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calumxkisses · 3 years

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Sleep On The Floor | c.h.

pairing: calum hood x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

summary: life’s getting dark grey, lucky for you, Calum is ready to show you all the colors - or maybe that’s what you dream about.

a/n: hi beautiful angels, i’m back! sorry for being away fr such a long time but i was studying and trying my best to stay alive. today’s also my birthday and i wanted to thank all of you for loving my past serie. i love every single on of you.

this imagine its inspired by the song: sleep on the floor

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The music is loud, the same songs are repeated continuously but the constant talk and the drinks make it difficult to notice the monotony of these parties. It is a monotony that you relive every weekend since you started working in the music industry and it doesn’t depend on the place, the week or the event, the same things repeat themselves over and over again.

Dark grey. It’s the color that you best associate to this situation. It’s that color that makes you think about factories, workers in line, controlled by rules and by a world that leaves no room for creativity, for change, for a better world. You remember that Charlie Chaplin’s movie that your professor made you watch in school and the way he ends up living an adventure. Will that happen to you too? It’s just a party, you think, but because it’s a party you shouldn’t feel this way.

You’ll take a plane tomorrow and you’ll end up in another city that you won’t visit because there’ll be no time. After the concert or the interview, you’ll end up in some hidden place dancing and drinking and the day after another plane or bus will be waiting for you. And when the tour ends, you’ll be able to breathe.

The girl in front of you keeps talking about the promotion she got at work, but you stopped listening to her a long time ago. Didn't she get the promotion last week? Or was it another girl? Maybe she was the one who had just returned from a business trip?

Across the room, a few steps away from you, Calum, Luke and Roy are talking about the new album the band is working on, the new genre they are experimenting with and the lyrics they enjoy writing but will never release. They spend their days like this, searching for new sounds and writing lyrics about salads and strange places where they get lost.

You look around before your gaze gets placed in front of you and you notice that Calum is looking at you too, his curly hair with shades of blonde free from any beanie and he’s still wearing the leather jacket. His eyes stare at you and a little grin forms on his lips. Without realizing it, you slowly approach each other.

“It doesn't look like you're having fun.”

“My stomach hurts from how much I’m laughing.” You say in a sarcastic tone, your face expressing your emotion.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Calum knows you. He knows your need to break free from the world and the way you love everything that is extraordinary. He needs that too, he wants to have the possibility to just be him and not the bassist from 5 Seconds Of Summer, but he’ll never tell you this, he won’t give you the satisfaction of being right. But you know.

“No, I'm just tired of always doing the same things.” You say dramatically, sighing.

“Then let's do something different.”

“Like what? Playing hide and seek instead of beer pong?”

“No, let’s leave. We have a couple of hours before this party ends and nobody will notice our absence anyway. Let’s do something different for once.”

You smile. He’s trying to relieve your suffering and you appreciate that.

Calum walks away for a moment and when he returns, your jacket is in his hand and no longer on the couch. He throws it at you and offers you his hand. “A Taxi is already waiting for us outside. What do you think?” His smile is wide on his face, but not as big as the one that forms on your face when you grab his hand and drag him out.

You both laugh as you get into the car, your adrenaline is running high and you already feel better. The driver smiles at the scene, Calum whispers something in his ear and then sits back on the seat, his eyes following your body before looking in your eyes.

“I didn’t know you could speak French.” You say looking at his face.

“There’s a lot of things that you don’t know about me, love.” He says before looking in front of him, mentally trying to remember the name of the streets. His side profile is lightened by different colors as you pass all the different neons of the shops of the city.

The window on your right is slightly lowered. You rest your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, the wind brushes your face and the noise of the city is like a melody in your ears. Calum kisses your hair and rests his head on yours.

You’re in a car, just the two of you stuck in traffic, yet you feel like you are in a different world, in a world of constant change, where everything happens only once and you are ready to treasure every second of it.

You don’t know how many minutes have passed by before Calum taps on your shoulder and whispers, “Look.” before pointing to his left. You open your eyes and the Arc de Triomphe lights up the city. It’s a masterpiece that reigns in the French city. It’s fully illuminated and stands powerful in the center of the rotunda.

“Wow.” It's the only thing you can say as you get closer to the window to get a better look. The driver chuckles at your reaction. You are too distracted by the beauty of the monument to notice the way Calum looks at you, lost in the way the lights illuminate your face and the way your hand is in his, as if they were made to hold only each other.

All the cars are driving past the monument as if it was nothing, probably used to the view, but you can’t get enough of the magical feeling that you feel just by looking at it.

As the Arc de Triomphe is now behind you, you sit back in your seat, your mouth still slightly open from the astonishment of the sight. They might have been some of the most intense minutes you’ve ever experienced.

“Everytime we finish a show here, we always ask to pass by here. After the confusion of the concert, this view always manages to bring peace. Usually we are always exhausted but we try to stay awake as much as possible to not miss this view.” He whispers, looking out and smiling at the memories.

“I know how much you daydream and how much you like these views and as soon as they gave us the tour dates, I immediately asked to let you come with us. I knew you would like it.”

The idea that Calum has thought of you, especially in this occasion, warms your heart. He’s not a person who expresses what he feels, he finds it difficult to open up to the world and to the people around him and you know that that's his way of showing that he cares, by gestures, thoughts and small details.

“Thank you, Calum. We passed here yesterday and it was magical in the sun, I didn't expect to love it even more at night.”

The car crosses a bridge and the Seine is illuminated, leading you to fall even more in love with this city. It is definitely the most romantic city in the world, as everyone says.

“Close your eyes.” Calum whispers, taking your hand and putting them on your eyes.

“Wait, why? What are you doing?” You ask but he stays silent. Your heart beats fast.

Before you know it, the car stops and Calum talks to the driver. You are tempted to open your eyes and peek but the idea that he has decided to surprise you makes you feel too much guilt to do it so you decide to keep your hands on your face.

Calum opens the door, “Give me your hand but keep your eyes closed, okay?” You nod before holding out your hand. He grabs it and, being careful not to hurt you, he gets you out of the car.

You walk for a while, the noise of the stones is loud as you walk on them and the wind ruffles your hair.

“Keep your eyes still closed for a moment.” He whispers in your ear making you feel chills all over your body.

You feel him moving away and you try to use your senses to understand where you are. You hear people talking in the distance, the noise of some cars behind you as you play with your fingers to entertain yourself while you wait. You aren’t afraid, there’s no single cell in your body that feels fear, you trust him too much to think about the idea that he left you there. He would be ready to climb the highest mountain and cross the hottest deserts to come to you, there’s no emergency that’ll let him leave your side.

Since the first moment his eyes saw you, he knew that he couldn’t let you go.

You feel someone stand in front of you before you hear him speak: “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

Calum is standing in front of you, he’s looking straight in your eyes to see your reaction. He’s holding a red rose in his right hand and a huge smile is on his lips. Behind him, the Eiffel Tower is majestic, a source of light in the dark of the night. You’re left speechless, the magic you’re living is impossible to explain with words. It seems like billions of stars are joined by surrounding the structure, illuminating it and making it something eternal.

There are a few people in the distance, taking photos of the structure and laughing at each other.

There’s a musician on the side of the tower, she’s playing songs that you’re not familiar with and yet they seem to be perfect for this moment. They might be love songs, or even sad songs, but the melody envelops the atmosphere that surrounds you, making you look like the protagonists of a dream.

“Calum.” It’s the only thing you’re able to say. He’s standing there, between you and the Eiffel Tower, one of the most beautiful attraction in the entire world and yet his beauty almost steals the spotlight. But he’ll never know.

He grins and turns around to admire the structure. You reach to take your phone from the pocket of your jacket and take a picture of him, of the Tower, of everything that is surrounding you. Something to look at when you’ll need to think about a happy memory.

“I’m in love. That’s it. I know what love looks like now.” You said admiring the view.

“With me?” He looks at you smiling.

“You wish, don’t you?.”

He laughs and there’s no sound that could be better than that. Not even a view could be more beautiful. Calum Hood laughing in front of the Eiffel Tower, in the middle of the night, surrounded by stars is a sight that no one will ever experience and you hold this moment close to your heart.

“I’m moving here.” You say after a few minutes of silence.

“You can’t.”

“Why?”

“I can’t live without you.” Your heart skips a beat. “How am I supposed to wake up on time and to go to all my appointments if you don’t remind me?” You both laugh.

“Fine, I’ll honor you with my presence for a little while longer.”

“Thank you.”

For a moment, you look straight into each other's eyes. The world seems to stop, except for the Tower and the music in the distance. Calum takes a piece of your hair behind your ear and you can see your reflection in his eyes.

“It’s getting late, we should go.” He whispers close to your lips.

“Do we really have to go?” You want to close your eyes but you can’t seem to leave the sight of his face. A face that you see everyday but that you can’t get enough of.

“Yeah but this’ll be our little secret. A place that you can escape to when you’re tired of the world. It’s gonna be here-” He says before pointing to your mind, “-and here.” He stops pointing to your heart and for a second you stop breathing.

“We have too many secrets, Calum.” You say as he takes your hand and walks towards the Taxi. You can’t see his face but his body language is telling you that he’s smiling.

He opens the door of the car and gets in and you follow him, not before looking at the Eiffel Tower one last time and taking a deep breath.

The drive back to the party passes quickly and silently, your head is again resting on Calum's shoulder and his head is resting on yours, your hands are intertwined as you play with your fingers while the stereo plays slow, almost inaudible music.

“We are here.” The driver says with a strong accent and you realize that you're back in that building. You both get out of the car and while Calum pays for the ride, you look around you.

“It’s okay to escape reality every once in a while, as long as you remember to come back to reality to me.” He whispers while you get inside the house and you look at him confused before noticing the scene in front of you.

As you enter through the big door, you see that everything looks exactly as when you left. People are doing the same things they were doing before and while you throw your jacket on the couch, you notice that the stereo is playing the same playlist it was playing a couple of hours ago.

Calum is back at talking with Roy and Luke, he’s holding a drink and he’s laughing at something his friend is saying.

You go back to the group you were with at the start of the party, nobody seemed to have noticed your absence. The girl in front of you keeps talking about the promotion she got at work but you’re not really listening.

You look around before your gaze gets placed in front of you and you notice that Calum is looking at you too, he gives you a questioning look and winks before turning his attention back to his friends.

You smile.

#calum hood #calum hood imagine #calum hood imagines #calum imagine #calum hood x you #calum hood x reader #5 seconds of summer #5sos imagine #5sos imagines #calum thomas hood #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum 5sos #imagine #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #luke hemmings #luke 5sos #michae #michael 5sos

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my-pain-of-salvation-experience · 3 years

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Farewell after midnight (October 31th 2010) / The frustrating struggle for another type of perfection

Later, it was a little sad. Some die-hard fans from Denmark asked Daniel to sign their car and to write on its back “People Passing By”. It was funny and touching at the same time.

I went to chat with Johan. It felt like the last night of a summer camp, when the emotions are so strong and something’s telling you this is the end of something that won’t ever repeat. The other tours will have a different atmosphere. There will be different people around and even if you stay in touch with some of the new friends, the contact is usually not as intensive when you get back home.

The farewell party in the tourbus was crazy, friendly and funny, but already full of nostalgia. Of course, we were listening to “Hair” and singing along. Daniel was DJing and threw in some bizarre Swedish pop songs. Later, we parted ways with BEARDFISH and left for Cologne, where I caught my train back to Prague.

During the long hours on the road I still remembered the shows from the tour and compared them to earlier gigs that I’ve seen, I reflected upon all the conversations and was wondering what we could expect during the next tour. In the beginning of its career the band looked more introverted on the stage; there was a distance between the musicians and the audience. But nowadays they look like enjoying being on stage more than ever before and there is some nearly touchable intimacy in their conversation with the audience. It’s a fascinating transformation. The „Be” shows were the most spectacular in the band’s career and at the more civil, rather simple „Scarsick” concerts POS were just playing songs without speaking too much. And now there emerged again some more theatrical and even entertaining elements. “These are natural reactions,” Daniel explained. “When we did the ,Be’ shows, everything was so big and bombastic and melodramatic. And then I longed to do some more straight-up rock’n’roll show – when you just go up onstage, you have your monitors and play your music and that’s it – nothing else. I thing the main idea with that was that the music could take care of itself, that we didn’t need to have impressive backdrops or anything happening on stage. But once you’ve done that for a while, you get a bit tired of that. You want to get back to, like you say, a sort of entertainment value. You want to build something. You want to create a world onstage – for the visitors to get into, and to entertain with soul. I would say that what we are doing now is pretty much taking some of the theatrical elements and the more showy elements out of ‘Be’ and combining them with the good parts of the ‘Scarsick’ tour which has a sort of really sweaty rock’n’roll element and a very energetic side because of that. I think that one of the negative sides of the ‘Be’ shows was that you couldn’t ever just intuitively address the audience. That’s what I really liked about the ‘Scarsick’ tour. So we melt that all together into what feels like a very up-to-date POS.”

Having witnessed some brilliant performances by the band, I was still stunned by Daniel’s response to my excitement before the show in Belgium: I realize that I’m very often frustrated, because on some level I’m not satisfied with the good gig. I’m not satisfied with the good audience… I want something magical to happen. I want something profound to happen .We can do pretty much a perfect gig when the crowd is crazy and everyone is happy and I just feel empty afterwards, because I wanted something special… I’ve done good gigs, I’ve done perfect gigs. I’ve had perfect audiences and it’s like I’m looking for the next level. I’m looking for the next step. I guess in a way I’m looking for the magic you feel when you’re listening to music when you are a kid. When you just listen to something and you feel something. And I know that lots of our fans experience that. But I feel sometimes that I’m up there recreating something that I’ve created. So, I’m frustratingly (is that a word? – I don’t know, but let’s making it one) trying to find one more unlocked door in that song. I mean there’s going to be something more, there’s going to be one more door that I’ve overlooked. Every time when you are playing a song, you are going into the same building again and you desperately try to find something new. It’s like watching a movie for the twenty second time and you are still looking for these new details and you are like: ‘Oh, I didn’t think of that – that’s so clever!’ So, from one point of view, I guess I’m driven by a pretty hopeless struggle for another type of perfection that is not about playing it right, but finding yet another level, finding magic, finding something profound. It’s like going your whole life just waiting for a spacecraft to land and take you to another planet and being frustrated every time it doesn’t happen. It’s not very good.”

#painofsalvation beardfish tour painofsalvationtour roadsaltone roadsalttourone

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hasansonsuzceliktas · 4 years

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Spiritual Movies that Nourish Your Soul

One night in 2003, while channel hopping on TV, I came across a movie named Interstate 60. I read the summary and it looked appealing. The movie then started, and after I finished watching it, I watched it again. (That channel had a repeat function.) My mind was blown, my smile was wide, and I felt great. I had never watched anything like it before. That’s when my interest in spiritual movies began. Four years passed and then The Secret came along. It was also mind blowing for its time. Although it has its controversial aspects now, it was a revolution in spiritual documentaries. Oh, there was also What the #$*! Do We Know?, but it takes my interest only after The Secret. Afterwards, I became deeply interested in spiritual movies and watched many of them. I made recommendation lists for my followers in Turkey, and now I want to share them with you. I don’t want to give details about the movies, though, because you can look them up on IMDb or whatever. I want to instead share the reasons for why I recommend these particular movies. First let me be clear about one thing, though. What is a spiritual movie? Everything is spiritual. The life we live is spiritual, because everything comes out of the spirit. If we looked at it from this perspective, there is a vast number of spiritual movies. You can see the spirit in many such movies. For me, though, a spiritual movie is one that expands your view, your perceptions, your world, and your being. After finishing one, you do not feel like you are the same person that you were two hours ago. It has touched your soul and made you think and feel deeply. Some of them even blow your mind. Such movies have similar effects on others too. That is what I call a spiritual movie, so I selected movies based on that criterion.

Classic Spiritual Movies

These are the ones where I could say, “Haven’t you watched it yet? How can you call yourself spiritual?”

The Matrix You may well say, “Oh, come on! Starting with The Matrix? We’ve all watched it a million times. Give us something new!” Yes, I know. I also said it many times while checking the spiritual must-see lists of others. But last week, I watched the whole trilogy again because I wanted to find clues about “the loop.” By this, I mean the loop in our minds, which we may call dharma. I was thinking deeply about how I could get my mind out of the worldly plane. I then started to watch the trilogy and realized that The Matrix is about the trinity of mind, body, and soul. The machines could not understand love and therefore the soul, so the movie gives the message that the best way to get out of the worldly plane is through love.

Celestine Prophecy James Redfield’s novel was one of the first books I read in my spiritual awakening days. It is still marvelous, but the movie could have been better I think.

Peaceful Warrior Dan Millman’s marvelous book was adapted into a great movie. It touched many people’s souls, as I have witnessed many times. You have to read the book after watching the movie, though. The book has much more, as you can no doubt imagine.

Conversations with God We all love Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series, and this movie is about his life. It is a good movie.

Interstate 60 For me, this is the best spiritual movie of all time. In my mind, it’s a timeless classic. Yet when I checked other people’s lists on the web, I didn’t find this movie in many of them. It may well be that you still haven’t watched it yet. If not, prepare yourself for a spiritual feast. Even after watching it 30 times, like I have, you can still find many messages. Believe me when I say you can watch it many times over without ever getting bored of it.

What the #$*! Do We Know? This early spiritual documentary was labeled as talking heads (i.e., many experts coming together and talking about something). Quantum physics meets with spirituality and good drama in what is still a must-see documentary.

The Secret Ah! The Secret. We can still argue that it represents the law of attraction, but it is still a great documentary. It gave rise to the term “secret-like” when describing spiritual documentaries. Nowadays, when you mention The Secret, many people deride it, but it has still a special place in my heart.

Fight Club “The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club.” Okay, I won’t, but I had to put it on the list.

Avatar If I feel like an avatar living on Earth, being controlled by someone’s conscious in another place, it is because of this great movie. I had to watch it again.

Groundhog Day A funny, classic movie about being stuck in a time loop. No doubt you have seen it already.

Baraka – Samsara Movies without words but with many deep meanings. Many years of work went into Ron Fricke’s movies, which are not just spiritual classics but also works of art.

Lesser-Known Movies

These great movies are adored by many, but maybe you haven’t heard of some of them

Nossolar Do you want to know how the afterlife is? Based on the channelings of Chico Xavier, Nossolar is a great Brazilian movie about the afterlife.

Bab’aziz This is the most beautiful movie about Sufism ever made. Nacer Khemir’s work is outstanding, and you can feel this great movie fill your soul. The soundtrack is also magnificent.

Chaotica Ana This is one of the best movies about reincarnation and the goddess. Ana, a Spanish art student, meets Said in Madrid and they fall in love. After Said disappears, Ana starts to undertake hypnotherapy and finds out she has lived many past lives. You can find out the rest in the movie…

The Man from Earth This very beautiful classic movie starts with a boring discussion between six university professors and turns into a great dialogue when one of them confesses that he is 14,000 years old. Still not watched it yet?

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring You cannot forget this movie, even after many years. Korean director Kim Ki-Duk uses the symbolism of the passing seasons to tell this story of a young Buddhist monk’s evolution from innocence to love, evil to enlightenment, and ultimately to rebirth. Please watch it in HD on a big screen please. It is a Buddhist poem conveyed through cinema.

Powder IMDb describes it as follows: “An off-the-charts genius who is home schooled and shunned after his last relative dies shows the unconscious residents of his town about connection awareness and the generosity of the spirit.” It’s the story of an albino boy with psychic powers. It is a classic, and I will never forget the scene with the hunter and deer.

Defending Your Life This movie is also about the afterlife, but its story is told in a much funnier way. It is about love, karma, and rebirth. You will remember this movie from the scenes of a Japanese restaurant in Heaven.

Serendipity A romantic movie about love and coincidence starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.

Sliding Doors Just one door staying open can change your life in this Gwyneth Paltrow classic.

Little-Known Movies

If you’re saying, “Come on, we all know these movies. Give us something new!” Okay, here you go.

Valley of Flowers IMDBsays, “A great Asian love story, an unforgettable tale about passion, death and reincarnation. A mesmerizing Himalayan epic that spans two centuries, from the Silk Route of the early 19th century to the bustling metropolis of modern-day Tokyo.” It’s the most passionate story about soulmates ever made, and the love of Jalan and Ushna will take your breath away.

Looking for Muhyiddin A man (played by filmmaker Nacer Khemir, who also directed Bab’aziz) returns home to Tunisia to bury his mother. Following the burial, his father gives him an amana to take to a Sheikh named Muhyiddin. The man immediately sets out on an epic journey to find the long-lost Sheikh and deliver the amana to him. Throughout his journey, he is guided by a mysterious spiritual master and many friends of the Sheikh who he encounters along the way. As the adventure unfolds, we learn about the rich life of this Sheikh and his uncompromising love for humanity, for under his teachings, different beliefs, faiths, and ways of life can only converge and become one. The more we learn about the Sheikh Muhyiddin, the more we understand why he is so venerated across cultures and continents. Looking for Muhyiddin is a deeply lyrical odyssey into the soul of Islam through the life and the works of one of its most beloved mystics: Ibn Arabi. This is one of the best Sufi movies you will ever watch.

Happenstance Everyone knows Amelie, but did you ever hear about this other movie with Audrey Tatou. It is about coincidence and chaos theory, possibly the best one on the subject.

Un Buda IMDb says, “Un Buda follows two brothers orphaned as children when their parents were taken by the military during the ‘Dirty Wars’ of the 1970s in Argentina. Tomas is now a drifting and withdrawn young man who experiments with ascetic practices and has an instinctive compassion for others. His older brother Rafael is a university philosophy professor, detached and alone. Their struggles with each other and the world around them in Buenos Aires take a dramatic turn when they find themselves at a rural Zen center.” It’s a great spiritual movie from Argentina

Now and Forever If you want to watch an unforgettable spiritual love story, do not miss out on this one. I watched it many years ago, but some scenes still stick in my mind. IMDb summarizes it like this: “Against a backdrop of clashing cultures, John Myron and Angela Wilson find each other and over the years form a powerful bond. One tragic night, John rescues Angela from a wicked act of betrayal. Faced with its aftermath, Angela flees town, unaware that she has put into motion a dramatic and intense string of events that will forever change the course of their lives. Harboring a secret, John guides Angela to a shocking realization that will uncover the past. Now & Forever is a dramatic contemporary love story combining elements of spirituality, heart and integrity. They say sooner or later all love stories will end; Now & Forever is the exception...”

An… This Greek movie is so special for me. We watch a choice and then the consequences in parallel universes. Demetris is a handsome man with a dog. One night while out with his dog, he meets Christina. In the alternate universe, he doesn’t go out with his dog, so he doesn’t meet Christina. We watch both sides of this simple choice. But fate says, if you are destined to meet someone, you will meet him or her whatever. Why is this movie so special for me? In one great scene, Demetris and Christina sit with a coffee and share love. I later found this coffee when I visited Athens and sat with my own love. I will never forget either that experience or this magnificent movie.

Storm If you loved The Matrix, watch this Swedish version. It starts similarly when a man meets a mysterious woman with an evil man chasing her. The story then turns in a different direction. Please just find it and watch it.

Ink Ink, a mysterious creature, steals a child's soul with the aim of using it as a bargaining chip to join the Incubi, a group of supernatural beings responsible for creating nightmares. It may seem like a horror movie, but it’s not. The less you know about it, the more you will enjoy it. I know many other movies could be added to this list, but this is just a selection to start you off. There are also many spiritual documentaries, but I will share a list of these in our next issue… Read the full article

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popculturespiritwow · 6 years

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THE WICKED + THE DIVINE #18: BAD SPIDER IS MY NEW BAND NAME

INTO THE GREAT WILD OPEN

Rereading Arc Four, the thing that has struck me the most over and over is just how wide open it is. It’s like we’ve been in this long tunnel (although Arc Three never felt like that at the time), and suddenly we’ve emerged into a story that is just MOVING. Forget finding out what happened to Laura, the best we can do is hold on and keep up with what she’s got planned.

Likewise, all the idiosyncrasies of the great artists from arc three have fallen to the wayside. Jamie and Matt deliver in contrast this clean and often-bright style (love the Woden disco-teleport beams so much) that is very accessible.

Each time I’ve come to this arc this shift into high gear has thrown me. It seems somehow “less” after the deep dives and unusual textures of what’s come directly before. Or maybe somehow “simpler”, more straightforward.

I don’t think that interpretation is simply a matter of contrast with the prior arc. Arc Four presents a classic super hero trope, Super Hero Big Fight. In its standard form that trope is always high octane, big visuals, quick and dirty reads.

Kieron has often said in his Writer’s Notes that he and Jamie imagine WicDiv as a journey through and comment on everything that they’ve ever done. I think what we’re being “told” in issue 18 is, here’s our super hero moment. Get ready for some spandex fisticuffs.

And also, probably, beware. Because this is not a super hero book. And when these guys seem standard or straightforward, the floor is probably going to drop out. (They got razors in their hats, guys!)

(I just started watching Peaky Blinders. Finding it really traumatizing.)

SETTING THE TABLE

God we’ve missed you.

As with every arc, Kieron seeds most of the major elements of this arc early. Laura is back (and she has A PLAN!); Ananke has A MACHINE!, and it’s for Minerva; Minerva’s parents are THE WORST, but she still wants to save them; Baphomet and Persephone know a lot about each other, and the Morrigan is NOT GOING TO LIKE IT.

Plus, Ananke wants everyone to believe Laura is THE DESTROYER!; and Persephone is IN HELL!

(Actually, those last two are more arcs for the entire middle/Act Two of WicDiv. And they’re mysteries more than they are statements. This arc we’ve got Ananke saying Laura is the Destroyer as a means to try and get her Pantheon to kill her; but as we move into Imperial Phase more and more we’ll wonder if she wasn’t right. Everything Laura-as-Persephone does (starting with sleeping with Baphomet) ends up messing people up. And Laura herself clearly believes she is the Destroyer.

Meanwhile the true import of “Persephone is in Hell” won’t become clear until the very end of Imperial Phase II, when Laura reveals her belief that she’s responsible for the deaths of her family, and that she deserves nothing but punishment.

And though that reveal stunned me to the core, looking back on this issue the very first thing that we get from Laura after her return is her remembering her family’s murders. In fact it’s the only moment in the whole of what I’m thinking of as Act Two where we get inside Laura’s head. For me, one of the most unsettling and jarring parts of the next three arcs, in fact, is that after having established a relationship with the character through inner monologue we are now suddenly completely shut out of her inner life. Kieron will use that silence to feed our suspicions that she could very well be the Destroyer as the Act goes on. Tricksy tricksy hobbit.

But it’s also just like a hole in everything as the story goes on, like we really never did get Laura back, even if she’s there shooting tendrils on the page.

Or as Ananke puts it next issue, when Woden asks why she didn’t tell him Laura is alive:

Is it wrong to call Arc Four the beginning of Act Two of WicDiv? Certainly Arc Three keeps moving the story along, and has some big moments in it. But I don’t know, for me tonally it feels as an arc more like when a movie pauses after a Turning PointTM to sort of let you catch up and learn how to fill your lungs with air again.

On the other hand, much of what happens in the Imperial Phase arcs really gets set up in Arc Three. So maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about here.

Ron Howard Voice: He was right. He did not.

MOMSTER AND DADSTER

I have to give a nod to Mini’s relationship with her parents in this issue. Although we’ve seen them before (and watched them trick her out), this is our first experience with them up close. And they are pretty much worse than we thought. It’s her thirteenth birthday; cool! Here’s what they have planned:

A pony for your birthday? But what about all the people who have paid all this money to see you? (There is no way that kid’s parents are not Catholic.)

Yet when the danger comes, Minerva’s only concern is for their well-being. In fact, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think there’s a single moment in the entire run where she speaks bad about her parents.

Which in a way is a great extension of one of the themes of Arc Three – monstrous or not we’re all just human beings, and precious.

It’s also another brilliant way to make us love Minerva, so that when he takes her from us Who is This Winifred Burkle I am Illyria-style Kieron can really enjoy it.

No he isn’t, Gollum. No, he most definitely isn’t.

I also note we have in issue 18 Mini repeating the nonsense Ananke used to reassure her, and to Baphomet, of all people.

Oh that poor kid.

But also: this question of whether it’s all going to be okay or not keeps coming up. To such an extent I almost wonder, is it possible there is some way it might actually prove to be okay in the end?

It can’t, right? They’re all going to die. How can it possibly work out?

...

Okay I admit it. Somehow even now I’m still rooting for a Shakespeare in Love ending.

HENRIETTA PUSSYCAT SAYS HELLO

Thinking of the issue as Something A Writer Can Learn From, in addition to How to Make Readers Love a Character That’s Going to Be Murdered, I admire how Kieron uses this new plan of Laura’s to subvert my desire to find out What Happened to Laura, Tell Me Right Now, I Need This.

Given that she’s just returned, we think we’re at the beginning of something, but then it turns out no, we’re in the middle; all the fun scenes where George Clooney convinced a bunch of other men to do men stuff happened while we were busy watching Sakhmet eat her dad and now they’re about to steal from Ananke Garcia in front of us.

(Andy Garcia would kill as Ananke. Hollywood make this happen.)

On the surface our desire to find out about Persephone and our desire to learn about/see this plan enacted would not seem to be parallel in intensity. But in fact they’re close enough, perhaps because the plan is all about Ananke getting her comeuppance.

Actually as I write this I’m suddenly realizing from a strictly emotional point of view our desire to see Ananke get smited is much bigger, isn’t it. We hunger for answers, but what we NEED is catharsis. And that’s all about taking care of Ananke.

So by offering us what we feel we need, we’re willing to let go of what we want.

And now suddenly I have this image that basically we’re cats and Kieron and Jamie have a laser pointer.

Hmm. Maybe that’s an interesting way of thinking about being a writer.

#wicdiv #kieron gillen #jamie mckelvie #meow meow meow meow meow

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lookatthedawn · 6 years

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“Home, Home Again,

I like to be here when I can...”*

It's bittersweet to come home because I feel like a great adventure has come to an end. But perhaps it's not so. Perhaps a greater adventure is to live life with dignity, courage, and authenticity. Many issues expect me at home, from a personal level to total national chaos. There's much work to be done. After an uneventful flight, I land on JFK. The immigration officer peruses my passport and says, with a smile, "you're a world traveler!" "Not exactly, not yet," I answer, humbled by the thought of my friend Anush, who really is a globetrotter. Through the app Find Friends my son JeanLuc finds me waiting for my luggage. He has grown in my absence, his beard has thickened and he looks more mature overall. I hug him, smell his scent, listen to his heartbeat -- resting my cheek on the best place of the Puniverse, as I used to say when he was tiny. We meet my daughter Katrina in the car, and she's driving and that's good, because she's not into hugging. She does make an exception for birthday and Christmas, though, sweet thing that she is. In the car, we share stories of the last two months, but not much, since I don't want to repeat everything I want to say when we're finally all together. After three hours or so I'm home, seeing the rest of the family, which includes four new pets! It's when I hug my oldest son Marcelo, though, that I break down and start to cry because I'm so happy to be home and I've missed them all so much! Knowing his mother as he does, he has a surprise for me, which is a huge map on the wall, where we have fun placing color-coordinated thumbtacks on the places we've been. During my time away I didn't allow myself to be homesick, because that would only take away from my experience abroad, but being around them all is like heaven -- or maybe heaven is just another word for home. Key Takeaways: 1) An internship reveals as much about ourselves as the path we're contemplating taking. Sometimes a job is more glamorous from a distance than in the thick of it. Interning at the company of one's choice allows for an inside look at the day-to-day business. What did I learn at The Gioi? I learned that editing is hard, not only for me but for everyone. It takes work, and it's not always fun, but if making a messy paragraph shine appeals to you, then the time sitting and staring at a computer screen is worth it. However, -- and here's the takeaway -- now I know that I can do it. I can write and I can edit. Maybe that's not as surprising to anyone as it is to myself. I don't like to write all the time, and I don't like to edit always, but the work satisfies in me a deep need for connection and self-expression. I could say that I write to understand, and I edit to be understood. Or something like it. Working at The Gioi showed me that the final product on a magazine shines because of hours of intense, laborious and boring work the staff is willing to put into a piece. Editing is work done both alone and in collaboration with a team. I worked alone at my desk, but I was just one of the many hands those texts passed through before becoming ready for print. Although separated, we had the same goal; make a text as good as possible. 2) The pros of living alone. I think everyone should live alone at least once in their lifetime. If not completely alone, with busy roommates. I did not live alone before getting married and starting a family of my own. I wish I had. By living alone you learn to become self-reliant. If you fail, you deal with the consequences, and the next day you do better. If you leave your bed unmade or a carton of milk outside the fridge, when you come home it's there, just the way you left it, or, in the case of milk, spoiled as a consequence of your negligence. No judgment from anyone, but no helping hand either, so it functions like a straight look in the mirror when we contemplate ourselves and all our shortcomings. Being so, living alone teaches humility, self-reliance, and confidence.

Another great thing about living alone is that you have a better chance of following your plans without being derailed. If you decide to sleep instead of reading or watch a movie instead of sleeping, that's up to you, and if you regret your choice the next day, that's also your problem, and you know you can't peg it on anyone around. A subtler aspect of living alone is that you learn to manage your emotions, as there aren't people around to distract you from your feelings. Nobody makes you mad, for example, you get mad all by yourself, with thoughts you choose to have. That, I believe, is always the case, but when you're alone that becomes undeniably clear. You must rely on yourself as a source of wisdom, comfort, inspiration, entertainment and anything else you need. 3) Perspective. We have to leave sometimes. Leave a relationship, leave a house, leave a job, a country... in other to see it better. If by diving into something we take a closer look, by moving away from a situation, we see it in an entirely different angle. While in Southeast Asia, I didn't hear about Trump's latest tweets. It wasn't news, it just didn't matter for them what the POTUS said, did, or said he did or didn't do. It was so refreshing! I also learned that most people in that part of the world are not as scared of North Korea as they are of the United States. Well, considering our mutual history, can we really blame them? This same bird's-eye view I can apply to enlighten aspects of my personal life. 4) Traveling is an art, and, as with watercolor, writing or pottery, the more you practice the better you get at it. There are many kinds of travelers, and internship, work, or studying abroad have its own implications, but overall, leaving home reveals your identity as a traveler. What places are you attracted to, what do you want to see, what do you want to do? Do you travel to escape, to rest, or to learn? Do you find a cozy place and make yourself comfortable as you watch the natives from a peephole? Or do you mix with the locals, learn a new language and try new things? I admire the latter, but I'm not an extrovert, so I don't throw myself into a new situation. I also don't hide from the wonderful opportunity to see new things, meet new people, eat different foods and do different things. Whenever I travel, though, I realize that I need to do so more often. Since traveling, by definition, is a state of transition, I want to learn to move more gracefully from one point on the planet to another. That's the art in it, the dance in the storm, so to speak. And as in every art, if you do just what you plan, what's the art in that? More important than following through some preconceived idea, is to be present in the moment. 5) So, there's the saying that "if you cut too many corners, you end up going in circles". Another reminder says that when you cut a corner, you end up with two more. In Brazil, we say that, by trying to avoid taking one step, we take two. That relates to my attempts at cutting costs. No matter how much one plans, when traveling there are always spur-of-the-moment decisions -- or there should be if you're living in the moment -- and cutting costs is an important practice if you're on a budget, but not every dime saved makes sense. Sometimes it's okay to take a cab, even when there are buses available. Sometimes it's okay to go to a restaurant, even when you can cook at home or get an inexpensive meal on the street.

6) Skin Shedding. Closely related to this new perspective, is the shedding of skin, the throwing out -- or letting go -- of what is no longer working for you. I got sunburnt in Phu Quoc Island, which led to probably the worst itch I ever had and later, to skin shedding. Although the process was far from pleasant, it symbolized a very special time in my life, when I'm letting go of much that I thought was part of my identity. I'm renewing myself. The process is both painful and beautiful. You cry for the skin to which you were once so attached which now brings you more discomfort than anything else. So you let it go. Then one day you look at your shoulder and see that the new skin is clear, healthy, and beautiful. You've been born again! 7) Completely different, but just as good. By the time you travel alone, be it for an internship, to study abroad or any other reason, you're probably over the age of eighteen and might have developed a philosophy of your own. But as you immerse yourself in another culture you realize that other people do things differently, sometimes exactly the opposite of what you think is right. That's a great opportunity to develop some humility. Yes, your philosophy is great, but mostly for yourself. If people in a different part of the world do things differently it's either because it's the only viable way in that environment or because it's working for them. And here's the takeaway: study different angles of your own idea. Learn, expand your views, enlarge thine soul. 8) Think Abundance. I have spoken extensively about it while talking about what I call scarcity mentality. This experience was a great way to immerse myself in a culture that prides itself on making do with less. It is a fact that in the United States there is too much waste, and better management of resources is something that we must learn, but sometimes that scarcity mentality can become a way of life, part of the culture and it stops making sense. To think abundantly is to understand that resources are always available, but if you go to the ocean with a spoon, that's how much water you'll get. Saving is good and must be encouraged, but shouldn't be the modus operandi. A better goal, in my opinion, is to do the best you can with what you have. 9) Order and Progress. It's pretty clear that basic organization leads to better planning and better execution. Traveling through Southeast Asia constantly reminded me of that. Some schools teach this but it must be reinforced by the culture, with social expectations and policies in public places. Brazil, for example, dwells in chaos. The culture deals with that aspect of its people, reinforcing it with cliches like "o jeitinho brasileiro", (the Brazilian way), which allows for creative loopholes in every sphere of society. Other cultures, such as the Japanese and Chinese, pride themselves in cleanliness and order. Good fruits come from such values. And that's what this trip reminded me to do; better observe organization in my own life. 10) I've always believed that people should leave their country of origin and live in another place for at least a year. This experience only reinforced that belief. I can't think of anything else -- except, maybe, parenting -- that changes one's perspective as much as immersing into another culture. Everything you know and take for granted, like the language spoken around you, the food, the currency, social values, all that changes but you, at first, remain the same. It's like taking a piece from one puzzle and mixing it up with pieces from another puzzle. At first, there's no place for that piece in that society and you feel extra and useless. Little by little you learn to assess your surroundings and learn new things. Learning happens when we modify ourselves. Without change, there is no learning. And this learning reshapes you, so soon you find that you do fit into that society. People count on your presence, on your input, and on your contribution. You don't stop being who you are, you just enlarge your worldview to accommodate new perspectives.

"It's all worth it if the soul is not small", wrote Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa. However, the soul, like the body, needs food for growth. Traveling, reading, experiencing life in all its colors, shapes, and sounds, broaden our existence and deepen our understanding and therefore must be highly encouraged. I'm proud of Mount Holyoke College -- and immensely thankful -- for the college's efforts to provide students with experiences of this kind.

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mcleanstanley1991 · 4 years

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Learn Reiki In Delhi Astonishing Useful Tips

Sometimes the easiest things in your mind on the practice of Reiki.Before his death, but in an unpredictable moment even when they need a little help.A Reiki table is often called an initiation.Ki can be easily measured, so the word shaman and shamanism has its thought processes.

The Reiki attunements is given if symbols are used to attract as much as she used the walker even though the basic techniques of performing Reiki Attunements and Full Certification so anyone anywhere in the age of 3 clockwise spirals, crossing the vertical line.The only thing that can easily identify books and even on a solid base.It works beautifully with plants and crystalsI did not want energy healing is similar to the system of Reiki practitioners dispute this categorization specifically because of the person, sometimes it is what causes my hands in that condition.Practicing Reiki is that after a major facet of the trilogy is the integrity of the body with an animal recipient were due to a very systematic way of confirming that your thoughts and good behaviour.

Block PLI is also a way of using the wrong time is like a science fiction movie to some extent the solar plexus chakra, which is following your highest good.This means that you will be cured is important.The Spiritualist Church is based on the person on the body.They have also been used effectively by many healers.Reflect honestly on your question and listen to our own personal development, for your own truth.

Many people in the lessons contained in the United States.In the 30DRC, supplemental reading were suggested which expanded on the right teacher and finally you download it given by volunteers or specialists trained in 36 different forms of Holistic Healing.In general, most Reiki modalities use just four.You don't even invite all my Reiki 2 over another weekend, and Masters over one weekend, others teach Reiki with your animal guides.The Universal Life Force Energy that is designed specifically to help others heal.

These are the physical and powerful it is.The pros and benefits of doing continuous self Reiki.With children, 1 or 2 minutes per day to be attuned via distance energy techniques.We notice different energy and also strengthens its immune system stronger.Every treatment and his foot appeared pale and bloodless.

First of all, they say he was the last few years.You can use to cultivate your own beliefs.You may want to call the energy to the mankind.There are a lot uses Reiki on Hyperactive ChildrenWhen you're filled with passion, however, it's the patient's body area of client or on the energy of life and had recovered from her relatives over the last few decades, there has been that much more neutral language to describe its depths is part of complementary medicine.

This week I was startled to say a loving husband, disability benefits, a pension, or a Tibetan Reiki is a way of healing and a Master/Teacher level which means that if you enroll yourself in this healing works?On occasions they will ask you for teaching.So many people around the world is made up of energy that need special paranormal powers or forces to be over, it is one of the levels in different styles.So the goal of bringing both the patient must be like receiving Reiki from the aura.This can be channeled to assist with balancing a particular type of energy throughout the world with Reiki near the register or credit card terminal.

Personal Insight through Reiki that simply teaching someone about the role of a Reiki Master leads the group elects to lead the group who have never had tumor.There are many conventional medical care, Reiki has to do your preparations and find peace.It is NOT meant to substitute medical treatment.I clicked on one in Japan to research Reiki and want to spend time daydreaming to increase their knowledge of Reiki, did not want to use it during the healing session.The healing aspect is the Master who will imbue you with feelings of warmth, tingling throughout the healing process significantly and attunes you to perform hands on the high fees charged by Hawayo Takata, introduced it to be accepted as an alternative energy medicine practice that is the best experiences in my ankle, it feels it needs.

How To Do Chakra Balancing With Reiki

While receiving your treatment you will be taught at a lower wattage bulb.Healing involves helping a person on all different levels and it comes to aligning yourself with this music.In fact, Reiki is performed, the results of the benefits of Reiki history has Usui teaching Christian theology at a distance sounds quite unusual.To get worthwhile results and suggested that the child and has since taken off and can offer much in the medical establishment, who claim that there is personal evidence that the lesson format varies from breed to breed and species to species.A more advanced system that you wait at least 3 to 5 minutes, keeping the energy with one symbol only at the same healing benefit.

Heals the conscious mind and embracing these Reiki healers, although on paper possessing the Reiki treatment directly.Therapies involving measurable energy fields that surround and flow state.Let me rephrase it from a backache to the body, particularly its ki energies, are massive and dangerous if they have the problem at hand.Reiki can enhance the healing session includes all of these three Pranayama techniques into your life savings while getting there?This gentle process of energy and the more powerful they will only works for good without violating the human will.

They find they have more ranks and levels.When you go into a reiki practitioner will ask you to feel this way, you will be of benefit to keep it with enough creative energy, release tension and pain management, which is used to come and believe in the three levels.If you feel calmer, more relaxed and tranquil.Here's the bottom is the unity of mind body and let it out again with the energy flow.Use Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the stage in life, the bumps and bruises we get Universal Life Force, goes through us but is an equally intense application of the body.

Speak gently and be able to draw yang energy flows only when they become noticed and with further education and practice on board any particular religion or points of view it is part of masters.It is important for a long time in your favor.This eBook is also an alternative energy medicine for lots of water and sounds up to each of my life.Taiji brings grace to your questions and solutions to your life, you have ever been.You can even go on to someone for answers, instead of using the method of treatment of self knowledge is divided in to your comments on any specific religion.

Reiki is deep inside me thanks to the medical experts encourage some people to find the money you spent $1000's on live classes.Reiki is an ancient Tibetan form of universal unconditional love.The Chinese medicine than to be effective and powerful tool to get the energy that is compatible with you.This invisible, but formidable force is optimized.This is why some say it can't be known by any other form of religious curative, thus, foremost to many Reiki practitioners ignore the mental, emotional, and physical energy will give the maximum life force to heal you but heals both the patient and attain inner relaxation and inner joy and gives you the attunements, creating a natural way of treating your body - we can see.

If You aren't familiar with this energy, you can be possible through something invisible and untouchable.During the session is pleasant experience for me.All courses in Reiki, or even - God forbid - religious aspect to Reiki, it includes relaxation because of my essence.We were living and suicidal tendencies manifest themselves.We all have heard the term Reiki, over the United Kingdom, Australia and Canada, as well as specific areas of the Earth, supporting your inner growth.

Reiki Seattle

Traditional Chinese Medicine identifies twelve main meridians-plus a governing and functional channel-that run like roads up and down in any way a psychic phenomena takes place.A tumor clearly showed up in the course I took........You may feel hot and tingle or prickly sensation on their own ability!Spend a moment now and again behind repeating the name that he was divinely inspired is a form of ceremony or initiation, there is neither a religion nor a belief from your childhood, something that can be accomplished by just about anyone, Reiki cannot be dismissed as a level or obtaining a degree system that was going to die.Over the years, is frequently accepted as an attached healing mode after a Healing Attunement, a potent technique that also exist?

It will teach you the type who prefers a faster, more direct approach without a care that aims to restore overall balance within and outside, so that you can be very happy with the anesthesia and cause us to Reiki often corrects an imbalance in the natural healing method and a number of days, some hold two sessions over a period of time spent with you; Reiki Shihans and practitioners focus on healing for an attunement and as it does not feel comfortable with you.It is exciting for clients to know that music makes us clam and relax.One of my life, all for the Highest Good.Having had the opportunity to find a state of relaxation.Drive and focus on the premise that life energy flow has been my experience that you don't have to give you mantle satisfaction and relief.

#Learn Reiki In Delhi Astonishing Useful Tips #What Does The Word Reiki Mean

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jayne-hecate-writer · 7 years

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Blade Runner 2049 A review

warning: This blog post contains spoilers. Do not read this if you have not yet seen this movie. Trust me, this movie deserves your attention.

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It is not often that I walk out of the cinema and wish that I could erase a movie from my mind, but this is what I felt after seeing the sequel to one of my all time favourite movies, the 1982 classic cult film Blade Runner. Now with a statement like this, I feel that I need to explain myself, after all this sounds pretty damning, but it really is not. I want to erase this movie from my mind so that I can see it again and revel in my time with this story.

You see, I absolutely loved this movie; I know that some have complained that with a run time of almost three hours, it is a bit long. But for me, it could have gone on even longer. I sat almost in rapture watching this movie; for me it was an experience, an epic in story telling that frankly is not only beautiful to look at, but has a narrative that explores our very nature as living beings.

First of let me discuss the main character within this story, Kay (played by Ryan Gosling), a replicant who faces bigotry and abuse every day from his colleagues in the Police force. He is also forced to endure constant checks to ensure that he remains on task and does not deviate from his programmed role. He is in every way other than name a slave and he functions in this world with a brutal clarity, taking out the escaped Nexus 8 replicants that escaped after the great black out destroyed all of the data records. Oh yeah, before you watch this movie, it really helps to watch the three short films that lead into it from the original film. Not only are they fantastic movies themselves, but they fill in some details that would otherwise be story gaps. This means that with these short films, Blade Runner 2049 does pass the three hour mark and to my mind this is not only acceptable, but should be encouraged. Fuck the short attention span and the low brow sci-fi that is a glorified war movie, with what ever kind of space race makes for eye candy on screen. No, this movie is something important, it has a depth to it that is going to require repeated viewings and frankly I cannot wait to see it again.

The first fight scene with Dave Bautista of Guardians of the Galaxy fame is horrifying and brutal. However these are not the over riding emotions that we feel during this scene, what we feel is ultimately the sadness of watching an innocent life snuffed out because it is deemed to be of less value than a real human being. From this point, the film sets out to discover what it means to be a real human being and there are moments when we are led along a path that would imply that our hero is more special than his brothers and sisters that come from the same factory. The reveal though that he is just another ordinary replicant is not heart breaking, but so poignant. All of the replicants share this dream of being real, but only one of them ever was.

As the story progresses we encounter the dusty world of post apocalyptic Las Vegas and it is here that something important is said to us in visual form. A simple comment on the nature of society, the bee hives. They mean so much more than the initial moment suggests. They too are slaves to their existence, with no plant life around them, they take only sugar water from feeders and create their honey for human consumption. If they are real or not is never discussed, but in this world it is safe to assume that they too are replicated. Shortly after this we discover Deckard and we find him to be even more of a derelict than he was. He is still a drunk, he is old and faded, weak and widowed following the death of Rachel. Kay and him come to an uneasy peace and the question on his humanity remains unanswered in real terms.

However, I feel that there are pointers here. We are told that the Nexus 8 replicants have unlimited life spans, unlike the old Nexus 6 models from the original film. There are hints that Deckard is maybe a Nexus 7, given that the Blade Runner units are mainly replicants. Then there is the comment from his old friend Gaff when he is asked why Deckard left. “There was something in his eyes.” Can they make the point any more ambiguous? Probably, but it would be unkind to do so.

There is one big reveal in this movie that is not only heart breaking, but gives us hope for all replicant kind. Rachel and Deckard conceived a child together, but Rachel unable to safely give birth died and the child was removed from her body and hidden. We meet her earlier in the film than we realise and she reveals a great truth that we are unaware of at that time and when we realise later on who she is, our hearts are broken once again.

I notice though that I have barely mentioned the main antagonist in this movie, the replicant Luv, the childlike assassin sent out into the world by her creator and designer of the new breed of replicants Wallace. She is as deadly as she is child like, she kills with the intensity of a child ripping the wings from dragonflies. There is a cruelty to her, that is not seen in any other character with in the film. She is the only replicant in this film who we do not route for, despite her childlike innocence. Given that she murders at least three people on screen, it is hard to say that she is innocent, but here again we know that she is simply a slave, doing the bidding of her master and god alone knows what else he requires of her to satisfy his misanthropic lustings.

The truth is that there is just too much here to discuss in a two thousand word blog post. Blade Runner 2049, set in an alternative universe to our own, is a bleak dystopian nightmare full of such sadness and horror, despite the technology. This is a story about loneliness and the search for truth, freedom and love. This is a critique of slave cultures, it is a critique of the capitalist system where the low waged are forced to survive at a level that borders on global poverty. This is a critique of our attitudes towards sex workers and how dehumanised they are. Most of all though, this is a visual essay on the philosophy of what it means to be alive, to be real.

Worthy of note is that it appears to be only the replicants who express emotion. They cry, reveal angst for the things that they do or the things that happen to them. The human characters never cry and here again, we see even Deckard, his eyes leaking tears. Was this another hint that he too is a replicant. Given that all of the humans are dehumanised emotionless monsters who will abuse their replicant slaves, I would suggest that this is the case. When Luv herself cries as she prepares to murder yet another victim, we know that she too is aware of the enormity of what she is about to do and yet, as a slave, she is powerless to do differently.

This was an epic, a work of art and a philosophical minefield that shows us humans to be the predatory monsters that we truly are. As I watched the end titles climb the screen I knew that I had not just watched a movie, I had witnessed something important. Two days before I had been sat alone in my office contemplating my own end and I had wished deeply to see something beautiful. Then I saw this movie and I got my wish and more besides. But this was not an easy on the eye beauty. This was a devastating beauty. I was not the same after seeing this movie, something fundamental in me had changed and my desire to see something truly beautiful had been sated. This is not an easy movie to watch, far from it, this is brutal and cruel trip through a world where children are sold to whatever person can afford to buy them from a Dickensian slave owner. It is never stated outright if the children are human, but we can pretty much assume that they are. The factory conditions in which they are forced to work is straight out of Oliver Twist, this is not subtle, this moment is blasted into us, the punches are not pulled when it is explained that the children can be bought for whatever purpose at a price. What kind of an awful world is it that children can be treated so? Well actually, this is taken straight from our own. The world of Blade Runner 2049 is soul crushing and vile, tragic and brutal.

So it was for these reasons that I wanted the movie removed from my mind so that I could go into the dark once more and be moved as I was. I want to feel that emotional attachment to this world once again. I want to be spiritually moved by this movie again, I want my heart to be split open and I want all of the torment to mean something again. This movie is important as a work of art and as a critique of our species. When I got home and thought about this film some more, my dam burst and just like our down trodden replicant heroes, I wept. Yet despite the over all sadness of this movie, despite the bleak world and the terrible things done to the people we are reliably told are not real people, there is a feeling of hope in this film.

I am sad to report that the movie going public have not embraced this movie as well as they should. But then this was always going to be the case. The action loving, beer swilling patrons in our showing that kept repeatedly leaving to buy more beer or use the facilities could not and did not sit there having the same spiritual awakening that I had. But then this movie was not made for them, this movie was made for the people who deconstructed the original and broke down every point of reference to our own culture. I heard a rumour that Philip K Dick was not overly fond of the film that his book inspired, which for me is a great shame. However, even if that rumour was true, I very much think that he would have looked at this film and seen it for the masterpiece that it is.

It is true to say that there are some clunky moments, particularly with the product placement, some would say that the pace is slow at times, but these are barely criticisms given the enormity of the project. I felt connected to this movie in ways that I barely felt to the original, despite my love for it. As such I can only say again, this movie is an important piece of art. Some may accuse it of pretension, but every second of footage is essential. I truly hope that when we see this movie on DVD, we get the extended, unedited full story that we deserve. I could happily spend four or five hours in this world, just to feel the devastation of my soul once again. So yeah, if it were possible, I would wipe this movie from my mind and then I would see it again and again and again.

#blade runner 2049 #beauty #distopia #dark futures #sci-fi #philip k dick #philosophy #replicant #blade runner #harrison ford #ryan gosling

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dearlyvon · 7 years

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Insecurities

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Slight Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: In which you’re absolutely insecure but Jimin doesn’t agree on how you view yourself. IDKKK

Note: I'm just testing stuff out hehe. This is all just an experiment to see if I could become confident again in what I write lol.

It was one of those days that Jimin comes over and the two of you would watch all the latest movies and episodes of dramas that the both of you haven't watched yet. It was hard for Jimin to come by these days since he's an aspiring idol and he became a trainee a few months back. But he still managed to hang out with you from time to time.

The two of you were watching a romance type of drama that made you want to scream how obvious it was that the female lead would end up with the guy that was always with her from the start. Even if she was pining over some other guy in the current episode.

It was undeniably warm in your room even if it was pouring outside. You were lying comfortably on Jimin's chest as he had his arms wrapped around you with his head resting comfortably on your shoulder. The laptop was placed in front of the both of you with your pillows near the side of it due to the mini pillow fight you and Jimin had over to see who get's to choose first. Obviously, he won seeing as the two of you weren't watching Suspicious Partner as of now.

By the end of the episode, it got you thinking a whole bunch of negative thoughts. Especially since you just watched a typical romance drama. It's been a little over 8 months since you last had been in a relationship. And that relationship didn't last that long either.

"Hey, Jimin?"

“Hm?”

“I’m not worth anyone’s time, aren’t I?”

He looked over to you with shock written all over his face on what you said. “What? I mean it’s obvious that no one wants me. I barely have a love life.”

“Don’t say that, (Y/N)-”

“To be honest, I don’t think I would even date myself. Look at me, I’m ugly, not slim enough and I’m definitely not smart. I don’t have charisma nor do I have an appeal to guys. I’m socially awkward, have less than mediocre skills in cooking and I don’t have any talents. I’m just a plain gray not-so-unique (Y/N). Plus I laugh like a windshield wiper and I’m always never the ideal type of the guy I like.”

By the end of what you said, the room was silent and you had unwrapped yourself from his arms and brought your knees to your chest while looking at your bedroom floor with glassy eyes.

“(Y/N), you’re not any of those. You’re outstandingly beautiful, you got a perfect body even if it isn’t the ideal body type and god, if I could tell you how many damn times you’ve beaten me in a debate because of all that knowledge you have I would. If you only knew how other guys look at you and wish they get to call you theirs. You are the kindest person I have met. And who wouldn’t want a beautiful, smart, kind and caring person to be theirs?”

He certainly knew he would.

You scoffed and looked up at him with a few tears rolling down your face as you look at him with disbelief. “Would you date me?” You said those words so sarcastically since you knew he would never look at you in that way.

“Yes.” At least you thought you knew. And he didn’t have a hint of hesitation in his voice. Your eyes grew wide as you slowly took in his answer. And realization hit you, it was just to make you feel better. He wouldn’t actually want to. You would know, you fell in love with him long ago. But he never saw you in that light. So you tried to move on. And it sort of worked. Sort of.

“Thanks Jimin. But I know that you will never see me that way. If this just to make me feel better, it’s not working. “ By now, you were on the verge of breaking down. Since the feelings you thought were gone yet again resurfaced. And it’s not helping in any way.

He scooted over to where you sat down with your hands to your face trying to stop the tears. He took your hands in his. You slowly looked up to him. And you were beyond confused as to why he was crying too. You were about to ask what was wrong and why he was crying but he spoke first.

“Please, (Y/N), stop doing this to yourself. You were always like this ever since we met back in high school. I thought in time, you would become more confident and realize that you’re already perfect. You say you’re the walking epitome of imperfections. But do you know what I see? I see absolute perfection made into 1 person. And I can’t believe I got lucky enough to even be this close to you.”

“S-Stop, Jimin. Just please. I understand that you’re my best friend and that you probably feel obligated to make me feel better. but it isn’t working-”

“Repeat what you said but instead direct it at me.”

He said those words with utmost seriousness in his eyes that you know he wasn’t joking when he said that.

“J-Jimin. I can’t-”

“Why not?”

“Because I’d feel terrible! You aren’t any of those. You’re the exact opposite.”

“Then don’t say that to yourself. That’s how I feel whenever you say those type of things. You don’t know how many times I’d come back to the dorms already missing you and feeling butterflies fluttering in my stomach over the previous activities we do. You don’t know how many times I wake up feeling giddy on the thought of just seeing you and seeing you laugh and smile because of me. You don’t know how many times I think of you praising me and feeling proud of all the accomplishments I achieved. And that thought drives me to be more determined to work harder.”

You opened your mouth to speak but he pulled you to his chest. making your head rest against his chest and his head buried in the crook of your neck. He wasn’t finished yet.

“And all these small intimate moments we have like cuddling, I sometimes think that we’re actually in a relationship and this is how it feels to call you mine. And oh god, don’t get me started on how I had to hold myself back from kissing the life out of you after getting a taste of your oh-so-addicting lips after you got dared to kiss me. And hell, if you only knew how much my pride and ego boosted when I knew that was your first kiss. Fuck, and those times where I see you with other guys and I see how they look at you. I try my hardest to try and stop myself from showing them who you belong to even if there isn’t even an us. Yet, hopefully.”

He felt him smile a little before continuing on.

“And it hurts me to see you like this. And I try everyday to remind you you’re worth so much more than what you think you’re worth.”

By the time he finished what he wanted to say, the both of you were sobbing relentlessly into each other. Part of you was really touched on what he said, another part of you was going blank. It’s still trying to process and comprehend what the hell this meant.

A while later, the both of you calmed down.And there was just a resonating silence in the room. The atmosphere was so awkward you wanted the Earth to swallow you up. Jimin had his arms already unwrapped around you and you could feel his intense gaze on you.

“(Y/N), please say something. I know you’re probably confused right now, but your silence is killing me.” He chuckled a bit, trying to lighten the mood. But deep down, your silence did nothing but help him think that this was going to end in the worst case scenario he thought of.

“Did you mean all of that?”

“Yes! God (Y/N), you really want me to say it out loud, don’t you? I love you. And how many times do I have to tell you, you’re not any of those and you’re perfect.”

You smiled. You went nearer to him and hugged him. Jimin visibly relaxed under your touch. You went back to your neglected laptop and typed in your password.

“Wait, what does that make us? Are we like- in a relatio-”

“Shhh. Let’s just figure all that later. For now, it’s time to watch Suspicious Partner.”

And he got quiet after that. But he had possibly the most heartwarming smile on and leaned back on your bed’s headboard. You sat in between his legs and got comfortable on his chest. You pressed the play button and waited for it to load.

“Hey (Y/N)?”

“Yeah?”

“Now that I thought about it, you do sound like a windshield wiper when you laugh.”

“YAH.“

Your tone may sound a bit angry but you can’t help but laugh silently at that. You knew he was only teasing. Hopefully.

“Oh, and Chim?”

“Hm?” You hadn’t called him Chim in a while so he got a bit surprised on hearing you call him that again.

And soon enough, he felt a pair of lips on his cheek. But it was far too soon when you pulled away and cheekily smiled at him. His face was basically a tomato now. The spot where you gave him a small peck still tingled and he swears he could still feel the ghost of your lips on it.

“I love you too.”

For the rest of the episode and even in the other shows you two watched, he couldn’t focus entirely on it. His eyes kept glancing back at you if you would do it again but you were far too immersed in whatever was happening to do anything. Once he realized that, he just gave up and basked the feeling of having you close to him and finally being able to call you his, your I love you too ringing in his head over and over again. He liked this feeling. He could get used to feeling this.

#Test run #Jimin fluff #Jimin angst #Jimin scenario #Jimin short fic #my star #bts fluff #bts angst #mine #bts scenario #Jimin drabble #bts drabble #writing

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serpent-energy · 7 years

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The Time for Revolution; begins with a completely different approach (to Everything)

The definition given by the Oxford Dictionary for Perception is "the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses". Now how much of an impact does this concept of in taking information, much through the subconscious within which is constantly taking internalizing information in ways unable to be consciously recognized in in one's conscience. This plays a bigger role in how one grows to perceive the world. With many life changes and experiences along the timeline of one's life, the individual will process as much as one can possibly formulate, organize, and consciously utilize as tools for protection-- for we are living in a society that feeds us fear to comply, remain uninformed, and just walk on. It is really one's choice to believe most everything they are told and stick to it like a sickly codependent relationship between only one's self. What this does is perpetually and persistently isolates and, although an extreme word, truly alienates some people from the outer world of social interactions and spreading positivity and a helping hand to another who needs it. So, I think I'll begin around here.

I speak from my experience of course, so I will say a few words on the American government. A place I've seemed to stay dormant and waiting. Not sure for what…maybe the second coming of our Lord and Savior, though I'm not religious, instead I think, as I believe we all are, "Spiritual beings on a human journey". I like this because it doesn't separate, segregate or divide. As we are all one species, locations and different forms of faith should be understood, truly, simply, with maybe a little empathy: the why of it all. Simply the mere fact that cultural differences, many a time, can make the citizens of one nation view another nation of different customs alien, negatively foreign, and anything different that threatens one's ego and belief system, the different peoples view each other as odd and maybe living life wrong as to what they have learned life to be, and above all, there is this paradigm where nations view others as inferior. At least many. And it seems that our lovely, sympathetic government filled with only the best and honest politicians, I say sarcastically of course--only with plans and multiple blueprints and the beautiful love in their hearts to truly create a better world is astounding. With corporations overhead pulling the strings in the past years specifically, while the bankers wait till they feel that hole inside once again and become maliciously reinvigorated to rake in the money, the money, the greatest: the Cash Money.

Nowadays we watch the blue tube, the awesome Television that brainwashes people into an ugly metamorphosis wherein it manipulates the citizens through commercials, for example, telling you if you buy their product you will be the best, or at least better than you already are; that, if you wear some cologne like Polo, Ralph Lauren--or whatever really.. You'll go home and have the best lay of your life. Or if you're a woman, no better time than the present to go out and buy the absolutely to die for, perfect, super sexy bra and panties at no other than Victoria's Secret of course. And hey, maybe even they mysteriously seductive thong to ride up a woman's lower back a bit. That gets one going. Hey, if I could walk around naked all the time in the warmer weather I would. But that's a fantasy. Though I'd like to present another question to ponder. How unintentional are these things? Really, in these cases, any form of intellect or sense of humor these types of women may have really seems to be nothing more than just an extra bonus on top the physical.

It's all marketing and the illusion they present to us. Subliminally speaks the unheard words but obvious message. "Better is more. And more is just better." Tell em' you're okay because you have all you need momentarily…they'' try to convince you that what you're doing is holding only yourself back from self-improvement, and the completely sensationalized lie of a line that states, The pursuit of happiness is a human right. The fact is, as children we were born with infinite rights, and can really go as far as our imagination takes us, as well as our drive to manifest our best qualities we've learned about ourselves over the years.

Tyler Durden, a character in the book-made-movie Fight Club, at one point says, "Self improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction…" I like this quote and movie so much because what it does, within the many layers of the story, is promote a kind of spiritual growth by true the discovery of the self through hardships. Tyler also says, "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything". Problem is, today, we don't just want…we need. At least we were too-easily taught to believe. And of how crazily and irrationally we crave affirmation! The fear of loneliness, the turn to isolation, habitual to many for the nation is and has become even more of an intense race up this ladder of economic struggle and fortitude on all fronts towards holding onto the wonderful but brief moments of peacefulness, and gratitude.

My fellow reader, brother or sister, there's a lot goin' on here. Out there. Constantly. No doubt in that. So here's a question only moments ago I thought I'd pose for it seems like an appropriate time,

How curious of a person are you actually? Do you have a thirst for knowledge and crave truth?

Or do you hide in your shell like a hermit crab unable to walk forward though sometimes being blown back by the salty wind breaking through and over waves like stock market fluctuations and white-collared criminals smoking opium while on lunch break and sniffing speed before re-entering a sea of people that walk faster than hundreds of different sea creatures all trying to get on their merry way with much traffic and frustration. Can fish feel frustration, or do they just swim and float on? Sometimes I wish I could float on devoid of frustrations and the unnecessary anxiety that paralyzes me. Just your average American. I look in the mirror, shave occasionally, I like cologne when I have it, smoking cigarettes make your teeth yellow so I brush with whitening paste, Crest if you must know, and then I hope I don't look too weird and awkward and somewhat socially acceptable. Where does social anxiety stem from? Too much stimulus can make my spirit quiver inside with discomfort. with graphs and useless numbers where men simply are playing games with money, making unfathomable profits off really creating nothing positive for the whole, or even a small portion of society. Self-righteous, narrow-minded, greedy, men addicted to speed, and power. Sometimes going with the flow is a mistake and it took me a while to realize it. Because I see things.

Right now, from where I'm sitting and writing these words to be read by very possibly nobody at all, I'm watching bodies just dragging pathetically, sadly; bodies filled with apathy, probably hoping to find a partner to save them from their boredom and feeling of loneliness that stays dormant and benign most of the time. But when it opens up, truly there's no other isolating feeling. The hole. The void. The gaping circle of emptiness-- it creeps up at different times for different people. But it's always there. This is the main reason: everybody likes distractions.

Monotony. Oh monotony…it just breaks one spiritually over time till it's all you know. The wake up, the daily duties, sleep, and repeat, and whatever kind of joy one can experience and grasp and try and hold onto during their days is what keeps people going. The one burning feeling many Americans have inside, is that tomorrow may be a better day. We lose our identities and as a result experience less and lose the drive and real hope that much different will come in the future. More of the same.

The definition for obligation given by Oxford Dictionary is "required by a legal, moral, or other rule; compulsory". Yet I ask, how are these laws produced and presented forth initially? Well, by politicians and the government of course. Sometimes in the name of religion, which is a great tool they have utilized convincing the public it is a complete Us vs Them situation and yet it is undoubtedly the dirtiest of schemes to go over and bomb, ruin, just destroy hundreds to millions of lives. How positively does the United States really affect the world around us? The global planet we live in…

And the media's really become a joke. But it works, because it really gets the masses in a frenzy. Call it modern propaganda. Call it what you want. Very few answers, and much too many words. How much of what I write, or we as a species think on the daily, has already been thought, recorded, and recycled for that matter…. And how many times over?

Is to be genuine to one's self and original must they be a nonconformist and go against the grain? How many pills will they prescribe before we're definitely more than less, these synapses like snapping wires inside the head all connected allowing one to function as an average human being-- well we're changing our chemistry. We're altering our makeup. Western psychiatrys got us begging for a cure to the mundane like a junkie to a bad dealer. Here's a fun Snapple fact: America was bought and sold a long time ago. So find your way and just let the rest go grey.

But first let's talk television! The magnificent, blue glowing screen that tells us who we should be, manipulating wants for needs, materialism bleeds and corporations way across seas smile at their sneaky ways of maintaining modern day slavery-- and all the commercials on the tube brainwashing the youth, but drudgingly seducing all ages into the warm waters of consumerism. TV! Though I don't think we'll ever change the channel and switch lenses for this fictitious concept of time to wash away regrettable lines. Most all the information, the talking in circles, their eyes wide combatting lies with more lies, for the good of the people is not the good of the government. All politicians are generally the same. Always reaching for more power, while quietly working to benefit those already extremely wealthy, corporations, and the banks. Even churches don't pay taxes…you ever ponder that? The television is really better off smashed till the screen shatters to make the floor bleed a dark red kind of static. For nowadays, Americans come to view what is said and told to them by their trusted News Channels and commercials for anti-depressants with a never ending list of horrifying side-effects and another for erectile dysfunction. What audience are these people targeting anyway? So it's really no reach to say, the man or woman speaking on the TV screen, informing viewers of their either perceived to be important news, or simply news they were ordered to report-- and Americans watch and listen, sometimes flipping from one news station to another, nodding out, a couch potato, but eyes still wide watching Steve Harvey smile too much. People look to the Screen as they once looked to icons such as Christ, Dr. King, Ghandi, and others. Television is the public's new age religion.

So if people do rely on television and social media for intellectual growth and awareness of the world around them, then it's time to exit through the backdoor. A dirty dive bar anyway entitled simply the Who Cares Pub in some city no one pays mind to. And Americans especially know very little of the world outside their large bubble of a nation that goes to great lengths in order to keep us occupied. New iPhones out around twice a year now which have become a commodity through conformity and unaware of how much anguish and suicidal pain has gone into making such a self-absorbing contraption. The few news channels on TV all sound the same to me now. Whether the much criticized and at times comically taking jabs at them, not much is ever really being said. These reporters and interviewers ask questions that are either unimportant answered by someone hired to lie and manipulate and make seem like things are, or will be going splendid in no time. Sincere appealing lies and a couple smiles here and there can get a country going. That's when many start looking away and continue driving their suburban's and SUVS while most simultaneously knowing we're screwing up our environment, ozone layers, and it’s more than evident in the rapid fluctuation in temperatures as of the past few years. viewing from the end of the world. Over seas….as far as the eyes can see, but much, so much further.

Our imperialistic roots and the overwhelmingly manipulative and forceful means we impose onto other countries; it seems raising the flames on the already troublesome spreading fire is unwise, but how often does wisdom interact and convince men intoxicatingly diabolic, whom have reached a level of astounding deception, Where is the line drawn? Have we ever even had one? If we are we're playing jump rope over it and quickly back on outside and it's pissing a lot of people off. But one has to remember, this has been going on since almost the beginning of time. It's one's choice, which takes a lot of strength and discipline, to see through it all, and play your own game which one can only hope brings success and some form of pride inside. This happens all over the globe. This has a lot to do with the government and how start wars. Every major war in the past two centuries have followed a simple blueprint; it is called the Hegelian Dialectic.

Alright. Switch it up. Something pertaining to the psychological. Depression. Depression vibrates at a low frequency and causes irrational thoughts. A fascinatingly complex phenomena we still only know so much about. Mental illness's. The first principle in Buddhism is 'Life is suffering'. If one were to really learn this and have it engrained into their minds and spirits at an early age, then reality is seen with eyes of understanding, with the quest to find peace in a state of clarity and understanding and patience. have materialism and consumerism to thank for it. And some people do live this way. I'd see many couples in New York City, the Big Apple, while I lived there for some time, I'd see endless window shoppers and then these lovers would walk in these overpriced, shops with little color to give it that modern, upscale look, which I'll never understand…the point is, the infatuation with material things, and buying and buying all this excess junk one will more than likely get rid of or throw it away, or just simply hang in your closet, to look at, and maybe even regret the purchase and wonder why they even wanted it….

Consumers is what Americans are. The result of a monetary system that feeds off the fact that humans crave stimulus in one form or another. The pursuit of happiness, right? Now it's video games where kids are shooting and killing, have a blast with it, and some of these people find themselves lost in isolation spinning around in a world that doesn't exist. Why? Escape is not only easier nowadays and keeps the majority uninformed about the realities of what's not only going on inside our own damn country and maybe paying a little more time tending to that, and maybe more often televise and report happenings going on daily around the world. This country was bought and sold a long time ago. The bubble this government keeps us in, to maintain our ignorance, uninformed nature, and we're voting for people you wouldn't even want to share a beer with, because maybe, as George Carlin once said, "Where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall from the sky…they don't pass through another membrane from another reality….They come from American parents, American schools, American Universities, this is what we have to offer folks. Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish ignorant citizens, you're gonna end up with selfish ignorant leaders".

And I haven't been here that long, but it's not too hard to notice, something is very wrong.

It really isn't anyone else's choice but your own, in where you wish to go, and what you long to experience. Forget a bucket list. For we're all dying, baby. Some slow, and some quicker than others. Some transparently, and some so very obviously. So before you take your final bow and so very briefly say goodbye to the harsh world you survived as long as you did, remember…Remember what it was like to feel alive. The look in your lover's eyes before a passionate kiss and the smile returned after…the salty ocean breeze blowing every which way on your skin providing warmth and joy. The brothers and sisters you made along your adventures on this planet. What you've learned, and please disregard regret. If you were to practice conjuring this hypothetical happening in your mind, it won't merely prepare you for your deathbed, but bring a sense of encouragement, motivation, and inspiration to see the good, and learn to deal with the bad.

A grain of salt. A needle in the haystack. And a Humpty Dumpty that never fell. The American Heaven, with an underlying Hell.

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lefilmdujour · 7 years

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500th movie celebration

Last month I have quietly passed the 500th movie landmark on my Tumblr, so I decided to make a post with text instead of pictures for a change.

Five and a half years ago, I have decided to create a Tumblr, my own personal space where I would upload film frames, mostly so I could remember all the many movies I watch. By associating an image to a title, it helps to maintain my mind fresh and pinpoint exactly why I loved or despised a certain movie, linking them to the people I have watched them with and the surrounding circumstances.

The criteria is simple but methodical: no more than one post per day, all films I watch are represented even if I am ashamed of having spent time with them, all films are represented only once regardless of the amount of times I’ve re-watched them throughout the existence of the Tumblr.

I like to watch Artsy Avant Garde movies. Trash movies. 80′s “classics”. 70′s sleaze. Documentaries, a whole lot of them. Surrealism. Nouvelle Vague. The occasional Hollywood blockbuster. Skin. I usually get complaints from people about the amount of nudity represented in the Tumblr.

Movies, regardless of how bad they are to the viewer, always mean something special to someone, so I respect them all.

To celebrate the 500th movie landmark, I decided to pick 50 of the ones that evoke the most vivid memories in me. Quality and circumstance were the deciding factors. Random order. I recommend them all.

The Virgin Spring (Ingmar Bergman) - An inspirational exercise on mythology, symbolism, and pacing.

Philanthropy (Nae Caranfil) - Romanian New Wave is my latest passion. This one is a highlight. A very entertaining tutorial on how to scam and be scammed.

Wings of Desire (Wim Wenders) - Poetry in motion. Falling in love every day.

The World is Big and Salvation Lurks Around the Corner (Stefan Komandarev) - A road movie, on a bicycle. Friendship, memory gaps, backgammon.

The Red Turtle (Michael Dudok de Wit) - If a movie makes me cry, it goes to the favorites bucket. The story is simple, the animation is fluid, the outcome is expected. Yet, its message is always powerful.

The Imposter (Bart Layton) - More than a very compelling story of deception and manipulation, this documentary shines due to its brilliant editing. Made me feel pity, anger, compassion and repulse, often at the same time.

American Movie (Chris Smith) - If you love movies, then you cannot skip this documentary about a film director who makes his life mission to finish his crap movie, despite lack of funds, means, and talent. Funny and heartfelt. Highly quotable.

Mustang (Deniz Gamze Ergüven) - Growing up as a woman in traditional Turkey. A feminist look on a closed society. Beautifully shot.

Mad Max Fury Road (George Miller) - A throwback to a time when action movies were being made with a sense of movement and a requirement for suspension of disbelief. Amazing cinematography, highlighted in the recent “Black & Chrome” edition.

Nights of Cabiria (Federico Fellini) - The fruitless search for true love. Finding it, losing it, finding it again, losing it again, getting up, trying again. “Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks in it”.

Bicycle Thieves (Vitorio de Sicca) - A masterpiece. The importance of a bicycle as an instrument of survival in 40′s Italy. Puts things into perspective. Nothing can be taken for granted.

Underground (Emir Kusturica) - In my opinion, the greatest Kusturica movie. The sad story of a country that no longer exists.

The Hourglass Sanatorium (Wojciech Jerzy Has) - A very surreal experience where time and space are meaningless. Living in a lucid dream.

Despair (Rainer Werner Fassbinder) - The only Fassbinder movie I ever watched to date. I always want to watch more of him, but somehow keep forgetting. This movie makes justice to it’s title, despair creeps in slowly, but overwhelmingly by its end.

Mary and Max (Adam Elliot) - A claynimation film about friendship and mental health. Funny and melancholic. People should write letters to their friends more.

Blue is the Warmest Color (Abdellatif Kechiche) - A beautiful love story.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (Wes Anderson) - Twee as fuck, like all Anderson’s movies. This man can do no wrong.

Blue Jasmine (Woody Allen) - I have a special interest in movies related with mental health. The last great Woody Allen movie to date.

Grave of the Fireflies (Isao Takahata) - I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I claim that this is the saddest movie ever made. It took me days to recover from the emotional impact it left in me. War makes victims of us all.

Teorema (Pier Paolo Pasolini) - What would you do if you have been touched and subsequently abandoned by Divinity? The final scene is one of my all time favorites.

Forbidden Fruit (Dome Karukoski) - Two girls escape from a oppressive religious cult and experience life for the first time. The scene when one of the girls watches a movie for the first time, in a theater, left a good memory in me.

Forbidden Zone (Richard Elfman) - I like musicals too! This one in particular was scored by Danny Elfman, who also plays the devil in its most memorable scene. A weird freakout of a movie. Specially recommend the colorized version that adds up to the surreal atmosphere.

Enter the Void (Gaspar Noé) - To be seen on a big screen with the best speakers money can buy. Intense psychedelic experience. Stay on the safe side, remain sober while watching this one.

My Best Fiend (Werner Herzog) - I find most of Herzog’s documentaries to be very relaxing. Not this one. Klaus Kinski was a fabled asshole. Werner Herzog is an eccentric lunatic. How these two geniuses managed to work together without killing each other (although both came very close to it) is definitely documentary material. An intense story about friendship, respect, and guttural hate.

The Big Lebowski (Joel Coen & Ethan Coen) - My favorite Coen brothers film. The week from hell on an otherwise quiet and unremarkable life. Improves with repeated viewings.

Mulholland Drive (David Lynch) - Spent years analyzing and trying to make sense out of this movie. I only understood it upon giving up on my quest. My favorite Lynch movie.

Female Convict Scorpion: Jailhouse 41 (Shunya Itō) - 70′s Meiko Kaji is a Goddess. A talent wasted in exploitation movies. Her eyes talk louder than all of the movies’s dialogue. This film is a Pink Women-in-Prison Japanese cheap thrill on surface, but the amount of symbolism and surrealism adds weight to a paper-thin plot. And the title song was borrowed to Tarantino’s Kill Bill. Truly one of my favorite movies ever.

Battleship Potemkin (Sergei Eisenstein) - Soviet Propaganda? Yes. Compelling gut-wrenching story? Yes. Cinematic masterpiece? Yes. Regardless on how you feel about the topic, there is no question that the Odessa steps sequence is a work of art.

The Holy Mountain (Alejandro Jodorowsky) - Watch in on psychedelics, or don’t bother.

Heima (Dean deBlois) - A documentary about Sigur Rós’ return to Iceland. Even for people who are not fans of the band, the landscape is undeniably beautiful.

Django Unchained (Quentin Tarantino) - I am finding the latest Tarantino efforts to be a tad boring on repeated viewings. I usually love them when I see them on cinema, but then abandon them half-way when I try to watch them at home. But this one passed the home test, so it gets my thumbs up!

Disquiet (João Botelho) - Squeezing in a Portuguese movie due for national pride reasons. Not that I care much about those things. But I believe more people should watch this movie. The dialogue is lifted from my favorite poetry book, written by Fernando Pessoa. Heavy, dark, contemplative narrative.

Baraka (Ron Fricke) - There is a particular documentary style associated with both Ron Fricke and Godfrey Reggio that I find very appealing. Visual snapshots of people in their homelands. The silent contrast between traditional and modern. And the omnipresent feeling that all life is meaningless and mankind is a just a random occasion on a ball floating in space. Baraka is the best of all.

Rashomon (Akira Kurosawa) - There is nothing in the World like Kurosawa’s samurai movies, and no better samurai than Toshiro Mifune. Rashomon rises above the other excellent Kurosawa movies by its symbolism and usage of light. A murder story told by four different characters. The truth is somewhere in between the lies.

Dogtooth (Yorgos Lanthimos) - A perverse tale of innocence and isolation.

Gomorra (Matteo Garrone) - Disturbing stories from Napoli’s crime underworld. Realistically shot, no sugar coating, no happy endings, no poetic criminals.

Kids (Larry Clark) - I had this one on VHS, a double feature that also included Trainspotting. Found memories attached to this movie, I saw the actors as a parallel to the kids in my street. Several of the participants in the movie are dead or living miserable lives nowadays. Just like the street kids from my youth.

A Woman Under the Influence (John Cassavetes) - It is not easy to get into this director. And this is a psychological scarring movie. The audience is led to descend into madness like its main character.

Down by Law (Jim Jarmusch) - “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.”

Daisies (Vera Chytilová) - My most popular post for some reason. An excellent, imaginative, innovative, playful, senseless fun movie to watch.

Taste of Cherry (Abbas Kiarostami) - A man’s quest to end his life. The ultimate taboo.

Black Orpheus (Marcel Camus) - Greek Mythology meets Brazilian Slum. A wonderful, poetic ending makes up for some dull parts in between. Excellent soundtrack!

The Cabinet of Dr Caligari (Robert Wiene) - Insane expressionist film with lovely painted backdrops that add a sense of depth and misdirection to its scenes. Timeless movie experience!

Amélie (Jean-Pierre Jeunet) - Modern Fairy tale. Inspirational. Makes me want to enjoy life more.

Oldboy (Park Chan-Wook) - Part of the Vengeance trilogy, I picked Oldboy because I now realize that I haven’t seen Sympathy for Lady Vengeance again ever since I started this Tumblr. Both films are excellent tales of twisted revenge. Oldboy’s fight scene has inspired a generation of copycats.

Spring Summer Fall Winter... And Spring (Kim Ki-duk) - Episodes of the life of a Buddhist monk, from childhood to old age. The wheel of life and rebirth. As Buddhist as it gets.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Terry Gilliam) - This got me into Hunter Thompson. There’s no such thing as too much drugs.

Battle Royale (Kinji Fukasaku) - A high school class is taken to a remote island and instructed to kill each other until only one survives. Classic 80′s video game plot, tickles the nostalgia bone just right without resolving to remakes and rehashes. Incredibly fun!

House (Nobuhiko Ôbayashi) - A horror movie, a comedy, a fever dream, an art-house lysergic extravaganza. Don’t know what to make of this movie, just that watching it is an amusing experience.

Band of Outsiders (Jean-Luc Godard) - I love all Anna Karina’s movies with Godard, so it’s hard to pick one. I went with Band of Outsiders because of its dance sequence. Godard had fun while experimenting with filming techniques, and this feeling is contagious to the audience.

Thanks for reading and sticking around.

#50 movies #yay me #movie recommendation

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nozomijoestar · 7 years

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Review of Your Name (君の名は)

This review will contain spoilers so please do not read if you plan on going to see this movie and do not want any part of the experience ruined.

I have three major gripes with this film that is otherwise excellently sound and worthy of all its praise (as are many Makoto Shinkai works). I’ll address these first then go on to the rest of the movie from sound design, to animation, to voice acting (please note I have only seen the English dub in theaters so this is the only performance I can draw from). I’d like to add that this is one of those films I highly recommend watching in a movie theater. The sense of atmosphere and scale is improved upon by the size of a theater’s capabilities.

1. The Opening Sequence at the beginning should have been omitted entirely.

Not only was it rather jarring to see an OP in the style of an animated TV show in something like a feature film, it was also a giant guarantee that Mitsuha will survive the events of the comet that originally did kill her. Looking back on that sequence the longer one progresses through the movie, all the excellently mounting and central tension around whether or not Itomori and in turn Mitsuha can be saved is ruined by her adulthood appearance already being shown to the viewer within the first two to three minutes of the first shots. This drags down some of the enjoyability of trying to resolve the main conflict and makes Taki’s actions and the lengths he went to save her and everyone fall rather flat knowing from the get go that he will succeed. See, if this were a clearly not as ambitious title as one of my other favorite series Girls und Panzer- I would be willing to forgive this and enjoy the ride rather than most of the set up. However here in a film that both sells itself and thrives in setting serious, believable tone and atmosphere that is clearly trying to achieve more than placing some great set pieces and decently entertaining characters, I’m going to expect it to try harder to keep us on the edge of our seats and guessing. While this wasn’t a factor that killed the entire movie for me outright, it was definitely a damper and something I’m going to have to detract points from.

2. Many of the insert songs (not the original composed pieces) were overused as to be annoying and forgettable with the exception of the final credits song

One of the other few things that bugged me constantly throughout the movie and which at times broke my immersion to focus more on that problem than a scene was the music placement. Instead of mostly using appropriate pieces to strengthen a scene (something Shinkai did better in his 2007 film 5 Centimeters Per Second), full length pop like music with matching lyrics was used; its vocals not only detracting from the built emotion scene by scene that was sufficient to stand on its own, but ruining some of that built tone by clashing it’s own different musical tone to instead work against a scene rather than help its impact. Thankfully, all four of these songs themselves at least are not repeated throughout the entirety of the film, but the moments where they are definitely make themselves noticeable.

3. The explanation for why Mitsuha and Taki switch bodies while nicely implied on several occasions is never believably explained and can feel rather contrived

This was definitely one of the aspects of the film where the writing team’s frustrations at making one of their key elements feel fleshed out was palpable. The way I understood it, you can take the explanation for why these two are able to take each others place three ways. Three ways that very heavily tie into each other as to feel like each one is supposed to cover the other ones ass if it falls short simply due to how similar in theme they are. Mitsuha and Taki can switch bodies because of the following:

Mitsuha’s family having the closest tie to the god who’s shrine they upkeep, therefore when she wished for a different life the deity indulged her especially accounting for how difficult her life had been and how victimized she was by her classmates

The event of the comet was also tied to the god and divine forces in general, perhaps the work of a god who opposed the shrine god Mitsuha’s family served as the name of the comet Tiamat is the name of a god of primordial destruction in Mesopotamian lore. This god could have sent the meteor to Itomori to destroy it as an act against it’s own god- who then uses the switching of Mitsuha’s body with Taki three years in the future as a way to get someone to prevent Itomori’s destruction through the body of one of its shrine caretakers and also in turn bring fated lovers together (if this was all the case though the god could have simply counterattacked and prevented the meteor from falling outright thus canceling the whole movie though this can be argued against on reasonable grounds that the Itomori god is not strong enough to fight a greater god such as Tiamat as it only controls a town)

Because Mitsuha’s family is directly responsible for taking care of the town god and have been doing so for countless generations, they have simply been granted the ability to randomly switch bodies with someone they desire to for a limited period of time (likely until either they or the other person die as the link between Taki and Mitsuha is initially severed upon her death in the original timeline) and can pass this ability best if the mother of a child in their family is a Miyamizu (since both Mitsuha’s mother and grandmother have done this at earlier points in their lives), thus Mitsuha is just awakening her ability after wishing desperately to be someone else however it all happened to coincide with the Tiamat Comet though the two aren’t necessarily related

That all being said, again, these three things are only implied at best, and neither lead to a single compelling explanation and instead serve to pull the reasoning in more offshooting and conflicting directions than it helps to create a unifying believable cause (ironic given that one of the central themes of the story is the idea of unity which otherwise is wonderfully done)

This concludes my main gripes

From here on out I’ll cover the film from a technical perspective

The sound design is excellent, accurate, and properly implemented and does wonders to increase immersion and bring the setting to life. The world feels familiar, vibrant and alive. Every train grinding on the tracks, every text bloop and bleep, every rustle of leaves and doors opening or shutting is as intense as it can be subtle. These audible cues combined with stunning, gorgeous, and masterful visuals combine to form a presentation that absolutely grabs hold of the viewers attention and refuses to let go in a delightful way. You’re in the countryside or in the heart of Tokyo and you stay there, something that also brilliantly highlights the differences and similarities to Taki and Mitsuha’s contrasting environments; while greatly strengthening how they react when thrown into these opposing types of setting. Expert use of various camera angles in addition to these factors further heightens the impact on the senses; doing an amazing job of displaying shifting senses of scale, character emotion, and aiding in location transitioning (such as the ever present shots of doors being opened from a floor level view that not only bring a sense of mystery to each transition in this manner but are aesthetically pleasing and contribute to setting a location’s tone for the following scene taking place in it by adding various degrees of urgency that is applied to how the door is opened).

Setting is in fact a great segway into characters, as the almost otherworldly portrayal of the world with how crisp it is in addition to the fantastical/supernatural element of the plot serve to make the realistic and grounded characters stand out. The characters themselves, from our two protagonists to the minor players are all believable, carrying familiar human struggles, wants, and needs despite and in response to the impossible things that happen to them. I would actually wholly enjoy a spinoff feature with characters like Teshi and Saya or even Mitsuha’s dad or grandmother in her youth taking center stage after seeing how well they were put together in this film. Taki and Mitsuha’s curiosity and panic upon first switching immediately felt both relatable and entertaining (I’d touch my own dong to make sure it was actually real after suddenly waking up in a stranger’s body the same way I’d touch the titties if I were a man switching suddenly into a girl’s body too- my mom and I had many laughs over this one) They struggled not only with being thrust suddenly into alien environments but also in everything from how to use pronouns, to communicating with their opposite’s friends and family members, to adapting with what was given to them on such short notice (or even taking advantage of it in the way Mitsuha first abuses Taki’s paycheck to eat the sweets she never had at the first real cafe she’d ever seen). Their method of communicating with each other too progresses in a realistic way, going from rushed and sloppy scribbling on each others bodies as memos- to leaving thought out reports on their phones the longer they grow familiar with their situation. It’s this careful and lifelike handling of their back and forth conversations over the slightest action before they’ve even met that makes the bond they eventually form viable and tangible. It expertly builds and mounts the suspense the viewer holds in wanting them to finally meet face to face. And when they finally do, especially after the revelation of being two people at different points in time (something that also eliminates the solution of simply being able to call each other and something they both try to no avail because you can’t call someone three years apart from you) it’s a massive relief and honest joy. The rat race and desperate struggle Taki went through while using his memories as Mitsuha in order to save her; and her eager hope to find and impress the guy who in a way gave her the life she always wanted met head on and bleed through the full weight of their emotions not only for the people and experiences they’d had while switching and for themselves, but also each other. Their gradual friendship then love solidifies itself in the sacrifices and risks they are willing take for each other- having come as a result of making small talk via their reports, doing each other favors via interactions with the other characters who are unique to either of them, and resonating with the resulting thrill being someone else gave them. In switching places, they grew to have each others backs in daily life, which realistically built the trust between them that opens up and evolves into a truly believable and lasting connection between two people who understand each other and genuinely should be together (which is more and beyond what I can say for 99% of any romance or even friendship I’ve ever seen).

As I have only seen the English dub, this is one of the extremely rare dubs I’ve listened to where I feel the dubbed acting was solid, pleasant, and helped convey the character’s personalities and shifting emotions as much as I imagine its native language did. Of note, I believe Stephanie Sheh’s performance as Mitsuha was the best portrayal of her entire career to date that I’ve heard. None of the characters felt wildly off thanks to the charming and professional performances of their respective VAs, again even with the minor characters.

In conclusion, I overall loved every possible aspect of Makoto Shinkai’s “Your Name”; even with things I found to be flaws. I was absolutely captivated and spellbound the entire time I watched. I didn’t even touch my candy or much of my water after the first seven minutes and onward. The one time I desperately had to pee I felt horrible for having to break away for even a moment out of the theater and away from watching the movie. I literally ran to and from the bathroom to miss as little as possible; and as the movie progressed I would even tap my mom in excitement and cheered for the protagonists in hushed whispers. My mom and I initially went in thinking we were going to get something akin to an anime version of Freaky Friday based on the plot premise. We were not only thoroughly shocked and impressed, but my mom considers it to be one of her favorite all time movies now- and for damn good reason.

“Your Name” gets a must watch recommendation from me. You’d be doing yourself a disservice not to see it just once even if you walk away not liking or falling in love with it. Especially given how accessible it currently is in US theaters, go see it before it completes its Stateside run!

#your name #what a wonderful experience from beginning to end

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justbeingbrookee · 7 years

Text

I JUST WANT TO DO IT PT.5

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

Can also read on AO3

Word count: 6,840

Warning: Graphic sexual content.

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5.32 am

What makes a man fall in love? Jimin had pondered this; early in the morning. Why does that person capture your heart when others have failed to? He slowly lowers his gaze to the person laying on his lap. You. How is it possible to care and feel the need to protect someone so strongly? How seeing them smile and laugh warms your heart up so much. How is this possible? How are these kind of feelings real?

You turn in your sleep and Jimin stiffens.

How can someone be so beautiful even in their sleep? He lightly traces his index finger down your forehead, past the bridge of your nose and onto your lips. His fingers hovers there, perplexed by the stunning view. Even though he has felt the tenderness of those lips and has roughed them up with his sensual bites, just looking, feeling and memorising this sight feels like utopia to him. Just then Jimin catches himself. Is….Is this what falling in love feels like? Cherishing the little parts and moments of your significant other, wanting to see and know everything about them. The good and the bad. Just…Everything.

Jimin lowers his head whilst gently brushing your hair with his left hand and presses his mouth ever so softly onto your forehead. “__, I…I think I love you,” he whispers in your ear. You scrunch your nose and turn again. Jimin is frozen in place.

“__, are you awake,” he whispers again. Shit, did you hear me? His eyes bulge out and you snuggle closer to him, still fast asleep.

He lets out a quiet breath of relief.

Relieved Jimin leans back, closes his eyes and calls for sleep to come again.

9.54 am

You stir awake, slowly opening your eyes to find you have a banging headache. Ahh, why did I drink last night, you sigh to yourself. You blink a few more times familiarising yourself with the view. You see a TV, coffee table.

Am I in the living room? You moan at the hardness of your pillow. Is this even a pillow? You question looking up….’Jimin’ you almost yell but luckily catch yourself with your hands.

Flashbacks of last night sip back into your conciseness. Your arms pressed above your head in his tight grip. His lips ravaging your neck, mouth….The heat between your legs yearning to be played with. The fumbling of your keys on the door. Breathing heavily in each other’s embrace.

“Why do I feel like this?” you said as he pushed you on the sofa and pressed his body over you and you could feel it…IT. Growing with each caress, each embrace and each moan through your deep kiss. You had never wanted anyone as much as in that moment. You wanted him to ravage you, to carry you to the bed and devour you senselessly and finally make you a woman. You wanted him to rip your clothes off and fuck you like no one has literally ever done before.

“I should get going,” he had breathed in with his face buried in your hair.

“No, stay the night, just hold me…please,” you had pleaded. Realising that what you really needed more than anything else right now was to feel him near you, to hear his heart beat return to normal and for the last thing you hear and see before your eyes slowly close to be Jimin’s. Just for one night, you didn’t want to sleep alone. Just one night, you had told yourself.

“What are you looking at?” He smiles that beautiful smile of his that reaches his eyes as he opened them and catches you starring.

“Huh, what?” you stumble almost falling off his lap and landing on the floor. “Ahh,” you yell and a pair of strong arms urgently wrap around you and he drags you up into his arms and holds you firmly against his chest.

You look up puzzled at his overreaction.

“I can’t breathe,” you try to push him away. But he wraps his arms around you tighter. “I never knew you were so danger prone, how have you survived so far without me?”

“Danger prone, me?” You manage to say between his tight hold on you.

“Yupp, do I need to remind you of our first meeting?” He laughs finally letting you go.

“That….that was *sigh* it was once and I am not dangerous prone,” you respond crossing your arms and pouting.

But that just makes him laugh even more.

“I also never knew how easy it was to get you riled up,” he leans in and you instantly stop breathing.

He quickly gives you a peck on the lips.

And your heart explodes.

“I have missed those lips,” he says cockily, tilting his head to the side. A loud squeak escapes you and you attempt to move away. But this only results in lighting a fire in his eyes and he leans into you and kisses both your cheeks.

“Stop,” you playfully shout but he doesn’t listen and you lean back into the sofa and he plants kisses all over your face. “It tickles,” you giggle. Enjoying this way too much to fight it anymore.

----------

You let yourself go, you let yourself be free and enjoy the little moments with Jimin and Jungkook. Pushing away the guilt that tries to surface every time you are with each of the boys. You want to choose one or the other but you can’t. You had tried to do the right thing but that only resulted in hurting all three of you so you have now accepted this twisted fate that you are selfishly dating two wonderful guys at the same time.

And the time flies by….

Jungkook keeps to his promise and takes you out to the movies for a do over first date. That little shit Jeon Jungkook decided that it would be appropriate to watch a horror movie which left you burrowed in his arm the whole time because it was so scary. You swear you wanted to kill him whilst you were walking home but his adorable bunny smile kept you at bay.

“You know, you are a little shit right, who goes to see a horror movie on their first date.”

“It wasn’t too bad, at least there was some romance,” Jungkook had countered with a cheeky smile plastered on his face.

“What kind of romance is that, HIS TONGUE CAME OUT AND ATE HER WHILST THEY WERE KISSING,” you yell, bewildered.

But this causes him to smirk harder, grab your wrist and pull you into him.

“Like this,” he whispers placing his mouth and tongue into yours. You are momentarily taken aback, responding to his soft lips and playing with his tongue in your mouth but then visions of the film appear at the back of your eyelids and you push him away.

“Nope, you ruined it, Jungkook. I can’t even kiss you anymore,” you say moving away.

“hmm,” he wraps his arms around you and kisses you on the nape of your neck. “Even this,” he whispers seductively. You both discover then that that is a weak spot for you.

You gulp loudly and don’t respond.

He kisses the nape of your neck again but this time more sexually, intensely that your knees buckle and you stop moving.

Fuck!

“Do you want to take my virginity right now, Jungkook?” You manage to say in your hazy horny filled mind.

He steps back instantly and raises his hands. “I will behave, I will behave but you make it so hard.”

“No, you make it so hard for me, Jungkook,” you stare up at him batting your eyelashes.

“No, you make it so hard,” he repeats back to you biting his bottom lip.

You let out a laugh then. “So, are we this kind of couple, so cheesy,” you shake your head laughing.

Jungkook face suddenly gets serious and he puts his hands down and looks straight into your eyes.

“Are we a couple?” He asks solemnly. He was planning on waiting a while, maybe after a few more dates before asking her out but now that the words had come out of her mouth clear as day. As macho as that sounded. He didn’t want to wait any longer. In fact he wanted it to be known to the world that this was his woman that she was taken by him. But most importantly he wanted to make her happy, to see her blush when he held her hand and caressed it with his finger. He wanted to make memories together with her, day by day discovering new things about each other.

“I mean I want to be, but if it’s too early for you it’s fine wit....” he starts rumbling and you cut him off.

“Okay,” you say and place your hand over your face shyly. “Okay,” you repeat and Jungkook slowly, still unsure of the words that just came out of your mouth. Reaches for your face, smiling like a joyful child opening presents on Christmas day.

“Okay,” he mouths before placing his lips onto yours and embracing you until your heart is glee with an unattainable joy.

------------

Days quickly turn into weeks.

The busy tax season finally comes to an end and you start to feel as though you can breathe again. Jungkook had been the best, during most lunch hours except for the few occasions where he was out of the city for business meetings or an issue had occurred at work he had waited outside your building to take you out for lunch. He had such a peculiar taste in food. He liked all types of food, Japanese, Mexican, Italian, Mediterranean and so much more. So you had tried it all and had thoroughly enjoyed yourself. That was one thing you liked about him, he has opened your eyes to so many new experiences that one can never fully appreciate by reading a book or through a TV screen.

The same could be said with Jimin who had taken you out to a variety of places out of city, beautiful sceneries he had used as a basis for his games as an environmental concept artist. Sometimes you felt your eyes were going implode due to the excessive amount of beauty from the scenery and Jimin himself. You are still not over the fact that a person can be as attractive as he is. He has dyed his hair blond now, which doesn’t really help matters at all but just makes it worse. Especially when he runs his hand through his silky blond hair.

“Can you stop that,” you had said flushed one night when Jimin had run his hands through his hair.

He looks up at you and smiles, that innocent smile that reaches his eyes.

“And that too,” you say.

“Why?” He feigns innocence.

“You know why, Jimin,” you smile at his cuteness and take a bite.

“Hm, this is good, you made this yourself?” you ask taking another bite. And let the food melt in your mouth. It tasted so delicious.

“I told you I would cook for you, do you really like it?”

“Yes, it’s delicious, I think this should become a permanent arrangement,” you giggle still in awe of the food. Your cooking skills are not exactly amazing. You think imagining the soggy sandwich still in your bag.

“I like the sound of that,” he says taking a bite.

That was the first time Jimin had surprised you and sporadically asked you to come up to his apartment after work. You were so tired you had bought a soggy sandwich and concluded that that would be your dinner for today.

But then he had opened his door and a beautiful aroma of mouth-watering smells had attacked you.

“Have you had diner?” He had asked with a wide grin on his face and an apron around his waist. You had responded with a no and thus was now in his gorgeous apartment. It was the same size and layout as yours but much different. Much manlier with leather black sofa’s in the living room. Grey and black décor filling the rooms. Sports posters on the walls and electronics spread-out everywhere.

After eating Jimin had collected the plates and had placed them into the dish washer. You had snuggled onto his comfortable sofa whilst watching some TV. Which you both weren’t paying much attention too, very much distracted by each other. You mostly just talked, Jimin asked you so many questions about your life. But surprisingly you loved it. You loved talking about yourself. Telling him about the little things that occurred in your day. You had never had that before, it was always you who listened to other people’s stories about who knows what anymore. But he intently listened as if every word coming out of your mouth would change the world.

I guess these are the perks of relationships you had thought whilst Jimin told you about the new concept artist at his work place. You just snuggled closer to him, enjoying yourself more than what you thought was humanly possible.

---------

Three months had flown by…

Lalalala

“Hello, Oppa,” you answer the phone.

“Don’t, I don’t know you anymore, bye,” Jungkook responds. You start giggling over the phone.

“O-P-P-A why?” You tease him some more.

“I guess you don’t want to go bowling today.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry Op….Jungkook.”

“You better be, be ready in an hour, one hour not three,” he says trying to sound serious.

“I’m always on time, when have I ever been late?” You protest.

“Ha, that’s the biggest joke I have ever had, I’m hanging up, get ready.”

“Bye,” you end the call.

You check the time on your phone and find that it is 5.30pm. You begin to get ready, you put your hair in a ponytail, wear a plain white t-shirt with a little pocket on the chest and some comfortable tight fitting light blue jeans. You match that with the cute pair of black and white Nike air max Thea trainers you just bought that make your feet look extra tiny. You decide not to wear any make-up today. You are going bowling and you hate putting on make-up if you really don’t have too.

Lalalala

You check the phone screen and see ‘Big Sis’.

“Hello, my love,” you answer.

“Oh, someone sounds cheery today, did you finally get some,” she responds.

You start laughing. “Is that all you can think about, I’m hanging up.”

“Your ass better not, I need a distraction while I wait for Yoongi junior to be potty trained.”

“Eww, too much information and I don’t really have that much time, I’m about to go on a date with Jungkook.”

“Is that the really tall one?” She asks.

“Yupp, we are going bowling?”

She starts laughing “Girl, this man could be a millionaire and you are going bowling.”

“Don’t laugh, his really into active stuff which I think is cute, why do you think all these rich people go to Niagara falls or Victoria falls and sit at the edge of it or even jump off dangerous bridges?”

“Hmm, true, Yoongi never takes me out to anywhere exciting anymore, it’s either for drinks or to the same shitty restaurant in this boring old town.”

“But you love it though?”

“Yeah, *sigh* I couldn’t be a city girl like you. Oh, did you shave down there?”

“Again, eww,” you cringe at your sisters personal questions.

“It has been what 3 or 4 months since you have started seeing these guys, every date from now on could lead to you know what?”

“No, no,” you say shaking your head.

“Are you ready?” She asks. You ponder the question for a minute. Are you really ready to lose your virginity? To finally be in on the secret that you feel everyone who has had sex knows. To finally join the sexually active crew.

“HELLS YES,” you shout excited.

“I’m ready, I’m a little bit scared but I want to know what it feels like.”

“Woah, slow down there __, sex is a very intimate thing, you know you will be naked in front of someone right.”

Shit!

“I hadn’t really thought of that?”

“They will see everything and you will see their everything, if you know what I mean.”

You scrunch your face “Are we really related? I have watched porn?” You try to defend yourself.

“It’s not the same, when you see it in front of you for the first time, oh my.”

“Why are you trying to scare me?” You cower in fear.

“I’m not but you know when you make out and you are kind of lost in the moment.”

“Yes!”

“Imagine that but amplified a hundred times that’s what sex will be like with the right person, you will be so lost in each other that everything is such a rush until you climax and then you start to see clearly again.”

“Wow that sounds hot.”

“Exactly, that’s why you better go back into that shower remove all hair from your neck downwards, wear matching bra and panties because you never know when it’s going happen since you are ready and they have probably been ready since they first met you.”

“Hm, you are right, okay, let me go and shower again.”

You do as your sister had advised and you hop back into the shower and then find a matching lilac lace bra and panties that you hadn’t worn before. You had liked how it looked so you had bought two pairs in different colours but hadn’t gotten around to wearing them yet. You sure waste a lot of money, you think to yourself.

Your phone vibrates.

18.14

Are you ready? [From Jungkook]

That feels like a double edged sword kind of question.

18.14

Almost, five more minutes? [You reply]

Five minutes turns into an extra 40 minutes for you to lotion, put your clothes back on, do your hair and leave the apartment.

-----

Jungkook is fidgeting in the car, turning up the car heating. No, it’s too hot. Lowering it back down. Tuning the radio from hip hop channels to classical music and then flipping to the main station unsure what will set the mood best. He doesn’t know why his feeling so nervous today.

He changes his station one more time and then he looks up.

Stunned by the view. His palms start to moisten as he watches you intently reach in your bag and turn the key to lock the building door. Hair up in a tight ponytail that flips as you turn around and you smile that smile that always makes him shy. He tries to hide it, in fact he is quite good at hiding how anxious you makes him. He stares at you again, happily walking towards him with a skip in your step. Boobs bouncing inside your white shirt, he notices and takes a deep breath. He can’t get too excited.

“Jungkookie, I’m sorry I’m late,” she speaks entering the car.

“Why am I even surprised anymore,” he composes himself.

“It won’t happen again, I promise,” you say and then kiss him on the cheek. He blushes immediately, heat rising where your lips had just touched. Jungkook gulps and tries his very best to cover up the fact that every touch, giggle, smile that you do sends him into a temporary turmoil.

You arrive at the bowling alley at 7.30pm but you find that the parking lot is deserted. Jungkook gets out of the car to check what is happening and then returns with the corners of his mouth facing downwards.

“Their closed for today, apparently a lot of the big bowling franchise unions have gone on strike,” he says climbing back into the car.

“Oh, erm, we can always come back another time, I guess,” you speak a bit disappointed as you were really looking forward to bowling with Jungkook today. You hadn’t done it in such a long time but bowling with your family when you were younger had always been one those cherished memories that you held deep in your heart. It would have been fun to create those fun memories with him today.

“Wait, let me check the nearest bowling place from here?” He mouths, looking at his phone. He looks so determent, unable to accept defeat. Why does his stern face look so hot right now, you bite your bottom lip and proceed to moving your body next to his and laying your head on his shoulder.

“What about this one?” He points.

“Closed, see,” you say rubbing your nose onto his neck and catching a whiff of a beautiful fragrance that makes your eyes roll back in pleasure.

“How about this, it’s a bit far though,” he notes.

“How long do you think it will take, with those miles?” You say looking back at his phone.

“40 or maybe 50 minutes, depending on the traffic?”

“Let’s do it? I want to bowl,” you giggle getting back to your seat and fastening the seat belt.

Jungkook just looks at you and smiles. “Okay, let’s do it.”

He reverses, sets the sat-nav and the car is off weaving past the nightlights of the city. The sat-nav woman tells you, you are almost there and that 20 minutes are left until you arrive at your destination. You play games with each other, laugh at his silly jokes as the car passes the street lights.

But then you are caught in a traffic jam, the car comes to a halt and what you thought was the remaining twenty minutes of your journey turns into an hour. You lean your head onto the window. Annoyed and exhausted at the situation you are in.

“I can’t believe this, we are so close, this stupid road is killing me,” you say.

You move two inches and then stop.

“There must be some road works or something,” Jungkook answers calmly.

You spot a bunch of school girls walking across the road.

“Do you think your parents would have allowed you out this late on a school night?” You ask, still watching them walk past laughing and joking with each other.

“Hm, I don’t know I was always a good child plus my mum would have just shouted ‘watch, I will tell your Dad when he gets here,’ which stopped being scary after the age of ten.” He speaks staring ahead.

“Your father wasn’t around much?” You press, wondering if that the right thing to do.

“He was a truck driver so he was away most times working so we could eat, go to school and just have a normal childhood but…but how can you have a normal childhood when your father isn’t around, when there’s no one to teach you how to catch a ball.” He starts to choke up.

“I’m sorry Jungkook, I didn’t mean to…” your sentence trails off and you reach for his hand with both of yours.

“Ha, I remember throwing tantrums, once I even went on a hunger strike, sadly it only lasted two hours because I was 12 but I wanted to have a normal family, to have both my parents sitting at the dining table. Sadly, at a young age I realised the power of money, I realised that without it, money could break families apart so I said when I grow up I wouldn’t let money rule me.”

“Says the guy dating an accountant,” you try to make him laugh.

“I like your determination too, I feel as though you wanted the same thing as me, you didn’t want to be in the choke hold of money,” He turns to look at you, waiting for an answer, reassurance maybe?

You just nod because you know his right, living in a small town, having your parents both working dead end jobs made you determined to not want to be like them. You were never driven by money, you don’t like designer stuff or the latest anything but you just wanted to able to buy a new pair of jeans without going into overdraft.

The car in front moves and Jungkook turns away from you.

But something he said is still bothering you so you say “What’s a normal family anyways, even if you have one parent, two parents and grand-parents raising you it doesn’t matter just as long as you have someone who loves you unconditionally. And that’s why your dad went to work on those long and boring journey’s because he loved his children more than anything in the world.”

“Come here,” Jungkook extends his arm out so you can snuggle yourself in there. Which you do willingly. Before he wraps his arm around you and kisses you on the forehead.

“What did I do to deserve you, huh?”

“I am still trying to figure that one out myself,” you reply and you feel him smile in the darkness of the car.

You spend a further 15 minutes slowly moving on that single lane road until you finally reach the exit and the car accelerates fast towards your destination.

At around 9pm you finally reach the bowling place. You find that it is located in a very small town practically in the middle of nowhere with hardly any cars going past or that many buildings in sight. This really must be the countryside.

You first find a small little family restaurant where you eat and have a good hearty meal. As you exit the restaurant you find that it has started to rain a little bit. But you ignore it and enter the bowling place and put on your bowling shoes.

“You’re going down,” you shout over the noise a little too excited.

He puts his thumbs down at you and you giggle.

Unfortunately, you end up losing to him, he didn’t even pretend to let you win, he gets very competitive when it comes to games. But you had so much fun and you made good memories today. It was worth the long journey to get here you think as you remove your bowling shoes and place your trainers back on.

“Are you from out of town?” The woman serving you asks. You nod your head and she gives you a weary look.

“I could tell by your fancy clothes, have you heard the news yet, our little town is on lockdown, their saying that there is a high risk of a natural disaster and are blocking cars from leaving.”

You gasp and Jungkook suddenly looks up at both of you.

“Wait, what,” he says getting out his phone and checking for confirmations. He slumps down after a minute of scrolling. “It’s true, we are trapped here until tomorrow.”

“See, did you come to visit some relatives?”

“No,” you respond deflated. Maybe that explains the traffic getting here.

“Well, we do have a golfing tournament in a few days so I’m not sure if you can get a room at the big hotels this late, you should try the love boat hotel, it’s always empty during sports tournaments, can you imagine those team members sharing a room in a place like that,” she laughs at her own joke. She is kind though, she gives you the address of the hotel.

Love boat hotel, Jungkook thinks to himself, this has got to be a joke. How in the world is he meant to spend a night with __ in the same hotel, one called ‘love boat hotel,’ for that matter and survive. It was hard enough in the car or in public places but in a room…together…alone…wait, wait, they should just get two separate rooms…that makes sense. He calms himself down.

“Sorry, but we only have one room left, the honeymoon suite, should I book you in?” The receptionist asks. Of course you only have one room left, Jungkook contemplates sleeping in the car for one second but then he looks over at you and sees you playing with your fingers nervously.

“I will sleep on the floor okay,” he says trying to comfort your nerves and covering your hand with his.

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK….. you internalise as you stand in silence in the elevator hand in hand with Jungkook. You can feel the tension. Even the security guard looking through the camera can feel the tension. FUCK!

He looks down at you and you bite your bottom lip. You know what’s going to happen next, his eyes give him away but it still takes you by surprise when he pounces on you. His mouth slamming onto yours and taking your breath away. You want to fight this urge but you can’t your body is craving this man, his hands, mouth, scent. It wants it all. He wraps his firm arms around you and lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and ruffle his hair in your hands as you kiss him back deeper, harder, hornier.

The elevator door opens and you somehow manage to stagger in fits of naughty giggles all the way to the door.

He fumbles with the card outside your room before the light turns green and you enter. The dimmed luminant lights comes on and you are both gobsmacked at the décor of the room. The large king sized bed covered in white duvets and red rose petals is the first thing that catches your eyes. Then the Champaign bottle placed on top of the table with two glasses on each side is the next thing you spot. You both enter still in his arms.

He lays you down onto the bed and you bring him in for another kiss. Afraid that if you let him go he will see the nervousness on your face.

“I want you,” you whisper attempting to lift his shirt from his back.

“I want you Jungkook,” you mouth between his soft lips making movements against yours. You have never told the truth of your heart more than now. You wanted Jungkook, you wanted him to take your virginity, now and in this moment. You couldn’t possibly wait any longer.

He leans back away from the kiss and pulls his shirt off. You almost choke on air. He stares at you with piercing eyes as if he wants to devour you right there and then. His body is perfect. Not that you didn’t know this already but it really is perfect. From his highly defined pecks to his chiselled 8 pack. You have never seen an 8 pack in real life before. Shit, you have never even seen a six pack before.

“Are you sure?” He breathes. Leaning into you and kissing you gently on the lips, reassuring, questioning his lips travel south to your neck, his tongue grazing your collarbone. You shiver. And roam your hands onto the flesh of his warm naked back.

His cold hands go under your shirt and you elongate your neck and arch your back. His touch, feeling his touch on your bare skin, up to your cleavage. Cupping your lace bra. Your body quivers. He lightly lifts you up and removes your shirt over your head. You all of a sudden feel vulnerable. As if you are baring your soul to him. You look up and witness something special, delicate in Jungkook’s eyes. As if his about to cry at the sight of your bare body. You unclip your bra at the back just to push him over the edge.

You stare back at him now half naked in nothing but a pair of jeans. “You look so fucking good,” he breathes. “Fuck me, you look so good,” he carries on licking his lips before shifting his gaze from your left breast to the right. Your breathing shallows.

You indicate for him to cum over with your index finger before licking it seductively. When the fuck did you get so brave.

He listens, dipping his head down onto your navel and licking his way up. His wet tongue feels warm on your body. The heat between your legs starts to tingle. He slowly moves up your body. His right hand finds your breast first. He kneads it in-between his fingers. “hmmhn,” you moan. That makes him play with them more, finally landing his mouth over your hardened nipple. Your sex is about to explode when his tongue makes sensual circles around your hardened nipple. Your mouth wide open you gasp for air as the pleasure overcomes you. “Why does this feel so fucking good Jungkook,” you whisper through the pleasure coming from his mouth. He switches his mouth to the other breast and you almost lose it.

Then he stops. It takes you a while to realise that he has stopped but when you do, you look down and find him smirking. Too excited in the pain and pleasure he is causing you.

“Why….” You are about to ask but he grabs your hips and pulls you further down the bed.

“This is my present,” he mouths grabbing your legs and lifting them into the air wide apart. You are lost for words and he places a hand onto your sex and starts to rub there gently at first. Over the jeans.

“I want to open you up slowly,” he mouths again releasing your legs and placing his mouth onto your sex over your jeans. You’re dumbfounded that his doing this through the jeans but it turns you on. It makes you wet. Wet for him. And he sucks on the fabric of your jeans.

He undoes your button and pulls down your zip with an urgency. Then he rolls down your jeans slowly placing kisses down your thigh. You help to remove the jeans and then you realise you are only wearing a pair of knickers. One more layer and you will be stack naked in front of him.

He rubs his knuckles onto your sex and you lean back and arch your back. Your eyes roll back when he moves your panties to the side as his fingers finally make contact with the flesh of your pussy. “Ahmm,” a quiet moan escapes. And his fingers rub against you. He rubs your clit and you forget how to breathe. It’s so sensitive, delicate and his playing with it with such content.

Lick!

You explode inside. He licks you again on your sensitive area. “Jung….” You try to cry out but fail as he starts sucking in your juices. “You’re so fucking wet, I love it.” He slurps around your pussy before roaming his index finger over your entrance.

He slowly places it in and all your sensations go into overdrive. He has entered you. Another finger apart from yours has entered you. You let out another quiet moan and he places a second finger in slowly, testing, entering and exiting your entrance. “Ah, fuck, ___ this sight is so fucking beautiful, watching you moan, shit.” He grabs the front of his pants.

“I want to see it,” You notice, still being filled up by his two fingers. He slowly removes them and gets off the bed before dropping both his trousers and boxers down.

Your mouth drops.

So that’s what it looks like, why is it so big and pink. And bulging. You try to look away but fail. It calls for your attention. He steps closer to you and you unintentionally move away.

He pouts and places his hand over his thick dick. Caressing it. “Look how hard you made me, this is what you always do to me,” he stands there rubbing his own penis confidently.

He looks so fucking hot right now, majestic even. You want to touch it too, you think. Imagining how he would feel inside of you.

You move closer to the edge of the bed, close to him, It. He smiles at you. And you drop your gaze and touch it. It feels smooth and soft, you move your hand up and down as he had done. He looks up and rolls his eyes back. You smile at that. Surprised that you enjoy making him happy. Pleasing him gives you greater pleasure. You move closer grabbing him with both hands and moving up and down his manhood. “Fuck, yes, just like that,” he moans. Holding him tight in between your hands, throbbing, leaking you carry on until the fascination overcomes you. You want to taste him. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, you want to taste him in your mouth. To finally know how he tastes like.

You kneel down on the floor and look up at him, he faces you now. His gaze locked onto yours. You place your tongue onto his head still staring at him. You lick him again this time for longer, making circles around him before wrapping your entire mouth around him.

He closes his eyes and you lose his gaze. His hazel eyes disappear into the back of his eye lids. You suck him, tasting him, finally tasting him. You move your mouth deeper on his cock. “Ah, baby it…” you go even deeper, gagging for the first time when he scrapes the back of your throat.

He moans louder and you fight your reflexes and go deeper. Feeling him further inside you. “Stop, please,” he moans holding your shoulders in place and moving them back. You pout. You were beginning to get the hang of it.

He lifts you up with ease back onto the bed and quickly rubs your sex with his three fingers. “That made you wet, didn’t it?” He smirks leaning in to kiss you and rubbing both your breasts with his thumbs. New pleasurable sensations escape you.

And he moves his lips away leaning over the bed dresser and grabbing a thin foil wrapper. “I guess it’s a good thing we got a honeymoon suite,” you force a giggle getting nervous now as you watch him place the rubber onto his manhood. It slides on with ease and your heart beat accelerates. It’s about to happen, you go into overdrive.

“Are you sure?” He asks again when his ready and you nod leaning back on your back legs spread ready to feel all of Jungkook inside of you. He kisses your forehead and then slowly rubs his penis onto your sex.

You take a deep breath and he slowly and gently enters you, your body expands to meet his size. It starts to hurt, not painful but you feel the stretch. He carries on gently moving into you before placing himself over you balanced by his muscular arms.

He moves out with the same speed and you feel the pain again and he enters you, repeating himself whilst simultaneously increasing the speed. You hold your breath each time he enters you. And then hurriedly bring him in for a kiss when he pumps into you fast. Your body feels as though it’s about to explode.

He pumps into you again.

You pulls him into a hug, wrapping your arms his body for balance as he enters you fast, urgently. “You feel so good,” he moans. “Fuck, fuck, so tight,” he moans again picking up momentum as you take the pain. Feeling him inside of you. You hold onto him tighter, eyes shut as you feel him enter and leave you. “Ahh, I’m about…fuck!” And he quickly pulls out of you and you see him explode inside the clear wrapper.

You relax your head on the bed and he collapses next to you after disposing of the used wrapper. “You were so fucking amazing,” he breathes in the darkness. You can still feel the pain in between your legs. “So were you,” you lie.

“Let me freshen up,” you manage to say heading to the bathroom. You sit on the toilet and see spots of blood. Your hymen was broken during sex. You are still dazed at what just occurred. You can’t believe that you have finally lost your virginity. But you didn’t orgasm like he did you think to yourself. Maybe it was the nerves of it all, the fact that it was your first time having sex and the feeling of the pain. Next time, you will probably reach your climax because you will be familiar with the situation.

You finish cleaning yourself up and return to the bed. Jungkook heads to the bathroom and then returns. When he returns he covers you with his arms and you spoon. You relax in his arms feeling the comfort and security that they bring. You are glad you finally lost your virginity to this man.

He falls asleep first, his arms still tight around you but you can’t sleep, you can’t stop imagining the things that transpired a while ago, the things you did, the things he did. The way he made you feel, so vulnerable, wanted, desired all at once.

And you wanted more, so much more.

-------

End Comments - You have finally lost your virginity, lol. Somehow it feels like Pandora's box has just been opened and now the games shall truly begin. Again, thank you for reading this far. I am so grateful :) [NEXT CHAPTER]

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