#who else excited for april 27 (fear in my eyes)

[socvinc]

she hanni on my gram till i mass homicide

#hannigram #hannibal lecter #hannibal fanart #nbc hannibal #will graham #will graham fanart #murder husbands #hannibal lecter fanart #who else excited for april 27 (fear in my eyes) #hannibal #socvinc #my art #sketches

[passable-talent]

ya boi is back with a new niche character played by hayden christensen for yall to enjoy.

CW: blood, wounds, cursing, piercings, tattoos, guns, fighting, deaths of unnamed characters

AJ x gn!reader - Takers (2010). the stupid hat grew on me.

dedicated as always to @haydens-moles and @iscariot-rising for being my friends and for appreciating hayden as much as I do

The story of your life, as you loved to explain it, boiled down to a little math joke. Excited five, you called it, or it’s official terminology- five factorial. Written as “5!”, hence the awful pun.

“Factorials,” you’d say, “for those that don’t remember, are a multiplication of every number up to the one that’s being discussed. As such, five factorial is five, times four, times three, times two, times one.”

Your life, your excited five, was as follows: five major scars, four tattoos, three piercings, two eyebrow slits.

“The one is usually ignored,” you’d say, “as it makes no multiplicative difference. That’s why I don’t have a ‘one’.”

In August, 2009, you got your ‘one’. Its a doozy. But we’re not there yet.

~~~

Five major scars.

December 25, 1983. It’s your first Christmas. Your parents think you’re just being a cranky infant, but something way more serious is going on- they find out the next day that you’ve got RSV, a respiratory virus that’s especially dangerous for infants. You spend the next three years periodically using a ventilator whenever the coughing acts up. You don’t remember much of it, other than the vaguely crayon-looking piece of the machine, but you can’t forget that it happened, due to the pretty white scar over the bridge of your nose. It’s not such a gnarly wound as it is a reminder- not of the ventilator that wore through your skin thanks to frequent use, but of the virus that almost took your life only a few months after it had begun.

July 28, 1993. You’re seven years old, staying at your grandmother’s house with your cousin, who’s six months older than you. You’re playing cops and robbers- he’s the cop. The forest streaks by as you run the length of the property, slightly faster than him, but he catches you and throws you down. You land on your back on a jagged rock, not only painfully impacting your spine but digging deeply into your muscles beside it. It was the first hospital visit you remember, and the dark, long scar halfway between your tailbone and your shoulders reminds you never to fall without controlling it.

January 15, 1998. You’re in sophomore year of high school, and not the most popular. You like to play by the rules, and some asshole junior decides that he doesn’t like the way you won’t let him cheat off of your trigonometry homework, and decides that a knife is the best way to settle the problem. Those homework answers weren’t worth the long white line over all four of the knuckles of your left hand, but it is a pretty little reminder that lowlifes do what they want. And law enforcement, or whatever your school called the ‘anti-bullying league’, does jack shit about it.

October 30, 2002. You’re almost done with your certification to become a cop- thank god. You couldn’t stand the people who were to become your graduate class. They were so ready to become cops just to bully people, just to get to weild an iron fist and hide their bloodlust behind the law. Not you- you’re here to do some real good. That’s what they don’t like about you. And that’s why Fred Young splits open your cheek when just he’s supposed to be practicing his sparring. It’s an ugly scar, needed six stitches, but it’s a reminder that even the cops aren’t always the good guys.

May 14, 2004. You’re a new cop, working under detective Wells. There’s a robbery of a jewelry store a few blocks from where you’re patrolling, and as you’re making your way to the scene, a man in a fedora runs smack into you, taking you both to the ground. Broken glass digs into your shoulder, but he apologizes, and his blue eyes look so genuine. He’s afraid. You’d not realize until a month later that he wasn’t a scared bystander, but in fact one of the thieves. The fifth of your scars matches your first meeting with AJ- who would, by the end of the summer, become one of the most important people in your life.

~~~

Four tattoos.

August 4, 1999- Left wrist, inside knob of the bone. The little symbol had represented something to you when you were sixteen, but it had long lost whatever meaning you’d given it. Now, it was just a pattern to pass your thumb over whenever you got restless.

February 16, 2002- The cap of the right shoulder. It was your bunk number, from when you were training to be a cop. Nothing extravagant, but it was supposed to represent the beginning of the rest of your life- it was supposed to represent your calling.

June 1, 2004- Left arm, the outside of the forearm. Bleeding from your first tattoo was a new one, the largest one on your body. It was geometrical and high contrast, black lines loosely following your veins up toward your elbow, as though that left hand was bringing darkness into your body. It did- you shot with your left hand.

July 17, 2004- Right collarbone. A single, circular monogram, made up of six letters.

T A K E R S.

~~~

Three piercings.

April 7, 1989. Your father took you to get your ears pierced, but insisted upon arrival that it was too expensive to get both done, so you only got your left. The assymetrical style would have to grow on you- at six years old, you hated it.

May 19, 2003. You couldn’t have piercings at the academy, they were unprofessional, they were dangerous. So the night of graduation, you went out and got a hole punched into your nostril- the pain made tears well up, but more than anything, it was the satisfaction of giving a pretty little ‘fuck you’ to your superiors, who you’d never see again.

July 18, 2006. AJ takes you to a fancy beauty salon for an eyebrow bar after hearing maybe once that you’d wanted another piercing. You knew you were in love with him- who else in your life had ever paid such close attention to you?

~~~

Two eyebrow slits.

June 23, 2004. You leave the police force. You tell Wells that it’s because you’re pissed you can’t find the guys that robbed the jewelry store, but that’s not even close to the truth. You’ve found them- hell, you got a good look at one of them on the very day of the robbery. But you’ve done the looking, and didn’t have the heart to bring them in. They had families. They donated ten percent of every heist to a charity. They did more for the community than the police you worked for, and they did it clean- they didn’t hurt anybody, if they didn’t have to. They did what you’d hoped to do, when you joined the force. What you’d never gotten to do. Eyebrow slits were considered extremely unprofessional, so the moment you were free of your two week notice, you split open your right eyebrow. It would give a good balance to the bar piercing you hoped to put through your left someday.

March 4, 2007. You’re cleaning up your slit when AJ walks into the room and stands behind you so that you can see him through the mirror. You keep your eyes on the trimmer you’re so delicately running over your skin, but when he opens up a little felt box with a pretty ring inside, you whirl around with such panic that you make the slit approximately half an inch wider than it should’ve been. Lilli helped you fill in the gap for the engagement photos, but you decided to keep a second slit on the other end of the unfortunate shave- a little reminder of the evening in which he proposed to you.

~~~

“The one is usually ignored,” you’d say, “as it makes no multiplicative difference. That’s why I don’t have a ‘one’.”

On August 27, 2009, you got your ‘one’.

You’d been out of the game for two years, choosing not to take a cut of the winnings. You’d advise, you’d plan, you’d set up, but you did not want to be on site when the heist went down. The boys had it taken care of, and you butted heads with Jesse far too often for anyone’s comfort.

You especially couldn’t work on this project, thanks to a little fucker named Ghost- he didn’t trust you, as a member of the Takers he’d never met, and you didn’t trust him, as a criminal you’d never grown to respect.

You knew that most of them didn’t trust Ghost either, but everything he brought forward checked out- AJ must’ve mumbled the plan thirty times in his sleep in the five days from its suggestion to its fruition. There were no holes. Knowing Gordon and John, they had some ‘insurance’ for Ghost, anyway. In case it went wrong.

Still, you stayed at the Hotel Roosevelt through it all. You were their sitter, keeping the hotel room warm and ready for their arrival. They arrived back one by one- and like usual, AJ got there first. He, Gordon, and John were usually the first to get out, but he always made it back to the room first, because that way he could get some time with you. That way, he could have a private reunion, fresh off of a job.

“Hey, baby,” he said as he closed the door, and you waited for him to turn his eyes to you before you gave him a smile. He threw down his bag onto one of the chairs, and it landed with a heavy thump, but you’d long grown used to the sound of the score. However much he pulled, good for him. You were just happy to slip your arms around his neck and feel him kiss the scar on your cheekbone before sliding his lips to yours.

He always kissed different right after a job- before the boys had all gotten back, before the total was counted. He had a confidence to his movement, but there was fear, insecurity, just a tinge. He wasn’t just a taker, he was a man, who had worries and risks just like every other man.

You were out of the game for a few reasons. They had it taken care of. You butted heads with Jesse. You didn’t trust Ghost. But you knew that you were AJ’s biggest fear- you knew that if you got hurt on a job, he’d never forgive himself.

So he kissed you, he held you close, he reminded himself that you were here, you were fine. His long fingers seems to take up half your back, and his hair was already in his face, as though you’d tugged it there yourself.

With just one more pass of your lips over his, you pulled away.

“How’d it go?” You asked with a soft voice, rolling your first finger through the curls at the back of his neck.

“Could’ve gone better,” he said with a chuckle, “but we got it done.” You heard a knock at the door, and Gordon was the next arrival- then John, then Jake, then Ghost. Jesse came last, and with him, a whole host of new problems.

A bullet splintered the door and caught AJ somewhere under the ribcage. Everyone hit the floor, diving behind couches, and you popped your head up long enough to see AJ launch over the kitchen island. The room shattered into gunfire and feathers from expensive pillows, glass shards littering the ground like raindrops. It all moved so fast, and the air exploded into noise. You could barely track AJ through it all, he was so far away, all the way across the room. And you wanted to keep your eye straight down the barrel of your gun.

“AJ!” Jesse called from beside you, hidden behind a brown leather couch, “You okay?” You looked around the side of it, and saw him ten feet from you, the longest ten feet of your life, behind the kitchen island. He was struggling, on his hands and knees.

“Get up,” you snarled, knowing he’d already taken a hit.

“Out the back!” John ordered from the doorway behind you, and you started to realize the moment, the dangerous, heavy moment. AJ was all the way across the room- he couldn’t cross it. Not with these mobsters holding ground.

“Let’s go!” Gordon shouted, and your eyes connected with AJ’s. He saw the same thing you did.

“Go,” he said, voice calm, and it cut through the chaos of the room, cut through every hardened lesson ever pounded into you, cut through every wall you’d ever built around you, around your heart. “I’m coming.”

AJ was a good liar. But he couldn’t lie to you.

“No,” you growled through gritted teeth, and you made a rash decision.

You’d always been good at gymnastics. You had strong control over the movement of your body, and had, ever since you’d learned from your cousin throwing you down onto that stone that split open your back. You could move and slink and roll and dive in ways that would keep you not only from falling, but even from being noticed.

Using the chaos as your cover, you did a tight diving roll across the room to him, slipping between shelters unscathed. This brought you just a bit closer to the mobsters, but further from the back door exit that Gordon had been trying to guide you toward. You’d chose AJ over your safety any day- the surprise and the fear in his eyes said that he wished you wouldn’t.

Making sure you had enough ammo, you considered your final move- this didn’t end until these mobsters did. There were five of them left, after all this commotion: four in the room, one in the hall. You couldn’t take all five, not with their guns being so much more than yours, but you could take out a few. You could shift attention, you could buy time.

And hopefully, you could stay breathing, too. That’d be nice.

“Stay down,” you hissed, leaving AJ behind the island where he’d be forgotten about, or assumed dead. Then, you rounded the corner and rolled to the feet of the closest mobster. As you came out of the roll you caught his legs in yours, wrenching them from under him and taking him to the ground with one of the first moves you’d learned in basic training. He hit the wall hard, and was unconscious by the time he landed- the same could not be said for his friends.

From your right, you could see Gordon, still firing, still hopeful for your and AJ’s escape. Your shoulders were above the couch, so you knew he saw as you turned your weapon to the second mobster before he could turn to you, and stopped his heart.

Your commotion had caught the attention of the other three who still remained. You whirled around and raised your gun to one of them, but they managed it first.

Gordon had to swallow back his horror as he saw a bullet enter the front of your side profile, and blood explode from the back. He took out the mobster who still had his attention on you- but your shoulders smacked to the ground outside of his view, and he closed the door.

Luckily, their aim was spotty. You now had a useless left arm, but you were still breathing. Not that you’d let the one remaining mobster notice that.

You and AJ played dead, only a few feet from each other, but the kitchen island becoming a thicker wall than any you’d ever been split by. As you stared blankly at the ceiling, taking shallow breaths hidden by the folds of your shirt, you hoped he didn’t think you were dead. You hoped he wasn’t bleeding out.

After what felt like agonizingly long minutes, the shooting finally stopped, and the door opened again. Gordon was the first to enter the room, and rounded the couch to you, grief in his eyes, expecting the worst.

But you could give him a smile.

“Surprise,” you groaned, and he lit up in relief, helping you sit up with your good arm.

“Look at you, playing dirty,” he said with a laugh, “I thought you were gone for sure.”

“AJ,” you heard Jake say from across the room, and finally AJ could sit up from where you’d forced him down. The two of you had both bled straight through your shirts, but there wasn’t any time for sweet reunions- everyone had to get out, and fast.

AJ left his car wherever it was. John gave the two of you a ride to the airstrip where Gordon was going to disappear for a while, and on the way you and AJ attempted to give each other first aid until the personnel on the plane could take care of it.

Eventually, you leaned against his left, and he against your right, your wounds still stinging and sticky with blood, but manageable, for as long as they needed to be.

The night didn’t get any easier, but that didn’t matter- you were home free, they’d managed the job, and Ghost was out of the picture, and neither of you were going to die.

And someday, when you felt brave enough to recount your near-death, near-loss, near-jailed experience, you’d say:

Five major scars, four tattoos, three piercings, two eyebrow slits. And one gun shot wound.

-🦌 Roe

#reader insert #angst #aj #aj takers #takers #takers 2010 #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #x reader #gn!reader #aj x reader #fics

[tmnt-mags]

Raphael x Fem!Reader

Reader is April's little sister and meets the turtles through her. I changed the ages and timeline a bit just because I don't feel entirely comfortable writing the turtles as 15 year old kids. SO the turtles are 18 the reader is 17 nearing 18 and april is 27.

Warnings: some mention of parent death, but nothing else!

Part 1/ ??

Im still pretty new at writing fanfic and have only done a few and this is my very first tmnt one. Constructive criticism and nice things only please!

I didn't remember my dad. My mother gave birth to me a month before his death. I didn’t remember him but my big sister April did. She told me everything she could about him, all kinds of stories and old home videos. It's almost like I know him but I don’t. Sometimes it's sad and I wish for nothing more than to have some memories with him, but I’ve had a good life and have a great family. I’ve lived with my sister since our mom passed 2 years ago from cancer. I miss her a lot, but I like living with April and I love our apartment.

We both have a deep love for media. She is a reporter with Channel 6 and I started making youtube videos right around the time mom died. It was like a video diary back then and has since turned into something completely different, though there are the occasional personal diary type videos.

I was wearing my favorite oversized sweater. It was a deep forest green and nearly reached my knees. It was worn and a bit tattered in some places, but it was the coziest thing ever.. I was barefoot in the kitchen listening to April talking about the latest Foot Clan activity and thinking about the questions she was planning for some guy who worked on the docks. She had convinced her camera guy Vern to take her over there before they shot her morning segment.

“You’re gonna be late!” I called into the living room while putting some breakfastt in a container for her to take on the road.

“Thank you shorty,” She rushed in and gave me a kiss on the cheek as she grabbed her breakfast and rushed out of the kitchen again to grab her bag “I’ll either be back for dinner or late!”

“That's really specific April,” I mutter as a lean in the kitchen doorway and watch her check her purse. “Do you have your touchup bag and your toothbrush?”

April let out a small gasp and rushed back to the bathroom. She came back out with a bag, gathered her things and blew a kiss as she ran out the door. I let out a laugh and went to eat my own food.

I spent the day editing a new video. I just hit 700k last week so I was making a special video to celebrate. It had some songs that I had covered laid over a video of me painting a portrait of my mother and father. It was taken a year before he had died and they had gone on a weekend getaway in the Appalachian mountains.

I didn't look up until April burst through the door. It was already dark out and I hadn’t even noticed.

“I just witnessed a Foot Clan attack!” she called as she walked through the apartment.

“What? Oh my god! Are you okay?” I practically jumped up and followed her as she began pacing around the living room. “April? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! There I was at the docks trying to get some answers and then BAM! They were there!” She went on about the attack and then started about some kind of vigilante that fought them off.

“Vigilante? Are you serious?” She didn't answer, she just went into her room. I sat back down on the couch and tried to process what she had said. In the end I shook it off and went get some dinner ready.

Over the next few days April was hard to find. She seemed to be constantly on the move and didn't answer her phone. She came home talking about dad's old experiments and giant turtles, and over the next 2 days seemed to just be gone. The spire on the Sacks building fell and The Shredder, who was the leader of the Foot Clan, was arrested and Eric Sacks was revealed to have been working alongside him the whole time. It was a wild time for New York, and April was suddenly quiet about the vigilantes.

Time began to move on and April started talking about these 4 new friends she had that were brothers. They seemed like a fun nice group, and the stories she shared were great.

“So,” I started as we sat together on the couch, “when do I get to meet the brothers?”

April choked on her glass of white wine. “What? Meet them?”

“Yeah, You talk about them all the time! I would like to meet them. They’re all you’ve been talking about for like 3 weeks.” I said as I pushed her with my foot.

“Ummm,” April stopped to think and had a vague look of concern on her face, “I'm not sure actually. They’re pretty busy guys.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Uh-huh. If you don't want me to meet them just say so. I was just curious.” I turn my face away from her.

“No it's not that, It's just they’re kinda shy. They don’t really like meeting people.” April's face said that she was telling a lie.

“Okay.” I left it at that clearly something is bugging her about me meeting her friends.

April-

April went to spend some time with the boys, but couldn’t stop thinking about them meeting her little sister. How would she react? She thought to herself, ‘I fainted when I met them, and there are still times when it kinda freaks me out a bit. I don’t want my baby sister to get scared and I don’t want the boys to get hurt because of it.’ They had tried to act like April’s reaction didn’t hurt them, but she knew it did. ‘I just want everyone to be happy.’ She was sitting in the lair watching the boys fight and Mikey brought up their Christmas pop album again. She smiled, (y/n) loved music and often performed covers on YouTube. She was really good at it. She had even written her own songs but at this point refused to release or talk about them on her channel.

“April, is something troubling you?” The brunette turned, surprised to see Master Splinter.

“Oh it’s nothing really.” She paused, “Actually could we talk? I am having some trouble.” Splinter nodded and gestured for her to follow. Not answering the questioning looks of the brothers, they went into Hashi.

“The boys avoid this room as much as possible,” Splinter said with a chuckle, “they will not listen in in here.”

“Makes sense,” April laughed and sat down on a mat with Splinter while looking at the odd structures in the room, “I’m having some trouble with my sister.”

“Oh yes, little (y/n) she had only just been born. I believe your father brought her down to the lab twice in those last weeks.” He thought back fondly on the small soft baby that looked so tiny in the arms of her father but so big compared to him then. “ what is it that is wrong?”

“She wants to meet the brothers. She doesn’t know that they are turtles, but she knows I have new friends.” April said looking down, “ we are very open. We’re the only family we have left so we always know each other's friends. It’s a safety thing I guess.”

Master Splinter hummed and looked at April, who continued.

“She wants to meet them and honestly I want her to too! I think they would all get along so well and I think the boys would adore her. It would also be nice to know that there are 4 ninjas who would look out for her.” April sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

“I just don’t want the boys to get hurt. What if she is afraid of them? What if she screams and calls them monsters or freaks? What if she passes out or cries. It would hurt them so much, and I don’t want to see my sister frightened anyway.” April’s shoulders slumped and she lowered her face to look across at Splinter.

“You know your sister well? Do you think she will react this way?” The rat questioned.

“I don’t know. This isn’t exactly a situation that has ever come up before or one I ever thought I would be in.” She played with her fingers in her lap and she watched him stroke his beard.

“I think you know your sister well and know what would be the best course of action.” He smiled, “I think the trouble now will be convincing the boys to risk meeting her. I have no doubt that it will be a split crowd.”

April nodded and gave a kind of exasperated smile. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Mikey and Ralph would agree, Donnie was iffy, but Leo would say no.

“Thank you Splinter. That does actually help. Do you mind if I stay in here a bit longer?” She asked.

“Go ahead child. Take your time.” Splinter got up and left the Hashi.

April sat and thought about what he had said. She thought back to everything she knew about her sister and what she knew of the boys. If her sister could be accepting she knew that they could have a great friendship. The boys were half a year older than her and they didn't know anyone their age. It would be nice for them to have that she thought. She knew Mikey would be super friendly right away, maybe even too friendly. Donnie would be polite but wary at first and a bit excited. Raph would be happy just to meet another person, but Leo would be cold. She feared that he would be distant and unapproachable and she knew her sister well enough to know she wouldn't be able to handle that.

She took her time and eventually rejoined the brothers. She brushed off their questions with a simple: “I needed advice.” She sat down with them as they all talked and joked around. Finally Donnie brought up the perfect opportunity.

“April you're lucky you don't have brothers.” He said as Mikey bombarded him with insane ideas for gadgets.

“Well I don't have any brothers but I do have a baby sister.” The turtles all turned towards her clearly shocked by this news. “She's actually about 4 months from turning 18.”

“Woah Angelcakes, We didn't know you had a lil’ sis. Is she as beautiful as you?” Mikey said while batting his eyes at her.

“I think she is absolutely gorgeous, and she sings and does art. She’s about to be a senior in high school.” April said while leaning closer to mikey. “Shes shorter than me and has curves for days. She used to be on the dance team actually.” April laughed and Mikey threw himself back and fanned himself with his hand.

“Why haven't you mentioned her?” Leo asked.

“You never asked if I had any siblings. She was born a few weeks before my dad died.” April smiled sadly at that “She actually asked if she could meet you.”

The boys seemed to freeze at that, and suddenly all eyes were on her.

“You told about us?”. Raph asked.

“Kinda. I might have left out the part about being ninja turtles, but I told her about my new friends and she wants to meet you guys.” Raph scoffed at her answer.

“So you didn't actually tell her about us.” He almost snapped at her.

“Cool it Raph.” leo warned.

“I don't wanna be looked at like a freak. She won't want to meet us when she sees us.” he stood up and walked off. April looked at the others who all looked like they wanted to disagree and agree with Raph at the same time.

“Sorry angelcakes, I'm sure baby angelcakes is great though.” Mikey shrugged.

April sat in disbelief that they all basically said no. The lair was quiet after that and she left after they ate some dinner.

She got home only to remember her sister was spending the night at her friends house. So she had the place all to herself. She let out a sigh and poured herself a tall glass of wine and sat on the couch thinking about the events of the day. She came up with a plan as she finished her cup and decided that by the end of the week they boys will have met her baby sister. She grabbed her phone and invited the boys to come hang out at her place for once this upcoming weekend. They didn't even ask if her sister would be there.

(Y/N)-

April had gone out to pick up some pizza for a late night dinner. I had school, homework, and some video editing to do and forgot to cook. April came home late and said not to worry about it and would grab some pizza. Her new favorite place didn’t offer delivery so she went to go get it. I decided that a nice hot shower sounded good and went in. I got out as I heard the front door open and close. I made my way to my room about to throw on my favorite green sweater only to remember that It had been washed and was in the dryer. So, I wrapped my towel back around me and opened my door to head out into the living room. I walked out and looked up only to meet with 4 pairs of eyes.

“Oh my bad,” I said, turning to go back to my room only to stop and turn right back around. “Ummmm…” I trailed off not sure what to say as I stared at 4 very large, very green, oddly human like turtles, all while in a bath towel that left most of my left hip exposed.

“Oh hi (y/n). I forgot to mention I had friends coming over.” April said walking into the room. “You might wanna put some clothes on though.”

“Yeah…” I said not able to look away from the very large turtle creatures sitting in the living room.

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #tmnt imagine #tmnt 2014

[thehierophage]

Holy Day Meditation for April 2, 2020 æ.v.

April 2, 2020 æ.v. Dies Jovii, Sol 13° Aries, Luna 26° Cancer An Vvi æ.n.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

The Day of Teth, the Day of Lust

Hebrew Letter: Tet

Numerical Value as Letter: 9

Numerical Value as Word: 24 (Tet+Vav+Tet)

Meaning: Serpent (or coiling)

Thoth Card: Lust (Atu XI)

Alternate Title: Strength, Fortitude, The Daughter of the The Flaming Sword.

Image:

Correspondences:

Tree of Life Path Association: Key 19 - Geburah to Chesed (from Sephira 5-4)

Astrological Sign: Leo

Element: Fire

Egyptian Godforms: Ra-Hoor-Khuit, Pasht, Sekhet, Mau/Horus

Geomantic Figure: Fortuna Major and Fortuna Minor

Gemstones: Onyx, Diamond, Jasper, Cat's Eye

Perfumes: Frankincense/Olibanum

Plants: Chestnut, Cyclamen/Sowbread, Aesculus, Lady's Seal, Sunflower

Animals: Lion, Cat, Tiger, Raven

Colors:

King Scale – Yellow, greenish

Queen Scale – Deep purple

Prince Scale – Grey 

Princess Scale – Reddish amber

The Secret Instruction of the Master:

Mitigate Energy with Love; but let Love devour all things. Worship the name _______*, foursquare, mystic, wonderful, and the name of His House 418. (*This Name to be communicated to those worthy of that Initiation.)

Mnemonic:

The Lion-Serpent begets Gods! Thy throne 

The rampant Beast, our Lady Babalon!

Liber Arcanorum Verse

8. Also came forth mother Earth with her lion, even Sekhet, the lady of Asi.

Genius of the House of Mercury

θalعⲝer-ā-dekerval 

Genius of the Prison of the Qliphoth

Temphioth

Recommended Text for Meditation:

Liber Stella Rubeae (LXVI)

Liber Stella Rubeae

A secret ritual of Apep, the Heart of IAO-OAI, delivered unto V.V.V.V.V. for his use in a certain matter of Liber Legis, and written down under the figure LXVI A.˙.A.˙. Publication in Class A. Imprimatur: N. Fra A.˙. A.˙.

1. Apep deifieth Asar.

2. Let excellent virgins evoke rejoicing, son of Night!

3. This is the book of the most secret cult of the Ruby Star. It shall be given to none, save to the shameless in deed as in word.

4. No man shall understand this writing --- it is too subtle for the sons of men.

5. If the Ruby Star have shed its blood upon thee; if in the season of the moon thou hast invoked by the Iod and the Pe, then mayest thou partake of this most secret sacrament.

6. One shall instruct another, with no care for the matters of men's thought.

7. There shall be a fair altar in the midst, extended upon a black stone.

8. At the head of the altar gold, and twin images in green of the Master.

9. In the midst a cup of green wine.

10. At the foot the Star of Ruby.

11. The altar shall be entirely bare.

12. First, the ritual of the Flaming Star.

13. Next, the ritual of the Seal.

14. Next, the infernal adorations of OAI

         Mu pa telai,

         Tu wa melai

         a, a, a.

         Tu fu tulu!

         Tu fu tulu

         Pa, Sa, Ga.

         Qwi Mu telai

         Ya Pu melai;

         u, u, u.

         'Se gu malai;

         Pe fu telai,

         Fu tu lu.

         O chi balae

         Wa pa malae: ---

         Ut! Ut! Ut!

         Ge; fu latrai,

         Le fu malai

         Kut! Hut! Nut!

         Al OAI

         Rel moai

         Ti --- Ti --- Ti!

         Wa la pelai

         Tu fu latai

         Wi, Ni, Bi.

15. Also thou shalt excite the wheels with the five wounds and the five wounds.

16. Then thou shalt excite the wheels with the two and the third in the midst; even Saturn and Jupiter, Sun and Moon, Mars and Venus, and Mercury.

17. Then the five --- and the sixth.

18. Also the altar shall fume before the master with incense that hath no smoke.

19. That which is to be denied shall be denied; that which is to be trampled shall be trampled; that which is to be spat upon shall be spat upon.

20. These things shall be burnt in the outer fire.

21. Then again the master shall speak as he will soft words, and with music and what else he will bring forward the Victim.

22. Also he shall slay a young child upon the altar, and the blood shall cover the altar with perfume as of roses.

23. Then shall the master appear as He should appear --- in His glory.

24. He shall stretch himself upon the altar, and awake it into life, and into death.

25. (For so we conceal that life which is beyond.)

26. The temple shall be darkened, save for the fire and the lamp of the altar.

27. There shall he kindle a great fire and a devouring.

28. Also he shall smite the altar with his scourge, and blood shall flow therefrom.

29. Also he shall have made roses bloom thereon.

30. In the end he shall offer up the Vast Sacrifice, at the moment when the God licks up the flame upon the altar.

31. All these things shalt thou perform strictly, observing the time.

32. And the Beloved shall abide with Thee.

33. Thou shalt not disclose the interior world of this rite unto any one: therefore have I written it in symbols that cannot be understood.

34. I who reveal the ritual am IAO and OAI; the Right and the Averse.

35. These are alike unto me.

36. Now the Veil of this operation is called Shame, and the Glory abideth within.

37. Thou shalt comfort the heart of the secret stone with the warm blood. Thou shalt make a subtle decoction of delight, and the Watchers shall drink thereof.

38. I, Apep the Serpent, am the heart of IAO. Isis shall await Asar, and I in the midst.

39. Also the Priestess shall seek another altar, and perform my ceremonies thereon.

40. There shall be no hymn nor dithyramb in my praise and the praise of the rite, seeing that it is utterly beyond.

41. Thou shalt assure thyself of the stability of the altar.

42. In this rite thou shalt be alone.

43. I will give thee another ceremony whereby many shall rejoice.

44. Before all let the Oath be taken firmly as thou raisest up the altar from the black earth.

45. In the words that Thou knowest.

46. For I also swear unto thee by my body and soul that shall never be parted in sunder that I dwell within thee coiled and ready to spring.

47. I will give thee the kingdoms of the earth, O thou Who hast mastered the kingdoms of the East and of the West.

48. I am Apep, O thou slain One. Thou shalt slay thyself upon mine altar: I will have thy blood to drink.

49. For I am a mighty vampire, and my children shall suck up the wine of the earth which is blood.

50. Thou shalt replenish thy veins from the chalice of heaven.

51. Thou shalt be secret, a fear to the world.

52. Thou shalt be exalted, and none shall see thee; exalted, and none shall suspect thee.

53. For there are two glories diverse, and thou who hast won the first shalt enjoy the second.

54. I leap with joy within thee; my head is arisen to strike.

55. O the lust, the sheer rapture, of the life of the snake in the spine!

56. Mightier than God or man, I am in them, and pervade them.

57. Follow out these my words.

58. Fear nothing.

     Fear nothing.

     Fear nothing.

59. For I am nothing, and me thou shalt fear, O my virgin, my prophet within whose bowels I rejoice.

60. Thou shalt fear with the fear of love: I will overcome thee.

61. Thou shalt be very nigh to death.

62. But I will overcome thee; the New Life shall illumine thee with the Light that is beyond the Stars.

63. Thinkest thou? I, the force that have created all, am not to be despised.

64. And I will slay thee in my lust.

65. Thou shalt scream with the joy and the pain and the fear and the love --- so that the ΛΟΓΟΣ of a new God leaps out among the Stars.

66. There shall be no sound heard but this thy lion-roar of rapture; yea, this thy lion-roar of rapture.

Love is the law, love under will.

#Thelema #Magick #Tarot

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E56 (March 26, 2019)

Gooooood evening, everyone. @eponymous-rose is taking a well-deserved break, so I’m stepping in to ruin reputations and botch direct quotations all over the place. Here to give us the appropriate gravitas and fear for the evening is the Chamber of Chairs:

Tonight’s guests: Liam O’Brien & Marisha Ray. Dani flips Liam off to start the show and it’s pretty funny. “What did I doooo?”

Tonight’s announcements: Last night was the season finale of Between the Sheets, featuring Ashly Burch, who is shockingly short in person. The VOD’s up for subscribers now, and it’ll be posted on YT tomorrow for everyone else. The Ashley Johnson episode will be up soon! Yay! Remember, no new episode of CR this week, and no new episode of TM next Tuesday as a result. Normal CR broadcasting resumes April 4. The Kickstarter hit $8 million today. Liam: “Oh boy oh boy oh boy it’s fine it’s fine IT’S FINE.” The final goal is $8.8m with 23 days to go, and a behind-the-scenes filming of the theme song was posted today on the KS. The video’s actually pretty cool & features Ashley in a feather boa!

Anyway! Episode 56: The Favor

CR Stats! This was the shortest episode of this campaign at 2h19m15s of gameplay. Only Shopping and Shipping from C1 was shorter. This episode tied for the fewest spells cast in one episode (six) and all were cast by Caleb. Over the 44 episodes & 136 days the M9 had the dodecahedron, they gained 25 fragments of possibility and actually utilized 13. 

Liam and Marisha talk about having a timer in the office: “It has been 27 days since the last Holy Fuck ending.”

None of them thought Matt was going to cut it off at that point, but when he explained he wanted Taliesin there for the next part, it made sense to all of them & they all agreed it was for the best.

Beau has four thousand thoughts racing through her head right now. One of them is excitement about getting to learn the Kryn more, but she’s also terrified. Henry interrupts with the most adorable baying howl and he walks offstage. What a good pupper.

Liam describes the moment as everyone frozen in amber as they wait for the next episode. Beau will figure out something to her advantage between now and then.

Marisha likens this moment to the Emon attack and the Lorenzo fight with Molly in terms of emotional shock. Brian remembers Sam was in a tux that night; Marisha: “I knew it was going to be a funeral tux.”

There’s another question about how Marisha/Beau feels about the dodeca handoff, and both Liam and Marisha start laughing about how this entire TM episode is just going to be about the ramifications of Caleb’s decision. Liam: “No regrets,” but he understands there’s going to be a lot of fallout. They talk about how the ramifications will depend on how public the Krynn make their gift: will it be parades in the streets, a handshake and dismissal from a private room, etc? What if there was a Dairon-type spy in the room who’ll tell people they don’t want to know about their actions? They’re eager and afraid to see the fallout.

Brian points out everyone could see on Travis’s face he would rather have gone to jail, but further discussion is derailed by questions.

The group had discussed the possibility of handing off the dodecahedron in the past, but he hadn’t considered ever handing it off until the last sixty seconds when “everything was going to shit. It was more mathematical than anything. It felt a lot like Avantika. We’ve got a plan, the plan’s broken, but we can get away, no, we can’t get away, now this is changing--I don’t want someone outside our group to control the situation if I can act first, if I can punch first. Everyone’s trying to negotiate and it’s failing, I don’t want to give up this thing either, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, here’s--this.” Caleb wanted to save the group. He wouldn’t have taken the gamble even two minutes earlier. Then, suddenly as it began to work, he & Caleb began realizing that not only did it work, but it worked very well and now his brain had split into two: “oh, thank God, I care about these people, I can save them,” and “how do I use this to my advantage.”

Caleb was quiet through most of this episode because he really wanted to discuss several things in private with other group members--that’s what he was thinking about for most of this.

Dani points out everyone expected physical travel between this fight & the audience with the queen where there would be downtime to discuss things. None of them expected immediate teleportation.

If Beau had been in a position to stop Caleb from giving up the beacon, she would not have stopped him.

Beau was wincing as Nott & Jester asked questions they should have already known the answers to. Liam points out it’s the war room in Dr. Strangelove--only the most powerful people would have been there. Beau dislikes authority but doesn’t think she’s stupid enough to have gotten herself seen as an obvious traitor.

Everyone revels in Matt’s Caduceus impression.

GIF of the Week: Liam pulling the dodeca out of the haversack by Will D. Brian singsongs “Travis is tilted~, Travis is tilted, look at his face~” over the GIF playing. Haaaaaahaha, poor Travis.

Liam: “I think I’m just in the shithouse.” Marisha: “You blew the shit whistle.”

Brief hilarious aside where they discuss Tetanus Terry (ft. on Travis Willingham’s YeeHaw Game Ranch) & Caleb Widogast getting fully replaced by Terry as a backup character if he gets assassinated.

On a scale of 1-10, Beau is following Dairon’s advice to a 7. She’s trying not to get attached, not to die, to listen, to not get impatient, to not be biased. She’s probably going to get closer to people than Dairon would suggest, but thinks she’s trying pretty hard.

It wasn’t cathartic for Caleb to renounce the Empire like this. His parents were very pro-Empire, and now that he’s on this journey to atone for his parents’ deaths, he’s done exactly the last thing his parents ever, ever wanted him to do--walked into the heart of the enemy and gave them everything they wanted. (Brian, Liam, & Dani briefly rag on Tumblr still having faint life somewhere. “Female-presenting nipples” comes up. It’s funny and also very sad.)

Brian discusses how it’s a big moment, but it’s not a victory for the group. Caleb was just shooting for a short-term immediate solution. Marisha: “It feels like a sitcom bait-and-switch. Nah, it’s cool, guys, we’re gonna pretend to be waiters and we’ll sneak into the kitchen,” but then they sneak into the kitchen and the cook laughs that the sous-chef is out today, and “now we’re in over our heads!”

Brian reveals dramatically that last night he came out as a supporter of Liam for President of D&D Beyond. Liam: “Beneath all the chicanery & hair product, there is common sense."

Liam & Marisha talk about the difference between Nott/Caleb’s original first podunk jail and this potential maximum security prison.

Caleb imagined the BDSM straps over his shirt and coat. Apparently most of the fanart generated this week has failed to include them. 

Both Marisha & Liam VEHEMENTLY agree they hated not being able to be main parts of the Brightqueen talks. They also talk about how they both are far better at CHA than Nott & Jester, though they point out in fairness that Matt’s told them he always adjusts the social DCs based on the arguments they make.

As far as the slavery part of the disguise, Marisha: “Marisha has laughed at every piece of fanart. Beau was surprised. Beau’s gonna have a talk.” She (Beau) felt they had discussed the costumes, the pretense--but not the bullying & active degradation her group put her through. It was huge, an eye-opening moment for Beau in a way she (Beau & Marisha) absolutely did not expect. She never thought they would abuse their status over her in that way.

They discuss how on a meta sense, they all knew that the scene was just Travis and Laura trolling them and having fun at their expense, but at the same time it’s still happening in game and will have in-game consequences. Marisha: “It’s like at a party where your good friend starts getting a little too drunk and starts making fun of you a little too much--it’s a little too real.”

That said, one of Marisha’s favorite fanarts from this week was Beau (as a table) swearing under her breath at Jester with her feet up. It’s an interesting juxtaposition.

Fanart of the Week: The Brightqueen by Nikki Dawes.

Beau does not feel she’s betrayed anyone by being present at this event. She knows where her allegiances lie, so just because this happened doesn’t mean it’s changed anything about what she believes. That said, she has no love for the Empire. She’s very personal with whom she cares about. She doesn’t have as much obvious disdain as Caleb does--she’s just more indifferent.

Caleb has a high CHA that he just doesn’t use anymore, because the people he knew with high CHA that used it did so to do bad things. Liam thinks when Caleb was young he was very gifted, charming, and attracted people to him; now it’s all gone. He can hold it together like a sandcastle by the tide for an hour, but in the end it always washes away.

On Nott speaking for the group: Marisha always likes hearing Sam talk. In some ways Marisha felt it was the same thing she used to get for Keyleth-- "why are you talking? You shouldn’t be talking. You shouldn’t be the talker.” Everyone should have their own voice, regardless of the scores on the page. “Your stats are there to influence the effects of what happens; they’re not the Bible. They’re not law.” She reminds us Vex once entered an arm-wrestling contest with a strength of 7.

How does Beau feel now that Caleb’s made another huge decision without consulting the rest of the M9 (i.e. Bowlgate)? It’ll play out in game. It’s a big deal. Liam admits he loves it. “The whole point is conflict resolution, so you need conflict.” He loves things like this, like the Astrid letter, because it opens opportunities to explore characters. In some ways it’s the same thing: they were in an impossible situation and Caleb sees it as protecting his friends, but that’s not how it read to anyone else. Marisha points out that once again he made himself the authority to make this huge decision without discussing it with anyone else in the group.

Marisha and Liam start talking about the decision more, decide it should wait for the game, but then keep talking despite themselves. Marisha points out that on top of his (once-again) unilateral decision, his speech was also framed selfishly (”I did this thing, I brought this back to you,”). To her, it still feels like the same thing with Caleb deciding things with major consequences for the rest of the group without their input, though she admits it’s colored by their (Beau’s & Caleb’s) history. Liam talks about how in the moment he was scared of deception checks, so he just tried to be as truthful as possible--nothing he said was false because he was only speaking for himself. He could not have spoken for the group & still been truthful. It’s a really interesting dichotomous discussion, both of them talking about what they felt in the moment versus how it came across to everyone else.

Liam feels it’s more like seeing someone dying in front of them & wasting time discussing whether they should do CPR or not, rather than him making decisions for the whole group. Marisha’s face obviously disagrees (so do I, ahaha). Liam also thought they were going to continue the episode & talk more, which would have kept it from being as much about him. This is gonna be super interesting when it actually plays out, for sure.

Once again, no new CR this Thursday or TM next Tuesday. Most of the rest of the programming will stay the same. This Tuesday’s Mame Drop will feature Max James of CR production fame.

We end on this eldritch horror:

"Weuuuh, Caleb knows best! Caleb will make the decisions for all of us in this D&D game!”

Aaand we’re out. Stay turnt.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

[tommybaholland]

Far From You | Peter Parker x reader

(:((( gif is not mine)

READ “After Ashes” FIRST 

Summary: what happens after defeating Thanos?

Word Count: 4K+

warnings: angst, swearing, post-Endgame, ffh spoilers 

a/n: phewww finally got this donE...i’ve been thinking about it ever since i saw ffh so im real excited to finally have written it and am now sharing it w you :’). this is also for @plushparker ‘s 2K writing challenge congrats bby!! 

Prompt: “I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you.” 

––––––––––––––––––––

“We wait for Mr. Stark to save us.” 

And so you waited, you and Peter. 

It was pretty agonizing, to say the least. There was nothing to do but wait. You and Peter were completely alone, surrounded by orange. 

“How many people do you think are also trapped here?” You asked as you cradled Peter’s head in your lap.

“Thanos said he’d wipe out half of Earth’s population, so a lot,” Peter responded with his eyes shut, enjoying the sensation of your hand playing with his hair mindlessly. 

You looked up, scanning the orange horizon, still seeing nothing. 

“Where is everyone? It’s just us here,” You noted.

“I’m not sure. Maybe everyone has their own section of the stone,” Peter proposed, opening his eyes to see your reaction. 

You smiled, chuckling. “Then it’s kind of a miracle that we got to have our own little section together.”

Peter smiled back, sitting up and turning to lean towards you. 

“Yeah, it kind of is,” he agrees.

He leans in slightly to give you a small kiss, with his suit-covered hand on you shoulder while yours came up to cradle the back of his neck. 

It was scary, that unknown feeling. You might be gone forever, and never see Ned or MJ or your parents again. Peter may never see May or Tony again. You may never get to experience life, or living, ever again. 

It was a hard pill you might have to swallow. 

But being alone Peter was enough to get you through it, for now. 

Pulling back slowly, you opened your eyes to admire your whole world, smiling at the tiny details around his eyes as you stayed close to one another. 

Suddenly Peter looked behind him, as if he were anticipating something. 

“Peter? What is it?”

He looked around the orange space, searching for the threat that triggered his senses, the little pulses vibrating throughout his body. 

“Something’s...happening,” he voiced before lowering his eyes back to you, making sure you were okay. 

You felt something on your hands, tickling in between your fingers. Looking down, your eyes widened as you saw your hands begin to crumble into dust.

“Peter! Wha—what’s—” 

Your breaths became heavy as you tried to reach out to him, frantic that you would lose him again. 

“I—I,” Peter didn’t know how to respond to what was happening. He watched as tears fell from your eyes, his heart breaking at the sight. 

But he wanted to remain calm for you.

“I’ll find you, babe, okay? It’ll be okay. It’s going to be okay. You’re alright,” he soothed, his arms enclosing around you as you nodded.

“Peter,” you sobbed before the remaining parts of you blew away, reduced to nothing but dust. 

Peter’s senses continued to pulsate through him, and he waited for something to strike, to explode, to end. 

He assumed his attack position, crouched down with a fist pulled back, ready to strike whatever was coming. 

“C’mon, Mr. Stark.” 

The orange soon began to fade, and Peter let out several short breaths, hyping himself up for the finishing fight with Thanos. 

“This is it.”

—

You woke up in a startled panic. Sitting up moments after you opened your eyes, your saw that you were back in your room, laying on your bed. 

You surveyed the space, seeing that not much had changed physically, but the atmosphere was almost haunting. All of your belongings were left untouched, unmoved, unloved. Everything seemed normal, but a dull normal. 

Getting up from your spot on the bed, you went over to the window to look out at the city. Lights in apartment buildings were on, cars were moving, and the night was still young. It was almost as if you dreamt the whole thing, and at this point you were considering it. 

You felt uneasy.

After everything that happened, everything that Peter told you happened, something had to be different. Walking over to your desk, you looked at your pictures on the wall. Pictures of you and your friends, pretty places, you and Peter. 

Was Peter any different? Did they actually do it? 

Turning back to your bed, you reached over the mattress with haste to grab your phone, the screen lighting up to show the current date. 

April 27, 2023 

You eyes widened as you clapped a hand on your forehead. 

You were gone for five years??!

It seemed like only hours, a school day at most, in the soul stone. 

You unlocked your phone, clicking your way to call the last person you saw. 

“Please, please, c’mon..”

“Hey, this is Peter! Leav-“ 

“Fuck,” you swore as you pulled the phone away from your ear, the call disconnecting, your phone shutting off from low battery. 

Talk about major deja vu. Except maybe Peter would come back this time. Or maybe you wouldn’t find him in some unfamiliar place as a prisoner to an alien who wanted half of humanity dead only to come back finding out that you’d been gone five years. 

You sat on the edge of the bed, staring back up at the wall of photos. You weren’t even looking at them, just staring. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. The desensitization kicking in, you passed time easily and quietly. 

You eventually decided to exit your room to see if your parents were there or not. You didn’t even know if they had been in the stone with you. You had no way of knowing who was there with you. Turns out they had been snapped too, leading to you explaining everything you knew about what happened. 

After catching up with your parents, you went back in to your room, you intentions set on sleeping on it. Upon opening your door, you flinched as you discovered Peter, who was sitting on the edge of your bed just as you had done earlier. 

“Peter!” 

You exclaimed as he stood up quickly and taking a few steps to meet your embrace, tightly hugging you around the waist. Your cheek felt cool against the surface of his iron suit as you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

“Oh my god, what happened? Did you win? Is Thanos gone? Is everyone okay?? Did you know that we were gone for five years?” You threw out a bunch of questions as you released him, getting a good look at him for the first time since he showed up in your room. 

He looked like he had just stepped off the battlefield. Messy hair, dirt-smudged face, and glossy eyes adorned his features. He didn’t respond for a few moments, just looking as you as if he was trying to conjure the right words. 

“Yeah,” he finally replied, stepping back to reclaim his position on your bed.

“We won. He’s gone.” 

You followed his lead, sitting next to him, turning towards him with one knee up on the mattress. 

“You don’t...seem too happy about it,” you commented on his forlorn tone. 

You placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention. 

“How does it feel to win your first fight as an Avenger?” 

You tried to perk him up, not understanding what was causing him so much...anguish. 

He turned his head towards, reluctant to meet your eyes. 

“He’s gone.” 

“Yeah, P, Thanos is gone–“ 

“No,” he cut you off. You noticed tears surfacing in his eyes, darkening the chocolate brown color of the iris. Fear struck your heart trying to guess what he would say next. 

“Mr. Stark is gone.” 

You shook your head slightly, somewhat in disbelief. 

“Wha-“

“He’s gone, y/n! Mr. Stark is gone. He’s dead! And I-I didn’t–I didn’t—“ 

“Shh, Peter. It’s okay.” You shushed him, pulling his head down for him to cry into your shoulder. 

You smoothed down the hair in the back of his head, your other hand rubbing his back comfortingly.

“It shouldn’t have been him. I should’ve saved him, I should’ve–“ 

“Shh, it’s okay, babe. I’m sure you did everything you could to help,” you comforted. 

It was hard to see him like this, especially when you didn’t know exactly what went down during the final battle with Thanos. 

“Baby, let’s clean you up, get you out of this suit and lay down,” you offered, starting to move away from him. 

“Noooo,” he whimpered, pulling you closer to him, pressing his face deeper into your shoulder. 

“I just want you to hold me.” 

“Peter, let’s just lay you down so you can rest, okay?” 

Peter nodded into your shoulder, leaning his head up to let you move back to the head of your bed. Peter followed suit, crawling up to the other side of the bed beside you, wrapping your arms around him. You guided him to lay his head down on your chest, right over your heart. His arm was thrown over your waist, the cool metal of his fingers brushing over your hip. 

He relaxed, closing his eyes as he listened to the loud thump of your heart, feeling you fingers in his hair once again. You laid there, letting everything sink in, again. 

“Dr. Strange said there was only one chance for us to win,” Peter spoke up, his voice hoarse from crying. 

“Why did that one chance have to be the one that killed him?” 

It broke your heart that Peter watched the person he looked up to the most die. It wasn’t meant to be like this, or maybe it was. 

You didn’t know what to say or how to help him. You wish you had powers, and could take away his pain. But for now, all you could do was remain calm for him. 

“It’s going to be okay, P.” 

—

The next eight months would prove to be tough. On everyone. And starting over the school year after the Snap didn’t help. 

However, everyone who was gone adapted rather quickly once they came back. It was weird seeing people, friends and teachers, who survived the Snap and are now five years older. But you and everyone else soon returned to your day-to-day routines, acting almost like nothing happened. 

Peter had it the worst. 

You didn’t want to go with him to the funeral, wanting to spare yourself of the pain, but he wanted you to be there with him. He held onto your hand throughout the entire service, squeezing it every now and then to make sure you were still there. 

You didn’t know Tony too well, only having seen him a few times since he gave Peter the suit he made for him after Peter went to Germany. That was even before you knew he was Spider-Man, before you were dating. You though he was just a regular, nerdy cutie who liked to play with Legos and eat smushed sub sandwiches. 

And you still loved all that about him. 

But he was gone way too often and you were in way too deep to not figure it out, with the help of MJ. 

In a way, Tony brought you two together. Peter would always mention the “Stark Internship” and vaguely how he was working right alongside Tony and the Avengers. And even when his cover was blown, and that ended up to be mostly not true, Peter would still take every chance he could to impress Mr. Stark and protect the city. 

Peter was Spider-Man all on his own but meeting the high expectations of Tony Stark was what, he thought, made Spider-Man great and amazing. 

For the first few months, Peter was mopey and sad. You didn’t see him as much as you used to, even when you wanted to help him. But you had to admit, it took up a lot of your own energy to see him sad and trying to help him through it. 

You really didn’t feel like you were helping at all, and felt more like a burden to him, if anything. 

But for the last few months, he had gotten better. That spark in his eyes and the pep in his, now deeper, voice was coming back. He went out to patrol the city more and even made appearances at FEAST shelter charity events that Aunt May hosted. 

You knew he was still hurting. 

You knew he was trying to distract himself from the unfortunate end for Tony, those images of him dying right before Peter’s eyes. 

The school year was ending and the school science trip to Europe was coming up, and Peter couldn’t be more relieved. 

“We’re going to have so much fun and see all the famous parts of the world!” He beamed laying next to you one night after going out on his nightly patrols. 

You hated to mention it but it was itching at your mind. 

“What if someone here needs help while we’re gone, or while we’re on the trip?” 

Peter picked his head up off your shoulder, leaning on his elbow to look at you. 

“Well...I was thinking…” he began, his eyes shifting from yours. “I’m not gonna take the suit.” 

You knew he had been through a rough spot, but you thought he was starting to enjoy having these abilities and using them for good again. 

“But you love being Spider-Man.” 

“Yeah, I do, babe, but I just need a break. I just want to be Peter Parker, going on vacation and enjoying it with my friends and making out with my beautiful girlfriend at the top of the Eiffel Tower.”

You giggled as he got closer to you, hovering over to bring his lips to yours for a few sweet kisses. 

“You’ll always be Peter Parker to me,” you replied, pulling back slightly but still close enough to see the small, minute details of his pretty face. 

He smiled and continued to kiss you, enjoying hearing your laugh as his lips tickled your cheek and neck. He thought about all the plans he had for you on this trip, some of which you knew nothing about.

He sold all his Star Wars figurines and memorabilia to make money and buy you a glass blown necklace in Venice with an orchid charm, your favorite flower. He wanted to give it to you in Paris, at the top of the Eiffel Tower, the most romantic spot in the world.  

He’s told you ‘I love you’ before but he wanted this time to be special. 

Truthfully, he felt like he had neglected you. You were there for him through it all and he wanted you to know that he appreciated that. He really loved you, everything about you. 

—

The trip was not going well for Peter. 

The first day in Venice was alright and he was somehow able to sneak away for a moment to get the necklace for you. It was prettier than he imagined and it would look even better when he’d put it on you. 

So it was going well, until that water monster thing showed up. And if it weren’t for Mysterio, he probably wouldn’t have been able to control the situation without his suit, which May packed, much to his dismay. 

Mysterio, or Beck, as Peter knew him, was the only good thing about Nick Fury inserting himself into the vacation. 

He understood and praised Peter for being a smart kid who was being bogged down a big responsibility. And you were happy listening to Peter talk about him as you walked together through the streets of Prague, making up for lost time. 

“So he had me try on the Edith glasses, right? And he was like ‘They look stupid’ so then I passed them over to him and he put them on and oh my god, y/n! He looked just like him,” Peter exclaimed.

You smiled at his beaming tone, enjoying that he was obviously excited to have another ‘super person’ he could be friends with.

“So then I thought, ‘It’s him’ and I gave Edith the confirmation to let Beck have command of the glasses. Isn’t that great, babe?”

You frowned slightly at the last part. “Why did you give Edith to him, again?”

“Because this is what Mr. Stark wanted me to do! He gave me the glasses so I could find the next Tony Stark. Don’t you see?”

“Peter, I think he gave you the glasses because he wanted you to have them,” you responded. 

He seemed to be overthinking it. Why wouldn’t he cherish something that was given to him by someone he cared for a lot?

“I’m not the next Iron Man, y/n, Beck is. He’s the only one who knows how to beat the Elementals, Nick Fury trusts him, he fits the Avengers to a T; he’s perfect!”

You shook your head. “I just, I don’t know about this, P. You haven’t known him for very long and since when does Nick Fury trust anyone?” 

“Listen, babe,” he answered, putting his hands on your shoulders. “It’s going to be okay, I have a good feeling about this. And if I didn’t, I would feel it.” 

You sighed. “I have something to show you.”

Taking off your backpack that you’d brought, you pulled out a small metal device that had some of Peter’s webs hanging off of it. 

You handed it to Peter as you began to explain. “I found it after you knocked it off of that fire thing. I don’t know what it is, but it seems...strange.”

Peter looked at it, thinking it looked like a light or something before it sparked, causing him to drop it. Hitting the ground, the device projected a cloudy, ghost looking monster, similar to the other Elementals. 

Peter was confused, trying to put it together in his head. 

“I-I don’t understand…”

“Peter...I think all those fights, the Elementals….” you started, getting his attention. “They were fake.” 

How could that be? Peter fought them himself, they seemed so real. 

“No, no. That can’t be true,” he denied, shaking his head.

“It has to be,” you corroborated. “Why are there projectors falling off of the Elementals? Why do they suddenly surrender when Mysterio shows up? It all makes sense, Peter!” 

He didn’t want to believe you, but everything you were saying didn’t make Beck look good. And what made it worse was—

“Oh god.” 

Peter trusted him. 

—

Peter was left alone, again. But this time he was betrayed by someone he thought he could trust to be like Mr. Stark. 

“I’ve gotta get to Berlin,” Peter voiced, frantically tearing his clothes off to put on the ‘night monkey’ suit. 

You just stood there in your room, not knowing what to say. 

“You were right, y/n,” he admitted as he finished putting on the suit, holding the mask in his hand. 

“I shouldn’t have given him the glasses. I’m sorry I doubted you.”

He was closer to you now, a hand caressing the side of your head, brushing some of your hair back. 

“It’s okay,” you accepted, grabbing his forearm. “What are you gonna do?”

Peter shrugged slightly. “Try to stop him, I guess? I’ll figure it out once I find Mr. Fury.”

You nodded, not wanting to say goodbye. 

“Cover for me and warn the others. I’ll try to get in touch with Happy. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

You nodded again, a quiet confirmation just barely passing your lips. You squeezed his forearm as he leaned in to place a small kiss on your forehead. 

He put the mask on, turned and went to the window to jump out of the hotel, taking all your hope with him. 

Going to London didn’t feel right. You didn’t know what was going to happen or what was currently happening, but you didn’t feel very good about it. No one really noticed that Peter was gone, excluding Ned and MJ, not even Flash, who was too busy vlogging for his Spider-Man fan account. 

It was very cloudy and overcast in the city, looking like a storm was coming. It was getting windier by the second and it wasn’t just because you were on top of a double decker bus. Ned and MJ looked out at Tower Bridge with you, seeing a big cloud start to take shape. 

“Is this Mysterio?” Ned asked. 

“It must be, but it’s not real.”

You had told them about Mysterio and how he was using drone tech to fake the Elemental attacks. 

“Where’s Peter?” MJ questioned. 

You looked around the sky, hoping that he would swoop in soon to stop this. 

“I don’t know.”

The next ten minutes became increasingly intense as the storm escalated, causing the entire class to exit the bus and run in the opposite direction of the chaos. You looked back as you ran, seeing a small figure fly right into the cloud of drones disguised as an Elemental. 

Peter glided into the scene, closing his eyes as he entered the cloud, finding hundreds of drones projecting the illusion. He used the taser webs he built into his custom-made suit to short-circuit the group, effectively stopping the projections. 

Peter fought for his life once he found Beck on the bridge. Destroying all his drones in a matter of seconds and stopping a gunshot to his head proved to be a moment of clarity for Peter. 

He could trust himself when it came to danger. 

“You can’t trick me anymore,” he announced before ripping the glasses off of Beck, putting them on to order Edith to turn off the drones. 

He watched as the drones retreated, flying back to wherever they came from. He sighed, finally able to take a breath and feeling exhausted after actually fighting something. Looking out at the real damage on the bridge he noticed a person standing in the middle of all the debris. He made the figure out to be you, seemingly looking around for him. 

“y/n…”

He was about to make his way down when he noticed two drones flying towards you from both sides. His eyes widened as he saw they were going to meet in the middle right where you were standing. 

“Y/N!” 

He jumped on top of the handrail in front of a broken window. He didn’t have any web fluid left in his web shooters as he flung himself from the window, trying to glide down to grab you. 

He screamed out for you, trying to get your attention to move. He didn’t want to accept that he wasn’t going to make it in time. The drones collided with each other, causing a big explosion that threw him back further down the bridge. 

He landed in some debris, coughing to quickly get up and see the aftermath. Once the smoke had cleared, he saw your body on the ground, not moving. 

“Oh no, y/n!” 

He ran as fast as he could over to you, punching his way through anything that was in his way. 

“Oh my god, y/n.”

He reached you, dropping to his knees as you coughed, barely conscious. There was a large gash on the side of your head, blood flowing out. Peter cradled your head as you spoke hoarsely. 

“Peter…”

“No, y/n, no, no, no.”

Tears filled up in his eyes, getting more hysterical as your eyes started to droop closed. 

“Babe, no. You’re-You’re alright, it’s going to be okay,” he sniffled. “No, y/n, please. You’re okay, just, p-please.”

He was fully crying now, leaning down to cry over your lifeless body. 

“Peter?”

His ears perked up as he straightened up, looking back to see you walking towards him. 

“y/n?”

“No, no, no. Stop,” Peter held his hand up at you. 

“This is another trick. You’re not real, you’re-you’re dead!” Peter acknowledged, gesturing to your body laying on the pavement. 

“Peter, this isn’t a trick, it’s really me,” you spoke. 

“Prove it. Tell me something only you would know,” he whimpered, distressed. 

You held out your hand, opening up your palm to reveal the necklace. 

“Happy gave this to me,” you explained. “He said that you were going to give it to me. Is that true?”

Peter was breathing heavily and nodded, too tired to speak. 

“It is you…”

He looked back to find the dead you gone, confirming that was the illusion. He looked back to you, who stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

He pulled you into his arms, burying his bloody and tear-stained face into your shoulder. 

“I love you, y/n,” he spoke into your shoulder, words coming out muffled. 

“I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

You pulled away from him, about to respond when he kept talking. 

“I had this whole plan to give you that at the top of the Eiffel Tower but that didn’t happen because of….everything and I wanted to show how much I love you and appreciate you. I’m sorry it was ruined, guess I can’t just be Peter Parker…” He trailed off, lowering his eyes from your expression. 

“No, you can’t,” you replied, meeting his eyes. “I told you, you’re always going to be Peter Parker to me, and that includes Spider-Man. I love you, Peter, all of you.” 

He smiled at your response, his eyes still slightly glossy from crying. He leaned in, holding you close to him as you shared a short but passionate kiss with enough love to last a lifetime. 

—

And that all happened about a week ago. 

Now you stood outside of your apartment, waiting for Peter to come get you so you could have date night. You figured you both deserved it, given what a disaster the trip came to. 

You phone suddenly vibrated in your hand, signaling a call from Peter, which was odd considering you had just been texting him. 

“Hey, babe. Are you coming?”

“Y/N! Ohmygod…”

“Peter, what’s wrong?” You questioned his frantic tone. 

“I was swinging through the neighborhood to come get you when...Beck—”

“Mysterio? I thought he was dead!” You interrupted.

“So did I!” Peter agreed. “But he filmed a video of himself before I got to him on the bridge..or somethings, accusing me of all these bad things…”

“Oh, Peter…”

“And then he-he…” Peter paused, in disbelief that he was going to say it aloud.

“What did he do, P?” 

“Revealed my identity.”

“He wHAT?!!?” you exclaimed, clapping a hand to your forehead. 

“The whole world knows I’m Spider-Man.” 

You and Peter really can’t seem to catch a break.

—

A/N: should i write another part and make some shit up or shall we wait two more years so i can write something based off what they do next with our sticky boi??

<3 tommybaholland

what will happen to peter and y/n?? (feedback much appreciated)

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[volleydorkscentral]

ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS IN THE UNUSUAL ASK GAME, YOU COWARD.

First of all: 

Second, questions under the cut: 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? - Spotify! all the way. i hoarse my bf’s account so he can never listen but i don’t care it’s mine now it’s full of my music and my playlists and whenever i’m listening to it and it suddenly changes cause he tries to use it on his phone I call him, “are you using spotify?” “oh. i mean i can listen to something else?” “cool, thanks!” and i get my music back. :D

is your room messy or clean? - it’s somewhere in between. my actual ROOM (bed room, i assume) is pretty clean, except i never make the bed. but the house is .. a work in progress. it’s not dirty but it’s cluttered so my bf and I are having to work together to clear that and build shelves and stuff for more storage space.

what color are your eyes? - dark brown! (with little green flecks when I cry)

do you like your name? why? - Not really? i don’t hate it. My mom wanted to name me Savannah but they had her sign the certificate while she was still drugged from her c-section so it ended up as Crystal?? Idk. She named her dolls Crystal when she was a kid.

what is your relationship status? - dating for almost six years. 

how many times a week do you shower? uhhh idk. I don’t shower every day (unless i get gross). AT LEAST four times… but I don’t wash my hair every time cause that’s bad for my hair. I SHOWER WHEN I AM DIRTY.

favorite tv show? does Haikyuu!! count? that’s probably a given. HM. Well, we don’t have cable so I don’t watch a lot of NEW shows? …. OH. Duh. Fuckin me I’m a dumbass. Bob’s Burgers. I literally have it on ALL THE TIME. I don’t like silence so it’s ALWAYS on in the background if i’m not listening to music. I’ve seen every episode a zillion times. I can usually pinpoint every scene and the major lines/jokes.

shoe size? most brands it’s 5 1/2 

how tall are you? SHORTER THAN NISHINOYA BUT TALLER THAN YACHI. I’m like… 5ft-5’1 depending on how much my back hurts. (i used that earlier and someone said it was funny and i’m trash so i’ll repeat it here!)

sandals or sneakers? i wear Bobs LOL. (knock off toms) and i’ve got one pair of sneakers and sometimes I wear my ballet flats around even though my bf says they look dumb fuck u they’re comfy.

do you go to the gym? No. I used to, but where I live now it’d be like a 45 min drive. I don’t really LIKE gyms though? working out is boring to me. No matter how hard I try. I’d love to start dancing again for real.

describe your dream date - April 25th because it’s not too cold and not too hot. Okay but jk that’s a lie where I live it’s balls hot in april. Idk. I’d like to go hiking when it’s not very hot? Take my dog, let her run around. Take a picnic. Sit in a grassy field and talk about dumb shit cause we know each other’s dreams and hopes by now.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? UHM. fuck like…. $27? i know there’s a twenty and a handful of ones. And a handful of change.

what color socks are you wearing? - NONE. MY FEET ARE COLD. FOREVER COLD.

how many pillows do you sleep with? - pft like 6.

do you have a job? what do you do? - No; I quit after being over worked, under appreciated, cheated out of my paychecks a few times, and no job still due to lingering health issues.

how many friends do you have? answered this already!

whats the worst thing you have ever done? - UHM. Idk i haven’t murdered anyone. I don’t like this question cause if i really try to answer it i’ll spiral into a frustrated, furious depression and self-hatred so… NOPE.

whats your favorite candle scent? i’ve got this candle i got from etsy that’s like… Scottish Highlands? It’s grassy and kinda MAGICY.

3 favorite boy names - i don’t really have favorite names?

3 favorite girl names - answered already

favorite actor? god idk. i’m so bad with names and celebrities. uhm. I really like don’t have a favorite. I LIKE a bunch. Benedict Cumberbatch; Freddie Highmore… uhm. uh. Hugh Laurie? 

favorite actress? IDK OKAY?? I LIKE a bunch but i don’t favorite?? I really like Gwendoline Christie. Uhm. Anne Hathaway makes me laugh. MAGGIE SMITH. how could i forget!??!

who is your celebrity crush? I LEGIT don’t have one.

favorite movie? CLUE takes the top spot most days.

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot more. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

money or brains?  personality, bitch.

do you have a nickname? what is it? not *really* but people online used to call me Chrys. My bf calls me ‘sweetie’ sometimes but he also calls the dog that so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how many times have you been to the hospital? - uhm. like the er? Once when I broke my arm. Doc in the box? Not since 2017.

top 10 favorite songs - PFT. Uhm. Jesus just let me die a little. Excluding all Disney; Not in any order:

No One - Biometrix

Danser - Lisandro Cuxi

A Single Moment of Sincerity (E) - Asking Alexandria (the band I was listening to when I designed my rockstar MC that I love so much)

The Annabel Trilogy (a series of 3 albums) - Alesana. Can’t pick a single song because they’re all a part of a huge story. Listen to them.

Chucky vs. The Giant Tortoise - Dance Gavin Dance

Anticoagulant - Sianvar

Ohioisonfire - Of Mice & Men

Coincidance - Handsome Dancer (Watch the Video for the love of god. THANKS ASH FOR THIS GEM)

Devil’s Backbone - The Civil Wars

Still Here - Digital Daggers (i’ve been listening it to a lot for inspiration for a new AU so… yup. That’s gonna be fun and painful)

do you take any medications daily? - yup

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) - i got dry ass skin it sucks

what is your biggest fear? - uhm… physical fear? idk. Heights is a big one that I developed? I used to not care but a while ago I was walking on a bridge and I just… looked over and got FUCKING DIZZZY with nausea and fear that I was gonna fall and almost fainted. 

how many kids do you want? - HONESTLY… one or two.

whats your go to hair style? - tried to brush but gave up so just threw it in a claw clip

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) - moderate? one story, four bedrooms. big ass yard though for the dog

who is your role model? - I don’t really have one.

what was the last compliment you received? - answered already

what was the last text you sent? - actual TEXT message? ‘as long as there’s someone with her overnight she’ll be okay during the day cause of the dog door and stuff. just play with her before you go to work and maybe hide some treats around the house for her to hunt for’ - texting my friend that’s gonna house sit while we go on a family vacation soon.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? - UH idk the age? i know I saw my mom writing scavenger cards though. My fam has never had a lot of money so to make Christmas more interesting my mom/grandparents (we lived with them till I was in 3rd grade) would make these elaborate scavenger hunts for me and my cousins to do to find our presents around the house or out in the barn or, on one memorable occasion, at the bottom of our pool! Good memories. 

what is your dream car? - one that RUNS and has badass AC and speakers

opinion on smoking? - hate it. please don’t do it around me. my bf’s family alllllll smoke all the time and i get so sick when i have to go on vacation with them and be around it for a long time. 

do you go to college? - i DID. I went to Culinary school and majored in Baking & Pastry

what is your dream job? - Author or Dog Trainer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? - rural as all hell. give me trees, cows, and horses. 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Not usually? but usually the people i’m with do. 

do you have freckles? Not on my face (except one) but i’ve got more like… on my arms and just randomly all over but i dont think ‘freckles’ would be what anyone thinks of when they think of me

do you smile for pictures? - only if i’m forced to be in them

how many pictures do you have on your phone?  - HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well. Before I got my new phone it was over 10k. Now though its only about 2k. 

have you ever peed in the woods? - Only when I was camping. 

do you still watch cartoons? - ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? - neither. but i HATE WENDYS and can tolerate McD’s fries and they’ve got ballin’ sweet tea so I guess McD.

Favorite dipping sauce? this honey dijon creamy thing at my favorite French restaurant but idk what is is.

what do you wear to bed? - t-shirt 

have you ever won a spelling bee? - YUP. 2nd grade.  

what are your hobbies? - writing, crocheting, photography, reading, uh… i forget what else

can you draw? when i was doing it all the time i did ok? but i’m WAY TOO IMPATIENT now a days to do it. 

do you play an instrument? - no but i wish i did :(

what was the last concert you saw? - i’ve never been to a concert. crowds are icky

tea or coffee? - tea!

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? - already answered this

do you want to get married? - Yes pls

what is your crush’s first and last initial? - (bf, but I suppose i still have a crush on him? is love considered a crush?) J. Y. 

are you going to change your last name when you get married? god yes. my current last name is my shitbag of a sperm doner and i hate it. my mom kept it after they divorced only cause she thought her maiden name would be too hard for me to spell but i would give anything to have that name instead

what color looks best on you? - idk. i prefer black but i’ve been told green and certain shades of pink/yellow. 

do you miss anyone right now? - not until i thought about it, thanks

do you sleep with your door open or closed? open so my pupper can go in and out

do you believe in ghosts? not until i’m faced with darkness and creepy things 

what is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing their food loud. people not picking up after themselves. people interrupting me (but not in the excited, OMG way. that we can work though) but in the ‘i don’t care what you’re saying i’m going to talk now’ way

last person you called` - my bf to discuss plans for his brother’s bday

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies n’ cream!

regular oreos or golden oreos? DOUBLE STUFF OF EITHER

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? FUCK SPRINKLES

what shirt are you wearing? a shirt that has my dog’s face on it :D

what is your phone background? - the art that Ash drew of Bokuto from my fic Just a Taste!!

are you outgoing or shy? - i hate talking to strangers but with my friends i’m pretty fucking loud and chatty

do you like it when people play with your hair? only people i know

do you like your neighbors? nope. he’s an asshole who neglected his dog and i wanna skin him alive

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i do my best to remember to do it at night but i always do it when i shower

have you ever been high? yup. 

have you ever been drunk? yup

last thing you ate? BIRTHDAY CAKE

favorite lyrics right now - idk? i guess the first lyrics that came to mind, even though they’re not my favorite, just ones that i like and were stuck in my head for a while: “All of the handsome fiction / will melt away / and when the flame burns brighter / Evaporate” Evaporate - Dance Gavin Dance

summer or winter?  WINTER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IT’S SO FUCKING HOT IN SUMMER I DIE EVERY DAY

day or night? both have their merits

dark, milk, or white chocolate? - all chocolate but i prefer white to just EAT. 

favorite month? uhm. uhh. November maybe? for NaNoWriMo. 

what is your zodiac sign - pftt.. i think i used to be a Gemini? i don’t believe in all that stuff 

who was the last person you cried in front of? - ….. my dog? but probably my mom and Grandmother when my GM basically said my bf didn’t love me and was a shit human being and i was a shit granddaughter for loving him. i was both upset and furious and i walked away from them. (my mom called and apologized, but i haven’t spoken to my GM since)

THERE ASH ARE YOU GODDAMN HAPPY. that took so long LOL (I hope the formatting came through I had to redo it on this tumblr page UGH)

#ask game

[outtathepressbox]

I am Tiger Woods

I am Tiger Woods

By Ivan Tolentino

April 14th, 2019, a date I will never forget. Sure I was excited about the long awaited premiere of Game of Thrones , who wasn’t?! However, yesterday will forever be enshrined in my memory as the day TIger Woods returned to glory. Prior to this past weekend only three dates have stood out to me. October 27, 1986, my beloved Mets winning their second world title. June 11, 1997 two words, flu game. Then there was June 14, 1998. Michael Jordan hit the shot of shots (no push off) and secured the Chicago Bulls six NBA championship. Now the Tiger roars again. You can say now I have my Mount Rushmore of sports memories.

Each date has meant something to me in a different way. Back in ‘86 my love affair with the Mets and sports as a whole began. The flu game left me in awe. I never seen anyone want something so bad and accomplish it, even as his body was riddled with the flu. That same man who left me in awe made me quite emotional in June of 98. As a 17 year old kid I knew it wasn’t just the end of the Bulls great run, but my childhood was ending as well. Nearly two decades later another legend and Nike spokesman brought out some heavy emotions in me.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that everyone loves a great comeback story. If I would of told you a decade ago Tiger Woods was the most beloved figure in sports , you would of fitted me for a straitjacket. Tiger was aloof , a robot , and at times came off as arrogant. Then it all came tumbling down. We all know how the decline started. During Thanksgiving weekend 2009 Tiger Woods reportedly crashed into a hydrant and suffered some minor facial lacerations. In the upcoming weeks rumors were circulating that Woods accident was a result of a domestic dispute. Mistress after mistress appeared allegedly reporting having an affair with Tiger. That was followed by an embarrassing press conference, a stint in rehab, sponsors dropping like flies, and the end of his marriage.

As if that wasn’t enough the most physically fit golfer of all time, became a walking mash unit. A laundry list of injuries began. A neck injury in 2010, sprained MCL and Achilles in 2011, 2012 a second Achilles injury, 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2017 back surgeries. As if having back surgery in four consecutive years wasn’t enough Tiger officially hit rock bottom. On May 29, 2017 Tiger Woods was arrested on a DUI charge. Soon after videos of his arrest were going viral online. It was easy to think that was the end of Tiger, it wasn’t!

Sunday April 14, 2019 one of the best redemption stories ever played out before our very own eyes. Fourteen years since his last green jacket , eleven years since his last major Tiger Woods was back on top. As I sat back and watched a rare feeling came over me. A feeling I haven’t felt in nearly two decades. Sports had awaken something in me yet again.

The beauty of sports is how it brings people together. As a child a baseball game was the only way I could connect with my dad. In my teens my friends and I would quarrel back and forth every Spring over the Knicks and Bulls rivalry. These days catching a ball game with friends and family is a great escape from everyday life. Yesterday’s finale of the Masters Tournament helped me connect with someone else….. me.

Admitally not many people may know this but I struggle moving forward in life. I’m not sure if it’s a fear of success or one of failure but I always seem to end up in the same place.I have many great qualities, for some odd reason ambition was not one of them. When I do accomplish things I always do it for the wrong reasons. Like proving a point to others, never doing it for myself. For years I constantly put others before me , and rolled out every excuse known to man. Never once did I take a hard look in the mirror.

My epiphany came several years ago. I received harsh but much needed criticism from someone I care for. That person looked at me and out of nowhere said “what are you doing with yourself, what a waste”. Even after that it took awhile to for me to snap out of it. I was in a dead end job, overweight, and doing nothing to secure my future. Lately things have improved tremendously. I work for two solid companies, one of them being my dream company. I am happily back in school, and I’ve made much needed changes to my health. Despite all that my demons were slowly finding a way to creep back in.

After landing a job at my dream company it only took two weeks for me to say , “that’s it”. When it came to school my assignments went from a challenge to a drag overnight. Handing things in on the eleventh hour. This past week I skipped the gym for practically the entire week. Oddly enough even with all my doubts and demons , I walk around supremely confident every day. This past weekend I learned something watching Tiger. I’m not confident I’m arrogant and full of excuses.

It’s easy to look at Tiger Woods and take one glance at me and say you’re nothing alike. He’s a dominant athlete, he’s famous, has countless endorsements, and well I’d say he’s doing slightly better than me financially. However, the brilliance of Nike’s marketing team stood out to me yesterday afternoon. Of all the countless Tiger ads it was his “I am Tiger Woods” commercial that aired nearly two decades ago that stood out. The ad featured children of both genders and all types of backgrounds uttering three words…. “I am Tiger Woods” I thought it was a clever commercial for selling golf equipment at the time, not realizing it had a deeper meaning.

Deep down we all are Tiger Woods. We all make mistakes and hurt the people we love, even ourselves. Anyone can confuse arrogance with self confidence . Arrogance makes you ignorant and hurtful towards others. Tiger humbled by his past mistakes has put his arrogance behind him. It’s a lesson I hope to learn. My arrogance has caused me to be unkind and that false confidence has allowed excuses to seep in. It’s time to put them to bed.

Through my own doing my body has broken down. I got two bad knees that sound like an attic from a horror movie each morning. My feet and my back hurt all because even with a much healthier lifestyle I’m still probably a good thirty pounds overweight. No back fusions , no countess hours of rehab like Tiger , so there shouldn’t be any excuses to become a better version of myself physically as well.

You can be the greatest golfer of all time who recaptures his glory days at the age of 43, or you can be a 38 year old man who admittedly has underachieved most of his life. It really doesn’t matter it’s never too late to achieve greatness , and just be a better person to yourself and those around you. Tiger was humbled and learned what was more important in life. It wasn’t the fast cars, countless women , and fame. It was all about the game his father taught him at the age of three and now his own children.

Mistakes will happen , nobody is perfect. Not even a guy who’s won fifteen majors, or the man writing this piece.

Don’t just come back to the golf course, reclaim your crown. Don’t just land the job, thrive in it.If you go back to school give it your absolute best. Have confidence NOT arrogance. Arrogance comes off as excessive confidence , but it reality it’s a lack of confidence. Confidence allows you to get back up when life and your own insecurities knock you down. I will never forgot April 14, 2019 it’s the day I realized I am Tiger Woods

#tiger woods #tiger #pgatour #pga #sportsblog

[charlie-minion]

365 DAYS OF JOURNALING

Greetings everyone! In the hopes of having a better year than 2017 was, I’m planning to start doing a daily journal in my blog as I did two years ago. I believe that experience helped me to understand myself better and to keep my mind sane. That’s why I decided to prepare these 365 writing prompts to get inspired during this 2018. I’m sharing them here in case any of my followers would like to try this journey either in their blogs or in their personal diaries. 

Enjoy! 

-Charlie :)

1.    January 1: Do you believe in New Year resolutions? If so what are your resolutions for this year?

2.    January 2: Review of 2017. Include your best memory of the year.

3.    January 3: What are you most grateful for?

4.    January 4: How content are you with your life at the moment? Grade it on the scale of 1 to 10. 1 being completely dissatisfied and 10 being completely content.

5.    January 5: What does “happiness” mean to you?

6.    January 6: You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room.

7.    January 7: If you could do anything professionally, what would it be?

8.    January 8: Can people change?

9.    January 9: What never fails to make you smile?

10.   January 10: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

11.   January 11: What’s the hardest thing you’re dealing with?

12.   January 12: I wish I had more…

13.   January 13: When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?

14.   January 14: What are you looking for in life?

15.   January 15: Who are the last people to tell you they loved you?

16.   January 16: If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.

17.   January 17: What’s the last thing you apologized for?

18.   January 18: On a scale of 1-10, how is your health?

19.   January 19: What mood were you in today?

20.   January 20: Write your own eulogy.

21.   January 21: What role does music play in your life?

22.   January 22: Do you have animals in your life? If yes, what do they mean to you? If no, why have you opted not to?

23.   January 23: Whose life do you think you’ve made a difference in?

24.   January 24: What is your superpower?

25.   January 25: What is annoying you?

26.   January 26: What would make a day perfect to you?

27.   January 27: What stresses you?

28.   January 28: What’s your relationship status and how do you feel about it?

29.   January 29: Where would you like to be in ten years?

30.   January 30: What are your views on drugs and alcohol?

31.   January 31: What is your zodiac sign? Does it fit your personality?

32.   February 1: What do you hope your future will be like?

33.   February 2: Write about your first love.

34.   February 3: Put your iPod on shuffle and write down the first ten songs that pop up.

35.   February 4: What were your highs and lows of the past year?

36.   February 5: Write a letter to your parents.

37.   February 6: Write a letter to your reflection in the mirror.

38.   February 7: Write a letter to someone who broke your heart.

39.   February 8: Murphy’s Law says, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” Write about a time everything did.

40.   February 9: List five celebrities that you’re attracted to.

41.   February 10: What is your favorite movie? What is it about?

42.   February 11: What kind of person attracts you?

43.   February 12: Someone/something you miss.

44.   February 13: Someone who fascinates you and why?

45.   February 14: Who would you love to trade places with for a day and why?

46.   February 15: What is your most treasured item?

47.   February 16: What’s your biggest insecurity?

48.   February 17: Something that you want to do before you die

49.   February 18: What is something that makes your heart break?

50.   February 19: Beach, mountain, forest, or somewhere else entirely?

51.   February 20: Your home is on fire. Grab five items (assume all people and animals are safe). What did you grab?

52.   February 21: Remember yesterday, when your home was on fire and you got to save five items? That means you left a lot of stuff behind. What are the things you wish you could have taken but had to leave behind?

53.   February 22: What was the last dream you remember about?

54.   February 23: A habit you wish you didn’t have

55.   February 24: Describe your relationship with your phone. Is it your lifeline, a buzzing nuisance, or something in between?

56.   February 25: A dead person you’d like to talk to and why?

57.   February 26: Go look in the mirror. What’s the first thing you notice?

58.   February 27: What songs make you dance?

59.   February 28: Name a cartoon you loved as a kid.

60.   March 1: Reincarnation: do you believe in it?

61.   March 2: Is there anything you wish had been different about your childhood? If you have kids, is there anything you wish were different for them?

62.   March 3: What superpower do you wish you had?

63.   March 4: Go up to your best friend and say this, “Write anything about me.” Use that as an entry for today.

64.   March 5: How do you feel about same-sex marriage?

65.   March 6: You have to learn a new skill. Do you prefer to read about it, watch someone else do it, hear someone describe it, or try it yourself?

66.   March 7: How do you feel about abortion?

67.   March 8: If you could write a book what would it be about?

68.   March 9: Write about how your favorite book makes you feel.

69.   March 10: Write about how your favorite movie makes you feel.

70.   March 11: Write about how your favorite song makes you feel.

71.   March 12: Write a letter to your future (or current) husband/wife.

72.   March 13: What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had?

73.   March 14: Write about your years in elementary and middle school.

74.   March 15: Write about your high school years.

75.   March 16: What is something you know you should do but don’t?

76.   March 17: What is your favorite color? How does it make you feel?

77.   March 18: List 20 things that make you happy.

78.   March 19: What’s your favorite animal? Why?

79.   March 20: Are you confident about how you look? Why or why not?

80.   March 21: Favorite T.V. show? Why?

81.   March 22: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

82.   March 23: Which fiction book/movie do you want to be true?

83.   March 24: If you were to die tomorrow, who would you spend your last day with? Why?

84.   March 25: What is one quote that inspires you the most?

85.   March 26: Are you introvert or extrovert?

86.   March 27: Things you can’t live without? Why?

87.   March 28: Many of us think of our lives as boringly normal, while others live the high life. Take a step back, and take a look at your life as an outsider might. Now, tell us at least six unique, exciting, or just plain odd things about yourself.

88.   March 29: If you were to spend the rest of your life with one person, who would it be? Why?

89.   March 30: What would you change about your physical appearance?

90.   March 31: What would you change about your personality?

91.   April 1: Describe the last nightmare you remember having. What do you think it meant?

92.   April 2: If you could learn any language which would you choose?

93.   April 3: Five ways to win your heart?

94.   April 4: Something you feel strongly about.

95.   April 5: Dig through your couch cushions, your purse, or the floor of your car and look at the year printed on the first coin you find. What were you doing that year?

96.   April 6: Things you want to say to an ex.

97.   April 7: What are your views on mainstream music?

98.   April 8: Five pet peeves

99.   April 9: What can you say about your family?

100. April 10: Five people you find attractive

101. April 11: What is something you always think “what if…” about?

102. April 12: What is something you’re proud of?

103. April 13: What is your view on religion?

104. April 14: A time you thought about ending your life

105. April 15: Write 30 interesting/random facts about yourself.

106. April 16: What was a moment where you felt the most satisfied with your life?

107. April 17: How have you changed in the past two years?

108. April 18: I was…

109. April 19: I am…

110. April 20: I think…

111. April 21: I wonder…

112. April 22: I wish…

113. April 23: I always…

114. April 24: I never…

115. April 25: I can’t imagine…

116. April 26: I love…

117. April 27: I promise…

118. April 28: What is your favorite season? Why?

119. April 29: Your highs and lows of this month?

120. April 30: Goals for the next 31 days?

121.  May 1: What is your favorite hobby?

122.  May 2: 10 facts about the city you live in

123.  May 3: Your favorite person

124.  May 4: Use the letters of your name to spell out characteristics you have

125.  May 5: 10 reasons why you love something/someone/someplace

126.  May 6: 10 favorite songs

127.  May 7: Who inspires you?

128.  May 8: What are some things you are looking forward to?

129.  May 9: I will not be defined by…

130.  May 10: Say thank you to someone.

131.  May 11: How do you love?

132.  May 12: What are some different roles that you play in life?

133.  May 13: If you could scream something at the top of your lungs right now, what would it be?

134.  May 14: “Who am I?”

135.  May 15: What would you do with three wishes?

136.  May 16: I wish someone told me…

137.  May 17: Do you believe in fate?

138.  May 18: What is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you?

139.  May 19: What do you love most about where you live?

140.  May 20: When you think back to your childhood, what moment first comes to mind?

141.  May 21: What makes you YOU?

142.  May 22: Which song have you had on repeat lately?

143.  May 23: How do you make decisions?

144.  May 24: What were you doing this time last year?

145.  May 25: What’s your favorite holiday?

146.  May 26: When you close your eyes and imagine yourself as passionate, inspired and joyful… what are you doing/creating in that moment?

147.  May 27: “What am I taking for granted?”

148.  May 28: What brings you joy?

149.  May 29: What sparks your creativity?

150.  May 30: What do you never want to forget?

151.  May 31: What are you crossing your fingers for?

152.  June 1: “Why did I do that?”

153.  June 2: What three words would someone use to describe you?

154.  June 3: What is something you don’t understand but you want to?

155.  June 4: How can you be kinder to yourself?

156.  June 5: If you had a free day with NO restrictions, what would you choose to do?

157.  June 6: What is your latest obsession?

158.  June 7: What gives you hope?

159.  June 8: What is the truth of who you are/how you feel?

160.  June 9: What is the last good book you read?

161.  June 10: What keeps you awake at night?

162.  June 11: What was the last brave thing you did?

163.  June 12: What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?

164.  June 13: What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

165.  June 14: If you could do it all again, would you change anything?

166.  June 15: When someone really looks into your eyes they see…

167.  June 16: Are you afraid of change?

168.  June 17: Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

169.  June 18: Write about a disagreement you had with a friend or family member — from their perspective.

170.  June 19:  Who’s the most important person in your life — and how would your day-to-day existence be different without them?

171.  June 20: What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

172.  June 21: What’s a secret wish you have?

173.  June 22: What masks do you wear?

174.  June 23: The things I love about my life are…

175.  June 24: What are your thoughts on cosmetic or plastic surgery?

176.  June 25: Describe someone who you would consider a hero.

177.  June 26: What five traits do you think people first notice when they meet you for the first time?

178.  June 27: Do you believe in love at first sight?

179.  June 28: You have an extra $100,000 to give away; you cannot spend it on yourself. What would you do with the money?

180.  June 29: What qualities make a best friend?

181.  June 30: Tell us how your month went by putting together a playlist of five songs that represent it.

182.  July 1: What is something you do well?

183.  July 2: What is something you are optimistic about?

184.  July 3: What do you think about people who are inconsiderate of others?

185.  July 4: What do you think of someone who has bad manners?

186.  July 5: What do you think of people who take advantage of others?

187.  July 6: I wish I had a million… Then I would…

188.  July 7: I wish I could forget the time I… because…

189.  July 8: I wish I could see… because…

190.  July 9: I wish I could learn… because…

191.  July 10: Would you rather live in another era or culture? Explain

192.  July 11: Have you ever felt lost? Literally or figuratively? Explain

193.  July 12: Describe your favorite band/artist. What makes them so great?

194.  July 13: What book setting would you like to visit if you could?

195.  July 14: In what ways do you sometimes wish to act to be a better friend, but don’t? Why do you find yourself unable to do these things?

196.  July 15: Where would you go to relax and why?

197.  July 16. What are things that you wish people knew about you without your having to tell them?

198.  July 17: If you suddenly gained the ability to tell whether someone was lying, would you use it?

199.  July 18: What foreign countries have you been to? Which ones do you want to go to?

200.  July 19: Tell about a habit that you picked up from a family member or friend.

201.  July 20: Nobody knows that…

202.  July 21: Think of five things that are usually endearing or touching.

203.  July 22: What is your take on soul mates?

204.  July 23: Dear past me…

205.  July 24: Dear future me…

206.  July 25: How do you deal with anger?

207.  July 26: How easy is it for you to forgive those who have caused you pain?

208.  July 27: What grand adventure do you wish to go on?

209.  July 28: How do you stand out from the crowd?

210.  July 29: How would you describe yourself?

211.  July 30: Who would you trust with your deepest, darkest secrets?

212.  July 31: Did you ever hold an unpopular opinion or belief? With what results?

213.  August 1: 10 popular things that you couldn’t care less about.

214.  August 2: Is there anything you “just know” and have no explainable or rational way to explain how you know it?

215.  August 3: What music album would be used for a movie about your life?

216.  August 4: What’s the worst mistake or decision you have ever made? What could you have done differently?

217.  August 5: Name a totally useless possession and how you came to acquire it.

218.  August 6: If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve?

219.  August 7: What has inspired you to hold on when all looked lost?

220.  August 8: In all honesty, how are you feeling today?

221.  August 9: What are the qualities that you possess that make you so wonderful?

222.  August 10: Name something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced.

223.  August 11: Would you rather live a short life full of wonderful memories or a long life with no significant experiences in it?

224.  August 12: If you could do one thing with no one finding out, what would it be?

225.  August 13: Do you like how people see you?

226.  August 14: Have you ever fallen out of love?

227.  August 15: What’s your favorite number?

228.  August 16: Do you have any tattoos? Do you want any? What do they mean to you?

229.  August 17: What is your definition of beauty?

230.  August 18: What’s the best present you’ve ever received?

231.  August 19: What’s your favorite part of your body?

232.  August 20: Would you rather have a relationship with love or one with sex? Why?

233.  August 21. Have you ever cried for no reason?

234.  August 22. What is your favorite month?

235.  August 23: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

236.  August 24: What is your relationship like with your parents?

237.  August 25: Do you have any nicknames? What are they?

238.  August 26: What is the worst injury you’ve ever had?

239.  August 27: Do you believe that true love never dies?

240.  August 28: What kind of person are you?

241.  August 29: How can you prove your love to someone?

242.  August 30: Do you have trust issues?

243.  August 31: Are you good at holding back your tears?

244.  September 1: What would your dream date be like?

245.  September 2: Write about your first crush. Who was it?

246.  September 3: What is your opinion on cheating on people?

247.  September 4: Get something off your chest.

248.  September 5: When was the last time you cried?

249.  September 6: What’s a sound you hate? Love?

250.  September 7: Do you have any strange phobias?

251.  September 8: Do you prefer being behind the camera or in front of the camera?

252.  September 9: What was the last lie you told?

253.  September 10: Do you believe in karma?

254.  September 11: What are your greatest weaknesses? Strengths?

255.  September 12: Are you easy to get along with?

256.  September 13: Name something that makes you happy.

257.  September 14: Name something that makes you furious.

258.  September 15: What do you say in an awkward silence?

259.  September 16: How many people can you tell just about everything? Who are they?

260.  September 17: What do you miss most about childhood?

261.  September 18: What is your favorite Disney movie?

262.  September 19: Which is your favorite Disney princess? Why?

263.  September 20: If you had the option to be rich and famous would you take it?

264.  September 21: Describe the best day of your life so far.

265.  September 22: Write a letter to someone contemplating suicide.

266.  September 23: What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

267.  September 24: What do you worry about the most?

268.  September 25: What do you want to do with your life?

269.  September 26: What has been your favorite concert you’ve ever attended?

270.  September 27: You have the choice to erase one incident from your past, as though it never happened. What would you erase and why?

271.  September 28: Take a quote from your favorite movie — there’s the title of your post. Now, write!

272.  September 29: Tell us about a time you did a 180 — changed your views on something, reversed a decision, or acted in a way you ordinarily don’t.

273.  September 30: What are you more comfortable with — routine and planning, or laissez-faire spontaneity?

274.  October 1: Do parties and crowds fill you with energy, or send you scurrying for peace and quiet?

275.  October 2: We cry for lots of reasons: sadness, pain, fear… and happiness. When was the last time you shed tears of joy?

276.  October 3: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex for a day? What do you think life would be like?

277.  October 4: Does a messy home (or office) make you anxious and cranky, or is cleaning something you just do before company comes over?

278.  October 5: Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a child. What became of it?

279.  October 6: Imperfections —in things, in people, in places— add character to life. Tell us about an imperfection that you cherish in yourself.

280.  October 7: Who would you like to have spend a day as you and what do you hope they’d learn from the experience?

281.  October 8: Tell us about a book you can read again and again without getting bored —what is it that speaks to you?

282.  October 9: Early bird, or night owl?

283.  October 10: Describe a little thing —one of the things- you love that defines your world but is often overlooked.

284.  October 11: Is the glass half-full, or half-empty?

285.  October 12: What’s the most significant secret you’ve ever kept? Did the truth ever come out?

286.  October 13: Tell us about a time where everything you’d hoped would happen actually did.

287.  October 14: When you gaze out your window —real or figurative— do you see the forest first, or the trees?

288.  October 15: Who is your favorite fictional character? What does it say about you?

289.  October 16: Tell us about the most surprising helping hand you’ve ever received.

290.  October 17: Tell us about the last time you were really, truly jealous of someone. Did you act on it? Did it hurt your relationship?

291.  October 18: When faced with confrontation, do you head for the hills or walk straight in? Was there ever a time you wished you’d had the opposite reaction?

292.  October 19: If you could travel to any location in the universe, where would you travel and why?

293.  October 20: What’s your dream tourist destination —either a place you’ve been and loved, or a place you’d love to visit? What about it speaks to you?

294.  October 21: If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill —no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation— would you do it?

295.  October 22: Write a review of your life —or the life of someone close to you- as if it were a movie or a book.

296.  October 23: Is being “normal” —whatever that means to you— a good thing, or a bad thing? Neither?

297.  October 24: When you’re unwell, do you allow others to take care of you, or do you prefer to soldier on alone? What does it take for you to ask for help?

298.  October 25: What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take but haven’t been able to? What would have to happen to make you comfortable taking it?

299.  October 26: Often, our blogs have taglines. But what if humans did, too? What would your tagline be?

300.  October 27: Where do your morals come from? Your family? Your faith? Your philosophical worldview? How do you deal with those who don’t share them or derive them from a different source?

301.  October 28: Tell us a moment or an incident that you treasure —not necessarily because it brought you happiness, but because it taught you something about yourself.

302.  October 29: Pinpoint a moment in your past where you had to make a big decision. Write about that other alternate life that could have unfolded.

303.  October 30: Finish this sentence: “When I look in the mirror, I …”

304.  October 31: Who is the one person you hope isn’t reading your journal entries? Why?

305.  November 1: What’s your favorite part about visiting a new place? The food? The architecture? The people watching?

306.  November 2: Think of a topic or issue about which you’ve switched your opinion. Why the change?

307.  November 3: Finish this sentence: “My closest friend is…”

308.  November 4: Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

309.  November 5: Write an anonymous letter to someone you’re jealous of.

310.  November 6: What bores you?

311. November 7: When was the last time you really stood out in a crowd? Are you comfortable in that position, or do you wish you could fade into the woodwork?

312. November 8: What would it take for you to consider yourself a “successful person”? Is that something you strive for?

313. November 9: Do you consider yourself funny? What role does humor play in your life?

314. November 10: You are receiving an award –either one that already exists or a new one created just for you. What would the award be and why are you being honored?

315. November 11: Are writing prompts a useful exercise, or do you find them to be too limiting and/or hokey?

316.  November 12: Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

317. November 13: If your day to day responsibilities were taken care of and you could throw yourself completely behind a cause, what would it be?

318.  November 14: Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?

319. November 15: What’s your biggest regret? How would your life have been different if you’d made another decision?

320.  November 16: What’s the one luxury you can’t live without?

321. November 17: Tell us about the last thing you got excited about —butterflies-in-the-stomach, giggling, can’t-wait excited.

322.  November 18: Tell us about a time when you should have helped someone but didn’t.

323.  November 19: If you were forced to give up one sense but gain super-sensitivity in another, which senses would you choose?

324. November 20: Are you comfortable in front of people, or does the idea of public speaking make you want to hide in the bathroom? Why?

325. November 21: Tell us about something you think is terribly unfair — and explain how you would rectify it.

326.  November 22: What makes a teacher great?

327.  November 23: Tell us about a talent you’d love to have but don’t.

328. November 24: How do you pick what to read? What’s the one thing that will get you to pick up a book or click on a link every single time?

329. November 25: How important are clothes to you? Describe your style, if you have one, and tell us how appearance impacts how you feel about yourself.

330.  November 26: Tell us about a time when everything seemed to be going wrong —and then, suddenly, you knew it would be alright.

331. November 27: Have you ever been addicted to anything, or worried that you were?

332. November 28: Have you ever spent too much time and effort on something that was a distraction from your real goals? Tell us about it.

333. November 29: When you’re away from home, what person, thing, or place do you miss the most?

334. November 30: Tell us about the harshest, most difficult to hear — but accurate— criticism you’ve ever gotten. Does it still apply?

335. December 1: Tell us about a time you couldn’t quite get your words or images to express what you wanted to express.

336. December 2: Tell us about a habit you’d like to break. Is there any way it can play a positive role in your life?

337. December 3: 6:00AM: the best hour of the day, or too close to your 3:00AM bedtime?

338.  December 4: Tell us about your first day at something -your first day of school, first day of work, first day living on your own, first day blogging, first day as a parent, whatever.

339.  December 5: What’s the character trait you admire the most about yourself?

340.  December 6: How do you react to conflict?

341. December 7: If you could create a painless, inexpensive cure for a single ailment, what would you cure and why?

342. December 8: Tell us about a favorite character from film, theater, or literature, with whom you’d like to have a heart-to-heart. What would you talk about?

343. December 9: Describe the last time you were surprised by the intensity of a feeling you had about something, or were surprised at how strongly you reacted to something you thought wouldn’t be a big deal.

344.  December 10: What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?

345.  December 11: Tell us about your favorite meal, either to eat or to prepare.

346.  December 12: Write about evil: how you understand it (or don’t), what you think it means, or a way it’s manifested, either in the world at large or in your life.

347.  December 13: What do you love most about yourself? What do you love most about your favorite person? Are the two connected?

348.  December 14: Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

349.  December 15: What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

350.  December 16: Share the story of a time you felt unsafe.

351. December 17: You get to choose one superpower. Pick one of these and explain your choice: the ability to speak and understand any language, the ability to travel through time, or the ability to make any two people agree with each other.

352.  December 18: Are you good at what you do? What would you like to be better at?

353. December 19: Tell us about a bullet you’re glad you dodged -when something awful almost happened but didn’t.

354. December 20: What will your goals for 2019 be? It’s never too early to start thinking about self improvement!

355.  December 21: Tell us about a conversation you couldn’t help but overhear and wish you hadn’t.

356. December 22: You have a secret superpower: the ability to appear and disappear at will. When and where will you use this new superpower?

357.  December 23: Tell us about a time when you were left on your own, to fend for yourself in an overwhelming situation —on the job, at home, at school.

358.  December 24: What’s your learning style? Do you prefer learning in a group and in an interactive setting? Or one-on-one? Do you retain information best through lectures, or visuals, or simply by reading books?

359.  December 25: Unexpectedly, you lose your job. (Or a loved one. Or something or someone important to you.) What do you do next?

360.  December 26: Who is the person in your life who can do no wrong? Describe this person and tell us why you hold them in such high esteem.

361.  December 27: What is your least favorite personal quality in others?

362.  December 28: What is your least favorite personal quality in yourself?

363. December 29: Share a story where it was very difficult for you to forgive the perpetrator for wronging you, but you did it —you forgave them.

364.  December 30: What has changed in the last year?

365.  December 31: What were the highs and lows of this year?

#writing #writing prompts #365 days of journaling #journaling #journal #welcome 2018

[lesbianbruabba]

all of them!

Anon you are trying to kill me but also like..thank you

1: Full name

I’m not stupid, I’m not putting my full real name out. lol

2: Age

Eighteen

3: 3 Fears

Being rejected, depression consuming my life, going deaf or blind

4: 3 things I love

My brother, my friends, music

5: 4 turns on

Gentle caresses, dirty talk, teasing, kink stuff

6: 4 turns off

Uhhh. Pedophilia, scat, incest, racial degradation? I’m going for the most hardcore bad stuff lol

7: My best friend

I have a lot but for simplicity’s sake my bestest is @lettiehigh

8: Sexual orientation

Bisexual

9: My best first date

Lol

10: How tall am I

5′2. correct question is how short am I

11: What do I miss

Special ham sandwiches

12: What time were I born

I don’t fucking know

13: Favourite color

Pink

14: Do I have a crush

I have multiple. 

15: Favourite quote

“They don’t sell cheese at the jewelry store” - my husband Felony Steve

16: Favourite place

My bedroom

17: Favourite food

Chicken nuggets from a hong kong mcdonald’s. They taste like shit in scotland

18: Do I use sarcasm

Sometimes but I’m not that good at it

19: What am I listening to right now

No More Time - Flor

20: First thing I notice in new person

Eyes

21: Shoe size

6.5

22: Eye color

Dark brown/black

23: Hair color

Dark brown/black. it’s gotten darker over the last few years

24: Favourite style of clothing

Frilly or bondage-y. Sometimes both at once

25: Ever done a prank call?

Nope

27: Meaning behind my URL

RPDR fic pen name

28: Favourite movie

RENT

29: Favourite song

Right now it’s Felony Reunion by Felony Steve

30: Favourite band

Waterparks, flor, All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, you can’t make me pick

31: How I feel right now

Lorny

32: Someone I love

My baby brother

33: My current relationship status

Single

34: My relationship with my parents

Rocky but overall it’s fine. It’s like an ongoing negotiation but I know they love me really.

35: Favourite holiday

I went to England when I was 14 with my school. 

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

None

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

Nipple piercings, I want a hip tattoo on my right hip because I haven’t self-harmed there and it’s a bit of a ‘sacred space’ now. someday I want a lyric tattoo, a flower tattoo (roses pls) and a watercolor one. I follow so many tattoo instagrams and they all look so pretty

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

At the very very beginning to make an aesthetic pastel blog. Got into roleplaying for a couple of years, made some good friends, some sad things happened, moved onto rpdr fic, evolved into the mess it is now

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

what ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Good morning snaps from my brother and copyright from @samrull

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

Nope

42: When did I last hold hands?

Not a thing I’ve done in a long time? 

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

Depends on whether I do makeup or not. 10 minutes if I don’t have to, 20-30 if I do.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

Nope. I don’t shave unless there’s a special event.

45: Where am I right now?

My bedroom in Edi

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

I don’t drink :)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

reasonable level most of the time. Unless I am feeling particularly apathetic/anhedonic/depressed

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

Back in Hong kong yes

49: Am I excited for anything?

Dan and Phil show, possible trip to Copenhagen, possibly seeing flor, doing fashion design or Danish at uni next year, improving my fluency in languages, my brother visiting Edi, going home and seeing all my friends, going home and seeing my teachers I miss them so much oh my god, possibly seeing one of my crushes again!!

Oh and I’m going to a convention on sunday so that’s pretty great too!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Yeah my brother we’re a bit too open

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

depends on how often I leave my room/spend time in others’ company that I’m not comfortable with. 

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

Tuesday at 7:30 pm

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

Cool, thumbs up dude. he kisses well

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

Yeah probably. lbr I trust people too easily

55: What is something I disliked about today?

I didn’t move from my bed much. but! I got a lot of drawing done and I studied some Polish so that’s a win. fuck you for making me think negatively :)

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

there’s this girl in denmark i owe a very long apology to. her. and maybe her cat.

57: What do I think about most?

My crushes, analyzing whether I have a pattern/type of crush, random etymologies, whether Russian is harder than Polish or I have a warped bias, whether my friends care about me or am I overestimating my place in their hearts

58: What’s my strangest talent?

I can say thank you in like 15 languages that counts right?

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

The wolf from little red riding hood

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

In front bc I am shite at taking photos

61: What was the last lie I told?

my meds are making me better

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting oh my god

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I sometimes hope ghosts exist. idk about aliens

64: Do I believe in magic?

No 

65: Do I believe in luck?

yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Not that bad for scotland tbh but chilly for late April

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Essentials of Polish verbs and grammar or something. google it

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

no???? who tf likes that what the fuck

69: Do I have any nicknames?

This one friend I used to have called me Christababe. Also people at school called me Lily

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

Self harm cut from a few weeks ago. Got infected (it’s fine now)

71: Do I spend money or save it?

Depends

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

With a tongue sure but not my own lmao

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

Yes a lot of it because my closet is next to my bed :)

74: Favourite animal?

Unicorn

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Eating ice cream and surfing the drag race reddit

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

I don’t know???? Johnson?

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

78: How can you win my heart?

Don’t manipulate me.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Married to Felony Steve

80: What is my favorite word?

Felony

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

Like my faves? @rippling-waves @samrull @lettiehigh @veronicasanders @lecafenoirx

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

Listen to Waterparks they have the best music. -dabs-

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

Nope

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Fluency in all languages

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“are you in love with me”. if asked by certain people. alternatively “do you like girls” asked by other certain people. 

86: What is my current desktop picture?

DDLC fanart

87: Had sex?

No but close

88: Bought condoms?

No but I have one from the Hive from a fresher’s package

89: Gotten pregnant?

no dear lord 

90: Failed a class?

Nope and I hope not

91: Kissed a boy?

Yes

92: Kissed a girl?

No, I wish

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

No

94: Had job?

Yes, barista and factory worker

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

Kind of? Not really? It was more of an argument but we’re friends now. I was a stupid thirteen year old 

97: Had sex in public?

No

98: Played on a sports team?

Lol, tell another one

99: Smoked weed?

No

100: Did drugs?

No, will not

101: Smoked cigarettes?

No, I hate smoking

102: Drank alcohol?

I had a few sips of white wine that were absolutely DISGUSTING

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

No

104: Been overweight?

Currently am

105: Been underweight?

I wish

106: Been to a wedding?

Yeah of distant relatives and teachers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

Try 14

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

I don’t watch TV, There’s no tv in my student hall and back home the TV is only for news

109: Been outside my home country?

Yep too many times tbh

110: Gotten my heart broken?

Unrequited love-wise yes

111: Been to a professional sports game?

Yes and spent the whole time reading (I was a kid and my mum couldn’t/didn’t find someone to babysit)

112: Broken a bone?

No, thank god

113: Cut myself?

Yes, trying to quit it

114: Been to prom?

Yep and I sang on stage too! 

115: Been in airplane?

Yep

116: Fly by helicopter?

No and not interested tbh

117: What concerts have I been to?

Waterparks, Avril Lavigne, All Time Low

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

Yes, quite a few times now

119: Learned another language?

Try multiple

120: Wore make up?

Yeah! Trying to do it more

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

No, too late for that now

122: Had oral sex?

No but I want to

123: Dyed my hair?

No but I want to

124: Voted in a presidential election?

No, HK doesn’t have presidential elections

125: Rode in an ambulance?

No

126: Had a surgery?

No

127: Met someone famous?

Famous in Hong Kong yes. Worldwide no. I’ve met the UoE principal though

edit: Iza reminded me that I’ve met both Courtney Act and Sasha Velour! 

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Yes but not like…creepy. for drawing reference I’ve gone through a lot of people’s social media this morning lol

129: Peed outside?

When I was like 4

130: Been fishing?

Not that I can recall

131: Helped with charity?

Yeah

132: Been rejected by a crush?

No because I’m too much of a wimp to confess. Maybe a few years later

133: Broken a mirror?

Yep, the one I use to wear my contacts (when I used to wear contacts)

134: What do I want for birthday?

Sex and liposuction and a corset and maybe someone to love me and a full happy day with no depression or anxiety

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

I don’t want kids. But if I did have kids, here is a list of nice names: Gracie, Ljudmila, Nico, Agneta (this one sounds really fucking familiar but I don’t know why), Anthony, Selene, Kristoff, James

136: Was I named after anyone?

No. My Chinese name means to have manners and to be gentle lmao. My English name is literally just the first thing I blurted out when the teacher asked me for my name. Wednesday was a name I look after Wednesday Addams though.

137: Do I like my handwriting?

I hate my Chinese and English penmanship it looks like shit but my Cyrillic looks GREAT

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

Barbie, I had Genevieve from the 12 dancing princesses

139: Favourite Tv Show?

Drag race, b99, ASOUE, the good place

140: Where do I want to live when older?

In Edinburgh

141: Play any musical instrument?

The ukulele and I think I still remember a bit of guitar

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

Cutting. Most of my scars are from cutting. A few from childhood bruises

143: Favourite pizza toping?

Cheese

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

Sometimes

145: Am I afraid of heights?

all the time

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

A lot worse than sneaking out buddy

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yeah 

148: What I’m really bad at

controlling my fucking feelings and not falling for peple

149: What my greatest achievments are

Sewing my prom dress, making an animation, juggling learning 3 languages (slowly) at once, surviving high school because honestly I didn’t think I’d make it to graduation

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

That bisexuality doesn’t exist

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Depends on how much i win but assuming it’s a big amount of money, split it and donate a third to charity, give a third to my parents, split the rest of it in quarters and give three quarter to my dad for investments and spend the last quarter

152: What do I like about myself

I have pretty hair and nice tits and I can draw (not well but I can draw), and I have a bit of talent in learning languages and fashion design

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@samrull without a doubt

154: Something I fantasise about

My brain giving me a good yummy serotonin

155: Any question you’d like?

….anon you didn’t put a question (this happens every goddamn time i s2g)

Thanks for the ask though this kept me occupied for the good part of an hour :)

#answered #anon #about me

[purplesurveys]

334

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? No, I was never into the series. I did watch the first movie and fairly enjoyed it. When was the last time you ran into something? As clumsy as I am, I don’t remember tripping onto anything recently. Do you enjoy dressing up? Not really. Do you live in the city or a rural area? City. I prefer it that way. Would you say you have a sense of style? I guess? I get good comments on my outfits most days so that must mean I’m doing something right.

What's your biggest fear? It changes everyday. For today, it’s knives. Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? No. That’s a big fear of mine too. Are you close to any of your cousins? Yes, I’m close to one of them and I treat him as an older brother. I used to be super close to my cousins on my dad’s side, but since we gradually moved farther and farther away from each other, the closeness faded and we don’t give each other anything more than hi’s whenever we come over to see their family. I wish we could change that soon :( Have you ever been lost in the woods? No, that’s the very reason why I don’t walk around in the woods. Where did you last travel? I went to Nasugbu if that counts as traveling. Do you enjoy driving? If I’m not stuck in traffic for 3/4 of the ride then yes. Unfortunately that’s the case in Metro Manila. What song did you last listen to? APESHIT by Beyonce and Jay-Z. If you have a job, how often do you work? No work, just university life for the next two years. What time do you normally go to sleep at night? It differs every night. There are nights I could stay up till 1 AM, some other times I’d rather be in bed by 9:30. Do you watch a lot of movies? I used to. I haven’t found the enthusiasm to watch new movies recently. Do you like Tom Petty? I don’t really have any comment? Would you rather have snow or rain? I love both. Do you own a lot of sweaters? No, that’s not necessary here. A couple of sweaters is fine. Have you ever tried rock-climbing? Like once. Ever ridden in a police car? Nope. Favorite decade of music? I don’t have a favorite decade.  Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? Both of my best friends have been around for more than five years. Even Sofie, even though I’ve drifted away from her already. Ever witnessed a murder? No and I hope to god that’s something I never have to go through. Do you care what people think of you? No, unless I look up to you. Does your room have a ceiling fan? I don’t believe that ceiling fans actually work, so no. Would you consider yourself poised? Most of the time. But when I get jumpy it’s really bad. Have you ever tried blogging? Yes. I never lasted more than four entries on every blog I’ve ever made my whole life, and I made a fuckton of Blogspots, LiveJournals, and Wordpresses. I do last on microblogging though, manifested by my being on Tumblr since 2010. Favorite television channel? I don’t use the television for cable TV anymore... Have you ever lied under oath? No. I’ve never been under oath. What are your religious views? None. Are you a romantic person? I am, but I think I would be so much more romantic if I had more money. My love language for other people is material things; that being said, I loooove spoiling the people I love because they deserve everything. When did you last change your bed sheets? A couple of weeks ago. Would you consider yourself a flirt? As a demisexual, the concept of flirting makes me uncomfortable, so no. At what age do you plan to be married? 27. I wanted it to be 25, but Gabie freaked out at how early it was so we agreed on 27. Do you eat a lot of junk food? Yes I love junk food. When did you last go on vacation? Last April. Are you resilient? Some situations. I’m easy to disappoint sometimes too though. Have you ever failed a subject before? I’ve never failed one in college and I don’t plan to. I cared less in high school so I did fail geometry, chemistry, and advanced algebra. Didn’t keep me from being admitted into the top university in the country though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If so, what was the class? ^ Mentioned it all there. I don’t remember if I also failed calculus or not. Do you wear more bright or dull colors? Dull. Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? Yes, and I know people who have succeeded. It’s a sad reality. What's your favorite quote? I don’t have one. Would you consider yourself mature? I guess, but I have my petty moments too. How many clocks are in your house? Two. There’s one in the dining room and the other one is on our cable provider’s set top box. Do you play any sports? Table tennis. Have you ever been injured in a car accident? Nope.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? Somewhere with snow and zero sun. Have you ever had highlights in your hair? Nope, not a fan. Favorite fast food restaurant? Jollibee. In what country were you born? The Philippines. Are your eyes more than one color? No, they’ve been dark brown for the last 20 years. Have you ever caught something on fire? I don’t think so? Hahahaha I’m scared of fire so I think I’ve been extra careful this whole time. What would you consider your biggest flaw? I hate criticism unless it’s told to me super super super SUPER gently. What do you think your best quality is? I’m really good at reading people so it’s easier to understand them and much easier to detect problems. Do you enjoy listening to others' problems? I don’t enjoy listening to someone who’s, say, talking to me about parental abuse, but I do become the dump for my friends’ problems regularly and it at least makes me happy knowing I’m being a good friend from that. Do you keep any plants in your house? My mom keeps the plants. I don’t. What is your mother's occupation? She works at a 5-star hotel as some sort of executive secretary or something. Her titles are always long so I don’t bother to know anymore. Do any of your friends like your musical style? I don’t share my music with my friends. What are you most looking forward to? Friday because this week is going to be shit. What was your favorite television show as a child? Hi-5 was my shit. Are you afraid of insects? Yep. Are you cold-natured? Most of the time. How old were you when you got your first pet? I was probablyyyy 5-6 when we got our first goldfish. Goldfish would remain our staple pet for the next 5 years. Did you/do you enjoy high school? I enjoyed the friends part of it. I had a REALLY great time in high school when it came to my friends; I was lucky to have found a home in my friend group before school ended. I hated everything else about it. Most of the teachers, the close-mindedness, the Catholic education, the unnecessary calculus, blegh. What would you say was your favorite age? Year 16 was unbelievably kind to me. What annoys you most about social networking? It’s a tie between so many people who subtweet and so many people who share their privileged, expensive, flashy-ass lives. Are you the center of attention most of the time? No I hate that. What are you currently reading? Guess what!!! I can finally answer this question!!!!! Gabie bought me AJ Lee’s Crazy Is My Superpower when we saw it at a bookstore while on a date. It’s a super rare find as it’s never in any store, so the second I saw it she swiped it off the shelf and handed it to the cashier. I’m like 30 pages away from finishing it, so I also started on Chris Jericho’s A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex. Both are wrestling autobiographies, which at the end of the day is my favorite genre of books. When did you last go to the library? Last Wednesday because I needed to get something printed. Are you ill at the moment? Nope. Never am. Do people tease you about anything? Yeah my orgmates impersonate me a lot. How late did you stay up last night and why? 12 AM because I had been reading Jericho’s book. Have you ever written poetry? Only when we had to pass a poem assignment in high school. I hate poetry and only tolerate it when my girlfriend reads a poem out loud to me. Curtains or shades? Shades. It’s what a lot of houses here use. How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? Just my mom. Do you tend to text a lot? I text Gab a lot. Ever lost a great best friend? Yeah. Sofie was pretty solid during the time we were inseparable, but I don’t know...it just dawned on me one day that we have drastically different personalities, and not in the opposites-attract way. Beyond our shared love for Audrey Hepburn, our personalities were worlds, worlds apart. I just knew it was going to have to stop somewhere. She was amazing though. At the end of the day I don’t think about her or miss her a lot, so I think that just proved my point. What is your favorite kind of flower? Whatever flower my girlfriend gives me. How tall are you? I’d say a little below 5′2″. Do you own any guns? Nope. What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? I haven’t christened a book with that title. Do you think you're living a good life? I’m not gonna deny the fact that I am privileged in a lot of aspects. But mental health destructs a lot of that. It’s what’s keeping me from having a completely good life. What's your least favorite part of the day? The morning. Are you an over-achiever? Nah, just an achiever. Have you ever won an award for a speech? No. Do you tend to curse a lot? I do. Have you ever played on the Ouija board? No but I’ve always wanted to! But only with the lights on and in broad daylight. Do you sleepwalk? I did it once when I was 9. Never happened again. Have you ever slept on the floor before? Many times. Are you a fan of public displays of affection? Only between LGBT couples hahaha. When did you last attend a yard sale? Years ago? I don’t really go. Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? Interesting. I’m always waiting for something exciting. What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? Get through my class without breaking down. Repeat for the next four days. When is your birthday? April 21st. Which is worse: going blind or deaf? I dunno, that isn’t really a competition and shouldn’t be treated as such. What was the best part of today? Welp it’s 7:42 AM so it’s too soon to tell; but right now I do have the time to finally take surveys again so there’s that. Do you attempt to stay away from drama? I like sipping the tea, but I don’t mix the tea myself. What liquid did you last drink? Water. I only ever drink water... Do you ever prefer to be alone? Some times. Occasionally I’d yearn for the presence of friends too. Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? No. Favorite Disney movie? Tangled or Toy Story. Have you ever been to the beach? Of course, but it’s been two months since I last went. :(  If you have, how many times have you been? Way too many times. I live in an archipelago so beaches are pretty accessible. What was your dream occupation at age ten? My old Grade 4 assignments would say that at 10, I wanted to be a writer. Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? No. In fact I’m really looking to gain weight in the next few years because I find myself way too skinny. I can’t wear a lot of clothes because of it; I have had to give away pretty culottes to my sister, who actually weighs like a normal person. Do you drink a lot of water? Sure; I love water. Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? Hardwood. Philippine houses never do carpet. Do you take naps daily? As much as I can. Not daily because I’m always busy during the day. Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? My family’s travel schedule is unconventional since we always plan our travels only for when my dad is home, so that we’re complete. That said, we don’t always book trips strictly during the summer. Depending on when he comes back, we can travel right smack in the middle of the school year, a day before my exams, etc. Do you know anyone who is colorblind? I don’t think so. Have you ever been a teacher's pet? I sort of have. I wanted to be my prof’s favorite in his art studies class because I heard he didn’t give 1.00′s (which is the highest grade you get in my uni). So I recited a lot, interpreted paintings even though I had no clue what I was saying, and had a memorized speech for our big Powerpoint presentation requirement. Ended the class with a 1.00. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Going to museums. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once or twice. Ever been to a tanning bed before? I don’t need that. 107,000,000 Filipinos don’t need tanning beds. Are you satisfied with your financial stability? I am satisfied with my *family’s financial stability. I don’t make money myself yet. Who is your favorite actor/actress? Kate Winslet and Kristen Stewart. Do you model your life after anything? No. What's the meanest thing you've ever said to someone? I’ve never gone over the edge with anyone because I know exactly how it feels to be told anything hurtful. Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? Yeah I say sorry to stuff when I bump into them. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream, or anything with cookie or brownie chunks. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? That’s sort of the dynamic of my relationship. If you could, would you have a pen pal? No. What color are the pants you're wearing? Brown, but they’re shorts. Have you ever had a stalker? Nope. What is your life philosophy? You don’t have to be blood to be family. Who last sent you a goodnight text message? My girlfriend, AKA the only person who sends me those things. Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? Yes for black, none for pink. Have you ever been in a hot tub before? Sure. What's your favorite comedy movie? It’s not limited to comedy, but The Proposal.

In which year were you born? 1998.

#survey #surveys

[btsmutimagines]

The Christmas Curse

*MERRY CHRISTMAS! I love you all❤️*

Word Count ➸ 1.4k

Maybe you’re just paranoid. Or maybe it’s the higher being telling you that you’re better off being single for as long as you live... If your best friend had heard you right now, he would say you’ve lost your mind. But to ignore the strange phenomena that occurs to you every single year on Christmas is difficult.

Every Christmas, the guy you have a crush on always ends up with another girl on at the annual Christmas party that your best friend hosts. It’s always around 12, moments before midnight when everyone shouts, ‘Merry Christmas’ and you notice the pair making out instead of cheering for everyone else when you spot your crush. It’s oddly specific but you can’t make this up. This year, of course, you have a crush, but you wanted to break this stupid Christmas curse, the name your friends coined it as, once and for all.

That is what brought you to your living room of your quiet home, everyone you knew was either at his party or somewhere that you didn’t want to be. You prepped yourself to spend Christmas alone this year, feeling a bit bittersweet about not having to buy a new dress, not having to practice how you were going to act around the boy you liked and how he would act around you or maybe even purposely being guided to a spot with some mistletoe...

You were getting ahead of yourself, your crush was out of your league, to begin with. His gorgeous hair that you wanted to run your fingers through, his radiant smile that never failed to make your cheeks heat up, how he acted as if there was nothing to fear when he was around and how he is never afraid to speak his mind. Of course, sometimes, that fearlessness got you two in trouble, but he would take the fall for you.

He felt so different from the other guys you’ve liked, him being so much closer to you than the others have been. You still had to secretly admire him, him catching you staring sometimes before poking your nose when you stared for too long. Or you having to remind yourself not to freeze when he is wrapping his arm around your shoulders in the hallways, casually greeting you. He walked home with you every day even though his house was in the opposite direction, he would give you his jacket as if were nothing and he always made sure you were okay. He was just too warm, too kind, too perfect for someone like you.

But is it too selfish of you to want him to stay by your side for a little longer?

You knew that the sun shone for everyone under its rays, no one could claim its warmth, its shine for themselves. For the sun will continue to shine as long as there are people who are below it.

You knew your answer before you even asked yourself the question. You had to push him away, let him continue to shine as he always has. You began to walk down different ways to class, went home earlier than usual, left his jacket in his locker since he gave you his combination and hoped he would just let you be someone he used to know. Of course, you knew he was looking for you still, your friends asking you why he was wondering if you were sick or if you moved because he hasn’t seen you. After all, how can a person even dream of belonging to a star?

You felt a tear fall on your hand that rested in your lap over top your thick blanket. You sniffled, wiping the stupid tears that wet your cheeks and turned on the television. Why were you crying as if you lost something that was not even yours, to begin with? It is not like he was going to come back to you, it’s been three weeks since you’ve spoken to him, his hair a different colour than what you were used to. He went back to his friends in varsity, falling back into the pattern he was supposed to follow as were you. It was nothing more than getting back to the status quo.

You kept repeating it to yourself as if you weren’t convinced yourself. But the stupid tears wouldn’t stop falling and the television wasn’t loud enough, and the number of times your hand wiped your tears were climbing steadily. How come you can’t stop crying? How come it still hurts? How come he won’t come back like he used to?

There was a loud knock on your door, you trying to compose yourself to answer it. You opened the door, the person accidentally knocking on your forehead when they realized you answered.

“Shoot, sorry.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Your eyes look puffy, have you been crying or something?”

“You’re ignoring my question.” “It’s only fair since you’ve been ignoring me for weeks.” He slipped past you as he always does, you reluctantly having to follow him into your living room.

“I-I-”

“I know you, Y/N, something’s up.”

“That’s none of your business.”

“As your best friend, it’s very much my business.”

“Can you even call yourself that anymore? We haven’t spoken in a month.”

“It’s been exactly 25 days, 15 hours and 27 minutes since you spoke to me, much less looked me in the eyes which you seem to be avoiding right now.”

“You’re acting as if this is normal.”

“Friends fight all the time.”

“We didn’t fight, and you know that.”

“Then why did we stop?”

“Stop what?”

“Stop talking. Stop acting as if the other doesn’t exist. When did we stop being friends, Y/N? Because I don’t remember why caused us to be like this.”

“I don’t want to do this.”

“You can’t keep running away from me.”

“Goddamnit, Namjoon.” It’s been a long time since you’ve said his name. You looked at him, him staring back at you and he stepped in front of you.

“Talk to me. Please.”

“I just didn’t want it to happen again.” Namjoon talked about how excited he was to host his party again, you remembering the stupid curse that plagued you. You have lived through it multiple times, but you had Namjoon’s shoulder to cry on at the end of the night. If you saw Namjoon kiss someone else, you do not know who else to turn to without looking completely pathetic and teased about the next day.

“What?”

“The stupid Christmas curse, Namjoon.” You plopped back on your couch, holding your head in your hands. It wouldn’t take a genius to find out what you meant but it was silent for a moment.

“You mean...”

“Don’t make me say it, Namjoon. I really can’t do this right now.”

“I left my house in the care of Taehyung just, so I could run over here to talk to the girl I’ve liked since middle school to give me a chance to start over.” You looked up, your eyes meeting his to scan for any signs of sarcasm or the word ‘joke’ or ‘lie’ blatantly written across his face.

“The girl you what?”

“Come on, Y/N, don’t be like that.”

“Today is Christmas, not April Fools’, Namjoon.” You stood up, scoffing at him. You knew he has an arsenal of horrible dads jokes but this joke is just plain cruel.

“I mean it. I like you.”

“Namjoon.”

“Close your eyes.” You did as you were told, cursing yourself for listening to him but you were still in the midst of processing what he just said to you. Kim Namjoon, the man that could charm anyone that he wishes, even the dean of your college, just said that he liked you of all people.

“Look up.” You opened your eyes, looking up and seeing his phone displaying a picture of mistletoe.

“Are you being serious right now, Kim Namjoon? A photo and not even the real thing.”

“Rules are rules. Nobody said that photos don’t count, now,” his arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him, “come here.”

He was sweeter than you imagined, the taste of his watermelon Chapstick that he swears by melting into the mix with his touch making your senses go into overdrive. You could tell he was a good kisser, his plump lips and the way his tongue knew how to dance with your own. You had to pull away, needing to breathe and he looked at you endearingly.

“I think the curse is broken.”

#bts smut #bts fluff #bts namjoon smut #networkbangtan #bts scenarios #bts #bts angst #bts namjoon fluff #bts namjoon #bts namjoon angst #namjoon smut #namjoon fluff #namjoon angst

[notaplayonmelroseplace]

So remember when I found a bunch of letters my great-uncle sent my granddad? Apparently grandpa kept writing to him even after his death... Letters under the cut: 

22nd of June, 1940

They told me you were gone. Lost your life Sacrificed yourself for your country. Figures it had to be you who’d do something like that. You’ve always wanted to be a hero, just like in your precious stories.

I’m being selfish now, but this family needed you more than your country. I needed you.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. It certainly can’t help you anymore. But you told me to keep writing. That’s the last thing you ever said to me. So I’ll do it one last time. To say goodbye.

Farewell, dear brother

27th of November, 1940

You’d think I’d be used to spending my birthday alone. Or at least without you. But I can still feel it, that annoying sensation that the picture is incomplete, that there’s something missing.

Wherever you are, I hope you’re happy. And if you’re watching over me, I hope you were pleased to see me shoving my own face in the cake. It’s not as fun when it’s not you who does it though.

I miss you.

6th of May, 1941

Happy happy birthday, dear brother. Mum is having a hard time, considering… but I chose not to think of today as the last day we’ve ever heard from you, but the day you hated spending alone, so I’m spending it with you.

I’ve picked up carving, and I’m quite good at it. I’m thinking if I get drafted soon, I can use those skills to carve things other than wood. Who said you were the only artistic one in the family? I like the feel of the knife in my hands, I like giving shape to the wood, creating something out of nothing.

I don’t think I can keep doing this. I sometimes find myself waiting for a reply for a letter I never even sent. I need to focus on myself, on training, in case things get worse and our side decides to put guns in kids’ hands too.

I hope you can forgive me.

P.S: I made you a wooden Wolf. Happy birthday.

21st of September, 1944

It’s been a long time, dear brother, but you’re the person I trust most in the world and there is a secret I cannot share with anyone else. I admit, I found it tough to pick up the pen and write again, but I can’t deny it feels… calming.

You’ve missed a lot, which is partially my fault and I’m too excited to catch you up so I will go straight to the point. I’ve met someone. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. I now understand exactly how your Captain Pike was feeling. When I look at her, at her big shining eyes, her gentle face, when I witness her kindness, and humour… I think I might be in love, dear brother. I’ve tried to deny it, after all, I am not the type of person to ever look at people this way, but her? It’s as if she’s looked inside my brain for my idea of perfection and decided to embody it. I can’t tell her though, not with the risk of having to leave her held right over my head.

I am at an impasse, and I don’t know what to do. Some heavenly guidance would really come in handy right now.

7th of September, 1945

It’s over. It’s officially over. They announced it everywhere so it’s true, although I still can’t wrap my head around it. The war is over.

It’s like I’ve gotten used to living like this, in constant fear that they’d come here, that I’d have to leave the home, to run away, or that sooner or later I would join the soldiers on the frontlines. I’ve made my peace with that, and, while terrified, I was ready. All I could think about was you, how, even when scared, you were still hanging on, still fighting. I couldn’t possibly let you outshine me, so I was ready and now… I don’t have to be anymore.

Five years. You’ve been gone for five years. The war is over. A part of me can’t help but think what would’ve happened had you lived. What would the world look like had one man be allowed to keep his life.

I hope that wherever you are, you can see this. This is what you fought for. This is what you died for.

12th of April, 1952

I did it. I got married. I still can’t believe it. That beautiful woman, that wonderful angel, said yes to spending the rest of her life with me.

Before her, before this, I genuinely believed I will be able to live my life happily on my own. I’d focus on my studies, then my work, I’d open a business, and my life would be full.

But, dear brother, how much of a fool was I? Being loved by her, the happiness I get from that, is incomparable to any other joy I thought I’d have in life. I feel invincible now, dear brother. Untouchable. It’s like I possess all the answers to the universe.

Right now I cannot imagine a life in which I wouldn’t love her. She is my everything. And she is mine, and I am hers, and the mere thought of that makes me so ecstatic I feel like I’m coming out of my skin.

For years I’ve thought my death would come from a knife, or a bullet, or an explosion. But I never thought what would truly kill me would be a smile. The sweetest, brightest smile. That was my end, but also my beginning.

10th of July, 1953

There’s a new bundle of joy in my life, a beautiful baby girl who looks so much like her mother. I didn’t think I had any more love to give, I thought my heart would be depleted, but somehow it feels like my love has become infinite now.

I wish you could be here, dear brother. I wish you could see all of this. I wish you could meet my love, hold my treasure, and most of all, I wish you could have all of this yourself.

There are days when the reality of you being gone hits me out of nowhere, and I struggle not to break down. I miss you terribly, and I’m still angry that you had to go, that you’re missing out on all of this.

I wish you are out there every day, and sometimes I can feel you with me though. Thank you, for watching over me.

I miss you and I love you.

23rd of August, 1964

Dear brother, I am afraid I have to stop this. As a working man with three(three!)kids, there is not enough time in my day to write letters with no destination.

I will think of you always, and rest assured that my angels, and my angels’ angels will hear the story of their uncle and great uncle, the hero who protected the country, the person who made me who I am today.

Dad has always been your hero because he fought in the war, but to me… you were my hero even before that.

You’ve done well, my dear brother.

You’ve worked hard.

I love you. Always.

 Tommy

#personal #i felt weird reading these #it was like i was intruding on his thoughts #but i feel like if i were in the same situation i'd keep writing too #i might start keeping a journal #just to write my thoughts out #it's not good to keep them all buried in your mind #the way he talks about grandma tho #i didnt think id ever want that but reading this made me all soft #they're still as in love with each other now as they were back then

[est-ligeia]

Respond from 1 to 134😅

1: NameAbril Gil

2: Agewhy

3: 3 FearsThe death of someone I really care about. That’s the only fear I can think of

4: 3 things I loveScented candles, chocolate, classical music

5: 4 turns onPale skin, piercings, long hair, blond hair

6: 4 turns offTanned skin

7: My best friendMary Anne

8: Sexual orientationHet

9: My best first dateNever had one, never needed one

10: How tall am I5"3’. I’m not tall 😕

11: What do I missMy mental health

12: What time were I bornwhat

13: Favorite colorBurgundy

14: Do I have a crushAlexi Laiho

15: Favorite quote“Dream as big as you can, it’s the cheapest thing you’ll ever do’

16: Favorite placeDon't have one

17: Favorite foodPasta

18: Do I use sarcasmAs a second language

19: What am I listening to right nowThe tv

20: First thing I notice in new personSkin color

21: Shoe size…

22: Eye colorReally dark brown

23: Hair colorLight brown, but I’ve dyed it

24: Favorite style of clothingVictorian goth

25: Ever done a prank call?Yeap, to a christian rehab center

27: Meaning behind my URLSomeone told me once I had the voice of a mermaid. ‘Ligeia’ is the name of one of the mermaids from the Greek mythology and I liked it and decided to use it

28: Favorite movieThe Danish Girl

29: Favorite songA Day in the Life by The Beatles

30: Favorite bandA lot. Can’t say just one

31: How I feel right nowHungry and sleepy

32: Someone I loveMy dog

33: My current relationship statusIn a relationship

34: My relationship with my parentsCool

35: Favorite holidayMy birthday

36: Tattoos and piercing i haveI don’t have any

37: Tattoos and piercing i wantNot sure if i want some. I like them in other people, not myself

38: The reason I joined TumblrCan’t remember. Nothing important though

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?What ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?Yeap

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?Yeap

42: When did I last hold hands?Can’t remember

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?Maybe one hour

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?Yes

45: Where am I right now?My bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?My bf

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Reasonable level. I can’t stand pretty loud noises

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes

49: Am I excited for anything?For tonight

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?I used to

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?Sometimes

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?I would get really angry and sad

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?No

55: What is something I disliked about today?Feeling like shit, as all the other days

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?A lot of people

57: What do I think about most?How much I dislike myself

58: What’s my strangest talent?Don’t have one

59: Do I have any strange phobias?Trypophobia

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Both

61: What was the last lie I told?Everything’s fine

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?It depends on who I’m talking with

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Maybe ghosts. Not sure about aliens

64: Do I believe in magic?Not really

65: Do I believe in luck?No

66: What’s the weather like right now?Warm

67: What was the last book I’ve read?The Analyst by John Katzenbach

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?Sometimes

69: Do I have any nicknames?April, Bri

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?I’ve never had one. I don’t want to

71: Do I spend money or save it?Both

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?Yes

74: Favorite animal?Panthers

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Straightening my hair

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Greed

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Any of the Beatles’ songs

78: How can you win my heart?There is no specific way for that

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Haven’t thought of that

80: What is my favorite word?Eternal, condemned

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr@luciferslittletoe, @satansbitontheside, @nerdgal-dorkski

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?Stop being so cynical

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?Nope

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?The power of Raven from the X-men

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?“Do you consider you have an actual problem?”

86: What is my current desktop picture?A cartoon of Gomez and Morticia Addams dancing

87: Had sex?Yeap

88: Bought condoms?No

89: Gotten pregnant?No no no

90: Failed a class?Zzz

91: Kissed a boy?Yeap

92: Kissed a girl?Yeap

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?No

94: Had job?No

95: Left the house without my wallet?Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet?No

97: Had sex in public?Kind of

98: Played on a sports team?I hate sports

99: Smoked weed?No

100: Did drugs?No

101: Smoked cigarettes?No

102: Drank alcohol?Yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?Vegetarian

104: Been overweight?No

105: Been underweight?I think so

106: Been to a wedding?Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?Yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Mmm, no

109: Been outside my home country?Yes

110: Gotten my heart broken?Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game?No

112: Broken a bone?No

113: Cut myself?Yes

114: Been to prom?No

115: Been in airplane?Yes

116: Fly by helicopter?No

117: What concerts have I been to?Not so many. Mostly metal fests

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Not specifically

119: Learned another language?Yes

120: Wore make up?Yes

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yes

122: Had oral sex?Yes

123: Dyed my hair?Yes

124: Voted in a presidential election?No

125: Rode in an ambulance?No

126: Had a surgery?No

127: Met someone famous?Yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network?Yeap

129: Peed outside?Yes

130: Been fishing?No

131: Helped with charity?No

132: Been rejected by a crush?Yes 😒

133: Broken a mirror?Yes

134: What do I want for birthday?I want to dye my hair again and look good

There you got, anon :)

[christenpressing]

you should do all 154 questions

“were you just trying to be annoying” -me

“yes, but I still want you to answer them” -camryn

1: Name- Julia

2: Age- 16

3: 3 Fears- heights, loneliness, failure

4: 3 things I love- horses, soccer, writing

5: 4 turn ons- passion, honesty, eyes, hair

6: 4 turn offs- egotistic, boasting, slob, straw hats

7: My best friend- @vanillabeanniall

8: Sexual orientation- gay af

9: My best first date- my only first date was when I went to panera bread

10: How tall am I- 5′6″ (”not” -Vasi)

11: What do I miss- playing soccer and @fantomedulivre

12: What time was I born- sometime in the morning idk

13: Favourite color- pastel pink

14: Do I have a crush- if you count the person I’m dating, then yeah

15: Favourite quote- she believed she could, so she did

16: Favourite place- the barn

17: Favourite food- mac n cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm- sarcasm? me? never

19: What am I listening to right now- “Vasi reading all my answers and laughing at me” -Vasi

20: First thing I notice in new person- their tone of voice

21: Shoe size- 9 (“big. then you put the smirking emoji in cause, you know, you’ve got a big dick.” -Vasi”)

22: Eye color- brown

23: Hair color- brown

24: Favourite style of clothing- athletic

25: Ever done a prank call?- I’ve witnessed a few but I’ve never done one myself

27: Meaning behind my URL- I love the uswnt and fifth harmony the end

28: Favourite movie- “The Lorax” but only with Grandma Norma (aka the only good parts)

29: Favourite song- Miss Movin On by 5H

30: Favourite band- Fifth Harmony

31: How I feel right now- amused (by Vasi, specifically)

32: Someone I love- Coach Crain

33: My current relationship status- taken 

34: My relationship with my parents- I’m really close with my mom, but I still have good relationship with my dad

35: Favourite holiday- Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have- I have my ears pierced

37: Tattoos and piercing i want- I want a tattoo of the female sign but a heart instead of the circle

38: The reason I joined Tumblr- Caylee told me to 

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?- yes

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?- yes (thanks @kellexohara) update: vasi just sent me a text saying “good morning bitch”

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?- no (it was @atypicaltomato)

42: When did I last hold hands?- Vasi pulls me by my hands a lot “because I’m slow”

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?- like thirty minutes

44: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?- I shaved them last night

45: Where am I right now?- in creative writing class at school

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?- my sister probably and maybe Vasi if she’d feeling nice enough

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?- reasonable

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?- I’m a child

49: Am I excited for anything?- for this week to be over

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?- @nowickipedia

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?- ALL THE TIME

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?- yesterday probably

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?- I would run away cause I avoid her at all costs

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?- myself

55: What is something I disliked about today?- I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?- Christen Press

57: What do I think about most?- the future

58: What’s my strangest talent?- “being a fuckin nerd” -Vasi “That’s not a strange talent. Lots of people are fuckin nerds” -me 

59: Do I have any strange phobias?- no

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?- behind

61: What was the last lie I told?- that I don’t know about my last lie

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?- video chat

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?- both

64: Do I believe in magic?- no

65: Do I believe in luck?- yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?- cloudy and 73 degrees

67: What was the last book I’ve read?- The Inferno

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?- no

69: Do I have any nicknames?- jj, jules, the wife, princess, “jack and the beanstalk” -Vasi

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?- I sprained my ankle playing soccer

71: Do I spend money or save it?- save it

72: Can I touch my nose with my tounge?- no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?- my pen and some girl’s shirt (Vasi says the shirt is red and it probably is cause I’m low key colorblind)

74: Favourite animal?- horse

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?- working on english homework

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?- Smith

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?- Top Down by 5H

78: How can you win my heart?- by being nice and honest

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?- Alex Morgan is the offsides queen

80: What is my favorite word?- iconic

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr- @vanillabeanniall @kellexohara @alexa-gamboa @christenpressure @tobogganssmile

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?- it’s britney, bitch

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?- no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?- teleportation

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?- What are your scars from?

86: What is my current desktop picture?- Christen Press holding two soccer balls

87: Had sex?- no

88: Bought condoms?- no

89: Gotten pregnant?- no

90: Failed a class?- no

91: Kissed a boy?- no

92: Kissed a girl?- yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?- no, but I’d like to

94: Had a job?- no

95: Left the house without my wallet?- yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet?- no

97: Had sex in public?- no

98: Played on a sports team?- I played on a soccer team named the Cyclones for ten years

99: Smoked weed?- no

100: Did drugs?- no

101: Smoked cigarettes?- no

102: Drank alcohol?- in moderation

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?- no

104: Been overweight?- no

105: Been underweight?- yes

106: Been to a wedding?- yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?- probably

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?- I once watched six hours worth of Bob’s Burgers with Vasi

109: Been outside my home country?- I’ve been to Jamaica, Mexico, and the Bahamas

110: Gotten my heart broken?- no

111: Been to a professional sports game?- I’ve been to a few football games, the 2016 nwsl championship, and a uswnt victory tour game. I’m going to the friendly against Russia on April 9th

112: Broken a bone?- no

114: Been to prom?- no

115: Been in airplane?- too many times

116: Fly by helicopter?- no

117: What concerts have I been to?- Train, Pink, Shania Twain, Idina Menzel, Kelly Clarkson/Pentatonix, and Fifth Harmony. I’m also going to Ariana Grande/Little Mix in April

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?- so many

119: Learned another language?- Soy en la clase de español tres

120: Wore make up?- only for horse shows

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?- no

122: Had oral sex?- no

123: Dyed my hair?- I dyed the ends red in 7th grade

124: Voted in a presidential election?- IM A CHILD

125: Rode in an ambulance?- no

126: Had a surgery?- yes

127: Met someone famous?- Alex Morgan and Kealia Ohai

128: Stalked someone on a social network?- who doesn’t

129: Peed outside?- when I was little out at the barn

130: Been fishing?- I used to go with my grandpa a lot

131: Helped with charity?- no

132: Been rejected by a crush?- yes

133: Broken a mirror?- I don’t think so?

134: What do I want for birthday?- a ticket to Okinawa

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?- a daughter and I like the names Jessica, Olivia, and Lucy

136: Was I named after anyone?- no

137: Do I like my handwriting?- I love it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?- my little ponies (the classic ones though)

139: Favourite Tv Show?- Girl Meets World, Parks and Rec, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

140: Where do I want to live when older?- Portland, Oregon

141: Play any musical instrument?- I used to play trombone

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?- I got one from playing soccer on artificial turf

143: Favourite pizza topping?- just cheese

144: Am I afraid of the dark?- no

145: Am I afraid of heights?- yes

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?- nothing that bad

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?- every chemistry test ever

148: What I’m really bad at- chemistry

149: What my greatest achievements are- I’m a three time national champion for horses

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me- everything ***** said to Vasi and it applies to me too because I love her

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery- save it

152: What do I like about myself- I’m not lazy and work hard at everything I do

153: My closest Tumblr friend- I have no friends (the closest would be @kellexohara but she’s my girlfriend so I don’t think it counts)

154: Something I fantasise about- the future

#asks

[dfroza]

Today’s reading in the ancient book of Psalms and Proverbs

for monday, April 27 of 2020 with Psalm 27 and Proverbs 27, accompanied by Psalm 40 for the 40th day of Spring and Psalm 118 for day 118 of the year

[Psalm 27]

A David Psalm

Light, space, zest—

that’s God!

So, with him on my side I’m fearless,

afraid of no one and nothing.

When vandal hordes ride down

ready to eat me alive,

Those bullies and toughs

fall flat on their faces.

When besieged,

I’m calm as a baby.

When all hell breaks loose,

I’m collected and cool.

I’m asking God for one thing,

only one thing:

To live with him in his house

my whole life long.

I’ll contemplate his beauty;

I’ll study at his feet.

That’s the only quiet, secure place

in a noisy world,

The perfect getaway,

far from the buzz of traffic.

God holds me head and shoulders

above all who try to pull me down.

I’m headed for his place to offer anthems

that will raise the roof!

Already I’m singing God-songs;

I’m making music to God.

Listen, God, I’m calling at the top of my lungs:

“Be good to me! Answer me!”

When my heart whispered, “Seek God,”

my whole being replied,

“I’m seeking him!”

Don’t hide from me now!

You’ve always been right there for me;

don’t turn your back on me now.

Don’t throw me out, don’t abandon me;

you’ve always kept the door open.

My father and mother walked out and left me,

but God took me in.

Point me down your highway, God;

direct me along a well-lighted street;

show my enemies whose side you’re on.

Don’t throw me to the dogs,

those liars who are out to get me,

filling the air with their threats.

I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness

in the exuberant earth.

Stay with God!

Take heart. Don’t quit.

I’ll say it again:

Stay with God.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 27 (The Message)

[Psalm 40]

A Joyful Salvation

For the Pure and Shining One

A song of poetic praise, by King David

I waited and waited and waited some more,

patiently, knowing God would come through for me.

Then, at last, he bent down and listened to my cry.

He stooped down to lift me out of danger

from the desolate pit I was in,

out of the muddy mess I had fallen into.

Now he’s lifted me up into a firm, secure place

and steadied me while I walk along his ascending path.

A new song for a new day rises up in me

every time I think about how he breaks through for me!

Ecstatic praise pours out of my mouth until

everyone hears how God has set me free.

Many will see his miracles;

they’ll stand in awe of God and fall in love with him!

Blessing after blessing comes to those who love and trust the Lord.

They will not fall away,

for they refuse to listen to the lies of the proud.

O Lord, our God, no one can compare with you.

Such wonderful works and miracles are all found with you!

And you think of us all the time

with your countless expressions of love—

far exceeding our expectations!

It’s not sacrifices that really move your heart.

Burnt offerings, sin offerings—that’s not what brings you joy.

But when you open my ears and speak deeply to me,

I become your willing servant, your prisoner of love for life.

So I said, “Here I am! I’m coming to you as a sacrifice,

for in the prophetic scrolls of your book

you have written about me.

I delight to fulfill your will, my God,

for your living words are written upon the pages of my heart.”

I tell everyone everywhere the truth of your righteousness.

And you know I haven’t held back in telling the message to all.

I don’t keep it a secret or hide the truth.

I preach of your faithfulness and kindness,

proclaiming your extravagant love to the largest crowd I can find!

So Lord, don’t hold back your love or withhold

your tender mercies from me.

Keep me in your truth and let your compassion overflow to me

no matter what I face.

Evil surrounds me; problems greater than I can solve

come one after another.

Without you, I know I can’t make it.

My sins are so many!

I’m so ashamed to lift my face to you.

For my guilt grabs me and stings my soul

until I am weakened and spent.

Please, Lord! Come quickly and rescue me!

Take pleasure in showing me your favor and restore me.

Let all who seek my life be humiliated!

Let them be confused and ashamed, God.

Scatter those who wish me evil; they just want me dead.

Scoff at every scoffer and cause them all to be utter failures.

Let them be ashamed and horrified by their complete defeat.

But let all who passionately seek you

erupt with excitement and joy over what you’ve done!

Let all your lovers rejoice continually in the Savior, saying,

“How great and glorious is our God!”

Lord, in my place of weakness and need, I ask again:

Will you come and help me?

I know I’m always in your thoughts.

You are my true Savior and hero,

so don’t delay to deliver me now, for you are my God.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 40 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 118]

Thank God because he’s good,

because his love never quits.

Tell the world, Israel,

“His love never quits.”

And you, clan of Aaron, tell the world,

“His love never quits.”

And you who fear God, join in,

“His love never quits.”

Pushed to the wall, I called to God;

from the wide open spaces, he answered.

God’s now at my side and I’m not afraid;

who would dare lay a hand on me?

God’s my strong champion;

I flick off my enemies like flies.

Far better to take refuge in God

than trust in people;

Far better to take refuge in God

than trust in celebrities.

Hemmed in by barbarians,

in God’s name I rubbed their faces in the dirt;

Hemmed in and with no way out,

in God’s name I rubbed their faces in the dirt;

Like swarming bees, like wild prairie fire, they hemmed me in;

in God’s name I rubbed their faces in the dirt.

I was right on the cliff-edge, ready to fall,

when God grabbed and held me.

God’s my strength, he’s also my song,

and now he’s my salvation.

Hear the shouts, hear the triumph songs

in the camp of the saved?

“The hand of God has turned the tide!

The hand of God is raised in victory!

The hand of God has turned the tide!”

I didn’t die. I lived!

And now I’m telling the world what God did.

God tested me, he pushed me hard,

but he didn’t hand me over to Death.

Swing wide the city gates—the righteous gates!

I’ll walk right through and thank God!

This Temple Gate belongs to God,

so the victors can enter and praise.

Thank you for responding to me;

you’ve truly become my salvation!

The stone the masons discarded as flawed

is now the capstone!

This is God’s work.

We rub our eyes—we can hardly believe it!

This is the very day God acted—

let’s celebrate and be festive!

Salvation now, God. Salvation now!

Oh yes, God—a free and full life!

Blessed are you who enter in God’s name—

from God’s house we bless you!

God is God,

he has bathed us in light.

Festoon the shrine with garlands,

hang colored banners above the altar!

You’re my God, and I thank you.

O my God, I lift high your praise.

Thank God—he’s so good.

His love never quits!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 118 (The Message)

[Proverbs 27]

Don’t brag about what may happen tomorrow

because you have no idea what it will bring.

Let someone else praise you;

compliments are always sweeter from a stranger’s lips than from your own.

Heavy is rock and weighty is sand,

but more burdensome than either is the anger of a fool.

Wrath is fierce and anger is a tidal wave of fury,

but who of us can stand up against jealousy?

Open rebuke is better

than hidden love.

Wounds inflicted by the correction of a friend prove he is faithful;

the abundant kisses of an enemy show his lies.

The person who is full has no interest in honey;

but to the starving, bitterness itself is sweet.

Like a bird that strays far from its nest,

so is a person who forsakes his own home.

The heart is delighted by the fragrance of oil and sweet perfumes,

and in just the same way, the soul is sweetened by the wise counsel of a friend.

Do not neglect your friend or your parent’s friend for that matter.

When hard times come, you don’t have to travel far to get help from family;

A neighbor who is near is better than a brother who is far away.

Study to be wise, my son, and make my heart glad,

for then your life will be my answer to anyone who hurls insults.

The astute see evil coming and take shelter,

but the stupid plow right on and then, of course, have to pay the price.

If someone guarantees a stranger’s debt, hold his garment as collateral;

if that guarantee is for the debt of a foreigner, make sure you get a deposit.

Anyone who blesses his neighbor with a loud voice early in the morning,

will find his blessing regarded as a curse.

A constant dripping on a rainy day

and a wife’s bickering are very much alike:

Anyone who tries to control her might as well try to control the wind

or pick up oil in his right hand.

In the same way that iron sharpens iron,

a person sharpens the character of his friend.

Whoever takes care of a fig tree will eat of its fruit,

and whoever cares for his master will be honored.

Just as water reflects a person’s true face,

so the human heart reflects a person’s true character.

Neither the grave nor destruction is ever satisfied;

the desires of people are never totally fulfilled.

The crucible is used for refining silver, the furnace for gold,

but praise is what tests a person’s mettle.

Though you grind a fool like grain

in a mortar with a pestle,

still his foolishness will not be separated from him.

Pay careful attention to your flocks,

and see to the welfare of your herds

Because riches do not last forever,

nor does one dynasty retain power through all generations.

When the hay is harvested and the autumn grasses begin to grow

and the herbs of the mountains are gathered,

Then the lambs will provide wool for your clothing,

young goats can be sold to buy a new field,

And there will be enough milk from your goats

to sustain you, your family, and your serving girls.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 27 (The Voice)