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queers-gambit · 2 years

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Tears in the Rain

prompt: feelings are confessed and a decision is made; the only thing left to do is heal and be okay.

pairing: Eddie Munson x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Stranger Things

word count: 8.4k

note: Eddie's 19, reader's 18+, and Chrissy's 17-18 years old. and yes - The Book of Unholy Mischief was published in 2008, but i still use a quote from it, oh well - roll with it!

warnings: Hanahaki Disease AU, cursing, unrequited love, y'all know the drill - angst! hospitals, and minor description of surgical procedure. again - angst! please proceed with maturity and caution. is this a happy ending? depends on your mental state idk anymore. ✅ no spoilers

other Eddie Munson Hanahaki Disease fics: Cherry Blossom Colored Kisses Gone with the Sin

It started in the 8th grade, spitting out bits of petals and scraping them off your tongue when nobody was looking; subtly wiping your hands on your jeans and pretending you hadn't. Your child's mind was overwhelmed and confused by the sight but figured it had to be normal, never asking any questions, because who would ever believe your symptoms?

You kept this secret to yourself like you did many others, never sharing with anyone the pain that was slowly creeping through your veins. You didn't even tell him - the boy who made your heart race and palms get sweaty. The boy who made your mind go blank and simultaneously race with thought. He's been your friend since the 1st grade, best friend since 3rd, you thought you could share anything, but after the talent show in 7th grade and you saw the way he was held hostage in his seat while watching Chrissy Cunningham do her cheer routine, you knew things couldn't stay the same.

His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly agape, and it was the first of many star-struck looks Eddie would give the strawberry blonde. A look you'll come to understand would never be directed at you.

Everything around you was changing but you refused to be left behind, so, you changed with the times; you changed with your friend. Your hair was cropped short as his grew out in unruly curls; you wore black almost everyday (like he did), you might've even learned how to play guitar so you two could have another bonding experience, and you even joined his stupid fucking Hellfire Club because you thought you could impress him with your Dungeons and Dragons knowledge that you didn't spend all summer studying over.

When you got to high school, your symptoms changed - just like you did. It wasn't fair, but you never tried to fix what was wrong; Nancy Wheeler spending hours with you in the library as you feigned a personal project you needed to research, searching for any solution. Your friend didn't know you found answers the summer before high school, the summer puberty hit you like a bullet train; the summer everything changed.

You knew something was terribly and fatally wrong yet never bothered to fix it, because why bother putting forth effort into an inevitable end? Your options were limited and neither sounded better than the last.

Option One: you succumb to your symptoms and suffocate. Two: you got a surgery to remove the blooms growing in your lungs - but it would in turn take away all known thought and memory of your beloved. And Option Three: confess your feelings and pray to any and every known God, Goddess, Deity that he would return them.

However, you worried that if he did return your affections - whether he verbalized them or not - you wouldn't be in this predicament to begin with. So, you sucked it up and kept quiet because having him as just a friend was better than forgetting him, or losing his friendship. You were never good being alone but found being alone with him was better than being by yourself. You chose to remain strong and silent, despite the way you withered away inside; you chose to stay close, even though his proximity made your heart crack. You chose to borderline torture yourself because you knew walking away would take more bravery than sticking around.

But in the words of Ellie Newmark, "Unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before."

You positively refused to turn "bitter and mean", so, you plastered a smile on your face and never gave anyone reason to think anything could be wrong. You never thought there'd be anyone after him, because you were enamored with everything he did and the very idea of being in love with anyone except him drove your heart into your throat. The idea was unimaginable.

The first semester of high school, your chest got heavier with meat but also pressure, causing a terrible tightness that left you feeling as if you were breathing through a sauna; your lungs constricted with tendrils of prickling pain, and soon, those bits of petals were fully intact, giving you first sight to what was being hacked out of your body - white chrysanthemums.

After a bit of research, you discovered these particular flowers were used in European funeral bouquets - but not many others. You discovered white chrysanthemums were a symbol of death, grief, and mourning in some Asian cultures, and it did little to quell the worry in your chest.

Yet, how oddly beautiful to suffer through this; where your own body betrayed you but produce something pure, innocent even, despite being slathered with a halo of tacky blood.

However, you feared life without him and even if it meant your heart would permanently weep, you would sign yourself up for a lifetime of pain if it meant he stayed close. If it meant he stayed in your life. If his hand would continue to hold yours. If his smile would grace your sight, if those pillowy lips would form precious nicknames that always made you feel on top of the world.

You'd mourn yourself, in order to preserve and celebrate all he was.

For years, you persevered through the unimaginable pain in body and mind, and for years, you and he grew closer than ever before. In the 10th grade, things changed again - but this was only because you caught yourself about to confess your feelings for Edward Munson. Panic-inducing fear halted the words before they could slip out, and instead, it caused a violent coughing attack.

One so intense that it made you turn away from Eddie and get back in your father's car, driving away from his trailer as your palm was slathered in a slick, sticky mixture of blood and limp white petals.

You felt immense guilt when you glanced in the rearview mirror, Eddie's shocked, confused, and concerned figure standing on his porch - watching you drive away, and wondering what had gone wrong. You two had been smoking, sure, but Eddie often thought that you could smoke him under any table, any day. Maybe he had indulged you too much, and maybe your lungs and throat were going raw from it all - spurring a bud of guilt to sprout in Eddie's gut.

He didn't let you smoke going forward.

You accepted the new limitation because you couldn't handle telling him the truth. You chose to suffer for him, you chose to remain close and depend on him more than you should've. It became increasingly painful to live through your days, and to your heart-stopping fear, the pain was tenfold when you were nearest Eddie.

Eddie, who was oblivious to your pain.

Eddie, who couldn't pick up a fucking hint.

Eddie, who you've been in love with since you were a kid.

Eddie, who you spent every birthday and holiday with.

Eddie, who only ever wanted the pretty, popular head cheerleader... And not you.

Still, his friendship was better than nothing at all and you dealt with the staggering pain that soon left your limbs weak. Surely, the pain of losing him wouldn't match the pain you had now, so, you stuck it out.

You and Eddie hung out every weekend. You went to his shows at The Hideout, you helped him do his homework and study. You defended him against bullies, you'd wipe his tears, hold his hand through tattoos, you brought him new customers to up-charge his drug sales. You loved him, and you did what you could to show that without needing to verbalize it.

You laughed with him, cried, watched movies; went to concerts, checked out books in the library on how to fix automobiles to help him tune up his van. You remembered his Uncle Wayne's birthday and got him a new mug each year, you taught Eddie how to bake, you both would raid the music store and spend his drug money - and he'd always buy you a new record, even if it "wasn't real music".

Because that's what best friends did - they loved each other unconditionally.

And for years, you'd watch him stare after the pretty captain of the cheer team; her oblivious to his staring and him oblivious to yours. It was like a never-ending circle, watching the three of you idiots tiptoe around feelings and truth. Yet Eddie was focused on what was in front of him in the form of Chrissy, never bothering to ever check to see what was behind him - in the form of you.

Because you were always there. A constant presence tethered to his soul, forever being a safety net during the times he pushes himself too far.

The stake in your heart drove deeper when he'd ask your opinion on his hair - wondering if Chrissy would notice the trimmed dead ends (like you did). He'd ask you what flower was your favorite, because he wanted to impress the pretty strawberry blonde with a pretty bouquet. He asked you for a mixtape of your favorite love songs - learning a few of them on his guitar in the hopes of serenading the girl who you'd never be.

Thing was, Eddie was the only constant in your life and you felt it was impossible to walk away from him; some kind of chain keeping you from ever wondering too far. He was there from Day One, never leaving your side, and always knowing when something was wrong - until now.

When your symptoms graduated to coughing out blood daily, he didn't notice. When your chest was ready to cave in, making your breaths ragged and wheezy, he didn't notice. When your eyes became dull and lifeless due to the consistent pain that didn't let you rest through the night, he didn't notice.

What he did notice, was how Chrissy Cunningham was paying him slightly more attention since she and Jason Carver broke up. He noticed when her hair was different, he'd rave about how good she looked in the color green, gush to you in excitement when Mr. Lang had assigned them as project partners, and how Chrissy told him how funny she thought he was.

And the first day they decided to hang out together outside of educational purposes was the day you coughed out a full bloom. Floating on the surface of the water plugged in your bathroom sink was a white chrysanthemum, speckled in bright red blood; a string of red-stained saliva dripping from your mouth as you stared in shock. The face scrub popped lightly on your cheeks and fingertips, but your skincare routine was forgotten as you registered the newest symptom change.

This was new, this was much more painful. The usually beautiful flowers slowly grew in your lungs, sprouting thorns the longer you fought against your feels - refusing to admit defeat, and confess your deepest, longest kept secret.

For the following days, you were excusing yourself every single class period to retch into a toilet bowl, the blooms now sopping wet from your blood due to the shredded rawness of your throat and lungs.

Eddie didn't notice because Chrissy's perfume was still in his nostrils. Her swaying ponytail still behind his eyes. Her beaming smile painted in his mind, and fingers tingling from the ghostly memory of her hand in his.

Thorns sliced your throat, stabbed your tongue, and shredded the inside of your cheeks when you tried to spit them out as quick as possible. It was like your blood was made of glue, keeping the blooms and thorns stuck to your mouth and lips - no matter how your river of tears tried to wash them away. Or how your sobbing breath tried to force them out into the toilet - they just wouldn't budge.

Petals and flowers and thorns stuck to you, like your love for Eddie.

And Eddie didn't notice because Chrissy was wearing that skirt today, and he was telling you all about how beautiful she was instead of focusing on spending quality time with you; instead of noticing how you visibly shrunk into yourself in an effort to quell the pain throbbing in your chest and head, in an effort to block out the pain of hearing the boy you love gush about the girl he loves.

Breathing became harder, as if something were blocking your lungs. Blocking the passageway air needed to travel; blocking you out of your life. It took a physical toll; color of your eyes dulling, hair drying of any moisture, bones protruding from the harsh symptoms that refused to ease in severity. You felt fear for the first time since the 8th grade and this had all first started; trying to weigh your options over what to do.

Three options...

Eddie didn't notice your turmoil to make a decision because Chrissy agreed to a date with him.

Before you know it - years have passed since your first indication of symptoms. You prayed for deliverance, but God couldn't hear you through your gargled cries; coughing petals and blooms out between blobs of thick clots. Your pillow cases were all soiled, yet you couldn't replace them - it was futile with the way blood shot from your mouth and nose. You ran through tissues more than tampons, and your bedroom became something akin to a hospice room.

Eddie didn't notice when you dulled of life.

Being as you were now seniors, you figured showing up at Eddie's trailer in the middle of the night wasn't totally weird. After all, you both had sought refuge with the other since before you really understood what friendship meant. With worry and fear dropping your heart to your feet from the weight of your panic, you hopped in your beat up Toyota and drove through town to reach Eddie's home; used tissues scattered across the passenger seat - all saturated with blooming drops of blood.

You had no idea how to explain what was happening, but you needed to tell him. You needed help, and if there was a chance all of this could be over if you just told him the truth, you were willing to let down your walls. Eddie had always told you he'd do anything to help you, and you just banged your hands on the steering wheel as you tried to rid the idea from your mind that that, too, had changed.

When you got to Eddie's front door, the lights were on and you prayed he'd answer despite the late hour. You knocked, waited; knocked again, waited some more. After 4 minutes, you were pounding at his front door until it was shoved open - forcing you back a step - and to your horror, there stood Chrissy Cunningham... In Eddie's favorite Metallica shirt.

And only his shirt.

"Oh, hey," Chrissy smiles awkwardly, shifting her weight over her feet. Her shining strawberry blonde hair is strung off her neck in a messy bun that makes her look fucking ethereal. "Um, Eddie's in the shower... Do you want me to go get him for you?"

But the small blemish poking out from the collar of the shirt she wore made you shake your head through tears; trying to offer a small smile. "No, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I-I didn't mean to interrupt. Shit, my bad, Chrissy," you backed away down the stairs, needing to use the railing to save yourself from falling over.

"You weren't," she assured. "We were, um... Done. H-He's in the shower, why don't you come in?" Her brows pulled together as if a string was threaded between them, offering sweetly, "I was gonna make some tea, do you want some? We could, um, hang out? Until he's out of the shower, i-if you want?"

FUCK! You knew Eddie didn't have fucking tea, so, the sweetheart must've brought it with her and now, she's offering to make you some? God damn it. Why'd she have to be so nice!?

"Oh, yeah, um, no, no thanks, Chrissy, that's really nice of you, but it's really nothing. I should just get going, I'll talk to him later, um... H-Have a nice weekend, and I'm sorry, again."

"Are you sure? You look kinda upset - I don't think you should drive right now."

Eddie didn't notice - but one look from Chrissy Cunningham and she had. If your heart wasn't broken before, it was now.

You nodded despite the pain swelling in your chest, "Yeah, no, no I'm fine - I should've just called. It's not a big deal, I'm sorry again, um, good night, Chrissy, um, yeah - just, yeah, have a nice night."

She nodded, "You, too. I hope you feel better, I'll tell Eddie you stopped by."

You trusted that she would, returning home and with petals still sticking to your tongue, charged into your mother's room. She sat up in her bed in shock - late night shifts taking their toll and leaving her sleep deprived. This was her first weekend off in months, and you felt terrible for interrupting her, but you couldn't hold it in anymore.

You needed your mother. You needed her more than ever before because your fear was tangible, and you weren't ready to die.

See, thing is, your mother was borderline your best friend (besides Eddie, that is). She and your father had been high school sweethearts, married, and he died in a tragic car accident on the night your mother was going to tell him she was pregnant on their first wedding anniversary. She never dated, she never brought a man home, she only focused on you. When you got older, she figured she could work more and you were happy to support her; taking up more house chores to save her from any unnecessary stress.

It was just you and your mother... Until Eddie, then, he was a constant presences at your dinner table. He had his own Christmas stocking your mother knitted. His favorite snacks kept in a stocked up supply for whenever he chooses to visit. And you and your mother would spend an entire day baking a cake for his birthday before hosting a full meal for him and his Uncle Wayne.

Your mother never had an issue with doing any of that because she was grateful for Eddie being in your life. It made her feel as if you'd never be alone.

However, you now felt like a burden, but the moment your mother clocked your tears and trembling hands clutching bloody tissues, she was beckoning you to her chest and begging you to tell her what was wrong as she rocked you soothingly.

So, you confessed. Everything.

From that night in 7th grade when you saw Eddie mesmerized by Chrissy Cunningham for the first time. That being the night you coughed out petals... And how everything changed and got worse from there on, and you didn't understand what was wrong, why you were suffering.

You told her about how you were now coughing out the full thorny blooms, how the bleeding wouldn't stop; how the pain was festering, spreading, and suffocating your heart, mind, and soul.

You told her about tonight... What you saw... How nice the cheerleader had been, how you couldn't find it in your heart to hate her, and how you didn't know what to do anymore.

You told her how Eddie didn't notice anymore - he couldn't see you - because he could only see Chrissy, and it was slowly killing you.

It took all night to explain, and your mother sat you at the kitchen table. She made you hot tea and plated a few cookies - talking well through the night and into the morning. She wanted to understand everything and as the sun breached the horizon, she was encouraging you to tell Eddie how you felt after reading the same book you had that explained the disease you suffered from.

You told her she was crazy, but she begged you to at least try. She validated that you had the right idea in going to his trailer; she thought that you and Eddie had always been cute, that you'd make a great couple; and though your sense of style had changed again (after it didn't get Eddie's attention, like you'd hoped), she still thought you two complimented each other well. "You balance each other, my dove," she whispered. "Tell him. Please, for your own sake."

So, you bucked up the courage to tell him on Monday. You'd see him at school and couldn't back down, leaving it neutral grounds for you both to be honest and open in. Or, so you hoped.

That morning, you caught Eddie before he could enter the school and asked to talk to him. "Shit, I meant to call you, doll," he breathed, looking at you with concern. "Chrissy said you were upset and showed up at my door - are you okay? What was wrong? I'm sorry I wasn't there."

So, when Chrissy points it out, he pays attention. Instead, you just answered, "It's okay, I'm okay. Um, c-can we go talk? Privately?"

"Of course, yeah, c'mon," he agreed, leading you to the lesser-populated hallway to slip into the old drama classroom that now posed as the Hellfire Club room. Eddie sat on his throne but leaned forward on his knees to hold your hands as you took time to think over in your mind what you wanted to say.

"Eddie," you whispered. "I-I just really need to tell you something, and you have to promise not to hate me after."

He nodded, "I could never hate you, pretty girl, and you know you can tell me anything."

"Right," you sniffled. "Well, um, listen, I just want you to know that I-I value this friendship more than anything, and never want to jeopardize it..."

"Okay, now you're scaring me," Eddie chuckled. His hands squeezed yours, encouraging, "C'mon, sweetheart, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

You nodded, blurting, "I'm in love with you."

Only the silence stretched between you two like an oversized bubble of Hubba Bubba - popping as your words registered in his mind. His eyes just shot between both of yours, mouth opening to form a word before sighing and shaking his head. Panic and fear gripped your heart, lungs, and mind in a tighter vice than the white chrysanthemums' roots.

"You can't be," he finally whispered brokenly.

A record scratched in your head, "What?"

"You can't be in love with me," his head shook as he repeated his statement. "No, no, you - you can't be."

"Why can't I be? Is it that hard to imagine?"

"Because you're my best friend - you're supposed to be my best friend!" He looked spooked, startled, unsure, and like he was going to have an anxiety attack. "You can't be in love with me, you're just - no!"

"Well, I didn't exactly plan it."

"Just - stop!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop loving me!"

"You don't think I've tried!?"

"Try harder!"

"For fuck's sake, Eddie! You don't think this is hard enough?"

"Well, it'd be easier if you had some kind of restraint!" He snipped, wiping a hand down his mouth. "Shit, I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do about this?"

"I-I don't know!"

"Well, why tell me?"

You gulped, fearing telling him the truth now. Instead, you just whispered, "I-I take it you don't feel the same?"

"Shit, sweetheart," he sniffled, shaking his head, "y-you know I love you but... But no, I-I'm not in love with you."

You nod slowly, blinking even slower, "No?"

"I'm so sorry - fuck, God damn it."

"It's not your fault," you promised. "I-I didn't mean for this to happen, okay? I swear, I didn't want to do this, I never wanted things to change between us."

He nodded sadly, "I get that, I do, but I think I need time to think."

"Wait, what? Think about what, Eddie? L-Like - you need to think about us? You need time to think about us?" You squeaked, panic swelling. You started to cough lightly, that sticky feeling clogging your throat again.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Because I'm with Chrissy and I don't think she would like... This."

Now you understood... "So, because you're dating Chrissy, you can't be friends with me? We've been friends forever, Eddie, why does this have to change things?"

"Because you're in love with me! I didn't want you to be, you were supposed to be my friend. Just my friend!"

"I'm sorry it happened, but why does this mean we can't still be friends? I've dealt with it this long, I can go longer - "

"Because I'm in love with Chrissy, and can't do this to her! For fuck's sake, why'd you have to do this, huh? Why'd you have to fall in love with me right when I got a girlfriend - "

"It didn't just happen, Eddie, I've been in-love with you since middle school! But notice how we stayed friends! Please - please, we can stay friends, this doesn't have to change anything."

He shook his head, standing abruptly, "It changes everything. I gotta go - I just can't be here, I'm sorry."

"Eddie! Please! Wait, just wait, please, let me explain!" You begged, watching him flee the room; the door slamming in an echo around you and forcing the tears teetering in your waterline to fall pathetically. You felt your heart nailing you to the floor, tears falling numbly down your cheeks; hands shaking and coughing getting worse. Your hands finally found feeling again and rose, covering your mouth and nose to catch the splatter.

You hacked as your lungs shriveled to expel whatever clogged them, falling to your knees and needed to use two fingers to reach in the back of your throat to pull a full floral bloom out; blood dripping off of it and from your mouth to soak into the old, dingy carpet. The thorns pierced your finger pads when you rolled the short stem between them, the flower falling into the puddle of blood you'd spat out.

Stumbling to your feet, you kept a tissue in hand and covering your mouth; the material slowly saturating as you punched your mother's number in the outside payphone.

"Mom?" You begged into the receiver, wheezing and sobbing through the pain. Everything had changed, again. "I-I need you to take me to the hospital. Please, Mommy, i-it's hurts. 'S blood everywhere, an-and the pain - Mommy, please, it hurts so bad."

Your mother was pulling up in a skidding halt within 6 minutes. Her rubber tires burned over the pavement, slight smoke wafting into the air to indicate not just her speed, but her harsh stop when she saw your body bolting towards her.

From the side of the school, moments before the first bell rang, Robin Buckley and Nancy Wheeler watched you fully sprint for the car and how fast your mother pulled off, sharing an uneasy look before darting for the same payphone and calling Steve Harrington.

But they couldn't find you all over town, opting to wait at your house instead. They only waited for about an hour before your mother's car was pulling into the driveway.

"You gonna tell them?" Your mom muttered, smiling and waving at the three teenagers.

"Yeah," you whispered. "Doctors said keeping it a secret doesn't make it easier, right?"

She nodded, "For whatever it's worth, my dove, I think you're making the right decision. This took a lot of bravery, but you're going to get better, and you're going to feel better, too."

"I know," you whispered with a watery smile. "Just gonna suck until Thursday."

"I'll call the school, you're gonna be out for recovery for at least 2 weeks."

"Don't forget my post-op appointment," you nodded.

"Right," she agreed, opening her door and triggering you to follow suit. "Hey, kids," she beamed at your worried friends.

They greeted her politely (but enthusiastically) before she was excusing herself and heading for the house. It left you to stand before the three people, who, up until a few years ago, you wouldn't have imagined being real friends with.

Technically, you and Nancy Wheeler had been friends since before Eddie; Robin and Steve coming into your life through inter-dimensional circumstances before choosing to stick around.

"Are you okay?" Nancy asked first, looking the most worried. "We saw you running from school and thought something was wrong."

"So, you blew off school to stalk my house?" you teased lightly, trying to alleviate the pain settling on your heart after leaving the hospital.

"Exactly," Robin crossed her arms. "You ran like something was chasing you - we knew something was wrong. What is it? A-Are you okay? I mean, you looked pretty spooked, we were afraid something else came back - you know - "

"Okay, Robin, yeah," you chuckled lightly, interrupting her rapid words. "Um, I appreciate the concern, but it could've waited."

"Not when you've been acting funny for months now," Nancy shook her head. "Don't think we haven't noticed; you're skinnier, you look like you haven't slept in weeks, you carry tissues around like you're paid for it... What's up with you?"

"And I've clocked the constant nose bleeds," Steve nodded, arms folding against his chest. "Look, if something's going on, you're going to need friends through it, and we're willing to take on the job."

Your heart swelled slightly and you nodded, blinking quickly to keep the tears down. "Um, yeah... Yeah," you sniffled, looking up at them as the emotion couldn't be kept out of your voice, "something's going on, and um... I-I think I would like to tell you guys about it. Do you mind waiting in the backyard? I've gotta grab a book from inside, trust me, it can explain some things better than I can."

Nancy looked nervous as her fingers twisted together; Robin nodding before nudging her along. Steve shifted on his feet and dropped his arms, clearing his throat, "You sure?"

"Yeah," you nodded with a whisper. "Just hang tight."

He nodded with crinkled brows of concern, heading off behind the two girls as you bolted for the front door. Your mother was heard in her room, on the phone, and you dropped your school bag on your bed, snatched up the library book you checked out every year, and made for your backyard.

As kids, you and Nancy loved hanging out here because it was spacious, and your mother had a beautiful garden with patio furniture nestled amongst the greenery. At the white-washed table, Steve, Nancy, and Robin waited together, muttering quietly, and left you to take your seat.

Sighing, you opened the book and slid it forward; Nancy's hands darting to pick it up and read swiftly as you began your tale. After voicing everything to your mother, you had a better idea of how to word it all; starting with when you realized you had a crush on Eddie in the 5th grade, how it festered in middle school, and when you realized you'd only be friends - so, you kept it that way.

You told them about the tiny bits of torn up petals, then how they became intact. Next, you explained how things got worse for you; blooms being coughed out with blood, how Eddie crushed majorly on Chrissy, and then to how everything hit rock bottom.

You explained the petals changed into full blooms, sprouting thorns as you stuffed your feelings deeper inside your cracked heart. You explained the constant pain, the confusion, the sleeplessness, showed them the cuts on your lips and in your mouth; even picking a leftover petal from the inside of your cheek to prove your point.

Steve's hand deftly reached out to examine it.

You explained the mental anguish of loving someone who couldn't love you back; the anguish of being so close - yet so far; and the anguish of knowing you were being killed from the inside, out because you couldn't let go of your overwhelming feelings for Eddie 'the Freak' Munson.

Then... You told them about Chrissy and Eddie at his trailer when you went to tell him the truth. How you confided in your mother for the first time in years. How you were encouraged to tell Eddie - and how it royally backfired, which lead you to today.

To your decision.

To your appointment at the hospital that your mother bullied administration into giving you last minute.

To meeting the cardiothoracic surgeon that diagnosed you with, as the library book highlighted, Hanahaki Disease.

Steve had tears in his eyes; elbows bent on the tabletop to keep his folded hands in front of his mouth, like he was physically suppressing his emotion with the petal laid to the table. Robin stared at you the whole time, never once making you feel as if you were talking to thin air; brows crinkled and perked at appropriate moments, never interrupting.

Nancy had read the entire passage before slamming the book down and letting her tears fall. She listened intently as you explained to the three that you had to choose one of three options, and immediately after that, you told them you had come to a decision.

You'd made the appointment and you were to under the knife that Thursday before returning in two weeks for a post-op check-up that would ensure all of the blooms were cleared from your lungs. And after today, you had discovered the plants were creeping up your esophagus and if you waited, soon, it would kill you.

"Well, why're you upset?" Robin asked gently, reaching for your hand. "This is good, right? Y-You'll be cured!"

You nodded in agreement, but it was Nancy voicing, "She'll forget Eddie completely."

"What?" Steve asked, looking between you and Nancy urgently. "Are you serious?"

"It's the only contingency in exchange for my life," you nodded.

"You've been friends forever," he shook his head, leaning back. "No, I just - I can't believe him. He doesn't love you back? That's just bullshit - c'mon!"

"Steve - "

"No, seriously!" he cut Robin off, her hand tightening in mine. "We've all seen how he looks at you, how he behaves! It doesn't make sense, it's not possible. He's just scared," his head shook still, looking angry with pinched brows. "He's scared and he's not thinking."

"No, Stevie," you whispered, "he understands, and trust me, he doesn't feel the same. It's okay."

"You'll forget your best friend," Steve shook his head. "That's not okay."

"It's a small price to pay, right?"

Nancy nodded, "If it means you're out of pain, and you won't die, yeah, I'd say it's a reasonable price to pay."

You agreed, "It's gonna be okay, but I'll be in recovery until the surgeon okay's me to return to school and normal activity."

"Will you remember why you need the surgery?" Robin wondered.

"Apparently not," you shrugged.

For the next few days, you remained at home and prepared for your operation. Your mother worked extra shifts because she was taking Thursday through TBD in order to take care of you, and your friends visited you everyday.

Nobody spoke of Eddie, who had asked Robin that Wednesday where you were - only to receive a fierce glare and slammed locker in his face. Chrissy's brows furrowed at the aggression, worrying something was wrong with you if your friends were shunning Eddie. She reminded him of how upset you'd been when you showed up at his trailer, his mind flashing to when he found a bloodied white chrysanthemum in the Hellfire room after he left you when you confessed your feelings for him.

He knew that was why you showed up at his trailer that night, and his heart constricted as he grew cold in your absence. He had to admit, if you've had these feelings since middle school, you never let it interfere with your friendship and he was a fool for blowing up at you.

Could it really be that hard to love you? Was the idea that far fetched?

The day of your surgery, your mother and you pushed out of your front door at 4 am to make it to the hospital for pre-op; blood work; all the standard procedures that needed done before you were sliced open and roots carved out of your lungs. And to your honest shock? Steve Harrington was waiting on the street, leaning on his car, dressed in a pair of jeans and an old hoodie.

"What're you doing here?" You wondered, oblivious to your mother's knowing smirk.

Steve shrugged lightly, "Figured you'd want a familiar face around, and Nance and Robin have tests in school today - otherwise, they'd be here, too."

"'Too'?" You repeated with a soft smile.

"Yeah, well, I-I'd still be here," he nodded. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah," you breathed, nodding with a soft smile. "I think I'd really appreciate the, um..."

"Support? Comfort? Seeing my pretty face when you wake up from anesthesia?" He grinned.

"All of the above, Harrington, c'mon," you chuckled, waving him with you. In your mother's car, she kept conversation light as a distraction when your nerves flared the closer you drove to the hospital; the boy in the back doing his best to chime in charmingly. Steve was allowed to stay with you once in the pre-op procedure room (again, your mother bullied hospital admin into letting him stay), and cracked a few really poor jokes while needles were poked into your skin.

Medicine was administered, your hair stuffed into a surgical cap, vitals taken for a final time - and then it was time to go.

When you were wheeled away, Steve squeezed your hand and your mother kissed your forehead; both wishing you luck, reminding you of your brave decision, and sent you down the sterile hallway. While staring up at the blinding, florescent lights of the operating room, a gas mask was placed over your mouth and the anesthesiologist instructing you to count backward from ten... And your heart begged you to change your mind.

Begged you not to erase Eddie. Begged you to jump off that table.

But your mind told only your tongue to move, and you counted, "Ten."

Eddie's soft hair through your fingers, "Nine."

Eddie's stupid grin when he's showing you a new guitar riff he'd mastered, "Eight."

Eddie's laugh, "Seven."

The warmth of Eddie's hugs, "Six."

His hands holding your cheeks, thumbs sweeping to clear your tears as he would coo to you, trying to calm you down, "...Five..."

"She's out," the doctors nodded to one another; scalpels clinking over the sterile table, machines beeping to indicate vital readings, and rubber gloves snapped into place as your hospital gown was peeled away, and disinfecting betadine squirted over your skin.

Across town, in the hallways of Hawkins High, Eddie was pacing by your locker. He looked disheveled, not himself; confused and scared, by what Robin could judge.

"What're you doing here?" she shot venomously, using her hand to push his chest and force him back a step from your locker.

"Where is she?" he begged. "Please, Robin, I know she's hurt - I know I hurt her, but I have to talk to her an-and she hasn't been at school all week. Please - I have to talk to her."

She used your combination to open your locker and set the packet of missed work inside for her to pick up at the end of the day, sneering, "It's too late."

"No, it's not - "

"No, seriously, Eddie," she snapped, the locker slamming in an echo. "It's too late for you. She's let you go, time for you to do the same."

For two weeks, Eddie repeated the last words he'd said to you, how broken you looked when he said he didn't love you. The words you said to him, then how you weren't seen again, to that bloody flower he found, and how Robin, Nancy, and Steve were all giving him the cold shoulder. He thought over what went wrong and every single way he was going to make it up to you, because while he might be in love with Chrissy Cunningham, there was never replacing you - and he needed you.

Eddie needed you.

And his heart sunk to his stomach as he realized how bitter he's turned; shunning Chrissy, becoming testy, canceling Hellfire, and missing you to the point he was tugging his hair out of his scalp and chain smoking cigarettes.

Loving you was easy and maybe he's loved you longer than he's known - longer than he ever wanted to admit. But missing you was hard, and Eddie wasn't accustomed to it.

It was supposed to be easy between you two, but when you confessed your feelings, Eddie felt everything become messy and change. Eddie Munson wasn't very good with change. He missed your laugh, he missed your comfort, a few times he'd even looked up to his bed when he mastered a new guitar riff - and feeling his heart sink in disappointment when he only saw Chrissy.

Granted, she was smiling at him, but it wasn't your smile. Tears filled his eyes when he realized he spent every Friday with Chrissy, finding new ways to impress the cheerleader, and feeling crushed when he remembered he never needed to impress you. You were always proud of him, you always encouraged him, and with a single look, you could say more than ever opening your mouth.

Eddie needed you, and he had ruined any chance of loving you properly. But Edward Munson was stubborn and not willing to give up, not until you were beating him off with a stick. The two of you had been friends forever and he knew you had some fights, but one way or another, someone was always apologizing and together, you could move past the issue. So, until you were telling him to fuck off, he was going to try - because you had never given up on him.

Two weeks of nothing. Two weeks of your home's voicemail. Two weeks of nobody answering the front door. Two weeks of confusion, heartache, and stress. Two weeks of smoking packs of cigarettes, of snapping at Chrissy, of praying to a God he's never prayed to before.

When he saw you that Friday, Eddie's heart leapt into his throat and he gave a strangled gasp before sprinting across the carpark to make it to your side. You were surrounded by Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley, all three piling out of Steve Harrington's car - who now leaned on his driver's door, mid-conversation - and he thought you looked more beautiful than ever.

The weight you've lost had slowly built back up now that you weren't constantly vomiting. Your head had cleared, your heart feeling lighter than ever before, your veins racing with helium, and the bags under your eyes had cleared. In fact, your eyes looked clearer than they ever had, and your skin was practically glowing.

God did you look good.

Eddie panted your name, coming to a skidding halt as Steve pushed off his car and looked at you with worry.

Why would Harrington need to worry about you?

"Oh, uh, hi there?" you nodded at him, tugging your binder closer to your chest and sending a cautious look to Robin.

But Eddie's heart was in his throat, "I-I need to talk to you, please."

To his horror, you shook your head, "Um, I don't think we actually have anything to talk about."

"What? No, we have so much to discuss, please, I know I was a jackass and you don't deserve that - "

"Wait, hang on, I-I'm sorry. You don't understand, we don't have anything to talk about," you chuckled weakly, "because I don't know you."

Ice shot into Eddie's veins, stuttering, "W-What? Th-That's not funny, doll, don't joke like that."

You looked at Nancy for support, whispering in a small, panicked voice, "I don't know him, do I, Nance? I don't think I know him."

"No, honey," Nancy assured, smiling softly at you before glaring at Eddie. "He's just a classmate."

Eddie knew Nancy was protective of you but what the hell was going on? What kind of a sick prank was this? Look, Eddie knew he's pulled some mean jokes in his life but this? This wasn't mean, it was cruel, and he didn't find it funny in the least bit.

"What? No - what the hell are you guys talking about?" Eddie begged, looking between the four teenagers. "Sweetheart, it's me - it's Eddie. It's your Eddie, please, what do you mean you don't know me - what's going on? This isn't funny, sweetheart, please, okay? Look, we've known each other a decade, right, how can you - how can you not know me?"

"I'm really sorry, um... Eddie? Was it Eddie?"

His heart shattered, shards stinging as they were pumped through the rest of his body. "Sweetheart, no, please, I just... I'm so sorry, but this isn't funny - "

"Look, I'm really sorry, but this isn't a joke, I really don't know you," your head shook. "And I would remember someone I've known a decade - right?" You asked Nancy again, looking nervous. "I-I don't know him, but he knows me. Nancy, I-I don't understand, I don't know what's wrong. Is something wrong with me?"

"No, honey," she rushed to speak, sending Steve a pointed look when stress made your eyes shine. "You're okay, you're okay, it's okay."

"Okay, hey, hey, hey, okay," Steve stepped in, pushing Eddie back a few steps. "You need to back off, you're upsetting her."

"I'm upsetting her?" he repeated, tears collecting as his feet tried to plant against Steve's force. "She doesn't remember me - "

"Back off, dude," Steve warned.

"I'm really sorry," you called to him, genuine look of distorted pain over your face. "I'm sorry," you repeated to Robin and Nancy, "I-I don't know him, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I-I don't know what's wrong, I'm sorry - "

"Hey, hey, breathe, okay? It's all fine, it's all good, you're okay, I promise, just try to focus on breathing," Robin assured, hand rubbing circles over your back.

"No! Baby! You do know me!" Eddie begged over Steve's shoulder as Nancy turned you away. "Please! No! You know me, baby! Don't do this, please, please, I need you! Sweetheart - please! I need you, and I'm so sorry for what I said! Don't do this! No, please, I-I'm sorry!"

His heart glued itself back together just to shatter once again when Robin took your books to let your hands slap over your ears to block him out as Nancy directed you away - Steve still pushing Eddie back.

"Dude!" Steve snapped with anger coloring his iris' a darker shade, "You're fucking upsetting her!"

"Steve, please - "

"No," Steve shook his head. "You had your chance, and it's too late. Okay? Leave her alone, she doesn't remember and doesn't need you trying to 'remind' her when it's already done, dude. Okay? It's done."

"What the hell does that mean? Please, Steve, I need her - she's my best friend and I can fix this," Eddie begged.

Steve felt fleeting compassion for the other boy, seeing the distress and heartbreak over his face. Steve sighed, glancing back to see you being spoken to softly by Nancy and Robin, assuring you it was okay not to remember the boy with long hair, before turning to look into the eyes that had broken your heart on too many occasions.

"She doesn't remember because you were removed from her memory, Ed, you were just... All of you was removed from her, okay?" Steve sighed finally. "Look, it's hard to explain, but do yourself and her a favor?"

"Anything."

"Go to the library and look this up," he pulled a torn piece of paper from his pocket, handing it over. "It'll explain what was wrong, and you should hopefully be able to piece together why she can't remember you. Don't make this harder, all right? She's finally okay, and you were so sure you didn't want her that it's time for you to be okay without her, too. Don't do this to her, man, you get me?"

"What did I do?" Eddie whispered.

Steve gulped, shaking his head, "You couldn't love her back."

Eddie stood there, piece of paper clutched in his fingertips like the petal of a flower, as Steve turned and headed for you three girls. He lifted his arm to bring you in for a side hug, assuring you that it was okay not to remember - while Eddie stood there, like you had so many times, watching with tears and heartbreak in his eyes.

He didn't go to classes, he obsessively searched books for the Hanahaki Disease Steve told him about; finding his answers, and never finding peace. He had to live everyday watching you really bloom into your own person; becoming more radiant by the passing second, realizing he was draining you of your life before, and how there wouldn't ever be room for him with you now.

When you graduated with an acceptance to your first choice college, you returned home in your cap and gown with a giggling Robin and Nancy; planning on changing and getting ready to hit a few grad parties already. The girls were so excited that you were feeling (and looking) better now that they didn't want to waste anymore time and insisted you all hit a few parties. However, before you could hop up the stairs to your room, a large bouquet of flowers caught your attention.

Sat on your kitchen counter was a thick bouquet of white chrysanthemums. There was no note, no signature, but something in your gut twisted with knowledge. Your fingers reached out to gently stroke the petals before smiling lightly, leaning in to sniff them, and then turn for the stairs to rush up to your bedroom.

All the while across town, a long haired metalhead in a matching green cap and gown, tipped a bottle of Irish whiskey to his lips; a single stemmed white chrysanthemum rolled between his fingers; old polaroid photos scattered around his body on the floor, tears sliding down his cheeks, and regret echoing across his mind.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fics #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things season 4 #requests open

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jihyoruri · 10 months

Note

So since you put out the very generous offer of wowyn and other idols interaction I'd like to make a request please

It could also be snippets but I'd like to know how other idols first react to how different she is on and off stage

It could be any idol of your choice but i just wanna know you know for science 😏

(okay I decided to do winter shes a very important relationship when it comes to yn, this is also during eleven era so yn’s personality wasn’t really out there yet to the public.)

☆ NOT WHAT SHE WAS EXPECTING kim minjeong x wow!yn (little bit of jimin x reader)

minjeong let out a deep sigh and turned to jimin, “do you know yn form ive?”

jimin gave a pointed look, who doesn’t know yn?

“yes.” jimin responded, adjusting herself in her seat, “she’s aeri’s best friend.”

“yea, I know she’s aeri unnie’s best friend but we have never met her.” minjeong said, her voice filled with annoyance.

jimin furrowed her eyebrows at minjeong, confused on why the girl is so annoyed, “does it matter that we’ve never her?”

she short haired girl shifted uncomfortably, “no…” she trailed off. “it’s just I’m a little interested in her that’s all, and it sucks that aeri unnie hasn’t introduced her to us.”

now it was jimins turn to be uncomfortable, how does she tell minjeong that she’s interested in the girl that she’s interested in? how does she tell her that she knows why aeri hasn’t introduce yn to them yet?

minjeong spoke up again, “maybe I should just go up to her and ask her for her number, maybe I can take charge.”

jimin raised one of her eyebrows take charge?

“I mean it shouldn’t be that hard.” the girl continued. “she seems pretty easy and fragile.” winter said with a small smile, “I mean she was the cute one with the bow in eleven.”

Jimin looked at her like she has gone insane, “maybe you should just talk to aeri, ask her about it, you know?

“ask who about what?” both girls snap their head in the direction of the voice, only to see aeri and and figure behind her.

minjeong’s eyes widened when the girl comes from behind aeri, it was yn in all her glory.

her gaze trails yn, from her face, to her silver long chains on her neck to her crop that looks like it was straight out of a 2000s emo movie to her low rise jean skirt that’s topped with a belt with a gigantic star all the way down to her plat forms.

this is not what she was expecting.

“oh.” jimin got up from her seat, “nothing we were just talking about asking yizhuo what she wants for dinner, since you’re supposed to be sleeping at somi’s.”

she says walking towards the to girls, “which leads to me asking why are you here?”

“I forgot something.” aeri said before pointing to the door, “somi’s in the car, and yn decided to accompany me like the sweetheart she is.” she teases pinching yn’s cheek only for the taller girl to slap her hand away.

aeri laughed before heading to her room, “I’m just gonna get my thing quick.” she walks backwards and gives yn a pointed look before turning around.

when she left the room, jimin gestures for minjeong to get up.

“hi.” she says to you, “I’m jimin and this is minjeong.”

your gaze slowly scans both of the girls before answering.

“I know.”

both girls are stunted with how your voice sounds it’s a complete contrast to how it sounds when you’re singing it’s raspy.

“It’s nice to meet you both.” your gaze lingering on jimin for longer than minjeong would like.

so she speaks up.

“I really like eleven.” she says loudly.

she tenses when your eyes switch from jimin to her, “thank you, I really like your music.” you compliment back.

“thank you.” both girls say at the same time, minjeong giving jimin a small glare.

“okay!”

aeris voice gets all of your attention, “I have it.”

“next time, double check your things.” you tease the older girl, walking towards her.

“shut up.” she looks at jimin and minjeong, “I’ll try and call you guys later we’re going out to eat so you won’t hear from me.” she says.

“got it.” jimin says giving her a thumbs up.

you put your arm around aeri’s shoulder and start walking towards the door, “come on babe.” you say teasingly.

“bye guys.” aeri says and all you do is give them a nod.

minjeong watches from the window as you and aeri walk out into the night into a black car, who she’s guessing is somi’s.

maybe it’s gonna be harder than she thought.

#wow!yn #aespa x reader #yoo jimin x reader #kim minjeong x reader #winter x reader #karina x reader #lesserafim x reader #kim chaewon x reader #girl group imagines

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atxxzist · 11 months

Text

oh boy | c.s

summary: your curious heart that's full of adventure and knowledge; of what's out there beyond the space of your room and farmhouse, find it in a boy who not only open your eyes to the world around you, but also to a longing you didn't even know was there

pairing: choi san x f!reader

genre: farmboy!san, fluff, angst, suggestive

word count: 16.6k

(ao3) if you don't like lapslock

your father always told you it isn't good to venture out of the farm.

he said the world out there is too big, too dangerous, and too unpredictable; that a fragile and defenseless girl like you shouldn't hold an interest for something ugly that would only do harm in return, though you would say he's wrong.

because although you haven't seen it much for yourself, the few times that you did, along with the stories you've heard, you know that whatever stretches beyond the farmhouse and is sharing the same sky you're looking at, is something beautiful waiting to be explored--

the second you hear the front door slammed shut, you open your own, peeking your head out the empty hallway before grabbing your heels and tippy toeing down the stairs.

you watch your father's figure through the window until he disappears off into the distance, humming a tune under your breath and snapping on your heels, shortly met by the morning sun and the fall weather.

you skip in excitement all the way to manshik's cottage on the other side of the farmhouse, given it's harvest season, he probably needs help with the crops. if not, he might be able to take you to the river nearby to pick out a daisy.

"morning," you call out so sweetly, knuckles tapping his window and waiting for the old man to greet you with weary eyes the way he always does, honestly just blessed he has a heart of gold and haven't pulled the plug and rat you out for ruining his sleep a couple times a year.

a pair of arms pry the window open--arms that are no way in shape or form look like they belong to a seventy something year old man. and then you see his face, and manshik must've turned fifty years younger from the last time you saw him. that, or whoever this stranger is, have done something to manshik.

his expression is not much different from yours, just as equally perplexed and confused. you suppose knocking on someone's window when the sun is barely out does that.

"uhh... where's manshik?" you ask.

he cranks an eyebrow attractively, a couple seconds of silence passing before he answers.

"manshik?" he repeats.

"yes." you nod. "he lives here."

"oh, i'm not sure." you watch as he sits up and rub at his tired eye. "my father and i arrived just yesterday to replace the worker that used to work here."

replace? as in take over manshik permanently?

you wonder what could've possibly warrant the need for a replacement when manshik was perfect at his job and had always been a loyal worker to your father.

you offer an apology to the stranger for disrupting his sleep and begin making your way back to the house completely disheartened, occupying yourself with prepping breakfast until min wakes up and take over.

when you think of where manshik could be or what could've happened to him, death never even crosses your mind. but a nosy question thrown at min, and you find that the old man didn't get fired or quit--he had passed away a week ago, and you can't believe your father never said anything.

knowing the man he is, you don't expect much from him, but manshik's been with the family before you could even walk, you think you deserve to know something as big as his passing.

your father is so cruel.

"i hate him," you spit bitterly, glowering as you take a seat at the dining table.

min shoots you a look and shakes her head.

"miss, you know it's not good to say things like that."

you throw your arms up, as if preaching to someone higher to hear your pleads.

"but all he does is keep me locked up, never bothering to tell me anything. manshik was like family."

"i understand you were very close to him."

you only continue to sulk, knowing that ranting to your father's workers is as far as it'll go when it comes to releasing all the frustrations about your father.

"do you know where they'll be burying him?"

"i'm not sure, but it's most likely in the town nearby."

your eyes light up with something at that, only to be shot down just as quickly.

"can you take me there? so i can make an offering?"

"miss, you know i can't do that. if your father finds out i took you out of the farm, i will lose my job."

you groan in annoyance, arms crossed.

"so what now? i lose one of the only people who ever listened to me, and my father is just going to continue locking me up. i'm going to be bored to death!"

it might sound like a tantrum, but for a young girl who has been deprived of interactions all her life and forced to entertain herself with whatever she could find, it is very much a cause for concern.

"i heard the new workers have a son your age. maybe go and introduce yourself."

that was probably him back there, but they're new and you don't know them.

manshik's patience was also undefeatable and you're not sure if they will be able to tolerate you the way he did. so you don't, instead opting for cleaning around the house (though really, how much dirt can a lone girl like you make considering your father's never home) and making dinner.

there's not a single book on your shelves that hasn't been read and not a single skill taught that you haven't mastered, having lived in isolation so long, you spent most of it sticking your nose in your father's workers hobbies and interests and learning off of them.

but days passing by, awkward and silent dinings with your father one after another, you're officially bored.

you finally make your way out to the other side again one morning, figuring that if they're going to be here for a long time, you might as well get familiar with them.

as you're nearing, you can see a figure going through the apple trees and picking them out into a basket.

you wonder if it's the stranger from days ago, but the person hears your arrival first, turning around to prove you wrong.

"good morning," the older man greets you. he looks a lot younger than manshik, but definitely old enough to be your father.

"hi," you respond with a simple smile. "i heard my father got some new workers and i wanted to come by."

"ah! you must be the young miss!" he smiles in a return, something about him already so welcoming and you're glad for that.

you nod, curling your hands together in front of your dress.

"i'm y/n. what can i call you by, mister?"

"you may call me mr. choi, or anything you see fit, miss."

"mr. choi..." you mumble the name, making a note to yourself you will for sure remember it next time. "do you need any help?"

"oh, i couldn't do that to you, young miss."

you know you look absolutely nothing farm-ready with your dress and heels, but you're always willing to accommodate. manshik's said before that you are a great help.

"it's fine. i'd love to help! manshik, the farmer before you guys, taught me many things."

"oh, i can see he was very good at his job. pretty much everything is ready. they just need to be harvested and gathered."

"manshik was the best!" you praise once again, mr. choi acknowledging with another smile.

"well, miss, if you really insist, maybe you can help me with a couple baskets?"

"of course! but... just one thing." your facial changing from soft to serious. "you cannot tell my father i was here."

mr. choi squints before giving in with a quiet snicker.

"if you say so, miss. it will be very hard to catch up with your father anyways."

"thank you so much! i'll help with what i can, but i'll have to return soon for breakfast."

by the time you have to go back, you're happy to have filled two full baskets for mr. choi, telling him that if your father doesn't return early, you will probably show again somewhere in the afternoon.

you wash the dirts off your feet with the garden hose and shake off any leaves or remains that got on your dress before entering the house, with hyunjoo being the first to greet you as she's disinfecting the living room.

"did you go out to the field again?"

you hold the pair of heels by the hang of your fingers, stopping and answering her.

"of course i did."

she shakes her head, amused by the determination if anything.

"and how was it?"

"good! mr. choi was wonderful. i think we're going to become pretty close."

your father finished his meeting early yesterday so you weren't able to go back, unfortunately. but you have made sure to stay for breakfast this morning so you'll have more time at the field.

it's awfully quiet when you get there; not a soul in sight. but you notice that the apple trees are almost done with the exception of one that sits a lone basket at the foot, barely filled.

mr. choi was probably going through it when something came up.

you don't hesitate to take matters into your own hand, picking up the basket and continuing where it was left off, only managing to collect three apples in total when the sound of incoming footsteps behind alerts you.

"stop right there! who are you?"

you spin around tight-lipped and wide-eyed at the voice that doesn't belong to mr. choi, freezing momentarily as you just stare at the familiar boy in front of you, and it looks like he recognizes you as well.

"sorry..." you mutter, "i was just, uhm, i saw there was no one and thought maybe mr. choi went somewhere so i just wanted to help."

san raises an eyebrow, grateful it's not a thief or someone who happened to wander into the farm--just the girl from before who woke him up by banging on his window.

"my father is inside. i'm the one sweeping the field today."

"oh..." you nod slowly, just realizing you've never properly introduced yourself despite making possibly two of the worst first impressions already.

"i'm y/n." you hold out your free hand that isn't clutched to the basket. "my father owns the farm and i live on the other side." pointing with your chin to said direction.

"ah..." it dawns on him, accepting your greeting in return. "well, i'm san. choi san."

his hand is surprisingly soft and silky, not at all harsh like you expected considering the taxing work he does. he also has some very prominent features that sticks out in a good way, and you would be lying if you don't think he's kind of cute.

"makes sense as to why you're able to hop around the farm so easily," he adds and you're unsure if it's a jab, just that your cheeks turn bright red at the reminder of the first meeting.

"again, i'm sorry about that."

he dismisses it with a shake of his head.

"you're good. so, did you ever find out what happened to manshik?"

you nod once, looking down at the ground before you meet his eyes again.

"yeah, but i'd rather not talk about that right now."

he doesn't push any further, waiting until you speak again.

"so, what's the plan after?"

"well, we're going to sweep the crops with one of those machinery. the next couple of days is going to be a lot of physical labor--even more than picking apples."

he switches his gaze to the field of crops a few feet away; you snapping your head to follow.

"if you're planning on visiting the next couple of days, it might be harder to catch me or my father."

you digest the information, humming in understanding.

"no worries. sometimes my father doesn't attend meetings on the weekend so i most likely won't be able to come anyways."

san lets you finish off the last tree by yourself, having ran back inside the house to fetch something but is gone for a lot longer than he should.

only until you're almost done, do you hear your name from the distance and him running up to you again.

"me and my father would like to invite you for breakfast, if you don't mind."

you're no stranger to the cottage--how it looks on the outside or on the inside, manshik always having told you to treat it like it was your own. that whatever was his, was yours.

and despite not being the biggest enthusiast of the interior because it always gave away who lived here; everything mostly dusty or like it came straight from one of those old films you'd watch when there was nothing to do, you grew to appreciate it because it did felt like home.

but when you enter the cottage this time, you almost can't recognize it. a complete revamp, the white and brown is different, but also fitting in a way... and you think you can probably grow to like the more modern approach.

"good morning, miss," mr. choi calls out, and you send a greeting in return, observing as he move around the table to set up what looks like tea.

"would you like some soup, miss?"

you shake your head, quick to mimic san when he goes to take a seat at the table, occupying the one across from him.

"it's okay, i'll take some tea. i ate before i came here."

you're on your best behavior, hands curled together on your lap and watching the father-son duo with intrigued eyes as mr. choi places the bowl of soup in front of san, the younger boy proceeding to thank him with a smile.

dimples. you just noticed san has dimples when he smiles. how cute.

if anything, seeing how effortlessly the two interact and how genuinely happy they look around each other, it's beautiful but also disheartening because you don't remember the last time you even smiled in front of your father.

"your father goes out a lot?" mr. choi asks, finally settling down.

"he's always busy, and when he's not, he's usually in the office all day."

"that's understandable. he probably has a lot on his plate."

you know he has a lot of things to look after, but you don't know what that has to do with you. does being too busy justify confining your daughter and keeping her away from possibly discovering something much bigger?

san catches the indifferent look on you, but you're already moving the subject along.

"this rose tea is good," you say after tasting. "my father's cook, min, knows all about tea. i learned how to tell the difference between them from her."

mr. choi breaks out into an endearing smile.

"you are an interesting one, young miss."

you stay to help with the dishes and cleaning, feeling this is the most you can do for bothering the pair, before announcing your departure of the day.

san is even nice enough to walk you halfway, watching until you make it back to the house safely, your chest can't help but to feel strangely tight because you've lived with people twice your age for so long, it's relieving and nice to have a boy you might be able to share one or two common interest with.

the monday your father leaves for his meeting, you head out to the field again, picnic basket in one hand and walking until you spot a harvest truck along with the boy you're looking for.

"hi," your voice ring in san's ear, making him jump a little before losing himself shortly in your giggle.

"what's going on?" you ask, scanning the many boxes and baskets of produce sitting on the truck.

"just getting everything ready for tomorrow."

that's when you recall that usually after manshik was done harvesting, he would leave for a couple of days out of town to sell it at the local market.

you always asked every time if he could take you along, but he said it was too risky since the market is an hour away by driving and you had to be home before your father's return.

"to the town nearby, right?"

san nods, picking up a box of watermelons that was on the ground, packing it onto the truck and pushing to make space.

"that would be correct."

this is your chance to see another part of the world; what it's like outside of the farmhouse and there's no way you're letting it slip. even if denial takes you, it's worth a try, at least.

"can i come with?"

san snaps to you with those brows that you've seen on more than one occasion--honestly a look on him that is very attractive.

"i'd have to ask my father, since i heard that yours is a little tight."

you roll your eyes and scoff, attempting to come up with another way to convince him.

"i brought sugar cookies." you open the basket and pry one out, wiggling it in the air as san gives you a puzzling expression.

"i'm not taking any bribe--" he's cut off by the sweet tasting flavor of the cookie shoved in his mouth, the way his eyes swell erupting another giggle from you.

"this cookie is good." he takes it upon himself to finish the rest.

"it is."

"i'd still have to ask my father, though. he's out clearing the rest of the field, but you should have an answer by tomorrow morning. wake up extra early in case he says yes so you will have the time to get ready."

you bob your head like a hungry dog, just elevated at the possibility of getting the hell out of here for once.

"got it! i'll be back in the morning." you untangle the basket of cookies, handing it to him. "i made this for you and your father as a thank you for the breakfast yesterday."

he smile tenderly, accepting the offer.

"i'm gonna have to head back, so, see you in the morning tomorrow." you wave, already backing up. "thank you, san!"

he chuckles at the sight of you scuttling along the grasses and back into the house. you definitely are an interesting one.

your appearance is expected when he sees you skipping from a mile away until you stop next to him with heels digging the ground, chest leaned in and hands behind your back, speaking in a sweet tone, "so, what did your father say?"

he does a last once-over of everything on the truck before shutting off the back, head turning to you.

"he said you can come, but you'd have to return before the sun sets."

his words feeling as if you've finally been released as a prisoner, your feet all of a sudden jittery and unable to relax at the pure excitement, san even thinks you might burst any second.

"thank you thank you!"

you leap in for a hug without much thought, his body tensing at the sudden intimacy that makes him clear his throat, only staring dumbfoundedly as you pull away with a smile, emitting a floral scent that whisks past his nose.

"you're welcome," he replies, fighting a smaller smile of his own.

already thinking of what to bring to town, your face light up instantly at an idea.

"are you free right now, san?"

he presses his lips together and nods.

"i should be. we got pretty much everything. just waiting on my father."

"perfect. well then, would you like to accompany me to the river nearby?"

"oh? i didn't even know there was one."

"there is, let me show you!"

you snatch his wrist and he has to keep from tripping at how fast you're going, it must be some kind of skill to be able to do it in those heels.

when you insist to take the cruiser bike, he makes you get in the passenger seat instead, pointing out the directions for him as he cycles down the dirt road.

"keep your hold tight if you don't want to fall off," he mumbles from the front, with you following through as you practically suffocate his tiny waist, peeking your head out from his shoulders so you can tell him to turn left.

"you can stop here."

you fly off the bike immediately, not even bothering to wait for san to properly break. he can only snicker to himself watching as you skip to the open field of daisies with your bouncy dress that is a little too short.

"this place is beautiful," he comments, walking over as the plain grass brushes his legs, admiring the scenery of the river that sits in the middle of all the trees with the sun shining brightly behind it.

"isn't it?" you say in a high pitch, standing up and handing him a daisy that was picked out, but he just continues gawking, only giving in when you force it up his nose.

you pat and straighten the back of your skirt, sitting down to stare ahead at the view with san crouching into the same position.

"manshik would always take me here to pick out daisies," you say, prompting him to turn his head to your side profile.

"you seem very close to him."

"i was. he was like a father to me more than my actual father."

"you don't have a good relationship with your father?"

a deep sigh departs, combined with the drop of your chest.

"well how could i? he keeps me locked up in the farm like an animal. that's why i can't wait to get out of here."

"so you've never like... been out of the farm at all? not even to the forest or local places nearby?"

"i've been out before, to my knowledge. but that was when my mother was still alive and my father was nothing like the man he is now. i was also too young to remember anything. other than that, everything i know about the world outside the farm is from stories i've heard by my father's workers."

san's eyes grow into a mix of sympathy but also sadness, the thought of being confined to a single place your entire life and shut off from the world sounds like an absolute nightmare.

"sorry to hear..."

"it's fine. i've learned to work my way around it, which is why i'm always bothering you and your father, though manshik probably got it the worst."

he lets out a dry but genuine laughter.

"so really, thank you for this opportunity. i know i'm a handful."

"not at all. it is my pleasure. if you have anything in mind you'd like to do when you get there, let me know."

he smiles, gaze meeting your own when you finally turn to look at him.

"my father's cook, min, told me that manshik might have been buried in the town nearby. i came here because i wanted to pick out some daisies for his offering. do you think you can take me when we get there?" you wait for his answer, eyelashes blinking in anticipation.

"shouldn't be a problem. the town only has one gravesite."

"thank you so much, san. i really appreciate it!"

before leaving, you hurry back inside the house to get the last item on your list, bidding goodbyes to min and hyunjoo with a promise that you'll be back before your father's return in order to spare the two a heart attack.

the two older ladies unable to do anything else but sigh and shake their heads at the troublesome but understandable curiosity of yours.

you sit by the window, san squashed in middle of you and his father who's driving the truck.

within just the first fifteen minutes of the trip, he has to bite back an amused smile at how you ooh and ahh at even the dark and grimy forest that surrounds the area outside the farm, confirming you weren't exaggerating about the confinement.

"squirrel," you suddenly say, head out the window and butt off of your seat, san has to grab at your belt, afraid you really might fall off.

"there's plenty of them in town." he forces you back down. "now before you fly out."

you cross your arms and brush it off with a scoff, the excitement contained for a minute before catching a stream on the other side shielded by the rocks and trees, but the sound is evidence of its existence.

"that must flow back to the river," you comment.

"oh yeah, that makes sense," san agrees, the realization just hitting him.

he's never really paid much attention when commuting through the forest; not to the animals or the surrounding because he's seen many wildlife and passed many rivers and streams, it sometimes fly over his head.

the journey through the tall trees and sound of nature continues until you can see the light from the sun attempting to sneak through, eventually hitting a road that looks like it stretches out forever into nothingness.

mr. choi tells you that the forest didn't use to have a path that was easily accessible for traveling back and forth, so it either had to be done on foot or a much longer route needed to be taken in order to reach the other side. but over the last decade or so, it must had been a real hassle, a path was made.

"we're almost to the outskirt of town," san announces, and a few more silent strolls down the road, you can see a couple houses from the distance and some livestocks decorating the open field.

you're like a fish fresh out of water when the truck finally comes to a stop, amazed by the life and never-ending chitters around you that makes everything feel so alive.

"let's go," mr. choi says with a smile, san nodding his head in the direction of the door for you to open it.

your feet now on cement, nothing like the soils or grasses you're used to back at the farm, so it's different, but a good different.

"okay, enough of being in awe for now. we have to set up the stall first, then i'll take you around the town after," san's voice from behind takes you out of the fascination, along with the slamming of the car door.

"got it." you nod obediently, watching san run to the back to help mr. choi unload some of the boxes and baskets and then carrying it to the empty stall nearby.

you stand in spot, feeling completely useless and if you should help though your hands are full from clutching a book and bouquet of daisies.

seeing as they're coming back, you think about throwing the items into the car to make yourself useful when an unfamiliar voice kicks the thought out of your head.

"well well well, we haven't seen him in barely a couple of weeks, and he's already returned with a lover?"

you snap to the new arrivals, both of them settling to the left of you with the boy that had just spoken shooting a simple smile when he meets your gaze.

"she's not my lover," san replies, stopping in front of you three only to pry away to grab another box. "she's my boss's daughter."

"oh?" the other one says, you notice he's much taller than the first. "then your boss must've put a lot of trust in you if you're bringing her here."

san rolls his eyes and looks utterly annoyed, you've never seen him in that state before, it's almost humorous.

"what is your name, your majesty?" the first boy that spoke turns to you again.

"your majesty?" san repeats, the ridiculousness makes him want to roll his eyes once more. "will you guys stop yapping your mouth and help me and my dad out?"

"geez, so bossy you are," he sighs out but goes to help anyway with the other boy following behind.

after everything on the truck's been taken care of, you try to contain a giggle at the sight of all the men exhaling and trying to catch their breath, hands on their waist and all.

you wanted to help but they insisted they got it--as quoted by one of the new boy: "a proper lady like you shouldn't ever have to work hard."

"well, shit," the taller one says, being the first to get a word out of the bunch. "anyone up for a drink? heard the bar's having a deal today."

"i'm in." the other raises his hand. "this is also a perfect opportunity to introduce one another. we don't even know the pretty lady's name, yet."

"there will be no drinking and no learning about each other. y/n has to be back before the sun sets, and if you guys already can't see, me and father are a little busy."

"y/n... that's a pretty name," says the shorter boy. "okay, since san wants to be a major buzzkill, then maybe another time, your majesty?"

you nod at that, a smile on your lips.

"yeah, maybe another time." you hope.

the two goes off, waving until they can't anymore and disappearing out of sight.

"sorry, those are my idiot friends, also known as hongjoong and seonghwa."

you chuckle, shaking your head.

"no worries, they were fun."

and you were glad to see others who looks close to your age, swearing you'll never take that for granted given the circumstances you grew up with.

"i'll take you to the gravesite after this," san brings up, assuring he hasn't forgotten.

"so you're sure he was buried here?"

"again, it's only a might. but i can't think of anywhere else. if we can't find him, we'll just return back to the center."

"he didn't have any friends? families? do you know where he's from?"

"well..." you drag, at the same time attempting to catch up to san as he takes a big step up the hill. "he's never talked about it."

from your knowledge, manshik only left the farm for work, otherwise, he practically lived there. if he had friends or families, you don't know about them.

the man had a heart of gold, but he was a very mysterious person. you wish you would've asked more about him while he was alive because now thinking of it, you don't even know his last name--praying there doesn't happen to be another manshik at the site.

"we'll have to see," san says, coming to a stop at the top. "here it is. the only gravesite in the town."

it's rather small, with only a dark metal half-fence running around the entire site. you enter it first, glancing back at san, "can you help me look for his name?"

"of course."

you're careful to not knock into any other headstones, treading the area slowly to read each of the names.

"i think i found it," san calls from a few feet away, your head shooting up and hopping to where he is.

"cho manshik," you read the writing. "right! i think it was something like that."

if you think about it hard enough, digging into the deepest scrap of your memories, you could've swear manshik was a cho.

bending down on your knees, you place the bouquet of daisies in front of the headstone first before neatly adjusting the book next to it, closing your eyes to wish him a few words before getting up and bowing one last time.

"i hope i don't sound rude or anything, but why a book?" san asks on the trip back.

"that was manshik's favorite book," you answer with a proud smile. "he would always have me read it to him."

"ooh..." he sings, "what was it about?"

"a true love story. manshik loved those, but especially this one because the two main characters were able to overcome hardships because of love."

san hums, quirking his lips to the side. "interesting."

but he nearly crashes into you when you come to an abrupt stop, turning to him with a question dying to get out. the entire time all you've been talking about is yourself, you wish to learn more about him, too.

"tell me san, where are you from? do you have any other family members?"

he chuckles, those dimples making an appearance again, and san really is so handsome... especially up close.

"i'm from a village not too far from here, you can reach it by foot. as for your second question, yes. me and my father came to find work but on the occasion we do get time off, we return to the village to stay with my mother."

"ah..." you take in the new information. "that's where you guys will be staying for the next couple of days?"

he nods. "yes. it's much closer than the farm, and it's convenient."

you're already dreading the days to come knowing there won't be anything to kill time with, and also no farmboy your age to bother, all you can hope for is that it will pass quick enough.

when you don't say anything, he's the one to talk again.

"let's continue heading back. if you want to look around once we get there, feel free to. i'm gonna help my father in hopefully selling a few, then we can start getting ready to take you home. the sooner the better since it's an hour drive."

despite the few jewelry and book stores that catches your eye, you decide to help san and mr. choi instead, a choice that you're glad to have made.

getting to talk to people of all kinds and trying to persuade them is an experience like never before, it was hard to get back in the truck and wait for the return of your mundane life because the closer san gets to the forest, you know it's coming.

your arms are out the window with your chin resting on top, staring out at scene and dwelling in the breeze, head already in a daydream about the day you'll get to come back.

when san announces the arrival, you nearly groan out.

"we're here, your majesty." he pries the door open when there's no movements, leaving you with no choice but to step out of the truck like a sulky child.

"what's wrong? not so happy to come back to the farm?"

"i'll be happy to be anywhere else but the farm," you snark, to which he responds immediately with a sweet-sounding laughter.

"it won't be the last time," he tries assuring.

"i hope," you say sharply, a silence hanging in the air until a question takes over. "how long are you guys going to be staying in town again?"

"hmm..." his lips tremble in the process. "maybe three to four days? it really depends on the sales."

"oh," you mumble, "then, can you do me a favor?"

"yeah, sure."

"can you get me a new book? any book! or maybe two. i haven't read anything new in months since hyunjoo hasn't been bringing in any. and lastly, if you can also get me a new vase, that'd be appreciated. i will make sure to pay you back every penny if you do."

san smiles at the request and nods.

"i'd be happy to."

"thank you so much!" you squeal, jumping in to give him a hug again, the touch sparking something inside of san that makes his cheeks glow a bright red.

"yeah, you're welcome," he tries saying nonchalantly when drawing back, fortunate you're as equally clueless when it comes to love despite having read countless novels about it.

"i-i uhm, gotta head back before it gets darker."

"safe driving, san! and see you in three or four days!" you wave, observing until the very last moment you can no longer make out the truck through the forest trees.

you wish you could tell your father that he's wrong. that the stories you've heard from books, and from min and hyunjoo are true; the outside a big place full of mismatched people with all kinds of smiles and personalities--nothing cruel like your father said they are.

the world is also beautiful, so many more lands and acres to explore, your curious heart that yearns for adventure and knowledge also wants no more than to just be a part of that world.

you've lost count of how many times you'd peek out the window or run out with your heels the minute your father leaves, expecting to see the boy with his father in the field because they happened to return early.

every time, you're met with disappointment. no father or son in sight, just the swaying of grasses as the birds chirp and fly high above the other side.

on the fifth day, almost a week since you've seen them, the revving of an engine outside the window picks your head up from the book you're reading, looking out to see that familiar red truck coming from the forest, absolutely overjoyed that you nearly knock into hyunjoo on the way out.

"you guys are back!" you jump in pure ecstasy once the car is parked and san crawls out the door, an amused smile still on his face at the image of you running all the way to the other side still ingrained in his head.

you look so happy, wide smile on and all, it does something to his heart at the fact you were waiting for him (and his father) all this time. it's similar to coming home and knowing his mother is there. the feeling sure does feel nice.

"yeah," he responds, attempting to hold back a laughter this time, seeing you're not even wearing any shoes. just how excited were you?

"how did sales go?" you ask, waving back to mr. choi when he greets you from the other side before walking off into the cottage.

"took an additional day than predicted but we managed to sell out. that was only the first batch, though. we would need to return next week after clearing the field again."

only a second after, he immediately recognizes that mischievous look in your eyes, the way your face lights up with an idea.

"can i come again?" your voice drops into that overly sweet tone that makes him chuckle a little, unable to resist.

"i'm sure my father is fine with it, as long as we follow last time," he confirms, snapping his neck back to the car when the reminder floods in. "i almost forgot."

you observe as he digs into the car seat, coming back with his hands full, gasping under your breath because you literally forgot, mind entirely clouded by nothing but the return.

"i have no idea what these books are about, but i asked the lady at the front for some recommendation on romance and she gave me these."

he hands it to you before continuing, "also wasn't sure what kind of vase you had in mind so i just picked this one out."

you accept the white ceramic vase into your hold graciously, smiling up at him through your teeth.

"thank you, san! they are perfect!"

he watch as you admire the new items with a pretty smile on your lips, the sight all of a sudden making his cheeks heat up again... you always do this.

he does think you're so pretty, probably the prettiest thing he's seen in his life, always with your floral dresses and curled hair stuck in a bow.

but when you're so sweet and kind, the closer you get to him; touch him, it makes him feel a certain way... similar to the way he'd get when hongjoong or seonghwa would pass around photos of naked women they ripped off of cheap publications... it's like that but also something else.

"how much was it altogether?" your question rips him away from the thought and to your innocent blinking lashes.

"oh no, it's fine. take it as a gift."

he's surprise he even managed without stuttering, never thinking that the exchange would make him so tense and nervous in the first place.

you frown, shaking your head.

"i couldn't do that. not after what i made you go through. here, take this."

when you move everything over to one arm, his brows raises in confusion on what exactly you're going to do, only for his body to freeze on the spot at your free hand shoved in your bra for much too long before getting out a couple rolled-up dollars.

"got it!" you declare as if it's an achievement, gaze moving to him, "here."

he swallows the knot in his throat, accepting the offer with a simple thank, afraid that putting up a fight would be much worse.

"i'm gonna go put these items away first... and hopefully put on some shoes, too," you say, looking down at your dirty feet, the comment actually bringing a genuine smile out of san, "i'll be back."

he nods, eyes tracing your figure that grows farther away, staring at the dollars you gave him again... dollars that probably had been sitting in between your boobs all day--and, what the fuck is wrong with him.

sighing one last time, he decides to retreat to the cottage, because maybe his father might have something for him that will hopefully be able to distract the thoughts of you for now.

san is still as nice as ever; helping and guiding you, and always answering any questions you have. the only problem is, he's just been slightly distant.

if you're both walking out to the field, he's at least a feet away. and if he's teaching you how to trim or pick out the produce, he does so with a good amount of distance and care, almost if he's trying to avoid touching you.

it's not like you guys were super close before or even ever did things together in the proximity of each other for this long, but it does hurt a little that you're barely able to hold a conversation with him anymore.

you've yet to pick out daisies for the new vase so you figure you'll ask san to come with, and if there's anything to talk through, you'll do so at the river shielded by everything else.

mr. choi is alone on the field when passing by, informing you san's still in the house and you're thinking the situation can't be more perfect.

"hello?" you echo upon entrance, the door unlocked most of the time since there's little chance of anyone wandering into the farm.

silence.

you make way to san's room, hearing the running of water from the bathroom and concluding he's in there, you make yourself comfortable on the end of his bed, sitting on top his blanket and nosy eyes roaming the decorations.

it's simple and plain, not really anything reminiscing of a young adult male but you also realize he probably didn't have much say. that your father probably just threw out all of manshik's things and hauled someone else in for a quick renovation.

the sound of water stops at the same time you shift uncomfortably at what feels like something protruding under the blanket, hopping out of the seat to yank it with the revelation turning your entire face a deep red.

you're so flustered you don't even hear the bathroom door shutting and san walking into the room to see you just standing there dumbfoundedly, tracing your gaze to the few stacks of photos he had made sure to hide. photos hongjoong and seonghwa gave him.

he rushes over to pull the blanket back in its spot, cheeks now as red as yours, if not, even more.

"y/n, what are you doing in my room?" he tries holding his voice firm to keep from the embarrassment overtaking his system.

"i-i wanted to come by to ask if you can go with me to the river..." your volume is low, unable to read his expression whether he's angry or not. "and your dad told me you were still inside."

he exhales, running one hand through his hair. he don't mean to come off so irritated but he don't know how else to contain the situation. what exactly do you say to a girl who finds you with naked photos of other girls?

"you could've waited for me on the couch or something."

"sorry..." you stare at your feet. "it's okay if you can't go. you seem... busy."

san can almost choke at your choice of word. why would you say it like that? he shakes his head, attempting to keep the composure.

"no, i'll go with you. just let me change first."

the trip there is a lot less awkward than you had thought.

it's relaxing even, with how the breeze travels past your skin and swoops your hair as it dances in the wind. your hands clasped onto san's tiny waist for balance, and your head leaning on his back as he cycles along the dirt road.

when the destination is reached, you're quick to hop off racing to the open field, maybe to distract yourself from what just happened though bits of it still lingers in the back of your mind.

san is behind and taking his time, even more desperate to rid of the recent event, staying quiet and keeping to himself while he watches you pick the daisies one by one.

you usually wore dresses--short dresses, and maybe his eyes might've lingered on your exposed legs due to it a few (or a couple) times, but the skirt you're wearing today is extra short, and your top is cut very low, he can practically see your cleavage from where he's standing.

the sudden image of your fingers digging through your bra, pressing your breast against the other, he still remembers how soft it looks, and how--

"san!" your voice snaps him out, meeting eyes that already leveled his own when you were still just ripping out daisies last he recalled.

"oh shit, i'm sorry. what happened?"

"what's wrong with you?" you frown, arms coming up to cover your upper half. "you were staring at my breasts!"

the accusation sends him into a whirl of panic.

"i-i wasn't, i was just--"

"--yes you were, don't lie. i saw it."

you huff, stepping around him before turning again.

"first, you were looking at photos of other naked women and now you're checking me out--"

"--don't say it like that," he cuts, now more offended than embarrassed that he sounds like a complete pervert.

"then how do you want me to say it?"

"i'm just--i'm just going through something, okay?" like that's all the explanation that's needed for his recent behaviors, but you're still standing there unconvinced, eager to get to the root.

"well, what is it?"

the conversation and topic isn't easy, especially to a girl of his age, more so one who's the cause of it; that the reason he's been making use of sexually explicit photos from his friends and stealing glances where he shouldn't is because of the ache in his pants.

any slightest gesture from you drives him absolutely crazy, sweet or not sweet. he thinks you should know that, given how much you probably stick your nose in romance novels.

"haven't you ever like... read erotica or something?" he says, almost irritatingly he has to spell it out.

"what? no."

the tangent on the tip of your tongue about why you don't do any of that, not because your father raised you to be pure and lady-like, stripped away from the idea of seeking a man only for pleasure, but you just prefer simpler romance.

ones where you can lose yourself in a daydream; the retelling of looking in the other's eye and knowing they're the one. cheesy, sappy romance.

san's message hits you halfway into your thoughts, staring back at him and growing flustered.

you may have spent more than half your life confined to the farm, but you're no hermit completely deprived of civilization.

if san's trying to say what you think he is, you're not sure how to feel about it.

when you don't show the next day, san believes that he have officially ran you off. creeped you out so bad even the hunt for knowledge and adventure can't bring you out of hiding.

the day after, when he and his father is set to leave to town, car parked in front of your house to adjust some of the boxes, he's surprise when the front door comes flailing, the sound hard to miss even from where he's standing.

you pop from under the hood, hair half-tied the way you always have it and with a different floral dress, the only thing in your hand a lone daisy.

"hi," you speak, it being almost as low as a whisper.

san blinks down at you and throw on a smile, unable to comprehend that it's only been a day and his body is reacting as if you've been gone for a month.

"hi."

"can i still come?" there's a shyness to your voice, maybe a little bit of shame that you chickened out yesterday only to show again at your own convenience.

but it wasn't that you were trying to avoid him after what happened. you were just trying to sort out your feelings and needed to be away for better judgment.

you spent so long cradling the concept of romance, your head always in books and viewing the idea through a rose-coloured glass.

but that's all romance's been to you--a fantasy in writing form that you think would be nice. think it'd be good to have someone by your side who loves you so much, they'd sacrifice everything.

now, you're starting to feel a lot like the female protagonists you'd curse at because how can they be so foolish and hesitant when it comes to love.

you just couldn't predict you would actually get into a situation with a boy who, maybe, probably takes a small interest in you--only possibly.

and to experience it for the first time, you learn that the concept is actually a bit scary. consuming. nerve-racking.

it makes your heart beat faster in your chest, your fingers and legs tense and nervous, and butterflies swoops your stomach sitting next to him as your eyes shy away when he'd accidentally meet yours.

he really is so handsome, kind, and always gentle with not only you but everything he comes in contact with, and you're not only saying that because he's one of the few guys your age (out of three) you know of.

as soon as you three arrive in town, seonghwa and hongjoong along with two new faces you've never seen before, comes shoving through the commotion and make a circle around the truck.

"look who finally showed again," hongjoong quips, one side of his body leaning on the parked car.

"yeah, but he only showed for work. he's not gonna want to go grab a drink with us," seonghwa adds, gaze caught in yours shortly after.

"but at least y/n's here. maybe she won't mind?"

"y/n," says a blonde one from behind seonghwa, "didn't know san got a girlfriend."

the scene brings a chuckle out of mr. choi, sorting through the items before leaving you youngsters to talk among yourselves.

"she's not san's girlfriend," hongjoong turns to the boy in correction, from the corner of your eye seeing as san already start huffing in annoyance, "she's his boss's daughter he just so happens to always bring along these trips, that's it."

"interesting," hums the other one, closer to hongjoong's height and dark haired, pushing past the other boys until he's standing in front of you. "i'm wooyoung, it's a pleasure meeting you."

you're about to return his greeting when san beats you to it.

"how jobless are you guys to both, be waiting on my arrival, and to even have the time to blurt so many nonsense?" he's snarky, but with a hint of playfulness.

"uhm, excuse me," wooyoung retorts, "ain't nobody faster at clearing the field than us, that's why we're gonna be in town all day."

"what, so you guys can get high off your asses?"

"no other way to do it after long days of work!"

the group of boys continues teasing san in the name of affection, eventually helping him and his father out while blabbering even more nonsense before moving onto sharing stories.

they tell you of how all eight of them--yes, eight, met and came to form the crazy friendship they have to this day. boys from the same village, they said. growing up and finding similarities in each other, they also learned to lean on one another through the hardships of life.

you find the blonde one is named yeosang, and the other three who isn't here currently are yunho, mingi, and jongho being the youngest of the group.

it's a bit chaotic initially, so many bodies standing around one tiny stall, but soon when most of the population gets out of bed and start migrating to the town center, it's proven to be good for business.

five handsome faces catching onlookers attention and pulling them immediately to the spot as the men smile and thank the flustered customers of mostly women by bagging their items.

you smile endearingly thinking to yourself, these boys are definitely some efficient marketing tool.

"but if there's one thing you need to know about him, is that he talks out of his ass more than half the time," san curses wooyoung's name again, testifying the accuracy of his story of san eating shit.

he didn't eat shit. he just almost did, because stupid ass wooyoung and mingi wanted to visit the gravesite at night and ran like little girls when they heard the branch creaking.

you giggle at that, nodding.

"i believe you."

speaking of gravesite, you told san you're gonna visit manshik again and he insisted to come along which you're grateful for because it's only natural the place gives you the creep.

"but yeah, i hope my friends wasn't too much," he says upon reaching the site.

"not at all!" you shake your head, passionate about the answer because that was the most life you've seen and felt in so long, such a contrast to the dull silence at home you're used to.

all the smiles, laughters, and chitters of the boys poking fun at one another and recalling embarrassing stories done so mischievously but also with a certain fondness that it was an absolute sight to see.

the way they tried including you in everything and asking questions when you're quiet for too long, afraid you might feel left out, bringing in the false sense that you've known them for years though you just met.

you're relieved wonderful people like san and his father has equally wonderful people in their lives.

"if you say so," he ends the conversation there, gaze following your walking figure that is soon on the ground to place the lone daisy the same way before, closing your eyes and wishing that wherever manshik is, he's doing well.

san lets you lead the way again, his steps trailing from behind and watching for anything. one minute you're still maintaining your balance and the next, your body's flailing forward at the rock you missed, nearly landing onto your face if san hadn't rush over to keep you from falling.

his arms nicely wrapped around your waist and face only inches away from yours, his breath practically ghosting over your skin.

he's absolutely beautiful, fox eyes staring back and red cheeks coming into bloom at such proximity, he has to clear his throat and pull away when time seems to have stopped.

"sorry," he mutters almost inaudible, lashes fluttering cutely. and you don't know what comes over suddenly, your body reacting before your mind, hands going to retrieve his.

"it's okay," you whisper, closing off the space with san peering down with the most scared but desperate look on his face until you're flushed against his chest, the thumping of his heartbeat loud to your ears.

he swallows hard and the longest silence ensues after.

you're not exactly sure why you pulled him back and why all instincts jumped when he removed his touch. right now, you just know you wanna kiss him, plumped lips and all taunting your deprived body that wants to experience these things for yourself.

so nervous about love; romance but also wanting someone by your side to call yours.

if he likes you, there's no reason to not give it a chance at least, lifting your feet off the ground and dipping in for a kiss on his frozen lips and coming back down to look for a reaction.

he still doesn't say anything, causing an embarrassment to rose immediately, talking in your small voice, "sorry--"

but his lips is on yours again, grips tight on your hips and messy kisses as if he's done this a thousand times before.

your hands find comfort at the rest of his shoulders, attempting to match his pace the best your virgin lips can.

he pulls back first, soft and gentle push at your hips as you both try catching your breath.

"what was that just now?" he says, brows pinched together and like he's seconds away from laughter.

"i don't know..." you reply, a shy smile on, barely able to look at him because your heart is about to fly out of your chest now that the elephant in the room's finally addressed.

both your bodies stand there in the silence of daylight but it doesn't at all feel awkward.

"san," you call out sweetly, to which he acknowledges with a hum. your grip on his shoulders having moved to fiddling his shirt around his chest.

"do you like me?" your tendency to be frank and honest calls for his own as well.

san doesn't have much experiences, not from the girls in the village or nearby towns not taking interests in him or anything like that, a couple of them giving him the stare before.

but because he's spent most of his life in the field and helping his family, sometimes lucky if he's able to stay in one place for more than a few months, the thought of finding the one despite being of age barely crossing his mind.

he's had curiosity and aches, yes, but that's about as far as it goes.

being around you too long, always walking or running in your pretty heels and dresses just looking like that, but especially with how you treat him, he can say he does like you if that also speaks of how much he likes the kiss just now.

"you could say that." he quirks one side of his lips and you can only smile.

because you understand to an extent you both do want this but everything is new, scary, and a bit unfamiliar, which is why you say it's worth a try though whether it will work or not is beyond your grasp.

the return to the center is different, most of the boys unable to pinpoint what is but that something has changed after the trip and is affecting both of your current behaviors.

san is smiling more, and you're starting to become rather shameless with the glances you'd steal his way. whatever it is, they believe it to be something good for the two of you.

when the time comes and you're to go back, accidentally bumping your shoulder into san's when seated in the car that it sets off that familiar sensation.

the situation still new and excited, hiding a smile and keeping your gaze on the road before falling into a slumber on his shoulder.

"y/n."

you awake at the soft call of your name and a light tap on your head.

"we've arrived."

prying your eyes apart the best you can, you face the boy whose voice and touch it belongs to before he gets out to your side and opens the door.

"thanks," you say on the way out, another gentle hold on your arms to keep from stumbling.

coming into view with the house isn't as terrible as expected, but you don't feel particularly excited about it, too. every reminder of being trapped and stripped of freedom, made worse by the fact you know you won't see san again for a while.

"i should go now," he speaks, hesistant and unsure. "i look forward to seeing you again in a few days."

he only makes it a couple steps to the other side when you shout with a protest of "wait" and is already standing in front of him, so nervous but also eager, going to place a peck on his lips.

"i'll see you soon, san," his name falling off more comfortably now.

you see those cute dimples emerging from his cheeks, his reply the closing to the entire scene.

"i'll see you, y/n."

the days goes by very slowly, as a matter of fact.

you still peek your head out the window but with very little expectations, and by the fourth day, you assume that they will be back tomorrow the same as before.

when the morning of the fifth comes, you take your heels and run out the door anticipating for the appearance of a red truck from the forest trees. but nothing. not a single sign of life outside; not even in the afternoon or evening.

you wait for tomorrow, hopeful and yet to jump into conclusion because there's so many reasons why san and his father couldn't make it back in time.

but it's also the same that day, then the day after, and the one after that, too. progressively, your mind that tried being optimistic about it faltering each time you go out and see they haven't returned.

an entire week of nothing, you take it upon yourself and make way to the cottage that morning, knowing the chance of them actually having arrived days ago unannounced is unlikely, but you wish to be wrong.

and for the first time in your life, you hate that you're actually right. the door locked and no sound from anywhere but your desperate knocking.

you retreat back to the house in defeat.

the following afternoon when you're at table for dinner, fork stabbing your untouched food with a huge brick sitting on your chest, you finally ask min, no longer able to hold back the concerns plaguing your mind.

because she's your father's worker, it's her duty to know about everything that goes on around the farm. not you, though. your father doesn't tell you anything if that isn't obvious by now.

"min," you speak, voice relaxing and nothing at all like the turmoil at the pit of your stomach.

she looks up from wiping the counter with a nervous twitch at the call, but with something so attentive like she was expecting this moment.

"it's been a week and mr. choi and his son hasn't returned. do you know what possibly could be taking them this long?"

she just stands there, staring off into space before moving it to her shoes. she knows something you don't.

"min?" you squeak, all that turmoil and worries starting to seep.

you watch with a racing heart as she throws down the towel and turns to look at you, the pity in her eyes similar to that of when she'd tell the new restrictions your father came up with that is in effect immediately.

"mr. choi and his son has been dismissed."

you have to do a second take at that, convinced for a second you're hearing things, but it's all very real. and despite being strict and on the occasional, cranky, min always have your best interest at heart and would never lie.

"w-what why?" is all that manages to make out of your mouth, though questions are generating at the speed of light.

"your father knew they took you to town and fired them on the spot when he found out. i know he ordered for their things to be taken to them, so they most likely won't be coming back."

"but how did he--"

"someone in town recognized you and reported back to your father, that's all i know for now."

the waves of emotions attacking all at once is unexplainable. anger, hopelessness, guilt.

angry at your father for acting like the tyrant that he is, throwing people away like they're disposable at his own convenience. and because you know the second you bring it up, he will claim to be doing it for your own good. bullshit.

but the rage making you red in the face is nothing compared to the guilt, feeling absolutely awful since this is all your fault. your silly little want for adventure and fun is the cause for the permanent loss of san and his father's job, something they do for a living for the roof over their head and food in their stomach.

thinking back to the last few days, that while they were probably trying to piece everything together again, you were just going on your days like nobody's business.

you're about to be sick, not feeling much mightier than your father.

so you sit there on the stairs with each of the emotions taking turns. the current--frustration and anger winning while waiting for him to come home from his daily meetings or whatever he does. you don't really care.

when the front door creaks open, you're fast to stand up in the already thick air ready for a father-daughter fight in the making.

he's surprise to see you, his sweet daughter that is supposed to listen to him and keep quiet at all time.

"why couldn't you just punish me instead? why did it have to be them?" you're straightforward, not allowing any time for confusion, unable to afford it right now.

your father barely squints his eyes but eventually, he gets the message. hanging his jacket onto the rack and heading for the kitchen instead.

you hate it, the way he always fucking act and talk to you like you're stupid and anything that comes out your mouth is unimportant.

"are you going to talk to me?" your voice is stern right behind him, your father drinking a glass of water before putting it down and turning to you. he isn't moved in the slightest.

"there is nothing to talk about. they went behind my back and got what they deserved."

"how can you even say that," disgust and hurt in your voice. "they have been nothing but amazing, including manshik whose passing i have to find out on my own because you won't tell me anything!"

"you don't need to know anything. they work for me, they're not people for you to become friends with so you can ask them to bring you anywhere."

"then what the hell do you want me to do?" you yelp, the volume quite impressive you didn't think you could ever be this loud and mad before. "you keep me inside this farm like a prisoner! but you know what, at least a prisoner has a variety of people to talk to and have the chance of getting out!"

he closes his eyes and exhale, and you already know what he's going to say next. what he always say.

"i'm only doing this to protect you!"

"no!" you're quick to hit back. "you're only doing it for your own selfish reasons. if you really care about me, i wouldn't be on the brink of madness counting down the minute i lose my sanity because i'm so freaking tired of this stupid farm!"

"y/n," he growls, and you don't like fighting with your father but it feels like it's the last option. all the long years of frustration pent-up coming to the surface in the ugliest way.

"your mother was exactly like you, always so eager and excited to see the world and look what happened to her! do you want to share the same fate as your mother?"

"that doesn't mean i'm gonna end up like her!"

from what you know, your mother liked traveling a lot, especially going from one town to another. then she contracted an illness from one of them; an outbreak, they said. she failed to recover and passed away shortly after.

you never really got to know much about her. you were so young then.

"enough! i don't want to hear you talk about that boy or his father, and i order you to stay inside!"

tears starts welling though the last thing you want to be seen as is weak, you're so upset he never listens to you.

"i hate you!" you shout, storming up the stairs and into your room.

no matter what, you can't surrender; let your father win and be confined to this prison for the rest of your life, living the same day over and over again until you're too old to even walk anymore.

another thing, is you're afraid you won't see san ever again. the first boy to make something flutter inside your chest, turning your vision with splashes of pink whenever you look at him, and the boy who you shared the first kiss with.

out of anger, and out of spite, you feel you have to do something.

when midnight creeps in, the moon high above in the sky and the entire interior a dark color, you sneak out of the house, the process actually more simple than you had thought.

maybe your father expected you to follow his orders like before, or that you won't have the guts to go out at such hour or at all, but the internal commotion (and drive) proves to be greater than anything, even completely numbing any sense of fear that would usually come with the nightly wind and an empty forest.

the path to town is straightforward and you have the directions ingrained with just the few trips, biking all the way over there with nothing but the hope you'll be able to find someone who knows san's whereabouts.

he's never told you where the village he resides in is located. worst case scenario, you're going to have to find it yourself.

the town is different at night in comparison to the lively atmosphere you're used to, it looks almost ghostly with how some of the flyers slides on the flooring, the wind blowing strong, and there's practically no one here.

but you catch a light from the corner of your eye, maybe one of the only two building to still be alive. you make way to it, the banner at the front hitting you with familiarity.

wonderland. it is the bar san's friends always talked about going in. feeling a lot more hopeful again, you enter and deduce that even if they aren't here, someone around must have heard of san, at the very least.

your eyes roam the old town bar, small but cozy, before your name falls from someone's lips.

"seonghwa?" you squeak, surprise but relieved to see someone you recognize. just when every ounce of hope was about to fly out of your body.

"i heard san and his father lost their jobs," seonghwa says, after you told him you're looking for san and the older boy bring up the coincidence that he's just about to head home.

"yeah... and it's all my fault because i asked to come along knowing my father would've retaliated if he found out."

"you're being too harsh on yourself. i'm sure san and his father doesn't see it like that."

you sigh out harshly, a short silence passing before speaking again.

"do you know how they're doing right now?"

he shakes his head.

"not really. i haven't spoken to him in like two days. was busy with work and all, just finally got the time to catch a drink tonight. but last i heard, they're on the hunt for work again."

"oh..." you mumble, unable to help the guilt making a reappearance at what he just said.

"again, it's not your fault," he adds before stopping and nodding his head off to one of the houses. "this is my cue. san's should be the first on that turn over at the corner, some colorful garden, it will be hard to miss. good luck."

you nod and thank him courtly before he goes off, the man really so kind and wonderful, a different side to him because you're used to him being the butt of the joke or in the back hiding a laughter.

you put the bike off to the side and approach the door with caution, knocking twice as quiet as you can, not wanting to alert anyone at this hour that you're here trespassing or anything.

the door opens to a woman, friendly smile on and a lot shorter than you, who you can only assume to be san's mother if you followed seonghwa's instructions correctly and didn't wind up on some stranger's door instead.

"hello?" she greets you.

"hi, i was just wondering if--"

but your question is answered when mr. choi pops from behind, an equally welcoming smile on when he recognizes you.

"well hello there, young miss," he says, gesturing for you to come in, your eyes curiously wandering the much smaller home once inside.

"this is the daughter of our previous boss," mr. choi introduces, an embarrass flush growing on your cheeks from the usage of previous.

"are you here by his request?" he asks, and you shake your head, about to apologize for everything and maybe leave out the part where you ran away from home, but really just apologize, when the closing of a door snaps your head that direction and sees san just standing there.

"what are you doing here?" he finally speaks once it's just the two of you outside.

you have been waiting to see him again after an entire week, after sharing a kiss and him confirming the possibility of a feeling being mutual, the way your body reacted at the sight of him is electric.

you also thought he would be happy to see you, or at least look the slightest relieved you came. but that doesn't seem to be the case at all, his face everything but a smile ever since he saw you.

"it's all my fault that you and your father lost your job, and i'm so--"

the rambling is cut when he jumps in with a serious, "you shouldn't be here, y/n." all the sparks and hopes of a sappy reconciliation out the window that moment, the scene nothing reminiscing of any romance novels you've read.

"but my father--"

"--it's cool. we'll just look for work again, it shouldn't be too hard. but please tell me you didn't come all the way over here against your father's wishes just for this."

you can only stare at him, the once soft gaze turning cold, because how can he be so dismissive like it's nothing. you know you came by your own will, but it hurts how small he's making the matters sound.

"i came because i feel awful about what happened, and because..." you're afraid you won't see him again.

it may be some form of puppy love, or just the fondness of one another, or that he's the only guy your age you've ever got to know this closely, or that you're the only girl his age he can hold a conversation with for more than a minute, but you are afraid of losing him.

feared that you will forever be stuck in the farm and won't ever see the dimpled boy who'd accompany you to the river, and who allowed you to see a small part of the world for the first time.

"because i wanted to apologize..." you say defeatedly.

had he reacted differently, the confession for sure would've slipped, but it doesn't look like he wants to hear that right now.

"it's okay, don't worry about it."

the assurance doesn't make it any better; if anything, it might've made you feel worse with the thickest silence gauging the air, and that after everything, this is all he can say.

"you should go back," he starts, the silence sitting for long enough.

"no," you reply, because you understand the circumstances... you do. but you also have the tendency to be frank; honest, always wearing your heart on your sleeve. "i'm not going back."

"you have to." he steps closer, not out of intimacy, but because you can tell he's starting to get frustrated.

"he's never going to let me out again if i go, and especially if he finds out i snuck out of the house, i might as well be good as dead."

now, you're starting to sound a lot like a child throwing a tantrum because they got scolded. you absolutely do not need that given the fact all your father ever does is reprimand your behaviors.

"he's your father, y/n. he wouldn't be that cruel to his own daughter."

"you don't know my father, san."

"no, i don't, but it won't be good for you to stay here. i can take you back before it gets too late."

disappointment, betrayal, and once again, anger, brews in your blood, your chest, and your stomach.

"it's fine. i can go back myself."

san watch as you pick up your bike and walk off, not even bothering to spare him a last glance. but even in the pitched darkness, he was still able to make out your brows closing together and your once pretty smile that turned into a frown.

dragging your bike all the way back to the town center, you don't even have the heart to get on it, your mind entirely clouded and if you so happen die on this road; get robbed or held at gunpoint, you probably don't even care.

disappointment, betrayal, and anger still in the deep of your chest, because of all people, you wouldn't have guessed it would come from san.

coming all the way here for him; the sweet boy who told you he likes you and thinking he might be able to help because the relationship was getting somewhere.

now, you just feel foolish; stupid, but more so, hurt.

his voice still loud and echoing, telling you to go back to your father even after everything you've shared with him. because although there's no wounds to show for your father's actions all these years because he doesn't get physical, your heart will be forever scarred.

it will remember the days locked inside your room or house and thinking of all the missed opportunities, or all the could be's if he had let you live like any other kids and grow with the curiosities and constant urges for adventure, instead of at this age where you still seek those things.

the center is empty when you get there, all the lightings already out and you don't even have it in you to be scared of the dark or the fact you're alone.

throwing your bike against the bench, you take a seat to catch your breath, all ideas out at this point. that you might as well go back home and kneel to your father and hope he's lenient enough he'll still let you roam the farm.

minutes of staring into nothingness and listening to the ghostly wind, you finally hear something that makes the goosebumps on your arms rise a little.

steps and breathing that only gets closer and louder, and you're still just frozen in your spot like any character making a stupid decision, ready to accept your fate.

"y/n?"

but the voice's still like music to your ear, turning around so fast to see san just a couple feet away and trying to catch his breath as well.

your body doesn't lie and it reacts to him strongly, gaze softening and the beating of your heart a calm but happy one, because he came after you in the end.

"thank goodness, i was afraid you might've already went too far," he says in between the tired pauses, taking the seat next to you.

you look at him through your blinking lashes, a laughter on the verge of coming out at his state because he's huffing and puffing like no tomorrow. but it's also evidence of how hard and fast he ran.

when you took the official leave, really turning your back on him, he did think it was for the better. because what kind of father, especially yours, would be okay with his daughter choosing someone like him?

he's just a measly farmboy, always out in the sun and field and always traveling to find work. he's meant to find a girl from the same village; fall in love with her and settle down with her. not you.

not someone whose family has made a name for themselves, and especially not someone whose father is yours. it just doesn't work like that.

he was ready to accept it, but then he realizes... he may never see you ever again. and something about that really bothered him.

he's okay with not being able to love you; love a concept still new to him, but it does upset him at the thought of you guys becoming strangers; the other person only a memory of the past. he don't want that.

he will miss you, the first girl he kissed who has an obsession with heels, floral dresses, daisies, and books. and he had a gut feeling that if he lets you go now, he's going to regret it for a long time.

"you came after all..." you mumble, not too long ago so hopeless and lost, but it already feels so much better with him just being here.

"yeah." he nods, moving closer and looking down at you. "are you still upset with me?"

he might've said some things he didn't mean, with the only goal to get you to return because he can't think of any other reasons why you'd want to stay here instead.

"of course," you spit quietly, your lips already trembling with tears threatening to spill just thinking back to how much his words hurt you in that moment.

you're a bit of a crybaby at heart.

"i'm sorry, i was just..." he tries finding the right word but is unable to, opting to wipe the first tear to appear from your eye.

"i feel super bad about what happened, i know i keep saying that, but i do. and because i-i thought you liked me enough--"

"--i do like you," he cuts, beginning to get desperate.

"then why?"

"because..." he fumbles the wording again, his choices usually flowery so he can walk around the truth, but you've been nothing but honest, san could learn a thing or two.

"because even if we were to start something, what good would it do? and how long until we realize it was doomed from the start?"

he may not know a lot about love or romance, but he knows about reality. the hardships and hassle of life, and the possible and impossible.

"i'm just a farmboy, y/n. do you really think you want someone like me?"

you swallow nervously, denial at the tip of your tongue, but you know it holds some truth... that the "difference" is there. but you've never thought of him as lower than you or ever looked down on him and his father for the work they do.

anyone that comes into your life with kindness and respect, you will treasure, always having placed value in a person's heart.

"if i wasn't sure, i wouldn't have came all the way over here."

"but what about your father?"

"what about my father? this is about me and my choices, who cares about him?"

san's about to say something but decides to give you the victory, your tongue always a little sharp and you've always been stubborn.

"alright, well, i'm not about to argue with you again. we should head back." he gets up and holds out a hand, your sulky face turning into a smile that instant.

"i can come?"

he nods, fighting the smile at the sight of you squealing before wrapping your hand around his tightly.

you're not sure what the morning has in store for you; the creativity your father is gonna go to in order to get you back, but you just know that right now, your heart feels at rest with the boy you like.

somehow, he was able to convince his parents in letting you two share the same bed, reassuring them a pillow would be put right in the middle for separation, a man and a woman in bed together when they're unmarried still frowned upon... but you would say otherwise.

especially if you guys like each other, you don't see the crime in falling asleep in one another's arms or wanting to just be close; your body desperate for his touch again.

the mattress creeks under the shift of your weight, moving closer to san and snaking an arm around his waist assuming he's asleep, but he instead twitches under your touch and the warmth of his hand caressing your arm makes you jump.

"y/n? what are you doing?"

"i, uh... i just wanted to hug something. it helps me sleep faster," you're quick to come up with something, all the years of sleeping with your stuffed animals, the presence of another human being different in a good way.

he shift and turns over at that, the movements felt on the hold you have around him, knowing he's probably facing you right now but unable to see it with the stupid pillow in the way.

grabbing it only to throw it onto the floor, he's surprise at the boldness, but more so at your eyes in the darkly lit room staring back once he can make out your features better.

"hi," you whisper, a smile on that san can't miss.

"hey."

"were you asleep?"

he shakes his head, his ruffled and messy hair brushing your forehead as he does so.

"i thought you were the one asleep."

"couldn't sleep," you say.

"how come? is it because of your father?"

"kind of, but..." you scoot even closer, both your eyes leveling and lips only inches apart, "i was also thinking about you."

the words jolt san more awake than ever, the reason he was unable to sleep also because of you. the closeness conjuring up that feeling again he's tried to ignore because it made you upset last time.

"what about me were you thinking of?" he edges on, attempting to keep his composure because you're so close and he kind of wants to kiss you again.

"just... how much i like you, i don't know. no matter what my father or anyone else say."

san lets a few seconds of silence pass before he replies, a smile on his lips because he's moved by your words.

"i like you, too. like actually really really like you."

he's still not sure if it's love--or if it's possible to love someone in that short amount of time, but he knows everything is so comfortable and easy with you.

with one hand reaching out to knead the silky skin of your cheek, he takes you in for a kiss. a bit messy but also passionate; desperate. he takes his time, the taste of your lips one he will savor forever.

moving against the other's flesh, you don't know how long you've been kissing him, but as soon as you're pulling apart, you're both catching your breath followed by quiet, happy laughters.

you really do like him so much.

"goodnight, y/n," he mumbles, his voice the perfect one to fall asleep to.

"goodnight, san."

despite the rocky start of yesterday, the bits with san last night made you so happy and hopeful, falling into a deep slumber with the thought that you're going to be okay no matter what happens.

but when you wake to the morning sun and a series of muffled voices outside the room, that anxiety and nervousness comes crashing back because although you may have acted tough and cursed your father's name, you're still scared of him to an extent.

walking out, the light from the front door makes you squint before the familiar faces outside it has you already next to san's parents and finding that the two arrivals are none other than your father's men.

"your father has ordered us to bring you home by the end of today," one of them says, at the same time san stalks up behind you.

"well, tell him i'm not coming," you reply, nearly rolling your eyes, already annoyed.

"but miss, you have to."

aware that if you don't give a better reason than simply not wanting to go back, it's gonna be an endless back and forth of 'i don't want to' and 'but you have to', you latch onto the first lie you can think of.

"tell him i'm not coming back because..." you even fumble, buzzing before continuing on," because i already agreed to get married."

everyone snaps to you like you're crazy and maybe you are a little. san giving the widest eyes when you back up to wrap your arms around one of his, snuggling your head with an exaggerated smile at your father's men.

"so if he really wants me to come back, he's going to have to come himself."

your father's men can only sigh and shake their heads before retreating back, a victory smirk on you, but san doesn't look very amused.

"i was just buying some time," you explain like a child in trouble, with san sitting across.

because if you had given into your father and went back the second he asked, your life would be no different from before. and worse, he most likely would forbid you from seeing san.

you're more afraid of that than anything. so you buy time so you can be with him a little longer. his soft hand in yours and shy lips that wants to kiss as badly as you do.

because when there's a knock at the front door again, the clock almost striking midnight, you know it's your father. and whether you want to or not, you're most likely gonna have to go back.

when mr. choi welcomes him in, you can't even bother to spare a glance, whether out of spite or embarrassment, you just know you don't want him here.

the first couple of minutes are spent with mandatory introductions, big and welcoming smiles on both of san's parents and a smaller one on your dad before they offer him a drink, and then the real show starts.

"i apologize for my daughter if she troubled you guys in any way, i understand she's a bit careless and often do things on impulse."

you fume through your nose, the only thing holding you back is san's soft squeeze on your hand, intertwining it with yours the second they started talking because he knew it was gonna be needed.

"oh no, she didn't at all!" mr. choi brushes it off, the man always full of respect and fairness unlike your father, who you can tell is actually taken aback that others don't agree you're as troublesome as he makes you out to be.

"i also don't mean to make my visit so short, but as i'm sure you're aware, it's quite late and i hope to make it back as soon as possible."

"no worries." mr. choi nods understandably, "if you guys have to get going, don't feel obligated to stay."

your father only hums in return before standing up and turning to you.

"let's go."

the panic that comes over is fast, your squeeze on san's hand getting tighter because this can't possibly be it. he can't just walk in here, not even bothering to hear you out at the very least, and then walk out and expect you to just follow through.

"i don't want to," it almost sounds like a hiss, but your voice already beginning to sound clogged and nose runny at the few tears that slipped out because your fear is starting to become a reality.

if you go back, you most likely won't see san again.

your father only exasperate, whether he doesn't want to make a scene in front of others or that he's tired of arguing with you since he knows you don't have any other choice.

you can't stay here forever, and he knows that.

"i'll be waiting outside," is all he says, his eyes catching the tight grip you have on san before walking out.

"i-i don't want to go," you say through the tears, staring at san so desperately as he wipes them away with his thumbs.

"you have to."

as much as he doesn't want to tell you that, the sting in his heart now that he knows is going to be much worse later, hiding and keeping you to himself at home just isn't feasible right now.

"i promise," he whispers, closing the distance and looking into your puffy red eyes peering up at him and gauging his words so carefully, "i promise that i'll come visit you."

your lashes flutter at that, heart a little hopeful again.

"you really promise?"

he nods, a handsome smile on his lips before going in to give your forehead a tender kiss.

"i promise."

the silence is deadly the second you finally get into your father's car, even the driver at the front have to clear his throat to cut the thick tension.

only keeping your gaze ahead with a permanent sulky expression, your father's voice emit from beside you.

"that boy, you like him?"

but you don't answer, an eye roll is what you give instead because it should be obvious by now.

even though you've practically ran away as a cry for help, on the verge of leaving the farm and your father for good, not much seems to have changed--for the better or worse.

relieved that he didn't bestow some horrific punishment on you or forever take the privilege of going outside, but also disheartened at the lack of progress.

all the crying and efforts of protesting only to land you two right back to silent dinners, non-existent conversations, and an awkward thick tension always hanging in the air.

at this rate, you don't look forward to anything but the hope that san will keep his promise. but even that's starting to fade the more days passes and that dream feeling so much further away because there doesn't seem to be any signs of that ever coming true.

almost two weeks after, you wake to a disruptive sound outside your window, having to pull at your pillow to your ears so you can continue sleeping.

the door to your bedroom jolts open and has you snapping up to hyunjoo standing there.

"miss, someone's here for you."

making way down the stairs after carelessly throwing something on because who else could possibly be here for you, unless your father has finally came up with how to torture you for the rest of his life.

but when the first fresh air of the morning weather hits you, the first thing in your line of sight to be that familiar red truck, you think you still might be dreaming, the only indication this is all very real is the beating of your heart and how loud it is to your ears.

watching as a figure dig through the car with only their legs and back visible, those shoulders all too recognizable by now that you can't help but call out.

"san?"

if someone could monitor your heart rate right now, the machine might as well explode.

when he finally draws back at the sound of your voice and turn to look over his shoulder, the smallest whimper but the biggest tears of joy leaves you both at once running to him that instant and locking him into a hug.

his sweet-sounding laughter vibrating from the top of your head, and oh, you're about to pass out from happiness.

"you really came," you say after pulling away just enough to look him in the face because you miss him so much.

he nods with a tight-lipped smile, those dimples emerging and you miss them just as much as him.

"good morning, miss," another voice from the other side of the truck has you turning head, stunned to see mr. choi that you can only blink.

"your father came by and offered us the job back," san speaks, your attention moving to him again and so surprised by what he just said, you don't even know how to respond as if waiting for him to say he was joking or something.

because this is all because of your father?

"oh..." your response makes san giggle, your eyes fleeting to his father in the back momentarily as he heads for the cottage.

"would you like to go to town?" he asks, "your father said it's fine as long as you go with me."

"really?"

everything still hard to process and you're holding onto your breath at this point that reality wouldn't be so cruel as to take it all back.

he nods, the hopeful look on you making him as equally happy.

"okay, i'll be back! i just need to change first!" you back up, running inside the house again with jittery feet that brings a chuckle out of san.

returning again with your signature look, hair half tied in a bow, platform heels, and an off shoulder dress, you run to san immediately latching onto his hand.

"let's go!"

"wait," he stops, flinging you until you're staring back with adorable eyes.

"i want to give you something first."

you watch him reach for his pocket before pulling out something, an inaudible gasp leaving when you see what it is. a daisy hairpin.

"i got it a while ago... actually a few days before your father dismissed us. saw it while in town and i really wanted to get it for you," he explains, "turn around."

your back facing him as he goes to clip it beside your bow, shifting around after he's done with the most lovesick smile decorating your lips.

"you suit it," he barely gets out the comment, your arms already wrapped around him again as you make yourself home on his chest.

"thank you so much, san!"

"of course."

he rests his chin on top your head, smoothing out strands of your hair.

"you know, i read somewhere that daisy symbolizes joy, purity, and a new beginning."

you smile at the comment and tighten the hug, like every second spent with him is going to make you burst, never in your life have you experienced this immense of joy before. you don't want to ever let go.

the second you both arrive in town, all of the boys you've come to know and love along with three others, starts pushing and tripping one another, eager to be the first to get a word out.

yunho, mingi, and jongho fights to introduce themselves, a welcoming demeanor on all of them and jongho going off about how he couldn't wait to meet you, the girl who stole san's heart and made him completely miserable for the last two weeks.

a/n: it's a bit rushed esp the relationship, i understand. but the way i watched the little mermaid two days after i started writing this so i couldn't resist the similarities sdksldks. anyways, go stream oh boy by red velvet

#pls spare my farming illiteracy #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #choi san x reader #san x reader #ateez scenarios #fic: oh boy

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wh0relibrarian · 5 months

Text

sunshine

a/n: a continuation of this post, although altered to be a summer break instead of winter. completely got lost in that 😭 please excuse any informalities, i’m still getting used to writing in second person (or smut for that matter), and tumblrs post format! so don’t be mean ;(

context (if you don't want to read the previous post): Reader is visiting her hometown for the summer. A rising grad student who just so happens to bump into Sukuna at the airport. After quick introductions, he gives her his number in case she gets too lonely...

content ahead: southern sukuna au, black coded!reader, afab!reader, d referred to as dick bc i don’t like using “cock”, v referred to as cunt or pussy, age gap (reader in her early 20s, sukuna is in his early 30s), cowgirl, daddy kink, rough!sukuna (but he’s still a softie), needy!reader, clit stimulation, nicknames such as sweetheart, princess, baby/babydoll, creampie, ass/face slaps, lots of praise, a decent amount of plot

word count: 3.9k

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

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You’ve been texting Sukuna for a week now. Off and on, trying not to seem too interested, but interested enough to keep his attention. It sucked that he was a man very obviously out of touch with technology, because you can’t find pictures of him anywhere. Not even a Facebook page. You’ve just been grasping at straws, trying to remember each detail of his face. Each tattoo. You didn’t even get enough time to admire the one’s on his face, way too engulfed in his general appearance.

And oh, Sukuna. That poor man. He knew from the moment he saw you that you’d keep him up at night. From the curvature of your lips— only being the opening act to the beautiful smile you had hidden beneath. He tries to remember what color your shirt was, but can only remember how plump your tits looked. Practically spilling out of a… tank top? Or maybe it was a crop top. You had a jacket on, which he knows was gray because you kept trying to wrap it around your waist like you were embarrassed by your body. He couldn’t figure out why, though. You’re beautiful from head to toe, every part of you.

But today, today was the day you’d ask him to take you out. Or just ask to go out in general. Hell, you’d take anything at this point.

You: Hiii Sukuna. How’s your wrist feeling? I know a couple days ago you said it was progressively getting worse, any updates?

Sukuna: Hey babydoll. I think it’s all good now. Nothin a lil icyhot can’t fix. How are you?

You: I’m happy to hear that :) and I’m okay, just bored, per usual.

Sukuna: Ya know I’m always around.

You: It’s funny you mention that… I was wondering if you were busy later today? Or tonight. Either or, whatever works best for you. If you would even want to do anything of course.

Sukuna: City girl finally ready to get some sunshine?

You: Don’t make fun of me 😑

Sukuna: Oh I’d never do such a thing. Are you free right now? My lunch break’s comin up, could use the company.

You: Yes I am! I can be ready in 15, I’ll send my address.

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You weren’t as nervous as you thought you’d be. You know you looked good, you felt good. You put on a casual outfit, just a pair of bell bottoms and some old t-shirt your mom left around. This wasn’t a date, and you didn’t want to scare him, so you treated it like a normal hang out with a friend.

He picked you up in an old pickup truck, run down from the years spent riding on dirt roads and an occasional swamp. (Things can get messy the further south you go.) It was normal where you’re from to have at least one beat up truck per household, so his car was not a problem. You were all smiles, nearly skipping your way to the passenger side. Sukuna rolled down the window and he too had a bright toothy smile plastered on his face. It almost looked malicious, but you overlooked it once you got in. Something about his presence had you in a trance, you couldn’t focus on anything else but him.

When you opened the door, he stretched his arm out to help you into the chair. You made it a point to act as if you were struggling to get in and shut the door, nerves suddenly keeping you from wanting to look him straight in the eye. “Damn sweetheart… just look at you,” he said while leaning his body back, taking a moment to take in your appearance. “Hiii Sukuna, you aren’t too bad yourself,” you said giggling.

“We’re just goin’ up to Milo’s, hope that’s luxury enough for ya.”

“You think I came dressed like this for somethin’ luxury?”

“Well if that ain’t luxury, I’d be curious to see what is.”

Smirking, Sukuna went back to putting his full focus on the road. The butterflies in your stomach had died down, finding his presence incredibly inviting and safe. You were looking out the window for a while, until his hand found yours which was resting on your thigh. You turn around to him surprised, only to see his eyes still trained on the road in front of him. His hand clasped yours and gripped it tight, and you found the silence warm, like a gentle hug you wanted to last forever.

The lunch date was sweet. You both ordered cheeseburgers, fries, and a large sweet tea; reveling in its taste since it had been some time since you had genuine sweet tea. He started asking you about your schooling, learning that you’re majoring in business and will soon start working on your master’s degree. This charmed him— you were both alike even if it was in different ways. You’ve always provided for your mother, and so has he. You won’t stop reaching new opportunities, and neither will he. As the date went on his attraction only grew deeper. Your physical appearance did not mean much to him, you were to die for, but right now he wanted to know every single thing about you and didn’t care about anything else.

But… this wasn’t to say he’s not a curious man.

When ordering the food, you took a step back to look at the entire menu. This caused your skin tight shirt to rise up ever so slightly, showing off your cute tummy and belly button piercing. You noticed him staring, and he was never one to lie.

“Sukuna, order some damn food and stop looking at me like that,” you slapped his large bicep jokingly, making that same smirk from earlier slowly grow on his face.

“Mmm, you hidin’ that accent from me girl. Soundin’ so pretty bossin’ me around.”

You could tell the cashier felt a bit awkward at this point, so you pushed Sukuna in front of you to get him to focus.

Even though he would have moments like those, you didn’t feel like he was objectifying you. It never became the focal point of your conversations. It seemed like he was genuinely interested in getting to know you and it made you feel so… different. Sure you were young, but you’d never experienced such a natural yet interesting conversation with a man. You were shocked by it, to say the least, and it only made you want him more.

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After that day, you two were basically inseparable. He made it a point to try and see you after work, and if there was a day where he couldn’t do it, he’d make it up to you x2 the next day. He immediately started spoiling you, whether it was food or sending you money for new makeup, it’s like he couldn't do enough for you. You were always beyond grateful, and would even tell him to tone it down a bit, but he’d always say, “Princesses deserve princess things.”

It’d been around four weeks of this, the dates would get more romantic, and his time with you only more cherished. Although the flirting continued to grow, he never made a move on you. You definitely didn’t want to be the one to initiate anything. Maybe there was a reason for him not wanting to get physical, but not even a kiss? It was killing you at this point, every night you spent just dreaming of what his pretty lips felt like on yours. Not being able to help your hands traveling down to your aching pussy. You were so horny it hurt, and nothing you did could satiate the feeling; knowing good and well that his fingers— let alone his dick could reach spots you didn’t even know were there. Your own fingers would suffice for now, but you would be leaving in just a few weeks, you needed to know what Ryomen Sukuna was like in bed.

So, the next time he picks you up, you make sure to look drop dead gorgeous (not like he didn’t think that about you regardless.)

A few days ago, he paid for your hair and nail appointments. Large knotless braids with curly pieces coming out of them, and the prettiest french tip set you’d ever got done. You told him you wanted everything to be a surprise, and that you were planning to get a new outfit as well AND that he didn’t have to send you money for that. But you know he did anyway. The plan for this night was a drive-in movie closer to the heart of the city rather than where you both resided. There was a wing place you loved, different shops, and the movie would be the last activity.

After picking up a new sundress, a black one with thin straps and a slit at the bottom, you felt confident enough that tonight would go well. You took a shower when you got home, lathered your skin with shea butter from head to toe, and put on all the gold jewelry you owned.

There’s no way he wouldn’t want to fuck you dumb.

As always, dinner with Sukuna was to die for. He was such a gentleman, making sure to pull your chair out for you, telling you to get whatever you wanted from the menu. “Don’t be scared sweetheart, want you nice ‘n full.”

You shopped for a little while after, well, it was really window shopping. You felt so bad that Sukuna was paying for everything, even though he always insisted. You decided to just point out all of the things you liked, kind of like a test— if he really liked you then he’d remember all these things for a future event.

The drive-in was dead. Which I guess isn’t too surprising, you can’t remember the last time someone talked about seeing a movie here. Nonetheless, this was your dream scenario. With basically no one to catch you guys, it was the perfect breeding ground (literally.) The movie was some rom-com looking thing in black and white which you begged to watch, only because you knew neither of you would want to pay attention. Once he grabbed some popcorn and soda from the concession stand, he pulled up in front of the big projection, claiming he needed to be as close as possible because of his eyesight. After a few minutes of pretending to be interested, you turned to him and finally broke the ice.

“‘Kuna, do you like me?” Sukuna couldn’t believe the question.

“Of course I like you baby, why else would I be here?”

“Well,” you started, “I don’t know…”

“Oh, you know.”

“I know you like me, it’s just like— we aren’t like… you know.”

“Gonna have to use your words sweetheart.”

You looked forward as you tried to find the best way to say this, you decided to just rip the bandaid off.

“We haven’t kissed! Or anything! You just hug me or wrap your arm around my waist, but we haven’t done nothin’ ‘kuna. And I’m not sayin’ that’s any indicator of how much you like me, I’m just sayin’ it’d be ni—”

You anticipated this kiss, not only because you did everything in your power to set it up, but you could feel Sukuna’s eyes latching onto the way your lips moved while talking. His lips were just as soft as you imagined, tasting like cherry carmex and popcorn. His hand found its way to the side of your face, cupping it gently until he moved it to tilt your chin up towards him. Your mouth opened a little from the change in angle, giving Sukuna’s tongue access to the warmth yours had to offer. He melted deeper into the kiss, and so did you, as it continued to get more sloppy and wet. You could tell he was eager, swirling and dancing on the tip of your tongue, sucking it harshly like he was trying to gather as much saliva as possible. Just to pull back and have it leak out of his mouth, dripping down both his and your chin. It was downright nasty the way your fluids were colliding, but it turned you on an unbelievable amount. Whining and groaning into him, rubbing your thighs together, lacking the correct amount of friction from wearing a dress instead of pants.

Your hand started traveling to his chest and lower, and he could tell you were really riled up at this point simply from the way you were tugging on his shirt. He pulled his lips off yours, making you reach out for him still since your eyes were closed. When you opened them, you were able to see the true mess you two caused. Sukuna was drooling, his heavy lidded eyes not daring to move from your frame. His hair was everywhere, and you couldn’t be happier with your hairstyle of choice.

“Fuck baby,” he said while rubbing on the sides of your stomach, “I really need you. I’ve been needin’ you. Yer just so damn sexy, of course I’ve been wantin’ to do stuff. Just didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” He leaned in to kiss your cheek and up to the shell of your ear, “Never want you uncomfortable.”

And that sent you over, you cupped his face with both of your hands, kissing him hard. He growled from your sudden dominance, and with a few swift movements, pulled his seat back and slid you over the middle console and into his lap. Your dress hiked up to your thighs once you straddled him, allowing Sukuna to feel just how wet you were. With one hand on your face, and the other on your waist, he slowly made his way down to your cunt.

“So fuckin’ wet for me,” he whispered against your lips, making slow circles on your puffy clit. “This f’me? Say it’s for me babydoll.”

“It’s for you ‘kuna, it’s all for you. Please–” His fingers slid your panties to the side, revealing just how sticky you were for him. Your pussy was basically crying to be touched, and Sukuna was a gentleman, of course.

His mouth never left yours, left hand now resting behind your neck, while his other is furiously rubbing your bare clit. Your moans were being swallowed by Sukuna’s mouth, and when the pleasure finally got to be too much, you suddenly threw your head back with a yelp. Catching yourself immediately, you press your forehead into his.

“‘M sorry, fuck, ‘m sorry— it’s t-too much.”

“Don’t apologize princess, I love seein’ you act like this. So slutty.”

Your tits have barely been able to stay concealed in your already showy dress. They spilled out on their own from your sporadic movements, and once Sukuna could see one, he dropped everything to unveil the other and fondle them both. You kept grinding on his very hard dick, keeping up the rhythm he set up for you while he went to town on your boobs. Massaging them, pinching and flicking the nipples, mumbling things like “fuckin’ shit they’re so soft,” and “need to fuck you.” It wasn’t long before he popped one into his mouth, sucking on it, making it soo much more sensitive. You were squealing at this point, Sukuna looked up at you to see the tears forming at the corner of your eyes. With a ‘pop’ he brought his attention back to your beautiful face. Somehow fucked out just from dry humping. How cute, he thought to himself.

“Look at me, princess.” You struggled, but your eyes met his, still striving for your release. “‘M gonna fuck you, okay? Is that what you want?” You started nodding your head yes like a damn puppy.

“Need to hear you say it princess. Tell me you want it.”

“Wan’ it s-so bad baby, fuck me, I need you to fuck me.”

The thing about pick-up trucks is that there’s not really a backseat, which means you’d have to ride him right where you were. This wouldn’t have been a problem, until Sukuna quickly pulled down his pants and boxers, revealing probably the biggest dick you’ve ever seen. It was the fucking length that scared you. It wasn’t too thick, but girthy enough that it, plus his length, would have your legs shaking for days. He gave his dick slow strokes while you took off your dress, suddenly feeling embarrassed from being the only one naked. He could see you get self conscious by the way you try and hide yourself like the day he met you.

“Whatcha lookin’ at me like that for,” his eyes were still focused on yours while he prepared himself, licking his lips like he was genuinely going to eat you later.

“I can’t look at ya? You just look so damn good sweetheart. Can’t believe yer all mine.”

“You don’t have to gas me up now,” you said looking away.

“Nuh-uh,” he grabbed your cheeks and turned your face back to his, “I’ma always tell you how good you look. Don’t act so shy now baby.”

Your pussy clenched around nothing at his statement, still leaking from the previous foreplay. He pulled your forehead to his lips, kissing it tenderly, and when he let go of your face he asked you one last time if you were ready. You whisper out a shy yes and grab his dick cautiously, lining it up with your entrance as you slowly lower yourself onto it. You let out a sharp grasp as Sukuna rests his hands on the sides of your hips, trying to assist in any way he can. Once you’re close to bottoming out, he starts whispering praises.

“Doin’ so good babydoll.”

“Look at you takin’ me so well.

Every time he spoke your pussy would clench around him, making him hiss and choke back a whine. Once he was all the way inside you, you let out a breathe you didn’t realize you were holding. You raised your head to look at him instead of the way he was stretching you out. There’s that smirk again. One of his hands finds it’s way back to your clit, rubbing slow circles like before to help you relax. You were so tense but you tried to keep a level-headed face, even though it literally felt like you were being split in two.

You felt your walls get used to his size and shape, feeling them contort and mold into Sukuna’s cocksleeve. With that, you start riding him slowly, using his shoulders to stay balanced. You got the hang of it quickly and began picking up pace. He was still stimulating your clit, using his other hand to keep guiding your body up and down. It was clear that you were struggling to take him all in though, pausing every few seconds to catch your breathe or readjust yourself. And this would just not do for Sukuna.

He gripped and slapped your ass hard.

“Gotta do better than that baby.”

Smack

“C’mon sweetheart, put your fucking. back. into. it.”

Each emphasis on a word was coupled with a hard thrust and loud whines coming from the depths of your throat. The sounds you were both making at this point bounced around the truck. There wasn’t a moment of silence and you felt blissful. Lulling your tongue out just for Sukuna to catch between his teeth; moving his hand back to bully your clit, and using his free hand to grab your face and continue fucking his hips up into yours. He was growling obscenities into your ear, “Yeah baby, just like that keep fucking me like that.”

“Sukuna, please! Fuckfuckfuck I can’t,” you were bouncing on his dick beautifully, tits bouncing in unison and he truly believed you were unreal.

“Yes you can baby,” he gave your face light slaps, “keep those eyes open, keep lookin’ at me baby. Doin’ so good, I promise.” You were leaking like a faucet down his dick and balls, and with a certain thrust, you were sure he was hitting your cervix. The string of cries that came out of your mouth made him go faster, harder, knowing that he finally found the spot that makes you weak.

“Am I makin’ you feel good baby?”

“Mhmm, y-yesss, so so good.”

“Yes who?” Your eyes were crossing trying to look at him, confused at what he meant at first, but as his thrusts got rougher you knew exactly what he was getting at.

“Y-yes daddy, it feels so good.” You were slightly embarrassed by the things you were saying, the noises too. You felt so dirty, but in a good way. Searching for your release that was so close.

Sukuna was close too, but he didn’t want that to come before he made you gush all over his dick. When he found his way to your neck, kissing and biting and sucking on your precious skin, you were done.

“Fuck daddy right there!”

“Here sweetheart? You like this?”

“Yesyesyes don’t stop please don’t stop–” and with a cry you were creaming all over Sukuna’s dick. Your pussy clamped down on him so tight, he couldn’t help but look down at the beautiful mess you made all over his thighs. He kept fucking you through your orgasm, causing you to become incredibly overstimulated. Sukuna was getting close, you could tell by his relentless strokes, forgetting any type of consistent pace. His hands were on your hips now, pistoning up into you as your head rested gracefully on his shoulder.

“Mm babydoll gimme a kiss, c’mere.”

When your shaky lips met his, he was sent into overdrive.

“Fuck ‘m gonna cum. Fuck baby, where do you want it.”

Absolutely fucked out, you tried to come up with some sort of cohesive thought. “I-insi..de ‘kuna. In m-me.”

“You sure? Tell me you’re fuckin’ sure, yer milkin’ me baby.”

“I’m s-sure. Please please just cum inside me!”

“Oh, fuckkk…” Sukuna’s load filled your pussy to the brim, leaking out to coat the sides of his dick. He made you feel so full and warm. Finally stopping his thrusts, you hunch over his shoulder and he begins rubbing what feels like hearts on your back, humming into your ear how good you were for him, dick never leaving your pussy.

“Did such a good job princess. So fuckin’ good, are you an angel? Must be an angel, the way you dropped into my life like this.”

“Mmmm I’m your angel ‘kuna. I was made for you only.”

Although the moment was wholesome, your mind immediately flooded with the thought of you leaving in a few weeks.

How were you supposed to leave after this?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

hope you enjoyed ;) and let me know if i missed anything as far as my content ahead section goes!

tags: @aiyaaayei

#📕 my books #sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #sukuna x black reader #x black fem reader #jjk men #ryomen sukuna #jjk smut #sukuna ryomen smut #sukuna x you #jujutsu kaisen #had so much fun with this #need more #but it took me a solid 24 hours #off and on #😭😭

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it-happened-one-fic · 5 months

Text

His Fake Date - Ruggie

Author Notes: I honestly hold the idea of Ruggie tricking himself into feelings via the whole fake dating scenario dear to me. It's probably why the only two fics I've written for Ruggie (this one and the Strictly NRC Dancing one) make use of this trope. And, now that I'm thinking about it, I should write more for Ruggie. With that said, this fic doesn't have a song inspiration and, as per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ fluff/ romantic/ slight pining

Word count: 1080

Ruggie had an understanding with you. You and him were the two poorest students at NRC and that was why the two of you had formed a sort of odd duo.

And it had all started with a simplistic bargain that Ruggie himself had come up with.

Every time Sam’s offered a couple’s deal, the two of you would go and hit up his store as a fake couple.

True, it was a lie, but that hardly bothered Ruggie. After all, if Sam was going to have that sort of unfair sale at school filled to the brim with terminal bachelors and minimal couples, then Ruggie didn’t see how a little deceit could truly be viewed as wrong.

And then, lo and behold, Azul got the same sales idea. A couple deal. So Ruggie could see only one reasonable course of action. Collect his fake significant other and have a nice meal for their fake date.

After all, it was your five-month anniversary.

The trickiest part of this whole scheme was actually selling the couple's gimmick. Your first run-through had been a disaster from start to finish, and you’d barely made it out of Sam’s with the goods.

So your scheme has grown. Convince everyone, yes, everyone, that the two of you were a real couple.

Which was why Ruggie had started swinging by your class bearing random homemade gifts. Then he started studying with you. And then the two of you started having lunch together. And now, at long last, he’d spent almost all of the free time in his day just lounging around Ramshackle dorm, doing nothing more than chatting with you.

The two of you had gone from unlikely partners to fast friends. Now it wasn’t odd for you two to share a single lunch or a book, should you be studying.

You’d come over to Savannaclaw simply to help him out, and he’d sometimes help you out with your dorm’s upkeep.

By now, there was only one person who knew the two of you weren’t the real deal. Leona.

Ruggie didn’t know how he knew, but the eternally smug and sleepy lion beastman had figured out your gig in record time. And yes, he’d mocked it.

He even followed the two of you to Sam’s store when a sale would crop up to watch the two of you try once more to fool the shopkeeper. And though Sam didn’t believe the relationship was genuine, no matter how many sappy nicknames Ruggie sprinkled in, he also couldn’t refute it.

Ruggie assumed that was why Leona followed along. Simply to watch in amusement as Ruggie steamrolled his way into a pretty hefty sale before sauntering out of the store with you on his arm.

But Leona was also the reason Ruggie knew things were getting out of hand.

It had been a seemingly normal day, with you chipping in and helping out with the laundry. You’d both been laughing and folding Leona’s clothes before you had bid both the housewarden and your fake boyfriend a warm farewell.

Ruggie had waved you out with a smile, unaware of any risk, until he turned and spotted Leona grinning all too smugly at him. That was how he knew something was amiss.

And Leona hadn’t made him wait for it. Instead, the smug lion simply reclined back on his bed. Presumably getting ready to take yet another nap, but managing to squeeze in one final amused comment, “You know, if I didn’t know better, I might actually buy you and the herbivore were the real deal now.”

Those words had given Ruggie pause.

No, they’d given him more than a pause. They’d given him a full-on stop that had him having to seek the refuge of his room to think this all out.

You and him…. The real deal?

The young man couldn’t deny that it was a rather nice thought that definitely gave him the warm fuzzies.

But when had it reached this point? When had he gone from totally faking the relationship to possibly having an inkling of a feeling for you? Ruggie could feel the frown decorating his face as he called himself out on his own crap while simultaneously walking back to his room.

Inkling of a feeling? More like an all-out crush on his fake date.

He’d gone from scamming the businessmen around NRC to quite literally scamming himself into feelings. And now he was in deep.

And what was worse was that it had taken Leona pointing it out for him to notice! How long had he been flirting around with you and actually meaning it?

The very thought of calling you ‘Pumpkin’ now was all but mortifying.

A soft knock on his door had him perking up, his ears lifting slightly as he called out, “Yeah?”

His door opened, revealing you standing there with a slightly sheepish smile, “Hey, sorry about this. I totally forgot I was wearing your bandana thingie.”

You held out the yellow fabric with an embarrassed smile that had him grinning slightly because he recalled exactly what had happened. He’d looped it around you while laughing about how he couldn’t let his ‘Pumpkin’ catch cold from the chilly breeze that had been coming in through Leona’s massive window.

A cheesy moment that Ruggie now regretted every second of. And even so, he found himself taking your hands and curling your fingers back over his bandana as you looked up at him wide-eyed.

“Keep it. You’ll get cold on the way home if you don’t, and I’ve got more,” He managed a bright grin despite how horribly mushy he felt as you blinked up at him in silent surprise.

“Are you sure?” A tiny part of him died at your question.

Yes, he was sure. Please don’t question why he was letting you take something of his, which he would normally never do, and please don’t read into it.

But despite panicking internally, Ruggie managed to play it cool. He was a first-rate scammer after all, and that took acting talent.

“Yeah, I’ll just filch another one from Leona’s closet. And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let my love get chilled,” He let out a snicker and you smiled. Relaxing immediately as you bought his excuse.

After just another brief moment, you left once more with his scarf in tow, and he let out a sigh.

Falling for his fake date….. Well, it could certainly be worse.

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l44serbeam · 1 year

Note

Have you ever considered Mechanic!abby 🫣 like peeking up readers skirt from under that lil roller thing covered in grease😩 girls deserve to be pounded on the hood of a truck as a treat

OOOUUUUUUUU🙈🙈🙈😝😝🫦🫦 i like how ur mind thinks

i kinda got carried away and ended up with this detailed creation LOL i’ve been wanting to write abt abby for a while and took advantage of this request

— OIL CHANGE ★ 𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings: y/n is quite the raunchy gyal, y/n also has like a sorta y2k hot pink fem vibe, lowk perv abby, mentions of drinking, pet names, smut, heavy petting, oral (r!receiving), making out, the knee thing (ikik it has a clutch on my im j rlly gay)

yall read the requestttt😝😝

not proofread

“Lev!”

Silence.

“Leeeeeevvvv!!”

Silence.

“LEV!!”

“Um. I don’t think Lev is here.” A voice chipped from the front desk.

Abby tumbled through the door from the backroom of the auto-shop behind the counter, her face pink from what could’ve been heat or embarrassment and her eyes wide.

“Uh- Im so sorry I thought he was still around. I mean, he was like five seconds ago.” Abby laughed, her hand scratching the back of her neck. Y/n laughed, leaning her elbows on the counter.

“What you doing here y/n?” Abby asked, surprised by the sudden appearance. Abby had known y/n from around. She was a friend of many of Abbys friends and the two had partied together a few times, but had never actually gotten to know each other privately.

Pretty much all Abby knew about in regards to y/n was that she was incredibly attracted to her. The very first time they’d met, their friend having brought them both along to a party at a club a few months ago, Abby had interacted with the girl and immediately wanted her. Her hot pink dress that hugged her figure tightly and lips that glimmered with gloss that night called to her. Her cheeky and brazen personality read brat all over it with tons of pink glitter dumped on it and Abby wanted a taste of it.

Now was the first time Abbyd seen her in a casual situation and she couldn’t help but swallow harshly at the sight that her style didnt water down even slightly on a daily basis.

Her tightly cropped pink long sleeve, the hem of the sleeves decorated with a lighter pink fur, and tiny denim skirt that showed the entirety of her legs had Abby eyeing her up and down the second she caught a glimpse of her full figure.

“Needed to get the oil of my car changed and i remembered that youre like the car genius.” Y/n said, batting her eyelashes prettily at the muscular girl.

Oh she shouldnt be real. Abby thought to herself.

“You’ve come to the right place pretty. Pull the car round back.” She instructed, throwing a hand towel over her shoulder.

“Yes ma’am.” Y/n said coyly, walking backwards for a second to flash a slick smile, then turn around and walk out, Abbys eyes pasted on the back of her legs the seconds she turned. Her eyes lingered, like if she stared hard enough the skirt would lift even the slightest of an inch and show the bottom of the supple skin of her ass.

When Abby caught herself staring, she shook her harshly. You’re worse than a man. She reprimanded herself.

Walking out to the back, Abby set up her tools as she watched y/n pull into the marked spot on the concrete, her black ford fiesta decorated with stickers in the bumper and there was a thin pink line that was painted onto the sides. Abby couldn’t help but giggle at the large pink dices hanging from the interior rearview mirror.

Abby loved y/ns femininity and the way she wore it with no remorse or hesitation. She wore it for no one but herself. The men that dogged after her faced brutal rejection because she didn’t dress like that to appeal to them. No, she didn’t even like men like that. She did it because thats who she is.

And oooohhh the way that made Abby feel.

As y/n hopped out of her car, throwin her keys and purse into the passengers seat and shutting the door.

“Mk you can sit over there this wont take long.” Abby said, pointing to the row of chairs against the wall next to the car.

“Ou how luxurious.” Y/n sneered. Walking towards them.

Abby snorted and began getting to work, placing a tire lifter under one of the tires and securing it in the air.

Y/ns eyes lingered on Abbys arm as she pumped the car up, her braid falling over her shoulder and to hang next to her face. Her white tank was already painted with grease from her past jobs. In all honesty, y/n was at the car shop for more than just an oil change.

Saturday from last week was why she was really there. A party at a gay club that their mutual friend invited them both to and after an hour there led to Abby and y/n having quite the tantalizing conversation. A few shots of tequila in, Abby ended up sat on a bar stool, y/n standing between her legs slightly too close to me merely friendly. They’d interchanged slight backstories like where they worked, how they met their mutual friends, and the recents of their love life. That was the main reason that y/n was here.

Nah im not seeing anyone. Not looking for nothing serious really just like wanna fuck around with pretty girls. Abby said, close to y/ns face as to hear each other over the music.

If you’re fucking around with pretty girls than how come we haven’t. She responded, turning her head to talk into Abbys ear with a sly smile.

What do you think im trying to do right now dummy?

But that night ended up with y/n running out the club with her friend who was drunk beyond comprehension, rushing to get an uber to take the two of them to her house.

Y/n loved her friends and would never be mad at having to take care of them in a given situation, but damn it if she said she wasn’t cursing her friend shed be lying for losing the developing flow between her and Abby.

So when her friend had suggested to y/n she should get her oil changed, she caught the opportunity shes been looking for to get ahold of Abby, considering they never got the chance to interchange numbers before y/n had to leave.

Y/n was distracted from her phone when she heard Abby say something from under the car, her back laid on a wooden rolling plank to slide in and out from under.

“Sorry what?” Y/n asked, standing up and walking to the side Abby was.

“When was the last time you got it changed?” She repeated, Sliding out from under and sitting up, to wipe her hands.

“Hmmm like a year and a half maybe?” Y/n shrugged.

“Should’ve called me up sooner.” Abby said, looking up at the girl from her seat.

“I would’ve if i had a way to do so.” She responded, crossing her hands in front of her chest and leaning back against the pillar next to the parking stop.

“You have to light three candles and say my name into a mirror.” She quipped, making y/n laugh.

Suddenly, y/ns phone rang urgently and she looked down at the contact.

“One sec.” She said before answering, pushing herself off the pillar and turning around.

Abby laid back down on the plank, ready to go back under the car but before she did shoe caught a glimpse of lilac between y/ns thighs. From this angle, Abby had a clear view of y/n’s ass, the soft supple skin that peaked down. Abby couldn’t help but lick her lips, rather excited by the view.

Abruptly, y/n turned back around which sent Abby to frantically whip her head and search around her for some tool she didn’t even know she was looking for.

Little known to her, Y/n had caught it, realizing exactly what Abby saw.

I knew wearing good panties would pay off.

Y/n hung up the phone and walked towards Abby. “Sorry it was a friend of mine. Lost her cat and shes freaking.”

“Don’t worry. This shouldn’t take that much longer.” Abby said, going back under the car on the plank and continuing her work.

Y/n stood watching Abby work, her knees bent out from under the car, being lifted enough for y/n to see glimpses of Abbys arms and face. God she wanted her.

Walking up to the car, she leaned against it next to where Abby laid. “So what have you been up to? Been fucking around with some pretty girls lately?” She snorted.

Abby chuckled from underneath. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” She responded, her sultry voice muffled.

“Im just so curious Ab.” Y/n giggled, extending the o in so.

Abby rolled back out from under the car and laid eyes on the girl standing against the car, her arms crossed in-front of her chest and her legs crossed over each other. She had a mischievous glimpse in her eye, one that Abby wasn’t sure how to dissect considering it was always present in her eyes.

Y/n brought her leg forward and lightly kicked Abbys leg with her platform.

As she extended her leg, from beneath Abby could clearly see her clothes mound, her eyes frantically running around trying to avoid looking so obvious. When her eyes fell onto y/n’s own, she saw the bashful smirk on her lips and the tilt of her head.

She knows exactly what shes doing.

Abby stood up, quickly towering over the girl in pink. Out of instinct, y/n pressed her back against the car as Abby got closer.

“Is this what you came down here for?” Abby sneered, darkness growing within her eyes. Y/n looked up at the muscular girl with round eyes, her bottom lip catching in between her teeth.

“What is it baby? You want me to fuck you, is that it?” She said, confidence bubbling in her chest as y/n’s hand pressed onto her chest and looked up at her.

“You’ve kept me waiting Abs.” Y/n groaned.

“Me?” Abby chuckled, her hands coming up to the girls waist. “You’re the one that left running the other night.”

Before y/n could even think of replying, Abbys lips pounced on hers, the kiss immediately heated and desperate.

Their bodies pushed and pulled against one another’s, hands clawing at each other and the noises coming from their mouths obscene.

Abbys lips jumped from y/n’s own and onto her neck, biting and sucking at the space below her ear. Y/n breathed heavily, faint whines leaving her lips at the feeling of Abbys knee pressing against her clit, the heat of the denim and cotton in between their bodies sending bolts through y/ns spine.

Abbys hand wandered below y/ns top, her hand kneading and palming her breasts, the combination of stimulation making y/n automatically rock her hips lightly against Abbys thigh, searching for any kind of release.

Abbys tongue shot into y/n’s mouth to drown the growing moans tumbling from her lips.

“Keep quiet for me pretty girl.” Abby instructed before collapsing to her knees before the pink clothes girl.

“Fuck.” Y/n hissed under her breath at the sight of the larger girl sitting on her knees and looking up at her, her fingers hooking onto the lilac panties blocking her way.

“This ok?” Abby asked, her thumbs caressing the soft skin on y/n’s hips. She desperately nodded im response, Abby shaking her head.

“No baby, words.” She instructed.

“Yes Abby- please.” y/n babbled, her hands coming to push strands of hair that had falles out of Abbys braid behind her ear.

With a shit eating grin, Abby pulled down y/ns panties, wetness pooling on the material that made Abby groan.

Diving beneath the skirt, she didn’t wait for a second to lick a long, painfully slow stride along her, separating y/ns and ending with a flick on her clit.

One of y/ns hands flew to the back of Abbys head, the other cupping over her mouth to stifle the moans that fell from her lips.

Abby went to town on y/ns burning pussy, sucking and flicking in places that made y/ns body twitch and whine.

Her tongue caught itself in y/ns clenched hole, teasing it repeatedly as she felt y/n pulsate around nothing, pleadingly trying to grip onto anything given.

“Oh fuck Abby.” Y/n mewled, making Abby groan into her, the vibrations on her clit making her to fold forward slightly.

Abbys hand came to the back of y/n’s thigh, lifting it up and placing the back of her knee on her shoulder, the newfound angle almost making y/n scream as Abby went down on her.

“Shit Abby- Im close.” Y/n moaned, her grip on the girls hair tight and burning, making Abby more and more feral by the second as Y/n’s hips rocked against her face.

“Cum for me baby.” Abby mumbled into y/n’s mound, the very vibrations of her words sending y/n over the edge.

Y/n’s legs shook, her thighs coming to squeeze around Abbys head, her mouth falling open and her eyes squeezing shut. The rope within y/n’s stomach snapped and Abby didn’t falter her lapping on her pussy, breathing in and licking up all of y/w wetness as it dripped down her chin.

When y/n’s moans of pleasure started becoming whines of overstimulation, Abby separated, pulling up y/n panties that rested at her ankles.

When she stood back up, y/n immediately gripped her by the back of the neck and slammed into her, tasting her own juices on her lips.

“You’re good at that.” y/n laughed lightly as the two barely separated.

“Why thank you.” Abby snickered back.

Y/ns phone rang, sitting on the top of the car. When she reached for it and saw the contact, she sighed, swiping to pick up the call.

“Yes?” Y/n said sourly into the phone, Abby smiling into her neck at her attitude as she pressed kisses into it. “Are you for real right now?” She groaned. “Ill be there in 30.”

Y/n hung up the phone and Abby rose her head again. “The change is done. I just gotta make sure everything screwed it well.” Abby said, her face not even closely suiting the words coming out if her mouth considering she had a big smile plastered onto her lips.

“Perfect. What do i owe you?” Y/n asked referring to the oil change.

“A date.” Abby said without hesitation.

Y/n laughed at the sureness and placed her hand on Abbys chest.

“Consider it paid.”

#ˋ°•*⁀➷ ꜱᴏꜰɪ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇꜱ #lgbtq #abby anderson blurb #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson smut #the last of us #the last of us part 2 #ellie williams #joel miller #the last of us smut #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson angst #wlw #sapphic #lesbian #lesbian smut

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pumpk1n-writes · 1 year

Text

Tell Me About The Dark Places You Hide ~ Part Four

➥ in which the reader figures out that their best friends are the infamous Woodsboro Killers and decides to help them rather than turn them in. {ft. Mentions of murder; language; stalking; smut (in this chapter); whiny Billy; knife play (ish); bondage; hand job; use of darling, princess, babe, baby boy; aftercare}

Part Three; Part Five || Word Count ~ 1.1k {finally broke 1k!! Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with the rest of the parts!!}

Taglist ~ @wasawattpadkid @itzlovelyautumn @katie-tibo

The media you consume is your own responsibility and I will not be held accountable for your choices. I’m not going to block minors from this account, but proceed with caution anyway.

The mask lay discarded somewhere behind you. You’d tied Billy onto the dining room chair and both his and your knives were set carefully on the counter next to you. Your shorts kept riding up your thighs and your cropped shirt showed just enough tantalizing skin to make Billy wonder why the plan was to kill you rather than try and seduce you.

“What are you doing, Princess?” Billy asked. He thought he did a good job hiding the quiver in his voice until you laughed and patted his arm.

“There’ll be no more of that, babe. At least not until you know me better,” you winked at him. “As for what I’m doing to you, it’s all up to you. If you cooperate, it’ll be better for both of us. I won’t have to gut you and stab me and I won’t have to pull a frightened little girl act out of my ass for the cops to believe me.”

“And if I do cooperate?” Billy shifted his thighs uncomfortably, ashamed of the growing hardness there. He never knew he was apparently into bondage and knife play but if this is what it took to figure it out, hopefully it plays out the way he was currently picturing.

Your gaze shifted downwards and Billy realized that his uncomfortable movements hadn’t gone unnoticed. Your eyes shot back up to meet his, but he saw no shame, instead they were filled with the mischievous look he saw in Stu night after night. “Well that depends entirely on you, Loomis. What would you like me to do?”

Billy didn’t say anything, only staring into the depths of your eyes and hoping you didn’t make him beg.

“What do you desire me do to you, Billy?” You said his name with a strange mixture of contempt and arousal, and it only served to turn him on even more. “Use your words, baby boy.”

Billy barely trusted himself to speak without sounding desperate, but if that’s what it took for you to finally fucking touch him. “Please, princess, touch me,” he breathed, voice low and raw.

“Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, you don’t get to make demands right now,” you laughed, dancing around, his knife in your hand. You reminded him heavily of someone who belonged in an asylum, with the way you handled the knife and the insane laughter that escaped so freely out of you. Add that to how different you seemed in front of others, and you had a combustible formula that was sure to go down in flames.

“What do you want?” Billy managed to bite out. He was so hard it neared the threshold of pain now, and your repeated action of dragging the knife over his cheekbone wasn’t helping.

“I want in,” you said it so matter-of-factly that it took a moment for your words to fight through the haze of arousal clouding his mind. “Whatever you and Stu are planning, I think it needs a lady’s touch, and I want in.”

Billy nodded, dropping his head and breathing heavily. “Yeah. Yes! Fuck, whatever you want, please.”

“Excellent!” You clapped your hands. “Now I’d say you’ve been particularly cooperative, and you seem so needy sitting there, I’d be evil not to do anything about it!”

Billy nodded along, not really paying attention to what he was agreeing to but just hoping you’d start doing something soon.

Slowly, ever so slowly, you removed his Ghostface cloak and slid his pants down to his boots. His fully erect cock sprang out against his toned stomach and the tip was angry and red. Billy hissed as he made contact with the cold air, his head hanging backwards, leaving his neck exposed.

He startled as you dragged the knife over the veins in his throat, whimpering as your fingers trailed a featherlight, barely-there path down his chest. As soon as your fingertips brushed the tip of his cock, he jerked his hips up into you hand, moaning embarrassingly loud.

“Oh, my darling baby boy,” you smirked, leaning in to bite his earlobe. “So sensitive.”

And that was the last warning he got before your hand was fully wrapped around his cock, thumb periodically swiping over the tip. Billy’s hands strained against the ropes. He wanted to grip your waist, longed to feel your hair under his fingers, shower you with the same pleasure you were giving him. He whimpered against your shoulder, leaning in to bite the base of your neck.

“Let me touch you, princess, please,” Billy whined. “Let me make you feel good.”

Your lips ghosted over his. “Not today, baby boy. Tonight it’s your turn.”

In an act of boldness, Billy captured your lips with his own, drawing you in for a desperate kiss. He bit your bottom lip, exploring your mouth. Until the pace you’d set with your hand increased and he groaned, his head dropping back and mouth falling open.

“Let it go, darling. Let it go.”

That was all the encouragement Billy needed to come undone in your hand. He moaned and whined as you stroked him through it, waves of pleasure wracking through his body.

Billy opened his eyes after a few minutes to see you carefully and tenderly washing him off with a damp towel, having untied him already. He realized he was laying down in the couch and wondered if he’d passed out. Shortly after that thought had shot through his mind his cheeks reddened in embarrassment as he realized he’d come so hard in your hand he had blacked out.

“Can you stand?” You asked, helping him sit up. He waved your helpful arm away, despite his gratitude. He wasn’t used to being taken care of after sex, and he had to admit, letting go of control and letting you take the lead had led him to the biggest orgasm of his entire life.

He stood up without an issue, and quickly gathered his clothes, getting dressed without a word. You saw the look on his face and didn’t attempt to start a conversation, instead sitting in the couch where he’d been and watching him leave.

School tomorrow would be awkward.

#billy loomis scream #scream #scream 1996 #billy loomis #scream 1996 smut #scream smut #smut #billy loomis smut

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naushtheaspiringauthor · 3 months

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You know how there are those fics where a runaway noble reader ends up on Sturmhonds ship and she doesn't know who he is but he knows who she is and shenanigans ensue

Picture this: both Nikolai and Reader ended up doing the whole "tailor myself and sailing the seas" thing but Reader figured out who Sturmhond is while Nikolai has no clue. Because there's no way two people had the exact same idea. Basically a reversal of the trope. Now let the shenanigans ensue

The one left behind - Nikolai Lantsov x reader

A/N- I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it😽😽 Tysm for sending this request!!

Summary- When a rather intriguing girl joins Sturmhond's crew, he finds himself quite drawn to her. However, he still reminisces about the one he'd left behind.

You closed your eyes for a brief moment, allowing the cool breeze to wash over your skin. It was comfort, a sense of hope and most importantly, your freedom.

You'd finally gotten out of your wrecked household that withheld a father who wished for you to be dead only because you'd refused to abide by his terms.

You were the daughter of a noble, one who had esteemed relations with the royal family, with you having become friends with the youngest prince. Who was however long since left the country and even though you missed him with all your heart, had no way of reaching him.

From education to numerous life skills, your parents had provided you with all. However they both had different paths chosen for you to tread upon.

Your mother had wished for you to acquire a position in Ravka's council.

Your father however, had wished for you to go to Fjerda and work as a spy for your country.

Though no one had ever bothered to ask you what you wished for.

When your mother had passed, your father had been forcing you to leave for Fjerda.

When you'd opposed, he'd only wished to get rid of you in whatever way possible.

So you had ran, from a life that was none less than a prison, from a father who no longer wanted you because you opposed to living your life his way.

….......................................

You took in your new features in the scroungy mirror at the small boarding house you'd been living in.

You'd gotten a tailor to alter your face so that you wouldn't be recognized as your father had organized a search party for you.

Your hair was still the long black locks, but your nose was now far sharper than it'd been, and y/e/c eyes were now a light blue, rather tacky for your taste but it was necessary.

The tailor had told you that she'd put in her best efforts to make it last as long as possible, but you'd still need to get it fixed up occasionally.

……...............................

The next morning, you set out to meet with some crew member of the infamous Volkvolny, a ship commanded by some young pirate as you'd heard.

You sat at one of the tables of the inn you were supposed to meet at. However, the girl hadn't even shown up yet.

Just when you were about to leave, you noticed a girl with close cropped hair entering. She had two axes slung around her back and her features stated that she was Shu.

However, you observed that she hadn’t come alone. She had some red-haired boy wearing a teal coat by her side.

“You’re the Tamar I was to talk to?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as she and the boy sat across you.

“Yes. Sorry for the delay. The captain wished to talk to you himself” She responded, glancing at the boy

You eyed him with your eyebrow still raised. Few strands of his red hair fell near his eyes. His hazel eyes gleamed in the light, and his nose was slightly crooked. He appeared no older than twenty, too young to be a captain.

“You’re the captain?” you asked, giving him a rather judging look.

“I believe I am,” he spoke with a proud grin. His voice sounding familiar to you for some reason. “I happen to be the infamous Sturmhond” he continued to grin

You glanced at him for a moment. There was something familiar about his eyes, but you just couldn’t place it. Perhaps you’d just started feeling so homesick that you’d begun to imagine things now.

“Novak, Evanna Novak” you finally respond, clearly not returning his expression

“Well’ he cleared his throat. “Miss Novak, to have you as a member of my crew, I must ask you what skills do you happen to possess?” he asked

“I’m an engineer, can help in fixing up your ship but I’ve also got training in combat” you spoke

The boy leaned back and finally spoke after a short moment, “Well, I believe we do happen to need an engineer aboard the Volkvolny. Name your price”

“I just need enough to fulfill all my requirements, no more no less. But there's another” you responded

“What's that?”

“I get to keep my freedom” you lifted up your chin, you'd come all this way for one thing only and you weren't going to let it slip away again.

“Well, I believe we have a deal then” the boy responded. He clasped his hands in front of him as he stood up, “We leave at sunrise, meet us at the docks”.

He walked out of the inn with Tamar by his side. Though there was something strange about him that you couldn't quite place.

.......…............................

“I have an idea” Nikolai sprang up from his chair

“What's that?” you asked, not even bothering to look up from your book.

“Someday, I can get a ship that I'll be captain of and then we can sail the seas together” he spoke with great zeal.

You set down your book and met his gaze. “Do you really think my parents would let me?”

“We'll be adults by then, you could make your own decisions”

You chuckled slightly, “No one cares about what I want, Nikolai. They'd still take all the decisions of my life”

“I do, I care about what you want” he responded, giving you his innocent look that would make you agree to whatever he'd say.

..........................….....................

You reached the docks at the exact time you'd been given. You hadn't exactly slept the whole night. Whether it was thrill, fear or something entirely different, you didn't know, you no longer cared. You only wished to be free.

You stepped on the sleek schooner that was the Volkvolny. The ship was quite a marvel and you were intrigued by the fact that the young captain had somehow managed to acquire it.

You were introduced to the crew by Tamar and her twin brother Tolya who perfectly resembled the structure of a massive tree and had the habit of reciting random verses of poetry mid conversation.

Sturmhond too, had greeted you as you'd come. And seeing him shouting orders to his crew and grinning along with them made you wonder how he'd managed to do it all.

......…...............................…

“I don't like these parties in the slightest” you grumbled, leaning against the railing of the balcony.

The queen had thrown yet another ball for some reason and the only reason you'd come was because you'd get to see Nikolai. Though your immense hatred for the event hadn't deteriorated in the slightest.

And what made you even furious was how perfectly Nikolai managed to do it all. Making small talk with the guests, occasionally annoying his brother Vasily and being the center of attention.

He was far cheery and great at conversing for a sixteen year old boy.

“Me neither, these people are so fake it's maddening. Nothing coming out of their mouths might be true” Nikolai agreed with you

“But you do it all so perfectly, it's very annoying” you rolled your eyes

“Well, for being a royal, learning to charm people with words is a necessity. Even if it's not true in the slightest” He shrugged.

You grimaced at his words and turned to look at the starry sky, without the slightest hint of his gaze on you.

He was mesmerized by how beautiful you looked. You were majestic to him at all times, but there was something entirely different about you tonight.

Your long flaunty dress that you'd been forced to wear, hung perfectly at your shoulders. A few loose strands of your hair fell near your eyes and he had to fight the urge to tuck them behind your ear.

Your eyes gleamed in the moonlight.

You were majestic.

He slowly slid his hand near yours on the railing and gently placed it on top of yours, making your gaze turn to him.

You gazed in his perfect hazel eyes, fully unaware of how red your cheeks had become.

“You look marvelous” he spoke, his voice a mere whisper. “And I'm not only making it up to charm you” he added with a grin.

“Like you ever could “ you rolled your eyes, a smirk playing over your lips

…..........................................…

You'd been aboard the Volkvolny for about a week now. And you'd already become quite popular amongst the crew for not only your work but your quick wits and splendid sparring skills.

Sturmhond would always attempt to make small talk with you and charm you with his idiotic grin.

You helped him with his designs of a flying ship he was attempting to make along with his other erratic inventions, whilst he tried his best to learn more about you.

“So, why did you really choose to have this life?” he asked, abandoning his work as he turned towards you

“Well, I simply wished to live a life free from all kinds of burdens” you responded, not willing to share your entire life history. “I believed I could live my life by my own rules here, at the sea”

“I have to admit I agree. It's one of the reasons I'm here as well. Though I do think of all I've left behind” he glanced at a far corner of his desk.

For a moment, he appeared as a lost prince stuck in another fantasy.

That was when you noticed the massive deep green gem fixed on his ring.

You'd seen the ring before, but you hadn't really looked at it.

The Lantsov Emerald

Very similar to the one Nikolai had on him.

How had he gotten it? Perhaps he had stolen it from him? What had happened to Nikolai? Was he even alive? A thousand questions filled your head.

But you brushed them off, quickly regaining your composure.

Nikolai had stopped writing to you a long while ago, there was no point in thinking of him anymore.

He no longer cared for you.

…....................................…

You'd tried your best to keep your composure intact when he'd told you.

When you'd found out that he was leaving to attend the university at Ketterdam.

It was best for him of course, you'd known. But it still hurt you to part from him. The boy you'd been with since you were children.

The boy you'd known as every line from your favorite book.

You sat alone in the garden, the moon gleaming above you. Nikolai was to leave the following day, but you needed to be strong for him.

You couldn't make a fool of yourself in front of him.

You suddenly heard the shuffling of footsteps behind you. “You know you aren't as stern as you show yourself to be. You can be quite emotional” you turned around to see Nikolai.

He was dressed in a white shirt with the sleeves folded up.

He looked marvelous.

“I am not” you rolled your eyes.

“Come on, you've got to admit that you'll miss me” he grinned as he sat beside you.

“Well, I guess I might miss hearing your annoying chatter all the time” you shrugged

“See? Acceptance isn’t so bad” he grinned

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever”

You looked down at your feet. You were going to miss him, you knew it. And you had no idea when you might see him again.

You wished to speak up, to tell him how much he meant to you, how much you cared for him.

You wished to let him know how much you’d come to like him, even though you never showed it.

You wished to let him know how much you loved him.

But you couldn’t, you couldn’t muster up the courage to do it. And you believed it was for the better. Perhaps he wouldn’t even care once he’s gone. You hated the thought of it.

You reached your hands over to your neck and took off your pendant. You held it out in your palm, “Keep it with you, it’ll remind of you of someone waiting for you to come back”

He glanced at you before nodding. “I wouldn’t even dream of forgetting you” he smiled, taking it from your palm

You smiled, a slight tilt of your lips, perfectly displaying your melancholic feelings.

He brought his palm forward, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He then held your hand in his as he gazed deep in your y/e/c eyes.

“Promise me that you’ll write to me. That you won’t slip away” you spoke, your voice a mere whisper

“I promise. No matter where I am, I’ll never stop thinking of you”.

You gazed at him, your eyes speaking the words your mouth never could.

...………………………………..

After several weeks on board, you woke up one morning and noticed the change in your features in the mirror.

The effects of the tailoring were wearing off.

You’d gone to Tolya and had him tailor it back. You’d explained to him and Tamar about your need for it and they’d promised to keep your secret safe.

Later during the afternoon, you’d went to Sturmhond’s cabin to retrieve the designs of your latest project from him, only to find that he hadn't been there.

As you thought to leave, you noticed the very document you’d come for was on his desk. However, as you picked it up, you heard a sharp clatter.

As you bent down to pick up whatever had fallen down, you truly realized what it’d been

You felt as if your heart had stopped beating. You couldn't fathom the sights in front of you.

It was your pendant.

The one you'd given to Nikolai as a parting gift.

The Lantsov Emerald and now, your pendant? You couldn't formulate a plausible explanation for all of it.

Sturmhond, the captain with a terribly made up name. The Captain who was too young to be one. The boy who had far too polite manners to be a Pirate- Privateer as he'd say.

The boy with the too familiar eyes and voice.

Was it truly him?

Was it truly, Nikolai?

..….......................................

Nikolai had never been this conflicted in his entire life.

He couldn't stop himself from glancing at a certain new member of his crew whenever she'd be working.

He couldn't stop himself from attempting to strike a conversation with her at any given opportunity.

He couldn't stop himself from falling in love with her.

But he still thought of her, the one he'd left back home. He still yearned for the sight of her, the gleam of her eyes in the moonlight, her rare but marvelous smile, he still yearned for her.

Though he knew he'd abandoned her. He had stopped sending her letters when he'd left the university and had decided to be at the sea.

Part of him believed that she'd forgotten him, that she'd have moved on, no matter how much he despised the thought.

He wished he would have spoken when he had the chance. He wished he'd told her how much he loved her, how much it broke his heart to leave her, how much she meant to him.

But he hadn't, and he despised himself for it.

...........................................…

You noticed the effects of Tolya's tailoring were wearing off. However, you chose to leave them be for a while.

You needed the real you for the moment.

You saw Sturmhond standing by himself near the railing.

You noticed the moonlight making something in his palm gleam.

The pendant, you realized.

He had it in his hand.

You stepped closer to him as you spoke, “Captain's having trouble sleeping?” you asked.

He hastily put the pendant away in the pocket of his overcoat. He regained his composure before speaking, “Yeah. Could ask you the same though” he shifted his gaze towards the sea again

“Well, I was going to, but then I happened to see a certain melancholic boy. Something on your mind?” you asked, furrowing your brows.

“No, not really” he shrugged as he looked down

You raised an eyebrow, clearly not fooled by his lie.

He wasn't okay, you knew it.

You'd seen it.

And perhaps, it was time you'd told him the truth. But you first needed to know what was on his mind.

“You can talk to me, you know? Something's off with you, and you aren't very good at hiding it” you rested your hands on the railing

He sighed, as he lifted his head up.

“I- When I decided to leave home, I left a lot behind. There's a lot I don't really miss, but one” He took out the pendant from his pocket. “I yearn for her. And- and I don't even know if she even thinks of me anymore” his voice trembled as he continued

Your heart stopped.

He believed you'd forgotten him. He thought you no longer cared. If only he knew how much you'd missed him, how he'd never left your mind. How you'd always thought of him during the sleepless nights.

“I, I don't think she would've forgotten that easy” you attempted to keep your voice steady

“I abandoned her” his voice trembled, he sounded immensely hurt. “I stopped writing to her, I- I never saw her once. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe, she's moved on, she has a better life, she is happy. That's all that matters to me” tears began to well up in his eyes.

His state, his words, shattered your heart. You weren't happy, you didn't have a better life until you'd come here, you couldn't be happy without him.

You couldn't take it any longer.

You took a deep breath before speaking, “She isn't happy, not without you, Nikolai”

He stilled.

He turned his head towards you in a haste. “Wha-” he looked utterly perplexed

“I know it's you” your gaze softened

“Wait,” His eyes widened as he finally realized. “It's not you, it cannot be” he turned away his gaze.

You gently held your hand in his, “Nikolai, look at me” you said.

He slowly shifted his gaze to you and looked, really looked at you.

The effects of Tolya's tailoring were now fully gone. Your true features had returned.

He let out a breath as he took your name. “Is it truly you?” he asked, his voice a mere whisper

You nodded, gently smiling.

“How? What are you doing here?” he asked

“It's a long story. It was either I went off to Fjerda or die. So I chose none of those” you shrugged

“What!?” he asked in pure shock

You sighed, “My mother passed away, Nik. I- my father, he wished for me to become a spy, go to Fjerda. I refused, so he wanted nothing more than for me to die. So I ran. That's why I needed the tailoring” you explained.

“I had my doubts but I wasn't sure if it was really you, not until I saw that” you glanced at the pendant.

His gaze softened as he realized the whole thing.

“You still have it” you grinned slightly

“Of course I do, it's the only thing I have that reminds me of you” He smiled with teary eyes.

“I, I'm sorry, for not writing to you. But you never left my mind, I never stopped thinking of you” he spoke after a short moment.

“I believed you no longer cared” your voice shook as you glanced down.

“I would never stop caring for you, love” he said.

He gently cupped your face in his hands, making your gaze turn to his. “I would never stop loving you” his voice grew lower.

Your eyes widened at his words.

You'd loved him. You had loved him all your life, more than one could ever think of. But you'd never anticipated him to ever feel the same.

You felt as if time had stopped at that very moment. There was none other but you and him, two hearts beating as one.

“I love you, I always have” he said, his teary eyes gleaming

Your gaze softened.

Your face broke into a soft, relieved grin as you spoke, “I love you too Nik, I always will”.

You gazed deep in his bright hazel eyes before pulling closer to him.

You gently pressed your lips to his, the action making a part of you heal that'd been broken too long.

You pulled away from him in a short moment. You met his gaze before he pulled you in, kissing you in the way he'd always longed for.

You smiled as you pulled away from him.

“I have to admit I had no idea it was you” he spoke with a beatific grin

His expression grew somber. “You've changed,” he said.

“Time and experiences change all of us” you responded, glancing down.

“Not you though, you're still the same annoying blabbermouth you were” you joked, regaining your composure in a haste.

“Oh admit it, you love it” he grinned, teasing you.

“I believe I do,” you smiled.

“Promise you'll remain by my side from now?” he asked after a short moment

“Only if I get a promotion” you shrugged, grinning.

“Alright then” he chuckled, and took your hand in his.

Your fate had brought you back to the life you'd once been stripped of. It had brought you back to him, and you were entirely grateful for it.

please lets just pretend he had the lantsov emerald before when his mother gave it to him in ruin and rising it was necessary for the plot okayy

anyways i hope i wasnt the only one giggling by the end

#nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov fanfiction

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