no bc i need to talk about this, like i'm NOT DONE like bakugou as your next door neighbor !! since you were a child !! and it's a nice neighborhood and his parents seem well adjusted and have clean-cut professional jobs and hold dinner parties with your parents and they're always bringing something delicious for the neighborhood fourth of july get together.
BUT THEIR SON IS A LITTLE HELLION. the kid that had a mohawk in middle school and made fun of you for not using cuss words until you were like 13. and he's not a bad kid, bc he still is at the top of all his classes and never breaks the law or anything -- but he comes to school after his 16th birthday with a piercing through the middle of his lip and the clothes he wears are black and baggy and he drives an old beat up, cherry red shelby mustang and you're pretty sure he got the tattoo on his forearm before he was 18.
and your dad is like. absolutely not. don't even look at that boy. can't even be caught dead with him.
you've been neighbors for almost your entire life, but it's not like you're really friends. hung out together when there was no one else and your dad was too busy talking about the upcoming season for fishing and golfing to notice. your mom doesn't mind so much bc he's really not terrible, just a wicked little brat, and the week he started playing the drums, nobody in a five mile radius got any sleep. still blares music with open windows and turns it up even louder when you wave at him from across the lawn to shut up.
at graduation, he accepts his diploma -- summa cum laude, of course, the little shit -- and almost gets kicked off stage for sticking his tongue out in the picture. wears all this smudged liner under his eyes and gels his hair out at a million different angles. bc he's the WORST. and your parents try to throw a combined graduation party bc it's easier to plan, but of course bakugou could care less. doesn't even show up until the very end, after most of everyone is gone. counts all the money from the congrats grad! cards he got and then tells you,
"'m gettin' the fuck out of here after this."
you don't think he means the party.
"hate this shit," he grumbles, and you're surprised that he's even talking to you. in his backyard, in front of the beautifully built fire pit for those cold fall nights. it's still hot in june, but he lit it out of spite, bc he doesn't mind the heat. "never gonna be like these fuckin' losers, worried about what everyone else thinks of me 'n shit. oh the HOA will be upset if we decorate the lawn with skeletons, fuck you."
it makes you laugh--he kind of always does, with how crass he can be--and he looks at you, sitting in the wicker chair beside him. he looks like he's glowing in the fire light, liner looking even darker with the shadows on his face. he's traded the stud in his lip for a little hoop in his septum, another in his eyebrow almost hidden in his hair.
"know your ass is gonna stick around here," he says it like an accusation, frowning. "gonna fuckin'--look for some prince charming, tuxedo mask douchebag. shack up and buy a house in the hills or somethin'."
"maybe," you shrug, earning a scoff from him. now that high school is over, the future seems so--open ended. you thought you'd be prepared by now, after all that your parents have tried to instill in you since elementary school, but. you don't know. maybe you don't want to go to law school. "or maybe i'll--join a rock band. dye my hair pink and split my tongue, or something."
you stick your tongue out for emphasis and he watches you closely, sticking his own out in response. when you laugh again, he shuffles in his seat and looks away.
"whatever." bakugou snorts, "you don't know the first thing about bein' in a band. i'd have to teach you everything."
"oh, you think you could?"
"hell yeah," he grins, wicked, all sharp teeth and sin. "learn from the fuckin' master."
"oh my god," you roll your eyes, but smile at him anyway. his eyes dart down to the curve of your lips, the apple of your cheeks, and then he's looking away again. speaking into the fire instead.
"i mean i guess i could, if you wanted, or whatever." the only fully painted fingernail remaining on his left hand is his pinky, and he picks at with interest. "if you--wanna come with me, not like i give a shit."
you try to picture it, you and him. katsuki. in the passenger seat of his car with nothing but clothes in a backpack, money stuffed in your pockets. wherever he's going--you don't even know--but it couldn't be too bad, with him. stopping in a motel when the driving gets old, buying snacks to feed him so he doesn't have to take his eyes off the road. he could be there when you get your first tattoo, and even though he'd make fun of you no matter what you choose, you don't think there's anyone else you would want there but him.
"when are we leaving?" you ask it to the sky, open and unending. dark and dazzling just like him.
from the corner of your eye, you can see him look at you for a long time before he snorts again, soft. disappointed, almost, because he knows it could never be. your fate has already been sealed, molded, starting from the day you moved in next door, and no matter how much you'd love to throw caution to the wind and follow him--it's just a dream.
"first thing tomorrow," he murmurs, and your heart thumps harder in your chest. so violent that it hurts. when you look at him, his face is turned up to the sky, too. "don't be late."
3.03 The Searchers || 5.05 Peer Pressure
[image description: 10 gifs from 9-1-1. There are 2 gifs in each row, with 5 rows in total. The gifs in the left column depict a scene from season 3 episode 3 and the gifs in the right column depict a scene from season 5 episode 5.]
gif 1: from season 3, episode 3. Buck walks closer to Eddie and asks, “You want me to watch Christopher?”
gif 2: from season 5, episode 5. Fidgeting slightly, Buck tells everyone, “This place, and uh, you guys mean so much to me. Which is why, for the good of everyone, I’ve decided to put in for a transfer.”
gif 3: from season 3, episode 3. Eddie jokes, “It’s easy. He’s not very fast.”
gif 4: from season 5, episode 5. Looking confused, Bobby and Eddie both ask, “What?”
gif 5: from season 3, episode 3. Buck asks, “After everything that happened?”
gif 6: from season 5, episode 5. Buck says, “Everything feels broken now, and it’s my fault. I’m the reason he’s gone.”
gif 7: from season 3, episode 3. Eddie says, “A natural disaster happened, Buck.” Buck argues, “I lost him, Eddie.”
gif 8: from season 5, episode 5. Bobby says, “He came to see me, said he wanted to find her. I told him he should.” Eddies says, “I told him it was the right thing to do.” Hen says, “And I offered to go with him.”
gif 9: from season 3, episode 3. Eddie insists, “No, you saved him. That’s how he remembers it. Now, it’s his turn to do the same for you.”
gif 10: from season 5, episode 5. Offscreen, Hen reassures, “He’s coming back, Buck. With Maddie.” Bobby adds, “And when he does, you’re gonna be right here, where you belong.” Eddie grins and tells Buck, “You’re stuck with us.”
one of the great tragedies of hotch’s character is that all his strengths are all his weaknesses. there can always be too much of a good thing and hotch isnt one to do anything by halves. even if he ever got the point where he wants to try to make an effort to be a healthier man, to live a happier life, he’d struggle to justify overcoming his flaws when they’re so intertwined with his virtues
he’s selfless and he cares deeply for others, always putting them first. but only because he’s so used to putting himself last. he does the absolute most to protect the ones he loves and blames his own deficiencies when it proves insufficient. his overzealous sense of responsibility keeps him moving, keeps him from giving up, but he its hard to let himself take a break. it’s difficult, uncharacteristic, to not take everything to heart. carrying his own sins as well as the burdens of others. he knows he can take it. and he doesnt think anyone else deserves it.
he’s dedicated to his job. he’s been pushing himself for years with an admirable but rigorous work ethic as he’s climbed his way from being a successful lawyer to an even more successful fbi agent. but only because he’s afraid to stop. if he stops trying to put good into the world, if he stops trying to help others, then his life on its own doesnt have enough merit to justify living. if he’s not constantly working, then he’s just not good enough. there’s not a problem in the world he won’t try his damndest to fix and there’s no end to the guilt he inflicts on himself until he reaches his goal.
he’s gentle. he’s oh so gentle for someone in a job that encourages aggression and ferocity. while he doesn’t shy away of asserting his authority when he needs to, its not something he throws around for the sake of it. he’s softspoken almost. for the most part only speaking in a low, mild tone. he’s got a white knuckled grip on his temper, careful not to let anger get the best of him. he may get overwhelmed by other emotions sometimes: grief, regret, self pity; but never anger. he’s terrified to think of who he might be if he ever succumbed to that. considering how much guilt he harbors when someone he cares about is hurt, i cant even imagine what he would feel if he was the one who actually did the hurting—even accidentally.
he’s taken everything he hates most about himself and everything he fears of becoming and twists that around to be the exact opposite. he has values and so so much care for others. but it’s not enough unless he sacrifices himself in some way. it’s hard to say he’s wrong for these things, but he’s just chipping away at an already broken man. i dont think he’d ever let himself stop until there’s nothing left