#Anyways unless I plan to reverse back in time a bit for an update

[intotheelliwoods]

Masterpost

Update on what the mindscape is currently looking like...

#2 arms left #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #leonardo hamato #Anyways unless I plan to reverse back in time a bit for an update #we should be done with aftermath stuff! #I think I am going to be back on my weekly update schedule with an update each weekend #yay #least I will try

[emilia3546]

Shadowsinger -Part 19

ACOSF Spoilers! Do Not read this unless you have finished ACOSF and the Azriel bonus chapter*

Masterlist with all previous chapters

*****

With Azriel double checking their plans to get into the Mortal Palace, Gwyn was free to help Nesta and Emerie in designing a training program for the Illyrian females. Most of them had clipped wings, only the youngest did not, so any training would be land-based, and there wasn't enough time for aerial combat for those who could fly anyway. Gwyn hadn't even considered them being on the front lines, but they could perhaps form an auxiliary force, the last line to break, the surprise that the rebels weren't expecting. Still, not everyone wanted to train, and not all of them could bear to fight, not when they might face fathers, husbands, brothers, sons on the other side of the battlefield. Even those who could not, or would not, fight could still be helpful though. It had been Emerie who had suggested that Madja and Velaris' healers run some medical training for those who preferred to help in that way. Nesta's eyes had darkened with rage at the thought of the grievous injuries that would undoubtedly be sustained when the fighting broke out, and Gwyn threw an arm over her shoulders, knowing that she was recalling Cassian's injuries from the last war.

"The most important thing will be on the battlefield," Gwyn mused, "The issue with our healers is that they are based at camps, so casualties can't reach them. If we can get a group of medics on the battlefield, at least trained to defend themselves if necessary, but with the key skills to keep casualties alive until they can be seen by a healer, we'll be in a much better position. Especially if those medics are female, they'll be ignored and overlooked." Nesta nodded her agreement, and Emerie suggested a few females that she knew who might be interested in such a role.

"Every Illyrian female knows some basic healing skills, but nothing that would work on a battlefield, we'll have to get word out quickly, and hope that the males don't object." Nesta grinned, 

"Oh, they won't object, not if I personally send out invitations to classes. They think I'm a witch, and they're scared shitless of me, my presence on a battlefield might hopefully convince the rebels to think twice, although, perhaps not, if they're willing to rebel against their High Lord and Lady."

"Oh they'll definitely think twice about fighting you, sweetheart," Cassian chuckled, starling all females as he strode through the open door and kissed the top of Nesta's head, she shrugged, 

"I'll just have to make them think that I'll cast a spell to cut their balls off," Cassian laughed again,

"Such a beautiful, violent female," he murmured, casting his gaze across the training plans,

"Any changes you suggest?" Gwyn asked, keen to break up the way both Nesta and Cassian had looked at each other just then,

"It's pretty good, but I'd focus a little more on hand-to-hand combat, we don't have time to fully build up to swords, perhaps fighting knives would be better. They're lighter, and females are smaller, quicker, lighter than males, knives would allow them to use that to their advantage in a fight, even against a male wielding a broadsword." Gwyn noted down Cassian's suggestions, leaving the final decisions to Nesta and Emerie, it would be them, after all, who oversaw the training, Gwyn would be working with Azriel to remain one step ahead of the rebels, and the queens.

Gwyn noted the room slowly filling up, but it didn't bother her, it didn't bother her that with Amren was that dark-skinned male whom she hardly knew. She merely acknowledged his presence with a nod, her attention fixed on finishing her portion of the the plans, leaning back in her chair, and stretching. Azriel was the last to arrive, automatically making his way across to Gwyn and resting a hand on the back of her chair. She tipped her head sideways to slightly touch that hand. Azriel would never be one for public affection like Cassian and Nesta, but, like Cassian, he needed that contact, needed the contact he had been denied for so long to remind himself that she didn't hate him, that she loved him, that he was worthy of her love, had always been. Even Amren had stifled a smile at Gwyn's subtle display of affection, and Theia was practically beaming with joy at the way Azriel had relaxed at Gwyn's touch, the tension in his muscles releasing before he spoke,

"Gwyn and I have finalized a way into the Mortal Palace. We will have to go alone, and ordinarily, I wouldn't even suggest bringing her at this point in her training, but she has contacts within, and outside the Palace. She is our way in, and our way to send reports back here. We'll spell the reports, but only to one person, I can't work a spell more complicated than that." He looked to Rhys and Feyre, "Who do want me to spell it to?" Feyre shuffled in her seat,

"Rhys." Rhys made to complain, but Feyre raised a hand, "He has more experience, and will know the key things to look for, especially with reports from you, you know each other's way of working better than me, I'm still learning how to be High Lady. And," she added with a sigh, "I have to feed Nyx several times every night, I'm tired, I might miss something." Rhys sighed but nodded,

"Spell the reports to me then. When can you expect to get in?"

"We'll leave tomorrow," Gwyn answered, "There's only a few final preparations needed, Azriel can winnow us onto the continent, but we'll have to travel the rest of the way on foot, by air it'll be too visible, and to winnow any closer might set off wards, besides, some of my friends live a few miles out. We should be able to get into the Palace within a week, unless we come across something unaccounted for, I'd expect the first update about a week after that, give or take." Azriel nodded, 

"I'll only be wearing two siphons most of the time, and we won't be in full armor, the aim is to get in disguised as a rebel warrior and his wife." He paused for a moment, and Gwyn nodded, encouraging him to continue after a moment's hesitation. "Gwyn will be noticed at once as out of place," Azriel turned to Rhys, "Can you glamour her to appear Illyrian? You only need to give her wings." Still, wings were the most difficult part of that request, if he couldn't make a glamour look realistic, Gwyn had already agreed to allow them to attempt to shift her into an Illyrian body. Rhys pursed his lips,

"I can try, but I don't know if I'l be able to make them move naturally if I'm not there, the innate magic may not be enough." Gwyn knew that, but she still asked him to try, and closed her eyes at the touch of night-flecked power on her. "Just move about a bit, Gwyn, let me see if it works without me actively moving it around." She got up, walked a couple of laps on the room, threw a couple of punches at the air, turned around quickly, but her face fell at the silence around her,

"It's not working is it?"

"No, I'm sorry," Rhys muttered, "The only other way would be to shift your body into that of an Illyrian. I can definitely do that, and then reverse it when you're back, but it would involve me changing your body." He said carefully, slowly gauging her reaction

"I know." Gwyn said, her chin held high as the glamour lifted, "Az already warned me, and it's okay. I trust him, and everyone in this room," there was a moment of surprise in Rhys' eyes as he glanced towards Varian, "Even him. He has been nothing but kind and respectful, and he has already earned all of your trust, I would be foolish not to trust him as well, if all of you do, he must have proved himself several times."

"That he has," Rhys mused, and offered Feyre a questioning glance, falling silent for a moment before Feyre broke the silence, 

"We think it'll be better if I do this, I have more experience with different types of shifting, and I have shifted myself into an Illyrian form many times. I've also seen, and felt the magic's imprint, when Tamlin shifted others into different forms, Rhys has only ever shifted himself into his beast form. Gwyn nodded, altogether more comfortable with Feyre's magic, as a female, it somehow felt familiar, less alien and frightening. "This will probably tingle a bit and feel odd, but it won't hurt." Gwyn mentally braced herself, almost flinching at the tingle in her shoulders, then expanding across her whole body. She opened her eyes once the tingling had faded, she felt the same, but the moment she moved something felt wrong, different. Her balance was off, something pulling her backwards. She flexed her shoulders, and a whoosh of air alerted her to the wings now flaring out behind her. She flinched at the sound of breaking china,

"Sorry," she muttered, and wriggled the wings around a bit before figuring out how to close them. The one thing that she had expected to bother her didn't, the weight of the wings was less than she'd thought it would be, and her training had built up her muscles so that she could carry them easily without worrying about dragging them on the floor. 

"You could fly if you wanted to," Feyre said, "I've made them look clipped as that's what would make sense, but the tendons and muscles beneath are normal, and I don't expect there'll be much time for you to learn to fly anyway, but in an emergency you will be able to." Gwyn nodded, "You should get used to moving around with them, and fighting, it feels a bit different to usual, your center of balance is shifted backwards, so it just takes a bit of getting used to." 

"I'm sure it will, we have until lunch tomorrow to get ready, so hopefully I'll be re-balanced by then. It should definitely be before we reach the Palace at any rate."

*****

Gwyn had adjusted to the wings remarkably quickly, the walk to the training ring seeming to be long enough for her to figure out how her balance needed to shift. She warmed up normally, albeit a little slower than usual, but she didn't seem to have any issues, not ones that she needed Azriel's help with anyway.

"Okay, just practice unfolding and folding your wings for now, we can do something more once you're comfortable with that." Gwyn nodded, and flared out her wings, faster than before, and stumbled backwards, Azriel stifled a chuckle at her surprise, but she folded them in, then out again, and kept her balance. She kept going until she could do it while walking around, sitting down, drawing a weapon. She cursed Azriel's name soundly when he made her practice doing it while running and drawing a weapon at the same time, a wooden practice sword. Gwyn had questioned what the point was in using a practice sword, but as she clipped the corner of a wing and tripped up, rolling to regain her feet she just glared at him. "Go again," he chuckled, "Any child can do this,"

"Any child can do this," she mimicked, glaring at him, and he laughed,

"I do not sound like that," She just huffed, but did as she was told, falling several more times before she fixed her timing and drew the sword from a sheath at her side consistently without falling. The moment she was confident with that, Azriel switched the sheath to one down her spine. She could do it standing still on the first try, but the moment she started moving, her wings moved a bit, and she kept hitting them, sending her sprawling onto the floor. She groaned, but kept getting back up, slapping away Azriel's hand when he extended it, a multitude of profanities falling from her lips each time. He could barely hold back his laughter at the sight of Gwyn, usually so balanced and elegant, falling on her ass, and swearing enough to put even Cassian to shame. Still, a beautiful rosy blush was now staining her cheeks, and she was panting slightly in the sun's punishing heat. "One more." He called, and Gwyn flipped him off before taking off at a sprint, and whooping in delight when she drew her sword without incident, looking back at him and grinning with undisguised joy. "Take a break."

"No. I want to fight," she complained,

"Break. Once we start combat training we'll go until you're ready to drop, break. Now." He left no room for argument, but Gwyn still rolled her eyes as she nudged past him to get to the water he'd brought out. She'd made a hundred such gestures, but each time he couldn't help the rush of delight that washed over him that she was able to be this comfortable whilst alone with a male, let alone that male being him. She was still experimenting with the position of her wings, but stopped when she noticed Azriel's attention, muttering something about overbearing busybodies before practically bouncing up to him and demanding that they move on to combat. Azriel couldn't help but match her energy, not as she grinned and almost danced on the spot when he agreed, but he did make her walk through her patterns first, demonstrating them so that she could see what he did with his wings. He did warn her not to think too much about them though, with the muscles at the base, they would re-balance subconsciously, even though she hadn't been born with them.

As with almost everything he had ever thrown at her, Gwyn took back to fighting with surprising ease, enough that he was confident to agree to spar at the end of their training session. He moved a little slower than usual, his blows lighter than usual, giving Gwyn a little extra time to balance to parry each blow and then retaliate. She, however, did not hold back, and at times it felt like she was trying to knock Azriel's head off, and very nearly succeeded at one point, with Azriel only just dodging the blow and ducking under her blade to force her to turn. As she spun round, the momentum forced her wings out, and she struggled to balance, flaring them out further, and Azriel yelped when she smacked him across the face, having failed to step far enough back. Gwyn froze at the sound, finally regaining her balance and whirled to find Azriel taking a few steps back to a healthy distance,

"Oh, I'm sorry!" She rushed towards him, and pulled his face down, inspecting the slightly reddened skin of his cheek, and tutted to herself, "Sorry," she whispered again, and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, "There. That's better," she said, "I think we'd better call it a day there, I'm getting tired, so I'll just end up doing that again otherwise." Azriel nodded, then gently caught her wrist, turning her back towards him,

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just, I don't know," she shrugged, "I'm fine though, I'm fine," he raised an eyebrow at that, she seemed to be convincing herself more than him,

"Pre-mission nerves?"

"I guess," she sighed, "I'll be fine once we've got there."

"I want to show you something, how I always got over it." Gwyn smirked at that,

"And what would that be?" 

"Hold on," that was the only warning Gwyn got before he scooped her up and launched upwards, leaving her screaming and throwing her arms around his neck. Azriel flapped again, rising up and up and up, until Velaris was just a mosaic of lights below them, he leveled out and Gwyn whooped in delight, before smacking him on the arm,

"Asshole!" She hissed, but Azriel just chuckled and pretended to drop her, making her squeal again, and cling on to him tighter, burying her face in his neck, "I hate you," she mumbled, but still relaxed into him, and pressed another kiss against the cheek her wing had smacked, 

"Really hold on now," Azriel murmured, this time waiting until she was clinging on before offering her a cocky smirk, and falling out of the sky. A scream tore from Gwyn's throat as they fell, tumbling through the air, his wings blowing up around them as the wind rushed past, whipping Azriel's hair around his face. Quickly Gwyn's screams turned into shouts and whoops of delight, the wind tearing her hair out of her braid, sending it flying out behind her, and Azriel laughed, truly laughed, pulling her in for a kiss. He clutched her tighter against his chest, flipping over so that he could see the ground, and Gwyn screamed again as it approached,

"Pull up!" She screamed, "We're going to crash!"

"Trust me," Azriel murmured in her ear, and she trembled at his voice, almost imperceptibly arching into him at that little reminder of last night. She buried her face in Azriel's neck again, not even opening them at the rush of wind as he flapped hard, mere feet from the ground just outside the city. He circled lazily upwards, cruising over the city, and Gwyn finally opened her eyes, and smiled,

"Can we do that again?" Azriel grinned, 

"Going to keep your eyes open this time, Valkyrie?"

"Going to try and kill me again, Shadowsinger?"

"Never," he murmured, but gave no warning before folding his wings in again and plummeting towards the earth, holding Gwyn so that the wind rippled against her own newly formed wings. The look of wonder on her face as she felt the wind was unrivaled in beauty, and Azriel clutched her hands, "Do you trust me?"

"Always," she hesitated only a heartbeat before taking his hands and turning onto her belly, holding Azriel's hands in front of her, 

"Wings out," she did as he said, and he did so at the same time, the wind slowing as it caught their wings. Azriel angled towards an updraft, and Gwyn laughed with joy as she was pushed up in the air, with her wings automatically catching the breeze. She whooped again, and let Azriel guide her through Velaris' winds and currents, leaving them both wind-chilled but laughing uncontrollably when he pulled her into his chest and dove through their bedroom window. "Nest step, flying on your own." He whispered, and Gwyn shook her head disbelievingly, 

"That's a big step."

"Need me to hold your hand?" Azriel teased, and Gwyn's competitive gleam reappeared in her eyes,

"I'll be flying better than you in no time." She declared, sweeping off to the bathroom before he could respond. He chuckled to himself, still staring after the female who had made him open his heart to the world, who had seen the shadows and the person he sometimes had to be and had decided to love all of him, flaws and all. It made his heart ache with love, greater than he'd ever felt, he didn't need a mating bond, he didn't need what Rhys and Cassian had, he just needed her. He just needed Gwyn.

#fanfiction #fanfic #azriel x gwyn #Azriel #Azwyn #Gwyn #gwynriel #Gwyn acosf #gwyneth berdara #acotar #acosf #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames

[bts-reveries]

OHMYYYYGOOSSSHHHHHHH!!!! I predicted a miscarriage but like not in the past :O I feel sadistic for saying this but I really thought something bad would happen to mae or the baby. I'm so happy nothing happened. Is this a story of where everything gets worse before it gets better?😂😂 In a way you have prepared for angst and sad stuff cz your stories became more and more angsty as time went on?😂 I feel that a bit hehe. Ahh finally the whole story comes out (unless you have more unexpected stuff to surprise us with•_•). It was a sad chapter:( But it's like the kind of sad that gets better and will kind of reach a happy end you know? So that comforts my heart. Like the previous chapters when mae and jin were fighting and then with sarang it hurt so much cz like the story just kept getting more and more sad....but now I feel it will become lighter and happier after this. Ah I really loved this chapter even if it was sad. Jin basically would have understood what sarang was talking about in that other chapter but he didn't say anything🥺🥺 Mae and Jin are like the best elder sibling to their younger friends because they are so considerate...always helping them out with anything and yet they keep their own heart break and problems to themselves to the point everyone thought they had no problems. I don't think I've felt this sad reading a chapter from your stories since the chapter about moonji's mum passing away from page turner. That still breaks my heart. Oh jin😭😭😭 That last sentence he said...I CRIED. My heart broke for him. I hate myself for writing such long asks after every update but i just have sooo many thoughts about everythingggg😂😭 Can't wait for the next update! This chapter was soo good. Also yeah I guess we like angst eventhough we don't like it🥴

i feel like that's what a lot of people were expecting but hey! expect the unexpected ;) hehehe and yes! definitely the reverse of the calm before the storm once the rain has passed~ we get sunshine and rainbows~ LOL yeah. we made it angsty as it went on, idk why but i think it just got even worse(in terms of more angst) because i got used to writing??? hey it's been two years since i started this and daddy diaries was only my SECOND smau 🙊😂 so yes i knew what the people wanted i guess and made it super angsty.

i do have some surprises O__O but fun ones i guess! it was sad :( i got sad on this one..and definitely will reach a happy ending, you will never catch me making a not happy ending T.T i do not plan to do that to myself or others 😂 yes that was the plan to just make it seem like "oh this is the angst she was talking about" and then me hitting you guys with a "no keep going" ASDFGH but yes! this might have been the saddest chapter but you kinda feel the weight starting to lift off bc even though it was sad, everything's kinda making sense now and you know it already got better just because they talked it out and explained, you know? OMG YES. he kept quiet, he couldn't say it yet yeah, you know how they say the happiest people are the saddest ones? is that how the saying goes? well anyways, it's basically like that i think.

omg the page turner scene, yeah that was SAD SAD. i made my sister cry on that one and she never cries( so i think that was a success lol) YES omg that was just a recent idea i had and was like oh wait.. this would be perfect to say like it makes sense. it was the perfect touch i think, it makes me wanna give him a hug NO I LIKE IT! it's okay, i love love love your feedbacks because i feel like you know exactly what i'm trying to say you know? i also give you super long replies back😂 thank you thank you! and yes you all definitely do 😂😂

#miya asks #expect the unexpected

[jaehyun-eclipsed]

Before I Met You | Seventeen

Updates: Sundays

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark, Jaemin, Johnny) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Author’s Note: Hi! Thank you so much for reading this far! This is definitely a long read so I am very grateful for your patience and willingness to continue following along with me. With this being the last chapter for Jaemin’s story, Johnny’s story should be starting next Sunday. However, I have a few things going on in the next couple weeks and so Johnny’s story will begin on 8/16. Additionally, if you have any feedback - what you like, what could be improved, etc. - please let me know! I am looking to make this story better! But anyway, without further ado, please enjoy the final installment of Jaemin’s story. 

Before I Met You Masterlist

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“He just went downstairs. Should I do it?”

The hallway window on the other side of the house can be seen from my room. I watch Jaemin’s figure as he rounds the corner and heads downstairs towards the kitchen. 

“It’s up to you,” my dad responds.

“Okay, I’ll call you back.”

I hang up the phone and grab my nearly full water bottle to go down to the kitchen. Booming thunder makes me jump as I grab the doorknob. The sky is gray – gloomy from the intermittent rain all Sunday morning. My heart begins pounding.  

Come on, Y/N, it’s going to be fine. It’s just a question. You’re not even asking him out. You just want to find out how he feels… And if it goes well, THEN maybe we’ll ask him out.

Jaemin is filling up his water bottle. He’s wearing an over-sized t-shirt and basketball shorts and his hair looks a bit disheveled as if he woke up not too long ago. He obviously didn’t have any plans to go out today.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey.”

His gaze drops down to my lower body, scanning up and down my legs. My body freezes halfway to the water dispenser, breath hitching in my throat as I open my mouth to say something. The seconds have slowed down. The individual drops from the occasionally leaky kitchen faucet splash against the sink. The turning of textbook pages echoes from the dining room. My mouth has gone dry.  

Do it.

“I think we should do it this way,” Jia says from the neighboring room.

Never mind, don’t do it.

Jaemin looks right past me and walks away without another word.

I let out a sigh of relief and take a large gulp of water, mentally kicking myself for being such a wimp.

Well so much for that.

“You chickened out,” Dad says immediately upon answering my second call.

“I can’t… I can’t do it,” I say in between laughs. “I couldn’t do it! And also, Jia is downstairs!”

To my surprise, he imitates how the brief exchange occurred exactly.

“Yeah, that’s basically what happened! I said, ‘hi!’ and then I felt my heart pounding in my chest and thought, ‘Just say hey and ask him.’ Then I thought, ‘No! Don’t do it!’” I continue nervously laughing. “This must be terrifying for guys!” I exclaim.

“Yes. That’s why a lot of these things happen. They intend to do it, but fear overcomes them,” he responds.

“Okay, we’ll have to try again later. I thought about going outside to ask him, but he doesn’t have his keys…”

“And be in the rain?”

I pause for a moment. “That sounds so dramatic, but yeah! If he doesn’t have his keys and something goes badly, and I leave first, he’s going to get locked out. Then I’ll have to go out and say, ‘Sorry, didn’t mean for you to get locked out.’”

“Right. ‘Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to lock you out just because you said ‘no,’” he says sarcastically.

“Exactly! Now I’m thinking about how Lucas did it because he was probably like, ‘One, two, three, go!’”

“Right, but he didn’t have to say anything.”

“True, but it still could have been a rejection.”

“That’s true, but it’s still a little bit easier.”

All Lucas had to do was see how I reacted to him taking my hand. Granted, it would’ve been a little bit more difficult for me to turn him down given that grabbing my hand didn’t exactly give me too many options unless I wanted to cause a scene.

A flash of lightning adds a brief hint of silvery blue to the gray sky. Within a few seconds, rain starts pelting against the window.

“It’s raining again,” I eventually remark. “There aren’t many people around, it seems.”

“It seems like it would be a good day to do it then. Few people are around.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s in his room by himself. Do you think this is a good idea?”

“It’s up to you.”

“I honestly have nothing to lose.”

“You’re right. You don’t.”

“And if I don’t ask, then I lose out on ever knowing.”

“Okay, I’m going to get off the phone so that I don’t influence you either way.”

“Wait!”

“Bye!”

“Wait, I –”  

Great, now what do I do? I should just do it. This is ridiculous.

I begin pacing throughout my room and bathroom, occasionally looking in the mirror to repeat words of encouragement to myself.

“You can do this.”

No, you can’t. You can’t do this.  

Oh my God, yes, you can! This is dumb, Y/N. You have nothing to lose.  

Yes, you do. You guys are decent friends now. If you do this and he says ‘no,’ he might not talk to you anymore.  

Oh, who cares? He’s probably moving into an apartment. It’s not like we’re going to talk much next year anyway. I may not even see him.

I look at the clock as a wave of nausea washes over me. It’s fifteen minutes past two.

“Okay, you’re going to do it in five minutes.”

Oh my God, what are you doing?

My breathing increases until I start to hyperventilate. A jumble of panicked and incomplete thoughts runs through my head, quickly jumping from optimism to pessimism in the same sentence. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. He’s going to say – don’t worry about that – maybe he wo – he’s going to say “no.” My heart races and I run into the bathroom, opening the toilet seat as I fear I might actually throw up.  

Holy shit. I didn’t realize that people were actually serious when they say that they’re so nervous they could throw up. They didn’t make that up.  

In a surprising moment of clarity, my facial expression changes to one of displeasure as I am feeling slightly scornful of my behavior. 

What are you freaking out about? It’s nothing.

“Forget it,” I mumble to myself.

I open the door and begin making confident strides towards Jaemin’s room. The soft strumming of a guitar makes me feel somewhat at ease. Okay, he’s not busy. He’s playing the guitar so he’s probably relaxed. Taking a deep breath, I lift my hand and just as my fist is about to come into contact with his door...

Ha! Nope!

I’m light on my toes as I run back to my room. I press my back against my door and slowly slide down until I’m sitting on the floor, huffing as I chastise myself for being so scared.

“Holy shit. Why are you such a chicken?” I say between gritted teeth.

I resume the nervous pacing and mental swearing of how ridiculous the whole situation is. You’ve been preparing for this for two weeks! You’re not even asking him out! You’re just asking him what’s going on! A disappointed sigh escapes my lips as I think back to being so ready to do this and now that it’s finally time, I am chickening out. But in the back of my mind, I know that I’ll really kick myself this summer if I don’t do it. Jaemin and I don’t text as casual friends so the likelihood that we would text during the summer is basically zero.

I want to know.

I have to know.  

I need an ending.  

But what if he says ‘no’?  

Who cares if he says, ‘no’? Frankly, I don’t really care what the answer is. Obviously it would be better if he says ‘yes’, but if he says ‘no,’ at least I’ll know. It will be over and I can move on with my life. He’s probably going to say ‘no’ anyway.  

The thoughts become a bit more demeaning and I begin picturing a pro wrestler screaming profanities at me in an attempt to use reverse psychology to get me to do something.

Y/N, stop being such a wuss. You’re not weak. 

Fuck it.

For the umpteenth time, I open my door and march down the hall. With one last deep breath, I gently knock on the door three times. The sound of the guitar suddenly stops and I wait.  

And wait.

And wait.

What the fuck?

There’s a small voice, almost like someone is saying, “Hello?”

Did he just say, “hello?” to someone possibly knocking on his door? Jaemin, do you expect people to shout through the door? Can’t you just get up and open it?

I cross my arms and frown when I hear the guitar starting up again.

Dude, what the hell? I know you heard me knocking!

Suddenly, the nervousness that so desperately wanted to initiate my flight response has been replaced with annoyance. Perhaps the annoyance is still out of nervousness, but I digress. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy and I had to work up a lot of courage to do it. However, I did not expect to have this obstacle – which is really more of a logistical obstacle than a practical one.

I knock again.  

After another moment, someone begins fumbling around inside and the door is cracked open, revealing a confused Jaemin.  

Finally.

“Uh, hi,” he says.

I forgo the greeting and look at him blankly.

“Did you knock twice?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“I said ‘hello’ like three times.”

What the hell? Who does that?

“Oh, well I didn’t hear you,” I say. 

I ball my hand into a fist, pressing my nails into the flesh to help distract me from my nervousness. “Are you alone?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah…” he responds slowly.

I press my lips together. “I need to ask you something.”

“Okay…” he says, waiting expectantly.

“Can I come in for a second?”

“Sure.”

He pulls open the door and I step inside, reaching behind my back with an arm to grab the doorknob and step backwards to use my entire body to push the door closed.

Their room is a mess. A dirty knife balanced on top of an open peanut butter jar, clothes strewn over the bed posts, unmade beds – it’s definitely a boys’ room.

“Um…” I shift my gaze to the floor, knowing he’s watching me, anticipating what I’m going to say – likely something about me confessing my love for him.  

I sigh and swallow my fear.

“So…” I begin, “Have we just been dancing around in circles or… do you actually want to dance with me?”

He looks blankly at me. “What…?”

Jesus.

“Uh – I – I –”

God, I have to clarify?!

I try to rephrase the question without directly mentioning what I’m really trying to ask. Ha. I guess I’m the one dancing around now.

“Have we just been dancing around the issue or…?”

“Um… what are you asking exactly?” he asks, his forehead creasing.

Shit. Do I have to straight up ask you if you like me? I don’t wanna do that. How do you not understand my question?  

“Do you not understand my question?” I ask.  

That was a stupid question.

“No, like… dancing…? What do you mean?” he asks.

“It’s metaphorical,” I remark.  

Seriously, Y/N? “It’s metaphorical?” That’s what you tell him?

“For what?”

For what? What do you mean “for what?” Jaemin, I know you’re not this stupid. You might be slow, but you’re not stupid.

I sigh again. “Um… I don’t know what’s been going on for the past –”

“Oh!” His eyes widen as if he’s suddenly come to the realization of what I’ve been trying to ask. “I thought we were just friends at that point…” he says slowly. “I’m just a friendly person…”

The fuck?

“Oh.” My mouth is agape, trying to process what he just said. “Okay…”

“Yeah, I’m just a friendly guy. So feel free to be friendly…” he says, making nervous hand gestures to the air.  

I feel like I was just hit with a brick. You were just being “friendly,” huh? You really might want to rethink what the definition of “friendly” is.

“Okay, I just needed to know,” I say, my tone level due to shock and inability to comprehend the present scene.

“Okay, yeah, that’s cool.” He presses his lips together and nods to himself a few times. “So I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, sorry,” I say as I grab the door handle and smile with a slightly embarrassed look on my face.

“It’s okay.”

My back slams against my door with a loud thud and my heart is still pounding from the residual adrenaline. I run my hands over my face and let out a loud sigh.  

“I can’t believe I just did that.”

My mind begins replaying the scene over and over again – Jaemin’s facial expressions, his weird hand gestures to defend his stance, his relative calmness despite my clear interrogation. The word “friendly” plays like a broken record.

Friendly? No one does that when they’re just being “friendly.” Jaemin, do I have to throw a dictionary at your head? Friendly means affable... cordial… genial… NICE. Friendly does not mean flirting. Friendly does not mean making sexual innuendos and holding a girl from behind to help her shoot pool. Actually, you work in C++, don’t you, Jaemin? I can put it in code for you!

Friendly == being nice, giving me a stamp to mail a letter that one time because I didn’t have one

Friendly != flirting, thigh touching, anything Jaemin does

There! No, that is obviously not how you write code – because I don’t know how to write code – but I know the equality operators so you should too!

There are a couple things that I am fairly confident of now. First, Jaemin now realizes that I thought that he liked me. And second, even though I didn’t explicitly say anything, he knows I like him. So there goes my dignity.

But both of those things should have been known by him months ago – given his character. He’s smart, quick-witted, and very observant. Or at least, he’s supposed to be – though I’m guessing he was just playing stupid. There’s no way he didn’t know he was flirting.

I send a 911 text to Mark and within five minutes, he’s calling me.

“He said what?!” Mark exclaims.

“He said, ‘I thought we were just friends at that point… I was just being friendly because I’m a friendly guy… So feel free to be friendly.’ And then he did this weird thing with his hands, like pushing them out like he was presenting something.”

“Yo! Why does he sound so defensive? He keeps repeating himself. ‘I was just being friendly.’ ‘I’m a friendly guy.’”

“That didn’t even occur to me. But you’re right. He used that word like four times within twenty seconds.”

“I knew this guy was trash! But he’s totally lying to you.”

The answer doesn’t make any logical sense. It explains absolutely nothing. It can’t explain any of the behavior – staring, offering physics help, asking me for physics help when I’m the one who needs it, teaching me how to play pool, Jeno’s teasing when I was around...

“Because if it were me,” Mark continues, “and I didn’t actually like you, I wouldn’t say it like that. I’d probably say something like, ‘I’m so sorry if my actions came off that way, but I don’t like you like that.’”

Mark makes a good point and it irks me more than I realized. I didn’t get a straightforward “no.” Obviously I can infer what “just being friendly” means. It means “no.”  But why can’t you just say that? If I had received a straight “no,” it still wouldn’t have made any sense and I’d still agree with Mark and think Jaemin was lying. But at least it wouldn’t be an even more confusing excuse.

“But I also wouldn’t be trying to touch you and make dirty jokes either… ‘cause that’d be weird if I didn’t like you.”

I chuckle. “Thank you, Mark. I know I can always count on you to provide some logic.”

“Anytime.”

“I think you’re right though… I don’t believe him either. His answer doesn’t line up with his actions.”

“I’m sorry that happened, Y/N. Are you okay though?”

It’s funny. I was so busy trying to do a bunch of mental gymnastics to figure out the Jaemin puzzle that I hadn’t even thought about my own feelings.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Technically, I got rejected, but I’m not devastated or anything. I guess I’m just irritated and confused. It’s like when you’re doing a jigsaw puzzle and you have one more piece, but you happened to get one of the defective puzzles so the last piece doesn’t fit.”

“Yeah… I just wanted to check. I know you’re not that outwardly emotional, but I know that doesn’t mean you don’t experience them. But still, I’d be mad if I were you.”

“Well, if there was any possibility of Jaemin and me remaining friends during the rest of college, I think I just threw that out the window,” I say with a nervous laugh.

“He doesn’t deserve your friendship anyway,” Mark responds bitterly. “Didn’t you say that Jeno defended you or something?”

“Um, I could only assume he was.”

“Do you think that Jeno might like you?”

Jeno’s voice rings through my ears. From the time he sounded like he confronted Jaemin to that warning when I was writing a letter in the next room.

“Are you just leading her on? She’s a nice girl, Jaemin.”

“You know that she’s right over there, right?”

“It – it crossed my mind, but I didn’t really consider it too seriously.”

“Why else would he bother defending you if he didn’t?”

“Because he disagrees with his roommate’s sense of morality?” I ask half-sarcastically.

“Ha!” Mark begins laughing. “You really think he thinks about that?”

“Hey! I think about that kind of stuff!”

“Yeah, but most people aren’t you, Y/N! And you still chose to hang out with the guy even though you knew he had a girlfriend.”

I put my hands up in defense even though Mark can’t see me. “In my defense, I was not the one doing anything.”

“My point is, it’s an iffy line. But anyway, that would also explain the staring. Maybe he likes you, but he knows you and Jaemin like each other, so he’s not going to do anything. But if he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have said any that stuff anyway.”

Jeno’s purpose for staring at me was still a mystery. My instinct was telling me that Mark might be right, but I’ll never find out.

Well, I suppose I could ask Jeno, but I’m not about to put myself through that again.

It’s times like these where I wish I could read minds. I want to know what both of them have been thinking. But I know one thing for sure: Jaemin won’t be forgetting me any time soon.  

I just hope I don’t get written off as a psychopath like Jisu. While I didn’t sit outside his room to wait to talk to him, what I did wasn’t exactly any better. Granted, I’m not his ex.

“Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I misread his –”

“No, no, I’m cutting you off right there,” Mark interjects. “There’s no way you misread any of that. And didn’t he like you before you had any real interest in him? You only started to like him because of what he was doing.”

“Hm, you’re right. I didn’t have any feelings at the beginning. Nothing to cloud my mind.”

“Trust yourself, Y/N. I know your intuition is top notch.”

For the next few days, I was wracking my brain, going over the problem many times from many different perspectives to see if any of them could make a logical and coherent story. Unfortunately, they didn’t. I hadn’t run into Jaemin since my little confrontation, but I also hadn’t been spending as much time downstairs studying, choosing to stay in my room at night.

Jaemin was actively avoiding me. I’d seen him on the edge of campus a couple times and each time, he’d realize I was there and walk to the next block to cross the street instead. My best guess is that he’s embarrassed, which is understandable. There’s no doubt that any future interaction with him is going to be awkward. I certainly feel awkward at the prospect of even having to say hi to him, but surprisingly, my dignity is pretty intact.

As soon as Jaemin gave me his answer, I just dropped him. I stopped trying to listen in on his conversations. I stopped trying to be in places where he would conveniently see me. I just stopped because there was no reason to put in anymore effort. He gave me his answer and even though it didn’t make any sense, that was that. There was nothing else left to do. It was done.

After a week of evading every possible chance to run into me, Jaemin started waving to greet me again. He wouldn’t come up to talk to me, but he wasn’t going out of his way to avoid me either.

Finals were approaching and I returned to my normal spot in the dining room. And just when I thought I could live my life peacefully with the bare minimum for interacting, Jaemin decides to throw in another wrench.  

Jaemin is talking to one of the other residents when I walk into the kitchen to get some water. He looks at me and waves. I offer him a polite nod in return.  

“Did you watch?”

I jump in surprise upon realizing Jaemin is talking to me.

Watch? Watch what? Oh… He’s talking about The Flash.

“Oh. No, I haven’t.”

“You find out his secret identity.”

“Oh! Who is it?”

“I’m not going to tell you!”

“Fine, I’ll just go online and read about it.”

“What the…?” he says in disbelief.  

“I gotta study for chemistry! Barry can wait!”

He exchanges a few more words with the other resident and then walks over to me. “You have to watch the episode. It’s the best one of the season!”

Oh so we’re cool now? And you’re just going to act like nothing happened?

“I’ll see about checking it out later. I gotta finish up some things first.”

He nods in agreement and before stepping out of the room he says, “Yeah, me too. But let me know when you watch it. I wanna know what you think!”

There’s a weird expression on my face as I watch him leave. I knew we weren’t going to be friends and honestly, if he decided never to talk to me ever again, I probably wouldn’t have cared. Leaving it at a polite wave would’ve been fine! In fact, saying nothing is much easier! And now he wants to act like nothing happened and essentially gave me an invitation to start up another conversation with him. Jaemin! Make up your mind!

I stand alone in my room; it’s bare, with the exception of the provided furnishings. Jia had moved out a day earlier after finishing her finals. A nostalgic sigh falls from my lips as I reflect on the year. Despite it not having the ending I wanted, it was good. I had started to feel a little more comfortable being away from home, classes were better, I made more friends, and to top it all off, I was a lot more confident than I thought.

After checking for any last items, I slowly close my door for the final time of my sophomore year. A small smile creeps onto my face as I walk down the hall, still grateful for the experiences I had in this house. At the very least, Jaemin’s story will be a good one for the books.

Right as I walk by Jaemin’s room, the door flies open and Jaemin is standing there in the doorway. I casually greet him and continue on my way to my car. He returns my greeting and I hear him shut his door and start to follow me down the stairs.

You’ve got to be kidding me.  

I look up at the ceiling and roll my eyes.

Whoever you are up there, what are you doing? What kind of fucking timing is this?

In an effort to break the very likely awkward silence as we walk down the stairs, I decide to say something of no consequence. 

“You have a final?” I ask over my shoulder.

“Yeah,” he responds. “Are you finished with finals?” 

“Yeah, I’m actually moving out right now.”

“Oh, are you going home?”

“No, I’m going home on Sunday.”

“Oh, so where are you moving to?”

And you care… why?

“Uh…” I hesitate. “Do you mean next year?”

“No, where are you moving into now?”

“Oh! I’m going to a relative’s house right now.”

“Oh okay.” He turns to head in the other direction, but looks over his shoulder and offers a small smile. “I’ll see you later.”  

Seriously? I wasn’t going to say anything to you before leaving and just my luck, we walk out together.  

I had waited and planned in order to get my defined ending so that I could finally stop. Except it wasn’t defined. It was the exact opposite and I didn’t really believe him. And as I watch him walk towards campus, I realize how bittersweet the ending actually is.  

Jaemin was my last goodbye of my sophomore year.

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Before I Met You Masterlist Masterlist

#jung jaehyun #mark lee #na jaemin #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #wayv #superm #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct mark #nct lucas #lucas wong #wong yukhei #nct jaemin #before i met you

[sunmoonandeddie]

little ballerina (14/16)

pairing: peter parker x reader

word count: 6,543

summary: After The Snap was reversed and the world went back to normal, Natasha Romanov had one request of her team: to infiltrate and destroy the Red Room.

chapter warnings: Swearing, violence, sexual assault, attempted rape

masterlist

a/n: I just want to warn you all, there is an attempted sexual assault/rape towards the end of this chapter. I'm adjusting the tags because of it but I want to make sure those of you who keep up with this are warned. This one is super long, which is why it took me forever to upload. Let me know what you think. I think there's only going to be one more chapter after this, plus an epilogue.

The nightmares were getting worse.

It had been almost two months since you had started pushing Peter out of your life  You were barely sleeping and it was starting to show.  Despite the fact that you had gone back to your normal routine (minus your nightly phone calls with Peter or spending weekends with him), you were starting to fall behind.  Bucky was beginning to win during your sparring sessions.  Natasha, Wanda, and Pepper were hinting that you shouldn't drink so much wine during your girl nights.  F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s daily health reports were starting to report that your seratonin levels were low.  Brenda had even pulled Natasha and Tony aside when she saw them after your therapy sessions, whispering that you were backsliding and it was making her nervous.

But you refused to budge.

When Peter came home on the weekends, you would either lock yourself in your room or you would volunteer for whatever missions would keep you away from home until he went back to MIT.

Tony was avoiding you at all costs, and anytime he had to be in a room with you for longer than thirty seconds, he would end up sending you dirty looks and muttering under his breath.  The others had tried to get him to lay off, but it was no use.  It wasn't like you blamed him anyway.  You knew that what you were doing was hurting Peter.  You just hoped that it would get easier on him as time went on before he eventually forgot about you, just like you figured it would for you.

But it never did.

The pain never went away like you hoped.  Instead, it only seemed to get worse.  Your nightmares morphed until all of them revolved around the brunette boy.  You killing him.  Him killing you.  It was all the same, just different versions.  They all ended with you waking up screaming in the middle of the night.

About three weeks into your self-imposed exile, you were awoken by Natasha shaking you.  "Y/N?!  Y/N, wake up!"

You bolted up in bed, your chest heaving as you looked around wildly for Peter.  Your heart sunk as you realized he wasn't in your room.  You gripped your hair in your hands as Natasha rubbed your back soothingly.  The clock read 4:21 AM.

"It's okay.  I'm here," she said.

You sniffled as you shook your head.  "Th-They had him.  They had him and they k-killed him and there was no-nothing I could do."

Natasha's heart was breaking as she watched you break down into violent sobs.  This was the kind of pain that couldn't be fixed unless you could get over your self-loathing and doubt.  All she could do was try her best to help you work through it, so that's what she did.  Pulling you into her chest, her fingers ran through your hair.  "I've got you.  I've got you."  You were crying so hard that it shook your entire body, your hands clutching onto her t-shirt.  The fabric where your head was resting was soaked with your tears.  She fought back her own tears as she rocked you back and forth, humming an old Russian lullaby.

Even after you fell asleep, she continued to hold you while thinking of possible solutions.  She knew that she couldn't take away the pain or fix the problem with Peter, but she could at least try to help you get the sleep you so desperately needed.

The night after, you let Wanda use her magic to help you fall asleep.  It wasn't a deep sleep, but it got the job done.  You still suffered from nightmares, but at least your body was getting what it needed to heal and regenerate.

But a month after Wanda began to help you, you were sent on a mission.

You were sent on a mission with Peter.

You weren't even supposed to be on the mission in the first place, but two days before, the team got a kink in their plans.  You were sitting on the couch and working on your online high school homework, when Tony, Natasha, Steve, and Sam walked in.  They moved to the kitchen, Tony grabbing food from the fridge as they continued their conversation, not even noticing your presence.

"—can't send Natasha."

Steve looked confused as he sat down at the island.  He had clearly just gotten back from the gym, if the sheen of sweat on his brow was anything to go by.  "Why not?"

Nat looked pissed off as she crossed her arms over her chest.  "Because he knows me.  I led a raid on his estate four years ago.  We didn't find anything, he got off scot-free, and he knows my face."  She huffed as she sat up on the counter.  "Plus, he prefers h/c."

"Why can't we just go in guns blazing like we usually do?" Sam asked, watching as Tony threw in a bunch of vegetables into a blender.  "It's always worked for us before."

"Because," Tony said, grabbing the soy milk from the fridge and pouring in a sizable amount into the blender, "it didn't work last time and he's going to be on the look out for that now.  He's going to pack up and hide everything at the first sign that we're going to raid him."

Sam waved his hand towards Nat.  "And you can't seduce him because he knows you?"

"Exactly."

Steve frowned as he sat there, the others going quiet.  "So what are we going to do?  We can't send in Nat or Wanda."

You cleared your throat, four heads turning to look at where you sat on the couch.  They looked surprised to see you there, as though they hadn't expected you to be out of your room.  "What if you sent me?"

Natasha shook her head as she began to walk over.  "No, we can't send you in there.  You're not a field agent."

Bucky walked out of the elevator at that moment, looking at the redhead in confusion.  "What do you mean, she isn't a field agent?"  He was ruffling his hair with a towel, smelling of pine and musk, whatever that was.

"She's never been trained to be a field agent," Tony replied, abandoning the blender as he walked to join Natasha.  Steve and Sam, not wanting to be left out of the conversation, quickly followed after.

The long-haired man looked at him incredulously.  "Did you just say..."  He bit his lip, taking a moment before motioning to you.  "She received the same training Natasha did, even if it wasn't Avengers-style.  Hell, Nat never got that training and she's a field agent.  Why isn't Y/N qualified?"

Steve, Natasha, and Sam all seemed to agree with Bucky, keeping quiet as they watched Tony.  There was a little bit of tension as the men faced each other.  Even though all had been forgiven after the Infinity War, the two weren't as close as the others.  It was to be expected, of course, but it still led to a little bit of worry in moments like this.

"She works tech on the plane.  That's it."  Tony's brown eyes were narrowed, his jaw clenched.

Bucky shook his head as you stood up.  "Y/N only works tech because we didn't want to force her into any danger she didn't want to be in.  But she's offering to be a field agent.  She's ready."  He scrutinized the other man, seeming to be much calmer than the billionaire.  "Don't let your current personal grudge against her hold the team back.  She'd be a great asset.  You know this."

That seemed to hit Tony hard as he looked up towards the ceiling.  As he pinched the bridge between his nose, he let out a long sigh.  "We don't even know if she can seduce him."

Natasha chose this moment to speak up, chiming in, "The Red Room trains you in seduction, in case you've forgotten.  She's got this."  She looked to you, raising her eyebrows questioningly.  "Do you?"  You knew that she was just double checking, not wanting to throw you into something you weren't ready for.

You nodded, your hands a little shaky.  "I do.  I can handle it."  You turned to look at Tony as your teeth worried your bottom lip.  "I promise you, I won't fuck this up."  There was a double meaning there and he knew it.  You might've fucked things up with Peter, but you weren't going to let your team down no matter what.

He nodded at you once before walking back to the blender and turning it on.  The sound drowned out any chance of further conversation and the others kind of nodded at each other before separating.

You went back to your homework, putting in your headphones with a bit of a smile.  If there was one thing you were really good at, it was missions.  You got the job done perfectly and efficiently, just like the Red Room had trained you to do.  Part of you wondered what Madame B would think if she knew that you were using your training to help the good guys now.  She'd probably have a heart attack.

You looked down as your phone dinged, a text lighting up the screen.

Natasha: We're leaving Saturday at noon.  I'll come by around eight to help you get ready.

You ignored the texts from Peter, locking your phone once again.  He still sent a text every few days.  It was usually an update on his classes or a funny story about Ned.  You usually waited until you were in bed to read them.  That way, you could cry without anyone knowing.

Friday, you watched as Happy's car pulled in right at five, and Peter stepped out of the car.  You did this every week so you would know when to lock yourself in for the weekend.  It was kinda pitiful, but it was the best you could do at the moment.  It hurt your heart to see how sad he looked, though.  His shoulders were drooped, his head hanging low as he grabbed his suitcase.  His headphones were tucked in.  He didn't even say goodbye to Happy as he began to walk towards the front entrance.

Your heart skipped a beat as he looked up towards the compound and his eyes met yours.  You quickly jumped onto your bed, away from where he could see you.  You were sure that your ribs were going to break with how hard your heart was beating as you said, "F.R.I.D.A.Y., close the windows."

"Are you sure?  Your seratonin levels are low and the sunlight will help," her animated voice asked.

Rolling your eyes, you snapped, "Yes, I'm sure."  You relaxed a little, falling back on your bed as darkness overtook your room.

Except for those damn stars.  No matter how many times you had tried, you couldn't bring yourself to take them off the ceiling.  It was the one thing of Peter that you allowed yourself to keep.  You had given back all his clothes months ago, leaving them in his room when he was at school and couldn't catch you.  You had deleted the photos of him from your phone.  You had almost blocked his number, but knew that if you were in trouble and couldn't reach the rest of the Avengers, it could come in handy.

At least, that's what you told yourself.

Wanda came in to do her magic at about ten that night, holding two plates of food.  She usually ate with you in your room when Peter was home.  Otherwise, you wouldn't eat.  Sometimes it would be Natasha or Bucky, but someone always came.  She sat on your bed and watched as you pushed the food around your plate.  "You should talk to him," the older girl finally said.  She took a bite of her khao soi before pointing her fork at you.  "This whole isolation thing is ridiculous, and you know it."

Rolling your eyes, you stared down at your pad thai.  "Wanda, we've gone over this."

"And every time, I've told you that it's bullshit.  Just like everyone else on the team does."

You tried to find something to say, your e/c eyes meeting hers.  "I can't be the reason Peter gets hurt."

"That's how I felt with Vis for the longest time.  You just have to trust yourself."

There it was.  The whole trust thing.  "I don't know if I can."  Your voice cracked and you squeezed your eyes shut to stop yourself fro crying.  You seemed to do that a lot.

Wanda didn't know how to respond, so she just reached over and squeezed your hand tightly.  It was an unspoken agreement that no matter what happened, you two would be there for each other.

Even after you had thrown a snow globe at her head.

Saturday morning went quick.  Natasha knocked at exactly eight, passing you the protein shake in her hand.  "This'll keep you full until after the mission.  It's what I drink when we don't know how long it'll take and there's no promise of food."

You took a sip, your nose crinkling in disgust.  "Why is it so gross?"

"Because it's got all the nutrients you could ever need and then some and sometimes being healthy sucks."

She had then shoved you into the shower, ordering a Full Shower.  That meant washing your hair, exfoliating, shaving, the whole nine yards.  You had to be at your peak tonight.  When you got out, Nat had unpacked the makeup case she had, everything laid out on the bed.  She didn't talk much as she blow dried your hair, letting you just sit at the vanity in your robe.

But once she got started on actually doing your hair and makeup, she didn't stop talking.  "Your target's name is Dr. Harry Garner.  He's thirty-seven and from Manchester, England."  Natasha tapped the curling iron, sectioning your hair off when she realized it was hot enough.  "He went to Oxford, because that's where all the pretentious men who turn into evil villains go."

You couldn't help but laugh a little at that, biting your lip.  "What exactly is he doing that we're trying to bust him for?"

"He's building weapons of mass destruction," she said nonchalantly as she began to curl your hair.  "He's using a combination of nuclear and chitauri power."  Seeing your shocked expression, she nodded.  "If he continues to make these weapons and then uses them...  It won't be pretty."

"So this mission is very important?"  Your voice was quiet, your gaze locked on hers in the mirror.

Natasha nodded.  Her expression alone told you how serious the situation was.  "We knew that there was someone building those weapons and the location.  We just didn't know who it was until two days ago.  That's when we realized that for one, we couldn't rush the place like we usually do and two, that I couldn't be seen.  If I'm seen anywhere near his new estate, it'll be over."

You swallowed thickly as she went quiet, spending another hour curling your hair.  By the time she was done, you had large, fifties style curls.  Natasha started talking again as she started on your makeup.  You kept your eyes closed, listening to the little comments she would make.  It was relaxing, and you almost felt like a normal girl.  Like you were just getting ready to go to prom.

But this was far from prom.

If this mission went wrong, you could put the entire world in danger and it wasn't even an exaggeration.

"And you... are done," Natasha said as she spritzed some setting spray on your face.  "You can get dressed on the plane, when we get closer to the estate.  I would just throw on something comfy for now.  We have a long flight."

You opened your eyes, and you were surprised at how good it made you look.  It was simple, but sexy.  She had coated your brows with a gel to keep the natural look, while keeping them in place.  The winged liner and false lashes made your e/c eyes look huge and doe-like.  The red lips topped off the look and gave it a very classy feel.  "Were you trying to make me look like a 1950s starlet?" You murmured as you gently touched your cheek.  Your skin looked flawless.  "Because I think you succeeded."

Nat smiled as she picked up the makeup case she had just repacked.  "Harry likes old Hollywood movies, like Gone With the Wind and Rebel Without a Cause.  I tried to channel that a little.  Maybe try to bring it up?"

You nodded and she left with a final look at you.  You had watched both of those movies in the time since getting out of the Red Room, since Bucky and Steve also had to catch up with the times.  They just happened to have a little more to catch up on.

When you got to the hangar to meet the others at 11:50, you were shocked to see Peter standing there with the rest of the Avengers.  Even though you were going to be the only one on the ground, it was an important mission.  If something went wrong, they were all going to be ready to swoop in.  So it made sense that he was there.  You just didn't like it.

You were acutely aware of how his gaze bore into the back of your head as you boarded the quinjet.  Putting in your headphones, you went straight to the bunk room and climbed into the first one that you saw.  You shut the divider to make sure that no one would disturb you before pulling out your laptop.  There was no way you were going to be able to survive the seven hour flight if you had to deal with Peter staring at you the entire time.

So you spent the next six hours working on school work.  By the time you were done, you were over two weeks ahead of the class schedule, and you had successfully avoided talking to Peter.

But the knock on the divider pulled you out of your concentration.  You pulled it open a little, and saw Nat smiling down at you.  "Ready to get dressed?"  She handed you a black bag and you headed back to the bathroom to get dressed.

When you unzipped it, you stared at the dress for a full two minutes in shock.  The dress was beautiful, of course, but it was completely skin tight.  Nothing would be left to the imagination.  Shaking yourself out of your stupor, you stripped down until you just had on the thong that Natasha had advised you to wear, now knowing why.  You pulled the black fabric over your thighs, and as you slipped your arms into the off-the-shoulder straps, you realized that you were going to need someone to zip you up.

You shoved the clothing you had worn on the plane into the black bag, grabbing the heels from the bottom compartment before leaving the bathroom.  "Hey, can someone zip me?"  You asked as you entered the communal area of the jet, looking down at yourself.  You looked up as Wanda moved around you, pulling up the zipper for you.  Your eyes met Peter's, who was staring at you with an intensity that you couldn't describe, and you quickly turned away.

You sat down on the couch to pull on your shoes, Tony walking over to you with a case in his hand.  He opened it up, first pulling out an ear piece.  You tilted your head to the side to let him put it in, listening as he explained.  "We can talk to you through this, but the necklace is what you'll be talking to us through."  He carefully lifted a diamond necklace out of the case, moving your hair to put it on you.  The huge diamonds glittered as it rested against your collarbones.  "The microphone is hidden in the setting of this diamond," he said as he tapped the center of the necklace.  "If you're in trouble, say...  I don't know..."  Tony looked to the others, motioning widely with his arms as he thought.  "What's a phrase in Russian?"

"Malen'kaya balerina."

You looked over at Natasha, who was smiling warmly at you.  You nodded as you turned back to Tony.  "Malen'kaya balerina."

He raised his eyebrows, looking at the others.  "Alright.  Mall-in-kayak whatever it is.  If Y/N says that phrase, we go in.  No questions asked."  He then tapped another diamond in the necklace.  "There's a camera hidden in this one here.  We'll be able to see what you see and guide you through the house."  he stepped back, clapping his hands together.  "She's ready."

You pointedly ignored Peter's eyes as Steve stood up.  "We've five minutes out.  Everyone get ready."

God, just being in the same room as Peter was torture.  Even if you couldn't talk to him, you just wanted to look.  You wanted to watch the way his eyes lit up and his lips pulled into a crooked smile.  You wanted watch him run his fingers through his brown curls and the way his leg would bounce in nervous energy.

No.  You couldn't think about that now.  You couldn't let yourself be distracted from the mission.

Walking to the back with Natasha and Bucky, you fought the anxiety that was threatening to overcome you.  It was a weird kind of anxiety, though.  You weren't nervous about Dr. Harry Garner.  You could seduce any man you wanted to in your sleep.  You were nervous about letting down the team.  "Is it normal to be nervous?" You asked as you looked up at your two parent figures.

"I think I'd be more worried if you weren't," Bucky said with a faint smile.

Nat stood on your other side, flicking a piece of hair back into place.  "Just remember, we've got your back."

You took in a deep breath as you nodded, before getting into the car that was meant to drive you the remaining thirty minutes to the Garner estate.  Vision was your driver, having morphed himself into a random person.  If anyone saw him, they wouldn't recognize him as one of the Avengers.

When the back of the quinjet finally opened, Vision put the car into drive and you were off.  "I'm sure you'll be fantastic," he said as he noticed the way your hands were fidgeting in your lap.  Other than those few words, the two of you didn't speak the entire way back.  "I'll be the one who picks you up at the end of the night," Vis added as you got out.  He nodded at you once before driving off, presumably to wait a safe distance away.

The estate was fucking huge.  You began to go through the breathing technique Peter had taught you, calming yourself down as you walked up the steps to the front door.  It was clearly inspired by Greek architecture, with the huge pillars on either side of the front doors.  You didn't even know if you could call it a front door.  They were huge and had butlers to open the double doors on both sides.

"And we are a go," you heard Tony say in your ear as you walked into the mansion, giving a curt nod to the butlers.

You felt a multitude of eyes on you as you entered the crowded room.  It was filled to the brim with rich snobs.  "Anyone wanna tell me why I didn't get a fur shawl like every other woman here?" You whispered so only the microphone in the necklace caught it.  The slit in your dress went up to a little above your mid-thigh, teasing everyone looking at you with just a glimpse of leg.

"Thought it would cover too much skin," Nat said honestly.

Bucky was the next one to chime in, "Plus it seems a little tacky."

You had to agree with that.  Though some of the fur shawls looked classy and sophisticated, most of them looked like they were trying to hard.  After all, you were in Costa Rica.  Not Siberia.  Then, it might've looked better.

As Natasha directed you through the house, you were grateful that only Nat, Tony, Steve, Bucky, and Sam were on the comm.  You knew that they could all hear you, since the comm was hooked up to speakers in the communal area of the quinjet during missions, but having everyone be able to talk to you would've been too much.

Listening to Natasha's directions, you headed towards the back of the house, where you found double doors that led out to the gardens where most of the guests had congregated.  Two more butlers opened up the doors for you, and you were met with the sound of ocean waves.  You hadn't realized how close the estate was to the coast, but there was only a short wall the divided the gardens from the water.  As you walked through the garden, you snagged a glass of champagne from a waiter and took a long sip.

"Y/N, go to the edge of the gardens right ahead.  The man a few feet to your left is Dr. Garner," Steve said.

Stepping forward, you tucked a bit of hair behind your left ear as you watched Dr. Garner from your peripheral vision.  He was deep in conversation with two men, but paused as he glanced your way.  You felt a little burst of triumph as he turned back to them before taking a double take.  "Excuse me," he said to the couple, before moving the couple steps towards you.  "What's a gorgeous creature like you doing out here all alone?"

"Bingo," Sam muttered in your ear.

You smiled coyly at him, turning a little to look at him.  "I'm not alone.  I have you, don't I?"

You knew you had his interest as he waved a waiter over, grabbing a glass of champagne for himself.  "You most certainly do."

Turning to face him completely, you could see why he was getting away with as much as he did.  He was actually very handsome, with stormy blue eyes and a full head of dark hair.  Plus, the accent.  The British accent was an absolute killer.  "I'm Y/N.  Y/N Moore," you purred as he took your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

If he wasn't creating weapons of mass destruction and threatening the safety of literally the entire world, you might actually be interested.  Even if he was twice your age.

"So why haven't I met you before?" The man in front of you asked, swirling the champagne in his glass.  "Because I definitely would've remembered you."

Tony had created an entire fake identity for you to use.  He let you keep your first name, but the last name was something he had pulled out of his ass.  You had studied it for the past two days, until you had it completely memorized.  Like it was actually your life.  "Well, I'm the personal assistant for Alan Warren, with Warren Tech.  He sent me in his place, since he had an emergency come up.  He sends his regards and asked me to apologize for him, Dr. Garner," you said.  Tony had also set up a website for a fake company, complete with numbers that Dr. Garner could call and an employee directory with your name on it in case he wanted to see if you were who you said you were.

"Please, call me Harry."

You smiled warmly, leaning in a little as though you were entranced by him.  "Harry.  I love that name.  Reminds me of Harry Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life.  Or Harry Powell from The Night of the Hunter."

Garner looked at you in shock, delight lighting up his eyes.  "You know The Night of the Hunter?"

Nodding, you finished off your champagne.  "With Robert Mitchim and Shelley Winters?  Of course."

"Nice," Bucky chuckled.

"I have to admit," Harry said as he took your empty glass of champagne and handed it to a waiter before grabbing you a new one, "I didn't expect you to know old Hollywood movies.  Especially old Hollywood thrillers."

"Well, what kind of girl do you take me for?" You asked, holding the new glass of champagne up to your lips flirtatiously.  You were watching him through your eyelashes, giving a sense of innocence.  You could tell that he was the kind of man who would be into that.  "Besides," you hummed as you took a step closer to him.  "There's something sexy about the old Hollywood movies."

His eyes were practically undressing you as he watched you step closer.  "Even the thrillers?"

"Especially the thrillers."  You were close enough to him that you knew he would be hyper aware of it, and he'd want to close the gap completely.  But you needed to put the nail on the coffin.  "I think what makes them so sexy is the danger of it all.  I mean...  What girl can resist a bad boy?"

Harry's eyes were locked on yours.  "How would you like a tour of the house?"

"Sounds wonderful."

His hand found your lower back as he led you back into the house, and up the grand staircase that you had seen in the front foyer.

"So, tell me what you do," you said, glancing around innocently.  You knew he was leading you straight for the master suite, but you wanted to keep up that facade of innocence.  He was old school.  He would like to think that you were flirting with him because he was special, or something like that.

There were two butlers at every door in the hallway, and you realized that they doubled as security once you spotted the earpieces and they way that they watched you.

The ones at the last room at the end of the hall opened up a set of ornate double doors, and you had to keep your eyes from getting as wide as saucers as you took in the huge room.  It was fit for a king.  Truly.  You glanced back as the doors shut behind you, and you were alone with Dr. Harry Garner.  He took your champagne and set it, along with his, off to the side.  "I'm an arms dealer."

"So you really are a bad boy," you giggled as you walked around the room slowly, taking it all you.  You found yourself at the entrance to the balcony, the doors already opened.

His breath was hot on your neck as he whispered, "I'll be whatever you wanna be, princess."  Wrapping his arms around you, he began to press hot, open mouthed kisses to your bare shoulder.  "Alan Warren might want to watch out.  I might just steal you away from him."

"Is that so?"  You turned around in his embrace so you were facing him.  His eyes were locked on the way you bit your lip, your hands resting on his chest.  "I don't know if my boss would be very happy about you taking me from him."

You had to fight back from slapping him as his hands moved to your ass, squeezing tightly before one hand moved to the slit in your dress.  His calloused fingers ran over your thigh as he pulled your leg up so had to lean into him.  "If you were my personal assistant...  Well, let's just say I wouldn't be getting much work done."

"What a fucking pig," you heard Natasha mutter into the comm.

Unfortunately, so did Garner.

His eyes narrowed down at you, his grip tightening to the point that it hurt.  "So...  Who sent you?"

"What do you mean?" You asked, shaking your head.  But you knew it would be no use.  He wasn't an idiot and no matter how attractive he thought you were, he wasn't going to risk going to jail.

He'd kill you before that.

His nails were digging into your thigh as the hand that was on your ass moved to grip your face harshly.  His nails dug into your cheek, and you whimpered as you felt him break the skin, blood trickling down your cheek.  "Did I stutter?"  You yelped as his hand moved to grab your hair, tilting your head to the side so he could find the ear piece.  He grabbed it from where it sat right behind the tragus.  Looking you dead in the eye, he crushed it in between his fingers.  Like it was a fly.  Harry then eyed your necklace suspiciously, ripping it off your neck like it was nothing.

You watched helplessly as he walked over to the balcony and tossed it over into the ocean below.

You were alone with no way to contact the team.

Your heart was racing as the man shut the doors to the balcony before turning back to you, suddenly aware of the fact that he was Very Tall and Very Buff.  Even with your training, it would be a struggle to win a fight against him, and the butlers outside.

He was stalking towards you with a predatory look in his eyes.  He knew he had the upper hand.  "Tell me, Y/N...  Why did you have to do this?  We could've been so good together..."  He seemed to be amused by the panic in your eyes as you backed away from him.  Everything you had ever learned about self-defense flew out of your brain, leaving you terrified and helpless.

Back at the quinjet, a panic was running through the team as the signal from your comm suddenly went out.  "She's gone," Steve shouted, clicking at buttons frantically.

"Y/N?!  Y/N, can you hear me?!"  Natasha asked desperately, her hands gripping the edge of the table that held the computer system.  The video feed had gone black, and the audio had gone to static.  The ping they had on your location was also gone.

Peter ran into the computer room from the communal area, clearly panicking.  "What happened?!  Where is she?!"

Tony shook his head as he tried frantically to get a signal.  "Her comm disconnected.  We have no way to reach her and she can't reach us."

"We, We need to go in there!  We need to save her!"

The billionaire shook his head at the younger man, who was already hitting the button on his suit that grew his mask around his head.  "We need a plan.  We can't just rush in there without knowing what were getting into."

"There's no time!" Peter screamed back angrily.  He ran out the back, not bothering to wait for the others who were quick to follow.

Knowing you had to at least try, you bolted for the bedroom doors.  You yanked on them harshly and began to shout as you realized that they were locked.  You even went as far as to try banging on them as hard as possible.  But it didn't work.

"Those doors are enforced with steel.  The only way for you to get out is for me to let you."  The way that Harry was stalking towards you just made you panic even more.  His movements were so languid and relaxed.  He knew he had you trapped, and he could do whatever he wanted.

You pressed yourself back against the wall as he came closer.  If you were going to make it out of there, making him think that you weren't going to fight was the best way to catch him off guard.  When he began to reach for you, you hit him with a roundhouse kick.  What you weren't expecting, however, was for him to grab your ankle and flip you so that you fell onto the ground with a resounding thud.  Your head hit the corner of the wall and your kicks grew slower and disoriented as he dragged you towards him.

"Come on, darling, I don't want to mess up your pretty face, but I will if I have to," he snarled.  He let go of his grip on you, and you tried to stand, but he grabbed you by your hair before you could.  "There.  Now there won't be so much kicking."

Tears were beginning to stream down your face as he dragged you a few feet further by your curls.  You began to scream again as he lifted you, tossing you onto the bed like you were a rag doll.  You scrambled backwards, kicking out at him, but he just dragged you back.  He seemed to be more animal than man as he grabbed at your dress, ripping it in multiple places.  His hands were all over you, ripping the slit even further before dragging your underwear down.  His nails dug into your skin as he held your wrists above your head, the other moving to undo his pants.  You squeezed your eyes shut as you shook your head.  You began to pray to whatever God there was, hoping for some kind of rescue.

The sound of broken glass was the response.

Harry turned to see what had happened when a familiar superhero dragged him off of you.  Spider-Man—Peter—was pummeling the man to a pulp.  The beautiful doors that led out to the balcony were busted, glass covering the floor.

You let out a cry of relief as Tony landed on the balcony in the Iron Man suit.  "I've got him," you heard him say to Peter, taking Harry and slamming him up against the wall.

But you were too focused on Peter.  Peter, who was suddenly running to you, picking you up and holding you against his chest as you cried.  Peter, who was whispering in your ear, "I'm here.  I'm here.  You're safe.  I've got you," as he hurried to the balcony doors.  "It's okay.  I've got you."  Peter, who was scaling the side of the mansion while holding you flush against him.

You buried your face into the crook of his neck, sobs still wracking your body as he carried you onto the quinjet.  He tried setting you on the gurney in the medical bay of the jet, but you clutched onto him, refusing to let go.  The dress was barely hanging off of you, your shoes having fallen off when Peter was carrying you to the vet.  There were cuts and scrapes all over, not to mention the dark purple bruises that were forming where his filthy hands had been.

So Peter held you to his chest, glaring at anyone who dared try to come close.  He rocked you softly as he kissed your hair, murmuring, "It's okay, angel.  I've got you."

The others were sitting close, but far enough away that you weren't aware of their presence.  When you eventually fell asleep, Bruce cautiously walked over to the two of you.  "Peter, we need to get her into the medical bay."

Before he could protect, Tony added, "You can stay with her there."

All Peter gave him was a curt nod, carrying you to the medical bay.  He was careful not to wake you as he set you on the hospital bed, clutching onto your hand tightly in his as the plane made it's way home.

#peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker fic

[happojin-blog]

[Ficlet] Anti-Villain

Dabi used to doubt Spinner’s commitment - now, Spinner doubts his.

Gen | 1k | sequel to It’s Nothing Personal

Context: nine months ago, I published the first part of what would become a mini-series of League oriented ficlets, with some themes of unrecruited ShigaDabi and ShigaToga, all opening with my then view of Dabi and Spinner’s relationship. Things since then have changed, and I mentioned a while ago that if I were to write that series now, Spinner and Dabi’s roles would’ve been reversed.

@ajokersheart suggested I write that retelling. I decided to try. Timeline’s a little messed up by both the earlier installments and the updating canon, but I hope you’ll find it comprehensible nonetheless.

-

Spinner intervenes when Dabi makes to leave the group again. Calls out, “Dabi,” giving him a meaningful look and crossing his arms over his chest. Then he startles a bit, looking away with his cheeks reddened – because Shigaraki looks his way too.

Dabi decides to stick around, but Shigaraki and the others leave, Twice supporting Giran, following leader closely, and Mr. Compress tilts his hat in farewell. Toga was teleported to the good doctor’s medical bay ahead of them all.

So it’s just him and the traitor, then, outside of doctor Ujiko’s inner facilities. They were warped back here following their victory against the Meta Liberation Army and Gigantomachia both. The hall is all dark corners, mysterious tubes running along the floor from the main laboratory, lit by off putting, lime green tubes. Spinner doesn’t speak until they can hear the doors at the other end of the hallway slide close, the others having left the room for their temporary haunt.

“So what is it this time?” Dabi asks, sounding bored out of his mind. When everyone else decided to rest, he’d declared he had things to do elsewhere.

“Do you remember telling me that the League of Villains is the future?” Spinner asks, his voice stern.

“I said that?” Dabi scratches his head, pretends to think hard – shrugs. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“You did,” Spinner insists. “You told me it’s either with or us against us.” He steps closer, even as Dabi stands there looking more annoyed than cornered. “So what is it to you lately? The rest of us have been battling nonstop for months. Shigaraki hasn’t slept more than two hours at a time for that long and when that army dropped on us in the middle of it all he didn’t hesitate one second to throw himself into another fray alongside us.

“And where were you? What do you have to show the League besides your shitty attitude?”

“Here and there.” Dabi sighs, exasperated. “As for what I’ve got to show for it, I’ll be sure to tell the boss directly, instead of the Stain cosplaying lizard.”

“Stop screwing around!” Spinner fists the collar of Dabi’s duster, but drops it in the nick of time before a wave of blue flames hit him from below. Shoving off, he regains some distance between them.

“You come off it,” Dabi scoffs, brushing his collar like it’s been dirtied. “Starting to play guard dog, are we? Was hearing Shigaraki’s backstory all it took? One whiff of empathy and that hero killer legacy you’ve been such a pain in the ass about goes out the window? Give me a break.”

Spinner takes a deep breath. Breathing slowly.

“This isn’t about me, Dabi,” he says, coldly. “This is about you, and the fact that you don’t respect anyone but yourself. If you don’t want to be part of the League you should just leave. I’ve yet to see you contribute anything to the cause.

“You’re pathetic. Was getting rejected by Shigaraki all it took for you to want to abandon ‘the future’?”

Dabi opens his right hand by his side, a fire burning in his palm.

“Careful. If I weren’t still part of the League, I’d have burned you for that. Luckily for you Shigaraki assured me you two’d had a chat so all’s fine and dandy.”

“You wanna go?” Spinner puts his thumb at the hilt of his sword, pushing it up from the sheath.

Dabi leans forward, throwing his hands back to create space for his fire.

“Sure the boss won’t mind?”

A third voice calls out: “Actually, I’m sure that he would.”

Both men instantly fall back, hearing Mr. Compress emerge from the shadows. “This is beneath you gentlemen, wouldn’t you say?”

He walks up to stand between them, looking first at Spinner, who sheepishly sheaths his sword, to Dabi, putting out his flames.

Dabi clicks his tongue.

“I’m out of here. You saw that he started it, didn’t you?” he asks Mr. Compress, without waiting for an answer. “If the boss asks, I’ll be in touch.”

He passes Spinner on his way to the exit, intent to brush shoulders with him – but Spinner doesn’t budge, he might as well have hit the wall.

As the exit door shuts, Spinner exhales, eyes closed.

 “My. Things got a bit heated, hm, excuse the pun.” Mr. Compress is unfettered, only slightly dimmed in mood due to the previous battles of the day.

Spinner takes a moment to collect himself.

“Mister, when did you get here?”

“Shigaraki asked me to stay behind, actually. Seems like he knew where this was heading before either of you did. Unless your plan was indeed to kill Dabi or die trying.”

“… it wasn’t.” Spinner looks away, gritting his teeth. “But doesn’t it bother anyone else? We’ve been fighting endlessly and Shigaraki’s been pushed beyond his limits on the daily, and even beyond, and that guy didn’t lift a finger to help until today! Yet when people hear the League of Villains, he’s the poster boy, ever since his little stunt against Endeavor.”

He’s being petty, or too easily frustrated, he knows.

“… yes, I share that sentiment.”

Spinner snaps around, surprised that Mr. Compress would admit as much – instead of playing the diplomat. “I can’t pretend to like a diva, and for a fire wielder, he’s got a cold heart. Still, attacking him-“

“I was out of line. I know.”

“Yes. Well. No matter what he’s insinuating, our leader doesn’t need to know who started it.” Mr. Compress says this while tilting his head to the side.

“… you know I can’t see if you’re winking while wearing that mask right?”

Mr. Compress claps Spinner’s shoulder. “Seems like you could. Anyway, we’ll just keep this between ourselves, won’t we? Now let’s go joined the others, I’m sure our leader will want us there with him.”

Spinner lets himself be lead towards their new quarters, the opposite direction of Dabi’s hasty retreat.

He stood firm, but his shoulder burns.

#spinner #dabi #league of villains #it's nothing personal fic #ficlet #fanfiction

[lilithhawthorne]

It’s time for me to share what I created for the reverse MASS EFFECT BIG BANG hosted by @mebigbang!! I was lucky enough to get the amazing art of @jubberry and inspiration for a story where a Shepard who never left the Reds has a run in with everyone’s favorite C-Sec detective. I had a few personal issues that meant I wasn't able to finish in time, so I hope you don't mind that I will be posting the THRILLING conclusion next week. I thought this was a better option than rewriting something that had a rushed ending.

BUT ANYWAYS, here is CHAPTER ONE (of two) of 

[Cross Posted on AO3]

Skulking. The shop keeper said they had been skulking, and when he had gotten the call from dispatcher Omega Schebler she had shaped the word skulking into a concussive round that said your punishment isn’t over. That’s why Garrus Vakarian, the detective with egg on his face so fresh it could have been salvaged to make an omelet, got the call and not a beat cop who had the time. 

“Be nice to the old lady,” his partner quipped as Garrus called up a patrol car. “The Citadel can be a scary place for lonely old ladies, and you know groups of humans are never a good thing.” 

Garrus opened his omnitool while Dix blathered on behind him, the human’s self-deprecating jab avalanching into a series of anecdotes from his first days working the Wards. The skycar flashed a green light, accepting his authorization code, and the door lifted with a gentle hiss. Stale cigarette smoke and the stench of unwashed bodies, of all kinds, permeated from the worn upholstered seats. 

“I thought they were required to clean these things out more often,” Garrus muttered. With only Dix around, he didn’t bother to suppress the ire in his voice. 

Dix stuck his head in the open door and took four open-mouthed and rapid breaths, his stomach caving in and billowing out beneath his shirt. “I don’t smell nothin’,” he said. “But, hey, I only got this human nose.” 

His omnitool beeped, an automated reminder that it had been 10 minutes since the call had been logged scrolling rapidly across his screen. With a click, he sent a response that he was en route. He turned back to look at his partner before folding himself into the car. Whoever had sat it in last must have been human, and his bony knees chaffed against the dash before he could adjust the seat. “No one has a nose like you, Lemley. I hear they’re thinking of making it a Citadel Monument, the thing is big enough to direct traffic.” 

“Oh har har.” Dix looked over his shoulder to make sure no one from the office was in the lot before raising his middle finger in response. “Have fun on your petty crimes beat, Detective Vakarian.”

Garrus bristled in response, his mandibles pulled tight and his talons splayed across his lap. The joke soured between them. After a moment, Dix leaned close, his hand pressed against the sensor to keep the door from bumping his head on the way down. His brows knitted together and his voice dropped. “Hey, look, it’ll be a lil’ bit longer, so what? Someone will fuck up sooner or later, and Boomie will forget all about - “

“Yeah,” Garrus interrupted, “sure.” It had been said before, by everyone at least once, and by Dix at least once a day since he had been called into Captain Baumvi’s office. That had been two weeks ago, and the captain seemed disinclined to forget anytime soon. 

Dix puffed his cheeks up and squinted at Garrus, his not-so-subtle indication that he was hurt Garrus wouldn’t let himself be comforted. “Fine,” he said, letting his mandibles loosen in a display of affable good-faith. “I’ll tell the captain that you and Seegmiller call her Boomie behind her back, that’ll put me in her good graces again.” 

“Ehhh that’s the spirit. Okay now fuck off and go wrangle those errant skulking humans.” Dix stepped back from the car, rapping the window with his knuckles as goodbye. Garrus entered the coordinates of the store, and the patrol car lifted off into the orderly flow of Citadel traffic.

Garrus stopped himself from pinching his mandibles, but he couldn’t keep the warble of frustration from his voice. “So you didn’t see them do anything?” he asked Orsant Varana for the second time. 

“Well, they were - “

He raised a hand in the air, halting the shop keeper before she launched into another diatribe about what the humans she saw were planning to do. “Again, it’s a yes or no question. Did you see the group of humans do anything besides skulking?” 

The salarian blinked up at him, her large eyeballs audibly moist. He wasn’t an expert in xenoculture, but he guessed her body language suggested she was very angry with him. Her tiny frame hunched before him, eyes blinking rapidly, he recalled Captain Baumvi’s warning: I don’t give a fuck who you are, who you think you are, or what you think you bring to the team. Cut the attitude - you’re a detective, not a Spectre. 

Keeping a trill of frustration buried beneath his subvocals, he made a conscious effort to uncross his arms. “Orsant,” he tried again, using her first name in a bid to come off as friendly, “I can’t arrest a group of tourists on the Citadel for being in one place for too long. Believe me, I would if I could “ - he broke off and forced a laugh, his arms splayed in a suggestive display that he hoped she would appreciate. Tourists are the worse, his carefree laugh said, I hate them, too! 

Orsant looked unimpressed. 

“Ahem, anyways.” He looked back at his omnitool, paraphrasing from her extensive complaint. “Despite the fact that they were all wearing red and looked suspicious, I can’t do anything about it unless they actually commit a crime. Did you see them do anything illegal?” 

“You can never trust humans who have a uniform, especially when they are in groups,” she warned. 

“Yes, well, I’ve never heard that saying,” he replied slowly, hesitant to say that she was wrong because, well… she wasn’t. “But other than that….” He trailed off, hoping she would supply him with the kernel he needed to take her complaint seriously. 

She didn’t take the hint. “Mark my words,” she intoned aggressively, gesturing with a long finger up at him, “they’ll be back! They’ve been outside the store every day for a week! They’ll be back!” 

Garrus excused himself and exited her store, his omnitool ringing the captain as soon as he was out of earshot of the shop keeper. He was required to check in with her whenever he wasn’t at the station, a condition of his punishment that inconvenienced both of them and kept her angry. 

“What is it?” she barked into the line. 

“Hey, Captain.” His greeting fell flat and was unreturned, so he rushed to fill the silence. “I’ve just spoken to the shop keeper, Orsant Varana. The group of humans she called in about, although annoying, haven’t done anything.

“Her initial report said they come back every day. Have you seen them yet?” 

“Well, no, but - “

“Great. Pull up a seat. Wait ‘em out.” 

Silence dipped between them as Garrus searched for something to say. A stakeout? For a group of tourists? She was trying to kill him with boredom. 

“Is there anything else you need, Detective Vakarian?” Her voice was almost cruel over the line, and he was glad it was only voice so she couldn’t see his mandibles flare in frustration. 

“No, captain, that’s all.” 

Baumvi disconnected the line without saying goodbye. He thought about sending an update to Dix, but committing the idiocy of his detail in writing would only further irritate him. Instead, he turned the display off and looked across the sprawl of shops in search of a suitable spot to begin his watch. Across the way, impeded only by a few benches and a shallow pond, he saw a volus cafe with more than half the tables empty. 

There was a vidscreen behind the counter playing a news station with CITADEL: ALL NEWS, ALL THE TIME emblazoned in the corner of the screen. The volume was distracting, and Garrus raised his voice to compete with the newscaster. “Do you have any dextro drinks?” he asked, eyeing the menu with trepidation. There were many variations of lattes.

“Just one,” the volus breathed back.

“I’ll take it.” 

The volus went to work making his drink, a complicated whir of machinery and shakers adding to the cacophony that overtook the small cafe. There were four others, scattered across three tables, and only the couple in the corner seemed unaware of the ruckus. They seemed oblivious of anything that existed outside the circle of their intertwined arms. 

He took a seat close to the door, the spotless glass walls allowing him full view of the gift store across the way. 

The news program had shifted stories, a cheerful asari talking over a picture of two humans in matching armor. Garrus’s gut heaved as if he had just been thrown across the room. It was the newest Spectres, a team of humans that the council had entrusted to go after Saren Arterius. He focused on what the asari was saying, although he already knew the story. He had read it every day since the story had debuted just under a month ago. 

“ - Kaidan Alenko and Ashley Williams, humanity’s first Spectres, unexpectedly encountered their rogue counterpart on Virmire. Although the total number of casualties has not been confirmed by the STG, sources close to the battle suggest that the numbers would have been higher had the two Spectres not been present. Leaked footage shows Spectre Williams facing off against a charging krogan! The two could not be reached - “

Garrus slammed his fists down on the table, startling the volus who had approached from behind with his drink. 

“You will be charged for anything you break,” she warned, placing the glass cylinder in front of him with extreme care. 

“Can you turn that off?” He motioned to the news, the asari still gushing about the fine work of humanity’s greatest assets. 

The volus shrugged and lowered the volume, but the screen stayed on. 

“Not a fan of the news?” a voice from behind inquired. 

There was a leaden ball bouncing beneath his carapace, and the question irked him more than it should. “Tired of hearing about their exploits,” he responded with venomous disdain. 

“Tell me about it. Blah, blah, blah, we get it, they’re saving the world. Let me know when it’s about to blow up, that’s all I care about.” 

With a huff of amusement, Garrus turned in his chair, his eyes connecting with a human woman sitting the table over. Her feet were propped on a chair across from her, a crumpled jacket and bag thrown across the other two. A little human taking up a lot of space. Typical. But her smile was easy and engaging, and she seemed keen on conversation.  

“I’m Shepard,” she supplied without him asking. She stuck a hand out, leaning forward to reach across the table. Hunched over, he could see the couple in the corner table, an asari and a human man, were sitting knee to knee and staring intensely into each other’s eyes. 

Garrus took the offered hand, focusing back on the least weird of the strange things in the cafe, and gave it a stiff pump, up and down, before letting go. Dix was also a fan of handshakes, he handed them out everywhere they went, but they felt strange to Garrus. Maybe it was because humans had such small, soft hands, and even with gloves on, he could feel how fragile they were. Yet he had witnessed Dix attempt to shake not one but two krogan’s hands. “Vakarian.” 

Dead silence filled the space between them. Shepard smiled blithely, unaware or uncaring that his introduction was wooden. She gestured to his drink and asked, “What’s that?” 

“Uh.” He looked at the untouched beverage in front of him, then took stock of the four empty glasses in front of Shepard. “Dextro, I don’t think you’d like it.”

“Ah, right.” She nodded, a curly red ponytail bobbing behind her, and tapped her temple with a finger as if she had been given the missing piece to a puzzle. “Different biology.” 

“Very.” 

The volus was busy behind the counter helping a new guest, her machines chugging away as she ripped open fridge doors and slammed them back shut. The amount of noise she was making seemed impossible. 

Shepard smiled wide enough to bare her teeth, and she jerked her chin towards the volus. “She’s always like that. This place, too. Super loud, impossible to have a conversation. Or concentrate. Forget about making plans,” she said with a laugh as if she came here often to make plans. 

Then why are you trying? he thought, but he managed to say, “Must be bad for business.” 

“Could be why it’s so slow.” The human shrugged and readied herself to say more, but a beep from her omnitool cut her short. Her brow furrowed for a moment, but she looked back up at him with another quick and easy grin. “That was work. I’ve got to run.” 

Garrus tensed his mandibles as she began to gather her things, but nodded as if he understood her rush. He thought about his own work, the monotonous task that brought him to the cafe in the first place and had by extension trapped him in an awkward conversation. 

The woman breezed past his table, her unfolded jacket revealing a brilliant crimson geometric pattern on the back. “It was nice meeting you, Detective Vakarian.” She paused mid-step to glance back at him, her smile morphing into something wicked. “It’s usually better to make your calls to the captain in private. Never know who could be listening.” 

Shit. 

He rose to his feet, but before he could make it around the table, she had pitched her bag at him. He raised his arms, expecting something hard to pelt him, but instead, the limp fabric bounced off his carapace and clumped at his feet. A crude but efficient distraction; it bought her enough time that she had made it out the door, pushing through a crowd at a full sprint. 

The volus yelled something after him, but he was out the door in pursuit. Even at this hour, the Citadel was crowded, and he could see Shepard fighting her way through a crowd near the stairwell. 

“Citadel Security!” he shouted, his voice carrying over the din of conversations. “Stop that human woman!”  

Shepard had just worked her way through the crowd and was rocketing down the less congested stairwell. She jumped down the last few steps, stumbling before correcting herself and turning the corner, descending out of sight. 

“Hey, officer, which human?” someone shouted back as he ran by. 

“Forget it,” he hissed between clenched mandibles. 

He made the stairwell in half the time she had, his long legs carrying him a greater distance and making it easy for him to vault down double the steps. The floor below was slightly less crowded, but the red-headed human was nowhere in sight. 

That’s not a problem, he thought. He opened his omnitool and turned on the pathway that allowed his visor to pick up bio-signs. Not strictly legal and not something the captain would be happy about if she found out. He had promised to use it only with prior authorization. Baumvi claimed it amounted to illegal use of monitoring equipment, but he had a point to prove. 

Tiny heat signatures flooded his field of vision, and with a few more taps he had limited the readings to include those that belonged to “xenobiology: human,” increased heart rate, and perspiration. The pinpoints of activity reduced to a more manageable number. 

He took a brisk but controlled tour of the floor, matching the signatures to anyone he could see. There were a lot of sweaty humans, but only one he was interested in. 

His tour stretched past the show floor and into what should have been an employees-only loading dock. It contained the back product and newest arrivals for all the stores, restaurants, and cafes in a specific floor range. The door was coded, but the friendly green light indicated this one had been unlocked recently. And just inside the room, no more than a few feet from the door, a panting, sweating human.

Got you. 

Garrus wasn’t interested in a shoot out - though he had no idea if she had a gun - and wrestling with a suspect never looked good. The room would be full of crates and shelves, and though she looked low to the ground, he couldn’t tell what she was behind, or how much stood between them. There were too many unknowns, even if it was just one human. He opted for the more peaceful route, rapping the back of his hand on the wall before hollering, “If you come out now, all I’m going to do is ask you a few questions!” 

The signature bobbed, a sign that she was shifting her position in some way, but the distance remained fixed. She wasn’t coming out and she wasn’t running. 

“I’m going to come in,” he warned, and after a pause, he stepped into range of the automatic doors. 

A few things happened all at once, but before she smacked into him, he noticed with unease that the room was empty. There had been nothing between her and the door, and as soon as it opened, she lunged at him, her arms wrapping around his waist and her legs dropping between his. She was falling to the ground and taking him with her. 

He was dense and under normal circumstances, she shouldn’t have been able to take him down, but she had the element of surprise. He was unsteady on his feet from the shock, and she dragged him down before he could correct his stance and stand firm. 

“Ooof.” The fall knocked the wind out of Shepard, and she lay still beneath him, a look between mild amusement and frustration playing across her features. 

“Didn’t think that out did you?” Garrus rose quickly to his feet, alleviating some of the pressure she was feeling. She had managed to take him down alright, but she hadn’t been prepared for the weight of a turian. 

She regained her composure quickly and rejected his offered hand. “No,” she admitted as she stood, her knees still a little shaky, “but I thought it was worth a shot. Did the job well enough.” 

He didn’t take his eyes off her as he unholstered his weapon. “Did what job well enough?” he inquired. Though it was all beginning to make sense. 

She took a few steps away from him, her lips pinched together as she eyed the gun in his hands. Then her face relaxed, the now familiar grin pulling at the corners of her lips, only this time he saw how fake it was. “I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough. You’ll get a notice that there’s been an armed robbery, and it will be awful embarrassing when it turns out you were at the scene of the crime, chatting away in a cafe.” 

“We were talking for two minutes,” he spat. Two minutes was all it would take for professionals, he knew that, especially if they had already started by the time he sat down. It was just enough time for them to slip out, and even without alarms, he would have clued in on a group of humans leaving. Would have looked enough to know that something was up even before the alert was sent. 

Shepard knew what he was thinking, and the grin reached her eyes as she looked up from the gun, her chin tilted back in defiance. “Plenty of time,” was all she said. 

I’m never going to hear the end of this.

A quick sweep of the room confirmed that they were alone, but there was nothing more he could do with her here. He was going to have to take her in and face the wrath of the captain. “Alright,” he began, holstering his gun again and pulling out a pair of handcuffs. “You’ll be coming with me.” 

The ease with which she submitted should have raised a few alarm bells. If not that, then the toothy grin she offered up as the handcuffs tightened over her wrists. Everything pointed to a reckoning. But all Garrus could think about was how angry Captain Baumvi was going to be. 

Orsant was right; groups of humans couldn’t be trusted. 

#fshakarian #mass effect #mass effect big bang #mass effect fanfic #mass effect fanfiction #garrus vakarian #jubberry

[homestucky]

Davekat fic recs?

hrrmm wow i will have to think. ill probs just check my bookmarks which means i probably wont be able to think of many one chapter fics off the top of my head since i dont tend to bookmark them. also some that havent been updated in yrs i wont put here bcaus thats just frustrating unless theyre rlly notable and may come back i may not link them

also disclaimer that while im not super into smut so its unlikely im gonna recommend just porn fics, some may have some sexy times incidentally i suppose. also a lot of them are dave centric/dave POV bcaus hes my BOY

M.C. Escher that’s my favourite MC by Unda (COMPLETE)  is a wild ride and long but i recommend for sure, very well written n thought out. also check out the other fics in the series bcaus if i recall correctly there are some other shorter fics that unda wrote to give some background or develop characters. but theyre also really great even stand-alone! its finished now and i followed it the whole time :0. cw for child abuse and death 

Within, Without by reinkist (COMPLETE)  i actually read a long time ago so i dont remember it so well. i do remember thinking it was pretty great tho, so i do recommend it. i should probably go back for a reread some time. its just a really good meteor fic that explores everything you’d want it to, and does that well, u kno? its like the fic that u wanted to exist but couldnt find. but here it is!

Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical  (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED)is great, its like a multichapter magic/superhero au thing. its fun and characters in it are rlly well developed, like, i do enjoy a davekat fic which has a good and significant rose characterisation in there too. but theres some serious plot goin in in here too…. very exciting. 

To Be Taken Care Of by shitstuck  (COMPLETE)is good, its god some deep convos about troll v human culture and stuff, some rosemary too. bit of body horror but if i can handle it its not too bad. i just reread it lol. the epilogue changes the tone of things a bit n id be interested to know other peoples thoughts on that ;_;

Don’t Forget the Sun by Weevilo707 is rlly good but sadly NOT COMPLETE AND HASNT BEEN UPDATED IN AGES :@!! hope the authors doin ok  (EDIT: APPARENTLY the author is not planning on updating this one again, but i still think its a good read :^) )

Book Covers by turntechGeneticist717  (COMPLETE) is rlly great also!! big recommend. dave is lookin after a babby dirk as his big brother in college. i havent read it in a while but i remember when it was updating being like !!!!!!!!!!!Aaa!! also there are others in the series so take a look :)

The Truth is in the Eyes by AcrylicMist  (COMPLETE)is like a rlly mythological/fantasy interpretation of canon post game which is very cool????? like the world is sort of medieval or something but w the gods n magicky stuff. rlly interesting. , very dope again havent read it in a while and am running out of steam for ranting about fics but!! yea its sweet w an intriguing plot

The Eurydice Suite by callmearcturus  (COMPLETE) !!!!!!!!!!! i love this fic so much like its bonkers n i just. its like an inception sort of inspired au and i have NEVER watched inception but im just super into the concept. its just. a rlly amazing well written fic w perfect pacing and characterisation like the plot is like a beautiful spider web where time flicks back and forth yet makes perfect sense. theres such a sense of atmosphere. ive reread it so many times. also!!1111111 i love the dave in it, and i love the strilondes family relationsy stuff!! i also feel like it ties everything up rlly nicely despite having like all the main characters in it p much. hell yeaaaa. its my fav by this author whos an AMAZING writer like they just DROP U IN to the world with so much confidence and drop context and background in at a perfect pace so ur never confused but always intrigued. but often i find the atmosphere in their fics almost TOO intense u know?? like i feel like i wake up in a ditch after reading one like wh,,h who am i?? i hate using this word but the writing is weirdly like… “sensual” which i think means the writing is great, rlly strong atmosphere but im not  always 100% able to handle it. this one does not make me feel so dazed and its just.. yess

The Lucky Ones by daniomalley (COMPLETE) is another one i followed as it came out. a cool spacey au. sorry i cant think of anything else to say aaaa

Off Court by levvan (ON HIATUS?) is great tho strong themes of abuse from the start. not that none of the above have that if i havent said so uhhhh yea be wary of the tags i guess. but yes. 

three rounds and a sound by skitpost (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) is rlly great, like a magic school au. very excited to see whats gonna happen next :0

We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit) byLandOfMistAndSecrets (COMPLETE) is TECHNICALLY a dirkjake fic but it has very cute little pastiches of other characters and the DK ones are very cute and well characterised

An Alien and a DJ Walk into a Bar (and Accidentally Start a Relationship) by Kadaaver (APPEARS TO BE ON HIATUS) i was p into when it was still updating. theres not actually MUCH relationship stuff yet if i recall correctly but still. good. and i enjoy the characterisation of dave being p socially anxious.

turntechGodhead is offline by forestknifefight (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) well relatively recently. i like this one a lot! theres some good beta kid friendship and some good karkat.

Astronomy in Reverse by PunkZucchini, sicklekind (ON HIATUS>??????) cute + features BIGKAT is i recall correctly

Bring You Down by acedavestrider (COMPLETE) idk what to say about this but thats not a criticism. its just a legit cute fic that is good for the heart. human au, earth n whatever. karkat is a student nurse!! yeaa! thats kind of incidental but i like it

Survival of the Richest by ireallyloveicecream (HIATUS???) theres not a lot of it but im so intrigued. some kind of a fae/magic fairy folk kinda thing

Californian Son by LivTC (COMPLETE BUT THERES MORE IN THE SERIES WHICH I HOPE WILL CONTINUE TO BE UPDATED ETC ETC) !! ok this one is kind of sexy n angsty and daves a REAL DICK in it but it rlly well written and i rlly wanna know more jijhihihu

First Contact by yesfir (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) !! its au but like idk scifi, humans having to make a deal with/coexist with trolls. space colonies!! this one is great… good character development and plot… does that great thing of pacing the revelations of the plot rlly gradually so ur like ! somethings happening here and i must know more!!!

Feathered by AlloftheFandom  (UNFINISHED, RECENTLY UPDATED) this ones exciting :3 karkat has only just been introduced to it. its like a magicky world w a bit of mild body horror so far. some good strilondes also… has anyone noticed that i need strilonde family relations in a fic i love….

Soulmates by egossweetheart  (UNFINISHED (fairly..?) RECENTLY UPDATED) this is a souleater au which i dont know a lot about??? but its cool, i am suitably intrigued. bit of body horror. idk as always check the tags. idek why im bothering to specify that. anyways,

 Vladimir and Estragon Cope with Their Trauma by Volo (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) afterlife au. so yea TW death. im into it tho

The Importance of Being Karkat by choicescarfsylveon (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) karkat has a radioshow, dave is kind of a dick. some parts of that change. i wont spoil which. theres something deeper goin on too…….. mysterios….

anyways here are some fics that i think are cool. sorry it took ages i just wanted to give it a good effort ukno?? its not an exhaustive list but its what i found. thanks to all these authors and hey, while we’re at it, all fanfic authors!! good work and i hope u all know how appreciated it is. anyways i have a headache so i guess ill finish this up. peace!

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #fanfiction #dave #karkat #ask #long post

[la-vita-in-arancione]

Killer Queen: Chapter 7 - Bohemian Rhapsody

Summary:  Arabella Ruth White is the fifth member of the Marauders. And life at Hogwarts certainly isn’t easy. Especially when you have alcohol, relationships, unhealthy music obsessions, a fake stage persona, weird ass friends with weird ass problems and actual school all thrown into the equation. (This story is also on Wattpad and AO3 of the same name. I will always update on Wattpad first.)

A/N: Sorry I didn’t post last week even though I said I would. Half term ended up being busier than planned. We are now up to date with the Watttpad version of this story so that’s something! Enjoy!

Warning(s): swearing, mention of babies because that might be triggering for some people

Word Count: 2.6k+

Taglist: @missqueeniewrites

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I don't often receive owl mail. I just don't. No idea why. My darling bastards of siblings can never be bothered to write to me, claiming that if they send me loads of letters then we'll have nothing to talk about when I get home. Which is fair enough. Even if it does seem a bit rude. But oh well. What are you going to do?

The only good thing about it, however, was that when I did get owl mail, it was always about something important. Some of my favourite letters have been from Rhea telling me that she never intended to speak to Luke ever again, only for her to reverse this statement only one day later; one from Mum telling me that the lady who owned the chippy on the pier had had a baby; and one from Luke telling me that said baby had shat on the carpet of his bedroom and that he now had to share with Rhea.

So, going by this logic, every letter I will ever get while at Hogwarts is guaranteed to be either important, amusing or both. This means it's worth my time. I reminded myself of this when I acquired my first letter of the year on a misty Friday morning which just so happened to be Halloween. As it was a Friday, I was naturally exhausted after the long week we had had (our OWLs must have been catching up with me). This was why I felt the need to remind myself that I absolutely had to read this letter. It could remodel my entire life my life for all I knew. The untidy bordering on illegible handwriting on the envelope clearly told me it was from Mum. I ripped it open and not one but two things were inside: a short letter from Mum and a small parcel which was the unmistakable size and shape of a single vinyl record.

Hello Ruth,

I actually apparated to just outside the school gates to owl this to you as it couldn't wait any longer. This morning Queen released a new single and you'll find it enclosed in the envelope. It's called Bohemian Rhapsody and the B-side is called I'm In Love With My Car. God knows what inspires them to make these songs. Steve from the record shop down the road says both songs are superb and that you'll like them if not love them. No news as to when the album is coming yet.

I hope everything's been going alright at school. How is the "project" going? Please tell me you've started by now, it's not fair on Remus to keep him waiting for this long. Sorry for not owling you sooner but to be honest, nothing much has happened in the two months you've been gone. The only thing really worth noting is that someone tried to shoplift some things from the shop so I threw a bucket and spade at them. They haven't come back since.

Luke and Rhea send their love of course, not that they would ever admit it in the presence of the other. Trixie from next door also asked me to check up on you as she hadn't seen you much all summer. I can't wait for Christmas so you can come back, thankfully it's only less than a couple of months. I'm slowly losing my mind without anyone else here to have an intelligent conversation with.

Love you lots,

Mum xxx

Fuck yes, Mum.

She is an actual savage and I love that so much. Only she would get away with throwing kids toys at thieves. Sounds like he deserved it though. What kind of crackhead would assume they could steal from my mum and get away with it. I made a promise to myself to reply to her after lessons had ended for the day.

But on a more important note. Queen released a new single.

Two new songs.

Holy shitting fuckity fuck on a crumpet.

FINALLY NEW MATERIAL.

AFTER A FUCKING YEAR.

YES.

The gods must have been smiling at me that day for this was a glory that not even Clotho could have foreseen. I unwrapped the record, more carefully this time as to not scratch it, and, true to Steve's word, there was the vinyl: Bohemian Rhapsody. Whatever the fuck that meant. Sounded pretty epic though.

"Are you OK Ruth?" Remus asked, mock concern lacing his voice. He'd given up on trying to teach us how to stay alive years ago, now he merely observed and occasionally saved our lives. Honestly, bless that boy. However, it wasn't until he had asked this question that I realised this wasn't the first time the boys had tried to get my attention since I received the letter.

"I'm fan-fucking-tastic, darling. Never been better," I grinned.

"Now here's the thing, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not," Peter chuckled, causing me to lightly whack him around the back of the head.

"No, you bloody wanker, I am genuinely joyful."

"Well that's new," Sirius muttered, earning him also a small smack. I would never properly hit any of my friends unless they had absolutely betrayed me. Which was unlikely.

"What's so good about this letter then?" James asked earnestly, just a tad confused.

I smirked at him, "If you come and bunk this lesson with me then you'll find out."

So that's how the boys and I ended up in the Room of Requirement, listening to Queen's latest song, instead of being in Divination.

At some point during my first year, I found out about the Room of Requirement when I overheard a conversation between some 7th years. Upon discovering this, I promptly went to the room's location, wishing for a space for music. A bit vague, I must admit, but at the time, I had merely been searching for a place to keep my record player and vinyls. The room itself was not as plain as I first visualized. Many wooden, modest-sized crates and boxes filled to the brim with my records were scattered around - more of an organised mess than you might expect. Each crate was dedicated to a certain artist who I loved: Queen, Elton John, David Bowie, The Beatles, etc. My scarlet, black and gold record player sat proudly on top of a dark oak cupboard that existed for purely decorative purposes. A grand piano stood on the other side of the spacious room next to a throne of sorts that I felt was necessary to have. A crimson, old-fashioned sofa was positioned at the back of the room with an identical ivory one opposite it. Fairy lights were tangled in just about everything in the room, adding to the general aesthetic rather than any form of assistance. If anything, it was more of a nuisance but I would never sacrifice the atmosphere it presented.

The boys plonked themselves on the leather sofas as I crouched down, carefully placed the record on the turntable and adjusted the speed from the usual 33 RPM to the 45 setting. I put the needle on the rim of the record and sat cross-legged on the floor next to the speakers. I loved to have them right next to my ears whenever I listened to a record for the first time. Especially when it came to Queen – it didn't escape my attention that the sound often went from one speaker to the other. I closed my eyes softly when I heard the familiar crackle that always made me grin like an idiot. There was something about focusing on just my hearing and giving my other senses break. That was how music was supposed to be – for your ears.

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

The strong harmonies rang throughout the room, almost echoing.

Caught in a landslide

No escape from reality

Open your eyes

Look up to the skies and see

The piano started to creep in, gradually getting louder as the song progressed.

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

Freddie's effortlessly recognisable voice sung alone for a moment, only for the harmonies to make a comeback.

Because I'm easy come, easy go

Little high, little low

The lyrics filled both of my ears, left then right. It was so stereotypically Queen; it was like their seal, their stamp, their trademark that said 'Yeah, we did that'.

Anyway, the wind blows

Doesn't really matter to me, to me

The repetitive notes of the piano and John's wonderful bass sound played alone for a couple of bars.

Mama, just killed a man

Put a gun against his head

Pulled my trigger, now he's dead

Somewhat taken aback by the dark turn the lyrics had taken, I felt goosebumps up and down my arms as a reaction to the melancholic feel of the song.

Mama, life had just begun

But now I've gone and thrown it all away

The song as a whole rose to a crescendo. I could hear the emotion and passion in Freddie's voice – it was almost ethereal.

Mama, ooh, ooh

Didn't mean to make you cry

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow

Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

The volume suddenly decreased. Roger's drumming became more prominent in this verse.

Too late, my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine

Body's aching all the time

Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mama, ooh (anyway the wind blows) I don't want to die

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

The lyrics got darker if that was even possible. The clear, sharp sound of Brian's guitar solo filled every inch of the room. After about half a minute of glorious guitar, all of the instruments were cut short by quiet, staccato piano chords.

I see a little silhouette of a man

Scaramouch, Scaramouch will you do the fandango

I wasn't exactly expecting a full-on choir that was truly just Freddie, Roger and Brian's voices on top of each other, over and over again. I dreaded to imagine how long that must have taken to record.

Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me

Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo,

Galileo Figaro magnifico

The 'Galileo's made me giggle: how the fuck could Roger sing higher than me? I understand that I'm an alto but he's a bloke!

But I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

He's just a poor boy from a poor family

Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come easy go will you let me go

Bismillah, no we will not let you go, let him go

Bismillah, we will not let you go, let him go

Bismillah, we will not let you go, let me go

A tiny smile crept its way onto my face at hearing 'Bismillah'. It was a word that I had heard Dorcas say on numerous occasions.

Will not let you go, let me go (never)

Never let you go, let me go

Never let me go, ooh

No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me

For me, for me

Roger's ridiculously high voice filled my ears once again, even higher-pitched this time around. Louder, more rock-orientated music blasted out of the speakers of the record player. I couldn't help but bang my head along to it. It was like being hypnotised; you couldn't control your movements.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye

So you think you can love me and leave me to die

Oh baby, can't do this to me baby

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

The song quietened down again, not unlike how it had been at the beginning.

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah nothing really matters

Anyone can see nothing really matters

Nothing really matters to me

Anyway, the wind blows

The last line was barely audible but fortunately, I could make out Freddie's voice from my spot next to the speakers. When I finally opened my eyes again, I could see the boys had been straining to hear it. A gong sounded throughout the room, marking the end of the song.

I glanced at the boys, wanting to observe their reactions to the near enough six-minute masterpiece we had just had the privilege of hearing.

"That was definitely worth missing Divination for," Remus chuckled and honestly, that was the best I could have ever hoped for. We spent the next 20 minutes gushing about the song and listening to it again about 2 or 3 times. Only after this did we realise that we hadn't yet listened to the B-side: I'm In Love With My Car. Unsurprisingly, it was written and sung by Roger and was indeed about him being in love with his car. Not quite sure what I was expecting if I'm honest. It turned out to actually be a brilliant song and the boys and I had a blast rocking out to it.

Suddenly I had an epiphany. That absolutely, completely, positively could not wait a moment longer.

So naturally, I had to tell the boys.

"Guys, guys, guys!" I exclaimed, everyone turning their heads to stare at me like they were a clan of meerkats, "Remember our Halloween prank tonight at dinner? Change of plan."

**********

The rest of the day was a fairly normal affair. I could hardly concentrate because my mind was buzzing with thoughts about Queen and our prank tonight. Nothing out of the ordinary then.

By the time dinner came around, the excitement was radiating off us in waves. Somehow, this was the first prank we had done all year, which was certainly saying something. Just as Dumbledore stood up from his seat to give one if his famed speeches, I tapped on the table to signify the start of the prank. Peter took his cue and murmured a charm, making all of the candles suddenly blow out and plunging the Great Hall into darkness. Hushed whispers from confused students were suddenly silenced by the sound of a microphone whistling. This meant Remus had executed his part of the plan, now it was time for James's. Being the best at Transfiguration out of all of us, his job was to transform the metal torches at the tops of the walls into various different instruments - guitars, basses, drums, pianos, gongs, wind chimes, etc. Now for my part. I charmed all of the floating pumpkins in the hall so they would sing. Which song you ask? Bohemian Rhapsody, of course, my dears. I smiled when the familiar voices of Queen echoed all around the Great Hall. Once the acapella part of the song was over, Sirius charmed the newly made instruments so they would play their respective parts when needed. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing: even in the darkness, I could make out some facial expressions that could only be described as a mixture of confusion, annoyance, glee and defeat.

The song seemed to be over before it had even begun, which was a shame. Everyone applauded as we reversed the spells and Dumbledore actually congratulated us in his speech! McGonagall, however, reprimanded us and gave us detentions for disrupting the dinner or some bullshit like that. I personally believed she secretly loved the prank. Maybe the eye roll suggested this as she trooped back to the teacher's table. Or maybe I had imagined it.

Who even knows any more?

#marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #70s marauders #marauders era #marauders headcanon #lgbt fanfiction #lgbtlove #lgbt headcanon #lgbt imagine #lgbt #harry potter x queen #marauders x queen #queen #queen band #queen x reader #queen imagine #queen headcanon #queen fanfiction #bohemian rhapsody x reader #bohemian rhapsody #Sirius black imagine #remus lupin imagine #peter Pettigrew imagine #james potter imagine #Freddie mercury imagine #brian may imagine #john deacon imagine #roger taylor imagine

[journeysintowebcomics]

Girl Genius Liveblog #192

UPDATE 192: Train Delays and Other Sins

Last time Gil and Higgs found out something weird and unprecedented is happening in Mechanisburg. Now they have two years to reverse the time bubble, or else things may get ugly for the Baron. Let’s continue...with Agatha.

So, last time two assassin attacks got thwarted and only one of them was thanks to Agatha’s ‘scream-while-wearing-a-towel’ plan. A plan that’s effective only 50% of the time is not a good plan, so it may be a good thing it’s forced to be abandoned when the train makes an emergency stop. Time to go outside and check out the cause of it! Without thinking it twice, Agatha runs out of the compartment, makes a few people who I doubt are assassins scream, and returns to get dressed because she’s very fed up about parading around wearing a towel. Well, even if she didn’t feel shame she’d have needed to return anyway, yeah? It’s snowing out there.

Nothing weird? I beg to differ. I have a hard time believing an obstacle in a journey is a simple coincidence that could have happened to anyone. The hard part is guessing what’s causing this. Monsters? A spark? Someone aligned with Tweedle or with Gil? A random third party? And last but therefore the least likely choice: nature?

To the very dedicated monks of this railway, the thought of arriving late is a blasphemy. One of the monks yells at Agatha and gets chastised for it, thanks to Dimo’s intervention. Agatha isn’t pleased Dimo is here, but hey, I don’t think that’s bad! Another competent ally here would be really useful! Besides, Jagers are welcome on the train, presumably without passing through the confessionary. Now that this is all settled, time to return inside and have some more drinks! And wait. It’ll be a peaceful night, waiting for the tracks to get cleared.

As if.

No, they don’t need their help to shovel the avalanche away, that can be taken care of with a blast of a machine integrated into the train. No surprise the train has something like that because this is a world of MAD SCIENCE. What Agatha and team will have to deal with is behind the avalanche. Perhaps it’ll be what caused it in the first place?

The problem isn’t the big hole that’s going to make the spark engineers who work in this train start devising machines that’ll get it to the other side. The problem are two unidentified things at the bottom of this chasm, fighting, and everyone wants to stick around and watch. I thought arriving late to the next destination was unthinkable, what are we standing here around for?

Ah, there’s the reason. They’re stuck, and not because they can’t go back the way they came from. Well, they can, but it’s not advisable.

Disturbances...I have to wonder if it’s all because of Agatha. I’m not sure, though. Right now there are two groups that are looking to capture Agatha for their own plans, but neither of them knew Agatha was on this train – unless they found out in the last half an hour or something, but there are way too many disturbances for that to be what’s going on. There has to be something else going on.

Agatha gets distracted at the thought of doing some MAD SCIENCE to create rails to go forward, since that’s the only feasible option, so Dimo is now in charge of making the smart questions here. Like...if the bridge was broken to force them to stop, then why are they busy fighting down there instead of coming to attack or kill them? I can think of a reason: maybe one of whatever’s fighting down in that hole is on Agatha’s side. Pretty unlikely, though, because...if Agatha’s enemies didn’t know she was on that train, why would Agatha’s allies know unless she told them?

Perhaps it’s Wooster’s work? Has he done something useful for once?

Krosp intervenes to accuse the monks of not doing everything they can to get out of here. Turns out there’s an option they could use but they refuse to use.

That depot is a place nobody is allowed to go to. Krosp tells him Agatha will deal with that and it’ll be aaaaall this volume’s plot – possibly. The monk disagrees with the notion of dragging the railway into a Girl Genius novel, saying it’s precisely because of Agatha they have even less of a reason to go there. That’s quite telling...

Either whatever’s going on there aims to kill Agatha and/or any Heterodynes, or it’s something Agatha and/or the Heterodynes would find very useful and could potentially cause havoc all over Europe. I’m not sure which one is more likely. Maybe the former, because...well, the Heterodynes must have tons of enemies.

I’m pretty sure they’ll have to go there...but that’s delayed a bit when the fight in the chasm stops, one of the fighters rising and revealing themselves.

I have so many questions and opinions, among them ‘how the heck did the Foglios think of this’. I don’t see any emblems anywhere in this...musical mess, so it’s a third-party person, possibly by himself and unaligned with anyone introduced in Girl Genius.

Nevermind, he’s with Tweedle’s group, but he’s not looking for Agatha, he’s looking for Margolotta Selnikov. Okay, what’s her name? She was introduced first as Margarella, but everyone is calling her Margolotta. This name isn’t as complicated as Seffie’s, I wonder why they’re having difficulty deciding how it’s like.

Turns out the other thing fighting is some sort of large clank suit, much larger than the one-man-band that appeared here. This thing is also on the side of Tweedle. Why are they fighting, I wonder? Perhaps Tweedle isn’t the only one looking for Margarelotta? Oh well. By virtue of being under the protection of Agatha, our protagonist is now involved in this, or will be once she’s told what’s going on.

Apparently these two know each other and are indeed on the same side...I guess? They’re still fighting and throwing jabs at each other. The one-man-band gets shot with a big laser, so I doubt he survived The count in the big clank suit is scatterbrained and almost forgets he was about to threaten and coerce Dimo and Krosp so the target is brought here.

Ah, finally some answers as to why there are assassins pursuing that woman!

So she stole a book and a key...they must be quite important if they need to pursue her. I’m not sure if Margarelotta should be interrogated about what that book and that key is all about, but it could be important, if only because Tweedle wants them back, and since Agatha and Tweedle are enemies...it could be good to know.

I’m stopping for now because it’s time for Agatha’s arrival into scene!

Next time: next update

#girl genius #girl genius liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

[hydrus]

Version 435

windows

zip

exe

macOS

NEW app

OLD app

linux

tar.gz

I had a good week. I continued last week's server work and have a macOS Big Sur build available for testing.

new macOS build

This was delayed far longer than I wanted, but I think I have it figured out now. Thanks to work from Suika and ReAnzu on github figuring out the script, the macOS build is now put together on github itself, on Catalina. This new build thus works on Big Sur, and should generally have less compatibility jank on any newer macOS machine. I have included my old 10.12-built release as well today, just in case I messed something up, but if you are a macOS person, please give the new one a try and let me know how you get on.

Assuming this works out ok for the majority of people, I'll be moving to it as the official macOS build. Anyone who is still on an old macOS will have to run from source to stay updated with hydrus. The new release is just out of testing, so I'll clean up the filename and add the readme.rtf and so on so it looks prettier. I will also explore reducing the size (300MB vs 137MB wew), but I am told this may be unavoidable due to some new macOS thing that bundles both old and new versions of libraries in the App.

editable repository update periods

Just in case, it is probably a good idea to back up your server before you try this!

Hydrus repositories now have an editable update period! This was an oft-requested feature for users running a server on a LAN or between just a few friends, so if this is you, please give it a go. There is a new 'edit options' permission for accounts, which any account with 'manage account types' (admins basically) will inherit on update. If you have this, the 'admin services' menu will have a new 'edit update period' entry, which launches a simple time delta widget where you can change it.

Changes occur immediately. The server will create any updates that are now due, and your client will do a resync to keep up to date with the new numbers, so if you have 'review services' open when you make the change, you should see everything update in realtime. Other clients that sync with the server will catch up with the new check times when they next do their normal sync, unless they too force a resync with the new 'review services' button I added last week.

You can change the update several times, up or down, and it shouldn't be a big deal--the client no longer cares if one set of updates were short or long--so please feel free to play around with this a bit, just don't go crazy with super short or long times. The minimum is 10 minutes, but I recommend you only go down to about 60 minutes if you really want to be that fast, at least as we experiment with this. The system was originally built with 100,000 seconds in mind, so I think super short periods will add overhead bloat over time (not to mention, you only see content after processing, which atm only happens in idle time anyway).

the rest

I had another go at multi column list 'last column' resizing. Dialogs shouldn't judder around so much when you resize them, and more instances of dialogs growing or shrinking slightly on the every re-open ''should'' be mitigated.

Tag upload to a repository has a new safety check for a particular error state. I know one user got stuck with some pending mappings that wouldn't clear--in fact it lead to an endless cycle of uploading!--which is now caught, and a new maintenance routine can fix it.

The Client API's file search now converts tags with asterisks into wildcard or 'namespace' search terms. Its version is now 16. Also added to the Client API help page is a link to https://ififfy.github.io/flipflip/#/ , an advanced slideshow engine that now supports hydrus as a source.

full list

misc:

a new macOS build that should run on Big Sur is now ready, it should be attached to this release. it is built on github automatically, and is thanks to hard work from Suika and ReAnzu. I am attaching my old release as well, just in case I messed up somewhere on my end. if you are a macOS user, please try the new App! it will not work on very old macOS like 10.12, but if this works out today for the majority of macOS users, I will be moving to just putting this new build out going forward. I'll add some polish like the readme.rtf and harmonise the filename etc.. too. I'd love to cut the filesize down, but this may not be possible (it is apparently some modern macOS thing where it bundles old and new versions of libraries in the same App so you basically get it twice)

the bottom-right corner of the regular media viewer canvas now also shows media zoom

the StringSorter object now has a simple 'reverse' sort type

the infamous multi-column list 'last column' width calculations are improved: first, dialogs with multi-column lists should no longer judder back and forth a single character's width as you expand the parent window. also, the last column saved size (which is used in dialog relaunch width initialisation) is now snapped to rounded 5-character intervals, which should mitigate various 'fuzzy' reasons for some dialogs to remember a larger or smaller size and grow or shrink one or more characters' width on the next launch

the _help->debug->gui actions_ menu has a new entry to reset all multi-column list saved widths back to default

the 'edit OR predicate' panel when you shift+double-click an OR predicate now expands horizontally and vertically with the window

the 'edit search predicates' list in the 'edit favourite search' panel now expands vertically with the window

the client now detects some invalid tag mapping states on tag upload--when a mapping is both current & pending or when it is both deleted and petitioned. these pair-states are mutually exclusive, normally impossible to get to, but one user who nonetheless ended up in this situation encountered an infinite uploading loop to a tag repository (since the tag was already current/deleted, the pending/petitioned status was not clearing correctly on upload commit). now, the upload will be abandoned and an info message put up with the fix

added a new maintenance routine to _database->check and repair_ that fixes logically inconsistent mappings. it has a popup dialog when it works and forces a pending count refresh and shows a summary afterwards

the routine that counts up total current or pending mappings on a service when the cached number has been reset is now massively faster (from a 30-60s down to less than a second in my dev tests). it now sums the tag autocomplete cache, rather than counting raw tables

fixed the BUGFIX option in 'connections' that allows you to disable ssl verification. this will also be extended at a later date to be domain-specific

.

new server stuff:

a new permission is added to hydrus service accounts--'manage options'. any account with 'manage account types' will get this by default on update

any account on a repository with 'manage options' permission will now see 'change update period' in the admin services menu! it launches a time delta control with the current update period and will send the new one up to the server. the client will resync account, options, and metadata immediately, and the server will generate any now-due updates immediately, so you should be able to watch changes occur in 'review services' and the server terminal live. other users will catch up to the new time when they next hit an update. various hardcoded check periods (like how often due updates are checked for and delay-buffered clientside and serverside) are shrunk significantly. the whole system should react to changes better

the minimum settable update time is now 10 minutes (the default value remains 100,000 seconds), but I recommend you try larger, say an hour minimum, at least to start. the network generally works more efficiently with higher numbers, and be warned, if you are adding 144 updates a day, there may be bloat problems after a year

let me know how this goes, whether you are running a server on a LAN or just a regular user running on one who gets a new update time!

the new 'full metadata resync' routine now triggers an immediate metadata update sync and wakes the daemon involved, so it should now happen as you watch

fixed the new pause/play buttons on review services to use neutral pause/play icons, not the downloader pause/play

brushed up metadata sync status string on review services

cleaned misc server and network code

cleaned up some old clientside service code

the client api now supports wildcard and namespace tags in the file search call

client api version is now 16

added https://ififfy.github.io/flipflip/#/ , a slideshow engine that now supports hydrus as a source, to the client api page

next week

I have unavoidable IRL next week (jury duty), so I can't do the release on Wednesday. I will put a smaller one out on Tuesday!

I will hammer away at some small issues and plan out multiple local file services.

#release

[cosmosogler]

hi guys it is 10:46. i was busy until literally right now. rest in spaghetti, zero regretti. well, maybe some regretti.

anyway, nonsense aside, i woke up kinda late... i didn’t want to get up when my alarm went off. i went to bed kinda late last night due to my feelings adventure. 

i guess i had a dream where i was kind of struggling with gender and maybe the kind of family i would have wanted to have. i didn’t like being a boy at all as usual. looking at myself was like “nope. no good.” 

i can’t quiiite remember enough about the actual plot to say why it was about the family i would have wanted to have as a kid. i just have a strong feeling. and nothing to say about it. ha ha, joke’s on you! you don’t have to read five extra paragraphs.

anyway i lounged around at home for a long time. i had woken up at 8 but i didn’t leave for the department until 10:15 ish. i got there at 10:30 even though i had been riding my bike in a skirt and that was awkward. 

i was wearing shorts underneath so that wasn’t a problem, i just felt like something was going to snag on the wheel i guess.

i sat at my desk and worked until 11-ish when keegan showed up. he looked kinda weird today... not sure how to describe it. he collected most of us to head over to the homecoming parade. it was a “fun group activity” he had put a lot of effort into planning. by which i mean he asked in the groupme last night and soham was like “yes count me in” and then a couple others were all “yeah ok.” 

suzanne said it was friday and she was having a game night with her family so she’d have to work all day. i forgot it was friday. it feels like saturday part 1.

so we went to the parade! i had a lot of fun. we were there for like two hours though and when we finally got moving again to go back to the department my knees and ankles were stiff and swollen. 

turns out keegan wanted to go to the parade to see his girlfriend march and just didn’t want to go alone because that would be weird. we ran into his girlfriend’s parents there too. they seemed to like us a lot. they seem like very pleasant people.

when the fire brigade passed by i shouted “yeah, fire rescue!!!” and clapped and my classmates turned to stare at me. jennica had her hand over her mouth. 

“what?” i said.

“that sounded... REALLY sarcastic,” jennica finally said. 

so i did that every time something cool passed by. eventually they stopped flinching. after like seven instances.

also at one point during the conversation jennica got all up in my face and i kind of laughed unhappily and then harrison did it and i punched him in the face. i didn’t tolerate it any more.

not hard. but i told him i’d sock him for real next time. 

anyway after that soham and jennica and harrison and keegan and i went to the student union for some lunch. yannis (it is his nickname. it is pronounced the same way as his formal name.) went to get his backpack from home. then soham and jennica left when we got to the union even though soham was the one who wanted to go there. then keegan and harrison changed their minds but went inside with me. i was the only one who got food. i got a peanut butter smoothie.

then after that i got back to work! it was about 2:30. i got all the way through the classical homework except for the second half of the last problem. and i did a quantum problem, and i arranged to talk with adamya and suzanne about e&m later after we’ve spent some more time studying. adamya is an upper classman but he was helping suzanne out with grad e&m. 

i talked out a classical problem with suzanne that jennica actually figured out later. i had the right idea but couldn’t figure out the right combination of substitutions. jennica realized that the professor had replaced the mass in his equation with a derivative, which is... not... the usual thing to do? we couldn’t figure out why the professor did that in his solution. she kind of had to reverse engineer it. suzanne said that the solutions aren’t really solutions so much as using confusing unexplained techniques to get an answer very quickly. 

at... 6:40? i came home. i took out the trash and tried to cool off. it was almost 90 today all day. 

i was going to make dinner at 7:20 but gilbert wanted to talk about politics and despair a little bit so i didn’t cook anything until 7:45. i had wanted to make tempeh chili or maybe mac and cheese but i didn’t wash my dishes!!!!!!!!!!!! so i had to make one of my microwave meals.

i screwed around until 9:10 or so, after i usually check for comic updates. then i got to business. i dug up suzanne’s class notes, which we had finally gotten to me in a readable format, and caught up on the class stuff... one of the lectures was actually exactly what i had needed in the quantum problem i did today and i would have figured it out a lot faster if i had the notes beforehand haha. oh well. good to see it twice at least.

then i organized my schedule and identified 5 important urgent tasks i need to complete tomorrow and then a bunch of optional important ones i can knock out on sunday. i don’t anticipate having any time tomorrow for anything but the five things after i get my groceries and stuff. i’d like to wash my bedding but i don’t think that will happen unless i’m super quick about it first thing in the morning.

and then i made some notes on stuff i need to tell the psychiatrist when i see her on thursday. she wants to know basically my life story... so i tried to put everything i should talk about in order so i can give a coherent continuous story instead of jumping around as i think of things. it’ll be quicker and easier that way. i might have a little more time to study for the e&m test on friday.

i dropped everything on my to-do list that isn’t either completely necessary or something that the grad coordinator highly recommended i do as soon as possible. like revisit basic calculus and get a solid idea in my head of the purpose of each operation to make it easier to derive or inspect equations i need when i get confused during tests.

i also read and revised my notes in classical... i had to kind of bite the bullet and ask harrison for help on a really basic question. i understood it a lot better after i articulated to him exactly what it was i didn’t get about the concept. because when i just asked “what does this mean” he crossed out the like terms and looked at me like it was a fraction problem when it was not about fractions. when he described it as a matrix though i caught on pretty fast.

learning how different classmates describe concepts and figuring out who to go to for which help and how to ask each of them for that help is a long process.

so now it is 11:15, which is not obnoxiously late, but it is later than i’d like to continue staying up night after night. 

i think i’ve got a handle on tomorrow... it’ll be busy but i just gotta try not to screw around in the morning. i want to wash my bedsheets, and swim for a little bit, and make a solid breakfast, and then clean snoopy’s water bowl, and then get the groceries, and then put everything away and get over to campus maybe right after lunchtime to work on homework and studying. and hopefully a little grading... i’ve been avoiding it. it’s stressing me out. the lab reports are so heavy this time. they are twice as long as anything i’ve graded so far. i keep thinking if i start i’ll have to pull an all nighter... but really if i DON’T start i’ll have to pull an all nighter the night before my midterm. 

jennica said she was behind on grading though so maybe i will get some forgiveness if i don’t quite have it done this week. that will leave me with even more grading to do though and my quantum midterm is the week after next... 

no. gotta stay on top of it.

ok something positive about me. i did get all the way through my classical problem for the day, so i only have half a problem to do tomorrow instead of the whole 15-hour assignment. and i know how to do that problem! and i did a quantum problem, so that is on schedule. AND i even had the energy to study for an hour somewhere in there! and i had fun at the parade, which let me be outside for two and a half hours. i only got really tired and burnt out in the last 15 minutes we were there and when i asked to leave everyone agreed. so that was nice.

so i guess... the thing today was asking for help and getting it? between the parade and adamya and harrison i got a lot of things i wanted. and by things i mean “rest” and “questions answered.” as long as i hold on to the knowledge that it’s better to ask dumb questions you genuinely don’t get than to not ask them it might be easier to do that kind of thing every day instead of just when i feel kind of panicked. and friday was a way better time to ask a basic question than, like, monday night. 

oh and taylor asked how to log in to the classical solutions server and i cut in with an answer before soham. then i said “i got the fastest draw in the west soham there ain’t enough room in this chat for the both of us.” i got a couple likes for that.

i think... i think i did pretty good today. i also have to do good tomorrow. hopefully that will leave sunday and monday to be more cleanup days than cramming days.

[eachainn]

Strange Capers (Geass Valentines’s Day Gift)

Author’s Note: For @happinesssdeceit, for the prompt: “To the students of Ashford Academy (and thanks to Sayoko's dedicated efforts), Lelouch is one smooth flirt who's managed to fill up his schedule with dates with all sorts of students. Lelouch can't cancel these arrangements, and so Suzaku tags along to conveniently crash the dates. You know, to make it less awkward.” I went with something more canon based than fluff based, but I hope you enjoy it. (Also on AO3.)

“We that are true lovers run into strange capers; but as all is mortal in nature, so is all nature in love mortal in folly.” - As You Like It, William Shakespeare

Suzaku stared at the worksheets in front of him, trying to get his mind to focus enough for him to do the work. He attempted to make the English words make sense before pushing it away with a groan. He didn’t think his mind could handle working through Britannian literature, not when it kept drifting back to his other duties at the administrative building. There were many that needed his attention, like keeping up with the difficulties that came with helping Nunnally run Area 11 with the Black Knights still active and keeping up with the OSI unit that was stationed at Ashford to keep an eye on Lelouch. It didn’t matter that most of the reports that they were coming in that said that Lelouch hadn’t taken a wrong step, something in Suzaku’s gut told him that he was missing something.

He absently tapped his pencil against the desk, glad that he was the only one currently in the classroom. Someone would have been bound to tell him to stop or ask him what was bothering him. There had been many students who had reversed their opinion of him as soon as he had gotten his title, but they were easy enough to ignore, simply because he wasn’t in school that often. His duties to the government and the Black Knights kept him busy.

He closed his fingers around his pencil, stopping himself short of snapping the pencil in half. The reports might say that Lelouch was at Ashford, living out the life that the emperor had embedded in his brain, but Suzaku knew that it was wrong. This wasn’t some copycat, this was Zero. The same Zero he knew almost as well as he knew himself. A fake Zero wouldn’t have been able to pull off the schemes he had seen in the Chinese Federation or have that kind of loyalty from the rest of his organization. Not unless he came from within the organization.

Suzaku groaned and pressed his face into his arms, trying to stop the way his mind was churning in circles. It was always like this when he tried to stay a step ahead of Zero’s plans. Guildford said that there was no point in chasing after all of the possibilities, their focus was better when it was more pointed. After all, Zero tended to go after the same targets with a singular intent. It was better to focus on that, or it would be if Suzaku didn’t know Zero so well. After all, no one had expected Zero to exile everyone at the second Special Administrative Zone.

He lifted his head, staring at the blank chalkboard. He had come to Ashford to try to focus on the work that he was falling behind on, but maybe it hadn’t been the best idea. It might have meant that he was away from the rush of the administrative building and the temptation to go down to the cells and talk to Kallen, but it put him closer to Lelouch, which meant closer to Zero.

Suzaku glanced over at his bag, staring at the front pocket. It was very tempting to pick up his phone and call the OSI office that was watching Lelouch. It would get him the information that he needed to know and it wouldn’t be as strained as a visit to the clubhouse. Lelouch would probably put on a good act, but he was sure that Rolo wouldn’t bother to hide his disdain. Suzaku didn’t know what he had done to the boy, but apparently existing was enough.

He ruffled a hand through his hair, pausing halfway through the motion to look out the window. The classroom was facing the wrong way for him to see the Clubhouse, and maybe that was for the best.

The OSI would inform him if Lelouch went too far off his expected schedule, not that it helped settle him in the light of everything that had been going on. Still, there was every chance that they were right to not inform him, because Lelouch wasn’t doing anything outside of the norm. Maybe he was just looking for an excuse not to do the homework that had piled up since he had gone to the Chinese Federation. It was just as likely, considering the long list of assignments he had to work through.

Suzaku glanced over at the list, looking at the two check marks on things that were done before reaching for his bag. He could continue to work on it later, just as soon as he settled the issue of Lelouch. He just needed to hear that Lelouch had been at Ashford the entire time, and not in the Chinese Federation like he suspected.

He fumbled for his phone, having to practically empty the bag of papers and books to extract it. He quickly shifted in his chair to keep the lopsided pile of books and notebooks from sliding off the desk, bracing them up as he searched for the number of the OSI office on campus. Suzaku dialed the number, hooking the phone over his ear as it rung. The line continued to ring, Suzaku carefully repacking his things, pausing once he was done.

It was strange that the call was taking so long to go through, they were usually more prompt. Suzaku curled his fingers around the spine of a book, holding his breath as he waited for the dial tone to stop.

He breathed out quickly when he heard the phone get picked up, listening to the soft babble of voices in the background before the person on the line spoke. “Sir Kururugi? Is this an emergency?”

Suzaku winced at the question. Of course the office would be worried if they got a call from the Knight of Seven right out of the blue. The routine checks had already been done for the start of the week, and they were never by him, he just got the reports and there had been nothing startling about them.

He cleared his throat, picking at the corner of his worksheet as he spoke. “It isn’t. But I’m on campus and considering checking in on Lelouch. I wanted to know about any updates.”

Silence took over the line again. Suzaku tensed, levering himself up from his chair as the silence went on. In his experience, silence was never good. It meant that something was on the verge of going wrong.

He fumbled for the rest of his belongings, shoving them quickly into his bag. He heard paper crinkle but he ignored it, the safety of Area 11 and Nunnally was slightly more important than homework that he suspected that he would fail anyway.

He slung the back over his shoulder, about to run out of the classroom when the man on the line spoke up again. “That will be difficult considering he’s not on campus.”

“What?”

“Exactly what I said. Lelouch is off campus and has been for the majority of the day, but under surveillance, as ordered.”

There was a bit of a sneer in the man’s voice, but that was something that could be easily ignored. He was far too used to the bit of disrespect that people spoke to him with to care. He had more important things to do than throw his title around.

Suzaku closed his eyes and leaned against the bank of lockers, feeling his pounding heart start to slow down. Everything was fine, Lelouch was still under surveillance, which meant that they were safe for the moment. He took a deep breath, hoping that the unease that had been dogging him would just melt away, but it didn’t. He had spent the majority of the year watching Lelouch suspiciously, waiting for a break in the geass command that the emperor had put on him. The habit was hard to break.

He opened his eyes to look back out at the empty hallway. There was no point arguing with himself over a decision that he had already made. “Where is he?”

“Uh…” Frantic clicking filled the background, Suzaku tipping his head slightly at the sound. The office had said that Lelouch was under surveillance but it was taking them a while to find exactly where he was. Suzaku was about to call them on it when the man made spoke again. “If you leave now, you should be able to reach him before he finishes his date in the park.”

“Date?”

“Yes. It was a new addition to his schedule but it wasn’t strange enough to consider reporting. He is a high school boy after all.”

Suzaku frowned, well aware that the man couldn’t see him. Lelouch might have been a high school boy, but he rarely acted according to the norm. Lelouch never seemed to have time for some of the things that other teenagers did. He preferred to stay at home and plan for ways to disrupt the tentative peace that was working for Area 11. Suzaku shook his head, pushing the thought out of his mind. He wouldn’t put it past Lelouch to alter his behavior to hide something, so it was worth his while to find out what Lelouch was actually doing.

He reached up to adjust his phone on his ear, stepping out into the hallway. “Fine. Which park?”

There was more typing on the other end, Suzaku rolling his eyes. They were obviously just trying to waste his time and it wasn’t something that could be avoided. He had no authority over the OSI, so he couldn’t demand that they were all immediately replaced for their laxity, they were all the emperor’s men. He was just grateful that he was allowed to ask for information whenever the worry overtook him. He couldn’t bring himself to be complacent, not after everything that had happened, not after Euphy. Because of that, he would allow himself the indulgence. Even if Lelouch wasn’t doing anything it was better to check than to blithely assume everything was alright and walk into another massacre.

18:02 Verena Ramsey Dinner in the park

Lelouch blinked rapidly, startling himself out of the half doze that he had fallen into again. He glanced around the park, watching as the few families that were still in the area started to head home. A few couples lingered behind, which meant the two of them didn’t stand out. Lelouch sighed and looked down at the cup of tea that he held in his hands, surprised that he hadn’t managed to dump it into his lap. He was sure that he’d been on the edge of falling asleep completely.

No matter what Sayoko said and what his past sleep schedule had been, three hours was not enough sleep, not when he was meant to be running all over the Tokyo Settlement and to the Chinese Federation.

He sipped at the tea, not tasting it much. His tongue was probably numb to any tea with the number of times that he’d had it today. And he’d probably have it again if he remembered his schedule right. Then again, it got a little fuzzy after Verena, the information all jumbled up with the next big problem to tackle for the Black Knights and the Chinese Federation.

It took more than he wanted to admit not to grimace at the thought. Verena had been talking steadily about classical literature since he had expressed an interest. Her knowledge of Latin had been impressive, almost enough for him to pay more attention, save for the fact that he was constantly trying to remember just what Sayoko had gotten him into and trying not to fall asleep.

Lelouch nodded like he had been following along, relieved when Verena didn’t seem to notice. She was too into her discussion of the philosophies of Plato versus Aristotle. From some of the examples she was using, it was a subject that she knew more about than him.

He glanced around again, taking care to return his attention to her every once and a while to nod and smile at her. That seemed to be enough, which meant that his attention was free to wander, or drift away entirely. His gaze slid over one of the CCTV cameras, just barely stopping himself from giving it a nod. He couldn’t give himself away like that. Lelouch Lamperouge wasn’t supposed to be nothing more than a normal high school boy, albeit one who had gotten very lucky. Unfortunately lucky.

Unfortunately lucky enough to have to talk to Sayoko again for a way to get out of this sort of thing happening again. If he was going to be relying on her to stand in for him in the future, then this sort of thing could not happen again. He wouldn’t be able to go through another day like this, especially not when he was still trying to figure out how to graciously bow his way out of the rest of the dates that had been set up for him. If there had been a chance that he would have never seen any of the girls again he would have just skipped the dates entirely, but they were all Ashford girls and, therefore, impossible to escape.

He sighed, quickly hiding the sound in the act of breathing over his tea to cool it. A quick glance up at Verena showed that she was smiling, seeming to understand even as she took a break in her explanation. Lelouch gave her what he hoped was an encouraging nod to continue. It was far better to listen to Verena talk than to have a girl pushing at him to talk. Lelouch didn’t trust himself, at least not enough to carry on a conversation. It was better to save himself for figuring out a way to get out of the rest of the dates and the inevitable talking that would happen when he moved to his next date.

Lelouch took another sip of tea, looking out at the park again. He nearly choked on the tea as he spotted a familiar figure moving towards them. He curled his fingers into the cup, staring as Suzaku walked through the park.

There were few reasons for the Knight of Seven to be there, save for him, which meant that his appearance was not a coincidence.

Lelouch ran through everything that he had been doing over the past few days that could have alerted Suzaku to something interesting enough to investigate himself. He was sure that the OSI officers were all geassed to put forward an unremarkable report with very little variation. Villetta Nu had been blackmailed into silence and Rolo was firmly on his side. Aside from her overzealousness, Sayoko had performed admirably…

He cursed, flinching when Verena’s steady stream of conversation stopped. Lelouch turned to apologize to her, but it was too late to try and salvage the situation.

She narrowed her eyes, looking down the path before sitting back. “Is that…Sir Kururugi? What’s he doing here?”

“That’s what I was wondering.”

Verena hummed, Lelouch sure that she would turn back to her tea and the conversation. That would at least give him the time to figure out what Suzaku was doing there and how to avoid him. If he was lucky, then maybe Suzaku would just ignore him outright and keep going. After all, a Knight of the Round was bound to be busy. And, just maybe, Suzaku remembered enough of their past friendship to stick close to Nunnally and protect her.

He rolled his shoulders forward, trying to hunch over to avoid detection. He glanced up at Verena to see if she got the hint, his stomach dropping when he saw her shrug and call out to him. “Hey, S-Suzaku?”

Lelouch turned to look over his shoulder, his eyes widening as he saw Suzaku come to a halt. For a breathless moment, he thought that Suzaku would just keep walking and leave the two of them alone. But Verena shouted again and waved. Lelouch flinched, scooting closer to Verena.

“What are you doing?”

Verena didn’t seem to pick up on his annoyed tone of voice because she was still beckoning for Suzaku to come over. “I want to talk to him. It’s not every day you meet a Knight of the Rounds.”

“You can do that back at school.”

“He’s never there. And he isn’t in any of my classes.” Verena lowered her hand, shooting him a look that Lelouch couldn’t read. The corner of her mouth twitched up, Verena leaning back on her hands. “And I thought you wouldn’t mind. You did agree to dates with everyone else in school. Are you jealous?”

“No.” He snapped the word out, dropping his gaze to the blanket. He stared into his tea as he heard Suzaku approach, listening to Verena try to engage him in conversation. Suzaku’s replies were stilted, probably because he was too busy focusing on Lelouch, waiting for a slip up that would show that he was Zero. It was a careful balancing act that was difficult to maintain on the best of days, Lelouch always had to watch what he said in case he let something slip in that he shouldn’t remember, but it would be impossible on a day like today. He was already feeling harried with the pressure of an impossible schedule to keep.

He drummed his fingers against the cup he was holding, stopping when he realized that both Verena and Suzaku had stopped talking. Lelouch jerked his head up, staring at Suzaku.

As always, there was a moment when Suzaku forgot what had been done. That Suzaku forgot that he had betrayed him in the worst way possible and that everything Suzaku hated him for was gone. Then came the anger and hatred that bubbled close to the surface before Suzaku managed to bottle it up and shove it away. Then the fake smile was back, and Lelouch couldn’t imagine how he had ever mistaken it for Suzaku’s real smile.

He cleared his throat and sat up straight, giving Suzaku a curt nod. “Suzaku.”

“Hey.” Suzaku nodded at him, sounding slightly out of breath. “I was wondering where you were.”

“Really?”

Suzaku nodded, playing with the strap of his bag. “I swung by the Clubhouse earlier. Rolo said you were out.”

Lelouch filed the information away for later. It sounded like Suzaku had been checking up on him, which meant that he would have to double check his contingency plans. He was sure of his geass on the officers in the basement of the school and of Rolo, but Villetta was still operating on her own, which was dangerous. And there was no reason for Suzaku to tell him the whole truth, not with Verena there.

He glanced back over at Verena, watching as she laughed. The sound was fake, although Lelouch couldn’t pinpoint why. She could either be trying to move the conversation on or trying to figure out how she could call Suzaku’s attention back to her. After all, no one could resist a Knight of the Round, especially when they were open for doing favors. Lelouch hadn’t looked too closely into the girls that he was going on dates with, another grave oversight.

Lelouch set his cup back down in its saucer, making sure to smile as Suzaku as he sat back. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. You don’t come around as often anymore.”

Suzaku visibly twitched at that, his hand clenching on his bag’s strap. “I’ve been busy.”

“With your promotion, I know.” It was harder than Lelouch expected to make it sound real, not that he thought Suzaku would be able to ferret out the difference. Still, it didn’t hurt to be careful in case Suzaku was still suspicious. “Still, it would be nice to have you over for dinner, for old time’s sake.”

“I’ll check my schedule.”

Lelouch sighed at the easy out that he was given. He was about to start hinting that Suzaku should leave when Verena gathered up their trash. He shot her a shocked look, sure that she misinterpreted it because she smiled at him and held up one finger. “I’m not ditching you. I fought hard to get this spot.”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder before walking off towards the nearest trashcan. Lelouch watched her go, keeping the slightly confused smile on his face until she was focused on searching for her goal. Then he left the expression slide off his face, reaching up to rub at his eyes in the hopes that it would keep him awake.

He paused in the middle of the motion as he heard Suzaku laugh, glancing over at Suzaku from underneath his fingers. Suzaku didn’t seem to notice his attention, because he chuckled to himself and shook his head. It was only when he glanced over at that he seemed to realize that Lelouch was looking at him.

Suzaku shifted in place, obviously uncomfortable about being left alone with him. Lelouch wished that he could allow some of his frustration to come out. Maybe if he snapped at Suzaku that would be enough to get the knight to leave, but that might reveal too much. Besides, telling Suzaku to leave would just leave him with his original problem, which were a series of dates that carried on until nearly three in the morning. Lelouch stifled a groan, glancing back at where Verena was making her way over to the trash can.

Not matter how surprising and suspicious it had been to see Suzaku in the park, at least it meant that Verena’s attention wasn’t on him. And, maybe, it would be enough to finish the date faster. Lelouch couldn’t think of one girl that would like their date being crashed by another person, especially if they were being made a third wheel. That perhaps might be enough to clear up his schedule faster and more cleanly than ditching the girls. Everyone at school knew that he and Suzaku were friends, so no one would think twice about the two of them hanging out with each other, especially when Suzaku had been so busy.

Lelouch checked back on Verena’s progress before turning to look at Suzaku. It took Suzaku a moment to look back at him but, when he did, it was with the disproval that Lelouch was getting used to seeing him with. It was practically second nature to bristle and be ready to snap at him, but Lelouch reined himself in. Getting mad at Suzaku while asking for a favor would be useless, because he would just drive Suzaku off. And, unless he wanted to suffer at school because every girl was mad at him, he needed Suzaku’s help. That and he couldn’t ignore the annoying part of him that still saw Suzaku as his friend even as another part called him a traitor.

Suzaku shook his head, taking a step back. Lelouch idly measured out the distance even as Suzaku spoke. “When Rolo said you were out on a date, I expected to see Shirley. How’s it going?”

“Terrible.” It was worth it to see Suzaku start, like he wasn’t expecting the answer. Lelouch sighed and leaned back on his hands, tracking the progress of a few of the couples through the park. “I’ve lost count of how many I’ve been on.”

“How many…What’s going on?”

Lelouch couldn’t bring himself to meet Suzaku’s gaze, not when he didn’t quite know the right excuse himself. Lelouch cleared his throat, taking his time in responding. “I…I was a bit overambitious.”

“Clearly.”

He tipped his head to give Suzaku that point. “I thought that, maybe, if I gave into what they wanted, then I would be free of them. Maybe.”

“And is it working?”

“No.” It hurt less than he thought to admit that. Lelouch sighed and shook his head. “And now I’m stuck, unless I want to run out on the rest of them and deal with their ire for the rest of the year.”

Suzaku hummed, Lelouch fully expecting him to walk away and leave him alone. Instead, Suzaku dropped into a crouch beside him. “How many of these have you got left?”

“I don’t know.” Lelouch dug into his pocket for his phone, quickly scrolling down to the end of the day. He stared at it before tipping it so Suzaku could see. He was quick to pull it away when Suzaku made a sympathetic noise. Lelouch tucked it back into his pocket, looking around warily for Verena. He spotted her making her way back over. Lelouch shifted so he could look at Suzaku. It wasn’t in him to beg, certainly not to Suzaku, but asking couldn’t be that bad. He drummed his fingers against his leg before he shook his head. “But I could use your help.”

He expected the way that Suzaku recoiled, but he didn’t expect Suzaku to stay. Suzaku glanced back at where Verena was coming over, shifting in place. The time for him to leave was getting smaller and smaller. If it was anyone else, Lelouch would have allowed himself to get his hopes up but he was cautious, watching Suzaku’s expression carefully.

Suzaku wasn’t the most subtle person, and it was clear that he was thinking the idea over. Lelouch saw Suzaku’s fingers flex slightly, sure that Suzaku had come to a conclusion. Lelouch was prepared for an outright refusal, not for Suzaku to sit down on the edge of the blanket.

He stared at Suzaku for a moment, but he didn’t get the chance to say anything to Suzaku because Verena came back.

She smiled when she noticed Suzaku, sitting down on her side of the blanket. “I’m glad you can join us.”

“I can spare a little bit of time.”

“Good, because I wanted to ask you…”

Lelouch tuned her out, his mind still racing over what had happened. He had expected arguments, demands and shouting, anything more like the way that they had become. This was something like before, and something unsettling.

He shifted in place, nearly jumping to his feet when he felt Suzaku bump into him. He shot Suzaku a surprised look, annoyed when he didn’t immediately seem to notice. Even then, Suzaku just leaned further into him. Lelouch could only brace himself against the pressure or else he would have ended up on the ground. He settled against Suzaku and tried to ignore how right it felt.

20:00 Miya Hillmick Malory Book and Coffee shop

Miya had heard many rumors about Lelouch, it was part and parcel of Ashford Academy. She ignored most of it, because they were usually ruthless rumors that weren’t in the least bit true. The only ones that she had cared about were the few that were really true, like the ones that said that Lelouch was aloof and didn’t care about any of the girls at school. She could have made an argument for Shirley, but she didn’t think that any of the others would have cared about that. There were plenty of arguments that the others would have thrown back at her.

The only agreed upon rumors that mattered were that Lelouch was aloof and impossible to catch. But that rumor had gone by the wayside.

She sipped at her latte, glancing over at where Lelouch was partially leaning over a book. Somehow that staple rumor of Ashford had crumpled, and she didn’t quite understand how.

Every once and a while one of them would ask Lelouch out, just in the vain hopes that he would change his mind. None of them ever expected anything from them, except maybe Shirley, but Shirley was determined and an eternal optimist. Miya could see the appeal, but she wasn’t in it for the long haul. She’d practically given up on Lelouch and just resigned herself to looking on from afar. There was nothing wrong with looking and dreaming, especially since there had never been any chance of it happening. Except that Rosa Presley had come running into their mathematics class saying that she had gotten a date with Lelouch just by asking. Everyone had said that she was lying until they had all tried.

Miya still didn’t know how she felt about it. Giddy was certainly something, but that was curtailed by the actual date itself.

She should have known better from the rumors, because their date was nothing like he expected. Lelouch was nothing more than a perfect gentleman, but he always felt a little bit removed.

That and his whole focus was on Suzaku.

The two of them were leaning over a book, shoulder-to-shoulder. Lelouch was pointing out something in the book, Miya not sure what they were even talking about.

It had all started when she and Lelouch had walked into the coffee shop and found Suzaku sitting there working on homework. It hadn’t seemed too bad to just stop by and say hello, especially considering that Suzaku was a kind of celebrity at Ashford. It wasn’t every day that a Knight of the Round attended your classes. Besides, the two of them were friends, so it wasn’t strange. What was strange was the way that Lelouch had immediately sat down and started to help Suzaku on what he was working on.

Miya took another drink of her coffee, watching the two of them. It didn’t matter that every once and a while Lelouch would give her an apologetic smile but go right back to work. She wouldn’t have minded as much if she had been folded into the conversation, but she was starting to feel like a third wheel on her own date.

She gave her coffee a rueful glance before looking down at her phone. She had put it on the table when her mother had called her earlier, which had led to the one conversation that she’d had with Lelouch, although that had been more with Suzaku. Lelouch had still been staring at the book.

Miya liked her lips, considering her options. She could nudge her way into the conversation, because it was the same book that they were reading for English and she had liked it. But that almost felt rude, considering the two of them were so in depth in whatever they were discussing. And, with the way that they were leaning into each other, it almost looked like the two of them were on a date.

She swallowed harshly and looked down at her phone again. Her other option was to figure a way out of the date. It wasn’t too early to make it awkward, but it was certainly late enough to bow out because of some other obligation.

Miya shifted so her hand was resting over her phone, discretely tapping it so the screen lit up. She shifted to look at it, noticing that Suzaku was paying attention. She waved him away, lifting her phone and pretending to react to a text. Miya sighed and stood up, giving Lelouch an apologetic smile. “Eliza locked herself out of the room again and security is away helping someone else. I don’t want to cut this short but…”

Lelouch looked up from the book, quick to shut it. She saw a flicker of something that she was sure was regret cross Lelouch’s face before he stepped around to her side of the table. “Let me walk you back.”

She would have agreed readily, but she could see Suzaku packing up and getting ready to move. As much it would have made her the talk of the school to be escorted back by two guys, it wasn’t worth it if she was a third wheel on her own date.

Miya shook her head, tucking her phone into her purse. “I can get back fine myself.” She went to walk away, pausing before she could get too far. Miya looked at the two of them before giving Lelouch a bright smile. “Maybe we could try again another time?”

“Maybe another time.”

That was enough of an answer for her, and it might as well be a no. Whatever had encouraged Lelouch to accept so many dates was gone, and Miya doubted that any of them would ever find out any time soon.

She gave them both a cheery wave before walking out of the coffee shop.

Miya took a deep breath as soon as she was outside, resisting the urge to check her phone. She didn’t know who had a date with Lelouch next, but she didn’t think she should warn them. Suzaku was bound to go back to his duties and someone else would get their chance at Lelouch. Miya just hoped that they wouldn’t get their hopes up too much, because she had a horrible feeling that all the rumors about Lelouch were true.

01:00 Marci Haynes Live Show

“That was great!” Marci looked over at Lelouch, grinning when he save a slight shake of his head.

She hadn’t expected uptight Lelouch Lamperouge to be into rock, but he hadn’t complained the entire time, not even about their place close to the speakers. The most she had gotten were a few strange looks at some of the lyrics and to shake his head on some of the louder songs. He wasn’t the most enthusiastic person that she’d been to a show with, but it was better than no one. And having Lelouch Lamperouge go with her was practically a miracle.

Marci laughed and pulled her jacket on, zipping it up. She shoved her hands into her pockets, looking back over at Lelouch. He still seemed slightly stunned by everything, but at least he had made the effort. There were plenty of guys and girls that Marci had dated that hadn’t bothered once they had heard the music she was interested in. Lelouch was in the low percentage who hadn’t blanched at the sight of the band or their music.

She dropped back to walk beside him, giving him a gentle elbow to his side. Lelouch jumped at the touch, shooting her a startled look. Marci jerked her head back towards the venue. “What did you think?”

“A little outside my realm of experience.” Lelouch pitched his voice a little too loud, but that just made her smile, because it wasn’t a no. He gave a hard shake of his head, probably to clear his ears, not that it would help. “And a little loud.”

“That’s the fun of it.”

The expression on Lelouch’s face said that he didn’t quite agree, but at least he hadn’t tried to explain to her why this went against proper morals or how her taste in music was just pure shit. Then again, she couldn’t imagine Lelouch saying that. He was more likely to talk about the philosophical meaning behind the lyrics. Those she could deal with.

Marci checked her watch, about to suggest a quick stop for drinks when she saw Lelouch stop out of the corner of her eye. She slowed down to look back at Lelouch, surprised to find him staring out in one direction. She was about to ask him who he saw when a smile crossed his face.

She was surprised by the expression because she had only seen it aimed at Rolo, and she doubted that Lelouch’s younger brother would come out to this sort of thing, he seemed far too shy. Marci rocked up onto her toes, scanning the crowd.

She almost missed him the first time. It was only when Lelouch pivoted to face the person that was coming their way that she was able to pick him out.

Marci jammed her hands deeper into her pockets when she saw Suzaku Kururugi jogging over. She looked him up and down before shaking her head. She didn’t know what an Eleven would want around at this hour. Knight of the Round or not, she was sure that there was some kind of curfew on them because of recent events. Besides, she had yet to see any good evidence that Suzaku wasn’t working with the Black Knights in the first place.

She took a step back as Suzaku reached them, looking between him and Lelouch. From the way they were looking at each other, they would want to stop and talk. Rare chance to get Lelouch Lamperouge on a date or not, it wasn’t worth the annoyance of dealing with an Eleven.

Marci cleared her throat loudly, repeating the sound when Lelouch didn’t immediately look at her. She tried her best to give him a steady smile that showed no hint of her annoyance. “I’m actually going to head back now.”

Lelouch nodded, Marci not surprised when he gestured over at Suzaku. “I’m just going to catch up with him.”

“Fine.” Marci shrugged and turned away to walk off.

She rolled her shoulders when she heard Lelouch shout a greeting to Suzaku. At least the show had been good, which was something to think on. Besides, no date was ever perfect. She could settle for great, especially when it was with Lelouch.

01:30 Shirley Fenette Meet at Ashford before going to the botanical gardens for a special night exhibition.

Shirley crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the path up from the Clubhouse. She had hoped that it would help her find Lelouch before he had the chance to sneak off. She wouldn’t put it past him, not after kissing her and then arranging dates with practically every girl on campus. To add insult to injury, he was already late.

She huffed, trying to push some of the tension out of her shoulders. She had been holding it since the afternoon before, when she had heard about Lelouch’s sudden change in personality. It was starting to build into a headache, one that was being made worse by the fact that she was going to be kept waiting.

It wasn’t fair. She was old enough to know that life couldn’t be fair, if it was then it wouldn’t have taken her father away. But she still wanted to scream some part of it to the sky. She’d tried so hard for so long and then Lelouch had finally kissed her, finally done something to acknowledge that he liked her, and then he had gone and agreed to so many dates. If she wasn’t so mad, she would have been seriously worried for him.

The worry would come later, right after the date, if there was a date in the first place.

She drummed her fingers against her arm, feeling something that could have been a growl or a scream building in her throat. “Lulu…”

Shirley glanced back over her shoulder at the Clubhouse, tempted to go and knock on the door. Then again, she was sure that Rolo was asleep and he didn’t deserve to be dragged into this. It wasn’t his fault that his older brother had suddenly decided to be the playboy of the school.

She looked at her watch, promising herself five more minutes before she gave up. The chance for a date with Lelouch wasn’t worth this much suffering.

Shirley took a deep breath, holding it for a count of three before letting it out slowly. There was a box of chocolates that Sophie had given her, peppermint hot chocolate and her favorite romance novel waiting for her back in her room. That would certainly be better than waiting around for a boy who had a horrible track record of remembering dates. At least those wouldn’t give her a headache.

“Shirley!” She looked up as someone called her name, surprised to see Suzaku walking towards her.

She raised her hand to wave at him, tipping her head to the side when she saw the person who was draped over his back. Shirley strode forward, sighing when she got a better look at the person as they passed under a streetlight. Shirley broke into a jog, covering the distance between them.

Suzaku nodded at her, pausing to shift Lelouch on is back. “I was hoping I would find someone. Doors would be difficult with him.”

Shirley sighed, looking at where Lelouch was sleeping with his head down on Suzaku’s shoulder. She had the irrational urge to push Lelouch’s bangs out of his forehead despite how angry she was with him. Instead, she clutched at her dress to keep herself from touching Lelouch. “What happened?”

“According to him, he’s been doing dates since seven this morning.”

“I heard.” She tried to keep her voice from going deadpan, but it was hard, especially when she could calculate the numbers of dates that could have happened in those hours. It was better not to think too hard about them, especially since she’d have to deal with hearing about them all the next day. As far as she knew, the only one that hadn’t gone on a date with Lelouch had been Sophie, but that meant that the only safe place that was in her room, and she couldn’t just stay in her room all the time.

Shirley took a step back to look at Suzaku, giving him a wry look. “Did you have a date with him?”

She expected a laugh, not the look of shock on his face. For a moment, she thought that she had offended Suzaku, something that she didn’t think was possible. Suzaku was generally easy going, but that could have changed since Princess Euphemia. He wasn’t around enough for her to know what changed, but something had to have. Everything that she had seen had made the two of them seem like they were very much in love.

Shirley dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t worry about it.” Suzaku shifted Lelouch on his back before starting back towards the Clubhouse. Shirley fell into step with him, watching Suzaku’s face carefully.

It took longer than normal for the smile to come back to his face, and even then she saw a strain in it that she couldn’t remember seeing before.

They walked in silence for a while before Suzaku took a deep breath. “No, I didn’t. I seems like I missed out though. I don’t know if I regret that or not.”

“Well, he’s five minutes late for our date.”

“Then I don’t regret it.”

Shirley laughed and circled around him to key in the code to the Clubhouse. She extended her arm as soon as the door was open, blocking it from closing as Suzaku carefully maneuvered the two of them inside. Even when Suzaku was inside she didn’t follow. It was strange to go into the Clubhouse after hours without a specific event or an invitation from Lelouch himself. She gave the sleeping student a wry look. She wouldn’t be getting an invitation from him anytime soon which meant that there would be more waiting for her.

She shifted in the doorway, finally giving him a nod. “Will you be alright?”

“I should be.” Suzaku shifted how Lelouch was resting on his back. “Will you?”

Shirley shrugged, sure that he saw through how he was lying. “It’s not the first time.”

“You don’t deserve that.”

“I know.” Shirley reached up to undo the careful style that Sophie had helped her weave into her hair. “But that’s Lelouch for you.”

Suzaku gave a grunt of agreement, glancing back into the Clubhouse before looking back at her. “Do you want someone to walk you back? Or have someone to talk to?”

“No. I can handle this. You’ve got your hands full.” She moved arm from in front of the door, giving Suzaku a nod before turning around and walking off the porch. She thought she heard him start to say something, but it was blocked by the door sliding shut.

She turned around to look at the Clubhouse, taking a few deep breaths. Lelouch wouldn’t wake up for their date and the gardens would probably be closed by the time that they got there. Her only choice was to go back to her dorm and console herself for a chance missed. A mug of hot chocolate and a good talk with Sophie would help. And then, when she saw Lelouch again, she would give him a piece of her mind.

Suzaku sat down on the edge of Lelouch’s bed, carefully unhooking Lelouch’s arms from around his neck before shaking Lelouch off into the bed. Lelouch just made a soft sound and curled up on the bed. Suzaku shook his head, pushing off from the bed.

This hadn’t been the plan while they were walking away from the show. As far as he remembered, Lelouch had agreed to just go through the date with Shirley without any interruptions. At least until he fell asleep on the train back. Then Suzaku had had no option but to carry him back.

It had been very tempting to drag him back to the administrative building and wait for him to wake up there. He’d been able to judge Lelouch’s reaction to everything better there, and he would be caught off guard. But Suzaku was sure that the OSI would complain, which would go right to the emperor. Suzaku was sure that everything would be made more difficult by that. To his disgust, it was easier to just leave Lelouch in place and wait for the OSI to achieve their aims. Then maybe Lelouch would be allowed to stand for his crimes.

Suzaku sighed and rubbed at his shoulder, giving Lelouch one last look before getting up. He had a meeting in the late afternoon, and he needed to be up and prepared for that. He’d done his duty by getting Lelouch back to the Clubhouse and it wouldn’t hurt Lelouch to sleep in his clothes. It was a little inconvenience in the large scheme of things.

Suzaku took a step away from the bed, stopping when he heard a soft sound from the bed. He looked over his shoulder watching as Lelouch propped himself up on his elbows.

Lelouch took a slow look around the room, not seeming to be recognizing anything. It took him a while to work his way over to Suzaku. When he did, the slightly confused look on his face shifted so something more relaxed. Lelouch leaned back, giving Suzaku a sleepy smile. “You didn’t have to walk me home.”

“You fell asleep on the train. I couldn’t leave you there.”

From the sound that Lelouch made, he didn’t quite agree with him. Suzaku was just relieved by that. He didn’t want to listen to convoluted arguments, not when it was so late at night. He didn’t trust himself to hold his tongue in the right places, especially after spending so much time with Lelouch.

It wasn’t the time, per say, but the fact that it had felt good. It had felt like back when they had been friends again, like everything had gone back to normal. For a few hours, he had forgotten about surveillance and Euphy, and it didn’t sit well with him.

He shifted in place, trying to choose between angry words or just a quick goodbye that would allow him to get out of the Clubhouse as soon as possible. He settled for a curt nod, hoping that it would end the conversation.

It didn’t work.

Lelouch pushed himself up so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Quite the gentlemanly move. Not what I’d expect from you.”

“Why? My title not good enough for that?”

Lelouch looked taken aback, almost hurt by the questions. He shook his head, picking at the covers. “I just mean that you weren’t the one for those gestures. It’s different. I almost makes me miss the old you. The one from seven years ago. I miss when we were close. Don’t you?”

It should have been so easy to answer the question, because he knew the answer immediately. This was the man who had called himself his friend while lying to him and taking every step to ruin everything that he worked for. This was the man who had killed Euphy, his own flesh and blood. This was the man he had spent months with in Euro-Britannia, being dismissed as just another Number. Suzaku knew the answer to the marrow of his bones.

“Yes.”

Lelouch gave him a lazy smile, not seeming to notice the horror that Suzaku was sure was crossing his face.

It wasn’t the answer that he had intended, the one that he had hung onto for a year. But that didn’t make it any less true, and that was perhaps worse.

Suzaku shifted in place, more than ready to make some kind of hurried excuse and walk out of the room. He didn’t want to be there anymore, not with the reminder that all of their easy comradery was for show and certainly not when he felt like he was falling for his own lie. Lelouch was a traitor, he had been Zero, and he was probably Zero again despite all the evidence to the contrary. All of that should have sent him running out of the room, but Suzaku found himself leaning closer.

Lelouch smiled, Suzaku recognizing it as one of the ones that Lelouch used when everything was going his way. It made Suzaku want to laugh, especially because he couldn’t tell what Lelouch was looking to accomplish aside from managing to get out of all of his dates, at least for the day. Suzaku had no idea if Lelouch would be running the same schedule tomorrow, and he wouldn’t be around to find out. He had meetings, something far more important than following Lelouch around and intruding on his dates. The Chinese Federation had just fallen apart, and they had to be prepared for everything that would come from that.

He gave Lelouch a curt nod, ready to turn away when Lelouch reached out to grab his wrist. The touch was enough to get him to jerk to a stop, Suzaku staring down at where Lelouch’s fingers were curled around his wrist.

It wasn’t a strong hold, Suzaku was sure that he could pull his arm away without any problem. He doubted that Lelouch could do anything that would hold him in place, but he was staying anyway.

He swallowed and looked back at Lelouch, not prepared for the soft expression on his face. It was something that he had never expected from Lelouch again, in full possession of his memories or not. They were distant now, far more than they had been last year. Suzaku had kept away as much as possible, helped along by his work and Rolo’s general disdain for him and Lelouch hadn’t bothered to close the gap. Or maybe this was Lelouch trying to close the gap. He couldn’t know, not that Lelouch would ever tell him.

Suzaku was about to fumble for some excuse to leave when Lelouch stood up. The motion brought him in close, closer than Suzaku had allowed him since the year before, back when they had both been living their separate lies. It was disconcerting, especially after so long. Suzaku tried to ignore how much he welcomed the closeness after trying to stay away from people, but it was impossible, especially when Lelouch leaned in to give him a light kiss.

It was nothing more than a peck and not even on his lips. The kiss fell against the side of his mouth, feather-light and barely there, but Suzaku was completely aware of it because it was Lelouch.

He turned, almost expecting to catch Lelouch’s lips as he did, but Lelouch was already moving away.

Lelouch toed off his shoes, already sinking back into bed with a wide yawn. It was a pretty obvious dismissal, but Suzaku found himself watching as Lelouch finished yawning.

For a moment, it looked like he had dropped off to sleep. Suzaku sighed, not sure if it was with relief or because he expected more. At least it was a way to excuse himself and hurry back before the two of them stumbled into more things that they would eventually regret.

He walked quickly to the door, pausing with his hand raised to open the door. He almost expected Lelouch to say something else, but there was silence from the bed. Suzaku didn’t know that it was a disappointment or a relief, and he didn’t want to think about it too much. It would just be another distraction, one that he would turn over and over in his head until the next suspicious moment.

Suzaku sighed and rested his hand on the pad, perking up at something that he heard something that sounded like Lelouch talking to him. He turned his head, but Lelouch appeared completely asleep. Suzaku chalked it up to his own imagination, just another thing to file away with the rest of his suspicions about Lelouch. He shrugged and walked out of the room, trying to sneak as quietly as he could through the halls.

Lelouch cracked open an eye as he heard the door slid shut, staring in the direction of the door. He couldn’t see the deeper shadow that Suzaku had become, which meant that Suzaku was on his way out. Lelouch rocked up onto one elbow, staring over at the window. He could cross over and watch Suzaku make his way over to the front of campus, but he was sure that he would get spotted. He was supposed to be asleep after all, it had all been part of the plan to avoid tripping into awkward conversation. He hadn’t meant to actually fall asleep, but exhaustion had caught up to him.

He hadn’t expected Suzaku to carry him all the way back to Ashford, nor to put him to bed.

Then again, he hadn’t expected to act on the urge to kiss Suzaku.

Lelouch frowned, reaching up to press two fingers to his lips. It hadn’t been much, his kisses with C.C. had been more involved, but they hadn’t made his stomach twist in the same almost pleasant way.

He jerked his fingers away from his mouth, curling them into the covers instead.

He stared at the window for a moment more before rolling onto his other side. He didn’t want to look at the door or the windows, the wall was the safer bet. There wasn’t the temptation to wait and look then. It just left him with the rest of the bed which, for some reason, seemed bigger and emptier than before.

END

#geassvalentines2017 #happinesssdeceit #my fic #code geass #suzalulu

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 22-23

Chapter 22

We’re in Androma’s POV, which is punishment in itself, but we’re also in a shitty flashback, which makes this outright hellish. 

We’re basically told everything we already knew, how Andi was “without purpose” before becoming a Spectre, how she and Kalee became “as close as sisters,” bla bla bla. 

We already kow this, Shinsay. We’re on chapter 22, can you stop repeating the same goddamn information over and over?

There’s also talk of how much Andi loves her planet, which is just ... I know that a lot of sci-fi makes the mistake of basically thinking that planets are just very big countries with a homogeneous population, but I’m so tired of it so I’m still calling it out. 

Earth alone has a bajillion different cultures, countries, customs, languages, people. Why would other planets be any different? I know it’s hard and sometimes pointless to try to develop every country on every planet when you’re writing a space opera, which might include dozens of planets, but can we at least stop treating each planet like there’s only one people and one culture on it? 

Thanks. 

Anywho, the flashback is basically Kalee and Andi sneaking through their big fancy estate (passing Valen’s room) and Kalee convincing Andi to take her dad’s ship and have a little nighttime ride around the mountains.

And as usual, Shinsay just can’t keep away from writing dumb shit:

Kalee nodded, then grabbed Andi’s hand and tugged her down the hall, toward the stairs. “It’s going to be the best night of your life, Androma Racella,” she said as they reached the steps. “It’s not like it’s going to kill you.”

Shinsay, we already know Kalee is dead. (We also know what Andi’s name is, and so does Andi and Kalee.) Are you trying to do some sort of reverse foreshadowing? Aftershadowing? Do you think this little wink to the audience will somehow make this more dramatic? Are you trying to make this seem like “cruel irony?” What exactly is the purpose of this line?

The flashback ends on that stupid note and we’re back in the present as Andi wakes up in a ship next to Dex, who’s passed out and snoring. 

The kiss that left her feeling momentarily like putty as their lips met, like they had so many times before—until her fury took over.

Why was she thinking about that damned kiss? She hated that kiss. She hated Dex’s stupid lips.

Listen, I’m all about using italics to emphasize things ... But this is too much. Can you please not? What’s even the point of either of these? Use italics when the meaning in a sentence is changed depending on which word is emphasized.

Here, it’s used to reinforce a meaning we already know and can assume for ourselves. 

The tranq still in her system called to her and, willing or not, she closed her eyes and sank back into the shadowy depths of sleep.

SHADOWY DEPTHS OF SLEEP

Anyway, yeah, that’s the whole chapter. She’s still tranquilized but conveniently had to wake up to update the reader on where she was, because we’re all stupid and can’t figure it out for ourselves. I mean, if we don’t make sure she and Dex were transported via spaceship to the prison, like they’d planned to do and something we’d assume would happen because we’re reading a space opera, then how can we be sure they didn’t just teleport to the prison, hmm?

Chapter 23

VALEN WAS A man made of regrets.

Me too, bud.

We don’t get an update on Valen’s state or the whole Nor business. Instead, it’s just more angst about how he could’ve prevented Kalee’s death and how much he hates Andi for murdering her, which, OK, she didn’t actually, but whatever.

Then we get a scene break and even more flashbacks. 

Valen is staring at a portrait of Andi, one month after Kalee’s death. Or sorry, one “full moon” ago, because fuck you. He thinks about how much he loves to be a painter. 

He loved the way the paint on his brushes dried when he didn’t wash them, deepening from a royal, cloudless sky blue to a nighttime, starless black.

Fuck you. 

Out of all the dumb shit this book has thrown at me, a painter loving it when his brushes get practically destroyed/heavily damaged is probably the dumbest.

And paint changing color when it dries is a sign of bad quality. All paint changes color, but that shit takes decades, and Valen is what, an older teen? Does it somehow not change color when put on a canvas, or does Valen just like the surprise of his paintings changing color shortly after he finishes them?

Valen thinks about how hot Andi is, because of course, and the portrait he made of her was of course his magnum opus, and by the time he’d finished it and walked out of the room, he saw Andi and Kalee leave for a joyride. 

Another scene break, and we’re back in the present. He thinks about how he shold’ve saved Kalee and it makes him fall asleep again (relatable). 

Scene break, another flashback, to after Kalee’s death. His mother is asking him to attend her funeral and says that Kalee would want him to be there, but Valen is like “nah bitch.”

If he cried, the chasm in his chest would open wide, and he’d fall, and he’d keep falling until he reached the end.

I know this is supposed to be deep, but I’m just picturing him imploding. 

His mother leaves and Valen stares angstily at the portrait of Andi, before reluctantly deciding to make some changes to it. And I’ll just post the entire description, because it’s too fucking good:

When he was done, he realized he’d been wrong before.

The old painting was child’s play. Now he’d finally created a masterpiece.

He hung it up to dry and left the room, casting only one glance back over his shoulder.

Androma Racella stared at him from the wall.

Half of her, the moonlit side, he’d left untouched. But the other he’d taken his time with, her face coated in splatters of crimson, in shades of purple so dark they looked nearly black against her pale, smooth skin.

Wet red paint trickled down her cheeks and slipped from the canvas onto the floor. A soft drip, drip, drip that reminded him not of tears, but of his sister’s blood.

A masterpiece indeed, as if Andi had ripped off the mask she’d been wearing and revealed to the world her second self, the one she’d been hiding just beneath the surface for so long.

Hey guys, I know that uuh it’s very tempting to blame others when you experience bad stuff like this, but can we just take a moment to acknowledge that ANDI DIDN’T KILL KALEE. SHE DIDN’T MURDER HER. SHE WAS JUST AS TRAUMATIZED BY KALEE’S DEATH AS THE REST OF YOU.

If Andi was such a huge part of the family, why are they blaming her without reason? The only way I could see them reacting like this would be if Andi straight up bragged about having killed Kalee and taken the credit for doing it. Which makes no sense. I can see Andi blaming herself, yes, but it’s evident that she cared about Kalee. 

Whatever, man. This is what happens when you want your heroine to both be a BADASS RUTHLESS KILLER and a sad woobie who did nothing wrong. 

Also, doesn’t this HYPERTECH FUTURE have like ... I dunno ... security cameras? They’d see that Kalee was the one who convinced Andi and that Andi didn’t maliciously try to murder Kalee? I know Andi was Kalee’s protector, but was she her babysitter as well? And if she was, isn’t it only fair to blame Kalee’s parents for putting a teenager in charge of another teenager? Why didn’t you put an experienced adult in the role of Kalee’s Spectre? 

All of this is so extremely dumb.

I also want to say that as a tortured artist, I know that people express their pain in different ways, but usually, we artsy folks tend to be more abstract. We don’t usually paint our worst enemy’s face and make them super fucked up and ugly like some sort of childish insult or expression of their TRUE NATURE. I’m also not sure how this is supposed to represent Andi’s true nature when he seems to be painting wounds? I’m ...??? Usually, painting real people you know and giving them gruesome wounds just because you hate them means you need quite a bit of help and has nothing to do with how much of an Artiste you are.

And what type of paint is he using if it’s literally dripping off the canvas? That’s not ... That’s not what any paint I’ve encountered does, unless you mix it with an entire ocean of water, and in that case the pigment will be very faded so it wouldn’t even look like blood.

And here’s the portrait, btw:

A masterpiece indeed.

Very hashtag deep.

Valen leaves, thinking about how Andi’s waiting for her trial and how she’ll be sentenced to death, and walks past Kalee’s room.

When he passed by his sister’s room, he caught the slightest hint of her summertime scent.

It lingered like a distant breeze, quickly swept away when reality took its place.

The chasm in him broken, Valen Cortas fell to his knees in Kalee’s doorway and wept.

The drama. 

Another two chapters where nothing happened. Yaay! 

#eff reads: zenith #book rants

[bluebookbadger-blog]

The Price of a Life - Chapter 3

Title: The Price of a Life Fandom (s): Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood Summary: I always thought waking up in another world would be a lot more…interesting. At least slightly exciting and terrifying, but it really wasn’t. It was more of a sudden and underwhelming event, that landed me in the company of fiction and its ignorance to modern physics. I thought it was a dream. Boy was I wrong. Characters: SI/OC, Maes Hughes, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, etc. Rating: PG-13

I couldn't sleep again that night, or even the next, not even getting a few seconds of splendid nothingness in my anxiety. I had come across a dilemma in my planning, and worst of all there was no more milk. The problem was, Tucker's experiment on Nina and Alexander was an important step to Ed and Al realizing how important it was for them to stay alive.

In order to keep the story straight, I needed to keep the emotional and character development as the same as possible. For Hughes, that just meant keeping him out of the picture or at least convince others (aka Flame Colonel) of his death. However, when it came to the deaths of characters influencing the development of others, it meant that some degree of death and suffering had to be involved.

I was the kind of girl who saw these kind of moral decisions in black and white most of the time. Something was right or it was wrong, good or bad, that kind of stuff. But the lives of people? Intentionally making Edward get depressed and in effect attacked and almost killed by Scar? Not to mention his automail and Alphonse would get all busted up...poor Winry. This was a little much for me to deal with, let alone practically decide the fate of the whole series.

'An Alchemist's Anguish' and 'Rain of Sorrows' were the first really serious life and death episodes people cried about, unless they had some weird attachment to Cornello or McDougal, and it's not as if the story focused on the past trauma the Elrics had endured (not a ton I could do to help them now).

I didn't want to think about how I would deal with future situations, let alone this one, so I decided to draw some silly doodles of Maes instead. Now, I was no artist, which was why I was calling them silly doodles. They're literally stick figures with glasses and a cowlick. That was it. That was my artistic ability.

The 'drawings' (if you could call them that) clashed horribly with my messy consideration of Nina and Alexander' experimentation/deaths as a) preventable b) necessary and c) reversible. I could try to find a way to keep the resulting chimera of Tucker's experiment alive long enough for proper research to reverse their condition to be discovered, however, that meant the two having to live as that monstrosity for who knows how many years.

Not to mention the Tuckers' deaths were something that really sent Ed over the edge, thus creating the whole 'look how cool it is to be alive!' speech Alphonse had to give him. It also updated Winry on the Elric's situation, and lead to the meeting with Dr. Marcoh, which led to the fifth laboratory, not to mention Sheska's job - it all came from that event practically, and without it, no one would be able to stop Father on The Promised Day. The snowball effect of the plot was awful when considering the impact of people's deaths, but it also made one hell of a show.

All these moral and plot questions were really messing with my head, so I decided to get a glass of water. This was a mistake, as it seemed to have woken Maes up. Well, he didn't look like he'd gotten much sleep either. I almost bolted for my bedroom when I heard his door open, but decided against it since my ankle was acting up again.

I had the notebook in my room, so it was probably safe so long as Lucha didn't try to eat it. He was still acting weird, sleeping more than usual and eating less. I was starting to get worried he was depressed or something. Anyways, Hughes walked in on me as I sat down at the table. I was wearing a new nightgown Gracia had bought for me, all frilly and white like something out of a horror movie.

"Can't sleep?" I asked, peering up from my glass. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and it was just downright weird. A Maes without glasses was like an Irish without a Lucha. It was just damn unnatural. Besides the bizarre lack of glasses, Maes seemed kind of beat down, barely cracking a smile when he walked past me to start the coffee machine.

I never noticed how old it looked. Like, it was a freaking dinosaur. Probably this world's equivalent of an early Pavoni Espresso Machine. I wondered if they still drank it with or without grinds in, what year was this, 1913? The invention of filters came out in 1908 I thought… Wait, no, Elicia turned three not too long from now and she was born in 1911 so...1914-ish? So yeah, no coffee grinds.

I hate coffee, and in an episode of hyperfixation, I spent several days researching everything about my nemesis. As they say, “know thy enemy”. 

In reality though it was for a school project, but I still fucking hate that vile bean juice.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Hughes said, waking me from my coffee musings. He had the machine running and sat down across from me, waiting for it to finish. "Want to ask me that question from earlier?"

No. I really didn't want to ask the damn question. I was a little distracted by the consequences of saving lives to think about taking them. Still, it was probably the reason I snapped at Elicia earlier and the reason I hadn't been sleeping. I rested my chin on my hands, looking across the dark room at the pictures on the mantel.

"You've killed people, right? In the civil war?" I was glad I was collected enough to act like I was making assumptions about Hughes' career as a soldier. "How do you...is it possible, I mean, to get over it?"

My heart felt as if someone had stabbed me through and through with a hot iron, and my mouth had suddenly become the Mojave Desert. My cheeks were crimson, and I knew the dark couldn't hide the tears that slipped down my cheeks. Part of me thought I was being weak, another felt vulnerable and scared, and a final piece was ready to break down sobbing and hug Maes like he was my own father.

It was quiet for a while, as if Hughes was letting me collect myself a little before he said anything that might upset me more. I realized how long I had been sitting there trying to stop the tears when I heard a short, quiet click from the coffee machine. Hughes got up and poured himself a cup. I was considerably more relaxed now, but still on the verge of tears. I had to stop crying every night, it was starting to become a bad habit. Maes sat next to me, not drinking his coffee as he thought for a moment.

"It's not something you're really supposed to 'get over'." He said slowly, assessing my lack of reaction. I tried my best to not mentally berate the statement, he wasn't finished. "But it is something you need to learn to cope with. I'm no expert in trauma - at least not on paper - but, just try to accept what you did and move on." Oh snap, I brought out the serious Hughes. Shit was about to get real. Okay, so it seemed I coped with humor.

"It's hard at first, but it helps to have someone to talk to when you start obsessing with it - blaming yourself, others, denial, that kind of stuff. You shouldn't avoid it necessarily, but it shouldn't be something that runs your life." I nodded, feeling slightly better. I was considerably more collected than I had been a minute or two ago, suddenly feeling stupid for even bothering Hughes. It probably brought up bad memories for him, not to mention there were probably books about trauma in the library - though, it would burn down before the Elrics got back from their trip to Resembool to recuperate, right? Ugh, stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Thanks, really, thank you." I said, my voice raspy from all the damn crying I'd been doing. I really hated crying in front of people, if you couldn't tell from my little self loathing speech up there. This is the most I had cried all month. He almost awkwardly rubbed my back in an attempt to help me calm down some more. Sweet of him, but it seemed to only make me more upset. My dad would always rub circles on my back like that when I was upset."Can I ask you something else?"

"Sure, anything." Maes said softly, taking a sip of his coffee, a faraway look misting over his eyes. Ugh, I was so stupid for asking for help - why couldn't I learn to deal with stuff on my own? Part of me was aware that I did the right thing by asking him for advice, but it still made me feel bad. I needed to change the subject before I started to cry again.

"What does my Honorary Citizenship come with? Why did it impress Miss. Reich enough to get me a job?" I asked, genuinely curious. It seemed all official and pretty, but what was special enough to a) get me out of prison and b) get me a job with a prejudiced shopkeeper who had zero knowledge of my skills or abilities? Hughes also seemed happy to change the morbid subject to something else.

"Well, they aren't common to say the least. I'm pretty sure only two have even been issued before you - both before King Bradley was Fuhrer. They're the highest honor that can be given to a citizen. If you ever decide to join the military, you get a starting rank of a corporal once you graduate from the academy. And even if you don't, you still have access to the same career benefits - insurance and whatnot - that a corporal would.

"There's also some legal power with it, I'm pretty sure you have the power to arrest someone under certain circumstances - I think you have to have witnessed the crime with multiple witnesses and have at least a sergeant present." I nodded, a bit intimidated by the power the small piece of paper held. It was like having Order 3066 in your back pocket, except it wouldn't cause, you know, mass genocide and that kind of stuff.

I knew about military ranks, at least a little. My older sister back home was a Chief Petty Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard, so we heard plenty of this and that, but naval ranks weren't exactly the same as army ranks.

"A corporal? What kind of job would I do?" I asked, interested. If I became involved with the military, I could keep a closer eye on Hughes and the Elrics. However, that meant Pride and Wrath would be able to keep a close eye on me. The Fuhrer had most likely already figured out that my story had some small plot holes, especially the Drachman part of it. I didn't know shit about Drachman culture, let alone some religion - I should have probably given it a name so they didn't think the story was too vague. I'll call it...Utkism? Yes. A religion named after the Russian word for duck. After finishing this little tirade with myself I realized Hughes was looking at me oddly with a small, sleepy smile growing on his face. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" He stroked his scruffy beard sagely.

"You could work with me, once you finish at the academy that is." I realized I probably missed a whole spiel on what the hell a corporal was supposed to do, so I just nodded. All this nodding was starting to hurt my neck.

We talked for a little longer about the academy; how long I'd be there if I applied, what it'd be like, stuff like that. It was around two in the morning when I realized how often we were both yawning. We had gotten to the subject of state alchemists somehow, probably by talking about Edward, and were both struggling to maintain the conversation.

"I'm heading to bed," That was a lie, I was going back to awful moral questioning and arguing with myself over the lives of people, but Maes seemed to believe it as he too began to make his way back to his room.

"See you in the morning," The man said with a yawn, making me yawn as I entered the room. Sitting on my bed, I was happy to find the notebook unscathed. The bed was really squishy and comfortable, but I couldn't fall asleep with all the planning I had to do.

The first page of the notebook had the title of the pilot episode 'Fullmetal Alchemist'. There wasn't really much I could 'plan' for the past, but I did jot down a few notes about who I came into contact with - Kimblee probably listened in on me and McDougal, Wrath (which I simply marked with a WWE symbol just in case Seliem, or rather, Pride, was up past his bedtime spying on me), Mustang, Riza, The Armstrong Squad, the Elrics, ect. I also made a minor note of the other officers and soldiers I had met, and my 'story' of how I got there and my background. It would be both embarrassing and terrifying to screw up a lie.

The next page had both 'The First Day' and 'The City of Heresy' episode titles just to jog my memory (I lied about having an eidetic memory to you, I was only good for memorizing lists, names, and numbers. Did I forget to mention I was a compulsive liar? Just kidding, that was a lie.). I had recently given up on 'An Alchemist's Anguish' as it nearly took up two whole pages and I didn't know how long this little book was.

The next episode was really sad with lots of rain, when Scar went after the Elrics...ah, yes. 'Rains of Sorrows' would happen the day after the Tuckers were murdered. It would be cool to see if I could prevent Ed and Al some pain, but then they wouldn't have to go to Resembool and meet Marcoh on the way so I guessed I had to let shit go down between Scar and the state alchemists. Speaking of which, I was pretty sure all of this would happen in East City. I should have probably found a map so I could figure out where the hell I was at least half the time.

On another note, Lucha was finally awake for once, and not hungry. But he was still acting strangely, a twitching mess acting as if he had never walked before, stumbling around the bed like a drunken pig. I sighed, walking over to the extra bed and picking the snake rat up.

"Are you sick little buddy?" His eyes were cloudy, as if he had cataracts. This made me nervous. I didn't think the vets here would provide care for living slinkies, let alone know how to remove a cataract. I kept trying to get a better view of his eyes, which was hard considering how fidgety he was. "Geez, would you stop-" I squeaked in pain as he bit me. No blood was drawn, but it hurt like hell. "Fu-dge." I said, curbing a curse as Lucha found his footing on the bed and began to tentatively shuffle over to the notebook. "No you don't you evil little-" I stopped when I realized he was picking the pen up in its mouth, dragging the tip over the page.

Okay, I knew ferrets were smart, but he was not really one to stick with stereotypes so Lucha was always a bit of an...astronaut. Yeah, an astronaut. He was never really all there, a bit dopey and clumsy (my brother dropped him when we first got the ferret, I cried the whole way to the vet and back). Anyways, no ferret - no animal (at least without an opposable thumb) should have been able to write.

I finally got out of my stupor when he made this strangled squeak, like he was afraid to make too much noise. Lucha seemed to want me to look at what he wrote. It was three simple words, messy and with letters that were somewhat backwards and too large for me to read the first few seconds I stared at the ink.

"I AM TRUTH" It read, which made me let out a short bark of laughter. Lucha in turn glared at me and gave a short snarl.

"Sorry, it's just," I really couldn't stop giggling. One of the most powerful and all knowing beings of the series, so powerful and influential some called it a god, came to earth in the form of a ferret. "You're so weak, in that form I mean." Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but it was hilarious. The cloudiness of Lucha's eyes cleared to reveal a violet eye, rings circling around a small pupil, like the eye that appears in the middle of a human transmutation circle. Lucha - Well, Truth I guessed, picked up the pen again. "Oh, not on the notebook!" I said, snatching the small tome from the pen's inky reaches.

Truth snorted, looking around for something else to write on. I guess I gave that pen to Truth, I didn't want to write with a slimy bitten ferret pen. Finding nothing, Lucha crawled up to me and began to draw the pen's sharp tip over my shin. It hurt a little, but it would wash off later. It took me a minute to read when the ferret had written, I had to turn my head to read the upside down letters.

"What do you mean you don't like it but have to deal with it? Is this about the thing you said when I was at the Gate, you know, about not being able to possess a creature with a soul?" The ferret's snow white head bobbed up and down. "Aw, but I was kind of the person who thought that maybe-" Lucha shook his head, practically having a seizure suddenly. "Lucha!" I whispered urgently, catching the small animal before he fell off the bed to the hardwood floor below.

He looked up at me, his green eyes sparkling with their little golden flecks. Crawling around my neck, Lucha nuzzled my cheek before resting on my shoulder. I sighed, knowing Truth probably could tell me something I was wondering.

I did remember what I learned from seeing the Truth, I just needed to know if I was applying that knowledge correctly. I learned that a life would have to be taken if my presence interrupted the death of another person, meaning that if I did save Nina and Alexander, someone would die. I had no way of knowing who or when, but that could seriously screw with the timeline more than plain and simple stopping an event.

Are you starting to see my big problem with saving them? And don't even mention Hughes, I was not ready for that kind of emotional trauma after the little therapy session I just had. I just wanted to ask Truth if there was a way to predict who would die in the other person's place. But, I was stuck with a sleepy slinky that was now chewing on my hair. Was he trying to force me to bathe again? Probably.

By the time I rubbed the ink off my leg, it was only 2:30. Needing something to keep me busy, I decided to go for a walk around town and get my bearings. It'd be easier to walk around at night too, not as many people out and such. Was there a curfew? Maybe, but I'd just whip out my wondrous Certificate and get a free pass. Hopefully. I left a note on the table anyway telling Maes to call the police station if I wasn't back for breakfast.

Before I could get out the door, thunder shook the building, and lightning flashed outside as a downpour began. Just my luck. And here you would think a girl named Irish would be lucky. Still, the thunder and lightning seemed to have stopped and the initial flood of rain had quickly been reduced to a light shower. Okay, so maybe I did have some luck to my name. I decided to wear one of the skirts Gracia had bought me.

Now, I'm down to wear steel toed boots and jeans and work in the mud and drive tractors all day, but I spent my first twelve school years in a skirt and blouse. In high school, I did wear jeans and boots and hoodies daily, but dressing up was my absolute favorite thing to do.

But I digress, the skirt was long, like, traditional and formal western style. It was blue with a belt that she had bought for it. Not really my style, too loose for my liking but it would do for a quick walk. The white blouses she had bought made me uncomfortable with its relatively see through fabric, so I decided on wearing one with this cute little dress jacket that mostly hid my grey sports bra from peeking out from beneath the thin fabric.

Everything was relatively comfortable, except for the frilly collar of the blouse, it was kind of itchy. To top it off, I found this hat Mrs. Hughes had left in the bottom of the closet. It had lost most of its 1900 feathers and flowers that it once adorned, and I wished they had some cloche hats around that I could use instead, but at least this would hide my hair, which was beginning to look more like a mane.

I felt very proper, with all the old clothes I was wearing. Resisting the urge to narrate my journey to the front door with a British accent, I decided to recite a few lines of Jane Austen's Emma mentally. At the front door I was contented to find a pair of shoes that, though not my size in anyway, would suffice for a quick run through the rain. I was about to put the dress pumps on when I realized the rain might ruin the old shoes. Industry was just starting to get back to producing peacetime goods after the war, so they probably weren't the best quality.

"Okay, so barefoot it is." I said quietly, checking to make sure I had everything I needed before quietly heading out with Lucha around my neck like a breathing fur scarf. As much as I loved my slippers and orthotics, barefoot was always the way to go in the rain, so long as there weren't any broken bottles lying around.

The lights in the reception area were still on, but no one was there to stop me from stealing an umbrella from the cute old umbrella stand. There were lots of umbrellas, and it wasn't as if anyone was going to be in such a rush at this hour.

Outside it was beautiful. The street lamps were still the type that needed to be lit every evening, which resulted in some of them sputtering out of existence with the rain. However, the few left burning were enough to light the streets. The shower was lightening up, but the rain was kind of peaceful. I walked all the way down main street before I saw anyone. It was starting to lighten up a little, almost an hour had passed since I left the Hughes' residence, but it was still pretty dark out.

The man was military, his blue uniform bearing many medals and awards, which made my heart skip a beat out of fear. He was also imposing in his own right, taller than Maes with a pointy handlebar mustache. The officer was familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on where I had seen him. Believe it or not, seeing 'characters' as 'people' was strange. Like, actually imagine meeting a living breathing human being with gold eyes like Ed? It just was a lot different than seeing it through a screen. You saw imperfections, small things that make them human instead of flawless animations. Real freaky.

The rain had stopped and I had as well in my maladaptive daydreaming about how easy it would be to mistake Hughes for anyone other than himself if you saw the man in a crowd. He would honestly look just like any dad, and unless you talked to him, you'd have no clue who he was, super fan of the show or not. In my distraction, I didn't realize that the man had slipped into an alley until I heard what sounded like my little brothers starting a pretend WWIII with opening speeches. Still clutching my umbrella, I ran up to the alley way before stopping to listen to the conversation.

"-You've picked the wrong target!" A voice said brusquely before an alchemic reaction took place, blue lightning crackling and lighting up the alley way. Literal canon fire came towards my end of the alley, causing me to duck away as smoke and fire reigned for a moment.

"You're fast," The same voice said, the scene still not clicking quite yet. "Try this!"

The smell of chemistry class was bringing on flashbacks to the great Disaster of McCarthy, in which a friend of mine a) put out match with his tongue and then b) broke the Bunsen burner and made an impromptu flame thrower. Chemistry class was not fun. What sounded like chains broke my post traumatic stress visions of the boy fearfully wielding the weapon of minor destruction. The voice continued onward as his assumed combatant avoided the attack.

"A little more!"

Why all the yelling? Was he trying to attract attention or help, or was this just how people duel in the olden days of 1914? There were three consecutive bangs as something closed, the moment of silent prompting me to peer around the corner.

"Hm, that wasn't so difficult." I finally recalled the opening scene of 'An Alchemist's Anguish', watching in horror as….Brigadier something or other Grand approached the newly made iron box.

"Oh fickle fudge balls." I said under my breath, dropping my umbrella and hiking up my skirt to quickly sprint over. "Mister officer sir please don't-" An explosion interrupted me as Scar broke out of the box using his deconstruction alchemy to grab the Iron-Blood Alchemist by the face.

"What? No, how?" His muffled voice said in surprise. I backed away, terrified but unnoticed thus far. I put my back against the box's wall, not wanting to intervene or be noticed. My heart felt like a car's piston as it pumped, fast and loud.

"Now you perish," A new voice said, husky and solemn as the crackle of an alchemic reaction occur, Grand falling with a thud and blood dripping to the ground. It was quiet for a moment, and I started to back away from the scene as blood came into view. I kept back up, keeping my eyes on the blood before I bumped into someone.

It felt like my heart was going to explode as he used a hand to pin my head against the box. Lucha had been knocked off my neck, falling into a puddle along with my hat. I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the brimming tears, but calmed myself. This was Scar. He only killed State Alchemists, right? I slowly opened my eyes to look up, and was surprised by what I saw.

So, you know how Scar was always portrayed as this grumpy looking guy with a permanent scowl and all? Yeah, went right by the real design. Okay, so the scowl thing was spot on, but his face was a lot softer looking from what I could see (his hand was on my forehead but it still blocked a good part of my view).

He didn't kill me, he was just, looking at me. For a split second by the direction of his shaded eyes I thought he was looking at my chest, but he was looking at my choker necklace. It had popped over the blouse's collar uninvited, sparkling in the moonlight that now peeked from behind the clearing clouds.

My hand instinctively grabbed it as I tried to make eye contact. It was kind of hard to make eye contact with people when they wore shades like that, and he was really tall, okay? Maybe not Armstrong tall, but Scar was up there in my list of Tall People of Amestris.

The man wouldn't make eye contact, his view shifting to the amazing rainbow of colors my bruises had acquired as they finally started to fade. Geez, I didn't want pity, especially not from a guys who was in the position to kill me or worse. We both looked down when Lucha growled the most adorable growl a ferret could make, attacking Scar's shoe with ferocity.

He finally stopped trying to squish my head against the box, allowing me to see the infamous scar. It wasn't marring, just a light cross of pale grey across his darker skin. I was enraptured by his tattoo, the intricate and conspicuous design mesmerizing.

Scar abruptly turned and began walking calmly away, Lucha losing his grip on the shoe and curling around my ankle and snarling angrily. Looking down, I realized it wasn't Lucha (the little bastard would never bite anyone, unless he was hungry). Truth's purple eyes stared up at me for a moment before the white ferret seized and writhed for a few second before lying still. Sliding to the ground, I held my snake rat out of the puddle he was inadvertently drowning in. Scar was still walking away, and I could hear sirens somewhere in the distance. My eyes went back to his arm.

"You're older brother wouldn't want this." I said quietly, but my voice echoed in the empty, window lined alleyway. The man took off running as the blare of sirens advanced, not acknowledging my statement beyond a short pause in his step. I curled my knees to my chest, holding Lucha close.

The realization of what just occurred hit me like a wall of bricks, and I ended up retching. It didn't last long, but I still felt disgusted with having to wipe the vomit from my mouth. Lucha had managed to escape the episode unscathed, I almost crushing him against my chest to keep him away from the mess I made. Believe it or not, it was relieving to throw up for once. It felt as if all of the pent up stress of the past few days was gone in an instant.

I should have just waited for Hughes and Armstrong to show, I knew they would get here to investigate the body before morning and they'd find me and question me and maybe take me to a hospital and everything would be okay in the end. But I panicked and ran. Not after Scar, oh Truth no. I ran home, or at least tried to. About halfway there, a familiar pair of voices yelled,

"Stop! You're under arrest-" I crashed right into Brosh and Ross and we all went tumbling to the ground. Lucha managed to survive yet a second crash landing that morning.

"M-Miss. Irish?" Brosh stuttered, helping me to my feet once he found his own. I was a mess, the skirt's hem all muddy and the entire skirt soaked from when I went to pick up Lucha earlier. I was in a bit of shell shock just staring around me at the familiar faces as if they were total strangers. I started run again, wanting only to curl up with a cup of hot cocoa if such a thing existed in this world.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Maria asked, catching me by my arm. My breathing was speeding up, an asthma attack seeming imminent as I began to stress about how I would explain that I was a witness fleeing a murder scene. "Woah, calm down, tell us what happened."

Why did she have to have that motherly tone? I was about to start crying again when I noticed Armstrong and Hughes getting out of a car. So that was why Maes was up last night (or, well, this morning), he never did sleep because he was working on this case. In my daze of confusion and realization, I almost forgot about Maria's question.

"Oh, um," Well, I couldn't say I was enjoying an early morning walk now could I, even though that was the truth a little while ago. I looked at my feet. "I saw something I probably shouldn't have." I said quietly, Maria and Denny looking to each other before gently leading me in the direction of Hughes and Armstrong.

Great. This was going to be lots of fun, all rainbows and unicorns. I just wanted to go home, I might have even gotten some rest knowing that the story was progressing. But no, I had to be interrogated - for like the second time this week! Why couldn't I just do something normal and get a normal experience in return? Equivalent exchange and all that stuff? Hughes looked up from the body, which they had thankfully covered with a sheet. The blood stains on the ground still made me feel physically ill though. Armstrong and he turned to me and my two escorts.

"We found her fleeing the scene, sirs." Denny said, I having to restrain a glare. The guy made it sound like I was the one who killed Grand.

"She claims to have witnessed it." Hughes nodded as Maria said this, his fatherly attitude earlier nowhere to be seen.

"Thank you, 2nd Lieutenant and Sergeant. Take Irish to central command and make sure she's okay. Don't question her until we get there." Maes said. I wasn't liking his serious tone, I had heard too much of it already this morning. Before I could get a word out otherwise, a new car pulled up, Bradley stepping out of the passenger door and approaching us. All of the soldiers saluted, but I just nodded in the general direction of the car. It's headlights were like looking at the sun. "Fuhrer Bradley, your excellency, what brings you here?" Hughes asked as the man approached Grand's body.

"I got word of what happened." He said gravely, looking down at the blood stained sheet. "Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, you're the officer in charge of this case?" Hughes looked up, replying with a curt,

"Yessir."

"Should you need any additional personnel, just ask." Bradely's voice suddenly became rather frightening considering what he personified. "The man doing this is a traitor, I want him stopped." Both Hugh and Armstrong mirrored my own slightly nervous expression at the Fuhrer's seriousness before nodding.

"Sir." Hughes said in acceptance of the task. Bradley turned to leave, but stopped as he saw me with his good eye. He probably saw me earlier with his 'all seeing eye' thing but wouldn't have been able to with the eye patch under normal circumstances.

"Irish?" I lowered my head, looking at my bare feet. They were cold, and wet, standing out starkly against the dark stone ground. "You just can't keep out of trouble, now can you kiddo." Ugh, could he not call me 'kiddo'? Only my Uncle Thomas was allowed to call me that, not the physical manifestation of Wrath.

"I'm sorry sir," I looked up making eye contact. "Trouble has a funny way of finding me." He nodded before taking his leave, allowing me to finally relax. It made you tense to be in that guy's presence, he just made you so damn nervous that he would kill you if you said the wrong thing. I sighed, looking to Hughes then to the Armstrong Squad. "Let's get this over with, I might even take that coffee offer now Hughes."

We all got into a car, I was pretty sure it was the same one Hughes had driven me to his apartment complex in because the crumbs on the floor were suspiciously similar to the cookie Lucha had been eating that day. The drive was mostly quiet, in exception for Lucha's snoring.

"Where are your shoes?" Maria asked at one point, noticing my bare feet. I shrugged, stroking my ferret's white fluff.

"I didn't want to ruin the new shoes Mrs. Hughes bought me by using them in the rain."

"So, you went barefoot?" Denny asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. I nodded, happy we weren't talking about the murder.

"Yep. Why? Did I break another law?" I asked, worried I had broken some stupid law like we had back in the states. Did you know that in some places it's illegal to walk backwards down the street with an ice cream cone in your back pocket on a Sunday? Weird.

"No. It's just a little…" I sighed, nodding as Maria faltered.

"Strange, I know. I never really wear shoes that much since there are never any my size." I explained, even though it was a partial lie. I didn't wear shoes when they messed with my balance or I didn't want to ruin a new pair. And they did have shoes my size, the problem was, well-

"But you're feet aren't that small." Denny pointed out, observing my left foot. "Even if sizes here are different than Drachman sizes, I'm sure there'd be something-"

"No, not like that." I interrupted, putting my heels together to show the two the difference. "See? My left foot is a size seven and a half, but my right foot is a size three, uh, in Drachman sizes that is." They really were in American sizes though, which made it a pain to buy shoes. You would already spend a hundred bucks on a pair of dress shoes but oh, you have to buy a second pair! It really sucked.

"Oh…" Both of the officers said, Maria speaking up and saying, "Is foot binding from Xing practiced in Drachma?" Eek, they had foot binding around still? Ouch.

"Nah, it's a genetic thing. The bones in my feet never properly formed so when my feet started to grow, the bones were still partially fused together and, well, my right foot's the result." Denny grimaced.

"Sounds like it hurt." I nodded.

"Like hell, but it stopped when I stopped growing so it's not so bad now." They were looking at me weirdly. "What?"

"How old are you?" Maria asked, a puzzled expression on her face as she and Denny looked me up and down. I looked at my chest and crossed my arms defensively.

"Seventeen, why do you ask?" That made Denny uncomfortable, and probably Maria too but she seemed to hide it better than him.

"Uh, well, you just look...young, for your age." My turn to raise a brow at him.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"We're here." Hughes said, glancing momentarily at us as he pulled the rickety old - well, old to me - car up the road of the monstrous building known as Central Command. Sunlight was finally blessing the land with its warmth, which meant I had another long day ahead of me.

I was getting real tired of this building, we're good acquaintances, but I was not overly fond of Command so I think we need some time apart. It was not Command, it was me. Actually no, it was the guy running Command and this whole damn country that I needed to spend some time away from. Unfortunately for me, it seemed no one in the car heard about my breakup with Command, so they dragged me along anyway.

After a long series of ridiculously baffling hallways, we somehow arrive at Hughes' office. Quaint little place, nothing like Mustang's temporary office he had while he was in Central, but kind of comforting. I was actually pretty nervous. I did have my certificate with me, laminated and tucked safely into my belt, but that piece of paper couldn't protect me from interrogation methods of the 1914s.

"Sit down." Hughes 'offered' motioning to a chair in front of his desk. Armstrong, Brosh, and Ross were on the couch behind me, taking notes. Well, Maria was the only one with a pad of paper and a pen so I guessed she was the one taking notes. "So, can you tell us when happened?" I sighed, unintentionally cracking my neck as I retold the events.

"Well, I was just walking down the street and it was raining - oh Tru-ck I dropped an umbrella I borrowed, do you think we'll be able to get it back?" I asked, looking behind me to Denny and Armstrong. They didn't realize I was actually looking for answer until Hughes cleared his throat.

"Don't worry about that for now, so you were walking in the rain, how did you stumble upon the murder?"

"Well, it wasn't exactly a murder, it was more of a fight. I heard some guy talking all preacher like about judgement and all so I decided to eavesdrop since it seemed interesting-"

"You didn't think to get the police?" Hughes interjected, not looking up from a note he was writing. Well, shit. Never thought about that…

"Um, well, no. There wasn't really anyone around except for the guy - Grand or whatever - and I got a little distracted after he went down the alley so anyway the guy was talking all preachy-like and I was eavesdropping. Grand sounded really confident he would win when they started fighting. I missed some of what he said, but after the fight started the preachy-guy didn't talk much. Anyway I decided to look when everything was quiet and I wasn't being shot at by freaking canons, and Grand got the guy trapped in a box. I went to go ask him if he was okay but then there were blue sparkles - alchemy I think - and a hole in the box formed. The guy had Grand by the head and I looked away when he used the alchemy stuff to-"

"You said he used alchemy?" Hughes asked, looking up. Oh, frickle frackle firetruck. Did I screw up? Truth, if you posses Lucha and tell me I didn't just give away info that might change the story in some way that'd be real great.

"Uh, yeah. I think. It was a little like what McDougal did when he froze that guy's arm back at the prison. That's the only alchemy I've ever seen before."

"They don't have alchemy in Drachma?" Armstrong asked, surprising me with his low, booming voice.

"Uh, not that I've seen." He nodded, allowing me to relax a little. Why was this so nerve racking? You're telling the truth mostly - but you probably shouldn't mention what you told Scar about his brother, that would screw shit up for sure Irish.

"Continue, please." Hughes asked, his glasses hiding his eyes from view with their glare. I never really got how glasses did that, maybe you needed special lenses...Adjusting my own spectacles, I did as he asked.

"Yeah so after Grand died I started to back away because I didn't want to mess with the guy - he wasn't going to let a witness go probably. But I kind of bumped into him and he grabbed me - oh Hughes, I lost my hat. I found this hat in that closet, real vintage 1900s stuff and it hid my hair well but it's probably still there-" Hughes cleared his throat. "Oh, sorry. Um, yeah he just kind of looked at me for a minute - my hair and eyes kind of caught him off guard I guess, and he kind of was starting to creep me out when he stared at my necklace." My hand touched the sterling silver Celtic cross.

"He took interest in your hair and eyes - your necklace, what is it, a religious symbol?" Hughes asked distractedly as he jotted down some notes. Thank Truth for me coming up with a name for the 'religion' earlier.

"Yessir, it's an Utkist cross. A symbol of martyrdom, unity, and struggle." Eh, close enough?

"Utkism, would you care to elaborate? Is it a well known religion?" Well, um, improvisation!

"The religion of Ire, my home village. It's very far in the north of Drachma by the sea, very secluded. I'm afraid it's not a well known religion by those who don't live there. Even in Drachma it has little influence beyond the far northwest." Were they buying it? Truth, why did Hughes have to have such a good poker face? Probably learned from surprise attacks on Mustang with pictures of Elicia and Gracia. That man was the absolute best. Wait, wrong time to compliment the guy interrogating you Irish - bad timing!

"Hm, a murderer of State Alchemists using a form of alchemy, and a possible connection to a small religious group." Oh, Truth. Hughes I am so sorry if this screwed up your investigation. Please don't ask me if there are any other people from Ire in Amestris please! "Could he perhaps be from your village?" Ugh, I guess that's not as bad.

"No way, I got a pretty good look at him and I knew almost every one of the maybe hundred people that live in Ire when I left only a few years ago. Besides, his skin was too dark and he had a weird scar on his forehead." I said, making up the little village of Ire in my head. A cute village where you know your neighbors and have your children marry them in arranged ceremonies. Also home to the duck religion, that worships a legendary duck called Mother Goose that was fabled to lay golden eggs. Yes, this would work nicely. Apologies any actual religions that worship ducks and geese - I needed something to convince these guys with!

"So, the Scarred Man struck again." Maria said with a sigh.

"Yes, who else has been targeting State Alchemists and killing them in an odd fashion?" Denny responded.

"The who now?" I asked, hoping to stay off the topic of the actual interrogation. Hughes looked up from his notes, his glasses no longer hiding his hazel irises.

"The Scarred Man, though most of us just call him 'Scar' for short. He's been targeting and killing State Alchemists, and it looks like Grand was his latest victim." Maes said, compiling and straightening his notes. "How'd you get away? You seem to have a knack for escaping murderers."

"One of my many unusual talents acquired from living with my weird family of freaks. One of the many…" I said wistfully, smiling at his confused and slightly concerned expression. "He let me go if you're that concerned. Lucha did bite him but, in case you haven't noticed, Lucha's a bit of a wimp." The living slinky was exploring the office, currently gnawing on Armstrong's boot lace, which seemed to entertain the big man greatly.

"Did you see where he went?"

"Nope," I swung my legs back and forth, my feet barely touched the ground in this tall chair. "I got sick with stress - you try facing off with murders twice in one week - then I ran like the wind and hoped to curl up in a ditch somewhere and pretend it never happened." Hughes nodded.

"And then you ran into 2nd Lieutenant Ross and Sergeant Brosh, correct?"

"Yepsterdoodles." He looked at me as if I had grown three heads, but said nothing as he nodded nonetheless and handed his notes to Maria.

"Thanks for your help Mac, you're free to go!" Hughes said in a suddenly jovial mood. This guy had some serious mood swings sometimes.

"Uh, can I stay for the day actually?" He looked at me in a kind of surprised manner.

"Sure, why?" I shrugged looking around the office.

"I guess I want to see if there's anything I can help with. But, I do want a list of the State Alchemists if you could get me that. There's something I want to check out." Maes seemed to think for a moment before looking to Armstrong and the amazing babysitting duo.

"Armstrong, see if you can get that list for Mac; Brosh, Ross, could you two make sure she keeps herself out of trouble - or at least keep trouble from finding her.

"Yessir," The three said, Armstrong leaving to get the list of Alchemists. Hughes turned to Denny and Maria.

"Can you two take her home so she can get a change of clothes? You must be uncomfortable in those clothes Mac." I nodded, the soaked skirt and frilly blouse collar not helping me relax.

"Yeah, sounds like a plan."

Masterlist

#fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #si/oc #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #bbb writes #bbb #bluebookbadger

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Origin and Player Movement

SO we are in a bye week, not too much happening to be honest, so a change of column this week.

I’ll go through 20 names you will be hearing about at the end of the year with regards to free agency and the trade period, and give a update on what decisions they’re facing, who’s leading the race for some big fish come October.

But beforehand, it’s the age-old question at this time of the year given last night’s big clash in Brisbane, should the AFL bring back State of Origin.

I have bored the pants off so many with my thoughts on this, but as succinctly and concisely as one can before we move on to player movement, I believe the AFL should bring it back – here’s how and why.

When? During the pre-season, in and around the JLT Community Series. Continue to play the practice games in the format we saw this year, but for three Saturday nights in a row there’d be an Origin game.

In no order, you’d have Victoria play South Australia in Melbourne one weekend, the next perhaps South Australia playing Western Australia at the Adelaide Oval and then the third and final weekend it’d be Western Australia hosting Victoria at the new Perth Stadium.

Each of the big three states hosts a game every year, then travels to play the other opponent. Every second year would be the reverse.

There’d be no other states or Allies team for two reasons, not enough talent to make it a competitive spectacle, which rep. footy is and needs to be, nor would there be enough passion in the jumper for any amalgamated side.

If it’s the start of the year it avoids interfering with the home and away season and it is when the playing stocks are at their healthiest.

And if a player, let’s take Nat Fyfe, is to play two games for WA, he might then play both of those yet not play any of the JLT games for Fremantle. This ensures he still gets the two or so games of match practice he would have had otherwise but with no further risk to the Dockers as they approach Round One – his load and risk to injury remains the same.

Further, Fyfe would have had a pre-season back dating back to November where he has trained and practiced with his teammates constantly, so the idea of not participating in two or three JLT games in March won’t hurt the chemistry between he and his teammates for the season proper.

And finally, the players want a representative football, so does the fan base, and Origin would be far better than the hybrid bastard child that is the International Rules junket against the plumbers, postmen and mechanics of Ireland. We too have never quite cracked the optimum way to open a new season, how about 90,000 at the MCG to see Danger, Dusty and the Bont take on Buddy, Rance and Fyfe?

 Anyway, we can continue this conversation every year at this time, but the proper place to do so is in the pub, so on to some quick player movement updates:

 GARY ABLETT: Geelong next season, could be a “Sam Mitchell style” trade, don’t know, but it just happens. Next.

 DUSTIN MARTIN: Probably not Richmond. Some say a good season for the Tigers might help convince him to stay but for mine his decision has already been made. It wouldn’t be totally binding so that might help Richmond but there are offers on the table from several clubs, across different states, the best of which will be too hard to turn down. A top three? I like Adelaide, Sydney and North Melbourne.

 JOSH KELLY: North have put super huge money in front of him, and there’s a bit of the Gary Ablett  about the decision, sure you weigh everything else up but the sheer dollars and term on offer are just too hard to pass up. The Saints are also having a look, as well as a few other Melbourne clubs but I don’t think for money and/or years the North offer will be surpassed. Don’t think he stays.

 JOSH SCHACHE: Gone. Probably Richmond. Has/had a strong connection to Justin Lepptisch, his first coach at the Lions now a line coach at the Tigers, and I can’t see how he doesn’t come home to Victoria. Not only is he homesick, he is also out of form and being offered way more cash to move. One of those reasons might have been compelling enough, but a combination of all three and he is a certainty to move clubs in October. Collingwood a chance, has the cap.

 STEVEN MAY: Out of contract, a Victorian boy, attracting interest by a few clubs but is a 50-50. His co-captain Tom Lynch attracted immense interest when he was coming out of contract, Collingwood put I believe $6m over six years to him, but he chose loyalty and I wonder if May is cut from the same cloth. If not, the Hawks and Pies are two that are interested, possibly the Dogs as well. The Hawks are contemplating mass change to not just get back into the draft and trade period given they have no cards to play right now, but to do so much they can once again be aggressive.

 NAT FYFE: 40% stays at Freo, 40% becomes a Saint, 20% becomes a Blue. I think he stays because I believe Fremantle can match whatever money St Kilda or Carlton does. But St Kilda’s offer is very lucrative, and I’m unsure on the balance between staying at home, in Perth, or if there is a lure to come to Melbourne to continue his footy.

 JACOB HOPPER: Will probably leave, then it’s a case of where. Richmond are keen, as are Melbourne and North. Most clubs will be, it’ll be a bit like Dion Prestia or Adam Treloar, he’ll nominate a club of choice and it’ll be a one-horse race. And that choice will be made on a number of factors as the money will be similar no matter where. But he is Victoria-bound.

 JAKE LEVER: I think he stays but Essendon and Hawthorn are keen. From the Macedon Ranges, but Adelaide has Bryce Gibbs money still up their sleeve and unless stupid money comes, he might re-sign with the Crows, perhaps it’s at the end of his next deal that he might come home.

 JASON JOHANNISEN: Hard one. On one hand, things aren’t super rosy at the Kennel, sure, it’s a great club, reigning premier and still building, and there’s so much going right there. But he is a Perth boy, being offered big money by Fremantle, more than the Dogs are likely to offer, and there’s some personal issues in Melbourne he might want to seek distance from. However, those same issues may want him to stay here, such are the complexities he is enduring away from the game. If I had to guess I say he is in purple next year. But I’m not confident on this one yet.

 SAM REID: The Pies see him as a backup plan, a tall forward lured by the chance to play alongside his brother. Sydney are happy to move him on it seems, but would prefer something for him. He is a free agent and the terms Collingwood will offer won’t be that significant. I’d expect him in black and white next year, but the Schache situation influences this.

 ZAK JONES: Carlton and Essendon are keen, and Melbourne are too. But then again most Victorian clubs would have his name on the whiteboard. Certainly seen his stocks rise this year and rightfully so, a player worthy of good money and term now off the back of some consistent performances. But right now I tip the Swans keep him, just.

 TOM ROCKLIFF: Weirdly likely to go. Not sure where, the Hawks are going to be aggressive and don’t rule them out. But who knows up in Brisbane. Could well stay but perhaps there is a taker.

 DEVON SMITH: Collingwood thinks they have him. We shall see. There’ll be late interest, could see them lose him, to another Melbourne club or the GWS improve their offer.

 MITCH McGOVERN: To West Coast to play with his brother, next.

 JACKSON TRENGOVE: Not sure on this one, there are offers in Melbourne to come home, but have no gut feel. His name will come up until he re-signs in Port, if he does. Could be a lucrative trade to a Melbourne club to help Port with their other needs, or to get further into the draft. The one player in this list whose future will largely hinge on the club’s season.

 PAUL PUOPOLO: I think one of the Crows or Power make the Hawks an offer they entertain. Does it happen, my gut says yes, but at age 30, as an extra piece to an Adelaide premiership build/defence, why not?

 JACK GUNSTON: The Hawk with the most currency on a team who has literally very little to trade, who had almost no draft last year and are currently coming into the 2018 draft in the 30s, whilst finishing bottom four. Could very well go.

 TAYLOR DURYEA: I reckon he goes. He’ll be 27 next year, has some currency, out of contract, would be very useful at almost every other Victorian club, watch his name.

 LACHIE WHITFIELD: He may stay because Josh Kelly goes, but a Victorian, out of contract, depending on how the Saints go with their attempt at nailing a big fish, he indeed may be their big fish. Keep an eye out.

 SAM COLLINS: Talented Docker, slipped to pick 55 in the 2015 Draft, but a mature-bodied key defender, out of contract and from Donvale. For those in the Steven May sweepstakes, Collins will be seen as an attractive Plan B.

  (originally published June 1)