#yes i am back on my bullshit as you can see

[avawritesthings]

crash n burn | ln4

✦ word count - 1,358

✦ summary - y/n crashed out of the 2024 shanghai gp, and lando can’t help but worry.

✦ warnings - injuries, angst(?), worried lando, racing/f1 inaccuracies!!

✦ ava’s notes - f1driver!reader for this one, folks. sorry for the inactivity, i haven’t had the writing spark in a while. but here i am, and with a new sport, no less! i'm also trying smth new, no Capitalization...not sure if ya'll are into it. i got into f1 a couple weeks ago, so there might be several inaccuracies, but i tried my best. thank you for the support 🫶🏼 (sorry for the long ass note LMFAO)

THE FAINT SOUNDS OF VOICES reached your ringing ears. you could feel your head pounding from within the totaled car. suddenly, the simple act of opening your eyes was the hardest task for your shuddering body.

“y/n, are you alright?” the voices of your engineers could be heard through your helmet.

“i’m alright,” you mumble, not sure if the words made it out of your dry mouth. as your hands reach towards your harness and disconnect the latches, you let out a sigh of defeat, a whimper slipping past your lips.

you knew the race was over. the helmet was next to come off, throwing it out of your car before shakily ripping off the balaclava from your sweaty head. the act of taking off your helmet meant you couldn't talk to your team, you knew, but you couldn’t care less. 

you felt like you couldn’t breathe with the restrictive head gear on. 

tears burned behind your eyes, but you willed them back, refusing to show weakness. you felt and heard people around you. medics, probably, you couldn’t tell.

they were whirling around you and the war, or what was left of it. you felt them help you out and you let them, too tired to refuse. as your almost lifeless body left the constricted space, you took a heavy, deep breath, the exhale coming out trembling.

hands grabbed at your waist to keep you upright. waving a hand towards the concerned yet roaring crowd, the medics helped you into the van. before the double doors closed, you opened your eyes as much as you could and stifled a sob at what was left of your car. 

you willed the strength to run your hands down your exhausted face. a blood pressure cuff made its way up your arm and you turned to the man responsible.

the thought of your family filled your head; are they worried? are they watching? your boyf-

lando.

you knew he’d be worried sick. turning your head towards the medic, you asked “c-can i speak to him? lando?”

the man – who you felt knew you were going to ask at some point – wordlessly handed you a headset, and you could already hear his yelling.

“-and none of you bloody fuckers have heard from her? complete bullshit. is. she. okay?!”

“lando?” his name spilled from your lips, relief ever so present in your voice, knowing he was okay — as well as he could be after seeing the love of his life crash, hard.

“babe? is that you? fuck- i hadn’t heard from you and i thought the worst.” he spoke, and you knew that if he wasn’t racing, he’d be running his hands through his hair like a madman.

“i’m okay lando, i promise,” you said, your hands gripping the microphone attached to the headset. “i’ll see you soon, okay?”

“yeah- yes, baby. i’m so glad you’re okay. i love you,’ and that was the last you heard before the doors of the medical van opened and you were being whisked away to the medical center in the paddock.

-

a mild concussion and a bruised rib.

you got off easy, they said. it could’ve been much worse, they said.

you just felt tired. exhausted. however many g’s your body was put through would have probably killed a normal civilian. soon enough, you saw the familiar head of dark curls jogging towards you. daniel wrapped you in a comforting side hug, running a hand up and down your back while he placed a soft kiss on top of your head.

“glad you’re alright, sugar,” he breathed out. “don’t know what i woulda done if you hadn’t ended up okay.”

a small, genuine smile appeared on your chapped lips as you leaned against his warm body. danny had dnf’d a couple laps before your crash, and you were slightly glad. it was nice to have a friend after your unfortunate end to the race. 

“thanks, avocado,” you acknowledged, a hand coming to rest on his upper arm. the nickname stemmed from an interview he did with a kid that butchered his last name, saying avocado instead of ricciardo.

“you talk to lando yet?” danny asked, knowing your boyfriend is probably worried sick.

“yeah, spoke to him on the way here,” you answered. “he was worried sick, yelling at his team until i got on the radio. sorry you crashed out, danny. it wasn’t your fault.”

“ah i see,” he teased, knowing how much the boy loved you and worried over you. “and ‘s alright, couldn’t do anything to stop it. appreciate it though.”

you squeezed his arm before letting go, knowing he’d have to do interviews and such. “you got somewhere to be? interviews ‘n whatnot?”

danny turned his watch towards himself and swore, making you lightly chuckle. the sound of your laugh brought a smile to his face and he squeezed your arm back, his worried eyes scanning over your tired body. “you sure you’re alright? i can probably push the interviews back a few…”

waving him off with a flick of your hand, you affirmed that it was fine for him to go. he left you with another kiss to your temple and hurried off, turning around with another wave and his signature large, beaming smile. you blew him a kiss and he pretended to catch it, and you smiled fondly. your relationship with danny had always been friendly and flirty, lando never felt intimidated. a brother & sister bond is what it felt like with danny, being teammates strengthened your friendship greatly. 

sleep was calling, but the crowd and bustling people kept you up. your eyes met the tv broadcasting the race, seeing the drivers come towards their garages. red flag, you correctly assumed.

fiddling with the zipper of your fireproof suit, you couldn't do much other than stay hydrated and watch the race. a few more people came in and visited you, mostly your team, to make sure you were okay and alive.

on the uncomfortable hospital bed, you tried to catch up on sleep. as soon as your eyes closed, you heard the voice of the commentators. “the race has come to an early end. y/l/n’s crash was brutal. we haven’t heard much about her condition as of yet…” their voices faded out as you heard commotion outside of your hospital bed.

minutes later, lando came barreling in. his fireproof suit was still suited up, and his eyes immediately locked onto your worn out body.

“oh y/n,” he whispered out. lando walked closer to you and carefully wrapped his arms around you, and you could feel his body buzzing from adrenaline. 

“hi, lando,” you spoke softly, wrapping your arms around his slim torso. you could feel him hug you tighter. “they didn’t have to call off the race, y’know…i’m honestly fine.”

lando stood up straight and his eyes raked over you, similar to when daniel checked up on you. “fine my ass. you look like shit, y/n. but i’m so glad you’re okay.” his hands ran up and down yours, seemingly to calm himself and you down. “fuck the race, i had to see if you were okay.”

“just a bruised rib and-”

“and? there’s more?” lando’s concerned yet exasperated voice berated you. 

you rolled your eyes before continuing, “-and a concussion. honey, i swear, i’m fine. they gave me meds for the headache and i’ve just been in here waiting for you.” you turned your head and grabbed his hand, your lips meeting the inside of his wrist. a smile formed on your face, trying to comfort him. 

he sighed out in relief, glad you were okay. he brought you into his arms again. “i just- i don’t know what i would have done if it was worse. i’m so glad you’re okay.” you could feel him press a million kisses to the top of your slightly throbbing head. 

a few seconds passed before you spoke up, teasing clear in your voice, “you’re gonna have to apologize to your team, y’know. your yelling was quite loud, baby.” 

he groaned out dramatically and chuckled, “oh, fuck off.”

--

italics they could never make me hate you :/

(like/reblog/comment/follow, if you want! if ur a little ghost reader, i appreciate u xo)

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #formula one #formula 1 #lando norris imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagines #lando norris fanfic #my writing!

[k-n0-x]

༺ ♱✮♱ ¨:·Something Stupid- Chapter 5·:¨ ♱✮♱ ༻

A/N- Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter took sooooo long to get out. I compensated in making it a bit longer than the usual chapters. I hope y’all enjoy :3

Playlist:

Navigation

Enjoy <3

꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🦢♕✶💫☾🥀꧂

“Well, did you enjoy that Emily?” You ask Emily as you both pass through the portal, and onto your porch.

“Yes! I finally get what you mean when you say Charlie and I are alike,”

“Sweetie, you are carbon copies of each other, it’s not that hard to come to that conclusion ,”   You smile, and jump when you remember something. 

“By the way, Sinners can be redeemed! I did some digging around a couple of days ago, but I forgot to tell you,” 

For a moment, Emily becomes silent, letting the news sink in. 

Shs squeals. 

“Oh this is amazing! That means that-” 

“That what, Emily?”

The voice of the Elder Seraphim makes you jump out of your skin. 

“Hi, Sera, uhm just, er,” You lose face in front of Sera, but she is more looking at Emily than you. 

“Where exactly have the two of you been? Emily I was looking all around for you today,”

“Oh she was just hanging out with me at my house today-”

“I didn't see you around at all today,” Adam pops up behind you.

Ah yes, him. 

“Were you not out all day today?” You counter. 

“Enough! I already knew that Emily was in Hell with you,”

Your mouth agape, you make an attempt to form a plausible excuse. 

“I uh, just wanted to help out with the aftermath of the extermination and I just invited Emily along, please don't punish her, I really pushed her into it,”  You grimace. Surely there’s going to be a berating headed your way.

Emily gives you a confused look, and you return it with a warning one. 

“Whatever for? It's not like it works anyway,” Sera, despite spewing her bullshit, has her head up high. 

The latter remark makes you stick out your chin, with a defensive attitude. 

“Uh, yes it does, actually,” You smile innocently.

Sera’s face pales. 

“What, what do you mean? Obviously, sinners do not have the capacity to be redeemed,”

“Yeah, the big shot’s right. Those little, dare I say, cunts have already fucked up their one chance, why give them another?”

Your ‘husband’ sides with the Seraphim, but Emily stays beside you. 

“Well why not discuss this in court then?” Your eyes, almost manic glares into the ones of the first man. 

“Wha- What the fuck man? You can't do that-Right Sera, she just can't-”

“No, she can… When do you want to hold the meeting?” She turns to you. 

“Perhaps the day after the next? So that we'll have time to prepare,”

“.... Very well. Emily, let's go,”

Em stays back a bit and mutters, “Whatever happens, I’m on your side. I’ll try to help in anyway I can,”

“You don’t have to,” you mumble back.

“Emily! Let’s go,” Sera hisses. The two Seraphims leave the patio of your home.

“Why the fuck does this matter to you so much bitch?” Adam points an accusing finger at you, which you slap away.

“Oh, I don't know, maybe I want to uphold true Heavenly values? You of all people should know that,” You hiss back. 

“Uh, no. Sinners can't be redeemed, now stop preaching all this dumb bullshit, and get ready, because you're going down, bitch,” 

You bite your tongue, because God forbid you send him into a frenzy. You don’t have the time or energy for his tantrum right now.

“Well, I'm going to bed bitch, God, I am so handsome, and cool and amazing,” Adam sashays to the bedroom, irritating you so. 

You pave a path to the living room.

You look at the couch.

You are not planning on sleeping on the same bed as Adam tonight. 

Or the next, for that matter.

You flop on the couch like a tired dog, and doze off. 

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

You’re in a desolate landscape. It's familiar. 

Oh yeah, you've been here before. 

Adjacent to you is the pedestal with the glowing ball. 

“Yeah, I’m not doing that again,” You step away from the monument and bump into something.

Or rather, someone.

“Sera? What are you- hey!” The Seraphim suddenly pushes you without warning, cascading you down into a dark pit.

Dark pit… This has happened before.

What the fuck is going on?

Despite your confusion you flap your wings in the darkness, but as soon as you get to the top of the hole again, some force drags you down. 

You look towards the surface, and see exterminators grinning (quite ironically) devilishly at the sight of your downfall

You spiral into the abyss, and the familiar heat appears. 

You hit the ground with a thud, and jump out of your couch, sun rays peeking through the curtains.

What was that dream? That's the second time today that you had a dream such as this. 

What's that glowing ball about?

Why, in the second dream, Sera pushed you into that hole?

Why couldn't you fly? 

Why, did you fall? 

Also, what is up with the ground at the bottom of the pothole?

It was so different from the  empty landscape at the surface, with its red hot coals.

You rub your eyes with your trembling hands. It felt so real, as if your hands are suffering the aftermath of being burnt on the scorching stones.

There's no point crying about it now. 

Time to become your own attorney.

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“So, let me get this straight. There's a court meeting tomorrow and you need Charlie  to be there. On short notice?!” Vaggie groans and rubs her temples. 

“This is the perfect recipe for disaster,” 

“Yah, honestly you fumbled this one toots,” Angel adds, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone.

“Vaggie, this isn't so bad. At least now we have solid evidence. Who knows? We actually have a fighting chance,” Charlie gives her girlfriend a comforting hug from behind. 

“I know it's short notice, and I'm sorry I'm asking for a lot, but it could help you guys immensely,” You ramble on. 

“Maybe we can sit down and look all of this over. I’ve brought some documents with me, and after possibly I could snatch Sir Pentious to go to the court meeting as well,” You start naming things like a list so fast, the words that leave your mouth are almost unintelligible. 

“Hey, maybe you should sit down. Seems like you're getting the jitters. Oh Charlie! Maybe you should brew a pot of tea, hmm?” Lucifer puts a hand on your shoulder and guides you to the couch. 

“Sorry for getting worked up about all of this, and all, I just have a lot on my plate,” you rub the head of Kiki, calming down to the vibrations of the cat's purrs.

“Yeah I could tell,” The demon holds your shaky hand gently, as if it was made of glass. 

“See, you're shaking. I'm assuming the hearing isn't the only reason you're so anxious,” 

You sigh. 

“Really, I'm fine. Don't worry about it,” You smile, and squeeze his hand.

The King slightly reddens at the touch.

Charlie enters the room with piping hot cups of tea with Vaggie, who was holding a tin of biscuits. Charlie squints at the sight of you and her dad holding hands. Instinctively, you pull away casually.

“Okay, so,” You begin to take out some papers from your bag and place them on the table. 

“Recently, St. Peter gave me receipts of who has entered Heaven in the recent weeks. Even though we know that Sir Pentious is in Heaven, we should still try to match up the dates of when he entered, and the day of extermination,” 

“It'll be good hard cold evidence, especially if we get a grab of Pentious himself…” you bite your lip. 

“We’d probably have to look around for more information… Would either of you know anything?” You turn to the three. 

Lucifer scratches his head for a moment. 

“Hmm, nothing that I could think of-” 

“I believe I could make an attempt to ask Rosie and the other Overlords, they like to be keeping an eye on everything that goes on in Hell,” The familiar nails-on-a-chalkboard voice makes you jump out of your seat, almost spilling the cups of tea on the table. 

Geez, can Alastor abstain himself from giving you a jumpscare just to make his entrance?

“Yeah, that'd be amazing! We really need all hands on deck for this,” Charlie answers for you.

“Thanks Alastor. You're so kind,” You add, just out of habit. 

“It’s no problem my dear. Anything to help out a friend,” 

Friend? Alastor isn't an enemy to you, but you barely have shared any proper conversation to consider him your friend. 

That title he used for you seemed, off, like he doesn't regard you as a friend. 

But why-? 

Oh. 

“Yeah, thanks for your kind offer Alastor, but I'm quite confident that us three have it covered. So can you please remove yourself from here? We need to concentrate,” Lucifer pipes up from beside you, a thin layer of rage decorating his tone. 

“Uhm, some extra help doesn't hurt anyone Dad, right Y/N?” 

It feels like everyone in the room is looking at you for your input. 

Thankfully, your saving grace, Niffty turns the attention to her.

“Why are all the bad boys becoming good boys?! Ugh! So lame,” She groans as she uses a brush to sweep stray crumbs from the floor.

Using this window of opportunity, you change the subject. 

“Okay, now regarding Sir Pentious, I should probably call him now…” 

“I still have the card you gave me!” Charlie takes out the card from her breast pocket, crusted with dry slime and lint.

“You keep that thing on you?” Vaggie cringes.

“Yes, and?” Charlie dials the number on the card. 

Briing rring

You hold your breath as each silent second drags on. 

“Hello? Who isss thiss?” A voice rings from the other end. 

“Sir Pentious, is that you?!” The Princess replies. 

“Charlie? Iss that you?” The voice counters. 

“Oh hi!! So as much as I want to catch up with you, I have a teeny tiny favour to ask of you…”

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“Ahh, I don't know Charlie. Thiss iss a very important matter, I don't know if I could handle it,”

“Pentious, by helping us, we could be achieving big! We need to either go big or go home! I know it's a lot of you, but, pretty please?”

A crackled sigh. 

“Oh alright…”

“Aaaa thank you so much Pentious! I'd give you a hug, but, you know… Ah bye bye!”

Charlie drops the call. 

“Seems like everything's in order now. I'll see you guys tomorrow?” You stand up from the couch. 

“Yes, and Y/N?”

You turn to the Princess. 

“Yes Charlie?”

She hesitates. 

“....Thank you again, for all of this,”

“Charlie, again, it's really no problem, okay? It's literally the least I can do,” You give Charlie a hug. 

It's all you can do. 

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“We are gathered here today to re-determine if sinners are able to redeem themselves via Charlie Morningstar’s Hazbin Hotel,” The Seraphim’s voice bellows from above. 

Cherubs and winners are below you, Charlie is by your side, and Emily is beside Sera, on edge.

“The plaintiff is Y/N, and the defendant is Adam, the first man. Y/N, I bring the floor to you,”

You take a deep breath and take out your notes. 

“Well, your Honour, I have receipts which show that a sinner has entered Heaven in recent weeks,” You thrust out the piece of paper, which Sera draws towards her. 

“He goes by the name ‘Sir Pentious’,” Your voice puts on a nonchalant tone, but it feels like your heart is about to stop. 

Sera reads over the piece of paper, her face as though she swallowed a particularly sour lemon. 

“Uhhhh, I call bullshit. I mean come onnnnnn,” Adam groans. 

“I mean, do you know how easy it is for her to just print that out. Don't tell me you're actually believing this?” He smirks, and gets a snicker from Lute beside him.

“Uhm actually,”Sir Peter pipes up from the stands. 

“I actually gave her that paper a while ago, if that can vouch for anything-”

“Shut up Pete,” Adam spits. 

“Order!” Sera’s feathers ruffle, and she tucks them back down.

“Unless the defendant shows indubitable evidence, I’m afraid the verdict still stands,”

“Sera no!” Emily cries.

“Emily, this is an official court meeting, one of which you aren’t apart of. If you can’t keep quiet, you would have to leave the courtroom,”

You bite your nail. You really didn’t want to pull out your winning card this early…

“May I call a witness?”

“You may,”

“Well I call Sir Pentious as my witness,” You nod towards where the cacophony of angels were.

“Well your Honour…” He hisses, his tail wagging as though alert. 

“I used to be a sinner, ass you may already know. During the lasst extermination, I wass killed in the battle… Then before I knew it, I wass up here in Heaven. That's all,” Pentious looks up at you, and you give a thumbs up along with a smile. 

“Any quesstions?” 

“No, you may sit down,” Sera starts, but a cherub pipes up from the audience. 

“What does he mean by “as you already know”? I for one didn't know about that,” 

Multiple angels, winners and Heavenborn alike, all murmur in agreement. Emily then bursts out,

“I'll tell you this. It's because Sera and I knew when Sir Pentious entered Heaven. Rather than going through the pearly gates, he appeared amongst the two of us.” 

And all Hell, (or Heaven) breaks loose.

“Silence! This meeting is adjourned,” Sera’s ringing voice brings the noise of the  populated stadium to a halt.

“Adjourned? What, why?” Charlie inadvertently voices your thoughts.

“My reasoning will not be objected,” Sera dodges the question.

“This meeting will be continued within twenty minutes,”

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“Charlie, what do we do? Sera clearly doesn’t want to budge, and God knows what lies Adam is feeding her,” you  pace up and down, words leaving your mouth as quick as lightning.

“Uhh don’t panic,” Charlie puts her hands up defensively. 

“She hasn’t made a decision yet, we could- erh” She stumbles over her words,  and fumbles a small yellow item out of her pocket and puts it in your hand.

“My dad said to give it to you if you got worked up- uhm,” Charlie steps backward a bit to give you some space. 

You look at the object in your hand, which took the shape of a duck that was decorated with the signature white hat, and an apple cane in its flank.

You squeeze it and it produces a familiar tune. Your eyes widen as you remember that it was the melody  you complimented just the other day. 

At the time, it was just obligatory praise, but you were absolutely smitten by the fact that Lucifer has taken it seriously.

The dedication, into making something like this, for you is…

Charming.

Really Charming. 

“Uhhh, Are you alright?” The Princess taps her foot anxiously, waiting for your answer.

“Oh yeah!” You look up, cheeks warming.

“I really love it. Tell him as such,” your stupid face breaks into a smile despite everything.

“I will. He’d be pretty happy hearing that, especially from you,” she gives you a playful nudge.

“You know… He likes you. Like- a lot,” 

Your eyes brighten, and Charlie squeals at the sight.

“Oh, I knew it was reciprocal!” She brings you into a massive bear hug.

“Charlie- I-,”

“Oh, sorry,” She lets go.

“I was squeezing too hard, wasn’t I?”

“No, no it’s not that. It’s that well- you know I’m married,” An gravelly sigh leaves your lips.

“I think we would be better as friends,” Your throat is scratchy. Why is this so hard to say? 

“Oh,” was her reaction, only enhancing your guilt even more. She looked so remorseful, you wanted to hug her so badly and say that you were lying.

And you were.

“Excuse me?” A cherub taps your shoulder.

“The court meeting is about to resume,”

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

As you enter back on your podium, you see Adam whispering something into Sera’s ear. He looks at you and makes a rude gesture, which you reciprocate.

“Enough! The court is back in session. Now, I bring the defendant to speak,” 

“Ehhh yeah, anyway my point still stands. I don’t think we want some sinners cavorting around , making trouble,”

 His statement just irritates you. How could he just say something like that?

“How do you know that? Pentious has been here for a while, and I doubt he has been making any disturbance,” are you picking the low hanging fruit? Yes. Is it helping your case? Also yes.

“Uhhhh yeah, but what’s the guarantee that others won’t? Geez, you’re so gullible,” He snorts like the pig he is.

“The defendant has a point. I feel like I’ve come to a conclusion, and it still hasn’t changed from the last session. Lute, please see Princess Charlie Morningstar out. Everyone else is  dismissed,”

All the spectators leave. Sir Pentious looks back and gives you a consoling wave before taking his leave.

Lute flies over to your podium and a portal opens behind Charlie.

“What? No!” You and Emily shout in unison. The General roughly grabs the princess by the arm and drags her through the threshold.

 Horns protrude from Charlie’s head, trying to resist the Angel’s force. More exterminators appear, almost magically and with one final push, the Demon princess is hauled through the portal.

“Charlie, NO!” You outstretch your hand, but it’s too late. The gateway closed with a whoosh sound.

“Now, was that really necessary?” You stare daggers at Sera, Lute and Adam.

“It had to be done,” was her response.

“Also, Sera, you said you wanted to talk to Y/n about something,” The first man’s tone is sinister, and is putting you on edge. 

“Oh, yes. Thank you for the reminder. Well, Mrs. Y/N, I ban you from travelling to Hell without a permit,”

“What, why?!” Your heart is in your throat.

“Uhh, coz I don’t want you there. D'you know how bad it'll look on me if I can’t control my wife?!” 

Sera puts her fingers between her eyes.

“Ahem, what Adam is trying to say is that, you clearly aren’t thinking of the consequences all of this may have. Imagine the state of Heaven if we just let any riff-raff in,”

You let out a short breath in shock. That was it. Game over.

“Unbelievable,” 

“Y/N, WAIT!-” Emily tries to fly to your podium

She was met with a slammed door in her face.

꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🐣♕✶💫☾🥀꧂

Word count- 3,111

Taglist:

@dionysusismypatrongod

@glowymxxn

@froggybich

@pea-shooter-brain

@hyperkaiperrose

@relatedsoda

#fanfiction #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #fluff #writers on tumblr #angst #Spotify #lucifer x reader #lucifer x you #lucifer smut #lucifer morningstar x reader smut

[randomnameless]

Something pretty interesting I missed in my earlier Supreme Bullshit reading.

When Supreme Leader is upset at Lonato, she wonders if going to help him would be feasible, which leads to this convo with Hubert :

You want to save the man, Your Majesty? If I may, we would march all that way for...what, exactly?

Hubert, imo, thinks Lonato as basically already done and dead, Supreme Leader earlier was pissed at Lonato not following their plans, he acted on personal enemity and will most likely have to fight both the KoS and the Kingdom so...

Imagine the consequences of leaving him to die.

Here we have an example of the Supreme Leader who made this route, so interesting : it's not Hubert who has all the dastardry in their duo, Supreme Leader too, participates.

When KT forgets that they gave her a sailor fuku to be "more free", they write her to be in a similar vein as the other red Emperors like Arvis, or, Gustadolph from TS.

It's not "we must save him" or "we can't let him die", but Supreme Leader directly evacuates all that pathos, and thinks, rationally, about the consequences of leaving Lonato reap what he sowed.

We need our vassals to believe the Empire will always come to their aid. Always.

It's PR!

Going to save Lonato is not about Lonato himself, she can't give a fig about the dude, but it's all about public relationships and keeping a façade for her war of conquest : her vassals need to believe the Empire will always come to their aid.

Whether they actually do, or not, is irrelevant - they need to believe Adrestia is "trustworthy enough" to come to their help when called.

And the sheer "we need them to believe" coming from Supreme Leader herself? It's really neat, she's lying/manipulating the events to build a perfect image for her vassals, or the ones who will become her vassals (by choice).

Compare this to the Kingdom/Church "we need to help the ones who need help!" and here, instead, we have "we need to make people believe we're going to help them".

Lonato doesn't act following the plan ? It doesn't matter, Supreme Leader will seize this new opportunity to advance her own goals : aka, making people believe the Empire is "trustworthy" and "reliable".

Good. Now make our plans known to the others. I'm counting on you, Hubert.

What plans? The "we must rescue Lonato because he is our ally" or the true "we must pretend to rescue Lonato to make other nobles join our cause and believe in us"?

And what is intereting is how this exchange, of course, only happens when she is alone with Hubert.

In the following event, where Barney is here and they talk about their powers :

Ah, you should see the look on your face! Did Hubert threaten you? Don't let it get to you. Yes, he's quite good at that kind of thing, but it comes from a place of caution.

Hm... Sure. It's Hubert's way of caring I guess.

But then comes the manifesto :

I want to transform the world into a place where no one has to feel trapped by where they came from.

What's that about the place they come from? Aren't we later in this route trashtalking Annette and the Kingdom peeps because they believe in outdated values like chivalry and sacrifices to protect their loved ones?

When I am done, it won't matter where you are born, whose blood you have, or what powers course through you—everyone will be treated as equals.

When she means equals, she means people will "believe" everyone will be treated as equals, just like Lonato was supposed to "believe" Adrestia was coming to back him up and not just, play minimal part to guarantee their PR but not much more?

That's what we're fighting for, and that is what this war is going to achieve.

But Hubert said this war is a war of conquest ?

So believe me when I say this—I don't care who you are.

And yet Barney is still a nobody commoner, even if pal with the Emperor, when Linhardt is a general?

I only care about what you have done and what you have yet to do.

And what Barney can do with that power you said you don't give a crap about right? But what if Barney's abilities are basically the result of their weird powers, can we still say their power/abilities are irrelevant ?

And, hm, maybe someone can translate this for me ?

人の力に拠る未来を創るため、 すべての犠牲を私は負って立つ！

She says this when she defeats 1k peons, and Googl'd it gives... "To create a future based on the power of people, I will bear all the sacrifices!" - so what this line about not giving figs about "what powers course through you everyone will be treated as an equal"? Could Amelie the lady from Mittelfrank who couldn't end up as a diva be treated like Leopold, or what?

--

Supreme Leader's words being treated as gospel is always imo hilarious, because Supreme Leader has some instances where, when KT's not busy dressing her up with some "Scarlet Blaze Power! Make Up!", she plays the role Arvis already played before her, the dastardly red emperor who manipulates and seizes every opportunity to reach her goals.

In Tru Piss we got the Javelins - but in Nopes? We get those "heart to heart" moments with Hubert that lampshade even more how much of an unreliable narrator Supreme Leader is - she still maintains care to have a level of PR and only confides to trusted people (yay Hubert!) or, in FE16, when, curiously, she has her mask on (Flamey doesn't need PR).

That's why we still have so many pretzels over Rhea's fate in Tru Piss, yes, Supreme Leader claims she wants to spare her when she adresses her in Firdhiad, in front of her allies and the people she has to lie to about her War.

But when she was with Billy? Nah, she can safely tell them that path lead to the death of Rhea and her people, something she rejoices about in their S support.

Too bad Nopes doubled down on "Sailor Adrestia" instead of giving us more of that "Arvis with a skirt" they teased us with (seriously that power move of betraying Rhea in the third chapter was just, that awesome from her part).

#3 nopes #it's upsetting because Fodlan is a treasure trove of missed opportunities #Supreme Leader is one of them #just imagine a game where the world isn't full of pretzels or doesn't end after a S convo if a FB #and Supreme Leader has to use her skills to deceive and manipulate people #instead of them being gullible idiot who suddenly develop amnesia about Flamey in FE16 #or are drunk on 'imperialism yay' kool aid #wait wait wait #I had the wildest AU nonsensical shit right now about Sailor Adrestia #dimitri being Sailor Faerghus #and Lorenz is Sailor Leicester #and twist! the real moon people are lizards and agarthans #some humans inherited their powers through nefarious means #or less than nefarious ones #and rhea was the original sailor adrestia #fuck i'm doomed

[dailycupofcreativitea]

(Based on this scene from the Simpsons) :D

#gohan is too pure and innocent for this world #gohan #son gohan #cell #perfect cell #yes i am back on my bullshit as you can see #comic #sketch

[wasyago]

we're at it again🕺

#jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #my art #sketch #back on my bullshit woo yeah woo yeah woo yeah #genuinely a lot happier with this design than the previous ones. the lighter metal looks better on him #and this one doesn't have a lot of detail (or any detail tbh) so it looks more solid and fun i think #and you can see im trying to figure out how gill would carry his sword around #technically he should just carry it in his hands and don't have a scabbard because its a longsword and isn't supposed to be sheathed... #but like... its not practical to always carry it in his hands. especially in a day to day life. because he always has the sword on him- #but he doesn't necessarily always hold it? like. he needs hands for stuff #i think i like the back scabbard better (even if i drew the whole turnaround for the hip one) just because it doesn't mess with his tail #plus that way destiny's blade is higher up and gets to look around at stuff and i think its funny #but then like... the cape is a little awkward if it has to go above the sword... #but its not a big deal. if he has a cape and armor on he probably holds the sword in his hands anyway #am i putting too much thought into this unnecessary detail? yes #am i rambling in the tags again instead of making a separate post? also yes

[kedreeva]

Eddie Munson's message as a character should never have been that he needed to stop running and fight to be a hero. It should have been that heroism can look a lot of different ways. It should have been you don't have to be a hero to have worth.

#eddie munson #stranger things #yes I am still mad #no I will not be stopping soon #but you're going to get meta tomorrow about something else #no it will not make anything better #yes it will make you mad too hopefully #also not for nothing but #Literally El's whole arc was the same thing #they tried to play it like it wasn't #but after spending a frankly bullshit amount of time #showing us how she was floundering without her powers #they dropped Mike going you're a superhero and El going Not Anymore #and then she has to get her powers back to save everyone #which like yeah okay she's literally the only one who can do that #but listen‚ look me in my eyes #she really could have used someone like eddie #to teach her that she doesn't need to be a hero to have worth #she's not listening to anyone else because they've all experienced her with superpowers #But Eddie didn't even see her defeat vecna at all #idk I'm just. the possibilities!!!!! the character development!!! #they could have had narrative parallels!!! #ugh

[ride-a-dromedary]

Alright, the jack in the box is wound, and the coherence is coming to me. Halsin and the dryad, I was talking about his response if the PC indicates that he is most comfortable after a supper large enough to induce hibernation:

"Mindless gorging...? No, that is not right. I did not realize you thought that of me."

And why this keeps catching in my mind is not necessarily what he says, but how he says it (so I am commending Dave Jones' voice acting here). The rest of Halsin's responses to incorrect answers are generally even toned and corrective; firm, usually, but not inherently overly emotional. Much like a teacher correcting a student. But this one...he sounds genuinely surprised and taken aback that the PC would even suggest that. The "no, that is not right" is even firmer on its heels. And the last part...the last part, his voice is smaller. Less forward. I would not go so far as to suggest hurt, but it is approaching that territory. It comes so fast after his firm no, that it almost sounds like something that slipped by accident. Like something that was meant to be muttered under the breath, but it slipped from him because the surprise was so organic.

Alone, it doesn't mean too much. It's a slight offense to an obviously nonfactual statement. And that's likely all it is. I'm about to read too deep into this, I am aware.

But combined with the other things spread throughout Halsin's dialogue, particularly the implication that he is otherwise used to people making commentary on his physical appearance or the physicality of his being, it suggests an extra layer of hurt. An extra layer of: "I did not expect this from you, of all people." Not quite a betrayal, but approaching one.

What makes it particularly catching, is that one of the things you are able to wrench (and I say wrench because getting Halsin to share mundane personal details about himself is a production - and it makes *sense* it's a production if a. We keep in mind that Halsin himself doesn't seem all too sure who he is beyond his preoccupation - which elves are prone to but Halsin also just has...a lot on his plate that have evidently stunted his identity formation - to the point where he even claims he was forgetting who he was, and b. If he is used to questions concerning himself and his experience leading into questions regarding his sex life or his physical activities, see: the companion banter with Wyll and Karlach, he likely...doesn't really keep ready details about himself personally on tap anymore. He's so unused to people being interested in Halsin, that he's taken aback when they are. It becomes the "In the moment, I forget everything and anything I like to do for fun" mentality - no one really cares about what I like to do anyway - if you will. He even goes so far as to joking that the PC may be a doppelganger because *why else would they want to know these things*) out of Halsin when you ask him about himself is that he has a sweet tooth. That he likes honey, and people find that amusing. He chuckles, but his face falls, evidently prepping for the PC to make a similar comment (and he attempts to beat you to the joke about that, though a PC can still call that "on the nose" to which he responds that there is little point in denying oneself if it doesn't hurt anybody - indulging isn't a bad thing). If the PC instead chooses that he should pay little attention to what others think, he gives that infamous: "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt" line. Which implies - regardless of whether he verbalizes it or not - things in this thread hurt his feelings. Comments or assumptions about his body and his person hurt his feelings. He won't say it, but they do. The PC is likely aware of this by this point in the relationship.

Halsin does not otherwise bring up eating or food to any level of significance or directness - the sweet tooth comment was the only time (you could assume outside of canon interactions that they've had other conversations between them and that perhaps this was brought up, but we are going to base this solely in what Halsin reveals in canon). He brings up hibernation, but specifically the sleeping part of it. Nothing else.

So, the PC then potentially goes ahead and makes an assumption of him during the dryad. How'd they arrive at this conclusion, as it obviously surprises Halsin that they did? It reads, very much, that the PC is making this assumption based on the comment about his sweet tooth, his comment on indulgence, and his physicality (note: the ha ha bear and hibernation thing almost seems like an afterthought - Halsin latches *very* quickly onto the "mindless gorging" part). All things that he has shown very evident discomfort (which is ironic because the question is when he feels most comfortable) or hesitance towards (he claims there is nothing wrong with indulgence, but never seems to indulge himself beyond sex, if that. Gee, what does that remind you of?)

Halsin entrusted this individual with this information, as frivolous as it was, potentially revealed that it hurts his feelings when people make assumptions of him, and this individual then went used that information and made the assuming connection: "So, this is a big man. He said he liked sugar, so he must like to eat and indulge. It must be his favourite thing to do because look at him." I am going to essentially ignore everything else I could have possibly heard, and make a bear hibernation joke that has nothing to do with sleeping being a comfort, but emphasize the eating part.

So, yeah, he's a little taken aback - incredulous, you might say. A little hurt. Resigned, almost. Because at that point, you can make a very logical assumption that Halsin came to a very quick snap realization that perhaps this person was not so different from the others as he thought. That it always eventually comes back to that. What else was he expecting? When has it ever been any different for him?

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #does this make sense i don't think it does but it's like...jumping from a - z based on assumption and you know what they say about that #note: this isn't actually this deep i am just making it this deep - also yes i'm aware it probably means none of this #i have a degree in bullshit #but this is also why halsin should have had a legitimate bear like build of a body #i understand why he didn't - but this is *verbatim* what fat individuals receive as assumptions on their person #*all the time* that oh you must overindulge yourself you must eat a lot you must you MUST #and in that thread of thought of halsin's relationship with his body #there's also something to say when halsin says 'my ears are all yours...any part of me is yours should you wish it' #because he *begins* by offering his sympathy and understanding...but follows it up with 'but if i am more valuable to you in this way #then that's fine too - i'm used to that' #almost parallels (inadvertently) astarion's: #'i think i'll enjoy having halsin around not for his wit or wisdom he'll just make an excellent shield if we're attacked' #he's self aware #and in regards to how halsin sees his body as a separate entity - a. body dysmorphia and b. i don't think he truly does #halsin claims he sees his body as a vessel to serve nature and wrinkles his nose at vanity - but i feel there is enough old hurt in him #that this can never be true of him even is he so desperately wishes it was #does he have a level of confidence in himself? obviously he does - but it is marred - it's an exchange #there's always going to be that little voice in the back

[eclipsecrowned]

going into a character's tag finding people thinking they're being allies when really they're being aphobes. weeps.

#like yes i get it i know what it is to think you see yourself in a character only for the author to swerve them #into the most heteronormative bullshit in the end. i think i can safely say we all read naruto as kids. #but this isn't.... making the character in question straight. she's still ace. therefore she is still a queer character. #but some people really think she's somehow not a queer character and the author is not an ally bc.... #she as a queer woman enters a romantic relationship with a man. #and they thought she was a lesbian. when all the evidence for her as a lesbian can be read as being ace as well. #ooh acephobia and biphobia all at once bc WELL I THINK SHE SHOULDA BEEN A LESBIAN. #and like. i am a lesbian and i think just let the ace community have this awesome character??? she's a rare gem as a character #let alone a member of a community that is usually only represented in JOAKS. #ok i had to work that out of my system back to memes hi. #vent //

[deadsetobsessions]

Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

#danny phantom #danny phantom is a little shit #dc x dp #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #bamf danny phantom #nightwing #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #Alfred is ninja #Damian is attached #damian wayne #bruce to the GIW: I don’t kill #behind him: a contingent of his pissed off kids #bruce: but they do #danny dropping trauma and lore in one go: lol #Damian’s way of bonding with people is stabbing #Danny’s used to ghostly violence as a way of being a friendly hello #he sees no issues with being stabbed #everyone else not so much

[greatooglymooglyyy]

Trust Me (M. Sturniolo)

chris version?, masterlist

contains: angst, verbal arguing, trust issues, accusations of cheating, make up sex, smut (soft!dom matt), a bit of fluff

a/n: yikes. i don't even know what to say. bone apple teeth.

“Are we really going to argue about this?”

I pause the motions of washing my face to glare at him through my phone. “Yes, Matt. We’re really going to argue about you hanging out with an ex-fling.”

He sighs and readjusts his hold on his phone. “We’re going in circles. I told you I’m not ‘hanging out’ with her. It’s a business collab.”

“Blah, blah, blah.” I mock childishly and Matt cocks his head. I know he’s confused at my sudden surge of pettiness and honestly so am I. I mean, we’ve barely argued at all in the last six months we’ve been together. But, something about this situation is stirring up old insecurities in me and I can’t help lashing out.

“If it’s really just work, why are you just now telling me about it?” I ask as I pick up the phone and walk back to my bedroom, plopping down on the bed.

“My bad, I didn’t know I was on a leash. I didn’t have to tell you about it at all. I called you out of respect when I found out she was coming.” He answers roughly. I’m about to respond when I hear his brothers calling his name.

“I’ll come over when we’re done and we can talk about it face-to-face, okay?” Matt says, softening his tone.

I don’t even reply. I just scoff and end the call, throwing my phone off the bed. I see the screen light up with a message from him but I don’t pick it up. Instead, I head into my living room to spend the day watching the only man who’s never let me down: Stiles Stilinski.

*************************

I must have fallen asleep somewhere around season three because I wake up to Void Stiles and someone banging on my door. Walking over and staring through the peephole, I’m unsurprised to see Matt standing there looking pissed.

I open the door slightly, peeking my head through the hole. “Wrong house.” But he just rolls his eyes, seemingly unimpressed.

“So we hang up in each other’s faces now, right?” He says as he pushes the door open wider and steps inside my apartment.

Sighing, I close the door and lock it, turning to lean against it with my arms crossed. “Oh, you remembered I exist? Only,” I mime checking the time. “three hours later. How was she? Was it good?”

Matt tilts his head and stares at me for a second, his eyes hardening, before he chuckles darkly and shakes his head. “You have me so fucked up today. Accuse me of cheating one more time.”

“If you want to be single, do that. In love or not, you’re just a man. You’re not the only dick-”

Matt cuts in, his face deadly serious again. “Y/N, who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Stop playing with me.”

His expression tells me I’m going too far, but the anger burning inside of my chest won’t let me back down.

I walk closer to him, stepping into his space “I’ve been there, done that with all the bullshit, Matt.”

“And I’m not them.” He snaps, ducking his face inches from mine. “I’m not stupid and I haven’t done anything to make you not trust me.”

Despite my best efforts, my eyes start to water and I look away. He’s right. I can’t punish him for someone else’s mistakes. I walk away and let myself fall backward onto my couch. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, my arm flung across my eyes.

Matt comes over, pulling off the back pillows so he can crawl on top of me. He moves my arm from my face and adjusts me so I’m looking at him. “I’m not going to cheat on you.”

“I know,” I admit, blinking back my tears at how stupid I feel.

Matt wipes the corners of my eyes and turns my face with his fingertips so he can kiss my jawline. “You’re the only one I want.”

“Even though I have trust issues?” I ask breathlessly as he moves his lips down my neck, the proof of his want hardening against my thigh.

He shrugs, sliding his hands under my shirt and gripping my sides. “I’ll fix them.”

I nudge him so he’ll look at me and wrap my arms around his neck to pull him to me. Tangling my hands in his hair, I press tiny chaste kisses to his lips. He lets me have my way for a few minutes but gets frustrated and takes control, kissing me harder and sweeping his tongue into my mouth.

I grind my hips up against his, needing friction, and he groans. Removing an arm from his neck, I reach down and unbuckle his belt, reaching into his boxers. Matt moans my name against my neck and begins thrusting into my hand slowly. He sits up slightly, pushes my sleeping shorts to the side, and plunges in his middle finger.

I gasp when his cold ring brushes my clit and lean my head on his shoulder.

He adds another finger, using his other hand to hold my legs open when I try to squeeze them closed. He reaches down and stops my hand movements, clearly getting too close, before leaning back down to place kisses on my face.

Matt adds pressure to my clit, laughing when I push against his shoulders. “You’re so fucking wet for me already, pretty girl.”

I moan out his name as an answer and he picks up the pace, curling his fingers to brush my g spot. He keeps up his pace even when I tell him I’m coming, his thumb rubbing circles as I ride out my orgasm. When I come down, he pulls out his fingers and wipes them carelessly on his jeans as he stands up.

“Get on your knees.” He tells me as he kicks off his pants and boxers. I slide off the couch, following his instructions, and face him, assuming he wants head. But when I reach for him, he shakes his head. “Bend over the coffee table.”

I raise my eyebrow slightly but do as he says, bracing my hands on the frame.

Matt kneels behind me and nudges my knees farther apart. He swipes my hair to one side so he can kiss my neck as he lines himself up, grunting quietly as he enters me.

He gives me a second to adjust when he bottoms out, beginning to thrust when I start to squirm. He pulls back as far as he can and slams back into me, pushing me into the table. I gasp, looking back, but he only smirks, leaning down to lightly nip at my shoulder. He continues his rough strokes, his hand digging into my hip.

Fighting for control, I meet his thrusts, pushing my hips back into him, until he braces a hand on my back and pushes me down.

I give up and I press my face into the cool glass, moaning loudly, as he hammers into me. Matt moves his other hand up to the back of my head, lacing his fingers through and tugging gently. “My girl.” He breathes out, the soft tone of his voice contrasting his rough thrusts.

“Please, Matt,” I say, squeezing my eyes shut as I feel my body tightening up.

“Come all over me, baby.” He says, pulling me up and pressing my back into his chest while he thrusts up. My body melts against his, and I unravel around him. I shudder when he continues thrusting, his hand coming up to circle my oversensitive clit.

It’s too much but when I try to wiggle away, he pulls out and stands, yanking me up with him. He leads me back to the sofa and bends me over the arm of it before sliding inside of me again.

He grips both of my hips, using them as leverage as he pounds himself into me. I can’t believe how much he’s stretching me, the tip of his dick kissing my cervix as he thrusts.

He brings his hand up and covers my mouth, shushing me, which must mean I’m being too loud. But I can’t think of anything besides the way he feels inside of me.

I can tell when he gets close because his thrusts become sloppier and he starts moaning out my name. He pushes inside of me as deep as he can and comes, dropping his head onto my back.

We both try to catch our breath for a second before he pulls out of me slowly and points me toward the bathroom. “You can go first.”

When we both have cleaned up, he comes back over to where I’m sitting on the couch and squats down. His eyes are kind and sweet as he takes my hand and brings it to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to it. “Shower?”

He lets me get in first and I flinch at the cold ass water he’s set it to, turning up the heat. Matt hisses as he follows me in, leaning past me to turn it down. “Are you trying to boil us alive? That shit is proof that you’re a demon.”

I laugh at his dramatics as he grabs my soap and lathers up the loofah. He scrubs my arms gently before spinning me so he can get my back.

When he's done, he pulls me into his chest and I lean my head back, the feeling of his skin against mine like ecstasy.

“Do you know how much I love you?” He says, his voice grating across my ear before he places a kiss behind it.

I turn and smile at him, adoration flooding my body. “I think I’m starting to.”

#maggie b writes #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #maggie b talks too much #sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo fluff #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo angst #sturniolo fanfic #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo oneshots #matt sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo headcanon #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo angst #sturniolo fandom

[prosciuttulipa]

Period Pain, Go Away

how the JJK men help you through your period

content: afab reader x jjk men, just fluff this time! brief dirty joke in Toji's one (because he's Toji), but every one of them is a good boi in their own way <33

a/n: on my period and am in much pain v_v i can't decide who i want to comfort me, so i'm writing for all of the men i want

Gojo Satoru who isn't just your boyfriend during your period, but a "girl's girl". He wants to spoil you with desserts and eat the leftovers that you can't finish, do face masks with those cute cucumber slices over the eyes. You want a bath? He's already drawing one, dunking in bath bombs till the water looks like a small galaxy, putting on your comfort show so you can watch it while you soak.

Dealing with pain through fun and smiles has always been his way of coping. So, yes—maybe he does look a bit silly, gossiping with you while you paint sparkles onto his nails, his hair tied up with a pink scrunchie. But what's a boyfriend for, if not to be your Ken doll during your time of need?

It hurts him more than he likes to admit, to see you wince at a bad cramp, or come out of the bathroom with the colour drained from your cheeks. When you can't manage anything more than lying in your bed, he'll rest his head against your stomach, peppering kisses wherever it hurts. "Be good to my girl," he'll jokingly threaten your uterus, poking your tummy gently, "she deserves the world."

Geto Suguru who knows your period is coming before you do. Your irritable mood and food cravings clue him in, and he takes action without saying a single word.

The day your period starts, you realise that the feminine products you usually use have been fully restocked without your notice. The fridge is filled with your period cravings, enough to last a week. Before you can even say anything, a large hand wraps around your waist and presses a hot water bottle against your abdomen. "Good morning, princess," he greets you like he hasn't just pulled off what can only be described as a small miracle, "is everything to your liking?"

You don't know whether to laugh or cry at how perfectly he's predicted you. He's a step ahead of you throughout your entire period, knowing which snack or act of affection you want just by your expression. Some might call his behaviour unreasonable; frankly, he thinks it's bullshit. "Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer," is what he quotes, when you ask him why he's so observant. "What makes you think I do not absolutely and utterly worship you?"

Nanami Kento who is obviously written by a woman, and so does not flinch when he sees the blood on the bedsheets when he wakes up earlier than you. Instead, he kisses you good morning till you're giggling, distracting you so you don't get a chance to see the stains. He changes the sheets while you're in the bathroom, throwing them in with the rest of the laundry. When you come back out, worrying you dirtied the bed, he merely shrugs. "I didn't see anything, darling."

He treats you like a queen on the daily, but during your period, you're his empress. Each word is law, each action his cue to immediately come to your aid. He'll cook every meal, and won't let you hold the spoon to feed yourself if he can help it. As far as he can see, your only responsibility this week is to lounge around, and let him spoil you rotten.

He thinks it's a crime that you still have to go to work, when you have to pop painkillers with your breakfast just to make it through the day. "I can take care of you, you know," he'll inevitably murmur, kissing the shell of your ear, "I make enough money to support us both. Take the day off, dearest. They don't need you more than I do."

Toji Fushiguro who manages to piss you off on the first day of your period. "What size pussy you wear?" he calls to ask, when he's picking up your feminine products at the corner store, "gotta make sure I take care of that kitty for all the squeezin' she does on me."

When he gets back home and finishes getting an earful on how you're more than just his pocket pussy, he apologises by scooping you up in his arms. "You know you're more than just a good fuck, doll," his words carry a rare sort of honesty, coming from him. "You're a good woman. My woman. Gun's in the second drawer, sweetheart—shoot me if I ever do wrong by you."

His touches turn softer, the smack to your ass replaced with a squeeze on the hip, kisses on your shoulders. He's got a hand on you at all times, just rubbing idle circles against your stomach or lower back to soothe your cramps. When bedtime comes, he makes you lay on your tummy, massaging away the tension in your muscles until you're all nice and pliant. He may not always know what to say, but he'll be damned if his actions make you feel like he doesn't love you.

#believe it or not i am in fact capable of having chaste thoughts! #jjk men pls take care of my pussy sfw version #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk fluff #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #geto suguru #jjk geto #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #toji fushigro x reader #toji x reader #my content

[rileyslibrary]

pretty pretty please 🩶

imagine ghost is forced to speak at a school’s career fair because he’s out on medical, and reader gets sent with him to chaperone. (i.e. make sure he doesn’t scare any kids to 💀. and also maybe to feed him some slightly manipulative praises so he stays in a good mood lmao)

———————————————————————

You’re both standing in the principal’s office. The school was kind enough to offer you a private room since kids are a little rowdy today, and Ghost isn’t very fond of tiny hands tagging at his uniform and asking him “how many people he has killed”.

You’re holding two balaclavas; one is black, while the other is a deep shade of army green.

“It’s either this one or that one.” You say while raising both to his eye level.

He pushes your hands down and points to his skull mask. “No.” He states. “I’ll stick with the one I’m wearing.”

You frustratedly shake the balaclavas to your sides. “Come on, Lieutenant,” you plead, “you’ll scare the kids.”

“Have you seen kids these days?” he asks, raising his hands. “These fuckers are not afraid of anything!”

“Oh god,” You wince and toss the balaclavas on the principal’s desk. You shake your index finger at his face like a teacher disciplining a misbehaving student. “Don’t you dare to swear in front of them!”

“Have you heard, kids—”

“—these days.” You cut him off with a flick of the wrist. “Yes, but there’s no need to reinforce bad behaviour.”

He lets out a long exhale and places his hands on his waist. He begins pacing around the principal’s office, swearing under his breath. You’re trying to figure out whether he needs to let it all out before his big speech or if he’s cursing the moment he has agreed to do this.

He pauses in front of a painting hanging next to a window overlooking the school’s playground. He slouches and places one hand on his lower back, rubbing his injury.

You approach him from behind and gently grasp his forearm.

“Hey,” you whisper, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he replies sternly. “Never mind.”

“Are you in pain? Please talk to me.”

“I’m not in pain!” He protests. “In fact, I wasn’t in pain to begin with, when the medics decided that I was,” he makes air quotes with his fingers, “temporarily unfit for duty.”

You place a palm on his lower back and begin rubbing it. He relaxes at your touch and puts one hand on the wall to support his weight.

“You talk about not reinforcing bad behaviour,” he murmurs, “but I’m not the best role model either.”

“Bullshit!” You scowl.

“Seriously,” he insists, “I highly doubt I’d be here talking to kids about their future if I hadn’t been injured.”

He’s correct, but he doesn’t need to know that, especially now, as you wait to enter a classroom full of kids. Any other team member would be far more qualified for this role. Gaz is such a cool guy that most kids would deem him a god. Price feels like the father you wish you had when he talks, and Soap can adapt to anyone he speaks to. Even you would be a better fit for this year’s career fair. But, Ghost? No, not at all.

“Come on, Simon,” you say as you continue rubbing his back. “It’s less about ‘being a role model’ and more about relating to them.”

“How am I supposed to relate to them?” He wonders, “My childhood was nothing like theirs.”

“How do you know?”

He looks at you and motions towards the window. “Look at them,” he says, “they’re full of life.”

“Not all of them are like that, Ghost; some are putting on a show.” You explain, and he turns to look at you again. “They look all jolly, but they might struggle at home or school. Worse, they can’t admit what’s happening behind closed doors because they’re either ordered to remain silent or not understand it themselves.”

He huffs and shakes his head. “Now I can relate to that.” He murmurs.

“See? You need to spot these kids and indirectly talk to them.”

“Spot?” He asks. “How do I spot them?”

“You mean to tell me you’re trained to spot targets from miles away but can’t see when a child suffers in silence?” You ask back. “Plus, it takes one to know one.”

He nods. “And what should I communicate to these kids?” He asks. “How do I help them?”

“By showing them that there’s something better waiting for them out there.”

“Don’t be naive, Y/N. How is what we do better than what they’re going through right now?”

“It’s not about the military, Simon.” You elaborate. “It’s about giving them another chance. They deserve to know there are options other than turning into their drug-addicted mother or alcoholic father.” You lean forward so he can meet your gaze. “Someone gave you a second chance, right?”

He closes his eyes and ponders your words. You tilt your head at him, trying to predict what he’ll say next so you can respond quickly.

But he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he straightens up and takes a deep breath. “You know,” he begins, “I gave one of those speeches to a school a few years ago.”

“Oh!” You cheer and pat him on the back twice. “Did you, now?”

“Lysychansk, Ukraine.” He recalls, “I was being held hostage with a bunch of kids.”

“Tell me more about it,” you say, sitting on the principal’s desk and playing with a pink highlighter. He begins narrating his story, and you can tell he’s becoming more confident as he realises he’s spoken to children before, albeit in a very different context, but who cares? What matters is that he is becoming more at ease with his “previous experience.”

You, in turn, try to give him your full attention, but now that his doubts have subsided, your primary concern is that mask of his. He needs to take it off.

“See? You’re far more experienced than any of us!” you shout. “And in that setting? My god! None of us would have been able to do such a thing!”

He chuckles and looks proudly out the window at the children playing in the school’s playground. He seems to be looking forward to it now.

“Hey, um, sir?”

He shifts his focus to you.

“Your mask, sir; It’s dirty,” you say as you point to his cheek.

He puts his hands on his mask. “Where?” He yells.

“It’s right….” You get up from the desk and take a step closer to him, inspecting his mask. You raise the marker and draw a bright pink line across his cheek, “...there.”

He immediately places his hand on his cheek, looks at the highlighter in your hand, and then back at you.

“You... motherfucker...” he murmurs.

You move away from him and stand behind the desk.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you go out with that mask on; the parents will be furious.” You point to the balaclavas on the principal’s desk. “You do, however, have two other options! Take your pick, and I’ll see you in class in 5 minutes!” And with that, you rush out of the principal’s office and into the school’s corridor.

You enter the classroom and greet the kids with a smile, trying to hide your nervousness. Walking towards the back where the parents are seated, your mind starts racing; Is he trying to choose a mask, or is he cleaning up your mess? What if he’s so furious that he doesn’t show up, leaving you to give the speech? Worse, what if he enters the classroom and takes his anger out on you?

But, the door opens, and Ghost walks in. Your eyes widen, and your jaw drops. He’s not wearing any mask. Not the black one, not the green one, not the skull—with the pink streak—mask on. Nothing.

You observe him moving around; despite his lack of disguise, he maintains his composure. He greets everyone in the room, smiles, waves back at the kids and stands next to the teacher. You let out a relieved exhale through pierced lips. This is going well, thank god.

As the teacher introduces Ghost to the class, you turn to give him a thumbs up, and his eyes lock with yours. There’s a faint smirk playing on his lips, and your heart skips a beat as he silently mouths something in your direction: “You’ll pay for this.”

———————————————————————

A/N: YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, ANON! I was forcing myself to take a break from writing, only to be slapped by an inspiration wave. Hope you liked it, though; I had fun making it.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x y/n #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x y/n #simon riley x you #simon riley #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #simon ghost riley x gn!reader #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley fic #simon ghost riley fanfiction #cod ghost #ghost cod mwii #ghost cod mw2 #ghost cod

[joelsmochi]

honey ♡ joel miller

rating: E 18+ only pairing: beekeeper!joel x f!reader summary: joel is obviously beekeeping age warnings: not proofread, no outbreak, best friends dad!joel, soft!joel, unspecified 30+ year age gap, a hint unrealistic in the sense that sarah doesn’t care, lots of bee science, mentions of bees/bee stings (ouch), honey play (i had to), fingering, f receiving oral, kitchen sex, pet names, plenty of dirty talk (mhm yes yum) a/n: i totally didn’t google bee sex for like an hour just to be accurate… nope… no i didn’t. lol enjoy & happy valentines day ;)

“Which eyeshadow should I use?”

You looked at the small, black palette and its array of choices before telling Sarah, “Purple, it goes great with green dresses.”

Sarah began to brush the product onto her eyelids while she talked about her plans for tonight with her boyfriend, Alex; her voice became white noise as you caught a glimpse of her father in the backyard working on something.

“Your dad’s a beekeeper, right?” You asked without realizing you interrupted her.

“Uh… Yeah?”

“Cool… How’d he get into that? Doesn’t seem like the type to… Save bees?”

“What do you mean?” She mumbled beneath her working hand.

Shrugging, you tried to keep your expression and tone neutral. “Aren’t beekeepers usually a bit dorky?”

“My dad is a dork.”

“I mean, not really,” you chuckled, watching the man pull out the different trays and examine them. “It’s cute, your dad keeping bees… How old is he again?”

Sarah only rolled her eyes.

“He’s definitely beekeeping age,” you continued. “Kinda sweet. Him caring for a colony of bees in your backyard.”

Your best friend was now looking at you look at her father—correction: you were ogling him. Your attempts at seeming unbothered by his looks failed. Sarah always said you wore your heart on your forehead sometimes.

You just couldn’t help it; Joel was tall and big and broad and… Older. He wore a tough exterior, one that always intimidated you, but now you see him tending to bees. The man was a softie at heart, not to mention insanely hot.

His skin tanned even deeper from the long hours of being in the sun, and his forehead littered with droplets of sweat. Was it so wrong to think about Joel f—

“Sarah, I wanna fuck your d—“

“Oh, really?”

You shrugged and sat down on her bed. “Can you blame me?! He’s like… Twenty times hotter than the guys our age.”

“He’s also twenty times your age,” she spat.

“Doesn’t he have a brother?” You shamelessly asked.

She scoffed and looked at you in disbelief. “Yeah, who’s married and has three kids.”

You groaned softly. “Bummer.”

“You have a fucking insane sex drive, you know?”

“Ugh, tell me about it,” you whined, “It’s making me masturbate more than I’d like.”

“You know what, if you wanna make the bold attempt to fuck my fifty year old dad then you have my blessing,” she sarcastically told you.

You simply raised an eyebrow and stared at her shit-eating grin, waiting for her to tell you she was joking. “Don’t bullshit me, Sarah, ‘cause you know I will.”

“Ah—la la la la la! I am not—I am not listening to it anymore. Get it out of your system before I take it back.”

You pretended to lock your lips and throw the key away as she got back on her boyfriend, but all you could think about was her dad.

♡

You waited for Sarah’s boyfriend’s car to leave the driveway before shakily fixing your hair and lip gloss, then you walked into the backyard with eyes set on the man and his work.

“Mr. Miller,” you called once you were a few feet away from him.

He looked up for a split second and motioned his head as a greeting, saying your name in response.

“Bees?”

“Yes, ma’am. Somethin’ I can help you with?”

Shrugging, you walked a little closer but kept your distance fearing a bee sting. “Maybe.”

He lifted a panel up and briefly examined it until he noticed the lingering silence. His dark eyes locked with yours and he sensed your hesitation. “You allergic?”

You only shook your head.

“They’re calm if you are.”

I am so not fucking calm right now, you thought.

“C’mere darlin’. I’ll show ya.”

He used his index and middle finger to beckon you, and you instantly fixated on why you were there in the first place.

You made the daring move to take a few more steps, ears coaxed by the hum of the colony.

“They usually only sting if you annoy them, or smell like a flower.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t spray floral perfume on my shirt this morning,” you joked.

He almost laughed as the bees didn’t seem to care for you so far. “Honeybees really don’t want to sting you.”

“‘Cause it kills ‘em, right?”

Nodding, Joel says, “Exactly. Their number one goal is to protect the queen. Second is to survive whatever threats they face.”

“How’d you get into this kinda stuff?” You asked.

You were trying to find some way to bring up your question without being sudden or rude, though beekeeping didn’t seem like a helpful topic.

“When Sarah was little she used to get a lot of rashes and she had some bad allergies. That over the counter medicine didn’t help, but honey helped. The natural shit— stuff they sell at the store… Well, it gets expensive. And I didn’t have as good a job as I do now... So I figured I’d give it a go and make my own honey.“

“That’s sweet of you. My dad always had me tough it out,” you chuckled.

“I have plenty stashed away in the kitchen. You’re welcome to take some,” he offered. “Hey, what was it you needed?”

“Oh, uh.” You pursed your lips unsure of whether or not you should lie. “Well, I have this sort of… Itch.”

“Itch? It’s not an STD is it, ‘cause I don’t think honey can help with that.”

You knew it was a deadpan joke but the tension had your face stuck in a scrunch.

“No. Not an STD,” you answered. “I just, uh… I really like you, I guess.”

“I hope so, you’ve been eating up half my groceries for the past twenty somethin’ years.”

Idiot.

“No, I mean…” You realized you wouldn’t be able to ask him. “Never mind, uh. Just forget it.”

He watched you turn and begin walking away before it dawned on him. “Oh!”

You faced him again, scratching your head and giving him a nervous look. “Yeah, like I said: forget it. We can just pretend I never asked—“

“Come here,” he said, adjusting his jeans and walking to the other side of the apiary. “Wanna show ya somethin’.”

You rolled your eyes, fighting your stress response of fleeing the scene and standing beside him again.

“Do you know why bees are so loyal to their queen?” He asked after pulling a panel out to show you.

“Mnh-mnh.”

“The queen is the only bee in the entire hive that can produce more bees. Again, a bee’s second main goal is to preserve the life of their species. The queen produces pheromones that calm the bees down and keep the structure within the colony. Drone bees are male bees that really only exist to mate with the queen when she’s a virgin and out of the hive. Worker bees are females that aren’t the queen, but they’re very nurturing. Especially to the queen because she’s the one in charge.”

“Ahh, a matriarchy. Count me in,” you giggled.

Joel chuckled and pulled a switchblade out of his pocket before forcing the blade to whip out. “Do you know how bees mate?”

His voice sounded a little more quiet, and his eyes met yours with curiosity. You shook your head and waited for him to explain.

“When a new queen is selected, she goes out just one time to find a group of drones who will essentially take her virginity. And drones have an endophallus so after they ejaculate into her, their insides are ripped out and the drone dies. When a new drone comes up to mate with the queen, he removes the last guy’s endophallus and does the same thing. Mate with her… And die. She can mate with about ten or twenty different drones before flying back to the hive and laying eggs.”

“So the drones’ only purpose is to mate with a queen?” You asked.

He began cutting away a small piece of the wax, and the honey trickled down slowly.

“It’s the only reason he lives,” Joel muttered. You watched his thick fingers scoop up the liquid gold and he raised them to your lips. “He waits… And waits… And waits… For the right queen to come along.”

He smirked at your amused expression.

“Are you trying to seduce me by telling me the sexual nature of bees?”

He softly shook his head and glanced at your shiny lips. “Not trying to seduce you. Just tellin’ you what most men really want.”

Exhaling, you tried to ignore his fingers lingering in front of your face. The sickly sweet smell of honey filled your nostrils as his words echoed inside of your head.

“Go on,” he whispered, “have a taste.”

It took you a few extra seconds to build up the confidence in order to take him on his dare, but you made sure you did it as slowly as possible.

Your lips parted and he immediately felt your warm breath flow over his fingers; instinctively, your tongue darted out to catch a drop of the honey before it fell to the ground. Then you wrapped your lips around his digits, softly moaning at the sweet tasting nectar that coated his wood scented fingers.

WIth steady eyes you watch his brown orbs darken with lust, hearing him let out a huff and seeing the muscles in his face relax as if your slick tongue gave him the satisfaction he’d been seeking for a long time.

You swirled your tongue around, persisted to taste every last drop. The thickness coated your throat while you desperately wanted it to be something other than honey.

Your lips left his hand with a wet pop that prompted him to lick whatever saliva and honey remained on his fingers.

“Tastes good.”

“Just good?”

“Tastes delicious,” you corrected.

He let out a soft chuckle and put the wood panel back in its place.

“Sarah know you’re out here?”

After rolling your eyes and smirking you said, “She doesn’t need to know. Actually quite sure she wouldn’t want to know. Besides, Alex just picked her up, so.”

“So we’re all alone,” he finished.

“I’m gonna go get some of that honey you were talking about. Though I might need your help finding the right cabinet.”

He watched you walk back into the house before following you; once inside he saw you reaching into a cabinet in the corner, but a big red bruise on your arm caught his attention.

Joel walked over to you and grabbed your arm. Confused, you tried to see what he was looking at to no avail.

“You got stung right here,” he said as if he read your mind. He started walking over to the correct cabinet.

Frowning, you lifted your arm before spotting the bump. “Weird. Didn’t even feel it.”

“S’normal,” he muttered.

He stepped in front you to lift you up underneath your arms and sit you on top of the kitchen island.

You carefully watched as he opened up a sealed mason jar and stood between your legs.

“Mmkay. Lift your arm up.”

You did as he told and tried not to grimace while he scraped the stinger out. Honestly you didn’t have to try too hard; he looked so good like this, taking good care of you. Focused and confident like he’d done this a million times. You were certain he had.

He dipped a finger into the jar and swiped a little honey over the bump, carefully rubbing it in and drifting his gaze to your eyes.

“Helps the itch,” he spoke. “You said you had one, right?”

“Think I’ve got a bigger itch,” you replied.

“Hmm. Where at?”

Biting your bottom lip you trailed a finger over your neck, finding your sweet spot and rubbing a small circle over it. “Here.”

Joel rubbed a some honey on your neck and lapped it up like a thirsty dog. He held back on sucking the skin, mindful that you might not be fond of hickeys.

“I get it?” His voice strained.

You hummed. “No… No it’s went down a little bit. Tryyy… Here.”

Your clavicle.

More honey. More licking.

“How ‘bout now?”

You took your shirt off revealing your breasts. “Try here, and here.”

Your breath shook when the cold liquid was smeared over your hardened nipples. Once he took the first one into his mouth you let a desperate breath and held the curve of his head in your palm, letting him have his way with your tits.

“Nope, still there,” you spoke once he pulled away.

His fingers found the button on your shorts, then the zipper.

“Damn itches,” he said, “they’re always so damn stubborn. Ain’t that right? S’okay. Think I have a remedy for that.”

Just like that your shorts and panties were off and his fingers scooped up some more honey—more than what was necessary for anything.

He bent down to your glistening pussy and lazily rubbed the honey all over. You’d be lying if you said that alone didn’t make that knot inside of you twist harder.

Joel’s tongue eagerly met your clit, and he didn’t bother wasting anymore time with teasing you. A gurgling moan left his mouth once he tasted your juices mixing with the honey, creating the perfect elixir for his tastebuds.

Your legs clamped around his head reactively but he was strong enough to force them apart and keep them open.

Whilst he sucked and pulled and lapped around your clit, your hands were reaching, searching for anything to grasp. As a result you ended up knocking over the jar and spilling its contents, but you were too dazed to give a fuck.

Somewhat annoyed with you flailing around like you’d never been eaten out before, Joel smacked the back of your thigh. You shuddered and calmed your body down, settling with pulling on his hair relentlessly since the force of his smack stung a little.

He preferred it that way; take your tension out on him. Make him hurt if it meant you felt good. It only stroked his ego.

His tongue slipped between your pussy lips and slurped up whatever it could, the vibrations making you cry out his name. He did it again and again and again and again and a-fucking-gain until he was certain you were screaming from an orgasm.

Joel moaned at your thick cum pouring out of your cunt and down his sticky chin, drinking up anything he wasn’t missing.

He only stopped when he figured you’d had enough and stood eye level with you while fumbling with his belt buckle.

“I think that itch got a little deeper now,” he cockily said, “wouldn’t you say?”

Your eyes were wide, pupils nearly blown, mouth agape, and chest heaving. “I think you can reach it just fine, Joel.”

Holding back a boastful laugh, he lined his erection up with your soft entrance and slid inside carefully.

“So pretty,” he whispered, “you look so fucking pretty like this, baby.”

You pulled his face in for a sloppy kiss, happily tasting the mixture of you and his honey. He noticed your hand was tacky from the spill and stuck a few fingers into his mouth, spreading the stickiness anywhere he could get it.

“Your cock,” you moaned into his chin. “So big.”

“It’s all yours, princess,” he moaned.

His hips pulled back and then snapped back into yours; his tip pressing into the deepest part of your pussy.

“Fuck. You get so fucking deep,” he praised. “S’it feel good, baby?”

“Yes,” you said against your will. “Oh my God, just like tha—fuck!”

Joel fucked you just the way you liked: fast, but not sloppily or too hard. He watched his cock disappear into you a dozen times, and he grew harder than he ever had before.

“You look so pretty with my cock inside. Such a dirty fucking girl,” he shouted over your moans. “You take it so well, baby.”

Joel felt the his orgasm begin to arrive so he pulled out and took a step back; you whined a bit and reached for him but you were already so sore.

Meanwhile he just undressed himself and laid you down on the marble countertop, climbing on top of you not long after.

“I hear you, baby,” he cooed. “You don’t need to beg… I’m gon’ take real good care a’you.”

You lazily smiled and wrapped your legs around his broad waist.

“There you go,” he whispered against your lips as he slid back into you, hearing your whines turn into moans. “There you go, sweetheart. I got you.”

He returned back to his original pace, only his hips thrusted harder into you. You felt every curve and vein along his cock, every inch he gave to you.

Your nails clawed at his back and feet dug into his hips. You reached for him in any way you could. His lips danced with yours as you drank each other’s honey-coated moans.

“Joel, fuck. Oh, Joel I’m gonna cum,” you admitted.

He felt your back arch off of the counter as if your tone was indicating enough.

“I know, baby, I know. You’re doing so well. I got you, I got you. Need you to look at me, darlin’, can you do that? Can ya look at me with those pretty eyes when you cum?”

You struggled to open your eyes, wanting to wilt up at the intensity building inside of you. But once you saw his eyes again you were hooked.

“Good girl,” he chuckled, wearing the proudest grin imaginable. “Doing such a good job, let it out sweetie. You can cum.”

“I’m cu—oh!”

“I know, babygirl. I can feel it. Let it out for me. Let it out for daddy.”

He watched and held you as you writhed from your orgasm; your skin was on fire, stomach fluttering with elation.

Joel loved the sound of your voice calling his name, so precious and shameless. He couldn’t hold back anymore. He didn’t want to. He wanted to make you his own, even if it had to be temporarily.

“Cum inside me,” you breathed out, feeling overstimulated and overstretched. “Need you to—ah.“

He leaned down for another kiss just when he began to cum inside, a feeling so raw and deep he hadn’t felt in years. He forgot how fucking good it felt, and savored it by pushing through every painful bit of the overstimulation.

Joel gave you a few more soft kisses and slowly got off of the island. He ran a hand over your thighs and watched you come down from your high.

“My hair is covered in honey,” you giggled.

“Let’s go wash you up. Maybe we can find a few more itches to scratch.”

#SORRY THIS IS KINDA RUSHED UMMM #pedro pascal #joel miller #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff #tlou smut

[gloxk]

just sitting here high asf thinking about getting the sloppiest head from aot guyzzz…*HEAVY ASS SIGH* let me wish upon a star hoping someone could write about this for me…*LONG HEAVY EXTREME SIGH.*

⁺ 　 . ✦ Favorite eaters ⁺ 　 . ✦

(Eren Y. Armin A. Connie S.)

A/N: ugh yes girl ik the feeling … im to sitting here wondering how nasty eren would eat the kitty…BUT ANYWAYS TYSM FOR 600!!! NEXT STOP 700!!! AHHH!

Synopsis: Aot men as your favorite eater.

━━━━━━━⚥━━━━━━━

♡ Eren ♡

Ughh omg..Eren giving you nasty head after he pissed you off…The type of head that makes you run away in shame!!!

“Givin me an attitude ain’t gonna get you anywhere, you know better den that.” Eren scoffed, while tossing a blunt over to you.

Oh boy how he was so undeniably wrong.

You could tell Eren was unamused with your bullshit. He wasn’t taking you ignoring lightly at all.

“You gon fix it or am I, figure it out.” he whispered in your ear. You stood on what you dished out, you weren’t fixing shit.

You chuckled at him in response, how stupid he was to think you were going to pipe down.

That was until he found his way between your thighs..

One hand tangled in his brown locs and the other one holding a blunt. Best combo..

You lazily rutted against his tongue while his piercing twirled against your puffy clit.

It was so hard to look him in the eyes after he made you cum on his tongue 3 times.

“Still got an attitude baby?”

Let’s just say..you ain’t had one after that.

♡ Armin ♡

Oh..lawd. I said this once i’ll say it A FUCKING AGAIN. Armin is a pussy eater expert. He’s VERY talented in that ‘field’..

This man has no problem eating it for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Hell, he will wake up and decide he’s hungry and start going crazy.

That’s how your morning starts..with Armin stuck between your thighs eating it so you can wake up.

Eyes barely opened and you’re already on the verge of cumming..his way of saying ‘goodmorning’.

He so eager to do it too. Sometimes yall could just be watching netflix and he will insist on eating you out.

“Well, I mean, the show is kind of boring. Just come on, it will be quick.” He’ll beg and beg, “Please, I know you’re tired, I can help you go to sleep faster!”

His contact name is NyQuil in yo phone! (If you know. you know .)

When he say fast..oh baby he mean fast. That tongue can move at speeds you didn’t even know existed.

But his favorite time to get to munching is before you go to work.

“We got 10 minutes Armin.” He don’t need even need 10 he will make you cum in 5.

♡ Connie ♡

Ex! Connie getting fucking wasted and coming back home and eating you till your cummin everywhere…

I just know he eats it with his grillz on..I just know.

You want nasty head? Connie is your man for it. He gonna make it SLOPPY SLOPPY.

“Baby whatchu mean, we supposed to be in love..” his words slightly slur, he had a fuck boy grin plastered over his face. “stop acting like you ain’t happy to see me.”

He wasn’t supposed to be there and he knew that. But you couldn’t stay mad at him for long, especially when he was telling you how much he missed you. “Cmere baby i’ve been missin you..” & “I know you mad at me lemme change that.”

if ‘Let my face be yo chair’ was a person…

Sitting on his face is a pleasure to you and him. He gets to see his (ex) girlfriend and you get some head.

A win win in your books!

You grinding against his golden grills while his hands rub your waist up and down. “You got such pretty moans, lemme hear em baby.” & “Uh-huh, let it out mama.”

He’s looking you dead in your eyes while doing it too…

“You made such a mess baby. Don’t worry go to sleep, ima clean it up.” UGH THIS MAN….

best ex ever!

━━━━━━━⚥━━━━━━━

going absolute feral for these men it don’t even make any sense.

#eyena writes♡ #eren jeager smut #eren jeager x reader #eren smut #eren x black fem!reader #eren x black reader #eren x reader #eren x y/n #eren x you #eren yeager #aot smut #armin smut #armin x black reader #armin x y/n #armin x you #plug connie #connie x black reader #connie smut

[81folklore]

this is me trying - CL16

pairing: charles leclerc x small!singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo)

summary: after a twitter thread was made talking about the struggles you faced in a horrible way, you release a song you wrote with charles to talk about it

authors note: i am in no way saying olivia has struggled with or is dealing with anything mentioned in this story. this song means alot to me as someone who struggles with both addiction and my mental health so if im projecting..no one needs to know😁 i honestly have no clue how this is going to turn out but we will see. anything in bold italics is french

warnings: talks of addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide. alcohol addiction, drugs and self harm are all mentioned. the topics of this is me trying are mentioned, for obvious reasons but in a more personally focused way (if that makes sense). unwarrented hate (?). nothing really goes into detail but just regular warnings, please reach out to someone if you are struggling!!

authors note 2: i had to dust this one off and I HATE IT. its literally my least favorite work ive ever done so please feel free to keep scrolling😭😭 i just kept projecting by accident and it honestly kind of got out of hand. im also SO BAD with my wording so i have no clue if any of it sounds how i wanted it too!!

authors note 3: after reading it over i realised i never actually explained what i was talking about in the song thread so quickly, charles’ and yn split for a short period after yn started shutting him out, she spoke to someone (the stranger) who helped her start to extend the branches back out to charles and they got back together around 11 ish months before the song was released!! the fans never knew why they broke up, there was some speculation but most of it was dropped when they got back toegther

masterlist

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 2,457 others

good food, yummy people😋

view comments

arthur_leclerc: you mean good people yummy food right?

yourusername: suuure😁

charles_leclerc: beautiful girl

yourusername: love you!!

user7: what is charles doing in the 5th picture😭😭

yourusername: he dropped his airpod😭

user10: girl have you seen twitter…

user75: charles run as fast as you can

user2: there is no way charles knew he’d never be with someone like that💀

user10: what and he’d be with someone like you??

user6: wait what is happening in these comments what happened on twitter?

user7: someone made a thread ‘exposing’ yn but its just a bunch of bullshit that his fans are using because they dont like yn

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 3,562 other

studio time with baeee💋💋

view comments

charles_leclerc: my favorite musician💐

charles_leclerc: i love you so much

yourusername: you mean the world to me charlie

pierregasly: kika wants to know if she can come next time

yourusername: tell her to text me so we can arrange it!!

user73: oh my god new music soon

user64: does this mean charles is on her new music?!

yourusername: maybeee

user64: GIRL DONT TEASE US LIKE THIS

user99: im so sorry about whats happening on twitter you dont deserve that

user2: yes she does

arthur_leclerc: can you tell charles to stop talking about your music when im not allowed to hear it, please🙏

yourusername: sorry arthur!! wanna come for a car ride and listen to it with us??

arthur_leclerc: please please please

user82: yn and charles taking arthur on a car ride to listen to her new song, oh what if i cried😭😭

arthur_leclerc added to their story

seen by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 86,289 others

*text in first picture reads: 🤍🤍* *text in second picture reads: so unbelievably proud of my sister*

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and 8,215 others

if you had told me a year ago that not only would i still be here but i would be releasing a song talking about the darkest times of my life with the love of my life by my side i would never have believed you.

throughout the past few months i have revisited times of my life i wish i could have left behind but ive learnt that accepting that this is a part of me now is important in my journey of moving forwards, and in moving forwards ive learnt that my struggles do not define me and i wont be embarrassed by things that have affected me

sometimes i wish i could go back and erase that part of my life, erase the way i felt, erase the way i treated the people i loved the most. but i cant, and i wont let people belittle me for that time anymore

if you have struggled in the past or are struggling today, you are not alone. its a cliche thing to say but i promise you at least one other person will be experiencing the feelings your feeling, you may not know them, you may never know them but you are not alone, you never have been and you never will be

you are not weak for struggling, you are not weak for finding ways to cope, no matter what they may be, you are not weak for shutting people out and you are not weak for reaching out for help, no matter how little you think you need it. you deserve help, no matter how small your problems may seem to you, you are worthy of being safe, you are worthy of being happy

i never thought i would release a song highlighting those times for me, but i wanted anyone whose been through these things to know that i love you and i will always love you; this is me trying out now on all platforms❤️‍🩹

view comments

arthur_leclerc: i am so so proud of you, you deserve all the happiness in the world

charles_leclerc: you mean the world to me, i am so proud of what you have achieved and i will be by your side forever and always

yourusername: charlie i hold so much love for you i feel like i may explode

user55: ive been struggling with an addiction for a while, i cannot express the way this song feels. just, thank you so much

yourusername: im right beind you darling, i believe in you❤️‍🩹

user81: i fear if i listen to this anywhere outside of the comfort of my room i will break down in tears

user93: 🩵🩵

user42: I😭JUST😭WANTED😭YOU😭TO😭KNOW😭THAT😭THIS😭IS😭ME😭TRYING😭

sebastianvettel: im so proud of you yn, come visit with charles soon sweetheart

yourusername: dropping everything and coming right now

lewishamilton: 💜💜

yourusername: hi lewis🤭🤭

user70: YN HELP😭😭 (just like me fr)

charles_leclerc and yourusername added to their stories

seen by pierregasly, sebastianvettel and 2,348,172 others

*text on first photo reads: i hold so much love for you🩷* *text on second photo reads: my bestest friend in the entire universe🩵*

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc insta au #charles leclerc

[kalinysu]

imagine wife demon x muzan but she feels insecure and easily replaceable (maybe bc another demon kept "bullying" her) how would muzan react

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄? — Muzan x F!Reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Cursing, Violent behavior.

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: Cute idea, love this ❤️

Lately, you had been avoiding leaving Muzan’s room in the infinity castle. He didn’t want to question why, but he couldn’t help but wonder. We’re you just being clingy, was something wrong? He didn’t think you’d be hiding or avoiding someone since you were the demon closest to him, and he prioritized you the most. He didn’t think anyone would dare mess with his wife. Every demon was well aware of your status.

“Alright, I’ll see you later darling.” Muzan said, leaning over and placing a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll hopefully be back by tonight.” He said, gently stroking your head before exiting the room. Today you were hoping that demon wouldn’t mess with you again when you went around the infinity castle. When you left, the second you were far enough away from Muzan’s room, you heard a familiar giggle. “Does Master Muzan seriously let you go around looking like that? Honestly, how could someone like you ever end up with someone like him? He must be toying with you.” The female demon said with a snicker. “He.. He’s not toying with me, stop speaking of him in such a manner.” You snapped back. The two of you went back and forth, the female demon practically following you around. You needed to leave the room for a moment, to take a small walk without anyone bothering you, but this woman obviously didn’t want you to.

“You know, the second he deem useless to him, your gone, right? You don’t matter to him. He only makes you feel special because you’ve had connections with that stupid flower and he wants you to get it.” She said, yawning a bit in a sassy way. “Once he knows you can’t do that—“ She giggled and slid her finger across her throat as her way of saying your dead. “Muzan would never do that to me.” You said, now making your way back to his room. “Believe whatever you want, your not even an upper moon. Right now, I bet he’s entertaining other women.” She said, finally leaving you alone when you went into Muzan’s bedroom.

That night, when Muzan returned, you couldn’t help but burst into tears when he asked what was wrong.

Muzan was shocked. He had never seen you crying before. He was lucky he had practice with his fake wives in the past, otherwise he wouldn’t know what to do with you. He sat down on the bed with you and cuddled you until you were calm enough to speak. “T-that—that woman i told you about before..” You stuttered, sniffling and whimpering. “Yes.. What about her dear?” Muzan said, with as soft of a tone possible. You sobbed, explaining everything to him. “I-I just don’t want you to replace me—I-I really am insecure..” You said. “Insecure? Darling, you’ve got nothing to be insecure about. Your the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen in all my years of living. You don’t know the lengths I would go to keep you safe. Forget about that flower, even if you cannot bring it to me, i’ll still love you. No matter what.” He said, wiping away your tears and practically showering you with kisses.

Though you could feel his occasional tremble, he was shaking. You knew his was pissed off and was trying to cover it. “M-muzan… Please.. Don’t do anything harsh..” You said, looking up at him. He looked down at you and smiled, pulling you closer to his chest. “I won’t, dear.” he said. Holding you close and gently rubbing your back until you fell asleep. He kissed your forehead before leaving the room.

He was livid.

“Why is it you think your so privileged, you can go saying such bullshit to my wife when i’m not around?!” Muzan yelled, almost shaking the whole infinity castle when he slammed his hands down on his desk, his head down as he shook with pure anger. “M-master Muzan!! I never said any of that—i promis—“ Before the woman could say another word, she was cut off by his yelling. “Don’t fucking try to lie straight to my god damn face. Do you take me for a fool?!” Muzan yelled even louder, his patience fading quickly.

“Muzan..?” You whispered softly, looking up at his dark figure moving towards the bed. Your vision was blurry, but you knew it was him. He got into bed beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Shh, go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He said softly, smiling when you shifted to face him, wrapping your arms around him. “It’s.. okay..” You said in a sleepy tone, before drifting off in his arms. You couldn’t help but wonder.

Why was he covered in blood the first time he entered the bedroom and went to go shower?

#demon slayer #kny #muzan #muzan fluff #angst #muzan x you #lord muzan #kny muzan #kimetsu no yaiba muzan #muzan x reader #muzan kibutsuji #demon slayer muzan #yandere muzan