#thoughts?? because i am so close to deleting this draft

[nkogneatho]

jjk nation, does higuruma like breeding??

#thoughts?? because i am so close to deleting this draft #pasi.txt #tw.breeding

[purerehua]

사랑이 간질간질!

- what if the members of jebiwon were your first kiss?

pairing ⇆ zb1 hyung line x reader

genre ⇆ fluff ; romance ; first kisses ; bulleted scenarios

cw ⇆ slight shy and insecure reader. let me know if i missed a warning!

𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪. sung hanbin . . .

he!!!

you two had been dating a while and hanbin was so inlove. of course he's expectedly pretty clingy, always finding ways to touch you and keep your close

holding your hand suddenly just to watch your eyes widen slightly in surprise before watching the smile grace your lips

he can't stop thinking about how kissable they look.

he first tried to initiate a kiss when you two were at his place after you offered him a day off from being a whole full time mother of eight. cuddled and cozy with legally blonde (which was his suggestion) playing on your laptop.

hanbin had gone quiet, so naturally you looked to his form beside you, and the bastard was looking at you with the most lovestruck eyes ever you could die.

you caught the moment his eyelids drooped and his irises shifted to the lower half of your face, right on your lips. he leaned in an inch, and at the same time you turned back to the movie and pretended not to notice.

don't worry! he pretended not to notice too, until it got to the point where you quite literally swerved him at every possible moment he tried to kiss you. he started getting worried about possibly making you uncomfortable or even worse, upset.

he decided to bring it up when you were out on a date. you guys were at a book store and he basically followed you around as you stacked up on books. you picked up a copy of jane eyre just as you heard hanbin drop the bomb.

as soon as you admitted to him that you didn't kiss him because you were conscious of your lack of experience, his expression softened in both endearment and relief. he was internally thanking every god out there, including lady gaga.

he immediately reassured you that it didn't matter to him, and that he just wants to be able to show his affection!!

after that you felt reassured and you guys are all sweet and kissy now 🙈

𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪. kim jiwoong

thinking about kim jiwoong as a boyfriend makes me swoon guys i cannot

i feel like he's the type to go in for the first kiss in your relationship pretty early on

it's the husband in him guys idk!!

you sent a text to jiwoong, expressing your oh so loneliness and how'd you die if you didn't soak up his presence in exactly twenty minutes

so he invited you over for dinner 😋

you ended up arriving earlier than expected since there was barely any traffic and so jiwoong was still cooking when you got there

he let you in before focusing back on making dinner, as you found a seat on a nearby counter across from him to watch him cook.

he put the cover on the pan, letting whatever he was preparing cook before making his way over to you. he stood in between your legs, his arms planted on either side of your thighs as he smiled at you while keeping eye contact.

he leaned in, and his eyelids shut. just as he was about to touch his lip to yours, he felt a finger place itself horizontally on his and he opened his eyes to find you seperating your lips from his with your finger.

you shyly nudged him backwards with the finger, before shyly whispering that you didn't know how to kiss.

he squeezed his eyes shut at your admission, smiling and almost giggling at how cute you were.

"it's okay, i don't mind sweetheart." you smiled at him sweetly, leaning back in with more confidence this time, letting him lead your lips into a dance with his.

LET HIM COOK 🔥🔥

𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪. zhang hao

i am NOT gonna lie i almost rage deleted this draft bc tumblr deleted the first part of my zhang hao section 2 times... this is my third time re-writing this section.

anyway, hao is clueless!! he will forreal kiss you without a second thought cause he's naturally affectionate like that

you were backstage, the roaring of the audience dulling your ability to hear the music coming from the surrounding speakers. you enthusiastically synced up with the fanchant, rocking back and forth to the rhythm.

you couldn't help but feel your heart squeeze in admiration of the love the fans had for the group, you were glad how much people were seeing your boyfriend's raw talent and hard work.

you think so for the other members too ofc 🤞🤞

soon it came to an end, and as the members made their way backstage you greeted each one of them politely until you finally caught the man you've been waiting on.

you guys locked eyes and he immediately broke out into a smile, jogging over to you and engulfing you in an embrace. you felt his arms squeeze around your ribs and even though you couldn't breathe you could not find it in yourself to care when you were squeezing him just as hard.

hao pulled back, keeping his fingers grazing lightly on the sides of your waist. the sides of his mouth were upturned slightly and his head tilted a little to your left. what a cutie hihihi

suddenly, you could hear the manager calling for zhang hao and he sighed in reluctance. he pulled back from you and his eyes darted between the general direction of his manager and you.

"y/n, i'll be back okay?" he hastily went back in for a quick hug, before placing a kiss square on your lips.

and before you could even say anything he ran off to do whatever his manager needed of him, and you just had to stand there in shock.

your fingers unconsciously came up to lightly press on your bottom lip, still recovering from the innocent kiss.

you found him again soon after, and ended up mentioning to him that he stole your first kiss and he was like : o woah. he does not regret anything.

𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪. seok matthew

matthew brave for posting those recent photos on twitter lmao that man doesnt know i'm crazy 😹😹

jk okay FIRST KISS WITH MATTHEW!!

you mentioned something about learning to dance, so matthew being the helpful boyfriend he is offered to teach you snippets of the in bloom choreo

you felt excited, to be spending more time with matthew and to also be getting some excercise in, a win win!!

you started off with the chorus, since you already had an outline of the movements of it in your head from watching every single tiktok they posted with the song, what can you say you're a dedicated partner!!

he began to lead you, using counts to help you with the flow and memorization. every once in a while he'd pause to help you with a move you had trouble with

he was so smiley and sweet, and you couldn't help but have his high spirits rub off on you and soon you cheeks hurt from laughs and grins you shared.

you were having a particularly hard time with the highlight of the chorus, since it went pretty fast and you did not have the agility to pull it off.

but you were determined! and matthew was an ever so patient teacher and so he demonstrated as many times as you asked, but for some reason you really could not pin it down.

so he tried a different approach. he moved behind you, first telling you to relax your arms a bit. his hands came to rest on your elbows to guide your arms slowly and providing an alternative way to hit the beat on time.

but there was absolutely no chance of you focusing when you could feel his chest pressed against your back, his chin almost resting on your shoulder. he was just too close and you couldn't get it together.

you made the stupid mistake of turning your head and your lips accidentally collided with his clumsily before you winced in pain at the feeling of your teeth clashing.

he stumbled back from the collision and held his fingers up to his lips to make sure they weren't bleeding. once he confirmed he was fine, he went back to you to make sure you were fine.

you couldn't help but laugh at how sincere and worried he looked, and by that matthew realized you were fine and began to join in on your laughter.

"sooo... want a do over?"

𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪. kim taerae

he's so edible i'll eat him

taerae had texted you stating that he wanted to take you on a picnic date and you of course agreed on one condition and one only.

you wanted him to bring his guitar, hehe.

and he complied! he lives to please you after all.

so here you two were, sitting on small cushions atop a red checkered blanket with a basket of sweets and snacks for your choosing.

the weather was hitting just right and the wind was blowing just enough to keep shift taerae's bangs to the side ever so often, something that for some reason you found so cute.

you two were leaning against each other, back to back as he strummed his guitar mindlessly humming a song and you simply wrapped your arms around your knees taking in the serenity of the moment.

he stopped strumming, and you could hear the strings sing as he set the guitar down suddenly.

you leaned off his back, turning your body to peek at him curiously. you gave him a tap on his cheek where his dimple was.

he in turn also moved to face you, catching the hand you had on his cheek in his and turning it over to kiss the knuckles.

all you could do was stare, because you certainly couldn't speak when the butterflies in your belly made you want to puke.

you ended up blurting out a mumbled "can i kiss you?" and your free hand flew to your mouth at your own brazenness.

you fumbled over your words to get an apology out, but amidst it all taerae let out an amused huff at your stuttering, and immediately you rolled your eyes.

you could already feel the teasing about to start and before you could complain, taerae spoke.

"yes, please do."

mwa mwa happy ending

a/n: this took me a week to finish and i only finished it bc of outside motivation ‼️ maknae version coming eventually idk when

#zb1 #zerobaseone #kim taerae #zb1 x reader #kim gyuvin #zhang hao #han yujin #kim jiwoong #park gunwook #shen ricky #seok matthew #sung hanbin #zb1 imagines #kim taerae x reader #taerae x reader #sung hanbin x reader #hanbin x reader #kim jiwoong x reader #jiwoong x reader #zhang hao x reader #hao x reader #seok matthew x reader #matthew x reader #zb1 oneshots #zerobaseone fanfics #fluff #zb1 fluff

[peachhcs]

The 5 times Neteyam loved you and the 1 time he said it.

Neteyam x fem!reader

Word count: 15.6k 😳

Summary: pretty self explanatory I think, but the 5 times Neteyam loved you and the 1 time he finally said it 😌

Warnings: near character death, talk of absent parents, gun & knife violence, blood

ITS FINALLY HERE!! THE LONG AWAITED 15k+ fic I took like a week to write 😭 This is cliche but I haven’t seen anyone else do this prompt before. I listened to the people and put this into one large fic, so I hope y’all like it!! The ending is..a little rocky, but it’s what you get after forcing myself to finish this. There is a prologue in this & I wasn’t originally going to include it, but I liked it too much to delete it from the story LOL

If you guys want a Lo’ak version, I have one in the drafts, but idk if that is something y’all want. My requests for fic ideas are open, so send some in if y’all want! Thanks for all the love!! (ps, not quite proof read so if there’s some spelling or grammatical errors my apologies)

MASTERLIST

PROLOGUE.

It was no doubt that you were an extreme pleaser. Growing up as the eldest sibling to your parent’s five, it was your job to stay in line. Set the example. Follow the rules. Be the golden child. It was the whole reason why you and Neteyam bonded so quickly when you met.

He knew how it felt to be the perfect one. You both carried the same burden, the same pressure, the same expectations set by your parents. All you wanted was to please them and get the praise you desperately craved.

You saw Neteyam for a few weeks now. It started one day in the woods when you were out exploring. Foana and Ni`awtu insisted going out into the forest. You knew being the eldest that you couldn’t possibly leave them to their own devices, so you reluctantly followed after them.

That same afternoon, the Sully kids decided embarking on their own expedition. The clan was so large and spread out in nearly every part of the forest that you hardly knew every single person. You knew of the Sully children and their great father Jake, the Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto, however you did not know them.

Everything changed for you and your siblings that afternoon when Foana wandered off. You had no idea that a certain Sully boy would change the entire trajectory of your life that day.

You were distracted with admiring the beautiful flora that you didn’t even realize your younger sister disappeared. A tiny tug on your tail made you spin around, hissing at Ni`awtu standing shyly behind you.

“Ni, what do you want?” You answered annoyed that she interrupted your gazing. Seeing her little worried features made you scrap any annoyance you ever possessed in the first place.

“It is Foana. I do not know where she went.” The fear laced through the young girl’s voice. Your eyes shot up, now realizing that the youngest sibling was no longer around the two of you.

To make matters even worse, you only brought your knife with you expecting a quick and short trip.

“Ni`awtu, you were supposed to be watching her at all times. Argh.” You pushed past her, beginning to sniff out any possible trails Foana may wandered off on.

“I am sorry, sister. I swear, I thought she was right behind me.” The familiar wobble of Ni’s voice and her trembling hands told you she was close to tears. Sighing, you collected her into your arms.

“Do not worry, it is not your fault. We will find her.” Being the eldest meant you could not be mad at your little siblings for long. You also could not let them take the blame for things—even if it was their fault at times. That was just what came with growing up as the eldest. You took nearly all the blame.

The two of you walked the tree lines, scanning every possible inch for that little rascal. She hardly knew the forest like you, so she couldn’t have been too far. If anything, she was probably cowering underneath a leaf or behind a tree because she did not know where she was anymore.

Your ears perked up when you heard voices ahead. In a quick maneuver, you shoved your sister behind you incase it was a threat. Not many from your clan ventured this far out into the forest by the old shack. It was forbidden by the Olo’eyktan—so whoever was ahead couldn’t possibly be Na’vi.

There was a tiny laugh, though. It caught you off guard and your defenses fell for just a moment. There came another laugh, louder and one you recognized this time.

“Foana.” You muttered and ran ahead through the brush.

When you came through clearing, you grew surprised seeing your little sister playing around with another younger Na’vi girl.

“Y/N, look! I made a friend!” Little Foana sensed your presence and motioned towards the other little girl. She smiled up at you with a toothy grin.

“Foana, what in Eywa are you doing all the way out here? You do not wander away from me or your sister.” Your mom voice came out, loud and booming. The little one looked down in shame realizing she was in trouble.

“I am sorry, sister. I did not mean to. I just..I saw a flying lizard and had to follow it. I found her on the way.” She stuck out a thumb at other girl. Another sigh escaped your lips knowing she must’ve also strayed off her path and probably had people looking for her as well.

“Tuk! There you are! Why did you wander off?” A new voice entered the scene. She raced past you, scooping up the girl in her arms.

“Sorry, Kiri. I found a friend, though.” Tuk pointed at your sister who gave a similar toothy grin and a wave.

“It is okay, sister. Just make sure you tell someone next time, okay? Neteyam, I found her, it is okay.” You didn’t realized there was entire group behind you now. Two boys, no three boys, stood behind you. Two Na’vi and the singular human boy you knew lived around here.

“Tuk, I told you to keep up with us.” The shorter Na’vi boy went past you to ruffle up her little braids.

You hadn’t moved a single muscle since their sudden arrival. You were too awestruck in the way they comforted the girl. Neither of them showed any signs of anger or annoyance that she wandered off. It was so unfamiliar to you—all of that sincerity and comfort to one another.

“Oh, please excuse us. I am so sorry. I am Kiri. This is Tuk, Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Spider behind you.” The girl that came in first finally acknowledged your presence with a warm smile as she introduced what must’ve been her siblings.

“Oh, no need for apologies. I am Y/N. This is Ni`awtu and Foana.” You did a bow of greeting which your sisters quickly followed after.

“It seems as though our sisters have befriended one another. We were so worried when we realized she had wandered off.” Kiri laughed and pinched Tuk’s little nose. You smiled at the affection.

“Yes, us too. I was glad I found them both unharmed.” You pulled your sisters closer, trying to show a tiny bit of affection like the other siblings displayed.

“Let’s just be glad we didn’t need to call dad in. He would have beaten our asses if we told him we lost Tuk.” Lo’ak laughed and then his older brother smacked him on the head. The unfamiliar terms and use of some English words intrigued you. Not many Na’vi knew English besides the Olo’eyktan—obviously being from the sky.

You began putting two and two together. The five fingers of Lo’ak and Kiri. Lo’ak’s use of English phrases you didn’t quite understand. These were the Sully children. The Olo’eyktan’s kids.

“Oh my Eywa, I am sorry. You are children of the Olo’eyktan. It is a pleasure to meet you.” You rushed out, flushed you had not picked up on it beforehand. You bowed again, urging your sisters to do the same.

“Woah, we’ve never been greeted like that before.” Lo’ak snickered and the older boy hit his head again.

“Lo’ak, stop it. Do not apologize. We are Omatikaya as much as you are. It is really our father who gets bowed to.” The older one spoke to you in a kind tone that had your face heating up in a way it had never done before.

“Well, it is still a great pleasure to meet all of you.” He grinned at you. There was something igniting inside of you just looking at his smile. Something you had never felt before.

“Can Foana and I have a playdate sometime?” Tuk spoke to you, her little voice adorable as ever. However, you were unfamiliar with the term she used.

“Playdate means like a hang out.” Kiri must’ve seen your confusion. You quickly nodded.

“Of course, anytime as long as neither of you wander off again.” You joked some, smiling down at your little sister. She grinned excitedly.

“Perfect, you may bring her over anytime or we can bring Tuk over. She has been so excited to start making new friends ever since our parents allowed her to go out more.” Kiri was so soft spoken and so gentle. Her presence alone just made you feel so warm and welcomed.

“You could bring your other siblings, too. You have two others, right?” Lo’ak spoke up more. You quickly nodded, a bit surprised he even knew that. It wasn’t like your family was well known like they were.

“Tsanten and Naria.” You did not miss the way Lo’ak’s face blushed at the mention of Naria.

“Well, bring them all and even yourself, we love the company.” Kiri beamed and you couldn’t help but smile yourself.

You hardly received invitations out often. You were always busy taking care of your siblings, cleaning up, staying in, following your parents’ orders. It didn’t leave much room for fun and going out.

Neteyam was still glancing in your direction. He just couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from your pretty hair flowing loosely down your back, or the way your eyes lit up when Kiri extended the invitation to you and the rest of your siblings.

He knew of your family through passing here and there. You were the eldest, just like him, yet he never saw you out much. Either you were hidden away in your tent, or out hunting. He knew you were a hunter because Beyral spoke of your name often.

You intrigued him. He liked the way the confusion floated over your face when Lo’ak or Tuk used phrases you didn’t understand. He liked the protective nature you held over every single one of your siblings—similar to him. How you held them close to you. He wanted to know more about you. He wanted to make you smile again because it sent an unfamiliar feeling of butterflies in his stomach that he enjoyed.

He wanted more of you. If only the two of you knew what your future held.

ONE.

Neteyam was protective over everything in his life—his parents, his siblings, and now you. Being the eldest, especially to the Olo’eyktan, it was his job becoming the protector when his father wasn’t there.

He fought off anyone who poked fun at Lo’ak or Kiri for having five fingers. He made sure someone was with Tuk at all times when she went out to the forest. He helped his mother anytime she asked whether it was with food or his siblings.

There was no denying how similar the two of you were. It was what drew him to you. You held the same protective nature as him. You took care of your siblings the same way he did. You understood the burdens he carried because you held them high on your shoulders as well.

It was when the two of you were together that he could let go of everything, even if it was just for a little bit. When the day was done and everyone was sound asleep for the night, tucked safely into their tents was when the two of you snuck out to spend time together.

It was more of a private relationship for the time being. Being the next Olo’eyktan in line, Neteyam knew that if he told people he was seeing someone it would spread like wildfire across the village. People would start talking and they probably wouldn’t ever leave you alone once the word was out. He wasn’t sure if you wanted that on top of everything else and if he was being honest, he wanted you to himself just a little while longer.

His feet worked quickly jumping from tree branch to tree branch. The luminescent forest was his guiding light through the night and he took one final swing to his destination. When he got his footing, there you were right where you met almost every night.

Your back was slumped against the tree and you hadn’t noticed him yet, instead, your gaze was focused on the glimmering stars above. Every time, Neteyam was so in awe of you. He knew how stressed you were throughout the day having to do this and that, so seeing you here waiting for him in the most relaxed state gave him a sense of pride.

“Oh, hi.” You finally noticed his looming presence. The boy grinned, walking towards you.

“Hi, sorry I am late. I had to make sure Tuk was truly asleep for the night.” The sound of your laugh made his heart swell in his chest. He snuggled himself in beside you with his head resting on your stomach.

When you put your hands across his back, all of his muscles finally relaxed. The stress slowly dissipated and everything felt right being in your arms. During the day, he was a leader who held no fear. At night when he was with you like this, none of that mattered. He didn’t have to put on the facade for you.

“She never falls asleep on time. I think she is afraid she will miss out on something. Foana is the same way.” He hummed when he felt your other hand begin brushing through his braids.

“That explains why she is always following Lo’ak and Kiri around.” Your stomach rumbled with laughter again and the vibrations were so calming to Neteyam. If he could, he would have your laugh on repeat.

“Your training, how did that go today?” Another thing Neteyam adored about you was how you never failed to ask him about his day. Any detail he told you, you remembered and talked about it the next night. He had never been listened to like that before. It made everything inside of him feel warm and appreciated like he had a purpose.

“It was okay. I think dad is getting mad at me because I can not seem to understand things as fast as he wants me to.” Neteyam sat himself up so he could look at you properly. His back fell against the tree in the same way yours did, still keeping your bodies close.

“You will get it, do not worry. It takes time learning all the ways of the Olo’eyktan. Your father probably struggled as much as you did once.” You clutched his bicep to give it a comforting squeeze. Neteyam’s gaze fell away to the sky, though. His mind beginning to turn elsewhere.

“Yes, but he was already strong when he fell into the position. He was an adult already. I am merely a teenager still.” He heard you scoff beside him.

“You are just as strong, Neteyam. Do not tell yourself you are not. You are learning and your father just wants what is best for you.” You always knew what to say to him to make him feel better. His gaze finally fell back to you, your gentle gaze making his face blush.

“I think my parents are catching up to the fact that I may be seeing someone.” You giggled, looking away as you changed subjects. Neteyam, however, stiffened up at your words.

“What do you say?”

“Well, I just laugh it off and say I am not. They do not ask much more after that.” He could not read your expression because you weren’t looking at him. He didn’t know if you were upset you had to deny it or something entirely different.

He certainly wished he didn’t have to be so private about his personal life, but he was afraid his mother wound disapprove—not that there was anything to disapprove of you. It was mostly the others in the clan. People would start talking. They would start seeking you out. You would have to start learning the ways of Tsahik, maybe (Hopefully in his mind). He wanted to make sure you were completely comfortable to be put into such a spotlight like he was before anything was really said about the two of you.

“Neteyam? Are you alright?” Your voice snapped him from his thoughts. You were already looking at him when he met your pretty golden eyes.

“Yes, sorry. I was lost in thought.” He gave you a gentle smile to reassure you.

“About what?” You loved to pick his brain though. His expression twisted and he found the need to place his arm around you and pull you closer towards him. Your head fell absently against his chest.

“It is not important.” He had this thing where he would sometimes hide his emotions from you. He did not want to burden you with this one right now.

“I feel like it is, though. I will not make you tell me, but you can if you want to.” Another feature he absolutely adored about you. You never pried, but made it known that he could tell you anything. He squeezed you a tiny bit closer as if there was anymore space left between you two.

“Are-are you..upset that our relationship is not..for the entire clan to know?” He blurted and then avoided your gaze so he wouldn’t see your expression.

“No, not necessarily. I like the privacy.” You answered honestly, but Neteyam wasn’t sure if he believed it yet or not.

“Are you lying?” You sat up more to look at him. He was gnawing at his lip, worried that you were lying.

If he could give you the world, he would. He wanted to give you everything. He wanted to show you off and take you on dates that weren’t in the dark. He wanted to hold your hand and kiss you in front of people so they knew you were his. However, he could not do any of that in fear that someone would be mean to you or say rude things. The entire clan was kind, but there were few who said things when they did not approve. Neteyam only knew because he heard the things people said about his father when he became Olo’eyktan.

He is demon blood. How would he know how to lead a clan?

Can we really trust him with our people?

What does she see in him?

Those children, they are demon blood. Five fingers.

They are not true Na’vi.

He could only imagine the things they could say when he announced his possible chosen woman. He wanted to keep you out of that. He wanted to protect you from it as much as he could.

“No, I am not lying. Why would I lie?” You gave a small chuckle; however, Neteyam was still not eased.

“Right, sorry. You would not lie about that.” He looked down, embarrassed he even thought you would lie to him. A gentle hand cupped his face and directed his attention back to you.

“What is going on in that head of yours? Tell me, it seems to be bothering you.” You observed his entire face and Neteyam was flushing under your intense stare.

He took your hands in his, squeezing gently and blowing out a long breath.

“I want to give you the world, but I can not. I only do not tell people about our relationship because I am afraid they will say things we do not like. I do not want them to hurt you and say things like they do about my father and mother. That is the only reason I have kept us from them. Not because I am embarrassed or anything of you.” Neteyam spilled his entire heart to you right then and there. He watched your face for a reaction and subconsciously prepared for a negative one.

Instead, you just grinned and stroked his hand with your thumb.

“I did not think you were embarrassed of me. I know you have a lot on your mind all the time. You do not need to explain yourself to me. I do not mind keeping our relationship private.” Your head tilted to the side, still grinning.

“I just want to make sure you are completely ready to have every eye on our relationship when and if we tell people. It is a lot of pressure and people will be talking. I do not want to just push you into that if you are not ready.” Neteyam continued.

“I am ready whenever you are ready. You worry too much about me.” You laughed and Neteyam’s head fell against your chest. You cradled the back of his head with a smile.

“So you are sure you are ready to handle it? You can tell me no.” He looked back up at you, scanning your face for any possible secret resentment you weren’t telling him.

“You forget I have thick skin. I grew up with parents who were perfecting my every move. If I can take them, I think I can handle being your girlfriend in public.”

It was then that Neteyam knew you were it for him. You held no fear in your eyes that he seemed to be harboring deep down in his depths. You were ready to be by his side under any circumstance.

He brought your face into his hands so he could pull you forward for a kiss. It was everything he could not say and everything he wanted you to know. The night was young and so were you two in that moment.

TWO.

Tonight was a big night as Neteyam ran around the hut like some mad person. He was shoving Tuk’s toys away, cleaning every single space, forcing his family to be on their best behavior—especially Lo’ak.

You were joining his family for dinner so they could properly meet you. Despite all of his siblings already knowing you, it was his parents who did not have much knowledge about you. It was mostly just name in passing, but one they never asked much about.

When Neteyam told his parents he was even seeing someone in the first place, their reactions were pretty priceless.

“Hey, mom, dad?” The eldest Sully walked into their hut while his parents worked away at their own separate projects. They turned his way at the sound of his voice.

“Yes, what it is ma son?” Neytiri questioned. The boy was flushed and picking at his fingers, unsure of how to even approach the subject.

It wasn’t that his parents were against him dating around, but he had never shown much interest beforehand, so he wasn’t sure how they were going to react now.

“I..I um-well, you see, I met this girl a few weeks ago. She is very kind, strong, intelligent, a hunter. I-I would like you to meet her one night over a dinner, maybe?” He carefully watched for their reactions.

His mother, wide-eyed, looked over at her husband. They exchanged a few glances, probably speaking with their eyes, but Neteyam had no idea what they were silently saying. He worried it was bad things.

“Oh! Yes, yes, of course. We would love to meet this girl. Who is she? Is she Omatikaya? Does she live around here?” His mother stood, embracing him while asking the hundred questions she had. His father sat back with a tiny, proud smile on his lips.

“Her name is Y/n. She is just a few huts down. She is a great hunter and warrior. Beyral speaks of her sometimes.” Neteyam explained your background as best as he could. Both of his parents were beaming widely.

“Yes, I have heard that name a few times before. She sounds wonderful, I am so excited to meet her. I had no idea you were seeing someone.” Neytiri was the most enthusiastic for her eldest. He had nearly reached all of his requirements that would make him one of the People and it was only a matter of time before he would begin looking for a future mate.

Tuk went on all day about her excitement that you would be joining them tonight. Neytiri worked all day preparing a great meal with the help of Kiri.

“Bro, I can’t believe you never told us about dating around with Y/n.” Lo’ak snickered as he helped with some of the cleaning. He earned a slap on his head for that comment.

“Well, it was not much of your business, was it?” Neteyam retorted and the younger brother only shrugged.

“I knew you were sneaking out late at night. I could just never have proof.” Another snicker and another slap. Lo’ak finally let up on his annoying teasing.

“Tuk!!” A little scream broke the boys from their conversation. Nearly everyone in the hut looked over to see a little Na’vi girl run in. Tuk was smiling widely, bringing her friend in for a hug.

“Foana! What did I say?—“ Suddenly, you appeared, grabbing at your youngest sister. Neteyam noticed your other three siblings just behind you. You met his eyes before darting them over to his parents who were glancing your way. Your entire face flushed.

“I am so sorry. Foana begged me to bring her to say hello to Tuk and then..well, I could not leave everyone else out.” You quickly explained yourself in small embarrassment. Neteyam rushed to greet you.

“Tsanten, Naria, what’s up?” Lo’ak happily got up to greet your other siblings. Ni`awtu stood shyly behind your back.

“I am so sorry for them.” You whispered to Neteyam when he was close enough. He only grinned.

“Do not apologize.” He kissed your cheek and then stepped aside for his mother who approached.

“It is nice to finally meet you, Y/n. I have heard many things.” Neteyam watched the exchange, still a tiny bit nervous for his parents approval of you. You smiled, nerves also evident behind your eyes.

“It is so nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Sully. I have heard so many things about you.” You bowed your head using the I see you gesture.

“Please, call me Neytiri. It is so nice to meet all of your siblings, as well.” She grinned again at the other little kids talking with her own children.

“Oh, thank you. They will not be staying, they just begged me to bring them to say hello.” You rushed out, eyeing each one of them to make sure they were being well-behaved in the home of the Olo’eyktan.

“Oh please, we have so much food. They can stay.” Your eyes shot to Neteyam. He only gave you a small shrug, ultimately it being your decision. He figured it would be easier to get your siblings’ introductions out of the way now too.

“Oh, no, you do not have to do that.” You shook your head, but Neytiri was persistent.

“It is no trouble. I insist.” She gently touched your arm. Neteyam could tell you were not used to such hospitality. He also touched your arm and you glanced his way. He nodded, saying if his mother thought it was okay, then it was okay for them to stay.

If anything, it would hopefully keep Lo’ak out of trouble or saying things he shouldn’t if he had other people to talk to that he liked. That was Neteyam’s biggest concern of the night, really.

“Okay, thank you, really.” You thanked Neytiri by bowing your head once more. She grinned and then walked away.

Jake came next to greet you. Neteyam knew you were worrying about him more than anything. He was Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto after all and it was the most important to get his approval.

“Hello, Y/n. I am glad to finally meet you.” You bowed to him which he did the same back.

“It is a pleasure to meet you.” Neteyam watched as you urged your siblings to bow before his father as well. They listened to you, doing as told.

You held such power over the little ones, but not in a bad way. Neteyam wondered if they listened to you more than your own parents. You had told him many stories of you becoming the main parent for your siblings growing up. Your parents were very absent. They were always on hunting trips, so it often left you caring for them. The eldest Sully could tell it wore you down—slumped shoulders, tired eyes, callouses on each of your hands, cuts, and bruises.

“Please, please, come in. Make yourselves at home. Our hut is your hut.” Jake ushered all of you in further. You smiled at him, not quite understanding the phrase, but you knew it was a kind one by his tone and expression.

“Y/n! Y/n! Guess what I did this week?” Tuk grabbed at your arm. You smiled down at her and crouched to her eye level.

“What did the mighty Tuk do this week?” Neteyam smiled at the way you ruffled up her hair.

“I caught my very first fish!” The little girl jumped up and down in excitement.

“That is amazing, Tuk! I am so proud of you!” You squeezed her tightly.

“Tell her how big it was.” Neteyam encouraged. His little sister held out her arms wider than herself. Your eyes widened.

“No way. That is bigger than you!” She giggled in excitement.

“I know! Everyone was so excited for me.”

“I certainly hope they were. That is a great accomplishment little Tuk.” You stood and Neteyam beamed at you. He saw your face flush a bit.

“You know she adores you, right?” He reached up to push some of your hair away from your eyes. You were wearing it loose like usual and some of it was pinned back with little petals hooked into it.

You blushed again. Neteyam loved how he could always make you blush like that.

The night went on just the way Neteyam planned. His parents asked you and your siblings many questions which you all happily answered. Just by the smiles and exchanges, Neteyam knew his parents loved you already which relieved him. He was worried something would go wrong. Lo’ak even managed to keep his comments to a minimal and mostly because he didn’t want to look like some fool in front of Naria.

Later, after helping his mom clean up, Neteyam went looking for you. He stopped short when he saw you sitting with Tuk, Foana, and Ni`awtu. You were playing some game with some sticks with them. There was a large smile on your face as you laughed at what Tuk would say. Even your sister, Ni`awtu, was smiling despite how shy she came off as.

Neteyam felt a hand come around his back. His mother appeared next to him, also watching the scene unfold. The sun began to set and eclipse was near. The forest was illuminating around you four. It was the prettiest sight Neteyam had ever seen—you with his little sister playing her games she always made up.

“She is a wonderful woman, Neteyam.” He smiled, glancing his mother’s way for a moment.

“So you like her?”

“We love her. If you do decide one day, she will make a great mate.” A small wave of relief washed through the older boy. He was so glad his parents approved of you.

Now it was just a matter of telling the rest of the clan. He knew most of them would be as supportive as his parents, but there was always the handful that had something to say. Neteyam would do his best to protect you from those who would say things.

Although, for now he would just enjoy the scene in front of him. He wanted to keep the warm feeling bubbling up in his chest for as long as possible. You were utterly perfect in his eyes.

“Neteyam! Come join us!” Tuk had noticed his presence. His mother squeezed his arm before letting him go. You made room for him to join the circle. The two of you exchanged a glance, knowing exactly what the other was saying.

You were definitely a keeper.

THREE.

Neteyam knew you were an excellent fighter. You were the best in the age group every time you went for trainings. He was always so in awe anytime he watched you skillfully use your bow and arrow to hit the targets on the ground from above. Or, your stealth as you dodged in and out of the trees. He knew he could never be as great of a fighter as you were.

However, with that also came the fear he held every time you left to go on missions. This one in particular was an especially dangerous one. His father appointed you to the head and it even shocked Neteyam a bit when he was told to hang back on this one but you were going.

You sat on the ground between his legs as he worked separate little braids into your hair for you. The only time you ever wore braids was for these missions or when you went hunting.

Neteyam did not want you to know he was worrying and playing every single worse case scenario in his head, so he kept quiet as his fingers worked quickly through your hair. However, his leg was bouncing right beside your head and that was hard for you to keep ignoring.

“Neteyam, are you alright?” You placed your hand over his knee. He realized it was bouncing and quickly stopped.

“Yes, I am fine.” You twisted your head around, pausing his braiding for a moment. The look on your face told him you didn’t believe him.

“Liar. What is wrong? Tell me.” You urged and Neteyam knew he couldn’t keep being quiet anymore.

“I am just worried is all. It always happens when you leave for missions like these.” He admitted, forcing a smile so you didn’t see all of his worry. You frowned a bit.

“You know you have nothing to worry about. I am a warrior. I always have been. When have I not come back from one of these?” Your tone was more of a “duh” tone. It didn’t ease Neteyam’s fear though.

“You never know what can happen, though.” He quickly make his defense. Instead of meeting your eyes, he just continued to work away at your hair.

“I suppose I do not, but you trust me, right? You trust your father. He would not send me into something dangerous.” Of course, Neteyam trusted both of you. It was the Sky People he had no trust in. He had seen them fight and the way they always had the upper hand with their crazy machine guns.

“Of course, but I am even not going. Is that not saying something?” He made a face and you were unsure what to say.

Neteyam finished off the last of your braids. The ends jingled together with the beads he added in. They were some of his own and he smiled at the fact that you two were going to match.

He turned you around and dipped his fingers into the bowl of paint beside his leg. You stayed still as he traced it around your face. He thought how jealous Lo’ak would be that you got to wear the war paint he didn’t on missions.

The two of you were silent. The feeling in the air changed ever since you didn’t know how to respond to Neteyam’s last statement.

You stood to look at yourself in the mirror when your face was done. The blue and yellow streaks went down your cheeks and around your eyes.

“Here, do not forget these.” Neteyam stood with your riding visor. He gently reached up to hook it around your ears.

You never flew with a riding visor, but then Neteyam made you one because he was worried about the wind drying out your eyes. You had happily accepted his very thoughtful gift and ever since then, you never rode without it.

“I am a warrior. I will make it back.” He felt comfort in the way you squeezed his arm. Your gaze was on him with a reassuring expression.

“I know you will. I just worry about you.” He cupped your face into his hands, bringing you towards him more.

“I have been doing this my whole life. I have my transmitter, too, so you will be able to listen in.” You placed the collar just above your necklaces and then hooked the earpiece into your ear. Neteyam remembered how thrilled you were when Jake gifted it you.

“We’re off in five minutes, everyone. Be ready!” Jake spoke through your ear. You glanced towards the opening where others headed out to their ikrans.

Neteyam brought your forehead against his. He closed his eyes, breathing you in and savoring every single detail about you just in case.

“Good luck. Be safe.” You smiled at his Earth phrases and brushed your hand along his cheek.

“I will see you soon.” He brought you in for one more kiss. His lips worked a bit rough like it was the last kiss he would give you. He was worrying that much.

You were the one to pull away, knowing you had to be out there very soon. He leaned into your touch when you kissed his cheek and then hurried out of his grasp. Neteyam hurried outside of your hut to watch you take off.

His dad took the lead as he dove off the cliff first. You were quick to follow, disappearing from his view almost immediately. Others in the clan who stayed behind clapped for the war party. Neteyam’s worry was only piling higher in his stomach, already anxiously awaiting your return.

—

Hours felt like days in his mind as he paced around his own hut. Tuk was in the corner playing with her toys and Kiri eyed on her older brother as he paced.

“Brother, you need to stop worrying so much. You know she will make it back. Y/n is very strong.” Kiri tried reassuring the anxious boy in front of her.

“I know, I know. This mission was a dangerous one, though. Dad did not even let Lo’ak and I go, yet he had Y/n go?” The logic still didn’t make much sense in Neteyam’s head. He wasn’t trying to discredit your abilities, but if you were going, he should’ve at least came along too.

“You have to remember that Y/n has been a warrior her whole life. Even when she was a kid. She was out hunting when she could walk. This is in her nature. Your father knows that and he knows she is a very useful asset to this mission.” His mother piped in from the other side of the hut. He didn’t even known she was listening to the conversation.

“Yeah, what mom said. She’s been fighting like this her whole life. She knows how to handle herself.” Kiri added on.

“Yeah, plus, she doesn’t always need you at her side and call.” Lo’ak had piped in now and Neteyam glared at him. Since when did his whole family become involved in this conversation.

“I am just trying to protect her.” He said in defense to what his younger brother said. Lo’ak just shrugged.

“Ma son, I know it is scary to not know what is happening, but we need to trust the Great Mother and everyone on that mission. They know what they are doing.” Neytiri squeezed Neteyam’s arm for comfort. The boy sighed, but nodded.

As if on cue, people started shouting outside of their hut. In the distance, ikran calls filled their ears. Neteyam instantly knew what that meant—the war party was returning. Everyone in the hut ran outside to greet them and check for any major injuries if any.

Jake’s ikran landed roughly atop the rocky cliff. You flew in not a moment later. The crowds were thick around the edge and it was hard to truly see what was going on. Being as tall as he was, Neteyam still could not see that well past the others trying to get a closer look.

He did not know where you were. You must have gotten down from your ikran, because it’s back was empty and there was no sign of you. Neteyam tried to push through some of the crowd, but it wasn’t much use because no one wanted to move.

“I heard it was bad. Many people were injured.”

“I can not believe he let that little girl go on such a dangerous mission.”

“This was one of their toughest missions yet.”

The words floated around his head as he heard people muttering to one another. He tried not to picture the worst for you. You had made it back, he knew that, but were you severely injured? Neteyam’s heart was practically beating a hole in his chest trying to find you.

Finally, he caught sight of some familiar braids and war paint near the edge of the crowd. He recognized Tsanten and Ni`awtu at your side hugging you.

“Y/n!” He finally was able to break out of the group. He hurried to you, joining in on your siblings’ group hug. He felt the way you clutched the back of his head with one hand and the other held onto his arm with a firm grip.

“Are you okay? Are you injured?” Neteyam pulled back to back to examine your face for any injuries.

Despite the minor cuts and scrapes, nothing looked too alarming to his knowledge. You had a pretty large gnash on your back, but it wasn’t bleeding out profusely or anything.

“No, I am not injured. Just scraped up.” You gave him a tiny smile. He was glad he got to see that again as he cupped your face and placed a quick peck onto your lips.

“Come on, I am sure Mo’at has medicine for these cuts.” You let Neteyam lead you away from the crowds and back to the huts. He sat you down on the ground and then disappeared to find his grandmother.

When he returned he had a handful of herbs, creams, oils, and bandages in his arms. You giggled at the sight.

“I did not think you were much of a healer.” He dropped everything at your side and then kneeled down to your level.

“Well my grandmother is the Tsahik after all. I happen to know one or two things.” Neteyam argued, his lips dancing with a tiny smile.

He gently worked to take your visor off and then wiped away the war paint. He knew you didn’t like to talk about the missions right away, so he enjoyed the comfortable silence between you two instead.

Neteyam’s hands were gentle as he rubbed the special herbs against your skin. You would occasionally hiss when it hurt a little bit more and he would mumble something about how he was almost done and you were doing so well.

He certainly wasn’t a healer like his grandmother or Kiri who had a special hand at medicine, but it meant a lot to both of you when he would heal your wounds for youor, when you would heal his after a long hunting day.

“Many, many people got hurt today.” You spoke after some silence. Neteyam hummed behind you.

“It was that bad?”

“Their machines are just so powerful. We are no match with our bows and arrows sometimes. They had to have known we were coming because they attacked back at us so harshly.” You shook your head some and Neteyam knew there was vivid images replaying in your mind.

“It is so hard to understand why they want us dead. If they were just a bit kinder then maybe there could be more peace worked out.” You continued on with your little rant, frustration becoming set in your body language. Your shoulders fell tense under the Sully boy’s hands.

“You know how hard they have tried with us. Someone always gets hurt. I suppose after all the failed efforts they have no other choice but violence, unfortunately.” Neteyam knew all about the schools his mother once attended in her earlier years. It seemed like the Sky People tried making an effort, but nothing ever held permanently.

“I know, it is just so frustrating. Tsanten and Naria are growing to that age where they will be old enough to go out on their own. I worry for them and what those demons could do to them.” A scowl sat on your face. Neteyam turned you around, cupping your face in his hands.

“I know how terrifying it can be. I worry for my siblings everyday, but you are very strong and you will be able to teach them well.” You smiled, but it didn’t stay for long as you casted your gaze away from him.

“I just wish I was not the one to always do it. My parents pay no attention to them anymore. They are always away. It should not be my job to teach my siblings every single life skill they will ever need.” You pushed yourself up from the ground, leaving Neteyam’s grasp.

He watched you wander to the entryway where you stared at the people moving about outside. Many were still tending to those who were wounded more worse than you.

Neteyam wasn’t a complete open book, but when he was with you, he felt comfortable enough to share the things bothering him the most. You, on the other hand, had a more harder time opening up to him. He knew you trusted him, but he couldn’t pull everything from you. He knew you parents were strict and absent people, always being away, which is why you held so much responsibility and burden. However, he didn’t know much more than that. You always closed it off.

Hearing what you were saying now, though, it was more than what you would usually say. Neteyam got up to join you at the entryway.

“You are right, it should not be your job, but unfortunately it is. You do a great job at teaching them and raising them.” His hand fell against your back. You leaned a tiny bit closer to him while your gaze was on Foana and Tuk a few feet away.

“I worry that they think I am too hard on them, but I am really just trying to help them survive on their own.” In that moment, Neteyam realized something. His whole life, his parents taught him how to hunt, fish, make kills, but their biggest motto was “Sully’s stick together.”

While yes, he was learning things on his own, he was also learning that he wouldn’t have to be alone because his family would always have his back. You did not have that.

You were the one who would always have your siblings’ back, but they wouldn’t always necessarily have yours. You were teaching them to survive on their own, not to depend on one another like he was taught growing up. Independence was a key feature of your family dynamic. Dependence was the key feature of his family dynamic.

“You are not too hard on them. You are doing what you know and hoping they will learn it too. It is a great feature to know you will always be dependable for them. However, you can always depend on me if you ever needed something.” You met his gaze and Neteyam smiled warmly at you.

“Your words are too kind. Thank you, my love.” Neteyam’s ears perked up. He had never heard that nickname before from you. You giggled upon seeing his surprised reaction.

“No, thank you, pretty girl.” He engulfed his arms around your shoulders to bring you into his chest. You chuckled and he knew you didn’t quite understand his nickname he gave you, but it didn’t matter.

He thought that maybe you going out on these missions weren’t so bad as long as he was the one to patch you up afterwards—and he always was going to be the one patching you up every. single. time.

FOUR.

Neteyam ventured out on a day-long hunting expedition with his father, brother, and even your own little brother. You remembered how excited Tsanten was when Jake approached him one night to ask if he wanted to tag along to get some pointers from the older guys.

It warmed your heart to see Neteyam’s family being so welcome to your own. Tsanten didn’t have your dad to take him out like this, so being able to finally go out was like a dream come true for him, especially with the Olo’eyktan.

You had a pretty slow day considering Neytiri decided to take Tuk, Kiri, and your other three sisters out for what she liked to call a “girls day.” She extended the invite to you, but you figured with everyone out of the hut was a great opportunity to get some cleaning done.

With a job that would usually take hours, it only took about two and you were done by noon. Toys were put away; the rug was cleaned; things were put back where they belonged—the entire hut looked spotless.

You ended up venturing over to the Sully residence to see if Neytiri and the girls returned yet. You thought it was empty approaching since it was practically silent until you saw Mo’at sitting near the back grinding some of her herbs together.

She caught your eye before you could walk away. You had never really spoken to the Tsahik before. Most times, you would send your siblings in if they had gotten hurt and waited outside for them. You knew she was a woman of few words despite being so highly respected within the clan.

You bowed to her.

“You must be Neteyam’s…oh what do they say..girlfriend?” The older woman cracked a tiny smile causing you to flush.

“I suppose so, yes. I apologize for interrupting you.” You nodded to her bowl of herbs. She waved you off though, beckoning you inside.

“I come here sometimes to get away when I want to be alone. There is always someone bursting into my hut needing fixing.” You smiled a bit, sitting down beside the older Na’vi.

“I understand. It is always nice to get away sometimes.” She smiled, glad you understood her.

You felt a bit strange being in Neteyam’s home without him there. Ever since the family dinner, you had only been over a handful of times, so being here alone with just his grandmother was definitely different. The usual organized chaos that filtered through his home was replaced with tranquility as the day grew shorter.

“You are a hunter and warrior correct?” Mo’at spoke up again. Flushing that she knew that about you, you nodded.

“Those are very useful skills to have as a Na’vi like you. I am impressed, especially with how much my grandson tells me about you.” She waved her finger around. You were sure that if Neteyam was here he would be embarrassed she had said that.

“Thank you, Mo’at. My parents grew up that way, so they raised me the same.” Your parents had always been die-hard warriors, so it was practically in all of your blood to become just like them one day.

“I do not see your parents around as often as I used to.” Who knew the Tsahik knew so much about your family. You scratched the back of your ear to find some excuse that didn’t sound horrible to tell her.

“They are always on hunting trips. They like to travel a lot.” Not a complete lie, but not exactly the entire truth.

“I see, I see. They always seemed to be very ambitious people.” You nodded. Yes, ambitious was certainly one way to describe them.

“It is mostly just my siblings and I around the hut. They like to take very long hunting trips.” Mo’at nodded once again.

“Yes, Neteyam says that you are the main caretaker of your siblings.” You flushed again. How much was Neteyam actually talking about you when you weren’t around? A lot, apparently.

“That task can be rather daunting, but he says you handle it very well. All of your siblings seem like very respectful people.” She continued before you could respond. You smiled. That compliment meant a lot coming from Tsahik of the village.

“Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.” She grinned at you while continuing to crush and grind away in her little bowl.

“Would you like to try?” She looked down at the bowl. You flushed realizing she was asking you to help grind up her herbs.

“Oh, sure.” She switched places with you and you began doing exactly what she had done. You crushed them down into tiny little bits and pieces.

“This could be your job one day.” Mo’at eyed you as she added in another handful. Your entire face deepened into a darker shade of blue.

“Oh..I do not know about that. Maybe?” You liked Neteyam a lot, but you two were teenagers still. His selection for a mate was still so far away and he would not become Olo’eyktan for quite some time.

“You like my grandson, no?” For a woman of few words, Mo’at seemed to have a lot to talk about with you.

“Yes, I do. He is a lovely young man.” You weren’t sure, but you thought you saw her grin from the corner of you eye.

“I do not know much about..what does Jakesully say..teenage love, but I know my grandson likes you a lot. He talks and talks about you so much. I know it can be scary stepping into that kind of love, but I usually do not steer wrong when I watch my children fall in love. I was not wrong about Jakesully and my daughter.” Hearing all of this coming from Tsahik meant so much to you. You held a lot of respect for the older Na’vi and now she was sitting beside you giving you advice about relationships like you were one of her own.

“Your hunting and warrior skills matched with your caretaking skills would make a wonderful Tsahik one day if that is what happens.” She squeezed your arm and everything in you felt so warm and comforted. No one had ever said things like that to you before and hearing it from Mo’at made it even more special.

“You are too kind. Thank you.” You flushed for the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. Mo’at grinned once more.

“I know a kind soul when I see one. Eywa would not have brought you and Neteyam together if she was not wanting you two to be together in that way.” Obviously, Mo’at would know best when it came to Eywa. You smiled, glancing back down at the herbs.

Maybe one day this would be your fate.

—

Neteyam returned from his day-long hunting trip exhausted and ready to collapse into his hammock for a long nap. His mother was there to greet him with a kiss to the cheek and to his surprise, his grandmother was sitting inside eating her bowl of food.

“Hello, grandmother.” He bowed to her and she nodded back.

“Hello, my grandson. How was the trip?” Neteyam shrugged some, dropping his belongings to the ground for now. It was as best as it could be with Lo’ak being his usual self plus an added friend along for the ride.

“It was very informative. Father gave us great tips.” That part was not a lie. Jake always gave his sons great pointers for making their kills.

“That is great, I am very glad. I had a nice visit with your Y/n today.” Neteyam’s eyes widened a bit.

“You did? When?” He suddenly worried his grandmother told her embarrassing things about him or exposed how he would talk about her all the time.

“She stopped by here looking for you, I think, but I was here instead. I offered inside and we had a very nice chat. She is a wonderful young woman.” Neteyam couldn’t help but smile hearing that. You were amazing. He was glad to hear his grandmother liked her as much as he did.

“She would make a very wonderful Tsahik one day. She has nearly every skill necessary without even having much training for the position.” Mo’at eyed her grandson. Neteyam’s entire face flushed, but he also felt a sense of pride. You were great at nearly everything, he wasn’t surprised Mo’at thought that.

“Well, I hope one day it will happen. We are still young and—“

“Tsahik knows everything, son. It will happen.” Neteyam watched his grandmother beam at him widely. He flushed once more and then tried to hide the smirk forming on his lips by looking away.

In his head, he knew you were the one for him, but that was never definite. Hearing his grandmother basically confirm it was enough for him. You were it for him. Through and through.

FIVE.

You hadn’t snuck out during the night in awhile. Neteyam suggested it would be a nice way to get your minds off of things and just be with each other for a bit since your siblings were always interrupting or needing something.

Neteyam swung along the oh so familiar path to the tree he had taken so many times before. Eclipse had just begun and every time he was so amazed at how the forest lit up around him. It made Pandora that much more magical.

Like always, you had beaten him to the spot. Except this time, you weren’t alone. Your ikran was perched a few feet away and you had your riding visor on. Neteyam grew suspicious, but you only grinned at him.

“I thought we could go for a ride. We haven’t flown during Eclipse in so long.” You freckles were glowing and Neteyam could see the large smile on your face and your eagerness to fly.

“I did not bring any of my things and I only have my—“ You cut him off by revealing your hands that were hidden behind your back. You held his riding visor in your hands.

“I knew you would say that, so I planned ahead.” Neteyam could only smile at you. You always thought of everything.

“What if we get attacked or something?” Neteyam was still skeptical. He loved riding at Eclipse with you, but he felt under prepared if anything happened while you two were out.

“Nothing will happen, I promise. If it makes you feel any better, I have my bow. Come on, we have not ridden in so long.” You were tugging at his hand and he couldn’t resist your pleas. He took his visor from your hands and smiled.

“Okay, fine. Let’s do it.” He would do anything to be able to make you smile like you were right now. He called for his ikran while you hopped up on yours.

Once you two were both on, you exchanged a glance. There was a playful smirk on your lips as you pushed your visor down. Neteyam grew curious of the look.

“Last one to Ayram Alusing loses!” And then you were off before Neteyam could even process what you had said.

He quickly took off with you already five paces ahead of him. He had no idea how you gained so much speed already while he struggled to even pick up momentum. The wind blew against his face, making it burn some of his skin that was not protected. It was definitely not working in his favor tonight.

“You are losing, Neteyam!” He heard you call from ahead of him. He growled some and focused all of his energy into catching up to you.

He was finally able to catch up to your side. He smirked over at you.

“Who is losing now?” He teased and pushed ahead ignoring the harsh breeze as best as he could.

The two of you soared through the sky, the Hallelujah Mountains just ahead. Neteyam had the lead, but you were just on his tail, literally. If you reached out, you could probably touch the end of his ikran.

You had a competitive spirit, so there was no way you were letting yourself loose to Neteyam. From his peripheral, he saw you creeping up on him.

“You can not win everything, Y/n!” He called over to you, but there was something in your eye telling him you were definitely not losing this round.

He tried focusing through the bond to get his ikran to pull ahead as the first two mountains came up. However, you blew right past him like magic and crossed the imaginary finish like. Neteyam sighed in defeat as you pumped your arms up and down for another victory.

“I told you I would win. You do not win against me.” The eldest Sully still smiled nonetheless, enjoying seeing you so happy. He would lose a hundred times to you to be able to see you as happy and carefree as you were right now.

“My apologies, I should have known I had no chance.” Neteyam held his hands up in surrender. The little smirk continued to dance on your lips as you took off to keep flying around the mountains.

The boy stuck close to your side, the two of you smiling widely as you weaved in and around the large rock formations. You would occasionally dive over the larger branches hanging out to make it a game.

Neteyam felt like his parents where he knew they still snuck out at later hours of the night to do this. It was so thrilling, yet so relaxing at the same time. The breeze had finally died down and it no longer felt like bullets pelting his skin as he rode.

“You want to rest here? There is an open spot.” You pointed up ahead at a clearing in one of the mountain tops. Neteyam nodded and followed you to the landing.

You jumped off your ikran, taking in your surroundings. The entire area was glowing its bioluminescent glow. Each flora, leaf, tree moss, everything was shining bright acting as the light in the dark night.

“That was easily the best ride I have had in awhile. What about you?” You flipped your visor up and turned to Neteyam. In a swift move, he snaked his arms around your waist to bring you closer.

“That certainly was a great ride, but maybe next time you will lose the race here.” He grinned and earned an eye roll from you.

“In your dreams. You may be future Olo’eyktan, but you can never win against me.” You shook your head and Neteyam only chuckled.

“And you may be future Tsahik one day, so that competitive nature may need to die down a bit.” He smirked and your face flushed. You broke away from his grasp to look up at the blue-purple sky.

“Your grandmother speaks of the same thing.” You smiled, thinking about your time with Mo’at a few weeks ago.

“Is that what you two talked about that one day?” Neteyam questioned, always wondering what his grandmother could possibly be saying to you when he wasn’t around.

“She is a very kind lady. She knows what she is talking about.” You laughed some. Neteyam cringed knowing she definitely embarrassed him during that conversation.

“Did she say anything about me?” He had to ask even if he didn’t want to know.

“Oh, so many things. She loves you.” You found a comfortable spot against one of the trees to stargaze. Neteyam joined you.

“Anything embarrassing?” Your tiny giggle told him all he needed to know. He internally face palmed.

“If I told you, it would ruin the fun.” You grinned and Neteyam knew that Mo’at definitely embarrassed the shit out of him. Wonderful.

“Well, I am serious about your future Tsahik fate. Just think, you and I head of the clan one day. It would be perfect.” Neteyam threw his arm around you and you giggled at the image appearing in your head.

The Sully boy pictured it too. It looked very similar to his mother and father right now. You would still be a warrior while also caring for the people when they needed it. He would wear the large feather chest piece and headpiece his father wore—planning hunting trips, war parties, overseeing the entire clan. The future was so close yet so far. He knew it would be before him soon.

For now though, he wouldn’t worry about that and enjoyed the time he was spending with you by his side. It was enough waking up in the early hours of the morning, spending hours on specific skills, he didn’t need to wish it upon himself right now.

“Well, if it does happen, at least the people seem content with your choice of..me.” You giggled at your wording. Neteyam smiled.

“It is a miracle no one has talked much. I think they know my father will be at their throats considering I am their son if they did say anything about you.”

“I knew it would be fine. You worry too much sometimes, you know.” You poked at his chest, making him squirm away from you.

“I am merely just caring about you. It is not worry.” Neteyam attempted to defend himself, but it was clear he had a weak defense.

“You also worry. Do not be afraid to admit it. It is charming knowing you worry so much.” Another grin came from you.

“Well of course I am going to worry and care. It is who I am.” You pulled him back towards you so he could cuddle into you.

“And I love who you are.” You cradled his head, pulling your hand through his pretty braids.

He almost said it. He almost had the courage to tell you.

Jake taught Neteyam the phrase when he once asked what it meant after hearing him tell it to his mother. Jake explained how it was much more intimate than I see you. It was something the Sky People would tell those they cared deeply for.

Neteyam had been wanting to say it you for ages, but he never thought it was the right time. He didn’t know how you would react. Would you freak out? Would you say it back? Did you love him? He for sure loved you, but he wasn’t sure if you reciprocated his feelings that much. He didn’t want to scare you with such a meaningful phrase. It seemed like the right time, but it also didn’t at the same time.

Instead, he nuzzled his head further into you and breathed you in. He savored the way your hair smelled—somehow it always smelled like fresh flowers. He listed to your heartbeat, nearly putting him to sleep. The moment was taking him over. It was complete bliss and comfort being in your arms.

THE ONE TIME HE SAID IT.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

You planned a cute little picnic in the forest for you and Neteyam. He was dragged out of his hut with instructions to keep his eyes closed or he would ruin the surprise. Your grip on his hand was tight as he was dragged through the forest, occasionally knocking his head against a low hanging branch you forgot to push out of the way.

“Y/n, that was the third branch. Where are we going?” He laughed trying to figure out where he was, but it wasn’t much luck considering he was blindfolded.

“Just be patient. You will love it.” You hoped he would love it. You worked to put it together all day yesterday, so if he didn’t like it you’d be damned.

Trusting you, Neteyam kept accepting hits to the head and scratches to the arm knowing it had to be worth it in the end.

When you two finally arrived at your destination, you pulled the cloth from his eyes. He squinted, not used to the bright light, but when his vision finally leveled out, he was in awe of what he saw.

The little clearing had been decorated with numerous vines that wrapped around each tree branch. Flower petals were scatted along the ground. It looked like something from his dreams.

“Surprise! What do you think? A picnic in the forest.” You held your arms out, excitement bouncing across your face. Neteyam was still speechless at the effort that must’ve been put into all of it.

“You did this all for me?” You nodded, leading him further in.

“Of course I did. I had some help from Kiri and my sisters, but you deserve it after all the work you have been doing.” You turned to him, grinning widely. Neteyam cupped your face trying to find the words to express his gratitude.

“You are the best person ever. Thank you, my love.” He pecked your lips and then went to see what you had packed for your picnic.

You joined him on the blanket Neytiri let you use while Neteyam immediately began eating anything he saw. You laughed at his actions.

“Someone has not eaten yet today?”

“Oh, you have no idea. I have been out since the eclipse ended training with my father.” You grinned, glad you could feed him.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Since it was a spur the moment surprise, neither of you thought to bring any weapons with you besides the knives you always carried. It was a part of the forest only Na’vi went. There was no possible way danger could lurk around the corner or behind a tree.

“If you could come back as anything you wanted, what what you want to come back as?” Neteyam laid across the blanket staring up at the clear sky. Your head was beside his as you laid the other way. Your stomach’s were full of food and now you were just relaxing in the sun.

“Anything?” That was a hard question. There was so many things you wanted to be.

“Anything.”

“I think I would want to come back as an ikran. They are so beautiful and just imagine being able to go anywhere you wanted basically. Flying through the sky with your rider. It sounds like such a dream.” You adored your rides with your ikran and being one would be a whole other level you would want to experience.

“I think I would want to come back as one of the good scientists like Norm or Dr. Max.” Neteyam’s answer surprised you and even himself. Sky People were evil and even some didn’t fully trust the good scientists who stayed behind, but he wanted to know what it felt like to live as human.

His father told him and his siblings countless stories of his time being apart of the Sky People and it always intrigued Neteyam.

“I know it sounds crazy, but my father told us so many stories as his time as one of them. It just seems so interesting to me.” He continued his reasoning when you didn’t respond.

“I understand it. I think it would be interesting to live as them for a day.” It was strange to Neteyam. Sky People could live like his people whenever they chose to, but he could not live like them. There was no science to make human bodies for Na’vi people who wanted the experience.

He got a lot of exposure from Spider, but it wasn’t really the same. Neteyam wanted to see it, feel it for himself.

“I have just always felt human because of my father’s blood. Even though I do not have the five fingers like Lo’ak and Kiri, I still have half of his blood in me.” Neteyam tore his gaze to his hands. His long, thin fingers that were just like his mother’s and Tuk’s.

His parents liked to say he took on more of Neytiri’s genes while Lo’ak gained Jake’s.

“It is okay to wonder and want to feel it, Neteyam. You are half human, half Na’vi. It is good you are curious.” You reached up to caress his cheek and the boy leaned into your touch.

“It just feels wrong, though. The Sky People are demons. They hurt us. Why do I want to wonder more about them?” In a sense, he also felt guilt. He knew how much his mother despised those people and even sometimes Spider because he was one of them. Why should he want to know more when all they did was hurt people?

“Do not feel guilty for wondering. Your father was them once upon a time,” He grinned at your english phrase you used. Him and Lo’ak were definitely rubbing off on you. “And he is a good human. You can still wonder and want to be like them and still be good. Norm and Max are good Sky People. It is your blood, your ancestors. Do not feel bad for wanting to wonder.” Neteyam liked the reassurance you were giving him. He was worried he sounded crazy or something.

He was about to respond when his ears twitched for a second and he suddenly got a random chill across his arms. A faint rustling noise floated into his ears. He quickly sat up.

Normally, he wouldn’t have been so alarmed, but the way his skin started to crawl told him it wasn’t some animal lurking.

“Neteyam? What is wrong?” You sat up seeing his quick change in demeanor.

“Shh, be quiet for a second.” He held his finger to his lips. His eyes bounced around the area you two were in and he grabbed for his knife.

The rustling noise continued and it got closer to where you guys were. Neteyam grabbed your arm, making you stand up with him. His actions were frightening you because you didn’t know what was going on.

“Someone else is here.” He whispered to you. He felt his heart beating a bruise into his chest at the idea of someone else lurking close by.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

A noise and then an arrow was flying just above your heads. You screamed out of instinct and fear. Neteyam’s hand was back on you about to hide behind a tree. When he spun around, two larger hands with a much stronger grip grabbed ahold of the two of you.

You screamed again. Neteyam hit them with his knife causing a minor distraction. He spun away from the prying hands, until four more people emerged from the bushes, large guns in their hands. He suddenly stopped, knowing he couldn’t take them with just a knife.

“Well, look at what we have here. Looks like we crashed someone’s date.” Neteyam knew it wasn’t a true Na’vi by the way they wore full clothes and spoke in english to him. It was Avatars.

The one, tall with a buzz cut haircut, crouched down to be at his eye level. Neteyam hissed at him as he scanned his entire face with his eyes. He held his knife out for defense.

“I heard you talking a few moments ago. You said your father was from the..Sky People. Your father doesn’t happen to be Jake Sully, does it?” With the English Neteyam did understand, he knew this guy was bad and clearly had his dad on his radar.

“Oe rä’ä tslam nga.” (I do not understand you) Neteyam growled out. The avatar looked at him, quirking his eyebrow and exchanging a glance with his accomplices with him.

You continued to struggle in the hands that held a tight grip on you.

“If you tell me where your father is, I’ll let her go.” He nodded towards you. Neteyam only hissed at him once more, knife high, ready to strike.

“Or we can do this the hard way, it’s up to you. You are definitely your father.” The avatar man grabbed Neteyam’s hand. He examined his fingers, raising his eyebrow once more.

“Sure didn’t get his genes though, that’s for sure.” The others snickered around them. Neteyam pulled his hand back, unsure of what to do. If he went for a hit, they wound shoot and he didn’t want that to happen.

His eyes gazed over at you. You met his gaze, the same unsureness resting in your look. If you were scared, Neteyam couldn’t tell because you hid it well.

He couldn’t call in his dad because that would just lead this guy right to him. He was out of any good options.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

“All you have to do is tell me where your dad is and no one will get hurt.” Neteyam thought of an idea.

He slowly raised his hands in means of surrender. The guy looked at him, curious. Neteyam set his knife down by his feet and then slowly moved his hands to where his transmitter sat on his neck.

He pushed into the buttons and began speaking in Na’vi since these guys clearly didn’t understand it as well as he could speak it.

(Let’s pretend this is Na’vi because I can’t translate the entire conversation 😌)

“Dad, we’re under attack, I need help.” Neteyam glanced warily at the man standing before him who watched his moves carefully.

“Neteyam? Where are you?” His dad came into his ear, urgent and worried.

“In the forest where the open clearing is. Avatar men with guns. We’re surrounded.”

“We? Who is we?”

“Y/n and I. We need your help.” The guy wasn’t exactly picking up on what Neteyam was saying which was good. His plan was working so far.

“Okay, we’re on our way.” And then he was out. Neteyam knew two things after that: one, his father was a much better fighter than these guys were. He was Na’vi, he had years and years to adapt. He could take these guys out easily. Two, his dad wasn’t going to give himself up to this guy and if they could defeat him, it wouldn’t even be in the question.

“He is coming now.” Neteyam spoke in english so the guy understood. He quirked his eyebrow once more, almost surprised.

“Well, that was easier than I thought it would be.” The others chucked around them. Behind his back, Neteyam made a small hand signal to you that he hoped you would understand.

Suddenly, there was a screech. You had bitten the arm that was holding you. Neteyam used that distraction to grab his knife from the ground. He went for the guy’s leg.

You wrestled out of the grasp. The others went for you, but being the skilled warrior you were, it was easy to take them out. You swung your leg around, taking one out with your foot.

Neteyam slashed the leg of the guy and went for his gun. His father had taught him and Lo’ak how to use one, so he knew exactly where to go to blow the amo out of it.

He used his knife to slash another one’s arm. It was pure chaos. Blood sputtered every which direction and the others were trying to fire their guns at you two. You were quicker than them, though. You knocked them from their hands and kicked their legs out.

One particular cut Neteyam made went across the entire face of one of the avatars.

“Quaritch, we need to fall back. We can’t take this many losses right now.” One of them urgently spoke to the one Neteyam slashed the leg of.

“I need Jake Sully. I am not leaving without him.” He argued bitterly.

“We’ll come back when we’re better prepared! At least we know they’re close by.” He seemed to finally give in. He called something Neteyam didn’t understand and all of his accomplices began retreating back into the forest where they had come from.

Relief flooded through Neteyam. They were leaving and the both of you were still safe. However, his relief didn’t last for very long.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

He turned to you, a smile spread across his lips until he saw the way you clutched your stomach. Your hands were trembling as they slowly revealed what was happening. Your knife handle was sticking out and blood was dripping from your skin.

There wasn’t a smile on his face anymore. His relief disappeared and was quickly replaced by fear.

“Neteyam..” You sputtered, swaying on your feet. He was quick to catch you before you hit the ground.

“No, no, no, no, Y/n. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. Look at me. Look at me. You’re okay.” He was sputtering, clutching your arm and staring at the way your knife was lodged into your stomach.

“Why am I so warm? Is it warm?” Your entire face was losing color by the second. Neteyam, even though he tried not to show it for your sake, was panicking.

“You’re fine. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. Help is coming. They’re coming to help us.” He knew better than to pull the knife out, but you were practically pouring blood everywhere.

“Am I dying? Is this what it feels like to die?” The blood loss was making you go into shock. Neteyam was cradling your head, trying to stay calm for you and himself.

“No, you are not dying, my love. You are going to be okay. You are not going to die. I will not let you die.” If he had his bow and arrow, maybe he would’ve been able to take down those other guys easier. If he had a better weapon, anything other than a knife then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

You were not dying.

Your breathing started becoming rigid. It was broken into heavy pants and you were sputtering again.

“If-if I don’t..If I don’t make it..Can you-will you take care of them for me?” Your siblings. Neteyam visibly shut his eyes for a moment. How would he explain this to Foana? Who would take care of them if you..no you were not dying.

“Do not say that. You are going to take care of them because you are going to live. My dad is coming. Everything is going to be okay.” It was mostly just so Neteyam would believe himself too. Everything was going to be okay.

His ears twitched and perked up when he heard sounds of ikrans coming. His father’s ikran came into view along with his mother’s. They landed and then rushed to where you two were.

“Dad! Someone put her knife into her. She..she is losing so much blood.” Neteyam’s voice broke that time. He couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Shit, shit.” Neteyam watched as his dad gently flipped you to your side. Luckily, there was no exit wound, but the blood kept coming.

“I-I do not feel very good. I-I-“ You were heaving at this point. Your eyes were glazing over and your entire skin had gone from a deep blue to an entirely lighter shade.

“Y/n, you need to stay with me. Please, please stay with me.” Neteyam cupped your face, trying to keep your eye contact with him.

“We need to get her to the village. To Max and Norm and Mo’at.” Neytiri had a look of pure horror on her face seeing you like that.

Your eyes couldn’t stay open much longer. The blood loss was becoming fatal. Neteyam began shaking you when he saw your eyelids drift closed.

“Y/n! Y/n!” He was in too much of a panic to even check if you were breathing or not still. He could not lose you. Not now.

“We need to get her to the village, right now. Neteyam! Are you with me?” His father was practically yelling at this point. However, his eldest son fell into what was his own shock.

He did not and could not move seeing your almost lifeless body in front of him. He didn’t process it as his dad lifted you up to his ikran. His mother had to pull him to his feet, trying to snap him back into attention. Nothing worked, though.

All he could think about was you. You, you, you. You were in love. His future woman. His future mate. You were the sister to his siblings. The sister to your siblings. You were their care taker. Who would..who would take care of them now?

He should’ve told you. He should’ve told you the other night on your night ride. It was so close on the tip of his tongue. Why couldn’t he find the courage to tell you then? What if he never got to tell you ever now?

Your body became so lifeless in his arms. Pale skin, gone eyes, blood nearly everywhere. This couldn’t be the end. There was so much life ahead for the two of you. Your future plans. He couldn’t possibly do it all without you.

His mother somehow managed to get him onto her ikran. She flew quickly through the sky after her husband who clutched your body tightly.

When they landed, you were rushed directly to Max and Norm. Mo’at was brought in to give you a heavy sedation medicine so they could pull the knife out without damaging anything serious. It was near chaos. No one but Mo’at was allowed where they were inside the labs.

Neteyam chewed on his bottom lip. Guilt, fear, anger, sadness, everything at once was eating him up inside. He figured he should be the one to tell your siblings what happened, so he did.

Their faces were enough for him to finally break down right in front of them. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. The phrase repeated in his head like a broken record.

All five of them sat on the ground of your hut hugging one another close. For a moment he hated your parents for not being here in this moment. They had no idea what was happening to their daughter right now.

Neytiri offered their hut to your siblings without hesitation to stay in.

Hours were ticking by it stated to feel like days to Neteyam. There was no word on the progress or your condition. It was merely a waiting game at this point. The knife was lodged deep and you lost a lot of blood.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Mo’at finally emerged after what seemed like almost six hours where a large group had gathered outside of the lab doors—Neteyam and his family included. All of them deeply concerned about your well-being.

“The knife has been removed. She is stable, but she is sleeping still and will be for a few days.” A tiny bit of relief washed through Neteyam knowing the operation was at least successful.

—

The days went by and you had finally awoken. Once visitors were allowed, your siblings were the first to check on you, of course. Neteyam hung back, a bit anxious and nervous to see you again.

He felt so guilty for what happened. He could not protect you after saying countless times that he would at any given moment. His failure caused him to hang his head low and avoid looking people’s way when he went out.

Kiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak were the next group of visitors. Neteyam still hung back. Maybe it was fear that was holding him back?

Could he possibly look you in the eye again after seeing you with a knife lodged into you? Not really. His fear made him feel upset in a sense. Why could he not face you? You were his love, yet he could not find himself to step foot into the lab.

A few more days passed and eventually the doctors and Mo’at agreed to move you back into your hut for more comfort. Neteyam avoided the entire village that day, in fear that he would see you.

What was wrong with him? One minute he could not stop seeing you and now he was afraid to even make eye contact with you.

It made him feel even more guilty.

One night, he sat outside by one of the drop-off spots. His head pounded and every single thought he ever had was swirling around like a school of fish.

He didn’t feel another presence until he caught sight of his mother sitting down beside him. She had began recognizing his absent behaviors and his avoidant gazes anytime he was around people. She knew how hard this was on her son.

“Have you seen her at all?” She crafted her words gently. Neteyam shook his head.

“I cannot. It pains me and the guilt is eating me alive.” He grabbed his chest like something was actually messing with him in there.

“Well, she is asking for you. She is confused why you have not seen her yet. You should go see her, Neteyam.”

“I can not. Every time I look at her I remember the horrid images of the knife deep in her stomach as the blood seeped through. It was the worst part of everything. I promised her protection and I can not even do that anymore.” He wanted his mother to understand, but he knew she wound not. Not completely, at least.

“Neteyam, this is not your blame. You did everything you could and no one is blaming you. I promise you, son.” Her arm outstretched to bring comfort to her son. She rubbed his back, trying to get him to understand.

“Then why do I feel so, so guilty like it is my fault?” He pleaded for an answer. His mother tried to come up with as best of an answer as she could.

“When you care for someone as deeply as you do, whatever happens to them begins to feel like it is your fault. It is not your fault, though. You take the blame because you think there is no where else to place it. My son, you did everything you could. No one is upset at you or mad or angry. Y/n is not upset with you. Do not think that.” Neteyam’s head hung low.

“I think it will fix a lot of things if you go see her. You will begin to realize this was none of your doing or fault.” Neytiri urged once more and Neteyam knew he couldn’t keep refusing. He had to be mature. He was almost Olo’eyktan and he couldn’t even face his own injured (almost) mate.

“Okay. I will go see her.” Neytiri smiled, giving her son a nod of encouragement.

The Sully boy stood and turned in the direction of your hut. He started bracing himself—for insults? Anger? Sadness? Frustration?

The closer he got to you, the faster his heart would beat against his chest. From inside, he could hear your siblings talking and at times arguing with one another.

He tapped on the wood before pushing aside the flap that covered the inside. Tsanten and Naria looked his way.

“Neteyam! You’re here!” Foana was at his legs, hugging him much like Tuk did. He smiled down at the little girl.

“Hello, Foana. Tsanten. Naria. Ni`awtu.” He bowed before them. Their looks told him they had never been greeted that way before.

In the corner, Neteyam caught sight of your figure. You were sitting upright carving something when you finally noticed his presence in your home.

“Neteyam, hello. Come in, come in.” You urged him in further. He slowly went to you and your siblings filtered themselves out knowing you two probably needed some space.

“You look so much better. How are you feeling?” He questioned taking in your skin that returned to its usual blue shade. You smiled some.

“I am definitely feeling a lot better. How are you?” You took ahold of his hands. The questioned seemed silly to him considering he wasn’t the one who got stabbed.

“I am doing okay. I am not the one who got stabbed, though.” He stifled a small laugh. You rubbed at his fingers and he was just glad to be able to feel your hands in his again, not the lifeless feeling they once were.

“Well, I have not seen you yet, so I was making sure you were okay.” Neteyam grimaced just a bit. He felt guilty for not visiting you sooner, but he just couldn’t bring himself to face you in the state that you were in.

“Yes, I am okay. I am sorry I did not visit you sooner. I..I just felt guilty about all of this and I was being selfish with myself.” His head hung low, ears dropping. You grabbed his chin though, shaking your head.

“There is nothing to feel guilty about, Neteyam. You did everything you could. Eywa gave me life again because she knew my time was not over yet. This was not your fault.” Your words were reassuring. He forced a small smile.

“Plus, you forget how strong I am. I have thick skin. Literally.” You laughed this time. The joke was corny, but it made both of you smile.

You allowed yourself to pull Neteyam closer and he situated himself so his head laid in your lap. He closed his eyes at the feeling of your fingers raking through his braids. It was a familiar feeling he had grown to miss while you were recovering.

“Hey, Y/n?” You turned your attention to the boy in your lap.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Neteyam’s heart was pounding, nervous for your reaction. He wasn’t sure if that was an Earth phrase you knew or understood, but he hoped it was.

A tiny smile danced on your lips. You caressed his cheek, leaning down to kiss it.

“I love you.”

The rest of the evening was spent wrapped in each other’s arms.

#avatar #avatar 1 #avatar 2 #atwow #avatar 2009 #avatar james cameron #avatar the way of water #awow #avatar: the way of water #neteyam x reader #neteyam imagine #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam x f!reader #neteyam x female reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x you #jake sully #lo’ak sully #neytiri sully #kiri sully #tuk sully #tsireya

[acourtofswiftiesandshadowdaddies]

Can you do prompt #2 of the angst list? With Azriel. Maybe reader (his mate) is tired of everything cause she see him with Elaine.

Opposite

Part 1 | Part 2

Azriel x Reader, Cassian x Best friend!reader, Eris x sister!reader

Warnings: Angst, swearing, cheating, elain slander

Summary: Azriel has started to hang out more with a certain Archeron sister.

Prompts: "Just let me go. Please, I want to leave.”

a/n: the first draft got deleted 😭go stream opposite by sabrina carpenter 😝

My mate, my husband, my love doesn't love me anymore. It's so painfully obvious that Elain is in love with him the way she clings to him like a leech. At first I thought it was one sided. But as the days go on, it's as if Azriel returns her feelings.

I wanted him to help her, it would help get his mind of other things but how I regret that.

Why does he love her? Why am I not enough?

Elain is beautiful, a kind of beautiful I could never be. Her pale skin a contrast to my tanned skin, she was slender while I was toned. Bright blue eyes to my muddy brown eyes. Soft fingers to my calloused hands.

I compared myself to her every single day, I tried becoming like her but what was the point, he doesn't even notice me anymore.

Their interactions cut through me like a knife. The way he smiles around her. I made him smile like that first. Why does he look so happy with her?

I tried everything, making his favourite food, waiting for him. But of course he didn't care, I still had hope though. Because he still kissed me goodnight, even though he smelt like her. He still told me I love you even though he stayed at hers the whole day. I miss my Azriel.

I had gotten closer to Nesta and Feyre, both of them unknowingly distracting me. I looked forward to the days I painted with Feyre or when I read a book with Nesta.

Finally reaching me and Azriel's shared apartment, I face palmed myself when I realised that I had forgotten the book Nesta recommended at River House. Hurrying I went back to the house. I opened the door and sighed in relief when I saw the book sitting on the table. Grabbing it, I'm about to leave when I hear giggles.

It couldn't be.

I walked to the garden. Yes it could. I gasped when I saw him kissing her. The pain it felt like a thousand daggers being stabbed in me. My heart ached at the sight in front of me.

"You look beautiful my love," Azriel said as he kissed my hand. I giggled.

Was it all a lie? When he said I'm beautiful was he lying to me?

"That's a really pretty picture, Azriel," Elain says. Jealousy hits me like a truck when I see he's drawing her.

He always drew me not Elain.

Azriel smiled to Elain while he placed a flower in her hair.

She looks nothing like me so why does he look so happy?

My thoughts run wild as I race out of the River House and to Madja's office. Knocking on the door, I open it and gasp as the pain becomes too much to bear, my heart feels as if it's being ripped out of my chest and my knees crumple under me. "He cheated on me,". With that black dots fill my vision and I collapse on the floor. I can hear frantic voices faintly in the back of my head.

There's a dull ache in my heart, I can feel pressure on my hand and a soft hum of chatter around me. My eyes flutter open, and I wince as the bright light floods my vision. I gaze around the room my eyes narrowing when I land on Elain and Azriel, "Get out," I whisper.

They both gape at me in shock. "I said 'Get out'" I say louder, my voice sore from crying.

"What, why?" Azriel stares at me dumbfounded. "Don't play dumb with me Azriel, I saw you kissing," I say sharply.

"My love it was a-" I cut off his stupid excuse, "Shut up Azriel, we're over get out," I close my eyes, in case I start crying again.

"Elain, do you need a special fucking invitation?" Cassian bites out. I hear a pair of footsteps scurry out of the room.

"I think I need some time," I breathe out. The pressure on my hand leaves and I open my eyes. "Cass can you stay? please" I say my lip wobbling. I see Nesta give a small nod to Cassian and her and Feyre hug me.

I reprimand myself when tears slip out but only freely escape when the door shuts.

"I went back for my book and saw them," I explain, Cassian pulls me into his chest and lets me cry.

I don't know how long I cry in that hospital bed with Cassian by my side. But after a while I finally have the courage to say "I'm gonna go visit my brothers for a while,". He only nods in understanding.

After a restless sleep I'm discharged by Madja, and I head to me and Azriel's apartment. Seeing him asleep on the couch, I tiptoe to our bedroom grab my stuff and just as I'm about to leave the house, Azriel is behind me and he says "So you're leaving just like that?" he grabs my wrist so I can't open the door.

"Just let me go. Please let me leave," I breathe out, my heart breaking.

a/n: lemme know if u want the part two, cos i dont like angst without happy ending 😭

#azriel acotar #acotar series #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #nessian #feysand #feyre archeron #feyre x rhysand #rhysand #elain archeron #elain x azriel #elain acotar #ooc elain #acourtofswiftiesandshadowdaddies #azriel x reader angst #azriel x reader #opposite

[deathbysnakes]

Hello! I hope you are doing well. I am in love with your work. Its difficult to find words to explain, but seeing your posts make my day!

May I request Pantalone and Dottore fluff headcannons with their s/o that also happens to be their childhood friend?

I wish you a nice day and always remember to drink water! :))

Dottore & Pantalone childhood friend headcanons

Dottore x reader (Romantic)

Pantalone x reader (Romantic)

Sorry this took so long, I thought I accidentally deleted this request, only to find it in my drafts.

Warnings:Marriage

Pronouns:He/him (Dottore and Pantalone) You/your (Reader)

Fluff

Explanation:Headcanons on being childhood friends with Dottore/Pantalone

×<>×<>×<>×<>×<>×<>×<>×<>×<>×<>×<>×<>×

Pantalone

You met Pantalone when he was running away from a rich man he just stole money from, you helped him hide from the man and you two became friends, over time you two started to gain feelings for eachother, you two eventually confessed your feelings for eachother and started dating, and dating turned into marriage.

Pantalone is constantly talking about the past, most of it is about how many times you saved him.

Pantalone is always trying to "repay" you because of how many things you did for him in the past, he's constantly protecting you, buying you stuff, and more.

Pantalone always keeps a close eye on you, he's worried something will happen to you, not like stalking wise though, he'll be in your plan of sight, and if you want him to stop he will.

When you and Pantalone go to Liyue he's always afraid that people will recognize you two so he's always keeping you close to him, he'll hold onto your pinky, hold your hand, or wrap a arm around your arm.

Pantalone will try to pick up on your hobbies so you guys can spend more time together because you two are busy with work and don't get to spend much time together that often.

Pantalone is constantly trying to help you with stuff, like getting ready in the morning, cooking, carrying stuff, and more.

I think Pantalone is a really good dancer and he does try to dance with you and if you already know how to dance he'll pretend like he doesn't know how to dance and will only take dance lessons from you, and if you don't know how to dance he'll teach you personally.

Loves to "decorate" you with jewelry and fancy clothes and praise you for how gorgeous you look.

---------------------------------------------------

Dottore

You two met when you found Dottore dissecting a frog and you asked what he was doing. At first, he was rude and pushed you away, but he eventually warmed up to you.

Dottore prefers not to talk about the past, he wasn’t exactly the nicest to you when you first started your friendship, he’s improved massively , but still feels guilty.

Dottore’s clones are constantly asking you to tell them embarrassing stuff Dottore did in his past, then Dottore immediately gets really embarrassed and yells at them to stop bothering you.

He’s a absolute cuddle bug, in private that is, and he has to have all limbs wrapped around you.

His clones are extremely touchy too, when your dating Dottore, personal space doesn’t exist.

If Dottore is working in his lab late, his clones will jump at the opportunity to share a bed with you for the night to stop you "from getting lonely", their actually the lonely ones.

LOVES massages, or just rubs, only from you though, if anyone else even tries, there dead in a heartbeat.

Will only go to events if you’re going. He says it’s to protect you, and while some of it is, he also wants to prevent people from flirting with you, it doesn’t make him jealous, he’s been with you for hundreds of years, he trusts you with his life, he just gets frustrated that such a low life thinks they have a chance with you. He also gets extremely worried that someone will kidnap you because of your beauty, because to him, your beauty is beyond the stars.

Loves to gossip with you, man is a total gossip girl, and because of all the clones he has, he knows EVERYTHING.

#fatui harbringers #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin fatui #genshin impact fatui #fatui x reader #fatui x y/n #genshin #il dottore #il dottore x reader #il dottore fluff #genshin impact il dottore #il dottore x y/n #genshin impact dottore #dottore fluff #reader x dottore #dottore segments #dottore clones #fatui dottore #dottore harbinger #dottore genshin #pantalone #genshin impact pantalone #pantalone x reader #genshin pantalone #pantalone x y/n #genshin pantalone x reader #pantalone x you #pantalone genshin impact #fatui

[ickadori]

++ 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐈

[summary] kisaki meets someone a bit more organically than he had intended to.

[cws] fem reader -> reader is a mother (the son is named ‘ren’). mentions of an abusive relationship. abuse towards reader. mild violence. allusions to cannibalism. unedited.

[notes] this was in drafts since sept and i actually hate it now but i didn’t wanna delete bc he’s my first luv ^.^ ending is thrown together heh!

Kisaki believed in meeting people organically — he considered himself a bit of a romantic.

Dating apps weren’t an option for him (even if he wasn’t on every criminal watchlist available he still wouldn’t go that route - it screamed desperation, and he liked to be quiet with his) and he had turned down every offer of being ‘set-up’ on blind dates after he had given Hanma a reluctant ‘yes’ and ended up sat across from a coked up, wannabe model that dropped dead of an overdose before the appetizers even hit the table.

It was a bit hard to meet people naturally when you rarely interacted with the public, and when you did, it was because a few big name heads needed to roll. He couldn’t exactly go out to mingle just after taking a handsaw to a man’s neck—you had to be in the right headspace.

He had looked inward at first, scoured his payroll and checked out each and every name listed there. He would never get involved with anyone working directly under him (work and pleasure should never mix, after all) but extended family members were fair game, or so he had thought, before he had realized just how fucked up the people he had working underneath him was, along with their families. Prostitutes, convicts, plebes riddled in debt and holding cans on street corners to try and afford it, losers spending all their measly paychecks in pachinko parlors and whorehouses.

Kisaki had standards, and they didn’t come close to fitting them.

Back to the drawing board.

A white cloud of air leaves his mouth as he sighs, hands slipping into the pockets of his wool, trench coat as he steps out of the driver's seat of the car. He moves to head into the lobby of his office building, gaze quickly sliding over to the kid standing near the entrance before immediately disregarding him.

“Hello, Sir.” He’s greeted with a deep bow, and a dark brow quirks up as he turns his head to look at the boy. He stops, eyes taking in the way he shivers in the cold from his lack of coat, coupled with the ratty t-shirt, gym shorts and sandals.

“I don’t have any cash on me. I’ll send someone back down with some.” He goes to move around, only for the kid to shuffle in front of him and block his path. Kisaki has half a mind to plant his foot in his stomach, but bites down the urge and instead grips the kid’s shirt and wrangles him off to the side.

“Wait! I-I don’t need your money! I need your help!”

“Do you see a badge on me? Go to the police station.” He chuckles as he says it. He usually tells people not to go to the police station. “I can’t help you.”

“I can pay you.” The kid goes into his pockets and brandishes two fistfuls of coins, and Kisaki takes a good look around the dark, empty streets, trying to catch a glimpse of Hanma because this has to be one of his stupid ideas of a joke. “I need your help, Sir, please. My dad—”

“If a man can’t help himself he’s better off dead.”

“—keeps hurting my mom.”

The coins rattle due to the trembling of the kid’s hands. “What’s your name?”

“Ren.”

“How exactly do you think I could help you and your mother, Ren?”

“Kill him.” Ren looks him in the eyes as he says it, and Kisaki hums. Kids are stupidly brave, he thinks. No older than ten and he goes to elicit the help of a random man that he doesn’t even know—

“Do you know who I am?”

“Yes. I…” Ren looks around, unsure, before he’s squaring his shoulders and meeting his gaze again. “I’ve been stalking you! And I saw you kill people with that really tall man so I know that you do it!”

“You didn’t see me do anything like that so don’t ever say that again. Do you understand?” Kisaki should probably toss the kid over a bridge or something - kids had big mouths, and he didn’t need to be brought down by some hobo child who blabbed his mouth to the cops - but he had always had a soft spot for children.

“Yes, Sir.” Ren’s speech was starting to get hard to decipher, his trembling reaching an all time high as his lips turned blue, and Kisaki sighed as he slipped his arms out of his coat, leaving him in a white button down and suspenders.

“Put this on before you freeze.”

Ren pointedly looks down to the coins in his hands, and Kisaki juts his chin to the side, signaling for him to just toss it down onto the street.

“B-But I saved this for two months for you!”

“Just throw it.”

“But it’s money!”

It’s mostly yen coins mixed in with a few 10 yens, and Kisaki sets his mouth to tell him it’s nearly worthless, nothing worth holding onto, and that he could just barely afford a few lollipops, much less an assassination, but he just sighs out through his nose and lets the kid dump the coins into his hand. He pockets it, trying to remember the last time he’s had loose change in his possession, and hands off the coat to Ren who quickly puts it on. It drapes him like a blanket, the arms too long and the hem of the coat dragging along the ground, and Kisaki sighs again.

“Get in the car so we can get this over with.”

-

“This is your place?”

“It’s a shithole.”

“It is.” Kisaki agrees as he cuts the engine, eyes taking in the dilapidated apartment building. He’s seen many like it, but this one might just be the worst. A small section of the building looks to be burned, as if a fire started in a unit and took out a few apartments and no one ever bothered to repair it.

There’s loiterers lingering all around; teens looking to get into trouble, or maybe looking to stay out of whatever trouble is in their homes, junkies scratching at themselves as they pace back and forth, and hookers in dark corners with their johns.

“That’s what my mom calls it.” Ren continues. “She says we’re gonna move one day. She’s been working a lot to save up money.”

“Where does she work?”

“She won’t tell me.”

“Stalk her like you did me.”

“But that’s bad.”

“So you can do bad things to me and not her?”

“Well,” he shrugs. “You’re bad.”

“I guess I am.”

Kisaki opens the middle console and bypasses the gun stashed inside, inside pulling free the pair of brass knuckles and slipping them into his back pocket. “Does your father have a gun?”

“No, they’re illegal. The officer at my school says so.” Ren peers into the console and goes wide-eyed at the sight he sees.

“How big is he?”

“Really big—bigger than you.”

“Where does he work?”

“The… um, the lumber yard.”

The aluminum bat that he keeps under his seat is pulled free, and then he’s signaling for Ren to get out of the car as he steps out into the cold himself. They join at the front of the car, and like bees to honey, a few women who look as if they’re standing on their last leg make their way over to him, dollar signs reflecting in their irises as they take in the sports car he’s just gotten out of.

“Which apartment is yours?”

“It’s this way.” Ren sets off in the direction in which he pointed to, and Kisaki holds up a gloved hand to the women steadily approaching, stopping them in their tracks as they huff and send him scathing looks.

They’re heading in the direction of the apartments that had been burned down, and Kisaki considers offing the father and the mother and just dropping the boy off at one of the orphanages that actually give a shit about the kids in their care. Killing the dad would stop the mom from getting her head knocked left and right, but it wouldn’t fix their problems. Few people had what it took to pull themselves out of a hole like this one, and the woman was clearly lacking a few vital things up top to have ended up in this predicament in the first place.

“Goddamn fucking bitch. Where is it?!” The near snarl brings Kisaki out of his thoughts, and he reacts in time to snag ahold of Ren’s shoulder when he tried to dash for the apartment. A heavy smack sounds seconds later, followed by the sound of furniture and glass breaking, and another sigh, this one heavier, leaves him as he leans the bat against the wall and starts rolling up his sleeves.

“What the fuck am I doing here?” He mutters to himself, crisp sleeves rolling back to reveal toned, bronze arms. The muscles in them flex as lithe fingers wrap around the handle of the bat, and he rolls his shoulders once before taking a step back, raising his foot, and slamming it right below the lock.

It’s been a while since he’s done a house call, but he adjusts quickly. He rushes in —best to catch ‘em before the shock of the door bursting in wears off— and lays eyes on two people, a man and a woman. He aims low and hits a knee, and there’s a crunch that makes his eyebrow twitch and a scream that brings forth a wave of amusement.

The man stumbles, face screwed up in pain and spit and curses flying. He’s built like a brick house, and the physique reminds him of a certain taxing restaurant owner, so he swings the bat again, this time cracking a few ribs and sending the man sprawling down to the floor.

A floorboard creaks behind him, and reflexes kick in as he swings before he looks. A soft gasp and a shout of ‘Sir’ makes him stop just in time, and he turns to see he was about 3 centimeters away from caving the woman’s face—oh.

Even with the budding bruises, the haggard clothing, and the teary, snotty face, Kisaki has to blink twice and bite down on his tongue to make sure he hasn’t died and somehow snuck his way into Heaven—disgustingly cheesy, he’s aware, but he’s a romantic, you know, and the sight of you is enough to ignite something inside him that had been extinguished for quite some time.

He takes in a slow breath, and the tepid, stale air of this should-be-condemned apartment feels like a breath of fresh air, and he knows what this feeling is. He had felt it once, back when he was young and full of a puppy love for a woman that could just barely stand the sight of him.

He should leave, go back to his office and send a cleanup crew to get rid of all the loose ends. He had thought he wanted another woman to send him up in a tailspin, but there were too many variables, too many things that he couldn’t control, too many things that he couldn’t predict, and he was starting to run out of people to kamikaze box trucks for him when relationships went awry.

“Mom!” Ren runs to you, and you wrap him up in your arms, eyes warily watching Kisaki as you try and gauge his intentions.

“I-I don’t have what he owes you.” Ah.

“He doesn’t owe me a thing.” He forcefully drags his eyes away from you to instead look at the writhing man on the floor. Kisaki lifts his foot and settles it on his midsection, grinding the heel of his shoe against the protruding bones. “But I’m sure he owes someone, so I’ll settle the debt for them.” He looks back to you, and a clammy hand tightens around the handle of the bat. “Unless you have any objections...”

Your eyes flicker down to your child’s father, eyebrows scrunching together as you hold Ren tighter, and Kisaki pleads in his head for you to give him an answer that’ll snuff that flame you lit right out.

Ask me to spare him. Tell me how he’s not a bad man, even though he beats you black and blue and forces your son to seek the help of random men in the middle of the night. Cry that you love him. Make me hate you—

“Just... just don’t do it here, please. I don’t want him to see.”

“Of course.”

Ah, hell.

Kisaki guesses this is as organic as it’s going to get.

#kisaki x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tr x reader

[violet-lazer]

First Kisses : Papal Edition - Secondo

Content / Warnings : Secondo/Reader, Mature (Language, Suggestiveness), Gender-Neutral Reader, 1.5k words. Thanks, please enjoy! (AO3)

Your first kiss with Secondo.

With a good amount of trepidation coursing through your veins, you lift your hand to the door of Secondo’s office and give two firm knocks, attempting to ignore the knot in your stomach as you await a response. After a moment or two, his voice rings sharp and clear through the wood-panelled door.

“Enter.”

You gather yourself and push open the door, taking a few short steps into the room. Secondo, seated at his desk, clearly in the middle of some paperwork, lifts his head to meet your gaze. Placing his pen down, he steeples his fingers and leans forward slightly as he addresses you.

“Ah. Welcome. Do you know why I have summoned you?”

“No, Papa,” you lie.

Even underneath his paint, you see him quirk an eyebrow. He hums, reaching into a drawer, retrieving his phone and placing it on the surface of the desk, screen facing you. He beckons you to come closer, and you reluctantly oblige. Reluctantly, because you know you’re facing your own oblivion in bright illuminated text. Since last night you’ve been living in desperate, foolish hope that what is currently happening might not happen. As you lean in close to assess the damage, a small, involuntary groan escapes you. You’re looking, as you knew you would be, at the message thread between you and Secondo on his personal, private number.

This was Terzo’s fault. You’ve been known to blame many of your personal problems on Terzo, but this one was indisputable. 

“Personally,” he’d said, leaning over to purr into your ear as the two of you watched Secondo conduct mass, “I think you should tell him.” 

From your latecomers’ vantage point at the back of the chapel, you’d torn your eyes from the altar, from Secondo, and looked at Terzo incredulously. Oh, here we go. Terzo is doling out romantic advice again. Perfect.

“I don’t want to do that,” you’d said. You don’t. You do. 

Terzo had rolled his eyes at this, and tutted condescendingly.

“Have it your way. I would advise doing something to halt your descent into madness, though. When I am battling my feelings-”

“What feelings?”

“When I am battling my feelings,” he continues, “Here is what I do. I draft a little paragraph on my phone. I go into excruciating detail about my wants and desires. Let it all out, you know. I imagine sending it to them. And then I delete it. It is almost as good as an honest conversation.”

“Right,” you’d said dismissively, fixing your attention on Secondo at the altar once again and ignoring your quickening heartbeat. What a silly idea.

And there you were just a few hours later, lying on your bed, phone aloft in front of your face, typing furiously in the text box below Secondo’s name. The content of the messages between the two of you before tonight had been consummately professional- indeed, he’d only furnished you with his number last week due to the number of errands you’d been volunteering to run for him of late. But what you were writing here was the absolute antithesis of professional. You’d paused to assess your work. Utter filth. A culmination of every idle thought, every active fantasy you’d had about the man in the months since you’d first laid eyes on him. 

You wonder how he’d respond if he could see this, if he only knew. Would it take him completely by surprise? You’ve been so, so well-behaved around him. It’s been nigh impossible for you to figure out how you’d even approach the idea of flirting with Secondo, and the embarrassment of being knocked back may just destroy you. So you’ve simply not bothered to try. But Lucifer, what you’ve thought. 

Satisfied, you’d pressed backspace, holding your finger down and watching your most depraved dreams disappear before your very eyes-

And then you’d dropped your phone on your face before you’d finished, hitting you square on the nose and making your eyes water. Scrambling to pick it up, you’d turned it over to see something that made your heart drop out of your arse. You hadn’t finished deleting. And you’d pressed send. Possibly with your nose, which was impressive.

Immediately, without even registering how much of your message had made it to Secondo, you’d done the only logical thing and turned your phone off in a panic. When in doubt, deny. Perfect strategy. Hey, maybe you’d even get away with it.

As you look at Secondo’s screen, it becomes apparent you haven’t gotten away with it. Until about twenty seconds ago you’d been clinging onto a vague hope that the letter of summoning that had been pushed under your door this morning was concerning…literally anything else. Alas. Your crime is staring you in the face.

More specifically, what is staring you in the face is your own words. You suppose it could have been a lot worse, really. Most of the evidence was gone, and what remained-

Papa, I need to tell you how much I want you to p

“When I gave you my number,” Secondo says, dragging your attention away from the screen and back to his stare, “it was for business, not pleasure.”

“I know, Papa. I’m sorry.” 

Even if you could play it off as the start of a message that wasn’t about what you wanted Secondo to do to you, you absolutely can’t excuse the fact that you’d sent it at half past eleven at night. Absolutely inappropriate for a work-related enquiry.

Secondo barely acknowledges your apology, merely continuing to hold your gaze. You fall into an uncomfortable silence.

You reckon you could make a clean exit if you vaulted out of the window. Enthusiastic sprint, hand on the windowsill, over and out. Secondo’s office is only on the second floor, you’d probably be alright. It would be preferable to this.

After what feels like an eternity, Secondo speaks again.

“Well?”

“...Well?” you repeat slowly, somewhat at a loss.

He leans back slightly in his chair, exuding nothing but sheer, relaxed confidence.

“Well? Does that sentence have an ending?”

It does. It has a very creative ending. Is he…asking to hear it? The thought simultaneously thrills you and terrifies you. There’s not a chance you can repeat what you wrote so unashamedly last night, not to his face. Not when he’s looking at you like that.

You nod. It feels less committal. Secondo tilts his head just a fraction.

“It seemed very important. If you want something, you should be direct about it. Here, I will go first. I want you to tell me the ending to your sentence. And I want you to be honest.”

Ah, fuck. At present, you don’t think you have the capacity to lie. All you can think about is…

“It said,” you begin before you can help it, “I need to tell you how much…I want you to push me against a wall and kiss me.”

You’ve done it now. There’s a wave of adrenaline crashing over you, a mix of nerves and sheer exhilaration, and your hands are trembling. You realise you’re holding your breath. Secondo’s response causes you to exhale sharply. 

“And is that a sentiment you stand by this morning?”

“Yes.” 

“Close the door.”

Without thinking, you obey, turning to retrace your steps. As you approach the door you hear the scrape of Secondo’s chair on the floor; when you push on the heavy wood you count footsteps behind you. The door shuts. You turn. Secondo is right behind you, and still he barely slows his pace as he closes the last remaining distance between you. You let him back you up against the door, and in an instant his mouth is on yours. Secondo kisses you fiercely, tongue pushing into your mouth, his body pressed hard against you. You kiss him just as relentlessly, sinking back against the door, desperate to feel Secondo’s weight pinning you where you stand. Gloved hands find your hips.

Eventually, you part, breathless. Secondo’s eyes are ablaze as he looks down upon you, and it might be the delirium talking but you could swear he has the faintest suggestion of a smile playing across his lips. He leans in, giving you one gentle, final kiss. Then, he shifts, taking a step backwards and releasing his hold on you. You miss the pressure. 

“I would say it is worth being direct, hm?” he says. “Next time I expect you to be more forthright.”

“Next time?” you say, still bracing yourself against the door. There’s a chance your legs might still give out. Secondo hums.

“I will permit you to contact me outside business hours,” he says. “As long as you are confident in your desires. As long as you are…explicit.”

He reaches past you to grasp the doorknob, waiting patiently for you to peel yourself off the door before easing it open. Politely, he gestures to the corridor beyond.

“You are dismissed.”

You nod shakily. The past ten minutes have been something of an adventure. As you cross the threshold of Secondo’s office, you hear his voice, soft, behind you.

“I look forward to your next message.”

So do you. As you make your way back to your room, you pull out your phone and finally turn it back on. You’ll show him just how explicit you can be.

#the band ghost #the band ghost fanfic #secondo #secondo x reader

[d34dlysinner]

Valefor x reader

I am clearing my drafts so. Instead of deleting this I'll post it. Will probably post more drafts or fics I wrote soon.

A short drabble of Valefor and MC facesitting. Will probably make this a proper fic later on since I liked this idea-

KINDA SMUT SO, Minors DNI

Hope you enjoy!

~AFAB, GN MC~

Valefor was in shock when you asked to try something new out. It was very lewd, yes. But he honestly loved that you felt comfortable enough to have him eat you out while you sit on his face.

The only problem is… He never showed his scar. The reason why he was wearing this mask.

He didn't want to creep you out or make you feel guilty since he heard from others that human morals and beauty standards are 'stricter' than demons.

"… I would love to, but…", he started as he started to think of what you'd say when you saw the scar.

His hand went up to his mask as a reflex. You understood that he was somewhat insecure of whatever happened to his face. and maybe he wanted to take his time getting comfortable with you.

"We don't have to do it no-", you started but were cut off by the tall man.

"I would love to, but will you promise to not hate me when you see the scar?", he asked.

The question was so absurd that you had to rethink about what he said.

"Hate?… Val… I could never hate you.", you said as you were bewildered by his choice of words. 'Hate'… A guy like him? You could never hate him.

"What made you think that I would?", you asked.

"I just heard that humans have less tolerance to certain things and just… That they wouldn't like seeing or showing these things?", he responded.

You didn't understand how a loud, happy and handsome guy like him could ever say something like that to you.

"Val… I wouldn't hate you or turn away from you. No matter how bad it is.", you said.

Those words were all he needed to return to his happy state.

"If that's true then- Yes! I would like to try that with you!", he said loudly.

He didn't waste any time dragging you to his chambers as he took off the top of his clothes and hesitantly took of his mask.

The scar was serious, but it didn't mean that you'd refuse him.

"You're handsome.", you said as you gave him a deep kiss. He gladly returned the kiss. Pulling you against him while helping you strip down.

Valefor felt lighter. Not because he discarded the armor he always wears, but because you didn't even flinch when he first showed you his full face. He was totally smitten when it came to you and you could notice it. He seemed so soft, happy and at the same time very needy at that moment.

He slowly pulled away from you to lie down.

"Ready?", he asked as he held you by your wrists. Tugging very lightly to ask if you want to start it now.

He waited while you moved up and lined your most intimate place with his face. He gave you a reassuring smile when you looked down.

He lightly blows air, making you shiver, before he made a long path of saliva over your thigh to your pussy. Stopping at your clit to lightly suck on it and soon after release it.

He adored the tiny sounds you made and how shy you seemed at that exact moment. He used his strength to pull you down before he started his onslaught of licking, sucking and nibbling.

He grunted as he felt his length grow and press against his trousers. That moment he thought that he needs to prepare you well before having you take his length.

His eyes closed as he continued eating you out. He enjoyed your taste just as much as he enjoyed the small sounds you made. He watched how you started to sweat with excitement. You were all he wanted to focus on at that moment.

#whb #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad? #whb thoughts #whb valefor

[merakiui]

Hii!! I love your Lunar Love Hotel event so much! I didn't see any mention of you closing the requests yet, so I hope they're still open! (Otherwise, feel free to delete this.)

I would really like Red Bean Mochi and Blueberry Muffins for Rollo? I adore the idea of him leaving one of those with just the most creepy undertones, and completely anonymous, because it's the only way he can sate these vile feelings for a little while :') But feel free to do whatever you want with the concept!

yandere!rollo flamm x (gender neutral) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors, stalking, obsession, slightly morbid/dark thoughts note - thank you for checking in, dearest guest! enjoy your order! [lunar love hotel]

i. the diary of rollo flamm, in which you will find various love letter drafts and daily musings eloquently scrawled within perfumed pages.

𝓔𝓷𝓽𝓻𝔂 『1』

For the hour I remained in the café, you smiled a total of thirty-seven times, one smile per customer and one or two depending on coworkers you’re well-acquainted with. I would have counted your every laugh, every blink of your perfect, pretty eyes, but then that would be like counting your every breath, every heartbeat, and it would be impossible to come up with an accurate sum when you’re always so...alive. One breath could be two taken at once, and a single blink could simply be my own eyes shutting and opening before yours do. Therefore, it is impossible to truly quantify your every movement without looking completely, utterly, foolishly enthralled. 

I suppose this feeling is what you might call love. For all of the romances I have read and all of the romances I have witnessed in this city, whether intentional or not, the love I feel is not bitter or sweet like some might describe. It simply exists; it lights a crackling flame within the concrete hearth that is my heart. I should liken it to warmth—to linens fresh from the dryer or spiced mulberries or bright, dancing fire. It is comforting like the winter coat I don in order to combat this deathly chill. 

I have never felt this way before. 

Today, when I ducked inside to avoid the frigid snowfall outside, the bell above the door announced my arrival, and you were there at the register as always. You smiled at me, once when our eyes met and a second time when you had asked me how I was doing and I had said, “Cold.” You laughed, but I am not a comedian. I will not pretend to be one for your sake, but I appreciate your hospitality all the same. Your optimism, even if manufactured for the customer, is inviting. 

Perhaps you reserve such reactions for me?

I visit this café every Sunday at exactly 10:30 in the morning. It’s important to be methodical in every aspect of one’s life. Schedules are necessary; they create order and peace. I have visited so often that you know me as a regular. You know my name and how it’s spelled. You write your L’s slanted and your O’s pumpkin-shaped (most likely because Halloween is approaching and it’s your attempt at being festive, even if the O’s look more like obscure shapes than pumpkins). You look at me when I step over the threshold into a room of coffee-scented comforts and you say, “A warm croissant and a cup of classic espresso with milk and foam, right?” And I nod every time.

You know me well. I will know you even better. 

Your name tag reads (Name). It’s a lovely name. I could write lines of wonderful words describing the way it feels when I speak it to myself in front of a mirror or when I whisper it late at night as though it’s a secret. But I will not, as I am not usually very poetic, and that is a task suited for a poet, which I am not. 

Surely you have a surname. Most often do. However, in the event that you are lacking one or are not too fond of the one you currently possess, you are welcome to take mine.

𝓔𝓷𝓽𝓻𝔂 『2』

My first attempt at a love letter is as follows:

You are the warmth that melts icecaps and reshapes glaciers. No, not quite. Am I trying to compare you to the catastrophe that is global warming? Think romantically, Rollo. This is the City of Flowers, after all. Surely there are better phrasings...

You are melodious like the Bell of Salvation like the sweetest birdsong. You are warm and fluffy like a croissant. You are love incarnate. If I could pry you open rib by rib and live within your beating, blood-filled heart, we would be together forever. Bound eternally by flesh and blood.

These lines feel rather crude. How do romance authors capture the complexities of love so easily? Beautiful words come from the deepest pits of the heart, or so they all claim. The words I wish to tell you come from my very soul, yet I cannot seem to transcribe them here. Should I be direct? But then blunt honesty is not nearly as romantic as flowery prose.

Dearest, sweetest you,

For every smile you grant me, I live another year in good health. For every syllable of laughter and delight I hear, I feel inclined to give you the world, whether in ruins or not, if only to witness your happiness.

I suppose a start is a start, even if it’s a depressingly abysmal one. I hope this week passes fast. I’d like to see you as soon as possible for some much-needed inspiration and, of course, so I can watch you.

𝓔𝓷𝓽𝓻𝔂 『3』 

I arrived at the usual time, but you were too absorbed in conversation with a customer to notice me. I consider myself a fair, level-headed man, and for that reason envy is not usually an issue. But the casual manner with which that fool wrote their number on your arm, tattooing your perfect, pretty skin in sinful ink... You smiled and laughed with them, promising to call them after your shift, your perfect, pretty eyes ablaze with excitement or wonder or awe or... I’d much sooner poke them out with sewing needles than witness you fawn over numbers. I watched all of it from my place in line, gripping my handkerchief in such a tight fist my knuckles blanched. 

You should know jealousy makes a man like myself monstrous.

It’s important that I keep this diary to detail all of my innermost desires so that I won’t feel compelled to act on them. But in that moment I had wished that, if you were to receive a phone number, it would have been given to you on a piece of paper. Paper is easy to shred and discard and burn. It is not an easy feat to sever an arm from the elbow. 

But I can be patient, as I often am, so that you will come to love me in the same way I love you. 

I write this as I watch you flitting about behind the counter to prepare my espresso. I wonder if you ever catch a break. This café is quiet on Sunday mornings, but I’m certain it’s much more lively during the week. I wonder if it’s ever empty and you sit in here on your phone, waiting for something to happen. I wonder what positions you might like to try on the counter, the tables, the booth I’m sitting in...

I had to shut this diary momentarily when you came to deliver my order. Sometimes I wonder if you would share my sentiments on magic. I almost asked when we talked briefly. Your perfect, pretty fingers were drumming along the circular, silver tray as you looked at me, smiling your perfect, pretty smile. I asked if you were studying anything. You told me you were taking a gap year, and then you had asked if I was a journalist because, in your words, I am “always scribbling away with your nose in that book.”

I suppose I am, in some manner of the word. I smiled at you, sipping from my espresso, and said, “The subject I’m studying is very special. One-of-a-kind, you might say.” A poor excuse at flirting.

I am not a flirt, and I would never pretend to be one. I am genuine in all aspects of my life, especially when it comes to love. You must know this. 

You were going to ask me to elaborate, but the bell at the door announced the arrival of more customers and you drifted away from me with an apologetic smile. I caught sight of the number scrawled on your arm as you retreated. Magic could numb you well enough while I bring the blade down, so fast it will be but a mere flash. I should not cut your arm. I should not hurt you.

I should not love you to this extent. 

Like the Crimson Lotus, you are a vibrant, fiery temptation. I fear the contents of my chest have already been reduced to ash. 

𝓔𝓷𝓽𝓻𝔂 『4』

The Crimson Lotus requires adequate nutrients like any other flower, though such nutrients are distinctive to this species. Unlike normal blossoms, the Crimson Lotus is parasitic in nature, sustaining itself with magic. You might liken them to the average pest, whether human or insect, or a fire that will only grow when fed more fuel. I could compose an entire novel on cultivation techniques and facts. I could also set these flowers loose and watch them wreak havoc on the city. The students from Night Raven College will be visiting soon, with a certain Malleus Draconia being among them. I wonder if they’re fond of parting gifts, by which I mean parting with their oh-so-treasured magic.

I hope you aren’t a mage. If you are, I’m afraid I might have to hurt you.

Rambling aside, I shall try my hand at a love letter once again.

Dearest, sweetest you, 

You are the joyous scents and sounds of lively city streets, of bakers boasting fresh, fluffy bread, of florists flaunting floral arrangements in all colors and species, of townsfolk turning the city upside-down come festival time. You are the golden glow that befalls the land when the sun rises, and you are the silvery shimmer that swathes all who sleep under the moon’s watchful illumination.

You are the air I breathe. The air I need. You are the bell who should rightfully reside within the tower I will construct. The tower of my heart? The tower of true love? If I could climb inside your skin, I might come to know the real you.

Perhaps I should pick up another romance soon. I know nothing of poetry or love letters. 

𝓔𝓷𝓽𝓻𝔂 『5』

I followed you home today. 

I am a fair, level-headed man, and so for that reason I know not to cross the law. But can you possibly expect a man of my nature to remain lawful when he is in love? They say love should surpass all. Does this not include the law? Does this not include morals and standards? If love is so mighty and marvelous, then why might some label my actions wrong and wicked? Is this not just a form of protection?

I do not intend to scare you. I do not intend to make you feel unsafe. 

I followed you home today, and you did not notice. How could you when you had headphones on?

You live in an apartment on the third floor. If I counted correctly, you should be seventh or eighth from the entrance to the stairs, tucked neatly away near the end of the hall. Perhaps I should make a copy of your key so that I can immerse myself in your privacy. 

I am a fair, level-headed man, and so I will not steal anything. But if you do find something of yours has gone missing—whether a personal item or what you think is insignificant trash—I have merely borrowed it for my own use. I cannot promise whether I might return this borrowed item, but I can at least promise that it will be put to good use. 

I could construct a doll in your likeness. I would need clothing, perhaps hair, skin, teeth, a tongue to entwine around mine... That’s morbid, isn’t it? Fitting for Halloween, but grotesquely harrowing. A silent doll who resembles its human counterpart in all aspects but the vibrancy of life... I’d much rather have the real you than a patchwork doppelgänger. If I tried my hand at fashioning you from needle and thread, I would just create a corpse. There are artists who only paint pain and misery, hence why we now look at certain paintings and consider them cursed. I am not a poet or a doll-maker, so I will not write poetry and I will not stitch dolls together. 

I am not a villain.

The urge to knock on your door had seized me then, when I stood in the hall in front of what I assumed was your door, my fist raised in preparation to knock thrice. Superstition says that if you receive three knocks on your door or windowpane, someone you love will have been taken away by Death within three days, weeks, months. I suppose Death does not need to conform to time after which the three knocks have been granted. Well, I believe in no such things, and I am not Death. 

But you’ll certainly think I am when you can’t see me.

𝓔𝓷𝓽𝓻𝔂 『6』

Before I welcome the Night Raven College students, I visited you. You weren’t home. It was Sunday. 10:30 in the morning. I slid a letter under your door. Sugared thoughts are sealed inside with red wax. I’m not afraid to admit here that I am not entirely confident in my prose, hence why I’ve left it anonymous. I’ve penned the exact letter here for my sake, should I ever need to flip through these pages again to remind myself of the frustrations I conquered just to craft a single love letter. 

Dearest, sweetest you,

I have never felt this way before. When I spy you through the window, I feel as if the stars have aligned to fix the very fate which has led me to you. Your smile is invigorating; your laughter is an enchanting melody. Perhaps you reserve such reactions for me? In that regard, you know me well. I will know you better.

I am not a flirt, and I would never pretend to be one. I am genuine in all aspects of my life, especially when it comes to love. You must know this. Unfortunately, it’s saddening to see how easily you fall prey to simple pleasantries. Infuriating, almost. You should know jealousy makes a man like myself monstrous. But I can be patient, as I often am, so that you will come to love me in the same way I love you. 

Like the Crimson Lotus, you are a vibrant, fiery temptation. I fear the contents of my chest have already been reduced to ash. I should not love you to this extent.

I hope you aren’t a mage. If you are, I’m afraid I might have to hurt you, if only to show you right from wrong. I followed you home today, and you did not notice. How could you when you had headphones on? I do not intend to scare you. I do not intend to make you feel unsafe. I only wish to love from afar for now.

I am not a villain, but you’ll certainly think I am when you can’t see me. 

#yandere twst #yandere twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere rollo flamm #yandere rollo flamm x reader #yandere rollo #yandere rollo x reader #lunar love hotel 2023

[gingeraleluke]

congrats on 2k!! Heartbeat: vinnie hacker; easy by camila cabello <3

𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘆

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: vinnie hacker x fem!influencer reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: vinnie’s girlfriend thinks she’s too difficult to love.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: arguing, angsty/fluff, vinnie being aggravated, insecure reader, and uh….smutty

𝗔/𝗡: hi guys. i’ve been away from tumblr for a while and apologize for the hiatus. i’ve been dealing with a lot and have been somewhat open about it on here so i appreciate all of the love you guys have been sending me. i didn’t forget about you, im just healing. i love you guys and hope you enjoy <3

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

you tell me that i’m complicated

and that might be an understatement

anything else?

vinnie had his eyes glued to his phone, not noticing how his girlfriends jaw was clenched and her arms were crossed, closing herself off. “i just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me earlier, this is just gonna be way more complicated now.”

“because i didn’t feel that way earlier!” the baggy shirt she wore hung off her bare shoulders, as she internally reconsidered her decision. it was difficult for her to separate her feelings with her wants in times like these.

vinnie wouldn’t fight back, but she could tell he was annoyed as he scrummaged through his social media and deleted the photos and videos. “i don’t get why this is so complicated for you.”

complicated.

a word that she had heard more times than she’d like to admit, described perfectly for her. her biggest fear and most agonizing worry was that she would be just that— too complicated— and hearing the word leave her boyfriends lips, she felt that it was all coming to fruition.

“i wasn’t trying to be complicated, i just…i didn’t wanna keep it from you.” she apologized, feeling herself become sick to her stomach with guilt.

you tell me that i’m indecisive

fickle but i try to hide it

anything else?

“i don’t get what—why are you changing your mind all of a sudden? what happened? i thought you were asleep, it’s like…2am..” he checked the clock dropping his phone on the couch. “well it’s all deleted now. i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable.” he both his hands on the back of his head while looking up at the ceiling.

“you didn’t! i promise, you didn’t, i just… don’t wanna exist on the internet right now.”

vinnie snapped his head back, leering at the girl, “see, now that makes no sense.”

“what?” she whined, trying not to get him upset as he made his way over to her.

“you can’t just delete yourself from the internet whenever you feel like it, baby. you’re an influencer—“

“yeah, who barely shows her face on camera! i don’t make thirst traps and when i do, they stay in the drafts.”

“that’s my problem?”

“no! i just, i didn’t like the pictures, okay?”

“but you liked them when you first saw them, so why wait fifteen hours to say something? where is this indecision coming from?”

“no where! i always had it, i just…i don’t know.”

you tell me that i overthink

till i ruin a good thing

anything else?

“yeah, well, i do know. you’re overthinking just like you always do. you can never just let something be good, you always have to ruin it for yourself.” vinnie argued, shoving by her and walking down the stairs.

y/n stood there, complacent. she hated arguing with him and she felt like even more of a burden now.

why couldn’t you just leave it be?

maybe you didn’t even look that bad in those videos..

maybe everything he’s saying is right.

he suppressed a sigh when he heard his girlfriends footsteps following after him, hoping that she would just drop it and leave it be. he kissed his teeth, turning towards the kitchen while shaking his head slightly, his eyes rolling backwards in annoyance.

“you’re right.”

vinnie scoffed, keeping his back turned while his hands continued peeling a banana. “i know i’m right.”

“i don’t know why i do it. i don’t mean to, i just… am hard on myself, and you’re right, i should have said something sooner and i’ll make a post about it if people ask questions, i just..i didn’t feel…”

“what? you didn’t feel what?” an annoyed vinnie dropped the banana on the counter and turned around, not expecting to see the girl he loved so upset. he couldn’t tell from her voice that she was crying, but there she was; lips pouty and eyelids low while tears slid down her cheeks. his face immediately softened.

“sometimes i don’t feel like a good person.” her bottom lip quivered and her feet were planted into the floor. she held her hands together, clasped, like she was trying to apologize and she’d bat her lashes while looking up at the kitchen light, as to dry them.

vinnie’s heart broke.

“i know i am, but…i feel like other people deserve my life more than i do..” she couldn’t hold the tears back anymore and gasped slightly before continuing. “i-i know it’s like..stupid, but, i just feel guilty all the time like i’m not doing enough or not grateful enough and i don’t know why, i don’t know, i wish i did, i swear, vinnie.” she wiped her cheek with the back of her hand before letting her arms fall and a sign escape her lips. “i just..have a voice in the back of my head that constantly tells me i’m too much to handle and that i’m not built for this. for you.”

there it was. that rush of blood that shot to her head every time she spoke up to vinnie. she wasn’t sure what it was, maybe something from her past or maybe she was just wired this way, but she was constantly terrified of upsetting him. arguments weren’t her thing and made her physically sick if she even thought about it, but vinnie was the most stubborn person she had ever met so once you start the conversation with him, there is no stopping it.

“hey..” he cooed, walking around the kitchen island and making his way towards her. he leaned down to meet her level and softly pressed her head against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. he could feel her cry quietly in his arms. “shh, baby. it’s okay,” he whispered, leaving deep kisses on the top of her head.

you tell me that you’d rather fight

than spend a single peaceful night

with somebody else

“i’m sorry, okay? i was a little harsh, it’s not a big deal. please don’t cry about it.” he slowly rocked her back and forth, keeping her trapped in his arms. she put her hands up against his chest, trying to push and snake her way out of his grasp.

“hey—“

“no, vinnie. it’s me, you’re right, okay? i don’t wanna argue or talk about it anymore, i’m just gonna go to bed.” she turned around, clearly still upset. vinnie moved his hand up her arm, lightly tugging her back to him.

“no, baby. stop. we aren’t arguing anymore, i just wanna talk about it.”

“no, vin, because then we will argue and you’ll get mad at me—“

“baby, listen!“ he put his hands on both sides of her face, making her look at him. “what’s going on with you?”

“nothing, vin! i just wanna leave you be—“

“but i don’t want you to leave me be. i want you, only you, whether you’re upset or not. i’d rather argue with you than spend a night with somebody else.”

“yeah, i find that hard to believe.” y/n scoffed, shaking her head.

you really, really know me

the future and the old me

all the mazes and the madness in my mind

“stop, okay? let’s-let’s just go sit down in bed and we can talk it through and figure something out, i don’t want you to go to bed upset.” vinnie trailed behind the girl as she began walking away.

“i don’t want to, vinnie. i’m tired.” she complained, groaning internally, and there it was; that trite excuse that would continuously fall from her lips whenever they bickered late at night.

“no, okay? you always say that, i’m not stupid. we are talking and then you can go to bed. i’m not ending this here.” he watched her, his hand resting on the side of the door frame while she dropped onto their bed, on top of the covers.

“just end it here.”

“no.”

“why not?” she could hear his voice come closer as he sat beside her, her back facing him.

“because, i know you and i know that you will stay up all night overthinking and then you’ll wake up sad in the morning with a migraine and act like everything is okay when it’s not and i’m fucking sick of doing that, i want you comfortable.”

he knows me so well.

you really, really love me

you know me and you love me

and it’s the kind of thing i always hoped to find

y/n shifted over so she was facing him, but kept her eyelids low and fixated on the bed. “hey.”

“mm”

“look at me.” vinnie’s voice was soft and caring in a way that made her entire being almost dissipate in thin air from it’s adorableness. he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear while she gained the courage to look up at him. she couldn’t help the small smile that appeared when she saw his face.

“now i’m gonna say this once, and i want you to listen, okay? because i’m not good with words and i tend to be an idiot sometimes.” y/n chuckled and nodded, waiting for him to finish.

“i love you. like, i really fucking love you, okay? i don’t care what happens or what anyone things, all i care about is us and i want us to be happy and i’ll do whatever i need to make that happen, okay? you’re mine. i don’t care about whatever it is that you freak out about in your head, okay? that’s not real. my love for you is real. you got that?”

always thought i was hard to love till you made it seem so easy, seem so easy

y/n nodded, leaning forwards and clinging onto him. “i know. i know and i love you more vinnie, i swear i do.”

“are you okay now? do you feel any better?”

“yes, actually. you make me feel really safe, vin. i hope you know that.” vinnie grabbed the side of her face and connected his lips to hers, cutting off any other words from leaving her lips. the kiss felt loving, yet desperate.

“um..are you gonna go to bed?” their mouths were just mere inches apart and his breathing was borderline heavy.

“not for a little while, i was just gonna edit some stuff, why?”

“because you um…you look really fucking hot when you wear my clothes and it’s kinda turning me on.”

“oh, really?”

touch me till i find myself never fearing

tell me with your hands that you’re never leaving

“yeah, is that bad? i know you were literally just crying a second ago so—yeah, that’s bad. fuck—i’m sorry—“

“no! it’s not bad.” she sat up and wrapped one leg around his torso, straddling him. she was barely even touching him, and yet she could feel him tense up and his breath hitch. “seeing how much you care about me was kinda turning me on too..”

“oh, really?”

“mmhmm.”

“good to know.” he smirked, stopping once he felt her body weight move forwards, his hard on making it hard for him to keep it together. “god, shit. look, baby, can i please just fucking worship you for a second. we don’t even have to fuck, i just wanna see you naked, please.”

“i’m not gonna stop you—“ she was cut off by him sitting up and pushing her down, her back pressed against the bed and her hair dangling down the side.

“mm, you know how badly i wish you didn’t hate yourself? like, fuck, i’m looking at you right now and i can’t even think straight and that’s not because i’m turned on, that’s how it is for me all the time when i see you, and i’ll do whatever i can to make you see yourself like that.” he scooted towards the other side of the bed, grabbing her ankles. “move you over for me.” he mumbled, “come closer? there you go.”

“you left your phone and banana in the kitchen.”

“does it look like i care?” vinnie chuckled, towering over her and slowly creeping the hem of her shirt up, exposing her belly button. “i’ve got all i need right here.”

i never liked my crooked teeth

you tell me they’re your favorite thing

anything else?

his hands were cold and the feeling of them on her hips was driving her crazy. “mm, so pretty. what a pretty girl.” while the sight of her panties was arousing enough, he moved up back to her face, sitting up between her legs. “can i have you do something for me, baby?”

“what?”

“you think you can suck my fingers while i kiss on your neck?”

“i’d love to.” she practically moaned, smiling while he lightly shoved his digits into her mouth before arching his back and letting his head drop between her neck, watching her suck on his fingers while kissing on her jawline.

“pretty fucking lips, pretty fucking teeth, pretty fucking face.” he reached a hand up to pet back her hair as she continued sucking, his lips making there way down her neck. “god, let me see your tits..” he muttered, ripping his shirt up and over her head and removing his fingers.

“so pretty. so pretty when you’re naked like this.” vinnie took her neck into his hand, feverishly kissing her. “good job, so good.”

she whimpered a reply while he moved his hands down the sides of her body. he left small kisses down her stomach while keeping eye contact with her, his messy hair covering his eyebrows.

stretch marks all around my thighs

kiss em till i change my mind

about everything else

“mmm, vinnie please—“

“be patient.”

y/n jolted at the sudden feeling of his lips against her inner thighs, leaving sloppy kisses. “fuck, vinnie.”

“mm, pretty stretch marks. god, they are so fucking sexy.” she involuntarily tangled her fingers into his hair, watching as he kissed over her thighs. “fucking love you. never leaving you, ever.”

“please don’t.”

he looked up at his girlfriend, rising back up to meet her face. “never will.”

he mumbled into her lips, leaving a few more kisses on her neck, before traveling back down between her thighs.

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker x reader #2k sleepover #heartbeat

[laeteria]

It seems I never posted this here, so…

You may, or may have not, stumbled across this video, but yeah… My Tumblr is kinda dead, so I thought it isn't that bad of an idea to drop this one here as well.

There are some notes in the description, so before you go attack me because I haven't added XX role to YY seiyuu, please read the description 👊😔

Some Tumblr exclusive notes under the cut ✨

Why Paradox Live?

Yeah, I know I said I was not posting about Paradox Live anymore and considering the fact that the video was posted in October 2023, it seems pretty recent. However, I have been working on this video for AGES. I think that I will end up in somewhere in 2022(?) starting this video. I was still into Paradox Live and I had dreams to introduce people to it. Too bad that I'm a procrastinator… I mean, I could have chosen IDOLiSH7 as starting point as well, but Paradox Live had a bigger cast :)

My motivation to work on it

Guys, I'm not even kidding. I was planning to use Paradox Live to (hopefully) get some people into Argopro. The project had some difficulties and I wanted to pull people into it, so I did it in a very roundabout way. After all, not a lot of Paradox Live seiyuus are in Argopro like bro what am I even doing!? When starting with the roles of Kajiwara Gakuto (Allen's VA), there were barely any solos for Haruka (his role in Argopro). I remember downloading/ripping the audio of Orthros, because that song was barely introduced. Good old times.

What did I want to achieve with this video?

Guys, I'm just a girl who really likes sharing her interests and I'm a big fan of listening to music of several music projects because I think they are nice and they are different from other music if that makes any sense + you can listen to your favourite seiyuus!!! This was a video for my close friends because I always try to get them to listen to songs or to check out projects. This was merely a tool I used, I guess. My friends love me and I love them. In the end, it wasn't even needed because I post plenty enough on my insta story.

How I made the video

Bros, let me tell you. This was one hell of a dumpster fire of making this video. I'm not kidding. If you think you you can do it, go for it. I will never do it again.

I made the video on my phone. My phone has seen better days, y'all. I first made the template in Ibispaintx and after that I went into YouCut to put the audio over it. I absolutely hated it because you couldn't delete the files if you had the videos in draft (otherwise it will get corrupted which makes sense), but it took a lot of storage. I ended up saving them seperately per character, but the pain I had to go through everytime I made a mistake was painful.

This video is like 22 minutes long, but it took me nearly 2 years to finish it ( •̥ࡇ•̥ )

A little extra for you all <3

I still have the very first version of this video, so I thought, I might as well upload it for others to check out how ewww it kinda is, lmao. It was such a rough draft, but you can't have it all, right? Here is the link (the video is still unlisted, so you won't find it online if you don't have the link).

Another extra, which are the Paradox Live edits (this is a link to my Amino post, so yeah, it's a hell hole ngl) I did 4 years ago. I wanted to use one of them as my thumbnail actually, but I decided not too because people may not be used to that and thus may consider it over the top…

#am i maybe dumb…!? #idolish7 #paradox live #argonavis #from argonavis #a3! #actors #clock over orquesta #bang dream #d4dj #Dig rock #Dragon's bite #Enlightribe #Ensemble stars #Fabulous Night #Gamdol #Given #hanadoll #Heavenlyhelly #helios rising heroes #HoneyWorks #Kare wa Vocalist #Lemon Squash Score #live us #Perfection Noise #Milgram #station idol latch #Technoroid #Tokyo Revengers #Tsukipro

[babiejeeves]

[explanation: I fucking accidentally posted a draft, panicked and deleted it, therefore deleting the question that was asked. Because I’m the dumbest mf alive and I don’t know how tf tumblr works. So to the anon that asked I am SO sorry]

the question was along the lines of “when do jmart figure out they have crushes on eachother”

similarly to canon, Martin has always kind of been aware of his fondness for Jon comparable to other people. I don’t think he necessarily places his finger on the fact that his feelings are romantic until after his mum is in hospice in his tweenage years. I like to think the first few months into his gay panic he’s a bit awkward, but he eventually relaxes and settles on the “I’d do anything for him regardless of whether I am his friend of something more” kind of thought process. Martin loves Jon very much, and everyone knows it. He reads Jon’s book recommendations, he makes them friendship bracelets, when he was seven, Jon’s cat escaped and he fell out of a tree rescuing him, hence his missing tooth. And just like in canon, he is never without a thermos of tea.

In contrast, Jon is questioned quite often as to whether he’s Martin’s actual friend, or if he simply tolerates him. Jon replies by calling them all daft, because he loves Martin. It is subtle, but for those who are looking it’s quite obvious. Martin is the only person Jon allows to provide physical comfort to him—Hugging, handshakes, closeness and such. When they were young, Jon would open up trading card packs beforehand and go through them so Martin could have the better cards, and blame the open packaging on the cat. Jon puts his book down when Martin speaks to him. Jon looks Martin in the eyes. For Jon, it’s the little things, and Martin has the map straight to his little ol’ heart. I don’t personally think Jon is oblivious to his feelings for Martin, he simply is content with what they have, but if he were ever asked he would most likely say something along the lines of “if he ever asked me to go out with him, I wouldn’t say no.”

phew. SO. with that being said, I offer you 12y/o jmart for your soul, and a sprinkle of stupid blushy teens

#art under the cut thingy idk how to tumblr #tma #childhood friends au #the magnus archives #tma fanart #the magnus pod #jon sims #jonathan sims #jonmartin #martin blackwood #jmart #jmart fanart #tma headcanons

[dedicatednotobsessed]

“Anonymous said:

hii, I thought I’d make a request hehe. since I loved the modern Aemond fic, maybe we could get another modern Aemond x Fem reader? 👀

I was thinking of academic rivals in college. People think u both hate each other due to being competitive in academics, but they don’t know that the two of u are secretly dating. hMM I guess at first u guys hate each other, but one day at the library, the two of u bonded and slowly u fell in love with each other. then one day, the two of u got caught at a library making out or at his dorm while Aemond is sneaking u in and got a surprise visit from his siblings or friend, it’s up to you what idea pops into ur head haha :) which leads to them admitting their relationship.

Thank u 🥹”

Dear anon, I posted it prematurely (my brain is on tired mode and accidentally pressed post instead of changing to save draft 😂) and it wouldn’t let me switch to save draft so I had to delete it but thankfully I took a screenshot of your prompt!! Hopefully you see this 💕 For more Aemond/Ewan + other HOTD characters/actors requests, submit it through my ask box 💚

Academic Love [Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader]

Other HOTD stories [requests open]

Gif doesn’t belong to me 💚

Summary: It has been well known throughout the halls of Westeros’ most prestigious college in Kings Landing, that you and Aemond Targaryen had been rivals for the top spot in your year. You see him constantly in the library and he pesters you to try and distract you until one day you finally give in to his annoyance. That annoyance however eventually leads to something more but, you have to keep up appearances around campus….

You chewed lightly on the end of your pencil, your mind zoning in and out as your eyes scanned over the same page for what felt as though it was the third time. Your mind was wandering and it was not on the history of how Westeros came to be. Your eyes kept flickering across the room to watch the long silver haired boy who only had one eye; the supposed story on how he lost his left eye was his nephew accidentally took it out when he was ten years old. 

You could not believe that the night before you had done the one thing you swore you would never do: you had slept with that long haired silver boy, also known as Aemond Targaryen. He was the second youngest son to the Dean, Viserys Targaryen although it seemed as though his wife ran the school. 

The Iron College was the most prestigious college across all of Westeros, the best of the best getting in. The mascot was a red three headed dragon, the words being Fire and Blood. You thought it was a bit cheesy, but you were just thankful you got in. The process to getting in was a lengthy and tiresome one. 

You clenched your jaw feeling a warm hand on your exposed thigh and slapped at the hand, narrowing your eyes at Aemond as he laughed. 

“You act as though you hate me,” He taunted a bit.

You rolled your eyes and took a deep breath, looking back down at the book in front of you while glaring at it. “What we did was a mistake.”

Aemond smirked lightly as he placed his hand back on your thigh, rubbing it lightly. “Really? Because last night it seemed you were enjoying yourself,” He whispered, leaning close to you.

You suddenly stood up when his hand reached a little too close and you scoffed. You collected your books while stuffing them in your bag. “I do not seem like your type anyway,” You mumbled.

“And how do you know what my type is?” Aemond questioned with a raised brow.

“Well, I heard that you and the rest of your bloodline preferred each other. Is your brother not married to your sister? I am sure you love to fuck her,” You spat.

Aemond laughed a bit, looking over your figure. He couldn’t help but have his eye linger on your dark green mini skirt. You glanced behind you and narrowed your eyes while trying to fix your ridden skirt.

“Fucking pervert,” You mumbled, clutching a book to your chest as you made your exit. 

You sighed, looking down at your feet while you made your way down the crowded hall. Your mind kept wandering to the night before. The way Aemond touched you, it made you feel alive. He knew all the right places to cause you to moan and scream out your name. 

You jumped and yelped feeling someone pinch your bottom and turned around, slapping the boy without a second thought. “What the fuck, Targaryen!” You shouted with narrowed eyes.

Aemond laughed, stepping back a bit. His cheek was red but he had a proud smirk on his lips. “I was just having a little fun, Y/N.”

❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈

You had your head in your hands, feeling as though you just got hit by a truck. You failed your first test ever, but you didn’t blame yourself. You blamed Aemond being a horrible distraction.

You grumbled hearing the chair scraping across the wooden floor, not even lifting your head when you heard the book fall onto the table.

“Y/N,” You heard the familiar voice, a hand lightly coming down onto his shoulder.

You lifted your head, frowning at Aemond. “What do you want?” You grumbled while sitting up.

“I heard you failed the test.”

You laughed a bit. “So, you’ve come to gloat?” You asked with a raised brow. 

Aemond rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to see if I could help you study.”

You looked over him before sighing softly. “Fine,” You mumbled, running a hand through your hair. “But I would know if you give me false information.”

Aemond chuckled with a small smirk. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

It had been a few months since you’ve slept with Aemond and you have had quite a few so-called tutoring sessions since he has helped you with the last test. The first time you slept with him, it was a drunken mistake; your friend Alys Rivers taking you to the bar near campus. That was the last time you were ever going to listen to her...although listening to her led you to have a boyfriend. 

You hummed lightly as you walked through the library, your usual makeout spot with Aemond. The two of you kept your relationship hidden, knowing if it got out, people would definitely make fun of the two of you. You knew especially Aemond’s older brother would tease him and spread rumors.

You had a slight sway to your hips, wearing the mini green skirt that Aemond was wearing and a black blouse to compliment it. You glanced around before a small squeak passed your lips feeling arms wrap around you and looked up to see your boyfriend. 

“What happened to being secretive?” You hissed as you laughed with him.

Aemond smirked while pulling back. “I like scaring you,” He teased, crossing his arms. 

You glanced around letting out a sigh but you still had a smile on your lips. You were thankful that the library was mainly empty apart from a few people who were too concentrated on the computers or books.

 “Are you ready for another tutoring session?” You purred a bit suggestively while tilting your head.

Aemond glanced around with furrowed brows. “I was thinking we could move our study sessions to somewhere else.”

“Oh, really?” You raised a brow. “Where were you thinking?”

Aemond had a mischievous smirk on his lips as he took your hand. “Let me just show you.”

“Aemond, where are we going?”

Aemond held onto your hand tight, glancing down the hallway of the boys dormitories. He held a finger to his lips and you tried to suppress a giggle. You have never seen this side of Aemond. Ever since the two of you got together, he seemed to be a different person. As though he only showed this side to a select few.

The two of you made it to his dormitory, Aemond knocking on the door and opening it after a moment. “Good, that shit isn’t here right now.”

He pulled you in and quickly closed the door behind you. He did not hesitate to kiss you, smiling as you hungrily returned his kiss. You pulled him close by the back of the neck, deepening the kiss a bit while he slowly backed you towards the bed and letting out a laugh when you fell back. 

You smirked up at him while helping him take his shirt off, pulling him down for another kiss. You tangled your fingers in his hair, feeling him unbutton your blouse. You shrugged it off while not breaking the kiss although you jumped hearing a loud knock against the wall.

You and Aemond turned to see Aegon standing at the doorway with a smug smirk on his lips. “What are you doing in here!” Aemond shouted, his body staying over yours so you could have some modesty being in your skirt and bra.

“Well....” Aegon began, looking around. “This is also my room and the door was unlocked. I’m so proud that you finally got it wet though, baby brother,” He teased with a small smirk and laughed when a pillow was thrown at him. “But you really need to learn how to use a knock.”

Aemond groaned as he leaned down, nuzzling into your neck when Aegon left. He left light kisses on your neck. “I’m sorry about him.”

You smiled and lightly placed a hand on Aemond’s chest. “Let’s not have him spoil the moment,” You whispered pulling him in for another kiss.

“Oh, YN! If you are ever dissatisfied with--” Aegon began opening the door once more.

“Get out!” You shouted throwing another pillow at the closed door, Aegon’s laugh being heard on the other side. You laid back on the pillow, looking up at your boyfriend with a sigh. “I blame you.”

Aemond chuckled while sitting up and kissing your cheek lightly. “We’ll continue this later.”

You smirked lightly and poked his bare chest. “Good,” You said before leaning over and kissing him quickly. 

You were surprised to fall for Aemond hard and fast, but he seemed different when he was around you. You actually enjoyed his company and the study sessions were not that bad either. You learned to not judge him too harshly and vice versa. The two of you wanted to be the best in the entire college, but perhaps, you could be the best together.

#hotd #house of the dragon #hbo hotd #hbo house of the dragon #house targaryen #targaryen #aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #aemond one eye #prince aemond #prince aemond targaryen #house of the dragon fanfiction #house of the dragon fanfic #HOTD fanfiction #HOTD fanfic #modern house of the dragon #modern HOTD #Aemond targaryen fanfiction #Aemond targaryen fanfic #modern!aemond #modern!Aemond targaryen #Aemond targaryen x reader #Aemond targaryen x female reader #Aemond targaryen x Fem!reader #Aemond targaryen x you #Aemond targaryen x y/n #house of the dragon AU #HOTD AU #Aemond targaryen AU #fire and blood

[jennamoran]

Nobilis 4 Status

At the Shore - not in yet, but probably mostly the same

rule zero: identified

Intro Chapter #1: some text exists

Interlude 1: written, needs tweaks towards the end

Example of Play 1: currently blank

Intro Chapter #2 (concepts, if a separate chapter): some yellow highlighter and wiggly bits, but done enough that I’m leaving the rest for when I can do a full-book or at least full-opening edit

Setting Chapter #1: solid, pending said edit

Setting Chapter #2: not started, except a bunch of finished text that I thought was going in #3 got dumped here during revision of same.

Setting Chapter #3 (Imperators): done-ish, pending #2 and #4

Setting Chapter #4 (Excrucians): some general text done, other general text floating around in yellow highlighter, one Excrucian type done, another mostly done.

^ (this is where I was today, in between being interrupted every bloody twenty minutes by my timing beep cube to tell me to do my PT.)

Setting Chapter #5: I am not clear if this will exist or not. Not started, anyway, in part because it is one of two different possible things, and I think they may overlap with #2 and #6 respectively.

Setting Chapter #6 (Orders, res, etc): basically done, I had some notes while working on other stuff so I’ll have to look at those.

Example of Play 2: currently blank

The Essence of Nobilis: finished, but possibly dated? Possibly not, I think the most recent rules draft was done before it was.

The Creation of a Campaign: currently blank

Campaign Suggestions: currently blank

Rules Chapter #1-9: done, though slowly accumulating little notes to self and such (e.g., two more magics, currently just blank headings, have appeared in the mortal magics section since I did that bit) as I work on other things.

Interlude: Mystic Links: needs a tonal pass, possibly a couple similar interludes 

Rules Chapter #10-11: done, same as #1-9. Some notes at the end that I need to deal with.

Rules Chapter #12: a decision yet to be made, a bunch of highlighter but mostly just things I need to doublecheck when all is complete

Rules Chapter #13-15: done

Example of Play 3-4: I probably already decided where they go and just missed them while zooming through.

Flowers Design: floating around in the uncertain “possibly will do”

3e-like Lifepath: same

Seven Flowers: someone reminded me of this story that was almost the intro fiction for Nob2 and maybe it will go somewhere, dunno.

Timeline Appendix, Other Appendices: ???

rule one: not yet defined

Index: hahaha

Art: I have a few pieces but mostly this will either wait until I finish layout and then figure out how I’m going to fund it.

Layout: no

It’s currently around 350k words but there’s also a bunch of Nob2 and Nob3 stuff on Excrucians and setting just kind of floating around as placeholder stuff until I overwrite it---not even usable stuff, it’s just there because it’s easier to have it in the same file until it isn’t. I’m guessing it’ll hit 350-370k at the end, after deleting that but also writing the stuff noted above. Glitch was 300k+ words, so if I work closely with layout tweaking sentences until I find versions that work that also save lines that’s ~500 pages; if I don’t, ~650?

#nobilisrpg #nobilis4e

[sopebubbles]

Chapter Eleven

Summary: How many men will it take to save you? To be honest, you’ve gotten pretty used to saving yourself. Even though you’re far from a delicate thing, Los Angeles is a dangerous place you can’t seem to escape no matter how hard you try. The top 7 members of Bangtan should never have crossed your path, but they soon find they’d do just about anything to help you escape your past and make it safe for you to stay. But will you?

Genre: mafia au, poly ot7, angst, some smut, honestly a lot more fluff than i expected, POC reader/oc

A/n: I'm sorry this update is a little shorter than the others! I think thematically it made sense to separate them this way. Also I swear I did not mean to post this on beastie-writes 😪 so I'm sorry if that threw anybody off! I made the update and saw my draft was saved under the wrong name and didn't want to start over. The other chapters will continue on sopebubbles!

A/n 2: I am re-posting this chapter because t*mblr did a t*mblr thing and deleted @/beastie-writes, where this chapter was originally posted. It's not new. Now back to our regular programing.

Warnings: angst and lots of feeling (hopefully good ones too!!)

Word count: 3.8K

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It was easy to fall into a routine at the Bangtan house. You’d wake up in the morning, grab something to eat and chat with Jungkook by the poolside before he left with Namjoon to fulfill their duties. Then you’d “go for a walk” around the house. You told yourself that this was to wear off some of your excess energy and become familiar with the grounds in case you needed to escape, but the fact that your walk ended every day with you finding Yoongi was not lost on either of you. 

Yoongi was endeared to see the way you would shuffle and stare at your feet, asking him what he was up to when what you really wanted was to sit on the couch and watch dramas together. You may not have wanted to take him away from his work or maybe you just weren’t in the habit of asking for what you wanted, but regardless of you never expressing your wish, Yoongi was always happy to be the first one to offer.

“Do you want to finish watching that drama from yesterday?” he’d ask, watching your face brighten as you’d nod eagerly. “Lemme finish up here and you can go grab Jimin.”

And you would. Because their roles rarely required them to leave the grounds, Jimin and Yoongi became your natural drama buddies. Every afternoon you’d pile on the couch together while Yoongi gathered snacks. They always seemed to be able to spare a couple of hours for you. Even Jimin, who at first seemed apprehensive around you, was showing signs of enjoying your company.

Jimin started sitting closer to you on the couch and offering you some of his snacks. He liked to look up fan theories on his phone while you guys watched and would often share them with you and ask your opinion about them after each episode. 

But Jimin noticed the way you never closed the distance when you sat near him on the couch, how you kept your muscles tense even as Yoongi catered to you. There was a calculation in your movements so that even as you were at-ease in your body language, you were never quite relaxed. Jimin wondered if he was contributing to your tension. He thought he was demonstrating his acceptance of you, but maybe he needed to do more.

“Val, do you want to cuddle?” Jimin asked one afternoon while you were both waiting for Yoongi to bring snacks.

The question caught you completely by surprise, your face heating with embarrassment, “I…um…”

“You don’t have to,” Jimin added nonchalantly. “I just thought it would help.”

“What would help?” Yoongi asked, setting the popcorn down in front of you.

“Us cuddling with Val.”

“And that would help with what exactly?” You kept your face to the paused screen in front of you, not trusting yourself to look at either of the men giving you their full attention.

Jimin shrugged, “You just hold yourself like someone who’s been rejected, but we’re not rejecting you. So I thought maybe us holding you would make you realize we’re not rejecting you.”

Yoongi chuckled awkwardly. Jimin’s brand of matter-of-fact honesty always toed the line of refreshing and uncomfortable. Jimin was sharply attuned to people’s body language, but not in predicting how his words could make other people feel. “There’s no pressure. You don’t have to,” Yoongi offered kindly, giving you an out.

“It…it might be nice,” you whispered shyly. You thought back to the tender touches and closeness you shared with Taehyung and how nice it used to feel. But back then, it always led to something more. “Only cuddling, right?”

“If that’s what you want,” Jimin shrugged again, leaving the implication that you could want more hanging in the air.

“Only cuddling. And if you want to stop, just tell us you want to stop,” Yoongi assured.

“Okay,” you agreed, feeling awkward about what to do next.

Jimin scooted closer to you, tapping on his chest, “Go ahead, snuggle up. I’m softer than Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi scoffed and you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you as you curled up against Jimin’s chest. He was comfy and warm, smelling of clean laundry as he let his arm hang lazily around you.

“You can lay out your legs across mine,” Yoongi suggested, scooting closer to you and Jimin. You were still a little worried as you stretched yourself across Yoongi, but he gave you a reassuring pat. “It’s like I have a Val blanket,” he giggled.

You could have laughed at that too, lost in the giddiness of how cozy you felt. But instead, you hummed in acknowledgement, already being lulled by Jimin’s heartbeat and the warmth of his chest. 

Jimin glanced down to see you completely slack against him, eyes heavy as your breath evened. He smirked, satisfied that he had finally gotten you to relax as he started to play with your hair, earning a happy sigh from you. 

>>>>

“You look rested,” Jin mentioned, as he finished chopping up some green onion. His usual “Kiss the Cook” apron was tied around him while he reached for mushrooms to chop. 

Your stomach swirled with uneasiness as you thought back to how you fell asleep on Jimin’s chest during your afternoon cuddle session. You’d woken up to a gentle nudge from Yoongi, your fists clenched tightly in Jimin’s shirt and a small drool stain where you had rested your head on Jimin’s chest. Jimin was unbothered, and rather amused to see how relaxed you had been, but the thought of you letting go of your well-practiced control, even for a moment, unsettled you. You made a quick apology and excused yourself to help Seokjin, who had started the habit of coming over to make dinner in the evenings. 

“What’re you making?” You asked, pointedly ignoring his comment and hopping up on the stool across from him.

“Doenjang-jjigae,” Jin answered with a happy hum, expertly cutting up the vegetables in front of him. Having watched him for several days now, this was not the first time you wondered what other skills Jin wielded with a knife.

“Jjigae? Is that stew?” You guessed.

Jin nodded, “It’s made with a soy-bean paste. It’s a pretty common dish.”

You gave a thoughtful hum, but said nothing more.

“Is something bothering you?” Jin asked, combining the vegetables together. “Normally by this point you’re asking how you can help and taking it upon yourself to add seasoning to everything. Yesterday I nearly had to wrestle you to the ground to prevent you from dumping a whole tub of gochujang into the japchae.”

“Gochujang is good though,” you grumbled, poking at a bit of mushroom that rolled across the counter.

“Yaeya, dong-uihae! But the secret to good japchae is the right balance of soy sauce and brown sugar and I have been perfecting that balance for decades.”

“You’re not that old.”

“I started young. Do you think I let my mother eat bad japchae after I was conceived? No! She had terrible morning sickness because of me and lots of bad japchae,” Seokjin was basically shouting as he dumped the vegetables into the bubbling broth.

You laughed heartily, hands covering your face at Jin’s overzealousness. With a spirit like his, you imagine his mother probably did get indigestion.

“Why’re you always coming over here to cook dinner if you have your own place?” You asked once your laughter subsided.

“I asked you a question first.”

“I’m ignoring it.”

Seokjin shrugged as if to say “suit yourself”  before responding, “Namjoon asked me to. He wants to make sure you stay well-nourished and I’m the best cook in the bunch, so…” he gestured openly with his arms, “here I am.”

“No offense, but you don’t really seem like the type to follow orders,” you mused.

“None taken,” he replied, focusing now on on the slow-cooked beef from the oven. The smells in the kitchen were starting to blend together and permeate the air, making your stomach rumble inaudibly. “There’s no shame in following orders. Plus, I get to enjoy your company.”

You pouted, unsatisfied and hungry, “I don’t believe you.”

“That there’s no shame in following orders or that I enjoy your company?”

“Both.”

“Well, the most powerful thing you can do is believe you have power in the first place; regardless of if you’re on the giving or receiving end of orders,” Seokjin explained, putting the beef into the stew and lowering the temperature on the stove to a simmer. You grunted, still not impressed. Power was power in your mind. You either took what was yours or you didn’t. “And as far as your company,” Seokjin continued. “It’s a tragedy you’re the last to know, but you’re kinda cool to hang out with.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed. “All I do is sit around all day.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened dramatically and, putting a hand to his mouth, he gasped in mock-horror, “I hadn’t considered that. I guess I am having a terrible time.”

“Cállate, pendejo,” you laughed.

“Once I figure out what that means, I’ll have a very witty comeback,” Seokjin grinned, wagging a finger at you. “Go get the others, dinners ready.”

>>>>>>>

You wouldn’t want to admit it, but you enjoyed the cacophony of the Bangtan dinner table. So often you were left to eat dinner either by yourself or, on rare occasions, with Joaquin, that you weren’t sure how everyone could be so noisy and chew their food at the same time. Even just the hums and moans they made as they ate and complimented the food made the meals loud even without active conversation. It seemed like every meal was the best meal they ever ate. And to be fair, every meal was delicious. Perhaps Seokjin really was the best cook in the bunch, though you hadn’t tried everyone else’s cooking to compare it.

You liked to sit next to Yoongi during dinner. Partly because Yoongi was good at loading your plate while explaining what you were eating and how to eat it. But mostly because, even if you were still embarrassed from earlier, Yoongi always had a way of making you feel safe and unjudged.

“Keep your thumb steady and only move your pointer finger. And remember, we have forks,” Yoongi advised as he watched your kimchi sliding off your chopsticks again and again.

“She’s got it, she’s got it,” Hoseok chanted in Korean. You were sticking your tongue out a bit in concentration, studying carefully with furrowed brows as the red piece of cabbage made it to your lips. The entire table erupted in applause and you scooted your chair back to stand up and take a bow.

“To Val!” Namjoon cheered, raising a shot glass of soju, the other men echoing “To Val!” as they downed their shot.

When you plopped back into your chair, you reached for Yoongi’s hand on the table and while everyone was laughing and carrying on you whispered, “Thank you for always looking out for me, Oppa.”

Your heart swelled while you watched his ears turn red, “Always,” he whispered back, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. 

The dinner continued on in a light-hearted, joyous mood with little talk of Bangtan’s work life or your dire predicament. You tried to let yourself be lulled by the conversation, but the unease you were familiar with was back, bubbling up through your stomach and clawing its way to your throat. You kept quiet though, looking out over the table, listening to the blend of Korean and English around you, wondering when they might confront you about earning your keep or when they might get sick of taking care of you and ask you to leave. No one could really be that impressed with your ability to use chopsticks. It was silly and stupid and everyone else could do it anyway, so why did they need to pretend on your behalf? Were they setting you up for something? Trying to gain your trust? You became acutely aware of how you had slumped in your chair and were no longer contributing to the conversation. Were you killing the mood? Were the boys aware of how untrusting you were? Would they care? Your eyes settled on the empty spot where Taehyung still failed to show up for dinner. He wasn’t there because you didn’t want to see him. You knew that. You had asked for this space and he was giving it to you. It was kind, more kind than you were used to or expected. Everything here was. But why did it feel ominous now? Where was the catch?

“Excuse me,” you said, standing up with a polite smile before you finished your plate. “Everything was delicious, Seokjin, thank you.”

If anyone noticed the way your mood was faltering, no one said anything. Seokjin had been laughing at something Hoseok was telling him when he passively said, “My pleasure! It’s nice to have your moral support in the kitchen.”

“Do you need me to get you anything?” Yoongi asked, searching your face for an explanation as to why you were leaving early.

“I’m good, Oppa,” You lied. “Just a little tired.”

Yoongi nodded, “I’ll clean up your plate. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you.”

It felt like miles before you got to your bed, but when you finally reached it, you buried your face into a pillow and let yourself cry.

>>>

The light from outside your bedroom shone underneath the door creating dramatic shadows from the furniture in the room. Sitting up slowly, you blinked and rubbed your puffy eyes. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep but you were grateful that it was dreamless. Unfortunately, it meant that you would have an even harder time falling back to sleep. You sighed, the heaviness of your emotions had subsided but the echo of them was still there. You let yourself be ebbed by the flow of your aimless thoughts until your mind found itself back to when you had napped earlier that day. Between Yoongi and Jimin. Against Jimin’s chest. There was no pressure or expectation in listening to Jimin breathe and the way he and Yoongi avoided clinging to you made you feel secure in the fact that you could leave whenever you wanted. It was nice and you missed it. It was warm and you wanted more.

Before you could chastise yourself for being greedy, you left the room quickly to find Jimin. You told yourself, at the very least, you could apologize for drooling on his shirt earlier. Lucky for you, no one was around as you made your way to the basement, so you could avoid explaining your true motives.

When you approached the door, you heard gunfire and shouting. Jimin was clearly yelling at his TV. You knocked on Jimin’s door tentatively.

“Fuck this, man.” Jimin grumbled from the other side of the door. The noises from the action sequence stopped suddenly as he called, “Come in!”

“I think you’re loosing your touch–” another voice teased as you opened the door to see Jimin leaning back on his couch, game controller to his left as he idly played with Taehyung’s hair and watched you come in. It took you a second to register what you were seeing. Taehyung was stretched out on the couch, head in Jimin’s lap, game controller in hand. Neither of them were wearing shirts and their sweatpants hung low around their hips. It wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen before, but you still looked away. “Sorry, if I’m interrupting something…” you trailed off, rubbing your arm to get rid of the goosebumps.

“No, no,” Taehyung shot off of Jimin’s lap and to his feet. “I’m sorry. I can leave, it’s getting late anyway–”

“It’s okay,” you said, finding his eyes to show him you meant it. “You can stay. It’s, um…Nice to see you.” Even this small confession left your heart aching in your chest. After everything that happened, you hoped Taehyung didn’t hate you, but you also hoped you wouldn’t have to explain yourself tonight. “Please stay.”

Jimin watched the two of you, not sure of what to make of the exchange. He ultimately decided it wasn’t his responsibility to figure out why the two of you looked so uncomfortable, so instead he said, “Did you need something?”

“I just wanted to apologize for earlier,” you answered, sheepishly. Now that you were actually in Jimin’s space, your plan felt very silly. 

“What happened earlier?” Jimin said, confused. He was genuinely unaware of something you had done wrong and you had never visited him before, so all of this seemed highly uncalled for.

“When I drooled on you…” You replied, feeling more and more embarrassed by the moment.

“Oooh,” Jimin realized. “Oh that? It’s fine. Sometimes people drool when they’re relaxed. I think it’s kind of nice.”

“Did you guys play together?” Taehyung asked, trying to hide his shock.

“Play together?” You echoed, having no idea what Taehyung meant.

“Nah, she fell asleep on my chest and drooled on my shirt,” Jimin said easily. “I have an extra controller. Do you want to play with us?”

You looked at the screen with the words Call of Duty across the top, “I’ve never played video games before.”

“This wouldn’t be a good one to start with then,” Jimin thought out loud. “You guys should sit down. I’m gonna get the Switch so we can play Mario Kart. I’ll be right back.”

Jimin stretched as he stood up, cracking his neck as he did so, and briskly walked out of the room, leaving you and a shirtless Taehyung standing in the middle of the room, dim lighting letting the weight of each other’s presence be known.

“Are you sure it’s okay if I stay?” Taehyung asked hesitantly.

“Yes, but could you put on a shirt please?”

“Right,” Taehyung said, suddenly embarrassed. You turned your eyes to him, watching as his white tshirt fell loosely over his tanned shoulders, hiding away the muscles in his back that you once knew so well. That ache you had returned again and you were suddenly desperate for being held. Your emotions bubbled up to your throat as you struggled to swallow them back, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to be soothed. 

Taehyung’s heart broke as he turned back to look at you. You were only a few feet in front of him and closer than you had been in weeks, but standing there, looking so small as you held yourself away from him, he thought you were farther than ever. He wanted to kiss you again and keep you safe in his arms. He wanted to explain that when he called you his before it was only because his heart knew it found its missing piece when he met you and that he was wrong to think of himself as entitled to you and he was sorry he ever did. He was a monster in your life while you were the light in his and he was so, so sorry.

When Jimin walked into the room, he noticed that you were both on the brink of tears. He knew that you both had history with one another, but he wasn’t quite sure what could cause such a reaction when neither of you had even been talking to each other.

“Do you guys need to hug?” Jimin suggested.

“Um..” You knew your answer before Jimin had even asked the question, every nerve in your body was begging for it. 

Jimin narrowed his eyes like he had formed some conclusion while observing you, “I think you guys need to hug.”

“Please,” you had barely gotten the word out when Taehyung closed the distance and wrapped his arms around you. Breathing in the familiar scent broke the last defense you had in protecting yourself from your emotions. You nuzzled into his chest and let the tears fall from your face, feeling a wetness against your shoulder as Taehyung buried his face in your neck.

Taehyung tried not to squeeze you too tight despite the overwhelming sense of relief he felt with having you in his arms. He told himself that even if this was all you were willing to give him for the rest of your life, he would accept it. He would never again ask for more than what you were willing to give. His shoulders shook as he wept against you and eventually he felt you rubbing his back, still not moving away or asking him to let go.

Jimin was content to let the moment continue for as long as you both needed, seeing that there was a lot that you guys needed to process even if neither of you had words for it yet. 

Eventually, your tears had stopped and you whispered gentle shushing against Taehyung, feeling warmth spread throughout your body at feeling the weight of him in your arms. Slowly, he pulled himself away from you, looking down at you with a sense of wonder that you hoped you returned in kind. Whatever the embrace had done for you, it appeared Taehyung had needed it just as desperately.

“Do you guys still want to play Mario Kart?” Jimin asked, already moving to set up the switch as if you had said yes.

You giggled wetly, still high from your relief, “Sure.”

Taehyung also laughed, a little awkwardly as he ran his fingers through his hair, “Yeah, that sounds fun.”

Jimin turned back to the two of you, noticing something he had missed before, “Do I need to put on a shirt too?”

“If you don’t mind,” You said.

“I’ll wear a fuzzy shirt so you can lay against me again,” Jimin announced. “I think you like cuddling.”

You had experienced too many emotions today to be embarrassed anymore or try to deny it, so instead you nodded, “I think you’re right.” You turned to Taehyung. “You’ll stay and cuddle too, right?”

Taehyung could have cried again if he hadn’t already drained himself of all of it. He sniffled, happily, “If you want me to.”

“I want you to,” You assured, taking his hand and leading him over to the couch. Jimin plopped on the other side of you, wearing a fuzzy black sweater. You were all snuggled up together, you leaning into Jimin and Taehyung leaning into you. Your leg was trapped between Taehyung’s body and the couch but you wouldn’t complain. You didn’t want anything to change. 

Chipper music began as the start menu loaded, looking at the tiny controller in your hand, you couldn’t help your fit of laughter.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” you said, not sure if you meant the game or in general.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin said, quickly making selections on the screen before you were able to choose your own character. “We’ll help you.”

#beastie 🐾 #bts fanfic #bts yoongi #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts taehyung #bts namjoon #bts angst #bts pining #bts hoesok #bts jin #bts fic #bts x reader #poc reader #reader is mexican #Fighter #bts mafia au #bts mafia fic #bts series #bts hurt/comfort #namjoon x yn #jin x yn #yoongi x yn #hoseok x yn #jimin x yn #taehyung x yn #jungkook x yn

[suleikashideaway]

2023

So I see a lot of people around here with their various wrapped updates regarding the progression of their art. I never really considered that I had much to say, considering I'm such a baby writer and haven't actually published anything. Who am I to join the conversation?

On reflection, I do have a lot to say, and yeah, it's worth saying. 2023 was a big year for me as a writer. So for posterity's sake, I want it known here in my blog.

The big project: FF8

Technically I've been working on a final fantasy 8 fic for years at this point. The fact that it's so personal and complicated kept me from sharing it with anyone. It was for me. It made me happy. But this was the year I decided to at least start the attempt at making it publishable.

After several drafts of this story, early this year I finally reached a point where I could write THE END and mean it. At something close to 140k words, It felt like I had climbed a mountain. Of course, now I look back and see that it was a tiny little baby hill, but it was maybe one of the most important hills I've ever walked.

To my surprise, I found a beta right away, and from there my 2023 trajectory took off into the stratosphere. They know this already, but I have to thank my beta (and now one of my very best friends) @failed221b-chill for lifting me out of the solitude and teaching me so much about everything, but especially taking on the role of my personal writing tutor. Together we went line-by-line through part 1 of my 3-part story, and my little baby writing mind EXPLODED.

Lemme tell ya. The confidence I gained from that. Woof.

It was also made very clear that I had my work cut out for me. Not only did I decide to double the entire fucking thing (by adding in another POV that was initially going to be a separate work), but I realized I needed to rewrite pretty much all of my existing draft.

In the span of a few weeks, I drafted over 35k of the other POV for part 1. With my newfound writing knowledge, I'm going through, line-by-line, and making this story what I want it to be.

Though I feel like I've grown exponentially as a writer, I still feel like this fic, as it stands, is not ready for publishing. Part 1 is almost there...I'm inching closer every day...but I don't know how long it will take to get it done to my satisfaction.

And I'm okay with that. My original goal was to have the entire 3-part thing written and completely done before publishing. Now, I may consider sharing before that goal is accomplished. Stay tuned.

Another Project: Stardew Valley

Something I learned incidentally (that I bet a bunch of other people have already learned before me, and here I am trying to reinvent the wheel of course) was that I actually needed another writing project to bounce back and forth between. Before this year, in between writing my ff8 fic, I wrote an entire Stardew Valley slow burn romance harvey/farmer fic, probably around 150k words. It was extremely cathartic and fun to write butttt I reread it now and cringe, hard, at my lil baby writing skills. I'll never delete it, because obviously it was another little baby hill I needed to climb. But as it is, it will never see the light of day lol. I keep having thoughts of how to completely rewrite this piece, but at the moment it's pretty vague. Not sure I'll ever return.

Instead, I was wildly inspired by @not-poignant's take on Alex, and feverishly wrote my first-ever Alex stuff, somewhere around 12k words. This is currently sitting on a back-burner, awaiting my soul-searching to decide what I really want from the piece.

What's Next?

My ff8 fic will always have precedence. But it's a mammoth. And due to the nature of the content, it is sometimes emotionally very difficult for me to write it. Sooooo it may be a while. That's okay with me.

In the meantime, I'm super excited that the first @ffviiicharacterweek is happening in January!!! It's given me an opportunity to write much shorter pieces that I never would have gotten around to. Hopefully I'll be able to participate fully and enjoy the works that come out of that.

Overall, it's been a damn good year for writing.

So anyway, if anyone has given this post the time of day, thanks for sticking it out to the end! I'm certainly open for chatting about any of this stuff, or if you just want to talk I'm up for that, too! I hope you have a joyous new year!

#writing #me #2023 wrapped #ff8 #stardew valley #i'm so so so grateful to be where i am