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#(but. one thing being really nice does not prevent the other aspects from being questionable)
rawliverandgoronspice · 5 months
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zelda truly do be one of the only fandoms where you will get dragged by fellow fans for feeling attachment towards the world and the characters
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mejerkoch59 · 1 year
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Nepal Travel - Wandering Explained
Hiking In Nepal to many sounds like one of those activities that one finds on a wish board or an activity the fact that sounds as a result foreign which it belongs in most obscure Country wide Geographic course about a distant place. Truthfully both 'trekking' and 'Nepal' fall under the fact that category of cryptic adventure actions and locations. In reality although, trekking during Nepal is usually nothing alarming (other as opposed to of course the nice thing about the environment itself) and not very, out of the ordinary for people who who has recently been on a lengthy hike. After i set out to create this clarification of trekking in Nepal, I wanted to resolve a question. "What is going? " Then i realized that the answer then is a lot more difficult than what it appears to be. It also dawned on my family, that when my local freinds and family members posed problem, "What is certainly trekking? micron my contretype synonym made answer "It's like a prolonged hike from the mountains" that is certainly found on a large number of "Travel Nepal" websites was no where close to satisfactory. It's not that they as well as I don't know what walking in Nepal was in the event that formulating the response, but instead that we failed to respond to problem in a way regarding dispel the assumptions the fact that rise out of stereotypes that exist whenever the word what hiking, Nepal, Himalayas and remote are used in one word or close proximity to one another. It is all these stereotypes the fact that prevent a straightforward and accurate one word description in trekking during Nepal. Precisely what is wandering in Nepal, if the correct answer is a lot more than just the stereotypical, travel around in Nepal by climbing? Let's commence with a little geography. Nepal, is mostly a landlocked region, sandwiched among India and Tibet and stretched out along the spine of the Himalayan assortment. As such, there is a vast array of habitats right from tropical jungles to the alpine tops from the Himalayas themselves. What going in Nepal does, is certainly create a way for the traveler to traverse various parts of the following varied surface on foot, and experience the diverse habitats and culture stumbled upon along the way. Even now however , though entirely adequate, this option is imperfect. We need to first clear up a few assumptions. Evidently, Nepal could be as 'remote' geographically in the event that viewed from other "more developed" elements of the world, nevertheless this doesn't show that Nepal is normally uninhabited and therefore when traipsing one might hike meant for weeks with no seeing any kind of signs of life. Quite the contrary, (though such aspects exist), your traveler through Nepal may find themselves at most half a days journey by a settlement. This is also true for the most popular major trekking areas of Nepal. The reason why is really quite simple. Nepal being placed on the mountainous terrain it is, as well as proudly wearing the "third world" badge has got to this day, a staggering number of '1' major highway. Appropriately referred to as the East-West Highway, the idea spans the state and provides less than a handful of axillary routes north west and southerly with only 1 of these tributaries as the approach to Tibet (China) out of Kathmandu. The importance of the, is that plenty of parts of Nepal, are to at the present time inaccessible by just vehicle and several portions, especially those in the West that are completely isolated. One has to comprehend that prior to the 'East West' highway was constructed, the villages and settlements in Nepal were definitely already right now there, and thus even today, many of these human population centers continue to be only readily available on foot. Nepal is a region that has been squeezed between two trading giants India and Tibet (Today China) to get as long as it consists of existed to be a unified country. The investment routes somewhere between these two Goliaths ran easily for Nepal trough is actually territory. Nepal not only were required to facilitate trade between these countries, nonetheless also have a manner to support really own market and craft system involving the major metropolitan areas. Needless to say, that without tracks, the only method of transport was by foot. A process of transporting goods utilizing a web of footpaths came to be and this rather complex, 'via foot' sort of Himalayan highway arrangement linked the Nepali villages with one another and are today the exact same channels traveled through visiting trekkers. It's easy to think about and presume, that the townships offering guest house encountered around the trekking paths sprung up at many of these convenient periods because of the at any time expanding tourism itself. This kind of other than a bit of modern conveniences such as electrical power is in fact phony. In a course called "A Stranger for Tibet, very well the author Martin Berry, describes the adventures of a specific Buddhist, Western monk the fact that traveled around the now famous trekking course in the Annapurna Conservation Area in order to slip into the in that case forbidden Tibet (Nepal becoming forbidden at that moment as well). This monks adventure occurred in the early 1900s way ahead of the word "tourism" was considered in Nepal and yet a similar settlements spotted by holidaymakers and utilized as right away accommodations today were spotted by this intrepid monk (Kawaguchi) some a century earlier. https://mountbatursunrisetrekkingtour.com is that these routes were being utilized for transporting goods even before Kawaguchi's adventures, consequently they are generally, no more than some half days journey from one another; piled up out of necessity as continent travel puts a stop to for the traveling caravans. Though traipsing in Nepal does not include scaling vertical coves and hiking snowcapped mountains, views from both are a good amount of along the way. Somebody wondering am i not fit going Nepal, need not worry about teaching to climb Mt. Everest as which is not what walking in Nepal provides. Trekking in Nepal does however provide a superb day-long on foot journey pertaining to multiple days and nights through probably the most beautiful, universal remote mountainous terrain in the world, while still offering the opportunity for your warm foundation and home cooked supper along the way. It is actually in this that lies the response to "What is traipsing in Nepal? ".
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danses-with-dogmeat · 3 years
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Romanced! Male!Companions react to Sole/Lone/Six being unable to walk the morning after.
I’ve got M!Companions from FO4, FO3, and FONV here, but let me know if you guys want me to include anyone else at all! 
Might be just a little NSFW?
;)
Fallout 4 --
Danse: 
     Danse would feel absolutely horrible. After the initial flush on his cheeks at the mention of sex, his expression would turn to one of devastation. There honestly wouldn't be any sense of satisfaction whatsoever at having hurt you, and he would internally berate himself for not being as attentive to you, and as aware of your reactions as he should've been. That day he would tell you to take it easy and he would be at your constant beck and call in an attempt to make it up to you. He would spend all day beside you, working on cleaning and repairing your weapons and armor, engaging in idle conversation, and maybe listening to the radio. The next time you two are intimate he will be exceedingly gentle with you, and will take extra care to ensure you are more prepared for him before really getting into it.  
Deacon: 
     He would feel really bad to have hurt you enough to impact you like this, but also he would feel just a small twinge of satisfaction at having been able to do so. He'll do his best to take care of you after you tell him about it though, spending the whole day with you in bed, just chatting away, playing little games with you, like “two truths, one lie” or 20 questions and the like. When the time does come for you two to be intimate again, he'll have you take the lead a few times in a row to get an idea of your preferred pacing so he can replicate it better and hopefully not hurt you in the future. But, and he's not particularly proud of this, he will ask your permission to tell some of the others back at HQ what had happened. (He just really just wants to see the look on Carrington’s face, and prove a certain something to Glory about his anatomy. But, of course, he wouldn’t use your name if you didn't want him to. Discretion is this man’s forte, after all).
 Hancock: 
     Is it still considered aftercare if it happens the day after you've had sex? Well, whatever it’s called, Hancock would do all that he can to make up for how he had made you feel. He should know better after all by now, he would feel horrible and try to think back to the way you had reacted to some of his movements in an effort to pinpoint what exactly had hurt you so he could make sure to never do it again. If you wanted chems to numb the pain, he'll surely offer them, and besides that, he'll spend the whole day just looking after you. Holding you close, telling you jokes and stories, making you food, maybe giving you a message, just anything to make you feel better. And when you two are intimate again, he'll be sure to make it up to you. Big time.
 MacCready:
     Initially, he might feel a distinct sense of pride at having rendered you immobile with his vicious love, but once his brain wraps around the fact that you're actually in pain, he'll feel pretty bad. Maybe not as bad as he should, which he tries to hide, but it's pretty obvious given his little grin he has plastered on his face all day. But he’ll be sure to take good care of you, grabbing snacks and refreshments before curling up next to you with a couple of comic books, really just taking full advantage of the day off. From now on, when the two of you do have sex, he will try to prevent this from happening again by having you be in control for the most part, at least until he learns your body and its limits a bit better. He still might not completely ease up, but he’ll at least make it seem like he’s not as proud of what he’d done as he actually happens to be. And just a heads up, he may just bring up the fact that he was the one who “loved you so hard that you couldn’t walk” at every given opportunity, so just be aware of that.
Nick: 
     The poor old detective would feel dreadful, this was part of the reason he'd been hesitant to engage in physical acts of intimacy with you in the first place. Even if you assured him it was nothing more than some temporary soreness, he'd have trouble rationalizing being with you intimately for a little while. He would also take an easy day himself so he could keep an eye on you and get you whatever you might need. When you did manage to convince him that you would be okay to have sex again, he would be overly tender and gentle, just to make sure that you know how much your well-being means to him, and to assure you that he would never repeat the actions that had ended up hurting you ever again. As far as he was concerned, he wanted you to wake up feeling good after being with him, to feel satisfied and giddy and maybe just a little tired, but certainly not in pain. 
Preston: 
     Oh lordy, good luck trying to get him to touch you again after he finds out that he hurt you. Initially, his brain would send a little spark of pride to the forefront of his mind when you first told him, but his conscious self would instantly shut it down, disgusted by the fact that it was present at all. He would insist you take the whole day off and would try to keep up on his work while also looking after you in every way possible. You'll really have to work to get him to be with you intimately again anytime soon, as he'll be quite worried about you, and once you do manage to convince him, he'll be extraordinarily gentle and slow. He's very sweet, but you'll have to be patient with him as he pauses with every heavy breath you release, or gasp you take, or moan you utter. Even good noises are scary for him, but don't worry, he'll get back to his usual pace eventually, and now be extra aware of your every reaction to him; which, as it turns out, can be quite handy. 
X6-88: 
     The courser will be conflicted. On the one hand, you were aware that X6’s lovemaking is rough, you've known that from the start, so the two of you wouldn’t be unused to scenarios like this occurring. However, for it to have escalated to physically impairing you enough to prevent you from walking… that made him feel an ache of regret in his chest. Luckily, X6 doesn't miss a thing, and likely will recall which aspects of the night had led to this specific outcome, and he would try to eliminate those factors from future interactions. As for now, he will ensure that you are safe, and as comfortable as possible; he will guard you as you take the day to rest, and will fetch you anything that you require. Normally, when you were hurt, he would recommend paying a visit to the Institute medical facility, but in this case… he would rather try and help you himself if it comes to it. You’re not entirely sure if it’s because he’s embarrassed, or just possessive over certain areas of your body now, but you’d say his crimson cheeks were a bit of a giveaway.  
Fallout 3 --
Butch: 
     On the outside, he would be the prime example of the sympathetic boyfriend. He would apologize and spend the day cuddling with you, playing with your hair, eating snack cakes and drinking nuka cola. On the inside, however, he would feel a certain sense of fulfillment, and would have to consciously hold back the wicked grin that threatened to spill onto his lips at the thought of his lovemaking being wild enough to make it so that you couldn’t walk. He certainly wouldn’t actively try to do it again, but he also wouldn’t necessarily try to prevent it from happening, so just be prepared for anything. But whether or not he’s successful in making you sore again, he’ll fully dedicate himself to caring for you afterwards, ensuring that you’re comfortable and content in his arms at the end of each night. 
Charon:
     The ghoul can’t say he’s surprised, he did warn you that this might happen, after all. His previous sexual experiences have all been initiated by past employers, so most of them have ranged from pretty negative ordeals to downright violent encounters, and though he'll try to leave that in the past, it's tough for him to let go of it completely since it’s really all he knows. That being said, he will still feel bad about hurting you, and will really try to take more care the next time the two of you are intimate. You'll have to work together on communication and focus more on foreplay in the future, but Charon aims to please, and would never purposefully try to hurt you (unless, of course, if you told him you were into it ;). 
Jericho:
     He’ll honestly just grin nice and big when you tell him. Sorry. If you wanted tenderness and sympathy, you should probably look into being with someone else. Jericho would consider this to be an achievement on his part, and assure you that this was a sign that the two of you had really done it right. He might complain a bit about having to stay in for the day, but that doesn't mean he won't still take care of you, in his own sort of way. He'll offer you a drink (or a few), or a cigarette (or a whole pack), and would probably just end up falling back into bed next to you and taking a nice, long nap at your side. He wouldn't really promise to change anything the next time the two of you have sex, but he might try to reassure you that it will get easier with more "practice."
Fallout New Vegas --
Arcade:
     Oh, he would definitely laugh, because it's a joke. Obviously you're joking with him… right? No!? But-- how? He would be confused by this, and too busy thinking through what he possibly could have done to make you physically unable to walk, to actually address the issue. Once he snaps out of it, he'll ask if you're okay and try to keep his snarky and sarcastic quips to a minimum for the day. As much as Arcade loves giving you a hard time in general, this time he'd be too embarrassed to bring it up. In the event that you do mention it, you'd best be prepared for the pink hue that would adorn, not just his cheeks, nor even his face, but his entire body. When the two of you do have sex again, Arcade will be happy to let you take the lead so you can better control the pacing and keep from hurting yourself at all, (which really is just a win-win scenario, considering the fact that he really prefers you being in control anyway.)
Boone:
     His brows would furrow at the news, barely noticeable through his sunglasses, but he would simply set down his rifle and bag and settle back into bed with you. The ex-soldier would curl his arms around you and stay beside you for the remainder of the day, rubbing his arms along your body comfortingly. He’s not big on small talk, but Boone would love to just sit and listen to you ramble all day long. When the evening comes, he’ll be sure to get up and make you both dinner before encouraging you to go to sleep early. Despite his stoic exterior, he's actually quite the tender caretaker. The next time you two are intimate together, he'll consciously focus on being more gentle and controlled with his movements, and certainly won't be shy in making sure you're properly "prepared" for him when he does get a little more rough. 
Raul:
     Aw, the poor old ghoul would feel horrible about hurting you, the ridge above his eyes would crinkle upwards as he flashed you a sympathetic smile. He'd be a little embarrassed about it as well, feeling like it was rude of him to let his self-control slip enough to have ended up hurting you. He'd take care of you for the day, taking the opportunity to tidy up your living space as he chats with you about anything and everything, telling you stories of his life from before the bombs dropped, teaching you some words in Spanish, and telling cheesy jokes to make you laugh. He would give you a bit of time to recover before agreeing to sleeping with you again, and this time he would suggest either you taking the lead, or using a safe word in case his control started slipping again. 
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sugar-petals · 3 years
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SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon
↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡
5k words | bullet points
○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff
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⌈ ten
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— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.
most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning 
and don’t really get what he’s all about
or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top
acting peculiar
finding him kind of hard to gauge
some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad 
they seriously wonder what you see in him
down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees
as it should
ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him
he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes
his personality is very approachable to you 
and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits
and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through
so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength 
he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure
being far wiser than his age suggests 
you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person
spending so much time with you
in the most personal way he can
he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand
wakeboarding and playing badminton
his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious
it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then
and that you have been around his home city as well
getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies
renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have
this kissing is gonna be so romantic 
who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in
except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!
with seemingly no effort
ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day
he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener
he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun
you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny
everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair
ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock
and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present
said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory
because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it
what’s not to love about a portable blanket
of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets
mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic
and not just for insta
you snuggle a lot generally
ten is always available for affection
and accepts all PDA
he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know
remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can
and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist
or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment
time for dance is a must
oh my god ten is so good at all of this
although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres
tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well
don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!
vamos
so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff 
that escalates into wild, passionate fucking
which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises
you poor sore souls
ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over
favorite position? full nelson
if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe
this is not for the faint of heart
sex with this guy is extra cardio
and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later
with our girl lisa
there. i said it
miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow
i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be
steamy sex life with ten very recommended
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⌈ kai
— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.
to be straightforward with you
he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness
to give you an idea of the scale
mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time 
but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms
those sharp moves did not go unnoticed
he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day
jesus christ
if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested
his phone would be blowing up with contracts like
and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check
and taemin’s
the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai
i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with
this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something
if he likes you he REALLY likes you
and he will be the one showing initiative
because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something
although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day
seoul would be able to found its own village 
kai town
where like 70% of the population is pregnant
but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person 
seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district
where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids
if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it
does he have a thing for milfs or something
that thought just came to my mind
anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink
fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt
going raw at the gym together
him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker
cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you
walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive 
and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg 
we know he’s all-round amazing
kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime
and yes innocent chilling
...unless you’re in the mood for something else
up to you
anyway
sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything
on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature
kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener
he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t
he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed
yes he is extremely caring and invested
kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you
if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.
kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable
i think you get what i mean by that
and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing
you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships
outside influences aren’t to be underestimated
and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others
a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason
standing up for you also means saying no 
to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw
that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix
kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend
that’d be exhausting and beside the point 
kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you
i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you
guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so 
but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something
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⌈ taeyong
— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.
he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy
things um from the internet
while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is
and you thought it would be something nsfw
i got you fooled
did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube
taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated
this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know
anyway
sea shanties
bopping to it all day since he just heard it 
singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does
he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever
asking you why shanties are back in fashion 
(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)
planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not
maybe your favorite shanty 
featuring fast-pace rap and all
creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him
palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks
he’s hilarious i swear
taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine
as he says: my happiness is your happiness
watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves
taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack
prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot
how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted
it’s like he’s peter pan or something
especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you
yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship
and guess who wears the pants
that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it
or wait 
not for long actually because they come off um physically
but not metaphorically
because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh
your favorite reserved spot
he loves it
taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous
mister lee got a sexy mama
and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him
but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think
all there is... is being flustered
baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then
and give you some ideas
like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that
baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome
but most things you find out for yourself
by being a little braver with him you know
you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel
will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!
jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway
i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”
you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business
it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie
this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling
how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way  
you’ll lose count of it
and just how wet you’re gonna be
is a thing for the history books
taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent 
so great sex is obviously in his repertoire
i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week
you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting
but taeyong gets down to business
one glance is enough
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⌈ lucas
— motto: the hottest couple around.
ah, big boy
you really got this man’s attention
doing nothing much at all really
he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends
carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog
yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye
they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning
or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit
anyway
the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants
lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself 
with more good food, movies, games
fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out
he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him
he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because
to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister
imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place
fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly
making you lose a round
obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins
mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map
let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas
which is definitely a successful plan of the leader
yukhei is in paradise 
jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home
don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence
emotionally, physically
a gentle but persistent giant
he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested
if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on
he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you 
not gonna lie
your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots
his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets
when he sees lucas hanging out with you
with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that
looking like your guardian angel
man, xuxi really does
pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months
and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best
and big big hugs of course
you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you
he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it
because you deserve that treatment
which means he will come over very very often
yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there
underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you
yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around
his brain is like: “gotta be with her”
on repeat
he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible
no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline
i really pity your ex 
i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts 
but lucas is a special case
he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him
i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright
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⌈ mark
— motto: two nerds in love.
how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean
with a tendency toward bean
and flicking the bean
you know
cutting right to the chase are we
mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can
and defeating his awkwardness
because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it
and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew
how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit
back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing
he does his best and always looks for room to improve
while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in
that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other
lucky you
and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you
that’s so nice 
he can play it while laying down and shit
while singing
not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading
we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam
are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh
mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay
or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand
mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned
he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with 
having a good time 
as often as his schedule permits
you really have to make use of your time together 
this man might as well the busiest idol out there
and you are no different because birds of a feather
you’re both mr. and ms. independent 
out and about very often
so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season
or wait mark always has a comeback going on
which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for 
which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM 
sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you
a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need
since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well
but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto
who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed
in case you are feeling possessive as well...
...you might have to fistfight yuta
to be able to be with mark
who is basically property of osaka at this point
yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is
unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life
but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by
we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable
you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta 
which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory
bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much
regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge
so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified
he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him
the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies 
which will be appreciated but also cause a storm
mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best 
caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect
this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line
yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be
it could be worse mark has double the love you know 
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⌈ baekhyun
— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?
baby tell me are you ridin’?
in fair verona where we lay our scene...
that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss
putting in effort is mochi default mode 
no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in
he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because
probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild
yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt
that’s good for him and everyone involved
you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy
you know how baekhyun is
at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that
your little guy is one unhinged fella
if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’
you bet he can do some actual pole dance
he’s strong and bendy you know
and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls
in the rain
what a freaky man
but hey you wanna stay up for sure 
doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs
where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—
oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it
he will play off all his hormonal antics
baekhyun is hilarious
and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry
how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?
who else would like baekhyun
he says juicy things all the time
and does juicy things
yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed. 
when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard 
bruh
this is gonna be fun
and remember
beside handing you sacks of money
his priority is always to make you smile
i’m kidding about the bags but
baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle
baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright
financial stability: important
luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together
but smiles: baekhyun priority
because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure
of course you do
you always reassure him with your reactions
it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it
baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up
so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles
anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping
because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined
and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied
taemin’s impact
superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that
so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen
since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into
and take some pictures
privé is in trouble 
bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene
you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him
heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?
nope
first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed
baekhyun is basically never photographed like that
second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend
and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on 
well what can i say
nothing is the way it seems
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⌈ taemin
— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.
taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know
least boring relationship ever
he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles
touch-starved taemin is a thing
kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often
might as well pepper him with it no problem
and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair
he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry
and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy
who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard
working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over
a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle
taemin truly has the taste of a divo
multi-layered as always
so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day
we love a complex man
what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close
because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner 
even if those facets might be contradictory
or something that’s felt shameful about
he will accept and listen anyway
the same goes for getting what drives you
taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests
point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world
he knows what has to be known
which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes
and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to
it’s the mentality and values underneath
that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it
he’s really really smart
and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa
especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either
or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help
we have a problem
but fair enough
kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway 
bff telepathy
in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!
because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct
so not to worry then
and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know
cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day
here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life
without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only
but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group
going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods
which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so
at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner
limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side
and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side
this is gonna be interesting
he puts the 6v6 in 69
equals 69v69 am i right
but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action
you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot
and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed
taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is
ah when things go both ways
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© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.
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harrysweasleys · 3 years
Text
show and tell // g.w
summary: the four times george shows you he loves you before he says it for the first time.
warnings: injury, blood, broken bones, sickness, mentions of nudity and food
word count: 5k
a/n: this was so much fun to write!! i hope you all enjoy :) x
———————————————————————
one
It was mid-march and the spring sunshine felt as if it were everlasting. From the moment you woke up, to the late evening, the golden rays illuminated the fields around the Burrow and brought a sense of warmth and comfort. As if you were away from the rest of the world, practically untouched by civilization.
It was the epitome of peaceful.
Even in the peak of the afternoon, while Molly and Arthur bustled about the house, and while the gaggle of Weasley children decided to take advantage of the weather and challenge one another to a playful Quidditch game.
You weren’t really sure why they chose to call it playful, per say. They were all awfully competitive. Last week, Ginny was knocked off of her broom and into the pond. Luckily, she sustained no injuries, but it was still a rather intense sight. About a month back, Bill had decided to join, and had to use his wand to repair a black eye.
Safe to say, as you sat on a small lounge chair and watched over, that you were nervous. Your eyes felt as if they were locked on George’s every move. That if you looked away, he’d end up toppling to the ground in a mess of long limbs and ginger hair.
“You sure you don’t want to join?” Ginny called down to you, hovering a few feet away on her rather mangled broom that she most likely used in childhood before she got her much nicer one for the Gryffindor team.
You shook your head, squinting as you looked up, “I’ll pass. I’m much better as a spectator.”
She shrugged, her braid flipping over her shoulder as she took off back towards the make-shift pitch.
The game went as it always did — the same teams, the same keepers, the same chasers and beaters, and of course, Harry and Ginny as rival seekers. Nothing was really new there.
George looked rather at ease on his broom. It was a sight you loved to see. You knew that work stressed him out, that he was always trying to improve every aspect of his business and it was one of the things that swirled in his mind constantly. But seeing him here, in what appeared to be his element, brought a smile to your face.
Unfortunately, that smile was wiped off rather quickly when he collided with Ginny not even five minutes into the match. She ended up collecting her wits and balance, staying up in the air. George, however, did not.
Luckily for him, he was only a few feet off the ground. But the sickening crunch that he made when he landed flat on his face was the furthest thing from “lucky” that you could think of.
You shot up off of your chair in a panicked heartbeat, rushing over to where his body lay limp on the ground. You could feel your body grow warm in worry.
“George!” you crouched next to him and placed one of your hands on his forearm, “Georgie, are you okay?”
He let out a groan, rolling over onto his back. A stream of blood rushed down from his nose, which already looked off coloured and crooked. Broken, no doubt.
“Is it bad?” he asked, his eyes squinted shut.
You winced, trying to avoid looking at the damage on his face, “I’m really not the person to ask.”
He began to sit up, groaning a bit as he did so, and slowly opened his eyes. He brought one of his hands — one that was already covered in a mixture of dirt and sweat — and brought it to his face, wiping it across his mouth and chin.
As he pulled it away and spotted the crimson liquid on his fingertips, he let out a mutter of a curse.
“I’m bowing out of the match,” he called up to his siblings, all hovering nearby to see if he was alright, before pointing at his face, “I’m gonna go clean this up.”
His hair was matted down to his head from sweat, as well as his clothes practically clinging to his body, but you wasted no time in grabbing on to him to hoist him up. You weren’t overly familiar with injuries, since you were in no means a Healer, but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to help.
“Let’s get you to the washroom,” you held his arm, leading him into the house and guiding him since his head was tilted back, pinching his nose to prevent any more bleeding.
On the way into the tiny washroom, you grabbed your wand that was sitting on the dining room table. Hermione had taught you the spell for repairing a broken nose, and though you’ve never performed it before, you had to give it a shot.
“I should be alright,” he muttered with his hand still pinched on his nose, his other free hand rummaging across the cluttered countertop to try and find the tissues.
You gently whacked his hand away, “Stop. Let me help.”
You began guiding him over to the edge of the countertop, bringing him closer until yourself pinned right between his body and the sink. So, you gave him a little shove, hopped up onto the cold tile, and brought him close. His body stood between your legs, your feet immediately wrapping around his torso so that he could stand still and close, enough so that you could try your best to fix the damage from his fall.
“If I wasn’t bleeding, I’d rather enjoy this position,” you could hear the handsome smirk in his voice, even as you grabbed a handful of tissues and placed them under the running water of the sink.
“Oh, shove it,” you chuckled, taking one of the wet tissues and turning to face him. He was still pinching his nose, but he was now facing you.
You began to dab at his chin, glad that the blood hadn’t had time to dry so it was rather easy to wipe off. He didn’t wince, but then again, you imagined a majority of the pain was probably in his nose. George had a high tolerance for pain, which was something that was probably built up after years of testing products on himself. Especially those damn nosebleed nougats.
“Oh, wait, I’m an idiot,” you scoffed, pressing the tissue to his face with one hand as you reached for your wand with the other, “Let me fix your nose first.”
His eyes widened at the sight of the wand in your hand, and he shuffled back a few inches, “Merlin, are you sure? You’ve never fixed a nose before.”
You tossed the used tissue into the bin before grabbing another one, this time holding it right against his nostrils, “Just let me do this. It’s one spell, how hard can it be?”
The hesitation flashed through his eyes before he slowly nodded his head, “Fine, fine, I trust you.”
Through the nervous beating of your heart, you managed to smile. Those three words caused all of your unease to drift away, your focus landing solely on the one word you had to mutter.
He took a step back, this time in confidence.
Instead of making the poor man wait in pain while you went over the consequences in your head, you lifted your wand and spoke, “Episkey.”
The crunch was quiet, but George’s eyes shot open and he bit down on his lower lip, a muffled shout of pain getting stuck in his throat as one of his hands grabbed your thigh, giving it a squeeze that was bound to leave a bruise.
“Oh, Merlin, are you okay?” you asked, tossing your wand aside and placing your hands on either side of his face. His cheeks were awfully warm despite how pale they had just become, and you felt the tenseness of his muscles as he stepped back between your open legs. His grip on your thigh didn’t lighten up, and you felt a surge of guilt bubble up into your belly.
“Georgie?” you asked more softly this time, one of your hands running through his sticky hair, “Did I make it worse?”
He shook his head, not exactly speaking, but giving you the answer you needed, “‘s fine.”
You gave a small pout, taking your hands away from him to avoid causing overstimulation. Though, as soon as your hands left his skin, he put his own hands on yours and guided them back up into his hair.
You gave him a puzzled look as you began to run your fingers along his scalp again, but he quickly answered your silent question, “Feels nice.”
His smirk returned to his lips and you rolled your eyes, immediately realizing you fell into his trap, “Oh, you little git. You’re fine, aren’t you?”
His laughter echoed in the small bathroom and managed to ease all of the worry and panic that was swarming through your mind, “No, it does hurt, but it’s not that bad. I do really like you playing nurse though, love. I should fall off my broom more often, yeah?”
You tossed a tissue at him, your own laughter bubbling in your chest, “Don’t you dare think about it, Weasley.”
“C’mon, love,” he grinned, bringing his face closer to yours, only to have you push him away.
“We are cleaning up the mess that is your face before you kiss me,” you smirked, holding up another tissue. He rolled his eyes and let out a groan, but he let you continue dabbing at his skin until he was all cleaned up. His nose was left with some light bruising, but you barely even focused on that after his little painful performance he decided to put on.
It really was never a dull moment.
———————————————————————
two
George’s birthday came around way too quickly for your liking. You remembered New Years Eve as clearly as if it were yesterday, and now here you were, on April the first, knocking loudly at his door at nearly eight thirty in the morning.
It was still early in the day — you guys would be headed to the burrow for dinner with his family in the late afternoon — but you decided to pay him a little surprise and pop by his flat with a few gifts and sweets in the morning before being whisked away. You always enjoyed the private moments between the two of you, and this was no different.
His face appeared in the doorway mere seconds later, his hair sticking up in countless spots, and his baggy jammies hanging loosely around his body. His cheeks were flushed pink at the sight of you standing there; a bag of gifts in one hand and a plate with a tiny cupcake in the other, one little candle on the top with a flame that you had enchanted not to burn out until he made his wish.
“Happy birthday!” you grinned, flashing him your best smile despite the urge to laugh at his disheveled appearance. He seemed to have just gotten out of bed. You had spent the night with George before, usually if he had the next day off and the two of you could laze around in the morning, and there was one conclusion you could make from it.
George was not a morning person.
However, through his sleepy state, he shot you a bright smile, “Look at you, coming by to be my gift.”
You rolled your eyes as he moved aside, letting you walk into his flat, “I’m not the gift. But I do come bearing some.” You placed the bag on the floor and stuck out the plate, handing him the cupcake. His smile never faded as he took it from you, holding it in one hand and the other went to his chin, pretending to ponder.
“What are you doing?” you asked, eyes scanning over his furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips. He looked deep in thought.
“Gotta make a wish, right?” he replied, “Though, you’re all I could ever wish for and you’re right here.”
You felt an eruption of fluttering in your chest at his sweet words — he really was quite the flirt — but you brushed it aside and removed your coat, placing it on the hook behind you before turning back to him, “Make your wish, you idiot.”
He smirked, shooting you a cheeky wink before he closed his eyes and blew on the candle, the little flame dying down quickly.
“See?” you chuckled, now removing your shoes so you could properly enter the flat, “Was that so hard?”
He stuck out his tongue, one of his fingers dipping into the icing of the cupcake. You were too busy focusing on carrying the bag of gifts, however, that you hadn’t noticed his icing covered finger reaching in your direction. So, as you turned back to face him, it smeared across your cheek.
“That’s what you get for being mean on my birthday,” he raised an eyebrow, proceeding to walk over to the couch in the living room, your own footsteps following closely behind him. The icing was sticky against your skin, but you were too busy trying to get even to even bother wiping it off.
You finally caught up to him, grabbing the cupcake out of his grasp and holding it away from him, scooping up some of the icing and smearing it across his lips. 
He looked quite amused, nodding his head slowly as he started licking his lips, “Nice try, love.”
“Oi, just shut up and sit down,” you scoffed, grabbing a tissue from the end table and wiping the icing off of your face, tossing the tissue in the bin before reaching over and grabbing a box out of the bag, “Now. Let me spoil you, yeah?”
You sat next to him on the couch and placed the box in his lap.
He leaned over and pressed his lips against your cheek, placing a delicate kiss before pulling away, “You already spoil me enough just being with me.”
You shook your head and let out a laugh, motioning your head in the direction of the box once again, before he finally proceeded to open it.
It didn’t take long for him to go through his gifts. Five boxes later, and he now had a few new things for around the house. Not that he needed appliances, really. He was a wizard. But he had mentioned to you a few times that he was starting to attempt doing a few things the “muggle way.”
“This is all brilliant,” he grinned, one of his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you into his side, “Thank you, love.”
You leaned up and pressed a light kiss on his jawline, not missing the way his body shivered at your touch. It brought you a sense of pride, honestly, the fact that you were able to have this affect on him.
“However, there is one more gift to open,” he said, sitting up from his spot on the couch so quickly it nearly knocked you backwards.
“There is?” you asked, peering around the flat to see if there was another parcel. Maybe Fred had stopped by to give his twin a gift before the party at the Burrow.
“Sit right here,” he held up one finger before bolting into the bedroom, disappearing from view for a few moments. Maybe his parents had dropped something off?
He came back into the living room, a box in his hands with big letters on the side that read Y/N. You furrowed your eyebrows as he placed it in your lap, a pleased grin on his face.
“What the bloody hell is this?” you asked, not even masking your confusion, “It’s your birthday, in case you’ve forgotten.”
He nodded, the smirk still on his lips, “Why, yes, I haven’t forgotten. But I figured for my birthday, what I want to do is spoil my girl.”
You shook your head, letting your head fall back onto the couch cushion — the couch that had once belonged to his brother Bill before he moved in with Fleur — and let out a laugh, “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“Just open it,” he placed a kiss on your temple, your heart in your chest feeling like it was about to burst.
You let out a breathy laugh and began to unwrap the box, opening it up to reveal a lumpy knitted sweater, the first letter of your name written out in the centre of it. It was perfect. Homely, and clearly made with love. You knew Molly knitted these for her children every year, but you didn’t expect to get one so soon, let alone ever.
“Oh, George. Your mum made me one?” you asked, voice filled with awe as you picked up the jumper, holding it against your chest as if you were hugging it. This honestly meant more to you than you could express.
“No,” he grinned, one of his hands rubbing the back of his neck, “I actually made that. Mum taught me a few years back and I never thought it would come in handy, but here we are.”
Your eyes widened at his words, heart so full that you could barely find the words to reply. If you weren’t so shocked, you might find yourself word-vomiting a bunch of lovey dovey nonsense. But you couldn’t. You honestly couldn’t speak.
“You’re part of the family now,” he broke the silence, one of his hands finding its way into your hair and giving a small twirl, “I want you to know that.”
You felt an itchiness in the back of your throat and you knew your emotions would get the best of you, so instead of speaking up, you decided to toss your arms around his neck and hold him as close as possible, the new jumper squeezed between the two of you as if it were holding you together. Which, in a way, it was.
George really was amazing, and there was no doubt that you were starting to fall for him. But this gesture, this gift, was beyond that.
It showed you that maybe, possibly, he was the one.
———————————————————————
three
Two days after George’s birthday, which had been a long and tiring evening at the Burrow celebrating another year of Fred and George, you found yourself feeling a little under the weather.
It was most likely not from Molly’s meal assortment, but possibly from standing outside in the chilly weather to watch the fun little firework display the twins had decided to put on for themselves. Plus, you were pretty sure Charlie had shown up with a cold as well.
You had woken up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose, your head unfortunately feeling quite congested as well. As if a throbbing migraine was bubbling just below the surface.
To simply put it, you were most likely coming down with said cold.
You had woken up in a rush, immediately reaching for the tissue box to clear your sinuses, but in the process of doing so, happened to wake up the ever-so-sleepy George next to you.
His arm retracted from around your waist and he rubbed his eyes with his hand, squinting to look over at you, “Are you okay?”
His voice was heavily laced with sleep and you felt bad for waking him up, but the gross feeling of sickness was a little too overbearing for you to really worry about disrupting his sleep schedule.
“Sorry, Georgie,” you replied, holding a tissue to your nose, “I think I stood a little too close to Charlie and he passed his germs onto me.”
George’s head fell back onto his pillow, “Git.” You let out a small laugh as he shoved the blanket off of his body and onto yours, all the warmth that his body produced now gone as he got out of bed. A whine left your throat and you reached out, trying to grab his hand and pull him back down.
He tossed on a shirt and turned to face you, “Be back in a second, love. Just gotta do something.”
A pout made its way onto your lips as he left the room, his disheveled morning hair disappearing through the bedroom door. You didn’t necessarily want to pass your possible sickness onto him — you’d only end up feeling guilty and responsible — but you already missed the comfort that he brought when he laid next to you. Even though he had been gone for a total of ten seconds.
You could hear noises as he rummaged through the kitchen, but you didn’t bring yourself to get out of bed. The throbbing in your head would make it hard for you to even have proper balance. You didn’t want to make it worse.
It didn’t take long for George to return, a small tray in his hands and a smile on his lips. You sat up properly, trying to get a peek as to what he had with him.
“For you, my princess,” he gave you a quick wink, placing the tray next to you on the bed.
Your heart swelled. He had brought you breakfast. A plate filled with fruits and a cup of tea sat nearly on the tray, smelling and looking more delicious than ever. Maybe it was because of the thought and love he put into it, but you honestly couldn’t wait to dive in.
“You made me breakfast?” you asked softly, looking up at him as you moved the tray onto your lap.
“I did,” he slid back under the blankets next to you, one of his hands finding yours and giving it a light squeeze, “The tea will help soothe your throat and the vitamins in the fruits will help you feel better.”
The smile on your face was so wide, you swore it reaches your ears, “Georgie, this is so sweet.”
“Well, what can I say? I’m the best.”
You gave him a poke in the shoulder, laughing at his cockiness, “That you are. That you are.”
———————————————————————
four
Unfortunately, George had caught your cold. And he loved to complain about it. Every second he could possibly find to bring it up, he would. Not to blame you, of course, but to milk it as much as possible so that you could take care of him. 
Not that you could do much, really, since you were still nursing your own annoying sickness. But you did try to help as much as you could. You’d made a soup, he’d make the tea. It was a compromise that helped the both of you.
However, one afternoon, when the two of you started to feel better, George had decided to take matters into his own hands and bring a little life back to the flat. 
“Dance with me,” he spoke out of the blue, coming up to you on the couch where you were currently quite content reading away.
“What?” you placed your bookmark in your page, placing the book onto the cushion next to you, “Now?”
He nodded, picking his wand up off of the end table and pointing it in the direction of the little radio by the window. An old tune — one that sounded a lot like the song that played at the Yule Ball, funnily enough — started playing throughout the room.
You shook your head, a small laugh leaving your lips as you placed your hand in his, “Since when are you a dancer, George Weasley?”
“For you, always,” he smirked, leading you to the open area of the room, one of his hands immediately finding your lower back. You felt your chest grow fluttery at his touch, every previous thought leaving your body as you melted into him.
Your hand linked in his, the other one resting against his shoulder. His eyes found yours and he gave you a genuine smile. Nothing cocky or teasing. Just a real, fond smile. 
“What’s this for, then?” you found your voice, the two of you moving in slow circles around the small space.
It wasn’t much, and neither of you were good at it, but it was romantic. You hadn’t even noticed that George had used his wand to light a few candles, the light of the flames dancing against the walls. 
“What?” he asked with a slight upturn of his chin, “Can’t a bloke just dance with his girl?”
You ignored the feeling of your heart swelling and gave him a grin, “Yes, actually. I think he can.”
The music was soft, but it was enough to really set the mood. As if you were a princess dancing with her prince, the world disappearing around the both of you and leaving you alone to dance under the moonlight. Or, really, the two of you alone in a small London flat. But a girl can dream, right?
George’s chest was warm as you pressed your forehead against it, revelling in this feeling of privacy and intimacy. You felt untouchable. 
“You’re really special, you know that?” his voice was soft, mouth close to your ear as he mumbled the words. 
You pulled away just enough to look up at him. There was something in his eyes — love, pride, admiration, or something similar — and you really did feel like you were all he could see. Like he had eyes only for you. 
“Could say the same about you,” your voice matched his in softness, eyes darting back and forth between his eyes and his lips. 
He beat you to the action, though, as he tilted his head down and closed the space between the two of you, warm lips pressed softly against yours. A million different feelings bubbled in the pit of your belly and you swore you would crack under the heavy blissful peace that soared through you. 
You loved him. 
There was no way you could deny it. 
Especially as the two of you stood there; lips moulded together as if they were meant to be, your bodies pressed against one another, and an unspoken mutual feeling of adoration passing between you two. 
You really did love him. And you hoped he loved you back. 
———————————————————————
one
The water of the bath was awfully warm. Perfect to contrast the gloomy grey skies and heavy raindrops that came down loudly against the window. For nearly mid-April, the weather was still awfully dreary. 
George’s fingers traced up and down your arms, causing goosebumps to rise in their wake despite the warmth of the bath water. It was warm enough to cause light steam to build on the mirror, and for the two glasses on the edge of the tub to build condensation, but not warm enough to deter your body’s natural reaction to George. 
Your head was resting against his chest, one of his hands against your skin and the other in your wet hair — which much to your dismay, was let down from the ponytail in which it was previously in. George’s orders, of course. 
“You smell nice,” he mumbled, his head leaned back against the tub, his own hair sticking up in spikes after he dipped his head under water, “So do I, actually.”
“It’s the soap, you goon,” you giggled, “That’s what soap does.”
“Goon?” he lifted his head, causing you to turn around and face him, your own body still resting against his, the feeling of his bare skin against yours causing a warmth to spread in your chest. 
“You’re a cute goon, though,” you winked, lifting one of your hands to flatten down his hair, “So it’s fine.”
He nodded, “Right. You’re lucky I love you.”
Not only did it feel like time stood still, but it felt like the both of you did too. The water went silent at the lack of movement, and the eye contact between the both of you felt so prolonged that neither of you could blink. 
Did he just say what you thought he said?
You knew, undoubtedly, that you had fallen head over feels for the ginger boy in front of you. He was the perfect partner in every sense of the word, really. He was caring, he was gentle, he was exciting, and he loved you. 
“You love me?” your voice felt as if it were bound to crack. You didn’t want to move or sit up, too afraid to disturb the moment. To break the connection that had been built with those three words. 
It was as if he himself wasn’t sure he had said them, but by the light smile that graced his gorgeous freckled face, you could tell he meant it. 
“Yeah, I do,” he nodded, “I dunno why it took me so bloody long to say it. But yes, I love you.”
A weight felt like it had been lifted off of your shoulders at the confession, a wave of powerful emotions threatening to smother you in replacement. 
“I love you too,” you didn’t even hesitate to say the words as you were so utterly sure of them. 
The tips of his ears turned a light shade of pink as his smile grew, lopsided and genuine, “That’s good, then.”
It was nearly impossible to hide your pure thrill, arms finding their way around his neck in an instant. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his right back around you, holding your body against his as if he were too bloody pleased to let go. 
“I love you,” he said again, so softly you barely even registered. If you were an inch further away, you might not have even heard it. 
You placed a light kiss on the underside of his jaw, once again relishing in the pride that blossomed at his involuntary shiver, “I love you too, Georgie.”
And Godric, did you ever. 
———
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gangrenados · 3 years
Note
Could you do good things and bad things about datiang the Bat boys and Bruce? I ask you for bad things because relationships aren't perfect. Please
This is my first time ever writing for Bruce sooo pls be kind it has been a rough day
•First of all of them are vigilantes which means that they might have some issues separating his hero life with the normal one no matter how hard thet might try.
•They have seen the worst part of humanity and after you have witnessed those kind of horrors there's not turning back. Every imperfection in buildings, locations that have a questionable reputation and people who seem mightily suspicious will trigger their vigilante senses.
•what I'm trying to say here? They can get protective without even notice. After being the one in the line for to long you're afraid those you love might get hurt so you'll try your fucking best to prevent it, right?
Bruce Wayne
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•Bruce has a hard time accepting the love and care of others, even if you have a long term relationship Bruce might be cold and distant towards you.
•He usually doesn't care about his scars since they're consequences of trying his best to help others, but when the time to get naked in front of you comes he's slightly worried you might get disgusted because they're too many.
•Bruce gets silent when you show him pure kind love, a gentle caress on his cheek will make him snap out.
•He'll stare at you without knowing what's the right thing to do, the only thing clear onnhis mind is that he wants this to keep going.
•Sometimes you wish you could wake up or fall asleep with Bruce beside you more often. It makes you feel forgotten. Bruce has tried to stay there when you wake up, even if that means rushing home to take off the suit, slip in the cover and pretend he's sleeping.
•Bruce can be pretty romantic when he wants to. He will take you to fancy places and bought you the most prettiest things in the world, Bruce will be comfortable in those situations, talking smoothly and secure since he's trying to put a little bit of his playboy persona into this to not ruin it.
•But silly things like cooking your favorite dessert or buying a pretty thing he saw nd know it will useful to you, will get him slightly flustered. The man is afraid he might fuck up.
•If you're a mere civilian then Bruce would be petty fucking protective of you, at the point that sometimes make you wonder if he's being paranoid.
•He will install a security system in your house and car, maybe a tracker too because you never know what criminals might do to the partner of Bruce Wayne.
I•t's hard for Bruce to express his emotions and talk about them, he feels like it makes him seem weaker. But when he opens up he will pour his heart into his words, maybe he wouldn't say much, but everything that came out from his mout he meant it with his soul.
•Your fights are horrible, it leaves you both broken and wondering if this gonna be the end. Bruce is too stubborn to back down and you don't want to be the one who goes to apologize first, so you'll end up treating each other with the cold shoulder.
•It's not the type to say "I love you" constantly, he reserves those words for important moments like when he has to go to a risky mission, your anniversary or he will blurt them out when he see you doing something adorable.
•Bruce is a mysterious man and that aspect is not going to change once they start dating. You will feel that he is hiding things from you, which is true, but it will take a lot of persuasion and confidence for him to tell you what is happening or why he does not tell you things.
•Much of his reason is that he thinks that if he doesn't say anything to you you may be safe and happy in ignorance, however, he also does not want to link his romance to his work.
•Connecting in an emotional way with Jason is hard and even when you're there he tends to close and keep a lot of things to himself.
Jason Todd
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•Jason hates how being in touch with his emotions makes him more vulnerable, once they see the light there's nothing that can stop the overwhelming wave of feelings that comes to drown him.
•Once Jason becomes truly comfortable around you he will get clingy. He needs you in order to him feel alright, it's like you bring up a nice part of him he wasn't even aware of it was there.
•You're the nicest thing Jason has ever had so far and he's down to do anything to make you stay. He can stop being Red Hood and live a normal live, change his personality for one you like better, whatever you want in a man Jason can try to copy it, but please don't leave him.
•He's a really attentive and supportive boyfriend, this trait is driven by his need to prove you his total love and attention because that shows he's worthy of your love. But putting that aside, Jason truly cares about you.
•Jason is not really used to receive romantic affection so he might shy away sometimes when he becomes aware of what's going on. It's like his mind can't process that other person wants to be romantic with him.
•Jason can get really protective of you and this worsen a little bit more if you're a civilian who knows little to nothing about self defense.
•Jason is a cuddle monster, having you between his arms is soothing and lovable. He loves this little domestic things, but it's better if he's the one on top of you or hugging because he can get out of the touch easier.
•It's better to not fight with Jason, he's not going to hit you or anything, in fact he prefers to cut his own arm with a fork before landing a hand on you.
•However, he can say some mean and hurtful thigs because he wants to win the argument regardless of how bad the consequences might be.
•It might not look like it, but Jason loves to do the silly cheesy things with you.
•He will engulf you into a tight hug and then give a breathless kiss anytime he comes back from a long mission, having you to cook with him regardless if you know what you're doing just because he thought it would be cute, cuddling with you in the sofa and read a book or just watch a movie (Jason will fall asleep snuggled up to you because he feels safe)
•Jason has night terrors and he can turn pretty paranoid whe he just wake up from a nightmare, so it's better if you stand back for a moment until he calms down and realizes that nothing bad is happening.
•He keeps a gun close to him in case something happens and has night light because he can truly stand to have the whole bedroom in complete darkness, also he tends to keep you close to him when you're sleeping togheter because, even when Jason is asleep, he needs to know you're there.
Dick Grayson
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•Dick is a sweet boyfriend, he's caring and charming to the point that sometimes you wonder if you're dating a prince.
•Dick's supportive of your interests and will cheer you up if he feels like you're lacking motivation. He will praise you and give you a compliment whenever he notices you did something good or when you go to tell him a good new.
•It's hard to have some alone time with him thanks to his busy schedule. Dick can't stay still, he needs to work and protect the city, because he cares about the others but also needs the action to live.
•Dick is a cheerful man, the occasions were he hits rock bottom are odd but they happen.
•And he tends to close himself to the world and drown in his own sorrows for a while. It's hard to see him like this and the worst part is that he doesn't want to ask for help until his mind is a little less darker.
•Dick is a really affective boyfriend, he will grab your head and pepper it with kisses as he says how much he loves it, also he has the habbit to put an arm around your shoulders or waist whenever you're walking together.
•Another thing he always do is pulling you back to the bed and put himself on top of you so you won't go.
•Dick would nuzzle his head in the crook of your neck and give it a kiss before going back to sleep.
•Dick is a man low-key scared of commitment, but will still idolize you.
•It's hard for him to settle down and decide for one thing, he will overthink everything and try to look at your current situation for every single angle possible, however, in his eyes you're a great person, sexy and just amazing.
•He might even twist everything and think you're already dating when nothing really has been confirmed.
•Okay so this one goes for his Titans version: I don't know why, but I feel that sometimes Dick can manipulate your needs and turn them into his own desires, to be more concrete emotional blackmail.
•He could do this unconsciously and without really wanting it, because once he realizes what he did he will feel very bad about himself, which would lead him to isolate himself from you for a while to think about everything he has done and then apologizing .
•It's hard for Dick to do so because being aware of what he has done to you, but he needs you to know he feels deeply fucking sorry and he understands if you want to broke up.
Tag list @bathroom-sand @aterriblelangblr @simpery @strangerthings14 @jyarumu0619 @kellieriddle96 @adarksoul098 @rosethegothamhistorynerd @duckmylife18 @panic-attheplace @malfoys-demigod @darkraven1983 @magicisabluewish @hamdehlesmis @lucy-roo @lovelyartemisa @missmaskedwriter @c0-77 @ginevraxrogers @imagines-fluff-yandere-smut @shadygoateeprincess @nervousfandom @ghost-bitch @silverw19 @thegirlwholovesbooksblog @hecatemacbeth7 @unknowntoanyone @mistalli @screechingghostbananafarm @psych0crybaby @barnowl48 @waroncheer @lady-stirling @ghostly-ginger @greeknerd007 @caswinchester2000 @sara5208 @la-femme-lupita @jasonsballsack @violettessuniverse @wondergal21 @disnerd626 @pree-2003-blog @dreamxcollide @thirstiestpotato
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citadelspires · 3 years
Note
P1 - Given how great you're track record's been for doing hypothetical interactions of Amphibia kids with the Duck kids and Owl House kids, let's try doing the Duck kids meeting the Owl House kids and who they'd like the best. I'll exclude Violet for this for the sake of evenening things out 5 to 5. I'd assume Luz would get along best with Dewey (both jump into adventure), King with Louie (could see em teaming up for a scheme), Willow with Huey (eh, more leftover interaction but can work)
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Screenshot of second half of the ask provided. Text: P2 Gus with Webby (would totally ask each other lots of questions about their species), and Amity with Lena (both got abusive figures they stood up to and would totally talk about their crushes on Luz and Webby LOL). Would love to see you take on Duck kids and Owl House kids interactions.
First of all I’m very pleased to hear you find my track record on these posts good, they’ve been really fun to write and it makes me really happy people like them! Second I am so sorry it’s taken so long to get to this ask, it’s a really in depth one and it took a long time to write, I hope you’ll find it was worth the wait!
Aight! Oh and one last thing real quick before I get into it. I hope you wouldn’t mind me adding Violet back in, partially due to the fact I love her, but mostly because there’s actually another owl house character I think works significantly better with Louie than anyone else and I really want the chance to talk about that. Saving that one for last hehe. This’ll be another long one, writing below the cut.
Luz and Webby So I do like a lot of the possible interactions brought up by your suggested grouping but my mind went in a few different directions. I’ll start with Luz, who would fit in best with another excitable adventuring partner, as pointed out, but I think the best fit for her in that regard would actually be Webby. While Dewey would no doubt get along great with Luz, there’s a special element to the potential relationship between Luz and Webby that really elevates the potential of their friendship to another level, that being: they both want to eat a hamburger.
An aspect of Webby I wish the later seasons of the show got into a little more, but is definitely something I would consider a core part of her character, is the fact that she got held up in the mansion her whole childhood, with no opportunities to interact with the world around her, have all the adventures she wanted, and most importantly to just be seen as the kid she wanted to be. And while Luz was technically able to go out into the world, the place she found wasn’t one that was willing to see her, or give her any of the chances she longed for. Both Webby and Luz fully understand that feeling of being trapped in your own life, of finally getting the chance to break out and just doing your best to make the most of it. I think there’s a lot the two could gain from spending some time together.
(Also, to borrow the bit about gushing about their crushes but from the other end, these two would totally get sidetracked talking about their respective crushes and also trying to play wingman for each other. It’s a massive comic disaster in both cases, but somehow both Lena and Amity manage to find it endearing).
Amity and Violet Okay wait lemme explain. While the two of them don’t have a whole lot in common at first glance, I think they would genuinely get along extremely well. While a lot of Amity’s focus on school came at the force of her parents, you cannot honestly expect me to believe that girl isn’t a studious nerd on her own anyway. Heck even outside the realm of studies she throws her full dedication into literally every single thing she does. Remind you of anyone? Beyond just being extremely intelligent Violet is clever and ready for anything. She takes everything in stride and always has a plan, she can go from “we were sleeping over and you said everybody get on the plane, so we got on the plane” to “I brought an axe” in a minute flat.
I like to think the two of them would have a mutual respect for each other based on their respective intellects upon first meeting, but as they become closer friends they find they can move from more serious respect to a casual enjoyment of each other. I would go as far as to say that both of these characters really value dependability in a friend, and that they each provide a lot of that. To wrap back around to the stuff about intelligence I think Violet could provide a lot of insight to Amity as far as showing her that pursuing studies and academic heights of her own volition can be something that she can just do because she wants to, and that’s no excuse for unhealthy parental relationships. Getting along so well with someone like Violet only to see that her parents are actually really loving and supportive, that would be really eye-opening for Amity I think. For Violet’s part she could get a lot of help from Amity as far as her pursuit of the secrets of magic goes. I suspect Amity would be much more interested in the study of her magic than Violet would be able to get Lena to tolerate lol.
Bonus Round: Amity would absolutely be a senior junior woodchuck and she would love it you cannot convince me otherwise. She starts quoting the JWGB around the owl house kids and they all look at her like she’s crazy.
Lena and Willow I feel like this one might seem a little out there at first but trust me on this one. Initially Lena doesn’t think too much of Willow, being as close as she is to Webby she knows liking flowers and cute things doesn’t mean Willow is automatically to be taken lightly but she feels like she’s got a good read on her that she generally prefers to avoid trouble and turns down opportunities for violence, which isn’t really Lena’s deal. Over time Lena figures she was right about her first impressions as Willow doesn’t seem to take many opportunities to expose some hidden power, even when Lena knows the people around her kinda deserve it.
She learns to adjust her opinion when she finally does get the chance to see Willow in action and realizes that girl is more powerful than any of the other kids she’s met in the boiling aisles bar none(yes this is my genuine opinion of willow if you don’t think she could kick your ass you’re wrong). It’s at that moment where she starts to pay more attention to Willow and notices a lot more of the strength she puts into all the little things, how much she cares for everyone and everything, and it does a great deal to show Lena that maybe having super strong magic powers isn’t mutually exclusive with being kind and gentle. And maybe gentle isn’t her thing but still, it’s nice to know.
For Willow’s part she’s just happy to make more friends. Especially if the opportunity arises, as I like to think it would, when they’re close enough friends, that Lena would start to hint around asking questions about how Willow remains so casual and nice with the ability to do so much damage, and Willow takes the chance to help Lena figure out her magic a bit more, and learn how to better appreciate it as an aspect of herself she doesn’t have to be scared of. (I mean come on Lena never really learned how to do any of it except barely kind of from Magica of all people she could really  use something like that).
Huey and Gus Now there are some certain things about Gus that would drive Huey absolutely nuts. His lack of primary and reliable sources for any of his information being a big one, but at the end of the day I think he’d enjoy Gus’ desire to learn in the first place. Gus would probably be a little dubious about Huey’s “sources” and “citations” but if it helped him get more info on the human realm he’d certainly go for it in the end. In that way the two balance each other out pretty well. Gus is studious and intelligent but he’s a little off the wall, he’s got a big creative streak, and he’s really excitable. Huey is really really good at facts and analysis but he lacks the strength in imagination that Gus has. Huey is able to take all the grandiose concepts Gus is able to think up and help make them actually happen. Gus has that specific brand of an adventurers soul matched up with the fact he’s not actually the type to get into danger and fights, meaning he’s able to drag Huey out of his comfort zone a little and help him reach new heights with his mind that his struggles with creativity prevent him from reaching, while managing to not make him feel like he’s actually in danger. I actually believe the two of them together could get some really incredible stuff done.
What I’m saying is that with Huey’s help Gus could absolutely complete his tunnels under Hexside.
Dewey and King Now this, this is the pair who would go incredibly well together, at the detriment of literally everyone around them. If there is one person King “I Will Rule Everything” Clawthorne should not be exposed to its Dewey Duck. Within minutes of meeting each other the two of them would immediately have so many bad ideas. Between Dewey’s insistence on being the best and most daring adventurer while putting his name on everything and going down in history & King’s trying to rule everything and everyone, the attempts to raise the stakes would be constant and the two would spend literal hours endlessly trying to one-up each other. All in one day they search for legendary treasure, discover an entirely new civilization, try to take over said civilization, create a new species just to name it after themselves, and build statues of themselves in the middle of Bonesbourough. And that’s all before lunch.
Louie Here it is. The one I waited till the very end for out of sheer excitement. I even kept the second name out of the heading thing. That’s how secretive I’m trying to be about this. See, there’s one character in the owl house that works so well with Louie it’s practically canon. Their interactions have so much potential, they each bring so much to the table, I just couldn’t Not talk about it. And yeah, I know this ask was specifically asking about the owl house and ducktales kids, but I just couldn’t resist talking about the relationship between Louie and Eda.
A con artist from another world who was so successful she became nationally famous? There’s no way Louie would pass up an opportunity like that. For his part I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already managed to set up another underworld identity in the boiling aisles, or at the very least that Eda could totally have been to the ducktales realm and heard of his one there.
Either way I’m convinced the two of them would start planning a heist as soon as they figure out who each other are. Eda is a little prideful and wants to show this kid he can’t out-con her, but Louie knows what he’s doing just as much. Honestly with the two of them combined Eda wouldn’t have to worry about losing her stand for a long time. Over the course of their planning and seeing Louie in action Eda begrudgingly gains some respect for the  kid, and while Louie was definitely just using her as a learning/profit opportunity at first, he’s pretty susceptible to getting attached.
For Louie, it’s the fact that she actually respects him for being good at what he does. Even back with his family who all love and care about him and all that he still feels like most of them don’t really get what he does or see what’s special about him, so having someone who made a whole life of it be even a little proud of him feels really nice.
And of course, at the end of their heist when they finally have the money in hand, and Eda just casually hands over his half, he stares at her like she’s crazy.
“You’re just.. Giving it to me?!”
“Well, yeah. That was the deal wasn’t it kid? I mean if you really want I definitely have a few ideas for it.”
“No! Uh, no, thanks, I’ll keep it. It’s just that you really remind me of someone, I guess I was expecting something else.”
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life-rewritten · 3 years
Text
LOVELY WRITER EP 2; THE PRICE OF AMBITION; SACRIFICE OF AUTHENTICITY, TRUTH AND IDENTITY
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Okay Let's crack on. I'm annoyed at myself that it took me this long to finally calm down and just write this analysis out. Basically, because real life can be a b*tch and get in the way. But this episode also showcases how the reality of life can get in the way and make us lose our values, self and ideals. Lovely Writer has been this amazing experience so far; each episode I just want to shout out, at how real, meta, and deep this show is. It makes me so happy to see a BL show that has so much depth even it is not meaning to be, what I see from this show is incredible and I’m in love with it so far. If Episode 1 focused on putting on masks to get to achieving your aspirations and hiding yourself; Episode 2 hones down on that message and also shows our characters making sacrifices of their truths, authenticity, and identity in order to survive the environment that they’re in to make their dreams come true. This theme is both as painful as illuminating, it really exposes and brings up questions about a lot of truths about our characters, it makes them so much more real and human but also foreshadows and leaves hints about the obstacles that our couple will have to face. Also, it tackles this sinister feeling that the show has when focusing on the love story brewing, is the love real, is it toxic, should we be worried? Why is Nubsib so secretive and eery? But actually, just a full exposure to the message of the show? So, Let’s analyse episode 2 and the theme of sacrifice of Authenticity, Identity and Truth, and why this is a foreshadowing to the rest of the show up ahead.
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Gene: Sacrifice of Connectivity and Relationships
This episode of Lovely Writer aka Nubsib was just as great as episode 1. Maybe even more disconcerting and layered. One because on the surface we see the love story of Gene and Nubsib brewing, Gene is being forced out of his comfort zone with a struggle, and Nubsib has laid out his plans to finally get his attention. On the surface we immediately start of with a typical contract living trope in the storyline, Gene finding ways to still have his personal space and focus on what he has to write that day but finding himself becoming more open and convinced to let Nubsib in and break down some barriers he has always had with the outside world. Especially with how his home is  so dear to him; is a safe space, that he doesn’t really want any intruder, or distraction wading in and making it uncomfortable for him. In a way Gene is so relatable; this what an introvert does, he protects his space and where he feels the freest from the clutches of people. He protects himself where he feels the most vulnerable because he’s afraid of being corrupted, used or hurt. It’s a metaphor, or well the house represents him because Gene is someone who for some reason does not like letting people in, you could say it’s his introvert nature, but it seems more than that, he doesn’t even let his own brother into his space, he doesn’t bother to really interact with people in any way shape or form, and each time he has to do so it’s full of anger and resentment at whoever is causing him to leave his space. Maybe he views people as obstacles to distracting or taking away his focus on writing, maybe he thinks interacting with people would cause a flood of insecurities to make him slow down with his writing, and ambition. We know he has distant friends especially like looking at Tum, there’s a friendly history with Tum from college bu even still with that, he’s truly okay with being alone and being without people. All he cares about is writing, all he puts his effort in is writing.  And that’s where this theme of sacrifice already starts to play in this episode and show in general. The reality of sacrificing things of importance in order to make it in the industry or to make your dreams a reality.
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 For Gene, everything he puts his effort into is writing, it seeps everything from him: his focus, his time, his self-care, his sleep etc. He’s someone who’s just content creating and writing, it’s like that’s how he escapes the world and finds his own comfort, where he can be his true self. The house is a metaphor of Gene, because Nubsib has to find a way to enter into it, this isn’t easy to do but also we start to see him help make it even better, even more accommodating, even less chaotic. Nubsib entering ends up actually although forceful and uncomfortable; improving the living condition of Gene, he offers him back everything that his focus on writing and ambition lost him. He offers him the self-care, the food, the cleanliness, the time to do something else instead of always just focusing on his laptop, he helps Gene find a healthier way of doing what he’s already being doing. But also, he changes Gene’s perspective and knocks down a few walls, because he starts to realise that living with someone isn’t as bad as he feared: it’s actually the opposite.
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So Nubsib does this thing where his actions lead to Gene coming of his comfort zone and discovering about life and people which in return helps him discover more about the authenticity of the story he wants to write. This is why it’s so easy for Gene, each time he’s challenged by Nubsib’s actions to get inspiration and have a clearer answer to what he wants to do with his story. Because that’s all he cares about even if he’s uncomfortable with writing a BL genre, he just loves to write. Because he’s always had this shallow mindset towards the genre, he never really focused on finding inspiration in the truths about the genre, in seeing where there could be more to the genre than what he thought it was on the surface, (a theme of this show) but once he meets Sib, his attitude towards writing becomes different because he’s starting to see that authenticity and see the other truths to creating a romantic love story.It also probably shows how inexperienced he is with relationships, I mean for someone who truly doesn’t want anyone near him, it would make sense again that that’s an aspect of things he chose to sacrifice to focus on writing before Sib no one’s really caught his attention and he’s probably not seen the point to it.  So, it is a fascinating look into these two’s love story already, although there’s a sinister feeling about Sib and his character motivations, we can already see how he’s affecting Gene even in his flawed, messed up ways. It’s nice to see that there’s a positive impact on the writer and it explores why it’s so easy for Gene to slowly let his inhibitions go and trust Sib and give his heart to him later.
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 Nubsib knows how to get Gene to truly look deeper into himself and question his desires and needs and wants, even as he manipulates the situation in which he gets a kiss from the script reading, it’s more about how he does it. Although it’s manipulative it’s the question he asks Gene that ends exposing Gene’s question about the truth and authenticity and his own feelings that he actually puts into his writing when it comes to BL. As writers it’s only when you are using your honest voice and feeling truly passionate and connected to the story, is when you see that inspiration and words pour out. And for Gene that’s the issue, he’d prevented himself from being truly connected with the genre he was writing, he followed typical rules and ideas that he saw as basic and shallow but he never thought to embrace the writing process and truly relay his own opinions and ideas into a story. Once Nubsib asks him that question of how he felt when he wrote his scenes, Gene realises that the key to unlocking his story is being authentic and focusing on the feelings and not the tropes/rules in the story (another similarity with the show itself). I think that’s telling, again how Nubsib affects him even though he uses probably problematic methods to do so. In a way Nubsib just being his flawed self, is what Gene needed to grow and unlock more to understanding his self and his truth. The show also uses that to showcase again the theme of authenticity vs pretence or fakery,  because seeing their story unfold on the surface is tropey and forced/cheesy at times, but really there is a depth there to how they’re both affecting each other, although they’re pretending to kiss in the scene, there’s real feelings that have been unlocked since the first moment they locked eyes with each other, and although there’s a questionable part about the authenticity of some of the aspects of the relationship (Nubsib), the show isn’t running away from showing what these two have is real, automatic and in a way needed. So, it’s just layers upon layers of this idea of reality vs pretence in this show.
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Nubsib: Sacrifice of Authenticity and Identity
Let’s talk about Sib because he’s such an interesting character when it comes to this theme of sacrifice. One because he’s someone who we are not sure we truly know, he’s hidden, he’s manipulative, two-faced, and secretive. It’s such a weird experience to see that what Gene is feeling is real and is helpful and needed, when it comes to Sib but it’s also scary because it leads to the question: is Sib a good person, does he have good motivation or is he just creepy? And in terms of sacrifice, it seems like he’s not losing anything to get his way and to be with Gene. But the thing I love about this show is again, the book/show is actually named after him (Its second name), Sib is actually the most important metaphor and message that is connected to the theme of authenticity vs fakery in this show. On the surface he’s someone who looks like he has everything, I mean it’s pretty obvious he has power and privilege over certain things (including wealth, the car he lies to Gene about is probably his) , the way he carries himself, and the way others bend to his will is hidden but it is hinted throughout the show. Tum has no choice but to listen to Sib and be ordered by him even though he’s the one who’s meant to oversee him as his manager. And Sib already had an audition prior to even meeting Gene in the other one, it was just for show, he had already been accepted into the role of Khin.
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And it’s telling because he’s also good at playing this role of Khin who’s possessive and orders his lover around and tries to get what he wants with anger and power. Gene doesn’t think Sib would be good for this role because on the surface he sees Sib as someone gentle and naïve and slow, but ironically Sib is like Khin maybe without the problematic anger but from what we see or hear when he’s without Gene, he does order people around, he’s prone to disliking everything and having a sour face each time he’s in a situation with others. It’s only when Gene appears does his mask go on and he becomes this soft hearted, lost actor needing direction personality. So, the first sacrifice, if you can call it that about him is definitely his identity and authenticity to get to Gene. And at first, I wondered why this is a sacrifice because to me it seems like a great thing to get rid of if his character is anyway close to the character, he plays on screen Khin, but actually he’s sacrificing his power and control when it comes to Gene. There’s something about Gene that makes him want to be different. Something that exposes how he views himself. The reason why he becomes this act, is because he’s trying to be perfect for Gene, this exposes so many insecurities about what he thinks about himself, although it seems like he gets his way all the time, and his fans worship the ground he walks on, people let him do whatever he wants but it exposes that there’s something missing, something he had to lose to become this way. And the first one is identity/character, we’ve seen already the hints that this industry leads people to having to make sacrifices about who they are, to put on masks to get to where they want to go, to be put in a state of self-hate, insecurity about needing to change themselves for the worse to become successful. And although we’re watching him gain the success now, I think Nubsib is a product of that sacrifice of character/identity.
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Perhaps the reason why he’s so cold and cruel is because he’s someone who was nurtured in a toxic environment that showed him how to get power by being that way, the reason why he’s calculating and manipulative on the surface is maybe because he had to always be this way to get what he wants. Whatever Gene is to Sib is opposite of whatever he’s had to go through, it’s clear he knows who he is, he’s determined to be helpful to him and show him he cares about him and needs him if we take his first words to Gene in the audition as foreshadowing how he truly feels about Gene. But whatever Gene did to make him want to sacrifice his riches, privilege, power, and control must have been something he desperately wanted to cling to, to grow and become who he was. Because for me it looks like Sib has always had to deal with the ‘pressures’ of being in the spotlight already, he’s already constantly followed by fans, (sacrificing his privacy, something that will end up becoming his biggest obstacle later in the story when he’s with Gene), he’s already prone to being objectified and pressured because of the effect this show will have on his fanbase and prior to the show
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. His sacrifices point to the same ideas of rich privilege/pretty privilege where he’s probably been neglected, misunderstood, unloved although he comes from a great/privileged situation in others eyes and the way he’s had to get what he wants is to put on this façade of coldness and indifference, and also maybe that’s what he’s to attracted to in Gene is the authenticity that he can’t find anymore around him especially looking at how he interacts with Aey. It’s clear he sees him as someone who’s inauthentic, it’s clear he’s used to how the acting industry works and what they expect of him, so I can see him feeling like he’s surrounded by fakery and shallowness (like Gene thinks he’s also being forced to create and surround himself with, in his writing) and being so pulled to the fact that Gene feels real, and probably from their past, that’s what Gene always represented to him. Like maybe safety, maybe care, maybe authenticity. So that’s what I mean by him having to sacrifice his authenticity and identity for his own ambitions. But this is just my first theory about why he’s the way he is. Because what he’s had to sacrifice will come back to get him, it’s because of his lack of authenticity/truth to Gene that will cause him to lose him, it’s because of his lack of privacy that will cause him to lose Gene, it’s because of his pressures faced in the acting industry that will cause him to lose Gene. So yeh he’s an interesting character to keep an eye on because he’s not just a one-dimensional puppy that gets his way, he’s going to be a victim, he seems very intriguing and important to notice, especially since the novel/show is named after him.
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 Hin: Sacrifice of Morality and Self
The theme of sacrifice starts being truly shown in episode 2 when we see Hin and Aey/Mhok. It’s an interesting switch from the tone of the show, where everything is loud, cheesy and full of sound effects (which are done on purpose because it’s to emphasise the comedy effect that the show is trying to use to hide its message), to immediately showcasing characters that are clearly not okay, struggling and dealing with the truth of their hurts and desires. We first are exposed to this by seeing Hin. The more we get to know his character, the more I am truly afraid of what they’re trying to lay out for him, because if it was me, Hin is going down a secret villain arc, mostly because I already mentioned he’s someone with a mask, he’s peppy and happy on the surface and eager to follow and be inspired by Gene and his success (which Hin sees it as), when he him self is struggling to be taken seriously with his writing. We see in episode 2, the sacrifice he has made to make this dream a reality, first of all he’s had to sacrifice financially living well, he’s not making money because he’s not being noticed, compared to Gene who is completely serene and well of because of the results of his own writing and creativity. Hin is struggling to keep up with the demands of reality vs his want to follow his dreams and ambition.
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Another thing he’s sacrificing is also his family/ relationships, I mean by distance and choosing to follow his path, it’s clear he misses being with them and he misses having someone who is close to him, but he’s had to move to come to this situation to make his dreams as a writer come through. It’s all he wants, and it’s what gets him up from his mini depression in the episode, it’s what makes him gather his strength and proceed to write. And I know this feeling, the feeling of constant worry, anxiety, and depression that you’re not making your dreams happen, but the constant push to want to strive to make it happen because it’s all you want. The thing is, it would be great if Hin is just going to learn a different way in making his dreams a reality but this is a show that’s with the message that this industry corrupts and makes people sacrifice themselves in order to make it and get their ambitions, and as much as Gene and Hin could be close, I sense a brewing hostile thing forming between them, really in reality Gene is Hin’s rival, someone who clearly doesn’t appreciate how lucky he is to get to create these big BL stories that get hit after hit, someone who has his books being turned into a show, someone who’s being noticed but pushes every thing to not be noticed. In my opinion Hin would see Gene as someone who takes what he has for granted, coupled with the snark remarks, and cold closed of energy Gene seems to have sometimes with Hin? It just seems like it’s enough for him to react if worse comes to worse, if desperation reaches it’s limits, I just see Hin’s character choosing to become one of the sad realities of life and ambition in these stories, where he has to find a way to make it to the top no matter what.
It just seems like with the desperation growing and growing to be noticed, to be making money to survive, to prove to his family that he chose the right path, that Hin could snap. But maybe the show is just showcasing the reality of what people like Hin, Me, others have to go through when you chase after your ambitions, maybe it’s just a relatable plot that may end up having a good ending/ character growth, but just because of where the themes of the show seem to really be heavy on, I am going to keep an eye on Hin’s character. If I know Tee, he’s someone who has directed before a show where a character makes us love and trust him and seems happy on the surface only for him to be very warped because of the choices he chose to get what he wants (Lhong from TharnType) it won’t be surprising if Hin ends up becoming a plot twist villain. Sad but not surprising and would match with the reality/meta of the show’s message. 
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 Aey; Sacrifice of Truth and Trust
Let’s put Hin out of the equation and actually focus on our ‘hinted’ main villain Aey. I keep saying he’s probably not a villain, but it is odd to hear Mhok say this episode Aey used to do bad things when he was younger and it’s nice to see him grow from that. With Aey, the spotlight on his character’s mask and actions is very telling, he’s someone who feels abandoned, hurt and betrayed. He’s resentful and he’s determined to make it. From episode 1 knowing the number of hardships he’s had to deal with to be an actor (like his queerness, his insecurities, lack of charisma etc) who’s as known as Nubsib is really fascinating and important to see. Episode 2 emphasises this determination again, he’s had to brave it and defy his family rules to choose to become an actor. He’s had to sacrifice his relationship with his family to try and make his dreams a reality. He’s had to put on a mask and become someone else on the surface to make his dreams a reality. And he’s had to sacrifice his own confidence, his own idea of self to please the fans and become an actor that’s successful. He’s even had to hide his queerness to fit into the industry, to be chosen. It’s through his determination that he overhears Sib talk about the audition and shows up, unlike Sib who’s asked to be placed in the audition easily, Aey has to fight to be seen and noticed.
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You start to see this pattern with both Hin and Aey how they mirror and expose the privilege that Gene and Sib actually have in the industry though they don’t see it as that, well Gene doesn’t, I have a theory Sib also doesn’t but it’s ironic because from Hin and Aey’s perspective Gene and Sib are in amazing positions, are lucky and have it easy but they have to literally crawl and struggle their way out to make this dream they have a reality: to become noticed, to be taken seriously, to be successful in what they want to do. And Aey is 100% just like Hin is to Gene; a mirror character to Sib, he’s just as manipulative, just also sacrificing his authenticity, and identity to become better, to get what he wants, he’s choosing to become a wolf in sheep’s clothing just like Sib. And that’s why I like this show, the character’s mirror each other to showcase the hypocrisy, flaws and mistakes each character has. No one is a villain or a bad person per say, they just all have issues and are all humans but mostly are all victims in this industry.
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Again, it’s the industry that is the main villain of the show. That’s incredible, and meta, and real. So Aey is someone who has this energy of someone who also feels unloved, neglected, and abandoned because he clearly feels hurt by whoever Earn is. I don’t know why people think she’s his girlfriend, he’s apparently gay so I don’t think so, but she gives me maternal vibes, she gives me older sibling vibes. Her story is that she also sacrificed her dreams in order to fit the mould of the family’s values and wants to survive. So she represents the opposite of Aey, she’s a reflection to his failures in his head if he doesn’t make it, she’s probably daddy’s favourite, or responsible, always doing the right thing whilst Aey is seen as a nuisance and her presence probably reminds him of that hurt and abandonment that heHi’s felt because of choosing to be who he is. For me the reason for why he’s not speaking to her is because he’s the one who’s been hurt or neglected by her, she’s trying to make amends because she knows she’s the one in the wrong and judging from her character introduction she either tried to make him stifle his wants and needs or she hurt him by betraying him in order to seem responsible and survive in life. So she’s also connected to the reality of the sacrifices people make to survive in the world and get their ambitions; the theme of the episode.
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 it's interlinking to relatability of ambition, but it's also connected to the struggle and why people become who they become; flawed in the industry. And that’s why Mhok is so fascinating to this story, I think he’s a love interest to Aey, and mostly because the rules of this show is that the person who’s connected to exposing authenticity and making the other confront the truth about their selves is the reason for why love is needed and valued. Mhok is someone who knows Aey without the mask, he clearly cares and wants to do what’s right, he’s here to ensure that Aey is fine and doing well. Mhok is someone who is connected to Aey’s real self, past and hurts and he’s someone who is able to stop or call out Aey whenever he goes too far. So the question is what is Mhok’s actual ambitions, why is he doing all this for Aey/Earn, what is his goal? Right now I think he’s screaming jilted lover or he has feelings for Aey and this is how he protects him, there’s little hints he does care, he gets a little weird when Aey is flirting with Nubsib in episode 1, so he clearly doesn’t like Aey pretending or being close to Nubsib in that way. Either way he’s going to be playing the role of Aey’s calming influence/moral compass, the person who grounds him. For Aey to be so three dimensional already as a character, and maybe as a villain is again why this show is good, it’s deeper, it’s real and all the characters are fleshed out, and the plot is structured, planned and good.
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The Price of Ambition
So we have this idea of characters who are making sacrifices;  very sad and unfortunately realistic sacrifices to get to their goals and ambitions, not only have they all sacrificed a piece of their authenticity to fit into this harsh environment, but they’ve had to regress their characters, their self, and mute their own voices to survive and reach the end where their dreams become real. Ambition is a real thing, we all want to get to where we goanna go, achieve our purpose, or fulfil our dreams, the reality this show portrays is true, it’s so difficult in this world to be successful and get to where you want to go, without losing your voice, without becoming full of insecurity and without feeling cold and vicious due to the abandonment, neglect and betrayals experienced during the journey. Life is never easy but at the same time, this show places a huge focus on being authentic, on still following your heart and fighting your voice to be heard, it also showcases the facets of humanity; how yes we can be flawed, we can be lost and we can become different to our values, but real self-love, genuine romantic love and hope can help us fix those things, find a way back to who we’re meant to be, but also succeed after all the effort and tries. There’s still positivity and a chance to make things right by confronting the reality of the situation, by finding our selves and knowing what we stand for. 
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So, I’m not worried about Lovely writer being this toxic message of Nubsib manipulating his way and getting away with it, it’s more than just this surface BL love story, it really about watching these humane characters grow and learn. Nubsib is going to have to learn and grow and deal with truth of the industry before him and Gene can actually settle and get that happy ending, and they have a lot of trials and obstacles to deal with that will transform him, grow him and expose him to wanting to do better and wanting to take of his mask. Gene is someone who doesn’t like the shallowness and corruption of the industry and so he’s someone who’s going to go through his own journey and learn about how maybe it’s not just only the truth about the genre, I also think with a little bit self-discovery of knowing his truth and doing what he wants to do at the end. And I know this is really deep for me to be analysing this show, but I always knew Lovely writer would be relatable, and to be honest I’m shocked at how real it is, even though it’s still being disguised as a romantic comedy BL. Tee clearly had a goal of exposing and being as real as possible whilst still offering the joys and entertainment of a love story. This is all I could ever ask for in a show and a BL, I think it’s incredible where this show is going, and I can’t wait to see where things play out. Even if like the show didn’t mean to be this deep, and Nubsib ends up being like the devil or something, or this ends up truly being toxic, it was fun to see this show for now as a media piece that means something, that reflects something and makes you think about yourself, and your dreams, ambitions, and goals. And that’s something I’m grateful for.
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thedeadflag · 3 years
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I’m so confused! I know it’s not your responsibility to educate me but in your post bringing awareness to the negative aspects of g!p fanfic you say
“Why do these g!p characters rarely if ever involve experiences reflective of trans/intersex women? Why are they so utterly cis and perisex-washed? Why do nearly all writers have zero idea that tucking is a thing? “
Doesn’t that answer your original question? The reason they don’t reflect those groups of ppl is bc g!p isn’t trying to represent those groups of people or else it WOULD be transphobic to limit them to one specific fetish right? it just refers to a canonically female character with the addition of a penis (I don’t argue the name “g!p” should be changed bc that’s a no brainer why that could be offensive). But the fanfic in general, how could it be harmful? I’ve noticed in my time reading it as a non binary person it’s given me great gender euphoria reading a reader insert where reader has a penis while being a femme representing person just bc that’s a reflection of my personal experience. I don’t see anywhere where g!p fanfic ever references or tries to emulate the experiences of trans or intersex people so how could it be offensive?
Sorry this is way too long I’m just very confused
I'm going to try and lay this out as politely as I can. It's after 3:30 in the morning here, so this could be a bit disjointed and rambling. More under the cut:
In real life, ~99.999999% of women with penises are trans women. Which puts us in a tricky situation of (A) being the only women with penises around for media involving women with penises to reflect back on, and (B) being in the lovely position of precious few people actually having had meaningful real life exposure to trans women, meaning (C.) all those stigmas and all that misinformation are going to purely affect us and it’s going to be uncritically gobbled up by the masses, since they don’t have any meaningful information to fill in the blanks with instead.
When we peer into the depths of femslash fandoms and see all these folks who aren't trans women writing about women with penises, and using cis women’s bodies as platforms for these penises, it’s the simplest thing.
I mean, some of those folks might actually be struggling and confused about why they’re into it, what the real appeal is, why they get off on it, why they might have some feelings about wanting a penis of their own…
…but from our vantage point, it’s really easy to gauge 99.99% of the time. We can generally see valid, legitimate yearning to have a penis pretty damn easily in a piece of art/writing, and we can also see when people who create this media are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization.
And 99.9% of the time, the creators are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization, and see trans women’s bodies as a perfect vehicle to tap into that, generally due to deeply held cissexist views that link us and our bodies and genitals directly to cis men, to maleness. As if penises are rooted in maleness and masculinity (which is absolutely not true).
And I have sympathy for NB folks (certainly TME ones who have reached out to me in the past about this) who might be struggling with that, but just because they’re non-binary, it doesn’t mean they get to appropriate our bodies and reproduce transmisogyny and trans fetishization in their attempts at feeling better. Shit doesn't work like that.
Because again, the only women with penises in this world, essentially, are trans women. Meaning any woman with a penis in media is a trans woman, implicitly or explicitly. Meaning that when people who aren’t us want to write us, intent doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if it’s just the writer’s fantasy, it’s still going to attach a variety of messages directly onto us.
And more often than not, due to cissexism, those messages are linking us to maleness, to toxic masculinity, etc..
While I do want to believe they're a fairly small minority, a lot of NB folks in fandom spaces like g!p characters in part because they see penises as male and the rest of the body as female and think that duality is interesting and would be comfortable, and is a nice balance of “both worlds” or a nice position “between male and female”, but that’s a wholly cissexist, transmisogynistic view to have, and it’s one that absolutely cannot be supported without directing sexual violence against trans women and invalidating our entire existence. Certainly not all NB folks into g!p like it for that reason, but holy shit a fair bit of them do and it’s weird and wrong and fetishistic.
g!p emerged from the idea that women can't have penises, and drew on the transmisogyny and cissexism of tr*nny porn to structure that frame of desire and the core patterns and trends within these works. It's always been trans women's bodies being used as a vehicle, whether or not the writers of these fics are explicitly aware of it, because the trope itself still holds true to its original patterns and cissexism. It's not the name that's the problem, it's the content; changing the name would be a surface level change that wouldn't affect anything.
g!p objectifies women with penises (trans women). A woman with a penis is more than just a woman with a penis, but the use of the term and trope is literally to (A) remind people that women don't have penises, otherwise the g!p term wouldn't be needed if people actually accepted women with penises as women, and that (B) this is a story centered on a scenario where there's a woman with a penis, with key focus on that genitalia specifically. it's the drawing point, it's the lure, it's what everything is centered on. It is a means for folks to write lesbian sex while also writing about penis in vagina and getting off to it. It's also no surprise that the penises so clearly emulate cis men's penises in these works, that is by design.
As I’ve said many times before, if you’re only writing trans women’s bodies to showcase cis men’s penises, you’re not respecting the womanhood of trans women, and this ultimately has nothing inherent to do with penis-owning women, it has to do with (cis) men and their penises, because trans women are just being used as a vehicle to emulate them. When NB folks do the same thing, and imagining themselves as those g!p characters, they are ultimately embodying cis men, their maleness, and often toxic masculinity, in a way that feels safe and distanced enough for them, a shell that they often code as cisnormative due to their own unprocessed cissexism.
And trans women don’t deserve that.
You seem caught in the idea that if something doesn't directly perfectly reflect trans women, that it can't be linked to us., which ignores the long long history of media being used to misrepresent marginalized peoples and cast us in insulting, dehumanizing lights. You show a lack of understanding of the g!p trope and the long history of its usage across a few other names, even if the content and patterns remained the same. It shows a lack of understanding of tr*nny porn and transmisogynistic stigmas, which the trope draws heavily from.
I think we can all recognize that most 'lesbian' prn that's made does not represent actual lesbians, it's overwhelmingly catered to the male gaze. We can also recognize that this category of porn has led to a lot of harassment towards lesbians from cis men who at the very least want to believe lesbians are just like they are in the porn he watches, that lesbians just need the right man. Lesbians are being used as a vehicle for a fantasy that was created externally to them, and doesn't represent their realities.
It's the same kind of situation here. The way g!p fics play out overwhelmingly doesn't reflect trans women's realities, but they are inherently linked to us regardless, as we're the vehicles for those fantasies, as unrealistic and harmful as they may be.
g!p characters are built in our fetishized image that’s based on a deeply cissexist misunderstanding of us, of the gender binary, and of bodies in general.
I mean, when 99% of cis folks don’t understand how trans women tend to be sexually intimate… when they don’t understand what dysphoria is and how it works and how it can affect us physically and emotionally…when they don’t understand almost any of our lived experiences…then they’re not going to be able to accurately portray us even if they wanted to.
And I’ve read enough g!p fics where authors wrote those as a means of trying to add trans rep, but because they didn’t understand us at all, it wasn’t remotely representative, and it was ultimately fetishistic, even if there was an undercurrent of sympathy and a lack of following certain common g!p patterns there that differentiated it from the norm.
If g!p fics were at all about reducing dysphoria or finding euphoria, then it wouldn’t be explicitly tied up in the performance of very specific sex acts, very specific forms of misogyny and toxic masculinity, very specific forms of sexual violence and exertion of sexual power, etc.
But it is.
So the notion that creating g!p fics helps NB folks? Nope. It CAN certainly prevent/delay those folks from facing a whole boatload of shit they’ve internalized, and coddle them at the expense of trans women.
Because if it was really about bodies and dysphoria/euphoria, there would be a considerable push (allying with out own) to end our fetishization and to represent us in and out of sexual contexts with accuracy, respect, and care. Because they wouldn’t care what sex acts were performed and what smut beats were hit, they’d just want to see someone with a body like their ideal being loved, being sexual, connecting, being authentic, etc. Which very much is not the case in the overwhelming majority of g!p fics. That's what we want, and it's not what g!p writers want, it's nothing they give a shit about.
Like, a ways back I started doing random pulls of g!p fics from various fandoms and assessing them for certain elements to provide some quantitative clarity. I started on The 100 here, and did OuaT here. Never finished the 100 one since the results leveled out and stayed pretty consistent as the sample size grew, so I didn't really see the point in continuing any further after about 140 fics when the data wasn't really changing much at all.
Lastly, media influences people. I've read countless posts and comments from people who use fanfiction as a sex ed guide, in essence. Which is ridiculous, but I also know sex ed curricula often isn't very accurate or extensive in a lot of areas, so people take what they can get. Representation in media can be powerful, and when it overwhelmingly misrepresents people, that's also powerful. Just because fandom is a bit smaller than televised media, it doesn't make that impact any lesser, certainly not for those whose primary media intake is within fandom.
Virtually all trans representation in f/f fanfiction is misrepresentative of us. That has a cost in how people understand us, how people react to us, and how people treat us. Not just online, but in physical spaces, and in intimate settings.
I invite you to read that post you referenced again, or perhaps this longer one which is a response to a trans guy who seemed to feel something similar to you with this trope.
All I can do is lay it out there and try to explain this. It's up to you how you handle this. All I know is whenever there's a big surge in g!p in a fandom, trans women generally leave it en masse, because it's a very clear and consistent message that we're not valued, respected, and that people value getting off on us over finding community with us.
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ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years
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(1/2) isn't it hypocritical of you to pick on cql fans for their purposeful misreading of canon (which some do, i'm not denying that at all) and then turn around and do that to someone who hasn't said anything critical of mdzs? that person was just listing the merits of each adaptation and you just tore into them as if them saying that cql has any merits at all is an insult to mdzs.
2/2 for example, you pick on the three bows thing, but that is novel canon too and cql shows multiple instances of people bowing in respect only twice, so it's not insanely far-fetched that the three bows are read as an acknowledgement of their marital status. anyway, you're perfectly free to see it as bows of respect, but there's little need to ridicule someone who says they see it differently and that they like cql because of it.
3/2 and i'm sorry if i'm taking too much of your time, i guess i'm a little upset because i've always seen you as a voice of reason in the fandom. to see you make multiple posts tearing down what is an uncontroversial statement (that canon and all adaptations have their own merits, and people shouldn't be judged for preferring one over the other) is a bit hurtful. you say you don't hate cql, but you certainly seem eager to shit on anyone who has anything nice to say about it? 
Hi anon,
I’m not sure I’d consider it hypocritical. I don’t think I’ve ever operated with the caveat that I should only be critical of the arguments of people who have been critical of the book in turn--I guess the baseline is that I am critical of all things I come across. I am not likewise sure I’ve “torn down” into that person or “ridiculed” them. I’ve quoted one part “all adaptations are equally good” and said (yes, as per usual, in a bitter and pretentious tone): “at least take the subjective route of equally enjoyable”. I don’t see how that’s being extremely mean about cql: my view was more that it irks me, for a lack of a better word, that people truly just push aside all the very real issues at a technical level (aside from anything that has to do with the writing or creative choices) that prevents cql, imo, to be considered comparable to other adaptations like the audio drama or the donghua even if it is not my particular cup of tea--but that this does not mean I said that c/ql cannot be enjoyable. I guess I have my issues with people generally being unable to distinguish with a well-made piece of fiction versus one they enjoyed. And that I am still a little bit flabbergasted that it remains a controversial statement to explain that c/ql, despite trying very hard, has many issues that directly impact it’s ability to stand as a well-made tv series.
Then, I think a few days later, I showed the arguments being leveraged by that same person to argue c/ql was just as good or what it ‘brought’ to the table that the other adaptations didn’t (partly because they were representative of many others I had encounter) and ‘responded’ to them one by one underlining how I was left unconvinced by them. I mentioned how one argument in favour (it includes more emotional scenes of wwx crying and being angry) could be read as a failure of the adaptation to stay true to the characterisation of the main character, who is textually said to rarely cry or get angry. I questioned whether it was such a “win” for c/ql to include more scenes of wq and jyl considering how we can infer why this change too place, and how it focuses on a quantitative reading--it’s less a ‘the book handled female characters sooooo much better’ argument than a a ‘we’re really going to give kudos to a tv series because we saw the female characters more often, regardless of how this impacts their characterisation, agency and impact on the story on a narrative and thematic level or why this change likely was made?’.
Then, the three bows thing. I won’t pretend to be an expert here, but my understanding which has come from discussion with Chinese or chinese-diasporic people, is that the third bow must be to one another (bow to the heaven and earth 一拜天地, to the parents 二拜高堂, then to each other 夫妻对拜). We can consider the three bows a wink-wink from the production team because that was the best they could do in the circumstances, maybe. But can we say that these can really be read as an “acknowledgement of their marital status”? It’s different from the novel because wwx talks about reserving that third bow to one another for later. This relates as well to the way fandom have sort of exaggerated aspects of CQL due to misunderstanding certain cultural or linguistic aspects of it, as we have with people being convinced zhiji must always be a grand romantic declaration. Is it a crime to choose to interpret/headcanon these things that way? Of course not. But does it make for good arguments to argue c/ql brought something special to the table that the other works didn’t? I don’t think so.
Overall, I won’t pretend I don’t have a very bitter and pretentious way of phrasing things but I do wonder if that’s where I consider it gets into ‘ridiculing’ territory--I didn’t call them names or anything, I just responded to their points. But the truth is, as you might think that I am targeting that person, whoever they are, for ‘liking c/ql,’ that’s just how I am in general, about all things: I am critical of any arguments I hear and I have no filter. I’m actually trying to be courteous by keeping my responses to my blog, not reblogging from their posts, cutting off the person’s profile picture or name, etc. because in any case more often than not they simply represent to me an illustrative example. Hell, I even get to re-read how I worded things which makes them come out way better than in real life.
You can of course consider that I was out of line! Perhaps it is the pitfall of considering a person a certain thing. Even if you think of someone a “voice of reason” you might also consider that some of the stuff they do or say is a little bit unreasonable. We all draw lines differently. Just because you generally agree with someone does not mean some of the stuff they say or do won’t make you shake your head in disapproval. And if you dislike these posts of mine but still want to stay for the rest, you can blocklist “brine corner”. Unfortunately, although many have tried to change this, I am an incurable critic who is terminally and brutally honest.
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canyouhearthelight · 3 years
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The Miys, Ch. 136
This chapter was a chance to explore some more science-based tropes that I absolutely love in stories.  The truth is, when I’m working at my day job, I love listening to documentaries on Curiosity and YouTube channels like Answers with Joe or Kurzgesagt. My love of science fiction actually comes from my love of space and astronomy, not the other way around.
In no way, shape, or form, does this chapter cover any of the concepts in question in full. It’s just a quick convo between Sophia and a good friend ;)
My thanks, as always, go to @baelpenrose, @the-raven-fae, @charlylimph-blog, and @anotherusrname. Plus all of YOU!
Even as my mind wandered, I couldn’t help but grin a bit as I took my weekly stroll through the corridors of the Ark with Miys in tow.  For several years now, we had a standing appointment on my calendar that both Alistair and Tyche treated as sacrosanct - just some time for me to spend with our host, my friend, and learn more about each other.  When I had originally arrived on the Ark, any time I was seen walking with them, other humans would give me odd looks, but never approach.  Now, people would recognize me, smile, and wave, but still never interrupted the strolls.
It was nice. Like my weekly family dinners, it was a routine, pleasant part of my life. Especially days like today, when we were entering the dawn-cycle and each day became a little brighter. It made me wonder about other civilizations, ones that would have evolved in conditions like the ones we were adapting ourselves for. How did it affect them? How would it affect us as generations passed? Future generations were certainly going to be shorter, due to the high gravity. Would it change our technological advances as well - 
“Wisdom, why are you thinking so hard about Gestrcht Clusters?” Miys interrupted my thoughts.
“Hm?” I asked absently. “What’s a Jestrick Cluster?”
“Gestrcht,” they corrected mildly. “Gestrcht clusters are a type of civilization that has adapted to live in artificial platforms surrounding their sun, in order to better harness the solar energy, radiation, or heat needed.”
“You mean a Dyson swarm?” I tried to clarify, confused.
“All of the galaxy calls them Gestrcht clusters, therefore I think that is what you mean.”
“Alright, alright,” I laughed, holding my hands up in defeat. “The reason I was thinking about Gestruck clusters - “
“Gestrcht”
“I will work on it. The reason I was thinking about those is… I was wondering how living on Von will change our priorities. In our history, those constructions were something that fascinated both imagination and science - something several people thought was our launching pad to a Kardashev Type II civilization, or the singularity point. Maybe both.”
“Kardashev…” they hummed for a moment, thinking. “Only humanity would create goals of technological advancement that required destruction on a multi-planetary scale.”
I desperately wanted to object, but strongly suspected they were right. “So we were wrong, again? There are no civilizations out there that would fit what we imagined for a Kardashev I or II race?”
“I will concede to the existence of species that you would consider both. However, it is not how you believe it to be - humanity would never have been able to accomplish it without greater sacrifice than they have ever known.”
Oh boy. “Tell me? I want to understand why other species could do it, but we could not.” My curiosity needed to know.
They held up one of their liw, rocking it back and forth in imitation of a human head tilt. “Species that have managed to harness all of the energy produced by their planet, and not destroy their environments, have historically been those who had very little power to harness to begin with. These civilizations come from either very harsh, or very gentle worlds - never anything in between. Abundant wind energy scouring a planetary desert can greatly benefit a species who can harness that wind to temper it and create a paradise. A planet with no atmosphere, but incredible amounts of geothermal energy runs little risk in being able to direct all of that volcanic activity to its benefit. But Earth?”
“Is a deathworld,” I pointed out. “You said so yourself.”
“This is true, but it is not a deathworld in the way So’Kn is, for example. Preeyar and So’kn are planets that are lethal for very singular reasons: So’Kn is a frozen waste of permanent night and eternal wind. It is so harsh that only So’Knor can truly survive there with without significant technological assistance. Preeyar only has atmosphere in its valleys, and that is thinner than most species can survive, much less the fact that there are no liquids on Preeyar. None. The air pressure is too low to allow it for any chemicals that are naturally occurring, and the atmosphere violently reacts with any elements that could exist in liquid form. It is, in fact, believed that the rift valleys were caused by simply an icy meteor impacting the planet.”
“Ho-lee shit,” I whispered.
“I doubt many cultures would find it holy at all,” they joked drily. “Whereas Earth… There is no one singular quality about Earth that classifies it as a deathworld. Instead, there are several, each stemming from the abundant forms of energy offered by your home world.”
“Seriously!?”
“Indeed. And the combinations thereof. The length of natural disasters that are possible, alone, is unique to Earth. Tornadoes and earthquakes. Flooding and wildfires. Volcanoes and hurricanes. Methane just rising from your lakes to kill large swathes of people. Lakes below your oceans, Wisdom! Volcanoes below your oceans! It is insanity to the entirety of the Galaxy, and yet humans consider that just a normal aspect of existence.”
“And… what exactly does that have to do with being able to harness all the energy of our planet, exactly?” To say I was confused was an understatement.
To their credit, Miys only reached with one vomu to make a ‘nose pinching’ gesture against its head. “Earth, somehow, is only habitable and so abundant in life because everything exists in a precarious balance. Surely, the last two centuries of your own history demonstrated that. Attempting to harness all of the admittedly prodigious energy of your planet would have ended up destroying that balance beyond compare.”
I tried to comprehend it. I really did. Focusing on what little I knew, I thought about dams. Those were familiar to me - I had grown up in an area that dammed every river and creek possible for everything from grain mills and fruit presses, to artificial fish ponds, to electricity. “Starting there…” it was faster not to explain out loud when I knew Miys was following along with the home game, “Damming a river creates a lake. That floods an area that already has a habitat, and dries out another area that already has an aquatic habitat.”
“And prevents floods that fertilize fields and redistribute minerals from erosion, yes.”
“Right. Times every river, creek, and faint trickle on Earth…” I stopped myself. Every river. The Amazon. The Nile. “And we just washed out what’s left of the largest rainforest on Earth.”
“Leaving more carbon in the air…” they encouraged.
“And increasing the greenhouse effect, increasing heat on the surface, melting more ice, which - hey, more wind, amirite? - but changing planetary albedo, more water, wetter Sahara, no dust to fertilize… South America? Dammit, are we back to killing the Amazon again?”
“That is just one form of energy, Wisdom. But I feel you are understanding the issue.”
“Yeahhhh…” I trailed off. “Okay, so. Kardashev I is no bueno tacos for Earth. What if we skipped straight to Kardashev II slash singularity?” I made a point to focus on the concept of technological singularity very hard, so there would be less need for research on their part. You know, spare myself half a minute or so. “The Gestrkt clusters.”
“Closer,” they admitted, although I was suspicious they meant my pronunciation and not the idea that humanity would ever get there. “Humanity is not… suited, for Gestrcht clusters.”
“Wait, what?”
“Humanity is too curious, too social, and too exploratory. Your fiction abounds with every variation of different worlds and strange universes you could possibly conceive of. And it constantly expanded - your oldest texts involve travelling to your moon, and when you actually reached it, you looked further out - other systems, other galaxies, other dimensions. Gestrcht clusters require such substantial resources and maintenance, there is little left over for exploration.”
“There are humans who would be perfectly content living in such a structure,” I argued, although my heart wasn’t in it. I wouldn’t have been, knowing that other worlds were out there.
“Not enough to sustain it, unfortunately. Not even in what you call the Before.” Lightly resting one vomu on my shoulder, they squeezed gently. “Wisdom, humanity has always wanted to see other worlds. Gestrcht clusters are all or nothing.”
“And singularity?” I asked, barely managing a hoarse whisper.
“It is true that there have been some singleton species that have achieved what you term singularity with technology. Fewer have been successful.” When I glanced at them, all six upper appendages were held up in defense. “Hive minds are uniquely suited to it, and even some of us,” they waved those same six appendages at their torso, “would never accept it. I could never imagine not having the chance to travel the galaxy, to be with other races as they experience it. Add to that, humanity is somehow both individual and social. Removing that line, that choice? I doubt your kind would thrive. Postulate this: Derek, in a hive mind.”
“Absolutely not,” came my unhesitating response, disgust and violence trembling in every limb before I calmed myself. “And I see your point. Integrating technology in our lives, into how we function…” I tapped my head for emphasis, “that’s one thing. It makes our lives better, by making sure that Derek, and others, can have their personal space protected.” The more I thought about it… I never considered the idea in reference to ‘now’, only ‘eventually’. What if we did it now, and I was one of the people - suddenly never alone, always connected to every thought of strangers via technology. What if Tyche was? Or Maverick? Hell, Charly? “I think I need a shower, now,” I admitted, skin crawling.
“Humanity could achieve both,” Miys confirmed, although it didn’t feel as reassuring as I had hoped it would at the beginning of our conversation. “But I don’t think humanity would truly want to live in Gestrcht clusters or singularity, given any other choice but extinction.”
Laughing, I wiped a tear from one eye.  It was a bitter truth, but still true. “I think you’re right.”
“I may be wrong,” they countered. “As I said, there are singleton species who have made those transitions and the entire galaxy is better for it.”
“Some hope that we weren’t entirely wrong would be nice right about now,” I mumbled as I scuffed my shoe at the floor. There wasn’t anything to kick except Else-puffs, and that was just mean as fuck.
“Most species that made a transition to Gestrcht clusters early in their development are belligerent, insular species. The fact that they must focus all their efforts and resources on maintaining their platforms prevents them from becoming actively warlike. As far as ‘singularity’... singleton species who thrive in that transition are often species who cannot thrive on a galactic scale otherwise.”
Huh? I craned my neck to try to look up at them in the perpetual-dawn light. “What do you mean?”
Miys flicked a datapad open - one I know they only wore for our sakes, seeing as they could not actually see anything on the purely-optical screen, I had learned. They could only navigate it if interacting with a human, so they could ‘see’ what they needed to tap out.
Needless to say, Charly and Grey had been working for years on one that responded to sonic commands.
Eventually, a seven-fingered flick caused my own databand to chirp. I flicked it open to see the file. “They… Noah, this looks like sentient pollen… or feathers…” Realistically, any description I tried to create fell devastatingly short. The being on my datapad moved as though it was floating on wind, with tens of thousands of filament-fine tendrils swaying and navigating. The sound it created reminded me of the sound of snowfall, if snowflakes could sing opera. “They’re beautiful,” I sniffed, driving back tears at knowing something so breathtaking existed.
“They also cannot survive off their planet, unfortunately. Even the transition out of their atmosphere is lethal to them.”
My heart shattered into a million pieces. “What is their name?”
“No one knows for certain. But they have achieved a sort of singularity - once they have matured and reproduced, they upload themselves at the end of their very brief lifecycles. In the Galactic Community, they are known as Odvub.”
“Odvub…” I whispered, holding out my fingers like I could actually touch the screen.
“Outside of a Hujylsogox rescue ship, it is nearly impossible to avoid encountering Odvub. Most believe they are some sort of galactic artificial intelligence, and they prefer to allow that belief.”
“Why are you telling me this, then?”
“They have permitted it, when these sort of questions are asked. To show what desperation is required for a singleton species to thrive in singularity.”
I sniffed, desperately trying not to cry at their situation. “Do they know about humans?”
“They may be the only species who could not avoid knowing about it. But Odvub believes your people are hearty, and adaptable, and should never suffer their fate. They advised, in the event that your people ever ask about singularity, to do this…” Miys gently cupped my cheek in one liw and patted it, “and tell you that you will never need to resort to what they had to do, and that they look forward to meeting your people one day.”
“Obviously not face to face,” I admitted quietly. “I have allergens that are more substantial than they are.”
“It is considered a great honor in the Galactic Community for this icon to display when  you interact with Odvub.” Miys gestured at the vicinity of the image on my datapad. “Only those who know why, know why it is an honor.”
“We’ll take it,” I laughed, tears streaming down my cheeks. “All of humanity may never know why, but we’ll take it. If I may tell Arthur, we probably will know why.” He would see to it. Loudly, angrily, derisive of anyone who mocked it. “Regardless, we’ll take it, all the same.”
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detectiveconnor · 3 years
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You talk a lot about connors strengths, and the positive aspects of him as an individual (which I absolutely adore reading)
But I'd be curious to know what some of his weaknesses are? Some of his flaws 👀
Ooooooh thank you for this question anon! I appreciate it, I love him very much and his weaknesses are as much his as his strengths. I am not putting this under a readmore because it is very good and so I’m leaving it out. Here are some things about Connor that are a little weaker than they could be: 
1. His (lack of) diplomacy. Connor is a trained negotiator and when it ‘matters’ in a sense of urgency he is very good at his job, but Connor can be dry and sarcastic with people he’s decided he doesn’t feel like tolerating. There’s a lot of room for social faux pas and the use of the wrong language he’ll brush right over or etc etc (Connor is very patient), but when someone says something that strikes him as cruel or as trying to take too much or assume too much space for themselves, Connor will cut right to the point in a way that probably isn’t as diplomatic as some of his New Jericho colleagues would prefer. He has a genuine tenacity for cutting through ‘shit’, as he puts it: sometimes this can help other people involved see a side of an issue that they might not have seen so readily if Connor had not been there. Other times it can be sharper than what other people might go for - Connor will not sabotage negotiations, but he also will executively decide, ‘this is shit and they know it. But just in case, I’ll remind them.’ 
It is a weakness in that he can see straight through these people and it is not something he can turn on or off. If Connor has a truth to share that he thinks is worthwhile sharing, he will share it. Yes he’ll try to do it in the right company - but sometimes, he thinks, people should have a thick enough skin to accept being called out. 
2. He is very intuitive, to the point he can be blinded by an instinct in one direction even when someone explicitly tells him the opposite. This is something to do with trust issues, maybe? Connor will trust his gut, more often than he won’t. He likes to take people at their word, but he is willing to press sometimes if his instincts or evidence tell him something else, and he is not always well equipped to handle the situations he gets into because of it. Connor will always show up (it’s who he is and I love him), but there have been times where he’s stepped on toes by mistake because someone says A and he thinks he sees B instead. This happens ... if it’s about their emotions this happens less with the people he loves, and there are a handful of people he will leap blind for in what his gut says is the wrong direction because they give him their word that there is something to land on. But ... he has stepped on toes before because he thinks he knows. It’s a problem. He always apologises. 
3. He can think about the notion of a conversation more than actually having a conversation. He only does this rarely, but I have noticed sometimes if he is trying to talk about something difficult or raise a subject that doesn’t fit well into the conversation, he will try to set up a dialogue path in that direction without ... telling ,... anyone outside of himself about this plan. He will eventually just say it, probably, or decide it wasn’t important. Part of this weakness is that he reaches for the ‘right’ way to talk about things that hurt, and yes he’ll eventually just say it ... but if you catch Connor fishing for something, ask him what he’s skirting around / tell him to ‘cut the crap, what do you mean?’. He will appreciate the opportunity. Connor sometimes feels ... ‘nobody asked currently here now this instant’ means nobody cares to know. 
4. He’s very private, and though friendly, doesn’t consider a lot of people to be his friend. This isn’t a weakness necessarily, but there are more people who consider Connor to be their friend than people whom Connor thinks of as friends. Connor really doesn’t like to feel like his privacy is ... being entreated on any more than he would like it to be. He often permits cameras and questions from the media, being ‘the deviant hunter’ - but there is a firm line in the sand and they will not get so much as a toe over that line. There is no flexibility in it at all and he will permanently put a ban on any reporter who tries to cross it. This has to do (and he will not say this aloud) with the way he has once-upon-a-time thought of Amanda and the word ‘violating’ in the same sentence. His business, his head, his thoughts, his work, and his self are all his. He is willing to share what he is willing to share. If people try to take more, he will Stop Them. 
5. He has difficulty slowing down. Connor is very good at his work and he enjoys it immensely. It makes it difficult sometimes to see that he would benefit from a break, or that it is a good idea to step away a little. Sometimes Connor’s close friends will have to tell him he needs a break before he notices it himself - Connor will eventually notice, but he ... really does get caught up in work. Meet-ups with friends can turn into a conversation about work or what he’s hoping to do next or - just because he enjoys what he does, and it’s on his mind. When he gets to be present with his friends and loved ones, he is very happy about it. Connor has to actively choose that sometimes, but it is nice when he does. 
6. He will not budge at all whatsoever on the things that he has decided are non-negotiable. There are a lot of things Connor is willing to bend on - he will bend but not break, bend until there is that point of Absolutely Not and he will stop moving altogether. You won’t shift him. His privacy is one of these lines; also cruelty, asking him Not to be a Detective, taking agency from someone, trying to take agency ... Connor values a bit of ethical flexibility and he uses it often, to find what he feels is the best outcome. But there are hard lines that he will not compromise on at all, and regardless of how good those lines are that is nonetheless a weakness. 
7. Quick to assume responsibility for things that he could theoretically have stopped. Connor does not have a guilt complex, but he will say, “I should have been faster,” with regret about a situation that he just wasn’t quite ‘good enough’ for. This has some perfectionism vibes, and that’s something Connor will... yes. He moves on quickly enough, but there is that, about him. This is a flaw for the fact that he assumes personal responsibility for every situation he might have affected - Connor is not personally responsible for every preventable thing that ever happens in his presence. He is stretched thin. Connor is fair to himself, but he will readily assume responsibility for things where ... he just ... didn’t manage to do what he needed to do in time. (There are many people who just wouldn’t try.) 
8. He is sometimes more curious about people’s emotional experiences/how that looks/how that emotion is experienced ... than he is about how to help them. This typically won’t be too much of a drawback for him, but he has definitely caught himself (been caught!) asking more questions about the emotion than about what they need, or reaching for an interface for the sake of getting a glimpse of what... he doesn’t have some morbid curiosity, he doesn’t want to sit and gawk at people’s feelings, but he does want to know. It is inherent. His curiosity could cost someone something someday, if he is not careful. He’s watching himself. 
9. He hesitates to share information about himself without being asked for it. It won’t always stop him - sometimes he will volunteer things suddenly just because he’s been thinking about them, or someone makes him think of it - but he does have that hesitation to be visible for people he doesn’t yet trust to see him. He... is always there. But he will use more neutral objective language (”I am experiencing a minor error in my program in response to their absence. It will be resolved shortly,” vs “I ... miss them,” the difference in distance and volume-of-self in those two statements) with people he isn’t already comfortable with, because he was trained to (not on purpose: the way someone can inadvertently train a dog to behave only when its owner is around. Connor was Trained as one might train a dog, and he was too smart not to learn who he was performing for.) 
10. There is a whole part of him that is willing to... that doesn’t ... rule out ... death. He doesn’t want to die even a little at all remotely. But, say, if Amanda were to come back and seize control again, Connor wouldn’t be able to justify staying alive (the risk that poses to the Android cause! Because Connor has done everything he possibly can to keep her out, already, so if she gets back in that means he cannot stop her. If she comes back that means he cannot stop himself being a threat to everyone around him). There would be ... gosh. There would be out-loud considerations and conversations about it. He would want to have that conversation with the people he loved, ‘if she comes back...’. Just so they know, so they don’t think they ‘missed’ something (he wants to live he wants to live he wants to live he wants to live), but .. for the record. He is prepared to die. He readied himself in the Garden on the night she tried to rob him of himself, and he barely escaped with his life. Connor has been ready ever since. 
I am going to stop here! I hope these help you Anon <3 I love Connor very much. Thank you for asking! 
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A sharp knife and a broken heart (TUA)
Hi y’all 
with the new season on the way i thought i should re watch the first season and finish my little deep dive on the characters so far I have done Grace, Number 5 and Alison  I have focused on one aspect of the characters and expanded that to show how it shapes and even evolves over the season.
today i will be looking at my fav knife wielding mama’s boy, Diego.
[note I did not finish this one and I can’t find the strength too, so I’ll post the draft, so whatever]  
I have touched on Diego in another post, here! basically this post was about the time line of events that lead up to and after the funeral. to summaries, Diego was the first to the house after hearing that their ‘father’ died, and then covered up for his mom before everyone even got to the house. now that is just a logistic’s post.
what i am looking at today, is the main or at least one of the main parts of his character. A deep dive into one thing, I will be looking at Diego’s broken heart.    
now its no secret that Diego feels and cares more then he lets on (especially with Luther but i will get to that). 
lets lay out what we know about Diego 
1- he was the first to leave 
2- he was a cop
3- he was and still is the only one still in the ‘hero’ game
4- he loves Grace more then anyone else
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1- he was the first to leave 
now on the first point, he leaves when he is about (what i assume) is 16-17 basically a short time after Ben died. As Diego was one of the first to not take their “fathers” bullshit (5 was the first and got stuck in dooms day prison) 
but i think, both of these events shaped the man he is in more ways then one.
when 5 is gone Hargreeves can “pass it off” as 5′s fault like making him an Icarus tale for the rest of them, and since they where still prepubescent (12-13) they were more incline to believe him. also in ep 2 (run boy run) this scene shows that none of the kids (other than 5) were willing to stand up to Hargreaves and the way he runs things. they all follow the rules and then 5 disobeys and then he is gone. So if that doesn't put the fear of god into then what would.
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but i think this was different for Diego I think is when he started to understand that their father didn’t care about them at all. I think he suspected but this was the first sign of the cracks forming.  so he stepped away from his ‘father’ and went towards his mother, as shown in this scene here
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Diego feelings about grace are very sweet and shown really well in the show. and it says a lot about Diego that he does not see her as a ‘robot’ but as mom. i would say that it is very likely that Diego was the first to call her that, and the last, (ouch i hurt my own feelings). moving back to the point. Diego feels very deeply but about a few people his family (not Hargreaves tho) and Patch, and that’s it. but what his is willing to do for others is pretty amazing (but more on that later).
now we don’t know much about Ben in tua but (and i am going off the comic description as well) he was said to be the kindest and most gentle of all the siblings. so basically he was a good/nice person (or at least the best of them, or on how they would measure it anyway). 
so when Ben died that was the last straw for Diego, my money is on that Hargreeves tried to pull the same thing he pulled with 5, by making it seem like it was Ben’s own fault for being weak and soft. And that was Diego fully understood how little he cared about all of them and so even tho he would not see Grace (which i believe was the only reason he stuck around so long). that trick was not going to work twice so he left.
because if someone as good as Ben meant nothing then what was is he.
2- He was a cop  
now the biggest part about this is two fold 
1- he still wanted to help people he just wanted to do it another way to Hargreeves way.
2- when he realised how little good he was doing and how corrupt the whole thing was so he walked away and started doing things his own way.
the fact he wanted to be cop (and went through training for it) shows that Diego truly wanted to make it on his own. he did not want special treatment and wanted to prove to himself and everyone else he could stand on his own two feet.
now we are not sure of the exact reason why he left the force but it is suggested that he could not stand how little justice and results was actually getting done, however i think there is another factor.
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Vanya’s book. this exposed Diego to everyone around him so everything he did for years to prove himself was undermined in just one whole day. But he didn’t give up he still helped people and did whatever he could to protect people from harm.
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3- he was and still is the only one still in the ‘hero’ game
we know that he was still very much involved with the vigilantly thing. and the only on who is. So despite is hate and anger towards Hargreeves (and Luther to a degree) he still believes in the ‘mission’ of The Umbrella Academy, at least the part about saving people. he is very dedicated to this, to the point that his whole life revolves around it, with 
1- his living situation / employment are at the same place and he would also train there. 
2-  has no real relationship other then the one he has/had with patch (and grace, but i will come back to that)
3- he literally wears nothing else other then his hero suit.
now why would he keep up fighting like this, what is the motivator, i think its two fold.
1- he wants to prove Hargreeves wrong.
he was number 2, second best and second rate (to Hargreeves anyway), and he cared about people more then the ‘mission’ so my money is on Diego ‘letting’ some bad guys go in favour of saving the public or his family. Hargreeves saw that as weakness and “you can’t save the world by helping one person” type thinking on Hargreeves part (cause he is a dick).
so in other words Hargreeves always thinks of the bigger picture the number 1 priorities (much like Luther to a point) but Diego looks at the ‘little’ picture, like family’s, peoples lives and actual justice for people who are suffering/in danger.
so when he does leave he makes a point to still be a hero but does the opposite of what Hargreeves wanted for him which was to ‘save the world.’
So Diego decided to save individual peoples worlds instead.     
2- he never wants any other family to lose ‘their’ Ben 
I think a key driver for all of the siblings was Ben’s death (as is canon), But in Diego it hit home that a family can be broken by losing a single piece of it. and Ben’s death really broke his heart in a way that he would not wish it on anyone and would do everything in he power to prevent. his first line in the series is “Your family is safe now” 
we don’t know who he is addressing with this statement as the family is to close together, and we don’t see his face when he says it. But (and i am reaching here) I think he said it mostly for his own benefit, as this is a family he could save unlike his own. 
and i think he uses and carriers that pain to make sure no one else has to feel it.
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4- he loves Grace more then anyone else 
now this is somewhat obvious, but i wanted to break it down more.
1- like i said before i believe he was the first and the last person to call her Mom 
2- he makes an effort to truly understand her (asking her if when she talks is it like Hargreeves telling her things and if she was angry with Hargreeves) 
3- treats and sees her as a real person (not wanting her shut down, validating her feelings)
4- he covered up a murder for her (or what he thought was one) cause he knows if anyone deserved to die it was his ‘father’ and Grace was the one who deserved to do it ( “he treated you worse then anyone” line for example) .
5- when he saw she was broken beyond repair (or when he thought it was) he shut her down to save her anymore pain.
6- when she wanted to leave his response after asking a question was “you can do whatever you want Mom”   
now all of this paints a distinctive picture about Diego. But the question still somewhat remains, Why does he love her so much? and Why does he care and devotes so much of himself to her?  now Grace is an great mom as I covered in her deep dive so look at that for more, but lets focus on Diego.
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deltaengineering · 3 years
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that was the winter anime 2021 that was
Still not quite ready for a dozen posts about how terrible the likes of Combatants Will Be Dispatched are, sorry. Watch Vivy though, it owns. Here’s some more things that are (mostly) good. As always, worst to best.
Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki S3
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Yatogame has long run out of hot Nagoya facts and its ensemble comedy never amounted to much, so now it seems mostly content to just spam more and more wacky character designs. About the only thing that it has left going for it is that 3 minutes a week are more effort to drop than to watch, so I expect them to make a movie next. 4/10
Go-toubun no Hanayome S2
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Quints is a weird one. S1 was a barely good enough (i.e., well above average) implementation of the ages old harem chestnut. S2 is actually better at the core of its appeal, since it gives all the characters a sharper profile (things like taking Nino from joke to badass and making Ichika a villain are no mean feat), but it does pay a steep price for it. You see, to deliver a steady drip feed of meaningful character moments it apparently has to rush through the source material at a breakneck pace, which completely wrecks the "story" part of this story and makes every episode seem like a recap. And it still keeps wasting precious time on vestigial nonsense like its framing device and the Kyoto flashback scenario that was already the worst part of S1. But by far the most annoying aspect is its insistence on keeping all the options valid, since it prevents any real progress and makes everything seem arbitrary and pointless. So sure enough, after a season of much ado we still don't end up anywhere — you can't really raise the stakes if all at stake was "who wins" to begin with. It's watchable and even enjoyable scene-for-scene but it's getting harder and harder to call it a solid show overall. 5/10
Skate Leading Stars
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I was watching this primarily because I didn't like Yuri on Ice much and wanted to see if something that is a blatant attempt to cash in on it would be better — because while YoI delivers on one aspect (being hella gay), it really is an absolute shambles of a sports show. And sure enough, Skate Leading has none of the auteur appeal of YoI, but it just works much better. In particular I appreciate how it managed to make me care even a little about a cast of assholes, which is a nice contrast to the nauseatingly ingratiating way YoI tries to make you love its characters. Also, Skate Leading is just generally cheap and unambitious, so not susceptible to trying hard and painfully flaming out on the presentation side like YoI is. But at some point you gotta let go of these comparisons and on its own Skate Leading is... just fine, I guess? Competent, mildly engaging, not very memorable. And that's probably where it loses to Yuri on Ice in the end after all, even if I think it's "better". 6/10
Idoly Pride
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Idoly Pride sold itself on me with a really good (and hilarious/tragic) first episode that was just too bizarre to ignore — I mean, how can you ignore GHOST IDOL MANAGERS. Well, the majority of the show isn't like that. It's a competent and solid version of the idol franchise show, yes, but it really had more potential than that. Especially midseason, it gets lost in these dozens of characters, and while they're all likeable, it does seem like a waste of a good story just centered on Mana/Kotona/Sakura. By the end it comes back around to the heart of the matter with a Maeda-style sob story, which could be a disaster but seasoned veteran Jukki Hanada makes it work anyway. Overall, there's quite a bit of ridiculous hacky melodrama in this, but quite honestly that's the best part and I wish it would concentrate more on it. The rest is just okay. 6/10
Yuru Camp S2
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Yuru Camp is still likely the best pure iyashikei show when it gets down to business. Compared to S1 though, this seems to happen less and less. At its peaks (i.e., basically any quiet moment with Rin) it's at least as good as ever, and there's some good cast additions like Mini-Inuko, but it appears that Yuru Camp simply has run out of things you can do with camping and it fills up the time with other... stuff. This stuff includes the generic school club shenanigans it was never particularly good at, and a gigantic helping of crass consumerism. Yeah, I would say the majority of Yuru Camp is just a straight up infomercial at this point, which itself ranges from the perfectly acceptable (which cute anime isn't about food constantly), to the sketchy (I don't know whether the Izu tourism board cut this production a fat check, but if they didn't, Yuru Camp still gives its best effort to make it seem that way) to the highly irritating – I am aware that camping requires gear and you can't just ignore that, but you most definitely do not require whole arcs dedicated to talking about raising funds for the purposes of acquiring the Lamp of Comfy Happiness at your friendly local Caribou™ either. Not to mention an arc where the aforementioned lame school club does the same, for double irritation. Make no mistake, this show is so riddled with scenes that beg for a solution to embed affiliate links in video files that it makes me wish I was watching something as anticapitalist and underground as Love Live. And irritating really is the last thing a show with this core concept, as stellar as it is at that, can afford to be. Bummer. 6/10
SKOO the Infinity
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Skoo has one really huge asset: ADAM, its magnificent villain. It also has one really huge liability: Reki, its not magnificent protagonist. To be more specific, it's very good at anything outrageous, physics-defying and silly, such as most scenes ADAM is in, and quite bad at anything serious, dramatic (in a serious way) and down to earth, such as most scenes Reki is in. So, what's the verdict? Well, the rest of the cast is more ADAM-like, and Reki's co-protagonist Langa is fine as the straight (yeah, right) man. The tedious buddy drama is a comparatively small part of this show, and at least it pays off quite well in the end. Seriously, I was ready to give this a 6, but the final episode is probably the best one of the show, in all of its aspects. That's really not something you see often. Skoo's a great time. Except when it's not. 7/10
Non Non Biyori Nonstop
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Speaking of the rare good ending, what about we gave one of those to a slim and inconsequential slice-of-life show? NNB has always been solid, comfy and amusing quality with a couple of standout moments (usually something with Renge), and Nonstop has that plus an ending as conclusive as any show of this type is ever going to have. Besides, it does a lot of things right by focusing on more characters than the central 4 (especially Konomi has great material in S3), it expands the universe just enough to not get stale, and it moves things forward — It's definitely a lot better than the movie, is what I'm saying. Apart from that, well, we're three seasons in, if you have any interest in this you probably don't need me to explain what's good about NNB at this point. Bonus points for being nothing but an ad for the manga. 7/10
Wonder Egg Priority
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Oh boy, so here's the big one. Wonder Egg is the rare Meaningful Arthouse Show About Real Issues You Guys, as you might have heard. And well, the long and short of it is that it's a very good show with quite a few glaring problems (besides not actually being finished due to production issues, but what we have is enough of an ending to be able to meaningfully talk about it). In particular, one problem: WEP is, at its core, one of these metaphorical Magical Girl-ish series that are just a thin layer of abstraction over coming-of-age or societal problems. The issue is that "metaphorical" in this case means "literal" and "thin" means "basically nonexistent". This show is not subtle regarding what it's about, at all. This is a double-edged sword — on the positive side, some things really should just be said aloud, and I'm really, really fucking tired of the Ikuhara style of "here's some wacky things, maybe a blog post will eventually tell you how it's actually about the most important thing ever" obfuscation — if it's really so important, just spell it out. On the other hand, there are limits to this and when a second, different Ai appears I don't really need a voiceover line telling me that yep, this show is about parallel universes now. WEP spells out many important things, but it also spells out many things that are implicitly clear or better left vague. Not to mention that with being so obvious up front, the show's tendency to leave figuring out what it's actually saying about it up to the viewer can leave the wrong impression. Again, I settled on the opinion that it's subtle after all where it counts the most, but you might easily get the impression that it pulls its punches (Ikuhara does this the exact other way around — once you figure out what the fuck he's talking about it's abundantly clear what he's saying about it).
In fact, this show is so good at subtle, quiet character moments that it calls into question the need for big huge fighting fantasy layer in the first place, especially since I'm not a fan of the fantasy designs and the fights aren't great. Sure, they look impressive on a technical level (this show is very good looking in general), but the lack of actual impact or rhythm makes me think this is not made by people who are very familiar with action and maybe they should have asked some seasoned shounen veterans for this — or just, you know, not do it. They can (and do) impress with character acting in quiet scenes just the same. And while Ai's character story actually does pay off quite nicely by the end we got, and Momoe and Rika are also handled well, Neiru's backstory is significantly less good, not to mention the whole Frill subplot regarding the show's mythology that they introduced just before (and that's the part to be resolved at a later date), which is a huge can of worms. We'll see how well they handle that, I suppose, but as it is it's a weird and vestigial detour that doesn't add much besides thematic headaches.
But yeah, apart from all that — I like it, a lot. Great character writing in the details, cool looks for the most part, tons of ambition, and a message that I consider to be appropriately handled — for the most part, and for now. Not quite ambitious arthouse anime at its finest, but also not a pretentious disaster like Sarazanmai, Monogatari et al. 8/10
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thedeaconj · 4 years
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Career Guidance
Alex receives some enlightening career guidance from Doctor Summers, upon the recommendations of a friend. 
           Alex was seemingly at a dead end in her life, her last job having gone down the toilet due to the lockdown. It was a boring office job anyways, and she didn’t particularly enjoy it, but there were still bills to pay. She was stuck in her apartment, fresh out of university with no direction, no goal or job in mind, and it was only through the recommendation of a close friend that she had one possible way to turn. She was an old university friend, who messaged Alex about a recent session with someone called Dr Summers, who helped her realise the career for her. She did mention that he’s a little unorthodox, even using a crystal ball and putting on a psychic act, but apparently that was all just a bit of fun. With no clear options left, she agreed to do a video session with him. Her friend told her that if she weren’t completely satisfied by the end of it, the session would be free, so the way Alex saw it, she couldn’t really go wrong.
         Alex wasn’t exactly sure how to dress for such a thing, on one hand this was a somewhat professional meeting regarding her future career choices, but on the other hand, this was a guy who acted like a psychic, so she wasn’t going full pants suit regardless. In the end, she decided to go for a more casual ensemble, she wasn’t one for stuffy office wear anyways. Alex opted for a sensible blue top, and some jeans. They said dress for the job you want, and hey a job where she could wear what she wanted would be ideal. Alex also decided to forgo any makeup, figuring that it didn’t really matter. She’d emailed Dr Summers to arrange the call for around five, he asked a few preliminary questions on her educational background, what she hoped to get out of this, and if she was going to be disturbed for any reason during their talk. She replied with how she’d done an English degree, more out of uncertainty on what to do career wise. She hoped to get some career guidance and find something right for her, and while the last question seemed a little odd, she confirmed there was no risk of her being disturbed.
         When five o’clock came, she booted up her laptop, ready for the call. Alex sat in her room on a comfortable chair, the laptop on her desk in front of her, she turned her webcam on, and was greeted with Dr Summers himself. He was an older gentleman, wearing a tweed jacket but a t shirt underneath and jeans himself, something that Alex took small comfort in, that she’d been right to dress so casually. In front of him was that infamous crystal ball, but she first noticed his face and head. He was bald with a thick beard and glasses. Alex could see how he’d be able to play up the psychic bit, as it was quite an unusual look.
‘Ah hello Alex, it is nice to finally meet you, or well talk to you at least. I usually do sessions at my office, but this will have to do for now. I have to say you’re coming through very clearly; do you have a good internet provider?’ he asked.
         His voice was rich, deep, comforting, something she was quite happy about. This was already a little uncomfortable to Alex, telling a stranger about her career ambitions, being judged on them. The voice however helped alleviate some of that discomfort.
‘Thank you, and same to you! Yeah I’ve got a great internet provider, it’s been really handy lately,’ she replied.
‘That’s good to hear Alex, a lot of people are choosing careers that largely rely on an online space these days, so that may be something to keep in mind. I’m glad you’ve dressed comfortably as well, I find a lot of people I talk to can be very uptight or stuffy, which can prevent them for being able to find the right career for them,’ Dr Summers said.
There was something strangely pleasant about his praise, Alex felt it was quite nurturing. She’d never considered herself uptight or stuffy in anyway, more preferring to go with the flow.
‘Yeah that would be interesting, I do like being able to dress casually just around the apartment you know. Well I’m not uptight about much, I think it was a little harmful at my old job. I get that I don’t look like, you know, the model office woman but I felt suffocated there,’
         Alex was always more considered cute than she was anything else. Her strawberry blonde hair with slight curling, her fresh face with dimples and a healthy glow. She was short, although did her exercise, so her body overall was quite lean and trimmed. Still, it made looking professional in work outfits a little more difficult, as she was always the youngest looking one in the office. As Alex replied, the doctor nodded his head, a smile on his face. It was nice for her to have someone listen so earnestly, although something was bugging her.
‘Sorry, I have to ask, the crystal ball. Are you really some sort of psychic, or is that more for show?’ Alex asked.
Dr Summers chuckled, he placed one hand on the crystal ball and began to rub it. A blue glow came from the centre of the ball, that seemed to spin and twirl in place.
‘This is actually a little pet project of mine, I made it myself. Pretty neat how I can move the light, right Alex?’ he asked.
Alex stared into the crystal ball, watching the light twirl and dance. It was really quite beautiful, how he did it she couldn’t work out, but she did enjoy how it sparkled before her.
‘Yes, it’s really pretty, how does it work?’
‘My psychic powers of course,’ Dr Summers chuckled again. ‘No, I kid, it’s quite a sophisticated science. Truth be told, I’m not a psychic, but I can have some superstitious clients who like to believe that. I started using it with regular clients though as I’ve had an incredible response rate, for some reason people stare into it and find themselves coming up with ideas on what to do with their careers,’
Alex couldn’t help but keep staring, even without hearing what the doctor had to say about people finding their careers from this light. The way it sparkled and danced, how the light twisted and turned around and around. She felt as if it beckoned to her, the world around Alex seemed so dull, so muted, compared to the light in the crystal ball. It pulsed, and she could feel that pulse in her own mind, in her own body.
‘You seem quite taken by it Alex, please stare closely into it, I’m sure you’ll soon start to have some realisations,’ the Doctor said.
         Alex leaned further in, the crystal ball consumed her vision, as her eyes grew wider. Her jaw went slack, as the rest of the world faded away. The Doctor kept talking but his words seemed quiet, far away. There was only the light, the light that pulsed with warmth and bliss in her mind. She would follow that light to wherever it led her. It made her feel like she was on the right path, but she knew soon the light would fade away. It would leave her for a little while, just so she could receive some further guidance. Alex blinked a few times as she reopened her eyes, seeing the doctor and his crystal ball were still there on the call.
‘Oh, wow sorry, I must have got caught up in that light, I see now how it’s so effective!’ she said.
‘That’s perfectly alright Alex, now I believe we were talking about features of your ideal career, you mentioned about comfort,’
Alex couldn’t help but be a little distracted, her socks were so itchy and uncomfortable. So, to get comfortable, she took them off, then plopped her feet right up onto her desk, soles facing the webcam. She’d always taken quite good care of her feet; a red polish made every one of her toes look so elegant. To her, this was only normal relaxation, simply propping her feet up like this.
‘Yes, a career where I can be comfortable in is definitely for me,’ she said.
‘Then something where you can work from home would be ideal, although I have to say Alex it would be a shame to keep yourself locked away from the world,’
She couldn’t help but blush a little at this. Sure, it might have been inappropriate to the session, but there was something about the Doctors voice that made it sound so pleasant. Alex smiled and wiggled her toes when she heard his compliment.
‘Well thank you, maybe something with more face to face work, like you do?’ Alex said.
The Doctor smiled at her, so she smiled even wider.
‘That would be perfect for you, tell me Alex, do you know much about making videos, or video editing?’ he asked.
‘A little bit yeah but I could learn, do you think I should make videos? If so what should they be about? To be honest I don’t do anything that interesting’
         He explained to her how the videos could just be about her daily life, or show herself relaxing, that a lot of people would enjoy seeing her as she is now. Alex beamed her approval of this, although still wasn’t sure how she’d make much money from that.
‘It feels like a lot of people could do that though, people with more interesting lives than me,’ she replied.
‘Of course, that would just be one aspect of it, perhaps you could also model, why you have the looks for it,’ Doctor Summers said.
Alex shifted in her seat, a quizzical look on her face. She wasn’t all that confident in the idea of modelling for people she knew, let alone strangers seeing her on the internet.
‘Well, it’s um, you see, I’m not all that confident to be honest. Thank you for the thought, but the confidence thing would be a major barrier, I mean what if people who knew me saw and were cruel about it?’ she asked.
Doctor Summers placed his hand once again on the crystal ball, except this time he simply kept the light pulsing fast. It was almost imperceptible; Alex didn’t notice anyways as the flashes began to trickle into her mind.
‘That’s a shame, well there are other options of course, you seem to take quite good care of your feet, you could always foot model,’ he replied.
         There was something strange about the doctor telling her to foot model, but Alex’s brain felt like it was tired, like it was slowing down.
‘I don’t know, umm, isn’t that you know, more for perverts?’ she said.
The Doctor chuckled at this, as he made the pulsing light just a little more noticeable, just enough to begin beguiling Alex once again.
‘You could do it anonymously, and simply not think about the people enjoying your content. Please, think it over,’
Alex nodded her head, she looked down at her own feet, focusing on them as the light flickered in the background. There was something strangely compelling about it, she could do the work from home, and whose to say she couldn’t enjoy it just a little?
‘Yes Doctor, I’ll think it over, although full on modelling I may need a confidence boost for,’ she said.
The Doctor smiled at her, he told her of course that’s what he was there for.
‘Many find themselves more confident after looking into the light, so how about you stare again for a little while dear?’ he said.
         Alex didn’t need to be told twice, she leaned into the screen, as the pulses of light grew quicker. They captivated her. Entranced her. Made her world fade away. It wasn’t just that, it was how good it felt. This pleasant tingling sensation, through her whole body. This time it was even more powerful. This time, a low moan even escaped her lips.
‘There’s a good girl, stare into the light, and become the beautiful, sexy model you’ve always dreamed of being,’ Doctor Summers said.
Alex repeated the words beautiful, sexy, and always dreamed back to him, as the light caused them to penetrate deep into her mind. Yes, this was what she’d always dreamed of, to be admired for her beauty. That’s why she didn’t like her old job, she couldn’t dress to show off, she couldn’t act sexy or seductive in anyway. The light made all this so clear to her as each flash made her feel better and better. She was in bliss; the Doctor’s words overtook her own thoughts and began to hollow out her brain. She wouldn’t know what he put inside, as the light kept her complete, utter attention. When Alex next came to, she found herself looking quite different.
‘Alex? I thought I’d lost you there, you seemed awfully sleepy,’ Dr Summers said.
         Alex yawned and stretched, her breasts jiggling in her crop top as she did. She wore a short skirt too now, and a face full of makeup. It was totally normal to her, she always liked to dress pretty and comfortable like this. Alex plopped her feet up on the desk again, legs spread wide, panties on full display. Not that she noticed or cared.
‘Oh, hey Doc! Yeah guess I was feeling a little sleepy, sorry about that. Now what were we talking about?’ she asked.
‘You were saying about modelling, how maybe we could do a quick test shoot here. I’ve got some good screen capture software, and with your internet we should get some clear, good pictures from it,’ he replied.
Alex nodded her head, of course, she’d agreed to model for him. Before she could say anymore, there was a flash from the screen. One similar to that of the light. Alex couldn’t help but cross her eyes as it came in, and a wide smile spread across her face.
‘Apologies, I was just testing the software. Please stand up Alex so we may begin,’ Dr summers said.
         Alex did as she was told, taking a pose as the first flash came in. Her face did the same thing again, and she couldn’t help but feel a shiver down her spine. There was something about doing this that felt so right, so good, so pleasurable. She took up a new pose, another flash. Then a new pose again, another flash, another moment of bliss.
‘That’s very good Alex, you’re doing so well. I’ll be using some words of encouragement with you, the kind you may expect in your modelling shoots, so please listen and understand them,’
         Alex nodded, as she took up a new pose. He encouraged her, called her beautiful, asked her to bare all for the camera. It didn’t take too many more flashes before Alex felt a damp spot between her legs. The Doctor’s encouragement didn’t help, as it seemed to grow more sexual in nature. This was normal though; this was what she could expect in her modelling shoots.
‘That’s a good girl, bend over for the camera,’ he said.
Alex bent over, her ass peaking out of her skirt. She didn’t even need to see the flashes now to feel that bliss. She found her hands drifting without realising, one lifted her skirt up, showing herself off further. The other stroked between her legs.
‘Good, show off that ass, you’re a naughty slut aren’t you Alex?’
‘I am?’ she asked, a little disorientated, was this normal modelling?
         Then came the flash.
‘Yes, you are Alex, a naughty, sexy slut,’ Dr summers replied.
Alex spanked herself, she moaned how she was a such a naughty slut, she needed punishment. The flashes continued in her mind as she began to envision the light, without even needing to see it. Another flash, another sexy, degrading pose. Another flash, and her tits were out on display. Another flash, and she was back in the chair, fingers rubbing herself furiously. Another flash, she played with her nipples, and offered herself to the Doctor. Another flash, and her mind was gone.
She sat there for a while, tits out, panties pulled to the side. Drool running down her face, eyes rolled up, a blissed-out grin on her face as she lazily rubbed between her legs. Alex was lost in the light now, even when the Doctor woke her up, it was always in her mind now, pulsing, teasing her, making her follow its will. She didn’t have a choice anymore, the light guided her, and she let herself be guided.
‘Well it’s getting late Alex, I have to go, I hope you’re completely satisfied with today’s session,’ Dr Summers said.
         Alex nodded, still blissed out, only regaining a semblance of consciousness as the Doctor left the call. She stayed online only for a few more minutes to order a few things, then stripped off. It was so late now; she must have been on the call for longer than she realised. Alex slid into bed naked, in her sleep the light would cleanse her mind of the last remnants of free will. Deep in her mind, Alex could envision a version of herself, her old self. The one that now struggled futilely against the lights power. It already engulfed most of her, binding her in place. She begged her mind to realise what the light had done, realise what Doctor Summers had done to her.
‘Please wake up Alex, please,’ she pleaded with herself.
She didn’t wake up, instead the light flashed in that Alex’s eyes, and she began to realise what she always knew.
‘I have always been under the control of the light,’ she said, monotone, eyes now glowing from the light.
Soon, it would be a fundamental truth in her mind, as the light remade Alex as it saw fit.
         She awoke the next day totally naked, as per usual. All she had to do today was await her deliveries, and then conduct a follow up session with Doctor Summers. Just thinking about him made her excited, aroused, wet. Soon enough, her deliveries were there, she opened the door naked, the delivery man stumbling back. Alex simply smiled at him, taking her packages, and signing for them. She went back into the apartment, thinking how he looked like he had a nice cock, as she opened up her deliveries. One was a red, crotchless, open cup teddy. It was her new work uniform. She put it on, admiring herself in the mirror. She squeezed her firm tits, thinking about a boob job in her future. Her ass though was already looking good, although squatting would definitely be part of her daily exercise routine. In the second package was a brand-new makeup set, one that made her eyes dark and dusky. Her lips red and full. Then last, but most certainly not least, was the eight-inch dildo, one of the tools of her new trade. Her phone buzzed; it was a message from the Doctor. It was time for her follow up session.
         Alex turned on her laptop, got comfy in her chair with her legs spread, one hand stroking her pussy, the other setting up the call.
‘Hello Lexxi, I have to say you look extra slutty, did you enjoy yourself yesterday?’ Dr Summers said.
‘Mmm, hey Doc, of course I did. I’m so happy you made me realise what the right career was for me,’ she replied.
         That’s what they’d discussed yesterday of course, her perfect career. She could dress comfortable and casually, do it from her own home, and enjoy herself while working. She was to be a camgirl. She would play with herself on cam, pleasure herself and do whatever her attentive viewers asked her to. More toys would be bought in time, and the light would see to it that any fetish she needed engrained in her mind would be. Of course, once the lockdown lifted, she could pleasure her clients in person. Doctor Summers included, him for free, as she was so thankful for his help.
‘Well it’s not just me you should thank, is it?’ he said.
         A third caller joined, her friend who’d recommended his career guidance. She too sat in the same lingerie, the same dolled up look, the same brainwashed mind.
‘Now girls, stare on into the light again, as the Doctor gives you the career guidance you need,’
They replied in a monotone synchronicity, moaning out “Yes Doctor, the light knows whats best” as their hands sped up between their legs.
Eyes crossed, drool running down their faces and from between their legs. They were good little camwhores, blissfully happy in their new careers.
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annabethy · 4 years
Note
Okay but like fic for celeb AU where like Percy experiences a hardcore fan of Annabeth coming up to them and being a little to touchy and pushy to her just not respecting and overstepping boundaries and it makes him upset people don’t treat her with decency and/or his journey of acclimating to the fact that people come up to Annabeth all the time and becoming super protective of her in public
Percabeth Celebrity AU!!
One would think that after a year of dating, Percy would be used to the constant flood of people in Annabeth’s direction. She caught peoples’ eyes. It was just what she did.
He knew what he was getting into from the start, and yet he chose to stay by her side. By no means does he regret that decision because she was his world. She was a gift from the stars, and he’d do anything for her.
Still, the way people looked at her and spoke to her — touched her — as though they had a right to invade her space and privacy, made his blood boil. From the way the man was approaching her, stance tall and strong, Percy knew that he wasn’t going to be any different.
“Do you think I could get a picture with you?”
God, even the way he speaks made Percy want to start crying on Annabeth’s behalf. He wasn’t like this with every fan of hers, because most of them were the biggest sweethearts he’s ever met. There were others, though, that weren’t as kind. They were entitled and pretentious, and they didn’t even bother greeting her before practically demanding she drop everything and bend to their will.
Those were the ones that made Percy’s heart sink. This was one of those.
Annabeth turned her back to the bookshelf so she could eye the newcomer. Her grey eyes flashed, and Percy felt even worse because he knew that this was the last thing she wanted to do. He knew that she wasn’t feeling well and had just wanted to go grab a book before snuggling up and watching a movie.
Other people didn’t see it that way. They barely saw her as human anymore — she was reduced to nothing more than a figment of entertainment in their eyes.
“Oh, uh— What’s your name?” Annabeth asks, fiddling with the spine of the book she picked out. It looked slightly dusty and antique, and he knew she would go for that one the second they walked into the store.
“I’m Octavian,” he answers, voice snobby. It was dripping with narcissism, and Percy felt the need to remind him who he was talking to.
“Octavian,” Annabeth greets, “Today’s just not a great day. I really need to get going, and I’m not even dressed nicely—”
Percy could argue with that statement, but apparently, so could Octavian.
“You look pleasant,” Octavian says. Before Percy can question his wording, Octavian’s eyes are panning down her body, lingering too long on her chest. When he speaks, he shows not a single ounce of shame. “It’s just one picture. How often do you run into a movie star on the streets of New York?”
Annabeth wants to say no, he can tell. She wants to turn him away, even more now that his eyes have drifted lower and were tracing over the curves of her hips. He can see the conflict flash in her eyes, aware that if she does protest a picture, it’ll be turned against her. Her strength wavers.
“Your phone?” she asks, stepping beside him. She’s avoiding Percy’s eyes, and he feels a deep pang of sympathy through him. He doesn’t know how she does it.
Octavian steps even closer, but neither Percy nor Annabeth regard it as unusual. Everything about the man was to be weary of, but then he’s leaning in even closer to get his face next to hers. She moves a few inches, and he follows.
After Annabeth snaps a few pictures of the two of them together, she tries to hand it back only to have it snatched from between her fingers. Octavian’s holding it back above her, angling it downwards, and then his arm is snaking around her waist and pulling, causing her to stumble for a few milliseconds before catching her balance.
Percy sees red.
“You got enough pictures, don’t you think?” he tries, taking a menacing step forward. He towers over Annabeth, and he notes with triumph that he towers over Octavian too.
“A few more won’t kill her,” he replies. Percy flares with anger, but Annabeth shoots him a warning look. Back down.
He doesn’t want to, but he does.
She takes a few more, a painfully fake grin plastered onto her face. She looks like she’s in pain, and he doesn’t doubt that she is anymore.
Percy keeps his temper in check, but the second that his hand is trailing lower and lower, he doesn’t care about playing nice anymore.
“That’s enough,” Percy demands. He presses into the space in front of him, allowing Annabeth to break away. “You’re done now.”
“I wanted more,” Octavian protests, trying to forcibly grab Annabeth’s wrist, but he moves between them, blocking her from his sight.
“You’re done,” he says again.
“I said I wanted more.”
“And I said that you’re done,” Percy says back, raising an eyebrow daringly. Annabeth is hovering behind his back. He can feel the heat of her body against him, and her subtle trembling does him in. “Get out.”
“How about you let Annabeth talk for herself?”
“I’m not asking you again,” Percy growls, and this is not him. Percy is not the person to make people feel threatened, to make people feel unsafe. Percy is the warm light of the sun after a cold night — he is the calm after a storm. This is not him. This form of Percy is reserved for moments like this.
Moments that people threatened the ones he loves. He is not the person to fight back, but when it comes to Annabeth, he is willing to fight to the death to prevent anyone from laying a hand on her. He will do what needs to be done.
Octavian stands down, knowing he will not win this fight. Percy’s eyes do not leave his form until he is out the door and out of sight. Energy is flowing through his veins — not the good kind. It’s the kind that makes him want to explode and bring down everything in his path.
Annabeth whimpers, her face pressed into the space between his shoulder blades, and he comes crashing back to reality.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, turning around to take her in his arms. She’s feverish and pale, and his heart breaks a little more when she rests her head against his chest and inhales deeply.
“I just don’t like people like that,” she says.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. He didn’t actually do anything. People have it worse.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Dismiss yourself. You’re allowed to be upset when people treat you like that.”
Annabeth breathes deeply again, and he can tell she’s holding back the building tears. It’s a dam waiting to break, he knows.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
She nods once. “I just didn’t feel like meeting anyone today. It just sucks, you know? I feel like I’m never alone anymore.”
He does know.
“I’m okay,” she repeats. “Let’s just go home.”
Percy feels like she’s holding back a lot. She told him what was bothering her, and he always knew that she hated that aspect of fame, but she’s never truly admitted it. She never elaborated on how it made her feel, and a part of him thinks it’s because she doesn’t think he’ll care. The thought makes him want to cry with her.
“You know I’m here for you, right?”
Annabeth picks at the skin of her lower lip with her fingernails peeking out from beneath the sleeve of her sweater. “I know.”
Percy’s hand caresses her hair, brushing a strand behind her ear before putting two fingers beneath her chin and lifting so she’d meet his eyes. “I love you.”
Annabeth sniffles. “I know.”
“Good.” He kisses her lightly once. The way Annabeth grins makes his heart melt, and his feelings from before are brought back.
He wouldn’t just die to protect her. He would bring the whole world down with him. It’s a terrifying thought, but it’s also not, because the only thing more terrifying than a world of fright and danger is a world where Annabeth is hurt, shoved inside this box, into the confines of what the public wants her to be.
He will never let anything happen to her. She is the love of his life, and he knows without a doubt that he’s there for her through thick and thin, for everything she needs.
He is there to keep her safe, and he’ll do just that, or he’ll die trying.
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