#which most of the time he knows and understands the strain his actions will put on his relationships but. does it anyways

[a4g]

im oing to infodump about spoke ok

#his lifesteal character is SO COOLomg i love how he does things i can never figure out quite what he is thinking or what he is gonna do #next or what for #the way he does things is like. chaotic but. for a reason. #says he likes to be evil but no he really isnt . many times he tries but backs out if he feels its not for the greater good #like he can never go through with it #he exists in a limbo of good neutral and evil. but ulimately falls on neutral with a hesitant lean towards good #most definitely chaotic in his way of thinking #which most of the time he knows and understands the strain his actions will put on his relationships but. does it anyways #he knows exactly where and who and what he is and what his consequences will be for it #only consistent ally being parrot. i mean if ur allied with spoke but not parrot... thats not gonna last long LMAO #spoke sticks around anyone like a nat. if his motives are innocent or for his own plan. you cant tell unless its already laid out in front #of you #parrot describes him like a fox. cunning and deceitful. a quick escape artist #despite this. like i said before. can not be used for his own gain #if he takes its because he decided it was little enough or was the greater good #a confused cross between a villain and a hero #on everyones side. and none at all #jack of all trades. master of none #. #spoke tag #postin #lifesteal

[dxstopiaa]

Close Confinement

Synopsis: Party games were a great way to pass the time, but seven whole minutes with the scribe himself? [Request]

Characters: Al Haitham x Fem! Reader.

Warnings: NSFW content, interact at your own risk. [Includes: Soft sex, Virginity loss, semi-public sex, praise, pet names] [it took me a while to write this, but i hope you like it! <3]

Boring, tiresome and irrelevant.

The trinity of words which circulated the young post-graduate’s mind, all to describe the topic of socialising and parties. If it was up to his own decision, Al Haitham would’ve rejected the offer in less than a second. However, it was not.

Duties and desideratum of the Akademiya’s students, he was told. According to many of the matra, there was a high demand of past students requesting a sort of reunion— a celebration, as illustrated on the infamous community message board.

In short, the Acting Grand Sage had no choice but to cater to their desires, hence the situation he found himself in. Snapping back from his thoughts, he glanced back at the venue he had organised, half proudly, half nonchalantly. Not too bad for the first try.

Of course, with the help of his rather irritating roommate, who wasn’t as insufferable when he had something to occupy himself with. Kaveh stood expectantly beside the Scribe, tapping his pen on his pale lips, surveying the checklist he had prepared. The quiet hum which left him already told he was satisfied enough.

One topic that Al Haitham didn’t see on aforementioned list was guest entertainment, something that he ignored in hopes of not having to deal with it. Spoiler from his future self— that approach did not go to plan.

Instead, the Acting Grand Sage found himself musing over you, who currently sat opposite from him. That sweet, soft-hearted girl who always greeted him so kindly, always keen to listen to his theses and reports with such attention. Even now, you just looked too cute for the most stoic of men to ignore. The Scribe would gladly play any silly game to amuse you.

“Al Haitham, just spin the bottle already!” Cyno groaned, wanting nothing more than to get this stress-inducing situation over with. A series of agreements from the other two graduates followed. You merely stared at him with anticipation.

He’s changed a lot, you thought. Appearance wise, his silver tresses were more the shade of oxidised metal, not to mention his muscular physique, just how much has he undergone in recent years? Still as nerdy as ever though, another book resting on his lap.

The ashen-haired scholar scoffed—smoothing his fingers over the virescent glass, pushing it into a spinning motion. Friction worked its magic, slowing down till the neck of the bottle faced directly towards you.

The group immediately began snickering, observing your cheeks redden, putting the ripest of berries to shame. You looked up again, witnessing the smug expression of success on their faces. The tension between you both was overpowering, about time they did something about it.

“That settles it then! Go on..” Kaveh coerced, pushing the both of you into a poorly-furnished conference room to the left of the lounge and locking the door from the outside.

Cliché. Was this a punishment or rather a reward from the gods?

Al Haitham didn’t know what to do with himself. This wasn’t like him at all to be thinking in such ways but— Archons, your dress barely covered your thighs from him.

You were biting the insides of your cheek, averting your eyes to anywhere but him, despite only being a few inches away. You’d understand his actions soon enough, hopefully.

He cupped your face with his palm, brushing away stray strands of hair that obstructed the view of your precious eyes. Your breath hitched, leaning into his gentle touch. He pulled you in closer, intending to wordlessly claim you as his own.

“May I?” Al Haitham pleaded, his piercing, turquoise irises tainted with affection. His voice was quiet— almost strained, like he was afraid of rejection, something you’d never do to him.

You hastily nodded your head, wrapping your arms around his neck. He kissed you delicately, a faint taste of sweet wine still left on his lips. The Scribe trapped your body against the wall, pulling away just to kiss you again at the sight of your smudged lipstick. His mouth trailed down to your neck as his hands did to your waist.

His touch was hypnotic— your mind was hazy and overcast with him, countless dreams of this years ago now enacted in-front of you. His hands travelled further, grasping onto the underside of your thighs and wrapping your legs around him to stand comfortably imbetween them.

Al Haitham was curious as to how you’d react. Would you be quiet and anxious, rarely moaning and instead gasping? Or would you be vocal, crying his name out at any given moment? He traced a slender finger over the front of your panties, observing you squirm into his touch.

“Haitham…” You muttered, a flutter of butterflies swarming deep within, each flickering motion of a wing seeming to spur a different emotion. Desperation, apprehension and lust.

“Yes, darling?” He continued to skim over your clit underneath the fabric, clouding your thought process over. You reached to cover your mouth, whimpering into your own hand.

“I haven’t done this before—” You whined upon feeling his clothed erection press up against you, needily rolling your hips against him. Your face flushed from the confession and the sinful noise you let out.

“I’ll be gentle, angel.” The Scribe comforted, which felt strange for him to utter such words. Anyone who knew the scholar would be aware of his abrasive, arrogant nature— but his heart followed no limits when it came to you.

And gentle he was, softly pleasuring you with skilled fingers, coaxing angelic sounds from your pretty, hesitant lips. Al Haitham wanted nothing more than to see them swollen and wet from kisses. A few seconds later you were essentially begging for his cock, palming his crotch with your inexperienced hand.

Your pleads were just adorable, who was he to deny you of what you wanted? With his fingers wet with your slick, he slid them over his flushed tip. It was quite the confidence boost for you to exclusively see the Acting Grand Sage deteriorated to this mindless state.

He prodded at your pussy, barely even managing to hilt himself with you clenching so tightly, hearing your timid sobs from the stretch, tears forming in your eyes.

“I know, darling, try to relax for me…” Al Haitham amorously whispered, planting short-lived pecks on your forehead whilst he massaged your thighs softly, giving you a few moments to adjust before beginning to move.

The feeling of his girth dragging against your insides was a simultaneous sensation of pain and pleasure. You struggled to restrain yourself, opting to bury your face against the scholar’s chest. With each prolonged thrust, your brain struggled to comprehend anything else.

“You’re doing so well, angel.” Al Haitham could feel you squeezing around his cock at his words, murmuring how it was all too much for you, phrases adjourned by blissful moans. You were close, those erotic grunts from his ajar mouth did nothing but worsen the tingling in your lower abdomen.

A final firm thrust and you finished around his cock, gripping onto him so much that he came inside of you. Your sublime expression so innocent, eyes half-lidded in euphoria. The Scribe pulled out, letting you stumble against him for support.

“So good for me, let me clean you up, sweetheart.”

The long-forgotten graduates were still at the very same table, entertaining themselves with numerous glasses of alcohol and a card game of the General’s choice. It’d be a complete lie if they were to say they hadn’t had a clue about your prior predicament.

The lipstick stains over Al Haitham’s face and neck, his dishevelled hair accompanied with your dress creased and legs still trembling from implied events— all telltale signs of something more explicit.

“It’s called seven minutes in heaven, not thirty minutes making your neighbour’s ears hell!” An embarrassed complaint from an even more ashamed blonde, flicking a card at his chuckling roommate.

#we’re zhongli and xiao lovers here #genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #alhaitham #genshin alhaitham #genshin impact alhaitham #alhaitham smut #alhaitham x fem!reader #al haitham x reader #kaveh #cyno #genshin kaveh #genshin cyno #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #please i hope my attention hasn’t decreased #repost yes

[im-a-hoping-beetch]

Many people genuinely get confused when we, native people, get uncomfortable when Katara, a native character, is reduced to a mom and her canon relationships with characters are put down in favour for a boy who lived in a society that benefitted from her oppression, antagonised her and her friends for most of the series and was even racist at times. But because he's hot and had an episode with katara, everything should be forgiven, because god forbid a native girl gets with anyone who isn't from a group of people who aided the genocide of her people. God forbid two characters who experienced genocide have a relationship and connect over this shared trauma, in favour for boy who also has mom trauma

Look, while I can understand your feelings of discomfort towards the ship, I’d still like to put certain things into perspective.

Now, I don’t really know what you meant by her being “reduced” to a mom. Do you mean that her relationship with Zuko would confine her to such a role? Which, by the way, is absolutely laughable, since one of the main reasons why so many ppl ship these two is bcz unlike every member of the gaang (aside from Suki), Zuko is the only one with who she doesn’t have to act like a surrogate mother. Katara is allowed to be angry and be vulnerable with him. All things that we rarely see her be able to do with the rest of the bunch, let alone her own brother.

Actually, one of the main appeal of the two is bcz, both have the same level of of maturity and similar way of interacting with the members of the gaang. Which is why so many ppl label the two as “parents of the group”.

But, if you’re talking about how, we zutarians usually talk abt the intricacies that come with her being a motherly person, I’ve got some news for ya. Most of us, usually, never fail to highlight how much of a tragedy, her being pushed into a role of adulthood at such a young age is. Also, on how, ironically, her canonical partner (Aang) has never really helped with that phenomenon, actually he perpetuated it even further.

Besides, wanna talk abt canon relationships being put down for a boy, well, look no further than canon itself, anon. I’m guessing that you’ve probably read this post, due to the phrasing at the beginning of your ask. One thing I specifically touched on, was how much of Katara’s existence seems to revolve around Aang, the biggest example being, the comics. In them, we do see the creators ready to strain Katara’s established relationships with the gaang (aside from her brother) in order to shove kataang down our throats. Cuz if you think abt it, Toph and Katara’s interactions are heavily reduced, let alone meaningful ones and do not even get me started on Zuko or Suki.

Yes, Zuko lived in a society that benefited from her oppression. He has antagonized her and her friends. But Zuko is also made to recognize the harm his actions have caused. Additionally, at no point is he not faced with the consequences of what he has done towards the gaang. Every single member gets to express anger or/and resentment over what he’s done in the past, Katara is no exception. Actually, she’s the one who’s given the most leeway in terms of doing so. Even for things he had no control over such as her mother’s death and the fire nation raids. However, instead of whining about how he’s not responsible for all of this taking place, something he could’ve easily done, he makes it up to her. He helps her seek justice for her mother while her canonical future boyfriend is out here reducing her righteous anger to blindsided revenge.

I don’t know what you mean by “Because He’s hot and had an episode with her, everything should be forgiven.” To me, that last part owed to make me scratch all the dandruff off my braids. Language is a powerful tool, but often than not, people don’t really know how to use it nor seem to understand the ramifications of their use. When you say “everything should be forgiven”, you are framing forgiveness as something passive, when, here, it is active. Someone does the action of forgiving Zuko, Katara does. Katara forgives him, because he earned it.

Right now, I’m assuming that you thought you were in defence of Katara, but the truth is that you are actually perpetuating an habit that many have had when it comes to the Southern Raiders. Which is to perpetually strip any agency Katara has in an episode literally centered around her character!?!

Nobody forbid anyone from anything. If people don’t feel comfortable shipping these two, so be it. However, to act as if Zuko hasn’t actively fought against the system that has led to those atrocities being done or like he hasn’t used his position of power in order to make actual change or/and retributions, is simply disingenuous.

Aang and Katara did have a relationship, but have never connected over their shared trauma. More specifically, Aang failed to connect over their shared trauma, when he should have and instead used as a way to silence hers. @sokkastyles makes a very good point about it in this post.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zutara #anti kataang #anti bryke #anti aang #atla fandom critical #zuko #katara #pro katara #the southern raiders #anti atla comics

[franklespine]

Something interesting about the rare occasions that Sam and Dean actually talk about their childhood or their parents that I've noticed is how it reveals really how little Sam knows about his own family. Like in s1 when they have to return to their childhood home after Sam has a vision he asks Dean how much he remembers of the night their mother died. Dean tells him he carried him out the house and Sam is shocked at this development; clearly this was a day that they haven't talked about at all. Despite that night being the foundation of what drove John and Dean to even start their relentless hunt in the first place, it was always this unsaid thing that Sam never understood to the same level as they did.

Later in the episode Dark Side of the Moon in s5 Sam is put in the position of a passive observer to Dean's memory of a moment with their mother. Even in this good memory Mary has an argument with John over the phone and Sam is suddenly struck with the realisation that their life pre-Mary's death wasn't this ideal picket-fence family dynamic he thought it was. John and Mary's relationship was strained and even before the age of four Dean was 'cleaning up' their father's 'messes' (as Sam calls it). To me its such an interesting concept because no wonder Sam felt like the odd one out in the family (and this is not considering the whole demon blood freak thing). He was constantly in the position of hovering on the cusp of understanding this unsaid past, which is the key to understanding Dean and John themselves. No wonder he wasn't inclined to be a hunter; to him Mary was was an absence of a mother, and yet to John and Dean it was at the very core driving them to relentlessly peruse this lifestyle.

And its frustrating because neither John or Dean seem to ever want to acknowledge of even try to understand this position Sam's in. Dean continues to berate him for 'abandoning his family', when really Sam was being suffocated under a lifestyle that had been forced upon him, forever unable to fully understand the all consuming grief that came from Mary's death like John and Dean did. To me this idea seems to culminate in Dark Side of the Moon, which is also an episode where Dean frustrated me the most. Because of course I understand why Sam's memories of running away from home and going to Stanford being considered as good memories would hurt Dean - family is everything to him. But it really shows how Dean just refuses to even try to understand Sam's perspective in this. These aren't good memories to Sam because he abandoned his family, they're good memories because they are the pockets of moments in his life where he has ever felt any agency over himself. Sam tries to explain himself to Dean but no it's about as good as justifying your actions to a wall and this is something that Dean has held over his head since the pilot. And then he's apparently so angry that he throws away the amulet Sam gave him?? My god, like I wasn't already screaming at my screen.

These complexities to their relationship really wouldn't bother me so much if every time these interpersonal issues were brought up they weren't resolved with Sam having to acknowledge that he was the one in the wrong. Like I get Flagstaff obviously dregs up some real bad memories for Dean of their father but come on, Stanford?? Surely after this many episodes we can understand that Sam was just perusing something he wanted to do for once. What's worse is that all Sam really wanted out of it from his family was for Dean and their father to be proud of him. He compares their situation to 'normal families' saying that most families would be overjoyed that their son got a full ride to Stanford. And that's really at the crux of all he ever wanted from them... Anyway sorry this is deeply unstructured I just have some Thoughts occasionally whilst watching Supernatural for the first time in 2023. Currently on the first chunk of s7 and jesus the whole shit with Amy is the other Dean thing that has made me yell at him in frustration but I won't open that can of worms. I swear I do love Dean and his messed up complexities... I just like Sam more and find him to be a more sympathetic character (which I am beginning to think is an unpopular perspective but what do I know; I've been watching this show for like a month).

#supernatural #spn #sam winchester #dean winchester #john winchester

[im-no-jedi]

I have Crosshair on the brain today for literally no reason and was really struck thinking about that moment with Wrecker and Tech in Kamino Lost. mainly how, yet again, Tech perfectly sums up what it's like being someone with a mental disability.

Wrecker breaks character a bit and gets angry at Crosshair for being such an ass, and especially for not putting an effort into leaving the Empire once his chip was removed. an understandable and valid reaction.

Crosshair doesn't have time to respond before Tech steps in though.

Tech straight up tells Wrecker to let it go. he doesn't need Crosshair to say anything because he already knows what Crosshair might say. despite not agreeing with him (as he later stated), Tech understands why Crosshair is behaving the way that he is. this indicates that Crosshair has behaved similarly in the past and therefore is no surprise to someone like Tech, who has the same problem. and he tries to explain that to Wrecker.

Tech outright states two of Crosshair's major character traits. two traits that can be seen both as positive and negative. neurodiverse people often have traits like this that manifest outside of their control, causing them to behave in ways that come across unnatural. it often takes an outside source, like Tech is doing here, for the person to even realize that those behaviors can be a bad thing. Tech even confirms the fact that it's simply a part of who Crosshair is.

but he doesn't stop there. because this goes beyond simple character traits, which can often be changed or altered in some way.

Tech starts by telling Wrecker that he can't change how Crosshair is. this is honestly good advice in general, but it especially applies to mental disability. no amount of work or effort can fully change how a neurodivergent person behaves. it's literally wired into their brain. sure, things like therapy and medication can help. but like a stubborn stain or a deep scar, those traits will never fully go away.

and Tech confirms this with one final statement.

Crosshair himself can't even do anything about it. and this to me is the real attribute of mental disability. it's simply something that's out of everyone's hands. it's also interesting to note Crosshair's expression here. he seems genuinely intrigued by Tech's statement, like he's just heard something he wasn't expecting to hear. Crosshair ends up asking why Tech "stood up" for him, but I think it goes beyond that. I think Crosshair hadn't considered that fact that things were out of his control. which we end up seeing in season two with his eventual strained relationship with the Empire.

now, this isn't me saying that we should excuse neurodivergent people for their behaviors. everyone, regardless of circumstance, should take responsibility for their own actions. and it's moments like this that are actually helpful in understanding how to deal with mental issues. I say this as a mentally disabled person myself. having that outside source to point out those behaviors, regardless of whether or not they were intentional, still have consequences. clearly, the consequence for TBB was the separation of Crosshair from the rest of the squad. he made that choice, but it was due to natural traits that were out of his control (among other things). hopefully he'll eventually realize this, but that remains to be seen.

it's no secret that I personally headcanon the entire Bad Batch as being neurodiverse. Tech may be the most obvious example, but the signs are there for the others as well. and this moment just further validates it for me. at the very least, it's an excellent comparison to mental disability, whether intentional or not, just like Tech's line in The Crossing. and I'll be forever grateful for a show like this giving us that representation 💙

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #tbb wrecker #sorry if this isn't very coherent lkdfjgkfdlsd #I needed to get my thoughts down before I forgot them #anyway you can pry neurodivergent TBB from my dead hands thanks #those boys ain't right in the head (affectionately LOL) #Mr Snarky Sniper #Muscles™ #Goggles™ #star warz

[viscardiac]

Hello. I wonder if you are taking requests, can you write for Baelon, Aemon, Daemon Blackfyre, Rickard Stark, Eddard Stark, Stannis Baratheon, Roose Bolton as a husband?

Sup. I kinda realized along the way that i can't really do that number of characters on a request because the dopamine slips from my fingers. I did do the first ones, though, so have at it.

Baelon strikes me, specially in his youth, as the type who just can't sit still. He got along with Alyssa for that same reason, she couldn't sit still either. How disappointed must she have been when he marries you! If Baelon is to be your husband, you better be ready to be always on the move, always doing something. Baelon was always the most intense of Jaehaerys' older boys, which might be overwhelming if his wife is not the same, factor that does too apply to the bedroom. Baelon wants to be with his wife time and again, and chances are the children will not take long to come as well. It might be a problem if he is with someone with a colder personality, more contained and rigid, the relationship might suffer the strain for it.

I'm assuming you mean the Aemon who was Jaehaerys' son. Aemon might need a partner who will understand he's not trying to be difficult, he just wants to consider every possibility. He's likelier to be in love from afar than his younger brother, who will absolutely push him to go over to talk to you. But once things have settled, he'd be the sort to remember everything about you. Knows just what kind of food you like to eat, what you do when you're sad, how you like to celebrate, but is often shy to act on what he knows would be the best course of action. Aemon is the one who wants to know everything about everything, and that often makes him forget that he doesn't let on much about himself either. Your husband knows evertything about you, but you barely know what he likes best to eat. Maybe it's hard for him to talk about himself. Maybe it'll be even harder to notice he hasn't told you when his birthday is. He doesn't do it out of malice, mind you, but doesn't make it easier for his s/o. Treats them with all the care in the world… but do you really know where he went when he saddled Caraxes this morning?

Daemon Blackfyre is his father's son -- though not necessarily in a negative way. He seems to have a difficulty in seeing how things end up long term, and wants things when he wants them. That might have been the case with his spouse as well. One day he barely knows they exist, the other, they can no longer live without them. I think a long term relationship with him would take a cyclic form, growing and fading time and again as the months come and go. This month he's bewitched by you, the next month, he can't stand the sight of you. It's not necessarily malicious, but it can become so if the opportunity arises. He needs time to fall in and out of love again and again, and is much more martial than his father had been. Things can shift in a matter of moments. The part of the cycle he's in dictates how he treats you when you're alone or in bed. He may be caring, giving, and will prioritize you over him when he's at the highest points, but at the lowest ones, it's about what he wants and what you're going to give him, with some measure of violence on the gesture, intentional or not. He is always present, though. The exception is war, to which he does not take you along. He may leave at whichever point in the rollercoaster, and while he's away, you can't expect to be the only one. But he always comes back missing you, and missing everything you represent. No matter how sometimes he may think he hates you, he knows he doesn't.

Rickard Stark is the kind of man to put his hands on your shoulders while the both of you stare out of a window on a tower and ask you what do you see. When he looks, he sees into the distance, too far for you to know where. He was always an ambitious man, however quiet, silent that ambition was, and having a spouse to share that with would be a joy to him. To plot futures and scheme alliances. Yes, there must always be a Stark in Winterfell, but why shouldn't there be a Stark in court, or in the citadel, or overseeing the Narrow Sea? He is a rigid man, made to face whatever the winter throws at him, but the what ifs are too much to bear alone. His maester shared that ambition, and if you do not, rest assured, there will be conflict. And while he is open to new views, new ideas, he's also very keen on what he has learned as the right way to do things. He can be persuaded, of course, but that might take a while.

Eddard Stark is nothing short of dutiful, and much harder to approach. He will always be by your side, like he has been taught a husband should, but truth is, he's got no clue what he's getting himself into. He makes his best effort, mind you, but he's not one to share his burdens or his opinions and emotions. His father knew what to do, his brother knew what to do, and he's been relying on the fact that people think he knows what he's doing since he became Lord of Winterfell. He needs clear words, honest and simple, to know what he can and should entrust you or not. Maybe he needs to be confided in before he can confide. If a cold marriage is what the future had in store for him, then so it is, but it's not what he wants, and finally being able to feel like he's not so alone anymore will definitely have its weight, however different from him you might be.

#my writing #inquiries #eddard stark #ned stark #ned stark x reader #rickard stark #rickard stark x reader #daemon blackfyre #house blackfyre #daemon blackfyre x reader #aemon targaryen #aemon targaryen x reader #baelon targaryen #baelon targaryen x reader #asoiaf #pre asoiaf #got #house stark #house targaryen

[leitereads]

Kuroshitsuji: an analysis on "fagging" and a change of power dynamics between characters

I know how disappointed some fans are regarding the "politically correct" presentation of Ciel and the overall "fagging" culture that was common back then at elite boarding schools in the UK. From what I have heard from people slightly older than me, this was a thing that carried on into the late 90s in certain private schools. As of now, I am sorry, I don’t know anyone rich enough to ask them regarding those things.

However, what I can say about this matter is that a) this practice is can be found almost anywhere in the world (mostly in universities), b) it is about power exchange and how it leads to respecting tradition and bond with other students, c) I am part of it in my own university and d) it’s deliciously represented in Kuroshitsuji, in a way that somehow gives us a different perspective over what Ciel can and cannot do, limiting his actions, something that he, as a powerful noble, is not used to.

Fagging

In many countries and cultures cross the world, "fagging" has many different names, and many different forms. In the US you have fraternities and sororities, here in my country you have the "Praxe". In the UK you have (had?) fagging, in which consisted exactly on younger students doing most part of domestic tasks that were supposed to be made by older students. The older the students were, the more power and status they gained inside the institution, and therefore the more privileges they had. In consequence, although these fags didn’t have an easy life, they still had some sort of protection and status themselves for serving someone older. This creates an hierarchy based on age, more specifically just academic age.

Ciel, as being someone young is, of course, at the base of this hierarchical system. Someone who is used to be at the top of the hierarchical ladder is going to struggle to adapt to a new environment, one in which he simply cannot understand/agree with the traditions imposed. This will create a certain obstacle at first, because he needs to learn how to navigate in a different society so different and, at the same time, so similar to the one he belongs to: the only difference being where he stands. And we see Ciel, for the second time in his life, working himself from the the way down to the way up.

In the first time, his birth condition (well, let’s assume we are speaking about Ciel’s condition, and not o!Ciel’s one at least) gave him a kickstart in life: a manor, monetary goods, a title. In this case, he is a mere 1st year student, and he must subjugate himself to the desires (sometimes sadistic) of older students, especially Clayton at first.

Psychological Implications

It may be complicated from Ciel, even more taking in consideration how prideful he is, to swallow that pride and abide by traditions he a) doesn’t relate to b) finds useless and c) seeing himself without a lot of power to swiftly surpass those obstacles. Ciel is not there in order to live the academic traditions that are present around him, nor to make friends, of course. And, in the end, fagging and these other academic traditions open the door to just that: when people suffer together they usually stick together. This is the meaning of fagging, Praxe, and all the other academic traditions listed. And this is not what he is searching for. Which puts a little bit of strain on him, and he ultimately might think they are extremely childish and ridiculous.

Another interesting aspect of this overall power exchange here is that Sebastian is in a higher position of power than Ciel, as opposed to their base situation. This is, of course, extremely debatable, and the power that each one of them holds in their master/servant (no, I am not talking about that sort of thing… eww) is quite mutable, and, at times, one may hold more control over the other, and that is changing. Here we have a third factor contributing to that mutable power exchange: a different environment, where Sebastian’s position allows him to be seen as more respectable. And this is extremely delicious to see when he lets Ciel undergoing the initiation ritual with the bedsheets and being thrown: Sebastian is, obviously, enjoying himself at the expense of his master’s suffering, since in normal situations he simply cannot do that, at least not as frequently. To Sebastian this is cathartic, and to Ciel (Sebastian’s master) this must feel extremely insolent. Especially because Ciel is someone who likes to always be in control, having in consideration all he went through.

Undergoing this traditional upbringing will, hopefully, provide Ciel either the necessary tools regarding being more self-reliant and independent when it comes to Sebastian because, even if the demon is able to help him out with all the domestic tasks that he needs to do, who knows what will happen when Ciel loses (even if just temporarily) Sebastian one day (which, as another post explained, it might happen sooner than we think).

By being a fag and by navigating a position in which he is in a lower position, Ciel can’t find many shortcuts to success, and he will need to a) rely on his interpersonal skills, b) make connections with other students, c) be aware of what’s going on, socially, around him (read the room) and d) use his insight more than the sheer force and threats of Sebastian.

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #ciel phantomhive #public school arc #anime #manga #meta #analysis #character analysis #writing #culture

[nerdytreeflower]

Sunshine: Prologue

Derek Morgan X Reader

Summary: Bestfriends. Or something close to that anyway. That's what they are, but after one wine-fuelled night's sleep and a whole load of tossing and turning, one side of the friendship becomes strained. Derek Morgan wants to know why. Which is when the perfect opportunity comes from the pipecleaner with eyes and she has no choice but to confront the feelings she believes are one-sided. Confrontation and serial killers seem like a good mix, right? That's what I thought.

Chapter CW: 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: Okay, so here is the prologue of the first fanfic I have ever written so constructive criticism is extremely welcome. And yes, I have written this statement before somewhere but also please keep in mind I am easily hurt so any mean comments will quite possibly reduce me to tears.

Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

It was all Reid's idea. Even if that's not what Hotch believed, the young genius had a way of suggesting ideas in a broad term and leaving it to another member of the team to own the epiphany of the actual idea itself. Whether it be for their egos or his exhaustion from having to be the smart one all the time she hadn't quite figured it out. All she knew was that stupidly innocent smile the doctor had sent her when Hotch suggested that the two agents going undercover to catch the unsub would be Morgan and herself. And that their cover would be a married couple.

She did not doubt that this case could be done just as successfully with any other combination of agents on the team, but one quip made it clear that, in their unit chief's opinion, she and Morgan would accurately fit the victimology. No further objections were made on her end, especially as the first she made was met with a teasing remark from the object of her struggles himself.

"What, you scared to get a little action, Sweetheart?" he had teased, any other day prior she would have met his teasing head-on, even flirting back a little. But today she avoided as much eye contact as she could, looking down at the file that showed the case and where they would be staying as the resort didn't want the reputation of the establishment and they had the backing of some frequent customers that were high up on the BAU's hierarchy. Ergo, the covert observation and investigation.

"I just want to make sure we are the best qualified for this, the choice of agents we use could determine if we catch this guy." Hotch nodded and out of the corner of her eye, she could see the shift in Morgan's expression. The last thing she wanted to do was make him doubt her trust in him, as backup or as a friend.

"This is the decision I've made and I believe it to be the most representative of this unsub's victimology," Hotch explained as if understanding her concern. Spencer was still smiling, looking proud of himself. She couldn't help but think that none of this would have happened if they hadn't invited him on one of their girl's nights out.

"We need more shots! I'm going to get more shots!" Penelope left despite the refusal of the others at the bar table, she put her head in her arms with laughter bubbling up her throat. 

"Hotch is going to kill us if we come in hungover tomorrow," she whined and the others groaned and laughed, all bubbled up by the cocktails prior.

"Can you blame her? I too want to see how well Boy Genius here handles tequila," Emily huffed, nudging Spencer who already looked dazy, empty glasses in front of him.

"Think of it as the initiation," JJ teased and he had the sense to look slightly wary.

"What do I get once I've passed the initiation?"

"Rather cocky, aren't we?"

"Well, I-"

"Relax, Spence, once you've passed the initiation then you get full access. All the things we talk about, all the gossip and secrets we share- you are privy to." His eyes lit up, knowledge was something he always craved, there was little left of factual knowledge he could absorb, but opinions and new events? He knew nothing of them, his curiosity was peaked.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" two tequila shots are placed in front of him and all four girls look at him expectantly. He winced and threw back the first one, face looking like he was chewing on a lemon but it passed after a couple of seconds and the next one went down. They cheered and all leaned into the table, as if ready to start whispering.

"Okay, what's the first piece of gossip we can think of," she asked but immediately regretted it when they all turned to her.

it was now a week later, on their first case since that night, and just over two weeks since she had not been able to look Derek Morgan in the eye because of her stupid subconscious' need to ruin one of the most important relationships in her life. Before, they would flirt playfully, and hang out together constantly, they were, as PG put it, "Practically Besties". 

Now, if she could help it they wouldn't even look each other in the eye, she could tell that it was driving him crazy trying to figure out what happened, what he did. But it wasn't what he did, it was what she did, well more specifically what she dreamed that had changed the entire view of their relationship in her eyes. Not that she could say anything, lest it be ruined further by her selfish desires to make something impossible out of something she already had.

When she zoned back in, everyone was standing, "Wheels up in 50, Morgan, Sunny, does that give you enough time to gather what you need?" Hotch asked and she nodded, packing up her files and rushing out the door as if her tail was on fire. She grabbed her bag and made her way to the elevator, ignoring the call to hold the door, and immediately left the building, getting in her car and driving home to pack her bags for the possible two-week-long case that would require her acting head-over-heels in love with one of her best friends. She just wished that acting was all it was.

Derek Morgan was not known for his humility. His looks, his ability to sweet-talk the clothes right off a woman's body, and his increasing ability to be a thorn in the side of the financial department of the BAU? Maybe. ('The doors, Derek. The doors' she had once explained to him when one of the suit-wearing lower floor employees was glaring at him from the coffee machine) But not his humility.

This was a mistake of quick judgement, anyone who had known him for as long as the team had would tell you, that in fact, Derek Morgan was kind-hearted and surprisingly modest when it came to many areas of his life. 

One of those areas just happened to be her.

He was a profiler; he got paid to practically translate the minds of people others in the criminal justice system could barely dream of empathising with. In layman's terms, he got paid to read people. Consequently, he was also great at fending off similar intuitions from his coworkers that housed the same abilities- good at hiding things from most people.

However, the new and unforeseen pivot of the once strong and budding connection he had with his teammate had thrown him off completely, to a point where he had trouble pulling the wool over even the most oblivious member's eyes. One day they were trading flirtatious and witty remarks over the barrier between their desks and the next she couldn't even make eye contact, she wouldn't as shown by her immediate dismissal of any attempt to communicate within the past week. He was starting to feel the long-term effects of the lack of attention on her part like a withdrawal. 

Like a flower that once preened in a warm wash of intense sun only to be left stretching for even a scrap of light when it was rooted solidly to the ground, blocked from the single isolating cloud that didn't appear to overshadow the rest of the meadow. He had been deprived of his sunlight and it was driving him insane, he depended on her attention for warmth and satisfaction. And even worse he didn't know why, what had he done to make her stop shinning on him? 

He had tried so hard over the past several days once he had noticed something awry, but every time he started up a conversation it was shot down. Not impolitely, but certainly, not friendly either, not the person he had grown to expect over the years, to cherish- the extremes to which he would go to see her smile at him were getting ridiculous, he was an addict and she was selfishly depriving him.

Derek Morgan was distraught.

A small modicum of hope bloomed in his chest when he heard their new assignment. Despite the obviously horrific serial killer, it was one that would not fail to get his heart racing even without the currently present cold turkey from his vice, one he would at any given time derive immense joy from being as close to her as the assignment would entail.

That hope was then snuffed out as she didn't make eye contact, didn't respond to the tease he baited her with, and ran away as soon as the meeting was over, not even holding the elevator door for him whether it be through lack of hearing or effort he did not know. What he did know was that this assignment was happening, that the decision was already made by the higher-ups, and the fact that they would be spending at least the next week together was irrefutable. And his chance to find out whatever he had done and fix it.

A/N: Please comment any and all constructive criticisms you may have!

#Derek Morgan #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan x y/n #derek morgan x you #bestfriends to lovers #forced proximity #derek morgan x fluff #fake dating #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x Y/N

[am-i-interrupting]

Hi!! I have a request for my favorite scientist Viktor ♥️ could I please get a fic in which Viktor has developed feelings for one of his fellow scientists and is avoiding them out of fear of being unprofessional? I would love it if he eventually confessed once reader confronts Viktor about him ignoring them. Thank you <3

Smart But Wrong

Tags: 870 words, fluff, misunderstandings

Viktor was not the most in tune with his own emotions, much less others. It wasn’t for a lack of trying. It was simply the result of being different. Being different left him isolated, even in the Undercity. It left him without people in those years they were vital. He was trying to get better at it but it was hard.

It took him a while to realize why his eyes were drawn to you. It didn’t click right away or even in a time that would be considered normal. No, he realized very late into the game that he was attracted to you.

When he did, you were sitting beside him, rambling on about a theory you had. He had turned his head up from his own work to watch you speak with your movements and expressions. Inside his head something switched and a light bulb began to glow. A sign lit up and it has an arrow pointed at his heart with you situated inside.

He didn’t know what to do. It has been a very long time since he’d had a crush. Sure, he could compliment people’s looks and their outfits but anything beyond that had been some time since he’d felt.

Viktor was confused and when he didn’t understand something, he liked to be alone with his thoughts. That’s exactly what he did. He went to be alone from his thoughts, away from the thing of his confusion while he tried to understand himself. Unfortunately that meant away from you.

He didn’t realize he was being avoidant. He just took note of when you were around and planned his actions accordingly, trying to test what did and did not feel right and natural around you. Then he’d catalog it so he could look back and decide if it was appropriate later. His intent wasn’t to avoid you, it was simply to try to better understand what he was feeling.

It was a surprise to him when you came to his house on the weekend with a stern look on your face as soon as he opened the door.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” you said.

Viktor felt anxiety bubble up inside him. “Have I?” he asked, words genuine on his tongue.

“Yes, and I want to know why,” you said as you brushed past him and inside.

“I— It was not my intention. I apologize,” he told you as he slowly shut the door. “I’ve had a lot on my mind these past couple weeks. I'm just trying to figure them out.”

“And figuring them out involves you avoiding me in favor of Jayce?” you asked with a cocked brow.

“Yes,” he said as he walked into the kitchen and began brewing tea. “You see, you are the object of my confusion. You’re hard to figure out.”

You paused for a moment, “So in an attempt to understand me, you’re avoiding me? How does that make sense?”

He shook his head. “You’re not what’s confusing me. It’s myself. Sorry, I’m not the best at explaining things. I'm sure you know this by now.”

You followed him to the counter and leaned against it. “Well, try anyway.”

He paused his actions before he continued to search his cabinets for tea bags as he had the water on the stove. “Do you prefer black tea or green tea?”

“Viktor,” you said in a warning tone.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped. “You,” he paused to search for the right words, “you make me feel things I haven’t felt in some time and I wanted to catalog how my actions around you differ from others. That is all.”

You felt your heart stop, then skip a beat, and begin again faster than ever. “How do I make you feel different?” you asked in a strained voice.

“That is not important,” he said as he weighed the tea bags in his hands before he put up the green tea.

“It is to me,” you told him, trying to will your hope down in case it was about to be crushed.

He was quiet for a moment that stretched into nearly a minute. His facial expression twitched several times on a minuscule level. Then he inhaled deeply.

“I don’t want to lose the relationship I have with you because of feelings that could very well be fruitless and fleeting,” he said, finally looking at you.

“You won’t,” you told him.

“Can you promise this won’t change things?”

“No, but I can promise I won’t leave.”

His eyes darted across you, looking for any sign of deceit. He didn’t find any.

He swallowed around nothing before he spoke, “I fear my feelings towards you have evolved into something of a more romantic nature.”

“And why is that something to be afraid of?” you asked, willing your blood to go back to other parts of your body and not just your face.

“Because it could push you to leave.”

You shook your head. “How can you be so smart and so wrong at the same time?” you asked.

He didn’t have time to retort with his own question because you pulled him down and pressed your lips against his before he had the chance.

#viktor arcane x reader #viktor x reader #viktor x you

[i-am-minty-fresh]

For the strawhat relationship thingy maybe luffy and robin??(platonically ofc)

she is kinda like a mother figure but i also think she works equally as well as just a friend

idk but i think theyre really silly and want to hear what you think as well

Okay I have the flu right now so this might not be as long as I want, but you’d be strained to call it short.

Robin and Luffy hold a special place in my heart for being the most explicit example of what being friends with Luffy can do to a Motherfucker. When Robin initially joins the crew she manipulates Luffy into taking responsibility for her, and manipulates everyone else on the crew using their abject flaws when facing an enemy (Sanji loves women, Usopp and Chopper are children who like having fun, and Nami likes money). She runs into an initial problem with getting on the good side of Zoro because Zoro believes in action above all else (like how he almost killed himself to prove Nami wasn’t bad in Arlong Park). As viewers we aren’t meant to trust Robin, and so we don't ...up until Skypeia.

Skypeia is the first time that she takes an action that would put herself in danger to protect the crew…she’s growing attached.

And who can blame her! Luffy’s heart isn’t a log pose it’s, an eternal pose meaning it doesn’t sway to unrelated distraction islands and is always accurate. He knows that Robin is a good person because she helped him not die of poisoning from Crocodile without any real reason. He’s never been afraid of her….

He’s never been afraid of her.

From Robin’s perspective this will wear off soon. She has lived her life as a dead woman, never belonging anywhere because she’s the devil’s child. She’s never been a person as much as face to throw darts at in every pirate bar and marine headquarters. She’s seeked after for either her knowledge or her power…Luffy wants neither.

Think about that. He doesn’t want either. Like what we saw with Sanji when he asked him to join his crew without (actually) seeing him fight or eating his food. Luffy wants good people on his crew and he’s not been wrong yet.

But at the same time, Luffy doesn’t dismiss either her strength or her knowledge. He understands her to be an absolute force of nature but doesn’t expect her to use that if she doesn’t want to. Luffy puts the crew's comfort above what they provide for him (which is the reason the Water 7 Usopp fight happens but that’s for another time), meaning she can kill everyone here if she wants but she can just sit in her chair and read her stories while Luffy takes care of it.

Before Enies Lobby, Robin might have assumed that Luffy underestimated her which is what her leaving was supposed to emphasize, ‘I’m too much work and I’m sorry you had to find that out now…we had fun and now it’s over’ she thought that once Luffy and Co. found out about CP9 and the buster call and her polyglyph knowledge they would take the easy way out by leaving her to die. They didn’t sign up to deal with an actual fugitive who was the sole survivor of a genocide, and she can pay them back for all that they’ve done for her by saving their lives one last time…

TOO BAD IT’S THE STRAWHAT CREW, BABY!

So they save her ass and teach her the meaning of friendship and what naught and now Robin’s in so deep she’s at like Zoro levels.

She’s crazy, she’s feral, she’s demented as fuck, and you know what she also is? A straw hat. Her crew loves her and respects her not just as a psychopath willing to break everyone’s spines nor as one of the few people in the world who can read the Road Polyglyphs necessary for Luffy to become King of the Pirates, but as another member of the spontaneous strawhat crew.

For Luffy specifically she does in fact act like a mother, but she’s like a perfect combination of mom’s that Luffy has had. Makino and Dadan. Dadan let Luffy run wild without bandaging his wounds because he doesn’t like being coddled like a child very well. Dadan’s all mama bear, violent and protective over what she has left of her cubs. Makino has that ‘normal’ mom vibe. Comfort and serenity. Someone to clap when Luffy does something cool and read to him when he’s all tuckered out. Neither of them taught Luffy the insane moral compass that he has, they only helped him grow along with it. With Dadan it was more about learning to leave the other guy bloodied and beaten, never let anyone mess with what’s yours. With Makino it was about compassion and believing people have good intentions, leaning on others whenever you need help.

Robin does both. She pets Luffy’s hair and indulges in his childish antics but she’s also raw power and protective strength. Luffy taught her to stop only using her powers for herself (more or less as a form of self-soothing, only focusing on herself as a defensive mechanism to keep herself safe) and so now she’s gonna use those powers for others. Her family. Luffy relies on her the same way he relies on any member of his crew, and in return he’s got an elite force of killing machines that will watch the world burn in order to protect him.

I don’t know if this made a lick of sense because I’m kinda drowsy and blinking in and out of consciousness but hopefully this explains everything! (I might re-read this later and re-write it when I’m not off my rocker).

Thanks for the ask!

#one piece #monkey d luffy #nico robin #character analysis #minty musings

[marshmallowprotection]

Do you think SE saeran can eventually be happy? like, i mean, i know in theory he could with the right help.... but I can't help but think of how sad he is at the end of the secret endings. he's not lashing out anymore, which is an improvement, but he still seems so... defeated. saeran needs to be happy too 😭 no more sad just an infinite supply of ice cream

At the end of the day, I do think it's a complicated question that's hard for me to answer in a realistic sense because what I have to say about it is much more depressing than it is positive. If you want the honest answer about why SE Saeran is in one piece by the time we're shown the final image, well, I have to remind people Saeran is only alive because he is fully aware his brother won't allow him to die.

That means there is no point in trying to get rid of himself. It doesn't matter how many times he tries to get rid of himself, his twin brother isn't going to let him die. The reason why he stops fighting right at that moment is simply because of that. It's not some moment of clarity and realization where he decides he wants to live his life. He knows that he can't fight his brother anymore.

So, Saeran turns to apathy. What's the real point in fighting anymore when there's no winning or getting out of this situation? He gives up. He gives up trying to fight Saeyoung and decides that he'll just... move through life because he has no other choice. He has to live going forward but that doesn't mean he has to be happy about it. If anything, apathy keeps him from hurting others or himself. Not that he has very much fight left in him, regardless.

But, there is a reason why he looks so defeated and that's because he was defeated.

He wanted to die and he couldn't even do that.

That choice was taken away from him like every other choice was taken away from him. He's never been allowed to make decisions for himself. He has been pushed around by other people's decisions for the entirety of his life.

That is not to say that he hasn't done things of his own volition, but his actions have always been spurred by the results of other people's decisions for him.

When it comes down to it, a lot of people don't put much thought into SE Saeran when it comes to how much he's been robbed of his autonomy. Everyone in his life decided his fate from the minute he was born and he has never been able to make a decision for himself.

Saeyoung made choices for him when they were kids, V and Rika made choices for him as he grew up, and Saeyoung's still in making choices for him to this day. Saeyoung pulled him away from that hospital, and even if we are able to understand his reasoning behind it, it still wasn't the best thing for Saeran.

Saeyoung hovers. His paranoia and parentification trauma have put him in a place where he struggles to see his brother as anything but a helpless child who can't do anything for himself. Even though his heart is in a good place, the way he tries to help his brother get better isn't going to be the way things get better for anyone.

His actions are akin to what I can only describe as smothering. He is afraid that his brother will die and he wants to prevent that no matter what. That will only going to strain the already fragile relationship in the long run.

What can Saeran do about that? He doesn't have the language to communicate how that makes him feel, and for the most part, it puts him into a place where he shuts down and closes everybody out of his mind. He shuts down quite a bit and it's going to be that way for a while. Saeyoung is going to be on the wire trying to find the best way to communicate with his brother in a healthy way.

Unfortunately, the only way the two of them are going to be able to make peace will come from the two of them going to therapy separately and then together. Saeran needs to have an outlet where he can talk about how he feels about not having any control and feeling like everybody treats him like some helpless child.

Saeyoung needs to have somebody acknowledge his paranoia and fear but remind him that he can't smother everyone around him by trying to be their parents. Once they have some kind of outlet to talk about these things, it'll get better in the bunker for everyone. It's going to take a very long time to get to that point, though. That's not something that's going to happen in a day. It's going to take a few years. That's putting it in a realistic manner. It isn't impossible but it sure is going to be an uphill battle. Everyone is going to have to be truly committed to healing to get there.

Do I think he's going to get better for himself someday? Yeah. It would be miserable for me to say that he isn't going to feel better in the future. It would be nihilistic to think that things couldn't get better. I don't want to imagine the secret ending timeline as a place where everyone is miserable and things don't get better. But, it's going to take a lot of hard work to make things okay, not even just better.

I tried to find a realistic conclusion for the secret ending when I wrote my story [Iris]. In that reality, nothing is perfect, everything is a little bit broken but that doesn't mean it isn't okay. They have to live with their mistakes and the things that happened to them, but they're allowed to be happy, too.

A part of reaching that conclusion came from acceptance. Saeran needs to accept that he can't change the past but he can decide to live for himself and when he makes that decision, I think his life will be better for it. But it has to be on his time frame and when he's ready. Nobody can force him to want to live his life.

He struggles with passive ideation of death and apathy for the world around him for a long time in my mind. But, I have a lot of opinions about him as a person that tends to deviate from the way most people tend to characterize him. Frankly, there is only so much we know about him after the curtains close, so we can only assume and take things with a grain of salt at the end of the day. I think it's going to get better for him eventually. Just let him make that choice for himself instead of trying to make it for him.

When it comes to the last interaction in the secret ending, I'm sure somebody would use this point of the conversation to try to say that this would be the point when he decided to live. But, I don't think so. This is more like resignation and accepting that he can't die so he has to get used to another option... This option has to be living despite not wanting to or even knowing what the point in living is.

When he says that he might give his brother the benefit of a doubt, it's not something he chooses because it's an outcome he wants. It's resignation. It's defeat. He hasn't forgiven his brother and it's going to be a long time before he truly decides to live for himself. It'll be a while before he decides to live in the name of something he wants instead of living because he has no choice but to do so. This traumatized man has suffered unbelievable things throughout his life... but, I have faith that he'll get to a place where he wants to live for himself.

Saeyoung.. in this comment below where he says that he wants to go back to how they were before? That's a part of his problem that he needs to work out as well. Saeyoung is stuck in the past. There is no going back. There just is no being who they were before everything happened to them.

They aren't those little boys anymore. Saeyoung is in desperate need of acceptance in that regard. But, you didn't ask about him so I won't go too deep into that aspect.

#mod kait #ask #mysme #mystic messenger #saeran choi #mysticmessenger #choi saeran #mm #se saeran #secret ending #character analysis #mm saeran #mysme saeran #saeran mysme #saeran mm #saeran mystic messenger #mystic messenger Saeran #tw passive ideation

[calmcoldevening]

You x Vincent Sinclair

Part 1

Vincent was always surprised by you.

You were extremely nice to him, such a nasty freak that he and his twin brother thought they were. But you always smiled at the sculptor, even when you found out what he was doing.

That day he stood shyly under your persistent gaze, his eyes fixed on the floor and rubbing the edge of the sweater you gave him in his hands. Vincent expected insults from you, screams, but it didn't happen. You just quietly came close to him, wrapping him in a tight embrace, from which the man was taken aback. Timidly, but he put his hands on your back. To feel your warmth seemed to him the most beautiful feeling on earth. You didn't leave. You stayed with him.

"You shouldn't listen to your brother, he makes you do such bad things," you whispered, stroking his back, "You're very sweet, Vince.

Vincent loved hugging you. He tried to devote all his free time from work to you. Let it be clumsy, because before that he did not have any close ties with anyone other than family, especially relationships, but he tried to show you all his care and love. It could be small things: a beautiful wax figure with an inscription on the inside; your portrait, which he painted in secret while you were sleeping; a hunting knife with a carved handle, made under the strict supervision of Bo.

Vincent liked it when you did something with his hair. Every time you praised him, stroking his hair, the man closed his eyes with pleasure, directing his head towards your fingers. You washed his hair a couple of times a week. No, of course he could have done it himself, but Vincent really liked your massage movements with his hands. That's why he always quietly approached you when you were doing your business. The man awkwardly pulled you by the sleeve of your jacket, you saw how his face strained under the mask at such moments. The man looked like a naughty child, and that only made him cuter and more innocent in your eyes. You could tell by the look in his eyes what he wanted.

You filled a tub full of water, bought by Bo at your request, and added Vincent's favorite foam. After that, you helped the man get into the water, watching the waves splash a little over the edges. Even while washing, Vincent tried not to take off his mask, fearing that you would get scared and leave him. That's what Bo told him. Using shampoo with lilac, which you thought was perfect for him, you started massaging his head. In order not to spoil the mask, you took all his hair to the back of his head. Slowly fingering the strands, you heard Vincent's delighted mumbling.

After shampooing, you always combed his long hair. Sometimes you even envied a man's hair: they have been arriving for so long without proper care and still continued to be damn soft and smooth, while yours, on which you occasionally spent a tidy sum, continued to split and break.

Sometimes it seemed to you that for Vincent you were a cross between a mother and a girl. You took care of a man, and he loved you, but your relationship never went beyond kissing, which fell on Vince's wax face or some exposed parts of his body. He still tried to avoid your attempts to remove the mask from him, but when the conversation came about, the man deftly shifted the topic, leaving you with nothing.

"Don't worry, baby, he also wears a mask with me, I haven't seen his real face for a long time" Bo comforted you, hugging, "And why do you need it? His face is ugly. I sound like his brother".

In response, you just shoved Bo in the side and went to Vincent, who often managed to hear such conversations. You still don't understand if he knows how to talk or just prefers to be silent. A man has always shown you something with gestures or actions.

Vincent liked to lie on your lap. This usually happened when you read a story to a man. You were sitting on the bed, and he gently placed his head on your lap, feeling the warmth of your skin. While you were reading the book, Vincent was examining every detail of your face, most likely planning to create the best wax statue in his collection.

#vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #slashers x reader

[crazycoke-addict]

Unpopular Opinion: Lindsay is smarter than Courtney

I know what you're thinking how can the girl who forgot her boyfriend's name than the girl who was running for student council president and is a CIT. If you watched the show again, you can understand where I'm coming from. There are evidence of Lindsay being self-aware and even things that Courtney could've used as an advantage.The most important thing I need to mentioned is that Total Drama is a incanon reality tv show that is watched by millions around the world. When a camper gets eliminated and goes to the resort, it is heavily implied that they do watch the show. Noah mentions Leshawna locking Heather in the freezer while Ezekiel who was first to be eliminated mentions how bossy Heather was even though he never got see that side of her.

Courtney is eliminated before Lindsay, so like everyone else, it is possible she at least watch the episode That's off the chain and notices that Lindsay has intelligence involving mechanical stuff. She watched Lindsay create both her and Heather’s bike in good condition. I have a headcannon that Lindsay's father taught her how to fixed cars and she probably told Heather in which Heather had the information in her head just in case. Lindsay does help Heather with a lot of things prior but something like this, you would think that Heather wouldn't trust Lindsay to make her bike. One of the things that I believe you have to have intelligence is that you pay attention. Heather listen to Lindsay when she said she was good building bikes and mechanics so when the challenge involved around bikes, Heather remembered and used it as an advantage. If Courtney was pay attention, she would have that information store somewhere in her brain. Of course, Courtney and everyone else weren't aware that there was going to be a second season, it's best to keep a certain information because you never know that it would be useful.

During the half of Total Drama Action, Courtney watching from the sidelines due to not be able to compete in the show. Courtney files a lawsuit where she wins and is allowed to compete in the show. I actually wanted to make my own version by fixing Courtney's character. Courtney is placed in the killer Grips which is the team that Lindsay is in. While they were missing some parts, this was the perfect time where Courtney mentions Lindsay building a bikes and suggested that Lindsay build the go kart and tells everyone what they need to do. Will they loose? Probably. But it would show that Courtney has been paying attention. But Courtney doesn't do that because she wasn't pay attention to the last season.

She was mostly focused on her elimination and was complaining that she should be final 5 instead of Gwen because Gwen wasn't a team player even though Gwen caused her team to win 4 times while Courtney made her team loose 2 times. During Total Drama Action, Courtney belittles Lindsay's intelligence. Before Courtney's return and even after, Lindsay does show intelligence and helps her team out. She pretty much becomes the leader for her team after Trent's elimination. During the horror challenge, Lindsay puts her foot down and tells her teammates that Beth is their serial killer since she can't scream and also knew what was real or not. Killer Grips do loose but they could've won the first challenge, if Justin scream but he didn't want to get his pipes strained. Lindsay was helping her team out and yet they called her bossy.

While the killer grips do win after Courtney's return, majority of the times, she is going against Duncan whom is distracted by her. If she goes against someone like Leshawna, the killer grips would loose.When they merge, Courtney and Lindsay wins the first merge challenge. During the first 3 merge challenges, Courtney wins invincibility. In the Get a clue episode, Lindsay ends up getting invincibility this time. During the episode, nobody is listening to Lindsay and Courtney is insulting her. Even though in the first part of the challenge, Chris was locked in a vault, Lindsay ended up being right when Chris is found "Dead". It seems like the second part of the challenge where they have to collect samples from the other contestants was actually to make the person be the murderer and Courtney whose so hell bent on getting invincibility and also calling Lindsay 'dumb' is what made her loose this challenge.

In Total Drama world tour, Courtney is on superior team. Courtney along with Gwen wins for team Amazon in London despite not catching the jack the ripper person. Seirra helps them win the challenges in Egypt, Japan and Germany. Heather helps them win in New York and Germany. Cody helps them win in Japan. The new York episode, Team Amazon win because Heather switch the baby carriage. Courtney believes that they wouldn't loose but Team Chris is really really really really hot was first until they notice the carriage wasn't theirs causing them to go back where they ended up in last challenge luckily it was an reward challenge. Team Victory finally wins a challenge and Lindsay is the reason why. Now let's say that Courtney was on the same team and it plays the same with Lindsay suggesting that they go left and they win. Courtney's opinion on Lindsay isn't going to change because she'll think that she is the dumb blonde.

In the episode Can't stop falling in louvre, Lindsay built The Thinker all by herself and did a really good job. While Courtney and her team were struggling a bit on theirs. Now granted, Team Chris is reallyx4 hot and team Amazon did get the pieces of their respective statues in the pile so if Lindsay was in that situation than she too would struggle a bit. However the fact that team Amazon didn't realise that the legs aren't arms is something. The reason why Team Victory is because of DJ and his ridiculous animal curse. Also I think Lindsay's elimination was calculated. It seems like Chris chooses one person from the other two teams, Heather knows fashion but Owen doesn’t.

You know how I said paying attention is a good form intelligence. Well, despite being on opposite team's in Island. Lindsay appeared to be paying attention to the campers interaction with Courtney. In. While Courtney is complaining about her unfair elimination and believes she should be in the final five. Lindsay tells her that she probably be eliminated in another episode because nobody likes Courtney. This shocks Courtney. While this could just Lindsay having no filter but the fact that Lindsay can tells that many campers aren't big fans of Courtney. Lindsay paying attention to what people think of her is in Total Drama All Stars.

In the first episode, Heroes Vs villains, Lindsay is the first person to be eliminated and acts cartoonishly dumb, but you rewatched this episode, you notice that Lindsay only acts dumb around certain people and one of them is mainly Courtney since they are both on the heroes team. Whenever the teams have to choose a person to do something like how in the first challenge of Total Drama All Stars, they have to choose somebody to push the carriage. Courtney being the impatient person she is chooses Lindsay. This is the dumbest choice Courtney has ever made. In my opinion, I think that either Courtney or Seirra should've been one to push the carriage. Lindsay says that she doesn't know how to push a carriage even though she does. I believe that Lindsay wanted her team to loose so she can get eliminated first. When Seirra runs over to the carriage, Courtney is still in the carriage where she jumps on her and Lindsay knows this. The reason why she never says anything is because Courtney was mean to her. The only person I think would know that Lindsay is trying to make her team loose is Heather.

So that's why I think Lindsay is smarter than Courtney.

#total drama all stars #total drama action #total drama island #total drama world tour #total drama lindsay #total drama courtney

[hostileheart]

All to tell (John Phillips X (fem) reader)

second FF upload to tumblr if you have any suggestions let me know thank you// to sum this one up you both work as interns at your father's company and it seems that he knows more about you than you anticipated TW for heavy sexual content and non-con elements

You lived in upstate Maryland for as long as you could remember, traveling briskly for your family's work related reasons or for a blissful summer holiday. You yourself never got out much at all, surrounded by the comfort of your home and your private college. Despite living in one place for that amount of time you still found yourself unsociable, purely out of choice. It was a rare occurrence to make conversation with anyone your age about any non school related subjects. There was no real reason to, having a one track mind makes it easy to accomplish what you wanted to. Which was exactly why your father had chosen you over your brother to take an internship at the company he was employed at. You felt dubiously guilty about the endeavor, most of the people starting an internship at the business were sons of other wealthy, dull, like minded middle aged men. On the eve of your first day you pondered to yourself about all the opportunities this could open for you, what type of impression you were going to make upon your father’s coworkers, your mind strains at the mere thought of the possible creepy touchy older men whose eyes would pin you down as you were simply trying to file paperwork, when they would make that so sickening small talk people do. Rest assured if anything was to happen you could leave whenever you pleased.

The next morning came too soon, as most Saturdays do good or not. Taking your time in the dawn of the morning to get ready and to leave promptly at 7:45 am. The car ride was silent as most times no matter the occasion are entirely. Arriving at the front doors of the company you noticed how everyone had said hello to your father with a sense of high respect, understanding why due to his high position, however not truly understanding why. You were introduced to his team members, then promptly placed into a room with other interns. Young men are already standing up to introduce themselves to try and be friendly. This sickened you, you despised it all, not being able to tell if their intentions were pure or not, this reminded you of intermediate school all over again. you briefly waved to them in a somewhat friendly way to signal you didn’t wish to be bothered. There was one young man who did not stand up to introduce himself, however had been staring at you the entire time. He seemed too familiar however you could not place a name to his face at that given moment. In order to figure out his name you put a plan in action, within the next five minutes you would use the restroom, it being down the hall from his desk. Why would you put this amount of effort just to find out a man’’s name? You didn't know why entirely it made you feel ill to a degree.

Five minutes passed and you stood up walking slowly, passing his desk, eyeing his name plate which was engraved in silver John Phillips. It hit you then that you had met him on numerous occasions, your fathers knowing each other well. However you were to never speak to him directly on your own accord. Reality came crashing back as you found yourself stopped for a moment in front of his desk spacing out for as it seemed no reason, his eyes on you the entire time not saying anything back. You collect yourself and walk into the women's restroom. Covering your mouth as you stood in front of the mirror, he looked so different from the last time you saw him, his eyes still soft yet his gaze was completely solidified. It almost aroused you, you smiled to yourself trying to control your own thoughts.

he liked you. Oh, he really fucking adored you. He liked the way you walked, and how your voice sounded. He liked how you looked when you had no idea he was watching. His watching had gone on for months, as a matter of fact you interning here was all a part of his plan recommending you to his father for the open position, John knew way too much about you more than what was comfortable.  He liked how quiet and lonesome you were, and he liked to think he could one day own you, to be the only person in the entire world to know and understand your deepest thoughts and feelings. 

As you were in the restroom he laughed to himself, slipping his hands in his pockets, knowing that this was only the beginning of his plan. Normally he would not put this amount of effort into anything, this type of behavior being completely foreign to himself he savored it constantly thinking about his new found interest, his newfound obsession. He utterly adored every part of you. He craved to know more about you. It pained him how silent you are.

You walked out the restroom after two minutes, just standing in front of the mirror adjusting your hair and lipstick. You once again pass by his desk, however something grabs onto your wrist, you look down immediately and low and behold it was John. Your eyes squint as you look up at him, quickly pulling away from his grasp. “y/n, was it?” you look around before answering with a nod “I’m John, John Phillips, we had met before at a couple of company dinners, anyway if you need any assistance with anything i’ll be around and might I add that you made quite the impression.” He smiles before composing himself, “thank you” you say with a soft tone. You smile to yourself, as you sit down quickly continuing your paperwork for another hour before your father’s assistant comes in and directs you to run down to the copy room and file something for the security office. “And John Phillips will be directing you to the security office once you file all ten copies which shouldn’t take too long.” His assistant spits out before quickly leaving you to file,

John walks up to you and says “Here send me five so we can get this done quicker” He says placing his hand on the back of your chair, you feel his long dark brown hair draping over your head. You groan to yourself “Sure thank you” you send him the documents and sure enough within the next seven minutes you both were finished with the files. You look back at him as he stands up with the papers in hand and he walks over to you, you notice the way he walks, making you grin so different from the rest of the guys who had worked here, way less formal. “Ready?” you ask him as he walks over to you “Yep yep”

a tensed silence fills the air around you two, he speaks up again “ Still in high school?” you shake your head in disagreement “Graduated last year, started a private college recently.. What about you?” he looks over at you and nods “ Yeah in my last year now, well what college?” you bite your lip before answering, debating if you should tell him or not “uhh.. John Hopkins University” John Smiles and looks over to you “ Oh really? I applied over there, what's it like?” you watch his facial expressions wisely, “Just as you would expect” you sigh

You look up at the door title starting ‘SECURITY ROOM’ “we’re here it seems.” you state as you reach for the door handle, he quickly opens the door for you allowing you to walk in front of him, he shuts the door behind you two locking it without your knowledge. You try to flip the light switch, he watches you “So the lights don’t work in here they never fix it apparently it makes it easier to look at the computer screens, and most times nobody is in here unless it’s a PM shift the paperwork we have is for the PM shift” he states. “ I see okay, how often do they have you do this” you question, “ not too often” he answers quickly, drawing his eyes away from your frame.

You can’t make out John's facial expression or tell his body language the dim computer screen light in the background only outlining both of your bodies.

John had slipped his hand in his pocket palming his bulge softly, his dick hard, your breath being rapid from the tension of the moment, the silence filled the air other than your own breath, thinking of things to speak about you walk around the room in the darkness and stare at the computer screen and the things scattered across the desk. “They keep it rather messy here, don't they?” John doesn’t answer. A minute of silence, any minute more would make you want to leave. You look around to your sides obviously not seeing him, He then presses himself against your backside, leaning his head over your shoulder and tilting it in the direction of your face. “It’s dark in here for a reason y/n” You don’t move, you can’t even if you wish. His touch against your skin made your body shake in fear, your mind absent as he was too. “I know you remember me, don’t you?” he whispers directly into your ear. “What if I don’t” your lips quivering as you fearfully turn to him.

It’s not like you weren’t enjoying it, as a matter of fact, you adored every second of it, you’ve thought about this since the first time you saw him years ago. “I’ll make you remember me” he grins as he places his hand around your throat, turning his head to yours to get a better peak of your face. "Why are you doing this John?" You spat out, voice shaky. He answered you by shoving his hand beneath your tight pencil skirt and under the constricting material of your tights. You quickly shut your eyes as you felt his fingers on the fabric of your thong. He presses his hardened dick against your ass. His fingers pushed past your underwear and dragged along your core. You attempted to look away from him, but John's grip on your throat brought you back. "Don't look away, now," he laughed at you.

You observed his face as he fit his fingers inside of you. Your hands reached for his throat. You didn't try to throw him off of you, you just held onto him as he fingered you. His fingers stretched you out painfully. You could feel tears stinging your eyes as he pushed in and out."So tight", he commented, grinning and teasing you.

He tore his fingers from you and leaned forwards to kiss you. You could feel the ends of his hair falling on your face. His erection rubbed against your ass aggressively. You wanted to spit at him, bite him, do something, but you weren't sure how that would turn out for you.

John pulled your skirt down as far as he could. You could hear his belt buckle jingling as you anticipated him. As you waited, you could feel the skin around your throat getting sore from John's hand, he leaned over and ripped open your tights with one motion. He fumbled with his boxers, his dick slipping out of them quickly. He slides himself between your thighs, never inserting himself inside. You muffle out moans from his sweaty and salvia-covered hand. “I know you need it, don’t you” he whispers into your ear, he tightens his grip around your throat. You nod, turning away in embarrassment, your breathing heavy and knees weak. “Say it then.” you shake your head looking down, “Please…please John I can’t” You turn away from his gaze, “Too fucking bad whore.” He chuckles and pushes you away from him against the desk, he conceals himself by zipping up his pants. He grabs your chin and pulls you close, almost spitting in your face. “If you tell anyone about this I’ll tell management, and your father just about what a whore you are for getting off at work. “I won’t I’m sorry” You whisper out in fear as you step towards him grabbing his hands softly, his disposition softens as you look up at him. He walks over to you and grabs your chin and plants a kiss on your forehead and wipes away your tears, pulling you into his arms. This became a thing you two did every time you both were there at the same time, sneaking away but never actually fucking. It was killing you, it was killing him. You began to admire him slowly, this admiration was picked up by the other interns who oftentimes would tease you both about it.

One night, you were alone walking back from a cafe late at night. You were a completely oblivious woman you never once noticed him. He observed you unlock the door to your house, which was close to St. John’s private boy’s Academy, with your key. He glanced at you as you closed the door as he passed your street. There were no cars in the driveway. You were home alone weren’t you? Oh, how easy it would be to just to.. break in. John couldn't help but get aroused at thinking of all the things he could be doing to you right at that moment.

He'd been watching you all day. He saw you shower, a red flush across your body as you stepped out of the hot water. He saw you shift into pajamas and do your classwork. Everything was going according to plan. He slowly made his way through your home, guessing where your room was. His feet were creaking on the floor, and by the way, your TV turned off, you had heard him. He opened the door, only to be greeted by your fearful expression. “John! What are you doing here?” you look at him in shock “You left the door open princess, could've been dangerous. Don’t worry I locked it for you” He grinned as he stepped towards the edge of your bed frame. Looking around your room, he looks back at you. “Cool shit you got,” he says as he sits down next to you. “Thanks John” You sheepishly whisper out. You eye him down looking at his attire, casual rich guy’s son bullshit but paired with a silly graphic tee which made complete sense for him. “I’ve missed you in more ways than one,” he says, getting up and then laying over you “John..” you sigh nervously, your body shaking with anticipation “We shouldn’t”. He tilts his head, his long hair falling over your face, he tilts your chin up. “Nobody is home and I came all this way don’t back out now”.

He says as he bites into your neck holding you down by your shoulders. You whimper in pain, as he rubs his erection against your leg, you unbuckle his belt and unzip his boxers. He quickly removes your top revealing that you weren’t wearing a bra, how exciting. He grips your breast tightly, admiring your body with every touch. John doesn’t waste any time, shoving his fingers inside of you pumping them in and out rapidly, this alone was enough to get you off, but John knew it wasn’t enough for him.You felt abruptly vacant as he pulled his slim fingers away from you. You practically whined before you felt his mouth prodding at your entry. His hand pressed against the side of your thigh, gripping it tightly as he looked up at you “John"! You moaned as his mouth worked wonders.

He was eating you out like he was starved. His tongue was moving eagerly and his finger was pressing harder into your clit..your climax building up. You were simply... right there.

"J-John"! You cried out. "I- I-- fuck"!

He was moving his tongue faster if possible, his gentle dark eyes trained on you. You bit the inside of your cheek, hips convulsing as you came, he licked the inside of your thigh before removing himself from between your hips.

 He grabs your shoulders as you both stand up he pushes you onto your knees shoving the finger he used to fuck you with inside your mouth, his dick slapping your forehead “suck my fucking dick whore.” you obey shyly as you grab the base of it, deepthroating it slowly, your eyes water with tears as you push it inside your mouth as much as you can. He looks down at you and pushes his hair out of his face whimpering softly as you wrap your lips and tongue around him,, he grips on to your hair and pulls you away, then quickly pushes you onto your stomach against the edge of the bed. He grabbed your hips instantaneously, pressing his tip against your entrance, you felt him shove himself inside you quickly, he began to fuck you, his metal rings digging into the sides of your hips, sure to leave a mark “Such a good slut for me” he chuckled as he thrust into you roughly and slowly, flipping you over to face him quickly he grabs your hips and pushes your legs closer to him, grabbing one of them and putting it over his shoulder Your toes curled and your eyes rolled back into your head .John watched intently, feeling you clench and convulse around his cock. He felt his orgasm approaching and feeling you fall limp beneath him was the breaking point. John kept a close eye on you as you seemed out of breath as your feet curled and your eyes rolled up into your head, he watched you helplessly squirm underneath him this was his breaking point, he groaned in pain and in arousal, his hair and body shaking as he thrusts into you rapidly, releasing his hot cum inside of you. “You're mine” He groans out and falls to your side  grabbing your cheek and kissing you softly “and i’m yours” He whispers out before, cleaning you up and getting dressed. “I’ll see you again y/n” he smiles before exiting out of your window and heading back to his dorm. This was for sure a score for his loser stoner virgin ass.

#wiley wiggins #john phillips #mitch kramer x reader #dazed and confused

[theladyofbloodshed]

I have read almost all of your fics and I adore how you write Nesta. I really appreciate how you have handled her character in you Neris, Nezriel, and now Jurian x Nesta (Jursta? Can’t be Nesian) fics and I’m so glad you have kept her as a center in your fics ❤️ and so since you’re someone that I feel understands Nesta’s character, what are your thoughts on Feyre? I’m curious because the word abuse is often thrown around alot when it comes to Feyre and Nesta. I personally don’t give the time of day to Elain, Mor, and Rhys stans that are anti Nesta because no real case can be made but with Feyre? It is tricky. Anyways I’m humbly asking for your thoughts on Nesta and Feyre sister dynamic. Thanks so much for your content 😊

Thank you so much for the nice words. Nesta is my number one 🧡 I hope you are ready for a 10,000 word essay *cracks knuckles*

I find this so complicated.

At the beginning of Acotar, Nesta is almost comically wicked. It’s like a pantomime. Randomly sniping at Feyre at how bad she smells. But then I think, well she has been hunting in the woods so probably does? The cold outdoors has a really specific smell when somebody comes in. We know Nesta doesn’t mince her words. But it is such a randomly rude thing to say. (As somebody who is the youngest of 4, i wish saying we smelt was the worst insult slung).

I don’t doubt that they had many issues growing up. They were all in a terrible situation. I doubt any of them are innocent and didn’t argue back. It’s difficult to analyse their relationship because it’s so tangled with their other family members.

Feyre hunted due to the promise to their mother and because she had the bravery to learn. But she also had minimal time with their mother, she says she is the strangest child because she was born on the longest night of the year, and we know Feyre was left to her own devices a lot hence not being able to read and having to teach herself to swim. She was the only sister capable of learning to hunt. Feyre was neglected a lot as a child which was not Nesta’s fault, but if she saw that her eldest sister was her mother’s favourite and her middle was her father’s then yes she likely feels quite jaded.

Nesta spent the most time with wealth and their mother. She was primed to be a good little wife for the longest time. Even if she wasn’t stubborn enough to starve, there is no way Nesta would have been able to find that spirit to head off into the woods and learn to hunt. It’s so “unfeminine”. She even hates wearing pants in acosf. I just don’t see any way Nesta would have taught herself to hunt. She isn’t as daring as Feyre.

Father

The biggest neglect came from their father. He is abusive.

Nesta gets the heat for not hunting but not once is any blame put on him by the ic etc. And not just for that. Okay, he cannot walk. Physically was unable to hunt. But he was too proud to work in other ways. He was called the prince of merchants. We assume he was well educated - or at least could read. So why didn’t he teach his daughters when he could give them nothing else? Why did he not teach Feyre to read - why does Nesta get the blame for it? Why didn’t he find work that didn’t require physical exertion? He apparently had absolutely no contacts as a merchant, whose job was trading goods, who was willing to offer him help or work. Nobody was willing to help a widow with three young daughters? He had no friends or acquaintances? Feyre gets so close at one point to acknowledging his failures; I think it’s when she said that Nesta was realistic and didn’t fill their heads with talk of regaining wealth like the father.

He puts a massive strain on their relationship because Nesta is trying to spur him into action whereas Feyre is ensuring they don’t starve so he has no reason to act. Nesta is angry that Feyre is not helping her plan. Feyre is angry Nesta is not helping her.

Nesta gets blamed for things that their father could have done - teaching/providing. Feyre is the one who has told her story to the IC and obviously has not put any blame on her father when she’s told the story, further twisting her and Nesta’s relationship.

Elain

I don’t know why Elain seems like the baby by a good number of years but she does. For some reason, Nesta chose to be her protector. If you’ve ever hung out in a group of 3, it ends up being 2+1 and that’s the family dynamic we have. Poor Feyre is always the one left out. Nesta always chooses Elain. She will always choose Elain. Until acosf when Elain turns her back on her and chooses Feyre because it’s safer. For Nesta, it’s unfair and a massive betrayal because she spent so much time caring for Elain - and when she needed someone to lean on, Elain moved to Feyre. Not Feyre’s fault but I can see how Nesta would read it that way. And for Feyre she probably feels glad that she is being picked for once.

Elain was also in the cabin, also knew how to read and is only a year younger than Nesta. The fact she is never held accountable to the same level as Nesta for not hunting/teaching must really piss Nesta off. And it drives yet another wedge between Nesta and Feyre.

The IC/Rhys

Thanks to Feyre already telling her new family about her sisters, the ic meet them with prejudice. Elain is given a bit of a pass but Nesta is already the villain. Not the father. We never hear any of them criticise the father - even though they all have terrible fathers themselves and should be able to empathise with Feyre and her sisters.

When Cassian and Rhys meet Nesta, she is public enemy number one despite forcing themselves into her home (Feyre makes her host them, even says to them she’ll make Nesta contact the queens) despite it putting Nesta and Elain’s position in jeopardy. At this point, Nesta is trying to protect Elain’s relationship with Graysen. Upon meeting her for the first time, Rhys says he can never forgive Nesta. No issue with Elain or the father. Later when Feyre asks him to let it go, he still refuses to but “Elain is Elain”. It’s unfair.

Because Feyre and Nesta have such a strained relationship, it affects everybody else’s view of Nesta. They knew Feyre first and believe her. They side with her. Rhys flies so fast she vomits and he finds it funny. Nesta expresses concern over Cassian and Mor tells her to keep her forked tongue behind her teeth. Nesta is never allowed to be soft or vulnerable with them because they always have their hackles up around her - then she loses her home and humanity and gets sucked into their life where Feyre is at the centre of their universe and can do no wrong. Nesta feels even more pushed out and unwanted. It’s not Feyre’s fault but when Feyre tries to change things, Rhys won’t forgive Nesta.

To me, it was not abuse. Nesta was an angry, hurt girl who had lost her mother, her home, and her future. Her anger came out through lashing out. It wasn’t just at Feyre. She thought she was too good for the village. She looked down on them all. She was cruel to the father. She even snaps at Elain. There isn’t a power imbalance between her and Feyre when they’re mortal. Nesta wasn’t doing it to gain anything. She didn’t feel better as a result. She was just lashing out constantly. Was it nice? No. Does she massively regret it? Yes. Part of growing up is looking back and thinking “I really wasn’t the best I could have been back then”.

But their relationship isn’t all completely miserable or Feyre doing everything. Nesta shows her love through actions and in acotar she displays it in many ways:

Nesta chops wood at the start. Once Feyre asks her to and the second time she does it of her own accord.

When Elain is begging Feyre for money, Nesta reprimands her for it.

When Feyre returns from Prythian, Elain and their father host a ball and all these suitors come after Feyre for her money. At no point are they ever chastised for not really missing Feyre and seeing her as a cash cow. What happened during the ball? Nesta stayed by Feyre’s side all night protecting her from unwanted suitors.

Elain complains that Nesta has freaked out all of her friends by being miserable and withdrawn - because she knew that Feyre had been taken by Tamlin and it affected her deeply.

Nesta saw through the glamour and hired the mercenary to try and get to the wall to bring Feyre home despite being scared of the mercenary (because her and Elain were once robbed by one) and faeries.

She asks Feyre to teach her how to paint and while she does that, she wants to Feyre’s story.

Nesta encourages her to write when she returns from finding Tamlin. She sees Feyre off. Their father is counting money in his study and doesn’t even come to say goodbye but nothing is even mentioned about that.

These things are forgotten about by some feysand stans. It upsets me a lot that Feyre and Nesta’s relationship ends on a high note in acotar then the next time they meet, Feyre is surprised that Nesta won’t let her in with 3 faeries. Nesta knew she’d let her sister go back to Prythian during a time of danger then heard nothing for months. She was likely worried sick. But Feyre doesn’t care about that because she has a new family and needs to win their love. Despite the horrific months she spent UTM, she doesn’t share that with the IC - but instead tells them about Nesta.

There is now a massive power imbalance between the two sisters. Feyre is high lady, she’s wealthy and Nesta is essentially at her mercy. She has nowhere else to go. They don’t have a sisterly bond because Feyre is her provider, her employer, her land lord, her queen. Along with Rhys who doesn’t like nesta. Nesta essentially lost her home because Feyre told ianthe all about her. The ic entered their lives and rhys promised to have guards there round the clock but they still were turned fae. And then Feyre went back to spring and Nesta was left alone in an unfamiliar court with strangers trying to take care of Elain. It’s a massive change and she likely feels very angry with Feyre and hurt.

And yet again, Nesta and Feyre never have any time alone to be sisters. Feyre will always choose Rhys over spending time with anybody else. One of the best scenes for me is when the three sisters huddle together for sleep when elain is rescued. You can see how much they love each other in that scene when Nesta beats Rhys to hug Feyre and is sobbing then they all sleep cuddled up. It’s so tender and they need time to actually get to know each other when they’re not angry or starving.

I think at their core they’re quite similar. Neither has ever been loved enough. Feyre is desperate to be loved and latches onto anybody who gives her attention. Nesta doesn’t trust that anybody does genuinely love her so pushes it away rather than lets it in.

Tldr; they have a strained relationship that isn’t helped by others interfering and affecting it. Feyre and Nesta need to spend time together alone and get to know each other with other people butting out.

#anon asks

[arotechno]

Jughead (2015), Aromanticism and Representation Part 2: Zdarsky, North, and the Word of God

When I reviewed Zdarsky and North’s arcs in the Jughead (2015) comics, I noted the differences between their portrayals of Jughead’s aromanticism. Namely, Zdarsky’s work is a lot more subtle but ultimately feels like it was written specifically with aromanticism in mind, whereas North’s work is more on-the-nose but is sometimes grating or uncomfortable when it comes to the reactions of other characters. I want to talk a bit more about that here, and then I want to talk about canonization and the value of word-of-god representation.

Firstly, Zdarsky. Chip Zdarsky is credited with canonizing Jughead’s asexuality on the page, and his aromanticism via the word of god. Ryan North stayed true to this portrayal when he picked up the series following the conclusion of Zdarsky’s run.

If you’ll recall, the vast majority of Zdarsky’s run (the first six of eight issues) do not pay much attention to Jughead’s orientation at all, although this section does contain the first (and only) textual use of the word “asexual” in the entire series. This would make most folks inclined to believe that Zdarsky did not consider it at all, but I personally am more than okay with not every story factoring in Jughead’s orientation, and the arc he did write on the topic (issues 7­-8) more than makes up for it in my opinion. This is the arc where Jughead and Archie get lost camping, and the following exchange takes place:

I have written at length about this scene in particular, so I will be brief in noting the following:

(1) Jughead’s hurt is palpable, and beautifully portrayed. Whereas other writers may have played such an exchange for laughs, Zdarsky validates Jughead’s feelings of abandonment, hurt, and isolation in this arc, while managing not to villainize Archie in the process.

(2) Archie not only knows immediately that he fucked up, but very quickly apologizes. His actions are not justified, and his reaction suggests that not only is he aware of Jughead’s orientation, but he respects it and him enough to make amends for hurting his best friend.

(3) Never is Jughead being aroace mentioned explicitly here, but to any reader paying attention, it comes off quite obviously. If you take Jughead being aroace as an implicit truth about his character, which is the way Zdarsky confirmed he was writing him, it becomes abundantly clear that this is what Archie refers to when he uses the phrase “a normal guy,” and that this is the source of their inability to understand each other and the strain it is having on their friendship.

Now, when Ryan North took over, he accepted Zdarsky’s canonization as gospel and ran with it, a fact for which I am quite thankful. His primary arc is the one with Sabrina, in which Jughead accidentally agrees to a date with his newfound friend and has to figure out how he is going to explain the misunderstanding—or, better yet, just keep trying to escape her affections until the problem magically (ha) goes away.

North is much more explicit about Jughead being aromantic, while still not using the word. Jughead uses phrases like “I don’t get crushes” and “I don’t like people that way,” and visibly panics over the realization that he accidentally agreed to a for-real date.

These scenes are really great, and the time that North took to put Jughead in a situation that directly required addressing his aromanticism is incredibly valuable. However, there are aspects of North’s portrayal that bother me. To summarize my previous thoughts on the matter:

(1) North depicts the situation with a lot of nuance, being certain to address the ways in which Jughead is screwing up while also validating his very real feelings. The ultimate resolution is heartwarming and satisfying in that Jughead is finally able to be honest with Sabrina, and Sabrina accepts and supports him wholeheartedly, allowing them to finally be friends.

(2) However, Jughead’s existing friends are woefully unhelpful every step of the way. Of course, this is in many ways realistic; many aros have people in their lives who are quick to dismiss their aromanticism the moment they feel it might no longer be true. With Archie, this borders on a continuity error—but that is the cost of switching writers so frequently. But the issue is that his friends are never prompted by the narrative to apologize. They meddle and push Jughead into going through with the date without ever listening to what he wants—something he comments on—and the only character who gets a resolution on this front is Sabrina, by necessity.

(3) North being clearly unafraid of expressing Jughead’s aromanticism is refreshing, but the lack of accountability on his friends is kind of uncomfortable, and it makes it hard to play those moments for laughs.

Which of these is better? Which has more value? The truth is I think that either arc being removed from the story would be to its detriment, and in a perfect world we’d have gotten the best of both portrayals in one. However, it is worth pointing out the differences between them for the sake of acknowledging that representation can be done in different ways, each with their own costs and benefits. Zdarsky’s portrayal cuts deep and shows a more subtle portrayal of aromanticism as it affects relationships, but that subtlety means that aromanticism is taking more of a backseat focus. Meanwhile, North’s portrayal is much more on-the-nose and is expressed much more obviously, but it leaves something to be desired in terms of how it holds other characters accountable.

Both, however, have something very crucial in common. And this is that neither Chip Zdarsky nor Ryan North ever used the word “aromantic” on the page.

Three years ago, I spoke at length about this for the Carnival of Aros, and I expressed distrust that someone like Zdarsky would have ever thought about Jughead’s romantic orientation without having been prompted first. That may be true, but nevertheless on subsequent rereads I’ve softened on that position somewhat. Perhaps we don’t know if either of them would have eventually used the word on the page had they gotten more time, or if later writers (not Waid lol) would have had the series not been discontinued. There is a universe in which we eventually got an on-the-page confirmation with a satisfying emotional journey to boot, but sadly we live in a universe where R*verdale became more popular and Archie Comics stopped producing Jughead comics several years ago, and that is the reality I went into this (already incredibly long) post intending to contend with.

Zdarsky once said via Twitter that he was writing Jughead as, for the purposes of his teen years, aromantic, and that he sees him as probably demiromantic later in life. I still don’t know how I feel about that comment, and I suppose I will let demiromantic people decide that one. In any case, the fact is that Zdarsky never used the word on the page, and North never did either. But my question is, how much does it matter?

The short answer is that of course it matters. On-the-page confirmation with the words explicitly used leaves no room for misinterpretation, increases awareness of the identity, and is super important for communities like ours in particular that have next to nothing in that regard. Using the word on the page would have been huge in 2015 and it would still be huge now. But it was 2015. And for 2015, Zdarsky gave us a pretty good start.

Yes, it matters. But representation being confirmed via the word of god does not necessarily make it bad representation. In fact, I think Jughead is stellar aroace representation, especially for teenagers. To say, in any respect, that such an icon of pop culture is aspec and to then go on to work that into your story, even if the words never make it onto the page, holds a lot of cultural power, and in fact Zdarsky made a lot of people mad with this. If given the hypothetical choice, which would you rather have? A character like Jughead, a main character in his own series that actually has his aromanticism addressed and portrayed with respect but is never written out directly, or a character who is confirmed on-screen as aromantic with the words but is a side character whose aromanticism is never important and only exists for tokenized representation brownie points? Every time someone recommends something with an aro character to me, I’m like, does it matter? Are they important, is their aromanticism important, or are they just an exasperated shipper-on-deck side character who the creators can slap a pride flag edit on? Because the truth is I’d rather have Jughead. Sure, I’d rather have it all, but I can’t. So in the absence of such perfection, I’ll take word-of-god canon with respect and impact and good intentions over tokenism.

To be clear: I am not trying to praise Zdarsky and North outright for what should be the bare minimum in staying true and faithful to decades of pre-existing characterization. In fact, I do still believe that to not use the word aromantic on the page was cowardly, and I wish they had done it, and I wish we’d gotten more Jughead comics to see what else we could have gotten as the years went on. But what we did get, for all its flaws, has value, and I’m probably never going to be done talking about it. Though I am, for now. This essay is long enough already.

#hi to the person who told me to ramble more i hope this is what you meant #techno's jughead reread #aro #aromantic #aro representation #jughead #jughead comics #aro jughead #aroace jughead #jughead 2015 #long post #op