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#the list only includes Unusual things
sergle · 5 months
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NOTHING makes me happier than when total strangers are possessed by the need to Give Hugo Something. like yes he gets a treat when we're at petsmart or something. but now. we can add "an entire bag of cinnamon twists at the taco bell drive-thru" to the list of things Hugo has been Given.
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transbookoftheday · 2 months
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Trans Horror Podcasts
My post about trans horror books last year was much more popular than I expected, and since I've recently fallen in love with fiction podcasts and audio dramas, I thought I'd make a post about trans horror podcasts as well.
If you like trans horror, please give these a try - especially if you enjoy listening to audiobooks!
Hello From The Hallowoods:
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Come walk between the black pines! In this award-winning queer fiction podcast, an eldritch narrator follows the increasingly connected residents of the forest at the end of the world. It's a bittersweet story that explores queer identity, horror genre tropes, and finding hope in humanity's last moments.
Hello From The Hallowoods is my absolute favorite podcast! If you only listen to one podcast from this list, please make it this one - it's so beautifully written and super queer! Also: season 4 starts today!
Trans main characters include:
our nonbinary eye-affiliated podcast host
a nonbinary "Frankenstein's creature"
a transmasc ghost
a genderfluid storm witch
a trans woman who can visit other people's dreams
multiple characters using neopronouns
Camp Here & There:
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Good morning, campers! Camp Here & There is a weekly horror comedy podcast tuned in to the loudspeakers of a small midwestern sleepaway camp plagued by supernatural terrors and natural disasters. Sydney Sargent, resident camp nurse, cheerfully reports on all the terror we must face with a big smile. Let’s hope there’s nothing weird about that!
Sydney is a trans man.
Dos: After You:
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Things have changed. Deck has fallen in love with someone who isn't human, and leaves a hungry house behind to see him again. Will he be waiting for you? The world has changed… but what about him? Dos: After You is a queer urban fantasy/horror audiodrama available in both English & Spanish
Deck is a trans man.
Jar of Rebuke:
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Follow Dr. Jared Hel's journey as he works to re-discover his forgotten past and finds his place within the small Indiana farm town of Wichton and the cryptozoological organization he works for called 'The Enclosure'. These audio journals, and other recordings, dive deep into Midwestern US cryptids and folklore while also telling a mystery about identity, queerness, neurodivergence, and community.
Jared is nonbinary.
Spirit Box Radio:
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Spirit Box Radio is an award winning, horror audio drama podcast about a radio show for enthusiasts of all things arcane. Follow Sam Enfield a former postboy with no experience in the arcane arts, who finds themselves forced to take over running the show, following the disappearance of the previous host. Sam soon discovers there are more than ghosts haunting the show, and finds himself amidst a mystery which threatens everything he knows about the world beyond his tiny basement broadcast studio, and maybe even himself.
Sam is a trans man.
The Silt Verses:
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Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity’s great black river, searching for holy revelations amongst the reeds and the wetlands. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories. This is a world where divine intervention takes place through prayer-markings scratched into stumping-posts, and offerings are left squirming to die in the flats of the delta. This is a world of ritual, and hidden language, and sacrifice. This is folk horror, and fantasy, and a dark road trip into the depths of unusual faith.
Faulkner is a trans man.
The Magnus Protocol:
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The Magnus Archives 2: The Magnus Protocol is the prequel/sequel/”sidequel” to the internationally renowned Magnus Archives podcast. The Magnus Institute was an organisation dedicated to academic research into the esoteric and the paranormal, based out of Manchester, England. It burned to the ground in 1999. There were no survivors. Now, almost 25 years later, Alice and Sam, a pair of low-level civil service workers at the underfunded Office of Incident Assessment and Response, have stumbled across its legacy. A legacy that will put them in grave danger. If this intrigues you then it is our pleasure to welcome you to the Office of Incident, Assessment and Response. Make sure you pick up your badge at desk and report to your line manager before sitting down. Oh and stay away from I.T., seriously.
I'm not sure if Alice is canonically trans, but her voice actress is a trans woman.
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autistichalsin · 5 months
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My incomplete list of circumstantial bits of evidence for werebear!Halsin
Note: I can see the case for both Halsin knowing AND not knowing that he's a werebear- I'm going to include both here.
The most glaring: Halsin can't control his wildshape. This is highly unusual for any Druid, let alone an Archdruid of his age and power. He not only can't control the transformation when experiencing strong emotions, but he can't entirely control his actions when scared or angry; he tells the player, after being rescued from the goblin pens, that he will be unable to not attack the goblins threatening them. This makes no sense for a wildshaped Druid, but makes plenty of sense for a terrified werebear. 1B. No other Druids in the entire game have the wildshape problems Halsin does. 1C. Halsin can control all his other wildshapes properly, and behaves much more like other Druids when using them.
Werebears who haven't learned to control themselves yet (such as if they don't know they are one, are recently turned, etc) often transform unexpectedly when threatened.
Halsin's bear wildshape is treated differently than any other; it's the only wildshape he can't control, and it has a separate mechanic to other wildshapes in-game, being activated not with other wildshapes, but on the screen for abilities that are an intrinsic part of the character's skills. Yes, this is probably because it's only Halsin who can do this, but circumstantially... it is interesting.
Werebears avoid biting to prevent spreading their lycanthrophy (unless they have negotiated with the person they are trying to turn). As far as I've seen (I DEFINITELY could be wrong, though, please let me know if I am), Halsin only ever uses his claws to attack- no biting attacks.
If you look at the sky during the romance scene with the player, the moon is shown very bright and prominent; it isn't 100% certain, but it looks like it could be full.
Halsin is VERY different from his normal personality in bear form, excluding the romance scene; if you use Speak With Animals when he's in the cage, he'll say things like "time for blood" as he prepares to attack the goblins. Werebears in bear form are noted for being irritable and quick to violence, though they attempt to mitigate the effects of these impulses through self-isolation so no one innocent is harmed. 6B. Halsin in normal form tries very hard to not get violent when possible, noting that "killing is never [his] first choice", yet when needs must, he won't hesitate to kill- the opposite of the bear.
If Halsin doesn't know he's a werebear (explaining him not telling you), it's worth noting that it IS possible for werebears who weren't born as such not to be aware, with any actions taken during the full moon tending to get written off as bad dreams. Halsin could just think he has a recurring nightmare about losing control of his bear form.
Halsin resonates wit bears a lot deeper than most other Druids do with their favorite animals. Kagha comes the closest with her love of snakes, but even she speaks more metaphorically, whereas Halsin will do it literally, such as a new, as-yet-unimplemented line where he says he hopes "an old bear" can help the player, making jokes about poking the bear, etc. in fact, he refers to himself as a bear more often than he refers to himself as an elf.
Halsin makes reference to honey mead being his favorite drink. Werebears have a special honey mead concoction they enjoy. This drink is highly intoxicating to non-were, which means it might be more intoxicating than other drinks to were too.
Halsin is shown having an alignment that leans far more towards good than neutral, whereas most of the Druids in this game have a neutral alignment. Werebears are one of two weres in DND lore that have a good alignment.
Werebears usually live solitary lives. Circle of the Moon Druids are noted as being very solitary as well, with it being possible to go weeks without seeing another Druid (though Archdruids of this Circle will of course be more involved). Halsin, before becoming Archdruid, is implied to have fit this, such as him making reference to having hibernated in bear wildshape.
However, werebears are still noted to have a strong sense of community, and they often act as guardian of a particular area. Like Halsin protecting his Grove, then protecting his commune in the end, even noting that his urge to roam has dwindled after finding the latter. In fact, werebears are noted to often be sedentary and prefer not to leave their homes; Halsin is restless and roaming until the epilogue, when all his traumas are resolved, at which point he settles and shows contentment at having gone from "a life of high adventure" to one of anything but. (He says this to the player if romanced, worrying that he took them from just that life, but he repeatedly says he is happy to have given up adventuring.)
It is noted that when werebears don't isolate, one of the more common choices for werebears is.... you guessed it. Becoming a Druid.
Werebears have the ability to call local bears to them. The Emerald Grove has three bears living there.
Werebears don't marry, but might have favorite mates they visit often. Depending on player choice, Halsin might end up a bit more committed than the latter, but still less than the former. Also, this ties in well with Halsin's stated philosophy on polyamory, with him specifically stating that a bear's coupling habits suit him more than another animal's, like, say, a wolf, would.
It is well-known by now that there used to be a Bard Origin named Helia, who would have been either a Halfling or a Gnome. Helia also would have been a werewolf. While it's not known for sure that she was cut specifically FOR Halsin to be made playable (it's doubtful, given how early Helia was cut), there are signs that parts of her story might have been given to Halsin. For example, if one looks in datamined dialogues, certain goblin camp scenes still say that it could be either Helia or Halsin's bear there. Such as this one for the goblin kids running off to warn the adults: "Panicked, the kids run to the room with the goblin warriors and call for help, because the bear / Helia has escaped. After that they disappear." (Not sure if they still run in the final game, but the PAD is still in the files.) Or for the goblin kids throwing rocks before the cutscene is triggered, "One of the goblin kids that is throwing rocks at Helia or the bear." I don't want to speculate too much about cut content, but this suggests that Halsin and Helia's stories may have intertwined somewhat, and that when Helia was cut, parts of her went to Halsin. This may be why Halsin's bear wildshape was written more like him being a were instead; in a meta sense, he "became" a lycanthrope when he inherited part of Helia's story.
Halsin is wide/tall, muscular, and has body hair (though not facial hair), to the point that people repeatedly comment on how unusual he is for an elf. Unusual for an elf, but not a werebear, who are noted for being, you guessed it, wide/tall, muscular, and hairy.
Werebears who are bitten instead of being born as such are almost always transformed by a more experienced werebear and then taken as a protege, to become a guardian of the forest, which would explain a LOT about Halsin if he chose this.
Halsin shows a lot of empathy and compassion for Astarion and the Dark Urge. While of course it could just be his genuinely kind nature, it could also be him relating it to his own experience as a werebear.
Lastly, there's this art from the collector's edition; my guess is that this art was made after they decided Halsin would be playable, but before Karlach had an official design (the IGN interview indicates that Karlach was only added earlier this year, leaving a wide window for this to happen). While this is, of course, subjective, the pose and juxtaposition of the bear to Halsin looks a lot like the sort of art used in werewolf movies. Sort of like how one of Halsin's point-and-click lines, "the power of the bear lies within me," sounds very were-like too. This one is more subjective than the others, but I still wanted to include it.
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This is all circumstantial, I know, but i thought it might be interesting to get out there nonetheless!
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nahoney22 · 2 months
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Hey :) I Hope this isn’t too late but I have a fic proposal.
Clones should have a lot of scars and propbably some insecurities, considering that to most people they meet they are ‚just clones‘. I was thinking about a female reader worshipping either Hunter’s or Wolffes/Echoes (I love my grumpy men) body. I think it is a cute idea to make them feel appreciated and loved. It can be NSFW or SFW, whatever mood you’re in.
I also have seen the prompts „i'm not scared of anything except losing you“ and  „ I am truly and unconditionally in love with you“ . They don’t have to be included tho
Congrats on 4k followers! You deserve it so much Honey
Byee
4000 Prompt List Celebration
Wolffe X F!Reader
SFW
word count: 937 words
prompts:
“I’m not scared of anything except losing you.”
“I am truly and unconditionally in love with you.”
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warnings: Angst and fluff, cuddling, talks of war and scars, light angst, female reader, established relationship, comfort, shirtless Wolffe, Spoilers for the latest episodes (6&7).
authors note: well seeing as we saw Wolffe so recently it’s only fair I pick this request. Sorry for the wait and hope you enjoy anon 🤍
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You awaken to the subtle shift of your bed dipping, drawing you from the haze of dreams. A gentle breeze hints at an open balcony, likely your Commander's doing.
You shift, eyes flicking to the chrono on your bedside table that reads the early hours of the morning before rolling onto you right, facing him.
He’s silent, usual. Shirtless, also a common sight, yet his shoulders bear an unusual weight. "Darling," your voice rasps with sleep, "is everything alright?"
He remains silent, a restless energy vibrating through him as his knee bounces with an unspoken tension. As your hand finds its place on the center of his bare back, a calming touch, his movements still, tension melting away.
"I saw Rex today," he finally speaks, the words carrying a weight you hadn't anticipated.
Your eyes widen, and you sit up abruptly. "Rex? I thought he died in a crash!" The unexpected revelation catches you off guard.
When things took a turn for a worse, you were discarded by this new ‘Empire’ yet Wolffe remained. Your relationship was a secret of course and things had been hard for the both of you. You didn’t agree with these new terms and what Wolffe was doing yet he felt obliged to do his duty. To be a good soldier.
Yet, at nights like this where he would sneak into your home when he should be in his own barracks, you always felt the heavy burden of whatever it was weighing on him.
"So did I... but there he was," he sighs, moonlight casting an ethereal glow on his cybernetic eye and scar. "A deserter, harboring a target the Empire seeks."
Your heartbeat quickens, anxiety gripping your thoughts. "You didn't harm him, did you?"
"No," he responds, a low rumble. "I let him go."
In a hushed tone, you respond, "Oh, well that’s a relief,” as you shift onto your knees directly behind him, offering a supportive presence.
Anticipating a bitter retort, you're surprised when he merely sighs, his head bowing as he falls into a contemplative silence.
Observing his stillness, your eyes trace a new wound on his back, joining the collection of scars. "How did this happen?" you inquire softly, your finger gently tracing the red mark destined to become another scar over time.
"Who knows? Falling from a cliff, getting shot by a civilian, crushed by rocks," he grumbles dismissively.
Moving closer, you delicately wrap your arms around his front, resting your cheek against his back. "Are you in pain?" you inquire, concern lacing your words.
He shakes his head, his hands finding yours to convey appreciation for the comfort. Though not one to seek coddling, the weight of the day has left him in need of solace. "No."
In a moment of necessary silence, a sudden wave of insecurity overtakes him. "Does it uh... look bad?" he hesitates, seeking reassurance.
"The wound?" you clarify.
He nods.
"No."
"Are you lying to me?"
"Wolffe," you interject firmly, gently squeezing his hands, "you know I wouldn't lie to you. We've discussed this. I promise it doesn't look bad."
His jaw tightens, a brief struggle visible on his face, but then he relaxes, allowing your words to penetrate. The scar on his face, a constant reminder, had often made him feel exposed and unattractive. Yet, your consistent reassurances that you saw him differently provided a balm for his insecurities.
“Each scar tells a story, a battle won,” you whisper, kissing his new wound as well as the small scars that littered the rest of his back and what you could see, “a battle lost…” He closes his eyes, knowing what scar you were referring to but allows you to continue. “You’re handsome. Nothing will ever change that or how I love you.”
He bites on the inside of his cheek, his face warming up by the softness of your lips against his skin in the moonlight and your sweet words that had him hooked from the start.
"Are you scared?" you suddenly inquire, and he turns his head, prompting you to move back while still maintaining the embrace. "That they'll find out you let the target get away?"
"I'm not scared of anything," he asserts with stern resolve, but a softness overtakes his expression. "Except losing you."
You offer a soft smile, leaning in to press your lips to his cheek. "Sweet, but I'm serious. Are you not concerned?"
His brow furrows, a hint of reluctance coloring his response. "I won't lie and say I'm not apprehensive. Kark, it wouldn't surprise me if they're already looking for me to reprimand. Or worse."
A twist of unease settles in your stomach, his words weighing heavily on your mind. Tears glisten in your eyes, and he realises his misstep. Without hesitation, he shifts to fully face you, reclining on the bed with his back against the headboard, pulling you close to his chest. "Let's not dwell on that. I'm sorry for waking you."
You roll your eyes at his attempt to deflect the gravity of the situation, but decide to take comfort in his presence for now.
As the soft sound of your snores fills the room, he finds solace in your embrace. He strokes your hair tenderly, a soft smile gracing his lips as he watches you succumb to sleep. "Beautiful girl," he murmurs, a sentiment he wouldn't express while you're awake, not one for overt displays of affection.
Before slipping away into the night, he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, his voice barely above a whisper. "I am truly and unconditionally in love with you."
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Masterlist
Prompt List Works
Tags: @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @jesseeka @theroguesully @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @seriowan @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @thesith @raevulsix @mssbridgerton @cw80831 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder @mysticalgalaxysalad @id-rather-be-a-druid @the-bad-batch-baroness @thiswitchloves9904
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slavghoul · 7 months
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Interview from Sweden Rock Magazine 10/2023
Hi, hi. There is an interview with Tobias in SRM’s newest issue, but it’s in the subscribers only section, so I thought I’d translate/share since I guess not many people will be able to get their hands on it. It is about Prequelle and it’s part of SRM’s „200 best Swedish hard rock albums of all time” series. Prequelle placed #68. The other albums may have scored higher, but for now we don’t know the whole list. Either way, enjoy. Very insightful. 
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„Do you think that "Prequelle" is Ghost's worst album?” Now that’s an unusual opening question. Especially when the interview is about an album that Sweden Rock Magazine's writers and qualified Swedish hard rock musicians (including Tobias Forge) have voted as one of the 200 best Swedish hard rock albums of all time. The question wasn’t planned, but comes spontaneously, as a reaction to the first thing Tobias Forge says when we sit down on opposite sofas in the record company office. I'm here for a two-part interview, partly about the EP "Phantomime" (published in #6 2023), partly about "Prequelle". Neither record companies, artists, voters, nor even our writers who conduct interviews for this series of articles have any idea what placement an album has received. Interviews are often done well in advance and we simply don't want placements to leak and become public long before publication.
No Ghost album has ever been on the list before. The idea is actually to end the day with the "Prequelle" talk, but when Tobias Forge suddenly starts with a funny little comment that this album is probably the one that those who have voted think is Ghost's worst or least popular album, I just have to take the opportunity to ask the question: Do you think that "Prequelle" is Ghost's worst album?
No, absolutely not, he says and laughs. If I'm going to be completely pragmatic, I'd say: "How many songs do we actually play from that record?" There are songs that work damn well live and sit where they should. So it's a pretty strong album.
But is this what you are basing it on? "Prequelle" was released after Ghost had become really big so it can't be compared to "Opus Eponymous" and "Infestissumam" which you don't play many songs from. I mean, no matter what kind of record you had released when "Prequelle" came out, you would still have played many songs from it and they would have worked precisely because Ghost's songs nowadays are moulded more to the arena format.
I don't know how to answer that, it's difficult. If the album had been different, it would have been. If I'm going to talk somehow both artistically and practically, I know that for every record we have become exponentially bigger. "Prequelle" was definitely no exception, but it also took us a big step forward and upwards and we became bigger and broader. To the extent that when we introduce old songs in the live set, you notice that there are elements on albums one and two that make some songs more difficult to play. Not technically, we can play the songs, but they don't work in quite the same way as the later songs, which means that there is a slight favouritism.
I asked the original question about whether you think it's Ghost's worst album only because you directly said that this means it's the least popular one.
I'm just so full of myself I assumed all the other albums are also in the top 200, which may actually be incorrect. This might be the best album and the others aren't even there, haha.
It wasn't long after "Prequelle" was released that you were self-critical of the album in interviews, saying that it was too ballad-heavy and a bit too soft. I haven't noticed that before, you being so self-critical shortly after the release.
Yes, but I still feel that way. If, as an artist, I am only going to look at the work with the criticism that one can feel towards one's own work, I think that if things had been different or if I had more time, I might have wished that I had managed to get maybe two more hard songs. Maybe one more hard song would have fit on the album and another harder song might have phased out one of the ballads. Now five years after the album came out, I know that the two ballads ("Pro Memoria" and "Life Eternal"), which I may not think are bad, are one too many. But I know that many of the people who like the band like both of them, so it's kind of a useless argument.
Who sets the length of an album? Have you set a limit, that it can't be longer than this and have no more songs than that?
No, but it must fit on an LP disc and there is a physical limit. I think the absolute pain threshold is 46 minutes and that's 23 minutes on each side. Now maybe Mikkey Dee (co-owner of Spinroad Vinyl Factory) will raise his hand here: "But I can make it longer!" And it's maybe 48 minutes, I don't know, but I do know that when a disc starts getting so full that you start getting close to the sticker, it starts to sound bad. Especially nowadays, because recordings today are so very maximalist in scope. It's one thing if you record 60s music with drums, a guitar and bass where the sound is cleaner and finer or if you play acoustic stuff with just vocals. Bob Dylan records could have eight songs on each side and it worked all the way through. But this kind of fairly compact music doesn't work well. Not only am I a militant vinyl advocate, I think we should respect the fact that most artists don't manage to create more than 45 minutes of good music on a regular basis. A lot of famous double records are not that good. I don't think the Rolling Stones "Exile On Main St" is very good. It might as well have been on one disc. And if I'm actually going to turn it into something completely mundane, I'd say that I think it's irresponsible to sit and make records with twelve songs if it results in the record being 63 minutes long and you automatically have to make a double record. It's pretty wasteful.
When you said that it's irresponsible, I thought you were going to say that it's irresponsible to print a double vinyl because of the environmental destruction that it entails.
Of course, if we're going to be completely straightforward and not do anything that harms nature, we shouldn't even release any records, so I say this with reservation. But with that in mind and for the sake of art, I think more people should embrace the actual given format that has been the most prevalent in rock history. There is a reason why a film is usually one hour and 30 minutes. You can’t take any more. There's a certain dramaturgical structure and there’s a certain comfort in it. Then the CDs came along they screwed that up, and suddenly there weren't two sides anymore but it started one way and ended another. Now that the CD is no longer important and we've gone back to vinyl, creators should follow suit and start embracing the physical rules.
Are there songs that have been rounded off just because you thought „I have to round off here, because if I continue, it won't fit on the vinyl disc"?
We actually had that problem on the last album. „Watcher In The Sky” ended the A-side and the outro is much longer on the CD and digitally. Two minutes longer I think. Much, much, much longer. It's long, noisy and has all these dives. It's a very chaotic soundscape. You get the feeling that it goes on and on, and on the vinyl it's just the beginning of an outro and then it drops almost immediately. I think that was a huge mistake.
So the overall sound quality was more important than vinyl buyers getting everything? Because you could have pressed the vinyl and it would have fit, but you would have had to compromise the sound quality.
Yes, exactly. You can get the song to just keep going until the vinyl simply runs out. Then it just starts spinning in the middle, depending on what kind of record player you have. But the problem then, if you want to anticipate events at a creative stage, is that people today buy and listen to vinyl records and are sensitive. It's quite common for people to complain that the record is broken. I don't just mean our records, but people complain a lot about the presses. If you make ten songs, it's therefore stupid to have a too thick soundscape towards the end of song number five and song number ten. If you want to be really good and old school, that's where you put a piano ballad because it's an easier sound to handle so far into the record. This is what I think about when I make records. But clearly sometimes I miscalculate.
This must cut right through the record collector Tobias Forge's whole body and soul, that "Watcher In The Sky” is shortened by two minutes on the vinyl of all versions.
Well... I don't toss and turn and wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it anymore. But when it happened, I was livid. Luckily it was just an outro. It would have been worse if it had continued with some kind of narrative into the next song. Now I can't remember in my head how long "Prequelle" is, but if I'd had to go back in time and just re-construct it, the re-construction wouldn't have had much to do with the existing material, I would have just wanted to add a scene. And it's not a scene that's missing, it's just for the sake of balance. It became asymmetrical in a way that bothers me a bit.
You've talked about this before, but it was before "Prequelle" that you really started to talk a lot about how you were thinking about what kind of new songs might suit the live show. Can you get stuck in that mindset, thinking more about what songs are needed live right now rather than creating an album that will last 30 years?
Hmm... (long pause)... The reason I'm sitting here thinking is because I'm trying to come up with examples of other bands that I think might have gone through something similar. I’m looking for examples to the answer I'm about to formulate and that is that: yes, I think there comes a point in the career when most bands make a record because they simply feel they need to… Because what we're talking about is that when you go from playing in small smoky clubs in front of an already inveterate audience that already understands the perhaps a little more chewy expression, that experience can change if you start playing in front of a larger and especially a different type of audience. When a different type of audience comes and you play in a different format, you discover that this song doesn't work very well, it doesn't sound very good and it's difficult to get the sound right. Then there's usually a record or two or three during your career when this transition happens where you start filling in with songs that work better live. Look at Piece of mind", "Powerslave" and "Somewhere in time". There's a reason why Iron Maiden didn't play a lot of the first two albums there and then, because it was easier to play the new songs. You get to that point somewhere in your career and it's very difficult to say when it is - there's no given rule and there are artists who continue to release relevant records and have an amazing ability to release new records and just play the whole new record. Well, now Iron Maiden does that and tests their audience a little bit in that way, but then they will always compensate by doing like a "best of" set the following year so everything is forgiven. Now we're in the middle of the "Impera" period here and have a very strong set, but I'm starting to feel that now that I'm about to start writing a new album, it feels like it's not really on my agenda to write three more albums that will change the live setlist ten years ahead. I think we already have the blueprint for what is Ghost's setlist, especially if you include the entire catalogue. After a while, each new record you make becomes a little less important. It's really hard to know when that point comes, but the truth is that new records don't matter in the same way. Slayer didn't have to release "Divine Intervention”. They definitely didn't have to release "Diabolus In Musica". I didn't care about it and I just wanted to hear the old stuff. If they had just come up and played "Reign In Blood" I would have been soooo happy. And that's the way it is with most bands. Nobody would be sad if the Rolling Stones came up and didn't play anything from "Emotional Rescue". And that's just the way it is. In the future, I can see a scenario where there is probably a basis to possibly build up an alternative setlist. There are so many songs that we do not play and that I have nothing against - I love them too! But it would almost be easier to build up a completely alternative setlist and run a show with only the odd songs. There are so many songs now. There's no reason not to build on that. But when I want to make a new record, it's irresponsible for me not to consider that there might have to be some songs that are a bit more direct. But it doesn't hurt me if we have more songs that we don't play live. I don't know if this answers your question...
I would actually like to ask exactly the same question again, because I wonder if you yourself feel that you get stuck during the making of the record. You said that you would have liked to include another hard song because "Prequelle" doesn't have the balance that you would have liked to have in retrospect.
Exactly, but the explanation for that has more to do with my mental capacity there and then. I simply couldn't cope. I felt that I had probably maxed out… It was probably about as much as I could do that year. That's the simple explanation. To get another song that would have fit and that would have fulfilled this requirement that I now in retrospect would have wished I had, it would have required something that I did not have there and then. The only thing that could have made it easier is if I had more time. It is difficult to reason about it, you see.
I was in the studio for a few days during the recording and it's one of the few times in all these years that I've done interviews where someone has started crying during an interview. It was quite obvious that everything that had happened with the split of the band affected you.
Yes. Of course. It did.
Is "Prequelle" a difficult album to listen to for you? Can you sit and listen to it all the way through? 
Well, at the moment I have to do that from time to time, and listen to all the records, because we're just about to start rehearsing again and then I sometimes have to go back and just listen to the record to go: "Fuck, is that really how I sing?" Especially when we start rehearsing, I can be a bit like: "Damn, who changed this bit?” Then I usually sit down and it hits me: "Oh, it's me who has changed my song!" You simply do that over the years, you start singing it in a slightly different way. So sometimes I have to go back and listen, but it’s more practical. I don't think it's fun to listen them. I do it until they are finished. I listen over and over and over again and really try to listen with all the imaginary ears and all the imaginary perspectives you can have. "How would I have listened to this if I had heard it from this perspective?" Just to get as "objective" a perspective as I can until I'm satisfied, but then it's like „No, I don't want to hear this anymore". But I have to say that I think "Prequelle" is a very tolerable disc despite everything that interfered with the process. Therapeutically, it works quite well considering that we are still playing at least half of the album. For every artist there are songs that you want to play, and there are songs that you don’t want to play because they feel too personal. I don't feel that way about this one, it's more like: "Ah hell, they're part of the setlist and people like it and it sounds good. So that's what we're doing."
On a personal level, was Tom Dalgety the perfect producer for you, the way you were feeling at the time? Tom feels like the kindest, sweetest producer you can meet. He wasn't the kind of producer who pushed you very much, it was more of a nice atmosphere between you.
Yes, really, and it would have been different if Klas Åhlund, who is more confrontational, had been in the room. Now Klas and I are great mates, so it would certainly have been very therapeutic also, but it would have been a different process. If an artist comes in who is in such bad shape that they can't make a record, or a band where the main songwriter has just left them, then a Bob Ezrin goes in and says: "If you don't make the record, I'll make the record myself.” And he goes and makes Kiss "Destroyer" or Alice Cooper records. I'm not saying they didn't make them, just that you hear that Bob Ezrin made "Beth". It's a type of producer that's very different from a lot of other producers who maybe act a little bit more like buddies and cheerleaders and make the atmosphere good. Bob Ezrin doesn't care so much about the atmosphere in the room. Klas is somewhere in between, I would say. Given the condition I was in during "Prequelle", the result could probably have been different if Klas had come in. Ironically, there was actually talk of him doing it, but he didn't have the time and we'll never know how it would have turned out. I only know that it would have been different, but right there and then Tom was fantastic. I know that a lot of bands like to work with him because he is technically brilliant. He's really good at those typical sounds that people like: cool drums, guitar, bass, tone and clarity. He is also very "happy go lucky", a nice guy who sits and jokes all the time. Even if he has a bad day, it doesn't affect anyone else, which is convenient.
Let me compare it to when a writer contacts me after an interview and says "that was such a nice interview". For me, "nice" is not something positive in such a work situation and the result is often better when there is a little friction.
Mmm, and that is more Klas. There is more friction and more confrontation. And I was much better equipped for that at "Meliora" and later at "Impera". I felt better and was simply stronger. There wasn't the same survival instinct as on "Prequelle". If I think back, not about how the album turned out and how I have to live with it, but if I think back to the situation I was in, I was very anxious all the time. Even though I'm happy with the result, I wouldn't want to go through the recording again, even though Tom was great. Because it's hard to work when you're under attack. I realised that now when I made "Impera", when it was no longer like that. You are much more comfortable, it doesn't feel the same, you are more mature, you make better decisions, you are more controlled or dare to be uncontrolled. When things are this serious, you can end up in a freeze mode. Maybe that's also why there wasn't another song. The song that I miss doesn't exist because I simply squeezed out everything I had. If I had been in a different emotional state, I might have been more comfortable working out something at the last second from bits and pieces. But I felt that I really just wanted to get it done, deliver it, get back out on tour and start over again.
When you described being more mature during "Impera" you sounded like a 70-year-old, kind of like all the Aerosmith-like bands that have been fighting all their lives and now that they're in their 70s they say "we're soooo mature,” haha.
I think with all artists, especially when they're required to work in a group, there are many recordings that have been a collision with a wall because you're expected to function in a context all the time, whatever and whenever. But you do change and from one year to a few years down the line there can be a huge difference in a person's drive, hunger and priorities in life. Whether you have the same band structure as I do or whether you play in Metallica, people come in one state and they may end up in another, because you have different priorities at different times. It's unfortunately against the whole rock myth. I think that's the biggest problem for bands and businesses, that you always have this idea that if you just get to a certain stage - not just monetarily or career-wise, but you get to a certain stage of fun - then we've reached the status quo. But that is never the case! Never! There’s always something. Even in the best moments when everything is working, the band is awesome, everyone is working well, the crew is awesome, everyone is laughing, it's just a party all the time mentally, you have the world's best tour manager, everything is flowing and the tickets are selling, there will always be someone who doesn't like it and then has to break away and want to do their thing because it's no longer fun. It's usually somewhere in the lead-up to a stage where it's interesting and then once you've achieved it, it all becomes a bit boring. Just like in a relationship some people may eventually think, "well, that's a bit boring, I have to go out and do something else".
Since I was in the studio when you were laying down guitars on "Witch Image", my heart beats a little extra for that song and I thought it would be a great live song, but you've barely played it (at the time of writing it's Ghost's forty-fourth most played song live).
We did it during the "Prequelle" tour, or "A Pale Tour Named Death" as it was called. Then we did quite a few "an evening with" concerts, for better or worse. The advantage was that if you were a big fan of the band we actually played a lot of songs and actually a lot of the first albums, like "Idolatrine" - or "Witch Image". We did a set, a break and then a whole other set. That was a bit of a taste of what I was talking about earlier: doing a slightly larger set and then a slightly smaller one. You just shouldn't do it on the same night because it gets a bit stale. We played for two hours and 30 minutes or something and that wasn’t a good idea, haha. At least we did "Witch Image", but it has fallen behind a bit and it doesn't mean that we will never play it again, just that we don't do it right now. What I've been happy about is that there has been a feeling for the records that we've made recently, "Prequelle" and "Impera", that people still want to hear the new stuff. We haven't gotten to that stage that I talked about earlier when it doesn't matter anymore. Then it's very fun to try to find a new way to perform the songs, not technically, but suddenly a song like "Witch Image" might fulfill a very nice purpose between a completely new song and another song.
Let me speculate: in 30 years, I think "Rats" will be considered the great hard rock song, "Dance Macabre" the great hit and "Life Eternal" the great ballad. What do you think? Will this in the future be seen as the three big songs of the album?
Yes, that makes sense, I think. I understand that an instrumental song automatically ends up in the wake of a "best of" collection, in the sense that you do one in 30 years. I realise it's not a hit but the instrumental "Miasma" is a big part of our live show. It's strong and feels like such a keeper. Now we don't play "Life Eternal" very often actually, but it was very well received. For some reason people like to get married to it, I don’t know why, hehe. It's nice but it's also a bit like U2’s „I still haven't found what I'm looking for" and you don't use that one at a wedding. But people like it and I guess interpret it differently to me. It’s also a song that I don't think is fun to play live.
And why not?
Because I find it hard to play ballads. Physically, they don't feel the same as rock songs. I miss the "dunka dunka". Now everyone who plays music today knows what I mean - sorry, readers who don't play music - and it's that there's a small problem with having in-ear monitors. This means that you have to reach a certain frequency of beats in order to feel the music, unlike when you played at clubs with only a guitar amp behind you. You felt every single note you made and it just went through your body. Nowadays, I think it's sometimes hard when you play slow songs, because you have to trust that it sounds good, whereas when you play a rock song, you feel that it sounds good.
Does it also apply to "He Is” which is such a huge ballad, not least live?
Well, just the intro and then it gets going quite quickly and suddenly becomes a hard and rather fast-paced song. The classic ballad concept has always been that you play so-called edge beats to make it sound soft, while "He Is” is actually a rather hard-played song considering that it is a ballad. Once the drums come in – boom, boom – it's got AC/DC bite to it. It has a rock feel to it that "Life Eternal" doesn't really have. As I said, I don't think that "Life Eternal" is a lot of fun to perform, but that doesn't mean that it isn't quite good to listen to. It’s just that when I play "Dance Macabre" or "Mummy Dust" I feel that I can express myself physically more in line with what the text says and what it means.
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sweet-s0rr0w · 7 months
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Vintage Drarry Fics
Thought I'd put together a list of some of the old Drarry 'classics' of my teenage years, for anyone interested. All posted between 2001-2006, compiled using my (bad) memory, a lot of googling, fanlore.org and numerous different LJ rec accounts (including the incredible @capiturecs). I checked as best I could, but if anyone knows of any fics that their author doesn't want to be shared, please let me know and I will of course remove.
Please also note that these fics are of their era, when attitudes may have been different, and they may not all be grammatically perfect. I haven't reread all, as my own tastes have changed, but most importantly do note that they may not be tagged - don't blame me when, for example, Harry dies tragically on a rooftop at sunrise...
Hogwarts Era (mostly 5th-7th year)
A Thousand Beautiful Things by Duinn Fionn/geoviki (M, 105k)
Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.
All Bets Are Off by Allegra (R, 53k)
I am SICK of Good-little-innocent!Harry...Enter Playboy!Harry and his Overinflated Ego, a challenge, a bet, a couple of Really Cunning Plans - and there you have it, "Forty days and forty nights", Hogwarts style. Mayhem ensues! 
Angels and Devils by beren (E, 52k)
Harry defeated Voldemort and his act of heroism is famous throughout the wizarding world. He's trying to finish his final year at Hogwarts in peace, but, thanks to the method he chose to destroy The Dark Lord, something peculiar is happening to him, something he never would have expected. It's all rather embarrassing and making his life very complicated.
Artful Facade by Sky Sorceress (T, 66k)
Sometimes you fly too close to the sun and lose your wings. With sixth year approaching, the danger Harry seeks can be found only in the form of Draco Malfoy. What follows is a twist in the line between hatred, love, and need.
Beautiful World by Cinnamon/Lissadiane (M, 70k)
Harry finds out he's going to die on his 16th birthday. He embarks on a journey of self-destructive behaviour and drags Draco along for the ride. 
Beneath You by Cinnamon/Lissadiane (M, 113k)
Draco had no idea that the repercussions of stealing Potter's journal and shoving it down the back of his trousers would be so extreme.
Bond by AnnaFugazzi (M, 173k)
It seems 95% of H/D writers feel compelled to write a "Harry And Draco Are Forced To Be Together By Something Beyond Their Control And Then Unlikely Stuff Happens That Leads To Twoo Wuv" story. Count me among the 95% ;)
Checkmate by Naadi Moonfeather (T, 245k)
Draco has the perfect plan to get Harry Potter and challenges him to a game of Dare Chess. But is it love, or betrayal, he has in mind?
The Cicatrix Cycle by Ivy Blossom (NC-17, long!)
Three parts: Origins, Haven, Belong
Draco In Darkness by Plumeria (T, 41k)
Following an accident in his seventh year, Draco loses his eyesight. After Harry elbows his way into Draco's dark world, both boys find themselves in a strange new friendship, and they each learn new ways to see each other … and themselves.
Eclipse by PhoenixSong/Mijan (T, 287k)
"You're dead, Potter... I'm going to make you pay..." Draco swore his revenge on Harry for Lucius's imprisonment, and Harry all but laughed at him. But Draco is planning more than schoolyard pranks this time. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. It's the perfect plan, guaranteeing revenge, power, and prestige, all in one blow. But, when Draco's world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins, and the battle will take them both through hell and back. If they come back. 
Friend Like Me by Lady Vader (M, 11k)
Draco's rendition of the love story that never was.
How Harry Potter Got His Groove Back by Durendal/Eleveninches (R, 12k)
Snape tries to hang himself, Draco enters an alternate reality, and Harry Gets a Clue. Humor, SLASH, naughty language, and other Evil Things. Harry/Draco, Snape/James/Lucius.
Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn (PG-13, 124k)
Under the influence of a love potion, Draco learns that poison doesn't always bring death -- there are other ways to suffer and live. Chemical emotion runs feverish as Harry and Draco discover the intoxication of love.
Lettered by pir8fancier (M, 7.8k)
Harry has a secret penpal, whose identity is as plain as the nose on his face. Except he's not wearing his glasses.
Love Under Will by Aja (R, 116k)
In their 5th year, Harry and Draco choose to be with one another; but the story--and the battle-- is just beginning...
playing the game, living the lie by Abaddon (R, 159k)
Set in Sixth Year, both the wizarding and Muggle worlds are threatened as Voldemort plans a final revenge. Past, present and future collide as all must consider where their loyalties lie; who they are, and who they want to be. Amidst it all, Harry and Draco begin a dangerous journey of understanding. Is it possible to leave everything you thought you were behind?
Resolution by Frances Potter (R, 322k)
When you've spent six years fighting evil, all you really want is a quiet time. But when your name is Harry Potter the chances of that are very slim. A series of vignettes chronicling Harry's final six months at Hogwarts. Exams, friends, lovers, Quidditch, the war and Draco all conspire to make the year end seem a very long way away.
Seamus is Seamus and You are Yourself by Ari Munami (PG-13, 31k)
Harry goes through some er... changes in his Sixth Year and everyone, including Draco Malfoy, sits up and takes notice.
Snakes and Lions by GatewayGirl (M, 139k)
When Ron and Hermione get together, they notice only each other. A nightmare prompts Harry to return alone to the empty Chamber of Secrets, and leads to a new look at an old enemy. Harry enjoys the company, but with Bellatrix Lestrange actively hunting him, how far can he trust a Death Eater's son?
Something Impossible by epicylical/Cassandra Claire (PG, 6.4k)
As punishment for an act of vandalism, Draco is forced to perform three tasks to win Harry's forgiveness - only they don't turn out to be exactly the kind of tasks he'd been expecting. With wet shirtless Draco, paint-covered Harry, and Proust-reading Goyle.
Transformation by amalin (E, 98k)
In Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, he must face the consequences of the attack on the Department of Mysteries and the effects of Voldemort's return. And in doing so, he finds that even your enemies can teach you valuable lessons—about the world, and about yourself.
Walking the Line by SilentAuror (E, 179k)
Sixth year is over and Draco Malfoy is on the run. The war is on and an unwanted assignment is forced upon him by the only people he trusts - and a one-time arch-enemy just may be out to kill him.
Post-Hogwarts
Adagio in G Minor by furiosity (NC-17, 18k)
Seven years after Hogwarts and the war, life continues in the wizarding world. Draco Malfoy is rich, bored, and slightly jaded. Harry Potter is famous, busy, and somewhat disillusioned. They've not seen each other since school ended. What would happen if they were to cross paths again? What if it involved music?
Big Dick, Come Quick [PDF] by Calanthe (NC-17, 204k)
Draco’s got a theory. About sex. And after much searching for the right candidate, it appears that only Harry Potter, his life long enemy, can help him test it out.
Draco's Escort Service by Cheryl Dyson/dysonrules (15, 12k)
Draco's job is to escort travelers through the dangerous, war-torn countryside. Harry Potter is forced to hire him, but his destination isn't quite what Draco expected.
Left My Heart by Emma Grant (E, 85k)
Auror Draco Malfoy has disappeared, and Harry Potter has been sent to San Francisco to find him. 
Malfoy, P.I. by Nancy (R, 60k)
"I'm Draco Malfoy, private investigator. I've seen a lot--I mean a lot, and I'm like sweet seventeen a lot. I thought I'd seen it all, until a pair of green eyes stepped into my office." A noir AU set in L.A. where passion and magic collide. Slashy and sexy.
Queen of Hearts by scoradh (E, 65k)
A spectre is haunting Harry - the responsibility of his destiny. It looms over his future and, more importantly, over the future of his friends. Harry is determined to exorcise this spectre for the greater good, but on the way, he enters into a few unholy alliances.
Tissue of Silver by fearlessdiva (R, 76k)
A love story concerning possessed furniture, black silk pyjamas, courtroom drama, premonitions of doom, assassination attempts, Death Eater yoga, absinthe, bare feet and a sensible werewolf.
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by November Snowflake (M, 58k)
When the long-missing Draco Malfoy turns up at a Ministry field hospital with amnesia, bitter Auror Harry Potter must confront the shadows of their shared past to shed light on a potentially deadly mystery.
Transfigurations by Resonant (E, 71k)
Five years after Voldemort's defeat, Harry returns to England to help re-open Hogwarts.
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obsessedwithlute · 1 month
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If The Hazbin Hotel Characters Worked At A School
Charlie- You might think Charlie would be the principal but NO! Charlie is the therapist! She tries to get everyone into her office for a session by the end of the year- including the teachers! Vaggie- Vaggie would teach mainstream math. Her favorite thing about teaching math is giving people extra homework when they disrupt her class. (A lot of people leave with extra homework. One time Angel Dust walked in on her in the middle of a test, and she made him do a homework sheet).
Angel Dust- He is a substitute. He's actually qualified to teach computer science, but he doesn't. It's his best kept secret why he doesn't.
Husk- He teaches Italian. He's not properly fluent in Italian and only got the job because Lucifer lost a gamble to him and Husk said he'd let him keep his money if he did "one tiny favor". Angel Dust likes to lurk outside Husk's classroom when he gets the chance, and the second Husk mispronounces a word, Angel will stick his head in, correct him and then dart back out. Husk pretends to hate it but he actually finds it really hot. (Angel Dust was also actually the one who TAUGHT Husk Italian).
Lucifer- Lucifer is the principal. He doesn't really care what most of his employees do, including stalking the Italian teacher, cruel and unusual punishment during guitar lessons, or fucking in the janitor's closet. As long as "most of his employees" doesn't include Alastor.
Alastor- Alastor actually teaches health, or sex ed, or whatever you call it. He went to college and got a degree and didn't do it "The Husk Way" all so he could do two things: 1. Properly represent queer people, especially trans people, during the class because he knows, as a trans person, that it's really hard not to feel undermined during the class. 2. Make jokes about being an asexual person teaching sex ed (I'm not asexual/aromantic but it just seems like the kind of thing Alastor would do- especially considering how he reacts to Angel badly propositioning him). If you make a queerphobic comment in Alastor's class, you're dead. Possibly literally. Alastor never actually adheres to the curriculum, and Lucifer keeps trying to break into his class and catch him but somehow Al is always two steps ahead. When Lucifer is not at school, Alastor takes his whole class down to the kitchens and has them make jambalaya for the whole period. If you can't eat jambalaya, Alastor has a whole closet full of alternative ingredients for you but EVERYONE IS EATING SOME FORM OF JAMBALAYA OR EVERYONE HAS TO FIX ALASTOR'S VINTAGE RADIOS DURING DETENTION FOR A MONTH.
Lute- She teaches biology and is that one teacher who everyone either loves or hates. She runs the GSA and has weekly meetings and she's also the teacher who becomes your replacement mom if your real mom sucks. (This also applies to the teachers, she's also basically Angel Dust's mother by now). If you make a queerphobic comment in her class, she will stalk for exactly two weeks after you say it, slowly recording every single discriminatory thing you say. Then she will make you stay after school hours and reads off her entire list. Then she assigns you detention for two weeks and makes you write a 5-page essay on whatever chapter of Queer Ducks her heart desires in size 8 Arial font during the few precious hours of the day you don't have detention.
Adam- He teaches the jazz band, and if you play guitar, you get double lessons. Twice a month, Adam conducts tests randomly. You have to get up and play a song of his choice- no sheet music allowed. If you mess up even once, Adam gets to smack your guitar with a rock and you get to pay for the damages. (Lucifer knows, doesn't care, and makes rubber duck voodoo dolls all day long.)
Cherri- She teaches gym and if a student isn't running fast enough, she throws basketballs at them. Not hard to HIT them, but just enough to give them some motivation.
Sir Pentious- He doesn't work at this school. He works at a preschool in a different town. But since it's only a half-day, as soon as he gets the chance, he leaves and goes to stare longingly at Cherri while she somehow manages not to get fired. Everyone is just used to him being there, and he's fine with that.
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stillflight · 2 months
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Especially with "rare" or underacknowledged experiences I feel like maybe the whole obsession with validation thing is too much. It's shallow, and it introduces no value to the nonhuman community. An unusual demographic, like, idk, flamingo therians, are going to benefit a lot more from ONE flamingo just posting shit about its experiences and identity in the tags than they will from a thousand users who aren't even birds posting "Shoutout #45: Flamingokin exist!" and making pink pride flags and shrimp themed stimboards. Reign me in if this is too blunt but we will only find nonhuman community by actually talking about ourselves as nonhumans, not by note farming.
Even if you're pretty sure you're the only one here of your species. Ok, you're a Megatherium, and you've never even seen your kind mentioned before, and it's so cool that someone has included giant ground sloths in a mile-long list of "who's valid" (that ends in "any everyone else!" anyway). But what do you think you're getting out of a single shoutout to your species from someone who's not a member of it, doesn't know anyone who is, and doesn't even know for sure they're speaking to a real audience at all because they don't know you exist and just threw it in there because they heard of them in a book?
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railingsofsorrow · 7 months
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(not so) stupid things
[spencer reid x reader]
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A/N: hi! this is my entry for the CM meet cute challenge created by the amazing @imagining-in-the-margins
summary: the one where reader is a detective responsible for a case the FBI is called to work on and as they try to make a good first impression, it slips their mind that one of them does not shake hands.
or... based on the eighteenth episode of criminal minds' S8.
pairing: s.reid x gn!reader
w.c: 1.7K
warnings/content: anxiety (implied); case related violence; mentions of injuries and blood; mentions of needles; two awkward people (try) flirting; fluff; language.
navi
masterpost
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“The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.”
“O-oh,” you stutter out, blinking in surprise and immediately drawing your hand back. How could you have forgotten this?
Your boss had told you some important information about the team you were going to work with: the Behavior Analysis Unit. It completely slipped your mind who the “Doctor who doesn't shake hands” was. You just vaguely knew Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi, but the rest was a bunch of strangers you hadn't connected the name to the face yet. That included the Doctor who was giving you a tight-lipped smile and had sputtered out the most quick statistics data you had ever heard.
Did he just said kissing is safer than shaking hands?
The blonde sighed, her glare towards Dr. Reid softening when she turns to you. She offers her hand and you take it with a light chuckle.
“That's just Spencer's way of saying he doesn't shake hands.” She clarifies. “I'm Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ.” She introduced herself and then proceeds to do the same with the rest of the team. You finally connect the name to the face and you feel more at ease.
“Nice to meet you all,” you say. “I've prepared a room for you to set in during the investigation.” You lead them to the bigger roundtable room you had in the station and wait for them to scatter around to start listing the findings of the case you had until now.
They had a quick way of thinking – it was the first thought that went through your mind as you observed each Agent throw a possibility on why the crimes were happening and the reasoning for the M.O as well. It kind of amazed you how connected they seemed to be to have reached that adjustment within themselves.
The first lead took you to a museum. Your main goal there was to find anything on the suspect you've been following. That required you to speak to one of the museum tour guides who apparently had contact with them as you saw in one of the security cameras.
“How long have you been doing this?”
You immediately grimace at the invasive and completely inappropriate question that leaves your mouth. You couldn't help saying stupid shit when you were nervous. The FBI made you nervous. You had been chasing the suspect for more than three months and only now you were able to find a pattern in their behavior. Obviously, you weren't working alone, but you still feel dumb for not having noticed what is clearly obvious in federal agents’ eyes.
“Doing what?”
Your attention snaps back from the crowd of people to him, whose head was slightly tilted in confusion. The question you made escaping your mind for a second. “Oh. I— Actually. You don't have to answer that, I'm sorry.” Cheeks burning and hands sweating weren't a great combo right now. Your witness still hadn't stepped away from the group of children so you had to wait.
“It's okay.” He shrugs, burying his hands on his pockets. His eyes fall into your fidgety hands and he's familiarized with the feeling of being uncomfortable in big crowds. The museum was full, which was unusual according to you. “Mhm, did you mean how long have I been in the FBI?”
You hum quietly, arms folding across your chest.
“Seven years, five months and twenty-one days.” Your lips part in astonishment.
“Seven years?” You ask, dumbfounded. Spencer nods in affirmation. “You look like a college student—” you quickly cover your mouth with a hand, your cursing being muffled by it. “Sorry, I'm sorry. That came out wrong, I just meant that you look young and—”
“No, no, it's okay.” Spencer chuckled, amused by the whole thing. “I do get that a lot. Technically, I am a college student. I'm on my third PhD.”
Have you just met the next Einstein?
“How do you do it?” You say in wonder. “I mean, I went through college one time and I couldn't wait to get far from it as I possibly could and—” you were interrupted by the sound of his laugh, his eyes crinkling at the sides caused you to smile a little. You realize your shoulders were less tense and you could actually feel your feet again.
Spencer clears his throat before responding, his face carries a soft flush and you find it endearing. “I like studying.” Before you can ask him to elaborate, your eyes narrow at the tour guide, who you were supposed to talk to, stealthily disappearing into a hallway. This is how you end up running around a museum chasing someone that had just moved up to be the primer suspect in an ongoing investigation.
“You okay there?” Agent Morgan's voice pulled your gaze away from the medic stitching up your wrist.
Luckily, you and Doctor Reid succeeded in catching the museum tour guide, leading you to find out that the murders in the city were actually premeditated by two people, not just one. But that didn't go smoothly, the unsub — a curious name the BAU used, you've never heard it before — had a knife in their possession. Just as you were about to snatch it away from their reach while Spencer talked him down, your skin earned a slice right on your wrist because you were bold enough to tackle them to the floor.
Not a nice feeling, but you faced similar situations before, so that wasn't out of the ordinary. That didn't mean you enjoyed the feeling of being poked around.
“I'm fine,” you give him a grateful nod. “Just a scratch.” The image of the BAU's genius flash through your brain. “Huh, is Doctor Reid okay? I'm pretty sure he almost got one of these in his face.” You refer to your cut that was currently being dealt with.
Something that you can't recognize twinkle in the Agent's eyes. Amusement? Smugness? “Oh, Reid's alright. He's actually been asking non-stop about y—”
“Morgan.”
You see his smirk increase when Spencer strides over to where you are. The two share a look that you can't translate due to the tickling of the needle in your sensitive skin.
He's sitting beside you in no time and you're about to say that he doesn't have to bother, but he beats you to it.
“Up to 1 in 10 adults struggle with needles. 16% of them actually avoid getting vaccines because of their trypanophobia.” You look at Spencer as he inhales to keep rambling. “Studies show that many people grow out of that fear, but some remain with it.”
“Clearly,” you mumble, embarrassement causing your neck and cheeks to become red.
His eyes widen and he quickly raises his hands, “Oh, no! That's not what I— I didn't mean to—” he sighs as your lips try to hold back a smile. “I tend to say stupid things when I'm nervous.”
The medic says you're good to go and that's your cue to let out the breath you've been holding in instant relief as you can not longer see the needle. You thank them and step out of the ambulance.
“Like claiming that kissing someone is safer than shaking their hand?”
He stumbles upon an answer which takes you to a laughing fit that attracts some attention. You ignore the ugly looks in order to focus on a warm touch on your shoulder, stopping you from bumping into a police officer.
“Sorry, I was messing with you,” you say slightly breathless, your shoulder tingling where his hand lay. “I say stupid things when I'm nervous, too. I guess we have that in common.” Spencer is grinning when he pulls his hand back. You wonder what his thinking as his eyes travel across your features.
Maybe he's finally concluded that I'm a fool.
“Why would you be nervous?” You look away at a passerby to avoid his stare.
“Nothing, I—” he swallows, folding his arms and unfolding them right after. You don't need to be a profiler to realize he's nervous.
Your slow pace halts when he stops following you. You wait for him to sputter out random statistics or literally anything except for what he says next.
“Can I have your number?” He croaks out. “I thought that it wouldn't be unprofessional after the case was over because technically we aren't working anymore and— you know what? Never mind, forget I said—”
“Doctor Reid,” you say carefully. He clips his mouth shut. “Yes, you can have my number.” He lets out a soft oh and you smile. You ruffle through your pockets to find a pen and when you do find, you silently ask for his hand and he raises it towards you, confusion drawing his brows together.
He feels a tickling sensation as you write your number down on his open palm.
“There.” You offer him a smile to which he replies with one of his own as his eyes scan your scribbling on his hand. A vibration in your blazer forces a heavy sigh to leave your lips. You apologize as you grab your phone. “Ah, yes. I'm— I'll be there.” You turn to Spencer with a disappointed look after the call ends. “Sorry, I have a lot of reports to finish and they need me in the station.”
“It's okay.” He nods. “I understand.”
You don't leave right away though, hesitating in your step. He just as awkwardly stands there. Are you back in high school or something? When have you ever been that shy?
“So, I'll see you around?” You ask.
He outstretches a hand to your surprise, “Yes.” When you accept it, your fingers tingle at his soft skin. Both of you draw yourselves back at the same time. “Bye, Detective.”
You wave at him, already retracting to leave to avoid further embarrassment. “Bye, Doctor.”
You can't help the giddy feeling in your chest as you walk back to your car. A few hours later, your phone screen flashes with an unknown number.
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cryptidghostgirl · 2 months
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Unexpected (Vox x Fox Demon!Reader)
Pairing: Vox x Reader
Description: Vox tries to make a deal with Y/n.
Warnings: Valentino is his own warning. Um, slightly explicit near the beginning? Nothing too bad. Cigarettes.
Word Count: 2,928
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A/N Considering the returns on my most recent poll, I figured I should get this slightly steamy little idea I've had for a while out there in the world.
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Vox had never been one to make deals with lesser demons, to take their souls. No, that was Valentino's thing. Vox didn't need to own a soul to get a demon to do what he wanted for one, and for another, Vox didn't particularly like people. He preferred to work alone, to be alone. Life was much more productive that way.
The other Vees were different. Vox allowed them in his life because they were useful, they solidified and expanded his power. Anyone else was just a waste of time and space.
Speaking of the other Vees, Vox right now was on his way to visit Valentino. At Velvette's request, he was aiming to talk to the man about whatever scene he'd instigated at a club the night before. It just happened to be his luck because of course it was his fucking luck that the only spare moment he had to deal with the situation was when Val was filming.
Vox burst through the studio doors, making a beeline for Valentino who sat in a director's chair before the set. He was well practiced at approaching his business partner while the man was working and averted his eyes, trying his best to keep focus on the task at hand.
"Val." he hummed in irritation as he came to a stop beside the moth demon's chair, "What did you do last night?"
Valentino blew out a puff of pink smoke, fixing his eyes on Vox.
"Whatever do you mean?"
The feigned innocence coming from this man was laughable. Vox rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, to reveal what Velvette had told him. By chance, just at that moment, he happened to look away.
It wasn't on purpose. There had been a sound from the set that had involuntarily grabbed Vox's attention. His eyes widened, his screen glitching with fury as he turned back to Valentino.
"What the fuck is that?" he asked pointing to the set.
There, in the middle of the bed was a demon. That was far from unusual, as was the demon's half dressed state. What was unusual was the fact that the demon had been dressed up to look exactly like Vox himself. Well, not exactly. The actor had a box over his head with a fake screen on the front. A cheap costume but one that was most certainly supposed to be him.
There was another demon beneath him, a short thing with with wide eyes and the large ears of a fennec fox. It was then that the sound that caught his attention registered with Vox. Trapped under the other actor's arms, his lips to her neck, she had moaned his name.
"Hmm?"
Val lazily threw his gaze to the stage before smiling.
"Just my newest project. Don't you worry."
"Val, I am definitely worried. I want you to cancel this, right now."
"Oh comon Voxy!" Valentino pleaded, "Think of all the money it would bring in! Half of Hell wants to get dicked down by you for Christ's sake."
Vox folded his arms over his chest, actively not looking at the pair who were still on stage. They had not stopped what they were doing for the sake of the overlord's conversation and Vox was so high strung that he nearly flinched at the sound of fabric tearing.
"Val."
His voice came out deep and mangled, as if his speakers were turned up way too loud. Vox's eye twitched slightly in irritation, his hands clenched into fists. Valentino just watched him for a moment before sighing. Waving his hand, he turned to the stage.
"That's a wrap everyone!" he called and Vox turned to watch at the whole crew of demons, including the pair of actors, turned to their boss, "We're trashing this script."
If anyone had complaints, they dared not voice them before the two overlords. Slowly, the crew began to pack up.
"Thank you." Vox reluctantly said to Val.
His eyes were fixed on the two actors, something that did not escape Valentino's notice as he waved the words of thanks off.
"You owe me one."
"Whatever."
The man had pulled himself from the bed by now and discarded the false head he'd been wearing. With a kindly smile, he held a hand out to the girl he'd been on top of just moments before. She sat up, leaning back on her arms. Vox watched her lips move and though he couldn't hear what she said over the clamor, he assumed it must've been a joke as the other demon laughed.
Gently, and with much more grace than Vox could have thought she was capable of, she took the demons hand and brought herself off the bed. Vox's breath caught in his throat because of course, of fucking course, Valentino had decided to dress her like that.
If Val was good at anything, it was guessing someone's kinks just by looking at them. A party trick but in practice, very useful for his line of work. The demon was dressed in blue and red lingerie, running like twisting wires over her limbs, pressing gently into her skin in just the right way. The remnants of a black dress, the source of the earlier sound of torn fabric no doubt, lay in the imprint of her body on the bed. Vox didn't care if it was predictable, she looked fucking hot.
With that specific breed of confidence that seems only to belong to pornstars, the pair began heading toward the door. Muffled, as if through water, Vox heard Valentino ask him something.
"Yeah." Vox absently replied, tearing his eyes away from the pair and meeting Valentino's gaze.
Val smirked up at him knowingly.
"You alright there Voxy?" he hummed, "Fox got your tongue?"
"I am not going to deign that with a response. If you ever pull shit like this agai-"
"Yeah yeah. Doll!"
Vox followed Val's shifted line of sight to see that the girl had stopped by the door which was being held open for her by her scene partner. She turned to face Val, suddenly taking on a much more demure demeanor than she had previously displayed. Hands clasped before her, she met her boss's eyes across the expanse of the room.
"Yes?" she called, her voice like music.
"Val." he warned under his breath for what felt like the umpteenth time.
Valentino, of course, ignored him, seeking his own entertainment and profit above all else.
"Come here for a second, would you?"
She nodded, saying something to the demon behind her over her shoulder. With a shrug, he left the room, letting the door fall shut behind him. Stepping carefully between the frantic workers, the girl made her way across the room to Vox and Val. She stopped before Val's chair, looking up at him through her lashes.
"What did you want to see me for, sir."
Her words were careful, perfectly annunciated.
"Back here in ten. You've got another job."
"Yes, Valentino." she replied, bowing her head just the slightest bit towards the man.
Val's wicked grin widened.
"Wear the white."
"Yes, Valentino."
It was like those were the only two words she knew. She treated the horrific man before her with the utmost respect, never once taking her eyes off of him.
"You may go."
Val waved her off with a lazy flick of his hand.
"Thank you, sir."
Another slight bow and the girl turned, her hair splaying out slightly at the ends from her sudden movement. As she made for the door once again, she shot a momentary glance at Vox. It was as if the world had stopped turning the second their eyes met. It felt like an eternity of him losing himself in their sticky softness. Then, she was gone.
Vox didn't understand what was happening. Sure, he had found people attractive before. He'd engaged in hookups, wasted time on the occasional relationship but nothing -- nothing -- had ever been like this. Every time he shut his eyes, there she was. Every spare second, his mind drifted to her. He found himself staring off into space, the image of that wry smile she had shot her costar as he had helped her off the bed burned into his memory.
The worst part was she was one of Val's girls and Val's girls were always trouble. The look they had shared, the scene she had been in, the way his name had sounded spilling from her soft lips, Vox knew it meant nothing to her. She had probably already forgotten it by now. The worst part was, it wasn't nothing to him. His muscles tensed at just the thought of the sound, at the idea of him being the one to actually make her beg for him rather than some cheap excuse for a facsimile. The worst part was, he didn't even know her name. In Val's gaze, she was just another body to profit off of. She was a doll, unworthy of any other title. The idea of someone seeing her so cheaply made him glitch because god, he had only met her once, but she was so much more than a toy. Vox was sure of it.
Wrapped in fantasy, he crafted an image of the girl. Vox imagined her patterns of being, what she must be like as a person -- so obedient but with that dry sense of humor he had attributed to her with no evidence save that she'd managed to make one person laugh in front of him one time. Vox never expected to see her again. He thought that the demon would be forever relegated to his dreams, to the recesses of his mind. He thought she'd be dead in a week, with Val's track record.
Vox pulled himself from his desk chair with a sigh. Three hours had passed and he just couldn't bring himself to be productive. She was a menace, a true vixen with those fox ears and tail to match. He would curse her very name for what she was doing to him if he knew what it was.
"Some fresh air. That's all I need." he said to the emptiness of his office, "Yeah."
The back doors of the Vee's building were seldom used, even by the people who worked there. Half the paparazzi didn't even know that they existed and so, he planned his escape. Of course it had to be his luck because it was always his goddamn luck these days wasn't it that the second he opened the door, it was to the smell of cigarette smoke and the image of a demon leaning against the building's brick exterior.
Vox let the door fall shut behind him with a heavy bang. The demon shot him a glance out of the corner of her eye, taking a long drag of her cigarette.
"Escaping?" she asked.
He hadn't wanted anyone to see him. More importantly, he hand't wanted to see anyone, let alone talk to him. Vox sighed, adjusting his sleeves as he turned to face the demon fully.
She looked up at him, squinting slightly against the sun. Vox's heart stuttered in his chest. She looked... different and it wasn't just because she was fully dressed this time. There was no doubt about it however, this was the demon from the studio just a few weeks before.
None of the playful joy or diligent respect from their last encounter remained in her features, she just looked tired. Black jeans and a leather jacket, hair pulled up and away from her face, not a speck of makeup to be seen besides the smudged remnants of mascara beneath her eyes.
"You... you're that... you're one of Val's..."
"Victims?" she chuckled ruefully, "Yeah. I am."
"You're the one from..."
"Last week? Yep. Sorry about that, by the way. If it's any consolation, it was uncomfortable for us too."
Vox was speechless, stunned, utterly taken aback and completely blindsided. The exact thing he was trying to escape, standing before him and utterly contrary to his every previously conjured image.
"Want a smoke?"
"Uh, no thanks. Don't smoke."
The girl shrugged.
"Mind if I do."
"No."
She took another long drag, watching the smoke she blew out as it hung blue in the air. She shot him a sidelong glance.
"You just gonna stand there?"
"You ask a lot of questions."
She laughed. Vox wasn't expecting her to do that.
"S'pose I do."
The idea of a walk had long left Vox's mind. He leaned against the wall across from her in the cramped ally, watching as she anxiously checked the time.
"Goddamn."
She lowered her arm, shaking the sleeve of her jacket back over the watch and looking wistfully out towards the exit of the ally.
"Val?"
"Val."
"You seem... you're different than I expected you to be."
"Thats your fault for having expectations."
She smiled at him like a shark watching prey and he nodded his head to the side in mild agreement.
"What's your name?"
Her smile fell, eyes widening slightly. One of her ears twitched and Vox could hear the sound of her tail shifting against the wall. The world felt so far away. Right now, there was nothing else in existence except for himself, the ally, and the fox before him.
"Vix..." she bowed theatrically after a moment, "is my porn name."
Her eyes shot up to his as she finished her phrase, the same confident and, he now realized, performative smile curling the edges of her lips.
"But my parents called me Y/n."
The demon straightened herself up, holding a hand out to Vox. He regarded it carefully for a moment before placing his hand in hers.
"Vox."
"I know."
Y/n took a final drag from her cigarette, stamping the butt out on the ground beneath the heavy heel of her boot.
"Well," she sighed with one last look to the shock of sky they could see between the buildings, "I best be going. Nice meeting you."
"Wait!"
Vox hadn't meant to say it, nor had he meant to frantically latch onto her arm. Y/n flinched slightly under the contact, stilling before the door and turning back to him, her brow furrowed.
"Why do you..." he cleared his throat, his cheeks flushing slightly pink, "How'd you end up... working... here."
Y/n laughed again. She had to admit, his flustered state was rather endearing, not at all what she had expected from one of the most feared overlords in all of Hell.
"For Val?" she asked and he nodded in response, "Same as every other wayward soul. He offered me something I couldn't refuse, and I was too naive to understand the price."
It took Vox a moment for her words to register with him, for her cryptic language to translate in his mind.
"He owns your soul?"
Y/n nodded once, all traces of amusement having fallen from her face.
"For what."
"Fame! Money! Riches!" she sarcastically called out with wild swings of her arms.
She stilled in her movements, a wry smile flashing across her face as she met his eyes again, her arms falling to her sides.
"Really?"
"Nah, I'm not that classy. I needed protection."
"From what?"
"Anything. I was new and I was afraid."
"And now you're trapped."
"Now I am trapped." Y/n concurred solemnly, "And I have to go."
"Do you want to go?"
Y/n thought for a moment before shaking her head.
"You're not what I expected you to be."
"Thanks?" Vox questioned after a moment, "I am not sure if you meant that as a compliment."
"Yeah."
It was a noncommittal answer and one that sent sparks of anxiety like shards of broken glass through him.
"I meant more so do you want to go to Val."
"Do I want to go get fucked by twenty guys or whatever he's gonna have me do? Of course fucking not. I don't really have a say in the matter so its not really important what I want."
"Of course it's important what you want."
Vox's mouth was moving a hundred times faster than his head. He couldn't seem to make it stop. Y/n's eyes went wide, she shook her head slightly as if ridding it of a thought.
"Maybe in another afterlife." she joked.
"What if... what if I could... fix this for you."
A pause, tense and full of longing. An intake of breath.
"What do you mean?"
"If you make a contract with another demon, Val's would be void."
"Another demon like you."
"Yes."
"I..."
She trailed off, looking up at him with wide eyes. Her tail wagged once happily behind her before all traces of hope were swallowed once again by the utter desolation.
"I dug my grave, Vox."
"But you don't have to lie in it."
He was practically begging her, his hand on her arm again. He couldn't recall when he had placed it there after her wild movements earlier in detailing her deal had thrown it from her. She looked down, examining the place where flesh made contact with leather. Y/n's eyes met his again, she shook him off.
"One deal is bad enough. Trading chains for chains doesn't change anything."
"But it could."
"Look, Vox. I have to go."
Y/n turned her back on him and opened the door. She hesitated for a moment, leaning on it's edge.
"It was nice to meet you."
Vox watched as she disappeared, the door slamming behind her.
----
A/N It doesn't matter if you guys want a part two or not because there will be one.
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Autistic Spencer Reid
Happy Autism Acceptance Month, everyone! By request, my wonderful friends and I have taken on the daunting task of documenting the reasons why Spencer Reid is considered Autistic. Big thank you to you @spencer-reids-adventures and @foxy-eva specifically for their help. We hope everyone enjoys! This is not an exhaustive list.
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Stimming/Self-Stimulatory behavior, including rocking/spinning in his chair, twiddling with his fingers, gripping sheets, bouncing his legs, biting his lip/tongue, rubbing his eyes, spinning pens, pacing (e.g., S6E12 "Corazon")
Averse to touch, dislikes hugs (S7E13 "Snake Eyes" & S11E11 "Entropy")
Explains multiple attempts at masking, including "being more conversational," (S2E19 "Ashes and Dust"), scripting conversation (S15E4 "Saturdays"), saying what people want to hear (S6E20 "Hanley Waters")
Verbosity - Difficulty recognizing when he's talking too much/speaking at inappropriate times (e.g., S1E16 "The Tribe" & S10E16 "Lockdown")
Began studying behavioral science to understand behavior that made him frustrated/confused (S11E22 "The Storm")
Averse to hosting/hanging out in his space; didn't invite his friends to his apartment for over 15 years (S15E9 "Face Off")
The only team member capable of proficient communication with other Autistic people (S6E16 "Coda" & S11E22 "The Storm")
He is referred to as Autistic by multiple characters, including a literal profiler, and does not deny or question it (S1E5 "Broken Mirror" & S8E3 "Through the Looking Glass")
Lack of social awareness, such as focusing on a convention while at a workplace shooter crime scene (S7E3 "Dorado Falls")
Various special interests, like Doctor Who (S6E16 "Coda" & S7E23 "Hit")
Literal thinking, such as focusing on scientific accuracy of a star-based fable (S5E13 "Risky Business")
Difficulty recognizing common phrases, such as the "sitting in a tree" song (S3E14 "Damaged") or jokes (S7E9 "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" & S1E8 "Natural Born Killer")
Makes inappropriate references, such as to Derek's playboy behavior (S1E18 "Somebody's Watching") and Rossi's age (S7E13 "Snake Eyes")
Coordination/Spatial deficits (S1E17 "A Real Rain" & S8E6 "The Apprenticeship")
Hyperfocuses on a task to the point he doesn't notice his surroundings (S5E20 "A Thousand Words")
Unusual/hyper-specific pedantic language (S3E6 "Remembrance of Things Past")
Resistance to change, manifested as a luddite dislike of technology (S6E7 "Middle Man" & S8E4 "God Complex") and struggling with Gideon's death (S10E14 "Hero Worship")
He receives (apparent disability) accommodations to be in the field (S6E10 "What Happens At Home...")
Introverted, difficulty sharing emotions, even with his closest friends (S10E13 "Nelson's Sparrow")
Heavily bullied as a child (S3E16 "Elephant's Memory")
Difficulty making friends (S2E1 "The Fisher King Part 2")
Trouble with eye contact, which persists throughout the series
His mother is schizophrenic, which has a strong genetic link to Autism
Dislikes small talk (S8E3 “Through the Looking Glass”)
Enjoys memorizing lists (S7E11, “True Genius”)
Savant skills - eidetic memory and hyperlexia
Matthew Gray Gubler has also explained that, regardless of the canonical confirmation, he views and portrayed Spencer Reid as Autistic. Specifically, he stated:
"He's an eccentric genius, with hints of schizophrenia and minor autism, Asperger's syndrome. Reid is 24, 25 years old with three Ph.D.'s and one can't usually achieve that without some form of autism." (Note: Asperger's is an outdated term with Nazi origins, which is now referred to as a part of "Autism Spectrum Disorder" by most countries)
DISCLAIMER: I am Autistic, as diagnosed when I was a toddler. These thoughts are my own and shared for fun. If you disagree, please make your own post about it rather than posting them here. This was a labor of love for fans like me and those who love Autistic people and the characters like us. Thank you for respecting and understanding my boundaries!
Looking for more to read? Check out my Autistic headcanon posts for Penelope and Hotch!
Thank you everyone! 🌈♾️❤️
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cegantheayugipi · 1 year
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The Last Padisarah Pudding, Part 3
An Alhaitham Enemies to Lovers Smut Oneshot
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Link to artist
Summary: You never realized an innocent date with your best friend would set off your rival like this... He never seemed like the jealous type -- until he cornered you in the kitchen, demanding to know the nature of your friendship...
Word Count: 9.4k
Part 1
Part 2 (smut)
MINORS DNI!!! BIG SMUT BELOW THE CUT!!
Tags include: Hate sex, competitive sex, aggressive sex, hair pulling, choking, biting, orgasm denial, power dynamics, spanking, I'm so sorry I'm forgetting more but the list is just too long
You dipped your spoon into the bowl of unusually colored Padisarah Pudding in front of you, taking a bite of your favorite desert and smiling from the familiar flavors.
“Your cooking is delicious as always, Nilou!” You spoke to the redhead seated across the table. The two of you were sitting at one of the small wooden picnic tables inside the Grand Bazaar, not far from the Zubayr Theater where Nilou worked.
The dancer merely laughed, “I’m just glad we have time to enjoy it together. It’s been a while since we’ve last met.”
“That’s true, it really has been a while.” You nodded, realizing you had been incredibly busy since you graduated… At least, until the chemical “incident” that had led to your house being deemed temporarily uninhabitable by Amurta Scholars. Now that your schedule was relatively clear, you had time to hang out with your friend – your best friend, in fact. You and Nilou had known each other since you were little. Once upon a time, you wanted to be a dancer like her too… but your thirst for knowledge eventually outweighed your love for dance, and you ended up choosing the other side of Sumerian society – the one that sadly disapproved of your favorite hobby.
Despite the cultural rift that separated your young adult years from Nilou’s, you still made a consistent effort to spend time with her. During your years at the Akademiya, you enjoyed coming down to the Bazaar and dancing at the theater with your best friend. It was a wonderful way to de-stress.
“Hmm…” you trailed off as you reminisced.
“Are you lost in thought again, Y/N?” Nilou asked, resting her chin on both hands as she smiled at you.
“Ah, yeah, I was just thinking about the times we used to dance together.” You responded, your tone carrying a hint of nostalgia.
“Well, the stage is available for the next couple of hours, and I have a spare outfit you can use. Why not try a dance after we’re done with the pudding?”
“That actually sounds like a wonderful idea…” You grinned. “But speaking of pudding, do you have any extras I can take with me? After all, you invented the red Padisarah Pudding, and it doesn’t quite taste the same when I try to recreate it at home.”
“Of course! Whenever we meet, I always make sure to bring extras of your favorite dessert.” Nilou nodded.
When the two of you were finished with your desserts, you stood up from the table and dusted off your clothes.
“Actually, some dancing is exactly what I need. I should really make an effort to exercise if I keep eating so much pudding, otherwise it’ll just go to my waistline.” You joked, laughing.
“Oh, shut it! You’ve always had a beautiful figure. Don’t worry about things like that.” Nilou shook her head as she stood up with you, reaching out to give you a hug. “You’re beautiful, Y/N.”
You blushed at Nilou’s overt compliment. “You’re too sweet, Nilou.”
The redhead withdrew from the hug, reaching up one hand to caress your cheek.
“It’s only true.” She smiled, “Now, let’s get going.”
The redhead outstretched a hand to you, and you took it as a smile broke across your face. The two of you began to walk towards Zubayr Theater together.
Meanwhile, standing beside a vendor selling textiles, a blonde head of hair tracked the two of you as you walked away holding hands.
“Sir, did you still want the broadcloth?” The vendor asked, wondering why the blonde seemed so distracted.
“Uhm, yes.” Kaveh responded, shaking his head. “I’ll take swatches in all the colors you have.”
He was still very distracted, having been thoroughly confused by what he just witnessed. Nilou and you had just hugged, then she touched your face, then the two of you walked away holding hands… Kaveh’s eyes widened as he had a brutal realization.
‘Is she… in a relationship?’
~~~
Kaveh slammed the front door to Alhaitham’s house shut behind himself, kicking off his shoes in the entryway before stalking over to the living room table and tossing down the fabric swatches he had just bought. He ran a hand through his hair, brushing back his messy blonde bangs.
“Always making a grand entrance whenever you come home.” Alhaitham sighed, flipping to the next page of the book he was reading.
“Wh-” Kaveh spun around as he realized Alhaitham had been sitting on one of the couches this entire time, his nose buried in yet another book. “And you’re always secluding yourself away like a lone wolf, preferring to spend your time reading rather than talking to anyone.”
“Is there a problem with that?” Alhaitham responded, his eyes still locked onto the page as his gaze scanned across the lines of small letters.
“Maybe if you got up and talked to people for once, you’d find out more about Y/N too.” Kaveh sighed.
“What about her?” Alhaitham shrugged. “I spoke to her just this morning. Still stubborn and indignant, as she has been for the past week she has stayed here.”
“Did you ever stop to think it could be because we fucked her while she’s in a relationship?” Kaveh spat bluntly, his voice wavering from the intense anger and panic he felt about this situation.
Alhaitham looked up from his book. This surprised Kaveh – he had never seen Alhaitham so readily stop reading like that. The scribe gave him a perplexing look… confusion, mixed with… panic?
“What?” Alhaitham muttered.
“I saw her on a date. With that dancer at the Zubayr theater. On a date, Alhaitham!” Kaveh exclaimed.
“With who? Nilou?”
“The redhead who’s always famous for her dancing, Alhaitham.” Kaveh’s description confirmed Alhaitham’s suspicion.
“There’s no way. She never gave me any hint that she was-” Alhaitham cut himself off, his eyes moving from side to side as he thought. “Where did you see them?”
“The Grand Bazaar.” Kaveh responded flatly.
Alhaitham closed his book with one hand, the cover snapping shut with force. He abruptly stood up from the couch, tossing the book onto the living room table before walking directly towards the front door.
“Who’s being dramatic now?” Kaveh scoffed, but Alhaitham was too busy running through all of his memories looking for any hint of an answer to the question.
Were you already in a relationship?
~~~
“Wow, Nilou, this outfit is gorgeous! It looks just like yours, except the color is different.” You smiled, twirling in the mirror.
“I thought it’d suit you! That’s why I kept it around even though it doesn’t quite fit right anymore.” Nilou responded, fixing the headdress and her bangs in a vanity on the other side of the dressing room. She looked up for a second, only to see something peculiar on the back of your neck.
“Y/N, are you bruised?” Nilou questioned, getting up from her seat at the vanity and walking towards you.
“A-ah,” You blushed, your hand immediately going up to the dark purple mark that stood out now that your hair was out of the way. “Well, about that…”
Nilou let out a gasp.
“Did my dearest innocent Y/N finally get intimate with someone?”
“U-uhm, yeah…”
“And you didn’t tell me about it earlier?” Nilou questioned, far more excited than offended you had withheld this information from her. She hugged you from behind, snaking her arms around your waist. “Who was it with? Is it someone I know?”
You suddenly felt extremely shy.
“It was two people…” Your voice fell to a soft murmur.
Nilou let out another gasp, her eyes going wide.
“And one of them was Alhaitham.”
“The CLASSMATE YOU HATED?!” Nilou practically screamed. “I remember when all you would do when we hung out was rant about how much you hated him! Oh, to think how the tides have turned! I’m so happy for you!” Nilou swayed on her feet. 
“I still hate him.” You grumbled. “Smug bastard.”
“Huh? You still hate him, even though you…” Nilou trailed off, tilting her head to the side with confusion.
“Forget about it, let’s just dance!” You changed the subject, twirling on your feet and watching the fabric flare around your body.
“Alright, alright, let’s go!” Nilou nodded, understanding it was something you’d rather not talk about.
~~~
Alhaitham pushed his way through the crowds at the Grand Bazaar. He hated the busy underground market, and never came here unless he absolutely had to.
And after hearing what Kaveh had said, he really had to.
The crowd of people grew thicker and thicker as he made his way towards the center of the Bazaar, where Zubayr Theater stood. Alhaitham wondered why there would be so many people standing in place, but that was until he looked at the main stage and promptly froze in shock.
There you twirled elegantly, almost professionally, stepping in time alongside Nilou. Alhaitham couldn’t even get started on what you were wearing. He had never seen you in clothing like this, something that hugged your figure and suited you so perfectly. The fabric swayed with the tantalizing way you moved. 
Alhaitham found himself enthralled by your dance. He normally never enjoyed things like this, preferring something far more interesting like a new book. Perhaps it was because it was incredibly rare to see you so at peace, so truly happy out on the stage.
For a moment, Alhaitham doubted everything he had ever known about you. If he hadn’t spent six years at the Akademiya and his early professional career butting heads with you, he would have assumed you had only ever been a dancer.
And the way you moved in sync with Nilou…
A hand trailed over your bare stomach, Nilou’s arms moving gracefully and delicately over your body as the two of you danced. After another spin, you did the same to Nilou, and Alhaitham seethed inwardly as he saw a smile grow across the redhead’s face.
Alhaitham realized Kaveh was exactly right to say what he said. The way you moved in perfect sync with the Nilou, your bodies coming within inches of each other during certain moves, it made the dance seem almost intimate.
You and Nilou finished the dance with a twirl, coming to a rest side-by-side, one arm wrapped around each other’s waist while the other waved at the huge crowd that had gathered around the stage.
The sea of people roared, cheering and clapping for the two dancers. Alhaitham saw you let out a laugh that he couldn’t hear since the crowd was far too loud. You turned to Nilou with a flushed face and spoke something, and she nodded in response. The two of you began to walk to different parts of the stage; it seemed like you were beginning another dance.
Suddenly, Alhaitham couldn’t bear to watch anymore – he turned around and stormed away, his head now filled with far too many thoughts that he didn’t want to think.
~~~
You hummed to yourself as you walked into Alhaitham’s kitchen, carefully putting away the Padisarah Pudding that Nilou had sent home with you. It was hard not to eat it all immediately – Nilou’s specialty was your favorite food, and you truly believed you’d never get sick of eating it.
First, however, you really wanted a bath. It had been a long day for you, and you were looking forward to a luxurious soak in the guest bedroom’s ensuite bath. After all, you only had two days left before Amurta scholars would perform their inspection of your old apartment to deem it habitable once again, so you felt the need to make the most of Alhaitham’s luxurious house.
You turned around to leave the kitchen when a hand came out of nowhere, landing on the cabinet beside your head with a loud bang.
You nearly jumped at the noise – looking up, you realized it came from a glowering Alhaitham.
“What are you wearing?” Alhaitham stared down at you.
“It’s a dancing outfit, why are you even asking?” You grumbled. “Have you never seen one before?”
‘Not one on you.’
Alhaitham held back his words, despite wanting so badly to say that you shouldn’t be allowed to wear something so… provocative in public. So, instead, Alhaitham decided to cut to the chase.
“What are you and Nilou to each other?” Alhaitham questioned, narrowing his eyes.
You blinked.
Well, Alhaitham was certainly getting straight to the point.
“Excuse me…?” You muttered, baffled. What on earth was he talking about?
“It’s a simple question.” Alhaitham leaned closer to you, his eyes scrutinizing the look on your face. “I saw the two of you dancing at the Grand Bazaar. What is Nilou to you?”
You scoffed as you realized what he was concerned about.
“What are you, jealous?” You smirked. ”I thought you hated the Grand Bazaar. Why were you even there?”
“Just answer my question.” Alhaitham narrowed his eyes at you, his expression growing more and more frustrated.
“Hah.” Alhaitham’s insistence confirmed it. “I’m not surprised you’re jealous of Nilou, you’re just a feeble scholar after all.”
Alhaitham seethed inwardly as he leaned in closer to your face, his eyes narrowing.
“It’s a simple question.” He spoke. All he wanted was an answer from you, so he would have to ignore your childish teasing until he got one.
“She’s my best friend, you ASSHAT!” Your voice rose into a shout.
“Then why have I never seen you two together before?” Alhaitham questioned.
“You would have if you ever bothered to visit the Bazaar.” You scoffed. “But you’re too busy acting like Academics are superior to anything else in Sumeru, with your stupid superiority complex that makes you feel like you have to run laps around your own professors to have any sense of achievement.”
“As if you aren’t the same.”
“That’s because I’m NOT!” You spat, your lips forming a bitter frown. “I used to be a dancer before I joined the Akademiya… but you’d never understand that side of Sumerian Culture.”
“Dancing is a pointless waste of time. You were far better off in the Akademiya.” Alhaitham spoke sharply.
Your eyes went wide.
“Fuck you, Alhaitham.”
The scribe didn’t realize how hurtful his words truly were to you… he was simply glad you chose to become a scholar because otherwise, he would have never met you in the first place.
“So you and Nilou really are nothing more than friends?” Alhaitham pressed further, only deepening your wound.
“Is that all you fucking care about? Asshole.” You averted your gaze from the scribe that towered over you, slipping out from where he had nearly sandwiched you against the wall.
You were done with the conversation. You were going back to the guest bedroom to take a bath like you had been planning to do after a long day in the city. 
“Wait,” Alhaitham followed after you, completely disregarding the way you made it very obvious that you no longer wanted to speak to him.
“You really never know when to stop.” You scoffed, spinning around and stalking towards him until you were face-to-face again. “Why do you feel the need to hear that Nilou and I were only ever friends? Are you really that jealous?”
“I want to make sure I didn’t force you to cheat.” Alhaitham spoke flatly, his tone unusually bland as he was finally forced to voice the worry that had been plaguing him for the whole day.
“Oooooh you SELFISH BASTARD!” You roared. “Do you really think you made me do all of that with you and Kaveh? I can make choices too! I’m not some child or some idiot you can just manipulate to feed your selfish desires, no matter how much you wish that was the case!”
As you shouted, you placed a palm flat on Alhaitham’s chest, pushing him backwards until his back collided with the wall beside a doorway.
Alhaitham was speechless at your sudden shove, having never seen you act in such a way. This time, he had his back against the wall, and you were leaning far too close to him. He could see the rage in your eyes, the indignation his questioning had caused you…
Your hands suddenly reached up, raking through his hair before pulling his head down to crash your lips into his. Alhaitham’s arms moved on impulse, slipping around your waist and pulling your body closer to his.
The kiss was aggressive, hungry, your teeth tearing at his lips. Alhaitham’s hands began to travel down your waist, his hands roaming over your body and savoring its supple curves. 
Your hands dropped from his head and pushed against his shoulders as you broke from the kiss, leaning away from him. There was still a fire in your eyes despite your swollen cheeks and flushed face.
Alhaitham was stunned as one of your hands flew up to strike him across his face.
“Fuck you.” You spat, and despite the harsh hit he had just received, Alhaitham immediately began to smirk.
“Only if you insist.”
You let out a guttural moan that could be described as something close to a growl… Your hand reached up to grab the collar of Alhaitham’s shirt, pulling him forwards so your lips could collide again.
This time, your hand snaked down the front of his torso, going for the growing bulge in his pants. You smirked as you palmed it, eliciting a groan from the Scholar.
“Only a little kissing, and you’re already this hard?” You sneered.
With something halfway between a scoff and a laugh, Alhaitham’s hands slid under the curve of your ass to grip your upper thighs.
“Jump.” He ordered, his voice cold.
You were about to argue back at him, but Alhaitham didn’t seem to care whether you jumped or not – with strength alone he lifted you off your feet, bringing your legs up to hook around his torso and give himself better access to you.
The scribe spun around to put your back against the wall this time, rolling his hips and pressing his stiff length against the clothing that hid your drooling pussy. A breathy gasp escaped your lips, and Alhaitham broke the kiss to lean back and stare into your half-lidded eyes.
“Who’s the one getting turned on now?” He smirked.
“Bastard-” You grumbled, but Alhaitham quickly cut you off by smothering your mouth with his. It felt like you were fighting against his lips, the way they seemed to devour you. His hips continued to roll, spreading pleasure like a wildfire through your body as his erection pressed near-painfully into you. You wrapped your legs around his torso tighter, your thighs squeezing his waist as he held you against the wall.
“Mmmh!” You moaned into the kiss, your eyes squeezing shut as Alhaitham ground into you again. Alhaitham used your temporary weakness to rudely invade your mouth with his tongue.
You tried your best to withhold the moan that threatened to escape as Alhaitham’s tongue swirled around yours. It felt so good – but that fact alone made you angry.
You groaned, deciding to bite down on Alhaitham’s tongue. However, he seemed to sense this coming as he withdrew from the kiss, a string of saliva hanging between the two of you.
“Hah.” You scoffed. “Are you getting off to the fact that Kaveh is home and could walk in at any moment?”
“You’re assuming that I care.” Alhaitham responded with a smirk, dipping his head down to latch his lips onto the tender skin of your neck.
“Disgusting bas- haaah-” You groaned as he bit down and sucked at your sensitive skin, the pain only adding to the growing pool of wetness in your pants. Alhaitham moved to a different spot, continuing to litter your skin with marks. As he attacked your neck with his mouth, the pain became sharper and sharper. You realized he was breaking your skin with his teeth as you let out an airy moan.
Your hands went up to the back of his head, grabbing onto his hair in order to stop him from ruining your skin any more. It took a lot of strength, but you managed to pull him away from you. Alhaitham seemed to let out a low growl as you interrupted him. 
“Stop it! Do you even care that you’re gonna leave marks?” You shouted, pulling on his hair even harder – to the point where you were beginning to pull out his hair.
“Stop pulling on me.” Alhaitham grumbled.
“No, fuck you!” You squirmed, grinding your crotch down on Alhaitham, making him grunt from the sudden stimulation.
“Let go.” Alhaitham ordered, his eyes squinting from the pain you were causing him by pulling at his hair. One of his hands shifted from under your thighs to wrap around your neck, giving the slender column of your airway a warning squeeze as he rolled his hips into you again.
With a groan, you finally let go of Alhaitham’s hair… leaving strands of gray in your hands.
You didn’t care as you tipped your head forward to mash your lips into his. You grunted, turning your head to attack at a different angle. You bit at Alhaitham’s lips, growing more and more aggressive after everything Alhaitham had done to you.
The scribe stepped away from the wall, both hands planted firmly on your ass as he began to carry you. He walked through the doorway beside the two of you, neither of you breaking the passionate kiss as you moved. As Alhaitham walked into the room, he threw his cloak onto the floor – he wouldn’t be needing it, anyway.
Alhaitham came to a stop. He suddenly pulled his head back, throwing you down. You let out a yelp as you fell backward. For a split-second you truly believed you were being thrown onto the floor. However, as extremely soft blankets stopped your fall, you realized Alhaitham had thrown you down on a bed – his bed.
“Fuck you, Alhaitham!” You reached up to smooth your hair back. Only then did you realize your hands were covered with silver strands of Alhaitham’s hair, and the scribe stared at this with ire.
“Were you trying to make me go bald?” Alhaitham questioned angrily, reaching one hand up to feel the back of his head.
“Yeah, your hair is ugly.” You joked.
Alhaitham narrowed his eyes.
“Well, you’d look far better without those clothes.” Alhaitham immediately responded.
“Hah. Did you just compliment me?”
Alhaitham replied by hooking his slender fingers around the waistband of your skirt. He gave a harsh tug, reducing the beautiful fabric of Nilou’s skirt to shreds.
“HEY!” Your voice rose into a shout. “These clothes are borrowed!”
“You ripped out my hair, so it’s only fair that I get to return the favor.” Alhaitham sneered. He reached one hand down to your underwear, pausing as he felt your soaked underwear. Pressing two fingers into the wet fabric, he forced a moan from your lips.
“Ngh, asshole!”
“Hah.” Alhaitham smirked. “You’re so wet it’s almost pitiful. Do these kinds of discussions turn you on this much?”
“I wouldn’t call them discussions. And you’re one to talk when your dick is trying to escape your pants.”
You reached down and gripped Alhaitham’s shaft tightly, your fingers digging into the fabric of his pants.
“Hah.” Alhaitham grunted as he tried to ignore the pleasure shooting up his stomach. He hooked his fingers around the hem of his shirt before pulling it over his head, discarding the piece of clothing on the floor behind him. He climbed onto the bed on top of you, planting his hands on the mattress beside both of your shoulders and caging you between his arms.
Alhaitham dipped his head down for a passionate and aggressive kiss. Your teeth knocked together, tearing at each others’ lips, vying for dominance. The scribe reached down and roughly grabbed the wrist of your hand that was on his crotch, bringing your arm up beside your head and pinning it in place. He ground into you again, this time with very little clothing between the two of you.
You moaned, but you weren’t going to break the kiss – and neither was he.
It was a competition now.
You squirmed in response, pushing your hips up to roughly counter his action. It elicited a grunt from him, but he still didn’t break the kiss. You bit down on his lips hard – hard enough to taste the metallic blood that you had drawn.
Alhaitham grunted at the pain, and you felt his dick twitch against your inner thigh. You smirked into the kiss as he silently cursed you. 
As retribution, Alhaitham’s free hand roamed down your torso. His fingers trailed over your bare stomach, hooking around the waistband of your panties, ripping them clean from your body with a single pull.
“Mmmh!” Your exclamation was muffled by Alhaitham’s lips. The sudden sensation of cool air directly on your wet heat made you press your thighs together, but they were stopped by Alhaitham’s hips which were still hovering right in front of your aching pussy. You wanted nothing more than to fall fully into this incredible sensation, 
The scribe quickly freed his aching cock without you noticing – at least, not until he pressed his leaking tip against your entrance.
You froze for a moment, the sudden friction of bare skin against bare skin sending pleasure shooting through your body.
“Hahh.” Alhaitham finally broke the kiss, but you were too turned on to feel any sense of victory.
The scribe looked down at you, reveling in your pleasure-ridden expression and the way you squirmed beneath him.
“I wish you could see yourself right now.” He smirked, making you seethe with anger.
“Why you- haah!” Your eyes rolled back in your head as Alhaitham pressed himself into you, stretching you with his ridiculous girth. “Stop it- Fuck!”
You tried to kick your legs out to push him away. Alhaitham pulled his hips back slightly, seeming like he was complying with you, but only pushed forwards again moments later. Your mouth fell open as you felt his tip rub against your sensitive walls, and Alhaitham reveled in the way you fell apart beneath him.
“Ahn- haaah~ Fuck yo-” You went completely silent as he bottomed out inside of you, your face contorting with pleasure.
“When will you learn,” Alhaitham spoke as he slowly withdrew from you, “That you can’t win,” Alhaitham thrust his hips forwards, “against me.” He came to a stop, fully sheathed inside of you again.
“Aahhhnn~” Your back arched as you felt him invade your painfully sensitive pussy once more. Your legs twitched, and for a moment you couldn’t control your body anymore.
The pleasure made you forget all the anger you had harbored towards him; it was pitiful how easily you came undone. Alhaitham began to roll his hips, the slow prodding against your tender walls making you lose your sense of self.
His movements grew faster and larger; a squelching noise began to fill the room as he pushed in and out of you.
“Aaah stop it you bas- nngh!” Your words quickly became garbled from the pleasure Alhaitham was giving you. He rolled his hips into you harder, pressing himself against the plush of your ass, the tip of his swollen cock reaching even further inside of you.
“Why couldn’t you have been this easy in the Akademiya?” Alhaitham’s condescending tone grated against your ears, making your eyes go wide with shock. You snapped out of your pleasure-filled haze, suddenly enraged once again.
“How DARE YOU!” Your hands shot up to his chest, pushing against the scribe. Your irascibility only made Alhaihtam more smug, and it infuriated you. Gritting your teeth, you tried your hardest to push Alhaitham off of you – he was just too heavy, and your legs were just too weak with him still fucking into you.
So, instead, you reached your hands down and pinched one nipple – hard.
“Haah- fuck!” Alhaitham groaned, his hips stuttering, overwhelmed by the sudden jolt of pleasure you gave him.
“Oh?” You murmured, pinching harder. A fierce blush grew across Alhaitham’s face.
“S-stop that.” He grunted, his movements coming to a standstill.
“Oh, so now we’re allowed to say stop?” You retorted.
Twisting your body, you used all of your core and leg strength to flip Alhaitham over. He groaned as you forced him to pull out of you, kicking his hips over and forcing him to roll onto his side on the mattress.
You practically pounced onto him, straddling his waist as you bent down and latched your lips around one of his nipples. You pinched the other with one hand, rolling it between your thumb and forefinger. Alhaitham squeezed his eyes shut and groaned, making you laugh while you swirled your tongue around one nipple.
“Look at you, power tripping over the smallest of advantages- haah!”
You bit down on his nipple, eliciting a pained gasp from the scribe. Alhaitham hated the fact that he enjoyed this – reaching up, he grabbed you by your hair and yanked your face away from his sensitive chest.
“Advantage?” You scoffed, your neck straining against Alhaitham’s grip. “I’m pretty sure you’re enjoying this.”
“I have to admit, after all our -hnng- years at the Akademiya, you’re just as -fuck!- insufferable as ever.” Alhaitham groaned, tilting his head back and letting go of your hair as you ground down on his painfully hard dick.
“You’re one to talk.” You spoke. “You were the worst classmate I’ve ever had.” Your voice dripped with spite as you rolled your hips again, drawing another groan from Alhaitham.
“How could I be the worst classmate when I was always the best in the class?” Alhaitham retorted, pushing his hips up into you, grinding his length against your swollen folds.
“I could give you a comprehensive list.” You quickly responded, twisting his nipple – hard. You leaned down, biting and sucking at the soft skin of his chest. You wanted to leave marks bad enough to be seen through his ridiculous sheer skin-tight shirt.
“H-gah-ahh-” Alhaitham’s movements stuttered, far too sensitive to be treated this way. “Fuck, Y/N, what are you -hah- doing to me…”
“Payback.” You lifted your head up from his chest to respond as you shifted your hips. Lining your entrance up with the head of his aching cock, you pushed yourself down and forced him inside you.
“Archons- oh fuck-” Alhaitham groaned as he felt himself penetrate you. You knew he was anything but a pious man, so to hear him call out to the Gods reassured you that you were doing something right. Alhaitham began to erratically move his hips as he tried to get any motion he could, only to cry out at a completely new sensation.
Your hand reached behind yourself to snake down between Alhaitham’s legs. Your slender fingers wrapped around his swollen balls, squeezing them hard enough to teeter on the boundary between pleasure and pain.
“Don’t even think about trying to take over.” You snapped, grinding your hips down as you dug your nails into his ever-so-sensitive skin.
“Fuck- Y/N, s-stop!” Alhaitham’s hands flew down to your hips. He held onto your plush skin with an iron grip, trying his best to hold you still, though you could feel his hands slightly trembling as he held you.
“Make me.” You sneered, squeezing his balls tighter.
With something halfway between a growl and a groan, Alhaitham bucked his hips hard. He threw you off of him and made you land on your back on the soft mattress. Before you had time to react he pinned you down, using one arm to hold both of your hands above your head and the other to hold one of your legs.
He pushed your knee against your chest as you squirmed, hating the way he so easily restrained you. However, you couldn’t help but feel turned on by the helpless feeling you had as he forced his cock into you once again.
You let out a pitiful moan as Alhaitham pounded into you, this time too angry, fed up, turned on to give you the mercy of holding back. The slapping sounds grew louder and louder as your aching pussy drooled from the penetration, sweat building on your skin from the vigorous sex.
“Why can’t you just shut that pretty mouth of yours,” Alhaitham grunted, thrusting into you, “and let me make you feel good?”
“Fucking bastard-” You groaned, his smug words infuriating you.
“Or is it that you prefer pain?” Alhaitham began to pick up his pace – his hips rammed into the plush of your ass harder and harder, until it became painful. Alhaitham’s abdomen strained as he forced himself into you over and over again, his cock splitting your walls apart as the thrusting of his hips made your entire body jolt in the bed.
“Ah! Ow- Fuck- fuck- it hurts, you asshole, it HURTS!” You cried, knowing your ass would certainly be bruised after this.
“I don’t think you deserve to complain after the stunt you just pulled.” Alhaitham spat, his breathing labored from how vigorously he was fucking you.
“F-Fuck you!” You screamed, winding your one free leg back and kicking him in the face with what little strength you had left.
Alhaitham recoiled, stunned by the blow to his face. The scribe let go of your body, withdrawing from your abused pussy. He looked down at you with an expression you had never seen before…
Was it… Anger?
“Remember that you fucking asked for this.”
Alhaitham moved fast, nearly pouncing on you as he pinned both your legs against your chest. He entered you again, this time with your body even more restricted, not allowing your legs any movement at all as he immediately began his previous pace.
At this angle, somehow, your pleasure felt even more amplified than before. Your eyes rolled back in your head as Alhaitham relentlessly pounded into you. The squelching sounds of his cock invading your drenched pussy, the way he stretched you so perfectly, the bullying of his tip deep within your walls drove you mad with pleasure.
“Nggh!- haah- oh fuck~” The snap of his hips against your already-bruising ass drove you mad with a disgusting mixture of pleasure and pain.
“It's so much better when you’re reduced to unintelligible noises.” Alhaitham grunted.
“Fucking… ass… Haah~”  You whined, but you weren’t able to do much more as your mouth hung open. Alhaitham savored the way your expression seemed vacuous, proof that he and he alone had successfully fucked you dumb.
Alhaitham slowed his thrusts almost completely, determined to torture and tease you until you were reduced to nothing. His length slid in and out of you slowly, and he could feel your swollen walls twitch and constrict from the sudden loss of friction.
However, Alhaitham wasn’t prepared for what you did next. He expected you to beg, to go insane, to promise to do anything just to come around his cock. The last thing he could ever foresee happening was for your face to return to normal, a devilish smirk growing across your lips.
“Fuck you.”
You spat out those words as you twisted your torso, one hand snaking around his back. Your legs shifted to wrap around Alhaitham’s torso as your fingers slipped into the cleft of his ass, making sure he was stuck there as you invaded his tight asshole.
“What are you- HEY!” Alhaitham exclaimed, prepared to force you away from him again, but completely caught off guard by the new sensation he felt.
“Wha- ngh! Ahn-” He groaned. You reveled in the way his face suddenly contorted with pleasure, making sure to ingrain this expression in your memory forever. Your smirk turned into a wicked grin as you pressed your forefinger further into his virgin ass.
The pleasure was foreign, but it was so intense that Alhaitham lost control of his limbs temporarily. He fell on top of you and you took this chance to wrap your legs around his torso, holding him in place as you began to pump the finger in and out of him.
“Haah- Y/N, wh-what is this-”
You cut Alhaitham off with another aggressive kiss, biting at his swollen and bloody lips as you drove him crazy with one single finger.
You could hear Alhaitham’s breathing become erratic as you continued, the scribe still unable to move due to the sheer volume of overstimulation. To make sure you truly drove him mad with pleasure, you added a second finger, probing further into his ass as you pumped in and out of him.
“Aahn~” Alhaitham broke from the kiss, his composure completely dissolving as he let out a whine. You’ve never seen him reduced to such a blubbering mess, and you made sure his whimpering and moaning would be etched into your memory permanently.
Alhaitham couldn’t hold up his head any longer – he rested his forehead in the crook of your neck, his shoulders shaking as he failed to prop himself up on his arms. You felt the full weight of Alhaitham’s body as he came undone from two fingers alone.
“No- fuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!” You heard his voice crack while blubbering the mantra of curses as dick twitched and throbbed red-hot inside of you. You could feel his tight hole constrict around your fingers, making you pump into him harder as he whined. Your eyes went wide as you felt something warm spread across your walls. You withdrew both of your fingers from him, suddenly irate.
Alhaitham just came inside of you.
“Are you so incompetent that you just came inside of me?” You questioned, grabbing Alhaitham’s hair and pulling his head up so you could meet his eyes.
You stared for a moment at Alhaitham’s face – his eyes were unfocused, glazed over, a flush tinting his cheeks a deep red. There was a trail of saliva dripping from one corner of his mouth, his lips hanging open, along with smears of spit all over his chin as he tried his best to recover from what you had just done to him.
“Nghh…” Alhaitham groaned, his arms straining as he slowly picked himself off of you. “That’s what you get for invading my ass.”
“Hah!” You exclaimed, “I’m pretty sure you loved it.”
“Fuck you.” Alhaitham responded, his cognition reduced to vulgar insults after such intense stimulation.
“I’m pretty sure you just tried to do that.” You sneered. “You didn’t succeed, because the only person who came was you.”
Alhaitham merely growled, pushing himself off of you and withdrawing his half-hard dick from your pussy. It was coated in a sheen of white, a vulgar mixture of both your arousal and his cum. He grabbed your hips tightly, his fingers digging into your delicate skin as he pulled you towards the end of the bed and flipped you onto your stomach. He lifted your hips into the air, his biceps flexing as he supported your body weight.
Alhaitham used one thumb to pull apart your swollen lips, admiring the sheen of your arousal and the clumps of cum that dripped from your entrance. At the thought of brutalizing your pussy and unloading inside of it, his dick was already hard again.
“What are you doing- Ahhhnnn~” Your eyes went wide as Alhaitham thrusted into you, starting at an aggressive pace that had you digging your elbows into the mattress for support. You had no control since your legs were dangling in the air off the edge of the bed, the ridiculous position only made possible by Alhaitham’s strength.
“Do you really think you can win,” Alhaitham  spoke, his voice mixing with the lewd slapping and squelching as he fucked you brutally, “when I’m stronger, I’m smarter, I’m better than you?
“Haaah~ you’re wrong-“ you gasped out, your head buried in the mattress as Alhaitham’s thrusts shook your body violently. “Aah- bastard!”
Alhaitham showed no signs of relenting as he burned with indignation. He couldn’t believe you had made him cum the way you did – it drove him to fuck you deeper, harder, to drive you insane with his cock. He ignored your whimpering and moaning, determined to teach you a lesson.
As he pummeled into you over and over, you could feel your abdomen tightening with pleasure. From this angle, he felt bigger and longer than before, and it was beginning to drive you insane. Each snap of his hips against your ass pushed you closer and closer to your climax, and you began to lose control of what you were saying as you approached the precipice of orgasm.
“Hnnn ‘Haitham… ‘so good…” You mumbled, your voice muffled from the way your head was pressed into the mattress.
“Hmm, what was that?” You heard Alhaitham speak smugly between the loud slapping of his thrusts.
“Screw you” You gave a breathless groan in response as you tried your best to hang onto reality despite being so close to orgasm. You were infuriated by how smug he was becoming even if not five minutes before he was in the exact same position. You were determined to not let him win in this competition.
However, a loud smack resounded through the room, followed by a whimper. Alhaitham had used one hand to land a harsh blow on your ass. He left behind a red handprint on your soft skin.
Alhaitham only smirked as he continued to fuck you; seeing the way your ass was in the air and your face was buried in the sheets seemed so perfect to him. He wanted to see you at his mercy, begging for his cock, calling his name over and over.
Thus, he pulled out of you suddenly, throwing your body back down onto the mattress. You rolled onto your back as you let out a whine from the sudden lack of stimulation and the harrowing sensation of emptiness within you.
“What? Wh-Why’d you stop, you asshole!” You shouted, glaring up at the narcissistic scholar.
“If you want to cum, you have to beg.” Alhaitham sneered. He got onto all fours above you, hands planted on either side of your head as he hooked your legs over his shoulders. You stared at him, half-expecting him to continue his brutal fucking despite what he had just said.
Instead, Alhaitham began to grind against your aching pussy. His thick length ran up and down your soaked slit, teasing your overly-sensitive clit.
“Hahhh… stop that!” You squirmed, but Alhaitham only ground against you harder. He dipped his head down, biting into the soft tissue of one breast, leaving a dark purple hickey as he withdrew.
“Beg.”
“Like hell I will!” You responded, trying to kick your legs only to realize Alhaihtam was hovering so low above you that you had no leverage when they were hooked over his shoulders like this. Alhaitham moved to another location, leaving a painfully dark hickey again.
“Ugh, stop it!” You reached your hands up, pulling at Alhaihtam’s hair to try to make him stop leaving hickeys.
Alhaitham’s lips parted from your chest with a popping sound, a string of saliva hanging from his lips as he reached one arm up and grabbed both of your hands. Pinning them above your head, he rocked his hips against you harder, making your back arch as you ached for him to fill you.
“Aagh!” You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut. “Stop teasing me and just fuck me already!” 
“Hmm? What was that?” Alhaitham taunted, rolling his hips again, sending small jolts of pleasure shooting up your abdomen – but it wasn’t anywhere near enough to make you orgasm.
“I said, just fuck me already!” You groaned, your pussy clenching around nothing as you grew more and more desperate to be filled.
“Hmmm… I don’t like your tone.” Alhaihtam responded coolly, “I want you to beg.”
Another slow grind against your swollen lips left you panting.
“Haahh,” You blinked, trying your best to maintain composure, “fuck me… please.”
“Begging is really not a hard thing to do.” Alhaitham teased, “Are you really that bad at understanding such a simple direction?”
“Please fuck me.” You whimpered, your voice suddenly small.
“What exactly do you want me to do?” Alhaitham pushed you further as he ground against you again. The motion drew a small whimper from your lips.
“P-please, I need your cock…” You whined as Alhaitham rolled his hips into you once more, “I need your cock inside of me…”
“Very well.” Alhaitham spoke bluntly, drawing his hips back and thrusting into you with force.
You let out a shrill scream as Alhaitham’s hips came to land against the plush of your ass. The stretch felt so good, the way he filled you so perfectly made your eyes roll into the back of your head.
However, Alhaitham came to a stop like that. He didn’t move any more, keeping his hips settled against your ass. Your eyes blinked open as you came back to your senses, and you realized Alhaitham was staring down at you with an infuriatingly smug expression on his face.
“If you want me to do anything more than this, you’ll have to be better at begging.”
“Ngh… No… Please, just fuck me already…” You whimpered, trying to move your hips to gain any sort of friction between his cock and your aching walls.
“I said beg.”
“Please, please I’ll do anything, just fuck me!” You exclaimed, tears welling up in your eyes as you grew more and more desperate.
“If you really mean you’ll do anything,” Alhaitham’s voice dripped with gratification, “Then who’s cock do you want to fuck you?”
“Alhaitham’s cock, please, Alhaitham please fuck me! Please make me cum pleasepleaseplease-”
Alhaitham drew his hips back before sharply thrusting into you a single time, his hips colliding with your ass as a loud slap echoed through his bedroom. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you let out the most lewd and pitiful whine, your body shaking from how desperately you craved stimulation.
“Look at you, so desperate for the cock of a feeble scholar.” Alhaitham sneered, “If you want it so badly, you have to finally admit that I’m better than you.”
“Ngh, no-” You were cut off by another singular thrust, “haah- ngh…”
Alhaitham grabbed a fistful of your hair, forcing your head back and exposing your throat. You moaned, somehow turned on by his painful grip on your hair.
“You’ll have to admit it if you want to cum. Trust me, I can wait all day... But I’m sure you wouldn’t like that.”
As Alhaitham spoke, he rolled his hips slightly, the tip of his dick pressing harder into your sensitive walls.
“Hahhh…” You sighed, your resolve finally breaking down. “You’re better, Alhaitham, you’re smarter and stronger and the only one who can make me-”
Alhaitham had finally heard what he was so eager to hear after all of these years. He finally let loose, allowing his desires to take over now that he won. He thrusted into you wildly, leaving all restraint in the back of his mind as he pummel into your sweet, submissive pussy.
You screamed as you finally received the stimulation you craved. Alhaitham went wild as he pounded into you, talking down to you now that your responses had devolved into lewd whimpers and screams.
“This is why the Sages chose me to retrieve the divine knowledge capsule and not you. Hahh, I’m surprised they even let you compete with me for the Auspicious knowledge capsule. You would have died at the hands of a Fatui Harbinger if it weren’t for my quick thinking… ngh…”
Alhaitham was getting far too turned on by talking down to you and hearing only garbled moans in response.
“Haaah, ‘Haitham!” You exclaimed, your eyes rolling back in your head as you grew closer and closer to orgasm. Your shouts rose into screams as Alhaitham continued to bully his quickly swelling cock into your aching and abused walls. “So good, so good, s’goo…” Your mind went blank from the pleasure as your mouth hung open, the sounds you made growing louder and louder.
“Ngh, shut up.” Alhaitham reached his free hand up to your neck, supporting his body weight on his elbows instead. He pulled harder on your hair as he squeezed your neck. He cut off your screams but at the same time stopped any access to air. Your mouth hung open silently, drool trailing from your swollen and bloody lips, your eyes going wide.
You finally, after hours of violently hateful sex, came at the mercy of your most hated rival.
And at that moment, you passed out.
Alhaitham could feel your walls convulse around his cock so tightly that his movements had to slow down – you were squeezing him so hard that it almost hurt. After a couple of seconds you suddenly went limp around him, your walls still twitching sporadically, and Alhaitham gave a few more sharp thrusts before pulling out of you and spraying his load over your chest and face.
The silver-haired scribe was panting hard as he slowly came down from his high. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling it slick with sweat from so much physical exertion. He’d never had such intense sex in his life – even though his sex life was anything but bland.
He glanced down at your unconscious form sprawled out on the bed before him, your head twisted at an awkward angle and your legs splayed on either side of you as if they were putting your leaking pussy on display. He watched as a thick stream of cum slowly trailed out of your entrance, his gaze moving up to see the mottled red and purple marks he had made all over your skin.
After a couple of moments, Alhaitham snapped out of his daze as he was suddenly wracked with guilt. He leaned over you, reaching two fingers up to your neck, waiting breathlessly as he tried to find a heartbeat.
He shook his head as he finally found one, sighing to himself.
“I’m just being irrational. Of course I didn’t kill her.” He sighed, looking back and staring at your unconscious body. He drank in the marks on your skin, the slick that spilled out of you, proud that he was the only one to ever do this to you – who ever could do this to you.
For a moment, Alhaitham wanted to stay. He wanted to take care of you, to clean you up and hold you until he fell asleep. However, he quickly rid those thoughts from his head – he had a mission to complete.
Alhaitham slipped his pants and shirt back on, ignoring his disgustingly messy body as he began to walk out of the room. On the way out he picked up his cape, slinging it over his shoulder as he shut his bedroom door behind himself.
~~~
Kaveh was trying to figure out the best materials to use for the carpet of this foyer. He was an architect at heart, not an interior decorator – but this job paid well. The more jobs he took, the more he’d get paid, and then he’d finally be able to move out of Alhaitham’s hellish apartment.
The sounds of you and Alhaitham arguing grated against his ears, but he did his best to block them out – he felt bad for you. You were the same as Kaveh… you were also stuck living here, and you got just as infuriated as him by that damned scribe.
‘Stop it! Do you even care about leaving marks?’
Kaveh frowned, his head tilting to the side as he heard your shout come from the other room. He shook his head, deciding his brain was definitely in the gutter after what had happened between the three of you a week ago. There was certainly nothing lewd going on between the two of you… right?
‘Well, you’d look far better without those clothes.’
Kaveh’s eyes went wide. Alhaitham wasn’t really saying that to you, was he? Was this one of his perverse ways of giving compliments? Kaveh knew Alhaitham was bad at speaking to women, but he never expected something this bad to come from his mouth.
Then, he began to hear moans.
“That’s it, I’m taking more jobs so I can move out even faster!” Kaveh grumbled to himself, raking his fingers through his bangs as he tried his best to focus on the task at hand. “Ahh, yeah, the colors… which colors go best with ivory again…” He grumbled, talking out loud to try to drown out the very loud sexual behavior that had begun in the room next door.
However, when he began to hear the moans that came from Alhaitham, Kaveh dropped his pencil.
‘What are you- haaah~’
Kaveh couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t ignore the growing bulge in his pants, and slowly slipped his fingers beneath his clothes to take care of the problem.
~~~
“Kaveh, I need a favor.”
The blonde jumped up from his desk, quickly adjusting his clothes before turning towards Alhaitham with a stern frown on his face.
“What is it, Alhaitham?” Kaveh couldn’t hide the venom that dripped from his voice. “You stink of sex, you mongrel.”
“Stop acting like you don’t have ears, Kaveh.” Alhaitham retorted. “And stop acting like you weren’t enjoying yourself just now, either.”
Kaveh’s eyes widened with shock and indignation.
“Why you-”
“I need you to make sure Y/N stays here while I travel to Port Ormos.” Alhaitham sternly cut off his blonde roommate. “It’s not safe for her there. Last time she nearly got killed, and I can’t have her endangering herself again.”
Kaveh’s brows pinched together with confusion.
“Is it another one of those missions the Sages send you on? Don’t they usually send the both of you on the same mission?”
“It’s highly classified information.” Alhaitham responded bluntly. “But yes – I personally asked them not to send her on these missions anymore. I assured them that I would be enough.”
“I’m pretty sure she’s not going to like this when she finds out-”
“That’s why I’m leaving now. I plan to be long gone by the time she realizes.” Alhaitham cut Kaveh off once again. “And that’s why you have to do anything in your power to stop her from leaving the house.”
“I- what?” Kaveh questioned. “And you’re going to leave while smelling this foul?”
“That’s none of your business.” Alhaitham responded. “I’m entrusting her to you.”
The scribe merely walked away, as if Kaveh had already agreed to do such a heinous thing as keep you locked indoors for days on end.
Kaveh threw down his blueprints in anger, infuriated by the borderline unlivable environment of Alhaitham’s house. Then, he realized he had a deadline to meet, and awkwardly scrambled to pick back up his papers and opted to carry them out to the living room to finish them up in a different setting.
After about an hour, Kaveh was enjoying a hot cup of tea as he finished up another section of his commission. He heard the creak of a door opening – you were finally emerging from Alhaitham’s bedroom. Kaveh continued to scribble one last thing down with his free hand as he spoke to you.
“Good, you’re finally awake. Do you want some tea? I just brewed-”
Kaveh stopped mid-sentence as he looked up to see the state of you. His eyes went wide as he saw your messy hair, your bloody lips, and the purplish blotches of the hickeys Alhaitham had left all over your once-pristine skin. You were clinging to a bed sheet that you had loosely wrapped around your torso, your posture hunched over as if you were in pain.
“Archons, Y/N, you look like hel-”
“Where’s Alhaitham.” Your tone dripped with hatred.
“He’s gone.” Kaveh responded.
“He’s what?” Your eyes went wide. “I need to go after him.” You glanced around the living room.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you leave the house.” Kaveh responded.
“What?” You questioned, confused.
“Alhaitham said that if I let you leave the house, you’ll just go after him and endanger your life again.”
“Grrr, that BASTARD!” You exclaimed, spinning around and storming back into his bedroom, slamming the door shut so violently that it rattled the plates in the kitchen cupboards.
Kaveh let out a sigh of relief despite being seriously worried about the state of your body.
“At least she’s not trying to leave.” He sighed, trying his best to continue working on the paperwork.
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daisynik7 · 5 months
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Win a Date with Takada-Chan! Part II
Pairing: Aoi Todo x f!reader
Rating: Mature
Word Count: ~5.3k
cw: switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Todo is in 3rd), reader described as having hair, reader has curves, mentions of food/desserts, suggestive dialogue, sexual tension, explicit language, suggestive touching
Summary: The second half of Takada-Chan’s big group date is underway. Or so you think.
Author’s Notes: Here’s the last regular chapter of Idol Fan Wars. Stay tuned for the Epilogue, coming soon. Divider credit to @/saradika. 
Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Epilogue
Tag List: @iwillbiteabitch
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Todo’s warm breath on your ear wakes you up. “Hey, baby. We’re here.” Baby…? Did he just call you baby?
And did you just get aroused by him calling you baby?!
Right. It’s all part of the act. Though he only whispered it to you. Why would he call you baby if no one else is listening? Before you can analyze it any further, he stands up to exit the bus, you following right behind him. Once you’re outside, he puts his arm around your shoulder as you wait for all the other fans to exit. “Did you have a good nap?” he asks.
You nod, reveling in this unusual closeness. “Yes, I did. Thanks for letting me sleep on you.” You peer up at him to give him a smile. “You’re surprisingly very comfortable.”
“Well, you can sleep on me anytime,” he says, rubbing your arm affectionately. All his little touches are gentle and sweet; there are butterflies in your stomach. It’s not what you expect from him. 
Takada-Chan leads them into the studio. You find out your favorite security guard’s name is Haru, and you chat with him as you walk. Todo still has his arm wrapped around you, not speaking. Occasionally, he’ll pull you in a little closer to his body when you start to deviate slightly away from him. 
As part of the group date, the fans get to stand on set and partake in an official Takada-Chan photoshoot. As she gets ready in her dressing room, her manager comes out to offer a buffet of food and refreshments. This includes a variety of sandwiches, chips, and even a chocolate fondue fountain. You go straight for dessert, filling your plate with strawberries and marshmallows galore. Todo stacks three roast beef sandwiches on his plate. Still feeling disgruntled about your confrontation with the other winners, you and Todo keep to yourselves as you chow down. 
“Is that all you’re going to eat?” he asks, inspecting your plate full of chocolate covered strawberries. “It’s all sweets.”
“Oops, I guess it is. I can’t help it; I’ve got the biggest sweet tooth,” you explain with a half shrug.
“Here. At least have one bite of real food.” He holds one of his sandwiches in front of your lips. “Open.” 
The demand catches you off guard. Nevertheless, you obey and open wide. His lips curl into that signature smirk as you take a big bite. “Good girl.”
You look away from him, flustered, as you chew the food in your mouth. Why does this seem so erotic? It’s just a sandwich. It’s as if those two words uttered from his lips unlocked a deep desire in you. Avoiding his gaze, you indulge in a chocolate covered strawberry. It’s messy, sweet, and decadent. 
“Is it good?” You answer him with a silent nod, noticing how his eyes linger on your mouth. “You have some chocolate on your lip.” He reaches out to you before you can even process his comment. He swipes the pad of his thumb slowly across the corner of your mouth. Before he moves away, you grasp at his hand and surround his thumb with your lips, sucking off the chocolate. You gaze into his eyes as you slowly pull his hand away, making sure to make a loud pop when you release him. 
Under his breath, you hear him growl, “Fuck.”
“Shouldn’t let it go to waste, right?” There’s a naughty glint in your eyes. 
He steps closer to you and says in a low voice, “You’re so bad, you know that? You can’t just do things like that in public.” 
“But we have to give these people a show, right?”
Suddenly, his expression changes. He looks hurt. “Is this all just an act to you? Kissing me, falling asleep on my chest, sucking my fucking thumb like that. Is all this still just pretend?”
“Isn’t it?” you respond, confused by his reaction. 
He doesn’t say anything at first, only stares at you with an odd expression, almost like he’s disappointed. Finally, he asks, “Is that how you feel?” 
How do you feel? After everything that has happened today, there’s no doubt in your mind that you’re attracted to him. The kiss, the affectionate touching, the way he called you baby and good girl. Is this how he is as a boyfriend? You never imagined there could be this side of him. This is something you could get used to. But you and Todo still didn’t know each other well. Your relationship started off as a silly rivalry full of name-calling and squabbling. How can you become a couple after a few chance encounters? 
~~~
After what feels like forever, she stammers, “I’m not sure how I feel.”
Todo can’t help feeling dejected. He jerks his head away from her and stuffs his mouth with one of his sandwiches. How is he supposed to respond to that?
“Todo,” she starts.
“It’s fine,” he grunts. “Forget I said anything.”
They eat the rest of their food without speaking, a strange atmosphere between them now. It’s not like he’s mad at her; how can he be? They’ve been bickering rivals up until now. He can’t expect her to fall for him after one kiss and a few cute pet names. When he really thinks about it, he hasn’t been the nicest or most chivalrous person towards her. Checking out her ass and pulling on her braids doesn’t really scream out Prince Charming. If he’s going to win her over, he has to be better. He needs to do something unselfish and kind. She’s already done enough for him, it’s time for him to do something for her. 
After several more minutes of waiting, Takada-Chan comes out of her dressing room, ready for the photoshoot. She’s beautiful in a red polka dot dress with her hair up in her signature pigtails. The fans watch in awe as the photographer directs the pop idol to do different poses against a white backdrop. After a couple of pictures, the crew switches the backdrop while Takada-Chan changes into a different outfit. This repeats for a while, with the idol’s outfits equally as epic as the last, classic pigtails still in place. 
The photoshoot lasts about two hours. When the last pictures are taken, the photographer and Takada-Chan motion to her fans so they can all take turns getting their own personal photos with the idol. Many of the winners pose for solo pics rather than with their guest. 
Todo and his pretend girlfriend haven’t said much to each other during the photoshoot. She seemed too mesmerized watching Takada-Chan. It was adorable watching her eyes widen with delight at each pose the pop idol struck. He still isn’t sure what to think after their last conversation.
When it’s time for their photo, Todo walks toward Takada-Chan. When he sees that his “girlfriend” is still staying in place, he furrows his eyebrows and waves her over. She shakes her head. “You should get your own pic, it’s fine.”
“I want you in the picture,” he demands. 
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, come here.”
Takada-Chan giggles in the background. “You two are too much. Cuteness overload.”
She takes her spot on the other side of Takada-Chan. The photographer points her camera. “Ready?”
“Let’s do a little heart this time!” the pop idol suggests. She puts her thumb and index finger together. They follow suit. 
“Fantastic! Takada-Chan’s team will email this out to the winners in a few day’s time,” the photographer informs. 
The singer gives a temporarily farewell as she makes her way back to the dressing room to get ready for the second portion of the group date. 
Todo notices his girlfriend clutching at her stomach, taking labored breaths. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, my stomach hurts all of a sudden. I think all that chocolate is catching up to me.”
“What?!” he yells out.
“My tummy,” she murmurs. She looks up at him with pitiful puppy dog eyes. How can someone in this current state still be so adorable?
He glances around the room in a panic. “Well, what do you need? Do you want some water or medicine?”
She holds onto his arm as she rubs her belly. “It feels like a really bad cramp. I’m so dumb. I get like this sometimes when I eat too many sweets on an empty stomach.”
“I told you to eat some real food!” 
“I know! You were right! I should have listened!” She buries her face in her hands as she doubles over. 
Todo bends down to put his arm around her. “Are you going to be okay?”
Through her hands, he hears her mutter, “I don’t know.”
~~~
Takada-Chan reappears in her outfit from earlier in the day. When she notices you and Todo kneeling, she hurries over. “Are you okay?” 
There’s a painful pang in your stomach again. This is what you get for stuffing your face full of chocolate! You’ve always had a sensitive stomach, but this is just cruel and unusual for it to be happening right now. 
Todo stands up and explains, “My girlfriend isn’t feeling well.”
The idol gasps. “Oh no! Is there anything we can do for you, sweetie?”
After a few deep breaths, you stand up straight and say, “I think I should just go home.”
“Should we take you to a hospital?”
“No, no. It’s not serious. A hot compress and some bed rest will do the trick. I’m so sorry Takada-Chan.”
“I’m sorry there isn’t much we can do to help you. I’m going to miss you at our dinner.” Your heart beats faster at the idol’s kind words, but even that isn’t enough to ease you from this misery.
“I’ll come with you,” Todo states, concerned.
You turn to him and exclaim, “No! Please, Todo. Go to the dinner. I’ll be fine. Really!” There’s a heavy weight of guilt sweeping over you. You don’t want to take him away from his precious Takada-Chan over a little tummy ache. You grip his arm tightly and reassure him. “I’ll be fine. I promise. Just have fun, okay?”
The pop idol can’t help herself. She lets out a squeal. “Seriously, cutest couple ever!” 
Todo opens his mouth but doesn’t say anything. He bows his head to stare down at the floor. What is he thinking right now? Is he afraid to look at you? After a few more seconds, you hear him mutter, “Okay.”
You’re relieved when he agrees to stay. There is no reason for him to leave the dinner for you. It’s not like you two are an actual couple. You would hate to have him resent you for missing out on this once in a lifetime opportunity. 
Takada-Chan tasks Haru, her security guard, to take you home. At first you refuse, already guilty for putting this burden on everyone. After plenty of coaxing from the singer, you concede and follow Haru out, Todo and the Takada trailing behind you. She sends you off with a warm hug and a “feel better soon.” When you stand in front of Todo, he looks at you with a neutral expression. 
“Have fun at dinner,” you say, with a weak smile. 
“Yeah, okay.” Unexpectedly, he reaches out to tuck your hair behind your ear. His fingers slowly trail down to your chin. It’s intimate and tender. Just for a nanosecond, you think about kissing him again.
You turn away before you can do anything. Haru is already holding the door open to the backseat of the car. As you slide into the vehicle, you hear Takada-Chan and Todo chatting as they walk back towards the studio. There’s a feeling of jealously as you watch them together. Are you jealous that Todo gets to dine with Takada-Chan? Or are you jealous that Takada-Chan is going out to dinner with your boyfriend? You don’t even know anymore. 
The twenty-minute car ride to your house is mostly silent, except for best security guard ever Haru checking in every so often to make sure you are as comfortable as you can be given your current condition. When he pulls up to the driveway, you give him your most gracious thanks and head into your home. After you prepare a hot compress, you head straight to bed, curled up in a fetal position.
You groan out loud. This really must be karma for lying to the world about your fake relationship. And maybe karma for leading Todo on, giving him such a half-assed answer when he asked you how you really feel.
Aside from the cramping, there’s tightness in the pit of your stomach. You think about all that has happened today. Why did you kiss him? Fall asleep against his chest? Suck on his thumb?! What the fuck were you thinking?! You didn’t do it to tease him. It’s different than the time at the café. You had no malicious intentions this time. Your body just acted on its own. He was being so lovey-dovey and sweet, you got caught up in the moment.
The act. Is this all just an act to you? Is all this still just pretend? The sting in his voice was so apparent when he asked you those questions. The hurt look on his face when you answered is ingrained in your memory. Why did he react that way? Does he not want it to be pretend anymore?
Maybe there was intention behind every touch and whisper today. And not just for Todo, but for you too. Even though you kissed him to prove a point, you’ve always desired to feel those big lips against yours. You didn’t mind him holding you the way he did; in fact, you were comfortable with him. And you definitely didn’t have to put his thumb in your mouth, but you can brush that off as just a little moment of weakness.
Is it still an act if you wanted to do all those things? If you still want to do those things? And with Todo, of all people? The man who you thought was the bane of your existence the past few weeks? As you lie in bed, stomach still aching, you can’t help but feel a more pleasant sensation as you fantasize about him. His sexy smirk, that low growl in his voice. His beefy arms that can engulf you in the most amazing embrace. Those big lips that can swallow you whole. That overwhelming confidence that makes you believe in every word that comes out of his mouth. The eccentric attitude that keeps you on your toes. 
Maybe Sara is right. She always is. 
You like him.
~~~
He misses her. 
They’ve been in the party bus for thirty minutes, travelling to Takada-Chan’s favorite sushi restaurant in the city. He’s not particularly enjoying the subtle jeers and snickers from the other fans, who of course found out immediately that his “girlfriend” had to ditch him out of the blue. 
They’re all just assholes, Todo doesn’t have the energy to deal with them right now. How is he just realizing what a sausage-fest these events are? 
He sits in the same seat as earlier in the day. It’s empty without her cuddled beside him. He could have sat next to the pop idol, but he doesn’t feel like socializing, much to his own surprise. His mind keeps focusing on her.
He takes his phone out of his pocket and pulls up their chat. The familiar picture shows up on his screen and he can’t help but grin at it. He’ll never get over how cute it is. The rest of their messages are from a week ago, when she asked him to go with her on this group date. He stares at his phone, contemplating if he should send her a text to check in. In the end, he decides against it. She’s probably sleeping, he thinks.
At last, they arrive to the sushi restaurant. Todo makes sure to sit next to the pop idol this time. Normally, he would be starstruck and speechless being in such close proximity to Takada-Chan. However, he’s too distracted thinking about his girlfriend.
Girlfriend. He loves the way that sounds in his head. No quotes, no “fake” or “pretend” in front of it. Just girlfriend. He wants to keep calling her that. 
As the rest of the dweebs gather around the table, Takada-Chan starts speaking to Todo. “Such a bummer about your girlfriend. I hope she’s okay.”
“Yeah, me too.” He drums his fingers against the table anxiously.
“You seem distracted. Are you that worried about her?”
“I guess I am. I wish she was here right now.”
She flashes a warm smile and agrees. “Me too. Maybe she wishes you were with her right now too.”
Todo’s eyes widen with realization. Could that be true? She practically begged him to stay for the dinner. Maybe out of guilt. Could this be an opportunity to show her how he feels about her? To do something nice and prove his worth? 
“You should go to her.” Even in reality, Takada-Chan is his voice of reason. 
“You’re right, Takada-Chan. I have to do something. This is my chance to really show her the type of man I can be!”
She pumps her fists up with a bright smile. “That’s it, Todo! You got this!”
He gets up and bows deeply to the pop idol. “Thank you, Takada-Chan. Thank you for everything.” 
As soon as he exits the restaurant, Todo dials her number. No answer. He calls three more times with no success. Thinking quickly, he texts Yuji.
Todo: Brother, I need your help.
Brother: hey, what’s up?  
Todo: I need Sara’s number. 
Brother: did something happen on your big date? Is everything ok
Todo: I’ll tell you later, just give me her number
Yuji texts Sara’s phone number, to which Todo immediately calls. “Hello?” she answers. In the background, he can hear the sound of clinking plates and the distinct chatter of a party.
“Sara, it’s Aoi Todo. Yuji gave me your phone number.”
“Todo? Why are you calling me?” 
He explains the situation, then says, “I tried calling her, but she isn’t picking up. I’m worried about her. I’m going to buy some porridge for her right now. Can you give me her address?”
She doesn’t respond right away. Finally, she states, “I can’t just give you my best friend’s address.”
Todo expects this type of response. It was Sara who caught him staring at her best friend’s ass in that mini skirt. She probably still thinks he’s a pervert.  He can’t blame her for being protective, but he’ll be damned if he can’t see his girlfriend tonight and feed her some porridge. “Please. I’m almost at the porridge shop right now. I just want to bring it to her. I want to do something nice for her.”
More silence, until she relents. “Okay. I’ll give you her address. But I’m coming too. I’m almost off work. I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes.”
Todo breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Sara. Thank you.”
“You better be on your best behavior, mister!” she warns.
“I will, I promise.”
Luckily, there is a well rated soup shop near his current location. He buys a large bowl of plain rice porridge to go. As he makes his way to train station, he stops by a convenience store to grab a few Pocari Sweats. If she’s feeling nauseated, she might be vomiting; she’ll need to replenish her electrolytes. He also buys matcha green tea ice cream. At the café, he remembers her mentioning how much she loves matcha. Even if her sweet tooth is what got her into this mess, he hopes that the ice cream will be a nice treat to settle her stomach. 
As he pays, he notices a stuffed turtle plushie displayed at the window. At the Meet and Greet, when she was chatting away with Takada-Chan in her dressing room, she pretended to own a pet turtle named Nobu. Maybe she’ll like this. 
He boards the train heading in the direction of the address Sara texted him, bag of goodies in hand, determined to show her what he’s capable of. Sara is already there when he arrives, hands on her hips, lips pursed, eyebrows knit together. A defensive stance. “Good evening, Todo.” Her eyes narrow as she says his name.
Todo is not the type of person to get scared. This is well known fact. But even he can’t help but falter slightly under this intense gaze. It’s like a mama bear protecting her cub. “Hello. I brought some stuff for her.” 
He lifts the bag up for Sara to see. She glances at it, then her gaze averts back to him. “So, what’s the deal? Do you like her or something?” 
Wow, very straight forward. Todo clears his throat and stands tall. With as much confidence as he can muster, he confesses, “Yes. I like her.” Saying it out loud makes it real. There’s fluttering in his abdomen, giddy and excited. 
“We kissed today,” Todo admits. Sara’s eyes widen with surprise, but she remains silent. Listening. “We got confronted by some other fans. Said we were faking being a couple to get Takada-Chan’s attention. She thought it would be a good idea to kiss to shut them up. Maybe it was all just for show, but I felt something there. I feel something between us. I know I’ve been a jerk and a pain in the ass, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to show that I can be a man worthy of her.” 
He draws a long breath and exhales slowly, waiting for a reaction from Sara. Suddenly, her expression softens as reaches into her pocket for something. A key. She grins at him. “It’s about time. I’m just surprised she made the first move, considering what a horndog you are. No offense.” She jingles the key in her hand. “I tried calling her, but she isn’t picking up. I’ve got a key to her place, so we can just head in and check on her.”
“Wait, that’s it? You looked so intimidating just a few seconds ago.”
Sara laughs loudly. “You thought I was intimidating? Oh man, I’m flattered. I just had to make sure your intentions are pure. Don’t think I don’t know about the naughty conversation you two had at the café. Or the fact that I caught you red-handed checking her out.” She glares at Todo as she warns, “I’m still keeping my eye on you, though. Better behave yourself.”
She unlocks the front door and gestures to follow her inside. He immediately puts the matcha green tea ice cream in the freezer. Sara side eyes him and asks, “Did you get that for her, too?”
Todo rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah. She told me she likes matcha, so I thought she’d like this.”
“I’m impressed. She will definitely like that.” He mentally pats himself on the back.   
He watches Sara approach a closed door and knock on it gently. She calls out her best friend’s name softly. When there’s no answer, she quietly opens the door and heads inside. 
Todo’s heart starts racing. What is he going to say to her? Should he confess to her right now? If she’s still feeling ill, he wouldn’t want to unload his feelings onto her. It might cause her more stress. 
He grabs the bag with the porridge and turtle plushie, ready to go. Waiting for the right moment to make his entrance. 
~~~
Sara’s voice calling out your name startles you awake. When you open your eyes, she’s kneeling on the ground beside the bed. “Hey, are you okay? We’ve been trying to call you for the past hour.”
You rub your eyes and yawn. “Yeah, I’m feeling okay.” Once you process what she said, you ask, “Wait, what are you doing here?”
“I heard you got sick from eating too much chocolate. You can be so lame sometimes,” she chuckles, ruffling your head. 
“Who told you?”
“Your boyfriend.”
That gets you sitting up immediately. “Todo texted you?”
“Yeah. He was so worried about you. Even bought you porridge and green tea ice cream.”
“He had all that delivered? For me?”
“No, dummy. He’s here.”
“Todo is here?”
Sara nods with a devilish grin on her face. Then, she gets up and walks out of your bedroom. You hear her speaking to someone, but you can’t make out what they’re saying. You hear heavy footsteps approaching. Todo stands in the doorway, holding a bag. “Hey.”
Him standing at the entrance of your bedroom makes you self-conscious. If you knew he was going to be here, you would have worn some cuter pajamas. Instead, you’re wearing boxer shorts and a raggedy oversized t-shirt that has been through trying times. You’re also currently braless. You pull the blanket up closer to your chest. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at dinner with Takada-Chan.”
“I was worried about you. Wanted to make sure you were okay.” He stays standing in the doorway.
“Sara told me you bought me porridge. You left your date with Takada-Chan just to buy me some soup?” 
“Yeah. I guess I did.” After a few seconds of silence, he asks, “Can I come in?”
Something about him asking makes you feel at ease. Maybe he can be a gentleman after all. “Sure.”
He sits on the floor, cross legged, beside the bed. There’s a small tray you keep in arms reach by your dresser. You grab it and lay it out on your bed. 
“It might not be as hot. Just let me know if you want me to heat it more.” He places the bowl on the tray and hands you a soup spoon. 
This is really sweet. He’s being really sweet right now. 
The porridge smells amazing. You drop the blanket slightly as you lean forward to enjoy the soup. There’s still a bit of steam that comes out when you remove the cover. It looks heavenly. After the first spoonful, you hum in satisfaction. “This tastes amazing.” 
Todo smiles as he leans back onto his hands. “I’m glad you like it. Are you feeling better?”
“Yes. Sleeping and a hot compress helped. And this porridge is really hitting the spot.” 
“Is it really that good?”
“Yeah! Here, try it.”
He contemplates for a few seconds before crawling on his knees to move closer to the bed. You hold out a spoonful, your other hand underneath to prevent spillage. He leans his head forward and opens his mouth as you feed him. 
This feels very intimate for some reason. You see his Adam’s apple move up and down as he swallows. “It’s good,” he says. 
You eat the rest of the porridge in silence, Todo watching you from the floor. Once you’re all done, he puts the empty bowl in the bag and reveals the cutest turtle plushie you’ve ever seen. “I also got you this. Thought you might like it. You can name it Nobu.”
This is too much. You feel like you might explode from the cuteness overload. He hands you the turtle and you squeeze it against your chest. “Thank you so much. You’re really sweet.”
He smirks, a blush creeping to his cheeks. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He leans against the side of the bed, hands tucked under his chin, eyes focused on you. 
“But you skipped the dinner with Takada-Chan. Are you upset?”
“Of course not. Didn’t feel right to be there without you anyways. I want to be here with you.”
You raise a brow at him, giving him a playful smile. “Then, I guess this means we’re friends. Even though you told me we could never be friends.”
Suddenly, he gets up and kneels on the side of the bed. The mattress sinks from his weight as he leans in closer to you. “I don’t want to be friends.” He’s centimeters from your face, though he remains still, waiting for you to make the first move. 
Maybe it’s the fact that he skipped a dinner with his “future wife” to bring you porridge. Or the fact that you’ve been yearning to rediscover how his lips feel against yours. Or maybe it’s because you like him. You actually like him. 
You set Nobu the turtle aside, afraid for what he might be exposed to in the next few minutes. 
You wrap your hands around the back of his thick neck to close the gap. The kiss is messy, sloppy, and hungry. He swirls his tongue in your mouth, desperate to taste you. The blankets covering your body are pushed away, exposing you completely to him. You hear him growl as straddles you, hands sliding down to your waist. His touch is firm, but gentle all at the same time. You can’t help but moan into his mouth as he slides underneath your shirt. 
He breaks the kiss as soon as he reaches your bare chest. “You’re not wearing a bra?” He’s breathing is heavy. You smirk at him as you shake your head no. 
“You really are a good girl, aren’t you?” he whispers in your ear, scattering wet kisses all along your neck, brushing his thumb over your peaked nipples, causing you to moan louder.
From the doorway, you hear a loud, “AHEM.”
Immediately, you unwrap your legs from around his waist. When did you even do this?!
You both distance yourself from each other and turn to face Sara with her arms crossed, glaring. Todo grabs the blanket that was tossed aside and pulls it to cover the both of you.
“Did you two just forget I was here? The door is wide open, you fucking perverts.” She walks to the end of the bed and bends over to pick something up. “And right in front of poor Nobu? You two are really despicable.” 
You burst out in laughter. Todo slowly hops off the bed and sits back down on the bedroom floor, muttering a guilty, “Sorry.”
She walks back towards the door. “I’m not trying to be a cockblock or anything, but maybe you two should establish what your relationship is first. Are you rivals still? Friends? Fuck buddies? Let’s be adults about this, shall we?” 
She steps out of the room, swinging the door closed. Before it shuts all the way, she yells, “I’ll be right outside if you need me!”
You bury your face in your hands, embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”
He chuckles. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pounced on you like that.”
“I wanted it too. I mean, I still want it.”
“Don’t tempt me. I’m trying to be a gentleman here.” He leans forward to rest his head against the edge of the bed. “You should get some rest. We can talk later.” 
You study his face and reach out to delicately trace his scar with your fingers. “How did you get this?”
He holds your hand against his cheek and nuzzles into your palm. “Training, when I was a kid. Is it ugly?”
You smile at him. “Not at all. It’s actually really sexy.”
“Oh yeah?” he says softly with an eyebrow raised. He gives you a naughty smirk before pressing his lips to the inside of your wrist. It sets your skin ablaze.
“Todo, maybe we should take things slow. There’s still a lot we don’t know about each other.” 
With his eyes closed, he hums in response as he continues to kiss you. 
“Are you even listening to me?”
“Yes, I am. We’ll take things slow. Whatever it is you want, I’ll do it. I want to know everything about you.” His lips move to the back of your hand, placing soft kisses between each of your knuckles. “I want to be with you. And not as an act.” 
“I want to be with you, too.” 
He looks at you with an affectionate gaze, his lips touching your skin. Your breathing staggers as the tightness in your chest intensifies with each delicate kiss. 
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I also got you some matcha green tea ice cream,” Todo mentions, in between kisses.
Maybe taking things slow will be a lot harder than you think.
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birdofmay · 1 year
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Autism/Support Levels & Support Needs Masterpost (this list will grow)
With autism acceptance month coming up, this post aims to make the difference between autism levels and support needs more clear, because there's a lot of confusion - especially regarding the DSM-5, ICD-10, and ICD-11.
In short: autism levels are about the DSM-5 autism diagnostic criteria. If your country uses the DSM-5, you're often assigned a level with your diagnosis (though not always)
Support needs are about IADLs and BADLs and have nothing to do with your autism level. Not even with autism. The DSM-5 doesn't ask for IADLs and BADLs for assigning you an autism level. These two things may often align, but are two entirely different things.
Please note: support needs are a medical thing. Not every autistic needs help with IADLs or BADLs. These autistics are "no support needs" if you will; they simply don't have support needs regarding IADLs and BADLs. Again: Completely ignore that autism levels say "requires support" - this support has nothing to do with the support needs discussed here!
First: What are autism levels?
They have the two categories "Social Communication" and "Restricted Interests & Repetitive Behaviors", and it's possible to be for example level 1 in the first category, but level 2 in the second. It depends on the therapist. This is what it generally says:
Level 1:
Social Communication:
Without supports in place, deficits in social communication cause noticeable impairments. Difficulty initiating social interactions, and clear examples of atypical or unsuccessful response to social overtures of others. May appear to have decreased interest in social interactions. For example, a person who is able to speak in full sentences and engages in communication but whose to-and-fro conversation with others fails, and whose attempts to make friends are odd and typically unsuccessful.
Restricted Interests & Repetitive Behaviors:
Inflexibility of behavior causes significant interference with functioning in one or more contexts. Difficulty switching between activities. Problems of organization and planning hamper independence.
Level 2:
Social Communication:
Marked deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills; social impairments apparent even with supports in place; limited initiation of social interactions; and reduced or abnormal response to social overtures from others. For example, a person who speaks simple sentences, whose interaction is limited to narrow special interest, and who has markedly odd nonverbal communication.
Restricted Interests & Repetitive Behaviors
Inflexibility of behavior, difficulty coping with change, or other restricted/ repetitive behaviors appear frequently enough to be obvious to the casual observer and interfere with functioning in a variety of contexts. Distress and/or difficulty changing focus or action.
Level 3:
Social Communication:
Severe deficits in verbal and nonverbal social communication skills cause severe impairments in functioning, very limited initiation of social interactions, and minimal response to social overtures from others. For example, a person with few words of intelligible speech who rarely initiates interaction and, when he or she does, makes unusual approaches to meet needs only and responds to only very direct social approaches.
Restricted Interests & Repetitive Behaviors:
Inflexibility of behavior, extreme difficulty coping with change, or other restricted/repetitive behaviors markedly interfere with functioning in all spheres. Great distress/difficulty changing focus or action.
Ok, so: What are BADLs and IADLs?
According to this website:
BADLs include six skills typically needed to manage basic physical needs:
Bathing and showering: Bathing self completely, or requiring assistance with only one area of the body, including hair and skin and oral care (note: I think shaving your body is included here too because "hair")
Continence: Having complete control of bowels and bladder
Dressing: Including selecting appropriate clothes and outerwear and donning them independently, including fasteners
Functional mobility: Including walking or transferring from one place to another, specifically in and out of a bed or chair (note: this, and from room to room or general orientation within your own home. Climbing stairs is included here too.)
Self-feeding (not meal preparation): Moving food from plate to mouth or having the ability to chew and swallow
Toileting: Including getting on/off the toilet and cleaning oneself
IADLs are more complex activities required for independent living:
Cleaning and housekeeping: Including maintenance and other home care chores
Laundry
Managing money
Medication management: Taking prescribed medications
Preparing meals: Including food preparation
Shopping: For groceries and other necessities
Transportation: Including changing residences and moving
Using communication devices: Including the computer or telephone (note: this is for elderly people especially)
What support needs are about:
Who determines if you're low, medium or high support needs (if you have support needs)?
The overlap between autism levels and support needs, and a general info pamphlet:
"Do autism levels and support needs always line up?" with examples (credits to @notabled-noodle ):
Why disability support services often equate autism levels with support needs:
An overview of what autistic adults in Aotearoa whose autism levels line up with their support needs could be like - this is not a symptom or criteria list, it's simply an example! (credits to @whalesharkpasta ):
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marzipanandminutiae · 9 months
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she's never going to read this, but it's still interesting
so the person with the extremely cold corset takes last night has now decided that dress history folks are straight-up lying about the purpose of corsets. because we just love them so much, I guess?
she found this ad:
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and therefore knows corsets were Totally About Waist Reduction First And Foremost, Always And Forever, Amen
I have. some thoughts.
the main one being that nobody claimed corsets were never used to waist-train back then
the secondary one being that many ads for "form-reducing corsets," at least the ones that I found, make a distinction between "normal" corsets and their product:
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It's a specialty product, not what the average woman is wearing on a daily basis. Is its existence messed up? Yes! But nobody has been disputing that pressure on women to look a certain way, and fatphobia, are awful. The issue in question is: was the primary function of an average (in this case Victorian/Edwardian) corset waist reduction? It seems to me that the ad supplied- again, for a specialty garment that was not seen as an ordinary corset -does not prove OP's point.
so let's look at some ordinary corset ads, shall we?
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(don't freak out too much about the "baby/child corsets"- I've worked with extant examples many times, and they're just lightly stiffened vests. you couldn't lace a kid down in them if you tried- not that you should, obviously)
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(Pliability, elasticity, comfort- but no mention of waist reduction as a selling point)
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(this one is an unusual design, but I'm including it because it mentions support- and specifically breast support -not once, but twice. It also instructs ladies to measure their waists OUTSIDE their clothing- which will result in a larger measure even than we commonly use for custom corsets nowadays. note that a 2" lacing gap was common, per a corsetiere quoted in Valerie Steele's The Corset: A Cultural History)
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(Flexibility and comfort, yet again.)
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(Rather a ridiculous one, including the implication that you need an elegant corset to snare a husband and therefore economic security and love, but the bottom left text says "What an improvement the Madam Warren corset. And how comfortable.")
so we've clearly got comfort, support, and ease of movement at the forefront of the average consumer's mind, for so many ads to mention such thing. a number also don't have much text at all:
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(The Celebrated EEE is my hypothetical burlesque name, but I digress.)
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of the first twenty random ads that come up when I do an image search for "corset advertisement," eleven mention health and/or comfort, and only one directly mentions waist reduction- while advertising, again, a separate specialty "reducing" corset.
am I saying it never happened? absolutely not. I have NEVER been saying that. tightlacing did happen. obviously reducing corsets existed. I would not deny any of this
am I saying that, clearly, support and comfort were thought so high on the average corset-wearer's priority list that manufacturers played to those attributes more than waist reduction when constructing/advertising corsets, implying that they are NOT, in fact, the same thing as a Kim K waist cincher? yes
(file under: things I cannot believe I have to fucking say, and yet here we are)
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olive-fics · 7 months
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨-Harvest of Hearts-Abby Anderson Headcanons-୧ ⋆ ˚。⋆
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I'm sorry I can't help myself with October and my Abby Anderson head-canons tbh..hdsfkjhf
- Also this makes up for the fact I wont be doing KinkTober -`♡´-
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-October held a special place in Abby's heart; it was her absolute favorite time of the year. She adored the crisp autumn air, the rich tapestry of colors that painted the landscape, and above all else, the enchanting magic of Halloween.
-Abby cherished the moments she spent with you, her girlfriend, in your shared love for autumn. Some of her most treasured activities with you included Pumpkin Patch Dates, Haunted House adventures, Apple Picking, cozy Movie Marathons, and dreamy nights of stargazing.
Pumpkin Patch Date: Abby would insist on an early start, knowing that the morning sun cast a warm, golden glow over the pumpkin patch. It was the best time to choose the healthiest and most vibrant pumpkins for carving.
-As you would wander through the pumpkin patch, she'd giggle affectionately when you picked out pumpkins with quirky shapes, unusual spots, or even ones with multicolored splotches.
-She'd suggest taking polaroid photos of each other holding the chosen pumpkins, capturing your smiles and the sunlight filtering through the leaves from the mostly barren trees.
Haunted Houses: Haunted houses held a special place in Abby's heart, and the anticipation built throughout the year was her favorite. It wasn't merely the chilling thrills or the eerie ambiance that drew her in; what excited her the most was seeing your scared face and when you clung onto her after someone in a cheesy mask jumped out at you two.
-To comfort you Abby would let you squeeze her hand and she would do the thing where she rubs her thumb over your fingers. Her touch was not just comforting but almost therapeutic, she made sure you were okay throughout the house with soft pecks and giggles.
-When startled by actors in costume, Abby wouldn't just scream, she'd also burst into laughter, turning the scares into a shared joke between you two.
Apple Picking: Abby fucking loves apples, there's no way. Abby's excitement for apple picking was contagious, and she wanted to ensure that your day in the orchard was nothing short of perfect. She'd insist on an early morning start, well before the orchard's gates opened to the public. It wasn't just about the freshness of the apples; it was about the serene ambiance of the early hours, the gentle sunlight filtering through the trees, and the crispness in the air that made it the ideal time for picking.
-Abby would gently coax you into parting your lips as she playfully stuffed the apple into your mouth making you share one with her, giggling.
-Abby paid close attention to your preferences, and if you had a specific type of apple you favored, she'd make it her mission to seek out and handpick only those varieties
Movie Marathons: Abby made sure to remember your preferences on scary movies so she could make a list to watch with you..
-The couch or bed would be adorned with a multitude of plush pillows and a couple of cozy blankets for you both to snuggle into. Abby had a way of making you feel at ease, she often became your preferred pillow since you got easily scared at these movies..
-Abby held you even closer, her arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders. She made sure to comfort you when you shook or gasped. Abby's grip would tighten briefly, as if to say, "I'm here", and "I've got you hon."
-If you fell asleep during the movies she wouldn't even be disappointed because she knew you were like this when all snuggled up and cozy..
Stargazing: Abby would lay out blankets on the grass, creating a cozy nest for both of you to snuggle into. The softness of the blankets and the warmth of her presence was all you needed.
Abby would hold you close kissing your forehead and whispering soft compliments and sighs.
Sometimes if it was damp out Abby would set up blankets and pillows just like she would in the fields and do it in the 'bed' of her pickup truck..
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Okay this was really lazy, I have a headache and I need to write smth about mechanic Ellie (?)
I love Abby and October so I needed to write my fav head-cannons.. There's probably a bunch of spelling errors but..whateverr...
Okay bye bye!! -`♡´-
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