foodorwhatever

[foodorwhatever]

Holiday Charcuterie & Wine

How to gain 10 kilos in a single evening

I’ll break this down by cheese:

Jalapeño cheddar -- served with castelvetrano olives, sliced soppressata, odd little teardrop shaped Peruvian sweet red peppers, and green cherry peppers stuffed with ham and mozzarella (thanks Wegmans).

Dutch Smoked Gouda -- served with roasted pistachios, sun dried tomatoes in oil, bresaola beef, and green pesto. 

Manchego -- served with cornichons (weird lil pickles), jamon serrano, bruschetta, and rosemary crackers.

Camembert -- served with dried nectarines, fresh blackberries and apple slices, honey, and pecan cranberry caramel topping (also thanks to Wegmans).

All of this was drenched in 4 bottles of red, 2 bottles of white, and a few healthy shots of 13 year old highland scotch. What is pre-xmas without a solid hangover, anyway? 

#holiday food #hangovers #wine #charcuterie #whisky #highland #scotch #cheese #antipasto #food #family #indulgence #sisters #mum #drunken merriment

[foodorwhatever]

The Subtle Art of Tea Blending

How to not be an alcoholic during your doctoral studies: a novel.

SLEEPING IS HARD and doctoral studies are also a bit hard, so, in lieu of apple cinnamon bourbon I’ve been blending my own caffeine free teas. I’ve got two recipes for you turds; doctoral de-stress and chocolate rooibos chai. Bear in mind I do effectively no measuring and a great deal of sniffing.

Doctoral De-Stress

The major constituents:

Chamomile

Lavender buds

Some hippie-ass blend of lemon balm, valerian root, and passion flower, pre-packaged

Minor elements:

Rose hips

Mint

Fennel seeds 

Literally just mix up in a big bowl and chill.

Chocolate Rooibos Chai

Mostly plain rooibos (red tea), but I smashed up a bunch of things in my thrift store mortar and probably agitated all my neighbors. I didn’t bother grinding them, and more just cracked everything with the pestle a) because it’s tea and b) it looks fancy as fuck. These items were:

Allspice berries

REALLY BIG AND DIFFICULT whole nutmeg... nuts?

Cloves

Ceylon cinnamon sticks

Cocoa beans

Green cardamom pods

Things that came pre-smashed:

Black pepper

Ground ginger

Also vanilla seeds from the inside of an actual vanilla pod (needed no smashing)

Also also a bit of unsmashed fennel

Enjoyed with carbon neutral soy milk and a touch of stevia like a good and proper hippie. Both blends also makes some damn pretty office holiday gifts, packaged into little recycled mustard jars, especially when you and all your colleagues are eternally stressed out alcoholic academics.

Do good sleeping.

#cooking #well not really #recipe #tea #tea blends #caffeine free #vegan #hippie stuff #stress #alcoholism #academia #chai #herbal

[foodorwhatever]

Coconut Yogurt

Kitchen fermentation 101

STEP 1: POST ANTIBIOTIC GI DISTRESS and a liter of coconut milk. Less additives = more better (this one is just coconut and water). Clean a sufficiently large glass jar and find yourself some probiotic capsules.

SCIENCE NOTE

This is magnificent for keto people because the fermentation reaction uses up the natural sugars in coconut milk. For non-keto people or the very bold and daring low carb adherents, you can add a source of sugar to feed your microbes, which will theoretically be metabolized by the bacteria, resulting in lactic acid (which is what makes yogurt taste like yogurt) and carbon dioxide (gives a touch of effervescence, like kombucha).

STEP 2: As you pour, add your probiotics. There’s really no accurate measure here; I use two capsules per liter. More probiotic will give you slightly faster fermentation, but with a little patience you’ll get more out of your stupid expensive probiotic supplement.

STEP 3: Gentle heating, loosely covered; option one is a 10-15 minute hot water bath (just be careful with hot water + glass). The idea is to add energy to your fermentation reaction, not kill your little bacteria babies, e.g. do not boil. Option two; leave overnight in the oven with just the light on.

After the heat treatment, leave it in a dark (preferably warm-ish) place and let your microbe magicians do their thing. It’s ready when you begin to see a liquid phase separating at the bottom of the jar, which is effectively kefir water (also active). 

Feel free at this point to sweeten, thicken with anything from chia seeds to pectin, add flavor (cocoa powder<3), or just drink it from the jar like a barbarian (#me). 

STEP 4: no more penicillin poops c:

#cooking #sort of #probiotic #vegan #vegetarian #coconut #yogurt #recipe #microbes #fermentation #keto #ketogenic #ketosis #penicillin poops

[foodorwhatever]

Today I bought and ate smoked cod ovaries.

I regret nothing.

#seafood #ovaries #cod #torsk #på dansk #røget #fish #bad vegan #no regrets #denmark #weird seafood

[foodorwhatever]

Shichimi Tōgarashi Tamari Glazed Eel and Courgette

An eel recipe can only be Japanese.

STEP 1: All hail the Odense farmer’s market. I went with this Burmese babe from the office and returned home with my standard veggie haul + eel and monkfish. Slice the courgette and just kind of side-eye the eel over there.

KITCHEN WIZARD’S NOTE: Chunky-cut veggies = lower surface area:volume = less good shit cooked out of them. You’ll also take a bit more time to chew them and finally relinquish your undergrad habit of inhaling every meal.

STEP 2: The blend. The major constituents of any good tōgarashi are garlic, ginger, chilli flakes, sesame seeds, and nori seaweed. There is usually a citrus element as well (I just threw in some sumac), and sometimes poppy seeds make an appearance. Throw everything except the nori into a tablespoon or two of melted coconut oil just before the veggies.

STEP 3: The eel cooks quick, so I stir fried the courgette for a good 10 minutes before adding it. Toss with tamari immediately after adding the eel, and cook until just opaque; turning occasionally. When the eel is cooked, turn off the heat and add shredded nori (to avoid degrading super awesome algal micronutrients). Send pictures to the USA and disgust your parents.

Turns out fresh eel is finger food \m/

STEP 4: Bonus Round

Matcha. Coconut. Mint.

#heaven

#cooking #dinner #keto #ketosis #ketogenic #seafood #eel #veggies #shichimi #togarashi #japanese #food #tamari #matcha #coconut #mint

[foodorwhatever]

Crunchy Chilli Garlic 

The ultimate office condiment.

STEP 1: Dried garlic, salt to taste, and whichever chillies/peppers tickle your fancy. I went with my stock of naga flakes and a healthy dash of cayenne. Throw all the dry stuff into a glass jar and shake well.

STEP 2: Add a liquid oil of your choosing; I went with a mid-shelf olive oil. Blend well; make sure everything is coated. (roasted sesame would probably be amazing though)

STEP 3: Let the flavors meld in a warm spot in your kitchen for at least 24 hours. Spoon onto anything you feel needs a touch of crunch and unforgiving heat.

STEP 4: HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE

#cooking #condiment #recipe #keto #ketogenic #ketosis #garlic #naga chilli #chilli #spice #heat #devil went down to georgia #primus #vegan

[foodorwhatever]

HI TUMBLR

Sorry I’ve been shit at posting.

Turns out PhD’s are very time consuming. AND ALCOHOLIC. Behold, apple cinnamon bourbon, with which I have graced our noble biology department.

STEP 1: Mid shelf bourbon. Do not defile very good bourbon, but also do not and I mean do fucking not even make eye contact with that bottom shelf; it’ll suck you back into your bachelor’s era.

STEP 2: Look for cherries and find out DENMARK IS FUCKING OUT OF CHERRIES ?! (seriously 3 different grocery stores, neither fresh nor frozen). Apples instead. +Cinnamon sticks. Wash the apples well and slice.

STEP 3: Pack it all into a jar with a splash of vanilla and a few cinnamon sticks. Make a keto whiskey sour with the leftovers.

STEP 4: You knew this was coming.

#whiskey #whiskey in the jar #phd #phd life #jim beam #apple cinnamon #bourbon #recipe #metallica #autumn #autumn recipes #alcohol #probably not alcoholism #yet #vegan #this is totally vegan #keto #ketosis #ketogenic #technically

[foodorwhatever]

(Keto) Thai Noodle Bowl

Just like mum used to make.

STEP 1: Shirataki noodles. Made from konjac fibre and magic, these are actually one of two Japanese noodle varieties that are preeeeeetty close to 0 carb. Feel free to substitute actual noodles if you’re not riding the keto train.

These noodles are... weird. They smell weird, and they taste weird when not prepared well. I rinse them thoroughly maniacally, and soak in warm water and a splash of vinegar to neutralize the calcium carbonate solution in which they’re packaged. Then I dry fry on medium until they are... squeaky. JUST DO IT; you’ll see what I mean. 

STEP 2: Flavorbomb. Today we have fresh turmeric, garlic, and ginger, plus cumin, black pepper, cayenne, salt, oregano, and a dash of cloves.

I had previously grated the fresh stuff and let it sit in some melted coconut oil. When handling fresh turmeric, mentally accept in advance: everything is yellow. Your hands, your kitchen, your flatmate, your dog, yellow.

STEP 3: Dump that mess into your squeaky weird noodles and add some plant material. Today it was a veritable mountain of spinach; other good options are shredded cabbage, mushrooms, onion, courgette, peppers; really any wok veggies.

I try to cook spinach just until wilted to keep micronutrients as intact as possible. Top with a few eggs fried in the residual yellowness and coconut oil. Boss mode: enjoy with chopsticks.

STEP 4: FUCKIN’ CELEBRATE BECAUSE THAI MUM GOT MARRIED <3

To one of the best men I’ve ever met. Oh my black little heart.

#cooking #recipe #keto #ketogenic #ketosis #dinner #vegetarian #thai #food #turmeric #ginger #garlic #noodles #shirataki #black little heart

[foodorwhatever]

Chicharrón Colombiano

Tengo algo especial para ti.

Despacito = cook this fucker slowly

STEP 1: Party with the Latinos and accept in advance that Latino party = fiesta de la carne. Buy (conveniently inexpensive) pork belly and AYYYY TEQUILA fire up that grill.

STEP 2: Mix up a few tablespoons of baking soda, salt to taste (if the meat isn’t pre-salted), and a touch of smoky chilli powder. Make lateral slices almost through the meat, just down to the skin but not through it. Toss in the baking soda mix and parrilla despacitamente (grill slowly). Also spectacular in the frying pan.

STEP 3: FLAMING JALOVIINA

STEP 4:  Break the pieces apart and serve with a squeeze of lime and Luis Fonsi.

(I’m sorry; I’m so, so sorry)

#cooking #breakfast #technically #also dinner #meat #pork belly #chicharrón #colombia #latino food #jaloviina #on fire #despacito #luis fonsi #ayyy tequila #suomalainen #viina #keto #ketogenic #ketosis

[foodorwhatever]

Flavorbomb Extravaganza

Marinades, spices, and herbs, oh my.

I keep intending to do this and silly things like doctoral studies and Denmark keep distracting me. I think I’ll break down my favorite blends by geographical region. Notice I don’t include salt here, because in practice I put salt in fucking everything. Salt to taste, and do it slowly (you can always add more).

Sincere hat tip to my adopted international family for teaching me most of these. My biological family can’t cook for shit, and welp that’s what created the kitchen beast you see before you. All measures in ratios; I suggest pairing with melodic death metal.

Internet, are you ready to spice tornado?

FAR EAST

Thai Curry Blend We’ll start with Thai mum’s first lesson in Southeast Asian magic. This is lovely blended into anything requiring coconut milk (soups & curries etc), but could also flavor a biryani protein nicely. If pairing this with rice, I suggest tossing a bay leaf into the pot while it simmers down to compliment the flavor. Pictured above^.

3: Turmeric, ginger, cumin

2: Black pepper, coriander, chilli powder (or cayenne, and recall that my kitchen is a spicy one... feel free to spare your anus and reduce to 1)

1: Lemongrass & cloves

Japanese Togarashi Use this on grilled/roasted meat or veggies; makes a lovely marinade as well when combined with soy sauce (try blenderizing with fresh garlic/ginger, and perhaps a splash of toasted sesame oil). First encountered at an ESN (Erasmus Student Network) international dinner, and shamelessly exploited to impress colleagues from Hokkaido University. The proper thing to do is grind it all together, but I’m generally too lazy to be bothered. All roughly equal volumes in this one.

Red chilli flakes

Dried lemon peel

Toasted sesame seeds

Poppy seeds

Garlic (fresh or powdered)

Ginger (also either fresh or powdered)

Crushed nori seaweed

AFRICAN

West African Suya Marinade It’s made with fucking peanut butter (traditionally ground, roasted peanuts). I have substituted toasted almond meal to see how the ground nuts hold up against pre-made nut butter, and found I just need to blend with a bit more oil to make a sticky paste. I’m very much attached to living la vida low carbon emissions, but I just cannot imagine this on anything besides grilled beef. Pictured above^, blend into your jar of nut butter/ground (and lightly toasted) nuts:

2: Paprika & Onion powder

1: White pepper & cayenne

Garlic to taste 

Optional drizzle of oil (enough to make a paste that will hold to your meat; my standard is olive, but I think the best suya I ever made was with toasted sesame oil).

Moroccan Ras el Hanout Learned from Moroccan refugees in Athens, we used this on grilled fish and I pretty much died. Also Moroccan Arabic confused the fuck out of me; we had to talk foodie things in French, and this is a big spice mix. Once mixed, you can toss it in the blender with a few chillies, roasted bell pepper and tomato, caraway seeds, garlic cloves and olive oil for a quick (and niche flavored) harissa paste.

4: Ginger & cardamom

2: Cinnamon, coriander, allspice, nutmeg, turmeric, paprika

1: Black pepper, white pepper, cayenne, cloves, anise

Optional dash of mint (this was a source of fiery debate)

Tanzanian Pilau Mix Blend this into freshly made rice with a splash of coconut milk, + bell pepper and toasted cashews. Also wonderful on chicken. 

3: Cumin

2: Ginger, garlic, coriander, cardamom

1: Black pepper, cinnamon, cloves

Optional pinch of turmeric (also a source of fiery debate, I think the idea is just to give the rice a brilliant yellow color; saffron does the same job with milder flavor).

EUROPE

Greek Garlic Herb Marinade Incredible on chicken and any fish I’ve ever made. Super easy if you throw it all in a blender (using fresh garlic) but you can also use powdered garlic and enough olive oil to make a paste. Add some liquid (or don’t) to make a wicked salad dressing. Warm it up for lamb or moussaka by adding cinnamon + nutmeg and omitting the lemon. Pictured above^, blenderized. Special thanks to Greek mum, Eri.

A few full cloves of garlic

Equal volumes: oregano, thyme, basil, marjoram

Black pepper and lemon to taste

Enough olive oil to make a saucy paste

French Quatre Épices Take your Herbes de Provence back to wine country; this one is for autumn vegetables, ground meat, soups, and ragoût de boulettes. Learned in Paris from some darling vegan leftists, we used this in a tomato-based veggie stew.

2:.White pepper

1: Ginger, nutmeg, cloves

Levantine & Middle East

Za’atar Levantine topping for flatbread (mana’esh), salads, labneh, and basically anything. There are a few characteristic blends, and mine is generally considered green za’atar. Pictured above^ and learned from Syrian refugees in Greece.

3: Toasted sesame seeds

3: Thyme (and try toasting it lightly)

1: Marjoram 

Optional salt to taste

Baharat Literally means “spices” in Arabic; also called Arabic 7 spice. Probably my favorite blend ever for chicken, pork, and roasted vegetables. Pictured at the top of this post. Also learned from Syrian refugees, my blend is probably appropriately characteristic. You can find baharat all across the Arab world, and each locality (even small town) will have it’s own twist.

6: Allspice (yes there’s a lot of allspice here)

3: Black pepper, cinnamon

2: Cardamom, cloves

1: Nutmeg, ginger

Pakistani Biryani Blend Best on chicken and stir-fried veggies by my measure. This can also be blended with Greek yogurt for a bomb ass marinade or dipping sauce. Pakistani mum always scolded me for being too heavy-handed with the chilli; adjust heat to your surrogate mum’s rigorous standards. I suggest pairing with rice boiled with a few saffron threads, and maybe a bay leaf and extra dash of cumin.

4: Garlic

3: Cumin, turmeric, chilli (or cut it with paprika you fairy)

2: Ginger, cloves, cardamom

1: Cinnamon & black pepper

Arabic Coffee Spice Blend this with your coffee grounds; trust me.

3: Cardamom

1: Cinnamon & cloves

The Americas 

Central American Chipotle This is one firecracker marinade, dip, sauce, etc. It’s one I’ve neglected since my Mexican friend moved out of Joensuu, but it goes great with just about any protein, grilled or roasted. Pictured above during an evening of alcohol and merriment. Easy in the blender, but if you sub powdered garlic for fresh you could easily just blend with a bit of oil (+vinegar if you’re marinating meat) to make a paste. Blender recipe:

A few cloves of garlic

3: Smoked paprika

2: Cumin & oregano

1: Black pepper & onion powder

Chilli powder to taste

Enough oil to make a paste

Louisiana Creole The best fucking thing on fish. You can make this into a spectacular Caribbean jerk marinade by using fresh garlic and ginger, and combining in the blender with a fruit puree and/or brown sugar syrup. Another option is to use it in my remoulade sauce recipe here because this post is getting lengthy and I’m tired of typing.

3: Smoked paprika & onion powder

2: Garlic, oregano, basil, thyme

1: Scallion flakes, cayenne, white pepper

Optional warm it up with a dash of nutmeg and cinnamon (or some wicked hot chilli peppers)

New York Buffalo Wing Blend For gloriously crispy bomb-ass buffalo wings. I’ve actually taken to tossing things like savoy kale and cauliflower in coconut or olive oil and then sprinkling dousing them with this before roasting to sate my vegan buffalo cravings.

2: Cayenne pepper (spice weenies, cut with paprika)

1: Baking soda & salt

Pumpkin Pie Spice Last but not least. Also perfect in baked anything alongside apples, blueberries, or simple spice cake. Bonus round: cream cheese or mascarpone frosting (blend your soft cheese of choice with powdered sugar and a touch of vanilla).

4: Cinnamon

2: Ginger & nutmeg

1: Cloves and allspice

Optional dash of cardamom 

YOU ARE NOW A SPICE TORNADO.

And this post has taken me 2+ hours and 3 (rather large) cups of coffee. Go forth in the world and flavor it well.

#cooking #spices #herbs #flavorbomb #flavor blending #international #cuisine #spice tornado #marinades #sauces #damn tasty #metal #always metal #jaloviina

[foodorwhatever]

Damn Fine Birthday Cake

Chocolate, hazelnut, mascarpone.

STEP 1: I toasted my own hazelnuts at 200C/400F and ground them rough in a blender. I’ve actually no idea how much I used because I ate an unholy amount of them during this whole process. I ended up with roughly 2 dL/1 cup ground toasty hazelnuts, but feel free to substitute pre-ground hazelnut flour (and also try toasting it in the oven). Reserve a few tablespoons of ground hazelnuts for the topping. The rest of the dry mix:

0.5 dL/0.25 cup quality cocoa powder

1 dL/0.5 cup sugar (I recommend brown, and I added a few tablespoons of vanilla sugar in addition)

1 tsp baking powder

Pinch of salt

On the stove, combine 120g/0.5 cup butter with a 170g/6 oz bar of quality dark chocolate over low heat. Beat 4 eggs into your dry mix, and follow with the chocolate/butter mix. Pour into a greased springform (heart shaped for optimal romance); I also lined the bottom with parchment. Bake at 175C/350F for 40-50 minutes, until set.

STEP 2: Mascarpone frosting. Yessssss. 220g/8 oz mascarpone cheese at room temperature, and as much powdered sugar as you see fit. I used at least 3 dL/1.5 cups, but I’d stopped measuring approximately here... there was whisky involved. Sift your sugar and blend well and slow; feel free to thin it out with milk or cream, and add a splash of vanilla or other extract.

Pour/spread carefully over your COOLED torte. I don’t care how drunk you are, cool your damn torte.

STEP 3: Combine your remaining ground hazelnuts (3ish tbs) with another tablespoon or two of brown sugar, and maybe a pinch of cinnamon. I also had some ultra fancy cocoa nibs from my sister which went into this mix as well (chocolate chips are a permissible substitution). Sprinkle over the mascarpone layer and chill in the fridge until set; at least an hour. Remind him how old he is with appropriate candles.

STEP 4: Foist birthday metal upon him; enjoy his reaction.

#cooking #baking #dessert #chocolate #hazelnut #mascarpone #torte #birthday cake #metalocalypse #birthday #dethday #whisky #scotch #romance

[foodorwhatever]

Pansy-Ass Shrimp Curry

He wouldn’t have eaten it if I’d used chillies.

STEP 1: Spice blend for WEENIES (in ratios):

3 Turmeric

3 Ginger

2 Black Pepper

2 Cumin

2 Lemongrass (you can substitute anything citrusy)

2 Coriander

1 Cloves

1 Basil

I don’t think I’ve ever made a curry without the addition of fresh or dried chillies but ~somebody~ nearly died the last time I fed him cayenne pepper. 

STEP 2: Veggies. Your options are basically anything you can stir fry. Today was a day for radishes, bell pepper, button mushrooms, and garlic. Heat a pan to medium high and sauté in coconut oil with your spice mix and salt to taste. Once lightly browned and fabulously fragrant, dump in some coconut milk/cream. How much is up to you; depends on how thick you’d like your curry, and how strong you want your flavor. You can always add extra spice mix (and chillies if you’re not a gigantic infant). After the coconut milk, reduce to a simmer (medium low), stirring regularly.

STEP 3: Add your protein, which was shrimp today. This is also fabulous with chicken, and not half bad with tofu for the hippies in the audience. Allow to simmer until the shrimp is cooked; roughly 10 minutes for small shrimp, but up to 20ish if you’re using chunks of raw chicken. Serve over rice, or with naan for dipping.

STEP 4: Remember that he carried you to dinner the last time you were a weenie about wearing high heels and feed him happy.

#weenielife

#cooking #recipe #dinner #curry #asian food #shrimp #veggies #vegan #could be #keto #ketogenic #ketosis #romance #weenie hut general #seafood

[foodorwhatever]

I FOUND A THING

The thing is a person as utterly insane as I am. With a larger budget and a better website.

#vegan #ketogenic #keto #ketosis #jesus fuck #there is another #meat free keto

[foodorwhatever]

Scottish Secret Recipe Brownies

AKA the diabeetus.

STEP 1: Black metal brownie mix, double batch.

On the stove over low heat:

220g/1 cup (2 sticks) butter

440g/16 oz dark or baking chocolate

Dry:

2 dL/1 cup flour

4 dL/2 cups brown sugar (trust me)

1 dL/0.5 cup cocoa powder

0.5 tsp each salt and baking powder

Wet:

4 eggs

10 mL/2 tsp vanilla

Good splash of milk, to smooth out the batter

Smash all that together in a large mixing bowl and preheat to 175C/350F. Bake for 30-40 minutes.

STEP 2: Diabeetus. Melt two whole goddamn sticks (~220g) of butter on the stove over low, and bloody simmer it until it’s golden fucking brown, stirring constantly. Watch it like a fucking hawk for what should feel like eternity (20ish minutes) until evenly browned and fragrant. Dump in TWO MOTHERFUCKING POUNDS of powdered sugar (900g). I’m serious. Beat that in first, then smooth it out with another splash of milk and vanilla extract.

STEP 3: Smooth your first layer of sugary sin over your COOLED brownies. Chill in the fridge for an hour or so, and melt another 8oz/220g dark chocolate with a tablespoon or so of butter over low heat. Gently smooth the chocolate layer over your butter frosting and chill until solidified (at least an hour in the fridge).

STEP 4: Bagpipes and enthusiasm 

#recipe #baking #dessert #brownies #diabeetus #scotland #scottish #family recipe #chocolate #bagpipes #enthusiasm #sugar #really though #diabetes #unicorns

[foodorwhatever]

DRUNK ON THE TRAIN

And I think it’s time we had a proper lesson about labneh.

STEP 1: Pregame. Whisky.

STEP 2: Stockings; stretch them over a tall glass or blender bottle or whatever. Probably choose stockings (or cheesecloth) that have not been used as clothing. Mix up roughly 1 tsp salt per kilo Greek or Turkish yogurt and spoon into your fashion statement. Hang them up in a cool place (like a porch during Finnish “spring”) and allow to drip and dehydrate for ~24 hours.

Tasty^

STEP 3: Za’atar. 3:3:1 ratio thyme, toasted sesame seeds, and marjoram. I toss in an additional pinch of salt, myself. I’ve also taken to toasting the herbs and seeds myself, then grinding the herbs by hand with a mortar and pestle. Hello my name is jida.

STEP 4: Drench, and I mean fucking drench in quality olive oil. Sprinkle with za’atar and pair with a dash of sumac or a splash of lemon juice. Makes one hell of a dip/spread for pita bread, veggies, or a very large spoon.

#cooking #recipe #keto #ketogenic #ketosis #yogurt #labneh #levantine #spices #dip #spread #very large spoons #olive oil #za'atar #vegetarian

[foodorwhatever]

We are ready to be done now

#end #of the semester #mi compañero de crimen #mi otra mitad #lagavulin #whisky #scotch #keto #i guess #we done #finland #suomi #suomipaskaa #university #doneness

[foodorwhatever]

Princess Protein Bars

For the non-keto roommate princess.

My roommate sometimes gets sent off on various work excursions for a week or two at a time, which tend to utterly destroy his bodybuilder diet. He asked me to concoct something portable with a favorable complex carb/protein ratio, SO, I did this thing right here.

I call him princess and he calls me jenkki and ours is a beautiful symbiosis.

STEP 1: Dry mix:

3 dL/1.5 cup riisipuuro (Finnish rice porridge..? or oatmeal for yankees)

2 dL/1 cup protein powder (his is unflavored whey)

0.5 dL/0.25 cup vanilla sugar (another Finnish thing; sub white sugar + vanilla extract)

10 mL/2 tsp baking powder

Cinnamon to taste

**Do feel free to adjust the amount/type of sweetener as well, especially if you’re using a sweetened (and/or flavored) protein powder. 

STEP 2: Preheat to 175C/350F, make REBELLION TEA and also sugar syrup. I used another 0.5 dL/0.25 cup brown sugar reduction to bind things a bit better (I had intended to use honey but forgot that we’ve been out of it for like 4 months). Beat in 2 eggs and let the batter rest for 20 minutes at room temperature.

STEP 3: Spread into a pan lined with parchment paper, and sprinkle in some fresh or frozen fruit of your choosing. Get wild with other additions; nuts, dried coconut, bantha fodder, chocolate chips etc. Bake for 40-50 minutes and get ripped.

STEP 4: MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU ALL \m/

#cooking #recipe #baking #protein #complex carb #bodybuilder #princess #jenkki #rebellion #star wars day #may the fourth be with you #may the 4th #epica #imperial march #metal #fuckin brutal #bantha fodder #symbiosis #fitness