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j0kers-light · 3 months

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what if reader was a pop star?...... maybe they meet because j was planning on terrorizing one of her concerts, but maybe j is captivated by her so he scraps his plans that night. and maybe he would start stalking her socials / start showing at any shows or interviews she has? maybe this is ooc but i was kinda imagining a little but of a obsessed/stalker j. but you can write whatever, i'll like it no matter what 😌 and i hope you have a great day/night!

His Lighthouse: Judge the Cover (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Judge the Cover- Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

Hey hi anon!!! I gotta admit, I love a stalker!Joker concept! This is the first out of three stalker asks that I have in the inbox! I didn't see Joker being obsessed with a pop icon so I did change your request around to fit the narrative! I hope you enjoy anon, if not let me know and I'll try again!

Just pretend that I'm not on break.... here's a oneshot! Now I'm seriously off and taking a break (narrator: Chaos is lying) from writing and giving myself some detox me time! Love you all and enjoy the story! Watch someone asks for a part two 🥴🤭🏃🏾‍♀️

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

You took the world by storm overnight. A video of you singing a song you wrote went viral and it subsequently launched your music career. People were amazed at the vocals you possessed, and they couldn’t get enough.

They also fell in love with the whole teenage pop star image you had going on. It had been decades since the industry had a star of your magnitude, so naturally the press went wild. Your sweet almost angelic demeanor played a huge part feeding their appetite.

It was the reason why Joker (at first), despised you. He hated people like you and what you represented.

So naïve, all smiles and sunshine ignoring the cruel reality of the world.

Your PR coverage was over the top and Joker was forced to see you everywhere. From launching your new album, to being the face of a popular makeup brand, the same that carried his favorite lipstick mind you! You even cameoed in various tv commercials and attended award shows to gain publicity.

At this rate you were in the running to win Best New Artist of the Year.

Hearing your name was unavoidable yet oddly enough, Joker had yet to hear your music in its entirety. He couldn’t stand another second of you to bother finding it on his own.

For all intent purposes you made yourself an easy target with the thousands of fans you had attracted. It was almost concerning just how many you accumulated in such a short amount of time. It didn’t matter; the more the merrier.

Joker immediately set his sights on sabotaging your biggest show happening right here in Gotham City.

He tuned in to watch your interview where you promoted your upcoming tour. As always, you were adorned in white, like an angel and smiling wide.

“Yeah! I’m like super excited! Honestly, it really doesn’t matter how old you are. I just want everyone to come out and enjoy themselves in the music, and.. yeah!”

Joker wanted to kill himself after hearing you babble on and on. Did you even answer the interviewer’s question?

In Joker’s eyes, you were just a dumb teen desperately wanting to be famous. From your bimbo demeanor to the crisp white you always wore, you were asking for this to happen. Joker would have fun watching the horror he planned to create, drive you insane.

You waved (with both hands like some idiot) at the camera as the tv reporter wrapped up the segment.

“Well, you heard it here first! Y/n will be kicking off her world tour starting here in Gotham City. Tickets are on sale now!”

They played a snippet of one of your songs as your album cover appeared on screen. Joker missed it when he turned around to address his goons, although he heard the cringe worthy sound that you called music.

It sounded like something retail stores played on repeat. Good thing he never listened to your garbage.

“Is everything ready for our own uh per-form-ance?” Joker asked. He eyed the other three men at the table.

One looked positively bored, while the other two kept themselves busy on their phones.

“Yeah, but are you sure you wanna target a concert? It's not really your style.” Mac mentioned while texting their explosives handler for the goods.

If Joker wanted to blow up a stadium, they needed a big shipment of TNT.

Neo looked up from his own device, “I agree with pretty boy here. S’not much mayhem to cause at a concert, Boss.”

He chuckled hearing Mac’s grumbled ‘F__k you.’ No doubt they would’ve bantered back and forth if Frost didn’t intervene. He hit both men upside their heads before speaking up.

“If J wants to go then we’re going. Mac, have the explosives ready and you,” he pointed at Neo. “Score us some tickets.”

“How the f__k you think I’m getting us four tickets?!” Neo shouted. Couldn’t they just sneak in for free?

Mac cut him off with a wave. “Just smash the ticket manager or something like you normally do. Ooh I want backstage passes!! I heard Y/n’s groupies get perks if you know what I mean.”

The two of them were at it again but Joker paid them little mind. His focus was on perfecting the chaos he would bring to your show.

The time had come to kick off your world tour. You were super excited having completed promo after promo in person and even more online. It was time for your hard work to be recognized.

You wanted each concert to be over the top and nearly identical to your music videos. Your team worked tirelessly to craft the perfect show that would showcase it all.

From small props to special effects, just about anything was at your disposal to make this tour legendary and for a good reason. This was your first album, Judge the Cover, and you had high expectations to exceed.

You weren’t some one hit wonder. You were ready to stamp your mark on the music industry.

You wasted enough time shaking off your pre-show jitters. You nodded at your crew. It was showtime.

The entire stadium was pitch black; it was a miracle everyone found their designated area without injury. Neo pulled through and got Frost, Mac, and Joker perfect advantage seating within the crowd. If everything went according to plan, there would be no need for backstage passes.

The stadium would be reduced to rubble in the next hour.

Joker and his crew communicated through earpieces and waited for the show to begin and ultimately, end in disaster.

Suddenly a lone spotlight cut through the darkness and shined down on you. You were walking in wearing a custom white number that revealed your legs and the sky-high heels that you wore. Joker didn’t understand how you walked so casually in the tall platforms, but you perfected the skill and made it look easy.

You stopped mid stage and the spotlight caught on your diamond stockings, making them sparkle. You were lost in the moment, humming to yourself and pretending that there weren’t thousands of people watching your every move.

The soft hums sounded like an angel on earth and the crazy part, you weren’t even trying to sound good. For all Joker knew, you were just warming up. It didn’t make any sense to him how angelic your voice sounded.

Apparently, the humming meant something because the crowd went wild in anticipation. A backup dancer appeared out of nowhere and offered you a hand-held mirror.

“Thank you!” You said in a dramatic falsetto.

You admired yourself in the mirror, turning it this way and that, as if this was the first time you saw yourself.

Joker however wanted to kill himself. Was his plan worth all the hassle if he had to sit through this crap? He wanted to skip the annoying music part and start murdering people! Was that too much to ask for?

Frost and the others had already blocked the exits; they were just waiting for Joker’s signal. They had to be out of there before J hit the detonator. Finally, you gasped at your reflection and started singing. It was gonna be a long concert just by hearing the intro.

“There’s no sweeter feeling than the one you gave me last night.”

It was classic pop music. Fun and catchy but it didn’t leave a lasting impression on the listener. Nonetheless you continued.

“I’m openly believin’ that you’ll love me just right.” You posed for the crowd at the exact moment all the sound in the stadium ceased.

Joker was confused since the crowd went deathly quiet too. What was going on?

He was even more puzzled when you resumed singing acapella. He could tell something was off here. You sounded completely different.

Now that he thought about it, he’d never heard your music before; just the snippets played from your promo interviews, and it was always this lovey dovey crap that made him turn it off.

He was in for a surprise.

“All is well in love n’ sex but babyyyy I wanna tear apart your flesh!” You screamed out the lyrics and smashed the handheld mirror.

The glass breaking was the cue for heavy drums and guitars to back up your vocals as you performed your opening song with haunting clarity. He was not expecting that. What happened to your catchy pop music? Did he crash the wrong show?

He didn’t take his eyes off you as he spoke into the earpiece, “Uhhh, are we at the errr right Y/n concert?”

Mac was the one who answered. “Yeah? There’s only one Y/n I know of with those sets of pipes.”

Joker was then reminded of your album’s title, Judge the Cover. It all made sense now. Wow he was an idiot.

He was in utter disbelief. He completely misjudged your character.

You weren’t a teen idol for wannabe it girls. You were a fallen angel singing ballads of carnage and depravity. He was taken back by your dark lyrics, but he slowly became utterly obsessed.

You paired your ethereal voice with chilling lyrics all to create an outlet for wayward souls to woo their forlorn lovers with.

Joker wasn’t in shock; he was mesmerized, and he wasn’t alone.

You captivated your audience with each bell ringing note and you used the stage like a personal runway. Your dress billowed behind you like pseudo wings and sold the pure image you carefully crafted. Never judge a book by its cover. Good girls are into dark things too.

Sometime during the performance, a dancer passed you a bejeweled mic and you wielded it like the powerful sword it was.

The white stage lights turned bright red while fog and sparklers erupted in tune to your song selection. It was a complete 180 from your PG intro.

Joker honestly forgot he was here to cause mayhem. You caused enough all on your own.

He tuned out Frost yelling in his ear about the missed signal to watch you crawl on your hands and knees further down the stage. Your voice took on a desperate wail as you reached out to your fans in the front row, “Baby don’t fall for meeeeeeee!”

They screamed along to your song and freaked out at the mere brush of your hand against theirs.

Only your whisper-like voice was heard in the stadium. “I’ll breathe in your love; I’ll cherish it so! I’ll make d__n sure you’ll go out slooooow....” You hushed to the crowd.

Your fans were screaming their hearts out when they saw your lead guitarist emerge from the dense fog. Everyone waited with bated breath for the upcoming guitar solo. The rent was due and they knew Jason would deliver.

Joker was not jealous of the chemistry you had with your guitarist, but when you singled out a fan in the crowd and devoted your attention on him, Joker was seething.

Your mic picked up his heavy breathing with how close you were, and the fan looked ready to pass out when you caressed his cheek.

“You know who I am! You know how this goes, you know you want this, trust me, I know you know you know! Soooo!!! Give in.... give innn... baby pleaseeee. C’mon accept it n’ give in! Give in! Give in!”

Jason played the most sickest guitar solo that Joker ever heard as you sang in the background— your voice literally sounded like a whistle; it was so high.

You were letting the audience’s energy feed your live vocals and it was the perfect blend of sultry and divine. Avid fans fell in love with this live version over the studio’s, it sounded so good!

The haunted ballad faded into a transitional mashup of your songs and you pushed your fan away as if you didn’t make him cum in his pants. His favorite artist serenaded and practically begged him to give into temptation! The poor guy fainted into his friend’s arms, but you were already halfway across the stage to care.

More controlled fireworks went off as you and your dancers moved into position.

“F__k the censorship ban! Gotham City make some noise!!” You said to hype up your fans.

All it took was the first notes of the song to play and everyone went wild. Joker was shocked when you giggled into the mic, “He’s every woman’s man!”

The lights flickered dramatically as a woman moaning played through the speakers. You were heavy on visuals and die-hard fans went insane, knowing what song was queuing up.

Your dancers moved in a circle around you to cover up the quick dress change you were undergoing.

Scenes from your music video played on the big screens to distract the audience. When you emerged, Joker’s eyes widened at your outfit.

Your corset dress was cinched tight, and you looked every bit like a Barbie doll just wrapped up in crime scene tape. How you were able to breathe was a sheer miracle. “Back by popular demand! Use... me.... up!”

A few dancers felt you up as the stage was set ablaze to your most controversial song. It was the first time many in the crowd heard the track after it was banned and taken off the air for its highly inappropriate lyrics.

It didn’t bother Joker; he simply couldn’t look away from you. Screw bombing the arena. He didn’t care that you changed his plans. You were a sweet vixen; a walking contradiction that he needed to understand.

He had to spare you and see what else you could bring to the table.

And so, his obsession began.

A week after your kickoff concert, you were interviewed by a popular radio host. Gone was your dark angel alter-ego. You were back to your bubbly self, sucking on a lollipop.

“Welcome to Metropolis, Y/n! I wanna jump right in. There are reports that there were bombs! Live explosives at your concert the other day in Gotham. Did you know anything about that?”

Joker was already tuned in and listening, but he leaned in further to gauge your reaction. He took up watch every interview you had (past and current) to learn more about you. He was dying to know which version of you was the real one.

He followed all your socials and even bought fan merch while at your concert, much to Frost’s dismay.

They had one job: blowing up the stadium! Not becoming captivated by your performance and sparing the lives inside. And Frost didn’t expect his Boss to follow you across the country on tour either.

Joker said he was checking up on his strongholds in other cities but it was all an excuse to see you perform. He had yet to miss a tour stop.

You brought out something unhealthy in the clown.

Joker found himself changing all of his plans after watching you sing. He needed to seemore of you. Thankfully, you were big on sharing way too much information online.

Joker found out that you were older than he originally thought. You had been singing since you were little, and Judge the Cover was your first professional album, but you had more singles/EPs sprinkled throughout the years that led up to your fame.

He fell in love with your album cover. It was heavily inspired by The Two Cherubs at the bottom of the art piece, Sistine Madonna. Your hands were coated in blood as you stared up into the clouds. It was an ingenious double meaning.

Joker thought you were a visionary, a master in your prime. He had to meet you and pick apart your brain.

Either willingly or by force with fatal consequences.

You finally answered the host’s question with a squeal, “Omg no! That was so not planned! But it’s a bummer really. We were all having fun, blissfully unaware death could’ve taken us any minute. Now I kinda wish they did go off.”

You smiled wide, scaring the interviewer who wisely moved onto the next question.

Joker was enthralled that you liked his botched explosion plot.

You wished that the bombs went off! Just when he thought you couldn’t be more perfect, you go and flatter his work! Now that he knew you possessed a dark mind, he began to ponder other alternatives rather than murdering you.

Maybe he could sabotage your next show for real this time. Or maybe sneak backstage and surprise you in person? He was dying to see you face to face. You had the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen and the kindest eyes.

Joker felt the need to protect you. Like for starters, from this radio show host.

“Some might say your entire album is controversial. After all, most of the songs are heavily censored with more beeps heard than actual music. Does that impact your ability to perform in anyway?” He asked.

You didn’t like the question and for a while, you just stared at the host in silence. He was about to repeat the question when you removed your sucker and sighed.

“Honestly, it doesn’t make any sense to me. Other artists can sing about sex and twerk on stage but when I do it! Fully clothed, mind you, it’s a problem! But whatever. Do you think I should be censored, Zack?”

Your tongue swirled around your cherry sucker and the reporter cleared his throat, watching you intensely.

He tried to reply but your actions were making that feat impossible. To make matters worse, you batted your lashes before you sucked the lollipop back into your mouth. It was a display of innocent seduction.

Joker and the host were hypnotized. “I uh.. ahem. But your lyrics aren’t about se..” Zack uttered.

You cut him off with an eye roll, “Ugh if it’s a problem, I’ll pay any fine sent my way! I won’t let some dumb censorship stop me from performing my passion. Like, my fans have no problem with my lyrics!”

You unintentionally leaned forward to scratch your ankle, but it gave Zack and the audience full access to your cleavage.

“I don’t get how I’m the bad guy. I mean, look at me!” You pouted.

“Oh I’m lookin’…” Zack mumbled. He cleared his throat and focused the rest of the interview promoting your tour with its upcoming show here in Metropolis and your remaining stops.

All in all, it was a successful interview that showcased your sweet (and unpredictable) personality. You were blowing kisses at the camera as the radio played your stark contrasting music.

You were a completely different person than from a few nights ago. Joker was one hundred percent enamored. Your stage presence was a force to be reckoned with and it was locked away behind a sugary sweet demeanor.

You had to be a paradox or at least a rare case of a split personality disorder. He loved every bit of you regardless.

Joker was curious about this censored music of yours and searched for your official website. He had to sign in to confirm his age to access it. He used Neo’s login, and it welcomed J back to the home page. It seemed like everyone was secretly a fan of yours.

Joker clicked on your album’s play now button. He was shocked to see your talents went far beyond just singing.

You were an excellent director with your music videos being visual masterpieces. He got around to the censored content and arched an eyebrow at the lyrics common folk couldn’t seem to appreciate.

Okay... most of it was dark but nothing to freak out over.

Your tastes were alternative, but it wasn’t worth the huge censor advisory and media bans you were subjected to. He should pay a visit to the record label and have a little talk..

Joker didn’t see the issue until halfway through the video you were seen writhing on a bed in pleasure. Now that was unexpected.

Even if it was fake, (it wasn’t) you looked gorgeous on your back. You sang to the camera while an actor proceeded to thrust into you.

‘Ha ha ha! Jokes on you! I want him badly and secretly so do you!’

The lyrics wouldn’t have caught Joker’s attention if not for the fact that the actor had green hair (the same shade as his), and the way you sang “Ha ha ha” was identical to his own laugh.

It couldn’t be a coincidence. Suddenly, Joker’s obsession with you was justified. You had a crush on him.

Interesting.

The rest of the song played on as background noise as Joker’s phone went off. It was a notification from your social media page that he subscribed to.

You made a new post.

‘Blah blah blah legal tape blah! Good news, I can sing Love Thine Villains on tour now!! We already have the choreography somewhat worked out. Any suggestions? Halp!’

Two seconds later, you posted a video. Joker never clicked on a link so fast. He was an addict when it came to you, he had no shame about it.

You were shown at rehearsal with your band mates. Joker smirked at the casual attire you wore. It was still your signature all white, but the cropped graphic tee and yoga pants served you well. However, he noticed that you were rather short without your heels on.

You and some back up dancers were gathered around trying to work out a dance routine for the newly added song.

“I was thinking a step step turn, and.... bend.”

One of your dancers did just that and it allowed for a male dancer to come up behind her, holding tightly onto her hips. Her hands were flat against the floor, and it made quite the suggestive sight.

Another dancer nodded and did the exact same dance routine with her partner, but you weren’t fairing so well. “Ugh! I can’t sing in this position...” You groaned.

Everyone in the room laughed hearing you wheeze into the mic until the camera violently spun towards your lead guitarist, Jason.

“You didn’t have a problem crying out last night, Y/n. Need some help baby?” He came over to offer you a hand.

More laughter was heard when you refused his help and fell. “Shut up Jason!”

Joker’s right eye was twitching by the end of the video. Was it said in a joking manner or were you actually in a romantic relationship with your guitarist?

Joker had no problem killing the guy but then your tour would be ruined, and he didn’t want to upset you. He had to find out before he started killing your band mates left and right.

Within seconds Joker was on social media, hunting for evidence.

You and Jason were inseparable and took photos frequently while on tour, but Joker dug a bit deeper and found a private post of the guitarist sucking faces with some blonde that dated back a few months ago.

In a sea of comments, he found yours. ‘Eww like too much PDA bro.’

Some fans also put Joker’s suspicions to rest with side comments if their own.

‘Y/n is so tired of Jason’s foolery so tiied’

‘Sibling love at its best <;3’

It was the green light for Joker to spare the musician’s life and focus his sights back on you. You were heading to Star City in two weeks and what better time to stop by and say hello than your last stateside concert?

Mac sighed into the comms, “Soooo we’re not blowing up the arena... right? We can enjoy the show?”

The four men were again at your concert only this time not with the intention of sabotaging it. Frost wished to be anywhere but here, yet he used the opportunity to bring his daughter Genesis since she was a huge fan of yours.

They settled in comfortably in the front row.

Mac was totally confused on the night’s agenda and roamed the sections to spend his time. Neo was last seen flirting with one of your dancers near backstage.

And speaking of, The Clown Prince had already snuck through and flooded your dressing room with good luck flowers. J hoped you had time to see them.

There was so much commotion going on backstage, he doubted you had the time. Something was going on that caused the show to be delayed but you couldn’t tell from the lively atmosphere in the crowd.

After a while, the spotlights followed you walking on stage and much to Joker’s delight, you were carrying a large bouquet of roses with you.

The crowd burst into cheers at the sight.

“Nahhhhh but like?” You held up the roses for the arena’s drone camera to capture. “They’re so pretty! I love roses but I think everyone knows that already.. If you can’t already tell, I’m distracting y’all with a lil chitty chat. Yeah. Imma keep it real. We’re having technical issues because Star City’s electrical grid is s__t!”

It didn’t matter that they were waiting for over forty-five minutes. Everyone respected you as a person and your honesty regarding the situation.

You shifted the roses over onto your hip and walked further down the stage.

“Like? We did a final sound test last night but ugh! I dunno if there’s a bad fuse or maybe the Karens who banned my music is out to get me..”

You rolled your eyes, and someone whistled in the crowd.

“Y’all saw the post! They don’t want me to perform this new set! F__k that! We got a fire lineup for y’all once when get straightened out. Gonna spice it up to make up for the wait ya feel me? Jason’s gonna be shirtless.. I’m singing better than everrrrrrr and... ow.”

You yelped and Joker’s heart sank to his stomach at the sound. Were you okay? Did someone hurt you when he wasn’t looking?

Someone close to the stage shouted and got your attention. The bouquet of roses still had thorns on them and it tore through your dress, slashing your stomach.

The stage lights highlighted the rapidly spreading blood being soaked up by your white attire. It looked worse than it really was.

“Oh that’s so metal! My roses cut me!” You laughed and waved off medical that was rushing to your aid.

“I swear whoever left these in my room is mad romantic! That letter? The level of passion? I gotta a secret admirer y’all and he’s so sweet! OOH! I know how we can kill some time!”

Joker was trying to calm his racing heart. You read his letter? You.. you thought he of all people was sweet? Was this a dream?

You called for your band mate to come on stage. “Hey Jason! Get you’re a** out here! I wanna sing something off the dome.”

Nope, this was a nightmare. Joker hated your guitarist with a passion. The guy was too flirtatious with you to be just friends.

Your fans instantly burst into hysterics as your friend emerged, (as promised) shirtless with his guitar. Jason kissed your cheek and spoke into your mic. “Your bleeding babe.”

You scoffed and noticed his chest was oily. “Bruh what is this? Baby oil? Boy if you don’t get yo… just gimme a chord. I wanna sing something while tech gets us back online.”

He flashed you a cocky smirk. “You know like it, angel.” He fiddled with his guitar strings.

Joker hated when he called you angel even though it was your moniker. It was an honorific not something to be said so casually! You were an angel in Joker’s eyes, and you deserved more respect!

You and Jason locked eyes and started nodding at the same time when he strummed out a moody RnB beat. “This good?” Jason asked you.

You nodded, “Yeah, like that.” You hummed along to find a good key. It was the only warning your fans received before an impromptu concert began.

“Hm.. ayyy okay. Roses and thorns hurt the hardest when they’re given unofficially. I wish the lover I have locked away so privily, would just come forward and give what I crave so unabashedly... or unequivocally, baby please. Huh. I wish I had his love.”

You let the word love float throughout the stadium, straight into Joker’s ears. He froze like a statue in the balcony section as Mac and Neo hooped and hollered in his ear.

“Ahh!! She got the hots for ya boss!!”

“D__n, she can sing! Bag her boss! Immediately!”

Frost put an end to their rowdy chatter. “Shut up! She ain’t done.”

By then, your drummer and bassist joined in on the jam session.

Your fans were in awe of the raw talent and waved their lit cell phones in a sea of lights. Who needed all the bells and whistles of a concert when this makeshift tiny desk show was everything and more?

Someone had a hold on you and those unrequited feelings were crawling out of your chest. As luck would have it, your admirer was present and avidly watching this all unfold.

Your bouquet of roses was squeezed tighter to your side, aggravating your wound and more blood seeped into your dress.

You came back on the mic with a guttural groan felt by all.

“Cuz I can’t feel no pain when our lovin’ ain’t front page! Don’tcha see? You mean the world to me, but you remain hidden and tucked away in exclusively. I ain’t right to hide this spark of electricity— so I plead. Please come forward. I promise baby I won’t scorn ya.. I don’t care bout the scars that adorn ya.. but ya gotta come on forward. I swear to do us right after we’re in the light.... but baby I plead.”

Tears were running down your cheek as you lifted the bundle of roses towards the spotlight overhead.

Little did you know, you were locking eyes with Joker hidden in the shadows. His eyes were wide like saucers.

“These roses and thorns hurt the hardest when you don’t conform, to the promises you wrote to me in the dark, yeah, you’ll see. Can I plead? Baby, take these thorns away from me! Baby take the pain you wrought on meeeee and we’ll be..”

Just then, you heard the set manager give the all clear through your earpiece. The show was back on.

“Aight that’s it, that’s it.” You waved off the hype from the crowd.

Jason nodded to the others to wrap up the impromptu beat. With a final solemn note, the song was over.

The crowd lost their minds and rightfully so. How did you do that on the spot?! You came out of your fog, breathless and smiling wide.

“Oh I hope someone was recording, that kinda went hard, lol.” You wiped away your remaining tears and hugged Jason for a job well done—ever mindful of the roses still in your hand.

You took a deep breath and addressed your fans. “Y’all ready to start this concert or what?!”

The lights came on blood red as the special effects finally went off on cue. Your fans screamed back their answer as your dancers flooded the stage and launched right into the proper opening song.

It was as if you didn’t confess to an unknown lover and make a new single on the fly. Your talent was unmatched, yet it wasn’t an act.

It was real emotions being sung tonight. A conversation spoken between two fools secretly in love.

Joker went out on a limb and confessed his feelings through a letter— and you reciprocated that feeling back tenfold.

You, who were cherished and loved by many, accepted Joker and his flaws, all without meeting him. He didn’t deserve an angel like you. If he came forward as your lover, he would only tarnish your success.

Joker would rather admire you from afar than ruin you up close.

He was okay with being your stalker forever in the shadows, but that was unacceptable to you. It didn’t matter that you never met Joker, you felt his presence at every show and wanted his toxic brand of love all for yourself.

The bombs were his morbid way of getting your attention. The anonymous online user who threatened all of your naysayers was his way of protecting you and tonight, the sea of roses (that smelled faintly of gasoline), was his way of showing that he cared.

How could you say no to a man like him? Your secret admirer was a better suitor than all the shallow men in the music industry who only wanted to date you for publicity.

It was lonely being famous; no one warned you about that and Joker’s heartfelt letter and the thousands of roses was the first act of love you received in years.

You didn’t care that he was a stranger. You could overlook him stalking you. It was kinda hot the level of passion that he held for you. Something about this guy drawn you in like a moth to a flame.

You liked playing with fire, and so you took a chance.

You wrapped up your concert with a final statement, “And to my stalker bae! You know where to find me. That is.. if you want me. Goodnight Star City! Your grid is still trash!”

Your security team would have a heart attack fighting back your crazied fans, but Joker was up for the challenge. He studied their pattern and knew how to get around your security.

When you were his, Joker would assign his loyal goons to keep you safe. Joker would protect his angel with his dying breath.

He knew exactly where you would be tonight, and he wanted you badly. Tonight, he would finally come forward and meet his angel.

#thanks anon!#thanks for the ask!#ledger joker x reader #ledger!joker x black!reader #ledger joker #heath joker #joker x y/n #joker x black!reader #popstar!reader #joker x reader #singer!reader #reader insert #black!fem!reader #dark knight joker #romance #cross posted on ao3 #cross posted on wattpad #Stalker!Joker #his lighthouse

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tiredrobin-scooted · 3 years

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ohhh hey nebulous-rain im not gonna @ tag u because. gestures. we are Currently not mutuals bcuz ur icon freaks my bean and this isnt me asking u to change and nor am i complaining, it its jsut an explanation, if u at all noticed or. cared? i hardly remember who im mutuals with so idk how important it was to u. yes im posting this publicly and not sending u a message or an ask . the reason is the aforementioned bean-freaking . thats also why im not @’ing you bcuz i jsut dont wanna see the icon im babymode about it forgive me sexy

#robin rambles #DONT REALLY KNOW WHY I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT #UR JUST KIND OF A CONSTANT IN MY BRAIN I GUESS. UR ONE OF THE FEW MUTUALS I RECOGNIZE AND GO 'HEY I LIKE THAT ONE'#im embarrassing in everything i do #anyway the bean freaking stems from mouthless things umlike #i actually cant talk about it or i get more freaked im pretty sure itd be classified as a phobia but i digress. i jsut. am a baby abt it #whencever ur icon changes ill follow back. so long as ur url also doesnt change #bcuz i Will forget who u are if both happen #if u dont care u are very welcoem to ignore this! if u even see it i mean. this is probably a weird way to approach things #this is probably SUCH a weird way to do things but i cant bring myself to go onto ur blog lol and i felt weird not saying anything at all so #???? idk #blows kisses but theyre slow so u can dodge them if u want. also theyre weak. whack em hard enough and theyll fall apart #edit;#GOD I JUST REALIZED IF U REPLY TO THIS IM GONNA SEE UR ICON ANYWAY #HELP. CRYING INTO MY HANDS. IM SO DUMB AND SO FUNNY #its fine . im jsut dramatic. winks seductively

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gold-gguk · 3 years

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《 Halloween in June 》

summary ↠ It’s been 6 months since you and Taehyung have made it official, and it’s been nothing but sarcastic roast sessions and the occasional binge of Criminal Minds on Netflix, but for the last of those glorious months, a rather strange arrival has made himself known to the closing baristas at your place of work. Which brings you to the newly normalized routine of your closing shifts: the weird guy (who wears demon horns?) is seen stalking the outside of the shop again, Taehyung specifically asks you not to work the shift alone, and you do exactly what you always do...work the shift alone.

genre ↠ angsty angst ooO

member ↠ kim taehyung

warnings ↠ physical violence | stalking

word count ↠ 5.1k

moodboard credit to @jiminspjm

"Don’t close by yourself tonight,Y/N. I mean it.”

The words of your boyfriend, Taehyung, sternly imparted by soft lips against your temple while you’d prepared to leave for work earlier today, are still ringing painfully around between your ears as you directly disobey him. You watch the new barista, whom you’ve just excused from the gruesomely slow shift, gather her belongings, clock out, and disappear into the caramelized evening with a resounding jangle of the door chimes.

Arching away the guilty prickles that slowly inch up your spine at the knowledge of what you’ve just done, you sigh inwardly, pursing your lips as you traipse back behind the bar to finish up the last of the menial cleaning tasks. Taehyung is fully aware of your nasty habit to send home the newer baristas a little early on particularly slow nights like this one which is exactly why he’s been blowing up your phone since you arrived, making calls every hour that you’ve been declining in the name of “busyness”, but really, you know that hearing his voice will only make you feel worse about sending Jess home when he specifically told you not to. If it weren’t so furiously endearing and didn’t make you feel a kind of protected that you’d never let him know you felt, you might think Taehyung was being a little more overbearing than he is.

Despite Taehyung’s wishes, there’s really no point to having two people on the clock when there have only been three customers in the last hour--one of which being the regular that resides in the back corner working on the next great American novel that he’s had half finished for about two years now. You and Jess, even with her distracted habits and scatterbrained nature, got miles ahead on the closing list, leaving you very little to do besides counting the money drawer, cleaning out the espresso ports, and locking up at the end of the night.

You regret these bulleted thoughts when a sharp buzz begins smarting against the glass at the top of the pastry case, your phone screen lighting up to reveal a candid frame of Taehyung’s squinted smile, his name shining like a beacon across the top. Even after half a year of that picture present in your phone, the reminder that the man whose image it bears is the one calling you still sends your nerves blazing--a fact you’ve had to endure Taehyung teasing you about on numerous occasions (though he would admit to the same).

Gripping your phone in your palm to cease the outright noise, you clench your jaw in preparation, letting your thumb hover over the green phone icon so long you have to rush to press down before the call times out.

“Hello?” you breathe into the receiver, the muffled sound of a Seinfeld rerun playing on the mounted TV above the coffee bar.

“Y/N! Hey,” Taehyung’s rasped resonance hurries back, slightly airy as if he’d been holding his breath before you answered. “How are things going? Is everything good there? I haven’t been able to get a hold of you all night.”

You sigh again, running a hand through the haphazardness of your hair as you lean against the pastry case, holding the phone closer to your ear. “I know, I’m sorry. Me and Jess were swamped trying to get ahead on the cleaning while we had time.” There is only a small bit of solace you find knowing it’s more of an omission than a lie.

“Swamped?” he repeats, voice almost unreadable. “Huh, well that’s nice. Every shift I worked last week totaled maybe 10 customers.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, shifting your weight. “Yeah, business isn’t the same in the summer,” you sigh, deftly avoiding the truth of your customer count.

“Quite the bummer,” Taehyung speaks in that way he does when he’s waiting for a laugh. One you can’t help but give if for no other reason than how stupid it was.

“Lame,” you chuckle, finding the feeling of the smile tugging against your lips rejuvenating.

“How’s Jess doing?” Taehyung’s next question sends your grin running back to its hiding place with its tail between its legs. You’d have to tread carefully.

“She’s...” you begin, trying your hardest to sound casual. “Ya know, good.”

Nailed it.

“Good? Hasn’t run the espresso machine without the espresso yet? Dropped any open milk jugs?”

You’re trying to read his tone, but he sounds naive to your “omissions” so far. “Nope, no messes, broken machinery, or third degree burns to speak of yet.”

He huffs idly. “It’s only a matter of time. I’ll make sure to warn her about the christening the espresso machine likes to give newcomers when I work with her next week.”

You manage to quirk a grin as you settle into the conversation. “I’m sure she’d be grateful to hear that from you.” It was no secret that Jess had a certain affinity for Tae and his boyish charm, always dropping soapy dishes and fumbling with change when he would walk into the shop. It was somewhat endearing.

“Hmm,” he hums idly before saying something that shoots an arrow into your stomach. “Why don’t you just give her the phone for a sec, and I’ll tell her now? No time like the present.”

Your muscles tense and eyes close, slowly recognizing the familiar color to his voice. He also dons it when he’s asking if you ate the leftovers that no one else but you and he have access to.

“How’d you know?” you breathe, defeated, lifting a hand to your face.

“You didn’t brag about how much more tip money you’re bringing home with all this ‘business’ you have,” he responds casually, and you can’t tell if you’re in trouble yet or not. “You never miss a chance to be the breadwinner.”

You chuckle lightly, cautiously, breath tense for the moments that follow. “I thought you might be...ya know, mad if I told you I was closing alone.”

“Again,” he corrects. “Closing alone again.”

“Again...” you amend, feeling like a child on the other side of a pointed finger. You might’ve been upset, annoyed, that Taehyung is parenting you if you hadn’t been the instigator, knowing exactly how to avoid his gentle wrath and still choosing to step in its way.

You hear an exasperated sigh seep through the phone, and you can almost see him, eyes closed, locks shaking back and forth, nose bridge pinched between his pointer and thumb. “Y/N,” he breathes. “Are you actively trying to make my hair fall out? Cause it sure feels that way. You can’t see, but I’m holding a few shiny, very luxuriously conditioned locks in my hand right now. They should not be in my hand right now.”

You know he’s scolding you, but his personality washes through the receiver and makes you smile--something you try to hide in your tone lest he turn into more of your father. “I promise your balding is the farthest thing from a priority, Tae.”

“Then why, why, do you insist on blatantly ignoring me every single time?” In the background of the call, you hear the soft click of a door being shut. The jangle of keys.

“Taehyung, please tell me you are not leaving the apartment right now.” You say instead of answering him, your own eyes closing.

“My hair is falling out, and you’re upset that I’m coming to see you? Your priorities really are out of whack.”

You sigh and laugh in tandem, your neck almost hurting as it tries to decide which side to commit to. Annoyed or humored. “Of course I’m not upset that you’re coming to see me. I just wish it wasn’t because you think I can’t handle myself by myself.” You begin idly tracing the frame of the register next to you, twisting the key in the cash drawer back and forth.

Another creak as Taehyung pushes through the front door of your apartment building, the sounds of passing cars whooshing through the background as he begins the trek further downtown. “Y/N, I promise I believe you are fully capable of handling yourself. It’s just with everything that’s been happening there lately...that maniac...” He trails off, breath tight. “Just humor me. I’m protective.”

You breathe slowly before answering with half a mind to roll your eyes at the fact that you almost did want to humor him. The maverick inside you fights lazily with your secret desire to be sheltered. Instead of giving in outright, you glance at the clock and make your escape for the time being with a curt, “I’ve gotta lock up. See you soon.”

You end the call and replace your phone on the counter, moving to inform the great American author in the back that it was closing time. He gathers his things quickly, looking slightly deflated at whatever progress he had or hadn’t made during his time here, and disappears into the blackening night. With an empty store and slight prickle of annoyance rumbling in your stomach, you flip the locks closed on the front door, swiftly turn up the chairs onto the tables, and clean the final espresso port before clocking out.

Taehyung still isn’t here, but you aren’t surprised. Your apartment is a twenty minute walk from the shop and you’ve spent all of ten finishing up the quick close.

You gather your things in your arms and stand by the front window, taking only a moment to decide that you will meet Taehyung halfway home instead of sitting like a duck in the dark and empty space, knowing that your maverick is winning the fight now and you want to leave if for no other reason than to show Taehyung you really could handle yourself by yourself.

You take a step, backing away from the window with pursed lips. It isn’t even the length of an inhale after you turn your back, however, before a loud and raucous slam resounds throughout the shop. You freeze mid-step, shoulders tensing immediately and eyes wide as you slowly shift your gaze behind you, already knowing what you will find when it arrives.

There he is.

Party City devil horns pointed high. Halloween makeup smudged and unnerving across his wild face. Palms planted flat and tense against the thick glass of the window.

No one knows where he came from or why, only that a few weeks ago he made a claim on main street. A demon in human form hellbent on terrorizing the small businesses littering the downtown area in the dead of night. Somehow he was in perfect sync with the closing schedules, choosing the nights when you least expected him to appear without a warning to make himself very known and frighten the living fuck out of the witnesses.

He hasn’t hurt anyone...yet...mostly because everyone so far has been smart enough to stay out of his way. Make it home before he showed up, if you were lucky, or stay in a pair or group which he tended to keep his distance from for whatever reason. Everyone so far except for you. Of course.

Realizing you are still frozen and freaked, you turn your eyes to the basement door that you had been heading for in the first place--a less conspicuous way to exit and the way you had been hoping to take to avoid him altogether. He hasn’t shown up at all the last few closes you’ve done alone, and most of his appearances--besides the first time almost a month ago--you’ve only heard about from coworkers. Maybe that’s why the healthy dose of fear you are supposed to have was nowhere to be found tonight.

It sure as hell is here now. Too little too late.

All of a second has passed since you glanced away, but with a swift look back, your eyes come up empty of all things frightening which somehow frightens you all the more. Your breath quickens. Your saliva dries, sticking as you attempt to swallow without success.

“Ok, Y/N,” you self soothe, the weak sound you hear squeak from you not in the least bit convincing. “No need to freak out. You’re gonna be just fine. Composure. Composure.”

You swallow thickly once more and stand up straight. Maybe he’s gone? Maybe your presence is of no interest to him tonight? You try to assure yourself of these things as you slide to the basement door, glancing over your shoulder every other beat because of course you aren’t convinced. Is the basement the safest way? What if he’s waiting down there? What if that’s what he wants you think so you’ll walk right out the front door instead? Is it better to just stay put? Can he get inside?

Deciding it’s less likely he knows about the back exit and feeling too frazzled to stay, you hurry on. The sweat lacing your palm as it clamps around the brass door handle is thick, sliding somewhat as you turn and tug it open, closing it just as swiftly behind you. In the dimly light stairwell, you feel only slightly consoled.

It’s with haste now that you descend the rickety old wood and stumble across the dank room towards the hidden alley door, grappling with the key in your purse all the while in preparation for your speedy retreat. Taehyung has to be close -- and then a spike of fear because Taehyung is outside with him.

The basement door is opened and then closed, ushering you outside within the same moment, and as you shove the key into the lock, you fumble with your phone in your free hand, your nerves making it doubly hard to unlock it and redial your most recent contact.

“Hey, I’m almost there,” he answers immediately, sounding annoyingly clueless to the danger he so adamantly warned against. You feel almost hypocritical as you interrupt his, “Just another minute or-”

“Tae, turn around, please,” you hiss intensely, your eyes wild around you as you creep down the narrow alleyway, not sure if you should feel protected or trapped yet.

“Turn around? But I’m almost--” He pauses, confused. “Y/N what’s going on? Did you leave? Please tell me you’re still inside.”

“I-I-” you stutter, questioning if you want to explain your reasoning in this current moment. You are almost to the end of the ally and then it would be brightly lit streets and witnesses. Almost there.

“I’ll defend myself later,” you urge, realizing you are whispering. “Just turn around, please. I’ll meet you at the apartment.” You shake your head at yourself, upset for a random moment that you are so affected just by the sight of this human apparition. He hasn’t hurt anyone, you remind yourself.

And then suddenly you are on the ground, your phone scattering a few feet away from you. The muffled electronic questions of Taehyung are thin and blurry in the background. You realize your vision is swimming and lift a hand to your forehead where it comes away red and sticky, shining in your fuzzy view. The asphalt had hit you hard. Confusion quickly gives way to concern and then terror as you roll to your side, head pounding. The first clear thing that enters your vision is the double point of a pair of horns leering over you.

You think you scream, but can’t be sure. The sound melts into the night, as if it never happened, leaving you even more petrified than you thought possible. Voiceless.

You feel so helpless, bleary and bleeding, underneath the shadow of this terror, his face illuminated in the most horrifying of ways as the moonlight stripes over his dark and dreary makeup, lighting up half of his sickeningly joyed smile with flashes of silver fire.

Another silent scream.

He’s standing over your lower half, nothing in his hands to indicate he’d been the one to cause your stumble. Maybe one clumsy moment of fear has fated you to this. No one to blame but yourself.

He leans down, and your heart stops for a moment making breathing impossible. You try to discern if the liquid you feel on your cheek is a stream of thick tears or the blood from your forehead streaking down. Neither bring you any form of comfort or distraction from the hell spawn closing in on you. He speaks no words with the part of his sinister smile, just a ravenous snarl followed by a hyena-like chortle that tells you, “I’m having fun. Are you?”

You feel yourself attempt to move away from him, your palms scratching desperately against the black pavement beneath you, cutting and clawing your skin with a welcome pain that tries to convince you you have a chance. Only you don’t and he is on top of you again, this time reaching out, his grin deepening as his ink stained hands spread around your forearm, tugging hard.

You yelp, audibly this time, gathering just enough breath to plead, “No,” as the grimy feeling of his fingers spreads along your arm like poison. This only seems to please him further as he grips harder, pain igniting beneath his touch.

And in that moment, a moment that feels like eternity in slow motion, you want nothing more than to apologize to Taehyung. To tell him he was right and you’re sorry and you miss him and need him and want to be protected and will tell your maverick to move out for good if it means this second of pure terror will end. You close your eyes, certain now that the liquid on your cheeks is both blood and tears. Please let it end.

And it does.

The pain blooming along your arm subsides. The searing presence of him overtop of you is removed. You can breathe. You can move. You grasp at your chest, sucking in air like you’ve never drank a breath in your life. It’s only after multiple deep gulps of oxygen that the blurry noise in the background races to the forefront, clear and alarming.

“You fucking bastard! You sick fuck, don’t touch her!” Taehyung’s voice echos sharp and furious in your ears, and your eyes fly open to drink in the scene. He’s grappling with the demon, rolling him over as the devil fights with the growls and snarls of a wild animal, biting and gnashing his fangless teeth at Taehyung’s face before his hands are pinned on either side of him. The control only lasts a moment, though, as Tae’s anger gets the best of him and he releases one of his hands to throw a few heavy fisted punches against his target’s jaw.

The horned man’s head thrashes to the side with the force of the impact, and you know you should feel assuaged somewhat by the karma being dealt, but the way the man laughs through the pain puts your nerves on ice. You scrabble away in a moment of clarity and urgency towards your discarded phone, a slim crack racing along the screen. You fumble once more to unlock the device.

“911, what’s your emergency?” A calm voice questions in response to your dial, the juxtaposition almost enraging against the scene you’re helplessly witnessing.

“My boyfriend!” you cry. “He’s--the other man jumped me and--please help, I don’t know how long he can keep him down!”

“Please slow down, ma’am,” the voice urges, only a fraction more concerned than before. You have to remind yourself that it’s their job to stay calm when the other end of their line is anything but. “Where are you now?”

“Alley!” you answer desperately. “The alley behind the shops on main street! Please hurry!”

In front of you, where your eyes are still glued, Taehyung is flung to the side with a zealous convulsion from the demon beneath him. He smacks into the brick wall next to their writhing tussle with an oof before the man is clambering onto him like a beast, his face bruised and bloodied by Taehyung’s fists. Vengeful.

A shriek rips through you and the phone drops to the ground just as the 911 operator is mollifying, “Help is on the--”

“Taehyung!” you wrack, your head empty of anything but the sight of him bracing futilely against the claws the man is using to slash across Taehyung’s forearms and face. He is trying with everything in him to buck the devil from his chest, but he has him pinned good and shows no signs of relenting, practically foaming at the mouth with unfettered hate. And that face...the evil. The rage.

You don’t think. You don’t question your next move. You’re suddenly casting yourself from where you’d been crumpled on the asphalt, a shout that could’ve come from anyone but you tearing through your throat as you launch across the space between you and your attacker. Your hands feel the tattered fabric of the demon’s jacket before your brain catches up to you, nails digging into the flesh beneath it and you yank.

A confused grunt escapes who is now your victim as he topples backwards and away from Taehyung. “Get OFF!” you seethe, furious, terrified, and aflame with adrenaline as you tug with the strength of ten of you and slam the unaware man into the pavement. You give him no moment of respite before you’re the one in control, pinning his arms down with the weight of your knees and laying into him with all you’ve got. Your nails are just as effective as his were against Tae, if not more-so. Blood is slick in the gashes you leave against his cheeks, neck, collarbones, blazing red against his ruined makeup. The facade of the maniac is crumbling beneath you.

You see the wild anger give way to what resembles fear as he slowly realizes the mistake he has made. At least he’s sane enough for that.

Deep moans of anguish and pleading are flowing from him now, still no words, but you don’t need them to know you’re inflicting pain. Well deserved.

“Y/N! Y/N that’s enough!” Taehyung’s voice seeps into your red rage fueled tunnel, a light at the end that you’re not ready to reach. You feel the weight of his arms wrap themselves around your midsection, pulling with a force you can’t combat before you’re unfastened from the devil. He remains grounded. He doesn’t move to run or escape, instead rolling over with another moan as he covers his bleeding face with his hands. One of his horns has detached beside him. In the near distance, you register the sound of sirens.

“You got him, Y/N, you got him,” Tae hushes into your ear, still holding you tight against him. It’s not until he speaks that you realize you are still struggling to free yourself and return to your karmic retribution. “Relax, Y/N, we’re ok. You got him.”

It’s then that you hear yourself crying, your cheeks now completely doused in the sweat and tears of the passed moment. You’re shaking against Tae’s chest, and as he finally sets your feet back on the ground, you crumple in his arms, all the adrenaline rushing out of you quicker than you can adjust to. He catches you deftly, holding you upright as he turns you into him, hiding your face in the joint of his neck and shoulder as he sways back and forth, ushering a calming pattern against your back.

“The cops are here, Y/N,” he whispers, alerting you to the red and blue lights swimming a few yards away and the sound of car doors popping open. Questions shout their way down the alley towards you, but you don’t hear anything but noise. You breathe Taehyung’s scent in for all it’s worth.

“He’s right here, officer!” Tae speaks for you both, calling towards the coming aid. The sound of clattering footsteps rushes past you, and you hear the echoed moans of the man become more desperate as he’s lifted off the ground and cuffed with a comforting click before the horrid sound disappears away down the alley and into the back of a car. It’s not until that car has pulled away and sped off, your nightmare with it, that Taehyung gently pulls back, his hands coming to cup your trembling jaw. He lowers himself to look into your eyes with intense concern, searching you. The red and blue lights of the remaining cop car flash methodically behind him, and you can feel the lingering presence of another officer nearby, waiting to question you, you’re certain.

“You okay?” Tae softens. His thumb brushes your cheek.

“I will be,” you assure him with some semblance of a smile. “You?” With a sense of normalcy returning to you, you bring your own hand to ghost against the scratch marks left in the perfect skin of his face. Taehyung tries not to flinch against the sting. You’re only pacified knowing you did much worse. “Look what he did to you...”

He mirrors your soft smile of reassurance. “I’ll be okay. It beats going bald.”

You’re surprised that you laugh, given the circumstances, but you’re grateful for it. The sound feels like a weight rolling away. You lift your hand further to tousle his very thick and secure locks. Taehyung sighs against your fingers. “Can we go home now?”

____________

“Ow.”

“Oh, sorry,” you smile apologetically as you dab the cotton ball softer against Taehyung’s skin. His eyes are closed, palms resting against your thighs as you both sit criss-cross-apple-sauce on the floor of your apartment bathroom. You’ve been tending to each other’s wounds for the past half hour after arriving home, but with every pat pat pat of rubbing alcohol and Neosporin across marred skin, you’re hit with a wash of guilt that began bubbling in your stomach the moment that cop car drove away.

You clear your throat and the lump in it. “Um, Tae...thanks again for dealing with the police afterwards.” You’ve thanked him five times already, but you can’t seem to satiate the guilty conscience living it up in your gut. “I don’t think I would’ve spoken coherently if I’d tried.”

He doesn’t call you out on the fifth repeat. He just sighs softly and smiles against your gentle cotton touch. “You don’t have to thank me, baby. I’m just glad you’re ok. Seeing you in that alley when I got there...” He trails and his smile tenses before he shakes it off, not wanting to add anymore weight to the night. “Well...it could’ve been a lot worse.” His hand tightens around the flesh of your thigh.

Your careful trail across his face slows to a stop. Taehyung opens his eyes to question you only to find your gaze fixed over a spot on the floor, eyes clouded.

“Y/N...” he whispers, reaching for your face.

“I’m sorry,” you rush, pushing his hand away. He stares at you, confused, hand frozen in midair. “I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.” The lump in your throat won’t be swallowed away this time.

“Y/N, don’t--”

“No, Taehyung, it is,” You urge, your voice tightening as the prickle of heat ignites behind your eyes. “Tell me I’m wrong.” The warmth wells the more you try to contain it behind the brazen tone of your voice. “If I had just fucking listened to you, we wouldn’t be sitting here on the floor wiping blood off of each other’s faces. If I wasn’t so goddamn stubborn, I wouldn’t have had to cut into a lunatic in a middle of an alleyway. Tell me that’s not my fault, Taehyung.” There is no hope of hiding the tears now as they bubble and boil over and down your cheeks, stinging all over again. You’ve had enough crying for a lifetime tonight. “You can’t. You can’t tell me it’s not my fault because every time I look at your face--” You clasp his jaw between shaking hands. “--I know it is.”

You bite your trembling lower lip and let go of him, pressing the heel of your palms against your burning eyes. You want to hide, disappear, get swallowed up in this moment, almost ashamed to be sitting in front of him so freely. You want him to at least get mad at you. You deserve something.

Instead of any of that, though, you feel the warm and soothing trace of Taehyung’s fingers bloom around your wrists, peeling them away with gentle force until your rash red face, swollen with cuts and tears and splotches, is revealed to him. He takes both of your hands into one of his, his free palm coming to wipe away the waterfall streaming across your skin, and you can do nothing but squeeze the warmth of him like any second it’s going to disappear. Maybe that’s exactly what you deserve after what you caused tonight. The thought of it shreds you.

“Y/N,” he calls, and you meet his eyes for the first time, a fresh flow of waterworks exploding when you see the utterly pure sincerity he wears in his gaze. “Listen to me very carefully.” He leans forward, tugging you along until your foreheads rest gently together, his hand trailing to the back of your neck where he holds you secure. It’s still not close enough.

“Was a single decision tonight made with any intention of purposefully putting someone in danger?”

The question gives you pause. You weren’t expecting it. “...No.”

“Then nothing--not a single thing--that happened to either of us was anyone’s fault. Do you hear me? You did nothing wrong.” His voice is like honey in your ears, his soft conviction so mesmerizing, you want to believe him. “Even had I known what would happen...I would’ve done it all over again for you. Never question that.”

You cry softly as you stare at him, utterly speechless as to how you deserved someone so full of kindness and goodwill. You don’t know if you’ll ever figure that one out.

He tips his head forward and attaches his lips to yours in a slow kiss, the feeling of it sending a wave of total calm and reassurance through you. When he pulls away, he pulls you with him until you are cradled against his chest, his legs walled around your form as you rock back and forth on the bathroom floor, surrounded by discarded cotton and open tubes of Neosporin.

“I love you,” you hear yourself whisper against him.

A content sigh from above you precedes lingering lips atop your head. “I love you,” he agrees. “More than you know.”

Through the fading sting of tears and freshly healing wounds, you really do believe him. And no amount of worry-fueled balding or strong-willed stubbornness will change that.

___________

ok, before you say, “devil horned man? really?” which many of you MAY HAVE already done I PROMISE YOU this plot was inspired by very true events at a very real job i had a while back, LEGIT someone like this exists, and i just ran with what I was given, ok thank yew.

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Scarface: Where Tony Montana Went Wrong

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“All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don’t break them for no one,” Tony Montana declares in the 1983 gangster classic, Scarface. Yet Al Pacino’s antihero breaks both in his quest for money, power, and women. And just as he is on the brink of winning the trifecta, he is blown away like so much dust up a nose.

Did he lose because the Cuban mobster didn’t heed the advice of his first crime boss? Or is it because he just couldn’t stand to see his sister and his best friend wearing his-and-her pajamas? In truth, Montana’s fall can probably be traced back to when he learned to speak English by “watching guys like Humphrey Bogart and James Cagney.”

Directed by Brian De Palma, and written by Oliver Stone, Scarface is a remake of Howard Hawks’ vastly influential 1932 mob movie, so Montana’s explosive descent was preordained. Tony Montana continued Pacino’s run of criminal icons, which included Sonny in Dog Day Afternoon and the ultimate crime family head, Michael Corleone in The Godfather films. The actor supplanted Paul Muni’s Tony Carmonte as the recognizably scarred face of the title role. Pacino would go on to play Carlito in Carlito’s Way and Lefty in Donnie Brasco, but while each hoodlum brings a new facet to his rogues gallery, none of his gangsters ever achieve their ultimate desires. They almost all reach dizzying heights, and everyone of them sees the dream slip through their fingers. Still, Montana experiences perhaps the greatest fall of all.

The original 1932 film took place during Prohibition when crime was a viable means of survival. De Palma’s adaptation happens in the Reagan era, a time when lucky opportunists could get their lips around the spigots of cash before it got a chance to trickle down. Tony’s economic theory is much more succinct: “You know what capitalism is? Getting fucked.”

Scarface is a rags-to-riches-to-self-destructive fireball story, and nothing succeeds like excess. Montana’s first crime boss in America, Frank Lopez (Robert Loggia), has weathered the climate change from President Carter to the Gipper, and warns Tony to never “underestimate the other guy’s greed.”

In the original Howard Hughes production, Tony was an immigrant from Italy. In the Cold War era film, Montana is a refugee from Cuba. Their shared first mistake is to believe in the American Dream.

The World Is Yours

These words are flashed in both films and hit each of the two criminal aspirants as hard as the “give me your tired, poor, and hungry” promises carved under the Statue of Liberty. Scarface opens shortly after the Mariel boatlift, the 1980 exodus which followed Cuba’s economic crash. Montana seeks asylum, telling immigration officers he is a political prisoner who doesn’t agree with his country’s politics and owns nothing under communism. He says even American prison is better than his life on the Caribbean island. The officers note his criminal past, the telltale tattoo on his arm, and the scar on his face, which despite their insults was obviously not caused by oral sex.

In exchange for a Green Card, Montana and his friend Manny Ribera (Steven Bauer) assassinate Gen. Emilio Rebenga, who tortured the brother of the crime boss Lopez. Tony settles in sunny Miami. And when he gets out of the kitchen and into the heat of crime, he hits the ground running. “The World Is Yours,” after all. All you have to do is take it, and Montana has both hands out.

Frank warns his protégé, “The guys who last in this business are the guys who fly straight – lowkey, quiet; and the guys who want it all – chicas, champagne, flash – they don’t last.” But Montana is a meteor, bound to burn up in the atmosphere. He gets caught on the orbit of Alejandro Sosa (Paul Shenar), agreeing to supply cocaine from Bolivia independent of the other drug lords. Within a few years, Montana is doing so well, the feds target him for tax evasion.

Tony’s Betrayal of Frank Lopez

Montana’s betrayal of Frank Lopez is crucial to his downfall. Frank is the father figure who initially took a chance on Tony. He let him rise through the ranks, even as he tried to bite off more than he could chew. Frank’s biggest mistake is not making sure his underlings follow his sage advice. He also ignores one of his own commandments. Lopez underestimates Montana’s greed. He trusts Tony to accompany his trusted second-gun Omar Suarez (F. Murray Abraham) to Bolivia to meet with Sosa, and continues to let Tony operate after the druglord hangs Suarez from a helicopter.

The deal Montana makes behind Frank’s back is a major step toward the fall. The vow Tony takes never to betray Sosa ultimately leads to the last splash. Montana breaks his word to both of these men, and they bust his balls as a result. When Tony returns to Miami, Frank is suspicious over Omar’s death and his returning soldier’s independence. As Montana begins to build his own cocaine empire, Frank orders a professional hit.

For gangsters, the only good cop is a bad cop, and it is advisable to grease the wheels which move crime. Mel Bernstein (Harris Yulin) demands his take early in the film at the Babylon Club, which has the perfect cocktail napkins for bribery notes. Bernstein was willing to overlook the murders of Rebenga, “Hector the Toad,” and “that bloodbath at the Sun Ray Hotel.” Tony should have taken him at his word when the cop said he could clean up Tony’s Lopez mess.

Before Tony eliminates Frank, he is hungry. The money and drugs are not a distraction. After he begins to accumulate power, he lets his public profile rise and indulges in conspicuous consumption. Montana keeps a chained-up tiger in front of his compound just to let everyone know how powerful he is. There are real life precedents for this. Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar imported hippos for his private zoo. Brooklyn mobster “Crazy” Joe Gallo kept a pet lion named Cleo in the basement of his headquarters. The scenario was also probably inspired by Miami’s most notorious drug lord, Mario Tabraue, whose predilection for wild cats was featured in the Netflix documentary Tiger King. But the most conspicuous acquisition Montana leveraged cut Frank the deepest.

It’s always a mistake to go after the boss’ girl. James Cagney’s Tommy Powers knew this in The Public Enemy (1931). James Woods’ Maximillian “Max” Bercovicz skirts this in Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in America (1984). Montana sets out to steal Frank’s trophy wife, Elvira Hancock (Michelle Pfeiffer), from the moment he lays eyes on her, though he waits for the height of his reign to claim her. He does it as much to emasculate his former boss as he does it out of desire. It’s a betrayal equal to having Manny whack Frank while he pleads for his life.

The new couple is married by 1983, but with a marriage always on the rock.

Don’t Get High on Your Own Supply

Montana’s downfall is aided, abetted, but most of all mirrored in his descent into addiction. He probably took his first sniff from Elvira’s stash, but even as Montana bemoans, “I got a junkie for a wife,” he doesn’t get wind of his own problem. “Another Quaalude, and she’ll be mine again,” he reasons as the trophy wife climbs off the pedestal and up on a shelf.

Montana is in deep drug denial when Elvira leaves him after he openly complains she can’t have children because she is polluted with the yaya he’s been peddling. He should at least entertain the notion when she openly wonders if he would even be alive to raise their child.

In American Gangster, Denzel Washington’s Frank Lucas knows enough not to dip his nose into the supply. And while Pacino’s slide into the junkie aspects of his character is physically more subtle than Ray Liotta’s bug-eyed Henry Hill in Goodfellas, the results are just as devastating. When Montana was crushing the competition and bagging the Sandman, he had discipline. His mind gets muddled as his drug use spirals out of control. He makes rash decisions, dips into schizoid delusions, and succumbs to white powder paranoia. He can’t see his way through the haze to find alternatives. He walks right into the undercover cop’s money laundering bust.

The drugs dull his instincts. If Tony wasn’t high at the security command center, he would have seen Sosa’s soldiers encroaching his compound over the cameras. He had 10 bodyguards on the property, he could have positioned them defensively. The only thing his ultimate hit man is hiding behind is a pair of killer shades. He never should have been able to sneak behind Montana’s back. Tony also wouldn’t have gotten rid of his most trusted weapon.

Over and Underestimating Little Friends

Tony Montana’s right-hand man would have been the best, first defense against the Sosa attack. What Tony does to Manny Ribera is his worst action. The two are virtually brothers. Their bond goes beyond being partners in crime, it tightened in the “Freedomtown” concentration camp, and solidified in the Miami chainsaw massacre. It is because Manny is Tony’s most trusted soldier that he will never be good enough for Tony’s sister Gina (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio). Tony’s saving grace is he believes he is doing all this to ensure a better life for his sister. Gina is supposed to represent the innocence he sacrificed, but she is also an unattainable sin.Tony’s mother doesn’t try to separate her children merely because her daughter might be swallowed in the criminal life; she is curbing what she sees as Tony’s unnatural urges.

Movies

The Godfather Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone Proves a Little Less is Infinitely More

By Tony Sokol

Movies

Al Capone: 9 Actors Who Played the Original Scarface

By Tony Sokol

Even if Tony doesn’t see Manny as a rival for his sister’s affections, he still sees him through the eyes of a fellow criminal, and a womanizing one at that. Tony is just like his mother, who rejects him. Tony brands his friend, and ultimately seals his fate with it.

The problem is Ribera wasn’t made to be a gangster. He is a loyal and efficient consigliere and soldier for Tony’s crew, but he would have been happier slapping his name on knockoff designer jeans. Besides the bubbling incestuous tension exacerbated by the coke haze, Tony doesn’t want to see his best friend happier than him, and denies Gina a real chance at the happiness he wants for her.

It’s the one thing Tony can’t buy for her. Gina and Manny fully expect Tony to be thrilled by their marriage. They were going to surprise him with the news. Tony’s incestuous protectiveness speeds his downfall. He murders Manny as a punishment. Gina is shot by Sosa’s men. Montana loses the two most important people in his life, and his inability to control his lusts destroy them all.

“Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy”

The biggest contributory factor in Tony’s downfall is his humanity. In The Godfather, Sonny Corleone advises his brother Michael not to take things too personally in business. When Lopez gives Montana the mission of delivering a bundle of cocaine to Columbian dealers, the rising mobster takes things very personally. The deal goes bad when Montana’s friend Angel Fernandez is murdered with a chainsaw in a scene so aurally graphic (watch it again, there’s no violence shown, only heard), it almost got the film an X rating.

It was allowed in the film in the name of education, Stone pointed to a DEA report which detailed the exact scenario. Tony teaches the Colombians a lesson in humanity. Not content with leaving with the cash and the coke, he kills every single gang member who had anything to do with Angel’s death.

Tony also lets his conscience be his guide when he’s working the GPI on a hit. Faced with serious jail time for his tax evasion arrest, he makes a deal with Sosa, who is also under fire. Montana agrees to fly to New York and assassinate a journalist before he can give a speech on Sosa’s organization. A bomb has been planted in the journalist’s car, and Tony is in charge of tailing until the perfect detonation point. But when Tony arrives on the scene to assassinate the journalist, he notices the man’s wife and children are with him. Montana not only breaks his word, the promise to protect his powerful partner, but he murders Sosa’s right hand man, Alberto, rather than kill the children playing in the back seat.

“I Always Tell The Truth. Even When I Lie.”

Tony Montana may have been the ballsiest and most charismatic of his machismo mob, but he wasn’t the brightest. He acknowledges his intellectual shortcomings, “I come from the gutter,” he admits. “I know that. I got no education, but that’s okay. I know the street.” But he doesn’t read signs. He can’t tell a freeway from a dead end. Frank Lopez may be a blowhard, but his words of wisdom could have been carved in the cement.

All the concrete Tony brags about has gone to his head, making his skull thicker than Pacino’s accent. Montana is brash and unbending, narcissistically adherent to only his own advice, and his own worst counsel. His anger blinds him, the battery is running low on his foresight, and he’s so flashy his enemies can see him coming from miles away. And he can’t see them when they’re standing close enough to breathe on the back of his neck.

Final Massacre

Of course the most obvious reason Tony ends up the way does is because he fights off an army by himself. He’s got quite an arsenal, and the coke probably makes it seem like a good idea at the time, but the decision to stay and fight is vastly miscalculated. Even if Tony had survived the last assassination attempt, Sosa’s men would always be hunting for him. It would have been a short hunt. Tony Montana would have died of a heart attack from all that coke he snorted.

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spidermilkshake · 4 years

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“Link’s Bad Horsemanship”

XD This is half critique of the development of... er, pretty much all of the Legend of Zelda series featuring horse-riding, and half a goof. It's very very apparent that people working in Nintendo on various horse-riding animations, the riding game mechanics, and how the horses get used or behave in-game in general... are either blatantly bad equestrians, or not equestrians at all, and are getting their visual references and information from such sources as cheesy old Western movies (which featured outright horse abuse very often, usually in ways that were and remain kind of normalized) and the jockey club, which makes money off of callously abusive horse-keeping practices. So it's either ignorance out of thinking they're doing it right, or ignorance outright! And, since the majority of people have never worked with horses at all or know their physical limitations or history of abusive practices--generally people playing the games will not at all notice how hilariously bad some of the horsemanship turns out in the games. XD

But, having researched horses and proper horsemanship, and knowing what constitutes animal abuse... WOW does this series have a lot of Fridge Horror for an equestrian. By far, Majora's Mask is the most outright abusive in its treatment of horse, and probably completely by accident, simply by having Link ride Epona when she's a developing filly, which is absolutely going to either ruin her spine and halve her lifespan, or cause her to have fucked-up knees and much more easily slip and break her legs. You never ride a horse under a minimum of 2.5 years old for these reasons, and never ride a horse if you weight any more than 20% of their body weight (or under 20% including the combined weight of your saddle and tack). MM, when I was researching how the horsemanship is shown in each game, was the only game that made me reflexively gasp and cringe at how bad it was! I mean, I know MM is supposed to be darker, but GEEZ, maybe accidentally including the fact that Link is slowly and unknowingly killing his horse isn't the way, guys. <_<; Breath of the Wild actually comes in second place, purely for it's accidentally horrible "horse-taming" mechanic (which is definitely NOT how you actually tame a wild horse, it's how you intimidate and exhaust one into submission and give it mental trauma and also possibly get yourself killed). Also the fact that, because of increased graphical fidelity, there is now no question that Hyrule ubiquitously uses the nastiness that is the bit in riding, which are tools designed specifically to cause at least discomfort inside a horse's mouth to make them obey (and most types also coerce the horse through pain, and when too much pressure is applied have a very high risk of actually damaging a horse's teeth and gums, and even panicking a horse out of pain and fear and causing them to throw you, trip, or even over-rear and flip themselves over). Thankfully, they have done away with the idea that you smack a horse to get it to go faster for the most part minus the implication of a crop being used in the icons measuring the horse's stamina (though there's still the stupid whipping the reins thing in Link's animation, which is still a tooth-dryer when you realize the pressure of those reins are connected to the metal stuck in his steed's mouth... that's got to be awful for the horse when that leather slaps around wildly). Also, a more minor thing, most of the decorative tack for the horses, especially Epona's fancy breastpiece thing, are, uh, apparently not padded and have thin straps and big metal buckles up on her sensitive hide... That's going to chafe in about ten minutes of riding. There is a reason girth straps and saddles have saddlepads and girth padding secured under them! Twilight Princess is eh... it's not great. It's the only game besides BoTW with bits, and the only one which shows Ganondorf doing bad horsemanship things (which appears to have been done in total ignorance for the purposes of making the scene look "cool", which always turns out making the scene hilariously bad for anyone watching who knows horse body language). Most of the bad parts of TP are more implications than outright confirmed mechanics or just obvious. There's the implication that spurs are used on the horses in the speeding-up mechanic (spurs are yet another rather questionable equestrian tool. They are sharp things attacked to the rider's heels which jab the horse's sensitive flank. They absolutely have the potential to wound horses, even when used "lightly". Some types of spurs look damn psychotic, but they're all pretty harsh things to push or hit an animal with). There's still the issue of lacking padding under most of the tack. There's also the very alarming implication that Link overworks or mistreats Epona by pushing her hard to do dangerous things, as shown in dialogue with Ilia if you show up and Epona has taken any damage. It's... iffy, but it's not as bad and the aforementioned two. Overall, Ocarina of Time actually has the best horsemanship. It's still not perfect--and it's mostly down to how Link is shown interacting with Epona when he's grown. XD Oops. Now, the good point of equestrianism shown in OoT is that Epona and Link (and Malon's) relationship is shown to be founded on trust. It's a little gamified due to the whole "magic song" thing, but the fact that the horse wants to be near you because the horse chose to and likes you is so significant when all the other games either show you already having a captive Epona or having you physically force horses to tolerate you before any actual "bonding" (i.e. lovebombing with treats) happens (ick). Also, this is the game which shows Link doing a bunch of things wrong but yet shows Ganondorf being actually very skilled and not forceful when it comes to horsemanship. XD Another oops. You wouldn't believe how many minutes were wasted rewinding that cutscene to confirm that yes, Ganon is managing his reins properly with soft hands, yes, Ganon is able to compensate for surprise rearing without harming his horse and helping rebalance the horse instead, yes, Ganon is using extensive padding and protective gear for his horse and riding expertly enough that he's preserving the horse's back health... and Link is not. XD It's like... in trying to make him all tall and scary, and Link all plucky and active, they accidentally made the "bad guy" do big good and the "good guy" do big doofus. >u<; And now, there is horse abuse present in-universe, but it's presented as such. I won't have any issue with that because it's on the part of Ingo, and it's supposed to make you know it's bad. Ingo uses a crop to whip the horse he rides in races, which, I mean, I shouldn't have to tell anyone that taking a stick with a leather strap on it and whacking a captive animal with it to make it do something is baaaaad. My only problem of OoT is regarding hitting horses being normalized, and this lies with Link.. because for some dumb reason, whoever animated Link riding Epona decided that whenever he makes Epona speed up, he should look like he's open-hand slapping Epona on the haunch, or at least threatening to hit her. This is equally as bad as what Ingo's doing. You don't hit horses, and you don't threaten to hit them to make them too scared to defy you. They feel pain (horses actually have thinner skin and about three to four times the nerve endings in the skin as humans!). It's wrong, and from a pragmatic perspective you don't do it anyway. Eventually even the calmest, most timid horse will reach a breaking point, and enough abuse will cause them to either flip you off and run you over from fear, or just outright bite and kick the shit out of you in self-defense. It's big no. So here's Ganondorf, apparently Best Equestrian in the Series, just... giving Link the gears about his horsemanship skills. Throwing all the shade in the land of Hyrule. XD Poor Link--he's mostly just ignorant and gotten used to the wrong things (and who knows, maybe he did just ape on Ingo and learn wrongly) and he's just... havin' a hard time relearning how to ride. At least Epona likes him enough that she'll let him start to know better. At least in OoT, he hasn't got as far to go!

#zelda critical #legend of zelda #ocarina of time #link #epona #ganondorf #horsemanship #bad horsemanship #bad equestrian #oops #nintendo did poor research or no research #let's rag on it #comic #digital media #poor link come on you can do better #long post #game critique #tw animal abuse mention

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littlewitty · 4 years

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Stop Walking Away Part 2

Ship: Theo x MC

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Sex

---------------------------------------------

He quickly whisked me away to the mansion, trying desperately to escape Arthur's taunts. Theo kept a firm grip on my arm as he dragged me away to the closest carriage and called out to the man to take us to the mansion. Whether it was due to the alcohol in my system or not, my excitement drummed inside of me. I could still feel the sensations of his lips on mine. The feeling of his harsh, firm grip on my figure almost send waves of satisfaction throughout me like a tsunami. That's what someone who was satisfied would have said, but I wasn't. I wanted to be greedy, to take control, and to show him no mercy. I wanted to see him blush fields of roses as I tugged at his clothes and made his squirm.

"Oi, hondje,........ why are you looking like that?" An insecure voice asked. As my eyes made the journey from the scenery outside of trees, closed flowers, and stars to Theo's hesitant eyes, everything I had even thought of just vanished into the night's air.

" Nothing Theo, I'm just enjoying a few memories is all." Maybe I shouldn't have played with him, but could anyone blame me? While I smirked at my own words, Theo visibly gulped.

"Stop now! Otherwise, you're going to be as much 'company' as that four-eyed perv." This was a side to him I didn't think I'd ever see. Yet again, he continued to stare out the window, avoiding my gaze.

"What's the matter? Do you regret it?" Ignoring me, he continued to stare into the void. "Theo?" I inquired sternly. I needed an answer from him.

"...... no. I don't. I don't do things and then regret them." A small voice replied. Something, whatever, was bothering him.

"Then why are you bl-"

"Do you?" huh? " Do you regret it?" Confusion must have painted my face as he stretched into an explanation. " If you turn to me now and say you regret it, then I won't be tempted to do ........ something more."

"Something more, huh? hehe, what could that possibly be?" Overexaggurating thoroughly to coax out any of that embarrassment he had tucked away, I cheekily replied. That response only gained a roll of the eyes and a sigh.

"And to answer your question, no. I don't regret anything actually and wouldn't mind if things did progress."

Abruptly, two arms enveloped my waist, hauling me towards him. Of course, I happily complied, sliding along the seat and next to him.

"Look at me," he ordered. Ever so slowly, I turn my head to face him. As soon as I was where he wanted me, his lips smashed onto mine. That acid taste of Whiskey returned. Painfully lightly, my hand started to brush his knee and gradually skim up his thigh.

" mmmmhhh, shtop," he mumbled against me before he hastily yanked back. " We're here." The carriage came to a halt and stomping sounds of the footman gradually reached us.

"Let's go!" smacking the carriage door open and almost whacking the footman, I was drawn out and led to the mansion door. We both ran into the mansion with one destination in mind, anticipation swimming around us.

"Welcome back Master T-"

"Yeah, yeah, bye," Theo remarked as we raced to his room. Was I guilty for Seb? Nope, not at all. My mind was on what was going to happen between us next.

Ultimately, we reached his room, and instantly I was pushed against the door. His tongue intruded my mouth as his hands ran up my thigh under my skirt. I could feel his hardened bulge against my thigh as he continued to furiously kiss me.

"Mmmmm, let's get down to the matter at hand, yeah?" I giggled as I pushed him down onto the bed. "You're a really good kisser, you sure you don't do this often Theo?" Oh yes, I went there. My hands found their way to his shirt as I started to unbutton it whilst grinding down to where he needed me.

"Woah, Woah, Woah. Hold on hondje," hummed Theo harshly "shhh."

"what? I thought that this was going to be okay." Had I taken the wrong idea? Did he not want to do this? Despite all my questions, I obliged.

Wait.

Oh no.

Harking intently, I could hear ..... humming. That humming was coming from next door aka Vincent's room.

"Oi, if we are doing this, we are going to be quiet. No noise. Okay? Those are my requirements," he demanded. I tried not to judge but I mean, Vincent was a man, not a child. "He can't hear us!" he sternly interjected.

"Theo, he's a man..."

"Hondje, obey your master." Fine. If he wants to be quiet, I wasn't going to make it easy. My hands dragged down his now bare chest, making it to his belt buckle and I started to gently knead him in my hands. "Don't tease me MC, do it already." Heh, I had him exactly where I wanted him. Undoing his belt, I tried my best to pull his trousers and briefs down to his mid-thighs.

Gently wrapping my hand around him, I guided the tip to my mouth. Nonchalantly licking it up and down until he starting bucking into me. I could hear the faint gasps and moans not nearly half as loud as what I wanted them to be. I didn't want to give it to him instantly, I wanted to tease him until he couldn't bear it anymore.

"MC, no, don't tease your Master hondje knabbeltje!" he stammered before acknowledging defeat, "I really need this right now." The last part was barely a whisper but that didn't stop me. Quickly climbing up over him, I hovered over his hard member gently guiding it to me, but never fully entering. A groan ripped from him as he grabbed my hips and hauled me down onto him.

"Oh, Theo!" I moaned uncontrollably as he started to buck into me even more. All this time, he had kept a straight face and never let so much as a peek escape him, that was all about to change.

A sudden burst of confidence exploded in me as I grabbed him by the wrists and pinned his arms to above his head. " I never would have guessed you would be a sub, Theo. Do you also like being completely at mercy too?"

"Shut up, hondje! I'm just tired! Besides are you really that much of a klootzak as to kink-shame someone?" He stated, attempting to defend himself. Languidly, I rocked my hips back and forth, much to his approval. My pace gradually increases as I kept getting faster and pushing myself onto him deeper. I honestly couldn't tell who was making the most noise as after a while, we weren't holding anything back.

" Ahhhhh, Hondje! I'm gonna uuuuuuhhhh!" He cried out, nearing the point of no return.

"THEO! ARE YOU OKAY- AAHHHH!" Vincent screeched, shoving the door.

"BROER," Theo pushed me off the bed as we landed on the floor, away from Vincent's eyes. "PLEASE GET OUT!"

The door slammed shut as we both let out a sigh. I met his eyes. They were filled with shame, guilt, and embarrassment as all the lust washed away. His face was right in front of mine, nose to nose. Hair dangled down and tickled my forehead as I admired how he glowed in the moonlight. Two sharp knocks brought us both back into the hell-full reality.

"..... I ..... Uh ...... I'm really sorry Theo! I thought you were hurt!" A muffled voice guiltily sounded.

I didn't even need to ask Theo how he felt. I knew that he wouldn't face Vincent at all. As soon as we heard Vincent's door open with that iconic squeak, only then did he even act. Bolting up, he ran to the door and locked it shut, preventing any more embarrassing consequences. Then he turned to me, eyes full of a kind of anger.

"You didn't lock the door?"

Silence.

"MC my brother, my OLDER BROTHER just walked in on us!" He hissed. His eyed burned. I must admit, although I should have been taking him seriously, he was standing next to the door, completely naked. Of course, my eyes were going to wonder, I mean, I'm only human.

"Theo, why are you angry at me? It's something we both should have thought about, it wasn't one person's fault!" I couldn't tell if it was annoyance or anger but me having the blame seemed to scorch my mind. How dare he point this all onto me?

"OI, DON'T TALK TO YOUR MASTER LIKE THAT! JUST........ go to sleep." he grumbled as he rubbed his face attempting to clean the sin off his skin.

"where?"

"Here, MC, just," he hesitated "sleep here."

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #otome #ikevam #cybird #ikemen vampire theo #ikevamp theo #ikevam theo #ikevamp smut #ikevamp fanfiction #ikemen vampire fanfic

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sherrybaby14 · 5 years

Text

Clicking

Summary: Office AU, where Steve is your IT guy and he’s got his eyes on you.

Request: IT ex-boyfriend Steve completely obsessed with you

Kinktober prompts: (Did day 1) Spanking

Warnings: Non-con (please do not read if this offends you) (also, turns into dubcon), spanking, smut, light degradation (very minor name-calling/teasing).

Words: 2100

Could your day get any worse? You clicked at the mouse multiple times. Nothing. Computers were never your strong suit. You pushed away from your desk and walked out of your office.

Lunch break. Nobody was here. That meant one thing. Putting in a ticket with the Information Technology department.

“Ughhh…” You groaned at the thought. Those people were trolls. Always acting superior.

You pulled out your cell phone. Maybe you could work the rest of the day on the smaller gadget. It would be better than dealing with them. There was no way that was an option, so like ripping off a Band-Aid you went to your company’s website and wrote a quick request for IT help.

When you put the phone down you walked back into your office and plopped down at your chair. Your company was huge, there was no way they would send him. Still, you cringed hoping anyone but your ex showed up.

“Knock, knock.” The voice made the pit in your stomach drop.

“Steve.” You stood up. “How have you been?”

“Oh, you mean since you ghosted on me?” He shut the door behind him and walked around to your computer as you pushed away from the desk.

“Ghosted? We went on three dates; I didn’t think that merited a break-up.” You knew he deserved some explanation instead of zero response. “We weren’t clicking.”

“That’s your opinion.” Steve picked up your mouse and popped out the back.

He was handsome maybe you were too hard on him. He did make you laugh a few times. Steve fiddled with the thing and started moving the cursor around the screen, clicking on a few icons to test them.

“Trouble double-clicking your mouse. Why am I not surprised?” He turned around with a big grin on his face. “All you needed was a new battery dummy.

That was it. The reason you didn’t call again. Like most IT guys he had that ‘I’m smarter than everyone’s outlook. Plus you didn’t appreciate the innuendo

“Right. Thanks.” You folded your arms.

“This mouse clicks now.” Steve mimicked your stance. “Maybe I could help you with the other one? Dinner tonight?”

“I don’t think so.” You sighed. “Thanks for coming down, but I should get back to work.”

“Right.” Steve pressed his lips into a fake smile and stepped away. “Wouldn’t want to distract you with a life.”

“Excuse me?” You scoffed at him.

“You backed off because you actually liked me.” He stepped forward. “But that would mean not working eighty hours a week. Being something other than frigid from time to time?”

“I backed off because you throw around insults like candy at a parade.” You signaled for him to move. “So if you don’t mind, this frigid dummy has important business to take care of.”

“That’s genius Doll. You not liking insults? I bet your pussy got a little wet hearing them just now. Strong, powerful woman being put in her place? Yeah, that’s what you need.” He grinned at you.

Your mouth hung open in shock. Those few sentences alone were enough to get him fired.

“That’s right. Keep those lips parted. I can slide my cock between them easier that way.” Steve reached out and grabbed your chin, pulling it down.

“Are you insane?” You went to slap him, but he caught your wrist. “I could have you fired, you arrogant asshole!”

“But you won’t.” Steve squeezed down on your wrist and chin, holding your mouth open. “Because I’m right. You are wet. Aren’t you Doll?”

You tried to say no, but all that came out was a mumble. Instead, you shook your head.

“Wow. Not only are you a dummy and frigid.” Steve twisted your arm and dropped your chin. “You’re also a liar.”

You cried out as he manipulated your body so it was against his chest, your arm pressed between the two of you painfully.

“Let go of me or I’ll scream.” You tried to claw at him with your freehand, but he hoisted your wrist higher and pushed forward, making your chest go flat on your desk as he kicked your ankles apart.

“No, you won’t.” Steve’s other hand ran over the curve of your ass, squeezing your cheek. “First off, nobody is here. Second, they’d open the door to see you bent over, vulnerable, filled with lust.”

Before you could respond Steve started to bunch your skirt over your hips.

“NO!” You tried to stand back up, but he pushed you down against the desk.

“Quit lying.” SLAP! Steve’s palm came down hard on your ass.

You let out a little squeal as your cheek stung. CRACK! It came down again.

“STOP!” You tried to wiggle away, but there was nowhere to go.

“Wow, you are being loud.” SMACK! The burn spread. “Is that what you want? Everyone at the office to see the frigid dummy liar getting spanked like the naughty girl she is? Maybe smelling your cunt? Because this little room already reeks of sex.”

He was right, you had to bite your lip to stay quiet. WHACK! SLAP! SPANK! SMACK!

“I really like you.” Steve rubbed the burn on your behind. “You’re lucky I’m willing to put up with your shit, even after not hearing from you for weeks.”

“Please stop.” You tried to stand again, ignore the flame.

“I will when you stop lying.” He pushed you down with ease.

CRACK! SLAP! WHOOSH! Each stroke made your rear explode with pain. You were trying to stifle back all noises, biting your lip so hard it started to bleed by the time tears started to pool at your eyes.

“Don’t lie.” Steve rubbed his hand against your burning behind, almost soothing it. “Are you wet?”

You opened your mouth and shook as your brain told you to shake your head no.

“I’ll stop if you tell the truth.” Steve’s fingertips dug into your pained flesh.

“Yes.” You shut your eyes, shame-filled you. “Yes. I’m wet. Now let me go!”

“Why would I do that?” Steve’s hand went up to the band of your panties and pulled them down. “You were finally good. Shouldn’t you get a reward?”

“No!” You pulled at the desk to get away, but Steve pushed you harder against the wood.

“Shhhh.” Your panties went down your thighs. “None of that now. This is the fun part, well honestly I’m sure all of this has been fun for you.”

His hand cupped your sex.

“Wow, you’re not wet.” Fingers ran over your slit. “You’re soaked. When was the last time you got laid?”

You buried your face in your hand. Humiliation at the question and your physical response flooding in.

“No wonder you’re so frigid.” The pads of his fingers pressed on your clit, eliciting a moan from your body. “You know I could’ve helped you with that on the first date right? I’ve been obsessed with you since the moment I spotted you.”

He began rubbing in a circle. The human touch, the interaction. You had missed it. Your body stilled under his touch, the way he was pressing, giving your clit the attention it needed. Another moan came out.

“As much as I want to hear those noises, now isn’t the place Doll.” Steve leaned down, his mouth next to your ear. “Keep them up and I’ll shove your panties in your mouth. Or would you like that? Tasting how sweet you are? I bet it’s better than you smell.”

You tried your hardest to stifle the whine. Steve rose back up with a chuckle and dropped your wrist. He knew that your objections were slinking away. Your body too pleased with his motions to put up any fight.

He started to rub harder and faster. You found yourself bucking against him, grinding your clit against his fingers as your stomach started to coil.

“When was the last time you came?” He picked up speed. You clawed at the desk as your body ignited. You needed this. “Answer the question.”

“I….I….” Your head was swimming.

“That’s not an answer.” Steve slowed down, lessened the pressure.

“I don’t remember!” You gasped and tried to rock against him. “Please don’t stop!”

“Wow, first it’s please stop and now it’s please don’t stop?” His hand left your body and frustration started to fill you. “No wonder you’re so on edge. If you’ve waited this long, I think you can wait a few more minutes.”

The sound of his belt coming undone was unmistakable. You lifted your head to look around.

“What are you doing?” You pushed yourself off the desk as Steve sat in the chair, his cock yanked out of his pants, standing at attention.

“Giving you a place to cum.” He put his arms on the rests. “You want to finish don’t you?”

“I….I’m not having sex with you!” You stood up, your skirt still around your waist.

“Quit pretending.” Steve rolled his eyes and leaned forward, yanking your panties down further with one hand as he wrapped the other around your waist. “We went on three dates. I think that’s plenty. “You have thirty seconds to decide. Do you want to be the frigid bitch or the strong woman who takes what she wants?”

“And you think I want you?” The frustration was started to turn to anger.

“I know you want me.” He swiped his fingers over your pussy making you fall forward with a squeak. “Your body knows you want me. Quit lying. Take what’s yours.”

Steve pressed down hard on your clit again. A moan started to come forward, your lip was already swollen, you needed something to bite down on and without thinking you moved forward, even more, opting for his shoulder.

“Ahhh.” He brought his other hand to the back of your thigh, helping you straddle him on the chair. “Bite me all you like baby.”

You didn’t lift your head. His hands moved, one to his cock the other to the small of your back. His tip ran down your slit before stopping at your entrance. He put pressure on your back and you gasped as his cock split you.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” It had been so long, there was a slight pain as you lowered yourself. “You’re so big.”

“And you’re so tight.” Steve pushed you harder. “Fuck baby. You’re not a dummy or frigid, or a liar, when you’re like this you’re the fucking queen.”

He pulled your head hard against your shoulder as he flexed his hips and pushed your back. Impaling you on his cock. You cried out against his body as yours started to shake.

“A queen who can take whatever she likes. Whatever she demands.” Steve’s hands moved to your hips. “I’m nothing but her loyal subject.”

You were on top, but he was in control. His fingers guided you as you bounced on his cock, your clit brushing against his body with each movement. He was so large; you were so filled. You moaned into his chest as you tried to follow his lead, the heat, and desire for release returning.

“Please, Steve.” You were starting to lose control. “Please, I need to cum.”

“Then cum.” Steve nipped at your neck. “Nobody is stopping you. Take it.”

Your body shook as you pushed yourself, trying to take the lead from him. Moan in his shoulder as your hands dug into the chair. Rolling and rocking your body.

“Are you the Queen?” Steve flexed his ass, poking the tip of his cock against your cervix.

“No.” You weren’t going fast enough, chasing the need to finish. You needed his help. “You’re the King.”

You looked up at him with glassy eyes. A smile spread across his face. In a swift movement, he hoisted you in the air and set you on your back on the desk.

“Fuck yeah I am.” His hands dug into your thighs as he started to pound into you without mercy.

You brought your hands to your mouth to bite down, but Steve swatted them away.

“I don’t care anymore. Let them hear you. Let everyone know you’re getting fucked. I want them to hear you.” He didn’t slow up, his threats and demands sending more pleasure through your body. “Cum now. Do It. NOW.”

That was all it took. You started to explode around him, creaming yourself as his cock railed into you. Your head floated away, and you didn’t hold back the moans as your body went limp from the euphoria.

Steve bottomed out one last time before pulling away. He reached for something and pressed it against his cock. His face contorted from the release as he joined you in the release.

You tried to steady your breathing as Steve's hands grabbed your ankles. He was sliding your panties back into place. You looked down to see his seamen against the fabric.

“Don’t even think about taking these off.” He lifted your ass and his cum pressed against your pussy. “I’ll pick you up at seven for dinner.”

You didn’t think before nodding in agreement. Steve leaned down and kissed your forehead before tucking himself away. You didn’t even get off your desk before he left the office whistling, door wide open.

#Steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #marvel fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #steve rogers #captain america #marvel au #marvel #captain america x reader

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ayankun · 3 years

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WandaVision episode 6

FIRST OFF

Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:

It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???) There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.

HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:

Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.

Two things here:

No, that’s not a twins joke.

Another Moonmen Confirmed

I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time

Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference. I am an Old.

There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep. The Setup:

The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels. It’s so funny:

The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all

The “speaking Sokovian”

The treat being a fish

They have to share the fish

The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but. the trauma is the joke. The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!

Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.

Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!! “Be. Good.” UGH.

(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice? Please let it be deliberate. I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?

)

“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT

DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.

Found. FOUND. Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.” Third Party Confirmed.

I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now. “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”

I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong. Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music.

OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:

As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period. The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!! And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!! This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.

How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.

Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft. That happened in Civil War, right? So the next ad is The Snap? We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.

90s: Civil War

00s: Infinity War

10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????

??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!

I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw. Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left. Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established. That’d be p neat. A very unique kind of chaos.

god she’s so cute

Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro. I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed? But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro? Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse? If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???

????????????????

Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking. But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.

Rule of Threes - The Reference:

Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away. I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.

That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up? Because look. If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident? With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just. There’s just too many villains, alright? We gotta start merging these plotlines.

(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up. I’ll wait for enlightenment)

Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town. Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.

ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California. In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.

So let’s talk Agnes.

Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)

Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)

When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned? Was it Agnes?

Wanted to babysit REAL BAD

Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins

Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board

Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him. Highly unlikely that he’s real

Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)

In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch

She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?

Naughty

So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right? I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right. If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).

To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied. Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.

If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???

I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.

How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time? In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors. Third Party Confirmed.

Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory. Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!

Rule of Threes - The Payoff:

Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?

Ok, final thought. I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection. Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.

These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV

A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top.

I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction. Like. LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.

(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)

This is my favorite show Of All Time.

#WandaVision #1x06 #All-New Halloween Spooktacular!

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solarcitymelodies · 4 years

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Wowza sorry y'all about the random massive Rockafire spam, I'm pretty sure ??most?? People on here? know me for just Knight Rider because that's the only thing I've ever REALLY posted about--

but I Do Not Care it's RAE hours right now so uhhh here's some headcannons that probably aren't Canon compliant very much because I just got into RAE like last week

So like. I feel like Mitzi is a Good Amount younger than the rest of the band like she was in highschool when she joined, the rest of em were all Adults™ and she was a little bit nervous about it because...... ADULTS™

She was just lookin for a place to get her singing voice out there, because ya girl REALLY wanted to perform, and showbiz happened to have a slot open, but she did not expect all of the members to be older than her (although looking back, she realized she probably should have expected that)

It was intimidating at first but Billy Bob and Fatz were just the absolute sweetest and they introduced her properly to the rest of the band because she was like "oh I barely talk to them because I get nervous :(" and the resident dads p much said "aight we can do all the talking for you then, how about that?" And badabing badaboom she's now attached to these two and like honestly who isn't or maybe that's just me but ANYWAYS I feel like the band would become a second home/safe space for her

Yeah fr some reason I have BIG long headcannon for her joining the band but the rest of them? Nobody knows how they got there for all I know they just Showed Up One Day

Also I came across this

https://youtu.be/UU7BeUWQBDI

youtube

Which got me thinkin about what my headcannons were as far as sexuality/gender stuff

And I find the concept of Billy Bob being Very Much Straight And Ignorant but trying his hardest to be a good ally SO funny like if someone came out to him he'd probably be like "oh!! I don't understand why you would choose that lifestyle but I respect you!!" not realizing how incredibly stupid he sounds sjkrjh like I don't think he can very easily wrap his head around how people are just. not cishet. so he's like "OH then it must be a choice, right? like you can choose to be gay but you're born straight. Right?" and everyone just shakes their heads in the background but he does earnestly try his best and my man would rather DIE than disrespect someone's pronouns I know this for sure

Fatz is pretty similar, straight ally and a lil confused but he's got the spirit, you know? He still least knows being gay (as well as,,, m o s t sexualities that aren't straight, although some he doesn't get/know about at all) isn't a choice but he hasn't quite grasped that being trans is also not a choice. He will respect your pronouns to hell and back but by god he doesn't get it,,, he's trying though and he feels very accomplished in himself that he's starting to get the hang of using they/them even though he slips up a lot

The rest of the band encourages the HELL out of these two because they're. Trying their best and making an honest effort which is more than a pretty good chunk of people would give

Rolfe, Earl, and Dook are the reasons Billy Bob and Fatz are trying so hard to understand it lmao

Rolfe took it upon himself to hang up a MASSIVE gay pride flag backstage, being the flaming homosexual that he is, and the rest of the squad quickly realized "oh he's GAY gay he wasn't kidding" because at first they literally thought he was joking as he was actually just being openly and obnoxiously a raging mlm (and like I mean no shade to him this isn't me tryna to make fun of it because my dumb sapphic ass almost crashed my car once because I saw a pretty girl walk down the street. And by "once" I mean. Yesterday.) Anyways yeah that's when the rest of em Realized and were like "OH" but after the massive pride flag was hung up that prompted Dook to come out and they were all like "???? YOU TOO????"

Dook is a non-binary ICON he's a demiboy and goes by both he/him and they/them and probably would have a bunch of pride pins I think,,, I'm not really sure of his sexuality though!! honestly he kinda gives me bisexual vibes but Who Knows . Not me. He has a HELL of a time trying to explain his gender to the rest of the band (except for Rolfe because like. He's a part of the community so he knows) and basically he was met with "so you're just a dude but ✨spicy✨?" and it was like, "no, but I have no idea how to explain it in a way that will make sense to you, so. yes?" And that explanation seemed to suffice for most of them

Mitzi went in knowing NOTHING about what being non-binary was so she asked a l o t of questions about it, which Dook just kinda dealt with answering (he's heard most of it before, and it gets tiring after a while. if you're nb or trans or honestly any part of LGBTQ+ you know what I mean) but he thought it was really sweet of her to be so determined to learn about it and eventually she did get a grasp on it ish, so she was able to understand why it wasn't just ✨spicy male✨ (the conversation pretty much went "well if i was just male, don't you think I would label myself that way instead?" "....oH TRUE!!!") and she ended up a VERY passionate ally, and she'll ask occasionally about how to be better at it, bein a queen as she is 👉👉 also definitely started questioning her sexuality after a while and just went with "maybe bicurious" and Rolfe, Dook, and Earl were all like "ONE OF US, ONE OF US"

Earl has never once spoken about his sexuality in his life, because 1. He's very aware that's an awkward conversation to have with a puppet, and 2. He's aroace anyways, which is basically what people assume even if they don't realize it just for their own peace of mind, because seriously, puppets and any identity that ISN'T aroace creates a really uncomfortable mental image for... Most people, pretty much. So it's not like he ever needed to say anything about it, which is convenient for him because he wouldn't want to say anything either way. not worth the risk of embarrassing himself and making everyone feel awkward

(side note ish though Rolfe 100% came out to Earl first and was met with "I already knew that but okay." Rolfe was mildly offended)

And spEAKING OF EARL he's VERY much sentient but he can't say he's particularly enthusiastic about it because Rolfe has to carry him around everywhere

He can move on his own but it's limited and generally annoying to maneuver around with his tiny body so he just says screw it half the time and stays on Rolfe's arm or hitch a ride on Random Object, but like... Yeah, the majority of the time Rolfe just has to deal with only having one arm available and a puppet directly next to him making fun of him at every possible chance

They high-key have chaotic and unorganized college roommate vibes (like they're actually roommates because... Where tf is Earl supposed to go?? So Rolfe took him in) and idk if this is really like a part of my headcannons or if I just think it's funny so I keep entertaining the idea of it but I think it would be Fantastic if Rolfe had no idea how to cook but Earl somehow did so this idiot is trying to take instructions from a puppet, who can't physically show him what to do, and it's like Hell's Kitchen live featuring a furry and a sentient stuffed animal

Aaaaamd going off of my Rolfe and Earl headcannons still Rolfe for SURE has some sort of executive dysfunction issue. ADD or ADHD I'm not sure (probably ADHD) but he definitely has it also this totally isn't just me projecting how dare you accuse me of that

And!!! More about Dook!!!! I don't know how or why I thought up of this but I cannot possibly imagine him any other way now-- he's autistic and space is his Big Huge special interest, and if you ever ask him about it you have to be prepared to get infodumped or possibly even shown a PowerPoint presentation, because GOD he loves space!!! He wants everyone to know all about it!! He knows not everyone thinks it's as cool as he does so he tries to keep his mouth shut but when someone asks about it he can't help himself and will infodump a LOT, also haha drumming stims go brrrr, playing the drums isn't really a stim but he likes to just take his drumsticks and whack em around in the air and get that good ol Wavy Arm Action (wavy arms is best stim change my mind you can't it's GOOD)

Also i bbbbelieve earlier I reposted somethin about someone else headcannoning that he has echolalia, which I don't really know enough about to say anything on it?? But even if he doesn't have echolalia he'd probably repeat phrases over and over until he gets tired of them (which is,,, something I do lmao, it's either memes I get stuck in my head or things I've heard from various medias I like the inflections in (like one tiktokker I saw was talking about their tourettes and their vocal tics and one of them was "uh oh! How unfortunate!" and now I CAN'T STOP SAYING IT)) but like uhhh yeah :))) repeating phrases that get stuck in your head for various reasons for the win

This is already really long so I'm just gonna vibe out thanks for coming to my Ted talk feel free to ask questions I probably won't be able to answer a lot of em though because my headcannons are a Mess hehe >:)

#WOOOW GROMIT #rae #rockafire explosion #rock-a-fire explosion #i still don't know what tags y'all use #someone pls stop me from stealing peoples vocal tics i find on tiktok #like seriously #the one i mentioned as well as are stuck in my head #SIZZLE IT UP G R O M I T #he lp #lmaooo anyways yeah i love these characters im biased towards rolfe and earl tho they're my favorites

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babygirl06301 · 3 years

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1x09: Home Rating: ★★★★☆

Look here for my explanations of these reviews.

Written by: Eric Kripke

Directed by: Ken Girotti

They really should’ve found more reasons to bring back Missouri, huh? What a waste. Well, I’ve got to say, this episode is better than I remember it being. I think a lot of that can be attributed to this being an episode where stuff feels like it’s finally starting to go down, but regardless, I enjoyed it a lot.

What I liked: Dean, for one thing, but I’ll save that for later. I think it’s really good that SPN didn’t neglect its own rules with this episode; spirits stick around when they’ve had violent deaths, and Mary’s was as violent as it gets. I mean, I guess that didn't happen with Jess, but let's just ignore that. The overall plot for this episode was good hype-up material for what’s coming next. John coming back, mysteries about Sam’s abilities being addressed, information on Mary’s death—all of these actually managed to get me excited to continue my rewatch despite knowing, not only what happens next, but how it all ends.

What I didn’t like: I know it probably wasn’t that feasible to do since the circumstances surrounding Mary’s death were set to come up later, but it still would’ve been nice if the boys could’ve had a moment to breathe with their mother before she destroyed herself. Not, like, talking with her or anything, but drawing that moment out a little bit would’ve been nice. Or, at least, having a conversation between the boys at the end about it.

Character work: I know this episode focused on Sam a little bit more than it did Dean because of Sam’s psychic abilities, but I loved what we saw from Dean in this episode. I actually don’t remember this getting addressed enough in the series, but it’s really intriguing to see/hear how Mary’s death affected Dean so much more than it did Sam because Sam was only a baby when it happened. I’ll talk about this scene a bit more in the next section, but you can really feel it when Dean calls John and asks for him to come help them. It’s also in Dean’s expression when they see Mary at the end—Sam is emotional when he sees her, but Dean is shocked. Some of that may have to do with the fact that Sam had realized who she was already, but I think it also has to do with the fact that Dean has been pushing away any memory of Mary’s death since it happened, and seeing her shook him.

Favorite scene: So, my favorite scene, despite the fact that the boys seeing their mother was beautiful—and maybe it’s because Dean is my favorite character, I don’t know—was when Dean called John at the gas station, about a third of the way through the episode. The fear in Dean’s voice during that scene is phenomenal—hats off to Jensen for that one. Not only are you seeing the trauma Mary’s death put him through, but you’re seeing how much Dean leans on his father. It’s an interesting scene because, for most of the series, Dean fights tooth-and-nail against leaning on people. This scene was a good reminder that he wasn’t always that guy—that, even though he was looking after Sam, he still needed someone to look after him and wanted someone to look after him.

Favorite moment: Both because it was an important reveal and because it looked awesome, my favorite moment this episode was when Mary shifted from being a silhouette of fire to looking like herself.

Iconic quote: “Boy, you put your foot on my coffee table, I’m ‘a whack you with a spoon!”

It’s episodes like this that remind me why SPN can be plain ol’ good sometimes—not something that’s only good to long-time fans, but just good. Gotta say, I’m excited to keep watching.

#spn episode reviews #spn s1 reviews #supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #mary winchester #missouri moseley #jensen ackles #spn s1

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stranger-awakening · 3 years

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lmao i meant as in that ask thing about your opinion on a character and such, but i could not be bothered to send separate asks lol. you're so right about erin and clare tho, and i think orla is ace.

ah of course! It’s been a minute since I watched the show, but let’s see what I remember. I’ll do them all at once:

How I feel about this character:

Honestly they’re all such icons so I’ll just clump them all together and say I love them all. Especially how they’re also all annoying in their own ways too, that’s realism, baby. I have a particular fondness for James though cause I’m just Like That, and one time one of my friends told me I have the same energy as Clare and I have yet to recover. I like that Michelle is insane and rude but actually so full of heart, the Effy Stonem from Skins vibes of it all. And Olra! I adore her! A queen in her own right. I hope she never changes. Erin is a lot and probably the easiest to flip-flop between liking and disliking but I know she means well at the end of the day

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Erin - Clare, but I’m partial to James because tbh they seem to be heading that way.

Clare - Erin <3

Michelle - Honestly who knows at this point. She could be with anyone.

Orla - She’s ace <3

James - You know what’s whack that I noticed back in the day is that in a show with four main girls James was more likely to get shipped with literally any random guy in the show for a couple of episodes (David Donnelly come back to me). Like more than the girls were written with anyone/each other. I can’t be the only one that finds it weird that women/girls are ignored even in their own show. Anyways, Erin I guess. They’re cute and he seems to really like her.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Each other <3 I particularly love the bond between Michelle & James, and Erin & Orla. Family and all that.

My unpopular opinion about this character

This is the question that I was like “I’m not gonna have an answer” when I reblogged the post and I was right I really don’t. Oop.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I really, really want Erin and James to both come out as bi, but there’s only one season left so who knows if that will happen.

#tbh i forgot i reblogged that yesterday lmao #i was so tired last night it slipped my mind so here's your answer now anon!!#answered #Anonymous

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dewprisms · 4 years

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After your binge-watching session, which would say is better: Kim Possible or Danny Phantom, and why?

Someone actually interested in my opinion for once?

Well it depends, both have their pros and cons in regards to episode plots/arcs, characters and chara development, character designs etc. So I’ll suppose I’ll break them down into different categories. Under a cut as to not make scrolling a hassle.

Also I apologize in advance for my page theme, I know it’s kinda shitty and hard to read sometimes but I’m too busy to change it right now.

Designs/Art: I know Stephen Silver was the main designer for both shows (and his designs for a lot of the teenage girls has a uh, Obvious Pattern.) Ignoring my bias towards Vlad and Drakken, I think a lot of the ghosts have fun designs, but KP gets points for actually letting characters (esp Kim and Ron) wear other clothes in S2 and beyond, and between Phantom, S1 Kim and S4 Kim I think S4 Kim has the best “action” outfit. BUT the art style for DP is pretty stiff at times and KP style has a lot more range for animation, body types and faces. Overall though, I say they’re pretty tied imo. Both have a lot of ups and downs that truly comes down to a personal pref, even though the Fartman’s style is the more iconic one. I think KP wins animation/art and DP wins for designs.

Characters: Again, the villains shine here more than the protags. KP as such a wide range of villains that I have have to give them the point for creativity and FUN in antagonists, (Duff Killigan is prob my favorite in absurdity followed by Monkey Fist, the Seniors and DNAmy all tied for second. I really like Motor Ed too, seriously.) but that’s not to say that DP doesn’t have them either. Vlad’s true motivations are really...unique compared to other DP villains and even KP ones, (seriously? How many bad guys you know who’s goal in life is “fuck the MC’s mom and also make MC your son”) who like KP are just “take over the world and/or cause tons of destruction” but with only half the fun. Sadly Dark Danny’s entire thing hinges on him being Danny But Evil who only wants...destruction??? Whereas Evil Ron actually does something interesting with the character, showing Ron’s true potential (see Evil Ron vs Electronique in “Stop Team Go” for example) and being in-character for him still. (Faux Take Over The World plot to cover his true goal of owning all the world’s Nacos? Of fucking course Ron would. Brilliant.) Evil Ron still has hints of Ron’s personality (”Boo-yahaHAHAHA!”) whereas Dark Danny is just... evil for evil’s sake, which can be good when actually done right, but in this case isn’t because the only thing that resembles Danny is his outfit. Shego’s backstory is great. DP’s new S3 enemies are very boring despite interesting powers. KP S4’s Camille Leon is great but Warmonga is just eh. Moving on to protags, KP’s protags are far, far more interesting than DP’s. Which brings us to the next point. (Also Mr. Barkin > Mr. Lancer, and Kim’s parents > Danny’s parents.) KP gets this one.

Chara Development: Gonna say it, DP almost has none, and straight up regresses in very end of S2 and most of S3. I swear the only real characters who have any are Vlad (for better or for worse, the latter imo), Jazz (when they remember her, and is good) and Valerie (whose is good too). Tucker gets 3 (three!!) fking episodes about him and they ALL carry the same theme of him not being able to responsibly handle having any kind of power, which is why him becoming the town mayor at the end is so BAD. There’s NO WAY Tucker of all people would make a good mayor. VALERIE got more episodes than him, JAZZ got more episodes than him, both with development that STUCK while he’s a MAIN CHARACTER. Sam never changes, def for worse. Sam is a Base-Breaking Character for a dang reason. She’s extremely pushy, acts like she’s lowkey better than everyone else, and never seems to consider how her actions affect other people, and the like 1 or 2 times she does it doesn’t fucking stick like she’s Hank Hill or something. Danny has no real development for his character. All that develops for him are his powers and nothing else. On the other hand, KP characters DO have development and it shows! Not just for the protags but for villains too! Kim is bossy and a lil controlling early on and stops during S2, whereas Ron was extremely cowardly and gets, not exactly braver but just less phased by it all, plus early he never quite liked going on missions but later on gets sad if he has to miss them, before he doesn’t like being distractions but later on very much takes pride in being one, and etc. Drakken and Shego get development too, esp their relationship with each other AND with Ron and Kim. Bonnie actually got an episode of development (but sadly regressed in time for the finale) whereas Pauline just...never changes whatsoever. Bonnie actually makes for a good rival and mean girl for Kim for the entire show whereas Paulina and her relationship with Danny and Sam are just....bland and doesn’t go anywhere. There’s nothing for Dash, though Ron doesn’t really have an equivalent. So, KP gets this one.

Episodes/Plots/Arcs: DP wins in the Lore department by far, KP wins in character arcs. A Sitch In Time answers the great questions of What Would Happen if the Villains Teamed Up AND Shego is a Better Villain than Drakken so Why isn’t She in Charge? ft Time Travel. The Ultimate Enemy answers What If Danny Went Evil and Is Vlad Completely Irredeemable? ft Time Travel. KP definitely does the “balancing Hero duties with School life” better than DP. You can definitely see her struggles with it whereas DP is just kinda there. I also very much like that Kim is girly but is never shamed for it both in-universe and out, whereas DP is known for the shitty “I’m not like other girls” fake feminist bullshit. A problem I have with DP is that time pretty much never changes, as if the show takes place within a year, and it seriously hampers the growth of the show could have. Time is also just out of whack, they take their big end-of-the-year test then it’s Christmas THEN it’s Summer Vacation but even in S3 they’re all still in the first year of high school like ??? What?? Whereas KP starts in Freshman year and ends with Senior Graduation. The arcs of Danny/Sam vs Kim/Ron are just...D/S was definitely teased a ton more but by S3 you just get tired of it, not to mention the hypocrisy regarding the character relationships. Personal opinion warning, but Danny/Valerie had a lot more development in such a short time and was super interesting. Kim/Ron didn’t have as many teasing esp in S1 and S2 (it’s there though) but it def picks up in S3 and I love how their new relationship was handled in S4. Back to episodes, my favorite episodes for both are Reign Storm and So The Drama, but while I might be biased toward Reign Storm I’m gonna have to ultimately give better episodes overall to KP. So The Drama has Drakken going back to his Actually Dangerous roots from early on and becoming the closest to anyone to actually winning on his own merit (Shego stole the Tempus Simia from Drakken/Duff/MF and relied on weird time shit of Kim being “lost in the time stream” ((actual canon explanation)) to travel to the future specifically to stop her, to actually win) and is SO good when Dr. D finally gets defeated, plus (personal bias here) Kim and Ron’s teased hook-up finally happens. I will say though, I’m not a fan of S4′s Hana Stoppable/The Han story. As both shows are action-oriented, they definitely have their fair share of good fights but I think KP also has better action and fight scenes. Humor is extremely subjective but I think KP made me laugh more. Finally, DP is infamous for S3 just being bad whereas KP just got better and better with each season, though I’d put S4 below S3 and above S2. So: Lore = DP. Arcs, Action and Eps = KP.

Fandom: Ignoring the super gross shipping aspects of some parts of the fandom (If ur a P*mpousP*p or K*go shipper pls go away from my stuff i’m fucking serious), I think DP wins for this one. Many great OCs, (I really haven’t seen any for KP aside from next gen?) the already interesting lore is def expanded so much by fans, I legitimately don’t care for “Wes Weston” but my god did the fandom do some serious work for this boy. I don’t know too much about KP since the fandom seems kinda dead aside from some shipping stuff and a very slight revival from the movie, whereas DP ended before KP and is still very very active. DP wins fandom.

(Bonus) Reboots/Redesigns: I’m gonna be honest, I’m not sure what could be done better for KP aside from the mess of Disney’s out-of-order airings, a more serious reboot wouldn’t work for the show at all, but DP could definitely use a reboot and fixes the disaster of S3. And reboots & character redesigns are def a hot topic for the DP fandom. So DP gets this one, though I’m not sure if this is a good thing.

Final: So over all, 4 for KP and 4 for DP, or if you add the little groups, 7 for KP and 4 for DP. Overall, I’ll say KP is the better show, but DP shines with the fandom. I also have a personal bias in favor of DP but it makes them even out for me. If you want interesting lore and good fandom content, go for DP. If you want fun and interesting characters, actual character development and more action and drama, KP is the way to go.

But instead of picking one, just watch both!

#danny phantom #kim possible #disney #nickelodeon #ship hate /#asks #rue postings #Anonymous

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erindoodless · 4 years

Text

boredom in quarantine

so i made an unintentional crackfic for fandom games it’s horrible pls enjoy

read on ao3

Dan was so bored in quarantine. There was absolutely nothing to do! Besides just doing stuff online. This was the first time that Dan desired to go out somewhere.

While Dan was complaining about everything, Phil was quite the opposite. He was happy to sit and watch movies all day or play Animal Crossing.

On the fourth week of quarantine, Dan got so fed up. Phil was chilling comfortably in the living room while watching Endgame when Dan decided to literally throw himself on top of Phil because of his boredom.

“Ow! Dan, what was that for?” Phil groaned out of annoyance.

“I. Am. So. Bored. Please give us something to do,” Dan whined while laying on top of him.

Phil thought for a second. “Well, this movie is about to end since Tony is dying. I have an idea, although it might be a bit strange.”

“What is it?” Dan asked in confusion. He had his head buried into Phil’s chest, so it just sounded like a mumble.

“I thought that since there are so many fan-made Cards Against Humanity games about us out online that maybe we could play one.”

Dan looked up in surprise. “Why would we play that? And don’t you need to buy a physical version of them?”

Phil looked away in embarrassment. “I may or may not have bought a fan-made version for us to play on the gaming channel a while back. I kind of forgot about it until now since we cleaned out the apartment earlier.”

“Oh. Okay, then. Good idea. Tell me where it is, so I have something to do while you finish this terrible movie.”

“Dan, how dare you call Endgame terrible! This is the best movie ever created. It brings me so many emotions! Anyway, the game is on the top shelf of my cupboard on the left.”

Dan wandered into Phil’s bedroom (it was also secretly his bedroom on occasions) to find the silly game. Phil had so much random crap in his cupboard it was a struggle to find it. He had to go through different masks, plushies, and wigs. He also found a lot of sexual items because of Phil’s weird kinks, but he tried his best to ignore that.

When he finally found the wretched game, it read ‘Cards Against Humanity: Dan and Phil Box.’ He was surprised that he did not know this was actually a thing until now.

As Dan went back to the living room, Phil was still sitting on the couch, but now playing Animal Crossing on his switch. “Why did that take so long? It’s been a good half hour since Tony died.”

Dan rolled his eyes jokingly. “Well, you had so much weird crap in your cupboard I had to literally hunt for the game,” he said as he laid the game onto their living room table.

“Well, you set up the game while I get some snacks!” Phil exclaimed as he sauntered into their small kitchen.

“Okay,” Dan sighed. He was honestly scared to find out what this game would be about, but he decided he would play for Phil’s excitement and because he was still very bored. He was also quite curious about what the cards would be.

He sat down on the cream carpet and laid out the cards on the table, thinking it might be hard to play Cards Against Humanity with only two people. But maybe Phil was also just interested in what the cards would be.

Phil came back from the kitchen with two small bags of mini eggs from Easter and the huge bag of marshmallows that he accidentally bought for his Easter baking video.

“Let’s begin!” he said enthusiastically.

“Phil, how exactly are we going to play this with only two people?”

“One of us will choose a black card and then we can both put down a white card. And then we can both decide who will win.”

Dan was still a bit baffled because this is a ‘party game,’ not a game that’s meant to be played with 2 people. “That’s a strange way of playing it, but okay.”

During the first round, Phil picked up a black card that read, ‘What should I name my animal crossing island?’

Phil smiled as he placed down his white card next to the white card. “Okay. I think I have a good one for this.”

“Well, I think mine is even better.” Dan slapped down his card onto the table, which caused Phil to yelp.

After they had both put down cards, Phil lifted them both up. Dan’s card read, ‘Phil trash #1’, while Phil’s card read, ‘Dan’s first video.’

Dan did another dramatic eye roll. “Alright, I think it’s obvious who the winner of this round is.”

“Yeah! It’s clearly me.” Phil replied while doing his tongue laugh.

“No way! My card is iconic. This is a compliment towards you, Phil! Your card makes me cringe.”

“That was the point! And I don’t want someone to name their Animal Crossing island after me! That’s just weird.”

Dan was becoming more competitive as the seconds went by. And then he just sighed.

“Fine! You win. But I have to win all the other rounds,” he huffed out.

Phil snickered while nibbling on a marshmallow in the fakest evil way he could. “Dan, don’t have a temper tantrum because of a silly card game!”

“Whatever. Let’s just move onto the next round.”

They both picked up a new card and Dan picked up another black card that read, ‘Phan is ____.’

“Oh, of fucking course this card is here,” Dan said in irritation as he shuffled through his white cards. He was fed up about hearing their ship name.

Phil laughed as he put down his card on the table. “Alright I have a great card for this as well.”

“Mine will probably win though because you suck,” Dan said in a snarky remark as he whacked his white card down, which caused Phil to jump again.

This time Dan picked up both cards. His card read, ‘A Day in the Life,’ while Phil’s card said, ‘The yodeling pickle.”

“Phil, are you serious right now? ‘Phan is the yodeling pickle?’ I don’t think that is accurate at all.”

Phil giggled. “Well, Phan is certainly not ‘A Day in the Life.’

“Listen. That’s the best card I have. Now give me the fucking points.”

“Yeah, all the points go to me. I am so good at this game,” Phil smirked.

“Okay, I’m done!” Dan declared. He stomped back to his room in misery.

Phil sat back on the couch to play Animal Crossing. He was happy that he finally figured out a way to get rid of Dan when he wanted to just sit and relax by himself.

#phan #dan and phil #daniel howell #phil lester #amazingphil #DNP #erin writes #phanfic

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babyitsacrime · 4 years

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1, 22, 23, and 43 for the OC asks.

First off, I apologize for my absolutely atrocious grammar here and also the fact that I just can’t seem to put things into words.

Secondly I wrote this in a different app and then copy pasted so the formatting is a little whack.

1. Your first OC ever?

Oh gosh this one is a little hard to answer. I think Natalia’s my first OC that I ever fully wrote well but me and my friends used to write a lot of stories/fanfiction in middle school so I have some characters from there too that might be older than Nat. Also there’s like three different versions of Nat (Quizup, Next Gen, and the Nat I have now) , and again the one I have right now is by far the most developed/closest to a whole character.

Okay but I talk about Nat a lot so even though I’m not sure which one actually came first I’ll talk about a character I had in the Homestuck fanfiction my friends and I wrote in middle school. (before you ask, yes it’s the 100 page one I’m pretty sure) (also I’m ignoring the self inserts me n my friends made for our other stories bc those don’t count as ocs and I refuse to accept them as characters dhdksjdjs) But basically she’s a troll named Ninmah Aurora. She was heavily based off of Kanaya Maryam, the iconic Homestuck vampire fashion designer lesbian character so that was interesting. And even though I didn’t actually write that much for her she’s one of my favorite characters because I had so much fun writing her with my friends. Anyways can’t believe I just exposed myself as a Homestuck stan on main but you know what it’s fine.

22. Is there any OC of yours that people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Okay there’s a couple and most of them are small things so I’ll just go by character.

Natalia -

let me just start by saying this: it still baffles me why y’all think she’s cool cshdjsj. She’s kinda a dumb bitch if I’m being honest. Like, don’t get me wrong, she’s super smart and could easily outwit me and honestly any of us, but she’s also plain stupid sometimes in other ways. But like, on the other side of the coin I feel like she almost doesn’t get taken seriously sometimes? I feel like that’s a little on me for usually making jokes at her expense but while she is clueless as to how people function she’s also not plain dumb. A lot of what she says and does is well calculated and even when she does something in the spur of the moment it’s always something logical to her. Hn I don’t know if I’m explaining this right but 🤷♀️. But basically she’s not really cool but also she’s not stupid. (Okay ig being good at Quidditch is pretty cool but that’s not my point)

Also I don’t know why but some people (very few people but it’s still annoying to me) seem to think that her being bi is a huge part of her personality when it’s really not. While she is bi, not everything she does is motivated by that fact if that makes any sense. Like for example, if she’s wearing be a rainbow dress it’s not because she’s (and I quote) "team gay" it’s because she liked the damn dress. Okay I’m rambling now but all I’m saying is that it kinda annoys me when people see her being bi as a hugely defining personality trait. Also she isn’t the only character I notice this happens to.

Ishaan -

Similarly to Nat, whole he does enjoy pranking and such, he’s actually a serious person most of the time. Think of him as more of like a serious and skeptical person who also has a good sense of humor. Although I will say that he does sometimes go out of his way to make a joke sometimes, that’s only sometimes and mostly just to annoy Priya.

Lysander -

Another case of the being gay isn’t his personality. Also??? He’s not gay??? I don’t really know where that came from (like I know who mentioned it to me but I have no clue where she got that from aside from just assuming?) for the record, he is also bi and has a slight preference for girls (mostly bc he likes having an s/o shorter than him but we won’t go into that rn). *slams fists on table* jUST BECAUSE HES FUNNY DOESNT MEAN HES THE TOKEN GAY FRIEND OKAY (okay okay I’m done ranting time to continue)

I also feel like his joking nature is often seen as a sign of him not being as a lack of intellect, but that is in no way true. While he isn’t a genius or anything, he’s a little smarter than average, yet still prone to making dumb decisions because he is still a child. But with more life experience he’ll make smarter decisions while still retaining a joking demeanor.

Priya -

I’m going to keep this one short, but she isn’t as cold and cruel as I sometimes make her seem when I talk about her. I feel like this one’s mostly on me but yeah, she’s a caring person for the most part, just a little misguided and/or dramatic at times.

~I think that’s all of them but I might be wrong? Also none of those explanations make a lot of sense I’m sorry 😔~

23. Introduce an OC that has changed from what your first idea considering what the character would be like.

*drags Nat out again* Here you go.

So I mentioned earlier that there’s like three different versions of her, but in all reality they almost feel like different characters with the same name. However I will say that Next Gen Nat and the Nat I have now (I like to call it her final form bc I think I’m finally happy with her) are similar in many many aspects. But I’ll talk about this Nat because I like her the best and she’s the only Nat I actively use. She was originally intended to be a lot colder/closed off than she is. (Think a lot closer to Aster, but I think pep also had a similar thing with him.) She just ended up becoming a lot softer and a little friendlier than I intended her to be. I’m not exactly unhappy with that though, I feel like this actually added a bit more dimension to her character and it actually gave me a little more room to improve her. It was also bound to happen anyways, especially with the characters she’s friends with/will be friends with. So yeah, it’s interesting and honestly I feel like I’m happy with the changes from what I originally intended her to be.

Hm while I’m here I guess I should also talk about Taemoon.

I don’t know that his personality changed much from my original intent, but his story and intent definitely did. He started as a character that exuded a lack of hope. I don’t know if that sentence makes a lot of sense, but he was originally going to have no chance at happiness in the end. He was supposed to let all of his anger and hurt consume him, making him hell bent on revenge, which would only push him further from anything that could make him happy, but I feel like the end of his story is a lot more hopeful now. I don’t know exactly what it is, but ever since pep asked if Jae Hong could adopt him Taemoon’s life story has become something a lot less disheartening. Now I’ve given him a lot more to live for, and a lot more to make him happy. First off, instead of being alone he now has a family that he quickly grows to trust, and a group of friends with similar experiences that basically become family as well. While he is still very revenge driven, he has a lot more to his life than just that; most importantly he has people he trusts that will keep him from becoming consumed by all of his anger. But yeah, he has become a much more hopeful character as a whole and honestly. I feel like that’s what I really needed. Idk about everyone else but I feel like changing his story to the way it is now really has helped me to feel a lot better in general.

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favor certain traits or looks?

Oh god it’s time to confess 😔🤙

So, as most of you have figured out, most of my ocs tend to be very attractive and very capable (and willing) to step on me. If they’re not that then they’re in the minority.

Aside from being physically attractive as a whole, I’d say that in regards to looks, the more they look like they haven’t slept in weeks and are ready to kill a man, the better. If not that, then it’s an oc that looks like I could cuddle with them for hours on end. There’s no in between.

As for traits I tend to favor, probably the most popular is a bad attitude. If you take a look at some of my most used and/or favorite characters, you’ll find that in most cases the snarkier the better. Honestly this is true of characters that aren’t even mine, I just really have a type. At the same time though, I like these characters to have a secret soft side even if it’s only for one other character they care about. On the flip side, I also like writing characters that are genuinely the nicest people you’ll ever meet. I don’t know why but I just love them so much they are truly my children.

Also. Characters that grin in the face of danger? *chefs kiss* I like characters where you question if what they’re doing is out of courage or a death wish. For this reason so many of my characters play some kind of dangerous sport or enjoy dueling, you get what I mean. This goes for both my Edgy™️ characters as well as my soft characters.

Additionally, I do have a lot of characters that are wealthy. Uh. I think that mostly speaks for itself so I’m not going to comment on it any further than this.

Also. Flowers. For some reason I go for faceclaims that eat flowers. It’s not even something I actively seek out??? Like I’ll find someone cute and I’ll be scrolling through pictures and there they are. Eating a flower. This mostly goes for my guy fcs but yeah. Idk how it happens but it just does and I’ve come to accept it.

#aaaaaa thanks kelly!!!!#also shdjshshsh thats a lot longer than i intended it to be oh boy #natalia #ishaan #priya #lysander #taemoon #bitch boy #answered #writing rambles

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