#the batkids are confused

[zylev-blog]

Something is haunting Bruce. It wouldn’t be so creepy if ghosts existed. After all, aliens, magicians and demons existed, why not ghosts? But no matter how hard Bruce looked in and out of the Batman suit, nothing he could find pointed to ghosts being real. But that didn’t stop the sinking feeling that something was haunting him.

He gets definitive proof that ghosts do in fact, exist when he’s out as Batman one night. The air around him gets cold—which is odd considering it’s summer—and the wind picks up. He turns on the heater in his suit and prepares for whatever is about to try and fight him. He subtly grabs a batarang and hoped that it would hurt it.

The being is tall and muscular with armor the shade of the blackness of space. The armor glitters like the nebulas of a star, and the cape that hangs off his shoulders blows in the wind. The cape looks like a black hole; all the surrounding light gets sucked into the cape, never to return. On the being’s head sat a crown made of solid ice that sparkled in the low-light setting. The being had snow-white hair and neon, Lazarus green eyes. The being was smiling at him, his teeth long and jagged.

He takes a step back as the being gets closer to him. His first instinct is to throw the batarang and punch his way out, but he was feeling almost suffocated by the power that the being gave off.

The being smiled and leaned into his ear. “I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”

#Sam and Tucker are dying laughing #the batkids are confused #Batmans being haunted #haunted #Danny is op #ghost king danny phantom #danny is ghost king #ghost king danny #dpxdc prompts #dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc au #dp x dc writing prompt #dp dc crossover #dp x dc fanfic #dp x dc prompt #danny phantom #danny phantom crossover #dp x dc crossover #dp crossover #dpxdc fics #dcxdp

[azulhood]

Danny was tired, like 'I feel it in my bones and soul' tired. And he didn't want sleep at home because there's only so many nights, he could spend lying awake making sure his heart was beating in case his parents checked on him.

Currently he was flying aimlessly not really taking in his surroundings, but he could neither sleep while flying or fly forever. Normally he'd sleep over at Sam or Tucker's, but the Mansons had made it clear that he wasn't welcome at their house anymore and Tucker was grounded. Both would sneak him in if he asked, but he didn't want them to get in trouble for him. Which leads him to decide between his two choices, sleeping in a graveyard, or sleeping in a forest.

The graveyard was a little crowded with all the ghosts that called it home but he could probably find a quiet spot to sleep. The forest had a great view of the stars but was filled with traps from both his parents and the GIW after tracking his ecto-signature. Both options weren't appealing, but he wasn't about to chance sleeping on the roof of his house again. There were too many ghost detecting guns attached to it now. Danny sighed, graveyard it was, at least the ecto from all the shades/ghosts would hide him well enough. Decision made, now all he had to do was make his way over there. But first, where the heck was he? Danny looked around at the unfamiliar grey sky and gargoyles littered around and realized he had no clue where he was. He must have flown too far away from Amity without noticing...Again. It was really becoming a bad habit. Danny stared down at the city's inhabitants that were going home or heading to nightshifts or whatever and dreaded the long flight back to his town. And maybe it was ghost instinct, or maybe it was just his exhaustion. But his brain suggested 'What if I just possess someone?' And to him that seemed like a perfectly logical train of thought. He wouldn't control their body or anything, just sleep in their skin...That did not make it sound better at all. Before he could think twice, someone left a general store, arms filled with stuff and somehow projecting an aura of safety. The two thoughts of 'They look comfy' and 'screw it' clashed together in his head as he made the very stupid decision of performing a swan drive right into the someone. "WHAT THE-" "Don't worry, I'll be gone by morning I just need to sleep" Danny cut off the persons freakout-he should really get their name at some point- he would have explained more but the sleep gods had already done their job. This left one very confused, scared, and freaked out Batkid.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #I don't know which batkid it should be #I'm thinking Dick or maybe Stephenie #I feel like Steph would be the most chill about a ghost using her body as a sleeping bag #Cass and her just straight up adopt the tired ghost boy who talks in his sleep and says the most distressing things #Bruce didn't even have a chance #Danny is gonna be so confused when he wakes up

[batty-pham]

Trans Danny Fenton?

Amazing. Yes.

Twin Damian and Danny.

Beautiful. Wonderful.

Imagine with me for a second.

Damian is finally reunited with his long lost twin, he is angry to hide how relieved he is that he is no longer the only blood child anymore.

Elle is just really confused why Robin clocked her as a clone, then changed his mind and decided to hug her while crying. This was not what she was expecting was going to happen when she ventured into Gotham.

#batfamily #batkids #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #danny phantom #ellie phantom #damian wayne #damian is just excited to have his twin #ellie doesn't know that this is danny's twin brother because dANNY DIDN'T THINK TO MENTION IT? #they're both confused #for very different reasons

[puppetmaster13u]

You know what would be hilarious.

Trans Batman accidentally convincing Gotham that the batclan are like clownfish.

This is helped along when Red Hood comes onto the scene and is later also revealed to be a batclan member.

#He/They Batman #dc #dcu #cryptid batman #cryptid batfam #dc prompt #batman au #batman #trans batman #bruce wayne #trans jason todd #fuck it make all the guys trans #except for damian #make talia trans too #the kids are having a blast with this #the JL are all confused #they're trying to keep track of things but the batkids are purposely fucking with them #Gotham is CONVINCED all the bats start out female and through some sort of life cycle some switch to male #prompts

[soulless-bex]

talia secretly adopts all of bruce’s kids behind his back. dick? she got to know him shortly after he became nightwing and supported him through his debut. jason? she had more than enough time to adopt a parental role for him while he was still staying in nanda parbat. tim? she’s been corresponding with him since forever. she was so proud when he committed his first war crime too. steph saw her visiting one of the boys, recognized her and befriended her to spite bruce. duke sort of just assumed she was bruce’s wife after seeing the way the other kids act around her and never questioned it. she’s too scary for him to dare do that, and anyway, she’s pretty chill so he won’t complain. cass sees the whole thing unfold, and while i don’t think she’s talia’s biggest fan, i think she would find the whole thing funny anyway.

bruce never noticed. not until all of his kids had already fallen into the habit of calling her mom

#talia seeing bruce adopt kids left and right: our children #bruce is hella confused when he finds out #the kids never questioned it either. just accepted her as being their mom and moved on #some of them assumed bruce knew since talia knew him so well. some go to her precisely because bruce doesn’t know. the rest just crave chaos #parental talia al ghul #batman headcanon #batman #batfamily headcanons #batkids #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #talia al ghul #duke thomas #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #tim drake #she took the “sharing is caring” thing a bit too seriously

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Terry meeting the Batkids (via magic or time shenanigans, who cares): Man, isn't being Batman AWESOME or what!!!

Dick, Jason, Tim & Damian: *all visibly wincing in discomfort*

Cass: *nodding head vigorously*

Duke and Steph: *munching on snacks from the sidelines*

#batfam #batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #tim drake #duke thomas #stephanie brown #damian wayne #terry mcginnis #batman beyond #i will never stop laughing #at the fact #that only two of Bruce's kids #actually wanna be batman #holds gun to dc's head #make cass the new batman or else #yes i am aware that not all the batkids #got to be batman #terry's just confused #dreamer queue

[castrianamore]

Bitter, Had the Heart

DC X Danny Phantom Crossover

Chapter 1: to see or to mistake

TW: Graphic depictions of Corpses, Mutilation, vile smells

Tim Drake was a brilliant Detective. He was a shareholder of Wayne Enterprises. Middle child of the family really. He was working on his degree in business at Gotham U, as expected. He also excelled, as expected. Nothing could have prepared him for this, though. I’m all his years of detective work nothing was quite this gruesome, this brutal. This slow.

A horrified terror filled expression struck across two gang member’s faces. Their deceased bodies had entrails splayed over the alley and he held a rag over his nose and mouth at the smell. It wasn’t just the decay setting into the bones and souls. It smelled like rotten eggs, sulfur. Mixed with the metallic scent of iron and blood and disgust.

Nightwing landed next to him.

“Oo that’s not pretty,”the man whispered. “Damn that stinks.” Time handed over a rag to his elder brother who very gladly put it over his nose.

“You’re telling me. This is one of the more brutal and gruesome cases I’ve seen in a while…” Tim was trying to take in what he could from below. They had to have been tortured alive as they had their entrails removed, at least most of the other rogue’s in Gotham made their subject’s deaths quick, even if painful but these? This was a new breed of brutal and horrific.

Tim was frustrated. He was a fucking detective for gods sake.

“How many is this now?”Nightwing looked at his younger brother before back down at the bodies.

“8… I think we can classify this as a serial case right now,”he huffed. He pulled out a notepad writing things down.

Smell of sulfur.

Entrails spread out.

Claw marks on the walls.

Symbols written into the alleyway walls in the blood of the fallen.

Faces frozen in horror.

This was the 7th and 8th one and of course it was similar to the others. Smell of sulfur. Entrails spread out. Once they got the autopsy report back he high suspected the heart will have been removed and a bite being taken out of the kidney if there even was one.

“So Gotham has another mysterious serial killer whose signature is as gruesome and messy as the Joker’s entire existence.” Tim had been frustrated with this case since it started and he was beyond grateful for the help. A lot of the bats were in on the case at some point. Duke had been trying to do Daytime recon. Tim and Dick were keeping up with police investigation, namely Dick who claimed he was coming from Bludhaven to help with the case. Got them both the inside information.

Bruce and Damian were trying to track down anything and it had been all hands on deck to keep a watchful eye on the city. Cass and Steph were off-planet apparently dealing with something from the covert ops team of Young Justice. Barb was doing her best to play eyes as she kept an eye on the various cctv footage around the city, but Gotham was big and there was always crime to attend too.

Tim was stretched thin himself. He normally had shareholder meetings in the mornings at least once a week, sometimes twice, and after that it was to his college classes. Tim had college, patrols, the company. Fuck. Let alone the occasional charity galas and other events he had to go to not only as a wayne but as a head of the company as a whole.

Tim was running on fumes as this case was running him dry. That was another reason why Dick was in town to lessen the load on Tim. He liked college and he knew that he wan’t exactly the most social person let alone the most normal(look at his job?) but he did want to do things sometimes with his friends. Though, he was sure his ‘friends’ probably wouldn’t be around for super long. Having mundane friends outside of super hero life was hard, let alone a romantic relationship. He had tried with the other heroes. He had tried with civilians but the civilians just couldn’t understand the time necessary and the excuses he was going to have to make.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship but it just simply felt as if he had no choice but to not. Wow, he was tired if hid mind was going off on it’s own separate tangent in mind distracting him from the task at hand. Speaking of…

A small flash of one of the police’s camera’s caught him off guard. Unbeknownst to the group a man in black tech wear with white accents and a mask pulled over his nose was crouched by the body. Hands gloves and a hood up over barely visible black hair. He was taking a sample it seemed of, what was that? How did he not notice that?

There was a green viscous liquid and he just collected it, not just an incredibly small amount, but what was on the body at all. It reminded him far too much of Lazarus water for his liking, but if someone had poured gelatin in it.

“Wing,”Time stated wide-eyed at him.

“I see.”

“We have eyes on a potential suspect,”Tim called over coms.

“Do not engage, follow,”Batman’s words echoed back to him. Duh. They wanted information on the dude. The two backed into the darkness a little more as soon as the police-men turned around he was gone. Tim and Dick watched his foot catch on the ledging as he climbed onto the roof of the building pulling down his hood and looking around. Eyes covered by a pair of goggles that were a stunning and haunting green color. Then it seemed he spotted the bats even from their vantage point, and as soon as they noticed. The man took off running.

“Shit!” Tim exclaimed, moving to jump onto the roof to pursue .

“Red! No engaging!”

“I’ve been following this shit for months, I’ve never been then close to a lead Nighty!” He exclaimed moving to follow.

“Language! But, really?!?” Nightwing followed after time the two moving with ease.

“Stop!!!” He yelled at the black masked figure who merely cocked his head to the side running backwards for a moment before jumping across to the next roof doing a roll. Experienced in parkour at least as Tim and Dick followed suit. Fuck he was fast.

“We need to corner him,”Dick hissed.

“Don’t tell B…”

“Don’t tell B what?”Dick replied before Tim threw two batarangs at his target.

“Red!” Dick exclaimed as the man dropped sliding on his knees to avoid the first one but as he got up the second one hit his leg. Bullseye. The person tripped holding his leg for a moment. A small grunt of pain could be heard as he scooted away from the two of them. The way their face was covered left no idea what thoughts crossed their mind. Nightwing landed next to Red as they stared at the man backing up against the wall to the roof.

“Don’t make us hurt you anymore. Tell us what you were removing from that crime scene,”Red threatened, grabbing his bo staff off his belt and letting it unfurl. The person shook their head as they used the short wall to stand up limping heavily. They weren’t incredibly close to the ground at the moment. At minimum a solid 8 stories high.

Pretty far up Tim would say. Which made the next move shake him. The man looked at them and slowly shook his head and by the time they both realized what they were doing their hearts broke. They gave him a farewell salute with two fingers and fell backwards off the edge of the building and neither himself nor Hightwing could catch him in time. Both running desperately to the edge wide eyed with panic.

It wouldn’t have been the first time someone had committed suicide to escape them. Tim doubted it would be the last either. Fate had it out for them in that way. Fate had it out for them in a lot of ways as Tim would find out over the course of events.

Though they never heard a smack against concrete as they rushed to the side, nor a scream of terror. So when they looked into the alley way the man wasn’t there anymore. Dick and him quickly using grappling hooks to get down.

“What the…”

“Where did he—“

“Infrared?” Dick suggested they both moved to look around them. Just the coldness of the alleyways and setting mid January weather. It was freezing in this alleyway.

“Is that a bed?”Dick pointed out the small campaign at the very back of the alley. A few cardboard boxes set up as a table with a few remains set there. Messy soaked sheets sat on top a cardboard bed with a messy pillow half destroyed it seemed

“Of course it’s a bad.” voice drawing them both out from their mission. “I never thought this would be the way I finally run into Two bats. You’re in front of my sleeping spot.”

They looked up to see a young man(teenager?) he only stood about 5’3. He was bundled up with a hoodie and a black trench coat over it. A soft blue scarf wrapped around his neck, hands shoved into his pockets with piercing blue eyes and ruffled black hair being held down by the matching blue beanie. He looked cold and from the infrared sensors on him the man was abnormally cold compared to most normal humans. A metà Maybe?

He had deep tired circles under his eyes. Skin far too pale to be healthy and a guant looks to his cheeks. His clothing almost just draping off his thin frame. He looked like he was very very sick if Tim could guess.

“Sorry for intruding, then,”Dick spoke up walking in front of him. Giving him a nod that he saw it too. “Did you happen to see a man fall from what roof?”

The man shifted and looked concerned Tim’s eyes looking of his shoulders, eyes, lips. Trying to pick up any subtle mico expressions.

“I just got back from classes, man,”The man sighs rubbing his forehead. “I’m half asleep and running 3 red bulls and a pack of saltine crackers.”

“Can we ask where you’re coming from?”Dick gave a charming gentle smile.

“The library.”

“I see, well we’re looking for a man dressed in all black with goggles with bright green lenses and black hair. He was sporting tech wear. You can give the police a call if you see anything?” Tim pulled out one of Greyson’s cards after he spoke. “We’re working with Detective Greyson at the moment for any leads so you can call the precinct if you see anything.”

The man took the card tossing it over his shoulder.

“ACAB, so can I sleep now? Or are we going to be playing a fun little game of 20 questions with me being the epicenter of the bats hyperfixations.”

“Ah… no, not at all. Have good night,”Dick stated as Tim was trying not to laugh as the man grabbing him grappling them up onto the roof. It was silent as they got a few blocks away before Tim burst out laughing.

“He just…”another laugh,”YEET!” Mimicking the card being thrown over his shoulder.

“That kid is suspicious.” Dick huffed maybe a little salty his normal charms didn’t work on him.

“He’s sassy not suspicious.”

“But his body temperature was—“

“He’s probably a meta Nightwing. Don’t tell the bats that you’re a meta, remember? It’s kind of Batman’s whole reason for keeping the city the way that it is, to protect metas.”

“You’re right.”

“I know. The kid looked exhausted the only thing I picked up from him was that he was beyond annoyed that he had to wait a second longer to go to bed. It’s,”he paused to look at his wrist. “2am.” A pause. If we was a student the mostly likely place he would have been would be the library. Even if you were walking from Gotham U library or a cafe it wouldn’t have taken you two hours to get where they were.” The library and most cafes closed at 11 or midnight.

“What did you realize? You’re smile fell.”

“The university library closes at midnight.”

“Okay and?”

“And this part of town is only a 45 minute walk from the library.”

“Is he our culprit they both have black hair. Could be especially if he’s a Meta explain why he was able to get away from us so fast.”

“I doubt it, that kid looked… sickly to say the least, but he was definitively hiding something.”

“So what was he hiding that he didn’t want the bats to know?

By the time they made it back to the alleyway the mysterious kid was gone.

“Dammit!”Tim exclaimed. This case was frustrating. Everything was going wrong.

“Look we at least know one thing right?” Dick was trying to make light of the situation. “He goes to Gotham U.”

“Dick.. we’re going to find hundreds of people who fall under the broad category. Let’s search “Black hair blue eyes” into the student database and see how many we come up. Let alone the fact that black might not be his natural hair color.”

“Hood could find him…”

“No, Hood has enough on his plate with these murders finding a homeless kid is not part of the problem at hand. The dude didn’t hurt anyone.”

“But if we run into him again,”Dick stared at the quickly disassembled bed the few ratty sheets now gone. “Do you think we could get him to the hospital for some help? Meta or not his readings were… rough.”

“We can’t force people into getting help all the time. It’s one thing for rogue’s who are more than a little insane but a guy who’s sick in the alley way?” Tim shook his head with a sigh rubbing the back of his neck. “We’d be chasing after half of Gotham.”

Tim rubbed his forehead a little frustrated with the general turn of events going on right now. Why couldn’t he get a lead on this fucker. He doubted that googles person would be much help. They looked like an investigator themself but at this point it was a lead and Tim was desperate. Each murder was more gruesome than the last like they were pushing their victims and themselves every time they did it. It had to have been a beast right?

“We need to find the masked person…”

“Yeah no I agree. Whatever they pulled off the body they were looking for that. They knew it would be there.”

“Think he’s the murderer?”

“Probably not, but they seem to know more than us which is concerning in its own right.”

“Not wrong there little bird.” Dick sighed. “We should leave. Head back to the cave.”

“Best, I have too many classes in the morning.”

“You have coffee addiction, you’ll be fine.” Dick smirked as they started back towards the cave moving to write a report of what they encountered on their patrol.

“You trying to feed my coffee addiction?”

“Absolutely not, B might kill me with that one,”Dick snorted.

It wasn’t as if Tim could sleep even as they got back to the manor to crash for night after writing their reports. He remained long after Dick had gone to get some sleep. Eyes focused on the screen and then down at his drawing in front of him. A rough sketch of the new person of interest.

Those eerie glowing goggles were stained into his mind as he leaned back in his chair looking at the file they had created for him.

Name: Unknown

Age: Unknown

Height:5’3 ~

Weight: 115-130lbs~

Appearance: Black hair in black tech wear and a respirator over his mouth and glowing green lensed goggles. White motifs along the outfit with a white D symbol over the left side of the chest.

Status: Unknown

Alignment: Unknown

All these unknowns. How were they supposed to figure it out. He had to meet this person again. He had to find them. He didn’t have a choice. This person was a key in his case. He sent a text to Jason.

“Keep an eye out for a guy that roughly looks like this” He sent an attachment of the drawing he did of the rough outfit in greyscale and what he saw.

“Oh… I know that dude. The people called him Distortion.”

What?

Jason knew of him? How did?

“How?” Cue Tim’s annoyed thoughts at how Jason didn’t care to share this information with them. Any of them. “And you didn’t think a new body on the streets who has a name wasn’t something you wanted to share with the class?!?”

More little bubbles as he was typing.

“He belongs to me that’s all you need to know. He’s an associate. A valuable acquaintance.”

“Well your associate was found removing evidence from my crime scene and bolting.”

“Need to know basis, Tim.”

“Do you know his identity?”

“No.”

“Age?”

“Yes.”

“Can i have it?”

“Absolutely not. He doesn’t want to be involved with the Bats or on your radar. I’d advise deleting the file you’re creating on him. He doesn’t take well to being on record right now.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know Don’t care but he’s incredibly useful and I’d like to keep him on our side and he was very hesitant on even coming to me. He only came to me because he’s operating out of my territory.”

“At least the guy has some respect.”

“He has street smarts. Now back off Tim. You know I let you in on a lot and that’s why I’m telling you this, but him? Distortion? Let him do his thing. If he tells me anything I’ll let you know.”

“What do you get out of this?”

“An investigator.”

“You have us?”

“Not all crime is big enough to involve the bats. Not all crime I can do all the work for for myself. He helps me out locating information and in exchange I leave him the fuck alone.”

Tim stared at the texts.

More typing bubbles.

“You tell Dick, Damian, or especially Bruce about this and I will rat you out for the Yelen case.”

Tim would be silent after all…

He stared at his doodle, ripping it up. It looked like shit anyways. He rubbed his face frustrated really as he made no changes to the file. Dick didn’t have to know about what he knew. This felt wrong to him though. Not just the whole Jason apparently knowing of the guy. If Jason knew of the guy but he remained under the radar of the rest of the bats it was concerning, and even as close as he was to Jason he wouldn’t put it past that guy to keep his issues to himself.

He always thought of himself really. First and foremost. It had been that way since his return mostly. It wasn’t like he never tried. Birthdays and holidays he’d show up. Tim wasn’t going to like that he noticed the mans change in demeanor the past year had done for him. A decrease in murders Jason committed in Crime Alley.

It was subtle enough unless you were looking for it, it wouldn’t be noticed, but tim did. Tim did notice. It reminded him of that breakdown he had a while ago. The anger returning to his brother like it had been there all along slowly increasing. The pit madness returning with a full force nearly driving Jason away from everyone. Jason wouldn’t talk about why the pit madness hit him so hard again.

He wasn’t exactly a feelings guy. None of them were. Dick was the most open of the Bat siblings to openly talk about their emotions and hell Duke had the most normal of a life before it all. Even he was hesitant. They all saw the Black Canary at least once every 6 months and that was only after a begrudging agreement with Black Lightning and the rest of the justice league. Most of they, themselves, weren’t involved in the justice league.

It was also why Cass and Steph being asked to go seemed to set him off. It wasn’t his place.

“He belongs to me..” Tim whispered out the words with a slight possessive tome looking at their texts chewing on his lip a little. A small habit he picked up when he was lost in thought and alone. Usually only when he was relaxed and with family. He couldn’t let people read his microexpressions out in public.

“For a solitary man, that’s quite a possessive statement Jason,”he mumbled into the batcave before standing up and walking up the stairs to his room. Not that he got much sleep either.

#batkids #batphantom #batfam fanfic #batpham #fanfic #batfamily #batfam #tim drake x danny fenton #danny fenton #danny phantom #slow burn #danny is confused #Tim Drake has a coffee addiction #jason todd and bruce wayne #jason todd #richard grayson #jason todd is red hood #Jason Todd is being forced into Fatherhood #Bruce Wayne #tim drake #damian al ghul #tim drake is a menace #Tim Drake is Red Robin #it’s complicated #dark fanfiction #graphic depictions of violence #graphic depictions of a lot of messed up shit

[oifaaa]

All your AUs are so good and I get super happy every time I see you updated one! If I had to pick one for you to continue it would be the Batkids role reversal because it is the only role reversal AU that I can actually really enjoy given that it has ALL the Batkids instead of just the Robins (minus Steph who others always forget) AND because Jason is my favorite character and I need to see how he and his family are doing after that cliffhanger!!

See the literal only reason I haven't drawn the next piece for the reverse batkids is bc I know how I want it to look which is to put it bluntly way above my current art skill so it's gonna look really bad but I also know the only way to get better at art is to make shitty art so i will suck it up and draw the next part soon for now he's some jason and Damian from the same au before the whole death think

#ask #anon #dc #jason todd #damian wayne #dc comics #robin #batman #oifaaadoodles #reverse batkids au #Im also thinking about just doodling some more reverse batkids art #that takes place before of after events #so like go back and draw more teenage duke damian and baby cass #but im worried it'll get some people confused #so idk

[batfamhyperfixation]

*Tim beats Bernard in a game on their phones they have been playing back and forth*

Bernard: I thought you were an e-bae, turns out you're just an eboy

Tim, reaching a hand out, feigning remorse cause he gets the joke: bruh

Bernard: *same hand motions as the vine "I thought you were bae, turns out you're just fam" before he goes back to playing on his phone*

The rest of the Batfam, sitting across from them while this is happening:

Dick: he thought you were an online store?

Steph: probably cause Tim is as rich as ebay

Duke, someone who also still watches vines and is ashamed he gets it: he is calling him 'bae' like a romantic pet name, but added e in front of it cause the last half started with e, I don't think it was supposed to be like the store

Bruce, sitting there confused: what's an eboy?

#the batfam always provides ongoing commentary on tim and bernard interactions like they arent 5 feet away and can hear everything #bernard is a walking shitpost and the people around him just have to try to decipher what he is saying at any given time #but tim is chronically online so he has an easier time deciphering cause he too speaks their mutual love language of verbal shitposting #the batfam on the other hand... not so much- poor bruce is constantly confused every time bernard opens his mouth #batkids #batfam #bat family #tim drake #timbern #timber #dick grayson #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #duke thomas #incorrect batfamily quotes #bernard dowd

[begaycommittreason]

rookie gcpd officer: they’re right over here sir

jason, tim, steph, and dami, waving from a cell:

bruce: …where’s duke

steph, whispering: duke didn’t get caught

bruce: atta boy. alright i think we’re ready

dick: yeah be good kids

rookie: wait please don’t leave me with them

dick: oh you must be new. my advice is not to let tim and steph get too bored, tim dabbles in psychological terror and steph’s a professional instigator. also damian has more weapons than you think, and don’t take your eye off jason. remember no sugary foods, we’ll come pick them up at 6.

rookie: you can’t just-

veteran cop: sounds good, enjoy your night sirs

rookie: but-

veteran: listen that man funds this whole precinct, you’ll get used to it.

ALTERNATIVELY

bruce, holding his hands out: take me away

rookie: mr wayne sir i can’t-

gordon: oh would you stop being so damn over dramatic—

bruce: tim and damian got in a fistfight in front of vicki vale, dick broke multiple priceless antiques doing circus tricks at the last gala, duke and damian robbed petco claiming they were liberating the animals from oppressors and i had to pay out a lawsuit, cass, steph and tim spray painted my work suit neon, and then there’s jason.

gordon: …your cell’s all set up

bruce: thank god

the next morning

alfred, standing outside the cell: master bruce, you do need to come back to the manor

bruce: …five more minutes?

#just the gcpd being so tired and confused #batfamily #batkids #batfam #dc

[undertheredhood]

one of jason’s love interests deciding to make the first move (because we all know jason wouldn’t be the one to do it because he’s a loser): hey handsome, do you come here often?

jason todd (a nerd who’s last somewhat serious romantic relationship happened before his death): get the hell out of my city

#dc comics #dcu #dc universe #red hood and the outlaws #jason todd #jason peter todd #red hood #jason todd headcanon #oblivious jason todd #like father like son #jason is a loser when it comes to romance and it shows #i wonder who he got that from? #tim is filming the entire thing as blackmail #dick hears about it from one of the batkids the next day and he calls up jason immediately #dick: jason have i taught you nothing? #jason is confused because he didn’t realize he was supposed to take it as flirting #jason might be smart but when it comes to people liking him he is so fucking blind #jason is so flabbergasted when he finally realizes when someone likes him romantically #even if jason notices he’s going to be forever in denial #jason was never the angry robin #imo jason todd is a loser (said affectionately) when it comes to romantic relationships

[nrainyus]

part 7 of incorrect Batfam quotes that have been setting in my notes collecting dust

*Jason spacing out during a conversation with Dick*

Dick:There's nothing to celebrate

Dick:I mean, we could celebrate cheese if you want

Jason:.......................what

#Fun fact this happen to me I spaced out of a conversation with my sister and I still don't know to context to celebrating cheese #Would diff celebrate cheese tho. doesn't make what my sister said any less confusing #jason todd #dick grayson #incorrect batman quotes #batkids #batfam

[theredheaded-stuff]

After the Batfam meets Athanasia, Duke or Tim asks the wrong question:

Tim/Duke: “So…who’s older?”

Damian & Athanasia: I am..*looks at each other and glares, both their eyes glow* No, I AM!!!!! *lunges at each other (but it isn’t serious)*

And maybe if Mara’s with them she’ll explain that “Auntie Talia likes teasing them and never tells either of them who was born first to keep them guessing”

Talia and them have this sort of thing where they try to guess or assume which of the two of them is the older twin, and Talia only leaves hints that say Damian is the older twin but then leaves hints that Athanasia is the older twin. Like a fun little game between the 4 of them-it’s one of the few normal things they had in the League

So how does the Batfam react to this?

I loved this with all my heart

Ra's and the others league members probably did leave hints too, but the point is that they actually don't know who did born first, so everyone keep guessing and leaving hints to the one they think is the oldest twin

Talia is enjoying the chaos she created

Both Jason and Mara knows who born first and uses it to blackmail then but never say wich one of them did.

#damian wayne #athanasia al ghul #batfamily #jason al ghul #damian al ghul #talia al ghul #talia is a good momma #al ghuls #damian and athy are twins #batkids #dc #jason is the confused older brother who lost memories in some point of his life and now just agreed with whatever the kids says

[desperatecheesecubes]

Sometimes I see posts of ‘don’t include Babs in the pseudo batchildren category’ but like…. She’s the founding member the fuck you mean. Does BABS consider herself a child of Batman? No absolutely not. Does Batman consider her his kid? Also probably no but does he consider her his responsibility? Yes full stop. Do you really think this man saw a second child take to the skies of Gotham, only slightly older than his son, and not go ‘this child needs looking after’?

Furthermore do you think Babs looks at the other batkids and doesn’t think of them as her family? Cass rides a fine line between being a daughter figure or a younger sister figure to Babs but absolutely they’re family. I’m pretty sure she says Tim is like her brother at one point and she does call JPV her brother.

#mine #I’m probably not tagging this either #I need to be asleep #moderately related but I need to read more comics with Duke in them #because people are like include Duke in more of the batkids posts #but I am unclear on how he is Bruce’s son? #like his parents are explicitly alive #so…. isn’t he like actually JUST a foster kid #like your foster family is inherently temporary #anyway I know the answer lies in the comics I just somehow haven’t gotten to those #I read comics wildly out of order I’m so sorry #this isn’t a bashing against Duke being included btw it’s genuine confusion and the suspicion that fanon has deluded themselves about canon

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Sometimes I wake up at night thinking about who is Enigma's mother, how tf Ed new she was trully his kid (did he always knew he had a daughter and who she was, did he guessed, did he got a DNA test, just belived her, din't care enough to object, I need context!) and whose idea was to name her Enigma Nygma (Ik she didn't use her surname, but like, that would be it, and it's a travesty)

#riddler #edward nygma #batman #enigma #dc #wtf dc #i have so many questions #i know she is an irrelevant characther #who isn't cannon anymore (i guess dc is confusing) #and that was murdered by her dad when she was cannon #and I don't even like her #but like Duela was at least a fun mistery #and it made sense for the to not have a clear backstory because joker #but Riddler is obcessed with misterys and loves infodumping #so or he knew everything and us as the audience didn't #or Ed was just weirdly not questioning anything #I have a lot of different hcs and theorys #but my fav is that #Ed just got Enigma without questions so he could point at her everytime a batkid called him a virgin #and that serves for no bitches ed and all bitches ed #can we talk about Enigma Nymga? #awfull name #was her mom a fangirl #was Ed tired of being remotely sutil #did anyone consider she would have his surname? #did she choose her own name at some point? #it is the most likely I suppose

[yjcorefourenjoyer]

AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND

Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.

But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.

But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like

“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”

AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”

and Batman would respond

“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”

JL: “NO?!”

#Batman #dick grayson #Jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batkids #batboys #batman au #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #justice league #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam