#the amount of mistakes i got for my speech really make sense lol i should really prepare more in advance! procrastination is my enemy

[falcqns]

Hi, first of all i love your work 💕 and second, I wanted to request a Chris Evans angsty to fluff one shot? Where he is much older than the reader (she’s in her early 20s) and they have confessed their attraction for each other but are not sure how to proceed, nothing much happens during the confession. But the next day there’s an event or party where both attend separately, during it they stare at each other from across the room but suddenly Chris is crowded mostly by women much older than you and they flirt with him, and he sees you getting sad and insecure about your feelings and about his feelings too and obviously your age, so maybe you run off somewhere else and he decides to follow and then reassures you he likes you, then it’s all fluff? Maybe with a kiss at the end?🥺 thank uuuu!! I hope you’re having a nice day💓

Age Gap

pairing: chris evans x younger!reader

warnings: age gap, fluff, angst, insinuations to smut, hannah montana reference lmao

a/n: thank you for the request and i hope you enjoy! also i wrote this on my phone so i apologize for any mistakes lol

being 21 and having a crush on a 39 year old was tough.

finding out that that 39 year old felt the same was even tougher.

when you got the chance to audition with him for his new movie, Deep Silence, you jumped at it. just getting to be in a room with him blew your mind, but when your agent called you and told you you got a role, you were ecstatic.

you had originally auditioned for the role of Emma Garner, Chris’s characters daughter, but he decided you were perfect for the role of his characters wife, Francesca Garner instead.

you had no idea why. you were barely 21, and he was 19 years older than you. it would make so much more sense for you to play his daughter, but you accepted the role of his wife nonetheless.

at least now you won’t have to watch your crush kiss another girl, something that was all too familiar in high school.

when you two had your first love scene, you were terrified. how were you going to keep the fact that you were incredibly attracted to your co star a secret while acting out something that is so private?

you had a suspicion that he felt the same during filming, when he’d purposely ground his hard on into your centre and rasped into you ear “if you liked that”, but he ran away to his trailer before you could ask him about it.

you thought he was finally going to talk to you about it when he approached you a few days later, but he ended up just asking if you wanted to go to disneyland with him and Scott and his boyfriend, to which you accepted.

the day was fun, with the four of you taking lots of photos, going on lists of rides, eating lots of food (that ultimately made Scott throw up after one two many churros and and a ride on Seven Dwarves) and ended in you guys watching Happily Ever After. About halfway through, Chris pulled you into his arms, and pressed his lips to yours.

as soon as he kissed you, all the background noise faded away, and the two of you stood there like teenagers making out for the rest of the show.

when that happened, you thought for sure that he’d finally ask you out. you’d ask him out, but that seemed insanely intimidating, and you weren’t down for that at all. but, he didn’t make a move. other than kissing. he’d kiss you constantly, but it never progressed passed making out, and you were a little disappointed.

eventually, comic con came up, and you wouldn’t be attending with Chris, rather than the TV show you were a regular on. you had spotted him watching you in the crowd, thanks to your favourite actress who was also on the panel with you. you attended his as well, and even asked a question, as your movie hadn’t been announced yet, so people wouldn’t know you unless they watched your show.

then, the after party rolled around. you had messaged briefly, but hadn’t really spoken, something you were hoping to do tonight. you had reached your wits end, and just decided to man up and talk to him about where you two stood.

but, you couldn’t find him. you’d wandered around with your co stars and talked to a few directors and casting agents to get your name out there for future projects, but you couldn’t for the life of you locate Chris.

Until you got to the bar. you had just ordered your favourite drink, when you spotted him at the other end of the bar. but, he wasn’t alone. he was surrounded by five or six women who were definitely much older than you, and your heart sank.

it didn’t shatter, however, until you saw Chris flirting back. your eyes welled up with tears, and you tried to wipe them discreetly without Chris or anyone noticing, but of course that didn’t happen.

Chris was doing his best to ward off the ladies swarming him, so he could come and find you. he had been leading you on for too long, and he just needed to ask you out already, before another guy snatched you from his fingers.

suddenly, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and looked up, thinking it was Scott coming back with more food, but his heart dropped when he saw you. you were stood there, looking absolutely magnificent, but your eyes were full with tears, almost to the point of spilling over onto the cheeks he loved to kiss and hold in his hands so much.

he looked at the swarm of ladies that had formed around him, and swore, realizing what you were probably thinking.

he watched as you turned and stormed away, towards the door. he politely excused himself, and headed after you.

he followed you out the door he watched you disappear through, but his heart sank even lower when he realized you weren’t there. he was about to go back inside and ask your co stars for your room number, when he heard the tell tale signs of your sobs coming from a hidden alcove to his left.

he ran down the steps and over to the alcove, and his heart broke when he saw you. you were leaning against the wall, you head in your hands. loud sobs were escaping your mouth, and he knew for a fact you had an endless amount of tears running down your face, the saltiness of them probably already swelling your beautiful face up.

he wasted no time in coming over to you and wrapping you up tight in his arms. you tried to pull out of them, but he stood firm, and eventually you relaxed.

“i’m so sorry.” he whispered, and your sobs subsided. you shook your head and looked up at him.

“no. i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i was born in the wrong generation, because maybe then one of us would have the courage to ask the other out without fear of judgement. i’m sorry that i’m not as mature as those girls, or as talented. i’m sorry that i probably read into things like i always do and ruine-“ you began; but was cut off by Chris soft lips.

when he pulled away, he rested his forehead atop yours. “no. don’t. you’re perfect. so fuckin’ perfect it scares me sometimes. it absolutely terrifies the shit out of me how perfect you are because i don’t want to hurt you. you’re so young and innocent, and i love that about you. i don’t want to be the one to crush that innocence that i love so much by hurting you. but, i shouldn’t have let that hold me back. we’re both legal, so age is just a number. i should have told you that say i fuckin’ dry humped you on set.” he said, and you laughed at the last bit. “i love you so fuckin’ much, y/n, it honestly scares me. but being scared is good. it makes me human, and i’m not letting that hold me back from treating you the way you deserve to be treated. if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, i will spend the rest of our time together showing you just how much i love and appreciate you.” he said, and you looked up at him. “will you be my girlfriend?” he asked softly, and you nodded in happiness, your lips pressing to his.

Chris smiled into the slightly salty, but still loving kiss. he finally had you, and he wasn’t going to let you go. you were his whole world, and he was kicking himself for not realizing it sooner.

the two of you were currently walking hand in hand back to the venue, when you spoke up. “that was the sweetest speech. i’m not mad at you because of those girls. i realized shortly after that you wouldn’t do anything like that, but i thought maybe you’d realize that they were better than me, so that’s why i left.” you explained, and Chris tugged you in closer to his body.

“that makes me so happy, sweet girl. it was a mistake letting those girls do that and i should have stopped it sooner, but everybody makes mistakes.” he said.

you giggled before responding. “everybody has those days.” you said with the straightest face possible and Chris turned and stared at you for a second before realizing the reference.

“Hannah Montana? oh my god you’re so innocent,” he said, moaning the last few words into your ears, his hands gripping your waist to pull you against him.

you bit your lip and smiled. “i’m not completely innocent,” you said right back, and smiled in happiness when you felt him hardening against your stomach.

“mmm, really baby?” he moaned, and you nodded, before whispering in his ear.

“take me back to your hotel room and i’ll show you.”

#chris evans angst #chris evans #chris evans actor #chris evans imagine #chris evans x you #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x reader fluff #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 324: Is There a Force Field Around Him??

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal was all “please tell Midoriya that I spent a concerningly small amount of money upgrading U.A. into a wacky physics-defying funtime grid so as to make the final battle much more confusing for everyone.” Present Day!Mic (or Present!Mic, if you will) and Jeanist were all “if only somebody could deescalate this dangerously unhinged mob, we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas.” Ochako was all “LISTEN UP PEOPLE.” The mob was all, “god??” Ochako was all, “NO, IT’S ME, OCHAKO. I’M REALLY HIGH UP ON THIS BUILDING AND THE VISIBILITY IS LOW DUE TO THE RAIN, SO I CAN SEE HOW YOU MIGHT MAKE THAT MISTAKE. ANYWAYS, DEKU WAS OUT THERE RISKING HIS LIFE FOR YOU CLOWNS EVEN THOUGH HE’S JUST A KID, SO I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD ALL REMEMBER HOW TO BE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS, THANKS.” Let’s see if her Big Scolding Energy has any impact.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so I have this speech planned out, and it’s really good, but it also only really needs about 6 to 8 pages, but I’m gonna see if I can stretch it out to 17 pages so I can kill time before we get to the next volume cliffhanger two weeks from now.” Anyway but it really is a good speech though. There are feels, and tears, and more talk about how Deku is so in need of a shower that just looking at him requires a tetanus booster, and more feels, and more tears, and bonus ship drama, and an iconic callback to the very first chapter which reframes the entire series in a new context in a totally epic and moving way, and it’s all very good. Except that Horikoshi is determined to never let anyone actually give this kid a hug. Who hurt you, dude.

omg we are opening on a callback to chapter 212, a.k.a. the chapter with by far the cutest flashback that doesn’t involve any baby Todorokis

baby Ochako is lethally cute. she could literally murder someone with her cuteness. I just want to scoop her up and play airplane with her until she accidentally activates her quirk while we’re spinning around and we both helicopter up into the air never to be seen again

“a child’s insistence” huh well that’s all well and good, but I sure hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to drag out the whole “sternly lecture the obnoxious citizens” plot for another whole chapter. no offense but I think we’re good

so page 2 is just continuing the whole happy/worried faces monologue, which of course is very important to Ochako’s character as it provides the context for why “who protects the heroes” ended up becoming her thing. and this is making me think we actually are in for a whole second chapter of this sob. when will my boy finally get to rest

OH MY GOD SUDDENLY THESE PEOPLE HAVE EYES IMAGINE THAT

HORIKOSHI: [reaches for a box of tissues while tearfully penning an homage to his beloved Spider-Man 2, specifically the train scene where the crowd sees Peter without his mask and they suddenly realize just how young he is]

HORIKOSHI’S HOMAGE SCENE: “COME TO THINK OF IT, I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF MEAN FOR US TO PICK ON THIS TEN YEAR OLD KID WHO WEIGHS 75 POUNDS AND LOOKS LIKE HE LOST A FIGHT WITH SATAN’S MOLDY OLD BASEMENT”

lol at this one guy who can feel the mood of the crowd shifting and is all “WAIT, NO, I WANTED TO KEEP BEING AN ASSHOLE DAMMIT”

as many pointed out last week, this man is wearing an All Might shirt. that’s some fantastic irony there

-- SDKFJWIGKS

“LITTLE GIRL, I HOPE YOU’RE NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE WALKING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A SOVIET-ERA BUS STOP.” heh. last week I said I was ashamed of BnHA being my favorite manga. that was a lie, actually

(ETA: in the original Japanese Ochako’s next two lines are basically “the only ones covered in mud will be us heroes!” followed by “please give us some time to get rid of the mud”, with that second line basically being the single funniest thing I’ve ever read rdslkjl. Ochako thank you so much for supporting my running gags. “YEAH WE KNOW HE’S DIRTY. WE ARE GONNA TRY AND CLEAN HIM UP, BUT IT MAY TAKE A WHILE, I’M JUST SAYING. I MEAN LOOK AT HIM. HE LOOKS LIKE AN ASBESTOS COSPLAY.”)

doesn’t the megaphone kind of look ever so slightly like an axe that she’s wielding maniacally here

easy there Lizzie Borden

also that’s a really bold claim to make there. and not one she necessarily should have to make, either. but as we all know, there’s nothing that shounen manga likes more than having its heroes bravely hoist heavy burdens of responsibility like good self-sacrificing citizens

p.s. lowkey loving how Kacchan is positioned here standing slightly behind Deku. not presuming to stand in front of him all overprotectively (because he would hate if anyone ever did that to him), and kind of being unobtrusive and letting others take center stage -- but still being close enough to Deku that he can catch him if he stumbles or passes out again

(ETA: or maybe not lmao.

DEKU: [falls to his knees]

KACCHAN: [glancing up from his phone a few minutes later] “someone just sent me the stupidest meme about milk crates -- oh. uh. you good...?”

really, son. “the burdens you can’t carry, we’ll carry them for you. ...later, I mean. right now it’s late, and we’re all cold and wet.”)

also lowkey loving this OchaTsu moment here

I was going back and binging Ochako chapters this past week for reasons, and I gotta say it really stuck out to me just how often these two are paired with each other. they do everything together. it’s a really sweet friendship that often goes unappreciated but it’s very cute

meanwhile, not to be outdone by the OchaTsu, Iida is staring at Ochako with open admiration talking about how she’s fighting too. it’s been so long since we’ve had any IidaRaka you guys. I was starving and I didn’t even know it

oh my lord IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING

THE LIGHT IS BACK. he finally looks like him again. what a cathartic fucking moment omg

ffklkdw

“I KNOW YOU ARE ALL SCARED, BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE DEFINITELY CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SAFETY AND WE ARE ALL SCARED TOO!” good pep talk there kiddo

BUT, jokes aside, truth be told this is the exact right approach to take imo, and something that’s long overdue. I’ve said this before, but this new generation of heroes is shaping up to be much more transparent than the All Might generation. they’re basically abandoning the almighty, untouchable Superman “heroes as gods” concept in favor of the more nuanced “heroes as people” concept instead. and that’s a good thing. seeing their heroes as humans, with human limitations and weaknesses and flaws, will hopefully not only lead to more scrutiny and accountability, but also more awareness of how hard some of them are working and how much they’re sacrificing. that’s something All Might never quite grasped back at the start of the series -- that the weak, vulnerable, injured him could be just as inspiring as the mighty, invincible him -- perhaps even more so. there’s a power in seeing otherwise ordinary people show extraordinary bravery and compassion. it inspires others to try and do the same

SSDLHK AIZAWA SIGHTING AAHHHHHH

so he was still back at the hospital this whole time?? smdh at this disrespect. that feeling when your sexy self-insert character’s powers of rationality are too strong, and so you have to nerf him so that he doesn’t ruin your Deku Angst arc twice over by (1) immediately talking some sense into Deku and making him come home Right This Instant Young Man, and (2) not allowing him to leave U.A. in the first fucking place. excuse me, you want to do WHAT now, Midoriya?? that’s it, go to your room

also living for Katsuki and Hawks’s soft expressions. Shouto’s too, although his is tinier and harder to see. and Jeanist’s 12-foot-long neck. imagine Jeanist’s head with Mic’s hair. maybe Jeanist had a mohawk back in the day and that’s why U.A.’s doors are so big now

speaking of soft faces, Enji’s is also excellent

what could this random close-up possibly imply?? hell if I know. but Horikoshi truly fears no discourse and that’s what I love about him

OMGGGG

“smh my child is so dumb.” poor Ochadad. your child is cute af count your blessings

SDOFFHSMH

I’m telling you guys. lethally, catastrophically cute

this speech is still ongoing lol. Horikoshi you’re doing so good but I think we get the point now my dude. you gotta learn how to transition out of these things

UNEXPECTED TOGA WHAT

“there we go” Horikoshi says, crossing off the last line on his list of Ochako ships. “that’s all of ‘em”

poor Ochako is just repeating the same “LET HIM REST, PLEASE, WITH EVERYONE’S COOPERATION, IF YOU DON’T MIND, WE APPRECIATE IT” talking points over and over again hoping someone will throw her a bone and acknowledge her already. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HER

literally they’re all just staring up at her silently omg. work with me people!!

now she’s saying it for the 56th time but more dramatically all of a sudden

they got so dramatic that for a minute I thought she had suddenly leaped off the building or something

look, not to rush you or anything Horikoshi, but I’m starting to get the feeling that this is yet another one of those “the volume is ending soon so I need to either hurry things up or slow things down in order to make sure we end it on my perfect cliffhanger ending” chapters where you go to ridiculous lengths to drag things out much to the exasperation of your week-to-week readers

(ETA: ftr, volume 31 ended on chapter 306, and I’m predicting that vol. 32 will end with chapter 316 (a.k.a. “you’re next!” [explodes]). I’m guessing vol. 33 will follow suit and likely end on chapter 326, so keep your eyes peeled for a big cliffhanger in two weeks’ time. Deku’s dad?? All Might in peril?? U.A. traitor at long fucking last?? we shall see.)

is Deku straight up falling in love with Ochako right on the spot lol what is happening

I know I just said that I enjoy when Horikoshi gives zero fucks about discourse, but shipping discourse is a whole different beast lol. I hope he’s prepared

(ETA: and for the record, I have no interest in shipping discourse either, as always. and I think this scene can be interpreted as platonic, tbh, with the context being that Ochako was literally introduced as someone who was willing to help him so casually without a second thought, and now here she is saving him again.

I don’t think it really fully hit Deku until this moment how much he needed saving. like I said in another meta somewhere, selflessness is basically just selfishness on behalf of others. and Deku is selfless to a fault, but that’s okay, and it doesn’t mean he needs to change -- he just needs friends who are willing to be be selfish on his behalf in turn. and I think the full emotion of what it means to have friends like that just hit him at last. everything his friends have done for him, how much he needed it and didn’t even realize, and how grateful he is. anyways what a terrible day for rain.)

-- son of a --

is he apologizing?? or pleading?? please tell me that’s not the case, because what the actual fuck. Deku you beautiful precious radiant selfless child, this is the exact opposite of how this should be. all these motherfuckers should be on their knees apologizing to you

DEKU WHY

I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS FREAKING BOMBARDMENT OF EMOTIONS GODDAMIT. OUT HERE ARMED WITH YOUR FREAKING TREBUCHET OF FEELS TO LAUNCH AT ME UNPROVOKED. WHAT’S WITH THAT

FREAKING CHRIST. THIS BOY IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT AND HORIKOSHI IS JUST ZOOMING IN WITH THE CAMERA, LIKE CAN WE JUST CUT HIM A BREAK ALREADY. ENOUGH OF THIS. HE’S SO YOUNG AND HE TRIES SO HARD AND I JUST NEED HIM TO FEEL SAFE, HORIKOSHI PLEASE CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT ALREADY WHAT IS THE FREAKING HOLD UP!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY!!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY PLEASE BE MY HUGGER BY PROXY!! SERIOUSLY GIRL IF YOU JUST HOLD YOUR UMBRELLA OVER HIM OR SOMETHING AND DON’T GO THE EXTRA MILE I’M ABOUT TO LODGE AN OFFICIAL COMPLAINT. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW

!!!!

A KOUTA IS GOOD TOO!!! oh my god if Kouta hugs him I will seriously 100% straight up cry. go on and test me

FOR THE LOVE OF --

is this man expressly forbidden from drawing hugs in his contract or something. DO YOU DO IT JUST TO SPITE ME?? this is tyranny, sir

AND I KNOW, THIS PAGE ACTUALLY CHALLENGED THE VERY PREMISE OF THE SERIES ITSELF, AND HERE I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT HUGS, OR THE LACK THEREOF. “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes.” and just like that, he waves a polite middle finger at all of the Strongest Greatest Chosen One shounen protags of old, in favor of something much less conventional, much more interesting, and much more suited to Deku’s character. because if that one sentence doesn’t just sum up Deku to a T. he gladly relinquishes his Greatest Hero status in favor of acknowledging the hero in everyone. what a class act. that’s my protagonist

I love this kid so fucking much I swear. only just PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. GIVE HIM HIS HUG

#bnha 324 #uraraka ochako #midoriya izuku #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[warmau]

love struck!au x tbz

find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez *this post was commissioned through kofi

sangyeon

confident sangyeon spends half the day flirting with you

then shy sangyeon spends the rest of the day running embarrassment laps around the creker building

he has high spikes of adrenaline where its just quite literally circling you with hearts in his eyes and doves singing 

and then low long silent moments where he sits in a corner, muttering at the wall and everyone is like what is going on with him

if he could he might just spend eternity flip-flopping between the two

it’d take an intervention to get him to just seize the opportunity during one of his more positive moods to just ask you on a date

the only problem is he talks so fast and so jumbled and waves his hands around 

and you’re like wh-

and he’s like datetommorrowcoffeeorteawhichdoyoupreferdoyounotevenwanteitherwhataboutumlikeamoviepleasesayyes

once again you are like ?

and sangyeons meter of confidence is slowly depleting hes about to run away until sunwoo is like 

let me step in and translate: 

sangyeon wants to go on a date with you tomorrow

when you brighten up and accept, sangyeon just breathes a sigh of relief and maybe almost tips over from the intense amount of feelings hitting him at once lol

jacob

no one takes him seriously when he starts saying he likes you

not because you’re unlikable but because jacob says it with such normalcy that everyone is like

nah

if you liked them, you would definitely be all mushy and shy and embarrassed about it

and jacob is like what are you talking about im not embarrassed to have a crush on someone i think is really awesome 

even kevin is like dude don’t push it - you shouldnt make jokes about liking people

and jacob is just like *blinks*

but seriously, everyone expects him to be writing lyrics in secret and practicing some kind of grand serenade to ask you out - like you’re literally an angel dude so you have to like someone in the most cupid-esque way possible

which jacob is just like :/ about because there’s no right way to show someone how much you like them-

juyeon: sorry what i was not listening?

you on the other hand, don’t ever even catch wind of it because jacob is so sweet at all times

polite, caring, gentle touches, lots of eye contact, little smiles that make your heart melt, the usual

that you just assume he’s like this to everyone so of course you are clueless and his lack of grandiose confessions is making everyone else clueless too

until one day jacob is like fine if no one believes me ill just tell them a

nd everyone in the room is like pfft would love to see you try-

three seconds later jacob is standing in front of you and saying “want to date me?” and you’re so shocked you can’t speak

but the rest of tbz is so shocked at least three of them nearly faint 

younghoon

keeps his mouth shut

literally like shut shut like not a WORD to you or to anyone in a five foot distance of you

he’ll be talking to chanhee about something and you’ll walk in and suddenly younghoon just hits pause

chanhee is like hello are you broken hello and younghoon is just _____

until you walk out of the room and then he’s like

“-that’s why i think we shouldn’t include that dance move”

and chanhee is like what the hael just happened

you will be in a conversation and pull younghoon over to join you and when you’re like what do you think!!!!!!!1

he looks at you and the cognitive function for speech just disappears 

maybe its your cute face accelerating his heartbeat or maybe its the all the nerves in his body going haywire because all he wants to say is how much he really really likes you

but he can’t just SAY that so instead he says nothing

sometimes he’s lucky and members who understand this younghoon lovestruck glitch are around can save him

but sometimes its just you and him and silence until youre like ok- well-

you think maybe he just doesnt want to talk to you because he doesnt like you

so you apologize for bothering him

and its like everything that has ever blocked him from speaking before just flies out the window

because suddenly younghoon is holding your hands in his and saying

“no, im sorry. i just dont know what to say because i like you so much.”

it’s the longest sentence you’ve ever heard from him

and you are so flustered but all you can say back is

“you can keep saying ‘i like you’ if you want...........”

younghoon for the rest of the week: i like you

you: giddy

tbz: kinda wishing he’d shut it again 

hyunjae

there’s no lovestruck period, it’s straight up infatuation from day ONE

and it comes at full force

hyunjae is like bubblegum, stuck to you and only you

sugary sweet and always reminding you that he is available whenever you decided you want to take him

it can really overwhelm someone, because his attention is fixated and forthcoming

and i mean you’d really have to lack all the common sense in the world not to see that he’s interested

but that’s the thing interest is not always a form of sincerity so you just kind of chalk it up to him trying to be funny

and he sprawls across your lap like a cat

happy with the fact that you just giggle and smile because ok you might never believe that he’s so in love with you it hurts but at least you still let him near you

really people probably ask you if you’re dating him and when you say you’re not their follow up is usually like well arent you exhausted having someone you dont love always around

and you’re like um - no well - i mean - and you are like ok i mean i do love him but im not going to be a fool and fall into a trap of thinking im special

and hyunjae will literally be like they are special. i feel nothing for anyone else, it is just them

and you’re like see! he’s so sweet!

and at some point i think you either drive hyunjae crazy and he kisses you because words are pointless - actions are everything

or chanhee pushes you two into each other from pure, unfiltered annoyance 

“if you love each other stop pretending like it’s a big joke and just DATE!”

juyeon

return to kindergarten romance

literally he sees you and goes pink to the ears and slinks behind his friends even though he’s taller than most of them

and he can barely hide the fact that he jumps over the rainbow when your shoulders brush in the halls

if no one knew any better, juyeon probably scribbles your name in hearts on a notebook page somewhere

but then crumples it up and almost eats it if anyone tries to see what he’s up to

but again you enter the vicinity and he’s goo - muttering and forgetting to string nouns to verbs or whatever

everyone is so amazed that someone with so much charisma on stage can turn this goddamn goofy around someone he likes

and you are energetic and bright - you always want to pull juyeon into the loop - and you think the flustered look on his face is just from genuine surprise or confusion

and you’re like “oh! let me explain what we’re doing blah blah blah” and yes juyeon knows you guys are going to play monopoly but like words? dont? come ? out ? of ? his ? mouth?

and just like kindergarten he probably ends up writing you a note about how much he likes you (tick this box for yes and this box for no) or some form of that

maybe like a text where he is like hi do you want to go on a date and it was actually supposed to be like a ten page essay about why he likes you but then he got too nervous to send it so yeah

its a text that comes out of the blue and when you agree and see juyeon in person the next day you’re like why didn’t you just ask me like months ago

and once again, words? dont? come? out? of? his? mouth?

kevin

gift giving

nonstop gift giving

like to a point where jacob is worried about kevin’s spending habits 

but it is all like handmade items and cute stuff he sees that reminds him of you 

and everyone knows he has a crush before he can even process it because they’re doing a show halfway across the country and everyone is like practicing or doing something on their own

and kevin’s like guys look i saw this in a shop and it reminded me of-

all of tbz looking at him like: we know who it reminded you of

he plays it off though when he gives you the gifts, he’s like ah this was just like in my bag or whatever or oh i made this extra keychain when i had a day off like do you want it

and kevin thinks he is so sly and covering it up so damn well but he isn’t 

you try to give gifts back, mostly because you feel bad that he’s always offering something to you

and one day you are like - at first as a kind of jest - like “here ill just give you myself in return” 

and you throw your arms around his neck like you’ve done a million times before and oh shit you think kevin is going to pass out with how fast his heart starts beating and how he overheats

and you’re like kevin?!??!?! are you ok!?!??! and he’s like areyouserious

and you’re like wh and he’s like are you serious about that,,,,and you’re like oh well i mean do you even want someone like me

and kevin unblinkingly is like of course you are the only person i want

and suddenly you realize that these gifts youve been getting are kevin’s love language and its so freaking cute

(but also stop spending money just give kisses instead) (kevin agrees but he is still like im buying you anything cute i see because u are cute and cute people deserve cute things we love kevin moon logic)

changmin

ignores his feelings by throwing himself into his work

much to the surprise of no one, because he’s naturally a workoholic and perfectionist, but this time something is off

no one should be beating themselves up over such miniscule mistakes like he is

and hyunjae is convinced changmin has finally lost it, like the goddamn lid has flew off the kettle with this one

because they finish practice and everyone is clapping and changmin looks like he’s going to crush the speakers with his bare hands

less lovestruck as he is loveconfused because the real reason he’s so upset is like

he wants to focus so hard on being a great performer and whatnot but when he shuts his eyes or takes a moment to breath

his brain is fuzzy with thoughts of you and not like super romantic flowery thoughts like you see in movies or read in comics

its just little snapshots of you being,,,,,,,,,,,you

laughing along with eric, fixing the hem of your shirt in the mirror, waving at changmin before looking both ways and crossing the street to his side

GOD WHEN HAS SOMEONE CROSSING THE STREET MADE HIS HEART DO A BACKFLIP

the worst thing is he can’t seem to find a way for it to stop until like you are actually in front of him

like the real you - not the memories and thoughts he has daily of you - no just you

and you’re putting your hands on his face and he’s sweaty and hot from dancing for god knows how long and you’re like 

“don’t wear yourself out like this, take care of yourself - if you don’t want to do it for you - can you do it for me?”

and changmin realizes oh right - for you, for you he could move mountains, for you he could fly, like seriously for you he could do anything

and he thinks he just says this to himself but he just said it outloud and somewhere in the room hyunjae is slapping his knee like

“AH! he’s not nuts - he’s just in love.”

chanhee

falls head over heels for you and expects you to read his mind about it

you walk into a room and he sits up a little straighter and is like ok one step two step ok come over to me, look at me, pay attention to me

and you - because you are not a mindreader - go to talk to juyeon first

and chanhee is like OH I SEE HOW IT IS and gets all moody there on out

honest to god he probably knows he’s overreacting but he just does not get why you cant tell how he’s feeling

and he asks like everyone this question and theyre like what? because you aren’t making it obvious at all?

and chanhee is like what the hell do you mean i totally make it obvious and everyone is like did you ask them out? did you get them a gift? did you compliment them?

and chanhee crosses his arms like no......but like......i smiled at them in a way i dont smile at the rest of you clowns

tbz: :/ 

either way, you start to notice this pattern, that when chanhee is not getting your attention he gets a little like a cat and curls himself away from you

so you, much like one with a cat, start to shower him in attention

and he just uncurls and gets all giddy and swats anyone away who tries to get into your little bubble with him

and its a bit entertaining really lol but you think its just chanhee being chanhee

till it keeps happening over and over and over again and you’re like ok wait

and chanhee is like hmm and you’re like why dont we just go somewhere alone together like on a date or something if thats what you like so much

and chanhee, who has been under the suspicion you have been going on dates sitting together in the tbz practice room is like 

“oh right! a date, um i guess sure!”

inside he is screaming 

haknyeon

does not waste time, he puts his detective hat on and makes a plan

for one of the youngest members he probably puts the most diligence into liking someone 

its not just lovestruck butterflies and running away whenever you’re around

haknyeon swats all that gooey-mushy stuff away and is like ok lets see what movies do you like? what kind of food do you like? he has to know so that when he asks you out he is ready to impress

it shocks some of his other members, sangyeon has never seen haknyeon almost bite younghoon’s hand when he tried to as him to get off the shared desktop

haknyeon just wants to know everything about you - which kevin says he could probably do by talking more to you

and haknyeon is like go away grandpa and kevin is like WH-

either way, when it all comes to a head and haknyeon has memorized what he’s going to say in his confession to you for the one millionth time

he does not prepare for what actually happnes

which is you bound up to him with your arms open and you’re like let’s hang out! just the two of us!

and he’s like ok ill go get the other- wait

haknyeon.exe has stopped working

because truth be told he’d spend so much time trying to research and be perfect when all you really like about him is how fun and eccentric he can be

so you just ask him out first and this was not in the plan, but haknyeon is not about to let go of your warm hand as you pull him along beside you

sunwoo

swears to deny it to his grave because one) it’s embarrassing and.........no that’s it. it is embarrassing to have feelings

jacob: feelings aren’t embarrassing! they’re the reason we can care so deeply about others <3

sunwoo: ok nerd........keep it moving

and unlike younghoon who just goes silent around the people he likes or juyeon who tries to find sangyeon to hide behind 

sunwoo just straight up is like cold. and you are like what didi i do?

everyone is just like he’s complicated, it’s just who he is and he’s young so just ignore him

but it makes you sad that sunwoo just doesn’t want to be your friend

and in sunwoo’s head he’s like I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DREAM PERSON BUT THATS SO FREAKING CORNY TO SAY SO LET ME JUST MAKE GRUMPY FACE

he also has such a bad luck, even when he’s not trying to come off mean he probably accidentally spills something on you or breaks something of yours

and instead APOLOGIZING like everyone is telling him to do he just yoinks out of the room and you’re like damn :( 

to be honest, i think the more you guys get distant the more sunwoo falls deeper into it because even with everything

you are always so kind and sweet and how? like how? how are you doing that?

it probably takes a miracle or actually just like someone spilling the beans to you that sunwoo stayed up all night trying to fix the bracelet of yours he broke for it to all change

for you to find sunwoo and hug him and thank him for trying to fix it and the minute you touch him its like 

all these stupid little walls he built melt into nothing and sunwoo is just like i like you so much im sorry im so dumb and you’re like

well you’re like shocked but youre like im sorry i also like you and im also dumb sometimes

both of you standing there wide eyed but also like super super super giddy

one day you aren’t even talking to each other the next day you are cuddling on the couch

kevin: these people are giving me literal whiplash 

eric

thinks you’ll never feel the same way so he does the next best thing, he tries to be your bestest friend

for someone so spunky and confident in himself most of the time you’d think lovestruck eric would just GO for it

but more than he is like outgoing and brave, he is devoted to people he loves

and losing you as a friend over confessing his feelings would probably spiral him into a dark place

so he’ll just take his spot as a super close friend, and horrible wingman 

who tries to get you to admit that you like someone in the group when you have told eric ten times no you dont like changmin like that and yes juyeon is cute but youre not interested

and eric just wants you to be happy and he thinks youre lying and keeping it from him because like you think it would be weird to date someone in tbz

and he’s like cmon tell me! or do you like someone from skz, im friends with felix - do you think he’s cute

and at some point it wears you down and you are just like over to play video games and have fun with eric

and he’s like hey felix said you were pretty when i showed him a photo and you are like ERIC LISTEN TO ME and he’s like blinking like oh?

and you’re like i do like someone but its you and so since that isnt going to happen lets move on

and eric is like lets not move on because from the minute i saw you i thought cupid lodged an arrow so deep in my heart its been stuck their permanently and yes i watched hercules last night so i made that analogy isn’t it about time you kissed me so i would shuttup?

and when you do you’re like ok i have wanted to do that SO many times and he’s like well you should have

and youre like dont be sassy i will bring up every oppurtunity you tried to hook me up with your group member if you do and he’s like

i will shut my mouth forever if that is what you wish <3

#the boyz au #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #tbz au #tbz imagines #member: the boyz #tbz scenarios #the boyz #tbz #sfw #the way younghoon is the ideal man: nothing to say just heart eyes in a stupor JK trgkdls

[pocketmouse18]

Thank you so much to @herosofmarvelanddc @cloudypaws and @mtab2260 for the tag! This was so much fun to think about :)

(fair warning, I wrote too much for many of these...)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 2 :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

450,577 if I did my math right!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Officially? Just 1 - Agents of Shield (two, I guess, if you count MCU as separate, since I use characters from both...). Off the record, many more than that! I have lots of bits and bobs from other fandoms that I tinkered with when I was younger, still getting the hang of writing, not brave enough to post things, etc. etc. Some of those include X-Men, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, the Fosters, Star Wars, the Hunger Games, the 39 Clues, and a few others I can’t remember. None of those will likely see the light of day, mostly because they’re unfinished, not very good, and just not reflective of who I am as a writer anymore, but they were fun to play around with at the time :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I just have the two, but The Important Thing is to Try wins, hands down, with 1227. Shoulder to Shoulder has 95, though, which I’m also very proud of! Important Thing has a definite advantage, being as long as it is, so I don’t know if that’s really a fair comparison between them.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least, I always try to! I just can’t believe someone would be kind enough to take the time to tell me what they thought of my story, so I always want to take the time to thank them and return the favor :) Plus, as I’ve learned, it’s a fantastic way to get to know some really lovely people!

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Well... I technically only have one story that has an ending, at least on Ao3, and it’s not an especially angsty one, since it ends in Phil and Melinda getting married :) I have some angsty chapter endings in Important Thing, if that counts? I’m not even sure if any of my unpublished fiddlings have angsty endings (most don’t have endings at all lol)... I don’t mind writing angst, but I don’t know if I’m capable of making something without a happy (or at least hopeful) ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've ever written?

Not really, unless you count AoS/MCU crossovers (which I guess technically count, but also I would argue it’s not a true crossover since (and I will die on this hill) AoS is a part of MCU canon). When I was younger I was a fan of playing around with crossover AUs more so than the actual characters crossing paths (so like, what if these characters from XYZ were demigods or went to Hogwarts or what have you, and not so much what would happen if the X-Men met Luke, Leia, and Han on one of their space adventures). I started writing a crossover between AoS and the Marvel Rising cartoon once (which again, not sure if that’s a true crossover, since Daisy was in Marvel Rising, but I digress), where Coulson tasks Daisy to work with Kate Bishop and Rayshaun Lucas to collect and train a team of young Inhumans, starting with Kamala Khan, but I ran out of steam pretty quickly when it got too plot heavy.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think so. I’ve had some people not understand some choices that I made, but they asked it in a way that I thought was perfectly nice, and I was happy to talk about it with them. Sometimes people get “mad” at me when I cause pain and suffering, but I know that’s all in good fun :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, not for me. I don’t read it or write it, personally. Writing a kiss is hard enough!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge! Important Thing is probably too long and unwieldy to ever steal :P

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once asked me on FFN if they could translate Important Thing to Russian, which was basically the coolest thing I’ve ever been asked!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A fic, no. I’d love to try sometime! I had a friend in college who I co-wrote with A LOT, though, so I know I enjoy that process, given the right partner. We wrote several short plays together (ranging from ~15-50 minutes in length, including one that we wrote in a single afternoon!), selected scenes from a larger (unfinished) play inspired by historical letters we found in an archive that were sent between a man from Massachusetts serving in the American Civil War, his wife, and his 8-year-old son, and several scripts for TV sitcoms (2 pilots for 2 different shows, plus additional eps for those pilots, and a couple of later eps for a different show that a classmate of ours wrote the pilot for - we were trying to practice what it would be like to be on a staff with a showrunner haha). The sitcom scripts in particular I’m very proud of, and could talk somebody’s ear off about if asked (one’s about ghost hunters and one’s about a DnD party!), but maybe that’s better saved for another post ;)

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That’s a very hard question for me! Mostly because shipping stuff is usually one of the last things to register for me when I’m thinking about shows/books/movies I like haha... I’m always a sucker for Philinda, and younger me was rather taken with Percabeth, I suppose.

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Hmm, several, really. The aforementioned AoS/Marvel Rising crossover I think could be really cool if I got it to work, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen. I also have a WIP that’s like an angstier version of a Hallmark Christmas movie AU where Daisy has to come home to her small town right before Christmas and figure out what she wants out of life, but I’m a little stalled out on that one, mostly because I’m waffling on who the charming love interest should be and because I don’t have enough of a plot, just lots of feelings about coming back home to a place you thought you had left behind lol.

I’d put Important Thing and it’s (as of yet) untitled sequel on here as things I want to finish, but I’m much more determined to see those through, so I don’t think they qualify for the “never will actually write” part of this question :)

15. What are your writing strengths?

I don’t know if other people agree with this, but I think I write pretty decent dialogue. My “training” (if you can call it that) is in, as you might have figured out by now, script and screenplay writing (those were the only creative writing classes I took in college). So having a sense of the rhythm a conversation needs to have and how to write dialogue that sounds mostly like how people really talk (but shined and tightened up enough so that it’s not actually like verbatim dialogue, which is far less interesting to read!) is something that I feel like comes pretty easily. I also think I do okay with similes and metaphors - my brain tends to work in that way. It’s easier for me to think of stuff (feelings, especially) in terms of comparing it to more familiar things than to just think of the thing directly, if that makes sense?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

If I was being honest, this would be a very long section, but I know it’s not fun to read a big ol’ paragraph of someone self-criticizing, so I’ll keep it to one or two items ;) A big one for me is pacing, I think. I tend to write more than I need to and to over-explain things, so my chapters get very long and sometimes don’t really go anywhere? Until all of the sudden, they DO, because things need to HAPPEN! I’m a pretty rigorous self-editor, but I do have a really hard time cutting out sections (unless they’re really just not working), so even if it would help the pacing to leave out this conversation between character A and character B, I often can’t make myself cut it. I also think I struggle sometimes with balancing my ‘showing’ and my ‘telling,’ especially in the sense of me over-explaining certain things - like when it comes to feelings/facial expressions/etc, for example. I compensate for that in Important Thing by making it a part of a few people’s POV, but it’s not really a good habit to have in general. Also spelling! I’m really bad at spelling and run my stuff through robust spellchecks and text-to-speech before I post anything to make up for it :)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do it with some regularity, although I always get nervous about doing it wrong! It’s hard to avoid in AoS, where characters are spies and should (in theory, at least) have a working knowledge of multiple languages (”We’re spies, I thought we all learned languages?!”). Even in an AU, where characters aren’t spies, I like to try and pay homage to that, plus pay homage to certain characters’ native languages or just general multilingualism. I’ve spent a fair amount of time around people who speak more than one language, so I feel like it’s a natural part of groups of people to have more than one language spoken. I have a pretty good handle on written Spanish, a patchy idea of French, plus I know some Russian phrases from my dad and some German words from my grandfather, but I do rely on internet translation a lot. I usually run stuff through google, then run it backwards to see just how far off the initial translation was, then consult some actual, like, language learning sites to see if there’s particular idioms or common phrases that use different words than what google will give me, then run those words through backwards in the place of the original words to see if I can massage the whole thing to sound reasonably competent. Languages like Russian or Mandarin (which have their own alphabets/characters) are the hardest, since I have to also try and do a transliteration. I always try to put an apology/disclaimer in the notes any time I write in a language that isn’t English, because I’m sure I make lots of mistakes.

Also, I tend not to italicize words that are in other languages, because it looks weird on the page to me to set the other language apart like that (and because I italicize mainly for internal thoughts or emphasis, and usually what’s being said in another language isn’t internal or being emphasized). I put a rough translation at the end so we don’t have to pause the story for a parenthetical translation, but because the translation’s not right there, I try to either put in enough context clues that a person can still understand what’s going on, or I make sure that what’s written in another language isn’t critical to the overall understanding of the scene.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Officially, it’s AoS, since that’s the only fandom I’ve published for. I think the first true fandom I wrote fic for was probably either Harry Potter (entirely populated with OCs lol, I just liked using the world/setting), Percy Jackson (a mix of OCs and canon characters), or X-Men (all canon characters). I was a bit of a latecomer to fanfiction, though, like, I wrote a ton as a kid, but mostly original stuff, because I didn’t know that fanfiction in its current form was even allowed until I was in high school lol.

Oh! I almost forgot one! I’m not sure if this really counts as a fandom, but it’s definitely the earliest version of fanfic I wrote haha... I was like 12 and I wrote more than one story of an OC joining Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, and then also one of that same OC becoming a knight of the Round Table, so like... do what you will with that information haha.

19. What's you're favorite fic you've written?

I can’t choose between my two darlings :( I mean, okay, technically it’s probably Important Thing. That story’s my baby. It’s huge and I’ve been working on it for almost 2 years, and I’ve poured a lot of my heart and soul into it. I’ve fallen in love with the universe I built in it, so much so that I wrote an entire prequel and have very concrete plans for a lengthy sequel. But I can’t not crow about Shoulder to Shoulder (the aforementioned prequel!), too... I’m just really proud of that one - it has a lot of firsts for me. First completed story. First romance-focused story. First foray into expanding the Important Thing universe. But yes, if I have to choose, then Important Thing wins. That’s a story that I started writing exclusively for myself - to give myself characters I could relate to and to explore a style of AoS fic that I loved reading - and that’s a story I will always and forever be proud of.

I think most people have probably answered this tag game at this point, so I don’t want to accidentally retag anyone! If you haven’t yet, and would like to join in, please do! This is your invitation <3

[hmgfanfic]

Talk about all the Fillory worldbuilding in LQoF, please :)

THIS IS INEXCUSABLY LATE. I’m so sorry!

And I wish I could say it was just my scatterbrainedness, which is definitely a constant factor, but it was also that when you sent this, I was deeeeeeeep into writing the final few chapters of Little Quirks of Fate and I was kind of... in my head about it. It took a lot longer to finish than I had planned (a cardinal sin to my particular combo of severe ADHD and Type-A personality) and I was spending excessive amounts of time making sure I figured out a satisfying ending by my own exacting standards, so I just didn’t have the headspace to think through my early process yet. Very sorry about that :( But now that I’m finally done, I’m excited to look back! So if you’ll indulge me a very late answer, I’d be tickled. 💗

Long ramblings and major fic spoilers under the cut.

The truth is a lot the world building came down to character stuff foremost, followed closely by my preferences as a writer. I adapted the world to the story I wanted to tell, while using the little bits of information we’re given in canon as a baseline, rather than building the story around the world. And that was a lot more fulfilling for me, since I only really love worldbuilding through the lens of character, rather than as an exercise unto itself (though it’s super fun once you get rolling.)

To explain what I mean by that, you need to know that Little Quirks of Fate was originally going to be a oneshot. My plan was about 25-30k (lol) of a pure S2 retelling, only with Quentin in the role of Fen. It was also going to take a much more traditional enemies-to-lovers’ path—with Quentin as an active member of the FU Fighters—and the whole thing was going to be in his POV. Also, they weren’t even going to kiss until after the bank heist (which, yes, was going to be a thing here), but that got abandoned the fastest in favor of trying my hand at smut. But two things made me realize I needed to significantly shift course:

1) I was struggling to make Quentin actually feel like Quentin. I wrote this very atmospheric early scene at the FU Fighters encampment, with lots of description of the bonfires and the way their shirts dyed in Fillorian red looked like blood (you get it.) It took place in the black of night, shrouded in secrecy, and when Bayler questioned Quentin about his new husband, Quentin said something like, “He’s a drunk idiot, we have the advantage.” It was all very lush and dramatic, but it really, really, really didn’t feel like Q in any recognizable way to me. Now, I’m not someone who thinks Q needs to be a precious sweetheart all the time, but what I was writing didn’t have his idiosyncrasies or a motivation that felt true to who I feel he is.

2) The draft was DEFINITELY missing Eliot’s story and his perspective. I certainly don’t think Eliot’s POV is always necessary (sometimes not having his direct thoughts heightens tension in romance especially), but it felt really necessary here, to fill in the gaps of what Quentin was assuming and also—more importantly—because the events were just as impactful on him, but in a very different way. So I knew I was missing half the narrative, but that meant I would need to deal more explicitly with the Beast (i.e., Mike, the most devastating storyline to me, personally) and I really, really didn’t want to do that.

My first step in making a more recognizable Quentin was figuring out a way he could more or less use the same syntax that he does on the show. Voice is the first way I connect with a character, so while many writers in this fandom thrive at modifying speech patterns and keeping the heart of a character alive, keeping close to Quentin’s canon speech was an easy fix for me in a story I was excited to get rolling. Sort of like the old adage of uplifting your strengths before putting outsize energy into things you struggle with.

The easiest way I could think to give him the same syntax was to figure out a way Quentin spent some significant time on Earth during his formative years. And once I rewatched 2x06 and was reminded that Ess went to Phillips Exeter Academy for high school, I lost my damn mind. I started sketching out ways that Quentin could get there too and that’s how I built out the idea of Umber brokering a marriage deal with the actual landmass of Coldwater Cove, which included an education opportunity for the boys (in a nod to Fillory’s patriarchal nature), and also the reason why Umber did that, which was to take advantage of his brother’s orgy mistake with the first Children of Earth to usher in a more productive and orderly Fillory. So that created a whole new set of rules and essentially a whole new world for me to play with... all for the sake of Quentin getting to say “fuck.” It was that important to me. :p

And as I worked through all that, I realized I also wanted to give Q magic, since Quentin’s relationship with magic is something I’m interested in. But I had read on ye olde Tumblr that the reason Illario uses a wand in 2x06 is a nod to the books, where Fillorians specifically aren’t Magicians and that’s the rationale for the Children of Earth royalty. And while I generally see the books as interesting supplemental material with zero bearing on the television show canon, I still said to myself, “Self, wouldn’t it be kind of funny if Quentin was the only native born Fillorian who had magic and so the FU Fighters believe he’s the chosen true High King, but instead of it being because he’s ~special~, it’s because Umber made a clerical error? Lol! Hilarious!”

So while all my questions for how to explain all THAT spun out into more and more detail, at the same time...

I caved to the idea that this story was going to be a No Beast AU, just like my last two stories, mostly because I really couldn’t bring myself to deal with the Mike of it all, even tangentially. I could have just changed that single element, but I’m not a half-measure gal! But I still wanted to stick with the vague background theme of Fillory = adulthood from a questing perspective and I wanted Julia leading the charge this time, but without the sexual assault that occurs in canon. So obviously, the answer was avenging all of the murdered and cannibalized “grown-ups,” i.e., master Magicians, by seeking out help from the gods in a balanced Fillory free from the devastation of the Beast. Duh! ;)

So then, like anyone would do, I rewatched every episode up to 4x11 that makes a mention of Fillory and took about twenty pages of notes on the canon worldbuilding, along with an analysis of how much a particular piece of information would be impacted or not by balance in the realm. For instance, the existence of geraniums (per The Fillorian Candidate and Tick’s misunderstanding of “power plants”) and the lack of diamonds as a precious stone (per the River Watcher not knowing the value of Margo’s earrings in Knight of Crowns) struck me as static facts unaffected by Ember’s reign of chaos. But I shifted the overall feel of Fillory to one that’s more functional and a lot more bureaucratic, leaning on things like the existence of socialized health/vision/dental insurance (the idea of which is canonical, per a petition from the beavers requesting dental coverage from acting High King Josh in Ramifications), strict taxation plans, and an overall sense of thriving Ceremony to show Umber’s influence.

Basically, I wanted Eliot to inherit a much, much easier Fillory to rule—especially with the highly educated Quentin as a built-in and passionate advisor—mostly so it wouldn’t completely strain credulity when a lot of his energy goes toward his love life rather than the intricacies of ruling (though Margo would say he still favored his personal life more than he should have, and she wasn’t... wrong. He wants to be a husband more than a king!) But I specifically made it so most of the chaotic elements were played as whimsical (sorry) quirky shit or smaller hints of greater injustice (see: Ember getting rid of STDs, but still letting magic-poor citizens die of sepsis because that’s too boring to deal with), all while a cataclysmic danger lurked under the surface.

After that, I just filled in details as they worked with character stuff and plot stuff, and I tried to make sure they didn’t contradict each other in a way that couldn’t be chalked up to “chaos.” I basically lived with the Fillory map open all the time and also took screenshots of Benedict’s map of Loria, which gave me alternate ideas for the overall feel of the landmass rather than just the kingdom. And pretty much that’s the basic process I used to create the world! It was extremely fun, and I learned a lot, though I’m *definitely* focusing on some pure relationship kind of stuff for a while because... oof, sometimes it was a lot.

Annnnnnnd if you’re still with me, here’s some stray observations, for funsies:

I wanted Quentin and Eliot’s starting points to be more mature than in the show. Quentin when we’re introduced to him as an adult in LQoF is a lot more jaded and cautious than S1 Q, which is because in this world, his S1 mentality happened while he was on Earth and came to a head during the throes of his fucked up relationship with Bayler. Similarly, Eliot had already gone through a lot of shit too, and was much more self-actualized by the time he agreed to be High King here than in the show. It was still out of desperation for purpose, but not coming out of a direct trauma spiral. I think if they had been younger, both in age and mentality, the story wouldn’t have worked because they would’ve blown it up day two. They’re both still disasters, as we like to say, which is why the... everything happens, but they’re not disasters in the exact same way as in early canon. I thought of them as closer to their S3 selves, pre-Mosaic.

While I mostly kept Quentin’s syntax the same as on the show, I did change it up in some ways to reflect his Fillorian upbringing. The most obvious was replacing “goddamn” with “godsdamned” and “Jesus” with “Hades,” but I also made him slow on the Earth idiomatic uptake and slightly more likely to use passive voice and less likely to use contractions, especially early on and especially when speaking with Fen. He also said slightly out of date things even for someone who last remembered 1999, since Earth was still overwhelming despite his immersion. E.g.: In the epilogue, he asks Eliot if he can spend some time “Googling the World Wide Web” instead of watching Gossip Girl together, even though by 1999 most people were saying “on-line” or “the internet” by a pretty wide margin. But in my mind, the first term he learned was World Wide Web and he stuck to it like glue.

I originally had a full-blown coronation scene, where Quentin helped Eliot with the answers to the 90s questions via subtle charades, such as flapping his hands at his sides to give him the answer “Wings” (and Eliot was eventually going to Eliot-Logically use that moment to argue to Quentin that maybe Q really is the true High King since he was the one who actually answered the Knight’s questions, etc.), but I cut it and only showed bits and pieces in flashbacks because it didn’t really matter. They had to treat it seriously because it was An Event in this version of balanced/un-Beasted Fillory, with a full audience bearing witness, but the whole thrust of the external plot was about dismantling that moment and the concept of monarchy in general, so giving it too much weight outside of the Eliot and Julia friendship felt disingenuous to the story I was telling.

This is also why it was important to me that Margo hated the title High King Eliot the Kind, even though I only brought it up textually once or twice. But in my view, she fucking hated it and never came around to it. Which isn’t because she doesn’t think Eliot is kind, it’s that it felt like a simplification of all that he is, and the coronation ceremony in general felt similarly shallow. It wasn’t just the four of them working out their shit on the beach; it was true ceremony after a year of questing toil and a lot lingering uncertainty/resentments (especially regarding Julia), so it was too Big Shiny Happy Bow to her.

Yet on the same theme, my greatest regret was not being able to work in the fact that Margo’s title for Penny (King Penny the Persistent) was supposed to be half-sincere and half-sex joke. She did genuinely admire that he stuck it out even through his initial heartbreak because he gives a shit about his people underneath it all, but—and this is a very important headcanon to me—she admired his dedication to the art of the female orgasm even more.

I was originally also going to include the One Day More sequence with way more details—such as Umber taking the Javert lines, Ember taking the Thenardier lines, Bayler taking the Enjolras lines, and Penny taking the Marius lines, but... uh... writing a musical number is apparently not in my skill set. Also, honestly, the weirdness of the original is its whole charm and so I didn’t want to improve upon perfection. See also, in a more serious way: Eliot bowing to High King Margo on the Muntjac, the events of Plan B, and Quentin & Penny in the Flying Forest. Would not touch it!

My favorite Fillorian detail was either the guy who sent a citizen petition requesting a “smidgen” of Eliot’s earwax for an undisclosed purpose, or the use of the verb “to peg” to describe a Pegasus flock greeting an outsider with honor. They encapsulate the obscene yet pristine feel I always tried to give Fillory.

My favorite subtle(-ish?) ironic moment is Ess, the heir to a hereditary monarchy, taking Quentin to task for not honoring the anarchy patch on his high school backpack. In general, I don’t like everything being neatly resolved, including on an overarching world level. And I very strongly felt they had ZERO business meddling in Loria, so it left some fun-to-me unanswered questions. Will Ess usher in democracy for Loria based on his experiences on Earth? Maybe! Maybe not, since tradition’s a hell of a drug and Loria has its own history and complexities. Who knows?

I misread the town name Sutton as Sultan on the map the first time I referenced Bayler’s hometown (Sultan’s Ridge), but instead of going back to fix it, I just made it a sister town. Whatever!

I do not know how Quentin got a full bookshelf of Earth literature back to Fillory with him. Magic, I guess. (That’s the answer to anything I didn’t totally think through.)

I occasionally get asked whether Quentin and Fen were physically related. The answer is no, though it doesn’t totally matter. But I intended heart-cousins to be more like close family friends. (Though I actually originally had a joke where Eliot still wasn’t sure by the epilogue, but it didn’t land/feel realistic so I cut it.)

The details of the magic frequency poisoning were DEFINITELY what I thought through the least. My main goal was to have something catastrophic happen to Fillory based in part from the historical actions of the Children of Earth and Ember, patently ridiculously but with lasting consequences. Hence, god orgy that took away Fillorian human magic and sent out a slow poisoning of the overall magic “frequency.” It sounds all well and good, but it’s definitely something that would fall apart with even the lightest bit of prodding. It serves it’s purpose though, so I figured the gaps could be filled in or politely ignored. ;)

This question was way too much fun and a helpful retrospective for me! Thank you so much for indulging me, many moons ago. 💗

#little quirks of fate #harri writes #anon asks #ze process #<3 thank you i love you #this one is a long post even for me #dialogue asker if you’re reading this you’re up next I promise!

[peters-starks]

NUMBER NEIGHBOUR

Peter Parker x Reader 

Summary: when texting your number neighbour you got more than you bargained for. 

Word Count: 4,059

Masterlist

The recent trend on Twitter of people texting their “number neighbour” the person who has the same phone number as them but with one number difference had become really popular in the past few days, so much so even the majority of your friends had now done it. So, when you were having a chill night in with two of your friends and they tried to persuade you to text your number neighbours you really weren’t surprised.  

“Guys I’m not going to do it what if it’s some weirdo and they probably won’t even reply so it’ll be pointless” you chucked and shook your head. 

“Come onnnn this movie is so boring and we’ve both already spoken to our neighbours so it’s your turn!” Your best friend, Merise, wasn’t wrong, this movie was like a YouTube comedy remake of an actual horror movie and frankly the acting was beyond awful. 

“What happened to typical fun games like truth or dare” you yelped as your other friend, Amara, threw a pillow at you 

“Just do it” they groaned at you going to reach for another pillow making you put your arms over you in defence whilst laughing

“Okay okay! I guess I have no dignity left to lose!” 

All your friends gathered around your phone as you typed in your phone number and changed the last number at the end and selected the message option. You typed out a simple “hi” and then clicked send. 

“Hi? Hi! That’s so boring” Amara groaned and Merise pinched her side 

“What else were they gonna say?” 

You shook your head at your overly energetic friends and stared at your screen for a moment longer with nothing happening. “I told you there would be no resp-”your words were cut short by a notification noise coming through and Merise grabbed your phone laughing. 

UNKNOWN: hi? Who is this? 

You groaned and watched as Merise tapped away and the sound of a message being sent shortly followed. 

Y: I’m your number neighbour! Have you seen the trend online? 

Your eyes widened at this. “OMG what if they’re like 90 years old? Or like 8? If they’re like underage isn’t this illegal I mean” you typed as you rambled your friends watching you in amusement. 

Y: unless you’re like not online which is super fine and if you’re like really young then ignore this aha :) 

“Honestly I don’t understand how your level of awkwardness can project through a screen that hard like I’m getting awkward radiation poisoning from this” Amara gaped at you making Merise chuckle and mumble something in agreement along the lines of ‘it’s not that deep’.

~|~

Peter was perched on his favourite rooftop taking a break to view the New York skyline at night, this being one of the reasons he loved patrolling in the evenings as nowhere else could you see this view. His phone vibrating caught his attention and he assumed it was Aunt May asking when he would be home as she was probably fretting about him swinging across the city, still not completely loving his new role but all the same supporting him to an endless amount. 

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed when he saw an unknown number on his phone screen and swiped to open the message seeing a simple “hi”. The number looked vaguely familiar but at this point Peter was far too tired to place it. He replied cautiously and waited for the mystery person to answer him. 

When his phone vibrated again he was mildly surprised by the two messages. His number neighbour! Peter secretly loved that trend online much to MJ’s dismay as she found it ‘pointless’ and had sent her number neighbour links to government conspiracies when they had text her to which she had no reply. Peter thought she just didn’t like the trend because she was upset she didn’t make a new conspiracy friend. 

P: ohhhh, of course I know, hey neighbour! And don’t worry I’m not really young 

P: well that depends what you class as really young, 13 is pretty old right? 

P: lol kidding 

Peter face palmed himself at that, god he was such a dork. 

Y: Idk 13 is quite young when you’re 65 

Y: I’m not actually 65 tho don’t worry 

Y: how old actually are you tho lol 

Peter smiled slightly sensing your mild anxiety at texting a stranger and honestly it was most the reason he hadn’t done it yet because knowing his luck he’d message a child and have some very unhappy parents at his door. 

P: I’m 18 wbu 

Y: snap! 

P: thank god! Are you from New York? 

Y: yup lived here for a couple of years now, I take it you are too? 

P: Queens 

Your two friends squealed as you found out this stranger lived surprising close to your apartment. 

“Ask them their name! We might know them considering they’re so close” Merise squealed slightly. Honestly you just thought she was like a puppy who was excited to meet new people. 

Y: so neighbour what’s your name if you don’t mind me asking? 

Peter hesitated at this for a second as even though his identity was hidden, only those the very closest to him knowing him as Spider-Man, giving his name to someone over text who literally could be anyone seemed risky. However, he doubted that any random government agent or evil bad guy would know of number neighbours or be able to joke around so easily. 

P: Peter, what’s yours? 

Y: Hi Peter from Queens, I’m y/n.

Amara braced herself for Merise’s literal yell at finding out the person you were texting was not only the same age and from nearby but also A BOY. 

“I BET he’s cute, he seems nice over text and dorky so he’s gotta be cute ugh” Merise winked at you after her small speech and you simply rolled your eyes. 

“I’m sure he is, if he’s who he says he is” you started staring at your screen waiting for his reply. Time passed and after 40 minutes you gave up on checking your phone screen every 10 minutes waiting for Peter to answer you. He probably got bored of texting a stranger which you wouldn’t blame him. The internet came up with weird trends. 

Just as you let your friends out as it was way past the time they were supposed to leave as you had school the next day, your phone had another text notification.

P: hi y/n :) 

You smiled faintly at this because Merise was kind of right, Peter sounds like a bit of a dork. 

Y: do you go to school in New York? 

Y: that’s if you’re in school aha 

P: yea I go to Midtown actually 

Your eyes widened slightly as that was Amara’s school whilst you and Merise went to one a couple miles away from Midtown. 

Y: no way! My friend goes there. You must be pretty smart. I go to the next school over. 

P: nice! Guess we really aren’t too far away then. 

A few hours passed and you and Peter were still texting back and forth, knowing you both really should be asleep but the conversation flowed so well that time passed without any realisation. Which you both paid for when school started the next day.

Y: I.am.so.tired.

P: I literally slept through 3 alarms and coffee isn’t working. Help. 

Y: at least you don’t have a bio test today I’m honestly screwed. 

P: if you need bio help I’m actually kind of a nerd with that stuff. Text me the questions secretly ;)

Y: oh yea totally not noticeable. 

You smiled and rolled your eyes at Peters texts catching Merise’s attention. “Still texting Queens boy, are we?” She nudged your shoulder and winked at you. 

“Maybe I am” you tried to answer with a straight face but honestly it was difficult. 

Throughout the day, you and Peter exchanged small texts here and there, both your friends seemed to notice you being glued to your phones more than usual. 

When school ended, you went home and tried to get your school work done but honestly nothing was going in so you opted for aimless scrolling for a while. The top of your newsfeed was an alert of Spider-Man ending yet another Robbery only a few blocks away from your apartment which usually you took no notice of but it was the bank your parents used so it caught your attention more than usual. 

Y: yknow I think I’m going to need that study help, literally everything is distracting me. Including bank robberies! Not even Spider-Man can save my grades this semester. 

P: you never know, Spider-Man is probably pretty good at bio. 

Peter laughed at himself, inside jokes about his identity really were the only enjoyable part about hiding himself from the people around him. He was sat back on the rooftop from last night trying to rest up his side as he took a pretty hard blow from one of the robbers and certainly has a bruise. He remembered Ned saying a solution to help bruising the other day and decided to ask him and without looking dialled. 

“Hello?” 

Ok. So that isn’t Ned. 

“Peter is that you...” 

When you saw peter was ringing you it confused you but you did ask him for study tips so maybe he was saving your ass via phone call. 

Peter froze when he heard your voice, checking his phone and seeing “y/n” on the screen. God, he must’ve selected your contact instead of Neds since he was thinking about you. 

“Oh um hi sorry I meant to phone my friend about some bruise stopping thing but I must’ve called you by mistake” 

“Bruise stopper?” You cocked your head in confusion. “Do I even want to know” you chucked slightly. Hearing Peters actual voice was kind of weird but as much as you hated to admit it even his voice sounded cute to you. 

“Ah um I kind of ran into a wall aha yea like super hard” Peter literally wanted to dive bomb off the roof top, god his awkward rambles always revealed too much. And a wall?? Who’s going to believe that.

“Right a wall... clumsy I take it” 

“Yeah you could say that” peter laughed lightly. 

“Well don’t ask how I know this but cold compress it on and off and apply Arnica gel a few times a day and Aloe if you want to be extra careful” 

Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise a thought going through his head that you weren’t some secret vigilantly too or worse maybe some villain. “I won’t ask don’t worry but um thank you” 

You smiled gently “you’re welcome Peter from Queens” 

“Well i guess if you’re curing my bruising you can call me Peter Parker instead of Peter from Queens” 

“Well Peter Parker, y/n y/l/n” 

Peter smiled more until his cheeks hurt under his mask as you carried on speaking to each other, hearing your voice somehow made you more real to Peter and speaking to you was relaxing. You didn’t know him as Peter Parker quiet nerd from Midtown or as the rookie avenger that kind of went to space and saved the world but also helps old ladies cross the road. You knew him as Peter, number neighbour and hopefully at this point friend. Getting to know someone new was really a breath of fresh air. 

It was getting late again and honestly you don’t think you can go another day of school with next to no sleep no matter how much you loved speaking to Peter. And so you and peter began to say your goodnights. 

“It was really nice speaking to you today Peter, like actually speaking to you” 

“Yea it was really nice speaking to you too... maybe we can do it again sometime?” 

“You can call me whenever, especially if you are gonna help me with studying orrr if you need anymore bruises to heal” you smiled as you spoke, the tiredness etching into your body slowly. “Well, goodnight Peter Parker” 

“Goodnight y/n” 

Over the next two weeks you and Peter spoke every single day, most the time through texts and mainly through meme’s as well as evening phone calls. Sometimes Peter would have to leave the call abruptly with weird excuses which made you suspicious, Merise said it’s probably a girlfriend he doesn’t want you to know about but Amara shut that down saying that she doubts it. Amara also went to midtown with Peter but had no classes with him and barely knew his face, she said her friend said he was probably the guy with the Stark internship. When you asked Peter about the internship he got nervous and stuttered a lot which confused you but you convinced yourself it was because there was lots of Top Secret Avengers stuff he had to be careful with. 

“I’m so jealous you get to work with the avengers y’know? I’ve always loved those guys, like how cool would it be to have some kind of power and be able to save people?” You gushed to Peter one evening which honestly made him blush a bit. You were a bit of a superhero nerd too. 

“Yea it must be pretty cool” Peter tried to keep the tone in his voice even but Karen quickly informed him that his voice indicated excitement and anxiety. 

“Have you met many avengers? Have you met Thor? He’s a literal god I mean even meeting Tony Stark alone must have been amazing I’ve always found him so interesting like he’s was so clever and he saved us all like literally! Oh god and SPIDER-MAN he’s just so cool because he’s like our thing you know? Like a New York special hero” you were also blushing as you spoke realising you were fully geeking out to a guy you’d never even met and he probably thought you were a total avengers fan girl. 

“Yea Spider-Man is pretty cool, Thor is awesome though! The dude is massive! And Mr Stark was just a great guy y’know? I kinda owe him everything” Peters heart dropped a bit at mentioning Tony but talking about him kept his memory alive in Peter’s eyes, and that’s the least he could do for him. 

“Right yea, sorry I didn’t even think, I’m so sorry for your loss, he was such a great man” you cringed at yourself for not thinking. Of course Peter would’ve been affected by losing Tony. 

“No no it’s okay, I mean you and me wouldn’t be here without what he did so we all owe him one, it’s good to acknowledge it, bet it feeds his ego a bit really” Peter laughed a bit trying to lighten the mood and make you feel less bad. You had both previously spoken about the Snap as both of you had disappeared for those 5 years and late night discussions had run into the early mornings as you had heart to hearts about its tolls on you both. You both found it so easy to talk to each other it was like you’d known each other for years even though you’ve never even seen each other face to face before, both being too awkward to even suggest meeting. 

-|- 

 You knew it was a bad idea to walk home alone so late, but the extra studying was highly needed as Peter couldn’t make your evening phone call to help you study your math quiz tomorrow and if you failed it one more time you were in serious trouble. The lampposts illuminated just enough of the street for you to feel safe-ish but speed walking was definitely needed. 

You were only a block away from your apartment when you got that feeling. It was deep in your gut and it made you shiver. Something was wrong and you couldn’t put a finger on what it was. You turned your head slightly to look around you and at a first glance you saw nothing however a shadow moving in one of the alley ways made your hair on your arms stand up. This was a big nope. 

You grabbed your phone and kept it close to you ready to call for help as footsteps started coming behind you. However as a rough hand grabbed your shoulder pulling your whole body backwards with a tell your phone was knocked out your hand, tumbling towards the ground like your hope of getting through this. 

Your eyes closed in terror as a small object was pushed against your back. Who knew studying would literally be the death of you.

“What’s in the bag” the voice was rough and desperate causing you to hold your breath. “Give me the bag” 

You turned slowly, hands up and faced the man, his face was covered by some makeshift white mask and a black beanie covered his hair, the small black handgun being pointed at you was shaking slightly in his gloved hands. 

You slowly moved your backpack off your shoulders and moved it in front of you, dropping it to the ground and using you foot to push it towards the masked man. Just as the man moved to pick it up a blue and red blur zoomed past you eyes, knocking the man to the wall and his gun became stuck to it by some webbed material. Webbed material. SPIDER-MAN. 

“Hey I don’t think that belongs to you” the voice spoke sounding weirdly altered. 

The robber attempted to swing at the spandex covered hero but missed as Spider-Man ducked and then proceeded to pull him back with webbing as he tried to flee. 

“You know I think an apology would be in order for this” the robber simply muttered a “fuck you” under his breath to which Spider-Man tutted and webbed the guy to the wall before whispering inform the authorities and turning to you. 

“Um hey sorry about this, are you okay miss..” the hero was shorter than you thought standing taller than you but not by a huge amount and his posture seemed almost awkward as he scratched the back of his head waiting for your reply. 

“Oh um y/n” you whispered, trying your best to process your brush with death and also not crying in front of your favourite hero. 

At the mention of your name the eyes of Spider-Man widened and he seemed to freeze. Peter was shocked. Y/n? As in his y/n? Your voice sounded the same but surely not and he almost hoped not considered what just happened, what if he didn’t get here on time? Oh god I mean he thought you were pretty but this pretty? And everything that just happened you must be so terrified and right before your math quiz... 

You saw the hero frozen in place and became instantly confused. “Um... are you okay?” At this he seemed to snap out of it and laughed slightly. 

“I think that’s my line you know” Peter once again realised he fucked up as his voice changer was no longer on, Karen must disabled it when Peter froze and he bet she did it on purpose knowing full well who you are. 

When Spider-Man spoke your eyebrows furrowed because that voice sounded oh so familiar but you could only place it to one person. 

“Right yea um I’m okay I should probably get home I have school tomorrow” you nervously nodded hoping he would say something else so you could confirm it.

“Of course yea um, is it okay if I walk you home? Just to make sure you’re safe?” Peter knew there was no turning back, you’d either figure it out or you wouldn’t and there was no way he was going to let you carry on walking home alone after this. 

“Um... that’d be nice actually, thank you” 

On the walk home not much was said, Peter tried not to say something accidentally and completely reveal himself whilst you were wrapped up in thinking about what just happened to you and the fact not only was Spider-Man walking you home but you’re pretty sure he is your mystery friend Peter Parker. 

When you arrived at your apartment you thanked the Webster and watched him swing off into the New York skyline and then took your phone out and dialled the only number you could think of. 

“Hello? Everything okay?” Peter sounded out of breath which was very convenient and he also sounded worried which if you weren’t already so suspicious you wouldn’t take note of. 

“You’re not going to believe the evening I’ve had” you went on to explain your half robbery slash attack and Spider-Man’s dramatic entrance and you have to admit Peter is a good actor, although his concern for your emotional well-being seemed to consume his efforts in hiding his fake shock at Spider-Man turning up. 

“Yea it was so weird like I’m totally okay but I can’t figure out what’s the strangest thing, being saved from a robbery by Spider-Man or finding out Spider-Man is my number neighbour you know” you bit your lip with anticipation as you spoke. 

“Well yea u mean it sounds like a strange nigh- wait what” God Peter was so stupid of course you knew! He would recognise your voice anywhere so why wouldn’t you recognise his? “I’m-I’m not Spider-Man I m-mean that’s ridiculous” and he stuttered. Good job Peter. 

“Yea I mean Stark internship? Knowing the avengers and Spider-Man and you sharing a voice is a lot of coincidence huh? It was nice to finally meet you Peter” you didn’t sound offended or angry from what Peter could tell you actually sounded humoured which made him breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Go to your roof top” and with that the line went dead.

Five minutes later you were stood on the rooftop of your apartment complex, glad the door was old and easily pushed open. The hoodie you threw on barely kept you warm from the winds that bashed around you but that was all forgotten as Spider-Man , Peter , landed on the roof next to you. 

“Hey” you smiled and nervously tucked some hair behind your ear as he got closer. 

“Um hi” Peter said, approaching you slowly whilst being kind of unsure. 

“I know your identity is a big thing and I promise I won’t tell anyone about this but I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know and I mean it’s pretty cool but also awkward because I can’t BELIEVE you let me geek out about the avengers and YOURSELF to you for ages and didn’t say ANYTHING I mean wha-“ you were cut short by Peters body colliding with yours in a kind of awkward but sweet hug. He smelt really good. 

When he pulled away you cleared your throat and muttered a sorry. Peter only laughed and lifted his hands up to take his mask off. Underneath he was a lot cuter than you expected, honestly you had to hold in a gasp. His brown hair was floppy and curly, slightly messy from the mask, and his jawline was sharp framing his face and his brown eyes honestly were breath-taking as cliché as it sounds. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you too” Peter said playing with his fingers nervously “you um you’re prettier than I thought wait not that I thought you wouldn’t be pretty but I mean you’re just wow like super pre-“ this time peter was interrupted as your arms wrapped around his neck and you kissed him on the cheek. 

“Thank you. For um saving my life earlier and all, who knew Spider-Man could not only save my life but also save my grades by helping me study” you both chucked at that.

For the rest of the evening you sat on the roof top and enjoyed finally being around each other. The conversation was a lot easier in person, mostly because of the flirty body language and the fact Peters eyes told such a story. By the end you were nearly asleep on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around your torso to help keep you warm and you both silently enjoyed watching the New York skyline at night. Peter had found a new favourite roof top. 

++++++++++++++

OKAY SO my first one shot on this account because the most stupid things inspire me, including twitter trends. i hope you like it as i wasn’t too sure with this one and feel like its a bit rough here and there but overall i enjoyed the concept too much to put it aside. 

Add yourself to my taglist 

TAGLIST: @aesthetic-png @liac2299 @animegirlgeeky @sexysamsungl @mikariell95 @evoutionofkatep  @orowit

#spiderman imagine #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman oneshot #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfic #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #avengers imagine #avengers fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #writing

[fandomele]

Gifset here

responding to @alltoosure​

So, your criteria was that to be included in this gifset, the argument couldn’t have been resolved and there was no potential justification for someone to be upset at Emma, such as grief?

And, yet, the very first gif is of a fight where Henry is rightfully upset at Emma for using Violets heart to make her break up with him. And comes from an episode where Emma and Henry literally make-up in that same episode and Henry is the one to take the no magic cuff off of Emma, telling her he trusts her?

How does that fit the criteria?

Even in the second gif, Henry is being a dick, but I would say the justification that people he knows keep dying or being cursed by magic and he would like his parents to get along, is as good a justification as Hook’s big brother worship.

Also David and Snow are two separate people and David has freedom of thought. If he agrees to do something or not do something with Snow, that is still on him. He is not under her thrall.

I agree, you didn’t do it on purpose, but our biases can be visable even when we try to not show them.

But look, it’s your gifset. You could make it ‘times Emma was hurt by people who were not David or Hook’ and include examples I don’t at all agree with and there isn’t reallly much I could do about it. So you do you.

Yes, it's my gifset, but it's okay if you want to comment and I'll try to explain my train of thoughts, and you can agree or disagree because it was, after all, my subjective view of it that led to it. Which can differ from yours, and that's okay. Of course I'd prefer if you believed me when I say that I didn't consciously decided to conveniently forget stuff lol but hey, I also can't make you believe that, so it's your call. I’d like to still try to explain my view of this, you don’t have to reply, or you can and disagree (though I think we’ll eventually we’ll agree to disagree), it’s fine. But I don’t know if you’ll read all this because I wrote a LOT and I’m sorry lol basically in the middle I ended up explaining the reasoning between each group of gifs. 

My criteria was: "show patterns of Emma getting unfairly treated by people and Emma not ever standing up for herself or even thanking them for it later on. Plus Ingrid (so I guess entirely messed up relationships). Plus, not every moment is going to fit because it's a gifset and I didn't want to put even more gifs."  Or it could also be said “she has an ongoing unaddressed problem with these people, here it is/here they are if it’s more than one” (I already explained point by point why I excluded some, but to be more clear I didn't exclude Regina's grief because I *always* exclude grief, but because 1) I already put Henry being mad at Emma over not trusting Regina soon after and 2) Regina had already more than ten examples in the gifset, it was beating a dead horse. Though I do feel that their reasons can count sometimes. Regina exploding with grief is similar to Killian wanting to protect his brother's honor to me, for example, but Killian apologized, Regina didn't even recognize Emma was literally returning the 'you are benched' favor that Regina and the others did to her one day ago. I'll explain later why Henry scolding Emma because he wanted his family to stick together is in the gifset but I can anticipate that it's also to show the unfair contrast in how they treated Dark Emma)

It *is* a messy gifset, because most things made perfect sense in my head and are hard to explain on paper, and maybe I should title it: Emma vs Henry, Gold, Regina, Snow, Neal, Ingrid, Liam, Walsh, and occasionally David when he gets dragged in. Also because due to the limit of ten gifs = less than 3 mb each, it’s complicate to fit stuff.  But at the same time I feel like it's still... visible that David and Killian can't compare to those examples, due to number of mistakes, amount of times they apologized/were fought over them, and how Emma drags them for what they do at times (plural, I remember Emma being pretty sharp with both father and pirate around the end of s3). I could take away the 'not trusting your gut' block (which as I’ll explain in Snow’s case represents another issue too) and keep everything else the same and suddenly Killian and David wouldn't fit anymore, but Snow, Neal and Regina would still be there. Look at the gifset without that one stripe, and tell me in which blocks David and Killian would fit: the one where they insult her often? the one where they keep getting scared of her magic (which doesn’t even show the even more irritating way the writers had Snow not be as concerned for Emma later)? The one where they accuse her of ruining their lives after being the ones who ruined hers? the one where they belittle her pain about having been betrayed and abandoned or tell her she has everything and other similar concepts? The one where they try to control her with the dagger and enjoy it? The one where they tell her she's a villain/she's bad for not trusting other people or tell her she got pulled out of her problems instead of having to fight for it? The one where they consistently, often, make her feel not good enough?   Okay, David is still there for the insensitive bit of calling the baby Neal (though that's also on the writers, not just Snowing, because they kept glorifying him even in the au world where he didn’t fit) and for the team 'we don't trust the darkness' BUT even if I blame the baby name on the writers, there is a whole stripe of Snow really dropping the ball with her magic or being insensitive, and I could easily replace the not trusting gut stripe with 'occasions in which Emma needed support and we were shown Snow helping Regina' INCLUDING the same episode where Emma nearly ripped her magic off her. So Snow fits way better, could have a whole different stripe just for her, but it feels so ooc to have Snow so calm in those moments that I feel like I should just gif the writers for being asses. 

I’ll put under read more the explanation for each gif because it’s super long - I don’t know if you’ll read it, I can’t blame you if you don’t, but at least it’s here. I’ll bold some sentences to help. 

When it comes to how I made the gifset, the first gif isn't just Henry being rightfully upset about Emma taking Violet's heart, to me it's an example of Henry, the Henry who was Regina's fan for years, rejecting Emma and judging her for everything she did (which doesn’t exactly compare to what villains in ouat usually do) while comparing her to Gold and Regina who 'showed they have changed', even though Gold very recently showed he hasn't and is only helping because in trouble with Dark Hook (and was in the underworld because Emma threatened to tell Belle he had been lying to her about not being the Dark One anymore, which he was because he took the darkness away from a dying Killian) and a Regina who is very much still battling with horrible instincts but has everybody's constant presence and vocal support, and right next to that gif you find Henry furious at Emma over not trusting that Regina will choose to do good after Robin's horrible death and asking Regina to sit back, the same exact thing Regina did THE DAY BEFORE to Emma because she was 'too emotional' about Killian's death. It's the same Henry who when Regina shuts him out because Robin maybe will go back to Marian decides to wait outside her door (after sending her baskets if I'm not wrong), who keeps telling Regina she's not a villain, who kept trying to keep his family together, but he has always, always, been shorter with Emma. Henry, who later decided to trust Emma but only after closing off to her, telling her she couldn't go with them, and all the things in the speech of the first gif, is the same person who was so offended at the thought that Emma would doubt Regina. Henry has treated better people who *weren't* recently turned into Dark Ones and nearly lost their true love/lost it than he treated her, and it counts to me. Ongoing issue between Henry and Emma: he will always be harder on Emma than on anyone else, and unfairly too at times, because he can afford not trusting her and putting half of the effort he puts on Regina when she has a bad time, but Emma is bad for doubting Regina herself. So that, to me, already becomes a pattern, because even if I blame Neal for it, he did quickly turn on Emma in s2, he did react to 'Dark One Emma' with less hope/belief than he did around Regina's villain side, because hey, like I said, when Regina, in complete control of herself, thinks she might lose Robin to Marian, locks herself in the house, doesn't speak to him, doesn't let him in, Henry is sad and tries to get to her in every way. When Emma, filled with Dark One's magic (something she started using to save Robin right when she should have been avoiding it), who did turn fully only days before when Killian was literally dying, closes herself off because she's trying to figure out a plan to fix this and nobody can know Killian is a Dark One or Killian might find out, reacts like *that* and only later offers Emma some trust again. But Emma is a bad person for not trusting Regina immediately? Unfair.  And I do like Henry, and I’m all here for Swan Believer, but that is an ongoing problem that should have been addressed/solved. 

Plus it wasn't just Henry, it was everybody in that room in that first gif. Though in Henry’s case it does connect to a bigger issue that is specific of the two of them.

And under that, examples of people not having changed all that much despite what Henry claimed and not exactly deserving of Emma’s trust, ongoing issues such as Gold constantly putting her life and Killian’s life in danger and getting forgiven and welcomed back in the family constantly, so Emma has to be okay with it. Ongoing issue with Regina: Regina gets to tell her the most awful things and is still justified, a good guy, and Emma reacting would lead to a serious fight and who knows what else.  - Gold recently trying to kill her, same day he took Killian's heart, when he was still considered an ally (I could have also put gifs later of the things I mentioned earlier but by then Emma saw him as an enemy), Regina's speech to an Emma who had just been through all that pain about how she wanted to kill Killian but resisted it (and how she doesn't like doing good but does, and how it doesn't change that she doesn't get a full happy ending - even though nobody there does with the lives they led - and how Emma was *pulled* out of darkness) 

And right under those two you get examples of Snow being scared of Emma's powers which likely did remind Emma the whole very badly phrased sentence of 'she's not what I wanted' and brought up also the 'you don't trust me' as Dark One. I don't have to explain why it's a pattern for Regina to act that way. Or how you get six different scenes with focus on Snow in which she let Emma down that way. (to bring back the two men missing, David and Killian weren't reacting in insensitive ways to her magic, 'you are not what I wanted' was unnecessary and not from David, David IS part of the scene where nobody wanted to trust Dark One Emma, and I'll explain the not trusting Emma's gut a scene later because it represents something else too. Though it does make me feel a bit better that David was shown to be losing it, in his office, about being unable to help Dark One Emma, I'll give you that in terms of biased). Ongoing issue with Snow: choosing the most insensitive way to deal with their problems and showing lack of trust in Emma/her powers (and being possibly the most calm person later when Emma was giving up her magic) 

In the ones under that, Regina also telling Emma she's acting like Cora, she lost the moral high ground, she's a villain, and the whole 'you were pulled out of darkness' as if she wasn't treated that way. Right under that, several examples of Regina insulting Emma. Clearly not something I can say Snow, or David or Killian do. Ongoing issues with Regina: she villanizes Emma at every turn, she had her ‘reasons why you suck’ speech ready when Emma was the Dark One yet still claims Emma was pulled out of the darkness (by them?) and can’t understand what Regina goes through. 

Right under that. Emma having been through a very bad life after coming to this world and Regina's you ruined my life, right next to Lily taking away another big chance Emma had to be in a good family for a while (and lying and all that) and then going 'you ruined my life'.  Ongoing issue with Regina (and Lily): even though I made your life a living hell, you don’t understand my pain and you ruined mine. 

Under that, Regina 'you have everything' so I chose to put Ingrid, another person who let her down, even though in this case Emma did get to be mad, because Emma went from bad family to bad family and then in the streets, and THEN, under that, because I mentioned the situation with Ingrid, I decided to put how Walsh, her 'fiance', was just there to control her, raped her by deception by that, tried to kill her, and wasn't even human, and Liam had one chance to have a conversation with Emma and it was like *that*. Which doesn't make it a perfect gifset, but I just kept basically going with the last ring of the chain and connecting to the last things. But it also show three entire relationships that were basically fully based on bad things from beginning to end with a bit of a redeeming moment for Liam and Ingrid. Admittedly they were more there as 'other random people who hurt her feelings a lot and Emma didn't get to vent all that much, plus it wasn't an exception to an otherwise nice relationship, it was a mess from beginning to end'. Something I cannot say about her parents or husband. Though again, I do like Ingrid and Liam. Especially Ingrid, my heart broke for her. Sort of ongoing issue with Ingrid and Walsh: the entire relationship was them trying to get Emma where they wanted her to be, lying and betraying her.  Ongoing-ish Issue with Liam: in the short span they knew each other he judged her and lied. Less fitting than the others. 

The people not trusting Emma's gut block connects to the Neal block and yes, Snow and DAVID naming their baby Neal, but also, in Snow's case too, IS a pattern of ignoring what Emma says about Neal while David is more cautious and asks things - I'll explain as much as I can without having rewatched s2 and s3 in years: with Neal and Regina it's obvious why it represents a bigger problem, with David it wouldn't because otherwise David tries to not assume what Emma wants when talking to her, he's... quieter. With Snow? It also represents Emma trying to tell her several times she's unhappy about Neal (the phonecall from Manhattan, the attempt to talk about how she kissed Killian, but also yes, Tamara) and Snow still acting as if she knows that in reality Emma just wants to be with him. As much as I do love Snow, so I'm not sure of how the whole biased thing comes into play here, because I do believe that me now loving David more depends on the fact that I haven't seen the same behaviors from him, not constantly, and it does count for me that he needed convincing from Snow several times even if he relented at the end, since I started the show adoring both of them and then WITH TIME my appreciation for Snow diminished when it comes to her dealing with Emma. Ongoing issue with Snow showed here: dismissing Emma’s words several times so the conversation could go back to what Snow believed to be true.  Ongoing issue with Regina and Neal there, similarly: not believing in Emma’s skills/her words 

... also because the writers wanted Regina to have a good ally and picked Snow, and honestly I find ooc that many times Snow wasn't just as involved and agitated as David when Emma wasn't okay. EVEN IF Snow's reactions to Emma's magic were understandable in context, though she could have sure as hell handled them better - it was ridiculous the way she held baby Neal back and shook her head looking down as if afraid Emma was going to kill them both for it, why didn't she just say 'Emma you just warmed up the baby bottle too much, can you wait a minute? You know how anxious I get about the baby' - in the end they were all coming from her even if she kept dragging David into it by making it 'our reaction' instead of 'my reaction', yet at the very end I remember in that episode everybody looking for Emma but Snow being so CHILL about it, walking and talking about Regina's love life? Able to focus on that when Emma was possibly destroying a part of her as they spoke? So the few gifs of Snow represent both that, and the bit I said about lack of trust that Henry is only mad about when it comes to Regina. The writers piled up behaviors that I disliked on Snow, which is why she's in the gifset while they feel far less of a pattern with David. Snow is the one who said the most insensitive sentence in Neverland, Snow was the parent convinced Neal was Emma's love and Emma was jealous, Snow was the one who kept having conversations with Regina or about Regina and suggesting parties and all that while Emma was alone/in pain/looking for ways to take her magic out. Even in the Underworld we got some Snow/Regina friendship. Snow is the one who was so sure they had to find a way to take out any possibility that Emma would turn evil (bullshit plot that makes no sense) because of the unicorn. Snow loved Emma so much, it's visible, it's not a matter of not caring, but she was the leading force of many mistakes and due to plot reasons showed far less worry and realistic reactions so she ended up here too.

And last block, a little mix of Regina's irony 'the more you try to help the worse you make my life' = helping her in Camelot by controlling her with the dagger. You don't think of consequences = begging Emma to save Robin. And right with that 'you never had my back' and enjoying her second use of the dagger to command Emma to shut up. Ongoing issues with Regina: lack of respect, enjoying  physically controlling Emma, blaming Emma for everything while it’s acceptable if she does the same, exaggerating Emma’s flaws so make herself a victim and insulting Emma at every viable turn. 

If I had added ALL the scenes I decided not to put, not just Killian at the date (because again, the underworld doesn't fit at all, not when he apologized and it was the one time he went NOPE) or... David not being sure about Henry 'not being okay' after Neverland, but all the other scenes from Regina and Neal and Gold and Snow, I'm sure that the reaction would have been the exact same of the original gifset, simply because 'ah look, the one time Killian and David are there it's because they are hammering the concept that Emma should try to enjoy some of her free time and not always be alert, meanwhile the others gratuitously insult her or hurt her or abandon her when in literal danger of losing herself'. Even if they were all here and you compared them to the gut feeling block only you get 'Neal and Regina never trusted her, Killian and David want her to take a break on being the Savior for a day and Mary Margaret is telling her she's too emotional for her skill to work'.

I didn't put Killian and David because there was no pattern of continuous lack of belief/support, let alone an Emma who was always so submissive about it, and I didn't put August who *had* a pattern because he did his best to fix it and Emma got to be mad at him too, then let it go but he's not there making it worse. I guess I could erase Ingrid to make it look better, but that does fit another general theme that is 'Emma's life suck'? Though considering that Ingrid's whole relationship with Emma *was* about lying and manipulating, just like Walsh even if with better intentions, it kinda fits better than people making a couple of mistakes while normally loving and supporting her. So thinking about it, it still fits. Because they are not exceptions to a rule, they are all part of a bigger picture of either insults, lack of belief, lack of sensitivity, unfairness, or more than one at a time, and that allowed to me make many gifs because there were many scenes, or  to make a gif to represent the bigger issue (Again, Ingrid is the example, or Walsh).

So in conclusion, the pattern has to be: 'people systematically doing these things to Emma and Emma either never bringing those things up or even thanking them for their friendship and support OR people Emma got to be mad at but whose entire relationship/interactions were on false premises anyway and they did end up hurting her no matter what (and let's be honest, there wasn't even that much venting about it after)'. David and Killian don't fit, they fit the pattern of messing up a couple of times, the couple of times I actually mentioned in the other reply so you know it's not a constant, and sometimes even apologizing for it, but having otherwise a regular relationship with Emma where yeah, sometimes they argue, which is healthy, sometimes one of the three lets it go, sometimes apologies are required, but you can also make many gifs of the two men being like 'I believe in you!' 'you can do this!' which helps a lot. You can’t say “damn it, David/Killian, you always end up doubting Emma/you always get scared easily/you always have less patience and understanding with her!” it’s not a big Issue, especially not one that never gets talk about. 

So yeah I'm biased, but I still feel that I'm biased BECAUSE I can write all of this, not that I'm writing all of it because I'm biased.

#anti gold #anti regina #henry critical #snow critical #anti ouat #alltoosure

[pkgam]

Oh look at that, we’re going back to the past, lol! This is like a 4-for-1 topic here.

That Movies cause violence.

That Video Games cause violence.

Taxation as a deterrent for mature stuff.

The ol’ gun control debate.

The first two were brought up at the same time and they are similar: The belief that watching something fictional that is violent will cause you to be violent. :P I know I talked about this before, but since it’s brought up again in a more recent time period with some different aspects, I might as well reiterate with some new counter points. I can attest that I have played some of the most over the top video games in history, even as a kid/teen, and I am the biggest pacifists you’ll probably ever meet, lol! Conker’s Bad Fur Day was one of them when I grew up. It came out in 2001 and I was 12, but I still was allowed to get and play it. My family knew that I understood fantasy from reality. The same with any other game really. Though the argument is that some are more influenced by it. You know, like if someone has a mental health issue. But I don’t know why violent video games and movies always get the blame. Maybe they find they are easier targets since rap and rock music has since been understood and accepted and the “dangers” of video games and movies are still being debated.

So what about taxing the games and movies? “Supposedly” they would allocate the money to mental health in schools. But if you know anything about taxes and government programs involving gathering more money, you know that what they say money is going into isn’t usually what is happening. XD Money tends to get “moved", so to speak. See, there was always a program for mental health in schools, so what would happen is that they would use the tax money for said mental health like they said, but move the money that was already in said programs to something else. They do it with stuff like the lottery too. What they said when they made the lottery is that lottery profits goes into schools, so you’d think that the schools would be funded more than what they had before. Nope, their original money got moved to other things. So they often disguise a supposed benefit to something so people go for it so they can move funds around to something else they want. Bills being “called” one thing rarely have any relation to what’s actually “in” them. There could be a bill that is called the “national paper cleanup project” marketed as litter cleaning but it’s actual intent may be to move funds to the environmental-destroying oil industry. Politics in the U.S. 101.

Next is of course when a shooting happens, gun control is brought up. Obviously people with violent tendencies and/or have mental health issues that may cause them to be violent should not be able to get their hands on any gun. But I have to wonder what could be done to stop it. You can close the loopholes like gun show sales without licenses or whatnot, but it’s not like someone couldn’t acquire a gun by some other means. Theft, making it themselves, the black market... So many options for them. People cite Australia as being a good example of gun control, but shootings were already at a downward trend before they even took the guns from people, plus the U.S. has something Australia doesn’t on guns: The right to bear arms. Right in the constitution. People then argue that the guns they had when that was written was like... a musket that took 5 minutes to reload and that gun tech has far advanced. Which no one could argue that gun firing rates vastly improved. But trying to eliminate that from the constitution in a society that is very gun-loving could potentially start a civil war which would cause a LOT more deaths. There’s also the whole “AR-15/assault rifle ban” thing which is strange because knives actually are used to kill more people than rifles. XD Plus the term “assault rifle” is basically a made-up political term to try and put guns into a category that have no sporting purpose, even if they are used in stuff like the Olympics for sport shooting. The same with “semi-automatic” as that’s a term used for anything that reloads itself with cartridges. So... even pistols could be classified as that. :P

Oh... but it gets better! The White House actually released a video of all sorts of video game violence in a compilation of sorts. XD Yes, the ACTUAL White House Youtube channel. You can watch the embed using the link near the bottom of the article, but it of course contains fantasy graphic violence and all that, so you can choose whether or not to do so.

If you watch that, you can see that there is a lot of missing context to things, lol! At 0:37 for instance the game itself will tell you before playing it that you can skip the mission if you want (like I said about the video above.) as they warn it may be "disturbing or offensive". If you do play it however, the character you are will be a part of a Russian group to frame Americans. But for that part the player doesn't have to be made to do a single thing. That was the idea by the developers: To get the player to hesitate "because" it was such a bad scenario to be in. It worked too as it got many such reactions. There’s also another thing about the video: A lot of it wasn’t really gun violence. The very first clip was even a guy being interrogated, an interrogator flipping out and then bludgeoning the interrogated. Needless to say the video got downvoted and debunked to oblivion, then The White House set the video to unlisted. :P Why they didn’t outright delete it I don’t know, though maybe they don’t know how to use Youtube. Technology obviously doesn’t seem to be their top subject, lol!

But ok, so they show a bunch of violence in games as a supposed example of it influencing others to be violent. How true is it? Well, this has been debated for quite a long time. In fact, games like the original Mortal Combat and Doom were basically the reason the ESRB was formed. Someone figured it would be a good idea to categorize games based on violence, sex, language, etc... and age-separate them as recommendations to parents and whatnot. Incredibly Trump had no idea the ESRB even existed as he said games and movies should have a rating system. Though on another hand, He also said that violent games are ok for his son, but not for other’s. o_o There’s obviously a tremendous amount of conflicts just in those two sentences, lol! Let’s see... since he doesn’t think movies have a rating system, how do the workers know not let kids into movies with sex/nudity without parental supervision? How does he know if a game is violent without looking at the rating? Online reviews or playing it himself? How is it that he understands his kid is ok with violent games but would still want to restrict them for other kids? It’s like he doesn’t think parents are parenting, lol! That may be the case with some... but you’ve really gotta wonder how many shooters actually are gamers.

Turns out 80% of shooters had no interest in video games. XD Numerous studies through the years on whether or not violent video games cause violence have come to the same conclusion: There is no correlation between the two. What IS a common thing with mass shooters though is that they tend to have some sort of mental health issue, (That is probably why/how they came up with the “allocate funds to mental health in schools” thing.) which makes the most sense because even the angriest of people know not to resort to violence:

XD

So since this has been debunked over and over for many years now, all of this begs the question: Why is it that politicians keep targeting video games? Well... it’s quite possible that they are using it as a scapegoat. Trump for instance has been speculated to have been bribed by the National Rifle Association’s lobbying so he instead focused his attention elsewhere however illogical as it is. Not that I think that an age restriction would do anything considering the aforementioned black market, gun shows, theft, etc.., but lobbying does have a very strong influence here even if it’s not supposed to. Some even call it an Oligarchy. I don’t think it’s gotten “that” bad here yet, but no doubt money has a very strong influence on politicians. The game industry even fights back with it���s own lobbying. So money leads to stuff, just like throughout history. :P Not’ saying that is the case here, but that is a part of the speculation and may be a possibility.

Speaking of history... Violence was around FAR before video games even existed. Video games, movies, TV shows, etc... are merely made in response to something that already happened by depicting it as itself or as a fantasy scenario. Call Of Duty is often set in World War 2, but World War 2 and all it’s atrocities came LONG before the CoD games set in that time period. So to try and remove instances of violence from media is like to try and forget any kind of violence ever happened to begin with. I am not sure that removing instances of violence would really help to prevent violence in all honesty as it may actually increase it. As the saying by George Santayana goes: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”. Basically it’s a way of saying to learn from the past’s mistakes. So how about focusing on some education in their public speeches and/or meetings rather than “ban this or that”? They don’t omit World War 2 from real History books, so why omit it from fantasy video games? Seems backwards.

Your thoughts? Thanks for reading and have a good one!

#violence #video #games #back #to #the #past #shooter #shooting #mass #killing #kills #killers #muderers #mental #health

[sharethisgemwithme]

“Dewey Wins” instant reaction

It's about damn time.

Steven's back and, well, who's to say where we go from here?

PREVIOUSLY ON STEVEN UNIVERSE: A bunch of humans were abducted by Aquamarine and Topaz, the last of them Connie. As they attempted to find Greg ("mydad"), Steven instead gave himself up as diamond-killer Rose Quartz, and was taken to Homeworld. Lars accidentally tagged along. The two escaped and were found by an assortment of off-color Homeworld gems, but an attack resulted in Lars's brief death. Steven brought him back to life as a Lion-like pink being with wormhole hair, which he was able to use to get home. And now...

Tonight: "Dewey Wins". Right. I have nothing against townie episodes, and I understand the need to go back-and-forth with the heavy stuff, but this is a bit awkward of a followup. Potentially. Somewhere in this batch of six episodes, we're definitely making more progress on the gems telling us stuff, but this episode seems to be packed enough, that I don't know if it will fit here.

My predictions: First of all, disclaimer. I've seen the commercials, and the NYCC preview (which is as far as I know, the first two minutes), so I know Connie's sullen and Steven is unjustifiably smug (seriously, having just watched Wanted again, he is in tears for large portions, but I guess he found time in the last five months to once again convince himself he's just too tough to cry). I also sorta saw the episode titles, but I didn't really pay attention to them, or note their order (and I did my best to avoid the synopses of future episodes). So my predictions are colored by all that, but... If this is not a "Dewey Defeats Truman" joke, I am seriously baffled by the choice of episode title. So, that means that Nanefua is gonna become the new mayor by the end of the episode. Insert joke about an old person with a history of harassment winning an election in a stunning upset. As to the Connie plot, I think there will be a further conversation either about or with Connie, but I do think that Connie being upset with Steven for his actions will continue for a little longer. What he did was reckless, and for him to not even reflect on how he hurt those around him is cold and, frankly, a bit out-of-character.

All this intro is long, and for the benefit of those on mobile who can’t blacklist, the rest is below a cut.

All that out of the way, time to watch the episode! I'm watching via on-demand, and will start the clock with "We!" As always, first time I'm watching straight through with no pauses or rewinds.

[pre-start] I do notice the new episodes are marked as TV-G rather than TV-PG. Don't know if that means anything (or is a mistake). Also, LOL at the pre-show ad being for Match.com.

0:00 - And it's not in HD. Boo, Optimum. 0:20 - Lamar and Jeff for this one. 0:31 - They all look so glum. And they're right too. 0:40 - But Connie is the most pissed of all of them. 0:53 - None of this is stuff that should be said so happily. 1:09 - "But..." 1:18 - Massive missing of the point there, Steven. 1:30 - Regardless of Stevonnie, everyone was willing to work together. 1:44 - "Except for Lars", little bit flippant there, buddy. 2:00 - Didn't seem like a tough decision. 2:10 - Lion disapproves of your shenanigans. 2:22 - Sadie's not happy. Shockingly enough. 2:33 - "Also, he's kinda dead." 2:48 - THAT'S KINDA IMPORTANT TO DO. 3:04 - Here comes a new candidate. 3:28 - What the hell, Steven. This is not more important. 3:45 - This is a weak chant. 3:57 - THIS IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT. 4:05 - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU GOING TO TALK TO DANTE AND MARTHA? Come on, dude! 4:24 - No! That would not have made things better! 4:40 - Why are you supporting him anyway? 5:06 - Have... you... have you told the parents yet? They're right there. 5:28 - "Everyone is safe." NO. Thanks, Sadie. 5:45 - Way to go, Sadie! 6:02 - OH YOU FUCKING IDIOT. 6:25 - Well deserved tomato to the face. 6:44 - Seriously, why are you supporting him?! What's wrong with Nanefua? 6:58 - Let's remember how well that book worked for Steven. Oh wait, it didn't. 7:20 - Jesus christ, this dude. 7:44 - "Speech-a-palooza". I chuckled. 8:22 - Do you have somewhere you're going with this? 8:40 - OK. And now Nanefua with the killshot? 8:58 - Oh boy, she's gonna blame Steven. 9:13 - "I will point them at Steven" 9:29 - Oh. That was surprisingly... nice. 9:55 - But what will we call Mayor Dewey if he's not Mayor anymore? 10:24 - This is not the thing to invest your energy in, Steven. 10:37 - Oh! You're making progress, without meaning it. Much like "Political Power" 10:54 - Thanks, Dewey. 11:05 - This leaves something to build on.

IMMEDIATE THOUGHTS: So this ending reminds me of "Political Power", obviously. In "Power", Steven makes the connection between Dewey lying to the town to make them feel better, and the Gems lying to Steven to make him feel better. Here, it's the analogy of Steven letting Connie down and... ok I'm not gonna lie, it's been three minutes since I watched the episode, and I can't quite place what the analogue in the Dewey situation was. There's a reason Dewey was able to say "Yeah I don't know what you're talking about", I guess. The other episode this ending reminds me of, right around the same time, is "Full Disclosure". Here, instead of Connie repeatedly calling and being ignored by Steven (the most callous he'd ever been until now), it's Steven trying to call Connie to ask forgiveness, and getting the cold shoulder. And given that he blew off her concerns, and then was flippant as all hell about "Oh hey, the mayoral election I didn't know was happening until just now is more important, can't hang out today", I don't blame her!

Second watch notes:

In the most recent episode of the official podcast, Matt or Ben mentioned how Connie and Lion have had an unspoken connection between them from the beginning, as they specifically brought up them working together to save Steven at the end of "Ocean Gem". That comes back here, as they ride off together without Steven. Does Lion just hang out at her place now?

Steven's most important power has always been reading the emotional temperature of the room. Him being so bad at it in the opening scene is painful.

There have been complaints of late about weak animation, and I think there's merit to those arguments (like the crowd at Nanefua's speech remaining frozen in place for a bit), but I do like the "camera" "focusing" on Steven and then "refocusing" on Connie during the last lines of their conversation.

Kate Micucci putting in a solid performance in this episode. Just want to throw that out there.

I might not have immediately noticed this if GC-13 of The Lunar Sea Spire podcast hadn't mentioned it, but the avatar of Ian JQ being present to cheer on Nanefua (modeled after his grandmother) is amusing.

Given the apparent outrage at Dewey for not doing anything, how is Steven not instantly a pariah when he says "Oh yeah, totally my fault." Does everyone just already dislike Dewey?

By the way, what a rift this must be causing within the Cool Kids. Is Sour Cream being forced to choose sides? Or is even Buck all "yeah I hope he loses"?

The economy of Beach "City" has always been baffling. The notion that the mayor thinks he can hire a new employee at a chain donut shop is an impressive amount of silly.

Ronaldo at the debate on his phone. Clearly typing up another KBCW post.

Nanefua will make a great mayor. She's already got the "emotional-sounding, and absolutely content-free speech" thing down pat.

OK, reaching the end I have now refreshed my memory on the Dewey-Steven analogy. Steven was taking the role of Connie, thinking that he was in a partnership that could do great things together, but the other member just gave up. The reason I forgot the analogy the first time around was because it doesn't make any fuckin' sense for Steven to have this level of devotion to Dewey (compared to Connie's belief in Steven), but that's where we were going with this, I guess.

Credits: No one credited for the generic townspeople, including the red-haired Southern-sounding woman at Dewey's first speech.

#steven universe #instant reaction #su liveblog #dewey wins #su spoilers #su unaired

[wickymicky]

i got tagged by @chuukitten like a month ago lmao oops

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people (im too lazy lol im sorry i just like to talk about myself so thats what im gonna do HAHA)

im gonna put this under a read more cause it got long

1. nickname: my bf calls me cube

2. zodiac: i dont do zodiac shit lol sorry

3. height: i dont actually know, im bad with remembering things like that

4. hogwarts house: the “fuck jk rowling” house (okay fine im hufflepuff)

5. last thing i googled: farmersonly… dont worry about it

6. favorite musicians: i mean yall know my kpop ones haha… loona, dreamcatcher, fromis 9, pentagon, exid, red velvet, twice, eyedi, weki meki, etc……. outside of kpop oh man where do i begin… its tough cause ive basically only listened to kpop in 2019 but okay so i’d say the band idles, death grips, grimes, streetlight manifesto, huh idk i have a lot that i like but i dont know who else i would consider my “favorites” at the moment

7. song stuck in my head: right now its pirate king by ateez

8. following: 1800 lol

9. followers: on this blog 264, but 724 on my main

10. do you get asks: occasionally

11. amount of sleep: i should sleep way, way more than i do

12. what are you wearing: pajamas

13. dream job: hmmm. i mean i dont dream of working, i dont have a dream “job”, but if the question is about my dream “thing i wanna do a lot of in my life” then i guess my answer is… idk… something where i can just engage in whatever is interesting to me at the moment. like in the vein of my tumblr blogs where i can just post and talk about stuff im interested in. idk if that means being a youtuber or journalist or just someone who does something else and engages in my interests as a hobby, but yeah. or something to do with linguistics of course. though like i dont wanna be a teacher and thats basically the only path lmao (that i would even consider, anyway)

14. dream trip: you know i dont actually have a lot of interest in travel. idk, it stresses me out. i cant think about going places without worrying about how i’ll get around, what i’ll be doing, what i’ll be able to eat since i have a lot of food anxieties… idk. if someone i love wanted to go on a trip with me i’d probably be down, but i dont really know on my own.

15. instruments: i wish i could do music lol

16. languages: are amazing and i love them. okay fine lol i only speak english, but i took german in middle and high school, i took latin in high school as well, then took latin and ancient greek in college, and then after college i did a lot of looking into hungarian, vietnamese, a little bit of indonesian, turkish, and polish, and then recently i’ve been pretty focused on korean for obvious reasons. i speak none of those languages tho, lol. if i heard someone speaking some of those i could get the gist of what types of things theyre talking about most likely, but honestly my whole thing with languages is that im more interested in learning about the intricacies of how languages work and especially how they change over time than i am in actually learning the language. i’d love if my dumb adhd brain allowed me to focus hard enough and really commit to becoming fluent in a second language because so far i’ve only steadily approached being barely conversational, i’ve never actually reached even that point yet lol. and being only fluent in english makes me feel like a stupid american lol. i pick up bits of language really easily, but the rigor of learning ALL the vocab and ALL the little details you need to become actually fluent is where i fall off. 

like whenever i go through an anime phase, i pick up lots and lots of japanese. like if they keep using a word i’ll see it in the subtitles and figure that it must mean that, and then i’ll pay attention to the endings they use and how they inflect it and i’ll make little inferences about what those signify, so then when i hear a word that i dont recognize but it has a grammatical ending that i know, i can infer the meaning of the word from context, and im going through this same learning process with korean now and it’s super super fun and i’m loving how much progress ive made (though i could have been making progress like three times as fast if i was actually taking a korean class)… but the actual work of learning common phrases, learning the sheer volume of vocab, all that stuff… yeah that’s where i fall off. so idk how fluent i’ll get in korean, but i’m down to find out, lol. maybe this is the one i’ll really try to focus on and achieve it with!

17. 10 favorite songs as of now: of all time????? um okay i cant possibly do that without spending a looong time thinking about it, so i’ll just do the first ten songs that come to my mind when i think of songs that i adore more than most others

keep the streets empty for me by fever ray

colossus by idles

watch it crash by streetlight manifesto

lucky girl by fazerdaze

realiti (demo) by grimes

egoist by loona (olivia hye)

picky picky by weki meki

mother by idles

peekaboo by red velvet

hi high by loona

18. if you were an animal: red panda maybe haha

19. favorite food: pizza cause im a garbage trash person

20. random fact: idk... if yall couldnt tell and didnt already know this, i’m a linguist haha. i went to school for linguistics, i majored in linguistics and classics (latin, ancient greek, etc) though honestly i was only into the languages, roman and greek history is cool and all but not really what i’m most into. majoring in classics was a mistake lol but oh well. i didnt end up graduating though because of unrelated reasons.... adhd, depression, just a general sense that the way the whole system works just wasnt made for me and it didnt click with me and ive never been good at forcing myself to be good at school... and like i was tired of hearing from professors that i have “a very organized mind when it comes to linguistics stuff” (something a greek professor said that meant a lot to me) or that i “understand how language works better than most other students my age” and that im a natural and that its impressive how nuanced my understanding of these concepts is.... while also failing or almost failing all of the classes whose professors said that about me. like basically all those statements were followed by a “, but” or a “, so if you just-”.... sigh. so i guess i’m not “actually” a linguist. whatever “actually” means there. 

so other random fact i guess, which is still related but anyway... i have a conlang! that’s a constructed language. ive been working on a language for like 6 or 7 years. its at a state right now where it’s not really something i can just like... speak? it was at one point, maybe. but basically what i like to do is try out various ideas i have about language and phonology and morphology, so my language is kind of like a sandbox lol. if youre a scientist you conduct experiments, if youre a linguist i think you should try making a conlang. its not a common hobby but its something i spend an unconscionable amount of time thinking about lol. like basically 24/7. i’m almost always thinking about my word for x thing im seeing or thinking about, or like some sound change i heard that some language had, and how that would sound if applied to the words in my language... 

like the reason my language isnt at a point right now where i can speak it is because getting into korean has made me think about massively reconfiguring how the grammar works. its always been kinda like latin and german, cause those are what i was taking when i started, and then it got kinda like ancient greek, so the grammar has/had a lot of complicated conjugations that are just honestly so superfluous... its such a mess lol... i have a much better understanding of how those systems come about in language now, so even if i remake my language to have verb conjugations like latin or greek, it’d be a much more coherent and natural system than the one thats existed in my language for years... but after learning about hungarian and korean in particular, i really wanna try making it a lot more logical like those languages are. but my big thing is phonology (speech sounds), so i just get hung up on sound changes and cool new consonants and vowels to add, so i keep putting off actually fixing my language lol. also ive become attached to my awful, amateurish words haha. im so bad at this... a real conlanger like tolkien or the dude who made the languages for game of thrones would look at mine and scoff haha. most of my words are just straight up stolen from words in latin, german, many others, but predominantly... english. i just mangle english words and call it my own lol, and ive been trying to replace those words with original ones that i made up arbitrarily... like my word for nose is just “nass” and my word for dog is “handir” which is just based on english “hound” and german “Hund” and stuff lol. i wanna change those

21. my aesthetic: if you actually read this long ass post, you know that my aesthetic is just “too much information” but not in a sexy way or even an interesting way

#personal #kitty #long post #writing #idk i should have a tag for stuff people tagged me in #tagged

[cafephan]

dan and phil play my horse prince #3: a summary

two seconds in and already a questionable horse impression okay time to strap in for another weird one 

"i knew you were going to start clopping" 

clopping??? klopping???? clopping looks better so i'm going with that 

"cloppity clop when will we stop.... is the question many of you have been asking" aw they saw my tweets 

dan licked his lips as he looked over to phil SAME 

he is wearing the ladybird jumper so i agree 

remember the ladybird jumper selfie??? let's take a moment 

okay back to the video 

it was a nice moment of remembrance though right 

anyway 

"i like a good divisive series" 

"this is our great youtube controversy, phil" 

those people that are uncomfortable, it's legit the same level of sexual tension dnp have on a regular basis just in the form of a girl and horse like,,, it's 2017 the hat/cherry/lung/milk/kitten/whatever else fic exists there are more disturbing things out there

they're validating those of you though, good for you i'm happy for your notices

"it's not literal bestiality" // "it's just a lol" "a nice little lol... just a casual lol" 

"i think we should do this one and see how we feel" i mean finally putting that positions book to good use 

there's not much eye contact so far are they okay 

i think recently we've been spoilt with eye contact and now we're feeling like something's wrong because they're not gawking at each other 

"so whether you want to or not, strap yourselves in for ten minutes of erotic equine roleplay"

phil demonstrating that sweet sweet hand porn 

"i don't think we should've encouraged you with the fanart" story of your life innit lads 

congrats to those phanartists that got noticed!! you're very talented and i appreciate you!!! 

i appreciate the last one which highlights the shaved sides i liked that a lot ty

"the less we talk about that the better" legit the phandom about 2012 

dan's reaction to the fanart,,, get those screenshots 

"keep it coming.... or don't, it's up to you" phil pls you're making it too easy for me 

"do you need to do that though?" // "i do, it's a thing now" living for the little domestic i feel deprived 

"dog. dog has a moustache." 

"phil that makes no sense" as if u never make any mistakes howell phil's waiting to call you out like the absolute savage that he is 

remember the thomas the tank engine fuck-up, phil was right on that 

phil's laugh my ears are blessed 

they have two very different reactions to a horse making breakfast 

i found another of dan's kinks who's keeping tabs on them all we've got another to add to the list 

"what's a good... lad? one that makes breakfast, the morning after" is that a subtle wink wink nudge nudge, daniel 

"i'm hyped. this, this is, this is a soap." dan is so excited he's tripping on his words 

he's staring at phil okay world order has been restored 

"you know you love it, stop lying to yourself" // "you love it. just thumbs it up anyway, if you don't like it" 

i love the detailed hair angles we get when they both look down on the screen i appreciate it a lot 

do you think phil will ever ditch the straighteners 

"that's really posh" phil the savage already getting his revenge

congrats hp stans for phil dropping that reference 

did they just compare all of our mums to a horse 

"anyone that exudes glitter and makes sure that you're resting on the weekend... that's who you need in your life" 

"maybe susankun's on the crunchy nut like us" i bet you both are 

maybe see a doctor about that 

i'm not sorry 

"am i the dog? i think i'm the dog" phil says after barking and effectively claiming the role of the dog 

"you just frickin volunteered" dan the savage 

"that was some good borks" so any excuse to compliment phil huh

"what is this video" me every time i read these summaries before posting them, i relate phil 

"some good pottery" 

"unless this is a magnetic knife, how is the horse holding it? with that horse thumb he's just gonna grow?" 

dan demonstrates the claw technique 

look at that hand movement fluidity this ain't his first rodeo 

dan... are u ok.... you've just been in this position for four seconds... 

turned into seven seconds, the longest seven seconds of my life.... is it one of the new 7sc they tweeted out for

“can i stroke him?” // “i’ll give him a stroke”

lanky emo lads fawn over hairbrush functions

that sounded like a weird porn didn’t it oh god no

“look at this roleplay, we nintendogs now”

“oh yeah, feel my brush” 

dan gives that side-eye, he doesn’t like phil saying that to anyone else

the singing quota for this video has been filled

thought they were going to give us a sweet harmony for don’t speak and do no doubt proud but nope dan decides to parody it

this is not the harmony i wanted stop singing a weird cult theme or whatever the fuck it is

leek or spring onion will we ever know

phil is intent on killing simulations recently is he ok

“sorry guys” dan is on hand to comfort us

may need to rethink some comfort fic prompts i have

“is it okay? is anything about this okay?” if the existential crisis branding was still relevant he’d be on the floor rn

“shall we have a chat? a little horsey chinwag?” yes phil come back to your northern roots i’ve missed you

“a really long-faced chinwag” you tried dan but you will always be a southerner you can’t pull off chinwag

“is a carrot a fruit?” mister university asking the real question

is dan actually googling it

“AHA it was to catch us out for being an idiot!” i mean, you googled it so.... aren’t you still an idiot

phil is an orange kinda guy, dan is a grapefruit kinda guy...... explains a lot if you think about it

“he hates me again!” // “i can’t believe he hates me again, straight away...” pretty sure i’ve read that exact line of dialogue in a fic before

“what can i say? i’m more in tune with my inner.... horse... man”

casual head scratch as he silently prays for nobody to pick up on that quote

“deep fry anything, and that’s a winner”

“the choices hurt me so bad”

trying to justify this game just falls flat

no amount of meaningful speeches are rectifying it dan

but it’s not stopping him trying

oh he’s stopped now

“i think we should get our things back”

“this is our life” enjoy u demons

“great. i love my life” phil i just don’t even know what to say stop looking like you’re showing a lemon a good time 

take out the lemon and stare at your wavy haired companion

if i used that line in a fic would you disown me

what kind of accent did dan just try to say field in because he sounded like me

“a horse can’t go on rollercoasters is what i’m thinking” // “can a horse go to the cinema?” “no, he’s going to get in the way of everyone’s screen” wow dan and phil, damperers of horse dreams since their corresponding years of birth

“yes, dan’s credit card is about to spend more money on this horse app” of course it’s dan that volunteers his card, phil would never 

he’s the voice of emo goose he only spends money on luxury apps

mister moneybags high brands stan has no problem forking it out tho good for you son get some

“i am this entire developer’s number one supporter” me when dapg was announced

the frenzy time music is something special

“phil you’re doing the impossible quiz again and that is like ten out of ten banned” younger kirsten is crying

phil’s real laugh comes out to play again welcome back old friend i love you

“is she falling in love with the dog? is that what we’re asking?”

phil’s voice is like monotone throughout all of these videos he couldn’t give less of a shit

he’s just humouring dan’s kink(s)

dan stop criticising phil’s horse voice you can’t have it all for yourself all of the time we need as much of it as you do

“i am ready for this” me whenever they upload on a day that’s not the same day i’m posting a fic

there are very different theories about the multitude of onions

again phil’s includes death

i’m beginning to expect it

“oh he’s gone a bit sassy”

“passive aggressive.... okay” dan we feel the same way when we found out phil’s sent a dm

“i feel it coming.... i feel it coming... are you ready? am i ready?”

“that’s just dreamy. i’m in love with that” // “that is dreamy. i’d like that as a poster in my bathroom” 

“that is the thickest spring onion i have ever seen in my entire life” // “it’d take a lot of gnashing” phil demonstrates said gnashing thank you for showing those teggies

“look at the girth on that one” you know what you did dan don’t blame us when the fics come rolling in

the onion fic

“how do you not love this? people, i mean come on, this is better than the current season of the walking dead”

uncomfortable fidgeting as dan realises he’s pissed off hundreds of thousands of people

staring at phil again yes i’m living

“this is better than the wire” phil doesn’t want to leave dan all alone in the opinion firing line

“it’s turning into that cake outtake from tatinof” HOW DARE YOU.

feeling less guilty having watched it now u fuckers

“it’s literally the cake situation”

seriously i’m going to watch it again just to spite you both

“imagine a horse pushing you against a wall and force-feeding you spring onions” dan i love you but i’m going to have to reject this prompt

the game turns sinister and they both look the most excited they’ve looked for the entire video

“this is fulfilling every kink that our audience might have” in which dan tries to push his weird kinks onto us out of fear phil will judge him

“is the next one set in the afterlife?”

“i feel like i went to a place i didn’t think i was going to”

“so real talk, let’s get real” phil i like that you’re trying to get close to the camera but you’re still too far away it’s not doing what you think it’s doing

“if you don’t want us to do this ever again...” “what’s wrong with you” honestly dan same

they’re literally encouraging thumbs down??? how long have they been in the youtube game???

“tell us your opinions down there” oh dear god they’re encouraging the fanfiction

“if you want the horse, we want to give you the horse. you know what we’re saying?” 

it’s hard to quote when they’re both talking at the same time BE POLITE AND LET EACH OTHER SPEAK 

“this is a two way relationship...” why did phil’s smile grow when dan said that

“slice our subscribe button like a spring onion” // “please don’t stab your laptop and/or mobile device” // “trot over to our other channels”

danisnotchoking (but he wants to be)

AmazingSpringOnion

#I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE #i was watching ant and dec and my parents and i were waiting for our takeaway #it took an hour longer than it should've #so i only had time to finish this now #but this was fuuuuuuuuuun

[gwisingegooli]

god people like... talk so much unfair shit!!!!! i know i do it all the time too but it shocks me every fucking day. like yt comments. the yt creator is just a fucking human being trying to put out content. yt comments are so relentless and cruel. and when i did the speech on the kardashians. and everyon fucking hated them! and some of them didnt even know them or watch the show. they just hated them bc "everyone does." and then after my speech people changed their minds which goes to show lol y'all hated on them before knowing anything about them!!!! i get that when you're a public figure or group you're treated differently and you're going to get different responses and a greater amount of hate or live because it's depersonalized and a different relationship... but holy fuck? i posted an OPINION piece from andre w on our fb about how students should stop snubbing conservatism. the content is just like "i say i like guns and i'm from the military and then people r rude to me. it's irrational. one our writers who was a jill stein voter got called a trump supporter bc he wrote a piece negatively portraying our college president. that doesn't make sense. y'all should actually listen to perspectives." except even more polite than that and w a lot more support. then someone fucking comments "how about: la voz should be a more competent paper" and "who even is this jill stein voter??" way to miss the point of the article btw!!! and it's like what the fuck is wrong with you people. how does an opinion piece asking people to be open-minded = our paper is incompetent. and also it's an opinion piece from one writer. and also what did we do that was incompetent. lol. we're an unpaid community college paper. what r u expecting... and second why are you trying to witchhunt. who tf asks like "can you give names?" how does that help anything, or make our point stronger. or help you understand anything we said more. like. i can understand hating on people. we're a newspaper. ofc people r gonna hate shit. but like... think... about it. think why do i hate this. am i hating this for a fair reason. do my supporting reasons make logical sense. and if not. then even if you want to be angry, work it out. additionally like. this is my own personal opinion and i can understand if others dont agree but. aside from the basic requirement of making sense. we ARE people. we're not vague celebrities that attack the school. like. talk to us. we're human beings. i'd rather get smack talked to my face, especially if it doesn't make sense, so i can be like "hey what do you mean?" and then work it out. i'm 100% sure if i talked to any of these people individually theyd be like oh shit sorry for being mean or like oh yeah youre right that doesnt make sense. lol also another thing ppl might not agree with but WE'RE HUMAN BEINGS LIKE YOU. so give us CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM if you actually want us to improve. if you just bitch about us without any reasoning and not directly to us how the fuck are we supposed to grow and improve? or even know we did something that other people didn't like??? help us out here!!!! we want to get better too!!!! i literally will never get mad at someone criticizing our coverage. like if ur criticism doesnt make sense then we'll work it out and then you can realize that. if i don't understand your perspective we'll work it out so i can understand it. if i completely messed up something then you can let me know and i'll apologize. if there's something i wasn't aware of now i can be aware. etc. also. do you even read the paper. theres a lot of vague la voz hate circle jerking and um. a lot of you don't even read our paper. so what are you doing??? it's just like the kardashians stuff. yall dont watch the show, dont know anything about them, just see vague headlines of negative stories cause its fun to hate on them. and then you hate on them with all your friends!!!! really effective 10/10 theres tons of reasons to hate on us! or the kardashians, sure! just fucking think about it before you say literally random mean shit thats just to be mean which accomplishes nothing. anyways *disassociates* i don't take anything personally either LOL i dont give a fuck and i dont think its an attack on my character. its just annoying to see people in college!!! educated people!!!! doing really illogical shit that doesn't make sense!!! adults!!!!!!! people w grad degrees!!!!! doctors!!!! EVERYONE!!!! DOING SHIT THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE ALL THE TIME!!!!!!! and not wanting to improve!!!! i make a fuck ton of mistakes constantly and make a lot of obvious as fuck mistakes!!!! but LMK!!!! and let me let YOU know!!!! *steams*

[sabrinamr07-blog]

My Mapres Journey (3): The Finals!

So anyway, I started preparing for finals which was held one week after the finalists’ announcement. There were 2 things the 6 of us had to do, which was the KTI presentation and the English debate session.  There were a lot of things prepare for, from making PowerPoint Presentation, explaining verbally my idea in KTI, practicing my English for the debate session, timely measure every preparation,  and also create the physical version of the prototype.

So what I did is I wrote a list of all the things that I needed to do, and started formulating the approach of preaparation for each. This is to measure how long it will take and how ready I will be. There is absolutely no room for mistake, so I make sure I had everything under control.

For example, for the KTI presentation part, I would need to first make the outline on how to deliver the idea. Once I wrote the PPT outline, I asked some people if what I explained made sense. Always check with people, if people who have never heard of your idea before can understand, then you’re good to go! Because you do have to make sure the judges understand the point you’re trying to get across in only 10 minutes of the given presentation time in the final day. And then the presentation-making part; I also made sure my PPT was beautifully-designed.

As for the english debate session, I had help from a senior who usually wins at debating competition. I know him from Salam UI. He was from FISIP and must know a lot about social-economical-political issues which I have no idea about most of the time. The debate session didn’t discuss about issues in dentistry, it was mostly common things though most people have heard of, but that’s the tricky part. We do have to grasp a profound understanding of each issue well. So that is the hardest part, is to brainstorm and research about the current developing issues in social-political-ecnomical aspects. He agreed to coach me, and ee practiced for an entire day the day before the finals, and it just helped tremendously. The preparation process was actually a lot more complicated, exhausting, and involved a lot of other things besides what I just explained, but the point is the fact that I did not do all of the preparations alone. I definitely had a lot of help from people who cared, and I am just very lucky to have such kind people surrounding me.

So this is another thing that I’d like to highlight. I think one of the achievements you could get in college is not only the amount of competitions you win, or how many conferences you joined. Sure, those things are important. But this is what I meant in the beginning when I said we should grow completely, in all aspects, as a person. What kind of people we have as friends, how do we treat them and other people in general, how is the quality of our friendship, what kind of softskills have we gained; leadership, communication, empathy, having positive outlooks and develop in character. Because all this will prove to be useful in the Mapres journey itself. Moral support (though this might seem like a minor thing, it really is not).  People’s willingness to help and support you is tested. And if we have been good to these people since the beginning, we might be surprised how much of a help they can actually be.  We can see who is truly genuine and wants good for us.

So the day of the finals have arrived. The finals is held at 10 in the morning, after at 8 we had a class (DK1). There is a new thing this year, which is that each of us had to introduce ourselves in the most creative way possible, in only 1 minute. I remember because I was too busy the day before, I forgot to make this little piece of introduction. I had no idea, and so I panicked in the morning. Not only that, I haven’t even memorized what I was going to say in each slide exactly (This is horrible, I couldn’t believe after everything I still felt underprepared).

So, in the morning class, I asked to go to the toilet. I had to make this little introduction speech. As I was brainstorming in front of the bathroom mirror (LOL) the story of Ibn Sinna occurred to me somehow. So I decided to talk about that. Hence, my little piece of introduction went a little bit like this:

“I would like to start my introduction with an anecdote. A long time ago, there lived a great man. He was very full of passion for the science of medicine. He went to great lengths to find and discover the science of healing people. His name, was Avicenna, or in Arabic, more familiarly known as Ibn Sinna. He is considered as the father of the modern medicine. His work, the Canon of Medicine, is used as a reference in hundreds of medical schools around the world, until centuries later. His discoveries were a milestone in many fields of the medicine itself. Avicenna has been one of my greatest sources of inspiration. Being in the same field, medicine, dentistry, our hearts must go out to our patients. We must put forth the importance of being helpful and spreading as much good as possible. And that is exactly what being an outstanding student means. It is to always try to give back to society, and do things in the pursuit of causes greater than ourselves. I am Sabrina Amira, Faculty of Dentistry batch 2014, standing before you today as a finalist for Outstanding Student. Thank you.”

Seriously, I was still grateful I could still pull something off. I did say my introduction in English. Those were not the exact words I said that day, in fact I think I might have had it worse. But anyway, I took a couple more minutes to practice saying it in the mirror, and memorized it on the way back to class. Phew! (This is a highly unrecommended thing to do, by the way ^^”)

For this part, another finalist actually made a PPT and a video to grab the judges’ attention. Definitely be like that on this one, because everything should be flawless on the finals day!

So after class, we went to the auditorium. The finals was about to begin. I made sure my prototype was ready, and I braced myself. I kept muttering the Prophet Musa’s prayer, Robbissohri sodli, wa yassirli amri, wakhlul uqdatammillisaani, yafqahu qauli over and over again, more like reassuring myself that I was ready and that no matter what happens, juts stay calm.

We took the presentation order. I got number 2. Hmm.. okay. Ideally I’d like to be number 3, but oh well. Control the nerves, Sab, I kept telling myself. Though it was very hard. I remember my heart punded very fast the whole time. I was so afraid I’d forget the words! So when my turn came, I just told myself just give everything I’ve got. Nothing to lose, seriously. Bismillah.

I gave my presentation in the best way possible that I could. Much to my surprise, everything went smoother than I thought, Alhamdulillah. The question and answer part also went well, I tried to answer in the most reassuring way possible even though it might not have been all that satisfactory (I’d like to highlight a little bit about this; just try to look as convincing as possible, even If you’re not very sure yourself). All in all, I felt pretty well about the presentation. People also said that I was good, I felt very relieved. Alhamdulillah, again and again. Thank you for Your help in the time I needed it most, yaaAllah.

While the other finalists got up on the stage, I prepared for the English debating session by reading the research materials I had done the day before.

The whole time I kept thinking to myself to never let God out of my mind. Every single thing I said or will say depended on Him, and I wished for barakah and His ridha upon me. I kept my dhikr and the dua close with me the whole time. I texted my parents, giving them the news I just finished the presentation session without any considerable fault and I kept asking that they’d give me their blessings and prayers. This is what kept my nerves down the whole time, it kept my heart at peace and my mind able to think sharply.

After the presentation session, we had a lunch and prayer break. I kept asking Allah for the best, I did shalat hajat and I always tried to read as much dhikr as I was able. I think this plays a huge part in what kept me strong. It was a source of ease and peacefulness that I wouldn’t be able to attain otherwise.

In the debating session, we had 3 topics. They were about death penalty for corruptors, tax amnesty, and BPJS. The debate went a bit different than last year’s because it consisted of 2 rounds; group round and individual round. In the group round, everyone was paired up (I was paired with Jacky as my team mate, he finished as the 3rd Mapres, so proud of him!)

So in the beginning, we set that the debate wasn’t about making ourselves shine, it is to be able to work as a team, to support our team’s arguments together. Our individual abilities would still be able to shine through, anyway. Through that, individual capabilities will also show, so it shouldn’t have been that big of a problem.  We were the third team, so there was a moment where we were able to see and plot our opponents’ bar. The 1st and 2nd team went ahead with the topic BPJS. When it was our turn against the 1st team, we got the death penalty for corruptors topic. Each speaker was only given 2 minutes to deliver the argument, and was only able to speak once and ask or answer the other team regarding that same topic. The third session we went against the 2nd team with the topic tax amnesty.

After the group debating session, there was also an individual session where we were asked to deliver an argument about a random topic for 3 minutes (if I’m not mistaken). I got the topic online transportation (thank God!). It’s such a classic, who didn’t know about that. Again, another ease from Allah.

What I think about my performance in the debate is that I’m glad I maximized my speaking time. I think time management and knowing what to say in the very short amount of time given is crucial, because this shows our capabilities to really answer something in an effective way. Some of the other finalists had it undertime, and I think that should really be avoided. The key is practice, practice, practice. I’m quite lucky because I’ve had past experiences debating before. It was just for OIM, but we had training sessions from EDS kids and that tremendously helped. Researching about recent issues is also a necessity, that’s why I had help from seniors from the social faculties to help me better understand what these things are about the day before.

The winner’s announcement was on that same day. There was a short break, about 20 minutes for the judges to tabulate all the scores and pick the winner. In that spare time, I decided to go to the mushalla to pray Ashr, because my heart was racing so fast. I couldn’t handle just by saying prayers, I had to do the Salah, haha. ^^”

When I got back, it was just about time for the real announcement. It was such a nerve-wracking experience. I remember drg. Ria was the one reading the final result. She strated saying that basically all of us had something. Some of us were good at something, but not so good at the other. It was a tough decision, but it had to be made. She started from the 3rd place, Jacky Wijaya :D everyone cheered. My heart raced. The 2nd place, Aliya Chairunnisa. I’m so glad for her! She totally deserved this. Aaand it was time for the 1st place, Sabrina Amira!

I absolutely could not believe it. I remember thinking to myself, is this really happening. It was… I have nothing to say. This has been my dream since maba, and it actually came true. I did want it that bad, the whole time I’ve been praying for it and worked for it, and learned so much through the process. But.. yeah, it happened. I am so very grateful for everything, this is even beyond my expectation, I was happy enough to be in the top 3, but actually being the 1st Mapres FKG UI 2017 is absolutely beyond my imagination.

I thank Allah, for being so kind to me even though I’ve disobeyed many many things. Yaa Allah, You are most merciful and most giving, thank you for giving me the opportunities to meet the people who helped me, for giving me ease and strength when I was exhausted from the process, thank you for making me able to go through everything until the end. Thank you, I am forever grateful for this opportunity.

All in all, this is just the short version of how everything really went. I am forever grateful, and I realize there are things that I need to give back for having earned this title. Like how I’ve always put the mindset going into this, is that this is not the end goal. Mapres is a means of doing something greater, more.

So, for all of you out there, dare to dream big! Work through it all and always, always, niatkan untuk ibadah dan menggapai ridha Allah : )

Well, thank your for reading this. See you on the next post! Definitely if you guys want to ask me any questions, I’m always open. Just hit me up!