#//;i'm incredibly self centered and i don't know why. it always has to be about me even if i don't even want it to be.

[scn-thedog]

pov me seeing anything vague: omg is that about me

#//;i'm incredibly self centered and i don't know why. it always has to be about me even if i don't even want it to be. #//;i turn everything about me one way or another and i'm honestly scared that maybe it isn't just in my own thoughts and that maybe it— #—bleeds into what i do and say. #//;it's tiring because like. i have to keep reminding myself that not everything is about me. #//;and i KNOW that but a part of me is still making it about me or something. #//;and i'm also pretty sure most people don't need to constantly remind themselves that most things aren't about them.

[childofhypno]

just some thoughts from sherlock and co. Mailbag episode

honestly I did this to myself and at 3am no less.

In an mailbag episode on the sherlock and co. patreon, answering a question on their favorite musicals, John answered Les Misèrables. And being the romantic we know our loveable doctor to be, I was perusing the songs from the 2013 movie album and came across On My Own.

Sung by Èpoine about her unrequited love for Marius. And that is sad in its own regard, there's a reason it's one of the musicals most popular songs and Samantha Barks does a great job of that crushing emotional weight of being so wrapped in someone, so ultimately dazzled by them and wanting to be near them. But knowing they will not look at you the same, will not place the same value on the time and proximity you share. And that is not their fault and it is hard to love someone and desire to be close and yet have them be the source of your greatest pain and rejection, even though they may wish you no harm.

It's been hinted at and out right stated (by Sherlock) that John wants to be liked. And given what we've heard about John's last relationship (the one whereby he gained ownership of Archie after the split) and perhaps some insecurities there, insecurities in his own capabilities, comparing himself to others, its understandable to read John as something of an insecure man. Not in a toxic manner but John definitely has a lot of self doubts about himself and his place in the world and what he can offer to others. Despite him so naturally being able to attune to people and their needs and being quite bloody smart and intuitive. All round just a decent person.

And John, as much as anyone, marvels at Sherlock Holmes. This almost mythical figure. John admires Sherlock and maybe envies him on some level. I think not in Sherlock's deduction skills or specific knowledge skillsets but maybe in Sherlock's apparent surety in himself and where he is in life and what he wants from it. Sherlock is plainly himself, even if it means not "fitting in " John often tries to mould himself to what others might like, and hey, as a people pleaser, oh boy do I understand that. Almost becomes like muscle memory.

Sherlock in turn, I think admires John's social prowess. His ability to express the complexity of emotions. Just because someone doesn't emote the typical way doesn't mean they don't feel the emotions. And that can be incredibly frustrating when you want to communicate with others. Sherlock cares about people. He's interested in people. And he can't always express or connect with them in the way he wants. Like a language barrier he mentioned in another mailbag episode. That is why Sherlock and John work. They draw out in each other and supplement for the qualities they lack or yearn to have more of. They're a balancing act. A good one. And I'm not the first to point that out.

All this to say, imagine when that act is separated. The Fall. Grown so comfortable to have the other's support, always by each others side and then, suddenly the other person isn't there. And you have to remember how you functioned without them before. But you can't go back. You're not the same person you were. But if they aren't there to remind you, to encourage you, it's easy to fall back into old habits.

And so the song. On My Own. From John's perspective, watching the man the myth the dazzling legend that is Sherlock Holmes, getting swept up in the adventures, feeling totally out of place but thrilled be along for the ride, participating, maybe growing in confidence all because of coincidental flat share with possibly the most brilliant and bizzare man he's ever met. The world is changing for John Watson. And Sherlock is seemingly at the center of it all. He's found purpose. Friends. A home. Maybe more. But John is as fallible in his assumptions as any of us are. And Sherlock appears to have no interest in such relationships and John, not confident enough to make the first move. So he can daydream. Of what it would be like to be with Sherlock. And what it would be like be without Sherlock.

And then the Fall. And he truly is without Sherlock and his world has dulled and greyed and blurred. The city has lost its glimmer. The flat is quiet. The words are meaningless. And John sits with his what ifs.

Don't think of John hearing this song. Of the heartbreak of knowing that you can ever be with the one you love. And knowing that taste of what brilliant technicolours the world is when you were with them, full of stimulating twinkling lights. And thinking it could never be that way again. Don't imagine John, sat in the flat, in the achingly quiet flat, as a woman sings for her never was love, head in his hands, Archie resting his head on John's knee. Don't think of John cursing himself for not being sure enough to tell Sherlock how he felt, for not being good enough again to save his friend. Don't think of John Watson, once again, on his own.

#sherlock and co #sherlock and co. #sherlock & co #sherlock homes #john watson #I just have a lot of feelings about these two okay? #I dunno if I expressed myself well but here we are #jonklock

[de-vespertiliones]

Can I ask why you don't like RHaTO 2016? I started it solely because the scene of Jason and Bizarro talking on the floor on the first issues did things to my heart the one time I saw a panel of it, but I didn't get much farther. And I like how you talk bout issues

Oh, thank you for the compliment! Apologies for this taking so long. I had to reflect a bit. (For what it's worth, the scene you're referring to is one of my favorite scenes in RHatO and some of the best writing in the entire run).

Some caveats:

I like reading serialized comics, but I'm unpracticed in the art of reading serialized comics, so my structural analyses come largely from analyzing other forms of writing (mostly novels, some TV & film). This means that I might be expressing critiques that are not entirely fair given the nature of the medium.

I read the entire run in a couple sittings last September, so these are generally remembered vibes and not nuanced analysis. I'm open to correction if I've misremembered something.

I actually don't dislike all of RHatO 2016, even though I do strongly dislike some of the canon introduced (this canon is discussed in points 5-6, and thus contains spoilers)

Also, for brevity's sake (ha!), "RHatO" refers to the 2016 version; if I mean RHatO 2011 I'll indicate that.

Anyway, my problems with the run (cut for length):

RHatO doesn't know who Jason is. This is not a "RHatO!Jason isn't who I think Jason should be" critique (though I certainly feel some element of that as well) but rather a "Lobdell cannot decide the basics of who his version of Jason Todd is as a character." In a different run that went through the hands of multiple writers, I'd find this far more forgivable, but barring the tail end of the run, Lobdell is the sole author. Jason is by turns incredibly clever and incredibly stupid in ways that felt contradictory. I had very little sense of what he valued or cared about. Sometimes he expresses great empathy and sometimes he's bafflingly self-absorbed and the only thing that seems to determine these behaviors is what's most convenient for the plot. Don't get me wrong: there are Jason moments in RHatO that I absolutely love, but they're balanced by Jason moments that utterly confound me because I don't understand how this is the same person.

It's not an ensemble book but it's pretending to be an ensemble book. This is a fundamental issue with every iteration of RHatO (including the webtoon) because no iteration of RHatO is written as an ensemble book--Jason is always the main character. RHatO also sort of sets itself up for failure in that regard--Artemis and Bizarro are far less well-known characters with less history than Jason and would require more investment and buildup on Lobdell's part to make them more than just props, but Lobdell doesn't put in the work. Even arcs that ostensibly center Artemis or Bizarro end up feeling flat, especially because so often they operate in service to Jason, The Main Character. (Incidentally, the point when I found Artemis & Bizarro most compelling was when they were separated from Jason and allowed room to breathe and exist).

The emotional core of the story, insomuch as there is one, is between Bruce and Jason and it really, really shouldn't be. Don't get me wrong, I would read a million issues of Jason and Bruce being completely, wretchedly awful to each other, but because the emotional core lies between Bruce and Jason, and also because RHatO is trying to be an ensemble book, and also because Lobdell is very uninterested in crafting a story around an alternate emotional core, whenever the story isn't about Bruce and Jason (which is most of the time) it flounders. I'd say that's fine if Lobdell just wanted to write a fun, dumb adventure book, but the Bruce and Jason bits are too present to ignore, making the whole thing feel very off-kilter.

From a team perspective, I don't understand what Jason adds. The whole run is sold as a "dark trinity," but the role Batman plays in the Wonder Woman-Superman-Batman trinity and the role Jason plays in the Artemis-Bizarro-Red Hood trinity isn't really the same? I feel like I'm supposed think Jason deserves his place on the team because he's The Main Character, but even from a very mechanical powers and abilities perspective I don't get what he's doing there. He's not particularly clever or strategic. He doesn't have the resources Batman does. He's not the brains, especially because later arcs give that role to someone else. If I had to assign him a role I'd say he's the "heart," whatever that means, but I also fundamentally don't buy Artemis and Jason as a team or companions and would argue that Bizarro serves as the "heart" (as well as the brawn) most of the time.

(This section contains spoilers) RHatO introduces the stupidest plot threads and then proceeds to do nothing with them. Willis Todd is alive, for reasons. He's Wingman, who's just randomly part of Batwoman's Bat-Team, for reasons. He's Faye Gunn's son, making Jason Faye Gunn's grandson, for reasons. None of this has any real bearing on the plot but it does create a lot of problems for Jason's canon backstory, whatever it is at this point in time.

(This section contains spoilers) Which also, the fact that it opens with conflict with Black Mask, one of the few rogues Jason has had extensive conflict with as Red Hood, creates a nightmare of what's in continuity and what isn't. My understanding is that UtRH is in continuity, which makes literally everything about the opening act not only nonsensical, but actively confusing.

This is less a critique of the series itself, but worth noting: I generally disagree with how people rec the first half of the run (i.e. the run with Bizarro and Artemis) and not the last half of the run (the Red Hood: Outlaw part). I read the series in trade format so I don't have the issues on hand, but I think RH:O vol. 2 is way more enjoyable (at least when it comes to Jason content) than the middle sections of RHatO.

So I guess I have problems with consistency, character work, storytelling choices, and ensemble writing. I don't with it's a worthless run per se; it's certainly better than other Jason-centric stories, and I love Dexter Soy's art about as much as I dislike Kenneth Rocafort's, so that's definitely a bonus for (early) RHatO 2016. I also don't think Lobdell is a completely incompetent writer, necessarily; he's just lazy, and incurious, and generally kind of a hack, which in some ways makes it worse.

I also don't think anyone is wrong to like either version of RHatO. I am a very brittle reader with specific wants & desires from comics that are usually only ever met by accident. So, obviously, take all this with an amount of salt anywhere between a shaker and a mine.

#the mortifying ordeal of never shutting the fuck up

[reeeallygood]

911 Lone Star Rewatch: 2x09

Technically not behind this week... just delayed. Crazy to think that last season this would have been the penultimate episode! And season 3 has even more episodes than season 2! I can't remember how many we're getting for season 5, 12? It's going to feel so short!

The casting for young Judd was so good. I admittedly don't love all of the little kid casting choices for the characters (little TK looks nothing like Ronen), but Judd's is so on point. (So is Marjan's)

Sierra is an incredible actress. Her reactions when she wakes up and the car is taking on water just feels so realistic. I wish they would put her in more high intensity non-call center scenes. They kinda did with the organ stealing story!

Full disclosure, I have only seen this particular episode once before now. Which is strange for me because I rewatch these like all the time. But whenever I've done rewatches I always skip this one because it's just so sad for large parts. And so I kind of forgot about the scene where Judd is driving towards that tree! Judd having self-destructive tendencies isn't new information, but it's interesting to think about how someone who seemed so happy on the exterior was so full of pain and self-hatred. Like flashing from the scene of him with the kids in the firehouse to this... it's a lot.

Also interesting that both Owen and Judd have this repeated theme of survivors guilt. But Judd's feels more like blaming himself for the other people being gone. Like thinking about things he could have done different to save people. Whereas Owen has this "I can't seem to die" kind of complex.

Grace is so wise. I would trust that woman with my life!

It's really not often that shows give the audience multiple romantic pairings that are fantastic. Like I feel like there's the one people like and then one that's annoying or one that's uninteresting. But God, between TK & Carlos and Grace & Judd is just banger after banger in this show. (And I've even been a fan of Owen's relationships for the most part! Except for Kendra.) But Grace and Judd really are just such a great couple, I love them.

Judd's got Grace giggling it up on the phone. He's such a charmer, honestly.

Now they have me giggling!!! 'you're so tall' 'you're so beautiful' GOD!!!

So Grace is 22ish when they meet. And Judd is supposed to be what ?? I know Jim is 14 years older than Sierra, but I think they are meant to be closer in age in the show. So is he supposed to be like 30?? He says something about burying his thoughts about what happened with his friend for a decade... but I don't think they are trying to insinuate that it's only been a decade since it happened. Maybe a decade since he got out of high school and started being a firefighter. So yeah he'd be in his late twenties maybe early thirties. That feels right.

"where's my girl" I love that he says something similar when Wyatt gets hurt.

I literally cannot handle it when Judd cries. It hurts my soul.

Yeah okay cuz Tommy just got pregnant so then in season 1 Grace is meant to be about 30 and Judd is Jim's actual age.

HIM GETTING A PLATE FOR GRACE. THIS IS WHY I HAVE ONLY WATCHED THIS EPISODE ONCE. IT PAINS ME.

Grace's dad can catch these hands. "I'm talking about the color of your collar" PUT YOUR HANDS UP WILLIAM.

I like that Judd gets the tattoo after he 'breaks up' with Grace, cuz it's clear he's getting it to remember her by. Because he thinks she's out of his life now.

2,251 if you want to count me!!!!!!!!!!! JUDD

I want to own TK's pink sweatshirt.

ALL I KNOW IS HE HASN'T PICKED UP A PHONE IN SIX MONTHS. I LOVE THEM.

Wow. Amazing back-to-back episodes with bad call and this one. So great. 10/10.

Previous episode thoughts

#911 lone star #911 lone star rewatch 2024

[g4rchomp]

sorry for being the billionth person making a post abt barbie. also sorry this post is sooo long I have a lot to say. disclaimer: I am saying words recreationally, don't take any of this too seriously pls!!

a strongly anticapitalist feminist friend invited me to see the movie in a theatre. I was intrigued as to why she would suggest that so I accepted. she said she invited me bc she wanted to see how I would react and what I would think, which I find funny lol

good movie to discuss with friends and people you know in real life around a drink etc. but NOT on the internet. (this is perhaps the most important point I really want to stress that)

any criticism of mattel by mattel (who pockets revenues from the movie) has no value to me

great movie to practice your hater skills. the balance of good stuff and bad stuff is amazing to keep your haterism skills sharp lol

my biggest gripes with the movie

I don't like how Sasha's character (pre-teen who hates barbie and seems to dislike her mom but gets closer to her during the movie) was handled.

First, her very factual and true concerns over capitalism and self-image related to barbie are never explored or taken into actual consideration. throughout the movie she's urged to understand her mother more but her efforts are not reciprocated.

Second, I am sooo deeply tired of teens being depicted as angry for no reasons. like wooow you're growing up and now you hate me, your super cool and understanding mother :((( it's always deeper than this if your kid dislikes you. this stuff always get an eye roll from me sorry

overall the feminism sucked so just quickly: patriarchy is presented as an individual force rather than a systemic one, no mention of race/age/class/sexual orientation etc. etc. etc. only misogyny but the world doesn't work like that

on that topic btw I didn't like how weird barbie (virtually the only gnc barbie) is only here to repair other barbies and make them whole again and doesn't exist outside of that. how fitting lollll

also seeing sasha go from 'I hate barbie and societal expectations' to 'barbie is my friend I'm wearing pink now' was kinda sad. gnc girls and girls who aren't girls I love you. in itself this trajectory isn't necessarily bad but on a personal level it just felt wrong.

it is an ok point of entry/conversation starters for feminist concerns if you're really on ground 0

forever my biggest gripe with the movie is how marketed it was and how it's made to sell me products. any feminism that attempts to grab my wallet isn't feminism I'm interested in

three really distasteful moments that stood out to me:

indigenous catching smallpox joke -> just shut the fuck up incredibly inappropriate and violent.

'to show how our character becomes human, we show she's going to the obgyn hihi' not funny didn't laugh it felt bioessentialist and to have it be the closing scene of the movie was just a bad move (to me at least but more on that later lol)

'margot robbie might not be the best person to deliver a message about how women shouldn't feel pressure to feel beautiful hihi' yeah she's not. congrats on making money by centering a beautiful skinny white woman and telling the audience you did it on purpose

lighthearted stuff

the music was fun I like how they used it throughout the movie

the costumes looked good, the film was pretty and I liked the acting it looked like they had fun filming

it was a real 'oh I get it now' moment when I saw 2ft margot robbie on the screen. she is attractive I can see it now

not related but it was kinda like straight people camp lol

the final scene (aka my other biggest gripe with the movie but it gets a section to itself)

women go to the obgyn hihihihi. ok first of all cool welcome to one of the most central sphere to violence against women. second going to the obgyn isn't a universal experience for women for many, many reasons. third ig it was a joke that fits the humorous tone of the movie but it didn't land for me.

ALSO. they already had the perfect ending (imo) with the pink birkenstocks!! early in the movie she has to make a choice between pretty pink heels and ugly brown sandals. we see her at the end wearing pink sandals. having her picking her new shoes would show she journey she's been on much better than the obgyn joke imo!!!

Anyways here are my thoughts. I'd be interested to know what you think abt these points or if you felt this way when watching the movie too, although honestly I feel like online settings are less than ideals to talk abt that. I wouldn't say I hated the movie (despite what the post might suggest lol) I don't regret seeing it. at least the movie made me want to talk about it and clarify some feelings I have after watching it, which is always something even if I disliked many things abt it!

#didn't think I'd have so much to say BUT I am a hater and a lover which makes me talkative. sorry #also worth saying if you are not following me pleaaaaase don't engage with this post that would be super appreciated!!

[incarnateirony]

Truly though, the longer I do this whole metanarrative style DJ leak thing with occasional primer videos, the more I understand why Riddler Khu does things the way they do.

While never have I EVER encountered a fandom so basically rich-socialite-corrupted that people are trained to successfully mass attack/doxx leakers in the name of angry con kids that want to be ITK (2po, scripthunt, every mod in that lot.), much less a fandom that FALLS for this shit as routinely,

Khu still gets obnoxious shit from the occasional PROVE IT TO ME jackass, but it's incredibly rare despite the magnitude of the fandom. Similar to my case, most people with brains recognize how reliable he's been and why he can't say where his shit is from and leave it be but there is always that one self centered motherfucker trying to make it All About Them like folks here do.

But for those who don't know, Riddler Khu is one of the top leakers in the pokemon fandom. But he never just says shit outright. He does things like post pictures that, while themselves are not new content images, tell enough of a story that people use their brains and riddle it out together, and it always comes true.

Ever since I started the musical method, there's been an interesting phenomenon. Most loudly of it, it's that the obnoxious white noise of lies that spew out of my cult of antis just has nothing to latch onto. They lack the honest effort or mental capacity, one or the other, to actually listen, much less do so routinely to the various parts and get the full context. But there's plenty of people that have been listening and have since developed some pretty crystal clear ideas of what I'm saying, maybe even clearer than if I tried to write longass technical posts about it.

And that's it at the end of the day. Haters simply don't have the capacity to Do What I Do, and that makes them angry, but then what I Do What I Do via abstract means, they don't even know what they're supposed to be hating on or lying to counterpoint. They have neither the sense nor the context. So then it just becomes shrill general antiscreaming like it is in its bones. THE ARTIST THAT MAKES THEIR OWN CONTENT UNLIKE US RESELLING OTHER PEOPLES SHIT HAS A PATREON! EVILLLLL! STUPID POOPIE HEAD POSTING VIDEOS I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

And then you see it for what it is. A bunch of angry children throwing feces at the wall. Definitional smear campaigns that they hope to see work, they hope to hide the truth, hope to chase out the person that's been running circles around them for years, but they can't.

And since then, well. All the lies, all the filth he put out there against me. I realized it's been completely undone, looking at the follower count I largely ignore. Why? Because hate doesn't have what it takes to take down the truth, as long as the truth itself doesn't yield to their attacks, which is why spnscripthunt members have been escalating their doxxing, threats, etc the last few months. That's it. That's all they have left. Anger, hatred, revenge. And it's really just, it's all their own faults and they know it. On every level, this is a self inflicted wound. But it's what they have left, for almost exactly 2 months, so goddamn they're gonna keep up the shrill teakettle sounds until the spout clogs and they just explode from pressure.

So yeah. I totally understand both why Riddler Khu and Bobo engage the way they do now. Even when it comes to genuine people, they seem to feel, idk, better? About figuring out parts of it themselves too. Like people love playing Clue anyway and it actually seems to be a better way to spread leaks or any kind of information, period, than writing bigassed posts trying to explain it all that people zone out on.

Just. Thoughts. But no, spnscripthunt. To each and every mod there, I am not ever, EVER going to let this fandom forget you doxxing randoms trying to retaliate against me, and you doing NOTHING to penalize or disassociate from that mod, because you were all involved. Not going to let them forget 2po's con sources threatening hellers at cons with physical violence. Not going to let them forget that you KNEW you were lying when you said my pilot script was fake--lying for EIGHT MONTHS--but you were that dedicated to your hate campaign and salty my copy was newer than your coffee runners, and saltier I knew it despite you throwing half the uninformed fandom at me and couldn't be shaken because we had older drafts and, well, knew it was fucking real resultingly.

They're not gonna forget. And now with this nice collected block list of their mods and users hate trolling my anon box, it's a nice little record to Never Forget, especially once 1x13 airs, and they're truly shown as the hating, anti, bitter, lying frauds they are. Because it's not about The Truth to them. It's not even about the show. It's barely about leaks anymore. It's about their egos, and the violence with which they lost the whole farm.

[kimwexlers-brownhair]

what are your thoughts on Gilmore girls so far?

I'm on season 3, so my thoughts may change, but so far I really love it, for the most part.

I'm fascinated by Rory. I'd very much like to study her under glass. I know a lot of people say the later seasons absolutely ruin Rory's character, and of course I'll have to wait for said seasons to say for sure, but I think there've been plenty of hints so far that she's got a darker side. The way she talked to Shane in the hair dye shop? Atrocious.

I mean, I don't really blame her at this point in the show. She's very young. Lorelai obviously overcorrected her parents' mistakes by making Rory her prococious other half and she along with her grandparents and the rest of Stars Hollow treat her like the preciousest princess ever. It's impossible for that not to warp a kid's mind.

I have the advantage of being older than most of my generation was when they first watched, so I can afford to be more objective. I told two friends my age who were huge fans back in the day that I was finally watching it and they both said they were "total Rorys". And I was like...no you weren't! I knew one of you back then, and you may be as smart as Rory, but you definitely were more of a Type A Paris! And that's great, because Paris is the greatest! But it's inevitable if you were a teenager in 2000 watching Gilmore Girls you'd imprint hard on Rory no matter what you were really like. You're meant to.

(I was a Lane who aged into a Luke)

But I do think the writers were slowly building to how unprepared all this adulation and idolizing made Rory for the real world. She may be incredibly smart, but there is no way she becomes the next Christiane Amanpour. When she sits like a bump on a log next to Paris when they're both supposed to be interviewing the college admissions people? Paris has the guts for that kind of life, but not Rory. That girl has zero guts. She'd make a kickass librarian, though. Some place like Library of Congress would be perfect for her, since I'm sure there are a lot of opportunities to help journalists in their research, which she'd be totally boss at. But charging into war zones and being, dare I say it, pushy sometimes and aggressive in not a passive way? Nah.

Not to be all Logan Roy about it, but she's just not built for it. And that's okay! Neither am I! And that's why I do work at a library! But of course, Rory is meant for GrEaTeR ThInGs.

I am very empathetic to Lorelai -- for anyone who says she acts like a spoiled brat to her parents, may I remind you of that time Richard blamed her for Christopher marrying someone else because she didn't marry him at *sixteen?* Fuck her parents, she's always laying down reasonable boundaries and trying to be the bigger person (okay, maybe not ALWAYS, but still) -- anyway, I'm empathetic to her, but she has put a whole different kind of pressure and set of expectations on Rory than her parents put on her.

"We're best friends first and mother and daughter second." Well, that's a big magenta flag if not outright red. I still give her a lot of leeway because of having Rory so young and the fact she herself never got to grow up normally. But it doesn't do Rory any favors.

And don't get me started on the Rory-Dean-Jess triangle. It's another example of how I'm older (and possibly more aromantic) than the target demographic. I just don't give any kind of shit about it other than the fact the storyline reveals more of Rory's self-centered streak. However, I'm just way more interested in the intergenerational tension between Lorelai and her parents, the Chilton plotlines, and the Stars Hollow eccentrics (Kirk my beloved!).

That, and obviously Paris is Rory's soulmate for better or for worse, so all this nonsense is just a waste of time.

To sum up, things I love about the show: it's addictive, for one thing, and it also manages to tell complex stories with multifaceted characters while still feeling very pleasant and easy to watch. Michel, Lane, Sookie, Miss Patty, Taylor, Babette, and above all my darling Kirk are all vastly underrated. Luke has his psychopathic moments, but I can't help relating. Emily and Richard are the worst, but the best at being entertaining so I give them a pass. Paris is all. I'm a big fan of this show overall.

Things I don't love: The Not-Like-Other-Girlsness of Lorelai and Rory, and -- I know I'm going to get stoned for this -- I find the Lorelai/Rory banter pretty goddamn tiresome. Neither of them are as funny as they think they are, and it's another example of how they both share the same Main Character Syndrome (yeah, sure, they are technically the main characters in the Doylist sense, but from a Watsonian standpoint they just steamroll every room they enter).

But my most important takeaway is that we fatphobes in the early '00s weren't willing to accept how gorgeous, cute, and sexy Melissa McCarthy was as Sookie. Those big blue eyes with that red hair? Those dimples? Lucky guy, Jackson.

#gilmore girls

[smokingtiger]

i would like to present another pov for GCF tokyo, not to disapprove yours but just as another unbiased perspective.

i was not a bts stan when i first watched it and i knew close to nothing about the group/members. the video was being discussed in a forum about gay idols and the conversation intrigued me so i decided to check it out, and i 100% was floored by the few last minutes of the video - i don’t know if it was the music, the lyrics (boy, i’m holding on to something) or the deliberate cuts at times - but for lack of better words i felt my heart squeeze, and this might sound cliche but in a way i felt like i related to whatever yearning i perceived in that video.

that was on my initial watch. after trying to make sense of it, i also thought about the fact that i would never, under any circumstances, edit an entire video like this centering around a platonic friend, no matter how much they meant to me. that would just too much. and if a friend did that for me i would also start getting ideas.

all in all, as a casual watcher, that video felt like a love letter to me, and as i was reading the comments i could sense that that feeling was shared with many people. so i think that is worth something, and it shouldn’t be so easily dismissed.

Like I said on my first GCF in Tokyo post, I invited some Jikookers to tell me some of their feelings and opinions. So, I’m quite happy that you took advantage of the offer to present how you interpreted it.

After all, GCF in Tokyo is a piece of media, and media, much like art, is meant to be interpreted. I know that we all moaned and groaned through English class every time our teachers would bemoan about the importance of the color of curtains… but if I’m being serious, usually when someone makes a piece of art, it’s their way of self-expression, whether it be a traditional painting or video.

Although I interpret GCF in Tokyo from a very literal point of view, I will not dismiss the emotional impact of the video. It does feel very intimate, especially from a first-person point of view. It sort of reminds me of that boy-band music video cliché where you’re on a date with the members… personally, I don’t like that kind of stuff, but in GCF in Tokyo, it’s a comfortable closeness. I also think that’s why people appreciate it so much, the warmth and intimacy make for a comforting watch.

Despite our opinions differing, I can see why you saw this video as a declaration of love or some type of intimate letter, because like I said, the way things are shot or framed can leave it up to that type of interpretation. But that's what's so great about art, many different people can go home with a different type of feeling about what they consumed!

I won’t disagree with you or fight you on it, because as I stated previously, how I see it isn’t necessarily 100% the truth, the same way as how you interpret it isn’t either. Media usually has no true answer unless the artist attaches one themselves, and that’s why things are usually up for deep analysis.

Someone can talk about how Link in Majora's Mask is actually dead (based on personal research) or how it's exactly how Nintendo laid it out: He is just randomly thrown into an alternate dimension. Both interpretations can be perceived as correct because Nintendo hasn't truly laid down its own concrete truth about how the game is meant to be consumed!

If you choose to interpret it that way, props to you, I’m happy you were able to find a path to Bangtan because of something that warmed your heart.

Also, this made it into the edits of my initial post so I wasn't sure if many people saw, but I did say: My paragraph with all the italicized yes' was not meant to be dismissive of evidence, but rather to provide an opposing point of view. many of these points are incredibly compelling, but there's always a flipside to a coin, ya know? I don't want to seem as if I'm being too harsh on those who are attempting to make a valid argument!

If any more Jikookers want to tag on, go ahead!

#ask #bts #jimin #jungkook #jikook #kookmin

[last-of-cheese]

So I hear you like to fetishize trans people. Do me a favor and choke on a fat one and die you piece of shit. ;) You're like 30 you should know better. But don't worry, I've already let everyone we're mutual with know this and to steer clear of you, peace.

How can I fetishize trans people when I myself am a trans person. Like how in the actual fuck does that make any sense.

Lets have a huge breakdown as to why it took so fucking long for me to come out as a tranmasc individual. Not that I should have to fucking explain myself to anyone, but just because I'm feeling spicy let's fuckin go.

So for many years before coming out as fully transmasc I identified as genderfluid which still falls under the fucking trans category you dumbass. Anytime you identify as a gender that is not your assigned gender at birth you're considered within the trans category. Yes I tended to use feminine pronouns because I just didn't want to argue with people, but that doesn't really mean I felt comfortable with them. From about 2010/2011-2019 when I finally came out I had a full on gender identity crisis, and while going through therapy with my current therapist she thinks that I probably was most of my life actually.

I was the first AFAB person born to my family name in almost a century (I think it was like 98 years or something like that.) That kind of shit sticks with you when your grandfather parades you around like the family crown jewel because of that shit. Like for a very long time that kind of fact was drilled into my fucking head by my family that that's what I was. That was my status and basically my identity. So when I started feeling very out of my skin and not like I'm supposed to be what everyone has drilled into me it made me feel very much like I was letting the family down. Like I was not allowed to be my true self. I HAD to stay a female because of my status to the family name. I really hate to say it, but now with my grandparents being dead, along with my dad, I feel less of that pressure. Along with age and seeing a lot of my other trans friends just being themselves and truly living the life they want and being happy I figured I deserved that too. I'm not really super close to my dad's side of the family anymore which sucks. I've mentioned I've come out as trans to them, and they're all very supportive of me which is a great relief to me. Both sides of my family have been rather supportive of me actually. My grandparents on my mom's side still misgender me once in a while, but they're catching themselves, and correcting themselves quicker without making a big deal out of it which is great.

As I stated above talking with my current therapist she actually believes I've always known I was trans, but with all the trauma and I guess you could say family guilt it was just pushed to the side. I also grew up in an incredibly small community so I had no fucking idea that was a thing that was possible as a child. I just thought I was a weird fuckin tomboy ass girl growing up. It's not like my therapist is just throwing out theories either. She works very closely with the transgender community. Both youth and adult. And she works closely with the trans center at the University of Minnesota. (Be it referring her patients for hormones/surgeries/further therapy, or the center recommending her as a therapist to their patients.) She's really helped me come a long way and honestly I don't know where I'd be without her.

Out of these past three and a half years of coming out as trans... these past four and a half months have probably been the best of my entire 31 years of life. Wanna know why. I've been on testosterone. I for the first time in my whole life really feel like myself. I actually have the energy and the will to do things. My depression is manageable for the first time in I don't even remember how long. A lot of my other health issues are also more manageable than they have been in a really long time. The only thing being on testosterone hasn't fixed are my seizures, and that's because I don't think hormones can fix a TBI. Yeah I'm a little more irritable right before my next T shot, but that's, once again, something I'm working on with my therapist to find ways to cope through and work on managing.

I did for a period of time in the beginning question myself a lot too. Amongst the whole first AFAB person born to my family name in so long, and basically 90% of my friends circle was within the trans umbrella... there was a short bit of time in that gender identity crisis where I felt like I was just feeling how I felt because I was just wanting to be like all my friends. And trust me that was the very FIRST thing I addressed with my therapist even before I came out. Like I wanted to really know this was me and not just my wanting to be a part of the crowd. I know that can happen sometimes, and if that's what I was going through at the time then I would have accepted it, worked through it, and moved on. However, that is not was this was. I. AM. TRANSGENDER

All in all coming out has been the BEST decision of my life. I cry with joy over every new facial hair I see pop up. Every time my voice cracks I laugh because it sounds hilarious, and I know it means good things are coming. Whoever you are.... I'm sorry you feel this way about me. I hope this makes you see differently, but if not... I really don't care. Because I'm happy with who I am. I'm living my life for me. I don't fetishize the trans community, or trans people for that matter. Besides how the fuck would one do that when their asexual anyways. It just took me a little longer than most to be tired of hiding their real self behind the self they were assigned. I hope you're living you're best life too, and you're able to accept this.

#trans pride #trans #my transition #anon ask #transgender #started of spicy ended of kinda at peace #why are people so salty #its to early for this shit #like okay go off then #i'm sorry it took me so long to come out but you don't get to dictate my life #not everyone comes out at fuckin sixteen my god #and trust me even i questioned myself #it is also another reason why it took me so long to come out #like i felt like i was just doing what all my friends were doing #but i'm not #i am me #i am trans #i'm proud of myself #and everything i've done over the last few years #I can't wait to see what the future brings.

[afilins]

Ultimate Ongoing Rofan Favorites in No Particular Order

((ongoing as in unfinished. some of these are on hiatus etc))

These are titles I've enjoyed from start to finish with no inhibitions and the ones I without fail always find myself looking forward to. People who are into rofan manhwa probably already know all of these, but I still wanted to put them in one place (:

1. A Stepmother's Märchen

What is there even to say anymore. Absolutely incredible story that does so much justice to all its themes and characters and that is drawn PHENOMENALLY. If you somehow still haven't read it PLEASE do. You won't regret it. Personally I think it doesn't get better than Stepmother's Märchen in this genre.

2. I Stan the Prince

This story brings me the most joy. I would say out of all of these I Stan the Prince has the best romance, i.e. dynamic between the two leads. I can't get enough of them and watching their relationship grow so tenderly is wonderful. Catch me giggling and kicking my feet alongside Angela, the protagonist, who by the way is incredibly lovable, it's impossible not to be fond of her. The art is another thing entirely - it's so obvious how loved this story is by how alive and full of endearing little details every single panel is. It just makes me feel warm inside.

3. A Wicked Tale of Cinderella's Stepmom

Best mom award goes to Mildred, my favorite rofan protagonist. She's in her forties, she's a dignified and wise noble lady, she was fully and seriously prepared to kill a man for hurting one of her daughters. I like the male lead but I'm also bitterly jealous of him because that should've been me. This is a story about women being awesome, and not in a superficial way!

4. Catherine’s Key to a Happy Life

I can't fully articulate why, but this series makes me think about Howl's Moving Castle. None of the characters are particularly similar, but something about the atmosphere makes me enchanted in the same way. I think Catherine could be a Ghibli protagonist.

Mysterious and lovely with an intriguing storyline. Chezare is one of the most charming male leads I've seen.

5. I Raised My Fiancé with Money

This one is new, but I can already tell it's most likely going to continue being very good. I don't have too much to say. The art is lovely and so is the very endearing male lead whose journey of overcoming his insecurity and low self-esteem is the center of the story right now. This manhwa's fashion game is on another level - Ilya never fails to look immaculate, and her throwing her seemingly neverending money around never gets old.

6. The Perks of Being an S-Class Heroine

Rofan with action! It can be silly and funny at one moment and thrilling at the other. The next season is looking to be amazing, taking everything that the series' been building up and realising it, and the story is already very fun and engaging. The "tower-regressor-S-class hunter" genre of manhwa has been little by little meshing with rofan lately and I think this is the peak of how well that can be done.

7. Loveless Heroine

Thai manga!!! Now THIS is what I call a historical romance. Loveless Heroine interacts with its setting constantly and is very thoughtful about the way it represents the time period it's set in. There are also some queer themes which I absolutely love! This story feels mature and grounded, and I can't get enough of it.

8. Surviving as a Maid

This series has such a soft, melancholic feeling to it. At times it's empty, a little sordid, but it's also full of beautiful moments that you remember for a long time after reading. There's a lot of longing for many different things and I would say quite a bit of grief. Ash is a very unique and relatable protagonist with her own fears, flaws and dreams, and I like how both big and small her life is. Surviving as a Maid also feels very grounded, but in a different way from Loveless Heroine.

#rofan manhwa #romance manhwa #manhwa #historical romance manhwa #romance comics #rofan manhwa recommendations #manhwa recs #romance manhwa recs #romance manhwa recommendations

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: an Undertale chat box with the name "PAPYRUS", in all caps and Papyrus font, in its center. On its left is a talksprite of Papyrus sweating anxiously, and on its right is a talksprite of Papyrus wearing sunglasses. End I.D.]

The Great Papyrus is the most popular Undertale character among the fans surveyed here. 19.6% of responders chose him as their favorite. That’s a total of 519 fans! (Wowie!!)

Not all Papyrus fans are unified on his characterization, however. The most obvious divide was between fans who call him a “cinnamon roll” or “precious baby,” and those who find these takes infantilizing. A lot of people like the friendliness and optimism of this character, while others recognize this but highlight his maturity too. Fans who worry about his infantilization seem most concerned with how he can be portrayed as naive or dumb by the fandom. A portion of fans specifically mentioned this naivety as a point in his favor, though the marginally more popular take seems to be that he is not naive, regardless of how he first appears. This fandom divide seems to relate to Papyrus’s autistic or ADHD coding. Many fans relate to him as ADHD and autistic themselves.

Fans also related to him in his desire for friends. Many responders think of him as a friend and a comfort character, so at least in one way his wish has been fulfilled.

The phone calls were a major reason that fans said they felt connected to Papyrus. Thanks to these calls, he has the most dialogue of any character in the game. His humor and dialogue were often highlighted as favorite qualities.

While fans may disagree on some aspects of Papyrus’s personality, it is clear that his fans all value his optimism and kindness. His fans do not see his kindness as weakness. Many talked about the complexity of his character and the strength it took for him to show mercy to the player character, even when the player doesn’t show it in return. He believes in himself, and he believes in you! This kindness and trust has inspired his fans to be kinder themselves.

Papyrus fans were also drawn to his mysteriousness. Several responses pointed out that he is a more mysterious character than Sans, who is also often loved for his mystery. As shown in the phone calls, Papyrus will put on fronts depending on who he is around, making it even more difficult for fans to uncover his secrets. Some people in other sections of the survey found this frustrating, but Papyrus fans tend to see it as another point in his favor.

Among the greatest proportion of responses were from fans who couldn’t choose a favorite trait, or who just love everything about Papyrus. While these responses may be less lengthy, they are still as full of love as the essay-length answers. These responses tended to say phrases like “cool dude” or “Papyrus my beloved” or “THE GREAT PAPYRUS.”

(You were overcome by writing about such a handsome skeleton. He understands.)

Highlights: (under the cut)

Honestly Papyrus just feels like joy. Funny, incredibly kind, with a few mysteries/weird quirks about him that are fun to ponder over. I especially love how he often acts proud and self aggrandizing without putting others down, and in fact sometimes uses that to lift his friends up alongside him. You don't see this take on proud characters often.

Papyrus is strong. Strong in body, but also morally strong. He knows what is right, what it means to be merciful and kind, even in the face of danger or death. Some think him naive. And yet, even facing death and seeing the dust of those he knew, he did not falter or turn from his ideals of mercy and change for the better.

BECAUSE HE IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS

His optimism and his overall personality is endearing! You're always having fun with him :D

He's meeting all of my standards.

Papyrus is very under appreciated, and overlooked, and it's very frustrating to me—he's a complex character but people treat him like he's a baby!!! I like him because he's kind of goofy with how he talks and he's just very charming and kind.

He's weirder than Sans, and it wasn't acknowledged for years because he acts oblivious and dumb, even when he's clearly not. Quite frankly, I find it iconic. Also, his entire personality helps a lot.

I'm ND, trans, and projecting!

OK SO he's just a friendly guy!! A dude who likes cooking for his friends!! We love a hype man!! Also smart as hell and I feel like fanon majorly overlooks this. Making good, fun puzzles is HARD and setting up a flamethrower to go off wirelessly is complicated. Like even if that bridge puzzle didn't go off the components were complicated. Love that cool dude!!!!

I heavily relate to Papyrus as a character and consider him my favorite fictional character of all time. He is a very well-written and thought out character with several quirks and layers in his personality. It is headcanoned by some (myself included) that Papyrus may possibly be on the Autism Spectrum due to his nature, his interactions with others, and overall how he displays himself to the world we see.

I could talk about Papyrus forever, and you have made a grave mistake in allowing me to do so. He is a charming, strong spirited, well intentioned, complex character that is often wildly misinterpreted, and I think originally this is why I was drawn to him. He is presented as one thing and in fact acts as one thing (though not the same way as presented by fandom), and in reality when you look closer than you are meant to he is not, in fact, any of these things. It was intriguing to me. Secondly, and rather contradictorily, another thing that drew me to him is that he is very true to himself, when it comes to idiosyncrasies and moral values. It's true that he does not offer much in the way of personal backstory and feelings, but he offers very much indeed in the way of personality. What a guy! He wears silly crop tops and bright colors, he speaks in a manner specific to him that sometimes doesn't make sense, he cares about something or someone and goes whole hog with it -- he's passionate, damn it! I love him and his weirdo, goofy self with all my heart. He cares about other people to a fault, too. He would sacrifice everything to help someone, and his belief in the potential of both others and himself is indomitable. When faced with the responsibility of a kingdom, his friends gone, his brother lying to him, and himself all alone without a reliable support system, he recognized what he was facing and still bucked up and became determined to get through it. When faced with a murderous, over powerful enemy, someone who had killed many of his friends and fellow monsters, someone who had repeatedly been rude and borderline aggressive and showed no signs of stopping, he saw that they were having difficulty and offered to help and to care for them, and didn't regret his decision or change his opinion on what they needed and their potential for change, even when quite literally killed by them a moment after. Even in death, even directly after a betrayal like that, he never stops believing that they can get better, that anyone can be a good person if they want to be. That's important, I think; that concept of giving people the chances they need to grow and to change. I have a tattoo of that moment on my thigh, it's that important to me. I guess I really like Papyrus because even though he is fictional, watching him out there makes it easy to believe in people, in our inherent goodness and desire to love each other. He makes it easy to see that we can change, that no matter what you've done in the past or who you currently are, no one is inherently a bad person, and no one is incapable of learning how to be a good one. It is just a step by step process that we have to take day by day.

[Image Description: A wordcloud shaped like Papyrus. His gloves, boots, and cape are red; his Battle Body is blue, yellow, and white; and his bones are white. Some of the most visible words are: Kind, Love, Good, Cool, Relate, Funny, Friend, Mystery, and Papyrus. These are the words that responders mentioned most in their essays about him. End I.D.]

Read the full list of responses shared with permission by clicking this link! (The document is 25 pages long, so you may want to make a copy to prevent lagging.)

#papyrus #character analysis #undertale #undertale fandom census #results

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I love reading through the Twilight meta on this blog. It's amazing!

I'm not sure if you've already written about this before, but I was wondering if you could give your thoughts on how Edward feels about Jasper (and the other Cullens if you want to write that), and how that differs from what Meyer wanted readers to see?

Don't worry if it takes you a while to respond, I know you must get a lot of asks.

I actually have not.

And oh boy, let’s go there, shall we.

I’ll just say up front that Meyer obviously intends none of this. In her eyes, Edward is not only a gentleman but the best and brightest of the Cullens. What difficulties he has with family members is mostly on them (i.e. Jasper and Rosalie) and he’s certainly not contemptuous of anyone.

Alice

Alice is the one Edward is closest to by far and I’d say the one he comes closest to actually liking (we’ll get into this). He feels a strong sense of kinship with Alice, sees her as the resident fellow Cullen freak and supernatural protector of the family. Alice scans the futures for their protection and Edward... hears people thinking about cats miles away.

Clearly, Edward is just as important as Alice.

Regardless, if Edward has friends in this world then that friend is Alice. He trusts her implicitly with his secrets and, in general, values her opinion. Of course, when she doesn’t fall in line with what he wants (i.e. keeping Bella human) he rebels, rebels, and rebels and will very much go against her wishes.

It’s Edward’s way or the highway.

Despite this she is a trusted ally and confidante for him.

Carlisle

Edward is... weird about Carlisle. I’d say, to him, Carlisle is far more of an ideal than an actual person. Carlisle is what Edward aspires to be, the perfect man, and one he’s terrified of disappointing. Edward has very little in the form of a conscience, what usually stops him from committing any horrific act on any given day (murdering the Biology classroom, sneaking into Bella’s bedroom to devour her, murdering Saint Marcus’ Square in Volterra, murdering the entire Quileute Tribe for Jacob Black blabbering to Bella Swan) is the question “what would Carlisle think?”

Deep down, Edward knows there’s something wrong with him, and he is desperate Carlisle, above all others, never see it.

Carlisle also stands in as a replacement father for Edward, though this is really mostly on Edward. He generally doesn’t go to Carlisle for advice or guidance, only when it suits his interests to do so, and instead gleefully basks in Carlisle and Esme as his Stepford parents.

Beyond this, there is a part of Edward that thinks Carlisle is a naive fool in need of his protection. Carlisle likes to celebrate Christmas, Edward is beyond such petty things and humors him. Edward is a protector of the family, Carlisle is a hopeless pacifist who could never fight a day in his life.

Edward both thinks himself above Carlisle Cullen and hopelessly unworthy of him in the same moment. If you asked him though, Edward would say that Carlisle Cullen is a father to him.

Emmett

Emmett is a loveable fool to Edward. No one to take seriously, but Edward appreciates that he lightens the mood. Though he has no comprehension of why Emmett would choose to be with Rosalie of all people and is very contemptuous not only of their relationship in general but the fact that they actually have sex.

(Edward is very approving of Carlisle and Esme’s relationship, in which it’s strongly implied no sex ever happens. Edward, naturally, doesn’t realize most of the relationships in his family are on the verge of collapse).

Regardless, Emmett’s just one of those easy going people that everyone likes, including Edward. Emmett’s a bit crass and dude bro for Edward, Edward will only agree to wrestle once in a blue moon if ever, but he appreciates the levity the guy brings to the house.

Esme

If Edward is Son to Esme then Esme is Mother to Edward. They’re the perfect pair. Edward appreciates, Esme’s maternal softness, her mother ideal, which is what had him shipping her desperately with Carlisle in the first place. Esme will come and comfort him in times of trial and can be counted on to unconditionally support him and the family (but mostly him). 

Edward adores Esme for that and sees her as the emotional heart of the Cullens (though notably he acknowledges that Carlisle is the one with actual morals, but nevermind that).

Jasper

Edward is extremely contemptuous of Jasper. Extremely. He opens Midnight Sun musing that there’s no point in Jasper even trying to resist blood because he’s such a failure.

To him, Jasper is a waste of space, someone who has no business being a member of the Cullens except as an extension to Alice staying. He appreciates Jasper and Alice’s completely dysfunctional relationship but mostly for what it means for Alice.

Jasper came from a background Edward doesn’t like, struggles with thirst which Edward doesn’t like, and is also far more intimidating than Edward which Edward doesn’t like. Edward has a clear complex about his physical prowess, Jasper aggravates that as this makes him and Emmett the de facto fighters of the Cullens. 

After New Moon, and Jasper nearly ruined everything by eating Bella, his contempt becomes near loathing I imagine. 

Rosalie

The only person in the family that Edward is more contemptuous of than Jasper is Rosalie. Edward loathes Rosalie.

She ruined the nuclear family dynamic he had going on with Carlisle and Esme, he’s horrified and upset that Carlisle would go and turn that shallow bitch Rosalie of all people, never mind her horrific gang rape. Edward, is, in fact, so upset that he clings to this fantasy that Carlisle only turned her to be his bride (yes, this is worthy of a post, but given Edward in every other situation I think it’s highly likely Carlisle had a stray “wouldn’t it be nice” thought one time and Edward jumped on it. Finally, a sane explanation of why Carlisle would ever turn stupid Rosalie)

To him, Rosalie will always be a vapid, self-centered, vain, shrew who is unworthy of him and the family in general. He resents though grudgingly acknowledges her incredible will power, that she has a better record than him and carried a bleeding Emmett miles down a mountain at such a young age.

Even this, he will only acknowledge as “pigheadedness”.

I imagine, by the end of the series, he loathes her even more. He blames her for the Volterra incident, never mind that she was the only one willing to tell him Alice’s message and that the fault’s more on Alice for saying the vision was a certainty before checking. She also protects Bella when she’s pregnant, which yes he ultimately comes around to Renesmee, but she stood in his way and I don’t imagine he’ll forget that any time soon.

Some part of Edward is always ready to lay into Rosalie. When they’re discussing the van, Edward can’t wait to bring up that one time Rosalie murdered her rapists. It’s barely in context and mostly comes across as a desperate attempt to seize the opportunity to point out her heinous flaws.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight reanissance #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #alice cullen #emmett cullen #rosalie hale #jasper whitlock #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

[scary-white]

On the topic of Susan Snell

After Carrie herself, Sue Snell is my favorite character from Stephen King's "Carrie." She is certainly one of the best, the truest of portrayals of the teenage experience. Even beyond that, as she grapples with the consequences of her own actions, as she moves out of her own self-centered phase, and begins to ponder humanity and why people do what they do, her thoughts and actions morph into something more mature. Her realization that the world is so very gray, that there's more than bad and good, that she can be bad, is so very human .

I often tell people that I love Sue so much because she's so relatable it's uncomfortable. As she confronts her own flaws, you confront yours too. Few people would actually go so far as to throw tampons at a girl having her first period, but the fact is that Stephen King does a good job with character motivations. He does a good job as to explaining why decent people do shitty things. And where you might know that you would never participate in something so cruel, you read some of the things Sue thinks about Carrie, and you realize "holy shit, I've thought along the same lines about so-and-so, am I a bad person? "

No. You're probably not. Like Sue, you're just human. And you can be mean, and you can think cruel things. Unlike Sue, you wouldn't actually act on any of that.

And that's why Sue is so interesting, because I'm sure we've all been at a place where we could have made a right decision, or you could have made a wrong decision. And you could have hurt someone. Where you hope, you never make that decision that hurts someone, Sue, a fictional character, has made that bad decision, and she deals with it.

Sue made a really shitty choice at the beginning of the novel, but she spends the rest of the novel making up for it. Sue is a good girl at heart, just so incredibly human.

She's also incredibly self-aware, something you just don't always see in adolescents, or just in people in general.

Some of the best lines in the novel come from Sue's introspection. From Sue's ability to see her own flaws and the flaws of her peers.

"But hardly anyone ever finds out that their actions really, actually, hurt other people! People don't get better, they just get smarter. When you get smarter, you don't stop pulling the wings off of flies, you just think of better reasons for doing it."

I think this line is incredibly important. If you're like me, the first time you read this you might go: Um. Actually, Sue, I wouldn't pull wings off of bugs. But that's not really the point is it. I'm autistic, which is probably why I initially took the line so literally, but the strangeness of it, the icky imagery, it made me stop and think. To really consider the line. And you realize that while it's not always as malicious as picking the wings off of some poor bug for your own amusement, you have, at some point or another, jumped through all sorts of hoops to justify something, rather than just stop picking the fucking wings off of flies.

I've recently adopted the "live and let live," mind set. It was honestly a fucking journey, but it was well worth it. Plenty of people do weird shit all the time, and so long as they're not hurting anyone, it's just so much easier to go with it. To blink once and move on. It is so much easier than jumping through the hoops to make yourself the good guy when you realize what you're thinking about another person is fucking rude.

When I feel my live and let live resolve sliding, when I try to find reasons as to why the weird hobby that isn't personally for me should be shunned, why it's okay that I'm thinking these judgmental things, I remind myself of this quote. I'm not being the morally better person here, I'm just thinking of smarter sounding reasons to rip someone's wings off.

Another line from that always sticks out is this:

"Someone ought to be sorry in a way that counts. In a way that actually means something."

There are a lot of jokes in the community about how Sue pimped out her boyfriend instead of simply apologizing, but I think those kind of jokes-- though I make them myself-- massively undercuts Sue's character while also ignoring a major confrontation that's just happened.

Sue is very self-critical, and she knows damn well that somewhere inside, she's still being selfish even after having gone to detention and "making up" for her mistake. Oh, she was confident when telling off Chris. She knew what they all did was shitty, and she said as much. But Chris knows, and Sue knows, that part of this self-righteous attitude is just her covering her own ass. She went to detention because she thought she deserved it, yes, but she also did not want to miss out on prom. (As a reminder, the deal was go to detention, or miss prom.)

I think it's incredibly telling that she's even able to recognize her own buried selfishness. I think it's admirable that she didn't keep it buried, she saw her hidden colors, and she yanked them up and aired them out. She sat on them, and she reflected.

And while still a bit misguided, she remedied her selfishness by taking away the one thing she wanted. Prom. She gave her spot up to Carrie, gave her the chance to get along, to be part of things. There's now no room to say that she only went to Desjardin's detention to save her prom ticket.

But even still she struggles with her decision. She still isn't sure that she isn't being selfish.

"She was still uncomfortable about her own motives, and afraid to examine them too deeply, lest she discover a jewel of selfishness winking at her from the black velvet of her subconscious."

God, I love this character.

Because I don't know. I don't know either if this is selfishness. When you apologize, it's because it's what's right, but doesn't it appease your own guilt too? Doesn't your guilt eat at you? Doesn't it gnaw at your stomach and shake up your brain? Doesn't the apology stop it all? Here, she is no longer a teenage girl trying to do the right thing, here she is coming into her humanity and realizing that not even her own mind is free from the gray area. Philosophers have debated this shit forever, does altruism truly exist if you get something out of the right thing too? That debate is neither here nor there, but here is where Stephen King's writing shines. He's captured the picture of a conflicted human better than any photographer could.

Well, whatever she felt about it at the time, a couple years later, after the destruction, you can see her growth. You can see that in the end, her decision about prom proved to be unselfish in the end.

"But I am sorry for Carrie. They've forgotten her, you know. They've made her out into some kind of symbol and forgotten that she was a human being as real as you reading this, with hopes and dreams and blah blah blah. Useless to tell you that, I suppose...

...But she was. And she hurt. More than any of us probably know, she hurt. And I'm so sorry, and I hope it was good for her. That prom. Until the terror began, I hope it was good and fine and wonderful and magic."

This excerpt holds even more weight when you remember that just before saying this, Sue also says that. "True sorrow is as rare as true love."

Sue did a really shitty thing, but after the fact, she tries to go through life the same way we all should. By trying our best and apologizing along the way.

One more thing I'd like to discuss before wrapping this all up, is how after everything, she finds Carrie and she sits with her as she dies. She knows what could happen if she confronts Carrie. There's an entire town in flames to prove it. But she follows her anyway, without even really thinking about it. Up until this point, everything she's done in regard to Carrie is done with great hesitance, with a lot of thought. That isn't what happened this time. It's like she knows that she's partly responsible for this, she knows that everyones inaction before the story even began is responsible for this. She knows that her own meddling is responsible for this. And so she does what she should have done from the beginning, and she goes to Carrie and she talks to her. She lets her see the stars one last time before she dies.

And then she runs and she runs, and she screams as she stands in an empty field, and period blood courses down her legs. The story has come full circle, and Sue is irrevocably changed for it all.

There's a coming of age story hidden in this tragedy, hidden with one of the only kids who actually got to grow-up. It lies with Sue.

#carrie #carrie stephen king #carrie the novel #literary analysis #sue snell #character analysis #stephen king #writing #horror #carrie the musical #carrie white #carrie 2002 #carrie 1976 #carrie 2013 #novel specific #long post

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E3; Chapter Three, Holly, Jolly - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘠/𝘯, 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭. 𝘈 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳.

|| 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

Hopper pulls up to the library, thankful to get a spot up front. He steps out of the vehicle and makes his way inside, Powell behind him.

Hopper takes off his hat as he enters the building, making sure to send a big smile to the librarian.

"Hey, Marissa. How you doin'?"

The disapproving look on Marissa's face never left as she spoke.

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here."

"What?"

"You could have at least called, said, 'Marissa! Hey, it's not gonna work out. Sorry, I wasted your time. I'm a dick.'"

Powell was unsure of what to do; he looked from Marissa to Hopper, waiting.

Hopper only stares ahead for a moment, unsure of what to say. Finally, with a subtle smirk, he mutters,

"Yep."

She looks to him, shaking her head expectantly. He seemed at a loss for words again as he shook his head.

"I'm sorry. Uh... Maybe we could go out again next week?" He offers, hoping for the best. She slowly turns her head to Powell and gives him a 'is he for real?' look. In turn, Powell slowly looks over to Hopper awkwardly. Hopper, already knowing he chose his words poorly, visibly cringed, and was eager to change the subject.

"Newspapers? You guys got newspapers around here?"

Marissa had shown them over to the filing cabinet and started pulling out drawers, naming the selections.

"We have the New York Times, the Post, all the big ones. Organized by year and topic. You can find the corresponding microfiche in the reading room." She briefly gestures behind her.

"Okay, we're looking for anything on the Hawkins National Laboratory."

"Well, shouldn't you be looking for that missing kid?"

"Yeah." He states as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We are."

She nods her head, suspicious.

"Uh, so, why don't you start with the Times, and we'll check out the Post."

Marissa scoffs and looks behind her to Powell, unsure if he's serious. She turns back to Hopper and lets out a soft 'hmph!' before strutting away. Powell steps forward and lowers his voice in a questioning tone.

"The librarian?"

Hopper shrugs wildly before diving into the drawers of files.

The two men had gathered a handful of files and set to work in the other room. Each at their own microfiche, reading every column.

Hopper scanned another column that caught his attention.

'ALLEGED EXPERIMENTS, ABUSE' by T. Bridges.

"Terry Ives' legal case against embattled research scientist Dr. Martin Brenner suffered another setback today when the district attorney's office formally refused to press criminal charges against Brenner, his fellow researchers, assistants, or the project's sponsors, citing lack of evidence. Local law enforcement executed a search..."

Next column.

'MKULTRA EXPOSED' by T. Bridges

"The trust of the American people has been shaken to its core as a special inquiry into a covert CIA operation, code-named MK ULTRA, has exposed the extensive details about that which has been haunting the nation for the past decade. Six subjects have come forward..."

This particular column was accompanied by a negative of seven people. Five of which were slightly disheveled, in hospital gowns. A man in a turtleneck and blazer stood obediently in the back. A man in a fancy suit and tie, holding a clipboard stood front and center. A man with whom Hopper guessed to be Brenner.

Next slide.

'DR. MARTIN BRENNER NAMED IN LAWSUIT' by A. Ward - Staff Writer

"Senior researcher Doctor Martin Brenner and seven other staff researchers have been named in a new lawsuit filed today on behalf of former federal research study participant, Terry Ives. Dr. Brenner's attorney in conjunction with the Department of Energy has asked the circuit court to seal the details of the lawsuit until the attorney general's office can determine that no federal..."

Hopper found himself more engrossed and confused as he read.

"...her newborn daughter for scientific research. Following an investigation, the district attorney has already declined to press criminal kidnapping charges against the research facility and staff, citing lack of evidence. Dr. Brenner's attorney called Ms. Ives' allegations baseless and tragic, citing Dr. Brenner's excellent reputation, his twenty recent peer-reviewed scientific papers..."

The next slide was a short column with another accompanying photo. Although the picture was small and blurry, it wasn't hard to see the grief-stricken features on the young woman.

TERRY IVES SUING - 'They took my daughter' by Benjamin Buck

"After the district attorney's office declined to press criminal charges citing lack of evidence, local resident Terry Ives is not giving up her search for justice for herself and her daughter, and this morning filed a lawsuit against research scientist Dr. Martin Brenner and his staff.

Ms. Ives' suit seeks unspecified damages against Dr. Brenner and his facility, alleging physical abuse, sleep deprivation, malnourishment, and multiple allegations of kidnapping; both attempted and successful..."

Hopper sighed, trying his best to swallow all of this new information.

'What the hell has been happening in this damn town?'

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Three. One. Five. The numbers on the strange new bracelet read three one five.

Thankfully, El was able to find her way back outside by the large telephone pole where Mike told her to meet them. But El was still nervous. She just hoped no one had spotted her.

El couldn't find it in her ability to stay still. She couldn't stop pacing and she was subconsciously shaking out her hands, her nerves shot.

'What if someone saw her?'

She eagerly checked the bracelet, muttering aloud to herself.

"Three-one-five. Three-one-five. Three-one-five..." her voice turned soft as her confidence wavered. The only thing that was able to take her attention away from the bracelet was the familiar sound of meowing next to her.

Shocked, she looked over to see a scrawny orange cat staring at her from the other side of the fence. It began to meow again and panic and guilt crashed over her as once again another terrible memory resurfaced.

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

The white cat in the cage before Eleven let out a terrible hiss at her. Her head began to shake as she strained her ability. The combination of the cat growling and hissing and the frantic beeping of the machines was enough to push her even further.

She didn't want to. She never wanted to hurt this poor creature. But she knew that if she didn't, she would have to face the consequences. She would have to go back there. The cat gave out another deep growl and Eleven tried to the best of her ability not to cry. Not to break.

The cat began snarling, and it quickly turned to whimpers of pain. Eleven was freely crying now as she looked between the frightened cat and Papa. She gave one final look at the cat before yanking the wires off her head in defeat.

No. She couldn't.

She wouldn't.

She looked at Papa defeated. She shook her head in defiance, though her sobbing gave away her true feelings. He only stared at her in disapproval.

"No! No!" She struggled and kicked. She fought back with all her might while Papa stood at the end of the hallway. Doing nothing.

"Papa! Papa! Papa! Papa! Papa!" She screamed her throat raw as the men dragged her away, yet as always Papa only watched it happen.

"No!" Her shrieks grew more violent as she neared the room.

She couldn't go back in there.

She couldn't.

The men tossed her inside and began closing the door.

She wouldn't.

Eleven stood to her feet and before they could close the steel door, she threw it open in a fit of rage, her attention quickly shifting to one of the men doing this her. In the very next instant, his back was thrown into the ceramic just behind him. His limp body slipped to the floor, leaving a large hole in the tile.

The second man spared a second to look before turning to her to try and restrain her.

Before he could even step foot in the room, he was dead on the floor, his neck snapped. All with the flick of her head.

Overwhelmed with exhaustion, she collapsed against the wall, her nose and ears bleeding.

Papa appeared. He took one look at the cracked wall, to the collapsed man, and then at Eleven. Yet she couldn't move. She was completely drained, all she could do was stare at him. He slowly stepped towards her, staring at her.

She looked up at him in fear of what would happen next, and what did was not something she could have anticipated. He slowly reached his hands out, cupping her face. Sobs wracked her body, and he stared at her in awe.

"Incredible."

He reached down, hooking an arm under her legs, th arried her like an infant. He carried her out of the room and down the hallway, staring at her sobbing form as if he hadn't been the one to cause it.

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

"El!"

El turned her head to see Mike, Y/n, Lucas and Dustin. They were walking their bikes across the muddy grass in her direction.

Mike looked to her concerned as he, as well as the others, turned their bikes around.

"You okay?"

Relieved to see her friends, she nodded her head.

Mike gave the seat of his bike a few pats.

"Hop on. We only have a few hours."

Hesitantly, she walked forward. But she complied nonetheless and got on Mike's bike, and the five of them peddled off.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

The five us were walking our bikes through the woods. Dustin and Lucas were in the back, while Mike and El were just a few steps in front of me. El was looking around as she walked and suddenly I felt her eyes on me. I suddenly became very self-conscious of my cut.

I got it to stop bleeding eventually, but I don't know how I will ever explain this to Mom. She worries so easily. And, I don't think I have ever had a cut this big but I'll survive. My thoughts are cut short when I become very aware of the fact that El had fallen back next to me and was now looking at me with concern.

"Why did they hurt you?" Her voice came out very soft but was laced with concern.

"Huh?" I asked surprised.

El extended her arm out and pointed to my chin. I looked down, upset with how things went today.

"Oh, that. I uh, well... I was tripped. By this mouth breather, Troy."

Her face scrunched up in confusion.

"'Mouth breather?'"

"Yeah. You know, a dumb person,"

I suddenly grew quiet, and El noticed.

"Y/n, are you okay?"

I paused. "Yeah. Yeah, it'll be ok." I said.

I knew what she meant but I didn't think it was noteworthy to bring up how I was feeling.

"Y/n." I turn to look at her and she is giving me a knowing look. "Friends tell the truth."

I began to fight tears that were stinging my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall.

"I just... I just miss him. Will, I mean. And the things Troy was saying..." I began feeling myself get worked up again at the mere thought of it. "They were awful. Truly awful, and I just... I'm tired. And worried. And I just want to find my friend."

There was suddenly a somber silence over the group that was quickly broken by El's soothing tone.

"Y/n," she said sternly, pulling my eyes to her. There was a soft demand behind her eyes, willing my gaurd down. "I understand."

I looked at her, a grateful smile on my features and my voice came out in a weak whisper.

"Thank you, El."

She gave me a warm smile in return. It very much resembled the one I gave her the first night we met. It was at this moment I knew. I had just found myself a very unique and powerful friendship; one that stood out from my friendship with the party.

El and I have a lot more in common than I thought.

#you'll float queue #stranger things #will byers x reader #reader insert #will byers #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #cosmic #y/n henderson #stranger things x reader #x male reader #x m!reader

[echioceras]

Why do you emphasize needing to think Very Hard about the specific ethnicity and culture and how hard “losing the culture” is for “poc” when… shouldn’t you be doing that for all characters. Like what ethnicity are the “white” characters (why do you list martin as mixed filipino (specific) and white (very unspecific… polish? english? what?)). You’d need to research a Russian character, tho they’re “white.” My dad is a European immigrant to the US and I don’t know how to speak his native language, which hurts, so why are you making it seem like that sort of thing is only an experience “poc” have?? it’s just a bit silly.

hi! thanks for the ask.

1. to address hc-specific concerns: i list martin as mixed filipino and white because that is how i headcanon him. that is how i self-identify, being mixed european to the point where it's tedious to list out every single country of origin. my headcanon for him is similar. many many people today identify as white without getting into specifics.

2. i'm literally not saying that's an experience only poc have. i'm talking about poc with that experience because it's what i feel comfortable calling attention to, and because i see way more of white authors trying to overstep boundaries by writing about poc. i completely understand that that is an experience for white immigrants as well, as someone who has jewish family that assimilated and is trying to regain that culture, but nowhere did i say that it was exclusive to poc. you are choosing to feel victimised by that post because i didn't specifically mention white immigrants. please think on why that is and whether you need to be at the center of a conversation that was initially about poc.

furthermore, while i get that assimilation can be incredibly painful for white immigrants and their families, most european cultures are celebrated in the united states. it's considered perfectly normal for many european foods to exist in public spaces, but when i brought filipino food to school as a kid, i experienced a boatload of racism. there is a privilege that comes with white immigration that does not for nonwhite immigration—when people speak negatively about immigrants, they almost never mean white immigrants. and besides that, poc who are immigrants or closely related to immigrants have to deal with both immigration issues and issues related to how we look, the language types we speak, etc.

which is not to diminish your experience, but for many european kids, it is always going to be different than it is for those of us with nonwhite features and cultures. there is a difference!! and it feels really disingenuous to me to lump those groups in without discerning the two.

3. it seems like you've gone through a lot of my posts and fanfic to make this ask, and i just want to say in the most genuine way possible, none of me saying "hey what if we put thought into writing and drawing poc" was meant to diminish your experience, but to bring attention to what i and many other poc in the fandom have been trying to bring up for months. i would also encourage you to take a breather before sending any more asks, because i know this is a really sensitive topic for a lot of people.

sometimes when i write, it's not going to be about a certain group of people, and i think that's okay. sometimes when i write, it's going to be centered around my own experiences as a marginalised person, and i also think that's okay. will i try and branch out to write the experiences of others? absolutely! that's why i've put as much research as i have into jon, sasha, and tim's ethnicities as i've written them, and into sasha's identity as a transfeminine person. but anon, i don't owe anyone thoughts on white immigration and loss of european cultures if i don't feel like i have anything to say on the topic. and i'm allowed to talk about poc on a post and just our experiences if that's what i feel is important to bring up.

i hope this is something to think about for you, and i hope you're able to see past your initial thoughts on the matter and try to understand where i'm coming from. my intent was never to ignore or negate anyone's experiences, and i'm sorry if you felt that it was. however, i still agree with my post's original wording, and i don't feel the need to include white people in a post that is explicitly about poc's experiences. i would again also suggest that you take a moment to consider why you feel the need to try and stake your claim to this conversation and this debate when your family's immigration experience is likely very different from many of ours. it is okay to talk about your own experiences, but there are conversations and avenues for that, and it feels really harmful to try and edge your way into ours when we already are ignored so much of the time. thanks

#cricket chirps #tma #tma discourse #long post #ask to tag #letterbox

[pascalina]

The brothers' movie

11/07/2015

They don't use the same last name, but they are siblings. Pedro Pascal (40) the Chilean actor who starred in Game of Thrones and now has a starring role in the Netflix series Narcos, uses his mother's surname because it is easier to pronounce in English. 17 years younger, Lucas Balmaceda Pascal (23), also an actor, debuted in Los 80 and today stars in the TVN series Juana Brava. Here, both talk for the first time about their relationship, their love for cinema and their mutual admiration.

José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal was born in Chile, but a few months later he had to go into exile with his parents and his older sister, Javiera, to Denmark. It was the end of 1975. Thanks to the Rockefeller scholarship granted for his father, the doctor José Balmaceda Riera, a year later they moved to the United States: first they lived in San Antonio, Texas. Life there was just beginning and it was not easy.

Seventeen years later, in 1992, Lucas Balmaceda was born in Orange County, California, into the comfort of a family that was financially in its prime. His dad was at the peak of his career: as a fertility specialist and director of one of the University of California's reproductive health centers. But suddenly they moved back to Chile when Lucas was three years old and his brother Nicolas was eight. The two older ones stayed there. Pedro was already studying drama at Orange County High School of the Arts. Then he went to New York to study theater at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

After a couple of small appearances in TV series, in 2014 he took the big leap in his career: he played Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, which made him world famous. Today, he has a starring role in the series Narcos. He is also filming a movie with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe.

Fame came early for Lucas. After leaving Saint George High School in 2010, he studied theater at the Universidad Católica, and he began to shine: in year fourth, he starred in the theater play "La noche obstinada", by choreographer Pablo Rotemberg, and got a role in the successful television series Los 80 and today, in his last year, he is the co-star of Juana Brava, the new TVN nighttime series.

Scene one:

Lucas appears in Pedro's life

P: "I was 17 when Lucas was born. He was a baby when I left to go to university. I remember my first visit back and Lucas, who was not even two years old, was already the owner of the house. I remember those looks, wanting to tell me: 'I don't know who you are, but this is my house, mate.

To this day I have never seen that personality in another child. It was fascinating to see that wit in someone so small. Since he was a kid he had that fierce intelligence... The four siblings, Javiera, the eldest and the queen of the family; Nicolas, the doctor; Lucas and I are like a compact and consistent unit. I can't imagine life without them".

L: "Pedro was studying at the university in New York when I was born. When he went home for vacations to see the family, as I didn't know him, I thought: 'who is this guest, who is this weirdo who kisses my mother? She's mine!'. Back in Chile, every year Pedro came to visit us. It was the most entertaining thing in the world for me. He was much older and he would come with all the coolness, with all the culture of cinema, with horror movies that were not available here. Then we would watch them and play them out, we would do sketches. We would play that Pedro was a murderous monster and we would escape from him. We were each a character. He was very funny, he did voices, he impersonated people. He gets mad when I tell him, but I've always found that he has a Jim Carrey thing about him, he manages to make some impressive faces. When he came on, I couldn't stop watching him, he was too entertaining. We are all big movie buffs thanks to my dad. When I was three years old, he took my brothers and me to see Batman. I remember crying hysterically. I was very young, sensitive, and being in the cinema was like entering to another reality: loud noises, giant screen. I didn't understand anything.

Scene two

Transplanted

P: "What's Chilean about me and what's gringo about me is a very interesting question, because I don't think even at 40 years old I've been able to figure it out. I was raised and educated in the United States and socialized a lot with American pop culture, but Chilean pride has always been unwavering. My parents were exiled for eight years. So our visits to Chile were regular. My whole life I have lived in the United States and my whole life I have visited my relatives in Chile. However, since my siblings were raised in Chile, my connection to the country is much stronger today and it is something I am grateful for. Something that happens to me a lot is that when I say I've been in the U.S. my whole life, they say, "Well, you're a gringo then! And after a conversation in my fluent Spanish with a clear Chilean accent that same person turns around and says: I've been listening to you, you're Chilean!

L: "I am Chilean because I lived and grew up here since I was three years old, but at the same time I have a cultural disconnection: my parents lived 25 years in the United States, my brothers are gringos. My visual culture is super gringo, the TV shows I watched when I was a kid or the movies I watch to this day I understand them from that place: as an American. More than being born in the United States, I feel it's because of my family's background".

SCENE THREE:

The performance

P: "There were good years and bad years (when I started my acting career in the United States). Many years I was a waiter to supplement my income. But from a very young age I was auditioning for professional jobs. In my late twenties my career in the theater was relatively consistent. Then, when opportunities in television arose, I was consolidating and it became much easier to pay my expenses. I think that struggle, going through those situations, empowers you a lot and it's one of the things I'm enormously grateful for. And Game of Thrones was an incredible gift. It's the best role I've ever played and they're the best people I've ever worked with."

L: "It's Pedro's fault that I wanted to be an actor. But when I told him I wanted to study theater it was hard for him, more than anything, because he cares about me and studying theater is hard. You have to be very wise and have a super high self-esteem to take care of yourself. Pedro went through many things. If there is an actor who doesn't have contacts in the United States, it's him. Everything he has achieved is because of his work. That's why when people ask me why I don't go to the U.S., it's a resounding no. Being Pedro Pascal's little brother is not going to get me around the corner; I would have to be Tom Cruise's twin to achieve anything. Even so, Pedro had many failed career starts. In 2011, for example, he was offered a starring role in a series called Wonder Woman and it was eventually canceled. That's why, when Games of Thrones came up, I was like, wow! We were all freaking out, because Games of Thrones is like a worldwide trending topic. All the episodes he was in, we were all watching them together at my house, eating pizza or sushi."

SCENE FOUR:

Mutual lessons

P: "I try not to get too involved in anything Lucas does or how he does it. He has single-handedly created each of his experiences and is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. He loves his work and is continually developing his skills for television and theater, and eventually film. He executes like a real artist and, to be honest, it is more common for me to learn something from him than for him to learn something from me. I mean that very sincerely. Lucas reminds me to work hard and keeps me inspired. When I saw him in Los 80 I was incredibly proud, but not surprised. I was seeing something I had always known. The only advice I've given him is to not be such a workaholic, to take care of himself and to be proud of what he's accomplished and what he still has yet to accomplish. Deep down, I'm always going to be the protective big brother."

L: "Pedro is an object of admiration for me. What he says is law for me. Sometimes I ask him: 'Pedro, did you see that movie?' and he says: 'Yes, I didn't like it'. I tell him: 'Oh, I didn't like it either'. The nice thing about our relationship is that it happens so sporadically, once or twice a year, that the moments when we see each other are very intense. We either fight a lot or we love each other too much, but it's always like a story, like a movie. While he's there and I'm here, we talk a lot on WhatsApp and Facebook".

P: "With Lucas we always keep each other up to date on what movies to watch, what TV shows are good. I bug him all the time asking him about what's going on in his life and I'm always asking him about his perspective on things. Despite being away from each other for a long time, Lucas and I are very close and always have been. I see Lucas at the beginning of an amazing career, with an unwavering curiosity and passion. I love it when he confides in me about things he is enjoying or situations he is dealing with."

L: "I've never seen Pedro in theater, but I've been told he's tremendous. On camera, I find that he has a very intense look. He also has, and in that we are very similar, a very strong visual culture, the fact that we have always liked horror movies. He plays characters that hide something, dark characters. A great strength is that he is very sensual, he knows how to handle himself well from seduction".

P: "Lucas is brave, he's fearless. There's nothing he's not willing to try, he's never going to give up on a challenge, he's never going to leave something halfway, no matter what that means to him. Lucas is unstoppable.

Link interview

#pedro pascal #lux pascal #siblings