#ARE THERE PEOPLE HATING ON THE CAST VERSION OF SOMEDAY? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rphelperblog · 1 year

Text

Random Quotes from YA Fantasy Books Part Two

inspired by @sankta-alina-s @wcrriorhearts @all-is-fair-in-love-and-war and more- this time I opened my fantasy books to random pages and wrote down some without trying to make this meme a million pages

“No mourners. No funerals. Among them, it passed for 'good luck.”

“I will have you without armour, or I won’t have you at all.”

“I could see her daring a cobra to strike, swearing her venom would kill first.”

“If you won’t be my friend, you’ll regret being my enemy.”

“Don't be afraid, child, The stories are always there.”

“You're the queen, and it's the queen's house, and whatever he may accomplish, he's highly unlikely ever to be queen.”

“There are no rules when it comes to survival.”

“Truth that came too late was as useful as a meal to a dead man.”

“If you think I'm jealous because someone else got to stab you, then you're right.”

“I don’t mind being a moth. I would probably start eating silk if it meant that I could fly.”

“If you want to rebel, rebel from inside the system.That's much more powerful than rebelling outside the system.”

“I promise, I will not let you die without being kissed.”

“The way he looked at you. I got it then. He loved you, and it was killing him. He won't get over you, he can't.”

"She is my priority!

“It’s fascinating. You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don’t make any sense.”

“There were many beautiful young men in the world, but she believed that none of them could be trusted with something as fragile, or valuable, as a heart.”

“Invite the lie to play until you become so comfortable with it that it feels like the truth.”

“It is a dangerous thing to unbelieve something only because it frightens you.”

“He is beauty, inside and out.He is the silver lining in a world of darkness. He is my light.”

“If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.”

“I think I realized that I would rather die because I betrayed them, than live because I betrayed you.”

“The field of battle is my temple.”

“You know, you have a really strange way of telling me you’re attracted to me.”

“Vanity is a factor, but it is more a question of control. It is easier to trick others into perceiving you as beautiful if you can convince yourself you are beautiful. But mirrors have an uncanny way of telling the truth.”

“You win your people or you lose your throne.”

“You allow the world to think you're a heartless murderer,"

“Hope in this world bleeds out of the barrel of a gun.”

“Waiting. Not waiting. One lover. A hundred lovers. There should be no judgement either way. A woman is not defined by what she does or doesn‘t do in the bedroom.”

“Imagine, and it shall be. There are no limits.⁠⁠⁠⁠”

“I am tired of being used, hurt, and cast aside. It is my turn to use. My turn to hurt.”

“Forever and ever, kid, until you're sick and tired of seeing me.”

“No one wants you to be yourself. They want you to be the version of yourself that they like.”

“But you have to have a working heart for it to break.”

“I am Death. I come quickly, I come slowly, but I am not cheated.”

“And the infinite captivates us because it allows us to believe all things are possible. That true love can last beyond time.”

“Beautiful words were beautiful words, even to the most practical of minds.”

“It's not reasonable to love people who are only going to die,"

“Everyone dies eventually. I think it's better to die clean.”

“No. I'm not broken easily. I will never break.”

“Evil contained is not evil destroyed.”

“Many boys will bring you flowers. But someday you'll meet a boy who will learn your favorite flower, your favorite song, your favorite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.”

“The memory fades, and I’m left hanging on to the ghosts of his words.”

“Some hate us, think us outlaws to hang at the gallows. Some fear us, think demons to burn at the stake, Some worship us, think us children of the gods. But all know us.”

“Be true to yourself. But that's something everyone says and no one means. No one wants you to be yourself. They want you to be the version of yourself that they like.”

“He might have been a liar and villain, but he made both things look very good.”

"Didn't you hear anything I just told you? You could die!

“The ghosts, they never go away. They call to you in unexpected moments, their hands lacing with yours and pulling you down paths that lead nowhere.”

“Her spine was steel. Her heart was armor. Her eyes were fire.”

“There were two kinds of monsters, the kind that hunted the streets and the kind that lived in your head. She could fight the first, but the second was more dangerous. It was always, always, always a step ahead.”

“Love required sacrifice and making hard choices and doing things that were bigger than just you. It wasn't something you asked for, or could control or change. It was something you accepted. Love was a force of nature.”

19 notes · View notes

louderrthanwords · 2 years

Text

a letter to my twelve-year-old self

We’re eight months away from turning twenty, and whenever something significant happens, I keep thinking back to the past version of me who was pretty lost and raging at life — the past version of me that was you. I think you deserve a recap by now; maybe a touch of hope.

(Maybe I need to remember these things too, and that’s why I’m telling you, because otherwise it would feel too silly to just tell my present self these things. Like a pep talk, but less cliché, I suppose. I hope.)

I’m rediscovering my love of writing. It’s been about two years since I started writing again, and up to now it’s mostly been poetry, but I’m hoping to change that too. Fanfiction and prose and screenplays, maybe a novel someday. Definitely a memoir: it’s on my bucket list. I’m glad we’ve been keeping a diary since we were nine. We haven’t always been a consistent diarist, it’s true, but it’s helped me remember past versions of me like you more clearly.

You probably think that you’ll never write again, or something dramatic like that. I know you planned That Story out so carefully, and you poured yourself into it, and you prayed for life to line up just like that… but you already know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Better than me, I’m sure, so who am I to give advice? I’ve spent the last seven years trying to get as far away from that shattered dream as possible, and start fresh. You probably hate the state of things right now, and you have a right to. We’ve had a lot of disappointments in life, when it turns out less than ideal, but the one piece of encouragement I can give is that we idealists have a strange and horrible resilience to disappointment, because as quickly as dreams can be broken, we can build a new one right back up again. It’s not as bad as you think it is right now.

But I’m not here to offer advice or foreshadowing like they do in time-travel fiction. Why is it that in stories when people’s past and future selves interact, the past self always wants to know what will happen to them? And then sometimes the future self tells them? Well, don’t worry, I won’t do that to you. I’m no advice giver anyway; there’s too much I’m unsure of.

(Even if I did, maybe there would be some sort of multi-dimensional paradox that would prevent either of us from remembering our interaction, but screw it, I’m no physicist and neither are you, and we probably never will be, so there’s that. Here we are, waffling into what-ifs again like we always have. I rather like that about us. Some people wouldn’t even think to consider a what-if. And let me tell you, seeing how absurd reality is is one of the best ways to balance out that other rose-tinted point of view we’re prone to.)

So I’ll tell you about myself instead. That’s one thing we can do: be a storyteller. Couldn’t escape that side of us if we tried.

We haven’t “made it” yet. But hey, you’ll be happy to know we’ve come pretty far. You’ll see the girl onstage and wonder if that can possibly be you, but it is. You’ll see the 2nd place trophy and the medals hanging off the corner of my bulletin board, and the emails from the top drama schools in London, and wonder how we possibly achieved all that, but we did. Yes, I know, there are people out there who became child stars at five and didn’t even have to apply anywhere, but considering our circumstances, I’ll bring out my inner optimist (she’s been a bit ignored lately) and admit we have done some amazing things. It’s pretty satisfying, doing something out of sheer love and desire, and knowing that’s why you did it.

(I think they tell actors that you’ll face a lot of rejection to toughen them up, maybe tell people that the talent pool allows for a little more selectiveness than the casting choices for their high school play, but screw it, we never did a high school play, so we just have to know we’ll get a lot of no’s without having had a lot of yeses first, and that’s okay, we know what it’s like to have life tell you no.)

We’ve gotten so much better at piano, and we can sing, and we’re learning ukulele. And our sister’s not the only one who writes songs anymore, I’ve written a few as well; just starting to dip my toes into the waters, but it feels good.

And contrary to popular belief (i.e. our belief), cutting your hair short when you have curly hair is not a disastrous idea, and for us it worked out wonderfully. We’ve done it several times now — and we’ve dyed it too. I know you’re fixated on having auburn hair, and well, we’ve gotten rather close to it a couple of times. We have cowboy boots, and wide brimmed felt hats (the stylish kind) and overalls, and a trench coat, and no, we don’t wear them all at the same time! Give me some credit; I know our mom keeps pushing us to be adventurous with clothes, but we still have some common sense on how to match things.

(We still wear glasses, unfortunately, but I’m hoping to change that soon. Just to have a break every now and then.)

We’re eight months away from turning twenty, and I feel childish and ancient; just starting to truly live and already having lived so much. I’ve managed to make a few milestones, set a few records, a few precedents.

I go about my life and wonder what you would think of me if you saw. Would you be proud? Confused? Blink as you try to recognize this new self? You’re probably confused about yourself now — I think that will never go away for us — but I think you’ll be able to recognize this version of us. Maybe even all the versions of us, the ones I haven’t met yet.

So many times, I think back on a time when we were imagining what we’d look like in ten years or so, and what I see in the mirror is not too far off. There’s a small comfort in that.

She’s a little like what you imagined she’d be, but honestly, I think she’s even better.

inspiration: this post by @thatfriendlyanon

#i love playing around with this stream of consciousness style #writeblr #belle writes #prose poetry

19 notes · View notes

prettyboyeddiemunson · 1 year

Note

Hey Sweetheart,

I’m so sorry something triggered you earlier. I’m glad I sent that last letter just in time then. Even if it may have only helped a little. I hope you’re able to sleep well tonight and get plenty of rest. Also, I hope waking up you feel better. I responded to your answers to the questions I asked and answered them too. Figured it would help you get to know me more.

1. I’ve been wanting to read a Stephen King novel for a while but I’m currently reading The Hollow Ones by Guillermo Del Toro and chuck Hogan. I love the show Twin Peaks! I was super unaware there was a book!!

2. That’s so cool you got to go ghost hunting with the cast of ghost hunters! I think ghost hunting is really cool and I definitely plan to do it at least once someday. My favorite memory is when I scared the shit out of a group of NFL players in a haunted maze when I was dressed as a vampire.

3. Picking at/biting your lips can count. As much as I love reading, whether it’s books or fanfics, I have a habit of my eyes skipping ahead on me and reading further ahead. I used to skip to the last page to read the last sentence but I haven’t done that in a few years.

4. Do you have an idea of what kind of book you would want to publish? I would love to finally write a movie script. I don’t care if it gets used or not. Just the idea of finally accomplishing that, would be amazing.

5. It’s terrible that people think it’s okay to yell at or berate wait staff and retail workers. I’m one of those people who go out of my way to stack up the plates and trash at the end of the table when I go to restaurants. The people who think it’s okay to cheat don’t deserve to be loved or be in relationships period. I hate how people don’t realize how easy it is to put in effort to make the relationship work.

6. Pancakes are hands down the best!

7. Vampires are really interesting. I’d definitely pick that one too

8. I have a family that’s so big I wouldn’t want to wish it on anyone. I’d honestly rather be in a small family

9. I never got to grow up in one place, not military. And honestly it really hurt my childhood.

10. Seeing yourself happy, being published, owning a home, and having a family are really great goals. I could definitely say the same for myself with the addition of being more well traveled.

11. My funniest experience involved me getting a C.A.T. scan. So the radiology tech asked if I ever had surgery to have anything removed or metal added in. Without missing a beat I said, “nope I’m still a whole person.” I’ve never heard someone laugh that hard in my entire life. I really must have caught her off guard with that one.

12. Eyes are what I notice first too. There’s so much you can tell about someone with how they express their emotions by their eyes. I also look at body language too. People can lie but their bodies tell the truth.

13. That’s a really good goal. I’ve been feeling nostalgic for the Christmases we had as kids. So I’m really trying to emulate that this year.

14. I’m going to be honest, I was super nervous but excited when I sent the first ask. I get that same feeling every time I hit submit. I’m enjoying getting to know you more.

Honestly if you ever need/want to vent about anything and everything I’m here for you. Just call out to me in a post and I’ll be there.

Song to go with this letter: Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys

-Your Secret Admirer

awww thank you, and thank you for providing those answers! if you want some Stephen King recs, my favorites of his are the stand, the dark tower series, the shining, and salem’s lot! the stand is massive, both editions, but I recommend the uncut version! it’s longer, but it includes everything that his publisher made him cut out to shorten the length of the original novel. as for twin peaks, there are actually three books! the secret history of twin peaks and the final dossier (don’t read that last one unless & until you’ve seen season 3!), and the secret diary of laura palmer. i recommend all three, if you’re a big fan of the show!

i love your favorite memories and other things as well! as for what book i wanna publish, im currently slowly working on a horror novel right now! I’d like to try & get it published someday, if I ever get it done and ready. what about your movie script?

#secret admirer anon

3 notes · View notes

poetandwolf · 2 months

Text

just my studio/office where I spend most of my time.

I can not stress this enough, to any younger followers or people who don't have the safe space.

It will happen.

Someday.

It took me until I was 36 to create it. I lived at home until I was 29 (a mix of The Economy, the Grand autism-mo, CPTSD, and being the caretaker of my elderly grandma- which was a blessing honestly you all would have loved her.. She accepted me and was the first one I came out to. Like The Best Human Ever.) from idk 29-33 I lived in a hole in the wall apartment in Florida. Now while the apartment was nice compared to the crime ridden cesspool that was my hometown. It was... Florida. lol. In my home town no one gives a shit if you're GLBT or transition just as long as you like everyone else- stay in your lane. Florida was very different. Florida was painfully passive aggressive and fake.. and.. I quote;

" Its kind of funny for a while, then annoying, then depressing, finally it gets terrifying because you start wondering if these people are rubbing off on you. Its like a giant frenzy of aspiration and lies." - David Grohl.

I came back home to Maryland, and rented with my dad for a few years. I spent a good hunk of my 30s just painstakingly saving every penny I could- not doing things, just having that One Goal. My own ass house. No cons, no bullshit shinny things, no movies. Just... That. And I Did It. And it's Nice. I did almost get my own house as soon as I came back, but because I was still a Florida resident on the books, and it would take a month or two to get the things switched over- that deal fell through. And I had to wait for one with in my budget, and with the things we needed (had to have a garage, cuz, well. Other Job requires it.)

But a mere few weeks after my near fatal 'I shouldn't be alive you have Something Looking Out For You' as the ER dr said Accident. I get spammed with calls and text from my Dad and brother " someone is going to call you about a house. Say you're making an offer." Now, lol. The first they they tell you after your brain gets concussed to never make a huge financial decision. But- House. They text me the address- I check online and it looks cute, it's got enough space. It's prefect and right in the middle of this small little town. I say yes when the realtor calls. They quickly get me in for a tour before work. It's Prefect. It's Home. I'd show vids but my nephew's in it so, hahah. I can't.

I took all these classes, I panicked and got scared and was using One Hand the entire time because my other hand was in cast from the wreak. And they needed this and that and OH ONE MORE THING. And I had to find 'proof' why I made less in 2019 than I did in 2018 because of the Boobectomy and had to disclose "Oh...I transitioned from female to male and wanted chest surgery.." and it happened.

Finally. It was mine.

I sat there with Al's encouragement signing all the papers and was given the keys. I spent the first night in this house on my shitty futon from Florida in the "room with the fridge in it" watching ATLA on a old labtop because the power company was supposed to come by and I had to be there. Spent the first week repainting a room I'd be sleeping in. This whole ass house was the EPITOME of 'Blue'. And I hated the color and wanted greys.

Then we moved in. It took a lot of work, repairing things, freaking out. And it was all over 3 years ago..

it's just my dogs, and Aub/Al- be it spiritual spooky or some weird ass version of DID which compartmentalized into 'not disordered' as my shrinks would put it. It's just US.. By all accounts, a f/o relationship. We're happy. It's nice stumbling about the place planning meals and deep cleaning and doing all that boring domestic shit together. Knowing - this is our home.

0 notes

spaceorphan18 · 3 years

Note

have you ever read a detailed post about the glee cast’s singing voices? like all about their technique and stuff? reading your reaction to the ‘vocal coach reacts to glee’ video makes me want to know more!

Hmmmm, not really! Not from a professional vocalist POV, I don’t think. (That I’m aware of. This does remind me there was one vocal coach in fandom, and she hated Blaine, and I wasn’t too fond of her, or her analysis, so I won’t point you in that direction.)

My background is in music, but not in vocal performance. But I can give you a quick rundown of cast’s musical abilities if you like, though they won’t be huge on the technical side of it.

ETA: I started this a while ago before I started doing the music retrospective - I’ll probably try to explore a little more as I do those. If you guys want more conversation about one person in particular, let me know!

But for now...

Matthew Morrison: Is a classically trained musician with a very good voice. It’s a shame Will was such a tool, because Matthew Morrison was very talented, had the ability to do a lot of great things with his voice. People joke about his rapping -- but I think this stemmed from the issue that his background is in musical theater -- which teaches you a cleaner and more traditional way of singing -- opposed to a pop or rap style. He doesn’t have the grit that rap often has, which makes it a little too much like a Kid’s Bop version of something. When singing musical theater, though, he really shined.

A number that showcases ability: Make ‘Um Laugh

A number that isn’t so great: Ice Ice Baby

Lea Michele: Lea does have a very good and solid voice. She’s also been classically trained. The one drawback is that it hinders her a bit on pop music, she lacks some of the grittiness often needed on a lot of the pop songs. She also starts to lose some of her classic training as the show goes on (which I think is a shame) so that she can get some of the shine off her voice to make a transition to pop music.

She has one vocal tick that drives me crazy, though -- she has a tendency to slide into her notes instead of hitting them dead on, which gets worse as the show goes on, and it makes her sound a little screech-y at times. But for the most part -- she is really good.

A number that showcases ability: Don’t Rain on My Parade

A number that isn’t so great: Ooops...I Did It Again

Amber Riley: The cool thing about Amber is that you get to hear her grow as a musician as the show goes on. She had already started to get vocal lessons before the show started, but at the beginning, she was still a bit raw and unrefined in her technique. But you can tell she did practice, and her voice is developed beautifully as the show goes on. She was one of the best, well rounded vocalists on the show. She had a good handle on pop and R&B music, but she could sing musical theater rather clearly, too. She has great breath support - and can belt numbers out while still retaining the quality. Can’t say enough good thing about Amber’s voice.

A number that showcases ability: Someday We’ll Be Together

A number that isn’t so great: Sweet Transvestite (It’s not bad - but it’s my least favorite Mercedes solo.)

Cory Monteith: Cory wasn’t a vocalist. And, to be completely honest, I thought it was some kind of joke when they introduced him as some kind of hidden musical gem when Will hears him singing the showers. He did really well with classic rock that’s allows not only for a weaker voice - but is often not as technically hard. And I have to wonder if Cory got lessons, because he did get a lot better as the show went on, and I think his season 4 work is great!

I will say that sometimes they pushed his voice a little too far. A lot of times songs were either too high for his range and he often sounded like he was straining. (The most notable of which is A House is Not a Home - which is far too high for him.) That said - I think he did reasonably well along side Lea - mostly because often sang pop duets.

A number that showcases ability: I’ve Gotta Be Me

A number that isn’t so great: Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore

Chris Colfer: Chris is such an interesting study due to the uniqueness of his voice. He’s got a huge range both in terms of genre and literal range of voice. He can sing quite a few octaves. He’s got a great, clear sound, too, which is why he’s great with theater numbers. Interestingly, Chris’s voice did drop over the years, and while I know people love his higher range, he has a gorgeous lower range that wasn’t used as often (and is often my favorite.)

The one (nitpicky) issue was that Chris’s voice ended up getting pigeon-holed. I know singing Diva-Broadway songs was his schtick - but it would have been nice to hear him sing a bigger variety of songs. He wasn’t the strongest on non-ballad pop music, but they also didn’t give him that very often.

There’s also the fascinating unusualness in that, Chris could really sing duets very well with people -- but in group numbers, his voice sticks out like a sore thumb, and he was often left out of some of the more general songs because of it. His voice just doesn’t texture very well - which is why I get why they did what they did.

A number that showcases ability: Being Alive

A number that isn’t so great: I’ll Remember

Kevin McHale: I feel like people are often surprised when they sit down and think about it, but Kevin has a great voice. He has a solid range, and he’s able to do pop music very well (I believe it helps that he was in a professional boy band for years.) Not sure if people noticed - but he’s often the lead on group numbers that don’t need to be related to specific story or character points. Which is a bummer for Artie’s story - but if you’re a fan of Kevin’s voice, you get a lot to choose from.

Kevin was also able to handle a lot of the musical demands that I think some of the other males weren’t? He’s a much better singer than Cory - and could handle leading a full number. His voice isn’t as unique as Chris’s and can texture really well. In addition he was fairly versatile. He might have been the best rapper the show had, lol.

A number that showcases ability: For Once In My Life

A number that isn’t so great: Addicted to Love (personal taste choice - I just don’t like the song.)

Jenna Ushkowitz: Jenna is another one who is classically trained. She has a strong, solid voice, which was unfortunately not showcased all that well on the show, and because of that, I’m not sure how she does on a wide variety of music. I do think she sounds a little generic - but not helping is lack of being featured.

A number that showcases ability: I Don’t Know How To Love Him

A number that isn’t so great: Gangum Style (She does fine - but the fact that they made her do it in the first place...)

Dianna Agron: The interesting thing about Dianna is that she has a really nice low female voice. The fact that they never gave her any punk or harder rock was really a shame, because I think she would have done really well with that. The funny thing is that, more so in the beginning, they show tried to make her sing songs that fit her character - but weren’t necessarily great for her voice. I feel like it wasn’t until late season 2 did they start really using her voice for the better.

A number that showcases ability: Never Can Say Goodbye

A number that isn’t so great: It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World

Mark Salling: Mark had a really solid voice - that often lent itself well to folk and acoustic really well. He was good with softer pop and classic rock, and the show showcased that pretty well. I think, in general, Mark was a much better vocalist than actor, and the show often picked good music for him to sing - which helped with his character. I don’t have a whole lot to say, only that I think he was underrated as a vocalist, but I get it - with all the other baggage that comes with talking about Mark.

A number that showcases ability: No Surrender

A number that isn’t so great: Fight For Your Right (to Party) (I don’t think it’s bad - I just hate this song.)

Naya Rivera: Naya is a little tricky. I think she has a good, smoky sound to her voice that makes her excellent at things like pop and R and B. (Shame she didn’t have a good jazz number to do on the show - she would have been great at that.) I think she was really versatile, though, and handled her Broadway numbers really well. I do think she was somewhat pinched and nasal at times - and while I do think this was a stylistic choice, to me it’s not my favorite type of vocal sound. But I do think she was really good at the numbers she was given, and was one of the most talented female vocalists on the show.

A number that showcases ability: Back to Black

A number that isn’t so great: Alfie (I think I may dislike the song more than her singing on it.)

Heather Morris: Heather wasn’t a singer, and I do think it showed at times. She often had to have her voice autotuned more than anyone else on the show. That said - she did do Britney Spears really well, and I think she deserves credit for that.

A number that showcases ability: I’m a Slave 4 U

A number that isn’t so great: Dinosaur

Chord Overstreet: Chord’s background is in country - and that shows a bit through his singing - he’s got a bit of twang in his voice, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. He’s a fun singer. I don’t think the show knew exactly what to do with him (voice or character) but there’s a lightness to his singing that makes him easily adaptable to pretty much anything you throw at him.

A number that showcases ability: Red Solo Cup (You think I’m joking - but I think this is the most fun Chord has singing a song.)

A number that isn’t so great: Girls on Film (I think just by default of me liking everything else better.)

Darren Criss: Ah, Darren, where to even start. The thing about Darren is that he may not be the strongest singer, his voice is a little wobbly at times, and his range is somewhat limited, but his showmanship is just completely beyond nearly everyone else. Darren has the unique ability to draw you in with his singing and hold you captive. There are technically better singers on the show - but Darren just has this amazing ability to really sell a performance. And I do love his voice, even if there are some limitations to it. I really could gush about Darren’s performance abilities, but I’ll refrain...

A number that showcases ability: Teenage Dream (Both Versions)

A number that isn’t so great: Piano Man (Which isn’t bad - I just think the show had done it better, and it’s a rare time that felt like Darren was kind of phoning it in.)

A quick run down of others, but first a quick aside - as they started adding people in, vocal ability starts being a factor. I think a lot of the newer characters could sing better than they could act, which was both helpful and a hinderance. I think we began to get more solid musical numbers as the show went on, but sometimes acting wasn’t always top notch - and across the board, old and new, hitting a combo of acting and singing ability didn’t always happen.

Harry Shum Jr.: Not really a singer - but the show often played to his strengths, and his few songs played off the fact that he wasn’t a great singer to great aplomb.

Jane Lynch: Can hold a tune, even if her voice isn’t the best - is really great at musical comedy.

Jayma Mays: She has more singing ability than the show allowed to showcase, however, she’s another one whose voice was really unique, and doesn’t texture very well.

Damien McGinty: Is actually a very good singer. However, he’s very generic, too - which makes him a little on the bland side.

Sam Larsen: I think he was fine - I don’t think he sang enough on the show for me to make much of an impression one way or the other.

Alex Newel: Fucking Fantastic! Alex might be one of the strongest vocalists on the show - has great range, energy, and vocal control.

Melissa Benoist: Her voice tends to lean on the pop-ier side, but it’s a solid voice, and her work on the show was pretty good.

Jacob Artist: Has a strong voice, and could sing genres that weren’t often featured on the show (like hip-hop and R&B).

Blake Jenner: His voice is fine, but like Damien McGinty, it’s generic and a little bland.

Becca Tobin: She has a very quirky voice that brings in a different and unique sound. They didn’t use her much, though, so it’s hard to comment.

Noah Guthrie: An amazing singer, has a really unique sound, but is able to do blend in well with others.

Samantha Ware: Another amazing singer. She’s in full control and can do really great things with it.

Billy Lewis Jr: Has a good, solid voice. Not as strong as Guthrie, or some of the other guys, but he’s a lot of fun to watch.

Laura Dreyfuss: Like Becca Tobin - has a uniqueness to her vocal quality that makes it stand out a little, but she’s still a solid singer.

Marshall Williams: His vocal ability is okay. It’s better than his acting ability. I’m slightly confused how this dude got cast, tbh.

#Anonymous #if you guys want to me to elaborate on someone - please let me know!#it's hard to do everyone since there are so many #this post took forever to write up #that's how s.o. sees it

75 notes · View notes

morporkian-cryptid · 3 years

Note

1, 12, and 18 for Lupin, 7, 14, and 17 for Goemon, 2, 10, and 13 for Jigen, 6, 15 and 21 for Fujiko and 4, 11, and 16 for Zenigata!

(for the headcanon list. Also if that's too many you can just pick and choose which ones you want to do ^^ )

Dude. There's NEVER too many :D

Long post ahead.

Lupin:

1) Their physical weak spots

His limbs are so thin and noodly, there's no way they wouldn't snap in two if you simply blow on them.

His chest, actually. The sword blow(s) from Goemon left him quite weak, it took him months to fully recover, and it still hurts sometimes.

12) Grudges and vendettas

Lupin tends to not give much thoughts to the past or to the future, he lives in the present. However, there are certain cases where he'll hold a grudge - against himself, sort of: if he's failed to steal a thing, you can be certain he'll come back, because he hates the idea of failing to reach a goal he set for himself. As for grudges against others: if you've hurt his partners, always sleep with one eye open. Because he will be coming for you, no matter where you hide.

18) Things they’ll never admit

His weaknesses. His fears, his insecurities, when he thinks he might not measure up to a certain heist or villain. When a plan is crumbling down in front of his eyes and he doesn't have a backup. Anything pertaining to his relationship with his father and grandfather.

Depending on the situation, also his feelings for his partners. They know he loves them, he shows it in the most dramatic and romantic way possible; but openly expressing how much they truly mean to him, how he's afraid of losing them, or of them turning against him, or just them not loving him anymore, or talking about everything they've done for him without realizing, how much they've helped him heal... You'll have to pry that out of him with a crowbar.

Goemon:

7) Their tickle spots

He isn't ticklish at all. He'll just stand there like a brick wall, looking very puzzled as Lupin's squeezing his fingers on his stomach for some obscure reason.

14) Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Someone else asked me this one, so I'll answer it in a separate ask!

17) Regrets

Murasaki.

Jigen:

2) Their emotional/moral weak spots

I think he's too nice for his line of work. He's soft for women in distress, he spares people too easily, and he's too attached to a moral code that might get him killed. Mind you, the first two probably developed after he met Lupin, but they've always been traits that he's had, even if he stifled them in order to survive.

10) Fears/phobias

What if... hear me out... what if Jigen was claustrophobic (I might expand on that later if I figure out some more details)

Also I think it would be funny if he's arachnophobic, and his response to seeing a spider is shooting it.

Jigen's afraid he'll be outmatched someday. Not because he's scared of dying, but because there's still a small part of him, despite everything, that believes Lupin might cast him aside if he stops being useful.

Actually, nowadays he might be afraid of dying - a little. More specifically, of being killed. Because it's not just his life anymore, it would hurt the people he loves, leave a bleeding hole in their lives, and the idea of doing that to them hurts him (but he still gets into needlessly dangerous situations regardless, 1) to protect them and 2) because of the aforementioned moral code pushing him to accept duels to the death with his crazy exes)

losing Lupin

Overall, I think Jigen has more fears now that he knows Lupin than he did before. Because now he has something to lose, and he is something to lose.

13) What gets them flustered

I think Jigen would get flustered by genuine affection. He's used to Lupin flirting with him (and with anything that moves, really) so he kind of got numbed to it. But if Lup or Goe express tenderness with him, show him little attentions, genuinely tell him how much he means to them, how much they love him... That's gonna get him blushing. Lupin playfully telling him he's hot will not have much of an effect on him, but if Lup were to gently cup his chin and stare at him in wonder trying to memorize every little detail, speck and reflections in his eyes, Jigen would turn beet red.

It happens mostly with Goemon, because Goe might not talk much, but when he does, it's always very serious and genuine. Lupin notices it happen a few times, and the idea of making Jigen blush might actually be the push he needed to let down his mask in front of his partner and open up about his feelings (because "It's not 'making myself vulnerable' if I'm just trying to make my boyfriend blush, right?")

Also Lupin wearing his hat.

Fujiko:

6) Their vices (physical or emotional)

Fujiko has a secret stash of yaoi manga. It's not a vice, she just doesn't want anyone to know.

She smokes and she drinks. She doesn't smoke as much as the boys because nicotine would ruin her teeth and her voice, and that's bad for business; but she could drink Jigen under a table. She has some bad habits with alcohol, that rear their heads up after a particularly rough job, when she's tired of men and the world in general. She usually ends up pulling herself out of these bad passes, she just needs time to put her armor back on again; but sometimes her partners have to come check on her and help her before she sinks completely.

(wow. was not expecting this to get dark)

15) What it takes to make them cry

Anything that might make her money if she looks vulnerable. That's it. She can cry on command.

She never cries otherwise. Ever.

Maybe once, in Goemon's arms, after the pressure of a job coupled with her messy relationships with him and with Lupin got too much for her, and she couldn't untangle her feelings from her masks anymore

21) Turning points in their life

The obvious one would be meeting Lupin. Other than that, we know nothing of her backstory in canon, and I kinda like it like that.

Zenigata:

4) Best places to kiss on their body

E V E R Y W H E R E !!!

His chub. It must be SO SOFT.

...I did start writing a list but it was just a detailed version of "everywhere", so...

I SWEAR I don't even have a crush on him! I just like him so much and I think he deserves all the hugs and kisses. Mostly from Lupin. And from Jigen too. Please let Zenigata be loved

11) Bad or petty habits

His whole life is a mess of bad habits. The man lives off cup ramen, black coffee and three non-consecutive hours of sleep. Not to mention the cigarettes.

I don't think Zeni is petty at all. He's too honest and straight for that. If he's angry with you, he'll tell you upfront. (or punch you in the face, depending whether you're a criminal or not)

16) Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

Oscar

I honestly have no idea, but if I find some, I'll get back to you!

#in this house we don't talk about oscar #lupin iii #daisuke jigen #goemon ishikawa #fujiko mine #koichi zenigata #headcanons #long post #the hobbit's headcanons

39 notes · View notes

reidswritings · 4 years

Text

lay me gently

word count; 4.9k

warnings; 6x18 spoilers (but just the end of it), drug usage, overdoses, medical talk, curse words ,,,, and i think thats ittttt

author’s note; welp this took foreverrrr for me to write because i was worried i didn't do it justice. but i guess im pretty okay with how it turned out!! so i hope you enjoy!! also italics are flashbacks!!

Y/N reaches for him. She reaches for him to try and make it better, to try and make sure he isn’t going to break into a million pieces right in front of her. She reaches for him because it makes her feel better. She reaches for him but his hands stop her, larger ones wrapping around the smaller ones. He has a rough grip on her— tough, but not hard enough to leave a mark or hurt the pretty girl. No, he’d never hurt his Pretty Girl. His grip was solid as if he was holding her to him; like if he let her loose she would drift away.

His voice comes then, wrecked, “Y/N, please.” It’s a cry for help and it breaks her heart, she decides as he continues, “Please, don’t make this into something it’s not. Stop, Y/N, stop making this a thing; I’m not sad. I’m fine.”

He was not fine, but she conceded. That was the last time she saw him; that was three weeks ago. Well, not the last time she saw him, but definitely the last time she spoke to him. The last time she heard his silky smooth voice, the last time she saw the lovely brown eyes that always had a silly undertone to them. The last time she watched his kissable lips as they moved forming the words she didn’t want to hear. She missed him, she missed him more than she knew possible.

She knew something had happened, but she didn’t know all the details; he never gave her the full story. She often thinks back to the night before that last one— the one where her boy ran away from her. To the one that changed everything. To the one that was the beginning of the end.

A knock at her door had her dropping the books she was carrying, letting them fall to the floor in a unforgiving heap, loose papers falling from in-between pages— she knew if Spencer had seen, he would be rather disgruntled and scoop them up and place them back in their rightful place before doing anything.

Faster than she could fathom, her feet were rushing her to the wood, pulling it open. She knew he was coming, JJ had called— said it was a bad case, said that they had lost a good friend, said that Spencer had lost it. She had said that he was wrecked.

JJ was no where near correct—yes, he was in fact wrecked, but the boy Y/N was staring at was not Spencer Reid. This was someone else. Someone she couldn’t recognize; someone she had no business knowing. Someone she didn’t want to know, frankly.

The boy in front of her was barely holding himself together. It looked like he was having trouble standing, like he was going to fall into a pile any second; his hand was holding onto the wood frame, knuckles white. His face—the once beautiful, laugher filled face—was tuning a sickly shade of green. The girl before him was worried he was going to vomit, though that would be the least of her worries. Spencer let out an ugly sob, arguably the worst thing she had ever heard. Her heart broke for him, she moved to touch him and he jerked out of his daze, now looking the worried girl in her eyes.

“Em— Emily, she— she’s gone. Y/N, I can’t— I can’t, I didn’t— I never said goodbye.” His hand dropped from the door and he swayed, she reached for him again. He pulled away, moving past her into the dimly lit foyer. If they were in a different scene, she would admire the yellow cast that was turning her Pretty Boy into an even more beautiful version of himself. She was so in love with him, it hurt somedays. His hands were as wild as his words, as wild as his eyes; Y/N didn’t recognize the man in front of her. He was manic and she was panicking.

“Spence,” she began, not knowing where to go from there. She let the words flow, letting her instincts take over. “Spencer, hey, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay, just take a breath. It’s gonna be alright. Calm down—”

“Calm down?” The manic boy whirled on her, eyes wide and wild. His voice sounded just like it always did, fast and smooth. However, this time, it held undertones of anger, sadness and denial. It was like he wanted to turn back time, wanted to forget that she was really gone, that he would never speak another word to his good friend. “You want me to calm down? Y/N, I-I don’t even know how to do that right now. Everything feels so. . .”

He had paused, not knowing how to explain his feelings. He couldn’t put it to words, she could though. She supplied him with the words, “Fuzzy?”

He paused then, letting his breathing slow, “Y-Yeah.” The boy’s breath hitched again and Y/N hoped he wouldn’t launch himself into a panic attack. He nodded, rubbing his eyes with his long fingers, hard. “I don’t know what’s real. Everything is happening so fast; it feels like I’m in slow motion and everything is just— everything is just rushing by. Y/N, what do I do?”

Y/N’s mind was blank. Y/N’s mind was blank and she hated it. She hated it more than she’s ever hated anything in her whole life. She hated that she didn’t know what to say, how to help him. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, no words escaping her lips. So, instead, she moved forward and wrapped him in her arms and said, “It’s gonna be okay. I’m right here for you.”

He took comfort in her arms, and for a moment, just a moment, he forgot where he was and what was happening. He forgot that one of his best friends had just died. Upon remembering, he jerked away from the girl he had begun to fall in love with. He pushed away, closing his arms around his body; closing himself off from the world— from her.

In his disheveled mind and blurry eyes he saw his neighbor, his girl, his pretty love, open her mouth presumably to comfort him again. But he didn’t want it. He didn’t want anything from her, from anyone. He held a hand up effectively shutting her up; he took the opportunity to take his exit.

The boy practically ran as he left in his hurry; the door slamming in to the wall, leaving a mark— not that Y/N cared at the moment. Her breath was in her throat, watching him leave her apartment and rush into his own across the hall. She felt her lips move, saying his name in a plea. A plea to let her help, to let her in. A plea for him to not shut her out.

But all she was met with was the door slamming and the lock sounding.

That was almost three weeks ago. Three weeks of forbidden glances and almost words. Every time he had seen her turn the corner to their adjacent doors, he would turn the other way, walk back into his one bedroom, he’d take the stairs or the elevator— just to avoid talking to her. He avoided talking to her because he knew. He knew she would see right through him; he knew that she could read him better than the seven profilers that he called his family. She was better than the best; she was better than the BAU, and that was saying a fucking lot.

She saw it on his face; she saw the pain and frustration. She saw the internal fight; she saw it all and she just wished he’d let her in. She saw it for weeks. For three fucking weeks she saw the way he hid within himself and withered away. She wondered what it was; she wondered what he was doing to himself.

She wished he’d talk to her. Open up to her. Share his pain with her. She wished that she could have her boy back. There was one day that really bothered her; it was just another day of the week, a boring Wednesday. It was just another day of coming home and hoping not to run into Spencer Reid; she was beginning to break with each passing look. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could handle the stranger facade, the cold shoulder, the longing for each other. It was too much.

Against her hopes, she did in fact run into the handsome man. He was standing in front of his door, a duffle at his feet and his messenger bag slung across his body. He looked tired— more tired than she had seen him in the passing weeks (it made sense that he stood there. he must’ve been on a case, she hadn’t seen him in a few days). His hands were fumbling, shaking, with his keys before sticking them in. He just barely turned the key, hadn’t even heard it unlock yet.

His hair was unruly and Y/N wished she could just. . . run her fingers though it and fix it, like she used to. His eyes were bloodshot and lidded, fighting to stay open. Y/N took note that he looked like he was swaying, like he was about to fall asleep. Like he was dead on his feet. He looked pale, sick; almost like he was getting over a cold, but Y/N knew better. She knew better. This wasn’t a cold. Y/N had stopped at the end of the hallway; a deer caught in headlights. Spencer had heard her shoes come to a stop and he turned; another deer, another car.

He coughed, wiped his nose and said, “Y-Y/N?”

The boy swayed some more, hand flying out in front to steady himself. He heard her gasp and his once clouded mind became sharp. she knows. she knows. she knows. she knows. she knows. she—

“Spencer?” It was simple. That was it, one word, his name, and he was running into his apartment after struggling to unlock it for a few seconds (ones that really felt more like hours). She didn’t sleep that night. Her mind was too plagued with thoughts of Spencer Reid. She knew if she did try and sleep she would fall asleep only to be woken by her anxiety surrounding the Pretty Boy.

Y/N wasn’t dumb. No, in fact, Spencer often said she was one of the smartest people he knew and that meant a lot considering that he worked with seven brilliant minds, as well as being a certified genius. She knew what was happening to the boy across the hall. That Wednesday confrontation had confirmed it for her. She knew.

She knew and she was planning on having a one on one intervention. She would’ve asked his friends to be there too but she had heard (from Spencer) that they weren’t very present the first time he had this problem— so here she was, on her own. That was what brought her to his door, she had knocked only to be met with silence. She knew he was home, she knew he was in there. Being neighbors with a guy who you’re simultaneously in love with and worried about gives you a lot of perks— one of them knowing where he is at all times, in the most non-stalkerish way ever.

She knocked again. Silence again. She hoped he was just ignoring her. She hoped that he was just in the shower and hadn’t heard either knocks. She hoped that he was doing anything other than the intrusive thoughts her mind was throwing at her. She hoped, she hoped, she hoped. Y/N knew what she had to do. Spencer had given her a key to his place—for emergencies. She knew that it was an invasion of his privacy, but she had to know. She had to see him; had to see that he was alright. She had to. So, with her heart in her throat, threatening to jump from her body any second, she put the key in the lock and twisted, pushing the heavy door open.

And god damn it, she wished she would’ve poked her nose in sooner, because slumped on the couch was a very drugged up version Spencer Reid. She would’ve given anything, everything, to not have to have him in this pain, to not have him dealing with this. Her heart stopped, upon seeing the unmoving form, and she wanted to die.

There sat (sat being a loose word) Spencer, his usually buttoned shirt was laying open, showing his uncharacteristically toned stomach. The sleeve that was on his left arm was rolled up, his rubber tourniquet tightly on his upper arm and there were a few track marks in the crook of his elbow. His left hand was loosely balled into a fist and his right held a needle that was more than likely in his arms minutes before.

Y/N was in shock. She couldn’t move, couldn’t take her eyes off the sight in front of her. The boy who she had come to love was no longer present. The usually Pretty Boy’s head was leaning on the back of the ratty couch, eyes barely opened and unfocused. His long hair was matted to his forehead in sweat. His breathing was shallow and coming out in rough puffs; she could see how much he was struggling with the task. The neighbor girl was worried that he would stop completely if she didn’t do something.

She moved forward quickly, her hands pulling at the rubber, throwing it on the ground. Her hands moved to his face, cupping his head. Her fingers expertly wiped at the sweat, moving it off his skin. “Spence? Hey, Spencer, can you hear me?”

His unfocused eyes landed on her, blinking slowly a few times—too slowly— and his mouth opened and his brows furrowed slightly. “Wha— what’s hap’nin’? Y-Y/N?”

He moved weakly against her, pulling his face away and then his arms. He tried to push her away, fight her, but she was significantly stronger than him. In another life, Spencer would’ve been embarrassed— would’ve thought it was off putting that the girl he liked could easily over power him. But alas, its not and she is. He grunted out against her, whining; he felt limp against the sofa again, eyes unfocused and confused— too tired to move, to fight her. His body was defying him, giving up.

“S-Spencer?” With no response, she pulled out her phone— a moment of clarity. She could do this. She could do this. She could do this. Calling the emergency team was a hard thing to do, explaining what happened, who he was, where they were— it was hard, but what was harder was seeing him be placed on a stretcher and loaded into the back of an ambulance. The hardest thing, though, was not being able to go with the brown eyed Pretty Boy.

If you asked her, years from now, what she remembered from that night she’d always say watching the love of your life be pulled away from you with no guarantee that you’ll see them again is the worst pain imaginable and I’d never wish it on my worst enemy.

The lovely people that came to Spencer’s rescue had told her that she unfortunately wasn’t allowed in the back of the rig— something having to do with regulations and legal things. She didn’t argue, she didn’t have the energy to. The girl, who was suffering the effects of shock, pulled out her phone again. She knew Spencer wouldn’t have wanted her to, but she didn’t know what else to do and he wasn’t there to stop her. She let her fingers dial the number that just happened to call her three weeks earlier.

The voice on the other side answered quickly, a cheery tone to it. Y/N distantly wished that she could also share that feeling— she wished she didn’t have to rip the happiness away from the beautiful blonde she had come to know. She wished that JJ didn’t have to listen to the words about to spill from her lips. Y/N wished that Spencer never stuck the needle in his arm. She wished that things were different. She wished and wished and wished until her head hurt.

JJ met her at the hospital sans Will and her boys— probably a good idea on her part. Especially considering the state that Y/N was in. The usually posed girl was now disheveled, her hair was sticking up unnaturally (from pulling at it in anger, confusion, sadness— all of the emotions, really), her eyes were puffy from crying and JJ could tell that the girl in front of her was in another world. Y/N was sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs provided by the hospital and her leg was bouncing at an alarming speed. JJ knew she needed to get Y/N’s mind off the boy; she needed to do something.

The hospital was noisy yet also controlled. It was like everyone who was talking was miles away, that they were trying to keep their voices down in fear that she would burst and lose it.

“Y/N?” It was soft, Y/N realized. She recognized the tone and connected it to how Spencer usually addressed her. Logically, her mind knew it was not Spencer and that it was a girl’s voice that had began but her heart and lips knew otherwise.

“Spencer?” Full of tears and hope, Y/N’s voice called out first, just as soft. Then her eyes moved up, hoping to see the curly haired boy, and were (unfortunately) met with her pretty blonde friend who was squatting in front of her. She was hovering— Y/N didn’t like that. She felt closed in but she didn’t have the heart (or the energy) to tell her to give her some space.

JJ could see the hope drain from the girl’s body. “Just me, sorry.” The blonde patted Y/N’s knee before taking the seat next to her. “How you doing?”

Anger. That was what flowed through Y/N’s veins at the question. “How am I doing? I don’t know, JJ. How do you think? I just found the guy I love passed out, on the brink of an overdose! All because you guys couldn’t—”

She cut herself off with a gasp; she took it too far, she knew that. She also knew that it wasn’t anyone’s fault— no one except Spencer’s. She knew that. She was just so scared for her boy.

The girl next to her was taken aback; JJ’s mouth hung open, eyes wide. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to say something— anything. JJ knew it wasn’t her fault, she knew that. She wasn’t the one that gave him the drugs, she didn’t encourage him to take them. Maybe Y/N was right though, she wasn’t there for him like she should’ve been. She left him to grieve on his own. She may not have encouraged him but she sure as hell was at fault. She may not have stuck the needle in the boy’s vein, but she might as well have told him to do so.

JJ’s mouth opened again, words soft and regretful, “Y/N, I am so sorry. You’re right, I should’ve been there for him. I don’t—”

Y/N took a breath, calming herself, “No, JJ, I-I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from. I know it’s not your fault. Spencer did this to himself.”

The girls waited together in silence after that. The only sound being the many people rushing around the building and the small conversations of the people around the two girls and the heavy breathing from the aforementioned women. They comforted each other— not with words but rather with their body language. Y/N and Jennifer held hands, willing the other to stay calm, until a doctor approached them, solemn look on her face. Both girls stood up, hand in hand. Y/N’s nerves skyrocketed, she felt like she was going to pass out. If the doctor didn’t give her any good news, she was sure she would. Her thoughts were moving a mile a minute and she was willing the doctor to speak, tell them what happened, tell them something good.

Why wasn’t she talking? Why is she looking at her like that? Why won’t she stop smiling like that? Why won’t she tell her what’s happening?

“Y/N,” The doctor, who had once given her name but was now forgotten, began before her eyes looked between the blonde agent next to her and then to Y/N. “Can we talk in private?”

Private? Oh god. Oh god. Oh god, that’s not good. Private is never good. “Uh— You can say in in front of her. It’s okay.”

A sigh came from the doctor’s lips, hands folding in front of her. “Y/N, are you sure?”

“Yes—!” A sigh from Y/N. A beat passed and then she tried again, softer this time, “Yes, please, just tell me what’s happening.”

“Okay. . . Well, when you brought Mr Reid—”

“Doctor Reid—” Both horrified girls corrected simultaneously. It wasn’t important, they knew that. Of course they knew that. It was important to the bedridden boy though, and they knew he’d correct the doctor if he was here. So, they did what Spencer would do and corrected her.

Another sigh from the woman in the scrubs, “When we brought Doctor Reid in, he was experiencing an overdose, as I’m sure you know. He was also having trouble breathing and had a seizure while on the way in.”

The doctor paused, waiting to see if either girl had any questions. Neither did, but both felt their hearts stopped. Y/N felt the tears return to her eyes, she felt like she needed a minute. The broken girl let her hand slip away from the blonde’s and sat back down in the dirty chair. She placed her head in her hands and did some breathing exercises. She distantly heard the woman continue talking, “We were able to stable him and he’s resting now. He might be a little groggy but you can probably take him home in a bit. I can take one of you to see him, if you’d like.”

Y/N’s body and mind sharpened at that. She could see him? He was fine? She felt JJ’s presence next to her again, a hand was placed on her back, rubbing. “You should go first.”

“What about you?”

She smiled a soft smile (one that she was sure was taught to her by Spencer), eyes wet, “I’ll check in with him later. Go ahead.” The young girl didn’t need another word before she was up out of her seat, following the doctor. Her heartbeat was in her ears; she wondered if the woman next to her could hear it. It didn’t matter, she ultimately decided. They stopped in front of a half closed door; the doctor opening it to let the girl in. She must’ve expected her to rush in, because she started to swing the door shut. But Y/N was frozen, eyes locked with the Pretty Boy, that is until the door almost hit her. The girl mumbled a small, sorry before making her way fully into the room.

The boy she missed so much was leaning back into the bed, his arms at his sides— he looked uncomfortable. He was awake and that surprised Y/N; she had half expected him to be asleep. She wasn’t ready to confront the boy yet. His eyes watched her move around the room; she was pacing, hands shaking the nerves out. He could see that she was wrecked and he knew he was the cause. He wanted to turn back time, he wanted to make sure she never had to deal with him like this. The boy opened his mouth then closed it. He didn’t know how to make it better. He wished he did, but he really didn’t.

Maybe Emily was right, he thought and his heart broke for his lost friend all over again, my genius IQ really does get slashed to 60 when I’m looking at a pretty girl.

Y/N, after a few minutes, came to a rough stop and turned to him, a fire in her eyes. An emotion that he had never seen directed at him before— it scared him. Her voice came then, angry and wrecked, “Spencer Reid—! What— Why?!”

He had no answer for her, so he just slowly lifted his hands in a shrug and said, “I’m sorry.”

She let out a sigh and then laughed bitterly, “You’re sorry? Spencer, I-I don’t even know where to begin. . . you could’ve talked to me, you know?”

A cough and a sniff, then another sigh. He knew. “I know.”

“I was so worried. Spence, I— I thought you were gonna die. Do you want to die, Spencer— is that it? You were trying to kill yourself?”

“No!” It was rushed and harsh. It hurt his throat causing him to clear it before speaking again, “No, I don’t want to die, Y/N. It was an accident, ‘m not suicidal.” The boy threw his head back against his pillow in anger. He wished that she could just know why he needed the release. It made sense to him; he wanted her to understand.

“God!” She threw her hands out, angry, “Spencer, fuck. An accident?! You accidentally shot up? You accidentally got yourself addicted to Dilaudid again? God, Spence, seriously?”

She was angry, Spencer knew that. She had every right to be, but he was also feeling attacked. He was just so, so tired and irritated. He needed a minute, he needed a breath and Y/N asking him all these questions was not helping him whatsoever. “What do you want from me?!”

The angry girl was taken aback and it showed. Her whole body language changed, she took a few discombobulated steps backward as if she had been pushed and her mouth fell open at the question. Spencer immediately felt horrible— he wanted to take it back but it was too late. The words had already been said.

“What do I want?” The words were soft, a tone of hurt to them and despite himself, Spencer nodded. “Spence, I wanted you to talk to me. I wanted you to not shut me out! I didn’t want this; I didn’t want you to fucking overdose because you’re too stubborn to talk to me. Spencer I—”

Tears filled his eyes as he asked, “What? You what?”

“Spencer. . . I-I love you, you know that. Spence, you know that. I know you do.” The boy’s tears fell as he nodded. His words were caught in his throat. He sniffed, he did know. His heart fluttered at the confession. They weren’t official; they hadn’t had the talk. They were just two kids dumb in love. She continued, heart heavy. “But I swear to god, Spence, if you keep down this path you will loose me. I will not be apart of this; I will not watch you kill yourself.”

A beat of silence passed. Then he spoke. It was soft and small, a tone of anxiety accompanied it. “You’ll leave?”

“Don’t make me the bad guy, Spence,” She grunted out, a nervous hand running through her hair.

“Y/N— I-I don’t even— I don’t know what you want me to say.” The broken boy admitted, trying to sit up. Y/N moved forward, sitting next to his legs. She grabbed ahold of one of his hands, lacing their fingers together.

“I want you to tell me you’ll stop. Spencer, I want you to tell me I won’t find you like— like that again.” The girl was looking down, away from Spencer, but he knew she was crying. He knew her too well. He knew that this was breaking her. But he had to say it, even if it would break her heart.

“I don’t know if I can.” He cried, hand squeezing hers. She met his eyes then.

“Spencer, please.” She knew it was selfish of her to ask, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t imagine a world with out him.

“I don’t think I’m strong enough, Y/N/N.”

“You are. You are, I promise.” She nodded at him, hope flooding her veins. “And I’ll be there when it gets too hard.”

She felt him squeeze her hand again before he spoke, fears lacing his wrecked voice, “You will?”

“I will, Spencer. I promise. I just need you to try. Just try and I’ll help with the rest.”

The boy nodded, tears falling from his beautiful brown eyes— the ones that Y/N was more than in love with.

She didn’t lie that night; no, she stuck with him throughout it all. She was there when the cravings got so bad that he was in physical pain and tears stung his eyes. She was there for him when he woke up from nightmares. She was there to rub his back when he vomited all his food into the toilet and when he was so frustrated because he couldn’t be trusted to hold a glass, let alone his gun, before it slipped through his weak fingers. She was there when he wanted to die and when he was so uncomfortable that all he did was cry in her arms. She was there for it all. She had kept her promise and stayed there for it all— just like he would’ve if the roles were reversed.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #matthew gray gubler #mgg

248 notes · View notes

nct-lian · 3 years

Text

wayv’s relation to lian

KUN + LIAN: LUN

they have the cutest little interactions ever :(

was one of the members that kun was most comfortable around at first

she made him feel so welcomed!

when nct 2018 appeared on weekly idol, lian was placed in the front

but she moved her chair over to kun’s side to be closer to him !!!!!!!

lun stans found dead

they go out to eat food together a lot :D

now that lian doesn’t feel the need to look over him anymore, he stepped in and is now a very good parental figure for her

he bought her an expensive ass ring for her birthday

him and johnny both being her dad: 🤝

kun has been arguing back and forth with chenle about lian’s chinese name

he loves the name xiuying for her :(

they hype each other up all the time !!

lian and kun had the best time with each other when filming from home

we got so many adorable clips of them :DDDD

when talking to each other they can’t pick a solid language

like they’re always switching between mandarin and korean

they also slip in a bit of english at times as well

TEN + LIAN: LITEN

if kun is her dad then ten is her cool uncle

he lets her do whatever she wants

like he will just sit and watch as she teases the fUCK out of hyuck

HES TEACHING HER THAI

just like kun they switch between multiple languages in a conversation

they normally speak english with each other!

their fashion game is always on point.

no actually they literally wore matching shirts one time

liten supremacy breaking the internet: <3

ten once said “guys she’s like my daughter stop being weird~~~!” on vlive when people kept asking if him and lian were dating

as he should !

they mention each other ¿ everywhere ?

THEY DANCE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME

ten even helped her choreograph the new ver. of yoncé

don’t touch me i’m soft

no because ten ships her with someone in the group … just not who you’d think ;)

i swear he’s her #1 hypeman

ten was actually the one who made their ship name- goals asf sry i don’t make the rules

WINWIN + LIAN: LIWIN

lian is yet another member of nct who will sacrifice her soul to the devil for winwin

“winwin winwin winwin winwin is on the mind forever and always i love you winwin” was what she posted for his birthday

AND THE FEELING IS MUTUAL

winwin loves her just as much and he shows it

he likes hugging her DDDDD:

also ten ships them

so that’s that uh :p

lian cried so hard when he had to pause promotions with 127 :(

especially because they were super close!

winwin was actually another one of her first friends in nct because she was fluent in mandarin

and they were both super comfortable speaking with each other :)

winwin: i like lian the most :D

yuta + taeil: am i a joke to you?

no cause yuta is constantly losing in this thing

lian picks winwin and winwin picks lian what is happening

winwin’s current lockscreen is a picture of lian rolling her eyes at yangyang

yup yup their lockscreen tradition LISTEN AND WEEP

winwin’s selfies are lian’s favourite thing :)

LUCAS + LIAN: LULIAN

omfg the chaos these two bring

i’m crying because nct 2018 was chaotic in itself but lulian was something else

THEY WERE ALWAYS SCREAMING ????

taeyong was going through an existential crisis the entirety of 2018

AND BYE LUCAS WILL NOT STOP COMPARING THEIR HAND SIZES

leave it in 2018 sweetheart we been knew lian is the size of a jellybean

he had her react to his drama where he dances to replay after killing his girlfriend

lian confirmed it was 10/10 and would recommend watching

she genuinely thinks lucas should have been added to nct dream and she stands by that opinion daily

the MOMENTS we got during nct world 2.0 were chefs kiss

they were both so chaotic while mark was frying eggs

“MARK WHAT ARE YOU DOING (⊹つ•۝•⊹)つ”

the oldest + youngest in the 99’ line remain iconic

lian hates him but loves him at the same time

because he’s nice to her but he SPENDS TOO MUCH OF HIS TIME MAKING FUN OF HER HEIGHT

“lian you’re like literally two feet tall i could fit you in my pocket”

“i will drop kick you in 2.5 seconds if you don’t shut the fuck up wong yukhei”

lucas once said that their favourite thing to do together was play at playgrounds

XIAOJUN + LIAN: XIAN

what you’ve all been waiting for

xiaojun went so long thinking that lian was chinese (∩╹□╹∩)

like she speaks mandarin perfectly, has a chinese stage name

IT WAS A REASONABLE MISTAKE LET HIM LIVE

when they met the first thing he said to her was how pretty she was

“y-you’re so pretty uhh”

*cue distressed xiaojun*

he followed lian on instagram before nct 2020 was even confirmed

dedication

he didn’t know jaehyun or yuta liked her and accidentally patted her head in front of them and called her cute

AND THAT WAS RHE DAY BEFORE THE WHOLE “xiaojun is terrified of yuta” THING HAPPENED

PLEASEHANDHJEJSB

they’d like to do a duet someday :)

he couldn’t get her lyrics from kick it out of his head when he first listened to the song

sometimes still quotes them around her to make her laugh

lian hyped his drama up SO MUCH !1!1!1!€]£<]~\£>€{

“dejunnie is having an acting debut soon !! please go support him and his cast~”

xiaojun brags about that a lot ... and her nickname for him :)

HENDERY + LIAN: LIANDERY

the teasing

THE MF TEASINF THEYRE SO ANNOYING

besties ™

they would occasionally message each other before and they considered themselves to be pretty close but when nct 2020 happened they were chaos

especially when they ended up in the work it unit together

everyone was so sick of them like they would not shut up about random ass things

hendery and lian are like another version of haechan and lian

but minus the lovey stuff they sometimes do

with liandery it’s constant teasing and making fun of each other 24/7

and it’s all fun and games so they can go DOWN if they’d like to

lian roasted him so hard once bye

they were supposed to be a pair on “it’s awkward but it’s ok”

but they developed such a good friendship within like two weeks that they had to switch up the members

hendery is kinda soft for her though ngl

he’ll just randomly poke her dimples

BUT HE WONT LIE AND SAY HE WASNT INTIMIDATED BY HER AT FIRST

it was just the way she presented herself at that time because she was a little frustrated, but it wasn’t anything that wouldn’t change later on

hendery thought she was older than him by like three years rip

YANGYANG + LIAN: YANGLIAN

when lian met yangyang she gained another child

but yangyang’s not a baby anymore (҂⌣̀_⌣́)

yet he’ll 100% act cute so that she does stuff for him

she’s not complaining though anything for her son

they’re like yangyang and ten all over again

once had a whole ass conversation through memes

it started with spongebob ended with shrek

lian now knows how to introduce herself in german thank you yangyang

not lian teaching yangyang toronto slang :’)

yangayng for some reason gave her big haechan energy when they first met

because the first thing he did was mock her height

he literally bent down and said “can you see me better”

lian: hello i saw you perfectly fine before my neck isn’t broken sir

but it was okay because now they have a really playful relationship with each other :D

have teamed up on numerous occasions to make kun’s life harder

“i thought the chaos stopped with yangyang, lian when did you become such a problem child?”

but lian gets special treatment because well .. she’s lian what do you think

yangyang calls her lili :)

100 notes · View notes

amispnrewatch · 3 years

Text

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

#SPN 1x06 #amispnrewatch #reclaiming spn #performing!dean #lawboy #bi!dean #dean x cassie #dean x lee #stiles stilinski #void!stiles #teen wolf #dean deserved better

48 notes · View notes

goddessofmischief · 3 years

Text

Blue Monday, Chapter Six - Loki x T.V.A.! Reader

Chapter Six: Blood and Blade

...Asgard, some years ago...

“Amora!” teenage Thor shouted, tossing her a sword. “Train with me!”

She grinned, picking the weapon up and obliging, while teenage Loki glowered on the sidelines. He hated seeing them together, because he could always hear the whispers that accompanied it, even if there weren’t any.

They’re perfect...

He loves her...

She’ll be queen, someday...

Trying to breathe around the lump in his throat, he reacted, too distracted by his own pettiness to have care for anything else. And when he reached out his hand, the sword Amora was presently using to pin Thor to the ground transformed into a serpent.

“Ow!” she shouted, stepping away from it. “What?” asked Thor. “What, what’s wrong?” She shook her head.

“Nothing, it just... it bit me.”

Thor kicked the snake away, and she laughed, slightly, waving her hand over the bite on her arm and using magic to remove the venom.

“Are you alright?” he asked her, putting his arm around her shoulders. It was a brotherly action, Loki conceded. He saw that now. There hadn’t been anything between them, at all.

“Yes,” she said, smiling, slightly, her face trembling. “Yes, I’m fine.” Thor still looked confused as to what had happened, and Loki prayed that Amora wouldn't connect the dots, either - but she gave him a withering glance as she passed by, and he knew that she had.

He set down his book, following her to the wooded area where they sometimes went for walks.

“Amora!”

She didn’t turn around. “Amora, I didn’t mean it-”

She stopped in her tracks, and he caught up to her.

“You’re... crying,” said Loki, sort-of awkwardly.

Amora raised her blue sleeve to her face, drying her eyes, and she swallowed.

“I’m not.” “I saw you, love. You can’t lie to me. Thor, maybe, that wouldn't be so difficult-” “Fine. I was crying. I... I just...” Amora raised her face to look at him, and he felt frozen, made guilty by her red eyes. “We used to be... we used to be friends. Why d’you hate me?”

“I... don’t.”

Amora scoffed. collapsing on a tree stump.

“Then why do you send snakes after me? Or transform my sword, when I’m trying to train? Or... even little things, like using magic to tug my hair during ceremonies. Or avoid me. It seems like you’re always avoiding me.”

“...Yeah.”

“And you’re not going to tell me why, are you?” Loki sat down, cross-legged, next to her.

“Do you really want me to?” Amora nodded.

“...Yeah.”

He swallowed.

“It’s only because I love you,” he managed, fighting around the lump in his throat. “That’s... that’s why.” He took note of her confused expression, looking away. He was about to stand up again and walk away, but she reached over, grabbing his hand.

“...Why?”

“Because, you’re...” he struggled to find the right words. “You’re really... really... beautiful.” Amora looked hurt, almost. Disappointed.

“And... that’s it? That’s all there is?”

He tried, desperately, to think of what Thor would say. He’d know what to do.

“Well... what else is there?” If she looked hurt before, she was devastated now. Her hands crossed over her chest, and she turned, as if she was about to walk away.

It was at that moment that it really sunk in. She didn’t care what Thor would do.

She wanted to know what he would do.

“No,” Loki said, reaching out to her. “Truthfully, no. I didn’t mean that.”

“Tell me the truth, then.”

He gulped.

“I care for you because... because you’re the only person I’ve ever met who makes me feel not-so-lonely. I’m happier, with you. Different. You make me different.” She reached over, then, and kissed him, softly. “Don’t be too different, okay?” “Never,” he promised. “Let’s just... swear to stay the same, forever?” “Oh, I swear.”

Just then, he woke up.

...Alone.

...

It had been three days since the last mission.

You felt broken.

Loki had noticed.

You were upset with yourself, mostly. Upset that you couldn’t let it go - but even more upset that you’d let yourself become attached. You’d only known the female Loki for moments.

Even still... you were sure that you had loved her. You knew that.

“Agent?”

It was Mobius, standing in your doorway.

You cleared your throat.

“...Yes?”

Please don’t be a new mission, you thought, your heart pounding. Please, please-

"I think it’d be best if you underwent some training. Trained Odinson, as well.” You nodded, feeling relieved. “Of course,” you agreed, standing up and following him down the hallway.

Loki waited for you.

Of course.

You knew he felt guilty about how things had gone. Not that he regretted killing Lady Loki - he didn’t seem to. But he regretted your part in it.

And he still had his doubts that you could even tolerate him now that he was responsible for death of the woman you had fallen in love with.

So he’d kept his distance, for now.

“I’m here to train you, right?”

“Yes,” Loki said, “...But not only. Mobius has been made aware of the last mission’s... fate. He believes you should be trained with a weapon you could defend yourself with. From other supernatural beings, from... me.” “Alternate versions of you, you mean?” “Hopefully, yes. But you never know. People who liked me have tried to kill me before.”

“I never said I liked you, Odinson,” you said, teasing for the first time in awhile.

“You never said you didn’t, either - now, we’re going to have to get you acquainted with a few different weapons, so you know your options. Try these.”

Loki passed you his daggers.

“Here, hold them like this-”

You shrank away.

“What?” he asked, sounding vaguely offended. “What, you don’t like them?” You shook your head, slowly.

“The... weight doesn’t feel right in my hands,” you offered, trying to come up with an excuse. What else could you say? The truth, that you didn’t want to wield the same weapon that had killed female Loki? Could you say that, without hurting your Loki?

He nodded, taking your words as the truth.

“Have you tried a staff?” “A... a couple times. I’m clumsy with it.”

Loki hesitated, almost imperceptibly.

“...Sword?”

Your breath caught in your throat, and something familiar, yet new echoed through you.

Sword. Yes.

You wanted a sword.

“...How did you know...?”

“Amora used a sword,” he admitted, bluntly. “Though you couldn’t exactly wield hers... it was a powerful thing, really, called Kursebreaker - the long blade of the damned.”

“Kursebreaker?” “Yes, well... we were a little obsessed with fairytales back then. The Kursed were a breed of Dark Elf - well, they were. All the dark elves are dead, now. Nothing to worry about there. But Odin had loved to scare us with the stories - my mother, not so much. She’s terrified of them.”

Even though you were upset with him, you loved hearing Loki talk, no matter what the subject.

But listening to him speak about Asgard was nothing short of magical.

“Then again, Kursebreaker is gone.”

“Gone?”

“She was set off with it. At her funeral. That’s a thing Asgardians do... we bury our dead by casting them off waterfalls. It’s peaceful, really - of course, I can hardly remember it. I was well and truly drunk.”

You hadn’t known for sure before that his Amora was dead - you’d thought perhaps she had disappeared, or cast him aside. Somehow, there was something even more terrifying about living up to the standard set by a dead woman.

“ I can’t ever imagine you being a drunk,” you said, trying to tease and lighten the mood. “...Even on Asgard.” “Well, I wasn't. But I had begun being so many things I hadn’t been before she left us, I figured... why not add another? And it was only for the week of her funeral, anyhow. My father - Odin... had never liked the idea of us, had expected her as a wife for Thor. He spent most of the time around her burial trying to convince me that I would have been better with someone else. He didn’t understand. I didn’t... want anyone else. I still don’t.”

Loki swallowed, and you knew you were hearing all of this as a form of apology for the mission.

“Anyhow,” he spoke, clearing his throat and withdrawing a thin sword from seemingly nowhere, “You’ll need this. I want you to fight me with it.” “Fight you?” “You’ve never fenced before, and I have to see your form. See how hopeless you are at it.”

“...Hey!” He grinned, and you rolled your eyes.

“It’s alright, no one starts out good. Well, I did.” “Maybe I will, too,” you countered, assuming what you thought was a good fencing position. “What is that? What in Hel are you doing?” You shrugged, waving the sword, carelessly.

“I’m preparing to fence? ...I think?” “No, no, no,” he muttered, walking toward you. “No, this just won’t do - stand like me.” “I’m trying, Loki!”

“Don’t be difficult, now - I’m not going through this again...”

“What, do all your students give you trouble?” “Amora did.”

...

She was talented.

Amora, in recent memory, had been nothing. Which is why their friendship had always made sense to him - he felt close to being nothing, too.

And, since she had been nothing, just an orphan girl that Odin had rescued from a village in Vanaheim and given a home in the palace, she was absolutely miserable at fighting. Miserable at it.

To others, this was acceptable. She wasn’t meant for much else than a symbol of Asgard’s great kindness, how they’d taken in some pathetic girl, a girl who if Odin wanted it, would someday be the people’s princess, and then their queen. She was a sad story. A convenience of war. Someone Thor mostly ignored, someone Sif hated. No matter how good a warrior Sif was, as long as Amora was Odin’s chosen, Sif could never have Thor. No matter how kind or noble, Sif could never beat out the sob story of the poor little orphan.

To Loki, she was simply his best friend. The only person who ever spoke to him, or laughed at his jokes, or stood beside him at ceremonies.

But she was tiny, and frail, and easy to be picked on. That was completely unacceptable to him. He himself had experience with being pushed around from an early age, so he’d trained. Every bone in his body was a weapon, especially his mind. He could be outmuscled, sure, but never outmaneuvered.

Amora, he knew, shared many of these same traits. She lacked a certain cruelness that he prized, but he saw her become occasionally savage. He’d appeal to that instinct, draw it out. “Again,” he said, tapping his own sword on the ground. “Again.”

"Loki,” Amora groaned, struggling to get up. “We’ve gone five rounds-” “And I intend to keep going until you win. Again.”

...

"Again!” Loki shouted at you, and you could swear a rib was broken. Around your fourth dueling loss, something seemed to have snapped inside of him. He’d become manic, unhinged. He’d pushed you to limits you didn’t even know you had. Training had begun slowly, but he’d gotten to the point of even throwing obstacles at you with magic. He seemed to have forgotten, in his fever, that you didn’t have magic to defend yourself with.

It had to stop.

He was going to kill you.

“I said,” he yelled, running at you, “Again!”

You ducked, a curl of your hair cut off by the blade. You supposed you should have considered yourself lucky it wasn’t a finger, or your arm entirely.

“Loki, stop-” He knocked the sword from your hands, kicking you to the ground. “Yield.”

“I yield! I yield, okay!”

“Again.”

“I can’t!” “Yes, you can! I intend to keep going until you win!”

You took up your sword again, readying yourself.

Again, he trapped you. You were struggling, trying to escape the chokehold he had you in.

“Yield,” he insisted, and you tried to breathe long enough to get the word out.

“I... y...”

“Yield!” He wouldn’t really kill you, you thought, blood rushing to your head.

Would he? Loki seemed to have forgotten that he was fighting you, a Midgardian. Maybe on Asgard, this was training for beginners.

“I yield,” you choked out, and he released you.

“Again, Amora!”

The words escaped his mouth before he could think them, and all at once, you saw his face fall. He collapsed to the ground.

“Loki?” you whispered, timidly, approaching him and wondering if this was an elaborate sneak attack. If it was, he had no need for one. You hadn’t won a match yet.

...Oh.

He was crying.

You knelt down to his level.

“Hey, Loki,” you said, clutching your injured rib with one hand and taking his hand with the other, “I’m really okay, it’s not so bad-”

He shook his head.

“What have I done,” he spoke, quietly, looking at your bruised figure.

“I’m okay.” “I could have killed you.”

“I kinda thought you would, for a minute,” you admitted. He didn’t respond.

“Promise me you’ll be looked over? By... do you have healers here?”

“Yeah, we do - but Loki, can't you heal people?” “No. Not me.”

Loki wrenched his hand from yours, and without another word, he turned his back to you, retreating to his rooms.

...