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lowkeyremi · 3 months

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"I'M PREGNANT"

How they react when you tell them you're pregnant ! ft. gojo, geto, choso, toji, and nanami (fem reader)

content: no curse!au, fluff, slightly suggestive, mentions of infertility (choso), mentions of a miscarriage, established relationship (marriage + dating), children, families.

Gojo Satoru

Upon arriving home from another stressful day of work, Satoru looks around for his loving, beautiful, awesomest (his words not yours), girlfriend.

"UGHH I had a HORRIBLE day today. Baby, where are you so I can tell you all about it?!!" He takes note of how most of the lights are off and he can't smell dinner. Even on your worst work days you always make dinner, so there are two things Satoru can think of off the top of his head. A. You're out with friends and forgot to tell him or, B. Something is really wrong and you're hiding from him.

His stomach drops at the idea of option B, and as much as he'd like to eliminate that option it is very possible.

"[name]? Where are you?" He asks loud enough for you to hear it from your shared bathroom. You stare silently at the three positive pregnancy tests on the floor next to you. You know it's only a matter of time before he figures it out because he's used your real name instead of a pet name.

"If you're cheating on me then don't worry. I'll only kill the bastard who dared to make a move on you." If you weren't so stressed from your current situation you might have laughed at the fact that Satoru is a clueless idiot. Why would you cheat on him?

He starts walking deeper into the apartment. Into your room, you note, because you can hear his soft footsteps.

"Tell the coward to come out, babe. I bet he's in there with you fearing for his life right now." His voice sounds deadly but you know deep inside he's probably devastated thinking you've cheated on him.

"It's just me 'Toru. I.. I um. I need a minute." He shuffles outside of the door. If you're correct he's probably pressing his ear to the door to listen for another man's voice.

"I'm unlocking the door." He says, and fuck, you forgot that there's that little key at the top of the door to unlock it.

"Toru don't!" He unlocks the door pushing it open to reveal what's going on. It all happens too fast, you launch to try and close the door. In the process, one of the three tests gets kicked. His eyes draw to the moving object. They focus in on the test and he about falls to the ground.

"B-baby.. what are those?" The silence after his sentence is so loud that you could hear the busy city life outside of the bathroom window.

"You know what they are Satoru." He makes his way over to you embracing you so delicately like he'd break you if he squeezed any harder.

"Am I gonna be a daddy?" The question is whispered softly into your ear. Your tears fall landing on his shoulder.

"If you want to keep the baby, then yes." Ultimately it's not his choice, he knows that, but he also understands that this statement you've mentioned means you've already made your decision to keep the little baby forming inside of you.

"Fuck yeah I wanna keep it! Hope it looks like me so you have two adorably cute people to look at everyday. Also what the hell, my pull out game sucks!" He starts muttering to himself about how he could have sworn he hadn't cum inside of you recently.

All your anxiety subsides, and is replaced with faint annoyance when you roll your eyes.

"I'm having second thoughts." He doesn't realize you're joking because of how serious you look.

"Waittttttt I take it back!! The baby can look like you instead PLEASEEEEE PLEASEE KEEP IT." It's astonishing how your boyfriend can go from thinking you've cheated on him to being a sap in a matter of seconds.

Geto Suguru

"Sugu... can we go get some food?" This is the sixth night in a row you've asked this question. At first, Suguru just thought you had the munchies, but after observing you, he thinks there could be a different reason for your sudden change of behavior.

"It's 2:30 in the morning doll.." You sit up sleepily to check your phone and sure enough there are about two minutes until it's 2:30 am.

"How do you do that, Sugu?" He shrugs matching your previous actions.

"You seem to be having munchies every night? You getting enough to eat?" You nod meekly to answer his question. He suspects that you're pregnant but he's not sure how to bring it up.

"I have, but I dunno.. I've just been having these crazy food dreams that make me so hungry. I don't know where it's even coming from." He responds with a nod.

You take note of how he scratches the back of his neck, when he does that he's usually thinking.

"What's on your mind, Sugu?" He sighs inwardly as you get up out of bed to go make your latest craving: pork cutlet rice bowl with a fried egg on top. You didn't even really eat pork much but now you will destroy a pork cutlet bowl.

"I think you might be pregnant." You stop as soon as those words leave his mouth. The tension in the room rises as you try to find words to say.

"I- what? What makes you say that?"

"I mean think about it, last month I came inside of you like three or four times, which is enough to get you pregnant. On top of that you were testing out that new birth control since the other one was giving you weird side effects, and now you're craving pork. You don't even like pork." His reasoning makes since, but you're in denial right now.

"...That's a strong claim to make.... I mean what if it's just munchies?" He rubs his temple before getting out of the bed to join you in a hug.

"I'm not saying you are. I'm saying I think you are. If you are, you know I'll be there every step of the way with whatever decision you choose to make." He's so understanding, it's one of the many things you love about him.

For his sake you guys go out and buy a test for you to take. You took two of them, both showing a '+'.

"Well, it looks like you're gonna be a papa, Sugu." You say handing him the test, so he can see for himself.

"You're going to make an amazing mother, my love."

Kamo Choso

The both of you were clueless to the symptoms. He'd told you it's unlikely he'd ever get you pregnant because his sperm was tested, and he's very much infertile.

So, imagine his surprise when he sees a box of pregnancy tests under the bathroom sink while he's looking for a new tube of toothpaste.

You've already left for work so he'll wait for you to return to ask you about it.

He's excited, honestly. Choso has always wanted to start a little family with you, but he figured his infertility would stop that from happening. His doctor suggested adoption or a sperm donor. The two of you quickly ruled out the second option, it just didn't feel right to you guys.

The topic of adoption has been brought up here and there. You've both considered it deeply.

Choso can't sit still, he's off work today and the excitement within him will not fade away. All day long he's humming and practicing what he'll say to you when you get home. He even started looking at baby stuff.

When he hears the door unlock he's quick to act, greeting you at the door with kissing and smiles.

"Hey baby." His smile reaches his eyes, something it hasn't done in a little while.

"Hey, Cho. You seem to be in high spirits today."

"You're pregnant?" He blurts out the question without even thinking. Shit.. he was gonna try to ease into it.

"How'd you find out? Gosh did your stupid brother tell you? I was gonna surprise you!!" Confusion takes over your face when he gasps.

"You told Yuji before me? Baby.. how could you?" He's only half joking, he's a little bit sad, of course.

"I needed to tell someone!! I wanted to surprise you. I knew you were gonna be so excited." You pull him into a hug. He quickly reciprocates forgetting why he was even upset in the first place.

"Oh, I found out because the box of tests were under the sink."

"I probably should have hidden them better..."

Fushiguro Toji

Even though this is your second baby, telling him will never get any easier. When you'd told him about your first daughter he was indifferent about it. He'd go to great lengths to avoid you. Since you couldn't get through to him your only option was to call your step-son, Megumi.

He guessed that Toji was trying to figure out how to come to terms with being a father again. You had confronted your husband and he did admit to trying to understand the changes that would be made to your lives.

He said that his first daughter with you was his first and last child with you. You agreed with him because you only wanted a small little family. That was about three years ago. Here you are sitting on your bed looking at the test. Your daughter is playing on the floor with her toys.

"Mama, what wrong?" For her age she's quite perceptive. She must get that from Toji you think.

"Remember when you were telling Mama that you wanted a little sister or brother?" You'll break the news to her first. Her reaction will be the cuter and less stressful one.

"Mhm." Toji insisted on getting a bed frame that's somewhat high off the ground, so your little girl is standing right next to the bed waiting for you to pick her up.

Her deep green eyes stare deep into your soul as do your husband's eyes when he looks at you. She's sitting with her legs folded on your bed waiting for you to continue.

"Well.. you're going to have a little sibling." She springs up like a rocket, cheering in happiness.

"And when were you planning to tell me?" Your eyes quickly flicker over to the door frame which Toji is leaning against. There's a smug look on his face, nothing malice. Maybe he wants another one?

"Uh- Toji, baby, I was going to tell you soon. I just... Nami, my sweet girl? Can you go play with toys while mama and dad talk?" With ease she slides off your bed and walks out of your room.

Toji closes the door behind her ensuring she doesn't get nosy. "I didn't know how to tell you. You seemed really set on only having one.."

"I say stupid stuff all the time then change my mind. Do you really think I'd get mad at you for being pregnant? I'm the one who got you pregnant."

For once you don't know what to say.. you did think he'd be upset. Now that he's reassuring you all your anxiety washes away.

"I mean if it's another girl I might end it all." He's only joking, but you think another girl would be pretty funny.

"You're so stupid." He smirks at you, "You like it." Toji's not wrong, you do like it.

Nanami Kento

He could tell before you could. Everything started to add up when you complained about your back hurting, you hadn't mentioned period cramps in awhile and you seemed to be more clingy than Kento's ever seen you before.

It would make sense, he thinks. You'd gotten off of birth control last year and he stopped using condoms when you two got married. He wants kids more than you do, he believes. That want became more prominent after your first baby died three months into the pregnancy.

It would be cute to see you walk around with a round belly, complaining about little things like not being able to put your shoes on, or something of the sorts. He could once again experience that paternal feeling he felt awhile back.

"Honey, what're you daydreaming about now?" You ask joining him on the couch.

"Do you think you might be pregnant?" He asks suddenly taking you by surprise.

"I haven't really thought about it but it would make sense. The aches, cravings, yeah." If he were any normal man he'd get you a pregnancy test, but honey, this is Nanami Kento. You have a doctor's appointment scheduled for the next day.

When you arrive at your appointment with your husband the doctor has you pee in a little cup and he asks a bunch of boring but necessary questions.

On the drive home you notice Kento tapping the wheel to the tune of the song you're playing. He's never really liked your music tastes so he must really be excited.

"I can't wait to get the results." You nod in complete bliss. You're still trying to process the potential pregnancy. There was a time in the past; two months after you'd gotten off your birth control, you ended up pregnant but unfortunately your little baby passed away before being born.

There's hope in your heart that this baby is here to stay... a rainbow baby.

Within a few hours the doctor calls your husband telling him the results are positive. You're going to be a mother if this baby stays strong.

"We're going to be parents." He's so excited but he tries to contain his excitement.

"You're going to be a great daddy, Ken." He smiles dreamily at you. This is a dream come true to him. He couldn't think of anything better.

"I just know this is the one, Honey. We aren't going to lose this one." He tells you quietly with a little smile and you trust him. After all, Kento would never lie to you.

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suffersinfandom · 6 months

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Controversial opinion (?): the Kraken Era wasn’t all that dark.

There’s a whole lot of meta and fic out there that portray early season two Ed as a bloodthirsty, hyperviolent monster, and when that portrayal is challenged, the rebuttal is usually along the lines of, “I’m just doing what canon did. Did you even watch the show?”

I did watch the show, and honestly? I expected Ed to be so much worse than he was! When I see people say they didn’t think Ed did enough to redeem himself or that he went past the point of no return, I just… don’t understand.

I already went into this in my way-too-long meta about Ed and abuse, but I do think it bears repeating (in a shorter post) because it seems like Ed’s actions -- more than the actions of any other character -- are scrutinized and discussed outside of the context of, y’know… a comedy about pirates. There’s tons of casual violence in Our Flag Means Death. Sometimes the violence is even funny!

So what does Ed actually do?

As far as I can remember (I’ve only seen season two a few of times, so correct me if I’ve missed something!), we see Ed directly harm someone twice in the first two episodes: first on the wedding boat, and then when he shoots Izzy in the leg. Kind of unimpressive numbers, yeah? Tbh, I'd expect more out of a heartbroken Blackbeard.

The first instance involves Ed shooting a man during a raid. That man has a sword through his chest before Ed fires, leading me to believe that Ed’s still following his season one pattern of keeping himself a step removed from murder (technically, the sword killed that guy). We also don’t see the murder happen; the man tumbles offscreen before Ed shoots. This makes the action less brutal. If the writers wanted us to be appalled by Ed’s violence, we would’ve gotten a graphic kill (or several).

And the second instance is Izzy. Ed shoots Izzy in the leg after he suggests that the shitty atmosphere is because of Ed’s feelings for Stede. Hot take, maybe, but I don’t think that was entirely out of line -- definitely not for a pirate captain whose first mate is acting out! Ed’s feelings for Stede are not the only problem; a significant chunk of the problem is Izzy. Izzy called in the navy and led to their capture and, more importantly, Izzy bullied Ed back into the Blackbeard persona. This is what Izzy said he wanted.

We’re also told that Ed has taken more of Izzy’s toes between seasons. This isn’t cool -- bosses definitely shouldn’t be asking for their employees’ toes -- but there is a precedent for it: in season one, Ed told Stede that he used to feed people their toes for a laugh (yuck). For a laugh. This, to me, implies that it’s not a huge deal. It’s certainly not completely unexpected pirate behavior, and it seems more lenient than, like, a keelhauling or a whipping. I think both of those things would've felt way more gruesome and dark.

As far as violent actions go, that’s not a lot. Like, numerically.

Things get darker in S2E2 when Ed becomes increasingly desperate for someone, anyone, to send him to doggy heaven. He’s unhinged and working his way up to a murder-suicide before he’s stopped, but he doesn’t lay a hand on anyone. He orders Archie and Jim to fight to the death. He ignores anonymous crewmembers as they’re swept overboard in the storm. This is bad! It’s self-destructive and selfish! But violent? Monstrous? I don’t really think so.

In my opinion, the worst thing Ed does is force his crew to do violence for him -- not because it’s violence (again, they’re pirates), but because the violence hurts them. THIS is what traumatizes them! Their trauma flashbacks are scenes of them hurting others, not of Ed hurting them directly. Ed didn’t physically torture his crew (with the exception of Izzy, and that’s complicated). His crime was driving them to do one violent raid after another, killing and plundering without any joy or theatrics. Ed feels trapped in the role of Blackbeard -- the role that he’s been desperate to escape -- and, in his heartbreak, he opts to trap his crew with him.

Yeah, Ed is messed up in the first two episodes of season two. I don’t blame the crew for almost killing him; it’s what needed to be done. I think that Jim, Archie, Frenchie, and Fang had every right to want Ed gone after Stede’s return.

But I don’t think that Ed was a super violent monster who tortured his crew and murdered his way through his breakup. He engages in very little onscreen violence, and the person that most of his violence is focused on -- Izzy -- is the same person who told him to be violent. I think that anyone who says that Ed’s actions in the first part of season two are extremely dark is either looking at them out of context, misremembering what actually happened and just recalling the dark tone, or working with some kind of motive.

In conclusion: Ed is a man who, at his very darkest, was still operating pretty firmly within the bounds of "stuff pirates do" (but not stuff Ed has historically done, presumably).

Also look at him. Thank you.

GIF by unearthlydust

#ofmd #ofmd meta #edward teach #me typing things #idk i just keep seeing this thing?#this 'ed is irredeemable to me personally' thing #and that's fine?#hate characters if you want to?#but i don't think the kraken is all that evil #i mean i guess ed disagrees #hence the guilt and agreeing to humiliation and apologies #my poor mentally ill blorbo

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suzukiblu · 9 months

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excerpt from in-progress Superfam fic (aka the one where Clark panic-adopts his teenage clones, yes including the supervillain one):

Match hears a heartbeat in the air, high overhead. He doesn't look towards it.

He recognizes it.

He doubts its owner would recognize his, though.

"Superboy?" Superman asks as he drifts down into Match's peripheral vision. "Are you alright, kid?"

Match thinks about lying. He sat through the briefing this morning, after all. He knows the Agenda's plan. He knows what he's supposed to do for it.

"Superboy's in France," he says instead.

". . . what?" Superman says. Match doesn't look at him. Watches the lab burn down a little more in front of them, but nothing else.

"Superboy's in France," he repeats. "Outside Lyon, probably. That's where the new lab is."

"You're–ah," Superman realizes. "Match?"

"Yes." Match keeps watching the lab burn. He's honestly surprised Superman remembers his name. Or even remembers him at all.

Well, eidetic memory and all.

"If Superboy's in Lyon, then what happened here?" Superman asks, glancing towards the flames. Match thinks about lying again, but there's just not really a point.

"I did it," he says.

"Why?" Superman asks.

"They want me to kill Robin," Match says, and Superman . . . pauses. "And Wonder Girl, if I get a shot. But mostly Robin. He's the priority target."

"Why?" Superman asks again, very carefully. Some burning debris falls down. Match watches it go.

"To destabilize Batman," he says, because there's still no point in lying. It doesn't matter. When has it ever, really? Lying has never gotten him anything he wanted. "So the Justice League will be weakened."

"But you're not supposed to kill Superboy?" Superman says.

"There's no point in killing Superboy," Match says reasonably. "It's not like you'd care if he died."

"The Agenda thinks I wouldn't care if Superboy died?" Superman asks incredulously, just staring at him. "Why, because he's a clone?"

"Because I reported back my interactions with you when I was pretending to be him," Match corrects, puzzled by the vehemence of the response. "And also the lack thereof."

"What?" Superman says, still just staring.

"Batman loves Robin," Match reminds him, really not understanding the look on the man's face–like he's surprised or something, somehow? Like he somehow doesn't know how he interacts with Thirteen? "You don't even like Superboy. So killing him isn’t currently productive to the Agenda's goals. He's more useful as a live sample."

"You're telling me that Superboy is only alive right now because the Agenda doesn't think that someone murdering him would bother me," Superman says, his voice very careful again.

"Yes," Match confirms. More burning debris falls down.

Match watches it go.

"Take me to the lab in Lyon," Superman says. Match looks over at him, mostly because his voice sounds very odd all of a sudden, and frowns. Superman's eyes are burning red.

Heat vision. Okay.

"No," Match says. Superman's eyes burn visibly hotter, but he doesn't actually activate his heat vision. It's not an attack.

Then Superman exhales, and it's an icy fog.

But it's still not an attack.

"Why not?" Superman asks.

"Why would I bother?" Match says. "You can destroy it after Superboy escapes."

Thirteen will escape, Match knows. He can't escape, but Thirteen always does.

"I'm going to go get him, Match," Superman says, and Match frowns in confusion at the statement. "I don't care about the lab or the Agenda. I just want to get Superboy."

"That isn't consistent with your previous behavior," Match notes, his frown deepening. He'd be suspicious, maybe, but . . . well, Superman does save people.

Just not usually Thirteen, in Match's experience of him.

Or . . . any clone, really.

In Match's experience of him.

Not that he ever expected Superman to bother with . . .

Thirteen called them brothers, the first time they met. Meanwhile, Match is pretty sure that this is at best the second time that Superman's ever even spoken to him without thinking he was Thirteen, and technically he still started off the conversation on that assumption.

It's just very obvious that he doesn't care about any shared DNA they have or . . . anything like that.

"Please take me to the lab in Lyon, Match," Superman says.

"So you can go get Superboy," Match says.

"Yes," Superman says.

You never came to get ME, Match doesn't say.

"Alright," he says instead, and gets to his feet.

#match #dc match #superman #clark kent #rinfic #long post #wip: clark panic-adopts his teenage clones

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starletdawn · 4 months

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palces out of paragraphs

You sit on your bed eyes glued to your notes and your a sheet of paper. You had a 6 page essay coming up and it was worth 70% of your grade. You suddenly hear a knock. you jump from your bed. “Coming!” you say loudly expecting your parents back from their date night. As you open the door weirdly enough no one is there. You hear the knock again you turn around, and see your boyfriend Jason Dean waiting for you like a little puppy outside your bedroom window. For some reason he was obsessed with climbing your window this was honestly normal behavior for him. You quickly open the window and before you can say anything he goes into your room. He immediately wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into a soft kiss. “What are you doing here baby?” I say as I pull away softly. “Well, I’ve barely seen you today at school. Where have you been my love?” he responds “I’ve been working on my essay I want a really good grade,” I say softly. “Well, now that you’re done with your essay what should we do? I mean I saw your parents leave the house earlier and I was thinking we could…” He smirks now putting his hands on your hips. “There are still some things I still have to review for my test.” You sigh as you bite your lip nervously “And I don't want any distractions.” “C’mon let me stay darling” He pouts leaning in to your cheek giving it a gentle kiss. “Okay, but promise to not distract me.”Promise!” He says you go back to studying. He plays with my hair and fidgets with your cat plushie. “I don’t understand why you try so hard once we get married I’ll spoil you with everything you want.You won’t have to work for a day.” He remarked although you rolled eyes your heart flutter at the thought of you being more than just a highschool fling. “On second thought I would love a smart-ass as my lover” JD teases. After a few minutes you started getting frustrated and tired. Your hands starts hurting and you can barely keep your eyes open the worst part was that you weren’t even close to done. “You should take a break sweetheart” Jason says looking into your tired eyes “No, I can’t” I groan. “You’ll be able to get more done if you’re energized. “C’mon just take a short break and then you can go back to working.” ”Fine” You finally give in. You lay your head on his chest He caress your hair and cheek. “You’re so gorgeous my dear I could stare at you forever and never get tired. You’re honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” His words, his tender touch on my skin, His beautiful eyes all caused my body to relax and before I knew it I was in a deep slumber.

The cold breeze hits your arms goosebumps on your skin. You slowly open your eyes to complete darkness. You look over to your clock it’s 2:00am and Jason is no longer here. “He must’ve left” you thought to yourself. You quickly realized that you forgot to finish your essay you panic searching inside you backpack you find the essay and you suddenly realize It’s all done. All 6 pages filled with information you found a sticky note plastered to it. It read “I used all your notes and resources I tried my best to follow the prompt and use correct grammar I hope you like it my dear. Sincerely, JD” After reading through it. I was honestly surprised I knew Jason was smart (when it benefited him) but oh shit the essay was perfect. Despite his usual bad handwriting he wrote the essay in neat writing and honestly it looked like he put a lot effort into the paper for such short time. You put your essay back into the paper thinking about how lucky you were to have such a precious boyfriend.

This my first writing I’ve published so please be nice but feedback is welcome!!💗💗

#jd x you #jason dean #heather mcnamara #jason dean x reader #jason dean x you #christian slater #heathers #heather duke #heather chandler #veronica sawyer #jd heathers #fluff #oneshot

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verdantcrimson · 28 days

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Kanna Natsu Idol Story - 2

Written by: Akira

Season: Spring

TL: verdantcrimson

Proofread: @revuestarlight

[Two years since ES was established. In the ES building infirmary.]

Kanna: ……

Hinata: Goood morning!

Yuta: Today, we’re thinking of playing a hidden camera prank on the talk of the town, child prodigy, Kanna Natsu, when he wakes up!

Hinata: Because both of us in 2wink love pranks!

Yuta: —and since we've been in the business for the while, the agency was like, “C'mon, show your junior how things work around here. You guys love that sort of stuff, right?”

Hinata: There's a difference between playing a prank and bullying, though!

Yuta: But we can't disobey the agency. That's just life, y'know? We've gotta work hard and pull this off in order to maintain our character image.

Hinata: Why do you seem weirdly pumped about this, Yuta-kun?

Yuta: This guy is Kanna Natsu, y'know…… Everyone's making a fuss about what a genius he is, but he's still just a brat, and seeing him get more attention than us pisses me off.

Yuta: We've gotta punish this ill-mannered newbie, don't we?

Hinata: Whoops, it's getting hard to keep my brother's wickedness in check these days, yknow~?

Hinata: Ah, but he's acting like this on purpose because that's the kind of image he's decided on! Yuta-kun is actually a good kid!

Hinata: All of you watching at home, please don't misunderstand!

Yuta: Hell yeah, that's the perfect excuse. Now, no matter how cruel and inhumane I behave, I can just say it's because my agency or my producer told me to play that sort of character.

Yuta: I can use that to justify my bullying. Hehehe.

Hinata: How wicked… Looking at you these days makes your big brother worry, Yuta-kun.

Hinata: …..Hm?

Kanna: ……

Kanna: ……?

Hinata: I knew this would happen. Look, look, Yuta-kun! Natsu-kun is awake already!

Yuta: Huh, No way. He looked like he was fast asleep— Maybe we made too much of a racket?

Hinata: What should we do? Should we abort mission? I didn't really want to do an unfunny and old-school prank like that anyways, so I'm fine with it.

Yuta: It sounds like you were making a fuss on purpose so that the plan would fail.

Kanna: Good morning.

Hinata: Ah, yup. Morning. You sure slept well.

Kanna: Yes, thank you. Though sleeping isn't something I do for leisure.

Kanna: I don't get the opportunity to sleep when I'm occupied with research, so I try to sleep as much as I can whenever I find time.

Kanna: Also, if I pretend to be asleep, everyone will leave me alone.

Hinata: Oh, so you were just pretending to be asleep? Then, did you realize we were trying to prank you?

Kanna: Yes. Though, even when I'm asleep, one half of my brain stays awake.

Yuta: Are you a dolphin?

Hinata: That's so genius-core.

Kanna: I think anyone could do it with enough training.

Yuta: Tsk tsk tsk. It's exactly because all that training is so tedious that nobody would ever be able to make a name for themselves as a genius.

Kanna: I see. I understand now.

Kanna: I think that if anyone focused all their efforts on a single thing for approximately a year, they could become an expert in that field.

Kanna: Only a child like myself would be able to concentrate on a single thing for as long as they want to, correct?

Kanna: Any adult, I mean, essentially everyone, requires time to eat, play, socialize, and maintain their physical and mental health.

Kanna: It is quite difficult to concentrate on a single thing.

Kanna: That is why they fall short of success. Yes, people who are able to do that to some extent from the very beginning— Only they are successful and lauded as geniuses.

Kanna: If everyone is limited to only being able to spend a fraction of their time on their efforts, then only those who are privileged are able to succeed and win.

Kanna: That is the reason, correct? It's logical. I can understand this.

Hinata: I've been wondering, what on earth is this kid going on about…?

Yuta: You like making theories about other people based on their behavior and then feeling like you've understood them, don't you?

Kanna: Yes. Because I'm around that age. That's adolescence, I suppose.

Hinata: Yeah, well I don't believe that! If you treated any older kid like a ‘teenage brat’ they'd get angry and rebel. They'd never admit that they're going through puberty!

Kanna: Maybe that was just the case for you, Yuta Aoi.

Hinata: … Oh? Huh? Ermm?

Kanna: It's easier to live when you believe that your ‘normal’ and the world's ‘normal’ aren't congruent.

Kanna: I've long since given up on that sort of premise.

Kanna: I'm different from everyone else. I'm certain, nothing can be done about this.

Hinata: Ummm… I'm terribly sorry if we're boring you or something, but I think there's been a misunderstanding, so let me clear it up.

Hinata: I'm Hinata.

Yuta: And I'm Yuta.

Kanna: No.

Kanna: I know about you two. The twin idols from Cosmic Productions, 2wink.

Kanna: The two of you have changed your marketing strategy as of late, with the older brother Hinata continuing to present as a cheerful a good kid—

Kanna: —While the younger brother, Yuta, differentiates himself from his older brother by growing out his hair and selling a ‘bad kid’ image.

Kanna: That is what the established theory is.

Hinata: The established ‘theory’?

Yuta: Those are just facts.

Kanna: What are illusions?

Hinata: Huh, why'd you bring that up suddenly? What are you talking about?

Kanna: An illusion, or ‘sleight of hand’, is something that takes advantage of people's imagination.

Kanna: You make the world think that ‘the twins have differentiated their appearances and begun walking separate paths.’

Kanna: That way, you can do as much deception as you please.

Kanna: The twins that are supposedly never interchangeable, swap places in secret. Older brother becomes younger brother. Younger brother becomes older brother.

Kanna: Characteristic differences in hair length can also be accounted for using wigs and such.

Kanna: People tend to assume based on their prior knowledge, that ‘the one with longer hair must be the younger brother,’ since both brothers have similar facial features and so on.

Hinata: … Even if all of that were true, what good would it do for us to impersonate each other?

Kanna: Simply put, you two probably just enjoy those sorts of tricks.

Kanna: Furthermore, there are countless merits to being able to switch places. That is probably why having twins swap places is considered taboo, even in the most hard-core of detective novels.

Kanna: It's simply too convenient. It'd be used to forge alibis to no end, because now, anything goes.

Kanna: Additionally, if you succeed at your trivial ‘swapping places’ prank, you'd be able to make a fool of the child prodigy brat that everyone is making a fuss about, correct?¹

Kanna: You'd be able to say “That kid acts like he's a genius, but he's an oblivious idiot who couldn't even notice we switched places.”

Hinata & Yuta: ……

Kanna: 2wink is a unit comprised of a ‘good kid’ older brother and a ‘bad kid’ younger brother.

Kanna: Recently, it seems as though the two of them have truly diverged and are trying to pursue their own paths.

Kanna: That is why. Even if the younger brother was specifically requisitioned for work that would earn him points or experience as a ‘good kid’— The older brother would swap in and take his place. The reverse applies as well.

Kanna: So the two of you steadily gain experience and continue growing, correct?

Kanna: You're each trying to specialize in being a ‘good kid’ and ‘bad kid’.

Kanna: Waiting for an opportunity, with nobody any wiser.

Yuta: ……

Kanna: I don't have much interest in anything. However, I find your impressive tactics very interesting.

Kanna: I'm not trying to get in your way. However, by exposing your actions like this, I can render your footage unfit for broadcast.

Kanna: Even if what I said just now might be untrue.

Kanna: If the world's people begin to doubt you, you'll have a hard time operating. They might begin to think things like “Maybe they've swapped places?” or “Are they playing tricks?”

Kanna: All the earnest and serious people of the world will begin to view you poorly.

Kanna: That probably would not be desirable for you.

Kanna: I apologize. Being filmed and broadcasted in my sleep is quite embarrassing.

Kanna: That is why I have taken these preventative measures to keep it from occurring. Please understand that I bear no ill-will towards the two of you.

Kanna: That is all. I'm going to go back to bed now. Goodnight.

Kanna: Zzz, zzz.

Yuta: ……

Hinata: … He ended up being the real deal.

Yuta: Yeah. I figured it was just the usual hype you see on TV and magazines.

Hinata: (But really, I never thought he'd notice we ‘switched’.)

Yuta: (Yup. I thought nobody could tell. But this kid saw through us, probably just through a glimpse of our activities on the news or on the internet.)

Hinata: (To top it all off, just in case— He made sure we wouldn't get in trouble even if we did air it, by following it up with “what I said might be untrue.”)

Yuta: (He didn't want to inconvenience us, so he acted considerately.)

Hinata: (This brat sure acts full of himself. I ought to scribble on his face while he sleeps.)

Yuta: (Give it a rest already... Let sleeping gods lie, Yuta-kun.)²

Hinata: (You're such a good kid, Hinata-kun.)

Yuta: (And you’re a bad kid, right, Yuta-kun?)

Kanna: Zzz, zzz…♪

Hinata: (This kid might be incredible— more than anyone could imagine.)

Yuta: (But his sleeping face is adorable, just like any other normal kid's would be, y’know)

Translation notes

He's repeating back the same phrases that Hinata and Yuta used to describe him while he was 'sleeping'..

The original saying is '触らぬ神に祟りなし' which is means the same thing as 'let sleeping dogs lie', but I retained the 神 portion because I figured it might be a fun play on Kanna's first name '神無'

#Kanna Natsu #Hinata Aoi #Yuta Aoi

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vmbrq · 6 months

Note

(about your ovulation / ethan landry post)

YES PLEASE YES YES YES

this is SO TMI but last night i was basically crawling up the walls with how horny i was for ethan landry, and i was so fucking confused. checked my app: i’m ovulating. makes sense.

BUT YES LIKE ethan wouldn’t understand why you’re so touchy all of a sudden, not that you’re not touchy but it was amped by like, 100. and then it dawns on him and he’s like “oh. 🤔 oh 🤭😏” like he has never seen you so feral for him before, and it turns him on so much to know you want him so bad. bonus points if you cry while you’re riding him because he feels so good and you’re so horny for him.

i’m dead died dead

i know it's been a minute since i made that post, BUT MY FEELINGS STILL STAND AND YOU'RE SO CORRECT. and whenever i'm ovulating, i feel like a werewolf chained to a tree during the full moon, so you're so real for that.

your behavior would be different--not intrusive or unwanted, just different.

but, he doesn't comment on it when you ambush him from behind while he's talking with chad, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face into his back to take a deep inhale of laundry detergent, aftershave, and something distinctly ethan. you'll take every available opportunity to have at least one hand somewhere on his body in public, whether you're casually rubbing your palm over his back or hooking an arm around his to keep him close or linking your pinky with his. you steal kisses off him whenever you can. you're more forward about wanting his attention, even if you don't always outright say it.

while he certainly isn't complaining, he just doesn't quite understand where the onslaught of affection came from. sure, you love him, and you very rarely shy away from demonstrating it, but this exceeds what he's used to. throughout the day, he remains blissfully unaware, never knowing that you're a solid four seconds away from popping the button on his jeans and taking what you need. the shifting of his jaw and the concentrated furrow of his brow as he works through difficult homework questions, the defined sculpt of his arms in short-sleeve button-down, the earnest adoration reflected in his big, dark eyes as he listened to you speak--everything about him just looked so good.

how could you be expected to keep yourself in line?

he would refrain from inquiring until you two are in the privacy of one of your rooms, not wanting to embarrass you or put you on the spot in front of other people. but even then, he doesn't get much of a chance, because as soon as he shrugs off his backpack and turns around, you pounce, nearly causing him to trip over his own feet as you push him back onto the bed and climb atop him.

he's surprised, rightfully so. but you kiss him, and he's more than willing to let you. but his hands flutter tentatively around your waist as he tries to ground himself and sort through his thoughts. it feels as if his world has been flipped upside down. he simply thought you were being affectionate. was he wrong? were you trying to signal to him and he just never noticed? is there something going on?

"hey," he interjects when you finally break the kiss. his chest rises and falls beneath your hands as he pulls for oxygen, the collar of his blue shirt rumpled from where you'd drawn him closer, his eyes dazed and searching yours for an explanation. "hey, are you--are we..?" you shouldn't mistake his pause for rejection, he just wants to understand. he's rarely seen you this desperate for him before.

and when he finally does? when you, just as disheveled and breathless as he is, whine that you need him--that you need him so fucking badly, all it takes is a couple moments of consideration before he realizes what's happening with you. he swallows as the pieces of the situation click into place. fuck. you're ovulating. suddenly, your earlier behavior makes sense. your desire for his attention, your craving for touch, your insistence on being pressed as close as possible to him on the subway back to your apartment--you must have been feeling the full weight of its effects all day. and now that you have him beyond the view of the public eye, you can't wait any longer.

a hushed, broken moan of his name as you impatiently grind down on him is all that's needed to stir into creation a fire in the pit of his stomach. you want him--no, you need him. you need him. he can already feel his cock beginning to stiffen against your thigh, and the tip of his tongue flickers over his bottom lip. his gaze scans your expression once more, and his breathing grows shallower when he finally identifies that distinct glimmer in your eyes as sheer desperation and need.

at this point, he's certain nothing will be able to deter him from having you.

"how badly?" he pants. it's paired with a slight, teasing upturn of the corners of his lips, just testing the waters to see how you'll react. to see how deeply your desire runs.

he gets his answer when you, in a fit of irritation at his lack of urgency, draw him into another searing kiss that he returns in full. he gets his answer when you swat his hands away from your waist when he attempts to ease you down on his cock, your own pace much more reckless as you sink down on him without giving either of you a moment to adjust. he gets his answer when you pin his wrists down to the mattress, using them as leverage while you fuck yourself stupid on his cock. you treat him as if he were nothing but a toy for you to maneuver and utilize for your own pleasure, relentlessly pursuing orgasm after orgasm even as your thighs tremble and tears of bliss pool along your lash line.

for a moment, he wonders if you're too drunk on pleasure to speak properly. but your hands move from his wrists to his strong shoulders, and you dig your nails into his skin as you begin to babble mindlessly. "feels s' good. more, i ne--i can't--" you hiccup, a single teardrop slicing through the layer of perspiration blanketing your cheek. "need you to cum," you mumble. "want it inside."

"you sure?" he pants, eyes wide. "we've never--"

"ethan!" you complain petulantly.

shit. his hands, now freed and granted permission, move to grip your waist firmly. a squeal is punched from your throat when he meets your descent with a sharp, upward thrust of his hips, burying himself as deep inside you as possible.

he grins. fine by him.

#ethan landry smut #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x you #scream 6 smut #scream smut

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yourheart-inmyhands · 7 months

Note

heyyy it’s me again😓

i love ur writing sorryy😭 whenever it’s more convenient for you tho could i ask for yan zhongli (im obsessed with that man omfg), ayato and pantalone (again im obsessed w him sorry🥀) with a darling who is like, super high-maintenance? for an example they need to have their hair and nails done or they REFUSE(including them) to go near anyone because they think they don’t look good enough

stay safe, take breaks and make sure u are healthy above everything tho!!💗

-🐚

so i've never been into any of the hair and nails stuff (got my nails done professionally once in middle school, got sick of em after a week and ripped em all off) so i don't know how correct the lingo is, i kinda just went based off what i know from my sister, so i hope you enjoy :D

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including a small bit of delusional behavior, a small bit of obsessive behaviors, no specific pronouns used for the reader but a lot of mentions of reader having their hair/nails/lashes being done, and the rest is just sorta soft. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Zhongli, if you think this man has the mora to pay for anything you’re funny. There is an upside to this though, while he can’t pay to have you get your nails and hair done, or your lashes or for whatever else you wanna get, he can learn to do it for you. Hair and lashes take him a while as they can be more finicky but nails he picks up instantly. Not only is it cheaper but you can describe to him exactly what you want and he’ll be able to do it because he understands you and knows what you mean when you describe things. Plus you don’t have to worry about looking good when you get them done, you can just hang around in your pajamas until everything is finished.

Zhongli listened as you described the design you wanted on your nails, sorting through the assortment of polishes he had collected over his time with you. He’d do anything to please you, and while he couldn’t pay for the things you loved, he could certainly learn to do it for you. He understood wanting to maintain a certain image to the public but he’ll always insist that you look your best when you’re just you. When your hair hasn’t been done in a while, no fake lashes, and when your nails are just painted, no extra things on it. He doesn’t mind appearances, finding that he’s lived too long to base his relationship off something as simple as that, but he does appreciate both sides of you. While he’ll gladly chat about things while he does your nails or gossip while he does your hair, he’ll occasionally remind you that regardless of how you look, he’s always going to love you.

Yandere!Ayato is on top of it, like he schedules and pays for everything. He hires only the best and has them come to you, so that you can get the proper treatment you deserve in the comfort of the Kamisato Estate. You have personal stylists who do your nails, your hair, lashes, wardrobe updates, anything you want and they can do it. They also have some of the hottest gossip about the happenings in Inazuma, giving a proper salon treatment everytime they’re around.

You weren’t sure how Ayato made time to always schedule your appointments and such, keeping more on top of them than you did some days, but you weren’t about to complain about it. Your nail tech and hair stylist were amazing at their jobs, catering to your every whim and doing a phenomenal job at that, like they were born for this kind of work. The stories they brought with them were always just as great, the latest happenings around the city and the nation as a whole, who was doing what now and such on and so forth. Ayato would come to check in on you occasionally throughout your appointment, checking that everything was going well. And of course, when it’s done he expects you to come to his office and show off. He doesn’t care if you interrupt anything, to him you’re his top priority always. Plus he loves to see his darling all dolled up, feeling like the prettiest person in all of Inazuma. In his opinion, you always are, dolled up or not.

Yandere!Pantalone appreciates your intense take on your looks as appearances are a huge thing in his line of work, both on the business aspect and the intimidation aspect. He wants people to see that his accumulated wealth doesn’t go to waste, that he didn’t work for nothing. No, he uses his mass amount of mora to spoil his beloved, someone he has no problem writing checks or opening his wallet for. Anyone else can mind their own, his money is yours. The only downside to this is that he’s a horribly busy man, he’ll find whatever stylists you want and find some way to bring them to the Palace so you can have your appointments in the security of the Harbingers, but it’s up to you to schedule the appointments and keep track of when you’ll need to see them again. Just make sure you tell him when they are when you go to flaunt your new hairstyle and nail’s to him.

Pantalone’s soft smile spread just a bit farther across his face as you came bounding into his office, a bright smile of your own. You had just gotten your hair done and nails touched up and he could tell you were back to feeling like yourself again. While he appreciated all your looks and sides, he loved seeing you smiling and happy, and if that meant spending all this money for you to get pampered, he didn’t mind. He didn’t understand a lot of the words you used as you described what they did to your hair and nails, but he happily listened anyway, his delicate smile never faltering as you retold the whole chain of events. Even if his smile was often for show, when you were around it was never more genuine. He holds your hands in his larger, gloved ones as he looks over your nails, his fingers lightly tracing over the designs with an amused glimmer in his eyes. You were certainly something, and he intended to keep that bright light of yours shining.

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theerurishipper · 10 months

Text

This is just an unstructured, incoherent vent post, but I've seen a few posts recently about how Adrien would definitely forgive Marinette for keeping secrets from him because he loves her, or that he would blame himself for not noticing what was going on and not her. And those aren't wrong, per se, but this is what I mean by the show taking away Adrien's agency. Ultimately his choices are allowed only as far as they do not inconvenience Marinette or anyone else the narrative cares about, like Felix or Nathalie. Which is why Adrien is not allowed to grow, he is not allowed to prioritize his own feelings and emotional needs. Any wrong done to him is resolved by him putting aside his own feelings to forgive the people who wronged him. And yes, he has been taught that his feelings don't matter by Gabriel and that he should bend over to the whims of everybody around him. And that kind of makes it worse, how the effect of Gabriel's abuse is used to convenience everyone around him. I think it's gross.

Just look at the Ladynoir conflict from Season 4. Adrien brings up his grievances with Ladybug's treatment of him a few times, but ultimately, he ends up putting it aside to focus on her emotional needs when she is at her lowest. Kuro Neko gave us the message that it wasn't that Ladybug was treating Chat Noir unfairly, but that Chat Noir should stop expecting to be treated with respect and should stop having emotional needs. And at the end of Strikeback, nothing is resolved, Ladybug hasn't apologized to him or resolved to do better by him, but he still shows up to her side to comfort her. No, she didn't apologize to him. She admitted her mistakes but did little to correct them even after the fact. That whole arc ended with Chat Noir being treated poorly over and over, and yet coming back to Ladybug's side because he's such a good partner and he loves her so much.

And Adrien, a character who has been forced his whole life to bend to the whims of others to please them at his expense is doing the same thing to Ladybug. Adrien exhibiting this behavior is 100% a trauma response. Ladybug is supposed to be his escape from his abusive homelife. And yet, the show writes him falling back into his trauma responses with her (Kuro Neko) and does jack shit to portray it as a bad thing. And the Season 4 finale is once again Adrien putting aside his feelings and showing up to support her. Adrien's emotions are not validated, they are tossed aside. Ladybug admitted her mistakes as she did several times through Season 4, but she still did little to correct them. That admission in Strikeback doesn't do much, because we never see her do anything to fix her mistakes after that. What happened was that Chat Noir saw her in distress and decided his feelings were unimportant because she needed support.

This is not healthy. Adrien should not be invalidating his own feelings so that he can offer comfort to others. He shouldn't forget and forgive so quickly without the other person doing anything to correct their behavior towards him. Once again, this is how Gabriel has taught him to behave, to stop "being so emotional" and to conform to his expectations. And Adrien continuously downplays his own issues for others' sake. And obviously, we would understand that he can heal from this, that he can learn to take care of his own emotional needs first.

And quite frankly, all the posts about how we shouldn't want Adrien and Marinette to break up, or how we shouldn't be so hard on Marinette, or that she is just a child in tough situation, or that she is doing it out of love and that Adrien would forgive her kinda make my point. Because let's be real. What Marinette did is a serious breach of trust. I do not understand how anyone could forgive something like that quickly. And I understand why she did it. I don't think she is a bad person or anything like that. But it's still an awful thing to do. And frankly, I don't see how Adrien could just... instantaneously forgive her without invalidating and downplaying his own pain and hurt. If he did, I would seriously question his self-worth. And while I don't think Adrien would never forgive Marinette or that he would stop loving her, frankly, I would like to see more acknowledgement of his feelings and his emotional needs both from the fandom and the show. I would like to see that his feelings matter, that he is allowed to be angry and that he is allowed to hold people accountable and call them out. I would like for him to not forgive some people. I would like for him to require distance and space from them. That would be development for Adrien, to let himself be emotional and not feel the need to put his own needs aside for others.

But for Adrien to prioritize himself, it would mean acknowledging the harmful things characters like Marinette have done to him. And that can't happen, because all the purpose Adrien serves is as a plot device to connect Marinette to Gabriel, and actually having her be held accountable by the narrative for her choices is a big no no. Growth for Adrien would mean that he lets himself be angry at Marinette for how she kept secrets from him, never apologized for it, and ultimately ended up keeping the greatest secret of all from him about his father and the fact that he is a Sentimonster. But as the writing to this point shows, Marinette isn't a safe space for him where he is allowed to be himself. She is someone who also elicits his trauma responses from him. He doesn't let himself be angry with her, he always puts himself last when it comes to her.

I am not saying Marinette is in any way comparable to Gabriel. She is nowhere as bad as him, she does not come close to that in any way. Marinette is a good person. But what she did in the finale, is explicitly something that Gabriel wanted her to do. Gabriel wanted to continue to dictate his son's emotions and perceptions, and Marinette helped him do it. That's not a healthy relationship. And looking at all the Marinette-Gabriel parallels in Season 5... it's not a good look at all. The show portrays Adrien as someone who has been denied autonomy his whole life, and as someone who is expected to cater to the desires of the people around him and be perfect for them while neglecting his emotional needs, and made his arc one of finding independence and his own identity and learning that his feelings and desires matter. But also, they only matter as far as they don't inconvenience Marinette. Adrien shouldn't downplay his feelings, but if doing so would help Marinette, then he should do it actually. And it's hard for me not to see it as Ladybug benefitting from his trauma from his abusive home. It sounds harsh, but that's how it feels.

And all the talk of how Adrien would never hate Marinette and that he would forgive her is... disappointing to me. Because I don't necessarily disagree, but it still is about prioritizing Marinette's feelings over Adrien's. What is focused on is not how Adrien might feel betrayed, but how Marinette might feel sad about Adrien feeling betrayed by her, and reinforces that Adrien is so good because he would not hold it against her. Even though he should, even though it means he would be downplaying his pain massively if he didn't blame her for that. If Adrien's character should develop, he should be allowed to realize that he has the right to get angry and that he doesn't have to downplay his emotions or feel like it's all his fault. He should be allowed to do that without people jumping to Marinette's defense and excusing her of blame.

Throughout the series, Adrien has been the person to help Ladybug through her problems, and the narrative has never allowed her to do the same for him. And I want to see focus on Adrien for a change. I want to see someone other than Plagg reassuring him and supporting him, especially his partner. I want to see the narrative be less about "oh, Adrien would never hold anything against Marinette because he loves her and would understand her always," and be more "actually Adrien is allowed to prioritize his feelings and want distance from Marinette after she betrayed him in such a personal way." That would be development. That would be reclaiming his agency. That would be free will and autonomy. I would like to see focus on this in the show and the fandom.

Adrien is not obligated to forgive Marinette. He is not obligated to understand her reasonings for why she did what she did. He is allowed to be angry at her and express his hurt because of her actions. Seasons 4 and 5 have regrettably established Marinette as someone else who denies Adrien's agency and around whom he reverts back to his fawning trauma response, and quite frankly the best thing for him to do would be to break up with her and go find himself on his own terms. I want his character to develop and grow, and unfortunately, Seasons 4 and 5 proved to me that it would not be possible as long as he is around Marinette, both from a character and narrative standpoint.

I just wish people would acknowledge and validate Adrien's perspective and feelings more. Even if it means calling out Marinette. Gabe is Adrien's abuser but he isn't the only one who has hurt Adrien in the story. Marinette is an incredible and amazing person but as far as we've reached in the show, she is hurting Adrien. And she has done many things across these two seasons that violate Adrien's trust. It's not even that this is a mistake she could learn from, but that she has done several such things over and over. From keeping secrets about the Miraculous holders' identities even though Hawkmoth himself knew, to Rena Furtive, to trying to trick him into an identity reveal in Ephemeral, and now keeping the fact that he is a Sentimonster and that Gabe is Monarch from him. It's gone from secret keeping to outright lying to him. It is not healthy. And it is a sign of stagnation and regression in Adrien's growth if he continues to keep forgiving her over and over again despite her never fixing her behavior.

If Adrien's arc is about finding autonomy, then he cannot be with someone who is complicit in denying him the ability to make his own choices. If Marinette was supposed to be the knight in shining armor, they shouldn't have given her the key to the tower and have her hide it away. If she was supposed to save him, they shouldn't have had her condemn him further. If Marinette was supposed to be the one who helped Adrien regain his self worth, the person whom he could trust and rely on the most, they shouldn't have made her side with Gabe, deny Adrien his agency, and violate his trust so many times.

It didn't have to be written this way, but these were the decisions made by the writers. They chose to portray Marinette like this for no discernable reason and refused to acknowledge it or deal with it meaningfully. Adrienette is so profoundly unhealthy now that if Adrien's character is to grow, the only way for him to do that is to break up with Marinette. But the show has also made it very clear that Adrien is only a plot device and a trophy for Marinette at the end. So I have no doubt that all will be forgiven in a matter of minutes, and the narrative will praise Adrien for being traumatized and denying his own emotional needs to comfort Marinette as she feels bad for hurting him. And it's sad, but I guess it is what it is.

#MLB #Meta #My meta #S5 Finale #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Fandom Salt #Marinette Salt #Not really but tagging to be safe #Ladynoir conflict

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delicateflowerss · 1 year

Text

Don't Worry, Darling: Three

After marrying the love of your life, Rafe Cameron, you thought you couldn't be happier. But when a murder shakes the island, you learn you don't know your husband as well as you thought. When does Paradise become Hell?

Warnings: 18+, eventual NON-CON, verbal/domestic abuse, dark!Rafe, mentions of murder, mentions of pregnancy/having kids, kook!reader, non-canon ages

Word Count: 3.9k

Series Masterlist

“So, let’s go over that again. You left the office around 11:30, correct?”

Shoupe’s stare is set on Rafe, almost like he’s waiting for your husband to blink at him wrong, anything to show he isn’t telling the truth.

“It was around that time. I don’t remember exactly.”

You can tell Rafe is fighting the urge to tell the police to fuck off, given the heavy annoyance lacing his tone. You worry he might, his impulse control only lasting so long.

Their incessant questions don’t help, going over every detail of the night Rafe last saw Chase alive.

It’s a strong case of déjà vu for you, Shoupe and the same officer as last time, sitting in the exact same spot on your couch. Except, you can feel the gravity of the situation now. A man you know has been killed.

“And nothing struck you as odd about Chase that night? All he said was bye as he was leaving?”

“That’s all I remember. How many times do I have to tell you I barely saw him that night?”

Whatever Rafe was holding back, he isn’t anymore, his anger getting the best of him. It doesn’t sit right with either officer, their meaningful glances toward each other telling you more than they’ll ever say.

As your eyes rake over your husband, you don’t know why he seems nervous, unable to stop the shake in his leg.

You reach your hand out, the denim of his pants rough under your skin as you stop the uneasy movement.

“I think what Rafe is trying to say, is he’s answered all of your questions, more than once,” you placate. “You seem to be wanting an answer he just doesn’t have.”

Rafe watches you, an appreciation shining in his eyes that he wouldn’t know how to voice to you.

“We would love to help any way we can. But he’s told you everything he knows.”

Shoupe mulls over your words, seeming almost annoyed that you’re making a good point.

“Fine,” he concedes, looking over both you and Rafe. “But if there’s anything you could possibly think of, you know where to find us,” he adds, standing up.

“Of course,” you reply, showing them the way out.

“It’s important to us you find whoever did this,” you say, giving Rafe a pointed look, motioning toward the officers, needing him to show his support.

When he spots this, he nods. “Catch this guy before something else happens. Don’t put our tax dollars to waste.”

He keeps his eyes on Shoupe, his mouth fighting a smirk.

You don’t understand the exchange between the two men, Shoupe’s stare also heavy.

“That’s what we’re trying to do,” Shoupe finally retorts after a few tense moments. He’s the first one to look away, nodding toward you. “Have a good day, Mrs. Cameron.”

Once they’re gone, your eyes find your husband, brows pulled together.

“What was that about?” You ask, trying to find an explanation for his rude behavior.

“What?” Now his unpleasant mood is aimed at you, lips parted, brows matching yours, and you almost regret saying anything. “He’s wasting his time with me. He’s wasting my time. He could actually be out there, catching the person who did it.”

You take in his explanation, arms crossed, eyes glancing to the floor before meeting his.

“I get it. But they’re just doing their job,” you explain. “I mean Chase was murdered, Rafe. You know, the guy you used to see at work every day and liked to invite us over for dinner.”

You try to make it clear to him why he should think about someone besides himself.

He swallows at that, now it’s him who can’t meet your gaze.

You sigh, deciding it’s best to drop it. You know how Rafe is, how difficult it is for him to not only process his own emotions, but others as well.

You step closer, your hand finding his by his side, fingers threading together. You feel the cool touch of his gold, signet ring against your warm skin, along with his wedding ring.

He doesn’t move away, and you can’t help but think he looks like a scolded little boy as he finally looks up at you, hair failing into his eyes.

“I know this has been a lot for you,” you start. “You know you can always talk to me. About anything.”

You watch him, hoping he’ll finally open up to you about this whole situation.

Instead, he just nods, his hand falling from yours before he walks to the kitchen, finding his phone.

You have to stop yourself from sighing, showing your disappointment.

“I talked to my dad earlier,” he calls out, walking toward you with his phone in his hand. “He wants us over for dinner on Sunday. Something about wanting everyone together since Sarah’s back for the summer,” he mumbles the last part, and you can tell he’s trying his hardest not to roll his eyes.

“Oh, that should be nice. We haven’t been over there in a while.” You keep your tone optimistic, hoping it will influence his own outlook.

But by the look on Rafe’s face, it’s not working. He seems more distracted than anything else.

“I gotta take this,” he holds his phone up, excusing himself to his office upstairs.

You’re more than aware of Rafe’s strained relationship with his family. Part of you wants to tell him to forget about his father, thinking it would be best for him to release himself from the shackles of desperately vying for his father’s approval.

But you also know that this house didn’t pay for itself. Even if the name Cameron holds weight in certain places, you’d be lying if you said Rafe could get a job anywhere, especially as good as the one he has now.

You thought Rafe having to work for his father could only help the relationship, and it does seem like they’re friendlier to each other, Ward seeing his son as somewhat competent. But the pressure still lies on Rafe to be good enough.

So, all you can do is keep the peace.

Maybe you have your own motives to keep things nice between Rafe and his family. Sometimes, they feel like the only family you have, even if it’s a bit dysfunctional.

You’re an only child, and your parents decided when you moved out that they were going to spend most of their time on vacation, seeing the world they didn’t get to when you were growing up.

Right now, they’re on a Caribbean cruise, the last time you saw them being your wedding.

You miss them, but you don’t really blame them. Maybe you’ll feel the same one day, when your own children are grown up and married.

They were always extremely supportive of your relationship with Rafe, never seeing any issues. Their happiness at the possibility of their daughter marrying into the Cameron’s blinded them.

You’re glad they didn’t see the things you saw because they might not have been as forgiving. You saw firsthand how hard Rafe worked to clean up his addiction, and to stop the tendency to get into fights with Pogues.

But you wonder if they had known, would they have even batted an eye?

JJ doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to sitting in your kitchen. He thinks you’re only pretending not to notice how much he stands out, because you never seem bothered by it. You just smile as you hand him an ice-cold drink. This time, it’s iced tea.

You were folding laundry when you heard JJ slip into the backyard. This time, he didn’t put up a fight, letting you invite him in.

“So,” you say, sitting across from him at the kitchen table. “I heard Sarah’s back for the summer. Is she still with John B?”

“I thought you were her sister-in-law or whatever, wouldn’t you know?” He asks, taking a long sip of his drink.

“Yeah, well, Rafe and Sarah don’t really talk.”

JJ raises his eyebrows, humming, an understanding washing over his face.

“They’re still together. She’s over at The Chateau almost every day now,” he answers.

You smile, nodding. “So, you still see your friends a lot?”

You were pretty removed from the people Sarah started hanging out with during her high school years. They were younger…and they were Pogues. But you cared about her enough to want to know about her friends.

You also knew them for other reasons, ones having to do with a dumb rivalry stemming from your husband’s hatred of Pogues.

You never got to know any of them, talking to John B the most out of all of them.

Until now.

“Yeah. Everyone’s doing their own thing now, but we get together all the time,” he casually says.

“I’m glad to hear that. I remember you all being so close.”

“Hm.” He stops, his brow furrowing. “You remember that before or after we would get the shit kicked out of us by Rafe?”

Your smile falters, eyes finding the surface of the table.

Before you can say anything, he continues, “but he’s different now. So, I should just forget about it.”

Sarcasm drips from his tone, using your own words against you. He raises his eyebrows again, taking another sip, making his point.

“I never said you should forget about it,” you scoff. “I know what Rafe did was wrong. Do you hold what he did against Sarah too?”

“You can’t choose your family,” he shrugs. “I mean she barely talks to him as it is. You married him.” He pauses, blue eyes staring into you. “That means you looked at all that, and thought, I want to be with this guy for the rest of my life.”

He immediately begins to feel bad when you frown. He sighs, realizing he took it too far.

“I’m sorry, okay?” He apologizes bluntly. “You seem nice and all, I just can’t trust someone who’s married to Rafe Cameron,” JJ explains.

“You don’t have to trust me,” you level with him. “And I can apologize for all of Rafe’s wrongdoings over and over again, because I am sorry. But is that really going to make you feel better?”

He looks to his lap, bottom lip between his teeth. He knows you’re being sincere, your eyes genuinely curious.

“You’re right, there’s no point in holding it against you,” he admits quietly.

You nod, taking a moment before saying, “Good, because I actually like talking to you, for some reason,” you add the last part with a smile on your face.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that to me before,” he says with a smile, the same joking tone.

You’ve been to Tannyhill more times than you could count, and it never fails to impress you.

Rafe has told you more than once, usually when he has a few drinks in him, that one day it will be “ours.” You think it’s somewhat morbid that he’s waiting for the day his father can’t physically have it anymore. But you also can’t help but feel a glimmer of anticipation about being able to call it yours.

As you walk side by side, you can feel the nervousness radiating off of Rafe, even if he tries his hardest to stamp it down.

You say his name, stopping a few feet from the front door, turning toward him.

He looks at you, a question in his eyes.

Before he can say anything, you bring your hands to his firm chest, smoothing out the black polo shirt he’s wearing. You feel him let out a sigh.

“Babe-.”

You cut him off with a kiss, lashes fluttering against his cheek.

“I just wanted to do that before we went in there,” you quietly say against his lips when you break apart.

You get your satisfaction when his lips turn up into a smile.

But your attention is quickly moved when you hear the door creak open.

“Dad said to get the door,” Wheezie says timidly, eyes shifting around.

You meet Rafe’s eyes again, both of you hiding your laughs.

“Hi, Wheezie,” you greet, walking into the cool air of the house.

You hear Rafe say the same right behind you, shutting the door.

“Are you still taking me shopping before Midsummers?” She doesn’t waste a second to excitedly ask you. “Sarah’s too busy and I’d rather go with you than Rose.”

She grimaces at the mention of her stepmother.

“I’ve been looking forward to it. Why don’t we go sometime this week?”

You don’t notice how Rafe watches you make plans with his little sister, an indescribable emotion swimming in his blue eyes.

“We were wondering when you’d get here,” a booming voice announces.

Ward walks into the room with a grin on his face.

“How you doing, sweetheart?” he asks, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m doing good. Nice to see you, Ward,” you reply, still smiling.

As he steps away from you, you notice how Rafe shifts a little, standing up straighter.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Son,” is all Ward says, patting Rafe on the back, his smile more tight-lipped now.

They share a look, something wordless between them before Ward turns to you.

“Rose is in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. And Sarah should be down soon. I’m just going to borrow Rafe for a few minutes. I hope you don’t mind,” he checks with you, eyebrows raised.

“No, go ahead,” you nod, watching them head toward his office.

“I’ll go see what Sarah’s doing,” Wheezie says, also going upstairs, leaving you to wander into the kitchen.

It’s not uncommon for Ward to pull Rafe aside to have a conversation, usually about work. But the glance they gave each other was tense, a seriousness there that you don’t know the reason for.

“This looks delicious, Rose. You’ll have to give me the recipe,” you comment, staring at the sauce she’s stirring.

“My mother used to make this all the time. One of my favorites,” she remarks before being interrupted by Sarah barreling her way toward you.

“There’s my favorite sister-in-law,” she calls out, wrapping her arms around you.

“I’m your only sister-in-law,” you say, laughing, squeezing her back.

“Well, I still think if you really wanted to see me all the time, you didn’t have to marry Rafe to do it.” Amusement dances on her lips. “You could’ve saved yourself a lot of trouble,” she says, trying not to burst out laughing.

“What? You mean, I didn’t have to do that.” Your tone matches hers, and she’s the first one to laugh as you step away from the heat of the kitchen.

“So, tell me all about your first year at UNC?” You ask, eyes on her.

“It was good,” she says with a lack of truthfulness, her furrowed brow giving her away.

“Are you sure?”

She shakes her head, looking around to make sure she’s out of Rose’s earshot.

“I don’t know. I’m just not sure if college is for me,” Sarah says quietly. You nod and she continues, “I just would rather be doing something else with my life. Not being stuck in a classroom with a bunch of other rich kids who are just going to end up working for their fathers.”

You raise your eyebrows, the implication of her words not lost on you.

“Sorry,” she draws back. “That was harsh.”

“No, I get it. You want something different.”

“Yeah. And I want to be with people I actually like.”

“Like John B?”

An involuntary smile makes her lips twitch as she looks down, her cheeks turning rosy.

“Yes, like John B,” she admits, not fighting her smile anymore. “And before you say anything, I know what it sounds like,” she pauses, staring directly at you. “But I won’t be dropping out of college for a boy. It’s for a lot of reasons.”

“I mean, even if that were the case. I can’t really judge you, can I?” You ask, thinking of your own past, and how picking a school was completely dependent on Rafe. “I think you should do what makes you happy.”

“Can you explain that to my dad now?” She jokes, but her smile is appreciative, like it’s all she needed to hear.

Rafe didn’t say much by the time he came back from his dad’s office, just sitting down for dinner like everyone else. You want to ask him about it, but you know it’s best to let him tell you first.

You all eat under incandescent lighting from the chandelier, shining off the silverware and fine china. There has been slight small talk, but things shift when Ward clears his throat from the head of the table, setting down his fork.

“I just want to say, how grateful I am to have the whole family here, together. The year’s not even close to over, and I don’t know if I can express how proud I am.”

Emotion seeps through his words as his eyes rake over the table, everyone intently listens.

“Sarah just completed her first year at college, with straight A’s,” he adds, his smile only growing bigger. Sarah returns the expression, but you can see the slight insincerity to it.

“We also, officially, welcomed Y/N to the family. Of course, I would say she’s been part of this family for years.”

You sheepishly smile, catching Rafe’s eye.

“And Rafe,” he pauses, staring at his son. “Rafe has been working very hard in his position at Cameron Development. Harder than almost anyone, and I’m not just saying that.” He laughs a little. “That’s why, I’ve decided to make him Cameron Development’s new Chief Operating Officer.”

Your lips part with surprise, quickly turning into a smile as you put an arm around Rafe’s shoulders, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper, catching the happiness in his eyes.

“I won’t let you down,” he tells his dad.

Wheezie smiles, thinking it must be a big deal, Sarah doesn’t look impressed, and Rose just casually sips her wine.

“Now, I’m not saying I’m expecting any, but maybe an announcement about a grandchild before the end of the year would be nice,” Ward says, half-jokingly.

Your first instinct is to tense up, even if you try not to, your arm moving so just your palm lies on Rafe’s back.

“I think that very well could happen,” Rafe practically promises.

Your face falls a little, trying to keep a sense of lightheartedness in your voice.

“Well, maybe not this year.”

Rafe turns to you at that, giving you a look only you can see. But he bites his tongue from saying anything.

Ward doesn’t push further, saying he’s happy as long as he gets a grandchild. But the damage is done, Rafe not meeting your eyes for the rest of dinner.

Another silent car ride, this time, you can feel the minutes pass by. Rafe doesn’t say a word to you, and honestly, you’re grateful, knowing you don’t want to argue while he’s behind the wheel.

You dread the moment you get home, but at this point, you should be angrier than he is.

He’s still not talking to you when you get home, setting his things down before going upstairs.

He’s almost casual in his actions, but you can tell by the tightness of his jaw and how he can’t look at you, that he’s upset.

You follow him upstairs, repeating his name.

“Rafe,” you call out. “You’re going to have to talk to me. You can’t just give me the silent treatment.”

You find him in the bedroom you two share, slipping off his shoes.

He finally looks at you, and his eyes are ablaze.

“Did you have to say that?” He bitterly asks.

“Say what? The truth?” Your tone matches his. “I just don’t understand why you’re mad. Do you really not want your family to know we’re waiting?”

His teeth sink into his bottom lip, like he doesn’t believe what you’re saying.

“It’s embarrassing, Y/N,” he spits out.

“Embarrassing?” You ask, unsure if you heard him correctly. “It’s embarrassing that your wife gets to decide when she wants to have a baby?”

“That’s not what I meant.” He shakes his head but doesn’t explain further.

“Then what do you mean?” You press.

“It-It’s embarrassing that it looks like we’re not on the same page,” he finally explains, flexing his fingers.

“I agree, Rafe. Then why did you say that? Why did you agree with him when you know I want to wait?”

“Exactly. You want to wait.”

You’re left speechless by his implication, lip almost trembling while you take in his words. This is the first time you’re hearing of this, but you realize certain comments you brushed off might have meant he wanted a baby sooner than later.

“Honestly, it sounds like you don’t want kids at all,” he continues. His face is twisted up, pacing back and forth away from you.

“What?” You ask, your brows knitted together. “I do, you know I do. I just want to be able to grow my career before we have any. You know that.”

“What career?”

You start to feel your chest getting tighter.

“What?”

“You sit at a computer a few times a week. How is that stopping you from having a baby?”

You can feel your eyes starting to sting, not being able to remember a time where Rafe said something so hurtful to you.

“Rafe…” You start.

He shrugs his shoulders. “It sounds like an excuse to me.”

You shake your head, eyes getting glassy.

“Just because you got promoted, doesn’t mean you get to tell me my job doesn’t mean anything.” Rage runs through your voice. “And I hate to say it, but you only have that job for one reason. At least I got my job through my own hard work.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, regret fills you.

Somehow his eyes harden even more as he steps closer to you.

“You mean the job you barely get any money from?” He asks, getting closer until you have no choice but to step back, your body hitting the wall behind you. “Remind me, who paid for this house? Or for your clothes? Or for-for that stupid soap you insist on ordering from France?”

He’s almost spitting in your face as you feel your shoulders dig into the wall.

“Who paid for all of that?” His voice is loud as he asks again, his fingers still flexing and unflexing as you look up at him with tearful eyes.

It feels like an eternity before you answer.

“Your father,” you rasp out.

You watch in fear as he takes a step back from you, his breathing getting rougher before his fist collides with the wall next to your head.

You flinch, moving your face away as you feel his arm almost graze you.

Tears fall freely from your eyes as he tries to steady his breathing, glancing at his red knuckles.

Finally, you see the realization hit him, his eyes softening at your cowering figure right next to the hole in the wall he made.

“Y/N-.” He begins, stepping closer to you.

“Don’t,” you yell, holding up a hand and stopping him.

He tries to say something, but you speak instead.

“Just go away,” you urge him, and after a moment, he does, leaving you at the scene of the crime.

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#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #obx #outer banks #dark!rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader

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therantingsage · 2 months

Text

Misc additional observations/notes relating to the implication analysis post that I either forgot to add or omitted for pacing reasons.

This one's embarrassing to admit, but I literally did not remember this until the post was done and posted:

N being bad at keeping things to himself is literally the first thing we learn about him when he starts talking. "Inclusive reflexes" isn't what teaches Uzi this, it's literally the first thing she finds out about his character, so she has no excuse. There is no plausible deniability she knows her boyfriend can't keep secrets.

((Unrelated to anything but since I'm talking about the pilot like. Why does he fan himself here. Dude you don't even have feelings for her yet bro what's this about. Guy who really likes strong personalities I guess))

N's tiny little smile in Promening when Uzi admits to wanting his help. He's like, critically underappreciated by the people around him before this so Uzi reaching out to him here must be so meaningful to him. He wants to be helpful and she's letting him be.

And Uzi, too, despite being stubborn about it. N being so eager to offer help in the first place isn't something she's used to, either. I'm pretty sure the (correct) general consensus is that this is the episode she falls for him, and honestly all the blushing has very little to do with why I think that's the case.

Because, like...no one really bothered even pretending to get along with her. Like, aside from Thad, but that's for like one scene total before N enters the picture, and Uzi's "how do you know my name, people willingly talk to you" implies to me that they didn't have a lot of, if any, meaningful interactions before that point anyway. And then here comes N, who despite how they'd parted, doesn't even seem upset with her. They both spent their time apart terrified of things being bad between them....but it all just melts away when they reunite and the mutual genuine concern shines through. It's great.

N maybe has fragments of memories of life at the manor, not a lot, but he probably has the vague sense that people used to be nicer to him in general. So it's not as foreign to him. Uzi does not have that luxury so having N be so enthusiastically in her corner definitely touches her heart. And it shows through in how she interacts with him in this episode.

There's lots and lots of little moments in Cabin Fever that I like but this tiny sheepish blush is a funny one. Like he just. Alluded to talking about her. And that flusters her for some reason. We have no idea how much time has actually passed since the last episode but its clear from how little it takes for this reaction to happen that her feelings have grown stronger. She likes him and its cute.

This scene is one I want to talk about in more detail, though. Home establishes that V still has faint lingering feelings for N, so it's not that hard to assume that her behavior here is at least partially motivated by jealousy. She's petty and vindictive and jealous...but most importantly she's perceptive.

Uzi has abandonment issues, which I think is easy enough to understand so I'm not going to elaborate on it. But V figured that out, and makes this threat with the knowledge that Uzi is worried about being abandoned. Uzi fears the idea that she wouldn't be missed if she disappeared, and here comes V, claiming that the one person she cares most about wouldn't care either. Hitting her where it hurts, trying to convince her that her fears are justified and inevitable.

It's likely that this moment contributes to her eventually going feral. That the stress overheats her faster.

She's incredibly vulnerable, when she snaps out of it. Shares that specific fear with N, who reassures her. Because this whole scene is him telling her that no, he wouldn't be able to just get over it if she was gone, because their brief time apart in this single episode was already something that scared him. That she's already become important enough to him that her absence was keenly felt.

It's probably around here, or a bit after this point in the nebulous timeskip between this episode and the next, that N falls for her. Scratch that, his whole speech, as I said in the prior post, just...really feels like some kind of romantic-adjacent confession. But I don't think it WAS explicitly them confessing feelings for each other. N figures out he likes her in this episode I'd like to think, but that speech was the closest he could come to admitting that. Cuz. Y'know. Uzi needs reassurance in other ways right now, no point in muddying the issue.

((and also not news to anybody I'm sure but the song that plays during that scene is LITERALLY called 'Falling...for you??' so. y'know. hindsight is 20/20 this is genuinely the moment he realizes his feelings for her are romantic))

And additional thing I like that I think about a lot, but the way he deliberately choses to switch his hands to claws when he pries her wings open. "I'm a monster, leave me be" she says, to which he replies "Hey, look, I am too, see? It's ok". It's great, he's mirroring, trying to make her feel seen. And by the vulnerability of her next line, it works. They really just, understand each other so damn well.

Home stuff. The fact that the first word that comes to mind to describe him is 'cute' is funny enough, but the fact that she even goes so far as to SAY it out loud before hastily correcting herself. Looking at her bf's baby pictures-coded. Has to keep her image up tho, this version doesn't know her so she can't be too weird or open about it.

But she still wants this version to think she's cool cuz she's a dork who likes him. It's unclear how much of this episode is diegetic when you subtract Uzi, but since these are memories and not proper time travel, we don't know to what extent Uzi's trying to avoid affecting the events. She might not care at all. Did the real N even go down to that basement willingly at any point? I doubt it. But we don't know! And also that's not what I'm making this post to talk about.

Funny Solvercam-Uzi body language on display. Delighted he recognizes her finally, spits out something edgy to play it cool (genuinely my favorite Uzi line of all time), sheepishly looks back at him, and shyly averts her gaze when he thanks her before looking back. Had she her regular face I'm sure she'd be smiling and blushing about it. It's cute as hell. It's very open delight, when you think about it. But still awkwardly teenage. It's easy to see this and have it make a whole lotta sense if they were already dating at this point. Got that meaningful eye contact going on. She likes making him happy so she's proud she succeeded.

Him trying to help steady her when they land. She blushes and slaps his hand away like 'dude I'm fine people are LOOKING at us stoooooop >:('

Her tail chewing on him is fine tho because we don't know if she controls it fully or if it does things subconsciously. And also the others aren't actually looking at them in this shot. Neither of them make the tail stop chewing so at the very least N doesn't mind.

Still flustered easily when he shows her he cares tho. Early-relationship 'hehehe he likes meeee' moment, adorable. Still clearly giddy that someone cares about her.

He's so conflicted after 'Tessa' tells him Uzi needs to die. He loves her, he loves her so so much, but Tessa is his oldest friend. All the memories he has of her paint a picture of someone he's supposed to listen to. Someone he can trust. Someone who wouldn't lie to him. He spends the rest of this episode bracing himself for a goodbye he doesn't want to give and its heartbreaking.

And despite his fear...Uzi still manages to comfort him the best way she knows how. And it gets him to smile! Because that's what the two of them are to each other. He's scared...but she's with him, so its less scary.

They've both caught up to the moment. 'Oh. We're still holding hands while the other two can see oh god'. They're both tight-lipped. She bumps him and they let go, maybe N thinks 'oh, right, yeah, not in public' but then they hold hands again but with intent this time.

And once again, it gets N to smile! And a second later Uzi does too! Awkward little moment of intimacy that must be so refreshing for them because there's so much heavy stuff happening but now they get to be distracted thinking about something lower-stakes.

To me, this bit is an interesting parallel to the Cabin Fever falling scene. He tends to be pretty perceptive about Uzi's worries. He's a good listener. Uzi fears abandonment, he fires back with a promise to stay with her.

But here, the thing Uzi fears is that things are being kept from her. That these two are keeping secrets from her. But instead of assuring her that they'll talk later, like they said they would, he instead chooses to use this moment to put his foot down with 'Tessa'. He just lost V maybe, and he's not willing to lose Uzi too, so he's decided she must be wrong about this being the only solution to the problem.

Up until that very moment, she didn't realize hurting her was on the table. It comes out of nowhere, freaks her out, and confirms her fear that she's not being told something. So she runs.

And the guilt he feels for scaring her off is heartbreaking. Half this episode is limb-chopping, genuinely, so the fact that he chooses this bone-saw to cut himself free instead of the litany of other things he has that he knows are quicker can't be a coincidence. He's punishing himself. And, additionally, probably reminding himself of V, hiding things because he worries the truth will hurt. Which makes the V hologram showing up moments later thematically very appropriate.

Can't add anymore pictures to this so maybe I'll make a part three later lol

#Murder Drones #Nuzi #biscuitbites #md N #md Uzi #Uzi Doorman #These aren't as vital to my point last time but I still think about them

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kindestegg · 1 year

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Collector, Hunter and Caleb: On cycles of violence

Baby titans. Flapjack. Evelyn. What do they all have in common?

If you guessed "they were key components in making a character question what they've been told and pursue a new life, kickstarting major events", you're correct!

Hi, I'm Romeo the local Collector obsessed TOH fan!! And I REALLY need to talk about how Collector's backstory parallels Hunter's and Caleb's. Like I REALLY REALLY do.

Just as a quick disclaimer, if you're still feeling lost on Collector's backstory, I made a quick write up of my analysis for it here.

Now, if you're up to speed, we can start talking about the parallels. You see, I feel Collector's backstory is so fascinating because it really solidifies one of the recurring themes of The Owl House: cycles of violence.

Specifically, I want to talk about cycles of violence that aren't easily changed or broken. Societal ones, ones that worm themselves into the very norms of conduct that inform a certain people's behavior.

For Caleb, that was being a witch hunter, something that not only do we know was part of the local culture of Gravesfield back when he and Philip came to it, but that also apparently by Philip's memories, was even something he looked forward to.

I'm not going to get into how this ties into historical, real life witch hunting, because I feel it's hardly appropriate I, as someone who's not that well versed on such history, go into it in a theory post about a Disney cartoon.

But even in this fantasy world, the fact of that matter is that this witch hunting was enacting a system of organized violence. Children were brought up since early on to act out witch hunts, to understand witches were enemies and should be hunted. The othering of witches, the insistence of them as monstrous and inhuman. All this must have led to the witch hunting culture of Gravesfield.

And Caleb and Philip were deep in it.

Now, we know how the story goes. Both brothers go to the demon realm, meet a witch. Caleb gives it all an earnest chance, resolves himself to learn about how witches really are, and humanizes them, even possibly falling in love with a witch, who we now know as Evelyn. Philip despises it all from the start, refuses to ever see the place as anything but damned and monstrous.

From this, Caleb and Philip become symbols of opposing forces: That of change, a break in the status quo, a shining light of questioning why things are and calling for peace VS That of tradition, the desperate want to keep the cycle going, inability to envision anything different than has ever been, to question the old teachings.

Each fought for what they believed in. But Caleb lost and the cycle continued, evolved.

In the real world it is much of the same. Change happens gradually, but even when it does, the cycle does not break easily, it evolves into something else.

Philip's hunt turns to the entirety of the Boiling Isles. He creates the Coven System, to get rid of all witches, yes, but also to keep them easier to control, predictable. He becomes Emperor, and now there is a new system of control, a new cycle of violence.

The Emperor's Coven is suspiciously the only one allowed to use all kinds of magic, a way to assert this authority as well as making recruiting Coven Scouts easier. Witches who do not conform to the system are captured and petrified en masse, the Coven Scouts ensure all witches and demons must fall in line, or else. The parallels to our world and state forces used to control the population is not something that goes unnoticed.

Hunter is part of the Emperor's Coven, too. He's placed as the Golden Guard, the most important symbol of the Emperor's Coven, a substitute for Lilith once she reforms. As such, Hunter too starts out by enforcing a system of violence, just as Caleb did before.

The cycle even more glaringly becomes a cycle now, as Belos literally keeps making grimwalkers and restarting the cycle of the golden guard. Belos enforces the cycle of violence, and hopes this "new Caleb" will do it too, and every time he attempts to break it, Belos breaks him first. In a way, there are two cycles of violence at play: that of which is systemically mantained over the Isles, and that of which Belos mantains over Hunter and every other grimwalker he's made.

Hunter, of course, eventually defects as well. He meets Luz, Flapjack, and then Willow and Gus and when he knows it, he's got a whole lot of people he cares about and that care about him. And he becomes a little less willing to carry out the system of violence he was placed in every day. Until he defects for good.

So the cycle breaks once more, but this time, Belos doesn't catch up to him, at least not yet. In the present, Hunter is still surrounded by friends and a loving mother figure. He was part of breaking the cycle, of at least helping stop the Day of Unity. Change is starting.

So where does Collector fit into all of this? Well I'd first like to address the elephant in the room. For a character whose backstory also involves breaking cycles of violence he sure was aiding in one, by giving Belos the draining spell and encouraging the creation of the coven system. But that's just another aspect of cycles of violence.

Because cycles of violence don't just imply systemic violence or even violence perpetrated through constant abuse. But also, the cyclical nature of violence. The ability that someone who has grown up with violence normalized and has had violence done unto them can then channel that into violence towards others.

Now, before I am misinterpreted, I'd like to make some things clear: One, I am not of the simple opinion that "abused people turn into abusers", that is an ugly myth. Two, I have been a victim of abuse myself, and am a psychology graduate. I feel confident speaking with authority about this subject. Third, there is a difference between the psychological concept of generational trauma and internalized violence and the idea that being abused will turn someone violent.

What I am implying here is that Collector's behavior of dismissing both the violence done unto the grimwalkers, as well as towards the victims of the draining spell is something that he has learned and internalized as normal due to his life experiences.

Recall if you will that Collector is a member of an alien species that has a high disregard for life. In the same breath that they will say they preserve creatures to study them, they will also attempt to destroy all that opposes them. Collector grew up with this violence being seen as normal. He was brought to meet the titan trappers and taught to wear the titan skulls, following in his family's footsteps.

But... just like Caleb and Hunter before them, they saw a different path they could take when it came to the titans. A way to approach them without violence. They gained an interest for titans, just like Hunter with wild magic, just like Caleb with the demon realm.

Once left alone to do so, they approached the titans, specifically young ones, close to their age. They played and maybe even learned some of their favorite games for the first time there.

They also became horribly traumatized.

Both Caleb and Hunter have suffered greatly as a consequence for their defiance. No system of violence lets itself be broken peacefully. Caleb had his life taken, so did all the grimwalkers. Hunter, while having escaped with a good support system, lost Flapjack.

For Collector, that came in the form of having to watch all the remaining titans he had so happily introduced himself to play with get killed off by his own family. We do not know the full logic of how or why his family did this, but we know it was brutal and we know the end result: King's egg alone and Collector in the disc, imprisoned for centuries.

Collector is a child, and if there was still any doubt in any fan's mind of this, For the Future stomped it out for good. Collector was a child when he had to watch his family kill off his new friends. He was a child when King's Father, likely in the middle of these attacks and motivated by it, sealed him away. He remained in stasis for centuries during this imprisonment.

I can only imagine that would really mess up any kid up. And through that, I think we can begin to understand what the mindset was for Collector when he took Philip up on his offer.

I've seen people be surprised by how friendly and childlike Collector acted in this latest episode when compared to his previous appearances in season 2, and I think we need to remember that Collector was in a much different condition back then. He had lost everything he cared about, got stuck in a prison for centuries with no one to talk to and no hope of anyone ever finding him, and when someone did find him, it was Philip fucking Wittebane.

And something I think most of us have already clocked about Philip is that he prefers the people he collaborates with to be vulnerable. Someone he can easily control, usually through their emotions and attachments.

We see this in Elsewhere and Elsewhen with his tendency to praise and lead Lilith and Luz on to get what he wants, knowing they need something out of this and are desperate.

We see this with Lilith, whom he uses the guilt of her sister being cursed to make her follow his every command and not question his rules.

We see this with every grimwalker including Hunter as they're told he was the one who "saved them and took them in".

We see this with Luz and how he leads her thoughts around in Hollow Mind to twist it in how she helped him unwittingly before.

And though his relationship with Kikimora and her schemes is more of an odd one, with him mostly paying her no mind, Follies at the Coven Day Parade at the very least touched on the fact her mental health at the Emperor's Coven is not doing well. She's also desperate for something and being led around by Belos' promises, even if that thing she's desperate for is... power. But er, we love an evil girlboss.

Look, what I'm trying to say is that Philip saw a child that had been horribly traumatized from seeing his friends die and then getting stuck in fantasy perpetual prison for centuries with no enrichment, no one to talk to, just eternal loneliness and sadness and he absolutely took advantage of it.

He used every single part of Collector's broken psyche to his advantage, including possibly withholding his freedom to interact with the outside world through the disc, shutting him up and cutting his vision whenever he might have wanted to.

And Collector, having grown up in an environment that encouraged killing everything in your way if necessary, having nothing else to lose because everything he could have cared about not killing was to his knowledge gone...

Absolutely took him up on the offer. And so, the cycle of violence is mantained, the one who had to witness such violence, unable to stop it, now carries out the same type of violence against others. Out of anger, maybe, but mostly out of desperation. For Collector, there's nothing left to do but do what Belos says, otherwise it's back to loneliness and darkness. And if Belos says "kill every last witch and demon in the Boiling Isles", he'll get that.

Collector's glee in this is not something that can be excused, however. It must be examined through the lens of understanding this is a bad thing, that this is a case study in how children internalize violence and learn to be not only compliant to it, but also even revel in it. He's gone from victim to perpetrator. Not because of any of the abuse or trauma he faced, but because of his environment creating the perfect conditions for it.

But that's when our heroes come in. The cycle of violence did not complete itself. The draining spell was stopped. And the way it was stopped is also incredibly powerful in its symbolism.

Because it was King who went out of his way to contact Collector and who freed him. King, a titan, the last of a species that was at war with the collectors, now extended a hand for our Collector to be free. Despite everything indicating that they should not find each other, should not be together, they came together to stop the Day of Unity.

In the Day of Unity being stopped by the Collector, so another cycle of violence is broken: that of titans and collectors being at odds with each other. In them is represented the hope for the future: two children who are free of the anger their species would hold for one another, now united in their wish for a better future.

When King decides Collector shouldn't be imprisoned again and insists to Lilith and Eda that they let him talk to them peacefully, that's him taking a step to break the cycle of violence. When King says "it didn't work" he's not just talking about the fact Collector could go free. He's talking about the fact imprisoning Collector was a violence done unto him that only brought about more danger and more violence, did not teach him anything, and doing so again could risk worse things to come.

When he says "it's worth a shot if no more people get hurt" he includes everyone in that equation. He includes Collector. And that's breaking the cycle of violence.

In a way, you could say if Belos and Collector's arcs as villains are both about stopping cycles of violence in different ways.

With Belos, he has spiraled down so deeply he has become the cycle itself, eating everything in the way and infecting everything, unable to live on without creating more violence onto others, and so he must be stopped by force if necessary. In this, The Owl House doesn't shy away from the fact that in the real world, sometimes you need to fight back, you cannot resolve everything peacefully, and breaking the cycle will involve hurting someone before they hurt more people.

But with Collector, another side is shown, one that reminds us that we must have nuance, and sometimes, we will be faced with the difficult reality that those doing violence unto others are also people who are hurting, who are lonely, who are sad. Specially children who have grown in environments where violence and prejudice was normalized. Sometimes children will be violent, will be bigoted, will repeat every little horrible thing the adults in their lives taught them. But they're still children. And they still deserve a chance to learn and a chance to grow.

It's about recognizing the difference between a young person who genuinely wants to learn and hasn't had the opportunity to, and someone who is not interested in this. Collector's backstory tells us he does have an interest in being good, he just needs the opportunity.

Collector isn't an easy character to approach like Hunter or Caleb. They do not have the benefit of starting off the narrative dead and buried, leaving the audience to assume mostly good things out of his deviation. Neither do they have Hunter's rebellious teenage bravado that allows him to show his defiance to Belos or his tragic fate of being a grimwalker binding him. They just are an alien child with immense power who tried once to deviate from the norm and then got the worst luck of the entire universe after them, and procceeded to become bitter and angry and absolutely sadistic afterwards.

But there's still good in them. And just like Caleb and Hunter, their efforts to break the cycle of violence they were raised in, as well as the efforts to denounce their fellow collectors will not go unnoticed.

#the owl house #toh analysis #toh theory #toh spoilers #toh collector #hunter toh #caleb wittebane #the collector #did you know i hit image limit with this post. i was gonna add more.#Commander's orders

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phoenixyfriend · 5 months

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the state of israel MUST be dismantled for a free palestine. jews existed and lived in ME before the existence of Israel, and jews will continue to live in ME but Israel as a state has to go. israel didnt bring the jews to ME.

See... the whole "Jews will continue to live" thing is what I'm not so sure of.

I understand where people are coming from when they talk about how Israel as a nation-state must be dismantled. It was established by outside forces, maintained by those outside forces, and has in past decades engaged in some truly heinous behavior.

However, that behavior was enacted by the government, which is not all of Israel, nor even all of the Jews in Israel. That government's behavior also reflects on those people of Israel, and any revenge against the government--which is likely if dismantled--is likely to land on the shoulders of the people of Israel who may not have anything to do with it.

There are pacifists and children in Israel, just as there are in Palestine. There are people protesting the conflict in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.

Over half of the Jews in Palestine are of a Mizrahi background, and either came to Israel from Arab countries that wanted them gone, or are the descendants of the people who did so. The establishment of Israel by the Sykes-Picot agreement resulted in many countries having a place to send their unwanted Jewish population to, and those countries now had the option of driving out, or at least 'encouraging,' those populations to leave. Operation Magic Carpet wasn't driven solely by the Imam of Yemen; Israel played its own role in it, as did the US and UK, but the result was a mass exodus of Jews. In 2022, there were a total of six Jews in Yemen. Now, there is only one.

Those Mizrahi Jews are also by and large not part of the Israeli government.

Many of the others in Israel are holocaust survivors, or the descendants of such.

It is not a stretch to say that Israel is, statistically, a country of refugees and their children.

Many of the powers most vocal about dismantling Israel are also the most vocally antisemitic. The most obvious example is the Yemeni Houthis, who have "death to all Jews" as a slogan. Hamas is aligned with them, and both are aligned with Iran, and Hezbollah. None of these specific groups want Jews in the ME, period. Some have made it very clear they don't want Jews to live at all, anywhere. It's not 'Jews who support the Israeli state' that they object to, it's Jewish people, period.

My hesitation about the argument to dismantle Israel is that I haven't seen anyone yet talk about how to go about doing it without a risk that there is another mass exodus or mass murder.

Un-fucking-fortunately, that possible result is also what Israel's government is using as their justification for war against their neighbors, and what it has been using for the better part of eighty years.

I am not defending Israel's actions. I do not condone what they are doing in Gaza. I do not condone what they are claiming about Gaza, and I have heard some truly horrifying propaganda that is getting fed to Zionists to keep the fervor up. I do not think that what they are doing in the Occupied West Bank is ethical. I do not think the Israeli government has a leg to stand on in terms of morality and ethics.

I also think that people who say "Israel should be dismantled" are looking at the past and turnabout as fair play without actually asking 'what will happen to the people who live there if a group like Hamas or the Houthi rebels or Hezbollah uses a weak transition period or sudden collapse as a chance to enact that revenge.

I don't know what the correct solution is. Rebuilding a government with both Israeli and Palestine officials in a joint system, unifying the two regions with the UN enforcing a fair and equal election and representation system? The two-nations solution that people have been talking about for ages, booting Israel from the Occupied West Bank and Gaza, and demanding they pay reparations to the people of Palestine? I don't think withdrawing all international interest and support to let them work it out among themselves is the right call. I don't think having Israel take over completely, or Palestine take over completely, is going to end well for whichever community ends up Not In Charge.

I don't know what can be done. I just know that the short, sweet, pithy 'dismantle Israel' and 'Zionism is bad' statements only sound good until you ask 'but where will the Jews, hated by most of the ME for what their government has been doing, and hated for millennia before that for existing, go?'

Which sucks, because Israel's government sure as hell didn't ask where the people of Palestine would go when they started pushing them out.

It's not fair! It's not fair to Palestine that this all is happening. It is not fair that the founded but unrealized risk to Israeli lives is being weighed against the fully realized and ongoing threat to theirs. It is not fair that thousands of children are dying of air strikes and hunger.

Palestine is undergoing a massacre at the hands of the Israeli government.

It is entirely possible that Israel will undergo that same massacre at the hands of Hamas and its allies if the 'dismantling' happens without safeguards.

Israel needs to stop. People are dying in the tens of thousands in Gaza because of their completely disproportionate response. A ceasefire is unquestionably needed and the ongoing refusal of the US government to help enforce one by pulling support from the IDF is a failure.

(No, not the Houthi strikes. That is a related, but distinct situation.)

But 'dismantle Israel' tends to come with few ideas on how to do so without risking the same situation as now, but in the other direction, and with the same or larger possibility of escalating into a wider regional conflict.

I don't know. I don't fucking know. But please understand that I am coming at this from a place of attempted compassion and concern. I am not trying to be dismissive of people's claims. I do not support Israel's actions. I don't even necessarily think Israel, as it is and as it was founded and as it acts, deserves to remain the power and government that it currently is. Restructuring, renaming, integrating, all these things are options, maybe even necessary ones.

I just don't think 'deserve' is the only consideration when the past seventy-odd years have been spent sowing the seeds of hate and revenge, and so many military groups in their area have expressed a desire to see all of them dead.

If you know of a 'dismantle Israel' plan by Palestinians, rather than some random Western Leftist, that includes plans on how to integrate the people that have in some cases been there for decades, and in some cases ended up there because they were driven or 'encouraged' out of neighboring Arab states...

Let me know.

But please recognize that I am trying my best to base my opinions on compassion and ethics and morality and awareness, not just parroting the news without thought, or my echo chamber, or whatever the first take to come to mind is. I am not trying to be malicious. I am not trying to be ignorant. I am not trying to 'stan America' or whatever people have been saying in my ask box.

They bombed me, too.

#Anonymous #I didn't start talking about the conflict in my own words until I felt I had a strong enough grasp on the facts and propaganda #to know what I was even saying.#phoenix answers asks #politics #current events #palestine #israel #gaza #death tw #antisemitism #islamophobia #death mention #genocide mention #ethnic cleansing

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jaymesyourplaything · 2 months

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TRANSPARENCY

ver they/them is sherlock he/him mod

john he/him is johns mod.

all purple are links.

hello,, i think to start this, i will have to be very transparent. this is going to push a lot of my comfort zones, and... well, writing this is going to... be very difficult for me. i'm sorry. if i give too much leeway, some friends may be upset. if i speak at all, i fear i'm losing some automatically.

but, i wanted to speak up. push myself. my friend gave me the okay, and along with bewitched they are both giving me the courage every day. 🥺🥺🥺

i struggle with speaking up. my co-mod was always the one who, spoke for me. in my life; i am very much a wallflower. in my personal life, people don't like how i am so very willing to see the good in people, even if they hurt me. this is because i was abused and neglected started from a young age.

due to my abuse;

i have a dissociative disorder

it makes it very hard for me to interact with people around me in my day to day life. whenever i am stressed, whenever i feel i should be quiet-i was conditioned well-or if anyone so much as changes their tones, i'll be gone. it's questioning when i come back, but it's often when i'm more comfortable.

so, when someone is out of line, or otherwise mean to me, i would dissociate, and often forget about it. my caretaker once commented on how i wasn't there mentally, i didn't have the ability to hold a grudge. it was not because of a mental deformity, but the neglect i suffered.

i was only ever "real" during happy moments. i would lose focus during un-happy moments. it was easy to create false memories, especially if all i had to go on was my (caretakers) retelling of any story.

my memories, my thoughts and feelings on people, are based entirely of whatever i can remember of them at that moment, and what other's tell me about the memories/people. my reality is easy to be altered. (which is why i stepped back so long, all my thoughts are based on my partner of 10 years, childhood friends who do not interact with this website or anyone in it, or some of my friends who have been helping me correct my behavior who have all stayed out of it for their general lack of like of drama and also it helps me tremendously to interact with the world "alone" and learn how to proceed in my life/process. alone as in they don't interfere, other than advice i ask for. mostly i'm saying i purposeful stepped back from ver and bewitched -and john- anyone involved and spoke to those not involved for my opinions here. )

the best coping mechanism we found is to be extremely grounded. the last year has become the best year of our life after we became aware how severe the abuse was and why i've been the way i have. (we as in my partner and i. we have been together for 9 years now. )

this is why i struggle keeping a narrative for long. i'll lose it, i'll go through various stages of understanding, or memory loss. my narrative is based on those around me and what i see, and other things i can trust. it takes awhile, so i can gather what other's think of what's happened around me, so i can base the truth off it.

(i stayed out of this because i couldn't just, listen to everyone when this is /my/ experience. hence why i talked to my partner, or other -childhood friends not related to anyone here in this space- about such topics for so long, or other trusted friends, until i could gather an idea that isn't biased from my friends. because i trusted john, it hurt a lot for this to happen, it was hard to believe, hence dissociation and why it took so long. heughhh... )

also, yes, co-mod

i co-moded this blog once. if you know who the co-mod is, please keep it private. we have since talked and he has agreed to stay out, he's leaving me to handle the experiences on this account. he has remained quiet by my request. he now has only commented on his own experiences on his blog, only. john never knew the identity of this other person, in fact i don't think i told him my identity either. we spoke as "i" or "we".

edit: gdi pookie i said keep it private wts

my co-mod quit the fucking whore

thats a joke i don't mind they quit. poor communication, i would dissociate and he disapproved that i was continuously supporting him [john] even though i was clearly, by my own mind's definition, in discomfort talking to him. i wanted to be a good mod, keep contact with the other mods. ): i didn't like how he treated people behind the scenes, gossip and stuff. devaluing sherlock for a long time.

my friendship and thoughts on john and ver

i don't think ver is emotionally manipulative, but i didn't think john was abusive either. john has certainly shown he has been abusive since the split at least, but it suspects he could have always been abusive.

john planned replacing sherlock with his friend, from early january at least, but i suspected it back around august 2023

he said early on ver would deserve being replaced. said mine would be a better sherlock once, said he was tired of ver's sherlock, supported the idea of the other sherlocks popping up since jan but said they were also crazy and not to talk to them.

but anyway, here's wonderwall

aka my statement

there are boundaries. revealing personal information about ver, at first in private (with me, who else could he have? ) and then later in public, or messaging them after they (publicly ) told him to stop. then slander, or public harassment (public attempts to communicate, or throw accusations at, or now accuse of sending anon asks without proof -turn off anon asks then john. ) i don't know what happened in private, but publicly john has continuously escalated a situation that ver has attempted to be quiet and respectful on continuously.

i ended my friendship with john because of his continued abuse towards ver since he abruptly and without warning replaced ver.

uh , last thoughts? and a message from me

john was a mean girl who decided to fully bully and harass ver now that ver was free.

ver is just emotional and reacted to johns /empty/ threats of quitting.

which again is mean of him, empty threats, he knew he wanted to replace ver, not quit lol

since he kicked ver out and cut them off, he has continuously reached out, even after ver requested he stop. he has no even made a new account (sherlockbbc-rp blog ) so that he could interact with us (we all had to re-block him, or otherwise ignore him ) since we all have been trying to move on

he is obsessed with ver, which is weird when john is the one who wanted ver gone. ver even tried to help john every step of the way (and wanted the same respect and help. ) which john refused. i believe ver and believe john blew them off until he replaced him, since he's refused my help in similar ways countless times.

i hope ver can move on and recover, they do seem really shaken up and shy because of this event, and john continuously just, escalates. now that we've all done statements, i want to help ver move on. i want to plan and plot more interactions, i want to help cheer them up. i hope johns friends continue to watch and take care of him too, but i honestly am happy i'm not one of them now. it's stressful. i don't need to be friends with someone who puts that much thought into slandering and harassing someone and has no intentions of growing as a person and stopping that behavior. i've been trying, and i'm sure most of my friends would agree i'm doing so much better. i am proud of my improvements, and i am so very proud of ver for moving on and taking all steps i would have. i am not proud of john. i am proud of me for leaving john. my friends are proud, it was difficult for me, very very difficult.

this was difficult to write. as said, in my personal life, i am too soft, too nice. last ex, i remember we talked it out and ended with me saying (so us agreeing ) we were both too immature for the relationship. in reality they were cheating and petty lol. i.. i am often harassed for, not... speaking up, for taking blame, for ending so many things on good terms. two people i respected a lot even judged me when it took me so long to cut john out of my life. it hurt a lot. i've withdrawn a lot, since then. i am excited to move on from this chapter of my life, and continue growing as a person, from poor behavior to just being more assertive.

thank you for reading this, i... i feel no one really cares, but a close friend comforted me, and reminded me that even if no one else cares, that my friend ver appreciates me helping. i was silent so long, partially their request, some was a mutual agreement between me and my co-mod, and a lot was processing... what was going on with john. please be respectful, please be patient with me. this was my friend too. this was ver's friend once too. thank you to my friend, thank you to my continued friends for always helping me in correcting my behavior, or just remaining patient with me during this journey the last year with my own personal growth, and thank you to bewitched and ver for giving me the courage and help to speak out in the first place. i love and appreciate all of you very much.

john, please stop trying to contact me.

#jay #a scandal in tumblr #mod

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tinyladofladdies · 1 month

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my testimony 🌊☆⋆｡🪼 (of how i returned to God and truly came to know Jesus for the first time after being a distant believer turned atheist) . . 𓆉︎ ࿔*

Romans 8:38-39 — For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

like many, not all, Christians, i was raised in an american Christian church, knowing who Jesus was my whole life.

from the youngest i can remember, i was attending some sort of church, usually with my nana on my dad's side and then for a bit, with my parents at a different church in town. i attended VBS most summers, went to sports camp at a different Christian church, got to a point where i served the coffee station in my nana's non-denominational church, went to 3 services a week with my other grandma, and as a child, i genuinely loved praying and had a deep understanding of the gravity of what Jesus did for us; i remember as a child feeling genuine sadness thinking of how Jesus died for our sins while being innocent. i loved God.

yet still, once i got to around 6th & 7th grade, i could no longer find myself believing in God. i wanted to believe in something; i attended many sweat lodges with my kaka (grandpa), called myself an "omnist" at one point (someone who believed all religions had an equal possibility of being correct and therefore all religions deserved equal respect). but, very quickly, i started identifying myself as an atheist.

there were many reasons for this; when i was a child, my dad went to prison. i saw drugs all around me, both my dad and my aunt being addicted, as well as other distant family members who i didn't meet, to the point that my dad went to prison for 8ish years and i wasn't allowed to see my aunt anymore for several months. because of my dad's addiction, my mom worked hard, multiple jobs, and i was usually with my dad, and as a young child, felt responsible for my two younger siblings at the time. whether i was with my aunt or dad, i felt responsible for keeping my younger cousin and my two younger siblings at that time safe. there was an unnecessary pressure on me, now that i think back i had a lot go anxiety even as a child, and i know these things added up, because by the time i was 8-9 years old (when my dad went away), i became severely depressed. the first time i physically self-harmed was in 3rd or 4th grade, and i had deep suicidal ideations. i was exposed to things as a child that i shouldn't have been (it's hard to comment on this, because i know i had weird behavior and severe guilt as a young child that was definitely influenced by trauma, except i believe some things happened to me that i repressed because i can't remember). i developed a p*rn & m*sterb*tion addiction still in 3rd or 4th grade, and long before that, sexualised myself as a child. leading up to 6th or 7th grade, my addictions got worse, i was still suicidal and depressed, taking very poor care of myself, and i could no longer feel that there was any God watching over me. so, i became an atheist; i then despised being at church with my nana, i didn't want to stand during the worship music even though, before, i would sing with my whole chest, and i just remember wanting to cry and run out one time because i absolutely did not want to be there and did not want to be standing. one morning, i stayed home from church and my nana got upset with me and told me i could not come to her house unless i came to church with her, and when i told my mom i no longer believed in God, she said i had no feelings or empathy. i say all of this, not because it's easy or to be glorified or because i want my family members to feel any guilt over things they said in 2018; i have fully and completely forgiven both my mom and nana, and my relationship with both of them has drastically improved as well as my relationship with God because of their own faith. however, these things are important to be raw about. the hurt i was already experiencing being added onto made me a stronger atheist, and i know that many people feel the same thing or have been through the same thing, and i want to offer them empathy and hope in Jesus. i don't glorify my trauma or sins, i acknowledge them and how severe they were, but i use this as a testimony to glorify GOD and how far HE has brought me and how much HE has healed me, forgiven me, and saved me from.

from the time i was in 5th grade, i identified as bisexual & pansexual, and from 9th grade to the beginning of my junior year, i identified as non-binary, trans, and every queer label under the sun. i was bisexual, i was lesbian, i was a gay man, i was aromantic, i was hypersexual, i was every "mogai" label that i came across on the internet, i was radically queer and this journey as well influenced my view and idea of God. i was a radical queer inclusionist, i was a radfem/terf, i was pro-choice, i used God's Name in vain and viewed myself worthy to be referred to as a "god," i believed in astrology signs and "vibrations," and the "divine feminine," i talked badly about Christianity while calling myself a Christian, all of these things.

and while some of these sins are at different points in this timeline, before or after i became a Christian, all of this throughout my walk added up to who i am, how i view God and what my relationship with God is like here and now, today.

in the summer of 2019, i moved to california from kentucky with my family after being raised in ky my whole life. i was 13, i was battling extreme intrusive thoughts which caused, yet again, more anxiety and suicidal ideation, and i still did not believe in God.

my family & i lived in hotels for the first month or so that we got out here, where i isolated myself as much as possible, battled my own thoughts, and spent way too much time in my head.

when we finally found and moved into a house, where we still live today, my mom, siblings, & i found a church that is a 5 minute walk from our house. i started going with my family, asked for a Bible i believe the first Christmas we had here, and back then, shortly before and after covid first hit, i took a lot of walks. i would pray. i would ask God for silly signs to prove Himself real to me. i got to this point, and this was now in my 8th grade year (where i dropped out of school due to severe anxiety and developed a horrible reversed sleep schedule...whole other story), where i started believing in God again, but now i felt fear because i believed God was real, but i couldn't really believe. and if i did, i didn't want to follow Him, which made me feel even more guilt; i didn't and still don't know why i felt this way.

i do know, that my relationship with my family was getting worse & more toxic, there was still deep sexual sin in my life, and i was still struggling mentally. i was becoming a worse person to myself, to my family, and to all other people around me. i felt isolated, i felt unreal, i felt anxious, and i felt guilt.

i got a point where i was so delusional and mentally detached that i thought i wasn't even human.

i remember that when things kind of built up, and fights with my mom got worse, and i said or did something i know i shouldn't have, i would just pray; crying & sobbing for hours on end, praying, asking God for forgiveness and help. i think the first time i really repented in prayer was during these times. i knew, and i told God this, that there was something within me that was causing these attitudes, behaviors, and sins, and that i couldn't do it on my own. i wanted so desperately to just act different, be different, be better as a person, and i told God that i just did not know why i couldn't just change myself, knowing that everything in my life was wrong. i just couldn't.

one of the last times i prayed one of these long, desperate prayers, i remember distinctly telling God that i felt like i was too far gone for Him to save me or help me. i don't know if this was a saturday night or a few days before the next Sunday, but i know that the next time there was church, "something" (which i now know was the Holy Spirit), compelled me to go. this was still during covid, church was in different area of the building than the main services used to be, everyone was 6 ft. apart with masks, it was bizarre. but the message that day that stuck with me was "nobody is too far gone for God's love."

that was the exact thing i prayed. and all this time i was asking God for a sign, He spoke to me in the most direct, beautiful way.

as a kid, even with my extreme love for Jesus, i always felt that in order to pray "that prayer," or to even be baptised, i had to get my life together. i had to be kinder, be a better sister and daughter, stop sinning, at least for long enough that i could finally be worthy enough to approach Jesus and tell Him i wanted Him as my Savior.

but for the first time, that lie was undone. i left that service early because i didn't want anyone to see me crying, i cried all the way home trying to hold back the tears, and as soon as i got to my room, i fell down with my head bowed on my Bible and i repented; i admitted everything i had done that had been weighing me down for years, and i finally said the words "Jesus, i accept you as my Lord and Savior."

i finally admitted Who Jesus was, that i believed what He did for me, that i needed God's forgiveness, and that i wanted God's guidance for my life.

now, this was january of 2021 (it's actually funny because for a long time, i thought i was saved shortly after my 15th birthday, but it was actually a month-ish before that birthday, so i literally got my salvation date wrong LOL).

i have to admit, that after praying that prayer, although i felt the peace and presence of the Lord in a way i never had before, i started going to church but i didn't start living for God for a very long time. and even with going to my church, i eventually stopped because my stepdad and i got into a fight where he basically said "why are you even going to church if you're gay?" and while that didn't stop my belief in God, i felt ashamed to pass my stepdad walking out the door on Sunday mornings.

a lot of sin in my life actually got worse after i came to Christ; i was still gay and trans, still sexually sinning with my addictions, still not being the best family member, still being a very toxic person, and still using the Lord's Name in vain and using God's Name in fights to defend things that aren't even biblical.

it wasn't until august of 2022, the beginning of my junior year, that i made the step to start going to church again, to get baptised, which i had put off for so long, and to start taking God seriously. i started going through the verse of the day in the youversion Bible app every morning, i started praying every day and more consistently throughout my day, i started trying to learn more about who God actually is, and i started serving in the kids' ministry at my church. eventually i started attending and then serving in the highschool ministry, i started serving in the choir and greeting team, and for the first time, i really sat down and examined my sins & behaviors; even after beginning to take Jesus seriously, many sins, even sinful thoughts as well as behaviors, continued, and it took a lot of help from the Holy Spirit, a lot of self-control, a lot of mindset & heart attitude change, and a lot of repentance, to get to a point where i knew exactly how God wanted me to live and started putting it into practice.

in the very beginning of building my relationship with God, i felt peace and joy like never before, and thought "why on earth did i never follow Jesus before?" but as with every believer, the enemy started attacking and i had, and still do currently, have to navigate through spiritual attacks; i have slipped and sinned and messed up seemingly "way too far" into my Christian walk, knowingly, knowing what is sin and what isn't. it took me absolutely forever to finally and honestly surrender my false identity of homosexuality & gender identity over to God (and His love, comfort, and patience was so present with me through that long process), it took forever to unlearn things i had been taught by the world or that i had somehow believed (and that unlearning process is still continuing sometimes as i read the Word of God and get closer to Him), it took forever to finally manage my thoughts and temptations, and even recently those thoughts & temptations have caused me to either slip or fall into anxiety.

my testimony is still being written every day, but all of this is a testament of God's EXTREME goodness, faithfulness, and grace.

i have been under severe spiritual attack for the entirety of 2024. there are days when my thoughts seem beyond control, where my ocd presides over genuine interaction with God, where i don't feel God's presence almost at all. i have fallen into a deep depression, anxiety, ocd, and a lot of my passion to live out my life as it is right now has diminished, and that's hard.

but God has been faithfully speaking to me through His Word, through my family, through my Christian friends and mentors. He has been teaching me how to relearn prayer and interaction with Him, His presence and protection have brought peace and encouragement like never before, even when i'm in a dark season where it seems like i should be feeling everything but peace or encouragement.

but God is building me up and preparing me for whatever seasons are going to come next, and all of this is to say, God is real.

God is patient, God's grace never runs out; the message that led me to salvation was "nobody is too far gone for God's love," no matter what you have said or done, how broken you are, Jesus is victorious over every single part of the battle. that message is still true.

God loves you, God is near to you, God's grace & patience are extended to you and me time and time again, and God has a plan for you. He created you to know Him and He will meet you right where you are.

one of my favorite verses (and chapters, really), is the one quoted at the very top of this post, but i will reiterate it time & time again for as long as i live . . .

I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜ : creds . .

dividers: roseraris

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 23 days

Text

I rambled this thought about The Monty and Foxy show and it's been a pretty long time coming and I know some of my mutuals share a similar opinion, so whatever. I'll throw it out there.

But I do NOT care for Vegeta-animatronic.

There's just a lot of characters that serve a similar purpose narratively.

Vegeta just looks so out of place with a majority of the cast it's just kind of hard to take him too seriously

Most other characters can be replace Vegeta in a scene and not much would be lost.... and MORE would be added.

Vegeta giving Eclipsev4 his pep talk on who he is as an animatronic, could have easily come from Jack instead trying to find his purpose and it wouldn't be out of place. Because Jack is also struggling with his purpose and as of now he is an errand-boy and more or less scrap from Solar and Moon's code. So Eclipse would connect more then that then a DBZ animatronic.

But here's what bothers me the most:

Vegeta is a Retcon.

(Like… Retcons aren't good or bad things. They are neutral things. There are such a thing as good "retcons" if the retcon benefits the story. Like, Dazzle from LAES is a good Retcon, because them being in the walls the entire time since Sun and Moon separated does not completely destroy backstories of other characters. And it works because no one knew of Dazzle's existence before then and nothing else needs to change much, unless they dip toes into the Creator, but the Creator is a mysterious evil character so his backstory and things he's been doing off-screen is very malleable.)

But let's think to Vegeta-animatronic's backstory. Monty made him as "practice" for building Lunar because he never built an animatronic body before and he wanted to make sure he get it right. But the thing is…. Monty put the nano-machine of Lunar that survived into a program in his space station and the body Lunar was made was mostly auto-constructed by the computer, because Eclipse was preventing Monty from going into space.

Monty was also grieving about what happened to Lunar and the threat of Eclipse hanging overhead. He was upset he couldn't oversee the process and wasn't sure if Lunar would come back. He even bashed Foxy's head in and gave him amnesia cus he was drinking himself to death over all of this…………….

So Where in the hell would he have to make Vegeta????

"I was into dragonball memes then…"

Oh… when you were just… lying low and doing the best you could for the "kid" you cared for so much at the time. Monty didn't even physically build Lunar's body, Monty's computer did. Monty just picked him up later.

Vegeta also doesn't add anything other then to call Monty his Dad/Mom, make Earth uncomfortable by calling her mom, forcing family dynamics that he doesn't understand, and just annoy Monty, and monty doesn't deactivate him cus…. he's attached.

Also, can I mention how much I hate that Earth has voiced how repeatedly uncomfortable she is with him calling her "Mom" and he still does it??? I get that Vegeta is lonely and wants to belong, but he keeps violating people's boundaries with titles. Like today. Solar is not his grandpa. Lunar is not his brother. Monty isn't even Lunar's dad, only like... step-father if you want to put it that way. This family tumbleweed does make a logical throughline of sense but forcing titles onto people until they eventually agree with you is not the way to do it. Monty had to agree to the dad/mom title more not as acceptance, but just because "he wouldn't stop, so why bother to correct that behavior." Vegeta just forces family titles on everyone until they reluctantly agree to them, and that is like "found family done wrong" and it just never sits right with me whenever he does it.

Also, if Monty DID make Lunar's body… how did making Dragonball Z Vegeta's body prepare him for that at all? Wouldn't you think he'd practice by making a celestial animatronic looking thing without a conscious AI in it, if he's just extracting Lunar's code from the nanomachine he possessed.

There was no reason to make Vegeta sentient. Okay, argue that Monty was piss drunk when he made him… It's still a damn stupid excuse and Vegeta serves very little narrative purpose and looks out of place with the other cast.

Anyway... it's fine if you like Vegeta-Animatronic, find his antics charming, or think he's a sweetheart.

However, I just feel his role is better narratively served by other characters, and every time he's given focus over someone else who would use the spotlight more, I die a little inside.

However, at the end of the day, it's Davis and Matt's show.

And I do think they need more characters that they're just not adopting/stealing from Tsams/laes. So.... yeah... That's the only narrative purpose Vegeta really serves to me.

#tsams #mafs #the sun and moon show #danachan's rants #no shade to the v-animatronic likers or voice actors ofc #I just had to ramble this

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