#Don't Need No Advice; I Got A Plan; I Know The Direction; The Lay Of The Land (Steelbeak)

[areyoudreaminof]

No Regrets in this Life: A Cassian Playlist

We're back with our good ol' Lord of Bloodshed. Cassian has had a lot of assumptions and descriptors thrown his way. Bastard, warlord, General, bastard, and himbo (my own personal favorite). But underneath his humor, you've got this very loving and empathetic man, who has a lot more emotional complexity than he gets credit for underneath that humor. So I really let myself have a lot of fun with this playlist. I branched out more sonically and lyrically. So come take a look with me behind the cut! And Listen Here!

Ares-Bloc Party

War, war, war, war I want to declare a war My fist breaks your porcelain nose There are other things my hands can do To create or to destroy Mini gods and goddesses First person singular Set it, set it, set it off

The Man-The Killers

Nothing can break, nothing can break me down Don't need no advice, I got a plan I know the direction, the lay of the land I know the score like the back of my hand Them other boys, I don't give a damn

Inhaler-Foals

So can you not go away If just for one day? Impossible, possible How do you feel now? How do you feel now in a war? War sends out for you And throw your fortune away

After Hours-The Weeknd

Thought I almost died in my dream again Fightin' for my life, I couldn't breathe again I'm fallin' in too deep Without you, I can't sleep 'Cause my heart belongs to you I'll risk it all for you I want you next to me This time, I'll never leave

Careful You-TV on the Radio

Not to say, not to say That you shouldn't share the blame There is a softness to your touch There is a wonder to your ways Don't know how I feel, what's the deal? Is it real? When's it gonna go down? Can we talk? Can we not? Well, I'm here, won't you tell me right now? And I'll care for you, oh, careful you

Bite Down: Bastille vs HAIM

You don't have to look any further I've been waiting here for you for time You don't have to look any further You're missing what is right before your eyes No one's gonna stick the pieces Together for you, together for you

HEADBOARD-Lil Ugly Mane

Caught in a fire Buried with you Off in a dream, dream, dream All I know is right now, I'm through

waves-Miguel

Don't stop, I wanna ride that wave All night, I'm gonna ride that wave Look here, I'm gon' surf in it baby Get turnt in it baby, put work in it baby Keep workin' it while I ride that wave Put it out, I'm on fire, fire That’s what I’m about, take me higher, higher, tonight (I'm gonna ride that wave) You got a body built for the beach Do you got that ocean? Body surf, don't sleep, body surf on me

Don't Wanna Fight-Alabama Shakes

What you like, what I like Why can't we both be right? Attacking, defending Until there's nothing left worth winning Your pride and my pride Don't waste my time I don't wanna fight no more

The Fire-The Roots & John Legend

There's something in your heart And it's in your eyes It's the fire, inside you Let it burn You don't say, "Good luck" You say, "Don't give up" It's the fire, inside you Let it burn

10 Lovers-The Black Keys

When I hear them use your name I get all choked up inside It's not only from the shame It's like ten different lovers died Except you're still just a mile away But there's nothing left to say Don't leave us down and out again Cause we might break instead of bend

Who-David Byrne & St. Vincent

Who’ll help the tired soldier? Far from his own hometown Carry these men and women Who get lost when the Sun goes down? Who is an honest man?

TKO-Justin Timberlake

Fair fight, knocked down, then I got over you Can't fight no more, you knock me out What am I supposed to do? Don't understand it Tell me, how could you be so low? Been swinging after the bell and after all of the whistle blows Tried to go below the belt, through my chest, perfect hit to the dome Dammit, babe

Young Men Dead-The Black Angels

And out of the black a figure forms A soldier in the sky With a drop of love Trying to set you free Run for the hills, pick up your feet and let's go We did our jobs, pick up speed now lets move The trees can't grow without the sun in their eyes And we can't live if we're too afraid to die

Good Times, Bad Times-Led Zeppelin

I know what it means to be alone I sure do wish I was at home I don't care what the neighbours say I'm gonna love you each and every day You can feel the beat within my heart Realize, sweet babe, we ain't never gonna part I feel good when I look into your eyes

taglist: @octobers-veryown, @melting-houses-of-gold, @velidewrites, @reverie-tales, @thesistersarcheron@ultadverb, @c-e-d-dreamer, @andrigyn, @foundress0fnothing, @vulpes-fennec ,@asnowfern,@mossytrashcan, @thelovelymadone, @the-lonelybarricade, @shadowriel, @separatist-apologist , @fieldofdaisiies, @stickyelectrons, @vanserrass, @panicatthenightcourt, @krem-does-stuff, @iftheshoef1tz, @damedechance, @headcanonheadcase, @cursebrkr, @andrigyn, @mossytrashcan, @thelovelymadone, @wilde-knight, @moonpatroclus, @stickyelectrons, @kataravimes-of-the-shire, @mossytrashcan, @sunshinebingo, @filthyglamdoll, @ablogofbipanic

#acotar playlist project #cassian #pro cassian #a little something for the cassian girlies #Spotify

[kiefbowl]

miss kief, since you're one of the most level-headed women on tumblr,, advice pls. today i found out everyone in my department is getting a raise - not a huge one, but still. i'm not. i've been working hard and it's such a disappointment. it seems they weren't even planning on sharing the news with me if i hadn't overheard. i genuinely thought we are on good terms. how do i handle this/speak to my boss w/o bursting into angry tears? i'm not good with confrontation 💀

so this question will get a two fold answer which is how to ask for the raise (because you should) and how to not be anxious about it (which I think is your bigger concern).

Part 1 Asking for a Raise strat - Yes, ask for the raise. The best best best way to do this is to go directly to your immediate manager face to face (or phone call if not possible), and say "it's my understanding [these people] are getting [x raise], and I share the same [job title/job roles], so I would also like to ask for [x raise]." You have now laid out your terms, explained why, and put the ball in their court. You are kicking off a negotiation, there isn't anything more you need to give them until they deliver or not. You don't have to answer them how you found out, who told you, how you know that, etc. If your manager or above asks how you know, you can just say "I just found out." A smart company would not badger you about it, because it basically confirms what you told them so it's bad negotiating, so if they do ask you can also say "So I'm correct, [these people] got [x raise]?" (small tip - asking questions is a great way to achieve "high ground" in a conversation/negotiation. Person A asks, person B responds with info, Person A now has the floor and is basically controlling the conversation.)

A smart and good manager will be not angry, and will not say anything more except "Okay I will discuss with [whoever they need to discuss with] and let you know." They should get back to you in 2 business days, and if they don't you can follow up and you can use email this time if you want. Don't go over your manager's head, only talk to your manager.

So now either 3 things will happen - they say yes, they counter, they say no or ignore you and string you along. If they said yes, boom you did it! Make sure you get a clear answer on the exact amount of the raise (dollars or percentage) and the date it starts (they could want to start it on the first day of the next pay period which is not insidious, and depending on how your company works that might mean you won't see it until your NEXT next pay check. get familiar with your pay stub! HR can help you out if you have questions)

if they counter, you don't have to accept it. You can counter too. You can either counter by playing ball by asking for something lower than what you first asked, or you can be firm on your original request. Same as the first time, lay out your terms and say nothing more until they come back to you (which might be right then and there in the same convo).

If they KEEP countering endlessly, say no, or never give you an answer, it's time to pull up your leverage. Your leverage in this situation is leaving. There are many slick ways to imply you will leave without straight saying it. Once when I was in almost this exact situation you described, my response when I was told no (which was not angry, but was super bullshit and with all sorts of corpo language), I took a beat and said (paraphrasing), "I know I have a skillset that is highly valuable in this industry" and left the room. in less than an hour I was called back in and told I got what I wanted. You don't have to be aggressive. I was furious but I was polite, direct, left the room to avoid confrontation. You also don't have to give a direct date you will leave unless you have that in your back pocket with a job offer you already have. It's essentially a "I'll remember this moment and I will dump your ass the second it benefits me, so watch out could be tomorrow we'll just wait and see" subtext.

Part 2 You want to cry - You know what, it's totally cool to cry at work. It's not solid negotiating fodder, but sometimes it is! You've worked hard, you feel slighted, overworked, and you're doing something brave and scary, so when you talk to your boss and your throat starts doing that closing up thing like so what, now your boss knows you are pretty upset by this.

Try to remember that even though your company does not make decisions with their employees' best interests in mind, they will make decisions for their employees' best interest if it also has their best interests in mind. It's also not always malicious. I think a lot of rhetoric goes around about how your work and job and boss do not care about you in a way that makes it sound like a shadow entity maliciously trying to hurt you. Sometimes it's just negligence and stupid behavior instead. Try not to take the decision to not give you a raise as a personal attack - in fact it might not be. It might be a complete oversight or maybe they did and forget to notify you. It sounds stupid but business only operates via people making decisions and doing things. Keep that knowledge in your back pocket when you start the convo - the best outcome is you ask your boss for a raise and they look at you funny and say "you got a raise, everyone did." If that happens, then the next thing would be to say "I wasn't under that impression" and have you and your boss talk to HR/Payroll and make sure everything is copacetic.

For more concrete strategy to try to approach this difficult conversation with less heighten feelings, even though you're going to use everyone else's raises as the reason to ask for the raise, pretend it's just you asking for a raise just because you value your work higher than they're paying for you. That's totally normal and people should be doing it often (but strategically), so have your "script" ready but in your head pretend you're having this conversation under completely different circumstances about uplifting yourself rather than the company overlooking you.

Okay, good luck! tell me how it goes :)

[ukiyoexo]

THE PERFECT ONE. — kjm

PAIRINGS — exo, kim junmyeon x reader

GENRES — best friends to lovers, fluff fluff fluff, slight angst

SYNOPSIS — after a ruined date, your best friend decides that you deserve to be treated in the form of a perfect night that leaves your heart warm and your feelings out in the open.

WARNINGS — swearing and sweetness

MESSAGE — hi, @amyeonzing i’m emma, your exol secret santa and this is my (hopefully not too shitty) gift for you. i really enjoyed the time i spent getting to know you and i must say that i think you’re pretty freaking cool!! thanks for putting with my somewhat sporadic asks, i hope this makes up for it

also thanks to mel and lolo for setting up the @exolssecretsanta, it really was fun and definitely worth it!

WORD COUNT — 2.2k+

"i hate guys." you let out in a huff, flopping your body into your best friend's bed, "i hate guys, i hate men, i hate boys, i hate those weird humans with the dicks hanging off their body. i hate them all." you repeat again more descriptively this time, the frustration growing in your chest as you continue your somewhat dramatic announcement. your hands gripping the duvet cover as your head buries into the pillow. the only sense of calm you gain being from the smell of cologne that lingers on junmyeon's sheets.

you don't hear or see him get up, but he does with a small chuckle, pushing away from the desk he was sat in front of at the other side of the bedroom and walking over to the bed calmly. he hovers over the side of the bed your laying on before deciding to crouch down next to you, one hand gently pushing on your arm in hopes of encouraging you to unbury your face. it takes a little convincing — it always does — but you do give in eventually, letting yourself be rolled over, your arms in reponse only folding over your chest as a pout forms on your lips.

"so you were saying," junmyeon nudges you to make room for him on the bed, "men equal bad?" he sits down once you shuffle over, doing his best to hide the small smile that is prying at his lips "men equal very bad." you nod in agreement, the stern look remaining on your face as junmyeon nods. “and why is that this time?”

you shake your head at his question, not really wanting to answer. if you were being honest, you found the truth quite embarrassing, even if you shouldn’t do, you just couldn’t help it. but then again, it was junmyeon you were talking. the man you had known since you were old enough to walk, the man you spent your childhood with, experiencing the epic highs and lows of being a teenager and now an adult. it being junmyeon made you feel a bit better at least and was only reason you were willing to admit the cause of your upset.

“i got stood up.” your face twists, eyes tracing the dappled texture painted on junmyeon’s bedroom ceiling. “i was supposed to go on a date last night with this guy i met through a friend and he fucking stood me up.”

junmyeon shifts onto his side, elbow bent to prop up his head, “oh,” he hums, face morphing into a sympathetic expression, eyes saddened. his hand moves to rest on your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles, “hey,” he begins gently, “there’s no point getting upset over this guy. if he couldn’t be bothered to show up to a date with someone as amazing as you, he’s not worth any of your time or thought in the first place.”

“ugh,” this was the exact reason everyone came to junmyeon for advice and you hated it, mostly because he was always right. you were letting some stupid guy, who you hadn’t even properly met, dictate your feelings and however much you didn’t want to admit it, it was stupid.

“ok.” you nod, lettting a small smile pry at your lips. “who cares about him, right?” you sit up promptly and junmyeon mimics the action. “right!” he cheers on with you but the joy is short lived. “it does still kinda suck though.” your body seems to deflate as the words pass your lips, shoulders caving in on themselves.

it sucked a whole lot in fact. not even because you cared that much about the guy, just the feeling that someone would rather leave you hanging than text to cancel.

junmyeon remains silent for a while before shifting off the bed, making his way around to the other side before grabbing your hands and pulling you up to. “y/n,” he begins softly, “forget him, yeah?” he nods encouragingly and you mirror the action reluctantly, gaze flickering away. “i’ve got a plan and it requires you to not be grumpy.”

your head seems to perk up at his statement, a plan?

your head tilts and it’s enough indication for junmyeon to begin explaining, “go on a date with me instead, a make up for last night.” he offers sweetly, hands clutching yours, and you swear you feel your heart beat fasten. “a date?” you question and he nods again, “a date.” he smiles back, “i’ll make it as perfect as possible and by the end of it, you will have forgotten that prick even exists.”

it hadn’t taken much convincing after that for you to agree, junmyeon was just a friend after all, and what’s weird about going out with a friend?

he had instructed soon after for you to go home and get changed, planning to pick you at seven for the beginning of your date. you had done so promptly, changing into your favourite ‘casual date’ outfit - whatever that meant - before fixing your hair and putting on a light layer of makeup.

and thankfully, unlike last night, when the planned time rolled around, junmyeon showed up too, a bouquet of flowers clutched in his hand that had your cheeks heating. his only reasoning being that you “deserved to know what a proper date was like.”

just a friend, just a friend, just a friend.

you have to remind yourself as he begins to drive after guiding you to his car, taking a deep breath as you scan the road signs you pass, hoping for any clue of where junmyeon might be taking you. the further you journeyed however, the more lost you became, city buildings morphing into fields upon fields. the car drive turning into what felt like more of an adventure as the minutes ticked on. “if you’re going to kill me, at least give me some warning.” you let out in a chuckle and junmyeon laughs back, his hand moving from the steering wheel onto your thigh. the feeling of his skin on yours leaving goosebumps prickling on your leg, “no murder happening here.” he squeezes his hand and just as quickly, it’s back on the wheel.

it’s weird, the feeling that bubbles in your stomach, almost like butterflies. but no, that was stupid. junmyeon was your best friend of course and that was it. even if he seemed to be the one you thought about most.

few words are shared after that, a quiet melody playing through the car from one of your playlists. your head resting against the window. you don’t even notice at first when the car rolls to a stop, junmyeon getting out first and promptly making his way over to your side of the car. the small giggle that passes your lips when he pulls open your door and holds out a hand leaving a rosy shade on his cheeks. he then retrieves the small weaved basket he had tucked in the car boot - the stereotypical picnic type - before gripping your hand once again, leading you down a small path.

it’s a small wooded area, up a slight slope, away from the concrete buildings and pollution. the moonlight weaves its way between the branches and leaves, leaving specs of silver dancing on the ground. rays highlighting the small blue flowers that sit in bundles in the foliage. it’s pretty. in fact more than that, it’s almost ethereal.

the world around you seems to glow, nature left to create its own bubble of serenity. the peace of the night only disturbed by the sound of your footsteps.

it’s a calm, however, that seems starkly contrastinf to the hammering in your chest every time you feel junmyeon’s thumb rub against the back of your palm. sure, you and junmyeon had held hands before, you had even cuddled and shared the same bed, you were best friends after all. it’s just that this felt different. felt special. it felt like something more.

you walk for only a couple minutes before reaching a clearing. it’s on the edge of the hill, surrounded by trees and seemingly secluded from the rest of the world. the only evidence of human life being the glowing lights of the city from what seems be miles away.

he lays out a blanket and places down the basket, opening it to pull out a collection of some of your favourite foods. god, he knew you well.

“how do you know about this place?” your head tilts, eyes scanning junmyeon’s features as you settle onto the picnic blanket. every soft curve of his face almost iridescent in the white glow of the moon and stars. “i just like to come here sometimes.” he responds rather simply, gaze fixated ahead. “when i want to clear my head, or need to be alone.” he continues, voice edging further into a whisper with each word.

“it’s nice.” you hum back, a small smile perched on your lips. “perfect in fact.” junmyeon gains a smile at that too. “i’m glad.”

you remain silent for a while after that, letting yourself enjoy the food and the comfort each other’s presences provided. you weren’t lying when you said it was perfect, it really was.

no one had ever done something like this for you, and you doubted anyone ever would again. it almost seemed too perfect, and somehow almost painful at the same time. to know that this was just a fake date per say and not the real thing left you with a bitter feeling in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t seem to get rid. but you couldn’t say anything, after all, junmyeon was just a friend.

“you didn’t have to do this, you know?” you whisper after another moment, “but i wanted to.” he responds quickly but gently back. a response that leaves a warm, fuzzy feeling growing in your chest that you can’t stop no matter how hard you try. “i know, but it’s just sad as well i guess.”

your words catch the man off guard, his head twisting in your direction, eyebrows quirked up slightly. “well it’s not real, is it?”

a silence settles once again. a quiet that’s more stiff than serene. leaving your hands sweaty and throat dry. you shouldn’t have said anything, you knew that, but you and junmyeon had always promised to tell each other the truth and that was what it was. the truth. this date wasn’t real. and that was the truth no matter how much you didn’t like it.

“i—” your best friend begins but doesn’t finish, instead shifting in his spot on the checkered fabric. “i guess.” his thumb fiddles with the ring resting on one of his fingers, “unless you want it to be.” he then mumbles, so close to a whisper that he’s not even sure you heard him, but you do. of course you do.

“do you want it to be?” you whisper out your own question in response, junmyeon letting it linger in the air before slowly nodding. his movements small but sure. “i want it to be real, if you want it be real.”

junmyeon admits and you feel yourself seemingly freeze in the moment. the truth bubbling in your throat ready to be blurted out. you couldn’t lie, you knew that, but admitting it was quite frankly scary as fuck.

“i want this to be real, i want something between us too.”

maybe you blurted out too much.

you can feel your cheeks heating with embarrassment, heart thudding so hard you’re sure it could break out of your chest at any moment.

but then he laughs, a small chuckle, a chuckle of disbelief.

it seems out of character for the junmyeon you knew but then he’s threading his fingers with yours and leaning so closely towards you that you’re not sure if anything is as you really know it. “me too.” he lets a smile pry at the corner of his mouth, face inches away from yours as his gaze flickers onto your lips. your gaze however focusing on his eyes. the way they seem to store a thousand stars and hundreds of joyf memories. the small flecs of gold running through the brown that somehow glow even at night.

“can i kiss you?” junmyeon hums and a breath catches in your throat but your head nods promptly nonetheless. the feeling of his lips against yours akin to the feeling of electricity, jolting through every nerve in your body, leaving every hair stood tall. his lips soft and so so gentle, yet somehow still emitting fireworks when you meet with them.

fuck. he was a perfect kisser too.

you pull back reluctantly, the need for air suddenly an inconvenience. you want to kiss him again, feel the electricity bolting through you once more, but instead you can’t stop this big grin taking over your features. “what?” junmyeon lets out in a breathy laugh, “nothing.” you shake your head back, letting your heart swell even more.

you copy junmyeon’s actions when he lies back on the blanket, eyes scanning the star lit sky. and you let him pull you close when he wraps an arm around your shoulder confidently.

“so, do you still hate men?” junmyeon’s head tilts with an almost cheeky grin, fingers playing with yours. you let out a breathy chuckle before shaking your head softly, “you’re an exception. the perfect one at that.”

#exolssecretsanta20 #exowritersnet #junmyeon fluff #suho fluff #exo fluff #junmyeon #exo #suho #kim junmyeon #exo fanfic #suho fanfic #junmyeon fanfic #suho angst #exo angst #junmyeon angst #suho smut #exo smut #junmyeon smut #chanyeol #baekhyun #sehun #kai #chen #kyungsoo #xiumin #lay

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: car accidents. Hey all, I'm seeking advice and opinions. I'm close to 30 now. I wanted to learn to drive the same age my peers did in high school but my mom wouldn't allow me because she said if I did I would get into an accident and die. From high school to now, I've undergone various traumatic incidents, have debilitating anxiety and panic disorder, and currently live as a shut-in at home. From time to time, someone will find out I don't drive (like relatives, parents' co-workers, etc.)

And they'll act completely shocked. Back when I was a teen I really wanted to drive because it's what all my classmates were doing like a rite of passage but now I never leave the house (this has been going on even before Covid). I don't know if I see a point. Plus my anxiety about driving got a lot more severe, thanks to my mom talking me out of it. Recently, I've been studying how to drive just as a random way to keep myself occupied since I don't work, go to school, or have a social life.

I literally picked it up the same way someone would pick up a random hobby since I had the manual laying around from 7 years ago and decided to start studying from it. But sometimes I don't really see a point in what I'm doing. I've reached a point where I've basically given up on life (this feeling isn't going away anytime soon since it's been going on so long already). I tell myself I can be content, as long as I have enough forms of escapism, like movies, games, and online distractions.

I've just accepted this is my life even if it's probably "sad" to others and honestly it's kinda sad to me sometimes but I didn't ask to end up this way, shit happens, and life doesn't always go as planned. In the end it doesn't matter if I do "normal" things like have a license by 30, it's just something that baffles random people when one of my parents tells them but in terms of what I do on a day to day basis and what kind of future I see ahead of me, knowing how to drive doesn't matter.

Anyway, I just wanted to hear some advice and opinions on this because I don't know if this is really something that I should care about and I've just been having mixed feelings and wondering if it's a waste of time. Nobody else knows I'm doing this and I don't really know how to feel about the fact that I've been spending time taking notes on traffic laws when I don't even have a life outside of my house. I'm really conflicted about everything. Thanks in advance if you reply to this. - Hey there,

It sounds like you've been through a lot.

Fears can be difficult to overcome, but it is possible. Avoidance strengthens the fear and anxiety, but you have to go easy on yourself and take things slow.

It can feel hopeless and futile to get your license when you believe that your life will be this way forever. When we're hopeless, it's almost impossible to change things. But things are never truly hopeless. Things can always change for the better. It isn't easy, I won't lie, but it is possible. It is definitely possible for you.

I think you should proceed with getting your license. Even one step in the direction of change and freedom can plant that seed of hope and lead to great changes in your life. This could be an indication that you are able to create change and overcome your fears and anxiety.

Don't try to change everything at once. I think the license is a terrific thing to focus on right now. Even if you aren't supported by people around you or are actively discouraged, remember that this is your life. It sounds like your fear of driving started with your mom, and it's understandable that her fears and anxiety were transferred to you due to this. I'm sorry that happened and that she isn't encouraging you. You deserve to have support and to have someone who wants the best for you.

A fulfilling, good life is possible for you. Never give up hope. Life is long and there is always time for change. Please don't resign yourself to a life you need to escape from.

- Misa

#trauma talks #mod misa #tw car accident #driving #tw child abuse #hopelessness #hope

[ldyinblckmsk]

Always the extra, never the lead

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x F! Reader

Genre: Angst

Words: 1.8k

A/N: Hey, guys! I'm back hoho serving another angst (if you squint your eyes lol). I hope I broke your heart or makes you feel pain or sad coz that's what i wanna make you feel while you read my piece oftrash. This plot is plaguing mah mind. Also, the title sucks lolololol I can't think of anything argh!

Enjoy :)

It's funny how people cheer themselves up by thinking that they are the main character of their own story. You think that it's  ridiculous to give themselves a fake hope while the fact that the cycle of their story doesn't change anything. They'll never be the protagonist, no matter how hard they try to be one.

That's why you gave up, right. You settle yourself to be just a bystander, watching the main roles act their piece under the big spotlight. Watching the man you love entranced by the stare of the girl he likes. See, it's not you. Because, after all, as much as you wanted to be the Cinderella or Snow White or any other damnsel in distress, he'll never be the prince that will save you. You're just an extra.

Confess your profounding love to him? You already thought of it and considering the consequences of it, you're just a coward who didn't want to jeopardize the only relationship you had with him. You're fine with being his bestfriend. At least, you still have an excuse to be at his house until midnight just hanging out with him. You can still wear his hoodies  and imagine yourself acting like how the other girls did to their significant other.

That until she came.

He spent less time hanging out with you. He rarely even talks to you and ask if you're still breathing. As if all of a sudden, every memories you spent with him vanished like a bubble when the narrator introduced his leading lady. Of course, you were jealous, infuriating to be honest, she stole your man, the ash blond you were crushing since you laid your eyes on him. And the thing that makes you go insane is the fact that you don't have the right to be angry because he's not yours to claim.

The only thing you can do is sit there and let yourself drown in pain. Pretend that you're fine with the set-up and act normal. You didn't want to mess up the play, don't you?

Fine, my ass. You're not a masochist.

They're still not together, that means she's not his either.  They're still at the phase of knowing each other, so you still have a chance to confess. There's no way that they already fall in love with each other that fast.

Here you are in his room, laying comfortably on the silky sheets of his bed, staring at the ceiling. You just invite yourself to his house.

"Hey, dumbass! Are you even listening to me?" His voice snapped you out of trance. "I'm sorry. I got a lil dizzy for a sec. What were you saying?"

"You alright?" The hint of concern on his voice didn't go unnoticed by you and you just cherish this moment that way you always do. Your breath hitched when you felt his cold hands touch your forehead, his other hand on his comparing your temperature. The small act of friendship makes your blood rush to your cheeks.

"Geez. I'm fine, Katsu." You rolled your eyes at him, swatting his hand away. As much as you want to prolong the skinship, you didn't want to make yourself become a flustered mess. "Now, what were you saying?" You propped your head with both hands under your chin, as you roll on his bed now laying flat on your stomach.

"I said are you coming with me this Friday night. We're just going to eat." You looked at him suspiciously. For a second, your heart triumphs.

"Wow, you already want to see me again."

"Tch. Just say yes or no, idiot." You chuckled at his scowling face. "Just admit that you missed me, grumpy-chan."

"You're a pain in the ass."

And just like that, you didn't have any decent to sleep as you were so excited for Friday to roll. Whatever plan he has, you can't help but to think that it's like he's asking you to go out with him. Ignoring the second line he said, you let yourself dive in fantasy.

It's Thursday and you're still conflicted on what to wear, you asked for help of your friends. Surprisingly, they agreed to help you right away without raising their brows and questioning you about the date with the 'mystery man'. 'Cause they already know who it was, just from how eager you look.

Your love for the blond isn't news to them. Being classmates and friends for almost three years, they already knew how your mind works though they didn't really know how frenzy and complicated the wires in it. They just know the surface of it.

"How about this?" Mina showed you the haltered red dress that ends just above your knee. You decided on it right away which makes your friend shakes their head at your eagerness. After that, you're just casually having fun, giving you advices and tips on your so-called date from their experience.

You saw him leaning on his car, permanent scowl on his face while constantly checking his phone. You eyed him from your position, awe struck at the ravishing aura he oozes. The white dress shirt he's wearing highlights the muscle he workrd so hard to built. He looks so clean and sinful at the same time.

"There you are, grumpy-chan!" You walked towards him slowly, smacking his back as your usual greeting, smile plastered on your face with the hint of blush spreading on your cheeks. You watched him stunned for a while, eyes roaming to your body. "About fucking time. Let's go."

You were surprised when he opened the door for you but you just shake it off. He's gentle, seems like his careful with his actions.

He glanced at you for a moment before he went inside the car. His heart went wild when he saw you. He thought you looked prettier when you dressed up. He always saw you wearing baggy shirts that's why when you showed up with that tight dress he malfunctioned for a bit. You looked bold and sexy like a predator hunting its prey, quite opposite from the girl he's pining. He shakes the thoughts of you away as he began to drive.

Akiya is full of sunshine and rainbows. She's sweet and looks vulnerable like an antique dishware that needs to be taken care of. And he has the great urge to protect the quirkless girl. Funny, how he was so bully to Deku being quirkless and  here he was falling for one.

He was so upset to himself when he found out his stupid affection to the girl. Their constant talking amd bubbly personality made it possible to like her. But everytime he's with her, his mind straying away to your well-being. He knew that you have feelings for him but he didn't dig further because you're not vocal about it. With how much his time was spent with you, he cared deeply for you. He loves you, of course, but it isn't like kind of love you felt for him.

After sorting out those endless thoughts, still, his adoration for Akira weighs more than your friendship.

That's why he's inviting you to dinner with him.

The anxiety is bubbling up inside you. The look on his face screams that there's something going on inside his head that you're not ready to unravel. Call it instinct but something feels odd. The ambience around you doesn't suit your guts. You're beyond happy that you're having a good time with him but there's this unsettling feeling that's eating your inside.

Is this what you think it is?

He's the one who initiates the conversation first, sensing the awkwardness in your table. Feeling blue, you just answered him with nods and short words. Clenching your jaw as you forced yourself to smile naturally. It's not really that difficult for you to do it since you are good at hiding.

The dinner was served and you just sat there, eating in silence. You don't dare move your eyes from your plate. You felt him checking on you for the nth time of the night then followed by a sigh.

You fucking knew it. Your grip on the knife was tight while slicing the tender beef. You're silently praying that you'll have the control of your emotions tonight. The night is still young but the 'date' is nearing to end. 

"Y/n, just don't fucking talk and listen to me." His hand combing his spiky hair in frustration. He didn't know how to break it to you without hurting you. "What's with the serious talk, grumpy-chan? It's not like you, ya know." You laughed.

"I said I'll do the talking, idiot." You rolled your eyes at his remark."You know Akiya, right?"

"Uh, yeah, she's the girl you like, right." You said with an obvious tone in your voice, smiling, almost seemed like you're teasing him. Almost. Because the bitterness you felt left a hint on your voice.

Silence. No one dared to speak. Not because of your last statement. It seems like gods are not in the mood to heed your prayer as you desperately trying to stop the tears that you didn't know were already falling. You inhaled deeply, calming yourself down, slowly accepting your defeat.

You were the one that breaks the eerie silence. "So, you two are already together. Is that what were you going to say to me? Or is there anything el–" 

Oh.

Realization strucks your chords. How can you be so fucking simpleton? A small laugh leaves your mouth while nodding your head crazily, new batch of tears forming in your eyes. He only watched you, confused.

"Oh my god! You fucking knew it. Am I right?"

"Y/n–"

"I'm a clown. You knew I love you yet–" You laughed again. People gaze at your direction, feeling pity at your state. You are mess right now.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Yes, I knew it. I knew your feelings but your my bestfriend for fuck's sake!" He raised his voice, bloodshot eyes lingering at your form.

As if like you flipped your switch, you looked at him with blank eyes, no emotions were found as you speak to him. "Is it entertaining? Is it funny to watch me make a fool of myself? Am I stroking your ego when I looked at you with fucking heart eyes huh, Bakugou? Tell me."

"That's why I'm fucking talking to you right now. I want you to stop it. I need you to stop loving me because I can't reciprocate it...I love Akiya."

"I know! Don't fucking rub it on my face. I know it. I already knew it! Okay? And yet here I am still fucking hoping that there's still a chance." You're desperately trying to sound fine, wishing for your voice not to crack. "I-I'm still fucking praying that I wish it's me. Why the hell it can't be me? Why, Katsuki?"

No, you're not going to break down in front of him. That will be last tears you'll shed. You shut your eyes tightly, regaining your control over your emotions. You didn't spare a glance at him, looking yourself at your mirror while retouching your make-up. You grabbed your phone, texting Mina to pick you up while you're talk to him. "Just so you know, I'm not going to cut ties with you. If that's what you're worried about. I'm still your friend, dropping the 'best'."

You looked up at him, eyes meeting his for the last time. You saw his pained expression, clenching his jaw when he looked away.  You get up, ready to leave. "Another thing, next time when you reject someone don't do it over a fancy dinner. That just gives them a false hope and that's fucking painful." You chuckled.

Bitter smile plastered on your face,  you prepare yourself for the conclusion of the story. Walking to his side, you bend to him while placing a kiss on his cheek, whispering your final dialogue as the side character.

"Goodbye, grumpy-chan."

#bnha x reader #bnha angst #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bnha #mha bakugou #bnha bakugo x reader #bnha bakugō #bnha bakugo katsuki

[shannendoherty-fans]

TV Guide, February 13, 1988

No Sassing Grandpa!

Our House's Shannen Doherty, 16, is concerned about her character's behaviour–and its impact on viewers.

By Helen Newton.

Shannen Doherty hunches over her high-school algebra textbook, reluctantly penciling problems in her least-favorite subject. Her teacher hovers over her. The two are alone in a small, dingy trailer that, despite a tacked-up poster and a forlorn bit of artwork, lloks nothing like school. This is the location classroom for NBC's Our House, whose three child stars (Shannen, 16, Chad Allen, 13, and Keri Houlihan, 12) are legally bound to squeeze three hours of daily lessons between scenes.

"It must be difficult," comments a visitor to the teacher, "going to school like this, all alone,no friends, no football games . . . ."

"Are you kidding?" interrupts the teacher. "They love it. What kid in his right mind wouldn't trade six hours in school day after day for this?" She gestures broadly at the controlledhubbub that fills the city park around her.

Just then an assistant director knocks on the door. "Time to get ready, hannen," he calls, and the actress, saved from solving for "x," bounces happily down the steps of the schoolroom, up the steps of her dressing room and into a costumer's impossibly conservative version of a punker's get-up.

Shannen's character, Kris Witherspoon, normally tends toward preppier attire–she does have her heart set on attending the Air Force Academy–but in this episode, she's trying to teach her crusty grandfather, Gus (played by Wilford Brimley), not to judge people ony by appearance. In Our House, one resident or another learns something uplifting every week.

"With our audience [young teens and families], I think we have a responsibility to set good examples," Shannen says earnestly. "There are drugs and so many other things that kids can get into trouble with that Ithink, if we can help, we should." But then good examples seem to come as naturally to Shannen as they do to Kris. Earlier this season, for example, she confronted a script that had Kris casually mentioning condoms. "It wasn't important to the plot. It was just a casual thing," says Shannen, her cheeks hinting at a blush. "I was uncomfortable with it and I thought Kris would be too, so I asked if they would take it out." They did. And Shannen tells of a scene in the episode being shot today that called for her to scream angrily at her grandfather. "I don't think Kris would sass her grandfather. She's let him know she was angry, but she'd be more respectful." Out came the sass.

Shannen doesn't believe in sassing her mother either, though she has ample opportunity: Rosa Doherty is with Shannen every day, all day, beginning with the hour's drive from their San Fernando Valley home. California law requires the presence of a parent or guardian until a child actor reaches 16, but Shannen, who will turn 17 in April, has asked her mother to stay on for at least another two years.

They're close, these two. "My mom's my friend," says Shannen unaffectedly, and you believe her. The two share a lot–beyond a mutual enthusiasm for Laura Ashley wallpaper, animals and their Baptist church, there's obviously their dedication to Shannen's career.

Rosa watches over Shannen carefully–what ordinary mother can confer with her child's teacher several times a day?–and she adamantly opposes allowing her daughter to work longer than the 10 1/2 hours required daily. But when Shannen is busy, Rosa finds plenty to occupy herself. Everyone on the set knows her: she joshes with the costumer, the hairdresser, the other children's mothers. She lays plans with Shannen's publicist and manager. And she readies Shannen's fan mail so Shannen can answe ir. ("A lot of kids ask me for advice," Shannen says. "Kris is so together that naturally she'd know what to do. Meanwhile, I look at the mail and think, 'Oh, no, what do I say?´")

But Shannen does know what to say–like the time two years ago at the beginning of ninth grade when she announced to her mother that she wanted to go to school like a regular kid. "It was the beginning of high school, and I wanted to get situated," she says. One semester was enough, however. "There are plenty of kids around work for me to be friends with," she says, when asked whether she misses the social experiences of high school. "There are Chad and Keri, and on the Lorimar lot there are the kids from Valerie's Family. And I met my boy friend"–she says this slihtly shyly, as if unaccustomed to the term–"on the set of Max Headroom." (Since then, Shannen has decided to attend school in her senior year. She plans to fit her TV work around her academic schedule.)

The next week, the next episode, the next location–this time 40 miles north of Los Angeles on the woodsy shores of a lake. It's lunch time; long tables are set up above the lake and Keri trails Shannen around and between them as they play with the two assistant directors' walkie-talkies. Shannen's handle in this game is "Sugarplum," a nickname some of the truckers who worked for her grandfather in Memphis called her when she was little. The assistant directors look benignly, almost paternally, on.

"We feel lucky," says Rosa. "This show is like family. The crew is great. And Wilford really cares about people." Although Brimley refused to talk about his young colleague, citing a dislike of publicity, Shannen and Rosa say the show's star is generous in other ways. They've been guests at his Utah ranch. Shannen, sharing Brimley's interest in horses, bought one from him two years ago, though she's since sold it back to him. "It was a quarter horse,and I'm more interested in Thorough-breds," she says. And Brimley takes a deep interest in the health of Shannen's father, Tom, who, like Brimley, is a diabetic.

The week before, at the city-park location, Tom had shown up, clearly almost as at home on the set as Rosa. "Everyone loves my dad," says Shannen. "He likes to cook, and sometimes he brings food for the crew."

Belying his hearty appearance now, Tom Doherty suffered a stroke in 1983. Although Tom says it was the best thing that ever happened to him because it forced him to slow down, Rosa says, "It was very hard on the famiy, but we got through it as a family. the children came to occupational theraphy with us so they could understand and support the process." Shannen adds, "I used to draw him a picture every day and hang them all around. It cheered him up. It was pretty scary, seeing him not able to do a child's sorting game." Now almost completely recovered, Tom says, "I have an easy job that allows me to do things like stop by the set occasionally and spend more time with our son, Sean." Sean, 20, is ambitious, too,but his area is politics. A conservative, he's actively involved in his local Youth Republicans group. In 1986, he was elected a GOP official in Los Angeles. "Our son needs attention, too," Tom says, 2and sometimes his mother doesn't have time."

Rosa's timefirst became a rare commodity when Shannen was 10 years old. Over her mother's initial objections, Shannen became active in a children's theater company, where she was spotted by an agent. He arranged an autition for the role of Drucilla Shannon in Father Murphy. "It was like fate, because I have this lucky doll named Drucilla and my name is Shannen and I was determined to work with Michael Landon [creator of Father Murphy]," Shannen recalls. Drucilla the doll went along on the audition, though she stayed in the car, and sure enough, Shannen got the part. She also won the continuing interest of Michael Landon, who cast her in Little House: A New Beginning and in an epiode of Highway to Heaven.

"I'd like to work with her again sometime if she's available," comments Landon. "She's got a good head on her shoulders. She's very conscientious and determined." Those qualities were, in fact, what drew him to her when Shannen was a 10-year-old. "Even then you could see that she treated this as a business. She really wanted the job for herself. It was not a case of a parent wanting a show-business career fora child, which is often the case. I'm very proud of her."

William Blinn, co-executive producer of Our House, echoes Landon's thoughts. "Shannen is like her character. She's a very dedicated kid." With the show now in its second season, Blinn hopes the work will continue to be there for her. Our House has the unenviable task of taking on CBS's warhorse 60 Minutes. "It's counter-programming to the max," says Blinn of his show's effort to attract a young audience. And so, while the ratings have not been spectacular (the highest so far this season was 14.5), Blinn says NBC is pleased to be a solid second in its time period.

Whether the show has a long run or not, Shannen intends to. Like Kris, she has goals in mind, and if co-star Deidre Hall (Shannen's TV mom, Jessie) is right, "she'll get anything she sets her mind on." With her manager and her mother, she's looking into various film and TV projects. "I plan to get into feature films and eventually to direct," Shannen says confidently.

A visitor asks her what sort of actress she sees herself becoming in the future–the next Ally Sheedy, perhaps, or Molly Ringwald?

"The next Shannen Doherty! I'm one of a kind," she declares boldly, then lapses into a self-conscious giggle. "Really," she says, more seriously, "the person I try to model myself on is Katharine Hepburn. She's really into her work."

But before stardom, there's college. A California university makes the most sense if she wants to work at the same time, Shannen says, but there's still something about the sound of Harvard, Princeton or Yale. . . .

"Really?" says her teacher later. "That's ambitious. She'd better get to work on that math."

#1988 #Shannen Doherty #1988 TV Guide #news #1988 article #TV Guide Feb13 1988 #gene trindl #1987 photoshots #1987 gene trindl #1980s #1988 acting career #Our House #1980s acting career #1980s article #1980s Shannen Doherty #1980s TV Guide #1988 Shannen Doherty #1980s quotes #1988 quotes #quotes #Rosa Doherty #Tom Doherty #Michael Landon

[tehfabbooty]

Jealous Part 1

My first attempt at a Zuko X Reader and an ATLA fanfic. I just love the idea of a jealous dom Zuko. 😍

*Takes place book 3 after Zuko gains their trust, made up an island*

........

"Sokka you literally ate twenty minutes ago."

You looked over to where Katara and Sokka sat, Sokka leaning over the saddle on Appa's back, grumbling about being hungry and glaring into the sky.

"Well I'm sorry, but can't a growing boy have needs?"he demanded, turning around to glare at his sister.

"Sokka, you almost ate the food meant for Momo and Appa,"Katara argued back.

"Ugh, chill out waterboy, before I make you a special kind of food,"Toph threatened.

Sokka perked up joyfully. His eyes were huge as he excitedly asked, "Really?? What is it?"

The blind earthbender grinned. "A nice, tasty delicacy I make for people all the time called a ROCK CAKE!"

You burst into giggles from your corner of the saddle while Sokka's face went from drooping in disappointment to a quick glare in your direction.

You didn't know this, but Zuko was smiling to himself as he steered the bison next to Aang. He had a huge thing for you, and hearing you laugh was one of his favorite sounds. So when he got to hear it, he revelled in it, letting your music-like laugh be the only thing he focused on. Secretly.

Which was a good thing he wasn't the only pilot considering you laughed often. Otherwise they all would have been completely lost.

Which is also why Aang usually offered to sit with him. He knew of his crush on you, no matter how hard Zuko tried to hide it. Aang noticed the signs real quick, considering Aang was going through the same thing with Katara. But he didn't dare tease him for it just yet. He didn't feel like falling off Appa anytime today. But he did plan on talking to Zuko about it later, just to try to give him some advice.

It was evening by the time the group arrived at a place called Kuidaore Island. Apparently, according to Sokka's research, Kuidaore Island was said to be one of the finer islands in all of the nations. The city was known to have anything and everything you could want, from clothing to goods to food to pets. So of course Sokka begged to take a small vacation there.

Softly landing Appa on a nice flat area of grass a few miles outside city limits, the gaang slid off of Appa's back and unpacked their things, setting up camp for the night.

As you wrestled to get your sleeping bag unhooked off the saddle, your foot started to slip and you started to fall off the bison's back.

"Shit!"you cursed, thinking you did so under your breath.

But Zuko was in earshot. He ran over from his spot around the campfire and caught you just as you let go of the sleeping bag, landing bridal style in his arms.

It knocked the wind out of you for a second. But just as you were about to say thanks, you lost your breath again when you realized who had caught you and was still holding you.

And staring into your gorgeous e/c eyes with his own golden ones.

Thank God it's getting dark, you thought as your face blushed furiously.

"T-thanks, Zuko,"you stammered as he slowly set you to your feet.

He didn't say anything. He was still staring at you.

And you didn't mind at all.

You stared back into his eyes, but before more could happen, Sokka shouted angrily, "MOMO! DID YOU EAT MY LEFTOVER BLUEBERRIES I SAVED FOR TONIGHT??"

Startled, you tore your eyes away to watch Sokka holding an empty bag upside down in front of the animal while glaring down at him, one hand on his hip like he was a scolding parent.

Giggling, you watched Momo chirp and rush off to hide in Appa's fur while Sokka groaned frutratedly.

"Well I guess we need to go find some food then,"you giggled, not noticing the death glare Zuko was shooting at Sokka.

Zuko softened his face before turning to you and saying, "Oh, uh, yeah. Would you like some, uh, company?"

You smiled st him, laughter still etched into your features. "Of course. I love your company."

Zuko smirked back, the green-eyed monster inside him relaxing a little, loving your words and your smile at him.

Later, after dinner, the gaang huddled around the fire again to discuss the next day's plans.

"Okay,"Sokka began. "To go proper food hunting - sorry Zuko and Y/N, but a few squirrels isn't going to cut it - we need to start here. This is where all their best food is made from what I have read." He pointed to a spot on the map he had found awhile ago.

Katara scoffed and rolled her eyes while crossing her arms, a smirk on her mouth. "Can't you think of anything but food, dear brother? It's like right after helping Aang defeat the fire lord, your second priority is finding something to fill your stomach."

Sokka opened his mouth to retort, but quickly closed it again, knowing she was right.

Aang piped up then. "Why don't we all split up and explore certain parts of this place?"

"I don't know, Aang. We are still sort of wanted by the Fire Nation...,"Katara said worriedly.

"Then we can find disguises. I think there are some houses outside the city we can scavenge,"Toph suggested.

"True. But isn't Kuidaore more of an earthbender's city? You'd be fine Toph with your clothes. But we would definitely have to change your hair and take out the hairband,"you replied.

"What? What's wrong with my hair?"Toph demanded, offended.

"Nothing! Just that if those guys are still hunting you, you need to not be so recognizable. Maybe change some things,"you said quickly.

As the group discussed tactics and how to make Toph unrecognizable, Zuko zoned out of it altogether as he watched you talking animatedly in the conversation. He loved the way your hair flowed down your back, how your nose and eyebrows scrunched up in thought. He loved the way the sunset threw lighting in all the right places, making your gorgeous eyes sparkle.

Meanwhile, across the fire, Aang noticed Zuko watching you and grinned to himself. He loved seeing his now-best friend being himself and finding happiness. Even if that happiness hasn't completely occurred yet. But in time it will, Aang will make sure of it.

Finally, the conversation started to end as the light of the sun faded away. You stood up and stretched, yawning.

"Well I think I'm gonna call it a night. Goodnight guys. See you in the morning,"you announced as you walked back to your sleeping bag, which laid next to Appa.

Finally, Aang thought. He jumped to his feet as everyone dispersed to their beds. He watched Zuko head off towards a tree to lay down, and followed him

"Hey buddy. Can I talk to you for a minute?"Aang asked as innocently as possible.

Zuko groaned to himself. He was so tired. He needed sleep.

But he turned himself to face the avatar, allowing a polite smile to adorn his face. "Uh, sure. What's up?"

"Uhh, come with me. So the others can't hear."

Zuko followed Aang away from the campsite and more towards the trees. As soon as Aang deemed it safe, he turned to his firebending teacher.

"So uh, I noticed you're madly in love with Y/N,"Aang began awkwardly. He was so terrible at starting conversations about awkward topics.

Zuko's eyes bulged out of his head. "Uhh, what? I-I-I don't know what you're, uh, talking about,"he lied, face going pale as the moon.

Aang laughed, earning himself a glare. He held his hands up in surrender. "Relax. I'm not going to tell her, I swear. I just wanted to, uh, kinda give you advice on a few things."

Zuko's eyebrow shot up. Aang, a twelve year old boy, - granted, he was born a hundred years ago - giving Zuko, a sixteen year old, advice on dating?

He chuckled. "Yeah, like what?"he asked, his arms crossed while smirking.

"I'm serious! I really do have some tips!"Aang shot back. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Look, you're going through the same thing I am right now and that's why I noticed and no one else did."

The fire prince's eyes squinted in confusion."You are? With who?"he asked curiously, his arms falling to his sides.

Aang nervously scratched the back of his neck. "That's, uh, not important -"he began, but Zuko snorted.

"Oh so you can pry into my love life and I can't do the same to you?"

Aang groaned. Running a hand down his face, he admitted, "Katara. I love Katara. Happy?"

Grinning, Zuko answered in his smartass tone, "I never am."

Aang laughed, then wiggled his eyebrows at him, saying, "But you are now, aren't you? I see the way you look at her."

His face reddened. "Y-yeah, she makes me happy. I really love her, Aang."

Aang smiled. "See? Not that hard to say out loud. But you want to be careful."

Zuko's golden eyes shot back to Aang's. "With what?"

Aang sighed before looking away. "Make sure it's the right time. And by that I mean, don't push her into anything, like making a decision. Your best bet is probably after the war, since our focus is on defeating your father. You don't want to confuse her and distract her from the task at hand, which could ultimately get her, you, or all of us killed."

Zuko nodded in understanding. "You, uh, wanna talk about it?"he asked awkwardly.

Aang shook his head. "Nah. I'm okay. Just remember what I said though."

The fire prince bowed in respect to the avatar. "Thank you, Aang."

Aang started to turn back, but spun around quickly again to add, "Oh by the way though. I'm 99% positive she's into you too." He winked and skipped away, leaving a blushing firebender to stare after him.

#zuko #zuko x oc #atla #atla zuko #zuko x reader #jealous zuko #jealous #fanfiction #jealous!zuko x reader

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 24

I should really put effort on summaries, right? Anyways... Enjoy! ❤️

Table of Contents

Going Dark - Part 3

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

Roach never would have guessed that MacTavish was a big time. Their 'old' house was already a mansion, complete with guest rooms, extravagant furniture and even an outdoor pool. Roach could stay here forever.

He was laying on a queen sized bed relaxing after a tiring chase earlier when Ghost knocked on his door and let himself in.

"What's wrong mate?" he asked, lifting only his head. Ghost leaned by the door and crossed his arms.

"You know how I got into a little argument with France back in Brazil right? Well, I still regret it ever happening…" he frowned, as shown by the way the fabric of his mask twitched.

"You regret which part? The fighting or the telling her what you feel?" Gary asked, cornering the ever vague Simon. He always does that when it comes to asking for advice.

Ghost ran a hand across his face and groaned.

"Bloody Hell, mate. Why do you have to ask those kinds of things?" he complained.

"So I could be clear as to which one I should recommend you to do." He replied quickly. He was very willing to help, but if Simon refuses to cooperate, then maybe he could handle it on his own.

"There's still one thing… I've been meeting with Alexandra not just for intel… " the tone of his voice was hesitant but he took a sharp inhale and continued.

"... we've also been sleeping together. No strings attached. For her it eases her tension from all the work while I try to forget about my feelings for Francine."

Gary didn't know what to say. Simon wasn't the kind of person to give up easily, and he fully understood the reasons for his latest actions.

"Well, it looks like Francine already made her choice, right?" Gary asked, trying to confirm from Simon that he already lost the battle.

"I'm not quite sure. Everytime I see her, she's physically distancing herself from Soap but later that night, they actually slept beside each other. She's making me confused and it still makes my heart beat for her…" Ghost admitted. As tough as he is on the battlefield, so was his admiration toward Francine. Gary pondered on how to help out his friend in this love triangle situation he caught himself in, but every direction he thought of would result in Ghost actually ending up sad.

The discussion was interrupted when a plane was heard from the distance, as it approached the nearby open area. It looked like the girls made it home.

"Looks like they're here." Roach sounded excited while Ghost looked worried.

~

It was impressive how they managed to bring most of their stuff from Brazil here in Scotland. It wasn't that much but the idea of packing things for six people in a hurry made Roach impressed.

"How did you bring most of this stuff?" Roach curiously asked Maxine as he helped her carry her stuff.

"Well, Samantha asked for help from his Dad and they immediately flew to Brazil." Maxine replied cheerfully, Roach loved how she managed to see the bright side of everything amidst the panic.

"So will Samantha-"

"No. They had a long talk with his Dad and she felt much safer back here with us. Her Dad wanted to offer help now that the New York Attack was over, but Samantha insisted, especially now that they're out hiding."

"Doesn't he have the power to like, pardon us for being wanted? That would make life much more easier for us."

"I thought of that too… but they're seeing Shepherd differently now. He's gone mad. And they want to corner him. Any action involving him may result in a global cripple. And I just heard all this on the plane ride here." Maxine frowned.

"Then that makes our job of locating him all worth it." Roach smiled giving hope to Maxine.

Maxine just nodded, her face was full of fear and doubt. She just wished all of this was over.

With Soap probably asleep, Roach had the liberty of touring the girls around the house, it was huge and spacious that each of them could occupy a room with about two more rooms to spare.

"Man, I could stay here forever." Roach mused as they walked the halls of the second floor. These four rooms are already occupied, most of the empty rooms are over there…" Gary pointed to the other end of the hall. Maxine looked at France and nodded as they both agreed to stay in one room.

"What about you, Miss Samantha?" Gary asked with sophistication, imitating a butler. Samantha giggled and blushed.

"I'll actually be sleeping with Alex, thanks Mr. Sanderson." she replied, playing along with Roach's role play. For a short moment, Roach felt relaxed. He hasn't felt like this for a while and it was too overwhelming. But while the enemies hid in the shadows, he was sure the team would be up for a tough fight anytime soon.

Despite being tired, Roach couldn't sleep. He felt that there was something or someone else he needed to consult. So, he decided to get up and get himself a glass of water down the kitchen. While he could hear himself gulping down a glass of water, he could also hear faint thumping from the basement. With high alert, he began descending down the stairs to investigate the source of the sound.

It was Simon. He was still up and doing sparring rounds with a red punching bag, each of his punches sent the bag swinging violently.

"You okay?" Gary finally asked, alerting Simon of his presence.

"Can't sleep." he said nonchalantly, giving the punching bag another mighty punch. Roach took a minute to admire the huge gym Soap had, each piece of equipment probably spent a fortune. He slowly paced to the small area filled with equipment and grabbed himself some boxing mitts and a protective helmet.

"So, why don't we resume our little talk?" Gary called as he presented himself to Simon on full boxing coach gear. Simon immediately positioned himself and Gary did the same as they began training with the intention of talking it out.

Simon's punches were heavy, Roach could feel a little emotion on each hit he made and it was starting to make him unstable.

"So, anything you'd want to discuss?" Roach initiated, his hands carefully met his punches as they circled around the area.

"I've been trying to ignore her, Gary. You see me try right? But the more I don't think of her, the more excited I get when I accidentally see her. It's frustrating." He explained in between his punches. There it was, the thing bothering him the most.

"What did she say back in Brazil? She probably said something that kept you from moving on. I can't think of anything else that might cause you to feel this way, unless you're lying." Roach tilted his head so he could see Simon's reaction. His punches stopped coming and he just stood there, his hands dropped to his sides.

"She… she didn't say anything… but she distances herself to John while I'm around."

"John MacTavish or John Price?" Gary interrupted, in an attempt to brighten up the mood, but instead all he got was Simon's 'are-you-kidding-me-right-now?' look.

"But when I'm not around, she finds time to see him…" Simon continued. Gary took off his gloves and tapped his shoulder.

"She… she was being considerate." Simon concluded. It looked like Gary did his job. He could feel Simon's shoulders relax upon realizing what was actually going on.

"Despite all that… she sacrificed a little just to not hurt you." Gary added, he had no intention of making Simon guilty but now that he realized it, he was making an impact toward the relationship that was blooming between Soap and France.

"Thanks, Gary. For being a great friend…" Ghost took off his gloves and walked out of the gym.

"... and the worst therapist." He joked with a grin as he walked up the stairs and left Gary in the gym.

"I hope you find your peace, Simon." Gary muttered.

The following morning, the team was already busy walking around the house. Soap was on the phone with a long list of things the girls ordered for their restock. It was planned that for the time being, the team was to stay in the MacTavish residence while Nero and Shepherd were off the grid.

Price and Jack started their own little command center inside Soap's father's office just by the living room. They began creating connections to their closest contacts to track activity from their enemies. Ghost seemed to be not around at the moment and Gary guessed he's still asleep.

Soap nodded a greeting to Roach as he walked by him on his way to the kitchen. Maxine and France were out opening drawers and anything in the pantry to clear up space for supplies. From the kitchen window, Gary spotted Samantha, Alex and Nikolai in front of a truck. Gary overheard that Nikolai wanted to go back home and he guessed today was the day he'd do so.

"I didn't know what kind of sugar you needed so I kinda ordered a bunch of em." Soap announced to the sisters and they laughed.

"The clerk kept asking me of brown, white, confectioners and some other and honestly I don't know which." he shrugged and scratched his head.

"Hey man, I was just wondering… why did you choose the risky life? When you had everything you ever needed here?" Gary asked the question that has been bothering him since he got here.

"I dunno Roach. It's just that I knew it was calling out to me… You also sound like my Mum when I told her I'm joining the force." he chuckled. Gary just nodded but still didn't understand his logic. But he dismissed the thought as soon as Maxine and France asked for his help reaching something by the cabinets.

The rest of the day was busy. Once supplies arrived, everyone else was preoccupied. Lifting boxes, arranging items, looking for intel. It was like they made their own 141 base inside the house.

By the time they're almost free, Roach and Maxine were already in the kitchen preparing for dinner.

"So, any new dreams lately?" Roach initiated as he sliced through the vegetables they're cooking.

"Piece by piece. Last night I remembered having gum stuck on my hair on picture day. I cried a lot." she giggled. Roach smiled, he was glad she's getting her memories back which made him remember of Samantha's case.

"Ow!" Gary winced as he accidentally cut a short scrape on his thumb. He was so busy staring at Maxine that he forgot he was chopping.

"Don't worry. It's just a small wound." Gary assured as Maxine pulled his thumb close to her mouth and blew air through it, just like when you're a kid and you do that to ease the pain.

Gary couldn't help but smile at her immediate action. She also looked concerned and worried about his welfare.

"Hey Max." he whispered, making the girl turn to him, her face was so beautiful in Gary's eyes.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing… It's just that…"

"What is it? You're making me worried"

"I really really like you, Maxine Winters."

Maxine looked at him in the eye, the eye contact they were doing was starting to make the world fade behind them.

"Guys! I have bad news." Soap interrupted, causing everyone to form a small circle by the living room.

"Ghost left. With a note saying he'll try to gather more information on Shadow Company with Alexandra's help. He says thanks and that he'll see us all soon." Soap summarized the note. The room fell silent.

Next Chapter : Off the Grid

Notification Squad my Beloved

@samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @smokeywhalee @whimsywispsblog @beemybee @ricinbach

#horrayfic #john soap mactavish #codmw #john price #simon ghost riley #alex echo 3 1 #gary roach sanderson #whateverittakes #Hahaha see what I did there

[thatravenpuffwitch]

Henry McClarnon | Gryffindor | Halfblood

“Don't need no advice, I got a plan

I know the direction, the lay of the land

I know the score like the back of my hand

Them other boys, I don't give a damn”

— The Man by The Killers

#henry mcclarnon #hphm #hphm mc #hogwarts mystery #my edit #gryffindor #looking at photos of Booboo never fails to make me want to make Henry contact lmao #but yeah #might do a series of these collage edits...

[ltleflrt]

Hi! So i've been reading your fics for years, and just recently started following you on tumblr. You're great! And I was wondering if you possibly had any advice for someone trying to get through writing a large fic? I've just recently gotten back into writing, and what I thought would be a quick write has mutated into several chapters and feels a bit daunting. Even if you could just point me in a direction would be appreciated!

Hello!  Welcome to my messy corner of this hellsite(affectionate)!  Please don’t mind the stacks of reblogs, I promise I’m working on organizing them ;D

Getting back into writing is exciting news!  Taking breaks is supposedly good for the muse, but it’s not as fun as writing that’s for sure lol

It’s hard to give general advice without knowing what you’re struggling with specifically, but I can give you a rundown of my process.  It’s as messy as my blog because it’s something that just happens to me.  I suffer from longficitis and I’m ALWAYS surprised when I manage to write something quick and short.  The first fic I ever wrote was supposed to be a 1200 word one shot, and 2 months later was 78k, so uhhhhh.... oops? XD

Anyway!  I don’t plan shit, and I always think my stories are going to be short.  I am the very definition of a Pantser.  I write a little scene, and then I think “huh, I could expand on that”, rinse repeat.  This means I often write myself into corners, or into mysterious fogs that hide the future plot from me.  So at this point I whine.  Whining is VERY IMPORTANT.  It vents the frustration while also making me lay out what I’ve done so far and what I want to do and the options to get from here to there.  That’s a conversation I’m able to have without the whining component, but honestly the venting that comes with whining is cathartic and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.  Shoutout to @jupiterjames and @bendingsignpost for putting up with me when I get like this lol

And that brings me to the most important part of writing longfics (or writing in general, really).  Finding people you can talk it out with.  Someone you can bounce ideas off of, who can also be like “oh but you know what else you can do?” (because it’s not like I don't’ have a million plot bunnies breeding in my brain already, I must adopt those my friends offer me as well).  Now I know I make that sound simple, but it’s not.  Finding someone whose muse gets along with yours can take a while.  In the meantime though, find yourself a writing group.  Right now the writing group I like to work with is in the Profound Bond server’s writer cafe channel.  There’s always folks in there who will help me find the right word, help me rephrase a sentence I’m stuck on, encourage me, and talk out fic ideas with.  Sometimes I end up DMing someone and we chat it out privately.  And they’re WONDERFUL cheerleaders.  Sometimes it’s fun to just go in there and see if anyone wants to do a writing sprint, and see how many words can happen in the next 15 minutes.  You can find more info about them @profoundnet. 

Lets see, what else...?

Schedule writing times.  I write 1 hour a day, but not always all at once.  Sometimes it’s 15 minutes here, 30 minutes there, sometimes I manage to do it all in one sitting.  But I try to do it around the same time every day so I can get in the mindset for it.

Track your words.  It’s FUN and encouraging.  Don’t look at low wordcounts as a failure, ever.  Every number is a good number, because they all mean progress.

Keep notes of ideas about the story. It doesn’t have to be an outline, it can be messy and unorganized, just make sure it’s written down where you can find it.  Revisit the notes file whenever you’re in the mood to be creative, but not in the mood to make words happen.

Don’t be afraid to drop plot points if you feel like you can’t fit them in.  You might be able to use them somewhere else, either later in the story or in a whole different story.  Your favorite plot ideas will be better served in the right story that fits them, rather than forcing them to fit into a story that is wrong for them.

Try not to let the word count intimidate you.  Even after all the 100k+ fics I’ve written, I still look at my stories at the beginning and think “oh gods what have I gotten myself into?” and that could easily discourage me or anyone.  Just keep writing, you’ll get there eventually.

Some people like to write the exciting scenes first and then fill in the spaces.  Some people like to use the exciting scenes as their carrot on the stick to keep them chugging along.  I’m in the latter group.  Figure out which one works for you, and use it as a motivational tool.

Feel free to skip scenes you’re stuck on!  You can always come back to it later.  Heck, you might even figure out a way to skip it altogether and streamline the story.  Or by writing what comes after, you’ll figure out what kept you stuck on the skipped scene and now you’ve got your solution.  Longfics never need to be written in order.  (I mean, I usually write them that way, but I think I’m kind of an exception to that?  I dunno, we’re all different, and that’s neat!)

Anyway, I don’t know if any of this is new or exciting advice, but I hope it helps.  Good luck, friend!

#writer's angst #rachaellikesyaoi

[dercolaris]

Eleonora

Here you go, @temarcia - already done and translated. Scriddler of course. It’s extremly sad, but welp, I can’t help it. Sort of my style tbh. 

Thanks again to @shin-arei for helping me with the translation <3

The fitting song:

https://youtu.be/ZzqTGTAuzLw

Uhm, yeah.. Have fun everyone.. 

The faint rustling of the wind slipped through the leaks in the dirty window, filling the small room with an unusual background noise. Jonathan lay completely motionless on the soft mattress, just listened to the fascinating sounds around him and registered slightly light-headed how the environment around him slowly changed. He blinked a few times against the persistent darkness, then smiled dejectedly. Basically, those noises were all he had left. As much as the former psychiatrist wished, his eyesight would never return. Hoping for it was a waste of time. The thin man turned on his side and ran his right hand over the velvety fabric of the bedspread. It tickled slightly, leaving an almost pleasant tingling sensation on his demolished skin. The brown-haired man mumbled to himself: "One would think that I would have got used to this eternal darkness, but to say this would be a bold lie." The Master of Fear sighed softly. Speaking his thoughts out loud at least gave him the deceptive impression that someone was right by his side and would give a meaningful answer after a while.

The reality was of course different. That longed-for answer would probably never come. He was a prisoner of his own nightmare and every attempt to break out of it failed miserably due to the fact that no one could turn back time. There was no hope. No light. Just darkness. Jonathan dug his fingers deeply into the warming fabric, burying his face in the comfortable pillow under his head. His body began to tremble by itself. The former psychiatrist didn't really mind the chilling temperature around him, but that evening the coldness held him in her icy hands. A stranglehold he couldn't really escape. The thin man suddenly felt a single tear find its way over a multitude of scars on his cheek and slowly slide down. He wiped his cool skin quickly. This whiny behavior was more than unacceptable for a seasoned academic like him. A thickening lump in his throat, however, indicated that all his efforts to stand against his feelings would fail at some point that night. You could ignore the sadness, banish it, deny it, curse it - in the end it would surface and lead to a downright collapse. With this in mind wasn't it actually wiser to give in to this inner urge to show emotional weakness? Now that he was alone?

The brown-haired man sat on the edge of the bed and put his hands on his knees. A few seconds passed without anything happening, brought a frightening realization for the criminal. He couldn't cry. Jonathan clenched his knees. No more tears would come. He couldn't really give his feelings the needed space, even if it would give him some relief in his troubled soul. It just didn't work. The spiral of thoughts in his mind was spinning again without ceasing. His left hand slid sideways into his straw-like hair and held the heavy head uncertainly on his thin fingers. He chewed his lower lip almost helplessly, staring at the floor with his blind eyes. The Master of Fear was about to rise from the bed when he heard a suspicious noise from the corridor. Out of habit, his opals looked at the door, or at least roughly in its direction. His brain still pretended to recognize shadows and outlines that he had seen sometime before the incident. Well-known places were impressively reconstructed from his memory. It doesn't matter whether these have changed drastically in the meantime.

This often led to unexpected difficulties in his orientation. In general, the familiar gave him security, and every novelty around him immediately stumbled him. The former psychiatrist listened into the darkness. Was it possible that he had just misheard? Quiet steps in the hallway quickly ruled out this possibility. Despite the noises, the gaunt man felt no fear or discomfort. He didn't own anything of value in his apartment and if a homeless person was content to use his nearly empty refrigerator, it shouldn't matter to him anymore. The brown-haired man had stopped eating two weeks ago. His hunger had long since passed and this circumstance made it at least possible for him to stay in his home. Nothing would be worse than wandering around outside Gotham in his wrecked condition to the amusement of all the gleeful people on the streets. The former psychiatrist pressed a hand to his cramping stomach. Even if the stomach occasionally rebelled, in the end it gave up constantly crying out for food. Most likely, the organ knew that this would remain just a wish and that nutrients would no longer force their way into the esophagus.

The pain slowly subsided. A cold wind played around his bony figure. The Master of Fear had long since decided on a quick way out of life and it was only a matter of time before death would knock on his door. It wasn't the plan to actually go the long road of starvation, but as long as he didn't know exactly how to do it, there was at least the hope of not waking up one morning due to lack of energy. The steps in the corridor came slowly closer and suddenly fell silent on the other side of the door. The thin man waited cautiously. The screeching of the hinges snuggled painfully against his ears, signaling that someone was entering the room. There was a thud, and then - silence. Suddenly it had become so quiet. Where was the wind? Where were the cracking branches? Where were the ravens in the tree tops? Jonathan looked around, disoriented, looking in the dark for the unannounced visitor.

After a while he heard the unusually low voice of an old friend: “Hey John. Don't worry, yeah. It's just me.” The former psychiatrist tried to fake a smile. Slight goose bumps crept down his back and gradually spread over his skin. He looked in the direction of the visitor and spoke in an alarming weak voice: "Edward. What a pleasant surprise. I'm very happy to see you again.” Those words hurt more than he expected. The former psychiatrist closed his eyes and heavily swallowed his emerging emotions. He heard the quiet steps again. Suddenly the tinkerer sat down next to him, the mattress gave way under the weight of the black-haired man. The Riddler breathed evenly, a long-forgotten warmth emanating from his body. The younger one finally spoke calmly: “You can hardly talk about seeing me again, right? I heard what happened and, yeah, how should I say that. I'm sorry, John.” The Master of Fear shrugged his shoulders slightly. Before he could reply, the other went on quietly: “I wasn't sure whether I should really come over or not. I mean, after the whole Waylon thing, you suddenly distanced yourself from everything and everyone and stopped showing yourself in public. Fuck, the underground has already made bets on whether you are dead or not."

The lean man laughed dryly at this message. He shuddered from the surrounding cold and had the strong impulse to take refuge in the warm embrace of the inventor. Contrary to his wishes, he replied exhausted: “I hope you were right with your bet. As you can see, I'm still alive.” To his astonishment, Edward didn't react calmly as usual. He didn't seem to be particularly amused by the statement. As if to confirm, the black-haired man hissed under clenched teeth: “It's not funny at all, John. Seriously. I just got half a shock when I walked in the door. You got so damn thin. Is there anything left at all? Only skin and bones it seems. When was the last time you ate something?” The former psychiatrist pressed his lips tightly together and stared at the floor in dismay. There was an awkward silence. Suddenly the older man felt the hand of the inventor on his. The Riddler slowly put his fingers around his, warmed his chilled skin. Even without his eyesight, the Master of Fear knew that the other was staring at him, waiting for answers.

He finally replied hesitantly: "I'm fine Edward. I don't need any help.” Both knew that this claim was nothing more than a lie. The younger one tightened the grip on his hand and didn't seem to let go of it again. Jonathan only shivered harder. The contrast between the inviting warmth of the black-haired man and his dying body increased with every passing second. He really wanted to be close, but at the same time there was a nagging fear of rejection. A monster like him was no longer allowed to receive affection. The tinkerer grumbled sourly: “You can fool the rest of the world, John, but not me. Should I put a funnel in your mouth and stuff you with food until you have some meat on your ribs again? Or would you prefer a cursed feeding tube? Your fucking decision.” The brown-haired man winced noticeably. He knew that he had always meant a lot to the younger man. Probably more than he wanted to admit.

There was a deeply hidden passion between them that had grown with each meeting in the past and almost exploded before his imprisonment. Only their worthless pride had prevented them from giving in to their lust in the end. But this was once upon a time. Jonathan was more than certain that the inventor had only come to him out of pity and would now look around for a more handsome partner. After all, the inventor wasn't exactly unattractive. Edward suddenly sighed softly and seemed to be reaching for something on the floor. Probably his shoulder bag. The black-haired man spoke calmly: “I brought you something. You have told me often enough that you love Edgar Allan Poe and that I should read something from him when I got the chance. I followed your advice.” With these words he put an arm around the older man and pulled him closer to his chest. He gasped in surprise, but did not evade the embrace.

He could hear the Riddler open a book and slowly turn the pages. Jonathan's heart suddenly began to beat faster. A few seconds passed before the younger one finally started reading aloud: "Eleonora by Edgar Allan Poe from 1842. I am come of a race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion." The inventor's voice lit up the room with its soft sound, penetrating like a light through the darkness. The Master of Fear listened carefully. An indefinable feeling spread in his soul, touched him at points that he believed he had lost for a long time. Each additional line of the short story carried the gaunt man on, taking him to places he had avoided out of fear. Places of memories. Mostly memories of better times.

Tears pooled in his gray eyes, slowly running down his cheeks and falling unchecked off his chin. Edward, however, just read on, bravely struggled through the sometimes difficult formulations. "… for the Spirit of Love reigneth and ruleth, and, in taking to thy passionate heart her who is Ermengarde, thou art absolved, for reasons which shall be made known to thee in Heaven, of thy vows unto Eleonora.” The Riddler finished the short story, carefully closed the book. He apparently put it aside and finally wrapped his other arm tightly around the trembling figure beside him. The former psychiatrist cried silently, his weak fingers clutching the black-haired man's shoulders tightly. Edward whispered hoarsely: "John, I ask you, whatever you do, do not give up. I can really take a lot of your bullshit. Your hatred, your scorn, your rejection. If you scream in my ear right away that I should please get the fuck out of your life, that's okay too, just please don't die. I would not stand that. Your death is also my end and I'm afraid of dying so early in my life.”

The brown-haired man pressed his eyes tighter together and only held on to the younger man even more. The tinkerer slowly put the blanket around their body, giving the former psychiatrist the long-awaited warmth. The silence this time was extraordinarily beautiful. Reassuring. Balm for a broken soul. The younger one finally pulled him onto his lap and closed his arms around his narrow hips, pressing his fingertips into the worn clothes. Jonathan's lips quivered when he breathed softly: "Don't let go of me, Edward. Please, don't go. Stay."

#DC #Batman #arkham verse #Jonathan Crane #edward nygma #riddler #scarecrow #scriddler #riddlecrow #temarcia

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon and other anon it makes me really happy that you like my au! I only planned for Foolish Jr. To be the name of a special totem Foolish had that he gave to Ran (its special cause while it can be used as a normal totem, if broken it can summon Foolish as a small part of Foolish is in the totem. It can also be used multiple times and repaired as many times as needed, which basically made it Foolish's personal totem). Though for Finley, I have it so the group stumbles upon a desert village that manages to point them in the general direction of Foolish's home. But I realize they wouldn't actually be able to find it, so I'll have Finley find Jackie who manages to convince her to take them to her father's temple/home. 

1: Yep. While Ranbob did tell Ran that his memory has been getting better, Ran still is a bit hesitant and treats everything as if Ranbob will forget it. Ranbob did tell him Dream caused it but Ran didnt believe him.

8: Cletus, Grievous, and Jackie I would all consider anarchists. Although Grievous may be less of one than the other 2. A bored group means finding stuff their not supposed too and screaming. 

11: Shocked, relieved, happy, a bit sad, and impressed. Even when Ran booted him off the top of the King of The Hill, he was still relieved and happy his brother was alive. 

----------

14: No one in this au, in the sub Brothers + Others. Ranboo, Phil, and even Techno get to throw Jackie. Though Jackie only got willingly thrown by Ranboo and Phil. For Techno he just kinda got in the way so Techno picked him up and threw him into nearby bushes. Also, I HAVE NEWS! I decided Raq will kidnap Ranbob, as this could be the perfect push to make Ran go "Oh fuck. I really do still care for him." And have Ran run out into the middle of the night to find him. With the others following behind by a hour or two. 

-------------

Duel wield :). Just imagine you have to fight Techno just to see him wielding two duplicate strong ass swords and he's like an extention of them cause he's so good at using them. 

More emotional pain than you think, but somehow also less than you think. Don't ask me to explain cause I'm not sure how I just get that vibe from the group to be honest. I'm sorry.

All of the above, Tubbo tells Jackie the long running joke of Ranboo being the main character due to his incredible luck with finding rare things or getting out of situations. And Jackie gives Tubbo blackmail by saying how Ran once willingly stepped into water because he never had a big fear of it growing up (cause Mizu) and he actually forgot that water hurts him. 

If one does spark a city will fall. 

Yeah, they all kind of make group sessions where they all sit down, exchange known information and look at it while trying to piece it together. They also exchange suspicions and conspiracies they have. 

He succeeds in convincing Ran that people aren't always as they seem and that some actions have a much deeper meaning. Like he uses how he lives with Techno and Phil and how they where feared anarchists that once ruled a world wide monarchy and where known as basically immortal because no one could even get close enough to hurt one of them. So he was scared of them when he first moved in, and how while it was rough at first, he learned their reasons for destroying L'Manburg, see how Techno wasnt the monsters others said he was, was given training and praise by Techno, and a father figure and someone who made it clear how much they cared for him by Phil. And he never expected any of that, so he tells Ran to attempt to get close again to his brother, cause his brother hasn't changed that much, but he needs to get closer to see. But he fails in stopping agurements because whenever he gets involved he gets yelled at and he doesnt have enough prior knowledge to completely and truly help. 

Sapnap and Karl say they dont really mind, cause they where never really close at all with anyone in any haunting group (for now). But they also feel a weird separation from everyone else, not a massive one but like there's a small wall between them and everyone else.

Anger, mostly from Techno. Cause Techno is pissed Dream is still around and its when this information gets out Techno basically states that their all staying until Dream is laying dead at his feet. To which Phil, Ranboo, and Sapnap all happily agree. Ranboo is surprised and feels awful. He feels like its his fault that Dream has tortured his descendants. Phil is just as angry and eager to kill Dream as Techno. Sapnap is also pissed and eager to be face to face to Dream so he can say exactly how disappointed he is in him (cause he knows Dream still cares about him, even if slightly). Tubbo and Karl are hesitant to kill Dream. Mostly because their scared of how killing Dream will affect the timeline and are still worried about how they'll get home. 

It doesn't get worse but it also doesnt get better, it mostly stays the same until Ranboo snaps and says something that really affects them. In which the fighting does get a bit better. 

Other anon, here is your reply!

-----------

1: Oh no, that's not good.

8: Sounds like a recipe for sweet chaos.

11: Aww, that's sweet. Also makes the following events more painful.

---------

14: They should toss Tubbo and Jackie at the same time, just one immediately after the other. Also, very fun! How does Ranbob get kidnapped? How does the whole rang react to it? How quick do they get him back, how do they do that, and what happens in the aftermath?

---------

Terrifying image, I'd flee immediately. Bad enough that he had one, people must be absolutely horrified that he's gotten ahold of an exact replica of his powerful blade.

Honestly, I think they just radiate that feeling in general, anon.

Pfft. Oh that's hilarious. How many times does Ranboo's Main Character energy come into play? Does Ranbob forget he can't go in water too? How many times have one of the ender siblings just went to step into a puddle or something while their groups panicked?

What kind of pranks do they have in mind to be so destructive??

Interesting. What kind of theories do they have so far?

On one hand, that sounds like very good advice, and potentially offers Ran wanting to get to know the other two more. On the other, all I can imagine is Ranboo being really cryptic and ominous while his descendants are just like '???'.

For now? Do they get closer to them? Does anything spark this?

I'm curious, what exactly invokes those feelings for Techno and Phil? Ranboo and Sapnap I can understand, with Sapnap feeling some responsibility for Dream, and Ranboo for his descendants, but as far as I know, weren't Dream and Techno somewhat allies? Did Dream do something back in the past to gain the two's ire? Or were they angry for a different reason? How do the others react to Tubbo and Karl's hesitation, both before and after knowing their concerns?

What does Ranboo say that does it?

#Brothers AU #dream smp #dream smp au #tales from the smp #ranboo #ranbob #technoblade

[babieyangyang10]

violent ends (chapter 8)

(chapter 8)

series masterlist

genre: hunger games!au

pairings: huang renjun x oc, na jaemin x oc

warnings: language, mentions of blood, fighting, deaths, mentions of sex

A/N: I’m curious, tell me if you’re team Renjun or team Jaemin!

previous | next

Athena's POV

Sixty.

That's how many seconds I have before I have to step off this metal circle. It's all the time they give us to survey our surroundings. I look around to see the other tributes scattered randomly, all facing towards the cornucopia. Heart thumping, I spot Jaemin on the complete opposite end.

There are supplies almost an arm-length away from me, however everyone knows that the most useful supplies is placed in the mouth of the Cornucopia. Almost beckoning for me to take one, knifes are displayed on the walls.

Thirty Seconds.

I'm counting down in my head. Should I grab the book bag in front of me in case there's a weapon in it? But then, by the time I get to the Cornucopia, others will already be waiting for me with their fresh pick. However, if I'm quick enough I could get them while their backs are turned.

Twenty seconds.

Breathe. I look around to see no other than Haechan placed exactly to my right. That's a huge problem. No matter what I choose, he's going to be right on my trail. But the bag is so close!

Bag or Cornucopia?

Fifteen seconds.

My eyes dart, back and forth trying to come up with a decision. Then, suddenly I question how I will even be able to find Jaemin during the chaos, if he decides to ditch me and run away to the lake. He wouldn't, right?

I look him in the eyes and discreetly nod towards the Cornucopia, praying he gets the message. Or that he even saw it, considering he's about 20 tributes away from me.

Now back to the bag situation.

10 seconds. Big, yellow letters appear on a screen in the Cornucopia, counting down. 

Back and forth, I struggle to come up with a quick decision on which I should do first. However, when I look over to my left, over two tributes away is Renjun. Noticing my visible distress, he shakes his head at me.

"Don't." He mouths.

I get into running position and keep my eyes on the knifes. Guess I'll give up on the backpack. Although, since Renjun is officially my competition now, should I trust his input?

Is this a secret plan between the three of them to collectively slash me to bits?

5 seconds.

Fine, I've made up my mind. Okay, Huang Renjun, I'll forget the dumb fucking bag.

3 seconds.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Breathe you fucking moron, before you pass out.

2 seconds.

Then, I hear it, the gong. My body takes over and I'm sprinting as fast as I can. I'm so close now, I can practically already feel the blades in my hands. My lungs are burning, but I don't care.

I reach out and grab several, random knifes from the wall. However, once I turn around, my whole body collides with the sharp wall behind me. A boy from District 5 has his bare hands around my throat, making me drop the knifes.

Pivoting my body to the right, I strike his arm with my left palm. Once he falls forward, I use the same arm to lock around his neck. Squeezing as hard as I can, I grab whatever I can from the wall with my free hand and thrust it into the side of his neck.

Blood violently seeps in squirts from the wound onto me, as I release him from my hold. I grab my dropped weapons and a backpack by my ankle. When I look up, I am greeted by absolute madness.

Lee Jeno is standing over a young girl from District 3 with an axe stuck in the middle of her head. Meanwhile,  Renjun has just slashed open the District 8 boy's neck. Too occupied, they don't even notice me running past them. However, I feel someone leap on my back, causing me to crash face-first into the ground. I use all my strength to roll the large boy off of me, before stunning him with a sharp and painful punch to the nose. Wasting no time, I jab a knife into his throat, before pulling it out to keep.

Jaemin.

I desperately try to look for the blond boy, but he's nowhere to be found. There's beginning to be less people, meaning the Careers will spot me if I stick around much longer. While they're occupied with hacking away at the poor tributes, I decided to immediately follow Taeyong's advice of collecting water. It's important that I get there before Renjun does the same. I sprint through trees, trying to achieve a safe distance.

Once I've gotten away far enough to no longer hear the deafening screams of the dying children, I could softly hear the sound of moving water masked under the chirping birds.  At this moment, I can't help but feel jealous of them. They have no idea what's truly happening beneath them.  Stuck in their own little world, safe from harm's way in the trees. Even if something where to happen to them, they have wings to fly away with. I guess, they remind me of the people from the Capitol.

As the sound of water gets louder, I make sure to tread quietly. The Careers can't be far, and right now I'm alone and vulnerable. God, I wish Jaemin was here right now.

Noticing the dirt become muddier as I walk near the sound, I know I should be extremely close by now.

Snap.

Alerted, I quietly crouch behind a tree. Knife ready, I wait until the crunching of leaves get close enough, before I jump out and tackle the noisy perpetrator to the floor.

They put up a good fight too, attempting to push me off their back. During our wrestling, I notice them looking around frantically, probably looking for their weapon since they dropped it during the tackle.

Suddenly, the head becomes locked in one direction. Following his gaze, I see a trident laying on the forest floor.

A trident?

They notice me pause, throwing me backwards into the ground. My head smacks backwards against it, my eyes shutting in pain.

Once they open, I am face-to-face with the sharp prongs of the trident.

Cowering backwards, I frantically say, "Jaemin! It's me."

Once he realizes, the alerted look on his face fades away into one of concern, "Athena, are you okay?"

Jaemin chucks his weapon to the side and thoroughly looks over my face and body for injuries.

"It's not my blood," I assure him, "Ran into some people at the Cornucopia." 

"It's literally everywhere. Here, follow me to the lake, so you can wash it off." He gently pulled me up off the ground.

Grabbing his trident in one hand and my own hand in his other, he leads me to the lake. We crouch down by the waterside. My hands scooping up some water to cure the dryness in my throat. Then, I began scrubbing off the blood from my face and body.

"What happened out there? I couldn't find you at the Cornucopia." He asked, curious.

I watch the blood fading away into nothing in the river, as I speak, "I made it to the center. The guy from District 5 tried to choke me out right away. Then, after I started looking for you, I got tackled by a guy I couldn't see."

Frowning at the now clear water, "Honestly, for a second, I thought you left without me, when I couldn't find you there."

"I wouldn't leave you. We're in this till the end, okay?" Jaemin promises.

"Til the end, then," I agree, "What happened to you?"

"I only got to this," He held up his trident, "before Haechan is launching at me with bow and arrows. He kept chasing me, and before I know it I ended up far behind the back of the Cornucopia.That's where I spotted this lake from. He kept calling out for me, but eventually I guess he just gave up. That's when I decided to leave and set out to find you."

Taking in his words, I point out, "It sounds a lot like they were trying to purposely separate us, so they could kill us easier. Don't you think?"

"It makes sense, " He suddenly laughed, "it's funny though, we almost killed each other for them."

"I'm sorry for tackling you like that." I apologized.

"It's fine. Is your head okay?" Jaemin softly patted the back off my head.

"It is now." I bat my eyelashes, playing it up for the cameras. Looking around, I notice some  flowers sticking up through the water, surrounded by Lilly pads.

"What are these?" He curiously picked one from the water.

"They're pond lilies. They're good for infections and burns. Plus anti-inflammatory too." I remember what Taeyong taught me.

"Hm, so smart," He smiles down at me, before tucking the flower behind my ear, "and pretty too."

I don't hide the way my cheeks flush. Just like they did last night, when I was with Renjun.

Distracting myself from the thought, I decide to look throw the bright orange back pack I picked up after killing the District 5 guy. While rummaging through it, I found a pack of crackers, a pack of dried beef strips, a bottle of iodine, a box of wooden matches, a bit of coiled wire, glasses, and an empty black water bottle.

Grabbing the bottle, I began to fill it up with water for later. Then, I place it back in the backpack along with some of the knifes I've been holding onto. While doing so, Jaemin proceeds to try on the glasses.

"Wow, these really do suck. I can still see the sun." He murmurs, looking around.

"Then, they're probably supposed to be used during night. That'll be useful for hunting. Speaking of hunting, you hungry?" I ask, feeling my stomach rumble at the first mention of food.

"Yeah, let's go."

Renjun's POV

Jeno, Haechan, and I had decided to turn the Cornucopia into our own little camp. We had  all the supplies we could ever need. I mean, sure, there's about ten bodies just laying around, but home sweet home, right?

However, right now it wasn't feeling too sweet.

"What the fuck happened out there, Haechan? The plan was whoever was closest to her would kill her as soon as she stepped off the platform. You were the closest." complained an irritated Jeno.

I don't feel guilty that Haechan is unknowingly taking the hit for me. In fact, I was the one who stopped her from getting that bag and immediately dying by the bare hands of Haechan. I'm not sure what made me do it. I keep telling myself that maybe I was thinking about her being defenseless and unable to put up a fair fight would be unfair.

Or maybe I'm just pussy-whipped after last night, I don't know. My hand subconsciously goes to the hidden mark she left near my collarbone. Although I can't see it, I can feel the slight pain as my fingers pass over it. A reminder of last night.

Ripping my hand away, I try to tune back into the argument to avoid popping up a boner, while on live national-fucking-television.

"She was just too fast. I was sure that huge dude from District 5 was going to finish her off for me," Haechan suddenly remembered something, "Besides I was the one who made sure they were separated like our Plan B said to do."

I guess he's right. If we were able to kill them, we were going to do our best to separate them. Without Athena, Jaemin probably couldn’t survive, since District 4 is entirely a beach district. That fish boy probably has no idea how to survive for a week in the woods.

On the other hand, Athena, for some reason, needs him just as much. The three of us had debated on the reason why. Maybe she’s using him for his fame and sponsors? Although, she had received a lot of positive attention based on her own charms. She didn’t need him for that.

That’s what led us to the conclusion that she had a little girl crush on him. The thought makes me sick. I thought the Lee Athena I grew up with, would never waste her time on a guy like him.

As the sky becomes dark, I wondering what they’re doing now. Are they dead? Or still all alone? I can imagine Athena, hiding in a tree all by herself, frightened and scared. A little part of me wonders what would happened if she joined the Careers. Would she be here right now sitting next to me? Listening to these annoying boys bicker with each other.

Where are you, Lee Athena?

Maybe they found each-other. Maybe they’re looking up at the same sky right now.

I can see it. Them huddling close together, blaming it on their need to keep warm for the night. His arms wrapped around her, tightly. Her head resting against his check, watching the stars.

God, it makes me sick.

#nct dream smut #nct smut #nct au #nct #nct dream #nct dream imagines #renjun #jaemin #jeno #haechan

[imaginejamesandsirius]

hey! so, i love your work, literally im in love with your stories, i think I've read them all like 7 times. I don't know if you are ok with trans characters, but trans sirius comming out to james, (they are already dating) and james being kinda confused at first becouse, how is the relationship supposed to keep going? and at the end he is ok with it, angs and fluff please:))) sorry if i had any mistakes, English is not my first language:)

((A/N: Warning for some transphobia!!! James is trying his best but has a reaction that’s kind of transphobic because he’s never dated anyone that’s trans. He works through it during the fic, but if that’s something that might bother you, you might want to consider skipping this one))

"So," Sirius said. 

"So," James echoed. They'd agreed to talk about sex before trying anything. It sounded adult and healthy, and not like anything James had done before. Most of his relationships had started with sex. First time doing anything with a bloke had been because he sneaked out of school one night and found a queer pub. He'd been too young to be going, obviously, but he'd gotten his first kiss there. He hadn't been out to his parents by the time they passed, so his relationships had exclusively been late night encounters and illicit meetings-- not so illicit the older he got, but it had never been open until he started dating Sirius. "I'm- I mean, I'm pretty much up for anything. I've never been really picky. I'm... ready whenever you are, basically." 

"Right." Sirius chewed on his lip a little, turning that over in his head. "I should- erm, I guess I should tell you that I'm. Erm. I'm trans. So. Y'know. There's some things I won't be comfortable doing. And er. I know that's a deal-breaker for some people. If it is for you, you should tell me now." 

James blinked. "Oh. Er. I don't- er." 

Sirius looked a little crestfallen but tried to cover it. "Yeah. I kind of expected that. It's fine. I should- I guess I'm going to go." 

He started to stand, but James stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Don't- I mean- I just." He clamped his mouth shut so he didn't keep stuttering. He took a deep breath. "Can I think about it? I've only ever dated... I mean, you're pretty much the first person I've ever dated. And I've only ever shagged- well, people with dicks, you know?" 

Sirius nodded. 

James dropped his hand, and Sirius straightened the rest of the way. "I just need some time to think about it." 

"I can give you a couple days, but James... I'm not going to wait around forever. Either you're alright with it or you're not." 

"A couple days is fine," James hurried to say. "That's all I'll need. Thank you." James stood and gave him a quick kiss and flash a smile that was weakly returned-- he didn't want for Sirius to think that he didn't like him anymore. "I'll call you, alright?" 

Sirius gave a small nod, then he left. 

James threw himself onto the couch. He couldn't do this by himself. He was an utter dumbarse; he knew this. He needed outside help. Remus was trans so he'd be able to see Sirius's point of view on this, but James didn't want to inflict this conversation on him. Remus had another shite to deal with without having to walk James through his insecurities. That left Peter. Peter was probably the better choice since he was the one dating Remus. James reached out and grabbed his phone. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey Pete. I need some advice." 

"You're asking me for advice? Bloody hell, the sky must be falling. Alright. What is it?" 

James opened his mouth to say 'so Sirius is trans and I could use some advice since I'm bollocks at this dating thing and am only good at sex but it turns out that what I know isn't going to help me any' only to stop cold. He couldn't tell Peter that Sirius was trans. There were rules about this sort of shite. "Nevermind." 

"Okay-?" 

James hung up on him. He'd apologise later. Who the hell was he going to talk to? He couldn't talk to anyone that had met Sirius, but he still needed someone he was close enough with that he could talk about this sort of thing with them. He scrolled through his contact list. Lily. Bloody hell, that's right; Lily was back in the country. She'd gone to the States for a few years to study, and they were supposed to meet up for tea this weekend to catch up before she went back. He didn't want to wait until the weekend to talk about this though, so he hit call. 

"Hey James. Canceling on me?" 

"I wouldn't dare. I was hoping for some advice, actually." That she wouldn't have a chance to meet Sirius before she left made this better, because it wouldn't be retroactive outing or summat. 

"From me? This should be good." 

"Well- maybe advice isn't the right word. Someone to talk to? See, I've started dating someone, and he's trans." 

"Alright. And?" 

"And now I'm worried about sex." 

"A vagina isn't a buggering goblin, Potter." 

James rolled his eyes. "I'm well aware, thank you." 

"Then what's the problem?" 

"I don't know how to... do anything with those parts. Comparatively, penises are much easier to understand." 

"I'm sure they are, but you like this bloke don't you?" 

"'Course I do. If I didn't, I wouldn't be worrying about this. Listen, Lils, I know this is kind of shitty. I like him and what he's got in his pants shouldn't effect that at all." 

"It shouldn't," Lily agreed. "Has it?" 

James frowned as he thought about it. "I don't think so." 

"Well you're not a total shit-head, that's a point in your direction. Listen mate, you're only going to work past this if you talk to your boyfriend about it. For all you know, he doesn't want you to touch him there, anyways. I can't give you catch-all advice for how to have sex with him because I don't know what he wants. Just- be honest. Open." 

"Tell him I need a fucking step-by-step for how to have sex?" 

"Yes," Lily said. Her tone was free of judgement. Straight and to the point. Yes, James needed to say that to him-- probably with those exact words. 

"That's embarrassing," James muttered. 

"How? It's not wrong to admit when you need help. Besides, it'll be less embarrassing for you to admit you don't know what you're doing than try to muddle through it and have someone get upset. Or hurt, depending on how badly you bugger up." 

"For fuck's sake, I'm not going to hurt him." 

"Maybe not intentionally, but if you don't talk to him, that might end up happening." 

"I hate it when you're right." 

"Do you? Me being right only helps you these days." 

"Yeah, yeah," James muttered. "Thanks for the help, Lils, I'll think about it." 

"Mmhmm." 

"I'll see you Saturday, yeah?" 

"Yep. Have a good time agonizing over this." 

"You're such an arse." 

"Yep," Lily said again. "You can agonize over that too, if it'll make you feel better. Good luck." 

They both hung up, and James sighed. He knew this wasn't going to be a problem. He knew he'd be able to get past it. The trouble was in getting his emotions to sort themselves out. He knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that in the end, this didn't really matter to him. But he couldn't get that through his fucking head. 

He didn't know what he was doing, here. He had no idea how to do normal relationships, and he'd thought that was as far as not-knowing-what-he-was-doing that he was going to get in this relationship. He'd figured that sex was going to be the part of this that he was actually good at. 

Fuck, that's what was tripping him up, wasn't it? It's not that Sirius was trans-- which, thank God, James didn't really want to be an asshole and Sirius definitely didn't deserve it from him-- it was that James had lost the only good thing he was bringing to this relationship. He couldn't guarantee Sirius a good time-- not at first, at least-- and now it felt like... nothing. It felt like he had nothing. Nothing to offer, nothing to give. Except for the mess of a person that he was, that is, but that wasn't exactly a high value. 

*

"I'm a mess," James said into his phone. He was laying down on the couch because it was easier to talk about the hard shit like that-- maybe those therapist couches had the right idea. 

"...Okay?" Sirius said. 

Yeah. Maybe not the best opening he'd ever had. "Wow, yeah, should've started differently. Sorry. Restarting," James declared. "Hi, Sirius, how are you?" 

"Fine?" 

"You don't sound too sure about that." 

"My boyfriend said he needed time to think about our relationship and then he calls me acting like maybe he's not alright. So... I am fine, but I'm not sure you are." 

James winced. He was buggering this up; was anyone surprised? "Right. Sorry. I'm fine, that's why I called. Or- I guess it would be more honest to say that I've realised I'm not fine but that's okay?" 

"...Er. Alright. How about you just say what you planned on and I'll figure out what you mean from there." 

"Right. So. Erm." He'd practiced saying this. Why did it have to be hard now? "You being trans? Totally not a problem. The er- problem is that I don't know what I'm doing." 

"Like in life?" 

"That too, but er, I was thinking more like with this relationship. I think I've told you before that you're the first person I've really dated." 

"Yeah, you mentioned." 

"Right, so when I figured out that I'm not going to be good at anything in this relationship, I sort of panicked. That's what that was. Also I told one of my friends you were trans because I needed advice, but she doesn't know who you are and you haven't met. I don't really know if that's alright or not but I wasn't getting anything done thinking on my own so I had to outsource- and wow now that I say it aloud that sounds really bad. I'm sorry." 

To his surprise, Sirius snorted, completely uncaring. "James, I'm glad you didn't out me unnecessarily, but you and your mates are pretty much the only people that don't know. When I told my parents, they sort of lost it and told... well, everyone in a fifty kilometre radius from our house. Believe me, you're fine. I was nervous about telling you because I was afraid you'd-. Well. Panic. Which you sort of did, but now it sounds like it wasn't about me." 

"It wasn't, rather. Do you know what it's like to have nothing to offer? I'm not used to filling that role." 

"I'm- I'm sorry," Sirius said, amusement filling his voice. "Did you just say that you have nothing to offer? Is that what you think is happening here?" 

"I mean. Yeah. I've met me. I'm a whole lot of fun to be around, but not good for the long term commitment shite." 

"Ooo is that where we're headed? Long term commitment? That sounds like it will be a beautiful disaster, between you and me. Mostly me. I find it absolutely hilarious that you think you are the only disaster in this relationship." 

"Hey, we're having an important relationship conversation over the phone because I was too bloody scared to have it in person. Clearly, I am the bigger disaster." 

"Oh James," Sirius sighed. "You have so much to learn." 

"Lily- oh, Lily, that's the friend that I called, you haven't met her because she's in the States most of the time these days-- she said I have to admit to you that you're going to have to teach me about sex since I wouldn't know what the hell I'm doing with you." 

"Always a good thing to admit beforehand," Sirius said, and it didn't sound like he was mocking James. Not that James had really thought that he would, but it had been a concern in the back of his head. "Don't worry about it, we'll go nice and slow. As much as I would love to hop right into bed with you, past encounters have taught me to be cautious." 

"That doesn't sound like fun." 

"It wasn't," Sirius said honestly. "But I'm sure we'll be fine." 

"I'm glad you're confident about this, because I'm sure as fuck not." 

"Stop being so bloody pessimistic." 

"Yes dear." 

Sirius laughed. "Usual date night alright?" 

"Sure. You want to go out or are we ordering take-away?" 

"That's a whole day away; I don't know why you would think that I know." 

"Flying by the seat of our pants, then?" 

"As usual," Sirius agreed. "See you tomorrow." 

#prongsfoot #marauders #fanfic #james potter #sirius black #filled #no magic au #established relationship #post hogwarts #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

[ma-gic-gay]

It took a few too many hours to take care of the Florence situation, but he was confident that she would be happier in her room at the long term care facility than she would be at a safehouse.

He was much less confident with what would happen next. On the one hand, he knew that Cyrus knew that Carly had taken his mother - as much as he loves her, she needs to start thinking her plans through before she ends up dead - and that she was the reason he was alive. On the other, Florence had remained unharmed and been returned within ten hours. That doesn't erase what had happened; kidnappings are always a terrible, traumatic thing and not in his worst moment had he hoped to kidnap someone or, worse, have someone get kidnapped, but it did make it a bit easier for him to sleep at night.

In short, she was pretty much the biggest target at the moment. An even bigger one than him, which seemed impossible maybe fifteen hours ago.

Yet another reason having her in Port Charles was something he'd been concerned to do. Even though she swore she'd stay at home, she'd promised the same thing before his meeting with Cyrus earlier and that was a promise she didn't end up keeping.

Maybe this time, though, since Josslyn was home with her, she'd stay home.

That would explain the fifty seven voicemails he has from her and at least one hundred texts. It was honestly less than he had been expecting, mainly because she had been incredibly worried he'd get killed, moreso than normal.

Probably because not even an hour before he left, Cyrus had tried to kill him. It definitely didn't have anything to do with last night.

Right?

He shakes his head to get that out of his head; it's been a long night and probably why he's thinking about it. Willing himself to think of anything else, his mind wanders as he drives, thinking of the possible kidnapping targets.

Maybe thinking about last night will be a better alternative.

Glancing at the clock, he realizes that it's almost time for a call from a hopefully still at home Carly.

"Like clockwork," he chuckles, answering the phone. "Everything okay on the home front?"

A laugh he instantly notices as Cyrus's leaves his phone speaker. Quickly checking the caller ID, it's Carly. "Well, Mr. Morgan, I'm not doing well right now, considering your organization took my mother. Though I suppose your question wasn't directed towards me."

No shit, he thinks, containing his anger and quickly switching to a business tone, "I already told you, I don't have your mother. What the hell are you doing with Carly?"

Chuckling evilly again, Cyrus says, "I'm just spending some time with Mrs. Corinthos, Mr. Morgan. Calm down."

He's dead. The second that Jason gets back in town and sees his stupid, ponytail clad body, he will die. And if he puts a hand on her-

Focusing on the call instead of the growing anger in his blood, he asks, "Where is she and what have you done with her?"

"She's being taken care of very well, don't worry. In fact, I think that she'd agree I'm being quite a polite host, especially given the fact she had my mother kidnapped."

Maybe he should torture him before he kills him, that sounds appealing. Very appealing.

"I actually just looked into it and your mother is at her care facility. So tell me where Carly is, now," the former assassin demands.

Killing him looks more and more appealing by the second and making it as painful as possible does too. He deserves it for doing anything to Carly. Where exactly will kill him the fastest and make it painful? Maybe being shot in several places at the same time would help.

Clearly enjoying this Cyrus continues, "Is she? Well, I received a call earlier that she had been checked out of there."

"They must've been wrong."

"Well, still, I think she's getting even more delightful as time goes on. In fact, I'm finding her to be quite beautiful. What do you think, Mr. Morgan? Should I seduce and make love to her?"

Anger is the only emotion he feels right now, combined with disgust at the thought of that. "I wouldn't recommend it."

"And why is that?"

To lie or tell the truth, that is the question. The answer is lie. "She's a terrible lover. Absolutely terrible. Believe me, I'd know. We were involved at a certain time and I'm not sure anyone should have to go through that."

"You two have been quite close in the year since her husband passed. Are you sure you don't just want her for yourself?"

This sleazebag is going to be in hell when Jason finds him, he swears on his life. "Yes, I'm sure. Now, where is she?"

Chuckling again, he says, "Mr. Morgan, I'm not stupid. You think that since you've returned my mother, I'll return your friend in exchange for her. But, you see, Mrs. Corinthos isn't just someone you can take as you please. I'm truly seeing her beauty in this light and I find her to be quite intriguing. Perhaps I'll go against your advice-"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Now, last time I'm asking, where is Carly?"

"Why don't I let her tell you yourself?" Cyrus offers before handing the phone over to who he can imagine is the blonde. A scream is emitted in the background, probably from a gag or something.

The second he lays his eyes on him, that man is dead.

"Jason?" A scared Carly asks. "Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm right here Carly. Can you tell me where you are right now?"

"You remember that little room above Jake's, where we got our start? I miss that room sometimes. Especially now that the Floating Rib isn't even really a working building."

"So do I. It was plain and undecorated. Now, where are you?"

"I love you and my kids, you know that, right?"

"Yes, yes I do. You know I love you. Are you okay?"

"No one else will probably ever be in that room again. Kinda sad, don't you think? I kinda like that we'll be part of the last people to be there, but I think it's a damn shame that room won't get better use out of it." Carly continues, clearly not getting his point.

Wait. The room above Jake's. That's where she's being held! She's been giving hints. God, sometimes he thinks she's do dumb but others she's practically a genius.

"Has he laid a hand on you?"

"Yeah," she says and his blood boils. This bastard is going to die, just for thinking about doing this.

"I'm going to go down memory lane," Jason says, changing the topic but hoping she'll read his signal. "Drive around some spots I used to go. I'll be home to check on the kids in twenty minutes."

"Have fun with that journey, Mr. Morgan," Cyrus says, having taken the phone from a surprisingly silent Carly. "In the meantime, I'm going to tell you what to do to get her back. You will meet me at Pier 57 at noon tomorrow. Until then, I think that the two of us are going to be spending some quality time together."

"You so much as lay a hand on her-"

"I'm going to advise you to stop speaking if you ever want to see her alive again," Cyrus chuckles. "Goodbye, Mr. Morgan."

Just like that, the phone is hung up and the call ended. "Fuck!" Jason screams, driving faster.

He's got to get to her and fast. She doesn't have much time before Cyrus rapes her and he'll be damned if he lets her go through that. Not if he can stop it, and he knows he can.

After all, if there's one thing his men have told him that he remembers, it's that Cyrus suffers from erectile dysfunction. If he had to pick one dude who would never be able to get it up in their life, without a doubt, he'd pick that sleazebag in a heartbeat. Especially now, given the situation his best friend is in.

He can make it there in ten minutes if he breaks a few traffic rules.

Fuck traffic laws; he's got to go save her, he thinks as he speeds up, taking every turn too fast and going straight through at all the stop signs and red lights.

It's a minor miracle he doesn't get a ticket as he pulls into the parking lot of the Floating Rib, which has been abandoned ever since the explosion that sent Lulu into a coma and killed Dev and Dustin.

Deadly explosions don't exactly appeal to buyers.

Gun drawn and loaded, he finally realizes that there is no plan here. Call the cops? No, then Cyrus gets to walk away alive and this son of a bitch needs to die.

Kill him and then call the cops? Not a bad idea, especially with Carly as a witness. She's not a perjurer, no one would ever accuse her of that. Especially when she's newly traumatized from a kidnapping. Besides, it's self defense. But bullets can ricochet and she could be killed or comatose. Whatever happens, it could be really bad.

Fuck.

Going in without a plan is the best option and that scares him more than anything he's ever faced.

Bounding silently up the stairs, he kicks in the door and sees an almost nude, terrified Carly and the sight of an aroused Cyrus. Fuck. Guess those erectile dysfunction pills work for him.

A sparkle appears in his eyes when Cyrus realizes he's there. "Mr. Morgan, how kind of you to join us. Though, I don't believe you were expecting this."

Bastard. He deserves to be killed, the most painful death one can ever suffer. Acting as though he's a fucking host of a party, not a kidnapper who's about to rape his best friend. How many other women has he done this to?

The thought of it makes his blood boil. "I'm only gonna say this once, get away from her and you might live."

"Was that a threat?"

"It was a promise."

"Mr. Morgan, Mrs. Corinthos and I are having a moment here and you're being rather rude, intruding upon it."

Carly's been suspiciously quiet this whole time. She's planning an escape, he can feel it. No use trying to explain how he can feel it, but he can.

That's new.

Refocusing his attention to the ponytail clad piece of shit in front of her, he says, "You two aren't, because she's most certainly not into this. I know what she looks like when she is and let me tell you, that's not what she looks like right now."

"Ah yes, your past. Well, her face may have changed."

"From last night?"

With the mobster stunned enough to do a minor double take, Carly kicks him right in the balls. That's gotta hurt, especially considering that he's got his dick out and everything.

Jason snaps into action, undoing the handcuffs she's in and removing the duct tape, wincing when she screams in pain. That hurts his heart.

"I was right with my suspicions, wasn't I? Mr. Morgan, what are your feelings towards Mrs. Corinthos?"

"None of your fucking business," he answers, kicking Cyrus in the balls himself as he calls the cops. That felt good. Not as good as killing him would, but it does give a rush of dopamine. "I'm above the Floating Rib, in the little apartment with a kidnapped Carly Corinthos and her kidnapper and attempted rapist Cyrus Renault."

"An officer is being dispatched there and will arrive in five minutes, sir. What is your name?"

"Jason Morgan."

"Well, Mr. Morgan, can you stay at the scene with Mrs. Corinthos?"

"Trust me, I'm not leaving until this son of a bitch is behind bars on death row," he growls at the operator. For someone who's normally so good at controlling his emotions, right now it's all he can do to not pull the trigger and take him out himself. His walls have fallen as his best friend softly cries next to him, minorly breaking his heart.

"I wouldn't count on that, Mr. Morgan," Cyrus snickers, "after all, I could just kill you two."

"The dispatch is going to be there in under one minute now, sir."

"Cyrus, if you so much as grab that gun and point it at me, I can kill you out of self defense. So I guess if you've got a death wish you could grab your weapon," Jason counters him.

"PCPD! Put down all weapons!" Chase shouts. Of course he's the lead detective.

"Up here!" Jason shouts and he finds the staircase before walking into the room.

"Mr. Renault, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?" Chase asks, cuffing him.

"Damn you, Morgan," Cyrus says before another cop escorts him out and into a cruiser. Thank god, he was afraid if he saw his stupid, smirking face one more time, it would be the last thing that Cyrus ever did.

"Mrs. Corinthos, can we bring you and Mr. Morgan down to the station and have you two recount what happened tonight with Cyrus?"

Words don't leave her mouth, a sob does. Jason pulls her gently out of the chair and into a tight embrace, for his benefit as much as hers. "She's in no shape to be giving you the details."

"Mr. Morgan, it's better if she tells us what happened sooner rather than later."

"I'll do it," she agrees, though she's still visibly shaking in his arms. "If Jason's there, I'll do it."

Pressing a kiss to the side of her head, he agrees, "I'll be there."

Attempting to inform then they can't, Chase says, "You can't actually be in the interrogation room together; it's a very rare occurrence and not one I'm sure I can get permission from the commissioner to have right now."

Glaring daggers in his direction, Jason informs him, "You heard Carly's terms. If you want her to tell you what happened, I'm going to be there."

Finally giving in, Chase agrees to let them go in his car before leaving to call Jordan.

"Do you think you can stand?"

"No."

"We're getting you to the hospital then," Jason declares. "Detective!"

"Yes, Mr. Morgan?"

"I'm taking her to the hospital to get checked out before the police station."

"Could we question you two at the hospital? It's really important we get your testimony before Cyrus's. He's smart enough to ask for a lawyer and we'll do our best to have one take their time, but it's possible if she goes to the hospital she could end up giving it second."

"Do you feel up to getting questioned at the hospital?" Jason asks the sobbing woman, feeling a combination of emotions he can't push away.

"I guess," she agrees uncertainly. "You'll still be there, right?"

"Of course. I'm not leaving your side unless you tell me to," he reminds her. "Ambulance or my car?"

"Oh god, not an ambulance. I don't need all that fanfare," she groans.

"Okay. Detective, will you meet us at the hospital?" Jason asks to his own chagrin. He can't believe this dude has the audacity to ask a woman recently traumatized by an attempted rape and kidnapping to tell him what happened in detail.

Chase nods and leaves the two alone again, offering a tissue to the sobbing blonde in Jason's arms.

Scoffing, Carly takes the tissue and resumes her sobbing. "I was so, so scared you wouldn't get here in time and he'd kill me. I know, I broke the only rule, but in my defense, I had to work and I got taken there."

"I'm sorry I didn't get here quicker," he says, "and that you feel like you're to blame for this. You're not. Cyrus, that sick son of a bitch, is the only one to blame."

"You told me to not go out!"

"I didn't think he'd move in so fast... If I had, I never would've left the house."

"Hey, you are not to blame for this."

"Neither are you."

"Yes, yes I am. He-he kissed me, Jason. He started making out with me, and he hit me when I didn't kiss him back and when I said no. That's when I got the duct tape to my mouth."

To be continued when I can write this and not feel like crying (aka after I watch the Sharkboy and Lavagirl movies because they're BOTH on Netflix now and that's pretty fucking cool.)

@ryleighjosephine

[mbti-notes]

Hello! I must say that your blog has helped me A lot in my journey of self-improvement! I have a problem with myself,I need reflections on. I'm an INFJ that has PTSD (lifelong abuse) and borderline. I'm a third culture kid and have been aching for stability for years. And most of the countries I've lived in don't have mental health resources so I have been walking on egg shells and put my mental health on hold. For 2 years I lived in my parents home country while my family still lived in asia-p1

[con’t: After that I realized that I could not make it my country, I couldn’t study what I wanted in university or work because of the language. I came to the conclusion that sooner or later I needed to establish my life somewhere so last year I decided to go to the country where I spent most of my life in (Norway). Because of my PTSD most of my life is repressed, but after living there for almost a year it has been extremely triggering. It was dark, cold and I was completely alone, and it made me fall into depressive thoughts, worsened my Mental health. And because of my poor mental health I had very hard time taking care of myself. I was also struggling economically, and combining this with my childhood triggers it became a nightmare. I was in a waiting list for ages, and when I got help from the psychologist to get help with my ptsd and borderline, she told me that the constant moving have affected me and I need to find stability in a country, she told me to think about itThe problem is that no matter how much I think about it, it doesn’t get better. Instead I find myself very anxious and having panic attacks bc I feel like I need things decided. The thing is that I have realized that planning things inside my head is one thing and reality is completely different. Something else I’ve realized is that I need to have people in my life, it helps me to cope. I have also high expectations from my family to finish my studies but its hard in the mental space I am in]

I’m not sure if there was another message at the end that I didn’t receive since it ended somewhat abruptly, but I get the picture. Yes, third culture kids often suffer from a feeling of having no roots and thus no real home, which of course is made much worse by existing in an abusive home that has never made them feel welcome. Roots are important because they provide stability and a sense of security, it’s something you can rely on and go back to in times of need. Unfortunately, since your parents didn’t help establish roots for you, you are now tasked with doing that for yourself as an adult. INFJs need a “social home” to belong to, a place with people who provide moral and emotional support, and your mental health issues are directly attributable to the fact that you’ve never had that kind of social support in your life. You understand the crux of the problem, which is good.

I’m a little bit dismayed that your psychologist simply asked you to “think about it” because it’s technically their job to help you think through problems by teaching you strategies rather than just send you home to do it yourself - if you could solve the problem yourself, you would have done so already. To be fair, psychologists are human too, and they can get overwhelmed when a new client comes in and immediately unloads a whole boatload of complicated problems that need sorting out.

You say that the more you think about it, the worse it gets. The reason for that is your “thinking” isn’t real thinking, it’s merely rumination, which means that you just go over the problem again and again without getting anywhere and it makes you feel worse for never accomplishing anything (see the article on rumination). Proper thinking is systematic, critical, strategic, goal-oriented, and targeted to solving problems effectively and efficiently. It seems that you lack the skill to think in such a way (Ti loop), so your thinking is unproductive. 

You’ve raised a lot of problems in a short description. They all need solving, it’s true, but you have to prioritize them, which you haven’t done. You should make a list of all the major problems in your life that need solving. Then you should order those problems from most urgent to least important. If you can’t solve one problem without first tackling another, then that other problem needs to be moved up the priority list. Then you should tackle them in order, be systematic. 

Next: For each problem, you have to 1) identify the exact cause of the problem, then 2) brainstorm possible solutions, then 3) identify which solution is the most effective one, i.e., the one that is feasible and tackles the root cause(s). If you have trouble with identifying the cause of the problem, brainstorming solutions, or judging/deciding which idea is the best solution, then you research and ask for advice from those who are more knowledgeable and experienced than you. When you’re able to clarify your problems, you’ll have a better idea of who to ask, and the people you ask for advice will have a better time helping because they have a better idea of what you need.

According to the description, I’d say your most immediate and urgent problem is finishing your studies, though that’s not the most important problem in the grand scheme of your life. If the main obstacle in finishing your studies is that your mental health suffers from lack of social support, then the first problem you should tackle is the social support. Brainstorm solutions. Maybe you need to see a counselor to process your feelings regularly and keep you on track. Maybe you can join a student support group. Maybe you can join a depression or anxiety support group. Maybe you can call a free mental health hotline or write to a mental health forum to talk out your feelings. Maybe you can join clubs or activities to make friends. If there are people you trust, maybe you can do more to develop those relationships and lean on them a bit more instead of trying to go it alone. You can meet new people by asking friends to introduce you to their other friends.

Tackle the social support problem first since it will help you with everything else. Then your studies should improve. If you have to slow down and take fewer courses because you need more time to care for your mental health, then do it. Once your studies are finished, you’ll be in a better position to make a living. Then you’ll be more free to move around and look for a place to settle down and make your home. There’s no need to overwhelm yourself by thinking about ALL the problems ALL the time. Draw a linear mental map that lays out your strategy for addressing the problems systematically, one by one, then you can focus all your attention on the problem at hand instead of always getting too far ahead of yourself and feeling drowned in anxiety about the future. In other words, when you know your general direction, you can focus on what you need to do today to move in that direction (healthy Ni). 

#infj #third culture kids #roots #social skills #critical thinking #critical thinking skills #problem solving skills #ask