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idcbru · 1 month
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i remember adults telling me, as a kid, to listen to doctors and get my flu vaccine and any shots i could because they remembered Before.
then they started fighting Covid precautions.
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that the ozone was disappearing and the earth was dying and we needed to recycle and save the planet.
now my parents think climate change is a myth.
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that racism was a plague, that we had to love and accept everyone, that we should never judge before walking a mile in their shoes.
then they told me that protesting for my Black siblings was wrong.
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that we needed to give to the poor. working at soup kitchens. making quilts. collecting food and money and supplies. building houses. because it was the christian and just plain right thing to do.
now they look at me, on food stamps with their grandchildren, and lament the "welfare state".
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and that any rich man, especially an immoral one, should never run our country.
you can guess who they voted for.
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, so very much.
when did they forget?
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idcbru · 1 month
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A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.
Robert Frost
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idcbru · 2 months
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idcbru · 2 months
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I want the time back but not the thoughts, for they gave me lines of poetry you'd never compare to.
I want the tears back but not the lesson, for they gave me pages of introspection you'd never be able to achieve.
I want the overthinking back but not the drawls, for it gave me passages of comfort you'd never be able to give.
I want the happiness back but not the old me, for it gave me a better shield towards life I hope you never get.
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idcbru · 2 months
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everyone wants him, that was my crime.
the wrong place at the right time.
slut! (taylor's version), taylor swift.
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idcbru · 2 months
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“You are worth finding. Worth knowing. Worth loving. You and all your one million layers. Always hold that close.”
— Danielle Doby
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idcbru · 2 months
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and now you gave up, after the continuous breakdowns and hating them.
you fucking relented but don't do it again.
but then "what if ?" and you text them first. you hold your breath, goddamn please be nice. and then see all the reasons why they aren't a fit for you. fuck them, you think.
but then you're having fun and then you realise this is a wake up call. wake up. you're gonna talk but will not get attached okay?
you fucking relented, but don't do it again.
please. have mercy.
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idcbru · 2 months
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😔
what do you do when you like someone you've just met, but they're so mature and similar and just all your thoughts into one person? but they're unwilling to text first, get to know you, but they're such a shameless flirt? does that mean you've finally met your match or does that mean that the cosmos has sent you someone that is an exact reflection of you that you can't help but fawn over.
but then you realise all this and you're like, oh shit. am i a red flag or its just another person, get over them, sideline them and go fucking study for your finals.
please. have mercy.
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idcbru · 3 months
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not a huge pastry person but damn yumm
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mlsnmsv__
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idcbru · 4 months
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idcbru · 4 months
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LESSGOOOOOOO‼️
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We are ineffably elated to confirm that Good Omens will return for a third season! This calls for a round of hot chocolate and sweet treats!
@neil-gaiman
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idcbru · 5 months
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“Here i stand abandoned and forgotten”
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idcbru · 5 months
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They dressed on theme I’m gonna cry that IS Grover and Annabeth and Percy irl these kids deserve the WORLD
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idcbru · 5 months
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GOOD OMENS. SEASON 3. CONFIRMED!
Can we hear a wahoo?
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idcbru · 5 months
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Neil! You said you were walking YOUR DOG. I still feel cheated you didn’t brought YOUR DOG to tumblr yet! We want to meet YOUR DOG. DOG DOG DOG
(I bet it’s a really good dog)
He is the best dog. But he is a bit big.
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He is the one on the left.
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idcbru · 1 year
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I put this on my homescreen, hopefully yeh kaam kare ab.
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idcbru · 1 year
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im in love omg. the writing>>>
the angst. wow, its pain but damn, do i enjoy it.
Yours
pairing: sirius black x fem!reader, platonic!james potter x fem!reader
genre: angsttt
el's thoughts: friends with benefits hinted at, but not explicit. 'cause i can't write... ya know... so yeah :) ALSO the word count is 1.3k and that's the most i've written in a loooooooong time so i'm proud haha
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Y/N glared at the back of a random girl’s head when she saw Sirius leaning against the wall beside her. Talking and flirting. Talking and flirting. Her glare turned colder if that was possible when Sirius tossed a wink over his shoulder to a random guy passing. 
“Merlin, he’s such a flirt.” Remus sighed and shook his head in slight amusement, but his face turned concerned when Y/N didn’t hum or respond in agreement. “Y/N/N… You alright?” 
“Hm? Oh yeah yeah, I’m fine.” Her voice was light as if she was bringing herself out of a daze. James shared a look with Remus, a distinct look of pity on their faces. James finally spoke up, “You know you could just tell him?” A sharp look was thrown his way in response. “Y/N I’m not messing with you. Just talk to him.”
“I can’t do that.” 
Remus furrowed his eyebrows, “Why not?”
“He’s not mine in any way, shape, or form. I just… Just need to accept that.”
~
“We can’t keep doing… this.”
Y/N froze. She couldn’t bring herself to look at the boy next to her on his bed, “Is that because of what’s her face?”
“Jessica? Yeah… I um, I asked her to be my girlfriend and, um she said yes. So…” He ran his hand through his hair awkwardly as he waited for her response. Y/N nodded numbly, “I’m-” She finally turned to look at him and reached for his hand. “I couldn’t be happier for you Siri. Honestly.”
He smiled shyly, “Yeah? You’re fine?”
She let out a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as forced as it was. “I’m fine! We said no strings attached and there aren’t. I’m just so happy you found someone.”
She shouldn’t be jealous. She has no right to be, but she couldn’t help it. She hated the disgusting feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. She wasn’t anyone special to him, she was just someone he’d call upon. Someone he would touch, but never truly hold. She hated that she let herself fall for him. She wasn’t his in any way, shape, or form.
She reached for her jacket and slipped her shirt back on as she made her way to the door, “I’m happy for you.”
~
Music blared through the common room, and the chatter of all the upperclassmen was an underlining sound that filled the room. Y/N normally enjoyed parties like this but today she sat on the stairs of a back corridor, hidden, with a cup in her hand as she tried to keep her tears at bay. Tonight was supposed to be a night to have fun and finally get her mind off Sirius. Not a night where she saw him making out with his new girl, pinning her against a wall. 
She knew she didn’t stand a chance, so why did it bother her so much? Why couldn’t her heart just move on? 
James walked around the corner and saw Y/N curled in on herself leaning on the wall beside her. “Y/N/N?” She looked up with slightly red eyes and a pathetic smile, “Oh, hey Jamie.” Her voice has hoarse as she wiped her nose with the napkin she held under her cup. The bespectacled boy moved to sit on the step above her and ran his hand up and down her spine in a comforting motion. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”
“I know it’s not my fault, but I’m sorry that he’s an idiot. I thought I raised him better.” He smiled as a weak laugh fell from her lips. Before she could reply the sound of hurried footsteps and giggles floated to her ears. 
Sirius made his way around the corner with his girl clinging to his arm, swaying slightly. “Oh… Looks like this spot is taken.” A high-pitched giggle fell from her lips as she tried to tug Sirius away. He pulled back, stopping himself from moving, as he tried to take a step forward. “What’s wrong? Y/N, are you alright?” 
She couldn’t bring herself to look at him nor could she bring herself to answer. She angled her head down turning it slightly more into James’ side. The boy holding her felt his heart, ache as he shook his head at Sirius, silently telling him to go. 
Once he left the pair alone Y/N sighed and fully placed her head on James’ knees. 
“You okay?”
She shook her head and sighed, “I’ll be fine. Right now I’m just being dramatic, aren’t I?” He stroked her hair, “You’re not being dramatic. This hurts, it’s okay to hurt.”
“Yeah it hurts, but it’s just pathetic at this point. All the things I’ve done to get his attention just so he doesn’t notice. It’s embarrassing.”
James sighed to himself and bent down to kiss the side of her head, never stopping his hand in her hair as she cried silently, knowing this will be a long journey for her. But as long as I’m there for her, he thought to himself, she’ll be fine.
The progress she had made from that moment exceeded her expectations, and she was proud of herself. Within a few months, she had healed herself. She would’ve been even better -at least that's what she told herself- if Sirius didn’t approach her after lunch...
“You want… You want me?” 
“Yes!” Sirius let out an exasperated laugh, “And I’m sorry it took me so long to notice you. To realize what I had in front of me, and I know I was a total jerk about it then. James gave me an earful about it, but I see you now.”
She was cornered. So many feelings flooded her at once. Anger and frustration for him springing this on her unannounced. All the feelings she had finally worked through bubbled up in her chest again. She hated feeling so weak in front of him, it felt like giving into something she promised herself not to.
Y/N rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to swallow the emotions rising in her throat along with her lunch. “No.” Tears pricked in the back of her eyes, “No no no. It’s too late. It’s been a year Sirius! And all it took was for you to go date some other girl, break up with her and then notice me?” She shook her head and backed away from him slightly, “That’s not fair.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“I know. I know it’s not fair, and I’m sorry! Honestly, I feel terrible about it all.” He tried to step forward to hold her hands but she turned away from him, not giving him the chance.
“You can’t just expect me to be fine with this. I did everything imaginable to get your attention. It was dumb love, the type of love that was toxic for me.” Her throat got tighter and tighter with each word before she was finally crying.
“I moved on, I’m happy now! Why can’t you just leave me alone? I wasn’t yours then and I’m most certainly not yours now. You can’t just expect me to forgive and forget. I had chosen you over all of our friends and I’m grateful they didn’t walk out on me, but I wouldn’t have blamed them. I was a pain in the ass when you got together with her. Ask James. Ask Remus. How many times have they caught me crying over you as if you were mine to begin with? As if you broke up with me, but Sirius we weren’t dating. You didn’t love me. I wasn’t yours! Get that through your thick skull. I'm. Not. Yours.” She let out a breath and unclenched her fists before finally looking up at the taller boy.
He stared at her, tears lining his eyes as he opened and closed his mouth trying to get words out. 
“Don’t try to fix something I already fixed myself.” She took a deep breath, “Please.”
~*~*~*~
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