#the way they love is so pure and unapologetically genuine

[libraryofgage]

Decided to combine 4 and 12 of the prompt list! Something about these two prompts was giving me major Addams Family vibes, so I rolled with it lol

If there are any other prompts you want to see written, lemme know!

4. “You know I’d do anything to have you stay by my side, right? Anything.”  

12. “I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

Wherein the Munsons are branches on the Addams Family tree, and Steve finds himself the object of Eddie Munson's flirtations and devotion.

---

When the Munsons move in next door, Steve sits his brother down in the living room and says, "Don't bother them, Dustin. Wait, like, three days before asking for their life stories."

Dustin looks offended, to say the least. "I wasn't gonna ask for their life stories, Steve. I was gonna ask where they got all the bats and birds that hang out on their roof."

Honestly, Steve would love the answer to that, too, but that seems to be encroaching on the "life story" territory, considering the sheer number of flying creatures the Munsons brought with them. He'd been outside getting the mail when the Munson kids, a boy his own age and a girl Dustin's age, had opened a tiny cat carrier, and a veritable storm of black wings and feathers and screeching had somehow come streaming out of it.

The girl was watching them with a smile, and the boy turned around like he'd felt Steve staring. Their gazes met, and Steve's awkward wave was returned with the boy's eyes raking over him before winking with a grin.

"Look, ju-"

Steve's words are cut off by a banging on the door, the person knocking out a beat that he can't follow. He shoots Dustin a look to stay put before he opens the door to find the Munson boy on the other side. He's got that same playful grin and a plate of pitch-black...something in his hands.

"Uh, hi?"

Somehow, the boy's grin gets wider, and he shoves the plate into Steve's hands. "Heeeellooo, big boy," he says, his voice almost lowering into a purr that makes heat flood Steve's cheeks. "Wayne wanted me to drop off some of his famous arsenic and chocolate chip cookies. You know, since we're neighbors and all."

"Wayne? Arsenic?" Steve mumbles, looking down at the cookies warily.

"Our uncle," the boy says, leaning on the doorway and crossing his arms as he looks Steve up and down again. "Don't worry, it won't kill you. Yet. That's a friend of the family privilege, at least, and you just ain't there yet."

It must be a joke, and Steve lets out a strained laugh. He balances the plate in one hand and holds his other one out. "Right, well, uh, nice to meet you. I'm Steve. You'll probably meet my brother, Dustin, later."

The boy takes his hand, but instead of shaking it, he brings it up to his lips. Then he turns Steve's hand over, brushing his lips across the meat of his palm before nipping. Steve jerks, yanking his hand back and holding it close to his chest, his heart beating erratically as the boy says, "I'm Eddie, my sister's name is El, and I'm going to have so much fun with you, Stevie."

And with that, Eddie turns on his heel and saunters back to the Munson home, which had been painted pitch-black (just like the cookies) at some point. Steve doesn't move from the open door, feeling a faint tingling in his palm, until he hears Dustin shout that he's going to let all the cold air out.

The arsenic and chocolate chip cookies had not, in fact, killed either of them. And, despite their burnt-to-coal appearance, they were soft and chewy. It had immediately put the Munsons in Dustin's good graces, which he happily proclaimed while Steve's head and heart were still reeling from Eddie's introduction.

In the following weeks, Eddie kept popping up whenever Steve left the house. He never overstepped, though. He'd appear at a distance, wait for Steve to wave or say hi, and then approach with that big grin with canine teeth that looked a little sharper than they should. Sometimes he'd offer more baked goods from Wayne (always with some schtick to them: eye of newt brownies, hag's breath toffee, cyanide and cherry pie). On one notable occasion, he'd offered a baseball bat with nails stuck through the end.

"El let out a demodog the other day, so you probably ought to be careful. I'd hate for you to get hurt by something that wasn't me," Eddie had said as Steve confusedly took the bat.

He blinked when he had processed the words and looked up. "You would hurt me?" Steve asked.

Eddie had leaned close, his ringed fingers ghosting over Steve's side and inching closer to his waist, and whispered, "It wouldn't just hurt, Stevie." His words had sent a shiver down Steve's spine, his mouth suddenly dry as Eddie pulled away.

And their interactions had escalated from there. With every meeting, Eddie strayed closer, lingered longer, spoke softer, and Steve couldn't escape the growing devotion and fascination in his eyes. At some point, Steve knew, things were bound to boil over.

So, he definitely wasn't surprised when they did at the neighborhood's annual Fourth of July cookout. Eddie had waited until El and Dustin were distracted by their other friends, checked to make sure Wayne was sufficiently busy with helping at the grill, and then kidnapped Steve to a hidden corner of the Byers's yard.

Which brings Steve to the present, the Byers's house casting a long shadow over him and Eddie so nobody notices them. The sound of other kids screeching with delight and parents discussing summer camps fades when Eddie leans in closer.

"You know I'd do anything to have you stay by my side, right? Anything?" Eddie asks, tilting Steve's chin up as he crowds him against the wall.

Steve presses back against the cool brick, silently holding Eddie's gaze. There's a stark seriousness to his words, and Steve can't help his curiosity about just what anything encompasses. "Would you kill for me?" he asks, his voice soft.

Eddie practically lights up, a feral grin pulling at his lips. "Gladly, sweetheart," he purrs.

"Would you die for me?"

"I'd tear out my heart and present it on a fucking silver platter for you. In fact, I can do it right now, if you'd like." A knife appears in his hand from seemingly nowhere, and Eddie brings it to his own chest only for Steve to stop him by grabbing his wrist.

"Then, what about living for me?" Steve asks, carefully taking the knife from Eddie and smoothly returning it to the holder tucked into his jeans.

Eddie leans in until their noses brush, his hand cupping Steve's jaw. "I wouldn't even dream of dying without your permission, Stevie," he whispers.

And Steve would fucking love to meet the person who could withstand Eddie Munson's attention and flirting and gifts and care and sheer devotion without falling head-over-heels for him. Steve would want to put that person in a jar, study them, see if their indifference is something he could mass produce. He's sure Eddie would be thrilled to help him do it, too.

"I have one request," Steve whispers back, reaching up and pushing his hand into Eddie's hair, warmth rushing through him when Eddie leans into the touch.

"Anything. Say the word, and I wouldn't hesitate to crawl through hot coals and broken glass." Steve has zero doubts Eddie would; in fact, he knows Eddie would be ecstatic to do it, if only for the chance to make Steve smile.

"I want one of the bats. And Dustin wants a demodog, but you better make sure it doesn't hurt him, or I'll make you listen to bubblegum pop and watch a Disney marathon."

Steve can feel the shudder that goes through Eddie, his eyes revealing a mix of horror, pride, and love at Steve's words. "You, Stevie, have perfected the art of making threats. Consider your two requests granted and me sufficiently...threatened," Eddie breathes, somehow managing to press even closer.

And Steve can't make either of them wait a second longer. With a grin that can easily rival Eddie's, Steve kisses him and begins to think of names for his bat.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fluff #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #addams family #stranger things #i just love the addams family so much #one of my favorite aus to make actually #the way they love is so pure and unapologetically genuine #even if it's different from the norm of love and courtship #that makes it even more romantic #my writing

[seventies-arcana]

PAC: you're someone's muse; this is how they'd describe you

good evening lovies, i hope tonights super moon is treating you well. in this pac reading, you will find out how someone would describe you if you were their muse. this reading is purely for entertainment and enjoyment purposes.

ask upon your guides/higher self to help guide you to whichever pile/photo you should pick, then read the corresponding message. images are not mine

pick a picture to begin✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

pile one (the field): pleasing + give way

you are such a pleasing and enjoyable person to spend time with. the things you are able to do, no matter how minuscule you might find them to be, are awe-striking. there's a passion behind your eyes that adds to the radiance that surrounds you. with this, you are very attentive. you remember things people say which makes others feel seen in a way they've never felt before. you're down for whatever in the best way possible and it makes you someone that could only ever be described as fun to be around. you're adventurous at heart and consider home to be wherever your loved ones are. this makes people feel safe around you. the smell of late summer, campfires and sunflowers is something to be associated with you. you're a breath of fresh air.

pile two (the clementine): care + apple of the eye

oh, you are just so sweet. so kindhearted. you care for people so deeply and love so wholeheartedly. you make people see their insecurities as something to find beautiful. your hugs make people feel protected, it is easy to fall asleep when wrapped up in your arms. your eyes are mesmerizing, so easy to get lost in. one moment, they are doe-like, the next, the exact opposite. it's the way you flirt with your eyes that makes others feel so weak in the knees. but this doesn't make you cheeky. in fact, you are loyal and committed to the one you love. because when you love, you love intensely. you are a romantic at heart. your energy is reminiscent of candle lit homemade dinners that begin a night of endless cuddles. of fresh florals and luscious baths. you are a place of comfort.

pile three (the cat): challenge + puppy energy

you will never lower your standards or settle for someone who isn't what you want, and that is just so attractive. you know what type of relationships you want and that adds to your appeal. not just anyone can be the reciprocator of your divine affection. you speak to people once and they cant help but want to learn more about you. you're siren-like without even intending to be. once you truly let someone into your heart, you become such a lovable softie. you are so sweet and wholesome when you love, no one would ever guess it. your reminiscent of fresh linen blankets in perfectly cool rooms. your touch is soft and soothing. when you smile, genuinely smile, it brightens the mood of anyone around to see it. to be able to receive the love you give is one in a million. you are unlike anyone else.

pile four (the beach): no judgements + new perspectives

you are the model example of how everyone should be. you are accepting of people, no matter their status, and care deeply for those who may have been overlooked by others. you treat people however they treat you. you know your worth and will never let someone tarnish it. you are unapologetically yourself and that is something so rare to find, it makes others captivated by you. nonetheless, you are mysterious. you savor some aspects of yourself and only show them to the people you love. these aspects of you are the most rewarding thing to experience. every now and then, you can be mischievous. but it is all in good fun. you are filled with surprises and each one of them adds to your allure. you remind others of violets and nights spent walking along the coastline. you are utterly captivating.

please like, follow, and reblog! i appreciate it a lot :)

#seventies arcana #tarotblr #tarot community #divination #tarot #spirituality #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card reading #tarot reading #tarot readings #pac reading #pac #channeled message #channeled reading #muse #love #free tarot #free tarot readings #oracle #oracle reading #Spotify

[fushigurro]

𝙏𝙊 𝘽𝙀 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀𝘿 𝘽𝙔 𝙔𝙊𝙐.

𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗨 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 𝗫 𝗚𝗡!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥. ⌇ fluff / established relationship / cuddling. that’s pretty much it it’s basically just pure fluff!!! but really sappy because apparently i’m in a mood. there’s some slight selfship vibes because i couldn’t help myself but overall i don’t think it’s too bad / 1.1k words

HAPPY EARLY VALENTINE’S DAY!!! i got hit with this all of a sudden and decided to write and share it while i had the time/motivation. hope you enjoy, this made me rather emotional to write tbh!

He’s like a large dog that’s unaware of its own size, inviting itself to sit upon its owner’s lap despite the near crushing weight of its body. That’s the best comparison you have to how Satoru positions himself as you relax together in bed, his torso covering your own as his head rests happily upon your chest.

The hour is late and it would serve you both well to properly dress down and nest beneath the covers for the night, but the energy for the task has yet to strike either of you, and, well… it simply feels nice to be close like this, even if you’re admittedly struggling to breathe. Satoru’s weight is heavy upon your ribcage, his muscles limp and eyes closed with the intent to drift off at any moment.

You’ve lulled him into a state close to slumber with your rhythmic breathing and the dancing of your fingertips along his scalp, white strands of beautiful silk slipping between your digits in a most soothing manner. He could write endless prose about how your heartbeat feels like home thumping beneath him, and the tender touch of your hands helps welcome him to the abode. Your presence brings him closer to peace than almost anything ever has, and that’s why you feel reluctant to disturb his rest. But he is indeed stealing your breath, and not in a lyrical way.

“Satoru, baby… you’re crushing me.”

Your confession is soft and warm against him like an angel’s breath, and that only makes him want to further solidify his position, to hold down his fort.

Without even opening his eyes, he just petulantly hums against you in protest, almost like a whine as he tightens his grip and more forcefully presses his cheek to your chest.

You wriggle beneath him, the motion providing you with an inkling of relief so that you’re able to settle again, allowing Satoru to continue his reign unchallenged. You simply sigh as you both go lax again, falling into the same quiet rhythm as before.

This time you pay more attention to the familiar slope of his nose, the gentle white sweep of his eyelashes, the pink tint of cheeks heated by contentment and fatigue. What a beautiful form, not just for being cut in ways that are pleasing to the eye, but for being completely and unapologetically him. And for waiting on you to love him like you do now.

There’s a sensation in your chest and it isn’t from the weight of Satoru’s skull on it. It isn’t sudden either—it’s more so like it has been there for some time, and you’ve just now taken the notion to realize it. There is no fright or ambiguity. Only peace and acceptance.

“Satoru,” you call in a gentle yet determined breath as you gaze down upon him. He is unaware.

“Hm,” he replies. It’s a half-conscious staccato grunt of acknowledgement. Your fingers still their motions in his hair.

“Do you wanna marry me?”

You speak as casually as you might when asking him what he wants for dinner.

It takes a moment for it to register, but when it does, he’s sleepily opening his eyes and resting his chin on your chest to look up at you with genuine inquiry. “Huh?” His hair is mussed, blue eyes squinted, brain layered with fog.

You repeat yourself, expression neutral. “Do you wanna marry me?”

The second utterance from your lips rouses him further from his tired state, body shifting somewhat from the fresh anticipation, his eyes still glued to your face.

“Yeah… yeah, of course I do.” It’s the truth. He’s made it rather clear on several occasions, whether it be through somewhat teasing tongue-in-cheek remarks or more serious speculations about how he always pictures you in his future. But what you don’t know is that he’s had a ring picked out for you for quite some time now, waiting until the moment it seemed like you loved him enough to not say ‘no.’

Satoru’s bleary eyes now sparkle with hope as he watches you, wondering what this is all supposed to mean.

Valentine’s Day is in a mere few days but that matters little to you. What really does matter is that feeling in your chest, that realization that came from being willing to let him smother you beneath his weight if only to allow him a few more moments of peace. The realization that you would gladly run short on oxygen for him because you know he would do the same for you in return. The realization that you gladly linger on the beauty of his existence and his willingness to offer you his vulnerability on a silver platter. The realization that you aren’t afraid to love him anymore.

This wasn’t planned. It wasn’t overthought. It simply blossomed following a period of growth.

Finally, after a few more moments of letting that feeling settle, you speak. “Well… will you?”

His gaze never falters, but he’s propping himself up more properly now, jaw going slack as he searches your face for any signs of humor or dishonesty.

“Will I…?” he trails off, dumbstruck, brain working to become fully alert as his heart thumps.

“Will you marry me?”

Satoru is still unsure of whether or not you’re joking, but if you were, he’d say you’re the greatest actor on the face of the planet. Your expression is serious, determined, and unwavering, and it causes every inch of him to flutter. Surely he’s dreaming. Surely this isn’t truly happening.

“Don’t mess around with me,” he says defensively yet with a hint of hope still coloring his tone. He’s expecting you to grin and laugh, to say that it was all in good fun. But your aura remains sincere.

Your hands move up to cup his cheeks, thumbs stroking over the rosy hue as you speak. “Do I look like I’m messing around?”

Several beats of silence pass and your eyes are locked, and Satoru gently shakes his head after discerning that you are in fact not playing a practical joke. Looking closely enough, you swear you see the subtle mist of tears adorning his lower lashes.

“…So?” you question in a half-whisper, urging him to give you an answer despite the suddenness of it all.

Satoru blinks and stares, absorbing it, accepting it as reality and internally rejoicing.

Finally.

He had bought the ring but you had asked the question. You’d met each other in the middle without even knowing it, without him having to roundabout beg for it anymore. It’s all he ever could’ve hoped for.

“Yes.”

#satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo fluff #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #my writing. #re: satoru gojo

[delwrites]

Mundane Life

pure fluff with sirius black

(i cannot stress how fluffy this is, softest thing i've ever written)

“Okay baby, what colour would you like today?” his wolfish grin sends you into a frenzy, eyes dropping to the multitude of nail polish bottles in a box which his ring-clad hands had taken ahold of. A soft indie rock playlist played gently in the background, Tommy’s Party by Peach Pit having just started, the intro making a faint smile come onto his face as he jostles the box around, making the colours fly around too.

After you pick your favourite colour from the options, you hand it to him and place your hands palm-down on a cushion that he had placed down for you. These softer moments were always your favourite with him, where he’d be calm enough to be present and still with you, a small smile always on his face, his raspy voice softly singing along to the playlist he’d made for you, music being the easiest way for him to express his feelings for you. It frustrated him often, not being able to fully express his love for you. He just feels it bottled up inside, having no clue how to put the strong emotions into words, so he lets his favourite artists do it for him. 

He grabs hold of the sleeves of your (read: his) jumper, rolling them up for better access to your hands, seeing as his sleeves drown your hands, making his job much harder. The simple, domestic action caused a blush to spread across your cheeks, something that happened often with how tender he always was with you. You don’t remember a time he’s ever raised his voice at you, knowing how much it hurts and never wanting to inflict that on you himself. He can’t ever begin to imagine using his touch in a harsh way with you, and he proves this to you every day with his forbearing touches, restrained squeeze on your hip, barely there hand on the dip of your back, guiding you through crowds, hand combing through your hair as he urges your head into his chest, bringing you the comfort of being surrounded by him and him alone, fully trusting him with your life.

As he gets started on your right hand, you get the opportunity to study his face, no walls up, no faking his happiness because he thinks he has to play this optimistic, funny caricature he’s created by accident. No, around you he can always be unapologetically, unequivocally himself. 

As the next song plays (Darling by Christian Leave), he grabs your hand off of the cushion, torso moving down slightly to blow on the nails he had just painted, manoeuvring your hand with a gentility his other friends wouldn’t even think him capable of. Once he deemed his work acceptable, he placed a delicate kiss on your hand, before urging you to place your left hand down on the cushion for him to continue his work. 

 “You look so pretty like this, Siri.” You weren’t wrong. Earlier on in the evening, he had let you take his hair back in one of your girliest clips, putting it up for him, even though his unruly curls rebelled, strands falling out the front to frame his face over time. He even had some makeup on left over from when he’d insisted you do it for him that morning, large hands pulling your thighs to sit on his lap so you could be close enough to him to do a thorough job. 

He smiles a genuine smile, one he reserves for very few people, and caps the nail polish bottle to place a calloused hand on the side of your face, thumb caressing your cheek as he looks at you with so much love in his eyes. You could feel your breathing sync up, hearts intertwined and beating as one. The stillness in the room made a calming peace envelop the both of you, as if you were the only ones in the world. 

You revelled in the fact that he could just hold you like this, you both just staring at each other with so much love and admiration for the other, so much trust in your relationship that even if any doubts were to ever overcome one of you, you’d know you could sort it out easily. The fact that you could both just sit with one another like this, not needing to kiss, not needing anything to be said, just knowing that you love each other and that was all that mattered. You knew you meant as much to him as he meant to you, having helped each other through everything you’d had to endure so far, and were bound to endure in the future.

“Cmon Pads, you’ve still got another hand to do” you said through a cheeky smile, one which had him laughing, so softly you’d almost mistaken it to only be meant for himself.

“Cmere, little minx” with that, he takes your left hand, being sure to give that one its respective kiss too before starting to paint again. 

“Such soft hands”, it’s barely a whisper, the Great Sirius Black not being able to trust his voice enough in your presence, the effect you have on him being monstrous. It was no surprise to you that he liked your hands, the level of trust and comfort you’d achieved with each other not having come from secrets, after all. The main reason they were soft in the first place was because he was always smothering them in hand cream, a habit he’d picked up for himself from his years of guitar playing, which he was more than happy to pass onto you. He was always grabbing one of your hands to hold onto as you walked the streets, or even just laying together, fiddling with your fingers, placing his ring on your ring-finger, muttering to himself about ‘one day…’. 

Once he’d finished his artwork, he grinned proudly at you, lopsided and true, straightening up to sit perched on his knees, grabbing at your hands to better show you his work. You couldn't help the smile that overtook you as he boasted about how good a job he'd done, leaning over his makeshift nail station to place a kiss to his hairline, where his hair met his forehead, saying that you thought they looked simply beautiful.

"Thank you darling, truly. My turn!"

i'm honestly super proud of this :) thank you so much for reading!!

#sirius black imagine #sirius x you #sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #sirius black #sirius x y/n #sirius fluff #sirius black fluff #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders fluff #marauders #marauders headcanon #sirius black drabble

[momentomori24]

I haven't seen anyone talk about it in detail if at all, so I'll just throw this out there: Is it just me, or are Ashley's feelings for Andrew very not romantic?

Just to be very clear-- this isn't me trying to sanitize the incest present in their relationship or twist it into pure unproblematic platonicness despite everything in the game being a hellish, dystopiant, grotesque, unapologetic mess (in a good way), just an observation that's been on my mind for a while.

We know Andrew is absolutely, 100% romantically attracted to his sister especially through both his inner monologues, relationship with Julia and of course, The Scene. But I never really got that same attraction from Ashley. She loves to degree where it can't be considered platonic, but there's a blunt edge to her affection I wouldn't call romantic either.

She's obviously been obsessed with him from a young age as he's the only person she had to cling to without worrying that he'd leave her. She doesn't treat him like a person, she treats him like a coveted toy that only she can play with. Between borderline neglegent parents, untreated apathy issues, a major abandonment complex and a parentified brother/psuedo-dad, unhealthy attachments and toxic tendencies can go real bad real quick. Go figure. It's possessive, referring to her brother as hers and something that's considered stolen the moment someone else has an interest in it, but it feels a lot more "innocent" than Andrew's possessiveness of her. Andrew is hers to have because he's her brother, just like how a plaything would be hers because it was bought for her-- there doesn't seem to be anything more to it than that.

I think the best example of that is their reaction to the Vision in the Burrial route:

Unlike Andrew, who is disturbingly flustered rather than reasonably revolted, she just... doesn't have a reaction to it. They've already trapped themselves in a box with each other and commited some of the worst atrocities imaginable, so she just chalks it up to another thing to add to their crimes list. Her causual playfulness and indifference to the situation is such a strong contrast to Andrew's desperate denial and really shows her feelings about the whole thing. Or lack of, as she isn't at all fazed about it. You'd think that she'd be thrilled, or excited or equally as flustered as Andrew at the thought of their relationship taking the next big step, but there isn't any of that here. Despite her jealousy, obsession, possessiveness and extreme closeness, it doesn't seem that there was ever any romantic intent involved on her end (or at least none that she knows of). Heck, she even voices her confusion when Andrew confesses he read her actions that way:

There is something funny about going through the story thinking ''ok i get it she's the obsessed yandere sister with a brother complex i see you game'' only to be hit with the revelation that it's the complete opposite way around. Basically just Ashley hitting both Andrew AND the players with the "wait you really saw me like that what did i even do to make you think that??" at the very end and it is baffling. The fact that she seems genuinely oblivious to how she comes off is both a little cute and unexpectedly innocent, but also cements just how little she grew up from when she was a kid.

But I think this line from her really encapsulates their relationship perfectly:

One way to keep him around. She won't sleep with him because of some repressed sexual tension or genuine (messed up) affection, but because she views it as transactional. She loves Andy, that version of her brother who went along with whatever she wanted and cared about her despite all her issues when no one else did. She always acts uncaring towards other people, but it's so obvious that she's lonely. That the people she cares about not caring about her has an effect on her. We see it with their mom, the way she continued to call her despite the abuse and neglect she put her through and immediately assumes she wouldn't have wanted them to find her because she feels that unwanted. We see it with her ''friends'', the way she felt so betrayed by how they basically left her for dead in that apartment without bothering to try throwing some food up their balcony. She didn't even care if they would've succeeded or not-- she just wanted someone to try. She clings so viciously to her brother because he's all she has left. She's been labelled unlovable by everyone else in her life, and the moment he leaves her for someone more stable, she's alone for good. Andy needed her the same way she needed him, but now he's gone, and Andrew is more unpredictable than ever. His nightmares have gotten better, so he doesn't need her to sleep easier at night (not that he did in the first place). He's better at having a social life too, so surrounding himself with others and getting his life together shouldn't be too hard. He doesn't need her the way she needs him anymore, but she knows that Andrew wants her, so she'll give herself to him before anyone else can if it means that he'll stay. Which, by the way, is such a good parallel to her mom's own mindset when it comes to relationships (like mother like daughter ammirite). It's so far from love; it's just blatant codependancy she doesn't acknowledge on her end, something we see Andrew both enable and take advantage of whether he realises or not. And I think that's a more nuanced, fascinating trait of her character rather than just the ''yandere sister in love with her brother'' trope.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading this messy, hopefully coherent analysis of our gravecest couple, mostly focused on Ashley. And who knows, maybe she IS in love with Andrew and I completely misinterpreted her feelings for him, but until proven otherwise I'll keep clinging to this theory. This GAME THE-- [GUNSHOTS].

#the coffin of andy and leyley #ashley graves #andrew graves #gravecest #i wonder if another reason Ashley wasn't freaked out about the vision was because she doesn't see him as her ''brother'' #andy was her brother and the person she loved more than anything while andrew is the guy she clings to because he's the next best thing #but she recognises that he's not the same person he once was so that makes him more of a stranger with andy's appearance than anything else #just food for thought #proof reading this later hopefully

[homicidal-lingonberry]

Some thoughts on Todd,

he started out as one of my least favorite evil exes, but I think part of that was simply that I could not quite figure out his motivations for a while. what is he gaining from being an evil ex? Why does he cheat on envy and veganism? I think I finally do understand his motivations now tho, and I am appreciating him more for it! and it also makes him seem a lot less jerky.

thoughts are mostly going to be coming from the comic and anime, with a lot of thoughts on his fling with wallace as well.

Todd is basically a pushover who is incredibly out of touch with his own feelings, and overvalues external validation. he is not the type to ever go for what he wants. not purely, not truly. he commits to what he thinks he is supposed to. goes for what he thinks he Should want instead of what he really does.

He isnt a vegan bc he wants to be. he's a vegan bc his father told him he'd never have the willpower to do so! I feel he is also in a relationship with envy bc he thinks he should be. childhood friends, and she wants him? and she's drop dead gorgeous, talented, and successful? he'd be crazy to say no, right?

I think him joining the league was a similar situation. It seemed like what everyone else was doing. so clearly, thats what he should do too, right?

But these arent the things he wants. He places value on these things bc other people do. But these things dont satisfy him, and inside him is an itch to act out in rebellion. the part of him that knows he isnt being true to himself. and he cheats!

He cheats to feel a sense of control over a life that is in no way his own. and I think that is why he feels so much for wallace.

bc why should he be with wallace? why would that be the obvious choice to anyone? It would be so silly to throw everything he has away for some guy he's just met. A guy that most people in his circle would probably consider a major downgrade compared to The Envy Adams.

but he is experiencing genuine attraction!! he is feeling fireworks!! he isnt messing around with someone who is simply a trophy or status symbol. Someone he thinks he should want, but doesnt really. he's messing around with someone who actually gets him going!!

Someone who he is into enough to realize that what he's doing with Envy is absolute bs!!! that everything he is doing is absolute bs!! And he chooses the real desire he has for Wallace, even tho it should seem like the wrong thing to do. In breaking up with Envy to pursue Wallace, Todd is finally Openly doing what he wants, breaking his former pattern of pushing it all down until it seeps out in secret rebellion.

and thats why he stops being vegan as well I think. he realizes its not something he ever truly wanted, he just wanted validation from his dad who was never going to give it to him anyway. And with the new revelation of choice, he quickly casts it aside.

While it seems like he lands in a rough place compared to the other exes, and it seems like wallace fucked him up bad, I think wallace gave him exactly what he needed. Wallace was never going to be the love of his life or happily ever after- Wallace was a wake up call.

Who better to show Todd how to get in touch with his repressed desires than Wallace, a man that denies himself no pleasure, and assertively goes for what he wants? Suddenly Todd can see he is allowed to be unapologetically himself. he doesnt have to be this person he hates being anymore.

What Wallace leaves Todd with is a new foundation to build something true on. One that takes into consideration that Todd is his own person. Its barren, but its steadier than the old one made of lies. and while he's got a lot to learn about himself, I think he will consider his own heart more fully from now on.

Where we see Todd at the end of the anime, he thinks he loves Wallace. But really, he's finally beginning to love and honor himself, and feeling more connected with his own heart than ever. <3

#scott pilgrim #spto #scott pilgrim takes off #todd ingram #toddallace

[bsd-fan]

Dazai osamu: Evolution

In a lot of ways this is where my Dazai analysis will really start, this is going to be insanely long so be prepared. It also has spoilers of the manga, anime, and most of the light novels.

I’ve talked about how is a mistake to measure Dazai’s character growth in terms of morality, because that has never been the main point of his characterization. Being a “good” or a “Bad” person is not as important as the fandom makes it to be. Dazai is unapologetically a morally grey character and he will always be. However, this doesn’t mean that Dazai hasn’t changed.

He has and it goes far beyond him changing into a boring trench coat and calling himself a detective. He has changed so fundamentally speaking that I’d go and say that right now is the most developed character in this area and the thing that make this even more surprising is that his character growth has not finished yet. He keeps evolving.

To understand this let’s start analyzing him chronologically:

Fifteen year old Dazai is probably the lowest we’ve ever seen Dazai. Starting fifteen, Dazai is showed to us as someone who genuinely wants to die, he is /not/ attempting suicide as a joke, is not a comedic relief. Fifteen year old Dazai wants to die with a desperation that borders on madness. He is so tired of living, so bored of life and the people that surround him, about how predictable they are, about how easy is to manipulate them, there’s not a thing in this world that can surprise him, he is living in this permanent state of numbness. He is completely lonely in a world that will never be able to understand him. And let me make a pause to talk about the fact that it has been /heavily/ implied that Dazai was living in this situation for a long time. People loves to blame Mori for Dazai’s personality but this is simply and canonically speaking not true.

Dazai has already formed most of his worse personality traits by the time Mori found him. Let me remind you that they met when Mori saved Dazai’s life /after/ he attempted suicide at fourteen. Fandom loves to act as Dazai was a perfectly healthy kid that Mori ruined when that’s not true. Mori made it worse, yes. But he wasn’t the cause of it.

“Miscalculation.

You misjudged the situation, he told himself. You failed to pick the optimal solution. You shouldn’t have chosen this child to help you. Dazai is unpredictable. He can be sharp but in a dark, twisted way. He’s observant. He’s cold and calculating with no equivalent even in the mafia, where the most evil reside”- Mori about Dazai, ligh novel fifteen.

I will talk about this more depth in another essay about Soukoku and the mafia but this is important to aknowledge. Dazai was like this even /before/ Mori’s influence, Mori was scared of him even when Dazai was just a child because he saw how deeply disconnected from his humanity he was. How cruel, cold and calculating he could be.

So going back to the main idea, at this point of the story, Dazai is already numb, manipulative, and machiavellian, he doesn’t trust in anyone and his only real connection is with Mori that looks at him like a convenient weapon to wield. But the most important trait of Dazai at this age? Is how deeply apathetic Dazai is to everything. At this stage of life Dazai lives in a pure nihilism, he doesn’t believe in /anything/, he conceives life as completely meaningless, he doesn’t see a point in existing when there’s no a reason for it. It’s so bad that it’s funny. Mori knows about the /raw/ potential in Dazai, about how valuable he can be as a tool but he can’t use him because Dazai is so unmotivated that he simply doesn’t give a damn about anything. He is a genius and he only uses his intellect to try to kill himself. He can’t be bothered with anything else, even breathing is an annoying task and a waste of effort and then…this happens:

I’m not pointing this out as a soukoku shipper because this is not even a soukoku analysis, this is all about Dazai. People will always talk about Fifteen importance for chuuya, but fifteen was also fundamental in Dazai’s arc.

Cold and apathetic Dazai was literally kicked in the face by his biggest narrative foil. Chuuya who is loud, and ridiculously emotional, who can’t for the life of him hide his expressions, who is a terrible liar, impulsive, pathologically loyal to the point of idiocy, and so fucking full of vitality, so hungry for life. And so /unbearable human/. And then Dazai gets annoyed, and surprised, and out of nowhere he is screaming at the top of his lungs, showing /emotion/, he is curious, he is intrigued. He went from saying that breathing is such a hassle to fucking throwing a party and singing happily while he, in person, decorates, he even got a cake for fuck’s sake.

He doesn’t understand chuuya, he is curious about the sheep dynamics and as the story progresses we realize that this is probably the first time that Dazai fucks up, he failed to predict a situation, he didn’t saw it coming.

He wasn’t able to realize that Chuuya was Arahabaki, he didn’t even thought about that possibility. Because since the first moment, he never thought that chuuya could be something else than human. He didn’t saw Rimbaud coming because the idea of a person going that far for someone else? Is ridiculous, it doesn’t make sense, is illogical. It’s not how people are supposed to act.

“-So it’s all for your partner-Dazai said listlessly- Betraying the mafia, spreading rumors about the old boss’s resurrection, this fight we’re in now…it’s kind of hard to believe, to be honest

-Maybe for a slimeball like you it is- Chuuya scoffed. He looked up at Randou- Throwing everything away for your friends is a perfectly respectable reason to risk your life if you ask me”- Dazai and chuuya, fifteen years old. (Pause to scream about how much I love chuuya, help)

So basically every thing that happened in fifteen leads to this:

And this guys, is one of the angular stones in Dazai’s development.

“The boy’s eyes were as clear as the sky on a sunny day; they lacked any shred of trepidation. This was not something earned, for only those determined to live could possess their heavenly blue sparkle”- about Dazai, fifteen.

This is the /only/ moment in the entirety of the series where Dazai not only doesn’t want to die, but that he /actively/ is looking towards life. The only moment in all bsd, Dazai is excited at the perspective of living. Fifteen is so important because this is the first time, Dazai’s view of life is challenged. Dazai was wrong. He made mistakes. People are not as predictable and boring as he thought. Dazai doesn’t suddenly start thinking that life has meaning, but he starts thinking that it /may/ exist, he just hasn’t found it yet.

This scene makes a radical switch in Dazai’s character because his primary goal changed from wanting to die to finding a reason to live.

In fifteen Dazai found hope, and everything that came after is possible because of this.

And it’s logical to an extent. He doesn’t understand life, but maybe if he understands death he can come closer to understand it. People always lie but when they are about to die? People become genuine, pretensions disappear, what do you cling to when you don’t have anything? When you’re dying, why do you keep fighting? If he can understand this, then maybe he can understand the sense in life. Maybe he can connect with his own desires and emotions. Maybe he can find his own reason to exist.

Unfortunately this doesn’t last.

By stormbringer, Dazai falls into despair once again, he goes back to looking for his death.

“Dazai glanced back at him, perhaps amused by this, then he muttered as if he was talking to himself. -I couldn’t find anything in the end’- Dazai osamu, stormbringer

“It seems true that he wants to die. It seems that all the value standards of living reflected in his eyes are just as worthless and ugly as scrap iron”- Oda about Dazai, The day I picked up Dazai osamu side A, translated by poppopretty

For a long time, I thought that was the culmination of Dazai’s development as a character. He went from wanting to die to trying to find a reason to live, he struggles but he is trying.

I was wrong.

Chuuya solves his main conflict in stormbringer, Dazai doesn’t. To understand this, we need to understand that one the main themes in Bungou stray dogs is existentialism.

In simple (extremely simple) words existentialism can be defined as: “ the philosophical belief we are each responsible for creating purpose or meaning in our own lives”. Which means that in a way existentialism also understands that life can be meaningless, that maybe there’s not a big purpose in existence BUT that doesn’t have to mean that it has to stay that way. Existentialism defends that people can find their own purpose and maybe is not something big, it may be not life changing for others, but is something people cling to and that’s enough to give sense to the world. I will be talking more in depth about this in chuuya’s analysis but right now the important thing is to understand that this is not enough for Dazai.

He /needs/ a bigger purpose, a better answer, something objective and logical, something that can’t be debated. Because if it’s not, then Dazai’s genius mind will pick on that and he will once again be drown in desperation. Dazai needs an absolute answer.

Enter oda, the catalyst of Dazai’s next biggest arc as a character. But first let’s understand sixteen year old Dazai’s perspective of live, shall we?

“- you said it is foolish to die, right? So here is my question. If dying is foolish, then why do we have to die?

(…)

-So, you mean life is not something to regret?

-No, it is worse than that. Even though we are all promised death, from the beginning, all human beings were born with a present desire called “I don’t want to die”. This is also one hundred percent true. That is why, that desire will never be fulfilled”- The day I picked up Dazai Osamu, transplanted by poppypretty

So, to summarize Dazai can’t understand what’s the point in living if by the end there’s no real point in it. There’s nothing there, there’s not a reason to suffer so much because that’s what he is doing. He is suffering. He is all alone, feeling like an alien in a world of humans, just using a mask and trying to hide how really inhuman and empty he is behind all of that and for what? The world is senseless. Worse than that, there are not a lot of things he cares about but when he finds something worth preserving, he loses it. Dazai is in a horrible situation because his intelligence alienates him and isolates him from other people but it’s not enough to win against the senseless of life. He lives at edge, trying to predict and control everything to protect himself and the things important to him, he purposefully goes along with the alienation and isolates himself more thus going farther from his humanity, and at the end is worthless. Because it doesn’t matter how intelligent he is, is still not enough, he will never be able to control everything, he will never be able to predict everything with 100% of accuracy because life doesn’t work in that way, is all about chaos. And Dazai can’t deal with that.

Time passes, by eighteen years old, Dazai in a lot of ways gets worse. He is the “Demon prodigy” destructive, cruel, a master in torture and his mental state continues to get worse and worse but funnily enough he is still standing and that’s thanks to two things:

1) the hope he found at fifteen and never let him. Yes, Dazai goes back to wanting to die because life sometimes becomes unbearable but his goal is still to find a reason to live. And that didn’t changed.

2) his friends. Odasaku, Ango and Lupin bar are important things for Dazai. He is still lonely but it’s a little better

Then everything goes to shit.

But I want you to understand this. After Oda decides to die, Dazai tries to stop him and this is what he says:

“-Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something…Hey Odasaku, do you know why I joined the mafia? (…) I joined the mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence-close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…I would be able to find something-a reason to live”- Dazai Osamu, Dark era.

This is frankly tragic, because just as I said in previous analysis. Dazai’s worse trait, the real cause of all his suffering is his complete lack of self awareness. His main problem is not his lack of understanding of life, is the lack of understanding of himself. He thinks that understanding human at their most basic, desperate state will make him understand better humankind and that ultimately will make him closer to his humanity. But that’s not how it works. He can’t just watch from afar and expect that to be enough. Dazai needs to connect with himself, even the worse parts of himself, even the parts he doesn’t want to see instead of covering them up, he needs to let himself bond with other people, he needs to connect with his own emotions and desires. He needs to leave his overly complex ideas behind, to go down from the high horse he is in, to stop with the omniscient being act that aggravate his isolation and alienation, the things that ultimately make him perceive himself as something inhuman. He needs to accept that at the end of the day he is just human, just like the rest of the world and he is just as powerless as them.

Now let’s go to arguably Dazai’s most important scene as a character: Odasaku’s death

People love to make this scene about soukoku and it’s fucking ridiculous.

People will take this scene and put it as evidence for the “Chuuya’s always the second choice” theory that they came up with (even if the whole theory is fucking ) but specifically this? Dazai leaving the mafia? Has nothing to do with chuuya. It’s part of his /individual/ character development and exactly what it should be.

Let’s start analyzing it

Dazai arrives and Oda is dying, he is desperate to save him even when he know is too late and the Odasaku says something. And this, this guys is what ultimately leads to Dazai’s character growth.

“-you told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live (…) you won’t find it-Odasaku said in an almost whisper. Dazai stared at him- You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity”

“ That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined- right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had known him so well. For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted from the bottom oh his heart to know something. He asked the man before him:

-Odasaku, What should I do-“- Odasaku and Dazai osamu, Dark era

This is the most important scene for Dazai. He has always been lonely, he has always lived with the knowledge that it doesn’t matter how much he tries, no one will ever able to understand him but then just minutes before oda’s death he realizes he was wrong. To say that he left the mafia for oda is as inexact as saying that he decided to live for chuuya. It’s simply not true. He was heavily influenced by both of them but at the end of the day it was for himself.

“People live to save themselves”

I’ve say it before but this sentence is the core of bsd. If you want to analyze a character in this series, not matter who, you need to start by this quote. Dazai is not the exception to it.

He joined the mafia trying to find his own salvation, to get closer to his humanity, to find his reason for living, to find answers and he left because he realized it was useless. He always knew in a way, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave because this was his only chance, the mafia was his only hope, was the only thing he was clinging to. Even in his worst moments, Dazai still clung to the idea that he would find what he was looking for. But then, while dying oda talks to him and he realizes that there was someone who understood. Someone who knew about his pain, someone who understood his desperation, someone who looked through the mask and realized how utterly broken he was. And thing is, he failed, he tried the logical option and he found nothing but then maybe oda, oda who knows him best, oda who probably understands him better that he understand himself can tell him what to do. That’s why Dazai is so desperate in this scene, asking what to do. Because this is a new chance, there’s new hope. What Oda said might sound horrible but it was exactly what Dazai needed to hear and is the reason I was wrong.

Dazai doesn’t read as a character who went from wanting to die to wanting to find a reason to live.

Because to begin with, what Dazai was looking for was completely unreachable because it doesn’t exist. He can be looking for a reason to live all his life and he won’t find it because there’s not an absolute answer. There is not a bigger motive. The world really is senseless, that’s how it is. And Dazai needed to understand that. That’s why oda tells him to forget all about that silly hope. Because is useless.

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful”- Oda Sakunosuke, dark era.

But that doesn’t mean than living is worthless

And this is how we come to Dazai’s real change as character. Dazai goes from nihilism, to a failed attempt of existentialism to absurdism.

Absurdism is the philosophical theory that existence in general is absurd, meaning that the world lacks meaning or a higher purpose. It also refers to the discrepancy between two things such as: the conflict as a colission between a rational man in an irrational world. In simple words, absurdism refers to the struggle of the man to find sense in a senseless world and we can see the mental impact of this struggle in the form of existential crises (yes, just like Dazai) Okay so I swear this made perfect sense in my own language, I’m gonna try as best as I can to explain it in English. Absurdism is different from existentialism because it doesn’t think that you can find a sense in the world, it really defends that not matter what you do, you will never find anything, that it doesn’t matter what you cling to in the great scheme of things it still means nothing, and in a way this need to find a sense in life will lead to more chaos BUT it also defends that you have to keep living despite that, maybe out of pure spite of it. Things doesn’t need to make sense to be worthy.

Absurdism says that there are three options to deal with this problem

Suicide: the pure desperation of trying to reach something that doesn’t exist will lead to the rejection of life. But this is not the correct answer (Cough, young Dazai, cough)

Religion: trying to cope, clinging to the idea that there’s a higher purpose. (Cough, Fyodor, Cough)

Rebellion against the absurd: which is the right answer, the individual needs to learn to accept the absurdity of the world and of his own existence but keep opposing to it. Which means, that the individual keeps living clinging to little things that may not have sense, but that are still worthy and valuable. In even simpler terms, absurdism says “do what you have to do to stop from killing yourself, not matter how stupid that thing is”

Cadmus explained it even better using this example:

You all know about Sisyphus, right? If not is basically this man that was punished by the gods. The punishment consisted of rolling a massive rock up a hill, but it doesn’t matter how hard he tried, at the end of the day, once the rock reached the top it would roll down again. So it was a completely senseless punishment. Not matter how Sisyphus tried he could never win against the absurdity of it. And this also happens with human lives, we do meaningless things all the time, knowing that at the end we will die. Not matter what we do, if we end up as vagabonds or if we find the cure against cancer, the result is still the same, we will all die, so everything we do in life is pointless. BUT Cadmus said that you still can’t give up. Because at the end, sisyphus needs to stop caring about something that he can’t change, the result will always be the same but the important thing is the instant of happiness when he comes close to finishing his job. The moment when the rock reaches the top? seconds before it rolls down, that satisfaction? Is what life is really about. And that’s exactly what Dazai is trying to do right now.

He won’t find sense in life, but being in the ADA is a little more beautiful and that alone is reason enough to be there. Maybe he is not a good person, maybe he doesn’t understand morals but he is with people he has come to appreciate in a better environment doing something that he enjoys more and that’s enough.

There’s this omake in bsd that shows a conversation between Atsushi and Dazai. And Atsushi asks Dazai, why he is in the ADA because someone as intelligent as Dazai can surely find a job with better pay, and Dazai looks at him and tell him that it’s true, but he is fine where he is because he likes to use his brain to help people. That guys, is absurdism right there, Dazai acknowledges that it may not makes sense but he likes what he does and that’s enough.

This change has been gradual and Dazai still struggles with it. He still has problems with the idea of letting things go, he still is a manipulative bastard and that will never change, because at this point is just a part of his personality, he still is trying to control everything but at the same time he also is ready to accept that sometime you just don’t have the answers and that’s part of humanity. This is one of my favorite panels on earth:

Dazai is trying to convince kyouka of living, to choose to do something different from the things she’s good at, if that what makes her happy. This is one of the few scenes Dazai accepts that he is not omniscient, that there are no answers for all the questions, and that we are all a little lost because of it. This is also the first time Dazai is not in desperation while saying it. His growth is not about becoming a good person, he still does horrible things, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t changed. To accept that life is senseless but it still is worthy, to accept that he can’t control everything but the possibilities of it are not necessarily something to be afraid but opportunities? /That’s/ his character growth

This whole arc is a masterpiece because it highlights Dazai’s growth. He is against Fyodor, who in a lot of ways is just like him but at their core they are completely different.

This hands down is my favorite Dazai’s panel because is all about his growth. Because he can see what Fyodor doesn’t. Fyodor see himself as a god, Dazai doesn’t because he knows that it doesn’t matter if they are pulling the strings, they are still isolated and alienated from everything, the people that really is moving the world is the one out there, the people that jumps even when they don’t know if they will be caught. The people that don’t know half of what they know but still are able to move in the middle of the uncertainty. And that’s something that neither Fyodor nor Dazai are able to do. But Dazai is no longer in pain because of that, he now understands the problem and is trying his best to overcome it. Dazai stopped resenting the world for being senseless and illogical and is learning to accept it and just adapt as best as he can to it. To give everything for the people he cares about even when there’s no guarantee that it will end well, but Dazai is trying and that’s what matters.

I really wish I had the time to make a better analysis but I don’t. Even then, I wanted to share my pure love and admiration to this character. Dazai is so beautifully written and by far the most complex character in this whole story, all of his development as a character is simply fascinating and the way Asagiri is writing him right now has me screaming and running in circles.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai bsd #dazai osamu #soukoku #skk #dazai analysis #bsd spoilers #this is annoyingly long

[theeggoman]

I am genuinely scared that once AI starts officially and somehow legally stealing art from artists on Twitter to feed into Elon Musk's AI company that there will be no more spaces for LGBT people to exist online. I'm talking about NSFW art, NSFW writing, discussions about kink and BDSM and leather, advice about transitioning and surgery and STD testing, resources for homeless LGBT youth, comics and animations and stories about queer love. The internet loves to hate gay sex. They demonize us, humiliate us, infantilize our bodily autonomy and choice and the moment you bring up anything relating to your own sexual experiences you're now a target for ridicule and shame. We are not profitable. We are not family friendly. We are "inappropriate" for normal people, and across every single social media platform we are banned. Our discussions about the basic human experience of sex expressed in ANY WAY are eventually banned. Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Youtube, Tik Tok, Deviant art, the restrictions and requirements and borderline threats from Patreon. As much as we've all hated it, Twitter has been a final stand. It's a place for furry art and gay porn and weird kinky fanfiction and BDSM. There's a community of people who exist together online and nowhere else. And people don't care that we're losing it, yet again, because they want people to like us. They want people to approve of us, to accept us. They want to be palatable for a straight audience, for a heterosexual society that has only barely begun to tolerate us out of necessity and the turn of deemed popular opinion. It's the internet mob mentality that crucified trans youth as "transtrenders" out of fear that they themselves would be targeted next. It's the accusations against drag queens being inappropriate for children. It's the LGB without the T because they fear they will be next. If they could just package us into something respectable, maybe the rest of the world wouldn't hate them so much, right? Get rid of the "bad" gays and suddenly our parents will love us again. Show them they're wrong, we're not pedophiles and rapists and groomers like they've been accusing us of being for centuries, we're NORMAL and GOOD and PURE, we like Heartstopper, not Yaoi! We don't fetishize gay men, we don't sexualize our trauma! We don't even LIKE sex! See, we think sex is immoral and shameful and wrong just like you. Will you love us now?

The truth is they will never love us. They will never want us. They will never accept us. The more we fight for our rights, they more they will try to take them way. The more we fight amongst ourselves, the more they will try to divide us.

I probably sound insane talking about niche queer Fandom spaces like some kind of gay revolution, but the ability to be unapologetically gay and trans and gross and weird and find a community of people you can be with who are all like you, who are working through that trauma together, who you meet online and fly out to visit in real life, who you love: It matters. It matters so much that they keep trying to take it away from us. I don't really know what the future holds here, I'm just rambling my anger onto the only platform that actuslly gives a shit about the artists on it. I just want the young people in the community to understand that this IS a community. And it matters.

#trigger warning #tw #pedophillia mention #rape mention #just let gay people exsist??? just let us fucking exsist.

[redphlox]

Toga's grief

Let’s discuss Toga, her use of Twice’s quirk, why she can’t use Dabi and Shigaraki’s quirks, and how this ties into her relationship with Ochako as of chapter 382!

TLDR; The Twice clones aren’t the original Twice because Toga’s quirk doesn’t work like that. Those doubles are Toga’s interpretation of Twice and how he would act. Like the other two main villains, Toga has an identity issue and lack of self-worth. She wants so badly to be accepted that she’s like, “IF I DO EVERYTHING LIKE X PERSON – IF I BECOME THEM - THEN I CAN BE LIKED AND ACCEPTED TOO!” This sentiment doesn’t stem from envy or any other negative emotion – it comes from genuine admiration and a sense of endearment. She wants to be Ochako’s friend, and she loved Twice because they accepted each other unconditionally. This is why she is able to use their quirks – Toga can relate deeply to them, can understand them, and literally sees herself in them. This is also why she can’t use Dabi and Shigarakiaraki’s quirks. While she cares about them, she doesn’t understand them, their motivations, their feelings, their true selves, etc. The realization that she can't quite use Twice's quirk the way he did is making her spiral into grief even more.

More detailed under the cut~

Toga’s quirk allows her to physically transform into someone temporarily when she drinks their blood. This is limited to only a visual change – think of her quirk like wearing a highly believable costume or suit, a mask. She doesn’t have access to that person’s memories, thoughts, or feelings during this transformation. She’s only changing her appearance to become a mirror of that subject, an exact physical replica. This is why Toga was barely able to fool the Shiketsu students and teachers during her stint as Camie during the licensing exam arc. The people who were familiar with Camie sensed something was off, and that’s because drinking Camie’s blood didn’t enable Toga to mimic Camie’s mindset or personality. Transforming into Camie was purely on the outside, not the inside.

Toga discovered she could also use someone’s quirk IF she loves them during the MVA arc. This scene of Toga transforming into Ochako during the Deika city raid was borne from a "I want to escape my unbearable reality and pretend to be someone else, someone I admire and love, because I can’t stand my life right now. I want to be someone else!" and bam, she unlocked that aspect of her quirk. Love can be interpreted in diverse ways, but for Toga, she interprets it as admiration, connection, and endearment. She admires people who aren’t like her because she has internalized society’s scoldings and criticisms: she’s a freak, a weirdo, an unnatural girl, etc. In Toga’s eyes, everyone has it better than her, and she wishes she could be more like them… she wishes she COULD be them because she wants to be accepted and free, too. She doesn’t want to be herself because that’s lonely and no one accepts her. 

But…. revering people to this extent is a problem because Toga tends to put people who are unapologetically themselves and still likeable on a pedestal. See: her admiration of Stain for inspiring disenfranchised people and becoming a symbol of not submitting to the status quo, and Deku the heroic underdog who never gives up despite not being accepted by society either. The person she doesn’t put on a pedestal - Ochako - is purely because Ochako has the same flaws she has but on the extreme opposite. Toga excessively indulges in her feelings, and Ochako suffocates and buries them. Naturally, Toga immediately wants to befriend Ochako because she sees herself in he - thinks they can relate and bond - but Ochako refuses and denies any similarities to and humanity in Toga. 

This is why it hurt profoundly when Ochako didn’t answer the question "are you going to kill me too" the way Toga wanted after Twice was killed. The problem is this disconnect between Ochako’s ideal self (professional, not tied down by feelings) versus her true self (full of feelings, mushy). Once Ochako overcomes that block, she can save Toga…. or probably the other way. Once she saves Toga and accepts her unconditionally, she can overcome her own problems regarding her feelings. Ochako will see what Toga saw in them all along: similarities that include expressing love and showing up as their authentic selves.

Now, let’s talk about how Toga uses Twice’s quirk. Twice can make doubles of people if he has their current measurements. Just like Toga’s quirk, this is a superficial, physical-only manifestation of said person. The Dabis and Shigarakis he created during MVA aren’t down-to-the-neuron duplicates of their real counterparts. They don’t have access to the original person’s memories, feelings, etc. The copies act like a ghost of Twice’s perception of their originals. The clones sound and behave like Shigaraki and Dabi because Twice projected his perceptions of them onto his copies. He made them in their likeness. This is why his quirk works better the more he knows about them, and why he is an expert at making clones of himself - who else knows himself better than… himself? 

So, these copies aren’t actually Dabi and Shigaraki, just like Twice’s doubles aren’t Twice himself. Just like Toga’s Twice doubles aren’t the original Twice.

This brings us back to 382. Basically, what’s happening is that Toga is able to use the full extent of her quirk (transformation + quirk) and physically transform into a body that looks just like Twice, but she ISN’T Twice. He’s dead. Toga still doesn’t BECOME that person mentally, spiritually, or in any other capacity aside from superficially. The clones she’s making using his quirk aren’t him, just like Twice’s clones weren’t the real Twice. These clones are acting how she imagines Twice would behave, his mannerisms, etc. And his quirk isn’t working exactly like he used it because that’s it - she’s NOT Twice. He’s dead. It hits harder in the original Japanese because the word “quirk” can also be read as “individuality”.

Currently, Toga is using his quirk as a way to grieve and desperately hold on to him. To bring him back. According to her rationale, he’s not dead because she's using his quirk, duh. And a quirk is unique to everyone, so if the quirk lives on, so does he…But she's even more devastated right now and spiraling even worse because the quirk isn't working exactly how Twice used it. It’s hitting her with full force that Twice is gone. If Twice was here he could use his own quirk, no problem. But because he's not and she's using his quirk and she's NOT him it's not working. 

Twice is dead and Toga can’t deal.

This is why it’s devastating that she can’t use Shigaraki and Dabi’s quirks. She can’t use Twice’s quirk because only he could use it, because it was HIS. It’s like a car that only responds to its owner and won’t run for anyone else even if someone used the correct keys and looked exactly like the owner. Toga can use his quirk because Twice was someone she understood and who understood her, and on top of that she cares about Shigarki and Touya in the way you do when you see someone every day and grow accustomed to their presence and want the best for them, but she doesn’t understand them. How can she? Shigaraki is an unreliable, brainwashed narrator and Touya was secretive and burning alive silently before his reveal and now he’s cremating himself loudly and doesn’t want help. 

Toga is an emotional mess right now. In 341 she looked hesitant and regretful to continue on in their villainous ways when Dabi questioned her, and it looks like she’s finally cracking under the pressure of going down a road she doesn’t want while grieving a huge loss.

#bnha #bnha spoilers #bnha manga #bnha 382 #bnha meta #my meta #bnha twice #jin bubaigawara #toga #himiko toga

[highfantasy-soul]

NATLA Episode 5 - Spirited Away (2/3)

[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]

An explanation of what I'm doing here and my history with ATLA.

Of course, full spoilers ahead.

<previous/next>

Combining Zuko chasing Aang in part 2 of the winter solstice with Bato of the Water Tribe and The Blue Spirit was a good move: in only 8 episodes, too many near-misses for him catching Aang could get redundant, so getting June to track him to Roku's temple was a great merging of those lines. While I miss Zuko holding onto Katara's necklace, since Katara didn’t make it to the Avatar temple, it's an ok change for me. It's a convenient way to merge in The Blue Spirit and have Katara and Sokka MIA without them just randomly being sick - they're actually trapped in the spirit world, so their plot is still relevant rather than the 'we're doing nothing but dying of thirst' plot they got in The Blue Spirit episode. Honestly think the way the live-action puts Sokka and Katara on their own journeys during big plot arcs that focus on Aang was really really good. First with the Omashu (animated) episode where they got stuff to do in Into the Dark (live-action) and now here with the Blue Spirit storyline.

I could watch Zuko being horrendously awkward trying to get info in the covert and not screaming orders way for like, 6 episodes. That whole tavern scene was just so freaking hilarious with all the mentions of the side quests from pirates to canyon guides to stopping the volcano! It really felt pulled right from the animated show - paying homage but seeding the themes from those episodes into other part of this live-action story!! Love June's introduction - and I'm so happy they got rid of the weird Iroh and her stuff and just had her compliment him to throw the pair off balance.

So I guess I should address some of the issues people had with June's characterization: I don't think her telling Iroh he was cute (like with Suki and Sokka) was her suddenly simping for an older man and genuinely pursuing him. That is not how people flirt. Take Sokka and Suki - is that how they flirted? Sokka and Yue? Katara and Jet? Aang and Katara in the animated show? Mai and Zuko in the animated show? You know who did flirt like that in the animated show? Tylee with Sokka when they were fighting - only ever when they were fighting. Was that her actually wanting to have a relationship with Sokka - throw out all her own wants to just get with a man? No. It was a way to gain the upper hand in a fight and throw your opponent off balance. With Tylee, she's already a bubbly, cheerful, open person, so we can read that flirtation as flippant and thrown out there because she's confident and not concerned with putting a filter on. With June, she's also confident, but she also is a beautiful young woman bounty hunter who is in a (assumedly) predominantly male field and has to deal with a great deal of strong and dangerous men.

Being incredibly forward with an individual who wouldn't expect to be flirted with is a power move. It's a way for her to assert dominance immediately in the situation - to take the lead and knock them off balance before one of the two men makes an unwanted pass at her. I didn't read her flirtation with Iroh as genuine, or at least, not as her just getting all hot and bothered and rolling over for the pair based purely on the fact that she was attracted to Iroh. She probably is great at reading people and saw that Iroh was marginally decent, so would agree to work with them, but she still wanted the upper hand and control in the situation - she wanted to clearly define her role as someone who was choosing to let them employ her not as a servant to do their bidding. She placed herself firmly above them - there would be no subservience from her. This is also not making June a bad character - it's making her a strong character (strong as in she believes what she believes and is unapologetic about it) it's not 'flipping misogyny into misandry' or whatever, it's showing June has agency. Like with Suki, the live-action gave June an actual character instead of her just being a cardboard cut-out of a Dragon Lady.

Having the lesson being learned in the town be that Zuko needs to stop thinking so rigidly - be prepared to take the unexpected route - was a great story beat to introduce with June. Instead of the plot being straight forward of Zuko sees June = Zuko gets her to track the Avatar and switching it to Zuko being annoyed and insulted that she's a bounty hunter (just as he was insulted that fire nation operatives would fight behind masks and doesn't think his father would approve) and then having to be convinced by Iroh to learn new ways of doing things was a great character building addition.

It's funny to me when people complain 'Zuko didn't say honor ONCE!' when every single action Zuko did - every opinion he voiced - SCREAMED about his honor. What was that again about the live-action telling not showing, not trusting the audience to understand character motivations, and being flat in its characterizations? This very internal integrity - honor - that he has is what's leading him to uphold Fire Nation values and rules so strictly, but it's also the very core honor of his being that will help him turn against his father in the end. It's consistent characterization that's just so wonderful to play with - their core remains the same, but how they interpret it once they have more info changes. And I'm not just saying that because those are my favorite characters to play in DnD! This is a totally objective and unbiased analysis! I swear!

I really loved all the additions with Azula in this season. It really rounds out her character and we see WHY she's as driven as she is in season 2. Seeing her need for perfection, her needing to go above and beyond to do better, and the hint of her blue flame was great. Just like the animated series explores at the end of season 3, no one starts out a 'monster' - they're taught to be that way. I never liked the reduction a lot of the fandom did with Azula and Zuko where Zuko was the one 'born good' and 'like his good mother' while Azula was just 'born bad' because she was the one 'like her father'. People aren't so simple as just being 'born bad'. In the animated series, Azula gets 'humanized' at the very end of the series, but I think showing her striving for the approval of her father - that vulnerability - makes seeing where it takes her in her brutality that much more horrific. We see that she doesn't HAVE to be this way (same with Zuko), but she was pushed to it due to her upbringing - the same as with Ozai and Iroh before Iroh had his loss and change of heart.

I saw some complaints that the spirit world was too bright and cheery here - and uh, I don’t see it? It's super grayed out, misty, creepy af, and ominous. The ONLY time it's colorful and cheery is in Gyatzo's little hut which… yeah, he created that little bubble of happiness - the rest is very in line with its depiction in the animated series.  Obviously sans the giant wolf, but basically it's the same vibe - creepy, ominous, and a perturbed spirit warning them away.

In the animated series, Sokka wants to go out and physically fight Hei Bai and Katara has 100% faith that Aang will figure it out. When Aang is thrown back by the spirit, Sokka runs out to help him fight - something that he mirrors in the live-action as it goes after Katara and he draws its attention over to him. Due to them weaving several of Aang's plotlines together in this episode(s), Hei Bai doesn't get as much time to be the main antagonist which I think is a shame, but with them giving more development to Katara and Sokka during this episode, I think it's ok. If I had to choose between more angry spirit destroying a village and seeing the root of Katara and Sokka's character trauma, I'll choose the character trauma every time. I always did think it was a shame that Sokka spent a bunch of time in the spirit realm and we never got to see/hear anything at all about it - there's a lot to delve into there that the animated show just skipped over.

Love love love Yue in the spirit world as a three-tailed fox! And how she explains Hei Bai's pain - foreshadowing the pain of the ocean spirit after it loses the moon spirit - her small bit of dialogue really sets up a lot with Sokka's growth, the state of the world, and the pain of the spirits (and humans reacting when they go through painful things). So cool that the showrunners used this foray into the spirit world and the fog to do a rendition of The Swamp from season 2 - even down to Sokka seeing Yue! Yeah, it happens differently, but the swamp showed each of our protagonists things in their past - and Aang one of his future (though in this episode it GAVE Aang his future). Very well done, in my opinion.

#natla #avatar the last airbender #netflix avatar #natla positivity

[meatriarch]

overview cont. i guess lmao. no one asked but its been something in the back of my mind for a while now & i got an anon tonight telling me i come off intimidating and i feel the need to just. make note of some things so that hopefully if anyone feels a certain way with how i run this blog then like. know and understand both my side as well as that my dms / disc is open for anyone to pop into -- just obv depends on the headspace at the time.

i know this is long & am sorry if it doesnt make sense but. just setting it gently out there.

but, again, my disc ( same as my url ) is open for any mutual. its open to shoot the shit. open for plotting. open for memes. what have you. i may not always get to every message. i may not be in the headspace for certain things or certain energies. but its open for anyone as long as we are mutuals & if handles are different between here & disc then i just get a heads-up abt who you are so i know lmao

likewise, i am fairly fucking slow writing-wise and alot of that is because of offsite issues chipping into me but also because most, if not all, of the things i DO have in the inbox or drafts are from my affiliates at this time ( tho i do have some more from the archive i need to move over from a couple people ). alot of my spoons and drive to write and post is because of the dynamics and plotting built between our muses. im not a blog centered on plotting but, it does help to have a better idea on how to navigate between muses c: esp for those technically outside of my kiddos' texas canon obviously. that being said, anyone is welcome to like any inbox calls i put out there. and my inbox is always open and accepting, even if i havent reblogged prompts in a while -- i have my tag linked on my pinned and its available always & for whomever. it just comes with the understanding that i may take a while to respond to them & they may not get as expansive as some of my posts can get with my affiliates; which again, is just simply from how much we've been building together that helps with that!

on that note. my connections with my texas pals are very dear to me. both ic & ooc. as i noted in my overview post, i talk about the dynamics we've built openly and freely here because theyre so integral to my portrayals. they & their kiddos have my entire heart and i unapologetically love having fun with them and going on tangents with them and bouncing thoughts off of each others posts on the dash.

my experiences in other corners of tumby rp have not been particularly kind. and its been a long time since ive felt comfortable especially ooc with writing partners. and i understand if i may come across closed off or intimidating or unapproachable. i understand if i also come across partial to them / play favorites because frankly... i am. i do. thats because they've built bonds not just between characters but also with me. ill be very transparent and say that i am very particular in who i get close with and that translates into here too. but thats also just something that easily can also happen with literally anyone. again i do understand if i come across closed off in any sense but genuinely? im not scary and i have options open for continuing to grow more connections with people c: theyre open always. what im not going to do, however, purely out of personal experience is chase after interactions. the last fandoms i wrote in i did so and it wore me down into my last hiatus. i will show equal enthusiasm to whats given. but i wont fish for it, either. its just not my cup of tea.

i like to think im fairly patient and understanding in a lot, probably moreso than i should in some cases -- sincerely though if theres issues know that im fine with it being brought up. but im also not going to be welcoming nor tolerate my boundaries being disregarded or disrespected, im already dealing with that with an offsite friend. not dealing with it here. i do not like feeling so uncomfortable existing on my own blog or in my own disc. and i get that already with my personal disc & this offsite friend in particular. im not dealing with it here too.

which on that note, i also wont be receptive with issues regarding what i post, what i talk about, who i write with, who i choose as affiliates or mains or w/e. my blog & my dash are my safe & comfort zones and these muses often help me alot with navigating when my headspace is at a fucked up level. if any of that is a concern yes youre welcome to come to me and talk it over but end of the day? my comfort & mental state is a priority to me. if thats ever an issue i truly would just recommend you do what you feel is best for you. everyone existing on this hell-plane are entitled on curating their space in whatever manner they see fit.

again. i promise im not scary. im not an ass. but i do curate my space to be in my best interest and at my age & experience across the 10+ yrs ive been rping on and off here, ive seen alot, heard alot, experienced alot. i do apologize however if i do come across unapproachable or intimidating. i do apologize if i seem closed off to only a select few. i dont mind if you follow / we're mutuals solely just to keep up with what i write! thats completely okay too and i thank those who are <3 but if i seem unapproachable i literally just gently gesture again to my disc or prompts tag etc! i welcome any to get to know myself or my muses. regardless of how much time has passed since following one another. just again, comes with the understanding that my social battery & headspace often does work against me. and thats not personal against anyone, ever.

#[ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦. ] ── * psa. #im hoping this all reads fine and w/e cause im fist-fighting with a headache rn but. #just to hopefully idk. make a few things known? i guess? transparency a bit? again i promise im not a scary person lol but i am just. #careful with alot of avenues. and i get this post is also fairly rigid in tone most of the way but im. pretty tuckered out by alot #and being known as like... intimidating is something i have personal issues with re: old friends offsite. so. trying to state what i mean #as direct hopefully as possible.

[fountainpenguin]

So I'm genuinely curious over how Leonard is one of your favorite characters in the series. In both Pahkitew and RR, he was around for only one episode with his shtick being that he took larpring so seriously that he legit thought they he was a wizard with that mentality being the reason why he was the first to be eliminated in both series.

Yes, and he SOLD IT. I'm a fanfic writer and I'll always fall for the characters who are legitimately fun to write. I would make him a main character in a story any day (and have, and they're some of my faves). I actually use Leonard as my base inspiration for several characters even in my current fanfics because he is THAT strong of a character (to me).

He's a shameless, charismatic sweetheart of a team leader who will grab fast food with you, spill all his secrets, and give you the world unless you mildly inconvenience him, and then he'll instantly swivel to "Wow, I literally do not respect anything about you :)" and I'm in love with it.

Also I'm just gonna say it: I will ALWAYS go for the character who wants to summon a dragon to destroy everyone who's ever wronged him. Leonard is SO conflict avoidant but also he's down for everyone who's ever been mildly rude to him to suffer a horrific death. Do not excuse him from his crimes; we all saw him make multiple attempts to commit murder. Smh.

This is the same guy who throws confetti when he's excited. The duality of man. He WILL dance on your grave.

This is Leonard's actual audition tape. This is what he submitted to the producers. It's him complaining about how someone stole his unicycle. Why did he submit this? Why is he like this? Love him.

(Cnt'd Leonard ramblings under the cut. You will regret this.)

It's the way he chuckles at his friend and takes a moment to clarify that no, he's not made of paper. Like. If his friend asked him to come over and then the follow-up question was "Are you made of paper?" then you know this is someone in Leonard's friend group and you know he was 100% willing to whip out his unicycle and go to his friend's house in his full LARPing gear. He has no fear of judgment, no shame, and he must have incredible balance and I just think that's fun. This boy lives for himself. I love characters who are unapologetically all-in with what they love and who they are.

It's the way he says "I'm making a video" as if he's just... doing something unimportant. WHY did he submit this? He's already set up as this character who brushes off the professional side of the competition in favor of doing whatever the heck he wants, and that's hilarious. The amount of confidence he oozes every time he's onscreen is just... palpable. We know he was canonically bullied in school, but man oh man, that clearly does not stop him. He fears nothing and I fear him.

Most of the characters let Chris push them around because they'll do whatever it takes to move to the next episode and try to win a million dollars. Leonard is ONLY here to play and make friends. He made the active choice to be stubborn and throw away his chance at the money because if he couldn't play the game his way (in character) then he didn't want to play at all. And that is so interesting.

Look at his bedroom. Look at how into this aesthetic he is. He's heating a cauldron on an electric burner. He's got candles. He's got scrolls and a crystal ball. He's got so many books. He LOVES what he does and he's unapologetic for it. He's so authentic and pure and good and I love him for it.

Leonard runs around in his full-on robes, his fake beard, and... converse shoes. He's committed to the outfit in so many ways but he needs comfy shoes to be happy and I respect that.

Look how cute he is... his body language is just. fun. Just stands there all smiles while his girlfriend throws confetti. Having a fantastic day.

Then that next scene where Tammy keeps throwing confetti on him and he just stands there with his eyes pinched shut and he's trying not to hurt her feelings is... super cute.

Leonard brings a "Let's have a good attitude and be loyal and friendly" vibe to the team that Dave specifically cannot stand. Every single other person on that team liked Leonard. Dave is just mean.

Leonard's first interaction with Dave was walking up to him and trying to cleanse him of evil, which is so funny to me. Dave is "the normal guy," Max was sitting right next to him and just gave his spiel about how evil he was, and Leonard took one look at Dave, who was sitting there and doing nothing, and said "No, THIS is the one who needs cleansing." Absolutely savage (and he was right).

His parachute failed. Everyone else is screaming. Leonard shows no fear. Tries to save himself with magic. He has a whole spell book. Went straight for the wing spell. Still falling to his doom. Just chilling. His commitment to the bit is unparalleled and I love him.

Leonard's super compassionate, I think... Threw himself in front of Dave and ordered him to crawl to safety, then grabbed a weapon and readied himself to face his enemies. Leonard is way more dramatic than he needs to be, but you can tell he's super loyal because he's willing to put himself in the line of fire for others. For no reason.

We know Leonard watched the OG Total Drama series, because he grabs a pipe, whips it above his head, and tells Chef to "go back to the shadows of Wawanakwa." Sure, we can assume most of the contestants watched the previous series before they auditioned, but I appreciate it for Leonard specifically because he really looked at this show and said "Yes, this is a smart place for me to go LARPing." Considering how he threw in the towel in episode 2, refusing to break character, I think he watched the previous episodes and thought he would meet like-minded nerds rather than compete for money. He wanted to make friends :(

Leonard gets a bad rap for being bullied and unlikable, but like... he's SO charismatic. He's a natural leader who speaks up when he has ideas. Sugar, Ella, and Beardo are all over him immediately. Sky turns to him and asks him to take charge and when Leonard suggests linking arms and chanting in order to build a tower, Sky and Shawn are among those who cheer. Episode 1 Leonard was everybody's sweetheart <3

Leonard's not "the weird kid nobody likes." He's the flippin' team leader. And he did exactly what he promised to do, which was lead the team to build a wizard's tower (It's not his fault he didn't expect a moose stampede to knock it down).

Dave is a GROUCH in episode 1 and straight-up mocked the tower in front of Leonard, and Leonard is still all smiles and love and hugs. You can NOT fight Leonard's commitment to purity and sweetness. You will lose. I love him so much.

Leonard is SO silly. He keeps getting in so many risky situations and walking away unscathed, and every single time he's like, "Yeah, I was fine because I'm awesome." I just think he's fun.

Leonard is just so ??? /gestures. He climbs on rocks and stands on them. Just because he can. He just kinda... touches things. And plays. Loves telling stories. Loves having fun.

It's the way that all his teammates are complaining about how they had to sleep on rocks last night, and Leonard rolls his eyes with a massive smirk on his face and says "Pfft. I levitated all night." Like. Why is he committing to this? He makes me laugh.

[It's the same subtle sass he flings around in R-Race when he has no trouble riding his camel and others are struggling. It's so uncalled for. He's just sassy sometimes.]

It's the way that Ella confuses even Leonard. Why is Leonard SO into his LARPing characterization but he still just... stares at Ella like he doesn't "get" her? He does this multiple times. They are not on the same wavelength. They do not vibe. It's SO funny to me because you would expect those two to adore each other, but... Ella likes being his cheerleader and Leonard's just kinda... not into it.

It's the way Leonard gets flattered when Sugar compliments him and then glares at Dave when Dave comes out swinging with his unrestrained Leonard hatred. Leonard doesn't get snippy with him. Ever. Even when Dave literally screams in his face that he thinks Leonard is useless. Leonard doesn't bat an EYE. Doesn't flinch. Just stares him down. Leonard never snaps, but always puts up with it... that character type always speaks to me. idk man. There's something about characters who simmer in silence, especially when you know how wild they can be, that always hooks me.

It's the way that Leonard has his little hand symbol that he keeps using over and over. Leonard was MADE to be eliminated early, that's his entire purpose in the show... he IS cannon fodder, but I think it's cute that he still had his own special body language.

It's the way Leonard was so shocked that he was in the bottom two on elimination night. It's the way he curled up, hugging himself and pleading to not be chosen. I just think he's cute. It's the way Leonard, who is SO TALL, gets thrown over Chef's shoulder like a sack of potatoes and Leonard just kinda... wails and stretches his arm back towards the campfire. He's baby.

Listen, I know his final act was attempted murder but he's innocent, your honor. Yes, I know he also tried to commit murder in R-Race but I demand you free my man. He did nothing wrong.

My favorite characters are the ones that are fun to write and/or practically write themselves. You get one taste of Leonard and that's all you need. He ingrains himself in your mind. You can have him do anything you want and you're right. That's the best kind of character when you're writing fanfics.

This one's probably not going to show up well, but here's a screenshot from my 'fic "The Story Where Courtney Takes Feral Zeke to Prom" (dA title; "Precious" on FFN)

He's just. Leonard. He is SO funny. Just delightful.

Leonard can be swayed to do anything as long as it's fun. And he's a charismatic leader who can sway others to play along with him, especially in a post-elimination fanfic. He is bubbly and full of adventurous spirit, and once you put him back in a non-competitive environment where everyone's a little bit bored and looking for ways to stay entertained at the elimination station, there's no doubt in my mind that everyone would love him again.

He's NICE. He's FUN. This kid knows how to research. He knows how to reach out to people. He'll fight for you. He'll throw himself in the line of fire for you. He just wants to play and be your friend. He's a charismatic sweetheart and I like him. You will never write yourself into a corner as long as you have Leonard in the vicinity. He's too big and loud and will fight anything.

I adored Leonard so much already, and then R-Race drops and we find out he has a girlfriend?? And they met when they were stuffed inside the same locker?? And they absolutely adore each other?? His only critique about Tammy is that she throws too much confetti on his head?? Incredible, 10/10. Nowhere else can I get this character. When will I ever be this funny.

Seriously I cannot emphasize enough how much I love the Leonard/Tammy ship. They are SO in tune with each other. They just straight-up arrived to R-Race in full LARP gear sipping sodas. What. Right out of the gate, sets them up as the silly beans they are. You can instantly feel how much better Leonard vibes with Tammy than he did with Ella. Love that for him.

Leonard and Tammy just... love to play. They ran around the airport throwing confetti at people. That is a thing they actually did. Why are they like this. You just know their relationship is so, so good and healthy and they adore each other. When Tammy got eliminated, her first reaction was to cast a time reversal spell, which is the SAME THING Leonard did when he got eliminated in TD. I love them.

Leonard went after the outcasts in his attempts to make alliances. He went for the adversity twins and for Crimson and Ennui. Ugh. I love that. He knew nothing about them except "those are the ones who are going to struggle to have allies." He's so good.

Also, shout out to the R-Race animators for keeping Leonard's special hand gesture exactly the same in R-Race as it was in TD. That's my boy.

And if you're still not swayed, you gotta keep in mind that my niche when these seasons were airing was in writing post-elimination 'fics, told from the POV of the character first eliminated in each cast. Getting to the elimination area early cements you as "the guy who knows what's going on." Beardo was out first and he wasn't a talker, so Leonard slid right in there. Beardo's super introverted... but Leonard? Oh my goodness gracious, if you've never tried writing Leonard then you have no idea how useful to the narrative he is.

I LOVED the dynamic I wrote between those two in Beatin' Path. They instantly fell in as BFFs, because Beardo was super shy but would go along with anything Leonard wanted to do, because Leonard's charisma is off the charts and he is GOOD at making things fun. Leonard was very good at including Beardo in his play. Beardo is so good at being the sound effects hype man. They just... loved it. Had a blast. They were having fun, so I was having fun. That's the best kind of fanfic.

Look at my sons...

Look at them... They're the worst.

I love Leonard. He's so nuts.

So part of the charm IS the fact that he got out early (twice!!) and had an extremely charismatic personality. He only wants to play, so when you put him in a non-competitive environment where he is free to play, then he THRIVES.

I just play him as this super accepting, kindhearted character who wears every emotion on his sleeve. He will tell you all his secrets. Leonard has no shame. Here's one of my favorite scenes from a late chapter I never posted. This is quintessential Leonard vibes to me:

Beardo can be going through the worst possible thing and Leonard is just so charming and charismatic that it's hilarious. I love him.

?? Leonard is Unapologetically Leonard. I am so in love with his... bizarre interactions. I know I'm posting a lot, but I just have so many things I love:

I just ??? love him. He's simultaneously out of touch with reality and living in his dream LARPer world but he'll also grab sodas with you. He's so good.

One of my worldbuilding details in my Total Drama 'fics was that cartoon physics were very real, but I did it in a silly way. Everyone had one specific "gift" that they grew into during puberty (and Cody giving Beth "the Talk" about this was the subject of my one-shot "Of Ants and Cartoon Physics").

Leonard's gift was that he had an inventory and I also wrote him as a kleptomaniac. And it was SO fun. I LOVE Leonard.

Like, I just wrote Leonard picking up random things and putting them in his sleeves. Sometimes he'd just put mice in his shirt and they would go into the void. He was the only character who had an inventory. He ran around with knives. It was lots of fun.

On a side note, the biggest reason why I stopped working on my R-Race elimination story (Lions Under Palm Trees) wasn't lack of time or passion, but... there's an entire arc about Junior hitting puberty and coming into his cartoon physics gift, which was generating extreme amounts of static electricity. I LOVE what I did with it, but I just kept dwelling on my 'fic and getting nervous that I had taken it too far beyond canon and people would be weirded out, especially since I was already making my POV characters two people the fandom had no love for.

Technically the gifts I gave characters match things that happen in canon (ex: Heather's gift was that she has retractable nail-claws, which she actually did in the New York episode of World Tour). Zeke's gift was that he's immune to food poisoning, which iirc was based on his character interview where he explains that he has a strong stomach, combined with the fact that it's implied he's had to live off raw rats in World Tour and possibly other seasons too. So my things were based in canon... I just felt like people would be turned off that there was SO. MUCH. of that kind of stuff in this 'fic. It kind of took over the plot and I just couldn't decide if that was the vibe.

But I'd go back to my Leonard 'fics in a heartbeat if I had the time. There are some NASTY hard-hitting moments in there and I love them so much. Leonard is an angel. I mean he's the worst but I love him. Topher is a menace. Tammy makes bad choices. Ugh. I love it.

I love Leonard...

#Total Drama #td Leonard #Ridonculous Race #total drama fanfic #ridwriting #Beatin Path #Lions Under Palm Trees #screenshots #Precious #The Story Where Courtney Takes Feral Zeke to Prom #Long post #I love him so much...

[pwurrz]

after the experience with the cultists yakumo gets extremely touch adverse. and it’s concerning to quincy, someone who knows yakumo to be very physically affectionate, drawing a lot of comfort from touch. some of his most fond memories with the serpent involve them touching in some way, whether it be cuddling or existing in each other’s space. they’re both very touchy people, quincy shows love through touch, and yakumo is happy to receive it.

at least, he was. now it seems like the opposite is true, and quincy doesn’t understand why.

yakumo wouldn’t tell him under normal circumstances, hating the idea of being a burden more than the idea of suffering alone through whatever was bothering him. but from what quincy heard, the situation yakumo, eiden and olivine experienced was.. extremely dire. he doesn’t know exactly what happened, and he doesn’t want to pry, but it’s not hard to put together that something really bad happened through the broken whimpers and sobs yakumo unknowingly lets out in his sleep.

it makes quincy sad, seeing yakumo in so much pain but not knowing how to comfort him. he felt like he was learning how to handle the serpent’s teary outbursts, but now he’s gone back to square one. yakumo is hurting, but he doesn’t know what to do.

but it also makes him unspeakably angry. yakumo is so.. pure. so sweet. treats everyone around him with so much kindness despite not always receiving that kindness back. he cares so much for the people and animals and world around him. he tries his best to be a good, helpful person, not because he wants to be praised and rewarded, but because that’s genuinely what he wants to do. in the months quincy has gotten to know yakumo, he’s learned that yakumo is an unapologetically good person. and quincy’s lived a long time, he doesn’t see many of those very often.

and despite that, some.. people want to hurt yakumo. they want to take advantage of him and use him for his power. they want to make his life miserable despite the fact that he’s just trying to exist peacefully, helping out his grandparents and the rest of his village. they’re scared of him because of the actions of his ancestors, and that fear turns into violence. and it’s all just so unfair. yakumo’s so young, but he’s experienced so much suffering in his short life. and for what?

quincy knows violence can’t solve all his problems, but he thinks it can solve this one, at least. it won’t make yakumo feel better, but it will allow him to figure out exactly what happened while letting him blow off steam on people who deserve it.

as much as quincy hates to admit, he needs to find kuya. the old fox’s nosiness will actually be a benefit to him in this situation. and perhaps once he figures out what his ‘favourite songbird’, as he says, is going through, he’ll consider coming along.

good. the sick bastards that dared to hurt yakumo deserve all of the unimaginably painful punishment that’s coming to them.

#this wasn’t supposed to be so long oops #what if yakumo trauma from the cult situation but like. Even Worse!! somehow!! #nu carnival #yakumo ♡ #quincy ♡ #quincamo #yakuya #kuya #mouser muses

[yuikomorii]

I know this post was more like a joke but honestly F*CK the Sakamaki’s! I don’t hate them, I still like some of them more or less but after reading a few Lost Eden routes, I came to the conclusion that the only genuinely good person in the Sakamaki household is Ayato and all his brothers are just bitches. I wasn’t even interested in him before but thanks to you and some other blogs, I gave him a chance and he ended up being my second favorite character, which I don’t regret because this boy’s mental strength is the best and he deserved way better than how those assholes treated him and I can’t believe what I’m going to say but if I were him, I doubt I would have been able to forgive any of them.

Kudos to him for not becoming dependant on/obsessing over Yui or projecting his insecurities on her, unlike his brothers. Bonus points for being the only Sakamaki who doesn’t change into a better boyfriend or brother thanks to Yui, but into a BETTER PERSON, which speaks more volume.

// Aah, I’m glad people are finally realizing Ayato’s development!🥹💕

I'm pretty sure everyone who follows me knows how much I despise LE, and as an Ayato stan, I have every right to do so because he has major roles in two other routes and suffers. I wouldn't have had anything against the Sakamakis if Ayato acted mean and unapologetic towards them in their routes, but the truth is, he was actually supportive and even apologized if he had previously judged them. I don’t like the fact that he is the only Sakamaki who didn’t receive an apology, despite the fact that he deserved one the most. Ayato’s mistakes could have been avoided if they didn’t provoke him or at least showed a bit of support. His LE route was mental abuse for him, as his greatest fears are not having anyone believe in him and being unloved, and due to his brothers those came true ://

But what really bothers me is that Ayato, as the main guy, is the true lover, which means that his routes are the ones that are "true." A love interest's most canon version is literally the one portrayed in true routes, and the fact that not even one of them was able to display at least a little empathy for his brother is just sad—

Anon, this paragraph “Kudos to him for not becoming dependant on/obsessing over Yui or projecting his insecurities on her, unlike his brothers. Bonus points for being the only Sakamaki who doesn’t change into a better boyfriend or brother thanks to Yui, but into a BETTER PERSON, which speaks more volume.” is pure gold, thank you for stating facts!👏🏻

#admin

[blvckdress]

𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐔

The 1970s was a great decade for music. The diverse musicality of rock took the world by storm with bands such as The Beatles—who’s psychedelic blues, mop top haircuts and Cuban heels garnered the attraction of many audiences— The Who, Led Zepplin, Queen and AC/DC. But there was one group out of the bunch that stood out as one of the most popular acts of the punk rock era. They embodied everything that made the genre what it was. Crude, vile, filthy were words used to describe their music catalog and attitude. Raw and stripped down, everything about them was pure punk.Formed in 1971 the band, Diabolik Lovers, played gigs as the rising punk scene caused by economic crisis, anti authoritarianism, and unrestriction helped them build a loyal audience as they performed in pubs, garages, bars and clubs. It wasn’t until their third album, Silver Rose, did they blow up in popularity with their hit song, “Haunted Dark Bridal”, topping national and international charts.

Shu Sakamaki:

Bassist of the band

Bro is actually a decent player and has a good grasp of music theory, producing iconic, yet simple riffs that become of staple of their music

But

With him there is always a but

He is lazy as shit

Genuinely a terrible performer

During one of their t

ours he was so coked up and played for three days straight absolutely blacked out

like fully - kinda - functioning and everything

It was impressive on his part though ngl

Though that's pushing it

He barely plays in shows and often plucks the same string over and over while moving his fingers and acts like he did something smh

for the most part he is a visual element

However the complete lack of motivation and "I don't give a fuck attitude" made him insanely popular and it drove fans absolutely crazy

like this dude didn't care about anything and something about it was just so appealing

he didn't have to try

him being hot as hell also helped so there's that

his blue eyes became a common staple of his beauty

Reiji Sakamaki:

manager of the band

absolutely hates their fucking guts

but not really tho

except for this onesonofabitchwhocan'tplayfor- !

anyways

this guy genuinely has the hardest job in the world

having to play not only manager but babysitter to drugged up, hormonal, angry teenagers is the equivalent to being in the fifth circle of hell

he would often have to chain them to their beds so they wouldn't go off and do something stupid

but where there's ayato there's hope

alas he is a pretty great manager

the way he promotes them and capitalizes off their image is actually pretty insane

their albums as a whole, except Silver Rose, pales in comparison to other artists at the time but Reiji basically gaslights the public into thinking it is the epitome of musical and lyrical genius

makes their lunches and reads their fanmail to try to get them to go to sleep

occasionally helps with the song writing bc his prose kinda be hitting

Ayato Sakamaki:

lead guitarist of the band

okay only guitarist the band but same difference

this guy is a natural attention whore and when he gets on that stage it becomes his bitch

he's honestly not that good of a guitarist but he just flails about and strums like he never strummed before

overall he gets the job done

what he does is make up for it with his electrifying stage presence and is testament to the creative youth culture prevalent at the time

he is unapologetic as he will ad lib completely different riffs in songs and rips off his shirt during performances

happily catches bras with laito when they are thrown on stage

makes a game out of it as he catches them with the neck of his guitar

with his fiery red hair, complete and total arrogance he expressed a raw and thrilling intensity that added that little je ne sais quois in the band

considered the face of the band

reiji deduced that he is the most 'marketable' and is what would be used to get people interested in the band in the first place

he obvs loved this bc hello

wanted to be a singer but that request was disrespectfully declined by Reiji

Kanato Sakamaki:

where to start with this one

he is super camp

main vocalist obsv (F2-F5 is his range)

his voice matches their songs perfectly

there is no other way to describe it

the man was a straight up menace

heckle at him??

he will fight u to the death and feel no remorse

but he has a good voice so his other quirks are not really a problem

no one can do it like him

he is 162 cm, has heavy as shit bags under his eyes and carries a teddy bear around with ashes inside

oops nvm no one was supposed to know that

anyways this guy has the personality of a ticking time bomb and is always ready to throw a bitch fit

to his credit tho, ppl get to see a wwa match while listening to songs with his voice so its a win win situation

this guy sneers at his audience, is needlessly angry, and has so much contempt for society there is no way one could genuinely think how he thinks without being unironic

radiates vitriol and no one even comes close

thats what makes him iconic

likes the sugar

if u know what i mean

Laito Sakamaki:

keyboardist

goes without saying but girls salivate over this man

he is never not not seen with a girl backstage

gets upset with reiji when he is not allowed to go over double digits

bro is like genghis khan

has offspring left and right

like ayato he is a big ad lib-er

both on the keyboard and vocals

ayato and laito are like two peas in a pod

if ayato embodies the crude

laito embodies the lewd

if ayato was fire

laito was gasoline

kisses fans in the audience while on stage whenever he plays the keytar

was actually a pretty big contributer in the making of 'Silver Rose' which was the only song in which every member of the band actually pitched in

Subaru Sakamaki:

drums

obvs

when the band inevitably breaks up he is the first one to sneer on their legacy

his fingers bleed from his agressive drum playing and his sets frequently have to be replaced

the only member he tolerates is Shu

thinks their lives and career are completely pathetic

but does it anyway cause he's an emO bOY

his feelings need to be heard

and seen

if kanato was the voice of punk

subaru was the attitude

so there's that

honestly tho

despite his raging anger issues

he mostly just keeps to himself and has little to no interpersonal relationships with anyone in the band

the fashion really suited his

dr. martens, tattoos (his most iconic one being a white rose on his bicep), leather jackets and occassionally spiked hair were his go to

Yui Komori:

groupie

she is very much a product of her environment

her whole life she has been sujected to purity culture and the strict rules of growing up with the church

so when one of the girls in her school was able to sneak in a cheap CD of a random L.A sunset strip band she was in awe

she was obsessed with the freedom and anti-establishment ideologies that were prevalent in what she thought was loud, agressive music

it became a sort of catharsis for her

it was the forbidden fruit that she needed to have a bite of

At 14 she saw the growing punk scene was in NYC and that is where she had to be

she worked many odd jobs

growing up with second hand clothes her whole life she was able to mend things pretty easily which made her fit in with crowds that looked down on consumerism and corporations

surface level she did not 'look' the part

it was when she styled her hair and accentuated her natural curls, went braless, wore crop tops, bell bottoms and chunky shoes that she became a top groupie and a fixture in the new york rock scene

her feminine style mixed with elements of punk subculture made her very popular

she would visit gritty, grimy clubs like CBGB and would do anything to get access

she would decide to go by the name Eve

she followed multiple bands on their tours

it was when she saw DL perform did she know that was the band for her

she would catch the attention of the boys and soon be a prominent figure in their sets

#diabolik lovers #headcanons #band au #diabolik lovers headcanons #i added yui last minute bc why not

[totaldramaenthusiast]

The Sharara Wedding (by adopted anon :D)

The wind was lacking in a way that felt serene. There was nothing unpleasantly throwing the sand in leaps and bounds around, and nothing steering the beautiful music away from the event. While the volume was dull, almost muted, the hum of lyrics came through the speakers. ‘And I won’t let you fall; I won’t let you go…” drifted throughout the venue, giving both a harmonious feel and a beautiful atmosphere. Rows upon rows of wooden seats were filled by friends and fellow interns alike - even Chef seemed to be weeping in the corner-most seat, donning a dazzling pink dress with slits at the bottom. The couple’s child was perched at the very front of the rows, leaning forward with stars in their eyes. They wore a navy blue suit with a ruffle hand-sewn onto the cuff, presenting themselves with a combination of excitement and grace.

The idea to have the wedding at the beach was a splendid one. Baby blue and calm, the sea reached up the shore as if it wanted to see the event for itself, too. Blossoming in the sky was the sunset. It was a gorgeous mix of pinks, reds and oranges, and just about everything in between, spreading just below the horizon.

A priest stood at the end of the aisle, poised and regal yet tender with kindness and sincerity. As per request of the soon-to-be-wed couple, he was wearing a white suit, ruffled just the correct amount to be beautiful, but not so flamboyant as to distract the attention from the main event. Sharky was positioned there, too, a white dress flowing around him and a bouquet of red and pink flowers in hand. He was waiting for the moment that Rara would be brought down the aisle Looking down at the swirling assortment of posies and roses with his eyebrows furrowed, he hoped that his soon-to-be would like them. Sharky glanced up to see Rara walking over, in between the rows of seats. While their accented suit was eloquent, their beanie was still perched on their head in a lopsided manner. It was charming in a dorky way. Soon enough, both people were standing opposite to each other, gazing into the other’s eyes (Sharky had to look up, obviously). They were buzzing with nervousness, yet it was welcomed with open arms. The priest cleared his throat.

"Sharky, do you take Rara as your marriage partner for life?" He asked, bowing his head in respect as he directed the question towards Sharky. "I, Sharky, take you, Rara, to be my marriage partner. When you need a friend, I will be your best friend. When you need help, I will be there for you. When you need care, I will support you. When you want to try something new, I will encourage you. And when you do the same for me, I will appreciate you. But if you don't... I will forgive you. Every day. For the rest of my life." The words that made themselves clear were sincere, laced with the tender tones of genuine devotion. A tentative grin was on Sharky's features, and his eyes were lit up with sparks of pure love dancing and twirling within them.

"Rara, do you take Sharky as your marriage partner for life?" The priest had turned over to look at Rara. They adjusted their beanie nervously, before starting to speak. "I, Rara, take you, Sharky, to be my marriage partner. I feel overwhelmingly lucky and proud to be standing beside you today. Thank you for accepting me for all that I am. Thank you for always supporting and loving me, unconditionally. I love that you love my very awesome Total Drama A.Us. I vow to love you without reservation or conditions. I vow to always do my best to give more than I take, and not keep score. When I am with you, I am the best version of myself because I am utterly and unapologetically myself. I vow to continuously work on myself, and to be the person you want and deserve.” They wrung their hands together, smiling with blithesomeness.

There was a moment of peaceful silence as both of them thought through the other’s vows, hearts lingering on each and every word as though it couldn’t catch up with their minds. It was a perfect moment in time, truly.

(and then they both explode BOOM💥💥💥💥i just went through a whole 10 box of creme eggs and just downed 2 cans of cola and am feeling omnipresent so i apologise for the mistakes. also i didn’t know what the book of life was until this?? i saw the suggestion for the wedding music snd it brought me down a rabbit hole of that… yay!)

Giggling and kicking my feet, i shed a lil tear at this/pos

THIS IS ACTUALLY ADORABLE AWWE, AAA I LOVE THIS

(Get your well deserved rest adopted anon, hope you continue to enjoy the book of life songs‼😭💞)

#sharara #AskTDEnthusiast #THIS IS SO CUTE CRYING #adopted anon