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likeadevils · 3 months

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Reputation Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Reputation in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing rep and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date:

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).

"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."

March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).

May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around. "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."

October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.

November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...] “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”

April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.

August 29, 2016: Taylor writes in her diary "This summer is the apocalypse."

Gorgeous: Sep. 1-5, 16, 17, 19 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing this outfit in her Nashville apartment, which dates the song to September 17. From there, the rest of the dates are just math.

King of My Heart: Sep. 6, 19, 20, 21 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing the same outfit in the Gorgeous video and the KOMH video. It's also the same outfit as a video she later posted to The Swift Life (RIP) where she talked about how excited she was to be working after a long break.

September 9, 2016: Gigi Hadid says "You know, [Taylor] is starting to go back to work in the studio again."

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Early Oct. (Speculation)

In a teaser for the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen in an unfamiliar outfit (black mesh top) with bleached hair and a thin gold choker that she was fond of in October 2016. She is not wearing her silver J pendant, which she got as a 27th birthday present (Dec 13, 2016). IDWLF is the only song with no video footage that was written in 2016. I don't recognize the studio in the clip, but she recorded IDWLF with Jack Antonoff, who is based in New York. Taylor was on the east coast until October 22nd, and was seen in New York between October 11-13.

Delicate: Oct. 24-26 (Speculation)

Taylor is seen wearing the aforementioned thin gold choker, with her post Sep. 24 haircut (straight across bangs instead of a side part). Since she normally goes into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback with a few ideas, and creates multiple songs during their sessions, I'm inclined to group this song with IDSB and place it in late October.

I Did Something Bad: Oct. 14, 27 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, at 4:18 you can spot a gold temporary tattoo on the inside of her wrist, similar to ones she was wore at Drake’s Birthday Party on October 23. Since she is seen working until sundown (She leaves LA on October 28) and had to be in Nashville 13 days priar (She was seen in New York City until the 13), October 14 and 27th are the only dates that make sense.

January 3, 2017: Taylor writes in her diary "I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for Grammys and now, I’m essentially based in London, hiding out trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe."

Don't Blame Me: Jan. 10, 11, 12 (Inferring)

Taylor is seen wearing a similar jacket as she was papped wearing on the 11th in the Making of a Song video. (This is pure speculation on my part, but the mood also seems to be a bit lower than on other days). We know she was in LA around this time “for work.”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Jan. 11 (Confirmed)

This post explains the situation pretty well. There are multiple accounts of what seems to be a similar story. January 11th one of two times she is seen leaving the gym after a long paparazzi dry spell, the other being in July. Seeing as the song is produced by Max Martin, who is located in LA, and the July pictures are in New York, I’m inclined to agree with the original source.

Dress: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

Jack Antonoff: “Dress is my second favorite [from Reputation]. It's the first one we made for it." Taylor was mostly based in London in early 2017, but there’s two times we know she was in the states. The first is in early January, when Taylor was in California working with Max Martin and Shellback. The second time is in late January/early February, when she was in Nashville preparing for Super Saturday Night. My guess is this was written in Late January, mostly because she was on the east coast, but theoretically she could've done it earlier in the month, or even later in the year.

Look What You Made Me Do: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song Video, as well as in Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with straight hair and her J initial necklace (dating the song to post-Dec 13, 2016). Her hairstyle (the deep side part) is very Mid-2016. For most of 2017, she seems to favor the straight across braids with strands on the side. Long story short (ha), the hair makes me what to put this as early in the timeline as possible. We know Taylor was on the east coast (specifically Nashville) in early February, preparing for Super Saturday Night.

New Years Day: 2017 (Unknown)

There isn’t any footage of this, but Jack Antonoff has said that it came together fairly quickly and unexpectedly while they were hanging out at his house.

...Ready For It?: May 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song series, as well as Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and not her Sapphire Evil Eye Ring, which starts showing up on June 27th (We don’t know exactly when or why she got the sapphire ring). . Since the song partially focuses on whether or not her lover is ready for the media frenzy that surrounds dating her, I’m inclined to place this song in May, when her and Joe’s relationship leaked to the press. The song was recorded in Sweden, and we can assume she was in Europe between May 15 and June 1, 2017. (That being said, we can assume she is in Europe for most of the first half of 2017).

Call It What You Want: June 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and not her sapphire evil eye ring. Once again, I am tempted to put this after her relationship leaked to the press, probably in early June (She is in the states on the 1st and 3rd, and probably leaves sometime in mid-June).

End Game: Mid July (Confirmed)

Ed Sheeran has said that the song was written around July 14th, while he was playing in Connecticut and Taylor was in Rhode island. Ed: End Game was written - I was playing Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and she has a place in Rhode Island, which isn't too far. So she hits me up like, 'I know you're in Connecticut, come around.' I go around, she plays me some of what turned out to be reputation, and plays me this End Game, and I was like 'Man, I really like this. Can I do a verse? Can I do a rap verse?' And she was like, 'Yeah, for sure!' So the next day, I remember, I was in bed, and woke up and got my laptop out, put the song, just looped it, wrote this verse, and I went in with Max Martin, who she did the song with, and recorded it. Then Future did a verse, and then Taylor wrote a verse and we did the video.

Getaway Car: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring, placing the song sometime shortly before/after June 27th. We know she was in the states for most of July, and in New York City on the 17th and 24th.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring. For all the same reasons as Getaway Car, this song was probably recorded in July. The exact order of Getaway Car and TIWWCHNT is probably impossible for anyone not involved in the making of the song to know. I could see arguments for either order, but Taylor has said that reputation is in fairly chronological order, I’m putting it in order of tracklist.

So It Goes: September 2017 (Inferring)

Oscar Görres, a cowritter on the song, said he got a call from Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor asking to use his track after he’d just had a child. According to social media, he had a daughter in 2015 and a son in September of 2017. The interview is a bit confusing, timeline-wise. On one had, Görres says “I’d just become a father,” but then he implies that Max and Shellback had already completed most of the album. (For context, English isn’t his first language). Personally, I believe the believe the September 2017 date. Multiple sessioners have said Taylor said all songs on the album were about her relationship with Joe, and the tracklists in the reputation magazines are out of order, suggesting a late change. Taylor has has also been known to add a song to the album incredibly last minute— most notably Forever & Always on Fearless, but also with Death By A Thousand Cuts on Lover, which had to have been written post April 20, 2019 (but that's for another album).

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

#txt*#timeline*#taylor swift #sure let’s do it tonight why not

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wheredafandomat · 10 months

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Misery loves company

Loki x female reader

18+ | basically a couple of cartel bosses, contains mentions of drugs, smut etc

“So what you’re telling me is that we have two hundred kilos we need to move and no way of doing so?” Loki huffed, helpless as sighed into his hand.

“Yes, we’ve lost our pilot but—” Thor began nervously, pausing before Loki glanced up at him, prompting him to continue “there’s another way.”

“No! Absolutely not.” Loki shouted angrily in response, hitting his fist on the table in front of him.

“Loki, she’s our only hope.” Thor reasoned.

“I despise her, I will not do business with her.” Loki insisted.

“There’s someone here to see you.” Bucky spoke, taking you from your thoughts as you sat at the desk in your study. “You’re gonna like this boss.” He added with a small smile, your stoic expression unwavering.

“Well pat them down and send them in.” You answered. Moments later, none other than Loki Odinson entered the room, Bucky behind him before you dismissed him, turning your attention elsewhere, a small smile gracing your lips.

“Very thorough with his search that one, makes me feel I should tip him.” Loki spoke, stepping further into the room.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you here?” You replied, clapping your hands together.

“I need a favour.” He answered bluntly.

“A favour?” You questioned, arching one of your brows “and what pray tell could I help you with?”

“There’s been a slight blip with shipping and I know you’ve got routes that don’t require aviation and so I was wondering if my guys would be able to use them.” He asked.

“You want your guys to use my routes?” You smirked.

“Yes.”

“Rousing.” You joked, causing Loki to roll his eyes. “Come, sit with me and have a drink.” You offered, gesturing to the chair in front of you. Loki sat as you stood, making your way to the small table with the crystal glasses and decanters. Getting two out, you poured some whiskey before returning to your seat, giving one to Loki. “So, Loki, how have you been?”

“I didn’t come all the way here to talk about my well-being, I’m here on business.” He stated, taking a swig of his drink.

“I’m being kind.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“You know what, this was a mistake.” He huffed, standing to his feet angrily.

“Wait, wait” you interrupted his tantrum, standing too “how much is the supply?”

“Two hundred kilos.” He answered.

“I want fifty percent plus another ten for the agro.” You answered, stepping towards him.

“You forget that without me, you’d have none of this” he asserted as you stood level to him, chin tilted upwards to face him “I made you.” He continued, looming over you. Silence fell between you as your gazes met, each as intimidating as the other before you broke the silence.

“You simply planted a seed Loki” you smiled “can one really take credit for a flower that had to sprout alone, killing weeds along the way? That had to water itself, nourish itself?” You queried, standing closer to him “the answers no, you can’t.”

“Look y/n, I’m sure there is a way we could both come out happy from this.” He winked, gaze dipping to your lips.

“Are you propositioning yourself?” You tittered. “My my, how the mighty have fallen.” You tutted, standing between him and the desk.

“There must be a way we can do this that doesn’t involve you walking away with sixty percent of my profit.” He inferred.

“Simple, find someone else.” You clapped.

“I trust you.” He implored.

“Fine then” you exhaled “beg.”

“What?” Loki snorted.

“I’ll only take 40% if you get on your knees and beg me.” You explained. Looking into your eyes, Loki inhaled before pushing his chair out of the way and getting onto his knees, your gaze following him. Lifting his hand, he ghosted it over your calf remembering all the times you had had him like this, on his knees, surrendering to you.

“What happened to us?” He sighed, still stroking your leg.

“You grew distant and I grew heartless.” You stated.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Loki disagreed, hand falling to your foot before reaching the heel of your stiletto. Balancing yourself on the desk behind you, you stepped out of them one by one. “I know you y/n, the real you, not the one that hides behind stilettos and the guise of dispassion.” He expressed, placing a kiss against your calf as he caressed it. You darent blink as Loki turned his head slightly, his cheek moving against your leg as he closed his eyes.

“Beg me.” You spoke just above a whisper, biting your trembling lip as you watched him. Loki’s lips traveled higher up your legs, his hands venturing below your skirt before he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder. You fought down a moan as his kisses met your inner thighs, your body remembering the feel of his against yours. His gaze returned to yours as he reached your centre, eyes pleading. “Beg me.” You repeated, the meaning of your words blurred in this moment.

“Please.” Loki finally murmured almost desperately, brow twitching.

“Okay.” You breathed.

Lowering your leg, Loki’s hands ventured underneath your skirt again before he tugged your panties down. You barely had time to brace yourself before he was pushing your skirt up, mouth latching onto your pussy.

“Lokii.” You moaned, eyes falling closed as his tongue skilfully circled your clit. He explored your centre lavishly, his wet tongue moving through your folds leisurely as you steadied yourself with your hands on his shoulders. His hair was between your fingers, the images of passion filled nights shared between you both reverberating through your mind. You melted against him as he consumed you, his mouth engulfing your core. You glanced down at him, his eyes fixated on yours as your expression told him he could have anything. You were at his mercy as he was yours. He was your weakness, your strength, your god in this moment, this one venereal moment. “I’m soo close.” You gasped, hips rocking against his face as you chased your rapture. “Fuck.” You uttered, reaching your climax as the leg over his shoulder began to shake, your pleasure dripping from you.

Lowering your leg, Loki stood to kiss you before you pushed him back down, joining him on the floor. You straddled him as you kissed him, tasting yourself against his tongue. Your teeth clashed together as you kissed each other desperately, clinging to one another. Finally breaking the kiss, his lips ventured to your neck, claiming you as you moved your head to the side. Sitting up slightly, Loki lowered you against the floor, softening the feeling of the floor with his arm around you as you pulled him down on top of you. He kissed you again, hips grounding into yours as you felt his excitement. Reaching between you, Loki freed his erection before fisting himself a couple of times and lining himself up with your entrance. The both of you gasped as he pushed inside.

“It’s been so long.” He panted, bottoming out.

“Too long.” You agreed, moaning as he began fucking you. You clutched onto his arms urgently as he moved in and out of you perilously, not caring about the risk of being like this with you. He knew he was not himself when he was inside you; almost animalistic as his carnal needs took priority. He bit into the crook of your neck, the sting making you clench around him as he licked over the area, thrusting harder into you. You bucked your hips up into his, eyes tightly shut as your mouth fell open, vulgar moans escaping you. It was wrong of you both, truly indecent and utterly erotic for you to still derive so much pleasure from each other.

“I’m not going to last.” Loki warned, grunting as his thrusts grew sloppy.

“Neither am I” you panted “fuck, just cum.” You implored, eyes opening as you looked up at him. Almost on cue, his movements stilled before he came, both of you cursing.

Once you had both crashed back down from your frienzies, Loki pulling out of you, you rolled over, hand reaching up to the small table as you grabbed a packet of cigarettes and a lighter.

“You still smoke.” Loki noted as you bought one of the slim vogues to your lips.

“Only after sex.” You shrugged, lighting it and taking a drag before Loki took it, taking a toke too and bringing it back to your lips. “You get my routes, I get my forty percent.”

“Deal.” He agreed.

Humming in agreement, you stubbed out the cigarette before standing up and pulling your skirt down, Loki watching you as you walked away, leaving the room.

“Do you trust him?” Bucky asked once you were away from the room, walking towards your own.

“Not as far as I can throw him.” You answered with a small smile.

Meanwhile, Loki had finally sat up. Sheathing himself, he looked through the notifications on his phone.

Thor: Did she agree?

Spotting the panties you left on the floor, Loki picked them up as he replied.

Loki: Yes

Thor: Can we trust her?

Loki: Not at all

Smiling, he pocketed the panties before making his own way out.

Tags:

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#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfic #loki (marvel)#oc fiction #loki fanfiction #tom hiddelston loki #loki smut #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki au #loki odinson #loki odinson smut #loki x you smut #loki x female reader smut #loki imagines

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kiwinatorwaffles · 2 months

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hmm. i'm usually not one to post about these topics but i think i've gathered enough thoughts on wilbur's abysmal apology towards shelby to form a cohesive message.

WARNING: the rest of the post will discuss abuse and also a lot of my personal experiences as someone who has hurt other people in the past. obviously not to the extent that wilbur has, but please move on it you don’t want to see it. thank you and stay safe.

being stuck in a hard place, whether it be living conditions, mental conditions, or any other factor, will naturally hurt the person going through those tough times. and hurt people hurt people. but i think there's a pretty Big Fucking Difference between doing bad things in the past and actually owning up to your actions after regretting it VS doing bad things in the past and turning a blind eye against those you've hurt to wallow in your own ego and misery.

i’ve experienced my fair share of abusive friendships, but when i was fifteen, i WAS the toxic friend. (yes, i’m aroace. friendships aren’t the same as a romantic relationship but they can be just as strong. i value my platonic bonds as much as allos value their marriages or date partners.) i was going through a huge depressive episode. it was tough for me, but during that time, i made fun of my friends' interests to their faces because i couldn't personally understand it, and i also vagueposted about the little things they did that ticked me off right where they could see it. it got to the point where they had to make a separate group chat to talk about their interests where i wouldn’t see it. i hurt all of them, and it ended in them confronting me about my actions. they put me in my place and called me out for my horrible attitude.

after seeing my friends' perspectives, i realized just how awful i was to them and sincerely apologized to each of them. i recognized their feelings towards my actions and didn't make excuses. even though i was going through a hard time myself, my abuse towards them was absolutely NOT justified. as i recovered, i made sure not to hurt them any more, and years later, our friendships are still going strong.

my experiences aren't nearly as extreme as what wilbur has done to shelby, but i think it's pretty fucking clear that his apology was flaming dog shit served on a trash dump. like, i was a fifteen year old. he's a Grown Ass Man with a big platform. he dug his own grave by talking about himself first instead of actually addressing his mistreatment of shelby first and foremost. he didn't even MENTION shelby by name. talking about his "strides to betterment" without even directing his apology towards the person he actually hurt is just pathetic. that whole spiel about how he "thought" the whole exchange was consensual is fucking wild. he didn't even apologize for that; he moved on right afterwards.

we can infer that wilbur has been struggling with being a person who has done bad things through his songs and lovejoy's music. he might have been going through a hard time and maybe even regretted it (though his apology really makes it seem like he's just doing it for damage control), that STILL doesn't validate any hurt he might have caused. the least he could’ve done is to sincerely apologize to shelby, even if she didn’t accept it. but he couldn’t even do that.

it's just disappointing that, as someone who has a platform of millions of followers, he displayed an act of shallowness. in the end, his attempt at sincerity fell flat and benefited no one, especially not the people he abused. if he had properly apologized, even if his apology wasn't accepted, it would've shown people in a similar situation how to apologize to the people they hurt in the past in a mature and sincere way.

so, yeah. FUCK wilbur soot. focus not on the fact that he has done bad, but that the one he abused didn’t get a proper apology. support shelby and other victims of abuse. listen to their experiences and spread awareness of these cautions. uplift their voices, not his.

for those who have connected to his and lovejoy's music that have gone through a similar dark time in their lives, i also extend my heart out to you. it must also be hard to see someone who reflected your struggles of betterment reveal himself to be someone who really hasn't gotten better at all.

but you don’t have to be like him. you don’t need to follow in his steps as long as you own up to your mistakes, even if you can’t talk to those you hurt anymore. in the end, what matters most is that you apologize in a sincere way and make sure you don’t repeat those mistakes going forward.

you CAN get better. if anything just so spite that british boy’s ass

thank you. kiwi out ✌️

#ask to tag #discourse #am i yapping? maybe #but i just really wanted to say something about it because. ugh #actually not sure how i feel about tagging him any more but i do want to spread the word and trigger tag #shubble #wilbur soot #tw abuse #abuse ment #also after all this i still can’t hate lovejoy. their songs portray the aromantic struggle in ways not many other bands have #but that doesn’t mean i won’t replace their songs in my playlist with a local file upload get fucked lmaooo no money for you until #you get your shit together #kiwi’s calls

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avikats66 · 4 months

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Y’all let’s talk about Stolitz. And by talk I mean I’m going to throw this long and extensive analysis at you. Warning for discussion of miscommunication and dubious consent + self esteem issues and self sabotage (pretty canon stuff) ahead:

Stolas didn't initially realize Blitz’s original intentions when they ended up having sex for that first time. It would have only been after Blitz left and he discovered the grimoire gone that he would have realized Blitz only had sex with him in order to take his grimoire. Except that's not quite entirely true. While Blitz definitely seduced Stolas in order to nab the grimoire, he clearly had the opportunity to dupe Stolas and leave him there after he grabbed it. Instead he decided to actually have the sex which Stolas at the time would have thought he was there for in the first place.

This certainly doesn't mean that Blitz had actually been secretly wanting/planning to have sex with Stolas the whole time - it was obviously an extremely unexpected development for him - but that he did choose to do so without Stolas trying to force or extort him in any way. His exact reasons are not explicitly given but can be inferred with reasonable certainty/likelihood. Here's the scenario: we have Blitz about to make off with the grimoire with Stolas (at least seemingly) none the wiser, when Stolas goes and tells him how happy he is that he's doing this and how much it means to him, at this point still believing Blitz had come for the purpose of initiating a sexual/romantic encounter and being ignorant of his actual intentions having been just to steal the grimoire.

Going off of Blitz’s expression we can see he feels bad here. Like wow, this guy genuinely thinks I came here to make moves on him and he is so happy about that, and here I am in actuality just stealing from him. Since I am doing him wrong by stealing from him, I can do him some right by having the great sex that he thinks is happening right now with him. And remember that at this point Stolas himself isn't leveraging this reasoning over Blitz or using it to bargain with him - he has absolutely no idea what's actually going on, after all. The decision Blitz makes to have sex with Stolas at this time is made entirely by himself without any decision-making on Stolas’s part.

So Blitz is feeling a moral obligation (again, coming from his own conscious and not from Stolas trying to influence or guilt trip him) to have sex with Stolas, and also probably an psychological drive to on the basis of emotions like pity and/or empathy. Like this guy is clearly incredibly lonely and horny and will be devastated if Blitz doesn’t have sex with him as he thinks was his intention the whole time. That knowledge and the emotions that knowledge is is apt to provoke can create the desire to do the deed, even if not for the reasons of pre-established mutual attraction and planned activity which is what’s typically behind most instances of consensual sex.

It’s a very natural/human (technically Blitz is a demon but my point still stands given how demons are portrayed to be just like humans when it comes to emotions/intelligence and the capacity to be good and bad and choose to follow their own individual morals) trait to want to do things not because they directly benefit or please us, but because they will those things for others and that makes us feel good - especially if the said thing we do isn’t explicitly negative or unpleasant for us either, as is the situation here. While Blitz certainly didn’t have any personal plans or desires to have sex with Stolas that night, it didn’t seem like something he was actively opposed to or forcing himself to do either. And sex doesn’t necessarily need to have deep and intimate preexisting emotional connection present to be a positive, consensual, and moral experience either.

Of course, there’s also the other underlying factor regarding Blitz’s decision to have sex with Stolas that night, which is that he felt it might be advantageous or even necessary in order to maintain continued access to the grimoire. Again, at this point it would still have been entirely up to Blitz to decide, but it’s a very important factor to consider, especially moving forward as the relationship between the two continues into what we see in the show.

Sometime after that first night, Stolas becomes aware that Blitz has taken his grimoire. Heck, it’s even possible he figured this out during that first night and chose to let Blitz take it. Whatever the case, we don’t know the exact specifics of what went down, just that in the pilot and first episode we see Stolas talking to Blitz about how he’s not actually not supposed to have the grimoire and that he would like to set up an arrangement where he continues to let Blitz keep/use the grimoire and in return Blitz occasionally has amazing sex with him like he did that night.

This is where the consent starts to get (more) muddy and dubious due to the lack of clear communication and resulting misunderstandings. Going over it from the outside, you’d think at this point Stolas would have come to the conclusion that Blitz didn't have any intention of starting a relationship and was just using him with no genuine feelings for him involved, and thus him leveraging the grimoire over Blitz to continue their relationship is just pure extortion. But I don’t that he did, or that it is.

Rather, while Stolas definitely knows that on some levels, the sex Blitz had with him was a practical/transactional action taken to secure use of the grimoire, I think that he also truly believes that there is genuine mutual attraction and affection and want to continue the relationship present between them, and that Blitz knows/believes this as well. I mean, he certainly didn’t force or even plead with Blitz to have sex with him that first time; that was all Blitz’s choice and apparently he made it really good. I’m doubting that at any point that night, Blitz stopped to sit down and say “hey, you know I’m only doing this so I can steal/use your grimoire and I don’t actually feel any attraction towards you or want to start a relationship,” though.

So it’s really not unreasonable that Stolas believes there is something more between him and Blitz, and thus that he’s not blackmailing Blitz to have sex with him using the grimoire, rather that he is more so just negotiating a fair trade between equals. He’s aware of the power imbalance between them in terms of status and the grimoire in theory, but based on his behaviour in canon I don’t think he realizes (or at least not until later during the show as evidenced by him planning to give the crystal) just how impactful that imbalance really is, or that Blitz might actually feel pressured by it in any real way.

At the same time, Blitz is assuming that Stolas is just using him for sex via the leverage of the grimoire and his much higher levels of societal status/power, and that none of the affection or care he shows Blitz is genuine because Stolas understands that Blitz is only using him for the grimoire in return. That last part actually is true on at least some level: Blitz is definitely using his relationship with Stolas to access the grimoire, but I think he’s lying to himself and letting his perception be warped by his trauma and self esteem issues when he claims that there’s nothing more to it.

While he’s shown at times to be exasperated or not really into/put off by Stolas’s horniness (sometimes more so just for comedic effect), we do see him express genuine enjoyment with and care for Stolas throughout the show. It’s not like we’re talking Achilles/Patroclus levels here, but, there is something there on Blitz’s side too. I think the reason Blitz seems unable to properly wrap his head around the fact that Stolas actually genuinely cares for and likes him and that he could actually allow himself to reciprocate those feelings and actions is not just the whole miscommunication thing they’ve got going on as detailed above, but also that Blitz has deep-rooted issues with intimacy and self-esteem.

Blitz has such a low and troubled sense of self worth that he cant seem to fully accept or believe that Stolas would actually care for or like him in any meaningful way for real - especially when combined with the whole grimoire misunderstanding going on and the guilt he likely feels over it in at least some aspects, which is largely why he first had sex with Stolas in the first place. He also definitely seems the type to sabotage his own relationships - likely both on a conscious and unconscious level - due to these feelings of self hate and low worth (I personally believe he did that with Verosika and it was one of the biggest reasons for their breakup and current animosity towards each other) which I have inferred him to have based on canon such as the hallucination he has in Truthseekers).

So Blitz thinks that Stolas thinks that they both know their relationship is just a transaction, a transaction where Stolas definitely has more power, and thus Stolas doesn’t actually care for Blitz or what he wants. That Stolas might sell him out or punish him if he started backing down from their relationship or going too much against or refusing whatever sexual desires Stolas expresses by reporting him to officials or refusing use of the grimoire. And Stolas doesn’t realize that Blitzø thinks this, being himself under the impression that Blitz knows that Stolas does actually care for him and doesn’t want/mean to extort or force him into things he truly doesn’t want with him.

I just want to go over something here now: It’s normal for partners to sometimes do certain things with sex that one party doesn’t particularly enjoy for themselves but chooses to do because they don’t find it overly or particularly unpleasant or unbearable so they want to do it or don’t mind doing it in order to please and give enjoyment to their partner (which in itself can give enjoyment back as I’ve mentioned earlier). As long as there’s clear communication and the ability to set boundaries this is completely normal and fine.

The thing is, we’ve just gone over exactly why there’s a lot of misunderstandings, assumptions, and lack of clear communication going on between Blitz and Stolas. Blitz might possibly be feeling obligated or pressured into having sex with Stolas whenever and however asked due to the grimoire and his knowledge that Stolas could potentially deny him access to it and force him to choose between having sex with him how and when he likes or not having the grimoire (just because someone is okay with/has enjoyed sex with someone in the past does not mean that it’s okay if they are pressured/coerced or forced into having more sex with that same person again when they do not want to) whereas Stolas mistakenly assumes that Blitz knows he wouldn’t try to force or coerce him into sex that he wasn’t ultimately okay with having by using the grimoire as leverage - or any other method - because he doesn’t understand Blitz’s issues with believing/accepting Stolas’s care/affection or fully understand the reality of their power imbalance for himself.

It’s not until Ozzie’s that Stolas really gets that slap-in-the-face wake-up call, but based off the music video and the act of giving Blitz the crystal we can see how genuine and serious he is about this - plus how much he truly loves and cares for Blitz. I could definitely go on about that too, but I think that’s another post!

#stolitz #helluva boss #helluva blitzo #helluva stolas #fandom ships

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suffersinfandom · 5 months

Text

A Summary of The OFMD Meta

Sooooo... this is part one of an incomplete summary of A Meta-Discussion Of The Subtext by meratrishoslee (Mera) on AO3 (linked to, as the author requests). I hope it’s helpful to the folks who’ve been curious about it -- heyooo @fahbee and @pushbuttonkitty -- but maybe not quite 90K-words curious! I’m not going to comment on anything; this is meant to be an impartial -as-possible summary.

It's massively long, so this is just the first eight chapters.

“There’s every possibility you are still in your feelings as you read this, even weeks after the finale. You are in your autonomous knee-jerk reaction, adrenaline-spike, slapped across the face, feeling-so-betrayed-right-now moment. You’re valid. That’s absolutely what’s happened… on the surface. But as you take a deep breath and begin to examine logically what’s in the show and engage with the material both in its text and subtext, you will see a new concept begin to take shape.” (Mera)

Chapter 1: Overview

Some background: Mera was involved with The Johnlock Conspiracy and believes that TJLCers weren’t wrong. (If you want a fun watch, I recommend Sarah Z’s YouTube video.) Essentially, TJLCers believe that Sherlock and Watson of BBC’s Sherlock were supposed to be endgame, and this can be proved with careful analysis. This is often paired with the idea that there is a missing fourth episode to the show’s fourth season that will eventually air and confirm all theories.

Mera defines ‘text’ and ‘subtext.’ Text is “dialogue lines / Shot choices and directions / Visible actions, describable as stage directions.” Subtext is “every single other thing, as well as what is suggested by or can be inferred from the text above.”

“Whenever something doesn’t make sense in the text, it is a BEACON (or maybe even a LIGHTHOUSE) to look at the subtext. Your subconscious mind recognizes subtext long before your conscious mind parses it -- assuming it ever does.”

The rest of the chapter is devoted to short descriptions of Mera’s key assertions with links to relevant chapters and their convention experiences. They cite talking to Con O’Neill at Florida Supercon 2023 as one of their reasons for believing so strongly that Izzy Hands is alive:

I asked him for advice in a specific time of trouble, and he gave me something real that had worked for him. I asked for a hug and he gave that also.

As I was pulling away I said "I’m glad that I gleaned one absolutely true thing from your portrayal of Izzy."

“What’s that?”

I said: "The character (in my original work) that Izzy inspired – when he’s out of pain at last, it’s impossible not to love him."

That seemed to hit him on an emotional level; he couldn’t hold my gaze after that. He said “That’s what I’ll be taking with me today.”

This was July 1st 2023, after completion of the filming of Season 2. I've thought about it often as the season went on, and how it must have affected him.

We have to love Izzy so that he'll live.

Mera spoke to Con again at NYCC:

The last thing I managed to get to say to him was: "They gave Izzy Hands a Passion Play."

"They did?" he asked.

"Yes, they did!" I replied.

And I watched that brilliantly swift mind again at work, because he considered it for the briefest beat -- and said in a tone of joy: "They did; yeah, you're right!"

I remember for the minutes and hours after I was amazed: did he not know, somehow? Did the writers not tell him (and he didn't realize at any time since) that in first quarter of the series they'd given him Gethsemane, a betrayal, a crucifixion (okay, getting shot in the leg and head, but don't get stuck on the details), a burial, and then a full on canonical resurrection?

Con then said another very important thing:

"But I got over it."

[...]

If Izzy's dead (for real and forever dead) and he knew it, then what he said to me was on a level of cruelty that I could never countenance from him. If Izzy lives, then those words are yet another piece of proof to me that Con was clever enough to be right both for someone who'd only seen five episodes, and someone who would eventually see all eight.

Chapter 2: The Cup and Ball Trick

The chapter is an extended “game” of cup and ball (where a ball is hidden under a cup and the guesser needs to determine which cup it’s under) interspersed with pictures from OFMD at various points in season two. It ends on a shot of Izzy’s grave where his body definitely isn’t.

The important takeaway: Izzy returns from the dead once to shoot Ed during Ed’s final suicide attempt. Ed returns from the dead after the near-fatal mutiny. Why would you think Izzy’s actually dead and in his grave at the end of the show?

“I didn't cry at the finale -- I was too filled with joy and excitement. I was Mary Magdalene at the grave; I was one of the first to know the truth of the resurrection, whether or not anyone believed me!”

Chapter 3: OUR LOVE MEANT DEATH

"..because if [Izzy] doesn't [live], with what I know now, his death is a cruelty struck at every queer individual alive or dead since 1981.”

Mera observes that almost no one touches Izzy’s bare skin and Izzy bleeds more than any other recurring character.

There are two times someone touches Izzy’s bare skin: first when his screams are being muffled when he yells at Jim and Archie to kill him, second when Ed puts the gun in Izzy’s ungloved hand during his first go at suicide.

Conclusion: "Izzy is coded with AIDS.”

Ed holding his bloody hand up to the rest of the crew away when Izzy is dying is a “warding-off gesture.”

Izzy is pale and sickly-looking as he’s dying. “My gorge rises. In the year of our Lord Shiva 2023 -- THEY GAVE THE MOST QUEER CODED CHARACTER ON THE SHOW A FUCKING AIDS DEATH.”

Izzy touches someone else’s bare skin twice in the show, and both instances are Ed. The first is in S1E10 “where he puts his left Death-marked hand on Edward's wrist as he's choking him.” The second is in S2E8 as he’s dying “in his ex-lover’s arms” (notably, this is the same hand with the spade tattoo).

“If Izzy's well and truly dead, for real and stays dead... He is in media both the first historically and the most recent chronologically to receive a full on AIDS death.”

“Until they prove to me and all of us that only Izzy's grief and the specter of AIDS remains in the grave -- and the rest of our beloved boy, our new unicorn (oh hey do you know what Problematic Modern Culture says about unicorn blood?), our pure-hearted risen being, our self-sacrificing queer man, will get his chance to be touched, held, kissed, and LOVED in Season 3.”

Chapter 4: “The Third Was For Death”

“Season 1 was Pinocchio: a wooden puppet wants to become a real boy -- and does! Hip hip hooray; that was pretty easy. Wow, the cute tall young guy of the crew lost a finger and the mean nasty short grouch that some people hate and some people like (because they understand him on a visceral, subconscious, subtextual level) lost a toe -- but if that's the worst that happens, we came out okay!”

Season two is “The Monkey’s Paw.” Mera tells the story with pictures from OFMD to emphasize the connections. Importantly, there’s an instance of a couple’s son coming back wrong after a wish (Lucius). The final wish returns the son to his previously-dead state and Mera ends on a picture of Izzy’s grave.

The cast’s and crews’ interviews might not support the real narrative because they’re not allowed to say what they want to (“Ever had to develop code language to hide your queerness from your parents, your teachers, the state?”) They’re all “in distress” and trying to tell us without telling us.

“Why does the new (old broken down) house smell like death? Why does everything we wished for that we got feel bad? Why does everything we're supposed to be happy about feel sad? How long would it take YOU to spot someone blinking out the word T-O-R-T-U-R-E?”

Mera hopes that the next season won’t tell us certain a new story: George Orwell’s 1984.

Chapter 5: Where Were We? Oh Yes, In The Pit Of Despair

This chapter is about The Princess Bride as it relates to Izzy’s story in seasons two and three of OFMD. It’s a comparison based mostly on costumes and lines; there are no one-for-one character comparisons. Vitally, the plot of TPB is used to predict the next season of OFMD.

Season two of OFMD ends at the part of TPB when Westley is thought to be dead (Izzy in his grave). Westley is revived, soooo…

“At what point does a preponderance of evidence flip over into fact? At what point does a handful of chance coincidences become planning and architecture? At what point do you go beyond a reasonable doubt into conviction?”

Chapter 6: Birdman and Blackbeard: Or, How To Watch Media

This chapter is about analyzing media. Once you learn how, you stop being a passive watcher.

“Instead you read its rhymes and rhythms like a sonnet. You go to the media in return – you meet it halfway, like a lover. You engage with it. You find themes embedded in the subtext that, once unearthed and examined, continue to inform and expand your experience of the text.”

“The people that like things nice and easy are the ones that watched the finale of Season 2, got angry and upset and – instead of examining those feelings and sitting with them and figuring out why everything felt weird and fucky – wrote it off as bad writing and cruel showrunners, and are already onto the next piece of media to pour into their open eyes and ears.”

And that’s fine! But if you like to think, you interrogate the media and see what else it’s saying.

Mera summarizes The Hero’s Journey through the lens of Orpheus’ story.

Season two mirrors season one almost too well. “...Why are they recreating their first season almost beat by beat? Why is this “second verse, same as the first – only a little bit louder and (in many cases) worse? Then Episode 8 hit… and I realized. They wanted to make sure that, in every conceivable way, the fans had a subtextual map of the meaning of Episode 8. So the mirrors between seasons had to line up almost exactly.”

Now we go into the three-act structure and how the hero’s journey maps onto it. Mera then uses Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance) and to show how they personally analyze meta, but I don’t care nearly enough about what they’ve gleaned from Birdman to go into it here. You’ll have to go read it yourself if you want their methods.

“Remember: Everything on screen in the finished and published movie is a choice. If something doesn’t make sense on a textual level, it is often a signpost (or LIGHTHOUSE) to look at it on a subtextual level.”

Mera points to an article about three-act structure and notes that “fun and games” is both part of that author’s second act and the title of an OFMD episode.

“Are we being fucked with? Or are we being instructed?”

Chapter 7: If You Strip Away The Myth From The Man

It’s the Jesus Christ Superstar chapter and it’s massive. I’m only including the most substantial comparisons and points.

Mera starts by linking to a gifset of Con talking about Taika saying that Izzy and Blackbeard are comparable to Judas and Jesus (and then Taika and Con sang songs from JCS while getting their makeup done). Notably, Con didn’t specify which character was which.

Blackbeard is a myth created by (of) two men, Ed and Izzy. “there's always two male bodies involved: Jesus and Judas, and both sacrifice themselves to the cause.”

It’s easy to say that Izzy is Judas, but wait -- there’s a better and deeper interpretation! Look at this picture from S1 that resembles the Last Supper and frames Izzy as Jesus! “Now I finally understood. Sure: Izzy is Judas-coded. That's plain for anyone to see. But Izzy is also Jesus-coded… from the under/reverse side.”

Izzy is Jesus-coded for all of season one (even more than Ed), and the comparison is solidified by the end of S2E3: “Izzy Hands is almost fully and directly Jesus-coded, and after Ed's own resurrection (not as an agape-love self-sacrifice for the saving of others, but through selfish personal/eros love alone) Edward is now obviously the betrayer of the whole crew who is permitted to stay aboard only on terms of sackcloth clothing and uneasy tolerance.”

Judas died by hanging himself according to the Gospel of Matthew. The only characters we see hanging are Ed and Stede, which clearly aligns them with Judas.

Izzy is a good person. He cares about the crew; Ed never does. When Izzy’s wrong, he fesses up to it and apologies; Ed does not (or when he does, the apologies are bad). “Does he lie? Yes, ostensibly to protect his captain and crew. Is he fairly mean to the Revenge crew until they [...] become his crew? Pretty much, although I could argue otherwise in places -- especially the fact that while Ed throws Lucius violently and bodily off the ship without any warning, Izzy carefully puts the crew on a safe island with a minor fuckery of his own to keep them calm and happy until he leaves. (It's obviously not Edward's idea, although he does permit Izzy to put himself between the deadly Kraken and the Revenge's crew in order to accomplish it.) Is he selfish? Yes, and who of us aren’t sometimes selfish about the people we love?”

Jesus and Judas have massive amounts of sexual tension (yeah, can confirm). Izzy is Jesus-coded because, while he doesn’t initiate contact like Jesus does in JCS, he’s always looking directly at Ed. Ed is Judas-coded because he has a hard time looking at Izzy and finds it difficult to touch him.

“...If Izzy Hands is a queer man who is Jesus-coded, who we see go through not one but TWO passion plays during Season 2... [near-death after having his leg removed, end-of-season death] he is conquering the death of HIV/AIDS and queer grief. He has to die so that he can vanquish that very real death, and arise again triumphant over it.”

“One direct correspondence with Jesus is that Izzy is convinced of one right way to be (whether or not it actually is), and everything outside of that offends him viscerally at this point in the series.” Izzy is convinced that there’s one right way to be a pirate, and Stede’s fucking that up.

And back to AIDS/reverse-Jesus Izzy: “Now among the lepers we're back to the reversal: no one touches Izzy. He’s desperate for it yet can never allow it. Jesus’s touch, kiss, love cures – and everyone seeks it and craves it. They demand it, they swamp and overwhelm him. Jesus's naked touch/kiss/love cures disease -- Izzy's carries and spreads it.”

“Judas/Edward makes his deal with the priesthood/King George to betray Jesus/Izzy – his price is 30 pieces of silver/Stede’s life.” That is, Ed is the one doing the betraying in season one.

But the real betrayal happens when he cuts off Izzy’s toe and feeds it to him while he’s vulnerable. Important note for the AIDS stuff: “...Edward puts on leather gauntlets immediately prior to this assault -- he ‘gloves up.’ He doesn't have direct naked contact with Izzy's blood or flesh during this scene.” The toe-feeding scene is absolutely framed as sexual assault.

And the toe thing continues into season two. “Sit with that also for a moment: the faux consent of making Izzy remove his own clothing to bare his body parts for this violation. Is it too far a stretch to think that Ed also made him eat each one, in their own private, gristly sacrament? He did threaten to ‘feed him the rest’ after all.”

Here is the outline of Izzy’s first “passion play”:

Izzy's Last Supper: all the toes eaten before as well as the one threatened now.

Izzy's Gethsemane, wherein he begs his God for the cup to be removed: he tries to bargain his and the crew's way out with his conversation with Blackbeard, to find an alternative to the self-destructive violence.

Izzy is betrayed by his Judas (again): shot in the leg for the 'crime' of mentioning Stede Bonnet's name, or Blackbeard's affection toward him.

Izzy descends into the grave: lays in a secret tunnel in what we can believe is the lowest part of the ship, while rotting enough to be smelled throughout.

Izzy dies: he shoots himself in the head and both we and Blackbeard believe him to be dead.

Izzy is risen: he hauls himself up out of his own grave without assistance from anyone else, crawls to the main deck, reloads his pistol somewhere along the way -- and shows himself to his followers crew at last, in order to bring about their salvation.

Con himself said that this is a passion play, and it takes up a massive chunk of the first part of the season. You don’t throw something massive like that into a show unless you’ve got something bigger coming.

But Judas dies before OFMD ends (mapping OFMD onto JCS), so now who is Ed? He’s Pontius Pilate. There’s the whipping of Jesus (Izzy’s back scars), then Pilate kneels down to hold the bleeding Jesus in his arms. It’s this specific Pieta statue.

“Izzy has to die to conquer his own living death, to end the curse that has kept him untouchable and unable to be loved as he so desperately desires.” There’s the crucifixion for you. Izzy dies and is buried, and we’re still waiting on the resurrection.

The last shot in JCS is of the empty cross; the last shot of OFMD S2 is Izzy’s grave. “If the cross in the last and arguably the most significant shot of JCS symbolizes the triumph of resurrection and rebirth... the one in OFMD S2 must also.”

Alex Sherman liked one of Mera’s Izzy Lives tweets that he was tagged in.

Chapter 8: The Dual Substance Of Christ

Now we’re looking at The Last Temptation of Christ. This is another long and involved one, so I’m cutting a lot of minor things that don’t serve the overall meta. (I also know fuck-all about this movie, oops.)

“An argument can be made (and I will attempt it) that Judas in this instance is not only the show creators/writers room of OFMD who had to put their much beloved boy Izzy Hands through all this agony... but also we the Unseen Crew who adore him, who have suffered alongside him through all he's endured, and who want nothing more than to have him back and whole in resurrected triumph.”

TLTC presents another reason to identify Lucius with Mary Magdalene (and notably, Jesus can’t touch Mary -- because Izzy is AIDS-coded). Once again, there’s an immense amount of sexual tension between Jesus and Judas.

This Jesus is angry and this God is fearsome. Judas does a lot of slamming-Jesus-into-walls, much like Ed and Izzy in S1E10.

Jesus confirms that he is a heart and he loves, which solidifies Izzy’s position as the heart of Blackbeard.

In his final trial in the desert, Jesus’ final tempter appears as flames. Izzy and Ed both play with flames when they lie.

“Izzy is pretty much Jesus-coded as I explained in the JCS meta… but here also due to the timing and content of this scene, Izzy’s also Lazarus-coded.He dies, he goes into the pit of the grave, he smells of rot, then he is raised from the dead.” Lazarus and Izzy both have a rough time of being alive again and drink about it.

Jesus says “I have to die on the cross, and I have to die willingly.” This parallels Izzy saying that he wants to go when he’s dying. Judas doesn’t want Jesus to die, which puts him more in line with Jenkins and company than any characters.

“But Izzy has to die, in order to conquer death. He’s lived with the specter of HIV/AIDS that has separated him from loving touch and the sharing of physical intimacy. He has to go into the grave to leave his disease and his queer grief behind, and to be reborn to love.”

On the cross, Jesus says, “Father, stay with me. Don’t leave me.” As he’s dying, Izzy tells Ed, “Sit with me, Eddie.”

“I feel sick, and I think I’m supposed to. It’s supposed to hurt. Both Izzy's death and Jesus's crucifixion are supposed to be two of the realest and most awful and most beautiful things I’ve ever seen on television.”

In TLTJ, there’s an extended part of the movie where Jesus is in a kind of gravy basket. The events are all kind of odd. They involve Jesus sleeping with Mary (the reborn unicorn, free of AIDS and safe to touch). Jesus returns to his body, suffers, and dies.

TLTJ doesn’t cover Jesus’ resurrection. “We have to trust what we know of the story: that Jesus is risen, and only death itself remains in his grave.”

On to the next!

#ofmd #ofmd meta #but like ofmd meta summary #which is wild #izzy critical #i mean not really #it's a summary #no commentary from me #continuing the trend of spending hours on something for like three people to read #hey tumblr why is my spacing wonky when i post

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kess-in-the-perthchimzone · 6 months

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Kang’s gradual and complete breakdown

On rewatch, we were given a significant number of clues as to how bad Kang’s mental state is going into his conversation with Grandma Ging:

First, he stops and looks in on his dad. It’s easy to imagine that Kang is remembering how excited he’d been at the newfound hope that they might be able to repair their relationship, but that now seeing him on life support, Kang’s wondering if he’ll ever get to talk to him again.

Then, Grandma Ging tells us two pieces of what I think are critical information — Kang was supposed to stay in the house but he left in the middle of the night.

The last time this happened, when she was in the hospital and the dad stayed, we know it was only Kang and Sailom in the house. So now, we can infer Kang would have been all alone with all those big, dark, empty rooms. He would have had nothing to think about but his dad is possibly dying and how he pushed Sailom away. He would have been helpless but to remember how Sailom was with him the last time — how back then they were on the cusp of becoming boyfriends.

Then, Kang asks this. He outright tells us he couldn’t sleep and he needed comfort.

We know Kang has trouble sleeping when he’s anxious.

It’s not hard to imagine that he’s been like this every night since Sailom packed his things.

@criticallyobs speculates in their reaction episode that “hug you to sleep” might have been something Kang did with his mom.

He’s also asked that of Sailom, on a night before important exams. (I’m not crying at the idea that Sailom has taken on a role Kang’s mom used to play!! My screen just suddenly got blurry!!)

So before she ever brings up Saifah, we know (1) Kang probably hasn’t slept in days, (2) Kang is anxious, (3) Kang has been drowning in worry for his dad and thoughts of Sailom.

Well, then immediately after he came to her for comfort, she asks him about the subject that’s been torturing him. And look at him — he looks sick at the idea.

He is a relatively simple thinker so he asks this. In his mind, why would Saifah confess if he were innocent? This is a great example of a situation where he would normally lean on Sailom to help tease out a complex topic but can’t anymore.

And then, it gets even worse. Because if he didn’t want to talk about Saifah when he walked into the room, do you know who he really didn’t want to talk about? Saifah’s brother.

Grandma Ging is telling him here, Saifah would not have done this because not being in our home badly hurts Sailom. Someone who loves Sailom would not want to see him hurt.

I feel like any time I defend Kang I need to put these screenshots in, because not doing so would seem like trying to hide these words. Which again, are terrible.

But I said before, in ‘In Defense of Kang’ that what Kang is actually doing here is (obnoxiously) trying to justify his own actions to himself. He’s leaning on words he’s probably heard from his dad. He CANNOT have been wrong about Saifah. That is impossible to think about, because then it means that he threw the person he loved into a “difficult situation” for absolutely no reason (leaving aside the fact that he handled the situation badly even if Saifah were guilty). Grandma Ging has just point blank told him, if you love someone you wouldn’t do something like this.

This is Kang’s face immediately after he gives that little speech. He doesn’t believe his own words. He very clearly feels worse than he did before he walked into the room.

He already knew on some level that he made a mistake in sending Sailom away the night Sailom first left.

But this is when the full magnitude of his actions start to hit him.

Kang had already been grappling with the knowledge that he’d badly wronged Sailom when Sailom called him. He got to experience exactly one second of hope that Sailom wanted to reconcile, only for it to turn into a waking nightmare. This initial anger is his fear and self loathing bursting out.

((I do want to caveat before I continue that I do not believe it is entirely Kang’s fault that Sailom turned to escorting. Sailom turned down a genuine offer of help from his friends.

But Kang’s actions indisputably played a role. And he was forced to see in horrifying detail the consequences of him depriving Sailom of his support.))

Seeing Sailom scared and groggy and confused, shirt still hanging open from his near assault showed Kang in painful detail exactly how badly he failed to take care of the person he loves. In the face of this, anger so so quickly gives way to overwhelming regret.

Kang’s breakdown here is the final escalation of how he’s already been feeling since the moment Sailom walked out of his house. The escort scene gave the final blow necessary for Kang to shatter. It ensured Kang will never ever forget the importance of his role as a protector.

However, Kang had already been well on his way here for days.

(Find Sailom’s version here)

#dangerous romance #dangerous romance the series #kanghansailom #kess babbles about dangerous romance #kanghan kirttin sukprasert

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achilleslyre · 7 months

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@aquataines ohhh absolutely i am soo happy to talk about food as an amalgamation of the uchihas love and the way it haunts them after the massacre. i'm really passionate about this so you don’t even understand the can of beans you have opened. i am going to be talking about both canon and filler in this though, because there is lots of supporting canon however filler continues to support and fuel this thought.

growing up with his family, sasuke is very commonly shown at the dinner table with his family eating together, and it’s where a lot of conversations with his family take place. now to start this off, i’m going to point out the obvious that the uchiha canonically are a clan that holds too much love inside of them, which is what develops their sharingan. carrying so much love within you of course needs an outlet to come out. we don’t really see the uchiha showing much verbal affection towards each other but sasukes family very obviously loves each other. fugaku even tells itachi that he doesn’t wish for words of flattery, but nonetheless to show his thanks and return the love back to itachi for what he said fugaku immediately offers to get him his favourite snack, dango. so we would infer that they communicate their love to each other in a different way. food.

sasuke and his family really share their most intimate moments together when they are in the kitchen at the table. here is where sasuke asks fugaku why itachi doesn’t give him much attention while at the dinner table, and fugaku explains that itachi is just not very social, sasuke later admits to mikoto that he thinks he’s unfavoured between him and itachi by fugaku, to which mikoto explains the differences between him and itachi and reassures him that he’s not. it’s where they’re seen talking most commonly just in general as well, about the sharingan, about training, exciting moments, ect.. the dinner table is where their love is shown when they gather together and eat the food that mikoto has made with the love for her family. it’s where they feel most comfortable to show their love and be honest because in the kitchen is where their love grows.

why is the food their centre of love though? just in general making food for someone is something very special, intimate and ultimately caring. you are turning basic ingredients and foods into something for others to not only to take nutrients from, grow and gain strength from, but also to spend time with them and enjoy the taste of the food you made with care together. you pour the love you have into the food you make for the people you love because you want to see them be happy and healthy. for people like mikoto and itachi who’re shown to enjoy cooking, it’s something special that they put everything into because not only do they want to see their family eat to keep them alive, but they want to see them enjoy the taste and feel the care and love for them that they’ve stored within the food as they make it. they want to place their love inside their family and have them carry their love around wherever they go and what better way to store their love inside them other than to put it in the food your make for them? mikoto is obviously the main cook of the uchiha household and she makes sure that her family stores the love she puts into the meals she cooks inside of them. she is frequently seen ensuring that her kids are fed, making sure they’re filled up, making them lunches, giving them snacks and making sure they are eating good food.

itachi as well, in filler, spends the episode finally getting to be around sasuke and bond with him. the day was spent making sasuke happy and sharing the love that he does have for sasuke with his brother, and at the end of the day makes a huge feast for sasuke. he made him so much food to show sasuke that he cares about him and loves him, he wants to see him eat and he wants to see him eat well. he intends to pack him full of his love. not to get into the fact that clearly mikoto would have had to teach itachi how to cook, sharing the ‘secret’ of spreading love. now this isn’t canon however i personally would like to think (considering how young itachi is here and how much he can make already on his own) that mikoto also had started teaching sasuke how to cook a little as well. this will come back later, which is why i mention it.

the common theme within all of these meals— all of mikoto’s dinners, her bento boxes, fugaku and itachi’s dango, and his feast for sasuke— they are all good, yummy food. they’re something you want to eat and hold inside you and cherish. they’re all made and/or given with care, thought, intention and love.

sasuke grew up eating a variety of good tasting and well made food.

after the massacre, though, he changes. sasuke has lost the love from his family, he doesn’t have it anymore. sasuke grew up with food being the indicator of love, and grew up with the dinner table being the centre of family and bonding. as a reaction to the loss of his family he couldn’t bare to keep storing that love inside him, food as a love language died with them. his family was now gone, and the thought of storing love (read: well made food) inside him after his family was killed was not in the question. after the loss of their love, the only thing he needed to focus on was catching up to itachi to kill him.

here we can see what foods sasuke favours post massacre. “sasuke’s every move is designed to make him stronger, he approaches his diet with equal intensity.” his diet has changed drastically. from being fed a large variety of yummy, well made food filled with love and care for him to enjoy eating, he goes to eating raw and bland food, anything just to get stronger quicker. you could argue that he just didn’t know how to cook, which i can’t say he didn’t, but as i stated before it seems very likely that mikoto started teaching the boys to cook from a very young age, added to the fact that sasuke intentionally only starts eating food for its nutrients and health benefit, it’s fair enough to infer that he can cook at least some meals that he used to eat, he just can’t bare to anymore.

“he never selects his meals based on what he actually likes.” we look to his favourite foods to eat and they’re broken down into their health factors. this kid, reportedly, is known to be eating raw tomatoes simply because he wants to get stronger as fast as possible. he does not like the taste of what he is eating. he does not eat food with the intention of enjoying it’s creation. with the loss of his family he lost the will to store himself with love (this is not to say he does not still have love, he has been stored with love all his life, he is an uchiha, he will always be motivated by love), he couldn’t bare to continue consuming love filled food so he ate food solely to get stronger. food made with no care, thought, intention, or love. the love of his family haunts him. this is beside the point but i can’t even begin to express how heart breaking that is. the uchiha show their love with food and sasuke stops eating food created with love once he loses his family, all the love he had.

sasuke, isolated, left all alone in this village with no friends spent his time from 7 to 12 years old avoiding the love of food. but when he finally finds someone to create a bond with, what does he do?

he offers naruto food. despite what he says, this an olive branch to start forming a bond with naruto. this is him extending care with the intention of filling naruto so that he doesn’t go hungry. whether the food was made with love or care doesn’t matter because at that moment sasuke put the intention into the food. it’s how he creates bonds, it’s how he shows care and how he shows love because that was how he was raised, he was raised to bond over food, to show care and to love with food.

the uchiha’s love has always revolved around food and it’s woven so into the text that at this point it’s not even a head canon to me, but fact.

#and i know it's silly but not to even get into how the egg ova ties right into this as well.. needing the perfect egg to feed to his brother #ANWAYSSSS #all that to end it off with sns propaganda……….. LOLOL #i’m not joking with that last part tho.. it’s important and vital to the beginning of bonding #and it started with food #thank you for asking though and welcome to my twisted mind #there’s no way you were expecting (or likely even wanting lol) all this but….. the uchihas love thru food means so much to me #i'm *really* passionate about it and i don’t know how to express it in a concise way #i hope you at least enjoy reading this #the way that i wasn't even trying to write a lot but this literally became a meta #lmao #naruto #meta #jitter bugs u

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loserharrington · 9 months

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i’d like to preface this by saying i am not an expert on religion (or non-religion) this is simply information i’ve learned over the years of research and talking to those who do practice satanism. if i’ve got anything wrong feel free to correct me

with that being said, i’ve always had this idea that The Munson Doctrine followed the rules of the church of satan. be it the 9 satanic statements or the eleven satanic rules

eddie has a laveyan cross patch on his vest so he must practice satanism to some extent. Especially since it’s a pretty large patch in an obvious place.

it’s sort of complicated because it’s not really a religion but it’s still a practice. (one of personal freedom and rationalism.) it’s basically things he lives by to better himself and the way he interacts with others. the “rules” don’t need the approval of any deity because satanism rejects the idea of all gods. (it goes hand in hand with atheism) it simply encourages individuality, skepticism and living your life the way you want to no matter how “sinful” it may seem to others.

i think it’s safe to say eddie resonates with this. he’s seen blatantly rejecting and criticizing societal norms and questioning why he and his friends are seen as freaks and targeted because of their interests

now here’s where i start inferring things about how he practices

i’m sure he’s added to these rules (hence the name Munson Doctrine instead of a direct reference to the rules of the church of satan) but i think it still loosely follows those rules. eddie just seems like the sort of person who’d take something like this and make it his own, which is essentially what satanism is. (again, it’s not a religion so it doesn’t require specific rituals to be done)

or, he misunderstood or interpreted some of the rules given to him differently than others might’ve, which lead to the quote that started this whole rabbit hole i’ve fallen down.

Quote: “I just couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. … No way man, NO WAY, that like, flies in the face of the laws of the universe, and my own personal Munson Doctrine.”

i’m leaning toward the idea that he added his own rules and beliefs to the list because satanism encourages freedom and self expression, so he can essentially do whatever he’d like with his practice as long as he’s not infringing on the rights of others. (again, this would explain the name Munson Doctrine)

he might have added things (such as bullies/bystanders never changing. i.e: steve harrington now being a good dude when, in eddie’s eyes, he wasn’t before) because of his own experiences with people like that. [read here for more on that]

regardless of what he might’ve added or why, i do think that the Munson Doctrine is something he actively lives by. (ignoring the fact it could have just been a joke he threw in there to express his shock on how much his perception of steve had changed)

now here’s the fun part. my head canon i built off of this head canon.

i like to think that eddie didn’t come up with the munson doctrine on his own. his mother might’ve been a big influence in why he practices laveyan satanism.

now here’s why i think that:

1. it’s obvious eddie has some sort of ill feelings about his father, going as far as to say he told himself he didn’t want to “wind up like he did”.

this could just be him referencing the fact his father has been incarcerated for various crimes or it could be him referring to his character as a whole including his religion

this ties into fact that we see Wayne (who we assume is Eddie’s father’s brother due to their last names) is actively religious — at least enough to have religious decor around the trailer so it’s safe to say the munson brothers grew up religious

2. we know absolutely nothing about eddie’s mother which means i can make it all up !

eddie referring to his personal beliefs as his “Munson Doctrine” could imply that he’s not the only munson who follows these rules. he does say it’s his “personal” doctrine so i will choose to believe that is in reference to the new things he’s added as he’s grown up and experienced more things in his life

but before then, his mother could have instilled rules into him that he still follows to this day. rules such as these:

i just love the idea that eddie still has some connection to his mother and this is just one of the ways he honors her, but the idea of eddie finding comfort in satanism later in his life due to feeling alienated by the people of Hawkins because he’s different is just as good

in conclusion:

i choose to believe the munson doctrine wasn’t just a silly throw away line, and it ties into the religion he seems to practice

#stranger things #eddie munson #character analysis #eddie munson character analysis #steve harrington #steddie #stranger things 4 #the munsons #the munson doctrine #steve/eddie #steve x eddie #☕️

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taylorswiftstylequestions · 3 months

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I’m sorry but am I the only one who continues to be confused by this whole “Joe locked her in a closet” narrative. Like? Am I on glue? She released 4 albums happily dating him (5 maybe if you include midnights which. 🤷) and did press for all of them. She did plenty of stuff for lover and Rep/ attended plenty of events, and then we were all in a global pandemic lockdown for the other two. Like. No one was going anywhere. AND she recorded the long pond documentary. I get that maybe she felt like he wasn’t as open as she would have expected or liked, but it seems beyond weird to me that people imply that he made her choose between him and a career. She had a career and did PLENTY of PR during that entire time, she just didn’t do it with him. It’s fine if that’s a dealbreaker for her, but I’m baffled by the way it’s discussed. Am I the crazy one?

I can't speak to this effectively because I think there's a lot to unpack here. I don't know exactly what people are saying but I think that when we talk about Taylor constructing her life to be private, protected, smaller, quieter during that time period it isn't necessarily saying she did not go outside and she did not do promotion of her career. Nor am I saying that that wasn't also an active choice Taylor made and even wanted/needed at the time.

But I don't think this concept of "locked in a closet" is entirely right nor entirely wrong. Even with career promotion in mind, Taylor intentionally reduced her visibility in the public sphere during that time in favour of crafting a life based further away from a more visible life she had had in NYC. Again, that was a choice she made and needed. And presumably that was a choice made together.

There’s a lot we can only infer or make assumptions about but if I had to deduce based on “You’re Losing Me” and just pure guesswork is that certainly the isolation of the pandemic naturally tied in to the life and the quiet she was seeking. They were on the same page about things / their lives until they weren’t. And when they weren’t it got to a point of failing to address and fulfill her needs (“You say, ‘I don’t understand’ I say, ‘I know you don’t’.” / “How can you say that you love someone you can’t tell is dying”) that was devastating and detrimental to the health of the relationship as a whole. And perhaps the situation she once entered willingly became stifling and untenable when she didn’t want that anymore. Because as a poet once wisely said, “People are people and sometimes we change our minds.”

We don’t have the whole story (or at least one half of the story) so there’s a lot we don’t know. But I hope we get to! (I personally also have assumptions that there were projections about both their career paths post pandemic that didn’t actualize that maybe contributed to frustrations or changes in feeling. But that is absolute guesswork based on nothing.)

#opinion

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nightcourtreader · 3 months

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I’m a diehard gwynriel I promise but I think what’s annoying others about gwynriels being so sure about Az’s book being next is that it’s the posts come off a bit condescending. And when we claim Az’s book is next that way, it makes us no better than e/riels.

Just bc things are looking good in our favor doesn’t mean we need to stoop to an e/riel’s level.

I get what you’re saying. Like it becomes condescending when you’re attacking others in the process, calling others delusional and calling them dumb in the process if they think Azriel’s book isn’t next. That can be annoying. But it goes both ways. Gwynriels are getting the same treatment.

Is it ok for gwynriels to infer/think/state that Azriel’s book is next because he’s the acotar character who doesn’t have a book yet and is getting a lot of attention? Absolutely. Could it be a real possibility that gwynriels book isn’t next and it’s actually elucien’s book? Yes. But should we, as gwynriels talk down on others that don’t agree that gwynriels next? No. But others shouldn’t talk down on gwynriels for thinking it either. If you don’t agree just scroll or don’t engage/respond to the content, it just causes more conflict in the end. It’s already bad enough that the e/riels aren’t going to stop.

#pro gwynriel #anti e/riel #gwynriel #acotar 5 #acotar #azriel shadowsinger

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actual-sleeping-beauty · 2 years

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Image ID: Three days into pride month and thinking about how compulsory outness isn't the same as progress.

I mean, I get it. Years ago, I made a deal with myself after spending most of my 20s openly queer everywhere but at home, that I would come out to my family before my first book. I wanted to stand beside my work as an openly queer writer. But there were still parts of my identity that I wasn’t ready to share, still contending with privately, unsure if I would ever feel safe talking about in public.

I learned pretty quickly that I would have to go from a lifetime of being religiously repressed and locked-up-for-survival to 100% transparent about my identity 100% of the time to be granted the grace to do my silly little gay books unharassed. And I needed to do it fast.

Its ancient history now, and I’m so far past it that I’m absolutely exhausted with coming out discourse. I am out. I don’t come out anymore to anyone. I don’t have to. If you haven’t inferred it from my work, you’ve read it in an article, and if you haven’t done either, you can guess by looking at me. And if you can’t, you don’t have the range to know me like that. But getting here was traumatic. I don’t wish it on any other privately queer artist trying to do queer art. And I wish that wasn’t a price we demanded.

What I’m saying is, we don’t know who’s queer and who’s not. We don’t know the personal lives of people we’ve never met, who have never told us how they identify. Assuming someone is straight or cis and treating them accordingly isn’t always pushing things forward. Sometimes it’s stripping away someone’s right to privacy. Sometimes it’s putting them in a position to choose between safety and the ability to connect with and explore their queerness. I know where we’re coming from. I know it. I made my own choices. But the heart of my queerness is not a box or a locked door or a list posted on the street so everyone, for better or worse, can know.

I just think we owe one another a little grace. A little good faith. Maybe even some benefit of the doubt. That’s all.

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kidovna YES<3

vkelleyart As someone who is basically out to the public but in to my parents for reasons too complicated for an Instagram comment... just know how much I appreciate and admire you.

me but I’d rather not make myself that easy to find: Yeah <3 <3 <3

#casey mcquiston #rwrb #red white and royal blue #ols #one last stop #iksw #i kissed shara wheeler #pride #discussion of queer identity #queer #queerness #I have more thoughts on this but i want to have a version of this without my commentary which will be in a reblog #bc it looks cleaner this way #and it's a semi-wall of text right now as is

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desertfangs · 3 months

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I totally agree with you. I think that Daniel/Armand scene might’ve worked in the context of their whole arc together. The chase years, the Devil’s Minions years, the NI years, the break up years and their eventual reunion during the PL era. Just by itself, it would’ve been gutting to read (and let’s be real, it’s not like Anne ever cared enough about Daniel as a character to write a whole new chapter about him/his relationship with Armand). So I’m glad that in the end she decided to discard it. Also. I think Armand’s sweet and caring demeanor here is very reminiscent of Devil’s Minion Armand, he hated seeing Daniel suffer as much as Daniel hated to see him suffer.

Exactly, yeah, it fits as part of their whole story but it would have been gutting to read. I remember during my first read of TVA, I was into it, but I was also waiting for the Daniel parts I was sure were coming. Daniel was such a big part of Armand's life, and his character arc, he had to have a few chapters at the end! Maybe he'd even show up and meet Benji and Sybelle and ask Armand about this strange company he's keeping!

And then... sad trombone. I remember feeling devastated it boiled down to like half of a page of Armand being sad and hurt and not wanting to talk about it. This? Might have actually broken me but at least we'd have seen him and known where he was. His pain and frustration is more than understandable (and might have been more so if these scene had been fleshed out).

I, too, think I'm glad this didn't end up in the final draft. (I wonder if Anne regretted it because I know a lot of us kept asking her where Daniel was afterward, hahaha!) But I also agree that she didn't have the interest in him as a character to resolve his story in a detailed way, so having this be their last on-the-page interaction would have stung, no matter how one-liners we got about them being off together later.

I absolutely love Armand's sweet, caring demeanor here and that is what is so hard about not having this scene, because after QotD we literally never get that again on the page. It's implied, we can infer, we know they went to TG together, but it's not ever shown. And this is very them. Daniel being (rightfully, justifiably) upset and also clearly out of his head and Armand being tender with him because he is his child, his fledgling, and he loves him so much and can't stand to see him hurt. The way they always suffer so deeply if they see the other one suffering is just something I love dearly about Armand and Daniel.

Thank you for the message, anon, I feel I've done nothing today but talk about this but I appreciate that other people want to discuss it because it's really an interesting look into things as Anne saw them happening, or at least considered them happening. And I appreciate you and the other anons giving me a chance to gather my thoughts on this!

#anonymous #armand/daniel #the vampire armand #tulane #anne's notes #answers in the desert #daniel molloy #armand #devil's minion #vc #the vampire chronicles

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zahri-melitor · 1 month

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Okay. I’ve started Rebirth and read the opening stories of the following titles:-

Batman

Detective Comics

Nightwing

Batgirl

Batgirl and the Birds of Prey

I’m paused JUST before Night of the Monster Men and so I haven’t added All-Star Batman yet.

My first observation? Oh what a relief. It’s not perfect. There is work to do and it’s not a straight roll back to preboot but after reading my way through n52, characters and dynamics I recognise are back. It’s like DC suddenly remembered that people enjoy characters interacting with each other. And so, as best as I can tell, the concept was to sort of scatter everyone back to team positions that would make sense if the last comic you picked up was in 2011.

There is definitely some inferred off-screen characterisation going on: both Dick/Babs and Tim/Steph are extant relationships again. Dick and Babs had been longing ‘will they’ exes for the last 5 years of writing where they kept being out of sync with each other (the last time the two were actively dating on page was in 2003; the failed engagement was 2006, and they’d been caring exes shading back to flirting from about 2010 onwards). Tim/Steph broke up in 2004 and at BEST were amicable for 2009-2011.

Batman: Rebirth #1 – this is just a really lovely little stand alone issue that’s setting up Bruce taking Duke on as an active student. It’s just tightly written, with an interesting plot, nods at traditional characterisation, a less-used but known villain – it works really well as basically a training case for Duke. Note for everyone – Duke is still just a kid learning to be a vigilante at this point in the classic Robin model.

Batman #1-6 (2016): The team here is Bruce, Duke, Henry Clover and Claire Clover. This really feels like a back-to-basics storyline. The parallels between Henry and Bruce are not subtle, and they’re not meant to be; Bruce rescuing a family in his own situation and how it plays out is a well trodden story in DC, as is characters getting powers that the use of which ends up harming them. It was almost a modernisation of a Silver Age or Bronze Age story device that we’ve all seen plenty of times – which I guess makes sense for a Tom King story. I do have a soft spot for Claire here. This absolutely feels like a one-storyline-and-done set of characters (Gotham and Gotham Girl) who get hauled out occasionally in the future but mostly left alone. Waller seems somewhat more herself but unfortunately has still not recovered for her dieting. Every time they haul Psycho-Pirate out I wait for him to make some commentary on multiversal stuff, given he’s technically still on the shortlist of people who remember pre-Crisis, I believe?

Honestly, this storyline was mostly a relief after some of Snyder’s drama (said with full tongue in cheek over the fact it also included Bruce steering a crashing plane from the outside with cable and two rocket thrusters)

Nightwing: Rebirth #1 and Nightwing #1-4 (2016): This is very much a transitional storyline. It’s Dick’s story, but Damian, Bruce and Barbara are popping in and out of it. In terms of moving on fast from Grayson, the fact that Tim Seeley is writing this means that we don’t get a clean break (this is still basically a spy mystery story), but Dick putting back on the Nightwing suit with blue was such a moment of relief, I can’t tell you how big. He hadn’t worn that since 2009. It also unfortunately involves Court of Owls drama carried over from Batman & Robin Eternal and the 2011 Batman and Nightwing runs, but hey, Dick’s back talking to people, he sounds more like himself, he’s wearing BLUE, and he’s hanging out with Damian in a ‘I love him but he drives me up the wall’ way which is honestly not bad as characterisation. Also this line from Nightwing #2 (2016) stuck with me: “But Batman also taught me every life is worth saving. Even if it always seemed like I believed it more than he did.” While I have my quibbles over the second line (ACTUALLY Seeley that philosophy is pretty fundamental to Bruce), for Dick? At this exact moment in time? After recent events? It feels like a renewal. Every life is worth saving.

Damian here is an irritating little snot, but in the largely affectionate way he tends to get in better writing with Dick, and he’s still acting like a kid, which is always nice to see.

Detective Comics #934-#940: I’m not crying, my eyes are just watering, okay? Oh my GOD. This is Kate Kane, Tim, Cass, Steph and for some reason Basil Karlo on a team together. Okay. I see why Tynion’s run is considered a highlight. It’s not perfect, it’s in no way at all perfect, but Tynion took on an unenviable task (merging Tim, Cass and Steph into usable versions of their preboot characterisation/personalities grafted on to the existing situation of all three characters at the end of n52) and he did it in a way that spent a lot of time signalling that yes, he’s actually read their solo runs. They all had moments where they sounded like themselves and acted like themselves.

Tim still had his stupid arm computer and is at peak arrogance and at one point said “This is what happens when you give a sixteen-year-old genius who doesn’t sleep an unlimited budget” (sigh. SIGH. C’mon, Tynion) but my initial fears from the way the first issue was framed that Tim was going to be treated as less capable than Kate Kane (someone who, even in n52, Tim had spent more time as a vigilante than) were relieved by Tim slotting capably into the ‘support strategy’ role he is so good at. Of course as well then he is sort-of not-really playing around with the idea of moving on (he’s got his invite for university but you can read him as either ‘wanting to move on but trapped by Bruce inviting him back to being closer’ or as ‘Tim didn’t expect to get this, is stymied by it, and feels he’s being pushed about taking the opportunity if he lets people know’). It’s a concept he flirts with on occasion but can’t go through with. And then my sweet boy sacrifices himself and shows up Ulysses fucking Hadrian bastard Armstrong and… we get the acknowledgement that TIM IS THE GLUE. He’s just pulled this team into working together in a functional manner and we get “You were reconnecting threads that could not be reconnected. You’re so loved, so deeply intertwined. It became crucial that we take you off the field.” Which? He hasn’t been for 5 years of stories. That’s my boy, my fix-it Robin.

Steph…is sort of controlling and clearly lacking in training and has some edges to her and bickers with Tim? Which oh my god, I can see actual continuity with pre-War Games Steph here. It’s not perfect, she’s suddenly in an established relationship with Tim and quite focused on that, but I can see some Dixon in her! It’s a miracle!

Cass has had the hardest reboot of the lot and has lost 99% of her vocabulary and is back to her cryptid ways, but even there I can see Batgirl 2000 characterisation moments peeking through. She drops in the window while Tim is stripping down (Fresh Blood! FRESH BLOOD MY BELOVED. The parallels here!), she supports Tim during a fight but pushes Steph out of the way and takes over…that’s Cass’s assessment of their fighting abilities. That’s Steph overreaching her capacity and Cass dropping in to haul her out of trouble.

Kate Kane is very much Kate Kane and while I disbelieve that she and Bruce are really that close in age, this is the start of Rebirth and doing things like gently stretching back out the timeline so that we’re in Year 18 or so again, not Year 6. (Year 18 is rough back-of-the-envelope Year 3 = Graysons fall, Year 13 = ALPOD, Year 15 = NML, Year 17 = OYL to Reborn, then n52 is a single year). I like seeing her actually spend some time actively working with other Bat characters if she’s going to be fully integrated, rather than just turning up for events.

Batgirl #1-5 2016: oh Babs. While this run is winking at past Barbara characterisation (the use of Amy Beddoes as an alias! However there is no awareness that that is a name known by the Suicide Squad and Waller and not only heavily linked to Oracle, but to Barbara’s feelings about guns and Joker), it remains squarely in the ‘fluffy light storytelling that might be suitable for a 22-23 year old character but doesn’t match anything about Barbara Gordon’. I really wish this was good.

It is, I guess, an adequate tonal sequel to Burnside, and if that’s your Barbara you will probably enjoy it, but I can’t help but mentally want to slot every single one of these stories into a past history that occurred during Babs’ ORIGINAL stint at Batgirl.

The concept of Barbara going on a world training tour break isn’t bad and echoes Cass being sent off to Hong Kong (though Hong Kong is skipped over for Tokyo, Singapore, Seoul and Shanghai), but the heavy reliance on Barbara’s eidetic memory as her strong point and THEN Barbara ‘switching it off’ to be faster???

Batgirl and the Birds of Prey Rebirth & #1-6: It's Barbara, Dinah and Helena all on a team together? Miracles really do come true!

First point out of the gate: yes, I hate that this contains several take-thats at fans of Barbara as Oracle. I think they're mean spirited and exhausting to read. There is absolutely nothing wrong with fans of a team created by Oracle wanting to see it lead by ORACLE. THAT SAID, characterisationwise this is the closest I've had to my girls for a while.

Barbara is far more like Simone's n52 Batgirl than Burnside. She actually acknowledges aspects of her past, and the struggles it's brought with it and why that should have resulted in growth.

Dinah is unfortunately still running around as Dinah Drake Lance with the shitty n52 backstory retcon intact and reliance on the band stuff. Sorry, Dinah. The first run really didn't do much to recanonise anything preboot for Dinah, just outlined her new history, though Siu Jerk Jai got a few references.

Helena? Look. This is the fourth? version of Helena's origin I've read and it looks like it's most riffed off Huntress Year One, and it's sticking with Helena's mum having an affair, sigh. However, on the scale of "is this actually Helena Bertinelli", there is so much credit on the 'once again has a backstory that actually works as a Helena Bertinelli backstory' side of the ledger that I don't really care. This is about the process of rehabilitation, and Helena is not just a Bertinelli, but the first thing she does is butt heads with Barbara over their combined stubbornness and her refusal to take direction, soooo. Yeah, pretty stoked.

I will say, with this lineup of new histories, instead of being the "two cops' daughters and a mafia princess" group it's now the "Missing Mothers Who Might Be Evil Issues" team. Which is a downgrade. I wouldn't care about them bonding over their mothers so much if it wasn't stereotype missing mother hour.

Overall conclusion?

I became emotional reading Batman: Rebirth, 'Tec, and B&BOP. Even for their flaws they all were trying hard and hit me with what they were attempting to achieve.

This was in no way a complete fix, and heck DC is STILL untangling some of the threads that they started trying to fix here with Rebirth, 8 years later. But oh it is enjoyable to see writing teams actually try and act like yeah, people are allowed to like preboot characterisation.

#z canon read throughs #let's go rebirth #the worst I can say about any of these opening stories was that some were a bit average #I'll take 'average' over 'trying to make me gouge my eyes out working out how this makes sense' any day

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lover4st · 2 years

Text

confessing your feelings to robin; robin buckley x reader

Word Count: 1,932

Warnings: cursing, sweet ole gayness and lesbian love, sexual inferences.

title says it all.

so sorry I haven’t been posting as much as I do!

*not proofread*

(written in 1st person)

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

“Alright, you better find something good! And if you don’t, I’m taking my money back!” Steve was in the process of trying to get Robin and I food, more people have come in today which tired us out. Hence us of course wanting food. And it was Steve’s day to run and get it.

“No, you aren’t! You’re gonna eat it, I don’t care. Or you just get to waste your money, but you aren’t taking anything back!” Yelling while he was going out the door. Now Robin and I are alone besides the very few customers that are now here.

Robin goes to take a seat behind the counter, pulling out a magazine. She looks beautiful, so stunning. She doesn’t seem like the type to judge over serious stuff, but I don’t need her to think I like her. Then she might distance herself from me.

Ugh, it makes me want to cry. She is so amazing, and she can’t be mine. And I can’t be hers, because she doesn’t like girls. It makes me want to cry.

“Are you alright?” Snapping me out of my trance, I look up to see Robin looking up at me, magazine now abandoned on her lap. Realizing that tears had actually started coming to my eyes and some already slipped. I swiped them off my cheek and got up, I need to leave before the water gates release.

“Yeah,” giving her no time to react, I immediately left to go to the backroom’s bathroom. She still has customers to deal with, she will have no time to deal with me. And by the time she wants to, Steve will be back, and she won’t want to say stuff with him around.

Oh, how wrong was I. She was already out of her seat and back here with me by the time I was sitting against the wall. She was looking at me, concern burning in her eyes, while tears were burning in mine.

I looked up at her again, letting myself daze while the tears were running. How can I be crying almost so calmly? Because I’m looking at the woman I adore, and I think the absolute world of. How lovely she looks today. She looks lovely every day, but she did her eyeliner and mascara amazingly. It matches her eye shape beautifully.

There is no one she would ever agree to be with me. Never. I’m not even sure she trusts me that much. She goes to Steve with every worry and concern or just anything she has to say. Anytime she is talking to me, Steve is also there. And most of the attention is on him.

Of course, she has a crush on Steve “the Hair” Harrington. Oh, how it is killing me inside. He gets everyone, including the girl of my dreams. She doesn’t know how much I stare at her every day. She doesn’t know how much I think about her on my way home. She doesn’t know that I pick up extra shifts just so I can see her any time I can.

She and Steve always go out. Not with me. I don’t go anywhere with anyone. I barely talk to anyone either. I talk to Steve regularly, but I don’t know if he would consider me his friend. I don’t even know if I have any. But we have some fun conversations. He barely knows anything personal about me. No one does. No one has even a clue if I dated anyone, I did, but they kept it all secret so no one would know.

But I’m fine with that. Because I only want one person. And it’s the girl who is now crouching in front of me panicking and shaking me and trying to wipe the tears off of my face.

Funny, pretty, Robin.

The only thing I want out of life is to be with her.

“Y/N! What the hell is going on? You are scaring the shit out of me! Can you hear me?” The worry was streaking her face, it hurt me to see it on her. She of course still looked beautiful, but now she was distressed. Because of me.

“I’m perfectly fine, why are you so worried? You shouldn’t be so upset because of me,” she looked at me like I was absolutely crazy.

“What? You aren’t fine! And I am sure of it. What is going on? You can tell me. You can always tell me.” So sweet, so kind. To someone who absolutely didn’t deserve it.

She is looking at me, pleading eyes. I have to give her an answer, I owe her one.

“I just want something I won’t ever be able to have. And it is killing me inside, seeing it in front of me every day. Knowing it will always be out of reach.” Ending it off with a really sad smile. I confessed, not everything, but I confessed something.

Someday she will know what I mean, but not today.

I didn’t get to see her reaction; I couldn’t deal with looking back at her face. I looked down back to my lap. Avoiding her gaze.

“How do you know it will never happen?” I just know, I say to myself. I can’t bring myself to hurting the person who has brought me happiness, but also sorrow every day. “At least try, screw it if it doesn’t work. Run away or something. We will always be your family. As small as we are. Me and Steve. We can introduce you to some of our friends.”

I love you. I love you. I’m holding back from saying it. I can’t. She makes it seem so easy. But I can’t get the words out. These words are weighing me down. Keeping me tied to this ground, in this moment.

“You really want me to try it?” Looking up at her again. She swallowed, like she was nervous. How could she be nervous? Is she scared she might say the wrong thing?

“If it will make you happy, then yes.” That is all I needed. I can’t second guess myself anymore. I lunge forward and catch her lips in mine. She doesn’t move.

I don’t know if that is a good sign or a bad one. But I think it’s a bad one. But before I can pull away, she kisses me back as gently and hard as I am kissing her. She grabs my jaw with her right hand. and grabs my leg with her left. She is going to be the death of me.

I move my legs apart and slightly bend them, so I can drag Robin into my lap. And forget anything else exists. I guess she did know what I meant. Someday is today.

Robin is in my lap and above me, she has her left arm now bracing herself on the wall. My fingers are drawing circles on her hips. My tongue is in her mouth. It feels amazing. I have never felt more love and comfort in my whole life, than right now. Oh my. Heaven on earth is so true. People weren’t kidding, it is earth-shattering when you kiss the person you love for the first time.

My thighs are laying along her back, so she can’t escape. I need to stay in this moment. But she pulls away. No. No. This is where it ends. She regrets it.

She looks down into my eyes. A smile on her face that implies she is so stupidly happy. I smile looking back up at her.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that. But I always thought I would be the one pulling you into my lap.” This is the girl who reigns over me. Who could ask me to do anything, and it would be done faster than anything else I have done in my life.

“Don’t worry, you will still get to. This isn’t going to be the last time this happens.” I say, so goofily. She gives me a little chuckle. Both of her hands are now on my biceps. “I have always wanted one of those work romances, like you meet your lover at work, and it turns out to be the best thing ever.” Now she busts out in her adorable laugh, where when she can’t contain it, she gives a short “ha!” but has to look up at the ceiling for a second. “What can I say? I am a sucker for romance novels, too bad all of them are with a man and a woman.” She looks back down at me.

“We have to change that.” I need to say everything. Everything now.

“Robin Buckley,” getting a long breath in before I start my wild confession. “I love you so much. You are the thing that keeps me coming to work here every day. How much I would give for you, is unbelievable. My, you are so beautiful. So lovely. I stare at you so much; it seems like I am stalking you.

“You must look in the mirror all morning, do you? I don’t know how anyone can resist your beauty. How anyone can ignore it. Your hair matches your personality so perfectly. And the frame of your face. Your lips look so kissable, and they are. Your freckles dot my future. I could spend the rest of my life connecting them to create the most beautiful art ever, but it still wouldn’t be as great as you.

“I just can’t resist staring at your eyes, that is the most entrancing part about you. Nothing has the same color as them. The most unique and beautiful color in the world. Even if I did find something the same color as them, I would never look at that thing again. Or I would destroy it. Only you deserve that beautiful shade and color. No one else. I refuse to see it on anything else, I only want to see it on you. Oh, I could go on for days, freckles.” She looks down at me, tears are threatening their way out of her eyes. “My beautiful freckles.”

I’m not saying anything anymore, she rushed to kiss me. She is holding both sides of my head really hard. Man, I would let her hands squish my head into pieces, even her thighs will get the pleasure of doing that too.

I’m holding onto her sides tight. She is kissing me with so much vigor, her tongue rushing into my mouth. This isn’t a sweet kiss. This is a “I need you” kiss. I can feel a tear on my cheek, I open my eyes and see some tears flowing down her face. Wow, her make up smudged will look so pretty. No, stop thinking about that. We are still at work.

Wait, we are still at work. We probably still have customers, maybe waiting at the counter.

“Finally! But can you guys choose a better time! We still have customers, and they are at the register. And very pissed!” We rushed away from each other to turn and see Steve to our left. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Sorry!” I rush up onto my feet and help him put the food on the table that he got for all of us. I bounce out of the room to help the customers, apologizing every second I can.

“I see you got the girl.” You could hear them from the backroom.

“I did, and my life is already so much better now that I have her.”

#robin buckley fluff #robin #buckley #robin buckley blurb #robin buckley drabble #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x you #robin x reader #robin x you #pov #reader #you #female reader #lesbians #stranger things robin buckley #robin buckley stranger things

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