#I SPENT THE ENTIRE LIKE 2 HOURS WORKING ON THIS LISTENING TO THE HUNGER GAMES MOCKINGJAY AUDIOBOOK im. GOOD GOD. im hurting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silverhandy · 3 years

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I saw the devil (in me) - chapter 4

Takemura doesn't believe in ghosts, not really, but a man driven to his limit might believe in just about anything. Trapped in a losing game and consumed by grief, he returns to Night City looking for closure. but ends up finding something much more.

ao3 I chapter 1 I chapter 2 I chapter 3

As he opened his eyes, the first thing Takemura noticed was that he was no longer lying on a leather chair in the center of the clinic, hooked up to an impossible amount of monitors, a painfully bright surgical lamp hovering over him, blinding him to the point where it wasn’t possible to keep his eyes open even if he wanted to. Instead, Takemura found himself lying on an actual bed, frame creaking with every little movement he made. It was pushed to the side of the garage, away from prying eyes, but still within Viktor’s line of sight. The other man must’ve moved him at some point, though Takemura wouldn't be able to pinpoint when exactly, the brief moments he could recall an unsettling blur in an otherwise blissfully void unconsciousness.

Misty’s terrified face. Viktor leaning over him, still in that suit he wore to the funeral, bloody smears staining his otherwise perfectly white shirt. The bitter taste of vomit flooding Takemura’s mouth, a pair of strong hands helping him turn to the side so he wouldn't choke. And the cold. An unyielding chill that’d shake him awake every few hours, teeth chattering despite a thick blanket he was covered with. Eventually, it was gone, only to come back in the form of searing hotness, one that made his optics go haywire, spitting glitchy warnings all over his feed before he drifted off again. And Viktor’s hand against his forehead, his skin almost ice cold in comparison with his own.

In short, Takemura felt like absolute shit. Like he’s been dragged through Night City’s trash dump and back. At least the clinic didn’t seem to him a rocking boat anymore, the soft, neon lights no longer so unpleasantly bright as they were merely a few hours before. It seemed surreal, but it’s not like Takemura didn’t know what to expect. He’s been through cyberware withdrawal in the past, the memory of the last time he ended up in Viktor’s clinic in a less than presentable state still fresh in his mind, but this felt so much worse. In the moments he was lucid enough to form such judgments, Takemura kept telling himself it was his injuries aggravating his symptoms, these two unfortunate circumstances layered on top of each other yet another instance of bad luck that seemed to follow him the moment he stepped foot in Night City for the first time not even a year ago, but he knew well enough it was bullshit. It almost felt as if his body finally found an opportunity to carry out a proper vengeance for the last few months in Takamatsu.

When Takemura first stepped off the AV, a sense of relief washed over him. Finally, he was back home. He made it, carved himself a path back under Arasaka’s wings, the only place he ever truly belonged. The circumstances were different, sure, and he was yet to swallow the disappointment that being dismissed from Saburo-dono’s side was, but everything was back as it should be. At that point, Takemura could still force himself to push the memory of V far back into his mind, convinced that it was her who made the wrong choice, though little did he know it wouldn’t be much longer.

He refused to acknowledge it, but even before V started haunting his every waking moment, even his favorite foods felt bland to taste, far removed from the richness of flavor he remembered. Then came the memories and guilt that kept him awake at night and copious amounts of coffee to remedy the lost hours of sleep by day, his meals growing smaller and smaller, reduced into a bare minimum necessary to keep him going. He was never a man to refuse a meal, the hunger that plagued his entire childhood burned into his mind, but these days he couldn’t stomach more than a few bites before he felt it lodge down his throat.

Takemura slowly sat up and almost immediately regretted it, his back protesting the movement after all the hours he spent in one position. He ignored it, running a hand through his hair to pull back the loose strands plastered to his skin. To his mild surprise, he was no longer wearing the suit he left the hotel in, but a stretched out t-shirt and sweatpants, both a bit too loose on his smaller frame. Viktor must’ve changed his clothes at some point, most likely before the blood had a chance to stiffen the material. It didn’t make Takemura feel embarrassed. If anything, he was grateful for the care, but the state he was in certainly made him feel vulnerable, much more so than he’d be willing to admit. Fighting the anxiety rising in his chest, Takemura looked to the side, fully expecting his left arm to no longer be attached to his shoulder, but there it was - heavily bandaged, but still in one piece. He tried moving his fingers and saw them twitch before a warning flash of pain could reach his senses.

The clinic was quiet, save for a quiet hum of machinery and the sound of a boxing match playing in the background, punching and grunts faded out by a speaker spitting commentary faster than a machine gun spits bullets. All of that was interrupted by a soft creak as Viktor got up from his chair and walked over to Takemura.

“Good to see you back among the living,” Viktor said, a faint smile on his lips. He was back to wearing his usual blue shirt, sleeves rolled up over his biceps, stethoscope hanging around his neck. He seemed much more at ease than the last time they met, the clinic being his natural environment much more so than the bar, though it did very little to lift the dark circles beneath his eyes. If anything, he looked even more exhausted.

“How long was I…?” Takemura’s voice came out hoarse and strained, barely audible even for him. As if reading his mind, or, more likely, simply having a decent bedside manner, Viktor handed him a glass of water.

“Here you go. As for your question, four days, give or take.”

“And did anyone..?”

“Did anyone come knockin’ lookin’ for you?” Viktor asked as he grabbed himself a chair and sat beside Takemura. ”Luckily, no. Left me wonderin’ what the hell happened. Somehow I doubt it was the Valentinos you met on a late night stroll, so let me make a wild guess - tough day at work?”

“You might call it that.”

“So what, Arasaka is sending their assassins after people for missing a day off work now?” the doctor asked, not much humor in his tone.

“It wasn’t...exactly that. I apologize, but I would rather not discuss it right now.” Takemura replied but didn’t provide further explanation. To his relief, Viktor didn’t push for it either, at least for now. Before the silence between them could grow any heavier, Takemura added: “If you are worried about troopers bursting through your door, there is no need. If they had not done that already, I believe it means that I...got my point across.”

“Should’ve seen the other guy, huh?” Viktor asked with a husky laugh.

A wet sound of a blade piercing the sternum, going right through the aorta. A seasoned Arasaka agent struggling to load a magazine, fear in his eyes as if he had seen the devil himself. A quick cut to the neck of a practically defenseless man, still recovering from the shard’s aftereffects, dead before he had a chance to see what happened to his companions. That’s all it took, it seems.

***

“Since you’re out of the woods, allow me to give you a quick rundown of how it’s lookin’ for you: a gunshot wound to the stomach was a walk in the park compared to the scrap metal that was the wiring in your left hand. I hooked you up with some suitable replacements, should be workin’ just fine if you allow the cuts to properly heal, so take it easy for a while. I took the liberty to go in and tweak your CPU a little, managed to restore some basic interface functions, but I'm afraid all the other implants are a goner.” Viktor said, fingers dancing as he typed on the screen he was holding. “No way for me to reset them, Arasaka tech is way above my pay grade. You probably know that already, which brings me to another matter we should, uh, discuss.” the other man’s expression changed, his brows furrowed in concern clearly evident on his face.

“Yes?” Takemura’s fingers froze halfway through buttoning the coat Viktor handed him. To his relief, Takemura realized it was his own coat, seemingly fresh from a half-decent laundry service, one that managed not to completely ruin the heavy grade wool. Buttoning it wasn’t easy with only one hand, but whatever was left of his pride made it impossible to ask Viktor for help.

“I just found it concernin’ that you had such a strong reaction to bein’ cut off from implants, especially since it ain’t your first time. You should have experienced some mild nausea, light oversensitivity, maybe a vicious headache, but your other injuries aside, it knocked you right out for days. I ran quite a few scans when I was treatin’ you but didn’t find much to explain it. How’ve you been feelin’ in the last few months? Eatin’ well? Sleepin’?

Was there even a point in lying?

“Not really, no.” Takemura said, unable to look the other man in the eye, fingers slipping as he rushed to fasten the rest of the buttons,

Viktor hummed and stopped typing away at the small screen he had been holding, letting his hands rest on his lap.

“Listen, uh, the past few months have been tough on all of us. I’m not good with this sort of stuff, but if you need someone to talk to, I can give you contact info to a great doc.”

“That will not be necessary, but thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Alright, but you know, if you need it, don’t hesitate to ask. With the way things turned out, I presume you’ll be staying in Night City for a while?”

“I’m afraid so. It would be unwise of me to come back to Japan right now.”

“I know it was supposed to be a short trip, so I don’t presume you came prepared for a longer stay, huh?

“I have some funds stashed away on a secure account, but it will take me some time to gain access to them. I will pay for your services, of course.”

“Nah, it’s not my fee I’m concerned about. I don’t want you to roam the streets in the dead of winter, not an eddy to your name. Suppose what I’m askin’ is if you have a place to stay?

“Not at the moment, no.”

“Then how about you stay in my place until you figure out what to do next? I’m not there all that much anyway, been spendin’ most nights at the clinic lately. Shame for the place to go unused like this and it seems you need it more than I do.”

Takemura hesitated. Viktor has already done so much for him, from saving his life to letting him run up a tab on little more than a word. He knew he'd never be able to repay such kindness, but the ripper was right. Before he jumps all the hoops to access the little cash he had stashed away on an account so deeply buried even Arasaka wasn't able to cut him off from it, more than a few days will pass. He still felt weak and even just the thought of spending the night outside was making Takemura miserable. At the same time, he didn’t want to stay in the clinic any longer, knowing that his presence had effectively stopped Viktor from taking up more than a few clients he trusted well enough.

“Thank you, Viktor,” Takemura said and bowed slightly, as deeply as the stitches would comfortably allow.

“No problem, really,” the man smiled and handed him a shard. “Just jack it in, it’ll tell you the location and grant access to the building. It’s a few blocks away, you won’t miss it.”

“See you later, I suppose?”

“Sure. Go get some rest before you go out to roam the streets and remember, your body ain’t got all the fancy tech to patch you up in no time. Folks like you often seem to forget that. Just take it easy, Takemura.”

“It’s Goro.”

“What?”

“Call me Goro. And I will, do not worry. I have...a lot of things to figure out.”

#goro takemura #goro takemura/viktor vector #victor vector #viktor vector #takemura/viktor #cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cp77 #the devil ending #cp2077 spoilers #writing #vikemura #takevik

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daminettes · 4 years

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Coming Home (1) - Hunger Games AU

hey guys! francine and i (aka @fsketchart) decided to collab for @april-angst-apocalypse!!! we kinda snapped doe

she wrote marinette’s pov while i wrote adrien’s pov, and we both wrote damians. i hope you guys like it!

It's the annual 100th Hunger Games. As per every twenty-five years, they will be doing a special reaping. This year, two families per District are chosen to sacrifice a child from each family to fight to the death in the arena. After training for years, Damian is prepared to fight. But is Marinette prepared? Will Damian choose to save himself? Will either of them come home to their families? Afterall, there can only be one winner in the death match.

WARNING : Hunger games includes murder, we don't condone it & we don't write it in detail. However, if it can still be triggering for you this is not the best fic for you. No shame if you're uncomfortable with it! You take care of you and your needs first! The hunger games has 24 children from ages 12-18 tossed into an arena, and are forced to battle with only one tribute allowed to keep their life. If you're not comfortable, we hope you find an AU that better suites your tastes!

WARNING 2 : If a character is killed off, it's to highlight that everyone that was killed in the hunger games (as there can only be one winner) was killed off NOT because we "hate" the character, but because we felt like it would be more important to remember that the people killed were not faceless characters. There were good people killed off, the hunger games doesn't ever really have a true victor. Everyone loses someone or something in the end. So if a character you like is killed off by someone else it's because we didn't want characters to kill off faceless people. We don't want anyone to forget that the people who are killed were real people with families.

Marinette stepped down the wooden steps, slowly as they creaked. Her mother and father were there, gathering their belongings.

“Come on, grab your things, we need to leave within the hour,” her father spoke. Sabine blew out the candles, leaving only the natural light through the windows as their source of light. Tom flipped the sign outside to closed, as he put on his worn jacket. Marinette adjusted her braid, jumping when Sabine walked behind her and adjusted the ribbons. Sabine tied a red ribbon in her hair with tears threatening to spill. Sabine, silently held her daughter’s face in her hands, staring into her eyes, as she kissed her nose and walked away to the door. Marinette followed her mother and father to the door, shutting it quietly behind her.

As they walked in the streets, no child raced ahead of their parents. No child was jumping with joy. They gripped their parent’s hands tightly, as they all stepped into the streets, making their way step by step to the center of the city. Everyone was silent in the entire town, everyone scared. The only sound heard was the tip taps of the shoes in the streets. Everyone was heading in one single direction.

Many wore designer clothing, perfect colors, perfect hair, perfect shapes. They were expected to be above perfection, nothing else was allowed. Most people in their town were clothing makers.

This was, of course, was expected of District 8. District 8, the textiles and fashion district. Marinette’s family was one of the few who did a different profession, baking. The Capitol expected nearly every family to deliver the finest quality of luxury clothing for them to wear. No one dared rebel against the Capitol’s orders, not after the previous rebellion, where the Capitol wiped out the 13th District, who created nuclear weapons. Each district was assigned a different task, each one was a slave to the Capitol’s wishes. Marinette shudders at the thought. So many were left dead from that fight, no children were spared.

Marinette gripped her father’s hand. This year was the 100th annual hunger games. Normally, each year they held the hunger games, where ages 12-18 would compete in the hunger games in bloodshed. Two tributes, one male and female, of each District, would have their name reaped from a bowl and forced to compete in a death battle for the Capitol’s entertainment. Another reminder that the Capitol controlled every aspect of their lives. The Hunger Games only ended when one tribute was chosen. Some people put their names’ in multiple times in exchange for food. Other Districts like District One or Two, the wealthiest Districts, would volunteer to be part of the Hunger Games, believing that joining in the blood battle would be a high honor. Marinette shook her head at the thought, before facing forwards once more.

Ahead of her, she saw Adrien. He was walking with his father, with bags under his eyes. Marinette couldn’t blame him, he lost many important family in the Hunger Games. Marinette has lost many people close to her in the Hunger Games as well. She walked over to him and took his hand, nodding assuringly. Adrien refused to make eye contact, as his father pulled him closer to him.

Marinette remembered when they first met. Marinette was doodling the people passing by the bakery. She saw a beautiful boy with bright green eyes. She immediately began drawing him, paying close attention to his eyes. She could remember those eyes so clearly, and furiously drew on the paper, no longer bothering to look up at her reference. She was so caught up in her sketching she didn’t even notice when said boy walked inside the bakery. She finally noticed when he appeared over her shoulder, absolutely flattered by her work. His green eyes lit up as he started posing, asking her to draw more. He spent the entire afternoon at the bakery that day.

When they finally turned seven, her parents let them play in her backyard without supervision, as long as they remained there. They would lie on their backs, with the grass tickling their toes. They could smell the fresh air outside, the sounds of birds chirping and the grass blowing from the wind. The sun hit their faces so brightly, as they stared at the skies. They would spend hours, cloud watching. Marinette adored the boy with green eyes and vowed to remain by his side.

Marinette and Adrien were cloud watching once more when they were ten, when Marinette noticed a small, tiny cloud out of the corner of her eye. She smiled at the little heart-shaped cloud and tugged on Adrien’s jacket to show him. When she looked at him though, his eyes were elsewhere. She followed his line of sight, to see a beautiful girl standing near the fence of the backyard. She was drying clothing outside, the breeze carrying her midnight hair behind her. Each of her steps were elegant and graceful. Each step was with purpose. Never once did she trip or fall. With perfect posture, she carried on her day. When she looked over and noticed Adrien staring at her, she smiled softly and shook her head while chuckling.

Adrien quickly became fascinated with the girl with green eyes that could rival his own. He tried to get to know her, and each day, he would come over to Marinette’s house, talking all about the girl with green eyes. Marinette would just smile, and listen, chiming in here and there.

She never held it against him and moved on after a long time. She tried her best to support him as his sister and began distancing herself from him. But she always made sure to be there for him when he needed her.

As they neared the center of the city, Marinette braced herself. Up ahead, she could already see the Peace Keepers up ahead. The Capitol Peace Keepers were threatening District Citizens, ordering them to file in place, as the escort and advisor for District 8 stood at the podium. They fired off warning shots at their feet as the children screamed. Ivy who was selected as the coach for District 8, adjusted her hair as she stared at District 8’s citizens with disgust. She ruffled her hair and touched up her makeup, with bright colors in her outfit. It highly contrasted the outfits of District 8, who were all cloaked in dark colors, in hopes of blending in with the crowd.

Marinette followed her parents in line, blending in with the other terrified children, as the reaping began.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Adrien, wake up.” A voice came that followed with a knock from behind his door. “We are leaving in an hour, get ready and go down to eat breakfast.”

“M-Coming Father,” Adrien muttered while struggling to get himself to wake up.

It's The Reaping Adrien thought to himself. He dreaded this day. Of course, his father refused to let him volunteer for the Hunger Games, not after what happened to his mother, but still, there was something that scared Adrien today. It was his first time being eligible for the Hunger Games. Just a short few months ago, he turned 12. Now he could very well be walking to his death. The chances of being picked were slim, but there was still a chance.

Adrien sighed and pushed the dark thoughts that came to his mind away and got out of his warm soft bed. Light shined through his large window as he walked across his large empty room. He slowly walked towards the closet and picked out his outfit for the day. He reached into his closet and grabbed out the suit Natalie had left for him. His father would never let him leave the house without looking up to standard. He carried them with him as he made his way into the shower, and let the warm water try to calm his thoughts.

Adrien stood in the shower for about ten minutes before actually washing himself off. He just stood there and thought about how much his day could change him. His tears blended in with the water, as he pleaded to whatever god that may be out there. Please don’t let him end as his mother did. He was still young when she died, but he could still remember fragments of that day. His mother was pregnant at a young age with his father, and they were planning a beautiful wedding. Everyone was supposed to be there, his friends, his neighbors, even the Dupain-Chengs. But then came the reaping. Almost no one thought Emilie would get picked. Almost every year the lower class was selected, the rich seemed untouchable. No one could fathom the idea of Emilie being chosen. And yet she was. And not a single person volunteered to take her place. And so Emilie fought, and died in the Arena, after having just given birth to Adrien in the arena. Gabriel was sobbing as he locked himself in his home, a home that was meant for a family. Adrien, although young, remembered rewatching the hunger games on his father’s computer, and standing horror. Watching that old video was one of Adrien’’s greatest regrets. He knew some of the people in that arena from business deals, and he saw how they quickly turned into murdering monsters. He turned off the warm water and was hit with a cold breeze, he quickly shivered and threw on his towel as quickly as he could. He made his way to his room, got changed, and headed downstairs.

Adrien quickly made his way down to the dining room and quietly sat himself down into his seat.

“Good morning, father,” Adrien spoke quietly, while shoving a piece of toast into his mouth and taking a sip of his tea.

“Good morning, Adrien. Slow down we don’t want you choking. Agrestes are not slobs.”

“Apologies, father...”

After the short conversation, they both settled in awkward silence, Adrien slowly eating his toast while Gabriel read a book that Emilie used to enjoy. After finishing his toast and tea he beckoned Natalie forth to bring his dirty dishes to the washing machine. Adrien cleared his throat, before looking at his father. Gabriel turned to him with tired eyes.

“Father...if you don't mind...before we leave may I take a few minutes to visit mother's statue in the garden?”

Gabriel paused for a long time, as he stared at the table. Natalie put a hand on his shoulder, and Gabriel looked up at Adrien.

“Alright, but make it quick. We need to make it to the center in time for your reaping.”

“Thank you, father!” Adrien said while running towards the gardens.

As he made his way towards the garden he was hit with the pleasant smell of roses and daisies. His mother's favorite.

He slowly made his way towards the statue and plopped himself down.

“Hello, mother. I miss you, like a lot… Please give me your strength to get through this. I hope you miss us too. I love you,” Adrien heard Natalie call his name. “I'll see you soon, mother,” Adrien spoke while standing up and brushing away any leftover dirt from his pants.

Adrien and his father made their way to the center, with Natalie and the Gorilla following close behind them.

They walked in silence with the other hundreds of families. Suddenly, Adrien felt something grip his hand. It was soft and warm, as he looked down to see Marinette. Adrien felt his father pull him closer to him. Marinette dropped his hand and gave him a small, forced smile. Adrien returned the smile before she walked off.

Gabriel turned to Adrien, softly speaking. “Adrien, no matter what happens today. I will always love you.”

Adrien was surprised, before hugging his father. “I love you too, father.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian sighed while looking up at the ceiling in his room. It was 6:30 in the morning and he had no idea how this day would go. Just a measly two years ago he would’ve been excited, almost grateful for this day to come. Yet now, after meeting his father, he dreaded this day. He let another sigh escape him while he pushed himself away from his bed.

Training with Talia was hard. Extremely hard. Damian would spend multiple days with non-stop training for these games. Talia told him that to compete in the games? It would be an honor. Many people in his District, District 1 of luxury goods, would pray to get chosen. He should be prepared. He is prepared. But he doesn't want to be prepared. Because after meeting his father, he realized how bitter it would be to die in those games, to turn into a monster in those games. He’s seen what the arena has done to Talia and his grandfather. He never wishes to become them. Two years ago, Damian would’ve volunteered for the hunger games. But now? He will do anything to avoid them. He is the last child in the Wayne family to be eligible for the games, with Tim turning 18 just a few months ago. Damian was determined to stay with his new family, but that doesn’t mean the fear doesn’t go away.

Bruce knocked on the door to his room. Damian called for him to enter. Sitting down, Bruce sighed. They sat in silence, neither sure what to say. Bruce starts.

“Damian, I want you to know, this has never been easy for me. It’s never easy for anyone. And I know that this will be your first year entering into the Hunger Games. It’s been hard, with several children. It hurt me, even more, when Jason was chosen one year, and when no one volunteered to take his place. But I promise you this, should you ever get chosen, I will make every deal, pay off any price, do anything it takes to make sure you don’t go in those arenas. I will do anything to make sure you come home safely.” Damian stared at Bruce, with nothing to say. “I promise,” Bruce spoke, holding out his pinky.

“Father, what are you doing?”

“Your grandmother used to make pinky promises with me when I was much younger. A pinky promise is never broken, Damian. I promise you, you will come home safely to us.” Damian nodded, and looped his finger with his fathers’.

Soon, Alfred called to them to begin the journey to the center of the city. Everyone began dressing in their finest jackets, as they made their way to the door.

Damian sighed, leaving the entrance of his house. His brain was telling him not to move. To stay there. But his feet moved on his own, following his family .

“Hey, it’s okay, baby bird. Don’t worry about it. You won't get picked.” Jason said ruffling his hair.

“He's right, Damian,” Tim chimed in.

“Hey, and even if you were picked, there’s a lot of children who want to fight in the Hunger Games, someone is bound to volunteer!” Dick included.

“Thank you. I appreciate it,” he spoke while lowering his head to try to prevent the tears from shedding.

“Don't worry Damian. We’ll protect you,” Bruce said while kneeling down to his level. “Don't worry. We promised to, remember?” He said while showing him his pinkie. “And we don’t break promises.”

Damian nodded. Instead, he avoided eye contact. “I understand, father.”

“Now let's go!” Jason cheered.

They all started to walk ahead leaving Damian behind. Damian took a deep breath, as he quickly sped up his pace to catch up with them.

Soon enough, they were reaching the center. They could hear the warning shots ringing out from the center of the District. It was time to start The Reaping.

#maribat #maribat april angst apocalypse #daminette #maridami #marinette x damian #adrien agreste #yall mlb stand better not attack me

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sonofkhaz · 4 years

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Musing: Pathologic 2

Pathologic 2 is what you get when Russian game developers down an entire bottle of Flintstone Vitamins with some Vodka while listening to Hardbass after being awake for 72 hours straight. It’s probably one of the best games I’ve played in terms of story-telling and themes.

It’s a great game, despite some mechanical issues. A few years ago, I got the original game off of GOG and only got about halfway through before giving up out of frustration and a little bit of boredom. The sequel fixed a lot of the problems the first game had. For starters, there’s a lot less walking back and forth; rather than having to literally walk around the whole town to check up on your patients to see how they’re doing, it now tells you at the end of each day if they’re okay, in danger of infection, or infected. It’s easier to track your character’s thoughts, the map now has markers, and you can sprint instead of walking (sprinting is now a feature, yes). You can use a ferry system to fast-travel around town at the cost of a coin called a Fingernail, and you can hold down CTRL to highlight points of interest and characters you can speak to.

Despite being praised in Russia and having very positive reviews (91% at the time of writing this) on Steam, the game didn’t get much traction upon its release in the west, with “game journalists”, a term I still don’t fully understand, comparing its difficulty to Dark Souls (yeah, some people still use Dark Souls as the litmus test for game difficulty) and claiming that it has Skyrim-inspired RPG elements. It’s as if “game journalists” have never played anything outside of Bioware games, Skyrim, Dark Souls and Pokemon.

Yeah...despite the fact that comparing a game like Pathologic 2 to something like Dark Souls or Skyrim is completely obtuse and ignorant, I think I understand where the frustration comes from, which I’ll get to later.

The game takes place in Town-On-Gorkhon, an isolated town in the steppes built upon contradictions. From a glance, the town might just look like your average early 20th century Russian town, but it’s inhabited by two groups of people: the Townsfolk, who are just becoming industrialized, and the Kinfolk, a group of Steppe nomads who hold veneration for bulls because they believe that the town rests on the back of a giant auroch, Mother Boddha. In addition, the latter group has a species of humanoids called Worms who water the ground with blood to grow plants, women called Herb Brides who dance in the steppes to make the twyre bloom, and other practices. Despite the contrasts, the two are not at complete odds at each other; rather, both cultures have meshed together.

In the first game, there were 3 different playable characters, but for now you’re only able to play as Artemy Burakh, the Haruspex. His father was a Kin doctor and his mother was a Townsfolk. After six years of medical school, Artemy is called back home by an urgent letter from his father, only to find out that he’s been murdered. See, a haruspex was someone in history who could divine the future from entrails; since Artemy is technically a surgeon who just returned to a town where cutting arteries, attacking someone with a knife, and digging holes in the ground are all considered taboo, he’s the primary suspect, so everyone hates his guts. People will initially refuse to trade with you, shopkeepers won’t sell their goods, and some people will try to attack you in the street. In the wake of this, a mysterious plague referred to only as the Sand Pest hits the town.

Pathologic 2 is like an adventure game and a “horror survival” tied into one. The imagery of the game goes from uncanny valley to flat out dark, with red pustules and moss-like substances growing on the buildings and streets of infected districts, infected townsfolk shuffling towards you to try and infect you, and plague clouds that manifest and chase you down the street. If you’re unfortunate to get infected with the plague, you hear voices in your head telling you, gently, to lay down and die so your suffering can cease. While you’re trying to find a cure and trying to save NPCs from the plague, you yourself are trying to survive.

Your overall survival is dependent on more than just your health bar. Sergei tries to shank you for your track suit and Semechki seeds, yeah, your health will go down if he manages to hit you. But then you have to factor in your hunger, exhaustion, immunity, and stamina/thirst. You’re hungry, so you eat some toast, but now your thirst meter is going up; while it’s not immediately detrimental, it affects the duration you’re able to sprint and fight. Your exhaustion meter is full, so you lay down to sleep for a few hours, but now your hunger is going back up and you’ve just spent precious hours that could have potentially have been used doing something else. Uh oh, you just got hit with a plague cloud and your immunity is dropping - do you use the immunity boosters/tinctures you were saving for patients to bring it back up, or are you going to take the risk and wait for it to slowly climb back to where it was?

Any time you die, your screen blacks out and you speak to Mark Immortell the Theatre Director, who gives you a tut-tut-tutting on dying and sends you back to your last save file with a penalty. Your maximum health/exhaustion meters are reduced, you get hungrier and more tired as time progresses, so on and so forth. These all stack, and they’re all permanent across all save files, so there’s no going back to scum save to prevent the penalties. If you die enough, you get visited by a friend who will offer to remove your current and future penalties forever...for a cost that you may not learn of until it’s too late to change your mind.

This ties back to my previous statement about how people were criticizing this game. A lot of survival games in modern gaming tend to be generous towards the player in terms of, well, survival - you have a meter that’s running low, or a supply that’s dwindling, so you stop whatever you’re doing to rectify the situation. Should you fail there’s usually an “out” by returning to a previous save. You can’t do this in Pathologic; one reason being mentioned in the previous paragraph. Another is the fact that time is always working against you - really, the only moment where time tends to stop moving is if you’re in a dream sequence or if you physically pause the game. The clock is always ticking so you need to frequently assess the efficiency of what you’re doing and if it will pay off in the long run. The game has a lot of choices, and not in Peter Molyneux’s Fable or Black and White perspectives of “choice”. The decisions can vary greatly. Let’s say that one of your friends needs a water barrel because they want to get water for the poor and impoverished in their district. Well meaning, but what if it infects the neighbors? The hospital needs the tinctures you need to boost the immunity of nameless patients; everyone will like you more if you carry the task out, and you’ll get paid the next day, but what if tomorrow means that half a dozen cast characters get infected and you don’t have the time to make more tinctures?

Critics of Pathologic 2 have bemoaned the fact that you can’t just walk around, immune to virtually anything and everything, and talk to the NPCs while freely exploring the town to learn more about the Sand Pest and the overall story. The desire to know more about the story is a fair point, but here’s where I see the problem: There’s a genre of story-driven adventure style games, usually referred to as “Walking Simulators”, that are typically praised and lauded by the “video games are art” crowd. Games like Dear Esther, Firewatch, What Remains of Edith Finch, and Gone Home are usually put in this category.

The difference between Pathologic 2 and those games is that the latter group takes a more “hands-off” approach in their storytelling. You don’t have a lot of interactivity or mechanics that directly tie into the games. The named NPCs you speak with in Pathologic 2 are fleshed out; it’s personal because Artemy Burakh has history with them, and the decisions that you make, or don’t make, will ultimately decide their survival. Many of them have multiple outcomes; you speak with them, see their angles, see what information they may be willing to give out or abstain from initially giving, so on and so forth. The game pushes you towards investing them emotionally. Not only are you trying to save them from the plague, but you’re trying to save yourself. You’re also trying not to starve, you’re also trying not to get infected. Rather than watching a sinking ship, you’re part of the crew trying to bail the water out and plug the hole.

Not all the mechanics are perfect. Guns and their ammo, while being extremely rare/expensive to find, have a tendency to jam up way too much and hitboxes can be choosy. Hand-to-hand combat can feel clunky, and the inventory can be a colossal pain in the ass to manage since the game does not auto-sort individual stacks and uses Diablo-style inventory management. However, I have very rarely seen things like these critiqued by the “video games are art” crowd; rather, they complain about the meter management. The problems of the town seem real because you’re in it as well. Without having to manage your meters, making sacrifices and decisions, it takes away the conditions that make moments in the game memorable.

Remember: Failure is a very real, understandable and relatable aspect of human life and society. There are times in life where you fail repeatedly before you see the light at the end of the tunnel and triumph. One of the marketing pitches of this game was, “You can’t save everybody”. For example, I spent three consecutive days treating Andrey Stamatin after he was afflicted with the Sand Pest, and it ultimately came to naught because he died anyway. Some of the game's most memorable moments and interesting dialogue come when you are unsuccessful, because the game knows that you’re going to fail at some points even when you try your best.

Overall, would I recommend Pathologic 2? Absolutely. Would I recommend it to someone who cares about story-driven games? Totally. Would I recommend it to people who have low frustration walls? No.

#pathologic 2 #pathologic #computer games #musing #long post

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keen2meecha · 4 years

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Novel Prep Tag: gifted

Thanks for tagging me, @aziz-writes! You’re a gem as always!

Note: I’m talkative, so most of my side comments are crossed out don’t mind me

First Look

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

After nearly failing the application test, a young girl rejected by a superpowered society for not having a superpower* of her own is accepted into Falks, a school that teaches kids how to be superheroes. But after an attack on the school nearly kills her and her classmates, she must learn to work with her new friends before one of her oldest friends is lost forever.

(*’superpowers’ in this universe are called Gifts, and those who have them are called Gifted. The minority who don’t have Gifts are called Ungifted. The title is ironic and also a reference to a running joke Sofia has with herself)

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Novella, single book, book series, etc.)

It’s the first book in a series! Right now I have four books, but since I’m a chronic overwriter, that may or may not have to be extended to five books.

3. What’s your novel’s aesthetic?

Honestly? Aesthetics aren’t really my thing, so I’m not sure. Maybe soft warm colors, that surprised flutter in your chest when someone gives you a thoughtful present, the ache after yet another workout, that scratchy feeling in your throat when your right on the edge of crying but no one else can tell? This started out as a lighthearted superhero story I swear-

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

If you’re an anime fan, you’ll probably look at the general premise of this and some of the basic details of some of the characters and go “Wait a second, that’s a lot like My Hero Academia” and listen. I know. It’s not the same plot though, I promise! Really, at this point, I’d like to think that it’s undergone so many changes that the two are pretty decently removed, but *shrugs*. I’m not as pressed about it anymore.

I was also loosely inspired by Harry Potter, simply because my book also takes place throughout a school year, so I’m using Harry Potter as a frame of reference for pacing (theoretically). That being said, trans rights and fuck JK Rowling am I right?

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for the novel

For the sake of saving space, I’ll not do that this go around. But imagine fireworks, a freshly brewed cup of tea, and an overwhelmingly expensive weight room and you’ve got a pretty good image of three important things in this book.

Main Characters

6. Who is your protagonist?

Sofia Smith! The Ungifted girl with a chip on her shoulder! Also an utter jock who usually wears athleisurewear and trust me, I’m as thrilled as you are about that. I don’t work out! I don’t even know what a healthy workout routine looks like! What have I done-

7. Who is their closest ally?

I’d say it’s a toss-up between Leona Kita, a girl she meets during the application tests who quickly becomes her new best friend and is not all that she seems, and Romilly Quirke, a teacher at Falks with whom she develops a close mentorship and is not all that she seems

8. Who is their enemy?

In the beginning, it’s Kyran ‘Kruze’ Cinege, Sofia’s childhood friend-turned-enemy. However, the turning point of the novel is when it’s revealed that while she and Kruze are always fighting (physically or not), there’s someone out there who’s actively trying to kill her and that person might be a more pressing threat than Kruze.

You may also see me occasionally mention The Prophet’s Daughter, who, like all of the important antagonists in this series, hilariously still doesn’t have an actual name. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

9. What do they want more than anything?

To become the top Hero it’s not bnha you weeb

10. Why can’t they have it?

She’s Ungifted, so no one believes she can do it. Not only that, but also every single other person in her class at Falks is highly qualified - they’re the most promising kids in the country, after all - and also highly motivated to do the same, so she’s got... a lot of competition.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

That she can hold up the weight of the world on her own - worse, that she has to hold up the weight of the world on her own. Among other things

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Not an artist, but I can freely say that Sofia’s face claim is Amandla Stenberg (especially Hunger Games era Amandla Stenberg because, you know, high school).

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

She’s desperately lonely, but to admit she needs other people is to admit weakness, and to admit weakness is to admit defeat - something she absolutely cannot do. I mean, not really and it’s okay to ask for help, but she doesn’t know that. We’re working on it.

14. What is the external conflict?

Sofia is fighting the entire world to become a Hero and also someone is trying to kill her and her classmates.

Oh and each book revolves around her relationship (platonic or otherwise) with one of what I call the ‘core five’ changing and developing in a radically game-changing way. In this book, it’s her and Kruze struggling to come to terms with elements of their past and maybe overcome their conflict to become friends again...? Except their both stubborn assholes and have been fighting for so long they can’t remember how to exist in the same room without one of them blowing up eventually (literally, in Kruze’s case) (I’ll probably talk more about the core five in a different post tbh)

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

Oof. Well. If someone died on her watch, that’d be pretty bad for her. Good thing that’ll never happen though! Haha...ha...hm.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

Of this story? Shit maybe they weren’t after me after all. The story as a whole? Wait, you’re my what?

17. Do you know how it ends?

I actually have the epilogue of the last book already planned out! I will cry when I actually write it. But the end of the main plotline? Eh... I know who all is involved, and what all of the characters have evolved into at that point. But how Sofia and co. actually defeat the BBEG? I am... less sure.

18. What is the theme?

In this book specifically: it’s okay to step back and ask for help when you’re struggling - just because you can’t do it on your own doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be where you are.

In the overall series: something something found family something the power of friendship.

19. What is a recurring symbol?

Oh damn, this is a really good question. In fact, since I’m still in first draft mode (although I did write maybe a good quarter or so of a zero draft) I don’t think any have really emerged that I’ve noticed yet? But I guess I’ll come back and update this if I think of anything.

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

It’s set in a very fancy, very modern private school that’s on the edge of a city somewhere near Washington D.C. I’m... not great at describing environments/settings, though, so that’s all you get haha

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

Oh yeah, plenty. I have this whole book outlined, actually, on a chapter-by-chapter level! I got excited and also bored during my three-hour-interim between classes, and there was a whiteboard just asking to be filled... I even have some disconnected scenes from future books floating around in my mind - some incredibly emotional and poignant, some glorified shitposts. Ah, writing. It’s such a magnificent hobby.

22. What excited you about this story?

The characters! No joke, there are sixteen kids in the Falks class including Sofia, and every single one of them has their own complex backstories, motivations, and character arcs - not to mention I’ve spent a significant portion of time outlining each of their Gifts and figuring out how exactly they work. I could ramble about any of them for hours.

And that’s not even mentioning Sofia’s family, the villains, the teachers... I just really love every single character in this book!

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Step one: watch or read something. Anything. A movie, another book, a commercial, a music video, a tiktok, I’m not kidding just about anything will do. Step two: think ‘oh, I could do that better’. Step three: jot down some early lines or general ideas. Step four: leave it to stew for a little while as you think ‘oh jeez maybe I can’t do it as well as I thought’. Step five: get suddenly inspired on it and feverishly carve out several rough chapters. Step six: let it stew some more. Step seven: get newly inspired, realize how much has changed in your mind about that earlier draft, call that the zero draft, and actually do an outline this time. Step eight: ...Write it for realsies this time!

Whew, that was a doozie! Super fun though! So, according to the rules, you’re supposed to tag the same number of people as questions you answered. So there are 23 questions, and it turns out I’ve got exactly 23 people who (I don’t think) aren’t opposed to tag games, so here, have something besides a last line tag for once! Enjoy!

REMEMBER! You are under no obligation to do this - especially since this one can seem overwhelming. I’ll be thrilled if you do it, but I won’t be disappointed or upset if you pass.

Anyways, tagging: @alcego-writes, @alanwrites, @ajbrooks-writes, @evergrcen, @jewellsfrommaruss, @brookswriting, @signedjordan, @writhoelogy, @the-violet-writer, @dustylovelyrun, @linarious, @cookiecutterwrites, @honeyprincerising, @acaptainandhisrunaway, @angelolytle, @dogwrites, @mxxnwishes, @magicalwriting, @bisexual-in-progress, @writerfae, @ocmaker, @fullydevoted, @hanboggsbooks

#tagged #and p l e a s e hit me up if you wanna opt out of tag games #or even just one type of tag game #but yeah #this was a lot #but it was fun!#there were some thing that I genuinely hadn't thought about before #can this function as my wip intro?#(kidding)#but there's a lot of info here #anyways i crave validation so drop a like if you read this whole thing #and i will smile for the rest of the day #edit: i CANNOT believe tumblr didnt tag aziz right #damnit #should be fixed now tho #sorry

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ficclique · 4 years

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Fic Clique hosts choices for our top fics of the decade - as featured in our Minisode from Jan 3rd.

Brenna’s choices:

Honorable Mentions:

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter (BTS)

2018, 39k, Yoongi/Jin

The biggest gut-punch I’ve ever felt from a character confession. The Jin of this fic has stuck with me every day since reading it. This fic examines sexuality in a way that made me feel seen & I love that.

Timeshare by Astolat (HP)

2016, 14k, Draco/Harry

This is sort of a stand-in for all of astolat’s drarry fic, which as a bundle are one of my top fics for the decade. They are fics that feel like instant-classics and the variety of characterizations, stories and tropes helped establish astolat as perhaps my all time favorite fic author. Timeshare won out above the others because it’s one of the fics that helped us decide to do this podcast! Thank you Timeshare!

Top 5 picks:

The Student Prince, by Fayjay (Merlin)

2010, 145k, Merlin/Arthur

A fic that has defined fanfiction for me. Perhaps the fic that first convinced me to love fanfiction. Something I keep coming back to and have reread numerous times. Funny, heartfelt, just different enough from the canon versions of characters. Perhaps the only University AU I will ever fully love.

The Love Song of the North American Douchebag, by Gyzym (Star Trek RPF)

2013, 25k, Chris/Zach

If you want to hear me (and my lovely co-hosts) discuss this fic in depth, then I recommend listening to Episode 6! However, one of our listeners also submitted this as a top fic of the decade, so I’m going to add what the lovely Scout said:

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!”

Not Easily Conquered (series), by dropdeaddream & whatarefears (MCU)

2015, 117k, Steve/Bucky

An incredibly, precise, gut-wrenching trilogy. Each part is astounding both together and apart. A devastating exploration of love and dedication. One of those fics that created a Fandom Moment. I sobbed through the entirety of part 2 when I first read it. Womb to tomb, sweetheart.

Azoth by zeitgeistic (HP)

2013, 88k, Draco/Harry

A stunning exploration of magic beyond JKR’s universe. A timeless coming together of two characters. A frankly genius use of a plot device (and something as simple as a school project) to foster an incredibly touching and meaningful relationship, one in which they are not able to find what they need to complete their task until they find what they need in each other. ALCHEMY BABY!

Honeysuckle Arch by junkshopdisco (1d)

2015, 46k, Niall/Harry

Perhaps the most I’ve ever related to a character in fic. The Niall of this fic lives in my heart, and I feel like reading him helps me understand myself, and everytime I come back to it I understand him better too. It’s a touching portrayal of a character coming to terms with their sexuality in a way that feels completely grounded and who is surrounded by characters who love them, even if they don’t always know how to show it.

Nicole’s choices:

Honorable Mentions:

Protostellar by ninamondays

bts, 64k, pub 2019, Namjoon/Jungkook & Taehyung/Jimin

Space, cryogenics, fate, reincarnation, class struggles, revolution, climate change, character death. Having hope is punk rock. Processing grief is a slow and ugly process. [deep breath] Have I ever felt so profoundly touched by a fic while I was reading it?

the other thing by cornfields

hockey rpf, 16k, pub 2015, Jamie/Tyler

An absolutely unflinching look at personal accountability and internalized homophobia. What happens when your self-hatred has collateral damage? It’s about healing but it’ll fucking hurt first. Bleached out vibes. Makes texas feel very big, and the world feel very, very small. A story I’d only trust a fic author to tell.

Top 5 picks:

Murmuration by fringecity (indiachick)

bts, 167k, pub 2018, Yoongi/Jimin/Taehyung

Film noir/murder mystery meets gritty sci fi and superpowers. Everyone is morally gray. You Will sob about Kim Taehyung. A masterclass in plot. Felt like a trilogy all wrapped tightly into one fic. A kaleidoscope. An unfurling. This fic mesmerizes.

The River and the Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure

1d, 70k, pub 2016, Harry/Niall

Dark tower au, but only technically. Makes me want to believe in the multiverse. An arid western, a sideways coming of age story, an elegy. The first time I’ve ever cried because an ending was perfect.

the undiscovered country by indigostohelit

hamlet, 56k, pub 2014, Hamlet/Horatio

What else can I say about this fic. What else can I Fucking say.

(note: we discuss this fic at length during episode 5)

All Things Shining by Askance and standbyme

spn, 142k, pub 2013, Dean/Castiel & Sam/ofc

A story about miracles. Literary as hell, with long luxuriant scenes that never drag. Masterful characterization. The thing I wanted from spn fic—connection, plot, and a fic that not only can handle the lore of the show, but is willing to expand upon it.

Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark

1d, 95k, pub 2013, Louis/Harry

Hunger games crossover. Doesn’t just use the other fandom for setting, but entirely inhabits it. I had to stop partway through my reread because I knew I’d have nightmares, but this fic never stops hoping. Trauma is not an ending. This fic is certain of that the whole way through.

Reid’s Choices:

Honorable Mentions:

songs from the ash, by explosivesky, 2017

Critical Role, Percy/Vex, Keyleth/Vax, 54k, WIP (sort of)

rockstar/movie star AU

A fantastic example of how fic can just standalone as really good original fiction. A lovingly rendered, devastating and beautifully crafted portrait of four broken people doing their best to navigate through their lives and around one another.

delta, by sharpa, 2019

BTS, rapline ot3, 60k

What happens when you’re a public figure who gets unwillingly outed, and two people you used to love reach out to offer you sanctuary? You make Reid cry, that’s what.

Top 5 picks:

Salt on the Western Wind by Saras_Girl, 2013

Harry Potter, drarry, 60k

Immediately post war, bond

It represents a lot of what I was looking for when I started really getting into Drarry fic, which was an exploration of what canon wouldn’t give me. My favorite Drarry fics have always been the ones that let them dig into their shared trauma, and while this fic isn’t the heaviest one I’ve read, I think the fact that it’s set literally hours after the Battle of Hogwarts ends lends itself well to that concept. I couldn’t have a list of the decade without a Drarry fic, tbh.

The Great Sealand Takeover, by whalehuntingboyfriends, 2015

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, ot6 (gavin, michael, ray, geoff, ryan, jack), 365k

FAHC

When I think about fics that set the standard for a fandom, this is one of the first ones that comes to mind. This fic means a lot to me because it was my introduction to RPF, and in addition to its intricate plot and fandom-constructed lore, also was a take on poly relationships and found families in a way I had never experienced before, with themes of belonging and a love that transcends typical convention.

The Twice-Told Tale by arysteia, 2012

Marvel, steve/tony, 15k

This fic hits a sweet spot for me where it does have some of that 2012 tower-fic nostalgia, but I also think it holds up well in terms of what I (and fandom) find so fascinating about Tony, which is all this grief and trauma that he struggles so hard to process, and the way puts himself at the center of attention to obfuscate the fact that he keeps everyone at a long arm’s length.

There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, by Shoshanah-ben-hohim, 2015

Hockey, Sid/Geno, Canon Divergent, 77k

& the whole series, including There is a Field, I’ll Meet You There, Alex Galchenyuk/Olli Maata, 131k

When I think about this fic I want to scream from every rooftop I’ve ever been on “please read this fic”. The way it weaves together details to provide a level of grounding and realism in what sounds like the most absurd concept for a fic just floors me. The empathy and compassion and fear in this fic just gets at the most tender parts of my heart, and the fact that it’s ostensibly a ship fic, and yet Sid and Geno spend nearly the entire fic with no communication, but instead are just holding on to the innate truth that they know about one another to get them through this crazy endeavour they’re on elevates the entire fic for me.

what comes after, by poppyseedheart, 2018

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, mavinseg (gavin, meg, michael, lindsay), 36k

Dystopia/Spy AU

When I first read this fic, I finished it and I put it down and then I spent a few days feeling like I was just sort of wandering around in a haze because every single thought was consumed by this fic. In addition to its impeccable worldbuilding and the tone work that it does with its setting, I don’t know that I had ever resonated so deeply with fic characters before. Reading this felt like someone had pried my ribcage open one by one and revealed the softest, most tender parts of me and then went “I’m going to write something that targets this.” This fic is an ode to loss and love, to mourning something that you once had and then hesitantly and clumsily opening yourself up to building something new, and recognizing that, impossibly, that new thing you built can somehow be better than what you had before.

And I felt all of these things, I felt like my world had just been shattered by this new author I discovered… and then, somehow, I became her friend. Then through Nic I met Brenna, and now when I think about this fic I not only love it for being a work of art, but also for being representative of the thing that brought me to two of the most important people in my life, and that to me will always make it my favorite fic I’ve ever read.

#fic clique #fic recs #multifandom #minisode #fics of the decade

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emma-nation · 5 years

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Bloodline - KamilahxMC Fanfiction (Chapter 2)

Summary: A Feral attack, a mysterious serum and a big mistake… what consequences will it bring to Kamilah’s life and her relationship with Amy?

Rating: T

Notes: Since I got an impressive feedback on this fic, I decided to make it a little bit longer. I hope you enjoy it :)

KamilahxMC Tag List: @iam-the-fuckin-queen, @annabellewerecorgi, @voltos9, @scorpistraub, @leavemeandmyshipsalone, @jen825, @andreear17, @spacecarrousel, @justejuste727, @aureliaxj, @graceschoices, @sleeping-with-her06, @supersphynxsworld, @gavryllo, @galaxyside-0, @msuhailey, @zoe6111, @ptxgirwaffles, @tigerbryn11, @shanuuh, @ilovetaylor13m, @honorablebicycle, @ilovekamilahsayeed, @begging-for-kamilah, @kennaxval, @fal-carrington

The Conversation - Present Days, 10 PM

“It’s impossible. In every possible manner.”

The words Kamilah told Adrian continued to occupy her thoughts for the rest of the day. She didn’t say much or expressed any reaction at his office, instead she went to Ahmanet Financial, where she had a busy day of work.

When she was finally alone again, she grabbed all the tests results, that were safely locked inside a drawer, and read each one them carefully one more time.

Positive for pregnancy. At 2064 years of life she was expecting a child. A child conceived in the most impossible circumstances. The result of Adrian’s lack of attention and caution.

“Ms. Sayeed,” Erin showed up at her office by the end of her shift, “do you need anything?”

“No, Erin. Thank you, you can just go home now.”

On her cell phone, dozen of missed calls from Adrian. Kamilah didn’t want to speak to him yet. Not before settling down her thoughts. He insisted by sending her a text, where he told he would like to talk to her and conduct more exams.

In any stressful situation, she’d open a bottle of wine, or another alcoholic drink and go to her rooftop to relax. However, even convinced she couldn’t actually be carrying a child, drinking just didn’t feel right.

At her rooftop, Kamilah opened the small fridge, grabbing one of the multiple blood bags she had stocked. Being so insatiable as she was, it wasn’t safe to feed directly from mortals.

She had just started drinking, when someone came out from her personal elevator. Amy.

“Hey, I dropped by for a visit,” she told. “I heard you’re not doing well and that you’ve been at Adrian’s lab for tests.”

“Gossip,” Kamilah rolled her eyes. Of course Adrian employees had to spread the word around. She wondered what else they knew. If they knew everything.

“Agreed, but…” Amy sat down by her side, placing a hand on top of hers. “You don’t look well. Is there anything going on, Kamilah?”

She sighed. How would Amy react to that conversation? After all, she was the second parent to this baby. She definitely wasn’t ready. Amy was just a girl who could barely take care of herself. Who was she supposed to look after a child?

“There is. And it’s crazy, absurd and completely impossible.”

“I’m listening. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I have to,” Kamilah firmly said, looking into her eyes. “Amy, I’m pregnant.”

There was an uncomfortable and awkward moment of silence until Amy let out a small laugh.

“You’re kidding… right? I mean, this is a prank Lily convinced you to play on me.”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

“Oh.”

“It’s resulted from Adrian’s mistake,” Kamilah explained. “The anti-Feral serum combined with his research project caused a mutation in my body.”

“Who’s the father?” Amy asked, a little bit scared. “Is it Adrian’s? Oh my god, he didn’t use any of Gaius blood in this research, did he?”

The last question made Kamilah stomach twist again. Those words made her feel more sick than she had been for the last two days.

“No, Adrian combined my blood with yours in his research project. It means half of this child’s DNA is yours.”

Amy looked at her in disbelief again.

“Kamilah, be honest with me. How much alcohol have you had recently?”

“Amy,” Kamilah scowled, “considering my current situation, I suppose alcohol isn’t something that should go down my throat.”

She handed Amy the tests results. The girl’s eyes went wide in surprise.

“Oh my god,” Amy silenced for a moment, before burying her face in her hands, “oh my god… oh my god…”

“I understand how you’re feeling,” Kamilah cautiously placed her hand on Amy’s back. “I feel the same. I never wanted to be a mother. Not as a mortal and even more as vampire. I can’t possibly raise a child. I have no time to raise a child.”

Tears started falling down from Amy’s eyes. This time Kamilah couldn’t tell how she was feeling. If she was excited, miserable or only disturbed by the news.

“Jesus,“ she shook her head in denial. "I’m going to be a dad. How do I even explain this to my family?”

“Don’t say that again. It sounds creepy.”

Between sobs, Amy let out a small laugh. Kamilah couldn’t help smiling too.

“This is so crazy and ridiculous… how’s that even possible?”

“I’ve been questioning the same,” Kamilah relaxed on her seat. “Listen, Amy. I thought you deserved to know the truth, but in case you don’t wish to have any involvement in the situation, I understand.”

Amy sighed long and deeply before giving her an answer.

“Kamilah, I never expected to be a mother so soon in my life, but since it has happened, I’m glad it got to be with you.”

“With me?!” Kamilah asked.

“Yes,” Amy leaned her head on the female vampire’s shoulder. “Someone so amazing and special. Someone… someone I love.”

“I love you too, even if I don’t say that often.”

“I know.”

Amy softly pressed a kiss on her lips. When she finished her hand was laying on Kamilah’s stomach.

“I don’t even know yet if there’s actually a child in there,” Kamilah told. “Adrian needs more testing.”

“Remember when we promised we’d be facing anything together?” Amy embraced her tightly. “We’ll do this. No matter how it ends.”

———-

The Confirmation - Present Days, 7 PM

Kamilah took the day off and spent it in Amy’s company at her penthouse. After agreeing she should meet Adrian again, they didn’t comment on the pregnancy subject again. They avoided anything regarding it. The entire day, they watched movies, cuddled and Kamilah even agreed to play one of Amy’s favorite games. Anything to keep her mind distracted.

For her own relief, she didn’t feel any sickness, though her hunger was still out of control. Maybe there was a chance the tests were wrong and her body was going back to normal.

At night, they both met Adrian in his laboratory, where he waited with an advanced technology equipment to conduct a screening test on Kamilah. She laid on her back, while he scanned her abdomen. Amy watched everything apprehensively.

Adrian’s employees helped with the procedure, often glancing at each other and pointing to the screen. Noticing how uncomfortable Kamilah felt, Amy squeezed her hand.

A strange sound started echoing all over the room from the machines. It was quick and strong, but somehow peaceful and relieving. Kamilah could listen to that for hours. It was literally the only thing that made her feel make relaxed after the discovery.

“What is that?” She asked, curious.

“Your baby’s heartbeats,” Adrian explained.

"Such a beautiful sound,” Amy said, starting to get a little bit emotional.

Kamilah started thinking of her parents and Lysimachus. Maybe life was giving her a second chance of having a family and to redeem herself from all the suffering she caused in the past. Yet, it didn’t make her feel any better. There was her Ahmanet Financial, that required a lot of her time. She spent more time in her office than at her penthouse, often having to travel around the world.

And there was Amy. They hadn’t been together for so long. Forcing her to such a responsibility, so early in her life, didn’t seem fair.

———-

The Discussion - Present Days, 8:30 PM

After the exam was over, Adrian called them both to his office.

“Indeed,” Adrian told. “There’s a fetus growing inside your womb and… he shows a normal development for this stage. All human features, such as forming organs, skin and bones.”

“He?” Amy asked in surprise.

“It has been detected the presence of an Y chromosome. It’s a male fetus.”

Kamilah couldn’t say a single word. She was having a son. A boy. Her brother quickly returned to her thoughts. Lysimachus would have loved to be an uncle.

“Kamilah?” Adrian’s expression was dark and serious. “I tried to reproduce this very same mutation in the laboratory, but I obtained no reaction. There must be a third factor involved, that made the mutation result in a pregnancy.”

“I honestly have no idea of what you’re talking about,” Kamilah said. “I’ve been trying to understand it myself.”

“Was Amy the only person you had sexual intercourse with?”

“Of course.”

Kamilah wasn’t sure if her raging hormones were speaking louder, but the manner Adrian started to ask questions annoyed her a little bit.

“And how did that happened?” He proceeded with the interrogation. “Was there anything different about it?”

“It’s getting a little too personal, don’t you think?” Kamilah complained. After being exposed to his employees to gossip, the last thing she needed was to expose her intimacy.

“That’s okay,” Amy interrupted. “After you switched the samples, we… we did it. A lot of times actually. The night Kamilah was injected that sample, it was pretty wild. And the next few days too. We were really… in the mood, if you know what I mean.”

“Amy, this is enough.”

“I see,” Adrian stopped asking questions and grabbed a few papers in his desk. He also handed her a pen. “I need you to sign this, Kamilah. Before we perform the procedure.”

“What is that?” Amy wanted to know.

Kamilah read it fast, but cautiously. It was some sort of responsibility term, where she agreed to go under a procedure to remove the fetus and allow Adrian’s company to study him later.

“It’s the safest for all of us,” he told Amy. “This child was generated from blood of the Tree Of Eternal Life. Nothing good can come from that tree. He’d be like a Third Son.”

“Are you suggesting we should kill him?”

“Amy, a Vampire pregnancy never happened in history. We don’t even know if he’s going to develop properly. I mean, Vampires don’t age. Is he going to be a baby forever or he’ll stop aging in adulthood, when his body is fully mature?”

“I don’t care,” Amy raised her voice. “If he has been developing until now, why won’t he, after he’s born?”

“This will be a threat for all the humanity, Amy,” Adrian raised his voice even louder. “He’ll be just like Rheya, Gaius or Xenocrates.”

“Didn’t you just said there was a third factor involved in the conception? It was the love between Kamilah and I. He was conceived through love!”

“You’re being delusional. Neither Gaius or Xenocrates ever knew what love was! They had a twisted vision of it.”

“And apparently neither do you, Adrian! K-Kamilah, you… you can’t possibly be considering signing it. I won’t sign it! I won’t let you do this!”

The argument started to get even more loud and heated. Amy’s cry and Adrian shouts started to enter deeply into Kamilah’s ultrasensitive ears. Her annoyance became anger and she exploded.

“Stop! Stop before I lose my mind,” She yelled at Adrian. “Can’t you see it, Adrian? Everytime you develop a hyperfixation, people get hurt. And there’s never turning back.”

“Kamilah, you are out of your mind,” Adrian argued. “The Kamilah I know would never risk causing harm to the humanity because of a stupid mistake.”

“A stupid mistake? Tell me, Adrian. Are you asking me to take my son’s life? Deny him the chance of living, like somebody did to Charles?”

Her words had found a mark. She touched in the most sensible subject in Adrian’s life. He stared at her in silence, his expression getting even darker.

“Charles wasn’t a monster. He didn’t deserve to die.”

Kamilah’s eyes flared red and she snapped out of her control, advancing in Adrian’s direction. She pinned him against the wall, ready to sink her hand inside his chest.

“Kamilah, please,” Amy held her arm, crying non-stop. “D-Don’t do this. I’m begging you. You’ll never forgive yourself…”

She was right. Kamilah took a deep breath and recomposed herself, letting Adrian go.

“Let’s go home, Amy,” she grabbed her purse and headed to the door. “This is a decision we’ll make together.”

She was already at the corridor, but she could hear Adrian’s final words.

“He’s already controlling you.”

———-

The Decision - Present Days, 11 PM

On their way home, neither Kamilah or Amy said anything to each other. They were both on the extreme of their nerves. After a relaxing bath, Kamilah ordered them a meal, but they barely touched the food.

She laid in bed, willing to get some sleep, but it seemed impossible. Both sides of the argument weighted inside her mind. Amy could be right, without their love, this child would never exist. But Adrian could also have a point. Nothing good ever came from the Tree Of Eternal Life.

Amy joined her in bed, resting her head on Kamilah’s stomach. She looked down and smiled, ruffling the girl’s soft blonde hair.

“You already love him, don’t you?”

“I do. It’s hard to explain, but I already feel a connection with him.”

“Natural. He’s a Vampire, you’re a Bloodkeeper. Somehow you can make this connection.”

“Kamilah…” the girl looked at her with eyes filled with tears, “I know it’s your decision to make, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We’re going to raise him, educate him… he won’t be a monster.”

“It’s our decision to make, Amy,” Kamilah corrected her. “For a second, I understood Adrian’s point of view. But then I remembered this baby is yours too. If he has even half of your kindness, even half of your heart, I know we’ll be safe.”

“Does it mean…”

Amy’s face lighted up in a huge smile. Kamilah pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.

“We’re having a baby boy, Amy.”

#bloodbound #bloodbound book 2 #kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #playchoices #choices stories you play #bloodbound fanfiction

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scribir · 6 years

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Self Care for NSFW Artists - A Letter to Myself

As the title suggests, I’m writing this mostly for myself hence the term nsfw, but anyone can use this I suppose. It’s just some real life tips that I’ve learned through experience and wanted to write down. Maybe it can help someone.

Let’s go...

1- Get up! It is important to not be by your desk hunched over writing or drawing for extended periods of time. Not only is it unhealthy to be sedentary for that long, it is important for the mind that you walk away from your work and maybe get a little exercise by taking a walk or going for something to eat or drink.

2- Feed and hydrate yo’ body! This point ties in with the first as artists (whether you write, craft or draw) tend to restrict themselves to their work for hours. Personally, I am very guilty of this as I can sit at my desk working for up to 18 (or more) hours, moving only when it’s absolutely necessary, only to return promptly to continue working. Food and water is forgotten and at times, many hours later, I’d realize that I didn’t even have breakfast only when a gnawing hunger threatens to kill me or my heart is racing because it was a hot day and I didn’t drink any water.

3- Eat a balanced diet! So I did say that you should feed and hydrate your body, but I know you *points dramatically* you’ll choose the fastest option which most likely would be fast food for quick calories. But remember!!! Man cannot live by fast food and NSFW Art alone! You need calories from a range of diverse foods, including meat / meat substitute protein, vegetables and some fat and fiber.

Take a multivitamin too if you’re into that. Drink clean fresh water. Eat an assortment of fruits and vegetables everyday (local so it would be cheaper). Prepare your own meals to save money and give yourself healthier options. And if you don’t have the time to prepare meals everyday, do the preparation in advance on a day when you can spare some extra time. What I do is buy sandwich bags and prepare my breakfast, depending on what it is, in advance for the entire week or month. Lunches too I make in advance.

When you make your own meals, you know exactly what’s going into your body and can avoid all the nasties (processed stuff and artificial flavorings) that can be hiding in bought meals. But if you know a local company that makes packaged foods that are healthy, then go right ahead!

Remember that eating a balanced diet that includes a sufficient amount of pesticide-free fruits and vegetables is important to keep your body strong and healthy enough so that you can keep making content.

4- Wear your damn eyeglasses (if you use those)! Personally I suck at this *puts on glasses quickly then continues to type* I would be at the computer writing / drawing for hours and remember only when my eyes start hurting :/ Don’t do that.

5- Clean your damn glasses!! Another thing I’m very guilty of. Eye glasses tend to pick up all sorts of bacteria / other microbes when you rest them down or even by simply touching them. Then you put them on your face. See what I’m talking about?? Acne party.

6- Practise Self care / Have a Self-care Ritual! Eh, so this is something I believe that a lot of people fail at. Move away from the computer / desk and go wash your face, brush + floss your teeth! Take a bath / shower daily. Try to also exfoliate your face and body routinely. Shave / trim too if you’re into that, wash your hair when it’s dirty, moisturize it and keep it up and away from your face while you’re working. This not only makes working on your projects easier but helps prevent acne from dirty hair and keeps your scalp healthy.

If you can, (these tips are for whatever your gender id is), don’t go to sleep without a night cream that’s suitable for your skin type. Wear sunscreen. Keep your hair wrapped with a silk / satin scarf whenever you lie down to avoid split ends, dryness and breakage, wash your pillowcases regularly and use a silk / satin tie when putting your hair up. Also, get a routine trim to manage split ends and hair length. Oh and most importantly, use moisturizers, shower products and treatments FOR YOUR SKIN TYPE. You won’t believe the difference that makes.

Self care also involves mental health and that’s very critical for artists and everyone tbh. Remember to follow any protocol given to you by your healthcare provider and not to neglect it because you were busy cREatiNG ConTEnt *I’m looking at you* Get enough sleep, eat healthy, rest whenever necessary and try to include some meditation and light exercise in the form of yoga / walking/ stretching / pilates. All this is good for the mind. I can go on and on about self care but let’s stop here please.

7- Clean Your Room! Meh. I hate this one the most because I hate folding laundry, especially when I want to do something creative, but sometimes you just need to stop working and do it. Get up and do your chores. Doing them regularly, means that your general environment where you work will always be healthy for your mind, body and spirit and will be conducive to you formulating plots for your art and writing projects! Please leave the vision of the artist (this includes writers) in a dark, dusty room piled high with books, dirty + clean unsorted laundry behind T_T

8- Socialize! EHHHHH....NANI?! Ugh I hate this, but socializing is important for your physical and mental health. I’m an introvert by nature (shoutout to my fellow introverts) and sometimes go to extreme lengths to avoid people but socializing doesn’t mean that you have to go to a big party (an introvert’s nightmare) but simply remembering to respond to your social messages, calling a friend or even taking your mom and or dad out / going to visit them can work.

I hate to admit it but human connection is important (unless you’re a hermit on a mountain or a misanthrope). And look at it this way...interacting with real people is important for your craft! You can read books, look at videos / tutorials to learn about human interaction, but nothing replaces the story a friend would tell you about their day while drunk at 2am or the hot date they had last night, a genuine smile from a loved one, a quirky laugh or the natural movement of people who are unaware that they’re being observed - all things that can help to spark ideas that you can use for the characters in your writing and art. By hanging out with real people and seeing how they move and talk, you tend to create more genuine, believable characters that the people who use your content can identify with.

I should say too that you don’t have to interact with people directly all the time but you can just sit in a coffee shop, walk around the city, sit in the library or travel on the bus (or other public transportation). Just listen and watch and you will be privy to all sorts of gems from real people with real lives, victories and problems that can be used for character study.

9- DON’T Take Yourself Too Seriously! / Stop doubting your talent! Okay, so this one is a work in progress for a lot of people. Feelings of insecurity when it comes to your craft can attack at anytime. You’re steadily progressing but then you look at other people’s work and think that you’re absolute crap. You think their prose and exposition is great, that their art / writing style is awesome and that you’d never be as good as they are within your lifetime because you don’t have as many kudos, favorites, bookmarks or likes / reblogs as they do.

I have one piece of advice for this problem and that’s to MIND YO’ DAMN BUSINESS. This may sound harsh but it’s critical for survival in the creative world. When you’re busy feeling shitty and insecure about someone else’s work, they’re busy practising hard and getting better while you’re busy hampering your own progress. Look at their work, admire it, send that fellow artist a like / comment then give a reblog and let awesome work of art MOTIVATE you to keep working hard on your craft. You can only get better through practice and and you’re only wasting time by doubting yourself / feeling insecure / feeling jealous because of other’s progress.

I should also say that you may see someone’s wonderful writing or art but you don’t know how many hours and effort they may be putting into their craft. Talent is a wonderful thing to have, but it is a tool that needs to be sharpened every single day. A lot of people don’t like to admit it, but getting to expert level with anything takes an insane amount of practice. When you’re sleeping, you have no idea what those talented people are doing in order to get better. You don’t see the moments where they’re falling asleep on themselves while they’re writing / drawing, you don’t see the amount of horrible drafts they churned out before they got “good” and you have no idea that they too feel like they still need to improve as they continue to work hard.

So be grateful for all the kudos, likes, reblogs or favorites you get but don’t let that define you. Keep moving forward. Keep grinding. I believe in you.

10- Make time for Reflection! This may seem biased (because...introvert...), but time spent alone is important. Sure, you spend a lot of time alone writing, drawing, creating, but how much of that time is truly alone and without you doing work?? I personally believe that sometimes one needs to just go off to a quiet place to just think. Thinking about life, sorting the past, the present and the future helps to condition and exercise the mind. And a healthy mind makes for a good, capable artist that doesn’t become consumed and destroyed by their craft.

In this respect, I should also say that having Affirmations and doing Meditation is very important. Personally, I have a pinterest board that I use for that purpose and also a book with meditative quotes, passages etc that I try to read every morning.

11- Make time for Recreation: Whether it is watching your favorite movie, playing a game, watching anime, reading a book or comic, playing a board game or hanging out with friends, make sure to schedule recreational activities that take you away from your desk and work these into your routine. This, like Reflection, will help to keep your mind conditioned and also get you out of artist’s block. It also helps to generate ideas since personally I find that a good movie, action scene or well-crafted plot sends my mind into overdrive and I end up going back to write lol.

12- Organization! Having things organized, whether irl or just your WIPs (through journaling, properly saving / titling files etc) will keep you sane and save time. Believe me!

13 - Support Network! This is self explanatory but having at least one person who is genuine about liking your work and who is like your personal cheerleader is critical. Also, being your own cheer team is important! Don’t depend too heavily on others; love yourself and your work!

14 - Negative Environments: I can go on an on about this as well, but yeah...being in a toxic situation whether it is at home, school, the workplace, a relationship or even one of your own creation is very very bad for your mental health and if it’s bad for your mental health it is bad for your art. Personally, negative situations help push me forward with my writing as I create a lot of vent stuff as a result but over time it is not healthy. It can mess with your head.

Do whatever you can to get out of your situation or if you can’t, then lay the foundations (saving money etc) to get out eventually. And while you’re unable to get out, remember to practise all the tips I mentioned before. Also, talk to a professional or even someone you can trust.

I think I’ll stop here as this post is getting quite long ^^; Anyways, I hope that my blabbering has managed to help someone as I was somehow unconsciously motivated to write and post this. If anyone wants to add anything, please do!

#writer positivity #writer problems #daily reminder #important.#MY POSTTT

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geckcellent · 6 years

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tagged by @habenaria-radiata an i’ve been sleeping on this for like 2 days bc iT LOOKS SO FUN 8′| but haven’t been on pc til now. ty 4 tag !! answers are below the cut.

1. rean/jusis (sen no kiseki) 2. inaho/slaine (aldnoah zero) 3. naoya/abel (desu1) 4. hibiki/yamato (desu2) 5. johan/judai (ygo gx) 6. nanashi/hallelujah (smt iv:a) 7. jomy/blue (terra e) 8. protag/arata (digimon cyber sleuth) 9. abel/atsuro (desu1) 10. karma/nagisa (assclass)

All questions for copy+paste:

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile picture/tumblr screensaver?

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

5. Why is 1 so important?

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

9. How many times have your read/played/watched 10’s fandom?

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

14. Is 4 still together?

15. Is 10 canon?

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

no obligation ofc but! tagging @neutralend, @jusis-albarea, @moments-minutes-more + cien/king/azu/lightful whose urls i fORGET BC I’D FORGET MY HEAD SOMEWHERE IF IT WAS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE TO PUT IT DOWN

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6? LITERALLY LIKE THE SECOND JUSIS WALKED ON SCREEN 2 SECONDS INTO SEN 1 AND CALLED THEM ALL DUMB HOES 😂😂

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2? bitch i'm like pretty sure i've read the entire ao3 tag. not that that takes long tho //rarefandom blues

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile picture/tumblr screensaver? UHH. on my psp like years ago, when i was a baby geck i stored all my ~pg-13~ pics on my psp bc my dad was always remote monitoring stuff on my desktop acct sO YEAH i had a rotating background pic of various low res kazunao on cycle

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be? HEY OP, THAT SURE IS IRONIC, FUCK YOU

5. Why is 1 so important? LISTEN WITHOUT THEIR VERY GAY ~BOND~ JUSIS WOULDA STILL BEEn an asshole tryhard """perfect noble""" and rean woulda been 4eva alone bc honestly..,,, ... .. ,,, , if they hadn't had a superstrong bond then the plot would've crashed and burned like midway through sen 2 as well tbh

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship? why are you calling me out like this?????? >:T is a serious ship but they're pretty funny funky compared to kazunao (thinking emoji)

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry? THAT'S TOUGH BC LIKE I FIRMLY BELIEVE ALL THESE SHIPS WOULD DIE/WALK THROUGH FIRE/EAT A LIVE BULLET ANT FOR THEIR PARTNER but uhh if i had to pick i'd say karma/nagisa just bc of how amazing of a team they are in canon. least chemistry though?? DEFINITELY inaho/slaine, they make it work with a lotta dedication and grease and also by being more stubborn than god tbh

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond? honestly op this is like breaking into my house and taking my dog and cat hostage and saying only one of them can survive wtf !! iii think strongest bond is either inasure once all issues have been started working through, or hibiyama at basically any point post-sept route though.

9. How many times have you read/played/watched 10's fandom? all the way through?? like 3 times, once the anime and twice the manga aaand then i read bits of the manga piecemeal from time to time.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest? WELL LET'S SEE UHH my immediate urge was to say hibiyama for having 2 whole lives together (+1 4eva alone pining cycle for yamato) but honestly 2 ain't got nothin on kazunao for lifetimes spent statistically LMAOOOO. but also like rean/jusis is going strong 4 games now and H O NEST they only get gayer every game !! err if this meant ship longevity relevant to shipper then johan/judai is the 1st ship i fought my homophobic parents over as a baby geck and honestly there was no turning back,

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up? I'M GOING TO SCREAM I THINK BECAUSE THEY DID ONCE. IN CANON. IT WAS VERY MESSY THERE WAS A LOT OF DEATH INVOLVED AND HONESTLY I LOVE IV:A BUT HOLY FUCK

12. If the world was was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8? Huh that's tough actually. abel is basically god and atsuro's a smart techie so they're a superpower team, but canon already ran inasure within like a millimeter of their lives and both of them are extremely competent AND dogged af so?? i think they both would. but also like any survival/gauntlet-type question is immediately biased towards abel so i rule he should be disqualified tbh

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason? first of all there are no secrets on a ship full of closely bonded telepaths and second of all no. no. no. blue is the GAYEST fucko i have literally ever seen grace the screen. bitch's hobby is gazing intently into jomy's eyes and flying around with him while one or both are naked. LISTEN,

14. Is 4 still together? yeah and they will be til death do they part

15. Is 10 canon? honestly???? no relationships are ever confirmed except the teacher related ones but if you have eyes and a brain even if it's vestigal then yeah, canon.

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win? going with my earlier ruling to DQ abel "god is my bitch" minegishi related ships, it'd either be inasure or karma/nagisa, the former being extremely adaptable tactically and the latter being literally unmatched in the kind of situation hunger games death gauntlets take place in. counting abel in though, everyone rallies together probably behind johan/judai who have this naruto-like infectiously enthusiastic leadership, bust outta the game and beat up the sponsors.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5's ship? OH GOD AND HOW LMFAO, lookin at you yubel. but uhh we got some very gay scenes outta it and also hot bondage not-johan and it resolved nicely so we good o/

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond? listen op i'm looking you directly beady eyes to beady eyes and telling you to put my cat and dog down and back away slowly hhh. all of them. all. of them

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3's tumblr page? not anymore, there's just not much new content production for them

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink? OP TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANNA TALK ! !! ..jokes aside if i HAD to break one of them it would be jomy/blue bc honestly an amicable breakup for them would still be miles kinder than canon (PENSIVE x99)

#ship meme #rambling

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thannxx · 6 years

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Why You Need Friends in Law School

I posted this on my new blog exactly a month ago today. For my first post in my new one, I would like to extend my appreciation for the people who have made my first year in Law school tolerable and fun. :D

Today I would like to share to you the perks of having friends in Law school. It has been quite a roller coaster ride for me, especially during the second semester. But I am more than glad that I had friends who had my back as I went through my ups and downs in the past few months.

Let me start by sharing how I met them.

I spent my first days with my brothers and sisters in our fraternity and sorority. UP Baguio was just a few minutes away from UC, where I am currently taking up Law. I would eat my lunch at UP and spend time with my brods and sisses, whoever were available, until it was time for me to go to class in the afternoon. I felt like there was just something about UP that I couldn’t let go of. Maybe it’s because I just graduated; I didn’t know. I found solace in my boyfriend with whom I spent most of my time. I actually felt bad for him because he had to bear with my law-related babbles, because I didn’t have anyone else to talk about it with. We were only a few weeks in to the first semester and I didn’t have friends yet. It was a whole new experience for me and I haven’t adjusted yet.

Everything began when my boyfriend and I had an argument. I was so furious at him I stomped my way off to UC [yeah, childish, I know]. I was supposed to have a make-up class in Constitutional Law I but I was so mad I preferred to sit by the stairs for thirty minutes than be with him. That’s when I ran into Carty and Ate Adri who informed me that we didn’t have class and invited me to Krispy Kreme, which eventually became our “study hub.” I declined at first but still being the pabebe that I am, I left my boyfriend and asked Carty and Ate Adri if I could join them. Little did I know, that would pave way to a whole different story that would change my perspective about law school.

Slowly, I became friends with the so-called “KK group” who spent their afternoons studying at Krispy Kreme. I gradually found my way in and spent more time with them.

They were my study group buddies who eventually became my confidantes.

Our group consisted of only six people. I used to sit at the back row. When I finally became more comfortable, I decided to switch seats and join the front row. Eventually my group grew and I grew closer to my friends now. That was when I experienced the perks of having friends in law school.

See, when I was about to enter law school, I had this impression that I wouldn’t have friends; not because I didn’t know how to make some but because of this misconception that I would be too busy for them. I thought law school would be all poring over your books until your eyes turn white. Uhm…not really.

So these are my realizations regarding having friends in law school [yes, finally, you get to the sort of important part]:

1) You have someone to share resources with.

[this photo was taken during our group review for the finals]

Let me be honest when I say that I first thought law school was all about competition. Well, it is, at least for some people. But, it’s not. It’s actually about having a support group and sharing resources. Reading annotated books is not enough. Listening to lectures is not, too. Learning about our laws is not limited to reading comments and your codals. The most helpful way to learn about the Philippine laws is reading jurisprudence or the decisions of the Supreme Court. Now, how can you cram reading various cases in just one subject alongside reading comments from authors in just one night? You would need case digests or in layman’s term, a summary of cases. Digesting cases without losing the essence of the case is still something most Law students are struggling with. I used to spend the entire half of my only free day digesting just one case until I finally discovered my own shortcut. This is why you would need friends who would digest cases with you. Why “with you”? First of all, thou shall not be a parasite. Being a parasite makes you lose the opportunity to learn because you live to depend on what other people are learning. Our teacher in Legal Ethics once told us, when he discovered that most of us simply relied on case digests of other people, “Case digests are like food that is already digested. You have lost all the nutrients. Would you like to eat food that is already digested?”

One of the strategies we learned is to divide the cases among yourselves, that way, you wouldn’t have to struggle reading long cases alone and it is more efficient most especially in classes where you would have to read 1,500 cases just for that semester. You would have this sort of exchange with your friends. I digest for you, you digest for me.

Plus, some just have more access to external resources. Let’s admit it, some people just have more connections than we do. Right friends share their blessings. And blessings are what you need in law school.

But the most important part about sharing is the feeling that you get to help your friend. It’s the personal satisfaction of being able to give to others. Law school is a hot pot of different people. This is where you meet working students and even parents. Not everyone is as blessed to be full-time students. See, nothing can ever compare to that feeling when you know you helped someone, most especially those who are struggling.

2) You have someone to have walwal nights with [or maybe, just go eating your hearts out].

One of my first impressions about law school [and probably the scariest thought I had] was that I would be too busy to hang out with people. It’s true, you do have to spend time for studying, but you need to blow some steam off too lest it would affect your mental health.

Friends in law school are not just for resources. They are your confidantes and support group too. Sometimes, the pressure and stress just take its toll on you. I’m not going to sugarcoat this anymore. There would be days when you would just want to break down and quit [yup, as early as first year]. But when you have friends, you would have someone to share your pains and struggles with and more importantly, have someone to tell you, “Tara inom?” which I think is better than a mere shoulder to cry on.

Moreover, I don’t think it’s healthy to spend every second studying. I know a lot of successful lawyers would tell you that you should not waste your time. But even my dad who used to spend his summer vacations studying would tell me to let go for a while. I believe that it would be more of a waste of time when you study but your brain is too tired to absorb information than when you spend a few hours relaxing your mind so you would have some energy to learn after. Although honestly, when my friends and I do have our walwal nights, we still talk about law *oops.

3) You have someone who will be with you all throughout.

When you make friends in law school, remember that they are your future colleagues as well. When you’re lucky [and of course, hardworking], you get to spend with them the entire four years of school and the years after. I think it’s good to realize what you’re about to face in the years to come because you get to prepare for it. When you have friends to plan the future with, you become less afraid because you know you have someone to face it with.

4) You have someone to share thoughts and experiences with.

Law school is not about pure studying [at least not for me]. I think it is more emotionally and mentally healthy when you talk about your thoughts too. With all the stress of studying, you need to let go of some thoughts, especially unhealthy ones. Yup, I couldn’t stress this enough. You would need friends who will serve as your outlet. Do not feel that you would be a burden to them. Right and real friends will never make you feel that way. But it’s not all about sharing pains and struggles. It’s about sharing jokes and memes too. Law school is not just about horror stories, you have your good days too. And I think nothing beats having someone to share it with.

5) You have someone to motivate you to just hold on to that dream and go for it.

It has only been one year for us but I’ve already witnessed some of my friends letting go of their dream of becoming a lawyer. I did let go, at some point, but I had my Raverin family who just kept pulling me back and reminding me to keep my eyes on the prize. I think this is the best thing your friends in law school can ever do to you–to just keep motivating you, encouraging you to keep going, pulling you back when you think you’re falling, and just be there for and with you in your every step, on your every day closer to becoming a lawyer.

There will be times when you would think that you’re too stupid or not fit for law school. Your friends will keep reminding you of your strengths, because that’s just how friends are supposed to be. They just don’t see you as a competition. So they would keep pulling you up until you’re back on track. And that, that is one thing you would badly need as you face the giants of law school.

Having that title, those four letters and dot right before your name is one of the greatest things ever but the people who help you grab those letters and dot, are too.

Reminding you that law school is not about competition. This is not the arena in The Hunger Games. Nothing will ever beat that satisfaction of being a help to someone. Aim only for good karma. Your competition is not in the classroom. Your competition is inside you — yourself.

#lawschool #lawschoollife #filipino writer #filipino blog #college #school #lawschooltips #tipsforlawschool

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hellomissmabel · 7 years

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Manhattan Mistress part 8

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader, Steve x reader, Tony x reader and OC!Casey (daughter of Y/N and Tony)

Summary: Casey can’t sleep so you tell her a story. Steve turns out to be much more of a bad boy than you initially anticipated. Inspired by “Gangsta“ by Kehlani.

Word count: 4.176

Warnings: Some fluff, definitely some smut, talk of murder and cheating. Foul language too? Please do not read belong the cut if you’re not comfortable with any of forementioned!

A/N: Dedicated to my favourite mob AU writer @caplanbuckybarnes. Enjoy sweetie!

Part 6: the white noise

Part 7: the waiting game

Disclaimer: I do not own this pic, credit goes to the rightful owner.

The heathens

I need a gangsta To love me better Than all the others do To always forgive me Ride or die with me That’s just what gangsters do

It’s 2 a.m. in the morning and I’m contemplating life.

Well, I’m not exactly contemplating my life but more like the mob life in general. After my doctor’s appointment in, let’s say, 6 maybe 7 hours from now, fate will either have screwed me over or given me the greatest gift of all. But what do I have to offer this tiny human being apart from a very fucked up family and even more fucked up friends?

Natasha is an alcoholic and Clint gets off on blood and gore. Sam is a frequent visitor of Fury’s casino’s and an avid gambler, although I’m fairly sure that sooner rather than later he’ll choke on one of his precious peanuts first. As for Wanda, well, who knows what that little bitch is hooked on? Fortune cookies maybe?

What can I say, all my friends are heathens.

The baby’s two potential fathers aren’t much better either. Bucky’s practically a chimney with the way he’s been smoking cigarettes by the dozen these past couple days and Steve’s hunger for power will one day come back to bite him in the ass. My only hope is that my child won’t be a sex addict like her mother, that would bring me at least some small relief.

And God knows what’s on that flash drive I stole from Tony the other week. Every time I think about what I had to do in order to get my hands on it, cold shivers start to run up and down my spine. I swore I would never let that man lay a hand on me again and I broke my oath to myself. He’s neither a good nor a bad person yet all the skeletons I might find when I pay Scott a visit tomorrow might be too much for me to bear. I’m afraid of what I might find.

But I’m even more afraid of the consequences of what I did to obtain this information.

Scott’s a professional Dad but spends his free time playing the role of an ethical hacker. Even though I don’t know Scott that well, he has done some favours for me in the past and I greatly appreciate his help. He also knows that once he dares jeopardize our friendship, he will no longer have enough money to take care of himself, let alone his daughter. He says he found some interesting, highly encrypted files that I might find useful although he wouldn’t disclose anything else and sounded quite hesitant when I confronted him about it. Even so, he is willing to share them with me for a fair price and I also agreed to pay him a bit extra in exchange for his silence.

“Mommy?” A child’s voice disrupts my train of thoughts and I shoot up in my bed, quickly looking over to the other side of the bed to check if I didn’t wake up Steve but he’s still sound asleep, snoring a little and adorably scrunching his nose.

“Yes, Casey? Is everything alright?” My little girl is standing in the doorway, holding her teddy close to her chest and wiggling her feet, big brown eyes peering at me through the dim lighting of the moon.

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and walk over to her, picking Casey up in my arms and nuzzling my nose in the nape of her neck which makes her giggle just a little. “Did you have another bad dream, honey?”

She doesn’t say anything, just rests her cheek on my shoulder while I carry her downstairs, careful not to make too much noise and startle Steve. I sit her down on the kitchen counter, leaning my forehead against hers as I cup her tiny face in my hands, my thumbs tracing the dimples in her soft cheeks as she laughs.

“Mommy that tickles!,” she titters and I ask her if she’d like me to make her some hot coco. She eagerly nods and as I gather all the ingredients, she tells me about her bad dream. It’s nothing too scary but she’s a little shaken up nonetheless.

“You want to hear a story?,” I propose and she cheers, waving her hands in the air and reaching out for the cup of chocolate milk. “Careful, little bug, it’s hot.”

Sitting down next to her on the kitchen counter, nursing my own mug of the sweet liquid, I begin to tell her the story of how her mommy and daddy met, experience reminding me it’s most likely the only story she’ll want to hear. “When mommy was younger, she was very in love with a boy called James. But you see, your grandfather didn’t like James so he scared him away and made mommy really sad.”

She makes a disappointed sound as tears well up in her eyes. “Mommy don’t be sad,” she pouts and I pull her in for a hug, kissing the crown of her head and murmuring a reassuring “As long as you’re here, little bug, mommy will never be sad.”

After a minute or so I release her, resuming my story. “Then mommy met daddy who was one of your grandfather’s friends. You see, your daddy had been in love with your mommy for a very long time. But he never said anything because mommy is much younger than daddy and daddy was afraid your grandfather would disapprove. He was the only one who saw how unhappy mommy was and he tried to make it better.”

“Did he kiss it better just like you do with all my booboos?,” she asks innocently, eyes wide in eagerness and batting her thick eyelashes at me.

I chuckle softly. “Yes he did. Then mommy fell in love with your daddy too and we were very happy. And just when we thought life couldn’t get any better, we had you.” Casey’s eyes are twinkling with curiosity. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve already told her the story, she always seems to enjoy it more and more.

Nevertheless, there’s a downside to this story, one Casey knows all too well. “But daddy has a very busy job and with daddy work always came first, making mommy very sad again.”

Puckering, her little hands squeeze yours. “Is that why you met Steve? Tell me, mommy, I want to know,” she quips with her adorable childlike enthusiasm.

“You remember Sam’s bar, the Cuckoo’s Nest?” Casey shakes her head yes. “Well, mommy used to be a singer there too when she was younger and that’s how she met Steve. One night he came to see me sing and he paid mommy a big compliment.”

“I told her she had the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard.”

Unbeknownst to you, Steve had woken up shortly after you and Casey went downstairs. He wondered where you had gone and went to take a peek in Casey’s room when he heard your voice. Tiptoeing down the stairs, he remained hidden in the dark shadow of the staircase, eavesdropping on the two of you to see what you were discussing in the middle of the night.

He didn’t like hearing how much you used to love Bucky. The only reason he ever employed the guy is because it’s the only way he could ever keep an eye on him. Steve knows Bucky and his wife are too close for comfort, but there’s nothing he can do about it as long as Tony’s still in the picture. He promised himself that he would get rid of that fucker first before messing with Y/N’s boy toy. However, that doesn’t mean he’s just going to stand idly by when you reminiscence about your lovers Bucky Barnes and Tony Stark. So when you reached the subject of how your first meeting, he decided to intervene.

“You see, I had heard many great stories about your mommy’s voice, but I still wanted to hear it for myself. One night I let the people who were working on my campaign at the time off work early and found myself taking a detour to Sam’s bar. It’s been a while since I had seen him and I wanted to catch up. I didn’t know your mother was going to sing there that evening, but I hoped she would.”

Your little girl is absolutely infatuated with Steve and it awakens a small sting of envy and concern in your chest. It’s understandable that Casey is the apple of Tony’s eye, but the prospect that Steve might be equally besotted with your daughter is something you have never given too much thought. Until now.

“So when Sam noticed just how much Y/N had me under her spell, he asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Of course I said yes and we spent the entire night talking. Sam even had to kick us out in the end,” Steve says coming to stand behind to you, lacing his arms around your waist and pecking your cheek before resting his chin on the top of your head.

You allow yourself to lean into his broad frame, the comfortable and familiar warmth of his body making you feel at home. A house is not a home until you have someone to come home to, your nanny always used to say. Yet you’re fairly sure your nanny would’ve disagreed with that someone being Steve. She never liked Bucky either and only knew Tony for a brief period of time before she passed away, but she valued her principles more than anything else and if she were still alive, she would’ve smacked you in the face for sleeping with a married man.

Casey holds her hand in front of her mouth, stifling a yawn. “Is my little bug tired?,” Steve coos sweetly and she answers his question with a beaming yet lazy smile, her eyes already falling shut.

“I’ll take her to her room and tuck her in,” Steve suggests, kissing you lightly on the lips before cradling Casey in his arms and carrying her sleepy form upstairs.

You finish your hot coco and follow suit, sliding underneath the duvet and listening to the sounds coming from the room next to the master bedroom. You can make out Steve’s affectionate voice and Casey’s exhausted sniggers, hearing how he promises her to take her out for ice-cream the next day if she has a good night sleep.

I’m fucked up, I’m black and blue I’m built for all the abuse I got secrets that nobody, nobody, nobody knows I’m good on that pussy shit I don’t want what I can get I want someone with secrets that nobody, nobody, nobody knows

A minute or so later, the door to your bedroom creaks open and Steve joins you in the bed. Lazily throwing his arm around you, he rolls you on top of him until your body is draped over his in a warm unison. Your right hand rests on his heart and you can feel the steady beat pulsate underneath your touch. Looking up into Steve’s eyes you catch him smiling down at you.

“You and your daughter,” he whispers tenderly, “Are my girls. I will do whatever is necessary to keep my girls safe.”

“Steve…,” you begin but the soft press of his lips against your forehead silences you.

“I wasn’t finished,” he says gently. “What I’m trying to say is, we have a family here and you never let your family down. I don’t intend to go anywhere, Y/N. Whatever happens, I’ll stick by your side. Whatever decision you make, I’ll wholeheartedly accept it.” By now his voice is slightly breaking. “And I am so sorry for treating you the way I did. I was drunk and I was horny. I love you, Y/N. I love Casey, too. Will you please forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, my dear,” you sigh, your lips automatically drawn to his when his pleading eyes shine in perplexity at your words.

The kiss slowly comes to a start, hesitation reigning in both your hearts. Steve’s dirty blond tresses are so delicate underneath your fingertips, your hands weaving nonsense patterns into his hair as his mouth gives you open access. Now sliding entirely on top of Steve’s muscular body, he is able to pull you both upwards in one swift motion, tucking your legs around his thighs as you are able to straddle him now.

Your tongue skims his bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen this kiss. It’s then that Steve’s lips move away from yours and you search his eyes for the reason why. “I knew Peggy was wrong about you,” he murmurs into your ear, his teeth nibbling onto your earlobe, lips capturing it into his mouth.

Almost too far gone to properly register what Steve has just said, you swallow a hoarse moan spilling from your lips. One hand gripping his hair tightly, you pull him away from your neck where he is attempting to suck a dark bruise onto the fragile skin of your sweet spot. “Say that again?,” you demand adamantly, tugging at his blond locks so his eyes cannot escape yours.

“I knew Peggy was wrong about you. She was sure you were just a piece of ass to me, sure I would never come running back to you. Peggy was convinced you simply enjoyed taking my cock because no one else would pay any attention to you. But you don’t have to worry about Peggy, sweetheart,” he purrs modestly, brushing some stray curls from your eyes. “She’s dead. She can’t keep us apart anymore.”

“I know, Stevie, I know,” you release in a deep sigh. “Peggy is dead and I am about to fuck her widower. Strange how life works out in the end, isn’t it?” A small smirk appears which Steve takes as a sign to continue his worshipping.

I need a gangsta To love me better Than all the others do To always forgive me Ride or die with me That’s just what gangsters do

He resumes devoting his body to you, teeth tugging at your bottom lip and hands hiking up your night gown. You do not resist as he removes it from you or when his lips suckle on your nipple whilst the fingertips of his free hand pinch the other. You completely let go and throw you head back as his hands cup your sex, alerting you he’s ready for more.

Allowing him to take control, your hands trail down his chiselled abdomen to the hem of his t-shirt as you help him take it off. Sitting back on your calves, Steve is able to shimmy out of his boxer briefs, revealing his rock hard cock. He’s already dripping precum and you lower your head, tying your hair back with one hand so the other can play with his balls while you lick a broad strip from the base of his shaft to the very tip.

“Y/N, I need to be inside of you. N-N-No time for foreplay, hun.”

His voice is strained and you take it as a good sign. “Don’t be vanilla, Stevie” you coo as you hover over his crotch, lining yourself up with his beautifully thick shaft. “Do to me what you could never do with Peggy.”

Steve doesn’t need to be told twice. You can clearly observe the shift in demeanour as the light green specks drowning in his cerulean blue irises visibly light up. “Then get on all fours, baby,” he orders in a domineering tone. “Let your daddy fuck you hard.”

His dick pumps in and out of you at a bruising pace, his fingers digging into the cheeks of your ass as he holds them apart, allowing him a perfect view of his well-endowed manhood ruining your tight cunt. Trying your best to stifle your moans so Casey doesn’t hear what her mommy and Steve are up to this early in the morning, the pillows offers a most welcome distraction.

Steve’s teeth attack your shoulder as he lunges his torso onto your back, lips trailing down your spine in a low growl. He’s close and by the way your pussy is clenching his throbbing penis, you’re on the very brink of your orgasm as well. One hand leaves your soft bottom to play with your clit, his calloused fingertips relentlessly flicking the sensitive bundle of nerves as you bite down hard on your bottom lip, almost drawing blood at the overstimulation of your senses.

Just as you’re about to cum hard on his cock, Steve yanks you by your (Y/H/C) swirls and pulls your back flush against his chest. His left hand remains locked in place on your hip, the other lacing around your throat, turning your head away from him so your neck is exposed to the mercy of his teeth. He soothes the mark immediately after but this moment of tenderness does not last long as the hand that was around your throat, dances lower towards your entrance.

Without much further ado, Steve adds two extra fingers, dipping into you with such force and ferocity the pleasure is overwhelming. He’s testing you, stretching you out to see how much you can take before plummeting into an abysmal state of bliss. Groaning into your ear, Steve whispers an “I love you” knowing it will most likely deliver you the release you have been milking out of him.

Slapping your behind harshly, Steve’s hand on your lower back pushes drives you into the mattress. “Turn around, Y/N. You’ve indulged me, so let me pleasure you now.”

Your arousal quickly gains the upper hand and you roll over onto your back, legs still widely spread and crooking a finger to call Steve over. Kinking an eyebrow in suggestion and seduction, you watch as his hands work his still half-hard cock before lining up at your entrance again. Since all three men you’ve ever laid down with are delectably large, you have no issue taking him in one go, your juices in the aftermath of your first orgasm serving as enough lubricant for the second go.

This time the sex is more intimate. It’s not making love, for that Steve’s too hard on you, but it’s a proper fucking you thoroughly enjoy. Your legs are hooked around his slim waist, one of his hands teasing your breast as the other drawing nonsense pattern underneath your jaw. When you kiss, you do not tangle your fingertips in his hair, rather opting to rake them down his sculpted back and leave a visible red mark.

My freakness is on the loose And running all over you Please, take me to places that nobody, nobody knows You got me hooked up on the feeling You got me hanging from the ceiling Got me up so high I’m barely breathing So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me go

“Go faster, Steve. Don’t hold back on me now,” you encourage breathlessly.

You want him to remember this night just as much as you wanted him to remember the night he forcefully took you without your immediate permission. You want him to commit to memory how good it feels to fuck your woman when you have her consent.

Gasping when he hits your g-spot, you’re about to see stars. “I can be an obedient girl. I can be everything you want me to be,” you heave out in bits and pieces, struggling to form a coherent sentence. Another moan is ripped from your throat as he knocks his pelvis against yours, grunting ferally in approval. “I can be your wife, your mistress and your baby girl. I can even be your whore for fuck’s sake.”

“I don’t need a whore,” he pants into the crook of your neck. “I’m banging the fucking Brooklyn mob boss, why would I ever need a freaking whore.”

Crying out when another wave of cloud nine hits you, your coital haze blurs your line of vision so you can’t see his pearly whites scraping along your cheeks. Feeling his nose caress yours, you peck his lips in a chaste kiss, mainly because you’re unable to do anything else but focus on how he’s pounding into you still.

And then it hits you. “You bastard!,” you exhale loudly over the sound of both of you grunting and grinding in perfect synchronicity, your body remembering every ridge and every valley of Steve’s body. “You knew the whole time!”

He captures your lips in a bruising kiss, his hips jolting forward with a renewed power, laughing darkly at your indignation. Tearing your lips away from his, your fists connect with his firm chest, his thrust faltering just the slightest in anticipation of his orgasm. You continue to punch him but your determination is no match for his strength and he easily pins your hands above your head, a devious grin curling his lips upwards.

“Of course I did, darling,” he chuckles cunningly. Steve’s pupils are lust-blown, the deep black rims have completely absorbed the natural oceanic blue. He leans in closer, sharply snapping his hips and you cry out in ecstasy. “Peggy’s dead and you have me to thank for it.”

His head drops in between the valley of your breasts and you love the soft scratch of his day-old stubble more than you should at this point. Coming undone for the third time that night, Steve tumbles down into the rapture with you. Huffing heavily with the exertion, Steve’s weight settles into your body, the thick vein of his penis still pulsating inside of you.

“That was so good, baby. Please don’t be mad, I did it for us.”

“Get the fuck off me, Rogers,” you grit your teeth. He does as you command, moving over to his side of the bed again, his arm still resting on your bare stomach. The soothing tenor of his laugh is a mixture of recognition and endearment, the bile rising in your throat as your heart still skips a beat at the signature sound.

You sit upright in the bed, prying his arm away from you but Steve doesn’t give up so easily. Suddenly gripping your wrist, he prevents you from leaving the bed. “Y/N, for crying out loud, will you fucking listen to me?”

Snagging your hand away from him when his grasp on you wavers, you bundle the sheets around your exposed chest and turn your head to face him. “Then better start talking. I keep a gun between my stockings, so you are warned.”

“I’ll explain everything to you if you’ll just let me.” He holds his hands up in surrender and you nod in agreement.

Wiping the sweat away from his forehead, the bed dips slightly when he goes to the bathroom to retrieve a wet washing cloth for the both of you. “Here, let me help clean you up first.”

“There’s no way I’m letting you touch me, Steve,” you scowl hot-headedly. “You keep your filthy hands away from me. I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

His eyebrows knit together in an ugly frown while he sets his right knee down on the edge of the bed, drawing his face closer to yours. “If you want to know the truth, you’ll let me take care of you.” It does not sound like a threat, but there is definitely a warning hidden away in the intimidating tenor to his husky voice.

Laying back on the bed with an annoyed glare, you pull your knees up so Steve can settle between them. His touch is caring and careful as he gingerly wipes away the excess arousal. “You know,” he says in a teasing tone when he finishes up, “It’s been a while since I’ve tasted you.”

“Oh fuck off,” you throw back at him, cocking your head so your eyes do not fall on his hands tending to his own member with a second washing cloth, throwing it in the bathroom sink on his way over to the bed.

“I love you, Y/N, don’t you for a second doubt that,” he starts off his soliloquy with a plea. “I never intended to keep this from you, but if you must know all my secrets, I am willing to tell you everything. I don’t want them to create a wedge between us. But you have to promise me that you won’t kill me.”

“I can’t promise you a thing,” you spit out. “You’re lucky I haven’t kicked you out yet. I don’t want a killer near my daughter.”

He releases a bouldering laugh. “You don’t want a killer near your daughter?” He shakes his head, a wicked grin adorning his darkened features. “Oh doll, you have no idea, do you? You have no idea what kind of man I am, what kind of man you love.”

Part 9: the killers

@mellifluous-melodramas @mrshopkirk @winterboobaer @kiwi71281 @a-little-hell-to-raise @unpredictable-firecracker @marvelingatthewonder @emilyinwonderland3 @hardcorehippos @iiharu-kunii @knittingknerdy @winterwolf57 @dontbeamenacetotheforce @shamvictoria11 @theoneandonlysaucymo @bovaria @marvel-lucy @marvel-ash @thedragonblood @movingonto-betterthings @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes @marveliskindacool @redroomproperty @feelmyroarrrr @imamotherfuckingstar-lord @seargantbcky @seeyainanotherlifebrotha @meatballevan @amrita31199

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chellexo · 7 years

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I am in high school I am in college/university I’ve worked a job I’ve hated I’ve never had a job I am shorter than 5’5 I wear glasses

I have a tattoo I have more than one tattoo I don’t have tattoos but I want some I’m vegetarian I’m self-conscious about my body I’m sarcastic when annoyed I’m shy I’ve been called over-emotional I have a strange sense of humor I’m atheist I have red hair I have blonde hair I dye my hair regularly I wear a piece of jewelry at all times I am an only child I have more than three siblings I have a niece I have a nephew I’ve failed a class I couldn’t choose a favorite song I can play an instrument I can speak two or more languages I’ve hugged someone in the last 24 hours I’ve kissed someone in the last 24 hours I have a best friend I’ve known my best friend for more than 10 years I have met a friend from the internet I’ve kissed someone of the same sex I’m in/have been in a long distance relationship I’ve had a one night stand I’ve had sex in the past month I’ve been dumped more than I’ve dumped someone I’ve cheated on someone I’ve met someone famous I’ve been out of my home country I’ve broken a bone I’ve spent more than six hours straight online I’ve done volunteer work I’ve won a prize at school I have friends who are married I have friends who have children of their own I have been in a wedding party I’ve ridden in a limousine I am a morning person I am a night owl I like anime I like Disney movies I like comedies more than action films I like action films more than comedies I always order dessert I hate fast food I can’t cook I enjoy puns I enjoy being alone I read for pleasure I don’t play video games I believe in ghosts I believe in aliens (kind of) I enjoy conspiracy theories I’ve been somewhere considered ‘haunted’ I’ve stayed up all night for no reason I’ve had a Skype call with more than four people I can’t keep secrets I’m good with children I’ve cheated on a test I’ve watched an entire season of something in one day I am wearing something green right now I am wearing something yellow right now I am wearing something purple right now I’ve never tried alcohol I’ve had alcohol while underage I’ve played a drinking game I’m scared of snakes I’m scared of heights I’m scared of spiders I’m scared of clowns I collect stamps I collect comic books I keep old bus/train tickets I have more than three keyrings on my keys I don’t know the words to my national anthem I’ve been to a professional sports game I’ve had my hair cut in the past month I’ve cosplayed I can’t swallow pills I miss someone right now

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WOULD YOU RATHER…

Have the ability to fly OR Have the ability to be invisible

Work at your dream job for $50,000/year for the rest of your life OR Get paid $200,000/year to sit at a desk in a plain white room with no window and surf the internet on a 56k-modem connection

Live without music or live without T.V.? (This was the HARDEST choice, omg)

Be trapped in an elevator with wet dogs or with three fat men with bad breath?

Lose your legs or lose your arms?

Have a beautiful house and an ugly car or an ugly house and a beautiful car?

Be able to hear any conversation or take back what you said?

End hunger or hatred?

Know it all or have it all?

Have a mansion in the middle of nowhere or an apartment with 10 friends?

Be rich with an unhappy job or make less money with a job you like?

Be able to read everyone’s mind all the time or always know their future?

Would you rather get a dream vacation for two weeks or spend a week with anyone in the world?

Would you rather fly or read minds?

Would you rather have more time or money?

Would you have piercings or tattoos?

Would you rather have a rewind button in your life or a pause button in your life?

Would you rather have to sit all day or stand all day?

get Fridays off or get Mondays off?

have your flight delayed by 8 hours or lose your luggage?

be in your pajamas all day or in a suit all day?

be invisible or have super speed?

have an extra hour every day or have $40 given to you free and clear every day?

able to lie without being caught or always be able to tell when someone is lying?

eat only KFC for a month or eat only Taco Bell for a year?

in a fire save a.. Sibling or Stranger?

Be able to hear any conversation or Take back anything you say?

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Your name begins with a letter A through J. You don’t mind needles, and getting shots. Your favorite color is blue, purple, or green. You’re athiest. Your natural hair color is blonde. You’ve considered joining the military. Your best friend is taller then you. You wear makeup daily. You hate music. You watched Dragon Tales when you were growing up. You have Satellite television. You own at least 3 items from Forever21. You’ve broken a bone. Yuh h@+3 w3n ppl uze inc0rr3c+ gr@mm@. ^ that was difficult for you to decipher You live on the West Coast. You’ve attended a wedding. You have antisocial moments. At one point today, you wanted to punch somebody in the face. It’s after 3pm where you are. You hate Mondays. You have a Facebook. You play/played more then one sport. You’re afraid of heights. You don’t like Obama. You’ve been in the newspaper. You wanted to be a princess when you were little. You donate to charity whenever you can. You have a Bzoink account. You have no regrets. You use plastic bags at the grocery store. You love shopping. You can taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke. You have/had a teacher that you wanted to curbstomp. You have a friend that tries to shove their religion down your throat. You’ve gone camping. You cut your own hair. Your the palest out of your group of friends. You hate being lazy. You eat too much. You love fast food. You’ve been to the beach. You know somebody who’s died within the past 5 months. You’ve had an MRI. You still watch the Disney Channel. You’re guilty of enjoying the show Jersey Shore. You’ve been to Disneyland or Six Flags. You’ve never been in an airplane. There are no candles in your bedroom. You knew somebody involved in 9/11. You have ADD. You enjoy reading. Your favorite holiday is Halloween. You are well known in your community. You are listening to music while taking this.

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GRYFFINDOR: [x] You’ve never done illegal drugs. [ ] You have a lot of friends [ ] You get along with everyone [x] You haven’t made fun of someone for at least two months [ ] You love soccer [x] You love baseball [x] You’re into writing and art [x] Favourite music genre is pop rock [x] You believe in “innocent until proven guilty” theory [ ] Abortion is wrong [x] The war against Iraq is unneeded [ ] One of your favourite colours is red or gold [x] Good grades at school [ ] One of the worst things you can do is lie [x] You plan on going/ are going to college/university TOTAL: 9/15

HUFFLEPUFF: [ ] You’re content with mostly everything in your life right now. [x] You laugh a lot [x] You like to follow trends. [x] Politics suck. [x] You love to swim [ ] Water polo is awesome [x] Pink is one of your favourite colours [x] Black is morbid & depressing but you still like it though [x] Michael Jackson is talented as a musical artist. [x] You’re an optimist. [ ] You’re completely straight-edge. [x] You’re very emotional [ ] Rap, R&B, & hip-hop is your favourite music genre [ ] You don’t believe in going steady at a young age [x] You love animals TOTAL: 10/15

RAVENCLAW: [x] You’re depressed to a certain extent. [x] You love to read. [x] You appreciate theatre & arts. [ ] Sports suck. [x] You’re shy. [x] Hate is completely unneeded. [ ] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship [ ] Indie is your favourite genre of music. [x] Every once in awhile you have little anger outbursts. [x] Lying is sometimes okay [x] Blue is one of your favourite colours. [ ] Serious is better than funny. [ ] Academics come first [x] Libraries and bookstores are wonderful [ ] You don’t procrastinate TOTAL: 9/15

SLYTHERIN: [ ] There’s at least one person you hate. [x] Basketball is a good sport. [ ] Football is amazing. [ ] Black is a cool colour. [ ] You’ve lied about something serious. [x] You’re a very deep person. [ ] You have thought about suicide. [x] Very loyal. [ ] You like metal. [ ] They make school seem more important than it is. [x] You’re scared to grow up. [ ] You’ve done drugs in the past month. [ ] Anger is one of your primary feelings. [ ] You have trust issues. [ ] Guilty until proven innocent TOTAL: 4/15

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Harry Potter. [ ] Your hair is dark and can be messy. [x] You wear glasses. [x] You have a weird looking scar. [] You are brave. [x] You have green eyes. [] You like playing a particular sport. Total = [3]

Ron Weasley. [] You have red hair. [x] You are very loyal to your friends. [] You are deathly afraid of spiders. [x] You are sarcastic. [x] You don’t have a lot of money. [x] You have older siblings. Total = [4]

Hermione Granger. [] You are bossy. [x] You are intelligent. [x] Your hair is wavy or curly. [x] You have a cat. [] You usually know how to handle tricky situations. [] You get made fun of a lot. Total = [3]

Rubeus Hagrid. [] You are tall. [x] You are very friendly and soft hearted. [x] You love animals. [x] You are very helpful. [x] You give in easily. [x] You are very loyal. Total = [5]

Luna Lovegood. [x] You are weird and proud of it. [x] You don’t have loads of friends. [] You have blonde hair. [x] You are open minded. [x] You are quite spiritual. [] You believe in things most people wouldn’t. Total = [4]

Draco Malfoy. [x] You are manipulative. [] You can be very mean when you want to be. [] You are a snob. [x] You can get jealous. [] You have blonde hair. [] You enjoy pranks. Total = [2]

Neville Longbottom. [] You are close to your grandparents. [x] You are plump. [x] You are easily frightened. [x] You get nervous easily. [] You like frogs and toads. [x] You are geeky. Total = [3]

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DAUNTLESS [ ] You know how to operate a gun.  [x] You wear black.   [ ] You want to get/have tattoos or piercings.  [x] You are strong.  [ ] You play capture the flag.  [] You live freely.  [ ] You act quickly. Total: 2/7

ABNEGATION [x] You like helping people.  [x] You have a high role in your job/school.  [] You wear gray a lot.  [x] You believe in God or some other form of God.  [x] You don’t look in a mirror often.  [] You don’t like attention.  [x] You don’t wear a lot of jewelry. Total: 5/7

CANDOR [x] You tell the truth often.  [ ] You believe telling the truth is important.  [ ] You are very organized.   [ ] You enjoy debating over things.  [ ] You wear black and white a lot.  [ ] You like to know what people think of you.  [ ] You rarely lie. Total: 1/7

ERUDITE [x] You consider yourself smart.  [x] You love to learn [x] Blue is a color you wear a lot.  [x] You have glasses.   [x] You like it when you have total control.  [x] You read a lot.  [x] You are good with technology. Total: 7/7

AMITY [x] You are a peaceful person.  [x] You always have a smile on your face.  [ ] You wear yellow and red together.  [ ] You eat weird bread.  [x] You dance.  [ ] You garden or work on a farm.  [ ] You don’t take sides in a fight. Total: 3/7

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Check off all that you have experienced. Place a question mark if you are unsure.

[x] Fears of abandonment. [ ] Sexual violation. [x] Verbal abuse. [ ] Physical Abuse. [ ] Sexual abuse. [x] Bullying. [x] Self-hate. [ ] Self-Harm: Cutting. [ ] Self- Harm: Burning. [ ] Self-Harm: Hitting. [ ] Suicidal thoughts. [ ] Attempted suicide. [ ] One biological parent was absent from the majority of your life. [ ] You lived in a split household. [ ] You were adopted. [ ] You had a serious childhood illness. [ ] You have undergone mental trauma. [x] Your family fought. [ ] Your grew up in an impoverished area. [ ] Your family was in poverty when you were a child. [ ] You have/had/are recovering from an eating disorders. [ ] You’ve tried starving yourself. [ ] You are/were an alcoholic. [ ] You have/had a sexual addiction. [ ] You have/had a self-harm addiction. [x] You have/had a different addiction. [x] You have had no friends at one point in your life. [x] You’ve been lonely. [ ] You feel alone in the world. [x] You have social anxiety. [ ] You’ve experienced dissociation. [ ] You have a diagnosed dissociative disorder. [ ] You may have an undiagnosed disociative disorder. [ ] You’ve tried drugs. [ ] You’ve never drank. [ ] You’ll never drink. [x] You drink occasionally. [x] You drink socially. [ ] You drink seriously. [ ] You smoke. [ ] You chew tobacco. [ ] You have a diagnosed personality disorder. [ ] You may have an undiagnosed personality disorder. [x] You have phobias. [x] You may have undiagnosed phobias. [x] You have/had depression. [ ] You feel you have anger problems. [ ] You have seen a therapist/counselor. [ ] You have a hard time trusting others. [x] You’ve been in a minor car accident. [ ] You’ve been in a serious car accident. [x] You are Christian. [ ] You are Muslim. [ ] You are Jewish. [ ] You are Wiccan. [ ] You are another religion. [ ] You are agnostic. [ ] You are atheist.

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WHICH ALCOHOL ARE YOU?

Beer [x] You are generally a chill person. [] You often pass out at parties. [x] You have many different types of friends. [x] People generally like you, and never have problems with you. [] Beer pong or flip cup are the best drinking games to you. [x] You rather be steady when getting drunk, compared to getting drunk quickly. [] You have done a keg-stand before. [] You would say you are a sloppy drinker. [x] Your hangovers are mild. [] You get pumped to drink. TOTAL = 5

Whiskey [] You like sharp tough drinks. [] You never use a chaser, and you don’t do mixed drinks. [x] You have multiple shot glasses. [] You enjoy a bitter taste. [] You often talk shit about others when you’re drunk. [x] You like a comforting drink. [] You often isolate yourself from others when you’re drunk. [] You often are a miserable drunk to be around. [] You are more of a tomboy. [x] You are low-maintenance. TOTAL = 3

Vodka [x] You always have mixed drinks. [] ^ Or you drink straight from the bottle. [] You would say you are the crazy drunk. [] You have taken your clothes off while being drunk. [] You have hooked up with multiple people in one night. [] You have thrown up multiple times. [] If drinking doesn’t make you feel crazy it isn’t fun. [] You don’t even like the taste of alcohol. [] People either love you or hate you. [] You often get involved in your friends’ drama. TOTAL = 1

Wine [x] You don’t drink often. [x] You are typically a lightweight. [] You hate everything about beer. [] You get horrible hangovers. [] You would say you are sophisticated. [] ^ Or you have very nice taste in things. [] You often think you are better than other people. [x] You can be really judgemental. [] You are one of those people who never stop talking. [] People act fake towards you often. TOTAL = 3

Tequila [] You’ll literally drink anything as long as it gets the job done. [] You are fearless. [] You are obnoxious. [] Scary movies are your favourite. [x] Your attitude can be somewhat moody. [] People never know what to expect from you. [] You often prefer drugs over alcohol. [] You would say you are a slut. [] Girls get jealous over you easily. [] You just always seem to have some drama surrounding you. TOTAL = 1

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[x] I have read a book. [x] I have been on some sort of team. [] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping. [] I have been to Canada. [x] I have watched cartoons for hours. [x] I have tripped UP the stairs. [x] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs. [x] I have been snowboarding/skiing. [x] I have played ping pong. [x] I swam in the ocean. [] I have been on a whale watch. [x] I have seen fireworks. [x] I have seen a shooting star. [] I have seen a meteor shower. [] I have almost drowned. [x] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear. [x] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again. [x] I have had stitches. [] I have had frostbite. [] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there [x] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects. [x] I currently have a job [x] I have been ice skating. [x] have been rollerblading [x] I have fallen flat on my face. [x] I have tripped over my own two feet. [] I have been in a fist fight. [x] I have played video games for more than 3 hours straight. [x] I have watched The Power Rangers [x] I do/have attended Church regularly. [x] I have played truth or dare. [x] I’ve called someone stupid. And meant it. [x] I’ve been in a verbal argument. [x] I’ve cried in school. [] I’ve played basketball on a team. [] I’ve played softball on a team. [x] I’ve played baseball on a team. [] I’ve played football on a team. [x] I’ve played soccer on a team. [] I’ve done cheerleading. [] I’ve swam on a team. [] I’ve been on a track or cross country team. [x] I’ve been swimming more than 20 times in my life. [] I’ve thrown up going on a ride at an amusement park. [x] I’ve climbed a rock wall. [] I’ve lost more than $20. [x] I’ve called myself an idiot. [x] I’ve called someone else an idiot. [x] I’ve cried myself to sleep. [x] I’ve had (or have) pets. [] I’ve owned a Spice Girls cd. [] I’ve owned a Britney Spears cd. [] I’ve owned an N*Sync cd. [] I’ve owned a Backstreet Boys cd. [] I’ve mooned someone. [x] I’ve swore at someone. [x] I’ve been in the newspaper. [x] I’ve been on TV. [] I’ve been to Hawaii. [x] I’ve eaten sushi. [] I’ve been on the other side of a waterfall [] I’ve watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies. [x] I’ve watched all the Harry Potter movies. [] I’ve watched all of the Rocky movies. [x] I’ve watched the 3 Stooges at least once [] I’ve watched “Newlyweds” Nick & Jessica. [x] I’ve watched Looney Tunes. [] I’ve been stuffed into a locker. [] I’ve been called a geek. [x] I’ve studied hard for a test and got a bad grade. [x] I’ve not studied at all for a test and aced it. [] I’ve hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs. [] I’ve hugged my dad within the past 24 hours. [x] I’ve met a celebrity/music artist. [x] I’ve written poetry. [] I’ve been arrested. [x] I’ve been attracted to someone much older than me. [] I’ve been tickled till I’ve peed. [x] I’ve tickled someone else until they cried. [x] I’ve had/have siblings. [x] I’ve been to a rock concert. [x] I’ve listened to classical music and enjoyed it. [x] I’ve been in a play. [] I’ve been picked last in gym class. [] I’ve been picked first in gym class. [x] I’ve been picked in that middle-range in gym class. [x] I’ve cried in front of my friends. [x]I’ve read a book longer than 1,000 pages. [] I’ve played Halo 2. [x] I’ve freaked out over a sports game. [] I’ve been to Alaska. [] I’ve been to China. [] I’ve been to Japan. [] I’ve had a fight with someone over AIM/ MSN/ Yahoo Messenger [x] I’ve had a fight with someone face to face [x] I’ve had serious conversations on any IM. [x] I’ve forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me. [x] I’ve been forgiven. [x] I’ve screamed at a scary movie [x] I’ve cried at a chick flick [x] I’ve watched action movies. [x] I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs. [] I’ve been to a rap concert. [] I’ve been to a hip hop concert. [x] I’ve lived in more than 2 houses. [x] I’ve been to other states. [x] I’ve been homesick. [x] I’ve thrown up [] I’ve puked on someone. [x] I’ve been horseback riding. [x] I’ve filled out more than 10 myspace surveys. [x] I’ve spoken my mind in public. [x] I’ve proved someone wrong. [x] I’ve been proven wrong by someone. [] I’ve broken a leg/foot. [] Broken an arm, wrist, hand, finger, or knuckle [x] I’ve fallen off a swing. [x] I’ve swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight. [x] I’ve watched Winnie the Pooh movies. [] I’ve forgotten my backpack when I’ve gone to school. [x] I’ve lost my backpack. [] I’ve come close to dying. [x] Someone close to me has died. [x] I’ve known someone who has died. [x] I’ve wanted to be an actor/actress at some point. [] I’ve done modeling or done a beauty pageant [x] I’ve taken something/someone for granted. [x] I’ve realized how good my life is. [x] I’ve counted my blessings. [x] I’ve made fun of a classmate. [x] I’ve been asked out by someone and I said no. [] I’ve asked someone on a date and been turned down. [x] I’ve slapped someone in the face. [x] I’ve been skateboarding. [x] I’ve been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend. [x] I’ve lied to someone to their face. [x] I’ve taken a day off from school just so I don’t go insane. [] I’ve fainted [] I’ve had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not. [] I’ve pushed someone into a pool. [] I’ve been pushed into a pool

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Summer [x] You love your freedom [] You’d rather be hot than cold [x] You love swimming [] You tan easily [] You love grilling/barbecuing [x] You like fireworks [] You were born in the summer [] Your favorite holiday is the 4th of July [x] You like the beach [] You live in the South [] You hate wearing trousers/pants [x] You love lemonade or iced tea [] You own more than one bathing suit [x] You like water parks [] You own a convertible

Total: 6

Fall [] You’re constantly changing your looks [x] You love sweaters [] Halloween or Thanksgiving is your favorite holiday [] You like to eat squash [] Your favorite sport is football [] You love haunted houses [x] You prefer to call it ‘autumn’ [] You love pumpkin flavored things [] Your favorite color is orange [] You like apple cider [x] You like to see the leaves change color [x] You like voting [] You love going back to school [] You live in the Midwest [x] You were born in the fall

Total: 5

Winter [x] You’d rather be cold than hot [x] You own at least three scarves [x] Christmas is your favorite holiday [x] You love snow [x] You like to use your fireplace [x] You like hot chocolate [x] You love to snuggle [] You go big on New Year’s Eve [x] You know how to ski [x] You live in the North [x] You love ice skating [] You love to wear fur or leather [] You were born in the winter [x] You have built a snowman before [x] You loved Frozen

Total: 12

Spring [x] You love plants [ ] You have a green thumb [ ] Easter is your favourite holiday [x] You like pastel colours [x] You love a cool breeze [x] You like the sound of rain [] You were born in the spring [x] You love starting things fresh [x] You like to eat salads [x] You love picnics [x] You love to write poetry [x] You have been to prom [] You’re not scared of bugs [x] You like going to festivals [x] You like to pick flowers

Total: 11

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i am… [x] i am a university student. [] i am a cuddler. [x] i am an okay dancer. [x] i am a huge fan of lists. [x] i am a morning person. [x] i am a perfectionist. [ ] i am a republican. [ ] i am allergic to something deadly. [] i am an only child. [x] i am catholic. [x] i am content as of this moment. [ ] i am currently in my pajamas. [ ] i am currently pregnant. [x] i am currently single. [ ] i am embarrassed to be seen with my mother or father. [ ] i am currently suffering from a breaking heart. [ ] i am okay at styling other people’s hair. [ ] i am left handed. [ ] i am married. [x] i am obsessed with my tumblr. [ ] i am online 24/7, even as an away message. [x] i am procrastinating by filling out this list. [x] i am resentful that i have to grow up. [x] i am very shy around the opposite sex. [ ] i am, or was, pigeon-toed. [ ] i bite my nails. [x] i can be paranoid at times. [] i carry a weapon with me everywhere i go. [ ] i collect picture frames. [] i currently have a crush on someone. [x] i consider myself to be a ‘nerd’. [x] i currently regret something that i have done/am doing. [x] i curse frequently. [ ] i don’t hate anyone. [x] i enjoy country music. [x] i enjoy jazz music. [x] i enjoy smoothies. [ ] i enjoy talking on the phone. [x] i have a car. [x] i have a mobile phone. [ ] i have a hard time paying attention at school. [x] i have a hidden talent. [x] i have a hobby. [x] i have a lot to learn. [x] i have a pet. [x] i have a secret that i am ashamed to reveal. [] i have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy. [ ] i have all my (real) grandparents, none of them have died. [x] i have at least one brother and/or sister. [x] i have avoided work to play with my tumblr. [x] i have been in a real relationship. [ ] i have been in a threesome. [] i have been rejected by someone. [ ] i have been the “psycho ex” in a past relationship. [x] i have been to another country. [ ] i have been to an anime convention. [x] i have been to europe. [ ] i have been to las vegas. [x] i have been told that i am very smart. [x] i have been told that i have an unusual sense of humor. [ ] i have broken a bone. [x] i have caller i.d. on my phone. [ ] i have changed a diaper. [x] i have changed a lot over the past year. [ ] i have cheated on a significant other. [x] i have counted down the days until the summer. [ ] i have dated my best friend’s ex. [x] i have done something illegal. [ ] i have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. [ ] i have gone scuba diving/snorkelling. [x] i have had major/minor surgery. [ ] i have had my hair cut within the last week. [ ] i have had sex with someone i was not in a relationship with. [ ] i have had the cops called on me. [ ] i have snogged someone i knew i shouldn’t. [] i have snogged someone of the same sex. [ ] i have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past. [x] i have mood swings. [x] i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life. [ ] i have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months. [x] i have rejected someone before. [] i have seen the lord of the rings trilogy. [] i have seen the television show the o.c. [x] i have swam in the ocean. [ ] i have tried a drug that is illegal. [x] i have tried sushi. [x] i have watched sex and the city. [x] i have watched the television show spongebob squarepants. [] i know how to shoot a gun. [x] i like being the center of attention. [ ] i like eating ramen noodles. [x] i like my handwriting. [x] i like shakespeare. [ ] i like the taste of blood, [x] i like to cook. [x] i like to sing. [ ] i like to vacuum. [x] i love learning foreign languages. [x] i love michael jackson. [x] i love my friends [ ] i love olives. [x] i love rain. [x] i love sleeping. [x] i love to play computer games. [] i love to shop. [x] i miss someone right now. [] i own 100 cds or more. [ ] i own a home. [] i own and use a library card. [x] i play a musical instrument. [ ] i practice a religion that is not considered mainstream. [x] i read books for pleasure. [x] i shave my legs. [ ] i sleep a lot during the day. [ ] i strongly dislike math. [x] i think britney spears is pretty. [x] i think long strings of html code look cool. [ ] i think that pizza hut makes the best pizza. [ ] i think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often. [] i was born in a country other than the usa. [ ] i watch more tv this year than last year. [] i watch soap operas on a regular basis. [ ] i wear contact lenses. [ ] i will try anything once. [x] i work at a job that i enjoy. [ ] i would classify myself as ghetto. [x] i would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. [ ] i like orange kool aid. [x] i can name all 7 of the dwarfs from ‘snow white and the seven dwarfs’. [ ] i like being at school. [x] i always love wearing sweaters. [ ] i love water polo. [x] i am currently wearing socks. [ ] i am being nostalgic right now. [ ] i hate summer. [x] i am tired. [x] i love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt

i have…. [x] been drunk. [ ] smoked pot. [ ] done ecstasy. [ ] done coke. [ ] done crack. [ ] done heroin. [ ] done opium. [ ] done pcp. [ ] done lsd. [ ] done ccc’s. [ ] done prescription narcotics for recreational purposes. [ ] huffed air-duster. [ ] been to a rave. [x] been to a real party. [x] kissed someone. [x] ridden in a taxi. [ ] jumped a ramp with a bike. [ ] been dumped. [ ] been used. [] shoplifted. [ ] ran from the cops. [ ] been in a room of your school that you could get suspended for being in [ ] been fired. [ ] been kicked out of a movie theater. [x] snuck into a movie. [] been in a fist fight. [ ] got hit by a car. [] fired a real gun. [x] snuck out of your parent’s house. [ ] been arrested. [ ] gone in a mosh pit. [x] stolen something from your school. [ ] celebrated new years in times square. [ ] gone on a blind date. [x] lied to a friend. [x] had a crush on a teacher. [ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans. [x] been to europe. [x] skipped school. [ ] thrown up from drinking. [x] played ‘clue’ [x] had a sleepover party. [x] gone ice skating. [ ] cheated on a bf/gf. [ ] been cheated on. [ ] had your tonsils out. [ ] been exposed to laughing gas. [x] had a car. [x] driven a car. [ ] totaled a car.

do you… [x] feel loved. [x] feel lonely. [x] feel happy. [x] hate yourself. [x] have a dog. [x] have your own room. [x] sing along with your music. [ ] dance around the house in your underwear. [ ] listen to hawaiian music. [ ] listen to underground hip hop. [x] listen to rap. [x] listen to classic rock. [x] listen to new rock. [x] listen to country. [ ] listen to reggae. [] listen to techno. [ ] listen to hardcore punk. [x] listen to pop. [] listen to r&b. [ ] listen to jazz. [ ] listen to crooners. [x] listen to bands that can’t be put into a category. [x] have hobbies. [ ] skateboard. [ ] do aggressive inline. [ ] snowboard. [x] ski. [ ] surf. [ ] skim board. [x] have more than 1 best friend. [x] get good grades. [x] play an instrument. [ ] have slippers [ ] wear boxers [x] wear black eyeliner. [x] like the color blue. [x] like the color pink. [x] like the color red [x] like the color green [x] like the color black [x] like the color purple [x] like neon colors [x] like to read. [x] like to write. [x] have long hair. [ ] have short hair. [x] have a laptop. [ ] have a pager.

are you… [x ] bored. [x] happy. [ ] bilingual. [ ] hawaiian. [ ] blonde [x] a brunette [ ] a redhead [ ] a darkhead [ ] samoan. [ ] filipino. [ ] korean. [ ] british. [x] white. [ ] italian [ ] black. [ ] inuit [ ] mexican. [ ] asian. [x] a christian [ ] a muslim [ ] a jew [ ] a hindu [ ] a scientologist [] an atheist [ ] satanist [ ] short. [ ] tall [x] just right [x] realistic [ ] an emo kid [ ] sick [ ] mad [x] lazy. [ ] talking to someone. [ ] iming someone. [x] scared to die. [ ] buzzed [ ] high [ ] caffeinated [x] sleepy. [ ] annoyed. [x] hungry. [x] thirsty. [ ] on the phone. [] in your room. [ ] drinking something. [ ] eating something. [x] ticklish. [] listening to music [x] a virgin.

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Random Things I Love: [x] Hot cocoa. [ ] Toy cameras. [ x] Scrapbooking. [x] Having loads of free time. [ x] Waking up early. [ ] Rice Chex. [x] Uno. [ ] Bunny slippers. [x] Having something to look forward to. [x] Stickers.

Words/Terms I Use Daily: [x ] “Wow.” [ ] “That’s so gay.” [x ] “I know, right?” [ ] “Fuck it.” [x ] “I don’t even know.” [ ] “What even?” [ ] “I’m shitting bricks.” [x ] “I can’t even.” [ ] “Kill yourself.” [x ] “Seriously?”

Things I Do Daily: [ ] Exercise. [ x] Tumblr. [x ] Talk with my family members. [ ] Take surveys. [x ] Charge my iPod and/or cell phone. [ ] Play with my pets. [ ] Eat dinner with my family. [ x] Wash my face. [ ] Take photographs. [ ] Write and/or draw.

Places I’ve Been: [x] New York City. [x ] Pennsylvania. [x ] New Jersey. [x ] Maryland. [x ] Washington, DC. [ x] Florida. [x ] California. [ ] Arizona. [ ] Hawaii. [ ] Canada.

Things In My House: [ ] A Mac computer. [ ] A set of encyclopedias. [x] A flat screen TV. [x ] A PS3. [ x] A piano. [ ] A Christmas tree. [x] A toaster. [x] An electric mixer. [ ] A mini trampoline. [ ] An exercise machine.

Things I Dislike: [x] Burning my tongue on hot food. [x] Not being able to find what you’re looking for. [ ] Getting the chills. [ ] Gloves. [x] Unpleasant surprises. [x] Being really hungry. [ x] Litter boxes. [x] Annoying advertisements. [x] Having an itch in my throat. [ ] Socks.

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Romance []You’ve had the same significant other all through high school till now. []You’ve fallen in love with your best friend (and him / her has fallen as well). []Danielle Steel novels are your favorite. []You’ve had a secret admirer before. []Your favorite kiss is the jumping on someone and kissing them deeply. [x]You love flowers. [x]You like pop and country. []You dream about the perfect wedding. [x]Red or pink are one of your favorite colours (the colour of the heart). []You’ve had a guy friend / boyfriend paint your toenails before for you. [x]You base who you’ll date on how they compare to romance movies / novels. []Someone you never thought would fall for you has fallen for you before.. Total: 4

Comedy []You’re well known as being a ditz. [x]You are or were the class clown. [x]You don’t go a day without laughing. [x]You’ve embarrassed yourself in front of a large group of people. []You’re not a very serious person. [x]You crack jokes all the time. []People say you’re really hyper. []Dane Cook is a silly bitch! []You like to pull pranks on people. [x]You always find the funny part of things. [x]Your life isn’t perfectly planned out. []Your the “spur” of the moment type person. Total: 6

Drama []You’ve spread a rumor about a friend / someone else. []Someone has spread a rumor about you. [x]You’re very emotional. [x]There’s lots of twists in your life. []You’re pessimistic. []You LOVE to get revenge. []You always need to get to the bottom of things. []If someone said something about you, you’d confront them about it. []You like to / or have friends in big groups. []You can’t keep secrets. []People tell you not to be too serious all the time. []You’ve cheated on your significant other before. Total: 2

Tragedy [x]You have some form of disorder / illness. []You’ve lost more than 4 people in your family / friends to death. []You’ve been suicidal before. [x]You cry a lot. []You’re always listening to sad music. []You feel like everyone is always against you. [x]The unexpected makes you nervous. []You like to bully / pick on other people. []Someone getting hurt amuses you (in movies). [x]You screw up a lot, or at least feel like you do. []People always seem to let you down. Total: 4

Horror []You have very vivid / scary dreams. []Scaring people is fun. []You’ve witnessed a murder / someone dying. []You always feel like someone is watching you. []You LOVE being scared. []Horror movies are your favourite. []You’d like to be a ghost watcher / finder. []Vampires are so cool! []Loud screaming music is your thing. []You’re a very timid person. []When the phone rings, you always expect the worst. Total: 0

Classic [x]You have good morals. [x]You’re still a virgin. []You believe in marriage before sex. []You like black and white better than color. []You like dressing up really fancy. [x]You think guys should still hold doors open for you. []Men should approach women. [x]Marriage is something that should be taken very seriously, and for the long haul, no matter what happens. []You wear very little makeup (less than the average girl). []Your music taste is very 60’s / 70’s and 80’s. Total: 4

Action []You’re always on the move. []You always start fist fights. [x]You’ve wished to be some sort of super hero before. []You like watching / taping fights. []Wrestling is one of your favorite things to watch. []You’ve always got a comeback to something someone has said. []You think you’re tough. []The unexpected excites you. []You’re very daring. []You’ve been bungee jumping / or would go bungee jumping. []You’ve survived something tragic. Total: 1

Porn []You’re always thinking about sex. []You’re very kinky. [x]Sex is okay without loving someone. []Sex is fun, anytime of the day. []You’ve done more than 5 sexual positions. []It’s all about foreplay! []Screw kissing, let’s just get to it! []You’ve been tied up. []You’ve had more than one partner at the same time during intercourse. []You have songs that you put on to get “in the mood”. []You’ve had one of your biggest sexual fantasies fulfilled. Total: 1

Musical / Theatrical []You express yourself through some form of dancing. [x]You’re always breaking out into song. [x]People can tell what mood you’re in by the type of music you’re listening to. []People tell you that you’re pretty random most of the time. []You’re always smiling. []You’re very dramatic. []You like to dress up. []You hope to become an actor / actress. []You love to dance! []You’re good at doing impersonations. [x]You overexaggerate a lot. Total: 3

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WHICH GREEK GODDESS ARE YOU?

Aphrodite -> Goddess of Love and Beauty [] People would say you are beautiful but you have no brains. [] You are very fierce and unpredictable. [] You have cheated on someone. [] You have been with many people. [] Sometimes you act really clumsy. [x] You can be strong and powerful if you put your mind to it. [] You receive a lot of attention from the opposite sex. [] ^ You get called a whore/slut etc, but really you aren’t. TOTAL = 1

Artemis -> Goddess of the Hunt [] You would consider yourself to be strong (physically). [] You have gone hunting before. [x] You like the moon better than the sun. [x] You don’t think you will ever get married. [] You would say you are more of a tomboy. [] You are a daddy’s girl. [x] You are a virgin. [] You do not take criticism well. TOTAL = 3

Athena -> Goddess of War/Wisdom/Weaving [x] You like playing musical instruments. [] You want to become a teacher. [] You like to be the leader of things. [x] Equal rights for women is something you’d fight for. [x] Many people look to you for advice. [x] You don’t like it when situations are unfair. [] You would consider fighting for your country. [x] You get jealous easily. TOTAL = 5

Hera –> Queen of the Gods [] You get jealous a lot especially of your bf/gf. [x] You can be really mean if you want to be. [x] You can be vain and self-centered. [x] You enjoy attention. [x] You fight for what you believe in. [] You are not a coward, nor afraid of many things. [] You demand respect from everyone. [] You enjoy getting revenge. TOTAL = 4

Hestia -> Goddess of Hearth and Home [x] You are very caring and compassionate. [x] You find it easy to forgive others. [x] You have many siblings. [] You want to have a big family when you are older. [x] You would say you are nice to everyone. [x] People easily take advantage of you. [] You are fine with being the responsible one. [] You’d rather be serious than silly. TOTAL = 5

Gaia -> Goddess of Earth [] Your favourite thing is nature. [x] You want to help protect the environment. [] You use clean sources of energy. [x] You have helped clean up the environment before. [x] You get upset thinking about the damage done to the Earth. [] You have been part of some earth group. [] You would take part in a protest. [] You are a vegetarian. TOTAL = 3

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You’re kind of a loner You are a Leo You are a Taurus You actually like the way you look usually You’re afraid to put your head underwater You almost drowned once You have an older brother Your brother is somewhat famous You have a cat You have a dog You have a hamster You’re extremely shy You have social anxiety You hate all sports You don’t have a best friend these days You drink soda at least once a day You’ve been in a relationship for 4+ years You’ve kissed eight people in your lifetime You’ve had six boyfriends/girlfriends in your lifetime You watch a lot of shows on Netflix You only read fiction/fantasy books You’re addicted to the Sims You have at least two Sims expansions You also love music games like Rocksmith, Rock Band, and Singstar You actually enjoy playing games like WoW, LoL, and Final Fantasy Online You don’t live with your parents You love Rami Malek You’ve never asked anyone out Everyone you’ve dated has been older than you You can touch your nose with your tongue You can kick the back of your head Your favorite foods are Italian and Greek food You also love Indian food lately You’ve been to other countries You’ve been on another continent You have a very busy schedule all the time You rarely get to hangout with people You’re in a band You’ve hungout with bands before You love concerts You love alternative rock You also love electronic/dubstep You’ve been driving for at least a year You have your own car Your house is always messy You watch anime every now and then Your favorite TV show is Vampire Diaries You also love American Horror Story and The Walking Dead You’re in college You’re not a teenager anymore You are good at drawing You procrastinate a lot You’re afraid of throwing up You’ve never did anything self-destructive Your biggest fear is death You’re not a picky eater at all You love food You love sleep You’re not really into partying You hate alcohol You rarely drink alcohol You drink alcohol all the time You dye your hair an unnatural color You have green eyes You wear makeup daily You absolutely love having new clothes You wear glasses occasionally You never wear contacts You had braces when you were younger You have been/are in a relationship with a Capricorn You have been/are in a relationship with a Pisces Your grades aren’t as good as you’d like them to be You are a music major You used to love myspace You now love facebook, and go on it everyday You also love Instagram and use that everyday You have a Tumblr You hate Twitter and find it pointless You’ve had all your wisdom teeth pulled Your parent has cancer You know someone who has cancer Your other parent is bipolar Your parents are still together, but fight a lot You’ve moved across the country You live in the USA You live near the west coast You live near the east coast You live in the midwest You have a job You love your job You hate your job You’re a cashier/barista You work in retail You’re a waiter/waitress You’d like to find a new/better job You’re afraid to kiss your significant other in front of your parents You’re afraid to tell others that you have a significant other for reasons You love Halloween and dressing up You take quite a few selfies You have no piercings or tattoos You really want tattoos You want to get married in the next five years Your want to have kids in the next ten years You have no intention of wanting kids but wouldn’t mind company Your consider your significant other’s family to be your family Your significant other can sometimes get on your nerves but you still like/love them anyway Your significant other is someone who understands you Your significant other is a smoker You have a very slight accent You’re very pale You’re of Russian descent You are Jewish You’re a really good singer You play piano You play flute You can’t dance You’ve never slow danced Your high school prom sucked You’re really good at spelling You’re pretty bad at math You hate chemistry You’re pretty good with languages You can speak 3+ languages, but just one fluently You are pro-choice You want gay marriage legalized You’re straight You want marijuana legalized in all states You wish alcohol was illegal You wish you had bigger boobs You’re very petite You’re average You’re overweight You rather not disclose what you are You are 5’5” You like vintage You live with your significant other You live in an apartment Your significant other makes much more money than you You believe in God You pray daily Your first kiss was terrible You smoke weed sometimes You’ve smoked hookah before You’ve never smoked a cigarette and don’t plan to You’ve never done any real drugs and don’t plan to You love romantic comedies You love musicals You’ve been in musicals You only have two living grandparents You also have a step-grandparent You have six first cousins You can never seem to find matching socks You love chocolate You try to be optimistic You get depressed sometimes You’re really self-conscious You’ve dated people before that you haven’t even liked You’ve had 2+ serious relationships You’ve had sex with two people in your lifetime Your hair won’t seem to grow anymore You straighten your hair too much Your nails are always shorter than you’d like You’ve been to both Disneyland and Disneyworld You’ve been to Universal Studios You’ve been to the Harry Potter World You never get super drunk You love wearing studs You love wearing lace You love wearing animal prints Your favorite colors are aqua, purple, and black You’re not a virgin

#survey #march 21 2017 #personal #me

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