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princesssarisa · 5 months

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Some “Little Women” thoughts – In defense of Meg’s marriage

@littlewomenpodcast, @thatscarletflycatcher, @joandfriedrich

Whether Little Women is a feminist book or an anti-feminist book will probably be debated forever.

Most of the debate seems to center around the character of Jo: whether she’s depressingly “tamed” in the end or matures in a healthy way, whether her marriage is anti-feminist or not, and whether or not it’s “anti-feminist” that in the end she’s a schoolmistress instead of a famous author. (Though of course she’ll eventually be a famous author in Jo’s Boys.) But similar debate surrounds the other March sisters too, for various reasons.

Not even Meg, the sister whom readers most often seem to overlook, is spared from these debates. Many feminist critics, such as (but not limited to) Samantha Ellis in her book How to Be a Heroine, have criticized the chapters depicting Meg and John Brooke’s married life in Part II. They label those chapters “depressing,” and they feel as if Meg and John are constantly at odds with each other and miserable. They argue that each of their marital conflicts ends with Meg learning to be a more submissive wife who placates and effaces herself for her husband. And they despise John, labeling him “selfish” and “disrespectful.”

Sometimes I wonder if I read the same book that they did.

It seems obvious to me that Meg and John’s marriage is a happy and healthy one: Alcott is just honest about the fact that even the happiest marriage includes conflict and requires work. Some of these critics seem to think fictional marriages only exist in two forms, “perfect” and “toxic,” with no in-betweens. Nor does John deserve half the negative commentary he gets, nor does Meg’s personal growth within her marriage consist of learning to be a submissive or self-effacing wife. On the contrary, much of her growth consists of her learning that she doesn’t need to be a “perfect” housewife and mother who gives and demands too much of herself, and their marriage becomes more of an equal partnership by the end, not less of one.

Let’s look in depth all three of Meg and John’s marital conflicts.

First there’s the jelly incident.

Here we see the first of a recurring theme: Meg is determined to be the perfect housewife and is "over-anxious to please.” She wants to do everything right and do it all by herself, because she’s afraid that otherwise, she'll be a failure. In terms of her personality type, I agree with @funkymbtifiction that Meg is an ESFJ. In the book, if not in all adaptations, Meg and Amy are both ESFJs: Amy is more of the sparkling “Glinda in Wicked” variety, while Meg, apart from her streak of vanity, is more of the down-to-earth, motherly, “Mrs. Potts in Beauty and the Beast” variety. But Meg in particular shows what @alittlebitofpersonality calls the ESFJ Type Angst. Her eagerness to manage her marriage and motherhood in the most pleasant, correct way (her strong Fe and Si) and her fear of possible failure (her weak Ne and Ti) give her, in A Little Bit of Personality’s words, a “frantic desire to do everything and get it done right now,” so she drives herself too hard.

She shouldn’t have promised John that he could bring home a dinner guest at any time; that’s unrealistic. Nor should she have tried to make jelly for the first time in her life using only the memory of watching Hannah make it; she should have invited Hannah over to help her. Nor should she have become so absorbed in making and re-making the jelly that she didn’t cook dinner; nor should she have let herself be so distraught about the failed jelly, or lost her temper with John and then run to her room, leaving him to improvise a bread-and-cheese dinner and entertain Mr. Scott alone.

John is also at fault and acknowledges it. He shouldn’t have forgotten that Meg was making jelly that day and brought home a guest without warning. He shouldn’t have laughed at Meg’s anguish over the failed jelly, nor should he have joked that he and Mr. Scott “won’t ask for jelly” with dinner. But let’s be fair to John. His laughter is probably just as much out of relief as out of amusement, because when he first comes home and finds Meg sobbing, he worries that something terrible has happened. Then, when he realizes no food has been cooked, he’s understandably annoyed because he’s come home from work tired and hungry, with a guest too, and Meg hasn’t done what she promised she would. But he doesn’t lose his temper; he stays calm and amiable and accepts a cold-cut meal; he just gives his annoyance a tiny vent with his joking barb about the jelly. Then Meg overreacts in response.

In the hours afterwards, he and Meg are still polite to each other, just a bit distant, each sorry but waiting for the other to apologize first. Then, when Meg finally breaks the ice, they both apologize (not just Meg – in fact only John verbally apologizes, Meg just does it with a kiss), everything is fine again, and from then on they both laugh about the incident.

Maybe by modern standards, it is problematic that Marmee has urged Meg to be careful not to make John angry and to always apologize first when they’re both at fault. But it’s not because John has “a volcanic temper,” as Samantha Ellis inexplicably claimed– he so clearly doesn’t! Nor is Marmee’s message “Men are less forgiving than women so we need to placate them.” She’s not talking about “men,” but about John the individual, and she’s not urging Meg to placate him either. All she means is that John’s anger doesn’t flare up and die quickly like the March women’s, but simmers much longer because he represses it.

Then there’s the silk incident.

Say what you will about vanity-shaming and other gendered implications (which of course are valid), but Meg didn’t need an expensive silk dress, and she shouldn’t have ordered it without telling John. It’s not that a wife should ask her husband’s permission to spend money; it’s that no one, regardless of gender, should do anything behind their spouse’s back that they’re ashamed to admit. And again, John doesn’t get angry. He accepts the expense without complaining. He’s just hurt; he works so hard to provide for Meg, and the fact that what he provides isn’t good enough for her, that she says “I’m tired of being poor,” makes him feel inadequate. Yet he tries not to show his hurt and is willing to let Meg have the dress. He cancels his own order for a new overcoat so they can afford it; he’s willing to sacrifice something he needs for something Meg wants but doesn’t need. When Meg sells the silk and buys the overcoat for John instead, she’s only repaying his selflessness in kind.

Finally, we reach the chapter “On the Shelf.”

I’ve read several feminist articles that criticize this chapter and especially John’s behavior in it. But I don’t agree with any of them. John isn’t being selfish the way Meg briefly thinks he is; he’s not jealous of her attention to the twins. By all appearances, Meg genuinely neglects him and overwhelms herself too, because she devotes every waking moment to her two toddlers and thinks no one can properly take care of them but herself. Again she’s trying to be superhuman because she’s afraid of failure. She doesn’t let John be a parent to his own children, or take any time to relax either, and she spoils the twins and makes things harder for herself by giving in to their tantrums. I understand why some feminists are rankled when John starts spending his evenings elsewhere, Meg feels ignored, and Marmee tells her it’s her own fault for forgetting ‘her duty to her husband.” But even if that wording isn’t ideal by modern standards, it's arguably true. To blame John for “not bothering” to help take care of the twins and “forcing” Meg to do it all alone, as some of these critics do, is just the opposite of what the chapter means to convey.

And again, John doesn’t get angry or complain. Nor, unlike what some of these critics seem to think, does he cheat on Meg, either physically or emotionally. He just goes to visit the Scotts rather than feel lonely and useless at home (where Samantha Ellis got the idea that he goes to “what sounds like a dodgy establishment” is beyond me; it’s a friend’s house), and just because Meg worries that his eye is roving to pretty Mrs. Scott doesn’t mean it is.

Arguably, this chapter has a very feminist message about egalitarian marriage and co-parenting. Instead of doing all the work alone and sacrificing her own wellbeing, Meg learns to share her parenting duties with John, and to let Hannah babysit often so they can have much-needed time to themselves too. She also starts to converse with John about politics, so he doesn’t constantly feel the need to seek out a male friend to discuss them, and he returns the favor by conversing with her about domestic subjects too. Traditional gender divides are relaxed. By the end of the chapter, their marriage is more balanced and equal than ever.

I’ve also read complaints about John’s co-parenting. The fact that Meg is portrayed as too soft-hearted, spoiling rowdy Demi and needing John to discipline him. The fact that John and therefore Alcott advocates the potentially traumatic “cry it out” method of sleep training. The fact that John insists on handling Demi’s tantrum in his own way despite Meg’s objections and Meg reluctantly gives in, with references to John’s “masterful tone” and Meg’s “docility.” The possible sexist implication that John knows how to parent better than Meg does.

But I don’t think Alcott meant to imply that John is a better parent than Meg or meant us to see him as lording over her. Even though he won’t let her give in to Demi’s demands, what finally stops Demi’s tantrum is a kiss from Meg after he’s been allowed to cry for a few minutes. They solve the problem together by combining John’s discipline with Meg’s tenderness. Then John shows tenderness of his own by lying down on the bed and holding Demi as he falls asleep, so it’s not a straightforward “cry it out” that he (or Alcott) advocates for sleep training, but something closer to the Ferber Method.

Of course there is an old-fashioned, traditional aura to Meg and John’s marriage and to their roles in the house: Meg as homemaker and John as breadwinner, Meg as nurturer and John as disciplinarian to the twins, and her fondness for sitting in his lap. But of the four March sisters, Meg was always the most traditional young woman of her era. Her marriage dynamic might not be what Jo or even Amy would want, but it’s just right for Meg. And Alcott shows us that with the right effort, even a basically traditional marriage can be egalitarian and mutually healthy.

The one feminist complaint I might sympathize with is that all three of these episodes do revolve around Meg learning to be a better wife. In each instance, Meg is portrayed as being more at fault than John, and she’s the one who learns the chief lesson. But I don’t consider this a sexist choice either. The March sisters are the protagonists of Little Women. Their coming-of-age journeys and personal growth are the focal point. John is a supporting character, so it’s arguably only natural that the “married life” chapters focus more on Meg’s personal growth than on his.

These are the reasons why I personally enjoy the chapters revolving around Meg and John’s marriage, and why I don’t consider them problematic or “depressing.” They’re just a realistic portrayal of the struggles, mistakes, and conflicts that occasionally rise within a happy marriage, which are resolved in a healthy way when both partners put in the necessary work. I understand where the critics who dislike those chapters are coming from, but I can’t bring myself to agree.

#little women #louisa may alcott #meta #analysis #meg march #john brooke #marriage #parenting #feminism #rambling

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froggywritesstuff · 1 year

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character list

the title is self explanatory. this is a list of the characters i'll write for. it'll probably change over time, and if you see a character you'd like but don't see them on the list, just ask cause i might've forgotten about them

Hamilton

Eliza Schuyler

Angelica Schuyler

Peggy Schuyler

Maria Reynolds

Alexander Hamilton

John Laurens

Philip Hamilton

Lafayette

Hercules Mulligan

James Madison

Thomas Jefferson

Aaron Burr

Umbrella Academy

Viktor Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

Klaus Hargreeves

Allison Hargreeves

Luther Hargreeves

Five Hargreeves

Ben Hargreeves (Umbrella or Sparrow)

Sloane Hargreeves

Jayme Hargreeves

Stranger Things

Will Byers (non female readers only)

Mike Wheeler

Lucas Sinclair

Dustin Henderson

Eleven Hopper

Max Mayfield

Robin Buckley (non male readers only)

Nancy Wheeler

Jonathan Byers

Steve Harrington

Eddie Munson

21 Chump Street

Justin Laboy

The Goldfinch

Boris Pavlikovsky

Theodore Decker

Marvel

Peter Parker (any actor)

Steve Rogers

Bucky Barnes

Sam Wilson

Makkari

Sersi

Sprite (platonic only)

Steven Grant

Marc Spector

Layla El-Faouly

America Chavez (non male readers only)

Kate Bishop

Yelena Belova (platonic only)

Shuri

Namor

Riri Williams

X-Men

Mystique

Kitty Pryde

Peter Maximoff

Rogue

In The Heights (movie version)

Usnavi de la Vega

Vanessa

Nina Rosario

Benny

Sonny de la Vega

Heathers

Veronica Sawyer

JD (Jason Dean)

Heather Chandler

Heather McNamara

Heather Duke

John Doe

Ride The Cyclone

Noel Gruber (male or nb readers only)

Ocean O'Connel Rosenburg

Mischa Bachinski

Constance Blackwood

Ricky Potts

Hatchetfieldverse

Paul Matthews

Emma Perkins

Ted Spankoffski

Bill Woodard

Ruth Fleming

Pete Spankoffski

Richie Lipschitz

Max Jagerman

Grace Chasity

Lex Foster

Ethan Green

Hannah Foster (platonic only)

Heartstopper

Charlie Spring (non female readers only)

Nick Nelson

Tara Jones (non male readers only)

Darcy Olsson (non male readers readers only)

Elle Argent

Tao Xu (non male readers only(headcanoning him as bi or pan is disrespectful and transphobic))

Tori Spring

Imogen Heaney

Isaac Henderson (platonic only)

Do Revenge

Eleanor Levetan (non male readers only)

Drea Torres

Deadpool

Wade Wilson/Deadpool

Wednesday

Wednesday Addams

Enid Sinclair

Bianca Barclay

Xavier Thorpe

Ajax Petropolus

Eugene Otinger

(young) Morticia Addams

(young) Gomez Addams

Beetlejuice

Lydia Deetz

Tomorrow When The War Began

Ellie Linton

Lee Takkam

Fiona Maxwell

Homer Yannos

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse/Across the Spider-Verse

Miles Morales

Gwen Stacy

Pavitr Prabhakar

Hobie Brown

Margo Kess

Miles G Morales (earth 42)

Miguel O’Hara

Maze Runner

Thomas

Newt (non female readers only)

The Broken Hearts Gallery

Lucy Gulliver

Nadine (non male readers only)

Nick Danielson

Treasure Planet

Jim Hawkins

Enola Holmes

Lord Tewkesbury

Turning Red

Mei Mei

Miriam

Abby

Priya

Raising Dion

Nicole Warren

Tevin Wakefield

Dion Warren (platonic only)

Julie and the Phantoms

Julie Molina

Luke Patterson

Reggie Peters

Alex Mercer (non female readers only)

Flynn

Carrie

Abbott Elementary

Janine Teagues

Jacob Hill (non female readers only)

Gregory Eddie

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake Peralta

Amy Santiago

Rosa Diaz

Love Victor

Victor Salazar (non female readers only)

Benji (non female readers only)

Felix Weston

Pilar Salazar

Lake Meriwether

Lucy

Mia Brooks

Andrew

In Treatment

Eladio

Laila

Spree

Kurt Kunkle

Once Upon a Time

Emma Swan

Regina Mills

Killian Jones

Mary Margaret Blanchard

David Nolan

Henry Mills

Mulan (non male readers only)

Graham

Neal Cassidy

Peter Pan

Jefferson

Dash and Lily

Dash

Lily

Boomer

Juno

Juno MacGuff

Paulie Bleeker

Summer Days Summer Nights

Debbie Espinoza

Frankie Espinoza

Scream (1 through 6)

Sidney Prescott

Billy Loomis

Mickey Altieri

Roman Bridger

Jill Roberts

Charlie Walker

Sam Carpenter

Tara Carpenter

Amber Freeman

Chad Meeks-Martin

Mindy Meeks-Martin

Quinn Bailey

Venom

Eddie Brock

Honest Thief

Ramon Hall

Beth Hall

Wild Child

Poppy Moore

Kate

Drippy

Freddie Kingsley

Monsters and Men

Manny Ortega

Marisol Ortega

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Trevor Spengler

Phoebe Spengler (platonic only)

Error 143

Micah Yujin

Community

Abed Nadir

Troy Barnes

Annie Edison

Jeff Winger

Britta Perry

The Obession

Logan

Delilah

The New Girl

Lia Setiawan

Stacey Hoffman

Mythic Quest

Poppy Li

Brad Bakshi

Adventure Time

Finn

Princess Bubblegum

Marceline

Marshall Lee

Prince Bubblegum

Flame Princess

School Spirits

Madison

Simon

Charley (non female readers only)

Wally

Rhonda

Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

Simon Aumar

Disventure Camp

Aiden (non fem readers only)

James (non fem readers only)

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

Jane Facciano

Olivia Valdovinos

Nancy Nakagawa

Cynthia Zdunowski

Richie Valdovinos

Ted Lasso

Roy Kent

Jamie Tartt

Keeley Jones

Sam Obisanya

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Noah Diaz

Elena Wallace

Mirage

Helluva Boss

Blitzø

Stolas (non female readers only)

Loona

Millie

Moxxie

Octavia

Verosika Mayday

Fizzarolli

Asmodeus

Hazbin Hotel

Charlie Morningstar

Vaggie (non male readers only)

Angel Dust (non female readers only)

Husk

Alastor (platonic only)

Vox

Lucifer

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (rise + mutant mayhem + tmnt 2007 + tmnt 2012)

Donnie

Mikey

Raph

Leo

April

The After Party

Yasper Lennov

Space Force

Tony Scarapiducci

Renfield

Teddy Lobo

Robert Montague Renfield

Undercovers

Bill Hoyt

Amazing Digital Circus

Jax

Parks and Recreation

Leslie Knope

Ben Wyatt

April Ludgate

Andy Dwyer

Jean-Ralphio Saperstein

Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja

Randy Cunningham (18+ people DNI unless requesting platonic stories)

The Earliest Show

Josh Bath

House of Lies

Clyde Oberholt

Mean Girls (movie + musical + movie musical)

Cady Heron

Regina George

Gretchen Wieners

Karen Smith/Shetty

Janis Ian/Sarkisian/Imi'ike (non male readers only)

Damian Hubbard (non female readers only)

Warm Bodies

Peep World

Nathan Meyerwitz

Your Boyfriend

Peter Dunbar

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zoeyslament · 6 months

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Having RtC brainrot again, so a bit about the choir’s parents!!

Ocean: We already know her parents are “far left of center humanists” which is part of what makes her who she is. But we don’t really know their names, which is why I have given them Barry and Patsy O’Connell Rosenberg (I wanted something kinda old-timey for what ever reason and went with it)

Noel: This is where I actually think about things! His mother’s name is Rebecca Gruber. In one ‘Meet the Choir’ video, Noel mentions his father leaving the family, and he was clearly old enough to have remembered and already in his ‘post war France’ obsession so I pinned it at around 10 years old. Anyway, his father and mother get into an argument over their suspections that their son is gay. It ends in his father (whose name is Nathaniel Gruber) leaving

Mischa: N/A, we already sort of know what we need to with him.

Ricky: His parents’ names are Ben and Hannah Potts. Ben Potts (name stolen from a book I love and also a lot of his personality) was like a big dnd player in his youth so he teaches Ricky to play too. They develop a way of playing without talking. His mother, Hannah Potts, takes a lot more pity on Ricky than his father does

Penny: again N/A, Legoland tells us what we need to know

Constance: Her parents’ names are Anthony and Margaret Blackwood. The Blackwoods have lived in Uranium since its founding, as we know. And on her mother’s side, I wanna say Constance is actually related to the founder of Uranium! Her father owns the cafe and does the inventory and money side of things while Constance and her mother handle the bakery and kitchen! Oh, and her little brother’s name is Henry Blackwood.

#rtc #ride the cyclone #headcanons #ocean o'connell rosenberg #noel gruber #ricky potts #constance blackwood

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randomestfandoms-ocs · 3 months

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Crossover List: Any Descendants ocs??

(went with Gabe bc he's my son and I have so many more ideas for him 🥺)

Addie

Beatrice

Chiara Potts

Eliane

Evander Grimhilde

Fitz Rider / Fraser Fitzherbert

Hannah Westergaard

Harley Hook

Princess Isabelle

Keto Jones

Lovetta Garou

Maria Frollo

Raina Gold

Rini

Savina Stromboli

Winona Sykes

#ask #answered #manyfandomocs #crossover list

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witchofthemidlands · 7 months

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i would say ✨family photo✨ but there's no rex ☹️

#abby maitland #connor temple #sid maitland temple #nancy maitland temple #primeval #hannah spearritt #andrew lee potts #primevaledit

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the--life--of--hannah · 11 months

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happy birthday ricky

your sabm tag scratches an itch in my brain i didnt know i had

#ricky potts #ride the cyclone #hannah makes posts

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ruthkearneydaily · 1 year

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Mum and Dad lecturing the kids.

#primeval #01x02 #season 1 #Primeval Rewatch #Nick Cutter #Stephen Hart #abby maitland #Connor Temple #primeval gifs #Douglas Henshall #james murray #andrew-lee potts #hannah spearritt #Mum & Dad

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elamaine · 2 years

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Masterlist (who i write for) <3

i do allow mlm and wlw and poly relationships x and please request stuff x

ㄒ卂Ꮆㄥ丨丂ㄒ

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📞ㄒ卄乇　乃ㄥ卂匚Ҝ卩卄ㄖ几乇 📞

finney blake

robin arellano

billy showalter

vance hopper

griffin staggs (platonic)

gwen blake

bruce yamada

💥丂ㄒ尺卂几Ꮆ乇尺　ㄒ卄丨几Ꮆ丂💥

jane hopper

mike wheeler

nancy wheeler

argyle

jonathan byers

will byers

lucas sinclair

erica sinclair (platonic)

001/henry/peter/vecna

eddie munson

billy hargrove

steve harrington

max mayfield

tommy hagan

angela

jason carver

gareth emerson

🌠 乇ㄩ卩卄ㄖ尺丨卂🌠

(sometimes) nate jacob

maddy perez

cassie howard

lexi howard

fezco o’neil

ashtray o’neil (platonic)

rue bennett

jules vaughn

kat hernadez

chris mckay

ethan lewis

elliot

🩸 尺丨ᐯ乇尺ᗪ卂ㄥ乇🩸

archie andrews

betty cooper

jughead jones

veronica lodge

cheryl blossom

jason blossom

toni topaz

kevin keller

reggie mantle

F. P jones

sweet pea

fangs fogarty

jellybean jones (platonic)

🍿１３　尺乇卂丂ㄖ几丂　山卄ㄚ🍿

clay jensen

jessica davis

hannah baker

justin foley

(sometimes) bryce walker

tony padilla

zach dempsey

alex standall

🌕ㄒ卄乇　爪卂乙乇　尺ㄩ几几乇尺🌕

newt

frypan

thomas

gally

minho

ben

chuck (platonic)

terasa

alby

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bruce banner

tony stark

steve rogers

natasha romanoff

wanda maximoff

pietro maximoff

vision

spiderman (andrew, tom, and toby)

pepper potts

morgan stark (platonic)

bucky barnes

peggy carter

howard stark (young)

ikaris

sersi

sprite (platonic)

thena

drugi

makkari

and more!

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devi vishwakumar

paxton hall-yoshida

ben gross

fabioal torres

kamala

aneesa qureshi

trent

elanore wong

jonah sharpe

rebecca hall-yoshida (platonic)

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johnny lawrence

robby keene

daniel larusso

miguel diaz

tory nicholas

eli mokowitz

samantha larusso

john kresse

terry sliver

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patty bladel

brick armstrong

robert armstrong

bob barnard

coralee huggins

nonnie thompson

magnoila barnard

christen keene

dixie sinclair

regina sinclair

henry lee

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richie tozier

eddie kaprask

stanley uris

beverly marsh

ben denbrough

henry bowers

reggie huggins

patrick hockstetter

victor criss

ben hanscom

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i will add some more later <33 likes, comment, reblogs are appreciated xx

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