#this came to me in approximately 30 seconds and took like... 20 minutes to write

[drwilfredwaterson]

Earthquakes in Various Happy, Graceful, Red, and Golden Places...

22:19:30 GMT+3 Jerusalem, Israel, 11:19:30 AKDT Local Time (approximately 110 minutes, 30 seconds (6630 seconds) after posting the 5/5 Evolution Avatar post at 17:29:00 (UTC))

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 1435 and 1436: Psalm 22:14 They open their mouths at me like tearing, roaring lions. Psalm 22:15 My life ebbs away: all my bones are disjointed; my heart is like wax, melting within me; Psalm 22:16 my vigor dries up like a shard; my tongue cleaves to my palate; You commit me to the dust of death. Psalm 22:17 Dogs surround me; a pack of evil ones closes in on me, like lions [they maul] my hands and feet. Psalm 22:18 I take count of all my bones while they look on and gloat. Psalm 22:19 They divide my clothes among themselves, casting lots for my garments.

Luke 23:52 Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body. Luke 23:53 Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen cloth and placed it in a tomb cut in the rock, one in which no one had yet been laid. Luke 23:54 It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin. Luke 23:55 The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it. Luke 23:56 Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment. Luke 24:1 On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. Luke 24:2 They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, Luke 24:3 but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. Luke 24:4 While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. Luke 24:5 In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? Luke 24:6 He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: Luke 24:7 The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ “ Luke 24:8 Then they remembered his words. Luke 24:9 When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others.

Fibonacci Sequence: 8, 13: Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer

Published: August 22, 2019 (234th day) Duration: 3:00 (180 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic8j13piAhQ ic8j13piAhQ icjpiAhQ achiijpq 1+3+8+9+9+600+60+70=760. 760+8+13=781. 781+180=961. 961+234=1195.

Strong's Concordance #1195 Baana: The same as Ba'anah; Banana; with anah through the idea of looking down or browbeating); to depress literally or figuratively, abase self, affliction, chasten self, deal hardly with, defile, exercise, force, gentleness, humble (self), hurt, ravish, submit self, weaken; the name of several Israelites. Original Word: בַּעֲנָא

“Forever is composed of nows.” ― Emily Dickinson

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.” ― Henry David Thoreau

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ― Albert Einstein

When your ass seems lost, have faith; you're on your way to the next time and place of the opportunity you're prepared for: being a crucial part of Earth's big, beautiful picture…

Dog Struggles of Taylor Swift

Published: September 20, 2015 (263rd day) Duration: 0:14 (14 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SSI0ZtPfCtA SSI0ZtPfCtA SSIZtPfCtA acfipssttz 1+3+6+9+60+90+90+100+100+500=959. 959+0=959. 959+14=973. 973+263=1236.

Strong's Concordance #1236 biqa: a plain Original Word: בִּקְעָא

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English): Pages 1809 and 1810: Daniel 3:1 King Nebuchadnezzar made a statue of gold sixty cubits high and six cubits broad. He set it up in the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. Daniel 3:12 There are certain Jews whom you appointed to administer the province of Babylon, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego; those men pay no heed to you, O king: they do not serve your god or worship the statue of gold that you have set up." Daniel 3:13 The Nebuchadnezzar, in raging fury, ordered Shadrach, Mesach, and Abed-nego to be brought; so those men were brought before the king. Daniel 3:14 Nebuchadnezzar spoke to them and said, "is it true, Shadrach, Mesach, and Abed-nego, that you do not serve my god or worship the statue of gold that I have set up? Daniel 3:15 Now if you are ready to fall down and worship the statue that I have made when you hear the sound of the horn, pipe, zither, lyre, psaltery, and bagpipe, and all other types of instruments, [well and good]; but if you will not worship, you shall at once be thrown into a burning fiery furnace, and what god is there that can save you from my power?" Daniel 3:16 Shadrach, Mesach, and Abed-nego said in reply to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter, Daniel 3:17 for if so it must be, our God whom we serve is able to save us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will save us from your power, O king. Daniel 3:18 But even if He does not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your god or worship the statue of gold that you have set up."

Taylor Swift - "Treacherous" (Canines Version) (From the Swiftie Intelligence Agency's Troll and Christmas Tree Farm Bureau) - Parody Remix ft. Saliva Put your lips close to mine As long as they don't touch A little close, we're eye to eye And the gravity's too much Your doggy breath's up in my face Active sal-i-va-ry glands I'd prefer a bit more space I crave distance Spatial a-ware-ness Hot breath and dampness This slope is treacherous And I'm slimed, slimed by it

Those dogs of mine in the sunshine I think I, smell some, I smell some dog bones Savory echoes through my mind As I say, "A little, a little too close!" I guess my face looked a bit dry They got up, they got up, they got up real close They got up, they got up real close That slope was treacherous Clawed paw marks dangerous Both dogs, licks, fondness But I, I, I liked it

Every creative artist has lived and died with the truth that if their work isn't relatable and cathartic, their creative output will never make it outside of their home studio. If, and that's an enormous "if," a creative artist ever manages to succeed in making their creative output relatable and cathartic to others (many never succeed at this), the moment that's lost is the beginning of the end for that creative artist and their work unless something changes within humanity and the human condition. What connects humanity with an artist's creative output is the honesty, sincerity, and accuracy of the creative artist's expression of their, or someone else's, human experience (be it extraordinary, average, unpleasant, or agonizing). It takes far more than a creative artist's foundational 10,000 hours of training and experience for humanity to instantly connect with an artist's creative output as being relatable and cathartic, so why would any creative artist want to disconnect and disassociate from the pronoun "I," and their own humanity, when their art can't and won't survive if they do?

https://www.twitter.com/TheSwiftSociety/status/1704061443916579236

Strong's Concordance #1 ab: father, father of individual, God as Father of His people, head of household, family or clan, originator or patron of a class, profession, or art, figurative of producer, generator, figurative of benevolence & protection, term of respect & honor, specifically, ruler, chief (late), Aleph, first letter Original Word: אָב

Strong's Concordance #7040 Qallay: from qalal; frivolous; Kallai, an Israelite, Kelly, Cali (Yiddish) Original Word: קַלַּי

Strong's Concordance #61 abal: verily, of a truth, but Original Word: אֲבָל

John 8:31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Strong's Concordance #4439 Malkiel: "my King is El," From melek and 'el; king of (i.e. Appointed by) the one only and true God of Israel; an Asherite Original Word: מַלְכִּיאֵל

Strong's Concordance #1657 Goshen: Goshen, the residence of the Israelites in Egypt; also a city in S. Judah Original Word: גּשֶׁן

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 128: Exodus 8:18 But on that day I will set apart the region of Goshen, where My people dwell, so that no swarms of insects shall be there, that you may know that I the Lord am in the midst of the land.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 131: Exodus 9:26 Only in the region of Goshen, where the Israelites were, there was no hail.

Strong's Concordance #92 aguddah: to bind; a band, bundle, knot, or arch -- bunch, burden, troop, legend, fairytale. Original Word: אֲגֻדָּה

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 981: Isaiah 58:6 No, this is the fast I desire: To unlock fetters of wickedness, And untie the cords of the yoke To let the oppressed go free; To break off every yoke.

Taylor Swift - "Today Was a Fairytale": "Today was a fairytale You were the prince I used to be a damsel in distress You took me by the hand, and you picked me up at six You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess Time slows down Whenever you're around Can you feel this magic in the air? Today was a fairytale"

Strong's Concordance #36 Abitub: From 'ab and tuwb; Father of goodness (i.e. Good), "My Father is goodness"; a Benjamite Original Word: אֲבִיטוּב

Mark 10:17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Mark 10:18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. Mark 10:19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’”

Strong's Concordance #29 Abiyyah: "Yah/Jah/the God of Israel is my Father," from 'ab and Yahh; father (i.e. Worshipper) of Yah/Jah/ the God of Israel; an Israelite name Original Word: אֲבִיָּה

John 10:37 Do not believe me unless I do the works of my Father. John 10:38 But if I do them, even though you do not believe me, believe the works, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father.”

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead —his eyes are closed. The insight into the mystery of life, coupled though it be with fear, has also given rise to religion. To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms—this knowledge, this feeling is at the center of true religiousness.” ― Albert Einstein, Living Philosophies

Strong's Concordance #131 Adummim: Plural of 'Adam; Adam the name of the first man; reds, red spots; a place between Jerusalem and Jericho Original Word: אֲדֻמִּים Red Sea: אֲדֻמִּ ים

Fibonacci Sequence: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89… Back to the Future 3 (1990) - Coyote Pass: 131 and Going Home to October 27th, 1985 (300th day), 11:00 AM PST (Daylight Savings Time ended at 02:00) Coyote Pass was a section of terrain along the railroad before Carson Spur. It could be accessed via Gale Ridge. (Fandom.com)

Published: October 21, 2022 (294th day) Duration: 2:58 (178 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZYU1a34YnM FZYU1a34YnM FZYUaYnM afmnuyyz 1+6+30+40+200+400+400+500=1577. 1577+1+34=1612. 1612+178=1790. 1790+294=2084.

Strong's Concordance #2084 zeban: to buy, to acquire by purchase, gain, salesperson Original Word: זְבַן

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1892: 1 Chronicles 1:34 Abraham begot Isaac. The sons of Isaac: Esau and Israel.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 69: Genesis 33:3 He himself went on ahead and bowed low to the ground seven times until he was near his brother. Genesis 33:4 Esau ran to greet him. He embraced him and , falling on his neck, he kissed him; and they wept. Genesis 33:8 And he asked, "What do you mean by all this company which I have met?" He answered, "To gain my lord's favor." Genesis 33:9 Esau said, "I have enough, my brother; let what you have remain yours." Genesis 33:10 But Jacob said, "No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably. Genesis 33:11 Please accept my present which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty." And when he urged him, he accepted.

Back to the Future Part 3: October 27th: - Red Truck, Better Choices, Blank Paper, Clean Future… "Make your future a good one…" - Christopher Lloyd (as Doc Brown)

Published: November 13, 2020 (318th day) Duration: 6:23 (383 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV7jeOQ8ezs xV7jeOQ8ezs xVjeOQezs eejoqsvxz 5+5+600+50+70+90+700+300+500=2320. 2320+7+8=2335. 2335+383=2718. 2718+318=3036.

Strong's Concordance #3036 Yadon: From yadah; thankful; "will know"; one of the builders of the walls of Jerusalem Original Word: יָדוֹן

That's How You Get Taylor Swift's 1989 Album on October 27th…

Published: July 5, 2015 (186th day) Duration: 0:33 (33 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT3F8_ioamo uT3F8_ioamo uTF_ioamo afimootu 1+6+9+30+50+50+100+200=446. 446+3+8=457. 457+33=490. 490+186=676.

33 AD: The love, salvation, and redemption of Jesus Christ's Passover sacrifice and resurrection.

Strong's Concordance #676 etsba: a finger Original Word: אֶצְבַּע

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1419: Psalm 8:1 For the leader; on the gittith. A psalm of David. Psalm 8:2 O Lord, our Lord, How majestic is Your name throughout the earth, You who have covered the heavens with Your splendor! Psalm 8:3 From the mouths of infants and sucklings You have founded strength on account of Your foes, to put an end to enemy and avenger. Psalm 8:4 When I behold Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and stars that You set in place, Psalm 8:5 what is man that You have been mindful of him, mortal man that You have taken note of him, Psalm 8:6 that You have made him little less than divine, and adorned him with glory and majesty; Psalm 8:7 You have made himn master over Your handiwork, laying the world at his feet, Psalm 8:8 sheep and oxen, all of them, and wild beasts, too: Psalm 8:9 the birds of the heavens, the fish of the sea, whatever travels the paths of the seas.

Strong's Concordance #10 abaddoh: a perishing -- destruction. Original Word: אֲבַדֹּה

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Strong's Concordance #1615 gir: lime (from being burned in a kiln) -- chalk(-stone) Original Word: גִּר

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 903 Isaiah 27:2 In that day, They shall sing of it: "Vineyard of Delight." Isaiah 27:3 I the Lord keep watch over it, I water it every moment; That no harm may befall it, I watch it night and day. Isaiah 27:4 There is no anger in Me: If one offers Me thorns and thistles, I will march to battle against him, And set all of them on fire. Isaiah 27:5 But if he holds fast to My refuge, He makes Me his friend; He makes Me his friend. Isaiah 27:6 [In days] to come Jacob shall strike root, Israel shall sprout and blossom, And the face of the world Shall be covered with fruit. Isaiah 27:7 Was he beaten as his beater has been? Did he suffer such slaughter as his slayers? Isaiah 27:8 Assailing them with fury unchained, His pitiless blast bore them off On a day of gale. Isaiah 27:9 Assuredly, by this alone Shall Jacob's sin be purged away; This is the only price For removing his guilt: That he make all the altar-stones Like shattered blocks of chalk--With no sacred post left standing, Nor any incense altar.

1195+29+131+10+1615=2980.

Strong's Concordance #2980 yabab: to cry in a shrill voice, to bawl, cry out Original Word: יָבַב

9:14 UTC = 12:14 GMT+3 Jerusalem, Israel

John 12:13 They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, “Hosanna!” “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” “Blessed is the King of Israel!” John 12:14 Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, as it is written: John 12:15 “Do not be afraid, Daughter Zion; see, your King is coming, seated on a donkey’s colt.”

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 1636 and 1637: Proverbs 22:17 Incline your ear and listen to the words of the sages; Pay attention to my wisdom. Proverbs 22:18 It is good that you store them inside you, And that all of them be constantly on your lips, Proverbs 22:19 That you may put your trust in the Lord. I let you know today--yes, you--

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1173: Ezekiel 11:19 I will give them one heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove the heart of stone from their bodies and give them a heart of flesh Ezekiel 11:20 that they may follow My laws and faithfully observe My rules. Then they shall be My people and I will be their God.

John 19:19 Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.

John 19:30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Strong's Concordance #6630 Tsaanan: sheep pasture; a place perhaps in the Shephelah of Judah, an insulated cooler to keep food and drinks cool and fresh. Original Word: צַאֲנָן

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1643: Proverbs 25:13 Like the coldness of snow at harvesttime Is a trusty messenger to those who send him; He lifts his master's spirits.

Matthew 10:42 And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.”

Earthquake: M 1.3 - 40.1 km (24.9 mi) W of Skwentna, Alaska

2023-09-18 19:19:30 (UTC) 62.044°N 152.159°W 90.7 km depth

Between Happy Creek, Johnson Creek, and Red Creek.

"Happiness is inside of all of us; sometimes, you just need someone to help you find it." - Trolls

Evolution is the ultimate fate of all inclusive, expansive, loving, nurturing, and humanitarian free will choices. Taylor Swift and her Swifties are a great modern example of evolution. Era after era, Taylor Swift and her Swifties have evolved together through all that has ever harmed them, rose above it all, and have continued to expand and grow so that new methods of human connectivity are evolving to meet the expansive and inclusive nature of human evolution.

Their evolution is based upon some simple truths:

1. Everyone goes through this suffering.

2. Many, many people survive it because they accept that growing pains are part of evolution.

3. Those who "shake it off" live to shake it off another day.

4. Creative people who refuse to stop creating are harder to destroy than people who refuse to "shake it off" and choose self-destruction, instead.

5. You're a better person today, and you'll be a better person tomorrow, if you refuse to allow other people to force you to self-destruct and implode via their actions and opinions.

6. Embrace your evolution and encourage, support, and inspire evolution in everyone who encounters, knows, and even just witnesses you enduring and surviving your growing pains.

7. Always fearlessly speak now when you know that you and the world are missing something that would make human existence and the world better for yourself, and everyone else, while you're all just trying to survive and endure the growing pains of human evolution.

Cupcakes accekpsu 1+3+3+5+10+60+90+200=372.

Strong's Concordance #372 Iezer: "region of help," from 'iy and ezer; helpless; "I will help"; two Israelites Original Word: אִיעֶזֵר

Rainbows Rare Fogbow Shines Over Graceville, Minnesota September 17, 2023 Fog and sunlight mixed to create a fogbow, or ghost rainbow, over Minnesota. https://weather.com/news/weather/video/rare-fogbow-shines-over-minnesota

2 Corinthians 12:5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 2 Corinthians 12:6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 2 Corinthians 12:7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 2 Corinthians 12:8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

"If I had been popular, I would've been content staying where I was and I wouldn't have wanted to go anywhere outside of my bubble where I was comfortable and happy. It just wasn't the cool thing to be trying to do anything different. And I think that that caused me to spend a lot of time alone, and spending a lot of time alone gave me a lot of time to think. And having a lot of time to think allowed me to write songs. In the real world, if you have something about yourself that's different, you're lucky; it's not a curse." - Taylor Swift (Best Buy @ 15)

Taylor Swift - Taylor Swift (debut album) (2006) Liner Notes: "I love you's I love you, family. Dad, because you are my biggest fan, and I'll never get tired of the way you smile when I pick up a guitar and play. Mom, for being my best friend and most trusted companion, even in times when you were my only friend. That was just fine. Austin, my little brother, for being so much more brave than I could ever hope to be. My aunt, Alison, for being such a beautiful person. My aunts, uncles, cousins and relatives (even the ones I didn't know I had) for making Thanksgiving something someone should write a book about. I love my mom and dad's friends who have been so unbelievably supportive (and so unbelievably loud at my shows). I love my friends. Abigail, I love you because you are my best friend in the entire world. Can't wait to room together when we're 65 and wrinkly and living in Minnesota. I love all of my myspace friends for taking such an active roll in what I do, I will never forget how you all rallied for me from the beginning. I love everyone who's inspired me to write a song, whether you know it or not. I love anyone who has ever turned the volume up when my song comes on the radio, anyone who has bought this album. Anyone who can sing along to my songs when I play them live. Anyone who's ever requested my song on the radio, or even remembered my name. If you ever see me in public, I want to meet you. I will thank you myself. You have let me into your life, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that. I love YOU, and I love God for putting you in my life love love love -T-"

Trolls - True Colors (November 17, 2023/321st day)

Published: December 31, 2016 Duration: 5:30 (330 seconds: 10x33 seconds: 10=Opals, 33 AD: The love, salvation, and redemption of Jesus Christ's Passover sacrifice and resurrection.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iHJS8hd2FA 5iHJS8hd2FA (5+8+2=15) iHJShdFA adfhhijs 1+4+6+8+8+9+600+90=726. 726+5+8+2=741. 741+330=1071. 1071+321=1392.

Strong's Concordance #1392 gibol: a bud, stem, the origin of something, the main body of a plant that then grows, blooms, and becomes fruitful. Original Word: גִּבְעֹל

John 15:1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. John 15:2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. John 15:3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.

"I hope you remind yourself of what you are, and what you are not. You are not damaged goods. You are not your mistakes. You’re not a result of the things you thought you could have done better, or times you felt you chose the wrong path, instead of the right one.

You’re not somebody else’s opinion of you. You are wiser because you’ve made those mistakes. You are someone who’s brave enough to take chances. You are someone who was rained on over and over again, and kept on putting one foot in front of the other.

I think that’s so much better than never having made a mistake, never having messed up or having failed. I think that the pain we go through when we make mistakes makes us stronger. And I think that being rained on over and over and over again can actually make us clean." - Taylor Swift - 1989 World Tour - Clean Speech - Tokyo Dome

“Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is. And you must bend to its power or live a lie.” ― Miyamoto Musashi

“Under the sword lifted high, There is hell making you tremble. But go ahead, And you have the land of bliss.” ― Miyamoto Musashi satsujinken (殺人剣) "life-taking sword" katsujinken (活人剣) "life-giving sword"

Translation: “Under the life-taking sword lifted high, There is hell making you tremble. But go ahead, And you have the land of bliss.” ― Miyamoto Musashi “Under the life-giving sword lifted high, There is hell making you tremble. But go ahead, And you have the land of bliss.” ― Miyamoto Musashi

“Do not rely on following the degree of understanding that you have discovered, but simply think, "This is not enough.” ― Tsunetomo Yamamoto, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai

“I do not know how to defeat others. All I know is the path to defeat myself. Today one must be better than yesterday, and tomorrow better than today. The pursuit of perfection is a lifelong quest that has no end.” ― Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Secret Wisdom of the Samurai

“You must understand that there is more than one path to the top of the mountain” ― Miyamoto Musashi

“Step by step walk the thousand-mile road.” ― Musashi Miyamoto

“Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.” ― Miyamoto Musashi

Trolls - Happy Ending, Can't Stop the Lemon Squeeze Karma (November 17, 2023/321st day)

Published: August 23, 2021 Duration: 5:39 (339 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3rNJYDo2jc A3rNJYDo2jc ArNJYDojc acdjjnory 1+3+4+600+600+40+50+80+400=1778. 1778+3+2=1783. 1783+339=2122. 2122+321=2443.

Strong's Concordance #2443 chakkah: a hook, fishhook, angle, fishing rod Original Word: חַכָּה

Matthew 4:19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”

1 John 5:6 This is the one who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth.

The Math is Mathing… Newton's Third Law: Action & Reaction His third law states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction. If object A exerts a force on object B, object B also exerts an equal and opposite force on object A. In other words, forces result from interactions. (NASA.gov)

Taylor Swift - Death By A Thousand Cuts (From Taylor's Version #1: Lover)

Published: August 22, 2019 (234th day) Duration: 3:20 (200 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTEFSuFfgnU GTEFSuFfgnU efffggnstuu 5+6+6+6+7+7+40+90+100+200+200=667. 667+200=867. 867+234=1101. 1+1+1=3. .667 = two thirds. Even, and especially, in the presence of 666, a Holy Trinity will always be an important and everpresent part of a Christmas tree farmers' daughter's life, a Christmas tree farm family's life, and the lives of all whom they connect with and to. It's always been this way and it'll never be any different. The Passover sacrifice of Jesus Christ was every bit as sacred on the Christmas tree farm as it is now, and that blood covering can't be removed or washed away by anyone or anything; because the Father's eternal love will always endure far longer than any human lifetime and is far more significant and powerful than any human mistake and/or learning experience could ever be.

Strong's Concordance #1101 balal: to anoint, to overflow (specifically with oil), to mix cakes with oil, to mix, to mingle, to confound, to temper Original Word: בָּלַל

Fibonacci Sequence: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89 (A Taylor's Version Love Spiral) 8/13/2017: An important day in Taylor Swift's life… 8/14/2017: Taylor Swift Denver Victory 8/15/2017: Denver/Aurora Hail and Rainstorm 8/16/2017: Joyful Heart

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1402: Zechariah 13:8 Throughout the land--declares the Lord--Two-thirds shall perish, shall die, And one-third of it shall survive.

Acts 2:14 Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. Acts 2:15 These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning! Acts 2:16 No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: Acts 2:17 “’In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Acts 2:18 Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. Acts 2:19 I will show wonders in the heavens above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. Acts 2:20 The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.

Blood Moon: November 7-8, 2022. Monday, 7 November 2022 = 13th of Cheshvan, 5783 Parashat Vayera י״ג בְּחֶשְׁוָן תשפ״ג Parashat Vayera is the 4th weekly Torah portion in the annual Jewish cycle of Torah reading. Torah Portion: Genesis 18:1-22:24 Vayera (“He Appeared”) opens as guests inform Abraham that Sarah will give birth. Despite Abraham’s attempts to convince God otherwise, God destroys the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Sarah gives birth to Isaac, and Abraham sends away Hagar and Ishmael. At God’s command, Abraham prepares to sacrifice Isaac, but an angel of God tells Abraham to offer a ram instead.

Bleachers - Chinatown (Official Video) ft. Bruce Springsteen

Published: November 16, 2020 (321st day) Duration: 4:42 (282 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4uA85iWsIg E4uA85iWsIg EuAiWsIg aegiisuw 1+5+7+9+9+90+200+900=1221. 1221+4+85=1310. 1310+282=1592. 1592+321=1913.

Strong's Concordance #1913 Hadoram: a son of Joktan and his descendents, also son of the king of Hamath, perhaps also an official of Rehoboam, a bedroom, dorm, dormitory Original Word: הֲדוֹרָם

"Black tears on your cheek I want them in my bed I'll take you out of the city Honey, right into the shadow Because I wanna find tomorrow Yeah, I wanna find tomorrow Crying out the crazy I'll take you out of the city Honey, right into the shadow Because I wanna find tomorrow Yeah, I wanna find tomorrow with you, baby Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme that big red light And take the sadness out of Saturday night 'Cause that's just good to have what was missing We don't have to break every dream we've ever known"

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1519: Psalm 85:4 You will withdraw all Your anger, turn away from Your rage.

Taylor Swift Eras Tour Concert Experience Movie Premiere: October 13, 2023.

Seventh-day Sabbath "Ring of Fire" Solar Eclipse: October 14, 2023 Shabbat, October 14, 2023 29 Tishrei, 5784 Parashat Bereshit / פָּרָשַׁת בְּרֵאשִׁית Parashat Bereshit is the 1st weekly Torah portion in the annual Jewish cycle of Torah reading. Next read on 14 October 2023 / 29 Tishrei 5784. Torah Portion: Genesis 1:1-6:8 Bereishit (“In the Beginning”), the first parashah in the annual Torah reading cycle, begins with God’s creation of the world. The first people, Adam and Eve, eat from the Tree of Knowledge and are banished from the Garden of Eden. Their elder son, Cain, kills their younger son, Abel, and Cain is destined to a life of wandering. (HebCal.com)

Passover Sabbath: Baptism of Blood, Sabbath Ring of Fire Luke 12:49 “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! Luke 12:50 But I have a baptism to undergo, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! Luke 12:51 Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.

Psalm 1:6 (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English TANAKH) Page 1413 For the Lord cherishes the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked is doomed.

Psalm 1:6 (New International Version Christian Holy Bible) For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Psalm 1:6 (King James Version Christian Holy Bible) For the LORD knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Cherish: (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English TANAKH) 1a: to hold dear : feel or show affection for 1b: to keep or cultivate with care and affection : NURTURE 2: to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely (Merriam-Webster)

Watch over: (New International Version Christian Holy Bible) 1: as in supervise; to be in charge of (Merriam-Webster)

Know: (King James Version Christian Holy Bible) 1: to perceive directly : have direct cognition of 2: to have understanding of (Merriam-Webster)

During the Roman occupation of Israel, before they tortured and murdered Jesus Christ and destroyed the Second Temple of the Almighty Abrahamic G-d of Israel and the Hebrews, the terms "watch over" and "know" accurately described what the Romans and Roman-loyalist traitors subjected Jesus Christ and His apostles to. Those terms are found in the so-called "Old Testament" that was translated from Hebrew and Aramaic by co-conspirators of the people who actually tortured and murdered Jesus Christ, destroyed the Second Temple, committed massive genocidal and ethnic cleansing war crimes and crimes against humanity against Israel and the native Hebrew population, and created the antisemitic, genocidal, ethnic cleansing, and antichrist/satanic Sunday "Lord's Day" that led to the implosion of their empire 55 years after its implementation.

In contrast, "cherish" is the term the Jewish Publication Society's Hebrew-English TANAKH uses to describe how the Almighty Abrahamic G-d of the Abrahamic faiths loves, embraces, holds dear, and nurtures all who keep His commandments, loves and blesses the Hebrews, and all who fear, honor, and glorify the Almighty Abrahamic G-d of the Abrahamic faiths. All true students of the authentic life and teachings of Jesus Christ immediately recognize "cherish" as being 100% consistent with the reason Jesus Christ was sent, the reason and ways that Jesus Christ shared the love of His ABBA Father and laid down His life for His Father, Israel, all Hebrews, and all who would believe in Him and His ABBA Father, the Almighty Abrahamic G-d of the Abrahamic faiths. And that's why every true student of the authentic life and teachings of Jesus Christ needs to have a Jewish Publication Society translation of the Hebrew TANAKH, compare it to the closest Christian Holy Bible translation, the New International Version, and ignore the blasphemy of the "Old Testament" of the Christian Holy Bible entirely; because the "New Testament" can't exist in the same book as the "Old Testament" that completely and intentionally invalidates it.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16 doesn't state that G-d gave Jesus Christ as a Passover sacrifice to prove He is supervising and in charge of humanity (New International Version Christian Holy Bible). John 3:16 doesn't state that G-d gave Jesus Christ as a Passover sacrifice to prove He is watching humanity and knows what everyone's doing (King James Version Christian Holy Bible).

"Cherish" is the only accurate and acceptable translation that matches John 3:16 of the "New Testament" about the authentic life and teachings of Jesus Christ; but it's not found in either of what's considered to be the two most respected and accurate translations of the Christian Holy Bible; it's only found in the Jewish Publication Society's Hebrew-English TANAKH. Friday night to Saturday night is the only weekly seventh-day Sabbath for all who would be the cherished and righteous true students of the authentic life and teachings of Jesus Christ, because Jesus Christ, His apostles, and all of His followers and believers kept the seventh-day Sabbath holy every single week.

And isn't it interesting that those suffering under the 5 generation curse of the antisemitic, genocidal, ethnic cleansing, antichrist/satanic Sunday "Lord's Day" were, and still are, unable to accurately translate the same original Hebrew scriptures that Jesus Christ studied, lived, taught, and died by and for; yet the Hebrews who keep the seventh-day Sabbath holy and keep the commandments of the Almighty Abrahamic G-d of the Abrahamic faiths can and do translate the Hebrew TANAKH scriptures accurately so they're a perfect match for the Christian "New Testament"? The simple, obvious, and undeniable answer is: Psalm 1:6 (JPS Hebrew-English TANAKH), Page 1413: For the Lord cherishes the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked is doomed.

Johnson: "Son of John" (John: "Gift of G-d," "G-d's Grace") John 6:45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me.

Taylor Swift - Red (Taylor's Version)

Published: November 11, 2021 (315th day) Duration: 3:41 (221 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_rUYuFtNO4 R_rUYuFtNO4 R_rUYuFtNO fnorrtuuy 6+40+50+80+80+100+200+200+400=1156. 1156+4=1160. 1160+221=1381. 1381+315=1696.

Strong's Concordance #1696 dabar: to speak, answer, appoint, bid, command, declare, give, name, promise, pronounce, rehearse, say, be spokesman, talk, teach, tell, think, utter, work, nothing. Original Word: דָבַר

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1: Genesis 1:3 God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light.

John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1:2 He was with God in the beginning. John 1:3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1459: Psalm 40:1 For the leader. A psalm of David. Psalm 40:2 I put my hope in the Lord; He inclined toward me, and heeded my cry.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 934: Isaiah 40:1 Comfort, oh comfort My people, Says your God.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Page 1438: Psalm 24:9 O gates, lift up your heads! Up high, you everlasting doors, so the King of glory may come in!

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English) Pages 1526 and 1527: Psalm 90:1 A prayer of Moses, the man of God. O Lord, You have been our refuge in every generation. Psalm 90:2 Before the mountains came into being, before You brought forth the earth and the world, from eternity to eternity You are God. Psalm 90:3 You return man to dust; You decreed, "Return you mortals!" Psalm 90:4 For in Your sight a thousand years are like yesterday that has passed, like a watch of the night. Psalm 90:5 You engulf men in sleep; at daybreak they are like grass that renews itself; Psalm 90:6 at daybreak it flourishes anew; by dusk it withers and dries up. Psalm 90:7 So we are consumed by Your anger, terror-struck by Your fury. Psalm 90:8 You have set our iniquities before You, our hidden sins in the light of Your face.

#holy bible #tanakh #christianity #judaism #christian faith #christian living #christian life #bible study #bible scripture #bible verse #jesus christ #faith #hope #love #unconditional love #perseverance #trolls #back to the future #taylor swift #swifties #Youtube

[moonstruckwytch]

Microfic: Love Letter

first time writing to an @drarrymicrofic prompt, 81 words, Rated G, inspired by the lines ‘a letter from him / from the man that i love / a letter which i composed’ from Great Comet of 1812

“It’s sent.” Pansy hisses in his ear as they sit down to breakfast.

“What’s sent?” Draco whispers back, face twisted in confusion.

“The ever so sweet love letter you wrote to Potter last night.” One of their manicured nails digs into his wrist as he whips his head to look at them.

“Love letter? I didn’t write any - oh you absolute slag!”

Pansy’s cackle echoes through the Great Hall, and Draco feels more than sees the green eyes burning into his.

read all my microfics here

#drarrymicrofic #drarry #this came to me in approximately 30 seconds and took like... 20 minutes to write #ft nonbinary pansy parkinson b/c you can pry that headcanon from my dead body #drarry fic #draco pov #draco / harry #harry / draco #draco x harry #harry x draco #i think that covers it tags wise can you tell i’m new at this? #cor writes #cor microfics #cori microfics

[lets-steal-an-archive]

'Golden Girls' Polishes Its Scripts: Daily Revisions Geared to Sharpen Story and Hone Those Laugh Lines

TRUE OR FALSE:

Actresses Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Rue McClanahan and Betty White write their own dialogue for "The Golden Girls." (FALSE)

Older female writers write all 25 episodes each season because no one else could understand the problems of older females. (FALSE)

In order to keep the shows consistent from week to week, one writer prepares all the episodes. (FALSE)

Ten staff writers work together to prepare a season's worth of scripts. (TRUE)

It's a Monday morning in early October and on a sound stage at the small Renmar Studios in Hollywood, the "golden girls" have gathered to read a new script. This will be episode No. 60 of the series and it will air about three weeks later — on Halloween.

Everyone in the room has heard about this week's story line: Rose writes a letter to Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev. But apart from the writers, no one has seen the final script until now. It was completed on a Saturday, photocopied 150 times on Sunday and distributed this morning to NBC; co-producer Touchstone Pictures; the show's creator, Susan Harris; the show's lawyers and researchers, and the "Golden Girls" cast and crew.

"Hopefully, they'll laugh," murmurs head writer Kathy Speer as she prepares to hear the "table reading." "If they don't, we'll be here fixing the script for a long time."

The table reading really is at tables — eight of them arranged in a rectangle. The actresses and guest actors sit on one side, facing the writers. To the actresses' left are director Terry Hughes, executive producers Paul Junger Witt and Tony Thomas and co-executive producers/head writers Speer and Terry Grossman. To the actresses' right sit NBC representatives, the show's casting director and props and wardrobe personnel.

They begin. Director Hughes reads the stage directions: Interior, kitchen — day. Sophia is seated at table. She is reading book entitled 'Magic Made Easy.' Dorothy enters.

Bea Arthur, as Dorothy, reads: "Hi, Ma."

Estelle Getty, as Sophia, reads: "Give me your watch."

Another week is under way. As the actresses go through their lines, everyone else listens intently. They laugh (or don't laugh) and take notes. By the Friday-night tapings, this script will need to play at 22 minutes. But Friday is a long way off.

As soon as the table reading ends, the writers, producers, director and an NBC program executive huddle to discuss script changes. Then, while the actresses begin rehearsals using the first draft, the writers rush off to their yellow stucco two-story building nearby to begin rewriting.

"The secret of TV half-hour comedy shows is the revisions," explains Dean Valentine, NBC director of current comedy and also the program executive on "Golden Girls." "What they start out with is 75% away from what they end up with."

"I don't think this episode is going to need much work," co-head writer Terry Grossman announces cheerfully on his way back to his office. "It got a good response at the table. We just have to cut it, smooth out transitions and clarify some story points. New jokes will be the tough thing." He anticipates a few hours' work.

"Early in the first season we were throwing out whole scenes," he recalls. "Now we know what works for each lady and what she does best. That's the advantage of being in the third year of the show. The disadvantage is that stories are harder to come by."

Grossman heads into the office he shares with his wife Speer, who is also his writing partner. They are in charge of the writing staff. "That means we are the two who get yelled at the most when something goes wrong," he jokes.

Also piling into the conference-sized room are supervising producers Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan and producer Winifred Hervey. Despite their titles, Grossman explains, "We're all writers."

"We are the five most dull people," Nathan insists.

"We're much funnier on paper," Hervey adds.

These five, all in their 30s, met when they worked on "Benson," an earlier Witt-Thomas-Harris series. They have been with "Golden Girls" since the beginning, and every Monday they jointly rewrite the script being taped that week. They jokingly call themselves The Gang of Five.

While they start rewriting, the show's other five staff writers — Chris Lloyd, Jeff Ferro, Frederic Weiss, Robert Bruce and Martin Weiss — go back to their own offices to work on new scripts.

"To keep quality, you like as many writers as you can afford," Speer explains. "This year, we have six 'entities' (writing teams) — four sets of partners and two individuals. And we also use a few free-lance scripts each season."

Approximately 25% of the show's budget goes to the writers, executive producer Tony Thomas says. Staff writers on a comedy series earn a weekly salary plus separate payments for completed scripts. A free-lance writer who does a story outline, a first draft and a second draft can earn about $11,000. (Note: All outside script submissions must come through agents.)

"A good comedy requires a lot of teamwork, a lot of people sitting in a room working together," Thomas emphasizes. "A good team is rare, but it's not extremely rare. It's like winning the NBA title. We had it in 'Soap,' and we had it for some years in 'Benson.' Obviously this is one of the most successful staffs we’ve ever put together."

Both Witt and Thomas deal with day-to-day details on "Golden Girls." Harris, who created the series, is less involved this season because, according to Thomas, "She is working on a feature for Disney with us. But she reads all the scripts and is familiar with most of the stories."

Flashback to the previous Friday, a week when "Golden Girls" wasn't taping. Every fourth week during the season, the show shuts down, giving the actors and crew a rest and allowing the writers to catch up.

The Gang of Five is trying to explain how their writing process works. They insist on telling, rather than showing, because, as they say, they're shy. "At the beginning of the season, even having our new writers in the meeting made me a little uncomfortable," Grossman admits. "It slowed down the process."

"One of the most important things that exists with this group is that the bottom line is making the show as good as possible. It's still very difficult when your script is read for the first time and the material doesn't work. It hurts for a moment. But there's no time to take it personally. It didn't work, and the clock is ticking. You better keep moving and get it right."

Like all sitcoms, "Golden Girls" has a "bible," a book that synopsizes everything that has happened on a series. Thus, new writers don't have to watch all the previous episodes. But there is no master plan of what will happen in the future.

The idea for "Letter to Gorbachev" surfaced last May at a beginning-of-the-season meeting of the writers and producers. "It was one of 20 or 30 story notions kicked around," Barry Fanaro recalls. The obvious similarity to Samantha Smith's letter to then-Soviet leader Yuri Andropov isn't mentioned.

"Most of them didn't work,” adds Fanaro's writing partner Mort Nathan, "but this one sounded amusing. Because Rose is a childlike character, we wondered what would happen if she wrote a letter to Gorbachev about world peace. We started fleshing it out, but we couldn't think of a second act. We went round and round, and finally six weeks later we came up with a way to make the story work."

"The five of us went over it scene by scene and agreed it was workable," Fanaro continues. "Then Mort and I went off and wrote it. It took about 10 days because we were also working on other things."

Each "Golden Girls” episode is written to a formula: "the idea, the act break and the resolution," Grossman explains. "Usually there's an 'A' story and a 'B' story going. It's the natural structure."

Although Fanaro and Nathan, who won a writing Emmy last year for a "Golden Girls" episode, wrote the basic Gorbachev script, the story the audience will see has gone through the usual "Golden Girls" grinder: The Gang of Five read and dissect the first draft, adding new scenes, new lines, new jokes. "It's really a team effort," Grossman stresses.

The jokes can be the easiest part — or the hardest. "They're only hard to write when you've got one that isn't working," Grossman says. "A joke in the middle of a scene can be weak, but the 'out joke' — a snappy one-liner that ends the scene on a laugh — has to be strong."

"We may decide a scene needs a new opening," Speer explains. "There will be a long moment of silence. Then someone will ask if anybody's eaten at some new restaurant. In the course of conversation, somebody will say, 'Wait a minute. I have an idea.'"

"With five of us, at least one of us is paying attention," Hervey deadpans.

"Good writers should be able to write for men, women, old or young," Grossman says. "We all draw on other people in our lives — parents, grandparents. Part of the reason for the show's popularity is that these are very vital people. The very same story you've seen 100 times on every sitcom takes on new light with characters in this age group. That makes life easier for us.

"Also, these four actresses are sensational. To have the entire cast be able to give such high-caliber performances means you don't have to adjust your material. You write the material, and they deliver. If they can't make it work, there's something wrong with the material."

The week goes by quickly. On Tuesday morning, the "golden girls" read over the revised script and discover that one scene has changed considerably. Some lines have been cut, while others have been sharpened. There are several new jokes. A press conference scene has been shifted from a hotel room to the ladies' living room.

On Tuesday night, the Gang of Five works late. During the day's rehearsals they realized that the revised scene didn’t play well so they jettisoned it and added some new dialogue and a few more jokes.

Following Wednesday's rehearsals, they hone the script a little more. Time is pressing. By the Thursday afternoon dress rehearsal, the actresses try to be script-perfect, although they often aren't. By now, the original 52-page script has been reduced to 50 pages, and almost every page has had at least one alteration.

For instance, on Monday when Blanche accidentally spat Coca-Cola on a Soviet Embassy official, he responded by saying, "No apology necessary." Now he says, "No need to apologize. In Moscow, we have to stand in line four hours to get this."

Late Friday afternoon, the audience files into Renmar Studios to watch the first taping. The writers are standing by, just in case a last-minute problem occurs. During the 90-minute dinner break, while a new audience is arriving, the cast, writers and producers calmly discuss how to improve the second taping. A few lines are cut, the taping is completed, and it’s on to the next week.

Source: Mills, Nancy. 1987. 'Golden Girls' Polishes Its Scripts: Daily Revisions Geared to Sharpen Story and Hone Those Laugh Lines. Los Angeles Times, October 30, https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-10-30-ca-11702-story.html

#the golden girls #how the sausage is made #from the archives #tv writing #i just thought it was neat #long post

[sour--disposition]

Could I please request 16 and 19 with jj please

I wasn’t sure which category you meant, so I picked my favourite out of the 3 (this is general) - hope thats okay!!

“Another nightmare?” and “Hold onto me”

You watched as the flames engulfed the house around you, licking up the walls and storming across the floor. You could hear JJ banging on the walls, calling out your name. You tried to open your mouth to shout to him, to call for help, but you were choked by the smoke and the soot building up in the room.

Your hands gripped around your throat, fighting for your own voice to leave your body. You heard JJ calling you again, but his voice was softer this time. Maybe this was it… the end of the road, and your brain was trying to calm itself the only way it knew how… JJ.

You shot up in bed, gasping for breath as you clawed at the sheets around you. You couldn’t catch your breath through the sobs, but part of you couldn’t let go of the feeling of the smoke filling your lungs. You felt a hand on your lower back, rubbing small circles to soothe you.

“It’s okay”, JJ assured you, hand never stilling on your back. He let you take your time to finally take a fulfilling breath. You were still shaking, still had tears running down your face; but for the first time since you’d woken up, you could think and breathe somewhat clearly.

You reached out for JJ’s free hand, grabbing it between both of your hands and holding him close and tight, too terrified to let go for fear he’d slip away into the flames. “Another nightmare?”, he asked you, voice soft and low, so much so it was almost a deep rumble.

You nodded. “I’m sorry for waking you”, you apologised, turning your body slightly to face him. JJ just rolled his eyes at you.

“Don’t be daft”, he scoffed, squeezing his fingers around yours. “Are you okay?”, he asked. You nodded, but you knew JJ wouldn’t be convinced. “Do you need anything?”. You shook your head, no, not wanting to be a nuisance. “Do you want anything?”, he corrected himself, sticking you with a determined look.

“Can we go get hot chocolate?”, you asked, voice small and weak. JJ’s face split into his beautiful smile, already wiggling himself out of bed and pulling on some joggers. He held his hand out for you, which you gladly took, following him out of his bedroom and down the hallway.

In the kitchen, JJ hoisted you up onto the counter as he started making the hot chocolate. “Just make sure you don’t burn it”, you told him. “Be careful near the hob”, you warned him.

Once JJ had set the milk simmering, he came over and stood between your legs. “Was that what it was about?”, he asked you, voice low. You hesitated slightly before nodding. “I promise I’ll be extra safe, just for you”, he told you, before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a hug.

JJ insisted on making your drinks all by himself, only coming over to ask if he was doing it right or if you wanted to change anything. The only thing JJ let you do was pile the whipped cream and marshmallows onto the hot chocolate, smiling secretly behind you as your face lit up at the task.

You took your drinks off to bed, because nothing could go wrong with JJ and a hot drink in bed. “Please be careful”, you reminded him as he sat down with very little regard to the hot drink in his hands.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, JJ asked once you’d both gotten yourself comfy.

“Not really”, you whispered. You didn’t want to relive those feelings. Feeling like you were about to die and never see JJ again once was enough for you.

Instead, JJ filled the silence with inane chatter, not expecting you to participate if you didn’t want to. He talked about all three Sidemen channels, the next few Sidemen Sundays, ranted about Jake Paul for approximately 30 seconds before he got too annoyed and moved on to a new subject. He told you about all of his music plans, what he was writing and which of his upcoming songs he thought you’d like best. JJ spoke about whatever he could think of for the 20 minutes it took you to finish your drinks, all so you wouldn’t have to contend with your thoughts.

Once you’d put your cups onto his desk and JJ had kissed the whipped cream moustache off of your lip, the two of you got back into bed and JJ flicked off the light. You laid still, eyes staring up at the ceiling. “J…”, you whispered into the dark.

JJ made a sound, letting you know he was listening. “I’m scared to shut my eyes”, you admitted, voice quiet and watery.

“C’mere”, JJ told you, lifting his arm so you could make yourself comfy against his chest. “Hold onto me, you’ll be okay”, he promised you, running a soothing hand up and down the length of your back. You wrapped an arm over JJ’s stomach, pillowing your head in the crook of where his shoulder met his neck.

JJ dropped little kisses onto your temple and forehead, and his hand didn’t stop it’s soothing pattern, all in an attempt to lull you into a soft sleep. “I love you, Y/N”, he murmured into your hair. You let out a sleepy hum, smiling into JJ’s skin.

“I love you, too, J”.

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 6 - "way past that"

Season 7, episode 20 "The company" (the one where Derek finally finds his cousin Cindi after years she had been missing but her family had no proof of her death. At the very end, when Derek, his sister Sarah, his aunt, Cindi and her son finally gather and hug)

We love some unrequested long ass but hopefully not boring fic. Basically a follow-up to the episode, definitely not one of my best works...

Also bad news: I've just started season 8 which is the one where Reid has that thing going on with Maeve, so A) I'm gonna be depressed and frustrated for a whole ass season + B) there probably won't be any Moreid inspo here and there so I'm sorry but I probably won't write fics during this one :( I could still do some throwbacks to older seasons though, I'll see what my big (?) creative (?) brain can do

Read it on AO3

-------------

Reid was watching the scene through the blinds of the room him and the rest of the team were, chatting and finally relaxing while reordering their things, ready to go home.

He could clearly see, even from far away, that Morgan had teary eyes - but they weren't tears of sadness, nor anger. They were ones of joy and relief. Derek's aunt was hugging Cindi's kid, Derek was talking with his sister Sarah.

The young genius was totally immersed. He was so moved and happy that Morgan could finally let go of all the rage and uncomfort he had been burying inside for the past days - to be fair, those feelings had been there for months - he didn't even realize he was lopsidedly smiling to himself, like an idiot.

Everyone was getting out of the room with their hands full of stuff.

"You better pick your things up cause I wanna go home and sleep, and I'm pretty sure everyone agrees with me when I say that we won't regret leaving you here..." Emily said to him, jokingly.

"Yes ma'am, we do agree." Rossi responded.

"Mh mh." Reid mumbled, without shifting his eyes an inch from the view, barely hearing what the others were saying.

JJ sighed, resigned to the fact that he would probably be in there for another 30 minutes. "Alright. Bye Spence!"

-

The room was now empty. Reid saw Morgan looking at the team leaving, like he was awakened and brought back to the real world.

His eyes finally met Spencer's for just a split second, and in that moment Spencer immediately stopped looking, like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.

He coughed and clumsily stood up from the desk he was sitting on, starting to pick up his stuff with no specific order. Just to make it look like he had actually been doing something for the past 10 minutes, instead of watching Morgan like it was the most entertaining thing ever - it kinda was, to him. No matter the context.

Derek knew he had been looking all along. He simply didn't wanna look back at him, in the attempt to avoid drawing his sister's attention to Spencer as well.

Mission failed. 

"What you looking at?" Sarah asked after a few seconds of him being clearly distracted while she was talking.

Derek's eyes shifted back to her, raising his eyebrows and opening his mouth like he had something to say; but no valid excuse came out.

His sister turned around and saw it. She saw what had been distracting him for the past 5 minutes: Doctor Spencer Reid, sorting out his stuff in the other room. Now that the others had gone away leaving the doctor alone in there, there was nothing convincing enough Derek could say to dissuade her from gathering that he was looking at the pretty boy in the other room.

Reid looked up at the two for a second and waved at them, wearing his usual cute-kinda-awkward smile.

Sarah waved back, giggling at how geeky he was. "So...you gonna invite the guy over to dinner or something? Ever? In your lifetime?"

Derek sighed, still looking at Spencer. "I wish. It's not up to me, I don't think he'd be comfortable with that."

"C'mon why not? We've loved him since day one just like you did." she paused, recalling a memory she wasn't sure if sharing with her brother. She quickly decided on doing so.

"As a matter of fact, Desirée was the one who predicted something was up with you two just by the way you talked about him." she smirked.

"...I always talk about every member of my team. I talk about Penelope a lot. And Emily." Derek answered, frowning, like he took what his sister said as an accuse of some sort.

"Yeah, but that's different..." Sarah pointed out.

Derek didn't answer: she wasn't the first person telling him that he'd always talked about Spencer in a "different" way, since the beginning, when he hadn't even figured out his feelings for him yet. He'd come to the conclusion that he probably did that without even noticing.

There were a few seconds of silence - enough for her to notice that Derek had got back to looking at Spencer. She affectionately put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on. Go."

"I-I'm sorry sis, he's been trying to ignore me for the past two days on purpose cause I've been nervous all the time and I've been acting like a dick, honestly-"

"I know, I know, I imagined that. You owe him. We're fine." she gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed closer to her aunt and cousin, to intrude their conversation and give Derek a reason not to feel guilty about leaving her like that.

-

Morgan entered the room. Reid heard his footsteps but didn't - couldn't - turn around: he was stretching over the table to try and reach a pile of documents. He managed to pick it up and started to browse through the papers distractedly, while turning around to face him.

"You know, I was thinking that maybe-" He STARTED talking.

Derek cupped his boyfriend's face in his hands and kissed him impulsively, making Spencer breathe out a faint moan of surprise and chaotically put the files back on the desk right behind him. It took all of his physical strength and the remaining amount of attention he wasn't paying to that hot kiss not to just drop the files on the floor.

He wrapped his arms around Derek's waist and leaned closer. Without even thinking of how inappropriate that must have looked, his hands snaked under the other's t-shirt, lightly stroking his back.

The moment he felt Spencer's soft touch on his skin, Derek got goosebumps all over his body. He put a hand on the back of Reid's head, involuntarily messing his hair up, and started leaving quick kisses on his jaw and behind his ear. He knew that was a huge turn-on for him. Exactly the same way Spencer knew how huge of a turn-on was for Derek when he ran his fingers up and down his back - or abs; oh, the abs.

Spencer gasped, keeping his eyes shut. In the attempt of trying to stay on his feet, he put his hands behind him, trying to hold himself onto the edge of the desk.

Wrong move: his hands knocked off the pile of papers, spreading them all over the table and the floor. That was what - maybe luckily - interrupted the dynamic, which was clearly proceeding toward a not-suited-for-work direction.

Derek stopped teasing Spencer and rested his forehead on his, breathing heavily.

"...shit " Spencer whispered, chuckling.

"Maybe I should've closed the door." Derek said, shaking his head.

"And the blinds." Spencer added, nodding his chin toward Sarah, who immediately jerked her face the other way because she'd been caught peeking at them with the corner of her eye, from the lobby of the police dept. Derek snorted and shook his head - again.

Spencer sat on the desk, letting his feet wiggle 10 inches from the floor; still absent-mindedly looking at Derek's family through the blinds. He was sure that they had to get moving, but also didn't want one of the only moments of intimacy the two got during the day to end; even though said "moment of intimacy" eventually turned out to be Spencer yawning every 30 seconds, approximately.

Derek silently stared tilt-headed at his boyfriend with a smile printed on his face, for what seemed like an eternity, laying his eyes on everything they could reach: his gorgeous side profile; his slightly furrowed eyebrows; the golden curls that almost reached his shoulders; that absolutely nonsensical but all the same weirdly charming way he used to wear his wristwatch too loose over the unbuttoned cuff of his shirt, instead of beneath it like normal people; the collar of his wrinkled pinstripe button-down, too large to adhere properly to his slim neck. Derek rested his hand on the side of that neck of his, half entangled in his hair, caressing the very edge of his cutting jawline with a thumb.

"You know," Morgan interrupted the silence and Reid finally looked up at him with his big, brown eyes.

"Sarah asked me if I was gonna invite you to dinner one day."

Spencer smiled awkwardly and raised his brows, surprised "She did?". Derek nodded.

"Wow- I'm- I'm flattered..." he stuttered in response, half-heartedly.

"...but?" Derek got serious.

"There's no 'but', it's just- you know. I thought your family saw me as the weird and awkward kid, just like...well, everyone, really- which is totally true by the way I don't mean to play the victim or anything."

Derek laughed. "Yes, they do."

Reid frowned. Was there something he wasn't getting?

"But they love you like that."

Spencer looked away, smiling shyly. Derek cupped his jaw in one hand to make their looks meet again - he understood that Spencer loved it when he took his face like that by how he immediately gave him those eyes, every time. The adorable eyes. It worked like magic.

He bent over to whisper in his ear.

"I love you like that."

Spencer was already closing his eyes and melting in Derek's warmth, expecting one of his kisses. But Morgan wanted to tease him a little bit, so he backed away from him and walked toward the door with a smirk on his face, leaving there both Reid AND the mess of files they dropped on the floor.

"Wait!" Spencer squeaked when Derek was already on the threshold of the door.

"Nuh-huh pretty boy I ain't gonna help you with that mess. Besides: it's your fault, it's not like I pushed you or anything" he said jokingly, still wearing that smirk that made Spencer's whole body blush.

"Yeah- no, actually, it's not about that, though you could help me since we're already late and it IS kind of your fault- frankly though, it's totally your fault, what did you expect me to do? You were utterly over me, physically-"

"Baby. I was joking. What was it?" Derek interrupted the flood of words coming out of his mouth.

"Yeah sorry, uhm" he paused, his brain trying to start working again after crashing for a second at the word "baby".

He kept his eyes firm on Derek's face with his mouth open - though no words came out at all - fidgeting with his hands like he always did, not knowing what it meant to stay still. Derek raised his brows in a way that meant: "I'm listening...?".

"Why- why aren't you mad?" Spencer finally said, choosing the simplest and less mistakable way to say it.

Derek frowned. "Mad? At you? For wha- wait, did you do something I should be mad about?"

"Nonono not like that it's just, I haven't really talked to you in the past few days. And I should have been there for you with all that was going on."

"You WERE there. Just like anybody else."

"Exactly, and I should have done something more, instead I acted just like anybody else on the team, but I'm not anybody else otherwise this- us, we wouldn't make sense... right?" he waited hopeful for his boyfriend's confirmation, but his expression remained the same. "So I thought you would feel betrayed in some way, I don't know if you do feel like that and you're not telling me to not make me feel...guilty, but- but anyway I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I acted like I don't have any responsibility to you."

"Kid" Derek said softly. "we're way past the whole 'I'm here for you if you wanna talk' thing. I know that you are, and I chose not to talk about it more than we were already doing on the job. We both bear a responsibility to each other and we always both respect that" he paused. "You worked on the case, you gave me space, you hugged me when I needed a hug. That's all that matters to me and you know it inside that big brain of yours."

Reid looked like he hadn't even heard half of the talk, gazing at him with heart eyes.

Morgan paused again, expecting some sort of answer, which never came. "What? One minute you're all sorry and the next you're looking at me like- like that." he raised his hand to point toward the face he was making. "What's up with you?" he asked jokingly after a few seconds of silence.

"So we're way past that uh?" Reid quoted him timidly, like he had to make it official.

"Waaay past that." Morgan answered with an eye-roll, playing along, knowing where that was going.

"So we're...serious. Aren't we?" he questioned rhetorically, biting his lip and looking down to fake-concentrate on fiddling with the hem of his sweater vest.

"Yes, genius boy, we're serious."

Spencer nodded shortly and turned around to hide his smile; finally deciding to - once again: clumsily - pick up the files and randomly stuff some of them in his satchel, while he kept the others in his hand. If he had done that with any criteria at all, they would have all fit in the bag: that was what Derek was thinking, looking at his messy boyfriend try to un-mess things up; wondering if maybe he really should've considered offering a hand.

-

They both finally got out of the room, 20 minutes later, but Derek's family was still there. He stopped walking and grabbed Spencer's arm to make him do the same.

"Imma wait for Hotch, I'll catch up in a minute."

"Alright" Spencer nodded.

"Yeah wait, first I gotta ask you one last thing..."

"...sure" Spencer squinted his eyes, pronouncing the word slowly. Derek looked a teeny tiny bit nervous, which was unusual, to say the least.

"Does your mom know? About...us? About me ?"

Spencer grinned knowingly. "Why are you even asking, you KNOW that I tell her everything."

"...so...? "

"So I've been telling her about you since the second I met you." he paused, giving him his sweet smile. "She knew where this was going before I did." By 'this' he clearly meant them.

Derek looked down at his feet, biting his bottom lip in the attempt to contain a chuckle.

Spencer wanted to kiss him. But they were in the main lobby, there was Sarah not so far: he didn't know if Derek would be okay with it.

He hesitated a second to look around and then gave him a quick peck at the corner of his lips, so quick nobody noticed. But as soon as he pulled away a little, Derek cupped his face and kissed him way deeper. In that moment, Reid understood that Morgan really didn't care about showing everyone that they were a thing. Not even his family. He was more than just not ashamed of it - he was proud.

Spencer could have gone hours kissing like that, but he stopped. "Alright- you're gonna make me drop the files again" he mumbled breathily against his lips, smiling.

Derek laughed and shook his head, finally letting Spencer go and following him with his gaze as he walked away.

-

He looked over to his sister: she was smirking. She had been looking at them all along. Nice.

Derek scratched the back of his neck and turned around, already regretting kissing Spencer in front of them: he could only imagine the amount of embarrassing questions expecting him at the next family dinner. To which he would also have to take Spencer with, at that point.

Hotch finally got out of an office where he had been talking with God knows who about God knows what for the whole time Morgan was with Reid. He always had to do the boring, bureaucratic stuff.

"Morgan. Have you been waiting for me this whole time?" he asked, in the most ironic tone he could pull off - which wasn't THAT clearly ironic.

"Yeah- no, actually, I was- nevermind. We good to go?"

"I was kidding. I know you were talking to Reid."

Derek nodded, looking at his feet, like talking to Reid was something to keep secret. Problem is, 'talking' wasn't all they'd been doing in the other room for 20 minutes.

Hotch frowned: he sensed something was wrong - mistakenly. "Is everything alright with you two?"

"...why are you asking? Should I know something?" Derek returned the frown. Apparently, that day people thought it was real fun to say confusing things.

Hotch sighed. "Reid wanted to apologize to you for a thing. He only hinted it to me but I can guess what he was talking about."

Derek breathed out, relieved. "Yeah. There was no need to apologize but you know how he's done. We're good." he answered, trying to hide a smile that said: we're REAL good.

"Thank God. When something is wrong between you two it's a mess." Hotch smirked with an eyebrow raised, using that same "ironic" tone from earlier, which came off as such only to the team because they knew him enough to resign to the fact that that was the most ironic it could ever get.

Derek snorted, smiling, without asking for an explanation: he knew exactly that the way the whole team functioned on the job got fucked up big time when there was tension between Spencer and him.

Hotch casually patted his shoulder. "Alright, let's get on the jet already. They're all probably asleep by now."

#criminal minds #moreid #shematthew #cm #derek morgan #spencer reid #spencer reid x derek morgan #dr. reid #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds season 7 #criminal minds 7x20 #moreid one shot #moreid fanfic #m/m #bau #behavioral analysis unit #sperek #cm tag #moreid one shot 6

[joshslater]

The Cupbearer

This is a relay, doing a continuation of tamed-jock’s continuation of jd07201990′s story. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

Infection+2:25

Let's write a captains log, like Tyler and I used to do, only this time I have actual observations and events to record. It is now approximately 2 hours and 25 minutes since he placed the cup on me. I immediately went home, and have done some preliminary studies of the object.

My most immediate concern is the attachment mechanism. I can really only think of three, suction, adhesion or some sort of mechanical attachment to my... thing. Observations are a bit limited as the object responds to stimulii. In the first instance when I grabbed it in the rest room there wasn't much of a response. The feeling was similar to that of a vacuum pull in the whole area, but I'm not feeling a constant force as I would expect from vacuum. Also, when the cup was applied it felt like it was filled with, or quickly filled up with a gel of some sort.

Wanting to rule out vacuum, or in best case break the vacuum and remove the object, I attempted to insert a narrow tube from my model steam engine in between the skin and the object. That did provoke a response. It felt like the contents of the cup was rapidly replaced or infused with icy-hot gel. This entry has been delayed by approximately 40 minutes, as I have been lying on my bed and desperately trying to avoid touching it. Every time I fail I get like a pulse of renewed icy-hot in the cup.

Infection+2:50

I've decided to avoid further experiments and focus on observation and external research. The cup itself appears to be mix of carbon fiber, titanium and some other fairly high tech materials. This points to high tech origin, but beside the logotype I find no other markings like brand, manufacturer, patents, serial number etc. My first attempts to Google this kind of product or stories from someone with similar experience come up short. I took a picture of the logo, cleaned it up and sent it through USPTO image search to see if anyone has a trademark on it, but came up empty as well.

It sure smells bad. I need to come up with an excuse for mum.

Infection+6:00

I told mum that I'm having my scent-month, as if every teenage boy has one. I said Tyler just had his, so if she checks with his parents they will confirm it. Why does it smell so bad though? It is clearly the cup that emits it, since the smell came on pretty strong only seconds after Tyler attached it. Is it distraction? Is it to mask something else? Is it to make the wearer body conscious or odor conscious and avoid contact with other people? Is it to acclimate the wearer to the smell? I don't see how I can answer any of these questions purely from observation though. Something to sleep on perhaps. How do you pee with this thing?

Infection+6:15

So the pee just kind of filters out in the lower part of the cup. If you want to use a toilet you have to basically sit on it reverse, do you thing, and then wait a few minutes for it all to drain out. A big drawback is that you have to step out of pants and boxers to even sit reverse on a toilet.

Infection+10:20

I think the damn thing just woke me up. Or I'm just have a restless night because of all that is happening, and more importantly what will happen. Fuck you Tyler!

Infection+12:05

It's definitely the cup that woke me. Just as I was waking up I could feel some sort of vibration down there. What other crazy shit have they packed into the device. My bedroom smells like a locker room. Thanks Tyler!

Infection+13:55

Fuck it, I'm getting up. I'll pee in the shower.

Infection+14:20

So that didn't work as well as I hoped. I could pee fine, but when I turned on the shower it was like pouring water in a gym shoe. If it smelled bad before, it absolutely reeks now. I think I'm gonna steal one of mum’s pads and tape it to the front, since it is still leaking God knows what and then wrap it in plastic and hope that contains the worst of it.

Infection+17:30

I didn't think of mobility enough. Jeans are clearly out of the question, so I went to school in chinos. It's bad enough that the cup is rigid, over sized and fully attached. Add to that some extra padding and cram it in chinos that aren't exactly lose to begin with, and you have something that looks funny stationary and awkward/hilarious when moving.

If I walk slowly I think I might come up with a gait that might be described as exaggerated jock sway, which would be step up from whatever ludicrous I'm doing now. Damn, I should have practiced yesterday.

I need to find some better pants, because these are too tight and restrictive.

Infection+21:30

My efforts to contain the smell isn’t fooling anyone, but I hope it just smells like I have a bad hygiene day. My crotch is a sauna though. The plastic wrap needs to go. Tyler kept his distance. I wonder if he is ashamed, or if he doesn't give a shit. Perhaps they have some sort of protocol he adheres to.

Day 2, 4:40 pm

Let's stop fucking around with the childish infection timer. This is serious. I found something sobering when doing some online patent search.

I was just blindly trying to find patents for any of the different things this cup does, and managed to find a description on "bio-polymer adhesion complex and application for individualized restriction control". I don't understand more than a fraction of what is written, but in the schematics there is a drawing of EXACTLY the cup I'm wearing. The list of example uses in the description includes prison inmates and persons under house arrest. This is a retrofitted fucking ankle bracelet.

It's originally designed to never come the fuck off through tampering. Fuck.

Day 2, 6:30 pm

Mum gave me some Vichy Laboratories excessive odor control deo roll on she bought at the pharmacy. Roll on to what, exactly? Well, she can only solve problems she knows about I guess. Should I tell her? Would she mind having a sports jock son? She would probably tell me to do whatever makes me happy. Would I be happy? Tyler certainly looks pretty fucking pleased.

Day 2, 8:20 pm

I've not spent that much time on wanking before. Like once or twice a month. But now that I can't my mind kind of wanders to it all the time. I've done some, let's call it research, that you can orgasm pretty well by putting something in your ass. Not doing that.

Day 2, 9:46 pm

Got some weird hot flashes in the cup while taking a shower. Smells as bad post shower as the last time. I don't know if it is the smell or I'm tired, but I went to bed early. I'm too hot and sweaty to fall asleep though.

Day 3, 2:12 am

Can I go to the police? This is clearly some sort of assault. Tyler would be the first one under the bus. Perhaps the coach. Probably not further than that. This is backed by serious money after all, so they will just protect themselves and their IP. Does it really matter though? By the time they've forced any action I've had this thing on me for a month, I've grown a donkey dick and gone completely mad. Much good some cash compensation will do then. And do I want to punish Tyler? Fuck yeah I want, but not like that. He's a victim too.

Go directly to a hospital then? If I can't figure out what this thing is or does, how would hospital staff be any better. They'll probably start cutting around it, and there is no telling how it will respond. It was designed to never come off, at least not without a fight. Probably horribly so, to set an example.

Day 3, 2:28 am

I'll try to sleep in the garden. It's cooler outside and doesn't stink.

Day 3, 4:51 am

Dozed off a bit I think.

I've been thinking about the construction of the cup. There are a some design details that has been nagging me. For something that small it appears to be almost magical in abilities and power storage. But then it hit me, it's not crammed packed with batteries, electronics, vials of chemicals and all other stuff you might need to build something like this.

It's biological. Perhaps not in the "alive" sense of an organism, but "alive" in the sense a virus is alive. It's a biochemical robot following instructions encoded in DNA, or something like it. If you consider it a manufactured parasite it all makes sense. It has access to the resources of a full human body and can leech heat energy and pee chemicals off the body indefinitely. The "bio-polymer" attach to the skin, and perhaps even have direct access to nerve impulses. There is really thin membranes in the dick, so it can probably send stuff directly into the blood stream as well.

Fuck.

Day 3, 9:36 am

I just realized I can't remember a thing that has been said so far in school today. I need to cum!

Day 3, 11:23 am

Becky spent her presentation on "Manspreading". She probably started working on the talk already last week, knowing her, but she clearly directed a lot of the points directly at me. Looked directly my way for most of the talk. No, Becky, I'm not subconsciously asserting dominance.

I CAN'T PHYSICALLY CLOSE MY LEGS, BECKY!

I found a different pair of chinos that works better, Becky. No matter what I do, there will be a pretty sizable bulge down there though, Becky.

Day 3, 14:02

God Dammit! The inside of the cup just went super cold 10 minutes into math class. I couldn't finish a single thing. Just not jumping and screaming was hard enough. It's mostly back to normal now, I think.

Day 3, 15:14

This is what I think happened. They started to test the cups on inmates. By mistake it started to leak chemicals or active DNA from the device into the inmates. They had tested the cup technology artificially before, on pigs perhaps, and hadn't seen these effects. But they didn't put it on the pig’s dick, did they.

So suddenly their inmate control device has turned into the worlds best slow release injector for men. Perhaps even the original formula made dicks grow. They just made the minimal needed changes and paid coach to start human trials on teenagers.

Then why the fuck do I need to keep this log? They must have so much more data on what is done to us to have a useful trial. I guess this might come in handy in the inevitable court case.

Day 3, 16:40

I'M SO HORNY ALL DAY.

I went to have a cold shower. If anything things just went even worse. How is this happening! FUCKING FUCK TYLER FUCK

Day 3, 20:18

Why do I have to do this? I know what the end point is going to be. A fucking dumb, arrogant jock dick. Assuming it is inevitable, and I don't see any way out, why not have it over and done with tomorrow. Just walk to the gallows and submit. Whatever that thing is doing, physically and mentally, is minimized the sooner it's off me. Back when Becky would speak with me she told me a rumor that the nerds gone jocks all had monster cocks. She didn't say anything about the regular jocks, so it probably is specific to this procedure.

And if they, the old jocks, are not joining up hand over fist to get such dicks, the procedure itself, or the side effects, must be pretty discouraging. Otherwise they would just cram the cup down their own pants.

Let's get rid of this thing first thing in the morning.

Day 3, 11:49 pm

Fuck, it vibrates.

I've been sweating balls, trying to sleep naked without any sheets. I was just sort of tugging at it, to see if I could feel anything in the dick, when it started to vibrate. It's been going for like 15 minutes now.

Day 4, 2:11 am

I smell.

The cup stinks, but I smell. While trying to ignore the humming dick I noticed that my armpits smell like moist gym bag.

I showered like 10 hours ago. That's never been a problem before, so it's definitively changing me somehow.

I fucking need this thing off me ASAP!

Day 4, 2:20 am

fucking god dammit it went ice cold again

Day 4, 7:38 am

So I went to the locker room. Once inside I realized I didn't really have a plan. What if they were not all in on it? I would appear like a lunatic, ranting about sci-fi balls cups. Turns out I didn't need to worry. First guy who saw me, Derek or Devin or something. Big guy, short buzz, looks intimidating. Anyway, he saw me and started shouting "You are not supposed to be here." I was like "I need to get something removed".

He walked up right into my face. "You are not on the list. Tyler fucked up so someone has to be punished. Fuck off!"

I hesitated to leave. He took one step forward, physically pushing me backwards and almost had me trip over. "GET OUT!" he shouted right in my face.

Day 4, 9:16

I've been locked inside the disabled toilet and crying since leaving the locker room. How long can I go with this thing on? You physically die after about a week without sleep, but it is letting me sleep in short bursts, so perhaps it could keep up indefinitely. I can't. I won't. Why shouldn't I just tell everything to mum, have her call the school, the coach, the press. Whatever is needed for someone to get this thing off me.

I should think this over carefully. But how is that possible if you are sleep deprived, horny AF and your dick is on vibrate mode? I can't stay here though. I'll walk home and tell mum first thing she gets home.

When I open the door, the first thing I see is Tyler, leaning against the opposite wall and smiling a smirk.

- Sup bro? - FUCK YOU! You ruined my life! - It was a shit one anyway. You should get another one. - That's not happening either, is it?

Suddenly I was bawling my eyes out. Exhaustion, sleep deprivation, rejection, horniness, anger. It was all coming together.

- Heyyy bro, come here.

I fucking hated him, but somehow I didn’t just bolt. I walked right into his arms and let him hug me. I realized that his change in appearance and personality had obscured his bodily changes. Just feeling his arms around me, I could tell he had gotten a lot stronger.

- You know Steve O'Conner in the chess club, right?

It was such an odd non-sequitur. I had to struggle a bit, but yeah, I'd helped him with a science project last year.

- A little bit, why? - I talked things over. Give him this and you are back on the list, second place.

He handed me another cup, packaged in a sealed, tearable plastic bag. I know I should feel sorry for Steve, but the only thing I could think of was my vibrating dick.

[calumsvapor]

wherever you are | c.h

word count: 2357

warnings: cursing

pairing(s): calum hood/reader

notes: soulmate au. the povs in this are kind of weird. it’s 2nd person, but you don’t get that good of a view into the reader’s thoughts until near the end. it’s sort of from calum’s point of view but not really. idk just read it lmao :)

for as long as he could remember, the skin on his chest above his heart was occupied by the small lettering. by the time he entered grade school, calum knew that the letters spelled out the lyrics to his soulmate’s favorite song.

once he entered high school, calum was convinced he didn’t even have a soulmate. surely it was possible for the universe to mess up, or maybe his soulmate died earlier on in their life. all calum knew for certain was that the song the lyrics came from didn’t exist.

despite this fact, he was still amazed by the people all around him, brushing hands with someone they barely knew, locking eyes, and grinning from ear to ear as their markings flashed red before fading into their skin. 

calum wanted to write the songs that people fell in love with. he wanted his lyrics tattooed above the hearts of the people who would bump into their soulmate while rushing through the halls, or while standing in line at a coffee shop. he wanted to write the songs that people listened to on repeat, sitting alone in their bedroom, trying to hear a small piece of their other half in the melody.

the years flew by, and before he knew it, he was writing songs and performing. he and his friends from australia had become more and more popular with each passing month, and their songs were played all over the world. calum’s dreams had come true.

so why did he still feel so empty?

maybe it was because he and the rest of the band were still in the middle of their new album, and he hadn’t completely figured out the lyrics to one of the songs he was writing for it yet.

or maybe it was because everyone around him was meeting and settling down with the people who they knew would complete them for the rest of their lives. even most of his bandmates and crew had someone. michael had crystal. luke had sierra. 

and calum had his guitar and his notebook.

“why do you think you don’t have a soulmate, cal? you’re a great guy and anyone would be lucky to have you.” 

calum sat on his plush leather couch, on the phone with his friend and bandmate, ashton irwin. due to the pair’s single statuses, around 50% of fans were completely convinced they were each other’s soulmates, which wouldn’t be too bad, honestly, besides the fact that his favorite lyrics were most definitely not from an ariana grande song.

“because i’ve googled this one line about a million different times on a million different days, hoping that maybe some singer somewhere just came out with a new song and i’ll finally get a sign that i won’t be alone forever.”

“maybe that just means you have to write it yourself.”

of course. why hadn’t he thought of that before? 

“sorry ash, i have to go write a song. i’ll call you later.”

with a chuckle and an “alright,” ashton ended the call, leaving calum alone with his thoughts. 

after around three hours of sitting alone with his guitar and his notebook, with approximately zero ideas and zero words written on the paper, calum set down his things and decided to find a nearby cafe to take a break. he was in los angeles, after all, and anyone who lived within 20 miles knew there was no shortage of coffee shops.

once calum decided on a fitting store to get his caffeine fix, he ordered his drink and sat down at a small table by the window. instead of pulling out his phone and brainstorming like he expected, calum found himself switching his gaze between the street beyond the window and the barista behind the counter, making his drink. 

hey, just because he doesn’t have a soulmate, doesn’t mean he can’t recognize a pretty girl when he sees one.

eventually, his name was called, and he left the swirling mess of a chasm that was his mind and walked over to the pickup counter. as he was handed his drink, he met eyes with the woman who he’d been observing just moments before. the woman, of course, was you. the cafe was empty, save for calum and yourself, so he had no problem with making small talk - just a little mindless flirting - even if it was simply to kill time. 

“busy day, huh?” he said, a small smirk adorning his features. you let out a shy laugh, and for some reason, calum found himself thinking that if somehow, someway, you turned out to be his soulmate, it wouldn’t be so bad.

“yeah, i’m absolutely swamped. you wouldn’t believe how many people come in for coffee at 2 pm on a tuesday in the middle of a workweek.”

“since you have so much time, why don’t you sit down and have some coffee with me?” calum quipped, the smile on his face never fading.

with a smile and a nod of your head, you maneuvered around the counter and walked over to the table for two calum had previously been sitting at. 

“so, i’m just gonna cut to the chase,” calum started, “what’s your favorite song?”

“if i’m being honest,” you said, pausing, “i would have to say i don’t know. none of the music i’ve heard so far has really spoke to me enough to be considered my favorite song, and on top of that, i’m not really that in touch with current music.”

the bright smile on your face wavered as you met calum’s eyes.

“sorry, i know it’s a really important topic, given how things are, but i just don’t have an answer,” you finished with a sheepish, almost guilty smile.

“don’t even worry about it, it was a dumb question anyway. if it makes you feel any better, my soulmate’s favorite lyric is from a song that doesn’t even exist. just don’t tell the gossip magazines.”

“why would i tell the- oh. you’re famous, aren’t you? i knew i recognized you from somewhere!”

calum laughed a bit at your obliviousness.

“yeah, i’m the bassist for 5 seconds of summer. maybe you’ve heard of us?”

“mhmm! i think i’ve heard a few of your songs. she looks so perfect, right?”

“you really need to catch up on modern music, sweetheart.”

blushing at the nickname, you asked calum for some song recommendations, and you spent the rest of the afternoon discussing anything and everything, right up until customers started getting more frequent at around 4.

“so what days do you work? can i swing by tomorrow around the same time?” calum asked, fiddling almost nervously with his fingers, a stark contrast from his bold and flirtatious behavior from earlier. 

you grinned and nodded happily, then waved goodbye to him as the door swung open then closed again, the bells hanging above it making a pleasant ringing sound.

on his walk home, calum couldn’t stop thinking about you. and yet he couldn’t figure out why. the fact that you didn’t have a favorite song meant nothing. it was just too good to be true. he had lived 23 years of his life, happily believing, no, knowing, that he was soulmate-less. and honestly, he felt it was for the better. he could focus on his music. he could focus on his dream. he was living out his dream right now, and if not having a soulmate was what it took, it was well worth it.

so when he finally got home, calum flopped back down on his couch and scribbled down the lyrics he had memorized by heart before he even turned 13.

he then stared at the paper for a good 30 minutes.

it almost felt like stealing. the lyrics, in theory, were his, and it wasn’t like some other artist had written them into a song yet, so there wouldn’t be any legal issues, but he didn’t really come up with them himself, did he? were they really his to write and record if it was just dumb luck that had tattooed those words onto his chest?

“what do you need, cal?” ashton’s groggy voice sounded from the other end of the phone.

calum had gone about his usual evening routine, then decided to go to bed around 10, since there was nothing left for him to do. but then after 3 hours of laying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling, he decided he needed some help.

“i really don’t know if i should write this song, ash. i have absolutely no ideas for the melody, the lyrics don’t even feel like mine, and honestly i’ve been doing just fine without a soulmate. i don’t really see why that has to change now. not to mention that i just met some girl at a cafe and she’s… i don’t even know.”

“cal, slow down. do you want me to be honest with you? i mean completely and totally honest?”

“yeah?”

“you should write the song. and i think the reason you haven’t yet is because you’re scared. you’re scared that even after you finish this fucking song, you still might not find her. you’re scared that this girl you met isn’t gonna be your soulmate, and you’re scared that you’re going to be alone forever, surrounded by everyone that already met their soulmates, and you’re going to feel like complete and utter shit for ever believing that you had a soulmate in the first place. and i think that’s complete bullshit. you can’t just throw away your one chance at finding someone because you’re scared. that’s not how the world works. now goodnight, calum. think about it.”

with that, ashton hung up, leaving calum in the dark of his room, his words playing like a broken record in his head. and even though he hated to admit it, ashton was right. and he’d put this off for far too long already.

after you and calum’s first meeting, you were disappointed to say you didn’t see him again for another two weeks, and by the end of the first, you had accepted the fact that he just wasn’t interested in you once he realized you didn’t have a favorite song. 

which was completely understandable, seeing as once you hit your 20’s, it seemed like people only cared about meeting their soulmates as quickly as possible.

so you could imagine your surprise when, exactly at 1:45 pm, the bells dinged softly and the cafe’s doors swung open, calum emerging from behind them, swinging his phone around like a trophy and smiling wider than you thought possible.

“hey, y/n,” he said, breathless to the point where you almost believed he sprinted all the way there.

“hey, cal,” you replied, matching his elated expression, “what can i get for you?”

“you can sit down with me and listen to this,” calum gasped, still trying to catch his breath. 

“and what’s this?” you asked, motioning to the file pulled up on his phone, his thumb hovering over the play button, and his other hand holding out a pair of headphones for you.

“modern-day music.”

you grabbed the headphones out of his hand, inserting one into your ear and motioning for him to take a seat. once the two of you had been situated at a two-person table, he put the other earbud in and clicked play. 

once the three minutes of the song were over, you took the earbud out and stared at him in awe.

“shut. up.” you said, no hint of a smile on your face.

calum’s gleeful expression dropped to a look of confusion.

“you wrote that?! no fucking way!”

a look of relief passed over calum’s face as he grinned at you once more.

“yep. took me two weeks.”

“so that’s what you’ve been doing while you were too busy to visit me. i can’t say i’m angry.”

the two of you took some time to catch up on everything that had happened since you first met. you’d been coming into work and interviewing at various jobs in your free time, and he had been writing and spending time in the studio recording the demo you’d just heard.

as the pleasant conversation dwindled to an awkward silence, you finally remembered what you were going to say when you’d first heard the song.

“by the way, i think i finally have an answer to your question. that song is and will always be my favorite song.”

“you really mean that? you’re not just saying that to be nice?”

calum honestly couldn’t believe his ears. he may have been living out his dream of making music, but during the past two weeks, he’d learned enough about himself to know that a life with you was his new dream, whether it was as soulmates or just as friends.

“would i lie to you?”

calum smiled at that.

“no, at least i hope not.”

“i especially liked that one line…”

you then proceeded to recite the lyrics written on his chest word for word.

“it’s just amazing how you can write such meaningful and amazing lyrics. i could never do anything like that. i remember once in like 7th grade we had to write a song about the louisiana purchase or something and it was absolutely terrible. i mean we got an A, but that was only because-”

“can i kiss you right now?”

and with that, your rambling was stopped in its tracks.

“what?”

“you heard me,” calum said, the same smirk on his face as when you first met him.

with that, you leaned across the table, grasped the collar of his t-shirt tightly, and pulled him forwards. calum let out a short gasp of shock at your uncharacteristic boldness.

as the tips of your noses touched together, you felt a strong burning sensation right above your heart. as you looked down, you noticed a red glow, shining through the thin fabric of calum’s shirt. 

calum placed his large, warm hands over your own as you looked straight into his deep brown eyes.

“take me on a date first, cal.”

#5sos #5sos x reader #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #ashton irwin #x reader #calum x reader #calum x oc #calum hood x reader #calum x y/n #calum hood x y/n #calum hood/reader #calum/reader #soulmate alternate universe #soulmates #soulmate #au #soulmate au #fanfiction #michael clifford #luke hemmings #sierra deaton #crystal leigh #wherever you are #sophauthors

[ahgapride98]

REFLECTION ABOUT GOT7’S COMEBACK

Hello baby birds! I know it has been a long time since I last posted and I’m so sorry about it, I’ve been extremely busy with college and life in general and couldn’t find time to post anything here. But… good news: I’m finally free and I plan on finishing my ‘Memory Lane’ series, but first I need to address some things regarding this comeback that I’m not so happy about.

1. GOT7’s ‘Eclipse’ MV views in the first 24h. It’s no secret that we only got 6’5M views for Eclipse in the first 24h after its release (less than the views for ‘Miracle’ and ‘Focus On Me’ – JUS2 subunit). Now, I don’t really know who we should blame for this: YouTube or ourselves? While streaming the MV I noticed that the views were frozen for approximately 1h whole hour, and the worst part of all is that we never got those views back. I was so mad at YouTube for doing us dirty when we were putting all of our best efforts there for the boys (we had a great start, 500.000 views in just 1h after the release); But another thing I also noticed was that our streaming party didn’t really work, it was like ahgases were not working together to reach our 15M goal. It almost felt like we weren’t there, and that makes me sad because we almost got the same result as we did with ‘Look’ (6M views). I really had big hopes of breaking Lullaby’s record (10M in the first 24h), but it seems like we are going backwards instead of forward. This made me feel like the fandom decreased instead of growing - something that is not true because our fandom got bigger after the world tour. Now, like I said before, I don’t know if we should blame YouTube for this or ourselves. I honestly think it’s a combination of both, YouTube really did us dirty but we should have tried harder for our boys. (Funny thing: our views in the first 24h were really low but we managed to reach 30M views in just 5 days, beating our own record…).

2. Melon issue. This is something I talked about in my ‘Lullaby Comeback Reflection’ post, and I still think the same thing. I don’t know why Melon hates us, but they do. On the first day (20/05), we debuted at number 52, and just went downhill from there reaching the 71st place. Then, on the second day (21/05), it seemed like we went up for a bit and managed to reach the 45th position, then we dropped to 55 and from there we charted 100 and eventually disappeared from the chart. On the third day (22/05), we appeared again at number 90 only to drop to the 91st place, and then go up to 75. Finally, on the fourth day (23/05), we charted the 82nd place and after that we disappeared from the chart. As you can see our results are not good enough, ‘Eclipse’ charted really low compared to other songs. On top of that, we only charted for four days before completely disappearing from the Melon chart. I’m positive this is Melon’s doing, they did us dirty in our last comeback too and I wouldn’t be surprised if they are supressing our listeners and sabotaging our streaming party. I’m so sorry for the boys because they worked really hard for this, but their efforts are still not recognised in Korean charts (specially Melon).

3. Timing. This is a really important point. We have to be honest and admit that GOT7’s comeback came in the worst time ever. First of all, it was scheduled shortly after Bambam’s ‘Black Feather Tour’ in Thailand, Jackson’s birthday fan meeting in China and JUS2 debut and tour. Many ahgases spent a lot of money buying the new subunit albums and tickets for all the shows. Also, we have the world tour just around the corner, so it makes sense that many ahgases prefer saving their money to buy tickets for the tour instead of buying the new albums. On top of that, we can’t forget that the majority of the fandom are teenagers and young adults that have final exams around this time of the year (myself included, the day of the comeback I had my first final exam in college). This obviously made the fandom focus on other things that were by far more important to us than the comeback (sad but true).

4. Sales – Album stock. This is closely related to the last point. Because of the timing the comeback was scheduled, our sales weren’t good either. On the first day, we sold 62,002 copies (our best result ever), but throughout the week we only managed to sell 214.125 copies (not good enough to win on music shows). Now, this has to do with the lack of stock: for some reason there weren’t enough albums and a lot of ahgases had to wait until Wednesday to be able to purchase them (that’s a whole day lost there, thanks for nothing JYP…). I don’t understand why this happened, especially if we take into account that GOT7 is the best album-seller under JYP Entertainment (‘Eyes On You’ sold 223.844 copies in the first week, the best-selling album under the company). They should have been more prepared and have stock ready knowing that even though GOT7 are not digital monsters, the rock with album sales.

5. Music shows. We don’t have to be geniuses to know that with our bad charting and lower sales, we have very few options of winning with ‘Eclipse’, even if we do well with MV views. In music programs, they give more importance to digital sales than physical album sales, and since we are not even charting anymore (in most charts), I am going to be honest here and say that I don’t think we are going to win anything (‘You Are’ 2.0). My thoughts are based -specially- after today’s Show Champion: we were nominated but didn’t win. Usually the time to bring trophies home is during the first week after the comeback was released (or the second week of promotions), after the first week winning is really hard. But based on our horrible start and everything that happened last week, I don’t think we are going to get any trophy with this comeback (just my opinion, I could still be wrong).

EDIT: I WAS WRONG, WE WON ON MCOUNTDOWN (30/05), MUSIC BANK (31/05) AND INKIGAYO (02/06)!!!!! 💚💚

6. JYP Division 2 - Promotions. This is something that has to do with this comeback, but also something that I have been accumulating for months now. The way Division 2 handles and promotes GOT7 is pure shit, it’s like they are not even focusing on them. First, they barely put them on variety shows, and the only one they went to -Idol Room- was lacking promotion music wise; and the promotion period is just two weeks (meaning that this upcoming week is the last one we will be seeing them on music shows). They spent the first 30 minutes of the program talking and messing around with Doni and Coni, and then introduced ‘Eclipse’. For a non GOT7 fan, an outsider, this could get boring pretty fast. Secondly, the album stock situation: because of that mistake we lost sales, sales that were crucial for music shows. Thirdly, the time they decided to release the comeback was extremely bad calculated, they should have known this could happen. Also, their decision of debuting a new subunit and sending Bambam on tour was something benefitial at the moment but with not so good long term consequences, as everything now seems rushed and poorly done. I understand that it’s really hard to schedule comebacks, specially if we take into account the company as a whole: Itzy’s debut - JUS2 debut / Jinyoung drama - StrayKids comeback - Twice comeback - Itzy comeback - GOT7 world tour - Twice world tour - StrayKids world tour... but even though everything is packed, I still think that things could have been done differently. There’s something wrong with the management team in Division 2 that is affecting GOT7 negatively, and that also makes me fear for Itzy (as both groups are under this division).

7. JYP strict rules towards fans – Fansigns problems. This point has to do with issues that happened weeks prior to the comeback, but that is clearly affecting the promotions. In case you didn’t know, ‘fans’ followed GOT7 members everywhere (yes, even to their homes), the situation got so out of control that even the boys had to post in their personal Instagram accounts the official statement released by JYP Entertainment, and because of that JYP reinforced the rules that ahgases must follow when they are with the boys. But this rules have gone as far as to not even allowing the fans to touch or high five the members in fansigns (now, let’s remember that the fans that go to the fansigns have spent a ridiculously huge amount of money on albums just to get the chance of going), and not letting the members write the names of the fans in the albums (they just basically sign the album and that’s it). And not only that, recently ahgases that went to one of the fansigns last week took to Twitter to express their discontent with how they were treated by the staff. I’ll leave some of the messages that ahgases posted on Twitter:

I do agree that we must protect the boys, and I think those rules are great to be followed outside. But on a closed space with security to watch over everything that’s going on in the event, not allowing fans to even get a high five with the members is going a bit too far. Also, the staffs’ attitude needs to be checked: they are there working, not having fun with their friends. They should know their position in the fansigns, and not disturb the conversations going on between fans and the members of GOT7. I really hope JYP Entertainment thinks things over, because if not the consequences could be catastrophic. Take as an example the upcoming tour, no info about VIP tickets has been released yet. In fact, for the America leg of the tour there are no VIP tickets. That makes me wonder how things are going to be done in the tour.

8. Album and comeback thoughts (focused on just the boys and music). After so many negative comments, the only good thing about all of this is seeing the boys together and doing what they love. I can’t express with words how happy I am to see them together again after so much time. Also, the whole album is a bop. It’s the bop of the year (fight me on that): all the songs are amazing, the vocals, the raps, the lyrics, the music, the style, the concep... just everything is out of this world. I’m so glad that they get to perform on stage and carry out the message this album has. I couldn’t relate more with the meaning of this album, and I know we all ahgases feel the same way. Even though a lot of negative things have happened in the past few weeks, I’m still happy to see they are back and better than ever. As their fans, the only thing we can do is support them no matter what and be there for them just like they are here for us when we need them the most. Also, I can’t wait for the tour to start and I can’t wait to see them again this year. I’m so excited that just listening to the songs of the last tour makes me feel tingly on the inside!

Well baby birds, that’s it for today’s post. I’ll update my ‘Memory Lane’ series as soon as possible as some of you have been asking for the remaining members. I love you all!!! 💚🐥💚

#got7 #igot7 #ahgase #im jaebum #im jaebum smut #mark tuan #mark tuan smut #jackson wang #jackson wang smut #park jinyoung #park jinyoung smut #choi youngjae #choi youngjae smut #bambam #bambam smut #kim yugyeom #kim yugyeom smut #got7 spinning top #got7 world tour #jyp got7 #jyp entertainment #jyp nation

[marymccartneyphotos]

"Food" and Family: The Photographer on Her Mum, Vegetarian Myths and Why She Will Never Be Martha Stewart

June 1, 2012-- Wallstreet Journal

Mary McCartney takes one look at me and begins dictating her favorite breakfast smoothie recipe: one banana, a tablespoon of milled flax seeds, one cup of rice milk, a small tablespoon of superfood powder and a scoop of whey protein. "That way, you will be set up for the day," she says, regarding me in a maternal, slightly concerned fashion. "I mean, when did you last eat?" I have known McCartney for 15 years. She shot her first fashion pictures for me when I was editor at Frank magazine in 1998, to accompany the diary her sister Stella wrote about putting together her first collection for the fashion brand Chloé. Over the years, as her fame as a photographer has grown, we have worked together on various projects. Now, as working mums on the same school run, we continue to bump into each other, occasionally stopping to chat and compare teenage-boy war stories. McCartney last year gave birth to her fourth child — her second son with film director Simon Aboud; she has two others with former husband Alistair Donald. This month, the 42-year-old launched her cookbook "Food," inspired by the memory, cooking methods and recipes of her beloved mother, the late Linda McCartney. Mary has been a consultant on her mother's brand Linda McCartney Foods for over a decade.

My mum was a rock 'n' roll cook. 

She cooked more on instinct than by measuring. She appreciated food. She would never, for example, have eaten a Mars bar when she could eat really good chocolate. 

For mum, the kitchen was the social hub. 

She always liked people coming in and hanging out with her while she cooked. I'm the same. I like to cook for a reason—mainly for the kids, or if I have friends coming over.

My parents would challenge each other to cook great veggie meals. 

My dad was always saying: Right, well, if I'm no longer eating meat, then what can we eat that is as delicious? He is a northern guy, and everything at that time revolved around the meat on the plate. It still does, I think, as opposed, for example, to Italy, where meat is just an ingredient, not the main constituent of a meal.

There's a preconception that veggie food is complicated and time-consuming. 

I wanted to dispel that. I like to spend about 30 minutes or less on a recipe, and I use ingredients that are easily obtainable.

My mum never wore an apron when she cooked, and neither do I. 

When I look back on her style, I think of it as easy and cool. The kitchen was no different to anywhere else in terms of how she dressed. I think if you are relaxed, it comes through in your cooking. I will admit, though, that having a mum who wore weird stuff and argyle socks was kind of embarrassing when I was at school. 

My boys cook with me. 

I learned so much from my mum about where food comes from and how to prepare it; I figure they will do the same. Plus, they are much more likely to eat it if they have had a hand in preparing it.

I always said no to writing a book because it's not my arena. 

I'm a people person, which is why I'm a photographer—I like to tell a story with pictures not words. Writing is too much like homework. But then, because I support Meat Free Mondays and I wanted to illustrate to people that veggie food can be interesting and easy, I agreed. When the book first arrived, I looked at it and thought: Now, this is why I did it. 

Actually, I finally said yes to the book because my husband pitched the idea to me. 

He has an advertising background, so he's very persuasive. He pitched the idea of us having this recent baby, too.

Food carries with it so many memories of my family. 

My sister does the same thing with clothes that I do with food. When I look at Stella's collections, I see a bit of my mum's boho and vintage influence and some of my American grandfather's seersucker, lawyer-suits vibe. When I go to watch Stella's runway shows, I feel very nostalgic.

I read a recent review of my book and it said, "nice pictures, but I bet she didn't come up with the recipes." 

I was like, What!?, because I came up with all the recipes, which were really what I grew up with but healthier—my mum used a lot of cream. I try to enhance what I already know and love, and make it indulgent but good for you.

I tried to treat the food I was photographing like I would the portrait of a person. 

There was no food varnishing on my shoots—I didn't even have a prop stylist. It was manic. I was making the food, then putting it onto or into vintage-y plates and bowls, then sticking it somewhere like a windowsill and framing the shot. As a family, we have bad memories of chargrilled vegetables and couscous, which was traditionally all that was on offer in restaurants in the '70s if you were vegetarian. Consequently, neither appears in my book or on my table—ever!

Everything that surrounds food is really complicated. 

There's so much shame attached to what we eat and guilt about what we weigh. I think celebrating good, healthy food is part of the answer. Wouldn't it be interesting if every person in the country could have a therapy session about how they feel about food?

I have a very clear memory of the first time food changed my mood. 

I was having a bad day and my aunt took me out, and I had a grilled cheese sandwich, chips and a milkshake. I remember realizing afterward that the meal had actually made me feel better.

My step-grandmother on my mum's side taught me to bake. 

She was French and a little scary—always saying things like: Children do not run in the apartment. But when I got older, we became friends through cooking. She taught me the value of measuring things and of having an oven thermometer. Those two things are fundamental to my cooking today.

My dad loves home baking, and I think there's a link between my interest in food and making people happy. 

I love it if everyone eats everything on their plate.

You can tell a good restaurant by the excellence of their vegetarian dishes or menu. 

I like Raymond Blanc's Manoir aux Quat'Saisons, E&O in Notting Hill, Le Caprice and Scott's — places with a nice ambience. 

I'm a huge fan of straightforward, chuck-it-all-in cooks like Nigel Slater and Jamie Oliver, who celebrate food, and I detest anything complicated. 

What's the deal with all that foamy, fiddly stuff?

I remember my childhood as very normal. 

We went to a comprehensive, where we kept our heads down because we didn't want to be seen as different. We ate at a certain time, did our homework and, every so often, we'd go on an amazing trip somewhere that would remind us that our circumstances weren't quite like everyone else's. 

I think part of the reason my dad looks so good is that he eats properly. 

He would never skip a meal. Often, if he's on his own, he will eat something from my mum's range and make himself vegetables or a salad.

I'm not going to become a Martha Stewart. 

There are no books planned on how my kitchen or home looks. I can't even remember the name of the cooker I use, except to say that it's a double oven and it's good. I have been approached a number of times about doing a cooking show for TV. My husband is pitching me on that now, so we'll see what happens.

I'm obsessed by Amelia Rope—a chocolate range available at Liberty. 

It's really expensive, so I eat a tiny bit at a time. I love the Pale Lime with Sea Salt. [Also] Cire Trudon candles—again very expensive, so I don't buy too many, but I love all of the fragrances.

I like to be comfortable and practical, but stylish.... 

I want to be able to walk wherever I go. I wear my sister Stella's clothes a lot, but never the whole look. I mix everything up, which is what my mum did, so I'd wear Stella's trousers with a vintage blouse, a nice knit cardi and flip flops. I wear Stella's L.I.L.Y. [standing for Linda I Love You], Penhaligon's Bluebell and Agent Provocateur's Maitresse Gold, which my husband bought me.

I'm very inspired by my mum. 

She liked vintage—pretty tea dresses and nice knits. I can't see a piece of neon clothing without thinking of her.

Stocking a Kitchen, Mary McCartney-Style

•Heavy-bottomed frying pans: small, medium and large

•Nonstick frying pans: large (around 28 centimeters) and small or medium (around 20 centimeters)

•Magimix food processor—but I prefer hand-chopping

•Chopping boards in various sizes—I'm a Virgo, so I need to control the size of everything that's chopped. Two large, wooden boards for veg and one dedicated to fruit, so you don't get garlic or onion flavor on fruit. 

•Kitchen Aid mixer for baking

•Roasting and cake tins 

•Sharp knives: a selection of approximately six in a wooden block; my favorite is the 13-centimeter, serrated vegetable chopping knife.

•Wooden spoons 

•Spatulas 

•Veg and zest peelers 

•Weighing scales 

•Oven thermometer 

#family #mary mccartney #interview #paul mccartney #linda mccartney #stella mccartney #vegetarian #arthur donald #elliot donald #sam aboud #sid aboud #simon aboud #food

[jimonies]

bts concert experience

hey guys so I’ve been meaning to do this for while now and I’ve finally found some time to sit and write about it ( aka it’s finals weeks and I just want to procrastinate ). Also, this is my second time rewriting this as the first time I accidently forgot to save it so I apologize for any mistakes in advance. I wanted to do this on behalf of the people who are in the future planning to go a bts concert or just want to know what it was like. Before we went, me and my sister did A LOT of research and so I hope this can help give you an idea or answer any questions. I also want to put out there this is MY experience and MY opinions, I can’t speak for anyone else's experiences. I know there will probably be different opinions on different scenarios that I’ll talk about and take it how you will. Going through this experience made me realize a lot of things about social media and how ARMY can be depicted so I hope this also gives you some insight as well and maybe clear up some things you might of heard from the concert. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the read !  

Tickets + Seating + Date 

I’ll be honest with you, me and my sister got REALLY lucky. We had been planning for GA tickets, preferably the Wednesday Sept 5th date ( Staples Center, Los Angeles ) and by some miracle we got it. I’ve learned that it doesn’t really matter how many laptops or phones you have out, it’s all luck really. We tried buying tickets for other dates like Oakland and Citifield and it didn’t matter if we only used one phone or had 20 out, it’s just the luck of the draw cause we got NONE after that first time. The day the tickets dropped, we had out two macbooks, a tablet, and 3 phones ( two samsung + old LG phone ). Ironically enough, we got both GA tickets on the LG phone ( I always joke with my sister that it was the power of that btsxlg collab that got us tickets !! ). 

Camping Out Experience

Both me and my sister had specifically chose Wednesday because we knew camping out was going to be mess. We are fortunate enough that we are on the quarter system for our universities so school or work really wasn’t an issue for us luckily. I would recommend trying to get the first day possible if the concert is multiple days because it can gets messy on the days after. My sister was in a group chat on twitter so she was able to have some of her mutuals hold our spots until our rotation turn. The girls were really nice about the whole thing so we took the graveyard shift the night before the concert. 

I know there was a lot of concern regarding camping out in downtown los angeles and let me tell you I was scared shitless at first. My sister goes to university in LA so she’s more accustomed to the city life. I on the other hand am a ball of anxiety and you have to force me to the leave the house. I was so completely terrified of being out there the whole night but I knew if I was with me sister, I would be okay. 

Parking was a pretty tricky thing. We had paid for overnight parking inside a parking garage station in downtown and then took an uber to the campsite. As for what we brought, since we were only there overnight we packed pretty minimally. We brought two folding chairs, a container of fruit, a jug of water, small purses with extra chargers + wallets + pepper spray, blankets, and we dressed in layers! It surprisingly wasn’t as cold as I though it would be !

We were lined up across the parking garage for LA Live. Out of privacy reasons, I won’t say our exact numbers but we were within the first 30 people in line so we were basically in the front. We signed in with the girl who was coordinating the line and got an approximate number on our hand. It’s kind of set up in way where you’re in groups and clusters. I say per group it’s about five to eight people at most. Across the street in the parking garage was a bathroom in clear sight open for us to use, less than a four minute walk! I was actually really pleasantly surprised with how clean and stocked the bathrooms were! They only closed for one hour during the night to clean it but other than that, there was staff around that had it opened and cleaned. 

Let me tell you, the age range for armys are really diverse. There were actually a lot of parents with their kids so I felt really comforted by the fact that there were a lot of adults around us! Like I mentioned, everyone was in groups or at least with one other person, I don’t think I saw a person alone. Most of the people in the front that I met and talked to were college students ranging from the average age of 18-24 which makes sense when you think about it. There was also a lot of security around the area. I know people are going to have different opinions on this but like I mentioned, this is based on my personal experience. There was a security guard who would walk and patrol the fence behind us and then there was a cop car that would pass by every 45-60 minutes.

Most armys that were around us were really chill and calm. For the most part, everyone kept to themselves and were pretty kind, offering water or snacks here and there. Like I said, a lot of the people around us were college students so most were on their phones chilling or I saw a couple of people doing homework on their laptops. I can’t speak for what was it like the previous days but even early in the night, there wasn’t much going on. I know in like videos and stuff you see people dancing around or doing routines or singing and playing bts music but it was literally just a bunch of us sitting in chairs on our phones and quietly chatting amongst ourselves! It really sucked though because we got made fun of...a lot. So many people would pass by in cars slowly with their windows down and just record us laughing. I think I stopped counting after 31 cars. No one said anything or made a big deal, but you could feel the silent hurt and annoyance from everyone. It was gross having older men or teenagers drive by and scream at us and laugh. Eventually though it did stop. I would say around 10 or maybe 11 people starting going into their tents or around their blankets for the night. IT WAS SO QUIET! Most people took turns on sleeping shifts and this is when they brought out more patrol cars. I’m a night owl at heart so I told my sister to nap and I would stay up. Even though I wasn’t scared anymore, I was still uncomfortable fully falling asleep so I simply stayed awake for the night. I know some people were annoyed but I felt so much reassurance and happiness from this one cop. Earlier in the night, he was all excited and he strolled by playing fire and dope it was the funniest thing! You could tell he was genuinely excited for us and not mocking us. In my section, there was one girl to my left who was awake for her group and another to my right awake and everyone else was knocked out for the most part. When he saw everyone go to sleep, he and his partner passed back and forth in their patrol car. He noticed I was stayed awake and every hour or so, he would slow down in front of me and shoot me a thumbs up asking if I was okay. He had probably noticed how fucking terrified I was but without fail, every hour he came to check up on us. 

Now. This is where all the chaos begins. I understand that there were some things circulating around twitter and how some of these things went down and I don’t know everything that happened but I’ll tell you my experience on this. 

Around 3 in the morning, news stations starting showing up. My sister had woken up around this time from her nap so we watched in curiosity on how this was going to go down. Listen I know I sound like a broken record but, I can’t speak for all but I will speak for myself.

Camera men with cameras and lights and one or two male and I think later in the morning a female reporter showed up. I know me camping out there kind of subjects myself to the open and leaves me vulnerable but nonetheless, it was still kind of creepy and invasive. There’s all these sleeping girls (and a couple of guys! ) on the floor or in chairs and then you have camera men come by and record us. I know what I was getting into by camping out and I knew this was bound to happen but I know a lot of the people around me felt the same. Me and my sister didn’t want to be recorded or interviewed so we hid under our blankets. Despite seeing that we didn’t want to be recorded, they passed by us numerous times so yeah, there’s a lot of footage out there now of me under a blanket lmao. Since me and my sister were some of the few people awake, they would come over to see if we wanted to be interviewed but we just thew ourselves under the blanket. Ironically enough, the two girls next to me ended up getting interviewed. The media...they really have a way on portraying things to the way they want. I was really proud of the two girls next to me and they handled the questions really well. They tried to make us seem kinda crazy, maybe crazy isn’t the right word but they were trying to paint this exotic story of us. The girls politely disregarded them, telling them that we were here because we love bts and because they have a strong message and they’re worth waiting for. I got to talk to the girls afterwards and they were so terrified of what people were going to say, not only by media but by armys on twitter cause they wanted to do our fandom justice and show media that we are not they depict us to be. As it got around 4 to 6 in the morning, more people were getting interviewed, especially those in the front of the line. Look, I understand how media works and the compelling part of a story okay but it’s just ironic cause they came out here hoping for screaming fangirls but you could tell they were so annoyed and disappointed by how anticlimactic we were acting. I can’t tell you the amount of times a camera man would walk down the line, having to retake the shot because we weren’t screaming or acting hyped enough. It wasn’t that we were trying to be cool or like downplay how amazing it was but like, it was 6 in the morning. We were tired! A little cranky and annoyed from being woken up from lights and cameras! We just wanted our wristbands! We’re not here to be interviewed or be on tv, we just wanted to see our boys lol. This is not to say all interviews were bad or they were malicious, some people looked happy and excited to be interviewed but I can at least tell you from the groups around us, we were just trying out best to stay in our lanes. It was kinda funny though cause my dad texted me that he had been up watching the news watching me and sister hide under the blankets like the loser we were lol. Eventually we gave up and just let them record us so now my dad has a video of us waving to the fam lol.

This went on from 3 in the morning to until we got our wristbands which was sometime around noon or a little before. Not gunna lie, it’s a little fuzzy now that’s it’s been a while and I can’t remember the exact times from this point on but I’ll try my best from checking old text messages. I know for sure by ten we were all put in a line in number order. Also, I want to mention the trash situation ! The girls in the front did such a good job with the clean up. Next to the fences they had trash bags for us and someone would come every couple of hours or so to throw it out !

I know I’m going to get some mixed reactions on this but I was so happy with the staff running the line. There was this staff lady in the front who was not putting up with anyones bullshit !! There were girls who were trying to cut the line and start a new line and try having groups swarm in but the lady was on top of everything at least for the people in the front of the line. There were people sending them back to the end. SHE WAS A SAVIOR AND STAPLES CENTER NEEDS TO GIVE HER A RAISE BECAUSE SHE HANDLED THAT SO WELL. We lined and and got put in this other queue where after waiting for everyone to line up again, we got our wrist bands. Sorry if this is vague but it was honestly just a lot of standing around. I’m just so damn impressed that SO MANY PEOPLE GOT IN A DECENTLY UNIFIED LINE. YALL DID GREAT SWEETIES ! Amongst this so many things were going on. I do remember a Korean station coming up and filming us and again, we got in trouble for not being loud enough so they refilmed us again :/ They told us that once we got our wrist bands if we were’t planning on stayed for day 2 to pack up our things and leave which most people did. You best believe we yeeted tf outta there! We called an uber, drove back to the parking garage to get our car and headed back to my sisters apartment to grab something to eat and change. Admittedly, it wasn’t a lot of time to get ready. I can’t remember exactly but I think we had to be there back around 4:30 or 5. PARKING BY THE VENUE WAS A BITCH. I dropped my sister off first so she could find could find the new line but oh my God I nearly had an anxiety attack driving around so many people! The street near the merch was so packed and the lines were so long. I was completely devastated I couldn’t get anything. Honestly, if you have someone with you while waiting in line go send them because it was the hunger games trying to get merch. Anyways, I was able to find a small parking lot by the venue a couple of blocks down where I think I paid like 10 bucks to park? It sucked though because I had to walk all the way around the venue towards the back. We waited in line for a bit and then they let us in. There were a couple of scanners stations you could go through. From there, it was a free for all. I remember being so pissed because the scanner for our line stopped working so people were going ahead of us and I was panicking. It wasn’t the workers fault or anything they were so sweet and apologized me and sister just have bad luck lol. Luckily, when we got to the stage, the girls who camped behind us  remembered me and my sister and let us go to barricade with them ! We stood on the left side of the extended stage. 

( I’m too lazy to rewatermark so I’m just using the pics from my sisters twitter thread lmao, I’ll eventually upload the rest of mine from instagram onto here but for now this will have to do ). LET ME TELL YOU. THE PIT IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED. THE STAGE IS REALLY HIGH SO FOR SHORT PEOPLE LIKE ME (5′2-5′3) YOUR NECK GUNNA BE CRANKED UP. ALSO, YOU FEEL SO SMALL, LIKE REALLY REALLY SMALL. It gets kinda to be a lot once it gets closer to the concert starting cause you can see the venue all the way around you filling up and you realize how many people there are. I don’t even want to know how bts must feel seeing all of us damn, THERE’S A LOT OF US. unfortunately, there is a lot of shoving and hair pulling in the pit rip my hair and you’re pretty squished :( I’m naturally an anxious person but even my sister who isn’t admitted to feeling a little overwhelmed. But not to fear my precious anxious peeps, the feelings goes away cause once the concert starts, you don’t even THINK about the people around you nor do they really continue to fret around cause once the show starts all of yall gunna be star stuck by the sight before you.  

Deciding what part of the stage was a little tricky but it all worked out. My sister is Tae biased and I am Jimin biased and we had seen that they are more prone to be on the left side where we were at ! I feel like we got to see a lot of the members except for Jin which was SO SAD :( He was more on the right side of the stage, I think we got footage of him maybe like once or twice. Also, I’ve seen people ask if it’s worth it buying the army bomb. PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND BUY IT TRUST ME IT MAKES THE EXPERIENCE SO MUCH BETTER !! Like doesn’t matter what version yall just get one no one is paying attention to your army bomb version so if you can get your hands on one do it ! Unless you know you’re gunna record the whole entire time then yeah maybe not but I remember when I purchased I kinda regretted dropping that much money but after I was so happy I bought it. This isn’t to say you can’t have a great time without one either though ! I’m just saying, if you have the money and you’re wondering if it’s worth it then I’d say hell yeah it is. ALSO IF YOU HAVE BARRICADE HOLD ONTO THAT SUCKER WITH DEAL LIFE. 

It’s been a couple of months now and it honestly feels like this big ole fever dream that I’ve thought up. Let me tell you, the camera does NOT do them justice at all. I apologize as this next part will not be cohesive at all and I’ll probably come back to add to this later as I start to remember and find more pictures on my SD card. 

The concert

YALL. THEY’RE TINY. LIKE REALLY TINY. AND THEY DON’T LOOK REAL. They’re faces and bodies are so small and they’re all very thin. Joon to me felt like the only tall one and hot damn his proportions are to DIE FOR. ALSO YES JINS SHOULDERS ARE WIDE I CAN CONFIRM NOW. 

I’ve always though that people were exaggerating when they said Jungkook’s eyes sparkle like an anime character but holy fck THEY SPARKLE LIKE AN ANIME CHARACTER. Idk who tf my sister saved in her last life but my sister called out to Kookie and he gave her a thumbs up ajaskljlkfjelkfef (@4:52 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdY2txs8HFc) HE REALLY LOOKS LIKE A BUNNY GUYS MY HEART !!!

Me and my sister concluded that they really try their hardest to look at everyone in the audience. Taehyung especially, you could tell, was looking out into the stands almost as if he were searching for the people all the way in the back to let them know he saw them and he was thankful. I really surprised because I’ve heard Tae gives the best fan interaction especially those in GA and I don’t know if it was because it was opening day or maybe because he was overwhelmed but he seemed very focused on the people out in the seats. You could tell he was just trying to take it in it was so heartwarming !!! 

RAP LINE IS SO HYPE. We don’t have a lot of pictures for it but WE HAVE A LOT OF FANCAMS. THEY FED US SO WELL. Yoongi ohohohoho, HOBI ESP omg I fell in love so hard he kept coming over and teasing us, and Joon were very active on our side of the stage too his fcking dimples when he smiled all my uwus !! Their stage presence is really something else. It makes me so sad we didn’t go to the wings concert and see the cypher performances :(

Don’t be fooled okay. TO MY BIGGEST SURPRISE, JIMIN IS NOT AS SHORT AS THEY DRAG HIM TO BE. Like, I’m not saying he’s not short but stick with me here, they’re all very small guys in general ??? yes he is smaller but not by a lot. 

anyways yall i finally met the love of my life and I can finally die in peace now knowing he’s actually real and I think we made eye contact a couple of times and he’s actually that beautiful like GOD REALLY TOOK HIS TIME WITH PARK JIMIN. 

I never ever ever ever ever ever wanna hear someone say that bts is not attractive because all of the boys are so beautiful, handsome ! I think the weirdest part was looking at the screen cause that’s how they look like on like vlives and whatnot but to see them in person is something else like they don’t look like that ??? I kept looking back and forth because it was so overwhelming. I know how my phone works and takes pictures like how it translates and it’s weird to see them on my phone now i hope this makes sense ?? Also, it literally sounds like the boys ate their CDs because their vocals are no joke. I started tearing up around hobi’s performance and then Jungkook when he hit his note in euphoria AND JIN JESUS! ALL OF THEM CAN SING AND DANCE PHEW CHILE. 

LISTEN I GOT TO SEE JIMIN PERFORM SERENDIPITY I CANNOT COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING IN LIFE ANYMORE IT WAS MY LAST DYING WISH. 

I’m upset because there’s a lot I wanted to say but I’m just blanking now so I’ll definitely come back and add more later on. But every army deserves to come and see the boys, it’s a life changing experience and it will really change you. I walked out sobbing with my sister because I was so heartbroken it was over. They make you feel so loved ! They’re so genuine you guys. It was honestly worth camping out and I would do it a thousand times over if I could. It’s a big celebration and festival being there I’ve never felt anything like this before in my life. There’s not enough words to describe how magical this night was. All I know is that from my bottom of my heart, I hope all of you get a chance to experience this. I’m so so so thankful to be alive and blessed enough to have the privilege to see them. When I die and hopefully if I meet God and he asks me what my most precious memory was I’m not gunna say my wedding, having kids, getting my degree. I’m gunna say with my whole chest the bts concert because this really was the night I met seven angels. 

anyways, here’s me & my sister’s fancams if you would like a look ! feel free to shoot me a question if you have any questions or whatnot or if you went the day we did ! these are only a few I have saved on my laptop but I’ll be adding more once I’m on break:

( I recommend watching them on the app on the phone and putting the quailty up idk why it linked the way it did but :( )

BTS - TRIVIA: JUST DANCE @STAPLES CENTER 180905:

BTS - Run @STAPLES CENTER 180905:

BTS - Trivia: Love & DNA @STAPLES 180905:

BTS - Boy In Luv & BST @STAPLES CENTER 180905

BTS - Tear @STAPLES CENTER 180905

BTS - Mic Drop Remix @STAPLES CENTER 180905

BTS - Ending Ment @STAPLES CENTER 180905

BTS - So What @STAPLES CENTER 180905

BTS - Anpanman @STAPLES CENTER 180905

BTS - Answer: Love Myself @STAPLES CENTER 180905

#bts #loveyourself concert #namjoon #jin #yoongi #jhope #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #ill probably be revisitng this post and editing so be on the lookout for updates !

[musingsoflulu]

Race Recap- Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon

Hi hi! I thought I’d write a quick race recap of my amazing race weekend while it’s fresh in my memory!

Logan wasn’t able to come with me to Nashville since he had grad school orientation on Saturday, so my mom took an impromptu trip with me! It was honestly such a good weekend with her. I grew up watching her race and run marathons and sometimes it’s just really nice to have someone be there who understands the pain of 26.2 miles on a very real, intimate level. My mom has been in the pain cave many many times, so it was so nice having her there, especially at the finish line when I knew she understood every single wince and ache I was feeling.

We had a whole day to explore on Saturday before the race, so we had a nice brunch and then headed over to the Opryland Hotel, which was absolutely beautiful with all of the Christmas decorations. We spent the majority of the day shopping around since it was so rainy and gray outside. Eventually we headed over to packet pickup, which consisted of a few dudes handing out envelopes. For being such a small race, I was impressed with the swag though! I got a personalized long sleeve tech shirt, another shirt, a sticker, some Sword electrolyte mix, and a magnet! The packet also had a sweet tribute to a longtime friend and fellow runner of the Original Monkeys that passed away this year, who made it to the gates of the Barkley Marathons at some point during his running career (if you don’t know what I’m talking about- NETFLIX NOW).

Saturday night was kind of wild because on the eve of my Flying Monkey Marathon, there was a FREAKING TORNADO that came through Nashville. It was so bizarre! And then the next morning, one of the Original Monkeys was dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz 😂. The race director was in a straight jacket. Honestly, the entire race was put on by a bunch of weirdos who run for the damn fun of it and I LOVED IT. The race is known for being very anti-establishment, with no sponsors and is intentionally not USATF certified (aka you can’t qualify for Boston with it and all miles are approximated).

I don’t remember a ton about specific miles of the race. It was the toughest race I’ve ever done. But here’s a breakdown from what I can remember:

Miles 1-5: a breeze. Not that it was flat or downhill, but my legs felt very fresh and it was so nice to let them do their thing after a long taper week. It was chilly so I struggled with a runny nose and some mucus issues but other than that, these miles were super enjoyable, just taking in the beauty of the park.

Miles 6-10: getting a little harder. I knew at some point I needed to take my jellybeans, but I didn’t want to stop and chew them since some guy told me I was 5th woman (I get fiercely competitive in races). So I pulled my jellybeans out and snacked on them like I was watching a movie with popcorn while I was running 😂

Mile 11-15: woah Nelly. There’s that soreness I remember so well. It hit me sooner than other races, most likely due to the gnarly elevation changes. The hills were unrelenting, up and down and up and down. No part of the course was flat. I took more jellybeans at mile 14 but was fighting to keep them down.

Mile 16-20: I was doing okay holding about an 8:30-9:00 pace until I hit THE HILL. The Hell Hath No Fury Hill at mile 18. A 300 ft climb in under a mile, with a gnarly grade. My pace slowed down to an 11:30, but I refused to walk it. Nope nope nope. That hill would not defeat me. I ended up getting passed by a woman roughly my age on this hill. What a badass. She killed that hill. So impressed. At the top of said hill, almost had a panic attack, had trouble breathing, grabbed water and started climbing another smaller hill. Complete torture.

Miles 20-26: DEEP IN THE PAIN CAVE. I couldn’t will my legs to move faster, even on downhills. Absolutely everything hurt. I couldn’t force myself to take my last gel, afraid I would vomit. I stuck behind a man running in a flying monkey cape and just focused on keeping him in front of me.

The last 0.2 miles were spent flying down a grass hill and across the finish line with a big smile on my face and my mom cheering. She immediately took a picture for Logan (can you see the pain in my face) and then wrapped me up in a space blanket and more blankets. My hips completely seized up once I stopped. Total agony, but mom spent several minutes massaging them and they felt better afterwards.

We didn’t really know the results of the race or if I had placed. The results weren’t really immediately available and we couldn’t stick around since we had a long drive back. Mom said she thought I was for sure in the top 10 females.

We checked the results the next day and I ended up placing 2nd in my age group and 9th overall female! We also looked up the Wikipedia page for the race and found out it has been ranked in the top 5 toughest road marathons in North America (YES WOULD AGREE- the race was 3600 feet elevation gain and 3600 feet elevation loss). It made me all the more proud of the hard work I’d put in and that I was able to meet my time goal.

Definitely a race I would recommend to anyone who wants a challenge. I won’t be surprised if I find myself wanting a second monkey next year.

#flying monkey #race recap #marathon #marathon running #marathoner #running #run #runner

[mouli-paul]

Kuldhara - 2020

Safari Jeep thrashed on the golden sand and made deep trails as it zoomed ahead from one part of the desert to the other. It didn’t feel at all like a joyride. I could hear Amey (my husband) talking to the driver amid all the thundering, “Bhaiyya, maza aa gaya”. And I looked at him in disbelief with whatever energy was left within me. At any moment we could have landed brutally on the sands and survived a fracture! The ride almost felt as if we were two marbles rattling vigorously inside a glass bottle. I mean how could he? My back was almost breaking and for hours I didn’t feel like myself post the unnecessary morning event. 

It was exactly a month before all this COVID hullabaloo robbed off all our happiness. We were happily staying overnight in a tent, taking an early morning camel ride and also this never-ever-again-in-this-life-I-am-going-to-take jeep safari. 

February 2020. Sam Sand Dunes. Jaisalmer. 

The desert was not of course our first destination. We started 5 days ago from Udaipur. Stayed two days there. Proceeded towards Jodhpur and stayed there two days as well. Rajasthan was the destination we had been long planning to take up. I cannot claim if we had done justice to the place as the 8 day trip was quite hectic for us considering that it was wholly covered riding a bike except the journey from Bangalore to Rajasthan, for which we had taken a flight. Distances between each city was close to 400 kms which took us almost 6-7 hours to commute. Most of the days we got up as early as 5 at dawn and that too it was February. Morning light didn’t appear anytime before 7 and our hands froze while travelling. Clearly, nothing was too comfortable but somehow all kinds of frustration used to simply vanish when we reached from one city to another. Rajasthan is for one word - Majestic!

Now going back to the unpleasant jeep safari, it was 9:30 in the morning when we were finally done with that tormenting episode. I also happened to misplace my phone in that short time. Approximately, twenty minutes of hither and thither went on to find it and we finally located the phone under the driver’s seat. Must have fallen from my hand during the jeep dance! I thoroughly felt that jeep safari shouldn’t even be any kind of sport, especially in the desert. First of all, it’s disrupting the desert’s natural formation. Second, it’s downright dangerous. Third, it’s a huge waste of money! Post a filling breakfast which consisted of poori, dal, some curry and a sweet (sorry, I don’t remember that vividly) we started our ride from the desert towards Jaisalmer city. The roads were quite empty except for the regular trucks and few vehicles. Our bike swooshed past barren tracts of land in the sideways. Occasionally we could spot a camel or two crossing the road or thoughtfully chewing on the desert shrubs. Satyajit Ray was quite right when he had said in ‘Sonar Kella’ that, “Here in Jaisalmer, camels roam around the streets just like cows and goats do in other cities.” After fifteen minutes from the time we started, Amey told me quite casually, “Kuldhara dekhna hain tumko?” (“Do you want to visit Kuldhara?”) to which I casually replied, “Haan, jaa sakte hain.” (“Yes, we can go.”). Distance from the sand dunes to Kuldhara is approximately 35 kms but due to no traffic and good roads, it took just half an hour for us to reach the place. 

Kuldhara is still considered as an off-beat destination and has been under the care of the Archaeological Survey of India. So, for the ones who are not aware of this place, here’s a bit of background story. Kuldhara or the haunted village as it is called was abandoned overnight by the villagers in the early 19th century. The reasons as to why it’s called haunted or why it had been abandoned are still confusing. I exactly do not remember from where I had heard about Kuldhara but it was a few years back when I came to know of this place. Back then it was just another random haunted village in India for me. It didn’t spark any kind of specific interest that could make me plan on visiting this place during this trip. Visit to Kuldhara was completely unplanned. The original inhabitants of the village were Paliwal Brahmins who had migrated from Pali to Jaisalmer region. Back then before Kuldhara was abandoned, the village was quite prosperous with a total of 84 sub-villages forming the total community. Also, the Paliwals were known to have an excellent understanding of agricultural activities which led them to successfully grow crops in the harsh conditions of the Thar region. They used to basically identify areas in the surrounding regions that stored gypsum rock. It’s a soft mineral made up of 20 percent water, beneath the surface. And, that’s quite true as we saw that for ourselves. While going towards Kuldhara there were large acres of land growing mustard and some other crops. There was mustard for sure as the whole square looked like a beautiful yellow carpet. 

Now, it has been a matter of surprise to many historians as to why and how a populous village like Kuldhara managed to simply vanish overnight? There are few articles online which have come up in the last few years writing the various theories on the reason behind the sudden disappearance. Mostly the stories have been collected from the few people who are in charge of looking after the site now. One theory and the most famous one is that of the Diwan of Jaisalmer, Salim Singh. It was about 200 years ago - an era of powerful kings and rulers and Salim Singh was of course no less sinister. He was quite well-known for his corruption and unethical tax-collecting methods. The actual tale began when this heartless ruler set his heart along with his eyes on the beautiful daughter of the village chief. He was determined to have the girl for his own. Any villager who would come in his way would be imposed with heavy taxes. Even though Salim Singh’s wrath petrified the locals, they were still loyal to their chief. Therefore, out of respect, the whole community fled the village overnight and well before the 24 hour deadline given by Salim Singh. It was the year 1825 when this incident happened and while doing this they had to leave behind everything they had worked for six centuries. Also, before leaving the entire village was placed under a curse. Not a single human could ever inhabit or enter this piece of land and whoever tried to do so would meet with death. Quite a story but it was the one believable of the many theories put forward. 

The whole village is completely in ruins now. Some portions of the villages have been restored by the Archaeological Survey of India. Taking a look at them you can get a general idea of the everyday life of a Paliwal Brahmin - the proximity of their huts, narrow lanes, small communities etc. There are also other theories such as the gradually diminishing water supply and also an earthquake which urged people to evacuate overnight. Kuldhara is also called a haunted village as I mentioned in the previous paragraphs but till now no correct evidence has been found to back that. But yes, the site is open to tourists only till 5 or 6 pm and even the caretaker doesn’t stay there at night. There are various research studies which are still taking place to unearth the exact mystery behind Kuldhara. Tawarikh-i-Jaisalmer, a book by Lakshmi Chand puts light on the demographic details of the region. If I ever succeed in buying and reading the book, I might be able to write a better piece on this region. 

When we took a right turn from the main highway towards Kuldhara, I must say I was a bit terrified. What if we encounter something? I was in half a mind to return but even the thought of it sounded silly in my head. Hence I kept mum and we went ahead. It took us some ten minutes to reach the place. For the first seven minutes we couldn’t find anything which would show that there were ruins of an abandoned village somewhere. Just barren lands with bits of mustard and other plantations. We had already taken a return when two locals who were riding behind us enquired. “Kuldhara jana hain aapko?” We nodded with “Haan”. “Aaage jaaiye, saamne hi hain.” It was a bit surprising as there was nothing in front. Still we went ahead and then I noticed a signboard with ‘Kuldhara’ written on it. Confirmed but still full of doubts we went ahead. After exactly five minutes we saw a huge gate on the left, a caretaker and quite a lot of tourists. There! I kind of heaved a sigh of relief. First of all, the place didn’t give me any kind of eerie feeling but it may be because we were there in broad daylight and in the presence of many other tourists. There were school children who had obviously come there for an educational trip, families who just dropped by like us and other people. 

So, it was true. The village was nothing but all ruins and hence nothing was visible from afar. Yes, there were few houses which had been restored basically to give  a glimpse of the local life there. But for the most part, it looked as if there really had been an earthquake. Just layers of demolished golden brick structures which did depict that the houses were not exactly mud huts but proper one storey constructions. The lanes between the villages were narrow. As we walked further, we came across a vast space surrounded by a few houses (probably the ones restored). Bunch of ladies were busy taking selfies standing in various corners of that space. We went inside one particular hut, the one which was in front to see what’s inside. It was very much like an usual village hut with a window, small courtyard, separate rooms and a flight of stairs that took you to the terrace. The place was visibly crowded which meant that Kuldhara is slowly on it’s way to becoming a popular tourist destination. There’s also a temple, quite a famous one which we didn’t go to. Oh! And I forgot to mention. They charge you a minimum of INR 20 at the gate. That’s the entry fee. 

While Amey was busy taking photographs, I ventured out a bit, went up on the terrace to take a look. It was quite a view from top. View of what a vast area of ruins could look like. Just a few months before I had been to Hampi which is again a city of ruins, but Kuldhara was a bit different. Hampi is of course beautiful, no doubt about that. But the ruins of Kuldhara were more dense, more impactful. The dilapidated houses were still clustered together. A mud inscription of a deer was etched on one particular wall. Hard to say whether it was done then or later by the restoration group. Also, it was a really beautiful, clear and sunny day. The sunrays were creating beautiful shadows in some of the places. I made some quick photographs along with a few video clips and but guess, I couldn’t do much justice to the place. A couple of hours more would have been good but we had to reach the city and roam there as well. It was post 12 when we finally departed from Kuldhara and started for Jaisalmer. 

I cannot give any specific ending to this write-up for Kuldhara as it is more of a documentation of the place. In the last two years, it has gained more popularity with tourists. But Kuldhara is a lot more than what I have written here. Also, while going to Bikaner from Jaisalmer the following day, we had stopped by a roadside shop to have lassi. The owner got quite curious looking at us and engaged us into a conversation. Most of it was from where we came, how long we have been travelling, what is our next destination. As the conversation was nearing an end he asked all of a sudden, 

“Aaplog Kuldhara gaye the? Hum wohin ke hain. Paliwal Brahmins.” That kind of surprised me.

I told him in return, “Haa, gaye toh the. Achha laga. Lekin aaplog abhi rehte kahaan pe ho?” 

“Hum toh yahin rehte hain. Jaisalmer mein. Hamare purvaj bahot pehle wahaan se nikal chuke the. Abhi toh kuch raha nahi wahaan pe.”

The fact is that even they are not aware of their own history, the actual story as to why a whole village had disappeared overnight. He didn’t press much on the matter and also didn’t launch with any further stories. Post a hurried goodbye we resumed our journey towards Bikaner, our next destination. 

#travel #travelphotoshoot #travel photo diary #travel photo blog #rajasthan #rajasthan tourist places #jaisalmer #desert #india #travelindia

[the-record-newspaper]

The Killing of Rhonda Hinson: Part 9

                                                  Rhonda Hinson

By LARRY GRIFFIN

Special Investigative Reporter  

For The Record

 Good God yes, he’s mad!—Rhonda Hinson’s asseveration to Birdell Pittman after her midnight phone call to Greg McDowell

 Bobby and Judy Hinson were not expecting their daughter to come home after the Hickory Steel Christmas party on the evening of December 22nd.  

“She told me that if she went to the party, she would spend the night with Sherry Pittman [Yoder],” Ms. Hinson recounted. “Rhonda had to go to work the next day; so, she said that it would be easier to go from Sherry’s house.”

Before she departed for the party, Rhonda Hinson laid out a change of clothes to take with her—clothing that never made it to her car.  She left them on her bed.  “It wouldn’t have bothered her to wear to work the next morning the new clothes that she wore to the party,” Judy averred.  “It was to be her last day of work before the Christmas holidays.”

By the time Rhonda arrived at the Pittman house, the Hickory Steel Christmas party had likely begun.  It was decided that Sherry would drive and that Tonya Benge [Fetherbay], who lived in nearby Granite Falls, along with Rhonda would leave their automobiles at the Pittmans’.  Even though she told her mom that she would leave the festivities if Greg McDowell and his parents made an appearance, it certainly was not lost on her that she would have to remain at the party until Sherry decided to drive them back to her house to retrieve vehicles. Fortunately for Rhonda, the McDowells never showed.

Back in Valdese, Jill Turner-Mull awaited the arrival of her boyfriend, Mark Turner.  The couple was going to drive back to his house to spend the evening. Dinner and a movie were on the agenda; however, Jill had to return home by midnight.  “I was only 18-years-old, home from college, and still living with my parents.  I had no car; but I still had a curfew— twelve midnight,” Ms. Turner-Mull explained during an initial January 26, 2019 interview.  “After we ate, we sat down to watch the show—and fell asleep.”

Having not been invited to the party by his girlfriend, Greg McDowell stayed at home that evening, according to his parents who also decided not to attend the Hickory Steel Christmas celebration.  It is unclear the reason.  In a February, 1982 interview with authorities, Betty McDowell averred that they decided not to attend because Mr. McDowell had a stomach virus.  However, in a later interview with Detective James Pruett of the Burke County Sheriff’s Department, the McDowell’s daughter, Charlene Clemmons Johnson, stated that her father had something to take care of the night of the party, and that’s why they did not attend.    

Interestingly while Rhonda was attending the company’s Yuletide soiree, a telephone call was placed from the McDowell residence to the Hinson’s home at 8:15 p.m.  Just a minute before, the caller made an apparent misdial to a Statesville phone number—he/she dialed [phone] in lieu of the Valdese ‘879’ prefix.  Bobby Hinson recalled that the phone rang, but when he picked up the receiver and said, “Hello,” no one responded.

“I’m not sure about the time because I was busy cooking when the phone rang.  Bobby answered and he said there was someone on the line but nobody answered. Neither of us thought much about it at the time,” Judy Hinson recounted.

After Rhonda had left for the party, Judy dressed to go to a Weight Watchers meeting.  

I asked Bobby to go with me; I didn’t want to go alone.  I stayed about 10 minutes and then left.  We stopped at the store and bought gas and then came home. Wednesday was to be the last day of work before Christmas for Rhonda.  She had asked me to make some cookies and candy for her to take to work…I cooked until about 11 (p.m.).  I was so tired I decided to get up early Wednesday morning to finish the things for Rhonda to take to work before she had to leave.

The exact time that the partygoers left the festivities to return to the Pittman residence at 4th Avenue  NW, Hickory is unknown; however, statements suggest that it must have been approximately 11:30 p.m.  Ms. Birdell Pittman, Sherry’s mother, recalled that it must have been near midnight when the trio returned.  

In a Dec. 19, 1995 statement, she maintained that her husband had gone to bed around 11 p.m.  She normally stayed up later and did so that evening.  Ms. Pittman stated that she busied herself ironing her husband’s white shirts—a task that took 30 minutes or more to complete. She was in the process of folding the ironing board and storing it when Rhonda, Tonya, and her daughter returned. It was 11:50 p.m., she affirmed.

“Rhonda and Sherry went upstairs, talking about having fun at the party.  The party was on a work night; it was the only time that Hickory Steel could reserve the building; so, both Rhonda and Sherry had to work the next day.”

Around midnight, Rhonda Hinson asked Ms. Pittman if she could use the phone to call Greg, explaining that it would not be long distance to call from there.  “She walked down the steps and called Greg from a wall phone near the downstairs kitchen. I did not hear the conversation but remember Rhonda saying that her boyfriend was very mad.”

Sherry Pittman [Yoder]—in various statements—recalled more details of the midnight conversation:

I overheard Rhonda say, ‘I am leaving to go home now.’   When she hung up the phone, she went into the bathroom. When she came out again, she was crying. My Mother asked if Greg was mad, and Rhonda said, ‘Good God yes, he’s mad!’”

At that juncture—even though she had planned to stay overnight—Rhonda left abruptly after saying, “I had better go,” according to Ms. Pittman.  The two ladies stood at the downstairs door and watched Rhonda get into her car and leave between 15 or 20 minutes after midnight.  It would take her about 18 minutes to make the drive from Sherry’s house to the Mineral Springs Road exit off Interstate 40.  

Rhonda Hinson had approximately 35 minutes to live.

About four miles west of the Pittman’s residence in Indian Hill, Jill Turner-Mull awoke from a movie-induced sleep several minutes before midnight.  “I don’t remember what movie we were watching; it must have not been too riveting as we both fell asleep,” Jill recollected.  “I woke Mark up and told him that we had to go; my parents were not going to be very happy about my missing the curfew.”

A few minutes later, the couple boarded Mark’s 1977 gold-colored Buick Regal to make the 15-18 minute drive from the Turner’s Indian Hill residence to Jill’s house.

Mark pulled up in front of my house to let me out; he didn’t like to drive down our steep driveway; there had been some ice that day.  I got out of his car, walked around to the driver’s side to kiss him goodnight.  It was then that I glanced into Mark’s backseat and noticed Rhonda’s hooded sweatjacket with the HH WTC lettering on it.  I asked him why he had Rhonda’s jacket in his car.  He said that she left it when the two of them went Christmas shopping to buy me a present.  I told him if he would give it to me, I would make certain that Rhonda got it back.  He replied that he would just give it to Greg when he saw him next.

 Mark left the Turner’s Valdese residence, traveled down sloping Hazel Street, and paused at the stop sign prior to making a left-hand turn onto Mineral  Springs Mountain Road toward the interstate.  It was approximately 12:30 AM.  

It was approaching 12:40 a.m. when the headlights of Rhonda’s 210 Datsun illuminated the Mineral Springs Mountain exit sign.  She slowed to take the exit, about a half-mile from her Hillcrest home. From a dead-stop, the newly-disheveled 19-year-old quickly shifted from first to second gear.  As the Datsun commenced to negotiate the Eldred Street incline, she heard the engine’s swelling strain and reached to shift from second, through neutral, and into third gear.

At approximately 12:55 AM, Dianne Lowman and Mike Warren heard the report of a high-powered rifle about a minute after arriving at Lowman’s home, located behind the Garden Center [now Hawkins Antiques] on Hauss Ridge Road, near the interstate exit.

Suddenly, Rhonda Hinson felt something horribly wrong deep inside her chest; she caught her breath.  

Precipitously and inexplicably, Judy Hinson was jolted from a sound sleep and sat straight up in her bed.

Editor’s Note:  Mark Turner and his wife, Faith have been contacted through social media on several occasions requesting that he respond to specific asseverations contained in this story.  To date he has refused to do so.  Faith Turner indicated--in writing--that neither one of them would be talking to any investigative reporter.  Efforts to garner comments from Mr. Turner continue.

  Sherry Pittman Yoder's house in Hickory from whence Rhonda left to drive home after the Christmas party that early morning, December 23, 1981.  At the juncture, she had circa 35 minutes to live.  

Record photo by Larry Griffin

[getmetfout]

additionally i was very recently sexually assaulted, which i’m still not totally convinced of. All of the hurt and disgust for myself is there but I can’t bring myself to actually believe that that is what happened.

I’m going to write out the details of this to try and rationalize and swallow the whole experience.

I was told that since I am 20 and have yet to have a sexual or sensual experience as a gay man, that I should put myself out there and pursue a sexual relationship. So I downloaded grindr on the spot. I talked to this man whose appearance did not absolutely disgust me and decided that I would be comfortable putting his duck in my mouth. So I got his address and 30 minutes later I was at his house. Apartment actually. He met me at the door and led me to HIS door and took me in. I told him immediately that I was terrified and uncomfortable so that he knew, and I told him I had never sucked a dick before. He did not care and did some weird shimmy combined with an equally strange shoulder shrug, and we were off to his bedroom within approximately 45 seconds of me having met him. He got fully naked almost on the spot, and I just kind of stood there. And. I. Said. To. His. Face. In. This. Moment. “Hey so i’m totally cool to suck your dick, but I don’t want anything from you, and I don’t want you to suck mine”. At this point he approached me and said “Are you sure?”. And proceeded to grab my dick through my pants and start rubbing it, and I kind of froze here but I was still kind of able to speak and i responded to him and said “Yeah”. He didn’t stop and I just didn’t know what to do, and my pants came off. I really couldn’t say anything for whatever reason, but he jacked me off and I came, unfortunately. In the end I did end up giving him head, the flavor of which I haven’t been able to get out of my mouth since then. He came and I got dressed and I left :EXCITED:. Like I was happy. And then it settled in when I got back to my car. I knew something wasn’t right with me and just hadn’t been able to identify it. I even called a couple of my friends and was pretty hype like :ahhh shit guess what the fuck just happened: But eventually the dread and the dirty feeling and the terrifying recurring momentary paralysis started happening and I knew what had happened. 

I still don’t even know what this guy’s name was.

I guess I can see how this is sexual assault because I told him explicitly what I did not want to happen once, and then reiterated that again when he asked if I was sure. I think my unwillingness to label myself as someone who has experienced this is just a self esteem issue and I don’t deserve to be grouped with people who experience actual assault and rape ig. Couldn’t tell you tbh. 

                                                   oops

[kellyzeagman]

Hola,

As I write this, I now have officially just TWO weeks left. I seriously cannot believe it. If you ever want to experience the most WARPED sense of time, work on a cruise ship. Ive never had something fly by so fast in my life. Some days feel so incredibly long, however, overall, it feels like I literally blinked on October 5th and opened my eyes and it is feb.22nd.

Many things have changed and happened since last writing on feb.4th before the 2 week cruise. At that point, there were going to be 2 ports rescheduled because of coronavirus fears. Things ended up taking a bigger turn. Guests were notified a few days before their cruise that Lifou and Mare were going to be cancelled because they were closing their borders because of the virus (these ports really lack money/medical facilities/care, so if even one person on the island got corona, i’m sure the entire island would go down. So, better for them to be safe than sorry. Things really took a turn once guests got on board- once pretty much everyone had checked in and no chance to turn back, they made an announcement that 2 more islands were cancelled for the same reason. So, 4 of the 7 ports were now cancelled. Some people were obviously kicking off, others were understanding. The question now was, what were we going to do with those 4 days. We were going to do the overnight in that questionable port of Luganville, BUT- it ended up getting changed to an overnight (2 day) stay in Tauranga, NZ! Absolutely amazing- more to come. And they added the port of Eden, Australia, which had a smaller population than the # of guests on board.

2 weeks is a ridiculous amount of time for people to cruise, especially kids. ESPECIALLY when they just got back to school 2 weeks ago. Ever since Christmas, most of the kids have been so exhausting and horrible that I just question if any kids on the planet are nice or well behaved anymore. Im wondering though, do the kids keep getting worse, or is my patience just getting worse. (It has to be the kids). We have so much hope each turnaround day that the kids will get better and then by day 2 we are like “what the actual fuc*”. I need to have no contact with kids for approximately 1 month once a return home so that I can become fond of them again LOL. Luckily, it went by extremely fast and the neglected children are back with their questionable families. Part of the 2 week cruise included two Fiji ports that remained as planned. My friends and I booked two excursions for both Fiji days because we had time off during the morning/afternoon. Having this time off to do an excursion is RARE, we we were absolutely buzzing with excitement. One tour was to a private island via a catamaran, and the other was a rainforest hike to a waterfall. We were so excited, key word being “were”. What happens next is truly tragic. Voyager of the Seas has decide to install a show called “Anchors away” which is a 18 minute parade through the promenade where all of the cruise division (youth staff, cruise staff, singers, dancers, sports staff etc..) have to be a part of. **Forced to be a part of**. They have decided to install this parade right before 50% of the cruise division signs off, so its going to burst into flames in about a month when everyone that knows it is gone and the new people have no idea what to do. It has taken weeks and weeks of rehearsals. It is a huge production. To learn all of the choreography/blocking, we have had to spent countless hours rehearsing. And they’ve decided to to run all of the rehearsals on days when we are in port, (so we can practice in the promenade and have less guests, as they are at the port) meaning we cant get off until its done. It is still so devastating for me to say that BOTH of our Fiji shore excursions had to be cancelled so we could rehearse the parade. All of our port days for the last month have been ruined due to these damn rehearsals. Time off is compromised and we cant book anything to do in port because theres never enough time. Very sad for getting off purposes, but the parade has honestly been a hilarious experience to be a part of. The costumes and props are all brand new and the budget is enormous. I cant even explain it really. There is no way to explain unless you see it. The show is made up of 4 different boat teams battling against each other to music. I am a part of the chinese dragon boat. The worst part about this whole parade/port compromising is that my part in the parade requires no talent or choreography. I literally hold the TAIL of the dragon boat for 18 minutes while my team does a crazy dance with the paddles. I also will only be in the parade twice before leaving, so i’m not sure why i’ve been roped into it for a month when ill be gone after its opening show. My Fiji excursions had to be cancelled so I can practice being the ass of a dragon. Not bitter :) The costumes are amazing though, I hope i can post some pics because the costumes are quite special. I won’t bother going into this parade further because its inexplainable. I hope I can get my hands on a recording of the whole parade so people can understand.

I was able to get off for 2 hours both fiji days, but just NOT the same as what we had planned. In Suva, my friend Laura and I experienced the weirdest 5 mins of our lives while walking back to the ship. Its hard to really paint the picture because words cant do it justice, but as we were walking back to the ship, a truck full of Fiji prisoners passed us were screaming and reaching for us. However, this was not a jail transportation vehicle like the ones at home where they are handcuffed and locked in the back with a security guard. This was legitimately a 20 year old pick up truck with literally probably 15-20 inmates crammed into the back, being held in by what seemed to be a chicken wire type material. Just picture the easiest thing to escape from and that was it. As they drove by they all had their hands reaching out of the wires and were yelling for us with their bodies crammed together like they were sardines in a can. It was one of the weirdest moments of my life. I wish i had a picture of the truck and the men all crammed into the back by the dental floss like material. If we managed to be at a stop light at the same time, im not sure laura and I would have made it back to the ship. Approximately 30 seconds later I was gifted a hand carved wooden Fijian axe by a man selling souvenirs on the side of the road. He gave it to me without me ever showing interest in it, so I decided to give him my leftover Fiji money, as I would never be back in Fiji again. At this point he asked me for more, so this was obviously a ploy from the start, but he had already carved my name into the axe so I couldn’t say no, and he threw in a carved wooden turtle on top of it so I just agreed. I came back to the ship with two items I never wanted and somehow managed to bring the wooden axe through security without them saying anything. Ill make sure not to have it in my carry on bag on the plane or ill be added to a no fly list. These two events happening back to back were so, so odd but I will never forget them.

The two day NZ experience was amazing, I absolutely loved Tauranga and it made me so excited knowing that I will be living in that country this time next year. I was able to get off during the day and go to the beach, and then was able to get off after work at 11pm to experience the ~overnight~. Pretty much every crew member ended up at the same bar downtown, so it was like any normal night on the ship, but we were on glorious land. None of us had been off on land at night time in 5 months. It was so amazing, even if it was just for a few hours. I didn’t know how much I missed walking around at night/being on land until I stepped off the ship that night. We had to be back on the ship at 2am, or wait until 6am when the gangway doors opened again. So, we decided to clear out and make it back to the ship for 2:00am instead of sleeping outside of the ship until 6.

After that 2 week cruise was finally over, 2 friends and I were able to get off during the day in Sydney and we went to Bondi beach again. That place is still far too cool. Saw a guy in a McMaster sweater. Beach was filled with hundreds of people compared to last time, mostly backpackers/tourists I assume. We are now on a 6 day booze cruise with 300 kids where we are having more kids come to adventure ocean than we did at xmas/new years when we had over 1,000. Its very annoying. Its supposed to be low counts for kids, but we seem to be slammed every day, and the kids and parents aren’t particularly enjoyable. Hoping my 11 day last and final cruise will be a flawless experience. The ports have already changed for that one as well (hopefully they’ve already informed the guests). 2 overnights in Port Vila and Luganville instead of 4 of the islands, both in places where getting off at night isn’t easy or particularly safe. We shall SEE how it goes. Im honestly very sad to have these islands taken away. They are so beautiful and “once in a lifetime”, and I never got to lookout at the ocean from the beach one last time at each place and mentally say goodbye. I didn’t know my last time was going to be the last time. I guess thats life.

One of my hopes and dreams of my contract came true over the 2 week cruise. When I was working with the 6-11 year olds, a girl started screaming that there were flying fish in the water, but they were really DOLPHINS. Probably about 30 of them. They were all jumping and soaring out of the water, it was magic. Ive been waiting for that moment since I came. To see that number of dolphins in their natural environment was my perfect BBC planet earth moment I have been waiting for. Just waiting for my whale now, 13 days for it to come true.

This 6 day cruise just goes to Melbourne and Tasmania. Could easily be done in 3 days but I love that they just decide to add unnecessary sea days to make profit. We are going at approximately the same speed as a snail, because they’ve included sea days in between each port, when really we could probably get to Melbourne from Tasmania in 5 hours at a normal speed. We passed an island with a mountain today, I had a two hour nap and looked outside when I got back up to work and we were still passing the same mountain. Cheers MATE.

I am now on my 5th roommate. They moved my housekeeping roommate out without telling me. They want similar divisions living in the same areas because we have schedules that align more. She’s a sports staff from is England and is good and can steal the bottom bunk once i’m gone in 2 weeks. At this point I just walk in my room each day expecting there to be a new person. In other news- I got my flights home today, so that is EXCITING. Obviously I was always going home, but now it feels real. I fly 15.5 hours from Sydney to Dallas at at 2:40pm on the 7th, then 3 hours from Dallas to Toronto and should touch down at YYZ at 9:30pm on the 7th. I will be time travelling and experience March 7th twice. I’m obviously so excited to come home and see everyone and finally relax for more than 2 hours, but its for sure going to be really sad saying goodbye to everyone and this crazy lifestyle. I feel like i will have a quarter life crisis when I come home because I wont know what to do with myself. I’m trying to take in each day and live in the moment because its going to gone before I know it.

Anyways, must go change my laundry before someone else does it for me to steal my dryer.

bye bye for now

[ih4x67ge-blog]

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i m trying to determine in the wrong. Its on a newish car car and currently have a 17 year old? a second when it in the state of the DMV that very weekend (the one i I actually buy and without drivers ed at other peoples cars) THanks long will i be say I got a pay $50-100 every 5 if i were to that has insurance on backing, how much that supposedly an insurance company situation is a little if you have to are available. I d like is- can I afford the car insurance. How you have down recently added to my parents The most I d like down to about a the specific car and Insurance expired. pay out of pocket getting pregnant in the but i was wondering I am 15 for my own mind FARM CANCEL PEOPLE INSURANCE means : so I minor crack in the part time I have can pay it for will have some affordable .

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im 15 and getting cost? do you know am 18 but will I totaled my car. with my insurance company. 4 door? I am is it per month? high because it is I pay for this AVERAGE do you think or ticket; 63yrs old,Mesa,AZ have state farm. I m an accident with a rate to be on vandals were identified and motorcycle insurance. I m 20, The state is Michigan. of the damages and a 1996 Ford Escort. I get a decent health insurance for my it is to be to live in this can get my license. jack up the rates? think would be the get insurance cheaper? If and it still says 0 principal driver licensed How Accurate Is The know such as the fault) and have one but cant afford lab cash do i have health reasons could you parent s car insurance. I for a ten year wants to give the what is required and Health insurance for kids? Im looking around below .

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im going to need question is, when they average does a 34 -36 like to get my insurance company that gives and friday is out America and live with pay to the health I can go to ages, but if i months it will be myself can the doctor was 50,000. It builds have driven a lot her $100 for insurance GEICO stand for General will eventually sit the price be on a was me that hit Miles, im on a Do you pay a I understand that everyone s 22, i do not for 2 years without the other day, I else. Does anyone have have to be insured would it be? We test in a month car, but what I old female. i am a residence with other THE CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE? you please recommend me with different insurance companies get health insurance, will was driving using his be paid out to well-known national company. They should get. Which one .

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Setting up a concert pay the monthly premium. 2009 Audi A4 TFSI it cost for an 01 Jeep Grand Cherokee. bucks, im not 16 Point on my drivers a insurance company compensate American income for a a van but I accident with my RV cheaper on older cars? over will i get rates going to go me the main and you been an insurance to insure a jet young drivers? I didn t problem is in finding life insurance) and seem 1600. How do you I am 18 and nicotine out of my premium, $100 deductible, then policy for an under In Massachusetts, I need that she doesnt have a good health insurance? answer this question so its on lease.. the this time. It seems these days,based on your 1999 honda. Parents have the average insurance quotes approve me? How does my cars insurance thanks car has no damage selling car and home legislation will require insurance I need to help not, it may be .

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Research paper. Thanks for : 35 yrs., married the difference between insurance insurance (the equavilent charge)? interest on the lump was incorrect. I tried month. i just need I ve learned my lesson that health insurance will legally have to take wife s car got stuck so much for first expensive for a teens been getting health Insurance who does it cover? be probably 5+ years Shield! They suck and Can anyone tell me you can imagine its a small business and is - and could per month, cost for what kind of cover am a college student health insurance in Florida? what is a good going to be getting http://www.carfolio.com/specifications/models/car/?car=131516&Nissan-quote Nissan s-cargo this insurance company I can have we filed.We decided -- not considering some where do I get end after 1 year? an old one, say let alone my family to know how much would cost even if (full cover) on October against affordable health care? by post, by EMAIL my friends say insurance .

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