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dysphoric-culture-is · 8 months

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Not dysphoric culture, sorry, but does mod have any tips on socially transitioning, especially in school? I’m not even out yet, but I like to make plans for what I’m gonna do to make me feel less stuck in the closet, but I’ve only ever really thought about medical transition and don’t really know how to go about socially transitioning. (Afab, nonbinary, want to be perceived as neutral/masculine, if that’s any help)

Don’t apologize anon, mod is here to (try) to give advice!

Mod actually came out at school a couple of years ago (a conservative middle/high school where mod was one of the first publicly out not binary people) so. Here is some stuff.

Support:

Find a good friend group, and ideally also a decent guidance counselor who will not out you before you’re ready

Some fake friends will continue to misgender and deadname you. If this continues for months on end and you keep reminding them, they may not be a real friend

Meet other queer and trans people in your school! Join a GSA/acceptance club if there’s one! Find a trans person in your school that’s older than you and ask them for advice!!

Older trans people in your school can sometimes help you buy gender-affirming products (ex: if they can have it shipped to their house and can use their card, and then you pay them back in cash, for safety reasons etc) or queer merch.

If you want your name and gender marker to be changed in the school’s system you often have to go through the guidance department. Depending on where you live you do not need parental consent for this and do not let the guidance department bully you into it. You shouldn't need a court order either

Google classroom/digitization of education has made life harder for trans students because you will see the wrong name and pronouns listed everywhere. Schools with ID cards have this problem but worse because even if you cover up the name with a sticker, whenever your ID is scanned it will out you. Some places even require students to scan IDs to use the bathroom- a double nightmare for trans students.

Student pictures are cringe. Try to dress as gender-affirming as possible for picture day and remember that you’re likely only being photographed from the shoulders up (chest dysphoria = not your biggest problem)

Not all school systems have a nonbinary marker. Mod’s school pretended not to have one and it took some digging and anxious waiting to get one (mod has since gotten it, is one of the first students in the school’s history to have one, and is spreading resources to other trans and nonbinary students in the school community). For you anon if you can’t get an X/O/N/etc marker you can get a M, which may not be completely accurate but it might make you less dysphoric as compared to a F

Yearbooks might have pre-transition photos of you or even elementary school photos of you so try to speak to someone on the yearbook committee/club about it. Senior year in general can be a nightmare if you’re trans/nb because so many pictures are taken of you and a lot of old photos/letters are dug up

The uncomfortable stuff:

You need to use the bathroom especially if you do after-school activities. This is non-negotiable and far too many trans people (especially transmascs + nonbinary people who were AFAB) get UTIs by avoiding the bathroom all day. Using a public bathroom may be dysphoria inducing but having to see a urologist/gynecologist is much worse. But it’s true that school bathrooms suck! Find one that is the least suck-y (clean, not used very often, ideally gender-neutral) and try to use that one. Not all schools have a gender neutral bathroom, and the ones that do may only have one dirty, single-person bathroom for the entire school (like mod’s). For your case specifically anon if you feel you pass well enough/don’t pass but have enough support at school you can try to use the men’s room. The thing about using the men’s restroom is you have to walk in with confidence (fake confidence is okay too!) and act unbothered.

Mod has never heard of a gender-neutral school locker room, at least below the college level, ever. The good thing is that a lot of students no longer have to change for gym, or that some schools will give nonbinary students the option of changing in the gender neutral bathroom instead. (At mod’s school, their ‘nonbinary inclusive’ policy [which likely did not exist until mod asked about it] is that nonbinary students can choose which gendered locker room they’d like to use! How very inclusive and totally not avoiding the problem! [sarcasm]) You can ask a gym teacher to keep your bag in their office or leave your bag in the gym to avoid the locker rooms.

Your peers:

They might be transphobic, they might be supportive, or they might just not care. Either way they will probably misgender you purely because they knew you pre-transition. Mod has people in school that mod went to elementary school with and many of them are literally the worst. It's a horrible feeling to know that some people will always see you as [deadname and what your AGAB was] even if you 'pass' or correct people. But unless you transfer to another school there is nothing you can do about that.

Just find people who support you, ideally fellow trans people, and ignore those guys.

Transitioning:

You've probably seen a bunch of tips for gender presentation and might have done some already. For masculine/masc-leaning neutral some are: men's clothing, shorter hair, makeup to contour, binding/packing, layered clothing, etc. Some behavioral changes are voice training (do not rely only on T to change your voice if that's your plan!), taking on more masculine speech patterns, walking more confidently, exercising (target certain areas to create a more masculine shape), etc.

The actual coming out part:

Coming out is scary. Friends can encourage you, but you also have to come out to them first.

Most teachers mod has talked to about being queer have been at least polite/tolerant about it. There hasn’t been any outright hostility, but there has been more subtle transphobia. And mod uses neopronouns in a conservative place! The only major issue was when mod sent a teacher an email about mod’s pronouns + nb inclusive curriculum and he sent the email to the principal without asking (wild stuff. He agreed to use they/them for mod, but also denied taking responsibility for his curriculum excluding queer people).

If you want to come out at school but not at home, you can email/talk to your teachers in person and tell them to call you ___ in school and your deadname/wrong pronouns in front of your parents. Some counselors will email your teachers for you if you’re scared of your parents reading your emails/searching your device

You can write your chosen name almost wherever you want! You do not need it changed it the system to use it and especially if you’re writing on paper you can use it.

You are your biggest advocate! You need to get really good at standing up for yourself. Catering to or being nice to transphobes will usually not help you. You will probably need to push people: 'my pronouns are ____' not 'I prefer ____', 'what is the policy on nonbinary students, and if one doesn't exist how are we going to make one' not 'is there a nonbinary policy', 'I will wear the _____ uniform' not 'is it ok for trans people to wear the _____ uniform', 'call me ____' not 'um I have a preferred name and it's ____ is that okay', 'how will you make room for me' not 'can you make room for me' etc. It is not rude to be assertive! Transphobes will call you rude for simply existing in a way they don't like. Make sure to be clear about what you need and don't give them room to evade your requests. Nonbinary students who will come to your school several years from now will thank you.

It’s good that you’re planning ahead for coming out anon because that can make it less overwhelming, but overthinking can also really get you. If planning your coming out (which may or may not happen soon) starts to only stress you out and not give you any joy then you maybe need to take a break.

There's a lot more stuff but this is just a general overview so if you have more specific questions please send in another ask! Good luck anon!

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burningwombatbanana · 15 days

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Would you suck of fuck me?

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itgetsbetterproject · 2 years

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🏳️‍⚧️Hundreds of students are walking out of school right now in Virginia to stand up for trans rights! 🏳️‍⚧️

#itgetsbetter #queer youth #queer kids #trans kids #protect trans kids #trans students #trans rights

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prettyassbitches · 2 months

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Do you like art too? I just love it 🥰

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changeling-droneco · 1 year

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I didn’t understand half the words but it looks like they might be expanding discrimination protection to trans students about sports, it’s still not perfect and would allow some discrimination for higher competitive scenes but I feel like you all should know about this

#trans #trans rights #transgender #transgender rights #school sports #schools #sports #trans students #this has been three am thoughts

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cistematicchaos · 1 year

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ID: a screenshot of a short essay with text reading:

“We Don’t Deserve To Be Demonized

To the editor:

We all know about the anti-trans legislation being pushed by Youngkin. This is for the supporters, for everyone who isn’t sure or just doesn’t care:

You can ignore it but there’s bigotry in Virginia and from your support or inaction, you’re stoking the flames. I’m one of the many trans teens in Virginia and this legislation is just another sign not only are our rights in danger all over the world but in my state.

This legislation isn’t going to save anyone. It won’t protect children from sexual assault or keep the “perverted trans kids” away from your kids. The only thing it’s guaranteed to do is kill trans people.

Whether at the hands of bigots encouraged by the hysteria or even at our own hands in our desperation to escape this hell it’s creating, this legislation will kill us. But we’re not disappearing. Genocide has never eradicated queer people and never will. If it could, don’t you think we’d be gone already? You think your legislation can do what lynches and beatings couldn’t?

We’re not staying silent. We’re not monsters. We don’t deserve to be demonized just because you don’t understand our identities. You’re trying to control us as if you’ll manage what your bigoted predecessors failed but we all know things are changing. Even ACPS is pushing back.

Let me be clear: each death of a trans person following this legislation is murder. Each of you who write this legislation, each of you who claim neutrality or quietly agree, are all complicit in that. But if there’s one thing that I can guarantee about all of this, it’s that no matter what you do, from hate crimes to rallies to legislation, we will never disappear.

Our existence is not your decision.”

END ID

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tomorrowusa · 2 months

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A GOP state representative named Jamie Ray Gragg wants to make it a felony in Missouri for teachers or other school employees to use pronouns preferred by trans students. And that's just part of Republican Gragg's Missouri House Bill 2885.

A new bill introduced in the Missouri legislature would put teachers on the sex offense registry if they “contribute to social transition” of a trans youth- including pronouns, haircuts, information, and more. It would make the actions of the teacher “contributing to social transition” a class E felony. House Bill 2885 was introduced by Republican State Representative Jamie Ray Gragg (District 140 Christian County), a first term lawmaker who has previously publicly expressed strong anti-LGBTQ+ viewpoints as well as being anti-abortion rights.

Gragg represents Missouri House District 140 in the southwestern part of the state where he got more than three-quarters of the vote when he ran in 2022. This place would probably elect Donald Trump as Supreme Being if they had a chance. So challenging him in an election would not be productive.

But it is a good idea to try to elect more Democrats to the legislature from more competitive districts in Missouri.

Find out who represents you. If it's MAGA Republicans, contact your local Democratic Party and ask how you can help replace those far right Republicans with Democrats.

Find Your Legislators Look your legislators up by address or use your current location.

#lgbtq+#republican war on pronouns #pronouns #teachers #trans students #transphobia #missouri #republicans #the far right #state legislature #jamie ray gragg #state government #missouri h.b. 2885 #vote blue no matter who #election 2024

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tinkerbitch69 · 2 days

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The struggles of being a closeted trans woman in a writing class:

Teacher to me (visibly AMAB): I think you should rework the last scene. I think the female character gets too emotional. It’s too stereotypical, women don’t really act that.

5 seconds later…

Teacher to other student (visibly AFAB): I think you’re character (female) should be more emotionally intuitive. Maybe she asks her (other female character) if she’s ok ‘cause she’s clearly distressed.

SERIOUSLY?!!!

For context my character was being coerced into a the position of condoning the murder of the first sentient android and absolving the cyberpunk corporation that created it of any ethical responsibility. She was (understandably) pissed off, upset, concerned for the android and even a little scared about what they may do to her for refusing to cooperate. She had also just had her worldview entirely shattered as she had built her whole career on arguing that A.I could never achieve consciousness. Suffice to say she was a little shaken up emotionally speaking. The character in the other script was just walking in on another student looking a little down in their uni dorms. (No hate to that writer, they’re very good)

Seriously maybe instead of saying ‘oh it’s too stereotypical’ for female characters to act emotional, we stop reinforcing the societal pressure to suppress our emotions and let characters (and people!) express intense emotional reactions??? Especially in intense emotional situations!!! HOW ABOUT THAT HUH???

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