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scarlett-vixen · 14 days

Text

Shattered

A/n: Here it issss the final part of the series. I can't believe I started Vicious two years ago...and that it took me 18 months to finish the last chapter akfdjjfd anyway thank you guys for all the love and support!! I hope the wait was worth it mwah Summary: Your year in the Devildom has come to an end finally. Before you head home though, there’s one loose end that needs to be tied up, and he gives you the perfect opportunity to do so. You’ve stood up to the Avatar of Pride a few times now but things are different now that you have a pact with each of his brothers…and him as well.

Word count: 11.5k

Warnings: Language, alcohol, suggestive but not NSFW

The Fight: Vicious

The Apologies: Beelzebub, Satan, Mammon, Asmodeus, Leviathan

“To the Devils who tried to keep me living like a prisoner”

Hours ago, the sound of plates being set, the smell of dinner still cooking, and the warm feeling of a family getting along filled the massive dining hall and seeped out into the hallways, drawing the last few missing members in. Moments ago, the sound of pure rage, looks of terror partnered with teary eyes, and the cold feeling of dread and guilt swelled inside the dining hall making it nearly impossible to breathe. Now, the dining hall was void of nearly all sound.

Seven dinner plates sat unfinished, left behind and forgotten in the evacuation. Four chairs stood crooked from their usual places as their occupants had hastily left, two chairs laid on their side in pitiful form as their occupants had fled the scene in full force, one chair laid on its back far from the table almost lost from its counterparts. The force with which it was knocked back could still be felt in the air, a rage that was thick and unsettling, even though the one responsible had been the first to abandon the dinner. The last chair at the enormous oak table sat upright in its typical spot with its usual resident still seated and soaking in the aftermath, alone at the table and trying to process what exactly just happened.

“I’ve busted my ass!...I’ve jumped through every hoop!...I did my best! SO WHERE WERE YOU?”

Lucifer’s fist slammed against the table causing the plates to jump in fear, the glasses rocked anxiously, the liquid inside them threatening to spill but seeming to know better in this situation.

How dare you?

How dare you raise your voice with him? How dare you accuse him of not caring about the exchange program by letting you be in danger? Where exactly did you get off throwing around such powerful questions and accusations? And towards him of all demons??

He knew the answer to all those questions though. Yes, you were the exchange student that Diavolo was so proud and fond of, but you had become so much more than that.

You were the one who had managed to break down every wall his brothers had put up.

“I did my best to get along with your brothers and help them with their problems!”

Lucifer rose and began clearing off the abandoned dinner table. You were the one who managed to free Belphegor from the attic despite the magic placed on the door and stairwell.

“And as a thank you for all that I did.”

You were the one who tested him at every turn, never backing down and standing your ground even when faced with possible death.

“You think you have all humans figured out, don’t you?”

You were a pain in his ass.

“You don’t know a damn thing about me.”

You were the reason he started to understand why Lilith had done what she did.

“I TRUSTED YOU!”

The sound of glass shattering jolted Lucifer out of the trance he had been in. While removing a wine glass from the table, the first born caught a glimpse of himself in the large mirror that was hung on the back wall. Looking at himself and wondering how the hell he had let this all happen, how such a noble demon had slipped up so badly, your words echoed in his head and the glass fell from his hand like the final leaf on a tree before winter sets in.

Lucifer stared down at the shattered glass that was scattered at his feet. You always seemed to attract trouble wherever you went, perhaps that was just how it was for a human in the Devildom--- Devil knows Solomon seemed to be a disaster beacon when he visited--- but regardless of whether you went looking for trouble or it just had a way of finding you, Diavolo had placed you in the care of the six (now seven) brothers and at the end of the day it was Lucifer’s job to ensure your safety and clean up the mess left behind.

But this time he failed the first part, so now he was left to pick up the pieces he was responsible for breaking.

******

The next morning had been even more unusual than Lucifer had expected. With a cautious gaze he watched as you commanded the youngest brother to follow you out of the house and, to his complete surprise, watched as Belphie instantly jumped up to follow after. Something strange was going on. Twelve hours ago, you were red in the face and looked ready to jump across the table to rip Belphegor to shreds, now you were ordering him to follow you around. Clearly a change in dynamics had occurred, but Lucifer was unsure of how to feel about the sudden shift. Normally he would demand an explanation before you had a chance to leave the house, but the wave of guilt was still pulling at him from last night, on top of that the first born knew that both you and his youngest brother would both be in very sensitive states. For now, he would wait and see if he could put the pieces together himself.

All morning Lucifer found himself rather distracted from his daily tasks, thinking of where you might be and if Belphegor was also with you, what exactly had happened between you two in such a short time. Eventually he found himself watching you two from the second floor of Hexes Hall, standing in an empty classroom with a window that looked out over the courtyard where various demons and succubi were having lunch. Seated at a table towards the side was the odd pair that had captured plenty of attention today from numerous students yet somehow (thankfully) had stayed out of the gaze of any higher ups.

Typically, Lucifer could ask Mammon what was going on because, aside from knowing better than to lie when directly confronted, he seemed to be an open book when it came to you. In fact, there had been times that Mammon had gone to Lucifer questioning if you would be safe in certain situations and would even give subtle hints that the two of you may end up in trouble later. Not to say his brother was trying to narc on you, far from it rather, it was more that when it came to you Mammon was always more concerned about your safety than anything else. So if anyone would know about you being in potential danger, it would be him. However, the second born was not in attendance today which left Lucifer with no good source of intel on you. There was always Barbatos but that would most certainly prompt questions from Lord Diavolo and that was the last thing Lucifer needed right now.

A familiar voice echoed out in the hallway, Lucifer glided towards the door and waited for the demon to pass by before calling his name.

“Beelzebub.” The sixth born froze in the hall at the sound of his name. Slowly, he turned to face his older brother and Lucifer noticed an odd look on his face. One of shame and sorrow rather than his normal stoic yet happy expression.

“Is something wrong Lucifer?” he asked, shifting his bag slightly on his shoulder.

“I need to speak with you,” the first born started to turn back into the room but caught sight of the two demons who had been walking with his brother. “Alone.”

Lucifer gestured into the classroom and Beelzebub reluctantly followed after waving off the other two demons he had been with. Once inside Lucifer closed the door to prevent any wandering ears from lingering.

“I want to know what’s going on between them.” Per usual Lucifer’s words came across more as a direct order than a question.

“Between who?” Beelzebub had a look of genuine confusion on his face.

“Between your twin and our exchange student. The two who were just as each other’s throats last night but now seem joined at the hip.” Lucifer’s gaze was as cold and stern as always but this time it hurt Beelzebub more given the circumstances.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Beelzebub something has clearly happened and I want to know why they’re suddenly letting him be so close!”

“Nothing happened! I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Lucifer knew when each of his brothers was lying, they all had a tell, unfortunately for Beel his was total avoidance of eye contact. The sixth born knew something and Lucifer knew his brother wasn’t going to give that information up easily, not when he was protecting one of you. So instead, he would have to play dirty.

“Really? You have no idea what’s going on between them?” Lucifer gave an unamused scoff and walked back toward the window where he had stood before. “I’m not the only one who has noticed the change Beelzebub, seems to me that half the academy has taken notice.”

The sixth born seemed to move against his will toward the window, looking out to see you and Belphegor talking down below. His body flinched; Lucifer could tell he was uneasy.

“It won’t be long before this reaches Lord Diavolo’s attention…and I would hate to think what would become of Belphegor if it was discovered that ill intent was at play here.”

Beel’s head snapped toward Lucifer at that last part, his eyes seemed to glow with a hint of rage.

“What exactly does that mean?” He asked with a guarded tone.

“It means nothing…or possibly many things, that all depends on how exactly your twin managed to win over his former enemy.” Lucifer stayed put but shifted his gaze to see his younger brother from the corner of his eye. He could see the frustration on Beel’s face and knew it wouldn’t be long before he spilled everything he knew…or so he thought.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at Lucifer…and I don’t know what happened between them but I DO know that I won’t let you accuse Belphie of using some dark magic or evil power to get on MC’s good side! He’s not like that!”

“Oh please, the same demon who started all of this? You really think he wouldn’t stoop to that level Beelzebub?” Lucifer now turned to face his brother.

“No… I know he wouldn’t! Belphie fucked up but you can’t accuse him of every mistake for the rest of his life, that’s not fair!”

“This isn’t about fair Beel, this is about figuring out why he was forgiven so quickly!” Both their voices were starting to rise in anger.

“So you just assume he did something bad? Maybe they talked it out! I don’t know what happened but I’m done discussing this with you, you want answers go ask them yourself, but don’t come to me with accusations about Belphie anymore!” Beel took one step toward Lucifer, feeling his aura wanting to change, his wings and horns trying to emerge and his fangs trying to push through. No. Not this time, he had caused enough problems letting his rage blind him before, he had almost killed you by doing that. Instead Beel turned on his heel and headed out of the room, opening the door he stopped and glanced over his shoulder at Lucifer once more.

“He’s your brother too you know… not just my twin.” With that Beel slammed the door shut behind him. Lucifer wanted to be mad but he knew this was all his doing, what had he truly expected to come from that? The eldest knew he needed to correct things so he hurried toward the door and called after his brother.

“Beel! BEELZEBUB!” The sixth born kept walking, until finally he was out of sight.

“Damnit..” Lucifer muttered. One more piece to pick up later.

“Well Lucifer…are you proud of yourself?”

The first born tensed up, immediately upon hearing the voice a headache started to form in the front of Lucifer’s mind. He had been wrong earlier; this was the last thing he needed. He didn’t need to turn to know who he had the displeasure of being in the presence of, yet he did, and instantly regretted it. There, leaned against the lockers, stood that damn sorcerer with the same shit eating grin on his face he always had when he managed to catch Lucifer with his guard down. If he wasn’t a necessary part of Diavolo’s program, Lucifer swore he would have destroyed this stain on humanity long ago.

“What is it Solomon, here to shamelessly beg for another pact?” Lucifer smirked, trying his best not to show his total irritation.

“Would that actually work?” Solomon suddenly had a look of awe in his eyes as if Lucifer had just offered to give him a pact as well as let him move into the HoL. “I’ll start begging right now if that’s all it takes Lucifer, on my knees and everything!”

Lucifer sneered as the sorcerer pretended to beg for a moment. Then through gritted teeth spoke again.

“What do you want.”

“Nothing really,” Solomon gave a light chuckle “it’s just come to my attention that there’s some…tension between residence of the House of Lamentation.”

A sly grin appeared on Solomon’s face, one that Lucifer knew meant the sorcerer knew more than he was letting on. For a moment he wondered if you had gone to him, seeking the comfort of another human after the fallout of last nights dinner, the thought made Lucifer sick to his stomach, but only for a moment until he realized the more likely answer.

“What exactly did Asmodeus tell you.” His voice was much sterner than he ever used with his brothers, even during more recent events. This was a family matter, one that he was already trying to figure out how to resolve quickly, he didn’t need Solomon sticking his nose into things.

“Why? Worried that your brother told me something I shouldn’t know?” the sorcerer teased; knowing better than to go too much further with it. The look of irritation in Lucifer’s eyes was growing more apparent and, as much as Solomon wanted to see just how far he could push the Avatar of Pride before causing him to make a scene, he didn’t want to ruin his already slim chances of ever getting that pact. “No need to fret,” he offered a smile as if to say he was backing down. “Asmo was so worked up that all I really got out of him was that something happened last night at dinner, other than that I have noticed the…unusual relationship that seems to have blossomed between Belphie and our little exchange student, then there’s the way Beel just stormed out of that room with you calling after which I’ll assume means the two of you had a not so enjoyable conversation. Care to enlighten me?”

“Firstly, the conversation I had with Beelzebub is none of your concern, nor is what occurred last night at dinner. That being said, I would advise you to leave Asmodeus alone regarding the matter, you of all people know how he can be when his emotions run high.” Lucifer could feel his temper rising, he never cared much for Solomon and always wondered if his disdain for the shady wizard hadn’t pushed his brother further into his arms. And why did he suddenly seem to care about your relationships with his brothers, Lucifer was confident that his younger brother could handle himself if Solomon ever tried to pull something on him, but he’d be damned if he was going to let Solomon try to go after you. “Secondly, they are not your anything. They are Lord Diavolo’s exchange student and my responsibility, as for their relationship with Belphie… that doesn’t seem to be any of your business either.”

“Of course, how silly of me to think the mighty Lucifer would need any help or advice from a human such as myself in this matter.” Solomon teased once more before continuing on his way down the hall, stopping to turn around and speak one last time. “If you do find yourself in need of help, do reach out to me! There’s no need to be shy Lucifer.”

“You’ll be the first to know.” The first born growled in response. Solomon gave another sly smirk before disappearing down the corridor. Lucifer stood for a moment trying to compose himself after the argument with Beelzebub and that unwanted interaction with Solomon just now, his pride wanted to confront you and force an explanation out of you, for both the dinner and what had transpired with Belphie last night.

Over the last several months Lucifer had watched you from afar, observing your interactions with his brothers, the relationships you had formed, the way they seemed happier and more relaxed with you around. More importantly he had watched how his brothers personalities had developed more into their own and less of just what their sin made them out to be.

The way that Mammon seemed to care less about his schemes and profits when he could spend time with you instead, how Leviathan was more willing to join group outings without complaining about how everyone else seemed to be having more fun when you were with them, and how Satan seemed to find a way to calm himself to prevent an outburst if you were next to him. He noticed how you managed to captivate and hold Asmodeus’s attention even with a mirror in the room, the way Beelzebub’s appetite seemed easier to satiate when you cooked, and even though he had only rejoined the group for a few weeks Lucifer noticed how Belphegor appeared less tired and more engage when you were involved in the situation.

Avatar of Pride came with many setbacks, the main one being the inability to express his feelings in an appropriate manner. It wasn’t that Lucifer was as cold and closed off as his brothers and other demons perceived him, it was that his sin, his pride, kept him from saying the things he truly wanted to. This wasn’t a new predicament for him though, even as an angel Lucifer had struggled with showing his love and appreciation, it had only worsened since being saddled with the sin of pride. The truth was that he had envied his brothers for being so close to you, more than anything he wanted to be like them, to be able to let his walls down and talk to you like everybody else. He wanted whatever bond it was his brothers had with you that would quell his pride and give him the chance to freely interact with you.

Maybe it was his desire to not be so controlled by his sin, or perhaps it was the guilt still eating at him. Whatever the reason was, Lucifer started down the hall but instead of barging into the courtyard for answers he retreated to Diavolo’s office. He chose to focus on his tasks and let you mend you bonds with his brothers in peace, well aware that eventually the time would come for him to have his own confrontation, but for now he would sit back and observe.

Just like he had for the last seven months.

******

“Mammon! Ugh, you suck so bad! How did you even die right there?” Leviathan groaned while waving his controller around wildly in a desperate attempt to still complete the level.

“Don’t ask me! How do you jump in this game anyway?!” Mammon barked, aggressively spamming the B button.

“The A button! It’s always the A button!!” Levi scolded.

The two of them had been bickering for the last hour while playing Levi’s newest game, although they sounded irritated with each other you could tell they were enjoying the game immensely. You couldn’t help but laugh as Mammon died yet again and Levi went into full dramatics over it. On the bed behind you Satan was busy giving an educational lecture about…something, while Asmo, Beel and Belphie listened. You honestly had no idea what they were talking about but seeing them all together and getting along made you happy.

You had made amends with the brothers, explaining why you were so hurt by their actions and finally getting apologies from them, Belphie had learned his position and had become your obedient servant as it were. Everyone was getting along, the previous tension was long gone, you were thrilled to have everything back to normal and be on speaking terms with all the brothers once more.

Well…all but one.

Ever since the fatal night, there had been one demon who seemed to successfully avoid you at every turn. Sure, you saw him at breakfast and dinner but that was clearly just to keep good face with his brothers, his way of not letting them know that the two of you had not spoken since the blowout. He always managed to finish his breakfast shortly after you joined but never soon enough to be noticed by his brothers, the only time you saw him at RAD was in passing between classes and typically he was always talking with Diavolo or some random professor, once dinner was over he would manage to lock himself away in his bedroom or study for the evening only to reappear at breakfast and start the cycle again. There were a hand full of occasions where the eight of you had gone out as a group, a few joined by the angels and Solomon, but even then he kept his interactions with you short.

You knew the main reason for this was because of Lucifer’s sin, it would be shameful for a powerful demon such as him to admit defeat or show weakness to a mere human such as yourself you were sure, but Lucifer seemed to have forgotten that you were stubborn and prideful yourself. You refused to be the one to crack, to go to him and seek an end to this ridiculous feud, you would wait until he managed to swallow that damn pride and approach you.

Apparently, Lucifer wasn’t very good at swallowing.

Tonight was your final night in the Devildom and that old man had yet to apologize for everything he put you through this year, all the dumb tasks you had to do, the never-ending events to support RAD, the various balls and dinners you had attended, not to mention the three accounts of murder he had attempted towards you. The thought of you returning home without Lucifer being held accountable for all the shit you went through was more than irritating, you considered confronting him tomorrow in front of Diavolo mainly so you could see the horror on his face as you tore into him in front of his precious prince, but you really didn’t want a repeat of That Night. You looked around at the six brothers, all deeply absorbed in whatever they were doing, and decided to go for a walk.

You got up from your spot on the bed and headed towards the door leading downstairs, only to catch the attention of your loyal servant.

“Where are you going?” Belphie sat up on the bed and looked at you the way a dog watching its owner leave for work would. You could tell he wanted to get up and follow but was waiting for your orders to do so, you were proud of how well you had trained him in the last few months and almost felt bad leaving him behind tomorrow.

“I’m just getting a drink!” You gave a reassuring smile in an attempt to keep him from wanting to follow and it seemed to work. Belphie sank back onto the bed before answering.

“Alright…don’t take too long.” You could tell he was forlorn.

You headed downstairs and only felt a little bad about lying to Belphie, technically it was only a half lie which is why you only felt a little bad. Sure, you were going to grab a drink from the kitchen, but you were going for something else.

You were getting that damn apology.

As you approached the bottom of the stairs you heard a faint melody coming from somewhere down the hall, recognizing it as a record playing you decided your drink could wait and followed the sound towards your potential prey. The soft symphony led you to Lucifer’s study, you lingered for a moment wondering if he was actually in there or if he was just throwing you off his tracks, after a moment you knocked on the thick wooden door. Twelve months ago you would have been terrified to confront Lucifer, the first born demon lord, Avatar of pride, but as you stood in front of his door there was no fear in you.

Only determination.

“It’s open” the familiar stoic voice stated from inside.

Opening the study door, you found Lucifer standing at the bar on the right side of the room, the heavy jacket he normally wore missing from his shoulders and instead neatly placed on the back of the large chair behind his desk, an elegant, bejeweled chalice in his hand as he poured himself a glass of Demonus. You carefully closed the door behind you while still facing the demon across the room, stealthily you reached your hand behind your back and quietly locked the deadbolt, you didn’t want any sudden interruptions tonight.

“I thought you were upstairs with the others enjoying your final evening here.” Lucifer spoke as he set the Demonus bottle on the bar and replaced the cork.

“I was, but I got thirsty… Beel went through all the drinks upstairs so I was on my way to the kitchen.” You slowly moved further into the room, making your way toward the lounge chairs in front of the fireplace.

“Well, you’re welcome to join me since you’re here,” Lucifer held out a second gorgeous chalice, decorated slightly different but obvious that it belonged in the same set as his. You took the chalice from him and he made his way over to a chair, you perused your options at the bar but settled on Demonus, it didn’t get you drunk but had a wonderful taste, it was probably best you didn’t end up intoxicated during this anyway. “That noise up there gives me the perfect opportunity to listen to my records in peace down here, so I guess I should thank you for whatever you did to lure them all up there.”

Lure them?? Why did he have to make you sound like a monster waiting to devour his brothers? Whatever. You let it go and tried to focus on the task at hand, admittedly there was something…primal that you had felt when confronting a few of his brothers recently so maybe he wasn’t completely in the wrong. Regardless, you decided to play nice for now.

“What are we listening to anyway?” You could feel his gaze on you as you poured your drink, you couldn’t place it but something about his behavior seemed a little off.

“The cursed vinyl edition of The Tale of the Seven Lords, the one you managed to acquire from Leviathan for me.” The usual stern matter-of-fact tone of his was missing, in its place was an unfamiliar, friendlier one.

“Don’t people say you’ll die if you listen to it?” You placed the cork back in the Demonus bottle and turned to take your seat. Doing so you caught Lucifer looking at you in a way that was new to you, though it didn’t last long as he quickly turned his sight away and down to his glass when he realized you were looking at him.

“I see you haven’t forgotten the story behind it,” he gave a soft chuckle but rather than his usual mocking one, this was much more amused. “It’s true that all humans involved with its creation died mysterious deaths, but that was nothing more than coincidence.”

You took your seat in the chair adjacent to his, making yourself comfortable before he continued. As you did you got your first good look of the evening at the first born. He wore his usual vest and dress shirt combo but his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows giving you sight of his forearms which were much larger than you remembered, his gloves were also gone, discarded somewhere else in the room (on his desk you assumed) letting you see his hands which were a rare sight to see in general, but tonight they were adorned with three different rings. A thick silver band on the index finger of his left hand with something inscribed on the side, a small golden ring on the pinky of his right hand that was greatly overshadowed by the massive ring on his index of the same hand. An onyx-black band with two thin gold lines that curved up into what looked almost like two small claws holding the largest ruby you had ever seen. Drawing your eyes away from his hands you noticed his usual red tie was missing and the top two buttons on his shirt were undone, his hair was a messier than the prideful demon normally kept it, and upon closer inspection you found his cheeks to be dusted a light pink. You immediately realized why his demeanor seemed off and couldn’t help but smirk.

The asshole was drunk.

“Besides, even if this vinyl were truly cursed, look who you’ve got by your side. You’re talking to one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom. There’s not much to worry about now is there?” a not-so-subtle brag by the not-so-sober demon. You wanted to tease him, maybe even make fun of him a bit, for letting you see him like this. Obviously this wasn’t the first time Lucifer had drunk around you, it was, however, the first time you had smelt this cologne on him. You held your tongue and took a sip of your drink, buying you time to think of a response that wasn’t a snarky or smartass joke at his expense.

“I suppose you’re right.” You finally settled on.

“You know, it was in this very room that I selected you for our exchange program.”

Oh, here we go.

You rolled your eyes and took another swig of your drink, suddenly wishing humans weren’t immune to Demonus. Lucifer swirled his glass gently before going on, his eyes locked on the fireplace in front of you.

“When I first welcomed you here…I was only doing it for Diavolo.”

Your gaze snapped in his direction, if looks could kill he would be taking his last breath. Was he seriously about to start a fight with you, in his current state? Maybe he had to be drunk in order work up the nerve to finish you off.

“I figured that if you managed to survive a year here without any incidents…that was all I could really ask for. And even if things didn’t go as planned, as long as I could prevent you from getting eaten by any of the lower-level demons, everything would be alright.”

“Oh, but trying to kill me yourself was perfectly valid?” You muttered under your breath a little louder than intended, thankfully Lucifer was too lost in the flames dancing before him to hear you.

“That’s really what I thought…but somehow I managed to choose a human who’s such a magnet for trouble it almost defies belief.” Lucifer scoffed and shifted his gaze to his drink. “There were times I thought I’d made a mistake choosing you.”

You felt the familiar warmth of your rage starting to dance across your skin, you wanted to snap, to tell him off right here and now, but you were waiting for the perfect moment. This wasn’t it.

“I’m sorry for being such a burden.” You practically hissed. You were doing your best to hold your temper but Lucifer’s arrogance still managed to shine through even when drunk.

“It’s far too late to be trying to suck up to me with apologies, you know?”

Arrogant ass.

“Also, there’s no need…things are different now. I made the right choice choosing you, after all you’ve kept me quite entertained this past year.”

Entertained? You entertained him?? You didn’t really consider being forced to choose between protecting Beel or Luke entertaining, nor being attacked by Lucifer. Nearly being crushed to death while dancing with him at the Demon Lord’s Castle all because he was ensuring you understood he would destroy you if you harmed his brothers wasn’t a joy ride either. Let’s not forget the time the brothers trapped the two of you in a fake game and Lucifer almost killed you when you revealed you had met Belphie to him, that had gone in the opposite direction of entertaining. You remembered all the snide comments as well, the reminders that you were just a human and here as a part of the exchange program, that if Diavolo’s plans failed because of you--- you bit your tongue to stop the words from flying out of your mouth.

“Glad I could be of service.” You managed.

“So then,” He seemed to shake himself off before looking back at you finally. “have you done all that you set out to do here in the Devildom? No unfinished business?”

You started to demand your apology when the tingle of Satan’s pact mark sparked something in your mind.

“Actually Lucifer, I still haven’t made a pact with you. I think that’s the last thing on my list” You took a slow sip and watched the eyes of the first born go wide only briefly before slowly tilting his head in curiosity.

“A pact?” His voice suddenly much deeper than before; it caused a jolt to run up your spine. “I see, you’ve made a pact with all of my brothers…which just leaves me.” A wicked grin tugged at his lips. “Do you really want a pact with me?”

You could feel the steady beat of your heart in your chest, your mind suddenly fuzzy and your rage now mixed with a different feeling. His demeanor had changed again, still obviously drunk but now you had his full attention, his eyes locked on you and awaiting your response. While scrambling to sort out your thoughts you made a connection that you had missed before, the rolled-up sleeves, the unbuttoned shirt, the intoxicating cologne, the beautiful rings, the gorgeous glasses, the vinyl record still playing in the background…the Demonus. Lucifer hadn’t gotten himself drunk so he could finally kill you off, he had done it so he could make a move.

You suddenly realized what the look in his eyes was, this was all some form of a demon mating ritual, a trap that he lured you into--- lured? Damnit! He wanted you down here, he wanted you to ask for a pact, when you did you triggered something in him and now you suddenly felt like the prey. On top of this horrifying discovery, you also identified what the odd feeling was.

Along with Satan’s pact mark, that was still simmering on your skin, Asmo’s pact mark was also starting to tingle. You felt like throwing up for a moment, what the hell was wrong with you?? Admittedly you had always had a thing for Lucifer, he may have been an ass at times but which brother wasn’t? It was never anything serious though, just an innocent crush or at the very least recognizing that he was good-looking for a centuries old demon. So why the hell was this the situation that was turning you on? Yes he was very pretty to look at in the glow of the fireplace, but hadn’t he just insulted you like three times and brought up some sore memories??

“What’s so wrong with that?” You heard your voice say, unable to tell if the question was directed at Lucifer or yourself. All you got in response was an amused huff from the demon who now had you in a slight trance, was this some weird demonic power of his?

“I don’t know how my brothers felt about making a pact with you, but I am more than just another name to be crossed off your list.” Lucifer placed his glass on the table between you, sitting straight up in his chair you realized just how much bigger than you he really was. No comparison to Beel or Diavolo but after spending most of your time with demons like Mammon and Asmodeus, Lucifer’s build was intimidating; especially when you no longer seemed to be in control of the situation. You watched as he rose from his seat and strode over to his desk, lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice the box he had pulled from his jacket.

“I won’t be lumped together with everyone else.” Lucifer turned back toward you, taking his time to walk back over. Without realizing it, you were suddenly standing up, your own glass now resting next to his on the table, and your feet seemed to be moving on their own. Lucifer had stopped moving but you were inching your way to him now as if an invisible rope were pulling you in.

“That won’t do.” You watched as his eyes shifted to the deep red you had seen on those rare unpleasant occasions, the horns on his head seemed to grow effortlessly without messing up his hair, his four jet black wings emerged and expanded as if to make him appear bigger. You were familiar with this part. This was where Lucifer tried to intimidate you, make you afraid and turn tail, or drop to your knees in submission, you were never really sure what he was looking for because you never did any of those things. Instead, you did what you always did in this situation.

You stood your ground.

“You’ve certainly got guts, don’t you? I’ve always found that aspect of you irritating, and yet, as irritating as it is,” Lucifer reached his right hand up and lightly gripped your face. “it’s even more endearing.”

You were almost positive he could hear the pounding of your heart. This all felt overwhelmingly familiar, you preferred the version where you were in charge and held all the cards with Belphie, but no matter what he did next you would never give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

“Listen well little human,” Your eyes locked onto his, his right hand tilted your chin up slightly while his left hand pressed against your back to pull you closer. “I will not be your possession. I won’t belong to you. You will belong to me.”

You felt your body tense momentarily, this didn’t excuse his actions, this wasn’t the apology you wanted, but you didn’t not want this pact. You tried to stay grounded, to keep your mind from flying off into the abyss, to not be completely overpowered by Lucifer’s aura.

“So, what will it be?” His grip on your face loosened and his hand fell away from your back. Something in your mind panicked, it felt abandoned suddenly, it needed his touch again.

“Yes.” You tried not to sound too desperate with that answer. You’d beat yourself up later for turning to putty in his hands, for now you had to focus, you were so close. You saw a genuine smile form on his face this time.

“Good, then it’s done. As of this moment,” Lucifer reached into his pocket and pulled out the box you had missed him pick up before. He opened it and inside was another gorgeous ring, almost identical to the large one he wore, a black band with a beautiful ruby posted in the center, smaller and sleeker than his but just as mesmerizing. He took your hand in his and gently slipped the ring onto your finger, as if by magic, you felt the band slowly start to form to you. “you are mine.”

You were busy inspecting the gaudy ring that now rested on your finger when a familiar burning sensation started, you took in a sharp breath of air as you felt a new pact mark forming on your skin, you had been through this six times already and each one had been less painful. This one, however, felt different, the burn was deeper and hotter than the others, you felt a little dizzy and closed your eyes from the intense pain, a bright blue symbol flashed in your mind as you did. You recognized it as Lucifer’s mark, opening your eyes again you found the first born looking at you with adoring eyes, his sight fixated on the pact mark that was glowing a brilliant blue. The excessive pain made sense now, this was the burn of a new pact mark along with both you and Lucifer feeling intense pride at the same time.

Aside from the overwhelming sense of pride in yourself for managing to pull this stunt off and not make a fool of yourself, something else was growing inside you. Your mind seemed clearer than before, no longer panicked or intoxicated by Lucifer’s power, you remembered the real reason you had come down here. You felt your rage returning but this time it felt intensified, your body felt lighter yet stronger than before, Lucifer no longer registered as a threat to you, there had been another dynamic shift but it wasn’t quite as obvious to the demon tracing your new pact mark.

This was the moment you had been waiting for.

“I agree that you’re different from the others,” you grabbed the wrist of his hand tracing your skin with a force that seemed to catch him off guard. “however, there’s one thing you got wrong.”

You pulled his hand away from your skin, a look of confusion and caution taking over his features. All the pain, all the tears, every insult, every fight, every bad day, every day you woke up scared all came flooding back to you at once. Satan’s mark glowed a beautiful emerald green against your skin while Lucifer’s continued to glow as well, he gave no visual signs but somehow you knew Lucifer was uncomfortable, as if you could sense his fear. Just like the night you had broken Belphie, the fear you sensed was feeding something inside you, filling you with that same confidence.

“It’s true that you’re a very powerful demon Lucifer, you could handle any of your brothers if they ever went rogue and not a break a sweat, really the only demon here that outranks you is Lord Diavolo himself,” You felt his mark tingle on you and knew you were feeding that ego of his. “And I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to have this pact with you now! If I’m honest this is probably the mark I’m happiest to wear!”

Time to destroy it.

“Because that means you answer to me now.” Your voice was soft yet powerful. You narrowed your eyes and felt a grin on your lips, the fear was now apparent on Lucifer’s face, this was too good to be true.

“Over the last year I’ve been through my fair share of shit from you and your brothers, I’ve been the good little human you asked me to be but guess what my love? Even good humans go bad when pushed too far.” Just like before you started taking steps closer without realizing it.

“I’m aware that we put you through a lot, and I know Belphegor’s actions---” a psychotic type of laugh ripped from your throat.

“Oh, this has nothing to do with Belphie. See I’ve had fun little chats with your brothers, I think the most fun one was with Belphie himself the night that I snapped at dinner when he stopped by my room.” You watched Lucifer’s eyes go wide just like earlier, except this time there was a hint of betrayal in them.

“I know you’ve been oh so curious about what happened between him and I that night. Beel told me how you practically cornered him wanting to know what went on. You’re just dying to know how I turned a brat like Belphie into such a good boy who does what he’s told aren’t you?” With every word the look on Lucifer’s face worsened, like you were digging in his chest searching for his heart, and in a way you were.

You wanted him to break, just like Belphie.

“Well, how else would a human corrupt a demon so quickly?” You saw a grimace on the first born’s face, that one struck a nerve. “Don’t worry, I didn’t let him into my bed, he knows his place is on the floor. If you really need to know, he and I had a little… conversation, similar to the one you and I are having now actually. Let’s see if you can unlock a different ending though.” You gave a teasing wink.

“I’m here to discuss the issues you and I have had in the past, nothing to do with your brothers, in fact for the rest of the night let’s just act like they don’t exist shall we?” Lucifer had started to take small steps backward as you closed the gap between the two of you, his pride was trying to keep him in place but you knew it was slowly bowing down to you, you could feel it.

“Let’s talk about how you treated me when I first arrived, back when you were ‘just doing it for Diavolo’ as you put it.”

“That’s not what I---"

“Let’s discuss all the fun and entertaining moments where you tried to attack and kill me.”

“I realize I overreact---”

“Let’s go over how you threatened to kill me if I ever harmed your brothers and the ironic twist of how you let your youngest brother harm me instead!”

“Please, just let me---”

“Let you do what Lucifer? Let you smooth talk your way out of apologizing? Let you convince me that you were just having a hard time controlling your brothers? Let you distract me long enough to call your precious prince so you don’t have to take responsibility for how you behaved?”

“No, I just---”

“You see sweetheart, I just don’t care. I’ve done my part of listening to you for the last twelve months, tonight you’re going to listen to me instead.”

You had unintentionally forced Lucifer to back into the chair he sat in before, the back of his legs made contact with the seat causing him to stumble for a moment before regaining his balance. Similar to Belphie, you could sense his fear, but this time you could sense some pride still running through him as well. What could he possibly still be proud of? Pushing you to your limit? Or did he still have one more trick up his sleeve somehow? “You talk a big game, you know that?” Your eyes narrowed with annoyance and anger. Whatever he was proud of, you’d make sure to squash it. “You spent all that time telling Diavolo how you were happy to assist him and house the new exchange student. You paraded me around to every event and dance Diavolo held. You made me keep my head down so I wouldn’t embarrass the prince and subsequently, you. But it was all an act wasn’t it?”

A look of hurt flashed across the first born’s face. You felt that familiar rage burning deep inside you again, the one that wanted flip the table and throw plates at dinner, this time you just might set it free.

“You never really cared about my safety. You just didn’t want to upset or disappoint that prince of yours. I was an inconvenience to you actually, preventing you from focusing on more important matters, you loathed that Diavolo saddled you with caring for me. Didn’t he know you already had six, well…five brothers to look after?” a devious smirk crept onto your face. “But who were you to protest, hm? After all he saved your precious Lilith.”

The fire inside you flared up as you growled her name. You still didn’t fully believe that you were somehow related to her, it just seemed too convenient, but the brothers sure believed it.

“You only put up with me for her didn’t you? Did learning that we were related make it easier for you to accept my existence? Did you suddenly stop seeing me and pretend you saw her when I walked in the room? Or do you think I somehow am her? Because I’m not!” Your fists clenched by your side. You knew by now Satan was upstairs struggling to keep his composure, not wanting to alert the others that you were pissed off somewhere in the house. “I AM NOTHING LIKE HER!” You felt a sting in your throat and small tears trying to push their way to freedom. “It would’ve been so much easier for you if Belphie had gotten away with it wouldn’t it?? If Mammon hadn’t found him and I had just died! That’s why you didn’t save me ISN’T IT? YOU WANTED ME DEAD? YOU WANTED ME OUT OF YOUR HAIR!?”

“NO!”

His voice strained, the red in his cheeks now sprawled across his face. He jumped slightly after shouting, as if he startled himself with the outburst as well, then collapsed in the chair behind him. You watched his eyes fill with an unfamiliar hurt, his breathing became shaky,his wings went limp, his voice weak as it searched for words to say.

“That’s…that’s not what I wanted…it never was.”

“Then what did you want, Lucifer?” You seethed. A few seconds passed as you watched the once arrogant demon now struggle to find his voice. Your patience was running out. “Enlighten me.”

“I just…I wanted to have the same bond my brothers did…I wanted to be close with you—” Another maniacal laugh from you cut off the end of his sentence.

“And you think the way to do that is to constantly threaten me?? To always remind me that I’m nothing more than just a lowly human?? TO LET YOUR BROTHER KILL ME???” You could almost feel the fire in your eyes, your teeth bared as you did your best to not start swinging your fists.

“NO!”

“And yet you did! You did all of that Lucifer! Plus more! I FUCKING DIED AND YET YOU’VE NEVER ONCE SAID YOU WERE SORRY FOR ANY OF IT!”

“BUT I AM!”

“THEN SAY IT! SAY YOU’RE FUCKING SORRY FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE PUT ME THROUGH!”

“I’M SORRY!! I LOVE YOU AND I’M SORRY!!” Lucifer’s voice cracked as he shouted at the top of his lungs. You were certain that the other six heard the screaming match that just happened all the way in the attic and wondered if they too had caught that middle part in between his apology.

“What?” You weren’t sure if it was because you had been caught off guard by the sudden confession or if his apology had finally satisfied the rage inside you, but your voice dropped back to its normal tone as you looked at Lucifer now sobbing into his hands.

“I’m sorry I was so wretched toward you” The first born looked up at you with pitiful eyes, tears streaming down his now bright red cheeks. “I’m sorry for saying such vile things, for making you feel worthless and alone. I’m sorry for all the times I let my anger get the best of me and nearly killed you. More than anything I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to stop my own brother from ending your life.” He gasped for air in between silent sobs before continuing. “I never understood why Lilith sacrificed everything she had in the Celestial Realm just to spend time with a human, but I realized a while back… that somewhere along the way I fell in love with you, and suddenly it all made sense. Every joke you made with Mammon, every late night spent in Leviathan’s room, every living room fashion show you sat through with Asmodeus, every afternoon in the garden spent with Satan and every meal you made just for Beelzebub… I witnessed it all and I realized…you care for them just as much as I do… and they all worship the ground you walk on. I wanted to be a part of that.”

You felt your rage begin to melt away, the fire burning deep inside faded to a small ember and your stomach flipped as you listened to the prideful demon pour out his true feelings.

“So many times, I wanted to tell you how I felt, to apologize for how I behaved before, to have a chance at forming the bond that would allow me to be happy just like my brothers. But each time I tried, my pride would prevent me from speaking my true intent and instead some condescending remark was made. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there to protect you from him, the flashbacks of watching you fade away in Mammon’s arms keeps me up most nights, I failed both of you that day. And I’m sorry.”

His apology seemed sincere enough, but you still couldn’t shake this new feeling you had. You got more than you had wanted out of this, a pact, an apology, and a new sense of confidence it seemed. You felt bad watching Lucifer practically beg for forgiveness like this, and yet, seeing him sit there like that? A complete mess, eyes red with tears still gently rolling down his face, he looked like easy prey just waiting to be caught. It was still feeding the beast inside you.

“Can you ever forgive me?” The question was soft and weak. This was possibly the most vulnerable you’d ever seen the great Avatar of pride before. You were starting to enjoy it.

“Oh Lucifer,” a gentle smile appeared on your lips. “All I ever wanted was a sincere apology and for you to take responsibility.”

You bent down slightly before continuing.

“Of course I can forgive you, as long as you understand our dynamic now.” You wiped the newest tears off his cheeks with your hand and gently caressed his face, you felt him lean into your touch slightly. “I care deeply about my pacts and the demons I formed them with, I want nothing but for us to get along and have that special bond.”

Lucifer’s eyes softened and you could see his body begin to relax.

“However,” the same devious smile from previous encounters reappeared on your face as your firmly held his with the hand that had just wiped his tears. You planted one foot firmly on the seat of his chair right between his thighs and leaned in closely, your nose lightly brushing against his as you spoke. “If you think you control me, you don’t know what you’re in for.”

Your voice was practically a whisper now but felt more powerful than when you had been yelling earlier. Lucifer’s eyes couldn’t decide whether to stay locked on yours or watch as your lips hovered just out of reach of his. You had officially reduced him to the same pathetic puddle Belphie was during his little chat, but somehow this time it felt a lot more enjoyable.

“Understood?” You tilted his chin up just as he had done to you earlier.

“Yes, Master.” You couldn’t help but scoff at the response.

“How obedient, must come with the pride.” You let go of his face and stepped away from him. You glanced at the time on your phone and then one more time at the new ring that adorned your finger. Realizing how late it was and how early you had to be up to finally return home, you headed toward the office door. “You should head to bed soon. We have a big day tomorrow.”

You heard shuffling behind you and a few very clumsy footsteps before turning to look over your shoulder. Lucifer had scrambled to his feet half drunk on Demonus and the other half on you, you assumed he wanted to follow after you but either his legs stopped working or he was sober enough to stop himself because he only made it as far as the chair you had been sitting in.

“You cou— you could just stay here tonight…with me.” He managed to get out as his face flushed red again.

“I could,” you smiled “but I won’t.” You watched his face drop as you unlocked the door and stepped out. Before closing it you turned back one more time. “You haven’t earned that yet.”

**********

The next morning, you stood in the student council room at RAD along with the brothers and other exchange students one last time, back where it all began. As the others talked excitedly and goodbyes were said to Simeon, Luke and Solomon, you thought back on the last year and everything that had happened, both good and bad. You had been tossed into this world against your will, tasked with representing the entire human race, placed in a home with seven unruly brothers, faced death more times than you cared to ever remember, got caught up in weird family drama, and stood toe to toe with raging demons one too many times.

It wasn’t all bad though.

You made some new friends, you experienced things you never knew existed, you tried amazing food from both the Devildom and Celestial Realm, you managed to help the brothers patch things up, you pulled off making pacts with seven Demon Lords in just one years’ time (Solomon would be furious when he found out) and got the apologies you rightfully deserved from each of your pact members. All in all it wasn’t too terrible and the more you thought about going home the more you realized you would miss seeing these dorks every day, you wouldn’t miss the arguing…but you’d miss the bad jokes, the movie nights, the random adventures and most of all you’d miss watching them embarrass each other in front of you.

The others eventually departed and now it was your turn. You were trying to think of the easiest way to say bye without causing tears and dramatics when you felt a soft tug on your arm. Belphie stood a few inches away from your back, trying to get your attention the same way he had the last few months, when you turned he blushed slightly and dropped his gaze to his feet as usual.

“I’m sorry for fucking things up for so long. I really enjoyed the time we had together, I just wish it could last a little longer.” He lifted his gaze to look at you. “Are we okay?”

“Yes darling,” you smiled. You had put his ass through the wringer ever since the fallout yet with each passing day he looked at you like you hung the moon and stars yourself, the least you could do was forgive him before leaving. “I think we’ll be just fine. Listen to your brothers while I’m gone though, if I find out you’ve been nothing but a brat,” you pulled him in for a brief hug and whispered in his ear. “there will be consequences.”

You released him from the hug and noticed the deep red on his face, you’d miss how easy it was to tease him. Leaving Belphie to drown in his thoughts you turned to his twin and started to speak.

“Beelz—” Only to be cut off by a hug that knocked all the air out of your lungs but then melted into a firm but gentle one. “Good to know you learned some self-restraint.” You managed to squeeze out in one breath.

“Thank you,” the sixth born spoke into the top of your head, his arms trapping you against his chest. “For helping Belphie, for putting up with us, and for making us a family again.” You started to respond but felt a sudden wet spot on your shoulder, managing to look up you found the gentle giant staring at you with tear filled eyes.

“Oh Beel,”

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I said I wouldn’t cry and look what you made me do Beel!!” The unmistakable sound of Asmo throwing a tantrum and stomping his boot on the ground made you laugh; they truly were predictable.

You freed yourself from Beelzebub only to be engulfed by Asmo who begged for you not to leave him here with his brothers.

“Who’s going to tell me how beautiful I am? Who’s going to help me do my nails? Who am I supposed to gossip with??” Asmo asked frantically.

“Well, I’m sure Solomon has an easier way of getting back here.” You offered.

“He doesn’t count!” Asmo sobbed before Beel peeled him off you. You adjusted yourself and moved away before getting sucked back in by Asmo’s grasp. Satan looked at you trying to contain his laughter.

“Just so you know, I won’t cry.”

“And I thank you for that.” You sighed.

“I will miss you though.” You hugged the fourth born and then he continued. “Thank you for teaching me how to feel things other than anger and for helping me find better ways to control it.”

“Don’t burn the place down while I’m gone.” You teased.

“No promises.” He replied.

You turned to Levi who looked like he was waiting in line to meet Ruri-chan herself.

“Alright my otaku friend, I know this is far too much of a normie thing so I’ll keep it—” Cut off again by the world’s fastest and most unexpected public hug you blinked trying to figure out what just happened. “Did you just hug me in front of other people?”

“You’ll probably forget about all our games we have saved once you get home but I’ll keep them in case we get to play again…thanks for being my friend this year.” The third born turned bright red as he shoved his hands in his pockets. You knew this whole thing was probably a lot for him and were incredibly proud of how far he had come since day one, he was no longer the awkward little shut-in you first met. Now he was your awkward little friend.

“ANYWAY!” Mammon shoved his brother out of the way before standing next to you and leaning on your shoulder. “Listen, I know it’s probably suuuper boring back home ‘cause I’m not there so why dontcha just summon me on the daily and you can be entertained by the great Mammon?”

This time you gave the unsuspected hug.

“Thank you Mammon,” you squeezed your arms around him one last time. “For always being there for me…and protecting me until the very end.”

“’Course,” his voice was soft and you knew he was fighting tears. “Wouldn’t trade it for all the Grimm in the Devildom.”

You pushed out of the hug and grabbed his face with both your hands and smiled a big goofy grin.

“And thanks for being my first man!” you teased.

“Ack, why ya gotta go and say somethin cheesy like that?? Geez, like I care!”

You would definitely miss embarrassing him. You couldn’t help but laugh as you backed away and watched him blush while muttering to himself. One goodbye left and you’d be gone.

Once again you stood before Lucifer, the same old song and dance you had done for twelve months, but this time the dynamic was switched. You stood tall with a confident smile on your face while Lucifer seemed a little more nervous than usual, he of course would never let his brothers see that which is why he stood with his back to them.

“I’ll never forget this year I’ve spent with you.” Lucifer spoke with his usual matter-of-fact tone but you could sense sadness in his voice. You knew if the goodbye dragged on too long he would break just like he had last night, so you tried to keep it short, to spare his ego.

“Watch over your brothers,” you took a few steps closer and lowered your voice so your conversation became more private. “Keep them out of trouble but don’t work yourself to death in the process. Remember to relax every now and then.”

“I’m only truly able to relax when you’re around.” Lucifer had a pleading look in his eyes, one that was screaming for you not to leave. If you didn’t go soon you might just give in and stay a little longer. After all, things just got interesting and the cards seemed to finally be fully in your favor.

“Be good while I’m away.” Your final command to him.

“Of course, Master,” the first born lifted your hand and gently kissed the ring he had placed on you last night. “Anything for you.”

“Hey, Lucifer! What’s the big idea whisperin’ over there?? And why the hell are ya holdin their hand! No one said anything about that!” Mammon shouted from behind, breaking the trance Lucifer seemed to be in and drawing out the normal heavy sigh and eye roll.

“It’s time.” Diavolo interjected before an argument could break out.

You grabbed the few belongings you had gathered during your stay and walked toward the portal Barbatos had opened, a few more steps and you’d finally be back home. You had officially survived your stay in the Devildom.

“Before you go,” Diavolo spoke again. “I’d like to know, is there anything in particular you learned during your stay?”

You turned back around to face the prince along with the brothers. Had you learned anything? Honestly you learned a lot, about the three realms, about magic, and above all about yourself. It was hard to pick one singular thing and even harder to find a way to condense it all.

“I guess if I had to choose,” you paused for a moment to think. While doing so you made eye contact with the spoiled brat who had caused the last five months of tension and ultimately unlocked some bizarre power and feeling inside you that you still didn’t quite understand. “I learned that what doesn’t kill me, just makes me vicious.”

You watched as the youngest brother ducked his head and began to fidget with his sleeves, you caught the pink in his cheeks as you turned back around and headed through the portal leading to home. The brothers watched your every move, hoping that at the last minute you would turn around and run straight back to them, but you didn’t. Just as you entered the bright light and your silhouette started to fade, Leviathan caught sight of a bright blue symbol shining against the glow of the portal, one that definitely wasn’t there before.

“Wha—” the third born recognized the symbol immediately but couldn’t believe his eyes. There was no way you had pulled that off, and if you did then that made you the most badass person ever, like insanely badass, more than any anime protagonist he’d ever heard of. He frantically looked around at his brothers who seemed clueless to the new symbol. “IS NOBODY ELSE SEEING THAT??”

“Ow, Levi don’t shout in my ear like that, ugh.” Asmo scoffed while blinking tears from his eyes as to not ruin his mascara.

“NO NO! You guys totally see that right?!? That’s Lucifer’s pact mark on—" Levi turned and pointed back at the now gone portal. “them…”

“WHA— DID YA GET A PICTURE OF IT?!” Mammon screeched while grabbing his brothers shoulders.

“N-no?”

“Levithatwasaoneinamillionshotwhaddyameanyoudidnttakeapicture??” Mammon sobbed while shaking his younger brother like a rag doll.

“Mammon stop! You might snap him in half.” Beelzebub said as he picked the second born up and threw him over his shoulder before heading toward the door. “Let’s go.”

“Honestly Leviathan,” the third born jumped, not expecting Lucifer to be directly behind him. “you might want to take a break from all the video games, I think it’s ruining your eyes.” Levi smiled sheepishly and watched his brother turn to leave the council room. “We’re done here.”

The brothers said goodbye to Diavolo and Barbatos before departing, Belphegor teasing Mammon as Beelzebub carried him out of the room, Asmodeus, Leviathan and Satan speaking in hushed tones while gossiping about you potentially having a pact with the demon of pride himself, and Lucifer leading them out with his head held high and a smug grin on his face. He knew damn well you had flashed his mark on purpose, just to stir his brothers up.

“Well, I suppose that brings the first year of our exchange program to an end Barbatos! I have to say, I think it was a rousing success!” Diavolo grinned, feeling overly proud himself.

“Of course young Master, however,” Barbatos said. “Did you happen to notice our human exchange student seemed a little less…”

“Human?” Diavolo finished his question. His grin disappeared and a look of concern took its place. “Yes, I did notice that. It’s very troublesome but I’m unsure if Lucifer and his brothers are aware of it…Barbatos, could you—”

“I’m already on it sir,” Barbatos smiled calmly and opened a new portal.

“Don’t worry about a thing.”

Tag list: @hero-the-diamond @purplerosewrites @alydra @lotusyasumi @bagofwetmice @itsmeninerz @elssecondaccount @a-toxic-person @takimarasukido @umbra-davina @littleagxs tumblr hates me and I couldn’t tag some people >:( also @delphi-dreamin just because I feel responsible to tag you in all my Lucifer pieces💖

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sunfyresrider · 11 months

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˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐡 | Aegon T.

✧Summary: Ever since you were a child you found solace in the faith. As you grew so did your devotion to the gods. You were hellbent on becoming a septa and remaining pure. Until one cursed night you stumble upon a scene that tests your faith and continues to do so until you reach your breaking point. ✧Tags: religious themes, religious guilt, Aegon issss, well, a whore, targcest, wet dreams, some spicy church smut. ✧Author’s Note: Anon, my love, your request was very long so I didn’t put it in the post itself. I hope you find this and enjoy it<3 ps I did not edit the smut scene bc i got embarassed

You had always been a good girl, your mother’s favorite. You were hopelessly devoted to the gods and worshiped them as you were supposed to. You did not sin, unless it was necessary, and it rarely was. You did what your mother said no questions asked. You attended septa lessons and the sept frequently, as those were the only things that mattered to you.

The clothes you wore were never flashy, you seldom wore jewelry. Sometimes you paired them with a hair net or cowl to conceal your hair, as was expected of women of the faith. You did not flaunt your body, nor did you flaunt yourself. You followed the rules and found solace in them.

Unlike your sweet sister who would in time be wed, have children and live out her life as somebody’s wife, you were hell bent on becoming a septa. What better way to prove your devotion than becoming a servant of the faith? Your siblings were not the same, the Targaryens in general were not the same.

They all sinned needlessly, whether it be incest or premarital bedding they all did it and assumed themselves to be exempt from the gods punishments. You knew better, of course, as was expected of a servant of the gods. However, tonight was much different than the rest.

You should have been in bed by this hour. If your mother found, you she would surely chastise you. But Merexes, your cat, had escaped and you could not sleep without her. You delicately creeped around the keep, avoiding any guards stationed outside during the nighttime. Though half of them looked as if they were asleep standing up, it was better to be cautious.

“Mer,” you whispered loudly. “Here kitty kitty, it’s time for bed.” your voice faintly echoed throughout the corridor. You heard some noises coming from the eastern part of Maegor’s holdfast. Perhaps Helaena had stolen her away in the night and failed to tell you.

You didn’t like this part, the area where your eldest brother slept. It was dark and dingy, his guard Ser Arryk was almost always sent away so Aegon could do whatever he pleased. What he did you did not know, but you were sure it was against the faith. There were only a few candles in this corridor, making the darkened stone walls appear far scarier than they should be.

“Meraxes, where are you, my love?” Your voice was shaky, more nervous than previously. A small gush of wind made an eerie noise causing you to jump. You really did not like this place at night. “Here kitty kitty,” you tried again in a louder whisper. The breeze chilled your shoulder, causing you to wrap your shawl around tighter. It was foolish to leave your room in your night clothes too, your mother would not approve.

At the end of the hallway there was a faint light flickering, in the shadow it casted you could see a tail gently swaying accompanied by mewling. Your entire mood shifted as you raced towards her, calling out her name quietly. You lost focus of your surroundings as you swiftly lifted her into your arms before she could resist. You squeezed her gently, placing kisses on her head.

But your focus was pulled away, the sound of mewling did not stop and it was not coming from your cat. You turned on your heels, peeking around the corner. The thing you saw was beyond sinful, a direct violation of every commandment the gods had. The eldest of your siblings, Aegon, had a woman wrapped around her waist. He was thrusting into her, in the bare at that. For a moment you were too stunned to move, your feet firmly planted into the floor. Your eyes were nearly popping out of your head, a crimson blush covering your exposed skin.

It felt as if the room was on fire, a swirling sensation beginning to form in your gut. You were sure your mouth hung agape; you had never ever seen anything so vulgar in your life before… As if sensing they were being watched the girl whipped her head over to see you, she let out a scream signaling you were there.

It immediately snapped you out of your daze, you sprinted towards your bedroom refusing to look back. Meraxes bouncing in your arms as you dodged through your door, slamming it shut behind you. You paced around your room, panting whilst trying to catch your breath. Aemond always said he was the definition of sin, and you should have listened. You should had stayed in your chambers; you should had left before you witnessed anything.

You shook your head, trying to banish the vile images from your mind. You felt dirty, even though you had not gone near mud. You forced yourself into the bed, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to forget everything you had seen. It was nearly impossible, especially with this unknown desire that now plagued you.

There was a warm sensation in between your legs. The feeling of something wet lapping at an area you never dared touch.Your core felt as if it was tingling, causing your body to squeeze around something. You lowered your hand, grabbing at the hair of whoever’s head was down there. The appendage moved in circles around you, eliciting sensations you had never felt prior. His hands moved to cup at your breasts, squeezing your nipples to pull soft moans out of you. You lazily opened your eyes, looking down to see who was bringing you such pleasure….. “Aegon?”

You jumped awake, scanning your room for any intruders. You lifted your night dress to see if anything had happened, yet you found nothing but wet bed sheets. Your core ached for something you did not know… And you felt dirty once more. Incest was one of the greatest sins, accompanied by whatever else you had done in your dreams.

You had the maids fetch you a bath as soon as you woke, scrubbing ceaselessly at your skin to wash away the sin you didn’t want. By the time you had finished your skin was reddened and raw. Still, the feeling of uncleanliness did not leave you. The throbbing between your thighs refused to leave.

You were meant to attend septa lessons today and walk around the gardens with Helaena to search for bugs, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave your room. Instead, you attempted to find solace in the book of the seven. As you read you kept your legs crossed, it was the only way you had found to cease the ache a little.

There was nothing in the book you could find that explained your new feelings. However, it is said that prostitution and promiscuity is against the faith and outlawed. You knew about the women who bed men before marriage, but promiscuity was a large word you hadn’t heard the definition before. In general, bedding was actually seen as bad but was ignored since you needed it to have children.

If you were being completely honest with yourself, you were never taught what bedding was. You knew a man laid with a woman, but the details were not given to you. Since you were adamant on becoming a septa, those lessons were never extended to you…

You could only presume what your brother was doing was bedding…

You gave up on the religious scripture, though it said many things most of them you couldn’t understand. What you knew in your heart was the thoughts in your mind were sinful, the thing you saw last night was sinful. And if you kept going on like this you would burn in the seven hells.

But you are young, and curiosity got the best of you. Which is why you sought out your elder sister, she’s the smartest and least judgmental. If anyone in this realm had the answers you sought after it would be her. So, you forced yourself out of your chambers and into the gardens with her.

It had just rained the other day, which meant many new sorts of creatures crawled out of the dirt. Underneath the neatly trimmed shrubbery was an array of different worms, in the flower beds there were many beetles and a few flying insects who buzzed constantly.

Foraging for insects was not something you necessarily enjoyed, but it would get her in high spirits before you used her as a living dictionary. You made your way to the gods wood, a favorite destination of hers. Every time you went you laid in the same position, your head on her lap and her leaned against the tree half asleep.

“Sister, if I may, can I ask a question?” She nodded silently, stroking your hair between her fingers. “You must swear you won’t get angry.” Helaena let out a soft hmm, enjoying basking in the sun. “What exactly does bedding entail?” Her eyes opened, a bit of surprise lacing her features. “I should have guessed mother never told you... Basically a man puts his penis inside a woman’s body until his seed spills and hopefully a babe will come from it.”

It was now your turn to look surprised, you opened your mouth to say that was all you needed but she continued. “That’s for producing an heir. If a man lays with a woman for pleasure, they do all sorts of things. A man may put his penis in her mouth, she may sit on his face and have him lick her, sometimes they touch themselves together… That’s what Aegon does when he disappears at night.”

Now you knew too much and regretted asking. “I believe all of these are sins in your religion so, you don’t have to worry about it. Why do you ask?” You were now flustered, and unspeakably embarrassed. However, speaking to Helaena of such things would probably bring more comfort than confessing to the Septon.., “I saw Aegon coupling last night, in the hallway.”

She let out a groan, sitting up from her place in the grass. “You know, I can’t count the amount of times Aemond and I have caught him. We specifically said to keep his doings away from you since you so badly yearn to become a septa… I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

The worst part of it all was that you didn’t regret it. You did in a way, you wished your eyes and mind had remained as pure as they were prior. However, you did not dislike the scene entirely. There was some sick and twisted part of you that wished it was you, that was enraged it was someone else.

Fool, you chastised yourself. You are breaking three commandments in a single day. Desires of the flesh, jealously, and worst of all incest. The guilt was overwhelming but the burning desire to know more was just as strong.

You would pray for the gods mercy tonight and every other night until this was gone.

Your mother forced you to attend supper this night. She had been worried you hid yourself away and refused you let you stay that way… She didn’t know you were protecting yourself from unlawful images! The vast table was almost always empty, usually only Aemond, Helaena, you and your mother attended them. You were thankful this was one of the things your brother strayed away from. You don’t think you could look him in the eye after last night.

However, the gods were testing you today just as they did last. In the midst of dining, whilst Helaena was telling you about the butterfly she saw today, he came strolling in. Aegon looked as he usually did, unclean. Though he had a lazy smirk plastered on his face as he took a seat at the table.

“Sister,” he nodded towards you, a sickly sweet greeting. Your body tensed, a sheen of blush coating your face. The monster had come to pull you into the depths of his depravity and you would not do it. “Nice of you to join us, Aegon.” Your mother gritted through her teeth. “Pray tell, what made you decide to show up today?”

“Aemond,” your mother attempted to chastise him. He sank back in his chair signaling one of the servants to fill his glass. “I just wished to see my family.” He glanced at you knowingly, you immediately turned your focus to the food in front of you. Your eyes occasionally met and each time they felt as if they scorched your soul.

“Hmm,” was all Aemond managed to say before he went back to eating. Your grandsire waved a hand so the bard would start playing, anything was better than the silence that shrouded family meals. Supper was no longer appetizing, you simply picked away at your food with the fork.

The bard began to play a familiar tune, one that many dance to. You closed your eyes and hummed along, ignoring anyone else in the room. For a moment it was peaceful and there were no thoughts plaguing you. Until you felt two fingers tap at your shoulder drawing you out of your daze, “May I have this dance?”

The gods were surely testing your devotion, you fumbled your words, unable to come up with a suitable excuse. “Oh my, how surprising! Sweetie, go dance with your brother.” Your mother nudged you forward, so unaware of the games her own flesh played.

You begrudgingly took his hand, his warmth radiating through you. His grip was firm yet gentle, his hands soft yet taut. Aegon led you to the center of the room, positioning his hand around your waist. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, images of where his hands were last night flooding your brain.

“You seem flustered today, any particular reason?” He spun you around, speaking lowly so no one else could hear. Somehow you managed to find your voice, “I haven't a clue what you’re saying.” Aegon chuckled, his grip on your squeezing harder than before. Hands traveling lower than what was deemed proper. “Someone as righteous as you shouldn’t be lying.” You dared to look him in his eyes, feeling the room starting to spin around you. Your entire body felt flushed, as if a dragon had shrouded you in their flames.

“I-I don’t lie,” your gaze fell to his feet on the floor. Aegon leaned in close so his hair brushed against your ear. He whispered, “So, if I ask you where you were last night, you’ll tell me the truth?” You looked at him and he looked at you, with that same smirk. You didn’t need to respond; you both knew what you saw. “Did you dream about me too? I swore I heard you calling my name from inside your chambers.”

Your head was spinning, the room going black for a moment. You could hear people talking, you could hear the bard playing, but it was muffled as if you were underwater. You felt your knees become weak, the heat rising to your cheeks. If it wasn’t for Aegon’s grip you surely would have fallen to the floor out of sheer embarrassment. “What a shame it would be if mother found out, you, her perfect septa lusted for your brother.”

It was as if someone was twisting your insides and trying to break your faith. He was teasing you, simply trying to pull you down to his own depths of depravity. You were not like him, you were not vulgar or licentious. You were better than he was and yet you felt as if you could melt into his touch. His words boiling inside you like a wildfire that reached your core. “M-may the gods have mercy on you, brother.”

Aegon hummed, his fingers digging into your hips. You closed your eyes and prayed to the gods that your cheeks weren't as red as they felt. Aegon kept dancing, seemingly unfazed by his teasing. The shame you felt was indescribable, there were not enough soaps in the world to cleanse you now.

Once the song came to an end Aegon stopped, slowly bringing you closer to him. He was staring into your eyes, a fire burning inside them. His lips pressed against your forehead, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. "I’ll keep this our secret, little septa.” He backed away from you, beckoning goodnight to everyone else. As soon as he left, you took a deep breath. You tried to calm yourself, feeling as if you were standing on a raft in a river while being pulled apart by two separate streams.

A gentle hand touched your shoulder, “don’t let him get to you. He revels in other people's misery.” Helaena stared at him while he left, eyes narrowed in his direction. “Will you take me to bed, please? I don’t feel hungry anymore…” She nodded, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

The past several nights you were plagued with dreams of sin. If Aegon’s head was not between your legs, then he was inside of you. If he was not on top of you, he was beside you touching you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. Each night you awoke to a wet bed, sweat on your skin and each morning you took a bath and tried to scrub away the night before.

It had gotten to the point you started to question the gods. Was this all a test to your devotion? If these feelings were so strong, was it truly sin after all? Yes, you reminded yourself, this was all terrible. Aegon was the living embodiment of everything the gods were against, a whore, a drunk, and everything else you could think of. Maybe that was why you were drawn to him; he was nothing like you.

You wanted to be better than him, you wanted to be better than anyone. Yet, you felt weak in his presence, you felt your mind start to spin each time he talked to you. If you could not escape him, maybe you could change him. You were sure that if Aegon was yours then the gods would forgive your sins, they would understand your passion and dedication. You had to believe that they would, after all, they were the ones who gave you this strength in the first place.

The sept was your very first destination of the day, the place where you would beg for forgiveness and for the gods to ease this burning inside of you. You lit a candle in front of you, lowering yourself to your knees and lacing your hands together.

You took a deep breath, “I come before you to pray for forgiveness and to beg for help. For I have fallen victim to this burning desire within me… You know I am much purer than the depraved crowd. You know I do not feel jealousy nor hatred for any of your other children… And yet when I see my brother all I can feel is desire, when he speaks with another woman I am filled with hate. I do not understand why I am not strong enough to fight this… So, I beg you, let him feel the fires of the seven hells and free me from this torment. Or give him to me and me alone and let me change him.”

You bowed your head, shutting your eyes and waiting for the gods to grant you a sign. For a moment, there was silence. You opened your eyes and stared at the candle in front of you, watching the flame flicker. Then you heard footsteps, “I should have assumed you would be here.” Aegon stalked forward, glancing at the statues around you. “Pray tell, why are you here?”

You felt your heart begin to pound, each beat like a hammer to the side of your ribs. Aegon crossed his arms, “I come here… sometimes.” His gaze fell on you, you couldn't stand being under his scrutiny.

“Since you’ve come so far, kneel with me brother,” you reached a hand out waiting for him to take it. Aegon stood there unsure, religion was never his forte. Still he took your hand and got on his knees in front of the gods. He cleared his throat, "what exactly am I meant to do?"

You gave him a gentle smile, "pray for mercy and forgiveness for your sins. And ask for guidance." Aegon scoffed, “is that what you do? Pray for forgiveness? What sins have you committed that need prayer?” You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you stared at him. "I simply pray for others' sake." Aegon clicked his tongue, "Lying in the house of the gods too? You’ve really taken a turn for the worse.”

Now all you could feel was guilt, was he always so capable of seeing through you? Would the gods punish you for a white lie? “It’s private.” He chuckled to himself, moving to sit on top of the stone you prayed before. “Who better to confess to than me? The gods will surely judge you for they’re too pure but I’m, as you said before, the living embodiment of sin.”

You stared up at him, from this angle he did seem godly to you, as if he was your sole god. As if he held a power over you that you did not possess. He beckoned you forward with a finger, placing it under your chin and lifting it so you faced him. "Come little septa, tell me what your holy self has done."

The beating of your heart grew louder, threatening to burst from your chest and fill the sept with its frantic beating. "I- I have sinful desires… of the flesh." Your voice quivered as you confessed, the guilt of lying to the gods filling you to the brim. Aegon hummed, moving his finger from your chin and placing it against your lips. “Who has caused such vulgar things?”

He stared into your eyes, they seemed like an ocean of sin, filled with the horrors of the world and yet somehow, they were as clear as glass. You wanted to stare into them forever, as if they were a trap that you could not escape once you fell in. “Y-you.”

He pressed his thumb to your bottom lip, tugging at it gently. His gaze turned heated, almost like that of a wild beast. “Then you have been praying to the wrong gods. If only you worshiped me, prayed to me, I could make it go away.” You could feel yourself start to sweat, a feeling of warmth forming between your legs. It was as if he was lighting a match in your stomach, slowly igniting your flesh with his burning gaze.

"t-teach me, how to devote myself to you instead.” Aegon leaned closer, His warm breath hitting your lips. His voice was a low whisper, "As you wish, little septa," His lips crashed against yours, his hand tearing away your hair net. It was like he had torn a hole in the very fabric of the sept, the moment you entered the gods seemed to disappear. Everything about Aegon made you feel weak, he made you want to abandon your beliefs, make you want to throw away your virtue.

His kiss was rough, but passionate. It was like he was devouring your very soul and sucking out your very being. Aegon began to unlace his trousers, his cock springing loose. Your eyes widened, you’d never seen a male appendage before, and you surely did not think they were this big. "Open your mouth." You obeyed, opened your mouth so your tongue was in view. Aegon let out a low groan, "such a good little septa."

Your lips stretched around his cock as he forced it into your mouth. His hips bucked forward, his cock hitting the back of your throat. He moaned, gently tugging at your hair to signal you to move. “Suck harder.” He looked down at you, his lustful gaze boring into your very soul.

You did your best to please him, your head moving up and down, your tongue licking his shaft. Tears were beginning to leak from your eyes as his tip occasionally hit the back of your throat. "Fuck, " His hand ran through your hair, gently stroking it.

He pulled himself out of your mouth, “We have on too many clothes.” He made quick work of his own clothes before tearing off your dress, stripping you naked in front of the gods. Aegon leaned back, his eyes wandering across your exposed flesh. "My, you are perfect, little septa."

Aegon pulled you onto his lap, one hand holding onto your waist while the other went between your legs. His finger slid against your folds, "So wet already." You shivered, a whine escaping your throat. "Aegon-"

"You’ve never touched yourself before, have you? Oh, you innocent thing," Aegon smirked, lifting you by your waist. His cock prodded at your entrance, the head slipping inside of you. He moved his hands, placing one on your hip while the other gripping your thigh. Aegon pushed you down, his cock forcing itself into your tight cunt.

You let out a loud scream, the feeling of being stretched making your legs weak. He groaned; his cock buried inside of you. "That's right, scream loud enough for all the gods to hear." Aegon's hands moved to your waist, moving you up and down his cock.

"Aegon, ahh!" You cried out, each time he hit your center. You gripped onto his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. "S-so good,” his words slurred. The holy sept was filled with the sound of your skin slapping together and the sounds he was forcing out of you.

Your cunt began to tighten, a sickly-sweet heat building inside of you. “A-Aeg,” you cried out. He slowed his thrusts, biting his lip hard “not yet,” he pushed you off of him and onto the hot stone, coating your breasts and stomach in candle wax.

He moved behind you, his hand wrapping around your throat. "You're not allowed to cum until I do." He rammed himself into you, hitting the spot inside that made your legs turn to jelly. Aegon moaned, "s-good sister.”

He pounded into you, his cock stretching you open. Your head was spinning, everything was hazy, and you couldn't tell where you ended and he began. Aegon slipped his fingers underneath you, rubbing at your clit. His pace was ruthless, each thrust making your head spin.

You bit your lip as Aegon rutted into you like an animal. Your legs started to become weak, shaking from the stimulation. "Fuck," he hissed, "Cum with me, little septa.” You whimpered loudly, the coil in your stomach tightening.

His thrusts became sloppy, his fingers circling your clit faster. Your body went rigid, your toes curling and your vision blurring. A wave of ecstasy hit you, sending shivers down your spine. "Fuck fuck, fuck-" Aegon buried himself deep inside of you, your cunt squeezing his seed out of him.

He fell on top of you, panting into your ear. His cock slipped out of you, cum dripping from your abused pussy. Aegon pressed a kiss to your temple, "my little septa," he chuckled, "You should have told me how you felt sooner."

Your entire body felt sore, yet you were completely at peace. You'd never felt this way before, your mind was clouded, and you couldn't even begin to think straight. Aegon kissed you again, his tongue slipping into your mouth and making you melt. "Don't fret, I'll take care of you from now on, sweet sister."

#aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #aegon ii #aegon fic #aegon x y/n #aegon x reader #aegon x you #aegon smut #aegon ii fic #aegon ii x you #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii smut #hotd fic #aegon ii x y/n

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doxypsychlean · 1 year

Note

is there a part 2 to Strong maybe bit of smut

Strong pt.2

Aegon ii Targaryen x Strong!Reader

Previous chapter: Strong pt.1

Warnings: Targcest, Explicit language, NSFW content, Blood, Aegon beats up Aemond(not that bad, I swear)

Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and bite your nose off!

English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.

Additional info: Instead of Rhaenyra escorting the Strong fellas back to Dragonstone, they all stay in the Red Keep(just imagine it for a sec that Alicent begged her ass off and got Rhaenyra to stay, cs she wants to spend more time w her(this is my fkn world and in it, these two make up idc)

A/N: Ooop, here it fkn issss!!! Ngl, I was cackling like a middleschooler while writing the spicy part of this one. Welp... Cheers, you horny bastards!!!

P.S. I fkn lied, this is nowhere near close to the req. Sorry, dear Anon.

A choked up sob came out of the Prince's mouth as he rubbed the linen washcloth over the bitemarks on his neck. Tears welled up in his eyes, but Aegon was quick to blink them away, before the woman could see.

She was sat across him, on the edge of the bed, watching him as Aegon dabbed away the blood. She was already dressed, in a long, bell-sleeved green gown that showed off every curve of hers. Aegon sneaked a glance at her deep neckline, then quickly averted his eyes.

The woman noticed it immediately, eyes never leaving his face. She ran a soft hand over her shoulder and pushed her long, dark hair out of the way, so it could trail down her back.

"Our mothers, along with your sister, Baela and Rhaena are in the gardens." She said, voice gone back to its usual cushiness. "They invited me to join them. I trust you will behave?"

The silver haired man flinched at her question. His hands dropped down to his lap, pulling at the washcloth as his eyes looked down at the dirty sheets.

Behave. Behave. Behave.

"Love?" Her eyes narrowed, word coming out rough and low.

Aegon flinched again. He looked up at her, head shaking up and down violently. She let out an amused hum, then got up on her feet.

"Good." She was now standing next to him, one hand reaching up to his face. She took in the angry bruise she'd awarded him with the night before. Then the faint imprints of her hand that covered his face, neck and chest. The rest staying hidden from her eyes by the sheet Aegon had covered his lower half with. "You're so good."

Aegon whined, the pathetic sound reverberating in his head. Before he had time to curse himself out for it, her fingers hooked under his chin. He turned to face her, hands clutching and pulling at the washcloth.

"My brothers are with Aemond and Ser Criston, in the training grounds." She said, thumb running over his bottom lip. "You'll join them."

It wasn't a question, but an order. One he wasn't brave enough to not follow. Not after the things his sweet,sweet wife had done to him throughout the previous night.

"That's it." The woman laughed out as she bent forward, lips meeting with those of Aegon. "I must go, my love. Get ready, then head down. You'll find clothes on the chair over there."

His pale eyes shot open, following to where her hand was pointing at. He nodded once more, head falling down after. The Prince put the washcloth on the nightstand as he got up.

Although he was a few good inches taller than her, Aegon felt incredibly small. Weak. Worthless. Undeserving.

He hissed as her hands wrapped around his wrists, successfully getting her to pull away. For a bit. Then she grabbed him again, this time much more gently, and brought them up so she could take a closer look.

The porcelain skin was now red and swollen. The ropes had left behind thin, angry traces where they'd cut in, marring the blank canvas Aegon was.

"I am sorry, my dragon." She whispered as she peppered his inner wrists with soft, apologetic kisses.

"It's fine." The Prince finally spoke out, his voice hoarse and trembling. He was smiling down at her, trying to bite back another hiss. "I...enjoyed it."

The brunette looked up at him, plump lips meeting with the red skin for the last time before she let go. Her arms wrapped around his neck, body pressing close to his.

Aegon rubbed his bruised cheek against hers, melting in her hands.

"My dragon..." She trailed off, pulling him impossibly close to herself. "I love you."

Aegon whined again, the tears now falling freely from his eyes. His hands reached for her hips, nails digging into the green silk of the gown that covered them.

"Say it again..." He was falling apart, body shaking with the intensity of the sobs that left his mouth. "Please."

The woman kept quiet. The fingers that were rubbing small circles on the back of his head, stopped moving.

"Please." Aegon needed to hear it. Especially after the cruel words she'd punished him with the night before. "Tell me you love me. Please."

Love me. Love me. Love me.

But she didn't say it. Instead, she unwrapped her arms from around him. The Prince almost fell to his knees at the loss of contact.

"Get dressed." She turned around, walking towards the doors of their chambers.

Aegon became painfully aware of the pitiful state he was in- naked, crying and begging, covered in endless amount of bruises, scratches and marks. He tried to put himself back together, to wipe the broken expression off his face. But there was no point.

In just a few hours, she'd completely destroyed whatever it was, that was left of the Prince. He had no ground to stand on. Not anymore. He could yell in her face, break her to pieces, even kill her. But she'd die, knowing she won. Knowing that she'd broken him in, taken him down to being this sad, miserable excuse of a person.

"I love you." Her voice reached Aegon's ears. "I truly do."

Then she was gone.

────────────

"What happened to you?" Aemond asked as his brother approached him. He lowered his sword, signaling to Criston he'd take a break.

The knight offered a small nod, then turned his attention to the younger boys who were standing off to the side.

"Got into some trouble last night?" The one-eyed prince teased.

Aegon's head shot up, eyes staring up at his younger brother in shock. How did he find out, he heard his trembling voice inside his head. His legs almost gave out at the thought of Aemond knowing what she'd done to him. His brother already looked down on him, what must he be thinking now, that he knew his big brother was used like a whore.

"Told you that you shouldn't be going out into the city alone..." Prince Aemond said, hand reaching for Aegon's shoulder.

Aegon bit down a groan as his brother's hand came down on one of the bitemarks. He shook his head, his usual smug grin coming back on his face to cover the pain.

"It was nothing, don't worry about it." A relieved breath escaped through Aegon's words. Fortunately, Aemond didn't notice it.

The long-haired man lowered his hand, eyeing Aegon up and down suspiciously. There was nothing out of the ordinary. His brother looked a bit tired, a bit disheveled. Nothing he hadn't seen before.

He looked away for a second, then his eye came back to Aegon.

"What in the Seven Hells are you wearing?"

Aegon was sporting a high-collared black doublet, black pants and leather boots. That's not what shocked Aemond. It was the red shirt that showed underneath the doublet. The red cord it was embroidered with. The three-headed dragon pin on his chest.

Then his eye trained on Aegon's hands. The ridiculously large gold ring was resting on his little finger of his right hand. On his left thumb, however, was a simple steel band ring. One that had the sigil of House Strong on it.

Aegon turned red as he noticed the way his brother was inspecting him.

"Leave it be." He whispered, eyes going back to their nephews, who were now swinging at Ser Criston. "It doesn't concern you."

Aemond wrapped one gand around the back of Aegon's neck, eliciting a pained growl from his brother.

"You didn't get that nasty bruise out in the streets, did you?" Aemond teased, eye darting to his brother now and then. "No shame, brother. I honestly expected for your Strong lady to put you in your place way sooner."

Aegon didn't dare say a word. He stood there, allowing his baby brother to make his cruel joke.

"Prince Aegon, Prince Aemond..." Criston's voice rang out. "Would you join us? We have to even the odds."

Aemond turned nodded, then took a step forward. He turned suddenly, spinning on one heel.

"Would anyone blame me if that little bastard lost an eye whilst sparring?" He said with that smirk of his. "Do you think your Strong lady will come after me, do to me what she did to you?"

And there it was, the straw that broke the camel's back. Aegon's back.

He lunged at his brother, knocking him to the ground. With his newfound strength, it only took a few blows to the face for Aemond to pass out, his head bouncing up and down with every hit.

Ser Criston, Luke and Jace reached them in no time. They tried to pull Aegon off, but the Prince simply refused to let go. The rage had blinded him, all he could see was his brother's bloodied face.

But it wasn't the cruel jokes. Nor was it Aemond threatening to take their nephew's eye out. It was him, suggesting that the Princess would put her hands on Aemond the way she'd done to Aegon.

That was for him. The pain, the humiliation,the punishment. All his. No one else's. His alone.

"Aegon!"

And just like that, Prince Aegon let go. He allowed for Criston to pull him to his feet and away from Aemond.

All his. No one else's. His alone.

He shook off Cole's hands, then turned to stare at her. Waiting. For her to storm over to him, and show everyone where his place was. To show to his mother, his sisters, his cousins, his nephews.

But nothing came. She stood there, at the top of the steps, staring down at him. One hand extended out towards Aegon. Drawing him, guiding him.

He didn't notice how Alicent ran past him, nor did he see how she dropped to her knees, next to Aemond's unconscious body. He didn't notice the scared and confused looks on his nephews faces or the way his half-sister, Rhaenyra, looked from her daughter to him with a smug grin.

All he could see was her.

Aegon followed the woman into the Red Keep and up the steps, towards their chambers.

────────────

"Why?" She asked, flopping down on the bed.

He didn't respond. Aegon was too busy trying to undo the clasps of his doublet to notice she'd said something.

"Come here..." She murmured, hand reaching out for him just like it had out there.

He heard her this time. Without wasting any time he strode over, only stopping when he had to look down to get a good look of her face.

They stood there like that for a bit, neither saying a word.

Then she spread her legs slowly, making room for him.

"Closer, I can't reach you."

The Prince took another step forward, now standing between her legs.

"I asked you a question." She said softly, fingers quickly undoing the clasps, then the buttons of his shirt. "Why did you do it?"

"He threatened to take your brother's eye out."

"I don't like it when you lie to me, Aegon." Her whole demeanor changed in the blink of an eye. There was no gentleness to her anymore. She tugged at the strings of his breeches, untying them with one swift move. "So why? I want the truth."

Aegon Targaryen had never shied away from a woman's touch the way he did when his wife's fingers ran down his happy trail. He sucked in a breath.

"He..." The Prince turned to look out the opened windows.

"What did he do?" She looked up at him, two fingers hooking at the front of his pants and tugging down.

"He asked if you'd do what you did to me, if he were to take his eye out." Aegon admitted, shaking his clothes of his body.

"And that made you knock Aemond out cold because..." The woman almost laughed at her own words. Aegon got him good, she couldn't deny it.

She watched as his breeches fell to the ground, freeing Aegon from the tight grasp they had on him. He let out a hiss as the cold air touched him, his already hard cock slapping against his lower abdomen.

Aegon looked away again, too ashamed of how much effect she had on him.

Two hungry eyes were staring down at the head of his cock, deep shade of pink and already leaking.

"Because...?" She teased, hand wrapping around him.

Aegon let out a deep moan, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. His pale face was turning red, making the purple bruise on his cheek stand out even more.

He hissed as she dragged her hand up and down the length of his cock at a painfully slow pace. The soreness of the night before still lingered, making every inch of his body scream in agony. Still, he found himself coming to love the feeling. The pain. The humiliation. The punishment.

"Because I don't want you to touch anyone else the..." His breath hitched as the brunette bent down a bit and licked a long stripe up the underside of his cock.

She felt him twitch slightly, making her let out an amused huff. A shiver ran down Aegon's back when he felt her warm breath hit him. His hand came to rest at the back of her head, gently massaging the skin underneath his fingers.

The sensation of her wet tongue dissappeared once she reached the tip, leaving the man to thrust his hips into the air. Then her full lips wrapped around the head, her tongue circling around it. She let out a low hum, the sound reverberating throughout his whole body.

"I don't want you to do what you did to me last night to anyone else!" He cried out, almost toppling over at the feeling of her tongue rubbing over the slit of his cock. "Just me..."

Her lips left him with a loud pop, the woman laughing softly at it. She wiped away the mixture of precum and saliva from her lips as she looked up at him.

"Just you, my dragon." She said as her hands wrapped around his wrists gently, guiding them towards her shoulders. "Help me get it off."

Aegon looked at her with a dumbstruck look on his face. His confusion didn't prevent him from sliding down the garment past her shoulders.

"You're not angry at me?" He asked.

"Quite the opposite..." The brunette said as she got up, leaving barely any space between their faces. "I'm proud of you, my brave dragon."

Another whine escaped Aegon as he slid his hands down her body, ridding her of her green gown. He pulled her close, their chest pressing against together.

He hid his face in the crook of her neck, planting wet, needy kisses on the skin there. Aegon lifted her up, the woman wrapping her legs around his waist quickly. He climbed on the bed while still holding her.

"I'm so sorry..." He said as he pulled away to look at her. "About yesterday. I didn't mean it, I just wanted to get a reaction from..."

She cut him short, pushing him off of her and then climbing on top of Aegon. On hand reached up to cover his mouth, the other going to his throat.

"I know." The Princess said, grinding down on him.

Aegon moaned from behind her hand, thrusting up. The grip she had on his throat got stronger. He stilled, his breathing did too.

The hand on his face turned, until her thumb was pressing down on his lips. He opened his mouth, tongue swirling around the single digit, cheeks hollowing as he sucked in.

"So good..." She whispered, her other hand sliding down his body and dissappearing between them. "So fucking good. For me."

Aegon's eyes fluttered shut as she wrapped her fingers around his cock, head shaking up and down with a choked moan.

"So brave..." The woman raised up slightly as she guided his cock to her, rubbing it over her slick cunt. "My brave dragon."

He bit down on her thumb as the tip of his cock entered her. The woman hissed, but didn't pull away. Instead, she hooked her other fingers under his chin, then shook slowly.

"Try not to bite it off or I'll have to return the favor." She joked, eyes darting from him to where their bodies met.

Both let out a chuckle, the sound soon getting replaced by Aegon's whines.

"Move." He unwrapped his lips from around her thumb, teeth still holding it in place. "Please."

"As my Prince commands..." Her breath hitched as she slammed down on him.

Her free hand trailed back up and then down again, nails digging in. Soon his porcelain skin turned to an angry shade of red, blood prickling.

Aegon couldn't hold back anymore. His hips snapped up, meeting with hers. Her palm collided with his face. He bit down on the digit in his mouth again with another hard thrust.

Another slap. His cheek was staring to sting. Then he did it again.

"You're enjoying it, aren't you?" She hissed out as she bounced up and down.

Aegon hummed, tongue rubbing against the pad of her thumb.

She pulled her hand away from his face, his teeth dragging over.

"I want to hear you." She said as she dropped down to his chest, legs giving out. "Say it."

Aegon mumbled a few incoherent sentences before wrapping his arms around her waist tight. He set up a painfully fast speed, skin hitting skin as he chased his own high.

Her mind went blank at the first thrust, hands pushing up as she tried to pull away from his grasp. She almost slipped away, but Aegon was quick to follow her. His head dipped down, lips wrapping around one of her nipples. He bit down and then sucked in, just as she'd done to him the night before.

A hiss came from the woman. One of her hands sneaked over his shoulder, then pulled his head back by his hair.

A thin string of saliva trailed from his mouth and down to her bruised nipple. He offered a toothy, devilish grin before licking his lips clean.

"I'm close." She stuttered, eyes shutting tight.

Aegon laughed out as his bruised cheek came to rest on her chest, his eyes closing. He kept the same pace, the sweet aching in his hips coming once more.

"Princess, the feast..." The doors flew open, one of her maids barging in. "Oh, Gods!"

The girl left just as quickly, blush creeping up on her face.

"Don't stop!" She moaned out as Aegon's thrust stuttered. "Don't!"

He laughed again, hips snapping. Then he stopped completely.

"It would seem I still don't know my place, wife." He craned his neck up as his mouth left behind a hot, blazing trail from her collarbones to her jaw.

"You'll learn..." The woman looked down at him, hand going back to wrap around his throat. "...husband."

#aegon ii x reader #aegon ii fanfic #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii targaryen x reader #strong!reader #hotd fanfic #hotd #game of thrones #dance of dragons #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #accepting requests #rhaenyra targaryen #aegon the second #requests open #not safe fw #i laughed harder than i should have #sorry but I can't take this seriously #aegon targaryen x reader

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makeandshift · 5 days

Text

Hasan S/O // relationship launch

this has been stuck in my head for days now, so here it issss 🥰

Her stuff just slowly but surely starts appearing in the background of his instagram posts, on his stream.

Hasan initially just acknowledges it with a short 'Oh yeah, that ain't mine' and that's it.

Eventually she, or rather hints of her, start appearing as well. A hand giving him a plate of food from just off camera, him muting himself and clearly talking to someone, Kaya being returned from a walk even though Hasan has been right there this whole time.

Everybody knows exactly what is going on and just plays along while chat is freaking out and trying to collect all the clues they can find.

A while later he starts mentioning ✨his girl✨ in conversation. Other people also start mentioning 'Hasan's partner' and from the way they talk about her it is clear that they haven't just known her for a few weeks. Like this thing has been going on for a while.

First time he actually mentions being in a relationship is him announcing he won't be streaming because he's going on a little anniversary trip with his girl.

Probably accidentally mentions his girl's name and tries to ignore it happened but eventually just rolls with it because the cat is out of the bag now anyway.

Totally lets her decide when and how to 'reveal' her face, if she even wants to at all.

The man can't keep himself from being all sappy and clingy with her though. She decides to appear on his stream or on the pod? She's sitting there with his arm around her the entire time, getting kisses on her temple, forehead or cheek at least once every hour.

unhinged alternatives:

Austin totally forgetting that nobody knows about this relationship yet and spilling the beans on stream or on the pod.

Hasan doing another Chadvice and just casually introduces one of the people there as his wife.

Hard launching the relationship by posting their wedding pictures.

IRL stream that is Hasan and QT trying to plan out a nursery. When someone in chat asks why the hell they are doing this, he just says 'Because my wife is pregnant you dumbass'.

Face reveal stream, but instead it is on Will's stream. Bestie!Will is still my fav, sorry don't make the rules.

A Fear& episode titled 'Hasan is no longer single' and them not saying anything about it until like three episodes later.

#words words words #hasan piker x reader #hasanabi x reader #blurbs

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lovelymessybubbly · 11 months

Note

Wahhh congrats on 1k omg !! I believe one of your fandoms was Mob Psycho? If so could I request Reigen :0 if not then ignore this !! -🍊

"i call this spell: teleknismesis !!"

here he issss the smart-mouthed yet clumsy reigen-kuuuun (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡ uwahh he is so bully-able, i constantly want to leave him in shambles. he is just one of those characters that looks exceptionally cute when a compete mess, in my opinion. and with such a cocky attitude, he definitely must be weak to tickling !!

will mob rescue him, i wonder ?? or maybe our pitiful reigen will just remain like this for a few hours... ufufu (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

please enjoy !! thank you so much for your continued support !!

#tamabijutsu #deviled egg #tickling #mob psycho tickling #ticklish!reigen #lee!reigen #get em tama!!

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jakeyt · 5 months

Text

Covet: Chapter 8 (Part 2.3 of 2)

PART 2 OF PART 2

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great.

Was.

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home.

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in.

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); smut (!!); angst; unprotected sex (p in v); jealousy; negative self-talk; negative body talk concerning body changes; talks of pregnancy; contemplation of terminating pregnancy; argument (includes: manipulation, misunderstanding, lying); masturbation (f! receiving); anxiety; stress; extreme feelings of sadness; abandonment issues; substance use (alcohol) (as usual, PLEASE lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter Word Count: 19.9k+

a/n: here it issss…. here’s the big thing: you’re going to be pissed w y/n a time or two & you’re just going to have to remember she’s sooo fucking stubborn. 🫠 (poor Jake) her healing journey starts sooner than you may think, though… 🖤

hopefully after you've read this part, you'll realize why i've included the bolded dates (i think most of you already knew what was coming though... lol). as the author, i believed the big event in this chapter required a timeline for you, as the reader, to keep track of order of events... makes things wrap together in a nice bow haha

@joshym, @alwaysonthemend, + @welightthefire, you three are so special to me and this story flourishes bc of your never ending support as i write. love u so much <3

Please enjoy the playlist as you read 🖤

enjoy!

-🌼🌼🌼-

August 27, 2022

The golden morning light was nearly blinding. You shielded your face in the arm of the body beneath you. It was almost too much. . . The warm body underneath you was almost too much.

You remembered having sex with him, talking to him. . . but the details were fuzzy. . . your body felt so relaxed. . . There was so much you couldn’t recollect, but at that moment, it wasn’t a concern. Because Jake was with you and it wouldn’t be this way for much longer. You wanted to relish in this.

Everything that had been swirling in your mind for days was still very real. . . and you knew the list of reasons this was a bad idea were endless. You wished there wasn’t a list of reasons that haunted you– the old and the new. But there was a list and at this point, the reasons were mocking you for being where you were at this moment.

Curled up in Jake, your round ass pushing against his thick cock, already hard. The heat that radiated from him, combined with the feeling of his body pressed against yours, made you sticky with sweat. Your body was on fire. But you didn’t want to leave him. You couldn’t leave him. This feeling, him. . . so safe and cozy.

This was a feeling you wanted to sink into. You blinked a few more times into the open air of your bedroom, seeing the dust particles floating in the rays of yellow sunlight flooding your room.

As much as you didn’t want to leave Jake’s body, you knew you had to start the day at some point. You tried to sit up. But you instantly regretted it. Your head felt fuzzy. Fuck.

Things were foggy as hell. This was always how you reacted to weed. One reason why you rarely smoked it. But you’d needed to last night. Needed that time, feeling free and loose. . . with Jake. Before your time with him came to its inevitable end.

Like it had become your daily routine, you started becoming consumed by several all-encompassing, nagging emotions. You hated how fucking complete you felt in his arms, in bed with him. . . but all it had taken were a few seconds passing before you started feeling the familiar, anxious spinning in your stomach. Turmoil.

Josh’s words from outside your bedroom, bouncing around in your head. The rules that you’d set in place for a reason– to protect you both (though, they hadn’t worked on your end). The image of Maya, so beautiful and attentive . . . Dammit. The way your heart sunk in your chest, the sadness rushing through you, made a mess of emotions in the pit of your stomach.

And you knew that was your body’s way of signaling to you that it was time. Time to end things.

No matter how much your heart lurched at the thought. Your eyes filled with unshed tears, dreading it.

But your body was persistent in communicating to you that it was the right move. To let him go.

You rejected it for just a small moment to turn and give him a kiss on the lips, your bare chest meeting his, which rose and fell underneath you.

Then you remembered–. The guys. In the living room. Shit.

You pulled away to pat his chest, trying to get him to come to. And he did, with one deep breath through his nose, blinking at you with sleepy eyes. He squinted, the sun in his eyes. You loved the way the light turned his eyes to dark honey. . .

Now is not the time, y/n.

As soon as you knew he was awake, you were scrambling out of bed, finding a big t-shirt in your dresser and putting it on. Then you bent over, searching your underwear drawer for a new pair that wasn’t a fucking thong. . . you had too many thongs.

“That ass,” he said, voice gruff and low from sleep. “Damn, baby.”

You instantly felt wetness gather at your folds. Not. Now.

Last night was the last time. And it was going to stay that way.

Underwear, underwear, under– yes!

Finding a pair of black panties, you slipped them on hastily before yanking on a pair of pajama shorts that were laying on the ground. As you wrapped your hair up into a quick ponytail, at your vanity, you made the mistake of looking in the mirror. The bed perfectly placed in the mirror’s path, and a sight from the bed made your breath catch in your throat.

Jake, in your bed, his long hair, still messy from sleep and sex. . . his deeply set, tired eyes. . . tanned skin, the perfect shade of brown after hours spent in the summer sun. The sight reflecting back at you was making your heart race. You caught your breath, taking in a sharp breath. The elbow, holding him up, while the other worked under the sheets. . . his eyes lust-filled and appreciating your exposed thighs. Fuck.

So, abandoning your hair, you decided to not ignore the need that thrummed between your thighs, making your heart beat wildly in your chest. When he was laying there looking like that, you couldn’t refuse. His defined pecs and fit biceps flexed with each pump of his fist. Your building arousal was already ruining your new pair of panties. Best to not dirty another pair, right?

Your legs walked on their own over to the bed while you stripped yourself of the clothes you’d just put on. He sat up, as your eyes surely told him of what you wanted. And in no time, you were on top of him, as he deliciously stretched you, opening you up for him. He held your ass for a moment, aiding you in your movements. His lips found your nipples, hardened and begging for his attention.

As he lifted his hips to start a rhythm inside of you, the pressure was just right, and his tip was massaging you exactly where you needed him. With every hard rock of his hips, you were pushing down against his thrusts. Languid, lazy sounds sighed from your mouth. . . The friction was heavenly. Both of you, relentless with your unsteady tempo of vigorous need– back and forth, back and forth.

He sensed it coming before you did, as you were too distracted by his handsome face. His mouth, opening in the slightest any time your walls clenched around him. Brows dipped in with deep concentration, balancing his view from where your bodies connected, and then back to your eyes. He reached between you, a skilled thumb making tight circles against your sensitive, swollen clit. And, much too soon, you were coming undone, the familiar burn in your belly, your body buzzing and walls fluttering around him at a rapid speed. You threw your head back, riding it out. You never wanted it to end. He felt so fucking good inside of you– filling you all the way up.

With one hand on your breast, and another on your hip, he used that as leverage to pull out of you. And, without thinking much of it, you got on all fours, knees digging into the mattress, wanting to bare your ass to him. You heard him let out a shaky breath, before he was following, raising to his knees. As soon as he was where he needed to be, he released, warm on your back. He gripped your ass with a strong hand, the flesh putty in his hands as you pushed back against him, your ass meeting his thighs.

More, more, more, more, mor–

And, without any stimulation, save for the feeling of him still spilling onto your back and his tight hold on your ass, you were finishing again, your body shaking, pussy clenching around nothing. Your arms almost gave out where they held you up. You tried to keep your whining quiet, remembering why you had been worried about your predicament before.

“Holy fucking shit,” he moaned, his tone throaty. “Did you just–? Again?”

“Y-yeah,” you sighed, feeling completely refreshed, your body still wracking from the effects of your orgasm. And finally, you let your arms give out. But before you could reach the mattress, he was pulling you back to him, sitting you on his lap again as he gave you a full kiss on the mouth, his tongue pushing through your lips.

You reciprocated, tangling your tongue with his, the sound of wet kisses encapsulated your room. The apartment was so quiet–silent, even–save for the sounds of your sighs. The world was nearly drowned out. The only thing that existed was Jake, the taste of his sweet mouth, and the feeling of his lips melding to yours.

But you broke from the escape, the silence of the apartment getting pierced by the telling signs of someone yawning loudly in the living room. You were up without even thinking about it. You hurriedly re-dressed, and before you opened the door, you glanced back at him.

“You were never in here,” you hushed, before shutting the door to go into the living room.

Thankfully, Sammy and Danny were still asleep. But your eyes found Josh, who was rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands.

“What time is it?” He grumbled. And as he closed his eyes with another yawn, you saw movement from the corner of your eye. You peeked from Josh to see Jake, dressed again, silently shutting your door and heading to his own bedroom.

As much as you wanted to go to him, you looked at the glowing green time on the oven. Your eyes bugged at the hour, and you rushed to check your schedule on the fridge.

Shit. While your mind was already tumbling with reasons to call it quits, you just added one more to the list. Until Jake, you’d never been so forgetful of your work schedule. But as of right now, your mind was way too preoccupied with him. You winced at the idea of becoming that forgetful with school. You had to be more responsible.

You had less than thirty minutes before you had to be walking into the Black and Gold.

“Y/n?” Josh called, still slowly coming to.

“It’s one in the afternoon,” you rushed out, practically sprinting to the bathroom, from where you finished your statement. “I’m gonna be late for fucking work.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

You’d been correct– ending up at the B&G ten minutes late. That had never happened before in the history of you working at the shop. It pissed you off to no end that you had let yourself be so irresponsible.

You spent your entire shift thinking of all the things you’d let take precedence in your life above your job and your school. . . In recent days, you’d spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking of Jake to the point of being stressed enough that he’d noticed, told his brother. . . which resulted in a night of getting high to rid yourself of the nerves. You’d let yourself partake in it even when you knew it made you so incredibly fuzzy. On a night where you worked the next day.

Then, there was the sex that had happened last night, this morning. . . making you lose track of time. There was one common denominator. He’d become too important. A distraction. And you feared being the same to him. You’d had your fun and now it was time to give it up.

You fucking hated the idea of having to do it– made tears moisten your eyes. But you would be okay. And Jake would definitely be okay. You weren’t to him what he was to you. (Why that felt wrong to think, you didn’t know. . .) He had a woman to lean back on, if he wanted one. A woman much more fit for him than you could ever be.

And, chances were, he was bound to leave what you had for her eventually, so you felt it best to end things now before he could. It would hurt you less to take the initiative now. You didn’t want to risk the pain that would come with him fully rejecting you for another. The idea of Jake leaving you high and dry like your mother had sounded horrible. And you did not want to experience it.

By the time you were turning off the lights and locking the doors to the store, you’d made up your mind. Tomorrow. You were going to rip the damn bandaid off. There were too many reasons indicating you needed to. Before it was too late.

-🌼🌼🌼-

August 28, 2022

He would be home any minute. Your leg was bouncing with pent up nerves that wouldn’t be released until you said what you needed to. Your palms were sweaty, making you need to repeatedly wipe them on the worn denim of your jeans. And anytime you’d wipe them off, you’d grab your phone off the counter, checking it unnecessarily. Because even after you’d wipe them, they’d still shake with nervous jitters, and you needed something to do with them.

The sound of the key unlocking the door made your stomach twist. Suddenly, you were questioning yourself. Questioning what you’d been planning on doing.

I’m not ready. I don’t want to do this. It can wait. It’s not time. I don’t want this.

But it was necessary.

And plenty of those thoughts had become too insistent for you to ignore. Even as you watched him set his guitar and amp down in the living room, through the opening of the kitchen. You were longing to ask him about his day. Or ask him to watch a tv show or movie with you. Tease him and make him follow you to bed. . .

But in spite of all of that, you knew what was right.

Don’t be selfish, y/n. You know what is best for him. For you. For both of you. Don’t you dare chicken out. Continuing this cycle of selfishness will end badly. You know it. Stick to the plan.

So, when he finally walked into the kitchen to cross off his day of work on his fridge calendar, humming what you assumed to be a new song. . .you decided to not waste time. It would hurt less.

Rip the bandaid clean off.

You cleared your throat before speaking, leaning even further into the kitchen counter. You wanted to sink into it. Hide. “Hey.”

He jumped, holding his chest. “You’ve gotta stop scaring me like that,” he laughed, crossing the day off his rehearsal schedule.

Then, when he looked over his shoulder at you, you almost lost your motivation.

Those eyes. . .

But you persisted. For you. For him.

“We need to talk,” you said, the words feeling thick in your throat.

And when he turned to face you fully, his brows were scrunched with confusion and concern.

“You okay?” He inquired. “I wondered why you didn’t talk to me when you got home from work last night. Is something happening at the Black and G–?”

Rip. It. Off.

“We’re done,” you stated. You suddenly felt completely frozen, time beginning to move around you much faster than you could keep up with. The words were trapped in the air with you, hanging there.

He just stared at you, eyes round and questioning. He blinked a couple times, his lips on the verge of a smirk, but ultimately staying in a straight line, as if not sure how to react. “What?”

Keep going.

“We’re done,” you repeated, the words coming out a little easier the second time. “I’m calling it quits. I can’t do this anymore.”

He took a couple steps towards you, then took them back. He turned, looking at the kitchen cabinets as a hand held his chin. He used one finger to scratch at a brow.

Still looking away, he spoke again. “Why?”

You felt the heartache begin again, not wanting to do what you knew you had to. Prior to this, you’d decided anytime you felt the sorrow creep up, you would replace it with anger. Fight the weak emotion with a stronger one. You’d bury the sad, and use anger instead. It would help you and him in the long run. It would.

“I hate when you fucking ask that,” you snapped, your head feeling heavy and the words wrong.

His brown eyes got big, shocked. “Where is this coming from?”

“I told you, Jake,” you said, clearing your throat to eliminate the tears. You want this. “I told you that night at the bowling alley. I said if one of us wanted to end this, the other one has to be okay with it, without any questions asked. That was a rule,” you reiterated, standing firm on the words you’d stupidly spoken in the past. They were your shaky wall of defense in this situation, where you felt defenseless against yourself. “And right now, I don’t want to answer questions. I just want to say it’s over and you be okay with it.”

He scoffed, scratching his cheek before running the hand through his hair. He leaned against the counter closest to him, across the kitchen from you. Come closer. Please.

But he didn’t. He just crossed his arms and pierced you with his dark eyes.

“That’s not how normal people do things, y/n,” he clarified, like he was talking to a child.

You didn’t have to fake anger in response to that. Don’t tell me things like I’m an idiot.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You fumed, your coolness fading quickly.

“Goddamn, y/n,” he swallowed hard and looked out the little window above your head, right above the lavender. “Stop acting so fuckin’ obtuse. You know exactly what I mean.”

“Yeah, that’s why I asked,” you griped sardonically, silently begging him to look at you as your eyes followed him. “Because I speak fucking asshole I knew what you meant by that. You’re right.”

He brought a hand up to his face, covering his eyes before letting it run down to rest at his chin. He was losing his patience. This should be good. Why didn’t it feel that way? This was what you wanted. He let his eyes rest on his feet, refusing to acknowledge your stare.

“I’m still trying to figure out where this is coming from,” he said, reiterating his prior question. “Yesterday morning, everything was normal. We were fine. How were you able to just turn all of that off?”

You were at a loss. How in depth were you supposed to go with him? Should you be honest? Or should you lie? Cover up the truth with blanket statements and lies? You weren’t sure. . .

So you just started talking. And a lie came out first.

“I had a quiz this past Friday and I failed it,” you said, the untrue words feeling dirty coming out of your mouth. Trying to cover up the lie with a truth, you continued. “I keep getting distracted and it’s never been like this for me before. Since my first day of Freshman year at Pratt, I’ve never failed a quiz.” And I still haven’t, you finished silently, guiltily. “I just know that the reason I’m so distracted is because of this,” you motioned between the two of you, even though he was still looking at the ground. “Because of us. It’s not healthy.”

He finally brought his gaze up from the floor, interlocking it with yours. And if you thought the guilt from lying was bad before, it was even worse as you looked into his eyes.

“How is the relationship we have not healthy?” He asked, truly wondering.

Relationship.

You decided to be as honest as possible to keep your guilty conscience at bay.

“For one, it’s distracting me from classes. And two, it’s not a relationship. It’s been a rule since the beginning–the number one rule, actually– and I made it a rule because I knew I couldn’t handle a relationship right now.” All of that was mostly honest. Doing great. “I have other things I need to be focusing on right now. . .dedicating my time to. And from the beginning, this has only been sex,” okay, that was a lie. “And I wanted it to be that way so when the time came for me to cut it off, it would be easier. I made it that way on purpose.”

The way he was watching you with rapt attention, actually hearing you out, it made your heart jump into your throat. I don’t want to be doing this right now. I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose him.

Don’t be selfish, y/n, your brutally honest inner voice combated you.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” He asked, his voice indicating he was eager to assist you however you may need.

Keep going.

You swallowed the tears, your voice low with the tears that vanished. “Yes, you can help me by not challenging this right now.”

He breathed in deeply, his jaw clenching. “It’s not that easy for me.”

“It has to be.”

This isn’t easy for me either.

“See, it’s always been like this with you,” he started, leaning a shoulder against the fridge, his face turning harder than before. “You think you can just control everything and everyone around you. But you can't, that's not how life works. There are other people in your life with real emotions–real feelings–that you don’t get to dictate.”

You felt utterly singled out, and it made your blood turn to fire in your veins.

Who is he to say all of this?

“Why do you want to put up with me when you view me so horribly anyways?” You spit out, your eyes growing wet in spite of yourself.

He saw the tears in your eyes, and on instinct, started walking towards you, his entire face softening in response. But you put up a hand to stop him, your rigid expression and body communicating for you.

“I don’t view you horribly,” he said, tone sincere. He sighed, stopping at the island between you, resting his hands stop it. “You know that.”

You watched the way his hands held so tightly to the counter. He was like his brother in a few ways, you’d come to notice. One of which being how passionate he could become when talking about something that meant a lot to him. And at this moment, you saw how deeply he felt for what he was saying. His entire body exuded his emotions— when he let them show. . .

And, for the past couple of months, you’d been lucky enough to witness him bringing those walls down. Especially during the past month of sleeping with him, growing intimate with him. . . In this moment, you despised the fact that you were so freely giving that up. You selfishly wanted to keep all of those pieces of him.

Frames of time fluttered through your mind, showing how he would watch you, so affectionately. You heard words that had been spoken, so caring and genuine. . .How patient he’d been so many times. . .

But, just now when he’d called you out on your control issues? Had he thought that all along? Had he felt animosity towards the way you liked control? Or, on the other side of the coin, had he only been pitying you all along? Putting up with you? Had he just started caring about you because he felt like he had to? You were the one who had pushed this thing between the two of you in the first place. . . maybe he hadn’t wanted it as badly as you. Maybe he’d just given in, and ended up sticking around for it because he felt bad for you and got free sex on his end.

He’d left the comfort of Maya for the chaos of you. You were sure he’d do it again if you gave him long enough. . . Because all you’d done was add trouble to his life with the way you naturally were. The obnoxious, broken, damaged person you were. Your baggage was heavy and you knew it was due time before it weighed him completely down.

“Well I’m sorry I’m such an inconvenience,” you fought back, guarded tears growing thicker in your eyes. You couldn’t will them away this time. “You’ve said what you wanted to say; it’s off your chest. So just let yourself be done with me,” you bitterly insisted. “Take a fucking breather from the ravaging storm that is me.”

“I never–,” he shook his head, looking away. A sharp breath had his lip curling as his hands went to comb through his hair. His eyes were wet when you saw them next. Fuck. Please don’t cry, baby. “That’s not what I fucking mean and you know it! Why are you always assuming the worst about me? Always.”

“I don’t!” You argued, not believing your words for a second. You knew he was right. The tears, still resting at your ducts, started trickling down your cheeks. “I just– I know I have shit wrong with me. I know I’m the most controlling fucking person. I know that. But I’ve been through too fucking much to believe that you could actually want me. You shouldn’t want me, Jake! I’m–,” you started, choking on a sob. “I don’t even–. . .” You went to meet him across the island, putting your forearms on the counter as you rested your head between them. You let the tears win, letting them flow easily. Relentless trails of mascara on your cheeks and the arms you were crying into, you were sure.

When you looked up to see him again, he was no longer standing there.

See, Jake? You don’t want to stay. Why would you? Leave while you can. But why do I feel like I need you to stay? How did it come to this?

Just as you were turning to look out the window to contemplate, he was back in the kitchen, a wet washcloth held in his hand.

Stop taking care of me. You’re better than this.

But before you could argue with him, he was coming around the island to meet you, touching the warm cloth to your dampened cheek. And, like the selfish person you were, you let him clean your cheeks of the blackened tracks.

You stopped him, midway through him tending to the left side of your face, grabbing the cloth from him. “I can take it from here,” you muttered pitifully. “Please stop doing this.”

He relented, giving the cloth and standing across from you. His eyes watched you conscientiously as you finished cleaning your face. You set the cloth down on the counter.

His brows were knitted when he spoke next. “Stop doing what?”

You choked on a dry sob. “Helping me,” you responded resolutely. And when it looked like he was about to fight you on it, you chose to bring out the knives and lies again. Don’t break, y/n. With your next words, you looked away from him. At your feet instead. Freshly painted, black toenails matching your heart.“I don’t want you to.”

You had to lie. You had to protect him and his future from you. He had to get rid of you to do what was best for himself. But when you peered up at him through your wet lashes again, you questioned your methods. A tear slipped down his cheek, and he quickly sniffed, bringing a hand to his face to get rid of the exposure of emotion.

He turned to look straight ahead, away from you. He looked up at the ceiling, putting his flexing hands in his front pockets.

When he looked at you next, his eyes were still wet, but there was a fire behind them. God, you fucking hated this. “Is that what you truly want? All of this? Gone? Over? You don’t want any of what we’ve had?”

You couldn’t stand seeing him like this. This needed to be over. Your heart couldn’t handle much more of this.

“I don’t want you,” you said, bile rising in your throat. Fucking liar. “I never wanted you as badly as I let on. I just wanted sex and you were an easy target because you live with me. Available whenever I needed you.” Your throat constricted, heart racing. You didn’t look away from him, pinning him with your eyes, trying your best to void them of any emotion. “And I don’t need you anymore,” you said, the words tight and constricting your opposing heart. “You’ve served your purpose.”

His lips curl into a shaky smile, mirroring shock and disbelief. Brown eyes, pooling with tears despite how hard set they are. “So you don’t love me?”

Love him? What?

And then it was rushing back.

Your mind, foggy and heart, completely transparent.

What you’d admitted to yourself and him in the hallway outside your room.

Had he said it back? The details were fading from your memory, blurry at best. You couldn’t remember.

Had you said it in response to him or just to expose yourself to him?

Did you love him? Truly?

You closed your eyes, needing to find a level ground as you felt completely shaky and unbalanced. How had you been so careless with your words?

What did you feel?

You know exactly how you feel, a calm, careful voice settled in your ear. You don’t have to deny it.

Yes, I do. If I do love him, I have to deny it. It’s what’s best for him.

“When did I say that?” You asked, avoiding it to start.

His eyes cleared, opening up as if he were getting somewhere with you.

You’re a coward, y/n.

“The other night,” he clarified, sniffling again. “When the guys were here.”

I know.

“I don’t remember saying it,” you stated, firm. “So, maybe I did,” you said, his eyes still hopeful. “But if I was high when I said it, there was no validity behind it. I wasn’t me. My head was in the clouds.” His jaw set, lips a hard line. Tense. “So it’s not fucking true. That’s something that someone would remember saying if they actually meant it. And I don’t.”

This was all a giant fucking mess. Why did it have to be like this?

He only stared at you, his nostrils flaring. His eyes were narrowed. His thoughts, most likely spinning. He just didn’t articulate any of the thoughts you knew to be buzzing in his head. He closed his eyes, pushing his thumb and pointer finger against his eyelids. When he opened them, the blank look on his features was worse than any anger he’d ever emitted.

The emotion was drained from him. Though, his hands were shaking as he untucked them into his front pockets.

“Okay,” he responded, his tone matching his empty expression. He took a deep breath and went to turn around to leave the kitchen, messing with his hair.

One of his nervous ticks, you thought, morosely.

But. . . You weren’t done. This couldn’t be it.

You suddenly didn’t want this conversation to be over. We aren’t done yet. There was no closure for me. No agreement on his end.

You’d made the terrible realization that once this talk was over, you two were over. Ripping the bandaid off didn’t seem so attractive anymore. It was stupid, but you were already missing him as you watched him walk away. The sight of him leaving made even more tears accumulate in your eyes. You knew he wasn’t done— and neither were you.

You snapped. “Jacob!”

Saying his name stopped him right before he could exit the kitchen.

His shoulders tensed as he turned slowly, facing you. His expressionless face now took on all of the emotion you knew he wanted to feel.

That’s it, you thought, challenging the man in front of you. Keep up with me.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” He snapped, patience completely gone.

The line was being drawn. And as invisible as it was, you could still swear you saw it being drawn in the space between you and where he stood.

“I want you to say that this is fucking over,” you fumed, your voice raising.

He laughed hotly, rolling his eyes. He rubbed his chin, contemplating his next words. “I don’t want it to be fucking over. I want you to stop whatever game you’re playing. I know you and I know this is coming from somewhere deep in the roots of your trauma.”

“Don’t you dare use my trauma against me, fucker!” You roared, your skin red hot.

He pointed a finger at you, accusing. “I am not using it against you! I’m trying to get you to snap out of this!”

“Snap out of what?!” You sneered back. You crossed your arms to hide the fact that you were shaking. “Finally being honest with you?!” You paused, a part of your heart break open of its own accord. “You were just going to fucking leave me anyway. This wasn’t meant to last. It never was.”

“Leave you?! That’s the last thing I want. I don’t want to leave you,” he begged you to understand.

Your heart pressed firmly to your chest with how hard it was pounding. “My own fucking mom did it, Jake! So what in the hell would stop you from doing it, too?” You blinked away the tears that came with the way you were hurting yourself with these words.

He brought two fisted hands to his eyes, his body stock still, but chest heaving as he let the words sit in the air around you.

The words hanging in the air were mocking you, though, and you needed to hear him speak to clear their torment.

“Ja—.”

“Do not let your trauma dictate who you choose to think I am. Don’t use it as a way to tell me who I am. I’m not your mom. I’m not the people who have left you,” he breathed deeply, finally showing you his eyes. They were red. And as he ferociously wiped at his cheeks yet again, you noticed why they were bloodshot. When had he started crying? His hands flattened next to him with his next words, spread out and making a point. “Stop acting like I’m someone I’m not when I’ve proven that wrong time and again by being there for you.”

Your heart swelled in your chest, wanting nothing more than to cross the room and kiss him. Let him know how much you needed him and how the words you’d spoken in the hallway were true.

But what’s best for him? His career? Remember how Josh said he didn’t need this right now? And neither do you.

“Well, I don’t want it,” you repeated your lie. “Accept that.”

Within seconds, his eyes shifted from sad and pleading to. . . Vacant. Right in front of your eyes, you witnessed how it felt to return back to square one with him.

And you couldn’t remember the last time you felt so fucking terrible.

“I accept it,” he relented, tone empty of any feeling. Come back to me. “We’re done.”

The way your heart fell all the way to your feet— how your knees felt as though they would buckle under the heavy weight of emotion— made you regret every single thing you’d said.

At that moment, you wanted to take it all back. But it was too late.

The man you saw in front of you wasn’t your Jake.

The man you saw was the one who’d entered your apartment on that destined day in May. Before you could even think to say anything to cut through the heaviness penetrating the room, he was gone.

And you were giving into the way your knees begged to let you fall and you did, back against the opposite side of the island so he couldn’t see you. The tears fell, silent and unrelenting, as you heard the front door open and harshly close. Signaling the end you didn’t want, whatsoever.

-🌼🌼🌼-

October 2, 2022

A little over one month later. . .

You woke up slowly, not wanting to face the day.

Life was stressful and weird right now, and every time your eyes blinked open to face a new morning, you dreaded what the day might come with.

Thankfully today, you had a distraction from the sadness of life. You were meeting with Theo across town at a coffee shop to study for an upcoming exam in one of your more studious courses.

When you’d created your course schedule for this semester, you’d loaded yourself down with 12 credits in required courses, and 4 credits in electives. You’d thought it to be a good idea: make your senior year count with a giant ass course load. Next semester was outlined as well. . . With 16 credits of its own.

But, it was not the best idea.

It was causing waves upon waves of stress that you really didn’t need. You were grateful for how it helped (a little) in distracting you from your sorrow after losing what you had with Jake. . . But it made you dread going to school even more than you already did. You weren’t able to catch your breath. You’d never dreaded school until recently. You were going to school for writing when you still found yourself lacking a passion for it. The only thing that you looked forward to were the few music courses you had to take for your minor.

The giant course load, the long hours at the B&G now that Josh only worked one day a week, Jake’s presence, Jake’s lack of presence.

Your group of people had become extremely absent due to constantly working in the recording studio. Yes, recording studio. You were beyond proud and completely happy for them. . . but you’d hardly seen any of them for the past month. Even the one who lived with you. . . And the one thing you still had after you broke things off with Jake was at least having the opportunity to look at him every now and then.

And, although you wouldn’t speak it out loud, you were so very glad that neither of you had brought up the prospect of him moving out amidst that terrible conversation in the kitchen. All you had left with him was the occasional glance (you to him, of course; he never looked at you anymore).

Humiliating as it was, you hated the idea of him moving out. Even though you knew it would be coming sooner rather than later with his career picking up. But, even though he still lived with you, your schedules never aligned for you to see him much. The guys were recording artists now. They’d spent all of September, working with their manager as they accepted a record deal and started the process of recording music.

It was truly what all of their dreams were made of, and it was what you wanted Jake to have all along. . . But you selfishly missed seeing him. You were excited for him with what the future might bring, but you were also dreading his complete and utter lack of presence in your life. . . The thoughts of it all were draining you.

All of the stress over that and school, had even started causing you to have a super upset stomach— you were vomiting every day from all that weighed on your mind – the jumbled mess your life had become. So, that’s why you’d made the executive decision to create some sort of schedule of things to distract you. You cleaned every Saturday evening, you met with Theo every Sunday, you jogged every morning like you used to (especially since you’d started fucking stress eating). . .

You’d even taken time to try and healthily write thoughts in your journal, rather than keeping them all in your messy head. Although, all they did was translate as a depressing, convoluted mess on the pages.

But none of your coping strategies were truly what you wanted. What you were craving most was the person you’d pushed out of your life. The person who was now gone more than he was home. And when he was home, and you were able to catch a glimpse of him, all it did was hurt to look at him. Things were tense; you couldn’t even talk to him the way you wanted. It just hurt to be near him at all. But you wanted him. You just wanted him in ways you knew you couldn’t have him. Especially after you’d been the one to break things off.

You were upset that you’d gotten into anything with him in the first place. You knew it wasn’t meant to last, but you’d still let yourself get caught up in him. It had been impossible not to. It was all so natural with him. It was a giant joke that the universe had cast on your life: the one person you wanted was the one you could never have.

-🌼🌼🌼-

October 8, 2022

Your boobs were hurting like you were about to start your period.

Anytime they felt heavy, looked bigger, or itched, you knew it was coming.

A telling sign. And for a week or two, they’d been that way.

It made you think about checking the period tracker app on your phone— see when it was coming. And when you had checked it, you realized you were late.

It’s because of all of the fucking stress, you thought, deducing it to only that to keep from worrying about anything else. There was no way it was anything else anyway.

The only person you’d had sex with in recent months was Jake and he always pulled out. There was also the added piece of how you’d been weaning off of birth control for the past several months. Late periods were known to occur while going off of that particular drug.

You were checking the toilet paper every time you went pee, waiting to see blood on it. And when you finally did see just the slightest bit of blood, you decided to check for tampons in your bathroom cabinet.

Aaand. . . You realized you were out of them.

Needing to go to Walmart for a few groceries anyway (you’d eaten all of the Cosmic Brownies you’d recently bought and needed more immediately), you decided to make a quick run for necessities.

-🌼🌼🌼-

It took you longer than you had planned trying to find a box of damn tampons. Walmart was sold out of your go-to’s, and searching Google to figure out a good environmentally-friendly dupe was harder than you’d anticipated.

But, it must have been your lucky day. Because, as you stood there, a graying woman in the tell-tale blue vest came up with totes to stock the shelves. And, as she started unloading, you saw a box of your normal brand of products in a tote.

Walking over, you started to kindly ask if you could have one of the boxes of tampons in her tote. . .but the smell of her perfume was so strong and outrageously floral– you could smell every hint of artificial rose. Your stomach churned at the obtrusion to your nose, so you backed away a bit to gain your bearings.

You went ahead and asked once you’d settled back a foot or two. When she smiled back at you, you felt bad for being so grossed out by the smell of her perfume, but damn she’d layered it on thick . . .

“Which kind, sweetheart?” Her voice wobbled with her age, the hump in her back much more prominent when she went to bend down to grab it for you.

You extended a delicate hand, touching her frail arm to stop her. “Oh, ma’am,” you said, causing her to look up at you. “You don’t have to get them out. I can do it.” She raised a brow, so you hastily added, “If you don’t mind, of course.”

It took everything in you to not help her up from her slightly bent position, as you didn’t want to break any boundaries. You also weren’t sure if you could handle being so close to her with the way she smelled like an artificial flower shop. . .your tummy was still rolling with the scent and you didn’t want to puke on the poor thing.

When she stood back up, as straight as she could, her smile was bright behind her magenta lipstick.

“Oh, sweetie,” she winked a glassy eye, placing her hand on your arm this time. You smiled as she continued, “You are one of the rare ones, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?” You giggled, holding your nose a bit when her hand came up to touch you. How much of the stuff had she sprayed on herself?

“Willing to help your elders?” She questioned, thankfully letting go and stepping back again.

You took a breath and blinked, not expecting that. “Oh, of course. I wouldn’t ever think of doing anything different,” you shook your head, your grin sticking to your lips. “I don’t want you having to do that for me.”

“Well, you are just too sweet, honey. If you’re sure, I’m going to continue stocking. You go ahead and get it out, honey.”

With that, she walked back to her prior job.

And when you bent to get your tampons, your stomach lurched. Again. Just like it’d been doing for the past week or so. But, you felt like you might actually vomit, and you didn’t want to do that in the Walmart totes. So, you put a hand to your mouth when you stood back up.

The woman—Wanda, her name tag said— looked over at you. Her brow wrinkled when she asked, “You alright, honey?”

Swallowing, you nodded, knitting a brow. “Oh, yeah. Don’t you worry about me.”

She nodded back, almost turning back to her job when she stopped. “You know, it’s so funny. I remember once back in my day, when I was around your age, I was in an aisle just like this one. . . Getting my own napkins, searching high and low for them,” she chuckled. You smiled kindly, unsure of why she was telling you this. You were about to turn on your heel with a quick goodbye when her voice stopped you. “But, it’s funny, I searched so hard that day, and later that week. . . I found out I was pregnant!” She got a kick out of that one, slapping her tiny thigh. “I’d been late for weeks.”

In contrast to her humorous state, your stomach sank. . . Plummeting to your knees.

But before you could say anything back, she was being called by her supervisor to help locate an item. She waved a quick goodbye, and you barely registered it. Your thoughts were going insane.

No. There was no way. You knew you were late. . . But you weren’t that late.

School had just been stressful. Your anxiety building up to you being sick and everyth—. Fuck. Your nausea.

No. No no no no.

It wasn’t possible.

Standing stock still in that aisle, you measured your thoughts the best you could. Tried to make them all slow the fuck down. Flashbacks of Jake infiltrated your mind, him being the only one to have aided in that possibility.

The only guy you’d slept with in months. And he always, always pulled out. Without fail. Fuck. Absolutely not. Why were you even thinking of him? Of that? Entertaining that thought?

It wouldn’t have even been a blip of an idea had that lady not mentioned anything. Hurriedly, you scampered down the aisle, wanting to get out of dodge of the ladies’ aisle. But just as you’d passed the pregnancy tests, you stopped in your tracks, walking back to them.

There is no fucking way this is possible, you thought. You shook your head, almost continuing out of the aisle again.

But. That dreadful voice nagged at you, causing you to stay in your place.

Better safe than sorry, y/n, it seemed to remark smartly to you. What’s the harm in checking?

And without really thinking, you were getting out your phone to search for the most accurate tests. You weren’t about to get a false positive that might freak you out for no reason. As you navigated the best brands on a blog, bile rose in your throat, your tummy doing somersaults.

You didn’t want to think about it as you eyed the Clear Blue tests. This was stupid anyway. But you went to grab one, in spite of you knowing you literally weren’t pregnant.

You didn’t know why you were fucking embarrassed as you reached for the box of tests. It wasn’t like you weren’t a grown ass fucking woman. And it wasn’t like you were actually pregnant. There was no way in hell. This was just a precaution to prove to yourself that you were overthinking things. There was no way.

Every single time you’d been with Jake, he’d pulled out. Every. Single. Ti–.

Then, it came back. The night you’d gotten high on Josh’s fucking green.

Fuck.

It had been one of the most euphoric times you’d had sex with Jake. That much you could remember–and you hadn’t forgotten how good it had felt for a damn second. And, the more you thought about it. . . It dawned on you as your stomach rolled.

Knowing how into it you’d been. . . How good it had been. The weed hindering your decision— probably hadn’t used fucking protection then.

Dammit.

Most likely, you knew he hadn’t pulled out. You’d both been so out of it. . . too lost in the moment. (A moment that you had, admittedly, been waiting for– feeling his naked cock inside of you, throbbing as he released his hot seed inside of you. . .)

And, as you stood under the judging, bright fluorescent lights of fucking Wally World, the words were coming back to you. . . the entire moment was flooding back to you. Whether you wanted it to or not.

You felt your legs quiver, your heat clenched around him as your clit twitched with need.

So close. Fuck.

His eyes rolled, his lids shutting with the feeling. He bit his pink lip. His lips, still swollen from your kisses and shiny from your release. The butterflies in your stomach started fluttering ferociously, the familiar feeling overtaking you as your body trembled– your nerves humming.

You were about to finish. And you had to do it with him.

Completely.

“Y/n,” he gasped, warning you. “I’m going to fucking cum.”

You felt his cock pulse inside of you, confirming his words.

“I know,” you said, for the third time. “But I need to feel you. I want you to finish inside of me.”

His eyes bugged. “Y/n– fuck. No. No. You are under the influence. You don’t want–.”

You felt your chest flare with irritation at his words. “Jake, I swear to fuck,” you whined, your eyes shutting as one particular nudge of his cock against your folds pushed you nearly over the edge. “Please, Jake. Please, baby. I promise you won’t be taking advantage or some shit. I need it. Please. Let me have it. Just this one time.”

Let our last time be special, you thought. You tried to let your eyes echo your thoughts, willing him to understand.

He seemed to, because his next words were less apprehensive– an air of eagerness and an air of excitement painting his tone with his next words. “Are you sure?”

“More than sure,” you reassured, smoothing your thumb across his sharp cheekbone.

And with one last buck from his hips, your clit twitched and your legs turned to Jell-o. All composure was lost–shuddering and heart chanting his name.

Then, with a final groaned growl, his eyelids drooped, and his irises hazily watched you. His mouth relaxed to an ‘o’ shape, just the same as it did when he played his beloved instrument. You felt the glorious feeling of his release, as he spilled warm and plentiful inside of you.

You remember now that, in your hazy state, you’d banked on everything being okay. Because you were going to get a Plan B. . .

But, there’d never been a Plan B.

You felt a cold sweat develop on your forehead as your hands became clammy with fear. Your hand trembled as you held the box of Clear Blue tests tightly to your chest.

You didn’t need this. Fuck. He didn’t need this.

It was just a fluke. There was no way. It was one time.

So, that’s why, when you reached out to get a box of First Response tests, you knew it was just to back up what you knew.

Two different types of tests to confirm the truth. Double reassurance.

It was not possible at all that you were pregnant. How fucking often does it happen after just one time? An hour later, when you got home, you decided to push the tests all the way to the back of your underwear drawer.

You decided to hide them because you knew it was stupid to even begin to think of the impossible. And you were not about to entertain such an asinine idea.

-🌼🌼🌼-

October 15, 2022

You put off taking the test for as long as you possibly could. Tried to ignore the fact that it was even in your drawer.

Even though you knew there was a chance that you were, you didn’t want to sit on it, in the case that it might not be true. Because it more than likely wasn’t. But when that week trickled into the next, and you still hadn’t been greeted by Aunt Flo, you started getting more and more worried.

And the puking didn’t let up for anything. . . In fact, only getting progressively worse.

Which, on the Saturday of the next week, clicked as a horrid sign to you.

No.

Surely the fuck not. It was just stress. There was no harm in taking the test to prove yourself right. So, you gave in and went to grab the test after you’d done your newly scheduled weekly cleaning of the apartment, that next Saturday night. You decided it was ideal to do it then since Jake was gone performing at another festival with the guys.

Halloween-themed festival this time. . . And as fun as it’d sounded, you knew when Josh had texted you about it that there was no way in hell you were going to go to that.

Biggest reason being that you and Jake were still not on speaking terms, and you didn’t want to test those waters. You also didn’t want to run the risk of seeing Maya. Because you already knew that seeing her might actually make you keel over and vomit.

And also, Elsie was too busy to attend, so you for goddamned sure weren’t going to attend and experience anything negative without your wingwoman. So, you’d given a half-assed, ridiculous excuse of homework. Thankfully, he was wonderfully Josh and didn’t give you any trouble over it.

But, it meant Jake was gone tonight, and you could take the test without running into him. The night was still young, and you had plenty of time to get it done and out of the way before he got back.

Grabbing the tests felt like you were taking a giant leap into a field of the unknown and that was terrifying as hell to you. But you didn’t let it stop you from reaching your shaking hand into the deepest tresses of your underwear drawer. Once in hand, you rushed to the bathroom.

Calm down, y/n. Just breathe, you coached yourself, as you read the giant Over 99% Accurate! at the top of each box. Chances are very slim. You just have to take the tests.

You read the instructions on the back of each box at least five times. Each box had three different forms of tests: two regular tests and one digital for both brands. And you were about to pee on all six.

Wait. That might not work. How do you even stall your fuckin’ pee like that? For six tests? And still be totally sure it’s accurate? You didn’t want to chance inaccuracy of any kind, so you thought of your next best option. On a whim, you squatted to look in the under-sink cabinet for Dixie cups. You could not for the life of you remember the last time you bought those, but maybe. . .

Aha!

Shoved to the back of the cabinet, forgotten, was a dispenser you now remember as Elsie’s. Her dental routine, always having been extensive, now coming in extremely handy. Once you had your hands on it, you pulled one cup sticking out of the top.

Last one. Damn. Lucky day.

Let’s just keep getting lucky, then.

So, you sat down to pee, after reviewing the instructions for the both brands of sticks once more.

And, once you’d peed in the cup, washed your hands, and built up the final bit of courage to do it, you opened the boxes. As quickly as you could, you got all six out, unwrapped them, and then dipped each tab in the little cup. Once you felt they’d all been dipped the perfect amount, you laid them out on the counter and set the timer on your phone.

All six laid there, taunting you and your stupid, careless decision. The two digitals next to one another, blinked with the time until results appeared. The four other tests’ screens, all got colored, one-by-one by your pee. Gross.

Deciding you couldn’t watch, you went ahead and fed Stevie during the waiting period. You left your phone on the counter, too, the volume turned up all the way so you’d be able to hear the alarm.

Just before you threw the boxes away in the kitchen, you read the backs of them once more. One part stuck out to you, the piece of information you were reading, both reassuring you and terrifying you all at once.

“This pregnancy test detects the “pregnancy hormone” (hCG), which starts showing up in your urine shortly after implantation. Plus, its DualSense(TM) Technology may help prevent false positives in the very small number of non-pregnant women who may have low levels of hCG in their urine.”

At least I know they’ll show me accurate results. Like the fact that I’m not pregnant, you recited, once more.

You bent over to feed your fluffy gray cat, but when you did, you felt the usual wave of sickness flood your senses. But there was no stopping it like you were sometimes able to do. Thankfully, you were able to get her food in the dish and still make it back over to the toilet, in time to empty the contents of your stomach.

And, as if on cue, just as you flushed it down, the timer on your phone went off.

You suddenly wanted Elsie there with you, holding your hand as you met your fate. But you quickly pushed that to the side, remembering that this was on you. This was your mistake to face. And your body. You had to be the one to make all of the choices that followed any possible, unwanted result. You had to face this alone. This was on you.

By The Seaside’s cheery tone did not match your sick tummy or the dread that was pooling at the bottom of it. It was as though bricks had been piled there, keeping you on the ground until the tone started getting so infuriating, you couldn’t take the sound any longer. You also didn’t want to wait so long to possibly get inaccurate results.

Your eyes were pinched shut as you stood up. Yes, to keep the dizziness subdued, but mostly out of fear for what awaited you on the countertop. When you opened your eyes, you directed your sight first to your phone, pressing the STOP button to turn off the seriously grating alarm tone.

Before you even glimpsed the counter holding your (possible) future, you knew what you were going to see.

And you were proven terribly correct.

Four tests with two pink lines on each screen. Two digitals saying two words you didn’t want to think true. . .

YES (with a stupid little plus sign) on one and Pregnant, big, fat, and bold on the other.

Fitting. Big and fat. Just like I’m about to fucking be.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You laid in bed crying for hours. You didn’t even remember getting to your bed. But by some miracle you did. And you never wanted to leave it. This was the last thing you fucking wanted. Really.

You avoided touching your stomach for a while, not wanting to make any association to the unspeakable reality of your situation.

A fucking baby wasn’t in the cards at all. It couldn’t be.

You could not have this baby. No way, no how. You and Jake weren’t ever going to work as a couple. For prior reasons and because you fucking stomped out any of that possibility with the hateful, untrue things you’d told him in August.

Then, there was the career aspect. If you were afraid of Jake compromising his career for you, you knew he would most probably (most definitely) put his career on hold for his own fucking kid. And you refused to let that happen. It was not an option for a baby to get in the way of the lifelong dream he was finally living out. He was more important than that being halted for a barely-there kid.

You still had no earthly clue what the fuck you were going to do with your life, but even you refused to quit your life for a baby you didn’t want. Before you could schedule the appointment, though, you were sobbing yourself to sleep.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You woke to the telling sound of the front door opening and closing.

Your eyes were difficult to open. But, as you pried your red and puffy lids open, you squinted at your phone screen to see a text from Els and the fact that it was 2:30 a.m.

Dear god, where has he been?, you thought, irritated at being woken at an ungodly hour on this wretched night. All you wanted to do was sleep.

But, you couldn’t stop yourself from contemplating where he’d been. . . you soon regretted the train of thought. Because, you knew exactly why he’d been out so late. It was the same reason he used to stay out late. Women. Now, it was Maya, most likely.

You blew into yet another tissue from your bedside table. The disgusting pile of dirty kleenex from your delightful evening had come to cover the pretty white painted wood.

Just like this horrid situation is going to take over my life if I don't stop it from happening.

Taking comfort in what you could control in the present, you decided to get off of your worthless ass to throw away the tissues in your bedroom’s trash basket.

Shit.

The trash.

Without giving a thought what Jake’s reaction would be to your swollen red face, you made a beeline from your bedroom to the kitchen’s waste bin.

Gratefully, he was nowhere to be seen. And when you heard the shower turn on, you knew you were safe for a bit. So you hurriedly wrapped up the bag and ran it down the concrete stairs to the complex’s dumpster. On the way back up the stairs, you rushed, too, as you didn’t want to risk seeing Jake at all. You didn’t know how long he’d be in the shower, and considering it was late, you figured he’d be in and out.

Right before you were able to grace the last step on your way up the stairs, you nearly tripped.

And, just as you gasped, catching yourself from mid-fall, you also protectively grabbed another part of your body.

Only on instinct, you defended the choice.

But as you made the rest of the way to the apartment, you didn’t move the hand from the bottom of your belly.

You couldn’t defend that.

To your relief, when you made it back up, hesitantly opening the door, you realized Jake was still in the shower. As you put a new bag in, you had to let go of your tummy. And it was fine. You didn’t miss the contact.

It was just instinct before.

But, just as you finished with your job, you were no longer alone.

You watched him leave the bathroom, towel around his waist. The waist you’d hungrily gripped so many times before. . . But, in recent times’ fashion, he didn’t look your way for even a millisecond. You knew why. You knew you’d been an asshole and said terrible things you could never take back.

You said what you did for good reason, your inner, brutally honest voice reminded you for the 80th time in the past month.

For as long as you could, you let your eyes follow his body, surely still warm from his shower. He was so completely handsome. His long, dark, wet hair, sticking to his tanned, broad shoulders, which shined with water droplets. Droplets that trickled to dip below the towel at his waist. . .just as you’d witnessed them do before.

Before. Better times.

Though, as soon as he was in your line of sight, he was gone.

Minutes later, you were back in the safety of your bed, trying to not think about your roommate, wet and possibly naked next door as you searched Google for a Planned Parenthood near you.

And, as you were scheduling your appointment, you refused to acknowledge the soft thoughts that were entering your brain.

A baby. Not so bad. . .Soft. Cuddly. Sweet. Yours. . .

Jake’s.

But before you could hit the precipice of overthought, you reminded yourself that it was unreasonable and it would be selfish to keep the baby. It would be you halting Jake in one more way.

And, just as you were tiptoeing the edge of a deep slumber, an even more devastating thought entered your mind.

You could absolutely not have this child.

Because, based on your tumultuous past of mistreating other people, how would this poor, innocent baby be any different? Be safe from you? Even with the gut-wrenching thoughts, you fell into sleep easily. Crying always took it out of you. Now you could blame part of it on the life you were growing inside of you.

Without thinking of it, your hand found your still-flat belly again as you drifted off. . .

But, when you did, your sleep was not that easy. Your dreams, ever-vivid. A mixture of wonderful, pastel-colored moments with a giggling baby, a glowy morning light tickling her pretty features. . .

Then the terrible ones where you saw yourself as the exact person who’d hurt you most. . .Your mother.

-🌼🌼🌼-

October 29, 2022

Unbeknownst to you at the time you’d scheduled your Planned Parenthood appointment, you’d planned it for the same day as Josh’s annual Halloween bash.

The one he would be hosting at your house, just as he always had. And, he’d planned it when he always did. The Saturday before Halloween. You just hadn’t thought of it when you’d scheduled.

So many people in your home, on the day of an appointment for which you’d had equal parts apprehensiveness and eagerness. . . maybe slightly more apprehensive. Either way, they were two completely different emotions. And you weren’t sure how in the hell you’d handle them once the deed was actually done. . . So the prospect of coming back to an apartment full of people to feel it all was not your favorite.

Good thing was, you’d at least been able to reschedule your appointment for earlier in the day, which would end up giving you plenty of time to cry and cope on the drive home, get back home, cope some more, and then dress up. . . And then you’d be fine. . . right?

You’d decided to put off the appointment for as long as you felt like you could. The night you’d found out had been a shitshow of emotions. But when you awoke the next day, there had been a new light that hadn’t appeared the night before when you’d read the tests.

A light that left you feeling unsure of ending it so quickly. You just hadn’t felt totally comfortable going in so soon without giving it time. You’d wanted time to process it. So, you’d scheduled it far enough out to do so.

Two weeks. You decided that giving yourself two weeks to really think it through, would help you have enough leeway to think and come to a sensible conclusion.

But. . . you still hadn’t come to one. Not really.

You’d at least had the two weeks on your own, the apartment being void of Jake. The boys’ record label had suggested going to a cabin in the middle of the woods to write music and spend that time together, just them. They’d left roughly midway through the first week after you’d found out. Much as you wanted to deny it, you had missed him. His presence. But him being gone had been what you needed to thoroughly digest it all. Theorize. Imagine all kinds of scenarios for you and the baby.

But the days and the nights were different– a total contrast of each other. And you’d bounced back and forth between the strong, all encompassing feelings for long enough that you’d made your decision. Even though it wasn’t necessarily an easy decision, you knew it was what needed to happen.

Most nights, you fell asleep, holding your belly (a little excited by it growing just the slightest bit in the past two weeks). . . You’d come to the same conclusion anytime your head hit the pillow. The euphoric, pastel dreams. The precious baby you could hold and love, safe in your arms.

You knew what you wanted at those moments and it felt heavenly, honestly. . .

But the utter trainwreck of thoughts that plagued you in the daytime were what had you getting into your car, putting the clinic in your Maps app. Tumbling between your thoughts of not harming Jake and not becoming your mother and harming the child, you’d made the final decision of what was best for all parties involved.

Especially the baby you held in your womb.

Your hand went to its natural resting place, the bottom of your faintly protruding tummy, where you imagined your baby growing steadily. You hadn’t researched how big it was or even let yourself do the math of how far along you were. No tracker apps. No research. It would keep you disconnected enough to go through with the most beneficial option for everyone.

Avoiding all of the fun things had been difficult, as you’d spent every waking minute thinking about the life inside of you. The baby motivated you. Kept you going when you started feeling sad. . . Weird as it was, the tiny little bean in your belly was inspiring you on a daily basis.

But, as you came to the first stoplight on your journey, you remembered this was best.

The appointment was at the Hempstead clinic. You’d made it at that location, forty minutes away from your home, in the hopes you wouldn’t see anyone you knew. No one knew about the life inside of you and you had decided it probably needed to stay that way.

It had become increasingly burdensome to keep it from your Elsie. There’d never been a time in your life where you didn’t tell her everything. Keeping the thing with Jake from her had already been hard enough, so adding a baby to the mix made it rise tenfold. Any time she Facetimed you, texted you, or called you, you wanted to tell her. A couple of times you almost slipped up.

But telling her that would mean admitting everything about you and Jake. The sex. The feelings you’d developed. The way you’d cut things off. . .

And you didn’t want her advice. Weren’t ready for the way she’d react to it all. She always seemed to conflict with your ideas on things like this. . . the hard decisions you’d make. She was notorious for saying you ��make things too hard for yourself” and to “let go of the heaviness”, but all you normally heard was “I don’t understand what you’re feeling, but I’m going to tell you this worthless piece of advice anyway.” You knew she’d judge how you ended things. She’d question it. Quiz you.

Now was not the time for any of that. You already had your constant, terribly rude voice of reason that coached you through the tough things. So, as much as it tempted you, you didn’t dare mention any of it to your sister: your time with Jake or what it had ended up producing in your uterus.

(There was also the crippling fear that she may slip up and tell Josh. . .and he was the last person you wanted to find out. . .The fear of disappointing him two times the amount as before.)

But, at this moment, as you joined the crazy busy traffic on the highway, soul music lifting your spirits as high as they could go, you wished she was there to talk it through with you. So for the thousandth time, you tried doing it yourself. The same thoughts you’d gone over and over for the past two weeks.

The first thing you thought of every time your mind started rambling was what it could and would honestly, truthfully be like.

How could you actually make it work?

Usually, this was where you’d lose hope, telling yourself you absolutely couldn’t make it work. . . start derailing from the possibility of happiness. . . but as that certain Aretha Franklin song came on your fucking shuffle. . .

Like an eagle protects his nest, for you I'll do my best

Stand by you like a tree and dare anybody to try and move me

Darlin' in you I've found, strength where I was torn down

I don't know what's in store, but together we can open any door

The lyrics inspired your thoughts to take a surprising turn for a. . . promising, positive outlook.

There was most likely a way you could make sure to hold Jake to his dream. You could encourage him to stay on track. You’d been able to talk through things with him before. Even though things were weird now, you could do it again. . . probably. Hopefully. Do what you always did and make a list of reasons why he should, get him to understand the importance of him not giving up on it. . .

Then the darkness filtered in a bit, reminding you of how hateful you’d been to him during your last conversation. Would he listen to you? Could you blame him if he didn’t want to? And the recycled thought of how toxic you were. . . You’d cared so deeply for him and still allowed yourself to talk that way to him to protect him. What in the hell would you say to your child to protect it in the future? Why was your idea of loving someone so fucked up?

Could you fix that? Figure it out?

At the very least, you could try. For your baby. For you.

You merged lanes, the track slipping into the next. You turned the volume down to hear your thoughts. Give them your attention.

How would you raise the baby? As roommates? Weird. Friends? Sad. You couldn’t cross the territory from before again. That would make things too complicated for the baby. . .And probably for you while you figured things out. Getting lost in him again wasn’t an option. The glorious fucking– it wasn’t an option. Did he even want that? Probably the fuck not. . . But you knew he’d make something work for the baby. . . He’d make sure the baby felt safe with an arrangement between the two of you. You knew the kind heart he held in his chest.

You could do it as friends and make it okay. You could. Even if it broke your heart to only be his friend as you raised a baby together. You would do it for your baby. For him. You would do it for him–because you'd cut things off with him for a reason. A solid reason. And a baby didn’t change that.

In fact, a baby affirmed that it stayed the way you had made it. . . You’d made a mess and he didn’t need to be distracted by you. You could share the baby, yes, but you were the obvious primary caretaker. You’d take over whenever he was away or needed time to focus. . . It wouldn’t be fully on him to handle a baby.

It would barely be on him. You were the mom. This was your thing.

But, it would be fully on him to handle your bullshit. You weren’t worthy of a relationship like he could offer. And he didn’t need to be on your healing journey with you while he pursued what made him feel happy and fulfilled. Just like the rules had stated: you weren’t his responsibility.

Responsibility. . .he didn’t need to have any with the baby, honestly. He didn’t need to be involved. Only if he wanted to be. You weren’t going to force him.

But damn, you wanted him there for all of it. From birth up until the day of college graduation. . .

The sound of your phone ringing through Hands Free interrupted your train of thought, right as you got on the exit you needed to take to get you closer to the clinic. You didn’t even look at the caller ID as you pressed the answer button, focusing on the tricky road you’d made it to instead. You knew it was probably Josh or Elsie, calling to figure out something about tonight.

“Hello?” you said, loud enough for the other person to hear, starting the conversation.

“Hey.”

The voice you heard through the sound system of your car was almost enough to make you veer off of the roads, actually making you swerve the slightest bit.

Jake. Why was he calling?

“H-hey,” you stuttered, not sure where to even begin in conversation with him. You hadn’t spoken for a damned month, and now you knew you were carrying his baby. . . things were strange. Altered. Poles apart from before. You covered your wavering response with as much truth as you could tell. “Sorry, driving on some weird roads. On my way to a doctor’s appointment right now.”

“It’s fine,” he responded, voice hard and clipped. Unfamiliar. He’s not your Jake. Your heart fell as you felt that newfound (or re-found?) tension fill the conversation. “Just calling to tell you I’m leaving my key with Josh so he can get in to decorate. Thought you’d wanna know.”

Your brow wrinkled, suddenly curious and a little irritated. “Josh has a key. . .?” You took another exit that indicated how many miles you had left until your destination.

“I lost the little fuckin’ thing,” Josh’s voice now reverbrated, grainy through your speakers. You smiled at the sound of him, but turned down the volume to make it less overpowering, in case he talked again. “I’m so sorry, love!”

“It’s fine, Joshy,” you conceded with a sigh. “Hope I don’t get a burglar or some shit thanks to you,” you were joking, but also completely serious. “You’re replacing the entire apartment if that happens.”

“You’ve got it, Mama,” he responded dutifully.

But the only thing you could hear was mama. . .Mama, mama. . .fuck.

Your hands started sweating as you noticed your Map had you down to three minutes until you made it. Rather than making it obvious that you were lost in thought, you started talking. Using it as a way to distract yourself as well. (More so for yourself, if you were being honest.)

“I thought Elsie was coming to help you? She has one.”

“Her plane got delayed and she’s going to be getting here later than she planned,” Jake replied to you, short in his response. “See you la–.”

“Is she okay?” You asked, your heart rate increasing at the thought of her possibly being stuck somewhere. “Is she safe? I’ve been driving. Do you think she’s tried texting me? Josh, is she okay?”

You heard Josh chuckle, which eased your nerves. “Yes, she’s perfectly fine,” he confirmed gently. “She’s on the flight now, and if things line up, she should be here in two hours, so we’re good.”

“Okay, goo–.”

“And I’m sure she’s texted you because you both text each other non-fuckin’-stop,” he pointed out. Then you heard him laugh at himself. “No–I love it. But she’s okay.”

Jake’s voice, annoyed, broke through the flow of your conversation with his brother. “Alright, well, see you la–.”

Just as you pulled up to the clinic, you cut him off. “Jake.” Truthfully, the reason you kept him on the line was because your heart was heavily thrumming in your ears, vision tunneling. . . You just needed to hear his voice. He couldn’t hang up yet. “Why won’t you be there to let him in?”

He sighed, the sound making your heart slow down a little. You could imagine him rubbing his face or giving you a look that said “really?”. But he actually responded kindly, sounding like himself. “I have a few things to do before the party. I won’t be home.”

Even though you so badly wanted to ask what those things were, just to continue hearing his voice, you didn’t keep him. It wasn’t your place to know and you knew better than to ask anymore questions that weren’t your business.

“Okay.” You paused, thinking if it was okay to ask what you wanted to next. Just go for it. “Are you going to be at the party?”

Embarrassing to ask, but here you were.

“Yes. . .?” He replied, tone questioning.

Relief. That was what you were feeling. You were relieved that he’d be there.

He waited a few beats and then spoke again. “. . .Why?”

“No reason. Just wondering if you’d be at the party,” you rushed out, not wanting to push him further.

The next thing you heard throughout the body of your car was Josh’s voice again. He was hurling expletive after expletive. And then, “Did you see that, Jake? Did you see that?” in the background of the call.

It was enough to make you laugh. You’d been there for his loss of patience on the road. Completely oblivious drivers getting an earload from the man in the next car over. It was even funnier when you’d look over to see them grinning, or singing along to a song. . .no idea that they were getting called horrendous names.

Simply watching him lose his cool on others was entertaining because it was hardly ever seen. The best thing you could think to compare him to was an angry leprechaun when he’d start on his little road rage fits.

And without warning, the sound you needed to hear most rushed through the car and into your ears. Jake’s lovely, raspy chuckle. It’d been so long since you’d heard it. Too long. (You might’ve turned up your volume a smidge in hopes of hearing it again.)

The insane person in you wanted to ask him to do it again. But, obviously, you didn’t.

Though, he didn’t immediately try to hang up when he spoke next. When you heard him again, it was almost like you could imagine the past month hadn’t happened. The talk in the kitchen hadn’t happened. . . things were normal. You were okay. He was okay. Both of you, peaceful . . .blissful.

“Are you good?” He asked smoothly– familiarly. Jake. And, you were sure your ears were fooling you, but you swore you could hear a hint of concern in his tone.

You weren’t sure what to say. This was more than you expected from him by far. . . Shocked was an understatement. What you wanted was to open up, tell him every last thing on your mind, but you knew you couldn’t do that anymore.

You plainly weren’t. You put a hand on your tummy and aimed to match his sincerity in your tone. Settling with a, “Yeah, I’m good,” as your reply.

I miss you, though, you added, silently.

“Alright,” he said. But he didn’t hang up. Instead, the line stayed connected almost as though he was. . .waiting? Was he? Possibly waiting for you to talk more? Like he used to? Giving you time? But before you could think any further, he was wrapping it up. “See you later.”

The tone clicked off, leaving you in the silence of your car briefly before your eardrums got attacked by Marvin Gaye’s voice.

“Shit.”

You reached the knob, turning down the volume.

Had I really turned it up that loud?

You shook your head as you giggled to yourself at the fact that you’d been so obscenely desperate to hear him laugh.

But, his laugh. . . Exactly what you needed to keep calming down. . . That laugh. . . And the way his eyes would light up with it.

Oh, fuck. . .

His eyes.

His wonderful eyes. Amber-brown. The first thing you’d noticed about him. They were so kind and so open when he cared for someone he spoke to. . . Even sparkling sometimes when he’d smile. . .

And without warning, you could see it. Clear as day. A baby with Jake’s kind eyes.

A baby that was part of him. . .

You let yourself sit on that. Think about it. Just that. Not about all of the intricate, fine-tuned details. No, just thought about the simple fact that this baby was half Jake.

Half of someone who’d brought so much unadulterated joy to your life. If you were always honest with yourself, you knew he wasn’t what had caused you to become distracted, sad, and in your head. . . you’d done that to yourself. All he had done was be a listening ear. A helper. A lover. A friend. . .

He’d done nothing wrong. You knew this. And imagining a baby who could bring the same light to the world as him. . .Even if all the baby had were his eyes, that would be enough. But then there was his heart. The beautiful heart and passion his child would no doubt have. It would be inevitable. Especially being the child of you two. . . but his passion shining through a kid?

You could not get it out of your head. You didn’t want to. It was all so beautiful to imagine. . .You also didn’t want to rid the world of a gift that could be so wonderful as Jake Kiszka.

The little details could be worked out. You would work on yourself. You would try your best to be the best you could be. . .

You would. Had to do it for yourself and your baby.

Determined, you turned off your car. And when you went inside Planned Parenthood, you canceled your appointment. You tried your best to shut off your brain to any of its usual worrying for the sake of the life you now knew without a doubt you wanted to keep. Hold. Love.

And as you were driving home, the nerves were gone and replaced with relief. Your baby would be okay. You’d make damn sure of it.

When you took the final exit off the highway to reach the city streets that led to your apartment, you got logical again. Now, the logic didn’t worry you. It didn’t make you feel unsure. This logic felt safe. You were working things out– not just getting rid of something to temporarily patch up a hole. Yes, you were more than self-aware. You knew you did that shit.

It was what you’d done your whole life to feel safe. But it wasn’t what the baby did. It wasn’t what the baby needed. And now, the baby in your belly would also get what it needed.

As you rolled into your parking spot, you started searching the best apps to use and downloaded all of the most reliable trackers. The loading apps made you feel jittery with anxiety, but in a good way you’d never felt before.

Later on in your pregnancy, you knew it was possible you could end up regretting the choice to keep the kid. You’d done nothing to prepare for a child and the fear of being completely out of control was daunting. But that was what adoption was for.

You just couldn’t be the reason that the world lost such a precious piece of Jake. Because, even if you couldn’t keep the baby yourself, you needed to at least see such an inevitably beautiful person enter this world. And, you didn’t have to be out of control in all of this. You could keep your hands on it all. Stay aware and informed. . . Help the baby. . . Feel purpose. You could do something good and worthwhile.

You walked up the stairs to your building, watching your every step while you kept one firm hand on your lower tummy. The apps that had loaded were dying to be opened. But you were going to shower and start getting ready before you gave yourself that reward.

For the first time in your life, you had a shaky-ass, unsure plan. But it was oddly the first time in your life you felt like you could conquer your shit. You could take it by the horns and start working on it. For you. For your baby. The baby that motivated and inspired you so much already. . .It all felt so freeing.

You unlocked your front door, finding the place was still empty. Your shoulders relaxed as the day started draining from you. The past two weeks, honestly. . . You moved your shoulders a little to loosen the muscles from their pent-up tension, took deep breaths in and out, in and out. . .

You breathed a sigh of contentment, placing your delicate hand on where the baby grew.

And as you got into the shower, you realized something. . .

The persistent voice that always accompanied you, helping you feel less alone in your hurt. . . had been silenced. Was that okay? That it wasn’t there to guide you? Had you been able to turn it off?

You weren’t sure how to feel about it. But, as you kept glancing down at your slightly rounded tummy as you showered, you came to a clarifying thought.

You weren’t alone anymore. Didn’t have to be. Maybe the voice was no longer needed. Maybe this was the beginning of a massive change.

Giggling to yourself as you dried off, you thought to yourself.

Duh, it’s a massive change. The biggest. And one I’m ready to welcome.

-🌼🌼🌼-

When Elsie’s plane landed at the airport, Josh had already been at your place decorating for an hour or two. And as soon as she texted, he was gathering his things and giving you instructions on finishing up the place.

Then, he left to pick her up.

Finally.

You breathed a sigh of relief when he ended up leaving.

The thoughts that’d swarmed your head in such close proximity to him had been too much. It was weird being around him now, knowing who you were carrying. Josh being completely oblivious (and probably unapproving if he were to find out) caused you some incredible anxiety. While you’d come to the realization that there was no doubt you wanted to have the baby, the thought of people finding out was making your nerves short circuit.

Especially Josh. He was still the main person you didn’t want knowing of you and Jake. Same as always, you didn’t want him to feel betrayed, or like you’d let yourself be to Jake what Amelia had been to him (destroying his dreams for your gain). And now, you knew how much worse it could end up being when he found out about your child. You figured that he would feel like he’d been left totally in the dark. Which, he had been. . .but for good reason.

You just felt guilty over it.

Taking instructions from him on how to finish up some of the decorations, you hung the rest of the red and black streamers and some cute, eclectic garland between the streamers. Little fabric ghosts, attached to a string that he’d probably found at a Home Goods store. After that, per his wish, you shut all of the lights off and turned all of the twinkle lights on. Some red, some white. . . But so many of them. Dear God.

The lights were a good idea though, as they added the final touch to everything he’d done around the place. . .highlighting everything a very mystifying, spooky hue.

Once you completed those tasks, you made the red punch. Josh had already whipped up the orange punch and had it chilling in the fridge. When it looked ‘blood red’ enough (Josh’s words), you placed it in the fridge with the other bowl. Each bowl, shaped like a giant skeleton hand.

Does he just host it here because I have a massive fridge? You genuinely wondered.

On the shelf above the bowls, you saw the several hilariously made food items. He’d designed them carefully and specially to look like scary things, labeling each as its inspiration (Witch’s Fingers being the name of one item). It was something you’d see at a party for a child, but you weren’t surprised that Josh had found the idea amusing. Something you loved about Josh was the fact that he was a child at heart, while also showing the traits of an 80 year old man.

Crossing the living room to walk to your room, you admired the way he’d jazzed up the spacious apartment. It looked spooky and cute and fun. You knew people would love it. He always went all out and you enjoyed seeing what he decided to do each year.

What worried you, though, was the amount of orange solo cups that sat on your bar. It looked to be at least (probably more than) 50 cups. Maybe he’d just gotten that many for the people who wouldn’t reuse their cups. . .but the Sharpie sitting next to them begged to differ.

Why in the fuck hadn’t you put a limit on the number of people? Yeah, your apartment was roomier than some, but how were you going to fit that many goddamned people in your place?

There’d never been so many solo cups waiting. . . How many people were there going to be? And why the sudden change in numbers?

-🌼🌼🌼-

It was thirty minutes to party time when they got back.

You’d finished most of your makeup, having done it during the long time you’d waited on your sister’s arrival. When Elsie finally walked into your room, her foundation, blush, and contour were on, but nothing else.

“Bitch, we’ve gotta hurry,” she said, setting her bags down on your bed. “Do you have the costumes?”

You gave your false lashes one more swipe of mascara, pleased with how you looked.

Not half bad, you thought. You made a pout at yourself in the mirror; your red lipstick made your lips look damn good. The gloss you'd coated them with helped as well.

Kissable.

“Yes,” you answered, rising from the vanity to grab their hangers out of your closet. “We are never buying costumes on Etsy again, though. These ripped a hole in my bank account.”

“Oh, shut up, Little Miss ‘my grandparents pay for my rent’,” she sassed back, rolling her eyes.

“You’re one to talk,” you countered, annoyed with her. “They did the same damn thing for you.”

“You’re not wrong,” she agreed, a laugh in her voice. “But giving you shit is too fun. And also, you don’t have to travel all over the globe for your job, so. . . I bet your account still looks prettier than mine, even after this purchase.” She grabbed her little blue top and skirt from your waiting hand. “These are perfect though,” she turned the costume around, admiring. “Thanks, sissy.”

“Did you bring the white stockings?” You asked, taking off your sweats and changing from granny panties to a white, lacy thong to fit the mood.

“Duh,” she responded, going to retrieve them from her duffel, throwing your pair at you. They hit you on the head, as you were folding your sweats onto your bed.

“Elsie!” You yelped. “You little fuck.”

“Get over it. I’m sure you’ve done something to me recently to deserve it.”

When you looked back at her, to continue the jesting, she was in her light ensemble. She moved in front of the mirror, gawking. She twisted and turned to see every angle of the glorified lingerie. “Damn these are sexy,” she commented, impressed with the look.

Your eyes were big, noticing the same thing as her. They were hot, but. . . A lot of skin was going to be exposed. . .

“Short as hell,” you noted, observing the costume on your sister’s body. . . Her ass would be fully out if she bent the wrong way. But her boobs looked great– complimented by the cropped blouse, pushed up. She adjusted the little pink bow in her hair that’d come with the ‘fit. “And lots of skin.”

“Just like we wanted them,” she reminded you, going to get her makeup bag to finish her makeup at the vanity.

Yeah, we decided on these damned costumes when I was fucking Jake and had someone to look sexy for. . . Fuck. The thought of him seeing you tonight and not being able to react like he would have two months ago. . .it made your heart pinch sadly. It suddenly felt totally counterproductive to even dress cute.

Why would you want to do it now? The only person you wanted to impress would definitely not be looking your way. . . You had a terrible feeling that all night, you were going to feel like a clown. Ridiculous. Dressed up in a stupid, extremely revealing costume. Completely unseen by one pair of pretty brown eyes. . .

“Put your costume on!” Elsie ordered, her eyes pinned on you through the mirror as you stood there, behind her, lost in thought. “The party starts super fucking soon.”

You had to do this with her. If you backed out on your costume with Els, it would be a giant dick move. Coordinating costumes with her on Halloween had been a tradition for as long as you could remember.

It will be fun to do it with her. Just like always.

Resigning to putting on the tiny outfit, you went to take off your sweatshirt. But just as you gripped material at your hip to pull it up and off, you froze again.

Dammit. The tiny bump.

You hadn’t thought of her possibly seeing you—or it— as you changed. . . Should have done it before she got there. Would she even notice? Honestly, it just looked like you were bloated. It wasn’t super obvious what it was— not yet.

It’s okay. It’s fine. It’ll be okay.

So, you kept on with taking it off, throwing it to your bed to fold, turning around so you weren’t facing her in the process of getting changed. Just a safety precaution.

“Nice ass,” she giggled, snarky as usual before continuing her eyeliner.

But your mind went into hyperdrive. A recent event, coming to your mind at her words.

“That ass,” he’d said, his voice still low and sleepy. “Damn, baby.”

The way he’d looked. . . Stroking himself in bed as he’d watched you. . .

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Naturally, you went to hold your tummy. Though, you dropped the hand when you heard your sister huff frustratedly. “Do I have to come over there and do it for you?”

You looked over your shoulder at her, narrowing your eyes and giving her the middle finger before finally putting on every piece of the ensemble.

You had to be careful with the top, which included its built-in push up bra. Your breasts had become much more sensitive than you were used to. Sometimes hurting to the touch. To your relief, the bra added just the right amount of pressure to them that it felt like they were being held well. . .

Just wouldn’t be able to put up with the feeling all night. . . You knew that they’d start to hurt from being pressed so tightly to something as the night wore on. After situating your boobs just so, you put on the last piece: A black platform heels, closed-toe, resembling a pair of traditional Mary Janes.

Smoothing your hands over the skirt, you noticed it was a little tight. . . But not bad. Not noticeable to any unsuspecting eye. Just like your previous thought, it could really just be passed off as period bloating. However, when you eventually checked over the outfit on yourself, in the mirror. . . You did notice something. A change.

The past couple of weeks had been a time of you not acknowledging any body changes. Only your belly, which you frequently, absentmindedly touched. . . But anything else that might feel or look abnormal? You’d avoided, if you could.

The boob pain had been too incessantly uncomfortable to ignore, having to flip and flop every which way in the night time so they wouldn’t feel like aching, ton-pound weights on your chest.

But you hadn’t looked at them. They truly looked bigger. You weren’t that far along. . . Were you? You didn’t understand all of the pregnancy math yet. You still hadn’t had the chance to delve into your new apps.

Whatever the case may be, they were definitely growing. Your veins in them, darker than normal. The way they looked swollen, full. . . damn.

Do they seriously start changing this soon? I don’t know. . ., you wondered silently, moving to the side to see how they were giving you fantastic cleavage at your deep, sweetheart neckline. Mentally, you made a note to check those apps to get some answers as soon as possible.

You went about your business, trying to distract yourself from the body changes you weren’t completely sure about . . .

As you were adjusting your own pink bow in your hair, you heard her wolf whistle.

“Dear God, sis,” Elsie commented. You looked down at her in the mirror, where she still sat at the vanity stool. Her face was almost completely finished. “What in the hell have you done to make your boobs look so fantastic? Please, tell me your ways.”

If only you fucking knew, you thought, fluffing your hair, and adjusting your outfit as much as you could, once more before eyeing her.

“Just on my period,” you lied, not ready to tell her. But . . .you kind of were. You wanted to tell someone and she was your person. When would you be able to finally break the news?

You pushed the thought away as she did the same as you with her outfit and put her own shoes on.

Hearing the sounds of people arriving, and Josh’s music starting, you gave her a look.

“You ready?”

-🌼🌼🌼-

The party had been droning on for several minutes.

A lot of people had shown up. . . some you recognized from past parties, and others you’d never seen before. All you knew was there were definitely enough people for all of the cups.

You’d already taken your annual Halloween picture with Elsie, and now she was off with Josh, attached to his side and conversing with every person that he did.

Why couldn’t you have what they had? Why was everything in your life so goddamned complicated?

And where was Jake?

Your other two friends had arrived (surprisingly) on time, getting the party kicked off. They were now playing a small game of “mini beer pong” with two girls they’d probably met through an app. Maybe a festival, though? That was a possibility now. Weird.

Yawning, you made your way over to the punch and put some of the orange in a plastic cup. Before you took a sip, you smelled it, making sure it was uncontaminated with Josh’s liquor of choice. Knowing you were safe, you took a decently sized swig. And, thankfully, the taste didn’t make you want to hurl.

All of the little things that had been happening before you’d found out were all stark and apparent in their nature now. All of your “stress” symptoms had been signs of you growing a little life inside of you. From being sick, wanting to eat everything in sight, the sore boobs for the couple of weeks before you’d found out. . . and even the extreme sadness about Jake. Had that perhaps been the hormones, too?

Getting up on your tiptoes to peer over the people, punch bowls, and several types of alcohol on the counter, you once again searched for your roommate.

Where was he?

And, right as you’d pondered the question again, there he was. Opening and striding through the front door, already in his costume. . .and looking sexy as fucking hell.

Your eyes trailed his solid figure. . . From his black boots, black pants, loose white shirt (almost entirely unbuttoned, dear fuck), a few necklaces laying upon his defined chest. . .and all the way up to the dark red bandana that he’d tied around the top of his head, gold hooped earrings peeking out from his dark hair, flowing below the bandana.

A pirate.

Hot damn.

And even though it was dark, the insurmountable amount of twinkle lights Josh had perfectly hung illuminated his handsome face enough for you to see. . .

Had he started growing a mustache on their trip?

Fuck. Me.

You squirmed from where you were behind the counter, totally irritated with yourself over what you’d done in this very kitchen, two months ago. Even though it had been for his own good, you wished right now that you could take back time and hold off on doing it when you had. Because all you wanted to do in that moment was walk over to him and tell him all of the filthy thoughts that were clouding up your brain.

But. . . before they could get any dirtier, you saw the person he’d arrived with, walking in beautiful and majestic behind him.

Maya.

Also dressed as a pirate. Except her costume was one you’d probably see advertised as “Sexy Female Pirate” in a Spirit Halloween bag where Jake’s seemed to be a bunch of pieces of his own clothing that he’d pieced together to make the stunning look.

Thankfully from the waist down, you were out of sight behind the bar counter. So you were able to lay a gentle hand on your belly, a little more round after eating some of Josh’s finger foods. You realized that, apparently, holding your belly was a new go-to to gain peace in a situation.

Because, sad as you were over the woman he’d arrived with, you were able to ground yourself with the hand on your stomach.

This was going to happen anyway. . . Surely. You two weren’t meant for each other, and you were bound to see him with another woman again after you ended things with him. And you were not shocked at all that it was Maya with him tonight. Just as Elsie and Josh had been doing, they started strolling the room, talking to the other party-goers. His smile, so bright to lighten up that dark room. . . The occasional laugh he’d give in response to someone that you wished so badly to hear, but just watch instead . . .

You could do this. You could watch him from where you were. Even if she was with him every step of the way, you could admire him. Wistfully. Wantingly. Longingly. . .

But what you saw next was the worst thing you’d seen between them so far.

At first, it wasn’t so bad. When he wrapped an arm behind her. . . But what made your heart lull was seeing him give her ass a squeeze through the material of her (cheap nylon, off-the-costume-rack) pirate dress.

God, no. Unshed tears pricked your eyes. Your chest felt heavy.

Before you could watch any longer, you made your way over to the cabinet next to the oven. You’d hid your phone so as not to get it mixed up with any others. You’d assumed it was a risk when the multiple people filed in at the beginning of the party.

You averted your gaze from anywhere near where you’d last seen Jake. Then, found a place on the countertop to perch yourself, getting comfortable (and carefully situating your legs to not reveal anything).

Now was the perfect time to start perusing those apps. . .

-🌼🌼🌼-

Elsie had migrated to be next to you for the latter portion of the evening, both of you feeling the hyperactivity of the crowd grating on your anxious nerves.

You’d sat, secluded for hours. Talked about nothing and everything. Shared TikToks. Laughed at ridiculous things that no one else would get. . .But time with her made you that much more ready to tell her of your predicament. Even if her advice pissed you off, you still felt like you needed it. If only to round out the massive, intricate equation your life had become. You could use her input as a multiple fucking choice answer choice.

When it had gotten long enough that she hadn’t seen Josh, she had to get her fix and he walked off to find him.

And you decided you were done sitting on the couch, crammed against the wall. You just wanted to go to sleep. You’d kept your phone on hand when you’d come to sit with her, and the time on your screen was reinforcing your want for your comfy bed. You’d been yawning for the past couple of hours off and on, and finally reached the point of your eyes closing where you sat at the back of the party.

For the past couple of weeks, you’d been going to sleep much, much earlier than 11 p.m.

After you’d spent a lot of time reading about the first trimester on those (extremely helpful) apps, you now knew the newfound tiredness was most likely due to a baby growing healthily inside of you, using your energy to thrive. Providing life for yourself and another was exhausting work.

You couldn’t find Elsie and Josh in the mass of people, so you just decided to excuse yourself quietly to bed. Sammy and Danny, the only ones to get a goodbye and goodnight from you as you quickly passed by them. You were not about to look for Jake.

Stevie meowed when you entered your room, as if greeting you. She’d stayed in your bedroom with her necessities so she wouldn’t get overly anxious with the crowds, since that was the last thing you wanted for her. You’d greeted her back as you shut the door behind you, almost falling asleep against the back of the door.

But your costume had become way too uncomfortable and constricting for that to be an option.

You started stripping yourself of it, sighing as your chest hit the cool air of your room. Then, you slipped back into your heavenly sweats. No bra of any kind constricting your chest. Praises fucking be. You felt soft and cozy in your baggy sweats and you could fall asleep right there. Standing up. In the middle of your room.

Though, your face was still heavy with makeup, and you weren’t going to sleep with that on your skin to possibly clog your pores. Another thing you’d learnt from your apps was that pregnant women easily broke out with hormonal acne, and you weren’t about to test any of the waters to give yourself more acne. You were already lacking enough self confidence, and you didn’t need to add a broken out face to the mix.

When you went to grab your makeup wipes from your vanity (no time for the whole face routine tonight– you were too tired), you noticed the package was empty. And right next to all of her makeup, still splayed out, was the used cloth.

Of course Elsie had used the last one. She owed you for that one. Especially for the timing. Right now was not the time. You were going to have to go back out into the crowd to get to the bathroom for your new package. Thus, getting overstimulated all over again when all you wanted was to crash hard in your bed.

But when you got to your bathroom, your search for makeup wipes came up dry. And then you remembered that your last trip to the store had been weeks ago. The same day where you left with two packages of tests triple bagged. And that day, by the time you got to the toiletries section, your brain had been infiltrated by the memory that got you where you were now. You hadn’t remembered to get a new pack of remover wipes.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, angry that you now had to use Micellar water and dirty a washcloth and . . .ugh.

By the time you’d spent forever doing that, you figured you might as well do your full nighttime routine on your face.

Twenty minutes later, you were leaving the bathroom, face feeling incredibly fresh. But the way the final step cooled your face, made you feel more awake than before. So, after tossing your hair into a messy bun, you slipped past the people who were still taking up space in your home, avoiding any and all eye contact, to get a cup of water, a Cosmic Brownie, and a bowl of pickles.

Just as you thought you’d figured out a way to carry it all to your room, you ended up dropping the box of brownies, each package falling out of the box, all over the floor (one didn’t sound like enough once you’d made it to the kitchen). The clatter of plastic made you want to cry, honestly. And a few tears hit your hand as you sat the pickles and water on the counter.

I just want to eat and go to sleep, you thought, getting on your hands and knees to pick up the brownies.

But before you could, a hand was stopping you, bending down to do it himself. Confused, you stood back up, not questioning the help in your state. And when you looked to see who the helper was, you bit your lip to try and keep the new tears at bay. Stupid hormones.

Your heart leapt at Jake. Pirate costume and all, on the floor, putting the last couple of packages back in the box.

When he stood up, his eyes were glassy like he’d been drinking. You gave them one glance and then looked at the box, not letting your eyes meet his.

He’d probably forget about this, you thought, a little sad by that. He probably doesn’t even want to be doing this right now and his drunkenness is making him move without thinking.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, going to grab the box from him. But he pulled it back so you couldn’t. You tried again, but he pressed it to his chest, out of your reach. “Give me the box?” You requested, in question. Your brow wrinkled, unsure why he was doing this.

“Look at me,” he said, his voice wavy, softly demanding.

. . .and slightly British? You would have laughed if circumstances were different.

Yeah, his voice definitely indicated he wasn’t sober.

But, you did as he asked, your craving made you follow his instructions without hesitation.

Mistake, mistake, mistake. Abort mission.

You hadn’t been given the opportunity to look into his eyes for so long. And doing it now made your airways constrict. The eyes that convinced you to turn around today. The same beautiful brown eyes you wanted your baby to have.

Wanting to ignore the way your heartbeat was literally washing through your ears, you tried to speak.

“Why?” You asked, your question weak, but voice clear of emotion. Thank God.

His gaze was open, eyes a little lost thanks to his inebriation. “You looked fucking beautiful tonight,” he lazed, tone serious. He glanced down at your body, just briefly. “Still do. Always do.”

Your breath went shallow at his words. He didn’t mean this. He was drunk. You could’ve sworn he hadn’t been looking at you. He wouldn’t; Maya had been with him all night. Right?

“Thanks,” you choked out. You averted your gaze from his again, your heart couldn’t take this. “Can I have my brownies now?”

You saw them move in your direction, and grasped the box as soon as it was in front of you. Gathering up the water, bowl, and box with much more ease this time. Strategy.

“D’you want my help?” he offered, voice still iffy, but tone sweet and sincere.

Shaking your head, you flashed your eyes at him once more. Just one more look.

“No, I can make it,” you affirmed, wanting to say the opposite. Yes, please. Stay with me. “But thank you.”

He mimicked your actions, shook his head as he furrowed his brow. “Yeah, yeah,” his eyes held yours. You couldn’t look away. He smiled shakily, as if telling a joke. “I’m drunk.”

You giggled in spite of it all. “I know.”

And then he was letting you move past him, his cologne coming off of him in the most delicious waves. . . fuck.

Before you could totally get away, though, he lightly grabbed your arm. You were stuck in a trance. His touch, burning, even through your sweatshirt. The way he smelled, exactly what your senses needed.

You peered up at him through your lashes, wondering. “What?”

He seemed to get lost in your stare for a second, forgetting what he wanted to say. Alcohol could do that to a person.

But then he was moving towards you. Your heart fluttered wildly in your chest. What was he. . .? You couldn’t move. Then, he was dipping his lips to be right above your ear. Holy fuck. More. His voice was low and raspy when he whispered. “Your tits looked fucking incredible tonight.” Heat flushed in your cheeks, all the way down to the pit of your stomach and to your throbbing heat. God. “That fuckin’ tiny excuse for a shirt barely held them in.”

God-fucking-damn.

You could feel your nipples hardening, to match the rest of your body. You could feel them tight and hard, begging for his touch. But he couldn’t. And he wouldn’t. He didn’t want that.

He. Was. Drunk.

Gaining what bearings you could, still blushing, you gave him a small grin, eyes innocent and at his mercy. “Thanks, Jake.”

And then you were booking it out of that kitchen. Quickly as you could, to the safety of your room and the vibrator you kept in your nightstand.

In an embarrassing amount of time, you were reaching the peak you so desperately needed. . . Every quiver from the tiny instrument, his wet tongue. Your toes curled as you found release, moaning his name loudly, but against your pillow to muffle the sound.

Then you tucked it back in your nightstand, the food forgotten as you let yourself fall into a deep sleep, holding the soft bump of your belly.

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: i think "You're All I Need To Get By" is their song..... hm? do you think this baby might be the magic key? or do you think things are only going to get worse? 🤔🤔

also, who can guess what the girls were for Halloween? 🪓

ty for being the best readers in the world and pleaseee never hesitate to send in your wonderful thoughts!

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berberriescorner · 1 year

Note

That girl is not about to babysit all those damn kids please😭

AND ISSSS! If momma needs help, baby girl gon’ provide 👏🏾. The middle child will put in the work as well. As the oldest, Marcus gonna help too😂🤣!

No, but seriously. Little momma needs to chill on her mother. The lady of the house is more than capable of taking care of all her babies. Daddy Rio is completely comfortable with her being a full-time mommy🥰😍.

Little Ms. Mamas can chill. She can babysit to earn some extra allowance.

Here y’all go getting another continuation out of me😒😂:

“Mama? May I upgrade to the new iPhone that just dropped? Daddy said he was cool with it. He said I have to run it by you first.”

“We just got you a new MacBook and AirPods. No ma’am. You can upgrade when your birthday rolls around.”

She kisses her teeth, instantly regretting it as you give her that look.

“Not you trying to have an attitude? See, that’s y’all’s problem. You’re so used to getting whatever you want.”

“My birthday isn’t for another three months. Please, ma? It’s not like we can’t afford it.”

Did she just…I know she didn’t just say that? See, Rio this is what happens when there isn’t a balance. We've created spoiled little monsters.

You took a deep calming breath. Trying to keep from raising your voice.

Gentle parenting, Y/N. Remember to practice gentle parenting.

“Correction. It’s not like WE can’t afford it. We, meaning your father and me. You must be confused, baby girl. I didn’t know you paid bills around here.”

Your oldest daughter huffed and rolled her eyes. Rio had walked in just in time to catch what you said. Watching his daughters reaction let him know he needed to step in.

“Baby girl, you know Daddy loves you with everything in me. Peep this though. Two very important things you need to learn, baby. One, I know that’s your mother, but that’s my wife. Watch your tone, cut the dramatics, and respect her, darlin'. All that huffing and puffing gotta go. Chill on rolling those eyes.”

Your chest swelled with pride as you thought, “I know that’s right, papa.”

Rio continued, “Second lesson of the day. Life’s not fair, darlin’. Now I was cool with it, so long as your mama was. Given your reaction to what she said. I noticed something else you need to learn. You want something bad enough baby girl, hustle for it.”

Your daughter looked at him quizzically.

“You want the phone bad enough. Pay for it.”

“That would take all my saved allowance.”

Rio shrugged, “find a hustle, baby girl.”

“Yes, sir."

Realizing that her father was right, she spoke again, “Sorry for acting like a brat, mama. I understand what you both are saying. If I want it, gotta earn it.”

Dear Lord. He’s going to turn all these children into finesse kings and queens. I don’t know whether to be worried or proud. It couldn't hurt to be both, right?

You embraced your daughter and kissed the top of her head.

“Look, I’m not trying to be hard on you, but sometimes we need to find balance. Yes, we love spoiling you and your siblings, but we want you all to know how to go out and get it on your own.”

Hearing you impart wisdom to your daughter, placed a smile on your husband’s face. He kissed both his babies on the forehead.

“I'll tell you what. Come up with half. Daddy and I will pay the rest, deal?”

Her face lit up, as she bounced up and down excitedly.

“Thank you, Mommy! How can I earn my half?”

You started to give suggestions when she cut you off.

“How about I babysit for the next four date nights? Nana wouldn’t mind if I sat in for her.”

Rio chuckled, “I thought you hated watching your siblings?”

“I don’t hate it, daddy. I don’t love it either, but bread is bread.”

“I feel you little hustla. Baby girl said a win is a win. This is a proud daddy moment. Yeah, that works for me.”

Rio pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. Kissing your neck a few times, he asked, “That alright with you, mama?”

You sighed happily, loving his sweet embrace.

“That’s fine with me, baby,” you responded, turning to peck his lips.

“Eww! Please don’t have another baby.”

“Girl hush and go check on your sisters. It’s too quiet in this house. Probably doing something they're not supposed to.”

“Fine, but can I get five dollars for my time?”

“Y/D/N,” Rio said authoritatively.

“Yes, sir. I’m going,” she chuckled.

Rio waited for her to leave the room. His hands gripped you tighter, nibbling your ear.

“I say we give her one more sibling to look after. Six sounds like a good number to stop," he whispered trailing kisses down your neck.

“I’d say no, but you’re not going to listen. I’m tired of being pregnant,” you teased.

“You ain’t tired of making them though.”

#berberries asks #asks open #follow up #daddy rio #i love my mutuals😍#rio x black!reader #rio x reader #rio x woc!reader #rio x y/n #rio fanfiction #rio fanfic #rio good girls fanfiction #rio good girls #good girls rio

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chocolatecoffeeshot · 30 days

Text

Boop! Inspired one-shot | AO3 LINK

Fluff with a boop of angst (prank)

Summary: Azirpahle wakes up to an empty bed and a missing Crowley with no proper explanation. Has Crowley been dragged back to hell or is it something else BOOP ME A KISS

Aziraphale woke to his left arm and toes shivering. This shouldn’t have been possible at 6am as Crowley was supposed to be curled up into them. Maybe he was just downstairs, panic rose in Aziraphale’s chest, maybe hell had pulled him back. But oh, there was a note.

“Out to get some fresh air” scrawled on it. This was usual as Crowley woke up at only after 10, like a bank (nothing like a serpent) and the first thing he did was saunter over Nina’s for his espresso shots. Then he would get back a cupcake or a pastry for Aziraphale, occasionally a brownie to split, as a midday snack. Aziraphale’s waddled up to the window pulling the blanket around him and peeked to the blinds and saw the Bentley. “Maybe it is an early morning stroll after all.” Aziraphale cast out his sense and sensed Crowley near St. James. So he fell back to bed.

At nine he went over to Nina’s himself, as Crowley was yet to return. “Hi, Aziraphale, where’s your thin dark duke today?”, Nina greeted cheerily. “Crowley went out for a morning walk today, I rather wondered he might have made his way here after that”, Aziraphale said hopefully. He hadn’t been able to sense Crowley after he’d woken up. More importantly Bentley was missing. “No, not come this way. Wasn’t expecting him to as yet. Say you want to order something and wait here? Camomile perhaps?” she offered. “Oh a chamomile sounds rather lovely”, Aziraphale took his order and settled by a corner seat and went through his list of why now would be good time to panic about Crowley’s absence. Nina meanwhile got him a vanilla frosted cupcake, which accidentally made unfortunate contact with his nose on Nina’s careless account. Very lightly but yet. “Oh I’m so sorry!!” Nina yelped and offered up a tissue instantly. “It’s alright, I’ll just head back anyways I think. Can’t seem to sit around” he gave a polite smile. “I’ll let you know if I see Crowley”, Nina called. “Thanks Nina” Aziraphale grumbled and made his way to the records shop.

“Crowley did come in today yes, asked for a CD, and left”, Maggie said. “Rather fast, no time to chat he said”. “He got a new CD?”, Aziraphale was surprised. This day kept talking weird turns. Too weird. Something was not right anywhere. “We’ll I don’t think he particularly browned for one, just picked up the first of the rack, really.” “I see”, Aziraphale muttered. There was no rhyme nor reason for this behaviour. “Mr. Fell don’t mind me but I ought to…”, Maggie reached out and brushed her finger over his nose. “There, there was a leaf stuck”, she said with a pursed smile. “Ah” Aziraphale gave it a few more stern brushes to ensure any remaining stickiness was gone.“There was a frosting incident.” Maggie’s giggles were dangerously close to spilling out so Aziraphale considered it as his cue.

Outside the door of his bookshop lay a tiny black cat, mewling it's guts out. Aziraphale crouched down to examine it, perhaps a miracle was needed. The second he touched it, the cat shot out his paws, smacked him on his nose and shot out. “For God’s sake would you leave my nose alone!!!” Aziraphale yelled in despair. His Crowley was nowhere to be found and his nose was close to being battered! This was the worst day, since since .... “Angel? Issss that you?”, a voice hissed out from inside. “Crowley? Crowley you’re back?” Aziraphale rushed in, arms open and engulfed the demon in a hug. “I thought you’d gone” he whimpered, “left me.” “I would never!? A ludicrous accusation that”, Crowley pulled back. His eyebrows arched,"I left a note, yes?”

“Yes but Bentley was gone by the time I woke up. What was I supposed to think you fiend?” Aziraphale smacked him on his arm.

“You saw a missing Bentley and went to Nina’s to look for me there?” Crowley asked sarcastically.

“Well I wasn’t particularly cool minded and I thought she might’ve noticed ….. hold up how do you know I went to Nina’s?” Aziraphale wondered.

Crowley’s smirk grew like a Cheshire cat’s, a little guilt flashing on his eyes.

“Anthony Crowley Fell, WHAT have you been doing?” Aziraphale spoke threateningly.

Crowley swindled and flopped on the armchair and put his legs up.

“So you see spring has started right, a new month has rolled around, I thought I might get a little gift angel,” he said sweet nonchalance laced in his words.

He miracles a paper from below and present it to Aziraphale.

“I say, I say, IT WAS YOU!!!” Aziraphale’s was shocked and surprised. The paper, photograph really, was a collage of a his recent nose accident’s. All snapped at the exact time his nose was squished, his entire face scrunched up.

“Explain yourself!” Crowley stood up in one swoop, pulled Aziraphale back into his arms and kissed him on the nose.

“Boop!”, he whispered quietly. Colour of vibrant red crept into Aziraphale’s cheek.

“ What?” “Boop!”, Crowley kissed.

“Again.” Crowley obliged the blue pleading eyes, slowly softly and Aziraphale gave his kiss back.

“Happy April Fool’s, angel. You made a very cute one.” Crowley’s golden eyes ablaze.

“Hang on a minute, were Maggie and Nina in this too? The cat!?” Aziraphale felt incredulous.

Crowley was laughing now.

“The gift was for me, Angel. Won’t this be perfect over the mantelpiece” he winked.

“I’m going to get you back for this.”

“Well, you have all the time in the world.”

#good omens #good omens fic #good omens fluff #good omens one shot #boop #good omens boop #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #a little prank played #aziraphale #crowley #I’m not sure what my writing comprehension at 1am is but I wanted to post it ASAP

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godfrey-the-chaos-duck · 7 months

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PEOPLE OF DUCKBLR

I DID A THING

I made a little art book of Della's journey in the Spear of Selene! And I set it to the lyrics of Space Oddity by David Bowie!!!

So, here it issss (under the cut, it's LONG)

Listen to the song as you read for the best effect

Apologies in advance for making everyone cry over Della Angst

@justaboot @writebackatya @christianfoxymc @minaduck and all other Della stans out here, this is for you!

Ground control to Major Tom... Ground control to Major Tom...

Della leaves McDuck Manor, and faces the journey ahead.

Take your protein pills and put your helmet on Ground control to Major Tom

Della gets ready for takeoff. She initiates the launch sequence, there's no going back now, but it'll just be a few hours, right...?

Commencing countdown, engines on Check ignition, and may God's love be with you

Gyro (who I firmly believe LIVES in that lab or at the very least sleeps there a lot) wakes up to the sound of alarms blaring - how did she know it was here?!

Della has a picture of her and her family - little does she know...

This is ground control to Major Tom, you've really made the grade And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear

Gyro, in a panic, calls Scrooge, praying he'll wake up and answer.

Though it's two in the morning, he does.

Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare This is Major Tom to ground control, I'm stepping through the door

When Scrooge hears what's happened, he is understandably horrified, and rushes to the launch site at once.

And I'm floating in a most peculiar way And the stars look very different today

Della looks out at the stars. It's an unearthly beauty the likes of which she'd never imagined.

For here am I sitting in a tin can Far above the world

The Spear gets farther and father away from familiarity... from safety...

Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do

Della's journey is still going smoothly - for now.

*just pretend I did something for that instrumental break*

Though I've passed one hundred thousand miles, I'm feeling very still And I think my spaceship knows which way to go

Scrooge sits down at the comms desk, desperately trying to get a message through to Della.

The cosmic storm has started, and Della's a bit rattled, but not scared.

Tell my wife I love her very much She knows

Scrooge and Della are beginning to realise the gravity of the situation - she might not make it out of this one. Of course, neither of them wants to think that.

Ground control to Major Tom Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong

The Spear is struck by a fierce bolt of lightning borne from the stars themselves.

Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me, Major Tom?

Scrooge can scarcely bring himself to believe it - and neither can Della. The last time he'd heard her voice, and it was a helpless, piercing scream.

Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you— —Here am I floating 'round my tin can Far above the Moon

Scrooge bows his head in utter despair as tears begin to well up behind tired eyes. She's gone.

The Spear crash-lands on the lunar surface.

Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do...

Della stares back to the world she left behind.

Scrooge mourns for the niece he lost.

#the chaos duck has spoken #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt17 #scrooge mcduck #della duck #the spear of selene #chaos duck draws #duck feels! (woohoo)

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shadowzewolf · 1 year

Text

Luka Couffaine X Reader Smut

Sooo, Ive only read one Luka smut and I need more so I decided to make one for myself 🙌 here it issss (Both characters are aged up)

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I sat down and closed my eyes listening to the beautiful melody Luka played on his guitar. It was around 10 in the afternoon and the darkness and sound of the crickets made it sound ten times better. I wish he would touch me like he does his guitar, careful, soft, and slow. I stifled a small laugh at my thoughts and opened my eyes to find cyan-colored eyes looking at me, admiring me.

“What are you laughing at?” Luka said with a smile

“Oh nothing,” I said and smiled back

Before I could say anything else we get interrupted by Anarka and Juleka.

“Luka, me, and Juleka are going out for the night and won’t be back till tomorrow morning. Y/N if you're going to stay the night you can sleep on Julekas bed, ok?” Ankara said

“Alright mom have fun,” Luka said and smiled, continuing to strum his guitar

I waved at them and looked back at Luka. I've liked him for a while now and honestly, it's been hard but I think I'm finally getting the courage to tell him later tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat down on Luka's bed and finished drying my hair with a towel. Luka came in a few seconds later, his hair still wet from his shower as well.

“Sooo I know your mom said I can have Julekas bed but, do you mind if I sleep with you in yours,” I smiled innocently at him and waited for his response

“Yeah sure if you want, I don't mind” He smiled, and it looked like he tried hiding the small blush that spread across his cheeks, but I could definitely tell.

He turned off the lights and got into bed. I sat up and put my hands on the back of my bra straps.

“Do you mind If I take off my bra? I usually sleep with it off” I asked

“Oh, uh yeah that fine” He said quietly and turned facing the wall

I take it off and drop it on the floor, before climbing into bed with him. If im wanting to do it today then I should just tell him now.

“Hey, Luka?” I asked

“Yes?” He said and turned around to face me

“I've been wanting to tell you this for a while but, I've liked you since the day we met,” I said, trying to avoid eye contact with him, as my cheeks get redder and redder every second.

I feel him move his hand to my cheek, making me face him. Even in the dark, I could tell his cheeks were red as well, and the way his eyes looked at me with a glazed look, made me nervous.

He came closer, his lips inches apart from mine before he moved his lips to my ear.

“I’ve liked you since the day we met too,” he said before backing up and looking into my eyes, his hand slowly caressing my cheek.

Fuck it

I lean in closer and kiss him, he seems shocked at first but accepts it and kisses back. I feel his hands push me in closer and in an instant im on top of him. His hands move up to my cheeks, as mine to his hair, still a little damp from the shower. We stop kissing, both out of breath, before continuing our little make out session.

He slowly sits up and places his hands on my hips, before moving his lips down to my neck. I moaned quietly as I feel him suck and bite at my neck, leaving little marks. I slightly pull at his hair, and without thinking I begin grinding on him.

He let out a little “fuck” surprised at the sudden movement, but accepts it, using his hands to maneuver my hips more into him.

I grab his shirt and help him take it off, before removing mine. Both of his hands move up to my breast and he begins massaging one while kissing the other. I let out a moan at the feeling of his mouth sucking and nibbling slightly at my nipple. As he works his way to the other, I move one hand from his hair down to his sweatpants. I palm his dick over the fabric, feeling it get harder with every touch.

I feel him moan, and the vibration on my breast makes me shiver. He lets go of my breasts and takes off his sweatpants before helping me remove mine. I move down to his dick and touch it through his underwear.

“Want some help?” I ask looking up at him

He nods his head as I slowly remove his underwear. His dick pops up, a little pre-cum on the tip of it.

It felt big when I was touching it from his underwear but damn, it’s bigger than I thought.

I grab it and move my thumb across his tip, the pre-cum feeling sticky on my thumb. I look up at him and admire his beautiful face.

He’s looks so flustered… and beautiful

I move my hand up and down slowly, kissing it while looking up at him every now and then. I do that for a few seconds before putting my mouth on it and sucking him off. He grips the sheets and tries to stifle a moan but can't as he lets it out. I continue sucking him, moving my hands up and down at the ends I can't reach. After a while, I feel him twitch and I remove his dick from my mouth with a “pop” sound.

“Why’d you stop?” He asks out of breath

“You can’t come just yet, it wouldn't be fun if your the only one getting pleasured,” I smiled, stroking his dick and blowing on it slightly before looking up at his red face.

I take my underwear off and push him down on the bed, getting on top of him again. I grab a condom from his drawer and push his dick slowly into me. He places his hands on my hips and waits for me to move. He could tell I looked a little uncomfortable and put one of his hands on my cheek

“Does it hurt?” He asks feeling a little worried

“A little, but I'll get used to it,” I said and smiled at him, grabbing his hand and kissing it slowly

After a bit, the slight pain feeling is gone and I move my hips up before pushing them down. I let out a moan and keep jumping up and down on his dick. Pleasure filled both of us as I continue to move up and down on him.

He keeps his hands on my hips and turns us over so he's on top. He doesn't give me time to adjust before he begins thrusting into me. Every thrust he does makes me moan louder and louder as he groans at the feeling too.

“Lukaaa~ dont stop please!” I yell out

He thrusts faster into me and pushes my head up to kiss me, our tongues dancing together. A string of saliva connects our lips as he looks at me with loving eyes. I can feel myself about to cum, and him too as his dick twitches in me.

The sound of skin hitting, heavy breathing, and moans are the only thing heard throughout the boat.

As his thrusts get sloppier and sloppier, we both let out a moan as we cum at the same time. We're both breathing heavily as he looks down at me and kisses my forehead. Taking his dick out and throwing the condom away he goes to get wet rags to wipe himself and myself off. I kiss his cheek and sit on him grabbing his head to face me.

“That was amazing, Luka,” I said and smiled at him

He stifled a laugh, and I got up to use the restroom and get dressed.

I come back to see him dressed and waiting for me in bed. I climb in and he wraps his arms around me, telling me goodnight as we both drift off into sleep.

#smut #luka couffaine #x reader #smutshot #lukacouffainesmut #miraculous smut #miraculouladybugsmut #miraculous ladybug

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fxntxsix · 2 years

Text

15 September, 1967 (Elvis Presley/Austin! Elvis x Pregnant!Reader)

It is my duty to inform you that I actually hate this one and that's on me. Like in my head this whole situation is fucking adorable but that's being overpowered by my inability to put it into words so...I hate it. But it issss what it issss. Enjoy (or don't lmao I won't blame you).

P.S. - I personally imagine this with Austin! Elvis but you can imagine with the real Elvis Presley too

Feedback is appreciated but please be gentle lmao. Other than that let me know if I’ve made any grammatical errors or any of that. And my requests are always open!

Warnings: Pregnancy, labour, actual delivery of the child, pain for reader, swearing, low key death threat??, kinda fluffy ending (I think that's it but please let me know if I missed any!)

Words: 1510

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You were 35 and a half weeks pregnant and that meant that your little ‘bean’, as you had fondly started refering to the baby bump, was about to pop any day. As a result, you had been in a lot of discomfort for the last few days. Tonight, however, was particularly bad.

‘Bean’ had been relentlessly kicking your stomach for the last three hours and your abdomen and back were actually pulsating in pain. This is also why you had been pacing in front of the bed with your hands on your back, in an attempt to relieve the pain. It did not help.

You heard familiar footsteps coming up the stairs and into the bedroom, “Here baby, let me put this on your back and you should try to lie down.” Elvis had brought the hot pack that had become your best friend in the last nine months.

“E.P, is it ridiculous if I want to lie down on the floor for a while?” You had started breaking out into a sweat because of the pain.

“No baby, of course not, whatever makes you comfortable.”

He grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it onto the floor. Then, he gave you his hand so you could put all your weight on him while you kneeled down on the floor slowly. Once you were lying flat with just the pillow under your head, he slipped the hot pack under your body. You shut your eyes and let out a sigh of momentary relief.

He bent over to kiss your forehead, “Satnin, I’m just going to brush my teeth and I’ll be back in a minute.” He was already in his black silky nightsuit, ready for bed. While you wore some maternity pants and one of his shirts.

You could hear the water running in the bathroom because he had left the door to the en suite open, just in case you needed to call out to him. It hadn’t even been two minutes since he left when you felt a jab of excrutiating pain in your lower back. It was so bad that you lurched up into a sitting position. Suddenly, you felt it.

Warm liquid running down your thighs and you looked down with a level of panic you’ve never felt before. Instinctually you yelled, “E.P! Elvis!”

“Darling? What’s wrong?”

“I think my water just broke.”

“You what?!”

You knew it was a rhetorical question because he was in front of you in a flash, already helping you up. This was it. It was finally happening and he couldn’t get the grin off his face. Then, he took in your expression of absolute fear and anxiety.

He cupped your face in both his hands, “Satnin, you gotta listen to me okay? We gon’ be just fine. There’s no need to panic. I’m going to be right next to you the entire time, you hear?”

You nodded because you believed him even though you felt like you were on the verge of tears. As quickly as possible, he helped you clean up and change into the loose long dress you had kept aside weeks ago for this. You saw him slipping on shoes but he was still in his night suit.

“Are you not going to change?”

“No baby, I know it’s going to be okay but I would just like to get to the hospital as soon as we can.”

Yes, Elvis was excited beyond belief because he knew he was going to be a great daddy and you were going to be an even better momma, but, the tiniest speck of anxiousness seemed to creep in because he was a firm believer in having professionals around for this sort of thing and he sure as hell was not a delivery professional.

He carefully brought you down the stairs, picked up the hospital to-go bag and put you and the bag in one of his cars. He was sure he broke almost all traffic rules that night because he could see the pain getting worse. Although, the entire time he held your hand and tried his best to talk you through it.

By the time you were at the hospital’s entrance, you felt like you were going to burst. Your surpressed grunts were starting to turn into little yelps and the once dull ache started to feel like you were being stabbed by a searing hot iron rod.

Both of you pushed through the doors and Elvis loudly said, “Can we get some help here quickly?” He had alerted the nurses in the E.R. who rushed over with a clip boards and a wheelchair, which Elvis insisted on pushing while he answered the nurse’s questions.

About fifteen minutes later, you were situated on the appropriate bed, with your legs spread and a sheet covering them. Elvis was adorned in the mandatory scrubs and standing by your side, letting you squeeze his hand as hard as you wanted.

“The contractions are getting closer together so I think she’ll be ready to push in another 10-20 minutes,” the doctor informed both of you.

By now you were drenched in sweat and your hair was stuck to your forehead and cheeks because of your constant thrashing around. The tears had also started welling up in your eyes. The pain was so bad that everything was starting to annoy you - the high temperature of your body, everything being so sticky, the uncomfortable position, the inability to have any control over the process or your body.

You could feel a very aggressive melt-down coming. Unfortunately, Elvis made the mistake of cooing what he thought were comforting words to you, “Hey pretty girl, I’m so proud of you. You’re doing so well, satnin.”

“ELVIS I SWEAR TO GOD! AAAHHH!!! I’m going to kill you!”

He cocked his head in confusion and looked at you like you had kicked a puppy. This only pissed you off more.

“How could you do this to me?! You have no fucking cLUE HOW MUCH THIS HURTS AAAH.”

The doctor, judging from your screams, decided to check the situation once more. So, she put her head under the sheet and came back up a second later to say, “Yep, I thought so. Alright sweetie, you’re going to have to push now.”

You pulled your upper body up, with Elvis’ hand on your back to support you, you pushed with everything you had in you, “AAAHHH!” The tears were now streaming down your face.

Elvis continued to provide his support, “Come on baby, push!”

“I am pushing!!! You wanna try, asshat?!!!”

Elvis was well aware that you didn’t mean anything you were currently saying and that it was just the intensity of the experience getting to you. On the contrary, he found your insults adorable and let out a little chuckle.

You continued pushing, except this time your hand shot up to his scrubs and you jerked him to you with such force that he let out a little “hmph” sound.

“You think this is funny Elvis??? I AM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SLEEP AND NO MORE SEX. AH. EVER. AAH. AGAIN. AAAHH!” Your last few words were cut off by screams and more pushes.

After another grueling hour and one last loud insult thrown at Elvis from you, you finally heard the sound you had been waiting to hear for nine months. It was the cry of a baby.

---

Baby’s Name: Evangeline Jean Presley

Date of birth: 15 September, 1967

Time of birth: 4:08AM

Physicalities: 6 pounds, 3 ounces, 19 inches

There she was, in your arms and you both knew that you had never felt love like this.

You were shifted out of the operation theatre into a private room and Evie, short for Evangeline, had been taken to get cleaned up and wrapped in a baby pink blanket.

Elvis had waited with you, sitting on the bed so that you had your head on his chest, recovering from the delivery. The nurse had come in and given her to you to hold and once again, you were sobbing but for a very different reason.

“Hi Evie, hi baby,” you managed to say through your sobs. “Oh Lord, Elvis, we did this. We made an angel.”

Now he was sniffling and he kissed the top of your head, “Darling, that was all you. You’ve made me the happiest man alive. I love you, both of you, my girls.”

A beat of silence passed before you spoke up again, "I’m sorry for everything I said during the delivery. I didn’t mean any of it. Just the pain and everyt-.”

“Hush satnin, I know.” You both smiled before he asked, “But I just need you to confirm on that ‘no more sex’ thing because that might be a deal-breaker.”

You burst out laughing, “Goddamn E.P., keep it in your pants in front of Evie at least.” Then you both went into silence again, just staring at the wonderful miracle that had come into your life.

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@adoresbutlers @butler-on-beale-street @eu-whoria @emmymaehereeeeee @dreamersparacosm @she-is-juniper @austinbutlerr @sassy-ahsoka-tano @mamaspresley @enchantinglyjade @stargiirl27 @neverasfarawayasitmayseemxo @dawnmay @unadulteratedkingdomzombie @honeypieknox @foreverdolly @dre6ming @presleysnotes @elli3m4yy @pennyroyalcreep @queen-multi-fandoms @butlerslut @austin-butler-library @xo-2high2cry @satninbeaulieu @asshlyyyy @fantuhsise @shrekstheloml @lindszeppelin @bisexualwvtson @2lekk @raefoxiegirl @flwrs4aust @angelicalprncss @chrisevansgirl34

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transmurderbug · 28 days

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🐛 Weekly Tag Wednesday! 🐛

Thank you for the tags, Kat @mybrainismelted, Kaka @stocious, Evie @energievie, Comet @spacerockwriting, Nosho @creepkinginc, Jess @jrooc and Alice @spookygingerr! So many people! 🥰💙

Weekly Tag Wednesday - Firsts!

Name: Sky 🪲🪨

Age: Nosho divided by zero.

First Pet? My family's German Shepherd named Döme. The first pet that was mine was a guinea pig. His name was Kormos (smoky/sooty).

First Word? As if my mother remembers 😂 All I know is that my father wanted it to be dezoxiribonukleinsav (DNA, but in Hungarian).

First Celebrity Crush? 🤷

First IRL Crush? One of these days I'll need a scientific rundown of what that's supposed to feel like. I never had one, I guess?

First kiss? Sorry, this one is a skip for me. Blah.

First Car? Issss the one I still have! A 2009 Renault Clio Grandtour. My pookie (yes I am THAT person).

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? A small ass apartment I half lived in with someone.

First time on a plane? A family vacation when I was around... 5. It was fun! I've been totally in love with flying ever since.

First cellphone? A "hand me down" from my mother, an old... Nokia? If I remember correctly. Your typical "you're going to school and coming home on your own, here, in case you need it".

First concert? I don't remember... I'm pretty sure some kind of a rock concert though. I was raised on good music. The first one that I excitedly got tickets for on my own was when I was 15, one of my favorite bands was celebrating a birthday.

First foreign country you visited? I think it was Austria when I was a few months old!

First sport you ever played? Athletics from basically the day I could walk. Nothing specific at first, but I ended up being a good jumper and sprinter later. My true calling was probably discus/javelin/hammer, anything you can throw.

First career aspiration? It was constantly changing, but the focus point was always animals.

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think "wow" That's a tough one... maybe back when I was doing graphics extracurricular in school and we designed some background set for theatre, more specifically for an Oz play. The yellow brick road I worked on turned out pretty cool! I used to write poems too, some weren't too horrid 👀

Tagging, because I'm on time! Voluntary, as always, if you wanna pass, here, have this apple: 🍏 @ian-galagher @transmickey @deathclassic @gallapiech @look-i-love-u @suzy-queued @mickeysgaymom @sam-loves-seb @heymrspatel @dynamic-power @blue-disco-lights @thepupperino @metalheadmickey @transsexual-dandelions @sgtmickeyslaughter @ms-moonlight-inn @palepinkgoat @krysmiss @callivich @rayrayor @francesrose3 @lee-ow aaaand anyone else my scrambled brain is forgetting.

#weekly tag games #tag game #tag game wednesday #and I am on time look at me go!#some of these questions got me 🧐

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jahayla-parker · 11 months

Note

I would really love a Freddy Carter drunk fluff fic where he gets super tipsy and finds his Gf, the reader and she helps him. I'd love if it could have lots of hiccups and drunken belches/burps???

Thanks love!!

Drunk In Love : Freddy Carter x Reader

Desc: 4.7k wc, y/n has to help take care of her boyfriend Freddy when he drinks too much. Fluff, Freddy being a simp for reader, comfort, ‘sick’ fic trope.

Warnings: a few swear words, drinking and talks of alcoholic beverages, mentions of hangovers and other side effects of drinking, very minor warnings tbh

“Wherrre issss y/n” Freddy frowned, his hand sliding down from his brother, Tom’s, shoulder as he returned to their table. He couldn’t figure out where his girlfriend, y/n, had went off to. Freddy and y/n had gone out tonight with their friends and his older brother. They’d been at this particular pub for what felt like an hour, but Freddy hadn’t seen y/n since they first got here.

Tom laughed loudly as he noticed his brother’s state. He shook his head slightly, “I don’t know mate, but you might want to take it easy on the drinks”. Tom wasn’t sure how many beverages his brother had so far, but it was clearly enough to make him tipsy.

Freddy furrowed his brows, “whhhaaat drinksss?” His eyes danced around the table, making note of everyone’s empty glasses. “They’re allll eeempty” Freddy argued.

Tom chuckled, “exactly”. When Freddy only appeared to become more confused, Tom rolled his eyes. “Let’s go find your girl, hmm?” He knew Freddy needed to start pacing his drinks but suspected y/n would be better at convincing him of that. Tom placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders as he tried to lead Freddy towards where they’d last seen his girlfriend.

Freddy pouted dramatically as he sloppily sat down at the bar, his brother holding him up with one hand. His eyes slowly dragged across the room in hopes of finding y/n. Freddy slouched against the bar in defeat upon not having found her during his brief search.

“I texted her Fred, she’s headed over” Tom chuckled, once again shaking his head at his brother’s drunken state.

Freddy perked up slightly only for him to burp loudly, having sucked in too much air. He slapped a hand over his mouth as Tom laughed even louder. “Wherrree issss-“ Freddy mumbled, dropping his hand.

“Give her a sec” Tom groaned, rolling his eyes as he sat down beside Freddy.

Freddy merely huffed dramatically before hiccuping. His chest shook as he tried to contain his hiccups. Once they resolved, Freddy resumed pouting as he played with the hem of his shirt.

Y/n suppressed her chuckle as she noticed Freddy’s slouched posture. Even from a slight distance, it was clear he was using the bar counter for support. She took a deep breath in preparation of whatever silly, over the top, theatrics her drunk boyfriend would throw her way tonight. Y/n approached from behind Freddy, placing a hand on his shoulder. She bashfully bit her lip as Freddy lazily threw his head backwards and grinned adorably up at her.

“Hey handsome, you doing okay?” Y/n asked, lifting his head back up before walking to his side. She smiled and nodded at Tom in appreciation for getting her. Had y/n known Freddy planned on drinking this much, she would’ve stayed by his side to keep an eye on him.

Freddy nodded his head, a tiny hiccup escaping his lips. His eyes widened in response before he pressed his lips into a fine line as he moved his gaze back to y/n.

“You're too adorable for your own good" Y/n laughed. She smirked at the pink flush on Freddy’s cheeks darkening at her comment. Y/n tilted her head slightly as she examined the rest of his appearance. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.

“I’m fiiinne” Freddy dragged out, trying to stand up. He wanted to move closer to y/n and figured he’d walk the few feet to her and then use the bar as support again. Only, Freddy didn’t make it much closer to y/n before he began to stumble.

Fortunately, Y/n was very attentive towards her tipsy boyfriend. She managed to catch Freddy by his arm before he fell. "You are anything but fine right now" y/n commented softly.

“No but youuureee fiine” Freddy smirked crookedly, his dizzy body being held up by y/n. He blinked slowly, his sloppy smirk still on his lips as he tried to wink at his girlfriend.

Tom groaned before erupting in laughter, “oh my”.

Y/n bit her lip and shook her head. “That was really cheesy” she pointed out with a grin.

“Cheeesse?“ Freddy questioned followed by a loud belch. Unfazed by his noisy burp, he glanced around in search of what y/n was talking about. Freddy’s eyes furrowed as he struggled to comprehend her response, not having found any cheese nearby.

Y/n hummed, a lighthearted smirk on her face. “How many drinks did you have?" she asked, sending Freddy a knowing look.

Freddy just stared back at y/n with a dorky smile, making Tom laugh.

“Freddy, babe, how many did you have?” Y/n asked again. When she still didn’t get a response, she glanced over at Tom. Y/n was hoping Freddy’s brother would have some estimate for her. Unfortunately, she was let down when Tom merely shrugged. Y/n turned back to face Freddy.

Freddy had already been watching y/n. So when she turned to him, he answered her earlier question. It had taken Freddy some time to figure out the answer, but now he had it. “Threes two,” he mumbled proudly.

“Three two?” Y/n repeated in confusion.

“I heard thirty two,” Tom commented, eyes wide as he stared at Freddy.

“Thirty two? Shit, I hope not,” Y/n laughed. She knew Tom had to be wrong. Y/n had no doubt Freddy was plastered. But she knew he would never have 32 drinks in one night.

“Nooo,” Freddy whined just before he hiccuped. He focused on y/n with an intense gaze as he repeated himself. “Three,” he hiccuped. Holding up two fingers, Freddy continued, “two”. His last word was followed by yet another hiccup.

Y/n shot a glance at Tom to see if he was having any luck understanding her drunken boyfriend’s gibberish. Upon not getting any suggestion from his brother, she gazed back at Freddy. Giving it her best shot, y/n took a guess at what he was trying to say. “Three OR two?” she clarified.

Freddy nodded his head excitedly. He giggled as he grinned widely at y/n. It was evident Freddy was pleased she had understood him.

“I think you may have lost count honey,” y/n commented softly. “When was the last time you drank water?” she asked, squeezing his hand.

“Doesn’t taste aaaaasssss goood,” Freddy pouted. His pout was broken as he let out a burp. Only for that burp to be accompanied by others.

Ignoring Freddy’s belching for the moment, y/n asked the bartender for a glass of water. She quickly thanked the worker before smiling at her boyfriend. “Hmm, can you drink some water for me?” y/n asked sweetly, pushing the glass closer to him.

“For yooou?” Freddy hiccuped. When he saw y/n nod, he dizzily nodded back. Sucking on some more air after his latest hiccup, he whispered, “okaaayy”. Freddy quickly took hold of the glass and started to chug it.

Y/n had to close her eyes as she resisted the urge to laugh. She was pleased Freddy complied with her request, but since he’d drank his water way too fast, he went back to burping loudly. Y/n squeezed his hand that was resting on the bar counter, “slowly, darling”.

“Naaah uuh,” Freddy argued, shaking his head. His movements caused the glass to slip from his lips, making water drip down his bottom lip towards his chin.

Y/n leaned closer and used her free hand to wipe the water from Freddy’s face. “Why not?” she questioned, lowering her hand.

Freddy’s unsteady hand swayed the glass of water side to side as he answered, “I wanna kiiiiss”.

Y/n and Tom laughed. She smiled and nodded, “hmmm, you can have a kiss if you drink some more water”. As she saw Freddy raise the glass back to his lips in a ridiculously fast pace, y/n added, “slowly!” She visibly winced as the glass smacked against his chin.

Freddy huffed but nodded. He complied with her instructions, sipping on the water in a much slower manner. Yet, he refused to set the glass down at all until he was finished. Once Freddy’s glass was empty, he grinned widely at y/n.

Y/n chuckled lightly, leaning closer to Freddy. When she was close enough, Freddy’s wet lips eagerly made contact with hers. Y/n smiled into his needy kiss, softly kissing him back before pulling away. “I’m going to go tell y/f/n and y/of/n that we’re going to head out, I’ll be back,” y/n explained, looking at Tom to make sure he could repeat it to Freddy if needed.

Y/n smiled at Freddy as she returned to the bar counter. She grabbed his hand in hers and squeezed it lovingly. “Y/f/n and y/of/n are going to finish their drinks and then we’ll head out,” y/n informed Tom and Freddy.

“Am I driving or you?” Tom asked y/n.

Y/n hummed and looked over at her boyfriend to check on his state. “I’ll drive, that way we don’t need to arrange getting his car back from you tomorrow,” she said, nodding her head towards Freddy. Y/n added, “just make sure he doesn’t puke in the back, hmm?”

Tom laughed and nodded, “I’ll tell you to pull over, or maybe just open the door and shove him”.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and shook her head, “no scuffing up my boyfriend”.

Tom hummed and pretended to debate the notion. However, he suddenly stopped and stared questioningly at his younger brother; making y/n also turn to face Freddy.

“What’s wrong?” Y/n asked softly, having seen the deep pout that was now on Freddy’s face.

"Hooold my haaandd?" Freddy requested, giving her glossy puppy dog eyes.

Y/n giggled and bit her lip. “Freddy, I already am sweetheart,” she explained. Y/n lifted their intertwined hands up to show him when he seemed to doubt her. She couldn’t help but giggle some more when Freddy sighed in relief and smiled contentedly at her.

Y/n noticed the way Freddy’s eyes slowly started to close more and more as they waited. She watched him silently for a few minutes. Y/n made note of how Freddy would only ‘wake up’ to burp or hiccup before his eyes narrowed sleepily again. As adorable and funny as it was, she knew her man needed sleep.

“I’ll be back,” y/n said quietly. “I don’t know what’s taking them so long,” she explained, kissing Freddy’s flushed cheek. “I’ll go check,” y/n alerted Tom, motioning with her eyes for him to watch Freddy for her in the interim.

Y/n had only made it a few steps away from the men when she heard Freddy whine loudly. She quickly spun around but couldn’t see what had caused his outburst. “Love, what’s happening?” Y/n wondered.

Freddy tried to stand, his legs unsteady as he stepped closer to her. Fortunately for him, Tom saw the worried look in y/n’s eyes and stopped him from trying to continue his approach. Having been restricted in movement by his brother, Freddy resorted to pouting again. “Yooou’rrre too far awayyyy,” he hiccuped.

Tom laughed loudly, “you're seriously like a man-child."

Y/n shook her head, “Tom-“.

Tom held up one hand, “I know, I know”. He laughed and more forcefully guided Freddy back to his barstool. “She’ll be back soon mate,” Tom said trying to make his tone sympathetic enough to appease y/n. He glanced over his shoulder at y/n and waved her on, “I’ve got him”.

However, Freddy once again stood up as he realized y/n was leaving his side. His legs shook and Tom’s grip on him was the only thing truly keeping him from stumbling.

Y/n sighed softly, “Freddy”. She walked closer, looping her arm under his armpits for more support. “You should probably sit down,” y/n advised. “I’ll be right back okay?”

Freddy shook his head, “but- but…, first…“.

“Mhmm?” Y/n responded, helping him back into the stool at the bar.

“Can … caaan I steallll your heaaart?” Freddy flirted drunkenly. His hand sliding down y/n’s bicep towards her wrist.

Y/n stifled a laugh and shook her head. “No, I’m afraid not,” she teased, brushing Freddy’s messy hair away from his eyes.

Freddy immediately frowned, his bottom lip starting to tremble slightly. His eyes began to water as he looked up at y/n. “Whyyy?” he complained.

Y/n let out a remorseful puff of breath. She cupped Freddy’s face in her hands and smiled lovingly at him. “You already have it,” y/n reminded him delicately.

“Ohhhh,” Freddy gasped. He smiled crookedly, his eyes thin as he tried to say something else. Whatever Freddy had been planning on saying was cut off as he hiccuped again. Seemingly having caught on to his difficulty speaking, he opted to pull y/n in for a hug.

Y/n smiled to herself as she wrapped her arms around Freddy. She leaned back slightly to place a tender kiss to his forehead. As she pulled back from the hug, she noticed Freddy was wearing a ridiculously large grin. “What are you smiling about?" Y/n hummed.

Freddy’s rosey cheeks flushed deeper as he nibbled on his bottom lip. “Yooou’re sooo preetty,” He slurred before he failed to fight off another hiccup.

Y/n giggled, “thank you Freddy”. She squeezed his cheeks softly. But as y/n went to find their friends, she heard Freddy whisper “kissss me?” She smirked and nodded, complying by giving him a small kiss.

"Your… lips taaaaste liiike… dreams” Freddy flirted, giving y/n a lazy wink.

"That doesn't even make sense,” y/n laughed, shaking her head.

Freddy scoffed, “doesss too”.

Y/n hummed, “okay, sure”. She brushed some off Freddy’s hair to the side and placed another light kiss to his forehead. “Stay with Tom, I’ll be back,” y/n requested.

Freddy’s brows scrunched, “yooou are leaving meee?”

Y/n fought off the urge to giggle. “Only momentary. I have to. But I’ll be back” she promised. Upon having seen Freddy’s reluctance y/n signed. “I'm going to take care of you, okay? I just have to stay away for a moment” y/n told him, “then I’m yours for the rest of the night, kay?”

Freddy grinned and nodded, his eyes closing some as he started relaxing again.

“Nooo y/n isss,” Freddy slurred, glaring weakly at the stranger across from him.

Y/n rose her eyebrows as she approached. “What’s going on?” She asked Tom, glancing at Freddy and the guy he was talking to. “Why does Freddy look mad?” Y/n questioned, watching the stranger closely.

Tom shook his head, “one second”. “Mate, let it go,” he directed towards Freddy. Tom sighed as Freddy shook his head.

“Seeee,” Freddy argued, pointing a wavering finger at y/n. “Beauuuutiful,” he commented, squinting his eyes at the stranger.

“Mate for real, if you insult my girl one more time,” the stranger hissed in warning.

Y/n eyed Tom for an explanation as to what she’d walked up on.

“She,” Tom said, nodding his head towards the random girl beside the stranger. “Told Freddy she liked his hair and, he took it as her flirting,” he explained. As he shook his head in exasperation, Tom continued, “now, he’s on a rant about how much better you are than her”.

Y/n was pleased Tom whispered the update to her, not wanting to further ignite the tension. She walked closer to Freddy and placed her hand on his shoulder, sending the stranger an apologetic smile. “Darling, let’s just go home,” y/n suggested.

Freddy merely shook his head, his eyes still tensely squinting. “Nooo. Heeee’s wrrroonng,” he argued.

Y/n sighed, “Freddy-“.

“Yoou, loove,” Freddy rambled, turning to look at her. “Sooo preetieer,” he complimented causally. “Niiiicccer,” Freddy continued, his ‘c’ dragging out until it formed a hissing sound. He looked back over at the stranger and the girl beside him. Freddy shook his head, “nooot herrrr”.

Y/n frantically lowered Freddy’s hand as he pointed at the random girl. She took a deep breath as Tom moved between the stranger and Freddy. Y/n tugged on Freddy’s hand, “let’s go, Freddy”. “Now,” she pleaded, seeing his reluctance.

Freddy huffed dramatically. “Looove,” he sighed.

“Yoooou arree beeeette-“ Freddy adamantly continued.

Y/n placed her hand over Freddy’s mouth to stop his babbling. She could tell the stranger was getting fed up with Freddy’s behavior. “Baby, can you please shut the fuck up,” y/n pleaded, leading Freddy’s drunk body away from the others so he couldn’t keep instigating an unnecessary fight.

When Tom joined y/n and Freddy outside, y/n lowered her hand from Freddy’s face and turned to Tom. “Never mind what I said earlier,” she began. “You drive, I need to be in the back with him,” y/n declared, “if you drive, you can crash with us tonight, or we can get the car back tomorrow once he’s sober”. She glanced over at Freddy who was clinging to her body and smiling carelessly up at her. “That way I can keep an eye on this one,” y/n hummed.

Y/n tried to get Freddy to get off his phone for the duration of the car ride. Tom was driving and had just gotten done dropping off y/f/n and y/of/n. She knew that meant they only had another fifteen minutes to go until Tom arrived at her and Freddy’s home. In other words, y/n had to keep Freddy from throwing up or doing anything stupid or reckless for at least fifteen minutes before she could put him to bed.

Y/n wasn’t successful in getting Freddy to put his phone down. Nor did she know what it was he was doing since he was childishly hiding his screen from her. But, y/n was just glad he wasn’t typing and therefore it wasn’t likely he was drunk texting anyone. She rested her head on the window as she watched Freddy closely, making sure he wasn’t making himself sick by reading in the back seat while drunk.

Freddy suddenly glanced up at y/n, a crooked smirk forming. “Are yooou,” he hiccuped before pausing to look down at his phone again. “Maade ooout ooof,” Freddy slurred, flickering his eyes up to y/n briefly before back to his phone. “Graapes?” he asked.

Y/n raised her eyebrow at him questioningly. “What?” she asked, sitting up straight. Y/n knew Freddy had been long gone for awhile, but she was truly lost on this conversation. Normally she could piece together whatever drunken thoughts Freddy cared to share, but this one stumped her.

Freddy stared at his phone, his eyes lazily rereading the next line several times. He grinned up at y/n, “‘cause yooou are fiiiinne aaas wiiiiinnne”. Based on the deep dimples on his cheeks, Freddy was pretty proud of himself.

Y/n laughed and shook her head, “Freddy, wha-?” She reached over and took his phone, her eyes scanning the page he had pulled up. Y/n giggled more and locked the device before giving it back to him. “You don’t need to research pickup lines Freddy,” she assured him, playing with the wavy hairs covering his forehead.

Tom laughed loudly from the front seat as he mumbled something incoherent.

“Ohh,” Freddy hummed, “kaay”. He scooted across the seat, moving closer to y/n. “Onlllly yooou,” Freddy mumbled, pointing to y/n’s hand that was in his hair.

Y/n smirked and nodded. “Yeah darling, I’m the only one who gets to play with your hair,” she agreed, her fingers stroking his slightly clammy forehead underneath said hair. “You’re mine and I don’t share, but clearly I don’t need to worry,” y/n teased lovingly, pulling him closer. She smiled to herself as Freddy cuddled into her embrace with tired eyes.

Y/n propped their front door open with her foot as she guided Freddy inside. “I think it's time for bed,” she suggested warmly as she slid her foot past the threshold, letting the door close behind her. Y/n gave Freddy’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze as he leaned against her tiredly.

Y/n pressed a soft kiss to Freddy’s cheek as she walked him to their bathroom. “Sit here,” she encouraged, stroking his cheek as she sat him on the closed toilet seat lid. Y/n quickly dashed to their bedroom to grab some clothing for him to sleep in, not wanting to risk leaving him alone for too long. She’d noticed how unsteady his body was and didn’t want him to topple onto the floor in her absence.

It was hard for y/n to resist a chuckle as she returned to find Freddy trying to sleep while seated. “Hmmm,” she cooed, “almost, handsome, just need to change, okay?”. Y/n didn’t care if he slept in the shirt he had on tonight, but she suspected his jeans would be uncomfortable to sleep in. She helped him stand up, letting Freddy use her body for support as he clumsily tried to change his clothes.

When y/n had gotten her boyfriend into more comfortable, and non-pub-scented, clothing, she cautiously led him to their bed. During her attempts to help Freddy change, she realized he was burping a lot more. There were still a few hiccups, but y/n was concerned by how often he was burping and whether it would cause him to vomit tonight. So she walked very slowly to guide him to the bed, hoping to not upset his stomach anymore than it already had been tonight.

After settling Freddy under the covers, y/n brushed his messy hair from his eyes and gave him a kiss. “Im going to change,” y/n whispered as to not cause him to get up when she stepped away from their bed. However, she’d barely made it to the dresser when she heard Freddy slip out of the bed.

Y/n spun around, watching as Freddy dashed back to the bathroom. He’d turned the fan on, so she had a hard time hearing what was going on in there. But, y/n could make out that he was still belching and hiccuping with only minimal pauses between. Just as she went to knock on the door, she heard the sink running and decided to wait.

When Freddy exited the bathroom with a clammy forehead, even more tired eyes, and a frown, y/n sighed. “Oh honey,” she frowned, checking his forehead with the back of her hand. Y/n let out a breath of relief since Freddy at least wasn’t feverish. “Did you throw up in there?” she questioned concerned.

“Nooo,” Freddy said with another hiccup. Even in his drunken state he could see the doubt in y/n’s gaze. But, Freddy was too out of it, his mind far too busy and buzzing, to explain himself. Instead, he leaned against his loving girlfriend and let her guide him back to bed.

Y/n turned from their bed after having covered Freddy up with the comforter again. “I’ll be right back,” she whispered, this time walking into their bathroom. Y/n quickly looked around, checking to see if he had in-fact thrown up after all.

However, y/n noticed Freddy must’ve just emptied his bladder instead. She sighed in relief that the night was nearly over and he’d so far been able to keep all the liquor down. Y/n flushed the toilet and lowered the lid for Freddy, washing her hands before exiting the bathroom.

Y/n’s eyes softened as she grinned at Freddy’s sleepy face. She watched silently for a few seconds as his eyelashes slowly flittered against his high cheekbones. Despite Freddy’s sharp features, whenever he was resting y/n thought he always seemed so soft and precious. Y/n shook her head to herself as she tried to will herself to temporarily look away so she could finish her last task of the night.

Y/n paused, turning her head to look over her shoulder at the sound of Freddy’s feet pattering across their wooden flooring. “What’re you doing out of bed?” she tsked warmly, smiling at his blanket cladded sleepy form. Y/n had been trying to make some breakfast for him tomorrow, something that should help with the anticipated nausea and hangover y/n knew he’d have in the morning. She also didn’t want the sounds from cooking said breakfast to make his impending headache worse tomorrow. But, y/n feared she must’ve woken him instead by doing it tonight.

Freddy pouted, his face barely peeking through the comforter he’d dragged with him. “Miiissssed yooou,” he whined.

Y/n smiled and stifled a giggle. “I’m coming,” she nodded, putting the meal in the refrigerator. Y/n shut the door and walked over to her drowsy boyfriend. She cupped his cheeks, “let’s go get you back to bed”.

“Misssss,” Freddy hiccuped. “Yoooou,” he added, another hiccup following his whine. Freddy tilted his head to the side as he watched y/n step towards the counter, his pout returning.

Y/n didn’t have to be looking at him to know he was pouting again. She smiled to herself and shook her head lightly. “I’m just getting meds for you for the morning and tonight,” y/n explained, grabbing the cup now filled with water that she’d gotten down and filled earlier. She then pulled over a bottle of medicine from the kitchen counter.

“Yooooou’re my med-medicciinne,” Freddy said, the last word coming out very jumbled and slurred. But his blushing cheeks certainly cleared up any doubt one might’ve had over what he was saying.

“Freddy, take the meds,” y/n chuckled, passing him a few pills and the water.

Freddy shook his head, the blanket slightly restricting his movements. “Nuuuh uh,” he argued childishly.

Y/n sighed and frowned. “Let me take care of you,” she requested, intentionally holding eye contact with Freddy. “Now, take the meds,” y/n repeated kindly, pushing her hands closer to him.

Freddy stared silently into y/n’s gaze for a moment before nodding slowly. “Kaaay,” he hiccuped, grabbing the items from y/n. Freddy dutifully swallowed the pills and slid the glass down to counter towards her.

Y/n thanked Freddy and then rested her hand on the blanket covering his shoulders as she encouraged him to walk back to their bedroom. She saw Freddy had turned on the bedside lamp so she quickly turned off the ceiling light as she followed him in.

Freddy hummed contentedly as y/n helped him back into bed. His tired and lazy eyes watched as she lovingly made sure he was comfortable and that the blanket covered him completely. “Yoooou loooovve meee, rrrighht?” he asked, closing his eyes.

Y/n giggled, “of course I do”. She stroked the side of Freddy’s face with her fingertips, “always”.

Freddy silently smiled to himself, melting into the blankets. Just as he seemed to begin calming down for the night, he mumbled, “waaaait, whaa?”.

As she shook her head softly at Freddy, y/n smiled. “Angel, you asked if I loved you,” she reminded him with a small laugh. “I was saying I do love -“ y/n began to explain.

Only, suddenly Freddy was alert and no longer almost asleep. “Whoooo dooo yooou lllove?” He asked as he sloppily tried to sit up. Freddy’s lips curled downwards due to his jealous state. He tried to huff loudly but it came out as a burp.

Y/n bit into her bottom lip as she laughed. “You, Freddy,” she answered, delicately laying him back down. After tucking Freddy in for the millionth time tonight, y/n cupped his face and kissed his nose, “you are the one I love”.

This seemed to truly settle Freddy as he smiled, suddenly appearing sleepy again now that he realized he didn’t have to be jealous. “Doooon’t leaaaave,” he whined, holding y/n’s hand.

Y/n nodding in reassurance. She cautiously helped Freddy slide back so she could get into the bed from the same side. Once she’d crawled into bed beside Freddy, y/n silently began playing with his hair.

Freddy lazily smiled, his eyes getting heavier as he felt himself drifting off to sleep.

“You’re purring,” y/n commented with an amused hum.

Freddy’s cheeks blushed as he let his eyes close, sleep quickly taking over him.

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