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that-good-trash · 4 years

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Burn Away With Me 3

Shoto Todoroki x reader / Dabi x reader

Warnings: Mentions of death and blood, profanity, kidnap, murder, Angst

Word count: 10K

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: Kidnap and murder usually go hand in hand but not like this. The world thinks your dead and you have to watch them mourn you like a princess locked away in a tower. Except princes don’t look for dead girls. You might just have to rely on the villain who took you.

Comment: Holy Shit, I am so sorry this took so long and that I haven’t been posting anything new. School just started again and I am a full time student and employee. I have a few other fics in progress and there will be a part four to this fic, which will be the conclusion. Thank you all for sticking around still and just bear with me. This chapter is long and I hope there aren’t to many errors with grammar or spelling. I hope you enjoy and please look forward to my next fics which I hope to post this week.

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Endeavor was a clever man with years of getting what he wanted tucked under his belt. He wasn’t intimidated by his son. He thought of his son as a tool not a human being with feelings and emotions that mattered. He had tried to be that guy and failed. His wife wanted nothing to do with him and neither did his oldest son. He showed them that he could change and yet they didn’t forgive him so what was the point of changing. He reverted back to the piece of shit he was so good at being. If he couldn’t be Number 1 and a ‘good’ dad then fine. A hero it is, despite the fact that he wasn’t a good hero either. Just a narcissistic asshole who beats people down with no remorse and would do anything to get what he wanted. Even kill you, even kill his own son. You and Dabi had ‘murdered by Endeavor’ on your personal resumes.

Now Shoto was standing his ground against the man who continues to take the things he loves. His flames dance around his body waiting to be released like hell hounds against his father. The ice cracks when Endeavor lifts his foot. He seems amused, like this is all a game. He wants Shoto to fall apart because it’s easier to control him when he isn’t all there. Shoto won’t let that happen, not when he needed to get revenge, if not for you then himself.

“TALK YOU BASTARD!” Shoto Todoroki was anything but a loud man. He wasn’t overly confrontational so this was a big change in his personality. Endeavor quirked a brow before his booming laugh pushed against the walls of his office. He steps forward knowing that his son will respond defensively. Ice shards jut forward almost striking the flame bearded man. He laughs before grabbing the overgrown frozen stalagmites melting them in seconds. His ice was strong but fire was still fire and couldn’t be overcome by a chill. His own fire pushed against Shoto’s as he approached. Shoto stood his ground, his hair had risen slightly dancing with his flames that were now reflecting in his eyes. His father glowers down at him neither of them willing to end this in a civil manner.

“I didn’t kill her but I am glad she is gone. You will mourn and hurt for now but in time she will be nothing but a painful memory. You can’t waste your time chasing rumors, trying to kill me. If you believe ever rumor out there then you would have to believe that you killed her or that she is actually alive. See how foolish those ideas are. You are just ruining your youth and if you kill me then you will spend the rest of your life behind bars. Would it be worth it Shoto?” He knows what to say to hurt his son. How could he forget about you? He couldn’t forget even if you wanted too. You were the better half of his life. You weren’t sunshine on a stormy day; no, you took him out in the rain and made him dance with you in it. He learned to love and be loved when you came into his life. Walking away now, giving up, was not a choice. He didn’t care about prison bars or the death sentence.

“Killing you, regardless of circumstance, would be worth everything.” The flames burned against each other as Shoto lifted his hand toward his fathers’ face. The flames disappeared at the sound of knocking on the door. Both men, despite having stopped their quirks, still looked at each other with intention to kill. “Come it.”

Midoriya opened the office door flinching slightly due to how hot the knob was. He walked into the room feeling the drastic change in temperature. The hallway was cool but the closer he got to Endeavors office the warmer it was. This however was extreme; he could feel the air stick to him from the increased humidity. He gripped his shirt pulling it in and outward trying to get a cool breeze. Shoto never looked away from his father even when he heard Midoriya clear his throat.

“Um, what’s going on in here.” The green haired boy lifted his foot, his shoes were damp from the puddles accumulating from Shoto’s ice. The walls had a heavy amount of condensation and it seemed like there were char marks on the flooring and parts of the ceiling. Midoriya knew whatever answer he was about to receive it wasn’t going to be the truth. “Pro Hero Deku, you have stumbled across a misunderstanding. My son is just emotional over his girlfriend’s de-”

“Fiancé. She wasn’t just my girlfriend, we were engaged. I was going to marry her and that’s not going to happen because you ki-”

“Because she was murdered by someone whose still out there. You should be hunting that person down instead of harassing me. Deku, if you wouldn’t mind this is over and I have other things to attend to.” Shoto was seething with hatred that scared even Midoriya who never got to see the boy like this. Endeavor turned away from the boys knowing that Shoto wouldn’t attack with Midoriya there. Shoto clenched his fist before turning and storming out of the room. He didn’t blame Midoriya for this interruption but he was upset by it. The rushed footsteps of Midoriya could be heard chasing down the revenge obsessed male.

“What the heck was that?” Midoriya had been trying to get ahold of Shoto, not for business but as a friend. He knew that Shoto was taking your death hard and everyone was worried about his reclusive distant behavior. Hell, even Bakugou was ‘worried’ about your fiancé. “Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t involve you.”

Shoto doesn’t get to take another step as Midoriya grabs him yanking his shoulder around to face him. Midoriya stared at Shoto with a look that he had seen to many times in his life. He had seen this concerned determined face all those years ago at the festival and has continued to see it every time something concerning happens that Shoto doesn’t cope well with.

“Don’t worry about it? How can I not worry when my best friend isn’t answering anyone’s calls? Doesn’t involve me! I don’t know what you were doing or talking about with your dad and maybe that doesn’t involve me but you’re my best friend.” Midoriya is breathing heavy from speaking with no break. He looks down after removing his hand from Shoto’s shoulder. His face goes from determined and concerned to downhearted. When his eyes meet Shoto’s again they both share a common emotion, hopelessness. “Also, this does involve me, I was her friend too. I care about her; everyone cares about her. We all miss her Todoroki! I know your suffering but you aren’t alone. You are isolating yourself and its not good for you. Please Shoto, talk to me.”

Shoto searches Midoriya’s eyes for any emotions other than loss and sorrow. He wants to walk away and pretend like this never happened. He thinks suffering alone is better than relying on the people around him. He hadn’t even been back to your shared home, nor had he returned to his childhood home. Instead he locked himself away in a hotel room surrounding himself with your things and any media that could drive him to kill his father. He watched videos and read articles about the disgusting man’s feats and failures. He waited for the perfect moment while clinging to your fading scent on the clothing you left behind. He was a truly broken man and even though he was a hero his intents match a certain cerulean eyed villain. There were a million things that lingered on Shoto’s tongue, words that would never get to be said. He wanted to talk, hell he wished he could have been like his classmates crying their hearts out while sharing in-depth stories but every time he picked up his phone to call or text, he saw the photo of you he had saved as his background. A picture of you smiling carefree while the sun casts rays of light that shimmer off your skin. Your hair is frozen in a windy mess behind you. Your eyes are staring at him with so much happiness and love that it hurts. It wasn’t taken on some special day or under certain circumstance, it was just a simple photo taken on a simple walk. You didn’t understand why he chose the photo yet he was overly fond of it. When the picture stared at him, he couldn’t call his friends. He just stared into your eyes wishing to see the real ones. He missed your loving gaze, he missed any look you had as long as it was toward him, even if it was anger. He wanted anything but this. Having to seek comfort in a photo was cause for heartache.

Shoto pulls his phone from his pocket, looking at the photo, before looking at Midoriya. The words still sit behind his lips, tingling, willing his to speak.

“I have nothing to say Midoriya.” Midoriya had waited with bated breath for Shoto to tell him something, anything. He could see it in his friend’s eyes, he knew there were many things that needed to be said. The response he was given punched him in the gut. He would have doubled over in pain if the punch wasn’t metaphorical. Midoriya wasn’t the type to let things go and as he watched Shoto turn around, his legs taking him god knows where. Midoriya ran after him, Shoto ignored the chase and left. He ignored the calls of his name as he exited the agency. He had to come up with a new plan. His hands found comfort in his pockets as he tried to blend in with the darkness. He heard his name echo as he turned the corner out of view. What was there to say now. If he told Midoriya what his plan was then he would try to stop him. Midoriya tried to follow but found himself in front of an alleyway of ice. He sighed pushing his hand against it. He imagined that this was the same ice that now lived in Todoroki’s heart. You were the fire that balanced it, but you were gone now.

“I wish you were here Y/n. You would know how to help him.” How ironic to need a dead person’s help when they were technically the cause of the problem. Even more ironic was while this occurred you were very much alive, asleep with your book still clutched in your hand blissfully unaware of Shoto’s unraveling mental state and morals.

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“Good morning doll.” Usually you’d snap at Dabi for his pet name but you had gotten used to it. By now you were more like roommates, he paid rent and shopped while you did everything else. You’d never admit to being used to this life but somehow another week had passed giving you no other choice. You followed every news cast and read every paper that came out hoping to read that Endeavor had died or been critically injured. It was cruel but necessary to survive and return to Shoto. Except the disappointment had to kick in after a week of nothing. No murder or injuring occurred. You started to think maybe Dabi didn’t have as strong a hold as he thought, worst case you thought Shoto didn’t care anymore. Maybe he had given up on you. A smack to your arm caught your attention as Dabi hit you before thrusting the newest paper toward you. You snatched it up faster than he could blink. He scoffed at your pathetic gesture. He had started hating watching your face fill with hope only to be disappointed by more hero news and never any good old fashion bad news. Your mood would drop and maybe a few tears would slip away. He wasn’t irritated with you, no he hated how you did this to yourself. He knew this wasn’t paradise and that playing dead was draining. He just wished that you could relax more. He had seen your smile and heard you laugh and those moments stayed with him. He watched you now waiting. You never cried, instead you crumpled the paper. You threw it on the ground before leaving the small kitchen table. You fled the room with what seemed like betrayal and anger. The bathroom door slammed shut. This was new, not the usual reaction, now he had to read the paper. It was crumpled and torn slightly in parts but he could read it, however there was really no reason to read it when the front cover was a large candid shot of pro hero Shoto smiling with his arm around some upstart, some young female sidekick. The picture must have hurt you but Dabi knew that it was faked. The smile never reached the heroes eyes. They were dead with you. The girl was all too happy to be getting a photo with Shoto. It was publicity, the media trying to make things interesting again. The article headline read Pro Hero Shoto Mending His Broken Heart With New Love Interest? Dabi actually laughed at how pathetic it was. He continued to read about this new girl and Shoto’s love for her. It mentioned her story about how she always looked up to Shoto, how he made her strive to work harder. Shoto couldn’t be bothered to comment. Dabi leaned back in his chair smirking. This was a part of someone’s plan, whether or not it was Endeavors pathetic attempt at changing the narrative or Shoto’s attempt at distracting the media while he goes after his true goal. Either way someone was pulling the strings with this little media shake up. Dabi chucked the paper onto the table not caring for its fake news. He knew what needed to be done and he didn’t like it.

A knock on the bathroom door brought you away from the storm of thoughts brewing. You had been under the, now cold, faucet for a while now. Two things were prominent in your thoughts, killing your fiancé or the girl who dared claim him. You weren’t stupid, you could put two and two together, they weren’t actually romantic interest. However, that didn’t stop you from imagining showing up at his agency with hells fury behind you. You could imagine the pure fear that people would have watching a dead girl attempt to kill her widow. If you didn’t go after him, you’d find this girl and make her regret the day she thought she could have him. You weren’t dead so watching him potentially move on made your blood boil. He got to live like a normal human while you were trapped. You were stuck enclosed in the same rooms till god knows when. You clenched your fist aware of the missing digit, another thing you lost because of this whole mess that shouldn’t have involved you. Another knock brought your attention to the door. The water stopped as your prune fingers turned the faucet off. You let your back fall against the cold tile before slipping to the tub. You refused to cry because he didn’t deserve your tears right now. No matter the truth, you were pissed at him. No tears or tight chest, just pure unadulterated anger. Dabi finally opened the door not caring if you’d yell at him. He went to pull the curtain aside but was stopped. Your fingers gripped it tightly to prevent it from moving. “What do you want Dabi.”

“I want you doll.” A scoff could be made out behind the curtain. You rolled your eyes but he only heard your sound. He leaned against the warm and slightly damp wall waiting for a witty response or reply of disgust. You remained quiet. “I want you to get off the shower floor and get some clothes on. I got a surprise waiting for you.”

With nothing left to say Dabi left you alone. You had low expectation when it came to a surprise from your kidnapper. Hell at least Belle was given a castle and had company in the form of talking dishware. A literal beast was outdoing Dabi, but that was to be expected since fairy tales were fake and Dabi wasn’t a prince. You didn’t rush to get ready which was fine by Dabi. He sat on the couch waiting with all the necessary parts of his gift. Once you dried off and had clothing on you walked into the living room. You didn’t get to far before a bag was thrown at you. Eyes wide you move quickly to catch it before it could hit you or the ground. In the bag was a strange variety of items, that separate made no sense but together made a brilliant gift. With raised brows you pull out the first item which is a wig, with hair color different then your actual hair color, that looks so real you almost check for scalp pieces. Dabi gestures for you to keep going. With the wig on the table you pull out a small case, in it a pair of contacts that were very different from your actual eye color. The gifts were staring to create more questions and concern than pleasure or happiness. The next few items were miscellaneous pieces of clothing, all dark clothed and plain enough that they would bring attention to you. A scarf and glasses also appeared from the bottom of the bag. The only theory that you could piece together made you laugh at how ridiculous it was. The more you looked at the items on the table together the more you realized that maybe it wasn’t ridiculous. You look at Dabi skeptically as you point to the confusing surprise. “What the hell is this.”

“It’s a disguise.” Your heart stopped for a second. Could this really be happening? You look at him with pleading eyes begging for this to be real and not some kind of sick joke or trick. “You’re gonna need it to leave the apartment.”

There was no way that this was real. You must have died for real. You suck in a breath, holding it in while your chest shakes with your shoulders. You are trying to prevent yourself from crying. You still refused to believe this cruel trick. The costume pieces sat staring at you, this was farfetched. Dabi was expecting more excitement, to be praised, he should have expected that you would be skeptical. Instead of criticizing you he walks up next to before smacking your back. “Go get ready I’m not waiting all day.”

“Yes okay, I’ll be right back. You are not allowed to change your mind!” You had never moved so fast before in your life. Before being kidnapped you would have spent a good amount of time preparing to go out, especially with Shoto but right now you were throwing everything on with haste. You pulled on a pair of black leggings and over those a simple enough deep blue skirt. It was above your knees and for a moment you felt like a high schooler again. The top was long sleeve and didn’t matter because a hoodie went right over it. The hoodie wasn’t bulky and instead was light weight and thinner. The hood was most likely to hide your face if necessary. The wig was most likely the most expensive item because it was definitely not a costume one. You had to giggle since it looked like you were cosplaying. Your contact covered eyes stared back at you in the mirror, your fingers ran through the wig. You didn’t look like you and this made you feel like you were being reborn. You were still Y/n and yet the girl that stared back wasn’t her. You were dead and this girl was alive, it was almost riveting. When you walked out of the bathroom Dabi looked you over, he smirked nodding with a look that told you he was impressed. You pretended like you didn’t care but you did. A little good attention wasn’t bad to want. You were starved for it so it was no shock that you didn’t shy away from his. You walked toward the door but he was faster blocking the exit. Your heart dropped thinking he was going to laugh and tell you this was a joke. Instead he placed the fake glasses onto your face. “There are a few rules your gonna have to follow.”

Relief washed over you as your fingers brushed the cool metal that framed the fake lenses. You listen to ever word. The basic rules were to not speak to or look at anyone long enough to be recognized, you weren’t allowed to use your quirk and if any heroes tried to approach you were to act shy and hide your face. You had a lot of rules about hiding your identity and yet here was the most recognizable villain ever. He smirked knowing you felt he was being hypocritical.

“Don’t worry Doll, I got someone for this.” He motioned toward his own face where his skin was held together by staples. You nodded not knowing exactly what he would do but not really caring. You got to leave and that was the most thrilling thing ever. He opened the door and you felt the cold hallway air hit your exposed skin, which wasn’t much. A giggle escapes as Dabi holds his hand out for you to take. You grab it with vigor ready to be alive again, even if it was just for a moment.

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You had no idea how he did it but Dabi looked like a normal person. Well normal to society. Personally, you didn’t mind how he looked. He took you another apartment in the same building. He walked in and walked out without staples or scars. The quick explanation he gave was that the persons quirk helped change how someone’s appearance looks to others. Sure, enough your fingers touched his face and you could feel the staples even though you couldn’t see them. Amazement, you were amazed at this quirk before you realized the quirk could have been used on you and you wouldn’t have needed to wear the get up. Dabi knew what you were thinking when you side glanced him.

“Don’t look at me like that doll. This was expensive, much more expensive than your get up. You can wear a costume; I can’t really cover this up.” You hadn’t even thought about him having to have paid for the quirk users help. Of course, in an underground world someone gets money any way they can. You laugh at his comment about covering up his face. You walk in front of him turning, your skirt swirls around with you as your fingers brush his cheek. Your eyes hold so much kindness. “You don’t need to cover up. I think your face is perfect.”

Dabi blinks, he doesn’t really know what to say. Mostly because he never mentioned being ashamed of his scars openly. He was though. He hated how he looked but lived with it since it was his choice, technically he was forced into something so dramatic by his abusive father. You didn’t need to compliment him; you didn’t owe him a smile. You were really a peculiar person. His arm slowly lifts before a flick is administered to your forehead. Your hand quickly moves to rub the spot while you face scrunches. “How sweet you think I’m covering up because I’m ashamed when really it’s because I’m a wanted criminal. I do appreciate it sweetheart. Better watch out, I know you’re touch starved but falling for your captor is kind of cliché. No Stockholm syndrome allowed here.”

Your face went from discomfort to embarrassed. You rush after him as he walks away with a cocky grin. You hit his shoulder before walking next to him.

“I would never fall for you.”

“I know because you have your AmaZinG Shoto you love so much.” You hear Shoto’s name and feel angry again. You grab Dabi’s hand, holding it while you both leave the apartment building. He laughs knowing that you had nothing to say because it was a touchy subject. The moment you both felt the cool fall air blow by the anger you feel dissolves replaced with excitement. You are free, this was what a caged bird feels when it gets to spread its wings. You didn’t even care that you had no idea where this was. Your legs moved you off the front steps of the neglected building and you spun around on the sidewalk. Dabi laughed while his hands pushed into his pockets. He walked onto the sidewalk after you. You stopped spinning turning to him with an appreciative smile. He didn’t deserve it but he accepted it. His hand gestures forward and you grab onto him once again. You link arms with him making him raise a brow. You don’t care about his reaction because you aren’t going to let anything take away your happiness. You let him lead the way, walking passed rundown buildings and sketchy people. You don’t want to judge but it definitely wasn’t a part of town you would have been found in prior to dying. The dirty sidewalks, seedy businesses, and rundown buildings soon enough turn to crowded sidewalks and streets, large and small businesses, and hero agencies. Oh god, you looked down as you passed an agency you didn’t recognize. Dabi laughs because most kidnapped people would go screaming the first sign of ‘help’ while you were acting like you were also a wanted criminal. You looked away from the looming agency building and around the street. People walked right by you never even questioning who you were. They didn’t care. You weren’t Y/n right now, just a stranger. Dabi didn’t understand how you felt so content with being around strangers. He didn’t understand because he didn’t like people and they didn’t tend to like him. Watching you intrigued him, you didn’t run away, you hadn’t stopped smiling, and you hadn’t mentioned Shoto.

“Da-Um Dante, can we get something to drink?” You almost said his name but stopped quickly changing it to the first thing you could think of. This fake name amused Dabi causing him to smirk, not only that but he was also smirking because you asked for a drink. He wanted so badly to tease you but for some reason couldn’t find himself doing so. “Sure, doll.”

“Let’s go to that café, I want something warm with whipped cream.” Your arm released his so you could pull him along. The café wasn’t to busy and Dabi was grateful. He watched you look over the menu mouthing the items to yourself. The cashier called you forward asking your order. You ordered a large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. The cashier smiled at your simple order before looking at Dabi.

“And would your boyfriend like something as well.” Boyfriend? Your face scrunched up like you had just smelled a soiled diaper. Dabi couldn’t hold back the laugh that escaped. The cashier could have thought you were siblings but of course you had to be dating him. Before you could comment about him not being your boyfriend he stepped forward, his arm going around your waist to help pull you to his side. He leans closer to the counter. “I’ll have a black coffee.”

“Da-” Before you could say his real name by accident his grip tightened and he gave you a look that warned you. You pouted before pulling away. He paid as you went off to find a table. You found on in a corner against the window, which was exciting to you because you could watch the people. Dabi found you daydreaming, your head in your hand while your eyes watched some high school students taking pictures together.

“God, they look stupid, poor uninformed youth. Little do they know what the pitiful future holds.” You stared across at him as he looked at the teens with a completely opposite viewpoint. A cream packet hit Dabi prompting him to bring his attention back at you. You were displeased with his commentary. “Really? Because that’s truly how everyone’s life is destined to turn out. I’d like to believe that those kids are going to grow up and enjoy life, they might change the world or make a big difference. I know you have your reasons to not enjoy life but that doesn’t mean everyone is going down the same path. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy.”

“Hit a nerve, did I?” Dabi had almost forgotten that you both came from different worlds. While you believed in hope, he had none. Hope was for children, for fools. You however knew the cruelties of the world and still help onto the sliver of hope you had left. These kids were you. They laughed and you remembered when you were their ages, laughing with your own friends. Now you were trapped, a prisoner of your own accord. Regardless you did not find him funny or charming. “Such a prick.”

“Never said I was anything else.” He was annoying and arrogant but honest. He never pretended he was a gentleman; you chose to believe he could be one. You couldn’t argue with him. It also wasn’t worth ruining your time outside the apartment. This outing was yours not his.

“Your drinks.” You thanked the barista who dropped off your order. You held the cup a gentle smile crossing your lips. Dabi didn’t touch his drink, instead he was watching the people outside. His own thoughts bringing him to think about your future. He wasn’t planning on keeping you around forever but his plan was working slowly. You were now intertwined with his life. He thought about you every time he left the apartment. You could have escaped but you hadn’t even tried. It was like his promise to release you was good enough to calm you, to make you trust him. His eyes watched you through the window, your reflection seen from his angle. The way you licked the whipped cream from your lips caught his attention. He looked beyond your reflection and at the people passing, not wanting to get to invested in watching you. He wondered how long you’d spend running around the city till he’d have to drag you back.

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six hours had come and gone and yet to you it was minutes. You had missed the fresh air, the sunlight dancing on your skin, and the chatter of people around you. You had actually had conversations with strangers, you spoke to people and they spoke with you. It was thrilling and yet as the sun started setting you knew that it would be ending soon. Your face fell with your shoulders at the idea of going back. Dabi would have went back by now but you wanted to stay out and this was all for you. He drank the subpar coffee, walked the crowded stores, ate overpriced food, and even let you get close to people and conversate despite the risk. The streetlights turned on and it seemed even more people were out. Dabi’s phone was vibrating against his leg, his hand reached into his pocket to pick it up. You were watching one of the TV sets that was playing a news station. He hesitated before disappearing down an empty alleyway to answer the call.

“I told you not to call me today.” The irritation was clear in Dabi’s a statement.

“I’m well aware of what you told me it’s just that we have a problem.”

“What problem is to big for pro hero hawks that he has to call a villain to get help from.”

“Shoto.”

There was a brief moment of silence, tension in the air and through the phone. Dabi thought things were moving slowly so now he was sure that the pro’s need for revenge was dwindling. The sidekick in the photo came to mind. Maybe there were to many distractions, maybe he needed a push in the right direction. A reminder of his loss.

“What’s the problem.”

“He hasn’t been coming by endeavors agency and I haven’t seen much of him even in the district. He might be planning something but currently he is avoidant of his father and thus is getting in the way of the plan.”

Dabi was right, but of course he was right, brother’s intuition. This was beyond irritating news but he was already formulating a plan. That plan needed to happen, now. He could hear the phone move away from his informant, hawks, followed by whispering. The person speaking in the background had no idea that their precious hero was helping destroy the current number one. Dabi hung up the call and texted hawks a brief warning. Looked like it was time to send you home. The moment he left the alleyway he found you were gone. Of course, you were gone. He disappeared without telling you where he was going. Hell, he wouldn’t be shocked if you finally gathered the courage and common sense to run away. Before he could even begin to question your whereabouts, he saw you. You were leaning against a clothing store with your hands held in front of you. A stray tear was making its way down your cheek as you looked into the night sky above. The lights and clouds forming made it hard to see any stars. Dabi walked through the crowds of people with only you in his sights. Why were you crying? His hand reached for you but retracted immediately when he watched someone else catch your tear. His body stood frozen amongst a group of business men while his worst fear surfaced.

“Are you okay? I saw you and couldn’t help coming over here. You look so sad, familiar and sad.” Standing in front of you, so close his breath touched your face, was red riot. He was in disguise just like you were but not as intense. He wore a hoodie to cover his hair which was down instead of spiked. A mask hid his rows of shark like teeth and his casual clothing made his build less noticeable. You knew who he was even before you looked at him. His voice laced with concern and care was more familiar than his looks to you. He wasn’t a close friend but if you were friends with Eijiro Kirishima he thought the world of you, would die or kill for you. He was ride of die and right now he was talking to a dead friend with no clue. Your throat tightened and fear pulsed through your veins. Fear of being caught? Dabi taught you that, that being caught was bad, that if this plan didn’t happen then things would end up so much worse. Fear wasn’t the only thing you felt. You wanted to lean into his hand when it caught your tears. You yearned for his attention, for physical contact from a past that seems so far away regardless of how much time it had really been. You look into his kind crimson eyes and realize that maybe he was trying to figure out who you were. He looked curious but there was a hint of confusion. He was wondering why you were familiar and the only thought he had made no sense. If you talked, he would figure it out. You were literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.

“I…” You didn’t have to speak because someone else spoke up instead. Dabi’s hand yanked you away from the wall and into his side. He turned you till your chest was pressed into his own, hiding your familiar features away from the prying heroes’ eyes. He knew that his own self was way more familiar but with this quirk hiding his distinct features he didn’t worry about getting caught. Dabi’s piercing stare causes Kirishima to back up, his hands raised in surrender.

“Are you bothering my girlfriend.” Dabi’s voice was distinct and yet when he spoke, he sounded like someone else. He had spoken with a deep growl that fit his usual tone but something was off. Somehow, he wasn’t Dabi talking. You couldn’t be offended by his words since he was saying them to save the both of you. Yet deep down you weren’t disgusted or offended, instead hearing him growl with a twinge of overprotective jealousy made your heart skip a beat. The way he held onto you in a tight possessive manner made you almost fall for the false title as his girlfriend.

“I didn’t mean any harm. I saw her crying and she seemed sad so I wanted to make sure she was okay… She reminded me of a friend I recently lost.” Kirishima was never the type to make trouble but he did find himself stumbling upon it quite often. He sounded sincere and didn’t want Dabi to get the wrong idea. You knew Dabi didn’t actually believe you were being harassed; he was preventing you both from getting involved in something that would jeopardize everything. The part that really hit you hard was his last sentence. You reminded him of you. He approached you hoping to ease your pain but also because he wished you were the real thing. The harsh reality being that you were the real you and he wasn’t allowed to know that. He was mourning you as well and he wanted to look into your eyes and see the girl that used to go drinking with the Bakusquad. Instead he saw your glossy tear covered contacts. He saw the fake you and was reminded that people don’t just come back from the dead. You had to bite your bottom lip to prevent yourself from running to him, to prevent a slip up just because you wanted to give him reassurance. Dabi’s grip on you tightened, as if he knew what you were contemplating. “She’s fine, just got lost in the crowd. Thanks for the worry but we must get going. Sorry about your friend.”

“Hey!” As Dabi turned away from Kirishima to walk away with you, a voice called out to the red head. Your body got tense and Dabi recognized it as he jolted his head back toward the hero. Bakugou was in his own shitty disguise walking toward his best friend. Kirishima was a good boy, someone who wouldn’t harass strangers, Bakugou wasn’t the same way. If he thought you were familiar, he would interrogate you. Dabi was ready to use his quirk to escape if needed, ideally he would prefer not to. “Come on shitty hair, let’s go.”

“Sorry… I forgot we were supposed to meet up. I saw this girl and she reminded me of Y/n.” Dabi was already pulling you away again the moment he realized Bakugou hadn’t noticed the two of you. The crowd started to swallow you up but you could still make out what Kirishima had sadly spoken, you also heard Bakugou’s response. “Idiot, she’s dead. You gotta stop looking for her, you’re starting to act like Icy Hot.”

You let yourself be dragged down streets and away from the lit-up buildings. Your day had already faded to night and now you knew where you were headed. Dabi was obviously taking you home and surprisingly you didn’t mind. It had been fun but, after hearing your former friends talk about you as if you were a ghost, the fun dissipated into self-loathing. At some point Dabi wasn’t holding your arm anymore, instead you followed slightly behind him as he led you back. He would have told you that it was time to return but he knew that you were well aware. Your mood had soured and he wasn’t going to contribute more than he had. The apartment building was dark when you arrived outside it. You would easily enough deem it an abandoned building had you not been living here. Dabi held the front door open for you allowing you to walk through the doorway and into the hallway with the flickering yellow bulbs. Dabi walked behind you occasionally telling you where to turn, until you got to the apartment. He let you inside and went to apologize but you had already started heading to your bedroom. He planned on leaving immediately but that didn’t happen. He followed you inside, his phone discarded on the table as it attempted to interrupt him.

“Did you have a good day?” You stopped outside the bedroom door and thought about the hours outside these walls. Despite how it ended you did have fun. Hell, you had a blast just being out in the fresh air, surrounded by people and bustling buildings. It was sad that you found satisfaction in freedom but who wouldn’t after living their life locked up for an undetermined amount of time. A small smile graced your lips as you pulled off the wig. You held it in your hand as your hair settled down back against your face. You turned and looked your captor, friend? in the eyes.

“I had a good day, thank you Dabi.” You open the bedroom door before disappearing into the room leaving Dabi a little surprised by your answer. His shoulders shake when he starts laughing. He really had no idea what to think of you. He walked away from the door calling out to you that he was leaving. Without a response from you he left. You didn’t cry once you were alone. Instead you sat on the floor with your head in your hands replaying the boy’s words. Kirishima thought you were familiar, Bakugou had to remind him that you were dead and yet you were pulling a fast one on them. Had it been Shoto would he have known? Would he instantly know despite the layers of disguise? Would Midoriya have known it was you. Would he have chased you down? These words meant nothing because there was no way to test if this would happen. Had Shoto shown himself on the crowded street Dabi would have taken you home immediately. He didn’t find the others a threat, Shoto was a pawn so of course him seeing you was a threat.

Bzzt bzzt bzzt. The sound of vibrating could be heard coming from the living room. An eyebrow raised as you sat up, getting off the floor. Had Dabi not actually left? You dragged yourself down the hall finding that you were alone in the apartment. The only thing out of place was Dabi’s phone sitting on the table. The entire time you had been here Dabi hadn’t let his phone out of his sight. You wondered if this was a trap as you approached it. The screen was lit up and you saw a text waiting to be read. The missed call notification was below the text box. You read the contact name. You didn’t have to decipher the insulting nickname; You knew that the person trying to get ahold of Dabi was Hawks. You unlocked his phone, you had seen the code before when he hadn’t realized you were watching, the text popped up. You tried to ignore snooping through the previous messages and instead opted to read only the ones that had just arrived.

[I know you already have your mind set on this but maybe rethink this. I don’t think it’s going to go the way you want it to.]

[Are you ignoring my calls on purpose?]

[You can’t kill Shoto’s new sidekick. It messes up your plan against Endeavor.]

[Shoto just left the agency…]

The words reflected off your drying eyes as you read through the texts. Your heart had started racing as you read what his intensions were tonight. What had led him to this decision? Had you contributed to his idea to kill her. You didn’t want to be the reason an innocent life was taken even if you held hatred for her that very morning. This couldn’t be happening. Had Dabi had his phone would the texts change his mind. Had you known his plan prior to him leaving would you have been able to stop him. Your grip on his cell tightened as you decided what needed to done. You hadn’t taken off your disguise, it was dark outside, and you had a shit ton of adrenaline coursing through you. You held onto the phone as you ran out the door making sure it locked before you disappeared down the dully lit hallway. The outside world was much darker and colder than it had been earlier. You had no idea where to look for him but you realized that he might have mentioned a location. You checked back through the texts but found no location, instead a lot of conversations about Endeavors demise and Shoto’s involvement. You went to the internet looking for answers to where the sidekick could be. You found a tweet the showed a picture that had been taken ten minutes prior. The photo had the girl posing with a large electric building clock in the background. You knew where this was and the time gave you an idea of how long ago this was actually taken. You hoped you’d make it in time. You were suddenly hit with the fear that Dabi wouldn’t hesitate to hurt you if you tried to stop him. You let the fear settled in your stomach while your legs sent you flying down streets. People looked at you like you were crazy and the funny thing was you were thinking the same thing. You were crazy, this was all insane. The craziest part being your conflict over whether you were doing this to save an innocent girl or because you didn’t want Dabi getting caught. A groan of frustration left you as you found the building the photo was taken in front of. Your legs were throbbing from running. You were curious as to why a sidekick under Endeavor would be so far from their district. You looked around while overthinking everything. You needed to figure out where she would go and where Dabi would ambush her. An alley would be his primary choice and there were plenty of those around. You ran around asking people if they had seen her, using Dabi’s phone to show the picture. People thought you were some crazed fan before pointing you off in different directions. Eventually you felt defeated, like all this was for nothing. What if Dabi had realized his phone was missing and went back to get it. He would definitely be on his way to kill you. The alternative thought was that the girl was already dead. Your feet begged for you to stop walking. You just about gave up when the most putrid smell hit you. Your hands covered your nose and mouth. You gagged. The smell brought you closer and closer to the truth. You followed it knowing what it was. The smell of charred flesh, burning hair, boiling blood. The smell of overcooked organs and crackling bones.

“Dear god.” You found her. You found her the exact way you hoped not to. What was left of her corpse was enough to identify her. Her teeth could be seen since her lips and the skin around them was burned away. Her gums had burns as well, her tongue was nonexistent. Her eyes seemed to have boiled but you could still make out her warped irises. He didn’t burn away all of her hair; you could see slight strands sticking to what skin remained on her scalp. Her body was worse off. You couldn’t look at her any longer. You turned sobbing into the same hands that prevented the smell from invading your nose. You could prevent the smell from getting stuck in your nose. You would remember this smell for the rest of your life, her burnt corpse would live in the darkest recesses of your mind. Your legs were starting to lose their ability to remain standing. You wanted nothing more than to escape this hellscape you had searched for. You glanced back again at her before quickly looking away again. Sobs slipped out as you mourned her, a stranger who this morning you wished didn’t exist. It was ironic really. You could help but blame yourself. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t want this to happen.”

You showered yourself in blame but the reality was that Dabi needed Shoto to remember you, to remember his need for revenge, and in order to achieve that Shoto needed to be reminded what you had supposedly gone through. Except you were actually alive and this girl wasn’t. You finally snapped out of it enough to want to leave. Dabi was obviously gone which meant you were limited on time to get back before he saw you were gone. You pulled out the phone and realized there was another missed call from Hawks. You opened the voicemail and had in playing in your ear.

“Dabi! You have to get the hell out of there. She sent an emergency alert and Shoto is looking for her. He’s on his way there now.”

Fear once again crept over you as you let your arm drop down to your side. The phone light cast a shadow on the wall and revealed someone approaching. Suddenly the alleyway felt warm and yet chills engulfed your body. You turned slowly as you felt the intruder staring at you.

“Shoto…” You whispered his name, a million feelings trying to surface but all you could do was smile sadly. You never thought about the body sitting behind you and the smell no longer existed as you watched him walk closer. You were unaware of what he was thinking, what he was feeling. He was already upset that day, his anger waiting to surface and now it was bubbling out in the form of ice creeping down the alley way ground and heat burning along the walls. The light from the phone had disappeared as the screen blackened. The light was now being cast from the Shoto’s flames. The closer Shoto got the ore he could see. He was staring at a woman in a black hoodie, dark skirt, and black leggings. A woman with unfamiliar hair and eyes. He was staring at a stranger. You were a stranger standing in front of a dead body. The charred disfigured corpse of his newest sidekick. You weren’t a stranger anymore but instead a villain. This wasn’t a case of stumbling upon a dead body, No. To Shoto he had arrived late and you hadn’t left on time. You stepped to the side as if you were expecting him to walk past you. It was a mistake. He was able to see her body, your own demise came flying to the forefront of his mind. You had been a pile of ash and she was still recognizable but the two were far too similar. He looked at you and for a moment you thought he saw the real you. His hand raised and you couldn’t help smiling, imagining his hand cupping your cheek. His arms around you holding you. Instead his eyes held pain, pure unadulterated hatred. His flames danced across his body and you had no time to react as they were sent directly toward you. The alley way was blazing with fire and yet your feet were iced to the ground. There was no escape as you witnessed your fiancé look at you with the need for revenge, he wanted you dead. A sob escaped as the flames finally reached you. They dance lightly against your skin before dissipating. Red flames were now blue as a wall surrounded you. You had closed you eyes while waiting for death. You’d accepted this so easily but someone else wasn’t going to. You hadn’t realized that Dabi had come for you. When he saw Shoto he knew it wasn’t going to go the way your imagination wanted it to. He knew the broken man would try to kill you. His flames burned hotter than Shoto’s which he used to his advantage. He protected you by burning away the flames that attempted to swallow you up. His body emerged from the blue inferno. The quirk that had hid his flaws was gone. His face was back to being graphed and stapled, his eyes burned with as much hatred as Shoto’s. His hatred was conflicted, he hated Shoto for trying to hurt you and he hated himself for ever putting you in this situation. You were sobbing on your knees as you heard Shoto screaming out in frustration. Dabi laughed at his pathetic brother as he walked in front of you. His flames still wildly blazing around you, never actually touching you.

“You killed her… It was you. You killed the love of my life. That girl you’re protecting, I bet you love her. I bet you’d be destroyed of she died. I’ll take her from you. I’ll make you regret ever taking Y/n.” Shoto was fast as he rushed Dabi, but Dabi was faster to defend and retaliate. You couldn’t move as Shoto’s words echoed through you. You could feel how broken he was and all you could think about was how you were the one who did this to him. Regret burned hotter than the flames. You watched Dabi and Shoto move like a well-choreographed dance. Never hitting the other as flames and ice clashed. The wall of ice thrust in front of Dabi was shattered with a sharp punch from the raven-haired boy. Shoto moved forward while droplets of water rained down as his ice was melted. His hands finally reached Dabi as they took ahold of his throat. Dabi lifted his own hand thrusting it against the duel quirked boys face. His quirk activated causing Shoto to release him while yelling out in pain. His face wasn’t burned but it was red, irritation from the heat evident on his skin. Dabi approached him while rubbing his throat which now had hand marks on it. He stood in front of his clueless brother.

“I didn’t kill her. Endeavor killed her, just like he killed your brother. Endeavor is somewhere laughing at you as you spiral out of control. I’m having doubts that you ever loved her because if you had then he’d be dead. Had you really loved her maybe she’s be alive right now.” Dabi was letting his emotions take control as he taunted the pro hero. He wanted Shoto to hurt physically and mentally. He wanted him to suffer even after he killed endeavor and got you back. At this rate he might not even want to give you to a man that he felt didn’t deserve you. Shoto let the words settle, to dig under his skin. He wasn’t about to let Dabi get away with his statement, or any of his actions. He wasn’t going to go for the villain. He was going to go for you. His ice shot him upward giving him an advantage. Dabi was ready for the attack but it never came. Instead he became all to aware of the fact that you hadn’t fled the scene. “Dammit.”

“No hard feelings.” Shoto spoke directly to you as he dropped from his ice wall beyond the blue flames. He landed in front of you so close you could touch him. You looked up at him slowly lifting your hand toward him hoping he would take it. He slapped it away looking at you with disgust. To him you were begging for your life, looking for repentance. He had none to give you. You wanted him to looked past the contacts, through the wig. Why couldn’t he see you? You smiled sadly mouthing an I love you before closing your eyes. Tears dripped down your still burning cheeks. It was as if the next few moments happened in slow motion. Shoto moved his hand hovering above you as the fire engulfed the world around you. You felt the pain set in dragging a scream from deep within your chest. It was searing pain that didn’t fade even as the flames disappeared with the burning of Shoto’s body. The flames burned a blue so bright they were almost white. Dabi’s body burned with his quirk use. The smell of hair and skin burning once again invaded your senses and you had no idea if you were smelling yourself or one of them. Shoto was yelling out in pain while Dabi yelled with anger. The moment returned to normal speed as you heard Hawks yelling above. “SHOTO STOP!!!” Shoto looked up as well had Dabi. Immediately he knew this was his time to get the hell out of there. He ran past his brother, both men in excruciating pain. Shoto reached out to stop him but he hesitated when he heard Hawks screaming for him to back down. He could hear the sirens as he watched Dabi collect you into his arms. He was trying to put as little pressure on your new wounds as he could while carrying you. In your delirious pained state, you reached your left hand out toward him. He had to have been delirious himself because he could have sworn that the villain girl, he had just tried to kill was missing her ring finger, the same finger that was left for him.

“Y/n.” Your name slipped from his lips as you were carried away from the scene. Your eyes closed and you drifted off into a nightmare that resembled the moments that had transpired that night. Dabi brought you home cursing himself and everything around him. He punched the wall cracking it. He growled as his back hit the same wall he just punched. He didn’t understand why he wanted so badly to kill Shoto right now but he knew that it was all because of you. You were supposed to be a small pawn to get the game going, to get it closer to the climax and now you were involved deeper than he wanted. You were never supposed to get hurt, not like this. Looking at your burned skin, relieved that the burns weren’t third degree. He was able to protect you but wished he had done more. You should have been unscathed and yet you lay on the couch marked due to his own family’s mistakes.

“I’m so sorry Y/n.” He moved to the front of the couch his hand brushing your scorched cheek. The wig had basically burned away and the contacts needed to be removed before they caused permanent damage to your eyes. A knock on the door told him that help had arrived.

--------------------

Hours had gone by and you remained in a mindscape that resembled hell. Shoto continuously killing you while you felt and watched every moment. He reminded you about how you didn’t matter to him, that he never loved you and yet his eyes said they did. It was a cruel world to be trapped in. Slowly thought that world faded and you could see a dull light behind your heavy lids. You could hear a voice gently speaking to you, apologies and promises. When you finally found the strength to open your eyes you found Dabi staring at you. His eyes looked sad but that quickly changed to shock as he realized you were awake. He smirked, or at least tried to.

“I guess true loves kiss does wake a princess.” You scoffed before attempting to slap him. You body was sore but when you saw your skin you had no burns. There were slight markings that made you think that you had been in much worse shape. Dabi was smiling at you as he sat back sighing in relief. You attempted to sit up and he was quick to move and help you. He held your back pulling you up without hurting you. You thanked him and he nodded before getting you a glass of water. He almost dropped it when he saw that you were crying. The glass was left on the coffee table as his arms reached around you. He hadn’t hugged many people in his life but he knew that it held the power to help. You clung to him sobbing into his shoulder, screaming practically. It was painful for Dabi to hear and t reminded him of his newest hatred for Shoto. His hands held you protectively, comfortingly. You held onto him crying until your throat was raw and your tear ducts dried. Eventually it was just you being gently rocked by Dabi as hiccupped sobs continued to escape.

“What do I do know Dabi. What do I do when I died for him and he tried to kill me? I used to dream of our reunion, it was beautiful and full of tears and love. Now when I close my eyes, I picture the flames, the screaming. I hear his words as he tries to kill me. I can feel the look of disgust and hatred.” You had to cover your mouth to try and stop the oncoming panic attack. You wanted to scream but couldn’t. “What do I do when all that kept me alive was the idea of being free to be me again, but the world doesn’t need me in it. He doesn’t need me. I’m a villain in his eyes and I think he might be one in mine now. What is there left for me now.”

“Stop. Please stop. I need you Y/n.” Dabi pulled you against his chest as his lips crashed into your own. A moment of pure emotion and adrenaline. He promised to himself, as his lips molded to yours, that he would make things right for you even if that meant giving up his plan.

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Taglist: @flowersgirl02 @tiredandkindaoverworked @ linndragneel @tabalugax @pikagirl1996 @hauntedclaudio

~Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist~

#mha #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha angst #mha dabi #mha shoto x reader #mha todoroki #bnha #bnha todoroki #bnha imagines #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #touya todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #bnha shoto todoroki #todoroki x reader

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aethylas · 3 years

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For anonymous: a series of answers/clarifications/amendments on The Goldenrod Revisions! (I've answered these all in one post just to make it easier). Thank you so much for the asks, this helped me a) clarify my thoughts b) solve some canon continuity issues so I really appreciate them!

THANK U for agreeing to answer my questions! I'll have to ask them separately so they're not in 1 super-long impossible-to-read ask. I have 3 about 15x19, 1 about 15x20, 2 about 15x21, 2 about 15x22, and 2 about 15x23. quick disclaimer: i don't mean any offense at all by my question count! I didn't even notice these oddities the first time I read this; once I read it and accepted it as the true canon, I took a closer look and then noticed. but plz don't think these made your fic any less great!!

No worries anon! It is literally my pleasure to answer them and I am VERY very happy to find discrepancies with canon in the fic - then I can hopefully fix them and make the fic better :) Also I really appreciate the very systematic way you laid all these out, it really helped me reply, and also subsequently make a couple of edits to the fic!

For 15x19:

1. Why did Chuck trust Michael with the task of killing Jack? As God he should know Michael betrayed him in 15.08; did he expect Michael to disobey him again?

I think in this case we're/Chuck is relying on knowledge from the canon 15.19, i.e. Chuck would assume the outcome predicted by the show - that Michael WOULD betray the Winchesters/the world in order to please his father. So God assumed Michael would act the way he did in Inherit The Earth. But additionally, Chuck isn't actually very keyed-in to his own characters' motivations (esp. when love is involved) or very attached to certain results - he basically sends Michael and Lucifer to kill Jack because he figures it will entertain him no matter what happens - whether Michael and Lucifer kill each other, whether they kill the Winchesters/Jack, etc. - either Jack dies this way or Chuck will think of another way to do it.

2. How was Sam able to kill Lucifer? It was said only an archangel could kill another archangel with the archangel blade; was this a total lie or could Sam do it since he's Lucifer's true vessel? (plz don't change it to have Michael kill him; Sam being the one to do it was perfect, I just wanna understand how he could do it).

So glad you raised this because I honestly totally forgot! But now that you have, I have corrected that lore continuity with a line about biblical metaphors.

3. How is Rowena alive? She said she was dead in 15.08, so I initially assumed as a witch and the Queen of Hell she found a way to travel between Hell and Earth despite being dead. But then Sam says "Michael could've killed you" and then Chuck kills her twice in 15.21, both of which indicate she's alive here - does this mean Michael resurrected her when she summoned him?

God okay this is like - please call me out if this is incorrect or still confusing - but it's kind of like, based on the very inconsistent and confusing lore of the SPN afterlife that I assume Rowena is 'dead' but also 'alive' in the sense that Crowley was 'alive' and is now 'dead'. Does that make sense? She's not 'alive' as a human but rather as a demon (or something like it). So as Queen of Hell and a presumably demonic-adjacent entity, when she's 'killed' she gets sent to the Empty now vs. being 'killed' as a human and going to Heaven/Hell. (Based on when we see her in Hell, I assume she possesses her own body? Unclear. Just go with it. They've never been great with what it means to show vessels in Heaven/Hell etc.)

4. I thought asked all I wanted to know about Goldenrod but I just thought of 1 more thing: I don’t get why some dialogue implies Michael was dead? He mentions how he “found himself back on Earth” and tells the Empty it couldn’t stop Chuck from resurrecting him & Lucifer, but prior to 15.19 we last saw Michael leaving the bunker with Adam alive and well in 15.08, and it seemed like he was gonna stay on Earth for Adam’s sake. So what happened to him?

Oh that's a great point! I think that is actually just a confusing choice on my part that Chuck killed absolutely everyone including Michael/Adam in 15.18 Despair and THEN chose to resurrect Michael (but not Adam) alongside Lucifer when he was bored/wanting to kill Jack. I made some slight adjustments in-text to hopefully make it less confusing because I know that's different to the lore of canon 15.19 Inherit the Earth.

For 15x20:

1. How did the angels and demons in the Empty wake up? Did Michael use the last of his grace to wake everyone up? Were they already awake thanks to Jack blowing up in 15x18 or did they somehow sleep through that? (Not expanding on the Empty's claim that "you made it loud" is one of countless things I'll never forgive the actual show for, so THANK YOU for taking the show back to the Empty in the first place; I was just curious about this one element.)

So the Empty was already 'loud' according to canon, but since canon is vague on what exactly that means (thank you writers!...) I got the impression it meant the Empty wasn't 'peaceful' anymore but still powerful enough to suppress the beings inside, like the beings in there were awake and suffering but unable to rebel. Sort of what we see with Cas in this version of 15.20. Maybe like, additional suffering in sleep paralysis? Regardless, Michael does expend his grace to weaken the Empty enough that other beings wake up and/or are able to fight back and exist outside their own personal nightmare chamber. So whatever your impression of 'loud' is with regards to the other beings in there, assume Michael was able to free them from the Empty's control.

For 15x21:

1. Having Jack & Amara take out Hell & Purgatory was a BRILLIANT idea; I love that they ended all the places of suffering and changed the system. I just wonder - what happened to the souls and the demons still in Hell at that point, and the Leviathans and other monsters still in Purgatory? Were they just wiped out completely and sent to the Empty? Or did Jack turn them human and add them to the cycle? (I don't think the show clarified whether or not Leviathans have souls, so...)

No matter whether they were monster or demon or even angel, they would eventually be given human life. I broke it down to 'human enough souls' vs. 'not human enough souls'. Human-enough were immediately brought to life with memories and versions of their original bodies, and not-human-enough were sent to the Soul Queue to be born as infants. I assume Leviathan and most demons fall into 'not human enough', therefore, whatever tiny microbe of personality/soul they had was added to the cycle of rebirth and would be translated to a new human soul. Of course this might have a WILDLY different impact on the world depending on how many people go to hell in this system, how many people were 'human enough', etc.... But we're basically fudging those numbers a bit one way or another just to give certain characters the revival they deserve haha.

2. Did Cas drown and die after Chuck threw him in the lake and Jack left their limbo-dream world? If so, did he go through the same question-&-answer situation with Death that Sam & Dean did? Or was he with Jack & Amara when they rebuilt the world?

Cas was already dead/dying even when he was talking to Jack, he was sort of in a different version of the 'Veil' per se. VERY wishy-washy, but basically he and Jack were on a different dream-plane that they were jolted to in the chaos of the disorganised no-Death world.

I think Cas, Rowena, Lucifer, Michael, etc. as beings who were killed after the snap is a bit ambiguous. Rowena and Lucifer, I think, as entities who were demonic-dead or Empty-level-dead pre-Snap probably went through the reincarnation Yes/No Death questionnaire. Cas and Michael might not have since they were technically 'alive' and human before the Snap. Regardless, I think they probably wouldn't remember the interaction even if they had it.

The reason the question happened to the Winchesters AND that they remember it is Main Character Syndrome... they were the only people left alive when Jack and Amara did a hard reset, and that honestly Death took time to chill/exposition at them because he likes them. Really. Despite all appearances. Or respects them enough to let them know what's gone down, anyway.

Metatextually, it was really just to reaffirm to the audience that Dean (and Sam) want to live, in contrast to 15.20 Carry On 😅

3. Did all the snapped people (Eileen, Adam, the Waywards, etc.) also go through the Death question-&-answer process but not remember it, or did Jack & Amara just send them back?

Snapped people were reset automatically! Normally the new-humans also wouldn't remember their interactions with Death/reapers, just like in canon lore when someone like Dean has a near-death experience.

I realise this whole section and various other lore reformation parts of the fic aren't SUPER clear on specific logistics but on some occasions I'm like, I've done enough info-dumping, I don't want to overwrite exposition. But if you think it's worth clarifying certain points let me know and I can try to do so!

For 15x22:

1. The twenty something blonde guy in sunglasses getting hot tea, is that Belphegor? sure sounds like it but I wanted to confirm.

Yep!

2. Since Death mentioned that Jack only resurrected the angels, demons, and monsters from the Empty who had enough of a soul, and since all the human souls from the Veil went to Heaven as confirmed by Kevin's presence, how exactly are Anna's human parents and Bela alive now?

Great question - 1) I SOMEHOW FORGOT ANNA'S PARENTS DIED? Complete screw up on my part, I don't know how that happened. I fixed this so it's her grandparents now. 2) Bela was sent to Hell as part of her deal, so I was assuming she was a demon by this point in canon (since it would be... MANY Hell-years since she died.) Therefore she had a 'human' enough demon soul to be put back as a human.

3. Oh, and the tall woman with the flyer in 15.22; who is this supposed to be? Hannah I’m guessing?

To be honest I didn't have anyone in particular in mind for that scene; it was kind of a catch-all for missing characters like, it COULD be Hannah. It could be Raphael. Hell, it could be Abbadon. I didn't want to do a full shot of every single person missing from the cast who had died (esp since like - we wouldn't know who they were anyway! Their bodies would be different). So this one is literally just fill-in-the-blank. But if I had to assign a character there I'd say it would probably be one of the more arrogant angels like Raphael or Uriel.

For 15x23:

1. How is Bobby in the Roadhouse with the gang? 10x17 seemed to imply the angels were about to throw him in the dungeons to punish him for helping Cas; did Ash hack him out of prison, or was he never imprisoned at all? Also, is Jack not surprised to see another Bobby in Heaven because the boys already told him there was another Bobby besides the one he knows from Apocalypseverse? (I was half-expecting him to comment about that and confuse Bobby).

Oh that's a great point! I think that's another sort of fill in the blank since it's been five years since 10.17... even if he was in prison of some kind, I think it's likely either Ash helped him get out in the same way he helped everyone else, and since the angels were extremely short-staffed I doubt getting Bobby suitably imprisoned/punished was their top priority. But honestly I'm not super clear on how the angels intended to punish Bobby, I don't think canon is clear either... like, We Just Don't Know.

Finally I'd like to know, has Sam proposed to Eileen yet by the end of the final episode? The script doesn't mention a ring on her finger, and as Sam's fiancee, I'd assume she'd also have carved her name on the table. Sam mentions the innuendos Dean has said "in the past year," so it's been a while since Jack's prayer scene, yet Cas says Dean & Claire's argument was the last time they spoke, and it doesn't seem likely to me that Dean wouldn't call Claire in a year given how close they are...

Nope! I think Sam is saying 'I'm going to marry her' as a declaration of certainty of his feelings and faith in the future, not neccessarily as something that immediately happens. With regards to 'in the past year', that referred to the period when Eileen was alive during s15 as well! I assume Dean did teasing off-screen (and I mean, he did plenty on-screen too.)

I honestly think that Sam and Dean are just very very busy in the aftermath of the events of the 15.20 reset, like they have to deal with the new world AND try to wrangle all these hunters into this new system of collaboration. I didn't put Eileen on the table because she isn't there in the finale and because I do think the Sam/Dean/Cas/Jack family unit was a bit more central and important to the show, but maybe they add her (and any possible kids, if they have any) later on. God, imagine generations of hunters and/or Winchesters carving on that table. Sacred Artefact...

(1) Ok that's all the questions I have. Again, so sorry to blow up your inbox - I really appreciate your willingness to clarify these things! If there are some things you'd rather not explain and leave ambiguous, I totally get that. And in spite of these aforementioned confusing parts, I still ADORE your fic and will continue to read it whenever I feel like re-"watching" how Supernatural really ended! Thank you so much!! .... (2) I’m SO sorry to overload u! I know I asked a lot and I didn’t mean to sound like a hater saying “none of ur story makes sense”; that’s not what I meant at all! If this was a regular good ol fix it fic I wouldn’t have said anything but since u said u wanted it to wrap up the show as replacement canon, I thought maybe I should point out places that didn’t line up. But take as MUCH time as you need! Good for you working to meet your deadlines; I hope you succeeded!! And again I really appreciate you taking the time to answer whenever you have time—absolutely no rush!! Have a GREAT Memorial Day Weekend!!!

Anon thank you SO SO much for all these questions, as you can see it really helped me identify problems or straight up errors in my work wrt continuity and I'm so happy that means I can improve it. If any of the answers weren't clear or you think I should modify the fic to make certain things clearer than they are right now (other than the things I said I'd fix in-text for sure) let me know! It's really been a pleasure answering them too, I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to it, I actually went back and proofed/edited the whole fic as part of adding some of these corrections in (and that took like... three weeks...) and as you said, it's very important to me to get it as true to canon as possible so - yeah, just, once again, thank you!! You're wonderful! ♥♥♥

#my fic #anonymous #ask #I should make fic-specific tags. someone remind me to go back and re-tag this blog with those sigh #every time I post on this blog I say that every single time #on round like. 20 of corrections now for this fic #post-posting #'goldenrod' revisions. laughable #we're easily on second cherry revisions now #the goldenrod revisions #my meta

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bookshopkat · 3 years

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Asian Fantasy Novels for the Lunar New Year

Photo by Thyla Jane

Happy Year of the Ox! The Lunar New Year, or Spring Festival, is a major celebration in many Asian countries. Marking the first new moon of the lunar calendar, this celebration lasts for days and is a time for family and friends, lantern festivals, dragon and lion dances, gifts of money, fireworks, and feasts. There’s something enchanting about the Lunar New Year, with its bright lanterns lining every street and its sparkling starbursts lighting the night sky. At its heart is tradition, cultural beliefs, and a mixture of mythology and magic. Simple charms are used to bring good luck and drive away evil. The supernatural has a firm place amid the celebrations, from shoe-stealing ghosts in South Korea to Vietnamese kitchen gods to the lion-like monster Nian in China. As such, this holiday presents a marvelous opportunity to both celebrate various Asian cultures and conjure a sense of wonder. So, to celebrate the Lunar New Year, here are four fantasy novels rooted in Asian culture and lore.

Jade City by Fonda Lee

On the island of Kekon, jade grants those with the ability to wield it special powers, but promises pain and death for anyone lacking the right genetics who tries to use it. As a result, jade smuggling is a profitable business and those families with the capacity to use the mineral, called Jade Bones, make up the highest class of society. But now ordinary citizens are somehow gaining the ability to use jade, and it is throwing the society of Kekon into turmoil. As suspicion fuels inter-clan warfare among the noble class, the future of the island nation hangs in the balance. In the midst of this chaos stands three siblings. Kaul Lan, the new, young, peace-loving leader of his family, finds himself faced with the uncomfortable necessity of bloodshed as he tries to steer his clan through these uncertain times. Lan’s brother, the hot-tempered and passionate Kaul Hilo, is like a warrior straight out of old tales: honorable, protective, and hungry for battle and glory. Their sister, Shae, is an independent modern woman who chose to cast aside her jade along with her traditional roles in favor of freedom and marriage to an outsider. Added to this cast of characters is Wen, Hilo’s forbidden lover, who is burdened by the combination of coming from a disgraced family and being a rare Stone Eye, a supposedly cursed person completely immune to jade. All four have their differences and disagreements, and the tension between them mirrors the growing strain in their homeland at large. It will take them all, however, to find out who is responsible for the dangerous drug allowing non-Jade Bones to wield the sacred stone before it is too late.

This is a novel that bridges high fantasy and urban fantasy, weaving a tale of heroism, betrayal, and intrigue against the backdrop of a thoroughly modernized enchanted society. Lee’s narrative is intricate and interesting, her world building is exceptional, and her magical system is comprehensive and intelligent. Running throughout the entire tale are elements of Chinese myth and culture, with folklore concerning gods and monsters playing a vital part. Complex, well-written, and engaging, Jade City is grand and unique fantasy adventure.

Tears of the Wind by Phung Lam

This collection of short stories is a touching as it is magical. Taking place on the fictional Island of Wishes, each tale explores human nature and the deepest desires people harbor in dark corners of their minds. From a lonely heart seeking solace to a soul hungry with ambition, this anthology explores the not only the power of wishes, but the question: what would people do if the one thing they truly wanted most could be theirs? It’s basically impossible to find an English version of this book, and I had to rely on the Smart Book translation application for the ebook format. That led to some odd phrasing in portions of the text, but the collection was nonetheless enjoyable. That is because Lam writes not only with imagination but also with a keen understanding of humanity.

The narratives are dreamlike, the content somewhat akin to magical realism and the tone ultimately surrealistic. Ranging from heartrending to horrifying, Lam weaves stories about the darkest parts of ourselves, when we harbor wishes we dare not name, as well as about the unforeseen and often terrible consequences of getting exactly what we think we want. The author explores the nature of love, the power of longing, and the baser side of our very nature. It’s an engaging collection that seems, and its core, to turn upon one basic thought: be careful what you wish for.

The Ghost Bride by Yangsze Choo

Set in late-nineteenth-century Malaya, on the island of Borneo, this novel sparkles with folk beliefs and superstitions. Li Lan is a spirited girl and only child from a family wrapped in what can only be called genteel poverty. Her life is certainly not perfect—her mother is dead, her father, although loving, has allowed his grief to lead to opium addiction, and her marriage prospects are extremely limited—but things aren’t so very bad. Apart from occasional longings for beautiful new clothing such as she sees other wealthier girls sporting, Li Lan would be reasonably content if it weren’t for one thing: her father has asked her if she would like become a ghost bride. He says it almost as a joke, but the moment he speaks the words, the wheels of fate start to turn. The rare tradition of ghost brides is meant to mollify the spirits of wealthy young men who died without marrying, and it presents both tempting and terrifying prospects. While accepting would mean financial help for her aging father as well as a place for Li Lan herself in one of Malacca city’s most affluent households, it would also mean giving up any dreams of love, passion, or children of her own.

Li Lan, of course, refuses, especially when she starts to develop feelings for another decided living man. But the choice may not be as easy as the thinks. She finds herself haunted by Lim Tiang Ching, her spectral suitor, and he is determined to have her. Tiang Ching, the young woman soon learns, was selfish and cruel when he was alive, and death hasn’t improved him. Desperate, Li Lan seeks the help of a local wise woman, and unwittingly finds herself embroiled in a supernatural struggle where ghosts are all too real and her only hope hangs on a mysterious young man who may be more than he seems, and who is most definitely keeping secrets. On top of that, she begins to realize that the Lim family is harboring some dark secrets of their own, and one of them may be deadly.

Choo’s narrative is imaginative as well as brimming with cultural folklore and traditions. A blend of mystery and fantasy, it is engaging from start to finish. Many of the characters are interesting and a little quirky, although a couple feel less well developed and there were a few moments when I felt the protagonist was a bit too flighty for my tastes. Nonetheless, this is a fun, entertaining fantasy book, perfect for an evening of light reading with a cup of tea or coffee at your side.

When You Trap a Tiger by Tae Keller

This is a truly wonderful novel blending together magical realism, mythology, family drama, and a deeply touching coming of age tale. It’s a beautifully written and imaginative narrative where opposites don’t so much collide as they do interweave in a complex dance. Dreams tangle with reality, childhood blurs with adolescence, Korean tradition intersects with modern America, folklore mingles with daily life, and stories become solid enough to touch. Through it all runs a profound understanding of emotion and the human spirit.

Lily has always loved visiting her Korean grandmother, catching stars to learn what stories they hold and listening to traditional tales from their ancestral homeland. This, however, is different. Now Lily, along with her mother and her sister, are moving in with the old woman because Lily’s grandmother is sick, and isn’t getting any better. A new city, a new school, and new fears about her beloved relative would all be difficult enough, but Lily has another problem: upon arriving, she sees a tiger straight out of one of her grandmother’s tales. This is both a metaphor for many things: words unsaid, terminal illness, fear, and long-ago mistakes. It is, however, also an introduction of the magical real. Upon informing her grandmother about the big cat, Lily begins unraveling the old woman’s greatest tale yet, and takes the first step in a personal journey to discover family secrets and leave her childhood behind. As marvelous as it is heartfelt, When You Trap a Tiger addresses conflicts between generations and cultures, as well as the reconciliation of the past, through the lens myths and storytelling. At its core, this is a novel about the power of both love and stories, as well as about one girl finding herself.

Perhaps one of these books will make an excellent companion over the next several days as celebrations of the Lunar New Year progress. Blending Asian folklore with a sense of the fantastic, these works may prove to be the perfect way for those not immersed in these festivities to still capture a bit of the season’s spirit. Readers hungry for an interesting narrative that is a little out of the ordinary will likely find any one of these to be a feast for the imagination, as well as a wonderful way to start of the Year of the Ox. Happy Reading!

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gascon-en-exil · 4 years

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So I've heard the parley scene in AM is really bad. Can you explain what's wrong with it?

This sounds like a good time to use that handy event gallery feature to transcribe the conversation so we can talk about it. I haven’t done a full line-by-line reading of anything in a very long time.

Incidentally, Hubert is also present in this scene although he has no lines, which is highly unusual for the way this game handles who appears in story cutscenes. I just thought that was worth remarking on.

Dimitri: Professor. Do you think Edelgard will show up?

Byleth: “She will.” or “I doubt it.” Choice leads to...

???: “Well, well. It’s been a long time, Professor. And hello to you too, DImitri.” or “Sorry to disappoint you, Professor.”

This is Byleth’s only line in the scene, and I love how it reinforces that Edelgard is hung up on them even in the route where Byleth matters least. She acknowledges Dimitri, the leader of the army with whom she’s holding a parley, second - and not at all if you doubt her and she gets pouty about it. Also, imagine a Byleth-less AM where it would Dedue at Dimitri’s side instead, and how much better that would have been.

Dimitri: Edelgard. I did not think you would actually accept my request.

Edelgard: Call it a whim. Well then? What did want to talk about?

Call it an OOC whim, because she never so much as suggests any such thing on the other routes even when she’s losing.

Dimitri: I will get straight to the point. Why did you start this war? There had to a way change things in your territory without the need for so many senseless casualties.

Edelgard: It may be hard to believe, but this is the way that leads to the fewest casualties in the end. Don’t you see?

Dimitri: How could I? Countless people have already lost their lives in this conflict.

Edelgard: The longer we took to revolt, the more victims this crooked world would have claimed. I weighed the victims of war against the victims of the world as it is now, and I chose the former. I believe that I have chosen the best path, the only path.

Dimitri: Even after seeing the faces of those who have suffered the ravages of war, you would still force them to throw their lives away for the future? You are obsessively devoted to this war and deaf to the screams of its victims. You cannot change the cycle of the strong dominating the weak with a method like that.

Edelgard: You’re wrong. That very cycle is exactly what I have devoted my life and my power to destroying. If after all of this you believe the weak will still be weak, that is only because they are too used to relying on others instead of on themselves.

This reinforces three concepts central to Edelgard’s character: the ends justify the means, dependence on others makes you weak, and it’s acceptable for her to make life-or-death decisions for an entire continent because she has the power and (allegedly) the understanding to do so.

Dimitri: Yes. Perhaps someone as strong as you are can claim something like that. But you cannot force that belief onto others. People aren’t as strong as you think they are. There are those who cannot live without their faith...and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living. Your path will not be able to save them. It is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong.

Dimitri remarks that Edelgard is operating from a place of extreme privilege as emperor, but he also means strength in a different context which he’ll expound upon later. I’ve seen people cherry pick the line about people who can’t live without faith as evidence that Dimitri thinks religion is necessary, but that’s ignoring what he says below.

Edelgard: Heh, so you consider me strong, do you?

Of course, because Edelgard makes a big point of never showing her emotions to anyone but Byleth and projecting an image of strength in place of them. This is markedly in contrast to Dimitri who allows himself to be publicly vulnerable in ugly and unsettling ways. It’s inverted gender coding twice over.

Edelgard: Even if one clings to their faith, the goddess will never answer them. Countless souls will be lost that way. Living without purpose. And I can be counted as those who have died that way as well. But that’s why I must change this world, on behalf of the silent and weak!

So now she claims to speak for the weak. This implies some interesting things about why Edelgard is an atheist (or as much as one can be in a world where your deity is living inside your teacher), although it falls a bit flat when one considers Dimitri’s Goddess Tower event where he essentially admits to being a deist himself. They’re actually about on the same page there, but this conversation doesn’t indicate it.

Dimitri: And do you intend to become a goddess yourself? Will you steal the power to take action from the broken-hearted masses you claim to defend? The ones who can truly change the way of the world are not the rulers, but the people. Pushing your own sense of justice and your own ideals onto even one other person is nothing more than self-righteousness.

Edelgard: Maybe it is self-righteousness, but it doesn’t matter. Someone has to take action and put a stop to this world’s endless, blood-stained history!

Proto-democracy alert, and I don’t mean from Edelgard. I’m a bit shocked that Edelgard is willing to admit that she’s being self-righteous, but she immediately pivots back into her usual spiel and refusal to compromise her beliefs even the slightest.

Dimitri: Do you not believe in the power of the people to join together and rise up? Humans are weak creatures. But they are also creatures who help each other, support each other, and together, find the right path. I have learned that humans are capable of all that from the professor...and from everyone in my life.

I hate that Dimitri singles out Byleth here and not, you know, any of the numerous other people who’ve been at his side supporting and loving him for much longer and with more than just irrelevant dialogue options and vacant smiles. Nevertheless, Dimitri understands the value of community on account of his experiences and his own development. That’s some solid, thematically cohesive writing there. See what the other leaders miss out on by never changing during their stories...and no, having the hots for the self-insert does not constitute changing.

Edelgard: I doubt a highborn person like yourself could know how the poor feel or what motivates them. This is nonsense. Though, I’m finally starting to understand how you feel. But that makes it even clearer to me that we can never fully understand each other.

Dimitri: I feel the same. I finally understand...what you believe is right.

An obnoxious moment of the pot calling the kettle black that also ignores that Dimitri spent most of the timeskip homeless, spending time in the slums of Fòdlan, being hailed as a (frightening) hero of the common people. Dimitri doesn’t argue the point though; he sees that Edelgard is set in her (demonstrably incorrect) beliefs and that further discussion is useless. Do note who shuts down the conversation first though, after sidestepping Dimitri’s point about the value of supporting each other.

Edelgard: Good-bye, DImitri.

Dimitri: Wait, Edelgard. There is something I must give you. This is for you. Use it to cut a path to the future you wish for. And I will rise up to meet you there...El.

Edelgard: ...

I left this bit in for the transition as well as to undercut the irony of what Edelgard ultimately does with this dagger. The future she wishes for is to stand on her own - even if it means killing an old friend and dying herself.

After this the scene cuts to a flashback of Dimitri giving Edelgard the dagger before she left the Kingdom, followed by Edelgard admitting that she had forgotten that memory and the two of them reflecting on it briefly before parting. I’ve cut this part as it’s not relevant to the parley.

Now that I’ve written it all out I have to say that the scripting of this scene is not inherently terrible. It works if you assume that Edelgard is metaphorically sticking her fingers in her ears through the whole thing and spouting her rehearsed, blatantly flawed rhetoric about human nature and assumptions about Dimitri’s character that prove that she doesn’t know him very well at all and doesn’t care to. I’ve read that several lines are markedly different in Japanese, although not necessarily better? Either way this is a scene of two people talking past each other repeatedly that accomplishes nothing except to set the stage for the final cutscene, underscoring that AM was never really about politics so much as people at its narrative center.

#Fire Emblem #FE16 #Fire Emblem Three Houses #Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd #Edelgard von Hresvelg #Azure Moon

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alternativewinxcontinuity · 4 years

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Don't mind me, just losing my mental sh*t

Has anyone else ever noticed it always seems to be the people who’ve never written/posted anything that leave the most unnecessary (and often meanest) comments?

Or the people who themselves write like they haven’t hit puberty yet but feel like they can comment like a professional editor by giving advice that is exactly the opposite of what they were just saying needs to be fixed?!

Not Winx Related, I just really needed to vent. I got a shit review on a non-Winx Story and as I bitch a little about that I'm finally taking the time to address a review I got on my GOT fic, which turned nasty that I want to pick apart, but not to his face because he is not the kind of reviewer who should be interacted with, so I'mma dump it here. (Rant un-beta'd.)

Like? You really want to leave a comment on chapter 2 of a part 30 chapter fic that you haven’t read saying shit like:

“I don’t see the point its basically a rewrite”

When, had you read even one chapter on, you would have begun to see the divergence that is about to slowly snowball out of control while the universe does its best to stay on track. (yes the 'its' typo is review accurate.)

Like buddy, I get it, you've never written anything in your life and you think this is okay to say to someone because, and this may surprise you: you're an asshole.

"The point" was that it was a fun idea, "the point" was that I was enjoying the crossover and figuring out how everything could go wrong by replacing a single major part, "the point" was many, many other people found it hilarious and so did I. Not "the point" but it was also a version of Harry Potter not written by a fcking TERF.

Or:

'This Character is just really out of character, you're doing a bad job of writing him.'

Okay *goes to check their fics to see how they wrote him to see if she can figure out where reviewer is coming from. they have no fics in the fandom.* 'hey reviewer, you say he's out of character, how would you go about fix him so he's more in character?'

'Oh well, he's just not very *season 1 characterisation despite the fact he's explicitly stated to be season 3 end of his character growth story arc*, you should have him do *a thing that is something he would never have done even in season 1*'

Or shit like (and this is a long one from 'Richard' who hid behind the Anon function):

"This is a great fic. It's surprisingly difficult for me to optimize the protagonist. So first,"

Like? excuse you? why would you need to optimize my character?

"I really hope Sansa chooses to mine the metric tonnes of valuable honey and wax from that beehive once she gets her inventory."

So I hate to admit that the honey and wax would be a good idea, and she will be getting a boon of that, but it will be because she'll be getting Bee Hives later, not because she'll think to strip mine a people in dire straights.

"Also, she has valyrian steel claws, which she now knows can dig into the rock very easily. Those crumbling ledges? She can dig new ones, she can dig a staircase. She can widen the entrance so that her soldiers come in to help mine the liquid gold. Especially since she appreciates the difference between currency and goods. Of course, maybe she'll establish diplomatic relations instead."

So I am going to look so fcking petty when I finally get the next chapter out, because I actually addressed this idea with reality. Trust me, I did some research, and while there's almost nothing easily found on how long it would take to do this sort of work by hand, what I found supported the idea that it's stupid. It takes (and I shit you not) literal days with a team of men using hand tools to carve through even a few metres of rock (the exact time depends on how hard the rock is and how large they make the opening/area).

Sansa would be literally clawing at the walls with her nails which, while yes they are Valyrian steel, are still attached to very human fingers and arms. and here's where my first hand knowledge kicks back in: I went on a mock archaeological dig when I was in high school, I spent several hours scrapping layers of compact sand to uncover artefacts, resistance levels aside, the repeated action is hell on your muscles, Sansa would spend as much time recovering as she would digging. to get all the way to the entrance would take her literal years with Richard's suggested method.

PLUS: the point of the adventures is for SANSA (and Arya) to have the spot light, to be forced to think and find ways to use the new Abilities they've been given, or to come up with new ones. It's part of my whole "Power is Earned, or it is Corrupted" mentality, if you don't work for it, you will sooner rather than later abuse it.

AND: of course she's going to use diplomatic solutions, she's Sansa, and that's what the clue of foreshadowing was saying! Literally everything you need to know to solve the Dungeons is in their individual clues!!!

"Secondly, medieval people already had long-lasting torches which burned for hours and hours instead of 5-10 minutes. Each torch looked like a pillar or stupidly elongated torch that was carried with the tip lit and burning down like a candle. They also didn't use candles as those were too expensive. They used rushes soaked in fat which could be made by the dozens to hundreds with a few hours' work. There's a youtube video on this subject entitled medieval misconceptions: torches and candles."

Oh. My. God. Such. Valuable. Information. If . Only. I had. Known. This. When. I wrote. about. reed candles. in this. very fic.

Literally of the four times I used the word candle, twice it was explicitly 'reed candles' (and guess what other name rushes go by?) and once it was a metaphor specifically about the smoke and not the candle.

As for the pillar candles, the ones that burn for hours are too heavy for someone of Sansa's size and arm strength and the hour candles, (if you've ever seen Avatar Last Airbender, the candles they used in the Secret Tunnel) are unwieldy and aren't so good for putting down in a way that doesn't risk them going out. (Putting them far enough into a wall sconce that it won't topple back out makes it very tricky to remove it.)

Which, why even bother with torches that are more effort to obtain when Sansa's powers make the 'advantage' obsolete anyway!? Not to mention: Displayed Content! If a show uses something even in the background, it exists in that world. Wax candles aren't that rare. (Also side note, because I do my fcking research: the majority of hives which supply the honey and wax to Westeros are owned by the Maesters of old town.)

"I don't really care about those things though. The latter is a mistake literally everyone makes and I didn't know was a mistake until a month ago. Which goes into my third point, how Sansa could optimize things."

Then why bring it up, especially since I didn't technically make said mistake??

"At this point she knows she needs people and she's already given her powers to someone trustworthy. She also knows that healing is a power she can give. And she knows they're going to need this at least as much as medics. And there are indeed people she trusts whom she hasn't approached with an offer of power. Ned Stark, Catelyn Stark, Lyra Mormont of Bear Island, and Tyrion Lannister. Tyrion Lannister can wait but not forever. Lyra should be approached as soon as possible."

NO. Arya was the exception, not the rule, Sansa isn't going to just go off and give her god-blessed powers to anyone else. I was hesitant to give it to Arya as it was, and only let myself because I could use the 'Arya's God is Death, there's more stakes than you thought' to fully justify it.

Tyrion as he is can't be trusted, and future Tyrion chose Dany over Sansa, neither Sansa nor Arya know how his story ended, so as far as they are concerned he's a good ally, but not actually trust worthy enough for this.

For those of you confused, Lyra Mormont is one of the daughters of the Lady Maege Mormont, and one of Lyanna's sisters. Lyra got maybe two mentions in the books and nothing in the tv series so I can only assume Richard meant Lyanna, who is currently 2 years old! But we'll come back to this, because Richard sure did!!!

As for the medic thing, I really hope Richard meant he was fcking off for good in his final word, because if he comes back, I really don't want him to think he's responsible for the medic corps that I've been planning and attempting to foreshadow with Sansa approaching Luwin, and Beth and Jeyne following Sansa's lead with archery.

Like, oh hey, guess which unfortunate field medic bride of a Stark might find her way to Winterfell if she hears about young women being trained in some basic healing to help Maester Luwin deal with any cases of over flow of patients. That's right, I'm planning for triage nurses! No magical powers required.

"I assume she's going to get glass from Lys through the Tapestry of Doors. For that she's going to need tokens. She's going to need tokens for everything, and she already knows it. So collecting and hoarding tokens should be a big priority for her. And that means going places where there are tokens to be got. Places she hasn't gone to yet, like The Wall and Bear Island. Just to get tokens."

No. Again, just NO! Sansa already stated that Tokens and relying on them were a thing that would come back to bite her, she'll horde them as she finds them, but she's not going out of her way to find them because she has things to do! Also: the Tapestry of Doors was a piece of Flavour text for way late in the fic if it ever came back, and like a Stargate, requires one at each end, so someone would have to travel to Lys anyway, which is dumb when Sansa now has a Loom which can copy any 'raw' material, and the ability to convert that 'raw' material' into any object she has the blueprint for, which she can get by 'scanning' with her console.

She just has to put 2 and 2 together!!

"She also knows there are dungeons in each place, and that she needs to get to them. And that it's better if she gets in with people. Like people Lyra trusts to whatever dungeon is in Bear Island."

The thing about the Dungeons is that the whole thing is for Sansa, some of them will have special requirements, but very few of them are crucial, they're just there so Sansa has a place and a trial to obtain Unique Items of game breaking power or ability.

"The last way to optimise her powers is one I don't think she'll take even though it has a lot of benefits. Going with a squad of soldiers into the Dreadfort's dungeon in order to confront the walking dead, with hit and run tactics slowly draining the population there. The main benefit and reason to do this is to harden and blood the soldiers to prepare them for the Long Night, so she should have the soldiers on rotation in order to expose as many as possible to the horrors to come."

Problem is the undead in the Dreadfort Dungeon aren't the same as the Wights and White Walkers, they can just be killed in the same ways. The idea of these kinds of fics is that by the time the Long Night Comes, Sansa and Arya can do most if the heavy lifting. You are right that Sansa wouldn't risk her people for some EXP though.

Sansa will be going back though, there's a pair of Shears and Needle in there.

"Also, the loot should be great. Perhaps another loom. But I would do it even for more bobbins. Or nothing at all."

Literally the Loom is a one off item. It is super powerful with what it can do in the context, so having more than one would ruin the power balance I've been trying to keep between Power Fantasy and OP Bullshit.

Someone of course pointed out that (Richard said Lyra, but responder said Lynna) Lyanna was currently literally 2 or 3 years old, she can't do shit. (they also brought up that 2 (actually 3) characters had already declined the super powers, because it included bad timeline memory downloads.) Guess how Richard took that?!

If you guessed "not well" you get a cookie!

Seriously, I was kind of annoyed at his review because^^^ reasons he was wrong about stuff, but also the arrogance of 'telling me how to optimize my character' was just, icky, so I was just going to ignore him.

But then he went (in response to the other reviewer):

"(snort) I think you need to recall what Lyanna Mormont is like at 10 years of age. She is a force and she is in charge. And what exactly is your objection, that Sansa needs consent or is preserving innocence?"

No moron, the objection is that she's literally 2 or 3 years old, what the fck is she going to do in her tiny little body? But yes, now that you mention it, Sansa (was assaulted and lost her bodily autonomy, she) would place a huge amount of importance on consent, it's one of the reasons she was so upset by Arya taking advantage of her sleepy state to get her to agree.

"Lyanna Mormont wouldn't care. Jon and Robb care, that's why their sister cares. Lyanna would never thank Sansa for trying to preserve her innocence, keep her ignorant, or keep her weak. She would be insulted."

Lyanna is literally 2 or 3 years old, she doesn't know enough to care or be insulted by not being told that she's lost the chance to remember several years of horrific shit before being violently murdered.

Also I notice you didn't say anything about the name correction. Got it wrong the first time did you?

"Which leaves only respecting Lyanna's will. Or her mother's will maybe. Or at least informing them of what she's decided to do before she does it so they can prepare. But Sansa gains nothing by not asking."

And what would she gain by asking? also nothing. Lyanna is 2 or 3 years old. Also the fic isn't about her. Why would Sansa even trust her? The child who thought she could judge Sansa for being unable to stab her way out of some horrible places? who scorned Sansa because she was femme? Because Sansa's strength isn't the same as hers so Lynna decided Sansa didn't have any?

Lynna chose Jon to lead the North over Sansa who had a better claim to the throne, Jon, who spent the entire 8th season saying how much he doesn't want to be king, Jon who legit just tried to walk away from the Command of the Nights Watch.

"And this brings up another issue, the fact Sansa never decided FOR Jon and Robb cuts both ways. She informed them of their choice and she let them make it."

"Sansa didn't keep them in the dark without informing them of the decision she was making for them, as you seem to want to do, since that definitely isn't the right thing to do. Mushroom management is a shit heap."

The boys were already aware that something was up, Sansa had nothing to gain by lying, and she made the offer before she realised the memories were a thing.

"The question to ask a toddler is "do you want to grow up?" it's not a difficult question to ask and it does have a meaningful answer. And that's the problem you have, because you already know Lyanna Mormont would say yes and you want her to say no. That's why you want the question never asked."

"You want to pretend that Lyanna Mormont, DEFINITELY in charge of bear island at 10 years of age, is a gormless wimp like 25 year old Jon Snow who refused to be king and refused to even THINK whether or not Daenerys would be a good queen by constantly uttering the refrain "she is my queen"."

Laynna was in charge because she was the last of her family, everyone else was lost fighting someone else's war. More importantly: she's not even part of the equation? Why would Sansa travel to Bear Island to ask a 2 or 3 year old if she wants to become an angry and traumatised 10 year old in a 2 or 3 year old body which will feel like a prison because she's not as tall or fast as she used to be, because she can't lift or climb or jump or ride or fight like she used to.

And for what? a few super powers she has to ask Sansa for? For mental trauma her family and friends cannot comprehend?

But no, have a look at the part where Richard really started to cross the line:

"No, Lyanna Mormont wants power, wants to grow up, that is obvious. And you're an obstacle in her way. She would hurt you for standing in her way, probably smashing a mace in your knees. And you're so weak that yes you would in fact be hurt by a 2 or 3 year old toddler. She killed a giant and she would have no problem killing you for daring to think you're a giant."

"Stand aside little man and let Lyanna Mormont have her glory."

Now I don't know what this guy's obsession is with Lyanna, but that sounded like a threat to me. Like, who tells people that a fiction character would physically maim or murder a real person just for pointing out said fictional character is 2 or 3 years old?

Lyanna doesn't want power? She's not that kind of person, even if she is fictional? More importantly:

Neither I nor the reviewer were 'standing in her way' because she's a fictional character who's not even in this fic!!!

But his behaviour was pretty shit, so I told him to knock it off or I was going to turn the review filters on.

That went about as well as you might expect.

So I was All:

[I don't know what you think you mean by 'optimize the character' but half of your assumptions are wrong, the rest run counter to my pre-existing plans and I don't care for your overall demeanour. I was prepared to leave your post be, but your recent reply is inappropriate and uses language which runs VERY close to sounding like a death threat, which I DO NOT APPRECIATE. I don't want to be 'that bitch', but I am going to ask you to please be respectful, or I will be turning on the comment filters.]

Because I don't Know if you know this but AO3 has three filters in the privacy tab of every story posted:

1] “Only show your work to registered users”

this means that you MUST be logged in to an AO3 account to even find it let alone read it

2] Disable Anonymous Comments

you Must be logged in to leave a comment

3] Enable Comment Moderation

doesn't matter what you say, with out Author OK, your review will not be showing up in the comment section.

(… tumblr just did that thing again where it refreshes in the middle of my thousands of words of text and loses all my stuff, it is literally making me want to kill myself. Because I have to retype all the responses from the next fcking section. It's my own fault for not just using a word document, but also: fck tumblr? For being stupid?)

So, from here Richard had three options:

1- Apologise and move one

2- say nothing and pretend it hadn't happened and move on

3- He went with this:

“Your Sansa Stark is weaker than canon Sansa Stark. It's true your Sansa Stark has a strictly higher level of ambition than Sansa Stark. But what she uses in order to achieve her goals, her resources, is weaker.”

“She uses actions, capabilities and skills. She uses embroidery, archery, learning (archery), she uses the people she already knows but not strangers. She uses and manipulates the people she can interact with, learn from, act upon. The level of people that is directly equal to skills.”“

She doesn't use language, nor does she use strangers. Strangers are the level of people that don't require interaction but DO require language to deal with. And your Sansa Stark's language is too weak. When she manipulates the maid in the Dreadfort, it's entirely accidentally and unintentionally.”

Sansa has seen what power does to people, she's seen what lies ahead for the manipulators of the world, she's been taught at the side of Cersei and Petyr, and she does not want to become them. For all the horrific things she's gone through, Sansa came out the other side with her compassion intact, possibly even stronger than before.

“She talks to Domeric only because she's already interacted with him, she's been healing him for days by that point. She fakes Green Dreaming to her father because she knows her language is inadequate and will achieve nothing. The way her father and mother treat her, they know mere words would be inadequate. And they would dismiss any words she said. "Haven't we told our children dreams can't hurt you?"”

She doesn't want to interact with Domeric, he looks like the man who violated her repeatedly, killed her brother and sacked her home. She wants to be as far away from him as possible. When she does end up interacting with him, despite being so sleep deprived it's a wonder she hadn't started hallucinating, she manages to win him over pretty easily.

She fakes Green Dreaming because “a god made me time travel” is not only a ridiculous concept but a foreign one as well. Why would Sansa tell her parents that when it would mean admitting to going through some horrific shit, to letting her family down and being let down by her family when Green Dreams are a known thing which explains her knowledge. It's not inadequacy, it's efficiency and an attempt to hide horrible things.

I need to point out that “Haven't we told our children that dreams can't hurt you?” is said by Catelyn in self-recrimination afterwards, and is said specifically to reference the reason Sansa might not have felt she could go to them with her problem was because it was based on dreams. Because what parent would take dreams as a serious threat unless they were a Nightmare on Elm Street survivor, especially since Green Seers have become so rare they've been relegated back to myths and stories by the time Jojen and Bran show up.

“Language requires actions such as mouthing, shouting, tonguing, but actions will never add up to language. Actions are necessary but NOT SUFFICIENT for language. This is why you can't write a single damned sentence with only actions. Try it, you won't be able to.”

I can't take this paragraph seriously if only because of the use of the word 'tonguing'. FFS, he sounds like a small child trying to convince people he's got a PhD. 'If I throw out some big words and phrase them right they'll sound 'academic' and I'll look smarter!

'I know this probably isn't what Richard meant but: Sign Language? Is literally all actions?

(Obviously real language requires thoughts and concepts to be communicated to be a language, but even the most primitive of body movements can express something: I'm hot, I'm hungry, I'm angry, etc. It might not be true language, but it is communication, which is the basis of language, the reason we made language in the first place.)

“Canon Sansa Stark had dreams, plans, and designs on what others have. She wanted to wed a prince, she had designs on the princess position. She wanted out of King's Landing. She wanted Winterfell. She wanted the Knights of the Vale to fight ... FOR HER.”

“People who had never met canon Sansa Stark in their entire lives fought and died for canon Sansa Stark's benefit. For the designs of a (her words) stupid girl. And sure, her initial designs were stupid. And they only rose up to being pathetic. But they were designs, they were dreams, they were plans.”

I need to talk about my interpretation of Sansa for a minute, because that's what I've been writing: my interpretation of Sansa.

Sansa was raised with an idea of how the world should be, not how it was. She was raised loved and protected and surrounded by men of honour. Fed stories of heroes, brave knights and valiant princes, where good always triumphed, or was romantically defeated and beautifully tragic.

She wasn't raised to expect dishonourable men and hidden motives, she wasn't raised expecting a (metaphorical) dagger in her back.

She didn't want the crown, she didn't want the throne, she wanted “the prince” from her stories, who would cherish her and care for her and give her a family filled with love. And yes the pretty dresses and the shiny jewels and the adoration and praise. But she never wanted power, that came later.

Later after she'd seen the cracks in the world and the grime beneath the gilding, when she'd learned friend and foe were often the same, that people with power would hurt her, use her, that she was nothing but a trophy to them.

Sansa wanted power because “if I'm the one with the power, then they can't hurt me any more, if I have the power I'll be safe, if I have the power then I can protect people, if I have the power I can stop people like that.”

But Sansa has never had power, it was always borrowed, an illusion that could vanish at one misstep. She had no money of her own, her blood made her valuable to others as a trade commodity, but gave her no personal power.

When people fought for her, it was never really about her.

Petyr gave her armies so he could win favour so he could use her as a proxy for her dead mother. Brienne fought to fulfil an oath to Sansa's dead mother.

The Men of the North fought for Winterfell, to get revenge on the Boltons. The Wildings followed Jon Snow. And when it was over, it was Jon who was crowned king, not Sansa the one who had to talk him into getting back their home in the first place.

Her parents and Robb fought for her, but their armies fought for House Stark, for the insult Sansa and Arya's capture and Ned's death presented.

“Your Sansa Stark has no plans, has no dreams, and certainly has no designs. She doesn't use language, because her language is too weak and has no power. She doesn't use her emotions or feelings because they are brittle and far too weak to be used. Weaker even than the emotions and feelings of a stupid girl. She doesn't use her mind or intellect because she doesn't cogitate. She uses skills and ONLY skills. To try to fake everything else.”

It's odd that he says this when he started off this response by saying my Sansa was more ambitious than canon Sansa.

First of all: I thought I was making it fairly clear that her goals were: save her family, save the North, stop the White Walkers.

Her dreams are to never be beholden to another man ever again.

Sansa wants her family alive, she wants to be safe and she wants to be free of all the political manipulations she had to sit through in the first timeline.

Second of all: Richard has clearly never been assaulted in his life in any way and I am so fcking happy for him. Really.

Look, people who suffer long term trauma, (or short term, it doesn't matter how long really) are not magically okay afterwards. The idea that sexual assault makes femme women strong is disgusting and so toxically prevalent in movies and shows and books these days its... horrific. You'll notice butch women like Arya aren't typically assaulted to be strong, because they're already so 'manly'. It was a genuine surprise when they tried to have Brienne assaulted, but that was more about showing how much of a 'good guy' Jaime was than Brienne.

You can really tell in several places that the tv series had non-con fetishists on staff.

Sansa is so brittle now, because she feels safe enough to let herself feel the fear she wasn't able to earlier, to work through the panic and the anger and all the emotions she couldn't before.

“Your Sansa Stark plans to use skills in order to change the world. And since it's obvious the world isn't run by woodcutters or farmers or archers or anyone else defined by their SKILLS, she will fail. She will fail abysmally, totally and catastrophically. She hasn't got the slightest sliver of a chance.”

Quick tally: Sansa has managed to convince her parents she had knowledge of the future, put them on track to realising Petyr Baelish was stealing from the Crown, got Stannis curious in Dragonstone, came up with a plan to gain favour for the North by helping to pay of part of the Crown's debt and has begun working on a plan to ensure more food is available for the Northerners when Winter arrives.

Not to mention, (and you'd easily miss this): Sansa has begun influencing a shift in the young women of the North who had previously been influenced by the South.

The thing is, Richard seems convinced its about the looting and the grinding, 'kill enough stuff and you become a God!' but it's not.

“So you stacked the deck in her favor. You put a high tier deity on her side. Now Sansa has a slim chance to squeak out a win, using the power she's borrowing. But here's the thing, it will never be HER win because it isn't HER power, it isn't HER plans. Your Sansa Stark has no plans, but her deity does, even if they're stupid plans of puerile amusement-seeking. So IF there is a victory at the end, it will never be Sansa Stark's victory, it will be her deity's. Because she is only a pawn, a tool, a peon, a minion.”

Richard doesn't seem to understand what the introduction of Arya's God means for the lore. The amount of death from the wars is causing Bad Things in the back ground of the original timeline.

Sansa isn't the Being's pawn, she's their start player, the Being is a sponsor who's giving Sansa the chance and resources to be greater than she was. It's not about 'puerile amusement-seeking', but how do you tell a young woman who's gone through what Sansa's gone through that the fate of the entire human race is in her hands, that if she fails it won't just be her family that falls.

If Sansa thinks the Being just wants amusement, then Sansa will act as she pleases and hope it's good enough, which puts her closer in line with saving the world than if she's actually trying to save the world, because that is a much bigger task than 'stop the issues that got my family killed'.

The Being is only victorious if Sansa is, it's their shared victory.

Now up until this point Richard has been an arrogant tool, but it might almost seem like he's being reasonable. This is where he loses the plot and just starts back on his favourite fall back: threatening people with violence.

“Now generally, when an author writes a protagonist who is a pawn, a tool, a peon and a minion of a higher power, when they write a protagonist who is WEAK, it's because they themselves are weak. Generally doesn't mean universally however, so I had to know. And now I do. You are weak Jasper.”

“You want to convince me of something Jasper. You want to convince me that I'm wrong, that my opinion is wrong, that my position is wrong, you want me to change my mind, you want me to know my plans and judgment are wrong. Because they're in conflict with yours. But how do you achieve this? By threatening me with your borrowed power. Exactly like your Sansa Stark.”

Did he have to google the list of synonyms there?

I don't know what it is about being referred to by name, but it bugs me that he chose to use only a portion of my pen-name like we were somehow familiar, rather than not using my name or referring to me as OP or something along those lines.

Also I really have to disagree that only weak people write about people being weak, but I don't think his opinions of weak and strong match with mine either.

He is wrong, but more importantly: he threatened someone with violence for daring to correct him.

I wasn't threatening him, I was warning him to stop being an asshole or I would disable anonymous commenting.

“You do this because you're weak. And what do we call weak people who complain about strong people's actions when they are the bitches of higher powers? We call them exactly what you "don't want to be", we call them bitches. You are a bitch to higher powers and you bitch about higher powers like me. You bitch about people who can use their intellects. And for a good reason too.”

“You fear my attitude because I am the bitch slapper. I slap little bitches like you all fucking day long every single day. It doesn't matter to me who it is, whether it's my own friends who are bitching, I slap them for it. And you will never ever convince me that you're right. Because you're weak. And because I don't respect bitches.”

Look, I've seen enough therapists of different varieties to pull off some impressive psych 101 bullshit so I can tell you right now: Richard is a man who has never held any real authority in his life, he has mediocre skills at best and often feels talked down to because he feels more entitled than he is and no one treats him like a god for breathing. He refuses to back down when wrong even in the face of evidence and then he pouts because the world didn't shift to match his delusions.

The worst part is I know this, and I know I shouldn't let this bother me. But it does. But it shouldn't and I can tell him to his 'face' via review reply why he's wrong, or he'll know it bothers me, then he'll feel validated, even though he's wrong. And he'll probably threaten someone with more violence and then I really will have to disable anon comments and effectively punish some readers who did nothing wrong.

“So what are you going to do to me that I care about? Stop me from reading your fic? You don't have that power. Stop writing it so that I can no longer learn how your mind works, my ulterior motive? That would be cutting your nose to spite your face. You would suffer far out of proportion to me. I would just move on to some other author. Report me? Go ahead, I don't care. Really, we're done here, so have a nice life.”

Yes I do, literally the first of the privacy filters would stop you from reading, but that would hurt my other readers who don't have an account.

'Ulterior motive'? Buddy, you apparently don't understand how any mind works.

Again: if you don't care why bring it up?

Are you really leaving though? Do you promise?!

“The only thing you could ever do to me is surprise me by ceasing to be a weak little bitch. Or even resolving to not be one. This would invalidate all of my predictions by rising to my implied challenge. That's what I like, win-win. (lol) I'm not holding my breath though.”

I don't have anything to prove to this douche tool and it bothers me that this is bothering me so much!!!! The worst part is, this review came at a time when my attention for the fic was flagging, so I'll never know if it was really this review or not that made me stop writing for the past few months?

Those of you with an AO3 account who drop by my profile to see if I wrote anything interesting may have noticed my recent 'for archive users only' locked fic. I can confirm that yes: to mental detox this review I went and watched a Chinese Xianxia drama that has become my new hyper-focus. Almost 100 plot bunnies are being posted into the locked fic in an effort to purge it rom my brain so I can get back to what I was doing. It seems to be working. I wrote about 1000 words for Episode: Sisterhood this week, so the chapter is almost done. At last!

#just blog stuff #i’m just bitching now #absolute aggro #swearing #op would like to die #not winx or alt con related #i'm just really angry about it even though I know I should know better #eleven pages of op being an angry incoherent mess

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riviae · 5 years

Note

Regis and/or Dettlaff for the character headcanon meme (ya know, if a hundred others haven't already asked lol)

character meme (accepting!): under a read more due to length

Regis:

favorite thing about them:

besides his obvious kind heart & unflinching loyalty, i love how passionate he is about things!! dude’s been alive for 400+ yrs & he still wants to travel, to make friends, to learn, to teach, to heal, to share his interests & knowledge. he loves life–loves humanity (cdpr can miss me w/ his referencing humans as mosquitoes metaphor nonsense)–& is my favorite example of a good redemption story/character.

least favorite thing about them:

he can be… rather pretentious at times. but to his credit, he never really belittles or alienates anyone in the hansa–it’s more like he has a lot of ‘high-brow’ interests for the time/setting (not counting distilling, of course) & in sharing/explaining them, he goes a bit over the top. i don’t think it’s on purpose, but case in point… not everything has to be a lecture, ya know?

favorite line:

kinda cheating on this, but my favorite scene of anything ever is this one from lady of the lake:

“Well,” sighed Regis. “Have it your way. I’ll have to avoid mirrors and dogs, and will have to beware of sorcerers and telepaths… And if I’m still exposed, I’m counting on you.”“You can count on me,” Geralt said seriously. “I’m not in the habit of leaving a friend in need.”The vampire smiled and because they were alone, he did not hide his fangs. “Friend?”

now specifically from b&w, i like this line from Regis’ journal: People justify bad deeds by good intentions. I’m not sure if there is greater idiocy

brOTP:

geralt/regis (which you’ll also see in the otp section), regis/yen (goth-nerd solidarity & also they both love geralt so jot that down), & regis/angouleme (he’s a wonderful uncle figure to angouleme)

also if regis ever got to meet vesemir i’m 100% sure they’d have gotten along swimminglg

OTP:

geralt/regis–it’s my lifeblood babey

nOTP:

romance-wise, any regis/hansa member that isn’t geralt is just not my cup of tea as well as regis/dett****

random headcanon

after his second regeneration, he became wearier around unknown sorcerers/sorceresses/magic users (w/ the exception of yen). at one point, geralt had decided to light a candle near regis using igni w/o really thinking abt it & noticed that regis had visibly flinched. geralt apologized immediately & now lets regis know when he’s abt to light something using magic (’normal’ fires, those not started by magic, don’t bother him. so it’s less of an aversion to fire & more of an aversion to fire made thru magic).

unpopular opinion:

i don’t really like his sideburns or hairline–not bc i think the design is bad per se (i think it solidified his intro in b&w as a more scholarly character), but bc i think it ages him much more than necessary. when the other 2 higher vampires (dettlaff, orianna, hell–even the unseen elder), look much younger, then it just seems unusual imo. a middle-aged tax collector w/ a crooked nose is how sapkowski describes him & idk, i think cdpr just wanted to give regis a more stereotypical scholarly look instead of using descriptions from the books.

song i associate with them:

when i’m in an angst™ mood, this song is what makes me think of regis (& higher vampires in the witcher series in general). it’s called far from home (the raven) by sam tinnesz

favorite picture of them (i’m too lazy to do this but assume every picture of regis is my fave)

Dettlaff:

favorite thing about them

his hobbies! woodworking & building toys for kids is nice™; cdpr should’ve at least given us a tiny scene of him tinkering on stuff. presumably he has a caring nature given that he nursed regis back to health but once again, cdpr couldn’t be bothered to flesh out the interesting aspects of his character & instead gave us an albeit cool but ultimately unnecessary boss battle :/

least favorite thing about them

oof, his lack of patience & propensity towards violence. well, perhaps propensity is the wrong word; i mean that in a character who is powerful/deadly (in which even a brief lapse in judgement could mean death for another), a hair trigger temper is... not going to endear me to them. for instance, i don’t think that dettlaff went to tesham mutna with the intent of killing syanna--i don’t think he knew himself what he would do upon seeing her. BUT, he still did it--& i’m sorry but killing an unarmed/defenseless (presumably unarmed, but even if she were armed it wouldn’t change the fact that she was defenseless against him & dettlaff knew that) woman in a fit of rage (who yes, wronged dettlaff greatly) speaks of a deeper problem relating to his inability to process his emotions.

i originally thought that cdpr was going to do some cool parallels between dettlaff and geralt bc both have issues w/ emotion but in different ways (i.e., dettlaff has difficulty controlling his while geralt has trouble expressing them), but they shared maybe a handful of sentences w/ each other before the conclusion of the dlc so yeah D:

favorite line:

“If you acknowledge any gods... start praying, now.”

brOTP:

regis/dettlaff is pretty much it/the only relationship i find interesting in b&w for dett anyway

OTP:

dettlaff/character development

nOTP:

mentioned in regis’ list above, but i also am not a fan of geralt/dett

random headcanon:

his “pack” up until syanna consisted almost entirely of orphaned lower vampires. whether due to their family dying or abandoning them, dett’s reserved & calming demeanor makes it easier for LVs to trust him. he’s nursed plenty of injured LVs back to health & when he passed thru the remnants of stygga castle, he did so bc he originally thought that he was following the trail of an injured LV (having caught regis’ scent). it was only when he got closer that he recognized the ‘shapeless smear’ was regis--someone he hadn’t seen in centuries--& chose to help him heal despite how taxing it would be.

unpopular opinion

i don’t understand his popularity as a character or how his actions can be defended. his character design is great (i still wanna to buy his moth brooch tbh), he was voice acted very well, & there are hints of an interesting backstory esp in relation to why he chose to help regis regenerate, but that’s not the focus of the dlc.

if i have to rely on regis to explain why dettlaff is a good person/deserves redemption/etc., then that’s lazy writing. i love regis to death, but he, like anna henrietta, was blind to/didn’t want to see his loved one’s faults/misdeeds. u can’t make an unbiased character judgement on someone you’re close to and indebted to imo.

granted, regis himself is an example of dett’s charity since he is alive & well (& also is stressed af bc of dettlaff), but does one good deed wash away all the death he later commits in the attack on beauclair? motivation or not, murder is murder, plain & simple. i can forgive but not condone regis’ actions in his youth bc, arguably, regis was already punished severely for it & chose to change/become a better person. cdpr didn’t give us an option to allow dett to be punished for his crimes (in something other than death--which i don’t think he nor syanna deserve) or let us know if he eventually grows to be a better person w/ the help of regis & so i can only care for him in the respect that i mourn the character he (& syanna) could’ve been.

in summary: everything i dislike abt dettlaff is entirely due to a lack of care when it came to fleshing out his character. we only see him committing acts of violence/murder, never healing or helping. we see the fallout of his anger, see that he feels grief & even remorse (like in de la croix’s death), but it doesn’t excuse the act itself. ppl are more than welcome to like or love morally dark/dubious characters, but i have an issue when a morally dubious character is painted as good or good but misunderstood.

song i associate with them

the song inferno by sir sly gives me real dettlaff vibes: I think you clipped my wings to save me from the sunForgot my hands and knees, I had to learn a lessonOh fearless teacher how'd I ever lose my sightWhy'd I ever try to fight against your path?Somewhere at half my life, I wandered in the woodsCan't find a single right, I swear nothing is goodI'm blinded now and darkness shrouds my every sightWhy'd I ever try to fight for my own path?

favorite picture of them:

once again, too lazy to find one, but his final form in the boss battle was cool even if it kinda went against sapkowski’s lore.

#Anonymous #hannah rambles into the void #warning: if u like dett maybe don't read this as i might've been a tad harsh on his character & i know how it feels when someone criticizes #a fave character #& that's also why i won't be tagging either of them as i don't wanna put these sorts of things into their tag #but yes!! thank u for asking anon ;v; i appreciate it! rambling about the witcher is fun!!

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mittensmorgul · 6 years

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When do you think Dean and Cas's relationship became romantically coded in a consistent, linear, textual way? In other words, when do you think the writers started taking destiel seriously? I love the early stages of their relationship where it was based mainly on surface-level flirting and trying to figure each other out. But I think I really noticed a difference in the direction the writers were taking with them around S6. And of course it really took of in season 8.

Oh gosh, this is a curious thing to ponder… I mean, you can look back at the entire history of the series and with the Wondrous Power of Hindsight, draw a straight line back to like… s1… and say it’s all being set up for Dean and Cas to have an endgame romantic relationship. But the Wondrous Power of Hindsight is… a slightly flawed lens, because of the nature of writing.

Let me explain.

Supernatural has been going on for a Really Long Time now, and it’s intensely self-referential. (see everything I’ve tagged “it’s spirals all the way down” if you don’t get what I mean here). The way they write the story in the present relies heavily on what they have already written in the past. It’s not fair to say they didn’t plant some narrative seeds years ago that are finally beginning to bear fruit now, but some of those were… selectively planted, while others were just happy accidents. Not that this isn’t good storytelling, or unintentional, or happened without any of them noticing trends and themes that they tended to lean on more and more over the years.

This is actually the mark of an incredibly fertile field of oodles of widely-scattered seeds that Dabb and Company are now going back through and weeding things out of (rip fuckface, for example), as well as fertilizing and pruning and watering and tending the garden of the seeds they want to see flourish, you know?

Why am I using gardening metaphors? Eh. Whatever. Hopefully that conveyed the point I was trying to make. Now that I’ve dug this hole for myself, may as well plant myself firmly in this soil and see what sprouts…

So at what point did the gardener step in and put up trellises for Dean and Cas? At what point did they begin actively encouraging them to grow together rather than just occasionally getting knocked into one another by the wind, so to speak? It’s a really difficult question.

I mean, there’s some obvious paralleling going on between them right from the start, with them bonding over the notion of absent and disappointing fathers, being thrown together by circumstance– even if that circumstance is the apocalypse. And they had chemistry with one another from the moment Cas barged through those barn doors (not to mention the whole “I resurrected you from Hell!” aspect of the story that is immediately romantic if you choose to see it that way… and it is a romance trope so that’s an entirely legit way to see it).

Sometimes during those early seasons their “profound bond” and increasingly close friendship was played up for laughs (the whole phone scene and their interactions with the cupid in 5.14, for example), sometimes it was played up for heartbreaking emotion (4.16, for example), and sometimes it was left to be an easy camaraderie, allowing the two of them to work together for a common goal. And all of it began to build this foundation for a much deeper relationship (whether they’d taken it down a more brother/friend road or what eventually became more and more romantically coded).

Even knowing that during the writing of s6, they were fully intending to kill Cas off, potentially permanently, it’s impossible to deny the fact they were trying to milk his eventual death for as much emotional suffering as possible… setting it up so that he’d sacrificed everything in order to spare Dean. And then we had s7, where Dean lost nearly everything over the course of the season, but Cas had been the #1 foundation stone in the pile of things they took from Dean. And like Dean finding out about Cas’s resurrection at the end of 13.05, finding Cas alive in 7.17 was the turning point of the entire emotional arc of s7. That’s when things began looking up and Dean began taking things back. :)

Which brings us to s8… which only continued to build on the themes set up before. They had a choice, and they chose to start throwing high quality fertilizer on Dean and Cas. :P

If nothing else, I’d say they’ve been writing it with underlying intent, quietly in the subtext, since then. And it began poking through into the text in a serious way in s10 (and then got derailed by the plot accordion of doom because they were getting too close to dangerous waters and had to dial it back when they were renewed for s11).

How seriously are they focusing on this now? I mean… after s13, and Dean’s pining, and now hopefully seeing some of that pining from Cas’s side in s14… well… Not to say they’re suddenly going to make wild love confessions or whatever, but they’re still continuing along, growing up that trellis steadily, you know?

#destiel #the scheherazade of supernatural #why gardening metaphors? idk I was sitting on the porch while I was writing this :P #Anonymous

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awed-frog · 6 years

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tl;dr: nope

I got a couple of anon asks about this, and I’m also tagging @twist-shout-and-shells because they asked me to, but I have to say - I don’t know anything about comics, I don’t know Marvel at all, so this review is just a meaningless rant. Like, I know so little about this universe that the first superhero movie I ever saw in my life was Thor, and the only reason they got me was because my mythology-loving ass assumed this would be about the actual god, you know?, so that was a very confusing two hours. Anyway - after this, I’m done with them. The ridiculous hype campaign they created around Infinity War actually activated my crow brain, which means I rushed to the theater because I was sort of expecting this would be a shocking masterpiece and any spoiler would ruin it for me, and - yeah. Never doing that again. Because, whatever - they do manage to come up with some good writing from time to time, and Black Panther’s success had made me hope they’d finally recognize that a solid, coherent and meaningful story is really the first thing you need, but apparently not?

Ugh.

Anyway, here are main reasons why I didn’t like Infinity War.

1) No, we don’t need a new plague

Problem number one with this movie is that it fails to take into account that our IQ as a people has dropped about twenty points over the last thirty years (and I’m not even joking) and that means even a guy nicknamed ‘Mad Titan’ is actually given the benefit of the doubt (I don’t remember anyone thinking Hela might have had a point, but then again, women are known to be emotionally compromised at all times, right, so all that rage was probably PMS and crazy bitches, amirite?, can’t live with them, can’t live without them). And here, predictably, is the result:

I even checked Breitbart so you wouldn’t have to and while they seem confused as to whether they should support this movie or not (don’t watch because Captain America is played by ‘Comrade Communism’, do watch because Chris Pratt is a Good Christian Man), it’s still clear to everybody over there that Thanos, “an environmentalist wacko obsessed with salvaging the natural resources of the universe” is “espousing liberal jibberish”.

So, I’m going to keep it short and mostly sourceless because I saw a lot of people discussing this, but just to be clear: yeah, it is worrying that human population has basically tripled in thirty years, but the correlation ‘more people = more damage & fewer resources’ isn’t as clear-cut as some like to think. Also, research shows that women being recognized as human beings - that’s the actual way to solve this problem (see also x, x), which means that if Thanos had meant business, he could have used those frwaking stones to build schools and family planning centres.

2) Your plan against evil can’t be just saying no

This is probably what bugs me the most both in fiction and IRL: saying ‘Trump is a moron’, ‘capitalism is bad’ or ‘genocide is wrong’ is not a political program. It’s a moral stance, and kudos to you, but if you want to make the world a better place, you need a lot more than that. But, nope - IW fell into this trap with such relish I can actually believe no one saw this as a problem - at all. When Thanos pointed out, rather smugly, that decimating Gamora’s planet had led to a new era of happiness and prosperity, she didn’t react in any way. We never saw Tony or Shuri mentioning the outlandish, extravagant idea that better and greener technology could actually save us all. We never saw anyone point out that when the richest 1% own half the world’s wealth, wiping out half of a Nairobi slum isn’t likely to do much for the environment. I guess it wasn’t relevant to the plot?

3) Turning your audience against the good guys = dick move

That said, our planet is objectively in bad shape, and writers and artists who are (or like to think of themselves as) engagés are more than welcome to discuss this - for all her faults, JK Rowling did that to perfection in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, focusing on the importance of conservation and taking a clear stance against animal trafficking. Other movies, of course, went a lot farther than that: my movie rec of the day is Okja, a masterful and soulwrenching look at how capitalism manages food production. But IW, on top of everything else, manages to be an anti-green movement movie? As if that was needed in any way? Apparently comic!Thanos’ goal was to impress Lady Death or something, and maybe they should have gone with that, because to me, movie!Thanos’ plan sounds like an ill-conceived and unfortunate parody of the green movement. In fact, eminent biologist E. O. Wilson’s Half-Earth explores this exact possibility - which is not about killing off 50% of the population, thank you very much, but about improving agriculture and urban structures so we can leave 50% of the world to the rest of the ecosystem. And maybe it’s just me, but isn’t it a bit weird the book came out at about the same time when IW’s script was being written? I try not to be a paranoid nutcase, but come on. Because what the movie does is that it turns Thanos into a sort of green Hitler whose only focus is the environment (“But he was a vegetarian!”), cue the creepy final shot of him going all ‘Schwarzy in the forest’ surrounded by clean-water creeks and happy animals while we are left counting our dead. The metaphor couldn’t be more obvious, and to be honest it is most unwelcome. Time and place, guys? I really haven’t seen something so revolting since I got to the end of the Da Vinci Code and realized atheists were the true monsters all along.

4) Being a hero doesn’t mean saving your friends

So this is starting to become a trend, and seriously, enough. If you’re a hero, then you need to think of something greater than yourself, and this is why your life will suck and suck and suck until your untimely death. Deal with it? And I can understand Loki giving up the Tesseract for his brother, because he’s always been more of an anti-hero than a hero, and his morals are shot to hell in any case, and I’ll forgive Dr Strange because he clearly saw something we didn’t, but what the hell was Steve thinking? Seriously, I keep seeing posts about how Pure and Noble Steve is, and guys, did we even see the same movie? Bringing Vision to Wakanda meant endangering an entire nation, and thousands of people there paid for that choice with their lives. It’s because Steve insisted in not seeing the big picture - or accepting Vision’s own wishes - that Thanos even succeeded in the first place. If they’d destroyed the stone, Thanos would never have gotten his hands on it, and Wakanda would not have been attacked by a horde of alien demons. Sacrificing hundreds or thousands of nameless (black, African) warriors to keep one (white) man safe is not heroism - it’s cowardice. It’s assuming your own feelings and your friends’ lives count more than the lives of strangers, and this is the exact opposite of how a hero should think. Not that I’m surprised, since Steve already condoned the destruction of half of Bucharest to save Bucky, but whatever. Compare and contrast with Tony, by the way, who first tried to destroy the Time stone, then chose to sacrifice himself to save someone he didn’t even like? Yeah, that’s more like it. #TeamStark

5) Every single woman is defined by her relationship to a man

With the caveat that no emotion, connection or motivation is throroughly explored in IW because it’s an action-packed movie during which people never speak an honest word to each other (relying instead on posturing, movie quotes and sarcastic remarks), here is basically what happens: men have things, and women have men. Tony’s journey is mostly about saving Peter and also sacrificing himself for the world. Steve is all about his friends and various heroics. Dr Strange is a sort of ascetic monk playing the long game. Thanos wants to save the universe or something. And Vision is on a quest towards humanity? Maybe? But the women - Gamora is important because she’s Thanos’ daughter. Scarlet Witch is important because she loves Vision. Natasha (I think she’s in the movie? I don’t actually remember if we hear her speak) is on Cap’s side because Cap. Pepper only appears to remind us of what Tony has to lose. Exceptions to this rule include Shuri, whom IW didn’t quite manage to destroy; Loki, who was always female- and queer-coded, so I’m not surprised he ends up dying for the handsome and suitably Aryan hero; and arguably Starlord, who mostly fights for Gamora (what is a virtue in a woman, however, is a weakness in a man, because Starlord ends up fucking up the plan because of his love for her). And I know they probably tried to compensate for the complete lack of women in the movie by highlighting how powerful Scarlet Witch is and focusing so much on Gamora, but I’m an annoying person, so that didn’t work for me. Because, again, Scarlet Witch is a 2D character plucked directly from a Victorian dictionary’s definition of ‘woman’ (while the menfolk around her worry about the possible demise of the Entire Earth, there she is, channelling all her energy in being a good and loyal companion to her robot husband) and Gamora has no more control over her life in this movie than she had as a child? Her main narrative purpose in IW is to make us feel bad for her boyfriend and father, who’re both driven to kill her (for very different reasons) and suffer for her death (and don’t get me started on Thanos suddenly loving someone and what a stroke of luck, the one person in the universe he gives a damn about just happens to be standing next to him on top of a cliff when he needs to kill her). Seriously, why is it that female characters’ concerns still begin and end with romantic love? This trope that romance is the most important thing for every single woman needed to die, like, yesterday.

6) None of that actually means anything

Look, I’m a sucker of time-travel of any description, but I also think time-travel must be done honestly or not at all. Movies like Back to the Future or Arrival both use time bending to great effect, because the stakes are real and painful and there are all sort of complex decisions facing our heroes. But IW doesn’t care about any of that. The existence of the Time stone is not about ethical dilemmas or even turning up the drama to eleven - the one purpose of that thing is to make us hope that our personal fave is not dead after all, so we’ll keep watching this stupid franchise until the end of times. That finale could have been innovative and heartwrenching, and instead we already know it wasn’t. Samuel L. Jackson is apparently confirmed in Captain Marvel, which will be released next year, and we also know they’re working on Spider-Man 2, Guardians of the Galaxy 3, Black Panther 2 and Doctor Strange 2. Capitalism has very nearly killed the possibility of creating a well-written and gutting story, because the rule is, If it makes money, it goes the fuck on. Hence TV shows which no longer make any kind of sense but we all keep watching out of nostalgia, affection for the characters or dissatisfaction with our own lives, and also franchises which stretch the plot to new and boring limits (for instance, it beggars belief that Tony and Steve didn’t even meet in IW, and their fight never came up at all: I guess we’ll have to wait for IW 2, or Avengers 37: The One with The Talk). And here, again, studios are so greedy that they willingly disregard the fact audiences will reward ‘complete’ stories: for instance, Logan was critically acclaimed and made tons of money, but the risk of ‘permanently’ killing off a beloved character is still considered too high. And playing it safe actually works: IW costed $320 million, which is about 5% of the studio’s budget, and that investment has already been repaid in full (the movie made double that in the first two weeks).

(Meanwhile, 21st Century Fox gained more than one billion dollars from Trump’s TAX REFORM THAT WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN - probably a disappointing amount of money for owner Richard Murdoch, who has a net worth of 15 billion and is known to use some of that hard-earned cash to support laudable & important causes such as the privatization of public education, but hey, we all need to make do and move on, right? Right.)

So this is mostly it. To be fair, IW was mildly entertaining, and I thought they sort of did a good job in juggling twenty leads - we got no character development at all and no meaningful dialogue, but we saw everybody at least once and their lines were funny? Some moments were genuinely good despite a couple of bizarre plot points (I’m still unclear on why Strange didn’t create a circle of fire around Thanos’ arm, and very tired of the overused ‘Yeah, let’s save the most powerful weapons for last’ trope), so I wouldn’t say this was the worst movie ever made, but as I said, I’m done. I’ve given more than enough money to this franchise, so when IW 2 comes out, I think I’ll be a boring adult and watch it on TV as I’m doing my ironing or something. Good times.

#infinity war #iw #iw review #infinity war review #marvel universe #there you go #i think everyone has seen it by now?#here is my take on it #sorry to be annoying

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happyorogeny · 6 years

Text

The Gossip

(~1,900 words)(Kael’thas Sunstrider, Illidan Stormrage, Lady Vashj)(tw familial death, starvation, disordered eating, mention of sex work, alcohol, insomnia)

"We should tell him."

Oh? Kael'thas felt his ears perk up, metaphorically. It would be most unseemly for a prince to have twitchy ears. Even here in the Den, where he ought to be most relaxed, there were eyes on him. He had standards to uphold.

Besides, he didn't quite want Lady Vashj and Lord Illidan to realise he could understand old tongue. Their conversations were most interesting.

Illidan looked annoyed. Then again, Kaldorei always looked annoyed. Their ears naturally sat at the angle of those of an enraged Sin'dorei. It could make social interactions tricky.

Did Illidan think of himself as a Kaldorei?

"They live a half life and look back on their sires and dams with much fondness. He doesn't need to know the foolery and frivolity of his ancestors."

Oh?

"It might make him laugh."

"Or he may consider it an insult. Leave the prince be."

Maybe the prince could do with a laugh.

Illidan yawned, half covering his face with one wing. Kael had a hard time believing he had ever being bound to the earth.

He also suspected he wasn't sleeping properly. The would-be Lord of Outland went through cycles where he didn't eat, didn't sleep but spent the night pacing to and fro in his quarters, nine steps each way. Over and back, over and back in complete silence, as if the tongue had been ripped from his head.

Kael’thas had moved his quarters to the floor under Lord Illidan’s so as to keep an ear on him. He had paced every day for the past week. After some consideration he'd alerted Lady Vashj. They had to be careful how they stepped with this. Illidan was like a glass bird, light-boned and sharp-edged and primed to see danger in a shadow, in a breath, in a glance. Any imagined threat and what weak trust existed there would be gone.

Even now, even here in the armoured depths of a great fortress he sat with his legs tucked beneath him that he might launch into flight at any moment. Even here he stretched his hands often so that the black talons might be limber.

Perhaps for someone like Illidan, stone walls did not feel like safety.

Lady Vashj accepted a glass of something masquerading as wine from one of the courtesans. They flitted around her vast length like brightly coloured birds and she concealed a sibilant giggle as one of them winked at her. She at least was enjoying her surroundings, coiled across three couches that the attendants had pushed together for her and now having the length of her scaly body buffed and polished by a number of masseuses.

Kael had to imagine this wasn’t quite their area of expertise, but they reacted with classic Sin’dorei ingenuity and had fetched a number of rough brushes so as to rid her of dry skin. A small woman with pliers carefully realigned any loose scales while a man in a sheer shirt painted them with nail lacquer so as to mimic a waterproof coating.

She squirmed happily deeper into the cushions.

"He needs to know about his great aunt Deh’lia."

"He absolutely doesn't." Illidan shook his head as one of the attendants tried to tempt him with wine. Kael’thas withheld a wince. It was polite to accept the hospitality of the den, particularly here where they had so little to offer. But Illidan had often tracked dust in here and sought him out to speak of logistics and strategy. He didn’t seem to understand the den was a place of peace, of respite.

Kael’thas had never seen him drink, now that he thought of it. Did night elves drink? Perhaps he couldn’t even digest alcohol. How miserable.

"Not even a bowl of warm soup would have been safe from that woman's advances." Lady Vashj folded two sets of arms.

“It was all play. She panicked if you returned said overtures.” Illidan was watching someone through the walls, gaze travelling from left to right.

Vashj looked like she wanted to fold her last pair of arms, but she held them extended for the two courtesans working on her nails. One of them had quietly slipped down to the stables and fetched some blacksmiths tools in order to actually sharpen her talons.

Kael’thas reached for the tea so as to hide his expression. Father always had been reluctant to speak about great aunt Deh’lia, who had left their fledgling kingdom to become an adventurer.

He braced himself for the wave of grief that rolled over him. His people needed to see him strong. Even in his sorrow, even here, especially here, he couldn't crumble as he wanted to.

Perhaps he ought to join Lord Illidan in his nightly pacing.

"I'm going to tell him about Elis'ain."

"Do not."

"He takes after him. Same hair. Lighter than Dath’Remar’s."

Illidan stirred as the same courtesan from earlier returned to him with a purple juice squeezed from local berries. They had painted swirling arcane designs onto an ordinary glass so that he might see it, but done so carefully enough that it merely seemed decorative. Illidan took it carefully in his claws, holding it between thumb and middle finger as had been the old fashion in court. Kael’thas caught the attendant’s eye and nodded very slightly in approval. She looked down to hide a grin.

“Elis’an once sent me a very artistic picture of himself." Illidan shifted and leaned back upon the low-slung couch, tucking one leg beneath him in an experimental fashion. A fresh tear in the outer membranes of his wing caught Kael’s eye. When had that happened?

"Was it the one with the artful draping of silk? He sent that to everyone."

Everyone? Sparks, had his ancestors had no sense of decorum?

"Alas, I thought I was special." Illidan eyed the courtesan filing Vashj’s nails, her eyebrows set in determination. "Why the knife?"

She blinked up at him, startled.

"We are all armed. If someone comes to attack our guests we are the last line of defence."

He seemed pleased by that. Lord Illidan had initially been quite opposed to the idea of the Den, until Kael had pulled him aside to elaborate that such arts held no shame in their society, that no one was forced to do anything they didn't want to. After that he'd largely lost interest. Even now he seemed indifferent to the courtesans, if not the platters some of them had brought up from the kitchen.

Kael'thas subtly signaled for more food and hoped that Rommath came through on time with supplies next week. Not that he was counting down the days till he saw his companion again. It was merely appropriate for a leader to keep track of all appointments.

Illidan stretched his claws.

“If you must tell him anything tell him that he sounds just like Dath’Remar when he laughs."

"I've never heard him laugh." Vashj couldn’t quite stop herself from glancing at him.

"It's rare of late."

Kael supposed it was, at that. He smiled often. A smiling leader was a relaxed, confident one. Laughter, now, that had escaped him. He would have to work on laughing more often.

Mei'le, who was fond of him and an absolute sweetheart, chose that moment to appear draped in yellow silks and holding aloft with two platters of chocolate covered strawberries.

Where in Alar’s name? He sat up despite himself, bracing his heels for purchase on the couch. How? They'd lost so much in the Scourge attack, including many of their food crops. Chocolate? Strawberries? Those were luxuries and he had ordered the horticulturists to concentrate on wheat, maize, grapes.

The other courtesans and guests were similarly delighted as she set them down on the central table. Mei'le looked mightily pleased with herself as she curled into the divan next to him.

“How is my second-favourite prince?”

It was been too long since someone teased him. He pretended at affront. Mei’le had gotten plump again, he was pleased to see. For a long time she’d relied on an excess of fabric to pretend at health. He still did much the same, wrapping himself in his single remaining court-cloak to hide the fact his ribs stuck out.

She was wearing rose perfume. Sunset rose perfume, specifically, that rare strand with golden petals that ended in brilliant orange.

They had all burned in the scourging of Silvermoon. How?

“Where’d you source the perfume?”

“A lady never tells.”

But ah, that was part of the game. He leaned back on his elbows.

"I do think you are trying to entice me in with your mysteries."

She fluttered her eyelashes.

"Enticing? Me?"

He poked her in the ribs and she squawked.

"Very dignified."

Mei’le made a great show of sulking behind her embroidered fan, but he could tell she was grinning.

"I'll show you if you promise not to tell."

“I never kiss and tell.”

Being an absolute performance artist, she insisted he close his eyes as she led him towards the inner rooms of the Den. It was noticeably warmer here. Sweat prickled along his arms and he debated leaving his cloak behind. He only had one cloak now, two sets of day-clothes and a night gown. Everything else had been sold so as to feed and clothe the others.

Mei'le kissed his cheek before letting him open his eyes and he immediately made use of their privacy so as to pout.

"Taking advantage of a young man."

But it seemed as if Mei’le had been busy indeed. This room was curved and tall like a tower, now hollowed out. An immense golden poplar reached towards a domed glass ceiling overhead, exactly the same as the trees that had lined Silvermoon’s avenues. Up on its highest boughs he saw cacao pods, surrounded by vivid blue and indigo butterflies.

His magic told him it was much warmer up there, with temperatures dropping off in the lower parts of the room. A classic rose maze sprawled before him, lined with Royal dark reds, Noble pinks, even the golden Sunset rose. Nestled in at their roots he saw the runners of wild strawberries.

Mei'le smiled at his obvious joy.

“How?”

"Everyone grabbed what they could when we left. I found some seeds sewn into my gran’s handkerchief. Others we found in jewelry boxes, in the pockets of old coats.”

“All this from mere fragments?” But then, hadn’t Dath’Remar created a kingdom from the scraps of the Highbourne?

It was nice to kiss and be kissed again, but something was amiss these days. He couldn't relax.

"You are lovely as ever, but I must attend..." He gestured.

"Of course you must. But linger just a moment and let me fix your concealer."

He smiled and practiced a laugh. It sounded real, but weary. That wouldn't do. Mei'le broke out a small brush and smoothed creamy paint under his eyes, lips pursed.

"You've lost weight, sweet Prince."

"Why, it will save me having to contour."

She scoffed at him, but squeezed his hand as he left.

"Eat. None of our people go hungry anymore. Why should you?"

The platters made it easier, for he could see everyone eating around him. He could almost pretend it was Silvermoon again, a party in a guesthouse, a celebration. He could almost pretend all was well, that Rommath would soon appear to scold him, insist he go home, and then immediately get dragged into a conversation about inter-magical politics with one of the courtesans.

Vashj seemed to have very much enjoyed the wine for she had dozed off in a contented coil amidst the cushions, forked tongue flickering as she dozed.

Surprisingly Illidan had remained, sitting where he could perceive the entire room and carefully licking chocolate off his claws. A dozen strawberry stalks sat in the empty glass next to him. He froze as if caught in a trap when Kael’thas plopped onto the couch.

“What was Dath’Remar like?” He wasn’t drunk, but it could be useful to pretend he was, and Illidan didn’t know enough of Sin’dorei etiquette to disapprove of him.

For a split second Kael could have sworn he saw the ghost of a smile there.

“He was a lot like you.”

Chapter 2!

If you enjoyed this work, see the rest of my writing here.

#world of warcraft #fanfiction #Lady Vashj #illidan stormrage #kael'thas sunstrider #tw familial death #tw alcohol #tw disordered eating #tw sex work #insomnia

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ironicallypresant · 4 years

Text

Superhero au part three: from how much thought I’ve put into this I really do want to write it but I know I will do the first chapter hate how crap my writing is then never do more 😂

Powers and abilities: (and hero/villain names).

-Lyanna Stark= Mystery Night, she can turn her skin to steel (one of my favourite Ned quotes is when he says “you saw her beauty but not the steel within) she probably met Rhaegar (and Elia) in civilian disguise and initially she didn’t know about the alter-ego’s of her new partners. (I could write a prequel one shot about this with lots of shenanigans and misunderstandings but let’s be real I probably won’t 😂) Ultimately Lyanna would discover who they are and end the relationship. Rhaegar would still not know that Lyanna is mystery knight, Elia would (because she hold the Targaryen family’s one brain cell). She wouldn’t realise she was pregnant until sometime later, not wanting the system to unfairly judge her son she gets her brothers to help her hide the truth.

-Ned Stark= Candor, he is basically a human lie detector. I thought this was fitting as he’s always known for his honesty and honour and like in asoiaf he’s ironically helping a huge lie go undiscovered. And I think that having Ned help it would help sell the lie the most as most people come to the wrong assumption that Ned can’t actually lie.

-Benjen Stark= Night Ranger, he can turn invisible. This is his power because he was invisible for so much of the series. He also knows about R+L=J.

-The Stark family ‘talent’ is an affinity for wolves, basically warging and all the starks can do this as well as their individual power. Cat and Ned’s kids also have the Tully ability of controlling water. -Robb Stark= Young Wolf, he can shape shift into a Wolf. While he is in the same year as Jon, he and theon are both on the older end while Jon is one of the youngest. This means they take the placement test much earlier than Jon, adding to Jon’s anxiety.

-Sansa Stark= Charmer, think Piper from the Percy Jackson series. I thought hard about Sansa’s ability because she’s a character that changes a lot in the series so it would be cool if the power she had fit with each stage of her. I landed on ‘charm speak’ as I think it’s something that would work with the vanity and naivety of her younger self and yet also forshadow her future as an expert manipulator. -Arya Stark= Multis, Arya’s power was the easiest to descide as I think the whole faceless man thing makes shapeshifter the obvious choice. Rather than having to steal faces maybe she has to touch a person to be able to shift into them that first time (once she has the ‘face’ she can then change without touching the person) and it could drain the person a bit like rogue from X-men. I kind of got lazy with the name and just went for multi in Latin 🤷🏻‍♀️.

-Bran Stark= Raven because I thought three eyed raven sounded too long. He is basically Professor X he even has the wheel chair.

-I couldn’t descide for Rickon so I’m copping out and saying he’s too young to have developed his powers.

-Catelyn Stark= Pieces, she was hard as I’m not really a fan of her, largely because of her treatment of Jon. Since she’s not really my favourite figuring out a power for her was tricky as I don’t know the little details that I know about other characters. I went with pieces as I thought that maybe she relies on her Tully power more than her individual one. It may just be me but I felt being a ‘Tully’ and what that meant was really important to Catelyn in cannon so I thought that in this au she shows this by using the power more and not necessarily carving out her own identity as she should. I think her individual power would be sort of like a human version of a Weasley clock, could be really cool but because it’s undeveloped she never learned to sense people outside of her family.

-Theon Greyjoy= Ironborn, Theon was fun to do because he caused me to think about the au more and develop it in my head. He has the inherited Greyjoy ability of being able to breathe underwater and use saltwater to heal (think Percy Jackson) and his inherited power would be the control of sea creatures (including birds). His power would definitely be looked down on by his family which would all have much more violent ability’s. I went with Ironborn as I think it’s something Theon would choose as an attempt to bond with his family (unsuccessfully) and the name wouldn’t really fit him. He may change his name later once he comes to terms with who he really is. I’d probably use Theon’s family as the most evident example of the system’s flaws. Despite being a ‘hero lineage’ the Greyjoy’s would be less wealthy than other powered families and looked down on by the hero community. In a complete coincidence (🙄) more Greyjoy’s are being assigned as villain each generation (even though some of them really don’t deserve to be)

-Jon Stark= Angel, coming up with a name was as hard as deciding his power and , ngl I’m still not sure if this is definitely THE name. I couldn’t decide whether Jon already had a name for himself previous to developing his third power. If he had it would be something fire related as he thought that was his individual power, but ultimately as I knew that name would change anyway I focused on finding a name that matched his real individual power. Thanks to the input of @manyangledone I decided that his power would be necromancy. It’s a power that on the surface is super dark and screams evil, but in reality could be used really well for good and I think that’s what Jon could do. (Think a mix of Nico Di’Angelo and Klaus Hargreaves). Pretty much as soon as necromancy was suggested I had the need to write a scene where Jon accidentally raises Sansa’s dog Lady, which died under suspicious circumstances, (causing lots of screaming mostly from Theon though he denies this) and reveals that she was actually killed by Joffrey. Problem was this burning need to write occurred at one in the morning and my eyes said no. I chose the name angel as while I know it’s hardly original I have got increasingly attached to the concept. I imagine Jon deciding on the name shortly after denouncing the system and deciding that he is/will be a hero. After all angels of death are still angels. Wouldn’t the image of Jon standing proud (though not necessarily very tall) against the powers that be with angel with made of FiRe be super cool!? (I may need to draw this...) Also adding in some angst, after Jon in blackmailed into transferring to Dragonstone he could go by the name fallen angel or Morningstar! Even more heartache if this is a name assigned to him (maybe by Rhaegar?) rather than something he chose himself, showing how people are trying to assign his identity to him rather than letting him choose for himself. Basically if I ever end up writing this Jon is gonna be one massive metaphor... (and somewhere my English teacher will be screaming into the void that there are other literature devices to use damn you!)

-Sorry for the long post.

#game of thrones #Jon snow #superhero au #fanfiction #part three

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rikirachtman · 7 years

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The fleeting mystique of Ghost

To say that Swedish heavy metal outfit Ghost is a polarizing band would be a massive understatement. The group exploded onto the scene in the early 2010′s and have kept a loyal following since, as well equally loyal detractors and critics. Some praise Ghost’s distinctive presence and mystique as well as their brand of melodic, 70′s-tinged metal hearkening back to the early days of the genre, while others malign their gimmicky nature and view their style as tired and hackneyed.

Ghost is, indeed, based heavily upon a gimmick. Whether this is good or bad is subjective, but the band rely on their unusual look, elaborate on-stage performances, and “in-universe lore” (similar to GWAR or Magma) a great deal. The secrecy regarding the members’ identities, the tradition of “replacing” Papa Emeritus each time they release a new album (really more of a wardrobe update), the commitment to remaining in character as often as possible, etc. all make for a band that does work off of being decidedly “gimmicky”.

Initially, I really enjoyed this gimmick. Ghost certainly stuck out and made it known that they were not your average metal band almost immediately. My first exposure to the band was the music video for 2013′s “Secular Haze”, which caught my attention right off the bat with its grainy 1970′s look and sound that makes it appear genuinely old and “classic” in a sense. Despite their intimidating appearance, the band’s music is surprisingly soft and calming, opting for more of a “hypnotic seance” atmosphere than the more brutal tones of most “Satanic” bands.

There was arguably a great deal of mystery surrounding this enigmatic crew at the time. Who were these guys? Why were they so secretive? Why have they cropped up seemingly overnight? As Ghost were RELATIVELY underground at the time, there were few answers to these questions, short of some vague rumours that Papa Emeritus was actually Tobias Forge of death metal band Repugnant. Their videos and live performances were entrancing and mesmerizing, and something felt genuinely unnerving about these mysterious hooded figures and their papal frontman. As time went on, Ghost became more and more popular. While some of the band’s followers were wary of this, watching a blatantly Satanic band with so much offensive imagery infiltrate the mainstream at light-speed was rather interesting, echoing the golden age of metal when it challenged the public that held so much disdain for it. Ghost’s meteoric rise to success was something seldom seen in a time where most metal bands take ages to get noticed.

Fast forward (somewhat) to 2017, and Ghost had drastically changed since the days of Opus Eponymous. They were now an extremely popular phenomenon with legions of fans, and the band’s music, which had been dangerously poppy to begin with, nosedived into Scooby-Doo-esque pop rock without the slightest hesitance. Forge (whose identity as Papa Emeritus was far from a secret now) had decided to capitalize on the band’s success by continuing down the path of making Ghost more accessible in the mainstream, and in doing so greatly altered their image. Papa Emeritus was no longer an old, mysterious phantom dressed in grand robes who floated about the stage like an eerie spectre, but was instead now a charismatic young showman with slick hair and a dapper suit. The Nameless Ghouls dropped their wraith-like cloaks in favour of fitted shirts and ornate masks. The overtly Satanic themes became less and less prevalent, though still remained enough to attract a casual Hot Topic-frequenting audience of faux-Satanic youth.

Forge’s all too corporate vision had become very, very apparent. Ghost was not a band, but a brand; Forge had been actively investing large sums of money into magazine advertising and retail marketing from the start, and treated the Ghouls as hired hands rather than band mates. This came to a head when, in early 2017, several former members of Ghost (whose identities were now also all public knowledge) sued Forge for withholding financial information and payments, and claimed that Forge was “underhandedly and shamelessly” transforming Ghost into a solo project with hired musicians. Forge had found his moneymaker in a glossy, inoffensive pop rock project with slightly unsavory imagery and lyrics, and chose to double down on this painfully insincere cash cow.

Ghost’s mystique was bound to fade eventually. It was inevitable, in this day and age, that Forge and company’s identities would become known and the band’s existence as a formless entity comprised of anonymous figures would come to an end. The hypnotic charm that they had once cast as newcomers to the metal scene has long since worn off, and the band now finds itself left with nowhere else to turn as the metaphorical Satanic toothpaste can never again be put back into the metaphorical Satanic tube. What does this mean for Ghost? Well, more than likely, it means Forge will simply continue on as is, hiring session musicians and steering the band deeper and deeper into disingenuous corporate nonsense until we’re left with plush Papa Emeritus toys lining store aisles alongside KISS-brand toilet paper. A once intriguing premise has since lost its lustre, and while it seems unlikely considering the money it’s making him, I can only hope that Tobias Forge one day puts Ghost to rest before they’ve reached peak Gene Simmons.

(Note: Admittedly I am not EXTREMELY well-versed in some of the more minute details of Ghost’s history, so if you spot any mistakes within this write-up, please let me know and I’ll correct any relevant information.)

#ghost #ghost bc #ghost b.c.#tobias forge #papa emeritus

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all-these-yearss · 7 years

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Harry Potter

[Summary]

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone begins with Harry Potter as an orphaned boy brought up by his unkind Muggle (non-magical) aunt and uncle. At the age of eleven, half-giant Hagrid informs him that he is actually a wizard and he received the lightning-shaped scar on his forehead after an attack by the evil and powerful wizard Voldemort known as "You-Know-Who" who even killed Harry's Parents. Voldemort also attempted to kill one-year-old Harry on the same night, but his killing curse mysteriously rebounded and reduced him to a weak and helpless form. Harry became extremely famous in the Wizarding World as a result. Harry begins his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and learns about magic. During the year, Harry and his friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger become entangled in the mystery of the Philosopher's Stone which is being kept within the school.

The series continues with Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, a sequel to Harry, Ron, and Hermione return to Hogwarts for their second year, which proves to be more challenging than the last. The Chamber of Secrets has been opened, leaving students and ghosts petrified by an unleashed monster. Harry comes to know more about his world, his ability to speak the language of the snakes - Parseltongue (a rare dark art) and also learns few secrets about Lord Voldemort. He also discovers the properties of a mysterious diary. The book ends with Harry fighting the monster saving Ginny and unknowingly destroys a piece of a soul (horcrux) hidden by Lord Voldemort in the dairy (book).

Following the series is the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban elaborating Harry Potter's third year sees the boy wizard, along with his friends, attending Hogwarts School once again. Professor Remus Lupin joins the staff as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, while convicted murderer Sirius Black escapes from Azkaban Prison. The Ministry of Magic entrusts the Dementors of Azkaban to guard Hogwarts from Black. Harry learns more about his past and his connection with the escaped prisoner.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire starts with Harry's fourth year at his magical school. Hogwarts plays host to a legendary event: the Triwizard Tournament. Three European schools participate in the tournament, with three 'champions' representing each school in the deadly tasks. The Goblet of Fire chooses Fleur Delacour, Viktor Krum, and Cedric Diggory to compete against each other. However, Harry was misguided by Professor Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody (Voldemort's supporter) who made Harry participate in a dangerous Triwizard Tournament to bring Harry to Voldemort succeeds. But, Harry escapes his plans making Voldemort to reenter as mortal in the wizarding world. The fifth film marking the fifth year "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", Harry's fifth year begins with him being attacked by Dementors in Little Whinging. Harry encounters a secret society called the Order of the Phoenix which was reactivated due to the arrival of Voldemort to protect Harry and to defeat Voldemort's supporters. Harry is also beset by disturbing and realistic nightmares, while Professor Dolores Umbridge, the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts where she banned the students to learn the Defense Art Against Dark Magic. So, Harry formed a secret study group known as "Dumbledore's army" in order to teach his classmates the higher skills of defense against the dark arts he has learned. He became aware that Voldemort is after a prophecy which reveals: "neither can live while the other survives". The rebellion involving the students of Hogwarts, secret organization Order of the Phoenix, the Ministry of Magic, and the Death Eaters begins. The sixth year at school deals with Voldemort open war and Harry's adolescence. Harry begins dating Ginny Weasley. He also stumbles upon an old potions textbook filled with annotations and recommendations signed by a mysterious writer, the Half-Blood Prince marking another film "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". He also learns from Albus Dumbledore that Voldemort's soul is splintered into a series of horcruxes, the evil enchanted items hidden in various locations. Harry's adversary Draco Malfoy attempts to attack Dumbledore at various times and finally Professor Snape kills Dumbledore towards the end of the book. The final film, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is divided into two parts. After unexpected events at the end of the previous year, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are entrusted with a quest to find and destroy Lord Voldemort's secret to immortality – the Horcruxes. It is supposed to be their final year at Hogwarts, but the collapse of the Ministry of Magic and Voldemort's rise to power prevents them from attending. The trio undergo a long journey with many obstacles in their path including Death Eaters, Snatchers, the mysterious Deathly Hallows, and Harry's connection with the Dark Lord's mind becoming ever stronger.After destroying one Horcrux and discovering the significance of the three Deathly Hallows, Harry, Ron and Hermione continue to seek the other Horcruxes in an attempt to destroy Voldemort, who has now obtained the powerful Elder Wand. The Dark Lord discovers Harry's hunt for Horcruxes and launches an attack on Hogwarts School, where the trio return for one last stand against the dark forces that threaten the Wizarding and Muggle worlds.

- The End

Imagine a school in a castle filled with moving staircases, a sport played on flying broomsticks, a talking hat and frames, an evil wizard intent on domination, an ordinary boy who’s the hero of a whole world he doesn’t know. This is the story that comes to life in the marvelous Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling.

Each of the seven books in the series chronicles one year in Harry’s adventures at Hogwarts and his battle against Lord Voldemort. Harry makes two marvelous best friends named Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. He studies topics like Transfiguration and Potions under wise headmaster Albus Dumbledore and the malevolent Severus Snape. He becomes expert at a game called Quidditch; encounters incredible creatures like phoenixes and dragons; and discovers an entire Wizarding universe hidden just out of sight, as prone to the darker aspects of human experience as our own, but brightened by a quirky original magic.

And slowly, Harry unravels the mysteries of his original confrontation with Voldemort: why the Dark Lord tried to kill him, how he lived and what he must do to survive another encounter.

What life lessons can be learned? When you step into the world of Harry Potter, your imagination takes over and you find yourself as a student in Hogwarts, the magical we all wanted to go to when we were young. In this series, you can learn a lot of great things. Number one is - don’t live in the past, live in the present, as the past is unchangeable, but the future is yet to be made. Second is - do not let your fears get the best of you. Conquer them to succeed in life! Third is - money is not everything so do not make it a focus of your life. You need to be happy and content with what you have. Another is - you are never alone, unless you want to be. Even though Harry Potter did not have parents, he had his two best friends, Ron and Hermione, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Sirius, and in a surprising way, Snape. Lastly is - you have to learn to confront your battles alone. It is time you stop looking towards others for help and learn to fight your own battles, just like Harry and Neville.

I remember the part when Ron destroyed the Horcrux locket. Ron's fears are given voice by Tom Riddle in the Horcrux locket that Ron has to destroy once he returns to the quest: "I have seen your dreams, Ronald Weasley, and I have seen your fears. […] Least loved, always, by the mother who craved a daughter… Least loved now, by the girl who prefers your friend… Second best, always, eternally overshadowed." Though the Horcrux locket brings out the absolute worst in Ron (it plays a big part in him abandoning Harry and Hermione), destroying it also gives him a chance to work through some of the issues he's been fostering. Ron's put-outer is the perfect metaphor for his, Harry, and Hermione's friendship. There are times when things are tough, and it looks as if the friendship won't last. But these three will come back for one another. Always. And that's the mark of true friendship. That’s the most powerful and enduring part in Harry Potter.

My favorite characters here are the Golden Trio; Harry, Hermione, and Ron. They’re the perfect description of friendship. They’re like a family; sharing whatever they have, relying on one another’s strengths, covering each other when they’re in trouble, supporting each another’s interests, honest, still loving each other even when they’re fighting, they don’t underestimate one another’s talents, going on adventures together, and especially, they always come back even when there are times when things are tough.

And if I were given a chance to ask a character in this movie series, I would ask Hermione, “Why the heck did you chose Ron over Harry?” Because I ship Harry and Hermione in this movie.

#harrypotter #favoritemovie #moviereview

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endeavorsreward · 7 years

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Whose Story Is This?: A Defense of Final Fantasy XII

[Note: Cross-Posted at my mostly-crit blog Arbitrary Numbers sometime within twenty-four hours-ish, probably easier to find a permalink there.]

I'd originally intended to write something like this closer to the release of Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age, but I actually had someone reply to this tumblr with a request for it (thanks, @beeperdoop-hiatus ) so I’m going to do this now and reblog it later.

It can be really tiring hearing people repeat the same tired criticisms of FFXII’s story. As a particular fan of that game, I wanted to clarify some details on that score. Let’s get into it.

--Caveat

This article is not intended to be a comprehensive look at the game’s flaws, nor is it meant to suggest the game is above reproach. FFXII is extremely flawed. I think most fans of the game are willing to admit as much, though their reasons may differ. How the game handles race is “problematic” at best and the pacing is very chunky, particularly following Mt. Bur-Omisace, which is almost certainly when Matsuno was officially no longer in the driver’s seat. Some characters (such as Penelo) are significantly underserved and only half the cast truly have arcs. I’d argue the game still says and does more in terms of storytelling than any of the other numbered entries in the franchise, and if your argument is that this speaks less of XII and more of the flaws the others have, that is your prerogative. I’m still inordinately fond of it, however.

This is also not an article about gameplay, as it is solely focused on the game’s overlying narrative and its character journeys. Finally, this article has spoilers for all of FFXII. This game is ten, eleven years old now, but the HD re-release is only months away, so I’m putting the courtesy notice here.

--Facts

The following are indisputable facts:

1.) At some point in development, Yasumi Matsuno stepped down from his lead position on this game. Ivalice’s creator, his focus is frequently relating his games to real world politics (Tactics Ogre, for instance, was inspired by viewing scenes of genocide in Yugoslavia). How much was “left” and how much was “forced” is a matter of some debate.

2.) Over the years, the extent to which Ivalice games, and the satellite games in their orbit such as Vagrant Story, are literally connected has been diminished and then reinstated, both by Matsuno himself and by other representatives at Square-Enix.

3.) At some point in development, Basch was to be the playable character. It is also believed that at some point in development, the same was said of Balthier, who appears to have been “finished” first. What is not ever discussed is how long these ideas were on the table. A year? A week? Thirty minutes? A few throwaway lines in an interview or Ultimania do not clarify this issue.

4.) At some point in development, Vaan and Penelo were added to provide a more traditional youth-oriented viewpoint character. It’s believed that this was because there was concern that a bunch of adults in a thorny political situation would not become a big draw for the usual FF crowd. What is not discussed is when this decision was made - Vaan’s actions drive the plot for roughly one-third of the actual story (roughly until Ashe becomes a permanent member) and Penelo was in the game long enough to have scenes deleted before the game shipped, as evidenced by scenes of her dancing in the early trailers. It’s also rarely pointed-out that young characters in FF are neither a guarantee, nor a sign of how that character will be perceived: Canonically, Cecil of FFIV is 20 (37 in the sequel!), and Cloud of FFVII is 21, but these ages are not necessarily how they’re perceived in the wider fandom of those games, generally speaking. Even in XII itself, Ashe and Vaan are only separated by two years (19 and 17 respectively) but players generally view Ashe as an adult and Vaan as a youth, based solely on demeanor.

--TL;DR

The game’s protagonist is Ashe

The game’s viewpoint character is Vaan

The parallel to Ramza Beoulve is Larsa

The parallel to Delita Heiral is Vayne

The thesis statement is Basch (& Gabranth)

The biggest connection to other Ivalice games is shared by Fran and Al-Cid

The narrator is Penelo

The Leading Man is Balthier

The character we begin with is Reks

The characters who actually move the plot are Cid, Reddas, and Ondore

The most important character is Migelo

If you’d consider this breakdown simplistic, that’s fine - that’s sort of the point.

--What is FFXII about?

Because of the shifts in game development, FFXII is actually about a few things. It’s not clear how many of them were Matsuno’s doing, past the first one. However, despite the unevenness of how these ideas are distributed and layered, they do tend to intersect in ways that make the story work. XII is about, in some respect:

Life under Imperialism, and ways to resist, the perils and necessities of radicalism

What we do (or do not) owe to those who have fallen / the cycle of revenge

Self-loathing, specifically regarding the choices we make when we are young - usually choices we feel are not choices at the time

How did the world of Final Fantasy Tactics happen?

Grappling with the influence of Star Wars on the Final Fantasy franchise

A traditional “JRPG” theme regarding the value of free will in a world of gods

Some of these concepts are more high-falutin’ than others. Some of them are very genre or medium specific. What’s important is that essentially, all themes converge in the moment when Ashe chooses to destroy the Sun-Cryst at the Pharos Lighthouse.

--”Migelo’s not the most important character!”

Says you.

We spend a lot of time with Migelo at the beginning of FFXII, as Vaan is taking us through tutorial stuff and we’re getting a handle on Rabanastre and the layout of Dalmasca. Once the journey begins, however, we don’t see a lot of him. What is Migelo’s role in the story? Other RPG protagonists or viewpoint characters have had parents or parental figures that are left behind, but that is their only job - to be the guardian you leave behind to prove that you’re meant to grow up. But Migelo has scenes with Vayne, the primary antagonist - the final boss - that Vaan does not interrupt. When speaking to NPC’s in town, many are talking about Migelo, more than talk about Vaan himself. Why?

Migelo’s role is also, essentially, a tutorial. As you’re learning how combat, rare game hunts, and the bazaar shop work, Migelo is teaching you how to interpret the story. His role is to introduce the theme and tone, because it’s not like other FF games. I’m not sure if “subtle” is necessarily the right word, but many elements of the game rely upon you understanding the implications of the world that you are in, rather than have the characters constantly reiterating those details to you (this begins to break down towards the end, evidence that Matsuno’s hand had left the wheel a bit).

Everyone in town has an opinion specifically of how exactly Migelo acts with the Archadean Empire. Vaan and Penelo have a two-line exchange to draw attention to this, but many NPCs change dialogue after seeing Migelo kowtow to Vayne (as he’d previously done with the guards to save Vaan at the gate earlier). There is a conflict in Rabanastre between resistance and survival. Migelo places his pride below the safety of the orphans that he looks after. The game does not offer definitive judgement on his actions, but asks that you consider that the question exists. It’s suggested he might “lose” the occasional crate and that it finds its way to Vossler & co., but unlike Vaan, who is consumed with directionless anger after the death of his brother - who uses that anger to place himself and others in danger - Migelo is willing to suffer scorn for the sake of his family in the shadow of the occupying force.

I think it’s pretty pointed that Migelo is wearing, essentially, a yarmulke in his role of shopkeeper who’ll suffer scorn for survival under oppression.

The imperialist nightmare that accounts for Dalmasca’s daily life is reinforced with the only other real town you can visit before the game gets going - Nalbina Fortress, where civilians rebuild their own town so that they can be paid by the people who destroyed it in the first place, even as that town is used as a prisoner for political dissidents. It’s a very potent metaphor for imperialism as a whole. Are these civilians wrong for doing so? The game does not decide. People must feed their families, and the insurgence - pardon, resistance - still exists.

These sequences set the tone for the varied decisions the characters must make or have already made, as the narrative focuses on age seventeen as a person’s fulcrum point.

--I was seventeen, it was a very bad year

The cast of Final Fantasy XII, especially the men, each make important decisions at seventeen:

Basch chooses to leave his homeland of Landis, and Noah chooses to stay behind. Landis is conquered; Noah resents his brother for years. Basch holds firm to his choice, as one would expect of the resolute knight/samurai character, but in rare moments his mask slips and his doubt is laid bare.

Ffamran flees home and his role as a low-ranking judge of the Empire, taking a new name for himself as the pirate Balthier. He claims to have chosen freedom, but his every moment in the game is consumed with thoughts of the father he believed lost to madness. We cannot know for sure, but it is likely that Fran was seventeen, or perhaps the Viera equivalent, when she also chose to leave the Wood.

Reks chooses to fight for his homeland, and specifically for his brother Vaan. He dies after torture and perceived betrayal, broken.

Vayne murders his older brothers at his father’s orders, securing his position as heir to the throne while also losing the confidence of the Imperial Senate. He believes himself damned for his position and is subsequently willing to perform monstrous acts so that his younger brother Larsa can rule free of influence and pain (upon getting magicite infusion and letting the Occurian “heretic” Venat take a ride, this veneer of motivation is stripped away and nothing is left but the monster - it’s not clear how much of this act is motivated by his losing his only friend but he was long past redemption in any case).

As the game opens, the two heroes - Ashe, our protagonist, and Vaan, our viewpoint character, are set to face their journeys. Ashe had her decision taken from her at seventeen - her father and husband were killed and she was spirited away, and so she did not have the agency to make a choice. Vaan is now seventeen and a knot of directionless resentment and anger who has not made a choice.

In the Garif village, Ashe and Vaan have a heart-to-heart in which Vaan explains that he understands his motivations were misguided, but he does not know his place. He tells Ashe that he’ll find his direction with her - through her - and thus when Ashe’s decision comes, it is explicitly designed to determine Vaan’s fate specifically - if he will make a choice that will torture his days the way many others struggle to live with theirs.

--We made a feminist Star Wars by accident

Square-Enix is not... amazing with women. They’ve had many female characters whom women enjoy quite a bit, and I’ve no intention of challenging anyone’s beloved characters. All I mean to say is that when I say “feminist Star Wars by accident,” my tongue is firmly in cheek here, fully self-aware, but that is certainly a way to read what happened.

Final Fantasy has been wrestling with the influence of Star Wars for their whole lifespan. There’s always a Biggs and Wedge, lots of sequences have liberally borrowed... FFIX quotes The Phantom Menace at the end in this bit that really hasn’t aged that well despite largely being a pretty great game. Nobody can be sure at exactly what point it was that they decided to just “do Star Wars” in FFXII - if it was a way to take what they had and make a comprehensible plot in the wake of Matsuno leaving or being asked to leave, if it was Matsuno himself using the skeleton of Star Wars so that his Ivalice story would feel more traditional to other FF fans, if it was a course-correction to Vaan’s late-addition. We can’t know, and it doesn’t especially matter. What does matter is that in doing so, they made a version that’s... better? By certain metrics. Certainly it’s about Star Wars the way that the original film is about the serials Lucas grew up with, but in having Ashe as a protagonist, the journey of the two main characters actually follows a more sensible progression.

Putting aside portrayals for a moment, in a vacuum it would make sense if Princess Leia were the one tempted by the Dark Side, right? She lost so much more than Luke did, her grief and her anger would be so much greater. At any rate, the story of FFXII is essentially a story where we watch Leia through Luke’s eyes, as she is briefly tempted and then refuses that power, which would enable her revenge.

Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca seems to be a difficult character for much of the game’s audience... well, at least much of the game’s male audience? - to wrap their minds around. She’s wearing some ridiculous FF sex appeal clothing, and all of the game’s advertising pivots her as being very coy or demure or traditionally feminine, but in the game she’s kind of a bitch - and I say that as a compliment. Square-Enix can use that key art of her touching her nose all they want, but this is an angry woman who suffered and wants to inflict that suffering, for much of the game. The “problem” is that Ashe is not masculine, not a “man with breasts” female character, but her journey is usually one given to men. She has a love interest die in order to motivate her, and she has to learn to give up her revenge before she does something monstrous - for part of the game she actually considers genocide, until being confronted with the means to achieve it.

If many characters in XII parallel those in FFT in different forms, Ashe is the parallel for Wiegraf Folles - the hero who fell, and the heroine who almost does, both of them the holder of Belias the Gigas first and foremost.

The plot of XII echoes Star Wars more or less beat for beat as we follow desert rat Vaan and his rogue allies and wiser companion until they rescue the princess... at which point the plot still echoes the film, except the princess is clearly the protagonist and upon being rightfully restored, the focus remains upon her.

“Gamers” who bring up “who could have been the main character” are all alike in a very specific way. They all claim that Vaan is bad, and that Basch or Balthier should have been the main character based on some notes about the game’s development. But they all steadfastly refuse to acknowledge that the game’s protagonist is currently Ashe.

It is Ashe who wants to leave Bhujerba and go after Raithwall’s treasure. It is Ashe who wants to speak to the Garif to learn how to unlock the magicite’s power. It is Ashe who agrees to accompany Larsa to Mt. Bur-Omisace, who wants to go to Archades as badly as Balthier, who follows Cid into Giruvegan, who decides to climb the Pharos, who declares she will enter Bahamut and stop Vayne.

And every step of the way, Ashe is advised by men, not left alone by men, her decisions are judged by men. And in fairness to the characters, some of that is deserved. Ashe cannot bear to shatter the stone with the sword, she talks about accruing power. She is the rightful Dynast-Queen and the stone only responds to her, but she speaks in terms far beyond freeing her realm from occupation. But Ondore treats her as a figurehead and does not want her to act with her own agency, Balthier and Fran snipe at her constantly and Balthier especially cannot view her decisions through any lens but his issues with his own father. Al-Cid flirts, Vossler infantalizes, Larsa tries to hold the moral high ground, and Vaan keeps interrupting her.

“I am no false saint for you to use!”

Again and again...

“I am simply myself. No more and no less. And I want only to be free.”

...Ashe tries to reclaim her agency. Her Quickening quotes are ”I must endure” and “I must be strong” and “I must believe.”

The “insurgence” vs. “resistance” joke is a pretty loaded one, because on the one hand, it’s about politics, about how imperialism views resistance, how the narrative can be changed, but on the other it’s about attempts to strip Ashe’s identity away and give her a different one.

Ashe does not get the choice at seventeen, and so at nineteen she stands at the top of the Pharos at Ridorana and Gabranth takes the Darth Vader role, the Emperor role as well: accept the power offered, let revenge damn you. And what she sees is Vaan pick up the sword, and look to her.

The defining moment of Final Fantasy XII is but a spare few seconds as these two young people share a single look. Vaan is at the point of his seventeen-year-old decision here, and Ashe at last has the agency to make a choice. Vaan is many things in this moment - a sort of younger brother figure, in the Luke Skywalker role. Literally one of her subjects, and thus a symbol for her as queen, for how she will consider the welfare of her citizens over everything else as a ruler. As a younger version of all of these men who have pushed her, even as a younger version of herself, less far-gone in being lost to hate.

And because she’s the hero of the story, she discards the stone. And inspires Vaan as well to cast his desire for revenge aside. She inspires him so fully that at the game’s end Vaan uses Gabranth’s blade to land the final blow to help enable Gabranth’s dying redemption.

The focal moment of the story, and it does not work without Vaan there - Vaan is necessary to make the story work.

--Vaan and the male “Gamer”

If you want to know why a certain sort of game-player is so insistent upon reminding you at every moment that Vaan was not always intended to be in FFXII, I think you need look no further than the above image, which is official artwork.

There’s nothing about the above image to appeal to a straight male “gamer.” I’m a straight cis male myself, so I’ll not make assumptions as to whether anyone else likes the look.

Vaan’s abs have been a meme for a decade because of the bizarre choice in how they chose to render them in game, it’s true. In that respect, he’s always looked weird. The rest of his character design is pretty obvious, however. He’s a desert street rat, Vaan Ratsbane, and so he’s meant to explicitly reference Aladdin. The shirtless vest, the band around his waist. But this is a major promotional image, and it’s relying upon a sex appeal you don’t normally see in male video game characters.

Vaan is a viewpoint character, but he is not the protagonist. Vaan is who you control as you run errands. Ashe talks to gods. Balthier looks cool standing at the rim of a prison arena and saying fantasy-racist slurs to provoke some bullies. Basch gets to have noble speeches. Vaan provides comic relief and his most-known moment is when he claims to be someone else to attract attention.

A certain contingent of those who play games do so in order to be supplied with a power fantasy, a wish fulfillment. One would think having Vaan get the best stats and stand up to Gilgamesh and Zodiark and Ultima and Vayne would be enough, but the game does not treat Vaan as wish fulfillment in that way. And they can tell.

Cloud Strife, in the original Final Fantasy VII, is actually a scared and lonely boy who has constructed a personality around himself that appears cool, detached, and badass. Ostensibly the game is about peeling that shell back to see the the boy beneath. But the game’s style, the length of time spent on the “badass” part, and the way the spin-off media treats the character have all worked to leave the traditional gamer affirmed. They’re riding the motorcycle, they’re fighting in the Gold Saucer arena, they’re battling Sephiroth. Final Fantasy XII does not do this.

The character above is not wish-fulfillment for men in part by looks - he is not muscled, he is not “cool” the way Balthier is, and his biggest cutscene action is screaming as he stabs the enemy with someone else’s sword. He’s not wish-fulfillment in the game itself because despite his good stats, every character can play every role competently (even if in the job system, certain characters using certain jobs will be very sub-optimal), and in general viewpoint characters are rarely wish-fulfillment because every other character knows more about what’s going on than they do. Ivalice is a complicated world, and somebody needs to have it explained to them or the player will not be able to follow along, but many players hate getting explanations.

It’s not his youth, either, I hasten to point out: Ramza was young. Denam was young. Nobody has ever taken issue with them in the way they have Vaan. It’s specific issues with Vaan that they have.

He’s more “feminine,” despite being perfectly capable at all times. It’s the lady in the pink miniskirt who does all the cool hero stuff. That’s what people hate. That’s why they always namecheck Basch or Balthier. Despite the game’s plot hinging on Ashe, the character they want to be is a more traditional male hero.

A viewpoint character is especially important in FFXII, however, when you consider that the game is not necessarily played in a vacuum.

--XII as prequel

It’s hard to tell exactly what shape XII would have taken before the outside influences. It’s easy to believe that with Matsuno leading the whole way, it would be a better and more complete work, but we can’t ever really know. It’s interesting to view XII through a lens where its relation to the other Ivalice games matter, however, because many decisions have rather more import when that knowledge exists. The game plays differently when you’re playing it as a prequel, versus a game of its own.

The Final Fantasy Tactics continent of Loar exists in XII-era Rozarria, somewhere far-off to the west. And Rozarria is (if you’ll pardon the term) the “Phantom Menace” of FFXII, always lurking in the shadows, always looming over events. Many, many of the decisions that many characters make in the game are motivated by the knowledge that any provocation could bring Rozarria into the fray more actively, and in so doing cause a war that would wipe out Dalmasca completely. After all, as Migelo would tell you, occupation is monstrous, but it’s better than death. And so Rozarria becomes, in a sense, the spectre of Final Fantasy Tactics itself, always just out of frame, never forgotten. It is Rozarria in the final act which enacts the false flag operation which leads to the climax - an explicitly Dycedarg maneuver!

Al-Cid invites Ashe to visit the Ambervale of Clan Margrace when the hostilities have ceased. The “Ambervale,” of course, was the site of the final battle in Final Fantasy Advance, the game where we first meet Montblanc at a younger age. The other games aren’t forgotten.

Final Fantasy XII occurs pre-Cataclysm, and establishes that there have been many such world-ending events in the past. Out of control nanotechnology, Esper wars, all sorts of events (almost assuredly the inspiration for how FFXIV treats its Calamities). This is a deliberate tie to FFXII’s use of the cycle of revenge and hostility, but it also prompts the informed player to watch the game’s events as a sort of ramp-up to the Cataclysm. We don’t run into Ajora or Germonique here, we don’t see the Cataclysm occur, but the game is asking the player to understand the way these political battles become events that cannot be walked back, how small events can have ramifications, how sickly ironic viewpoints can be in retrospect.

The Viera maintain their isolationism even after being confronted with matters of global scale. In ninety years’ time, the Viera will cease to exist, making this sequence a tragedy in a way it does not for a player who does not know the other games.

Bergan (& Venat) kill the Light of Kiltias and end the Kiltian religion. As a consequence, Pharism will spread and Ajora will rise up to create the events of FFT.

Larsa, the youngest brother, echoes Ramza in demeanor, in signature weapon, in naivety about his elder brother, only to stand a hero in the name of peace.

Vayne may have motivations that stem from love and justice, but his actions are monstrous. Here’s a key: next go-round, note the way the word “Necessity” recurs through his story, and compare it to how Delita’s story uses the word “Endeavor.”

We learn Ultima’s origin, we see why Zodiark is different, we form a connection with Belias.

The Mist is introduced as a central element (inspired by FFIX, which was in turn inspired in places by Tactics), while knowing the Mist will no longer exist post-Cataclysm, which suggests all sorts of things about why the magick system is different and the world is so changed.

These things are not necessary to the understanding of the game’s story - some references to the past are even the sole provenance of the localizers (calling the naturalist “Merlose” in the Clan Primer is just Alex O. Smith having fun, for instance) - but the weight of history - and of the future - very much solidifies ideas that the game is already talking about.

--And so

The expression “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts” could have been invented for Final Fantasy XII, because it’s quite obvious that many parts were created with different goals in mind. There is noticeable friction between those parts in many places (isn’t it weird that they get captured and then escape from the same ship twice in just a few hours of gametime? Or, I get that him being Boba Fett makes this part of the joke, but Ba’Gamnan is really sort of a dead end, huh?) but the whole of XII works, and if that’s in spite of itself, that doesn’t matter, only that it does.

And there are many valid criticisms to level at the game, but the predominance of certain criticisms, the laser-focus of a certain type of “gamer,” suggests that those issues have less to do with the game itself than with certain other reasons.

I look forward to playing The Zodiac Age in a few months, as I’ve never gotten to play the IZJS edition of the game. That is very much the draw for me, rather than the visual improvements - I find myself quite nervous about how those are going to go, actually, and not every single change to IZJS was wholly positive, even if many of them are - and it’s always nice to have an excuse to revisit one of my favorite titles. Gameplay-wise, XII was somewhat ahead of its time. It took titles like Xenoblade to catch up to what XII was doing with its west-meets-east, MMO-inspired flavor, and I’m rather fond of it despite its issues.

But mostly, I’m hoping it’s a chance for many to go back and reexamine a game that was and is very unfairly maligned, and especially so for the wrong reasons.

#Musings #Ashe #Vaan #Migelo #Balthier #Fran #Larsa #Penelo #Basch #Vayne #Gabranth #Cloud #FFXII

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