#this is the first time i've actually been able to give short and sweet recommendations

[kamisama1kiss]

Words counted: 1,000 ish

My first ever story posted here :D request should be open and I'm also up for criticism as for inproving my writing. I am also dyslexic, sorry beforhand. Enjoy ♡

Kai Smith Princess Au

It was warm and lit from the fire place being only a few feet away from where she sat, reading yet another romance novelle. She had placed herself with a small table in the corner of the castle library, the smell of burning pine wood lingerd in the air giving a home like feeling. There stood no other lights, relying on the fire place for lights making writing a tad bit eyestrining.

A semi loud creek screamed through the quiet library, snapping the princesses gaze to where the door is. Behold there stood the knight in shining armor that her father the King assigned her, clearly not trusting her. Seeing who it was her eyes want back to the page she previuslly was looking at.

"Good evening, Princess." A low, husky voice spoke up sitting down in the chair opposite of my own. "What is the book worm reading this time? A comedy? Or..." pousing as he leaned his elbow on the wooden rounded table, pointing at the red leather coverd book in my hands. Looking up at him with a small smile resting on my face, watching him guess. "..Most likely a romance?" He crooked his eyebrow at me.

"Hm yeah, it is another Romance book." Closing the book in the process, laying it down on the table. The knights face beams with joy, pleased with the achivments, his world known grin spread across his lips. "I knew that" leaning back in the chair crossing his arms. "It's not like I read them all the time, no no. Not at all." Scoffing with my answer not making him loose any pride.

"Whatever you say Princess. Anyways, I'm here because the King wanted to tell you some informasjon about the upcoming ball." He informed me as his gaze jumped around the room before landing on me, staying as such. "Okay, I will talk to him soon. It's not that urdgent of a topic anyhow." Shurgging my shoulders as my eyes look at the red leather book, carressing the spine of the book with my one hand. Shifting my view up to the spikey brown haired knight.

The fire place brighten his features I hadn't truly noticed before now, soft lights brown freckles skatterd on the bridge of his nose only a few but enough to be noticable. Half a eyebrow slit on his left side followed with it going under his eye, a decent long scar being the reasoning behind it. He is an attractive man. I won't fool myself.

Nodding to what I had said "Well, how about you explain what happens in the little book of yours than? As you said the topic wasn't that urdgent" Soinding intreged with the book, leaning forwards again resting both his arms on the table while still looking at me. "I haven't gotten far but I can tell what I've been able to catch so far." Admitting the book was new from not long before he arrived.

"Go ahead, I have all day" Dragning the word 'all' a few seconds, a small little chuckle escaped my lips. "The book is about a Girl who wishes to find her true lover, but her family tries to stop her at every chance they've got. She goes through blood and mud to let alone escape her so called family..." stopping myself for a second seeing as the knights eyes were watching me, as if every word from my mouth was analysed by him. "...And that's what has happened so far. I've only gotten to about chapter 4"

"Seems brutal, very brutal. How did you even find this book?" Questioning me as leaning back into the wooden chair. "One of maids recommended it to me actually, so far I like it. It drags me into the book, making it difficult for me to stop reading. It hadn't been for you i would have gotten further" Jokingly speaking.

A heartfelt laugh came from him, it was short but at the same time sweet to listen to. "I'm sure you'll be able to read it just fine later this evening after I've left you alone. Just my duties your highness" Tauntingly speaking as he winked at me, a grin smakked on his lips. "I am very thankful for that time." Coming back with a what I think is a comeback, only Seeing as it made him laugh again. His eyes squinted and his dimples became even more visible. In this very moment it felt as time almost slowed, he was natrually apealing for my eyes to look at.

Snapping out as fast as I started "Well, it has been a nice talk but I should get going. My father would get worried if I would go to him." I told him, standing up from my chair before pushing it into the table again. Moving some hair/braids/hijab from my face, it moved forwards a bit and annoyed me greatly. A small sulk bade it's way to his lips "Really? You will be missed Princess." He spoke almost with a hint of admiration lacing in his tone fall, it squeezed my heart a little. He stood up, taller than me.

Looking down at me from his hight, grabbing my hand as he placed a small kiss on my knuckles, his warm breath fanned my skin leaving goosebumps up my spine. "Until later, your highness." Looking back at me with a smirk. My face became warm from the affection he showed, trying to push it down but it was difficult as my heart was about to burst out of my chest. "Until later, Kai"

We're the last words we exchange before I left the library to continue my Princess responsibilities, my heart was aching as I walked, softly touching the spot he had kissed on my hand feeling my face warming up again. Little did I know if I had turned around again a faint red would be visible on his face as well companyed with a genuine smile. "Until later, (Name)"

#ninjago #kai smith x reader #lego ninjago #ninjago x reader #kai smith

[juneviews]

Hi axelle! 😸 I've seen almost all bls but I haven't watched any gmmtv het show. which one would you recommend to a newbie? I prefer something light and funny. my favorite actors are Off, Gawin and Neo

hi! I'm glad you're gonnna give non bl thai dramas a chance, and as for your fave actors... TASTE 😌 here's my fave non bl gmmtv shows from best to still good but not the best:

the gifted: simply an amazing & super unique show with very little flaws & one of the best open-endings ever. haven't been able to bring myself to watch the sequel so watch that at your own discretion.

midnight motel: my favorite show of the year so far, fun & quirky, super tight execution, great plot twists, iconic characters & simply one of the most underrated shows ever. contains off & neo so you'll love it 100%!

ps: I hate you: the best female-led show I've ever seen. there's messiness & drama and the characters are all super flawed but you still root for them! the performances are also incredible & this show is truly one of my all time faves!

angel beside me: the first more classic romcom of the list, but despite being kind of a silly premise with an angel falling on earth, it actually tackles some really deep issues like depression & poverty??? and the chemistry & bond between the characters was crazy good. I definitely recommend!

happy birthday: this show will make you cry for 13 eps straight but you'll love it. it has some of the best performances ever & is just the kind of show that hits you right in the chest with feels & beauty. absolutely one of my most beloved thai dramas.

a gift to the people you hate: such an underrated show but absolutely iconic! if you like messiness & plot twists, you'll love this one! it's just unhinged & has a really cool world-building!!!

girl next room: richy rich: since your 3 faves are off, neo & gawin I really recommend you watch this! richy rich is off's most popular straight series bc he's simply perfect in this role (and biconic!!!), and gawin is in the motorbike baby story as mook's second lead & he???? absolutely ate, he's so dreamy in that! neo is in every story & absolutely hilarious (especially in the scenes with off, you cannot miss girl next room!

love at first hate: classic romcom but the chemistry is some of the best & the male lead??? IS DADDY MCDREAMY!!! a really enjoyable series!

46 days: another series with the offmild pairing from girl next room, and this show is crazy but has such fun characters, great chemistry & even the villain is my fave??? the whole cast is the best & it's the only show by this director that is truly genuinely so good!

mint to be: another romcom with mook bc she's the romcom queen lol, this one is short & sweet, the chemistry is excellent & the cast is really fun. there's none of your faves in it BUT one of the characters is obsessed with off who's an idol in that show & she has pillows with his face on it and it's ICONIC!!!

who are you: one of the most acclaimed gmmtv shows, notably for its actresses namtan & jan who acted their ass off in it! it's a really well done show with insanely good acting, but the reason it's not higher on this list is that it's a bit forgettable? it was in my top 10 fave shows from 2021 though.

my dear loser: monster romance: another romcom with mook lol no one is surprised, this one actually really surprised me bc it was the first time I saw lee outside of his usual perfect role. look, I love the man but most of his roles are kinda... boring? and here he ate. the whole universe of the show is super different from usual & the love story is very cute, and honestly it immediately became one of my fave straight thai romances!

baker boys: another show where lee plays a really good role! this one contains queer characters but is not a bl at all. I LOVED the found family trope of it, and literally cried when it ended bc I got really attached to the characters & me crying when a show ends is a huge indicator that I loved it. sadly this show is pretty tainted now bc my fave character was played by foei who's famously an anti-lgbtq+ bitch so yeah... but if you can stomach his bigot face I'd say give it a try, pluem plays one of the cutest characters in existence!

(also just realized I completely missed the light & funny prompt lmao. the most light & funny shows in this list are: girl next room, love at first hate, 46 days & mint to be!)

xxx

#answers #gmmtv #the gifted #midnight motel #ps: I hate you #angel beside me #happy birthday #a gift to the people you hate #girl next room: richy rich #love at first hate #46 days #mint to be #who are you #my dear loser: monster romance #baker boys #didn't expect the list to be this long but gmmtv non bl shows are actually more often better than the bl ones LMAO

[prettycraft5]

Everything I knit in 2023

This would the final 2023 video on my would-be knitting podcast, but I do not have a knitting podcast so enjoy it on here instead.

I'll go in chronological order since every item is different (there is 1 hat, 1 garment, etc) except for the socks, as I'm delighted to say I knit 4 pairs of!

Keep in my that this is my 3rd year knitting.

Btw, the cost is for the number of skeins I've bought and opened for this project. If I only used half a skein, it will be calculated like a full skein price wise.

Buffalo Rose Beanie by KC Knitting Co

Project on Ravelry. My first stranded colorwork & my first proper hat! I learned a ton of techniques with this, like colorwork and how to construct a basic hat and a new cast on. I did so many swatches before starting this project. I love the rose design but I think my choice of yarn made it a bit squished?

It's slightly too tight and quite too short. The tightness is my own fault (I should have probably used 4 mm needles instead of 3.5 mm), but other people on Ravelry have said that their hat ended up being too short, so I think this might be a problem of the pattern itself. I had to open the top and knit another round of squares and it still doesn't cover my ears (the photo is from before I did this surgery).

Yarn: Mondial Merinos Extra, Mondial Merino Baby

COST: around 15€

USAGE: Not much because of fit issues.

FUTURE: I might knit it again with 4 mm needles & longer but I don't know if it's worth the hassle anyway.

Avo-can-do by handmade by SMINÉ

Project on Ravelry. Used it as a power bank pouch. It served me well over the last year but I've realized that this design with strings is not the best. It doesn't close completely and I'm always scared I'll be losing a phone cable. I remember I didn't do the eyelets for the strings properly either, I should have watched a tutorial.

Yarn: Mondial Merinos Extra

COST: Nothing, from stash.

USAGE: It's been in use for almost 1 year

FUTURE: I'll knit a new version with a different pattern and cotton yarn in 2024.

Cheval qui tien debout | Self-supporting Horse by Kathleen PETTIER

Project on Ravelry. A gift for my sweet little cousin. I was very impressed that I was actually able to pull it off. I used LadyTemeraire notes for this pattern and to her I give my heartfelt thanks. Link on the Ravelry page.

I only have two regrets: I think the back legs are a bit wonky (but nobody is going to notice except for me) and I should have taken the time to make the tail fuller. By that point I was pretty fed up with the project, tho.

Yarn: random yarn I had in stash. I unraveled a scarf and a hat to get the little bits for the rainbow mane, actually.

COST: Nothing, from stash.

USAGE: Dunno. Gift.

FUTURE: Making stuffies is fun and I'd really enjoy making another one for another child.

Nalu Mitts by Leila Raven

Project on Ravelry. A gift. It's a fun project that I would recommend to someone looking for some easy mittens and/or cables. It was fairly quicky to knit up. I did mess up the cables positioning a bit (they are too close to the thumb on one mitten) but oh well. Hopefully my friend won't notice, haha.

Yarn: Mondial Merinos Extra

COST: Nothing, from stash.

USAGE: It was a gift so who knows

FUTURE: I'l probably knit some mittens for myself sooner or later, but not using this pattern because I want fingers.

Step by Step Sweater by Florence Miller

Project on Ravelry. I feel like everyone and their grandmother knit one of these this year. It was an easy pattern, even with the 2 "more difficult" modifications (folded collar and short row shaping). Certainly a good foray into garment-making but it did take me some 5 months to complete it!

I'm proud that after realizing I had chosen the wrong size, I frogged, did the math & casted on the correct size rather than keep going. At the time it made me very cranky but it was necessary.

And now, for the bad. I, once again, used 3.5 mm needles instead of 4 mm. The fabric is way too dense and the yarn (Mondial Merino Plus) is scratchy so I have to wear a long-sleeved t-shirt underneath

I wanted the collar to sit closer to the neck. I don't know if this wasn't the right pattern for that or if it's something I did wrong? But I see lots of sweaters online with this same problem.

The sleeves are too short. It's my fault as I ran out of black yarn so I had to improvise and do some sweater surgery to lengthen the other colours (as I didn't want to spend any more money on this) but they still ended up too short.

Lastly, it gave me clicker thumb and I had to take a month long break from knitting in order to recover so, yeah. Not a really fun knit.

Yarn: Mondial Merino Plus

COST: around 40€, I think

USAGE: only a couple of times but one of the sleeves has kind of started to unravel already in the sweater surgery bit. The yarn is quite scratchy so I have to wear a long-sleeved t-shirt with it.

FUTURE: I think it's fine as it is.

Headband with a twist by Mirella Moments

Project on Ravelry. I wanted a quick way to knit a hat and this seemed like a good choice. It came out pretty well: it fits perfectly and the twist makes it look classy and complicated but was actually so easy to knit. But unfortunately, it's not warm enough for the winter here. I will have to knit an actual hat after all!

Yarn: Mondial Merinos Extra

COST: nothing, yarn from stash.

USAGE: I wore it for a couple of weeks and I immediately got a colt. Sigh. Also, if I wear it for more than 15 min the yarn will start to feel scratchy on my forehead.

FUTURE: Will probably gift it to someone.

The socks

In chronological order, from the top left:

Vanilla Sock with Gusset & Choice of Heel by Jo Torr. My third attempt at sock-making. Yarn: Mondial Kim (6€).

Stolen Bike Socks by Monica S. My pride and joy. Photo taken before I bought sock blockers but really, they are excellent. Yarn: Mondial Kim (from stash).

Simple DK Shortie Socks by Woolfield. A gift that I had to make quickly. The gusset decreases go in the wrong direction but that's ok it became a design feature. Yarn: Schachenmayr Regia (8€).

Togetherness Socks by Little Home Designs. Wonderful stupendous, to die for. My second foray into cables I did have to make the toes a little longer but whatever. Yarn: West Yorkshire Spinners Signature 4 Ply (£8.95).

Some conclusions

This year I knit 9 objects: 1 garment, 6 accessories, a random home object and 1 plushie. It's a lot more than I thought!

I think the reason why I felt that I didn't knit much this year was that I didn't focus on what I'm most interested in: sweaters and socks. I'm a product knitter. I knit because I need something. All of these things were useful, but one can never have too many socks and my sweater drawer is pretty miserable.

My 2024 knitting resolution: knit 2 sweaters + finish my Deborah cardigan before summer. Then another sweater in autumn. All the while, I'll be knitting as many socks as possible (not vanilla). I also need to knit a hat and a new power bank pouch, but those two are less urgent. I already have a ton of sock yarn (ok not quite but) and will purchase the other yarn after finishing the previous project.

Also, 3 of my projects were gifts. It's nice to knit gifts, but it takes a bunch of time and my wardrobe stays empty. At the end of the day, I'd rather knit for myself and tick something off my "want" list. No, I don't think that makes me selfish.

2024 resolution n2: No gift knitting at all.

Lastly, I hadn't realized that this year I knit almost entirely with Mondial yarn. Mostly because that's what my LYS carries and because I had it in stash from last year. In retrospect, I really don't like it. I find it scratchy, even the merino. But I do still have a fair bit left so I need to find ways to use it up. Perhaps the Mondial Merinos Extra would make decent socks?

New Year's Resolution part 3: Never buy Mondial yarn again.

Thanks for coming to my written knitting podcast. Here is to another year of crafting!

#knitting #knitblr #everything i knit #everything i knit in 2023 #everything i made #everything i made in 2023

[daisynik7]

i swear every time i write to you and i try to remind myself to not make it too long, i'm not trying to write a disquisition professing my love to you, unless... 🫣 but lol i’m trying (no i’m not). anyways returning back to our regularly scheduled program, hi my sweet daisy, i predict only 23 revised paragraphs today, but i’m feeling a little silly tonight, so maybe 24. 

i hope you had a lovely weekend and got lots of rest, by now i’m also hoping you’re completely over covid and feeling fully better. but still being gentle and affectionate to yourself + body because ✨it deserves it✨ fact: i watched a reel of a neurosurgeon saying that deep sleep is basically our bodies way of waste management and cleansing in the brain, so i hope you’re able to have deep, restful sleep and naps that make you wake up and question what year it is 🫶🏼

side note… YOU WROTE STRAWBERRY SOJU, the horrific shriek i let out when i found out you wrote that, my sincerest apologies to my neighbors 🫠 i remember reading the first part of it probably around the time when you first posted it and then i lost it somehow??? and i didn’t even manage to have liked it so it wasn’t saved, but that itch in the back of my brain has been scratched, it was so good!!!! and eren!!! i’ve also added give you blue to my list, looking forward to that 🫶🏼

lastly, if you don’t mind me picking your brain for a moment (or direct me to a post if you’ve already answered!) what got you into writing? i don’t say this enough (or at all :/) but i absolutely love you’re writing, you probably knew that already, but also your writing style(?). it's so well done, but also simple. i applaud you my beautiful writer!!!! and all writers because it’s something i’ve been trying and my brain is just constantly *busy phone signal* so here’s me giving you lots hugs and smooches to that beautiful, sexy, imaginative brain of yours to evade responsibilities for a bit🥰  

anyways i’ve added all the aot characters back on my list of ✨fictional men + women that i’m ugly sobbing over✨ so i’m going to go do that. i hope you have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening wherever you are, whenever you read this, and enter this upcoming week with fresh ideas, good food, and kind people <3 

okay but every time you write me, I need to resist the urge to propose to you on the spot because omg I am so smitten by you?!? I literally get butterflies every time you send me these amazing, heartfelt messages!! 😭😭😭

I had a great weekend actually! I am completely covid free now and finally got out of my house to spend time with important people in my life :) and I definitely caught up with proper sleep this weekend!

ahhhh, thank you for reading strawberry soju! I am super proud of that fic so I'm so happy you liked it! I saw you post somewhere that you like kbbq, so I hope you enjoyed the little references to that hehe

oh I LOVE having my brain picked! Long story short, I liked writing from a young age and have always had a personality where I would become easily obsessed with certain interests. When I was heavily fixated on the Harry Potter franchise, I would read a lot of fan fiction about it, and eventually, I ended up writing my own (I never finished it lol). I only recently got into anime and quickly became obsessed with it, so my imagination was running wild with fantasies and scenarios. I got back into reading fan fiction and eventually decided that I should put my imagination into something tangible that I could look back on for myself. When I found out that people were actually reading what I wrote and liked it, it encouraged me more to continue! It's been a fun hobby that I've adopted into my regular life. :)

I highly recommend just going for it! For me, it's been therapeutic in a way. It's a nice, temporary escape from my regular life. There's so much that I can't control in reality, but in the stories I create, I can do whatever I want. It's one of the few things in life that I CAN control, which gives me an odd sense of peace. I can already tell that you have such a beautiful way with words, so if you ever decide to truly go for it, just know that you have me to support you completely. 💗

I am still reeling from the aot finale (I just watched it last night). I can't believe it's over!! I will be coping by reading fics hehe.

Have the loveliest morning/afternoon/evening wherever you are! I hope this week brings you lots of joy, laughter, comfort, and whatever else you need to bring you peace. love you thea! ♥️

#my lovely thea #lovely moots #MY SOULMATE

[prongsmydeer]

Hey! I really love your blog, and I'm always looking for new stuff, so do you have any good blogs you'd recommend? Thanks!

Full disclosure: I follow very few people (some of whom are inactive, or like specific interest blogs like Narut/o or Canadian politics). So recommendations aren’t really my strong suit. That being said, I can list a number of people whose content I’m enjoying rn. 

Art/comic creators:

@fleamontpotter has the most incredibly correct Harry Potter opinions, hilarious comics, and generally A+ content of anyone. If you aren’t already following her, you should be 

@rosielleny I haven’t actually been following for super long but she has some of the most gorgeous art I’ve ever seen, Harry Potter or otherwise

@blvnk-art has fantastic HP art (mostly Hinny, but the Marauders and next gen get their love too) with a really cool distinctive style

Other bloggery:

@lizardcookie is my blog crush. All her posts are things I would reblog if I haven’t already. Plus she is an incredibly talented writer, so there’s that

@padfootdidit​ is on top of the HP content game as well, so I’d recommend checking her out 

@prongsno always has some fun HP ideas and she’s an all around lovely gal so I recommend her blog if only for her presence in your life

I could go on all day but I’ll leave it here for now. Tried to keep it to people who are posting majority HP at the moment, but of course I have scores of things to say about some of my other follows/mutuals and their amazing blogs 

#this is the first time i've actually been able to give short and sweet recommendations #my self control is improving #nonymous #asks for ts

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

How are you able to write 8+ word chapters? I've been trying to write longer chapters, but I can't seem to get a good handle on it. Got any tips?

Honestly, anon? Don’t do this to yourself. You don’t actually want to be writing 8k+ chapters (assuming that’s what you meant and this was a typo). It happens to me because I can’t get my characters to shut up and have a lot to say that I need a lot of text for, but honestly, I don’t recommend it. I love my story, but I miss the times when I was able to reasonably update it once a week. Those huge chapters are immense sources of stress and work for both me and whoever gets stuck beta reading it.

What can I recommend for writing longer chapters in general? It really depends on what your writing style is like, overall. Some people love writing dialogue. Some prefer thoughts and descriptions of actions and emotions. Some love making lush descriptions of the environment. (I find dialogue the easiest to write, myself.) Without knowing what your writing style is like, anon, it’s hard for me to tell which of these areas you could expand on. It’s not good advice to tell you to describe motions more when you could actually be describing in great detail and struggle in entirely different areas, so I can’t really give you great advice here.

If you’d like to, feel free to DM me an example of your work so I can take a look and give you proper advice :)

Also, general important thing to note when it comes to writing: longer doesn’t always mean better.

One of the best examples of this is actually a story series I read in a totally different fandom about… two years or so ago? It started out as a story with 30 chapters of reasonable length, but in the end, it had five huge parts, and both chapters and chapter numbers got higher with each installment. The fourth book had like 100 chapters that were each around 10k words in length. The fifth had over 200 chapters that were each over 20k. I gave up somewhere at… I believe it was about 30 chapters into the fourth installment, because aside from some major red flags and questionable writing choices the plot was just… really bad? I dropped the story because at I believe it was the eight kidnapping, the whole thing got kinda tiring. Extremely long stories can be tiring to read, as can long chapters, and as you can see here, you’re at risk of them getting repetitive.

Never stretch out a story/chapter if there’s no story you actually want to tell. Don’t put more into a chapter just because you think it should be longer. If you force a certain chapter length instead of ending the chapter naturally/stretching it out because you have something to say, chances are it will not end up being very good. Readers usually realize when things are just there for the sake of existing—even if it’s often just on a subconscious level. If you hand them a chapter with a bunch of filler sentences, it will get tiring to read, and feel like it goes on endlessly.

Sometimes short chapters are genuinely better! I’m a person that never shuts up, but depending on the writing style can work really, really well. Some of my favorite fics actually fall under this category!

TwoPercentMalk for example is hands down one of my favorite fandom authors. He has a bunch of shorter chapters, but they always tear me up emotionally, have some of the greatest characterizations I’ve ever read and make me laugh a ton.

Richynepp’s Blight twins fic is probably one of my favorites overall and the fic that first sold me on Vinira and Jerbric ships. The chapters are relatively short, but they have unique, interesting interactions and really great characterization.

Brave in Bronze has three chapters and is about 10k words total. It’s one of my favorite owl house fics to date because of the sweet scenes, heartfelt moments and great humor.

Heck, Mama's Gonna Wait Up Until You Get In is only about 700 words, and that oneshot tore me up emotionally!

So, like I said, it’s not always length that makes a story better. The important thing is the content, and getting that across in the most impactful way—not necessarily the most drawn-out way.

#writing #fic recs #asks #Anon #my works #my writing #writing advice #chapter length #toh #the owl house #owl house #owl house fanfiction #anon

[vale-studies-ir]

Hello lovely people!

It seems that life made me take a leave of absence from tumblr. Thanks to all of you who have continued to interact with my page! I'm sorry if I've missed any messages or questions in the time that I've been away. I'm back now and I'll continue to share my journey with you all...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In order to be able to keep moving forward, I think it's important to accept the past and move on. Accept any of the difficulties that happened, and see them as moments you've gone through that have made you stronger. My way of accepting and turning over a new page will be through this post.

I haven't shared too much information about my studies and how they've been going. My studyblr was very new, and I was using it more as a means for motivation by seeing all the wonderful things people in the community were doing. Little by little, I started to make posts of my own.

So let me formally introduce myself and share my ongoing journey...

My name is Valentina, I go by Vale for short. I jumped from graduating from my BA in International Relations and Political Science in the Spring of 2018 to starting my PhD studies in International Relations the Fall semester of that same year. No break, very smart... I know. That's only just the beginning. I'm not sure how it works abroad, but here doctoral students usually go through most of their studies being funded by a graduate assistantship. This pays tuition and provides a stipend through working as a TA (graduate teaching assistant). Of course they vary across universities and departments. When I was applying to the PhD program, one of my professors advised me not to accept if I was not given funding. There are only a limited number of spots that are given to incoming students each year that will be accepted as a TA.

In March of 2018 I received notification that I was accepted into the PhD program in International Relations at my university, however, the department could not guarantee funding for me. This put me at a loss, and I spend months wondering where this was going and what I would do. Because I'm an immigrant in the US, though I've been living here practically my whole life, I didn't have too many options. My mobility is constrained.. my access to scholarships is constrained (even though I may qualify for them in terms of academics and merit, migration status trumps over all of it). I was lost, to say the least. My family can't afford to have paid for this program or a Master's program out of pocket, and I am not able to take out student loans even if I wanted to.

Regardless of this all, I still attended the incoming graduate student orientation; which surprised the outgoing graduate program director. She did not think I would show up, considering the whole funding predicament. She and the new GPD told me that they would try to find something for me. On the first day of class, I showed up, still not knowing what would become of this situation. Not knowing if I would actually get to start the semester or not. We are usually given a week to pay tuition - because of status, I am considered an international student so my tuition came out to nearly $10,000 for three courses. That day, out of nowhere, I was told that the dean of our school (School of International and Public Affairs) was looking for a graduate assistant for new projects that he wanted to work on. In the span of a few hours, I ended up interviewing with him, being told that they would let me know because there was another student they were considering, and later being called and told that I got the position. I was ecstatic. I called my parents in tears. This was actually happening; I was actually going to be able to start my PhD.

It all happened so fast. It all seemed so exciting. The dean seemed very enthusiastic and pleased that I would be working with him. Things eventually took a turn for the worst...

Transitioning into graduate school itself is extremely difficult. Many graduate students find themselves experiencing heightened stress and strain on their mental health. I did not give myself the space to transition into graduate school without the added stress of being a doctoral student, without the added expectations. On top of that, the dean had not had a graduate assistant before. This was new for him too. The expectations of me were blurred and my contract would only last for a year to be considered for possible renewal (the typical TA contract in my original department lasts 4 years), this led to disaster. I needed this position to continue to fund my studies, so I needed to make sure that I was on top of my work expectations. Because these expectations were unclear, the dean's secretary took advantage. It seems they were short staffed, and I was given administrative tasks that did not belong to me. I was made to come in to the office for strictly 20 hours a week. (Our contract states that we work up to 20 hours a week). If I was ever sick and missed a day, that would be added onto the hours for the next week. So if I missed a day where I was supposed to be in the office for 5 hours, I'd have to be there for 25 hours the following week. A breach in the contract, I know - but who was I, a lowly student, against the dean? This office (a shared space) was not a place where a person could focus on studying. There were students coming in and out, loud conversations occurring, and having to see if the actual student employee in charge of taking phone calls was at their desk - if not, I would have to man the phone. While I was doing administrative tasks for the dean's secretary, the dean was having me create themed presentations and CO-LECTURE with him. Me, a person who had been an undergraduate student only months earlier. I had to create these presentations from scratch and know all of the material. All of my focus had to be on this. My performance in my own classes and mental health declined quickly. I could not focus, I could not get my reading assignments done, I felt unprepared. I felt like a failure.

After a year, I realized that it was not worth to have my tuition paid for if I could not focus on my classes and was set up for failure. It took a lot, but ultimately I turned down the contract renewal. Here comes the fun part. My GPA dropped tremendously. I graduated Magna Cume Laude just a year before. I developed depression and didn't realize it; to the point where a friend practically made me go to counseling. The office manager at my actual department knew what I was going through. I had shared a lot of my experience with her. She advocated for me. Because of this, I was told that there was a student who had been awarded an assistantship for the incoming Fall 2019 semester, but had decided not to take it. The contract was going to be made for me instead, for not 4 but for 5 years since I had only come in with a BA degree. When they ran it through the associate dean's office... it was denied. My GPA was lower than the threshold. A LOT lower. I was told by the GPD - the same woman who had just started her position that said she would help me, the woman that had gone on maternity leave during that whole year after she started meaning she was not aware of the situation - that I should really take my studies more seriously. She received a very long email from me and apologized afterwards, to say the least. Nothing could be done.

I had no funding, only savings and ended up working Full Time in Fall of 2019 in order to try to pay for 1 course, that costed me a little over $3,000. Somehow, even though I strongly considered it, I managed not to drop out. By this time, the majority of the courses I had taken before had INs - incomplete grades. Two of them had automatically turned into Fs. Things were not okay.

I got a bit of a mental break during that Fall semester. I worked in a friendly environment. The office manager pulled some strings and let me work as an office assistant there... so I was still at my department, but working as staff. It was a little awkward. I'm eternally grateful to her, she became a close friend. And because of her, someone at another department got word that there was a graduate student who needed funding.

This office manager was good friends with a recently graduated phd student from our department who is now working for a different center in the university. Because she was part of my department, many of my current colleagues know her, and are good friends with her. We spoke, I rushed to get my GPA up to the 3.0 threshold and with the help of my professor's I was able to be awarded an assistantship with that center. I started in December of 2019.

Again, I was ecstatic. Things were looking up. When I went in for the first time, I immediately felt a huge difference. It was a smaller, more homey place; and a lovely environment to be in. The people there were sweet and caring. I've gotten along with the few professors I've had the chance of meeting and working with.

Where did it start going downhill? The professor that recommended me (graduate from my home department) continuously requested that I work with her. Her reason being that I got along better with her (something that I was not aware of). Because she considered herself as my friend, professional lines were horribly blurred. I found myself doing additional work for her as a "favor for a friend." She then started having us meet multiple times a week for hours - distracting from the time I needed to actually get work done. This center does not cap classes - I've had to grade for up to 400 students in one semester. The meetings she scheduled were incredibly unproductive, and I found myself having to take extra time to get the grading done. Again, my own studies were effected. The past academic year went on like this. I ended up assisting in creating a new course and new assignments from scratch.

Later I noticed that something was wrong. I was doing way more work than stipulated by my contract. She was giving me access to her courses that I was not assigned to grade for. Instead of assisting for one course in the semester (the one with the highest enrollment), I was assisting for three. This was constantly under the guise of 'friendship'. How was I supposed to reject my 'friend'? When I tried to draw professional boundaries, I was met with resistance.

My mental health declined again in the fall and I missed a few of her scheduled meetings (meetings which she said were NOT mandatory). Because of this, she decided to throw me under the bus with the director and making it seem as if I was not actually working - when I was addressing students' needs and getting grades in. This worsened in the Spring. With the help of my counselor I finally got the courage to communicate with her. Albeit through text, because she's the type of person that does not allow you to get a word in during conversation.

"On that note, there’s something I’ve wanted to talk about. I’ve been struggling with concentration and fatigue. This is something that I’ve been working on with my doctor to try to find solutions. I’ve noticed that being in Zoom meetings in general where there’s casual conversation makes it exceptionally difficult for me to focus on what I’m trying to get done. This has been problematic in the work zoom meetings. You probably have noticed I seem really quiet, that is because I’m trying my hardest to focus.

I need to be able to focus during the time I’m assigned to work as a GA. Otherwise, I must take more time to complete tasks that normally wouldn’t take up that long or just wait until the weekends to finish them. That is conflicting as I have set that time to work on class assignments and my own projects. So in the end I end up falling behind and not working well because my productivity levels are being affected."

She seemed to understand me and be supportive. Then I noticed coldness, and condescending passive aggressive texts from her part.

I realized that I could not do this any longer. I could not allow myself to continuously be taken advantage of. Both of the people I've worked for were aware of my vulnerable situation due to migration status. They both knew that it was not easy for me to pay for my studies through any other means. My studies depended on these people, and if they 'liked' me. They abused and absorbed my time to the extent that my studies suffered tremendously.

But I finally stood up for myself. I spoke with the director and she affirmed that my concerns were valid. Time and time again she assured me that my studies should always come first. She supported me. I will no longer be assigned to work with this person.

I finally feel heard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been 3 years since I started my program. A lot has happened in this time. I have a lot of catching up to do this summer if I want to stay on track and take my comprehensive exams by the end of the year. But someone finally heard me, acknowledged the wrongdoings and helped me.

Don't let people walk over you and take advantage of you. I'm learning this the hard way.

Speak your truth.

#my story #my phd story #experiences #struggles #growth #don't give up #don't silence yourself #share your story #speak your truth #long post #studyblr #phdblr #phd studyblr #phd student #gradblr #grad student #stand up for yourself #keep moving forward

[artsyxloner]

Not just a Monster

Warning: drinking

19: Another Infected

Ji-Soo laid on the recovery table fast asleep. She was still kinda pale but that will soon go away once she starts healing. The group managed to find antibiotics if she got an infection.

I would have given her some of my stuff but it burned up in the car explosion. I've been in here for a while, making sure nothing went wrong. Watching to see if her side was turning red, or started to swell.

It could get infected easily and-spread throughout her body if not watched or treated carefully. Soon Jae-Heon came in, I smiled. He was pretty badass for a man that worships God and is also a great swordsman.

( please note that this is not meant to offend anybody, my religion is Christianity )

He took a seat, laying down some white candles he brought with him. checking over Ji-Soo. I could tell something was going on between them but neither announced it yet. I guess in a world like this it was hard to.

" What are the candles for?" I questioned but waited as he lit them with a lighter. Clasping his hands together he bowed his head and began to Pray. Watching him, I haven't prayed in a long time.

I use to think what was the point, thinking it wouldn't do any good since I did a terrible sin. But seeing how Jae-Heon is still keeping his faith even after killing monsters it was the same difference.

Killing is killing.

If I ask for forgiveness will it help? will I finally stop feeling guilty and move on? Will I be able to forgive myself? I wish I knew what to do I was uncertain. But I closed my eyes and bowed my head.

Dear lord

I know I shouldn't be asking for your forgiveness... but please lift me of the sin I committed and if possible I could somehow forgive myself someday and in hopes, they can too. let my family Rest In Peace.

I finished reopening my eyes, I jumped a little realizing Jae-Heon was watching me. " God will forgive you Soo-Nico for whatever you've done." He reassured me, I felt my heart was weighing heavy.

I had to ask since he's was the only one that I could talk about religion. " how are you so sure?" Was he going to forgive me? For something as terrible as that? Jae-Heon had a knowing look on his face. " Because he's a merciful God,"

With that answer, I nodded, " I don't mean to pry but what were you praying about." I wanted to ask, I probably seem nosy. I saw him glance at Ji-Soo," for someone to live a long, healthy, happy life."

Now it was my turn to give some words of encouragement. " They will," it was short and simple but effective. Jae-Heon patted my shoulder. " you're a good kid, I'll watch over her. you should go eat something to build up your strength,"

he informed, me I had to laugh, now that he mentioned it I was pretty hungry. Rubbing my stomach I got up, bowing. Leaving the room, heading to go get something to eat.

His words somehow made me feel better. They were having dinner in the day-care-center walking in I had grabbed my plate sitting down beside Hye-in. I guess it was better to eat with people than being alone.

She was happily eating, away I noticed she had a white face mask on. She looked like a puffy marshmallow, it seems like they have all washed up. I needed a wash. Taking my spoon, I scooped some rice and took a bite.

" Ms. Cha, " Hye-In spoke up getting the woman's Attention, She had looked up. " I thought that you were tan but you're just really dirty." Hye-In laughed, I raised an eyebrow.

" Thanks.." Ms. Cha stared at her I couldn't believe she just said that. " I'm saying you look good now." what she didn't look better before?

" I got these masks in the mail. Want one?" Hye-in offered to pulling up her shirt, revealing a couple of packs of face masks. Well, that's one way to hide them.

" No, thanks. I know That I look pretty without it." This earned all kinds of laughs around the room. " wait, Seung-Wan needs it." Byeong-ll point making  Seung-Wan clap back defensively.

I have I admit it was pretty funny, as we chatted, Sun-Young walked up to our table she seemed nervous. I wondered what about it? " I should go outside." Before I could take another bite I stopped looking up at her. What for?

" I think I'm starting to have symptoms." that's when all the attention turned towards her. It was quiet, " I should've told you sooner." Sun-Young had a long face as if she was disappointed for not telling. " I guess I didn't want to believe it. I'm sorry."

No one can blame you it's scary finding out your showing symptoms it's like your life just has been ripped away. It's hard to accept. " I just don't want to put everyone in danger. So I should go before it's too late—"

Ms. Cha, interrupted Sun-Young, " still you shouldn't go outside." She dismissed. " she right. You're still human, you'll die if you go outside." Hye-In agreed. But Jay-Hwan thought otherwise.

" –We can't let her stay here?" I rolled my eyes, " why don't you shut up!" I fussed that's when Eun-Hyuk Entered the room. " why don't we all hold a vote?" Byeong-ll suggested a worried look was plastered on his face.

Then he all turned to us, " just vote how you feel, because this is like... taking part in a murder." I remembered those words, the day Eun-Hyuk guilt trip, everybody, to so they could vote for Hyun-Su to stay for selfish reasons.

But that was over and done with now, " I vote she gets to stay in the arcade." He raised his hand, I did also Even Seung-wan, " Me, too. Maybe she'll be able to hold out as Hyun-Su did?"

After that everyone raised their hands. I was Surprised when Eun-Hyuk's hand was raised, he has changed, well a lot of them have. It looked like Sun-Young was about to cry.

Soon everyone said their goodbyes, I felt bad she was going to be locked up. But it's what she wanted to keep everyone safe it's better than being outside.

At least they won't discriminate against her as they did to Hyun-Su and now be there for her. Things were changing for better than worse. Hopefully, it stayed that way.

After finishing my food, everybody was in a gloomy mood. They moved around sitting in different seats. " I could definitely use a drink on a day like this," Byeong-ll grumbled moving his pointer fingers around a small candle that was lit.

" There you go again." 

I didn't mine alcohol, but it sounds good right about now. Jay-Hwan told putting in one earbud," well, do you think Sun-Young will hold out like Hyun-Su?" Seung-Wan rethought his words he said earlier.

" I hope so. I thought it was just her husband, but her whole life is awful."  Hue-in announced, yeah I remember Suk-Hyun.

" lady you're face is Awful." Eun-Yoo sneered, I had to smirk, shaking my head. " well I think Byeong-all it right. We could definitely use a drink today."

Ms. Cha agreed I hadn't noticed she left, she was carrying a glass cylinder it was a beautiful dark red juice with raspberry in it.

Setting it down on the table unwrapping the top taking off the plastic wrap. " What is this Korean wine? Please tell me it is." Byeong-ll pleaded.

Everyone began to turn their heads to see. Gil-Seob sat up smelling the wine, " it's at least four years old." He looked up at Ms. cha and she nodded. He smelled it again as Eun-Yoo and I came over sitting beside each other.

" it could be as good as Medicine." I smiled, taking a glance at Eun-Yoo we were both too young but I already had some wine before but it wasn't that great but I was willing to give it another try.

Eun-Yoo Leander forward smelling it, " Yu-ri left early by the way." She informed him, she then moved pushing the Cylinder to me. " go on," she smiled I did to smelling it. God that smelled so sweet, my mouth watered.

" shall we finish this off before Eun-Hyuk comes?" She suggested, talking about her brother. Gil-Seob stuck his pinky in the jar getting a taste. We all began to laugh.

But stopped seeing Eun-Hyuk, he had a straight face, considering he was the leader he made the choices around here shit. " speak of the devil." Gil-Seob mumbled.

I was for sure he wouldn't let us drink, but to my shock he did. " just don't forget your duties." Eun-Hyuk then left, turning back around we quickly Gil-Seob began pouring the wine into small cups.

He handed them out giving me and Eun-Yoo one. I gladly Excepted it before I could take a sip Eun-Yoo nudged me. " hey, I saw you and Hyun-Su almost kiss." She whispered in my ear. My eyes went wide, feeling my whole body go stiff.

WHAT!?

I took a sip avoiding her stare, wow this was good and sweet, " don't be embarrassed you guys are cute together might as well hook up before you know what happens." She hinted, smirking at me.

I took another sip, gulping it down. Is this girl talk? From an actual friend? I wanted to be together with him and I confessed in way that was out of my comfort zone.

" Thanks... And yeah, what is better than two Infected's getting together in a world where anything and everything could go wrong." I said lowly enough just for her to hear.

She Seconded that. " his lips were this close!" I wined, showing her pinching my thumb and pointer finger together symbolizing how close were to kissing. I could feel my cheeks heat up, was I getting drunk I only took a few sips I must be lightweight.

I leaned my head on her shoulder kinda upset, she brought her hand up patting my head. " don't worry you'll get your chance, and you'll be the one to do it." She added.

I thought it over, " Me? why me?" My eyes glanced up. She huffed, " because Hyun-Su is too nervous, plus you made the first move he still wouldn't have done it if you didn't say anything." Eun-Yoo finished her cup like me.

I think that is enough Wine for today. I sat my cup down, feeling all fuzzy. Thinking about Hyun-Su's lips they were chapped and dry but it didn't matter I kiss them either way.

I then heard Eun-Yoo laugh loudly. Did I say that out loud? " you did!" She confirmed I was embarrassed hiding my face in my hands. Only me.

"All Alright!" Gil-Seob clubbed his hands together, " who's in for a story?" He recommended, " aren't we too old for stories?" Eun-Yoo stated, he only smiled. " not this one." is all he said

Taking a seat where everyone slept. We followed I laid my head on a pillow. " it was a very dark night with no moon. I lay down between the corpses and pretend to be dead, but u were watching them carefully." so this was a scary, story the Irony huh?

" the remnants of the people's army went inside the building, and the allied forces that were after them fired hundreds of shots at the building." He took the weird stick Jay-Hwan was holding and reenacted the gun fire-making Pow sounds.

He was on his knees saying it loudly but he suddenly stopped. " Hey, I know I saw them go into the building with my own two eyes," he said as if he was so sure. " they all went into the building but nobody came out of the building." I was interested now raising.

" and there were no dead bodies found. How baffling that building." He sucked in a breath looking around as if remembering something. It seems like everyone was on the edge of their seats. " Was here." Everyone gasped, raising hearing this.

" then?" Jay-Hwan gulped, " we have no idea what's buried underneath where we are. That's what I mean."

He Motioned towards the ground, " -what? -jeez." Someone asked not to believe this scared, I mentally laughed the only thing scarier than that is me in this room.

They had no idea, well except Eun-Yoo but then there was a loud bang since everyone was tense they all screamed. An unfamiliar man came running into the room wearing a black soldier suit." He came towards us seeing the jar of raspberry's sticking his hands in it eating them.

We all scooted back, Gil-Seob held up the stick ready to attack if needed. But Yi-kyeong strode in. " who are you, someone yelled. " I think he's a runaway soldier." He continued to eat, as the raspberry juice dripped on the table.

He then looked at his stained red hands, he kept mumbling something I think it was run? But from what? " quickly!" He freaked out then started shaking falling to the floor. What the hell?

Yi-kyeong grabbed onto his collar as the boys got up to help her. They dragged him away. " well that was unexpected." Hye-In blurred out. The girls nodded.

Seeing there was no reason to stay anymore, I got up and left before any more surprises popped up. I said my byes to Eun-Yoo, I figured I should search around for Hyun-Su.

A/N

Finally finished with this chapter. And please I'm sorry if an offended anyone talking about god, I don't mean to if you guys worship a different religion. I did it because it fits in with the characters' plot. And I also smell a great friendship coming up.

Thank you guys for the reads, votes, and support!! 🖤

#kdramaedit #sweet home #song kang #cha hyun su #kdrama #netflix kdrama #sweet home netflix #sweethomeedit #kdrama spoilers #webcomic #sweet home webtoon #sweet home series #webtoon #netflix korea #korean #korean show #monsters #monster

[hikari-writes]

❅A Love Letter I Have to My Lovely and Beloved Friends❅

(I just know that 30 july was a national friendship day and today is like 31 july already at where I am but,,, just pretend that this is also for National Friendship Day 🤡🔫)

As you all know, it's been confirmed that I'll be going on a hiatus two days from now that I really don't know how long it will go on. So, with that in mind, I wished to leave this message to all the wonderful friends I've made while I was active here on Tumblr during quarantine.

I've started this writing blog a few months ago, to be precise, on May where life in quarantine was starting to become a norm. In the few months until now, I did my best to start writing and drawing more using all the free times that I have.

I wouldn't have expected this blog to grow so much in such a short time. To me, it was really mind blowing, seeing that there's a lot of other great content creators here on Tumblr. Yet, the 300+ people who stumbled upon my blog still decided to follow me.

I was really happy to have made many contents that I'm actually proud of posting. And I still can't believe there are people out there who love them. Seeing every one of your comments and reblogs and likes really, really, squeezed my heart and I couldn't be more thankful for your support.

And during these fun times, I was able to make friends with many amazing, talented, fantastic and all the good words I could find in the dictionary people on here. You all are a real gift to me and I hold you guys close to my heart.

I still can't believe I was able to befriend you guys though, like, y'all are so amazing and I was just here like squeaking my name to you like a shy mice lmao. =///= Anyways, thank you for all the good and fun times. Thank you for being with me and helping me with lots of things. Just, thank you for everything. (I'm writing this at 1am like it's sad hours yall I'm crying :')))

If you are ever feeling down, do not ever forget that, even if it's only me, I'll support you to the end of the world because you're just so amazing and fantastic. I love you and never let any hate that's thrown at you let you down because they aren't worth your time.

The people I'll be mentioning below are my dear friends or just people that I have been interacting with during the times I was online, little or not, I still consider you guys to be my friends (very self-proclaimed here sorry)and I'm still honoured by that fact.

@your-local-bnha-writer -Bean, you and your posts are always so wholesome and cute and I love them. Keep being amazing, and we may not interact much, but I still appreciate every little convos we had. Also, wish you luck on tpn, that shit hurted :')

@identifybby -Liaaaa, omg im so v v grateful we became friends. You've helped me with a tons of things and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to me. You're just so amazing and thank you for always putting up with me, i love you sm.

@minteasketches -Mintea! You're such an amazing artist and I rlly enjoyed our conversations! You might not see this since you're off socmed but just wanna let u know that thank u for being my friends.

@yandere-of-your-dreams -Heyyy sis,, you're always such a sweet bean to me and showering me w love and i appreciate them, stay amazing and I'm sure you'll become an amazing writer.

@shotobabe -Ren, wifey, ilysm thank u for always being with me. You're such an awesome person and keep on being yourself. You're perfect and talented, don't let others tell you otherwise. AND while I'm gone, don't forget to drink lots of water okay? I won't be able to remind you while I'm on a hiatus, but please always remember to drink water. That'd be the first thing I'll ask you once I'm able to be online. And please try to eat more okay bb? I love u.

@takumipineapplexd -Taku! Amazing writer and amazing editor, yes I'm talking about you. You're amazing and keep on making cursed content and being crackhead, i love them.

@bnhabadass -We might not talk much, but I just want to let you know that you're so amazing and I look up to u v much. Literally had a heart attack when u commented on angel wings lmao.

@tomomoni -Mon, love, soft bean, I LOVE U. You've always been so wholesome and cute to every one of your followers and seeing ur interactions literally heals my heart. Your art is amazing so continue being amazing ilysm thank u for being an amazing advisor and listener, I'm v grateful for that. You have no idea how blessed I am to have you as a friend. Meeting you through turn on your airdrop's fanart was F A T E.

@kamabukokompachiro -First time u asked my permission to read my fanfic, I legit teared up. Thank u sm for asking, I couldn't be happier to know that my fic is worthy to be read over for a yt channel. Keep on being amazing and ily.

@kaminii -Kamiiiii, sweet child, you're always so matured and calm and I really adore and respect that part of you (unlike me im v childish and rash) You're an amazing writer and editor and ur aesthetic? 100/10. Love it. You're so talented despite being so young and I'm just, WOW. Ily and thank u for being friends w me. And please fix your sleeping schedule bb. It's rlly not good for your health, like please? Ily.

@katsucutie -I love you and your writing so v much, and I rlly enjoyed talking to you, discussing about Burn Book was rlly fun. I might not be able to know the ending since im gonna go on a hiatus but I'll be sure to catch up to it once im back. Keep being amazing and awesome.

@isolshi -CHERIE, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING. Don't be so insecure about your writing. They're amazing. And you're also one of the sweetest and cute person I've met here. I always love teasing you cause your reaction is always so funny and cute. Keep being awesome. And please, please, please get enough sleep and drink LOTS of water. I legit would cry if you don't drink more water cher.

@mirakeul -BIANCAAAAA LOVE YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND SWEET LiKE--- please, I love talking to you and thank you so much for always reminding me to eat. Your calligraphy and handwriting are awesome, shshh i don't take criticism. Never stop writing, I love them. And please never forget I love you and you're my best friend okay?

@roxybefab -You've always been the first to ask me to be on my taglist and I'm so v happy because of that. Thank you for everything, and keep on being awesome. You can do this, ily.

@princessofdawn718 -Talking to you about Hamefura has been so fun! I haven't talked w many ppl about isekai so im rlly glad I could talk about them w you. Katarina x nicol ftw! Thanks for talking to me, it was such a pleasure rlly.

@softkodzuken -Maam your writing is A M A Z I N G. I love anon sm and you're rlly so sweet for always replying to every single comment on them. Don't be so insecure about them, they're amazing and i will always stand by that point. Wishing you the best of luck for Undercover!

@lolitsleia -Your art is *chef's kiss* i love them so much, I still can't believe you hadn't had more recognition like why?? Ur oc alex is the cutest thing ever and i love her. Thank you again for drawing Yuki. She looked really beautiful and cute in your drawing.

@samanthaa-leanne -We may not talk much, but when you first followed me back, my heart goes B O O M. You're so amazing and keep being like that. And uh,, good luck with Violet Evergarden if you ever plan to watch it. Prepare a couple of tissue boxes....or dozens.

@miyumtwins -Fellow android users! I first saw you through Bean's post about a tag game and i was like *gasp* another androiders..! I swear that one time i was interacting w you, I didn't actually meant to go off anon,, yes im dumb lmao. Anyways, you're rlly amazing and I'm rlly honoured to be followed by you.

@kawasuno -Your smau? 100/10. Your sense of humour 100/10. They're just so perfect *chef's kiss* I love every one of your updates and they always managed to put a smile on my face, i was like, how did you do that? My sense of humour is nonexistant, teach me your ways sensei. But anyways, you're rlly amazing and awesome. Keep up w that.

@kukusbabe -Tsu, I've never said this, but it's you. It's always been you all along. What i mean is, I've followed you first (i knew u through zara's flopping server yeah!) And when i looked at my dash and saw all your interactions w your moots, despite me haven't legally started haikyuu yet, i decided to follow all of them, soooo if it's not for you, we may not have met each other. Everyone in the kita family, Tsu is the MVP here muah. Also your aesthethic and writing and everything is so kajsjhendnd amazing i LOvE---

@iwaixiumi -King Nami, you're so awesome and amazing,, and I'm really glad to be able to interact w you. All those songs you recommend? Yeah, I'm going to listen and love all of them, thank u so much for the recs. Keep being amazing and to everyone reading this, PLEASE INTERACT WITH KING NAMI MORE SHE DOESN'T BITE---

@shoutodoki -Hello, you're so amazing and talented and im just,,, kekkdjfjdj when you followed me--- and when u figured out i was the anon talking about oboro i was OAKSJEJDDJ please, i was so honoured u know, like ???? Anyways, keep on writing what you love and your art maam? THEY'RE AMAZING LIKE BOTH YOUR ART AND WRITING IS SO KAJSJDJDN pliS im so v honoured to be able to talk to you.

@lisarillia -Please excuse me while I go shout in the corner of how much i LOVE your arts. They're amazing and being able to talk to you was a real pleasure. Keep on doing what you love. They'll be amazing no matter what i swear.

@cutiedrawsbnha -Cutie, honey, you're amazing and your art is so cute! Don't let what haters said get to you. You're going to grow into an amazing artist. If you give in and listen to what they said, you're going to end up like what they said so ignore them honey! I believe in you so keep shipping izuocha, todomomo, and kamijirou and making arts. Lotsa love!

@lilikags -Heeyyyy you sweet cute innocent bean! Don't ever stop writing what you love, you'll grow into a big blog soon enough, before you know it. Just keep making what you love, and as time pass by, I'm sure there will be many people who will find appreciate everything you do. I'm always supporting you.

@baeshijima -SOPHHHHH YOU SWEET CUTE CINNAMON ROLL WAKATOSHI'S WIFE EYE--- You have NO idea how much i love you,, you're so sweet and I honestly don't know what did i do to deserve you. Srsly you're a blessing to me. Thank you for the sweet daily reminder in my inbox, i love each and every one of them. Keep being so cute and wholesome, love you.

@shinsuque -ANAAAAA Thanks again for the Bakugou's memes! I may not be able to do it before i go on a hiatus though *sobbing* Keep being so awesome! I love seeing all your interactions and you're so amazing i honestly don't know why you followed me----

@semiluvr -LYDIA *SOBBING* THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO THE KITA FAMILY. Even though we've known each other in less than a week, it already felt like I had known you guys for so long like whotttt. Keep being an amazing and sweet person ily muah

@dumbass-lev -MOMMY, MUI, ILY THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO SWEET YOU'RE AMAZING,,, u have no idea how happy (and also flustered) I am when i saw you asking you want to adopt me like,,, whot I've never been asked to be adopted online b4 so you asking that was a big surprise to me and just,,, remember that i love you and you're an amazing mommy. Hope i wasn't too much too handle as your child lol and thank u, for asking to invite me to the server. It has been a real pleasure to me to be there.

@pudding-head-kenma -DANIE!! We haven't talked much and I've only known you for a short time but I really love your detailed analysis. They're amazing and you're amazing. Thank you for being so sweet and cute. Ily.

@/🦋 nonoi -🦋 NONOIIII!!! IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY EMOJI ANON! I love you you're so sweet and bb please please please don't forget me id cry,,,

@astereim -Rein!!! I know we just talked and all but you seem to be a reaally cool and amazing person,, we might not be able to interact much since I need to go prepare things b4 i go on my hiatus though, but just wanna let u know that ily!

@tokoyamis-luv -please don't come for my neck i haven't been active on the server Lol but anyways, zara, you're amazing and your simping for Kurapika is always fun to watxh. Also all the lin manuel edits are *chef's kiss* we may not talk much but i was rlly honoured to be able to interact w you, even a little bit.

@engel-hageshii - YOU, MAAM are a literal angel, and your comments on my fics always managed to make me smile so much. I love you, please never stop being such a sweetheart.

@laylahoran -I've always loved and appreciate every comments you make. I'm v happy I was able to create a content that you can love. You and engel has been some of my firsts followers and I'm really blessed to have you two.

@oyasenpai -Diemmy! You're so sweet and cute and seeing your interaction w my moots (kami) was what made me follow you. Don't let what others said bring you down, okay? Just do what you want because there're always many people supporting you for it.

Special message to the kita family server;

Meanwhile while you guys were talking about me there, I was just innocently scrolling through Tumblr, not knowing what kind of fate I'll be receiving 👁👄👁 No wonder I was sneezing so much 🤧🤧🤧

So, I was just scrolling through the pinned messages and I saw tsu said "mui: can we invite hikari? Everyone here: kakskejdjdjdn" and i was just like,,, ??????? I wasn't expecting u guys to have that kind of reaction i--- yall have no idea how much i was grinning while I scroll through those messages. Thank you so much for inviting and accepting me, it's really fun to be with you guys and your crackhead energy 🥰🥰 Thank you to mui for suggesting you had no idea I was really really happy. 😭 Y'all are so amazing and sweet and cute and beautiful kakjdjdd

To all of my dear friends that I've mentioned above, I LOVE YOU LOTS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO MET YOU GUYS. Quarantine time has been stressful for a lot of people, and Tumblr can sometimes (a lot of times) be kinda whack but I was really happy to met you guys during my time here. Our time together may have been short, but i feel like we've known each other for more than a year, no caps. I love you all very very much. Thank you for talking to me and befriending me. Remember to get enough sleep, drink lots of water, stay safe and healthy, eat enough meals and, take care of yourself. I love you guys.

And lastly, to everyone reading this, whether i know you or not, or interacted with you or not, or follow you or not, or you follow me or not, just REMEMBER that you are worth it and I love you. Keep on being awesome, and always remember to smile, laugh and live. Don't forget to always DRINK LOTS OF WATER, GET ENOUGH SLEEP, and EAT ENOUGH MEALS.

Signing off,

Hikari.

#amazing talented people #sweet nice people 💕 #a message #my dear friends

[peantbutter-honeycombs]

Close to the Ground

Title: All In a Name

Word count: 4,204

Characters: Peter Parker, oc

Warnings: fluff? Platonic fic not romantic.

Notes: Sweet damn!!! This came out a lot longer than I intended for it to. Let me tell you. As I was writing I kept thinking of more ideas and the word count kept getting longer. I'll edit this when I have the time if I'm able, so forgive typos. There are so many typos. I'll change this when I've edited the story.

I came up with the idea years ago back when Civil War came out. But now I have time to headcanon and perfect it.

———

The little girl stared at Peter and he in turn stared back the two looked at each other as if they were deer caught in the head lights. That both sat criss cross, across from the other on May's living room sofa. Every time Peter even tried to make a move the little girl would flinch, a cold chill creeping up her spine so Peter tried to remain motionless.

While he appeared cool on the outside, inside his thoughts were spiraling out of control. What do I do!? What do I do!? Where's aunt May? One of my first real "rescues" as Spider-Man and I come home with a kid!? In the grip of silent panic his right foot beat uncontrollably against the cushion. It seemed to be the only acceptable action, as it didn't send the pipsqueak into a tizzy.

He had been doing a routine sweep of neighboring area swing through the cityscape when a scream as good as a a banshee's rent the air. Nobody screamed like that unless they were in fear for their life. It came from a darkened alley, and like a true hero he'd taken off toward it ready to take on whatever threat lied ahead. He shocked to find the alley seemingly empty though after a careful look around just to be safe he had found her. Lonely, buried beneath bags of trash, she laid out.

Peter wasn't sure what he'd been thinking back then, forty minutes ago. Scratch that, he knew damn well. The city streets were no place for child, especially one so young. It was going to be dark soon and thunder had been in the forecast for later that evening. He'd used his best judgement.

He mentally scoffed, best judgment.

Now here he sat just him and what could be more than a two-year-old. Her icy blue eyes stared directly into his soul unsure yet whether to consider him friend or foe. Her clothes were of the spring variety a season that would becoming to an end in following few weeks. They seemed kind small for her, which was saying something, stained with dirt, garbage, and other thing Peter didn't care to name. Her hair was knotted and tangled giving it a troll rat nest appearance. If he had to guess, she was brunette.

The ringing for the apartments land line went of like a school bell. The two caught off guard both flinched at the sudden noise, the little girl letting out a high pitched yelp as she did. Second ring. Peter shared a look with toddler at the other end of the couch. He needed to answer the phone, but he didn't want to trigger a panic. Third ring. She whimpers bring her knees up into her chest. Fourth ring.

"I need to answer the phone," Peter said. His words were clear and concise, carefully spoken as to not spook her. "Please, I promise that's all I'm going to do." Her icy eyes softened, not by much but enough to convince him she would allow him to get up and move across the room.

He moved in at brisk walking pace very aware of the fact that with each step he was silently being judged. Once in the kitchen her scooped up the land line and spoke into it. "Parker residence. Hey this..." he listened for a moment.

"Hey, May... I'm- I'm fine. I could really use your help though... Can it wait?" He looked over to the child now staring out the window, from the couch, with wide eyed fascination at the rain outside. "It's kind of important... Oh I see... Uh-huh... Uh-huh... But still... Uh-huh. Okay... Later? Sure... Okay... No, no I got it... okay, see you then... I love you too...bye." He hung up the phone, placing it back on it charging stand.

With a sigh he ran his hands across his face. The child immediately turned her focus back to him eyes darting up and down to discern his current emotional state. He wouldn't cuss in front of her, at least not a loud. Inside his head he was Kenny McCormick.

He gave a feeble smile to the toddler when he noticed she was watching his every move, as if she were studying him. "What am I going to do with you?" he laughed somewhat dryly. She obviously didn't like that lowering her head so only her eye and above peeked out from behind the couch's back.

Indeed what would he do with her?

........................................................................................................................................................

It seemed there was nothing he could do to make her budge. She was't interested in his action figured, books, or legos— Probably a good thing she wasn't to keen on the legos kind of a choking hazard — she ignored his funny faces and attempts to make her laugh. She just stared on, gnawing on her fingers, curled up at one end of the couch. She had moved when Peter accidentally came too close to her but he wasn't about to do that again. It would be cruel to use her spacial fears against her.

"Okay I give up," Peter declared. "You can just sit there on the couch and do nothing." He was laid out across the rug surrounded by various items he'd pulled from his room in an effort to entertain the emotionless youngling.

At Peter declaration she raised a brow, the faintest of smiles tugging at the corners of her lips. As quickly as it came it went, Peter was none the wiser.

Grrbbrggfgrr

She hadn't meant to do that, Peter could tell by the light pink pink color flushing her cheeks. Her stomach rumbles again making her squirm in her seat.

Peter raced to the kitchen. He swung open the fridge, digging past the left over takeout none of which he figured she'd like, he found a box with leftover chicken nuggets from a meal he'd made himself a few days prior. He took out the remaining seven nuggets and quickly placed them in the microwave for 49 seconds before coming back to the living room.

He sat back down, set the plate out on the coffee table in front of the child and asked.

"Are you hungry?" A lick of the lips was all he got in response. She carefully eyed the plate, focus switching from,Peter to the tenders on a loop. "It's okay, the foods fine," he tried nudging the plate a bit closer to her. "It's chicken nuggets. Do you like chicken nuggets?" She curiously dropped her head to one side eyebrows drawing together as if to ask 'what are chicken nuggets?'

"There really good," Peter coaxed taking a piece for himself to demonstrate. "It's okay, they're not poisoned or anything." He took a bite and smiled.

Hesitantly she reached an arm out but was quick to realize her arms were to short. Cautiously, carefully she slid herself off the couch cushion, eye never leaving Peter. Feet firmly on the ground she let herself relax a little. She finally took one of the nuggets off the plate and sat her little bum on the rug. She sniffed the meat then just barely touched it to her small tongue.

She cooed, kicking her legging up and down, as she'd just been hut by a stoke of lightning. Her eye dilated losing there icy sheen as she devoured the chicken nuggets. Eyes shining with new found life she looked to Peter. Clicking her feet together she held out the plate, making series of inaudible noises.

Peter bit back a laugh, "do you want some more." There was bag in the freezer, they would actually require more than a microwave to bake. But she was happy, maybe more would make her smile.

........................................................................................................................................................

Peter couldn't help but feel proud of himself. Making more chicken nuggets had clearly been the right decision. She chattered and observed everything with a newfound curiosity. He still hadn't seen her smile but that didn't bother him too much.

He sat on the couch watching her wander around the apartment reaching for and looking at everything. Every now and again she'd find something so interesting to her that she'd pick it up and bring it over to show Peter. She chatter and babble nonsensically then leave at his feet and amble of to continue exploring.

Peter was keeping a list in his head of where she was finding everything so he could later put them back. So far she'd gifted him nine items; an electronic candle, the tv remote, one fuzzy sock, his Mathematics of Astronomy textbook, a spare set of keys, a decorative flower, an orange, a quarter and two nickels, and his Wicket the Ewok action figure.

There was pull from under him. He looked over the back of the couch to see the little girl tugging atone end of the throw blanket, the other end firmly lodged underneath him. "Whatcha doin'?" She briefly stared at him, then continued to tug at the soft blanket.

"I don't think I can keep pretending you don't have a name." He said suddenly, lifting himself off his end of the throw blanket.

With no one else home it was easy to ignore the fact that he didn't know her name but it was starting to feel rude. She knew his name, he just thought she couldn't yet say it. Either out of shyness or verbal development.

"Do you have a name?" He asked. She blinked a few times before draping the blanket over her head. "Can you tell me what it is?" He tried. From beneath the blanket she chattered and honked at Peter stomping her feet against the floor.

"Really?" Peter smiled, pretending he knew just what she'd said. "Well, how about I give you a nickname?" she babbled some more craning her head to one side. "Okay cool," he pulled out his phone and brought up a cite for nickname recommendations. "Let's see... cutie? You are pretty cute," Peter teased. He couldn't see her face but he heard her blow a raspberry. "So that's a no... monkey?" she was curious. Another raspberry. "Bee?" This time she shook her head, her interest fading.

Blanket still over her head she traveled around the room like a ghost. A cute ghost. An unnerving tingle ran up Peter's spine making the hairs on his skin stand on end. He immediately looked to the toddler. "Ooah," she squeaked. She hadn't gotten far before bumping into one of the apartment's ceiling support beams. His eyes flew wide and his muscles went all rigid.

He surprised himself, he was at her side in seconds, still maintaining an arms length distance. Her arm length not. "Hey, hey are you okay?" He softly cooed, cautiously lifting the blanket off her head. He looked her over, as best he could from where he was, for any bruises or marks. She nodded.

"Yep? You're okay?" She continued to nod making clicking noises with her tongue. There was this twinge feeling in Peter that just wasn't convinced. Not a spidey-sense feeling just a fEeLiNg.

She affirmatively nods, struggling to stand up in the blanket tangle she'd created. Peter couldn't help but laugh softly watching her struggle to stand. She reminded him of the videos of newborn calves standing for the first time. She sneezed tripping backwards back down on her bum.

His muscles went stiff, he had to stop himself from touching her. "Hey, be careful. Clumsy." He laughed dryly. "You alright?" She turned her head to him, wiping the snot dribbling down her nose away with her sleeve and nodded.

Peter crinkled his nose in disgust, he was compiled by sheer grossed outness to peel her arm away by the sleeve. She flinched at the sudden contact, her face washed blank with confusion. Then she remembered, and her muscles relaxed.

"Let's use a Kleenex," Peter suggested bringing her arm away from her boogered nose. Her clothes were already coated in a thin layer of grime. "Maybe... take a bath?" He added. She was in desperate need of one, he was getting used to it but she reeked. And he was curious to know what she looked like without the filth layer.

That being said, this was the first time he'd been allowed to contact her in anyway since he'd brought her home and she still seemed agitated. So bath would be hers and his summit.

........................................................................................................................................................

"Okay look it's just a little water."

He managed to coax her into the bathroom and fill up the tub before she'd put two and two together. She stood back against the one door and shook her head. He'd been at this for fifteen minutes, though her trust in him had grown she refused to enter the bath. Peter wasn't about to make her that'd just undo her confidence in him.

"Hold on I'll show you." Peter dunked his head into the mildly warm water. Her nervous became frazzled jumping all together in a frazzled panic. Heart rate spiking, she speeds across the room to the edge of the tub. It wasn't long before Peter brought his head back up, he'd only been under for a couple of seconds. His hair lies plaster about his forehead beads of water dripping down from the tips. "See? Perfectly fine?"

Looking to her his smile fell. Gripping tightly the edge of the tub, her eyes held a sweet amount of concern. Lower lip drawn back in her, eyes brimmed with watery tear threading to fall. Guilt hit him like a fright train. "I'm sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He apologized. She shakily sniffled, gnawing on her middle, index, and ring fingers as she sat her bum on the tile. She needed to calm her nerves.

So bath was a no go. Something about the water unnerved her.

"How about a shower?" He offered. Sure the toddler was small but she wouldn't fit in any of the sinks for a baby style bath. It was after all a small apartment. So a shower seemed like the next option. Peter pulled the the drain stopper out, to let the water run down.

Her blues curiously watched the water drain until the base of the tub was bare. "I promise a shower isn't bad." She looked at him, monitoring his movements as he stood and took off the handheld shower head. "Promise, promise," he joked sending a reassuring smile her way.

He turned the nob over the water nozzle, activating the hot water. "It's just like a rain...shower." He explained spraying the shower head toward the bath's back wall.

Eyebrows arching toward the sky, her eyes widened. She chirped and squeaked pointing — with the hand not in her mouth — toward the watery spray.

"See?" He held his hand out in front of the gentle spray. She moved close to him, so close her shoulder brushed against his. She held out her own hand, the warm droplets tickled her skin.

"There you go," Peter beamed. She babbled about, looking between him and the spray, her senseless words ran into one another. Peter reached over her head and took out rubber duck from the shower caddy. "Ducky will even be your shower buddy." It hadn't had purpose until then, previously nothing more than a decoration.

"Quack-quack quack," he teased tickle the duck against her side. She hummed, crumpling up. Her mouth formed what wasn't quite a smile but also not a frown. She poked at the rubber duck, attempting to mimic Peter's quacking. Peter laughed, she sounded like a chick.

"Ducky?" He tried.

She crinkled her nose making a stank face. Another raspberry.

He chuckled softly, she really is cute

........................................................................................................................................................

Peter couldn't believe it. Under all that dirt and grime the toddler was actually quite adorable. She was cute before but now that she was cleaned up she had this new glow to her. The toddler was Celtic looking, fair skin, sharp eyes, spotty dotty freckles that shifted with her cheeks and beautiful strawberry blonde locks.

"And blue," Peter called out.

The two were back in the living room. They spent the better half of an hour sorting Peter's stuff by color, something he thought she wouldn't be interested in but took to quite naturally. They'd run out of stuff from Peter's pile on the floor to sort twenty minutes ago. He wasn't quite sure how it started but now all he had to do was call out a color and she'd toddle off to find a match, then return so he could add it to the corresponding color pile.

No completely clean she'd certainly perked up even more so then before. She wore a pink black-squared tank hooded capri romper, hair still damp it fell loosely on to her shoulders.

Prepping for her a shower he'd discovered she wore pull-ups. Shouldn't have surprised him. This however made him realize there weren't any clothes suited for her in the apartment. Luckily one of the neighbors a floor below had a child close to her assumed age. The mother was confused as to why he needed some of her child's old clothes and pull-ups. Peter had just said he was babysitting and the child didn't bring an extra pair of clothes. Which wasn't a total lie.

The patter of little feet filled the room as the toddler waddled over to Peter from where ever she had been. She held out a blue sandal, not a pair sandals, just the one. "Is there another shoe," Peter asked raining a single brow. She drew in her lip, rocking back and forth on the soles of her feet, and nodded hesitantly.

"Can you go get it for the blue pile?"

She rolled her eyes but nonetheless complied, scuffling off to retrieve the other sandal. She was really enjoyable to be around, a bit of goof ball.

It wasn't long before she came barreling in sandal in hand, a blue metallic 1966 model Chevrolet chevelle clamped between her teeth.

"Hey what did I say?" Peter asked adopting a stern tone. She blinked a few times before remembering. She widened her mouth allowing the car to drop to the floor. "Little gum monster."

This earned him a raspberry.

Peter was certain she was still teething. If she wasn't gnawing/gumming on her own fingers she was gumming on some object. She'd gnawed on the rubber duck, a spatula head, four of the gifts she'd given Peter and now a metal model car. He'd have to get her a teething ring.

Peter shook his head mentally hitting himself. She's not staying.

Peter had to found himself forgetting that fact a couple times in the past two hours.

"Okay go find..." he wanted to challenge her this time. "Yellow." She chirped and squeaked before toddling off. She was a little scout, obtaining articles and returning them to Peter.

This time it too, her bit longer to find something of a yellow color. The duck had already been used so she need to find something else. She found herself in what could only be Peter's room. She sifted and searched, eyes on the lookout for some yellow.

Bingo

He heard it... again. The litter patter of little feet approaching. Heart swelled as he saw her round the corner of the couch, proudly clutching a mustard yellow cloth. "You found yellow," he commended holding a hand out for her to give him the cloth. Peter couldn't help but laugh as he spread out what was actually his mustard yellow tee with the words 'Bacteria. The only culture some people have' printed on in bold black lettering.

The little girl tried mimicking his laughter, but sounded more like a dolphin or chipmunk. This only made Peter laugh more.

"Thanks Gummy."

The name just slipped out. Her eyes sparkled like freshly fallen snow. He could tell by her body language and lack of raspberry that she at the very least didn't hate the name. In fact Her babbling happily like spring brook suggested she liked the name.

"Gummy," he repeated.

There was something about the nickname that just... suited her.

........................................................................................................................................................

When this kid, Gummy at as Peter now called her, got her energy she made the most of it. He never wanted to hear the Hokey-Pokey or the Baby Shark songs again. His muscles were tight from the childish motions. Simon says had been much more his speed for the night, at least until it was Gummy's turn be Simon. Hide-and-Seek nearly gave him a panic attack.

He could no longer deny the fact that he cared about her. Her bright eyes, bubbly chirps, and button nose. Her in all her quirkinesses.

"Okay Gummy, behold one of the greatest movies ever!..." He exclaimed holding up a colorful dvd box. Gummy did her cute curious head tilt, crinkling up her nose. "That we own." Peter murmured somewhat sourly.

Peter had the room set up for comfy movie watching. She'd burned out after four rounds of hide-and-seeks, showing clear signs of tiredness. Now she sat tired-eyed rather sluggishly on the couch. Peter himself was sort of tired too, she'd drain a lot of his energy. A movie seemed like the perfect way to wind down. He wasn't sure how long she'd last, her eyes already glazing over, but he'd enjoy himself even when she inevitably fell asleep.

Gummy reached for the box making grabby hands. Peter took out the dvd and handed it's case to the two-year-old. "It doesn't go in your mouth." He emphasized before turning his back on her. She tried to play with the thin plastic case but quickly discovered the only thing interesting about it was the sound it made when she opened and shut it.

"My Neighbor Totoro. It has animals I really think you'll like." After getting the dvd ready, he sat beside her, letting his body sink into the cushions.

They sat, brains off, engrossed. Peter would peel his eyes away every few minutes to check if Gummy was still awake. Though the television blared her eyes were half closed and her fingers were back in her mouth. She'd yawn, little tongue curling as she did. Her eyes lit up when the first Ghibli creature appeared on screen but there was still a tiredness behind them.

She'd be out like a light soon. Peter returned his focus to the movie.

Some time passed and he suddenly felt a weight increase against his side. He looked down and his eyes immediately softened. Gummy had curled against him. He gave her a side hug and brushed her wispy bangs back. She hugged her little arms around his, nuzzling her face against it, the softest smile gracing her lips.

Peter's heart melted. She's not staying. She's not staying.

He watched her chest rise and fall. The two's combined body heats, tethered with the bump-bump-buh beat of Peter's heart sent the sweet girl off to dreamland. Her fingers unconsciously curled into the fabric of his top, not clasping it tightly, but just enough to reassure her, he wasn't going anywhere. Peter using his other arm brought her onto his lap, protectively holding her against himself.

She's not going anywhere.

........................................................................................................................................................

EXT. Ending

The apartment was dark. The only sources of light came from the one lamp still lit down the hall, and the frequent passing of street cars. Their lights shining through the apartment windows. There was shuffling of feet out in the hall, a muttering of a curse, a jangle of key, and finally a satisfying click. The door swung open. In the door way, the silhouette of a woman shaking the rain off her umbrella.

"Peter?" She whispered quietly entering in. Just barely making out some movement on the couch she shook her head. Her nephew most have fallen asleep on the couch again. "Peter," she called out. At the second call of his name Peter awoke, his hold around the still sleeping baby in his arms tightening.

"Hey Pete sorry I had to work late." May apologized tussling her nephew's hair. "A coworker had leave suddenly, his wife went into labor. And it was my turn to cover." She headed to the kitchen.

Peter pushed a hand through his hair fixing the tussled up areas. "Yeah it's fine May," He assured looking back at her from over his shoulder. "Something huge happened after school." He began.

He didn't get a chance to finish as his aunt held up the dirty pair of clothes Gummy had been wearing earlier. Their apartment didn't have a washing machine so he'd simply discarded them in the sink until they could be washed. "Peter who's clothes are these? Who's Emilia?"

"Emilia?”

May held up the shirt tag. While he was seated too far to see what was written, he had to guess it was the word 'Emilia'.

Peter bit the inside of his cheek, mentally kicking himself. Her name was on her shirt tag! As the full realization, sank in, he threw his head back. From the pit of his stomach, came all his emotion, and a loud groan passed through his lips.

"Damn it."

#peter parker #peter parker x child #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #marvel fandom #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #Spider-Man headcanon #spider man homecoming #spiderman #spider man #original character #oc #writing #reblogs are greatly appreciated!! #comments loved #hashtags admired

[dontjudgemebymykpoptrash]

Saw A.C.E in Chicago and Atlanta this week and had meet and greet packages for both stops (no I couldn't afford it, yes my bank account overdrafted whoops).

It was ammazingggg. LONG STORY AHEAD.

The question I asked was answered by Chan. Bless his heart he struggled so much to say my name and I was in the second row on the furthest side from him. I stood up and waved so he could see me. They asked how to pronounce my name and BK actually said it perfectly, I was so impressed!

The question that was chosen was "What hobby do you want to try that you haven't tried before". He said Cooking, cause he isn't good at it and Donghun won't eat his food.

When the item signing started, BK would interact with us a lot and the girls in front of us took the liberty of teaching him the phrase "Let's get this bread." His face when they explained that bread = money was priceless. Experiencing that magical moment will live with me forever since he has been saying it nonstop since then.

So since PLT I've decided my "thing" for each autograph I can get is making my dumb pun fans. Eventually I'll just have a wall of these dang things and I'm excited about it. I made one for each my friend and me. Here's mine.

The other thing I prepared for them I kept super secret because I very much wanted to see their reaction to it. I didn't post it publicly anywhere. In line with Choice teasingly referring to Junhee as a lizard much to the delight of the fandom and the rest of A.C.E while hysterically bugging Jun, I couldn't resist... I'd always wanted to give away cute things at concerts but since I'm also an asshole I used my exceptionally mediocre photoshop skills to make

These beauties.

I originally only had 150 to hand out and I was actually worried I wouldn't be able to get rid of them all. I thought people might think they're dumb and not want any. Then due to a print shop mistake I ended up with 650. Whoops.

Before the meet and greet they tell us explicitly we are not allowed to give them anything and if they catch us trying to sneak them something they'll escort us out. My plan to see their reaction was almost destroyed! But I was very graciously given permission to -show- them the card, not give it to them (don't worry. They each got two in their gift boxes).

A.C.E tends to always stand/sit in the same order, so just as I expected, Chan was up first. He understood the pun of my fan! He thought it was really cute and gave such a big reaction I was pleased. Then I showed him the card and it was even bigger. I told him it was Junhee and he full on kicked out a leg and hit the table as he laughed which made me happy. He shook my hand.

Up next was Donghun who was the most quiet. I showed him the card after he signed my fan and he asked who it was. I told him it was Jun and he laughed and probably judged me a lot but then he gave me a high five and interlaced our fingers for a moment so I didn't feel completely embarrassed. The person behind me was so excited they moved onto Donghun before Jun was ready for me so I was waiting in limbo for a few seconds.

Leader Jun in the middle, the reaction I wanted most. He signed my fan and then I put the card down for him to see. He asked who it was, he seemed surprised. I told him it was him and he laughed and tried to deny it. He asked what kind of lizard it was, I told him it was a giant day gecko because I think they're the cutest. I told him I made sure to give them some in their gift box, and that we would see him again in Atlanta. He shook my hand and then the person behind me got excited again lol.

Byeongkwan was next! This boy is an absolute doll okay? The first thing he said to me is that he liked my lipstick (it was green). He signed my fan, then I showed him the card and he was beyond stoked. He laughed so loud and even held it up to Jun pointing it out to everyone. I promised him he got two in his gift box. He asked if I made one of each member and I told him no, but promised him I would next year (me and my big mouth). He held my hand and interlaced fingers and was just so sweet until the person behind me encouraged me on again.

WOW. OKAY. So Sehyoon is my bias af I was VISIBLY SHAKING at this point and as I set my fan down it so obnoxiously tapped the table several times. He tapped his lips and pointed at mine and said "pretty". I thanked him and said it was green for "cactus". I'm not sure if he understood cause he just repeated "cactus" and cocked his head slightly before signing my fan. Then I showed him the card. He asked who it was and I said Jun. He laughed a little and then I told him he was my favorite. He had the quietest lil thank you, then took my hand in both his soft tiny bby hands and I think my brain melted cause I couldnt make eye contact anymore it was too much. Just thinking about it is making my heart hurt. (To be clear, I am in no way special, he held everyone's hand the same way).

After that, we did the pictures! I very shyly wanted to stand between BK and Wow. I didn't do anything special this time around cause the pose I wanted was done by two other people so I just asked for cute cheek pokies. They were having so much fun with people so that inspired my next photo request. As I was walking away from the photo BK told me again that he really liked my lipstick and I was over the moon.

I brought about half the cards with me to hand out hoping I wouldn't have extras and people LOVED THEM? I ran out and felt bad that I didn't bring more!

The concert was AWESOME!! They're so interactive with fans I had several moments with EACH of them, but my favorite is when Wow kicked up a heart and he saw me catch it all goofy instead of letting him hit the woah and he laughed and mimicked me. He also handed me two lollipops (I gave one to my friend) but I'm never gonna eat it.

For the hi touch Chan handed us our photo cards, and hi fived us. They were oddly out of order (chan, Donghun, BK, Wow, Jun). I managed to tell him and Donghun they did amazing, then BK told me AGAIN he still loved my lips. I was so excited I told him "it'll be BLUE next time" and he said "oh!" BUT BY DOING THAT MY DUMBASS MISSED THE CHANCE TO LOOK INTO WOW'S AND JUN'S EYES UGH I WAS SO UPSET AT MYSELF also I got yelled at by security (rightly so).

Next is Atlanta!

I started handing out cards earlier and got worried again cause there were quite a few people that weren't interested at all. Fortunately by the end of the show there were so many people wanting them I offered to do a reprint if necessary. Some people even said they were going through the hi touch holding it up which I LOVED.

Anyway, this time during the Meet and Greet I was in the front row directly in front Byeongkwan and Wow. I WAS NOT OKAY. I kept making eye contact and getting so shy ugh. Byeongkwan recognized me and tapped his lips and winked when he saw me (I was wearing blue lipstick this time). BK got my question (the interpreter said my name perfectly without me needing to tell her, I was so impressed!) I asked what concept they wanted to try that they hadn't tried yet. He said they had already done everything and I cocked my head giving him a disbelieving look. He then admitted that they hadn't done the cutesy boy concept and I lost it- I cant imagine them trying to pull that off.

For future Choice in my position- these boys have ears like BATS okay. There was one time Jun said something like "it's his choice." And I quietly said to the person next to me "no we're choice." And he looked at me and said "You're right! You're all choice!" I was shook.

Wow got asked what his favorite dessert to eat is and he said chocolate anything, then listed things "Chocolate cake. Chocolate ice cream. Chocolate rice." At this point everyone exclaims and he gets his silly lil smile and says "Chocolate fish." And everyone loses it. It was so funny and cute.

Later Jun was asked if he preferred pancakes or waffles and it was a really hard question for him. He said he had been eating more pancakes since coming to the US but he liked both a lot. He just didn't like Chocolate pancakes and I said "cause Wow eats them all?" And wow just very dreamily says "Choco pancakes...." I about died.

BK was asked if he wanted to go to the aquarium and he said he really hoped to. He asked if there were beluga and everyone said yes but I said "But they have WHALE SHARKS!" which imo is the coolest thing about the Georgia aquarium. None of them seemed to know exactly what I meant but they were excited by the concept of the words "whale" and "shark" together. (Spoiler alert: The next day they totally went and got pics with the whale shark).

Finally BK asked where people recommended they eat. Someone suggested sushi at first. I thought it was funny to recommend sushi when visiting the US. BK seemed of the same mindset so chicken and waffles came up and Jun loudly said WAFFLES! To which, Wow said in his same dreamy tone "chocolate waffles" and I looked at him and said "chocolate chicken?" embarrassing the HELL out of myself cause everyone was super grossed out by it and making a scene. I hid but my friend said Wow thought it was funny. I think she was trying to make me feel better.

So the item signing time comes up. My DUMB ASS forgot my album at home so the day before I had gone on a panicked shopping spree and decided on a pot for my cactus.

Chan was up first as usual. He recognized me and asked if I was in Chicago and I said yes! He asked what the pot was and I told him it was for my cactus plant. He was so adorable, while he was signing it he said quietly "grow well." So now it has to. This time he did not do a high five with me.

Next was Donghun. He looked so confused at my pot. I told him it was for my cactus and he just kinda nodded. It was very quiet because I had tried to learn a short phrase for him in korean but I got too nervous and I couldn't say it. I just thanked him. I'll have to keep practicing.

Jun was next and also asked me if I had been in Chicago and thanked me for coming again. I told him it was my last stop but I knew they would keep doing amazing. He asked about the pot and said it was so cute and signed super big. He shook my hand.

BK was next and he complimented my lips again. I asked him if he liked the green or blue better and he said both were good. He asked about the pot and signed it for me, he said it was cute and he liked it. He high fived me when it was time to move on.

WOW. AGAIN. okay so he asked about the pot and I said it was for my cactus and he mimed planting a cactus while looking up at me and I nodded while melting cause he is SO GODDAMN CUTE OKAY. Then while he was signing it I worked up my courage cause I had tried to learn a phrase for him as well BUT I MESSED UP I MESSED UP SO BAD IT WAS BAD OKAY. He was so confused and thank GOD the interpreter was right there and she asked "what are you trying to say" and she helped me say it. I was SO EMBARRASSED I had practiced so much and was saying it SO WELL up until that moment. Once I managed he smiled and said I did good then took my hand and said something which the interpreter translated for me and I just grabbed my heart with my free hand and then had to just cover my face I couldnt handle it. Walking away was hard but staying was harder.

Of course that just put me back in my seat directly in front of him.

Dont judge me, but I was trying to say, "You're so awesome it makes my heart hurt." And his response was "Then I'll prescribe you some medicine" and I KNOW its cheesy and overdone but I wanted that moment once for me so I took my chance. Anyway I looked like a damn fool but it was over.

The last dumb thing I did as the signing went on cause we kept making random eye contact and I got self conscious of always looking away. One of the times Wow and I met eyes I winked and shot finger guns and his eyebrows raised ever so slightly and I wanted to sink into the floor and die so I hid my face again. He looked so surprised like what WAS I THINKING WHY DID I DO THAT AAAAAAAA.

Anyway.

Here's my cute cheap pot!

Next was pictures. This time I had a plan. I asked them to pose ugly with me. They were surprised and asked for clarification twice, BK even asked me in english and I said "yes, ugly faces. If you can! If it's even possible." I wonder if it's the first time theyve ever been requested to do that. Anyway that's gonna be my thing too with the punny fan from now on. They did their best and it's absolutely adorable. Afterward BK walked up to me and wanted to see the pictures I took so I showed him. After he walked away it occured to me how fun and casual that was, that he just came over to look at pics together. I love this boy so much damb.

The atlanta show was amazing but the stage was so high up and far away there was no direct interaction possible. They made up for it with even more interaction! BK and Donghun each danced with me. I made a heart with my friend and Chan winked and laughed cause it looked like she begrudgingly made the heart with me when in reality she just couldnt hear me and couldnt tell what I was asking. Wow played a heart escalating game with me and he won so I made a dumb cute face and he laughed.

At hi touch I was determined not to miss Wow again. The order was the same except Donghun and Chan switched. I told them they did really amazing, a great show! Then BK said "Best lips!" To me and I got so excited but still didnt want to miss Wow, I loudly repeated "Best Lips!" While making eye contact and high fiving this poor man so hard, then for Jun I said "Don't forget!" And he was just so unprepared for me because I was unprepared for me but I WAS SO HYPED UP I LOST MY LAST BRAINCELL ITS STILL IN ATLANTA GUYS ITS GONE FOREVER.

So anyway that was a lot of unnecessary details about my specific adventures with A.C.E and I loved them so much and maybe one person will read this and smile but mostly I just want to try and remember as much detail as possible. I'll add things as I remember if I forgot something. Anyway dont be like me hahahaHAHAHA.

Also highkey if BK or one of the boys ends up with a bold lipstick color for a comeback or promotions in the next year or so I'm taking full credit.

#i have ADHD so i can get really worked up #its like my brain stops working #i just word vomit #very hit or miss #people think its either annoying or endearing #mostly annoying #god i hope a.c.e forgets my obnoxious ass #a.c.e undercover tour #a.c.e in chicago #a.c.e in atlanta #a.c.e tour 2019 #a.c.e my music taste #ace kpop #park junhee #lee donghun #Kim Sehyoon #wow #Kim Byeongkwan #kang yuchan #bk #chan #jun #donghun #higher choice package #choice #a.c.e #ace

[catholicartistsnyc]

Meet: Emily Claire Schmitt

EMILY CLAIRE SCHMITT is a NYC-based playwright. (www.emilyclaireschmitt.com and Twitter: @Eclaire082)

CATHOLIC ARTIST CONNECTION (CAC): What brought you to NYC?

EMILY CLAIRE SCHMITT (ECS): I'm originally from Cincinnati, Ohio and I did my undergrad at Saint Mary's College in Indiana.  I always hoped to move to New York and I was fortunate that a few things fell into place for me when I graduated.  I was accepted into the New School for Drama's MFA program directly from undergrad.  I had applied to schools all over the country, and this happened to be both my top choice and only acceptance letter.  My college boyfriend's family is from Staten Island, so he moved back home and we were able to stay together.  Now that boyfriend is my husband, so I'm here to stay.

CAC: What do you see as your personal mission as a Catholic working in the arts?

ECS: First off, I love this question.  I think about this a lot, and I always try to pray a bit before I start writing, even if what I'm working on isn't an overtly religious piece.  I believe that God wants to be present with us as we grapple with the world and, while I don't let religious doctrines limit the content of my writing, my writing is always filtered through a worldview that God exists.  

A great deal of my art is critical of the institutional Church, but I'm still very insistent that I am a Catholic writer, as opposed to a formerly Catholic writer. There is a fundamental difference between someone who critiques from within and someone who has left the Church and is describing the experience that caused them to leave.  This distinction is supremely important to me.

I believe my vocation as a writer is to be a tool for God to express Themself in the world.  Sometimes this means representing the beauty of God's world, but more often than not it means shining light on that which is not in alignment with the Divine, whether within secular society or within the Church.  I hope that my work makes both religious and secular people uncomfortable.  I hope it makes them wonder what God thinks about them.

CAC: Where have you found support in the Church for your vocation as an artist?

ECS: I've been extremely fortunate to have made great connections with fellow Catholics in the arts.  I've worked with Xavier Theatre and Film, a Jesuit theater company, and they produced a showcase of my play "The Chalice" at the Stonewall Inn.  This was one of the highlights of my career thus far, an intersection of the Catholic and secular world that was truly fulfilling.

CAC: Where have you found support among your fellow artists for your Catholic faith?

ECS: It's a mixed bag.  Grad school was not a positive experience for me in terms of acceptance. After 16 years of Catholic education, I was suddenly in a secular world and I made a lot of mistakes in terms of how I presented myself.  I was wrestling with my faith privately, but fiercely defending it publicly, which is never a good tactic.  I didn't feel safe.  I no longer work with anyone from grad school, and that's best for all of us.

However, post graduation I have really found an artistic community with people of all faiths.  I have frequent collaborators who are non-Catholic Christians, members of other faiths, atheists, and agnostics.  I've found a particular home with The Skeleton Rep, a theater company that focuses on "building modern myth."  My religious beliefs really mesh with their interests, despite being a completely secular company.  I am currently developing a musical with them. 

CAC: How can the Church be more welcoming to artists?

ECS: Stop policing our content.  The vocation of an artist is to observe, critique, and respond.  It is not the vocation of the artist to simply listen and accept doctrine without question.  This means that there is an essential tension between the work of being an artist and the work of being a practicing Catholic.

As an artist, I don't have the luxury of keeping my disagreements with the Church private. I promise I'm listening and it's possible to change my mind. Please be patient with me.

CAC: How can the artistic world be more welcoming to artists of faith?

ECS: I think this is a difficult question because in most of the instances where people have been unwelcoming to me, it's because they have been hurt in some serious way by the Church.  It's taken me a long time to accept that, while I have not personally hurt them, I am part of an institution that has and it's not unreasonable for them to ask me to answer for that.

I try to be clear about my beliefs and about why I have chosen to remain in the Church.  I also try to articulate how I'm striving to make the Church better, while remaining firm in my support of Her.  I have to be both gentle and unafraid about how and why I disagree with the secular world as well.  Once again, I promise I'm listening and it's possible to change my mind.  Please be patient with me.

CAC: Where in NYC do you regularly find spiritual fulfillment?

ECS: I'm a bit of a parish hopper.  When I first came to NYC I fell in love with Saint Francis Xavier, near Union Square.  Their Young Adults Group was a great community for me, but after moving to Brooklyn and back I'm not as involved as I once was.  I've become more interested in traditional, more formal, liturgies. Saint Joseph of Yorkville is a beautiful neighborhood parish that has a highly reverent modern mass.  There are so many families with children there, it gives me great hope.  And the pastor is the man who reported on McCarrick so that's no small thing.... I like a priest I can respect, for obvious reasons.

When I'm feeling in particular need of deep ritual, I do love a Latin Mass. Saint Agnes by Grand Central is a great place to go for that. 

CAC: Where in NYC do you regularly find artistic fulfillment?

ECS: I already mentioned The Skeleton Rep, but one thing they do which I love are monthly artist salons.  Artists will get together, drink wine, and read new work, either a full play or short plays based on a prompt.  There is no formal feedback, just a chance for the writer to hear her play.  And afterwards we have a party.

CAC: How have you found or built community as a Catholic artist living in NYC?

ECS: Connecting with Brother Joe Hoover at Xavier Theater has really connected me with a great community of Catholic artists.  He has a way of making connections and bringing together a dynamic and diverse group of people with a huge variety of perspectives on the faith.  If you ever get the chance to work with them I highly recommend it.  Joe is a fantastic playwright and actor in his own right.

CAC: What is your daily spiritual practice?

ECS: I wish I had a better one...  I pray every day before I write.  My husband and I pray together before meals.  Recently, we've been doing a daily reflection before bed.  It's just one of those Little Blue Books you pick up from your parish during Advent, but it's been great.

CAC: What is your daily artistic practice? And what are your recommendations to other artists for practicing their craft daily?

ECS: I try to write for an hour every morning after working out and before leaving for work. This is really my sacred time: after my husband leaves, freshly showered, and place to myself.  It's short but it's extremely important.  And I can't stress enough the value of praying before you write. 

CAC: Describe a recent day in which you were most completely living out your vocation as an artist. What happened, and what brought you the most joy?

ECS: The most recent Skeleton Rep salon was on New Year's Eve.  I wrote a short piece for the event which spoke of my Catholic faith and it's relationship to the mission of the company.  Afterwards, another artist present pulled me aside to talk about how he is a Catholic as well but had stopped going to Church.  He was interested in going back, so we spent a long time talking about why I felt it was important for young Catholic artists to be in the faith and engage with it from the inside.  The whole conversation was so fulfilling for me. 

CAC: You actually live in NYC? How!?

ECS: I need to be completely up front and say that I have been incredibly privileged in terms of financial support from my family.  This is something we do not talk about enough in the arts.  My parents paid my rent and my tuition while I was in school and I am debt-free.  I'm also married to someone with a traditional career who contributes the majority of our income.  I am so incredibly fortunate it's not even funny.  

CAC: But seriously, how do you make a living in NYC?

ECS: Even with the financial support, I do have a full-time day job.  I don't know how anyone would make rent or buy groceries without one.  I work in social media marketing, which is great because it's mostly all remote.  I've also been nannying for my cousin's baby so making that sweet side cash.

It's a lot of work, and keeping my passion afloat on top if it, and making sure it remains my focus rather than just a "hobby" is a constant battle.

CAC: How much would you suggest artists moving to NYC budget for their first year?

ECS: I can't give a great answer to this, because it's so varied and I was in school when I started.  But consider that your monthly rent is likely to be over 1K no matter where you live.

CAC: What other practical resources would you recommend to a Catholic artist living in NYC?

ECS: I can't recommend enough reaching out to Xavier Theater for professional connections.  In terms of headshots, Joe Loper is a former classmate of mine who does a great job and is very reasonable. http://joeloper.com/

CAC: What are your top 3 pieces of advice for Catholic artists moving to NYC?

ECS: 1.) Don't rush finding your people.  It's a big city and it takes time.

2.) Exercise.

3.) Go to confession.  Why make art with sin on your soul?

#catholic #playwright #catholic artist #artist #emily claire schmitt #st. mary's college #new school #xavier #xavier theatre company #st. francis xavier #st. joseph of yorkville #st. agnes #catholic artist connection #catholic artists nyc

[zombiiesque]

Nocturne Alchemy Osirian Purnima Perfumes Part Two

Originally published 3/24/19

Welcome back to the second half of my Osirian Purnima (OP) reviews! Y'all, I've put off reviewing these, because I just don't know if I have enough of a language to give them the accolades they deserve, but here we are, I'll continue along. They are really something special. All of my life, I'd loved incense, and to be able to wear a perfume that smells like incense (plus other amazing notes)? Yes, please. NA has done something truly incredible with these.

If you've already read Part One, found here, you can skip through these next few paragraphs, but I want to post the OP base and my little speech for anyone who might have come here first.

All of the Osirian Purnimas (OPs, for short) have the same base, so from the website: "Each Osirian Purnima includes the original OP recipe in addition to the notes above for each individual perfume. The Osirian Purnima blend uses the most beautiful and exotic of ingredients, including the tuned recipe of Bastet’s Zamsara: An exotic Blue Incense blended into the dark sensuality of aged Kashmir in Mahogany wood and a drop of Santalum Black, Black Frankincense, Black Hessonite, Bastet's Amber and aged Eternal Ankh Vanilla Absolute. This was then blended into Purnima Incense: Blue Coriander, Italian Bergamot, Ambrette Musk, NA Incense Accord, Egyptian Cedar Chips, Palo Santo Chips and genus of three beautiful Frankincense Olibanum Resin: B. Carteri, B. Thurifera and B. Serrata. Solid Myrrh wood is then stirred in and taken out, leaving a trace element of sweet wood within the blend. Intoxicating blend of Labdanum Extract, Benzoin Syrup and Oakmoss stir in the incense ephemeral element to the blend. Five Sandalwood perfume oils swirl throughout the Osirian."

The labels are gorgeous. They're done by Trista Musco, an artist from New Orleans. If you click on my photo up top, you can have a closer look. Little, beautiful works of art, representing each God or Goddess. All the names are from the Egyptian pantheon.

A caveat: The components of this series are delicate due to the very nature of the oil compositions with their finite incense notes of absolute, essential and steam distilled nature. Travel really disturbs them. The impulse is to open them and at least sniff them, if not try them immediately, but they're going to be very off. Whenever I get a new OP, I won't even open it for a week. It's entirely up to you, of course, but I would hate for someone to get the wrong impression and miss out on something special. When they first came out, this was the one request Seth had for us, to please give it a few days, so as to have a proper first introduction. I have also found that giving these a full month aging really changes them. I was a little underwhelmed at first by OP Pakhet, my first choice of the series, and I didn't understand what I was missing. Everyone had rave reviews. So I stuck it away in a dark box, and went back to it about a month after I got it. The change was mind blowing - it was an incredible scent, far from underwhelming! /soapbox

Okay, there we go! Information passed along, let's get started on these last five Gods and Godesses, shall we?

OP ANUBIS: Guardian of the Necropolis, protector of the dead – With Underworld Oudh (unreleased ICON) at the base of this perfume with Black Frankincense and Black Myrrh ruminating through smoke, the Guardian of the Necropolis protects his dead with the incense of dark wood and rich incense smoke. Ooof, Anubis is absolutely brimming with deep resins. The myrrh is beautifully sweet, balancing the almost citrusy frankincense. Smoky incense provides a counter to the sweet. I bet Underworld Oudh would have been incredible, because the glimpse I get of it here sure does intrigue me. If you've got the SL Ember, it reminds me the tiniest bit of that - but it's much more complex. I adore Ember, so this was definitely one I'd wanted, and it doesn't disappoint. Mesmerizing, and yet so cozy.

OP BABA: God of aggression and controller of darkness – Black Musk & Nag Champa are the wild animal tamed only by a God. Oh, how do I love the various nag champas NA does, and this one is no exception. The black musk is so plush here, it's a wonderful juxtaposition against the nag champa, which is of course perfect with the OP base. I used to be scared of black musks, they can be so overwhelming and strident, but Nocturne Alchemy has by far the best I've ever smelled, it's just so appealing to me. It doesn't drown out the more delicate incense notes, but rather enhances them in a beautiful dance. And this one has special meaning to me, it's the name of an ancient Mesopotamian healing Goddess, and I have always had a connection to her, so I was really drawn to this. It was my third OP, and I wear this a lot when I am doing meditation or ritual work. It really helps with focus.

OP OSIRIS: God of the dead, God of the afterlife and resurrection into eternal life. Black Amber Incense is the base of this God of the afterlife, the resurrection of scent comes in the billow of incense and dark amber notes. This one is really close to my heart. I was pretty distraught when Laura, a dear friend and invaluable member of the Nocturne Alchemy community, passed away last year. I probably wore this for a solid month, it brought me so much comfort. Osiris is the dark amber version of OP Isis, there's a wonderfully fresh amber here, it's almost sweet, but it's a deep, viscous and mysterious. It's balanced against a smoky note and the OP base, a beautiful incense with this. It curls around you in a fragrant warmth. There's a feel of protection and comfort here.

OP SET: God of Chaos, Storms and Darkness; Lord of Sepermeru – With NAVA Egyptian Temple Oudh at the base of this perfume, the chaos of incense and rich dark smoky woods permeates this God of storms and darkness. Set has one of my all-time favorites featured, Egyptian Temple Oudh. I've raved and raved about this Icon, so I'm sure regular readers know how much it has my heart. Here are the notes: "A more intense Oudh that softens over time on the skin. Egyptian Agarwood Oudh is represented here and it is recommended for first time Oudh enthusiasts to inhale from the bottle softly or fan the open bottle toward you with your hand to catch the nuances of smoking embers, dried honeycomb and sandalwood." It's a smoky, deep, and a little sticky wood, and my bottle is so thick at this point, it's almost gummy. And I adore it. If this sounds pretty amazing to you, I really encourage you to get a bottle of OP Set and age it - it's one that I would more firmly advocate needs a good long time to come into its own, but I promise it's worth it to sock it away in a dark corner of a box and just walk away. Set is pretty simply Egyptian Temple Oudh and incense, but it's an experience. The incense adds a subtle sweetness to it, but it doesn't take away that incredible, deep dark sensuous smoke and wood. For me, this is like going into a temple at night. There are piles of smoky, fragrant incense, and immediately you are drawn away from your daily worries, and into a sacred space where you are calm and at peace. It's wonderful for meditating, but of course, I wear it more often than that. This one might possibly be my favorite, but of course I can't make that decision, I love them all so much.

OP SOBEK: Alchemist against evil, protector from crocodiles and the Lord of Faiyum; controller of waters – deep blood red Kashmir and Crimson musk flow throughout the OP perfume. Two of my favorite musks ever, combined with incense. Of course I love Sobek! Unapologetic, sexy red musk of Kashmir, against the cleaner, brighter red musk of Crimson. What a great combination here. So appealing! The incense base definitely provides a balance for Kashmir, which can be absolutely full speed, no stop - here, you're able to get all three aspects, and that's really awesome. However, if you're looking for a softer musk scent, this is definitely not it. This is definitely a warm red scent, and it isn't shy. I get a lot of compliments from random strangers when I wear this - people find it very appealing, and unusual.

I forgot something, and I feel like it's important to add this in. So, the OPs are all quite potent - especially aged. They last a wonderfully long time on me, and they are not in any way skin scents - a little does go a long way. I would start out with a light hand, and if you want more, you can always add to it! Also, I wanted to mention that I wear these year 'round. You might think, looking at the notes, that they're too heavy for spring or summer, and in my experience, they actually do great in the humidity down here in Florida. So give them a try, you might find yourself really enjoying them in warmer weather!

Okay, so that's the last of the OPs that I have. I'm missing Ammut, Horus, Khepri, Khnum, and Sekhmet. Hah, and I want all five! I've especially had my eye on Ammut, Horus, and Khepri, but I have definitely been loving myrrh and frankincense a lot more than I used to, so they'll have to come home one of these days. Which ones do you have? Which are you wanting to bring home? Who is your favorite? Gods, I couldn't choose one, if I had to. It's such a sublime collection, a magnum opus to incense. A love letter to the Egyptian pantheon. And now, the promise of more, with the arrival of the Spring collection! I'm beside myself. I hope y'all have a wonderful Sunday. Wear something beautiful today.

[madstermojo2000]

Seventeen were actually really important both in getting me into K-pop, and just my life in general and I do still really love their music, even though I wouldn't put them on my top 6 groups anymore. I was lukewarm to starting to get interested in K-pop (and also it was another difficult time in my life. I'm just realizing now that I've been responding to difficult times by getting into new K-pop groups for about four years now) and I'd heard a couple of their songs, and was neutral towards them (I've never really been one for the "cute/bright concepts), but then my brother showed me Healing and everything changed. I just sat down and started crying. That one song from a group I was neutral towards was exactly what I needed to hear at that part of my life. (on a personal note, this is how I realized I needed therapy)

Wow. uh. Yeah that was a little personal, but I want to share my own experience with the artists you like! I guess my relationship with Seventeen is just something special and personal. Anyway. TXT. I knew about TXT from debut, and I thought Crown was interesting, if not the kind of music or concept I'd listen to regularly (and the Nap of a Star m/v was fascinating and completely unexpected), and I guess I was looking somewhere else when Runaway happened? Anyway, then there was Dream Chapter: Eternity. And wow. That was something else entirely. I loved every song from that album. Then I was originally ambivalent toward Blue Hour (with the exception of We Lost The Summer, that song really hit me in the face), and with the Chaos Chapter: Freeze, I decided to start actively following and looking into them. I think that right now, the only reason they're not among my ults is that I'm not familiar enough with them, and I intend to change that in the near future.

As I said in an earlier ask, I'm not really familiar with Sam Kim. I kind of know him by reputation? I know a lot of people like him, and he does seem like a solid artist, but I just haven't really looked into him.

I went into this thinking I would mention Onewe, Purple Kiss, and E'Last all at once, but this ask has already gotten really long just from talking about my relationship with Seventeen and TXT, so I'll just cover Onewe for now, and talk about Purple Kiss and E'Last later.

I first found Onewe through their Parting m/v, around when it came out in mid-late 2020 and wow. The emotional impact was incredible, I loved their voices, and I have a nostalgic soft spot for rock anyway, so it was the perfect song! (also they released a "Halloween version" of Parting, and even that was beautiful) Unfortunately, I didn't really feel like getting into another group when they were first on my mind, so I put off looking deeper for a while, but I did come back to Parting every so often. But then earlier this year, well, if you actively stan Oneus or Onewe, there's a good chance you'll end up at least knowing something about the other (Not only are they under the same company, but they promoted together before debut, and Xion, Oneus's maknae, and Dongmyeong, Onewe's keyboardist are twins! They still show up to each other's activities to support each other, which I just find super sweet). They started showing up in my recommendations more, I listened to all their songs and watched everything with subs from their channel, looked up Oneus and Onewe's debut project, and they were just ult material. They don't have as many songs as other artists who've been around for the same amount of time, but every one of their songs is solid and distinctive, although they do have a consistent sound and some recurring lyrical themes (space and memories take center stage in two title tracks each), but that's to be expected when they write their own songs, with the same few instruments in mind.

I totally understand music helping you through things and I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to tell me about it. I know it's not always easy to share things that personal but I really appreciate it. It's nice that seventeen was able to help you through that time and that healing could be a bit healing for you. (sorry bad joke) I also appreciate you mentioning your relationship with my groups as well!! It's nice to hear others stories about my favorite groups!!

You mentioned not being one for "bright/cute concepts" and that's mostly what I enjoy lol. I think it really shows how music can be subjective and people can enjoy different songs from artists regardless of their main concept or theme, especially for kpop.

I knew about Oneus and Onewe having twins!! That was one of the facts about the groups that I remembered from the little research I did when Oneus debuted. It's cool that Onewe has a recurring lyrical theme! It makes it feel like they put a lot of effort into their music!! It's always cool when groups write their own music and are able to direct the message their music is giving to people. I guess I like seventeen for the same reason since they make their own music as well.

In order to keep my response relatively short (and so we can have more to talk about over later messages) I'll talk about how I found verivery and onf and save treasure and lucy for later!! These two groups are kinda related because I found them at the same time. As I mentioned in my last response, I was really into trying to keep up with debuts for a while and it just so happened that during that time both verivery and onf debuted. I had seen their debuts and liked them both (they fit the bright concepts) but never got super into either of them. They both fell off my radar after awhile until they participated in Road to Kingdom!!! I was stunned by onf's stages on the show!! You mentioned liking dramatic music and theatrics well that's exactly what their performances were!!! I was blown away and wanted to give their music another listen and I can honestly say, they are BY FAR the kpop group with THE BEST DISCOGRAPHY!! At least in my opinion. None of their songs are a skip for me, I love every single one!! And verivery was more on the softer side but I really like that so I enjoyed their performances, especially in contrast to the other groups who were doing darker themes. Again, I gave their music a second chance and fell in love with it as well. I ended up buying both groups entire album collection in one go and now I'm following their new releases!! By the way, onf is having a comeback next month and I'm SOOOO excited!!! (so is txt)

I'm excited to hear about your other favorite artists!!!

#multi anon #summer anon event

[harimaron]

Can you post a recap of how Drag Con went? I've never been and would love to hear how your time was spent/ if it was any fun

Yes, definitely! I’ll do it directly onto this post (cause why not?). Warning: This is way too long and wordy. I apologize in advance. Tl;dr: Drag Con was great.

Drag Con was so much fun, though very painful to the feet after a while–but when is drag not a pain in the feet? I don’t remember everything, but I guess I’ll mention the highlights (probably way too much).

Day One:

I didn’t go to drag con looking to stand in long-ass lines for two hours at a time, because I figured that would be a waste of time for me. As much as I love everyone’s faves, I’d rather get as much out of the experience as I can. So, sorry fan faves (besides Detox and Laganja).

The only ‘long line’ booth that I regret not attending was Haus of Aja because their booth looked cute AF! (In fact, I exchanged a word with Kandy on day one while I was passing by, but I was awkward af and felt like I was breaking some kind of con protocol by talking to a queen out-of-line even if she spoke to me first. (God, I wish I’d actually said something, like at least acknowledge that I knew who she was? Lol but welp.) I’d also have liked to see Shangela, but I’m sure there’ll be other chances that don’t involve an hour wait.

The first thing we did on day one was go to Sugar Pill because my friend wanted to buy makeup (and I was really tempted but I didn’t buy anything). Saw Shrinkle there and took a picture with her. (And just NOW I realize what I should have talked to her about instead of being quiet and awkward.)

I think the first two queens I saw on day one were Gia and Laganja (speaking of fan faves–assuming she’s one). I got lucky with them because we ran into a friend who was already on line for them and were able to get in pretty quickly. I felt a little guilty, but hey… Gia looks fucking gorgeous and I wish I’d talked more with her, especially since I’m helping a friend organize an event for the trans community at the moment. Unfortunately I was still in my awkward just-got-here phase at that point (not sure that the phase ever went away). Now… I’ve been on the hunt to meet Laganja for ages now, so I felt very accomplished actually!! 

Wandered around a bit after meeting Team Too Much, then ran into Jiggly’s booth. Cool, quick line, no hassle. Jiggly has the CUTEST lollipops in her merch. Highly recommend. Don’t know if I’ll be able to ever eat mine cause it’s way too cute. I’m not sure why I’m always so shy around Jiggly.

After Jiggly I ran into a drag queen named Astala Vista and she is my new fave cause she’s a crazy cat lady. (Her look won me over.)

After that I saw Ongina. Her merch was cheap on day one and more expensive on day two. (I guess cause they did well and a lot of it was almost sold out.) I also had a sketch of her that I got her to sign and she was one of the queens I was hoping to see!

After that I went for Phi Phi O’Hara, because obvious reasons. I dressed up to match her booth so this was bound to happen. I cannot stress enough how she’s like my favourite person ever?? I didn’t buy anything from her on day one and she was the first queen I saw who didn’t require you to buy something first. (Don’t worry, I more than made up for this on day two.) I gave her a bag of cookies that I baked but her husband ate them all. Dammit Mikhael, stop eating everything I give Phi Phi! (Unless Phi lied to con me out of more cookies, which I’m okay with too.) The cookies I made I designated to give to Phi, Jiggly, and my good friend CoCo De’Ball, and the rest I was going to give out at random but they all ended up going to Phi Phi on day two somehow.

Wandered around, I think my friend and I split up for a bit at some point to do our own thing. Found CoCo De’Ball and her bf took photos that I still need to get my hands on. Chatted with her for a while, then wandered some more. Walked by Ginger Minj’s booth and took a photo from outside in the passing (cause you can do that). Also took one of Shangela cause I had a feeling I wouldn’t end up meeting her anyway. Ran into some New York girls I know by the bathroom lines. Ran into Biblegirl and took pics with her.

The only panel I went to all weekend was the one where Ginger did Lactacia’s makeup. I met up with @maladymesser​ there! :) So cool. At the end of the panel, Ginger asked Lactacia to be her flower girl because she and CJ were going to get married right there and then. Michelle Visage married them right there at DragCon??? I think we were all DYING.

After the panel we split up again and I wandered around and wound up going back to Coco’s booth. Ran into some girls I hang out with at the bar regularly there and we all walked around with CoCo for a bit. I saw someone dressed AS A BUG WITH SIX LEGS, STILETTOS ON ALL OF THEM, CRAWLING ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR!!!!!!! WHAT THE WHAT! That might have been the best thing????? Like???

Ahem… anyway. I ran into Jade Jolie’s booth. Super easy photo op. Then I found Ivy Winters and her line was also pretty short at the time (I think there were two lines or something?) While waiting for her I saw Terra Hyman roll by on roller skates (genius) in a Pokeball dress and I stopped her cause c’mon, Pokemon! I didn’t actually realize it was her right away until she told me to add her Instagram. She’s my new friend tbh, we just bonded, okay? I shared my Starbucks with her on day two, and that means friends for life in my book.

Anyway… back to the Ivy line, cause I was still in line for that. While waiting, Manila runs up to the booth to take pictures with Ivy. (Manila and Raja’s line is like 5 hours long, so hey! Cool!)

The last two I believe we saw on day one were Vivacious and Tammie Brown. Vivacious was one of my favourite experiences of the day. Took photos with an Ornacia on our heads. Vivacious was the nicest person ever and was really concerned about my lacefront wig when taking Ornacia off (not very Ornacia-friendly). I told her it’s fine and that I can put it back on but she was not having it and said that no one’s wig was coming off at drag con. Wow. Somehow very touching that she cared so much. And it was just a wonderful experience overall, and I recommend for everyone to meet Vivacious. My friend went to another panel at six, but I decided to go home because I literally got zero sleep the night before (not even exaggerating).

Day Two:

My best friends all came out on this day and it was just an overall blast. My game plan was to hop right onto the Detox line upon entering and get the long wait out of the way. (I know, I said I didn’t want to do any long lines, but Detox is my exception.) Our group split up because two of my friends had to go to a panel. (They did end up going to Detox later, but more on that later.)

Detox has the best merch, so I’m okay with her $20 minimum purchase. She has a lot to choose from and I wouldn’t mind having most of her things. We got in for Detox, took our pics. I got to kiss her for a pic and that already made my day!! (Plus my friend got it on film for me! Exciting!)

We split up and I went (surprise surprise) to see Phi Phi again. The panel friends were just finishing at the panel so they joined me on Phi Phi’s line. :) I chatted with her husband while on line about the dogs situation, bought merch cause I like supporting her, and then met with Phi. My friend caught this interaction on video and I died a little when I played it back at home. Took some family portraits–I mean, fan photos, but c’mon… Let my friends go and then took a group shot together. (Don’t even remember who has that photo tbh.) I probably hog up too much of her time and people probably hate me for it on the line, but too bad, I love her and she claims to love me so I’ll have my moment.

(Let’s be real, I bought my Drag Con tickets after she personally convinced me to go and the thought at the forefront of my mind was always that I’ll get to see Phi Phi there.)

After that we split up again and I wandered around. Saw Dida Ritz. I ran into Terra Hyman again (about 50 times tbh, I swear she’s everywhere and I’m A-okay with that) and she recognized me from the day before so I’m officially her bitch. (Not really, but I’m okay with thinking that.) Later saw Laila McQueen. We took a quick Starbucks break and then went to wait for Pandora to return from her break. (Terra’s booth was right there next to Pandora’s so ended up sharing my drink with her and that’s how that happened.)

All five of us were in one place for the first (and only) time for Pandora. Pandora was super sweet and we all had a blast with her. She’s my best friend’s fave so I’m really happy this worked out. We took a huge group photo together and everyone was really friendly and not rushing us. After that I went with the other half of my friends to see Phi Phi (those who hadn’t gone yet) and that was my excuse to go twice. (Please, I would’ve done it anyway!)

Wandered around and found Stacy Layne Matthews in the passing, observed Milk’s booth from the outside (amazing booth but didn’t want to do any more lines), and then found Joslyn Fox.

After that I just got really lucky???? Because I got to see Detox a second time without having to wait out the line because my friends who didn’t see her yet went and I joined them when they were practically done. I actually originally intended to just chat with them while they waited, even told the person coordinating the line that I wasn’t on it, but then somehow got ushered into it with my friends and when I asked if it was alright to go in with them, they said yes. Like ????? Wow. Okay. Cool. I felt kind of bad for the people behind us cause they probably hated my guts for it? But it wasn’t like I went in there alone. So… yeah. I saw Detox again. He remembered me from earlier. Super sweet. The person taking pictures did an interesting job because there’s no normal pics of us and instead it just looks like we were making out the entire time (we weren’t! They were just cheek kisses and that’s practically all he captured, from a very convincing angle). Oh, and Detox signed the shirt that I got. We took a really cute group photo around Detox’s tub and then left. (Seriously, I started and ended my day with Detox. What could be better?)

—

Anyway, 10/10 recommend. I had the regular pass. I’m sure VIP had its perks but it didn’t really interest me personally, especially with the price. (Even if it had been cheaper, I probably wouldn’t have gotten it.)

#drag con #Anonymous #answered #I didn't have any food breaks #besides the starbucks run