#yeah actually this is fucking horrible and DOES feel bad and you DID convey that effectively

[crimeronan]

every time i get an ao3 comment on a horror fic along the lines of “jesus fucking christ. this is so vile what the FUCK what the FUCKING FUCK THIS IS SO FUCKED UP” i hug my laptop to my chest and kick my feet and roll around in bed giggling like a schoolgirl who just got a love letter from her crush. omg you got physically nauseous.....? eeee

#THESE SENTIMENTS KEEP ME GOING #'cause i already know i'm funny and good at capturing Big Feelings #and i love comments about how much various funny or silly or earnest stories mean to people #but ooh god i've been repressing a lot of Horror Shit for a long time. #bc it's ugly and gross and makes people feel bad who wants to read THAT #and have only pretty recently started to shed these feelings n been like. nah i'll be honest actually #like i'll tag everything appropriately and i'll accept that engagement will b a lot lower bc no one wants to read That Shit #but i'll be honest. #so it's like. the strangest form of validation to have people be like #yeah actually this is fucking horrible and DOES feel bad and you DID convey that effectively #i'm like. thank u so much!! i wasn't sure i had the skill or the practice to do that!!!! #if youve left one of these comments (or MULTIPLE comments) on my stuff in the past few days pls know i see you and i love you #i'm WAY behind on comment replies on ao3 because of The Problems but im gonna get to 'em. in the meantime. i love u. #autoimmune tag #<-since the feelings mostly. come from this

[chaifootsteps]

oh, huh, okay, so I guess it’s because those horrible people are often the loudest

it would be a lot better if they weren’t and everyone was just civil and nice, like it’s not that hard💀I’ve never thought about it that way, yeah

(I mean, my stance as an anti wasn’t to be a puritan dipshit or whatever, I guess my reason was/is that that content can be harmful to those who are vulnerable to it, and can encourage people who are already not that great, but if people were more considerate and not awful then none of this shit would be an issue I think😔 the entire thing is so fucking stupid I think I’m gonna be neutral from now on, stop wasting my energy on it, not like I spent much at all on it anyway but I think even that little I did was too much, it’s all so stupid I think)

(people need to go outside more often I think, extremists on both sides)

/nm I feel like this could come off as vaguely aggressive and if it does I apologise, that’s not my intention whatsoever I really respect you, I’m just bad at conveying tone I think

(and just to make it clear I was never one of the dipshit insane antis I was one of the.. I don’t actually know but I never harassed or bothered anyone about it don’t worry, even at times where I was upset by some of the more awful proship people I’ve seen I never said or did anything, I’m just not a confrontational person)

sorry for ranting in your inbox again 💀

No, don't apologize! Rants are fine.

My stance has always been to be decent to people, know the difference between fiction and reality, draw what you like, write what you want, tag it appropriately so I can block it if I don't want to see it, and I'll do the same.

#Anonymous #actual blog post

[fishingforyolos]

That Awkward Moment When...

What if Dean got Castiel back from the Empty, and DIDN’T confess his love right away? What if instead, Dean and Cas just...didn’t know how to bring it up to one another, and forced Sam to endure the most intense third-wheel moment that he’s ever experienced, while these two emotionally constipated dumbasses sat in awkward silence?

This is here to answer that question.

________________________________________

Ahem.

It was the fourth time within two minutes that Dean had cleared his throat, and pretended to look out the window.

Sam was counting, now, in a desperate bid to distract from the incredible, palpable awkward silence emanating from the front seat of the car.

He had given Cas the front as a KIND gesture. He was being nice! It was only FAIR that the guy who had just escaped from super mega turbohell got to have a free pass at riding shotgun.

Or, so he thought. When he sidled into the backseat an hour ago, he did not anticipate the absolutely lethal levels of weird that Cas and Dean would be radiating—all pretending not to look at each other, conspicuous rubbing of the back of their necks, and god DAMN it Dean was fake-looking out the window AGAIN! There was nothing out there but corn, Dean!! Corn for miles!!!

Sam sat back and groaned. This was one of the most intolerable hours that he had ever witnessed in this godforsaken car, and that was saying something.

He allowed himself to drift off into his thoughts, letting his analytical side take over. Whatever it was, it probably happened in the bunker, right before Cas was taken by the Empty. Dean had been very...vague, about that situation, which only made Sam all the more curious. What could they have SAID to each other? Sam was no stranger to having a tense relationship with Castiel, but...if they were mad at each other, they’d be doing that stupid stony-faced silent treatment. But no, they both seemed too full of nervous energy. Cas was currently rifling through the glovebox, of all goddamn things, and Dean was toggling the blinker back and forth on a two-lane highway.

Click, click. Click, click. Click, click.

“Are these...salted?” asked Castiel, holding up a box of bullets as if they were a sale item at Costco.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” said Dean taking a quick glance, ���We bought those for the uh...for the ghosts.”

“I see,” said Castiel, nodding for just a bit too long.

Click, click. Click, click. Click, click.

Sam scrubbed his face with his hands. He had been to hell before, but listening to bad small talk was its own special kind of hell. What happened in that bunker room that would make them behave like-

Like-

Sam’s mouth fell open.

Like the awkward morning after.

“Oh, my God,” Sam blurted, before he could stop himself, “Did-did you two have a one-night stand?”

Castiel dropped the box of bullets.

Dean choked on nothing.

“Sam, what the HELL?!” he coughed.

“Well, SORRY,” Sam said, in a way that he hoped conveyed how NOT sorry he was, “But you guys are acting, uhhh, really weird, and I thought maybe, I dunno-”

He shrugged, and held his hands up in defense against Dean’s murderous glare, “I thought maybe you hooked up! Y’know, last night on earth style!”

“Wha-no. No, no, no,” Dean said again, gesturing forcefully with one hand before pointing directly at Sam, “That’s-that’s not what happened in there.”

“Indeed,” Castiel murmured lowly, throwing a glance to the backseat, “I can assure you, it was worse.”

Dean nearly swerved off the road.

Sam’s jaw fell open again, eyes flicking from Dean to Cas. “W-WORSE?!”

“Oh my FUCKING god,” Dean whispered into the steering wheel.

“What I mean is, it was more...personally humiliating. To me,” Castiel clarified.

Sam blinked several times, trying to process this new bit of information. 

“But I thought...you said, that the Empty's deal was about you experiencing happiness,” Sam said, shifting back into analytical mode, “Does it make an...exception, for humiliation?”

He sat back and grimaced, as he weighed the horrible possibility in his mind. “Is it into that??”

“W-well,” stuttered Castiel, his gravelly voice betraying his discomfort, “Regardless of the...preferences, sexual or otherwise, of the Empty-”

Dean suddenly slammed the steering wheel with his palm.

“Can you two PLEASE, shut up?!” he roared, “And let me fucking DRIVE in PEACE?!”

Sam and Cas fell silent, the atmosphere of the Impala even more tense than before.

Sam put his head in his hands. God, he should have just kept his mouth shut. Or maybe, he should have just taken shotgun in the first place, and stuck Cas in the back. Would've saved everyone all this trouble, maybe.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel said, finally breaking the silence.

Sam pursed his lips in annoyance. He could already tell, simply by the look on Cas’ face, that this was going to be another heart-to-heart where they completely forgot he existed. 

Dean, meanwhile, didn’t react.

“I…” Castiel sighed, “I don’t...mean to make things awkward, it’s just that I didn’t-I never expected to SEE you again.”

“Really, Cas?” Dean exploded, “Really? After all we’ve been through, after all the times we’ve dragged each other out of the clutches of-of Hell, Heaven, you name it, you didn’t-you didn’t even consider the POSSIBILITY that we’d get you out?”

“Of course I considered it,” Castiel said quietly, “It was my most desperate desire."

He sat back, and turned to direct his gaze out the window.

“But there is a sort of...freedom, in confessing directly before death,” Castiel said, speaking a fog onto the window with each word, “All the vulnerability...none of the consequences.”

Sam’s eyes flew wide open as it all finally clicked. 

No way. No way. NO WAY.

He shot up straight, incredulity plastered across his face that the other two were too preoccupied to notice.

DId Castiel...confess his feelings in that bunker? Make a move? Shoot his shot? And then DIE?! 

What the fuck, Cas?

Sam sat back, reeling, running his fingers through his hair as Dean and Cas continued to stare out separate windows. He quite literally didn’t think he would LIVE to see the day that they acknowledged their...thing, and now they were doing it right in front of his eyes.

“I...I meant what I said, Dean,” Castiel said, fixing Dean’s profile with a longing stare, “Every single word. And I still do.”

Sam turned back toward Dean, hunched defensively over the wheel of the Impala. He still wouldn’t look at Cas. 

Please, Sam prayed silently, Don’t fuck this up.

“But, I’m acutely aware that it made things different between us,” Castiel sighed, “And I’m sorry for that. I can’t take it back. However-”

“I love you.”

If he wasn’t literally watching Dean’s mouth move as he said it, Sam wouldn’t have believed his ears. Holy shit.

He whipped his head back to Castiel, who was stopped in his tracks like a deer in headlights.

Even the rain, beating against the windshield at 70 miles an hour, didn’t dare interrupt the moment at hand.

Dean was still staring out at the road, hands gripping the wheel like he was clinging to sanity itself.

“You didn’t let me say it back,” Dean said through gritted teeth, “In the bunker, you just-you dropped that on me, and then you were GONE, and you didn’t even let me say it back.”

Sam’s mouth was agape once again, eyes flicking back and forth between his brother and the equally speechless angel. The air between them was charged, and ready for a lightning strike.

“W-when you say that,” Castiel said, after a solid ten seconds of trying to find his voice, “Do you-do you mean it-”

Dean DID swerve off the road this time, sending Sam sprawling across the backseat as he skidded to a stop on the shoulder.

“Ow! Dean, what the-”

“Yeah, Castiel,” Dean said, finally taking his eyes off the road to fix him with a wild look, “I mean it. Same way you did. When you said that-that the one thing you wanted, you couldn’t have, it-it didn’t make any sense, because I always thought that I was the one wanting what I couldn’t-who I couldn't-”

He sniffled.

“Fuck, I didn’t want to do this in the CAR,” Dean said, wiping his eyes, “Not in front of Sammy.”

“Honestly? I prefer this over the past miserable hour,” Sam said, leaning back, “Do what you gotta do, man. Just...pretend I’m not here.”

Dean actually chuckled at that, but turned his attention back to Cas, who was still blinking in shock.

“Cas, you...you gotta understand,” Dean said carefully, reaching across the seat and cupping Cas’ cheek in a hand, “Come hell or high water, you have me.”

He swallowed hard. “You don’t have to...to want, I-I’m yours, a-already in the bag. Got it?”

Tears tracked down Castiel’s face as he nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, trying unsuccessfully to stop a wide, tearful smile from spreading across his face.

Dean visibly softened, and brought Castiel’s face in, kissing him right on the mouth.

Sam hoped he wouldn't come to regret the "do what you gotta do" comment, but they broke apart just a moment later to touch foreheads like a couple of saps.

“...Yaaay, congratulations!” Sam said, waving celebratory arms in the air as widely as he could in the cramped backseat. He searched around him and found some crumpled receipts, which he tossed into the front seat. “Whoo! Confetti!”

“Sam…” Dean said, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

“I appreciate your jubilation, Sam,” Castiel said, dead seriously, looking back at him with just his eyes, “Your approval means a lot to me.”

"Hey,” Sam said, clapping Castiel on the shoulder, “This changes nothing. You're still like a brother to me, man. You’re still family." 

Cas smiled at him. “Thank you, Sam.”

“Aww, look at that smile, Sammy,” Dean said, tapping Cas on the cheek, “Look at it! How could anybody resist that smile?”

“I dunno, Dean, it’s pretty easy when you’re not in love with him,” Sam smiled.

“Welp,” shrugged Dean casually, as he shifted the car back into drive, “Guess I wouldn’t know, then.”

Sam was taken aback by the...ease, with which all that just rolled off of Dean’s tongue. 

“God,” Sam groaned, “You’re going to be an INSUFFERABLE couple.”

Dean just laughed, light and loud, as he merged back onto the highway, offering out his right hand.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Castiel said, taking the offered hand with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, "But as you can see, I cannot resist his charm."

Sam rolled his eyes at that, but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. It was insufferable, yes, and Sam was going to have to have a LONG talk with Dean later, but...for now, he just laughed, as the tension bled out of the car, and Dean FINALLY turned on the stereo, letting the soothing sound of Led Zeppelin carry them into a lighter mood.

Sam took a deep breath, and let it out slow. Maybe sometimes, good things do happen.

#supernatural #destiel #15x19 compliant #i havent been invested in SPN since about 2013 but i dug deep into my recollections to summon these guys' voices one more time #i didnt put this on a main blog bc i didnt want people to expect SPN from me #i just had this mental image in my head of sam having to endure this moment #and i laughed so hard that i had to see it through #godspeed spn people and good luck on thursday #honk honk honk thats my clown nose when i started writing this 'as a joke'

[longtimewish]

I haven't forgotten about my The Great s2 rewatch, I'm actually already on episode eight but I was busy last week and I forgot to make my commentary, so here are some late thoughts on episodes six and seven!

- First I'd like to start giving a shout out to the men's wigs because they look AMAZING. Often men's wigs in 18th century period dramas are so blatantly shiny white plastic so I LOVE how it's not the case here, they are well combed and some even look powdered! The women's wigs are great too but it is my duty to remind you that women did NOT use full wigs in the 18th century, just hair pieces to add volume to their own natural hair and a lot of hair powder

- Ok now onto ep 6: aka the one in which I could not stand Catherine. Don't get me wrong I love her, but here her stubborness and arrogance made me legit mad. She simply won't listen to anyone else because she clearly has a superiority complex and thinks that she knows better about Russia than literal Russians just because she read enlightment philosophy. However I do like that Catherine has visible flaws, that makes her character more rich an complex

- What she did to Shaky was horrible tho, from the get go I knew that it was going to end up baddly. Catherine used her to prove a point without even telling her that it was part of a larger scheme to release the serfs that she knew it was bound to be extremely unpopular amongst the nobility, but she didn't think it through and exposed her anyway

- Which leads me to something a bit more serious: I'm not really sure what I think about the treatment of serfs in the show. I think a lot of people isn't really aware that in Russia serfdom had evolved into an almost-like intitution of slavery. Although on paper serfs weren't slaves, in reality they were treated as such. They could be bought and sold, and they were helpless againt their owners abuses. Serfs being tortured wasn't uncommon (during the first years of Catherine the Great's reign there was actually a very high profile case of a noblewoman that was found guilty of torturing to death dozens of serf girls). So on the one hand since the serfs we see are more servants than anything else the show doesn't really convey the horror of the institution and it kinda trivialize it at some points, but on the other hand this show is anti-historical and just takes some very loose facts about 18th century Russia to make a completely new world. Meaning: they don't have to have a depiction of a terribly cruel system in this alternative reality, and I definitely wouldn't like to watch that either. So yeah I thought I was going somewhere with this but I just ended up rambling, this is what I mean when I say I'm not sure what to feel about the way the show treats serfdom

- HOWEVER Shaky's death was an incredibly chilling moment that did showed how fucked up the treatment to serfs truly was, and most importantly it was framed with the seriousness that it deserved (also you know I'm not crazy about Marial but I loved her when she shot Svenska at the end of the ep)

- I bet that Father Basil will play an important role in season 3 because when he left almost half way through the season it just felt that his role in the story was... incompleted? Like you feel he is def going to do something more, but then he just vanishes. So yeah I bet he'll return, maybe even as a bad guy

- Ok all that being said IT IS TIME TO YELL ABOUT CATHERINE AND PETER BECAUSE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

- I know we are all thinking about THE moment but during the entire episode there was a lot going on with their relantionship. First, Peter spent the entire time calling her out which honestly someone HAD to do at that point, but also because he DOES know her more than anyone else, and he can see all her flaws and mistakes when even those closest to her can't

- I love how much the episode leans on Peter falling back into his old self and making you believe that he hadn't change at all only to hit you with the most romantic moment of the entire show so far a minute before the end (also Catherine was def hurt when she saw him with those girls earlier but sure hon you don't love him at all)

- I JUST. CANNOT. EVERYTHING FELL APART. PETER IS DETERMINED TO GET HIS THRONE BACK. ALL THE NOBLES SUPPORT HIM. CATHERINE IS IN HER WORST MOMENT, LITERALLY ON HER KNEES WEEPING. HE'S GUNS OUT READY TO RETURN TO POWER. AND THEN. AND THEN!!!!

- HE SEES HER CRYING AND HE JUST. DROPS EVERYTHING AND HUGS HER. HUGS HER!!! BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT HE SAID EARLIER, AND NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAID TO HIM EARLIER, HE LOVES HER SO MUCH THAT HE CAN'T STAND SEEING HER IN PAIN. WHEN EVERYTHING COLAPSED HE WAS THE ONE THAT WAS THERE TO HOLD HER. I JUST CANNOT THIS WAS TOO MUCH I DON'T KNOW HOW I RECOVERED

- AND WHEN SHE ASKS HIM IF HE CAME TO TAKE IT BACK AND SHE SOUNDS SO READY TO GIVE UP RIGHT THEN AND THERE. AND PETER JUST THROWS HIS WHOLE PLAN AWAY AND ANSWERS THAT NO, HE ISN'T

- BECAUSE HE REALIZED THAT HE DOESN'T WANT IT!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE EMPEROR!!!!

- I'm sorry I'm going FERAL over this that scene not only seemed straight up of a fanfic it is CRUCIAL to the development of their relantionship becuase: it solidifies that Peter does love Catherine more than anything else AND it is also a call back from what he said in the previous episode about always being there for her and Paul AND it deleted the biggest obstacle to them being together: wanting to overthrow each other. Now that Peter's interests don't conflate Catherine's, there isn't any more scheming from his side and he only wants her to be happy and well

- I remembered so little of ep 7 that at moments it legit felt like watching it for the first time. After all the drama of the previous ep this one felt very chill, just shenanigans at court

- Peter going through an spiritual journey while Grigor just looses his mind is peak comedy

- Princess Johanna is here! Gillian Anderson is GORGEOUS and an amazing actress, she nailed the role. Also she had my fav costumes this season

- I REALLY dislike the real Princess Johanna (she sucked), so when she appeared I just KNEW that she was going to be trouble, even if she seemed loving towards Catherine at first. However it should be noted that the actual Johanna was such an awful mother to Catherine that in comparison the show's depiction of her should win the Mother Of The Year Award

- Peter spending the whole episode trying to woo Catherine by kidnapping a scientist and stealing his invention... where can I find a man like this

- Marial and Grigor finally got together! They are a totally random pairing but they did ended up growing on me, I was glad for them

- Aunt Elizabeth: Don't fuck her

Peter: I'll try not to

Me: Oh no

#i'll probably finish my rewatch this weekend #I'm going very slowly to compensate that the first time I watched like seven episodes in a go #and became unable to tell where an episode begun and other ended #the great #the great spoilers

[yogurtsoju]

selfish ━ ⟐ h. iwaizumi

☽ .* :☆ﾟ  synopsis ... iwaizumi was not a jealous person, he especially wasn’t jealous of his best friend, oikawa, but there was something about finally having someone be into him and not oikawa that felt good, especially since oikawa was blindly head over heels for you.

☽ .* :☆ﾟ  warning ... angst, hints of nsfw, unrequited love.

               Iwaizumi Hajime knew three irrefutable things when it came to you.

     One, he didn’t deserve you.

It’s clear that he lucked out in the partner department by dating you, someone so patient and kind. 

He knew it was the truth by the way you still beamed at him the second your eyes caught sight of him, hours late to a date because of practice, because you’re glad he even showed up at all. 

It’s the way your cheeks burn brightly at even the smallest sign of affection. He can still recall the first time you both kissed. How, even with the stars shining brightly down on the both of you, your eyes sparkled and the pinkness of your cheeks couldn’t be hidden by your hands.

You’re resilient and loyal to no end, he knows that and some part of him, a part he hates, takes advantage of that. 

Iwaizumi could come home late in the A.M. with alcohol on his breath and another woman’s perfume stuck to his skin and you’d just smile at him, sleep in your eyes, but always that same bright (Y/N) smile, and say, ‘Hajime, come on, the bed’s cold without you holding me!’ and whisk him off to bed.

He knows it because it’s happened on more than one occasion. 

It wasn’t fair to you at all, how the warm fluttering feeling in your heart never seemed to happen to him.

Not when the way you kissed him made his insides fuzzy, mind crazy with lust, and how you seemed to convey every loving and doting thought into your hugs.

No, Iwaizumi did not deserve you one bit, but it was okay because-

               Two, you loved him with everything you had.

As cocky and self absorbed as it sounds, Iwaizumi knew it was true. 

It was crystal clear, to not just him, but to everyone who has witnessed the looks you give Iwaizumi, including Oikawa. 

The way your eyes gleamed bright with adoration, how your hands never fail to find his even in a busy crowd. You always went further and beyond when it came to Hajime and your relationships. When it came to anniversaries and dates, the job always seemed to fall onto your shoulders. 

The way you loved him with your body, how your fingers delicate traced every inch of him. Each moan, thrust, kiss, everything during sex left you vulnerable to him, just how he liked it.

Yes, you loved Iwaizumi.

Despite him wanting to admit different, Iwaizumi knew you let him win every big argument even when he was wrong, simply because you couldn’t bare to be apart from him for long. 

When words got too heated and voices got louder, mainly from his part, Iwaizumi always stormed off and went for a walk. He’d be gone for hours and you’d be home, mind scrambling until some sort of wires in your brain connected and everything he did became excusable or it was your fault.

Iwaizumi knew you loved him with all your heart because each time he came home, his favorite meal would be on the table and you’d be curled into the couch, waiting for him to join you.

If someone in love didn’t have that softness in their tone like you did, have that pure glee in your smile whenever you caught sight of him, then they weren’t in love.

You were so bright, it was hard not to be lured into your aura, to not fall heads over heels in love with you, almost everyone did.

Every day, as he presses his lips onto yours, Iwaizumi curses himself that he wasn’t one of those people.

It wasn’t that Iwaizumi didn’t love you, no, he did. It’s in the sweet smile he gives you and the way he gets you flowers every Friday and never forgets how you like your coffee. Love is in the way he makes sure to never let go of your hand once you make contact and how he will always be at your aid, ready to fight for you.

Yeah, Iwaizumi Hajime loves you, but he’s not in love with you, not like you are with him.

Which leads to number three.

               Three, Oikawa Tooru was one of those people heads over heels.

Iwaizumi firsts notices how his confident best friend seemed to grow shy around your presence and how his eyes seemed to always find you the second you walk into a room in his second year.

You were introduced as their new manager and everyone, I mean everyone, was wary that you’d be just another crazed Oikawa fangirl, but you weren’t. You treated the pretty setter like any other player, in fact you actually seemed to dote on the first years instead. 

Iwaizumi actually realized that Oikawa had feelings for you before he realized you even thought of him like that. 

He didn’t realize until after one particular practice, your skin reflecting the golden rays that the sunset cast upon you both as you shyly bowed with an envelope smelling faintly of your perfume held tightly in your hands, a letter inside with black ink confessing all your feelings.

Iwaizumi didn’t come to the realization until later that night that a simple rejection was on the tip of his tongue until he glanced at the jacket around your shoulders.

‘(Y/N)-Chan! You’re cold, here where my jacket!’ ‘Thanks, Tooru! You’re a good friend!’

Poor fool didn’t even realize he said yes until his arms were wrapped around your frame.

And he felt bad, horrible, like the worst person on Earth after- especially when you announced your new founded relationship to the team. Among the teasing and humerous jealously, Iwaizumi’s dark eyes found Oikawa’s face.

Oikawa’s heartbroken, dejected, devastated face that he tried to hide behind excitement and happiness for his two best friends.

And fuck, Iwaizumi felt sick to his stomach. Despite his cocky, over dramatic, annoying ways, Shittykawa was his best friend. He remembers thinking ‘Yeah, I’ll break up with (Y/N) after practice, say I was just confused about my feelings.’

Yeah, it would have been a crappy thing to do, but you’d move on, Oikawa would be there to comfort you and maybe you two would fall in love like the sappy romance movies you both forced him to watch. 

Iwaizumi remembers everyday on why he didn’t pull you aside and confess his true lack of feelings for you.

It’s the way Oikawa’s hands linger on yours when you give him his towel, the prolonged eye contact he begs you to reciprocate. Brown eyes begging you to look away from Iwaizumi and to finally see him, the boy who stops humoring his fangirls the second you enter his view, the boy that bends over backwards just to see a glimpse of your smile aimed at him.

It’s the way he catches the pure envy in Oikawa’s eyes when you only look at your new boyfriend.

That envy doesn’t dissipate over the years, if anything, it’s increased tenfold. 

               Like now, Iwaizumi could feel the waves of bitterness and desire washing off Oikawa as he watches you two. 

The sound of the party music from downstairs does well enough to hide his oncoming entrance but Iwaizumi isn’t dumb, he spotted Oikawa peeking inside the master bedroom moments ago. He could only imagine the shock, the disgust, the jealously that flashed on Oikawa’s face as he found the girl he’s always wanted and her boyfriend fucking like bitches in heat.

Iwaizumi knows Oikawa wants to take his place, how he wants your body flushed against him, his fingers eliciting your sweet moans, his cock making you mewl and cry out, begging for more.

It only urges him to go faster, thrust into you harder until you crying out for his permission to cum.

The sounds you make turn into music for his ears, but nothing compares to the sound of the door closing and the faint sound of the someone running away from the door. 

Yes, there are three things he knows about you, he acknowledges as he collapses on your sweaty body, reveling in the way you wrap your arms around his frame, but there is one thing he knows about himself.

He was never going to give you up, especially to Tooru, even if you didn’t deserve it.

Iwaizumi didn’t care if he was selfish, he finally had the one thing Tooru doesn't. 

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #oikawa tooru #oikawa torū #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu angst

[phantomphangphucker]

Legless On Maim Chap. 9: Gifts Of Time, Science, And Space

ClockWork is surprisingly helpful. Danny’s surprisingly not. Jack and Maddie are surprisingly good at ethical(ish) human(ish) medicine(ish). Lewis is surprisingly not and accidentally makes a ghost. And the duo that is Venom are surprisingly... surprising.

ClockWork smiles fondly, leans over, and pats Danny’s head, “I’m perfectly sound of mind and Core, child”. Danny only groans loudly in response.

But this is enough to get Maddie and Jack to their feet and drawing weapons, though not pointing them because something’s going on here. Jazz practically bolting into the kitchen and looking like she’s ten seconds away from blocking their line of fire and screaming ‘NO!’, only encourages them to hold off more. They knew Danny was close to her, trusted her, maybe told her things they didn’t know?

The ghost turns to the pair of hunters, them floating over the table, and actually bows exaggeratedly with a cheeky smirk, “greetings, Madeline and Jackson”. Jack blinks, having not been called that since he was basically born and they had to tell the nurse what to put on his birth certificate. While the ghost looks to Lewis, “as for the who, Lewis-”, making Lewis quirk an eyebrow over them following Danny in using his last name, “-you’d be right in assuming I’m ClockWork”, looking back to the hunters, “the ghost of time, or spirit, as you’ve chosen to dub the created dead”, grinning, “we prefer neverborn ghost of course. Born ghosts prefer unlived ghost”.

Danny lifts his head off the table to the sight of his parents' open mouth gaping at ClockWork, groans and bangs his head on the table again. ClockWork patting his head with their tail before Danny lifts his head up, returns his chin to his palm and sighs, “ClockWork, there are days I really wonder if you just like making me suffer”, sighing again while his parents give him really weird looks. Danny glances from his folks worriedly to ClockWork, looking mildly unimpressed and exasperated, “you’re gonna make me explain all this, aren’t you?”.

Jack raises an eyebrow at Danny, “Danny-boy? Do you... know them?”.

Danny slips his head off his palm and lets his face bang into the table yet again, “ugh. Yes”, lifting a hand limply and gesturing at ClockWork, his face still on the table, “Clocky. Timepants. Pocket-watch. Timedaddy. Kronos, when they’re being a real old-timer stickler”, sighing, “they’re kinda my-”, he’s probably going to regret deciding that lying wasn’t worth the effort here, “-ghost parent?”.

ClockWork shifts to their elderly form, “you say that as if it is a question”.

Danny lifts up his head purely to scowl at them, “oh my Ancients”.

“Yes?”.

Danny’s scowl deepens but he doesn’t get to say anything as Maddie cuts in, managing to sound only slightly accusing, “what does he mean, ghost”, glancing at Danny and softening her expression a little, clearly silently asking him the same question but nicer.

Jack nodding stiffly, “uh, yeah”.

ClockWork says precisely nothing, instead shifting to a child and sitting on Danny’s shoulder. Danny turns his head to gape at them, “seriously?”.

Lewis chuckles, “well I certainly see where Danny gets his mischievous side now”. ClockWork was absolutely a trouble maker and prankster. And fine, if prankster god wasn’t slightly horrifying.

Resulting in Danny screwing up his face and giving Lewis the most overacted ‘you did not just say that’ face ever, that effectively conveyed ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’ in about sixty-nine different languages. ClockWork just pats Danny’s head.

Danny looks back to his folks at his mom clearing her throat. Him chuckling awkwardly, “uh”, deciding screw it, it’s way too bloody late for this to not be awkwarder than a snow bunny trying to relax in someone's venti cup filled with espresso shots. Gesturing with both hands from ClockWork to his parents, “ClockWork, my parents; not that you didn’t already know that”, gesturing from his parents back to ClockWork, “mom and dad, ClockWork; my ghostly guardian because I am a child and ghostly enough to qualify for this shit and my life is bullshit and the universe has a horrible sense of humour and yeah okay I’m exactly the kind of mess to have a technical god watching over me more literally and this probably makes, like, zero sense and I’d rather you not shoot them and I have no idea why they’re here now and I'm just going to shut up now”, clacking his teeth shut and leaning back against his chair with his arms crossed. ClockWork, now an adult, repositioning to appear to be sitting on the top of the chair back (obviously they are actually floating though).

Jack and Maddie blink, exchange a Look, and go back to eyeing ClockWork -who’s suddenly a child again- warily; though they look less like they’re trying to restrain hostility and more simply cautious. Maddie sitting down slowly and stiffly, effectively pulling Jack to sit down as well, “explain”, her then glaring/squinting at the ghost, “why are you here”. Both of those were technically supposed to be questions but that didn’t sound even slightly like questions.

Danny seriously resists saying ‘I kinda just did’ both because that wouldn’t do him any good here and because she’s asking to explain the explanation. Jazz gives him an encouraging nudge as she relaxes and sits down herself; now sure her parents aren’t going to attempt to attack.

Danny swallows, “um, like I said. Ghostly parent. Guardian. Mentor. Teacher. Guide”, oh he is so never going to hear the end of this. Of him having a Guardian and being taught ghost things, and not telling his ghost crazed ectologist/hunter parents. Never. But his parents, or his mom at least, seemed to understand him not being super open with his ghostly shit. With him hiding it. So maybe. Just maybe. They’ll get him hiding this too. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not. Big difference between ‘my body does weird ghost shit’ and ‘I hang out with literal ghosts’. Massive fucking difference. Huge. And ClockWork’s over here being their typical calm collected self. Jerk. Though that was probably a way of saying ‘this is fine and will be fine’; not gonna stop Danny from being a paranoid little bitch. Danny breaks the silence by reopening his mouth, looking to his mom, “um. They’re who I meant by that wise ‘friend’ I mentioned”.

Maddie squints at him a little before nodding and glancing back to the ghost. So this ghost -spirit or ‘neverborn’?- loved the living? That was... arguably good... okay. But she’s still not sure what’s even going on here. How can he ‘have a ghost parent’? That makes no sense. And pointing that out just effectively made Danny repeat himself, so obviously this didn’t cross his mind as ‘not normal’. She’s pretty damn certain a ghost wasn’t present when she gave birth to him, and carried him, and literally everything else. And he wasn’t born like this, born with a Core and ectoplasm. She would have noticed something like that. So what really is this ClockWork to him? Or how do they have the familial relationship Danny’s saying they do. Again Danny didn’t find this odd, so do ghosts just... get assigned a mentor ghost? That makes zero sense. Ghosts knew how to be ghosts from the get-go... right? But also, what the heck was some ghost -maybe ‘needed’ or not- teaching her son?

Jack tilts his head, watching the currently child-like ghost give Danny a little head pat. His son glancing up with the typical scowl he gave to the two of them for doing that or ruffling his hair, even looking a bit fond? And that wasn’t something that could really be faked. So close for sure. His boy was close with a ghost! What does he even do with this? Is it good? Bad? Kinda cool? If ghostie really was friendly -huh, friendly ghost, who would have thought? Danny apparently- then it was cool. The things he could learn! But how? “How are you related?”, Jack shakes his head, “wait no, they said created so no relatives at all”. Then squinting and becoming just a little giddy. Wait! They confirmed a theory! Or more so Dan’s theory. Blurting out, “you’re needed!”, pausing, right no assumptions anymore, “or are you?”.

ClockWork grins, “ghost of time. The time stream would quite effectively collapse without me”. A truly unfortunate truth. ClockWork lets them sit on that for a beat before adding, “of course I am an unfade so that hardly matters”.

Jack and Maddie blink, “an ’unfade’”, attempting to take this in stride.

“Indestructible. Immortal. I am an endless thing. I have always been and will always be”.

Jazz decides now would be a good point to interject, before her parents start building a questionnaire, “alright, I’m sure you didn’t show up to answer questions. So why are you here and could it have waited till after everyone had slept?”, Danny especially needed all the sleep he could muster.

ClockWork grins, “they asked to meet a good ghost, so I decided to let them. Though I can be more of a neutral when it comes to the universe or existence itself”. Ultimately, seeking to extend the existence of the universe and maintain the stability of time, were ‘good’ goals and jobs.

Lewis can’t help but chuckle, that was so painfully mundane but with complete chaos as a result. Which gets Maddie’s attention on him, “you are... very calm”. Maddie officially feels like Dan might have a better disposition for her job than she does.

Danny grumbles, “tell me about it”, because seriously, come on! Looking to ClockWork, “for the love of everything, tell me you had more reason than that?”.

Jazz butting in again, “no. No more questions. You all need to go to bed. And I need to go back to it”. Earning some neck rubbing from Danny. Maddie and Jack just gesture -with both hands- at ClockWork like that is reason enough for them not to. Jazz stands up, hands on her hips, “no. Bed. Now”.

ClockWork smirks and closes their eyes slightly, “I’ll make sure to tuck Daniel in then”. Making both parents immediately exclaim, “no! You’re a stranger to us! And a ghost!”. Which Danny glares at them over a little.

Jazz throws up her hands, “why do I try”, and attempts to smack ClockWork over the head, “you’re as bad as Danny”, blinking at her hand, which of course had just phased through ClockWork.

Danny snorts, “why did you think that would work? They see the future”.

Jazz points at him, “proof we need sleep”.

Jack lifts up a finger and opens his mouth, though closing his mouth at getting a harsh glare from his daughter. ClockWork answer his question anyway, no clue how the ghost knew what it was though, “the time stream flows trough my Core, to be without me would be rather similar to brewing coffee without the filter and picking your beans blindly”.

Lewis mutters, “the horror”, sarcastically. While ClockWork continues, “the universe would get nothing short of a mess and would likely throw out the end result with haste. And Madeline? I have in fact been watching over him since before you had been born yourself”, looking with an almost mean smirk to Jazz, “preventing your parents from speaking will not alter the fact that they did speak in another time”.

Jack is almost smiling over the new info and Maddie just looks incredibly confused. While Jazz sighs and rubs her temples, “at the very least Danny should sleep. If you’re a ‘parent’ then shouldn’t you be focused on his heath?”.

ClockWork smirks more, “and I am. After all, there are some timely issues. What better to empower timing mechanisms than-”, shifting to an elder, “-old man time, the being that empowers time itself”. Danny puts a hand over his mouth and chuckles; not even attempting to figure out what ClockWork means.

Lewis quirks an eyebrow, “you’re referring to the timer I’m guessing? I find it interesting that a ghost would be offering to help ghost hunters with their tech. Which is usually used for ghost hunting”. This gets literally everyone else to raise their eyebrows.

ClockWork shrugs very subtly, “they could hardly do me harm, and ghost hunting is far from the purpose here”, grinning and side-eyeing Danny, “put that tail to good use, people do tend to keep around that which is useful”.

Danny’s pretty sure he’s the only one who got that. ClockWork absolutely was enjoying his effectively full-time tail. Cheeky bastard. Rolling his eyes a little bit with a small smile at ClockWork poking his tail with theirs; letting his tail uncoil from the chair and effectively wind around and fiddle with ClockWork’s a little. Then scowling at Jazz for giggling at him.

Jack is struggling not to grin, only even trying not to due to this being a ghosts that deserves suspicion. Maddie furrows her eyebrows, “‘help with the timer’?”, then sounding very suspicious, “how?”, then glancing at Danny’s tail basically wrapped around the base of ClockWork’s, whose tail tip is patting his. The ghost seemed to imply It-they wanted him to keep the tail; not that there was another option. But why? Though come to think of it, she hadn’t seen them with legs at all, “is your tail constant?”.

Danny honestly feels quite pleased with himself and proud of his mom over her being kinda freindlyish. Danny deciding to be forthcoming to at least attempt to make up for never telling his folks about his Guardian; leaning forward, “yup”. ClockWork adding, “it is a common theme for Neverborn’s, yes”. Which Danny nods over. Nocturne, UnderGrowth, Vortex, the Observants, Remi, Silver; none of them had legs. Pandora and FrightKnight were two exceptions he knew of though.

ClockWork nods to themselves when Maddie hums acceptingly and thoughtfully, rightfully coming to the conclusion that they liked Daniel being similar to them; though she blames at least some of Daniel’s tolerance of his tail on them, which wasn't wholly wrong. “And Lewis’s guess is once again, correct. As is your guess that creating a stronger timer is simply beyond your capabilities”.

Maddie can’t help scowling at that while Jack pipes up, “I’m sure we could with enough resources”, managing to keep his tone down.

Jazz leans her head on the table and sighs. She’s staying awake at this point to keep an eye on her parents.

ClockWork chuckles faintly, “for what you seek to achieve, you would need-”, digging in their pocket, “-one of these”, and holds up the time medallion. ClockWork wastes no time in explaining away the twos confusion, “this is a time medallion. Only I can create them. They can allow the wearer exclusion from time or the manipulation of it. To travel to points in time or alter the flow of time, if settings are right. Only I can alter their settings. Though I can also grant another the ability to. If fused to a being they could even give a slight awareness of the future”, grinning almost meanly, “something that can entirely stop the flow of time around a being can certainly keep up with your creation”. ClockWork pockets the medallion while the three adults all gape slightly, ClockWork pulling out their own little timer device -that effectively looked like a silver time medallion with clock hands for adjustment nobs in the centre, all inside a dark gray circle- and holds it out to Jack; the more likely one take it. Unsurprised at Maddie instantly snatching it right out of Jack's hands, curious and mistrustful.

Maddie flips it over, noting that it was already completely compatible and based on the alignments was designed for waist placement; slightly to the right though. Glancing back at the ghost and noting their cloak clasp was a fair bit on the right, they were setting up the CyberSteps to copy them; and she’s gonna bet her and Jack can’t modify this. But no way in Hell were they sticking something that was a near unknown on their boy, especially if it was designed by a ghost; trying out Danny’s ghost-friendly approach or not. But if this was genuine and this ghost right, then they effectively gave Danny back functioning ‘legs’. She should probably thank them, giving a very very very awkward, “thank...you?”.

Danny blinks, goes slack-jawed, and leans back against his chair, mumbling, “my folks just thanked a ghost". Sure it was ClockWork but still. He’s made way more headway than he thought or his folks were trying really hard to chill the ghost hate. Sharing a surprised look with Jazz, also gives him a little wide-eyed encouraging smile.

ClockWork smirks and leans towards Danny’s ear, “I also have something of a job for you”.

Danny muttering while side-eyeing them, “uh, does it involve shooting you”, because seriously ClockWork. Thanks but, fuck.

“You’re welcome to try, Daniel”. Making Danny rolls his eyes, while ClockWork gives him another head pat before simply disappearing; leaving slightly awkward silence in their wake.

Jazz, surprisingly, is the one to break it. Pushing herself to stand up and asking in a way that sounds more like a command, “so can we go to bed now?”.

Lewis chuckles into his hand, “do you really think they will with that”, and points at the CW timer. The parents looking to it, Maddie biting her lip while Jack just looks excited; clearly tired though.

Jazz puts her hands on her hips and levels them with a glare, “that is a complete unknown to you. Do you seriously think you should be messing with that without sleeping?”, them inventing/working on sleep deprivation lead to either really weird inventions or a lot of destruction. And that was a gift (technically) from ClockWork, in two years she only knows of one thing ClockWork’s gifted Danny; a necklace with a stylised ‘CW’ in silver. Danny absolutely will be possessive and territorial -he’d honestly probably try snatching it from them if he wasn’t sleep-deprived himself- of it. So no way he’d sleep if they stayed up tinkering with it.

Jazz decides to take the initiative when her parents nod. Her pulling Lewis to stand up and pointing at his face, “you, make sure Danny sleeps. Then sleep yourself”. Danny throws a pouty look at her so she glares are him before making shooing motions at Lewis.

Lewis shakes his head with a chuckle and waves for Danny to follow, “I guess the sister hath spoken”, earning a round of weak laughs. Danny does actually float after him though, glancing over his shoulder at his folks and eyeballing the CW timer.

Lewis speaking up again at Danny’s door, “working legs, no revealing your legs, ghost bonding; guess your life’s glass is looking pretty half full”.

Danny pauses and blinks at him, before smirking weakly, “I’m pretty sure the entire bloody glass got ground into my fucking eyeballs when I fucking died”. Lewis doesn’t really have a response for that other than a chuckle, because yeah Danny’s luck was pretty bad.

Jazz nods curtly at the stairs before rounding on her parents, pointing at the CW timer, “no taking that apart, I don’t even want to know what might happen”, sighing, “and that’s a gift from ClockWork. I think it’s obvious Danny’s close with them, so think how hurt he would probably be if you wrecked it”. She decides she made the right call at both grimacing a little.

Maddie gets up, cradling the contraption cautiously, and nods, “right, thanks Jazz honey. I’m... going to put it in containment though”. Jack scurrying after her as she heads down to the lab. Jazz standing in the lab doorway, arms crossed, and making it very clear she will try to physically drag them to bed.

Maddie, unsurprisingly, doesn’t sleep very long; waking around nine. She spends about half an hour making coffee and sipping it at the table, getting a little surprised when Lewis comes down the stairs and pours himself a cup.

Lewis answers her question before she even asks it, “I’m used to working late shifts and morning shifts back to back. The occasional emergency call”. One needed to be bendable with their sleep schedule to be in the medical field. Another reason Danny was well suited. Sitting, “I take it you don’t sleep well on an active mind?”.

Maddie sighs and shakes her head, “no. Especially with a ghost being able to get into the house without any warnings or defences going off. Things put in place purely to prevent that”.

Lewis chuckles, yeah he could understand why she might have a few issues with that. “That ghost seemed more akin to a god. So I doubt defences really matter”.

Maddie sighs again, that in itself was an issue. She had managed to scan the ecto-signature ClockWork left behind, twenty-eight. Twenty-eight. Pariah had been a twenty-five. This ghost was the strongest they’d ever encountered, almost the strongest possible. And had some kind of positive relation with her son. “ClockWork scans at twenty-eight, so you’re not wrong”.

Lewis quirks an inquisitive eyebrow, “Danny might have mentioned the ecto-scale but I can’t say I know what each level means”. Twenty-eight was obviously incredibly strong though.

Maddie nods, “it doesn't mean much, but it tells us how a ghost compares to others. It goes up in increments. Basically, a two is as strong as a one and a half. A three is as strong as two twos. A four is as strong as two threes and a half. And so on. So the higher the numbers the bigger the gap. So a twenty-eight would be fourteen and a half times as strong as a twenty-seven”, sighing, “a thirty though doesn’t follow the algorithm, a thirty is twenty times as strong as a twenty-nine. I’m not sure why Danny changed it for that level, but he’s got a good sense about more tech or biological ghost things”. Which just makes her wonder why the Hell they never listened to him before on the things that didn’t line up with their theories. But then again, Danny’s theory on power levels had been proven in the field. They hadn’t believed him at first because the algorithm he made was frankly terrifying. Sure the fact that Danny’s scale accounted for things like general ectoplasm (one), ghost plants (two), and whisps (three); helped but still. Technus was a seven and he could be tricky to beat when he didn’t sabotage himself. (Trying to use ‘proper pronouns’ for ghosts, which Danny always seemed to preach, was... strange). And this ClockWork was effectively six-hundred-and-twenty-two-thousand times stronger. Course ectoplasmic power only meant so much, Technus was generally easy to defeat; very easy.

Maddie speaks back up at Lewis’s impressed whistle, “what really matters is the class of a ghost. Class takes into account powers, enhancements, and restrictions. One through six. A six could effectively end the world easily”, furrowing her eyebrows, “ClockWork’s a five, which seems strange”, that kind of power, time control and omniscience, seemed practically like ultimate power. What was holding them back? Or maybe they lacked powers other ghosts had?

Lewis chuckles, nods, and sips at his cup. That kind of power was pretty nuts, and man was he glad Eddie just dealt with regular ol’ humans. No gods, no alternate dimensions, no royalty, no symbiote hunters. Danny was in a whole nother league. But at least Danny’s enemies kinda respected him or straight up seemingly liked him. And he had powerful allies. Anne was right though, Eddie will be so severely out of his depth, Danny very much being a teen will help with that though.

Maddie speaks up again, breaking the slightly comfortable silence, “I wonder if Danny knows any other ghosts personally”, it would seem logical that he did. Wouldn’t make sense to just be friends, family?, with one powerful one. People don’t start out befriending the top dogs, they start at the bottom. And she’ll admit to being suspicious that Danny might have befriended some of the local ghosts. Had worried his ‘too friendly’ attitude about ghosts had extended to actually being friendly. That worry was apparently founded, but... it really was seeming like Danny was right which meant that this wasn’t exactly bad. Just... concerning. And Danny hiding his friend(s), family?, from her, from Jack, was honestly more upsetting at this point. Even if she understands his reasoning. She had hid her relationship with Jack from her parents for somewhat similar reasons after all.

Lewis pointedly looks around and covers his mouth with the cup, he’s not saying shit. Though there’s really no point in saying ‘no’.

Maddie glances at him a couple of times and squints, catching him clearly trying to restrain a small smile, “he does, doesn’t he”, that was definitely not a question.

Lewis makes eye contact and smirks in genuine, “well, at least one other has checked up on him to my knowledge. And that Skulker one has approached me about his legs; Danny did say he makes good pie too”. Sure, it was for ‘his pelt’ but he’d bet money that ghost was really fond of Danny.

The first thing that goes through Maddie’s head is that one is a known threat, a ‘villain’ ghost, why and how had Danny made ‘friends’ with It- him? The second thing is... wait he bakes? And it’s edible? But ghosts don’t eat, right?

Lewis keeps going, “Skulker also seems to like the idea of Danny having my job, though that might have encouraged him to teach Danny knife skills or something. And the other ghost, Johnny I’m pretty sure, threatened me because he thought I might be hurting him”, might as well hammer home that ghosts at least kinda cared about Danny. Would help with the whole ‘getting them to not hate ghosts or think they’re evil post-human manifestations’ thing.

Maddie blinks and stares at Lewis a bit, what? “That... doesn’t make sense”. The biker was another ‘villain’ ghost. Less ‘villain’ more ‘delinquent’, but tried to use her little girl so he was pure evil to Maddie. And didn’t Danny punch It-him? They’re not friends, that wouldn’t make sense. So why would he be attempting to protect Danny? And she still couldn’t picture that metal ghost baking anything. Unless... going a little wide-eyed, “teaching. Feeding. Protecting”, shaking her head a little and sounding almost awed, “they view him as one of them... but weak... and small”, blinking and muttering down at the table, “like a cat taking in a baby squirrel”. Or like Tarzan or a human raised by wolves. Her awe getting an edge of horror because just what were these ghosts teaching her baby boy?

Lewis decides against saying anything, because Danny got the shit kicked out of him by these ghosts. He can’t point that out without being seriously suspicious. And it would be pretty pointless.

Danny sticks his head in the kitchen at that very moment, likely having heard Maddie’s entire comment. Okay, Lewis is sure he did based off of looking like he’s trying to force his smile to not look completely and utterly nervous; the little ‘shut the fuck up, what were you thinking’ look he throws Lewis’s way really emphasises that. Maddie looking to him still wide-eyed probably doesn’t help the kids nerves.

Danny gives a little stiff wave, which he’s hoping is blamed on the restrictive braces, as he goes to start up (much stronger)coffee for himself. Part of him is glad she gets up to try and help after a beat -trying to pick up cups with finger braces was not easy okay?- but also, he can do it himself thank you very much. “I’m fine”.

Maddie pulls her hands back, holding them to her chest, “right right”, that ghostly pride thing. Instead awkwardly watching him fiddle with the machine. Danny almost wants to beg her to stop hovering.

Danny clutches his cup like it’ll give him life as he sits down, tail curling up and tip flicking in the air, “so... dad still sleeping?”.

Maddie nodding and giving an awkward, “yup”. As silence descends, only broken up by the occasional sipping sound from Danny.

Danny practically launches himself out of his seat when Tucker effectively kicks in the door, “dude, weekend time so you know I ain’t leaving your as... butt alone”, and waves innocently at Maddie; while Danny reacquaints himself with his chair.

Danny chuckles faintly, “no Sam?”, he knew Valerie was working this weekend.

Tucker quirks an eyebrow at him as he plants himself at the table, totally obvious to Mrs. Fenton’s tension, “I’m surprised you don’t know? Her mom dragged her off to a gala”. Danny pulls out his phone and cringes at the wall of ranting all caps in the chat.

Maddie sighs and shakes her head, using this a conversational life raft, “I’ll make her cookies”, why baking never came to life but cooking usually did, she’s not sure she’ll ever know. Well there was that one time with muffins, but that was intentional.

Danny goes wide-eyed and pokes Lewis with his tail, “you. You owe Tuck food. Bake shit”. Lewis raises disbelieving eyebrows at him so Danny explains, “well technically I owe him your baking. Tomato potato”.

Lewis chuckles with a head shake and gets up, “I guess I’ll see what there is to work with here”. Maddie getting up to show him were everything was; still feeling stiff and a little freaked.

Tucker grins, free food! “Sweet!”, turning to Danny, “so hurry up and get leggy again. Vampire Dad two is coming out, like, now”.

Danny rolls his eyes and rubs at his neck, “eh, that might happen sooner rather than later”, glancing at his moms back as she stiffens a little and pulls out a square pan rather jerkily, “CW showed up and lent a hand”.

Tucker’s eyebrows shoot up, he glances at Maddie quickly, “shit seriously?”. Danny nods and nods again when Tucker side-eyes his mom, clearly asking if she saw them. Tucker shakes his head, “they’re as nuts and reckless as you. If that even applies to them”. Danny can’t help chuckling at that ’cause it wasn't really either when you knew the outcome beforehand.

Lewis mutters, “yeah sure fine, I got this”, as he looks over ingredients while Maddie turns to face the boys.

“About that... how do you know them? And the... family thing?”.

Just as Danny’s opening his mouth to answer Jack barges in, looking drastically more awake than everyone else, “without me, Mads?”. Making her blush.

Tucker pats Danny on the shoulder supportively, that just gets Mrs. Fenton’s attention on him though, “you know don’t you?”.

Tucker shrugs with very intentional nonchalance, “I doubt there’s anything me and Sam don’t know about Danny-dude”.

Maddie nods, resisting sighing. She’s not exactly surprised. A little bothered? Yes. But not surprised. Those three were close, closer than she thought friends could be. She hadn’t noticed until Danny seemingly knew Sam’s bra size like it wasn’t odd for him to know that. And she’s sure she’s overheard that Sam pays for Tucker’s replacement glances; she’s not sure how they get broken so much. Shaking her head, not important right now, “well I guess I’m glad you’re close then”, looking to Danny, “so?”. While Jack sits down looking a little over-eager.

Danny gives Tucker a nearly pleading ‘help?’ look, so he gives him another pat, “all you man, your parents”, shrugging, “and it’s not like anyone other than you knows much about them. In fact-”, getting up, “-I think I’ll go help Lewis”. Danny whips Tucker’s ankle with his tail for that, nearly making the boy face-plant. Tucker mumbling sarcastically, “you'll regret that one day when I’m mayor”.

Danny whispers in ghosts with a smirk, “p͘͡ri͝n̡̛c̢͘e͜͝”, knowing Tucker knows exactly what he said; regardless of not knowing the language. Then clearing his throat and looking to his folks, “heh”, shaking his head, “uh, anyways. I, uh, meet them when they kinda savedallourlives”, chuckling awkwardly and shaking off the unpleasant memories, he is not getting into that with his folks, “But they, well, broke the law? in the way they helped, so that pretty much made me their responsibility. And they’re, uh, how I knew the impurity in Vlad’s ecto-acne. So kinda saved him too”.

Maddie cuts in before he can continue, “so this ‘ghost parent’ thing wasn’t really intentional or... willing?”. Making Jack frown.

Danny grimaces, “not really? ClockWork knew what would happen, explicitly. So willing and wanted there. They could have helped in a different way. So, uh, also technically intentional. And for me?”, shrugging, “I didn’t know Guardians were a thing so really couldn’t be intentional. I guess technically not willing either but-”, smiling sheepishly, “-who the Hell gets to pick their family?”, shrugging, “and I like them”.

Jack can’t help but chuckle at that. Danny-boy did have a point there. He’s fairly sure almost no one would willingly chose them as parents. And wow, he effectively had ghost family! How weird was that?! ‘Cause Danny’s family meant Jack’s family. Period. And any ghost who saved his boy -and apparently his entire family and Vladdie!- certainly couldn’t be evil and deserved some trust. Though he can’t help worrying that this ghost wanted to be Danny’s ‘guardian’ intentionally for bad reasons. He’s sure Mads is worried about that too. “But son, there’s something I don’t get? Why? Why would they want this? Want you? Heck! Why and how is ghost adoption even a thing?”.

Maddie nods at Jack before looking to Danny and frowning a little, “you’re human; even if slightly ghostly. The child of ghost hunters; even if you’re probably not going to be one yourself. And they’re, well, ridiculously strong; wouldn’t it make more sense to want a, how do I put this? strong kid?”, furrowing her brows and knowing Danny’s probably not going to take this well, “it’s not because of us being hunters is it? Because sweetie, I very well could see a ghost trying to get to us through you and Jazz”.

Tucker, next to Lewis, having just nodded that ‘yes, adding fudge is a good idea’, very heavily cringes. Even him and Sam knew better than to question ClockWork’s motives especially regarding their fondness for Danny. That was a good way to get a pissed off Danny. Or in Tucker’s case, shot in the face -or the crotch, that one notable time- with an ecto-beam. He does not recommend.

Danny, surprising no one, scowls and actually snaps with a bit of a snarl and power behind it, “no”, making everyone jerk a little. Maddie and Jack going a little wide-eyed, and Tucker cringing more. While Danny continues, tail actively lashing at the air aggressively and occasionally constricting around the chair legs hard enough to make creaking sounds, “you have nothing to do with it. Nothing. So don’t go there”, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose and grumbling angrily in ghost, “sh̶͡ơ̶u̸̢͡l̴d̡͝ h҉͞av͢͠e ̷f̨įgu̢r̷͜͝ęd.̴͜ ̴̶O͠f̶͢ ̸͢fuc͘k̨̧i͞n̷̛͢g̸̕͠ c͏o̸u͢r҉se͞.̧̡ ̨G̶̢hos̷t̨s̸͞ ͟͡s̕t͢ill ̢̢c͘͟͝a̢͘n’̷͡t ͘͟b͡e ̛tru̷̧̧st̴ed̶̕ ̢͝hų̧h̴.̨ ̴F̕͜u͜҉c͝ķ͟i͡n̷̕g̴ ͘͞͞A͟͠n͝c̕͝i̸̵e҉͞n̨͜҉t͘s̕”.

ClockWork picks that very moment to appear out of thin air, smacking Danny (somewhat gently)on the head with their staff, “they mean nothing by it. One can hardly expect the uninformed to understand. So explain”, and promptly disappears... again; leaving everyone (but Danny) gaping.

Danny makes some kind of whiney noise, puts both his hands over his head, and turns to exaggeratedly pout at the air where ClockWork had been.

Tucker wheezes and slowly crumples to the floor, “you’ve been told! Ha!”.

Danny turns to scowl at him, hands still on his head, “shut it, Tuck”. Dropping his hands and looking to his still gaping parents, “so... that just happened”.

Lewis chuckles faintly at that, “kid, that was worse than the time a friend of mine literally got shot, just took a sip of some fruity drink and asked the guy how the weather was”.

“Well if there was a tornado, that would be logical”.

Lewis actually turns around and points the batter spoon at him, “no. No it was not. Now stop being a little shit and talk to your parents before they blow a gasket”.

Danny rubs his neck awkwardly and looks to his folks, “um... sorry for going a bit... ballistic there. But, uh, I don’t take well to that. So just don't, okay? Their intentions are good, let’s just leave it at that”.

Jack and Maddie make a few unusual faces before nodding a bit. Jack clearing his throat, “alright, son. Does... that happen a lot?”, and nocks on his head for emphasis.

Tucker lays on the ground laughing, making Danny roll his eyes but losing a fair bit of tension. Danny grumbling petulantly, “only when I’m being stupid...”, smirking slightly, “or trying to use them for a prank”.

Lewis smirks himself and speaks while spreading batter, “so all the time?”. Danny turns his head and gives the back of Lewis’s head an overacted scowl. Lewis only smirks more over that.

Maddie clears her throat, recapturing Danny’s attention. Danny chuckles awkwardly, “right, explaining”, furrowing his eyebrows and sounding sheepish, “what were the questions again?”.

Jack chuckles a little at that while Maddie smiles and answers, “just why would a ghost adopt, adopt you specifically. Would want to”.

Danny nods, “right. I guess that might be confusing”, seeing as they didn’t know he was a ghost. And huh, the whole concept of Guardians was probably foreign to them. Probably should have realised that sooner.

Lewis snorts, “‘might’?”.

Danny turns to him, “you’re Mr. Snark today, huh?”.

Lewis shrugs, “eh, friends didn’t react to the fact that I’m making brownies”, turning and pointing at Danny, “that’s concerning”, before turning back around to slide the pan into the oven.

Danny blinks, right Vee was chocolate crazy. Really chocolate crazy. “Fair”, Far be it for him to harp on someone for being paranoid and worried over someone’s safety. Then smirking a little, “though if they’re hungry they can just get a bowl of Symbi-oats”, he can read a tired sigh/groan in Lewis’s body language.

“They’re not huge fans of cereal. They eat a lot of Chinese though”.

Danny snorts, “everyone already knows they love rawmen, Lewis”, successfully getting the guy to choke.

Danny promptly looks back to his folks and rubs his neck, “it would be easier to just, well, explain Guardianship in general?”, continuing when they both nod acceptingly, “cool, um okay. Well, so like, when ghosts form they form all their ectoplasm and Core yeah? But, like, there are adult ghosts and child ghosts. Dead ghosts always start out as child ghosts whether they died a child or not. Ditto for born ghosts”, shrugging awkwardly, “created’s are a toss-up”, shaking his head, “anyway. Child ghosts have... immature I guess? Cores. They’re weaker, less powers, less stable, more unruly and reckless; lots of things. Usually kinda sucky at being a ghost and look more like when they were alive. Adult ghosts are just instinctively or naturally a bit protective or teachery towards child ghosts”, shrugging, “kinda like humans and babies really“.

Jack and Maddie blink, Maddie opens and closes her mouth a few times so Danny pauses to let her think. Her eventually speaking up, “so ghosts.... collectively care for younger ones”, and blinks in shock a bit more because that is so far out of alignment with what they thought of ghosts.

Danny wiggles his hand in the air, “ehhhhhh, I wouldn’t go that far. Child ghosts are the most likely to get, well, murdered”.

“Oh”.

Danny nods, “yeah”, clearing his throat, “most child ghosts will get taken in or under the wing of or whatever; by an adult they impress or that likes them or is just similar to them or maybe related in life”, shrugging, “eh, it varies”.

Jack butts in at that, “what one’s ClockWork?”.

Danny shrugs and rubs his neck, “the, uh, situation with us is a little, different”, straightening up, “they literally broke time and temporal laws for me. That’s kinda super serious. Though they did that because they like me and I impressed them. Some other things”.

Maddie and Jack decide against pressing him, since he didn’t exactly react well to Maddie questioning ClockWork’s motives before. Instead Maddie asks, “okay, but generally, why would a ghost do this? It just- I guess it just doesn’t make sense to us, sweetie”.

Danny bites back muttering about how that’s because of their bigoted opinions on ghosts, thinking they’re unfeeling uncaring evil chaos-loving monsters. Though the chaos-loving part was true. Monster was debatable. “Because they want an apprentice, or heir, or are lonely, or just genuinely care. Though I guess it does benefit the adult ghost some”, shrugging, “makes both adult and child stronger. If the child accomplishes lots, it makes them look good, y’ know like it does with human parents”.

Maddie nods, “for power I can understand”, making Danny roll his eyes a little. Which really just confirms that he still thought they were overly anti-ghost.

“Yeah well, it’s not much so it would be stupid to become someone’s Guardian purely for power. Stupid”.

Jack scratches his head, ignoring the banging of Lewis and Tucker cleaning up, “couldn't they just drop the... child ghost?”.

Maddie nods at him before looking back to Danny, “like with human adoption?”.

Danny shakes his head immediately, “nope. A bond thing kinda forms that lasts as long as they both exist; whether the child ‘grows up’ or not”.

Both parents blink, Jack mouthing ‘wow’. Maddie bites her lip, “so you are... bound to ClockWork?”, she’s not sure what to do with this information.

Danny gives an awkward nod, he gets that there’s really no way for that not to bother them, “yeah”, tapping his chest brace over his Core, “my Core recognises them as Guardian and reacts, um, accordingly”.

Jack and Maddie share a Look, and Lewis glances over pointedly curious. Maddie’s the one to speak though, “and what’s ‘accordingly’?”.

Tucker snickers and speaks almost meanly, leaning over at Danny, “like a little kid”, snickering more, “Sam has a few embarrassing photos”.

Lewis looks to him, “I’m curious”.

Danny turns to point at him, “no, bad doctor”, and subtly flicks snow from his tail at the guy’s legs.

Lewis rolls his eyes, “can’t be any worse than Vee covered in marshmallows eating chicken with a coffee mug on their head. Or literally any photo of a heavily drunk Eddie; the most recent featuring him trying to eat a tv and covered in party hats”. Tucker wheezes, Danny and Jack joining in after a beat.

Jack glances at the oven and back to Maddie, “cookies?”. Making her sigh and nod. Lewis shrugging and literally undoes all his cleaning to get ingredients and supplies.

Jack grins at the cookie sheets before looking back to Danny, “so you act like a child around ClockWork, eh?”. Danny just blushes and looks around anywhere but his dad at that; which just makes him laugh heartily.

Jack grins widely to himself, he’d kinda like to see that. Danny-boy had been a darn cute, goofy, and dramatic kid. That did explain all the banging his head on the table dramatics yesterday, or this morning technically. And the tail coiling was kinda like a kid grabbing at their parents' hands. Well shit, that’s adorable and makes him grin like an idiot a little. Little Danny did used to get mesmerised by Jack’s hands, mostly ‘cause of size difference though! And there was that pouting act he did! Maybe more genuine childish pout? Less mischievous drama? Jack’s attention getting grabbed by Lewis pulling out the brownies, “wait, is there fudge in those!”, and practically going to pounce on them.

Maddie shoos Jack off, “wait a little, dear. How about you and Danny wait in the living room till the cookies are at least in the oven?”. Jack groans but nods. Maddie speaking to Danny before Jack has a chance to drag him off, “one thing I still don’t get though? Core and everything else or not, you’re still human”.

Danny shrugs, “it’s like you said before I came in -yes I heard that- I’m ghost enough to ghosts. ‘One of them’”. Maddie nods acceptingly, though she doubts someone who would defy time would care about something like species.

Jack immediately drags Danny off to the living room as soon as his wife looks satisfied, because he knows she won’t put in the cookies until he leaves. Gotta love a tricky lady. Though a third the joy in baked cookies was how damn good she looked in her frilly apron.

Danny elects to just float around lazily a bit, it was still kinda surreal floating around his parents. His dad chuckling, “it’s like you were born with It”.

Danny stilling and shrugging, “well, uh, thinking of it, ClockWork might have something to do with that. All they’ve got is tail”.

Jack chuckles and nods a little, made sense. What with the bond influence thing. Which, yeah, still not that cool with but Danny seem cool with it; so he’s kinda cool with it too. ClockWork did seem nice! For a ghost at least. Mads would take a bit more, but Danny-boy’s not a little kid so surely he understands! Though thinking of her and that, this whole ClockWork situation wasn’t all she was fretting over... “so Danny?”.

Danny pauses in the air, “why do I feel like this is more heavy stuff?”.

Jack gives an apologetic shrug, “sorry?”, Danny just waves him off so he asks away, “so Maddie had been wondering to me about more than ClockWork”.

Danny makes a point to not seem nervous, “oh?”.

Jack nods, “yeah. She was thinking that maybe you had an Obsession. You know, like a ghostly one. She wasn't sure ‘bout asking, if you’d be cool with that. Since we’ve always talked about those being unpleasant”, chuckling and rubbing his neck, “not that there’s anything wrong with that!”, moving to sit down on the couch, “though they don’t exactly seem positive. But! I’m sure you could make things work for you! Right?”, rubbing his neck again, “Dan thinks they’re like a hobby! So maybe you like it- or would like it! If you had or have one that is”, giving another weak chuckle, “though we’ve always thought of them as controlling and inclined towards bad behaviours. Violent”, waving his hands pacifyingly, “not that you’re ever violent or bad!”, muttering to the side, “other than ditching class and shirking chores anyway”, looking back to Danny, “so if you do or did, then it totally can’t be violent, so we must be at least somewhat wrong about that! We’re definitely learning a lot from you”, waving his hands again, “not that that’s why we ask or want to know!”.

Danny interrupts, floating to sit down himself. It was weird when his dad was the one needing comforting, he didn’t like it, “dad, you’re rambling, I know”, shrugging, “sure you’re curious for curiosities sake, and it being ghost-related of course. But I know it’s more because you want to know me, that I'm your son. Family”. Jack just nods and rubs his neck awkwardly, so Danny continues after adjusting a little; trying to not be weird about this, and running his hands over part of his tail, “as for the, er, Obsession, thing-”.

Jack pats him on the back gently and cuts in, “you don’t have to tell me, tell us, if you’d rather not”. He hopes his boy doesn’t take the out though, he’s curious! And they didn’t fully understand Obsessions beyond them being called ‘Obsession’ for a reason, was related to their death, and largely what kept them around; blocked them from moving on. What ghosts Obsessed about was important them, so if Danny had one then it’s got to be important to him! And he definitely wants to know the things important to his boy! But Danny was clearly a bit defensive of all these things he’s been hiding, the ghostly things and definitely ClockWork; boy could be scary if he wanted to be! And also the Core, he has a feeling Danny didn’t just recently find out about that. And Obsessions could, and have been, used to a hunters' advantage. To trap or discourage or harm. he’s never even heard of a ghost being open about their Obsession! Even if it was obvious! Like with that Box Ghost. And ClockWork’s was probably time-related; or just was time as a whole! So it would totally make sense for him to what to hide his, if he has one.

Danny blinks, well honesty has worked for him with all this so far. But he never would have willing outed his Core to them. Parents or not, they were still ghost hunters. And even if they weren't, well Lewis only knew because he saw It. And Lewis had caught him off guard when he told him about his Obsession and was being kinda like him. Asking what he had to for someone else’s health and safety. Oh, and the drugs; that was definitely a factor. Now his folks? The only reason they had was curiosity and maybe some misplaced worry/fear over the idea of him having one. And his Obsession was absolutely one that could be taken advantage of. Lewis and his ‘it would be helpful’ shit made that painfully obvious. And him giving him an Obsessive Crisis, while an accident, had still been partly caused by Lewis knowing. So no, not happening. And his dad would just ask questions on top of questions, likely becoming completely oblivious to sensitivity. That was kinda his dad’s thing. And his mom, well she would wonder how he satisfied it; and that would lead to the big Phantom secret.

Danny rubs his neck, glancing at his tail swishing around and vibrating a bit, “I mean? Don’t worry about it?”.

Jack nods a little, that was as good as a ‘yes’. To both an Obsession and to not wanting to talk about it. He has no idea if this is cool or not. He should probably confirm though? No assuming. “So... yes?”, and making a point to give him a sheepish look over the tail giving a little snapping thrash; he had noticed Danny’s tail seemed to give away his emotions a little. Which actually did support the possibility that ghosts were actually more emotionally sensitive.

Danny looks around awkwardly and nods a little, “um, yeah. Do you, like, need to know the, er, ‘what’ though?”, and staring at his dad a bit challengingly. As if daring him to make up some bullshit reason. If his dad, the much more curious and knowledge-hungry one, can let this go then he guesses he can trust them a bit more. Can much more genuinely believe they care more about family, about him, than ghost hunting. He already knew they loved him more than they hated ghosts, them accepting his ghostly crap was proof enough of that. And they hadn’t, like, banned him from seeing ClockWork. Not that that would be possible.

Jack’s pretty sure some might find his sons staring a bit ‘creepy’ but he’s seen it a few times, usually aimed at his friends though... and Vladdie. Who, come to think of it, was pretty good at the unnerving stare himself! As for his boy's question? He definitely wants to know! but no way he needed to. Mads would probably worry it would make him misbehave or something, but Danny-boy said not to worry and he’s gonna trust his boy! “Naw. If you don’t want to then you don’t want to. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with that!”, chuckling and smiling, Danny exhaling and smiling back after a bit. While Jack continues, “so long as it’s not making you sick or unhappy, anyway. And I’d be totally down with helping you with it! or maybe you need help figuring something out with it! Or even just wanna talk about it! I’m sure your mom would be cool with that too!”.

Danny cringes a little, “uh, sorry but no. I’d really rather not. It’s, uh, personal. Private I guess”, shrugging a little stiffly, “kinda like how I, uh, don’t want my Core being poked at”, clearing his throat, “but it’s fine. I’m fine. I keep it satisfied and in check. And it’s not something bad or anything”, shrugging and tacking on, “most generally aren’t”, partly to get away from his Obsession specifically.

Jack blinks and mutters to himself, “so Dan was right...”, making Danny cringe again as Jack shakes his head and speaks up again but at Danny, “good then. Well my offer still stands, always will!”.

Danny nods, “um, thanks”, and gives his tail a little, hopefully subtle, pat to encourage It to chill out. He’s gonna have to ask ClockWork for tail tips.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Tucker nudges Maddie, “when it comes to CW, take Danny’s warning and just don’t question their motives towards him. You know better now so he’ll be less... nice next time”.

Maddie blinks, stilling her mixing, “should I be worried?”.

(Lewis is firmly staying out of this)

Tucker chuckles and rolls his eyes, “nope, it’s a bond thing”, shaking his head, “and ClockWork saved all of us, so questioning their motive is like questioning whether all of us deserve to live to him”.

Maddie whispers, “oh”, okay that was pretty serious. She knows how protective Danny can be, especially of friends and family, so Danny’s extreme reaction made much more sense now.

Tucker nods, washing out a bowl while Lewis spoons the cookies. Maddie sits against the table as Tucker continues, “yup. And ClockWork is just as defensive of Danny”, snickering, “did you know the government of the Zone put out a hit on him once”.

Maddie chokes, whisper yelling, “what???”. Lewis just steps to the side slightly, Danny’s friends are as addicted to chaos as Danny is; he’d like to not be in the splash zone currently, the peanut gallery’s pretty appealing though.

Tucker nods, “yup. ClockWork pretty much told them to get lost. And nobody says no to ClockWork”, tilting his head, “except Danny”.

Maddie shakes her head in utter disbelief, “they're that respected or powerful?”.

Tucker shakes his head and purses his lips a little, nodding at Lewis, “it’s not just simple little humans that look at them and think ‘god’, ClockWork’s the stuff of myths and legends to the spookies”, adding purely to cover his own ass, “according to Danny anyway”.

Maddie nods, that was a bit out there. Ghosts had their own myths? That also meant culture. Were ghosts actually... highly complex and sophisticated? shaking her head a little, she would have brushed this off days ago, and puts the cookies in the oven. Frowning slightly at overhearing Jack, was he asking Danny about Obsessions? She advised him against that! Apparently, Tucker thought the same. Him sounding slightly worried, “oh, uh, wonder if I should jump in? Obsession’s kinda touchy”.

Maddie blinks, looking to Tucker, wait what? “So he... he has that”.

Tucker makes a cringe showing all his teeth and even scrunching up his neck, “I’m guessing you didn’t know that”. Making Maddie sigh.

Lewis shakes his head and chuckles, again amazed Danny has held on to any of his secrets when none of them could even keep track of what they were lying about and what they weren’t; combined with talking about shit out loud.

Maddie checks the cookies, “well I’m glad you’re close and protective of each other. Though I wish we had been told about all of this”. Tucker elects not to respond to that.

A bit later Jack and Danny turn their heads at Maddie calling that the cookies are ready. Jack promptly jumping up and dashing to the doorway; eager for brownie and cookie alike. Looking back to Danny from the entryway, “you coming?”.

Danny smiles, “yeah. Yeah I am dad”, and flicking his tail before floating over.

Tucker effectively shovels food in his mouth, looks excited and excitedly smacks Lewis arms, “fugh mun”. Then finger-gunning at Danny, “weh, I shoe gwe giong”. Making Danny laugh and finger-gun back, “you just wanted me for my food. What? Do I only have half enough physical appeal for you?”.

“Yo oh ur zezz”. Danny just wheezes at Tucker’s wink.

Lewis walks up behind him, another coffee in hand, “did he just call you sexy?”.

Danny rolls his eyes and takes the second cup from him, “Lewis, doc man, Tucker thinks everyone’s sexy. All the time. Dead. Alive. Furry. Don't matter. Everybody’s sexy af”.

Lewis quirks an eyebrow, “furry?”.

“His sona’s an otter”.

“Well alright then, all the power to him”, and lifts his cup in a little salute.

Danny scowls slightly and points at him, “no matter how chill you are, I will always remember breaking your mind via duplication”. Lewis shakes his head with a little smile.

Jack walks up and ruffles his hair, “so Danny-boy? What should we call the ClockWork fellow? ‘Cause no offence, but ‘parent’ is taken”.

Danny chuckles slightly, “uh, dad? Guardian is the actual proper term”.

Lewis points up at him, seeing as he was floating slightly above their heads, “but ‘guardian’ is synonymous with ‘parent’ for us human beings”.

Jack chuckles, “so something else for the ghost guardian of our kid's ghostliness”. Making Danny tilt his head, “uh, I’m not even sure there is a word for that. But maybe... godparent? Sure you didn’t choose them, but?”.

Lewis snorts, “of course that’s the term you’d go with for a technical god who’s also technically a parent”.

Jack laughs, “true!”, patting Danny, “and they -like Vladdie!- aren’t actually related to you! so it would make sense!”.

Danny rubs his neck and floats slightly lower down, “uh”, and looking around awkwardly.

Lewis raises his eyebrows, a bit genuinely surprised because how???? “Oh really?”.

This gets Maddie over, “did I hear that right? Are you saying you are related? To a ghost that was never alive?”.

Danny gives an awkward shrug, “bond thing. I’ve got a little bit of them. They've got a little bit of me”.

Maddie and Jack exchange a major Look over that before looking back at him. Jack grins wide and smacking a fist into his hand, “well that settles it, that ghosts a Fenton”, tilting his head, “which is not something I thought I’d ever say”.

Danny’s grin is practically beaming, “well I’m happy to hear it”.

Maddie just grins and passes around the cookies.

It doesn’t take long before the parents' minds are firmly back on the ‘make Danny legs goddamnit’ train. Maddie eyeballs his swishing tail as Lewis has him doing (unnecessary)laps and what can really only be described as tricks. Maddie walks over, following her son with he eyes; it was almost weird how normal him floating around felt now, “so, up for installing the clock timer?”.

Danny pauses and shrugs, still a little too awkward about this to just float upside down and chat or something, “I mean? Sure?”. All three of them watching Jack practically launch himself at the lab door.

Maddie and Lewis watching Danny’s eyes widen a little, before he zips towards the door; absolutely beating Jack down.

The three adults getting down to the sight of Danny flipping over and inspecting the little device; Maddie’s not even going to bother wondering how he got that out of containment.

Danny absolutely knows there were little sparkles of green flecks in his eyes as he checks the trinket over, running over the curves and edges. Eventually lifting up his head and pursing his entire face as he hits a tiny trigger and the devices shoots out confetti everywhere.

Jack almost immediately begins laughing, “oh wow! They’re a jokester!”. Like Danny!

Maddie walks up and shakes her head at the mess, “well that was rather funny though messy”.

Danny chuckles, “well if you had tried to install this before I accidentally set off the little prank then the confetti would have probably fried things. So joke, but also test slash failsafe”.

Jack tilts his head, “but they see the future right? They already know our actions before we take them”.

Danny shakes his head, “no. They just see all the possible futures. Sure they can tell what’s most likely but that doesn’t mean much”, smirking, “and even they say I’m notorious for taking the less likely paths. They, uh, actually make bets on that”.

Lewis blinks, “you mean people bet against the guy that sees all the future?”, shaking his head, “how stupid do you have to be”.

Danny shrugs, “more like egotistical, they usually bet against other future seers, ClockWork’s got a better view than them though. So...”. Lewis shakes his head more.

Jack runs over snatching up the fully repaired CyberSteps, while Maddie holds her hand out to Danny. Danny glances from the (apparently dubbed)clock timer to Maddie, “okay. Just... careful”.

Maddie nods and takes it from him gingerly, “we will be, don’t worry”. Lewis walks over to look over her shoulder at the device before she takes it over to one of the tables to examine; leaving Lewis standing next to Danny.

Lewis watches the parents for a bit before looking to Danny, who of course is practically staring at them. Lewis knows they’re far enough away from the hunter couple to go unheard; even with sound travelling a lot down here. “So obviously I know ClockWork is immortal, but I remember you implying you were practically immortal yourself. Neigh indestructible, I believe”.

Danny glances to the guy, giving him ‘seriously?’ eyebrows, before looking back to his parents. Speaking quietly, “geez doc”, shaking his head a little, “ghosts are super hard to destroy in general. Halfas are just even harder”.

Lewis nods, “so Vlad too then".

Danny snorts, "he's weaker than me”.

“Yeah I think that’s obvious”, Danny was obviously stupid strong. This gets Danny to curl up a bit and laugh. While Lewis continues, “speaking of that one, just how dangerous is he?”, considering he might just have pissed him off. Lewis could do without more ghostly drop-ins.

Danny digs out his phone from his brace and flips through his photos while speaking, “he’s a nine. Lots of reasons for the lower level. Made by weaker and less ecto; contaminated ecto too. My age is a factor too and being exposed to ecto for, like, my whole life”. Glancing at him, “his real danger is he’s stupid smart and has enough cash to go nuts with”, chuckling, “like the cloning thing. That’s one way to get a kid at fourteen though”.

Lewis raises his eyebrows at that, again this kid’s life was ridiculous, “not sure that counts as ‘kid’”.

Danny smirks, “Vlad fucked up. We’re not identical, just closely genetically related”, chuckling, “she’s a little three-foot-tall twelve-year-old travelling nomad. In London right now I think”, tilts his head and shrugs.

Lewis shakes his head with a sigh, “congrats, just like Eddie you have a kid without getting anyone pregnant”., shrugging, “though Eddie’s is technically in the works”.

Danny laughs, “least Elle’s not natural”, holding his phone out to the guy, “here’s a pic of her kicking Vlad in the face”.

Lewis leans over, huh, someone would have to be blind to not notice the family resemblance. White hair, green eyes, black and white jumpsuit, DP symbol, stupid cheeky grin; a Phantom through and through. The other guy though, looks like a knockoff bramstrocker; the vampire jokes officially make sense. “Well alright, cute kid; I can practically smell trouble maker on her”, tapping his nail on the screen, “why’s Vlad look so different though?”.

Danny shrugs, “adult thing or something. Spookies change their appearance sometimes”.

Jack actually comments on that, “we’re honestly not sure at this point if they do that for aesthetic or it just happens because they got stronger!”. Maddie coming over as well, clock timer in hand. Danny’s more than a little pleased that it doesn’t look like they took it apart at all. Good.

Maddie holds it up, “I think I’m willing to trust this and it’s definitely compatible”, looking to Danny, “it’ll only work around the waist though and won’t function as a conductor”.

Jack nods and gestures with his hands a little wildly, “so we’ll just rip out the timer stuff from our conductor! And leave the conductor where it is!”, nodding curtly with a grin before pausing, “if that’s cool with you, of course”.

Danny smiles, “that’s fine, apparently I’m flexible enough to reach”, stretching to make a point, “even with the braces”.

Lewis grumbles, “just don’t break them”. Danny has cost the hospital a lot of money at this point. Sure medicine wise and room wise he saved them money, but all the braces, having to recast his arm, the extremely expensive wheelchair that he can’t believe Mrs. Levi actually signed off on (sure all he had to do was show the insanely high and unusual injures Amity Parker’s tended to get -especially minors- and she gave her approval immediately), the patient file bug Tucker made that the tech guy said he’d have nightmares over, and the fact that they got investigated by a very shady section of the government (that not-rain stuff almost forced the entire hospital into quarantine).

Jack beams and rushes off to the CyberSteps, dragging Maddie along with. Danny’s pretty sure the legs look more defined, more finished, than when he last saw them; or this was just a finished version since basically everything but the timer conductor was likely as perfect as it could be.

Danny makes damn sure his folks are preoccupied with the legs before looking back to Lewis, snatching his phone away since the guy started flipping through his photos, “seriously doc? Rude”.

Lewis just shrugs, “you’re the one who gave me your phone. Besides, you’re interesting and I’m curious. Nice castle. Doesn’t seem your style though”.

Danny huffs and rolls his eyes, “excuse me for thinking you, a doctor married to a lawyer, had some manners”, crossing his arms and muttering down at them, “sure I would’ve done the same but still”, looking back to Lewis, “and I didn't design that, Pariah did. I’ll change it when I take the throne”, shrugging, “it’s an automatic thing. Lairs are weird like that. Ecto-construct and all that”.

Lewis nods, yeah lairs bent to the need, personality, and somewhat the will of its ghost; if he’s remembering that correctly. Smirking a little, “let me guess, it’ll reholposter itself black n’ white?”.

Danny smirks right back, “what can I say? I know my colours and I wear them proud. The white of life and the black of death”.

Lewis shakes his head and leans against the wall, “speaking of castles and thrones, still can’t say I understand how a crown and ring could make someone able to absorb and feed an entire dimension. And if you’re the sorta will of Zone then could you modify it like a lair? And what about the Zone needing a king eventually? Is that a sooner or later kind of thing?”, tilting his head, “and with that, if you got destroyed would the universe eventually just die?”.

Danny gives him a truly pained look, “you wrote this shit down, didn't you”, scowling at the doctor's small nod. Danny side-eyes his parents to make sure they’re still absorbed in their work, before answering, “alright, it works like this: the ring has a negative glow so it can pass as a regular ring, because it -unlike other ecto things- strictly absorbs ectoplasm instead of shedding ectoplasm. While the crown is the opposite, it only sheds and doesn’t absorb; hence why it practically blazes off ectoplasm. The ring absorbs the Zone’s ectoplasm, the Crown sheds off the wears ectoplasm plus whatever they absorbed in from the Zone. Kinda like the wearers a heart and the ring and crown are valves”.

Lewis smirks approvingly, “that’s a very doctorly comparison of you”.

Danny snorts, “it works and you’re a doctor. Anyway. Yeah having that much energy following through a little tiny body’s a lot but-”, shrugging, “-like I’ve said, I’m used to dealing with things that are a lot. And my consciousness, sorta, would be carried though all that ecto. So I’d pretty much have an awareness of the whole Zone and every ghost. Which yes, means I could modify it like a lair. Not quite the same though. The Zone would be part of me yeah, part of my ectoplasm and what my folks seemed to have called my ecto-circulatory system; but the Zone wouldn’t be my lair, just an extension of my being. And I can’t just modify my body willy nilly”, tilting his head, “well it’s base state anyway”. Danny forms an eye on his hair to wink at the guy just for emphasis.

Lewis quirks an eyebrow, at least he was pretty immune to body horror shit, “so you’re effectively a battery, heart, and food for the Zone, but also are -will be- literally the Zone. You’re gonna be a dimension”.

Danny actually laughs a little into his hand at that, giving Lewis a little shoulder pat with his tail, “that’s a great way to put it!”, shaking his head with a smile, “yeah I’ve got a crazy future existence. And for that one question, it’s a long time in the future. The Zone’s probably good to run off the stockpile of Pariah for a few hundred more years. Well, unless something happens anyway”. Which, with his luck, was probable. Heck, he’s pretty sure Sam and Tucker have a bet going on whether or not it’ll happen before or after they graduate, before or after his parents eventually... pass away, or before or after they do. Shaking his head and firmly pushing away thoughts of anyone dying, “and no man, currently my destruction won’t end the universe. The Zone will latch on to someone else... eventually. Now if I was king, that would be an issue since the Zone would decay right”, chuckling, “though in that case the throne would just be passed down to Elle”.

Lewis blinks, “oh, so it’s tied to your lineage? Instead of exclusive to you”.

“Yup, the typical royalty shtick”, tapping his chin, “though I think Sam and Tuck are classed as my brethren so they might kinda have a level of claim too. Dora, FrostBite, and Pandora are sorta family too. But they’re all complicated. And course, if I married then whoever would have their own claim”, and shrugs, “I wouldn’t put it past Vlad to try and wiggle his way in too”.

Lewis sighs, “nothing is ever simple with you is it? And you have more ghost family? Really?”.

Danny shrugs awkwardly at that, “kinda? It’s weird man and not to the level of Clocky. Not even close”, grinning a little, “Dora sees me as the good protective older brother she never got to have. Pandora sees me as like a nephew or sorta godchild, ever since I got her box back. FrostBite’s kinda a mentor in all things icy, kinda worships me as some kind of chosen one, and they’re my doctor too sometimes”.

Lewis blinks at that, “wait, you have a specialised doctor? Then why the Hell don’t you use them”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “of course that’s the part you care about mr. Doctor man. I can handle my own shit and I do go to him for serious shit I can’t just handle myself”. Making Lewis sigh and shake his head, completely unimpressed. The boy had access to medical care and just... didn’t use it. Thinking of the whole setting Danny’s arm after he literally crashed though the car. Or at least he didn’t take advantage of medical care unless it was literally within arms reach.

Maddie picks that moment to bolt over with a grin on her face, grabbing at Danny’s hand; Jack in the background looks to be throwing his fist up in a cheer.

Danny rolls his eyes with a smile and lets her drag him off; Lewis studiously following after. Lewis seriously hoping this time doesn’t result in yet another negative reaction.

Danny looks over the CyberSteps, floating around them quickly. Putting his hands on the waist and peering down, tapping the off-centre clock timer with his tail tip, “looks good”. The very tip coiling around one of the clock hands a little, he likes it; it kinda felt like ClockWork. Pointedly ignoring Lewis’s slight chuckle. Jerk.

Maddie and Jack both watch tensely but ridiculously excited all the while, as Danny grips the waist and slips his tail in, hopefully having to test out the ‘legs’ for the last time.

Danny glances over his shoulder brace as he activates the neuroreceptor strip, watching it all snap on over the back brace; which Lewis is probably still unimpressed about. Then tilting his head, the draining felt practically the same as before; and it didn’t seem to be making his ecto freak. So that’s a check on the conductor. Looking down at the legs and quirking an eyebrow at the little clock timers clock hands spinning around. His mom obviously noticing, “I’m pretty sure that’s what it does when it’s calibrating, sweetie”. Which Danny nods at and decides to wait, going to try moving the legs once the clock hands chill out. And the toes/boot tips successfully bend upwards.

And with that, one Danny Fenton was no longer legless on main

FIN.

JK JK JK

Lewis watches as Danny wiggles the toes and bounces up on said toes some, before actually taking a few steps around. The movements were definitely a little jerky and he wasn’t moving them quite right, it was very much like he was trying out limbs he hadn’t had before. If Lewis were to guess, he’d say that’s likely because these robotic leg prosthetics didn’t work exactly the same as natural legs; so logically he’d have to learn how to pilot them properly. Watching Jack and Maddie stand in-front of him and all three pretty well beaming at each other; Jack even doing a little jig or something (whatever it is, Danny clearly finds it embarrassing). It was obvious Danny was proud of what his folks made, even if he didn’t honestly need it. Frankly he’s pretty sure Danny’s proud of the things his parents make in general, he just hadn’t liked the anti-ghost foundation they were built upon. Sure seemed they had gotten better about that though. Which is good, since the universe -somewhat technically- depended on that.

Lewis nods once and walks closer -having given the family their little moment- and pats Danny’s arm brace, “well looks like you can walk upon this earth again. Though maybe practice”, pausing for a beat before adding, “no kicking people”.

Danny blinks at Lewis, “no kidding doc. Literal steel toes here”.

Lewis chuckles and gives his two (adult)friends pats, “congrats, you just made a breakthrough in probably a lot of fields, but most relevant to me, medical science. You’re officially scary smart. But-”, turning to Danny because the kid’s supposed to be injured and recovering. Gesturing at the neuroreceptor strip, “you. While this is great and all, you had back surgery. So I’m restricting use till your braces are good to come off and I check your spine out”. Honestly, he should outright ban it.

Danny sticks his hands to the side and pouts a little, “oh come on doc”.

Lewis crosses his arms, “most doctors wouldn’t have even let you test them or wear them at all”. Danny rubs his neck at that.

Maddie gives Lewis a sweet smile, “well thanks for letting us do this and I think we all understand”, looking to Danny, “right Danny?”. Danny grumbles incoherently but nods.

Jack taps at his chin, watching Danny walk around a bit more, “what I don’t get, is how you moved the ones that didn’t work at all smoothly but these ones are being a bit jerky or over-exaggerated? Even if you originally weren’t working them even close to smooth with the tail”.

Danny shrugs, “uh, well I’ve never had brain to mechanics connections like this before. My brain and ecto might just, like I don’t know, learn how these interpret stuff?”.

Lewis nods immediately because that was actually true really for learning how to work any prosthetic, “there’s a learning curve with any prosthetic, they never move the exact same as the originals”, tilting his head, “and if what you’re thinking of Danny’s ghost being somewhat active is right, then the tail wouldn’t be truly new; simply normally inaccessible. Which you’ve effectively already implied to be the case to explain his ease of adapting. So his fine motor skills with his tail should be quite good, which would allow for it to take very little time for him to figure out how to grasp or say, move things, with said tail”, and nods curtly to himself. Pretty content with his explanation.

Danny decidedly says nothing though Lewis just gave him a pretty damn good out. His parents' nods and smiles make that obvious.

Jack goes wide-eyed, coming upon an idea and blurting out, “ClockWork!”, then looking at his slightly confused looking son, “you said that ClockWork only has a tail! And that you’re basically related! Ghostly related!”. Everyone gives him slightly confused eyebrow quirks, so he explains himself, “so maybe your ghost took after them and just has a tail too!”.

Maddie blinks and grins, “that does make sense”, ruffling Danny’s hair, “so that explains that“. Danny just shrugs, ‘cause in their mind, there’s no way he should know what his ghost looks like. But also, yeah, him being so comfortable and good with this was totally ClockWork’s fault. And he totally loves them for it. Intentionally swishing his tail around in the legs, kinda weird that he could move his tail without moving his legs. How in the heck is his brain -or ectoplasm maybe, Core?- differentiating between tail and legs? He’s totally going to fidget with his tail during class. No one will ever know! “Well still too bad my walking skills have gotten a bit rusty”.

Lewis glances at his watch, pretty late; it would probably be the ‘responsible’ thing to encourage a normal -or as normal as possible for a teenage superhero whose enemies seem to prefer the night- sleep schedule.  “Alright, I know you probably want to celebrate all this but at the very least Danny should reestablish a proper sleep schedule. Sleep is vital for healing and health after all”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “all doctor, all the time, huh?”.

“Says mr. Helpful”. Danny scowls at that, because not the same. Not the fucking same. Though if the doc became a ghost his Obsession would probably be the same but maybe more curious ‘I wonder what will happen if’.

Danny looks around, “well first, can’t we at least have supper?”. Jack’s stomach growls as if being summoned, making everyone laugh.

While Maddie gets to work making food, Jack and Lewis basically talk each other’s ears off with how the legs even worked at all; ‘cause Lewis is just stunned but intrigued and Jack is utterly excited. Danny sneaks up the stairs, totally unused to how damn loud these feet were; he’s gonna have to work on that because he loves how easily he can even accidentally sneak up silently on people.

Danny stops in front of Jazz’s door and promptly kicks it in; the door simply opening loudly instead of being blown off its hinges purely because all the doors in the house were built to handle getting rammed and blasted.

“Zone! Danny! Why in the Zone are you kicking in doors!”. Jazz pauses, “wait, you kicked it in”, looking to his legs and leaping up, “holy shit Danny! You’ve got legs!”, rushing over and pinching the CyberSteps, “can you actually feel this?!?!”.

Danny grins stupidly, puts his hands on his hips, and poses ridiculously, “yup, totally can”, tilting his head, “not quite the same though”.

Jazz practically jumps on him and hugs him around the neck, “oh who cares! This is great Danny!”, letting go and brushing off his braces, “I bet mom and dad were just stoked”.

Danny nods almost sheepishly, “oh definitely”, cringing a little, “dad did a jig”, making her cringe as he continues, “Lewis also crushed their spirits a little by limiting my leg time. Though we are still baking eggies to celebrate my leggies”, and grins.

Jazz sighs with a head shake, “I was wondering if they forgot about supper again”.

“Oh they did”.

Jazz blinks, “of course they did”.

Lewis walks in, arms crossed and judgmental eyebrow raised, “there you are. You do realise I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on the kid who broke basically everything, should have died, is in braces and bandages, and is now trying out brand new experimental prosthetics that interact with his brain and the spine he broke”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “geez tell me what you really mean”.

Jazz pokes Danny, “he does have a point you know. You are supposed to be injured”. Danny scowls at her but rounds on Lewis, sticking his arms out to the side, “so when can I obliterate these things”.

“Never. They’re hospital property. Casts can’t be reused, braces can”.

Jazz immediately cringes at that, Danny’s the one to speak though, “you don’t want to do that. I bet you ten bucks these are all ecto-contaminated. And I doubt you want them coming to life, or death really, and trying to eat someone’s arm or something”.

Lewis blinks, “alright, you can destroy them”, that would be a lawsuit waiting to happen. A very strange lawsuit. ‘My arm brace came to life and ate my firstborn’, would certainly be a new one.

Danny grins wickedly and promptly bursts into blue flames, actually managing to make Lewis jump back and Jazz yelp.

Lewis watches the ashes of the braces flutter to the ground, before giving (the no longer on fire)Danny an exasperated look, “I didn’t mean now”, squinting, “and how did you not burn the CyberSteps?”.

Danny creates a flame over his fingers, “ecto-fire”, pointing the other hand at the CyberSteps, “anti-ecto”, then adding, “only a little though, otherwise it would be anti-me”.

Lewis shakes his head, “can’t have that now can we?”. Danny grins and points out the door, promptly walking off at Lewis saying, “so long as an adult who knows your ecto or tech is around you”.

Lewis looks to Jazz, “he certainly seems better for his ghostliness, doesn’t he”.

Jazz smiles soft and sweet, “I used to worry about him, even got the vice principal to force him to see a therapist. But once I found out, it made sense and I knew he was okay. That not only was he good mentally, or as good as he could be, but also just good as a person”, giggling a little, “now of course I still worry, that’s what sisters do after all. But he’s a day at a time mentally, there isn’t exactly a standard for a halfa, for being mentally two species that are really opposites; and Vlad’s not exactly a good example. He needs a therapist more than Danny does”.

Lewis chuckles at that and nods, “can’t say I disagree. Though I wouldn't say Danny particularly comes off as someone who needs therapy, he hides his traumas well. Which, well, hiding things from a therapist equals not getting effective therapy”.

Jazz gives him a smile that practically reads ‘you misunderstand’, “that’s because he’s at the stage of acceptance now”, Lewis quirks an eyebrow so she explains, “people grieve when someone dies, and I believe the dead grieve their death just as much if not more”, nodding a little to herself, “at first he tried to convince himself nothing had changed, the abilities would just wear off; he even went through an ‘I’m not dead!’ phase, that came later though”.

Lewis tips his head, “well to be fair, most people don’t expect to be dead but still walking around, and half-dead just sounds impossible. So thinking he’s not dead seems more like being logical than being in denial”.

Jass gives him an almost pitying look, “yeah but he was apparently pretty desperate and freaked about it. Less simple logic and having an issue with the impossible, more desperation to deny what they know is true”.

Lewis nods, ah okay Danny definitely had a harder time than he had thought. He’s kinda glad he didn’t meet Danny back then because again, he’s not good at dealing with freaking out breaking down emotional types.

Jazz nods and keeps going, “Sam and Tucker said they effectively had to convince him not to just tell his parents and beg them to fix him once he realised things weren’t going away. He hated the powers, the changes; that’s the point when I noticed something was up, that he seemed depressed. I pushed for the therapy when he started being just angry, all the time”.

Lewis nods, “ah, I guess that does sound like grieving. In that case, I’m glad he’s in the acceptance stage”.

Jazz grins, she certainly was, “same. His Obsession, his friends -especially the ghost ones-, the weird love/hate thing the town has for him; I think all that helped. Which is how I imagine it is typically for most ghosts; minus the last one”, pointing at him, “though I think you've helped with acceptance, he seems less affected by your name, and those blue flames he used there?”, grinning wider, “many times he’s refused to ever use that, so somethings happened there”.

Lewis blinks, ah the pyrokinesis was probably a power ‘Dan’ had and used liberally. “I may have effectively reasoned with his Obsession why he shouldn’t fear certain futures and that it would make him a shittier king. Used ClockWork too, or more so a quote Danny made of them”.

Jazz raises her eyebrows, “you must think pretty differently for that to have worked out”, frowning slightly, “I’d watch it, taking advantage of his Obsession too often will start coming off as malicious to the Obsession”.

Lewis shrugs, yeah he kinda figured that one. Like tempting Vee with chocolate. Eventually you’ll lose a few fingers. Literally. “I’m not one for social queues, living or dead ones. And he’d make a good surgeon, very helpful. And telling me things is helpful. And sure, I may have given him an Obsessive Crisis but my reasoning was sound”.

Jazz blinks, walks over, and smacks him over the head, ���how has Danny not assaulted you yet?!?”.

Lewis takes it in stride, he had been smacked a great many times for insensitivity, and smirks, “might be that my whole career is helpful, I’m a helper all the same. Protecting people from the outcomes of their stupidity like shoving a cheese grater up their ass or eating nails”.

Jazz goes a little wide-eyed, “that actually makes sense. Obsession similarity is a major comradery thing for ghosts”, pausing, “also, is that really a common thing people do? Though the nails probably had something to do with pica”.

“We keep a white board of all the things people have shoved up their asses, one guy’s made it on the board multiple times; I admire the tenacity”, Lewis smirks as she gives him a strange look and just moves to head downstairs.

They come down to a slightly concerned-looking Danny sitting backwards on the couch but resting his chin over the back of the couch, watching his parents. Looking to Lewis when he notices them and making ‘psst’ noises at him; which makes Lewis wonder if he’s being hissed at for a bit, which considering the upstairs conversation would make some sense.

Jazz heads into the kitchen while Lewis walks over to Danny.

Danny scuttles over and hiss whispers, “so I wasn’t sure if me actually being braceless was, like, a good thing? ‘Cause, like, maybe you know otherwise and I, like an idiot, didn’t confirm things-”.

Lewis chooses to cut off what’s definitely going to be a ramble, “it’s fine, Danny. Honesty, I was considering removing them entirely pretty soon here. You’re fine”.

Danny grins and gives a little relieved sigh, before looking slightly freaked again and gesturing to his chest, his bare heavily scared toned chest, “also totally forgot about the bandaging. I mean what am I, a wire stripper?”.

Lewis is pretty sure most people would find how he goes from flesh straight to metal more eye-catching than the scarring; even if it was pretty major. Danny’s likely more worried about Jack and Maddie seeing though. And well, Danny being completely healed was very obvious this way. Which might be pushing it, “yeah, you look too healthy like this”.

Danny blinks, “I wasn’t actually thinking of that but point”. Lewis gestures up the stairs, so they head up to Danny’s (still uncleaned)room to redo bandaging.

Lewis shakes his head while unrolling bandaging, “you’d think you’d be encouraged to clean after your encounter”. Danny rolls his eyes and holds out his arms after disconnecting the CyberSteps. Lewis pauses and taps his chin, thinking of it, “actually, let’s just bandage where you had the most serious damage”.

So Lewis gets to work on the waist wrapping, again noting how strange Danny coming to a totally smooth flat end is. He’s going to have to pin the blame on Danny’s tail if his friends ask, because this is not only not medical standard but medically impossible. Not to mention physically impossible, so many half cut off organs and where the heck are his intestines? His poor digestive system; and that’s ignoring his lower excretory system being basically non-existent. He’d lose his license if he took credit here. Muttering mostly to himself, “how the Hell do you shit”.

Danny blinks before bursting out laughing, “did you seriously just ask that?!?!?”, shaking his head, “doc? Anyone ever tell you you’re weird?”.

Lewis smirks, “all the time”.

Danny smirks himself, “ghosts ‘excrete’ everything via shedding off ectoplasm, so what do you think”, and points at his tail, which is currently waving intangibly through Lewis. Danny, for kicks, makes It shed more noticeably; just to fuck with the guy a little.

Lewis pauses and side-eyes the tail, “is that... sanitary?”. Making Danny fall backwards on the bed cackling. Lewis has so many questions. Does his ectoplasm just burn it up? and it comes off kinda like smoke? Or does his ectoplasm digest it for fuel? Danny did imply he could get by on just ectoplasm (which a human can’t do) or just food (which a ghost can’t do).

Danny puts an arm over his eyes and wheezes, “nothing can survive the ecto, oh man. Haha. Does a better job than bleach”, and wheezes some more.

Lewis nods, moving to Danny’s chest -because honestly, what in there hadn’t been obliterated. Other than the Core and even that was hurt- and unrolling more, “well that’s good then”. Making quick work of the chest and grabbing Danny’s left hand up.

Danny chuckles, “yeah, I crushed, like, everything in that one”.

Lewis starts wrapping very quickly at the sound of an explosion outside and icy mist leaving Danny’s mouth. Ghosts and their timing. Managing to finish before Danny transforms and zips off through his window; leaving Lewis to stand up, put his hands on his hips, and shake his head.

Danny glances around, pretty sure he can smell something really strange that he’s never smelled before but ignores that at promptly spotting Red shooting at Boxy, Danny floats over, “I’m guessing you don’t really need or want my help here?”.

Red opens her visor purely to scowl at him and shoots the Box Ghost without even looking, “fuck off, Phantom”.

“YOUR DISTRACTION WILL BE YOUR DOOM!!!! AND MY BOXY REVENG-”. Getting cut off via a rocket to the mouth and both teens telling him to shut up. Red promptly capturing him and rounding on Danny.

Danny quirks an eyebrow because her just cutting off a Boxy beat down was weird. Red snaps at him, “obviously you've noticed shit’s up with the Fenton’s, so you better be leaving them alone, spook”.

Danny nods a little, “kinda easy to notice when those two are or aren’t out hunting”, continuing at it feeling like she’s squinting at him, “I ain’t pestering them, Red”. It’s true. Phantom wasn’t technically pestering his parents. Fenton was.

Red studies him for a bit before nodding and appears to sigh, “well the sons got a ghost tail now, like you guys”, Danny changes his legs to a tail for example, which she points at, “yeah, that. And you’re not too terribly evil and he slammed his face into a wall trying to use the thing”.

Danny gives a mock very offended, “hey”. Before blinking and going slightly wide-eyed at a realisation, “wait, are you asking me to teach him?”, how does he get himself into this kind of shit?

Red huffs, “you're supposed to be this town’s ‘protector’ and dealer with ghost shit, it’s supposedly your job”, then adding with bite and meaning, “unless you don’t actually care about people and just like fighting”, shrugging, “and even you wouldn’t be stupid or reckless enough to mess with the youngest child of ghost hunters”. Any ghost that did mess with Jazz or Danny probably saw Hell from the Fenton’s. And Phantom might be literally the only ghost Danny wouldn’t run away from. Maybe. And wasn’t there that time the house came to life or something and Danny and Phantom both helped with that?

Danny blinks, “yeah, I’m not stupid. Still remember Jack punching -yeah, punching, not shooting- Plasmius to a pulp for screwing with the Fenton family”. That was one of Danny’s favourite memories.

Red blinks, opening her visor again and just leaving it that way, “that really happened? Damn”, she’s never felt genuinely impressed by Jack before.

Danny nods, “yup, and Red? Our bodies, the floating, that shit comes naturally. It’s not taught”.

Red snaps, “but he’s not a ghost, Phantom”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “ghost body part. Same thing. And our bodies ain’t all the same you know”.

Red points at his tail, “well his and yours move similar, so there”.

Danny pointedly doesn’t look sheepish or anything at that, he should just agree -fuck his luck- before she starts pointing out other similarities, “geez fine”, pausing and floating a bit closer, “wait, you haven’t been just asking every ghost you see to play teacher, have you?”, for the love of the Ancients say no.

Red scowls at him and refuses to back up, “I’m not a moron either, Phantom. Just you”, squinting, “why?”.

Danny backs off a little and shrugs, “ghost social thing. It’s a few phrases shy of asking a ghost to adopt someone. Which would be kinda mean”, tilting his head, “if you asked Skulker that, you probably would never see Danny again”, if Danny Fenton was a regular human (with a ghost tail somehow) and couldn’t beat Skulker’s face in, anyways.

Red blinks, “what? You’re not ‘adopting’ him“.

Danny rolls his eyes, “well obviously. What you asked could just be taken that way. But I’m still a child so it don’t matter”.

Red shakes her head, “you ghosts are strange. Don’t adopt Danny, just give him tail tips or something”.

Danny snorts and chuckles, “just the tip?”, and pokes her board with his tail tip quickly before zipping away cackling. Red growls and shoots at him while shouting, “you disgust me!”.

Lewis had eventually wandered down into the kitchen, everyone raising the eyebrows at him, probably over Danny’s absence, “decided to take the chance to check up on Danny’s healing and wrapping. He’s stretching out his new bandaging and taking a break from the prosthetics”, nodding curtly, “the braces aren’t really needed anymore”. Jazz giggles quietly.

Maddie and Jack beam, Jack practically cheering, “awesome!”. Both of them super glad to hear that he genuinely as okay as he keeps insisting he is. His ecto likely being to blame, which is okay.

Just then Danny comes back, sticking his head through the kitchen doorway before pausing, “shit! Forgot my shirt”, and ducks his head before zipping back upstairs. Shouting down at everyone laughing or giggling or snorting, “its been a while since I’ve worn clothes alright! I’ve got hardware and software, but no underwear!”.

Lewis actually laughs at that, “pretty sure that’s one thing you don’t need!”, and speaks up again as Danny renters, “you know, a stripper that crushed both her knees said that to me once”. Making pretty much everyone choke.

Maddie steamrolls right over the adult implications of that and plates the eggs. Lewis raising an eyebrow, “eggs for supper? That’s weird”.

Danny coughs and gives Lewis an ‘I can’t believe you just said that’ look and promptly takes the opening, “that's not weird, your pants are weird”.

Lewis looks down, “they’re just sweat pants”, then pauses, wait that sounded familiar. Looking back up and shaking his head, “you really just quoted a commercial for eggs at me”.

Danny grins like he’s the cat that caught the canary, “you started it, doc”.

Maddie grins, digging into her food. Danny seemed more confident. She’s not sure if Lewis just had that effect on him or if it was because of him not utterly hiding his ghostliness around them anymore and them giving the good ghosts thing a real chance. Which made her think it’s all worth it. Trusting a ghost or too, being more neutral about ghosts, rethinking the science; and getting her son back more genuinely, knowing him better, was a great deal. Even if that meant her and Jack had practically been villains to Phantom and other maybe good ghosts; which was an uncomfortable thought. Because really? if ghosts could be good then Phantom being a hero was practically undeniable. And who shoots at a hero? Villains.

Seeing Danny in a loose long sleeve makes her unable to really feel bad though, he looked genuinely like himself again. His hand being bandaged up was a reminder of his injuries however; and she can see a bit peaking out of his collar. Glancing at his other hand, when had he gotten scars there? Though more importantly, how had she never noticed??? Or did his recent injuries scar over that fast. Both were a little concerning. Though she knows he’ll have scarring, Dan said as much.

Lewis’s phones goes off with a big fat ‘fuck you’ from Eddie for not saving any brownies and a pic of stew which was probably meant to be some kind of ‘well look what I made and you can’t have’. Lewis just sends back ‘who did the cooking? ‘Cause if it’s you Eddie, I think I’m good’ predictably getting swears in return. Lewis decides to take a photo of what he’s eating, answering Danny’s raised eyebrow, “Eddie made stew and is attempting to brag about that”.

“I hope there wasn’t any potatoes or baked beings”.

Jazz smacks him over the head while Lewis scrunches up his eyebrows, because that... that was actually something they would do. Getting a response from Vee reading ‘FRIED BABY BIRD NICE' didn’t help. Lewis shakes his head at Danny, muttering, “don’t give them ideas”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “well then I hope you don’t let Vee near your feet”, Lewis gives him some confused eyebrows so Danny smirks and continues very smugly, “they might want some men toes for their breath afterwards”. Lewis sighs. Jack and Maddie just look confused though.

While Danny finally wakes up the next morning, Maddie watches Lewis start breakfast. Jack is attempting to wake up himself with a cold shower. And Jazz has been up for a while sipping tea and reading in her room.

Danny stretches out a little, telekinetically dragging over the CyberSteps and slipping in; this was basically what he was going to be doing for however long in place of underwear. And fuck it, he’s not gonna bother with pants. Kinda pointless and he’s owning his metal. Might as well. Nabbing up his comfortable sweater, the one that never catches on bandaging. Twisting his upper body back and forth, didn’t seem like it would catch on the neuroreceptors either. Nice.

It was honestly still kinda strange walking again, using metal to do that was just a little bit weirder. Cool as shit too though.

Danny turns to the door at hearing a shout of: “IT’S NOT JUST US! YES!”. So he heads downstairs and thus walks into the sight of Lewis staring in confused curiosity at a pan he’s holding with three screaming grill-cheese sandwiches in it. One sprouts a little hand and tries to grab a fork, Lewis just bats it away like a misbehaving cat’s paw; a dirty look on his face all the while.

Danny walks in and looks down, “uh, congrats doc it’s a girl... I think”.

Lewis quirks an eyebrow, “you can tell?”.

Danny scowls, "no, I was making a fucking joke, doc".

Maddie puts her hands on her hips, "language Danny”. Catching Danny slightly off guard and making him blush, “oh um uh, sorry?”. Maddie just shakes her head.

Sam and Tucker barge in while Lewis lifts up the pan, “obviously this is inedible for us, but you?”. Danny gives him a serious ‘are you fucking me’ look.

Maddie immediately butts in, “why would-”, and cuts herself off, going wide-eyed. Looking to Danny, “actually, could you? Do you... want to try?”.

Jack practically bolts over, having just caught that, “oh that would be so cool! We wouldn’t have to scrap food so often!”.

Sam and Tucker come over grinning meanly at him. Tucker speaking up, “do it coward. Be a man”, Sam kicks him. Sam looks over the pan, unphased by the screaming and weird bubbling, but scowls at the cheese; or what once was cheese, “you already stole the poor cows milk, don’t insults them more by trashing it”.

Danny mutters at the floor, “I feel like I’m being ganged up on here”, though obviously not actually bothered. His mom makes him laugh though when she hands him a glass of ‘help you swallow it down’ milk. Danny takes it and looks to Sam with a smirk, “now I know you reject milk, but hopefully you’re not lack-toes-intolerant”.

The two teens look down at his feet, about to comment that he had those again, Tucker giving a little nod, “huh, no toes”.

Danny just chuckles, wiggles his ‘toes’, “hope you like roboots”, everyone sighs and the grill-cheeses scream a little more, which absolutely grabs Danny’s attention. Turning to the pan, “okay, now you are getting eaten. Feed my cyborgans”.

Sam mutters, “Ancients damnit, Danny”. While Danny grabs one of the sandwiches, smacks one of the other ones that tried to bite him, and cuts off the one he grabbed’s screaming by biting It with fake aggression.

Sam and Tucker both start laughing, while the adults all just kinda watch with bated breaths. Maddie’s pretty sure she can actually see him absorbing ectoplasm through his skin off the -what should they call It?- ecto-sandwich. Was certainly interesting that this was even technically safe for him. His Core would just eat all the ectoplasm before it could even possibly cause issues. And that ecto-immunity Jack considered him to have should mean all his human stuff can handle the ectoplasm; possibly even good for him. Feed his ghostly stuff, which probably only got anything from how contaminated the town and house were. Or maybe his Core could convert human food to ectoplasm, just like how food in general here could become ectoplasmic.

Jack sounds more than a little excited, “so! How’s it taste!?!”.

Danny rolls his eyes, slightly embarrassed, “spicy cream cheese”. Jack looking excitedly giddy just makes Danny genuinely blush, though a bit happy that he made him happy. And he was actually hungry so fuck it, he’s eating his sandwich; that much ecto making his eyes green be damned.

Maddie makes a point to not react to his eyes going green -like they had when his ectoplasm was overcharged she notes- as Danny finishes off the ecto-wich. Lewis laughs and just shoves the pan at him.

Danny grumbles, “anyone else would get burned you know”. Lewis just shrugs with a grin as he moves to make something else, but vegan suitable; which hopefully won’t come to life. Everyone else -except Sam who chooses to lean against the wall- sit around the table. Jack and Maddie making a point to ignore the oddness of Danny woofing down the other two plasumwiches -much better name- straight out of the pan; the cold of his skin contacting the pan making a little bit of steam. Lewis attempts to take a subtle photo but of course Danny notices, giving the most suspicious sounding, “what's up doc?”, Lewis thinks is even possible.

“Eddie will get a kick out of this. Thing’s cropped, curb your paranoia”. Danny’s only response is a huff. The response Lewis gets back from Eddie nearly makes him choke though: Vee’s face sandwiched between bread and Eddie biting it/them; Lewis isn’t going to ask why he’s not wearing a shirt, but is wearing a tacky necklace (and of course his brackets, but he never takes those off). Lewis decides screw it, Danny’s friends knew, were just as weird, and that chat thing Tucker set up was almost disturbingly secure -yet they still used codes like paranoid little fuckers, and they were at least kinda cool with aliens; so he tosses the photo into the group chat, with a password to view though ‘cause why not be paranoid too; though it’s an obvious one.

Tucker, not surprising the doctor in the least, is the first to check and chokes on his food.

PDAXpda: @everyone

PDAxpda: what

PDAxpda: pray tell

PDAxpda: the fuck is that

Tiethief: space monster

Tiethief: and reporter mouth

NightShade: you suck at names

NightShade: @DPain do yer job

Just a little later Danny checks his phone and wigs out. His hair fluffing up a little like some anime bullshit, the legs swinging around probably ‘cause his tail is wiggling or something a bunch, the ecto in his eyes making tiny little sparks; Jack and Maddie watching the reaction more so with awe and curiosity than unnerved worry.

DPain: hdieksnhrjsHHUDJjhhudikwdhjHhdnsjdkoajbdhuejzk

DPain: zhHhudjnshakbusfjkabjhUSJJNhdkakbsjbuijdh

DPain: TINY MURDER COBOOB IS BLOB

DPain: TINY MURDERY ALIEN BLOB

DPain: FUCK ME DADSY

DPain: anyway

DPain: cjsinsbdhaihujsmkfhdkajhdnfcjai

DPain: space mon fine

DPain: othera meat puppet

DPain: djiafdwih

DPain: best blob be nommed

PDAxpda: first look at murder goo

Lewis looks up at the ceiling as he pockets his phone before spooning out the stir fry. Less breakfasty, but more edible. Giving Sam Tucker’s veggies and throwing some real bacon bits into Tucker’s. Danny takes a small plate even though he ate three bloody sandwiches -maybe the ectoplasm went somewhere else and thus didn’t fill him up?- and munches still looking overly excited.

Sam points her fork at Danny’s feet kinda bouncing around. He shrugs and snickers, “looks like I've got a few new roboticks”.

Which makes Jazz groan as she comes in, “ignoring that, what smells so good?”, looking Danny over slightly and quirking any eyebrow over his green sparky eyes.

Sam rolls her eyes, biting a pepper, “your parents’ made ghost food again”.

Maddie immediately sits up straight, “Dan did actually”. Jack practically cheering, “so it’s not just us!”.

Jazz mutters, “that’s not actually comforting”, because that means it’s either the house's fault or the utensils/cookware.

Sam huffs, “more reason not to have animal products”.

Tucker laughs, “more like reason to!”, and jabs a thumb at Danny. Who throws a quiet, “prick”, Tucker’s way.  

Maddie shakes her head a little as the teens poke fun at each other. Yeah they knew and were used to it. Which was... probably good for Danny. Hurt a little to confirm though. She understands though; her and Jack will just have to continue to be better then.

Not too long later, Lewis is putting away leftovers, Jazz and Maddie are on clean-up duty, Danny’s eyes are back to fucking normal, and Jack’s giving the CyberSteps steps a once over.

Tucker nudges Danny, ignoring Jack doing the typical ‘can you feel this?’ thing, “so theatre’s open. Feel like taking your limbs for a test drive?”.

Maddie immediately pauses with her washcloth, making a point to sound stern, “only if Dan okay’s it, sweetie”.

All the teens look to Lewis, who smirks and fakes being unsure, “oh I don’t know”, relenting at the scowls, “so long as he’s not left alone I don’t see a problem with it”. Tucker immediately high fives Danny, before Jack steps back with a smile; letting Danny run only kinda coordinatedly up the stairs to grab pants.

Danny decides fuck it and opts out of shoes; the CyberSteps toes/boots look like, well, boots. Heading back down and the three friends walk to the door. Jack and Maddie smiling to themselves over the fact that Danny can actually walk around town with his friends.

Just as Danny’s reaching for the handle there’s a knock and Danny’s pretty sure he smells smoke... and that weird new smell from yesterday? Shrugging and opening the door to the sight of a guy who looked like hot garbage yet healthyish. His hair looked like a comb would get stuck in it yet smooth. One bloodshot eye, yet they were also totally clear. Clearly unbrushed teeth, though white. In a leather jacket with burn marks, off-white t-shirt, and torn-up jeans. And a cigarette in one had, dirt under literally every fingernail and in the nail-beds.

“Wow someone’s speed lightning”, the dude looks around, “your yard’s kinda not shit so I’mma just put this out in my pocket”, and shoves the cigarette into his pants. Danny watches the pocket smoke and slowly gain a new hole as the guy speaks, “so if it ain’t obvious, name’s Eddie. Eddie Brock”.

Danny blinks, gapes a little -which the guy smirks over, and laughs. Because yeah, this is exactly his luck.

#danny phantom #phandom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #maddie fenton #jack fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #valerie gray #the box ghost #clockwork #dan lewis #crossover #venom #eddie brock #injury recovery #amputation #prosthetic #phan phic #fan fic #my writing #have a fic suck my dick #legless on maim #phantomphangphucker #clockwork being a little shit #ectology #ectobiology #reveal #character growth #family bonding

[veliseraptor]

Top five lines from your writing (ie sentences that made you think “how did I write something this beautiful” or “this conveyed exactly what I was imagining in my head”).

xalskjdaslkdjf oh man. okay both you and @nightwing-hunter asked basically this same question so I’m going to answer it in one and...try not to feel super self conscious about being like OH YEAH THIS IS GOOD WRITING. I did end up with six, so I guess I’m not that self-conscious. (Look, I had two from one fic that I wanted to use! But it’s a very long fic!)

There are a few lines I might’ve chosen from fic as yet unposted, but...I decided to stick with things that other people have actually seen.

Complete with (probably unnecessary) rambling about my thoughts!

1. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

This is like. Kind of my ur-Jiang Cheng quote, I think? Because I really do think that one of Jiang Cheng’s problems (though it’s also one of his strengths!) is how hard he holds onto things. People, and pain, and grudges. He’s so anchored by the ways in which he’s stuck in the past, the ways in which he struggles to move forward, that even as he wants to he continues to end up mired in trauma and hurt. There was another line in this fic I almost used (yes, another one) about how when Jiang Cheng imagines himself happy he thinks himself backwards; that he struggles to imagine happiness forward.

2. All of them, he thought. So interconnected. Tied together by obligation and debt and blood and pain and love. Inseparable. (With Absolute Splendor)

I have gone on record as saying how much I love the mess that is the Jiang-Lan-Jin-Wen blended family as an indirect result of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s relationship, and this is, I feel like, both an apt description of that and also something that feels very thematic to canon, to me. So much of the disaster that is canon comes from those interconnections, those ties of obligation and love and hatred, the ways that those tangle together and can’t come undone, and the ways those get more and more complicated to maintain, and how much damage occurs when they come undone.

3. The city falls, and Idril’s eyes blaze with hatred, and there is blood in his eyes, and he swears he almost remembers this, almost dreamed it once. Soon he is going to wake up, in shadows under the trees, and he will be young again, and whole. (Seven Years)

I am proud of the writing in this fic in general - it remains stylistically different from a lot of what I’ve written, and I am a bit proud of the way it’s very “Maeglin’s terrible horrible no good very bad headspace.” 

But this - which is a closing line - I think remains one of the best in the fic. Maybe not the best image, but the best prose-wise. It’s fragmented, a little disjointed, illustrates - or tries to illustrate - the ways in which Maeglin is coming apart, has already come apart.

4. They fought a crusade for as yet unconquered territory. The ruthless self-command, the unbending will, an affront to two accustomed to domination in all things, and here and now the object of their frustration was at their mercy.

And, at once, a channel through which the Reid-Maletts waged their own war, a more private and intimate one, and Lymond between them the battleground. (The Compassion of the Wicked)

Lymond fic drags a kind of prose out of me that I otherwise do not write, and while it is the hardest kind of prose to write I also do end up being pretty pleased with what comes out of it. This particular fic took shape out of a glorious piece of art and the concept “what if Lymond/Gabriel/Joleta, fucked up and hot” and then it sort of turned into “how Gabriel and Joleta use Lymond sort of as the site of a proxy war that they’re waging on each other even as they are still very closely tied together and working together but also not really.”

It’s funny because Lymond in this fic almost did end up being a casualty of that dynamic: an object they were acting upon. I did not give him a lot of agency. He talks a lot, here, he gives as good as he gets verbally, but he is, very clearly, not the one in control.

The question is whether the person who is in control is Gabriel, or Joleta, or no one at all.

5. It occurred to him that it was possible that while he might have a leash, he’d just put it on a firework with a lit fuse. (a famine in your heart)

I just really like this image, and this description of Xue Yang after Xiao Xingchen’s death - because I think he is, at that point, sort of a ticking time bomb. One way or another, it’s going to go off. It’s just a question of where, when, and who gets caught in the explosion.

The joy of writing Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang across each other is the way that they both see each other. They both understand things about each other that nobody else does, even as they also have things about them that are utterly incomprehensible to the other. I almost chose another line from this fic, where Jin Guangyao thinks of Xue Yang in this state as damaged. It’s something he recognizes that most people wouldn’t: that Xue Yang isn’t just insane, but that on some fundamental level Xiao Xingchen’s suicide broke something in him that isn’t coming back.

6. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

One of my favorite things about writing smut with Xue Yang in it is the way that sex and violence live so, so close together in his brain - and not just sex and violence but sex and death. 

I continue to be fascinated by the way that Xue Yang walks a thin, thin line between reckless and cautious, between survivor and adrenaline junkie, between being pulled toward the idea of death and driven to stay alive over everything else. 

And that’s like. A part of what’s going on here. But also - you know that immortal Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji moment with the if I have to die at least I could be killed by you (paraphrase, don’t feel like looking it up right now)? Yeah, that’s here too. Less in the “it’d be worth it because I know it’d be right” sense, though, then the “better go down to you than anyone else” sense.

Xue Yang has considered his ideal deaths list in detail and at this point “killed by Xiao Xingchen” probably occupies the number one spot.

#nagisachan1 #conversating #top five meme #confessions of a frustrated writer #long post for ts

[lovelyirony]

chilled

December is made up of many things, but warmth has never been one of them for Tony. 

December is cold because large houses are drafty and Tony never wears the warm kind of sweaters that are made with love and Christmas is all about commercialization and an awkward family dinner because it’s not like they could go anywhere. 

Think of the press. 

Think of the fact that Tony knows his family is a complete fucking sham and the only escape he gets is a balcony window with harsh air that clears his lungs and stings through bone. 

If he hadn’t made a promise to Jarvis that he would stop smoking then by god a cigarette would feel fantastic in between his two fingers as he looked out at the landscape. 

Being wealthy buys property that’s exclusive, probably shouldn’t be as large as it is, and it gives you an incredible feeling of being lonely all the time. And when there is snow softly falling and dampening all of the sound, it makes you go a little bit stir-crazy. 

His mother plays Tchaikovsky on the piano. She plays a lot. He used to play when he was eleven and his fingers would move so fast and he’d play it all and his mother would grin but the thing is, he can’t feel the music, right? 

People say that when you play an instrument, you should feel it. Tony’s not sure if everyone’s lying to themselves to cover up the feeling that they know they are frauds or if Tony genuinely probably has a problem with himself. 

(It’s probably the latter, but when you have a dad who probably has a fear of therapy, you don’t go to said therapy and then you find newer ways to cope that will be unpacked in twenty years when you go to the therapy and your therapist will tell you issues that you sort of knew about but you’re not really thinking about yet. Shit like that.) 

Tony stares at drawings. He does this every year and it’s his sort of family tradition except it’s not really a family tradition it’s really his own. 

Norman Rockwell. A good artist, one that Tony envies because he draws all of these scenes that convey such a warmth and Tony thinks he read somewhere that he used people that he knew as models for the works and wow. Just wow. 

Tony kind of wonders what it would be like if he came home from college and his parents would kiss him on the cheek and his father would clap a hand on his shoulder and ask him about classes. 

But that really seems all too much like Leave it to Beaver and on a deeply personal level, Tony finds that show to be domestically terrifying. 

Christmas dinner is boring. It always is. Because after Jarvis leaves on Christmas Eve with all of the cooking done (just warm it up in the oven, Sir) then they sit down. Alone. 

“Isn’t it lovely that we’re all together?” Mom says, because she’s said that every single year since he was fourteen and learned to drive and was probably out every single week because it was a fucking escape from hell. 

“Yes,” Howard says. “But I can feel your attitude from here, Anthony. Straighten up.” 

“Got it,” Tony murmurs. “But it’s Tony.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” Howard scoffs. “Who in the hell calls you that? Besides the tabloids, which you told us you would stay out of.” 

“I have, I got rid of that t-shirt you saw six months ago,” Tony mentions. “And lots of people call me Tony.” 

“The people who matter?” Howard asks and Tony hates this question, hates with a burning passion. 

“To you? No. To me? Yeah.” 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Howard asks. “Are you saying that business doesn’t matter to you? 

Finally. Some fucking excitement. Because Tony knows that while he probably could not tell you Howard’s birthday on any given day or what his favorite song was or whatever it was you were supposed to know about your father, he did know that Howard had a temper that rose to every occasion. 

“Don’t be stupid it’s never fit you quite right,” Tony retorts. “You know I care about business and I care about SI. But the board directors you have right now are all in their fifties and sixties like you and you bet your ass that they won’t stay into their late nineties because they have wives to cheat on and yachts to buy to fuck up the coasts.” 

“Enough,” Maria interjects. “Enough from both of you. It’s Christmas, we are not having an argument at the dinner table.” 

“It’s the only conversation we get all year, why stop now?” Tony taunts. 

“To your room. Now!” Howard thunders. 

An escape, thank god. 

Tony wasn’t sure how much it would take to piss off his parents on a holiday. 

He calls Rhodey, who is grateful. 

“Holy shit I forgot about how much my family won’t shut up,” Rhodey groans. “How are your parents?” 

“Horrible and bad actors, the usual,” Tony says with a shrug. “Jarvis made cream cheese coffee cake this year. I’m seeing how long I can hide it from them. I bet they never find out.” 

Rhodey laughs. 

“Well listen to the new family gossip of this Christmas...” 

Rhodey tells him about an aunt who brought a new boyfriend over and said boyfriend is very disconnected and does not like small children, so obviously he will not last more than another month. 

“By the way, Mama has a sweater for you, when are you gonna come get it?” Rhodey asks. “I’m not mailing that shit to you, someone’ll try to sell it.” 

“It’s a Mrs. Rhodes’ original, who could blame them? The craftsmanship...” Tony trails off. 

Mrs. Rhodes’ sweaters were the stuff of legend. They were also more than half of Tony’s winter wardrobe. They were the ugliest things on the planet, and not even really intentionally ugly, she just made them that way. 

They were Tony’s favorite. 

“What about now?” Tony asks with a sigh. 

“Me, bringing Tony Stark to a family party? Scandal!” Rhodey mocks. “But yeah, let me ask mom.” 

There’s a muffled call and Rhodey’s mother asking if it’s really okay with the parents and Tony lies and says that it is because really his parents couldn’t give a shit and he’ll just leave a note. 

(Fun story time: when Tony was eight they forgot him at an airport and he was there for fourteen hours before he started to cry and asked to speak to Jarvis, who had called about Tony with Maria, who had said he was having a ball at the pool. 

True fucking story.) 

So Tony drives in his car to the Rhodes residence, which really isn’t that far. Forty-five minutes. 

The street is lined with cars and some family down the street is gawking at Tony’s shiny car that he’s restored himself and maybe he’ll take Rhodey to see it when the crowd thins out. 

Rhodey’s family is hushed when Tony enters, although Jeannette laughs, brings him into a hug, and announces to the whole family that, 

“Hey everyone! This is Tony, he’s the bastard who steals all of my blackberry jam.” 

“Don’t say bastard in front of the kids,” Rhodey retorts. “They might think you’re a bitch or something.” 

There’s a round of laughs and just like that Tony slips on his new Christmas sweater, learns that people actually do drink eggnog in the holiday season, and gets into a passionate debate with Uncle Harold about the worst Christmas song ever made. 

And for the first time in a long time, Tony feels warm. 

#christmas #lovelyirony writes #tony stark #ironhusbands #rhodey #listen rhodey deosn't give a fuck

[prince-toffee]

A real major thing I myself was always trying to put into words was I- I don’t know how to say this lightly so I’ll be blunt...

What the fuck is up with the same body/incest kink????!!!

It’s very unsettling and uncomfortable to watch for me. Cause in that scene that everyone likes to use as joke, where Prime holds the chin of one of his clones as he’s talking to Adora, and the clone has a blush. That��s weird. And gross. Because, in my opinion, the way the clone side of the narrative is non-existent and the whole mind slave concept theme is nudged to the background and not explored - it kind of frames the situation as a jokey wink to the audience like the crew saying to the older viewers ‘Oh yeah look how hot this is *wink* *wink*’. It positions the audience to see the scene as ‘hot’ and I- I don’t know what other word to use ‘sexy’? I guess. And I know Prime talks about taking their life force or something, and it does create an uneasy atmosphere and frames it as gross and weird. But when this scene is set before use, Adora, our hero and morality compass doesn’t even acknowledge it, this horrible scene, there’s no “What have you done to them?” or “You make me sick.” or “You’re a monster.” Nothing. Not acknowledged.

Now, there is without a doubt in my mind the intent of portraying a sexual abuse theme in the clones and Prime, or at least I hope that is the case, but with this crew, you never know. I know without a doubt the crew wanted to create an uncomfortable and uneasy atmosphere in the show which represented sexual harassment and assault... but the show is just bad at conveying that. Cause there is no major arc for the clones which explores the concept and victimisation of the clones under Prime and his weird mind rape dick tentacles. That’s not explored. All we’re left with is that scene. And fans speculate that the allegory for the purification and all that is sexual abuse, but the show itself gives us nothing about it.

And so ultimately that uncomfortable and uneasy scene is as such for the wrong reasons. It just feels like we’re supposed to make a funny twitter post about it. It’s like the crew’s inner Adam Sandler is coming out - “Hey isn’t this hot? Hehe! Isn’t this sexy? You’re welcome.” Like no, the audience is supposed to be positioned to be against it, and yet fandom uses it for weird incest clone shipping.

And maybe I would’ve let this go if it was a one time thing, but unfortunately it isn’t. Remember that scene in season 4 where DT transforms into Catra infront of Catra and they have this strange erotic scene between them and then the fans and the crew was like, ‘Yeah, pretty hot right? You’re welcome.’ Like no! That’s weird! What is that??! Where did that come from? Why is that there???!

It’s obvious, at least to me in my opinion, that some of the she ra crew kind of interspliced the actual show with their own weird unsettling kinks. Like it’s weird, no? Is it just me?

I’m sorry for rambling. I- I just don’t like that.

#salted toffee

[lesdoublesll]

Hello!! Just wanted to ask, what do you think about Finkeldorf?? Danke ✌️❤️

Such a small question, but such a complicated one ! I have so much things to say about them I love them so much ♥️

First of all, they are much more than a ship, they are their own persons and boi, I love both. So I think I'll answer what I think of the characters, and of the pairing.

The pairing is AMAZING. They've known each other for so long, they trust each other so much : you can just feel Finkel would do anything to please K, but in an absolutely non toxic way despite K being his superior. He is just super supportive and admirative all the time ! K on the other hand looks very protective with his Finkie ahah which is understandable. He is so adorable, just imagining someone like Freddy being hurt must be unbearable (for me it is 😭). And let's be real : having such a supportive, cute, young boyfriend, I wouldn't want to share him and I would protect him at all costs too ! And I think Taika Waititi did a great job convey all of it in the film, without making it too obvious (because at the time you had to hide it) but on the contrary: making it subtle but beautiful. It's the only long term relationship exposed in it, and it's not even pointed out. Its just there because that is how it is. And that's great lgbt representation : that's just life : they aren't treated any different from hetero characters. Being gay isn't their main trait, it's not only there to serve comic purposes, but it is also there for the plot (for captain K's character and for his relationship with Jojo; I will talk about it later ;) )

So yeah I love them, and the film just reminded me of how it was, being bullied for years for being "a lesbian" (which I am not but you know for some ppl bisexuality is hard to understand) "the bisexual slut who wants to have sex with everyone" and all the slut shaming that came with it. It reminded me of how unfair the whole situation was, of how vulnerable I was, it reminded me of why I've been an active lgbt suppoter for years. And you know, I tend to actually forget how cruel can ppl be sometimes, because it's been two years since I am in humanities in prepschool, half of my friends are bi, the other half are gay and lesbian, I am accepted by my family and my friends, and I have a gf. It's almost like everything is perfect and nothing bad happens to us. But it's not true, and as much as it is crucial we enjoy all the good things that happen to us in life, we must remember some lgbt ppl didn't have that chance and some still don't have it. Some lgbt ppl are still harrassed/arrested/killed everywhere in the world in every country. And Finkeldorf just reminded me that I needed not to forget about it. That I should still fight for my rights, for the rights of every single lgbt person.

Oh and a ww2 gay pairing: my historian brain just loved it xD

Ok. Wow that escalated I am sorry x)

As for the characters.

Freddy Finkel. I absolutely love him with all my heart and that's not even because he is portrayed by the best actor alive. (And the most handsome by the way. ) He is so precious. Maybe he is a little dumb (mostly for comic effects x) ) but he wants to do thing good so bad, almost like he is searching for approval. And surely K gives him all the approval he needs and that's awesome (cause K makes him feel like he isn't that stupid). You can also tell how he is always so enthusiastic and cheerful all the time : he is young and he wants to enjoy life ! And that makes perfect sense that he ends up with someone as desillusioned and sarcastic as K. I think K needs that a lot actually x). Must be refreshing and comforting. Finkel is adorable. Just as Alfie said : he ends up in this situation because of wrong circumstances. He surely does not want to be a soldier, and obviously does not want to be any part of the nazi system: he surely is in the army because it was mandatory, or even before it was mandatory because he wanted to be with K. Just as Alfie said : he is just in love. That's all. Just like a lot of regular soldiers, he must go on and do as he is told, so he can survive with the love of his life. Great life eh ?... :( I don't know if he is part of any group of resistance and I would say no for two reasons. 1) Finkel is loud, dumb and awkward. Not a great idea. 2) I am sure K would not want him to be. He would like to handle things on his own and be sure Finkel is safe. And I am sure Finkel would feel bad for it but would agree with him.

I would never call him a bad person.

Ok Klenzendorf now. There are so many things to say. Sam Rockwell first shall we ? Sam Rockwell is amazing in this role. He just fits perfectly. I have watched a lot of movies with him before and I always loved his part the best in those movies. But in Jojo Rabbit. Omg I was like Pikachu on that meme : :O !! I was gagging !!! (Just ask my gf). He was awesome and the character is PERFECT. Far more complex than Finkel of course, because he is a crucial character of the film. (And a fan favorite of course). He isn't black or white. He isn't a nazi, in the sense that he doesn't believe in this ideology at ALL. That's why he doesn't take his job seriously : that's a fucking rebel and you can't tell me I am wrong. He surely is in the army since WW1. So again : it wasn't his direct choice to be in the german army. But we can tell he likes his job : he likes being a soldier, that was a choice he made before Hitler. But he was let down by this system : all the clubs he used to go to were destroyed, he suddenly could go to KZ because he was gay, his boyfriend could go to KZ because of something he would say or do, his eye lost he couldn't even be seen as valuable by this same system...just imagine seeing the Germany you fought for crumble and fall around you. Being someone and then BOOM being nothing to your country. worst : being someone your country doesn't want at all! Yes that's fucking horrible. And in the film there are evidences that he fights against this system that let him down: the fact that he knows Rosie (who is in a group of resistants) and she HITS him and he says nothing ! That's just like the biggest clue : they are in the same group. X) Rosie's bikes and the gestapo scene when he helps Elsa and Jojo and how he saves Jojo at the end. So yeah surely a resistant. And... he can't to anything else. He can't refuse a mission as a soldier : it would make him in danger, and what he does could make FINKEL in danger too. And if you had to obey to save yourself and your lover I know a lot of ppl out there would do the same. He even tries to convince Jojo to stop thinking about jews, he tries to change his mind ! So he is a complex character and he shouldn't even be a controversial character in the first place. Any sane ppl who watch the film and knows its history should think that way. He isn't the best person, but he is a good person, even if he surely loathes himself for the things he has done. I love him so much!!

There :D thx for the ask.

#alfie allen #jojo rabbit #freddy finkel #sam rockwell #captain klenzendorf #finkeldorf #captain k #taika waititi

[robotslenderman]

Hey, how did you do that, with the chocolate thing? How did you go from eating lots to eating none?

Oof. It was really, really hard.

The trick that basically did it in the end was to buy carob and suck on it instead of devouring chocolate.

Carob is similar enough to chocolate it helped with the cravings, but it also tasted terrible.

And like I said... I sucked on it. Basically anything to slow down the consumption of it. It’s hard to crave something if it’s in your mouth, but if you suck on it you’re ultimately consuming less and that helps “tame” the cravings on their own. That was, ultimately, the only thing that worked. Cold turkey was flat out imposisble. I had carob in my mouth for a full month. Every time I got a craving, I popped a square in my mouth and sucked on it.

If you can’t do carob, do dark chocolate instead. I don’t know why, but I found it far less addictive.

And beware of eating other sugars while you’re doing it. It’s ultimately the sugar that causes most of the cravings (altho some of it might be the caffeine as well). It would be really easy to change your chocolate addiction into a lolly addiction.

The first week was complete and utter hell, and it was so bad it was why I ended up doing the carob trick. The first month after that week wasn’t so bad, but it was still hellish. After the first month it was just a matter of maintaining it -- the cravings were still there, but not overpowering and I could ignore them. This time my willpower had more stamina than the cravings are. After three months the cravings would only be background thoughts and not in the forefront of my mind.

I know sugar isn’t benzos or heroin, but holy shit sugar addiction is definitely a thing. You won’t go into shock, you won’t end up sweating on the floor, but the cravings are just so powerful that when you’re trying to get off sugar it’s all you think about and you’d fucking kill a man just to get a chocolate chip. There’s really no words to convey just how fucking horrible those cravings are and just how much they consume your brain.

I can’t even describe why craving something is so unpleasant, it just is. You need to get it now and... it’s not like I felt like I’d die if I didn’t get it, or anything. I didn’t feel sick. I didn’t feel cranky or like I wasn’t myself any more, or like my personality was suddenly broken. It didn’t physically hurt. Sure, I was a bit more down than usual but the emotional part of it was mild.

But it just felt like every cell in my body was screaming right in my ear and I couldn’t turn it off unless I had the carob in my mouth. It felt like putting my hand on a burning stove and willing myself not to pull my hand away, and having to do that for weeks without a single break. Ignoring the cravings felt like trying to overpower an instinct, only it never got tired, never turned off. There’s only so much willpower you have.

The unpleasantness wasn’t the hellish part. It was listening to my body scream at me without a break and trying to ignore it that was awful.

Keep in mind that I’ve been bedridden from illness, so I am not at all exaggerating when I say how much simply having those cravings sucked. I’m not someone who’s never felt awful pretending that something mild is worse than it is. I’ve been exhausted in my bed so nauseous and sick I’ve seriously considered shitting myself rather than taking the immense energy it would have taken me to walk to the bathroom. I have starved myself because I was too sick and tired to get food or eat. 

I won’t say chocolate withdrawal was worse than that, but neither am I someone who’s never dealt with how shitty a body can feel carrying on like a paper cut is the same as being stabbed. This is not a paper cut. It’s horrible, just... in a different way I can’t describe. It’s more that it’s so intense and full-on and unyielding that makes it so hard. 

I guess it’s the difference between being stabbed, and being strapped to a concert speaker with Barney’s song on repeat for 24 hours a day for weeks at an unbearable volume. Yeah, you could say it’s nothing compared to being stabbed, but on the other hand... does that really sound like something you can tolerate?

Sugar withdrawal sucks ass. So if you’re going for it, god fucking speed and good luck.

TL;DR -- I spent a whole month sucking on carob to basically brute-force my consumption lower. Had a craving? Pop some carob in my mouth, and don’t chew, just suck. Doing that reduced my sugar consumption, which spaced the cravings apart a little more and reduced their power, which meant -- despite how AWFUL the cravings were if I didn’t have any carob -- I actually reduced consumption without even trying as long as I had access to the carob. Once the cravings were weak enough I stopped eating carob naturally because it tastes like shit.

Chocolate cravings stuck around for a few years but they were only background after the first three months or so.

#Dusty talks #actually ADHD #chocolate #crackedfacades #long post

[comicteaparty]

June 20th-June 26th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 20th, 2020 to June 26th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What is something you’re just not very good at right now writing and/or drawing in general?

Deo101 [Millennium]

mysteries. 100% I can not write mysteries!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ears

Deo101 [Millennium]

the connection between legs and torso. No not hips, I can draw hips fine, but like the movement aspect of it

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Action scenes. Orchestrating fights or big motions on the page... it doesn’t come naturally to me! I have to look at a lot of reference to see how other artists do it. Impact shapes, speed lines, anything to convey movement...

But I am slowly building a vocabulary of... fight shapes? I’m calling them fight shapes, haha

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I feel that

Your feeling I feel deeply

"visual library" is a term that comes to mind

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Composition. I just talked about this earlier today, but.... yup. Composition is my bane.

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

I'd like to get better at writing in general. I have a lot of trouble verbalizing things I see in my head, and so I gotta rely on images and thumbnails to get any idea across, sometimes. otherwise im a windbag and use 5000 words to say 0-1 things, lmao

carcarchu

I have trouble writing simply. I always want to embellish, add extra details, more characters and make everything more complicated and i worry it ends up making things unnecessarily convoluted

Drawing-wise i hate drawing hands

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The legit thing I am worse at writing is fucking

Deo101 [Millennium]

omg

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

essays to convince people to hire me

Deo101 [Millennium]

OH OKAY

WAY TO CUT IT OFF

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

YEAH

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

OH

carcarchu

let her finish deo

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

comedic timing at its finest

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

omg

I was very confused for a sec(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but seriously like speaking of filling gaps this is what I'm legit struggling most with right now so any help much appreciated

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

raises hand

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I need to write a personal statement and every time I sit down to edit I want to die

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I volunteer as tribute

writing is basically the only thing I'm really good at

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

It's not the writing I hate

It's the writing about me

carcarchu

is that the thing where you have to write in 3rd person? like those blurb things on people's websites?(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

It just feel so gross whoring out my deeply held passions and struggles for a spot in med school

No I'm talking about college essays lmao sorry for derailing

The blurb things are an interesting topic though!

Have you guys writtent those before and does anyone actually like writing them?

carcarchu

i had to write a blurb about myself for my university's website and yeah it was uncomfy

lemme see if i can find it

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I HATE writing those

because I just start like, "Crona J. is an artist and writer from Chicago......." And I have no idea how to continue

Deo101 [Millennium]

god yeah even just writing a profile or about me is hard enough!!!

I'm always like "deo - 22 - she/her - illustrator - webcomic author - student" and then i leave it

thats it thats all you get

depending on the platform i MIGHT put bi - disabled and thats it!!!!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

yeah

half of the stuff I write doesn't even feel relevant to the audience either

who cares that I have been drawing since I was 12 lol?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Mate I don't even write those. My bio is like "UCSD" "Read my comic"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

hahaha

Deo101 [Millennium]

I also always feel like when I see "ive been drawing since I was 5!" I kinda think like... well everyone has been -_- like this doesnt tell me anything, how long have you been an aspiring pro, how long have you been studying art...? that tells me more

so I never put that kind of stuff in my biod either

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

yeah, and also, I didn't go to prestigious school, so I don't even include my college

and I only have one comic project so far, just under a chapter

so what do I write?

Not that important an issue, but irksome nonetheless

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I don't include my school because it's prestigious, I include it because it's not an art college

Deo101 [Millennium]

owch

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I want fellow stem-y yet artsy people from my school to recognize me as one of them(edited)

DEO stop interupptung me at the worst points!!

Deo101 [Millennium]

i love jumping to conclusions. so no.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

If it's a bio where I can talk about the comics, I try to spotlight a few tropes/genres that'll catch the eye of potential readers. Not a full-fledged summary, just a quick hit of If You Like These Words, You'll Probably Like Reading It. ("Fantasy, comedy, shapeshifters, PTSD, time travel, cats")

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

And if it's gonna be personal, same deal with bits of personal info -- not trying to be a Comprehensive Biography, just pulling a few details that are relatable connection points

The problem with "I've always wanted to be a writer/artist/cartoonist" isn't just how generic it is, the problem is also the vibe of "here's my thing, your role in this is to support me"

Whereas if you say something like "I like drawing cute girls and writing fantasy," the response can be "oh hey, I like seeing cute girls and reading fantasy, tell me more!"

Or if you go with "Sailor Moon fan, will put extra cheese on everything," people can go "cool, that's relatable, we can like Sailor Moon and cheese together." It gets at your shared investment in a fun thing, it's not about expecting them to be personally invested in you

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I think perhaps the most fundamental thing is "you can't please everyone." I've never liked the 'random food related weird tidbit tacked on' thing because it feels too try-hardish to me, but I understand for other people, it's not a matter of trying too hard and is genuinely how they just talk.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Oh definitely, you hold out for a bio that connects with everyone and you'll never get it done

AntiBunny

Personally I'm not great at drawing cars. It's why all my cars early on in the comic were side view only, and old blocky looking things. It was all I could do. I've been getting better by using references.

Every so often I buy a little hotweels or matchbox car when I'm buying groceries. I aim for realistic ones based on real vehicles, especially utility vehicles like ice cream trucks, ambulances, fire trucks, and whatnot you'd see every day in a city. I keep a little box of them on my desk, so if the scene calls for a car to be visible, I have a reference that can help me get all the curves and angles right.

Sure beats drawing from memory, but also practice time in the sketchbook with them is a necessity.

Now crowd scenes are beginning to be my bane. Not because they're hard to draw, just because they're time consuming.

Suddenly I realize why old episodes of Sailor Moon has cities with people free sidewalks and empty streets.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

That's a great idea, gathering the model cars! I should do that for a future comic.

kayotics

I also struggle with cars so, uh, my comic takes place in fantasy 1700-1800s

But also horses are bad too

Cars and horses! They suck

Deo101 [Millennium]

do what I did and make up an easier animal to draw than a horse ;)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Vehicles in general. Should just put everyone on roller blades and be done with it

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'd lov that tbh

kayotics

I’ve considered making something other than horses......

Deo101 [Millennium]

I highly encourage it, the people love it and also so does my brain

kayotics

Or else lean into them being ugly

Deo101 [Millennium]

heres the trick about horses though they look really weird and as small as you make their legs, when you think "this is way too thin..." youre wrong and their ankles are probably smaller than that

kayotics

The thing that gets me is their faces

Deo101 [Millennium]

... mask

kayotics

Hahaha

I should just make deer the normal mode of transport

Deo101 [Millennium]

that would be really cute tbh

kayotics

I love deer and they’re cute

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Just exaggerate them to the point where it looks like a style choice

Your people already have unrealistic proportions

Why not the horses too

kayotics

That’s how I draw buildings tbh because I hate buildings

Deo101 [Millennium]

I also gave horses dog mouths, maybe do something like that? someone can be like "horses dont look like that?" and as long as youre consistent you can say "they do in this world!!!"

kayotics

Oh god no that’s like a devil creature

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah they look horrible but its fun

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I legit remember saying that to you deo lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

ive had dog horse for years you didnt give me this

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Not the they look horrible part

kayotics

I’ve already got beasts, I don’t need horses to look WORSE than they did

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Bwah I remember

Time to archive dig(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I love dog horse

kayotics

Honestly it’s good but they scare me

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah... maybe instead give them cat mouths

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

https://discordapp.com/channels/472908933045026827/634081658018070549/688589449562423422

wait omg this is the message that led to your first dm to me lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

is it??? omg i think it is... historical moment

dog horse brings us together

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Another point to convince kay to draw uncanny animals!

Deo101 [Millennium]

what I do to make birds fun to draw is making them sparkly

maybe try that

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

god you're gonna ruin kay's carefully crafted aesthetic

is this your competitiveness showing its face again(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

they can make it work! why do you doubt their abilities

make this the main mode of transport

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ah is that how it works in that case i have 10 shitty indie game ideas

make them pls

Deo101 [Millennium]

implying my ideas are shitty??? rude!

kayotics

I have an aesthetic?

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Or if you want to be very efficient, everyone in universe can teleport

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lmao you have an excellent aesthetic

crona

i do that already

kayotics

Crona.... that’s my comic already!! Haha

Deo101 [Millennium]

kay does also have teleporting to be clear

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

don't underestimate my laziness!

Deo101 [Millennium]

LMAO

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

See

It must be great advice

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oh crap you're right kay also does have teleporting

and unrealistic beasts, to be fair

kayotics

Sometimes on the same page

That’s the eyes I draw on the beasts

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Or be even lazier, and make it so that horses and beasts either don't exist or haven't been domesticated in that region. Everyone walks. Their feet hurt, but their calves are glorious.

Deo101 [Millennium]

you get it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

wait crona and deo also have comics where teleportation could exist

will you join us?

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

lol, yup

Deo101 [Millennium]

nope

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

(nah, I've already drawn horses. They're not so bad if you stare at photos)

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

drawing horses is fun!!

[multiple people are typing]

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

And there will also be hella walking, because the leg game must be strong, otherwise I'm not doing my job

Deo101 [Millennium]

ive decided that millennium is like really in the future but things like time travel, teleportation, warp speed... nope! You can go really fast in a spaceship but like nothin crazy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

man these planets real close together then

or maybe people just live a really long time ...?

Deo101 [Millennium]

I just do my version of teleporting which is "wow it'll take a week to get there" and then its a week later

dont worry about it

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

nice

Deo101 [Millennium]

its not realistic, but its consistent

🌈ERROR404 🌈

ahhhh horses are really nice to draw imo, if i can get it right lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

I like drawing horses a lot I just never do it tbh

🌈ERROR404 🌈

something needs to fuel my addiction to cowboy culture

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Consistency is key tbh

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I just do my version of teleporting which is "wow it'll take a week to get there" and then its a week later

when my whole comic takes place in like a week lmao

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

if you decide that gravity doesn't exist in your world, as log as you're consistent with it, you're golden

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

in the unlikely event i get tired of drawing my comic i can adopt deo's strat "wow it'll take a week to get to the ending"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

My comic takes place in about a year (not counting flashbacks which span... uh... a very long time)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

"man sure seems like this conflict will take approximately a week to be resolved" "one week later"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

hahaha

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

"sure did get resolved"

the end

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

convenient

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i wonder if anyone's done that

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

One Korean series I followed for years did it

and everyone was pissed, as you can imagine

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

better than cancellation?

Deo101 [Millennium]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

what a way to go

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'd honestly have preferred cancellation/ abandonment

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Just have a fan finish it for you at that rate lmao

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

OH that's a good discussion topic. If you got tired of your comic, or life got in the the way of you working on it anymore, how would you end it as quickly as possible?

Deo101 [Millennium]

maybe rephrase that a little

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I would toss it at my little sis, and she would do it for me, no joke

Deo101 [Millennium]

My little sister also would probably take over it for me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

let's move to general?

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

eyyy!

Deo101 [Millennium]

but also I could just be like "They got an email that john died of old age its over now"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

MVP sisters!

lol

an email

what a way to end it

eliushi [Keyspace]

For me it’s panels. Past me thought that the four panel structure would make things easy. Nope. It’s limiting how I want to tell the story so... I’m trying to branch out now and looking for other inspirations for panel and layout

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Just change the shape of your panels. It forces you to be creative.

eliushi [Keyspace]

True true! I have those in upcoming updates

But my heart swoons for the page spreads

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

oh yes

They are so gorgeous, but difficult to plan

eliushi [Keyspace]

Initially I was planning on storyboards but now I’m more comfortable with comics I think I’ll be aiming for traditional layouts

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, storyboards are an entirely different beast

Desnik

I'm currently working on clearly portraying character motivation

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I think for me I don't draw animals often and rip have to draw a few for the upcoming pages so I'm just doing my best at this point lol

AntiBunny

Panel arrangement is the heart of comics as an art form. It takes practice, and study to learn how the eye flows from one thing to the next.

And once you have a thorough understanding of the rules you can learn how to carefully break them to produce something truly eye catching.

If I had to say the simplest rule to understanding flow is, if you need arrows to tell you which direction to read, then you're doing something wrong.

DanitheCarutor

This is candy for my self-deprecating mentality. Lol Honestly though. I'm not the best at writing in general, I don't like doing it physically, avoiding it at all cost (outside of dialogue and poorly done bullet points on scrap paper.) so I don't really know if/think I'm particularly good at it. I remember the last time I tried to physically write something was back in high school, I still have it saved on my computer, but it was something else. Too many dialogue scenes and overly detailed descriptions of things and characters. I only made it a little ways before giving up with "You know, this will be easier to just show than describe.". Story and character wise for my current comic, I'm not sure how well it's turning out or how good it will be in the end, my brain defaults my work to mediocre so I tend to be totally blind to what I'm doing right. I know my characters aren't the best for sure since they're all fleshy flaw bags with too many flaws, and I know I could have presented certain scene changes and such better, but that's all I can think of objectively. The art portion is something I at least know I can execute decently, but my color composition is the worst. I'm aware that I need to improve it, and I know what needs to be done, but it's something I can't really accomplish with my comic since I just want to focus on finishing pages. I'll have to make time to draw up some throw-away illustrations to experiment with, which I hope to have a little bit of now that I'm not on a regular update schedule. Also I can't draw vehicles and architecture for the life of me, I've referenced and studied but I still can't wrap my head around it. ALSO extreme angles and perspectives are still things I need work on, like 4-point circular perspective, ground level shots and over the head shots.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There's a lot of things I want to improve, but something I haven't seen mentioned yet: I would like to get better at deciphering feedback, how to glean useful things from multiple conflicting feedback.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Ooh that's a good one keii

I haven't really had to deal with that before though because all the negative feedback I've gotten is pretty consistent

Can I ask what the conflicting feedback you got is?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Oh gosh, I legit spent a long, long moment trying to figure out where to even start

eliushi [Keyspace]

I really like this approach to feedback

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yo Eli this is so good

eliushi [Keyspace]

Mary robinette is goals

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

this is spectacular already

wow

eliushi [Keyspace]

Pretty sure a wiser writer passed this onto me I have since used it a lot and it works for me

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

This is so so good Perfectly said about crits in creative fields

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

One example I can think of isn't actually something that was criticized, but showed up a lot in various ways: "this is (supposed to be) an exciting adventure romp centering Danbi" vs "this is an emotional journey story centering Ethan" ... Not a criticism, but two very conflicting interpretations. People who have one interpretation are shocked and confused when I tell them about the other one.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Holy crap, Eli... This is one for the folder of absolute knowledge

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

woah, excellent advice

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

And yeah, that is a really good one. Symptoms are extremely useful, and diagnoses tend to be more useful in a conversation rather than a one-way "here is my diagnosis" thing

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I haven't heard it said before but the explaining eliminating a clean reaction rings so true to me

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Ahhh, this is literally the one document I have needed my entire life

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

also the helping someone tell the story they want

also the stream of consiousness, MAn

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I think I'll save that for my future high schoolers lol

some of the stuff said there is what I've noticed in the last few years critquing in academic settings but its nice to kno!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

People have given me stream of consciousness reactions before and they were the most helpful. Almost all the changes in the story from others' reactions were from stream of consciousness reactions, not intentional critiques

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, one of the most helpful "critique" I ever got was also completely unintentional

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

One of the most useful tips in this guide for me in particular is the "As a writer don't:" section. I struggle with it a lot.

On the note of things we are bad at in the comic-making process, I am very bad at taking critiques!(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

tbh for a long time, my biggest struggling point that's not in the "as a writer don't:" is "don't throw yourself into the void of self-hate." I'm better now, but boy, when it was bad, it was bad.

But perhaps that kinda thing better fits into "as a person don't:"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I am pretty good at taking critiques, but pretty bad at giving critiques! Right now the point I'm at is I'm just gonna not give critiques until I'm more mature

But then after I decided that an amateur writer friend told me his story idea that I not only disliked but was sort of offended by

and I really wanted to tell him but I didn't know how to do it nicely...

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

ooof

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

oh no

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

yeah, that's really tough

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

rip I tend to do kinda a sandwich method. I had to say some rough things few days ago on a practice pitch run and I pretty much said

Deo101 [Millennium]

Uh oh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

"Your idea is developing for sure, but I think you need to reconsider some of the world building choices you done. Have you thought of researching such and such."

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

That's basically what I said

But I think I had to say "research ffs" in increasing intensity like 3 times lol

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Oh, nice, the "let's give them compliments too so that they know I'm not just being mean" method

It's a good method tbh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Rip it's not that like

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Deo might have something to say about this but it was about schizophrenics in a mental institution being portrayed in a real weird way by someone who didn't know anything about it(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Ooof

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ah man

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

ewww

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'll always stand by "asking people who've lived what you're writing about is the best form of research and can't be replaced"

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Yeah I would said the to the person consider researching more on the topic and interview folks who have schizophrenia

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Dude I brought you up lmao

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

and also like "is there a reason you want to depict it this way?"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

oooh

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I know I'm agreeing idk... Idk what else I'd have to say on the topic

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

That's a very good question to ask someone

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

and depending on their responses, I would just put my two scents in there that rip

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I always ask "what are your goals?" Before I ask anything else

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

critiques are kinda my strong point sinc eLMAO I do em all the time in my class

and teaching so yeah LOL

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Deo I mean I brought you up to this guy like saying "my friend messaged people online and they were super willing to talk to her you could do that"

Deo101 [Millennium]

OHHHHH gotcha

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I try my best to figure out what they want out of it and just deliever with some handful of suggestions

but I won't sugarcoat it unless you're a high school student or younger lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I'm often told I'm a lil too harsh but like idk

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I wouldn't say sugar coating it per say... More just telling them what their strengths are too, so that they have an idea of where they're at

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

telling someone their strengths is just as useful as telling them their flaws

that way they can highlight them

like just because you story has no flaws doesn't mean it's good right?

gotta have stuff that stands out in a good way as well

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Someone once phrased it as "Let's list everything that's wrong here, and find out how we can fix them" vs "How do we take this to the next level?" and that really resonated with me. It's not about sugarcoating; it's more about helping them get to the next level in the direction they wanna go.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

THIS

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I try to point out things that are going well, and I usually try to only point at things that ppl can work on immediately

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I should phrase my statement more clearly. But yeah Kei that's what I usually look for when critiquing

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There's often no need to tell them "your writing is only at level 3, and that's bad because the max level is 99." Just tell them how to get to level 4.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I dont' see it like its something bad but something that is challenging to them at the time

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Unless they have extremely unrealistic expectations or whatever that are standing in their own way

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

just have to figure out how to get out of the hump

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Yep. I see this phenomenon in animation a lot. A good animation director will help you boost your existing work to something stronger, but still yours. A bad one will tell you to do it their way, and chide you for doing it ‘wrong.’

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

rip I know a person like that and lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yessssss

That's why I always ask "what are your goals" to start

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yup

🌈ERROR404 🌈

I totally agree!!!! A LOT of the most important bits of great criticism is understanding exactly where the original creator was intending to go, and formatting your statements around helping them achieve that!!!!!!!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Critiques are impossible if you don't know what the person is trying to achieve

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Just stating things that you would change if you were making it may seem useful and relevant to you the critic, but unless the creator is headed the exact same direction as you, they have just as much reason to invalidate the entire statement as they do to nit pick out the things they care to agree with

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Sometimes a prospective critic is simply too far removed from the target audience of the work, like on a fundamental level, and it makes it impossible to give them useful feedback. I think it's important to acknowledge that this can happen. It happens to me a lot and I just decline to give crits when it does.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, like don't ask me to critique a comic about sports lmao

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agree on that notion, esepcially when seeing professional aritsts giving crits to folks starting out but it doesn't go as er ideal as they thought it would be

Deo101 [Millennium]

That's why I usually only seek out criticsm (for more than just general direction/advice) from people who's work I like

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I remember reading advice on getting beta readers, and it’s really REALLY important that they’re excited for your stuff. They want to make it better. They care. They can give critique, but they absolutely must be jazzed about your subject matter in some way, or else it’ll be a slog for everyone.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

for me, I have my peers who I contact daily and we give each other advice, tips

despite having er difference interests in fields, but we experienced a lot in our program lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yes... (Speaking of if anyone wanted to beta read my next comic uhhhh let me know id love to have u)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

very good point claire

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

100 percent agree Get people who are excited and know your vision

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I have a small group of writer friends who know all my goals and a lot of my stuff? So they make a very good little critique circle, and we all help eachother

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I'm always ready to beta read if it's a concept I enjoy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

like people who critique comics they hate. I'm like, damn, tough work but also ?? why

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

(Be careful about people who are excited about what they think is your vision.............)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Fish is this a callout for me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

slightly?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ahsjfkdjdkskdjdjdj

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Keii I experienced the oppisisite like rip

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it's just mystifying to me, I don't think it's wrong or anything

Deo101 [Millennium]

Also crona I'll send u when I'm at my comp

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

sure

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

What do you mean Tuyetnhi?

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Ohh that would be oof to deal with Kei

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I had to let a person down to reality bc I know they're excited about their idea but uhhhh

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

(Is it the fish romance?)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it wasn't engaging to me

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yes that one qjdjfkskdkk

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

nor my illustration friends

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I don’t have beta readers but I think that’s how it all goes lol

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

and we were like

"AAAAAAA"

Deo101 [Millennium]

Oh that's awkward

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Ooooooohhhhhhh... oof

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I have a couple friends I send pages to sometimes but they're always really positive about it

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

It was a rough critique

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Having creative friend circles is so essential for growth and screaming at eachothers works for motivation too

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yessss

Also just the ability to talk about your process without having to explain yourself

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

agreed lol

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I occasionally tap my fiance's shoulder and shove my sketches in his face with zero context, just to make sure he can figure out what's going on without me explaining. Super helpful

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I feel like I have a couple friends where, when I read their stuff, I know things that would amp their work up tenfold. But until they ask me... I’m screaming inside lol

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

my friend always makes me feel like i'm a better writer than i am because she thinks so much like me she gets everything i write perfectly lol. But then I post and the comments are like "wtf i'm confused"(edited)

eliushi [Keyspace]

Yeah feedback is most effective when both sides are open and invested

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Claire Senpai Wants To Help

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

also same crona(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

It’s not bad, I just go I THINK I CAN HELP YOU MAKE IT AWESOMER AHHHHHH

eliushi [Keyspace]

Claire senpaiiii

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

But until then I remain still and supportive

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

why don't you ask them "can i suggest things?"

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I try and keep my mouth shut

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

or "do you want suggestions?"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

lol

eliushi [Keyspace]

I usually say what I like about it first and then. Are you looking for feedback?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Tbh hearing "can I suggest things?" Usually comes off kinda like "I see stuff wrong with this :)" which can hurt a little even then

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

YEeeeah

🌈ERROR404 🌈

At least for my comic, i have sent bits and pieces for critique from creators i am friends with , but i'm really hesitant promoting myself because I don't feel like I'm not at a place to even get a critique i'll be able to make anything of. O(--( i really don't know what I'd do if someone tried to seriously analyze my plot and break down the story right now

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

It's really hard, because a lot of people (myself included) get scared when someone else asks, "Do you need help?"

Deo101 [Millennium]

I usually trust ppl to say whether they're looking for feedback

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Its always so tricky to gague the reactions of that. Some people handle that better than others So i only offer when they open up

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Based on how people can get about even the offer of critique, yeah, I tend not to say anything. That’s their baby. If they want to open that door, then I’ll poke my head in

eliushi [Keyspace]

True too. I’m already in forums where feedback is wanted so I’m already in selection bias

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, I like to only offer crits if someone is asking for it for that reason

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

for the record i'm always open to critiques

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

kinda mutal agreement on don't chime in unless asked lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, at least in my groups we send things like "hey this and this are bothering me? Can you help?" And other than that it's just support

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, that's a good idea

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

for both parties. For me, If it's something that I need thoughts I ask but otherwise, lmao my social circles ask me for help for their art stuff

Deo101 [Millennium]

We never agreed on that btw it's just kinda how it goes

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

That's a nice group way to handle that AND make the space more breathable for others who are more nervous about crit work

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

exactly

eliushi [Keyspace]

There’s a time and place for everything and feedback is no different

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah! Like here we have seperate chats for help and sharing

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yuss

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

When someone asks me if I'm open to suggestions, my reaction is usually "nOOoooOo..." but not always. I think it helps a ton if there's an existing rapport, like if I already know this person gets, REALLY gets, my work.

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

And that's okay Keii!

eliushi [Keyspace]

Yeah I’m super thankful for my betas for that

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yee same

eliushi [Keyspace]

It’s very rewarding when people are also invested in your work to make it better within your means and style

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Honestly u gotta do whats best for u and ur mindset in the end.

Deo101 [Millennium]

It also is a little but awkward to say "no I'm not open to suggestions' cause it feels like you're saying "I don't care to improve" when in reality it's more like "no... I'm happy with this and I don't want it to be soured"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I love the fact that if I post in #creator_art_share, nobody will critique me unless I ask. And if I post in #art_help, I can get that help. So incredibly nice

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yes! Thats very respectful

eliushi [Keyspace]

So key

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Omg Deo.....such a mood LOL

Deo101 [Millennium]

I always feel so bad saying no thanks but it's like it looked good I thought

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

omg, I felt that in my soul

We beat ourselves up enough as it is

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Sometimes i know my work can be farty but... I dont also want perfection in every facet of my pieces too and thats okay! Some are learning pieces, others more indulgent

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I think I'd be very hesitant to accept ideas that will utterly break my core plot... unless someone comes out and outright tells me something about it is offensive or wrong or otherwise bad. But critique on the connective tissue between the bones, so to speak, heck yes. I've gotten some much better ideas from that.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

e.e even if i post in art share i would be honored to receive a critique from any of you

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Oh, if someone comes to me with suggestions that are that incompatible with my vision, I'm getting outta there.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but i don't wanna post every single thing i do in art help hm

but maybe i should

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I am SO getting outta there.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I did had some suggestions that didn't... really help with my comic most of it are just comments and not pure criticism

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Just post it lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah it's probably best to leave crit in the crit section so as not to break that unspoken rule.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

To signal to the rest of us

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yea your vision is key, and i find that people who crit the work need a basic understanding of it for it to be a True Crit

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Yeah it's probably best to leave crit in the crit section so as not to break that unspoken rule.

good point

i wouldn't want people critiquing me to make others feel like it's okay to do that to everyone

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

A good attitude!!! Y'all are very respectable this is a wonderful topic

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeee

eliushi [Keyspace]

I think the best feedback is one where it makes your work become more effective within your vision. Sometimes it’s finding the betas who are invested but I also find betas who focus on different crafts also can offer a lot of wisdom. I find it comes down to being open and it’s never a bad thing to ask for clarification

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

[also writes this down for a potential lesson actvity for high schoolers] (edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, a critique is supposed to help the work become a better version of itself, not a better [something else]

Deo101 [Millennium]

Mostly with true beta reading I am looking for "how clear is my work coming off to someone who knows nothing of my lore and backstory etc?"

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I like the idea of having at least one beta reader who's a writer, and at least one who's not. The writer can dissect things a bit more than a 'civilian' could while the civilian can look at surface-level things and react as the audience majority might.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

multiple beta readers are a blessing lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Cause with my friends, they already know everything I'm planning, so i worry a lot that they are putting together things that a regular reader wouldn't

So yeah same thing as a "civilian" reader, sort of!

eliushi [Keyspace]

For sure. Within my critique group I have novelists, webcomic creators and artists. Those who read the complete script and those who haven’t. It’s important to have all sides I find

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Dang you people with your luxury of multiple beta readers... I don't even have one (but it's mostly my fault; my scripts are unreadable)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

omg lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i'm sure you could use many of us as beta readers if you wanted to!

varethane

that surface-level 'first gut reaction' crit can be SO useful

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I change dialogue too frequently for a beta reader to have a fair chance, lol

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I started early with one years ago, but now I have like 5-10ish but they can't help me at the same time lmao

varethane

I agree upthread with when it was said that some of the most helpful crit was given unintentionally lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

same. i asked some people, including deo and crona, for a beta read of a script a while back but then ended up changing most of it lol(edited)

eliushi [Keyspace]

Most of my betas I found in forums like these! I’m sure a lot of us want to help each other out!

Deo101 [Millennium]

I usually only share stuff once I have at least a solid sketch and dialogue is in

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

so much changes in the thumbnail/layout stage for me. SO MUCH. whole scenes get swapped/cut/extended

I never keep it the same way

Deo101 [Millennium]

I don't like to share scripts cause also I don't usually script much anyways lol

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) As a long-time reader of HoK, I would be more than happy to beta read if you ever wanted it. Just throwing that out there!

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

same Lazuli like

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I'd love to beta read for anyone too

varethane

I prefer sharing sketched pages because my scripts usually change SO much in between being written and going onto the page

like, sometimes they're outright unrecognizable

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

@Deo101 [Millennium] Same. The couple times I really wasn't unsure about a scene, I had to find someone and give them cleaned up thumbnails

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I don't share more than sketched pages with dialogue

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

SUPER cleaned up thumbnails

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

from thumbnail to final, like they aren't the same from before lmao

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Most helpful critique for me was just someone engaging with the story. "Man I love - and -, they're such good friends, but - pisses me the fuck off" and that was my intention, but i realized it was coming on a bit stronger than i liked and changed the next scene dramatically to make a future plot point where the last character needs to be trusted feel more earned(edited)

varethane

(anyone who seriously is down for beta reading, I have 3 finished chapters burning a hole in my buffer hhnnnnggggg)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah cause also like, 80% of the crit is usually "well this paneling is unclear" kind of stuff too

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

also i don't mind if anyone is asking me to beta read

Deo101 [Millennium]

Which you can't do from a script anyways

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

or (I don't usually do this often but)

I'm also a sensitivity beta reader too

so if you have questions about POC stuff, asian-american, er mixed-asian or mixed-black experiences

I'm willing to help lmao

but i'm just one perspective to the table

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

A lot of comments, not critiques, have influenced scenes I put later too. Things to clarify, expand, emphasize. I take every comment like that as an idea. I love knowing what the readers hope to learn.

eliushi [Keyspace]

I’m in the midst of a 180k plus word count novel beta and alphaing a couple works but once that’s all done, happy to take a look too

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

holy

Deo101 [Millennium]

Wowie

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Getting trustful beta readers i gotta say again is so important bc sometimes when asking for some, u run into betas that are there to just exploit that privilege too (tho rare) And!!!! Be respectful of ur betas on the other side of the spectrum

Deo101 [Millennium]

Exploit how?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

like to read your work early?

eliushi [Keyspace]

Definitely pick your betas wisely

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Usually just the free ride of Knowing the Story or the opportunity to just Constantly Crit (non helpful) bc of personal reasons

Deo101 [Millennium]

Damn

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I'm imagining having someone sneak in as a beta and reveal they're a rabid toxic fan trying to influence the plot to their liking. As an absolute worst scenario

Deo101 [Millennium]

Spooky

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yea.... There's def ppl out there that would do that THOUGH RARE again. I think that's more of like Competition in the field or spite? But ive heard it happening and its not cool

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

like people just looking for a free ticket to complain about your work?

i can see that

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Oh yeah, I had folks like that before

after that I'm just like "thank you for your time" and block them after LMAO

Deo101 [Millennium]

That sucks :(

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

hhhhhhh

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yea And u can always tell a sincere crit from a one that comes from a place of malice and ill intent pretty easy.

eliushi [Keyspace]

Exactly

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

oof

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Still!!! A horrible experience

Deo101 [Millennium]

:< yeah

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah.. I've never had anything like that happen, but wow... that's a terrifying notion

eliushi [Keyspace]

You tend to want to know your betas more than just them being a reader too. I like to think my betas are my friends and it’s a two way street where I help them too

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Some betas sign papers of confidentiality to avoid these instances of people running off with ur work too

eliushi [Keyspace]

There are paid betas but that’s business side and yeah Krispy

Deo101 [Millennium]

/stress

eliushi [Keyspace]

I don’t have them for mine

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Its scary bc we're all so small and our work is mainly for free U have to be wary of this

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I could easily see myself getting sucked into a bad situation like that I trust people too easily sometimes

but ugh... ya gotta learn

eliushi [Keyspace]

It’s good to know the risks. That being said, I think the rewards of having a good beta far exceed the bad apples. You have to set good boundaries

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Not that any of yall would do this omgjghg

Deo101 [Millennium]

Same Claire ajdjdnsdjjjdjdjdjddj

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

gonna steal all y'alls IDEAS

eliushi [Keyspace]

It’s also totally valid to say, hey something came up and I can’t beta anymore

Key is communication

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

lmao ya gotta kill me for my ideas

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Isossn Watch out for that Claire lady

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

https://tenor.com/view/laugh-giggle-mutley-dick-dastardly-snicker-gif-5552702

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Omg Eli yesssSSSSS that!!! Is important for both creator and beta to have that communication

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Oh no, my precious ideas!!!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Eh even if u steal my ideas you can never steal my characterizations!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

just steal everything and make a horrible hodgepodge of all of our webcomics, like some sick frankenstein's monster

Deo101 [Millennium]

I don't think my ideas are the best part of my stories anyways :P

Ahsjdjfjdjfjdjfjdififiididkfkdje Frankensteins webcomic

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my ideas are relevant to my cultural background so I'm like lmao

eliushi [Keyspace]

I learned from my novel days that ideas are dime and dozen and it’s the execution that counts(edited)

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I would actually love that tbh

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Oh no id read it tho XD

Deo101 [Millennium]

Massive crossover event

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

YES

PLEASE

eliushi [Keyspace]

Super smash bros when

varethane

lmao

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

hahaha

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I really want people going into healthcare to critique my personal statement, but I won't send it to anyone because I've legitimately heard of people stealing others' personal statements and getting both people rejected

Deo101 [Millennium]

Wow

eliushi [Keyspace]

That’s scary and unfortunate

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

ooof

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it's almost worse than stealing a story idea because you're stealing like

someone's life story??

or their personality??

it's extremely strange to me

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah that's ??????

eliushi [Keyspace]

I would consider having a mentor look over your statement but that’s veering off creator babble territory

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oh i am doing that and very very thankful to them

Deo101 [Millennium]

Good suggestion and good point

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

After recently seeing a whole comic style/theme completely and obviously lifted from another one... yeah, the things that make your comic yours? They can absolutely be stolen whole-cloth

It's scary

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oh no

god what even is the fun in that??

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I don't know. I really don't.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

you know what i want to spend years doing? telling a story that's already been told, except worse!

varethane

D:

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've had someone steal designs before

varethane

dpsofasdj I am so curious about these cases now aaahhh

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ppl do steal stuff. But what sucks for them is I'm the one with a brain and I can make new things

eliushi [Keyspace]

I’ve seen similar styles but have not seen a purposeful recreation of another’s style whether as impersonation or plagiarism

Haruh2 (Colony Life)

i just read a webtoon that was "inspired" by an anime with many ideas from anime too

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

It was a case where I always thought the two looked surprisingly similar, but then... yeah, you learn more things and you go AW GOD OKAY

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

this, and offensive stuff, is a case where i think unsolicited critique is 100% okay

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, though then it's the line of "is it offensive just to me? Or overall?"

Though I guess saying "this offended me" isn't horrible or whatever

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think of the trend of lgbt youtubers making videos making fun of anti-lgbt crap and that's a case where i'm like yeah! pile on!

You have a good point and there are cases where something is almost objectively offensive

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, and then there are other cases where ppl are offended by how I've decided to have no homophobia where it's like "okay sure but I'm not doing anything wrong"

But yeah there are definitely times where it's like "no that's bad for sure and I'm allowed to be critical of and mad about it"

I also think there's a difference between criticizing mass media and criticizing independent media

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Wait What what omg???? Thats???? So backwards

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

well, here's an anti-critique. it offends me when someone says that being lgbt must be hard and sad all the time!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah! I'd agree with that LOL

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

can I just be happy

as a bi woman

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

"IT'S NOT LIKE MY LIFE THEREFORE IT'S INACCURATE"

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ahdjfjskfkdkckskfksdksk yeah

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

So true tho!!

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

God, I hate that argument

Deo101 [Millennium]

Though I do think that its worth it to open yourself up to that kind of critique to potentially reach the people who do need your story

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

Yes def agree

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

True true

If there's a blind spot you're missing, then for sure

Deo101 [Millennium]

Well, I was meaning more like "you can't please everyone, but that shouldn't stop you from trying your best anyways!"

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Ah! also true

Deo101 [Millennium]

Like not necessarily blind spots, but more like. Some people will be mad no matter what sorta thing

Yee

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

so tru

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Yeah for sure. I've tried to cover my bases on certain things in my own work, but I'm sure if it ever gets bigger, someone will be unhappy about something.

I'm not ready for that day, but... maybe it'll come

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah. Like I said I had someone get mad at me for not having homophobia

Where it's like... Okay stop reading then cause this isn't the story for you

Actually my friends replied to then and they did kinda turn around on their thinking, I think, so that was nice!

There's something I'm bad at for the question, is replying to my comments

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oh? :0

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

okay sometimes i've said to my friends "yo weird ass comment, right?" and they've gone and defended me like way extra hard

i'm always grateful but also a little (edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah same. .

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

too mch man

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah it's like Thank you but

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I do have some weird comments but the ones that I just kinda trying to offend me

I don't look at it till after a few months and respond to them calmly lmao

no point for me to just get rilied up for someone trying to get on my nerves but rip that's probably just me and how I deal with that stuff in irl too

I don't let my friends go after bozos lmao

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah for me I just like. Try really hard to be diplomatic, I guess? But it takes a lot of energy

When what I WANT to say is "lol read another comic then" or something but I try to think of a way to be nice

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yee I understand on that. for me I'm just say it as it is if at's the moment but for more heated comments I address them after a few months lol

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I haven't gotten any weird randos yet apart from... one legendary one But things are always calmer on your own site far away from Tapas/Webtoons

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agree on that but lmao

I did had one angry commenter going agro for few of my pages

and I looked at it and I was like "Oh worm man"

they were just reacting to my characters being shit LMAO

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

OH WORM MAN

very good

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I ignore it tbh. I recently had someone comment "All lives matter" at the end of my comic because I included "Black lives matter" at the end. And I honestly knew i didn't have the mental fortitude to explain to them why that was so rude and missing the point.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lol my mom is saying that stuff and i'm just like :|

okay mother

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I guess for writing for me, now thinking about it is that

on the prompt: I don't respond quick and I'm not really active much on interaction but I want to try more

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I haven't gotten any weird randos yet apart from... one legendary one But things are always calmer on your own site far away from Tapas/Webtoons

I really haven't either though! Just a few people saying mildly :| things, no hate or anything. Wt is not always as scary as its reputation

or maybe i'm in the eye of the hurricane idk

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

lol

I have had mostly good experiences too

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've had mostly good too!

I know I complain a lot but really I'm just salty and that's just a few bad things here and there

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The comment I was thinking about earlier was just an innaccurate interpretation of characters' feelings. They thought some people had a romantic history. I wasn't going to respond but my friend went all "if you actually read the comic you would see th- " and I was thinking omg tone it down a bit

Deo101 [Millennium]

Bajsjdjekdjdkdjd

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

never underestimate the Friend Army

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I had a reader I didn't know defend me in the comments once. The original commenter was complaining about the length of my updates, and the other reader started railing on them. It was powerful lmao. I didn't even need to say anything

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh! same

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've had some ppl defend me or explain for me and it's like. Idk a special kind of magic ahahahah

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Oh for sure! It feels magical to know that some of your readers passionately love your work

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Update-length complainers are so cathartic to smack down. Not that I've done it, I just... like seeing it

You're getting a free comic. Made by a human with a life. Chill

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

All my comments are normal where are my weirdos

boogeymadam

someone take some of my weirdos, my comic attracts them

but not really because i accidentally gave claire one of my weirdos and i feel Sooooo bad

Haruh2 (Colony Life)

i feel im still a long way off from getting anyone with my comic

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

weirdos are contagious apparently

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

You don't have to be popular to get a weirdo

Sometimes like... you could have 1 regular commenter and that person is a weirdo

or not even a commenter, you show your work to a RL friend before posting it online, and the friend takes off their mask dramatically, and reveals their True Identity as a professional weirdo

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

for real, i was posting on SJ and had all of like a dozen followers and one guy went through and heavily critiqued a ton of my pages

Like technical stuff like paneling and flow of action?

Also said my female lead looks like a man and my animation was nauseating lol

Haruh2 (Colony Life)

heh well after i do this current update im working on, i'll be scraping how ive been doing updates and following some tutorials i finally found

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I like critique but even so that guy was :|

boogeymadam

omg noooo sorry that happened fish! D: unsolicited critics are some of the worst

DanitheCarutor

I guess that is the one thing I've been lucky with. I actually don't mind unsolicited critique, but I've never gotten any outside of one time someone corrected my character's grammar in the comments. Commentary like that is way more welcome than the occasional anonymous hate comment, and malicious article calling me a fetishist, which is all entertaining in its own way but not as easy to deal with. Now that critique is brought up I'm reminded that I need to work on how I respond to it. Like, I actually get kind of excited when someone takes the time to break down my stuff (even if it totally misses the mark with what I'm trying to accomplish), but I end up responding with a novel and sometimes it's worded in a way that sounds like I'm upset. I need to get better at keeping it short and sweet.

Feather J. Fern

I raise my hand to say I can't draw hands for the life of me still after praticing for a long time. I used all the techiques, tricks, and still my hands are just butts.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

make a universe where people have butts for hands

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

This is a really minor one and thankfully easy to correct after publishing, but: my ESL-ness shows sometimes, especially with prepositions and articles. My English isn't terrible; there's just some occasional "wait did they mean 'on' where they put 'in'..." That's on the surface level. I also can't do that 'just write the dialog and see how the characters bounce off each other' thing in English. I hadn't thought much about that until I started writing a story in Korean, and I was surprised how much easier it was to get flowin' with the dialog. I'm not toooo concerned about this one, as Get Flowin' is just one way of writing a scene. But it is a thing.

Feather J. Fern

Eightfish stop calling me out that I can draw butts better than hands okay(edited)

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

feather have fun drawing the gluteus maximus

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I see nothing wrong here

Moral_Gutpunch

I'm bettign most people here can draw hands better than me.(edited)

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

S’okay, my hand drawing is pretty bad

Feet is...also an issue

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

The best reference is the one attached to you, I always say

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

or make your so pose for you

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yes

That

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

looks back at comic and sees lots of guy characters with slender palms MHMMMM

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Hahaha

Lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ahahha i have the same problem

some guys have thick ass fingers when i look at them closely omg

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, everyone has pretty thin fingers in mine, because I have thin fingers(edited)

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Okay yeah not gonna lie I HAVE made my SO pose for me. Several times.

Oh yeah don’t forget

Guys can have hairy knuckles too

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I have had my SO pose his hands retroactively for me, imitating a panel I did And I was screaming inside LOL

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

this stuff makes me :00

Deo101 [Millennium]

I have hairy knucles and my hands are bigger than my dads

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Ughhhh, that's too much detail for me, Shadow

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Yoslslzlzrhlzxzzkhzhlztututs funnily enough my SO’s hands and mine are of similar length

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

For such a small person, I have really long fingers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

reminded me of a convo i had with some friends

they sent a reference and said they thought it was unrealistic because of how much the tendons stick out

and i said, no, that's how mine look

and it was interesting seeing the differences

Deo101 [Millennium]

everyone share hands

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I mean, especially since your fingers are stretched, the tendons stick out lol(edited)

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Someone told me I have piano fingers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

like i always think of my hands as the 'default,' because I see them the most but really there is much variation

deo has nice hands

look elegant

shadows hands look a lot like the rest of her :0

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Whhhhhhhhh

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

tall librarian

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

GJOXJPSLZLJZDXKXYOF

Yeah true XD

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

My nails are super long rn

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Holy shit the manicures

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I did it myself

Deo101 [Millennium]

thank U i have lovely hands that are big as fuck, and I can use as a ruler

because my pinky and thumb can stretch out exactly 10 inches

this cup is 10 inches tall

youre welcome

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I have stubby baby hands as well as double jointed fingers, so I'm very aware my hands aren't "average" looking. Yet if I don't pay attention, I tend to draw hands kind of like mine

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Hahahaha, Deo!!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

wow so useful i should measure my hands

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Me too tbh

Deo101 [Millennium]

I atually suggest it it comes in handy (ha) more than youd think

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i found a joint that measures exactly 1 inch and i use it so much

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah!!!

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Whoooooa

Mine goes 8 inches

Deo101 [Millennium]

my hands are fookin hyuge bro

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Wait

8.5

YEAH YOURS ARE GIANT

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

exactly 8 inches

omg your hands are huge

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Mine stretch out to just under 7.5 inches

Deo101 [Millennium]

in yalls defense I also have ehlers danlos so theyre probably stretching more than yours too

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I have smol hands because I am smol

Deo101 [Millennium]

tiney

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yus

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

surprised shadow managed to find a way to measure in inches haha

Deo101 [Millennium]

she said it wrong its actually 8.5 cm

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

8.5 inches

I used a ruler

In cm it’s 21

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

she said it wrong its actually 8.5 cm

hm maybe that's why she thinks hands are hard to draw

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

LMHfhgzmzjKfhl

Deo101 [Millennium]

because she has tiny baby hands and can barely hold the pencil... yes

its all coming together

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

I will slap y’all with my tiny baby doll hands

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i'm learning so much about you all today

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Now you see my pain

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

o h wait do you play music crona?

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Uh... Not really. I've messed around on the piano, and failed at playing the French horn

Deo101 [Millennium]

LMAO

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Playing instruments is hard for smol hands

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

rip

Feather J. Fern

My tiny hands compared to my pen XD

Also I took the picture close up and at an angle so not cone cna make fun of my writsts which are narrower than my computer mouse

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

my wrists are also narrower than my mouse, and my mouse is pretty small

Deo101 [Millennium]

mine's about the same as my mouse

Feather J. Fern

Yeah I got a pretty small mouse too, I been told by people to eat more becuase of my wrists (It's an Asian thing apparently) and I'm like "First of all rude, second of all my health is not any of your concern random lady on the street"

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

yup

Tiny wrist solidarity!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Solidarity!

varethane

I don't have especially thin wrists but my hands are lowkey shaped pretty oddly. I only posted a photo of my hand petting a cat to FB and got a lot of comments like 'cute cat but what's with that hand????'

(it did look pretty weird from that angle. Like a noodle with a couple of noodlefingers at the end)

spacerocketbunny

Oh no Vare ;;;;;3;;;;;;;;;

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

[hellyeahheroes]

My (Many)Problems with Damian Wayne

Rape tw

I will be upfront and say that I have never liked Damian Wayne from the jump. The idea that Batman has a son through rape(and yes, it is rape to drug someone and then sexually assault them) and he was forced to take care of the little asshole never sat well with me. But as a character, I hate little shit asshole characters especially the ones that Grant Morrison creates as this edgy jerk, but their jerkiness is somehow endearing when it is really not like his other detestable creation Quentin Quire.

Now I am coming around to the idea that every character can be redeemed from a baseline standpoint, but Damian sits in the category for me as characters that were fucked from the jump right next to Cindy Moon and Alpha. These are characters that should be scrapped and rebuilt. Just throw the whole fucking character away, sis, and start over. You can’t develop a character if everything he is supposed to convey and represent was completely misplaced. Let me explain what I mean.

What is the point of Robin? Robin is a vehicle for kids to feel apart of Batman. Batman is cool so why not give him a kid sidekick. And each of these kid sidekicks were relatable. Dick Grayson was from a family of Romani acrobats that traveled in a circus which got on the wrong side of Gotham gangsters. Jason Todd was a street urchin. Tim Drake is fan of Batman who had parents involved in his life who were the same social class as Bruce so Tim trained himself to be the next Robin(a bit on the nose). 

The only Robins that are outliers to the relatable rule are Stephanie(who was created to be killed anyways) and Damian.

Damian is the son of Batman via rape. His entire purpose was concocted through an eugenics experiment by Ra’s Al Ghul because Batman’s genes and heritage and other physical traits were seen as desirable so Ra’s raised his daughter, Talia, to either lure Batman through seduction to produce a worthy heir. Damian never suffered nor never intentionally had to suffer in a way that was not part of his character building as being honed to be the leader of the League. He trained to be the greatest and made well aware of the fact that he will be the greatest because of his lineage through Ra’s Al Ghul and Batman, the greatest detective of all time as well as one of greatest mortal fighters in the world. There is nothing in the world that Damian could not have and everything was always available to him.Damian knows he is better than you could ever be and there is rarely a moment that he doesn’t remind you that he is not like the reader or any other ordinary person. 

Damian is not a character created in the same way that the other Robins were created. You, the reader, are not to allowed to relate to Damian. The appeal in Damian has little to do with appealing to kid readers, but a ton to do with relating to adult readers who are also parents or  people who regularly have to deal with kids, particularly bad kids.

Damian’s snotty attitude could have been applied to any of the other Robin’s(in fact, that was what Jason was supposed to be personality wise), but Damian’s personality is supposed to bring out the parent in Batman. When you read Morrison’s Batman and Robin, Damian is this know it all little brat while Dick represents the very patient adult who has to deal with this know it all little brat.When Batman interacts with Damian, he has to constantly admonish him or teach him from right or wrong which, let me get into for a little bit. Most parents do teach their child from right or wrong shit like not taking things from the store without purchasing them, but most do not have to tell their 8 year old that no, it is not alright to kill people which is a lesson that Damian sucks his teeth at.

Now you can sit there and say that is what makes him fun or whatever, but Batman is about a kid who lost his parents in a dark alleyway. I am sorry. They were not to lost. They were killed. Batman is about a kid who took his suffering and all of his pain and turned it into something positive so no one else has to be that kid whose parents were taken away from him. Dick Grayson understood this. Jason Todd did not understand and strayed from this.  Tim Drake understood this and tries his best to live up to Batman’s example. Cassandra Cain has taken life and understood how terrible murder was and lives her life trying to redeem herself. Damian is thematically against Batman as a concept.

And Damian sucks his teeth at it and sees it as a hindrance. And not in the same way that Jason does who was horrible killed by the Joker and then later learned that Batman let him live thus creating a sense of betrayal and abandonment. Damian just feels like it is easier to just kill people and right or wrong is irrelevant. There is no talking to a person who can’t fathom why murder might not be the modus operandi of a vigilante that regularly works with civilization. 

All of these things would be okay if Damian was not constantly being written as the heir to Batman or the next successor to Batman when for all intents and purposes, he is the least worthy of all Batman’s sidekicks and family. He is not from Gotham yet he deems that he should be it’s protector just because his father is? He is sneers his nose to being decent and good and is rather okay with keeping a blacksite of prisoners so he can interrogate and torture them. And god forbid you say Damian is ever wrong?

All in all, Damian does not want to learn or grow. He has been the same character for years and there is no development in his personality. And him unlearning to not be an assassin and not killing people seems like shit he should inherently know not to do and why it is wrong. Damian does not kill because his daddy told him not to. And yeah, he could learn a lesson, but honestly that lesson should not have to be learned in the first place for a character in the Batfamily. They should intrinsically know and have strong feelings against and somehow they make an exception for Damian.

Then there is identifying Damian as a person of color which...okay, I caught some heat when I called Damian white but the ambiguity of Damian’s and therefore Ra’s and Talia’s cultural heritages allows for writers to not actually address culture or race. Ra’s Al Ghul’s ambiguity whether he is ethnically Arabic, semitic, or both allows for an interpretation that he could be white and people generally are okay with that read as him and never discourages it. Talia is the same way and while Damian might were the clothes, and eat the food(yes, I know Damian likes Lebanese cuisine because it reminds him of home), but it is wholly on the writer to address his racial identity because of what the League of Assassins is. It is not like Simon Baz where his ethnic and therefore religious identity must be upheld because it is part of his core character or a Luke Cage where race and racial issues must be ascertained when writing his character or even Miles Morales. Damian is from a made up cult of based off the Middle Eastern Hashashin’s of the Crusades. That fantastical element allows the writer to have a brown character without actually relating to brown people. And that is even if writer or artists makes Damian Brown which is not too far out of the realm of possibility because again, Ra’s and Talia’s ambiguous ethnic identities allows for that possibility.

I know people hate reboots. But Damian should be rebooted. That is just my opinion of the character. Feel free to discuss.

@ubernegro

#Damian Wayne #robin #batman & robin #Batfamily #DC comics

[bd-steelyfam]

We've all heard of standswap. But what about standswap-dadswap?

//So the dads and the SS!dads switch places, huh? This is such an interesting scenario! Will they get along with each other? Will everything go haywire? Will sadness happen?

//I was only able to fit the stoplight trio here because I don't have time to properly make up characters for Emperor, Osiris, and Bastet. I also used their stand names for the unnamed standswap characters for a placeholder.

Steely Dan <=> Deacon Blues

Deacon and Terunosuke will get along very well because they relate to each other (both of them had pretty fucked up backstories and have to hide their real, more mature personality behind a childish attitude).

And the same could be said for Illuso. Both of them spent most of their childhood being lonely because of their stand powers.

When Illuso talks about his teammates (he calls them best friends to avoid suspicion), Deacon remembers his old friends back in his SDC days. He probably sees himself in Illuso and feels a little melancholic.

Deacon and Gwess can get along too, as they have to fake a smile and carefree personality to make everyone else not worry about them.

Unlike Dan who is pretty sarcastic and sassy, Deacon speaks more honestly, as he despises people who aren't direct and honest about their words.

Alright. Enough of the sad shit. Deacon and Terunosuke occasionally read books together and tell each other about their specific interest in comics (the former is into American hero comic books, and the latter is into mangas and light novels).

Deacon would probably at some point tell them about his adventure from 1989. Then Illuso sighs and comments, "Darn. Just like Padre."

He likes to show them his proud machinery and inventions to the three, which of course amuse them because of how absurd they work.

"What does this thing do?"

"Oh! This bad baby right here lets you read while you sleep, write while you sleep, and eat while you sleep!"

"Huh"

Deacon and Terunosuke are the ultimate short depressing smartass solidarity.

Meanwhile Dan and Deacon's kids? Eh... could maybe count.

His personality made him hard to get along with them, especially Velare. At first, he can hardly relate to them (his backstory is plain and nothing really gutwrenching happened to him, unlike theirs and their father's).

But then, after some time, they start to warm up to him. Behind his catty attitude, he is actually a pretty nice and caring person (even though it isn't really that obvious because of the way he generally acts).

Velare is going to get along with Dan first, because he is a pretty patient person and can handle his new dad's (?) unfamiliar attitude.

Tojiko is probably be slightly annoyed by how sassy and snarky Dan is. Dan would just comment on his chuuni behavior just to annoy him even further.

Since Dan is pretty good with cooking, Prada would sometimes watch him do the kitchen work (even though she's just more mesmerized by the way the stove fire dances around the pan). He would try teaching her how to make simple dishes, even though it's reduced to a pile of ash by the end of the day.

Of course, Dan cooks godlike food. Which somehow reminds them of their father's....

Rubber Soul <=> Yellow Temperance

Unlike the loud and obnoxious Rubber Soul, Yellow Temperance is generally a well-mannered and elegant man. This makes the three kids a little taken aback because they're not used to the quieter and nicer version of their dad.

Since Yellow is skilled in singing (and acting) and Akira is good at playing his electric guitar, they both spend a lot of time together! Akira would sometimes show Yellow how to use his guitar, and in return he teaches him how to sing properly.

Like Dan, everytime Hazamada becomes annoyed and acts like an ass to him, Yellow would do things like making sassy remarks to annoy him even further.

One time Anne asks Yellow about himself, and then he tells her about his bizarre adventure from Singapore. She replies, with a monotone voice, "Wow. I've been there with my father, ya know."

"Wait, really kid?"

"Yeah. Was kinda wild."

Yellow can cook pretty well, unlike Rubber who is absolutely not allowed to touch anything in the kitchen.

Because Yellow "disappeared" for twelve years, his kids are more than happy to see him back again. There were tears and laughter too. Even Surface is crying.

.....except the "him" is Rubber Soul, a greasier and more irritating version of their father. He has no choice but to tag along and act like him.

The stoic and serious Surface doesn't like Rubber Soul at first. His annoying way of talking hurts his ears, but because he's "their father" he just ignored it.

Like father, like son is the best sentence to convey Red and Rubber soul. They both are loud and act all cocky, which makes Surface's life a living hell.

SS!Anne is no different either. She is used to Yellow's calmer and more composed personality, which makes her a little suspicious. Whenever Rubber did or say something stupid, she would just shake her head and say, "Wow. Dad's job must've been weighing on him pretty hard, huh?"

Either way, the kids are very relieved to see their "father" back home safely without a scratch. If only it would last forever...

Devo the Cursed <=> Ebony Devil

From the surface, Devo and Ebony share similar traits. From their ungodly amount of scars to long hair, both of them look the same. Their personality isn't that different either.

...which surprised Vittorio at first.

Because Ebony was separated from his son years ago, he saw this as his chance to be a better father. He'll spend as much time as he can with him, as Vittorio and his long-lost kid looks the same to him.

Related, Ebony has poor eyesight and probably thought that Vittorio is his kid because of their resemblance.

Ebony, half-crying and started to take off his tough guy shield: "My son.... I am sorry for causing trouble for both your mother and you..... I promise to become a better father from now on."

Vittorio, eating an entire can of spray cheese: "What"

You know that clip of a wrestler that broke a claw machine's glass and gives all of it's toys to a crying kid? That's him.

Being dead in 1988 makes Ebony not familiar with things like video games, so Vittorio is more than delighted to show him things in his game and take him for a small walk around his hometown.

"What is this small screen that you can open and close like a book?"

"Dad that's a computer. Do you hit your head on the kitchen counter again?"

"Computer? But the last time I saw them, they look bigger and wider than this."

"Hold on a second"

The boy sometimes tell Ebony about his team (which he refers to as friends), and Ebony is somehow reminded of his old friends.

"There's this really cute girl that I like, but she's sickly and I'm afraid if I somehow hurt her unintentionally"

"Can relate."

They watch soccer games, eat outside, and Vittorio introduces Ebony to more things. Just classic father and son bonding time.

Unfortunately for Dolly, he never had the chance to properly memorize his father's looks and true nature. His mother just said that Ebony is a horrible and cruel murderer, which makes his first meeting with Devo not so wonderful.

Not seeing his father since he was two, Dolly just thought that Devo is actually his father and acts grouchy and all angry at him.

"I despise you. Mom told me that you were a very evil and violent man. You must've done something very bad for mom to have left you-"

"Vittorio I swear to FUCKING GOD IF THIS IS ABOUT THAT TIME I REFUSED TO BUY YOU A HAPPY KIDS MEAL I'M GOING TO CUT OFF THOSE UGLY BANGS OF YOURS."

Then Devo realizes he wasn't talking to Vittorio. Which pisses Dolly even more because he thinks his own father forgot his name.

"Vittorio? VITTORIO??!! OH, DID YOU GOT HOOKED UP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND THOUGHT THAT YOUR BASTARD KID'S NAME IS FATHER FUCKING VITTORIO??!! I'M DOLLY DAGGER!!"

"DID YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME INTO YOUR SHITTY MMO'S USERNAME LIKE YOU SAID LAST TIME??!!"

Then of course, they get along really slowly. Everytime Devo wanted to ask Dolly about what just happened, Dolly curtly replies, "I don't know!"

He then gives up just takes Dolly outside and spend some time together with him to make the kid satisfied.

Devo just rolls with whatever this kid wants.

And then Dolly becomes more softer acting around "his father", because he himself wanted to spend some time together with him after a long time.

"Sorry for yelling at you, dad."

".....whatever you say."

By the end of the day, Dolly feels content about "his father" being back in his life. Even though he doesn't show it directly, he just wishes that he won't be gone like last time...

//So now. Who do you think deserves the best father of the year award?

#sorry if I missed some points #this took two days to write because of how exhausted i am because of this vacation #jjba #standswap #haji.doc #askies #anon

[tearlessrain]

time to subject myself to Dracula: The Dark Prince, aka another bad movie starring another dude from black sails. this time with 100% less horny on main because my only real motivation for watching it is it truly looks to be a whole new caliber of horrible and I have to see it.

witness my standards for incomprehensibly bad movies being raised prohibitively high in every way imaginable under the cut

I seriously doubt that.

this was made in 2013 by the way, not 1994 as the graphic design of that logo might suggest

oh good, once again we’re opening with an exposition narrator. except this time it’s a woman and she has less vocal inflection and emotional investment than an amazon echo.

I feel like she’s gonna tell me to turn left in 800ft

it feels like a dragon age epilogue, but just. worse.

WE ARE WATCHING A TRULY HIGH QUALITY MOVIE TONIGHT MY FRIENDS

I can’t even describe how bad this is, you really need the sound. that’s where the true lack of quality shines through. siri’s depressed sister is talking about pre-vampire dracula’s epic feats in battle to more weird sepia dioramas and the dying soldiers sound like they hired muppets to voice them

HOLY WIG BATMAN

also this dude is obnoxiously jovial considering he’s supposed to be dracula, even if this is pre-vampire

oh no dracula’s advisors, who all wear black hooded robes and scowl ominously, have betrayed him and killed his wife, how unexpected

someone drew these, looked at them, and thought “yeah that’s good enough to go in the final movie”

the characters are speaking both english and what I assume is... romanian or something? transylvanian? it’s not spanish or welsh I can tell you that much. anyway there are no subtitles and also no rhyme or reason to which they’re speaking at any given time so I hope I’m not missing anything important. probably not.

so like... they killed his wife, yes. and he went on a murderfest in what appears to be a church in revenge, makes sense. now a dude who... I think maybe he’s supposed to be a priest or something? but he wasn’t speaking english so I can’t be sure, then a voice over said “I have killed for god, the hand that fought for him will now be turned against him” but I’m unclear on who was speaking. this movie is an absolute clusterfuck and we aren’t even five minutes in yet. this is still the prologue.

now zombie alexa claims dracula was cursed with immortality “in punishment for his defiance” but I’m still not sure... what defiance. he killed the dudes who murdered his wife and that’s somehow not okay despite his apparent status as a war hero, a designation that implies a LOT of killing has already happened?

fucking finally, the title screen. usually a prologue clarifies what a movie is about but I went in thinking I knew and now have absolutely no idea what I’m watching.

a carriage drawn by friesians is rolling through a misty forest with wolf howling sound bites playing at random in the background to vaguely urgent music, now this is what I’m here to see.

nevermind the carriage is too slow so they’re leaving it because that’s a thing people do (?????)

“Lady Arwen, we cannot delay”

seriously though everyone’s mumbling so much I can’t understand them much better than when they were speaking whatever the other language was

BOOTLEG XENA RIDES AGAIN

but this time she’s accompanied by esme. we don’t know who esme is yet either.

there she goes

and now the knights are being attacked by hilarious squeaky goblin things? who I guess are led by this power rangers villain with, again, an unintentionally hilarious voice. it’s like a bad batman impression.

with every minute that passes I become less certain of what I’m actually watching.

they’re looking for the “light bringer” and telepathically overseen by the world’s most halfassed lestat dracula

they’ve also got some random prisoners in a cage wagon

okay the prisoners are being taken to dracula’s castle and I’m sorry for such an image-heavy post but I NEED you to understand the community theater level of set design/quality we’re dealing with here

“what is that?” cardboard and mod podge is my guess

so far the only thing esme has done is fall off her horse and be knocked unconscious, and now a Roving Band of Misogynists has appeared to harass Bootleg Xena 3.0 in the most generic way possible (the words “what ‘ave we got ‘ere” accompanied by a chorus of malicious cackling and some whistles have been spoken)

oooh no the ringleader of the Roving Misogynists has been given a name, and it’s ~Lucien~. I have a horrible feeling that I’m about to bear witness to the worst romantic subplot in the history of cinema.

oh for... I thought at least bootleg xena 3.0 would be a Strong Female Character and fight them off, but she just rapped lucien on the head with her sword and then they stole her very important box and left as obnoxiously as they came

OH NO SHE’S ASKING TO GO WITH THEM, SOMEHOW THAT’S HER PLAN I THINK I’M RIGHT SHE’S GONNA HOOK UP WITH LUCIEN AND IT’S GOING TO BE HORRIBLE.

“trust me” she says to esme, who, wisely, obviously does not.

I appreciate the timely thunderclap every single time the castle comes on screen

who the fuck are you, did you wander onto the wrong movie set

nope okay they’re not gonna explain that shot at all we’re just moving on to a shot of a weird angel shadow doing slow flamenco moves on the ceiling while ominously gurgling, and the prisoners being led into the throne room

“what’s happening to us?” I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE SAME THING, PRISONER #3

oh never mind that guy from before wasn’t a priest, he is remfield, chancellor of this kingdom, which means the last scene he was in makes even less sense

AKSLDGHJFGAKDLFJGHKAJGHFDKLFDS;GJokay so. remfield introduced himself then said “I will see that your needs are tended to.” then dracula in his new white contacts gets up from his shadowy throne, circumnavigates the cluster of prisoners, sniffs them dramatically, and walks back to his throne. remfield then says, “come, I will see that your needs are tended to” because proofreading is for COWARDS

now remfield is... literally giving the prisoners a tour of the castle and going on the “oh you’re our guests and many pleasures and adventures await you” speech and somehow the prisoners are accepting this despite the fact that they were just carted in on a barred wagon in shackles and got sniffed by a bad alucard cosplayer. they have a fucking harpist.

seriously, who the fuck are you

she’s just been twirling around in the background of this entire scene for no discernible reason no matter what rooms they go into

what the hell am I watching

yeah they’re just going for that incredibly suspicious food and also seem weirdly okay with the ambient clusters of scantily clad lesbians no one will explain okay they deserve whatever happens to them

WHOA TITS apparently this movie is a different rating than I thought

remfield: the newcomers have settled in

dracula: I  d o n ‘ t  l i k e  s t r a n g e r s

then why pray tell have you brought them directly into your home in chains. I cannot stress enough how avoidable this situation was for you my dude

“just think sire, once the light bringer is in your possession no one need die again” “except those who defy me” [ominous chime as the angel shadow on the ceiling continues its sensuous flamenco dance]

meanwhile in the misty blue filter forest of eternal night, some guy in a tricorn finds a gold amulet that I think bootleg xena 3.0 dropped, and the power ranger villain rides menacingly in a random direction for a few seconds

I’m still waiting on whether this masterful display of cinematic calvinball has any cohesive story to it.

ah joy and we’re back to The Non-Adventures of Xena 3.0, Esme, and the Roving Misogynists

as an aside, I’m not calling her that just to be dumb, I’m calling her that because they still haven’t given her a name even though her sidekick got one in the first five minutes

they’ve opened the box and revealed... the light bringer, which is a wooden staff. because it is not shiny gold, the roving misogynists regard it with confounded disgrunglement and scoff at xena 3.0′s insistence that it can defeat dracula

these guys sound like what an eleven year old thinks gangs of ne’er-do-wells sound like. like cartoon weasels, if the weasels were also mediocre pirates who have heard of women, conceptually, but never seen one. like goblins in a pre-written D&D campaign run by a slightly overwhelmed first time DM.

HUR DUR WALKING STICK NOT TREASURE, WOMAN DUMB

it’s what cain used to slay abel, apparently. given that zombie alexa mentioned that dracula is the descendent of abel, this leaves us with the terrifying implication that someone did put at least some vestige of effort into writing this movie.

oh good she’s finally gonna fight lucien

no she failed again. please someone just punch the shit out of lucien so he’ll stop.

NO WHY ARE YOU MAKING OUT STOP IT GOD HAVE SOME STANDARDS WOMAN. STOP PLAYING FLOATY ROMANTIC MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND THEY ARE LITERALLY STILL STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ENTIRE BAND OF ROVING MISOGYNISTS

I thought it might at least be a trick but no she is actually, genuinely starstruck over this profoundly mediocre olde-timey frat boy who called her “sweetheart” while she was trying to explain to him why the ancient dracula-defeating relic was important.

this guy.

we did it boys, we found a worse love story than twilight

also I just. I wish I could convey with words the way the roving misogynists react to every single thing lucien and sometimes xena 3.0 says like the world’s worst greek chorus in a literally neverending stream

lucien (post makeout and xena 3.0 explaining again that the relic is ancient and powerful and they’ve searched for ages to find it): well we may not be knights but we can respect that

[cacophony of rowdy but understated agreement]

lucien: what do you think boys, should we give it back?

[assorted grumbles of assent]

xena 3.0: hm, a thief with a conscience

[gruff mercenary-esque chuckling]

lucien: maybe even a heart

[chorus of “ooooooOOOooh”s and some whistles]

it just goes on like that in every scene they happen to be physically adjacent to, they never shut up but also never actually contribute or say anything meaningful

ah, the mysterious leonardo has appeared. I think he was the one they were trying to take the light bringer to so that’s handy

“what is happening here? what is this flirtation?? is this the people to share your sacred secrets with???” - leonardo, the only remotely rational person in the entire movie

oh he is schooling these idiots, finally someone with sense. it’s bouncing right off of lucien, but at least he’s saying it.

“the scourge” - leonardo

“scourge!” “scourge!?” “scourge?” “hrgghhg??” “hrrm...” - the roving misogynists

power ranger villain and his squeaking goblins vs leonardo, the most useless female leads of all time, and the roving misogynists. who will win.

not the people watching this movie, I can tell you that much.

oh no, the lightbringer isn’t working. this will do nothing to convince the roving misogynists that it isn’t a walking stick

oop, wilhelm scream

oh no lucien has picked up the light bringer

goddamn it he’s the chosen one isn’t he

yep he activated the stick and now we all have to suffer

oh xena 3.0′s coming for power ranger villain maybe she’ll actually do something

nope she bounced off him and now he’s grabbed her and hauled her onto his horse

“you’re coming with me” he says in his weird batman voice, to make sure the audience can tell that he is in fact taking her with him

and esme has yelled “no” to make sure we remember that she’s in the movie

wait what the. did lucien just yell “xena” is that her actual name what the fuck. what the fuck. I had to have misheard that. okay I can’t tell what he’s saying for sure but someone’s bound to say her name again at some point in the movie so I’ll revisit that.

and on that note, I think I’ll end here, because there ended up being a LOT more to unpack in this movie than I expected, it’s after midnight, and I’m tired.

tomorrow, we follow lucien as he presumably goes to save some lady he wildly disrespected and then made out with one time whose name may or may not actually be xena, and hopefully figure out what the hell is even going on with dracula, remfield, and their castle full of artfully strewn half naked harpist lesbians and dancing ceiling shadows. because right now I really don’t have time to unpack all that, and I have a feeling it will only get worse.

#this is #a masterpiece #no description of mine can hope to do it justice #hypnotically incomprehensible #tearless liveblogs