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2seokfan · 4 years

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Scarlet & Hazel | Ch. 4

pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

genre: fluff, very light angst, smut (future)

warnings: mentions of physical abuse

word count: 5.3k

chapters: ch.1, ch.2, ch.3, ch.4

summary:

Just cause you’re living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment even after graduating college doesn’t mean you’re not happy. So what if your best friend is working her dream job making close to six figures every year? So what if she’s in a loving, committed relationship with her perfect boyfriend that you’re 99% sure is going to propose to her sometime next year? It doesn’t matter that your idea of a perfect relationship is a $9.99 bottle of wine on Friday nights while you binge watch Netflix specials.

Ok so maybe you’re a teensy bit miserable. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing with your life. Maybe all you need to do is accidentally cross paths with two hybrids who will drastically change that.

Meet “Scarlet” and “Hazel”, two of the most gorgeous hybrid men you have ever laid eyes on. With their help, you learn that life is an adventure, a roller-coaster with ups and downs, and you were too preoccupied with yourself to climb out of your own predicament. And hey, you’re not much of a romantic, but with these two, you just might change your mind.

a/n: Y/N gets the surprise of her lifetime today! Also to clarify, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is an old cowboy movie with a very famous theme song (just in case some people don’t get the reference). Thank you for being patient! Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns!

tag list: @wilhelminalucinda @ghostkat23 @ayoo-bangtan @sadgurllayha

How come whenever you’re excited for something, time purposely slows down?? It’s like the weekend can’t come fast enough. Each day feels like a whole week and each hour stretches like two. You swear the clock hanging on the wall of your clinic has some sort of personal grudge against you, the second hand moving at the pace of a snail.

You’re currently on the last two hours of your shift. The hustle and bustle of morning appointments have died down but that doesn’t stop the constant train of incoming calls. You wonder if there’s an award out there for maintaining a professional voice after getting asked stupid questions, because you deserve that award, exhibit A being the person you’re dealing with right now. You pick at your nails while you balance the work phone on your shoulder.

“Sorry ma'am we’re actually a hybrid clinic so no, I can’t put your son down for a checkup. Mhm. Mhm. Uh huh.” You peel off a hangnail and flick it into the trash can under your counter. “I understand you're frustrated but none of our doctors specialize in human treatment. May I suggest the hospital? Ok have a good day now. Bye.”

You hang up as a string of expletives are leaving the receiving end of your phone. What part of ‘hybrid clinic’ did she not understand?

You lean back into your office chair, vowing for the 100th time to invest in one of those lumbar support pillows for your poor, aching body. Checking today’s schedule, you see that a first-time client should be coming in any minute now. Her voice had sounded eerily familiar when she called all those days ago, but you didn’t bother to think twice.

Right on cue, you hear the clinic door open. A very familiar arctic fox hybrid is ushered in by her impatient owner.

“Hurry up won’t you! We don’t have all day!”

Yep. That’s blondie alright.

Sylvia has already recognized you, giving you a small smile when her owner isn’t looking. You’re shocked by her appearance, small cuts and bruises adorning her face and a noticeable bandage around her left wrist. You smile back, trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

Blondie hasn’t noticed your presence yet, currently rummaging through her gigantic purse for a pen. She freezes when she finally looks up, making eye contact with you.

You both narrow your eyes like it’s some sort of cowboy showdown in the old west, theme song from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly playing in the background. If it weren’t for the counter in front of you you’d probably be slowly circling each other, hands ready to draw your pistols from your holsters.

Except it’s the 21st century and all you can do is clench your jaw and offer her a steely glare.

“What are you doing here?” Blondie is the first to break the silence.

“I work here,” you say matter of factly.

“Don’t you own hybrids?” Her voice is menacing, but it doesn’t mask her confusion. “How can a receptionist afford two hybrids?”

“I’m here on my off time cause I have nothing else to do.” You find it so much easier to lie to her now that you’ve successfully done it before. No harm in stretching your little fable.

Blondie huffs, having no rebuttal ready.

“Anyways, I need you to fill this out here.” You decide not to push her temper further since you’re at work and need to act civilly. You hand her the basic information form and contact the doctor about their arrival.

While blondie is busy filling out the paperwork, you make quick eye contact with Sylvia, mouthing a silent ‘are you ok?’ to her. She gives you a tense nod but nibbles on her bottom lip and shifts her pupils in blondie’s direction. You can’t forget that look on Sylvia’s face, one of desperation and misery, and you want so badly to pull her out of this situation.

Blondie finishes and hands the papers back to you. You glance down and find her name on the forms. “And Karen,” of course her name is ‘Karen’, “how did Sylvia get these injuries?”

A flicker of panic flashes across her features but it instantly disappears into a frown.

“She fell down the stairs.” Karen snaps, then proceeds to tap her foot impatiently. “Well? I’ve got an appointment??”

You sigh and swallow down the urge to talk back. “Dr. Lao is ready for you. Just head down the hall and into the office on your left.”

Karen puts her pen back in her purse, then grabs her fox by the elbow and pulls her down the hallway, out of sight. When they disappear, you sit back and take the time to process what just happened.

You don’t believe for one minute that Sylvia fell down the stairs. Her injuries seem obviously inflicted by another person, most likely Karen, but you don’t want to jump to conclusions. Since you have no proof, you can’t really report the issue. Also you’re well aware of how corrupted Hybrid Services are and you don’t want to leave Sylvia in their hands.

The phone rings, bringing you back to your senses. Oh yeah, I’m still at work. You remind yourself to google some safe hybrid help centers when you get home. There’s nothing you can do now but you’ll be damned if you won’t try.

The two emerge from the checkup after an hour or so. Karen turns to your counter, face still in her signature scowl as she approaches you.

“I need to schedule a second appointment.” Her tone sounds a little stiff, as if she didn’t want this outcome. “Sylvia will need another checkup for her wrist.” Her entire demeanor is suspicious to you at this point. When you met her for the first time, you were only focused on getting her to stop bothering your two hybrid friends. You regret not noticing her obvious physical aggressiveness.

As the two head out, Sylvia turns back and gives you a small ‘bye’. You melt at how cute she is despite all her injuries. You give her one last wave, determination welling up inside.

You head home and immediately dive to your laptop. Sylvia’s next checkup isn’t till two weeks later so you want to use that time to become as productive as you can in finding the numbers of various hybrid centers. Even though your work revolves around hybrids, you have no personal experience helping any of them out of trouble so you need the advice of professionals. You have no idea what any of these centers can do and you’re aware that your lack of information means you’re starting from scratch but you refuse to sit by and do nothing. Not when something fishy is obviously going on.

You’re surprised to find no decent hybrid centers, even though you live in a pretty big city. Most seem like shady adoption centers that put in the bare minimum amount of effort in taking care of and re-homing their hybrids. One center was so repulsive you’re surprised they’re legally allowed to operate. You click on their ‘About’ page for shits and giggles and the description makes you want to gag. ‘Having problems with your hybrid? Don’t worry! Call this number and we’ll take them off your hands!’ What the actual fuck!? It’s like one of those junk collecting commercials where they take away your old furniture except they’re talking about living, breathing hybrids, not an old refrigerator. This goes to show how little the government actually cares about hybrids and you find yourself involuntarily clenching your fists.

After a few websites that lead nowhere, you stumble across one for a Hope Hybrid Center that seems promising. The description indicates how they’re dedicated to the ‘safety and comfort of all hybrids without discrimination’. The only catch is that the particular center in your city has just been built and will not open till later this week. Nevertheless, you decide to trust this location since there are several other branches under the same name littered across the country that all have raving reviews. You bookmark the page and remind yourself to contact their main call center tomorrow.

You don’t know what’s come over you. It’s true you’ve always had a soft spot for hybrids, and you’ve always been in full support of every new law that passes, bringing them closer to citizenship. But you’ve never been this passionate about personally helping them. It’s a good feeling, being actively involved in something you care about. Saving your two hybrid friends two months ago has really opened your eyes to what human bystanders can do. Every action, big or small, can have an impact and you mentally scold yourself for not being aware of your surroundings previously. Oh how ignorant you were.

The rest of your research is futile, and you end up closing your laptop with a sigh of defeat. This is all you can do right now. Who do you think you are? Some sort of vigilante? What power do you have to make any change?? You’re just one silly receptionist against the big bad world.

Before you start mentally beating yourself up even more, you close your eyes and remember the image of Sylvia’s face. She looked so hopeless, so resigned to her fate, that all your self pity dissipates. Whatever miserable situation you’re in, you know she’s probably experiencing something ten times worse.

You think about bringing this run-in up with Scarlet and Hazel but you chicken out last minute. They’ve been pretty busy on the days leading up to your dinner doing god knows what. They’ve been polite enough to reply to you but you can tell from the short, quipped answers they supply that they have other things going on right now. You know that they’re not doing this on purpose so it doesn’t bother you too much, but you do miss the comic relief they provide in your hectic life. Guess you’ll tell them all about it when you see them on Saturday.

The last thought in your head before you shut your eyes is to call the Hope Hybrid Center as soon as you go on break tomorrow.

“Hi! Thank you for calling the Hope Hybrid Center! This is Jodie speaking, how can I help you?”

“Uh, hi yes!” Jeez why are your palms so clammy? It’s just a phone call, you do these everyday! “My name is Y/N and I was wondering if you can help me with a couple questions about hybrids, if that’s ok?”

“Of course!” Jodie sounds all peppy and excited. You wish you still had her energy when you do your customer service calls. You were like her for only a brief period all those years ago when you began at the clinic. Boy did that die down fast.

“Um,” You’re not really sure where to start. Do you just straight out say someone is hurting their hybrid? That might sound a little too accusatory. “What do I do if I think someone is abusing their hybrid? Like I have no proof but I still feel like it’s happening?” You’re not used to doing things behind other peoples’ backs, even for someone as awful as Karen, and it’s got your entire body erupting in cold sweat. You mentally reprimand yourself. I’m trying to help. This is for a good cause.

“That’s a good question.” Jodie’s voice is reassuring, like she can hear the nervousness of your tone through the call. “There are several things you can do actually! The first thing we recommend you do is observe their behavior as much as you can and try to record or take note of any signs of aggression displayed by the supposed abuser. This can be used in case any legal action is taken.”

“Uh huh.” You reach into your purse and grab your handy dandy little notebook, pull out the pen stuck in the spiral, and quickly flip to a random blank page to jot down everything she says.

“Now if you want to take direct action, that can be a little riskier but it is possible. The best option is to take one of our unique business cards and pass that along to the hybrid in need.”

“Unique business cards…?” She lost you there.

“Yes. You can find them at each of our shelters or we can mail them to you.” She answers fast, and you have a feeling she’s used to this question. “Each of our business cards contain an emergency phone number, a security code, and are coated with a unique scent that is virtually undetectable by humans. When the number is called, our first question is to ask for the security code, then confirm the matching scent of their business card. These cards work best with the majority of hybrids that contain a heightened sense of smell, such as the mammalian hybrids. We may need to adjust for certain bird or aquatic species that rely on other senses.”

Your writing arm is sore from taking all this down but you pause to answer Jodie. “She’s a fox hybrid, so that should be ok I think?”

You hear a large sigh of relief over the receiver. “Ok that makes things a lot easier.” Her tone switches to serious once again. “But remember this can only be done if the hybrid is willing to contact us in the first place. Beyond that, someone will have to catch them in the act of abuse and that can be very hard to do.”

You nod your head in agreement, forgetting that she can’t see you. “I understand. There’s a small chance this may just be nothing but I want to try and help at least.”

“That’s awesome! It takes a lot of guts to report these issues and you’d be surprised how many people let them slide under their noses.” She’s so encouraging that for a short, sweet moment, you envision the whole plan falling into place. You can see it now, a happy Sylvia free from her oppressive captors. Wow they really do a good job. Jodie deserves a raise.

“Thanks Jodie that means a lot!” You shake your sore arm, trying to relieve the pain. “I might need you to mail me a business card since the Hope Hybrid Center in my city isn’t open yet.”

“No problem! I’ll just need your full name, an email and phone number, and your address.”

You relay all your information over. By the time the call is finished, you have a whole 2 minutes left on your lunch break. You look down at your untouched PB&J sandwich and cry internally. It’s for a worthy cause you repeat again and again in your head like a mantra.

Friday. Finally. This week has been the longest you’ve experienced since midterm week of college. You received a package from Hope Hybrid Services this morning and it’s currently sitting on your bedside table. You won’t need to open that up till Sylvia’s next appointment.

You power through another hectic day at work, motivated by the prospect of seeing your two friends in person tomorrow. Both boys are now well aware of your work schedule and take extra care not to text you until you’re off.

5pm rolls around and your phone vibrates just as you enter your car and buckle your seat belt. You check and see that it’s from ‘Hazel’s Nuts’, your favorite groupchat. You gun it towards your apartment, wanting to reply to them in the comfort of your own home. You must have made it in record time and you’re surprised you didn’t get a speeding ticket. Listen, you aren’t the best driver out there but no one’s died on your watch so you count that as a win. When you arrive home you immediately jump onto the couch and unlock your phone.

Hazel: Hi Y/N. Sorry we’ve been so busy this week but we’re excited to see you tomorrow

You: that’s ok! I figured you were occupied

Hazel: Yep. Had to take care of some stuff but we’re all set now

Scarlet: Y/N!!!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOOUUUU

Scarlet: (excited emojis)

You: Same!!!

Hazel: Oh yeah

Hazel: We’re meeting at La Cucina Classica tomorrow btw

You let out a small gasp of surprise. No fucking way?! La Cucina Classica is one of THE most expensive restaurants in your city. You’ve never stepped foot inside their doors because they’re usually booked months in advance. Karli’s lucky ass managed to eat there once before and she described the food as, and you quote, ‘orgasmic’. How on earth did they manage to nab a spot there?

You: No way! Really?

Scarlet: Yes way!!

You: how the hell did you manage to get a table???

Hazel: We pulled some strings

You: omg u mysterious boys

Scarlet: We promise to tell you everything tomorrow!! <3

You: ok! but don’t feel obligated or anything

You: i trust u guys

Hazel: Good

Hazel: So tomorrow. 7pm

Scarlet: Oh yeah! Also dress nice

You: you bet! It’s a fancy place so i can’t let them know i’m secretly poor

Hazel: Lol

Hazel: I have to make a call for work so bye for now Y/N

You: bye kitty

Scarlet: See you tomorrow! I can’t wait!!!

You: me too!!

You: bye!

You set your phone down and whisper to yourself. “What does he mean by ‘work’? They have jobs??”

And they got a table at La Cucina Classica by ‘pulling some strings’, like it was no big deal to them?! Oh my god do you need answers!

You wake up promptly at 9am.

Why? Because it’s #SelfcareSaturday. And this has nothing to do with seeing the boys in person tonight at 7pm. Nothing at all.

You usually have a lot of shit to say about how crappy your little apartment is but today you’re feeling thankful because your dingy bathroom comes equipped with a little tub. You have a bath bomb that was a birthday gift from one of your college friends and you pray these things don’t expire (they do lol) because you’re about to crack this baby open for the first time.

You’ve still got 9 hours, 23 minutes, and 16 seconds till dinner tonight but who’s counting? Not me, you think as you slowly sink into the rainbow-colored tub water. The atmosphere is perfect. You’ve lit up two of your scented candles and have a lofi hip hop playlist on shuffle. You should really do this more often except, you know, water bills.

Right after bath time you decide to do one of your more elaborate skincare routines, hoping to remove the stress and fatigue from your face after a week of work. You facetime Karli so you’re not alone during the whole process.

“Hi Y/N!!” Karli’s face pops up onto the screen. It’s a little more blurry than usual and the sunlight is harsh behind her so she must be outdoors. “Why is your face all glittery?”

“Oh this?” You point to your cheeks. “Remember that fancy Japanese face mask I bought when I got my holiday bonus?”

“Oh yeah! But you said you’d only open it for a special occasion. Unless,” then she comes to a conclusion. “is it for the boys??”

“No!” You correct her too fast. “I mean yes, but also no.” There’s a blush creeping onto your cheeks. “Sometimes a girl just wants to treat herself…”

“Sweetie, your idea of treating yourself is ordering takeout and drinking wine on the weekends, but I’m not gonna pressure you.” Karli sure loves to tease.

“Shut up you don’t know me,” you pout. You’re furiously red at this point.

“Au contraire, I know you too well. You’re like that mole I have on my left ass cheek, I’ll never get rid of you.”

Classy.

“True.” She’s not wrong. You two have been through thick and thin and everything in between. It’ll take divine power to separate you now.

“Oh yeah good thing you called! I’ve got some news!” She’s raising her voice since the background noise of traffic behind her is a little deafening.

You tilt your head, a question forming on your lips. Is it about the wedding?

“Remember that Bryce guy?”

You do now, since she brought him up. But it does bring back a few embarrassing memories. “Yeah?”

“Well he told me he has a football game coming up so he’s probably gonna text you soon to ask if you can go.”

“I forgot I said yes to that,” you wince as you suddenly remember that night.

“I mean, you can always let him down gently,” Karli suggests.

“No, I shouldn’t. That would be mean. I did agree to go.” Just admit it. You don’t like disappointing people.

“Ok girl, if you say so.” She doesn’t push you, probably cause it looks like she’s hurrying somewhere. “Ugh I promised to meet my coworkers for lunch but why did I wear heels downtown!”

“I don’t know girl, sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” You snicker at her.

“Hey don’t be fucking rude!” She quotes that famous Kim Kardashian meme perfectly.

“Stop! Don’t make me laugh too hard!! It’s gonna mess up my face mask!” You’re trying to keep your face still but it’s damn near impossible at this point.

The rest of the day you spend pampering yourself, the whole nine yards. You even booked an appointment with the nearby nail salon after one glance at your unkempt cuticles. God you’re a mess. All you had today was a salad you picked up after your nail appointment because you want your stomach to prepare itself for the gorging you’re about to do tonight.

As the evening approaches, you hunt in your closet once again for appropriate dining attire. The words ‘dress nice’ echo in your head. This time you do open your ho drawer, because you remember having some sort of shimmery dress that isn’t too bad and can probably pass for being presentable in such a fine dining environment. You reach into the furthest corner and finally feel the soft, silky fabric, pulling it out and hoping against all odds that it isn’t full of wrinkles. Lucky for you, the dress is still in good condition. It’s a spaghetti strap and flows all the way down past your ankles. You’ve never found the occasion to wear it, only buying it cause it was on sale and you thought it was so pretty at the time.

You put it on and glance in the mirror. Usually you have a lot to critique about your physical appearance but today you admit you don’t look so bad. The dress shows a little bit of tasteful cleavage and there’s a slit that rides up your right leg but it isn’t too revealing. Attach some chunky, strappy black heels and you’re good to go. Except makeup, you’ve gotta do that first.

As the clock ticks closer to 6:30, you finish up on your smokey eye and swipe on a little lip tint. You’re definitely taking an uber tonight because you don’t want to miss out on the restaurant's excellent drink selection. Also parking on a Saturday night? Absolute nightmare.

The place is downtown and a good 20 minutes away so once you get in the car you tell the driver to step on it, promising to tip him extra when you get off.

You can’t stop the constant drumming of your heart as the car nears the location. You feel like a kid who’s been told they’re going to Disneyland and you’re giddy with excitement. Maybe it’s better not to see them in person because you might faint on the spot.

As the car pulls up you take a deep breath. Calm down Y/N, you think to yourself, I’m just meeting two good friends for dinner.

The restaurant is located at the rooftop of one of the taller buildings downtown. You enter the elevator, smoothing your dress and your nerves at the same time.

When the doors slide open, you’re greeted by an immaculately dressed hostess. You glimpse at the restaurant behind her. Expensive is definitely the right word to describe this place. There’s dimly lit, warm lighting above each of the tables, and a live band is playing soft tunes in the corner. Waiters and waitresses are carrying loads of food on only one hand, serving each table with grace and poise.

“Name?” The hostess asks you, breaking you out of your observation.

“Um,” You’re unsure what to say. Did they put the table down under Scarlet or Hazel? That can’t be right since those are fake names.

“Y/N?” You try with your name first to see if that’ll lead anywhere.

“Right this way Miss Y/L/N.” Holy shit, ok. Guess that worked.

You’re led past the many tables, ladened with various couples, and back into a private room. They even managed to book a private room?!?! You really feel out of place with your drugstore makeup and cheap dress.

The hostess graciously opens a door for you and-

“Y/N!!”

“Ooof!” You’re enveloped by the familiar scent of honey and cinnamon. “Hi Scar.” You try to compose yourself since he smells too good to be true. Hazel is right behind him, signature sleepy smile on his face. You back away from them, taking in their appearance

Oh. My. God.

Your jaw drops. Beautiful isn’t enough to describe what’s standing in front of you. Scarlet is in a perfectly fitted, baby blue suit that shows off his lean physique. One of his top buttons is undone, revealing his caramel colored skin and collarbones. You pry your eyes away from such sin and opt to look in Hazel’s direction but that does nothing to help you since he’s also dressed to the nines, wearing all black, silver jewelry sparkling on his neck and fingers, a stark contrast to his milky white skin. You look in between them instead, fearing you’ll drool if you stare at them any longer.

Hazel steps forward and also gives you a small hug. His scent is floral, with a spicy undertone, and you want nothing more than to drown in it.

“Hi Hazel,” God you must be blushing like crazy right now. You can’t help it since they look so delicious. Stop that! They’re your friends and they’re not interested!! You want to slap yourself for thinking such impure thoughts.

Well you say that but the way they’re taking in your outfit sends a shiver down your spine. Is it just you or did their eyes darken? The atmosphere quickly returns to normal and you start to wonder if that moment was all in your imagination.

“Look! We already have the champagne ready!” Scarlet’s tail is wagging a mile a minute as he returns to his seat. Hazel slides next to him right after, trying to swat away the offending appendage that’s taking up his spot.

“How ‘bout you control that tail of yours, hm puppy?” Hazel huffs, finally managing to sit down once he successfully shoves the tail back into Scarlet’s lap.

“Hey!” Scarlet looks downright offended. “I’m a fox, not a dog! We’re a much more sophisticated creature.” He crosses his arms and states pointedly, “just like you can’t control your purrs, we can’t control our wagging.”

Hazel only sighs. “Sometimes I wonder why I’m mated to you.”

“Because you love me. Now shut up or poor Y/N’s gonna feel like she’s being third-wheeled.”

Now this is the Scarlet and Hazel you’re used to. You sit across from them, nursing the sparkling flute of champagne that’s calling your name and trying not to snort out loud at their antics. It’s still extremely hard to maintain eye contact with either of the boys but you put in effort all the same.

“I hope you don’t mind, but we already ordered.” Hazel shifts in his seat, one hand ruffling the back of his hair.

“Actually that’s perfect!” You chuckle. “I have no idea what to get in places like these.”

“Ok, good.” His voice is now sounding a little bit shaky, which is very puzzling. Is he nervous?

You take a better look at them, temporarily ignoring their attractiveness (which is a very hard thing to do), and you notice their body language is off. Both their tails are now twitching anxiously and their ears are a little droopy. What’s going on?

“Hey guys.” You keep your voice gentle. “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah! There’s just, um…” Scarlet is twisting the napkin in his lap. “We have some very important things to ask you and-”

“Wait!” You interrupt him, putting one hand up. You need to get this across before the boys tell you anything. “Before you continue, I just want you both to know that under NO circumstances do you ever have to tell me anything you’re uncomfortable with. I understand that you have a lot of secrets to keep, being two hybrids who probably don’t have owners. I want to respect our friendship and your privacy, and if that means not knowing a lot of your secrets, then fine by me.” You’re almost out of breath from letting all this out but it’s worth it because you truly value your friendship with them. You always joke to yourself about wanting to know what they’re hiding but deep down you cherish being their friend more than anything.

Both boys glance at each other for a second, nerves having vanished, then they suddenly throw their heads back and erupt into giggles. Scarlet is full on shaking, slapping his knee while he roars with laughter. Even Hazel is cackling, gummy teeth on full display.

This throws you off and your eyebrows furrow together. What’s so funny? You were being sincere and trying to protect them from revealing secrets they don’t want to tell you.

By this time the waiter has come by with a tray of small appetizers so you grab an olive and chew on it in confusion, waiting for their laughter to die down.

“See? What did I tell you about her?” Hazel is wiping a stray tear off his face.

“You’re right, you’re right!” Scarlet nods back in agreement.

Their laughter has finally fizzled away and they both turn to face you once again.

“Um,” You’re completely lost for words so you take another sip of champagne for courage. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No not at all!” Scarlet is quick to reassure you. “In fact, we were nervous at first but you’re making this so much easier for us.”

“Easier?” If you had a penny for all the times these boys have confused you, you’d probably be a millionaire by now.

“Right.” Hazel leans into the table a little bit, a small smirk on his face. “You see, there’s something very important we want to ask you tonight.”

“But first,” Scarlet juts in, also leaning in next to Hazel, “just to clarify. You trust us right, Y/N?”

“Of course.” You say without hesitation. These boys literally have no reason to harm you. Except they’re a little too close to you now and you resist the urge to fan yourself because oooh boy do they have the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen. And their ears! Why are their ears so fluffy looking?! You bet their super soft to touch but you dare not reach out.

“Even though you don’t know our real names?” Hazel urges you on.

“Well, I always figured you’ll tell me when you’re comfortable...” Your voice is getting smaller now, and you feel yourself getting red from head to toe. They’re too close to you and you try not to let your obvious attraction show so you look down and twiddle with your silverware.

“Excellent.” Both boys snap back into their seats, startling you.

“Y/N.” Scarlet clears his throat and tries to make his voice sound serious but he can’t hold back his smile. “We would like to officially ask you to adopt us.”

The fork you’re playing with clatters onto the table.

#bts fic #bts hybrid au #hoseok fanfic #yoongi fanfic #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfction #hybrid hoseok #hybrid yoongi #bts hybrid fic

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astrogone · 4 years

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❝ @ mutuals, send me a 🍓 and I’ll compliment you! ❞ / pt. 4

🍓 @glrchmp: Zacharie, you and your blog are absolutely? Phenomenal?! I honestly have not got into the playthrough of Shield / Sword yet while I do not have Switch, but of course, Leon has my heart instantly, and seeing someone so so passionate of him makes me very delighted. I absolutely adore what you have thought of him and written with him so far, and I always highly look forward to read and learn more about your Leon. It was such a wonderful moment going through your blog and seeing how would you portray Leon. Everything about him is so well thought and detailed, it is just incredible. To be honest, even if I haven’t got into the game yet, I already had a thought that Nintendo could not ever do Leon justice like how you would portray him. I hope you have at least some pride in your work because, seriously, what you touch turns into a wonderful art, and I am so grateful that I had stumbled across your blog. Anyone should, actually. You are a gem as you are a lovely person to have on my dash. I do hope we can interact more soon and have you shove me into more of the Pokéworld ( because I will admit, I’m not too hot with the lores and whatnot, and I’d love to get Deep with it, if ya get me there ) but if you are busy or anything, I’m more than okay to wait. Give you the time and space you need. For now, just seeing you on my dash makes me happy— as long as you are content, I am too. <3

🍓 @mtchstck: Alex, first of all [makes over 100 fire / hot puns such as how your blog is hot, your writing is spicy—]. Second of all, my goodness, please know that you and Livvy are out of the world, like we truly do not deserve you two. Your developments, writings, graphics, artworks— everything that you would come up with are incredible, and just... The time and effort you would put in these delightful creations... There is so much passion in your work and I just do not know how you would come up with any of these stuff. Livvy is such an interesting and fun character to learn about, and you probably get this a lot, but I do want to tell you how much I love that you write her with life in her. In a roleplay forum I was in for most of my roleplay life, I had seen so many young muses around her age being written with these traits that were just slapped onto them or given them a tragic background for the sake of it with bare to no developments and meaningful thoughts behind them. Yet with Livvy, everything about her feels natural because you care, and it just makes me so happy to see that there are people out there like you who would hold a lot care for their muse’s characterizations. You are just so talented in everything you do and I highly admire you. Honestly, what a spark of delight and inspiration you are to have on my dash. <3

🍓 @arsonbeast: MJ, we haven’t done much together yet, but, my gosh, you! Are so cool! Honestly. I still remember our conversation during around the Fourth of July and recalling about it makes me think that you’re such a very fun and hilarious person to interact with ( and I would love to interact with you more but I’m so Fucking Slow, but... you know ). I don’t know how to explain it, but I can really sense your energy from your texts alone and I get so delighted whenever I see your posts on here / text messages. You just have a really chill vibe that makes me feel comfortable, which says a lot with me having anxiety, welp, but... Just know that you have my heart and soul. Also, I highly adore your writings with MJ— the way you would word your sentences, MJ’s dialogues, etcetera, it really captures the personality of him and it’s so much fun and exciting to read them! And his faceclaim? Epic choice, my dude, I love that a lot. I can not truly wait to see more work with him, and once I finally fucking figure out who to write / plot with him, it’ll be Over for you, so you better watch out for my dumb ass coming at your way with that, lmfao... You’re awesome as Hell, dude. <3

🍓 @fatedriven: Neo, at the moment, we are just silently supporting each other from our tiny corners ( I am too slow and often chaotically losing my energy to reach out but! I will! Get to you soon, I Swear ), but I do want you know that I am! So so! EXCITED to interact with you more! And I ADORE all of your muses and everything in your blogs dearly MUCH! I swear, everything about your blog and creations and so forth are downright gorgeous. Stepping into your blogs for the first time was like having my eyes blessed with the sacred lights, no kidding at all!... Your muses are so unique and different from each other, it takes my breath away to see how much passion you have for all of them. Also seeing your writings? Truly poetic, oh my gosh. Your blogs are just so so delightful to go through. I love your ideas, your portrayals, and everything, like. You’re already one of my inspirations as seeing your work makes me feel motivated to work and develop on my creations, so thank you for taking the time and effort in sharing your creations on this Hellsite. They are truly amazing and I just can not wait to see more from you, as well as, again, interacting with you more. <3

🍓 @destructiveglitch: Myers, where to even start... I do not ever believe words would be enough, but as it is what I can offer, please, despite anything and what anyone would say to you, try to remember that whatever you create, your creations will always bring light to this universe! Every edges and corners and the insides of your creations from your muses to artworks and headcanons and writings and so forth? So well done. So so good to get into anytime, any day. And seeing your art improvement with the “silence, bottom” artworks? Incredible. It truly does show much you had improved from years of creating, and while you may experience feeling negative about your creations, I do want to give you a gentle reminder that this world is truly blessed to even look at your work. Just... the passion and dedication you have in your creations make me feel beyond delighted, and I love whatever you would post on my dash, even it’s just a silly thought. If you ever end up writing a novel or make a comic or whatever, you better let me know and I will pay to even read about it. Your creativity is too good for us. I am beyond grateful to have stumbled across your blog. You are just so sweet and fun and cool to have around, and I can not wait to make more fun memories with you. <3

🍓 @forcefuried: Tian, you are extremely delightful to interact with and have on my dash and Discord. Just. Every time I would see your post or text message, I get so giddy and hope you are doing okay. You deserve all of the goods out there. You hold nothing but kindness and even when we have recently interacted, you make me feel at home already, and it’s... a rare thing when I have anxiety, so, I just love how open and honest and sweet you are to not just me but others as well. I have said this before, but i will not hesitate to say this once more that I am beyond grateful that you decided to check up my blog and gave me a follow because, otherwise, I would probably not get to see the absolute beauty you have in your blog. The passion in everything you create is amazing and with every thoughts, headcanons, writings, and such that you would come up with? Always a breathtaking moment. There is so much details and dedication in everything, and how you would take the time to research and pour your soul out is so admiring. You are the reason I should get into the rest of the old S.tar W.ars films as I had watched only one of the old ones, honestly, lmfao, but yeah, you are so sweet and creative, and, gosh, this world just can not get enough of you. <3 🍓 @gloryshound: Nee, wow, honestly, what did I do to deserve you? While we are starting to interact more, I must say that I truly am in love with your writings. The details, the wordings, everything about them are so great. It just catches my emotions, make me feel and think for these muses, and it really amazes me to see how you would give each muse their own voice in your writings, and I personally believe it is not that easy to do that, especially when you have a lot of muses to write at once. I find it so interesting just reading what are the themes / main focuses each of your muse have, and it makes me think how determined and willing you are in exploring more of these themes / main focuses with their respective muses, and I think that’s really neat. I love when people actually take a step back to see the potentials in the characters and use them to make more of they are given from the media. It shows that they care, and I do love when people take the time and effort in placing so many thoughts and developments in a character. You are one of those people and I hope you know that your creations are highly inspiring to many people, including myself. I am so happy that we got to meet and I highly look forward to interact with you and all of your lovely muses more. It is gonna be so amazing! <3

#( happy happyyyy belated strawberryday everyone!!! love you all so so much!!! <333 )#˚* ੈ✧ ‧ ( ooc . ) i am alive ; i am awake #glrchmp #mtchstck #arsonbeast #fatedriven #destructiveglitch #forcefuried #gloryshound

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skamamoroma · 4 years

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What do you think of season 5 so far? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Sending lots of love to you meg for always being a light in the Skam fandom

Ah thank you, love! ❤️ that’s so kind of you

Oh I love it. So far! (Always cautious hahaha)

I am so damn impressed, honestly. So far, I really don’t have anything negative to say, not that I focus on that anyway. I don’t have any concerns. I am just 100% with Arthur, really really enjoying every moment and if they continue how they’re going, this season has the potential to be one of my favourites from the Skam universe

I mean, everything is great so far. They’ve really thought about the topic and the story. You can tell they’ve researched well and are taking the topic seriously. I’ve read multiple lovely posts by HoH or D/deaf folks who are impressed and happy with how the topic is being handled and that’s so very important. I learned BSL for a long time to help me communicate for a specific role I had and I have experience with the Deaf community and it was a total joy in my life so I love that there is so much respect here

Arthur is an interesting dude. He’s a bit of an enigma! He’s sweet and funny and silly and yet also sassy and bold and a little rebellious. He’s snappy and can lean towards anger sometimes. He’s a truly great friend and loves people hard, plus he’s nerdy as hell. He’s sarcastic too and I am always soft for sarcastic souls. I wasn’t initially sure about Arthur as a choice for s5 despite thinking it was genius to choose an original character but I am absolutely thrilled they chose him because he’s a great mix and he’s interesting!!

There’s intrigue. Skam needs mystery and a little drama. It needs the audience to be curious and involved and wanting to know more about the main. There’s plenty of that: with Arthur’s dad, with his hearing loss, with the new folks he saw at the swimming pool, with how his friends will react to stuff, with Alexia, with his future dreams...

The acting is stellar. So far, Robin is impressing the heck out of me. He’s moving and made me tear up but he also unsettles me and then two seconds later I’m wanting to squish him he’s so cute...! Perfect as a main Skam character!!

The cinematography and the quality is clearly incredible. It looks like they have more money and a lot of the camera work seems so considered in a way it hasn’t before (to the same degree anyway). There are some folks who aren’t keen on Skam France’s more cinematic style but I’m a fan (I like how all the remakes bring their own style) and this season seems so polished so far. Those shots with Arthur in the snow, for example, were just so so beautifully done, and the swimming pool scene. Plus, clips are coming regularly!!! It feels kinda like wtfock... I don’t feel starved for content because stuff is so regular!

The music is improved too! We had an actual SONG 😂 in Skam France! Hahaha. They clearly have a little more money.

The new characters of Arthur’s mamma and dad are great and they fit well. There are more new characters to experience but if they are introduced as seamlessly then they’ll be fab. I love that they created such dynamic socials for them and that they clearly come as a pair. It’s going to be cool getting to know them!

The social media for Skam France, I always enjoyed. Yeah some of it wasn’t ideal like the 5000 shots of Eliott and Lucas from one day where they didn’t change their clothes 😂 but I found the Eliott stuff to be so fun and immersive from s3 and it’s clear they appreciate the social stuff and have fun with it and it seems they’ve stepped up their game! It’s even added to the show aka the insta story the other day which Skam France never used to do

There are some truly GORGEOUS details. They’ve taken the time and passion they have about these characters and added those Skam-esque details which are, for me, so important. Like Arthur’s calendar where he’s clearly crossing off the days he can’t hear (it hasn’t even been mentioned in the show but they keep making a point of showing it), the stuff in Eliott/Lucas’ apartment which is even furthering their story despite them being background characters, Alexia’s room with the little pride flags and her lovely creative personality...

And lastly, the relationships and group dynamics. With any season, there’s always that frustration the audience have when the show runner has to try to develop or introduce stuff for other characters while telling the story of the main. Some remakes/seasons have done it very well (I felt Wtfock s3 really did that quite well) and some hardly do it at all (skam it tend not to do it much as their POV is so strong) and some make a point of doing it (Druck) etc. Skam Fr always had a few issues in the past especially during Lucas’ season where it didn’t flow as nicely as it could have (some moments did aka Manon and Lucas on the sofa when they cried together) but some were so shoehorned sadly. This season, those group moments and the time given to other characters hasn’t felt forced. They’ve used screen time to add in hints and moments rather than dedicating huge clips to stuff (which may change but I’m talking so far). Audiences are intelligent. We’ve picked up on Daphne’s behaviour, we got info about Eliott in a really organic way which involved Arthur, we see Lucas in his newfound confidence and relationship through socials and as were spending time in his new home, we’ve got background of Imane and Sofiane showing they’re good but also adding in Imane’s future intentions etc! All of that was done withou really taking any significant time of focus away from Arthur.

Not to mention the group dynamic feels tighter and more meaningful. Early on, I had such an issue with the Skam France boys as a group. I mean, after Skam It and my love for those boys, I felt they had so much to work with and during Lucas’ season I struggled with them all... but over time I think they’ve got to grips with who they are and how they connect and I genuinely believe their friendship now. I see their different dynamics within the group, I understand why they’re close, we’ve seen them learn and develop... they feel cohesive and warm. Eliott is now included which is a so lovely and he adds something different too... and then we have Alexia more prominent who, as a remake of Chris, had the potential to be the comic relief but I’m so so happy she isn’t and she is being treated with love and care and given depth.

I’ve made posts about this but because of the history and shared experiences between the characters, they really do feel much stronger and I have a real sense that I know them... so you come to this season already feeling you know how they’d react and what they’d think and you know they’ve got new perspectives due to their own experiences... and Skam Fr appears to be running with that and not taking them backwards which I am SO PLEASED about.

Plus, that glorious POV shift always changes a few things and because of it we see a few really interesting things. We see Alexia in a new light, we see how important Lucas is to Arthur, we feel fond of Basile because of his love for Arthur, we see why Arthur always had that sunshine response to his friends and their successes - because they’re his safe space and his source of peace and happiness and brightness. We saw that all over his face in the warehouse when he was being cuddled by them.

All in all. I’m a little stunned at how great it is so far. I’m remaining cautious because who knows but I am giddy that this is a new and original season and so far looks like it’s working so damn well. I love it a lot and I think the over-riding feeling is the love that the show has for the format, the characters, the actors and the stories... I have a feeling this is David’s influence. He gives a shit. He cares. It really shows ❤️

#skam france #sorry this is so long #read mores done work on phones!#thoughts etc #arthur broussard #sf s5

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justkending · 5 years

Text

Used to Be Overlooked. Chapter 2.

Summary: Steve Rogers was walking down the streets of Brooklyn after finishing a mission. The goal was just to take some time to clear his mind along the city streets, but when he runs into a gorgeous young lady that looks extremely familiar… How can he go about moving on? Who is she? What does he know her from? Was that memory even from this decade?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (Rosalyn Ember/ Y/N)

Word Count: 1800+

Warning: SLOW BURN. Soooo slow, but sooooo worth it...

A/N: This chapter is more to get some background on the reader. Not much on Steve in this one.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2:

“If the world wants us to meet again Steven, we will,” you smiled slyly as you turned into the crowd making your great escape.

You walked a little faster knowing that you messed up by saying his name, but you couldn’t seem to catch the slip before it came out of your mouth.

Once you were a good distance away from the spot of the almost incident, you turned to make sure he was lost in the crowd. Looking over and around the heads of the many people crowding the walkway, there was no sign of the tall dirty blonde haired man in a baseball cap. You let out a sigh happy that you had got away, but deep down something pulled at your heart making you sad that you had to leave so fast. It was for the better. It has to be this way.

Finally getting to the office, you walked in greeting the security guard stationed outside of the big cooperation.

“Good Morning Walter. How was your weekend?” You said, stopping to readjust the files in your arm as you set your coffee down.

“Nice and relaxing thanks to the Miss’s help,” He grinned.

“Oh, and hows that? She make the famous-”

“Chicken Noodle soup that you gave us the recipe for? Yes, indeed. Definitely helped with that cold I caught.”

“That’s why I make it. Nothing it can’t cure. Glad she’s enjoying the recipe, and I’m glad you are as well,” You said, placing the files back securely.

“Thanks again Miss. Ember. It was kind of you to let me take an extra day off,” he smile genuinely.

“Don’t mention it. We all need some time to recuperate, and you can’t do that while patrolling these doors 24/7,” you winked headed to the elevators.

“Oh, almost forgot!” he shouted taking a few steps to catch up. “The Miss’s did want me to ask if you would like to come over for dinner some time. We’re having a small little party in a week or so. Thought we would extend the offer as a thank you.”

You smiled at him before nodding nicely.

“It all depends on work, but I’ll see what I can do.” You turned pushing the button to the elevator and it opened immediately. “Thank you kindly for the invite. Have a good day Walter.”

He tipped his hat as the doors shut and you were left in the tiny metal box by yourself. You let out a long breath as you thought back to the earlier portion of the morning.

“Oh God. Just when I thought things couldn’t get anymore hectic,” you rolled your eyes slouching.

Then the doors opened and you were greeted with people running around the office space too worried about the task in their hands to see those around them. You straightened your back and put on a fake smile as you waltz to the front desk.

“Morning Claire. Any messages?”

“Yes, you have a meeting today with Dr. Higa and Dr. Frankford. They both are wanting to discuss the lab results for the trial run on C104. Then you have the phone call that needs to be done by 10 for getting that grant for the new serum. Then at 11 you have to review a new set of files for the lab techs that are wanting approval on a new formula that they are needing to implement into a vaccine they have been working on,” the blonde haired, brown eye, petite secretary said. “And that’s all before noon which leads us to a whole other schedule,” she said with a sincere soft smile.

“Ahhh…” you sighed. “There is always work to be done, isn’t there? Always something to improve,” you smiled. “Do you mind taking these files I reviewed last night and taking them down to the lab for the interns? They need to review my markups and corrections before looking into further research.”

Claire nodded and stood taking the papers headed down the hall. You let out another long sigh before heading into your office.

Life had become a lot more busy since you started at this new corporation. It was one of the top labs across the country and specialized in vaccines for multiple diseases, conditions, and other illnesses. Something you have been doing your whole life.

Science was always a big thing in your family, and you strived in it like your father did before you. You took after him and went to college and all kinds of schools, conferences, science camps, and worked along some of the best of the best to get better in the field. It started as a fascination and personal interest, but later turned into a goal of wanting to help the sick anyway you could.

Now, you were one of the youngest female scientist that the country had seen. You were recently offered a job at Williamson Labs were you oversee operations that go on inside. You were hesitant accepting the job because of you background, and also the secret that you tried to hide from the societies eye. But when they told you you wouldn’t necessarily be a face for the company, but more of the instructor who does the underground work, you got over your paranoia and jumped at the chance to help bring the world to better health.

There were moments where people knew who you were due to the changes you were making, but it wasn’t like your name was plastered on the billboard and all over the papers like the actual Williamson sons were. They were the face for the success the company was excelling in, and would check in every once and a while to make sure things were running smoothly.

About 20 minutes of sitting at your desk reviewing new case studies, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” you said loud enough for whoever it was to hear before you looked back down at your papers.

“Ah, Miss. Ember. As lovely as ever,” a deep charming voice said.

You smiled at your papers knowing exactly whose voice it was. As you slowly looked up, your thoughts were confirmed as the tall, slender, and business groomed man stood in front of you.

“Ah, Mr. Williamson. I wasn’t informed that you would be dropping by today,” you said sitting up in your chair and fixing your posture. “Please. Sit.”

He was a well groomed young man. He was about early 30’s, had brown chestnut colored hair, and these stunning brown eyes. He always had on a nice suit to show how much of a professional he was. He was chiseled and well sculpted in the face and body. Definitely someone all the ladies loved to swoon over. He wasn’t buff but instead toned and skinny. A handsome gentleman indeed, but a millionaire playboy too.

“Oh, that’s all right. I actually wasn’t planning on coming by today, but had to drop off some paperwork, so I figured I would come check up on you,” he said fixing his suit.

“Oh, is that so? This wouldn’t happen to be one of your attempts on asking me on a date again, would it?” you smirked.

“Do you consider a date a casual dinner with an friend?” he smirked back.

“Mr. Williamson,” you said with a raised eyebrow. “You know that I-”

“You don’t date within the office. Yes, I know. But!” He quickly took a seat in one of the chairs in front of your desk, and pulled it up where his hands were on the top of your desk. “What if I said we could just talk about work? You can get all dressed up and look as stunning as you always do, casual of course, then we can discuss work things.”

“We both know that’s not what you want.”

He paused sitting back in the seat and stroked his light stubble.

“Yeah, you’re right. I would want to leave work out of it, but I’m still all for seeing you all dressed up,” he winked.

You laughed as you went back to the papers moving them around your desk.

“What would your father think of this? You’re my boss Jonah Williamson. That would be unprofessional of me. Unprofessional for both of us. I came here to make a difference in the world, not to start a dating life.”

“You don’t date at all?”

“No, sir.”

“You’ve never had a boyfriend?” he said shifting in his seat getting closer again.

“When I was much much younger, yes. But now I have other things to worry about in my life. For instance, making sure your company doesn’t fail and is actually doing what it’s supposed to be doing,” you said slyly as you crossed your hands on the desk. “You should be proud me for my dedication for you livelihood, or should I say what’s making sure your bank account never runs low.”

“No one said I wasn’t proud. I’m just saying you should have a social life outside of this office,” he motioned around.

“Until this place is running more smoothly, my social life will be put on hold,” you responded standing up and walking over to the bookshelf on the opposite wall. “Any other reason you are here today?” you said sifting through the books before grabbing one, and opening it.

There was silence, and when you realized it, you could feel the closeness of another body by you.

“Nope. But, just so you know I don’t plan on giving up on your social endeavors,” Jonah said extremely close to your ear.

You paused reading and closed the book quickly as you turned to look at him standing mere inches away.

“Maybe learn about personal space, and I’ll look into it,” you said with sass and an evil grin before walking back to the desk.

“Always know how to make my heart flutter Rosalyn. Hard to keep myself away,” he smiled watching you walk back.

“Miss. Ember will be fine to you Mr. Williamson,” you said throwing him a look as you settled at your desk and he headed for the door. “And I suggest you learn how to keep yourself away.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he sassed back. He gave you one last look up and down as you clearly tuned him out reading. “I’ll be on my way now. Keep up the good work… Rosalyn.” he winked before leaving.

You rolled your eyes at him. He was definitely not one to back down from a challenge. Though you admired it, it was something you hoped would fade out soon. You didn’t need to make attachments. Give it 4-5 years, and you would have to be off finding a new job just like you’ve been doing your whole life thanks to your little secret.

You grabbed your phone and called the front desk.

“Yes ma’am?” your secretary said.

“Go ahead and inform Dr. Higa, and Dr. Frankford that I am ready when they are. The sooner we get this day over with, the sooner we can go home.”

“Yes Ma’am. I’ll call them now.”

You hung up the phone and went back to the case studies. This sure was going to be a long day with Steve in the back of your head.

Chapter 3

Used to be Overlooked Tag:

@xa-dia @losersunitetonight @fashionlive15 @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @steverogersxreader @laneygthememequeen @lauravic @shreddedparchment @iheartsebastianstan @almostelegantfire @iheartsebastianstan @manymaria111 @shreddedparchment @carol-damn-vers@angelkurenai

Other Tags:

@shamelesslydean @sleepless-sin @sandlee44 @gripmetight-raisemefromperdition @supersleepygoat@justanotherwaywardsister @spnwoman@ravengirl94 @carryonmywaywardcaptain @ezilyamuzed @thosekidswhohuntmonsters @purpleskiesandcherrypies@anise-d-castle6 @tailsoflightning @spookycowz @eve05glee @snffbeebee @angelessquirrel @deans-baby-momma @natura1phenomenon @tftumblin @gh0stgurl@screechingartisancashbailiff @kersumgen @herscrunchiehairtie @dreaminemz @staradorned @monkeymcpoopoo @a-girl-who-loves-disney@andthatsmyworld @greenarrowhead @savio-the-depressed-moose @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @greyeyedsmile14 @sundownridge @adoptdontshop-blog@casper57@twentyonesupernaturalartist @traceyaudette @rainflowermoonlibrary@rainflowermoonlibrary @luciathewinchestergirl@almostelegantfire @thefaithfulwriter @deansgirl-1968

If I tagged you and you aren’t normally on my tag list, I thought you would enjoy the story. Fair warning, it is a slow burn so we will get to the bottom of the issue later, but the burn is what makes it soooooo sweet. I’m really excited for this series, and would love your feedback:) Thank you!

If you want removed let me know. After 3 chapters I will only tag those that I normally do, or those that ask:)

#mcu #marvel series #marvel #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #series #steve rogers x reader series #steve rogers series #used to be overlooked #justkending #new series #chris evans

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hes-writer · 5 years

Text

The Hate You Give

Hi hun! If you’re not too busy, could u write one where they’re are dating and she’s a latina? Like she feels insecure about her brown skin, slightly bigger chest and ass, her thick dominican accent bc the girls who were linked with him before were all white and blonde and like she tries to break up with him bc of all the hate and differences. Thanks honeyy!!💖💖 @champagnehaarry

disclaimer; I'm not latinx and I've done research as to not offend or stereotype this character to the best of my ability.

Summary: Y/N is latina and receives hate messages

Warnings: angst, fluff

——

Y/N was different. She knew that, well, she had an idea ever since she hit puberty way back when. Her chest had grown bigger than the rest of the girls and her bottom would get her catcalls when she walked down the street. She could handle it, she prided herself in being strong. She didn't mind her accent, not one bit. Sure, it was thick and her pronunciation on certain words had others asking for her to repeat what she just said maybe once or twice, but she tried to understand where they were coming from; ‘everyone has their differences,’ she thought. Her skin never really bothered her–in fact, she hadn't spared much thought about its pigment until now.

When she met Harry, all her insecurities washed away as if she was just a regular girl meeting the love of her life. The way she looked didn't matter to her because she could see in his eyes that he loved her—nobody could tell her any differently.

——-

Y/N was strong. So strong that even when the media caught the first sight of Harry and her hanging out together on their third date, she blew off the fact that one of the cameramen shouted at them, "Harry! Who's this beautiful brown lady with you?" One might say that it was a compliment, at least he called her beautiful, but she couldn't shake off the measures that person took to describe her. Couldn't have he just called her 'lady'? Y/N decides that she's making a bigger deal out of it than it actually meant.

The second time something remarkable happened—it was when Harry stopped their romantic walk to take pictures with his fans. Y/N didn't mind, she loved that Harry was so dedicated to the people that support him that he would basically give all that he can to them. He didn't have to, but he did and that made Y/N fall harder for him. One of the girls asked Y/N to take a picture, handed her their phone and posed with Harry. Y/N was surprised at the straightforward action and she knew that she could not mess this up. Not when the girl has probably been dreaming of this moment her entire life, Y/N will not be responsible for a blurry, half-assed picture. Instead, she asks the girl,

"Do you have any requests on how to take it? Portrait or landscape? Nothing below the waist or..?"

Harry admired her for being so caring, he only smiles at her for asking, being so patient that he feels giddy on the inside and he cannot wait to ask her to be his. The fan, however, furrows her brows and her face morphs into one of confusion.

"Can you repeat what you said?" Y/N repeats her statement but was only met with the same expression-–maybe with a hint of annoyance.

"I'm sorry, can you just take the picture? I don't want to be rude but your accent is so...thick, are you even from here,"

"Obviously not," the girl's friend answers for Y/N. The most obvious answer, if any. The girl beside Harry nudges her friend, eyes shifting from her and then hardening towards Harry as if warning her that she was being a bit rude.

Regardless, the friend eyes Y/N up and down with a glimmer in her eye that spoke hatred.

Y/N takes the picture anyway.

——-

As Harry and Y/N reach the door to her apartment, she couldn't help but think of the past events. It wasn't only that, it was a built up of temperament where she had been treated indifferently by people around Harry. Some fans commented under her selfie on Instagram ranging from "at least you have boobs and ass girl" to "how much fake tan does she use" —none, by the way, she was all natural. And Y/N can't help but feel a tad insecure.

Then came the news articles with the headlines, "Harry Styles Spotted With A Spicy Latina" or "Harry Snags A Girl From Down Under" which confuses her not only because they're an invasion of privacy but she wonders how her whole humanity can be diminished into such an objective headline—she had a name. Granted, she wasn't really worth knowing but regardless, it was better to be called by her name rather than a hotshot eye-catching headline.

She taps the link to one of the articles, scrolling through the lengthy piece of work, eyes squinting at the introduction where it states that Y/N was certainly a deviation away from Harry's usual hookups. Harry had taken it upon himself to make them some hot chocolate while she got changed in comfier clothes as a conclusion to their date night. She was supposed to choose the movie. Her eyes squint at the words "10 Proofs that Y/N Y/LN is a no match for Harry"

The first one on the list was Taylor Swift. Of course, how could Y/N forget about her. Skinny, blonde and pale skin, a stark contrast to her curvy figure, wavy hair and darker toned pigment. She feels a lurch in her stomach from the hit of realization.

Then came Camille Rowe—a model with similar attributes as Taylor. Completely the opposite of Y/N and she feels herself getting more sick at the knowledge being pounded into her. She didn't care about Harry's past because she only cared for who he is in the present. Seeing the women he went for before her puts a stake right through her self-esteem knowing that she would always be compared with one of them as long as she and Harry were together. Her confidence staggering each time she reads a negative comment about how her skin color made Harry stand out whereas it made her blend in the background-a sarcastic joke that wasn't very funny. Her breath hitching every time the topic of her accent came up; how fans who've met her in person make fun of her not having an understandable accent as if it was her fault that her pronunciation was too broad beyond their compare. And each time she sees a comparison of her and Harry with him and his exes, she shakes her head because she knows that literally nothing good ever comes out of that.

She knows she's strong. But why did this hurt her so much? The personal attacks being hurled at her made her feel so inferior to others and even to Harry! It was like the media was never gonna get used to the fact that she's a person of colour—continuously writing papers about their 'interracial' relationship as if it was such a huge deal when really, it was not even their business to pry or scavenge for.

"Hey love, have you chosen a movi– hey, hey what's wrong?" Harry walks through the doors of her bedroom, feet kicking the door slightly open while his hands carried two steaming mugs of foaming hot chocolate. Upon seeing her tears and slouched stance, he sets the cups down on the bedside table before sitting with her at the foot of the bed.

Y/N stares at him as he does so before wiping her eyes with the heel of her hands. "Nothing, it's nothing just.."

"You can tell me anything, you know that. Now tell me what's wrong, lovie" He wraps an arm around her figure as an action of comfort, but Y/N only sees it as a burden in her chest.

"I think we should break up, H" She looks at her sock-clad feet. Not being able to look at him in the eyes, it's her weakness.

"What? Y/N, did I do something?" Harry tilts her chin up towards his face, eyes frantically searching her red ones for a justifiable reason for her decision.

"I'm not good enough for you," Harry gasps at her confession, genuinely surprised that his girlfriend could even fathom to say those words, let alone think of them.

He denies every claim about her theory but his voice was muted by her mind repeatedly playing the things she had read a few minutes ago. Memories of her being demeaned echoing through her head.

"You're the best person I've ever been with. It doesn't matter what other people sa—"

"Yes it does, Harry! It definitely matters when I'm being constantly picked on and compared to your ex-girlfriends. Every day I read something about how I must've 'tricked' you into being with me because of how I look," Y/N cuts Harry's rant off, not caring if it hurts him because she was so so hurt. The pain had embedded itself in her, working its way up to her roots; who she was and where she came from.

"I'm not just another girl that Harry Styles dated. I'm the brown girl, the one who has the 'biggest ass' out of all of them and especially the darkest because you... you've only dated people like Taylor before and I can't live my life being put down because of how I look,"

Harry stares at her with emotion. Of course, the media was gonna pinpoint what his 'type' was. He didn't know it was hurting his love.

"Y/N, they're all bull. Whoever's writing this shit, they're only in it for the money," he begins, forcing her body to face him completely. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. They're my exes for a reason and even if I did date them, I'm with you now because I love you for who you are,"

"But it's true, isn't it? They're all so small and I'm big. They're half the size of me for god's sakes!"

"It's not true. And you know why? You're mesmerizing in your own way. I love the way your body curves, the way you look doesn't matter to me as much because you're a beautiful, genuine person inside and out," He nods along to his words. "But your body is amazing, Y/N. And you should learn to love your skin because it shows you who you are."

Y/N bored at Harry's eyes, seeing nothing but genuine kindness behind it. Her mouth gapes open having not heard such compliments from anyone as authentic as the words Harry was speaking to her.

"Harry..."

"No, Y/N. I won't sit here and listen to you put yourself down. You deserve to know how unbelievably gorgeous you are. The tabloids, the hate—they're not true and people like them need some education before they go off dragging other people who don't look like them down."

"You're right, H. I'm sorry,"

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about,"

She wipes tears from her eyes, this time they're from happiness.

——

@ynm1505

#harry #harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles imagines #angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harrystyles #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurbs

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theonyxpath · 4 years

Link

Wooo! The Kickstarter for V5 Cults of the Blood Gods is going live tomorrow (or today depending when you read this), Tuesday, December 17th at 2pm Eastern US time! We’re doing this Kickstarter in order to create a traditionally printed book that we’ll print and deliver to backers and overprint more books in order to get Cults into stores!

Here are some of the highlights of the book, provided to me by developer Matthew Dawkins:

• An in-character breakdown of the rise of esoteric beliefs among the ranks of the undead and how faith drives many of the major aspects of vampire culture.

• A host of religions — from historic theocracies and globe-spanning conspiracies to fringe cults and mortal beliefs arising in the modern nights — introduced for incorporation into your character backgrounds or as supporting casts and antagonist groups in your chronicles.

• The history, structure, and ambitions of the Hecata, the vampire group known as the Clan of Death, as well as a chapter dedicated to playing a vampire among the Necromancers, and the rituals for their Discipline: Oblivion.

• Guidance on how to use ecclesiastical horror and construct cults in Vampire, making them a vivid backdrop for your own stories, including new coterie styles focused on cult play.

• Faith-based story hooks and a full story centered on the activities of the Hecata, involving walking corpses, ghosts, ready-made characters, and the secrets of the most twisted family in the World of Darkness.

• New Loresheets, Discipline powers, and Predator types for inclusion in your chronicles, encouraging player characters to engage fully with the material presented in this book.

Visually, as folks will see when the KS page goes live, it’ll be a gorgeous book featuring much of the same qualities and artists as V5 Chicago By Night.

Just fair warning: we continue to look for methods to cut shipping costs outside the US, yet the shipping for V5 Cults of the Blood Gods has shipping costs in line with our more recent KSs this whole year, rather than the shipping costs we were working with when we KS’d V5 Chicago By Night.

As I’ve mentioned before, we know the costs are high, but they are the costs quoted to us from our shippers here in the US, and passed on to backers. I continue to think it better to give our non-US backers a choice as to whether to back and pay the shipping costs and be part of the KS (including getting Stretch Goals, and all), rather than Onyx just not shipping outside the US as many TTRPG companies have decided to do with their KSs.

Basically, shipping costs are high, and they suck. We will keep searching for avenues that could cut those costs – never fear!

CofD Dark Eras 2 art by Alex Sheikman

Here are some brief nuggets of things we want you to know about this week, besides the V5 Cult of the Blood Gods Kickstarter:

If you haven’t seen the promos on our social media, Onyx Path is part of DTRPG‘s Teach Your Kids To Game sale! You can get the Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau core book PDFs half-off! https://www.drivethrurpg.com/rpg_teachkids.php

When I was at PAX Unplugged I sat down for an interview about art directing for TTRPGs in general, how I got started art directing for White Wolf, how art directing has changed since then, and specifically how I went about devising the look and feel and artistic style of Mage: The Ascension first edition and how the look evolved from edition to edition.

As is typical for me with interviews, I absolutely have no idea how it went. Like, did I talk too much, did I answer their questions at all interestingly, did I reveal too much? But I got a lot of really nice comments from folks about the Werewolf one, so hopefully this one sounds good to y’all. Thanks, Terry!http://magethepodcast.com/index.php/2019/12/14/mage-noir-with-matt-webb-and-the-art-of-mage-with-rich-thomas/

Lunars art by Gunship Revolution

Finally, we spent a lot of time setting up what everybody will be doing for the next couple of weeks, as today’s Monday Meeting was our last one for the year! From here until after New Years, we’re trying to give folks enough space to handle the holidays, while we still have projects rolling at full speed!

In fact, it’s not uncommon for freelancers – which is what the vast majority of our creators are – to use holidays to really dive into their freelance projects. Certainly, I always did that when I was freelance illustrating. Having a deadline is a great reason for ducking out on a long family event! (Not that I do that any more!)

But, never fear, true believers!

I’ll still be assembling the next two weeks’ Monday Meeting Notes with updates and Kickstarter news, and with some short year-end focused content! We just aren’t having the Monday Meetings those weeks.

And, of course, we hope all of you have happy holidays and plenty of time for playing in our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

Kickstarter!

V5 Cults of the Blood Gods goes live at 2pm Eastern US time on Tuesday December 17th!

Onyx Path Media!

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast Is our Holiday Special 1: Podbean Live Test Episode! Check it out direct on Podbean, or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

Just because it’s the holiday season doesn’t mean we’re stopping with our gaming streams! This week we’ve got Vampire: The Masquerade, Trinity Continuum, Scarred Lands, Hunter: The Vigil, Changeling: The Dreaming, and Mage: The Awakening, and we’ll undoubtedly be dropping a surprise stream or two into the mix as well!

Subscribe to twitch.tv/theonyxpath to keep up with our streams as and when they happen!

As ever, we’ve got a lot of YouTube content coming up too. This week, expect to see an interview regarding Pugmire and Dystopia Rising: Evolution, actual plays of Changeling: The Lost and Aberrant, and a behind-the-screen special for Scion!

Subscribe to youtube.com/user/theonyxpath to catch up on all our content!

Matthew Dawkins – The Gentleman Gamer – continues with his Gentleman’s Guide to Scion over on his channel, and will be doing a few V5 Cults of the Blood Gods videos too!

Subscribe to him on youtube.com/user/clackclickbang right here!

Mage: The Podcast recently had occultist S Rune Emerson walk through the history of Tarot and the symbology of the Mage the Ascension Tarot: http://magethepodcast.com/index.php/…-rune-emerson/

A group of podcasters and Storyteller Vault writers are looking for input on what kind of publications and podcasts WoD and CoD fans would like to see in 2020. If you complete their survey, you can be entered into a drawing for a $200 DriveThruRPG gift card. The survey is available here: bit.ly/wodcodsurvey2019

Here’s Occultists Anonymous returning with two new episodes

Episode 64: Small Details As the cabal waits to hear back about a meeting with the Union, Atratus begins to research vampires, Wyrd develops her labyrinth, and Songbird makes a phone call. https://youtu.be/UoyrYH_PM3A

Episode 65: Ignorant Fools The cabal take the lead in meeting with the Union on behalf of the Phantasm Society, and perhaps many other supernatural beings trying to lay low. https://youtu.be/8sTnubeBl44

Red Moon Roleplaying recently concluded their Mummy: The Curse actual play and are currently running a Changeling: The Lost chronicle! You can subscribe to their YouTube channel here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1wvSKstApo9vYYq1wEDtmQ

Drop Matthew a message via the contact button on matthewdawkins.com if you have actual plays, reviews, or game overviews you want us to profile on the blog!

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And NOW Scion Origin and Scion Hero are available to order!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we are proud to announce the PDF and physical book PoD versions of the Aeon Aexpansion for Trinity Continuum: Aeon, a collection of additional material that came out of the Kickstarter, including:

Information about new noetic biotech, hardtech cyberware, military weapons, and other technologies of the early 22nd century.

Rules for creating and playing psiad and superior characters within the Trinity Continuum.

Rules for playing psions in the modern day setting of the Trinity Continuum Core Rulebook.

And more…

Plus we’re also releasing the Trinity Continuum Aeon Screen in PDF – all on DriveThruRPG

Conventions!

2020: Midwinter: January 9th – 12th, in Milwaukee, WI. Check out David Fuller’s Athens, Ohio Scion actual play tie-in adventure (soon to be coming to the Storypath Nexus community content site) that will be running at Midwinter. The event url is below: https://tabletop.events/conventions/midwinter-gaming-convention-2020/schedule/402

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

Duke Rollo fiction (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

TC: Aberrant Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Redlines

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Second Draft

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Development

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

Manuscript Approval

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)

Buried Bones: Creating in the Realms of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Post-Approval Development

Scion LARP Rules (Scion)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Editing

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Let the Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Geist 2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Mythical Denizens (Creatures of the World Bestiary) (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad (Scarred Lands)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Post-Editing Development

TC: Aeon Ready-Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Vigil Watch (Scarred Lands)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Indexing

ART DIRECTION FROM MIKE CHANEY!

In Art Direction

Contagion Chronicle

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Ex3 Lunars – Contracted.

TCfBtS!: Heroic Land Dwellers – LeBlanc working away.

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed – Contracted.

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

Cults of the Blood God (KS) – Ready for KS.

Mummy 2

City of the Towered Tombs

Let the Streets Run Red – Art notes and contracts finishing going out this week.

CtL Oak Ash and Thorn – Rich doing artnotes.

Scion Mythical Denizens – Finals coming in soon.

Deviant

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad – Totally contracted.

Vigil Watch – Wrapping up AD stuff this week.

Legendlore (KS)

Technocracy Reloaded (KS)

In Layout

Chicago Folio – On it.

Trinity Continuum Aeon: Distant Worlds – Haven’t forgotten it.

Pirates of Pugmire – With Aileen.

Proofing

Dark Eras 2 – Off to WW this week for approval.

Trinity Continuum Aeon Jumpstart

M20 Book of the Fallen – Getting it to PoD this week.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Approval needed, then Backer PDF out to backers.

VtR Spilled Blood

At Press

V5: Chicago – Shipping to the KS fulfillment shippers. PoD proofs ordered.

Aeon Aexpansion – PDF and PoD versions on sale on Weds at DTRPG!

Geist 2e (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition) – Being printed.

Geist 2e Screen – Being printed.

DR:E – Being printed.

DRE Screen – Being printed.

DR:E Threat Guide – Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties – PoD proof on the way.

Trinity RMCs

Tales of Good Dogs – PoD proof ordered.

Memento Mori – Backer PDF going out to backers soon.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

Today is the birthday of Wassily Kandinsky, a painter born in 1866 whose later paintings after WWI were completely abstract. Now most of our illustrations depict things rather than going for abstractions, but how they depict them stylistically, and why different people respond to the different approaches our illustrators use, is part of creating the moods inherent to our various game lines. There’s something else going on in our brains when we see art beyond just IDing that the piece looks like a thing, and Kandinsky was creating abstract art intended to evoke sound and meaning because he supposedly had a direct link to that part of the brain. According to popular thinking, he was one of those rare people who “hear color” and “see pictures” when he listening to music. There’s not really medical proof he indeed had synaesthesia, as it’s called, but he did recall hearing a strange hissing noise when mixing colours in his paintbox as a child, and later became an accomplished cello player, which he said represented one of the deepest blues of all instruments.

#Onyx Path Publishing

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iamsonyeondone · 6 years

Text

heir! seventeen // choi seungcheol

♥ so fluffy!!!

♥ 2 k words

♥ summary: the student body president always had something for you but with you being too oblivious, you simply needed a little bit of help noticing

ok lemme tell you about our leader choi seungcheol

Not only does he have the most beautiful faces I've seen in my entire life, this boy is a dedicated student committee president of Pledis High, an elite school in Seoul

And he's also the second heir to his father's business in Daegu!!

As expected of our president, this boy is the nicest honey baby in the entire school like now wonder he has a whole club of fangirls making sure he's eaten and well-rested

I want to be a part of that protection squad thank you very much

and you on the other hand, despite the average family background, you enrolled into Pledis High by a scholarship!! Look at you!! Making me proud!! You smart baby!!!

And as much as you want to have a balanced high school experience, you. just.couldnt.keep.up and instead used all your time studying at the back of the school

hmm?? people say there's a ghost roaming there?? wELL you don't give two shits because no korean ghost will stop you from getting into a college

ever since that rumour was spread around, your favourite study place is always empty and calm and you don't have to face people and put your anxious cute butt to suffer!!

But one day, you hear shuffling of feet behind the pillar that was blocking you and you just?? froze?? WAS IT THE GHOST?? why would it show up after three months?? and nearing your exams wth piss off >:[

"hYung what the heck everything is scattered!!!"

"it wasn't my fault you switched the fan on, soonyoung,"

"yeA bUt you should've warned me first :(("

"can you two just shut up and pick it up?? the SC room ( aka Student Committee) is in worser condition,"

Who?? Are?? They??

Curiosity got the best of you as you peeked from behind the pillar, spotting two boys picking up papers of the ground and you couldn't help but think that the black-haired one looked so familiar?? or maybe you're myopic who knows

As the wind blew, the scattered papers flew along, one of them sweeping under your feet

Until you see a hand reaching out towards it- wait WHAT "whOAH WHo- what are you doing here??" Seungcheol screamed as he tumbled backwards and fell onto his butt, fear evident on his face

Lo and behold black-haired boy was none other than Pledis's student committee president

"w-what why can't i be here?? You don't own this school," what were you even saying?? All you knew was that your fingers were trembling and your feet were rooted to the ground from the sudden ouTbUrst

"oh hi (y/n)," Soonyoung waved towards you with a wide smile crinkling his eyes

"you know her??"

"oh yeah she's my classmate, pretty quiet but the smartest out of all of us," just as Soonyoung was giving a summarized introduction of yourself to him, you glanced back and forth from your classmate and the student committee president with so much confusion

And as much as Seungcheol flew away from your appearance, he was actually just shocked to see you! Because everyone knows you hunny, who else always tops her classes as you internally deteriorate from the lack of sleep omg

Not only because you're one of the smartest but he's always found you interesting?? And pretty cute ;)))

You grabbed the paper beneath your feet and before you know it, you're helping them gather all the materials and,, walking,, up the stairs,,, with them

When was the last time that you were actually on the same pace as someone else??

"how did you even get that maths question on last weeks test?? I almost squished my head trying to figure it out," Soonyoung was flailing his arms, a stack of paper in each hand as you looked over him cautiously, afraid that all of you had to painstakingly sweep all of them up again

"oH uhm it's pretty easy once you memorised all the formulas, its just applying it in the right sequence," and slowly, it was actually pretty easy to talk to your classmate!! Like he's always bursting with energy but he makes sure he isn't crossing the line

And about Seungcheol?? Well, he's too busy trying to grasp the fact that you,,, are beside him,, and your side profile is so mesmerising to watch– until Soonyoung tosses a question his way and he's just???

And both pair of eyes are staring at him but he's more focused on YOUR eyes staring at him and he kinda shortcircuits, stuttering an excuse when he barely gets to his second word

whiPPeD™

and Soonyoung catches oN and kinda just smirks at him, wiggling his eyeborws and all that pizzazz ',:)

"(y/n) why dont you join as at the SC room?? We have some snacks there and since you helped us out, it's the least we could do!!" Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet as his eyes gleamed

"sure why not? but I can't stay for long though, I have extra classes in about an hour,"

"yAY CMON LETS GO"

For the next few minutes or so, the boys bickered among one another about the previous incident and you were introduced to Jihoon, the vice president of the student committee

He's pretty cold at first but after a few jokes, Soonyoung making a fool of himself and being a total savage!! he actually becomes a pretty chill person to hang out with

And amongst all the joking around, Seungcheol finAlly opens up and joins the conversation

Like the two of you would've been best buds if he wasn't so enchanted by you and you being so anxious to meet new people

but look at you two now!! laughing and fooling around awww

But fun always comes to an end as your alarm goes off for you to go to your extra classes :(( you wave goodbye and thank them for the snacks, jogging back to your study place to pack of your things and GO

But your routine slowly changes and you always find yourself at the SC room?? Back of the school who??

It's either you're accompanying Jihoon by studying beside him or having your lunch with Soonyoung and talking about the latest class gossip oR helping Seungcheol out by organizing their documents and talking about anything and everything while doing so

A week later and you open the door to the SC room to only see Seungcheol and he looks panicky and distressed by looking at the laptop in front of him and you wonder where the other two went because their stations are clean and their seats were pushed in

"What's with the long face?" you attempt to joke, but your voice didn't hide the worried tone beneath it

As much as you would want to deny it, your feelings developed for him, seeing more than just the president or a friend

And imagining what it would be like to have your fingers intertwined with his or the feeling of his lips on your forehead and enjoying a cuddle session with him

But that's not your priority right now, you took the seat beside him, head tilting slightly to see his features – his eyes squinting, eyebrows furrowed and his lips curling into a frown

"It's just... you know the upcoming charity festival? The one that Pledis always organize at the end of the year? This time they wanted something different and more appealing to teenagers but Pledis have been doing this for more than a decade and it's difficult to choose an idea something that hasn't been used," he rambled on, letting his palms cover the stress etching his features as he groaned and sigh into them

"first things first, calm down, its not the end of the world. Here, drink some water and let your brain rest a little. I'm sure we'll think of something,"

"we?"

"yeah dumbass, it's impossible if you do all of these yourself," you chuckled, taking control over the laptop as you reviewed the past year's themes and the popularity of each year

After much research on the current trends, you managed to write down a few for Seungcheol to shortlist but just as you were about to call out to him, you were greeted by his sleeping figure, his head rested on his arms as you chuckled to yourself

With no one around, your hands itched to brush away his bangs from his eyes

"why do you have to be so hot? Pfft, if i told you that right now, you would probably be a mess and deny it, just like every compliment I've given you," you chuckled, laying your head on the table to get a better view

"as much as your humbleness is attractive, it gets annoying how you don't accept the praise you deserve. Like wth Seungcheol, you're more than just amazing that I'm not worthy of liking you," you mumble, you fingers moving on its own as you brushed his bangs away from his face

"is that all you wanted to say?" he muttered, taking you aback as you jumped slightly in your seat, hand retracting and all in all being a blushing m e s s

"you were awake this whole time?

"i was just resting my eyes, dummy. But now that you mentioned something.." he trailed off, stretching in his seat and looking towards you a small smirk adorning his face while his tinted red ears were a contrast to his sudden confidence

"so you like me?"

"y-yOu didn't hear anything, I was just... Uhmmmm taLKING to the screen,"

"then why were you brushing through my hair?" he chuckled with that smug smirk you desperately want to wipe off

"i dont know Seungcheol!! Maybe dont look so cute when you rest your damn eyes!!" you exclaimed in panic, eyes wide as you huffed, looking away and towards the laptop in front of you

but then you feel a hand guiding your chin to look towards him, your cheeks practically felt like they were on f i r e

"I've waited so long to say this, don't try to brush of your confession now. I like you too (y/n) oh god i probably liked you before we even became friends. You were always so hardworking, doing whatever it took to get what you wanted. Don't even get me started on how gorgeous you are. Can't you tell? I'm whipped for you, (y/n)," he nervously chuckled, biting his bottom lip in anticipation as he waited for your reply

But words seemed to fail you as you watched on, your mouth gaping

Seungcheol leaned in, brushing your lips with his being an absolute tease

And you couldn't handle it any longer, pulling him by the collar as the both of you properly kissed, surprising him as you took his breath away, his heart racing a mile a minute

And all you could hear was the pounding of your heartbeat against your ears

once you pulled away, you leaned against his chest, weak from feeling his lips against yours as he let out a throaty chuckle

"impatient much, princess?" and the sound of the nickname sends shivers down your spine as you buried your face deeper into his uniform and the heat from your face could possibly start a fire

"You're too cute, what am i going to do with you?" even without having to see his face, you could tell that he had his widest gummy grin plastered on his face and the thought of it brought a smile onto yours

Before you could detach yourself from him, you heard a small thud from behind the door, and the feeling in your gut tells you that something, or somebody, had been there longer than you expected

"soOnyouNg keep it down!! You're gonna give us awAy–"

"bUt HyUng–"

"we should've known we got set up," you groaned, diving into your palms to hide the embarrasment rising to the surface

"well, we wouldn't be here without them, princess," Seungcheol teased, pecking your cheek as you nudged him away yet your bashful smile remained

You wouldn't have it any other way; being in the SC room with your three favourite people.

Of course your dear Seungcheol being the first ;))

A/N: who should i write for the heir! seventeen series next?? :D i also hoped this was fluffy enough because I rewrote this 3 times (i lost it each time :I) but i hope all of you had/is having a nice day ♥

#kpop #imagine #scenario #writing #bulletpoint #fanfic #fanfiction #svt #seventeen #choi seungcheol #seungcheol #s. coups #scenarios #imagines #writings #pledis #17

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sunyoonandstars · 6 years

Note

Hi! I'm also new to the family and I'm already in love with all of them, they're all so amazing , generous and gorgeous, that sometimes I wonder if they're even real ,you know? And I was wondering if there's something I should definitely know about the boys? Or something you think I should know? Thank you for being so sweet and kind to us all, you're the best!!

I can totally understand that you already have them in your heart! 💜 I was lost the very second I started researching interviews. They’re all just so genuine and amazing in their own ways.

What you should definitely know about the boys … In general? They’re incredibly hard-working and dedicated to their work and fandom. They love us, their fans, and miss no chance to let us know how grateful they are for our continuing support. They started out pretty young, especially Jungkook, and have been living together since their trainee days (over 7 years ago). They also repeatedly stated – a fact that seems especially important to Yoongi – that they don’t plan on changing that anytime soon, even though by now they are surely old and ‘rich’ enough to be living by themselves. They consider each other family, they deeply care about, rely upon and are always there for each other. There is so, so, so much more, what I’m sure you’ll find out through watching interviews or videos like Run BTS!, Bts Gayo, Bangtan Bomb …

And what I personally think you should know about each of the members for starters:

1. Kim Seokjin / Jin

the ‘mother’ of BTS

mentioned that he doesn’t like being misgendered, so it’s not intended as a nickname but merely as a description of the role he occupies within the group (he protectively cares for the members in an almost mother-like way [e.g. loves to cook for them] especially, the younger ones, and never misses out on a chance to jokingly lament over the fact that he virtually ‘raised Jungkook on his back’)

DO NOT call him eomma/mom or ‘princess Jin’, as some fans used to because he does not feel comfortable about it!

is mostly responsible for/adamant about keeping the dorm clean (or at least that was the case in their first dorm, back when they used to share a room and sleep in bunk beds. Now they have staff who regularly cleans their new, more luxurious apartment, I believe. Or at least I think Yoongi mentioned something similar in a radio interview/podcast once.)

king of nagging

DAD JOKES

he has a driver’s license

family: parents + older brother

Yoongi once called him a “family man” and an “ideal husband” in an interview

Jin once stated that he would want his firstborn to be a girl and the second child to be a boy so his son would have a noona (older sister) that would treat him kindly and that the boy could look up to since he was often being teased by his hyung (older brother)

last year his parents gifted him the most adorable pet sugar gliders

WORLDWIDE HANDSOME

BROAD SHOULDERS (especially for Korean standards apparently)

considers his face (jokingly?) his greatest asset

but underneath it all he is still very insecure (I believe)

likes hearing others call him cute or handsome

loves doing aegyo

actually needs (rather strong) glasses but doesn’t like wearing them because he can’t feel confident when doing so

recently seems to ponder beginning his a career as a hairstylist??? 😳

should stay away from scissors in the future …

has the most genuine, beautiful, infectious, hilarious windshield laugh

often laughs until he literally tears up

because he freaking loves to laugh

and even more to make others laugh

does not mind making a fool of himself in doing so

was literally cast off the street

a member of the staff spotted him walking by and reportedly started running after him because he was so handsome even back then

graduated from college (majored in acting)

alongside RM (Namjoon), he is considered the worst dancer of BTS

yet he is among the hardest-working members because he previously didn't have any kind of background/experience in either dancing or singing (was cast as a ‘visual’)

and because of that he is very hard on himself

has improved a lot since debut

but is not being given enough credit, appreciation, and lines

he loves cooking and food and eating

EAT JIN 🍜

and once was put on a heartbreaking diet (like all idols at some point, probably, but still, it must’ve been incredibly hard on him) and was repeatedly told by his managers he was fat/chubby 😤 (WHERE? I demand to know…)

SIGNATURE: enthusiastically blowing kisses upon kisses upon kisses + HEART EVENTS

because he is simply the sweetest angel there is

2. Min Yoongi / Suga

the grumpy grandpa of BTS

but also more of a ‘father’

because he is practically the dorm’s handyman (usually responsible for changing light bulbs and stuff)

good at working with his hands and fixing things (which RM previously broke …)

MOTIONLESS MIN (because on his [rare] days off he likes to do literally nothing)

strives to be stone in his next lifetime

likes to sleep (A LOT) and is always tired

can literally sleep anywhere

probably because he likes to work/is especially creative at night (once said most his songs are produced between midnight and 6:00am)

insanely talented lyricist/rapper/producer

actually did not audition to become an idol but to become a producer at Big Hit and work behind the scenes

AGUST D ❗️

claims he got his stage/nickname ‘Suga’ because of his pale complexion and his sweet smile (’wanted to promote sweetly’)

despite his ‘bad boy’ image/attitude (especially on-stage)

his hometown is Daegu (which is what the ‘D’ in AGUST D stands for)

his family also consist of parents + older brother

he moved to Seoul on his own back pre-debut

starved for a few months so he could keep on producing/working on his music and career while living off of under-payed part-time jobs

during that time he developed anxiety (suffered several attacks, even in BTS’ earlier days after debut) and depression (which he openly addresses on his AGUST D mixtape. If you haven’t already you should really give it a listen and study the translated lyrics.)

writes/composes songs every day and can do so everywhere, even in crowded public places

he relieves stress through writing/composing songs

doesn’t like going outside and repeatedly stated he ‘doesn’t like people’ (I believe he refers to being around many strangers/in crowded and loud places)

prefers to stay at home

so his ideal date would also be a comfortable night in

Yoongi is usually on the quieter side

but when he speaks up, damn, you can be sure he has something to say

wise beyond his age

great common/general knowledge

very outspoken and straightforward (’savage Suga’/’savage Yoongi’)

so it’s his task to openly scold the younger members and call them out on their questionable behavior

does have his silly/hyped-up moments, though

and they are priceless

can occasionally actually let loose

but it happens rather rarely

always seems to be very observant and contemplative

GUMMY SMILE

HIS SHRUG

MIN GENIUS

workaholic

tends to overwork himself and neglect self-care/sleep/his health (forgets to eat/skips a lot of meals)

his studio is called the ‘Genius Lab’

seems to regularly put himself on a diet?? he seems to be getting skinnier and skinnier, or is it only me, guys??

claims he doesn’t give a shit

but he actually does

cares a lot about the people close to him, simply doesn’t show it so obviously

does not seem too big on showing it through physical contact, too (once said himself in an interview that he wouldn’t be the kind of boyfriend to hold hands or put his arm around his s/o’s shoulder in public because he isn’t the sweet kind of boyfriend like that)

takes care of them ‘behind the scenes’/’in secret’

beneath the gruff exterior, he’s just a huge softie

used to play basketball in high school and was quite good at it, too

he is second smallest in the group (a few centimeters taller than our mochi Jimin)

which sometimes leads him to jump in order to get into the frame when they are taking group shots at award shows and such (it’s adorable)

does not particularly enjoy physical activities and the way they tire him out

loves meat

can actually cook quite well but isn’t as vocal about it as Jin

also takes cooking very seriously (see Run BTS! Ep. 36, for example)

tends to speak in Satoori dialect when he’s nervous

doesn’t consider himself handsome/charming

wants to become even more successful and for his music to reach as many people as possible

Waaaah ….. These turned out longer than expected. I’ll do the other members, too, later on, sweet anon. And maybe repost this as a real headcanon or something tomorrow. For now I, unfortunately, have to go to sleep because it’s 02:30am here and I have to get up in 4 hours … 😁

I hope this helped/was at least close to what you imagined, anon! Take care and feel free to message me anytime!! 💜

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operativehq · 6 years

Photo

after almost twenty four hours after the submit has closed and 11+ hours of reading applications and making painstaking decisions, the long-awaited acceptance post has come. i’d sincerely thank every single applicant for applying because i really don’t lie when i say that i read through every single app and had to make some very tough decisions, some that hurt my heart because almost every app came neck and neck with each other. this entire experience has been surreal -- i never expected for my plot idea to take off so incredibly and for such kind words to be said about it. i definitely did not anticipate 43 apps to end up in my inbox and to have such dedicated and patient applicants. thank you so much to everyone who’s been a part of this experience already, i really, really can’t say it enough or articulate it well.

to people who are not accepted -- i really mean it when i say that i wish i could accept everyone. every single app went beyond my expectations, and if you weren’t accepted it is NOT a testament to your writing abilities or anything personal. having to pick ONE person out of so many apps, or ELEVEN out of FORTY-THREE ?? it’s nearly impossible. it breaks my heart to not be able to accept THIRTY-TWO apps that were so beautiful. i strongly encourage people who weren’t accepted to keep an eye on this rp in case any openings or expansions occur in the future, because i’d really love to have people reapply. i wish i could type with the conviction and passion that i’m feeling right now when i say that every app blew me out of the water, but now i’m repeating myself over and over again. ( if anyone would like feedback on their app or for me to send their app back to them, please let me know over the course of this week. )

with that said, under the cut are the eleven accepted applicants. please send in your accounts within TWENTY-FOUR HOURS and be sure to check out the CHECKLIST as well as the inbox of your character blog once you send in your account so i can send invites to the ooc discord chat !!

CONGRATULATIONS LAURA ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT AURUM, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MALCOLM WEBB ( REECE KING ).

holy crap, laura !! your writing is amazing !! you really made malcolm come alive, with everything from your edits to your stunning biography and description of his personality. my heart really hurt for malcolm while i was reading about his background and you really provided so much depth behind the surface-level rich kid. you displayed his vulnerabilities and desires incredibly well. also, i love how you even added depth to the way his skills ?? thank you so, so much for applying, love, and welcome !!

CONGRATULATIONS EMILY ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT CRIMSON, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS RAFAEL BOLÍVAR ( TYLER POSEY ).

emily -- can we talk about the way you write for a sec ?? it’s absolutely phenomenal. you took a darker twist to crimson than i could have imagined and i loved every second of it. your backstory for him is incredibly unique to me and i’m so excited to work with his narrative throughout the rp !! beyond that, you really know your character well !! i was blown away by your para samples -- the way you wrote his connection with nikolai and also that drabble about him and tony ?? you have such a knack in your writing to be able to sympathize with your muses, like oh my god. i’m so glad you applied and i can’t wait to see how you develop rafe !!

CONGRATULATIONS CHRISTINA ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT CYGNUS, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS RHYSAND ATTWOOD ( HARRY STYLES ).

you truly went above and beyond, christina, and i am honestly so glad you came out of retirement from the rpc to apply !! the cygnus competition was so, so tough, but i kept coming back to your application. not only is your writing incredible, every facet of your application was so detailed it was clear that you had an understanding of rhys !! the thing that completely sold me was that you wrote about every connection rhys would have and how rhys would act and that was so great to see !! i also loved your twist on rhys & odessa’s connection ?? i also love his potential development and the way you tied his story into the plot !! i can’t wait to write with you, love, welcome to operative !!

CONGRATULATIONS TERESA ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT HAWTHORN, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS CALLIOPE MAXWELL ( CARTIA MALLAN ).

my goodness, i absolutely loved your app, teresa !! it was so unique and i loved how you showed how much depth callie had and the development that she has gone through and will continue to go through. i just loved the twist on her backstory and how she didn’t start off too kind ?? you made the skeleton of hawthorn three-dimensional and complex !! also, your ideas for her goal and how to extend it into a plot in the future was so creative and intriguing, i can’t wait to explore it more with you, love !! also, the liberties you took with your para sample absolutely paid off !! i loved seeing callie’s perspective on the provided connections. welcome, teresa !!

CONGRATULATIONS JULIE ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT HYALUS, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS DANAË BAUTISTA ( CLEO LAZULI ).

hyalus was another tough decision, but julie, i absolutely loved your take on hyalus. not only did the memes and vines make me laugh out loud, but you gave such a fresh perspective on our resident hacker. just the aspects ( and perhaps irony ) of her father’s condition made me incredibly sad, but it provided a ton of depth to danaë ?? and i loved the fact that you gave her the label ‘ the icarus ’, the way you explained it made me love danaë even more !! also, your research for the role literally had me with my mouth open while i was going through your app ?? and the fact that you included a family tree / timeline ?? your dedication is unreal. thank you so much for applying and i can’t wait to see danaë on the dash !!

CONGRATULATIONS RHINE ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT MERCURY, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS LYSANDER SEO ( LEE JONG SUK ).

the competition for mercury was probably one of the toughest -- every single app i read for that role was filled with so much effort and talent, that i kept going back and forth between so many. but rhine -- i strongly believe that you have an ability to paint with words. as i kept reading, i was just swept away by your writing ability ?? every single sentence was like a masterpiece !! and the way you wrote lys and his backstory was something i’ve never really seen before, and the amount of research you put into it was amazing !! while i was reading it all, i was internally screaming out of astonishment for your writing and sorrow for lys. he has so much depth and you understand him so well !! i cannot wait to see you play lysander on the dash and in events !!

CONGRATULATIONS EL ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT NOX, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS KINGSLEY LIM ( BANG YONGGUK ).

el, el, el !! your writing is insanely beautiful and by the end of your app, i felt like i understood king extremely well. his backstory had me crying and i loved the way you made nikolai a tether for king. also that pinterest ?? organized from head to toe had me already screaming, but then your explanation for each color and what it meant... it had me on the floor, quite honestly. your understanding of king and the very dark take on nox’s skeleton was stunning to read !! and those last two lines of his bio ?? had me weeping. in any case, i can’t wait to see kingsley develop here and welcome to the rp !!

CONGRATULATIONS GUBSE ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT OPHIDIAN, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS OLIVER KNIGHTLEY ( XAVIER SERRANO ).

goodness, the depth you gave ophidian was astounding -- the anger, the loneliness, the flirtations -- it was all wrapped up into oliver so perfectly ?? and then your development questions... the way you answered them ?? your writing is absolutely amazing !! it's a different vision i had for ophidian, but that’s in no means a bad thing. it's exactly why i loved it so, so much. just the line " he looks in the mirror. ' what are you capable of ? '" gave me shivers. i absolutely cannot wait to see how you play oliver on the dash. congratulations and welcome to operative !!

CONGRATULATIONS MINNIE ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT PHANTOM, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS JIYOON ARIELLA HAN ( PARK SOOYOUNG ).

everything from the biography, to the stats, to the connections, to your character’s goal... all i can say is wow !! i also absolutely loved the pinterest boards that went along with the biography !! every twist and turn that your writing took me on had me love every minute. it was a different take than i expected for phantom, but you captured the skeleton’s essence and really made it your own !! the explanation of her personality just confirmed that you were the one for phantom !! your writing is spectacular and i truly can’t wait to write with ariella !!

CONGRATULATIONS HONEY ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT PHOENIX, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS FRANCIS KANG ( JEON JUNGKOOK ).

holy shit, honey. i was weeping for francis and i really loved your take on phoenix’s connection and the depth you put behind him. i loved how much of a facade he put up & your depiction of him and odessa !! besides all that, your writing is gorgeous !! your in-character paragraph for phoenix really sold it for me !! you really have a good grasp on francis, and your creativity with his background / personality has me so excited to see where he goes and how he’ll develop !! thank you so much for applying and welcome !!

CONGRATULATIONS CLEO ! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE FILE OF AGENT SCORPIUS, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ANGELINA DELAROSA ( CINDY KIMBERLY ).

the scorpius decision was probably the toughest of the whole acceptance process -- each app was absolutely amazing and i was struggling to pick just one. but i kept coming back to yours. your writing is almost poetic, and the way you wrote angelina was something that really pulled at my heart. the fact that you gave so much depth to the scorpius skeleton, beyond just a seductress, really gave it to me !! also, your paragraph samples, your explanation on her personality ?? my goodness, i could really tell that you understood angelina, from the way you wrote her goal, to her despair following nikolai, to the way you even wrote a drabble about her first mission... and the way you described those aesthetics as well !! your app had me absolutely floored !! you’re such a talented writer, and i can’t wait to see where you go with angelina !! welcome to the roleplay, love !!

#skeleton rp #semi appless rp #oc rp #new rp #appless rp #accepted

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litlifelover · 7 years

Text

TUSCANY, MY LOVE

A/N: Welcome to my contribution for the New Author's Month over at @loveinpanem

Nearly two months and 16,000 words later and I can finally present it to you. But this wouldn't have happened if for a couple of very special people, starting with the awesome ladies fom LIP: @thegirlfromoverthepond, @akai-echo, @titaniasfics and @louezem. Thank you for your dedication and all the work you put in. You're doing a wonderful job.

My biggest, warmest and most heartfelt THANK YOU is - together with INCREDIBLE beta @honeylime08 - for my awesome mentor: the unbelievably talented, witty and wonderful @xerxia31 I loved working with you so much, and look forward to our future cooperation. :D

And last but not least: to my best friend, Pez. She's not on tumblr, but she helped with this story like it was her own. I love you so much, bestie!

Enough said, let's start with the story. I really hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the support! :)

Editing to add: AO3 / FFn

TUSCANY, MY LOVE

"If you don't show in the next five minutes, she's gonna have a heart attack."

Katniss groans, the strap of her bag constantly slipping from her shoulder. With every other step, she nearly crushes her heels with the suitcase she's pulling behind her. Damn high heels, she should have worn her sneakers. She's a fit person: she jogs, she visits the gym at least twice a week, she loves hiking. Ok, fine. She could eat a little healthier, but between jobs and her sometimes very atypical hours she can't find the time to cook as well. So it's fast food most of the time. But all in all she thinks of herself as a person with good constitution.

Right now, she huffs like a railroad engine, and her feet hurt like she ran a marathon. All the while she tries to hold her cell to her ear and listen to her best friend’s calm but slightly sarcastic voice. Even though she’s running through a busy airport, she can hear Prim’s hysterics in the background.

Code Red it is.

"Hey!" she puffs slightly irritated. "It's not my fault the flight got delayed."

"Hey!" Madge responds immediately. "It's not my fault you didn't take yesterday's flight."

Katniss rolls her eyes and is thankful her best friend can't see it. "Excuse me that my editor wanted to meet. And I'm here now, so tell her to calm down and I'll be there shortly."

"Sometimes I really think you don't know your sister at all. And don't roll your eyes at me."

It's freaky how Madge just knows the stuff she's doing while only listening to her. It's no surprise they're soul-sisters after all.

Katniss slows to a walk. For one, she's simply out of breath and needs a break, plus the extra 30 seconds at the taxi stand won’t make a difference.

"Listen, Madgy," she tries again, this time without the sass. "Tell her I'm sorry. That I'm on my way and will arrive soon after lunch. That I promise the next three days are all about her. She should relax and enjoy the time with Mom and Dad and all the relatives she hasn’t seen in almost two years."

It's funny, she thinks, but she could swear Madge just rolled her eyes.

They end their phone call just as Katniss steps out into the heat of Tuscany's summer.

xXx

Uncle Haymitch, her mother's older brother, was 19 when he met Evelina Trinchini, an exchange student from Italy. She was superficial, arrogant, and shamelessly flirty - or at least it seemed like it. In reality Effie, as everybody called her, was clever, witty, and generous. Loyal to a T.

It was in the heat of an argument that they started their affair.

It took them six months to realize they were head-over-heels in love with each other. But her exchange year was coming to an end, and before they knew it, Effie had to return to Florence. Haymitch followed her, arguing that as a writer he could work anywhere.

They were like day and night, but somehow made it work. Endless arguments, fights, making up, two sons, four books, and a gorgeous estate in the Chianti valley later, and they still were madly in love.

The year Katniss turned twelve her parents gave her the choice between summer camp or staying for a couple of weeks with family in Italy. Of course she made the decision to visit Italy. Dreary, old summer camp would still be there next year.

It was soon discovered that Haymitch and Katniss had a very unique sort of connection. They were so similar in their behavior, their thinking, even their body language; nobody could deny they were related.

From that moment on, dreary, old summer camp was never an option again. Summers were now spent in Italy. Even as a grown-up she visited frequently, spent her holidays on the tuscan estate, and learned to appreciate Uncle Haymitch's fine taste in wine and his excellence in winemaking.

So when Katniss finally - finally! It's late afternoon already! - arrives at her uncle's estate and stores her suitcase and garment bag in her room, her first visit is to the wine cellar.

"Sweetheart," Haymitch welcomes her with a big hug, the crinkles around his eyes showing his age but mostly his joy that she's back.

"Hey, Uncle Mitch," Katniss sighs, and for the first time today feels herself relax. It feels a little bit like coming home.

"Did you see Primmy, yet?" he inquires, amused, while pushing a glass of wine into her hand. The smell of her uncle's famous Chianti Classico makes her close her eyes as she takes a sip. The ruby red liquid is still her favorite.

"Nah. I had the worst day, so my first stop was down here in the hopes of tasting the latest Abernathy vintage. It gets better every year."

"You still know exactly what to say to make me smile. Complimenting my wine will get you everywhere." They share a grin, but it only lasts a moment before Haymitch sighs, "But it can't be helped, Kitty. Avoiding the crowd won't change a thing. Hurry up, girl! Or your sweet little sister will have a heart attack." His laughter is deep and rumbles through the cellar, the walls reverberating the sound.

Katniss rolls her eyes and takes a last sip. "You're the second person to tell me that today." And with that, she presses a kiss to his cheek before going upstairs in search of her family.

Effie is the first one to spot her, and the screech erupting from her aunt makes her cringe slightly. Seconds later she's once again encased in a tight hug.

"My dear, dear girl! How I've missed you!" the older woman exclaims happily in her still slightly accented English, making a couple of heads turn in their direction.

Katniss embraces her back, and tells herself to ignore the slightly uncomfortable feeling she gets every time someone directs attention towards her, even if it's only within the family. She loves Effie, even though she prattles constantly about fashion, designers and beauty, so Katniss forgives her for the enthusiastic greeting.

It's then that the rest of the family realizes that she’s finally arrived. And it’s quite a crowd, starting with Prim, and her groom-to-be, Rory, her parents, Rory's parents and younger siblings, Effie as hostess with her sons, Katniss' cousins. Of course Madge and Gale are there, too, with their two beautiful daughters. Katniss adores them.

The moment Effie lets go of her, Katniss has her arms full of her little sister, who's actually half a head taller than herself.

"Finally!" Prim snickers. "For a moment there I thought you would pull a no-show."

"Sis …" Katniss sighs over her shoulder and can't stop the eye-roll. "As if I would miss the social event of the decade."

Prim's laughter sounds like tiny bells, and once again the older Everdeen realizes the effect her sister can have. She's charming, and funny, and stunning. Everything Katniss isn't. And to top everything off, she's a freakin' genius.

While other kids played in kindergarten, Prim solved the most complicated puzzles.When one of the teachers discovered that the child was able to spell every word one told her, they had their answer: Prim had an IQ far above the norm.

Although two years younger than Katniss herself, Prim graduated high school three years before her. Her undergrad studies were finished in a quarter of the time regular people normally needed. Medical School was finished in half the time. Residency followed, before the young woman decided to go into the teaching field of her profession.

At 24 years old, Dr. Primrose Everdeen was the youngest professor to ever teach at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. When JHSM started a cooperative research program with the University of Florence, Prim was offered a 3 year contract in Italy. Having family near Florence - and Rory’s job as a software engineer being flexible - they decided to move to Italy for the next few years.

A squeeze to her hand brings Katniss back to the present. She starts to greet the rest of her extended family, gives hugs and listens to news before Haymitch enters with a couple of bottles of wine and announces that they should finally start with dinner, he's as hungry as a 'fucking bear᾿. Which gets him a reprimand from Effie ("Manners, Haymitch!").

Dinner is amicable and light-hearted. Everyone has something to contribute, and conversation never stops at the table.

At one point Madge excuses herself, grabs her daughters and hustles them, under huge protest and with a stern look from their father, off to bed.

Prim mentions how thankful she is that one of her colleagues agreed to be part of the bridal party on short notice, and what a great help he has been the last couple of weeks. Katniss is intrigued, simply for the fact that while her little sister is amicable towards nearly everyone, she is always reluctant to give high praise. Her recognition is hard-earned.

"He is wonderful," Prim gushes, before she nudges Katniss with her elbow and winks. "I'm sure the both of you will get along beautifully."

And that's when Katniss' mother decides to drop the bomb. Now that she thinks about it, she's surprised it took so long. Still, it catches her off guard. A second ago she was talking quietly with Prim about the bridesmaid dresses when suddenly her mother's voice dominates the entire room.

"So, where's Oliver? Will he arrive later? Or tomorrow?"

While there was a constant humming of conversation in the air just a moment ago, now it's deathly silent. You could hear a pin drop.

"Mom …" Katniss finally tries to answer, already feeling the pounding in her head. It's not like her family doesn't know she and Oliver are no longer together. But she didn't tell them what exactly happened either. Only Prim and Madge know the gory details.

But it seems her mother isn't finished. "A couple of weeks ago, you told us you'd bring him."

"Mom." Even Primrose tries to intervene now, while Mr. Everdeen tries to stop his wife with a calming hand on hers. But it seems not even her husband nor the bride-to-be have any power to stop the oncoming storm.

"I'm just curious," Mrs. Everdeen continues, her eyes resting on her eldest daughter, "Six months ago we thought it would be your wedding we'd be celebrating. After all, everything was organized. And now he's not even here on time? He's going to be a groomsman, isn't he?"

"Jesus Christ, Haydee!" Haymitch's angry growl suddenly fills the room, his glare directed at his sister. "She arrived an hour ago. Give the girl a fucking break!"

"For heaven's sake, Haymitch! Language! Thank goodness there are no children present!" Effie chides her husband once again, who obediently only grumbles under his breath, eyebrows knitted.

At the same time Katniss throws her napkin on the table, her appetite completely lost, clears her throat once and stands up. For months now, the story with her ex-boyfriend has been simmering under the surface, an explosion was bound to happen.

"Thank you for reminding me, Mom, that I forgot to inform everyone in this room that I uninvited Oliver, because he's a cheating, conniving, stupid asshole, who thought it okay to bring his mistress to my apartment and fuck her into oblivion while I was on a photo shoot for two fucking hours. So, excuse me if I decided to attend my sister's wedding without him, and that I'm happy I got rid of this fucking piece of shit. I'm off to bed now, thank you for dinner." Katniss turns to her aunt. "Sorry for all the swearing, Effie."

As she leaves the room she can feel the stares following her. The last thing she hears before she turns the corner and rushes upstairs is Rory's calm voice explaining, "Actually, Haydee, Oliver won't be part of the wedding. The colleague and dear friend of ours that Prim mentioned will take over his part. His name's Peeta Mellark."

xXx

Two days later the estate is filled with people.

Her mother apologizes in the morning after the dinner debacle, stating that she's just worried, because when Katniss told them she and Oliver broke up, she shrugged their relationship off as just another bump in the road in her life. Nothing more.

They were together for four years.

Truth to be told, Katniss doesn't believe in love, although her family seems to be a parade full of people finding their happily-ever-after. Her relationship with Oliver had been fun. At some point she almost imagined herself in love. The next reasonable step would have been marriage. But she never felt like he stole her breath away, or made her heart race.

So when she found him and his dirty little secret in her bedroom, of course she was hurt. But more about the fact she didn't see it coming than the actual cheating. Needless to say she threw them out of her apartment, closely followed by the mattress and all of his remaining stuff.

His last words to her had been, "You're seriously surprised about this?! You're as cold as a fish when it comes to feelings, Katniss!"

Of course she cried. A little. Four days later she felt ok. His parting words had cut her, but she simply ignored it and plunged into her work. She was rewarded with a nomination for the International Photography Award for one of the pictures she sold to National Geographic. It’s telling that this made her happier than Oliver ever did.

So, while the major part of her family lives their happily-ever-after with their significant others, Katniss concentrates on her career and is happy with that. Ok, maybe not exactly happy, but content. Yes, content is close enough to happiness, in her opinion.

Therefore, she doesn't really mind going alone to her sister's wedding.

The rehearsal itself is uneventful, everything goes according to plan. The colleague Prim and Rory talked about the night before - What was his name again? Something with Pe? Pa? - arrives a little late. It irritates Katniss slightly, even though her heart seems to skip a beat when she first sees him. He's the epitome of sunshine, nearly blinding: his honey blond hair styled in a short cut, sapphire blue eyes sparkling, his somehow impish smile forming dimples. He's not that much taller than she is, but has broad shoulders and looks downright scrumptious in his grey suit. Handsome gets a totally new meaning.

When he rushes through the garden over to the rest of them, and apologizes profusely to the bridal couple, Katniss' anger vanishes. It seems to have been an honest mistake.

All through the rehearsal, she can't stop her eyes from developing a life of their own and drifting over to him, only to catch him looking back every single time. Which makes her smile softly. It gives her slightly ruffled ego a boost that a very attractive man keeps glancing at her. It even goes as far as her trying to figure out how she's going to be seated beside him at dinner without attracting attention.

Afterwards, her uncle and aunt's estate hums with excitement for tomorrow's event. Prim has never looked lovelier as she and Rory mingle with the people invited to the rehearsal dinner.

While the evening before was spent with alcohol, bright pink feather boas, and bursts of laughter at Prim's bachelorette party - Katniss truly outdid herself - tonight is an elegant affair. It surprises her that so many people are actually here. Wasn't the rehearsal dinner normally an event reserved for the bridal party?

Whatever, she thinks. Her eyes wander over the crowd, unconsciously searching for the attractive groomsman. When she finally spots him, her uncharacteristic giddiness deflates. He's standing with a pixie haired woman at his side and talking to Madge. Although he smiles fondly at her best friend, he looks rather skeptical at the woman beside him every time she says something. Nevertheless he hasn't shrugged off the arm which she has wrapped around his shoulders. When she seems to make yet another comment that makes his frown deepen, the pixie laughs out loud and presses a kiss to his cheek.

Even though the presence of his girlfriend is an unpleasant surprise, Katniss thinks very little of his animated conversation with her best friend, because Gale is also standing with them. But when the girls run up to them and need their father's assistance dragging him away, she can't believe her eyes when she sees him lean into Madge, brush her hair off her shoulder, caress her wrist. And Madge doesn't even seem alarmed in the slightest!

If that hadn't been enough testimony for her, the blatant brush-off and eye roll in the direction of his girlfriend right beside him that follows another of her statements would have been everything she needs to know.

For the next half an hour she mingles, fuming inwardly about the audacity of this man. Who does he think he is? God's gift to womanhood? The attractive ones are always the cockiest.

Finally, she steps up to the bar to order another glass of wine. While she waits she adjusts the neckline of her strapless cocktail dress for approximately the hundredth time tonight, cursing Madge for persuading her to buy it in the first place. It's normally not her style, way too short and it feels like a second skin. Underwear is not an option in this thing. But her best friend insisted that she looked "sinfully hot".

"Hi," a voice interrupts her struggles with the dress, and she gasps slightly out of surprise.

When she turns around she finds herself in the presence of none other than Peeta Mellark (yes, she learned his name by now).

She would have gotten weak in the knees at the smile directed at her if she hadn't witnessed the shameless flirting with Madge. The nerve of him now trying to chat her up. She is about done with the overly flirtatious assholes of this world. Therefore she simply raises one of her eyebrows, scowling at him.

"Hi," she offers curtly, before she grabs her glass of wine, turns around and simply walks away. She's only holding back because she doesn't want to cause a scene on the eve of her sister's wedding.

Katniss is nearly out of earshot when she hears an amused female laugh, and can't help herself but throw a curious glance back. His girlfriend joins him, all spiky hair and skin tight dress, her face nearly … gleeful? Katniss doesn't get it, they must have a very strange relationship. Nethertheless, she can't help but smile proudly when a couple of words reach her ears.

"If I ever saw a brush-off, Peeta, that was the mother of them all."

xXx

Prim is a vision in white.

It's not only Rory who can't take his eyes off of her. Katniss has to use all of her willpower not to burst out in happy tears at the picture of her little sister.

The ceremony is beautiful, as are the vows, and Katniss nearly forgets all about that annoying man from the night before, if he hadn't turned out to be Oliver's replacement. Of course, it's just her luck that one asshole gets replaced by another.

Speeches are given, and they're surprisingly good. The obligatory dances are danced, bride and groom for their first official dance as husband and wife, followed by their father with Prim, Rory with his mom, herself with Gale.

Time flies, and with all the delicious food and splendid wine it's soon time for the newlyweds to wave goodbye to start their honeymoon, leaving all the guests behind to celebrate into the early hours of morning.

Hours after Prim and Rory leave, Katniss finds herself leaning on the bar, but this time a small smile graces her lips. She observes the dance floor, where part of her family is gathered. Moments ago, the band started one of those old, romantic ballads, which somehow makes couples automatically find their way to each other.

She sees her parents sway to the soft tunes, her mother's head resting on her father's shoulder, his hand splayed on the small of her back. Not far from them are Haymitch and Effie, talking quietly to each other, both smiling softly at the other, their swaying out of time with the music. Madge has her arms wrapped around Gale's torso and his fingers play absentmindedly with the strands of hair sweeping down her back. His lips are pressed to her temple.

A surge of sadness rushes through Katniss. It would be a lie to deny that sometimes she feels lonely. Or that she sometimes wishes to feel that kind of happiness, too.

She downs her glass in a single move and reprimands herself, her signature frown back. It's just the sentimentality of the situation, she thinks. And those fucking love songs.

On purpose she lets her eyes wander in the opposite direction of the dance floor, only to catch Peeta Mellark watching her. His smile is much softer than the first one she received from him, not a trace of roguishness to be found. For a second she simply forgets that he annoys the hell out of her, getting lost in his stare which seems to hold her captivated. Suddenly every laugh, every word spoken, every note and sound, turns to background noise. All she can hear is her own breath and the blood rushing through her veins, while her eyes never leave his. The thought that this borders inappropriateness only fleetingly crosses her mind. Time seems to stand still.

And then he winks.

The nerve of that man! The spell broken, she turns her gaze away and gets angry. At him and herself. But more at him. Yes, definitely more at him. It wasn't like she was staring back. At all.

"You're amusing!" she suddenly hears to her right, followed by a chuckle.

When she turns to look at the person laughing at her, she finds the spiky haired woman. Her grin is devilish. Of course, out of everyone, it has to be his damn girlfriend witnessing their staring match.

Not that she was staring. She wasn't.

"Pardon?" Katniss finally finds her voice. Maybe, somehow, she still can conceal that something took place here. She's not even sure what she's talking about.

But then the woman starts to speak, and Katniss doesn't get it how she can still be so amused about all of this. Seriously, what kind of strange relationship do they have?

"At first I simply thought you were immune to his charms. That would have been a miracle on its own, let me tell you. But now I realize there must be something else."

Confusion must be written all over Katniss face. "I don't -"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, sweetheart. You think I didn't see the staring contest taking place just now?"

Katniss blushes deeply. It's embarrassing to get caught in the first place, but when the other one so blatantly points it out it's simply humiliating. And normally, she's not even the kind of woman who would allow such a situation to take place. Especially after what happened to her.

"I'm so sorry!" Katniss therefore starts, guilt and anger - towards him? Towards herself? She's not even sure anymore - battling a war within her. "Really, I don't even know what happened here, but please, let me assure you that I would never ever make a move on someone else's boyfr-"

The thunderous laugh coming from her right makes her stop mid sentence. Ok, all this laughing at her expense actually makes her a little frustrated. What's up with these people?

"Excuse me, but what is so funny?"

The short-haired woman starts to hiccup from laughter, and Katniss is seconds away from simply turning around and leaving.

"Now I get it!" the other finally presses out between gasps for air. "You're simply brainless! This is going to be so much fun to watch." And with these words, a slight shake of the head, and another burst of laughter, the pixie turns around and walks off.

What. The. Fuck?!

What kind of Twilight Zone Scenario has just taken place here? How much wine had she drunk? What did they put in that cake?

When she's finally able to make out her surroundings again, it registers with Katniss that the music has changed to something faster and that people are no longer dancing in pairs but in one huge crowd. Madge and Gale, now joined by his siblings, signal her to join them.

Her eyes wander in the direction to where the strange woman just disappeared, only to discover that she’s standing with Peeta Mellark, still laughing and with tears running down her face, while he seems to be getting paler by the second. When his gaze shoots up abruptly it immediately finds hers.

Fabulous! This couldn't get any more embarrassing. Nethertheless she simply redirects her gaze, juts out her chin, and marches over to her best friends to join them dancing.

So, he and his crazy girlfriend are going to make fun of her? Let them, she couldn't care less! They deserve each other, and she has way better things to do than be bothered by Peeta Mellark's opinion of her.

For the rest of the evening she simply ignores the nagging voice at the back of her mind which calls her a liar.

xXx

It's still early when she steps into the garage and borrows one of the cars. The sun just rises over the hills of Chianti Valley, making the colors richer and deeper, the first rays kissing the tops of the olive trees and grapevines rushing by the window.

It doesn't take her long to arrive at her destination. She parks the car and grabs her camera from the passenger seat.

Although it's been almost three years since she last was here, Katniss still knows the streets like the back of her hand. When she arrives at Piazza del Campo she takes a deep breath and inhales the morning air. It's her favorite time of the day, the place still deserted except for the occasional local. No tourists yet. No street vendors. No constant humming of voices, and life, no oppressive heat. It's like the city takes its breath before another day filled with crowds and noise.

Katniss fell in love with Siena the first time she stepped into it, preferring it over Florence every time. Of course she knows she could never say this out loud or Effie, born and raised in Florence, would be deeply offended. It's no secret the two cities are rivals.

And still, the charm and beauty of the smaller city is undeniable.

She sits down at the piazza, takes out her camera and starts to watch the city through the lens. Now and then, the soft click of the shutter resounds in her ears. She discovers two young women talking, one with a basket full of fresh tablecloths, the other with a watering can. It seems they’re preparing the tables of a café for another day of tourists.

And then - she's not sure how it happens - her camera finds the last person she expects to see here.

Peeta Mellark sits leaning against a wall not far from the café, a sketchbook on his knees and a pencil in his hands. He's concentrating, she can tell from the way his eyebrows knit together. In the early morning light his eyelashes seem endless and Katniss wonders how they don't get all tangled up when he blinks.

She shakes her head, reprimanding herself for even thinking stuff like that. She has no business with him and wants to keep it that way. Best thing to do is simply turn around and visit another of her favorite spots in the city. Far away from the blond devil.

Unfortunately, just a moment later something breaks his concentration, and he looks up. Surprise is written over his face when he sees her standing a short distance away. But then it morphs into a soft smile and he raises his hand in greeting.

Awesome, no she has no choice but to at least say hello.

Katniss is still contemplating if a simple wave back will be enough, and she can be on her merry way, when he makes the decision for her by standing up and walking over to her.

She sighs, but at least remembers to be polite. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Katniss. How are you?" He sounds genuine and nice, and she hates him more because of the little jump her heart makes. Treasonous heart, being affected by such a man.

"Fine," she answers, short and pointed.

A silence settles over them, it's nearly painful, and she desperately thinks of a way to say her goodbyes again.

"Did you catch anything good?"

His question takes her by surprise, and first she doesn't understand what he's talking about. Only the pointed look at her camera makes her realize what he means.

"Oh … um, yeah, there should be a shot where the first rays of sun brush over the top of the Torre del Mangia."

Katniss pauses, not sure why she just told him that. She could have said no and gotten on with her day. But there's no time to ponder over the fact, because Peeta addresses her again, and she's astonished more than anything else at his words.

"That sounds wonderful. Prim showed me some of your pictures from the last time you visited here, and I especially loved the one where you captured Haymitch, crouched down in front of a grapevine and smelling the earth on his fingers, engulfed in the morning light spreading over the Abernathy estate. I looked at it and felt at peace. Your talent is exceptional."

And then he smiles at her, full of warmth and joy, his eyes a sparkling azure and his whole expression showing adoration. And she's not sure if it's for her work or for herself.

It makes her thoughts stop, and her heart beating twice as fast, because he’s just mentioned the picture she loves most in her portfolio, and she can't help but softly smile back at him.

For the first time in months it feels like all the stress leaves her shoulders, lightening her soul, and letting her breathe. The sun shining on her back not only warms her skin, but reaches into the depths of her being and spreads all the way to the tips of her body.

Something between them shifts, and Katniss can't for the love of god remember why she ever thought him so unbearable.

Peeta's arm still holding the sketchbook lowers a little and she catches a glimpse of his drawing: the slender neck and half exposed shoulder of the young woman with the watering can.

The moment they shared is smoke and mirrors.

"Of course," she murmurs. Her smile vanishes, making room for the typical scowl. She should have known. Lowering her guard was simply stupid. This pervert has nothing else on his mind than pursuing women, and Katniss can't believe she forgot that even for a minute. "I have to go."

Where there was a smile a moment ago, utter confusion now resides on Peeta's face. He grabs at his things. "What … why … Katniss?"

"Goodbye, Peeta." Her tone is cold and brisk, and before he has the chance to inquire about her sudden change of mood, she disappears around a corner and is gone.

xXx

When she comes back to the estate she's still rather irritated.

The thing is, she doesn't get him. When they talked today he seemed nice and charming. Genuine. Oh, and let's not forget, attractive. And the next moment she discovered once again that he's a pervert. With no inhibitions. And no shame.

When she rounds a corner into the garden, deep in thought, it takes her a moment to realize that Madge is walking in her direction.

"You missed breakfast," the blonde snickers, but when she sees her best friend’s face, her amusement turns serious. "What happened?"

Katniss shrugs and tries to wave it off, but somehow forgets that Madge can be like a dog with a bone. Her pointed look pierces her down.

"He annoys me," she blurts out, frustration evident in her voice.

"Who?" Madge wants to know, but secretly has a suspicion.

"Peeta Mellark. I ran into him in Siena this morning." Katniss simply states, but can't suppress her eyeroll.

"But why? He's like, the nicest person on earth!" Madge looks at her as if she'd grown a second head.

Katniss grows more irritated. How come he has everybody so wrapped around his finger?

"Excuse me?!" her bewilderment is palpable. "Not only does he think he's God's gift to women, he's also a terrible flirt. You should know!"

Madge is now irritated, too. "What are you talking about? Sometimes you make no sense at all, Katniss."

It's like a dam has broken, and Katniss can't stop blurting out the words. "And I can't believe you didn't recognize his shameful flirting with you the second Gale turned his back. He was all touchy-feely at the rehearsal dinner. Your wrist, your shoulder. And he knows you're married, what does that say about him?"

"What?!" for a second Madge gaps like a fish, before she finds her voice again, her disbelief clearly recognizable. "Katniss! You do realize that Peeta and I go way back, don't you? We both grew up in Old Saybrook, went to school together. It was a nice surprise when we met here. He complimented the bracelet Gale gave me for our wedding anniversary and brushed a wasp from my shoulder so I wouldn't get stung!"

Silence follows in which the two best friends stare at each other.

So, okay, maybe she misinterpreted his actions towards Madge. Now that she explained the situation it makes perfect sense. And it was awfully nice of him, especially with the risk of getting stung himself. Still, that doesn't explain his obnoxious behavior towards his own girlfriend. Surely Madge can't argue that.

"And what about his girlfriend?" Katniss therefore continues. "I can't believe how rude he was to her, rolling his eyes and brushing her off. Nobody deserves that, although their relationship does seem quite strange."

Now Madge is sitting down on the stone wall surrounding the herb garden, and confusion doesn't even explain the look on her face anymore. "What girlfriend?"

Katniss audibly exhales, and can't believe how dense Madge sometimes can be. "The pixie girl? With the spiky hair? And the strange attitude?"

It takes a second, but Katniss sees the moment her best friend realizes who she meant.

The blonde snorts. "Johanna is not his girlfriend. Peeta doesn't have a girlfriend. But let me tell you: it's funny you assume he was making advances when in reality it was her who was shamelessly flirting with me. Peeta stepped in."

Silence.

Well, damn. That actually makes a lot of sense, too. And was quite gentlemanly of him. And she is a fucking idiot, once again seeing something out of context and automatically coming to her own conclusions.

Only now she realizes how incredibly rude she has been every single time they interacted, the last time not even an hour ago. The blush that forms on her face can't be compared to any previous one. She feels like the biggest asshole on earth.

"Oh, sweet Jesus … I'm … Seriously?!"

Madge frowns and nods, her arms crossed in front of her.

"Geez, I really messed up!" Katniss doesn't whine about things, but this situation comes very close to it. Why didn't she simply ask before jumping to conclusions? She can't believe that she misinterpreted his genuine, friendly behavior for a cruel seduction act.

They won't ever let her live this one down.

Madge's anger lasts five seconds, then she relaxes a little and Katniss sees a hint of sympathy flicker over her features. That's her best friend in a nutshell: steadfastly protective when the moment calls for it, but compassionate the very next.

And still, the blonde seems unable to prevent her from more embarrassment.

"And afterwards he still somehow shyly asked about you, because he clearly thought you interesting. And not to forget attractive. It was all over his face."

It feels like a slap in her face. Asshole doesn't even describe her any more. Katniss wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole. Nothing in her life had ever been this mortifying. Hopefully she'll never see him again, or she probably will die from embarrassment. With a huff she sinks down on the stone wall beside her friend, shoulders hunched and head down.

"Listen," Madge pulls her out of her thoughts. "I can see where this came from. You’ve had a bad experience, Katniss, and it's understandable that you guard yourself. And with your talent of somehow always completely misinterpreting situations, I can even comprehend your conclusions. I'm sure, when you explain the next time you see him, he will understand."

She wraps an arm around her shoulders and smiles reassuringly. Katniss leans her head against Madge, but can't suppress a groan, "What makes you think I ever want to see him again?"

xXx

The next couple of days are a little … let's say hectic.

Haymitch's deadline for his latest book is approaching, and he needs to concentrate on his writing, while his eldest son, Nate, keeps everything up and running with the winery.

Effie gets a call from one of her celebrity-clients, the shoes they wanted to wear don't match the fabric, or whatever shit they come up with, so her aunt meets up with her contacts at Salvatore Ferragamo in Florence for an emergency meeting. Katniss didn't even know that a personal shopper could have an emergency meeting.

With Katniss being considered part of the Tuscan household by everyone, it falls on her to entertain the remaining guests for the next couple of days.

While they are at the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Katniss has to take approximately 500 pictures of Madge and Gale's girls trying to lean on it, or push it up, or kiss the top.

When they visit Montepulciano it takes her nearly 30 minutes to convince them to try one of the delicious wild boar dishes the area is famous for. She doesn't have to convince them to drink the Vino Nobile di Montepulciano aplenty.

In Pienza Katniss has to remind her father that they're only allowed 23 kg of luggage per person on the flight back, after he nearly buys a shop out of their famous cheese. Only the promise of convincing Haymitch to send some in the future makes him halt his shopping spree.

In Florence they nearly lose Lily, Gale and Madge's 4-year old daughter, on Ponte Vecchio because she's transfixed by a tiara in the window of one of the many jewelry stores. The girl has the loudest cry in history, so they find her shortly after, and italian ice cream is the cure for everything.

Although Katniss loves her family dearly - and it's fun to show them around what feels like her second home - she can't wait for the return of a little peace and quiet. Yes, she missed Italy. She missed the area, the people, and the Tuscan charm. She even missed the heat.

But she also misses the solitude to concentrate on her own work. And none of all this chaos helps her to get started on her new project.

The meeting with her editor that had delayed her arrival in Tuscany, was actually to discuss the next step of her career: a collection of her most valued photos. Pictures that made her known. Pictures of people, of landscapes, of fashion. She has mountains of material, and she needs time to sort everything out, including her ideas.

Six days after the wedding she gets the remaining horde to Peretola Airport near Florence and waves them off as they board the plane to Munich for their connecting flight to JFK.

Madge is the last one to say goodbye, and they share a tight hug.

"Make amends, hon," she whispers in Katniss’ ear, "He's truly worth it. I promise." One more tight squeeze and the two friends let go. Katniss knows what her friend is implying. A funny feeling spreads inside her, though she can only guess what it might mean.

When they part - one last wave, one last kiss from the girls - Madge gives her a reassuring smile and winks once. And then they're off.

Suddenly it's quiet around her, even though she stands in an airport. She feels ambivalent about the change. On the one hand she already misses the happy babble from the girls, or Gale and Madge's constant banter like flirting. Her parents and the Hawthorne's conversations and amazement about the things she showed them. On the other hand now she's free to plan her days the way she wants.

With a last smile in the direction her extended family just disappeared, Katniss turns around and starts to leave for the taxi stand.

She stops short when her eyes fall on a blond man a few steps over. What are the odds? It feels like Madge just tempted fate with her half-cryptic order to right her wrongs.

But when the man turns around fully she realizes it's not Peeta. Now that the first shock is gone she even recognizes all the details which don't fit: The blond is a different shade, the shoulders are not wide enough, the eyes are brown and not blue.

Half relieved, half disappointed she continues on her way.

And then, halfway back to the estate, it suddenly dawns on her that somehow she’s filed away every single detail she’s learned about Peeta Mellark so far.

Panic starts to rise; it's nearly overwhelming in its force. She's not sure, but by the look on the driver's face she must have gasped. Thoughts race in her head, and the blood rushing through her sounds like thundering water in her ears.

What is happening here? Where are all these different feelings coming from? First, attraction. Followed shortly by hate and disappointment. Now, shame. Regret. But the most alarming: desire.

It's the guilt, she tries to convince herself, ignoring these most inconvenient feelings, pushing them back into the depths of her thoughts, and concentrating on her breathing. Thinking like that is not only dangerous, but most of all senseless. Her mind needs to focus on the thing she came here for: her work.

If she ever meets him again, she'll apologize for her behavior and then be on her merry way. He will live his life, and she will live hers, and everyone will be happy. End of story.

For the time being, she convinces herself, simply ignoring yet another thing by pushing it out of her mind. But she can't stop the single thought racing through her head: What is it about Peeta Mellark that she can't stop thinking about him?

xXx

It's raining cats and dogs. The cobblestones of Piazza della Signoria are old and smooth, and therefore so slippery she nearly tumbles down a couple of times. The soles on her sandals are not helping matters. Finding shelter under the Loggia dei Lanzi is useless, tourists are squeezed together tightly there, so Katniss makes a run for the Galleria degli Uffizi.

Somehow she makes it to the entrance of the museum without getting totally soaked through. There are surprisingly few people, and Katniss decides to take the tour. It's been years since she did this, last time she went with Haymitch when she was still in High School.

She forgot how beautiful it is.

She finds da Vinci, and Botticelli, and Michelangelo. Venus' Birth and The Annunciation are exactly as spectacular as the last time she saw them. She gets lost in the paintings and sculptures … and the people watching them. The urge to take her camera and start taking photos of them looking at the wonderful art is nearly overwhelming.

A small group enters the hall, but they don't look like tourists. It takes Katniss a moment, but then she realizes these are people who clearly work in the field of art. Here and there she picks up a phrase or two, but her Italian isn’t what it should be, given all the time she’s spent here.

When she turns, she finds herself face to face with Peeta Mellark.

He stands a couple of feet away, hands in the pockets of his jeans (and boy, do they fit him well, she can't help but notice), and he appears half surprised, half amused at the fact that she's there.

She’d forgotten that he's an exchange professor at the art department of the university. That's how he knows Prim.

Katniss wants to vanish. She is still mortified by her behavior toward him, and the smile he directs at her doesn't help, especially because she really doesn't deserve it.

It seems she can't make her eyes to cooperate, though. They skim over his figure, take in lean muscles, broad shoulders, sunkissed skin. Forearms carved from marble, like the sculptures surrounding them. She soaks in his appearance - for the first time with no assumptions - and realizes he's beautiful. Her first impression of him being handsome doesn't even come near it.

She allows herself to get weak in the knees, but tries her hardest not to show it. Embarrassment is still the predominant feeling when she's around him.

"Hello, Katniss," he finally breaks the silence. Once again it's him who takes the first step in her direction.

"Hello, Peeta." She sounds like a frightened child, which annoys her and makes her scowl. The laugh from him following that action surprises her.

"There it is," he chuckles. "It's not the same when you don't scowl at me. I'm rather fond of your scowl by now."

This makes her blush, and the urge to simply turn around and flee is strong. But she promised herself to make amends the next time she saw him. Therefore she takes a deep breath and braces herself. With every single spark of courage inside her she finally looks up, their eyes connecting.

His expression is open. Friendly. Somehow tender.

The words get stuck in her throat. Silence stretches between them once again, and Katniss hates herself for being such an idiot when it comes to words and apologies.

It's him who takes a deep breath and starts, "Listen, Katniss -"

But one of the men who entered the gallery with him steps up to them, nodding once in her direction, and then asks him something.

She's too flabbergasted to pay attention, barely notices that Peeta responds to his colleague in fluent Italian before he turns back to her, now looking slightly annoyed.

"I need to go, I've got an appointment with the curator. But …" he pauses, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck. A nervous tick, she assumes, which she finds surprisingly endearing. "Could we meet afterwards? I think …" another pause, but this time when he continues he's certain, "I really think we need to clear some things up."

It takes her a moment to process his words, but finally she just nods dumbly.

Peeta rewards her with a blinding smile, then explains he'll be done in about an hour and suggests they meet at the Statue of David.

And this time it's his turn to disappear around a corner before she gets the chance to do more than accept his proposition.

xXx

Within the next hour Katniss changes her mind approximately 27 times. In the end, she decides to simply bite the bullet: apologize for her terrible behavior towards him, then wish him all the best before a swift escape.

The plan she forms in her head (and which repeats itself in an infinite loop) actually takes some of her anxiety away, together with the reminder that he was the one who suggested they talk. And that he acted collected and nice, with no evidence of anger present.

Peeta arrives 54 minutes after their encounter in the Galleria.

"I wasn't sure you’d actually show," he grins, his hands back in the pockets of his jeans, highlighting his beautiful forearms. Katniss is a goner for arms.

She rips herself out of her thoughts and even finds it in her to answer him with half a smile, "I considered bolting."

"Glad in the end you decided not to let me wait for hours."

He's joking, and there's not even a trace of accusation in his voice. It makes Katniss suddenly remember why she agreed to meet him in the first place. Wringing her hands, she tries her hardest not to blush. She knows he deserves an apology more than anything else. So before he gets the chance to continue with idle conversation, Katniss takes a deep breath and tells herself to just get it over with.

"I'm sorry," she blurts out. The dam is broken, there's no stopping her now. "So sorry. I know now that I behaved like a lunatic, blamed you for stuff without knowing the background, assumed the worst of you. Now I know you're neither a shameless flirt nor a cheater, but a gentleman. I was rude, and insensitive, and - to be blunt - a complete asshole. And I'm really, very sorry. I'm not sure I can ever make it up to you. You didn't deserve my brusqueness, nor my anger, or prejudice."

When she's finished the silence is palpable, even in their busy surroundings. Peeta simply stands in front of her and stares. It's intense, she can feel an excited prickle under her skin, the sounds around them still muted to her ears.

"Wow," he interrupts their silence a second later. "I really didn't expect this. Actually, it was me who wanted to apologize to you in case I did something to offend you in the first place, and it being the reason you've been acting so cold towards me. Seems we were both in the wrong." He nearly looks bashful.

Katniss blinks once. Twice. Isn't sure she heard him correctly. "What?!"

"It's fine, Katniss. How about we simply forget about our unlucky start?" he rephrases, even smiles at her again.

"How do you do that?" She looks frustrated and ashamed at the same time, and now his confusion is clearly visible. It takes everything to not stomp her foot like an angry kid.

"Do what?" he inquires, not sure what she means.

"How can you forgive me, just like that? I would hate me if I was in your shoes." Her eyes drop to her feet again, and she can feel the blush rising again in her cheeks. Shame consumes once more. This whole situation is more than uncomfortable.

Surprisingly Peeta only laughs, and there's nothing malicious about it. "So, thank god you're not in my shoes. Yours are way more attractive anyway."

Her blush deepens, but this time for completely different reasons. "Peeta …"

He sobers up, but doesn't lose the friendly tone to his voice. "Listen, Katniss. You apologized, you explained yourself, you feel remorseful. I would be spiteful and narrow-minded to hold a grudge against you when you chastise yourself the way you do. Which - by the way - isn't necessary at all. To be honest, the whole situation is a bit funny. Very romantic comedy, if you ask me."

His smirk is contagious and Katniss actually has to laugh out loud at his explanation. It somehow feels like all the worries she carried on her shoulders the last couple of days simply fall away with his forgiveness. She can't help but join in his friendly banter. "Only that there's nothing romantic going on here."

For a second he pauses, and she could swear his smile freezes on his face, but then he's back to nodding along, together with an amused, "Yeah … um. Of course."

She writes it off as imagination.

"So …" he starts speaking again when their chuckles die down. "Now that we’ve come to the conclusion that you're not totally disgusted with my presence, how about I buy you some gelato? I happen to know the best gelateria in all of Florence."

She crosses her arms in front of her. "Shouldn't I be the one offering to buy you ice cream?"

His smirk turns mischievous. "Not when you call it plain, ordinary ice cream. It's gelato. That's not the same. And let's face it: You have a lot of groveling to do, so if I say I’m going to buy you some gelato, you simply have to accept it as part of your groveling process."

Katniss playfully groans. "I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

"Nope," he beams, showing his dimples. Now that they’ve cleared up the situation, she at least doesn't have to feel bad about finding his smile drop dead gorgeous anymore.

Or, him. Like, all of him. Not that she's ever going to admit it out loud.

Peeta nods towards his right, and with an answering smile from Katniss they start to walk.

xXx

Weeks fly by.

Katniss isn't exactly sure how it happens but somehow she finds herself spending quite a lot of her time with Peeta.

Sometimes they share lunch when she happens to be in Florence and he has no lecture. They visit vernissages together; Peeta has a nose for upcoming artists. They go for coffee, or gelato, or a glass of wine.

One evening they join Johanna - who turns out to be part of the university's biology department and not his girlfriend - for dinner and drinks afterwards. When Katniss winds up quite tipsy, Peeta puts her in a cab, wishes her a good night and pays the fare upfront, without her noticing of course.

If asked a couple of weeks ago, Katniss would have vehemently denied that Peeta Mellark could ever be more than an annoying acquaintance.

As it turns out, now she considers him her friend.

"See? I told you!" Madge gloats when they talk over the phone one evening.

"You're going to be obnoxious about this, I can already tell," Katniss deadpans, her cell pressed between her ear and shoulder while she sorts through some of her photos.

"You know me so well, bestie!" the blonde snickers. "I love to be right."

Katniss snorts. "As if I didn't know that."

She misses Madge. It's not the same when they don't see each other regularly. Normally, not a week goes by without them meeting at least once. It makes Katniss cherish Peeta even more, for he often resembles Madge's character. They're both thoughtful and genuine. Friendly. Amiable. Loyal to the bone.

She and Peeta fall into an easy pattern; their friendship feels so natural Katniss can't fathom how she ever thought of him as an asshole.

And then summer turns into autumn. It's harvest season.

And suddenly, everything changes.

xXx

It's October and Abernathy Vineyards is preparing for the vintage. Grape harvest is something special at the estate, as well as the surrounding area. Uncle Haymitch told her once that people were skeptical when they first started as vintners, because they didn't trust an americano to follow their traditions. The other winemakers’ respect was hard earned, but in the end, Haymitch succeeded.

The area the vineyard lies in - the zona del Chianti Classico - is the oldest and most prestigious one. Only here is it allowed to produce the Classico, following strict rules and stipulations. Downgrading to a simple Chianti is not allowed. Winemaking is an art here.

Harvest at Abernathy's takes between two and three weeks, during which time the estate hums with life. Harvesting still happens by hand here. It's Effie's favorite time of the year, playing hostess to so many people, while Haymitch looks forward to when the harvest is done and everything returns to normal.

The highlight of harvest season is the wine fest when they're finished. Tons of food is served, lots of wine gets drunk, and live music invites everyone to dance. It's always fun, followed by a huge hangover the next day.

Katniss is leaving the room she claimed as an office for the time being when Effie intercepts her and asks if she wants to invite anyone to the feast.

She pauses when her first thought is to invite Peeta, but shrugs it away as coincidence because she just read an email from him a couple minutes ago. Katniss tells her aunt that she'll ask Peeta if he wants to come, and Effie smiles brightly. "That's wonderful, dear. He's such a nice young man."

When she and Peeta meet for lunch the next day she tells him about it, and he gladly accepts.

xXx

The band switches to softer music.

Katniss feels the world spin slightly and giggles. As it is with her and alcohol, she normally becomes a happy mess, with her inhibitions lowered and her scowl as good as gone. Madge told her a couple years ago she sometimes acts like a completely different person when inebriated, looks younger and free, isn't as serious as normal.

She's not so drunk that she can't tell that now is such an occasion.

Most people have already gone to bed. A few small groups still linger around the bar, but the raucous laughter has changed to muffled conversation.

She and Peeta share one of the loveseats under the gazebo, both of them pressed into opposite corners. From the huge smile on his face Katniss can tell he's slightly drunk as well.

Conversation is easy and never stops, the topics jumping from politics to gossip to art and so on.

"You should wear your hair down more often," he tells her at one point, after taking another sip from his wine. He stretches his arm out on the backrest, so his fingers reach her locks, and starts to play with one of the strands. "It really suits you."

Katniss doesn't even blush, only grins back at him. "That's really nice of you, Peeta. Unfortunately it's very impractical when working." She pauses, but her brain doesn't work as fast in her tipsy state as it normally would, and before she can stop herself she confesses, "You, on the other hand, always look handsome."

If possible, his grin broadens. "Is that so?"

And again her mouth is faster than her brain when she replies, "Come on! You totally know that you're drop dead gorgeous, and to top it off, devilishly charming." She laughs softly, taking another sip.

When her amusement flattens, she realizes that conversation has stalled for the first time since they sat down here. When she offers him a confused look, she's nearly taken aback by the sheer intensity in his eyes. She notices that they have somehow moved closer to each other, her knee pressing into his thigh. His hand brushes her hair out of her face now. Tucks it behind her ear. Repeats the action.

"I think you're beautiful," he says. It's nearly a whisper.

Even half drunk she feels her cheeks redden. Her pulse starts to race, and she's not sure if it's from excitement or fear. Because the look in his eyes scares the shit out of her.

Peeta Mellark is the nicest, most generous and beautiful man she’s met in her life. And there's no possible way that he can seriously be interested in her. Not after their disastrous start. He must have seen her inability to trust, or the way she's prone to overreacting. He deserves so much more than to get involved with a broken and insensitive coward.

Her half befuddled brain registers then that he's leaning towards her. Panic rises within her, and every single cell tells her to 'Run away, now!'. The small voice in the back of her mind whispering that this could be something wonderful gets ignored.

With half a cry, half desperate laugh, Katniss jumps up from her seat. Her fingers fumble with the wineglass she's still holding. She avoids looking at him, her eyes fixed on the spot in front of her feet.

"Good … um … good night, Peeta," she tumbles over the words. "Thanks for coming tonight."

And then she flees, nearly running all the way up to her room, the unbraided hair flying behind her, her breath heavy and short. Reminding herself that this is for the best, that she saved herself from more heartbreak. That Peeta is way better off like this, their friendship so much more important than any half-drunken mishap both would regret the next morning.

She will give it a couple days and they'll be back to normal, she's sure of it.

Not once does Katniss turn back, or she would've seen the devastation she’s left in her wake.

xXx

A couple days later, nothing is back to normal.

Panic ebbs and flows, and about a week after the "near-incident", Katniss can't handle it any longer. She hugs Haymitch and Effie goodbye and boards a plane back to the States.

"My editor called, we need to meet," she explained while packing her suitcase. "I'm done with the pre-arrangement of the photos; now the real work starts."

Work comes in handy, explains away her rushed departure, and lets her concentrate on something other than the fact that she ignored every single call from Peeta since that fateful evening.

She knows it’s a shitty move, but can't help but think that it's also the only possible one. Best to cut off the starting attraction before anyone gets seriously hurt.

As the plane takes off, Katniss stares out the small window, takes in the scenery once more, and allows a single tear to roll down her cheek, not bothering to brush it away.

This is goodbye, and it's for the best.

xXx

When November turns into December, Katniss has nearly forgotten all about Peeta Mellark.

Or at least that’s what she tells herself.

In reality, not a day has gone by without her thinking of him at least once. It's the small things that get to her: a glass of wine, a piece of art, a dimpled smile.

Katniss delves into her work, rises early and stays up late. Exhaustion is her constant companion, but at least it occupies her brain most of the time. Only on nights when sleep won't come do her thoughts drift to a gazebo in a familiar garden.

The gallery she and her agent decided on lies near Chelsea Waterside Park. It's a beautiful place, and Katniss can't wait to exhibit her pictures there. Unfortunately, the book presentation together with the showing, and everything around it, requires significant preparation.

She hurries down the street for an appointment with her agent and the gallery-owner. Thanks to New York's public transportation system and its vulnerability to break down at the most inconvenient times, she's already five minutes late.

She’s just ended a call with her agent to apologize and explain, when she stops short. Because in front of her - not ten yards away - Peeta Mellark buys a newspaper from a street vendor. He smiles at the lady behind the counter, and Katniss feels her knees get weak. Eight million people in this goddamn city and he’s here at this very moment. What are the odds?

He turns around, and before she can react, his eyes settle on her. Katniss sees his surprise. She expects he'll turn around and walk away, without even acknowledging her. Astonished she sees Peeta taking a deep breath and stepping over to where she stands.

"Hello, Katniss," he greets her, and he sounds … normal.

She's relieved; it seems he doesn't hold a grudge against her. Nevertheless she doesn't trust her voice, so she smiles back at him in greeting.

"How are you?" he inquires. Peeta's voice is calm and collected, his posture relaxed, his whole demeanor friendly but also somehow distant.

"I'm … I'm good. Busy. Thank you. And you?" It takes everything for her to sound casual. The urge to throw her arms around him and apologize for her cruel dismissal back in October is nearly overwhelming. Her heartbeat is twice as fast as normal, and despite the chill in the air, her cheeks are glowing and her hands are sweating. Breathing gets harder by the minute.

What is happening?

"Good, I'm good," he answers, still polite, still collected. She hates that all the warmth he once directed at her seems to have frozen in the cold December air. "Back to Columbia, now that my visiting professorship is over. You're still working on your collection?"

Katniss nods and tells him about the gallery around the corner, about the presentation of the book in about two weeks, that preparations are in full swing.

He nods politely, asks questions at the appropriate times.

Before she's ready, he smiles once more, wishes her all the best for her presentation, and then turns around and is gone, swallowed by the people hurrying down the streets.

She wants to call after him, but her knees get weak again, and she has to hold on to the wall beside her. Her breath comes short, her vision is splotchy. Drops of sweat run down the back of her neck; her skin feels clammy.

It takes a couple of minutes for her heartbeat to return to normal, and her breathing to regulate.

Awesome, she thinks. You're working yourself into a panic attack.

When at last her vision turns sharp again, and the weakness in her knees dissipates, Katniss decides from now on she'll slow down a little. After the meeting at the gallery she'll take the rest of the day off. Maybe visit the Hawthornes.

It won't help anyone if she works herself to death. The panic attack right now showed that. Meeting Peeta Mellark was simply the icing on the cake, and gave her already frail nerves reason to go into overdrive.

With a last deep breath she continues her way to the gallery, successfully blocking every thought of Peeta Mellark from her mind.

xXx

"I'm worried about you."

Madge turns around from preparing PB&J sandwiches for the girls and gives her best friend a concerned look. Katniss sits at the Hawthornes' kitchen table, sipping from a mug of hot chocolate. She made her promise true, and drove upstate to visit her best friends after the meeting at the gallery.

"Why?" she replies, curious what Madge means.

"It feels like you're working 24/7, Katniss. Today's the first time in three weeks you had time to come by. And it's not only me, Gale is worried, too. The girls ask about you all the time," the blonde pauses, and Katniss can see she struggles with whether to continue. In the end Madge swallows down her doubts. "Ever since you came back from Italy something has changed. Did something happen there?"

Katniss sighs. Her first instinct is to deny everything, but who's she kidding? She's talking to her best friend. If she can't let Madge know, she can't talk to anyone else.

"You're right," she admits. "I'm worried about myself, too. My schedule needs adjustment; I need to cut back on work a little."

Madge is visibly surprised. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

It takes a few moments, but finally Katniss surrenders and decides to tell her. "Before my meeting at the gallery earlier, I had a full blown panic attack."

"Katniss!" the blonde gasps. Jam is dripping from the spoon onto the countertop, the PBJ's totally forgotten. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine now, don't worry. It's just everything with the presentation. I promise, I will take better care of myself. And when opening night is done, I'll take a couple days off." Katniss smiles and takes another sip from her mug, secretly hoping the other woman won’t notice that she never answered her first question. There's no reason why she should explain what happened immediately before her panic attack, all the more because it was just mere chance that she had run into Peeta.

But once again, she underestimates Madge. The look Katniss receives is intense, blue eyes boring into silver ones, tearing every carefully crafted layer of nonchalance to shreds. Madge Hawthorne is a bloodhound. "Answer my question: What happened? And don't you dare give me the 'Nothing'-excuse."

"New York public transportation is what happened." She tries nevertheless.

"Bullshit!"

Surprise and shock is written all over Katniss’ face. Madge isn't one for swearing. To the contrary, she often reprimands Gale to watch his tongue in the presence of the girls. So when a curse word falls from her lips, Katniss knows she means serious business.

Actually, now that she thinks about it, why shouldn't she tell Madge? It's not like the chance encounter with Peeta has any serious implication on her.

"So, okay," Katniss therefore relents. "I ran into Peeta on my way to the gallery. We talked a little, and then went our separate ways."

For Miss Everdeen, the chapter is closed with this, and she hopes that her friend returns to other topics as well. Even if she's quite sure that hope is in vain.

And she's right.

"When exactly did you have that panic attack?"

Katniss is confused. "What do you mean by 'exactly'? I told you -"

"No!" Madge interrupts. "What happened at the moment you realized you were having a panic attack?"

The scowl on the brunette's face makes her forehead wrinkle, but for the sake of getting done with the topic answers truthfully, "I hurried down the street and unexpectedly ran into Peeta. I started to feel unwell, we talked for a moment, parted, and then I had the attack."

For a couple of seconds everything goes quiet. Madge stares at her, and Katniss can't for the love of it tell why she looks so incredulous.

"Honey …" she finally addresses her, disbelief and sympathy in her voice. "You didn't have a panic attack."

Katniss snorts. "Of course I did. You think I don't know what a panic attack-"

But Madge cuts her off again, and the young woman freezes at her next words.

"You're in love, Katniss!"

It takes her a moment to respond, but then it's her turn to swear. "Bullshit!"

Madge crosses her arms in front of her, one eyebrow skeptically raised, before she starts to count down the facts. "Racing heartbeat, sweating in December, blotchy vision, dizzy feeling, problems with breathing. You tell me you had none of these symptoms and I'll leave you alone."

Katniss bites her tongue and glares at the blonde in front of her, but can't protest. It's hard to admit to any of it, but she would never lie to her best friend.

And clearly she was … or is … or whatever … fond of Peeta. They formed a close friendship while in Italy.

But love?

That's impossible. She’s come to terms with the fact that love, marriage and kids aren't in her future. And she's okay with that.

Katniss is so deep in thought she only notices Madge’s close proximity when she feels the woman sitting down beside her and squeezing one of her hands. A deep sigh escapes her friend.

"You're so dead-set on believing that love isn't in your cards that you’re too blind to see what's right in front of you."

xXx

Shortly after the revelation, Katniss says goodbye, this time dizzy for a totally different reason.

Madge understands, hugs her tight and makes her promise to call if she needs anything. Katniss is thankful but needs some time alone to sort everything out. Especially the question: Is she really in love with Peeta Mellark?

She has no recollection of how she makes it back to her apartment, or to her bedroom, or if she sleeps at all during the night. You're in love, is constantly racing through her thoughts. She tosses and turns the whole night, and when dawn is breaking and the first grey light creeps through the curtains, she's none the wiser.

Around eight she gives in and calls her agent to cancel all appointments for the day. There's no way she can concentrate on anything work-related anyway.

After a quick shower and a half eaten bowl of cereal Katniss finds herself at her desk in her living room, wearing her most comfortable yoga pants and sweater, trying to take a break from her confusing thoughts. Listening to the radio as a distraction turns out to be the worst idea yet, as Mariah constantly blares "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on every fucking station. She aimlessly clicks through pictures on her Mac, the ones she took in Tuscany, but doesn't even register what she’s looking at as she jumps from one to the next. It's all a swirl of colors and forms, making no sense.

And then she stops short.

The random clicking stops at one of the photographs she'll show at the gallery. It's her favorite. She worked hours on perfecting the light and color scheme, depth and contrast, sharpness and brilliance.

Only now she discovers why it is her favorite: it's the one single picture she has of Peeta.

It's not even a clear shot, at least not of him. He's off to the right, half of his body not in the picture. The focus is on a little girl in a red dress, her dark locks in two braids, shyly eyeing him while he crouches in front of her and holds out the stuffed animal she accidently dropped. Part of his face is visible, a soft, dimpled smile playing around his lips.

Katniss remembers that day in Montalcino, where they spent an afternoon strolling through town and talking about everything and nothing. They were on their way to a restaurant for an early dinner when they came upon the girl and her mother, who had not realizing that the beloved toy was missing. Peeta had called after them, and when the woman and her daughter turned around, Katniss grabbed her camera by instinct. She also remembers her fascination with the girls typical italian complexion, but her atypical stunning light blue eyes. After she returned home that night Katniss giggled happily when she discovered the perfect shot she had taken.

Months later she realizes that it's Peeta who makes the shot perfect.

She's an idiot!

No.

Wrong.

She's a gigantic idiot!

With a desperate cry Katniss jumps off the chair and rushes to her front door, grabs her keys and phone and ignores the fact that she's not really wearing clothes to leave the house in.

It doesn't matter.

She has to apologize once again, and desperately hopes that Peeta is generous and doesn't turn her down immediately.

Hopefully this time will be the last time she has to ask for his forgiveness.

xXx

The campus of Columbia University is busy, even though temperatures are low. Katniss is freezing in her outfit, only remembering that she didn't bring a warm enough jacket after the taxi was halfway to the school already. But she doesn't let this stop her as she hurries over the vestibule to the arts-building.

As she runs through the doors it strikes her for the first time that she has no idea how to find Peeta. Or if he has a lecture. Or if he's even here today. Katniss pushes these thoughts to the back of her mind and steps up to the digital information board.

She enters his name and a moment later the screen shows her his contact information as well as the room number of his office. The odds are in her favor, too, for he has office hours at the moment. In the blink of an eye she's on the stairs to the second floor.

Before she steps into the corridor where his office is located, Katniss closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and tries to swallow down the knot forming in her throat. She feels like a fish out of water, well outside of her comfort zone. Words don't come easily to her, but she knows they are needed now.

You can do this, she tells herself, desperate to talk to Peeta as soon as possible. Another deep breath and she turns the corner.

And freezes in her tracks.

The blonde woman who has her arms wrapped around Peeta is beautiful. The golden locks flow down to the middle of her back, her figure is voluptuous, and Katniss has never before felt so inadequate as in this very moment.

Peeta's smile is contagious, Katniss can tell, even though at the moment she feels like she might never smile again.

She swallows down her tears when the two people break their embrace, but still hold onto each others arms, smiling and laughing at each other. Katniss is thankful that there are quite a few people surrounding her, so the couple doesn't notice her standing there.

When the woman reaches up to brush a kiss to his cheek, followed by her thumb rubbing over the spot to get rid of some of the lipstick she just left there, Katniss finally turns around and makes her exit. Thankfully Peeta hadn't seen her, or the whole situation would've been more than awkward.

Pain throbs in her chest, rushing through her in waves. Nothing has ever hurt like this before. Katniss feels her eyes getting glassy, but tries her hardest to not let any tears escape.

When I'm home, she promises herself. When she's home she can open up the water works, wallow in self-pity and curse herself over and over again.

Because Peeta Mellark has moved on, and it's her own damn fault.

xXx

She cries herself to sleep two nights in a row. Her break-up with Oliver hadn't made her feel even close to the way she feels right now. And that's considering that she and Peeta weren't even a couple.

Work distracts her only little, even though she tells herself to concentrate on it. She doesn't take another day off. After all, she's a responsible adult, and needs to act like one, not like an emotional teenager broken-hearted over their first crush. When the presentation is done, and opening night at the gallery is over, she will have enough time to give way to despair.

Karma really is a bitch.

Of course she tells Madge all about it a couple days later, and her friend has the decency not to comment on it. Instead, an hour after their talk on the phone she stands in front of Katniss' apartment with a bottle of wine in one hand, a bag full of cookies in the other, and 'The Notebook' in her bag. Katniss thinks she’s never loved her more.

There's only one thing Madge asks her before they start the movie, "And you're sure you didn't totally misinterpret the situation yet again?"

Katniss deadpans, "They hugged. And kissed. And beamed at each other. I'm not sure what there is to misinterpret." Madge holds out another Oreo and the two friends close the topic for good.

(When Allie and Noah break up the first time in the movie, both women sob like two emotional teenagers broken-hearted over their first crush.)

xXx

It's the night before the presentation, and Katniss walks into her apartment after picking up Haymitch and Effie from the airport and dropping them off at their hotel. Of course her uncle and aunt were determined to be there for her big, big, big day. Effie's words.

She’s just dropped her keys in the bowl beside the door when she gets a phone call from Rue, the assistant provided by her publisher, insisting that she needs to get to the gallery as soon as possible. Something about a light installation or whatever. With a sigh and an eye roll, Katniss grabs her keys again and leaves in the direction of Chelsea.

"I'm here," she calls 20 minutes later from the entrance area into the gallery. "So, where's this light install-"

The words get stuck in her throat when her eyes don't fall on Rue's figure, but on the blond man she’s subconsciously pined after for the last couple of weeks. He stands in the middle of the open floor, hands in the front pockets of his jeans, and his eyes following her every move. Half a smirk plays around his mouth and Katniss can feel warmth radiating off him, even from standing all the way over there. The whole situation already feels so different from their chance encounter from a few days ago.

"Peeta …" she whispers, staring at him, and not sure if she's dreaming and will wake up at any moment. "What are you doing here?"

He takes a step towards a small table and busies himself now with a bottle of wine she hadn't realized was there in the first place.

Now that she takes a better look, she notices a loveseat which wasn't there earlier, as well as a little table with two glasses and the aforementioned bottle of wine. And the label on it looks conspicuously familiar.

"Rue let me in. She's a peach. You should keep her as an assistant."

He sounds relaxed, takes the couple of steps over to her and holds out one of the wine glasses. Katniss takes it by reflex, and Peeta steps back over to the table to grab his own glass. She finally finds her voice again.

"How?" She sounds raspy, but at the same time is happy she can speak at all. Even if it's a single syllable.

Peeta seems to understand what she's inquiring about, and shrugs once. "Oh, Madge gave her a call to tell her who I am."

This gets more surreal by the second, but when her best friend's name is mentioned she listens up.

"Madge? That doesn't explain-" she stops again. Taking a deep breath, she squeezes her eyes closed for a moment to gain her composure and hold back the tears. When she opens them again, she puts the glass of wine down, neither in the mood to drink nor feeling like she can handle alcohol at the moment. Then she looks him straight in the eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"We have to talk," he shrugs, putting his glass down as well. He steps back over to her. Katniss feels a gasp leave her when he gently but firmly holds her by her upper arms, preventing her escape. "You really need to stop making assumptions from now on or one of these days my heart might give out."

"Christ, Peeta!" she hisses, her frustration level reaching a new high. None of this makes sense, her heart nearly burst from aching so much, and she only can hold back her tears for so long before she'll turn into an ugly sobbing mess. "Answer my goddamn ques-"

"That night in Italy I wanted to kiss you."

This shuts her up for good. The frustration vanishes, leaving her speechless. The tears she hardly could hold back disappear completely. All kinds of different feelings rush through her, from surprise to panic, to hope and euphoria. She must stare at him for what feels like hours.

Peeta, on the other hand, beams like a kid at Christmas. Katniss feels his thumbs starting to brush her arms where he still holds on to her. The sparkling in his sapphire eyes was never brighter. Even his smile seems softer, warmer.

"And now that I finally have your undivided attention, I will explain a couple of things. Madge called me this afternoon."

Katniss gasps and starts to protest, but Peeta interrupts her by simply continuing. "My turn. As I said: she called. I was surprised about it, let me tell you. She asked how I was doing, if I was looking forward to Christmas, and what the fuck had happened in Italy. Because you're miserable, she told me. And that you stopped talking about me, when before you nearly wouldn’t shut up. Which flatters me immensely, by the way, but we will come back to that later. So, Madge tells me all of this, and I get confused. Even more than I already was. Because - I have to tell you - you left me high and dry. And I was hurt, Katniss. And kinda angry, because I didn't know what exactly I'd done wrong to make you vanish on me. And I told myself, if we were to ever meet again, to simply ignore you. Move on. That you wanted nothing to do with me, and that I had to accept that. And then suddenly you were standing there, half chilled through, hair a mess, your eyes the loveliest shade of grey. I tried to act friendly, but nonchalant. Tried to communicate to you that I got your message to leave you alone from now on. I-"

"Stop!"

Katniss shrugs off his hands and takes a step back, ignoring the fact that her tears started to flow after all. She can't listen to him utter another word about her being a insensitive human being and hurting him. If he continues, she might burst at the seams.

He's too stunned by the interruption and her tears to react immediately, but when he finally moves, Katniss raises her arms and stops him from getting nearer.

"We can't be friends anymore, Peeta."

Silence settles in, the air thick with emotions, ready to explode in one direction or another. His eyebrows draw together, his fists tightly clenched at his sides. All signs point to storm.

"Pardon?" He nearly hisses, but she can tell he’s still tryings to be calm and collected. The patience of this man …

"I can't. I'm so sorry, really. For everything. I was a fool, and a jackass, and I don't deserve your friendship."

Peeta's expression softens, his whole posture relaxes. "Katniss …"

But she’s having none of it, needs to get the words out before the tears choke her up for good. "Please, let me finish, ok? That night at my uncle's estate? I got scared. Shitless. And I reacted in the worst possible way. And it has haunted me ever since. You're the bigger person, Peeta. You came here to make amends, graciously forgiving me again after the way I treated you, and I can't tell you how much this means to me. But I can't be your friend anymore. It would kill me, Peeta."

Once again his eyes fill with confusion, but only a moment later something like realization flickers up, although she has no idea how he could know about her predicament.

He tries again, his patience slowly waning. "Katniss-"

"There's no way I can handle watching you with your girlfriend!" she blurts out before she can stop herself.

She's surprised when instead of discovering a pitying expression on his face, he takes her head in his hands and crushes his lips to hers. At first she can't comprehend what's happening, but only for a moment, before she falls into the kiss with a moan.

Kissing Peeta is like second nature. There's no shyness there, no reluctance. It's straightforward, all-consuming, nearly possessive. She loves the way he consumes her.

"Seriously, Katniss!" he whispers against her lips, his nose rubbing against hers, when they finally have to come up for some much-needed air. "If you would shut up just for a second I could tell you: There is no girlfriend. Didn't I tell you to stop making assumptions? I was getting there before you interrupted my well-prepared speech yet again."

She holds onto the front of his shirt for dear life, afraid her knees might give out if she lets go. Peeta's still holding on to her head, his fingers buried in her hair. His thumbs brush lightly over her cheeks.

Katniss' body tingles where they touch. Which seems to be everywhere since they're so tightly pressed together. The smile he gives her is nearly blinding, but that little bit of doubt in the back of her mind still needs further reassurance.

"But … the blonde girl-"

"Delly. My cousin," he chuckles, and she feels the vibrations all the way down to the tips of her toes. "She was the one you saw me with."

Wait a second … how does he know she was there?

"How do you …" she starts her question, but then it dawns on her. "Madge."

"Exactly," he confirms. The smirk now adorning his face gets mischievous. "Let's recreate that night from October, what do you say? I got the wine, and a loveseat. I couldn't figure out the garden, though."

Now Katniss beams back at him, no longer able to contain her utter joy. "Doesn't matter. Wine and loveseat are enough."

"Katniss, you’re beautiful." His fingers secure some strands of hair behind her ear.

Her arms sneak around his waist. "And you’re devilishly charming."

He chuckles again, leaning in, and stops shortly before her lips. "May I kiss you now, again?"

Katniss can't stop laughing out loud, at the same time tightening her grip on him.

"I’ll allow it.”

And before she loses herself completely to the feeling of their kiss, Katniss makes a mental note to send Madge the biggest bouquet in the history of flowers.

xXx

Two Years Later

Exhaustion nearly overwhelms her. With a sigh she leans against the closed door and takes a deep breath.

Vogue pays good money, but after years of frequently working for them she also knows why: some supermodels can be a serious pain. Good thing that by now Katniss is a well enough known photographer that she doesn't have to take all of their shit anymore.

Still, the shoot takes longer than she anticipated. At least the pictures she gets are really good. But she's looking forward to having some time off now.

A loud hiss makes her open her eyes. Buttercup, her sister's ugly orange cat, stares at her, and because she’s had an exhausting day Katniss simply stares back. She could swear the cat raises a bored eyebrow before it turns around and strolls back in the direction of the living room.

Katniss glares at the retreating form. "I hate you, you ugly beast."

"Well, thank you, babe. I love you, too."

Peeta steps out of the office down the hall and walks over to her.

Katniss ignores his teasing and gives him a short peck. "If Prim ever asks us to look after this devil-cat again, she can go sit on a tack."

"You're overreacting," he smirks before they step together into the living room.

"Am not," Katniss grumbles, but lets herself get distracted by the delicious smell coming from the table. Buttercup isn't worth all of this attention. "It smells like pizza from Sae's. With pepperoni and mushrooms."

She turns to him with a soft smile. Only now does she realize that she's starving. Her last meal had been breakfast, with only an apple somewhen in between. "You're way too good to me."

"It arrived only a minute ago. Want a beer?"

Katniss nods and sinks down on the couch. A moment later Peeta returns from the kitchen, holds out a cold bottle to her and takes a sip from his own as he sits down beside her. He opens the box on the table and grabs a piece.

After she swallowed nearly half the bottle, she takes another deep breath and feels all the stress leave her shoulders. "I'm glad we're going to have some time off now. It feels like we haven't really seen each other the last couple of weeks."

Katniss shifts and cuddles into his side, taking a bite when he offers his slice. Peeta wraps his arm around her shoulders and presses a kiss to her temple. "I picked up the tickets today, so we're set. I'll drive over to Finnick's around noon tomorrow."

She frowns. "But he won't get you stupid drunk tomorrow, right? If you're hung over the next day I swear to god your best friend will father no more children."

Katniss loves Finnick to bits and pieces, but his ability to get Peeta and himself in trouble at the most inconvenient times is extraordinary. She and Annie - Finnick's wife - could sing a song about it.

Peeta laughs out loud and promises that they'll behave. He grabs another slice and offers it to her. She takes it from him and starts to eat. For a couple minutes they quietly enjoy their pizza.

"Madge and Prim probably will be here before the break of dawn on Friday. Your parents arrive around lunch. We'll meet the rest directly at the city clerk's office about half an hour before we have our appointment."

"Good," Katniss nods and munches on another slice. "When's the flight again?"

"Noon the following day," Peeta replies and swallows a bite of his own. They fall into another comfortable silence.

When their bottles are empty and the whole pizza is eaten, they clean their fingers with a wet wipe and she cuddles back into Peeta's side. Her head rests on his shoulder and she closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of him running his fingers through her hair. This is the best part after a busy day: relaxing with Peeta.

With a drawn-out sigh Katniss finally turns her gaze and looks up at him.

"Organizing this wedding was way simpler than Prim and Rory's, let me tell you," she snickers, and nuzzles his neck. Takes in the scent of him and once again thanks heaven and the stars for Peeta's patient soul. Especially when it comes to her and her temper.

"Thankfully we're both not keen on rehearsal dinners with a hundred people around. Although, the location would've been nice," Peeta muses playfully.

"You mean a garden?" she inquires, being fully aware that's not what he meant at all. He's talking about Italy, about her uncle and aunt's estate. About the vineyards, and the olive groves, and the fields upon fields of lavender, poppy and mirasols. He’s talking about where they'll be in about three days time. She knows all of that, but likes to pretend otherwise. Only to make him say something cheesy and corny, which he knows will make her roll her eyes, but which they both secretly enjoy.

Peeta leans down and kisses her. Deep, and thorough, and with so much love Katniss wants to burst with happiness. She's the luckiest woman on earth.

When they eventually part, Katniss smiles softly at Peeta, looking forward to spending all of her future with him. Starting a family. Growing old together.

He beams at her and doesn't disappoint. "Not simply a garden, no. But where everything started, of course: Tuscany, my love."

FINE

#LitLifeLovers stories #everlark #katniss everdeen #Peeta Mellark #love in Panem #may challenge #new author's month #fanfiction #tuscany my love

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howellrichard · 5 years

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How Much Water to Drink a Day + My Top 10 Hydration Tips

Hiya Gorgeous!

I hope you’ve been enjoying my 5 pillars of wellness blog series as much as I have! If that doesn’t sound familiar to you, here’s a quick recap: My pillars of wellness are about optimizing what you’re eating, drinking and thinking, and how you’re resting and renewing.

Why those pillars? Over my years of personal experience and research, learning from doctors and dietitians, and working with folks like you, I’ve found these self-care practices to have the biggest impact on overall well-being.

And because the pillars of wellness are fundamental not only to your health, but also to everything we talk about here on KrisCarr.com, I’ve been exploring each one on a deeper level. And today we’re diving into one of the most essential, yet often overlooked and underestimated pillars: What you’re drinking.

When it comes to the pillars of wellness, that pretty much boils down to one thing (something that actually DOES boil)… water!

I’m passionate about hydration… but you probably already knew that if you’ve followed me for a while because I talk about it a lot! So you can imagine my surprise when I realized that this would be my first blog post 100 percent dedicated to it. That just goes to show how much of an unsung hero H2O truly is. So let’s give it the attention it deserves, shall we?

Why is proper hydration important?

Water is considered an essential nutrient for a reason. It makes up 60 percent of our bodies and is crucial for so many internal systems. Water aids in your body’s digestion and detoxification processes, keeps your skin healthy, helps maintain energy and boosts physical performance. It protects your joints, tissues and spinal cord by lubricating and cushioning them. Without enough water our cells actually shrink… and I can’t blame them!

Bottom line: Getting enough water is a matter of survival. How many of your daily “essentials” can you say that about?

How much water to drink a day

Ok, so we can all agree that getting enough water is super important. But what does enough really mean? Here’s a simple formula to help you figure out how much water to drink a day:

Your weight in pounds: ______ divided by 2 = ______ oz of water per day

Or, if you use the metric system:

Your weight in kilograms: ______ divided by 30 = ______ liters of water per day

So for example, a person who weighs 150 lb should consume about 75 oz of water per day (150 divided by 2 = 75). A 77-kg person should consume just over 2 ½ liters of water per day (77 divided by 30 = ~2.5).

Got it, tootsie? Write down the formula and your personal daily amount if it’ll help you remember. I know it might sound like a lot if you’re not a big water drinker, but don’t worry because I’ve got some easy tips for staying hydrated coming up in just a bit. Once you feel the many benefits of bathing your cells in plenty of H2O, I have a feeling you’ll never look back!

Special hydration considerations

Keep in mind that certain folks may have increased hydration needs. For example, if you do vigorous exercise, spend a lot of time in the sun or sweat a lot, make sure to keep extra close tabs on your H2O intake. Cancer patients, especially those in treatment, may need extra water to prevent dehydration from cancer therapy side effects like diarrhea and vomiting.

It’s also possible for people with certain health conditions (such as thyroid disease or kidney, liver or heart problems) and those taking certain medications to get too much water. Please work with your healthcare practitioner if you have any health challenges or are uncertain about your specific hydration needs.

How to tell if you’re dehydrated

Now that you know how much water to drink a day, let’s talk about how to tell if you’re not getting enough. Dehydration is serious business. Even a low-level H2O deficiency can affect how you feel. Here are some tell-tale signs of dehydration:

Digestive troubles such as constipation

Lack of energy

Peeing less frequently or decreased urine output when you go

Deep yellow or amber-colored urine (check out this handy guide to urine colors!)

Headaches

Low blood pressure

Dizziness

Dry skin and/or eyes

Mental fog, anxiety and other mood changes (source)

Dehydration can be mistaken for hunger—if you feel hungry soon after a meal or when you’ve had enough to eat, try drinking some water

And surprise… thirst!

If you have any signs of dehydration, especially the more serious symptoms, please consult with your doctor! I’m just here to empower you with info—this post is not a replacement for working with a knowledgeable healthcare practitioner. These symptoms could be indicative of other health issues, so they need to be evaluated within the context of your holistic well-being and background.

The skin elasticity test

I shared this in my Wellness Wednesday episode on hydration because it’s one of my favorite tricks! A simple way to measure your hydration level is by testing your skin elasticity. Lightly pinch the skin on your arm for a few seconds and then let it go. If your skin forms a tent and doesn’t return to normal immediately, it could be a sign of dehydration. Just keep in mind that skin loses elasticity as we age, so if you’re over 65, this test may be less accurate.

How to stay hydrated

Wondering how you’ll possibly meet your daily hydration needs? I have no doubt you’re up to the task, but here are some tips and tricks to help you get there:

Get a pitcher big enough to hold your entire recommended daily intake. Fill it up at the beginning of the day and pour a fresh glass whenever you find yourself on empty. You’re done when you hit the bottom of the pitcher! Pro tip: I keep my pitcher at my desk so I don’t forget.

Set hydration reminders. Use calendar notifications, an app (like WaterMinder) or old school sticky notes. Whatever works for you!

Track your progress. Stay motivated by gamifying your hydration. Make note of how many ounces or liters you drink throughout the day so you can pace yourself. My free Wellness Tracker is perfect for this!

Enjoy green drinks. Your daily ounces or liters don’t have to be 100 percent plain water. Fruits and veggies are made of water just like we are, so blend or juice ‘em up into a tasty, hydrating treat. I named my Hello Hydration juice after two of its ultra-hydrating ingredients: watermelon (about 92 percent water) and cucumber (about 96 percent water).

Bring water with you wherever you go. On walks and car rides, to work and the movies… wherever you are, your water should be, too! Avoid those disposable plastic bottles—they’re bad for the environment. Get yourself a reusable stainless steel, glass or silicone water bottle instead.

Add some flavor! Who ever said water had to be boring? If you have trouble getting excited about water, infuse it with fruits, veggies and herbs. Experiment with different flavor combos and don’t forget to enjoy how pretty it looks! Here’s a delightfully quenching recipe for Orange, Grapefruit, Rosemary Infused Water.

Filter your water to make sure it’s free of icky pollutants. Check out this article to learn more about the importance of water filtration and the best types of filters.

Mix things up with seltzer or sparkling water. Isn’t everything more fun with bubbles? You may have heard rumors that carbonation robs calcium from bones, erodes tooth enamel and irritates the stomach. But some of the research that prompted these concerns involved carbonated colas rather than plain carbonated water. Just steer clear of store-bought varieties with added sugar, artificial sugars and other additives. And if you want to reduce waste, try making your own sparkling water with a machine like this one from Kitchenaid or this one from SodaStream.

Don’t just pound water all day. Guzzling too much in a short time frame could make you feel sick, which could demotivate you from your long-term hydration goals. And while overhydration is rare, it could dilute your body’s healthy sodium and electrolyte levels (source). Check in with your doc if your pee is totally clear—it may be a sign that you’re drinking too much water.

Sip on green or herbal tea, nut milks and fluids from soups and broths. Water is everywhere, so get creative to meet your daily needs!

Next stop: hydration station!

I hope the info and tips in this article help you stay happily hydrated. Paying attention to what you’re drinking is just one piece of the wellness puzzle—but just like your favorite jigsaw, the picture isn’t complete without it. Think of every sip as a thank you to your amazing bod for all the walking, loving, playing, running, thinking, sitting, standing, stretching, laughing, etc. it allows you to do. Cheers!

One more thing before you go… As you may already know, billions of people all over the world do not have access to clean, safe drinking water. I believe that hydration is a human right—no one should have to worry about getting poisoned by their water or not being able to find enough. If you’re interested in learning more about this global crisis and/or getting involved, I encourage you to check out charity: water, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation or another organization that aligns with your values.

Your turn: What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to getting enough water everyday? Or, if you’re an H2O pro, what’s your secret to hydration success?

Peace & heavenly H2O,

The post How Much Water to Drink a Day + My Top 10 Hydration Tips appeared first on KrisCarr.com.

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difficultdivine · 6 years

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The love doctors of Thirst Aid Kit on why it’s important for women to lust out loud

Photo: Sylvie Rosokoff. Graphic: Natalie Peeples.

Bestcasts asks podcasters to discuss the three most memorable episodes of their podcast. For more podcast coverage, see Podmass, The A.V. Club’s weekly roundup of the best ’casts out there.

The podcasters: Journalist Bim Adewunmi and writer Nichole Perkins decided in mid-2017 to launch a podcast series dedicated to female thirst—one where so-called “thirst buckets” could enthusiastically and unabashedly gush about the gorgeous celebrities they desire, from A-listers to up-and-comers. Beyond being heaps of fun to listen to, Thirst Aid Kit has a mission and a philosophy much more fully realized than that of the average podcast: to give women a space to perform their thirst and “lust out loud.” To that end, each episode culminates in host-written “drabbles”—romantic fan fiction about the dreamboat du jour—to which Adewunmi and Perkins bring the whole of their professional creativity. Giggle-inducing and surprisingly moving, Thirst Aid Kit has been an essential addition to the BuzzFeed network of podcasts, and is only setting its sights higher into 2019, for as its wise hosts have taught us, there is never a shortage of baes over which to salivate.

Season 1, Episode 3: John Cho For President

The A.V. Club: Why did you choose this episode?

Nichole Perkins: John Cho, at the time, was flying under the radar a little bit. But every time we saw him, we’d say, “Oh my gosh, he’s so amazing, he’s so hot.” We really wanted to give him some shine. We see you—not just because you’re beautiful, but because we see what you’re doing on and off screen, and we want to amplify that. That’s where we really found our audience, with that episode. We had such a strong reaction: people were like, “Finally, someone is talking about John Cho!” Before that, there was the #StarringJohnCho hashtag, which was another effort to amplify what could be, with John Cho and with Asian American representation in film and TV. We wanted to make sure that he gets that recognition. We see you, we honor you, and, hey, we love you.

Bim Adewunmi: He was our third episode. We joke that we have two patron saints for the show. The first is Keanu Reeves, and his is the episode we recorded as a pilot, because we felt so strongly. But John Cho is a very close second, and we love him. We’re two black women talking about desire in popular culture; we understand that sometimes, even if you’re the most qualified person in the room, you don’t often get the chance to have your own platform. John Cho is a perfect example. We felt a kinship with this idea of, “I’m amazing. Why don’t enough of the people who have the power to [make things happen], why can’t they see it?” John has been around forever, plugging away for so long doing all sorts of stuff. He’s run the gamut from drama to comedy to stoner comedy. He’s incredibly versatile, but often doesn’t even get recognized for that. We want to honor the fact that you have been plugging away, doing valuable work on screen and off.

NP: And the range of love interests he’s had on screen have been diverse. White women, black women, men—here’s somebody that’s just out there doing his work, and he should be recognized for it.

BA: He’s hitting all these audiences, meeting them at the point of their identity, and he’s doing it with ease. He’s very, very good. We can always strive to have more John Cho. That truly should be a goal for Hollywood in 2019: more John Cho forever. Our [episode] is a drop in the bucket to push it that way.

NP: My drabble in that episode is my favorite for all the episodes that we’ve done.

BA: Great drabble.

NP: Thank you. I love it because it really speaks to my romance novel background. I love romances, and our audience responded very well to it—and there’s no sex in it at all. A lot of times people lump what we do in with erotica. There’s not necessarily sex in the drabbles that we write. We’re trying to let people see that fanfic romance is not a bad thing. It’s not something you have to laugh at; it’s not a joke. Just because women have these fantasies about wanting someone to be sweet to them, that’s not a bad thing. It shouldn’t be downplayed. That’s what we’re looking at with the drabbles: combining our love for fanfic and romance, and recognizing that what we do is work, and it should be respected.

Just because women have these fantasies about wanting someone to be sweet to them, that’s not a bad thing.

BA: I think of the drabble as creating a mood, and Nichole’s drabble that week was very specifically creating this feeling of swooning, because that’s how John Cho makes us feel. He’s such an underrated romantic performer, so this was a real, writ large, capital-R romance. I bear no ill will toward her for winning [the audience’s “best drabble” vote] that week. It’s yours! It’s a good drabble!

AVC: Do you have a set process for writing drabbles?

BA: For me, it’s the first feeling. When I think about Andrew Lincoln, what do I think? Oh, that’s right—he’s wearing a really nice, soft shirt and he’s washing dishes. That’s my first feeling, so I tend to write what I feel. Sometimes the actor’s performances over the years will nudge you, and you say, “Ooh, I want to explore this thing that I saw in this movie that he did,” and that will tell its own story. But I never sit down and go, “I did a domestic [fantasy] last week, so this has to be outdoors.” It sounds very wanky, but it’s basically: How do I feel about this person? Okay, now write out that feeling.

NP: That’s the same for me. Like, Tom Hiddleston. I want to hurt him in a consensual way. [Laughs.] Whatever feeling comes over me, from the first time I saw this person to interviews that he’s done where you can see his personality a little bit, so you can see what he’d be into—all of that works together. Again, it’s our research into these people, whether we know it’s research at the time. “Oh wow, here’s somebody. Let me Google everything about him.”

BA: “Why do I like him in this clip? What’s he doing here that I like?” A lot of the time, there’s a bit of an awakening as you’re writing. The starting point for all of our drabbles, and all of our episodes, is, “Do we both fancy them?” It’s never a case of one person fancies them, and the other doesn’t. It has to be mutual. That’s our basic, entry-level requirement. Do we both fancy this person? Great. But in general, when we’re writing the drabbles, most fanfic is projection anyway. So we are projecting a good amount of personality onto these people.

Plus, as much as we “know” these people, we don’t know them. When we first started thinking about how we were going to structure the show, we knew we wanted to include fanfic. But for me personally, I hate when people ’ship real people. It always feels a little bit like, “Eh, that’s dodgy territory.” So, how do we make it clear that we’re not writing about the people, per se, but we’re writing about our projections of what they might be like? That gives us quite a bit of room to imagine.

Nichole in particular has very inventive locations. A lot of the time, mine are just about being at home watching TV with whoever. And Nichole’s like, “Now we’re on a picnic!” It’s also about making sure that we’re being respectful to the person, especially if they have a partner. We did [an episode about Mahershala Ali], someone who doesn’t do explicit love scenes, doesn’t get naked. So in writing a drabble for that, in the back of your mind, you’re like, “Well, he doesn’t do this on film, so I’m not really going to put us in a situation where I’m straddling him.” So there’s a lot of considerations as you’re writing.

NP: With John Cho, I was like, he’s not getting these romantic roles, and he’s so smooth. He’s so witty and charming in his interviews. He would be an incredible person to just talk to, and smooth away whatever issues or insecurities you may be having. So I wanted him to do something sweet. And in the Chris Evans episode, we had done an interview with him, and we felt uncomfortable writing drabbles where we were in super intimate situations.

BA: Sexually intimate.

NP: We just tried to move outside of that, and give him something that, if he were to listen to the episode, he wouldn’t be like, “Oh, these girls are creeps.”

Season 1, Episode 12: Chris Evans (feat. Chris Evans)

AVC: On this episode, you’re sort of through the looking glass. Chris Evans is actually present in the episode. Was that terrifying or exciting?

NP: Yes, to all of that. [Laughs.] We always knew we wanted to have our season finale be Chris Evans, whether we got him in an interview or not. That was partly because, for me, there was an evolution of thirst, so to speak. When he first came on the scene, I was like, “Oh, okay, he’s a handsome guy.” But he was handsome in this very familiar way that, quite frankly, I was bored with. He was very American Pie. This blond, blue-eyed guy playing jocks all the time. I’ve seen that so much. But once he started to open up and talk about his own battles with depression and anxiety, I felt connected to him because of my own struggles with those issues. So I was like, “Oh, he’s actually a human being.” Which sounds terrible, but for so long you only see what you’re allowed to see. For him to break down a little bit and show us more of himself, I felt drawn to him. As his career went on and you could see the evolution of his career, his acting ability, and the projects he chose, I thought, this actually is someone I could see myself enjoying as a thirst object.

BA: I’ve always fancied Chris Evans. I’m very basic. I was like, “Oh, he’s handsome! That’ll do.” So I already had such a tenderness toward him. I wrote a profile on him a couple of years back and he followed me on Twitter as a consequence, which I took to mean I must have nailed it. It was done with no access to him; I wrote this very much from my understanding of his personality and his performances over the years. My feeling was, if I had got it grossly wrong, he would’ve said, “I don’t know what that piece was about, but it wasn’t me.” But instead, he followed me, and I thought, “Oh, maybe he’s a normal person who follows people on Twitter.” So we knew that we wanted that to be the final episode. For me, this is one of my top thirsts of my life. He’s a crush I’ve had from a distance for such a long time that it made sense to me, and for Nichole, it was a journey to fancying him. So that seemed like a perfect way to end the season.

We went about trying to get him on the show, and we were shocked when he said yes. Not only is it Chris Evans, but also it was the middle of filming for the Avengers movie, so he was busy. We’d resigned ourselves, but we said, we’ll just put the request out there. If it’s a no, then no worries. The key thing is that we asked. And then instead he was like, “Yep, I’ll do it!” So that was a real treat. And he was in fact the most professional—he called us, obviously. I don’t think he gives his number to everyone, which is a shame, because I would’ve blown up his phone.

NP: Me too!

BA: He was incredibly accommodating, asked us how much time we needed, and he gave us the time that we requested. And he was open. Part of me had assumed he was going to be a little bit closed off, kind of general and gentle. But instead, he was incredibly open, almost tender. I was like, bro, don’t tell us this much! But he spoke about vulnerability, being scared about his Broadway debut, his insecurities as a teen, who his role models were for masculinity—the whole thing just came together and felt very serendipitous. He was just the best guest to have.

And we loved the surprise of it. The listeners of the show like us talking about stuff almost as an abstract endeavor—we’re talking about this person that we all “know,” but don’t really know. And in this case, we were like, “Here’s our thoughts and our feelings, but also, let’s hear from the thirst object himself!” Which felt like a real reversal. The key of this podcast is not to talk to the people we fancy. It’s to talk about why we fancy them and how we fancy them, and bring people into this fellowship. What is fancying? What is thirst? How do we perform it? So to have him in the room, so to speak, changed the way the show was built, just for one episode. We do so much projecting—let’s see what one of the projected-upon is actually thinking or feeling. And he was great for that.

NP: Women celebrities get asked so much: “What’s your beauty routine? What do you do to work out? How do you stay looking the way that you look?” And men don’t often get that. For us to have [Chris Evans] acknowledge that he knows he looks good—you have to know this; talk about that—was a little different. Male celebrities don’t get asked that a lot. It’s just expected that, okay, you’re handsome, go about your business. Whereas with women, it’s, “How did you get to this point?” Those things are broken down so much for women. To ask a guy these things was very important.

BA: “What do you use on your beard?” And the answer is: Nothing. It’s just beautiful.

NP: And they should get the same kind of questions! Like, “What are you doing to look so good?”

BA: He was very open about it. It’s tough on his body, putting it through all that stuff to be Captain America. He said, “I’m looking forward to not going to the gym so much.” A moment of vulnerability. The listeners’ feedback was so strong and happy about how he spoke to us. A lot of the time, that’s what many of us are looking for: someone to be honest and say, “Yes, I look great, but it takes work.” Just an acknowledgement of the fact that, yes, I’m actually quite beautiful. It’s not an accident that I look this way and I have this job—the two things are very much intertwined, and I have to work at maintaining them so I can stay doing this job.

Also, I just really love the episode. Nichole and I were so happy and giggly. The joy just overflows as you listen to it.

The key of this podcast is not to talk to the people we fancy. It’s to talk about why we fancy them and how we fancy them, and bring people into this fellowship. What is fancying? What is thirst? How do we perform it?

NP: In terms of production, we had already recorded the main [segment], but we didn’t get a chance to talk to Chris until Wednesday, and the episode was coming out that Thursday. We had to rush and make the edits. We know our audience wants to hear every single thing that he had to say. We couldn’t make the episode that long.

BA: But we put the bulk of the interview in there, because he was so insightful. It was less about speaking to the general state of fancying, but just about himself and his own place in that particular hierarchy: that this man, who is literally called Captain America, so often embodies a very specific masculine ideal. What does that mean for the actor, but also for those of us who fancy him?

NP: It was a feat to get that episode out so quickly once we got the interview with him. And to see the reactions as people were refreshing their feeds, reaching for their phones—it was so awesome.

BA: People were like, “What? Chris? The real Chris?!” Yes, the real Chris Evans, thank you. And our title for that episode is “Chris Evans (feat. Chris Evans).”

AVC: It’s so subtle.

BA: That was our former producer, Eleanor Kagan. When we said we wanted to do this episode, she said, “I’ve already got the title!” Very triumphantly, she typed it out.

NP: Our feed goes live at 5 a.m. Thursdays. So I wake up and I’m looking at Twitter to see what’s happening. One person said, “I was brushing my teeth and I saw the episode and I almost spat my toothpaste out on the floor.”

BA: We have the best tweets for that episode.

Season 2, Episode 8: Ryan Coogler: Bay Area Bae

NP: One of the things we like to do with the podcast is to highlight people who most people may not know—you may know the name, but you don’t know what they look like. That’s part of the reason we chose Ryan Coogler. He’s normally behind the camera, so he’s not someone that you get to see all the time. Also, his work ethic, and what he does behind the camera, the people that he hires, it’s so important. Let’s not forget the people who might get overlooked.

BA: We don’t necessarily theme our seasons, but with season two, we definitely had names that were less famous than many of the names in season one. When we did the Oscar Isaac episode, a lot of people said, “Oh, I know that guy from GIFs, but I’ve never seen a film of his.” And we did an episode on the Golden Baes of Hollywood, hearkening back to a period that many of our listeners might not be familiar with, and that kind of thing. As Nichole said, he’s not someone who is often in front. He was also beginning to enjoy a big moment thanks to Black Panther. Still, not many people have seen his films, many of which were serious, independent movies. For us, it was a case of: Who is underrated? Who is genuinely worthy of our fancy?

That’s another thing: Of course we fancy the people physically, but we also have to have something to talk about. You can’t just spend 45 minutes going, “He’s so hot!” Which is nice, and great for us, but not something you could put out a podcast about. It was about finding the meaning of his work and himself, away from his obviously very beautiful physicality. That was a really fun challenge for us. He doesn’t have a massive film catalog, but each of the movies he’s done have been as close to masterpieces as you can get. Also, he’s this guy from Oakland who talks like he’s from Oakland. And a very small, but also very big thing: He’s married to a black woman, so, black love. That felt like something worth celebrating and pointing out. Look at this guy. He’s special.

NP: Also, even though he’s reasonably fit, he is not the Hollywood idea of what an attractive man should look like. He’s not super muscly, he’s not very tall. He has the teddy bear look; he’s so sweet and always so respectful with the people around him. We wanted to highlight that, and show that you don’t have to just like the tall beefcake. There are other physicalities out there that you can enjoy, and it’s okay.

BA: That came up with the Hiddleston episode, for example. He’s a lanky stream of piss, isn’t he? But that’s okay! Nichole has a very wonderful saying, because she enjoys—

NP: I like skinny men. [Laughs.]

BA: Yes. And Grant Gustin, who plays The Flash, she called him “a golden French fry of a man.” It’s an example of people who don’t necessarily fit into Hot Hollywood. And here’s [Coogler] who has this incredible visual mind, makes amazing, stunning films, and is so human when you read his interviews, and actively works with women and champions women’s work, putting all this stuff out there into the world in a climate where so many men are unequivocally trash. To have something to glom onto that is not trash feels like a victory for the ages. “Oh my god, this person appears not to be a complete dickhead. Wonderful.” You need it to survive.

NP: With the drabbles for that episode, we tried to respect the fact that he’s married. We went for sweet instead of sultry.

BA: That’s the persona. You want to match that.

NP: And I’m sure whatever his private life is, that’s [his own], but at the same time, we’re just like, “Wouldn’t it be great to have a baby with Ryan Coogler?”

BA: He’d be invested in your interests—do you see the projection here? “My god, I bet he makes great waffles.” Based on nothing at all. You just have this idea.

To have something to glom onto that is not trash feels like a victory for the ages. “Oh my god, this person appears not to be a complete dickhead. Wonderful.”

AVC: What goals do you have for the podcast going forward?

NP: We’ve been doing Thirsty Movie Nights, where we invite our audience to come watch some movies with us and be loud and rowdy, and lust out loud at the screen. It’s like a big slumber party.

BA: So far we’ve done them all in New York, but I’d love to take it on the road. We want to do these things all over the place. Our inbox is full every single day—people will send their own drabbles, or sometimes people just want to tell us they fancy someone at work. Things that we cannot feature on the show.

AVC: Like you’re the high priestesses of thirst.

NP: We’re the love doctors!

BA: People bring us confessions and stuff, and it’s like, all right, go in peace, my child. Happy thirsting. It’s remarkable. It sounds really cheesy, but it does feel like this sisterhood of thirst. It��s not just women, but it’s mostly women, many of them women of color, many of them black women—and that really warms my heart. My hope would be that they find something in every episode, even if they don’t fancy the thirst object of the week. There’s just a bit of release and relief in listening to something that is so unabashedly joyful.

We’re not Breaking Bad—we haven’t got the brooding antihero at the core of our story. Instead, it’s, “Hey, we fancy people. Let’s talk about that!” I want to stay in the zone of joy, and I don’t want it to ever feel like a chore. My hope would be that we continue to love what we do, because we really love it. And it’s great working with Nichole, who is just so filthy and so funny. Every week she says something that scandalizes me as if I don’t know her. It works, and I think the audience really enjoys hearing us play off one another, because it’s genuine. I want that to go on for as long as possible.

NP: Someone tweeted that, at the heart of the show, it’s about friendship. I think that’s important, because Bim and I genuinely like each other. We were not put together by someone who said, “Bim and Nichole, just partner up on this.” This was from our own interactions, and it’s still going. The thirsting does not stop. If we are awake, we are texting each other something. I’ll wake up to a message from Bim like, “Did you see this?” and I’m like, “No—but did you see this?”

As far as growth, we’re open to whatever can happen from here. A lot of people want us to put our drabbles into some kind of book for purchase.

BA: A whole collection of them. Publishers, if you are interested, Nichole and I will write drabbles. We will do it.

There is value in asking the questions that these men are not asked. It leaves a void of knowledge, and we could help fill that.

NP: At our first movie night, which was Magic Mike XXL, this one woman was crying with her friend. She said, “It’s just so beautiful to be in this environment, in this safe space, and hoot and holler at the screen with this community.” I loved that, it was so moving.

BA: People were throwing their fake dollars at the screen. At that point, I looked around, and I was like, wow, I’m so lucky. What a way to spend a weekday evening—in the company of strangers in the dark, eating food and hollering at Channing Tatum’s neck. This is why I went to journalism school. It felt good.

NP: I like doing the interviews, and I think it’s important that we remain respectful of the people we’re talking to. We don’t ask about their personal lives. We don’t ask if they have a girlfriend. We don’t hit on them.

BA: People ask after each interview, “How did you hold it together?” Yeah, we fancy people—we’re human—but we’re also professionals. We’re journalists, we’re reporters, we’re writers. Just as we don’t yell obscenities at handsome men on the street, we wouldn’t do that to someone who had trusted us and come into the studio to talk about themselves. I hope that the fact that we’re so clear about our intentions, that we’re not here to get gossip, has meant that people are more open to coming on the show. We’re asking intelligent, insightful questions, and we are looking for them to answer in a similar fashion.

For so many of us, we haven’t really broken down the building blocks of desire. It’s never as simple as people think. So my hope would be that we get to talk to more of the thirst objects as they come up, because I do think there is value in asking the questions that these men are not asked. It leaves a void of knowledge, and we could help fill that.

People don’t need our permission to like who they like. Just apply the enthusiasm that we have, and go about your business.

NP: When we first started out, we got a little criticism. “If men were doing this, would it be sexist?” I responded that men would not examine why they find these people attractive. It would just be about a bunch of T&A.

BA: Historically, anyway. We’ve seen how men talk about women a lot of the time in the public sphere, and I don’t think it’s ever been this respectful or careful. It’s not just us salivating wildly. I mean, that happens. But we have discussions.

NP: We also look at what happens when these men mess up, and have to get back on track. We’re looking now at the idea in pop culture of men and redemption, and what that looks like. But we want to be a source of joy for people. We want to acknowledge the missteps, but we also want to recognize when they’ve corrected and are doing the work to prove themselves better people.

BA: The ethos of Thirst Aid Kit, as it stands, is to talk about desire. We’re not here to tell you that one fancy is wrong.

NP: People don’t need our permission to like who they like. Just apply the enthusiasm that we have, and go about your business.

BA: Lust out loud. It’s good for your soul.

AVC: What good life advice.

BA: Just call us Oprah.

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