#this is a whole lot of words to sum up got sent to the past lol magic but plz forgive me it's been a bit & I'm getting back into it

[meraki-yao]

"I just saw a post on Tumblr on someone claiming that and RWRB fan doxxed Nick?" Anon question that you answered to. I got a question on my own about this situation.

Now, I don't know why or if I have to say this, but I'M A NICK FAN, A TAYLOR FAN, AND RWRB FAN (and a TAYNICK fan). So Imma be unbiased (well, hopefully I sound unbiased. And hopefully you can be too.)

I asked an anon to another Tumblr account (not you Meraki) about something that I've been thinking for a while. The Tumblr account posted a screenshot about a another person saying that they want Taylor announcement casting for his projects. Now that's not a problem and I never said it was a problem. But they mentioned that they need to see "that bunch of hater bitches" to shut up. Which I get and I agree. Now, I assumed the "bitch" was a fan of Nick because that's how everyone seems to deal with haters. If people hate on Taylor, they have to be a "Nick fan". If people hate on Nick, they have to be "Taylor fan". So, I sent the Tumblr account an anon that pretty much sums up that I think we should get proof of what people say they saw. Like screenshots. Because, in my opinion, some "Taylor fans" and some "Nick fans" are just making shit up. That they want to start a fan war. And you even said it too: "If you see a claim that makes you uncomfortable or you don't find believable, please check to see if the claim can be backed up by evidence." And pretty much, what I'm trying to ask is, can both "sides" lie about what they see (the hate)? Now, I'm not saying all the fans and not everything is a lie. But people can lie right? Bc at this point, all I'm hearing is the same thing these past months: oh there's hate towards Taylor, so they must be a Nick stan. Oh there's hate towards Nick, to they must be a Taylor stan. (Or an RWRB stan) I mean, if people see it this way, and keep using the actor's name, isn't it toxic? Which is why I hate when people/fans use the name "Nick" and "Taylor" to star a whole debate/fanwar.

Which leads me to what I wanted to asked you (this is about your answer towards the anon post. The " This is a toxic Nick fan making shit up"). If you say toxic Nick fans make shit up, why can't toxic Taylor fans make shit up (now this is because the Tumblr account said that no one makes shit up in Taylor's favor (?) Or side. Idk what word to use here.)? Isn't that kinda biased?

And I know people have different opinions and you're not responsible for what everyone says. But I guess I need an opinion.. ? A non biased opinion. Please. And I guess this whole thing rubs me the wrong way bc people are using Nick and Taylor's name in the fans/people's war. In the war against each other (the normal people. The people behind the accounts).

Okay, there's a lot to unpack here. But thank you for bringing up this topic, because this is a really prevalent topic that should be discussed and examined. And I will try to be as objective as I can. (Sometimes biases are subconscious)

Can both "sides" lie about what they see (the hate)? If you say toxic Nick fans make shit up, why can't toxic Taylor fans make shit up?

Yes, both sides can definitely lie about what they see. Yes, Toxic Taylor fans absolutely can make shit up too if they want to.

I'm not entirely sure if this is part of your question, but in the case of your previous ask, yes, it could have been a toxic Taylor stan. But that post sets out to make Taylor and RWRB fans as the perpetrators and Nick as the victim, so if a toxic Taylor fan was the one to say that that would have meant they were a double agent, which I highly doubt people would use that much time or intellectual resources for something like this.

"Oh there's hate towards Taylor, so they must be a Nick stan. Oh, there's hate towards Nick, so they must be a Taylor stan. (Or an RWRB stan)" I mean, if people see it this way, and keep using the actor's name, isn't it toxic?

Two things to this.

Regarding my use of the word, I admit this is my fault because I am used to this polarizing culture, that's unfortunately the norm where I am, and that was how the culture was in my last active fandom. In Asian celebrity fandoms, there's such a distinction between fan types: group stans, cp/ship stans, solo stans, toxic solo stans, dream girls, dream child, mom stans, sister stans... jesus christ the list goes on. And everyone chooses a label or is demanded a label to be part of the fan community. I subconsciously took that mindset here, that's on me. I apologize. I'm gonna reflect on that and see what's a better way to phrase things.

But in the wider picture, there's a reason why it's so clearly divided into groups like this.

Let's examine the cases that you mentioned before. For fairness's sakes, I'm gonna use X and Y instead of the boys' actual name.

In the scenario where bad things are done to harm the reputation or image of X, we can deduce two things about the perpetrator: 1, the perpetrator doesn't like X, hates them even 2, the perpetrator knows something about X.

But why is it so often a war between two co-stars? Why couldn't it simply been a hater of X without any affiliation with Y?

Now, if whatever was done to damage X's reputation or image, another party that has relations to X, in this case, Y, is brought into discussion and put in a better light, then there's a clear favouritism toward Y. In your previous case, the perpetrator knows that Taylor has been hurled insults by Nick fans, because that statement was phrased as a response statement, and they could have just said "Taylor wasn't insulted" but they specifically said "Taylor wasn't thrown insults by Nick's fans". There's a stance.

Also if someone simply dislikes X without an absolute reason (ex: being a supremacist, abuser, criminal etc), then a more common reaction to people you don't like is to avoid them, instead of dedicating so much time to creating these narratives. (I mean there are ridiculous haters like that too but I don't think that's the majority)

Why is pitting co-stars against each other so common?

That's because, in society, things are by default a competition.

I wanna preface this segment real quick by mentioning this is just one perspective of society/the industry. There can be different takes on it, but I'm using this perspective to explain the scenario at hand.

In the industry, everyone is fighting for their piece, whether that's projects, events, exposure, connections etc. There are far more people who want opportunities than there are opportunities. And through the celebrity-fan parasocial relationship, fans of the celebrity want them to get said opportunities.

In the case where one is only interested in one of the celebrities in a pair, or even a group, the other becomes a competitor, and the fan wants the person they like to win, so they try to drag the other one down.

But why is this competition so prominent between Taylor and Nick? They don't seem to have such issues in their previous projects?

That's because compared to their co-stars in previous projects, as well as their own character's standing in the project, RWRB is the one project where they are on far more equal footing with each other.

For example, for Nick, if you look at Cinderella 2021, he can't be compared to Camilla Cabello even though they're both leads because 1, she's a woman and 2, she's a singer doing an acting project, while he's a full-on actor. if you look at M&G, he can't be compared to Tony Curran even though they're both male actors and the leads (actually you can argue that King James is a secondary lead but I digress), because Tony is a seasoned actor who started his acting career before Nick was even born while Nick is 29.

For Taylor, let's use The Kissing Booth. He can't be compared to Joey King because, again, she's a girl, and actresses are held to a different standard than actors. Jacob Elordi is a little more debatable since they're approximately the same age ranges when it comes to the characters they can get cast as, but the problem there is for the Kissing Booth, the way the story and even marketing material was made, clearly framed Marco as a secondary lead, not the lead. So their position in the movie is different and, therefore less comparable.

RWRB is a movie with two male leads, both of which are attractive males in around the same status ring in the industry and in the late 20s to early 30s age range. It's the fairest comparison you can get when it comes to co-stars. This is why there's such a division when it comes to fans who only like one of the boys, and why if you're interested in Dan Gai (Chinese Gay Novel Adaptation Shows that has been banned from major streaming platforms since 2021), there always ends up being a huge and hostile division between fans of the two leads. It is a literal cyber war. In shows with two leads of the same gender and age range, comparison/ competition is easy. And if the stars in question aren't good friends the way Taylor and Nick are, then yes, they are indeed competitors on the same track.

To be clear, I don't support this mindset, it's pretty toxic. I'm just trying to explain the whole phenomenon to the best of my ability. Please don't be a fan mentioned in the above section.

... Yeah I think that's it for now! Don't know how this turned into a sociology paper, once again proving to myself that I should have been a social science student instead of an engineering student. Anyways please let me know if this helped in any way or if you have any additional thoughts!

#anon ask #answered #meraki essay #fandom culture #celebrity culture #taylor zakhar perez #nicholas galitzine

[harrison-abbott]

There was this other time in high school.

A weekday morning. It would’ve been about 9 a.m. and I had to head to maths class. And the corridors in our school were incredibly claustrophobic. Each time there was a movement of the pupils there was always a traffic jam in the hallways.

And on this particular morning it was worse than usual. On the way to the maths room there was a geography teacher – trying to order the kids about and disorder the clutter of them in an irritable, yelling manner. His name was Mike Creamer. I was right behind him. And a group of other kids, coming in the other direction, darted towards me. So I moved out of their way: and by accident I bumped into Mr Creamer’s shoulder.

He turned and glared at me. I was intimidated by the glare … and the whole corridor went silent.

“Which classroom are you going to?” he demanded of me.

I pointed to the maths corridor to the left. And then he said “Wait in there.” And told me to go inside. I didn’t really know what he was going to do. But I obeyed him and went inside the room. Again – everybody else in the maths class were chilly and quiet and nervous about what he would do. And Creamer stayed in the doorway and I was looking up at him – and he scowled at me with this deep disgust. And it scared me oblivious.

Then he demanded me to come out of the room. And he led me into a small side-corridor down the hall.

And from there he just blared and screamed at me for minutes. He was twice the size of me, a bit bald, with the remaining hair white, totally raging, ranging over me as if he wished to smack me. He used the words instead. “YOU JUST THINK YOU CAN WALK PAST EVERYBODY ELSE!” And so on, so forth.

Honestly. The above incident I described, where I knocked into his shoulder lightly. This was all that had happened. And I had no clue what it is that I’d done wrong or why I had misbehaved.

But when you are so young, you don’t have the verve to overpower adults when they are trying to do that to you. It was hard to maintain eye contact with him (as an autistic person, this is something I already find tricky) and yet I felt I had to, whilst he just hollered and shouted. All I could think of to do was say “I’m sorry.”

And he sent me back to the classroom, shivering.

Then I had to sit through an hour of mathematics, trying to do the sums with trembling fingers.

A few days later I saw him again. Mr Creamer. In the same hallway, actually. He recognised me from the last time; and his face just blackened with rage. As if he was still offended. He looked away and cut past me, fresh and wrathful.

And for a long time afterward I still didn’t understand why he would go to such an extend to berate a young boy like that. I had literally never met him before.

Now that I’m older, I realise it in different ways. I despised that high school. It was a gory, squalid place, a backward, sad, depressed building in a provincial town. It wasn’t even in the town: it was halfway down a raging motorway. Nobody wanted to be there.

I went there for five years and detested every second of it. My eldest brother, who is ten years older, attended there, too, and he said that Mr Creamer was there when he was a pupil. And I have a family-friend who is six years older than me. I told family-friend about this story once, and he said that he had a similar incident with Creamer as well. That he got harangued, too.

So, Mike Creamer had already been in this horrible place for over a decade. And he dealt with his anger by exploding at children. Basically?

Is it as simple as that? To go out of your way to pinpoint a boy and explode at him. I was 14. Couldn’t defend myself.

It’s very hard to forgive incidents like this. I think about this one quite a lot; or, have thought about it continuously since it happened, around sixteen years ago.

The great irony of the whole story is in relation to what another of my brothers had said to me. Before it happened. My big brother Louis, the second-eldest.

Louis used to say that, of all his favourite teachers, it was Mr Creamer. Because they were both fans of The Smiths, and they used to talk about how much they loved Morrisey. Louis remarked that he and Creamer were pally and liked to talk about music in between Geography lessons.

Would Creamer, therefore, have blared at me like that if he’d known that I was Louis’ little brother? Or, afterward, if he’d learned that fact, been ashamed about what he’d done?

I get that we’re not all ‘morning people’. (As for me – I tend to write most in the nocturnal hours, the a.m. period, when the world is most silent; but that’s not technically morning.) And that we can be in bad moods. We are tired and hate our jobs and don’t wish to be here, hate where our life has taken us.

But I don’t think there is anything excusable about what than man did to me that day.

To use your small role of power as a high school teacher to do that. That is not cool. That’s plain abusive, a loss of control, sadistic.

And, so, what is the conclusion? Well … I will never do a similar thing to a younger person. When we are in our teens we are at our most vulnerable. Social interaction is just excruciating. We can’t handle things like irate, bitter, spent, desperate, unhappy adults: we just don’t understand where the wrath comes from.

I couldn’t be mean to a kid, like that. That’s the positive angle to take from this tale.

#writeblr #personal essay #diary #memoir

[condomglitter]

@matteredloyalty ​  liked for a starter ;;

It was beautiful, here. 

From the verdant landscape to the depths of the night sky, everything was just so much... more. More stars, more trees, more intense, more alive than Natalie had ever seen or felt before. She hated to admit that anyone she disliked was right, but there was truth to what Boone said in the middle of his mind numbing monologues. The world had been prettier, back when he’d been young. 

Of course, no amount of beauty made up for being stuck here. 

And nothing - NOTHING - would make up for the foul role Boone had played in putting her here. 

The old, immortal cowboy was a vile, hateful man. His anger was a vicious, tangible thing. It seemed to strangle her every time they met, throttling her with uncertainty that made her feel like the world had tilted under her feet. It felt unfair that it be directed towards her -- she hadn’t even been born when Zak had crossed him -- but she understood where it was coming from. Zak had wronged him. Even he admitted that. And, in the end, she WAS the crack in Zak’s armour. The flaw in his defenses. Unlike he and Boone, she wasn’t immortal. She wasn’t a beast. BUT ;; she was Zak’s apprentice. His protégé. His family.

His weakness. 

Taking her from him made sense. She probably would have done it too, in Boone’s position. It read as a sort of poetic justice, in a way. Zak had, however unintentionally, taken his family from him. Boone had just...returned the favour. 

Perhaps she should have been grateful that all he’d done was send her through some half cocked portal into the fucking past, instead of killing her, but she was decidedly not in a position to feel grateful about anything related to Jack motherfucking dramatic bullshit “Calamity” Boone. 

She was dirty. She was wet. She’d been chased by some puritan, god-fearing assholes for half the night for being a witch and a whore and she quite frankly wasn’t sure which one was worse, to them. She hadn’t eaten in a dog’s age, and her freckled skin was burnt, chapped, and peeling from the harshness of the sun overhead. She had no idea where she really was, or when it even was, just that from the shanty shithole she’d first fallen into, it was not the modern world she’d left. She was... fuck, she was tired. 

Lying down and giving up wasn’t quite her style, though. So... she needed to survive. Which meant she needed to blend in. 

Which meant theft!

Which had brought her - dirty, wet, burnt, tired, sore and pissy - to the edge of a ridge above what appeared to be a camp, of some sort. She didn’t know what they had in there, but surely one of them had some clothing she could steal... right? The modern rags she was still wearing made her stick out like a sore thumb, and if she was going to get herself settled into one of those shithole shanty towns, she was going to have to dress like one of them. 

She was just pushing herself up from where she’d settled to hide and spy when she heard something shift, behind her. A rustle of leaves, the crack of a branch; silence, perhaps, in the noise of the forest that had grown to become her company. All the hair on the back of her head stood up on end in terror as she rolled and whirled around, pointing two dangerous fingers at whoever had come up behind her. She didn’t have much mana left, just now - but she definitely had enough to blast some hillbilly fuck far enough away that he’d think twice about coming back. 

“Who’s there? Don’t you dare touch me.” 

#❧|| ᴄᴀsᴛɪɴɢ sᴘᴇʟʟs ;; ic #matteredloyalty #❧|| ᴛʀᴀᴠᴇʟʟᴇʀ ;; crossover #this is a whole lot of words to sum up got sent to the past lol magic but plz forgive me it's been a bit & I'm getting back into it #I wasn't sure what to do?? so if this doesn't work just dm me & we can come up with s th else!

[cinnamonest]

Ok but also modern Xiao is the exact type of boy to fall madly in love with a camgirl/egirl.

Like people joke about "beta" dudes and simps being the type to like camgirls and whatnot but from what I've heard from accounts of camgirls, those dudes are the most *vocal*, but the real loyal viewers are the silent ones. Quiet, socially inept kissless-virgin loners that don't have a social life to speak of.

As a camgirl you get a lot of commenters during streams -- there's always dudes who feel the need, for whatever reason, to comment on parts of your body or the acts you perform, or a bunch of simple comments like "hot!!" and, you know, various spammed emojis. And most of the bastards seem to think their comments are worth more than money, since they leave the bare minimum despite all their drooling over you, but that's just how people are.

You do get one, though, that's virtually silent. Almost a lurker, if it weren't for the massive cash drops the guy deposits once per stream and one very short comment. It's very simple, it's always a huge donation, followed by a very simple request for this or that, a request that certainly isn't really worth the insane sum of money you're being given. Worded very plainly, no descriptive language or use of emojis or anything, it's more like "suck on it." or "use that one." Sometimes he alone out-donates the rest of your viewers combined.

Not to mention, he's the sole subscriber to the top tier of that patreon you started. So the mystery guy gets a lot of benefits. A custom 10-minute video per month, for starters. You weren't really certain what else you should put on that tier... So you contact him about it and agree upon sending him something per request every month. He's a gross perv, which you could have easily predicted. Asks for things like used underwear and shirts, lipstick prints on your polaroids, hell, you even fill up a tiny container with saliva once for him. Oh, bathwater too. Gross. But he's paying, so.

And then, he starts asking... For something different. A conversation. You're a bit surprised at first, but he's serious. So you do it. Schedule a thirty minute session, message back and forth. You expected maybe he wanted to say something, but you end up doing 99% of the talking - he just asks simple questions. What do you do when you're not working? What do you do for fun? Do you have any family? Do you have any friends? Essentially an interrogation into your life. It feels like the kind of questions someone would ask on a first date, to be honest. You can't help but feel some pity for the guy if he's so lonely that he's willing to pay for this, so, you let it go a bit over the time limit.

You ask some things in return - he seems to not like talking about himself, quickly turns back around to questioning you, but gives brief answers - You're surprised to learn he's young, and not, well, a gross old dude like you're aware most viewers are. Seems odd, why can't he just go out and meet people? You can't say so directly, it would be rude, but he seems to pick up on the hint from things you say and answers the unspoken question - I'm not good with people.

He's aware of how it all works. He's not a delusional bastard that thinks a girl on the internet actually gives a shit about anything but his money, but... It feels nice. He's... A very lonely person. Never got along well with others, never really had anyone that cared. You're always so sweet in your little messages, you send little heart emojis and smileys and xoxo's in every message you send him, and he knows it's part of the act, but sometimes he does like to pretend it's real. The semblance of kindness and warmth and love. Likes to pretend you're being that sweet because that's how you actually are. Likes to forget that he's living on ramen and has a flat-zero savings balance because he's blowing his grocery money and savings on you. Likes to forget the transaction entirely, pretend there's no money involved. And most importantly, likes to forget you have plenty of other dudes that pay for you.

If he's being honest, he does sometimes let... Fantasies run through his head. Sometimes. But he knows it's dumb. And he feels pathetic about it, really. It's not like he can even hope to get a girlfriend in real life, he can't even remember the last time he talked to a female human being. Or... Anyone, for that matter. He has no friends, he works from home online. To say his social life is empty is an understatement.

Becoming addicted to you is only natural. He realizes he's becoming obsessed, but doesn't see any point in fighting it. You're just so sweet, so nice, and you even take your clothes off too. So he... Kinda starts to lie to himself, intentionally. It's almost kinda like having a girlfriend, isn't it? A... Long distance one. That doesn't know his name, that he probably doesn't know your real name, and has never seen his face, but... Still. It's kinda like that, isn't it? Maybe, just maybe, he can hold a little bit of hope in that dream every dude that ever loves a camgirl has... That somehow, a miracle happens and he has a real chance.

But it occurs to him that even if that's not what fate has in mind, he can make that reality come true.

Perhaps you're desensitized to creepy, given how so many of your followers are, so you make what will ultimately be a mistake. One month he asks for something... Odd. Says he wants to send you something that you should wear in your stream, that's the arrangement for this month. You set up a PO box. Figure it can't lead directly to you that way. It's a t-shirt, rather plain single color. It occurs to you that it's probably one of his, that he'll get off to seeing you wear, but something feels... Off about the whole exchange. Like there's some other intention you don't realize.

See, he's a bit tech savvy and has already well figured out where you live in general, he just wasn't sure which apartment it was, so he waits outside for you to pick up the package and follows you home. What a perfect, utterly unimaginable coincidence it turned out to be - here you could have been separated by oceans and countries and yet, it turned out you two lived in the very same town! Well, you knew that when he sent you his address for mailing, but you were smarter than to inform the guy who spends nearly his entirely salary on a camgirl (let's face it, no one who does that can be a mentally stable person) that you just so happen to live so close together. He realizes you avoided mentioning that realization, but he understands why.

Yes, he understands exactly why you wouldn't tell him, because you know that if he found that out, then he might do exactly what he knows he's going to do.

Also, you seem to be looking over your shoulder a lot more lately. He would know, he counts the number of times you do it every day for the past week. At least when you're outside, he can't see you as well when you're inside your place, even with the binoculars.

Your paranoia is what he thinks about as he goes to the store - walks there of course, so no cameras capture license plates. Wears a hoodie over his head. Self-checkout. Pay with cash, untraceable. Double-bags to make sure no one can see the red-flag combination of acetone, bleach and duct tape.

Yeah, he can't say he blames you, but you started being cautious a little bit too late.

#scheduled post #yan.txt #.camgirl

[theflyingfeeling]

So I don't know what you've already heard of the Lahti concert from other sources but here's my report anyway 🖤

The first thing I need to tell you is that in front of me there was this sweet sweet girl who needed a hair tie so I borrowed her mine because I wasn't using it and as a thank you she filmed me so many, long videos and she had an EXCELLENT view to the stage!!! 😭

I mean, I did too, holy shit they were close, my breath was taken away when Porko suddenly appeared what felt like mere metres away from me 😵

I could see all their expressions and omg 🥺 they were all so happy to be playing a show again 🥺🥺 I especially loved the look on Niko's face and in general I was happy to see him a little better, I feel like I didn't see much of him at the Tampere gig

Joel did lots of interaction with Joonas as per usual and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 sometimes he went up to stand next to Aleksi and just 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 smile and look at him 😭😭😭😭

OLLI SANG!!! ........except that he didn't 🤡 They/we hyped it up and everyone was like omg he's gonna sing HE'S GONNA SING--- and then he fucking lipsynced to the opening of a Bon Jovi song 🤠 I swear to fucking god. This man is such a troll and I hate him 💞

Also, getting fucking rickrolled at a BC concert is NOT what I thought I'd ever experience, and yet 🤠 thx Porko <3

Aleksi had a little DJ solo of his own and everyone was happy 🥰 He also jumped around the stage during Sharks Love Blood 💓

Speaking of which, The Kiss was 💀!! It happened right in front of my salad and I died, I'm actually writing this from the grave

The setlist??!?! They played SO MANY SONGS I DID NOT EXPECT THEM TO, such as Giants and Enemy For Me 😵 Giants especially was a special moment to me personally, will post a video tomorrow 💗

And they STARTED with Balboa of all the songs, blasting my brain right to the back wall 👌

Niko/Joonas flirting, but what else is new (Niko @ the crowd: "I've been looking at you all evening." Joonas @ Niko: "I've been looking at you too 😏" Niko: "who's surprised, hands up" lmaooo these guys 🥰)

Tommi didn't say a single fucking word the whole gig lol go on give us nothing, #onsealfa

Probably forgot something, will add later

I've had a shit past two months due to work stuff, but this kind of made up for it all. I love this band so much and oh god I'm gonna cry

Anyone with whom I talked about the gig beforehand knows how nervous I was (thanks for all the nice words btw <3) but, as per usual, everything went perfectly fine, I had possibly the best night of my life so far, and I'm so so happy that I went. I wish it would never have ended.

Some time ago someone sent me an ask asking what's the best concert I've been to. Back then I answered Antti Tuisku @ 2017 SuomiPopFestarit and BC @ Tampere back in August. They have now been replaced, and only another BC gig will ever compare. They are amazing live, and if you are given the chance to go to their concert, TAKE IT AND RUN 🖤

But let me tell ya, one of my absolute favourite moments happened AFTER the gig at the merch stall 🙈 This is the interaction I had with Miki, roughly translated:

Miki: *struggles to find the size tag of the WANS hoodie I'm buying*

me: it's an S

Miki: S, got it. *tells me the sum of my purchases*

me: *hands him my credit card*

Miki: *takes the card and inserts it in the payment terminal* it's a busy night!

me: yeah, but it's good you got your hands full am I right

Miki: yes, it's a positive problem! *tells me how to navigate on the payment terminal*

me: *barely manages to choose debit instead of credit and then just stares at the machine when it asks for my pin code because 1) the machine looks completely different to those in grocery stores for example, and 2) I had not expected to get to do small talk with Miki lol)

Miki: ..did you blackout?

me: YES, the numbers are in different order, you know, from the ones they have in grocery stores?!

Miki: *takes out that exact kinda payment terminal I'm talking about* no, they're in the same order

me: *upon seeing the more familiar-looking machine, remembers her pin code, THANK HEAVENS, and the payment is accepted* Y E S

In conclusion, you are all invited to our summer wedding 🥰🤣

#blind channel #blind channel @ lahti 3.12.2021 #pls understand the last part is a joke 😅 #i had the best time 🥰 #my concert #gig reports by theflyingfeeling

[fnf-amateur-writing]

Hey! It’s Fox again! How are you doing? I just started school back up today, so I’ve been busy Xp.

Think you would be cool with writing some Pico with an s/o who is a writer, and tends to ask him about things like “hey, how long does it take someone to bleed out” or other things like that?

I understand if you don’t feel like it, and I hope you’re having fun 😊

🦊

Hello again Fox, I'm doing quite well rn. I'm cool with your prompt, especially since I need more writing material anyways.

Took me a while, because I didn't want to do a hc, but rather come up with a oneshot with a little twist to the style. Well, hope it works well.

Good luck with school, mate!

TW: Mentions of violence, swearing, slight sexual reference, and crime.

Pico with a writer S/O who asks him strange questions

Prologue:

On a chilly autumn morning, you were sitting out on your patio with a laptop and a mug of your favourite beverage next to you. Whenever you looked up, you could see the warm coloured leaves fall as the breeze accompanied you. The whole scene was an aesthetic.

When your boyfriend, Pico, came outside to see this, he knew that the nice environment you surrounded yourself with meant one thing. "You're back in your writing space already. Heh, with that bestseller you published, I thought you were comfy taking a break." You simply smiled and said, "can't waste the inspiration rush I got right now."

Pico had a good point though, with your rising popularity as an author, you were near set to retire before turning fourty. But you wish you weren't given all of the credit, since your boyfriend's stories of his dodgy job has occasionally sparked some ideas for your stories. However the books you wrote in the past were usually meant for the young adult and had few mature themes. This time, you thought maybe it's time to garner extra inspiration from those stories.

You were met with some disappointment when you realised that your mug was empty, only a drop entering your mouth. "Here, babe, I'll ya some more," Pico said, taking your mug and walking inside. "Quick question," you stopped him. "Yeah?"

"What would be the best place for a murder cemetery?"

"... What?"

Chapter 1:

"So you're doing some story about the police hunting down a mass murderer?"

"Pretty much."

"And to think you were gonna write Pixar's next script. Aight' I respect that." Pico takes a seat next to you with a refill of your drink placed next to your favourite writing laptop. "Thanks, Pico. But yeah, I want to branch out to something edgier, and I think you can help too."

"Let me show you what I've got so far." You showed him some of your notes in a little notepad document, detailing the story thus far and your current plans for this chapter. "Oh, that's it? Just looks like boring police preparation mainly," Pico commented. "Yeah, it's not much right now. But it'll get juicy later." "And bloody?" "And bloody."

"Welp, I'm gonna head back in," Pico got up, "let me know if you need anything." He head back inside, closing the door, but then opened it almost immediately afterwards. Pico stuck his head out, "by the way, the guy should use some strong alcohol or something to throw off those sniffer dogs."

Chapter 2:

"And then, because they used a silencer, the police don't immediately notice the--"

"Nope! I'm calling bullshit (Y/N)!" Pico had suddenly interrupted your explanation of the scene you were currently working on. "Silencers can help prevent some hearing loss, sure, but they're not magic."

"Alright," you reply, "no silencer, but the killer still has to kill in a way to not get blood on them, so I thought shooting and killing them from a distance would work." "Well, they're alone. Instead, have the guy get shanked in the neck or something, and have the killer use a plastic bag as a glove. It saved my ass one time."

"Woah!" you exclaimed with a giggle, "you used a knife once? What happened to my trigger happy boyfriend, huh? That's pretty sus."

"I forgot to reload the Uzis, alright?"

"What an impostor would say."

Chapter 3:

"What would be the best way to muffle the scream of someone you kidnapped?"

You two were sitting on the couch together watching a show. You didn't have your laptop on you, so Pico didn't expect you to still be thinking about that book. "I can't say from experience, really," he said as he paused the show. "However, shove a rag in their mouth and duct tape it in, and you should be good."

"Thanks Pico, also one more thing." "Yeah?" "What if our killer also wanted to..." God, this one was gonna be awkward, but you had to say it or else no help. "You know, cut off this victim's willy. How would you do that?"

"Wai-wha-uh-ga," Pico started fumbling his words like never before. He stopped, then took a deep breath. "YO, WHAT THE FUCK?!" "It'll make sense in the story later, I promise!" You watch Pico begin to lose it, breaking into laughter. "Ladies, gentlemen, and others," Pico dramatically stood up, pulling a little Showcaster impression and directing his arms towards you, "my famous 'young' adult novelist partner!"

Chapter 4:

It was in the dead of night, but you awoke to Pico on his phone. His vpn was on and Tor was up. As per usual, he was checking up on his little hitman service, where others could request for a certain someone's guts to fly if they paid him a hefty sum first. Though tired, you ound this to be the best time to ask him some more questions.

"Pico, how do those sites work?"

"Oh, you're awake," Pico blankly stated, sleepy too. But he still answered you. "Basically, some anonymous rich guys in the area give me money and a target, then I just do the thing and send a mission accomplished email." "Do they pay you in person?" "Nah, we use always use Bitcoin. It's a lot harder to trace than real money."

"Thanks Pico. Goodnight," you wish him, yawning and going back to sleep. "You too... So this guy is a hit man too?" "Hush. Tomorrow." "Okay." Pico puts his phone away, leaving it on a nightstand. You then spoon the night away, peacefully thinking of murder as you drifted off.

Chapter 5:

On a morning similar to before, you two sat on the patio with your drinks and laptop at the ready. Pico watched rather awkwardly as you typed away, wondering why you haven't entertained him with another question yet.

"You gonna ask anything else?" "What? Oh, nah," you plainly state. Inevitable, sure, but he was kind of saddened. He liked being able to share his messed up wisdom. "So, you're done?" "Almost." You turn to look at him, "want the spoilers?" Pico smiled, "sure thing."

In the novella you and Pico crafted together, the main character is a cop who hunts down a killer. They eventually notice that there would be two murders at a time for unknown reasons. Well, it was unknown until one victim had left up a dark web hit man for hire site. They that the hit man not only kills the target, but the client as a hidden price for the service.

And any request will be fulfilled, according to the hit man's site.

"Do they catch 'em?" Pico asked. "Well, ANY request is granted. So, if our hero were to... hire him to kill himself..."

"No way!"

"He did. They find both of their bodies in his bedroom."

Pico was a bit impressed with the ending you came up with, but then he remembered something. "Why did that guy get his thing cut off?" "Lol, I forgot," you giggled. "He sent a message to the hit man, saying he wishes the target would choke on his dick."

"That's my favourite part."

Epilogue:

After everything was finished up, you sent the book off to your editor. After the initial joy of knowing how the story ended, you saw that Pico was still in thought. "What's up with you?" "Oh nothing, well it's just... I'm probably just biased, being that I'm a bit of a hitman myself, but it's kind of sad to see the guy go."

"Then I should spoil the epilogue I came up with." Rather than being excited, Pico nervously asked, "what's an epilogue?" He didn't get an answer, only you staring at him. "Sorry, school held too many bad memories for me to pay attention."

"Anyways," you continue, "the rest of the police gang did some background checks, and find that our killer was a normal guy with no criminal history."

"Penilian?"

"No. But I did decide to take a more supernatural approach here. Somewhere across the country, another string of double homicides occur and that site is active once more. And the story kind of repeats itself."

"Penilian."

"You joker," you give him a playful little kiss on the cheek, one that definitely caught him off guard. "So is it canon?" Pico smirked. "Nah, just thanking you for being my cute little co-author." "Oh," Pico started, "so we're flirtin' now, huh. Come here babe!" He tackled you onto the ground, giving you several kisses in exchange.

"Actually, I think we call that 'making out'," you chuckle out, flustered. "But that doesn't mean I said stop'!" You pull him in for more, accidentally bonking your heads together rather painfully. "Nice double kill there, (Y/N)."

#fnf x reader #fnf imagines #pico x reader #fnf pico

[poppywrites41]

Captive Love Ch. 2

Prince! Yoongi x Maid! Reader

Here is chapter 2! This chapter will focus on Y/N’s first day of work…and maybe a little bit of a cliffhanger.

Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, violence, description of past deaths, mentions of smut

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“Rise and shine girls!” Lilith shouts through the halls of the servants’ quarters, her meaty fists pounding on each of the girl’s doors. Y/N swears she can feel her room shake every time that woman’s fist comes in contact with a door. “You all have 10 minutes to get dressed and come down to eat!” Lilith calls, her heels clacking away. Y/N raises her arms up to stretch. She looks out of her small window to see a garden with a path that leads to a small set of doors going into the back of the castle. She turns to her cupboard and takes out her servant’s outfit. She takes off her dress that she wore yesterday, neatly folded it like her mother taught her to, and placed it in the cupboard. She took a look at the outfit laid out on the bed. It was not elegant in the slightest, but it was sure prettier than any outfit she had worn in her life. It was a pretty beige with ¾ sleeves that were flexible enough to move the arms comfortably to perform the needed tasks. The skirt was neatly fitted on the waist and ran to the ankles. It was not puffy at all and had a comfortable feel to it. And to top it all off, pretty little white lace ruffles were added to the ends of the sleeves and around the top opening to give it some style, which Y/N really appreciated. When she got the dress on, Y/N took a look at herself in the small mirror hanging on her wall above her tiny sink. She spotted some dirt on her cheeks, probably from the wagon, so she splashed her face with water, rubbing at her skin. After her facewash, she noticed how messy her hair had gotten. She ran her fingers through the h/c locks and tied the hair in the front to the back, creating a half up-half down style. She made her way to her door, slipping on her shoes and head down the hall to the servants dining hall.

When she arrived, she found a seat at a table where some of the girls she arrived with yesterday were sitting at. They were not talking to each other as much as the other servants were, probably because they were new or nervous. Y/N sat down next to a young girl with dark brown hair. Once she sat down, an older woman brought her a tray with a piece of bread, some water and a small bowl of what looked like to be chicken broth. Y/N turned to the girl and offered a small smile, “Hi, I’m Y/N. We came together on the wagon yesterday. Sorry for not introducing myself earlier.” The girl’s hazel eyes met hers and she gave Y/N a small smile, “It’s okay. I’m Emily. I don’t really talk when I’m nervous. I have a lot of anxiety when I feel pressured.” She said in a quiet tone. “I get it. I am totally nervous. I mean, yesterday I was living my normal life and now suddenly, I’m a servant to the royal family. The people who I thought of as family, gave me away for money without a second thought.” Y/N said taking a bite of her bread and immediately chasing it down with some water. Emily frowned, “I’m sorry to hear that.” “So,” Y/N said after eating a spoonful of the bland broth, “How did you get here?” Emily looked down at her food and played with it with her spoon, “I’m actually a twin. My sister and I are daughters of bakers. My mom and dad worked so hard their entire life, baking for the royal family. My sister was a big help in the kitchen. She is so smart, kind, outgoing and beautiful. She is pretty much everything I am not. I would usually mess up tasks that would get me in trouble, but she would always defend me. My parents loved me, don’t get me wrong, they were just worried about me a lot. I wasn’t let out a lot. I could have been an embarrassment to them. Then, my sister met a man who came from a good family. They fell in love and are to be married. However, the guards came before the wedding and were trying to get my parents to give them my sister for a large sum of money. So that’s when I volunteered myself to go in her place. I didn’t want her to leave everything behind and to ruin her chance of a happily ever after, so I went in her place.” Y/N looked at the girl with awe, “You are such a good and brave sister to go in her place. I’m sure she is very thankful for you. I don’t think you are an embarrassment. Just stick with me and we will get through this together!” Emily smiles at her and nods in agreement. Before anything else could be said, Lilith’s voice was booming throughout the room, “Mealtime is over! Everyone sit down a listen. Tomorrow is the Grand Royal Gala so we will need to clean the castle extra today. Royal families from all over the country will be attending so I want that castle spotless. Here are the groups and their tasks for the day. Rosetta, you and your hall will clean the floors and windows of the ball room. Claire, take your girls and polish all of the utensils and dishware. Isabel, you and your hall are in charge of cleaning the dinning hall. I want that space especially clean.”

While scrubbing away the dirt on the floor of the halls, Y/N reflected on what Elizabeth informed them about the royal family:

First off, the king. He has his own personal servants who clean, dress and cook for him, so it was highly unlikely for her to be involved with him. He is a strict ruler and likes for everything to be perfect. He does not interfere much with his sons’ lives, but he is more attentive to his two eldest sons. He wants to make sure they are both well-educated and fit enough to rule the kingdom when his time is up.

Same goes for the queen. She is a more carefree person than her husband. She enjoys balls and festivities. She interacts more with her sons than her spouse, but definitely more with her youngest sons, since the older ones are with the king or in counsel or military meetings. She clearly loves her family but is not the most observant or caring mother. She lets them do as they please.

Now, the eldest prince, Prince Seokjin. He is the next in line for the throne. Elizabeth said that he is very serious about his role in the family. With his brothers, he can be a fun person who will crack jokes and enjoy the company of others. But when wronged, he can be a completely different person. He once chopped off a chef’s fingers for making a soup too spicy for his liking and fed those fingers to his dogs. Since he will most likely become king in the near future, more galas will be held to find the prince a suitable wife. Overall, Y/N believes that she will not be in contact with the prince very often either.

The second eldest is Prince Yoongi, the second in line for the throne. According to Elizabeth, he rarely shows his face in public. He is extremely introverted. He keeps to himself, usually in his room where he will write poems, or he will be sleeping. Even with his introverted nature, he is somewhat of a genius. Elizabeth said that when he was a teenager, the king went to war with a foreign land and was at a disadvantage. It was Prince Yoongi, at age 16, that stepped in and completely remodeled the military tactics, which won them the war. However, like his brother, when wronged, he turns into a beast. One day, he was asleep in his room when a servant came in to clean. The servant did not notice the prince asleep and continued his task. It was not until he accidentally knocked the prince’s favorite ink off of his table and spilled it on the ground. The prince woke up in a rage. The man tried to apologize to the prince, only to have himself sent to the dungeons for a week with no food or water. On the last day, Prince Yoongi went down to see the servant, only to behead him himself.

When Elizabeth told them that story, Y/N felt deep chills run down her spine. Hopefully she won’t have to interact with Yoongi during her time at the castle.

From what she heard about the third and fourth oldest princes, Hoseok and Namjoon, they are not as hot tempered as the two eldest. Hoseok is a kind person with a bubbly personality, but when he is pushed the wrong way, he can be a force to be reckoned with. Namjoon on the other hand has not publicly displayed any hostile actions. He is extremely smart and a good leader. From what Elizabeth said, Namjoon is somewhat of a leader to all the brothers. He is very considerate of all of their opinions and is able to settle any arguments between the brothers. Y/N does not suspect to have any issues with those two princes.

Now the last three. Jimin and Taehyung, the fraternal twins who like to cause mischief in the palace. They seem to like to pick on the staff and belittle anyone who is of lower status then themselves. Out of the two of them, Taehyung is more sadistic. He will keep harassing staff members until they leave, hurt themselves or commit suicide. Jimin on the other hand, likes to make people, especially the women he has accompany him in his chambers, feel like they cannot survive without him. Whenever he has wronged one of his girls and they try to talk to him about it, he uses his charming attitude and well-chosen words to turn the whole conversation around onto the girls. He would make them feel like they were the ones who wronged him, and they would apologize to him and swear that they will do better.

Last but not least, the youngest prince, Jungkook. He had everything handed to him on a diamond plate. Elizabeth noted that his beauty almost rivals that of his oldest brother and Jungkook knows it. She said that he excels in anything he does. However, he is probably the scariest out of all the brothers. Jungkook can get away with anything…ANYTHING. Apparently, he was in love with a princess once and planned on marrying her. One day before he planned on proposing to her, he caught her having sex with one of his guards in the library. Furious, he went to his room and waited for her to return. When she did, he asked her where she was, and she lied to him saying that she went for a walk in the palace garden. Jungkook then called the guard she was with into his room and had two guards block the doors out of his room. He tied the princess to a chair, ignoring her cries trying to convince him that she would never cheat on him. He then ordered the guard to remove all of his clothing, leaving him nude. Jungkook had the guard put on prison cuffs himself while the prince hammered a hook into the wall. He beckoned the naked guard to lift his cuffed hands onto the hook. Once everything was in place, he slowly began to castrate the guard, relishing in the man’s screams of agony and the princesses’ shrill screams of horror. After he castrated him, Jungkook swiftly sliced the man’s neck, causing blood to spew out from the slash and him to choke on his own blood, all the while Jungkook forced the princess to watch. Once the man’s body stopped twitching, he untied the frozen princess and took her to his balcony. The princess began apologizing to the prince promising that she will never be unfaithful to him ever again, swearing her loyalty to him and begging for his forgiveness. He gave her a warm smile and gave her a small kiss on the lips, telling her that she is forgiven. And Just as the princess began to relax, Jungkook shoved her over the balcony and watched her body fall to ground. When the prince’s parents found out, they sent word to the princesses’ father that she had run off with a man and that they cannot find them anywhere. The princesses’ father believed them and sent search parties all around the country, never to find out the truth about what happened to his daughter. It’s because of that incident that Jungkook ends the lives of those who betray him.

All of a sudden, she heard something being knocked over and water spilling. Then a sudden cry of pain. Worried that one of girls hurt themselves, Y/N immediately got up and ran down the hall towards the noise, ignoring Emily telling her not to involve herself.

Y/N could hear a males voice from down the hall, “You stupid whore!! Your spilled you water on my fucking new shoes!!”

Once she turned the corner to where she would find the girl, her eyes widened, and her heart stopped.

#poppywrites41 #yoongi x reader smut #yandere yoongi #bts yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #prince yoongi #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Present from Mukami [PART 1]

ー The scene starts in Yui’s bedroom

Yui: Today’s Christmas Eve, huh...?

( When I was still living with Father, we were always extremely busy during this time of year with preparations for the Christmas Mass. )

( We would decorate the church for the Mass...or make tons of sweets to hand out to the children as gifts... )

( Somehow that feels like part of a distant past now... )

Haah...

ー Kou enters the room

Kou: Heya~! M-neko-chan~!

Yui: ...Kou-kun?

Kou: No need to act so surprised, right? What’s wrong? You seem kind of down?

Yui: Um, could you please knock on the door before entering? I’d really appreciate it...

Kou: Eh~~? Why bother going through the extra trouble?

Besides, I live here, remember? My house, my rules, no?

Yui: H-Hm...That might be the case, but...

( I have a feeling he won’t understand... )

So, why are you here? Is there anything you need from me...?

Kou: Hm~~? I only came to hang out because I was bored~

Yui: I see. Are you off from work today?

Kou: Exactly! Today’s my first free day in a long time!

Anyway, more importantly, M-neko-chan. You were talking about how it’s Christmas Eve today earlier...Right?

Yui: Yeah...I had a bit of an ‘oh, right!’ moment.

Kou: ‘Oh, right’...? You’re talking as if you only just noticed.

Yui: Yeah...But I really did recall only now. It totally slipped my mind...

Kou: To think you’d forget about such an important event! Is everything okay, M-neko-chan?

Yui: I mean, you guys don’t celebrate Christmas, do you?

Kou: Hmー Well, we’re Vampires after all. We obviously don’t feel like celebrating it, nor are we interested.

Yui: ...Figured as much. There aren’t any Christmas decorations inside the house either...

Besides, I haven’t gone out much as of late either...

Kou: Now that you mention it, you’ve just been going back and forth between here and school without making any additional stops, huh?

If you were to head out, you’d discover that the whole city is in a Christmas mood. 

There really is no way to look past it, whether you like it or not...

Yui: Yeah, but I haven’t gotten a chance to go look...So I completely forgot...

Kou: Hmー...

Ah, say, M-neko-chan? How have you spent your Christmas Eve in the past?

Yui: Eh...?

Kou: I mean, I don’t know how normal families celebrate the holidays.

Yui: Hm...Right. My personal experience might be a little different from the standard though.

Kou: Heeh? In what way?

Yui: You know that my Father works as a Priest, right?

Kou: Ahー I feel like I heard that somewhere before.

Yui: We hold a Mass at church on Christmas day, so we have to prepare for that the night before.

Kou: Prepare? Like the Christmas lights they put up in town?

Yui: Yeah. Ours weren’t quite as elaborate, of course.

On the day of the Mass, the visitors light a candle, take a seat and pray...

Then afterwards we read passages from the Bible.

At the very end, someone will play the orgle and everyone sings together.

It creates such a lovely medley of singing voices...I loved that part.

Kou: Hmm, I see...But is that actually fun?

Yui: Yeah, it is. It is an important day to me after all.

( It’s a day full of memories of the time I spent with Father as well, after all... )

Kou: Hmー So that’s how it is. I mean, I don’t really understand but...Oh, I know!

The other day, this one person at work told me that Christmas Eve is a special day you should spend with your lover. (1)

Have you ever spent Christmas Eve with a special someone before?

Yui: No...I was always helping out for the Mass at Church after all...

Kou: I see...

ー Ruki enters the room

Ruki: The two of you are making a ruckus. At least close the door when you’re talking.

Yui: Ah, Ruki-kun...Yuma-kun and Azusa-kun as well. What’s the matter?

Yuma: We just happened to run into each other in the hallway. Ya guys were talkin’ hella loud.

Yui: S-Sorry...

Azusa: Eve and Kou...The two of you seemed to be having a fun chat.

Kou: Really? It wasn’t anything special though.

Ruki: Anyway, Kou, come with me. Livestock, you stay in your room.

Yui: S-Sure...

Kou: Eh~~...? Oh well, whatever. I got to learn something new at least.

See you later, M-neko-chan~!

ー The four of them leave

Yui: They left...

( Somehow it suddenly got quiet. )

( ...Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded talking for a little longer... )

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Kou: ...Say, say, Ruki-kun. Why don’t the four of us throw a Christmas party?

Ruki: Haah...I was wondering what you would bring up all of a sudden.

Kou: I mean, M-neko-chan seemed kind of sad, you see~

She was raised at a Church, right?

So it seems like Christmas and such brings back a lot of memories for her.

Yuma: So that’s what the two of ya were talkin’ ‘bout earlier, huh?

Azusa: ...Say, what is...Christmas?

Kou: Ah, are you interested, Azusa-kun?

Christmas itself is on the 25th of December and the day before that is called ‘Christmas Eve’.

It’s the day on which they celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ~

Azusa: Heeh, then...Today is the 24th so it’s...Christmas Eve...right?

Kou: Exactlyー! So I was thinking we could hold a little celebration?

Ruki: Azusa, did you not celebrate Christmas back when you were still human?

Azusa: ...We did not have that kind of celebration...

Ruki: How about you, Yuma?

Yuma: Hmー... Now that ya mention it, I do feel as if the city was a lil’ more lively ‘round this time of year...I think...?

I might have celebrated it back when I was a child, but I forgot.

Kou: I’m pretty sure my answer should be obvious but...Ah, you must have celebrated it, right, Ruki-kun?

Ruki: Well, yes.

Kou: Makes sense. You are a rich boy after all~

Azusa: Say, Ruki? How exactly do you celebrate it...?

Ruki: You decorate the inside of the house, say your prayers to God and enjoy a meal with the whole family.

There’s special foods and snacks which are only enjoyed on that particular day of year...

Also, you would exchange presents...I suppose that about sums it up.

Azusa: ...Exchanging presents...I honestly don’t care about the exchanging part. I’d much rather just be on the receiving end of all the punches...

Kou: Ahaha...Putting your wishes aside for a second...

Don’t you want to try and hold a Christmas party?

We’ve never really done something like that with the whole family, right? Come on, why not?

Ruki: Family, huh...?

Yuma: That bein’ said, Vampires celebratin’ the birth of Christ is kinda fucked up, no?

Kou: Should we not? Do you think he’ll be upset with us?

Ruki: ...Well, while I doubt he will be thrilled about it, that man has connections to the Church of his own, so he might understand in a sense.

I doubt he will condemn us if we hold a small celebration at home.

Kou: Right~? In that case, let’s get this party rolling~!

Ruki: Yuma, Azusa. What do you two think?

Yuma: ...Ahー...

Azusa: ...

Yuma: Oi, Kou. The Sow’s havin’ a rough time, right?

Kou: Yeah, she is.

Azusa: I...personally don’t care much about the party itself but...I don’t want...Eve to be sad...

Yuma: Nnー Well, it’s not really for her sake, but I don’t see any harm in doin’ this sorta stuff for once?

Ruki: ...

Kou: Fufu~ In that case, we just need permission from Ruki-kun...~!

Ruki: Haah...You’ll all be helping out, including during the clean-up, understood?

Yuma: Oh! Which means...

Ruki: Exactly...I suppose it will make for a nice change of pace.

We haven’t really spent much time together as a family up until now after all.

Furthermore, pleasing Livestock is part of our duty as her masters.

Kou: Hooray~~!!

In that case, we need to get started with all of the preparations!

Azusa: ...

Ruki: Oi, Azusa. Where are you going?

Azusa: I figured I’d go...tell Eve that we’ve decided to hold a party...

Kou: Eh!? You’re going to tell her?

Yuma: Aah? Should we not?

Kou: Hmー Don’t you think this is a perfect chance to make it a surprise?

Yuma: Surprise...? The fuck’s that?

Ruki: It means to catch them by surprise. In other words, you keep it a secret until the very second they arrive at the party...

Kou: I’m sure she’ll be ten times happier than if she already knew about the party beforehand!

I’m an idol, remember?

So I’ve had people throw a surprise birthday party for me before. 

I felt so happy back then!

Yuma: Hm. Is that how it works? Well, fine by me.

Ruki: Azusa, you’ve heard us. You don’t need to go inform her.

Azusa: Mmh. Understood...

Kou: Hmー Holding a Christmas party is fine and all but...

Yuma: The problem’s how to prepare for it. We need to decorate the place, but I have no fuckin’ clue which decorations to pick.

Azusa: I wonder what kind of...dishes we should serve...?

Kou: Let’s leave that part to Ruki-kun.

Ruki: Right. Just leave the cooking up to me. Which leaves...

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s bedroom

Yui: ( Hm...It’s a little chilly in here... )

( I’m pretty sure quite some time has passed since the others left as well. I wonder what they’re up to...? )

( Right. I suppose I’ll check up on them while I go grab myself a hot beverage. )

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Yui: ...

Kou: Let’s leave that part to Ruki-kun.

Ruki: Right. Just leave the cooking up to me. Which leaves...

Yui: ( Ah...Kou-kun and Ruki-kun’s voices... )

( I wonder what they’re talking about...? )

Excuse meーー

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Ruki: ...Oh...

Kou: Eh? M-neko-chan!?

Yuma: ...Ya sure have the worst timin’, huh...?

Yui: Eh!? I’m sorry. Should I not have come in...?

Azusa: No, it’s fine...We were just talking about throwing you a surprise Christmas party

Yui: Eh...?

Kou: Waiーー!! Azusa-kun! What are you saying!?

Azusa: I mean...It’s not like we can still cover it up at this point. If we try and hide it...We’ll only end up making her uncomfortable. ...Right?

Ruki: Yes, Azusa, you are absolutely right. We could have always sent her back to her room, but I’m sure she would have been worried about us secretly scheming something behind her back.

If we upset her, we’re basically rendering our intentions null.

Yuma: Haah, I mean, that’s true but...We could have at least tried to keep it a secret...

Kou: Haah...Guess there’s no point now...

ーー And with that being said, we shall now commence with the preparations of the Mukami family’s very own Christmas party~!

Yui: Eh...!? We’re holding a Christmas party together!?

Yuma: That’s what we said earlier, remember? Are yer ears still workin’?

Yui: No, they are but...I’m just shocked...

I’m just wondering if it’s okay for you all to celebrate Christmas even though you’re Vampires?

Ruki: You don’t need to worry about that.

Kou: Exactly! Don’t fret over the small details~!

Are you not happy? You get to celebrate with us!

Yui: Of course I am...! I’m just surprised, that’s all.

Kou: I don’t think there’s any time to be surprised though? We have to hurry up and  prepare or Christmas will be here before we know it!

Yui: Ah, right!

Kou: Okayー! Let’s get started with these preparations right away!

Azusa: Eve...We’ve never held a proper party before...Can you tell us what we should do...?

Kou: First off, it’d be a great help if you could give us some pointers on how to decorate the house.

Yui: Well, we have to make actual decorations first...

Ruki: I assume it would be much quicker to just head to the store rather than explaining it here first.

Yuma: Good point. I doubt I’ll understand from some explanation alone.

Azusa: ...Yeah...

Ruki: There you have it. We are heading out at once.

Yui: Sure!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the department store

Yui: ( I never thought I’d one day go shopping with all of the guys like this... )

( That alone counts as a Christmas miracle. )

Yuma: Whatcha been grinnin’ ‘bout this whole time?

Yui: Ah, right. I’m just so happy we’re all able to go shopping like this...

Yuma: Heh, you’re gonna find yerself lost ‘gain if ya keep yer head in the clouds like that. Wouldn’t be the first time after all.

Yui: I...I’ll be careful.

Kou: Fufufu, so you’re aware of it at least.

Yui: Y-Yeah...

( It’s not that I actually walk away by myself though... )

Ruki: The food’s next on the list, huh? Oi, is there anything in particular you’d like to eat?

Azusa: ...I’d like something doused in plenty of red chili powder...

Ruki: ...Azusa, let’s try and stick to Christmas food this time.

Azusa: ...Fine...

But what exactly is ‘Christmas food’...?

Ruki: Hm...

Yuma: ...We don’t know if our personal preferences fit the holiday spirit after all.

So shouldn’t we just leave that choice up to the Sow?

Kou: Exactly. That’s why we called her over, so the two of you should talk it over and make a quick decision.

Ruki: ...I suppose it cannot be helped. That seems like the most time-efficient solution. 

Livestock, what did your family eat for Christmas?

Yui: Let’s see...I suppose Turkey or Roast Beef are both staples on any Christmas dinner table!

Ruki: You’re only naming meat...

Yui: Of course, we eat salad as well? Mixing in vegetables cut into cute shapes and such...

Yuma: The fuck does that mean? All veggies are the same, right?

Yui: You can use cutters to shape them like hearts or stars. I guess you’ll get an idea if we go to the deli counter...?

Yuma: Ready-made dishes?

Yui: Ah, I didn’t mean we have to buy anything, but I figured we could gather some inspiration.

Yuma: Geez, I thought ya were gonna take the easy way out. It’s a party after all.

So we’re obviously gonna make everythin’ at home from scratch, right?

Yui: Yeah! Of course.

Ruki: I suppose it’ll give us an idea of what we can make. Well then, let’s go buy the ingredients first.

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: I’m glad we got our hands on some delicious-looking meat!

Ruki: Yes. I’m looking forward to preparing it.

Yui: ( I managed to buy everything I need for the cake as well, so I’ll try my best at making it! )

( I hope they’ll like it... )

Kou: Say, let’s go pick out a tree next! The biggest one they have!

Yuma: Geez, are ya a lil’ kid or somethin’?

Yui: Fufu, you’re interested in decorating it, right?

Kou: I mean, it’s all sparkly and pretty, right? Just like me, no?

Azusa: Let’s buy lots of star-shaped decorations...

Kou: Come on, Azusa-kun. Don’t ignore me.

Azusa: Eh...? Ah, yeah...Sorry...

Yui: Do you like stars, Azusa-kun?

Azusa: Yeah...They’ve got these sharp and pointy ends...So I’m sure they’d hurt a lot...

Yui: S-So that’s why...

Ruki: Azusa, you better not think of tainting those stars with your blood.

Kou: Exactly! Today’s Christmas after all, a day you are meant to enjoy with your family!

Well then~ Which one to buy?

ー Kou runs off

Ruki: Oi, Kou. Don’t run off by yourself. 

I won’t allow for any extra purchases. We’ll only buy the necessities.

Kou: Eeeeeh~? Whaaat~? You cheapskate!

Ruki: I don’t mind being a cheapskate. This is important money we’ve received from that man.

I can’t be wasteful with it.

Kou: Well, I get where you’re coming from but...

Yui: ( Everyone seems to be having fun. )

( Like this, it almost seems like we’ve become an actual family... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Phew, we bought more than I anticipated.

Yuma: That’s ‘cause Kou kept on wantin’ to buy all this shit, right?

Kou: Eeh~? You’re blaming me? Fufu, I won’t deny it. However, we didn’t buy anything we didn’t need, right?

Yuma: I mean, we didn’t, I guess...

Ruki: Let’s go over everything one more time. Is this pretty much everything we need for the tree and decorations...?

Yui: Yeah! We’re all set!

Yuma: We’ve got the vegetables I grew at home as well, so this should do.

Kou: Aah~ We’re actually celebrating Christmas. I can’t wait!

Ruki: Kou, you’re being way too excited. Mind your manners.

Kou: Oh come on, let me be! I never got to experience this as a child after all!

Yuma: Well then, we’re gonna be busy once we get home~!

Yui: Speaking of which...Where did Azusa-kun...? Ah, there he is!

( I wonder why he’s just standing there? )

Azusa: Say, Ruki...

Ruki: ...? What’s the matter?

Azusa: I want this knife...

Yui: K-Knife...?

( Why is he holding a knife...? )

Kou: Hold up, Azusa-kun, where did you get that?

Azusa: ...Why not? I want this to give me pain... 

Yui: A-Azusa-kun! What are you saying...!?

Ruki: Azusa, go return it to the store.

Azusa: Please? ...The shape of this blade is so pretty, and it looks very sharp as well...

Ruki: No means no. Azusa, you have to put it back where you found it.

Azusa: No way....But I want it so badly...I can’t give up on it...

Yui: Azusa-kun...

Azusa: ...Come on, I want it, no matter what...

Kou: Azusa-kun! You don’t need a knife on a fun day like this!

Azusa: No...This is special...

Yui: ( What to do? Azusa-kun’s not giving in at all. )

Yuma: Oi, at this rate we’ll never make it back home.

Azusa: Then...Can we buy it?

Yuma: Just listen to Ruki for today. Ya can buy that crap whenever, right?

Azusa: ...

Yuma: God, listen up...

Ruki: Azusa.

Yui: ( O-Oh no...Ruki-kun started getting angry as well. )

U-Um, Azusa-kun...

Yuma: Ya stay out of this.

Yui: B-But...

Yuma: Geez, guess it can’t be helped. I’ll go bring it back with him.

Ruki: My bad, Yuma.

Yuma: Yeah. ...Come on, Azusa, let’s go.

Azusa: ...No.

*Rustle*

Yui: Ah! Yuma-kun! If you grab him by his collar like that, you’ll hurt him....

Azusa: Ah...It hurts...I can barely breathe...Haah...Amazing...Uu...

Yui: ( A-Azusa-kun is...happy? )

Ruki: Azusa, don’t cause Yuma too much trouble, okay?

Azusa: Yeah...

Yuma: Che! Ya say that but you’re already bein’ a pain in the ass! Come on, walk by yerself already!

Azusa: Nn, but...It’s suffocating...

Yuma: That’ll fix itself if ya just use yer own damn legs, no?

Azusa: It’d rather stay like this a little longer.

Yui: ( He’ll be okay, right? Yuma-kun’s with him after all... )

ー Yuma walks away with Azusa

Ruki: Let’s go. We’ll head back first and get everything ready.

ー Ruki starts walking away

Yui: Eh? Don’t we need to wait for them?

Kou: Yuma-kun may be with him, but knowing Azusa-kun...

Yui: ...?

Kou: Azusa-kun has a hard time letting go of things once they pique his interest.

Yui: I see...

( It might take a while until they get back... )

I hope it won’t turn into a fight.

Kou: Hmー I guess that’ll depend on Azusa-kun’s behavior?

Ruki: What are you two doing? Let’s go.

Kou: Roger~!

Yui: ( Yuma-kun’s actually quite good at looking after others, so we can leave this up to him, right...? )

*TIMESKIP*

 ー The scene shifts to the living room

Kou: Phew~ These were so heavyー

Ruki: Good grief, I’m exhausted...

Yui: ( We’ve got quite a lot of bags... )

Ruki: Well then, we’ve got no time to lose. Let’s start preparing.

If we procrastinate for too long, we’ll only waste time.

I’m heading towards the kitchen to get started on the food.

Kou: Gotcha~!

Guess I’ll get started with the decorations then.

Ruki: We’re counting on you.

Kou: Roger!

Yui: Ruki-kun, I’ll help out as well!

Ruki: Yeah, that would be great.

Kou: I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ll make for us!

Yui: Mmh! I’ll try my best to make something delicious, okay?

*THUD*

Yuma: Honestly, I went through fuckin’ hell and back!

I’m never cleanin’ up Azusa’s mess again!

Yui: S-Sounds like they’re back. He seems really upset though. I wonder what happened...?

Ruki: I assume Azusa threw one of his stubborn tantrums. Oi, Livestock.

Yui: Y-Yes!

Ruki: Go pass on this message to them. Please tell them they should get started with their own tasks.

Yui: Yeah, sure. I’ll go tell them.

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Yui: Welcome back, you two.

Azusa: If I don’t get that knife, I’ll...I’ll...

Yuma: Aah, let it go already! What’s so damn nice ‘bout that knife anyway!?

Azusa: ...

Yui: ( Seems like they don’t even realize I’m here. )

( That being said, if I leave them be, they’ll run late with their preparations. )

Um, you guys! Welcome back!

Azusa: ...Wah...You startled me.

Yuma: Aah? The fuck, Sow? You’ve been standin’ there this whole time? 

Yui: Yeah...Um, Ruki-kun has already started preparing everything, so he’d like the two of you to help out as well. 

Azusa: But, the knifeーー

Yuma: Ya really don’t know when to give up, huh? We’re done talkin’ ‘bout that!

Azusa: ...You blockhead.

Yuma: Speak for yerself!!

Yui: ( O-Oh no... )

( I can’t leave things like this. I have to stop them somehow... )

U-Um!!

Azusa-kun, Kou-kun has started on the decorations, so can I rely on you to help him with that?

Azusa: ...

Yui: Both me and Yuma-kun understand very well just how badly you want that knife...

But we have to get on with the Christmas preparations now, so I’d really appreciate it if you could help out...

Azusa: ...What about you?

Yui: Eh?

Azusa: What will you do?

Yui: I’m going to make the Christmas cake.

Azusa: ...Okay. I want to try your cake, so I’ll forget about the knife...For a while, at least...

Yuma: ‘For a while’, my ass! Forget ‘bout that thing forever!

Yui: Shh, calm down, Yuma-kun.

Azusa: I’ll go help Kou then.

Yui: Yeah, good luck.

ー Azusa walks away

Yuma: Heh. You’re really startin’ to get the hang of how to handle that guy, huh?

Yui: Y-You think so...?

Yuma: Well, whatever. Anyway, Ruki’s already in the kitchen, ya said?

Yui: Yeah, I think he’s getting everything ready to start cooking.

Yuma: I’ll go get some veggies from the garden then.

Yui: Ah, Yuma-kun! Could you maybe let me have some fruit to use for the cake?

Yuma: Roger. I’ll make sure to grab a few, so ya get yer ass over to the kitchen ‘kay?

Yui: Yeah, thanks!

ー Yuma walks away as well

Yui: Well then...

( I’ll try my best to bake the best cake ever as well! )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) While the holidays are often associated with family in the West, Christmas and especially Christmas Eve are strongly linked to couples in Japan. 

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[ Part 2 ] →

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #vandead carnival #diabolik lovers translation #vcpresentfrommukami #ruki mukami #kou mukami #yuma mukami #azusa mukami

[sevlgi]

the florist pt.3

requested: yes... a lot

group: dreamcatcher

pairing: jiu x fem!reader

genre: mostly fluff

contents: hanahaki!au, florist!jiu.  read part 1 HERE and part 2 HERE.

warnings: none

synopsis: After being through hell together, confronting the person who sent you down the spiral in the first place is one of the things you and Minji fear the most. But it can’t be that bad, when she’s there to help you through it.

a/n: the long awaited part 3!!! i’m sorry for taking this long lmfao, this is still kinda shitty. there’s a lot less plot here, i just want to end this whole thing on a sweeter note.

word count: 2.1k

“Oy, Y/N! How long is that damn cake going to take?”

You rolled your eyes at the sound of Bora shouting, and resisted the urge to throw a handful of flour at wherever she was hiding. “Shut up, you come cut fondant if you’re so high and mighty.”

“...Okay, take your time.” At her response, you rolled your eyes and turned back to the cake-decorating with a smile, sticky yellow and purple coating your hands. To be honest, the cake was almost done, but you weren’t about to let Bora have her satisfaction.

She appeared and peeked over your shoulder, the flowers clustered in her arms tickling your back. “Damn,” Bora wolf-whistled and dodged the smear of icing you aimed at her. “That’s one hell of a cake. Are you sure we can eat it?” When you reached your hands at her again, slightly more aggressively, she yelped, “It’s a compliment! Stop, stop, the cake just looks too pretty to eat.”

“Nice save,” you scowled. “What do we think of the color scheme, though?”

“Yellow and purple,” Bora observed, pursing her lips. “Carnations and mallow, huh? Bold move for this celebration.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “carnations and mallow really aren’t the best memory for me. For us. But I thought it would be nice to appreciate all we’ve been through together, with a nice, handmade cake.”

The other girl patted your arm and set her flowers down on a nearby desk. “It’s a nice sentiment, truly. Minji would appreciate it.”

“Would?” another voice piped up from behind you, and you instantly smiled. “You talk about me like I’m not here in the flesh, Bora.”

“You might want to get back to bed,” Bora warned, smiling nonetheless, but Minji wrapped her arms around your waist and tucked her nose into the crook of your neck. “Even if it’s just to stop me from getting nauseated. Handong will have your head, you know.”

Minji shook her head and swayed playfully, “Oh, I know. But I wanted to see all the preparations you guys have made.”

You managed to press a kiss to your girlfriend’s forehead, pressing yet another sugary flower to the surface of the cake. “What do we think? Since you’re being commended for your efforts with the Hanahaki disease, I thought it would be nice for us to pay some homage to everything.”

“It’s very nice,” Minji nodded while she strode over to where the base of the cake sat. “And I especially appreciate that you did my favorite flavor, though I’m not really being commended for anything.”

“You kidding?” Yubin arrived, yet another person crowding in Minji’s kitchen, but you didn’t really mind the approach of the younger woman. “You’re getting a whole news article, and an honorary position at the clinic. I wouldn’t say that’s nothing, especially when you’re still weak from the disease, months later.”

“Hush,” Minji sighed. But it was true; you could see her hands whiten from pressing down onto the kitchen table and holding up her weight, and you remembered how shaky she felt when she had hugged you earlier. “I’m fine, it’s been almost 2 months.”

Yubin shook her head and moved over to pass you the tube of icing you motioned for, then muttered, “And you haven’t talked to Siyeon since then. I wouldn’t say you’re fine.”

Bora nudged the younger at that, not missing the way Minji leaned more on the table. “Yubin, let’s not. But Minji, Y/N, you know that Siyeon’s still coming, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah. It’ll be as fine as she makes it.” Minji didn’t argue, still staring at the grain of the table and you jerked your head towards the door. “Hey, let’s give me some space, yeah? It’s hard to decorate a cake with your noisy asses around.”

Once you and Minij were the only ones in the room, you carefully wrapped your arms around her so as not to touch her clothing with your hands. “Hey. You feeling okay? How did the visit with the clinic go?”

“To be honest? I’m already tired,” she sighed, then leaned her head on your shoulder. “It’s been months, and you guys are still taking care of me. I feel really, really, really bad about it, Y/N, and as much as they try, the clinic can’t help me.”

“Why?” You kissed her cheek yet again, whispering, “It’s kinda my fault that you got the disease, I should be taking care of you. And no one minds, Minji, you always take care of us. It’s rightly earned for us to be waiting on you now, and we all appreciate that you’re letting us help you at all. The clinic sucks, yeah, but you’re going to make it the best.”

Minji pouted and looked up at you. “Are you sure? Because I feel like a burden, and it sucks.”

“You are not a burden,” you insisted, “and you never will be. Now go and sit down, and play some music before our friends arrive. Make yourself useful.”

She smiled at that and slumped into the nearest chair, responding softly, “Got it. Music coming right up, love.”

Siyeon frowned at the streets rolling past outside her window, Gahyeon paying no mind as she hummed something in the driver’s seat. “Are you sure they want me there?”

“For the last time, it’s fine,” Gahyeon sighed. “Yoohyeon unnie said that it would be a good chance for you to make up with Y/N and Minji unnie, remember? I agree, you need to clear things up, or it’s going to be so awkward for the rest of us.”

The blonde reached into the bag at her feet yet again, despite the fact that the desserts inside couldn’t have disappeared. It was just anxiety chewing up her stomach; after all, nearly all her friends hadn’t been able to look at her the same since you and Minji nearly died because of her. Siyeon didn’t know if they could forgive her, even if you did. “I don’t know, Gahyeon-ah. It’s all my fault.”

The younger girl glanced at her and shook her head. “Look, I’m not going to say that you’re blameless or anything. You screwed up with Y/N, and yeah, it sucked--” Siyeon winced -- “but this is your chance to apologize and do what you can.”

Before Siyeon could argue any more, Gahyeon had parked by the curb and yanked her door open. The Love Blossom looked... somewhat similar, though it was far busier than Siyeon had ever remembered it to be; there were news articles taped to the walls and people filing through the open door. Balloons and wreaths decorated the windows, and Siyeon was relieved to see Yoohyeon bounding over to greet them. “Hey, unnie. Glad Gahyeon dragged you over.”

Resisting the urge to pout at the taller girl, Siyeon allowed herself to be pulled towards the shop, desserts in hand. Yoohyeon had her arm on her shoulder and was talking already with a smile. “I’m sure Y/N will be happy to see you, though we’ll have to look for her a bit. I think she’s with Minji, though she rarely isn’t.”

“How... how is Minji?” Siyeon managed to ask. “I saw some of the articles.”

Yoohyeon hesitated to answer, “She... well, she isn’t great. Y/N recovered a lot quicker and easier than she did, so Y/N wasn’t left as weak as Minji, but the both of them are definitely worse off.” At the blonde’s guilty expression, Yoohyeon waved her hands and exclaimed, “Not that it’s any of your fault! No one guilts you, and-- oh, Dongie unnie!”

Handong turned from where she was ringing a customer up, and assumed a polite smile. “Hey, Yoohyeon. Siyeon. Welcome to the party, I guess. I’m assuming you’re looking for the happy couple?”

“That’s right,” Yoohyeon smiled, squeezing the mute Siyeon’s shoulders. “Kitchen, right?”

“Yeah,” Handong answered, eyes straying down to the desserts in Siyeon’s hands. “We’ve got a lot of food already, just ask Y/N where you can set stuff down.”

Siyeon didn’t miss the way that Handong barely squeezed a smile out, or the way that Yubin brushed by without a “hello”. She wished Bora was there, even if it was only because she had been one of the less hostile ones, but the door to Minji’s apartment was already open, and she was faced with Minji pelting you with marshmallows from a stool. “Hello?”

While your smile grew slightly at the sight of Siyeon, Minji’s faded. “Hey,” you smiled, reaching forward for the bag. “What’s all of this?”

“Just some stuff I remember you guys liking,” Siyeon choked out, letting control of it go to you. “I... I’m sorry.”

Minji’s eyes widened as Siyeon sank to the ground, though you stopped her from standing. “Siyeon, what?” you tried to laugh it off, though she wouldn’t stand even with your hands on her shoulders. “Come on, there’s no need...”

“You almost died,” Siyeon bit out, “because I was too selfish to try to help you. And then Minji almost died to help you, and I-- I’m sorry, Y/N, and I’m sorry, Minji. You can’t even walk, and it’s all because of me.”

“What are you talking about?” Minji’s tone was softer than she expected, and though she toppled slightly when she got to her feet, she made her way over to you fast enough. “Siyeon, I can walk. My disease is not your fault, and it isn’t anyone’s. Y/N’s circumstance... well, I can’t speak for her, but you didn’t make me this way, okay?”

Siyeon sighed, head still bowed as she was forced to stand up by the two of you. “Then, Y/N, I’m so sorry. You were my friend, and I just abandoned you because I was scared.”

“You’re okay,” you reassured her softly. “I can’t deny that I did blame you at first, but I’m willing to forgive you. I understand how scary it was, that I was dying and you were the only one who could have helped me, or at least that we knew of. I... I don’t hate you for it, I couldn’t.”

In that moment, there was nothing Siyeon could say that would’ve summed up the way she felt well enough. Looking into your eyes, so genuine and caring, more than she deserved from either of you, there was an all-too-heavy weight lifted off her shoulders. It wasn’t like she truly thought she deserved to be forgiven so easily, but Siyeon couldn’t help but accept, and she managed to say, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Minji smiled, “as long as you really mean it.”

“I do,” Siyeon nodded again. “I’ve never meant anything more.”

You knew Minji had something to say when she still lingered around in the kitchen with you at night, dressed in a floaty shirt with her makeup wiped off, but still watching you cut the remaining cake up. “What?” you asked, raising your eyebrows at her. “You’ve been staring at me for the past hour.”

“How was it so easy for you to forgive Siyeon?” she questioned instantly. “I mean, she was my friend too, but I... it’s so hard to think of how you just let that go in an instant. How, Y/N?”

Pausing to think, you set your knife down. Minji stared at you with large, shimmery eyes from the kitchen counter, and you resisted the urge to coo. “Well, I think that I wouldn’t have really done anything different if I was in her position.”

“But you did,” your girlfriend pointed out, “you saved me. Barely in time, but you did.”

“Well, that’s different.” You frowned, passed her a slice of cake since she didn’t seem to be ready to sleep yet, and mused, “I did love you, and I always will. Siyeon never loved me, so even if she tried, she wouldn’t have been able to save me. You know? Yeah, she could’ve not abandoned me, but in the end, it was only human of her to be scared of being the only person who could save someone else.”

Minji sighed at that, “I mean, if we look at it that way, you are right. I just... she hurt you. And maybe I can’t forgive that yet, Y/N.”

“And that’s fine,” you shrugged, moving around the counter to hug her from behind. “I get that too, but Siyeon’s trying. I think we should too.”

Instead of answering, Minji turned and captured your lips with her own, your hands tightening on her waist slightly in rhythm. “I love you more every day, Y/N,” she breathed out when you parted just enough to breathe. “Maybe almost dying for you was worth it.”

“Never say that again,” you shook your head, but you smiled nonetheless. “But I love you too, Minji, and I’ll never stop.”

#dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher x reader #dreamcatcher scenarios #dreamcatcher jiu #dreamcatcher minji #kim minji #jiu #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher reactions #jiu x reader #jiu imagines #jiu scenarios #minji x reader #minji scenarios #minji imagines

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

#* #my policeman #godd this book...i cant wait for the movie #mp

[snelbz]

What Happens In Vegas... {4}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Feyre x Rhysand, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Summary: For Feyre’s twenty-first birthday, her best friend took her to Las Vegas for a weekend of fun she could never forget. She’s going home with a lot more than memories.

@snelbz​ / @tacmc​ collab

What Happens In Vegas Masterlist

Fanfiction Masterlist

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My neck had seized up. Pain shot through me as I slowly straightened and blinked the sleep from my eyes. I rubbed at the offending muscles, trying to get them to unlock. “Ow.”

Rhysand took one hand off the steering wheel and reached out, rubbing the back of my neck with strong fingers. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I must have slept funny.” I shuffled up in the seat, taking in our surroundings, trying not to enjoy the neck rub too much. Because of course he was crazy good with his hands. Mr. Magic Fingers coerced my muscles back into some semblance of order with seemingly little effort. I couldn’t be expected to resist. Impossible. So instead I moaned loudly and let him have his way with me

Being barely awake was my only excuse.

The sun was just rising. Tall, shadowy trees rushed by outside. Trying to get out of LA, we’d gotten caught in a traffic jam the likes of which this small town girl had never seen.

For all my good intentions, we hadn’t really talked. We’d stopped and gotten food and gas. The rest of the time, Johnny Cash had played on the stereo and I’d practiced speeches in my head. None of the words made it out of my mouth.

For some reason, I was reluctant to call a halt to our adventure and go off on my own. It had nothing to do with pulling up my big-girl panties and everything to do with how comfortable I’d begun to feel with him. The silence wasn’t awkward. It was peaceful. Refreshing, even, given the last day’s worth of drama. Being with him on the open road … there was something freeing about it. At around two in the morning, I’d fallen asleep.

“Rhys, where are we?” He gave me a sidelong look, his hand still massaging my muscles. A sign flew past outside. “We’re going to Velaris?”

“That’s where my place is,” he said. “Stop tensing up.”

“Velaris?”

“Yeah. What’ve you got against Velaris?”

“Nothing.” I backpedaled fast, not wanting to appear ungrateful. “It’s just a surprise. I didn’t realize we were leaving town. Velaris. Okay.”

Rhys sighed and pulled off the road. Dust flew and stones pinged off the truck. Cass wouldn’t be pleased. He turned to face me, resting an elbow on the top of the passenger seat, boxing me in.

“Talk to me, friend,” he said.

I opened my mouth and let it all tumble out. “I have a plan. I have some money put away. I was going to go someplace quiet for a couple of weeks until this blew over. You didn’t have to put yourself out like this. I just need to get my stuff from back at the mansion and I can be out of your hair.”

“All right.” He nodded. “Well, we’re here now and I’d like to go check out my place for a couple of days. So why don’t you come with me? Just as friends. No big deal. It’s Friday now, the lawyers said they’d have the new papers sent to us Monday. We’ll sign them. I’ve got a show early next week back in LA. If you want, you can lie low at the house for a few weeks till things calm down. Sound like a plan? We spend the weekend together, then go our separate ways. All sorted.”

It did sound like a solid idea. But still, I deliberated for a second. Apparently, it was a second too long.

“You worried about spending the weekend with me or something? Am I that scary?” His gaze held mine, our faces a bare hand’s breadth apart. Dark hair fell around his perfect face. For a moment I almost forgot to breathe. I didn’t move. I couldn’t. Outside a motorcycle roared past then all fell quiet again.

Was he scary? The man had no idea.

“No,” I lied, throwing in some scoff for good measure.

I don’t think he believed me. “Listen, I’m sorry about acting like an asshole back in LA.”

“It’s okay, really, Rhys. This situation would do anyone’s head in.”

“Tell me something,” he said in a low voice. “You remembered getting the tattoo. Has anything else come back to you?”

Reliving my drunken rampage wasn’t somewhere I wanted to go. Not with him. Not with anyone. I was paying the consequences by having my life upended and splashed about on the Internet. “Does this even matter? I mean, isn’t it a bit late to be having this conversation?”

“Guess so.” He shifted back in his seat and put a hand on the wheel. “You need to stretch your legs or anything?”

“A restroom would be great.”

He nodded. “No worries.”

We pulled back out onto the road, and silence ensued for several minutes. He’d turned off the stereo sometime while I slept. The quiet was awkward now and it was all my doing. Guilt sucked first thing in the morning. It probably didn’t improve later in the day, but first up, without even a drop of caffeine to fortify me, it was horrible. He’d been nice to me, trying to talk, and I’d shut him down.

“Most of that night is still a blur,” I said, trying to gently reopen the conversation.

He hummed quietly. Such was the sum total of his response.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself to go further. “I remember doing shots at midnight. After that, it’s hazy. I remember the sound of the needle at the tattoo parlor, us laughing, but that’s about it. I’ve never blacked out in my life. It’s scary.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

It was a little late to ask this, but I needed to know. “How did we meet?”

He exhaled hard. “Me and a group of people were leaving to go to another club. One of the girls wasn’t looking where she was going, bumped into a cocktail waitress. Apparently the waitress was new or something and she dropped her tray. Luckily, it was only a couple of empty beer bottles.”

“How did I get involved?”

He darted me a glance, taking his eyes off the road for a moment. “Some of them started giving the poor waitress shit, telling her they were going to get her fired. You just swooped in and handed them their asses.”

My eyes went wide. “I did?”

“Oh, yeah.” He licked his lips, the corner of his mouth curling. “Told them they were evil, pretentious, overpriced assholes who should watch where they were walking. You helped the girl pick up the beer bottles and then you insulted my friends some more. It was pretty fucking classic, actually. I can’t remember everything you said. You got pretty creative with the insults by the end.”

I was stunned. “Huh. And you liked me for that?”

He shut his mouth and said nothing. A whole wide world of nothing. Nothing could actually cover a lot of ground when you put that much effort into it.

“What happened next?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Security came over to throw you out. Not like they were gonna argue with the rich kids.”

“No. I guess not.”

Glancing over at me, he added, “You looked panicky, so I got you out of there.”

“You left your friends for me?” I watched him in amazement.

He did a one-shoulder shrug. As if it meant nothing.

“What then?” I asked.

“We took off and had a drink in another bar.”

“I’m surprised you stuck with me.” Stunned was closer.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked. “You treated me like a normal person. We just talked about everyday stuff. You weren’t angling to get anything out of me. You didn’t act like I was a different fucking species. When you looked at me it felt…”

“What?”

He cleared his throat. “I dunno. Doesn’t matter.”

He was lying. “Yes, you do. And it does.”

He groaned.

I pushed. “Please?”

“Fuck’s sake,” he muttered, shifting around in the driver’s seat all uncomfortable-like. “It felt real, okay? It felt right. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

I sat in stunned silence for a moment. “That’s a good way to explain it.”

Suddenly, he got decidedly smirky. “Plus, I’d never been propositioned quite like that.”

���Yeah. Okay, stop now.” I covered my face with my hands, and he laughed.

“Relax,” he said. “You were very sweet.”

“Sweet?”

“Sweet is not a bad thing,” he replied.

He pulled the truck into a gas station, stopping in front of a pump. “Look at me.”

I lowered my fingers. Rhys stared back at me, beautiful face grinning. “You said that you thought I was a really nice guy. And that it would be great if we could go up to your room and have sex and just hang out for a while, if maybe that was something I’d be interested in doing.”

“I have all the moves,” I groaned. There might have been more embarrassing conversations in my life. Doubtful, though. Oh, good God, the thought of me trying out my smooth seduction routine on Rhys. He who had groupies and glamour models throwing themselves at him on a daily basis. If there’d been enough room under the car seat, I’d have hid down there. “What did you say?”

“What do you think I said?” Without taking his gaze off me, he popped the glove box and pulled out a baseball cap.

“This is so mortifying,” I sighed, letting my head fall back against the headset. “Why couldn’t you have forgotten too?”

He just looked at me. The smirk was long gone. For a long moment he held my gaze captive, unsmiling. The air in the car seemed to drop by about fifty degrees.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, fingers fumbling with the seat belt.

His voice was hard again. “Sure.”

I finally managed to unbuckle the stupid thing, heart galloping inside my chest. The conversation had gotten crazy heavy toward the end. It had caught me off guard. Knowing he’d stood up for me in Las Vegas, that he’d chosen me over his friends… It changed things. And it made me wonder what else I needed to know about that night.

“Wait.” He rifled among the collection of sunglasses, pulled out a pair of designer aviator shades, and handed them to me. “You’re famous now too, remember?”

“My butt is.”

He almost smiled. Almost.

He fit the baseball cap to his head and rested an arm on the steering wheel. The tattoo of my name was right there, in all its glory. It was pink around the edges and some of the letters had small scabs on them. I wasn’t the only one permanently marked by that night.

With a sigh, I hurried inside of the gas station, into the restroom. I locked myself inside of the stall and took a deep breath. 

A weekend with Rhysand. It wouldn’t be too bad...at least, that’s what I kept telling myself, and every time I did, I debated myself against it. I was nervous and, yes, a little bit scared. Ultimately, I will still uncomfortable with the fact that I was married to a stranger. I was learning more about him every day, but I still didn’t know him, and I’m not sure I would get the chance to when all was said and done. 

I mean, did it even matter?

After I saw to the necessities, I was washing my hands, scrubbing at them just to give myself a few minutes more of silence. When I opened the door to the restroom again, though, I was only halfway down the drinks aisle before I had been spotted. A pair of girls, maybe a few years younger than myself, were standing there, their eyes wide.

The sunglasses Rhys had given me were pushed on the top of my head.

Good going, Feyre.

I gave them each an awkward smile and tried to step past them. I was almost to the door, to freedom, when one of them muttered to her, “Do you think that’s her?”

I didn’t turn to let them know I’d heard them, just kept hurrying for the exit.

“I don’t think so. The girl in the pictures was much prettier.”

Ouch.

When I got back, Rhysand was standing by the truck, signing an autograph for a couple of guys, one of whom was busy doing an overly-enthusiastic air guitar performance. Rhys laughed and clapped him on the back and they talked for a couple of minutes more. He was kind, gracious. He stood smiling, chatting with them, until he noticed me hovering nearby. “Thanks, guys. If you could keep this quiet for a couple of days I’d appreciate it, yeah? We could do with a break from the insanity.”

“No worries.” One of the guys turned and grinned at me. “Congratulations. You’re way prettier in person than in your pictures.”

“Thanks.” I awkwardly smiled, not quite knowing what else to do. I preferred these guys to the girls who’d seen me in the gas station.

Rhys winked at me and opened the passenger door for me to hop in. The other man pulled out a cell phone and started snapping pictures. Rhys ignored him and hurried around to the other side of the vehicle. He didn’t speak till we were back out on the road.

“It’s not far now,” he said. “We still going to Velaris?”

I nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Cool.”

Hearing Rhys talk about our first meeting had put a new spin on things. That conversation had piqued my curiosity. That he’d chosen me to some degree that night… I don’t think the possibility had occurred to me before. I’d figured we’d both let tequila do the thinking and somehow fallen into this mess together.

I was wrong. There was more to the story. Much more. Rhysand’s reluctance to answer certain questions made me wonder.

I wanted answers. But I needed to tread carefully.

“Is it always like that for you?” I asked. “Being recognized? Having people approach you all the time?” I was hesitant to tell him about the girls I saw in the gas station. I didn’t know how he’d feel about that, or if he’d reprimand me for not utilizing the sunglasses like he’d told me.

“They were fine. The crazies are a worry, but you handle it. It’s part of my job. People like the music, so…”

A bad feeling crept through me. “You did tell me who you were that night, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, of course I did.” He gave me a snarky look, his brows bunched up.

My bad feeling crept away, only to be replaced by shame. “Sorry.”

“Feyre, I wanted you to know what the fuck you were getting into. You said you really liked me, but you weren’t that keen on my band.” He fiddled with the stereo, another half smile on his face. Soon some rock song I didn’t know played quietly over the speakers. “You felt pretty bad about it, actually. You kept apologizing over and over. Insisted on buying me a pizza to make up for it.”

“I just prefer country or pop. Or, really, anything that’s not hard rock.”

“Believe me, I know. And stop apologizing. You’re allowed to like whatever the hell you want.”

I nodded and we fell into an awkward silence. Finally, I asked, “Was it a good pizza?”

He gave me a one-shoulder shrug. “It was fine.”

I looked over at him, but his eyes were firmly on the road in front of us. “I wish I remembered.”

He snorted. “There’s a first.”

I don’t know what exactly came over me. Maybe I just wanted to see if I could make him smile. With a knee beneath me I pulled out a length of seat belt, raised myself up, and kissed him quick on the cheek. A surprise attack. His skin was warm and smooth against my lips. The man smelled so much better than he had a right to.

“What was that for?” he asked, shooting me a look out of the corner of his eye.

“For getting me out of my parent’s house and then out of LA. For talking to me about that night.” I shrugged, trying to play it off. “For lots of things.”

A little line appeared above the bridge of his nose. When he spoke, his voice was gruff. “Right. Yeah. No problem.”

His mouth stayed shut and his hand went to his cheek, touching where my lips had been. The looks out of the corner of his eye continued for quite some time. Each one made me wonder a bit more if Rhysand Lunasa was just as scared of me as I was of him. This reaction was even better than a smile.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Velaris was beautiful, that much was certain, and if I thought the mansion in LA was over the top, Rhysand’s house was just as magnificent, but in a more logical sense. It wasn’t as big, but it was very modern, very sleek. 

Rhysand climbed out of the cab and walked up to the house, fiddling with a set of keys from his pocket. He opened the front door, then stopped to punch numbers into a security system.

“You coming?” he yelled.

I lingered beside the car, looking up at the magnificent house. Him and me alone. Inside there. Hmm. Waves crashed on the rocks nearby. I swore I could hear the swell of an orchestral accompaniment not too far off in the distance. The place was decidedly atmospheric. And that atmosphere was pure romance.

“What’s the problem?” Rhys came back down the stone path toward me.

“Nothing … I was just-.”

“Good.” He didn’t stop. I didn’t know what was going on until I found myself hanging upside down over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold.

“Shit. Rhys!”

“Relax,” he crooned. I couldn’t see his face, but I could hear the smirk on his lips.

“You’re going to drop me!” I cried.

“I’m not going to drop you. Stop squirming,” he said, his arm pressing against the back of my legs. “Show some trust.”

“What are you doing?” I battered my hands against the ass of his jeans.

“It’s traditional to carry the bride across the threshold.”

“Not like this,” I laughed.

He patted my butt cheek, the one with his name on it. “Why would we wanna start being conventional now, huh?”

“I thought we were just being friends.”

“This is friendly. You should probably stop grabbing my ass, though, or I’m gonna get the wrong idea about us. Especially after that kiss in the car.”

“I’m not feeling your ass,” I grumbled, and stopped using his butt cheeks for a handhold. Like it was my fault the position left me no alternative but to hold on to his firm butt.

He snorted. “Please, you’re all over me. It’s disgusting.”

I laughed despite myself. “You put me over your shoulder, you idiot. Of course I’m all over you.”

Up the steps we went, then onto the wide wooden patio and into the house. Hardwood floors in a rich brown and moving boxes, lots and lots of moving boxes. I couldn’t see much else.

“This could be a problem,” he said.

“What could be?” I asked, still upside down, my hair obscuring my view.

“Hang on.” Carefully, he righted me, setting my feet on the floor. All the blood rushed from my head and I staggered. He grabbed my elbows, holding me upright.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. What’s the problem?”

I followed his gaze, looking around at the sparse furnishings. “I thought you said you lived here,” I said, as I stepped inside of the foyer and looked around.

Rhysand shut the front door behind me. As I was looking out of the floor-length front windows at the beach beyond, he said, “I haven’t been here in a while. Not much time to come home, you know?”

I nodded, as if I agreed, but I really had no idea. I had no idea what it was like to constantly be on the road, in different cities, in different countries. 

To be away from home for months, for years, and having to cope with homesickness.

“I thought there’d be more furniture,” he said. 

I turned to look at him. “You’ve never been here before?”

“I’ve been busy.”

Apart from boxes there were more boxes. They were everywhere. We stood in a large central room with a huge stone fireplace set in the far wall. You could roast a whole cow in the thing if you were so inclined. Stairs led to a second floor above and another level below this one. A dining room and open-plan kitchen came next. The place was a combination of floor-to-ceiling glass, neat lines of logs, and gray stonework. The perfect mix of old and new design techniques. It was stunning. But then all the places he lived in seemed to be.

I wondered what he’d make of my and Joey’s tiny bedraggled apartment. A silly thought. As if he’d ever see it.

“At least they got a fridge.” He pulled one of the large stainless steel doors open. Every inch of space inside had been packed with food and beverages. “Excellent.”

“Who are ‘they’?” I asked, following behind him.

“The people that look after the place for me. Friends of mine. I called them, asked them to sort some stuff out for us.” He pulled out a beer and popped the lid. “Cheers.”

I smiled, amused. “For breakfast?”

“I’ve been awake for two days. I want a beer, then I want a bed. Man, I hope they thought to get a bed.” Beer in hand, he ambled back through the kitchen and entryway and up the stairs. I followed, curious.

He pushed open one bedroom door after another. There were four in total and each had its own bathroom because cool, rich people clearly couldn’t share. At the final door at the end of the hall he stopped and sagged with relief. “Thank fuck for that.”

A kingdom of a bed made up with clean, white sheets waited within. And a couple more boxes.

“What’s with all the boxes?” I asked. “Did they only get one bed?”

“Sometimes I buy stuff on my travels. Sometimes people give me stuff. I’ve just been sending it all here for the last few years. Take a look if you want. And yes, there’s only one bed.” He took another swig of beer. “You think I’m made of money?”

I huffed out a laugh. “Says the guy who got Cartier to open so I could pick out a ring.”

“You remember that?” He smiled around the bottle.

“No, I just assumed given what time of night it must have been.” I wandered over to the wall of windows. Such an amazing view.

“You tried to pick some shitty little thing. I couldn’t believe it.” He stared at me, but his gaze was distant.

I winced. “I threw the ring at the lawyers.”

He flinched and studied his shoes. “Yeah, I know.”

“I’m sorry. They just made me so mad.”

“Lawyers do that.” He took another swig of the beer. “Cass said you took a swing at him.”

“I missed.”

“Probably for the best. He’s an idiot but he means well.”

“Yeah, he was really nice to me.” Crossing my arms, I checked out the rest of his big bedroom, wandering into the bathroom. The Jacuzzi would have made Cassian’s curl up in shame. The place was sumptuous. Yet again the feeling of not belonging, of not fitting in with the décor, hit me hard.

“That’s some heavy frown, friend,” he said.

I attempted a smile. “I’m just still trying to figure things out. I mean, is that why you took the plunge in Vegas? Because you’re unhappy? And apart from Cassian, you’re surrounded by jerks?”

“Fuck.” His let his head fall back. “Do we have to keep talking about that night?”

I was getting just as frustrated as he was. “I’m just trying to understand.”

“No,” he said. “It wasn’t that, okay?”

“Then what?” I pressed.

“We were in Vegas, Feyre. Shit happens.”

I shut my mouth. Ouch.

“I don’t mean…” He wiped a hand across his face. “Fuck. Look, don’t think it was just all drinking and partying and that’s the only reason anything happened. Why we happened. I wouldn’t want you to think that.”

I threw my arms out. It seemed the only proper response. “But that’s what I do think. That’s exactly what I think. That’s the only way this fits together in my head. When a girl like me wakes up married to a guy like you, what else can she possibly think? God, Rhys, look at you. You’re beautiful, rich, and successful. Tamlin was right, this makes no sense.”

He turned on me, face tight. “Don’t do that. Don’t talk yourself down like that.”

I just sighed, shaking my head.

He went on. “I’m serious. Don’t you ever give what that asshole said another thought, understood?”

“Then give me something. Tell me what it was like between us that night.”

He opened his mouth, then snapped it closed. “Nah. I don’t want to dredge it all up, you know? Water under the bridge or whatever. I just don’t want you thinking that the whole night was some alcohol-fueled frenzy or something, that’s all. Honestly, you didn’t even seem that drunk most of it.”

“Rhys, you’re hedging. Come on. It’s not fair that you remember and I don’t.”

“No,” he said, his voice hard, cold, in a way I hadn’t heard it. He loomed over me, jaw set. “It’s not fair that I remember and you don’t, Feyre.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“I’m going out.” True to his word, he stormed out the door. Heavy footsteps thumped along the hallway and back down the stairs. I stood staring after him.

#snelbz whiv #what happens in vegas #vegas au #feysand #snelbz tacmc collab #snacmc

[clocks-are-round]

it's donut november so.. donut for the character ask thing :>

This is all off the top of my head, so some opinions may vary upon rewatch.

aaaah sorry i got sidetracked for a couple hours XD

EDIT: Reading Z’s reminded me of things I was going to mention but forgot apparently rip haha

Why I like them: It’s fucking DONUT. What’s not to like? He’s a delight. While not my favorite of the characters, he’s gone through a surprising number of changes throughout the series. Even if most of it was due to the decision to lean more into gay jokes.

Why I don’t: Ok, yeah, NOT a fan of the homophobic shit in the early seasons. It was so obvious they were going for a stereotype… but he ended up growing on me anyways. Also, the in your face innuendos were very uncomfortable but I guess I got used to those too. I don’t like the default falsetto they were doing for seasons 16 & 17. It was so uncomfortably… “a voice” y’know? It wasn’t remotely natural sounding.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Wash and Donut repeating the moment when Wash shot Donut. Or the Donut and O’Malley fight. Both. They’re tied. Wait no— his little anti-drug tirade at Simmons?

DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE ( >•~•)>💕

Favorite season/movie: How can I not say season 17? It was so good to him.

Favorite line: that one super uncomfortable one in season 16 that basically summed up what his role had mostly been up until that point one sec lemme find—

“No, guys! I’m super duper sorry! This whole sticky mess--it’s on me! All over me! I’ve screwed each and every one of you deep, with no protection! And now, I’ve come to help pull out, before we’re all truly boned! From now on, nothing comes before my friends. They come first, and they come second. They come third, they come fourth--“

I hate (read: love) it so fucking much it’s great. Like holy shit, it’s just one after another!

WAIT— I take it back.

“I heard you needed to beat a guy off, so I came right away!” When he came to rescue Grif -w- Like me, I’m sure he had never been happier to hear an innuendo.

Favorite outfit: Hmm… maybe seasons 1 and 2? I dunno, I kinda liked the dull pink a bit more than the brighter ones. As for out of armor fanart, as long as it’s stylin’ and/or pink.

OTP: As many of you know, I am a fan of Washnut, Locnut, and Locnuttington. I’m chill with it never being canon, but I like the dynamics.

Brotp: Simmons and Donut have great sibling vibes. Wash and Donut have great untapped vibe potential. More of those please?

Head Canon: Aside from the obvious fan theories like burn scar, hearing aid, and his mom remarrying to a woman after his dad sent him to gay conversion therapy… Donut played baseball in high school. Why else would he be such a great pitcher? He spent a lot of time tossing to get that good. Gosh, he must’ve touched so many balls over the years. I’ll stop 🙃

Unpopular opinion: He’s as much of an asshole as everybody else. I have definitely written him too soft in the past (as i have many of the characters). He’s an obnoxious little shit and just five minutes with the guy is enough to know that.

A wish: Let the man say he’s gay. Or flirt with a guy without the guy recoiling in disgust and instead flirting back and Donut is taken off guard. Maybe it’ll be something more. That’d be cute. Please. More importantly, side effects from the Chrovos stuff? Or maybe not because “none of that ever happened” but goddamn would it be cool to include.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Don’t make him straight. And if you do, Rooster Teeth, only if EVERY OTHER character is stated to be queer. That is the only way I will find that “twist” funny.

5 words to best describe them: Flamboyant, Fabulous, Obnoxious, Gullible, GayAF (new compound word it counts)

My nickname for them: My tag for him is //*the clinking of champagne glasses* but it may change.

#red vs blue #ask meme #//*the clinking of champagne glasses*

[clevercorvidae]

BNHA Common Misconceptions

I’ve been seeing wayyy too much bs on my dash lately. So I thought I’d share some of my thoughts on some Controversy™

***Spoilers For The Manga***

1. “What the HPSC did to Hawks wasn’t bad”

A government organization putting a young child through rigorous training so that he can be used as a tool is bad. I don’t know why I have to spell that out

Hawks had to abandon his real name at a very young age. That’s damaging for a kid’s sense of identity. His identity as a person no longer has any separation from his work as a hero. Being a hero is all he is now. I wouldn’t be surprised if (provided Hawks’s wings are gone for good) he has an identity crisis after this arc because he can’t be “Hawks” anymore.

Hawks is based on Lionel Messi, a soccer player recruited at a young age in return for paying for his medical procedures. I’ve seen people say that Hawks chose to be a hero. One, he was a child, young children shouldn’t be making decisions like that. Two, we know based on context clues that Keigo was more than likely living in poverty, possibly with alcoholic parents, and we literally are told that the HPSC payed for his family’s living expenses. Do you really think Keigo had much of a choice here?

I’ve seen people say “it’s just like what UA is doing”. First of all, UA is called out for being irresponsible and endangering their students IN UNIVERSE. Second, Keigo was a young child, the UA kids are 15+. There’s a huge difference.

2. “Mitsuki isn’t abusive”

Honestly when it comes to her smacking Katsuki, I could excuse it as a joke done in poor taste and not hold it over her as a character.

Hitting him WASNT just discipline tho. You should never, ever, under any circumstances hit your kid. Fuck that noise.

What I really have an issue with is what she SAYS to Katsuki. Her guilt tripping him isn’t a throwaway line either. He repeats the sentiment that he is responsible for Kamino during Deku v Kacchan 2. It’s one of the main reasons he fights Deku.

Horikoshi says that Katsuki has a good relationship with his mother. In that case, he did a horrible job at presenting that. What is written in the canon is what should be used as the basis for how we interpret her character.

3. “Shigaraki chose to kill his family/was born evil”

No...just...no. He was FIVE for crying out loud.

He wanted to be a hero, and took extra care to play with kids that had no friends. He definitely wasn’t born evil lmao.

His quirk manifested while he was having an emotional crisis. Decay is controlled by emotion so of course it went haywire.

He didn’t even know it was him doing it at first.

“But Shigaraki said he WANTED it to happen” Shigaraki is an unreliable narrator. What we actually SEE tells a very different story. He reaches out to Hana and his Mother for help. His grandparents are just caught in the shockwave. The ONLY person he killed on purpose was his father.

Now when it comes to his father, he had just beat him and locked him outside. He’s FIVE, and he has no healthy outlet for his anger and frustration. Hell, we see that in his “itchiness”, he only feels like this in the house, because his father makes him suppress his love for heroes and his dream to become one. He takes joy in killing his father because it’s the only release he’s ever experienced.

The fact that you guys forget that this is an abused child with no real control over his quirk that just got beaten and locked outside... Nope, no reading comprehension here.

4. “The League of Villains are justified/are a revolutionary group”

...Shigaraki has stated over and over again that he just wants to destroy everything. He doesn’t care about reform or improving anything. That one panel in Ch. 222, where he says he wants to destroy everything I think sums it up perfectly.

He wants to destroy EVERYTHING good or bad or neither or both. There’s a newborn baby, a field of flowers , Nine, various heroes, the UA kids, etc all varying in innocence.

The rest of the league have very different goals and reasons why they continue to support Shigaraki. Twice wants to protect the only people that accepted him. Spinner just wants to have purpose for his life. Toga wants to live the way she wishes with no consequences. Compress is also here.

The only “revolutionary” is Dabi. But his views are not universal throughout the league.

Even if they were trying to improve things. They have killed countless innocent people, they’ve tried to kill the UA kids too. That’s not ok. And it’s not erased by the fact that they’ve done good. (I do appreciate them for killing the MHA version of the KKK, truly epic of you)

5. “Hawks is abusive”

It’s not abuse to manipulate someone for info when you’re a double agent. It’s kinda shitty, and you could argue that it was unnecessary for Hawks to do so in context. But it’s not abuse.

Y’all need to stop using the word abuse/abusive tendencies to describe all immoral actions

I’ve also seen people say that Hawks has abusive tendencies (as in he’s abusive in all his relationships with other characters) and...do I really need to explain why that makes no sense at all?

6. “Twice deserved to die/it was necessary to kill him”

Feel like I need to remind people that we’ve only ever actually seen Twice kill one guy and that was one of the KKK guys.

Twice isn’t evil, even Hawks admits that he is a genuinely good person. Good people don’t deserve to die.

It wasn’t necessary, and here’s why: Hawks could’ve just knocked him out or even just severely injured him. (Or the HPSC could’ve just grown a brain cell and sent more people to back him up, making it easier to hold back his quirk and arrest him)

Hawks shouldn’t have killed Twice, he only killed him because he’s been raised as a child soldier and I wouldn’t be surprised if what he told Twice about taking out villains was a direct quote from the HPSC

Also, Hawks would’ve killed Twice with or without Dabi’s intervention

Something I do have to say though is that Hawks was right not to just let Twice go. It’s tragic because Twice WAS leaving to help his friends, but the other side of that tragedy it that his friends are terrorists. If he was allowed to leave a shit ton of people would have died (again that doesn’t mean he deserved to die either, don’t get it twisted)

The WHOLE POINT of Hawks v Twice is to make you question who the bad guy is. Both characters are morally gray and the only reason they even have to fight is because of the outside forces controlling their fates. It’s supposed to be tragic it’s supposed to be unclear who is in the right, so stop arguing about it.

7. “Bakugou is abusive/irredeemable” (I know it’s been talked to death but I still see it everywhere)

People are, in fact, allowed to grow past the person they were in middle school.

Most people get hung up on the “throw yourself off a building” line. Which is fair, but again, he was in middle school.

People also say “he hasn’t apologized yet”. Yeah? And? The story isn’t over yet. Horikoshi has already acknowledged that too. I don’t know what you want? People who like him know that his arc isn’t over yet.

I’ve seen a lot of people denying his character development. In the beginning of the series he was a bully and let his ego control him. I don’t think he’s bullied...anyone since Deku v Kacchan 2. He insults people but they obviously don’t take it seriously.

He’s also gone from preferring to fail a final exam to avoid working with Deku, to following him into battle against Shigaraki.

Also, when he actually likes and respects someone he doesn’t mistreat them. This is the same thing with Hawks where y’all NEED to stop misusing the word abuse. He was an abusive friend to Deku when they were kids, that’s it.

8. “Rei was abusive too!”

I’m BEGGING YOU to learn what the term “abuse” means istg

She had a psychotic break. She genuinely thought it was her abusive husband coming through the door, and she acted out of fear.

“Well that’s not an excuse” yes it fucking is. Not to mention that as soon as she realized what happened, she sobs hysterically because she hurt Shouto and tries to use her quirk to help him.

I genuinely don’t understand why people think this

9. “Dabi actually does care about the league”

Listen, I know it sounds harsh, but y’all need to get your heads out of your piles of headcanons.

We know next to nothing about how Dabi feels about just about anything. But we do see that he’s aloof and distant with the league, he doesn’t put in more than he needs to. The rest of the league think of each other as family. Dabi straight up says he doesn’t give a shit about them.

“What if he was just putting up a front for Hawks” Why? Why would he do that? When asked who he was he answered him. He tells him how he feels about hero society and Stain. Not to mention that he was getting ready to kill him. If he was hiding his true feelings about the league I doubt he would’ve so easily said that he didn’t care about them but rather how useful they were.

At this point it’s just wishful thinking. Based on everything we’ve seen in the series so far and everything we know about Dabi, I think it’s safe to say that he doesn’t care about them all that much. If he secretly does care about them, I’d say it’s likely that he doesn’t even know he does.

Idk why all of a sudden villain stans and hero stans are feuding over things that shouldn’t even be up for debate in the first place. Sorry if this came off as super aggressive, I’m just sick of seeing this stuff all over the place. If anyone has anything to add go ahead

#bnha #bnha spoilers #discourse #bakugou katsuki #Hawks #keigo takami #dabi #league of villains #mitsuki bakugou #shigaraki tomura

[arigatouiris]

reserved only for you // bakugou katsuki

Author’s Note: Soft Bakugou is my life. Soft Bakugou is who he is okay? I really like this idea idk where I got it from, but I’m so glad I wrote it down. This is how I see Bakugou respond to a crush and if that crush like him back! Hope you like it!

Word count: 3046

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Gentle! Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, soft kacchan

❝

You did not know how it happened.

You rushed back into your room, right after that, and shut the door behind you. Your dorm was dark, considering it was over 2 a.m., in the night. You let out a sigh before feeling how warm your face was, how erratically your heart was beating, how wide your eyes were and how your lips were quivering. Instantly, upon realizing these facts, your hands shot to your face and you let out a quiet squeal. 

Bakugou Katsuki, your biggest crush for the past few months, had confessed to you.

The initial few hours after accepting a request such as this one sends anyone’s hearts to the skies, but you were fragile already. Katsuki didn’t exactly ‘ask’, it was more of a ‘demand’ but a softer one, one that you understood rather well. You felt your knees grow weak as you slid down on the ground behind your door.

Katsuki-kun... you grumbled in your mind, your face still red hot.

You could remember the very first time you met him and not feeling the same excitement. He was brash, angry even, and didn’t even meet you in the eye. Apparently, you were an ‘extra’—something he’d called everyone in his class already. However, it was Mina Ashido who had discovered that something lay beneath Bakugou Katsuki’s many layers, and as intrigued as you were, you intended on finding out exactly what that was.

Perhaps, the universe gave you a chance to do so by seating you beside him. Initially, it shocked you at how diligent he was as a student; he seemed the sort who’d never pay attention, who’d not give a damn as to what the teacher had to say. Instead, he went against each and every single one of your expectations and threw them in your face. 

And you let out “You really are amazing, Bakugou-kun...” without realizing.

He looked at you, from the corner of his eye, half-annoyed, and half-amused, a look only he could pull off, before shrugging your words off and minding his own business. In Bakugou’s language, that meant he didn’t mind what you said.

Days after that became rather easy. You actually looked forward to class more and more, and you could even remember the first day you greeted Bakugou in the morning, shocking the rest of the class when he actually replied.

     “Good morning, Bakugou-kun!” You chirped, sitting in your desk, looking at him with a sweet smile.

     “Hey.”

Ashido instantly married you two off in her mind, Kaminari sulked in the corner that you seemed more excited to see a porcupine than a lovable battery, Midoriya did what Midoriya did best—he cried, and Todoroki found his books fascinating. Your growing friendship with Bakugou was something everyone noticed, but no one really thought it could lead anywhere.

The ‘die! die! die!’ boy whose primary focus was to be the number one hero didn’t have time for stupid little crushes or playing house. You told yourself this multiple times, yet, your crush never stopped growing in intensity. It was then you told yourself that it’s completely alright to have a crush on someone as unattainable as Bakugou Katsuki because it’s as if you had a crush on a celebrity like Hawks (who is a celebrity hero, and you did like him). Expectations took a backseat and this was something the whole class noticed—you’d greet him every day, but you wouldn’t approach him more so just because of your growing friendship. You didn’t try finding too many things in common, and you’d not try to keep a conversation going if it was fading out.

Your attempts at wooing Bakugou were null to zero—the whole class knew you were not attempting at anything. It was something even Bakugou noticed. He’d watch as you interacted with faculty members regarding the nature of your quirk, he’d notice how you’d interact with his fellow classmates, how you’d turn other boys down, how sometimes you’d stare at him while he did something absolutely mundane like reading or writing or even eating, for that matter. 

Bakugou Katsuki knew what effect he had on you yet, he was impressed at your restraint. Maybe one day you’d burst and tell him about having a crush on him, maybe one day he’d actually get to turn you down—

He stopped at his thoughts. As he was writing, he paused... He blinked twice before analyzing from the corner of his eye at what you were doing. You were humming a soft tune, almost inaudible, and as Katsuki’s eyes traveled to your book, he noticed how you were completing homework. It was a free period, Aizawa-sensei was sleeping in front of the class, and there you were—instead of chatting or doodling or reading manga or some shit, you were completing homework. 

It was a second after that did his eyes dart to your face. You didn’t have a smile exactly, but it wasn’t a frown either. Your hair sat so perfectly at your face, and he noticed when you paused—your eyes scrunched up just a little bit and you popped your tongue out before letting out a soft curse.

His eyes darted back to your book before noticing your sum. You had written down the right formula, but you were working on it incorrectly. 

Clicking his tongue, Bakugou smoothly moved his pencil over to your book before raspily saying, “It’s like this.”

It was the smallest of movements, little to no significance. Classmates help each other out in situations like this one, but your heart couldn’t take it. Your eyes grew wide as Bakugou solved the sum for you, no curse word, no insult—just helping you, generously. You gulped before looking down at the book, trying to focus on the sum he was working on.

     “T-Thank you...” You let out, knowing you sounded stupid.

He didn’t say a word but just nodded once before minding his own business again. 

It was a few days after that did you notice something else. He yelled a little less often, he still cursed a lot—but his yelling almost ceased. It was as if the image he had built for himself was slowly fading; he was no longer angry Bakugou Katsuki but was unapproachable and serious Bakugou Katsuki who, in very, very rare moments, was nice and kind. He was trying to be something and it was a gesture almost everyone noticed.

     “So Bakugou’s been rather... soft these days.” Sero brought up once, right in front of Bakugou.

You smiled at Sero, then looking at Bakugou who was at your side, before feeling a sweat drop at your forehead. You knew Sero was merely pushing the blond to react. 

     “Actually, now that you mention it, he has gotten quieter these few days. What’s up, Bakubro?” Kirishima asked, blinking.

     “Is it because of a crush?” Ashido sang, bringing her hands together.

     “Psh! Bakugou? A crush? Pigs can start learning how to fly before that happens.” Kaminari said, rolling his eyes.

     “And what girl can like him anyway?” Mineta suddenly spoke, alerting everyone.

Even the gang thought what Mineta said was a bit rude. You initially just intended on sitting down there, not saying a word—letting them tease their friend. You knew in your heart Bakugou didn’t mind the teasing, he cherished his friendship despite being so aggressive, but Mineta’s comment threw you off guard.

     “I can.” You said, shocking the entire class.

You were smiling at Mineta, a soft smile that sent shivers down his back. Everyone else merely stared at you as you said it so confidently as if you weren’t ashamed of it. No, it was quite evident that you weren’t ashamed of it at all, in fact, you wore this fact with pride.

     “(y/n)-chan, you—”

You interrupted Kirishima and nodded, “I like Bakugou-kun. A lot. Let’s keep our rude thoughts to ourselves though, okay?”

No one could understand how confident you were at that second. It was a bit sad, seeing how you barely expected a response to your indirect confession—how you barely expected anything out of having feelings for Bakugou in the first place. It was as if you were crushing on a fictional character, but there he was, sitting right next to you.

     “Oi, Bakugou! (y/n)-chan just said—”

     “We have class now!” You said chirpily, before alerting everyone to Midnight-sensei who just entered class.

What you or anyone else in the class had failed to notice was Bakugou’s expression at your abrupt confession. He was wide-eyed, almost as wide-eyed as he was learning Midoriya’s secret. He couldn’t bear to look at you right then, he couldn’t bear to think of anything at the moment. He knew you were growing soft on him, but to think you’d stand up for him and say it like you owned it?

No, you did own it. Damn, you owned the stage so hard right then. 

He felt terrible, though. He knew you didn’t approach him because he was focused on his hero training. He felt terrible because he couldn’t even give you even a slight bit of hope that he did in fact like you back—and you could, in fact, approach him and confess. Instead, you were swallowing your confession deep inside your heart, hiding it from him so that he could succeed. He clicked his tongue and frowned hard, and for the first time, he wasn’t sure what he had to do.

After school, Bakugou would usually train with his classmates. But, that day he wasn’t anywhere to be found. You wanted to find him and explain to him about what had happened—hoping that he didn’t take it the wrong way. There was no wrong way, you knew now you had to tell him what you were feeling and it wasn’t as if you were hiding it. You were more than happy to let him know.

But, maybe, liking someone had some sort of expectation attached to it as well. You felt your spirits lower down as time passed—tired of asking anyone and everyone if they had seen Bakugou. No one had, he had simply vanished—it was strange, almost.

Maybe, he’s just so done that he couldn’t face this... You thought before heading over to the dorm. 

You shut yourself in your room and didn’t come out for the night. Mina called you out for dinner, but you couldn’t show yourself—not after what had happened. You texted her saying you weren’t too hungry and that you were feeling a bit ill. Mina understood right away and left you alone.

However, she had a bone to pick with Bakugou and she didn’t care if Bakugou Katsuki was a scary person. 

You were the gentlest soul anyone had the opportunity of knowing. Learning how Bakugou had treated you—by not even acknowledging your confession. During dinner, Mina rushed to where Bakugou sat and slammed her hand on the table, not even alerting him.

     “Bakugou!” She looked angry, a look that didn’t exactly fit Mina. “(y/n)-chan doesn’t deserve silence!”

Almost the entire class of 1-A watched as Mina reprimanded Bakugou, almost everyone expected him to snap and scream at her or try to blast her away. Kirishima was even ready to grab his friend away before any harm came her way, but what shocked everyone and even Mina for that matter, was how he just sat there and... took it.

     “You... You... Bakugou...” Mina blinked, running out of breath.

He was quietly eating, or that was what Mina thought he was doing and the second she noticed his full bowl of rice, and the curry untouched—her eyes widened. She turned to look at her classmates and shrugged, knowing Bakugou wasn’t feeling himself either.

     “Just...” Mina didn’t know what else to say, “Just tell her already.”

     “I know, dumb alien.”

It was then everyone left Bakugou alone, almost surprised at how much he had changed the past few days. No one could understand why romance was so complicated for him, but it wasn’t just romance anymore. It had a lot more to do with how you understood things—the way you didn’t approach Bakugou. You had invariably put him first over yourself, which isn’t what people usually do. 

This was the very thing Bakugou wanted to address.

That night, Bakugou decided to not head back to his dorm right away. He lounged on the couch, lying down on it, sitting on it, resting his neck on the armrest—nothing was comfortable. Was he expecting you to turn up? He wasn’t sure—he wasn’t certain you would come, considering how you hadn’t eaten dinner, he assumed you could come down for a snack but you were probably asleep too. He checked the time and it was close to 1 a.m., and he groaned.

What the fuck am I doing? 

He rubbed a hand across his tired face before getting up to drink some water. Walking over to the kitchen, he froze when he saw a shadow.

     “Please, please, please...” There was no mistaking it, it was you.

Bakugou didn’t turn on the light, but took out his phone and threw the torchlight at you, causing you to almost shriek but he instantly put his hand on your mouth, swallowing your shout. Bakugou’s eyes darted to what was in your hand, a jar of cookies—unopened, and you seemed to be struggling with the lid.

How the hell did I not notice her? Bakugou wondered before letting you go, once he was certain you wouldn’t scream. Must be that quirk of hers...

     “You want me to open that for you?” 

You gulped before handing the jar to him, “Yes, please. I have bu—”

     “Butterfingers. I know.”

Katsuki could open it in one try, and you blushed at how easy he made it seem. You mumbled a small thank you before placing the jar back on the counter, taking one cookie out.

     “Bakugou-kun, I—”

     “Katsuki.”

Your eyes widened before feeling the blush increase, “U-Uh... Yes, okay... Um, Katsuki-kun, I... I wanted to explain what happened. You weren’t anywhere to be found after school and I thought I’d offended you. I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going to bother you with these feelings. They are my feelings and I won’t burden them on you.”

He was looking straight at you, your eyes had somehow adjusted to the quasi-dark setting of the kitchen. 

     “Why?”

     “Heh?”

     “Why won’t you,” he rubbed the back of his neck, finding this a bit hard to say, “Why won’t you, you know, burden them or whatever.”

     “I mean, I was trying to—”

     “They’re not a fucking burden.”

He looked visibly uncomfortable, and you hated yourself for doing that. Your heart went out to how hard it may be for him at that second and you let out a sigh.

     “I’ve never tried hiding the fact that I like you, Katsuki-kun. You inspire me and you’re just very kind.”

     “Bullshit—”

     “You really are! I can fight you for it.” You giggled, sending his heart shooting to the skies.

     “Why didn’t you just tell me?” Bakugou asked, feeling so vulnerable, he felt nauseous.

     “Because I also want you to be the number one hero.” You said, smiling at him, tilting your head to the side.

A second later, Bakugou Katsuki did what Bakugou Katsuki did best—reveal what he felt through action. He walked over to you, his hand flying to your hand before pulling you closer to him. His other hand wound itself around your waist before pressing your form to his chest, embracing you in a tight hug. Your eyes were wide and his chin now rested on your shoulder. A second later, your hands pressed on his back and you could feel your heart pounding.

Actually, you weren’t sure if it was your heart or Katsuki’s.

     “I’m not good at any of this,” He admitted, shutting his eyes, “But I really don’t find you annoying. Not one bit.”

You felt like you were going to explode. Was this his quirk?

     “Katsu—”

     “Let me finish, dumbass,” It was perhaps the first time he threw a half-hearted insult at you in days, “I’m not saying I’m going to do this... I’m saying... Fuck, I’m saying I’ll try, got that?”

Your grip on him tightened and you hugged him back tighter. Bakugou’s eyes widened with that gesture.

     “You really don’t have to.” You said, softly.

     “I want to, (y/n). I like you.”

When you two pulled away, Katsuki darted his eyes away from yours and looked at your cookie. You followed his gaze before letting out a small squeak and eating it in one go, causing the blond to rub your back and call you a dumbass.

     “Katsuki-kun!” You whisper-yelled, “Does... Does this... Does this mean we’re—”

     “I suppose it does.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck, not looking at you.

     “We’ll go at your own pace!” You said, smiling at him.

Katsuki took one look at you before saying ‘tch’ and gulping. That was enough of an answer.

Which led you back to your current predicament, as you struggled to maintain your composure. You wanted to see him again—and oh god, you wanted to seal the entire deal with a kiss. You were half-terrified if Katsuki woke up in the morning and realized he wasn’t going to do this—which would never happen, he never went back on what he said.

You covered your face in your lap but almost shrieked when you heard a knock sound on your door. You quickly opened the door to reveal a red-faced Katsuki.

     “Katsu—”

     “Don’t fucking say anything.” He said.

     “Say anything to what—”

In an instant, Katsuki leaned forward and kissed you squarely on the lips. It was awkward as if he didn’t have a clue what he was doing—neither did you, for that matter, but his lack of experience or previous interest was evident. Your right hand flew to his check and you held him, enjoying the feel of how soft his skin was. A second later, he pulled away, your hand still on his cheek.

You had never seen Bakugou so soft before. It almost broke your heart. 

But, it was a sight only for your eyes. When you smiled at him, he knew and you knew—that Bakugou Katsuki’s softness was reserved only for you. 

And there was no other way you’d have it.

❞

#katsuki bakugou #bnha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou #Katsuki Bakugō #bnha x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero fanfic #mha bakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #baku #katsuki #mina ashido #midoriya izuku

[irwintry]

the air before a storm

Warnings: just a bunch of good old fluff, swearing, alcohol

Author’s Note: yes this takes place in the outer banks no u are not allowed to mention the show—they are nothing alike. anyway i’m back :) hi

Summary: Y/N and Luke are neighbors in a beachside town where tourists are annoying and tropical storms aren’t rare. And they just can’t stop flirting. 

Word Count: 5.6k 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pelican Perch was a dead-end street.

It was well-wooded, wax myrtles and river birch kissing sandy chunks of pavement while homes too small for the average nuclear family were nestled behind thick, invasive vines. Quaint homes designed to keep the rain and the bugs out. Local homes. Each had their own shimmering windsock hung out front that was already tattered from storms, gifted to them by the neighborhood community last spring. Personalized homes. Beach homes that shared every aspect without even trying. Almost every shingle had been defaced by weather damage throughout the years. And the air always smelled of hot gravel and honeysuckle on breezy days. Homes on this road were loved.

You loved yours most of all.

With a front porch stuffed full of plants—ferns, strawberries, tomatoes, the lot—and knick-knacks you had collected throughout the past year, it was easy to love and call home to something that had once been temporary. The baby blue bike perched against a yaupon bush was proudly your preferred mode of transportation. Snuck far up the driveway sat a rusting 2005 Toyota Corolla with sand painted across its rear, and it was not well-loved, though it had been well-lived. The windsock hung off of your porch matched the color of your bike.

The last house on the street never put their windsock up. That house was right beside yours.

He had been there longer than you—you weren’t entirely sure how long, but your arrival prior to last season was greeted with his kind smile. A kind smile, gentle words, and eyes that melted into the ocean, far beyond the whitecaps where the sky touched the sea. All of that beauty, and you never caught his name.

For months on end, you watched him when he wasn’t looking. He left for work during your kitchen stumble for cold brew, nothing but a plain white tee and mesh shorts as he climbed into his jeep, sunkissed and sleepy. Minutes later, you would bike to work and find his Jeep along the way. He worked at the Island Rescue Squad, a small building that held more responsibility than being a simple motel receptionist. He paid his bills by saving lives; you paid yours by telling guests that they couldn’t swim naked in the swimming pool.

You didn’t know him beyond the sights through your kitchen window. But the evenings you crossed paths were treasured.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he’d ask, a nonchalant smile gracing his cheeks before darting his gaze the other way.

After some time, you found enough confidence to reply, “Not bad—you?” as you knocked out the kickstand on your bike.

He was always in the middle of hoisting a backpack over his shoulder. And then he would shrug, smile never fading, and say, “Not bad,” right back. That would be it.

You knew that his blond curls were your favorite thing before you even knew his name. But you also knew, in good faith, that the latter half was going to change.

That was why you should at his door late in the evening in July, a saran-wrapped plateful of coconut macaroons in your hands while your eyes scanned the details of his front porch. A white surfboard beside the front door had experienced its fair share of weather discoloration on the tail. At the end of the deck, withered plants were lined up along a wooden shoe bench. The doormat beneath your feet had nylon paw prints stitched in beside the welcome lettering. When you knocked on the door, a heart-stopping voice called out, “Just a minute!”

You tucked your ankles inward as his face appeared behind the screen. His smile was bold and bright, and from up close, you could hardly breathe.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked in his normal fashion, opening up the screen door so he could step outside with you. His gaze fell to the plate of macaroons while he leaned up against the door. “You’re kidding—did you make those for me?”

Six more words than the usual conversation; you were off to a successful start.

“Yes,” you said, fingers brushing his beneath the ceramic plate when you passed it over to him. “I had to figure out a good way to come over here and formally introduce myself. A whole year later. Better late than never, I guess.”

He smiled along to your words and nodded. “These look so good. Thank you.” He held out one of his hands for you to shake.

His name was Luke. He was only a few years out of school. Taller than any man you knew and flirtatious with his grin, and he kept his eyes locked on you as you spoke. He shared information through little words yet maintained a steady conversation. Talking to old friends was harder than this.

It was difficult to stomach—the way his quiet chuckles and wide smiles were decidedly the best things in the world and how your heart was a concrete block in your chest. It occurred to you, after waving goodnight on your way down the porch steps, that his smile never died. But you pinned it all on his kind heart over anything else.

Life between the two of you felt cyclical. Until one morning he caught you on your way to work.

“I’m gonna be up in Manteo,” he began, tossing a duffle into the backseat of his Jeep with a quiet grunt. “Just a few days. Some ridiculously boring conference that could probably be summed up in a Skype or whatever. Better than leading rope rescue trainings again though.”

Your lips pulled down into a playful frown. “You’re leaving me?”

Luke’s responsive laughter was a good start to your morning. “I’m sorry. Promise I’ll be back. They’ve got us all in some four-star inn. Free wifi and breakfast.”

“Oh, look at you. Living like a king.”

“Right? I’m tired of paying for my own Cheerios.”

It was nice to have someone to talk to, you thought, but you knew you were searching for more than a friend in him. Your heart was warm under his company. You didn’t know how, but it felt easy with him.

“Would you be able to do me a favor?” he asked as he leaned against his car. He kept his distance, his driveway to yours while the patch of dry grass between you watched with intrigue.

“Anything but mowing the lawn, yes.”

Luke cracked a grin. “I’m not that mean. No. Could you—uh, could you water a few plants for me out front? Just once or twice. I’d pay you back in macaroons, but I’m a shit baker.”

“No worries,” you said and situated your bike against your thigh. “I’ll water your plants. But that just means you’ll have to make up for the macaroons somehow. I’ll let you think on it.” You started off down the driveway before he could answer.

“Hold me to that!” he called after you. You sent him a smile in response and sped off toward the main road.

Later that evening, you found that Luke had left a note beside each potted plant on the shoe bench. Betty – allow to dry between waterings next to the Begonia, Calum – keep moist for the Caladium, Tom – water twice a day for the newly planted tomato plant, and Babe – water sparingly for Basil. Each note was signed with a smile and a heart.

—

The next time you heard from Luke, he wasn’t alone. Four days plus a hankering for human interaction—aside from tourists that asked for restaurant suggestions every hour—had left you craving a different kind of intimacy. An intimacy that didn’t require physical touch but was only fulfilled through his presence. Just knowing that he was next door comforted you in ways you couldn’t explain. You didn’t know him, but you knew that he was someone you could rely on.

You heard his car door slam before anything else. Through the window of your kitchen sink, you peeked out into the darkening night, searching for his lanky figure only to find a small animal instead. A dog. You forgot that you had been staring when Luke came into view. His wave tore you from your gaze.

You cracked the window open before you could hesitate. The overwhelming buzzes and clicks of cicadas were immediate to greet you.

“Are you gonna introduce me?” you called out to him, grinning wide as you pressed your elbows down onto the window sill. With the edge of the sink digging into your abdomen, the position was less than comfortable, but you didn’t think about it.

Through the waxing darkness, Luke’s smile was bright. “Only if you come give her a head scratch—then she’ll fall right in love with you,” he said.

You were outside within a few seconds. The side screen door slammed behind you as you hurried over, knees meeting the rough grass so the lovely lady could easily bound over to you. She nestled her nose into your palm and let out a snort. Above you, Luke chuckled at the sound.

“Name’s Petunia,” he said, bending down beside you to pet Petunia’s bum. “A friend of mine is moving ‘cross country—couldn’t keep her. I love the damn girl, so I immediately wanted to take her in. How’re the plants doing?”

“She’s the sweetest,” you mumbled. To him, to yourself—it didn’t matter. You were captivated. “And Betty, Calum, Tom, and Babe are great. The names, by the way? Genius. You have a talent. I’ll have to get you to name my plants. So far, I just have Candace and Big Mama.”

“Big Mama?” Luke’s short giggles filled the air. “I think you’ve got the talent, too.”

Petunia leaned into your scratches before turning back to Luke. So, you stood, brushing sandy dirt from your knees, and Luke soon followed.

“If you ever need someone to take care of her,” you said, “I’m always around. And I won’t make you bake anything. I’m a big dog person, so that’s already enough. I mean, I’m not opposed to a few cupcakes every now and then.”

A lopsided smile grew on Luke’s cheeks. “Red velvet?”

“It’s like you already know me,” you gasped out. “How was Manteo? That’s where you were, right?”

“Well, nothing beats free Cheerios in the mornings, so it wasn’t too bad,” he told you as he wrapped Petunia’s leash around his wrist. She nudged herself between his legs. “Manteo actually has a real downtown, so that was kinda nice.”

“You better not be thinking about leaving me.”

“Leave you? Never.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest.

“Besides, tourists down here are the reason any of us even have a job.” He scratched the corner of his eye as he spoke. “I’d rather not be saving drunk middle-aged men from rip currents, but I’d never leave Hatteras.”

The corners of your lips twitched upward. “Good, cos’ if you leave,” you said, pointing to your other neighbor’s house, “then I’m stuck with Judy and Ted. You can’t do that to me.”

“Oh, God, no.” His eyes widened as he shook his head. “I’d never do that to you. Or I’d just make you come with me.”

Now, your heart was on fire. You raised a brow in reaction to his statement, and his eyes widened again. The words had slipped out—that was easy to understand, but he couldn’t take them back. You wouldn’t want him to.

“Um, yeah—” Luke placed a hand on the back of his neck and backed away toward his home, Petunia following in tow. “Thanks for watering my plants. Expect cupcakes soon.”

“Don’t you dare.”

His grin reached his eyes. “Goodnight,” he said.

You were certain that you were a fool.

—

NC-12 was worse on Saturdays. The highway was congested with incoming and outgoing travelers, some careless and some too careful. On the way to work, you were among its passengers. Your baby blue bike was swallowed up whole by the minivans and SUVs that occupied the road. Somehow, you made it out alive every time. All it took was a spontaneous sharp turn from a truck to send you rolling onto the pavement.

It was a miracle you ended up with a dozen scrapes and a sprained wrist. The medical bill wasn’t worth missing a few days off of your paycheck, no matter how horrible the weekends could be. A few members of the rescue squad had shown up at the scene of the minor accident—you were glad that Luke hadn’t been with them. But you also wished that he had.

When you powered through the pain as you pedaled home, you weren’t sure if you wanted to see him. You weren’t sure if you wanted to see his reaction—mild injuries and all, and you weren’t sure if you wanted him to buy out all of the cupcakes on the island to make you feel better. Nevertheless, you didn’t have a choice. He was already getting out of his car once you pulled up.

He waved and smiled, and then his eyes grew wide. The scrape on your left cheek told all.

“Shit, love, you okay?” he said, walking towards you slowly. He kept his movements careful and calculated—he had seen the tears fill your eyes before you realized they were there.

“I’m dandy,” you replied breathily, waving your hand to shake off the emotions. The faux smile you put on only faltered, and the skin beneath your eyes stung.

Luke looked horrified. You could see the twitch in his hands, the way he almost reached out for you as he approached, but he held back. And you could see it in his eyes—all he wanted to do was make you feel better.

“You don’t happen to have any cupcakes, do you?” you asked with a sniff. Your smile wavered, and a small tear slipped down your cheek.

When he chose not to hold back—when he chose to pull you in close, then you decided not to hold back either. With his arms circled around your waist, you didn’t care about soaking through his t-shirt with your tears. You didn’t care that your breathing had picked up to near hyperventilation. You felt safe and warm, so you couldn’t care.

The hug lasted until your quiet sobs calmed. Luke’s chin pulled away from the top of your head as you wiped your cheeks with the back of your wrists.

“What happened?” he said, voice soft.

“Dumb vacationers—” Sniff. “—can’t use a fuckin’ turn signal.”

Luke let out a quiet sigh.

“I’m fine, I just… hurt.”

He glanced at his home over his shoulder and then back at you. “Would you wanna come over? I don’t have any cupcakes, but I have frozen pizza. And Petunia misses you.”

You could hear the unspoken words in his voice. I miss you.

This was what happened when you finally learned someone’s name.

You didn’t know how to explain it, but his living room looked like him. Light blue, wooden walls with collected posters unevenly nailed onto the panels. An old couch was the centerpiece, tan and woven with Petunia snuggled onto it with a blanket beneath her. Bookshelves full of CDs and vinyl records stood on either side of the room, but they had been untouched for some time. The home smelled like him, as strange as it sounded. Warm, woodsy, and comfortable.

From the couch, you sat up straight once the oven door shut. You counted each smell beep as the timer was set. Luke walked into the living room a moment later.

“You sure you don’t want some Advil or something?” he asked. “Or—I dunno—a beer? Maybe? I don’t have a lot, but—”

“A beer actually sounds good,” you said to him, folding your hands over your lap. “It’s been a bit of a shit day.”

He continued talking to you as he headed back into the kitchen. The home was small enough for any voice to carry, and you were glad he could maintain a conversation. That alone told you how much he cared. Despite how long you had lived on the island—a year and four months—and despite how long it took you to know him, it mattered greatly to you that he cared. You cared about him, too. It would be hard to see such a friendly face every day and think otherwise.

“Where’d they take you to get checked out?” he called to you from the next room over.

“Urgent care in Nags Head.”

“You’re kidding.” The sound of bottles clinking on the counter followed.

“Wish I was.”

Pop tops landed into a quiet clatter as he said, “how long were you there?” He joined you in the living room a few seconds later and handed you a bottle of Corona.

“Six hours.”

“Six hours?”

You nodded, sharing your best laugh before taking a sip of the fizzing liquid. “You better believe it. All for some cuts and a sprained-frickin’-wrist. And I’ll bet you my bill is gonna be chewing me up for the next year.”

Luke furrowed his brows and kept his gaze low. He appeared to be thinking about something else. “Did they call my squad?”

“A few guys showed up, yeah.”

He bit his bottom lip. “Dunno why they didn’t call me. I would’ve just took ya home.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. He didn’t know that everything he said made your heart race pick up. If your day hadn’t been so long, then your nerves would’ve eaten you alive by now. You were lucky, for the katydid calls outside masked any hint of tension between you.

“Thanks for the drink,” you said, words heavy in your throat. Thinking about your nerves only made them worse. And being around him only made you want him more.

He had called you love earlier; it had to mean something.

Luke’s smile was small, but it said enough. “Anytime.”

Although the pizza was cold in the middle and the taste of your drink had gotten old, what mattered to you was the company. Not the sprained wrist that ached with each movement. Not the tight bandages that tugged at your skin because you shifted a certain way. Nothing about the day mattered because it brought you to this.

His laughter was hypnotic—intoxicating almost—and it took away your breath every time. Making him laugh was addicting. Getting to see those few moments when his eyes light up with joy put shame to the ocean only a mile or two away. You wondered how on earth it had taken so long to know him.

And still, you didn’t know him. Just a name, a face, and a dog named Petunia.

“So, the rescue squad, huh?” you teased at one point as you situated yourself closer to Petunia. You learned that her nickname was Piggy and that, while she was cute, she also had the stinkiest farts—according to Luke. Nevertheless, you pressed your face close to hers and smacked a kiss to her forehead. She rolled over to give you access to her tummy. “What’s it like?”

Luke’s soft smile was etched into his skin. “Fuckin’ stressful,” he answered. “But great. It’s like a family.”

“I can imagine it’s not the prettiest job.”

“No.” He shook his head, and his smile fell. As he spoke, he twirled his bottle on the edge of the coffee table. “It’s not. A lot of tourists just don’t pay attention to the ocean, y’know? We put a million signs out there, and they just think that it will never happen to them. Suddenly you get waves going different directions, and you’re floating out with the current. You never know what’s gonna happen.”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you listened. He took his job seriously; some people didn’t.

“It’s just—uh, s’just terrible to see it,” he continued, keeping his head down low. “When you save someone from the surf, but they’re not breathing… and then their families are there—their fuckin’ families are screaming and crying. They just wanted a fun day on the beach. And you gotta make sure that no one dies. I’m just lucky to not have seen it much.”

“It’s horrifying.”

He hummed. “Yeah. And I don’t like it when people call us heroes. Cos’ we’re not. I’m not. We’re doing our job. We wanna keep people safe. We wanna make sure no one has to go through that. B-but when it comes down to you, and you have someone’s life in your hands—” Tears pricked at his eyes, and he swallowed thickly before continuing. “—how the hell are you not gonna try to save them? People over-glorify hero moments. We’re all just trying to take care of each other so we’re not mentally scarred along the way.”

“I’ve seen it.”

“You have?”

“I used to vacation here as a teen with my family,” you said, “before I officially decided that tourists are the fucking worst. I just wanted to live here and be on my own. And you’re right—about the screaming and crying. The families stand there to break your heart. I bit my tongue until it bled when I saw that jet ski go out on the water. It doesn’t happen every day, so I just never assumed it would happen around me. Didn’t think forty minutes would pass with nonstop chest compressions. Didn’t think anyone would give up either. Maybe ‘hero’ isn’t the word, just ‘good people’.”

Luke’s eyes were glassy, but he smiled through it. His fingers twitched in your direction on the neck of his bottle. “So—” He cleared his throat. “—what do you do?”

“Oh, it’s my turn now?” you said, biting back a smile. “Just you wait until you hear about all of the trauma I get from being a motel receptionist. I’ll have you beat.”

Once again, his laughter filled the room. All you felt was warmth.

The house rocked after then, lights flickering with the gust, but the wind quickly died. You and Luke shared uncertain glances.

“I’m guessing it doesn’t usually do that.”

Luke shook his head. “Not usually.”

An empty bottle of Corona sat between your palms, moisture growing on the surface from how he made you feel. You asked yourself it was normal to feel this way, if it was something more than the sudden admiration of a mysterious neighbor. You liked him, but how much?

You wanted to spend every moment with him to figure it out. But the last thing you wanted was to overstay your welcome.

“Thanks for this, by the way,” you said, ducking your chin. “For the pizza and stuff. Maybe you’re not a bad neighbor after all.”

Luke smirked. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Your knees creaked as you stood, bones still aching from the impact of the pavement. You wondered how many bruises would appear on your body by morning. Luke stood along with you, towering high but keeping his presence small. He had to know how much he affected you.

“Love you, Piggy,” you mumbled to Petunia with a quick scratch behind her ear.

She huffed in response.

Luke laughed. “She said I love you, too.”

“I’m gonna have to learn how to bake doggie treats for her.”

“But then she’s gonna love you more than she loves me.”

You smiled over your shoulder on your way toward the front door. His eyes had already been burning the back of your head. “That’s the goal,” you told him with one hand on the doorknob. “See you tomorrow?”

He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. You swore you could see a hint of pink tint his cheeks. “See you tomorrow.”

—

A tropical storm was set to hit two days later. It became a hurricane overnight. Category 1. Category 2. It finally settled on 3, its path set for the Outer Banks before it was meant to swing up the East Coast. A mandatory evacuation was set in place by the next morning.

The air was thick, trees restless and wind loud as it picked up. The sky was a permanent dark gray, and the clouds looked like something one would see in a disaster movie. It wasn’t your first time dealing with tropical storms and hurricanes, but they never failed to make your heart race. The unpredictability—the fate of your home, your belongings, and so on—always scared you.

You loaded as much as you could into your Corolla. The wind didn’t care about your disheveled hair or how high it blew your shorts. It didn’t care that it was tossing sticks off of trees, down onto the roof of your home. You said a quick goodbye to the shingles while you were at it; a few were bound to end up in Pamlico Sound by the end of the week.

As you shut the car door, another door opened behind you. Luke rushed out of his home with Petunia toddling behind.

“You okay?” he called to you. He had two bags over his shoulders, another in his hands before he tossed them into the back of his Jeep. “Know where you’re headin’?”

“Think so,” you said over the wind. “Can’t wait to pee my pants in traffic. Any of the guard staying?”

Luke nodded as his curls danced around his chin. “They’re gonna be spotted up and down the coast. You stay safe out there, all right?”

“Yeah, you too.”

It wasn’t the preferred way of saying goodbye, but the hot, stale air trapped itself in your lungs. You were ready to greet the clicking air conditioner of your broken car like an old friend, and then one turn of the ignition turned into two, three, four, and many more. The headlights flickered off and on, yet the light never stayed long. You hit the steering wheel with the base of your palms in frustration.

A sudden knock at your passenger side window took all of the frustration away.

Luke opened up the door and said, “come with me.”

That was how you ended up beside him, stuck in two-hour traffic while you thought about the way his lips molded around words. Soft rock played quietly on the radio as you sat without making a sound. But it was comfortable silence. Thankful silence. The air before the storm disguised the thick tension.

Petunia wandered around the back seat, on occasion whining before flopping back down onto her blanket. Every so often, you would lean back and scratch her head, and Luke would smile at you. Unspoken words were better than no words at all.

“Tell me about yourself,” you said after a while. With the Bodie Lighthouse to your left, the ocean to your right, the wasn’t much else to keep you occupied. “Not like, childhood trauma stuff, but basic stuff. Favorite color, favorite food—that stuff.”

Luke had one hand on the wheel, the other pressed against his chin while he leaned on the car door. He faced the road yet had his eyes trained on you. “Well, what if I really wanna open up about my childhood traumas?” he asked playfully.

“Hey, I’m all ears. We’re gonna be stuck in traffic until the mainland.”

He chuckled and rubbed beneath his lips. You didn’t know that such a small action could make your cheeks flush. “Favorite color? Hm. Blue, I guess. Favorite food has gotta be those damn macaroons you made me. They were absolutely delicious, babe.”

Your smile lit up the car.

“If you wanna know everything about me, all you gotta do is check out my mum’s Facebook,” he said. “Liz Hemmings. She posts every photo I send her and talks about my love life when she’s bored.”

“Love life, huh?”

He huffs quietly. “Her profile has been a little dry lately then, I guess.” When his eyes found yours, a small smile grew on his lips. “She’d love you. I’ll have t’let you know when she comes to visit next.”

“Oh man,” you said. “I’m already meeting my neighbor’s mom.”

Luke chuckled. “Uh oh. I didn’t push it too far, did I?”

“Didn’t know we were there yet, s’all. But I’d be happy to meet her.”

He set his hand down on the gear shift. Inches away from yours. “She’d just wonder what the hell you’re doin’ around me. Tell you that you’re too good for me. Stuff like that. I mean, it’s true.”

“Just tell her that I can’t afford to move, so I’m stuck with you.”

“Aw, you don’t mean that.”

“Unfortunately, no. I don’t mean that.”

“Good,” he mumbled, glancing out the window. “Cos’ I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

—

The hurricane made landfall at two in the morning. The hotel walls of the Quality Inn shook and rain pattered hard against the window. The alarm clock beside the bed turned black. From across the room, you could barely hear Luke stir in his own bed. And despite the storm, your heart still tugged at the thought of him there with you.

The wind was the worst thing of all. You thought about your home, the plants you dragged inside, and the windsock you forgot to take down. Maybe Luke would let you borrow his. But all that mattered, in the moment, was the voice calling your name through the pitch-black night. Somehow, it carried over the storm, over the howling wind and the rain coming down in sheets. It pulled your heart right out of your chest.

Your eyes were heavy with sleep as you said, “Luke?

You could hear him turn over in bed, but through the dark, you could only make out the edges of his figure. You hoped he had turned to face you.

“Hey. You okay?” His voice was soft, and you felt the storm slowly slip away.

“Can’t sleep” you answered. “Not a big fan of storms.”

He was barely awake, quiet words of “wanna come over here?” floating in the air-conditioned air. Your own words were stuck in your throat. So you didn’t answer. You rose from your bed instead, feet padding to the opposite side of his bed before crawling under the sheets beside him. His warmth radiated off of him.

Luke’s hand was right beside your hand. You swore you could hear his breaths over the wind. If you were able to see his features so close to yours, you would cease to exist. Your heart had found a comfortable home in your throat.

Fingers wove in between yours, gentle and warm like they were barely there, but they were all you could feel. Rough in the right places. Luke’s hand rested on yours, his pulse beating low and steady.

You knew that words would steal the moment away.

As his fingers traced your skin, the heat in your chest grew. It was normal. It was beautiful. And it was yours. So you held his hand right back.

When his forehead met yours, you knew you were done for. The storm completely faded from your mind. Noses touched and breaths fell into sync, but your heartbeat was loud in your ears. All you could think about was the feeling of his lips brushing yours. You couldn’t remember when your eyes closed. The last thing you felt was Petunia nudging your foot at the end of the bed, and then you fell asleep in Luke’s arms.

The kiss was nothing but a dream.

You were allowed back on the island three days later. Unsaid things invaded your mind on the ride down the coast, but you couldn’t bring it upon yourself to say a word. Luke was busy humming along to every song that came on the radio. That was all you needed to hear.

Pelican Perch road was covered with leaves and natural debris, but the homes were well intact. As the car neared the end of the street, you caught a glimpse of your windsock swaying in the breeze. It was a miracle it hadn’t blown away.

Luke helped you with your bags in silence, a small exchange of smiles and brushing hands to fill in the empty space instead. This wasn’t how you wanted it to be. Yet, you never said anything.

Once the night crept in, you could no longer distract yourself with streaming movies through overused cellular data. The power was still out on the island. Everything in your fridge had gone bad, and your phone was near death by ten o’clock. And the winds, despite the long-gone storm, carried on.

You slipped on a pair of flip-flops—never mind the wet, sandy dirt caked around the edges—and walked over to Luke’s. The bugs were especially loud that night. There were no lights to guide you, no way of knowing where you were stepping, and then something hit you. Someone.

“Jesus,” he muttered, gripping your elbow to balance you.

“Luke?”

“It’s me.”

You set your hand on his arm just to feel him. His hold on you never left. “What’re you doing out here?”

“Well—” His hand slipped down to your wrist as he chuckled. Beautiful. “Comin’ to find you, I guess. You okay?”

“I’ve got a hankering for ice cream, but it’s all melted,” you said. “But I don’t suppose your freezer is working anyway. I just didn’t wanna be alone.”

“Me either, darling.”

“Darling. That’s nice.”

“Yeah?”

“I like it.”

He stepped closer to you, slow hands finding yours.

“Coming to find me, huh?” you asked.

Luke hummed and set his forehead on yours. Now, you didn’t know what to say. You figured it was best to not say anything at all. You leaned into the kiss and allowed his lips to mold against yours. Every moment you were apart was replaced with another kiss, excelling in desperation and satisfying any need through its touch. It was heavenly and full of heat and desire.

He cupped your cheek, pressing himself closer to you as he deepened the kiss one last time. You were breathless and cold without him near.

“I still owe you cupcakes, don’t I?” he asked quietly. You could see his smile through the night.

“At least two dozen by now.”

His chuckle filled your heart with warmth. “Anything for you, love. Would you like to come inside?”

You tightened your grip in his hand. “Gladly.”

—

hey! thanks for reading! since i haven’t been in the game for a while, i’m gonna tag a few ppl, if that’s ok! @goth5sos @irwinkitten @sublimehood​ @softforcal​ @cxddlyash​ @wildflowergrae​ hi y’all <3 

#5sos #5sos imagine #5sos fanfiction #5sos imagines #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5sos au #5 seconds of summer au #luke hemmings #my writing #luke hemmings fanfiction #luke hemmings imagine #luke x reader #luke hemmings x reader #luke 5sos #5sos writing #luke hemmings au #5sos fanfic

[thepaperpanda]

~WHEN THE PARTICLE OF GOD PERMEATES YOU~ || Part II

P̵̪̃ȁ̸̩ȓ̸̜ẗ̶͇́ ̴̓͜1̷̺̽

Summary: Without the past you can't understand the present. You meet Higgs Monaghan on your way. Will he help you find out about your past or will he try to use you for his own purposes?

Warnings: None

Words: 3299

Authors: Cass & Rouge

Days had been passing, and the situation remained unchanged.

You were lurking throughout the camp trying to be as productive as it was only possible, however you didn't have many occasions to help in anything as the others were pushing you aside. You weren't surprised though; you were a newcomer, without a purpose or any special skills, and you quickly became Higgs' favourite, which most of his men didn't approve.

Sometimes, it's enough to survive another day, right?, you'd been thinking to yourself.

"Would you look at that? Our little star is doing nothing as always. Why don't you go and be useful? Sucking Higgs off ain't enough here," one of men said grabbing your shoulder. "Why is he even keeping you here?"

Meanwhile Higgs was away, sitting in his bunker. He was trying to come up with some logical theory of how you ended up where you did. How could this happen that you just woken up with no past? “I’ve got breaking news and it’s about you fucking off of me,” you showed your middle finger to the group of men, and in return your gained few chuckles and some more rambunctious comments. When Higgs was gone, they were making a lot of fun of you, always; you hated every minute in the camp without Man in The Golden Mask.

Meantime, Higgs hummed, studding the map and trying to find the place you could come out from. Bridges was the closest point but it made no fucking seans for them to just leave you out there to die.

After a few more minutes Higgs shrugged. "Ah, fuck it. Time to check upon my kittycat." And with that he was back in the camp as he teleported. After stretching his back he called you. "Y/N! Where is my favourite girl hiding?" You were almost outside the camp, sitting at one of the largest rocks, taking notes and sketching the mountains located on the north. You tried to escape from all of the mean glances and comments. “Hey, you,” one of the guards pointed his laser gun at you. “Higgs is seeking  you in the camp. Move your ass to him.” With a loud sigh escaping your lips you closed the sketchbook and pinned your hair in a ponytail. While walking back to the camp, you were thinking about your purpose, it was pretty frustrating that you didn’t remember anything even after such a long period of time.

Higgs waited with hands crossed on his chest. He gave you a wicked smile as soon as he noticed you approaching. “Ah! Here is my lady with no past. I was getting fucking worried you are gone."

“Me? Gone? I have nowhere to go,” you replied to him with disarming honesty. “Good to see you, you’ve been gone for a longer while...,” you hesitated after saying this as you knew he’ll assume you missed him. Thanks Beach he didn’t realize yet it was all true.

"My cute deflowered sweetheart missed me," Higgs chuckled softly with a wide smile, showing the line of white teeth. "I missed you too and I was away, indeed. I’ve been thinking from where you came and I may have an idea."

Hearing his words you tilted your head aside a little. “Tell me?,” you asked.

"Well, my little, sexy kitten might be Bridges' property. Am not sure yet but I sure will find out!," He said loudly and shrugged. "I even have an idea how I will do it."

While you were listening to his words, your thoughts drifted in some unknown way and when you gathered your attention, you gave him a brief nod. “I see.” A deep sigh left your parted lips as you glared up at him. “Hey, I’ve been wondering whether there's something I can do around the camp, I hate how others are making fun of me and the fact that my only purpose here is to warm your cock up,” you rubbed your temples. “I can do anything, bring packages, clean, whatever.”

He chuckled at your question. It was simply stupid. "You are here to be by my side. To be a good girl," Higgs said, gently touching your cheek. "Tell me who bothered you and I will take care of this." A shiver ran along your spine as he touched your cheek; his tenderness was light like a touch of butterfly wings yet his fingers seemed to burn marks on your face. “Forget about it,” you asked him quickly as you dared to put your palm on top of his.

Higgs laughed and grabbed your waist, pulling you as close as possible. "Listen I know you might have a soft heart but it's all about the example. So? Which of those fuckers did it?," He asked again.

You licked your lips and bit the lower one as you got stressed. “If you truly care for me, leave it. I can handle as I don’t care,” you asked him once again while wrapping arms around his chest and nuzzling your head to him.

He squezzed your waist and smiled. "Kitten. You forgot who I am. No one dares to hurt what's mine, even with stupid insults," Higgs summed up and gently pushed you aside to walk to the group of terrorits. He smiled softly looking at others. "Okay! Listen up, fuckers. Which one of you was brave enough to throw stupid words at my girl?"

“Oh my God,” you whispered under your breath as you realized what was happening. You followed him quickly and stood by his side, swallowing hardly while your sight slipped over all the gathered men.

“It was me,” one of them stepped ahead from the group, keeping his head produly up. “Listen, Higgs, we all know that you’re the most powerful of us but it’s fucking rude to be the only one who gets laid and who’s allowed to have a girl around. Most of us don’t like her presence as all she does is lurking around, no purpose, no skills,” the guy continued to speak. “Would be better if you sent her away or killed her. No one needs her around, except you. You’re not better than any of us.”

Higgs hummed listening to the complaints. Then he walked in the line, from left to right with his hands placed behind his back. "If I can be honest. She is more worthy than any of you here but…," he said slowly, rubbing his chin, "But you, bastards, you all are fucking lucky. IT'S YOUR LUCKY FUCKING DAY! Because instead of killing you all and leaving your bodies at Bridges doorsteps, I will fix what you all are complaining about," Higgs announced and looked at you.

You frowned a little at his words.

“So? Will you send her away?,” the man asked, his eyes and you.

Higgs wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling your tightly to his side.

"Oh, Y/N, Y/N... You see, these men here are mad at me because I gave you no duties," he let out a loud sigh, petting your hair. "So, from now on, this lovely lady here is my second in command! You insult her - you insult me and trust me fellas, you don't wanna do that. Thank you for the attention, get back to your fucking duties!," Higgs snorted at the men, kissing your cheek, and then walked away like nothing ever happened.

You almost fainted when he claimed you for his deputy. You felt the piercing glances of his men on you and you already knew it would bring even more troubles. After a second of thinking, you ran after him. “Higgs, I don’t think it’s a good idea, I have like… I mean… I’m not as charismatic as you, I can’t command people,” you tugged on his sleeve to stop him from walking. “They already hate me, now it will escalate,” you shook your head. “Let’s face the truth, I’m no one, I have no idea how to… You know.”

Higgs effortlessly picked you up. "If they will, then they will meet the friendly BTs. You are working with me now. Don't worry, I will handle everything."

To support yourself from falling, you instinctively wrapped legs around his hips and nuzzled to his chest. “Thank you, Higgs. You’re doing so much to me when I did so less in return. I have no idea how some people can call you a terrorist or a bad guy. I wish they could spend at least one day around you and I bet they’d agree with me on the fact you’re not only a great, fearless leader but also a charming, caring man.”

Higgs laughed. "I nuked two towns. I want to end the fucking world. No one else but you would like me, dear," he summed up before placing a soft kiss to your rosy lips.

When the evening came, Higgs was positive about his idea. He had to get into Bridges place and dig through their documents. If you’ve ever been one of them, your documents should be there.

"How do I look, my sexy second in command?," Higgs asked, presenting himself wrapped in an old Bridges uniform. "Let's not foeget about the fucking crown," he joked putting the Bridges hat on.

You two were in Higgs' tent. You were laying on your side on his cot resting head on your hand. "You look fucking handsome, as always," you informed him. "This uniform hugs your ass nicely though," you didn't stop yourself from adding. "Are you sure you won't be to assist you? I'm going to be sad while you'll be gone," you slowly sat on the cot.

" I will do it myself. This can't be hard, there is only one lady as sweet as you. I will find it quickly and before you’ll count to ten - I am going to be fucking back," Higgs said improving the belt. "After that, I will fuck you so hard that the whole camp will hear the second in commend screaming under the leader."

A soft chuckle of yours escaped your mouth as the reaction for his statement. "After your return, I'll just take care of you, make sure you eat and drink and later we will cuddle," you told him while getting up. "And if you'll be a good boy, I'll think of a prize." You walked to him and wrapped your arms around him. "Promise me you'll be careful and won't let them catch you."

 "Sweetheart. I feel so fucking hurt right now! I thought you have more faith in me," Higgs chuckled and squeezed your cheek playfully. "Don't make your sweet little face worried about it. They will never get me."

When he vanished you circled his tent a few times before taking a seat in the corner, just like you did the first day when he found you in the cave.

Getting inside was a child's play. Who would mind a porter wandering the corridors? Of course fucking no one.

The archives were a mix of papers and computer data. Going through the second thing was easy, yet your face didn't flash on any document, and it was fine.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe you weren't Bridges. That would be a fucking relief.

After an hour of digging through papers, Higgs was sitting on the floor with legs crossed. He was reading through one of the folders when the ones he read previously were scattered around him like snow.

The door to the archive slides open and Samuel Bridges stepped in; he had to pick some folders up to deliver them to Lake Knot City. He became suspicious when he spotted a mess and folders laying on the floor. As he stepped further into the long room, he found even more documents scattered everywhere. "You. Who are ya and what are ya doing here?," He asked, his tone cold as he spotted a man sitting in the middle of the room.

Higgs didn't raise his eyes until he was done with the folder he was holding in palms, after reading through it he simply threw it over his shoulder.

"Ah! Sammy boy! It's nice to see you again, sorry but I don't have time for a chit chat. I am looking for something," he shrugged, taking another folder into his hands.

 Sam cringed at the sound of the voice, too familiar. It couldn’t be a coincidence. "Higgs? What the fuck?," He asked in disbelief as he walked closer to the other man. "How did you... Ah, right. You jumped through the Beach," Sam replied himself. "Leave it," he pulled the folder out of Higgs' hands.

"You are a smart boy, ain't ya?," He laughed and in another folder he saw your photo.

"BINGO! Here you are, sweetheart!" Higgs said loudly and jumped back to his feet. "Tell me, Sammy boy, do you know anything about a particular porter? Her name is Y/N?"

Sam blinked, he was getting more confused with every second. "What's your problem, Higgs, have you fallen in love? Ah, right, it's hard to make connections when you don't have a heart," Sam grinned wryly at the other man. "Even if I know, I won't tell you, that's not your business since the day you and the tide has turned. Give it back," Sam yanked the hat off Higgs' head.

Higgs laughed and rolled his eyes, tucking your folder under his suit to make sure Sam won't get it. "Well! To your surprise I fell in love. Just like you. Well! But you’re not in love anymore. I bet that wife of yours was beautiful…," He mocked walking around Sam. "But she was blind for taking a chance on ya."

Sam reacted instantly with aiming his first at Higgs' cheek. "Apologize, you useless fucker, and give me the fucking folder back."

Higgs only laughed at the reaction. "Wife and unborn child. Such a shame, maybe that is why you are so sad and grumpy, and developed this phobia of yours," Higgs laughed playfully. "You know what? I like you, you can keep the cap. I have few from the old, good days. It was nice to see you again, Sammy boi!," Higgs licked the tip of Sam's nose before disappearing.

Sam tried to grab Higgs by his Bridges uniform but he didn't manage. Cursing under his breath he quickly left the archive without picking the folder he came there for; he had to inform Deadman about the situation.

You were dreaming about some crazy ass things like dolphins trying to pull you under water when Higgs returned. You were still sitting in the corner of his tent, knees pulled under your chin, your arms wrapped around them as you were rolled in a ball.

Before entering the tent, Higgs took a brief look at the info about you gathered in the folder he stole. He wasn't sure what to think. After entering the tent he looked at you and chuckled quietly, getting on your level by crouching.  Higgs brushed hair off of your forehead and placed a kiss there. "Ding ding, ding! Honey, I am home. Where is my promised dinner?"

You jolted in place, your muscles twitched and you almost screamed. You opened eyes and for a brief second they were getting used to the light of the lamp. When you saw him crouching next to you, you knelt and wrapped arms around his neck, pulling him into the tight hug. "Higgs! I dreamt they got you! I was so... Scared! You're back! Holy Beach, I was so scared." As you were hugging him he could easily feel the beat of your racing heart, even though your suit. "Let me bring you something. I tried to get you pizza but... I failed."

Higgs hugged you tightly, holding you with both arms. "Well, maybe it's because you slept on the floor. I didn't get these fancy pillows and blankets for nothing," he chuckled, rubbing your back. "It's okay, sugar. I will make Sam deliver us some. Look what I got," he said proudly, showing you the folder.

You shivered. "Is this... Is this mine?," You asked him as you sat on the floor. "Who am I then?," You made puppy eyes and looked right into his.

"You are a porter apparently. Ex now, technically. Good one," Higgs summed up. “Y/N. Working for Bridges for 5 years. Fast and careful with her deliveries, open for contacts with clients as well as fellow porters. Went missing in action. Y/N delivered the assigned package yet never made it back to any of the existing facilities. There were no voidouts that could mean her death. No body nor evidences were ever found. Investigation in that case brought nothing, so Y/N is presumed dead but there's still a slight chance of her being still alive. Signed by: Director Die-Hardman," Higgs ended reading the last note in your folder.

You nodded. "So... They're not looking for me... So, in this situation... I can be whoever I want because I think they wouldn't let me get back..."

"It's not that you are kicked out. I bet that as soon as you would get to any of their places, they would take care of you. They think you are dead but with a possibility of return," he explained. "Y/N? I need to ask you something."

You looked at him like a kid would look at the parent. "Yes?"

"Is this a hoax? I walked into Bridges without problem and then? I get fucking Sam Bridges into the archive. My people were doing their job and you come out of nowhere. You don't know who you are yet you cling to me so suddenly," he said with a frown. "Is this a trap? Did they send you to get inside? To get to me?"

You lowered your head. "Even if they did, I don't remember. I told you many times, I have no idea how I found myself outside, all alone, only with a backpack. I'm clingy because... I...," You started blushing so you got up to take a seat on his cot. "You showed me affection, you offered me your generosity, hospitality... You were kind when no one else was. You took care of me and kinda taught me how to survive in this shit."

Higgs joined you on the coat. "You promise me that the note, and your lack of memory isn't just a way to get to me?"

"I cross my heart," you assured him with a serious tone. "I don't care what you have done and why do they want to get to you but God's my witness I won't tell anyone about you." The fact he even could think about you being a spy hurt you much but you kept a straight face.

"I am sorry for accusing you for anything," Higgs whispered into your ear before pulling you on his lap. “Ya know, gotta be careful about some certain things.”

You nuzzled to the crook of his neck. "It's okay, I understand, I would be suspicious too if I were you."

Higgs smiled, playing with your hair. "My little porter," he said with a smile. "Only mine."

You inhaled his scent, the sweet mix of a masculine musk and warmth of his skin. You placed a kiss to his bearded cheek and brushed your against his shortly after. Your arms wrapped around his chest. "Thank you for all you've done to me, for keeping me safe."

"And I will keep on keeping you safe. Not a single fucking Bridges will ever lie a finger on you again. You will stay with me till the end of the world we know," Higgs said, squeezing you tightly.

A sad sigh escaped your lips. "Till the end."

#higgs monaghan #higgs monaghan x reader #higgs monaghan fic #death stranding #higgs monaghan fiction #death stranding fic #homo demens #reader insert #writers on tumblr #man in the golden mask #the particle of god that permeates all existence