#(and we will see her point of view or how she feels about her godhood ill take anything I just want more screentime with her)

[azulsejos]

s2 + golbetty centric episode prayer circle 🍎💝

#adventure time #fionna and cake #golbetty #golb #betty grof #adventure time fanart #art tag #fionna and cake spoilers #(living in my dream world where the apple has to do with betty) #(and we will see her point of view or how she feels about her godhood ill take anything I just want more screentime with her) #(she doesnt even need to speak i dont mind a silent golbetty episode as she does her things. incomprehensible god) #(sorry for rambling i have a lot of thoughts positive and negative. but overall i need a season 2 i need more time with these characters..) #(anyway stay safe every1 please dont start hitting each other with rocks over the finale T_T)

[justanothergeek77]

So I have thoughts on how the gods are portrayed in the PJO show so far.

I saw a post arguing that the show should've put more effort into displaying the gods' power, the way they did in the book, but I actually disagree. I really like the way that the show portrays the gods as so obviously human: as real, flawed beings, who don't feel above the world at all. Sure, they are still gods, and we know that and know to respect them, but the thing is that the reality of who the gods are is very different from how everyone thinks of them, and that disconnect ties directly into the main themes of the show.

Every time Percy hears something about the gods from an outside source, being another Demigod, Chiron, Grover, etc., the gods are placed on a pedestal. You have to burn offerings to get their attention, you have to fight for glory to earn their respect; the gods are viewed as fundamentally separate from humans and demigods, and that separation makes it seem like their behavior is okay, because they're gods. All the ways that they hurt their kids are excused by that one little fact: of course not every kid gets claimed, their parents are busy with Godly Things. Of course you have to burn offerings and fight for glory. Of course your parent won't talk to you unless you earn it, they're a God.

Then we actually meet some gods, and realize they aren't all that different from humans after all.

Mr. D is just some guy who's perpetually hungover and likes to gamble. Sure, he's a god, but he's also an asshole who refuses to remember Percy's name and pretends to be his dad just to convince Percy to get him a drink. He's a dick, as the name implies, and no less of one for the fact that he's a god. and he's protected from scrutiny by that fact; Chiron mitigates the damage Mr. D does by misleading Percy, but doesn't dare to reprimand him for it, despite clearly having more practical power over the camp than he does. Percy, on the other hand, is impertinent: he sees Mr. D for who he is, beyond godhood.

Hermes, for all that we barely see any of him, is just doing the job of a postal worker, and dealing with the mundane things that come his way because of it. He can take a joke, even if his family clearly can't; hopefully we'll see more of him soon. Like Mr. D, he hardly feels like a god at all.

Then there's Ares. He's exactly what he appears to be, for once: an asshole biker dude who starts fights on twitter for fun and makes children do his dirty work. He tries to manipulate them, but isn't very good at it, given that Grover outsmarts him. He may be the god of war, but Annabeth still mouths off to him, entirely unafraid after everything else they've faced; she's rapidly losing the respect for the gods that she once had.

Hephaestus, we don't see much of, but he seems rather ordinary too. Unlike the other gods, he's capable of reason, listening to Annabeth's pleas and agreeing with her point that it isn't supposed to be this way.

And that's the crux of the matter, really. if the gods were really Gods, if they were powerful and elevated and separate from humanity, there would be no changing them. But if they aren't these perfect beings that people have built up in their heads, then there is no excuse for the way they've acted. If they're just people, albeit powerful people, then they need to take responsibility for their actions: for their kids, for the harm they do on Earth, for this system of glory and injustice that they've perpetuated for millennia.

The PJO show isn't straying from the book, or changing the gods' portrayals just for the sake of it. It's leaning into themes that don't appear solidly until later in the series right from the start, and allowing them more time to be deeply established for a better payoff later.

I also wanted to mention two more things, but they didn't really fit anywhere earlier: Poseidon and Athena. Both of them haven't appeared onscreen yet, only influencing the plot through remote actions. Athena's actions have reinforced the distant, elevated version of her that we think of first, as she turns on her own daughter the moment she's slightly embarrassed. We haven't met Athena yet, and so her character is able to maintain that air of distance and mystery, that idea of power that could come crumbling down the moment you look too close. It's also worth noting that Athena's actions here are more of a lack of action: by allowing Echidna and the Chimera to enter her temple, a passive non-action, rather than stopping them to protect Annabeth.

Poseidon, on the other hand, does everything in his power to help Percy short of showing up in person. We may not have met him yet, but his actions speak volumes towards his character: saving Percy from falling to his death, curing the poison, and sending a messenger to reassure him all point to someone who desperately wants to be there for his son, regardless if Percy wants him or not; that's without even considering his actual words, through the messenger, which confirm this notion. It's clear after this encounter that Poseidon does have power, and one cannot forget that he is a god, but he has also dropped all pretense of pretending to be above anyone else. He's a father who loves his son, and he doesn't care about pretending otherwise anymore.

#pjo tv show #percy jackson #geek speaks #fan essay #thoughts #I wrote this all straight into the tumblr post but I might polish it up into an actual essay later #cause I definitely have more thoughts on this topic

[crisiscutie]

Dissidia Sephiroth and JENOVA!Dissidia Darling

Excerpt from my analysis of Yandere Dissidia Sephy.

Content Warning: Gaslighting/Emotional Abuse. Body Change. Allusions to pregnancy. Just a long ramble, don't bother reading if you're expecting a writing prompt.

If you've been following the Dissidia AU, you might know that in that universe, Sephiroth's darling is a summoner he took under his wing (no pun intended), masquerading as her jaded and well-meaning mentor. Eventually, he earned her trust and admiration, leading her to summon JENOVA into their universe. Darling was successful in this endeavor, but little did she know JENOVA required a physical vessel, and she chose Darling herself. Darling had no idea she succeeded, while Sephiroth, who knew, used that to his advantage in his plans to become one with her and ascend to godhood.

No matter which version, we know Sephiroth is obsessed with carrying on his mother's legacy and her bidding. He has a severe messiah complex, which made me think about how this would show up in his relationship with Dissidia Darling.

Then, I realized he would definitely view this manifestation within her as if it was like a sacred pregnancy, stroking his inflated ego even further and fueling his delusions. So, for sure, he'd be determined to see her through the entire "pregnancy," supporting her all the way. In some ways, Sephiroth still acts as a mentor to darling, but we know well that our Crisis Cutie loves weaving half-truths into his web of deception and lies. That's why I adore him as a yandere - his ruthless and obsessed personality and his storyline in Opera Omnia, where he's desperately trying to resurrect JENOVA, are the perfect foundations for this AU.

I like how there are even similarities to the Virgin Mary's tale, if you think about it. The goddess JENOVA selects the "virgin" darling to bear her new form in the Dissidia universe... Sephiroth also interpreted this as a sign that darling was the chosen girl for him. Darling and Sephiroth also bear similarities to Eve and the Serpent! If you haven't read my analysis of Sephiroth's Mommy Issues, I suggest doing so to gain insight into my next point.

To be expected, this manifestation would undoubtedly trigger Dissidia Sephiroth's mommy issues like hell, much like Fluffy Sephiroth, but he would handle it differently than him. He would seize every opportunity to "mentor" Darling, shaping her into the perfect doll mother. Not only her body must be immaculate but her psychological state as well. And if he needs to break the doll repeatedly to do that, he will. His idealized vision of motherhood will be recognized. She will be his in every sense.

So, under his "guidance," he nurtures her; encouraging strength, fostering hatred, and instilling confidence within her. And he always takes the time to ask darling about her thoughts on motherhood occasionally, dropping cryptic hints about the manifestation. She feels like he is hinting at something, but is not exactly sure what. The man just loves to watch her squirm, yearning for more information, just like he does with everyone else. But then he downplays it, perhaps making her question herself. At times, he even uses this manipulation as a playful way to charm her, making her turn a deep shade of red when coyly saying that he is might be the one to make her a mother. The cruel amusement he derives from this is almost overwhelming.

In my recent fic, Sephiroth gets a lovely taste in the distant future as a reward for his impressive progress at darling's reunion. But not too long after that, she finds herself separated from him, stumbling upon new friends who might show her the light.

But don't worry. He's desperately searching for ways to reclaim her from them. And when he's ready to confront them, he will double down on the pregnancy allusions. Perhaps he'd say something like, "You are carrying our future within you, darling."

Poor Darling would be so disturbed, feeling violated by this monster growing within her, taking over her very being. Nonetheless, Sephiroth would gaslight her, reminding her that she had willingly agreed to help him summon JENOVA, all the while wearing his signature sadistic smirk. Then, he would gradually shift back to his well-meaning mentor persona to deepen her trauma; Gently cupping her cheeks, wiping away her tears and assuring her he would take care of her. Why? Because HE was the only one who could understand her. Care for her. Love her. The worlds were against her. He was the only one fighting by her side... Makes you wonder how darling will respond to these manipulations...

Anyway, Sephiroth has essentially baby-trapped the poor darling, and I absolutely adore that allusion. It perfectly embodies the core traits of a yandere - delusion, manipulation, protectiveness, objectification, obsession, and possession. Sephiroth embodies all of these TOO well.. I can't wait to talk more about this in the full detailed analysis and in later ones of how I explain how other yandere Sephiroths put these concepts into practice with their darlings.

To end on a playful note, it's worth noting the irony that darling ended up forming connections with other FF characters, all stemming from her bond with Sephiroth. I plan on delving further into Darling's interactions with characters beyond Sephiroth and Kadaj; she's managed to gather quite the harem, xD. Perhaps the most prominent example is how Sephiroth still keeps his other "tools" around, like Seymour and Weiss, because darling is still inexperienced and not quite ready to be his sole partner. However, it's only natural that spending time with others would lead to bonding, so this turned out to be a major oversight on Sephiroth's part. He never expected his tools to form a connection with darling. So it's no surprise that Sephiroth's objectification of darling and his allies will have some eventual negative consequences. How these consequences will be explored? Well, you'll just have to keep tuning into the AU.

#final fantasy 7 #ff7 sephiroth #ff7 #sephiroth x reader #yandere sephiroth #crisis cutie #sephiroth #tw: body change #tw: abuse #tw: emotional abuse #tw: emotional manipulation #tw: noncon #tw: yandere #yandere core #male yandere #yandere stories #yandere male #tw yandere #yandere #female reader #fem reader #jenova #c.c rambles

[leelreallylikespersona]

Decaying Godhood- Chapter 2: Solemn Freedom

<- Chapter 1 ● Chapter 3 ->

“Nothing is moving…”

Nyx sat quietly on the ground, watching the three look out the giant golden door. Occasionally one of them would look back at her. It made her feel something unpleasant, she wasn’t entirely sure what it was though.

“No one is collapsing, either…” Minako said, “it’s like they’re frozen in time.”

“Do you think it’s just the view we have from here?” Minato asked.

“No,” Ryoji answered, “something doesn’t feel right… at all.”

Minako glanced back at Nyx, “do things feel off to you?”

She nodded.

“Well… what do we do?” Minako moved her attention to the other two.

“Wait.” Ryoji pointed out of the door, “something’s moving.”

The twins looked carefully.

“It looks like a person…” Minato said.

“No way,” Minako gently pulled the hair away from his eyes, “look again, no human has hair that white.”

“Akihiko-senpai had white hair, though.”

Minako shook her head, “but not that bright!”

Ryoji cleared his throat, “how about the feathers? Humans don’t have wings.”

“Are they wings? It looks more like a cape.” Minako let go of Minato’s hair, “check out all that gold too…”

“Either this guy is just really rich, or not human.” Minato said flatly, turning away.

“And those are mutually exclusive?” Ryoji moved away from the door. “They could be both.”

“I suppose so.”

“Guys.” Nyx flinched when all three quickly looked at her, “they’re moving, right? Does it matter what they look like?”

Ryoji sighed, “no, you’re right.” He faced the twins, “what should we do?”

“I don’t know, but…” Minako gestured out the door, “there’s someone else there now.”

Ryoji and Minato quickly looked out again.

“I’m going to investigate.” Ryoji said suddenly, “you two stay here… whatever is happening seems to only be affecting humans.”

“Wait, how do we know it’s safe?” Minako questioned, folding her arms.

“I can’t die, remember?”

“Yes but-“

“Ryoji!”

The three slowly looked at Nyx. She bit her tongue, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to shout… it’s just.” She stood up, “have you felt anyone die?”

Ryoji narrowed his eyes, “what are you saying?”

“You’re Death,” she said, “you should be able to tell if people are leaving this world.”

Ryoji paused. Nyx could tell he didn’t want to take her words, but he pondered anyway.

“No one is dying.”

“There you have it,” Nyx said, “the world is at a standstill.“

Minato glanced at Ryoji.

“…You’re coming with me.” Ryoji slashed the chains off of Nyx’s wrists and neck, “I don’t trust you to stay with them.”

“That’s fair…” Nyx nodded, holding her wrist.

Minato placed a hand on Ryoji’s shoulder, “may I speak with you first?”

Nyx watched them wander off. Minako approached her, grabbing her hands.

“Listen, I know… he has every right to be mad at you, but…” Minako picked up her evoker, placing it in Nyx’s hands, “I hope you’ll protect him. Even if he doesn’t want you to.”

Nyx felt her eyes begin to water.

Minako smiled, “I don’t know if I can stay mad at you… it wasn’t really your fault, was it?”

“You don’t have to make excuses for me.”

“I know, but it wasn’t you, was it?”

Nyx could feel her heart sting. Minako was right, but she felt as though she couldn’t admit it.

“Does it matter?” Nyx asked, “I still tried to do it.”

“Nyx, you weren’t even a person, then,” Minako patted her shoulder, “you were… an idea, a force of nature. Of course you didn’t know the harm it would bring.” She held her hand, “I… know about Erebus. I’m sure reflecting on all of that now must…” Minako shook her head. “I’m putting my trust in you. Now is your chance to become a great individual.”

Now she couldn’t see. Tears flooded from her eyes, dropping onto her hands below.

“I know gods probably can’t get Personas, but… I want you to take that evoker with you.” Minako attempted to wipe away the tears with her stone fingers, “ah sorry! That probably isn’t very comforting.”

Nyx laughed slightly, “thank you, Minako.”

“Damn, you made her cry?”

Nyx could barely make out Minato’s form before her.

“I didn’t mean to…” Minako said.

Nyx wiped her eyes, looking at Ryoji. His gaze still held disdain, but had softened slightly.

“Oh that’s a good idea!” Minako noted Ryoji wearing a SEES armband. She removed her own, the bright red colour returning as she wrapped it around Nyx’s arm. “Now you guys gotta go be the heroes, okay?”

Nyx smiled softly, bowing to her, “I won’t let you down.”

“Ryoji,” Minato said, “are you gonna give it to her?”

Ryoji sighed, “if you act out I’m taking this back,” he held out the sword he had used while he was Nyx Avatar.

Nyx carefully took it, “thank you, Ryoji.”

Ryoji nodded, facing Minato again, “we’ll be back.”

Minato smiled softly, “and we’ll be watching over you two.”

#Persona 3 #persona 3 reload #Persona AU #Decaying Godhood #P3R spoilers #Another short chapter... But this one has some fun moments (●'◡'●) #P3 The Answer spoilers #????? #Erebus is mentioned once but still

[secondsonaym]

Star sighed, head still swimming from the surge of adrenaline and fear. She hadn't been injured--At least, not as badly as Narinder--but she still felt so tired.

"As much as looking for Stolas would be the right choice... We have no idea where Fox sent him, and we're in no condition to be facing any more obstacles." she concluded.

"I suppose you have a point there." Ratau murmured, glancing over at Deckard, who still lay unconscious. "We need to figure out what to do when they wake up, after all."

"If you could find something to restrain them, that would be good." Star suggested. "There's got to be something around here."

Ratau opened his mouth, as if to give a protest, but then closed it, looking to Narinder. Though Star had been ready to kill him earlier that day... Perhaps he could leave them alone for just a little bit.

Excusing himself, he got to his feet, walking off to try and find something that would suit their needs.

It was Star's turn to look at Narinder, and when she did, she let out a small sigh. He was hunched over, trying to make himself as small as possible. Though he was attempting to mask his pained expression, it was a complete failure. He looked like he was going to keel over any second.

Star didn't know what kind of resilience his former godhood had granted him, but she was surprised he was still conscious at this point. Anyone else would have passed out and perhaps even died by now.

But she had an idea. It wouldn't be a perfect solution, but...

The brazenness of her request was enough to grant Narinder some energy, as he sat up straight and stared at her, flabbergasted.

"I said don't be weird about it!" She insisted, ignoring her own flushed face. "I just want to see your wounds, okay?"

Narinder stared at her for a while longer, face twisting as he tried to decipher what ulterior motive she could have. This didn't seem like any earlier scheme of hers, so perhaps...

"Fine." He managed, reaching up to undo the collar and pulling the fleece off of his shoulders, allowing her a better view of the damage.

Star winced. Though a good deal of blood had been absorbed by the fleece, more had stained his fur. Any longer, and the entire area around the wounds would be horrifically matted.

But she didn't have time to fret over any of that. Instinct was now guiding her and she carefully leaned in, gently placing a finger on the first stab wound.

She could feel Narinder tense up and attempt to slow his breathing at her touch. Perhaps earlier this kind of thing would have amused her but now wasn't the time. The power of the crown gave her a sense of what she needed to do.

Rather than focus her energy on the wound itself, she reached further, into the threshold of life and death itself. She could sense it, Narinder's soul. It wavered just on the edge, trembling as if one strong gust would send it flying into oblivion.

Well, she wasn't going to let that happen. She closed her eyes, and a soft red glow shone on her hand, covering the wound. She took hold of the edges of Narinder's soul, gently pulling it back little by little.

From an outsider's perspective, it would look like she was merely healing him with bright red light. But something entirely different was happening beneath the surface, something only she could see and sense. Such was the power of the Red Crown.

All Narinder could do was stare incredulously, watching before his eyes as his wound began to shrink. Steadily, the blood flow decreased, and the wound soon became nothing more than a shallow scrape.

Not pausing, Star moved to the next wound, repeating the process, red glow and all. It was slow--She had to be careful handling a soul so close to the edge--but her determination kept her steady.

Finally came the wound on his arm, she just needed to--

"Star." Narinder cut in, setting his good hand on her shoulder, snapping her to attention. "Stop."

"Wha--But I'm almost--"

"You look terrible."

And then she realized just how exhausted she felt. She almost fell over into Narinder, but he managed to catch her, steadying her.

"You've never used that much power before. You're not used to it." He explained when he noticed her uneasy confusion. "But... What you did was good. I feel much better, and I think I'll survive."

Star sighed, relieved to hear at least that much. She would have liked to focus on his arm, as that looked much more ghastly, but at least with the severity of the stab wounds lessened, he wasn't in immediate danger anymore.

"Though... I can't say I've ever done something like that myself." He admitted once she was able to sit straight on her own.

"Huh?" Was all she could manage.

"Using the powers of death... To heal." He explained as he put the fleece back on over his shoulders. "It's contradictory at its core."

"I don't know what to tell you." She mumbled with a shrug. "I sensed your soul, and then I coaxed it back. So it resulted in your wounds becoming less... Life-threatening."

"I suppose that makes sense." Narinder mumbled. "I likely would have just waited until somebody was dead, then brought them back. But your application is... Good."

Star stared at him for a moment, before realizing what he was likely referring to.

After all, before setting out on this mission, she had wanted him dead. Each of them had saved the other during the fight, and now she had just brought him back from the brink of death.

It was probably best that they talked about it sooner rather than later...

#usurper au #ch3 #starwatcher berserk #ratau #narinder #deckard berserk #blood cw

[minthe-lover]

Persephone activism

So I the only who kinda doesn't like how Persephone activism is represented, along with the shades. Persephone activism seems to be focusing on the smaller things and now you know the big problem that shades are literal slaves. Along with how shades are all treated as more of a mindless horde most of the time.

Persephone activism is mainly about vaguely giving shades a 'better afterlife'. It feels really empty when most of the ideas she brings up are the most lukewarm "capitalism and torture are bad" takes possible... which isn't fully bad but it really doesn't have any depth to it.

Plus her activism looses most weight behind it when Persephone main argument about how this is bad is undercut by a romantic moment with a slave owner.

This is really as far are her argument goes, that shades should not be punished for being poor and it does not matter if it is tradition or not.

That along with the fact that Persephone is the only one who seems to care about the shades... but also never has an actual conversation with them. Every time Persephone interacts with the shades they are shown as a violent and in a mob.

It sucks cause their supposedly a big part of the story as Persephone wanting to improve the underworld is one of her main motivations besides being with Hades.

There isn't a shades that like.. actually qualifies as a character, most are just one of views. Like imagine if Persephone headed to the river and ended up meeting one of the human she killed, slowly forming a friendship with the shade before the shade forgiving her for what happened.

That way her mass murder would feel more.. like a thing, The consequences of it are mainly towards Persephone and Demeter. We rarely see how it negativity effected the shades, even to the point where when Hermes came to collect the shades... they weren't upset or even scared.. it really hard to view that as an actual bad thing in story when the biggest emotional problem from it is that Persephone is sad.

Also having Persephone be friends with a shade would help fix the other big problem, which is something that is a problem with alot of 'activist' character. Where the character is supposedly standing up for a group of people they know very little about how they actually feel about said problem.

Like maybe it's cause I've been watching good place/boJack horseman/land of the lustrous over for the 80th time.. but I can't help but wish there was some more moral complexity or nuances to it. The story is so black and white, the solution to the social problems brought up in the story is basically just let Persephone grow some plants and stop torturing shades.

What if this story had a greater focus on this... what if Persephone actually had a personal relationship with the shades. Then Persephone during the trial ark gives up her godhood for the punishment... and then becomes a shade.

Imagine a dramatic scene, her shades is standing over her dead body as Hermes comes to take her to the underworld. She isn't scared and is dead serious demanding to be brought to hades. Once there she has this huge debate that ends with her demanding better treatment for the shades. Giving an ultimatum that if he actually loves and care for her opinion he'll treat the shades better or else he'll have to put his own lover through said treatment.

Like... I know their is no myth really like that.. but... I kinda like the idea. I find that Persephone is often a to passive of a main character.

#anti lo #lo critical #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical

[heavenlyeros]

All this recent lore seemingly pointing us to draw the connection between Umun’arath’s corruption and Saladin slowly falling to the darkness himself is driving me crazy. Is Xivu Arath whispering dark temptations to our favourite angry warmonger? We don’t know, but it sure seems like it. And then, of course, we have the emotional rollercoaster that Osiris has been going through. Naturally, I can’t help but look (respectfully) at these two arrogant and extremely competent men 👀 They have both spent a very long time with only themselves, and they are both acutely aware that they are good, so it’s no surprise they’ve built fortresses around themselves - and blinded themselves in the process, too. It’s been exciting and terrifying hearing these two grow to respect each other over the past few weeks, but while Crow sways Amanda to acceptance... I was not quite expecting Osiris to be swayed to Saladin’s views. He was always quite firmly in the middle, for what’s logical for the greater good if nothing else, and it makes sense, but it hurts. And that exchange where Osiris confirms his support were Saladin to split from the Vanguard and go against their wishes? Sign me the f up.

I wrote a thing about this, of course: my interpretation of what’s been going on in Osiris’ brilliant, idiotic bird brain. Warnings for angsty O14, Sagira, and general sadness. This is only how I see it (hint hint please come scream about lore with me whether you think the same or different), shaped in part by some amazing lore people in the community (check out r/destinylore and also tumblr user homosiris’ essay on Osiris if you haven’t because dayum, that’s some good shit that echoes my angsty feelings just right): 

Picture this: you wake up one day from your forever-slumber with no memory of who you were before. The little drone who appears to have brought you back - your ghost - explains that the Traveller has gifted you with Light. You have infinite questions. You might not precisely remember the world you came from, but you know it has changed. Everywhere you go is a battle: the hive, the fallen, even your own kind - war lords versus iron lords. You find out that not many were given this gift. There is no other logical option, of course, but to keep fighting these battles to protect those who cannot. You don't understand, but every day answers a new question, and you have faith that the machine god in the sky must have chosen you for a reason. Years pass, outright wars, the weight of leadership. Your questions take different shape. Reason chips away at blind faith. You realise, one day, that the only gift your people have been given is the gift of war - that the Light's gift for you was to be a warrior. Endlessly. Your questions make others uncomfortable. Eventually you are exiled. Your student, your colleagues, your friends - they don't stick up for you. But you've been bearing the gift of dying to protect others forever. You must carry on. And despite all of your doubts and all of your anger, the Traveller's shackles, your ghost, your little light - she sticks by you. She never stops supporting you. She is your dearest friend. The two of you spend what feels like an eternity in the corridors of time. Not lost, but always searching. You make echoes, countless reflections of yourself, but for centuries upon centuries the only voices you ever hear are Sagira's, and your own. No one reaches out. They did not listen before, and they will not now. You carry on fighting in your isolation, forever seeking an answer to the most frightening of questions - how do you stop the end of everything you hold dear, the annihilation of your people? The few who paid some mind to your so called "prophecies" are little more than fanatics. It lends you little credibility. You are not only an exile, you are a pariah; you are alone and that extends beyond the simulated limitlessness of the infinite forest. You would not admit to it, but you are lonely, too. Time changes you. Confined within these confluxes, doubt takes roots, and you realise your mistakes. No one ever came to apologise to you. But more painfully than that - you have no one to apologise to. Would they give you the chance, if you were to return? Would they even be there at all? Or would everything you failed to prevent have crushed them into nothingness? You must fight on. Time also makes you powerful. You were always amongst the very best, but in the forest you hone your skills into the closest thing your kind has had to godhood. If nothing else, you have faith in yourself. If no one else, you will prevail. Something changes, one day. In the blink of an eye you are lost in the inevitability of the vex's machinations. You lose Sagira, too, for her own good, maybe for good. No matter; you must fight on, you must continue in your mission before the calamity has time to sink in. But another Guardian shows up. They carry the fight where you couldn't. They bring with them Ikora, too, and she seems willing to listen. She invites you to come back - come home. But what you did get back was your little light, and a million more timelines to explore, infinite new questions, and you know there will be no place for you in the City that threw you out. You have become invincible, and with that invincibility comes the wisdom of knowing where you cannot take another blow. You have spent eternity preventing untold histories repeating outside the realm of your control. You have grown skilled at not repeating history. Amongst the people who left you behind - whom you left behind, a little voice that might not always be Sagira's nags in the back of your mind - was the one that you loved most. You would never say, you would never risk it. So when you find out that he did not abandon you at all, but has come on a crusade to get you back -- you don't know what to feel. Joy. Horror. Love. Fear. Only, you don't know what you fear most. And suddenly it feels like your whole life's work has come to exactly this moment. It is now your turn to get him back. It strikes you, all at once, the suffocating loneliness you have endured. The tether to your sanity that was your clear purpose. It terrifies you, the hurt Saint has been subjected to. It terrifies you, too, the purpose that has kept him fighting. You don't know what to make of it. But in the end, you don't have to. You don't succeed. You wouldn't ever let your countless failings eat at you, but this failure is like a dagger through your chest. It is the Guardian, once again, who recovers Saint. Time is funny and cunning like that. You know where to find him. You know you would be welcome back, too, but time has made you see open arms as little more than a cage, a trap waiting to close in on your lungs and crush them. The guilt, most of all, cannot be reasoned with. Saint is good. Saint represents every ounce of Light you wouldn't believe in but cannot help still having faith in, even after all this time. Saint would not see in you the hate that you do. You cannot put him through that. Saint deserves the world, and even in your egotistical confidence you know that you are not it. So you must fight on. For the world that Saint deserves. Sagira, of course, is as always by your side. You don't know how it happens. One moment you are a fury of light in its every shape, and the next you are alone. Truly alone. You had accepted time has finally come for you. You were ready to die. Not... not this. But you must carry on fighting. You have nothing else left. It is once again the Guardian who saves you - this time because you asked. Not to save yourself, but to avenge her. Days and weeks and months pass and all you can do is drown in the fight. You must do it for those you love, so you do not lose any more, even if they will not have you back. The fight takes a different form now, but it is still a fight. You are confined to the City. The place that exiled you, now become prison. All because you dared ask the questions that terrified them! And you paid dearly for it. You are heartbroken and tired and underneath it all you are angry - an anger that bubbles pleasantly to overtake all of the pain. You must not give in to it. You are invincible. This, too, time will heal. So you tell yourself you fight because of love. Your love for the people, your love for this prison-City, your love for Saint. You catch glimpses of people looking at you with pity and it fills you with rage. You cannot escape this anger. It keeps you fighting because you are so, so exhausted, and there is no place for you to rest your head. You have made your loneliness into a way of life. You do not need their pity. You will prevail, as you always have. Sagira might be gone, but you will learn to carry on. You always have, you will prevail. You will fight for those who are hurt - you will not fight just to hurt those who hurt you. That is how it's meant to be. And you are always right. You are the Vanguard Commander's advisor now. It feels like a mockery - the mighty phoenix, now little more than a flightless canary in a gilded cage. You remind yourself these people care about you. That after all this time, and after all of your perceived wrongs, they have taken you back. You remind yourself it is them you fight for, any way you can. It is a slow road back up now that you cannot fly, but you will make it out. You will come out soaring. Victorious. You know it is true; you are always right. You work alongside Lord Saladin. He carries the same exhaustion you are all too familiar with less gracefully than you do. You see him be consumed by countless traumas, you see him for what he is - a shellshocked veteran flailing in resemblance of fight, clinging desperately to a place he used to have in a world that has moved on. He doesn't sleep, doesn't care for himself, his living quarters are a mess. You almost pity him, but you have to stop yourself to laugh at just how similar you are. Saladin is past forgiving. Saladin is past compromise. He has let the hate consume him, make him blind - but in his anger you see him come alive with a fire you know you shall never again harness. Perhaps Saladin is right. Perhaps you were wrong. Perhaps the only way to not give up is to give in.

#destiny the game #season of the chosen #destiny 2 #lord saladin #osiris #destiny osiris #destiny #i have a lot of feelings and all of them hurt #if there is an ounce of potential for angst and pain in something you bet i will latch onto it like the hungriest monke #these two angry assholes? yes #i could have had something wholesome but no #give me the idiots #someone needs to slap some sense into them #at first i hoped osiris would slap some sense into saladin #and honestly? he is well known for playing the long game #he might not be the wisest but he is smart and a good strategist #so maybe this is all just a ploy for osiris to do exactly that #osiris has a voice line i think in presage about saint saying hello #he is not an island #he has a support group #i just really don't think he's actually accepted that whatsoever #maybe he will #or maybe he'll fuck up again he's good at that #tell a man you don't agree with him once and he will go fight literal god all by himself #anyway yes #p a i n o c l o c k

[eternallysarcastic]

winter moon/ch.1

Helloooo, I finally decided to post my little Xiao fic that I’ve been thinking about for a really long time. I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is appreciated.

Title is from Erutan - Winter Moon 

   You were slowly assembling the lantern, nimble fingers gently folding the paper, careful not to smudge the small writing on it. Sitting on your knees on top of one of the tall mountains on the edge of Liyue Harbour you let the lantern fly up in the air, joining the hundreds of small lights.

 You sighed as you watched the beautiful scenery, feeling the nostalgia and sadness creeping up your throat. You put your hands together as if to pray, to whom you weren’t sure but you hoped there would be someone higher than a God, than an Archon, hearing your prayers.  

 But you knew there was no one, no one was more powerful than an Archon. 

 Except yourself. 

And yet here you were, the God of all gods, praying for someone else to come and help you. Pathetic.

But you were desperate for someone to hear your wish, to rescue you and so you stayed all night, praying until you could barely feel your legs.

If you didn’t know better, you would have already confronted the man who had watched you the whole night from a distance far off in the forest of mountains. You could feel his wariness and his disdain, for what, you didn’t know. You had already felt the fact that he was no mortal, waves of condensed, rippling power coming from his direction miles away.

Once the sun rose, so did you. Supporting yourself on a nearby rock wall, you allowed your weak legs to gain circulation back to them and dusted off your white attire. You had a long day ahead.

Knocking on the funeral parlour door, you were surprised to be greeted by a short girl with brown hair and red eyes.  

“Welcome, welcome! My name is Hu Tao and I am here to provide you with our funeral services! How may I assist you?” She spoke in a high and excited voice. She seemed a little too hyper to be working for a funeral parlour but to be fair, in all your years of life, it wasn’t the most peculiar thing you’ve seen.

“Uhm...” You were unsure how to continue. “I am looking for someone actually.”

“Oooh? And who may that be?” Her eyes lit up with curiosity. She reminded you of a small child.

But you weren't sure who exactly you were looking for. You haven't seen him in 3000 years, you didn’t know what form he might've taken this time. If it was even a ‘he’, but the stars had led you here and you trusted them more than you trusted anything else.

You had to guess. “A man?”  

The girl, Hu Tao, pouted and crossed her arms childishly. “Everyone’s always looking for Zhongli and never me! Hmph!” You smiled sheepishly at her cute display of annoyance as she stepped aside to let you in.

The parlour wasn’t anything extravagant but you could see it was doing well enough to have all kinds of commodities. You stepped into a giant room with a long table in the middle, and as your eyes followed the length of it, at the head of it you saw a man.

He was sipping his tea, eyes closed and demeanour calm but as soon as his eyes opened, you knew. It was him.

The second you stepped into the room his golden eyes had snapped open and landed on you. He studied you for a second before those same gorgeous eyes widened. The sudden pressure in the room made the eccentric girl beside you obviously uncomfortable.

“I-I guess I’ll leave you two here to talk things out,” she said and she exited the room with hurried steps.

“You...” He seemed to not be able to form any further words and his eyes had filled with the foreign feeling you had recognized as hope. “You’re alive?”

“Have been for some time,” you chuckled and scratched the back of your neck uncomfortably; you really didn’t want to talk about it. “how have you been, Rex Lapis?”

That seemed to take him out of his stupor as he regained his usual calm demeanour, even though his eyes would still not leave your form as if you’d vanish into thin air at any moment.

“It’s Zhongli now,” he cleared his throat “Rex Lapis is no more.” He said and pulled out a chair for you to sit, “but you knew I hadn’t actually passed away did you, neither Gods nor Archons could ever escape your sight.”

“Isn’t that my job anyway? To be an observer and a protector-”, you laughed softly “or at least it was at one point in time. However, that’s not why I'm here, Rex L-, sorry, Zhongli. I need your help.”

“I am glad to offer my help, anyway I can, but you must know – my power is not what it used to be,” he said solemnly.

“What? Why? I knew something must be wrong as soon as I heard about your death but at the same time your constellation stayed as bright as ever.”

“I made a deal with the Tsaritsa. I gave her my gnosis,” he said as calm as ever. As if he didn’t just say he gave away the most precious thing to an Archon. You’d be furious if it wasn’t Rex Lapis himself, the god you’d known for over 4000 years and knew he’d never do anything irrational without having thought it out.

So as calm as he himself was, you asked simply. “Why?”

“Liyue’s protection and its people are my first priority. You might have heard already that the Tsaritsa is planning a revolution, a war against Celestia itself. It would be no easy feat and it will require sacrifice – I cannot allow my people to be that sacrifice,” he sipped his tea. “You must also be careful, as a God born from Celestia itself, once it’s destroyed so will your powers fade.”

“I know, that is why I looked for you. I need to find someone before that happens, my powers are only enough to point me in a vague direction but ever since that night 3000 years ago, they’re a quarter from what they used to be, I am not strong enough.” You sighed and held your hands in a fist over your weakness. Because of that fateful night 3 millennia ago, you were now reduced to begging for help – something your pride didn’t allow you to.

It was quiet for a few moments and you could feel his gaze on you. “I’d ask you what happened but I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it.”

You breathed out in relief, “Thank you, Zhongli.”

“I may not be able to help out much. Ever since I gave away my gnosis my powers have also waned, I haven’t had enough time for them to recover. However I know who can.” He seemed to have finished his tea and stood up from his chair.

Looking at him fully now, you could see the similarities of his stature and face to the one you remembered 4000 years ago. You knew he probably never meant to go back to godhood ever again, but he seemed happy where he was and that relieved you more than you thought it would.

“Shall we go, little lady.” He outstretched his elbow for you to take and laughed softly the moment he noticed your annoyed expression.

“I’ve told you a million times not to call me that!”

The full moon was high in the sky when you crossed a wooden bridge and could finally see the giant tree – hotel hybrid up close. It looked much bigger than you had thought it would at first. It’s height intimidating against the moonlit night sky. You and Zhongli used the elevator and got to the top floor.

“You can see every point in Liyue from here!” you exclaimed excitedly, leaning over the ledge of the balcony.

When you had entered a lady at the front desk had only nodded at you and Zhongli wordlessly, letting you through. You figured this was a place Zhongli frequented often. The view was as beautiful as you thought it would be, the gentle light of the moon covering everything in a beautiful silver colour.

“Rex Lapis, what may I do for you?” You heard a deep voice from behind you, turning around in time to see the boy bowing at Zhongli.

Your eyes met his golden ones and time seemed to stop for a moment. You felt pressure constricting your lungs and an unfamiliar feeling building in your chest. You didn’t understand what was happening, you weren’t even able to think, your head felt lightweight and heavy at the same time. There was a tiny ache right where your heart was supposed to be.

Yet, he also stood there, those golden eyes wide in surprise and something else you couldn’t recognise. His fingers twitched once, then twice as if hesitating before he slowly outstretched his hand towards you.  

That seemed to wake you up from your state and as if you had just jolted awake you shook your head to get rid of that weird feeling that had made every hair on your body stand on end.

“I-I’m sorry, have I met you before?” You asked him quietly, eyebrows creased.

His outstretched hand stopped in its tracks before it fell down lifelessly by his side. His golden irises clouded with confusion for a split second before his expression turned blank, as if that whole exchange hadn’t even happened in the first place.

He turned away from you and towards Zhongli with his arms crossed against his chest. “No, we have not.”  

It was like a lightbulb went off in your head. He was the person who had watched you for the whole night praying during the Lantern Festival! That must be it. You had felt his irritation at you from miles away, so this must be it. You had done something to disrespect him surely.

You had almost forgotten Zhongli was even here before he cleared his throat to get your attention, having watched the whole display in front of him with eyes filled with confusion. You could feel the cogs in his brain turning, thinking, analysing.

“Let me introduce you then. This is Xiao, the guardian Yaksha of Liyue and one of my trusted adepti and Xiao,” he turned to gesture at you “this is one of the celestial Gods, Goddess of the Moon.”

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader #zhongli #hu tao #reader insert #winter moon

[cotillion-the-rope]

Shade Lord Ghost Drabbles: You Make the Words Sound Pretty

"I'd love to see Ghost find something about godhood they like!"

~

Finding Ghost was easier than ever now that they were a much more imposing figure. They were at the Howling Cliffs, standing at the highest point overlooking the beginning of the barren wastelands. Hornet had meant to just check up on them, out of habit and curiosity about what they were up to but before she could start back for Dirtmouth, they turned their head to look at her.

“Hello.”

Now that she’d been spotted it be awkward to leave, wouldn’t it? So instead she sighed before approaching instead. “Hello, Ghost.” She’d dubbed them ‘Little Ghost’ in reference to their stature and role they played in Hallownest’s past. It was time to officially drop the ‘Little’ though as it no longer fit. “What are you doing out here?”

“Nothing.” They turned their head to look back over the cliff.

Grimmchild was here too, unsurprisingly. He was curled up asleep on the ground next to Ghost. Hornet sat a short distance away from him, dangling her legs over the edge. Up here the ‘howling’ that gave the cliffs their name was audible but not loud enough to be disruptive. The view was nothing special, just a whole lot of barren nothingness and dust clouds pushed around by the winds. A rather bleak place to hang out and not what she’d had expected from Ghost.

How much did she really know them though? … Not well. She’d followed them, keeping an eye on them throughout their travels in Hallownest and had fought them twice but they’d had only one real conversation so far, right after they’d become a god a few days ago. It was probably time to change that, huh? What to talk about though? She wasn’t a conversationalist. … Hmmm…

“What’s it like being a god?” There that was a good ‘get to know them’ question, right?

They were silent for a few second before replying. “Boring.”

Hornet never would’ve thought anyone would respond to such a question like that. Most bugs would’ve loved the power that came from ascension, apparently not Ghost though. So… “Why do you say that?”

“There’s nothing more to do here. Nothing more to see.”

“Are you thinking about leaving?”

They shrugged before tilting their head to look down at her. “What are gods supposed to do?”

“Rule over their worshippers and followers and do stuff for them. Hallownest is essentially yours now.” And Hornet was happy to let them have it. She’d been protecting it by herself for far too long.

“I don’t want to rule.” They sounded annoyed as they turned their gaze back out over the wasteland. That might actually be good for the kingdom and whatever was going to become of it. Though it was too early to tell if so yet.

“What do you want then?”

They shrugged again.

“I understand.” She’d have perhaps offered advice if she wasn’t experiencing the same feelings. She had no idea what to do next or even really what she wanted next. How long she’d been serving as Hallownest’s lone protector was impossible to know but it had been a long time. Long enough that she’d long since stopped daydreaming about what she would when it was over.

“But it’s not all bad though.” Ghost turned their head to look at her again. “I saved everyone and I can talk now. It was worth it. … But I’m bad at talking. It’s hard. Can you teach me?”

“‘Teach you’? Why do you want me to teach you?”

“You’re good at talking. You make the words sound pretty.”

Well that was certainly the first time anyone had ever said that to or about Hornet. Conversing was not something she was good at. Though perhaps in comparison to Ghost who’d lived their entire long life unable to speak until very recently she could be considered decent at it. Still though… “It’s not something that can be taught. You just have to practice.”

“How should I practice?”

“By having more conversations.”

“Like this one?”

“Yes, like this one.”

Ghost nodded. “Okay. I will have more conversations. We should have more conversations.”

“Yeah. We should, huh?” That would probably be good for both of them.

#my writing #hollow knight #shade lord #shade lord ghost #hornet

[emmavoid]

In which I go back over episodes 1-5 of Serial Experiments Lain in order to collect my thoughts on them before continuing on to a liveblog proper!

(this was done at butt-o-clock in the morning don't @ me for rambling/misspelling/etc)

Episode 1-

Lain’s shadow, and the shadows near her house, have an intensely weird pattern to them- like there's something hiding deeper within those shadows than any other shadows

The focus on humming powerlines, Lain’s asking them to be quiet- something/someone is trying to communicate with her, even this early on

The steam that comes from Lain’s fingers- at first I thought it was an intense imagination, but it felt similar to the steam coming from her computer in later episodes- another early sign that she’s already in the Wired

“Why did you die?” “God is here.” the first mention of god in the show

As a whole Lain’s family seems off; her parents weirdly robotic, inhuman- almost monstrous in their appearances, and her sister distant; lain did not know them well, and so these simulations of them suffer

When another student dies by jumping in front of the transit train, lain has a strange experience of “viewing” the student’s death while surrounded by fog. I originally thought this was more of her powerful imagination, but having since connected the “fog” or steam to computers, i think this was her simulating the event over again in an attempt to cope with her very human feelings

“Come to the Wired as soon as you can.” More communications from “the universe” to Lain

Episode 2-

the night scene at the beginning of each episode has been, mostly, a repetition of itself, with more communications; however, with Lain not present for most of them, who are they directed towards?

The girl in the nightclub Cyberia- looking at her again on a re-view, she does seem similar to Lain, but wears earrings- something I’ve noticed the “digital” Lain in the opening has that differentiates her from the more innocent, child-like, human Lain.

The explanation of Accel cuts to Lain in class- with the camera specifically focusing on her ear. It seems as if, throughout the show, she’s learning certain information without seeking it out.

The first appearance of the digital ghosts, like what would become of the “fake” version of Lain’s sister in a later episode, plus the figure she “imagined” after the train slow-down.

The man with the gun high on Accel- a test for human-Lain? She freezes, drawing his ire, but when he recognizes her as the Other Lain and points his gun at her, she speaks in a different voice- possibly the Other Lain’s? Possibly… a God-Lain’s voice. The man kills himself as if controlled by an outside force, and Lain appears shocked. I think that God-Lain- the one who has been communicating with Lain all this time- took over to ensure that Lain’s failure of this test wouldn’t lead to her death (or possibly, to interrupting her growth and forcing some kind of reset?)

Episode 3-

After the events of last episode, Lain is shaken- she can barely respond to Arisu. When she returns home, her family is nowhere to be seen- possibly because them existing during all of what happened would be detrimental to her growth? But when she falls asleep at her computer then checks on her family again… their presence or absence isn’t shown.

Another case of information about something strange- this time the Psyche- with a focus on Lain’s ear; again, picking up some kind of information.

“We saw someone die right in front of us yesterday, but we’re acting like it’s something we saw in a movie.” lain's friends are the most fleshed out "people" in the simulation because she knew them the best- and that's why none of them could react properly to the murder in that club, because Lain had never experienced what their reactions would really be like to something traumatic like that.

Lain’s Psyche shows up in her locker- perhaps put there by God-Lain?

The first mention of The Knights, who may have created the Psyche. Are they possibly a front for God-Lain?

Lain’s father attempts to leave immediately when she shows him the Psyche- further evidence that he can only react how he’s “programmed” to? The guy in the club who recognizes Lain- God-Lain has definitely been visiting here regularly.

“I saw you once, in the Wired. You were totally different.” God-Lain doesn’t seem to mind folks knowing about her. Is she leaving hints towards her existence for Lain on purpose?

Lain’s sister is definitely more fleshed out than her parents- when the Agents at the door try to tell her to ignore them she seems properly weirded out

Episode 4-

The origin of my connecting steam/fog to computing power- lain has a fan set up to directly cool part of her computer, releasing steam/condensation

Lain’s parents continue to have strange, robotic responses, but her sister seems genuinely concerned for her.

The main “plot” of this episode- the crossing over of the two net games- seems mostly unrelated to Lain? But it does seem to be causing suicides and murders, showing direct interaction between the Wired and the “real” world

I love the speed with which Lain is acclimating to computers and the Wired- contacting a professional for assistance with the Psyche is a great detail

The more adult-seeming Lain- so, possibly, God-Lain- appears to ask the DJ at the club about the game. But, she’s not there when he looks, and after that scene Lain has suddenly learned about and downloaded the game in question. Was it maybe Human-Lain tapping into her latent god powers to learn this information from him?

A Lain travels through the net game, and seems to try to contact a fleeing player. “I can’t go where you are.” The voice sounds much more like Human-Lain? Then the player encounters a child and kills her- seemingly in-game, but then one or more corpses can be seen wrapped in sheets afterwards as Lain watches. Highly unlikely that this guy had a real gun IRL- especially in Japan- so this seems to be more Wired/IRL fuckery.

“My buddies and I think this might be the work of the Knights too.” A point against my theory of the Knights being God-Lain?

“I’ll be able to enter it soon. … Don’t worry, I’m still me.” “Sometimes, I wonder…” Yeah, there’s no way this is a real reaction her real father would have.

“The Knights do not physically exist. They can be thought of as a religion that is spreading through the Wired.” And then this quote feels like another point towards my God-Lain theory!

the two men who were spying on lain... I think might've been actual outside agents given representation so that human-Lain would have the chance to deal with them- which, she did, by tapping into her god-powers to destroy their spy-glasses (which, when she did, caused her computer's fans to go into overdrive to keep it cooled)

Episode 5-

Lain hears directly from a being calling itself God, before the episode jumps to focusing on her sister for most of the episode.

This episode felt like it was jossing my theory- how could this whole reality be for Lain’s benefit if her sister was experiencing strange stuff?

“There is nothing that you don’t know. I can’t tell you a story that doesn’t exist.” On some level, Lain is both God-Lain and Human-Lain. These conversations with the doll, the mask, then fakes of her parents throughout the episode, seem to be more of Lain learning without personally experiencing- being fed information by her other self.

“The other side is overcrowded. The dead will have nowhere to go.” Isn’t this straight up a quote from one of the Romero zombie flicks?

All the talk of prophecy and “fulfill the prophecy”... Lain seems to be on a set path towards entering the Wired, which is part of why it seems like this is just her reliving an approximation of something that already happened.

A connection between the Knights and The Prophecy. The fake of Lain’s sister isn’t the only one to encounter word of the prophecy, since we hear about it from Lain’s friends as well

Hmm… I hadn’t thought of it before, but, mayhaps the fake of Lain’s sister doesn’t show until the strange holo-effects of her water at dinner? None of the really weird stuff happens to her until after… maybe this was a copy of her then, made during that moment before being pushed into this prophecy-horror scenario?

The Lain’s Sister who enters the house crying then sees herself disappears- or, it seems she does, until Lain sees a digital ghost of her, like she had previously seen in the school… after seeming to see this other self of hers, the real Lain’s sister seems… robotic and nonchalant. Was she a full, real person before this happened?

Theory Overall thus far-

my theory thus far is that lain's already living in the wired, and is, in fact, a god there- she is both Lain and The Knights; but, the more human part of her, Lain, is reliving her pre-wired memories with slight alterations in order to help her get to the point where she can accept her godhood.

the opening of the show ties into my theory too- that god-Lain (portrayed in the intro with earrings) is spread throughout the world, controlling everything, while human-Lain (in her much more childish outfit) is just experiencing and trying to understand the world

Things that were pointed out to me-

Arisu’s name is a romanization of Alice (referencing Alice in Wonderland)

Be inc and Copland being old computer companies

#serial experiments lain #lain #blind liveblogging #summary #i'm bad at tags #whoops #Spoilers #Lain spoilers

[thatonerandomfangirlwhoreads]

Tower of Nero Spoilers/Rant!! (Part 7)

Okay...in this post I think I’d better cover the things I liked and disliked about the last book. Before I start with that I just have to say it’s an overall amazing book and is definitely going to be the best thing about 2020!! Y’all should read the book. Moving on.....

Things I just loved about the book

 I absolutely adored the Solangelo content in this book. That goes without saying.

The book also has some amazing callbacks to the original Percy Jackson series, which needless to say was AMAZING!! We see the Grey Sisters and the Chariot of Damnation again. We see Rachel hit an enemy monster in the with...a blue plastic hairbrush.

I love how Uncle Rick has written the book so that it is still full of humor, while also addressing very serious changes in Apollo’s character.

It was incredible to see so much character development in the characters that have an actual role in the book. We get to see exactly how much Apollo, Meg, Nico, Will and Rachel have grown since we first met them.

A lot of characters we previously hated have been redeemed.  We may not exactly like them now, but we certainly understand them a little better. I know many people were psyched to see Mr. D giving Nico therapy and advice on his mental health, but the last scene which has Mr. D in it is even more precious. Apollo regains his godhood and visits Camp once more, there he offers words of consolation to Mr. D because he’d detested his mortal form for the six months he was stuck in it and he can understand Mr. D’s pain because he’s been cursed to stay in this form for a whole hundred years. His bitterness may not have been warranted but at least now it’s understandable.

Now another divine being we hate with all the fiery passion of a thousand suns is...Hera. Hera has only two scenes in the entire book, but both of them are extremely important. In the first, Hera seems to have been crying for some unknown reason and  she chides the other Olympians for talking about Apollo as if he’s already dead. In the second she’s seen mourning Jason’s death, this gives us an impression that she may not be totally heartless. In the same scene she is also seen defending Apollo to Zeus. Apollo says that he may never love his stepmother but now he can see things from her point of view. He can understand her pain. She doesn’t live an easy life, given the fact she’s married to Zeus. This helps in her character redemption (sort of).

In this point you’ll have to excuse me for some of my slightly unconventional views. I think Rick Riordan is sending out a very important message to children of this day and age. The male protagonist and his female counterpart can certainly love each other and still feel absolutely no romantic attraction towards each other. It is very nice to see that authors are highlighting the fact that there are many kinds of love. 

The last thing I loved is the very emotional last line, which wrapped the entire 15 book story arch pretty well. The last line consisted of just 9 very simple words but had something of a lasting effect. In the last line Apollo says, “Call on me. I will be there for you.”

Things I didn’t love too much about the book 

No Annabeth action!! Annabeth does have a short cameo scene in the end of the book, but she doesn’t actually do anything to affect the storyline of the book.

Meg doesn’t get to meet her mom in the ultimate adventure of The Trials Of Apollo. We do know that she wants to meet her mom, because she asks about her in The Burning Maze, but unfortunately she doesn’t. She might, in the future but I guess we won’t know anytime soon.

It was also kind of sad that readers didn’t get to see a final “endgame” moment because that would have been great. It would have made us ecstatic to see the Demigods of Prophecy, Lavinia, Grover, Calypso, The Waystation Women, Rachel, Nico and Will in one final epic battle. But the cameo scenes where we get to see all of them is great too.

 We don’t get a Solangelo kiss. I know...that’s sad. The only gay kiss we see is between Apollo and Commodus (yikes!), but on the bright side we do get a hint at a Solangelo stand-alone book. So there’s that!!

That’s it!! Do read the book if you haven’t yet.

P.S.: Please feel free to text me in my inbox if you’d like to discuss anything in the whole wide world. I’d absolutely love that!! It could be book related or anything else. You could do an Ask too. And a big thank you to everyone for the support for my last few posts.

#tower of nero spoilers #tower of nero #lester papadopoulos #apollo #meg mcaffery #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #frank zhang #hazel levesque #frazel #leo valdez #calypso #caleo #pjo #hoo #toa

[felassan]

I've been thinking about how Ghilan'nain is amongst the gods that Solas trapped and wondering what she did to be grouped with the rest of them. But according to the lore, she wasn't the same after the hunter incident and maybe her everlasting wound turned her cruel to the point that she made creatures out of cruelty/to be destructive and frightening. I'm curious to see what the DA says too! <3

Hello! This answer is under a cut for length. TN spoilers under cut.

Part of it will be that she was a part of the institution that he was seeking to strike down in order to free the People. After ascending Ghilan’nain was actively part of the problem, a false would-be god at the top of the power structure, in a system where said gods had come to rule over a stratified society and keep slaves. Her included, as there’s Ghilan’nain vallaslin. Part of it will then have been her part in the events that preceded the fall. When Solas talks about what the Evanuris did and why he created the Veil, he talks about them as a group. “They” killed Mythal, and he believes the Evanuris - as a faction, at least - were going to destroy the entire world. It’s interesting - did they all have a direct hand in Mythal’s death, or did only some of them and the rest were indirectly involved, say via conspiring? We only have his side of the story here, but that’s what he says. It’s totally possible he was speaking in generalities (sometimes we’re like “I’m out with my family / the lads / whatever” when not every single member of the mentioned group is actually present) and only some of them were directly and indirectly involved in the murder, but then we’re still left with the power structure problem and the slavery and the peer group destroying the world stuff. And I wonder about her maneuvering against Mythal - the sinner took the form of what’s implied to be a dragon (a creature heavily associated with Mythal) at her urging, and it was then Mythal that he begged protection from. Why did she urge him to do that I wonder? Was it a scheme? A slight, an insult to Mythal? Like ‘Look Mythal, one of the non-gods flies in a divine god-only shape, the one particularly associated with you btw, how disrespectful!,’ something ‘said’ while knowing that when caught it’s Mythal he’d go to to beg protection, kinda rubbing her nose in it? And then ‘oh look everyone, the All-Mother and adjudicator isn’t showing the sinner favor after all, so much for the great protector you think is so great. Maybe she isn’t so great after all’. That undermines and creates a situation where Mythal looks bad.

There’s also what she was doing on the side. Before, she created monsters and dangerous beasts and then slaughtered most of them en-masse in return for apotheosis and more power. If the Pride that stayed her hand when she was going to destroy the sea creatures was Solas, then he had knowledge of those events and knew what her inclinations were. That codex tells us a few things: that Ghilan’nain was just as.. well, Evanurissy, as the rest of the Evanuris in her own way, that she made monstrous terrible things that even the Evanuris considered dangerous and that she was ruthless enough to kill most of her creations in order to obtain godhood, even though she clearly loved some of them. And that was before being one of the Evanuris-proper. The Tevinter Nights prison-ship carvings imply that the things she was experimenting on weren’t simple animals. Livestock animals or lab rat-type animals aren’t transported or kept in “prisons”, people are. Pens or cages would be more animal-appropriate language. Then her research notes have her explaining her process to the “stock” as a courtesy (which is straight up telling a captured human-level-sentient being what you’re going to do to it, we don’t explain anything to our science fair volcanoes or to the lab rats being used in medical research, as they can’t and don’t understand). The “lesser animals” bit implies the things she was working on at the time were higher, complex beings. So from the fragments we have an unethical scientist archtype who performed twisted experiments and made monsters out of people who were prisoners or slaves. Did she stop doing those things after ascension? She could have continued her work in secret, and post-ascension she was in a position of great power and privilege and had a supply of slaves. Could she have been tempted to continue, in that position, with that access? Post-ascension she was also part of the Evanuris group, and whatever the Evanuris were doing, power corrupted and they had a lust for it.

I’m sure there’s a lot more to it as we only have fragments and Solas’ side of things (which has stuff omitted). It’s also hard to say because which parts of the Dalish beliefs nowadays about the gods are true and which parts were a bit misconstrued or evolved over time? They’re a mix. The story of Ghilan’nain and the hunter as we can read it is from the modern Dalish belief system. Parts of it definitely line up with other fragments - she had a connection to Andruil, halla are involved, in the short story focusing on her in TN there are striking similarities between Ghilan’nain being wounded and bound and Warden Friedl, someone affected by Ghilan’nain’s work, gouging out her own eyes and being bound by Ramesh and Lesha. Other parts don’t quite, and the truth is probably somewhere in-between the Dalish belief and the picture ‘painted’ in the Temple of Mythal inscription (whoever created those inscriptions had their own biases, and were likely in the service of Mythal. Mythal’s temple will naturally be full of pro-Mythal information and things reflecting Mythal’s views).

Anyway given her inclinations and Solas’ views on slavery and freedom I can see why. I do like the theory that maybe an encounter like that with a hunter (or was it a “hunter”? It could have been someone specific) influenced how she got started doing that stuff. Like maybe that encounter is why she began keeping herself apart from the People and where she got the idea from? Notes on Methods of Enchantment feel scientifically detached and coolly concerned with the technical aspects and the aim of the work though, so while obviously heinously cruel it feels more like she thought of it as a scientific endeavor done for that purpose (this is the danger of not seeing other people as people but instead seeing them as “stock”) rather than something done for the terrifying sake of it and out of “I specifically actively want to see people suffer”-cruelty. Who knows when they were written though (or even if she even wrote them), she could have come to be that detached over time.

This post is speculative not prescriptive. :)

#dragon age #bioware #mj replies #katie-my-lady #video games #solas #tevinter nights #tevinter nights spoilers #spoiler #spoilers #tevinter nights spoiler

[bun-breaker]

@stolen-godhood

Gonna readmore this for spoilers and length too

Oh nonbinary is absolutely the rabbit hole I would be going down. To me it feels very right for the character

After all, in many ways they would be somewhat reinventing themselves after a major upheaval to their sense of self. Those who are tempered but cured retain no memory of what happened during their time under the influence of a Primal. And Hades would have been under Zodiark's influence for an inordinate amount of time

Their life before they know meticulously. There's no way they would misplace even a moment of that life. But that meticulous attention to memory would leave them with a new dilemma. It's almost certain tempered!Hades crafted another crystal from themselves. Something of a backup plan should the worst come to pass. I.e. they die. Allowing one of the sundered to take up the mantle and work to revive Zodiark. But this leaves the newly freed Hades with the choice between remembering their actions and living free from the shadow of their former master

Much of the Shadowbringer's story deals with the topic of loss. And it is most evident in Hades. Their motivations for their actions are the loss of everything they once held dear. And in the end even what little they have managed to piece back together is lost. To a greater or lesser extent this is exacerbated by the loss of their most trusted confidant, Azem. Who we learn is the WoL from the time of Amaurot. In this meeting Hades perhaps has the best chance to move beyond this loss as they once more realise just how badly they have been needing support that they haven't had. Sure they have Elidibus and Lahabrea. But the former can barely remember why he does what he does and the latter throws himself relentlessly at the task at hand with no pause for respite. Leaving then largely alone to deal with the weight of memory. We even see them coming close to being able to open up about these things near the end of the story. But we are alas robbed of the chance to see it through to the end by a single misstep.

But that's what got me to thinking, what could have come to pass if there had been another chance? I feel like the WoL would take it. Even more so for having learned how Hades preserved her memories despite her forsaking the rest of the Convocation to seek another solution. Especially in my case as my WoL went through the Dark Knight job story. She had the inner struggle between obligation and freedom play in her head and in the flesh. This particular blog deals with Rhaya having come to accept Esteem (renamed to Fray here because I like it better) and form a compromise. Having her around such that they might both find what they need. Setting them up for the Challenge to look deep inside and find Hades wants to be.

Which in the end is still a sarcastic asshole full of dry wit and a love of their own voice. But one no longer driven to view all others as pawns to bring about something better. They've learned to respect the people they once hated and grown from the experience.

And like I pointed out, I feel the WoL is absolutely an inspirational type. One that although has physically changed, hasn't changed in spirit. Which I think would be a bit catalyst for thought for Hades when it comes to rebuilding their sense of self. And potentially finding something new that is right for them.

#spooky yelling (ooc) #shadowbringers spoilers #Spooky got wordy woops

[musashi]

Heya Mu! Sent you an ask a few days ago about infodumping prompts; here's a few just for fun. Answer when you like, no rush! Feel free to use factual lore information, headcanons, or kin stuff as you like. So, I know that Hylia and Din, Farore, and Nayru are all goddesses, but what's their "relationship"? Which came first, and why did Nintendo/the responsible deity (or deities) feel like they had to make a new deity/deities? Hylia created Fi, right? To guide her chosen hero? Did Hylia create any other sword spirits (weird tongue guy notwithstanding, p sure Demise made him), did she create the concept of sword spirits, and what prompted Hylia to give Fi a very analytical-type personality (if she chose at all and if it wasn't Fi's own choice to be like that?) (Apologies for the weird tone on this next one, couldn't figure out the right way to word it) What gives Hylia the right/ability to intervene more in Hyrule's happenings than Din/Nayru/Farore? afaik, the latter trio has a pretty hands-off approach. Are they actually invested in seeing Hyrule flourish or is Hyrule just kind of Hylia's "pet project"? Is Hyrule the only land she cares for, or does she care for other lands that have been touched by her chosen hero/his incarnations as well (Labrynna/Holodrum/Termina/Lorule/etc.)? And, finally, what came first, the loftwing or the egg? Apologies if this is overwhelming, I can break these down into separate asks if you like, I just like the way you write things and give information... Plus it kinda got away from me a bit :P Hope things are going well for you!

OH FUCK YES LETS GOOOOOO THANK YOU I LOVE SHIT LIKE THIS

So, I know that Hylia and Din, Farore, and Nayru are all goddesses, but what's their "relationship"?

i view the golden goddesses as higher deities and hylia as a lesser one--the golden goddesses had power enough to create the entire world, while hylia herself seems less powerful? she was mortal enough to be mortally wounded from demise, despite being a goddess, so it seems her power is far less infinite.

i honestly have trouble humanizing the golden three like i do hylia, whenever i try to conceptualize them as people rather than forces it just goes fuzzy in my brain? so i have trouble viewing them having any relationship with her at all. the way i see it, they simply breathed a purpose into her and let her live it, and she did what she felt she was meant to do. if anything, the trinity are guiding stars more than they are big sisters.

Which came first, and why did Nintendo/the responsible deity (or deities) feel like they had to make a new deity/deities?

it's... hard to say? the triforce existed in zelda 1, and the goddesses of power/wisdom/courage are mentioned in alttp, but they aren't named until oot. hylia is also mentioned in alttp--'the people of hylia,' is what the royal family is referred to as, with no elaboration lol, she's not named as a goddess. a goddess of time is mentioned in majora's mask that's heavily implied to be hylia, but it's probably safe to say the golden 3 came first, hylia as a goddess didn't really feature at all until skyward sword.

in the story, the golden goddesses created the world, and the point at which they departed turned into the triforce. they tasked hylia with watching over the triforce, making sure it didn't fall into corrupt hands, and living amongst the people so they would always be protected. she's a guardian deity, at her core, her place is among mortals, which is why the humans of the surface are named in her honour.

as for why nintendo just kinda threw a fourth goddess into the mix 25 years in... i dunno, probably just to spice things up for the lore! ocarina of time made the golden goddesses seem so untouchable, i don't really blame them for making a pink diamond-type goddess to live closer to humans and kickstart the whole story. when skyward sword came out the marketing was all about how it was an origin story!

Hylia created Fi, right? To guide her chosen hero? Did Hylia create any other sword spirits (weird tongue guy notwithstanding, p sure Demise made him), did she create the concept of sword spirits?

as far as we know, fi and gary hams are the only sword spirits in existence. there's straight up no trace of sword spirits anywhere else in zelda lore, like literally nothing. i would say that it takes tremendous power to enchant a sword with a spirit. hylia and demise are both gods of their respective domains.

i honestly lean more toward demise being the first. ghirahim strikes me as 'older' than fi, though that might just be that he's been autonomous & without his master for a very long time, lots of time to wander the surface and develop as an entity. sword spirits are... very morally complex creatures, because they are designed to be servants, which is never a good thing and you can't really make it better by being like 'oh, but they love it' lmao. demise designing himself what is functionally a slave to get him the upper hand is within his character, and programming that slave as a failsafe in the event of his death is exactly the kind of global evil i'd expect from him. i think hylia takes a page from his book when she makes fi, hoping to gain a similar upperhand--but with fi she's less of a slave and more of a guardian angel.

(botw confirms that fi is programmed with a similar failsafe, which is very interesting! when demise is sealed away, ghirahim awakens and persists, wandering the surface in search of anything and everything that could revive his master. when link dies in botw, fi awakens after millennia asleep and calculates, immediately, the exact scenario with the highest probability of saving him from the brink.)

what prompted Hylia to give Fi a very analytical-type personality (if she chose at all and if it wasn't Fi's own choice to be like that?)

i go back and forth on this, i have many interpretations. i can never decide which interpretation of hylia i like best. the sentimental kinnie side of me wants her to be this heavenly thing with this overflowing heart who loves and loves and loves so much, she can't help but let it spill over. the part of me who is interested in stories wants her to literally just be rose quartz/pink diamond from steven universe, this otherworldly being who is fascinated by humans but struggles to see them as her equal, as things with souls. how i interpret fi is directly tied to how i interpret hylia, so it changes.

here are some ideas i have:

hylia sucks. she made fi to get the upper hand, in both her own battles and her chosen hero's. she didn't think about much of anything when she made fi, just kind of saw the sword spirit as a chess piece. fi came out like that because hylia didn't bother to program her emotions.

hylia really sucks. she purposefully designed fi to be an unfeeling machine. emotional attachments are not efficient, they do not give you the upper hand in battle. she designed fi intentionally and carefully to be nothing more than a cold ai who exists to serve. anything less wouldn't be enough.

hylia rocks. she came down to earth a goddess who knew she was above the mortals there, but the courageous heart of one single man melted her heart to honey and she vowed to make his soul immortal. sword spirits are born as blank slates, their identities tied only to their purpose. hylia knew when fi met link, though, that would change. this hylia does not view emotional attachments as a flaw--maybe she did, once upon a time, but since knowing humans and loving humans, she's learned there is nothing more powerful than a heart on fire. hylia always wanted fi to learn this lesson, and though she programmed the spirit to be efficient first and foremost, she knew that if anyone could wake up the heart of a machine, it would be link.

What gives Hylia the right/ability to intervene more in Hyrule's happenings than Din/Nayru/Farore? afaik, the latter trio has a pretty hands-off approach. Are they actually invested in seeing Hyrule flourish or is Hyrule just kind of Hylia's "pet project"?

honestly i can't say why beyond what i said above about her being kind of a lesser deity. the golden goddesses really did just create the entire universe and the most powerful artifact known to man and then dip and leave her to it.

they seem very... ambivalent to the fate of hyrule. the triforce itself can't discern good from evil intent, it simply grants wishes, and likewise the golden goddesses make no move to intervene unless they are certain their world will be completely destroyed. i'm pretty sure the only influence they ever have on the land below is the great flood that precedes wind waker--hyrule gets so close to desolation that they say fuck it and even then they drown the world, with little care for the people below. it's just this clean sweep, survival of the fittest.

after the era of the goddess though, hylia's right to intervene simply comes from the fact that she chose mortality over godhood. she looked her divinity in the face and said 'no thank you' and chose to die and be eternally reborn instead. homegirl brute forced her way into it and as long as the royal family keeps having daughters she isn't stopping any time soon.

Is Hyrule the only land she cares for, or does she care for other lands that have been touched by her chosen hero/his incarnations as well (Labrynna/Holodrum/Termina/Lorule/etc.)?

i wish i had answers for this. i feel like her protection goes wherever link goes, though, even if it's not as strong in other realms. it is her that forged his unbreakable spirit, so in a way he carries her blessing with him always... i don't know if that makes sense, but i think there's a bit of hylia's golden love wherever link steps.

And, finally, what came first, the loftwing or the egg?

oh i know this one. it's the loftwing. i will not elaborate.

#wendy rambles #anonymous #wendy answers #thank you SO MUCH i love shit like this

[paintedpoems]

Black Water Arc: War of The Water Tyrants.

“Wind’s ontology refuses to take separateness as an inherent feature of the world. […] And this is, in part, wind’s value—it has an existential precondition that appears only in the context of contact. Wind is touching, mutual, moving.”

 — Cymene Howe, Ecologics

 It seems overly contradictory to start a piece about water tyrants with a quote about the wind, doesn’t it? In actuality, readers of the novel would find this comparison immensely appropriate. This is because although black water arc is about the head-to-head battle between Shi Wudu and Hexuan; the center point, the cause and the final effect of this whole arc is Shi Qingxuan. 

 “Existential Precondition” or fate. It is ironic that wind is described as such because that is essentially Shi Qingxuan’s inherent problem and “Refuses to take separateness” was Shi Qingxuan’s ultimate solution. 

Short Summary:

The infant Shi Qingxuan has a curse placed upon them. The curse prophesied a life full of unfathomable hardships for Shi Qingxuan and that is now their fate. Their brother, Shi Wudu, who is extremely protective of his sibling, is bent on saving Shi Qingxuan from this curse. Shi Wudu being naturally gifted eventually ascends as a god, he uses his position in the heavenly realm to then help his younger brother ascend to godhood as well. It is eventually revealed that Shi Wudu secretly changed his sibling’s cursed fate with another person of similar name and better fortune. 

The person in question is Hexuan. Hexuan was fated to live a prosperous life and ascend as a god but instead lives with tragedy latched onto him. He goes through poverty, false accusations, abuse and all of his loved ones die under heartbreaking circumstances. Hexuan eventually dies and returns as a vengeful ghost bent on punishing the one that had wronged him. Hexuan wants justice and since the gods refuse to pass judgement, he decides to come to a verdict on his own. In short, that is what black water arc is about: Judgement. In a grey situation, where exactly do we place the blame?

 On Morality:

Shi wudu verses Hexuan, ‘The war of the water tyrants’ dilemma, is one of the most mind-blowingly well thought out cases of grey morality in literature. It is no secret that the reductiveness of morals into “good” and “evil” categories is one of mxtx's main themes often explored heavily in her previous works. The author rejects the absolute extremes in character viewpoints, both in her protagonists and antagonists and applies the concept in varying thoughts including race and politics. 

The difference in this arc however, is the projection of the audience’s principles into each character. That is, between Hexuan and Shi wudu, she never specifies who the antagonist is. It is left to the readers to explore, reflect and come to an understanding on what exactly it is like to venture into the grey zone. Neither of the two were selfishly driven, none of their initial intentions stemmed from hatred. It was familial love that drove them to hurt one another, familial love that blindsided them. In their quest to protect and to avenge their family, innocent family members lost their lives or were hurt; on both their parts. This is where the definitions of victims and perpetrators get skewed. It is so skewed in fact, that the only valid testimony left is the reader's sentiments for the characters and their own self-principles. 

 From Shi wudu’s “Everything I have today, I fought for myself... I will change fate that I do not possess. My fate is up to me and not the heavens” is the will to fight predestination. Verses, Hexuan’s “What right did he have to suck another’s blood, trample another’s bones to reach the skies, and still maintain a peace of mind. Enjoying all such luxuries without any sense of burden?” the victim of the change in predestination. Two strong, commendable principles, founded by righteousness but blinded by arrogance and hatred. Later, to maintain a peace of mind, Hexuan tramples on Shi Qingxuan and in the process of fighting for oneself, Shi Wudu ultimately changes Shi Qingxuan’s fate for the worse. 

We even witness the Shi Wudu’s blindness take a terrible turn at the very end when he attempts to strangle his own sibling that he fought to protect all this time. His belief that Shi Qingxuan will not be safe without him, his lack of trust in his own brother, is part of his arrogance. 

In return, we see Hexuan’s blind hatred falter for a moment when he keeps giving Shi Qingxuan chances for safety. At the finish line, we see both the water tyrant’s own morals and goals swap. This change in attitude towards Shi Qingxuan’s future is another outstanding ploy by mxtx because expectation of a good outcome is the core of morality. In the end, the readers simply wish for a good ending for Shi Qingxuan and when Shi Wudu decides he is going to die together with his sibling, it confuses the audience. There is a shock factor added, you perceive Shi Wudu as the protector and he pulls the safety rug from under your feet. Instant shock and confusion violating the purity of the absolute good, so the reader’s immediate reaction is to look for safety in the not-absolute evil i.e. Hexuan. However, when Hexuan does not provide that complete comfort at the end, only slightly appeasing everyone, it stings. Reinforcing that cognitive blend of mixed morality into reader’s beliefs, further skewing the curve. 

 It is this kind of writing that creates a split in the fandom, not in a bad way, but more in terms of sparking a conversation about where people’s individual morality lies. Each character has their past, their reasons, their flaws and goodness and it gives the audience something to root for. In addition, the rooting is not a hundred percent good versus bad, because each character’s choices are equally flawed. The fandom selects a side but with one foot still lingering on the other territory. Siding with Hexuan but understanding the reasoning behind Shi Wudu’s actions or siding with Shi Wudu but sympathizing with Hexuan’s pain and loss. The uneven split is how you know the characterization was not mediocre.

In regards to characterizations, Shi wudu and Hexuan are too similar. Their personalities, personas, auras; the proud, stubborn, intelligent water tyrants. We speak of these likenesses because Shi Qingxuan lives through this battle and will never be able to unsee the similarities. Hexuan remains, a walking reminder of Shi Wudu. This feels deliberately done as the final stab to the readers, so that Shi Qingxuan and Hexuan’s relationship remains unmendable. 

 Pure Point of Views, Shi Qingxuan and Xielian: 

Wind is invisible, its apprehension comes from its exposure to objects or in this case other people. Shi Qingxuan is air, pure, lively and touching, forming a comforting contact with everyone they meet. The kind of character that brings about a reader’s protective instinct, in a sense, if anything were to happen to them it will infuriate and break the audience. A classic plot device to draw emotions from the readers. Why must this innocent child suffer for the sins of their brother? But, mxtx urges us to rethink this by wondering the same for Hexuan’s family. They were innocent too, why did they have to die on this path? Why is Shi Qingxuan’s innocence valid and not theirs? The audience feels for Shi Qingxuan because we have become familiarised with them. Shi Qingxuan has now made that connection with the readers, the wind has touched their hearts versus only receiving glimpses of what was Hexuan’s previous family. The effect is lacking that familial impact, that bond. Classic writing schemes, beautiful.

At the end of the clashing of the waves, the person left with the permanent scars was the blameless Shi Qingxuan. Their life was molded and directed into this final point without their control, as if caught in a sea storm. The one that paid for this feud was ultimately Shi Qingxuan, the person neither of the other two wanted to hurt.

 Another classic writing device I want to finally explore and praise is the use of the narrator to throw the audience off the culprit’s scent. The mystery of Black Water Arc was quite simple actually, mxtx layed out all the clues and hints for the audience out in the open. Like Xielian himself states later, the simplest answer was always visible, he was just overthinking things. And if Xielian, the semi-narrator, overthinks then the audience will overthink. Xielian, an intelligent and the fundamentally good person, exudes a trusting aura. The audience cannot help but trust his judgement and perception of things, it is a credibility built from our experience with his mystery solving abilities in the previous arcs. 

The reason why the black water reveal was so impactful and shocking was because of Xielian. The semi narrator continuously made excuses for MingYi, his subconscious trusted him, even if he had his suspicions. He didn’t enforce them strongly enough, leaving the audience to believe Xielian was merely exploring a wrong option for the sake of eliminating possible culprits. The audience was not viewing MingYi as a culprit, rather they were waiting for Xielian to come to the inevitable conclusion of his innocence. An item to quickly cross off the checklist so that they could finally pursue the “real” culprit.

MingYi couldn’t use the Earth Master Shovel? Xielian makes the excuse for him before the audience can even dive deeper on that thought. HuaCheng draws suspicion back to MingYi and Xielian immediately doubts his most trusted confidant’s assumptions. Xielian trusts MingYi, so we trust MingYi against our better judgement. When the narrator has left no room for mistrust, how can the audience hold their stance? 

The proficient push and pull charade played out by Hexuan and Huacheng is another impactful factor that took part in diverting Xielian’s mistrust. The nefarious roles they played policing and suspecting each other, from Hexuan’s “don’t you have spies in the heavens?” to Huacheng’s lie detecting dice game. The solid plan of the two suspicious individuals doing the dirty work for Xielian, did not allow Xielian to mold his thoughts in his own way. He was led astray whilst the other two worked together to draw trust onto each other. So, the audience did not have room for doubt either. 

In addition to all of that, the most fundamental foundation to Xielian’s trust for MingYi was that fact that he was the one who saved him from Huacheng in the first place. Simply because of the ghost city arc, we already place Huacheng and Hexuan on opposing sides rather than assuming they were accomplices. Furthermore, because of Xielian’s trust in Huacheng’s intellect and his belief of Huacheng’s prejudice against MingYi; he would constantly monitor Huacheng’s reaction to his own deductions. Unfortunately, Huacheng was a terrible basis point and by the time Xielian realizes it, it is too late. An ingenious tactic. 

The author led us off track in such a brilliant manner, I had to sing praises at the end of this piece. The way our mind perceives people or situations, is the essence of our moral compass. The mind is subjective, so subjectivity in judgement is ever present, ever grey.

Notes:

This unforgettable and excruciatingly tragic arc is an important turning point in the book and we are all aware that it does not need a special summary. However, I wanted to start with a bit of a reintroduction, just to stay true to the essay tradition. Is this an essay? A think-piece? An analysis? I would not dare shame any of those academic classifications by claiming to be writing as such. 

I hope this was enjoyable to read.

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#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #mxtx #writings #analysis #ahhhh i promised I wouldn’t do anymore long post!!! sorry for your dashboard fill ;___; #*bow in apology*

[autumnblogs]

Day 50: Trickster Shenanigans

Getting an early start today, because I want to do some catch-up for the last few missed days, so we’ll see if I can get to the end of Disc 2 today.

https://homestuck.com/story/5714

So if we view a lot of the beats in the Alpha Kids’ story as corresponding to beats in the Beta Kids’ story, and Jane as a character who is emotionally parallel to Rose in a lot of ways, Trickster Mode basically represents the same emotional beat for her as Grimdark Mode did for Rose. Jane is at her emotional nadir here, thinking that her Dad is dead, and alienated from all of her friends.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/5730

I think what is so unsettling about the Tricksters is the way in which all of their actual personality traits are overridden - they’re just happy. They make us question the nature of happiness in general, because their happiness is artificial, it overshadows their actual selves - all of the things about them that make them who they are - and makes them bombastically enthusiastic about things as they are, while giving them borderline absolute power to warp reality and give them something TO be happy about.

Their recovery from trickster mode, and Andrew’s narration makes it clear that Trickster Mode is not good for humans, because like a sugar rush, it just provides temporary relief from the genuine emotional problems that the literal material problems of Sburb parallel. Solving the material problems is not a proxy for solving the emotional problems, and progressing through the plot at hyperspeed without doing any of the actual emotional work ultimately leaves the kids’ development stunted, and unprepared for what comes next.

The happiness is fake - the euphoria is a real sensation that they’re experiencing, but it’s provoked externally, it’s a cheat. This whole episode has tones of substance abuse, but I think that what it’s ultimately about on the whole is wish fulfillment as a coping mechanism, as the Alpha Kids ignore their actual problems and escape into a fantasy where they just don’t have any.

https://homestuck.com/story/5757

Dirk’s response to all these shenanigans is kind of... complicated. Like, he’s right that this isn’t solving anything, but his reaction is less about actually wanting to solve his problems in a constructive way, and more I think that Dirk doesn’t want to not be miserable. Maybe on an intellectual level, he gives assent to the fact that it would be good to make progress and change as a person, but emotionally, Dirk can’t let go of the idea of himself as a static person who just is a certain way, and has to be who he is. Changing would mean ceasing to exist. The person who is Dirk is miserable, but he’s too terrified to be anything else.

https://homestuck.com/story/5759

Even as miserable as all this is, it���s kind of cathartic to see Dirk break free from his own aloofness and experience some kind of emotion, even if it’s just anger. This is one of those times where I’m not actually entirely clear how I feel about a story development.

On the one hand, Dirk’s emotions about the whole situation are real, and valid, but like... I’m not sure if he’s right to make those emotional demands of Jake. And I’m pretty sure he’s not. By all accounts, Dirk has been a possessive, physically abusive boyfriend to Jake, if we take into account the fact that their rough-housing is pretty one-sided if the Brobot’s conduct is anything to help us understand.

But I still feel sympathetic toward Dirk, and I guess what makes me feel that way is that he’s being emotionally honest for once in his life, and the emotion that he’s being honest about is pain. I have a hard time not feeling pity for people who are in pain, even if that pain is largely self-inflicted.

https://homestuck.com/story/5778

The language here very directly compares the trickster situation to the Grimdark situation, so I guess I was either remembering that, or just spot on.

https://homestuck.com/5796

Dirk and Jane are both over Jake at this point, and there’s an extent to which they are both legitimately over him, and for good reason. Even as a friend, Jake’s not really willing to do any emotional labor whatsoever.

On the other hand, I think they both realize, to some extent, that they’ve been making unfair emotional demands of Jake, based on the chagrin that they feel in terms of the way they’ve been behaving toward him.

https://homestuck.com/5798

Yup. That is exactly what they’re feeling.

I think the answer to who is in the wrong is this situation is; pretty much everyone.

Roxy probably the least; she is luckily pretty divorced from these emotional shenanigans. I’m sure we could find something to blame Roxy for, but I don’t really feel like it - she’s only a part of this love triangle tangentially, and the main thing that she’s been doing is going against her nature as a Rogue of Void by keeping everyone’s secrets from each other.

They dragged her into it to, and made her a part of it. So maybe if we can blame Roxy for anything, it’s not speaking out about how terrible and unhealthy this whole situation is before things got this bad, after she helped push Jake into a relationship with one of her other best friends? But even that feels like a stretch.

https://homestuck.com/5802

Ah yup, there we go, not only did Roxy fall off the wagon, she started sexually harassing Dirk again.

There’s what I was missing. I was so busy focusing on the Jake English Love Triangle that I forgot about that.

While it should be pretty obvious without stating it, this little sequence is just another continuation and exploration of the theme of alienation that the whole comic is about - the impossibility of human unmediated communication because of the way that exposing our true selves makes us vulnerable to pain.

The emotional effort they have to make to talk to each other is too great.

They are not strong enough.

https://homestuck.com/5819

I wish I had more to say commentary-ways, but everyone here is being pretty emotionally honest! There’s not a lot of motive-sensing necessary when everyone is just laying their cards on the table.

https://homestuck.com/5858

Parallel to the way all of the other kids so far have had their ascension to Godhood arranged, nefarious actors intercede to kill them without any action on their part; and the way that Caliborn arranges for this through Lil Cal, juxtaposed with the imagery of the Trickster Lollipop in his eyes suggests to me that if we fully decode this sequence of events for meaning, it’s an exposition on the theme we got the first time around we were dealing with the God Tiers;

We might call the God Tier principle this; There is no spiritual significance to seeking, acquiring, or having power; it is as easy or easier for the spiritually deaf and blind to acquire power as it is for the awakened.

And we might call the Trickster Corollary this; Wish fulfillment fantasy is the attempt to unify spiritual significance with the power of action, and is false storytelling.

https://homestuck.com/story/5926

I think that this is actually a pretty fine plae to stop. I really powered through around 200 pages without having a whole lot to say, in no small part because the Trickster “arc” if it can be called that really stops being so cagey and ironic for a while to actually just be refreshingly emotional candid. There’s a bit to unpack from the conversations that the characters have with one another, but the long and short of this fallout is that the characters have all failed to not only be supportive of each other, but to even be supportive of themselves.

The Alpha Kids can’t figure out how to love each other, because they don’t love themselves.

Cam signing off early! I might try to do this stuff earlier in the day more like this, since I’m feeling mentally invigorated and ready for work now at the end of my session, instead of worn out from trying to juggle work and hobbies.

For now, Cam signing off, Alive, and with a Cat in my lap.

#commentary #liveblogging