#Ace Kaz

[sissytobitch10seconds]

I honestly think it's so interesting that people tend to pick Kaz when they're making a character aro/ace when in the books Tolya mentions having no interest in romance or finding a partner and Harshaw (who was sadly omitted from S2) is mentioned to only love fire.

#headcanon whoever you like i'm not the fandom police #i just think it's interesting that people always go to kaz when they mention the grishaverse and ace rep #kaz states that he has desire for inej and has tried to be intimate with people #so clearly the urge and attraction is there #but with tolya and harshaw it's confirmed to not be #grishaverse #shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #tolya yul bataar #harshaw #kaz brekker #aromantic #asexual #aroace

[neptune-scythe]

The reason I take issue with people sexualizing Kanej or portraying them in a way of being physically intimate is because doing so takes away valuable representation that they provide

Representation for asexuals, for people who have touch related trauma, and people who simply don't like or want touch

There is so little representation for us, as is, and people are (unintentionally or not) taking away this too

Especially for Kaz

Yes I want him to heal, but giving him the desire for or action of physical touch, especially within the canon timeline where he still is unable to have that, is erasing representation for haphephobia and touch aversion

And if we're being honest (because I know the haters are gonna come after me and say the only way for Kaz to heal is to be super touchy), if it's between Kaz healing and losing that representation, or remaining crippled by his trauma but keeping the representation, i would take the representation any day

Of course I want Kaz to heal, and unlike the acephobic haters that keep coming after me, I am aware that Kaz can heal and still not want touch

But Kaz is a fictional character, his healing, while important and something we all want, is not in the greater scheme of things more important than the representation his trauma provides in the real world

Especially for me, I had no idea haphephobia was a thing until I read six of crows. I thought I was just making up my dislike of skin to skin contact based off my parents focus on modesty growing up, and my not wanting to violate or intrude but touching People's skin ... not realizing it was my own dislike until I read six of crows.

That's why I fight so hard about this

Because it's not just about the character, it's about what they're providing in the real world. It's important, and needs to be talked about.

And I'm sure someone will come on here and say I'm making a huge deal out of nothing and that they're just fictional characters, but some things are a huge deal, and representation is.

And if you're having a hard time understanding, let me use this example

It would be as if Wylan suddenly could read, yes he is technically "healed" but the representation has been erased

Or if a healer fixed Kaz's limp, yes hes technically healed but the representation is gone

Those two examples would be weird right? You would have a problem with it, with erasing a big part of who these characters are and what they mean to people, even if it does give the characters an easier or better life

That's the same for Kaz and Inej's touch aversions. It is representation, it's part of why they mean so much to me ... and why this topic is bigger than just book characters

Touch aversion and haphephobia deserve to be acknowledged and treated as valuable representation that needs to be preserved and handled with care

It's not just a casual thing that is light and no biggie

It is a big deal to me and likely a lot of other people

And I will never stop talking about it and fighting for it

#six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #grishaverse #dirtyhands #the bastard of the barrel #the wraith #kanej #kaz x inej #representation #ace representation #asexual representation #touch aversion #touch averse #touch aversion representation #touch averse representation #haphephobia #haphephobia representation

[canisalbus]

Finally following bc Tumblr reccomends me your art all the time!!! I love your doggos they bring me such joy 😊

Thank you for following! I'm glad you like my doggos! :>

A fair warning though, I've been posting a lot of asks lately, and if you don't want those cluttering up your dashboard I'd recommend blacklising the tag "answered". Sometimes I respond to them with little doodles though so you might end up missing those.

#it's also nice to hear my stuff gets recommended to people #feels like an honor #answered #ace-kaz-brekker

[6point5crows]

If you seriously tell people they can’t headcanon a character as trans, queer, ace, or anything along those lines, I’m going to need you to shut the fuck up and learn to let people deal with their suffering and lack of representation.

“But the character lore-“

“But the author said-“

“But I headcanon-“

I don’t care.

These headcanons exist because if those characters can be those labels and still look like that, still find happiness, then maybes there hope for the rest of us.

If Wylan van Eck can look that much like a boy and be trans, then maybe there’s hope for those of us so desperate to be seen as a boy.

If Kanej can still flourish and exist while still being ace, then maybe there’s hope for those of us who desire the same respect and type of love.

If Kuwesper can exist and be seen and work out their relationship dynamic, then maybe there’s hope for those of us who are poly and wish to just be seen as valid for a single fucking day.

Let people have their headcanons even if they differ from canon (that’s what a fucking headcanons is, dumbasses) or from your own perspective on the characters, because you may have no clue how much that headcanon may mean for somebody.

#six of crows #grishaverse #kanej #wylan van eck #inej #jesper fahey #ace #wesper #ace kanej #kaz brekker #kuwei #kuwei yul bo #kuwesper #polycrows #headcanons #lgbtqia #transgender #queer #polyamorous

[jackwolfes]

Wesper with 20 for the kisses ask game?

kisses on a scar (where it doesn't hurt)

CN: past physical abuse, implied sex

In the past two weeks Jesper has learnt many little things living in a Geldstraat mansion. He has learnt that he really rather likes having a private chef, and that he likes the way this chef in particular makes him waffles. He's also learnt that there is a right way to fold your napkin for dinner, a wrong way to dismiss a staff member when they bring up coffee, and that an expensive blanket really does make all the difference. 

Jesper has also learnt that Wylan Van Eck is a fantastic person to live with and love. 

Even though grief has worn them both down around the edges Jesper sees infinite light in his merchling's blue eyes. He hears unfettered joy in his laughter — because Wylan has laughed a lot lately — and savours every soft, lingering kiss. 

He has also learnt that he rather enjoys the other kinds of kisses Wylan gives him. 

Three days after that dreadful day a healer came round, sitting Wylan down and running gifted hands over each battered bruise. Jesper sat with him at his request, not holding his hand but wanting to. He watched each mark vanish, hearing the faint hitch in Wylan's breath as fractured bones knitted back together. Then the healer left them be and Wylan showed Jesper what sort of down payment he wanted to offer. 

Now, Jesper gazes lazily across Wylan's bedroom, still feeling utterly satisfied from the night before. A smile lingers at the corner of his lips as the memories dance across his mind. Wylan is still tucked beneath his arm, breathing easily. The past few weeks have certainly been a learning experience, but Jesper's most recent educational endeavor has been discovering what way Wylan likes to be touched best if they're aiming to make him come. 

Saints, had it been a good night. 

"We can't stay in bed all morning," Wylan murmurs. 

For the past fifteen minutes he's been drawing patterns on Jesper's bare chest with his fingertip. Naked beneath the blankets, the two of them are pressed together against each other. It thrills Jesper, feeling Wylan's bare thighs against his own. The very same thighs he was perched between last night. 

"Mm," Jesper finally replies, trying to force himself to pay attention before he gets distracted and finds his body betraying what he's thinking about. "You sure? I can be plenty convincing, merchling." 

Wylan laughs. He smacks his palm against Jesper's chest lightly, then pulls away. Jesper frowns at him and means nothing by it but joy. He watches Wylan stand, stooping low to snatch up the drawers he allowed Jesper to peel off him last night and tug them back on. He forgoes a shirt, though, meandering across the room to head towards his vanity. 

From the bed, Jesper stares at Wylan's naked back. He is struck suddenly by the fact that he has never actually paid attention to Wylan's body without a shirt on. Until last night they've been sleeping in separate beds. 

There is a scar. 

Wylan has started messing around with some of the lotions on his vanity, head ducked down. It leaves Jesper with a clear view of the scar down the length of his shoulder blade. It is thin and corded, tracking unignorable variation over his pale skin. Jesper hadn't really looked at his back last night when the two of them were naked together, and he hasn't seen much of Wylan naked otherwise. But in this peaceful moment he has a perfect view of Wylan's uncovered skin, and cannot look away from the mark. 

Jesper crawls out of bed, making his way over to Wylan almost cautious. No one can ever describe Jesper as careful, but Wylan is something he wants to take care with. 

"I don't need you distracting me over here," Wylan calls over his shoulder, having spotted Jesper starting to move in the mirror. He catches Jesper's eye in a reflection. There's still a smile in his words, but suddenly all Jesper can imagine is the ache of a boy beaten and bloodied. "Jes?"

He blinks, not having realised just how distracted that train of thought made him or how close he ended up getting. When he looks at Wylan in the mirror again he sees his pale brow furrowed. 

Before Jesper really thinks about it he's lifted his hand and brought his fingertips up to the scar on the back of Wylan's shoulder. Wylan's breath catches, a gunshot in the silence. Jesper freezes. 

With effort, he sees Wylan swallow. He shifts, weight adjusting, but he doesn't edge away from Jesper entirely. His hand stays on Wylan's skin, glancing over the scar. For an eternal second, the two of them are silent. 

Jesper breaks it first. 

"On Vellgeluk," he starts. In the mirror, he sees Wylan shut his eyes. The after-image of regret is obvious on his shut eyelids and it makes Jesper feel awful. It feels like infinite years since that afternoon on Vellgeluk but they both remember the things that were said. The secrets spilled against their holders will. 

Wylan stretches a hand up, brushing his fingers over the back of his shoulder. He can't quite reach it, but brushes against the edge of Jesper's finger. 

"He didn't do it himself," he offers. There is no need to acknowledge who he is. "There was a doctor that told him—" Wylan inhales deeply like the words are fighting him. Jesper wants desperately to tell him he doesn't need to carry on, but he can't bring himself to. Regardless, Wylan presses on. "The doctor said beatings would help. Beltings. He didn't seem to care about folding over the metal. Pain clears the mind, apparently." 

Jesper curses. Wylan's fingers twitch one more time, making Jesper too aware once more about the fact he's still touching something he shouldn't. He goes to jerk away but Wylan moves faster, grabbing for Jesper's hand and keeping it still. He has to stretch his arm backwards over his shoulder to do so but it does what he intends it to. 

"It doesn't hurt anymore. It hasn't hurt in years." His voice is the softest whisper that betrays his vulnerability. Jesper won't say weakness, because Wylan is not weak. He is basalt glass. No acid inside his soul burns him. 

But this kind of vulnerability is entirely different to the vulnerability they showed each other last night. This vulnerability is infinitely scarier. 

Jesper exhales. It makes his breath ghost over the bare expanse of Wylan's shoulder. It ruffles curly red hair and makes the young man shiver. Before he can overthink it Jesper ducks his head and replaces the touch of his fingers with his lips. Wylan gasps, adjusting the hand that had been touching Jesper's finger to brush against the side of his head. Jesper inhales the scent of sweat and lemon soap, leaving his lips on the mark like he can wipe it away.

"Your father is a monster," he finally whispers, lips moving against Wylan's bare skin. Jesper glances up to catch Wylan's eye in the mirror again and sees him smile. 

"Yeah," he says, "but the monsters I'm friends with are far scarier." 

The thought makes Jesper laugh. He wraps his arms around Wylan's waist, hugging him back against his chest and relishing the warmth of him. One more time, Jesper kisses the back of Wylan's neck. 

"Damn straight," he says. "Now, how about we ask your chef to make more of those waffles?" 

#this one got rather long (and i smushed two together) but i had a really specific idea for this! #also none of these fills are being edited or proofread and i wrote this one in a car so sorry if it's got glaring errors lmfao #kiss prompts #wesper #soc #six of crows #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #asks #ace-kaz-brekker

[victor-v]

happy international asexuality day to neil josten and happy iad to katniss everdeen and happy iad to victor vale and happy iad to sherlock holmes and happy iad to felicity montague and happy iad to kaz brekker and happy iad to laurent of vere and happy iad to nancy whitman and happy iad to artemis and athena and hestia and happy iad to aziraphale

#international asexuality day #books #ace #neil josten #katniss everdeen #victor vale #sherlock holmes #kaz brekker #felicity montague #laurent of vere #nancy whitman #artemis #athena #hestia #aziraphale

[mobydyke]

our good buddy count dracula: "you may go anywhere you wish in the castle, except where the doors are locked, where of course you will not wish to go. there is reason that all things are as they are."

jonny harker:

#ace txt #dracula #to quote kaz ''ah he'll be fine :) english just isn't the count's first language the ominous quality was probably just a translation error' #dracula daily #img id in alt

[deadaldipshit-jpg]

Characters i wholeheartedly believe are aspec of some sort

Madeline hatter

Reyna ramirez Arellano

Chiron

Tolya yul bataar

Clarisse la rue

Wednesday addams

Perry the platypus

Phineas and ferb

Feel free to add more to this list

#aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #aspec #madeline hatter #ever after high #reyna avila ramirez arellano #chiron #percy jackson #pjo #pjo hoo toa #tolya yul bataar #soc #sab #six of crows #shadow and bone #kaz brekker #clarisse la rue #wednesday addams #phineas and ferb #perry the platypus

[kazthropology]

miles edgeworth is just magistrate astarion

#kazthropology #kaz rambles #video games killed the radio star #video games #phoenix wright #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #astarion ancunin #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3

[tunaricebowl]

top this bottom that the real question is who’s bouba and who’s kiki

#tuna stuff #tuna memes #like i already posted it but in asoryuu ryuu is bouba and kaz is kiki #in narumitsu it’s a close one but phoenix is bouba and miles is kiki #ace attorney #kiki and bouba #vashwood: vash is kiki wolfwood is bouba #ship dynamics #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Before Your Kisses Turn Into Bruises

Summary: Kaz is stuck in a time loop. No matter how many times he tries, they still end up dying in his arms. Is there anything he can do to change this fate?

Word Count: 3360

CW: Blood mention, food mention, cursing

Kaz took a step forward, his cane thumping along with it. Anger mixed with protectiveness within his stance. It turned his voice cold and loud, passion running through it like water under a frozen canal. “No! You aren’t going on-!” He took another threatening step forward only to find himself back in his Slat office. The subject of his ire was now nowhere near him. Instead, he knew for a fact that they were approximately halfway across the district with as few cares in the world as a Barrel rat could have and listening to a street musician.

He growled in frustration and slammed his cane against the floor, listening to the sound reverberate in time with him. “Dammit!”

He had lost count of how many times this exact thing had happened already. Ten? More? Too many, that’s all he cared about. Too many times had he found Y/N, bruised and battered and seeming to only be hanging on to their life by sheer spite, only to have time seem to rewind and find himself back in his office. Even now, he had been through this same process so many times, each time only having few changes outside of what he did, he knew exactly where they were in that moment. 

Right then, they were watching a street musician play at the mouth of the Government District and would be there for the next few minutes. After that, they would go on a job Kaz had assigned them a few days ago. Little had he known it was almost a suicide mission he was sending them on and he wished with every fiber of his being that he hadn’t assigned it to them.

He had been through the night enough times to know how it would end. Y/N would come back to the Slat with bruises so dense across their body, their natural skin color would be almost unrecognizable. Kaz’s heart stuttered every time they came in with the bruises, every time he saw the blood running down their side and that determined look in their eye that said they would report what they knew or bleed out trying. Even before this Never ending Night, he hated to see them with even the smallest mark across their skin, no matter how it was inflicted. It was times like that that he wished he was the type of leader who could pull someone into his office and patch them up while getting the report. Instead, all he could do was order them to one of the gang’s mediks to get patched up before they, “stained my good rug with your blood.”

Kaz shook himself back to the present and picked up his coat. He breezed out of his office, coat slung over his arm and cane tapping the ground in an angry staccato. Just as he was in the middle of the entryway, he had an idea to possibly change this night again. Pausing, he turned and scanned the room until he found someone he wanted. He briefly spoke to the other Dregs member, who scurried away as soon as Kaz was finished speaking to them.

With his plans starting to come into place, he stepped out of the Slat and started down the street. Soon enough, he came to the street corner where Y/N was listening to a traditional Kaelic instrument being played. Their eyelashes fluttered against their cheeks as they kept their eyes closed to feel the music better. They leaned against a building, their hand gently swaying to the music. Kaz thought they looked like sound in human form, as if they were going to spring into a dance at any moment or fly into the wind and never be seen again as they spread joy to all who came across them.

When Y/N’s eyes opened, they seemed to instinctively find Kaz in the shadows on the other side of the square. There was a look in their eyes that did something to Kaz, a gravity about them that always tugged at him. It threatened now to pull him closer and into their orbit, closer than he would let almost anyone else get. He managed to resist that gravitational pull, but only just.

If he were free of his mind, he could stride over to them, sweep them into his arms, and show them just how much he thought of them. He’d kiss Y/N so soundly, they would be clinging to him to stay upright. They would be breathing heavily, eyes staying closed even when they both pull apart for air. He’d press them against the wall the way he’d seen other men do with lovers, using it to support both their weight as he pulled them insistently closer, as if they were the last breath of air he would ever breathe.

Instead, he watched as Y/N made their way across the small space of the intersection and came to stand at his side. “Kaz?” They asked, eyes shining in the light of the streetlamps and making them look ethereal. “Did you need something, Boss?”

Kaz shook himself out of the spell. “The job I had you on for the night. It’s canceled.”

“What?” Y/N stepped around him, blocking the alleyway he was turning down. “What do you mean? Did it get rescheduled? Or . . . “ Their voice trailed off, eyes betraying the fear that kept them from thinking of the alternative: that Kaz was deliberately taking them off a job he’d given to them specifically.

Y/N took a step back, disbelief on their face waring with the knowledge of the truth and the hurt they felt at it. “Kaz. You wouldn’t, would you?”

He sighed and continued his steps back to the Slat, a defeated Y/N trailing behind him. “I didn’t take you off the job because I thought you couldn’t do it. I did it because you’re needed on a different one tonight. Someone else is already filling the first one.”

The energy back in their steps caused them to quicken until they were walking two abreast. “This one better pay the same or more than the previous. Tonight was supposed to be my last job and you know that, Brekker.”

Kaz felt his heart twist at the mention of their plans and the impersonal address. Y/N was someone he had picked up off the streets himself. They’d been stealing from those under Dregs protection and had even managed to pickpocket a few of the Dregs themselves. When Kaz caught them being bold enough to go for Wylan’s bag, he’d offered a deal. Work for Kaz and pay back what was stolen, or be prepared to not be looked at kindly by anyone in the Barrel. They made the right choice and Kaz sent them on thieving jobs, what they were best at. Occasionally, they were sent to rough someone up or be a spider if it was needed. They did their job well, sneaking in and out of crowds with the same ease as most spiders sneak around buildings.

Their indenture almost fully paid back, Y/N had made it no secret that they planned to leave Ketterdam as soon as they were free from the Dregs. They’d even gone so far as to say there would be nothing they would miss and Ketterdam would hold no lost love from them.

Love.

Kaz loved them. The revelation was so sudden, it almost made him stop in his tracks. He stole a glance at the Dregs next to him, wondering at the thought that made everything fall into place. How had he been so blind as to not see it before?

Quickly, he stepped down a different alley at the nearest crossroads, changing the plans for the evening. Y/N stayed silent next to him, unaware of his original plans nor his new ones. It didn’t take long to come to the sparkles and glam that was the showier side of the pleasure district. Y/N stayed close to him as they wound through the buildings.

Eventually, he stopped at a small theater that was out of the way but always showing something. Y/N bounced on the balls of their feet, a throwing dagger slipping into each hand. “What’s the mark here, Kaz?”

He glanced up at the title of the play being shown. He didn’t know why he’d come here. Maybe he needed to think.

No, that wasn’t true. He knew exactly why he’d come here. If his life was this one night repeated forever, he was going to have at least a few turns of it be good. He wanted to take them here, to watch a play and talk about it like a normal courting pair. Because he wanted to court them.

Ghezen, he was in deep.

He knew from previous loops that no matter what kind of interference he ran on the job, it always ended the same way. So, he was taking them away from the job. If even his presence on it with them caused them to still almost die in his arms back at the Slat, there was nothing to be done about the job. Let the other Dregs deal with it, they could have other methods of avoiding the danger or getting stitched up by the mediks. Right now, Kaz was being selfish. He couldn’t hold them, couldn’t bring them close and whisper sweet nothings into their ears. Nor could he kiss them the way he wanted, keep them safe in any way possible except this way.

So, if the ambush always results the same and Y/N never remembers the previous tries through, there was nothing left to do on the job but not go. Instead, he switched his tactics to being selfish. He wanted to spend this night with them, even if it was the only night he would ever see again, especially if that. If they were to leave him as soon as their next job paid enough, the most he could do for himself is to spend this one night telling himself he did what he could. He needed to show himself they didn’t want him, not the way he wanted them. The way their eyes shone wasn’t for him, their smile wasn’t broader when he was around, their humming and dancing was not for him to experience. He didn’t deserve them and they didn’t want him and he needed to use tonight to truly understand that.

So, they sat together and watched the show. Y/N asked if the job was in the theater and Kaz just squeezed their hand through a glove and told them to enjoy the play. When it was over, Kaz took them walking down the pier where there was some dancing and music, a few people offering snacks. Kaz paid for the food, a welcome warmth against the chill of the night. Y/N hummed along to the music.

Kaz watched them, the way they almost seemed to glow from the inside with joy at the music, the tapping of their feet that begged to dance, even just the way they held themself was gorgeous. His eyes couldn’t move from them, as if he could commit that moment to memory the same way he did numbers and documents.

All of a sudden, it was pulled away. One moment Kaz was staring at Y/N and enjoying life, the next he was breathing in the smoke tinged air of his office. No matter how many times it had been cleaned, nothing could remove the smell of Per Haskell’s old pipe. Kaz took a few more greedy gulps of the almost rancid air to clear his head.

The next sequence went much the same as that one. Kaz found them in the square, called off their job, and asked for their company for the rest of the night. Even so, all they could talk about was Y/N leaving. They sat on a park bench in the brightly lit University District and Kaz asked about where they planned to go when they paid him off. They didn’t say, only that they might never step foot in Kerch again.

Kaz felt his heart break again just as he found himself back in his office, sitting in his chair and looking out the window.

Not willing to give up, he did it again. He hastily pulled his coat on, yelling to a Dregs to take Y/N’s job, and stormed out the door. He stopped once again at that street crossing, watching Y/N soak in the music as if it were the one thing to energize them. He stepped through the crowd, watching the way they mouthed along with the song. He had done this exact moment so many times, Kaz was sure he could sing along with the song himself. 

When they opened their eyes, Kaz was in front of them. “The job is off, someone else is handling it for the night, I need your company instead tonight.”

Y/N nodded, their eyes wary. “Okay, boss, what are we doing?”

He took a deep breath and did the only thing he could. “Whatever you want. I’m paying off the last of your indenture from my own pocket. If you want to consider this your last night in Ketterdam, so be it. Just know, you will always be a Dregs. You can keep doing jobs and get more money, keeping all of it. Even if you don’t, you bear the Crow and Cup and that marks you as one of us until the day you die.”

Y/N nodded, eyes soft with unshed tears. “Kaz, I-”

“You don’t need to say anything right now. Just allow me to spend this night with you doing whatever you wish.”

Y/N shut their mouth and instead started walking down the street. Kaz trailed behind them, keeping watch for anything that would ruin the last time they would spend together. If he wasn’t to be pulled out of this night, he didn’t want his last memory of them to be walking away from him forever or dying in his arms. Instead, he wanted their smile lighting up brighter than the moon, he wanted their joy wrapping him in the warmest cloak ever. He wanted them. Pure and simple. There was nothing else he could do but want them, even if they forgot what had happened come morning.

That time around was the easiest with them and the best one. Kaz kept every moment locked in his mind, determined to remember every detail of how they looked in the moonlight, their joy and light and the essence of them that had pulled him from a dark place.

Finally, both lounging in Kaz’s sitting room that had replaced his attic office, Y/N brought it up again. Leaving. Kaz couldn't help the way he felt heat rise in his chest, as if the long buried anger from many rounds ago had finally caught up with him.

“Why?” The word came out so cold and hard, as if it were an icicle he hurled at them in defense of his thawed heart.

Y/N took a step back. “Kaz? Why what?”

He sighed, hands clenching on his cane in an attempt to rein in the anger they didn’t deserve directed at them. “Why are you leaving? Is this place not good enough for you? Are you so desperate to seek out more you are willing to trample others to get there?”

Y/N’s brow furrowed. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. Kaz, you’re starting to scare me.”

“Good!” He almost threw the word at them. “Be scared, be as scared as I am!”

With that, it was like a gate opened and the words came pouring out like water. “Because I’m scared, deathly so! I’m scared of putting a name to the feelings I’ve had for years now, scared that as soon as I put that word to what I’ve been feeling that my heart will shatter at the impossibility of it all. Scared you’re going to leave me, to go away to someplace else and find someone who can love you the way I’ve always longed to. I love you so much and I’m so scared of losing you and this is going to kill me if it keeps happening.”

Without realizing it, tears had started to course down his cheeks. “Please,” his voice started to break with the effort of admitting all of this. “Please, Y/N, don’t leave me, you can’t. You can’t go away and find someone soft to love, I don’t know what would happen to me. I’ve dragged myself up tooth and nail with just the sight of your light to guide me, I don’t know what would happen when that light is no longer there. I’m-I’m not strong enough to do this alone, I need you. I know it’s not right, it’s not fair, it’s selfish of me to say it. But I’m a selfish man so, please, stay with me.”

“Oh, Kaz,” they started, taking a step closer to him.

Kaz backed up. “No, I don’t need your pity. If you’re going to leave, just do it quietly. I don’t know what would happen should I actually have to watch you leave.” He dropped into his chair, head falling into his hands to hide the tears and give himself a moment to recover. “Please, just, do as you wish. Don’t let me influence you.”

Footsteps crossed the floor until Y/N was crouched before him, ducking their head down enough to see him. “Kaz, darling, I’m not going anywhere.” They laughed. “The only reason I said I would leave is because I love you.”

Kaz raised his head slowly, brows furrowed in confusion. “What? What do you mean?”

“I love you but seeing you always being so cold to me, I thought you didn’t feel the same. So, I was determined to leave Ketterdam and leave you alone. I thought it would be better that way. It broke my heart to decide and every step closer, every word we spoke about it tonight, only tore my heart into smaller pieces.”

Kaz looked into their eyes, his gaze intent and searching. “Do you still want to leave?”

Y/N shook their head, a smile and laugh brightening the room. “Not in the slightest. I’m here to stay.”

Before his courage and elation could fail him, Kaz stood and pulled Y/N to their feet as well. One hand went up to cup their cheek, leather sliding against skin until they fit together perfectly. The other hand held their waist, pulling them in. For a brief moment, Kaz stared at their neck, watching the skin there faintly pulse in time with their heartbeat. He needed to know they were alive, and there with him on dry land, not dead in the water.

Y/N looked at him with those eyes he adored so much and he couldn’t help but lean in and press his lips to theirs. It was gentle and soft and only lasted for a few heartbeats before he had to pull back, the water rising around him. Already, he could feel the cold and wet hands grasping at him and threatening to drag him under again.

Y/N smiled at him, tucking a stray hair behind his ear. “Oh, look, the sun’s rising! We rarely ever get such a clear view of the sunrise unless it’s a countryside job, but I do love it so.”

He turned to look out the window at the night finally coming to an end. He was still there, seeing the sunrise for the first time in a week. Smiling, he pulled Y/N in again and kissed their face, feeling the puffs of their breath on his cheeks and chin as he worked his way around it. Those kisses would not be reset, they would not be wiped away to be replaced with the bruises of a job gone horribly wrong. Those kisses would instead stay on Y/N’s smiling face.

Taglist (Check out my masterlist before sending an ask to be added!): @lou-hadrian-gardna26 @brekkers-desigirl @nyx2021 @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @winstonthecow22

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#ace writes #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #gender neutral reader #confessions #time loop #kissing #get together fic

[neptune-scythe]

What if all the Crows were asexual 👀

Hear me out tho

Kaz and Inej: apothisexual, aka sex repulsed

Wylan: aceflux or graysexual meaning he fluctuates between what would be considered allosexual and asexual, or his attraction is somehow not what would typically be considered allosexual

Jesper: fraysexual meaning he's only attracted to people he doesn't know or have an emotional bond with (the opposite of demisexual)

Matthias: aegosexual, he likes the idea of it but doesn't actually feel the attraction or desires so likely won't do it

Nina: cupiosexual, similar to Matthias she likes the idea of it, but doesn't actually feel attracted to anyone in that way, tho she may still do it

Kuwei: lithosexual, he would only feel attracted to those who don't reciprocate those feelings

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

#as an apothisexual i hated making this post #but also i loved it because education is important and i am passionate about this #awareness /pos #having to talk about sex in any capacity /neg #grishaverse #six of crows #grishaverse headcanon #six of crows headcanon #queer headcanon #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #kuwei yul bo #asexual #ace #apothisexual #aceflux #graysexual #fraysexual #aegosexual #cupiosexual #lithosexual #ace crows #ace headcanon #asexual headcanons #ace spectrum #acespec

[altho-arto]

Ryulock Week, Summer Edition 2023 - Day 2: Heat / Refreshments | 熱 / 軽食 (image description in alt)

Modern AU - This date at the waterpark is going great !

#ryulock #herlock sholmes #ryuunosuke naruhodou #dgs #the great ace attorney #summerryulockweek2023 #ryulockweek2023 #my art #in my mind theyre on their way to join the others who are already swimming (iris barok and yujin probably) #or enjoying the fun rides (gina haori susato +kaz accompanying them but regretting it deeply)

[6point5crows]

Yes, Kanej can heal from their trauma. Yes, Kanej can desire for physical touch. Yes, Kanej can have all that.

Though Kanej can still have days where they don’t want any of that. Kanej can still have a desire to not have any physical touch. Kanej can have actual feelings that fluctuate and change and be more than all of that.

My personal headcanon?

Kanej is ace, absolutely. They can have days where they want to have physical affections and once healed, have those physical affections if so desired, but there’s also some days where they don’t want any of that at all. A lot of days where they’d rather be in the same room but not touching. Time periods where they’d rather show their love and affections via not having physical affections. I headcanon that they often do have many days where even after healed, they would rather just not hold hands, rather not kiss, rather not a lot of that. Like yes they can still have moments and days where they do want that, but that’s not all they are, either.

Normalize people and ships having boundaries and fluctuating comfort levels and desires.

Which, along with that, does fluctuate my headcanon of these two as well! Some days I have this opinion and other days I am fully “no physical intimacy” headcanon. And that is completely okay. I’m allowed to have my opinions and thoughts and headcanons for these characters. I’m allowed to have it change day by day and claim that their own comfort levels would too.

#six of crows #grishaverse #inej #Kaz #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #ace #asexual #kanej #ace kanej #headcanon

[cosmxc-ars3hol3]

kaz brekker is ace to me.

and on a similar note, inej is grey asexual to me as well

#six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #soc #asexual #ace #gray ace #gray asexual

[suuho]

to be abundantly clear, there is not a single fourth gen idol that could do this, or could have done this, and he did it barely a year into his career.

#AND I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE DOWNPLAYING HIS TALENT #HE WAS NINETEEN HERE #NINETEEN!!!!!!!! #LIKE #idgaf nobody is even in touching distance of him #the last great ace of kpop #jongho #ateez #kaz talks