#the notes aren't so much actual differences between them but rather just details that i noticed while drawing

[skwc]

my brain struggles to 'conjure the apple' so i wanted to look at some of their different models

#yakuza #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #like a dragon #majima goro #kiryu kazuma #skwc #generalizing a little so that it didnt end up being like... 20 heads... #it's interesting to see how their appearance changes even from one game to the next though #the notes aren't so much actual differences between them but rather just details that i noticed while drawing #um im kind of embarrassed now don't read all that shit

[checkoutmybookshelf]

The Quartet That Started It All

As followers of this blog will note, this is not actually the quartet that started it all for me, but it DID launch author Tamora Pierce's career in the 1980s, and Alanna remains absolutely beloved among Pierce's heroines. Let's talk the Song of the Lioness Quartet.

In a classic case of "if I can't do this as a girl, then I'll do this as a boy and I have a handy twin brother to go full Twelfth Night with," Alanna of Trebond begins The First Adventure by dressing as a boy to train as a page in Tortall's royal court. This book introduces all our main characters and establishes Alan the page amongst his peers and Alanna as she finds herself and her place in chivalry.

One of the other amazing things about Alanna's story overall is that she begins it absolutely terrified of her own magical gift. Her arc includes learning to work with her magic rather than to fear it, and that's a twist on magic users that I really appreciated. We often get overly confident magic users--indeed, we'll get TWO of them later in the series--but it's rare that we get magic users who are fully aware of their powers and are still absolutely terrified of them. So of course, the story and the world and Pierce herself keep throwing Alanna into situations where she has no choice but to develop and use her gift. It's so, so good. This first book covers Alanna's page years, and we move into her squire years in book two.

In the Hand of the Goddess really expands on Alanna's key relationship with Prince Jon on Conte, Duke Roger of Conte, and Geroge Cooper. Alanna moves into a wider world of adult politics and stakes in this book. From being able to defeat an older, stronger, and more experienced opponent in a duel to developing her healing skills when a wound puts her out of commission during a war, Alanna cements her skills, connections, and position in society. This culminates with unmasking Roger as an attempting regicide and the accidental reveal of her gender.

This book is really, really good, and extends Alanna's childhood fear of magic to her fear of Roger specifically in a really natural, logical way. I could say more about the details, but these two books have an episodic vibe to them, so I won't spend too much time exploring every single key plot event.

The Woman Who Rides Like a Man sees Alanna spending her first year as a knight in the desert, with a Bazhir tribe. She becomes their shaman by way of self-defense; she murders their first shaman when he tries to murder her for "being unnatural." Then it falls to Alanna to train three magic users for the tribe, and this is where we see more nuance into how different magic users relate to their powers, from sheer hubris to fear to "this is just part of me, let's do this." It's a phenomenal experience for Alanna, and she learns as much from her students as they do

Book three also sees Jonathan bitching to hell and back about having to be king, which is not a great look, and it's one Alanna calls him on. He spends most of the book alternating between pitching a hissy fit, begging Alanna to marry him, and training to take over as Voice of the Tribes. The interesting thing here is that Alanna refuses to marry Jon. He is trying to fit Alanna into his own fairy tale, and she very much goes "That isn't our relationship, I can't do that. We aren't meant to be like that, and that's ok." If I could inject that lesson into humanity's collective head, I would. It's well done and it's great.

Lioness Rampant picks up on Alanna's travels after she leaves the Bazhir, and eventually sees her return to Corus with a magical artifact to help secure Jonathan's position as king.

There's also the teeny tiny complication that Alanna's twin brother, Thom, has resurrected Duke Roger. Absolute chaos ensues, and Roger almost manages to take out the entire court during Jonathan's coronation. Nobody should have to kill an evil sorceror twice, but Alanna did.

If you want to dive into Tamora Pierce's Tortall Universe, starting with Alanna is absolutely a good choice. These books hold a very soft spot in my heart, and they're never not engaging.

#tamora pierce #the song of the lioness #the first adventure #in the hand of the goddess #the woman who rides like a man #lioness rampant #alanna of trebond #jonathan of conte #ya fantasy #books & libraries #books and reading #books and novels #book recommendations #books

[dragonheart2497]

things twitter migrants may find useful that dont often get included in "how to tumblr" posts

1- queueing!

instead of feeling bad for spam-reblogging and clogging up other people's feeds, you can click the dropdown and add it to your queue instead!

you can edit how many times a day your queue posts, and between what hours. You can easily re-order or completely shuffle your queue as well!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG STUFF. Tumblr doesn't run on an algorithm!! YOU are responsible for putting cool stuff onto your followers feeds!

"but if i reblog too much people can't see my posts!" i have just the thing for you

2- personal tags

You can have different tags you use on your blog to help people navigate! for example, i use "dh rb art" when I reblog art and "dh rb" for most other reblogs- that's so that people can filter my reblogs out of their feeds if they dont wanna see that, and only want my original posts to show up.

On the other hand, my art is tagged "dh2497" so they can easily search my account for it!

If you open a person's blog and click the search button, a list of Featured Tags will show up. By default this is just the blogger's most used tags, but you can customize what shows up on yours in your blog settings

You can follow entire hashtags too! if you wanna see hermitcraft fanart without following every hermitcraft artist, follow the tag :D

3- Filtering

Tumblr actually hides things you don't wanna see, very nicely!

In your account settings, you can filter specific tags, and even specific words that show up in the post.

sometimes different bloggers warning tag differently (i do [trigger] tw or [content] cw) so you can try to input every variant, but if its something you really want to avoid just put it in the post content as well. Blocklists aren't really a tumblr thing, so if you wanna avoid an entire community you can block their tag as well

NEVER. CENSOR. YOUR WARNINGS. PLEASE. On twitter or tiktok or wherever, you may have to do that or else the algorithm suppresses it- THERES NO ALGORITHM HERE!!! if someone reblogs your post, it will show up for others, don't worry!!! you're just bypassing filters placed for people's safety, if you censor words.

Also! don't worry too much if a word you wanna filter is commonly used in unrelated contexts- tumblr doesn't remove it entirely, but rather adds a 'spoiler' so that you have to click on it to view it. So just in case it is what you want to avoid, you have time to prepare to see it.

4- effective tagging

[read more in detail here] Only the first 5 tags will show up for people who follow the hashtag. That makes them the most important! Then, the first 20 tags will make the post show up when searching that tag. The rest of them do not give your post any visibility.

I see a lot of people reblogging art with fanart tags- that can be useful for searching back the tag in the reblogger's blog specifically, but doesn't actually give the OP more visibility in that tag.

You'll learn what tags to use by checking the content you come across! most communities are "[word]blr", and most fanart goes "#[character/show] fanart". tumblr tags can have spaces!

Lastly, a few notes

you will only have 1 PRIMARY blog. this will appear when you like a post, comment on a post, or follow a blog. your sideblogs will not link back to your primary blog, but you cannot do those interactions as those sideblogs.

artists love receiving compliments when you reblog!! commenting does NOT boost the post. most people put their compliments in the TAGS of their reblog, so that it doesn't become a long post/thread, and if people reblog the reblog of your reblog you won't keep gettings notifications about it. The artist will still see and very much appreciate it

read up on tumblr etiquette, do not treat this place like twitter or you'll be disliked lol. there are some 'big blogs' but follower counts aren't public, popularity isn't a contest here. make friends, or just block/ignore people you don't get along with. no one cares about your petty arguments

if you noticed the lil cat in my screenshots, that's from a very useful browser extension called XKit!! it enables 1-click queue reblogs (automatically adding your tags), mass-post editing, and lots of other great tweaks vanilla tumblr doesn't have! and the cat is a silly cute thing you can enable in it as well

#hermitblr #trafficblr #empiresblr #hermittwt #traffictwt #how to use tumblr #how to tag on tumblr #tumblr help #i didnt mean for this to be a whole tutorial thing but if it helps one person it's worth the hour i spent on this

[eliyips]

Can i ask how u do lineart so well,, it looks so smooth,,

I've always been very big on keeping my lineart clean and smooth! :) I'm very inspired by comic and graphic novel illustration, so naturally, I try to take notes from that sort of aesthetic in a lot of my art.

The short answer is that I just have a lot of practice, and am very picky about how my lineart looks. So, I'll often spend a long time making sure it looks just how I'd like it, before moving on, even if the lines aren't necessarily going to be the focus of the final drawing.

The longer answer kinda depends on what lineart you're asking about! The style of my lineart tends to change to fit whatever mood I'm going for, so I have a lot of different line styles with varying levels of smooth-ness.

On the super-smooth end of the spectrum, we have these bubbly, cartoony lines! These are a pain to draw, to be honest. But they really contribute to giving that cute look :) For these, I used the Clip Studio Paint G-Pen, with some minor adjustments to the settings, mainly so that there's not too much line width variation. The uniform, thick lines are important for this look! :) Drawing in this style really just a lot of trial and error. Usually when doing lineart, I'll erase away at lines to get them to the right thickness, or even just clean up a sketch and call that lineart, rather than doing lines on a new layer. But, that's a lot harder to do when the line thickness has to stay consistent. So, I end up just drawing the same line 7 times over, un-doing my work and re-doing it until i'm satisfied. Again, it's a pain! I used to draw like this a lot more frequently, but I stopped because I found that other approaches are often a lot more satisfying and rewarding. This is still great, for that cutesy look, though.

Next, we have what I would affectionately call my ref sheet lines. As much as it's probably a bad idea, I have a habit of just kinda skipping the lining stage of art. I'll just take my sketch, and tidy it up until it's clean enough. But for a drawing where there's only going to be flat colors, that sort of roughness can look sloppy, In my opinion. So, particularly when doing ref sheets, or other art which I don't intend to render, I will actually go through the effort of fully sketching out my idea and lining on a separate layer. The result is a lot cleaner and more deliberate, and looks a lot nicer when colored! Especially if I take the time to color the lineart :) I also really like doing small details with thin lines, particularly body/facial hair, elastic cuffs on clothing, and the seams of clothes, too. I like drawing those little details a lot, and I think they shine the most in my cleaner line style :D

For this, and for most of my lineart, I use these brushes which you can find on the Clip Studio Asset Store:

I'll bounce back and fourth between these, and Kozmo's Scratchy Scribbler brush, which you can find on Ko-fi!

Additionally, I have a modified G-Pen with a pencil texture that I think I made myself? I don't remember making it, but I also don't know where it came from! So i guess I did, lol.

A little more messy than my ref-sheet lines, we have the line style which you probably see most often on my page. As mentioned before, I usually kinda skip the sketch step for these? I don't encourage that, it's a bad habit of mine. But I make it work! I feel like the best way to explain my process with this is to just offer you a timelapse of my lineart process:

I just kinda... go. and it works out! most of the time. lots of cleanup and tweaking, and as you can see with Bdubs and Etho here, sometimes I do actually just. do a sketch and then line over it. So maybe I have no idea what my own process even is, LOL.

Now, to completely abandon your original question here's how i don't do smooth lineart! :D In this style, for the most part, I ignore the cleanliness of my lines, only really erasing with the lasso fill tool, when lines get too cluttered to actually read. Usually I'll only go for this when I'm already planning on painting over the lines. Because sometimes an idea doesn't need or want clean lines, and sometimes I just want to paint some values or slap some colors together and call it a day. Love my clean lines, but scratchy, messy lines are fun too! :)

Not sure if any of this really explained how i do smooth lineart, but I sure did talk about lineart for a while. I hope you could find something interesting or insightful in here! :) thanks for the ask, and I hope you have a great day <3

#inbox #digital art #art process #timelapse #lineart #another ~1k words on my art process? #yippee!!! #askeliyips #ask

[thessalian]

Thess vs Junior Doctors

A quick break from the Cavalcade of Liveblog to discuss one of the banes of my existence. No, not exorbitantly long bits of typing.

...Actually, yes, those too, but more along the lines of who's doing them and how badly they fuck up. Basically we have a few new junior doctors in and two of them made the earlier part of my day absolute hell.

So when I went to pick up some typing when I logged in this morning, it was big chunks of three- and four-minute ones, and two around the fucking twenty minute mark. Which ... I mean ... that could simply not be right. Right? Just in case, I only took a few, plus those two nightmare dictations (because gods know no one else was going to touch them) and got to work.

The one that listed as 21 minutes was, thankfully, not that long. It makes sense when you realise that sometimes, people will simply forget to stop recording when they're done with their dictation, so you get however long extra of background noise. But you still have to listen to it juuust in case. Unless someone was smart enough to edit the dictation to add, "It actually ends here; I forgot to stop recording, sorry!", anyway. This one, though? Junior doctor, did not remember. It was kind of helpful for the first couple of minutes because she actually properly dictated the block key she kind of handwaved earlier in the dictation. The other ten minutes? Not so much.

The one that was nineteen and a bit minutes, on the other hand, was wall-to-wall dictation that needed typing. Thing is? It was on two separate cases. Now, I know you're not supposed to do that, because it messes up various bits of data and makes it harder to go back and listen if something went exceptionally wrong in the dictation. And he knew he wasn't supposed to do that. But he did it anyway. And then had the audacity to go, "Now, make sure those aren't all typed in the same place, because they're two different reports". OMG GET FUCKED, DUDE. I think that was the only time he did it but dear gods.

Neither junior doctor was particularly ... erm ... organised in their dictation. Constantly jumping back and forth through the dictation, and even after the block keys I ended up with notes going, "Oh, could you go back and add--?" GO BACK TO WHERE?!? Sometimes it was an intuitive thing, but often it just wasn't. Hell, Dr Double Dictation up there actually did a short bit of dictation to specifically add in details he missed from another report (though at ieast I only had to type the addition, not the whole report; Temp finally got saddled with one, though it was a comparatively short one).

Of course, jumping around in the dictation is not anything new. There's one senior doctor - he likes me because I can generally get his stuff done properly, but while he's a very nice guy, I would sometimes rather pull out my own fingernails than type his mess - who has this thing of "let's get the short ones out of the way first and then do the long one" whenever there's more than one sample in his dictation. And there's always more than one sample in his dictation. Generally there are anywhere between four and ten samples in the stuff he dictates (he specialises in breast stuff). So I have to finish a long list of little ones and then go all the way back to the top of the damn dictation - not exactly the easiest thing in the world to do on a laptop and with the system we're currently using - and type up the longer bit of it. I mean, it's not the end of the world or anything, but it throws me off my stride and frustrates that part of me that wants things done in order.

I know they're learning. It's just that because they're focusing on learning how to do a macroscopic report, they're not exactly bothered about the trouble they're causing a secretary when they don't learn the general formatting. It's the same as the new techs who keep forgetting that if there are fragments of tissue in the sample along with the big samples, you have to say that in the body of the report. You don't just tack that information onto the block key. So even some of the shorter ones take me longer than they have to because I have to go back and add "plus fragments" to half their reports.

Don't mind me; just tired and fed up with basically everything. I was hoping having had actual lunch would help me not feel quite so ... hating everything, but nope.

Gods, and I don't get time off until September...

#Thess has a day job

[slightly-nerdy-rambles]

Kim Possible, the Tempus Simia, and fun with timey-wimey stuff

So, those of you who follow my blog will know that I recently finished Spoiler Alert, a Kim Possible fanfic following Kim and Ron's kid Max as he accidentally follows a vengeful Monkey Fist into the past and not-so-accidentally teams up with the past versions of his parents to stop the latter's shenanigans. Anyone who's read the fic will also know that I wanted to talk a little about how exactly I envision the Tempus Simia affecting the timestream and how that relates to its canon appearance in A Sitch in Time. For those of you who want to read the fic and haven't reached the point where I bring that up in the author's notes, you might want to turn back now: what follows is going to be rather, well, spoilery. It's also going to be rather long, so I hope some of you like detailed headcanons, lol

So, to refresh, A Sitch in Time follows a villain team-up using the Tempus Simia, aka time monkey, for time travel shenanigans as well as a team-up between the "present" day Team Possible and a future resistance using something called chrono-manipulators to chase after them. All good and well, but the time travel rules seem to... change over the course of the special. Rufus 3000 refers to the time stream as "polluted" and "in flux" and we see a ripple effect of the past changing in Ron's scrapbook, yet it's later revealed that Shego's meddling in the past caused Ron to move and thus disrupted Team Possible enough for the time monkey to get stolen in the first place, suggesting a stable time loop. Likewise, Kim, Ron and Rufus going to the future apparently removes them from the normal flow of time until they pop out of their destination time portal, yet somehow Rufus was able to have thousands of "descendants" (I'm assuming clones of some sort, but either way) at some point presumably after Shego took over. This isn't really all that unusual for a time travel story, considering the mind-bendy and paradox-happy nature of messing with chronology, but that doesn't mean that we as fans can't try to come up with a creative explanation. So what gives?

Well, okay, those of you who read the author's note already know what (in my interpretation) gives: the two time machines we see in that special use different forms of time travel. Namely, the Tempus Simia creates stable time loops (hence that being what we see in Spoiler Alert) while the chrono-manipulators can actually change the past to influence the future. And when these two forms of time travel come into conflict, things can get... weird.

So in my mind, there are roughly three different timelines that give us A Sitch in Time, with the latter ones overwriting the former. We'll call them timelines A, B, and C, with most of the special taking place in timeline B.

Timeline A is a fully stable time loop, with only the Tempus Simia in play, so it would chronologically start with the villains meddling in the past -- but we'll get to that later. Our starting point would be pretty much what we see in the "present" part of the special: Ron moves away due to Shego's later scheme, and with him either not present or "out of synch" with her, Kim isn't able to stop the villain quartet from putting the Tempus Simia together and escaping into the time stream. Drakken puts into motion his plan of crushing a younger Kim's spirit, and he, Monkey Fist and Duff Killigan turn themselves into toddlers to infiltrate Kim's preschool. This almost fails immediately, because the people in the preschool office aren't going to just let some unregistered and unsupervised kids waltz into a classroom (more on that later), but they later manage to sneak into the playground during recess. They torment toddler Kim a little bit, toddler Ron intervenes, they switch targets to him which awakens her kick-butt instinct -- basically at this point, it's the same thing we saw except for the absence of a time-travelling teen Kim.

After seeing that mundane bullying didn't work, the villain team skips ahead to the day of Kim's first mission to try again. Without the added pressure of time-travelling heroes, Monkey Fist and Killigan are just barely willing to let Drakken try his spirit-crushing plan again. But his overly-complicated plan of approaching Kim as preteens, distracting her from the laser grid mission, and planting seeds of doubt that will cause her to muck it up if she does ever get there fails at pretty much every turn.

It's at about this point that future Shego approaches her "present" self and tells her to grab the time monkey and go, which she does. It doesn't take much experimenting for her to figure out why the guys have so utterly failed with it: the Tempus Simia can't change the past, and the villains' meddling might even be part of the reason Kim was encouraged to go into crime-fighting. From here, Shego starts to get creative: using foreknowledge to make enough money to fund her schemes, putting evil think tanks together in times when nobody knows to go after her, and even figuring out that she was the one who got Ron's family to move away and proceeding to do just that.

With new resources in hand and Team Possible effectively broken up, Shego gets down to business. Being much more practically minded than her death trap-loving ex-employer, she returns to the present, catches Kim and later Ron by surprise when they're alone, and actually manages to kill them. Rufus escapes, but Shego figures that she won't have to worry about him or Wade so long as Kim and Ron are gone. So she gathers her legion of henchmen, attack drones, and obedience collars, starts storming the world one city at a time... and wins.

Of course, pockets of resistance form over the next twenty years, with the most prominent being led by the friends and family of our fallen heroes. Rufus and Wade use the former's DNA to "breed" a small army of hyper-intelligent semi-clones to boost the resistance's numbers, and between that, their location near the Supreme One's headquarters, and the resistance members' various skills and gadgets, they actually stand a fighting chance... Except that every attack on Shego's fortress is thwarted after a seemingly unnatural degree of anticipation on her end. As it happens, Shego has gotten into the habit of going back in time to warn herself before every attack against her, letting her retroactively prepare.

The resistance eventually figures out that time travel is involved in the Supreme One's wild successes (not that she's doing much to keep it a secret), and Wade gets to work on devising a counter. The result is the chrono-manipulators, though nobody realizes they work differently (some might say better) than the Tempus Simia. Since the resistance isn't clear on exactly how Shego used the Tempus Simia to take over, they decide to start by going back twenty years to rescue Kim and Ron and recruiting them to stop the original villain team's mucking around in the past. So starts timeline B, and again, most of what we see in the special.

The thing is, a key aspect of the Tempus Simia is stability. It "wants" the timestream to stay the same, even as the chrono-manipulators "want" to change it. So the timestream starts shifting around a little, but keeps the same broad strokes. New time portal gives everyone around the preschool a wave of disorienting deja-vu? The preschool attendants are distracted just long enough for the toddler-ified villains to slip in before class starts, but their extra bullying time doesn't change what happens at recess (though it does change the class picture). Killigan and Monkey Fist get antsy and shoot down Drakken's plan B? The Tempus Simia slaps together a new time loop in which Monkey Fist steals a guardian statue that would have been shortly destroyed anyway, so the only "change" is that it disappears into the timestream to be lasered later rather than getting swept away by a flood or something (and meanwhile, preteen Kim and Ron succeed in their mission and survive the statue's attack). Kim and Ron start time-travelling and eventually head into the future? They would have died around that time anyway, so now they just disappear into the timestream to the same basic result. Rufus also disappears into the timestream? The resistance somehow manages to get ahold of DNA he left behind and start making clones anyway.

Then things really get weird when the Tempus Simia breaks. Its whole stability thing means that the universe is safe from implosion... but that kind of damage also has the effect of erasing the Tempus Simia from history entirely. Ironically, it's the only way for it to change the past -- time is rewritten so that the creation of the Tempus Simia was abandoned at the last moment, and any loops caused by its use are erased as well. The time stream manages to keep itself in shape by once again smoothing over the time-loop changes so that the broad outcome is still the same: that guardian statue goes back to getting destroyed in a flood, someone who had helped Shego found her bank does the founding personally, Kim befriends Ron and finds her inner fire after dealing with a different bully in preschool, and so on. This "smoothing over" gets weaker as the timeline approaches the point where the Tempus Simia was grabbed by the baddies, though, and by the time it reaches Ron moving away, the bank his mom works at just doesn't have any reason to send her and her family to Norway. And so the future is saved, and we finally reach timeline C.

But the Tempus Simia has one last trick up its metaphorical sleeve: just as it "wants" to keep the timeline stable, so too does it "want" to exist. This may not have even been the first time it was destroyed and rebuilt, not that anyone would know with the overwritten timelines. And so, a paltry few years after the end of the Supreme One's reign and the last point in time in which its previous iteration existed, a Monkey Fist who is feeling very displaced in time gets the idea that "time" may just be the answer to his woes...

#Kim Possible #Spoiler Alert #fanfiction #headcanons #A Sitch in Time #Shego #Monkey Fist #holy crud this thing got long #now you know why it took me so long to finish whoops #I... I think too much about my headcanons okay

[peggyrose19]

o'darwin ballroom dance au thoughts for you all cause i was at competition all weekend and then had a 6 hour car ride home

(basic ballroom info can be found at the end under the cut)

the three of them are all partners together and just switch out depending on the style. nat and alex do rhythm and latin, nat and kasey do standard, and alex and kasey do smooth. but if 3-person ballroom was a thing they'd be excellent at it (a side note - competitions do fun dances after each style and our last one was group latin, so my 3 coaches did it together and gave me this idea cause it was adorable) (want to be clear coaches are platonic friends this specifically was just very o'darwin coded)

alex styles his hair very casually, basically just the way it falls normally but aggressively hair sprayed into place. kasey slicks his back into a neat bun. kasey does nat’s hair for her, pulling it back in a twist back into a fancy ballroom bun with lil sparklies to accessorize

my former coach’s partner has a smooth jacket that’s - well idk if it’s actually velvet cause that’d be quite heavy for dance - but a velvet like texture and it’s subtly shiny under the lights and i imagine alex wearing that for smooth. paired with kasey, in something classic but maybe with some subtle detailing? rip

nat’s latin dress is black with gold detailing. the skirt is a high to low style and it’s super cute and bouncy. her standard dress is long and i wanna go royal blue. maybe red. or green. some bright royal shade. it’s got this beautiful full skirt and she has ribbons on cuffs she attaches to her wrists for certain dances. the dress has silver gemstone detailing on the bodice

they stay in a hotel for competitions and share soft sleepy kisses in the elevator up on the way back, heavy bags hanging off their shoulders. alex insists on carrying nat’s costumes for her (he’d carry her bag too but he doesn’t have enough arms for that)

cheering each other on from the sidelines and the two dancing always smile at their third when they hear/spot them

social dancing and nat is laughing while kasey twirls her all around, alex watching from the side, falling more in love with each laugh and smile from the two of them

falling into bed with each other, all soft hands and quiet giggles. they have passionate and rougher times too but in my head o’darwin are just so somft with each other. alex carefully taking nat’s shirt off and kissing each inch of bare skin he uncovers. kasey standing behind her with gentle hands on her hips, nosing at her neck. alex and kasey taking turns fucking nat and it’s different with both but just as good. alex getting his mouth on kasey and reveling in the sounds he makes

nat steals alex's sweatpants constantly. they fit better than kasey's so she steals his sweatshirts instead. kasey and nat steal each other's hair elastics, one of them always has one on hand

the three of them aren't like all over each other at competition, looking at them you might not guess they were romantically together rather than just dance partners, but you can tell they have a connection with each other through their dancing and know each other well. when partners actually like and know each other it shows and makes it that much better to watch. but if you paid close enough attention (not sure why anyone would but) you'd be able to see the quick kisses and gentle intimate moments between the three of them between rounds

now i'd put them in open, so they wouldn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn like us poor syllabus dancers (rip me), but if they were partners back then:

bb college alex and kasey partnering together kasey's first year (i put alex maybe a year older), and falling for each other towards the end of the year semester. they're never together, not really, but they've kissed and had sex and are close despite the complication of whatever it is their feelings are. kasey transfers schools after his freshman year and they're both devastated but they can't do a whole lot about it. they promise to keep in touch, but it's hard

at his new school, kase meets and partners up with natalie who's a freshman and new to ballroom. he's so shy and awkward around her at first, but he's patient and helps her learn. soon they become good friends and kasey gets less awkward. kasey is terrified to let himself fall for her after falling for alex, but he can't help it; nat is just so bright and delightful, and he finds himself spending hours outside of practice with her, just enjoying each other's company. nat - i don't wanna say wears him down cause that implies she pressured him, it's more she makes her own feelings known, respects his boundaries, and lets kasey sort his own feelings out on his time. together, they eventually decide to start dating, after kasey allows nat to kiss him late one night, saying he just wants to know, but really he's just too scared to say it outright. natalie is the one who asks if he'll be her official boyfriend. he agrees

anyway. back to 5am wake up times. comp starts at 8am, doors open at 7, and if you're in the first few rounds like they would be, that's when you arrive, hair and makeup already mostly ready if you can. nat and kasey staying together for their first competition and it's the first night they've spent together. they're bleary-eyed and exhausted, still new to their relationship, but there's sleepy kisses and gentle touches as they help each other get ready

they compete at bronze and do quite well, especially for natalie's first ever comp. i made my dear newcomer partner dance up to bronze because i've really danced too long to be in newcomer still, and she did great. anyway. it's a smaller comp, only one day. they don't place in anything, but they advance past the first round in every dance they compete, which is still very good

it's a long day for them both, but a fun one. a lot of time spent at ballroom competitions is standing around waiting for results. so there's a lot of that. they sit with the rest of their team ofc. it's a good bonding exercise

i have more thoughts but this is long enough as is so i'll stop for now cause it's nearly 2am and i really need to be asleep. i meant for this to just be headcanons and now it's gaining a plot. ah well

apologies if these don't make sense, i was awake for 20 hours straight sunday and wrote half of them in the car. i've been recovering since. also today i took a 2hr nap at 7pm and now here we are nearing 2am

ballroom basics for those who are very lost

ballroom is split into four styles for competitions:

standard: international waltz, intl tango, intl foxtrot, quickstep, intl viennese waltz

smooth: american waltz, am tango, am foxtrot, am v waltz

latin: intl cha cha, intl rumba, samba, jive, paso doble

rhythm: am cha cha, am rumba, east coast swing, mambo, bolero

in the international dances, you aren't allowed to separate from your partner. you stay in frame - hands clasped basically - the whole time. in american style, you are allowed to separate. there's other differences to some, but that's the major one. rumba, foxtrot, and tango are the ones that are most different.

collegiate competitions have two levels: syllabus and open

syllabus: there's a specific list of moves you are allowed to do at each level. the levels go newcomer, bronze, silver, gold.

open: you can basically do what you want. there are no specific guidelines to the steps you can do. within reason, i mean, you can't just start doing an entirely separate dance. this is when it gets really fun to watch. the levels go novice, pre-champ, champ.

some competitions will let you cross-register, which basically means you can compete at multiple levels. many also compete different styles at different levels, allowed at all competitions, because learning that many dances well is quite difficult and takes a lot of time.

after newcomer dances will start being paired. so if you compete one, you must compete the other. common ones at bronze are intl waltz/quickstep, am waltz/tango, and cha cha/rumba. those were all paired at my competition this past weekend. starting in gold, they'll put three or four dances paired. at open, all dances are paired. so for example, a standard event in all open levels would include intl waltz, tango, foxtrot, and quickstep. each couple would have to dance all four. then separately they would have a syllabus v waltz event, which is open to anyone.

though hosted and mostly attended by college teams, anyone is allowed to enter a collegiate competition. once you get to the higher levels, especially open, most dancers are not still college students. you can't get that good in four years, so if they are college-age they would've had to start beforehand. those who don't register with a team are generally just put in as unaffiliated. schools are registered under the school. coaches can register through the school they coach for as well, if they register together. my coaches have done both. this doesn't really make a difference. mostly just a way of organization more than anything. we still claim my former coach as our own despite her now living and working in a different state and coaching a different team with her partner. we don't like him. i digress.

i hope this helped anyone if you bothered to read it

#o'darwin #ballroom au #o'darwin ballroom au #ballroom headcanons #alex o'hara #kasey winter #natalie darcy #lumosinlove #sweater weather #vaincre #audrey talks dance #or well #rambles more like

[ellies-cycling-notes]

Day 17: Findley State Park to Van Buren State Park

Distance Covered: 81.27 miles

Total Time (including rests): 7:10 (8:03am-3:13pm)

Time spent riding: 6:22

Average Speed: 12.8 mph

Apples Eaten: 4 (fuji - 7/10, fuji - 6/10, fuji - 7/10, fuji - 5/10)

Today's ride was another boring, yet alright, one. It was basically 80 miles straight West from one State Park to another, only going North or South to switch to less busy roads. The entire ride was on various state roads and side roads, most of which had rather good pavement. I made rather good time for a few reasons. There was the good pavement as mentioned, and then also I had a tailwind for most of the ride, and thirdly, this ride was really flat. I barely had to switch gears at all, and when I did, it was more likely to be because of a sudden change in wind making the ride too hard or too easy, rather than because of going up or down a hill. The weather was also really nice, barely getting above 70 Fahrenheit, and oftentimes cloudy for miles on end.

I stopped twice on the ride, once about half-way through, and once only 10 miles from my campsite. I wanted to not take that second stop at all, but I was getting really hungry and didn't want to hold off on lunch.

Today's ride's main focus was on conserving the battery on my phone. One of my power banks is dead, and I think I might have to use my laptop as a power bank to get my phone fully charged for tomorrow. Because of that, I took various measures on the ride to extend my phone's power. For one, the fewer number of stops meant I spent less time just sitting looking at my phone (of course, that didn't really matter in the end because it meant I arrived at my campsite earlier, and this would have more time reading stuff on my phone). I also kept my phone's brightness as low as I could, and even turned off my maps whenever I was about to be on a straightaway for several miles, only turning it back on again when I believed myself to be close to the next turn.

I saw a few interesting birds on today's ride. In addition to the normal ones, I also saw a peacock on a front porch, a vulture by a field, a bird I think was a hummingbird (it was moving too quickly for me to be sure), and what I think was pheasants in a yard. Apart from those, today's ride didn't really have anything that stood out, which is kinda what I expected, biking across rural Ohio.

Design Notes

Today's notes are probably going to be short (I don't actually know, I have a few key points that I wrote down during the ride, but most of the substance has yet to be written).

I've been thinking about character stats/ability scores. This train of thought comes from 2 places.

1) Yesterday's ruminations on Procedural Generation got me thinking about Characters, Inc. again, in which each character has 6 (maybe 5, I can't remember) stats that affect how well they do in a dungeon. I'll go more into detail later in this section, because I spent a lot of time specifically thinking about Characters, Inc.

2) I've been reading LitRPGs, which are a fantasy sub-genre where the fantasy world has game-like elements, often including ability scores.

Ability Scores

I understand the necessity of ability scores in games in order to simplify complex systems of the world, but there's always something about them that feels awkward. There's always too much overlap between certain abilities, or cases where it doesn't make much sense for you to automatically become better at multiple unrelated things. For example, bench pressing should increase your Strength, but in most games that would also increase your leg power, even though they're different muscles. With that being said, I do enjoy the use of ability scores as measures of characters that aren't directly controlled by players, because then those abilities end up being used in more broad stroke ways, and so it makes more sense. For example, if you have a character with high dexterity, you can't guarantee that they'll succeed at a certain parkour move, but if you give them an entire parkour course, they'll probably complete it more quickly than someone with a lower dexterity score. That brings me to my discussion of Characters, inc.

In Characters Inc, you the player send a party of characters out on a quest, and only receive the results of said quest. As such, this is the perfect place to make use of ability scores, as they can be used to broadly define a character's strengths. Here are the ability scores as I remember them in Characters, Inc. I will describe the ability and what it used to do, if I can remember, as well as what I would have them do if I was to remake the game.

Strength (STR) - Every quest in Characters, Inc has a hidden power level the party has to beat in order to complete the quest. STR contributes directly to meeting that power level. In addition, when distributing damage amongst the party, characters with more STR will have been targeted more by enemies, and so will receive a larger portion of the damage.

Agility (AGI) - I don't remember what this does in the original version of the game. If I was to remake it, it would have 2 main effects: it would influence how long it takes for a party to complete a quest, and it would act as a buffer relative to one's STR such that they are targeted less if they have high AGI.

Endurance (END) - Endurance directly impacts how much health a character has.

Toughness or Defense (TOU) - After getting assigned damage, TOU reduces the amount of damage that a character takes. If I remake the game, it might also increase the amount that the chosen character is targeted, because otherwise a high TOU character is useless without high STR.

Magic (MAG) - Similar to STR, this directly contributes to the power level of the quest. It also increases the chance the character is targeted, but at a much lower rate than STR. Thus, it pairs well with characters that have lower END or TOU.

Luck (LUCK) - Increase the rewards characters receive from the quest. Every quest has guaranteed rewards, but this stat increases the chance for additional gold and/or item rewards. In the original version, each character's luck was used independently to figure out additional gold and items, such that you could get at most +1 item per character. If I was to remake it, I'd probably have it that the character with the highest luck is taken as a base, and each other character's luck is added on to that, but not to the full amount.

That's all. There's no pics today, as the ride was rather bland and boring. Tomorrow I'm headed straight North to Ann Arbor. I hope the wind will've calmed down a bit by then, because I'd rather not ride 80+ miles with a headwind.

Previous -- Next

#blogpost

[speakeasy8]

[002] Fujii, K.

The songs we hear on this program were all performed live on the spot by Kaze (and requested by the host). He didn't know what's going to be requested beforehand so everything we hear is just him playing and singing from memory, which is why the lyrics to songs that aren't his may sometimes get a bit iffy, even if the performances themselves are heaven to the ears.

He's also not actually there in person at the station. It's a remote appearance that he made from Tokyo (I think the station the show was hosted at was in Osaka or something), since this was mid-2020.

Things mentioned in this radio show excerpt:

[Note: Pls ask first if you want to share this elsewhere]

- he joined the basketball team in his first couple of years in middle school but by his third year, he was the captain of the go-home-straight-after-school club

- high school was way too far from home (apparently it was a 2-hour commute by train one-way) for him to even consider after-school activities so the only club he joined was the Eng one which only required a once-a-week participation on Sunday, and might as well have been a ghost sorta club since it basically didn't do much else other than existed

- high school was pretty much like a music university with the kind of courses and lessons they offer (more than half the courses offered are music-based courses)

- couldn't be arsed to come up with lyrics for the second half of Kiriganai and so copied and pasted the first verse instead but it was hard to notice thanks to Yaffle's creativity and also the director of the MV

- working with Yaffle is a stimulating experience because the guy has interesting ideas and while they may not always see eye to eye with their individual ideas, it's always good to share different ideas

- he spent most of his middle school years fooling around with his friends (this wasn't detailed in the radio show itself so here's some extra info: in middle school he and a bunch of friends fancied themselves comics and came up with their own routines which they'd show the entire school and apparently they sucked because they got booed more than applauded)

- NaN-NaNw was written with the purpose of it being a debut song in mind, which he wrote in between the time when he graduated from high school to when he left Okayama for Tokyo

- he actually already has a huge repertoire of melodies that he composed with the intention of providing lyrics in English to at some point so now these unfinished songs exist in limbo with English-sounding gibberish as placeholder for proper lyrics

- he's also got some songs that he's written in Japanese from when he was still in high school

- his folks were pretty shocked that he could sing when he finally came out to them as a singer

- he's always had the intention to sing because even as a little kid he's always liked songs with vocals better than instrumentals but his parents (or rather his dad) seemed to think he'd be a pianist instead

- he's always been dead set on being a singer, never once entertained the idea of becoming a pianist

- thanks to growing up at a cafe where a lot of old Japanese music spanning across a number of genres was played 24/7, he probably has about a few hundred songs in his head that he can perform on the spot if asked, more if one also counted the ones where he only remembers the music and not the words

#藤井風 #fujii kaze #kaze fujii

[angelizs]

Hi hi its the curious anon again from the jade and azul ask !!,HEHR PLEASE DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTHY,I love reading long posts so I enjoyed it very much and I loved reading it!!,you honestly had me going /YES YEA THIS/ the whole way through 😂 and if you wanna go off about their designs plea please do!! 🥺,

I dont have too many thoughts to share /myself/ however except maybe a silly one thats a lil shippy on how floyd would call is s/o their actual name and flipflop between the sea animal nickname and actual name cause of the theory that he usually calls those he respects/are close to their names n so on-

HII CURIOUS ANON, I'm glad you liked my lenghty thoughts on them! since you've given me the go ahead, I'll take up your offer and talk a bit about their Dorm Uniform designs! (I didn't include Azul's overblot or any other clothes to focus on these especific ones, but perhaps another time!)

oh, before I start, yes I agree with that! I believe you're refering to this post regarding Floyd's nicknames, and I agree with it! like he does with Azul and Jade, the people he's truly close with and respects he would call by their actual name, not one of his nicknames. although I'm very attached to shrimpy as I find it very cute and I'd kind of miss it if he dropped it altogether, so I like the idea of him varying between it and his S/O's name!

fun fact: I like to draw occasionally, so character design is something I have a lot of interest in!

now, let's get this started, yes?

I feel like my thoughts go along with the general consensus of their designs, but sometimes even the obvious should be stated, so I'll say everything in my mind!

AZUL

I have a confession to make. I'm easily attracted by anime characters with white hair. I KNOOOOW IT'S SUCH A COMMON TROPE AND I FALL FOR IT EVERYTIME, HOOK, LINE AND SINKER. so him having his gray-ish hair color is already a positive point in my books. differently from Ursula, his hair is not wild and free, but rather very well kept, tamed and wavy! (and difficult to draw, lmao. the notes in the 2020 visual book make a comment on how it's important to make an outline before drawing it, or else the right side can come out too big)

even with it's difficulty, I think the little strand that's just a tad longer and curls following his face, reminiscing of a tentacle, is just so charming, it's a nice little detail that makes all the difference! another thing you can't really see it's that he has AN UNDERCUT!! WHICH IS SO COOL!! I miss the time I used to have an undercut too.

the choice of giving him glasses but not the twins is a bit ironic, since octopi don't have much of a bad vision at all, meanwhile eels are almost blind. (I think they use contact lenses. just imagine Floyd forgetting his and he can't see anything and he's just. confused.) I think it's most likely to make him fit even more in the stereotypical "smart and cunning anime character" profile. it miiight have been a reference to the darker shade around Ursula's eyes, but I honestly doubt it. they do fit quite nicely, so I'm not complaining at all!

one thing I like about his eyebrows are how expressive they are, which brings Ursula's eyebrows to mind! they seem to have very similar expressions in that sense, as the drawing of him with a mean grin and arched eyebrows is reminiscent of Ursula's expression! his eyes aren't half lidded like hers tho, a difference that pops out very clearly if you compare both pics of them looking straight ahead while smiling. Ursula's seem more menacing, as if she's up to no good, while Azul's is more polite.

I loooove the mole near his mouth, mirroring Ursula's, it's so charming!! and I don't know if you've ever stared at his lips before but. look. they are very glossy and they SHINE, his mouth looks amazing, he might not pass on Ursula's birght red lipstick but he DEFINETLY has lip balm at least

now let's look at his drip. Octavinelle's dorm uniform makes an homage to the Sea Witch's elegant style, using a stylish combination of suits in more neutral tones, either in black and white or in shades of purple and gray, making a reference for her lavander skin tone and purple tentacles.

look I'm gonna be honest. I don't know what's up with the fedora. the iconic shell is a nice touch, but why must he wear a fedora? he could look professional and mature without it!! I am. not the biggest fan of hats. AND HIS HAIR LOOKS SO PRETTY WHY MUST HE HIDE IT

the bowtie I think it's a bit silly, but that might be because it's not common at all here where I live. I've only seen normal ties, so for me it might have looked better with one (not in this purple shade tho, maybe in a more muted tone of it. I do like the contrast of color against the white). I also don't see much what's the point of the grey scarf but it does help him look fancy, though the Octavinelle crest on it makes it look a bit like Harry Potter merch

as he's the housewarden, he gets a special long coat that does make him look a bit like a mafia boss, especially because he's not actually wearing it, only having it drapped over his shoulders. (or perhaps it's the bowtie. was that why it was there all along!?) and the white gloves? it's very snazzy and suspicious at the same time, but I can see the elegance of hiding your hands as if you're a victorian maiden hiding your ankles and shoulders to preserve your modesty.

the cane is SO COOL. I don't think he uses it for anything other than looking intimidating but's it's so cool. maybe it helped him to get used to walking with only two legs (adapting from eight to two must have been hard) when he started his first year and he's kept it. his shoes are pretty normal, expected even, BUT WHY ARE HIS SOCKS NEON PURPLE. I know it's to match his silly mafioso bow tie BUT WHY.

JADE

I'll start with things that will apply to Floyd as well, but I only want to say it once

Flotsam and Jetsam are... not the prettiest around. I'd say they are very far from it, even. Which only surprises me more that the twins look SO GOOD when they were based off of this??

as a reference to the moray eels, Ursula's beloved pets and minions, the twin's hair follow their color scheme, teal in it's majority with a dark gray stripe, and each have one yellow eye that helps to differentiate from which eel they were inspired by. their merman forms also make reference to them, as their tails are quite similar and they have fins and gills, which is not something the merman in the Little Mermaid used to have.

thankfully, for everyone's happiness, their physical similarities end there.

JADE TIME!! I have another confession to make: I also love character's with hair that has more than one color. I'M NOT TOO HARD TO PLEASE ALRIGHT!

Jade's hair is very unusual and at first glance might even look strange, a mix of color and shapes in an already complicated design. I think it plays along well with him, the little J shaped strand of hair hugs his face and calls attention to it, breaking the monotony from his otherwise short hair and balancing it's color out. the way his side bang is cut in such an angular and sharp way gives it such a nice shape, and I like how his hair is well kept and brushed! (differently from Azul's, his hair is a pleasure to draw, as I sometimes find myself doodling it at the corner of my books, absentmindedly)

THE SHAPE OF HIS EYEBROWS !!! they also feel quite angular and pointed, different from Floyd's, which compliment his eye shape very well. AND HIS EYES?? I could look into then all day. the way they are sharp and pass the feeling of his witty personality, they are angled upwards and give him an alluring sense, his upper lashes are fuller and give a cutting look to his eyes, the little eyebags (?) under them breaking the lightness of his skin and adding some color around them, even his eyelid fold helps to create such a charming gaze. I LOVE THE HETEROCHROMIA!! they aren't wildly constrasting, like I commonly see, but rather a duller tone of the other, which is how it usually happens in real life! such a polite look and by it's shape alone you can tell there's something behind it, something sharp enough to almost break the surface.

even his nose differs from Floyd's, as it feels a little softer and round ended, less curved and more of a straight line. I love these little spot the differences games, while they might seem like such minor details, they come along to create a bigger picture that differentiates the twins and each is their own person very well, not only with their body language but also by their appearence!!

OH AND HIS LIPS. I know I know it's the art style but still. the way his bottom lip is so full and shiny?? the way the corners of his mouth curl upwards just so. the carefully constructed politeness. how he rarely shows his teeth to keep the more harmless appearence, only letting them be seen if he's trying to intimidate someone or if he's actually happy. the dangers of his sharp teeth hiding like a shark under the waves !!!!!!

AND JADE'S EARRING! like on Floyd, it's such a dynamic little shape and gives them a bit of a more approachable look? and then you discover how they even got it in the first place LMAOOO. wait, let me give some context: on Usrula's spell, she says "Beluga Sevruga, Come winds of the Caspian Sea!" what does that mean? beluga is a variety of caviar (and of the more expensive ones), and it's harvested from the Sevruga sturgeon, native from the Caspian Sea. the story of how the twins got those earrings is that they won a fight against a sturgeon and kept the scales as a prize, so really even their cute little silly earrings are indicative of how dangerous they can be and how they like to flaunt that around LOL. in story they are also mentioned to be known as a good luck charm, due to being a popular ingredient in the Sea Witch's potions. it's such a nice reference! and it also implies the twins might have a bit of a supersticious side to them, which is so interesting.

the merman form is so cool too! as mentioned, I really like how they use more elements of moray eels and lets them have a more fish-like look. the stripes are elegant and a nice detail that brings these aspects from the eels, not to mention his body is literally luminiscent! like! he glows underwater!! how cool is that?? the fins in place of ears are cute, and the webbed hand makes a lot of sense! the tail adding lenght to them and making them twice their human size is a nice way of making them grow without distorting their proportions. (just why. why must he have abs. eel abs. it was a whole jumpscare the first time I saw them.)

I'm. gonna sound a bit hypocritical now. but! I think the hat looks nice on Jade. HEAR ME OUT! I'm still not the biggest fan of hats, but Jade's is not like Azul's, it has a wider, less square box like, shape, the shell is hidden as to not overdo with the details and leave it as a more discreet one, and the way it's drapped on his head, following his bangs and the linearity of his longer stripe, gives such a fluidity to the whole thing and manages to make him look suave!

also, one thing about him is how he's always prim and proper, tucked in neatly in any formal suit and showing his diligence. there's something about people who are always so covered up and formal looking. the profissionalism... the maturity... the sense he's above you... the clothes make the man...

ANYWAYS. I like that the shade of the regular uniform is a lavander that goes easy on the eyes (housewarden's neon purple, take notes), it gives a classy feel and goes along great with the general color scheme! I hope they are careful on laundry day to wash those separatedly from the white uniforms.

again with the little bow tie. the white manages to compliment his gloves and the pocket square very well, but it stills looks a bit silly to me. I'm sorry, but here where I live the only people I've seen using those are clowns, literally (look up Patati e Patatá. it's Jade and Floyd).

he thankfully doesn't show his socks, but his shoes have white details on them that I feel that kind of break the sleekness of the whole. I know it would be way too monocromatic otherwise, but I don't think it'd be necessarily a bad thing, especially since they have no problem in doing it with his other designs. with the ones he has on, it looks like he's about to start tap dancing at any minute.

still, Jade is slaying

FLOYD

as I've already discussed some of his design aspects in Jade's part, I'll go over only what I see as unique to him.

his hair is messier than Jade's, wilder and spikier, and it kind of looks like he doesn't brush it in the mornings, but that's part of his charm, this unkept look! the F shaped longer strand seems a bit fuller than Jade's as well.

his eyebrows are higher and less sharp than Jade's, angled downwards and following his eye shape that makes him look sleepy or bored more often, less atent than Jade, and exposes his double eyelid better. his eyes are more expressive, oftentimes curving in excitement or with his pupils contracting when angry.

the shape of his nose is pointy, sharper and slightly more curved. ONE THING I REALLY LIKE: his mouth. Floyd is always showing his emotions, and it's delightful to look at his jagged teeth as he smiles openly! even when he's not emoting so drastically you can still catch a glimpse of them!

the thing is that while they have their differences, the twins designs are very similar, as they really separate from each other in their personalities.

the hat also looks better on him than on Azul (sorry Azul, yours is a bit goofy and doesn't compliment your hair very well), and while it follows some of the reasons I've cited on Jade's, there's also something else. the hat helps to show his impulsive nature! how so? well, I think like this: the rest of the uniform he has to wear, there's no escaping it, but the hat? he can do wathever he wants with it. if he feels like putting it on, he does, if he doesn't feel like it, he can just not. it's not a crucial part like the shirt or the suit, so people won't get much on his case about it. in the card, he's taken it off, simply because he wanted to.

he's also more free than Jade's buttoned up look, as he quite literally doesn't button up many parts of it, his jacket is open, his collarbones are exposed, his silly clown bow tie is untied, his scarf is flowing in the wind. Floyd doesn't like to be restricted by tight fitting clothes and honestly I get him.

as much as Floyd is interested in shoe fashion, I don't like his shoes at all. in most of his cards actually. I don't know if it's because I know nothing about it and use an All Star for every occasion, but his shoes always look goofy because of his socks. ALWAYS. who lets him keep getting away with this??? someone please stop him he's comminting crimes against fashion with those socks. THE NEON PURPLE DOESN'T EVEN GOES WELL WITH THE SOFT LAVANDER OF HIS SHIRT. THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON FOR HIM HERE. not to mention he's also using the tap dancer shoes.

CONCLUSION

I really like Octavinelle's under the sea theme and how well their designs make callbacks for their counterparts, making nice references for such an iconic villain! all in all they are very elegant and pass a professional vibe that's characteristic of the dorm and it's students, leaving enough space for their own little quirks to shine through.

I love to take a look at them like this!! I might have a terrible fashion sense for myself, but when it comes to character design I suddenly become a critic lol. though I feel that the game manages very well to create interesting designs that calls to mind the original villain's and leave enough room for their own personalities to shine, catching your attention and staying easily on your memory! all the characters have unique little things that differentiate them and make even people that have never played the game recognize them!

that's it for their dorm uniforms and general designs, I hope you like it curious anon! thank you for once again indulging me on my rambles!

(I took the images from pinterest but they are from the 2020 visual book, which I found some translations for in their character fact sheets and here, or from the Little Mermaid's concept art book!)

#tea time #don't lose your head #twisted wonderland #Octavinelle #Azul when he's literally me #I LOVE JADES DESIGN ITS SO COOL SO CREATIVE SOOOOOO #and their designs reflect their personalities very well !! #I could talk about specific clothes/cards too but this would get waaaaay too long #there was smth else I wanted to put here but. I forgor

[cielhunternorwood]

NIKKE: Goddess of Slapdashery

So what if I told you there was a game where you could play a third-person shooter where you get to look at ass every time you shoot a gun, and also your character is an anime waifu in oft-times skimpy clothing?

I'd say to go try out the Nanako mod on Fallout 4 because it's much more engaging and fun, especially with how janky and stupid Fallout 4 is. At least the story is more coherent.

NIKKE is basically what happens when the love of ass overcomes the love of tits, but you need context for people to see all the ass, so you create a "cover"-based shmup to justify girls jutting their booty in your face like they're in a strip club. But then no actual thoughts go into anything else, so it just "borrows" from other games/anime to make something minimally cohesive to string players along.

Is it good? No. Is it bad? No. It just is. There's not enough content- much less unique content- to the game to generate hate or love. Let's break it down.

UI/Graphics: It exists/10

So, the UI for NIKKE is... It's there. I can't say much because it borrows a lot of elements from other games like Blue Archive, Girls' Frontline, and so on. It's also fairly buggy as it takes several pokes at times to open options and sometimes refuses to let you interact at all, forcing a restart. I think the big issue is the UI waffles between two different styles with no real consistency.

Graphics-wise, imagine a PS1 game using the Build Engine- the game engine used by Duke Nukem 3D/Blood/etc- for combat. That's basically it. The "maps" for story chapters have you control 3D chibis that aren't low-poly but are low-detailed, and the maps themselves are very poorly-textured. I know it's a mobile game, but other mobile games have way better textures than this on 3D stuff.

In-battle graphics aren't too special either, considering they do the 2.5D thing: all the enemies, girls, and cover objects are 2D images propped up along a plane to give an illusion of 3D. It can be a bit jarring, especially when there are actual 3D enemies as bosses which are visually unimpressive (knock-off God Eater designs and whatnot) and often janky in animation. Also the special effects are excessive and tend to cover up enemies too much.

Overall, it just looks cheap, especially seeing as they went the extra mile on Live2D for the girls. Or maybe not, since most of the motions the girls can do I've seen done in GFL, so maybe I'm just assuming it's the extra mile.

Gameplay: Not so good/10

So, it's a mobile game that's a third-person shmup. How does it work? You point and shoot. Specifically, you find wherever the game decided to plop the crosshairs, poke it with your finger/mouse pointer, and drag over enemies until they die. Simple, right?

Except you have to also tell your girls to take cover if there's big attacks- the cover itself not being invincible of course- and also there's superpowers/skills, ranging from a rather ineffectual buff to A FREAKIN CARPET BOMB OR RAILGUN SHOT. The big deal with skills is they're ranked I, II, and III: chaining them in sequence puts your girls in "Full Burst" where they focus fire and do more damage or something.

Sound a bit too complicated? Well, you can just click two buttons on the top left for "automatic shooting" and "automatic skill use", and then just watch the girls go to town shooting random enemies because they have the attention span of a kitten... WHICH IS BAD because there are some maps where you have to kill enemies occupying a point or before they reach the right side of the screen, and the AI seems to want to prioritize newly-spawned enemies rather than those that are about to blow your objective sky-high. Having to take control even during the auto-shooting to counter this issue defeats the purpose of having the option.

A lot of the combat scenarios also, despite having a noted "Power score" require far more than that set score to defeat because of enemies that both heal and up defense on nearby units (sometimes making you deal no damage at all when they group up), meaning every fight basically boils down to how much DPS you can fart out as opposed to the Power score meaning anything. You basically won't have a safe win unless your Power score is over 1000 above the fight score.

The worst part is how apparently the damage you can deal is affected by framerate. Yes, the framerate. If you can run the game at 60 FPS, you do the most damage. Also turning off Auto-Aim lets you do more damage because the "auto-aim" actually waggles far too much to be effective at its job. So if your game runs at low FPS and you can't aim well on your own, then you're just out of luck I guess.

While there are "ranges" for various guns and "elements" for weakness I guess, they tend to be a non-factor in most cases as the only real people who have trouble with range are shotguns and SMGs. It's a lot of mechanics that seem cool but are ultimately second-hand and basically only give you an inch of breathing room.

Oh, and I forgot to mention this: EVERY BATTLE IS TIMED. You have the span of A MINUTE AND A HALF to end most fights, Three minutes for boss/big fights. THIS IS WHERE THE "DPS CHECK" COMMENT IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. It's bad enough the game has enemy setups that often require a whole minute to kill even with high-level characters.

Also telling the girls to take cover during an attack can be pointless as most huge-hitting attacks actually BYPASS COVER, so it's better to just tank damage and keep the girls shooting so you don't run out of time. Kind of makes the cover part of the gameplay pointless.

This went on a bit longer than I anticipated, but all-in-all the gameplay is very hampered by a bunch of ideas that are executed very poorly. While it functions, it would be hard for it not to since it's literally just "point at thing, go boom", but the way it functions makes it clear it's held together by duct tape and glue.

Music: Forgettable/10

This one's brief. The music also waffles between "high school shojo" and "Transformers Devastation" with no real thematic connection between the two. It's the old-school "Korean MMO" style of music to make something catchy but not good for menu stuff, and then they try to be "metal" with combat music things. It's not at all memorable, and I often mute the music just to listen to the fight music from Devastation instead because it just sounds better.

Character Designs: Gacha, more like "Gotcha beech"/10

It's a gacha. If anything, the budget goes into the designs. So there's something for everyone, I guess. But let's judge based on practicality of outfits. The litmus test puts this one at almost Artery Gear levels of impracticality, but I feel like it's expounded by the Live2D wanting to put excessive jiggle on anything remotely containing fat.

Then you have characters in normal clothing, like the motorcycle-riding shotgun girl who dresses like a biker chick with a shotgun. Enough said. I've noticed a particular obsession with microskirts, but for the jello butt advertisements, that's no surprise. And there's also petite and loli characters, also no surprise.

So... It has some interesting designs, but a lot of them are pretty stupid in what's missing, some are literally just in underwear/sleepwear, and some defy the laws of physics by not only having giant tits but having them somehow remain in their shirts despite the fact that they should have popped out hours ago due to the lack of bra.

Economy: Awful/10

So how do you earn money and stuff? The GFL/BattleSpace way: hourly gain. Except you have to pick it up regularly because the place's temporary storage is limited to 12-hours-worth. Better log in twice a day.

So what happens is completing story fights basically adds ticks to your resource gathering level, which increases the rate at which you get money, level-up mats, and equipment per minute. It's referred to as "Outpost Defense" because the girls get it from defending your home base. While you can also get money and mats from fighting story fights, it's basically just a tiny bonus.

That would be fine if not for the fact that battles DO NOT GIVE EXPERIENCE. That's right. The girls don't learn shit from actual combat, only from feeding them level-up mats. This would be fine if the amount needed for level-up didn't become excessively huge when reaching level 60 and beyond.

So where do you grind for stuff in the meantime? Nowhere. Yep, nowhere. This is the first game I've seen where your sortie limit isn't through stamina or resources but LEVEL. You're level-gated in terms of progression, and even then the normal level cap is 80 unless you get copies of girls, meaning your shiny SSRs are gimped unless you roll (and despite what you think of the rates, the cost is excessive).

While some folks may think lacking grind is a good thing because it generates pacing, it actually hampers it because it makes it possible to clear a bunch of chapters at once and then rapidly diminishes the progress you can make. And with its barebones story, you're likely to forget what happened last time unless you actually sit and wait days on end to gather level-up mats to be ready. Speaking of story...

Story: Barely there/10

Depresso espresso. It's the God Eater thing but also the robots used to fight the impending apocalyptic force are discriminated against because they're not human. People live underground to avoid the Araga-- I mean Raptures while the T-Doll-- Er, Nikkes fight on the surface for humanity. The commanders that lead them are taught they're heroes for humanity but are treated equally like cannon fodder.

Luckily your character is a rookie commander who treats the Nikkes like human beings, which means you're automatically the best commander despite knowing nothing about how to do your job. You are the plot-armor protagonist archetype, basically, and you win against impossible odds.

This wouldn't be particularly bad if it wasn't for the fact that the game then starts to play at an intrigue of you being unique somehow late in the story, but it feels like another of those cheap hooks to keep you invested. Especially when the main story jumps around and has things happening basically for the sake of happening to make bad things happen later.

The overall structure of the story seems to just follow an "add it on" progression rather than having a concrete background and layout for how the story will go. A lot of empty intrigue and big people in background scenes going "Hmm, fascinating, let's keep watching." It's boring and poorly executed.

Overall: Mediocre/10

The game just... Exists. It's not by any means good, but nothing about it is especially bad. It borrows a lot from other games, it generates over-emotional scenes to keep people invested, and the gameplay itself is VERY unpolished. Whether or not any of these gets fixed later on, it won't change that NIKKE itself is just bland. It just exists to sell anime ass and run off horny, it seems.

That might be fine for some people, but the lack of substance to any part of the game just makes it so forgettable.

#nikke goddess of victory #mediocre #play girls' frontline instead #or fallout 4 nanako mod #anime ass

[big19boss-blog]

Damien hears the Truth

This is a one-shot canon from a Korean web novel called "LUCIA". It contains spoilers from the novel. Read at your own risk.

If you want to read it, you can DM me for the link or just search for RubyMaybeTranslating. It's a classic arranged marriage in European setting kind of story and Ruby had done an amazing job translating.

----------------------------

Damian felt nervous. Father and Mother had called him for tea in the evening. They haven't mentioned anything serious but his instincts told him it is something serious.

'Did they find about her?' he thought, 'No they couldn't I have done my best to hide her.'

He stood outside his mother's recieving room. It was nothing like the receiving room in Raom but it had the same warmth.

"Come Damien, let me pour you some tea. How did the meeting go?" His Mother asked him. She looked just as she did all those years ago and so did his father who sat next to her.

"The meeting went well Mom." He replied and took the tea his mother had made for him. He took the first sip and noticed how his father had motioned for all the maids to leave the room.

"Your father and I, we wished to discuss something with you Damien." Lucia broke the silence after taking a sip of her own tea, "Hugh tell him in detail." She elbowed her husband.

Damian always wondered how his very fragile mother rulled over the formidable Duke Hugh Taran. The world feared him and he worshipped her.

But for the first time he saw geniune delimma on his father's face. It made him worry more about what they wished to talk about.

"I never wanted to tell you this. But your mother believes you need to know this. You-"

"Remember before your father tells you anything. We love you Damien. You know that right?" Lucia cut him off in panic.

"I do mother, I do." Damien answered not only to reassure his mother but also because he felt her love. He knew that Lucia loved him as much as she loved Eve. That it didn't matter to her that he wasn't her biological son.

Damien noted that Lucia kept glancing between Hugh and him as if she wished to hold both of there hands.

"Let me start from the start. You might have realised this as well Damien, we Taran aren't like normal human beings. Our strength, mind, nature are very different from ordinary people. That is because we aren't completely human atleast not in the normal sense. I will explain you in detail later of our origin. Just know we are a fucked up bloodline that got glorified because of our-"

"Hugh!" Lucia warned him. "Damien, you and your father are not messed up. You are not just what your blood makes you. Okay?"

"Yes Mother." Damian replied. He looked at Duke to continue his story not minding his comments. He was more interested in this story. Like he was finnally getting the piece about himself that he was missing.

"Anyways children are hard for our bloodline. Boys can only be born between step siblings and girls can only be born after a tedious process. And to keep this secret hidden a lot of sacrifices and dirty play was done."

Damien paused, he felt like his world pause. But his mind was running faster than ever. "So I-"

"Keep you questions boy," his father objected, "let me finish first."

"So when the former Duke had twin sons he technically didn't need both of them. So he decided to throw away one of them. I, Hue, was given to mercenaries and my brother, Hugh was here studying as the next Duke. All was good for them untill there realise Hugh wasn't like the rest of Taran. He was gentle and kind and generous. He didn't exhibit the traits of Taran bloodline. "

Hugh paused to let everything sink into Damian. "But that wasn't acceptable so they start looking for me. Hugh already knew I existed we were brothers after all. We loved each other a lot in our own ways."

This story Damien knew. But he never knew that his father wasn't actually Hugh rather he was Hue. The son that was discarded. He suddenly realised how much his father had suffered as he could guess what was about to happend next.

"So, we both were threatened by our own parents. I was told to live as Hugh because I was what they called the perfect Taran male. And he was made to live in shadows. You know what happened next."

Hugh paused once again, this time taking a big breath. Lucia's hand come up to his back as she comforted him silently. "He loved me, and he knew that we both will be used for eternity by these people. So, he did his best and killed them all. And left me just one note. I truly hated myself then. I felt anger, sadness and helpless for the first time in my life. I-"

Hugh couldn't continue anymore. Damien felt his heart squeezing seeing his father like that. His father was truly a strong man. To endure all of this at the age of 18. He was 18 too and he couldn't even fathom how lonely his father might have felt.

"Anyways I thought my bloodline would end with me. I truly didn't want any child. I didn't not want another Taran boy with black hair and red eyes to exists."

Damien stiffened. Afterall he was the stark contrast of his father's wishes. He didn't knew when but his mother had come to sit next to him and placed a gentle hand on his arm.

"But to my surprise, came you. You were brought by the Taran Doctor called Philip. He brought you in front of me and said that my brother had a son."

Damien stopped breathing. It was him, he was the brothers son. That means his father wasn't his father. But rather his father was dead, dead years ago.

He felt his mother's hand tightining on his arm and it made him snap out of his spiral. Both his mother and father were looking at him in worry.

"My brother had told me he loved a woman, he didn't know she was his step sibling. He truly loved this woman. Your mother went away after your father died and I never looked for her. She must have handed you to Philip as he informed me that she passed away shortly after your birth. So I decided to lie. No one knew the truth that I wasn't Hugh. No one knew you were the real Hugh's son. But I knew you desrved to live from the first moment I saw you."

"You looked exactly like him when he was young too. And this might not make sense to you cause afterall we were twins but he was like Sunshine and innocent to fault. And you radiated that energy too. But it was also a fault in my plan to be the last living Taran."

"I am sorry Fathe- Duk- Hugh uh" Damien fumbled still feeling that everything was surreal.

"Oh don't start kid. I am your father, and I will be your father." Hugh insisted.

"And I am you mother, and nothing will change that. We love you." Lucia reassured him again.

"I struggled with my resolution for a long time. But then I saw you and your mother together. And I realised that Taran bloodline will end with me. Because you are not like us, you are just like that idiot. So, instead you will start a new Taran legacy. "

"I am so proud of what you have become Damien." It was not often that Damien hears his father talk so softly to him, "He would have been proud of you too."

Damien felt someone whipping his face. He didn't even realise he had shed a few tears and that his mother was whipping them. Lucia was also crying but she was trying her best to comfort him.

"Mom, I am okay. I really am." Damien assured his mother because he wasn't a small boy anymore and can comfort his mother back.

All three of them stayed silent for some moment. Damine as he took in these truths about his life. He could feel his mother staring at him and his father looking at him occasionally too.

"...Mother and father" Damien say hesitatingly, "I am okay. Don't worry." He reassured his mom.

"See I told you he would be alright, you were worried for anything." Hugh commented.

Lucia laughed at him and so did Damien. He really was shocked for a second but as he saw how much they were worried for him and how much they loved him. He knew he would take time to let that sink in but he would be okay.

"Damien, you are young but don't worry when you get married, and if you want to have children in future we know appropriate measures to take."

"MOM!"

Hugh snickers at his son's embarrassed face. He had told Lucia to hold that piece of information for later but his wife ever so curious doesn't realize that her little boy isn't little anymore.

"I know I know so whenever you have a woman you like tell us."

"Yes Mom, I will." Damine answered still red in the face.

Seeing her showering so much love on their son, Hugh felt a little mischievous and wanted to mess with Damien a little.

"Oh you would tell us. But I don't we know about her then, the one from the academy."

Both Damien and Lucia looked at him, one in disbelief and other in confusion.

It took a moment for Lucia to realise what Hugh meant but she added two and two in her head and shot Damien.

"Damien, do you have someone you like? Why didn't you tell me?" Lucia asked him visibly upset.

"Mom, I would have. But I couldn't find her, she had disappeared. So I was hesitant to tell you anything." He explained briefly.

"She had disappeared? So why aren't you going to search for her? Did you tell her you like her?"

"No I haven't told her Mom. I was studying at the academy not doing this." He said.

"You are just like your father. Let me tell you how we got married. So I was the-" Lucia started her story.

But at some point Hugh had come behind her and he promptly covered her mouth and lifted her in his arms. "You go prepare for meeting. Your mother and I will meet you for dinner."

He could hear his mother's muffled voice as his father laughed and he left the room. He wished to find love like theirs someday.

--------------------------

Hope you'll enjoyed it.

#cannon #lucia #Hugh Taran #Taran #webnovel #korean #knovel #Ridibooks #Skye #Rubymaybetranslating #Damien #romance #kids #adopted son #arranged marriage #duke #duke of north #oneshot #duchess

[izzy-b-hands]

Rewatching Metalocalypse in between episodes of OFMD and had the most haunting/stupid idea for a conversation between Toki and Ed

Because, in this musician's au I've got going on (there's a whole post I didn't get finished last night about a new fic draft for this I'm working on, with Dethklok and Ed's band (it's just him, Izzy, Fang, Ivan, and anyone else who occasionally circles through but doesn't stick around lol.) ) there are a lot of nice weird little pockets to fit in conversations that flit v quickly between serious to funny to oh that shouldn't be funny probably but it is a bit

And this is one of them that I just love so much. They've both got issues re: parents and dads, and had a hand in their father's deaths like. There's no easy fic intro into a conversation that in every iteration in my head goes something like:

"So," Toki flops on the couch by Ed. "I killeds my dads."

Ed frowns, and sets aside the magazine Pickles insisted he take right when he walked in, as 'a guest in their home.' "Okay. That's one way to start a conversation. I'm gonna counter with what the actual fuck? Why would you ask me that?"

Toki's eyes go wide. "You toos? I thoughts I was the only ones!"

Ed stares at the wall ahead of them, noting the flecks of dried blood as Toki hugs him tight enough to hurt. "Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Not really the sort of thing I like to...we should go find Izzy and Pickles and see how the kitchen tour is going. We're here to write a song with you guys anyway, so maybe if we just get up to go do that and never talk about our dads or anyone's dads ever again-"

"You gets me," Toki interrupts softly, giving his torso another squeeze. "How does you feel abouts cats?"

---

And so on and so forth of Toki and Ed getting to know each other better on a surprisingly sweet and vulnerable level (legit I think Ed would fucking love Toki's models. They could make model ships together!)then scene cutting into whatever the kitchen tour entails and whether or not I'd want to take a stab at creating actual lyrics for a fic (spoiler alert, probably not, because I usually wimp out on doing that out of fear they'll be The Worst lmao.)

However, aside from writing it in the necessary way to try and match similar beats of a scene for OFMD and Metalocalypse, there's just. So much underneath there if I were to dip more ooc and write it just. Full breakdown (or rather, not so much ooc as the 'what would it take for him to say that' version of things) of Ed admitting yeah, he did kill his dad, Toki turning into a velcro guitarist hugging him to death, but instead of a few lighter but still personal shared details in dialogue then scene cut to Pickles and Izzy and the kitchen tour (aka Pickles uses the microwave and the oven to make homemade edibles on rare occasions, so they're just discussing how best to decarb different forms of weed for edibles. The kitchen staff aren't allowed to start working until they leave, and would badly like them to fuck off anywhere else), we just. Have the conversation. As painful and awkward as it might be for two dudes who really only kind of know each other on a business/work level that's edging towards 'actual interest in the other person'/friends level.

Ed can tell how he strangled his abusive father to save himself and his mum from having to live under his thumb any longer; Toki can tell about slipping and sending his cancer-ridden abusive dad to an icy watery grave after having literally just said he was forgiving him for everything he had done. Insert a bit there from Toki about his conflicted feelings re: did his dad even register that Toki was forgiving him before he was frozen and dead? And does it matter either way, now that he'll never know how his dad would have reacted to that forgiveness?

Does it fix every issue they have with their dads? Absolutely not, it's one conversation, not years of much needed therapy. But they have a cry over it and admit that it's incredibly lonely to be in their specific situations with their parents like that, whether the killing was an out of necessity on purpose (Ed) or more accidental (Toki, though he murmurs to Ed, almost whispers, that he knew how slippery it would get as he climbed higher up that mountain with his father in his arms. He could have slowed down, tried to be mindful of the snow and ice packing the treads of his boots. And he just wanted it all to be over with, but not like that. Not how it actually happened.)

I know the ppl interested in this part of the au are minimal but I just. have so much that keeps randomly hitting me that I'm dying to share on the off chance anyone else is interested fdsakjfl

#text post #long post #this is just be blabbing abt musician au fic ideas #specifically dethklok and the ed izzy fang and ivan band section of it and even more specifically #ed and toki and them having a bond over dads and death and maybe models and cats too

[ruthlesslistener]

Not sure if I ever stirred up an actual controversy or if I'm just being paranoid of misinterpretations here, but just a note of clarification here, me saying that PK and WL aren't colonizers doesn't mean that they're exempt from being responsible for some nasty shit they did when establishing their place in Hallownest. Colonization merely a subset of conquering, and while they don't fit the requirements for colonization (the beetles they ruled over were natives, the White Lady seems to have sprouted in Kingdom's Edge due to the abundance of roots there, so she also came from Hallownest, there's no evidence of any attempts to establish colonies in lands outside of the City of Tears/Dirtmouth pipeline [the Deepnest tram doesn't count, thats transit/trade], and the different tribes in the caverns ARE able to establish borders and barter with them, which would NOT happen if they were intent on colonization), they're still responsible for:

-Conquering the Radiance's lands, then turning a good chunk of them into crystal mines (assuming, ofc, that the Crystal Peak was once the home of the Moth Tribe)

-Assimilating their moths into their culture and encouraging them to destroy what they had of their legends; the Seer blames this choice on her ancestors, and there is no proof that it was forceful, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't coerced

-Annexing huge chunks of Greenpath to mould into the Queen's Gardens and Fog Canyon (ofc, this could have been bartered for, but either way the Mosskin were driven back or changed, and what would one elder god be against two younger ones?)

-Getting involved with intertribal politics between the Mantis Tribe and Deepnest

Additionally, this is NOT to say that people cannot interpret what they did as colonization, or to write or produce fanwork with that mindset. Pretty much the worst thing in fandom is when there's a monopolization on people's views of a character, and Hollow Knight lends itself very well to fluid interpretation. I personally tend to default to a more biological/ecological interpretation than sociopolitical myself, because PK having a beef with Radi and WL and Unn fighting for reasources screams 'same niche, different species' competition to me. I'm merely pointing out that the original story of Hallownest appears to be more in line with a vague message about damning the cycle of different powers conquering others and abusing each other rather than anything explicit.

Additionally, I am wary of the concept that claiming that the Pale King and the White Lady are colonizers will downplay the horrors of what the Radiance did to all of the tribes of Hallownest, even those who were politically independent and had no stake in the war between the Gods of Light. There's also the matter of the Void Civilization coming before Hallownest; we don't have much information to definitively prove anything about their fall, but what we DO have seems to point to the Radiance doing the same thing, with the Knight reclaiming their birthright, purpose, and land when they ascend as the Lord of Shades to tear her to shreds, explicitly against their parent's will

So tdlr: yeah I did write up a very long angry post once about PK and WL not being colonizers, but that's only because I'm a stickler for details, not because I think they're innocent. It's like the difference between venom and poison- both will kill you, just in different ways. Also I feel like those who tend to go for the 'PK and WL are colonists' narrative tend to overlook the fact that there was a whole other civilization of people who worshiped a different god who seem to have been totally- or at least mostly- wiped out by the Radiance. And ngl I kind of think those would be the snails bc that rock where you get the Abyss Shriek that can be dreamnailed is full of rocks in the background that look like a fuckton of the snail shaman's charms/spells, + they are the only ones other than vessels to use void magic

So basically no matter how you view it, Radiance = The Pale King = The White Lady in terms of war crimes, genocide, and body count. Unn is just vibing. The Lord of Shades

#sorry if this comes off as condescending i just really dont wanna be seen as a pk or a wl apologist ahaaaa #im just. the void civ is right there! and none of what i see points to good things!! #hollow knight #long post #the pale king #the white lady #the lord of shades #the radiance #i also personally dont like the woobification of radi i see with that #theres like one person ive seen who writes some baller content with pk and wl as colonists #where nobody is woobified (including radi)

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter twelve - “it’s hovercraft time, bucky barnes”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2.4k

synopsis: neither bucky nor y/n can sleep... until they do. and the next day brings them an unexpected, but pleasant surprise.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

It was four in the morning when the psychologist and the super soldier got in their respective beds after the nightmare. Y/N laid on her side in the bunk across from Bucky, facing away from him and staring at the wall. Her body wanted to sleep but her mind kept whirring on and on, worrying about him.

It wouldn't be that bad if she could just ignore it. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't wide awake also thinking about how it would be utterly impossible for him to have any eye color other than blue.

She sighed. Christ almighty, just go to sleep.

About twenty minutes passed before she heard it.

"Why are you still up?" he mumbled.

She turned over to her other side, dramatically, staring at his silhouette in the dark.

"How could you possibly know that?"

"I'm a trained assassin," he said, as a matter of fact. "I can recognize breath patterns."

"Yeah, well I know for a fact that you aren't even trying to fall back asleep."

"How could you possibly know that?" he repeated her question.

"I just do," she stated before turning on her back and staring straight up.

He scoffed playfully.

"What?" she asked.

Her tone wasn't as playful. It wasn't angry or annoyed; she could never be with him. But, it was void of emotion and her usual sarcastic cadence. She didn't enjoy people reading her like that. She knew he wasn't, but it felt like she was being called out for caring so much. She wanted to rein in her own compassion, but she couldn't help the way he softened her.

"That's just code for 'I'm a trained psychologist and I know how you're gonna react to nightmares.'"

She replied with silence, desperately trying to end the conversation so she could try to sleep and leave this night behind.

"Sorry, did I- did I say something?" he asked.

"No, you're good."

Part of her felt bad for being short with him, but she needed it to be over. She needed to somehow distance herself from her own feelings.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up with the nightmare and messed with you being able to fall back asleep. I know it's... a lot."

He's sorry. He's sorry?

"Don't you dare apologize. It's not your fault, and it's not even why I can't fall back asleep."

"What's the problem then?"

"It's nothing. Just try and get some sleep."

"Yeah... about that..."

"Will you have another?"

"Not  sure. I don't wanna find out."

"I know. And I'm sorry. Sleep shouldn't be this menacing, but you should still try anyway. Your body needs it."

"So does yours."

Y/N let out an exasperated sigh. There she went caring again and he kept deflecting. Her frustrations about her own emotions came out in stubborn defiance.

"I'm not sleeping until you do."

"Guess we're both stayin' up then."

"Bucky," she gently admonished.

"Y/N I can't- that... was the worst one I've had in a while."

That was it. Any and all aggravation faded to nothing, and her cheeks were hot with guilt. To hell with it; she refused to leave him to pain. She then got out of her bunk. Carefully, she maneuvered out and kneeled on the floor, facing him. She felt bad; she didn't mean to push him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I should know better."

He mirrored her actions, slipping out of his own bunk and kneeling on the floor in front of her

"It's okay," he didn't miss a beat. His voice was as soft of hers. "Thank you."

He was closer now, so she could see a more detailed outline of him. She never really noticed just how large he was. Just his arm looked as big as her head. He was supposed to look frightening, but... she just couldn't see it.

"If you don't wanna sleep that's okay. I'll stay up with you so you don't have to be alone."

"Y/N..."

"I'm already up, I don't mind," she countered. "Seriously. I'm wide awake now. Honestly, I don't even know if I could fall back asleep if I tried."

"I can't ask you to stay up and babysit just 'cause you feel bad."

She scooted forward, determined not to lose to deflection again. Babysit? and Cause you feel bad? How could he truly think so little of himself?

"I am definitely not babysitting. I just happened to be awake at the same time you are... and not because I feel bad."

He scooted forward a couple inches, squinting, trying to decipher her facial expressions. "I can't tell if you're joking or not just from your tone of voice."

In the very back of her head it returned: that hazy enchantment feeling that swelled from her lungs through her brain stem every time she was this close to him. It is important to note - it was in the very back of her brain, and if you ignore something long enough, you can convince yourself it's not there.

"James Buchanan, I am awake and there's not a thing you can do about it."

"Alright," he sighed. "I don't know if you're expecting some kind of entertainment, but I can't really juggle with one arm..."

"I can't juggle with two."

"Ever been to the circus?"

"No."

He laughed. "Oh man, you're missin' out."

"No, I got the clown right here."

"Wow, is that how it is?"

"Depends. You got face paint and a rainbow wig?"

"Smartass."

The air was quiet after their breathy laughs fizzled out. A few moments of awkwardness quietly passed, both unsure of what to say next.

"You know when you're in the dark, your pupils dilate to take in as much light as they can in order to see better?" Y/N asked.

"I think I knew that? I'm not sure, I might've heard it somewhere. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. I can't see your face super well, so it made me think of it. I can barely even see your eyes."

"Maybe that's better," he chuckled. "I don't know if they're still blood shot from earlier."

"Like I'd care."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"What?"

"Why wouldn't you care? I feel like seeing someone's puffy face and post-cry eyes would be kinda gross."

"You really think I care if your eyes are red or puffy?" she questioned. "Buck, I know I'm probably not supposed to say this because technically I'm your doctor, but I honestly consider you a really good friend. I'd be more worried to see that you've been crying than be aversive to it."

He scoffed in honest disbelief.

"What?"

"I just can't wrap my head around the fact that you think that way about me..."

"What do you mean?"

"...the person I am, the things I've done, the..." he shook his head, "the horrors I've committed..."

"The horrors you've committed are not who you are. I know you see yourself in a lot of different ways because it's hard to un-learn what other people have decided you are: a monster, a ghost, an asset, a machine, an assassin, a weapon, whatever. But have you ever considered that you're just human after all? You're a man who got dealt a shit hand in life. But there is still light in him... light that never left, no matter how hard they tried to beat it out of you. You're a survivor, Buck."

Bucky took a deep breath in, contemplating, before turning and laying on his back. They both remained on the floor, Y/N kneeling a few inches away from the side of Bucky's supine figure. He stared straight up at the ceiling.

"Sometimes I think I'm a better 'ghost' than I am a human being. My mind's a mess, and even though I'm trying, I still can't help but feel like I've lost who I am."

"You haven't lost who you are. You're just different now, and that's okay."

He looked up at her. "How do you always know what to say?"

"I know everything."

Y/N smiled, following Bucky's laugh, allowing the somber atmosphere to lighten up a bit. They so easily slipped in and out of the therapy dynamic, but now it seemed more like a heartfelt conversation between friends rather than treatment between doctor and patient.

"I consider you a really good friend too by the way - closest one I've had since Steve."

"Wow, really? That's an honor."

"Not really," he chuckled. "Steve's a punk."

And there she went laughing again. In one way or another she always found herself laughing around him.

However, she found it more confusing than funny when she woke up the following morning to find herself sitting on the floor, leaning against one of the beds with Bucky's head in her lap. She found her hands resting on his head protectively, fingers slightly carded through his long hair. She woke up before him... That's a first.

Y/N looked down at him. He was fast asleep; he looked peaceful and so relaxed. It was such a rare state to see him in, so she gave herself a few more seconds to study how his face looked when it was completely tranquil before she smoothed her hand along the back of his head and replaced her lap with a pillow.

-

"Hey," a raspy voice called out.

Y/N turned around from her seat at the table, hands still wrapped around the cup of tea she made herself a few minutes prior.

Bucky was awake, sitting up, but still in his previous spot on the floor.

"Hey. You want some tea?"

He stood up, nodding and stretching his back. "Did I fall back asleep?"

"You did," she smiled. "I'm pleased. I told you you needed the rest."

He seemed pleasantly surprised. "And on the floor too. Very classy."

She raised her mug to him, as if to make a toast. "Classiest man I know."

He laughed before grabbing the kettle and realizing it was empty.

"Shoot. We're outta water."

"It's alright. We know where to find the waterfall. You want to go get more?"

"Mm hm."

"Alright, I'll just finish my tea and go out in a few minutes."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm coming too."

"You sure? You just woke up. You can take some time to just relax if you want."

"No. I'm going."

"Stubborn. I can go myself, you know. I know the way."

"Would you let me go by myself?"

Y/N was silent for a moment before sighing.

"Get your shoes."

-

"You know, there was really no reason to almost push me into the water," Bucky commented as they were making their way back to the shelter after restocking their water supply.

"I wasn't actually going to!"

"You might as well have! My life flashed before my eyes!"

"Bet that took forever. You wanna backtrack? I can do it for real this time."

"I'm throwin' you in next time."

"You couldn't throw me," she challenged.

"Like a football," he countered, smirking.

"I don't wanna test that theory."

Their banter continued as they continued walking, making sure they were in the tree line and not out in the open. Bucky was always cautious. He was able to laugh with her while still making sure they were safe. That was until his arm was suddenly around the front of her shoulders, and holding her against his chest as his back was flush against a tree, effectively hiding them both from sight. She just stared forward, barely registering how fast he swiveled both of them around.

"There's someone at the bunker. I'm sorry- didn't want us to be seen."

He removed his arm, but her feet were stuck. She had never been close to him like this before; she didn't know what to think of it. She stepped forward a bit, breaking the contact but still facing away from him. She was hyperaware of their proximity but that quickly dissipated as she registered what he said.

"What did you see?"

"There were a couple people, but I didn't get a great look 'cause I moved out of sight fast. One woman, two men? I think."

His tone and demeanor reminded her of that day Shuri told them they had to go in hiding. He was so calm and collected. She forgot situations like these were practically muscle memory to him.

"Do you think someone found us? What were they doing?"

"I only saw 'em for a second, I'm not sure. Stay still, I'm gonna look."

As soon as his head peaked around the tree, so did Y/N's, ignoring his order.

"Wait, I think that's Shuri."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. I don't know if I'd bet my life on it."

"What's that other thing?"

"The hovercraft?"

"Hovercraft? God, I love this place."

"Wait, see the crest on the hovercraft - that's the one only Shuri can unlock."

"Alright, just... stay behind me. Okay?"

"Okay."

The two slowly made their way towards the three Wakandans. Y/N actually listened this time and stayed behind Bucky. As soon as they were in sight, Shuri came running up to them.

"Y/N!" she exclaimed, immediately throwing herself into the psychologist, embracing her.

She was startled at first, arms awkwardly hanging by her sides before her brain finally caught up to her and she brought her arms up lightly, returning the hug.

"Shuri! What happened?"

"We won!" Shuri grinned. "It's a long and complicated story, but the rightful King never died. My brother has reclaimed his place on the throne. Wakanda is ours once again!"

A monumental weight was lifted from Y/N's shoulders. She sighed in relief, knowing she was no longer in danger, knowing Bucky was no longer in danger.

"That's incredible. I'm so glad everything's okay, and I'm so glad to see you."

"I'm glad to see you too, my partner," Shuri hugged her once more before addressing Bucky. "Sergeant Barnes. I'm sorry for all the trouble. I hope everything was alright?"

"We've been getting along just fine," he nodded. "Thank you."

Shuri called over the two other men - royal guards that came with her - before turning back to Y/N and Bucky.

"You've been camped out here in hiding long enough. Let us go home."

As they walked behind the Wakandan princess, Y/N nudged Bucky with her elbow.

"It's hovercraft time, Bucky Barnes," she managed to say through a face numbing smile.

delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance

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[mikkomacko]

Domestic Wolf 2: The Return of Bucky Barnes

Hello everyone! I’m back with more Domestic Wolf, this time in a bit of a flashback. If you haven’t read the first part here it is!

Part 3

Thanks for reading!

Warnings: Angst, Smut, Mentions of death, Sad Bucky :(

2023

The address in Queens sits useless in his text messages, ready for him to click on for directions but he doesn't need it. Truth is, he doesn't even need to read it anymore considering it's been burned into his mind since she first sent it to him. Almost a week ago the text had come through with the address, followed by a sweet message of "come home soon or I'll kick your ass".

It wasn't the first time she told him that and he's certain it won't be last.

By the time he's at the iron gate of the building, hands tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket, Bucky's feeling like the man that would show up on her doorstep in Romania all those years ago, guided by loneliness and guilt. Back then he had nothing but her. Now he has nothing but her. It's like stepping back in time, back to the apartment he'd hide out in for as long as he could, grounding himself to a new world with the help of a woman that always cared for him. She picked him back up after Hydra, dusted him off and kissed the wounds better. And he knows she'll do it again now, more dusting and kisses for the fact that he just lost another 5 years of his life and his best friend.

Bucky doesn't know this world, doesn't trust it. Even when he was on the run he didn't trust the world. It's why he always kept them hidden, only took her out into the city late at night when he knew he'd could keep her safe, keep her as his little secret. It's also why he refused to let her travel up-state for him, refused to let her meet him outside on the sidewalk. He doesn't know who or what could be out here, and until he does, she's remaining hidden.

A quick glance up and down the street, Bucky let's out a nervous puff of air and opens the faux lock on the gate. She had told him on the phone that it wasn't real, at one time it had been but it broke awhile ago and was never replaced. He hated it then and he hates it now, so he makes a mental note to get her landlord to replace it.

Through the entryway, up the flights of stairs, and to the fifth floor. Maybe he should be looking around, taking more note of the details of this building but he can't bring himself to do it right now because his girl is waiting for him. She's been waiting for him since he left to Wakanda 7 years ago and he's tired of it. He wants- no needs - to see her right now.

5B. A dark blue door with a little rug in front that reads "Hello, is it me you're looking for" with a depiction of who Bucky believes to be Lionel Richie but he's not sure. Y/n liked a lot of different musicians. It's hard to keep track of who sings what.

Bucky's boots have barely touched the mat before the door is ripping open. His eyes meet hers, tears already welling on her waterline and Bucky's sting with tears of his own. Body moving instinctively, he steps into the apartment, kicking the door shut with his foot and reaching for her waist.

"Doll..."

"Bucky..."

She flings herself at him with enough force to knock him over if it weren't for the serum running through him, legs around his hips and arms around his neck. He tucks his face into her neck, fingers trembling as they grip her back, her shoulders, her hips, anywhere he can get his hands on. It's surreal, holding her again. He hasn't felt her skin, heard her voice, kissed her lips since he went under after Zemo scrambled his brain again.

"I missed you, so much Bucky." She whispers, voice cracking under the stress of the sentiment, and he's reminded that while it's been a long time for him, it's been even longer for her. He died. He was gone, wiped from the Earth and she had no idea if he was coming back or not. Had the roles been reversed, had he been the one left standing here while she was reduced to dust, he can't imagine staying as sane as she has. He has a feeling an unwelcomed friend would've returned and he probably would have done things to pile onto his ever present guilt. Another reason why he doesn't deserve her.

"It's ok sweetheart," he promises, voice thick. "I'm back and I'm not going anywhere, ok?" She pulls back from him, just enough to cup his face in her right hand. Her thumb brushes over his cheek bone, wiping away tears he didn't know he shed, and he takes a moment to admire her.

Her hair is longer, face thinner, and dark circles sit under her swollen eyes. She looks exhausted, like she's been holding the weight of the world on her shoulders for far too long but her eyes hold all the joy in the world. She's happy and beautiful and even better than he remembered.

"I can lock you up in here," she offers, bottom lip trembling but still smiling. "they'd never find you again."

He can't stop himself. He kisses her for the first time in years, soaks up her startled gasp and replaces it with a hum of contentment. Her fingers tangle in his hair, nudging his lips even closer to hers, and he grips the back of her neck to remind her that he's here, he'll always be here.

"Just you and me, huh?" He murmurs, mouths still hovering close. She smiles shakily, tilting her head to kiss the corner of his mouth and giggling when his beard tickles her lips.

Just Bucky and his girl.

~

His jacket finds its way to the floor of the entryway, a pool of leather on the light wood panels. His boots are kicked off, toppled haphazardly next to her shoes by the door. Two leather gloves are thrown onto the table leading to the living room. Her shirt sits with his, layered on top of each other in the living room. She's somehow managed to wiggle a hand between the two of them, enough to unbutton and lower the zipper of his black jeans. In a room he doesn't care to admire yet, sat on the edge of the large matress with her on his thighs, Bucky's breaths tremble as y/n ghosts her fingers over his left shoulder. The last time she saw him like this, his arm was still made of the same silver metal that had ruined so many lives, hurt so many people. And yeah he'd gotten this one in order to fight another war, one he lost before actually winning, but at least this time he was fighting for the side he actually believes in.

He reminds himself of that when she kisses over his heart. "They're gone," she murmurs, pointer finger trailing over what used to be scar tissue, mangled flesh, and nail marks.

"They're there if you look hard enough."

She looks up at him through her eyelashes, understanding the double meaning. Shuri couldn't erase them entirely, not on his skin and not in his soul.

"The good thing about scars," she says, "is that they don't hurt you anymore. And eventually you accept the weight of them."

He kisses her again, unable to voice his appreciation and love for her. His fingers slip under the band of her jeans, digging into the soft flesh and her own dominant hand finds it's way into his pants, groping at the chub on the inside of his thighs and ghosting over the bulge in his boxers. Bucky manages to pull her bottoms down, nudging her up to her feet so she can kick them off.

Giggling, she presses a sloppy kiss to his chin before dropping to her knees between his thighs. A kiss to the scar just above his belly button pulls a laugh from him, Bucky burying his fingers in her hair to keep it from falling in her face. Her fingers grip the sides of his jeans and boxers, and he lifts his hips so she can pull them both down in one go.

Maybe they should be talking, reacquainting with one another. After all, he knows nothing about how she got here. Where's she working? Why'd she pick Queens to live? Why did she leave Romania? What's she been doing the past five years? But maybe they need to find each other physically first. Because it's been so long since they've touched each other, loved each other. And this is how it started all those years ago. The first real thing Bucky was able to give to her after Hydra was his body. That was all he had, and luckily for him she accepted it and cherished it. For the first time since the 40s his body had been used for good.

Maybe that's what they both need again.

Bucky finds himself sprawled out on the bed, head on her pillows and hands on her waist as she climbs on top of him. Their mouths meet again, a soft groan leaving his lips as she threads her fingers through his hair. Out of habit he reaches for her bedside table, sitting up just slightly to open the drawer. Y/n moves her kisses to his jaw, breath hot on his skin. By the time he's registered that's he's reaching for condoms that probably aren't there, his fingers catch on a familiar box.

"How long have these been here doll?" He asks, praying to the Gods that they're not expired. Or even worse, that they'd been there for someone else to use. The thought makes him ache so painfully he'd rather have his brain fried again than imagine someone else loving on his girl.

She pulls back, meeting his eyes with a cheeky smile. "A week."

A week. About the time she got that first phone call from him, the call that confirmed Steve's and the Avengers success in bringing everyone back. She went out and bought him condoms as soon as she found out that he was alive. Needy girl.

"Went shopping for me sweetheart?" He teases, pecking her lips and tearing open the box. He digs out a foil, tossing the box off to the side, hearing it clatter to the floor.

Laughing, she kisses him again. "What can I say, I missed you Sarge." Bucky's dick throbs, groaning dramatically at the name. She occasionally called him Sarge back in Romania, after he'd come to terms with the memories that plagued and confused him. Sarge made him comfortable. He knew he used to be a Sergeant, could feel it deep in his bones that that was a title he held with pride. Hearing her say it to him, in a way that had his spine tingling. Like she was proud of him too. Bucky will never be able to explain how good that makes him feel.

She takes the packet from his fingers, kissing the tip of his nose with a coy smile as she opens it. He barely gets the chance to grip the back of her neck and bring her lips back to his before she's gripping him in her hand, stroking him a couple times and giggling through his choked gasp. The condom is rolled down his length, her fingers familiar and comforting on his skin, welcomed.

"Come on doll," he whispers, lashes fluttering as she drags the head of him through her soaked folds. Then she's sinking down on him, slowly easing his cock deeper and deeper. Bucky's toes curls, stomach swirling, and skin burning in pleasure.

"Oh God," y/n breaths, nails digging into Bucky's chest as her nose scrunches and her eyes fall shut. He takes a hold of her waist, sitting up against the headboard so he can pull her chest closer to his. She moves with him easily, melting in his hold when he presses his lips to her shoulder. His right hand drops to cup her ass, pulling her hips up and then guiding them back down until she's carefully riding him.

"Let me hear you baby," he requests, brushing his lips under her ear. "haven't heard your voice in so long."

Y/n's fingers tug at his hair, drawing his mouth back to hers for a brief kiss. "Haven't felt you in so long, Buck," she whispers back, teasingly. His cock pulses as she rolls her hips on him.

"Been waiting for me?" He asks, dragging his lips down her collar bone. She nods, a breathy "Yes" escaping her above him. "Poor doll, waiting for me all these years."

"Worth it," she says with conviction. "you're always worth it."

A kiss over her heart, Bucky digging his nose into her soft skin to feel her heartbeat. He pulls her down on his cock, grinning when the beat stutters in time with her gasp. He loves it, loves hearing her, feeling her. Unable to help himself any longer, Bucky digs his heels into the sheets and starts fucking up into her, hips meeting hips.

The noises she makes, the moans of his name make his belly tighten and his cock twitch, enough to have him nearing his end far sooner than he hoped. It's been so long since he's had her and he can't even get his fucking dick to cooperate. A tug on his hair and a quick bounce of her hips has him biting back a moan, almost frantic as he moves his left hand between them, thumb finding her clit. The sob that leaves her has his head spinning, Bucky occupying his mouth with her pebbled nipple to keep from moaning. He still hasn't gotten used to the fact that he can openly make noise now, something he used to work on around her, but he prefers using it as an excuse to keep his mouth occupied elsewhere.

"Fuck, so close Bucky," she pants, thighs trembling around his and he takes it upon himself to hold her full weight with his free arm, lifting her up and pulling her back down on his cock. He feels like a whole different man when his orgasm hits, burying his face in her chest with a loud groan.

"Oh doll, so good y/n, so fucking good."

She follows shortly after him, nails digging into his bicep and scalp, body trembling and clenching. He coaxes her through it with wet kisses and gentle circles of his thumb on her sensitive bud. His bones and muscles feel like jelly when he relaxes back into the pillows, carding his fingers through her messy hair while the other strokes over her hip.

"If I knew this would be my homecoming," he murmurs, "I would've been back days ago."

She giggles, cheeks rosy and eyes bright. "Isn't this the proper way to welcome a soldier home?"

He smiles and shrugs, bittersweet. "Wouldn't know doll, this is my first time making it home."

~

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

Her thumb strokes over his bottom lip, dropping down to the dimple in his chin, and Bucky sighs contently. Truth is, he doesn't want to tell her what's happened. He doesn't want to talk about Wakanda, or Thanos, or being dead, or Steve leaving. He just wants to be here with her, pretending that he's normal for once in his God damn life.

"How about you tell me first doll?" He whispers, his eyes soaking up the sight of her. "Last time I saw you, you were saving lives in Bucharest."

"Actually, I was sitting in Wakanda with the love of my life," she corrects, smiling. His heart flutters happily, ears heating up with a blush. Pretending to blow her comment off, he rolls his eyes and chuckles.

"Alright, what happened after that?"

Inhaling deeply, she settles further back against the headboard. Bucky tilts his head up, just enough to kiss her stomach through the fabric of his t-shirt before laying his head back in her lap. Her fingers card through his hair as she speaks.

"I stayed in Romania after you went under, kept working at the camp and stuff. Steve would call sometimes, make sure I was ok," she lets out a little laugh, oblivious to Bucky's sudden nausea at the sound of his best friend's name. "We actually broke into your old apartment. It was still technically a crime scene but I knew there was stuff in there that you'd want."

"Doll," he interrupts with a sigh, "you didn't have to do that. It-all that stuff was just stuff."

Her fingers pull on his hair, enough to make him wince. "Not to me," she insists, "That "stuff" was you a-and us. It was our life before we were even allowed to have a life and I couldn't just let them box it up as evidence."

Guilty, Bucky swallows the lump in his throat and nods. Of course those things, the letters and drawings and stories all meant something to him, but not enough for her and Steve to risk punishment for. Never enough for that. He wishes she'd see that.

"After Thanos," she continues, voice falling weak. "I stayed in Romania for as long as I could, trying to help everyone. It-it was pure chaos, all these people trying to figure out what was going on. And the whole time I kept thinking of you. As soon as footage of the attack in New York got out, I knew he'd be going for you. I-I thought that you'd be fine. You're so fucking stubborn I knew there's no way you wouldn't survive.

"Even when people started to disappear, I didn't-I couldn't even convince myself that you would be one of them. It was a few days later when Steve called. I knew before I even answered the phone."

At the first sniffle, Bucky sits up, pushing himself to sit next to her. Before he can even reach for her, she's climbing into his lap, laying her head on his right shoulder and setting her hand over his heart. He holds her tight, trying his best to soak up her tears.

"It was so unfair Bucky," she whimpers, "because I was just about to get you back a-and you were supposed to finally be happy and he took you from me. After everything you've been through, you lost even more of your life and I couldn't do a damn thing about it."

Fighting back his own tears, he shushes her. "I'm here now, and I'm happy," he promises. "I'm always happy when I'm with you. What happened isn't your fault y/n. I'd never blame you for that."

If possible, she snuggles even closer to him. "I thought I could ignore it. I could stay there and pretend you were still just in Wakanda, getting better so that you could come home."

Bucky's heart aches at that. Picturing his girl, his kind and strong girl, saving and repairing lives in a war torn society, pretending that the man who loves her will be coming home soon when it reality he didn't exist anymore...it all hurts him too much. It's all too much, especially knowing that she loves him enough to live in denial just to imagine he's with her.

"But everyone kept asking who I lost, where were we when it happened and I kept insisting that it didn't matter because you were coming back and we were going to live happily ever after. I realized that we don't have a home, you and I, and I remembered you talking about moving to Brooklyn one day. That you wanted to go back to your home city.

"I couldn't bring myself to move there without you. It didn't feel right. So I picked Queens. It's close and the hospital nearby had an opening in the ER, so I figured why not? That way when Steve got off his ass and decided this time he was going to save his best friend, you'd have somewhere to come home to."

Steve, his best friend. The man that couldn't find enough of a reason to stay. Bucky wasn't enough to make him stay, because he has his soulmate here with him, and Steve's was long gone. He chose love over friendship and Bucky wishes he could hate him for that, but he can't, because he chose y/n too. If it weren't for her, he'd have been begging to go back to the 40s too.

Gently, he grips her chin between his thumb and forefinger, guiding her to look up at him. Through wet eyelashes and puffy eyes, she looks at him with so much love he can feel it burning in his chest. A kiss to each of her tear stained cheeks.

"Thank you doll," he whispers, "for never giving up on me. For doing all this for me-for us." He swipes his knuckle over her chin, smiling softly when she giggles. He missed that. "I love you."

He kisses her, cupping her jaw and pulling her into him until it feels like they're one being. Her fingers trace over the edge of his left arm, chills running up his spine. He missed that too.

"You're getting soft on me James," she teases breathlessly, smiling against his lips. He hums in agreement. He did get soft for her, but he doesn't fucking care. No one will ever make him feel bad for loving her. "I love you too Buck. Always will."

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