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mikuni14 · 2 months

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Dead Friend Forever - Ep 12

My opinion about the finale: tl;dr I liked the finale, although the execution could have been better 😄

My dream ending (a bit delulu, a bit fairy-tale): they all get punished (no matter how, it could be death), Tan comes out of it all safe and sound, it turns out that Non survived and 1) for some reason he couldn't contact them 2 ) Non survived and helps Tan (with his knowledge or not), he is the Ninth Person. Bonus: White, after learning about Tee's sins, falls out of love and leaves the house with Tan hehehehehehehehe 🤭

My expectations for a story with revenge/justice for wrongs come down to the aspect of sin, punishment and redemption. And what I like most is the narrative that: if you drag someone else 1 meter through pain, you then have to crawl 2 meters through the same pain yourself. And only then apologize. And if you don't do it, you have to accept that someone could and would do it for you, when you least expect it, only this time they will drag you 10 meters throug pain and probably involve innocent people close to you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And what I appreciate about The Glory and DFF is that they used this particular motif. Because isn't it true? If the boys had done what I mentioned above, that is, if they had acknowledged their sins, been punished and apologized, then NONE OF ALL OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. Because no, being sad is not a punishment, feeling guilty doesn't help Non, a late apology doesn't save Tan's family. Only decisive action and taking the consequences would have probably saved Non's family. And who knows, maybe it would have saved him too!

I really like what @befuddledcinnamonroll wrote about purgatory element in DFF. My littles addition: each of them committed a sin and would have avoided this fate if they had gone "through purgatory" and simply gone to Non's parents with information about him. None of them could do it, on the contrary, they kept lying about him. So Purgatory came to them and it brought its friend Hell with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Overall, I think hallucinations were a good solution under the circumstances. Because I believe that punished people should be aware of WHAT they are paying for. (that's why I don't like the fact that Por simply died as if in an accident, not aware of what is going on - although it could be seen as... taking away his chance to live his pampered, comfortable life.) Therefore, hallucinations are somehow a crash course in punishment lol If Jin, Phee and Tee stayed in this hallucination, that would also be ok, because it means that they will never be free from Non, who can randomly appear in the background at any time 😆 and they know it and have no way out of this situation. It's like a prison for them.

Random notes:

Fluke's visions and his eye gouging. Symbolic. Personally, I think he should survive in this condition.

Top should die as a service to the community.

Tee should survive and lose everything again, but this time more painfully, because White is probably a first thing that is all HIS. I think he, living after White's death, is *chef's kiss* (it would be even better if White hated him and dumped him for Tan). In general, I like the repeated motif: Tee didn't want to kill Non, he didn't want to kill White. No one cared about his wishes.

of course, I would like White to survive and become Tan's boyfriend, but I accept his death because it's in convention, like in Elm Street, Scream franchise, where innocent people died. I have a feeling that for White to survive, he would have to reject Tee in some way in order to be "rewarded" with life 🤔

so it was Jin who released this video… well, until the last moment I was sure that due to the different backgrounds of the laptops, it was someone else and Jin simply took the blame/ thought it was him because he was drunk. For me it made sense because he wanted to show this video to Non's boyfriend and not to everyone and I felt like he was drunk because someone else uploaded his video and Jin knew he screwed up. Ok, whatever. I liked his hallucinations the most. Jin must have seen what his actions did to Non and he must have been afraid of what would happen if it were him.

until the last moment I was counting on Phee working with Tan and I didn't want to judge his recent stupid antics. I must admit that I am disappointed *deep sigh* well…. Phee paid with his life because he wanted answers but showed no commitment. He could have just left the case, and instead he snitched on Tan to the enemy.. In the end, even Jin's confession didn't move him (that's why I was so convinced it was part of some plan). From Tan's perspective and the narrative, this amounts to betrayal, Phee betrayed Tan and Non and therefore had to be punished. (And shooting Tan when Phee couldn't shoot Tee knowing he got Non killed???? Bitch.)

I liked Phee and Jin's dynamic and was even rooting for them up to this point, as an interesting and potentially fucked up couple (especially if Phee was working with Tan all the time). Ultimately, their relationship turned out to be boring and banal.

The absolute winner of this series was Tan, he is the perfect hero, loved by the masses for his absolute dedication to the cause. He has a clearly defined goal and is working towards it, even if others and him pay for it. We may discuss this character's morality, but we cannot deny his unconditional commitment. And that just appeals to people. And that was what Non needed and never got. Tan sold his own soul to the masked blorbo devil to avenge Non and therefore the narrative shows him as the only one worthy of "saying goodbye" to Non, whom Non thanks. Because each of the characters, including those who should have helped him, i.e. parents, teachers and the police, as well as "friends" and "good boy Jin", in the end always found some excuse not to help him, there was always something standing in the way. For Tan, money (which he stole from his parents), law, social status, social norms, his own life and future did not matter. And that's why he could die without remorse (if he did, which I doubt).

What I didn't like, plot holes, mistakes:

what was it about the mafia uncle and his death? was this a very important to the plot character who just… died off-screen? Likewise, Perth's character, the woman who was investigating the gang… what about them?

an ax left outside, the camera pans over it, suggesting that it is important to the story. What for?

the first scene in the series with Jin and Non running away from the masked blorbo? where did it come from?

who was the 9th person?

did Tan really do everything himself? like the wire? we only know this from Phee's stories...

......who knew things he couldn't have known. I thought it was all part of his plan with Tan, but since we now know it wasn't, how did he know about the wire? about the poisoned and hypnotized Top? A GIANT PLOT HOLE.

total fuck up with clothes. For example, Non appears in visions wearing the shirt he died in, which no one but Tee could have seen him in

the clothes of the masked blorbo fighting Tan and Tee were different than those of Top

complete lack of White's history, which makes it unclear where his visions came from. Who is he (also, who is Top?)

what is actually real? As I mentioned, I don't like open, ambiguous endings

and most importantly: NON'S BODY WAS NOT FOUND, it was not buried with the respect, no one cried at his funeral. There is no one who remembers him. That's part of why I wanted Tan to survive. That there would be someone who would remember Non and remember him with tenderness and love. Non deserved at least this!!!

If you think about it, the ending itself is just funny and very old school. It immediately reminded me of the nightmare from Elm Street and Final Destination, when everyone thinks everything is ok, and then oops 💀

What has always surprised me in part of the fandom and creators is the equation of actors with characters and the making the entire series about the branding couples. It seems to me that DFF was losing because of this, forcing couples which was completely unnecessary, which in the end affected the quality of the story. In addition, the actors were criticized for the actions of the characters they played and even had to explain them, which is another level of bullshit to which fans can stoop.

Overall, I rate DFF highly. This is a really great series, the actors are GREAT, the series didn't fuck around, it just showed the brutal reality, it wasn't afraid of gore, bold sex scenes, or problematic topics. It wasn't afraid to kill most of the characters either. As a theoretically BL series, it paved new paths and crossed new boundaries. The ending could have been done differently, but I still liked it. Regardless, I rate it 9/10 💖

Remember, it's about THEM:

You will be in my heart forever, King 💖

#dead friend forever #thai bl #bl drama

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andreafmn · 8 months

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Bound | Chapter 3

Word Count: 4.2K Warnings: implied/reference SA, torture, murder, bodily harm

Summary: Rosalie always carried the resentment of not being able to fulfill the image of the perfect family she had in her head. But the universe had set out to grant her everything she could've hoped for in the most unconventional way and in the form of a witch. Can their love withstand the promise of forever, or will Rosalie and (Y/N) succumb to the grapples of time?

A/N: well, we continue with Rosalie's revenge. Still one more chapter to go for the murder I am sure we are all waiting for. The next chapter will also be from Rosalie's "POV" since I want to show the parallel time frames for both the reader and Rose, and there's a time frame when nothing important is happening for Reader, but it does for Rose. I literally made an entire timeline to make sure things add up. Anywho, hope y'all enjoy! Also, I want to say to any and all survivors of SA that you are not alone and what happened to you is not your fault, it never will be. I hope you have healed or are healing. And if you ever just need an ear to listen, I am here. 🤍

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It was astounding how different two lives that were connected could look so different in the same time span. Whilst (Y/N) basked in the presence of her best friend, in their love and closeness, Rosalie was going back to the Cullen residence after taking the lives of two men, with no knowledge that the witch that would change her life was less than four hours away. Had life turned out any differently, that was the closest their souls would have been to meeting. So close, yet so far.

Alas, neither knew of the existence of the other. Not yet, at least.

The blonde was angsty with revenge. Her veins itched with the need to rid the earth of those demons, to make sure no other woman ever fell victim to their claws. Her entrails churned and tightened. She needed them gone in order to finally sit with her thoughts, to allow the weight of everything that had happened to her to sink down her body.

“So you really killed them?” Edward’s voice broke through the silence of the room Carlisle had designated as hers days after the murders. “News is spreading about a psychotic killer that took the lives of the Hubert brothers. Essentially tortured them both without spilling a drop of blood. And apparently, some men have been receiving threatening letters from this killer.”

“What do you want, Edward?”

“Don’t you think it’ll serve you better just to move on? Killing those men will accomplish nothing in the long run,” he said. “Even if you think you’re ridding the world of these monsters, they will be replaced by three more. That’s the world we live in.”

“Just because you can hear my thoughts doesn’t mean that you know me,” she spoke through gritted teeth. “If you’re here to stop me from going through with my plan, then I will save you time. Carlisle could not get me to desist, and you certainly would not be able to.”

“I’m just saying, Rosalie. It won’t help you in the long run to take their lives. You’ll live with them in the back of your mind for eternity. It’s not an existence you’d want.”

“This is already an existence I don’t want, Edward. And their faces are already embedded in my head because of what they did to me. They took everything I hold dear. They took everything from me! The least I can do is take their lives. And I certainly don’t need a morality course from you.”

Edward’s words died in his throat at that moment, and Rosalie was thankful for that. The last thing she wanted was to listen to a man who thought he was better than everyone around him because he could hear their thoughts. It didn’t take long for her to figure him out. He believed he was above scrutiny. He was arrogant and entitled. And he made it all that easy to get over the fact that he did not find her attractive –not that she’d let him know. It was the thought that would protect everything she really felt.

“Well, then. If that is all, I will ask you to leave,” she smiled. “I have better things to do.”

Rosalie had nothing to do, in reality. As she let fear fester in the other three men, she did not know what to do with her days. She couldn’t leave the house because she was meant to be missing. She felt no desire to do any of the things she loved. Not even work on the 1928 Series 341-A blue Cadillac Carlisle had bought her to fix up. The only thing she could do was grow the fear inside the surviving monsters. To make sure they were sleeping with one eye open as they awaited their reckoning. Once that was over, she truly did not know what she would do with her life after.

What Rosalie did know was where Ulysses Levitt lived.

The boy came from new money, but he thought he was larger than life. Everyone in town knew where his family’s money had come from, and it wasn’t through the most legal of methods. Still, they were untouchable. Their money and their reputation made sure of that. They were safe from humans. Safe from the law raining fire down on their house and their businesses. But it didn’t protect their child from an immortal beauty dressed in the finest clothes. It didn’t keep him from becoming the next name on her revenge list.

It was still morning, but it was a cloudy day in Rochester, New York. The darkness in the sky cloaked the rains of the sun, allowing her to walk freely through the streets. Ulysses’ apartment was in the town center. And where it was usually bustling with people, barely a soul was walking the streets. The town was still reeling from the murdered Hubert brothers, the case too important to fall into the pile of cases that littered the station. There was too much money and too much influence surrounding these murders, and they needed to be solved so the people of Rochester could sleep in peace at night.

And they should have. But they did not know that the danger that lingered in their city was directed onto a very specific group of men –boys. Death had kissed the eyes of five men and had given Rosalie the power to execute Her will. If others got in her way… well, every war has its odd casualties.

Ulysses was her prey, and she was ready to go hunting.

In a sense, she pitied him. The boy had spent his entire life trying to belong. Old money mixed with new money like water and oil. It didn’t matter how much money his family had. It would never be enough to gain the same power the other families had. So, the boy –only a few years older than Rosalie– had done everything he could to fit in with the world around him. And when the events of that night were taking place, he had gone along with what his friends had told him to do. He had ravaged her body without her consent. Still, the Levitt boy was the only one of the five who had not even been able to look her in the eyes when the deed was done. He was the quickest to finish and the first one to go. And she remembered that grain of mercy.

But he had still done it. Ulysses Levitt was still the worst kind of monster.

She would grant him the same amount of mercy when it came to his death, though. Rosalie would grant him a quick and clean death. Well, with a hint of taunting. What fun would it be to simply kill him? His death would be swift, but that had nothing to do with the foreplay.

She wasn’t surprised when she found his apartment to be locked. An anxious Ulysses was talking to his father on the phone, asking if he had heard anything regarding the Hubert brothers’ killer. Telling the man that he was terrified about the threatening letters he had received and how he feared whoever had sent them would be true to their word. Unbeknownst to him, she was standing right outside his door. Granted, they were looking for a him, and they were looking for a human. Two things she was not.

Rosalie granted him the decency to end the phone call. For him to promise his father that he would call Mrs. Levitt later in the week. That he would go home on Friday for a family dinner. Things he would never get to do. But there were so many things she couldn’t do either. Not anymore. Because of him and his friends.

Just like him and the Hubert boys, she would no longer be able to have dinner with her parents. She wouldn’t be able to take a stroll outside in the daytime, feel the sun warm her skin, or even breathe the fresh air. She wouldn’t be able to plant roots in any city she would live in. And she would never be able to have children or grow old –what she had wanted most in the world. Well, that and her beauty. The only thing she would have for eternity.

But it was starting to taste bitter. Her beauty had gotten her everything, and her beauty had taken it all away. Still, she couldn’t dread on that just yet. Not until her job was done.

When Ulysses hung up the phone, she knocked softly on his apartment door. The sound of the wood echoed deep inside her ears. She covered the peephole with her hand in case he decided to look through it and ruin the surprise. But a man like him had no fears. At least, not ones he knew of.

“Hell… oh,” he choked. His eyes grew big, all the blood draining from his face. “Wha… how…?”

He tried to close the door on her, but just by reaching her hand out, Rosalie stopped it. She wanted to laugh at how scared he looked. He tripped going backward, scrambling on the floor for something to defend himself with. “What’s wrong, Ulysses?” she smiled sweetly. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Y-y-you were dead,” he stammered. “We… you were dead.”

“And I still am,” she said. “Don’t worry, you’re not going crazy, nor do you see a ghost. I can confirm that I am very much here in your presence.”

“B-but how? If you are dead, there’s no way you could be here. It’s not possible.”

“There are so many unexplainable things in this world, Ulysses. My new and improved life is one of them,” she grinned, though the words tasted bitter in her mouth. She hadn’t improved. She didn’t even want that life. But, it gave her the upper hand. It gave her just enough power to end the ones that had given Doctor Cullen no other choice but to turn her into what she was –for her body not to be a waste. “But I won’t bore you with those details. We have other things to attend to… well, we is too many people. I have other things –people– to attend to.”

“You killed Andre and Buck,” he gasped silently. “It was you that murdered them that night. And the letters… oh my god, the letters were from you too.”

“Guilty as charged,” Rosalie chuckled. “And after I am done with you, John and Royce will get what’s coming for them.”

Ulysses kept silent for a moment, his green eyes staring into the crimson red of hers. His heart had steadied, and his breathing was no longer sporadic. Somehow, being faced with inevitable death was calming him. “I deserve that,” he said. “So did the Huberts, and so do John and Royce. What we did to you was unforgivable, so I won’t stand here and apologize. I know what I took part in, and I know just how despicable my actions were. If someone had done that to my sister, I would have gone to the ends of the earth to make the ones who had done it pay. But, can I just ask for one thing?”

“And what makes you think you are deserving of a last wish?” she questioned. “I surely did not receive that commodity.”

“I know I am in no place to ask anything of you, nor do you have to grant me this request,” Ulysses responded as silent tears fell down his cheeks. “But, my mother, she’s sick, and I know it will kill her to find me here. All I want is to write her a letter. Tell her I’ve left town too ashamed of where our family has made its money. When she calls tomorrow, and I don’t answer, she will surely come here and find the letter. Then, I ask that you hide my body where she will never find it.”

“Why should I grant you this? What convolutes you into believing that you deserve that?”

“I don’t.”

His candor took Rosalie aback. All he wanted was to ease his mother’s pain because a runaway son was better than a dead one. And the look in his eyes, the way they pleaded without any more words, twisted something inside her. Maybe she was pitying the boy. Maybe she wished she could have done something like this for her own parents. Maybe it was the fact that he truly seemed to repent for his actions, unlike the empty apologies of Buck and Andre.

“Alright,” she asserted. “I will grant you that request. For your mother’s sake.”

With a sad smile, he scurried to his phone table. It took him maybe a minute or two to scribble down what he needed to say. Her eyes followed him as he packed away clothes and papers to make the lie even more believable. When he was done, it truly seemed like he was ready to journey out of New York rather than to the afterlife.

“Okay,” he sighed, tears still streaming down his eyes. “I’m ready.”

Rosalie stepped forward, closing the distance between them. She placed one hand on the back of his head and the other on his jaw. The coldness from her hands seemed to make him shiver, but other than that, he was as still as a statute.

“May your god have mercy on your soul, Ulysses,” she whispered, her eyes trained intently into his.

“Amen,” he seemed to say before the cracking of his neck filled the air.

His body fell limp onto the floor, thudding against the wood. But it was done. His green eyes were now empty, and his chest no longer breathed. Wherever his soul was sent to, she wished it a safe voyage.

The mere thought made her want to burst out in laughter. How she was wishing him a pleasant trip into the afterlife after what he had done. Even more, how she was fulfilling his last wish so that his mother could die with the hope that one day her son would come back. Those were the kinds of ironies the universe seemed to like to play.

It wasn’t hard to disappear his body. Dirt in the cemetery had recently been overturned, and it was easy enough to lay his body to rest there. The name on top of the grave would not be his, but at least he had been buried. No family to sob over his corpse, no missing posters littering the town, no one to mourn over. It was clean. It was easy. And it was much more than he deserved.

Rosalie discarded the suitcases in a garbage pile she walked by a week later on her way to the Cadillac Hotel, where John Harris was probably nursing a glass of whiskey in his room, packing his bags to head back home to Atlanta. Unfortunately, he would not return home to his money and family. He wanted to leave his mark in Rochester, and she would make sure it was a corporal statement.

Getting into the hotel was easy. As the day transitioned into night, more and more people trickled into the bar, hoping to settle their nerves while a killer ran free in their city. Unknowingly, that same killer walked amongst them in a place they thought they were safe in. And they were, technically. There was only one man amongst them who should have been trembling in his shoes, terrified of all she could do –all she would do.

She spotted him across the bar, trying his luck with a couple of girls not much older than her. And it irked her that he was not as scared for his life as he should have been. But they were paying him no mind. Thankfully, in there, they were safe. He was alone, and there were too many people around to reveal the monster that lay dormant beneath his skin. After they said no too many times and laughed in his face, he left his glass on the mahogany counter and headed for the elevators.

Rosalie thought she would lose him, but his scent had already permeated her nostrils, and she could hear the gears of the elevator clanking to a stop on the third floor. She sped up the stairs, quick enough to see him sway into room 314 and hear him lock the door behind him. Not that it would help him in any way, but he would open the door willingly.

The vampire ensured the coast was clear before she knocked on his door, standing just out of sight from the peephole.

“Who is it?” he called from the other side.

“It’s Clara,” she spoke in a higher pitch of voice. “Thought I would take you up on your offer after all.”

“I knew you’d change your mind,” he chuckled. “You girls always do.”

“Well, I couldn’t give you the wrong impression of us Rochester girls.”

“Sounds good, darling,” he said as the door clicked open. “Hel…”

His voice died in his throat as Rosalie pushed him inside. She sped until his body slumped against the armchair, and the light could hit her face. “Hello, John.”

“You’re… you’re… not…”

“I’m not Clara,” she grinned deviously. “Luckily, she was able to escape your disgusting claws. You get me for the night instead.”

“No, no, no!” John stammered. “You’re dead. I saw you… on the street. You were dead.”

“I’m honestly getting tired of people saying that,” she laughed dryly. “I am dead –in a sense. My heart is not beating, my lungs are not breathing, and my appetite… well, let’s just say it’s out of this world.”

“W-what do you w–want? I’ll give you anything,” he pleaded. Tears fell down his eyes, and it made her scoff. “Please, I am a good man.”

“It’s hard to say with all those clothes on,” she grinned. “How could you ever measure the caliber of a person with a simple look? Especially when your vision is shielded with so many pieces of clothing.”

“I’m sorry I said that,” he cried. “I was drunk and off my head. I promise I have never done anything like that before.”

“Somehow, I highly doubt that, John. See, you paint me as the type of man that takes what he wants when he wants it, regardless of who you hurt. You take, and you take until you are satiated and leave others to deal with the aftermath of your actions. You took everything you wanted from my body and left me there to rot on that street.”

“And I know how wrong it was of us,” he rambled. “But we were drunk out of our minds, and we weren’t thinking straight. We should have come back for you. At the very least, we should have left you at the hospital.”

“You shouldn’t have touched me in the first place,” Rosalie spat. “You should have let me go home to my family. You should have allowed my marriage to go through. You should have let me have the life that I deserved. Instead, you took everything from me.”

“Then, tell me what to do to fix this. Please, I know I can fix this.”

Rosalie smiled, unable to shed tears of anger. There was something he had to do, but it would not spare his life. No. It would only gift him with a few seconds more. “What you will do is pick up that phone,” she said, pointing at the ivory-white device. “You will call your pal, Royce. And you will warn him that someone is coming for him. That somehow, a man found out what you did to me and is picking you all off one by one. You will tell him that he should hide. To burrow himself in the deepest corner he can muster. And then, you will hang up.”

“And after, will you spare me?” John questioned, a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes.

“Oh, John, of course not,” she laughed melodiously. “But I’m saving Royce for last, and I want his death to be delicious. At least make my death count for something.”

“W-what if I called the police instead? They will tear down this door and stop you.”

“I’d be long gone before they even had a chance to step foot into the hotel. And you’d still be dead as well as Royce. Because, thanks to your brutality, I have become faster and stronger than any human in existence. I am invincible, John. Something I wasn’t that night. So, pick up that phone and call your friend before I lose my patience and snap your neck earlier in the schedule.”

With trembling hands, John lifted the receiver from the stand, rotating in the number she dictated. She could see the beads of sweat that were forming on his forehead; she could hear the way his heart beat frantically; she could almost feel the way his bones rattled inside his skin. It was an addictive feeling. The power she had over him, and she didn’t even have to move a muscle. All she required was the way she looked and the words she spoke. Maybe that was why they had done it. Simply because they could.

“Oh, hello, Mrs. King,” John said as the other line picked up, panic deeply laced into his words. “Yes, it’s John. I just had some quick words to say to Royce… I did hear about the Huberts. Such a shame… I didn’t know that Ulysses ran away… Yes, maybe one day… Yeah, I don’t have much time. Is Royce there…? Of course. Thank you, Mrs. King.”

Rosalie listened to every syllable he spoke, making sure he did not step out of script. She wanted to terrify Royce King with an invisible threat. She wanted him to feel like he was being watched –like he was being hunted. She wanted him to cower into despair, even if only for a few hours. She wanted him to feel weak.

“Listen, Royce,” John’s voice spoke again. “I don’t have much time. But someone found out about Rosalie just like we thought… I don’t know how, but they are picking us off one by one… He tried to get me tonight, man… Listen, just… you have to hide, okay? Find someplace secluded and stay there until shit dies down… Ulysses didn’t leave, Royce. He’s dead… Just hide. Tonight!”

The receiver hit the base with a loud pang, and John’s gaze fell back on Rosalie. The devilish smile she wore made his insides shiver; she could perceive that much. He looked frail and weak. Nothing like the monster that had ravaged her body without her consent. The creature that had used fangs and claws to take from her something that she was not giving.

“Good,” she applauded. “It’s nice to see a man that can follow instructions. Now, John. This won’t be messy, but it will be rather slow. And I’ll tell you exactly how I’m going to do it.”

“God, please, just spare me. Royce is the one that you want,” he begged, falling onto his knees before her. “He’s the one that should have protected you. Please, just let me go back home.”

“Do you think I can go home, John? Did any of you spare me and grant me the mercy of going home?” she asked through gritted teeth. “You didn’t. No. You took my life into your hands and watched as, minute by minute, it drained and slipped from your fingers. And that’s exactly how you’re going to go, John. I will wrap my cold, dead hands around your throat and cut out your life source until there is nothing left. I will look into your eyes until your soul leaves your body. And I will make sure I am the last face you ever stare at on this earth.”

John scrambled backward on the armchair. The piece of furniture clattered onto the ground as the man made a futile attempt to escape to his balcony. There was nowhere he could go. No one he could call.

“You can’t do this!” he wailed. “Not to me. You can’t do this to me!”

“Don’t you get it? The time for clamoring is over, John. Now, say your goodbyes to the world.”

In an instant, Rosalie stood before him. Her pale hands wrapped around his neck, just as she had described. He tried to claw at them, to hurt her enough to run. But his nails were met with stone-like skin –impenetrable. He could not even move his head at the grip she held him with. Only his arms and legs could reach for a desperate attempt at freedom. Something that would never come.

She knew it hadn’t taken long. But time seemed to have slowed as she watched the colors change on the man’s face. Her fingers barely squeezed, but his skin turned an array of reds and purples until it finally paled. And she swore she could tell the second his soul finally left his body. His eyes turned lifeless right before her own. They had emptied themselves, confirming the void that had been created inside of his body. There were no more pleas, no more tears, no more anger. He was simply another body. And just like he had done to her, Rosalie left his body on the ground for someone else to find.

He wasn’t the death that would satiate her. No. Royce was on his way to dig his own grave. He just didn’t know it yet.

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herbeloved82 · 9 months

Text

Filius Romae

“What was it like?” Daniel asked, catching Marius totally unprepared.

It was a quiet evening in Rio and the two of them were enjoying each other's company in the large veranda of the villa Marius owned there. A secluded and protected place where Daniel was free to explore and learn without the pressure of too many others around.

He was still anxious when vampires he didn’t know came visiting and Marius tended to cut those visits short for his sake but the truth was, since they arrived Marius realized he too needed a break from others.

He needed time to learn his new place in the world now that the Divine Parents were no more and with them his role as a guardian was gone.

“What?” He asked at the end, when Daniel didn’t clarify his own question.

“To be a Roman.”

For the first time since they came back from hunting, Daniel raised his eyes from the model he was working on and looked at Marius, locking their gaze, unafraid to sustain eye contact. That was one of the many little things Daniel learned to do again since he was taken in by Marius.

Marius stayed silent for a long time, thinking about the question and a time that was long gone.

“It was everything.”

It wasn’t even an exaggeration. Back then to be a Roman had meant so many things, not just for him, but for every man, woman and child born inside such a rich and powerful culture.

“It was a love that consumed you like fire. Rome was a jealous and demanding lover when she wanted to be.”

The Urbe had demanded blood and sweat and tears from every single citizen. She had demanded loyalty on the battlefield, where soldiers and leaders both died for her glory and to make her strong and splendid and Eternal.

Every Senator had known to die for her. Every soldier who dreamed of glory and wealth had known she would be the only one who could grant those wishes. Every general had dreamed to gain honor in her name.

Every citizen knew their place into the embrace of a strict and yet nurturing mother. Women and men gave children to her power, to grow her numbers and expand her borders beyond what anyone could have imagined possible. Rome had defied all the odds and changed the face of the world forever. Nothing was impossible if you were born as one of her beloved children.

“But she was also a mother who loved and cherished her children like it had never happened before.”

Everyone had found a place with her. It didn’t matter what Gens one belonged to, she gave everyone a chance to thrive and grow as long as loyalty to her was put in the first place, always.

Many had tried to gain power over her, to steal the command and bend her to their wishes and she always made them pay. So much blood had been spilled for her, in her name but also against her, contributing to her fall.

“Roma caput mundi.” Marius whispered, knowing that Daniel would hear him.

“She had been the ruler of the world that we knew. Her influence lasted for centuries even after she had lost her leadership under the attack of Barbarians and enemies she had once defeated. It had been because of the weakness of men that she fell, and yet she still shines as an example of power.”

Daniel listened to him, enraptured. He looked at Marius with love shining in his eyes and drank in every word he said as though he would have died without such knowledge.

“When you talk about Rome it’s like - you sound like a man in love.”

“Because I am, young one.” Marius admitted with a secretive smile on his mouth as he gently petted Daniel’s hair.

The younger vampire scooted closer to him and laid his head in his lap, silently asking for more cuddles.

“Rome was my first love. She taught me the love of a mother when I never knew mine, and the love a man shares with another when she presented me with her passion and the fire that ignited my blood when I was younger. She gave me the weapons of knowledge and allowed me to serve her as a soldier and a Senator, as a historian and a traveler. It is because of her that I am the man you can see before you.”

Daniel smiled, and for the first time his smile reached his expressive eyes. He was at peace and happy, which filled Marius with a sense of joy he rarely had felt in his life.

“So, how would you finish this sentence?” He asked Marius, waiting to see if he had his full attention.

It was one of the games Daniel liked to play when he was inclined to speak. He would start a sentence and let Marius finish it. Then he would start all over again until Marius took him to their coffin because Daniel forgot again that sun could be lethal for him.

“Which one?” Marius knew the rule by now and waited for Daniel to keep going at his own pace. At the beginning he made the mistake to rush him, and that had pushed Daniel back into mutism that lasted for months.

“I am…?”

Marius smiled. This was an easy one.

“Filius Romae.”

End

#Marius de Romanus #Marius de Romanus appreciation week 2023 #de Romanus coven events

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silverskull · 1 year

Text

Before This

You’ve never felt like this before.

It’s a cliché - and you hate them as much as the next well-read college grad - but it doesn’t make it any less true; You’ve never felt like this before.

Everything is the same - you get your morning coffee, you drive to work, you do your rounds, you meet your colleagues, you go home. Sometimes you make dinner, sometimes you go out for food. Everything is the same.

Your friends still love you, your roommate still pesters you, your dog still refuses to greet you with anything but the utmost enthusiasm.

And he’s still there.

In fact, that’s literally the only difference.

He’s still everywhere he used to be - in the corridors, at the meetings, on the scenes - but now he’s everywhere else as well.

He’s across your couch and in your kitchen; inside your car and on your desk; under your sheets and behind your eyes and surrounding your body and thoroughly, completely, irrevocably ingrained on your heart.

You started off very differently. Different feelings, different conclusions.

For some reason, they didn’t last as long as you thought they would.

It was another thing your friends never quite understood about you - how you could put up with him. It seemed his friends had similar thoughts about you. Initially, at least. Of course you won them over (because everyone adores you), but - it turns out - others could see that thing between you both, even if it took you forever to see it for yourselves.

There had been little moments now and then, obviously. He was a boy and you were a girl; how could there not be? But it wasn’t necessarily sincere. A roll of the eyes, or a witty one-liner, and you were done. Not a thing.

It was the other moments that stood out. His holding on to your ring. Your not-so-bright joke about “feelings”. Him giving a home to your beautiful dog. The way your heart dropped when you thought he wanted to marry someone else.

And, most glaringly of all, the fact that neither of you thought that kissing one another (amongst the most candles that you had ever lit in your living room) could be a Bad Idea.

Well.

You were both put soundly in your places after that.

For a minute, you gave in. Took the opportunity the situation presented. The privacy of the airplane bathroom. The suffocating fear running through your body. The memory of his heartbeat, his heavy breaths, his strong arms, all pulling you into the solid safety of his chest and back to loud and vivid life.

But you couldn’t let him know that, obviously.

Have him think any less of you.

You pretended it was something else.

He called you out on it, and all your fears of rejection and desertion flooded to the surface. (Looking back, you don’t even really know why. He has never, ever, abandoned you. Not in any way that really counts. He gave you learning opportunities, and he’s played his pranks, but since the first day you met him, you’ve barely left each other's sides.)

So you threw out some gibberish about biology and its effects.

His reaction threw you again.

Soft, enquiring, almost regretful. You thought.

And then you thought it couldn’t be.

And when you swallowed against your suddenly dry throat, you felt the ghost of his lips on yours; his breath, his tongue, his hand in your hair.

You still can’t believe you invited him into your apartment.

What was that? Who was that?!

Definitely not you. Not Lucy Chen.

It must have been some mix of Juicy and Sava, the one hour jetlag and the night-long watch over the unconscious thugs on the bedroom floor. The relief of being home and the knowledge that Rosalind was presumably long-gone from the city. His slicked back hair and his tired eyes and his self-deprecating smile. What happens undercover, stays undercover.

You hardly knew what you were suggesting, but there it was. Floating in the corridor between you.

And then he did it.

He came in.

You could hardly believe your eyes.

In fact, your eyes saw nothing but him. Filled to the brim with his soft smile, his stubbled jaw, his searching eyes. You could already feel his chest below your hands, imagine it without the light covering of his t-shirt; see your fingers slip beneath the band of his underwear, no wrist-ties in sight; his arms with their fake tattoos reaching for you, wrapping around you, pulling you into him…

But it hadn’t ended like that. Not at all.

And your fears finally came true: he sent you away.

And you left, willingly (or so you led them to believe).

Months.

Months and weeks and days and hours without him.

It was unbearably lonely.

Sure, you made new acquaintances. You developed your patrol skills. You found depths within yourself you hadn’t explored up until then.

You were surrounded by your friends - your family - and the people you had chosen to include in your life.

And you were still so alone.

It was an unfathomable conundrum.

Until the Sergeant shoved you both back together and neither of you had any choice but to face the music.

You were honest, as always. Honest, but lost. And confused.

He took you by surprise.

He was clear headed. He was forward. He was sure.

He wanted you.

He didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, but he wasn’t going to beat about the bush. He was sick of this. He was as lonely as you were. He missed you. He wanted you.

There were fits and starts - times you were both unsure what to say - but you had a shorthand, and you both found your way back there time and time again. You found your way to each other.

And, (you eventually realised,) you’ve never felt like this before.

It was amazing. It was honesty, respect, love. It was ‘girlfriend’ and ‘boyfriend’ almost from the get-go. It was jauntily dismissing any suggestions that you should break up, and casually chatting about your future children. It was serious. It was doing anything to make the other happy, and forgetting even the most important news of the day when distracted by a shared shower.

It was fear.

A dreadful, gaping fear.

Fear of losing him. Of being lost to him.

Of what that loss would do to the one left behind.

I can’t lose you.

As the rain buckets down around you, the night dark and shrill with sirens, that’s the only thought that goes through your head.

You can feel your hands sticky and slick, rain running red, red, red into the puddles below your knees.

Can’t

Lose

You.

…

You’ve never felt like this before.

(part 2)

(💖 and comments on AO3 are also love!)

#chenford #chenford fic #my fic

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qthebookclerk · 1 month

Text

Character name: Quirinus " Q" Quirrell Age & Birthday: 20 & February 14 Gender & Pronouns: Trans-Man, He/Him Occupation: Bookstore Clerk Blood status: Halfblood Previous house: Ravenclaw Previous Affiliation: NeutralFace claim: Jamie Raines Traits: Loyal, Observant, Soft- Cautious, Anxious, Full of fake confidence

CHARACTER SUMMARY:

[tw: transphobia]

Quirrell doesn’t remember much of his early life. There are plenty of pictures but none of them are of him. They are before he had things figured out. They are of a little girl who didn’t feel comfortable in her body and he prefers not to remember that.

Quirrell found the name Quirinus in a book and loved the way the character made him feel. He was strong, everyone liked him, and most importantly he wasn’t scared of anything. Quirrell was scared of just about everything and hoped embodying his favorite character would help. In a small way it did but turns out anxiety can’t be fixed from a name change.

He came out to his parents his fourth year. It didn’t go over well. In fact it went terribly. His parents outright denied it, refused to play along in his “game” and ignored it all together. They wouldn’t let him cut his hair, wouldn’t let him dress how he wanted, and only referred to him as their daughter.

At school he dressed in the boys uniform after much begging and pleading. He had a few friends that knew but for the most part people had no idea at all. It wasn’t easy but he tried his best to just push through.

As soon as school ended he left home and made the changes that felt right. The long hair was gone, he changed his name, he got himself clothing that felt right, and got himself a job in the best place in the world. A bookstore.

It was pretty easy to ignore the war when he tucked himself away into the store, avoiding everything. He wasn’t much of a fighter after all, he seeked knowledge after all. He wanted to learn so much and so he did. From a safe distance of war that is.

He’s been living as Quirinus for three years now and while the war is over he can’t help but feel like there is more to it. Could just be anxiety, at least that is what he keeps telling himself.

To help keep his mind off of it though, he’s found some false confidence in hookups and pretending he knows what he’s doing. He’s weirdly good at it, but too bad the confidence doesn’t stay forever.

#quirinus quirrell #history #riddikulus;intro

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evenstarglow · 1 year

Text

He slowed down time.

And with it came every moment that felt like forever with him. The gentle tug at his lips when he smiled and the soft reverb from his chest whenever he laughed with sparks in his eyes. The vulnerability he had shown at times he spoke of his past and the melancholia. He overflowed like a sink of rainbow; it slowly hit the ground and flooded my entirety.

He slowed down time.

And with it came my fragility and insecurities. I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt the bile creep up. Every thought haunted me how I would never be enough and how I was no more than but whom I currently was in his life; a bystander, a secret admirer, and a lover from afar.

He slowed down time.

And with it came the pain. He left unannounced.

“They said he’ll be leaving soon,” a friend whispered to me and I swear I felt myself crash down, slowly. And despite my knowledge that I was falling, it never really occurred to me that I was in a free fall. All I remembered was the bone crush.

“Where will he be going?” I asked but she could only shrug her shoulders as an answer. No one knew, especially not I. Who was I to even be someone he could tell such news, my audacity.

He slowed down time.

And with it came the longing. I missed him so. I continue to miss by a long mile. We did not have any contact with him. Although I don’t think I should expect to anyway. Who was I in his life anyway; a bystander, a secret admirer, and a lover from afar.

There was not one day when I did not wonder about him, as if I lay in a meadow with the sun rays warming my skin. Ever since he left every day I felt time go faster in a blur. Ever since he left I no longer imagine his face while everyone else in the background pass by like a blur.

“Do you miss him?” they asked.

“No.” I long for him, and it was more than the feeling of missing him. Come to think of it, even when he was here I missed him. Ah, right. He was never close to me anyway. It was probably why I missed him despite knowing and seeing him in the same room. It was because we were close, yet so far away from one another. And now at present that he no longer was in the same room, the feelings intensified and grew into something more. Something unbearable, something suffocating, something inescapable.

Yet there was something peaceful with his presence gone. Did I hold on to him so tight that I forgot to be with my own presence? Most likely.

Tomorrow came after several months of other past tomorrows. There were whispers in the group I could not make out.

“He’s back,” they told me with a nudge then added, “and he’s coming here”.

Time seemed to have stopped the moment he came through the door and once again, he slowed down time.

How he had such effect on my being was something I would never understand. All I knew was that he had the gift to make it seem like everyone else was nowhere to be seen, like he was the only one that mattered. Like he was the only one I was meant to see and focus.

He slowed down time.

And with it came the pain. This time around his presence confused and frustrated me. My head was empty on the way home but as soon I stepped foot inside the house, once again, there was the bone crush. Why did it hurt? I could’ve sworn I was feeling better without him. And that was probably the answer.

He left and it taught me to be with myself.

But then he came back as if he did not leave in a sudden and I was unaware of it, and the longing I felt came back.

Because my heart remembered how much I willingly held on to him. My heart remembered how I yearned for him, how I searched for him absentmindedly when everything went silent. My heart remembered how I loved him.

#arwyn: writes #angst #slow burn #fiction #bts angst #bts imagine #bts x reader #nct x reader #jungkook #jjk angst #bsd angst

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sablelab · 2 years

Text

Covert Operations - Chapter 224

SYNOPSIS: James Fraser reflects on the information his uncle just relayed about his godfather Murtagh Fitzgibbons. On the other hand, Madeline reflects on her failure to know that this operative had been sleuthing under her very nose without detection. Thus, she has to come to terms with the fact that her back is well and truly against the wall now, knowing that there will be no escape from her crimes.

N.B. This chapter contains some text which may be triggering for some.

Chapter 223(V) and all other chapters can be found at … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations

*This can also be read on AO3

THANKS for reading everyone. 👋

CHAPTER 224

There were none more surprised than James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp when Colum Mackenzie had dropped his little bombshell about Murtagh Fitzgibbons being his godfather. Jamie had mixed emotions although his facial demeanour showed nothing of his inner thoughts. His Sassenach was as pleased as punch that her friend and confidant had been keeping a watchful eye over the man she loved since he’d been recruited to Section One, as well as keeping her under his wing also. Everything Murtagh had done had proved that he did indeed have their backs from the get go. In her mind this was the best news of the day. Knowing that he had approved of their relationship too meant the world to her, for she loved him, not only as her friend but as a father figure especially having lost her own mother and father. It was such wonderful news, and Claire couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear.

Jamie however, was still piecing together the words spoken by his uncle and the Head of Oversight that were still resonating in his head.

“Undeniably this is intel that Jamie will need to digest Colum. His godfather you say? I could think of no better man than Murtagh Fitzgibbons to have kept your nephew under his watchful eye.”

Mr. Lambert was right on point when he’d said these words. It was so very true. He too couldn’t think of a stauncher ally than Murtagh Fitzgibbons. Jamie was also digesting the significance of Colum Mackenzie’s statements, and he was processing that his buddy, Murtagh Fitzgibbons was in fact his paternal godfather. This wizened old man had surreptitiously been keeping a watchful eye over him ever since he came into Section One. This indeed had thrilled him no end.

Claire reached out and squeezed Jamie’s hand. She was ecstatic. When he glanced over at her, she gave him the most wonderful, sweetest smile that had him grinning too. The look in her eyes was one of excitement, exhilaration and pleasure at hearing this knowledge. The looks they exchanged meant that she knew exactly what her partner would be recalling. It was undoubtedly all of the ways Murtagh Fitzgibbons was involved in their lives, and how he had kept a watchful eye over the both of them. They both couldn’t help but think over all the times that Murtagh had gone out on a limb for them, had been their confidant, their supporter and more importantly the one who had their backs against Madeline and Operations’ schemes and manipulations of them as a couple. He was their champion and now they both realised why that was so.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Murtagh Fitzgibbons seemed to be in his own unique way the soul as well as the eyes and ears of Section One. No one could deny the powerful and endearing presence of his character in their hell hole. He was the one other operatives, and especially his little buddy Fergus Claudel turned to in times of trouble or melancholy. Section was not an easy work place with the constant eyes of Madeline and Operations forever overseeing their every move. Murtagh had been around the block and he was fun and irreverent, but given that he had been passing on information to Colum Mackenzie, meant that he was also the biggest risk taker in Section One. No doubt his clandestine activities in and around Section had been what had kept him entertained. The fact that he had also been keeping a watchful eye over him was the best news he had heard in a long while. All those years before his Sassenach had come into Section, he had been lost in torment, and now that he thought back on it, he realised that it was Murtagh who had refused to let him sink further into the darkness of despair in this place. The munitions expert had been like a father to him. He had been a role model, taught him weaponry skills as well as teaching him martial arts, which were finely honed in the dojo with the Master.

It was little wonder that his Sassenach also gravitated towards him. Murtagh loved his Claire as much as he did, and that for him was perfect given that she had lost her parents in the line of duty. No doubt Murtagh knew them as they too were Section operatives working undercover. Not only had he been keeping him in his orbit, but Murtagh loved Claire as if she too was a daughter. It was easy to see why their appreciation of one another was mutual. To his Sassenach, he was her father figure as well, and one she also loved very much. Murtagh was the man whom she could talk to about anything and everything while it was he, who gave her sage advice.

Murtagh Fitzgibbons may have perceived himself as a simple man, but he was anything but. He underplayed his quiet intelligence, especially evident in his shrewd assessment of Operations’ and Madeline’s sinister motives towards him and his partner Claire. His plans to find things in Section that were off limits were sometimes foolhardy, and it was these hairbrained schemes that he dragged Fergus into as his wingman. However, his most endearing quality was in his loyalty to those he loved, a case in point … his volunteering to rescue himself and Claire who were in trouble at the monastery. These were the things that endeared Murtagh to his Sassenach, and in retrospect to him as well. He had always admired the older operative and how he would go out on a limb to help. He now knew the truth of his actions in doing the things he did, often without the approval of his superiors which was just the way Murtagh liked it.

His godfather had done this for him on many occasions particularly in his clandestine keeping an eye on him making sure that he was kept safe without revealing who he really was. Murtagh had streets smarts and weaponry skills, obviously perfected in Vietnam which he put to good use in Section. Like any good undercover spy, he knew when to tell the truth, when to lie, and when to keep his mouth shut. One of his most engaging and defining traits was his straightforwardness. He called a spade a spade.

The older operative was savvy, his depth of wisdom and perception in recognizing that in order to protect him, he also needed to protect his woman. When he needed someone to help to reverse the Gelman process on his Sassenach, it was Murtagh who worked with him to smuggle the sensory chamber out of Section without detection. It was Murtagh that had volunteered to go on their rescue and retrieval mission when he had not been in the field for some years. He obviously knew that his presence was needed and he wanted firsthand knowledge of what had happened to them at the monastery. Murtagh had seen the torture tapes of Claire and there was no way that he was not going to be at the forefront to rescue the both of them. He loved them both. They were family and he would do whatever was in his power and bag of tricks to help save them.

Then when he’d been shot, Murtagh had threatened to carry him if he didn’t do what he was told, but the most poignant of all was the concern on his godfather’s face when he had collapsed after putting Claire on the gurney back at Section. No doubt the anxiety that had gone through his mind, as to if he would recover or not must have been harrowing for him. He knew that Murtagh was a steadfast ally but he always went that extra mile to keep a protective eye on him. He was a confidant for Claire a keeper of their secrets, but no doubt the first to know that he had fallen in love with the most vivacious woman, Claire Beauchamp who had finally saved him from himself. Much as he wanted to save Claire’s anxiety because of what happened to her at the monastery, he understood somehow that he was the only one who could do this and help his Sassenach recover from her trauma on their downtime.

Murtagh Fitzgibbons was a keen observer and from his position in Munitions he kept a canny eye over all the comings and goings in Section. He was a romantic, 60-year-old bandanna wearing hippie of bygone years. No doubt he had dabbled in free love, smoked pot and been anti establishment in his day. He had witnessed his growing attraction and love for his Claire probably before he even admitted it to himself. He kept that secret to himself yet he realised now that Murtagh couldn’t wipe the smile off his face whenever they were together. Then, just this morning when he had burst into their bedroom interrupting their intimacy, Murtagh had sheepishly enjoyed his gate crashing, evident by the laughter he and Claire could hear when the door was closed. Murtagh was always his trusted one who knew where he and Claire were, when off the grid, and how to contact them when others couldn’t. This had happened time and time again but only when they were really needed back in Section, such as their early recall back for the Rising Dragons’ mission from their downtime in Australia. He was a caring man who loved deeply his friend Fergus, and his paramour Bóinne Rivière who had given the old codger an extra spring in his step.

Murtagh was an expert in his field of munitions and he relied on the calibre of his equipment and gizmos to successfully function well in order to carry out the extraction of their targets without loss of life to his team members. Thus, his godfather had kept him safe all these years. In retrospect, Murtagh Fitzgibbons the old Silver Fox, was the substitute father who kept a protective eye over him clandestinely done out of love and loyalty to him and to his father Brian. No matter how emotionally involved with his Sassenach he became as their friendship developed, he judged her by her actions and words, same as he did anyone else.

There had always been a measure of trust and respect between them that had never changed. That was evident when Murtagh had again volunteered to go to Macau undercover to capture Karen Yee. They had worked together in the casino to capture her and he had ribbed them when he and Claire had arrived in the Mahogany Room after their little tryst in the elevator. That moment had really tickled his fancy. Teasing them had been worth it though and it was all in good jest. Again Murtagh had wanted to be where the action was but more importantly he wanted to make sure that Karen Yee or Alvin Tang would not be able to hurt the two people he loved the most and help them secure their captives.

James Fraser remembered it all. Now that he knew that Murtagh Fitzgibbons was his godfather, he vowed that this rambunctious man would be more personally involved in his and Claire’s life than from a distance in Section. Murtagh was family after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Are you listening to all of this Madeline?” Mr. Lambert asked looking over at Section’s Head Strategist whose demeanour appeared to be anywhere but present in the room.

However, Madeline was not. She was still thinking about what Colum Mackenzie had said about who was the mole passing intel onto him for his dossiers on her and Operations.She was still reeling in shock about Murtagh Fitzgibbons, to pay much attention to what Quentin Lambert had said. In her head Madeline could hear his voice but the words didn’t compute. It was like she had taken a step back and was observing his dialog in mute. He was mouthing the words but she was not hearing them, for the information about Murtagh Fitzgibbons had knocked her for a six. This older operative had managed to pull the wool over her eyes, and fool her and Operations with his clandestine sleuthing and egregious actions.

She realised that at the moment that Murtagh’s name was mentioned, that everything started to make sense with his actions towards Jamie and Claire as well. She and Operations had missed all the clues he had been sending out to the universe. Murtagh did many things behind their backs that was against orders and protocol, and he always knew more than he let on. His affection for Claire was never hidden and his loyalty to Jamie was obvious. He was very good at portraying the affable old munitions guy playing the part so convincingly. He was Section’s old-timer, and because of his demeanour, Murtagh Fitzgibbons had been the perfect foil for suspicion and for going under the radar undetected. With Fergus Claudel bumbling along beside him he was able to keep his ear to the ground and his eyes on the prize. He was well liked in Section and people confided in him thinking that because he had been around for so long, he was harmless. She and Operations had fallen into this trap as well. This fact was a huge mistake for them both and especially for her because as Head Strategist, that finger on the pulse was not as firm as it should have been.

However, the thing that riled her the most was that as Section One’s Psychologist as well, she should have known everything about the operatives in Section … but obviously she did not. This was a blow not only to her expertise in her perceptive skills but an enormous blow to her ego. Murtagh had undergone many profile examinations but never once had he given any indication of duplicity. He was a stalwart member of Section albeit a cranky old bugger, and his position as Munitions expert was well respected. It was he who was responsible for making sure that all of the equipment that was needed was in top condition, for if his weapons failed, so too did the missions.

It was her job to analyze data on each individual as well as put them through performance assessments determining their suitability to still carry out their designated duties. Her job was to have her finger on the pulse in all that happened in Section One on a daily basis. Surveillance of operatives was a key component of her analysis but in Murtagh Fitzgibbons case, he never once failed any of these tests. Given his longevity in Section One it was more his attitude rather than his physical prowess that was assessed. Dealing with the mind was where she was most interested, and with Murtagh he seemed such a larrikin that she never once realised that a keen mind lurked under his jovial persona.

As Section One’s psychologist, she knew how all their people thought felt and behaved. She tested how they reacted to anxiety and stress through in-depth evaluation processes to determine the mental health of their operatives. She needed to assess and diagnose any psychological problems and behavioral dysfunctions amongst field operatives and other Section personnel. It was crucial that all active and non-active operatives functioned at their optimum level. If they failed her Psych Analysis tests, they were placed in abeyance or placed on a suicide mission, for they could not cut the mustard in Section One.

These tests were conducted randomly from time to time, and never once did Murtagh fail to perform well. They needed the best operatives who could carry out their orders to the letter. Her study of their mindset and behaviours was imperative to keeping operatives on their toes, never knowing when an assessment would be carried out. Her evaluations studied their mental processes and behaviour by observing, interpreting, and recording how operatives related to their orders and ability to carry out said orders on missions. Intel gained through mission tapes was a crucial tool in eliminating the chaff from the wheat.

Despite these in-depth tests, Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser had fooled her and Operations. That thought made her cringe as to how she had been so negligent in her assessment of him. His quirky disposition was a great foil to them both and they never once suspected that their Munitions’ Expert could be an undercover mole in Section for such a long while without detection. Once again,they had underestimated a crucial operative, because they overestimated themselves. James Fraser was an expert in this and always one step ahead of them. Now it seemed that Murtagh Fitzgibbons as well as Colum Mackenzie had also been. Obviously, it must have been something in their Fraser and Mackenzie DNA.

His expertise was weaponry and gadgets for operatives to carry out their mission tasks. She should have realised then that within that hippy body lurked the mind of the perfect undercover agent. No doubt on Colum’s many visits to Section was when Murtagh passed on the information to him. Hiding in plain sight right under their noses seemed to be his mantra for clandestine espionage work. He would have been unnoticeable, but stayed visible in a setting that he was able to go undetected. He was always chatting to his buddy Fergus Claudel as well, so perhaps he roped him into passing on the intel as well in encrypted files or the like. Fergus was after all a genius in technology, so perhaps they were working in tandem again right under their noses and in sight from the Perch.

In assessing Murtagh’s expertise in going on the retrieval mission and again to Macau to capture Karen Yee, the munitions expert proved himself to be competent and skilled. His quick thinking in saving Jamie was commendable. However, it was his and Fergus Claudel’s actions in Section when Jamie and Claire were in Med Lab that were suspicious and questionable especially when she found them in a classified area without approval. However, when nothing was found with the breach and nothing was discovered missing from the classified files, there was no way she or Operations could prove that Murtagh himself had been in breach of Section protocol. There was only one time that she could pin point his devious character was when he had called a spade a spade and Dougal had accused him of maligning his integrity. Murtagh’s retort had been telling now in hindsight. “Oh no, that would require you to have some for me to insult.”

Now because of Murtagh’s subterfuge and Jamie, Claire and Letitia’s testimonies, there would be no escape from her crimes. She was perplexed how Murtagh Fitzgibbons could have flown under the radar for so long without detection, but then again, his antics were looked upon as pranks and nothing serious. Little did she or Operations know they had a traitor within their midst. This was an abject failure on her behalf when her mantra was … failure was not an option.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Resting his eyes on Section’s Head Strategist once more, Mr. Lambert asked again a little louder this time, "Madeline? Are you listening to what Jamie has just said?"

Her mind was a blank for a moment as she had been lost in her musings about Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser. But it certainly all came back to her with a vengeance when he continued speaking. Mr. Lambert was not sure if Madeline was deliberately ignoring his questions, so he added more information for clarification and to jog her memory as she seemed to have tuned out.

“James Fraser mentioned yours and Operations’ ambivalence when he and Claire returned to Section after successfully reversing the Gelman procedure. What do you have to say about that?”

She remembered. She remembered everything about the Gelman process and their victorious return after the reversal. Raising her head, Madeline looked in his direction, so he continued.

“Are you at all squirming at what you put Claire Beauchamp through in administering the Gelman procedure? For what she had to endure to be detoxed from the program to return her feelings and free will? Have you anything at all to say in contrition for what you did to her?”

Madeline lowered her eyes. What could she possibly say that would in any way appease a furious uncle, let alone the Head of all the Sections? All she needed to hear was the punishment she would receive.

“This is not how Centre or Oversight views leadership Madeline, and it’s certainly not the leadership for Section One! What you have put these two operatives through over time is nothing less than shameful. It is a vindictive pay back to operatives who performed their duties to the utmost perfection. Yet you and Dougal saw fit to punish them in the cruelest of ways for your own warped enjoyment.” Stoically, Madeline evaded his statements in silence, then with an emotionless look on her face she finally replied. “Well, it seems that Colum Mackenzie has been busy with his dossiers and the testimony from Claire, Jamie and Letitia seems farcical in content as well. However, I'm not familiar with all the incidents that have been mentioned, but if you say so, what recourse do I have? You have decided that I am guilty and nothing will change that.”

“Yes, all we have heard have been an unfortunate collection of incidents,” was Quentin Lambert’s cynical response. “I would have expected better from you and of Operations but alas that was not to be. The dereliction of duty, your disregard for the leadership role in Section One and your devious mishandling of your operatives was abominable. To say Centre and Oversight is disappointed is an understatement.”

Madeline had to reply to Mr. Lambert’s declaration. “How dare you have the presumption to judge my contribution to this organization on such flimsy evidence?”

“It's not just only the procedures and manipulation of your operatives, in particular Claire Beauchamp and James Fraser, Madeline. It was yours and Dougal’s failure to run Section as it should have been. Section had a specific purpose, but you both used it as a way to gain personal power and domination. Your position as leaders was to lead, not to strengthen your supremacy. Not only that, but the relationship between you and Operations has concerned us for some time. Colum’s dossiers only highlighted that fact and brought the truth to the surface.” “I really don't need to hear what some ad hoc internal affairs Pooh-Bah thinks of my work. Get to the punch line Mr. Lambert!” “If you insist. There's no place for you or Dougal Mackenzie at Section One. Not now…. Not ever.”

Stunned into silence she glared at the Head of Centre. “That’s yours and Colum’s problem. You both never understood what we were trying to do at Section One!”

“Oh, we have heard exactly what you and Operations had planned for Section One Madeline and there is no denying the facts.”

“Facts can be interpreted many ways that would favour your assumptions and not ours. So, is that fair? You have only the word of the Head of Oversight whose contempt for Operations and I is well known. So, I am all ears for you to tell me what you have in mind for Dougal and I.” “Why don't you tell me instead Madeline? You’re a psychologist and strategist. You seem particularly good at reading people’s minds!” “Let me guess: you want to make a point. You want to make an example of us.” “Very good, you’re beginning to understand that I have but one choice. Yours and Operations’ downfall began when you realized that Claire Beauchamp and James Fraser were better than you were. So, you tried to kill Claire. When that didn't work, you tried to break them up. When that didn't work either, you tried to erase Claire’s memory of her partner Jamie. If you would have used half as much energy just trying to get along with them, maybe you wouldn't have ended up the way you did.” “What do you want me to say? I'll water my compassion so you can see it grow?” Ignoring Madeline’s tirade he said, “It is too late for that I’m afraid. You understand, in the end, this decision is mine and mine alone. You are both to be cancelled.”

Madeline's face was her answer. It was blank of any emotion at hearing the words she had expected the Head of Centre to say.

“You are going to be executed Madeline, and it isn’t going to be a pleasant death. It will be much the same fate that you inflicted on many cancelled terrorists. You’ll be taken to the White Room for a lesson in humility. There you will then be subjected to the Gelman procedure yourself. Finally, some of the torture techniques you have used over the years to make terrorists submit will be carried out. Once that has been sufficiently administered you will be taken to Containment to await your cancellation. Do you understand?”

With a steely determination, Madeline stood up from her chair to reply. “I understand perfectly well … But that’s not going to happen! I'll make my own decision regarding my fate Mr. Lambert!”

Section’s second in command would never let someone control her destiny as her answer to the Head of Centre attested. She did things on her own terms, so in utter defiance and deciding she'd rather design her own fate than let anyone dictate it to her, Madeline calmly pulled out a cyanide capsule from the locket around her neck and bit down on the tablet. Swallowing the poison pill, she let death embrace her.

Those gathered saw her actions, but it was Quentin Lambert who replied indifferently but also with a tinge of anger, “Well then! Rather than face her punishment, Madeline has decided her own fate.”

He then hit the intercom button on the table and ordered … “Housekeeping.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ to be continued Friday 26th July

#jamie and claire #jamieandclairefanfic #jamieandclairecrossover #the lallybroch library #outlander fanfic #sablelab #crossover outlander/lfn spies modernau #lfnoutlander #outlander fanfiction #covert operations

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rec-review8890 · 2 years

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Brothesong - Book Review

Title: Brothersong

Author: TJ Klune

Online Rating: 4.53/5

Personal Rating: 5/5

Warning(s): Sexual content, Gore, Death, Murder, Blood, M/M, and Supernatural beliefs.

Pages: 522

Summary: In the ruins of Caswell, Maine, Carter Bennett learned the truth of what had been right in front of him the entire time. And then it—he—was gone. Desperate for answers, Carter takes to the road, leaving family and the safety of his pack behind, all in the name of a man he only knows as a feral wolf. But therein lies the danger: wolves are pack animals, and the longer Carter is on his own, the more his mind slips toward the endless void of Omega insanity. But he pushes on, following the trail left by Gavin. Gavin, the son of Robert Livingstone. The half-brother of Gordo Livingstone. What Carter finds will change the course of the wolves forever. Because Gavin’s history with the Bennett pack goes back further than anyone knows, a secret kept hidden by Carter’s father, Thomas Bennett. And with this knowledge comes a price: the sins of the fathers now rest upon the shoulders of their sons.

!Spoilers!

Review:

Absolutely WOW! I was waiting THREE MONTHS for this book to come out (even pre-ordered the damn thing) and I was not disappointed!

It ended exactly where I wanted it to end and was played out perfectly. I thought the whole book was going to be Carter searching for Gavin and I’m SO glad it really wasn’t. Every piece of the action was split up perfectly. And everything was wrapped up in a perfect bow.

I don’t want it to be over! Please bring us more 😍😩

Main characters review-

Joe:

Our little tornado and mate to ox.

“Lightening.”

Our little boy that smells like lightening and is described as a tornado. From the first book In the very beginning, I saw him as this adorable little boy who has a HUGE crush on the boy next door. To find out he’s been through more trauma then any little boy should ever have to go through.

Then he meet Ox... 😍

Out of all the characters in all four of these books, I think Joe loved the fastest and the HARDEST. And in the end of this book, he gave even more proof to that fact. He sacrificed everything he’s ever known and everything he ever knew he needed to be for Ox.

He became a man and a true alpha within three years. He became a true friend to those who didn’t trust him in a year. He became a loyal brother in 13 months. He became a survivor and someone who will fight through anything for his family in not just another year, but his whole life. And in the end he got exactly what he wanted: Family, love, and friendship that will last forever. And most importantly, he found peace.

I will miss reading Joe’s story grow and how much his love stretched. He may not be the Alpha of all anymore, but he is exactly where he’s always wanted to be.

Ox:

“Candy canes and pinecones. Epic and awesome.”

Mate to Joe, and tether to Joe and Gordo.

He was told he would get shit all his life and that he would be nothing, but a dumb little boy. But ohhhhh his father was wrong wasn’t he?

Ox has grown from Joes mate, Joes teacher, human alpha, alpha, alpha of the omegas, and now the reincarnated alpha of the Bennett pack.

He has learned and taught so much is just a 7-8 year timeline. He has changed so much as well. He’s changed peoples views on life; he’s changed the meaning of pack and family; he’s changed the ways of everyone’s way of love.

He truly is werewolf Jesus 😂

I could say so much more about Ox, but we all know how special he is. ❤️🐺💜

Gordo:

Mate and tether to Mark, as well as witch for the pack.

“Dirty. and Leaves. and Rain.”

Damn this man is so FUNNY! Every time he has a scene I’m laughing at something.

This character I see in the book as the one who’s changed the most. But mentally and physically (well physically sadly). R.I.P his hand and the raven 🥺 He had a long journey to go through to get where he is today, but I’m glad he had so much time to get there. He needs those ups and downs to become the man he has become. And I’m glad I got to read about it.

I’m so happy he got what he wanted in the end even if he didn’t know he wanted it for a long time. Mark. Family. Pack. And Love.

Mark:

Mate to Gordo and second to Ox.

I didn’t get a lot from Mark. Well as much as I wanted at least. Yes he has a whole book with Gordo, and he was the first to meet Ox (out of the pack), but besides always giving advice I didn’t really get much out of his character. He was the second for Ox and Gordon’s mate. That was him.

What I do remember though, and this always stuck with me, that he ALWAYS loved Gordo. Even after Gordo rejected him, and it was years after leaving Green Creek he still loved him. Gordo was a difficult person to love and stand in the beginning, but Mark did both and never let go of that. I can’t see anyone else besides Mark being with Gordo, and for that I think he’s a great character.

Kelly:

Robbie’s mate and tether to Carter.

“Grass. Lake water. And Sunshine.”

The sweetest man I’ve ever read about! 😊

He’s always been so caring and never gave up on ANYTHING. Especially for his pack. I always thought he would be a good second for Joe, but I understand why Carter got that title instead.

He also was very surprising. I never thought he would be asexual especially since he had a mate and always seemed like he was making fun of people about sexual stuff 😂 It was a good surprise though. The author made it known that just because someone’s asexual, doesn’t mean they are ANY less of a person or wolf then anyone else.

Kelly is definitely one of my favorite main characters (behind Ox and Carter). Even when he was human, he never gave up hope on anyone and he was still part of the pack pack pack! If it wasn’t for Ox and Joe having such a perfect backstory in their relationship, Kelly and Robbie would be my favorite couple 👬

I was skeptical if I would like their book too, but in the end it became one of my favorites out of the series.

Robbie:

Mate to Kelly.

“Home.”

Our little wolf 🐺❤️

For such a small character in all the books except one, he’s been through a lot. Having his mother killed, getting his memory taken away, never really having a pack of his own till the Bennett’s...

Even though he doesn’t seem like one, Robbie really is one of the strongest characters of the series. Maybe not physically but mentally and with stuff he’s been through definitely.

As I said in Kelly’s review, his and Kelly’s relationship was definitely one of my favorites. They care about each other so much to the point he lost his memory, but still cared and loved Kelly so much. He deserved to be in the pack even without Kelly being his mate. He’s kinda like the finally piece of glue they all needed to stick together❤️

Carter:

Mate to Gavin, tether to Kelly, and Joe’s second.

“Thump. Thump. Thump.”

“You fill my lungs and burn me on the inside.”

My absolute favorite character 😍

He’s strong, loyal, loving, funny, and well... CARTER! From the first book I knew this character would be something special and having the final book all about him proved that.

Carter has watched his pack be destroyed then be pieced back together multiple times. He understood what pack meant before any of his brothers understood and what it meant to be a big brother right when Kelly was born. To protect them with everything he can.

I wasn’t expecting Gavin to be his mate from the first book and maybe even in the second book I was skeptical. But, Gavin ended up being exactly what Carter needed. Someone to show him he’s not alone 💕

Gavin:

Mate to Carter and brother of Gordo.

“A forest untamed. Untouched.”

With only two, really one if we’re being honest, books of him being in human form, he’s transformed the pack into right where they all wanted to be. Together.

Even though he was lost for a long time he finally found his place in the world with Carter’s help. He’s tough, brave, and a hard person to get his love from, but damn does he have a lot to give.

He sacrificed himself to his father for the sack of his pack. He sacrificed himself for his mate, Carter, even though he kept calling him stupid 😂

“Thump, Thump, Thump.”

That’s what got him into the pack. Carter’s heart was what he wanted and what Gavin focused on. Keeping him alive and protected. Which added to another amazing trait for him. Loyalty🔒

Elizabeth:

Carter, Kelly, and Joe’s mother. Mate to Thomas (RIP).

Our queen 👸

If I could imagine Lizzy as a real person, she would be drop dead gorgeous. She loved her pack, loved her husband, and loved her sons with every bone in her body. She not just beautiful on the outside, but has a beautiful soul to match ❤️

She always gave the best advice even if her pack didn’t know they needed it. She may have fell out of her ways when her husband died, but she was still there to fight with her pack when her heart was still broken. This women will be praised her whole life and viewed by me as an amazing mother, wife, and friend anyone could have and want.

Thomas:

Last Bennett pack alpha before Joe. Mate to Elizabeth.

Even though he was only really alive in the first book, he was constantly referenced to and envisioned throughout the book series. To me, Thomas was viewed as the packs hope. Every time anyone was down or needed someone to talk to and tell them exactly what they needed, he showed up to be that hope.

He died to soon, but even when he was gone he was still a important character for the series and will be missed by his pack forever.

Jessie:

Ox’s ex-girlfriend, and Dominique’s mate.

She went from Innocent and not-knowing to a bad ass bitch! She was one of the characters that grew the most to me. If you remember, the pack didn’t what anything to do with her in the beginning of the first book. But now she’s part of the human faction of their pack.

Jessie has a straight shot, a bad mouth, and a cocky attitude, but she was always truthful. She was the part of the pack that would never sugar coat the truth. And a lot of times, they needed that.

Dominique:

Mate to Jessie.

She may have not been a big character, but I felt she was in her own way because of Jessie. She ended up being Jessie’s mate and a part of the pack. Omega to Beta in two books. She didn’t have a lot of page time, but she still was a important character because of her loyalty she had for the Bennett pack even when she was still a omega.

Chris & Tanner:

Mates to each other.

Weird situation there, but we just go with it. LOL

I added these two reviews together because they basically are the SAME person. The only difference is that Chris and Jessie were siblings, but Tanner and Chris were mates in the end. To be honest, still confused about that... but still think it’s adorable.

There bond represents friendship for the pack. They didn’t need to be sexual involved with each other to become each other’s mates, just the undoubtedly love like brothers they had for each other was enough. They fought like hell as humans for the pack, then they fought even harder as wolves for the pack till the very end.

Rico:

Fiancé to Bambi, and now wolf to the Bennett pack.

He literally DIED for the pack! If that’s not loyalty, I don’t know what is!

Rico was part of the Chris, Tanner, and Gordo “squad.” Out of the four of them, Rico was the most stylish (that’s what he said 🙄) but also the most understanding. He forgave Robbie even after knowing he basically was the one who killed his best friends (even though it technically wasn’t his fault AT ALL). Rico’s character represented forgiveness in the third book. And in the fourth book he represented fatherly love because of his new baby boy with Bambi.

Bambi:

Fiancé to Rico.

This brings us to the next bad ass bitch... Bambi.

Her name may sound sweet, but she will kick your ass if you even look at her wrong. She’s another part of the human faction of the pack and I think one day will be Rico’s mate. She also will gladly give you a smack down if you need it 😂

Robert Livingstone:

Gavin and Gordo’s father.

I decided to review this character at the very end because as much as we don’t want to admit it, he was very important for every book of the series.

He was hidden in the background in the first book. Finally made an appearance in the second book and we got a backstory. Was covered up as someone else in the third, but also became a scary MOTHERF***ER. And in the end got what he bloody deserved.

But with that all being said, he was the villain of the story the entire time. Even if they pack didn’t know it yet, Robert was going to be the person (that if possible) that would be their down fall. But with the Bennett pack, never expect to come out alive after the fight.

Negatives:

Repetitive with mentioning past situations. I felt like Joe’s story alone was talked about 3 times! I understand it was a very big plot twister for everything, but do we really need it explained 3 times? That and Ox’s story was basically talked about in every book. Like you don’t even need to read the first book to know what happened to him 😂

During the fight scene (at the end), I wish there was more detail for it. Like, how did they not see Gordo/Gavin's dad right behind Carter? He's a beasts - a big one, as been explained many times by now - so how did everyone around, even on the roofs, miss him? It was also confusing how the author explained where everyone was during this scene. It made my head spin. I wish there was a better layout so I could have imagined it, but it was hard since the author explained everything weird, and it seemed more like Carter was just standing on the side most of the time doing nothing.

。・°°・°°・。。・°°・°°・。。・°°・°°・。

|| Account Directory || Book 1 Review || Book 2 Review || Book 3 Review ||

#Brothersong #book review #brothersong book review #brothersong review #tj klune #wolf x wolf #carter #gavin #last book #book 4 out of 4 #book 4 #book with a perfect ending #wolfsong series #Bennett pack #second time reading #5 stars

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riddikulushq · 1 month

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IC INFO:

Character name: Quirinus "Q" Quirrell Age & Birthday: 19 & February 14 Gender & Pronouns: Trans-Man, He/Him Occupation: Bookstore Clerk Blood status: Halfblood Previous house: Ravenclaw Previous Affiliation: Neutral Face claim: Jamie Raines Traits: +Loyal, Observant, Soft - Cautious, Anxious, Full of fake confidence

TAKEN BY PAN

CHARACTER SUMMARY:

[tw: transphobia]

He’s been living as Quirinus for three years now and while the war is over he can’t help but feel like there is more to it. Could just be anxiety, at least that is what he keeps telling himself.

#quirinus quirrell #taken #taken neutral #neutral #played by pan

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hellmouth-manor · 5 months

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capricornus || nori || trial 4.3 || re: everyone

There are a lot of things Nori could feel right now. There are a lot of things she does feel right now, even.

There’s regret. Guilt. There’s the feeling she gets from knowing that this all could have gone differently if she’d been more careful, or that none of this had to happen at all if she’d just been stronger. It’s the same feeling she gets from knowing that, out of everyone in this manor, the ones she’s hurt the most are the ones her care runs the deepest for.

There’s sadness. Despair, born from the knowledge that even her attempt to help - not just herself, but those still left, too - left nothing but destruction in its wake. There’s the misery of knowing nothing she’s done and nothing she could do would be good - she could never be good.

There’s clarity. Acceptance, however slight, that she is forever doomed to leave those she touches broken in some way. Her intentions have never mattered, not to anyone else and certainly not to the world. At the center of the torment of the ones she loved, she would always be there, no matter how badly she wished it could be otherwise.

And, of course. There’s anger. There’s always rage somewhere, because it’s the only other thing she knows how to focus on. She’s angry at herself, because she knows she could have been better. She’s angry at herself, because she knows she wasn’t strong enough to really do it.

For the time being, though, she’s angry for Eli, because she’s done something so unforgivable to him, and yet he’s the one berated for it.

“— What the fuck is wrong with all of you…?! Do you— do you have any fucking idea what it’s like?! To— to watch people you care about— to see them like that, and… and know… that it could have gone differently if— if you could just move, but— you can’t. You can’t, because nothing will let you. After everything he went through - after what I put him through… he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t fucking deserve this. The least you all can fucking do is listen for two goddamn seconds!”

Her anger is brief; if anything, it’s a mask, just as it’s always been. All it does is keep the hurt at bay.

It only takes Kamiya’s words to break it again.

“… Why couldn’t you just… go along with it…?”

For as long as she can remember, all she’s been are masks. Her feelings were never her own, even when she’d thought they were. She was only ever a shell, a thing comprised of titles and responsibilities she never wanted; a horrible, beastly nothingness meant only to rid herself of anything that made her her. She was miserable, always, but she was comfortable in her misery. She didn’t know anything else; she didn’t have anything else to hope for, because she knew nothing good would ever be hers.

And damn it all, Kamiya had to go and make her hope.

“I— I could have— kept lying. I-I could— could have just— taken the fall for both, a-and you wouldn’t— you wouldn’t… have to…”

She knows she doesn’t deserve to feel the way she does. She knows she never did. She knows the only thing she can offer anyone is destruction. And despite it all, despite knowing better, she dared to care anyway. She dared to try, for once, and all it’s left her with is pain.

Tears begin to roll down her cheeks, and she knows she doesn’t deserve to shed them.

“… I don’t want you to die.”

Of everything in her life, there are few she can call constants. Among the constants, among the sad handful of things she knows she can rely on, is loss. She could accept loss - if she had to lose her life, that was fine. If she had to lose the friendships she’d made, that was fine. If she lost her relationship, that was fine. But the one thing she couldn’t accept losing, the one thing she knew she’d never come back from if she did, was him.

“I just— didn’t… want him to die. After— after everything I did… You were right, Touji. I thought— I thought that, if there was one thing I could still do, i-it would be making sure he lived, because it… it’s my fault any of this happened in the first place. This is all… my fault.

“I set the trap. I left Arisa that note. … And I told Kamiya to stay away. I— … I wasn’t afraid of dying. I didn’t care if I did. But… Kamiya did. I-I don’t— I don’t know why I thought he wouldn’t. But he did.”

She stops for several beats, and all she does is breathe. She tries to keep anything else she feels pushed down, because they aren’t hers to feel. She, if all people, shouldn’t be allowed to feel, not after everything she’s done.

“All I knew… was that something went wrong. I didn’t know what, or how it happened, or… or anything - I just knew I needed to get there as fast as I could. So I did. … But Minami beat me there. A-And she saw— something, obviously, and I thought— I thought, if she lived… he would die, for sure. She’d tell everyone what she saw, and he’d die, and… and I couldn’t let that happen.”

“I hit her while she was distracted. I— I didn’t even… know he was there, but it must have been with Eli. I stabbed her after that, and she collapsed, and— I thought it was enough. … As soon as I thought she was close to dead, I left.”

By the time she’s finally managed to offer an explanation - a proper explanation - for what happened, her hands shake and her voice wavers and there’s an unbecoming stream of tears down her cheeks that she’s tried so hard to hold back.

It’s pathetic. She’s pathetic.

“… I… I knew I was going to die. Whether I killed, o-or someone killed me, I knew— I knew this would be it. And— And I knew that was fine, because you’d all be safer that way. Th-this— none of this… was supposed to happen. … I-I’m sorry.”

#ch4 #trial #nori

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celticbarb · 8 months

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Book: The Blind Seer

Author: Kelly Ann Scott

Series: The Gifted Highlanders, Book #1 Debut

Print Length: 258 pages

Book Rating: 5/5 stars

Blog Rating: 5/5 Saltire Flag

Scottish Highlands, 1485

This book centers around Alexander Mackenzie who unexpectedly became a Chieftain at a young age due to his father and brothers deaths by the Frasers. He is now looking to find peace with enemy clans. Except his brother Robert ends up a prisoner at the Frasers by his own stupidity! On top of this Alexander must hide his seer curse which forced him into taking a vow of celibacy with promises to never put an innocent in danger and always bear this curse alone. Yet he would never let his late grandmother teach him and give him lessons on being a seer. It would have helped him to know how to control his visions and use this knowledge correctly, but now she was gone and it is too late.This made him very ignorant on what many would call a gift but he called a curse, which he now regretted. Alexander really wanted peace and a compromise with the Frasers so they could find a truce and fight their common enemy the MacDonald’s!

Now unknown to Marjorie Fraser who only wanted to be with her sister Nell. My guess is Nell has a form of autism or Asperger’s syndrome however, it is the fifteenth century so no diagnosis until the 20th century for both. As autism will be discovered in 1911 and Aspergers will not be discovered until 1940’s by a Viennese pediatrician Hans Asperger. Yet her Uncle Daegan Fraser wanted her to marry another chieftain for a clan alliance for selfish reasons. However when Marjorie learns her Uncle ,plans to lock away her innocent sister Nell in an abbey and separate the sisters Marjorie refuses this marriage! This causes a violent reaction from her Uncle, furthermore she was not the only one he would be hurting! On top of that it made her sick the violence that was done to his latest Mackenzie prisoner. Even though she heard horrendous lies about clan Mackenzie her entire life and the unnatural abilities their chieftain had too and how their father murdered her father etc.

Uncle Daegon would not share where he had hidden her sister Nell. trying to force Marjorie’s hand so he wouldn’t tell her where Nell was. As both lassies were orphans but Marjorie was the only mother Nell ever knew. Even though Nell was the older child by three years, but Nell had the mind of an innocent young child always clutching to her ragdoll. So Marjorie runsaway determined to find her missing sister, the one person that needed her! On her way she bumped into a Clan Mackenzie soldiers and their handsome chieftain Alexander. She soon realizes more lies her Uncle told her about clan MacKenzie where everyone was protective, caring and kind and the attraction between Alexander Mackenzie and herself is immediate with a few stolen kisses. A man who will not separate the sisters if she can find Nell when Marjorie offers herself to this chieftain. Alexander realizes he is going against everything he was taught by his grandmother but sometimes love can’t be fought. Alexander soon realizes due to his visions he must give the woman he loves more than life back or his people will suffer! Will Marjorie be able to change his mind? Will she even want to? Will she believe all the tales about what a monster her Uncle is? Will her Uncle make her and Nell suffer for her betrayal to the Fraser’s? Find out and read this extraordinary novel!

For a debut book this phenomenal book absolutely blew me away. Kelly Ann Scott writes like a professional who has been doing this forever! A book I highly recommend from start to finish. A fast paced story with just the right amount of romance, the authors research just blew my mind with so much accuracy and the right amount of fiction.

Ms. Scott wrote my favorite ingredients in a novel which is true Scottish history with a fictional romance! This page turning book is also filled with a breathtaking setting, exhilarating dialogue, spectacular plotting and multi dimensional characters that are absolutely brilliant! This novel had so many twisting nail biting turns, that I was holding my breath with anticipation not knowing what could possibly happens next! It is the type of story that will pull at your heartstrings and soften your soul hoping the star crossed couple will take a chance on love and forget about all the stacks against them! A book readers will absolutely love as I see Kelly Ann Scott is my new go to author as I can’t wait to read her next fabulous story!

Disclaimer: I was gifted a copy from the author and publisher. I voluntarily agreed to do a fair review and blog. All thoughts, ideas and words are my own.

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drwilfredwaterson · 9 months

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Earthquakes in Various Places, Salvation, Spirit and Truth, Rebuilt Castles, Love, Faithfulness, Fear of Almighty G-d and Wisdom, Knowledge, Peace and Prosperity. Part 2/2.

Earthquake: 04:38:07 PDT…

Earthquake: M 1.4 - 37.2 km (23.1 mi) SE of Mina, Nevada

2023-08-15 11:38:07 (UTC) 38.142°N 117.823°W 8.0 km depth

In Monte Cristo ("Christ Mountain") Range at approximately 6580 ft. elevation.

04:38:07 PDT Strong's Concordance #7 abad: to perish, lost, forever (Yiddish). Original Word: אֲבַד

Mark 4:30 Again he said, “What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? Mark 4:31 It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Mark 4:32 Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.” Mark 4:33 With many similar parables Jesus spoke the word to them, as much as they could understand. Mark 4:34 He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything. Mark 4:35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Mark 4:36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. Mark 4:37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Mark 4:38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” Mark 4:39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. Mark 4:40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

Strong's Concordance #6580 pash: to disintegrate; foolishness, ignorance, extremity, a brief infatuation, a "crush". Original Word: פַשׁ

Taylor Swift - This Love (Taylor's Version)

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Published: May 5, 2022 (125th day) Duration: 4:08 (248 seconds) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvxQYPR4lmU mvxQYPR4lmU mvxQYPRlmU lmmpqruvxy 20+30+30+60+70+80+200+700+300+400=1890. 1890+4=1894. 1894+248=2142. 2142+125=2267.

Strong's Concordance #2267 cheber: From chabar; friend, a society; company, organization, association, wide, charmer, charming, enchantment, spell. Original Word: חֶבֶר

John 4:6 Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. John 4:7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” John 4:8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) John 4:9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) John 4:10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” John 4:11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? John 4:12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” John 4:13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, John 4:14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” John 4:19 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. John 4:20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” John 4:21 Jesus replied, “Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem. John 4:22 You Samaritans know very little about the one you worship, while we Jews know all about him, for salvation comes through the Jews. John 4:23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. John 4:24 For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” John 4:25 The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English): Page 1599: Proverbs 1:1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: Proverbs 1:2 For learning wisdom and discipline; For understanding words of discernment; Proverbs 1:3 For acquiring the discipline for success, Righteousness, justice, and equity; Proverbs 1:4 For endowing the simple with shrewdness, The young with knowledge and foresight. Proverbs 1:5 --The wise man, hearing them, will gain more wisdom; The discerning man will learn to be adroit; Proverbs 1:6 For understanding proverb and epigram, The words of the wise and their riddles. Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: Fools despise wisdom and discipline.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English): Pages 1454 and 1455: Psalm 37:1 Of David. Do not be vexed by evil men; do not be incensed by wrongdoers; Psalm 37:2 for they soon wither like grass, like verdure fade away. Psalm 37:3 Trust in the Lord and do good, abide in the land and remain loyal. Psalm 37:4 Seek the favor of the Lord, and He will grant you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:5 Leave all to the Lord; trust in Him; He will do it. Psalm 37:6 He will cause your vindication to shine forth like the light, the justice of your case, like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:7 Be patient and wait fo rthe Lord, do not be vexed by the prospering man who carries out his schemes. Psalm 37:8 Give up anger, abandon fury, do not be vexed; it can only do harm. Psalm 37:9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who look to the Lord--they shall inherit the land. Psalm 37:10 A little longer and there will be no wicked man; you will look at where he was--he will be gone. Psalm 37:11 But the lowly shall inherit the land, and delight in abundant well-being. Psalm 37:12 The wicked man schemes against the righteous, and gnashes his teeth at him. Psalm 37:13 The Lord laughs at him, for He knows that his day will come.

TANAKH (Jewish Publication Society, Hebrew-English): Page 1437: Psalm 23:1 A psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing. Psalm 23:2 He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me to water in places of repose; Psalm 23:3 He renews my life; He guides me in right paths as befits His name. Psalm 23:4 Though I walk through a valley of deepest darkness, I fear no harm, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff--they comfort me. Psalm 23:5 You spread a table for me in full view of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my drink is abundant. Psalm 23:6 Only goodness and steadfast love shall pursue me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for many long years.

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