#☆Miranda | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sol-consort · 3 months

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Shepard baby shower for baby ryder omg! (Honestly I fucking wish Ryder was Shepards kid. That anon who gave u that ask should've cooked for bioware....that would be awesome and add more to the "be the legend my n7 parent was" when we played as said legend! Also shepard deserves to be happy)

Miranda is that cool big income childless aunt with the best most expensive gifts (cant have kids but she really wants em. Poor miri) probably likes to check up on shepard and ryder a lot. Best aunt ever. (Miranda would be a bit awkward at first, holding a child but I think she'd warm up to it quickly. Maybe even tear up a bit if you didn't look.)

Tali is SO worried. Quarians have it bad as babies they cant leave the bubble. Gifts mutiple baby monitor too for all the vitals. Its very important in this stage to check on them! Quarians find the baby stage to be so stressful! She's ready to check baby monitors for you like a fnaf security guard. You sure you don't want her to hook you up with someone from the fleet who can install a bubble in your home?

Kaidan gifts something sweet and thoughtful. Cute n7 onesie for baby ryder, some diapers too. Diapers are expensive. Gotta make sure you have them ready, babies poop a lot. Maybe brings some of his cooking too. Probably researched too to make sure Garrus and Tali can eat some of his dishes, the sweetheart.

Ashley hauls in an entire crib by herself she and her sister used as kids, and now its passed down to you. Feel honoured, skipper. It's practically a Williams heirloom.

Wrex surprisingly has a soft gift. A cute blanket he and Eve/Bakara worked on. Or maybe all by himself. Nights in tuchanka can be tough, so he figured you would appreciate it even if your choice of planet to live on is much easier (and for weaklings, plssss move to tuchanka instead) Its useful and from the heart. He tries to hint you should name the kid Ryder Shepard Urdnot, since shepard is a honorary krogan anyways.

Liara has cute yellow flower baby pj's too with matching little socks and those little hats. She seems a bit melancholy but her smile is very geniune when she gives them.

Garrus gets one of those big baby bags. Or those baby carrier things for your back/front to carry the baby. Knowing him, probably both. Tactical and hey look, it's got pockets/belt ulities for your guns and thermal clips in case you need to shoot whilst carrying baby or the supplies, theres even room for scopes and attachments in here!... why are you raising your eyebrow like that?... did he get too carried away? (Garrus and Kaidan would be the type of dads to carry their kid anywhere in those things) with how the dlc went in quiet party version, Garrus would probably want to install a insane amount of security, making Tali's paranoid monitoring look normal in comparison. You thought Tali was paranoid? He'll show you. Both him and Shepards got a lot of enemies, and Garrus has lost a lot of good people. This baby gonna stay safe. Probably chills down after some reassuring tough. Maybe he'll tone it down a bit more... just a bit. After all, shepard keeps surviving the craziest things, so little Ryder probably will inherit that.

Grunt gets you a krogan shotgun he modified with ryders name engraved. His battlemaster's child will surely be a force to be reckoned with. Baby ryder will be a strong warrior one day, what do you mean babies cant fight right after they learn to walk? Huh!? How long will it be till he can fight ryder? Well...no matter...he got baby picture books too. Grunt himself is quite fond of reading after all. Maybe till Ryder is strong enough, they can have that in common.

Edi brings the most useful gifts she researched, it's all very sweet as she lists all her sources on child rearing and how to prepare for a child. Joker tries to pretend he didn't play a part in it, but he actually insisted on helping Edi research to get Shepard the best gifts and paid for it. Edi defiantly practiced beforehand how to properly hold a baby for days on end with a doll or a pillow.

Javik seems annoyed how lacking everyone's gifts are. In his cycle, babyshowers were much grander. More honorable, as the empire demanded it. He expected better from all the primitives, especially the asari. He muses how even with his expectations so low, this new cycle keeps dissapointing him. If he holds baby Ryder, he reconsiders finding an airlock the moment the moment the baby uses any bodily functions. So ugly. In his cycle...Well... he'd never actually held a baby before, he was a soldier. Not some caretaker or doctor. When he holds ryder he looks displeased. Its chubby and pink like a unboiled hanar, pathetic and ... yet he can't really stop looking. Ugly little primitive that keeps trying to put its sticky little fingers against his face and laughing... Well, OK... maybe it's best he does the holding, and not one of the other primitives. Not because he wants to, that's defiantly not it. Expect him to scowl harshly the moment anyone else of the crew wants a go at holding baby Ryder.

I love everything about this

Miranda constantly calls her sister to check if she's performing the cool aunt duities correctly since her sister actually had a family. Asking if giving out ten thousand credits as a baby shower gift is too little and if she needs to triple the amount.

Oh my god, Tali playing fnaf with the baby security cameras I can't. Shepard gets a call at 3am. because Tali hacked the baby monitors again to check on your child, and she saw that the blanket is almost falling off and you can't have that!! Go and gover your baby right now Shepard it is an emergency or they might get cold!

Kaidan who remembers how hard food came by in jump zero and makes sure to constantly drop by and help you with the baby food. Be it a fruit mush mix or a formula, he is ready to learn everything there is to make sure the little one is eating well. Saves you a lot of headaches too because you can drop your kid off at Kaidan and know they'll be fed and cared for.

Oh also he'll definitely use his biotics to play with the child and lift them up. He's very gentle and careful, it's endearing how much they giggle. They love the way his hair fizzles up because of his biotics, like touching the static screen of an older tv. He is the best when it comes to babysitting duty, the kid almost sees him as another parent even.

The image of Shepard going to open the door after inviting Ashley to their baby shower and Williams here comes hauling a huge ass crib with her bare hands and tells Shepard to step aside and direct here to where the baby room is.

Ashley builds the entire crib while the party is going on. Just rolling up here sleeves and telling you to send Garrus and Zaeed in here to help hold the flashlight for her while she works. Telling you all these stories about each scratch and mark on the crib and how it was used for all of her sisters. Garrus and Zaeed attempt to boobytrap the crib against intruders while she's not looking but she catches them.

Wrex talking about how Shepard should consider bringing baby Ryder for their rite ceremony on Tuchanka. How the thresher maws are waiting. Grunt volunteers so be their kresh and help baby Ryder like Shepard helped him before. Wrex bringing baby krogan Mordin with him to see Ryder and hinting at how they should be friends.

Liara is one of those people who immediately freeze when they're handed the baby to hold. Baby Ryder is giggling and running their fists over her hair and face while Liara is just staring at them, worried she might accidentally drop them and them remembering oh fuck babies response to facial features she needs to smile remember to smile.

It's the most forced nervous smile of her life. She is so out of her element. The Shadowbroker being reduced to a nervous wreck as she tries her best to act natural around Ryder and praying to the goddess inside thay they don't cry.

Then she finds out Kaidan likes to float them around with his biotics and she hands the baby back to you and goes to scold him about how it's not safe and he shouldn't risk it. How humans aren't like asari and we don't know the effects of biotics on them at this early age.

Garrus brings a toy gun that is actually a functional sniper rifle. He tries to convince you it is a good idea to have this on standby in case anyone tries to come at you while you're playing with your baby. He brings those baby books that teach you colours except it's one about sniper rifles that he handmade himself.

Lowkey suggests signing up Ryder for a turian bootcamp as early as they learn to walk. You know, just to teach them the basic self-defense techniques that any normal toddler needs, like how to check for someone's pulse point to know where to stab an air filled needle and fake a heart attack. Eventually, he gets called to build the crib with Ashley and gets busy hiding knives and emergency X Widow 6500 scopes for sniper rifles in between the wood pieces.

Just in case you misplaced your X Widow 6500 sniper rifle ultimate scope. You the one everyone has? And can't do without? Now you have a backup one! Or twelve.

Anderson being the only normal person and taking Ryrder to normal kids attraction in London. Showing them the big ben and taking them to a kid's playground as he sits with the moms and gushes about Ryder and Shepard and how proud he is of them.

One time Hackett becomes the emergency babysitter because Shepard is called in on a mission and everyone else is too far away. So he wears those baby chest straps and carries Ryder with him everywhere. The high admiral of the navy with a giggling friendly baby strapped to his chest.

Joker would be like "watch me be the kid's favourite" then completely gets ignored by baby Ryder when he comes at them all "hey little buddy"

Baby Ryder instead crawling on the ground and going to EDI. Finding the orange visor on her eyes fun to play with. EDI is definitely smug about it until Legion finally arrives and Ryder can't resist wrestling their way to freedom and crawling to Legion instead because kids love nothing more than unprotected shiny wires they could pop their head against.

Of course, Legion is very careful and never lets them, but it is amusing how hard tiny humans try to get themselves killed. Everyone quietly agrees that Ryder is definitely Shepard's kid at that moment.

Thane would run background checks on Ryder's kindergarten teachers and everyone in the area. He is able to snuff any attempt of a crazy Shepard fan to get in contact with Ryder before Shepard or alliance intel is even aware of it. He quietly guards your kid from the shadows and makes sure no harms befalls them.

During the baby shower, he can't help but get flashbacks to the birth of his Koylat. How adorable his own child was when learning to walk and grab stuff. How he missed most of those moments, how Shepard should treasure this time with Ryder.