#I am sick of this woman and cannot fucking wait to be free of her and around someone that sees how bad I am

[alostlittleriverlotus]

literally can't even have suspected diagnoses/shit I'm gonna get examined/tested for/discuss in case I have it without my mother literally downplaying it. I mentioned how my inhaler has already helped me breathe better and how asthma seems likely especially with everything else in me that asthma might affect/other stuff that might affect asthma and she already fucking downplays it.

Can you just fucking let me have an issue without making it seem less bad? Cause it IS bad. Stfu. Actually stfu. Shut up!!! Ugh. Even back to when I first got diagnosed with GAD, she downplayed it. She downplays my OCD cause she thinks cause she has OCD too that they're equal. She still ignores and downplays my autism and how I literally cannot be independent cause of it. She completely overdramatizes yet downplays any trauma I mention. She overreacted when I mentioned migraines which made me backtrack and lie and then she just completely ignores my constant fucking headaches. Every time I mention a worrying symptom of anything, she downplays it despite apparently being "worried about me" even though her worry just means: wanting me to be a functional, independent, and productive member of society that can work and live alone.

Can you just fucking listen to me for once?! Just actually fucking stop downplaying my disabilities because you don't want to accept that they ARE this bad!!! Stop, it literally just feels like you're fucking denying my god damn reality!!!

#vent #rant #neglected #neglected child #system #disabled #disability #just fucking sick of having all my fucking experiences downplayed cause she expects me to be the functioning neuroconforming person she is #and sees me as basically another version of her and whenever I'm not like her then she shuts down and treats me like I'm too much and awful #I am sick of this woman and cannot fucking wait to be free of her and around someone that sees how bad I am #I'm already done playing the part and masking and pretending and normalizing it but she isn't #her main goal is just to stop the pain so I can ultimately be independent #she still thinks that I have to be independent to be happy and that is NEVER going to happen #even if all my physical shit was magically fixed and I didn't struggle well I would still be neurodivergent and have disorders and needs+ #+that impact my ability to live and phobias that prevent me from being able to live alone #And I'm fucking fine with that and my best friend is fine with that as one of the major supports in my life #I just fucking can't with this woman #I am so fucking sick of her

[peninkwrites]

The Green Room - Ch 3 of 4

Showfall Media’s recasting process starts with a trip to the green room. There, cast members are offered the truth before the slate is wiped clean…

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 2

Ch 4

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE - RECASTING 104

“Hello, Charlie!  It’s good to see you again,” a cheerful voice jars him awake.

Charlie sits up sharply, heart already racing, body remembering things his mind can’t.  He feels something constricting his chest, tightening around his wrists, even his ankles.  “W-What…?  Why am I… Why am I tied down?!  Why can’t I move?” Charlie tugs desperately against the bindings around his body.

“Hi, Charlie,” a woman sits across from him with a clipboard, smiling.  “You’re tied down because you have a history of quickly getting violent when you start to remember, but I’m sure you can figure as much from how you’re struggling right now! I’m going to try to move fast, jump-start the process, we’re pretty good at it by now, huh?”

“What’re you… What’re you even saying?” Charlie can’t explain the panic gripping him, but he knows this is wrong, this is bad, but that doesn’t change the fact that he cannot move.

“Charlie, I am a technician who works for Showfall Media.  You call me Dr. Smith,” she says gently.  “We’ve met and talked many times before, you just don’t remember.”

“Where’s…” Charlie’s chest feels very tight, old pain digging into him, not merely internally, but it feels like his skin is pulled too taught, phantom claw marks digging into his back, wrapping around his torso.  “Where are they?”

“Where’s who, Charlie?” The woman asks.

“Where are the others?” Charlie feels dread deep in his gut.  “Do you… do you have Ranboo?”

“The others are alive.  They’re fine, Charlie.  They’re either in their Green Rooms being prepped for recasting, or they’re waiting for their next roles,” Dr. Smith looks slightly puzzled.  “Hm.  You don’t usually ask about specific costars, but I guess this last role you had, you really bonded with Ranboo as the Hero, huh?”  She laughs.

Charlie feels sick.  “Roles?  I don’t… I don’t understand.  I don’t know what’s happening,” he has a tremor in his voice, even as he feels like this is not a place for weakness.

“You will,” she says simply.  “This is the part where you listen.”

Charlie glances frantically around the room, it’s irritatingly calm, furnished with padded wooden chairs, almost like a waiting room.  They’re alone, as far as he can tell.  He looks down at his own body and sees thick straps holding him in place.  There’s no way he could tear free, he sees no escape, so he slumps back, weary.

“Listen to… listen to what?”

“Hm, we could call it a recap of sorts.  You’re one of our oldest cast members, so there’s a lot to fill in, but we also are really good at this by now, huh?” She says, voice sickly sweet.  “What do you remember, Charlie?”

“What… I don’t… I don’t remember.  I don’t remember fucking anything, alright?!  I don’t… I don’t understand what’s happening.  Who the fuck are you?” Charlie sounds more pleading than angry.

“I told you who I am.  Are you asking who Showfall is?”

“And you’d tell me?  If I asked, you’d tell me what Showfall is?” Charlie says it like a challenge rather than a question.

“Of course.  You can ask me questions.  Whatever you like, and I will help you fill in the gaps,” she says with a knowing smile.

“I don’t… I don’t want you to tell me.  They’re my memories, I should fucking remember them!” Charlie shouts at her, still trying uselessly to tug free.

“Yes, that complaint I still don’t quite understand.  Obviously, you don’t remember them, so, what’s the harm in hearing it from me?”  She asks.

Charlie falters.  “Still?”

“Yes, Charlie.  Still.  I knew you would say that.  You always do,” she nods, as if satisfied.

Charlie’s anger is swallowed by panic then swallowed by dread.  There’s a long pause, as she waits for him to reply as he has many times before.  “Always?”

“Yes, Charlie,” she speaks with endless patience.  Every time, the terror is new for Charlie, but for her, it’s part of the routine.  “Always.”

Charlie pauses, trying to piece together with what little memory he does have.  “Showfall… Showfall made all this.”

“Correct.”

“And… it was a show.  All of it was a show.”

“Correct.  And you were following a script, and whatever story you currently have in your head is not quite the truth, and no, you don’t have a family or anyone waiting on the outside for you.  Although,” she laughs, “waiting would imply if you did have a family, you would have access to them again one day, but that’s simply not true.”

One by one, she answers his next questions.  She knew what he was going to ask, because he always asks.  Charlie is stunned, frozen save for his frantic breathing.  “This is… this is fucked,”  he laughs, voice high and frantic.  “This is totally fucked!”

“Mhm,” she is neutral, not attempting to defend the company nor admonish its immortality.  “How is your memory looking?  Sometimes if I go too fast it doesn’t start coming back immediately.”

Charlie’s mind is not an empty cavity, there are memories, memories that contradict and overlap, memories he cannot trust.  “I’ve been here… I’ve been here for so fucking long, right?” He’s still pleading, maybe for a different answer.

“Yes.  A very long time,” she waits for him to continue.  “See, I shouldn’t have led the conversation like that.  I should have just let you repeat as needed.  So, go ahead!  Ask what you’re going to ask,” she says brightly.

Charlie remembers the cabin.  He remembers being a child there.  He remembers the walls always had ghosts, he just didn’t realize that included a camera.  The role he played couldn’t have been the cabin.  It was the devil, it was the slime and the absurdity and the cruelty he remembers with distaste, but the cabin… The cabin was fake too.  He remembers seeing the set just before… just before the pain set in.  He remembers the cabin being real, too.  Not merely when he found himself emptied of all impulses except mischief, but of older memories.  Much older.  Those memories too are distorted and strange, little shreds of understanding.  Sleeping underneath the bare wooden rafters, playing with toys, his little bike.  The whispering from the walls keeping him up at night.  If he was there as a boy, if that’s where he grew up, then why can’t he picture his mother’s face?  Why are there only this bare shards of memory, never something to be called a whole person?  Charlie tries to search for a life within himself, but there’s only the pieces.  His entire life, broken like that stupid jar of ashes… He maybe had a grandmother, but he doesn’t remember her, he only remembers the ashes.  “I don’t… I don’t remember anything before… before this.  It’s just… it’s just bad, it’s just lot’s of bad a-and nothing from before.  When do I… when do I start remembering before?” Charlie asks.

She has an answer ready.  “Well, most people even without rewrites don’t remember very much that far back.”

Charlie feels nauseous.  It reminds him of claws embedded in his chest.  “How… how far back?”

“Coming up on 19 years now!  Don’t worry, I haven’t been here that whole time, before me, there was someone else who was assigned to you, and before then, someone else.  And, before you ask, that means you joined Showfall when you were five years old.  You, of course, weren’t part of any of our productions until you were much older, it was more like… you were in training.  No, we do not have any record of your parents.  We have no idea who they were, but no one has coming looking for you, not even back then, so it doesn’t really matter, now, does it?”

“Why’d… why’d you say don’t worry?  Is that supposed to… to fucking reassure me?” Charlie buries the tremor in his voice and tries to fill it with anger.

She shrugs.  “Sometimes it does.  If I didn’t say that, you’d get freaked out, try to hold me responsible,” she laughs.  “When, we both know I’m just doing my job, I’m just a cog in a much bigger machine.”

Charlie tries to think, he tries to piece together what little he can gather, and he finds only pain.  “There was… there was the cabin, I don’t understand that, but that was… oh god, it gets worse… it gets so much fucking worse, on the table, on the… the operating table, why did I sound like that?” Charlie asks desperately.  “It’s… two memories, it just sort of goes… it blurs together.  I was talking to Ranboo, but I was also screaming, I was begging him to stop, I wanted it to stop, but at the same time––like, the exact same fucking time––I felt nothing.  I just… I just talked to him.  How does that… how does that make any sense?”

“Well done, Charlie.  See, Showfall has a wonderful process that allows us to have both post-production footage and live footage coexisting simultaneously,” Dr. Smith sounds almost excited now, ready to gush about the magic of Showfall Media.  “We cannot fully erase your body’s reaction to, say, disembowelment, but you just screaming the whole time doesn’t make for good TV, of course, so post-production programs you before the show, to act you know, entertaining, while your body and mind still react to the trauma being inflicted, all at once!”

“S-So… so what you did to me, what… what you had Ranboo do, that… that wasn’t fake?”

“None of it was fake.  We here at Showfall value authenticity.”

Charlie nods slowly, eyes swimming, words choked and weak, “so… so what I remember, the cabin, that was real?  But I… I saw the cameras a-and the missing wall, it was a fucking set, but what I remember, it’s– Fuck, my head feels so fuzzy…”

“Well, that exact backstory wasn’t fully accurate, but the best way to make a sturdy backstory is with grains of truth.  You grew up somewhere like that, but yes, it did have a 4th wall.  In the literal sense, not the philosophical sense, of course.”  Dr. Smith stands.  “Scent and taste are some of the greatest triggers for memory.  Would you like a mint?  You’ve had one here before.  They’re nice, see?”  She takes one from the bowl on the coffee table and puts it in her mouth, as if to prove it’s not poisoned.

Charlie shakes his head.  “I don’t… I don’t have parents.  So, who raised me?”

“Showfall did.”

“No, no I mean–”

“Who exactly, I know, I know,” she rolls her eyes.  “I thought I already clarified this, I’ll do better next time,” she makes a note on her clipboard.  “You didn’t have a singular guardian.  They worked in shifts, Charlie.  There is no one person you can pretend is a parent.”

“That’s… that’s not what I’m trying to do.”

“You’re looking for a family, correct?  Or, as I said, maybe just someone to blame?  Usually it’s one of those two.”

“Will you just let me fucking answer?!  Just– Just stop saying it for me!” Charlie snaps.  Weaker, he stares at the faded carpet.  “You… you said you would stop.”

“You’re right.  I apologize.”  Insincere.  She sits back down across from him.

“I… I remember.  I remember some… stuff,” Charlie starts out unsteadily, still refusing to look up at her.  He feels like there are lines of hot wire across his back and his stomach, phantom claw marks he remembers well.  It could have actually been hot wires at the time too.

“Go on.”

“I remember… I was in my office… but it wasn’t my office, it was… it was a mall, but I didn’t realize it… not until Ranboo grabbed me…  I couldn’t see it, not until… Fuck, that doesn’t make sense, how can… how can something look different from one fucking second to the next?!”

“I said I’d answer your questions, but that one, the science is way above my paygrade.  In that instance, your headphones played something that you were programmed to respond to in a certain way.  Not that that was necessary, it was just useful to ensure you reacted the right way when Ranboo took the headphones off.  I can’t explain much better than that,” she at least sounds apologetic.  “Regardless, your office…” she laughs.  “It isn’t real.  You realize that, don’t you?  That was your office.  The details, the home outside that office, that part was… as I said, edited in post.”

Charlie stares at her, baffled and anguished.  “My… my whole f-fucking life… none of it is real.”

She smiles, condescending pity radiating.  “It’s as real as you are, Charlie.”

“I just want to be a person!” He pleads, choking back tears, throat still raw from screaming on that operating table he so vividly remembers.  “An actual… an actual fucking human being!”

She sighs, and she looks terribly kind as she stares at him.  “You don’t even know what that is.  You’ve been here far too long for that.”

“I…” That seems to stun him out of it a bit.  He feels sick.

“Let’s focus on what you remember, Charlie.”

“No!  No, I don’t… I don’t care, I know it’s not… I don’t remember, I don’t, I want…” Charlie trails off, hanging weakly from the chair.  He doesn’t know what he’s trying to say, what he’s hoping will come of this.

“What do you remember?  It will help, I promise.”

Charlie finally nods.  He doesn’t look at her.  “I remember… the kitchen.  That kitchen, in the cabin.  The…” Charlie closes his eyes, two intersecting versions of the same place overlapping and creating a fog in his head.  “The door into the basement was wrong.  In the… in the fake one.  That door, it was supposed to open onto the top of the stairs, not…” His eyebrows furrow.  “Not right into the basement, it doesn’t make any sense.  It’s not a basement.”

“Well done, Charlie,” the woman almost sounds teasing.  “The set could not have an actual basement, obviously.  Just as it couldn’t have an actual attic.”

“But I remember…”

“Yes, you remember the Cabin being laid out like an actual building, but the actual set had to work differently, see?”

“That… that doesn’t make sense.  I… I remember…” Charlie finds it harder to catch his breath, as two layouts overlap, creating something almost impossible in his mind, his comprehension wanes, his vision blurs.  “It doesn’t make sense!  It doesn’t make sense!  It can’t be… It can’t!”  He gasps for air, screaming until his lungs ache.

Dr. Smith stares at his hysterics with mild alarm, but not anything like concern.  “I’ll make a note about set design for next time, clearly, the contradiction is too much,” she says by way of comfort.

“My head… my head f-fucking hurts.  It’s the same door, it’s the same fucking door but it opens on stairs and!  And it goes right in the basement and there’s no fucking fourth wall!” Charlie laughs, high and hysterical, vision blurring as tears finally spill free.  “It doesn’t make… any  sense… Any sense…”

“Charlie, please calm down, or I’ll have to sedate you.  That will put off your recasting, and undo our work here, and make the whole process much more unpleasant,” Dr. Smith tries to talk loudly over his babbling.

“It’s broken!  It’s all fucking broken!  I can’t remember, I can’t––it hurts!” He yanks against the restraints even as he feels sharp pain, as his skin breaks and blood beads around them.

“Sedate him,” Dr. Smith snaps her fingers and a masked figure enters the room.

“Stay away from me!  Stay the fuck away!” Charlie struggles desperately, trying to pull away when the figure grabs his head, pushing it to the side, exposing his neck.  Charlie sees a needle.  Then the room starts to blur.  He can’t scream anymore.

Dr. Smith’s voice continues through the haze.  “I’m sorry about this, Charlie.  We’ll be more careful with set design next time.  And next time we meet, I’ll make sure you have a mint, hm?  Things tend to go better when you do.”

Charlie cannot protest, he cannot scream anymore.  “Normally, he’s much better behaved.  He hasn’t gotten aggressive like this since we introduced the new restraints.”  Her voice is fuzzy now too.  She isn’t talking to him.  His wrists don’t hurt anymore either, instead, a staticky numbness has spread. “We should definitely be more careful with the architecture.  And be extra rigorous with his recasting, brutal, even, considering how bad it got this time.”   Blackness eats away at his vision until he can’t see.  It’s getting harder to hear.  His chest hurts.  “I know the showrunners won’t love waiting on the recovery time, but better than a breakdown like this happening live…”

And then, as always, there is nothing.

#my writing #genloss #generation loss #charlie slimecicle #oooh love the horror of impossible architecture #love cosmic horror of the incomprehensible

[ave09]

Oooh could you please write a fic where John Book (from Witness (1995)) has to hide out in a Jewish community and ends up falling in love with Jewish fem!Reader but this time he stays and marries her?

YES! pardon my french, but i fucking love john book! as much as i love han and indy, john is definitely my favorite harrison ford character and witness is my favorite harrison ford movie.

stronger

john book x jewish!reader

note; this is a long one and i apologize in advance, it got a lil sloppy at the end bc i was tired 😭, but this is 100% the best thing i’ve written for tumblr imo. also, i am not jewish and don’t know much about judaism, so i hope that this is somewhat realistic. might make a part two to this, we’ll see what happens

ALSO: I JUST WATCHED THE TWO HARRISON FORD JACK RYAN MOVIES—OH LORD IM IN LOVEEE

“ma’am. can you please tell me what you saw? is there anything you remember that you didn’t before?” 

“i told you everything i know, officer.” you stated. it was true. despite the image’s continuing to pass through your mind, you couldn’t think of anything that you hadn’t mentioned. 

“well, could you go over it again?” you huffed, glancing at the handsome officer seated in front of you, “i told you. i went to the washroom, someone was washing their hands. i entered the stall, locked the door as i did so, i noticed through the crack of the door, a black man and a white man entered the washroom. you know the rest.” 

“tell me again.” 

“i admire your persistence, mr. book, but i’ve told you about three times now.”

“well let me hear it again.” he said, hazel eyes staring intently at you. you sighed deeply, the images flashing through your mind rapidly as you spoke of them again. 

“the white man covered the woman’s head with a jacket, strangling her, the other took out a knife, slitting her throat.” 

“and then?” 

“i only saw the black man’s face, but he and the white man left.” 

john book nodded, his gaze flickering to the file on the desk in front of him. “and of all the men we’ve shown you, you haven’t recognized any?” 

you shook your head, “it was only a glimpse, but i remember.” john pursed his lips, setting down the red pen in his hand before folding his hands before him, remaining silent.

you picked at your fingernails out of nervous habit, “mr. book, when will i be able to go home?” you questioned, “my father is waiting for me, i’m sure he’s worried sick.” 

“i’m afraid we’re gonna have to keep you around for a little while longer, ma’am.” he replied, “but please, feel free to call your father, let him know you’ll be staying here a little while longer.” your eyes widened, “mr. book-“

“john is fine.” 

“mr. book, i cannot stay!” you exclaimed, “i must go home!” 

the man sent you a smirk, rising from his seat, “feel free to use denise’s phone, she’s right over there, now excuse me.” before you could even protest, the man rose quickly, walking away, leaving you alone in the crowded police station.

you huffed in annoyance, rising from

your own seat, turning to go to the desk that was used by a woman named denise. you walked past an awards display and paused, taking a moment to admire all the trophies. 

and that’s what you saw it. 

a picture of a man, a familiar man. you gasped softly, realizing where you knew him from. 

he was the one in the bathroom. 

the murderer.

“hey, aren’t you gonna call-“ john trailed off, noticing how tense you were, “you alright?” you pointed at the picture, “that’s him.”

“what?”

“the man from the bathroom. that’s him.” 

— — — — — —

you sat in john’s small apartment, waiting for his return. he’d called earlier, claiming that you needed to pack your bags and he would take you home.

it was abrupt, concerning. but you did as he said anyways. your bags were packed and ready to go.

you wondered what caused the change of heart. as of this morning, he was still insisting you stick around. and now he was willing to send you back to your village. 

it was all strange. 

suddenly, john burst through the door, breathing heavily. you caught sight of red liquid blooming through his white button up shirt. your eyes widened, “mr. book-“

“get your stuff,” he panted, heading toward the bathroom, “mr. book!” you called, watching as the man leaned against the door, breathing deeply. 

you cautiously moved towards him, placing a gentle hand upon his shoulder, “john.” 

he finally glanced at you, hazel eyes swimming with worry. “are you okay?” you asked softly. he licked his lips, nodding, “fine. i’m fine.” and without another word, he slipped into the bathroom, leaving you to await his return. 

— — — — — —

the drive to your village was silent, the only sound being the hum of the engine. you glanced up at the man in the driver’s seat. his face held a stoic expression, gaze fixated on the road ahead. 

and yet he seemed troubled. you wished to ask what was bothering him, but refrained. surely you’d only irritate him further. 

his large hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, turning it as the vehicle entered through the open gates of her community village. he continued driving until you spotted the familiar figures of your mother and father. 

“stop here.” 

but the car continued to roll forward. 

you glanced over at john, only to see him

blinking slowly, his body tilting forward slightly. “john? john!” he slumped forward, the car continuing to move forward. 

you could hear your father screaming, “look out!” 

and before you knew it, the vehicle smashed into the large oak, smoke billowing from under the hood. thankfully, neither of you had received any injuries.

you immediately looked to john, trying to wake him. your eyes darted to the blood blooming through his shirt. you knew something was wrong! this had to be it! your fingers tugged on the fabric, ripping it away to get a better look at the wound. 

it had been poorly bandaged, but considering the size, you assumed it to be a gunshot wound.  your father rushed towards your side of the car, throwing the door open, “Bistu gut!?” (are you alright?)

“yo, ober er iz nisht! ikh darf rufn an ambulance!” (yes, but he’s not! i need you to call an ambulance!) you were so panicked that your two languages were mixing now. 

john groaned, “no, no ambulance.” he muttered weakly. “what do you mean? you are hurt john, you need medical attention!” 

“they’ll find me.” 

you furrowed your brows, “who will find you?” you asked softly. the man let out a shakey sigh, taking your hand, giving it a firm squeeze, “no hospitals.”

you glanced at your father, “bet di mame zi zal tsugreytn meyn tsimer far im, bite.” (ask mama to prepare my room for him, please.)

your father shook his head, “mir kenen nit dem mentsh-“ (we don’t know this person.)

“papa please.” you begged, your voice cracking in desperation. your father hesitated for a moment before nodding, and rushing back to the house. 

you turned back to john, holding his hand a little tighter, whispering, “just hold on.” 

— — — — —

it had been two days since you and your family had taken john book into your home, and he’d yet to awaken. 

you hadn’t left his side.

your mother was kind and had been taking care of him. she’d patched up his side and given him antibiotics to fight off the infection. but you had seen such a different side of him these past two days.

it was strange how such a strong person became weak in the matter of a second. john had been trembling, talking deliriously as the fever got to him. his dialogue spanned from threats to pleas. it was hard to watch. 

“i’ll fucking kill you-back off.” 

“don’t even try it, don’t fucking try it.” 

“just let me die. i’ve got nothin’ to live for.”

“you wanna kill me? go for it, put me out of my damn misery.” 

your mother tried to will you to leave him during these times, but you refused. at one point, it was getting so bad that you moved to leave, but then he called your name.

it was soft, a whimper. one could barely make it out, but he said it. so you stayed. 

it was the third morning when he finally awoke. you had fallen asleep in the chair beside the bed, completely exhausted. 

but your eyes had fluttered open to see john gazing at you. you couldn’t fight the smile that spread across your lips, “hi john.” you greeted, leaning forward.

“hi doll.” he replied, his voice soft. “how are you feeling?” 

“shitty.” you suppressed a laugh, “you pulled through, we didn’t know if you’d make it.” 

“well i’m a survivor, that’s what i do.” 

you rose from your seat, moving towards the door, “i’ll let my mother know you’re up, so we can get you some real food.” as you turned the corner, he called you back, “hey-“

you peeked around the doorway, “yes?” 

“thank you, for saving my life.” 

you smiled softly, “you’re welcome.” and without another word, exited the room. 

— — — — — —

a week or so had passed since john came to stay in your home, and he’d quickly grown accustomed to your lifestyle. being jewish, you had specific rules you had to follow.

one could not mix milk and meat, one could not eat pork, one must not profane God’s name and so many more.

but john was doing his best to follow them all. 

but there was one rule that he was struggling to follow, and it wasn’t one set by the jewish community, but by your father. 

stay away from my daughter.

you didn’t know about this rule of course, which led you to spend more time with the man. 

and in all honesty… you were falling for him. 

maybe it was his devilishly handsome looks, his charm and charisma, his dedication to pleasing your community. 

there was no doubt about it, your feelings grew stronger every time you were around him. 

little did you know, he was feeling the very same way. 

sparks were flying, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. 

one night, you were in your room, saying your prayers, when someone knocked. “who is it?” you called.

“john.” 

“come in.” 

the door creaked open to reveal the handsome man, he sent you a smile as he approached the bed, “can i..?”

“yes, sit.” he did so, the mattress dipped slightly. he glanced at you, noticing your folded hands. “was i interrupting?” 

“oh, it’s fine-“

“no, no, go ahead, you can continue.” smiling softly, you closed your eyes to continue praying, but paused.

you opened them again, looking up at the man, “would you like to pray with me?” john seemed surprised to say the least, but, he nodded, “uh, yeah, sure.”

you watched as he folded his hands, bowing his head, eyes closed. you did the same, reciting a nightly prayer, “Praised are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, who closes my eyes in sleep, my eyelids in slumber.

May it be Your will, Adonai, My God and the God of my ancestors, to lie me down in peace..”

unbeknownst to you, john had opened his eyes and was watching you-no-admiring you as you spoke. john had tried his best to keep his feelings out of this situation.. but he couldn’t help but fall for you.

you were everything he wasn’t, and it worked so well. you were all he needed. and he wanted you more then anything. 

you had finished up your prayer, opening your eyes to find john staring at you. you tilted your head, eyes narrowing in confusion, “what?”

the man remained silent, but instead, scooted closer to you. your furrowed your brows, “john?” 

the way he was looking at you now was overwhelming, and yet you yearned for more. slowly, he leaned in, hazel eyes darting to your lips.  

you were waiting, waiting for him to make a move. but he stilled, as though nervous.

‘just kiss me.’

unable to control yourself, you tilted your head upwards, capturing his lips in a short kiss. you pulled away quickly, seeing how he hadn’t reciprocated the action. 

worry set in, had you misread the signs? immediately you rose, “i-i’m sorry,” you went to move towards the door, but felt a large hand catch your wrist, whirling you back around, “come back here,” he mumbled before smashing his lips against yours. 

the act caught you by the surprise, but it didn’t take you long to melt into it, your arms snaking around his neck, his muscular arms holding your waist.

it was the most intimate thing you’d ever done, and you wanted so much more of it. 

— — — — — —

a few days had passed since john kissed you, or you kissed him. and you two of you had been doing everything you could to hide your “relationship.” sneaking kisses behind your family’s back, although, unbeknownst to you, your mother had caught you and john once, but had said nothing. happy to know you’d found someone who truly cared about you.

it was a fun little fantasy, and you enjoyed every second of it. 

but it came too an end too quickly.

john had finally tried to contact his partner, a nice man named elton carter, had been killed.

and that is when you received the news. 

“go back? you’re leaving?” 

he nodded, “yeah, tomorrow morning.” his voice was low, sad. he truly didn’t want to leave—he didn’t want to leave you.

“will you come back?” you knew why he had to go, but you could only hope he might return.

“i’ll try.” 

you felt tears sting your eyes, “i don’t want you to go, john.” you whispered, your voice cracking. he smiled softly, stepping towards you, engulfing you in a tight embrace. 

your body shook as you broke down in sobs, burying your head into his chest. “why must you go..?” 

“i know. i know.” he rested his head upon your head, “it will work out. i promise.” he whispered, pecking the top of your head.

that is how you spent the rest of the night. he laid with you, holding you close. cherishing every second with you… unaware of the terrors that would await in the morning. 

— — — — — — 

you awoke alone. you heard john downstairs, surely preparing to leave. 

you wished to bid him off. you quickly got out of bed, for once not carrying that you were still in the same clothes from the night before. 

you hurried down the stairs, trying to keep your emotions in check, but was surprised to find john standing there, looking shaken.

you immediately knew that something was wrong. 

“what’s the matter?” 

“they’re here. they found me.” you felt panic set in immediately. “h-how?” “i don’t know, but you gotta-“

“book!” 

your father and mother suddenly appeared by the staircase, worry in their eyes, “what’s going on? book, who are those people?” 

he turned to them, “i need you both to hide, go out the back, find someplace safe.” they didn’t  hesitate to run off. he glanced at you, “go with them.” 

you shook your head, “no.”

“doll, now is not the time to be stubborn-“

“book! we know you’re in there!” 

“john, i’m not leaving you alone with them!”

the man retrieved his handgun from the waistband of his pants, retrieving ammo from his pocket, “don’t you understand? they are going to try and kill me, they’ll try and hurt you too.”

“then i go down fighting.”

“no!” 

“book!” they were at the door now. 

you and john each exchanged wide eyed glances before you beckoned him upstairs. he followed quickly. the two of you entered your bedroom just as you heard the door break open downstairs. the only way out would be through the window and jumping off of the roof, which was somewhat safe considering the grass could cushion the fall. 

you threw open the window, beckoning him forward, but he shook his head, “you first! i’ll meet you on the ground!” 

you didn’t argue, but climbed out the window, careful not to hurt yourself. you then began to crawl towards the edge of the roof, when you heard a scuffle. 

someone had found him. everything in you told you to turn back, to help, but what could you do? you had no weapon, you hardly knew how to fight. . so you continued on. you were about to jump off the edge, when a gunshot echoed throughout the air. 

you whipped around, waiting to see who exited the window. praying it would be john. 

a wave of relief washed over you as you spotted the man. he was alive, he was okay. 

now assured that he was safe, you jumped down, landing on your backside, which wasn’t too painful considering the fluffy grass your father worked so hard to maintain.

as you rose, you caught sight of a man, who was now rushing towards you. you ran, but he was faster. he practically tackled you, confining you from moving. you thrashed, shouting, “john!” 

he was standing on the roof, eyes widening at the sight. “no!” 

you called his name again, but paused midway, feeling the cold metal of the barrel of a gun against your temple. 

you were more afraid then ever. you watched as john jumped off, tucking and rolling somehow before rushing toward you.

“don’t come any closer!” the man holding you shouted, pressing the gun harder against your head. 

“she has nothing to do with it, paul, let her go.” john was oddly calm. if only you knew how scared he was in that moment knowing that in the blink of an eye, he could lose you. 

“i’ll kill her, back the fuck up, book!” 

john shook his head, “no you won’t. mcphee’s dead, he’s the real murderer. you think you can kill am innocent woman, paul?” 

you could feel the man, who you now knew to be paul, trembling. 

“you can’t do it. you’re weak, always have been. and you know it.” john snarled. 

“drop the gun and let her go.” 

the man adjusted his grip on the gun in hand, and you closed your eyes in fear, terrified of what could happen. 

and then he dropped the gun. 

and he let you go. 

you stumbled forward, but john was there to catch you. he pulled you close, kissing you more passionately then ever before. he then pulled away, hugging you to his chest.

“it’s okay. you’re safe now… it’s over.”

— — — — — —

john book was a free man. free to return to the station. they’d assign him a new partner and he’d continue on.

but how was he supposed to leave you?

you sat on the porch, watching him walk to his car, which he’d fixed himself whilst staying with you. he’d said his goodbyes, thanked your family for their help.

there was nothing else to do… was there? 

he pulled open the door, climbing into the drivers seat, closing it behind him. 

and you still sat there. waiting for something, anything to happen. you watched as he pulled out onto the road, and began to drive away.

you couldn’t believe it.

he’d really left. 

with a heavy heart, you sighed, rising from the porch steps, moving towards the door to return inside-

but the sounds of tires screeching caught your attention. you turned, to see john’s car whipping around, screeching to a halt in front of your home.

the man then threw the door open, running toward you, practically jumping up the porch steps. his hands flew to your waist, lifting you up slightly as he kissed you hard. 

the fireworks were there once again as he spun you around, your lips dancing in sync with his. 

he then set you down, pulling away, his signature crooked grin upon his lips. “what-i-i don’t understand.” you were breathless due to the intensity of the kiss.

“i want you.” 

you were taken aback. “what?” 

“you. i want you-i want to be with you.” he clarified, cupping your face with his large hands as he kissed you again. 

“i love you.  and i want to be with you. i don’t give a damn what i have to do-hell, i’ll even convert to judaism if i have too-“

you kissed him, silencing his rambling. a moment passed and you pulled away, smiling softly, “i love you too, john.” 

he let out a surprised chuckle, as though he couldn’t believe you felt the same way. 

“yeah?”

you nodded, “yeah.” he then kissed you again, and again, and again, as though he was incapable of stopping. 

funny how such a horrid tragedy could turn into such a beautiful love story, never would you expect for such a thing to happen.

and yet it had for you and john. and you had never been happier.

#harrison ford x reader #young harrison ford #harrison ford #harrison ford movies #witness movie #john book #han solo #indiana jones #indiana jones x reader #han solo x reader #this is literally the best thing i’ve written in a hot min

[queenshelby]

The Secret – Part Four/Final Part

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Fem Reader

Words: 2050

Warnings: Smut

Tag List (Cillian Murphy):

@lilymurphy03  @deefigs @theflamecrystal   @desperate-and-broken  @weepingstudentfishhorse   @livinginfantaxy  @rosey1981  @atomicsoulcollecto  @peakyboyslover  @nerdy4itall  @elenavampire21  @hanster1998  @mariapaiva13  @fairypitou  @harry-is-my-sunflower  @zozeebo  @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa  @littlewierdalien  @sad-huffle-nerd  @theflamecrystal   @peakymalfoyscullymulder  @themissthang  @0ghostwriter0  @stylescanbeatmyback  @1-800-peakyblinders​ @datewithgianni  @momoneymolife  @ntmynouis

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@l0tsofpennies @margoo0 @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee  @daydreamingnymph  @fookingshelby  

-----------

Over the next two weeks, Cillian and you continued to keep your relationship a secret on set. You both believed that no one knew that you were seeing each other. But this was far from the truth. By that time, both Emma and Anthony knew about you. Yet they never spoke about it.

Anthony could understand why you and Cillian weren’t forthcoming about your relationship. You only just started working on set during this season of Peaky Blinders and Cillian was one of the producers. There would clearly be some controversy and gossip if people found out especially since there also was a rather large age gap between you.

Nonetheless, you hated to keep your relationship a secret especially when you saw other women on set showing some interest in Cillian.

There was one woman in particular who bothered you and this was Cillian’s new assistant Amanda.

She showed an obvious interest in Cillian and, being Cillian, he was oblivious about it which was somewhat adorable. He never noticed when women were crushing on him, yet he was the one who tried very hard to set everyone else up on dates.

After some filming during early hours of the morning, Amanda had yet another breakdown. It seemed that she couldn’t handle Cillian’s erratic schedule and, whilst you knew that Cillian was somewhat frustrated about it, he remained calm and even gentle, telling her not to worry too much about getting things wrong.

He was a patient and kind man and you loved exactly that about him, but when it came to Amanda, his kind and patient nature irritated you and you were just about to have your first argument.

In his trailer, you couldn’t help but confront him about his interactions with Amanda.

‘You do realise she is doing these things on purpose to get your attention, right?’ you sighed as Cillian read through his schedule for the remainder of the day. By that time, you both had already been up for five hours and you were tired after you had spent all night together with Cillian.

‘Are you jealous?’ Cillian chuckled with a grin on his face, not taking you seriously at all.

‘No, why would I be jealous?’ you asked annoyed just before Cillian took both of your hands into his and pulled you closer towards him.

‘Exactly. You have no reason to’ Cillian said before pressing his lips onto yours. ‘I am in love with you, no one else’ he added as your lips drifted apart.

‘I am just over this…us hiding our relationship from everyone. Despite, she is clearly taking it a bit far don’t you think?’ you pouted, waiting for Cillian to kiss you again.

‘She is very attentive, that’s for sure’ Cillian chuckled, ignoring your comment and your pout, but deep down inside, he was sick of it too. He didn’t like Amanda’s behaviour and he hated having to hide his feeling for you. He wanted to spend every night with you without guilt or having to worry about getting caught, especially after a long day of filming.

‘You aren’t taking me seriously Cilly’ you pouted again and, just after you did, Cillian pressed his lips back onto yours.

Just as you were sharing another passionate kiss, you heard a knock on the trailer door.

‘Cillian, it’s Amanda. Would you like to grab some lunch?’ she asked, causing you to roll your eyes once again with his lips still on yours.

Cillian pulled away and laughed quietly for a moment before he shouted out ‘Sorry Amanda, I can’t. Y/N and I are rehearsing the next scene’ Cillian said loudly but yet politely.

‘We are?’ you asked, causing Cillian to laugh and nod at the same time.

Amanda left shortly thereafter and, just as she did, you placed your thumb over Cillian’s lips suggestively.

‘Alright, so, let’s rehearse’ you whispered and pulled him even closer towards you. In response, with one swift movement, he sat you up on the trailer’s kitchen bench.

‘You do realise this next scene is between Tommy and Lizzie though, right?’ you smiled.

‘I don’t think Amanda realises’ Cillian chuckled before running both of his hands over your legs.

‘Well, you can think about me later during your takes with Natasha’ you giggled as you ran your hand over his crotch and began unbuckling his belt as he positioned himself in between your legs.

‘What are you doing?’ Cillian asked as you finally reached the zipper of his suit pants. You wouldn’t admit it, but you liked it when he was dressed as Thomas Shelby, in the whole and entire outfit.

‘Claiming what is mine Mr Shelby’ you whispered with a slight giggle, causing Cillian to chuckle.

‘The crew is outside’ Cillian said, trying to push your hand away from his already erect cock.

‘Then we'll have to be quiet, won't we’ you responded before freeing his member slowly.

Cillian lost his composure at that point. As usual, when you showed Cillian your desire for him, he was completely under your control, ready to give you whatever you wanted.

He let out a deep sigh as you began stroking his cock for a moment before jumping down from the counter bench again and bending forward to take him in your mouth.

In response to your wet lips touching his hard cock, Cillian took in another sharp breath. It was hard for him to resist you, almost impossible.

You swirled your tongue over the top half of his hard member before taking him all in right against the back of your throat, testing your gag reflex each time.

‘Fuck’ Cillian moaned as he gave into the sensation and you began to bob your head up and down his long shaft.

You continued that for five minutes and by the you were gushing with wetness and couldn't wait any longer, you needed him inside you.

You broke away from his swollen cock and stood up before turning around leaning forward over the counter, facing the door of trailer.

Without words, Cillian positioned himself behind you and lifted up your skirt gently before pushing down your panties in a haste.

He couldn't stop you from getting what you wanted and he was certainly willing to give it to you now that he was all worked up.

Within seconds, he lined himself up with your wet entrance and pushed forward.

‘Mmm, god damn’ you whispered in blissful joy as he instantly hit your sweet spot. He always felt so good when he entered you, stretching and filling you the way he did.

‘Shhhhhh’ Cillian whispered as he began to move in and out of you slowly.

You adjusted yourself around Cillian’s cock and grounded into him, pushing back against him. You wanted him to take you hard, claim you. He grunted his approval as you started bouncing backwards and, as he pushed forwards with several heavy thrusts, you felt like he was hitting you in the throat with each thrust into your centre.

Cillian held your hips, urging you to bounce harder each time and you almost felt him pushing you into the counter with each thrust.

You knew this had to end quickly and, unlike other times where you would try and draw out your high for as long as possible, you let go as he slammed into you over and over again.

All hell broke loose in your body when Cillian reached between your legs to rub his fingers over your clit at the same time he thrusted into you. Stars shot through your vision and you thought you might pass out from the pleasure. You felt Cillian spasm inside you and a flood of his wet cum started leaking from your core.

Your orgasms washed over you in sync and so were you uncontrolled moans as, all of a sudden, the door to Cillian’s trailer opened.

‘Fuck’ Cillian shouted all of a sudden as he pulled out of you and quickly pulled up his pants.

Luckily, anything other than your upper bodies was covered by the counter front of the kitchenette. Nonetheless, it was obvious to anyone what you were doing as Cillian was leaning over you and his face rested on your neck before the door opened suddenly.

You wanted to sink to the ground with embarrassment right then and there as you saw Finn’s face, flushed and full of questions.

‘Amanda organised some sandwiches for you, saying you were busy rehearsing’ Finn said after he cleared his throat with a slight chuckle.

‘It’s not what it looks like’ you said with an equally flushed face.

‘Sure’ Finn said somewhat angrily as he placed the sandwiches onto the kitchen counter and walked out.

‘This…is bad’ Cillian said to you as Finn left and you nodded with agreement. You knew it was bad and unprofessional.

You pulled up your panties quickly and asked Cillian what he wanted to do now that Finn knew.

‘I will talk to him’ Cillian said just before he followed Finn, not knowing exactly what he would tell him just yet.

It took Cillian several minutes to catch up with Finn who, by that point, was furious about what he saw. Cillian knew that Finn was interested in you and Finn had asked Cillian for help several times, wanting to convince you to go on a date with him, to give him a chance.

‘Can we talk?’ Cillian asked as he finally found Finn down at the docks, preparing for his next scene.

‘So, you can find out who else I might be interested in and take your chances?’ Finn asked angrily as he put down his script.

‘Listen, I know it looks bad but I couldn’t tell anyone about it. I am sure you realise why’ Cillian said, causing Finn to nod.

‘Out of all women here you had to get involved with the one woman I am interested in’ Finn said, still annoyed about Cillian’s actions.

‘It was Y/N who pursued me and didn’t exactly plan for this to happen, falling for a woman half my age. It just happened’ Cillian said as he sat down next to Finn.

‘How long?’ Finn asked curiously.

‘Eight weeks. We’ve been keeping it quiet’ Cillian explained, causing Finn to nod.

‘Right. I feel like an idiot now’ Finn responded.

‘I think it should be me who feels like the idiot’ Cillian responded just as Anthony arrived, getting the area ready for the next scene.

‘Anything wrong?’ Anthony asked, causing Cillian to look at Finn with questions running through his mind.

Finn shook his head before telling Cillian politely that he needed to get ready for his next scene with Paul.

Cillian nodded and thanked Finn for his time before making his way back to you.

‘What did he say?’ you asked, desperately wanting to know where this would leave you and Cillian after the recent encounter.

‘Not much really, but I think we need to make our relationship public’ Cillian sighed.

‘Is he going to tell anyone?’ you asked worried.

‘That he caught us having sex in my trailer? Probably not’ Cillian laughed. ‘But, I think that we should still come clean’ Cillian suggested and you nodded in agreement and it was that same evening, over dinner, that you announced your relationship to the crew and the cast.

To your surprise, it wasn’t a surprise at all to some of your friends and cast members that you were a couple. In fact, Anthony had hatched a bet with one of the other crew members who didn’t believe the rumours.

He won $50 pounds and your best friend was glad to know that she would get the apartment you shared to herself for the next few months until filming wrapped up since, no doubt, you preferred spending your nights with Cillian from now on.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x Reader #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder smut

[strawberry--bride]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Haunted Dark Bridal ー Sharon’s Route [PROLOGUE]

Monologue

The most painful thing in this world,

is losing your home. Your place-to-be.

No matter how dire the situation,

if you are surrounded by people who love and care for you.

No obstacle is invincible. 

Then ーー Where do I belong?

Having long lost the place I once considered home.

I spent many years in a place which would provide for me. 

I had food, a roof above my head, a warm bed to sleep in at night.

But could I truly call this my home? 

Those doubts would lurk in the back of my mind, keeping me up at night.

Until one day, I was made a special offer. 

If I complied, I would be given the thing my heart longs for the most.

ーー A new home.

Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Outside

Sharon: This is the place, right...?

( Woah...Amazing. I’ve never seen a house quite this big. They even have a garden! )

*Knock knock*

Sharon: Excuse meー! My name’s Sharon. I’m supposed to move in here today! 

...

...

( No response...? How strange. They should have been informed through the Church. )

*Knock knock*

Sharon: Hello...? Anybody home...!?

Sharon: ( What to do...? There doesn’t seem to be anyone home right now. It’s already getting dark. I can’t just stand here all night either. )

*Creaaaaak*

Sharon: ...Huh? Did the...door just open by itself?

( Does that mean I can go inside? I feel a little hesitant just entering someone else’s home butーー I was told I could live here so it should be fine, right? )

She enters the manor.

 Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Entrance Hall

Sharon: Just as I thought, the inside is equally spacious. I can’t imagine just one person living in such a large house all by themselves. Cleaning must take quite some time as well.

She puts down her suitcase.

*Thud*

Sharon: Phew...

( ...It’s so quiet. Almost as if the house is deserted. I wonder if the owner is out at the moment? In that case, I should probably wait in the living room. )

Sharon looks around.

Sharon: I guess it’s...that way?

*Rustle*

Sharon: ...!!

( I...Did I just...step on something? It felt...strangely soft and... )

???: ーー Oi.

Sharon: ...Kyah!

Sharon: ( A person...!? Oh my gosh. I just arrived here and the first thing I do is step on someone! )

???: ...

Sharon: I’m terribly sorry! I didn’t think there would be someone lying on the floor and...!

( ...Speaking of which, what were they doing down there anyway!? ...Sleeping? No way, right? When you have a house this large, you definitely don’t need to use the floor as a bed... )

???: Haah...

Sharon: Oh no! Are you feeling ill, perhaps? In that case, I shall call a doctor right away!

???: ...You’re loud. How am I supposed to enjoy my Rachmaninov when you’re screaming the place down? 

Sharon: Rach...mani...? ...E-Either way, if you’re not feeling sick, then what were you doing on the floor?

???: Wasting his time away listening to music rather than making himself useful, per usual, I would assume. Well, I suppose it is best not to have any expectations of this man in the first place, as he will only let you down in the end.

Sharon: ...!? 

( A voice...? Out of nowhere...!? )

Sharon: ...Wah!!

( Where did he come from...? )

???: Now, who might you be?

Sharon: Ah...I’m sorry! My name’s Sharon. I’m an orphan at the Catholic orphanage downtown. I was told by our related Church that the resident of this manor has been so kind to take me in. Are you...perhaps the owner?

???: ...I see. It seems you are the next...sacrifice.

Sharon: Excuse me?

???: Nothing. I was simply talking to myself. ...Ahem. My name is Sakamaki Reiji. The second eldest son of this family and one of the residents here. ...The man you had the ‘honor’ of meeting earlier is Shuu. While you may not suspect so given his deplorable behavior, he is - quite unfortunately - my elder brother.

Sharon: Reiji-san...and Shuu-san, was it? It’s a pleasure meeting you both!

Shuu: ...

Reiji: I assume that is your luggage over there? A room has been prepared for you. We will have one of our servants bring everything upstairs.

Sharon: Thank you very much!

( Thank god...So there wasn’t any mistake after all. )

Sharon: Oh! Right! I actually brought a little gift with me! They’re homemade muffins I made this morーー

*CRASH*

Sharon: ーー ning...!?

Startled by the loud noise, she drops the box with muffins.

*Thud*

???: YOU FUCKIN’ BASTARD!! I swear once I get my hands on youーー! 

???: Ahaha! I can’t believe you actually fell for that one! Lame-o!

Reiji: ...

Shuu: Haah...

Sharon: ( H-Hold on, hold on, hold on! Eh? Eeeeh!? I’m not dreaming, right!? That person just punched a hole through the wall!? )

Reiji: Ahem. ...Allow me to introduce. The one who destroyed the wall is the youngest son, Sakamaki Subaru. Next to him is Sakamaki Ayato, the eldest of the triplets. 

ーー You two, explain this situation at once!

Ayato: ...Che. Reiji. I didn’t do anythin’! Not my fault that Subaru ate those prank chocolates I left out on the kitchen counter.

Subaru: Fuck off! You definitely did that on purpose! ...I can still feel my mouth burnin’...!!

Sharon: ( ...Prank chocolates? I guess he means those filled with mustard and other spicy condiments, right? I didn’t know people actually bought those. )

Ayato: Of course! I was hopin’ to catch Kanato. Can you imagine what kinda face he would make when poppin’ one of those bad boys in his mouth?

???: ...Say, did you hear that, Teddy? ...I hope Ayato sleeps with one eye open tonight. He might just run into...unfortunate accident.

Sharon: ...Eh!?

( Another person just appeared out of thin air!? )

Ayato: Keh. The lunatic’s here.

Reiji: Sakamaki Kanato, the middle triplet. 

...Kanato, If you wish to commit a homicide, please do so outside of the walls of this manor. It takes forever to remove blood stains from the carpet.

Kanato: I don’t recall having to take orders from you.

ーー However, you’re lucky as I happen to be in a good mood right now. I believe I heard someone mention muffins? 

Sharon: ...Ah, yes! I made these myse...Huh? ...Oh.

Shuu: It’s not blood, but I think the carpet will need some cleaning regardless.

Reiji: Good grief...

Sharon: Oh no...! The box must have slipped from my fingertips when I heard the sudden crash and...

Ayato: Ah-ahー Look what you did, Subaru. It’s always the youngest child causin’ trouble.

Subaru: HAAH!? All of this started ‘cause you left those stupid chocolates out!

Sharon: ...They turned out really good too. What a shame.

Subaru: ...!! ...O-Oi...You...Um...My bad.

Kanato: ...Unforgivable. 

Sharon: Eh?

Kanato: ...HOW WILL YOU MAKE THIS UP TO ME!?

Sharon: ( W-Why is he getting upset at me all of a sudden!? It was obviously just an accident!? )

Um...I’m not sure...I could make some new ones later?

???: There, there, Kanato-kun~ Relax! Even if the muffins were wasted, there’s a delicious snack just waiting to be devoured...

*Rustle*

Sharon: ...!

( Someone wrapped their arms around me from behind!? )

???: ...Right here~ ...Nfu~

Sharon: ...Eh!?

( I-Is he talking about me!? )

Reiji: ...And finally, the youngest triplet, Sakamaki Laito. 

Ayato: Oi, Laito! No way you’re gettin’ the first taste again! I still haven’t forgotten last time!

Laito: Eeeh~? It’s not my fault you’re so slow, Ayato-kun~ However, if you’re so insistent on taking a bite out of her, I wouldn’t mind sharing, you know? I’m sure it’d make for a refreshing and thrilling experience~

Ayato: Geh! In your dreams, you perv!

Sharon: ( Taste? Bite...? Why are they talking as if I’m their food!? )

Excusーー

Shuu: ...Strawberries.

Sharon: Eh?

Kanato: What are you talking about? I don’t see any strawberries around.

Reiji: Shuu. Explain yourself.

Shuu: Your panties. They had strawberries on them.

Sharon: ...!!

( When did he...!? Ah! When I stepped on him...! )

Ayato: Pfftー!! Strawberries! How old are you, five? That’s hella lame!

Laito: Hm...~ Strawberries are not bad but with such a lovely body, I’m sure you could pull off something a little more erotic~

Subaru: ...

Laito: Oh, my bad~ I forgot baby bro was in the room. I suppose talking about a woman’s underwear is still a little too much for him to handle.

Subaru: S-Shut up...!!

Reiji: ...Enough! No more on this topic! ...Haah. Is it really that much to ask for you lot to behave? Just for one day?

Ayato: ーー Anyway, Reiji. Who’s this chick anyway? Tonight’s dinner?

Sharon: D-Dinner...!? I’m sorry but...Why are you all talking as if I’m food or something!?

Ayato: Shut it! Nobody asked for your opinion, Ichigo Pantsu.

Sharon: I-Ichigo paーー!? I have a name...! ...It’s Sharon.

Ayato: Yeah, yeah. I-chi-go Pa-n-tsu.

Laito: Hm~ This Bitch-chan does smell sweet just like strawberries. Perhaps I should call you ‘Ichigo-chan’ instead~?

Kanato: She really does. I’m sure her blood would taste just as sweet...Oh? What’s that, Teddy? You’d like to have a taste? Fufu...Good idea. I was just feeling a little peckish myself.

Reiji: Haah...I shall be in my study room. ...Ayato, Kanato, Laito. Please treat our new resident with some respect. It would be a shame to lose another one so soon.

Sharon: ...Wait, please! I’m afraid I don’t quite grasp the situation yet!

Reiji: Haah...Good grief. You must not be very smart, are you? Did you truly believe you would be allowed to stay here for free?

Sharon: ...Eh?

Laito: Nfu~ He’s right, Ichigo-chan. Everything in this world comes at a price. In your case...That would be the delicious blood pumping through your veins...

Sharon: M-My blood...? 

Ayato: Heh. You seriously haven’t realized?

Kanato: Teddy...Humans are truly so foolish, aren’t they?

Subaru: Che...Stop beatin’ ‘round the bush already and just tell her.

Shuu: We are Vampires. So the only thing a human such as yourself would have to offer, is your blood.

Reiji: In return, you will be allowed to stay here in this manor. Food, clothes and all other daily necessities willl be provided as well.

Sharon: Vam...pires? That must be some sort of joke, right? It was the Church who arranged this place for me! They would neverーー! 

Besides...Vampires only exist in fairytales!

Reiji: Good grief. This is why I simply cannot deal with humans. Not only are they incredibly foolish, they are horribly naive and trusting as well.

Subaru: In other words, you were set up. Just deal with it.

Sharon: ...

( No way, right...? This has to be some sort of mistake? Or a bad dream...? )

Shuu: Pwaah...Anyway, you guys do as you please. I’m going to my room to nap.

Subaru: I’m leaving too.

Reiji: Well then, if you’d excuse me now.

The three of them leave.

Sharon: ...

Laito: Oh dear~? Is that despair I see in your eyes? You poor little thing! Don’t worry, Laito-kun wil make sure to comfort you. After all, there is no better cure for betrayal than pleasure.

Ayato: Don’t be so down, Ichigo Pantsu! It’s not that bad of a deal! You get to offer your blood to Yours Truly after all!

Kanato: Fufu...I’m sure we’ll get along just fine. If you’re lucky, you might even make it into my precious collection one day~

Sharon: ...!!

She suddenly pushes them away.

*THUD*

Ayato: ...Woah!?

Laito: ...Aah~ Not bad, Ichigo-chan! I like myself a feisty girl at times!

Kanato: Ugh! ...What are you doing!? I nearly dropped Teddy just now.

Sharon: ...

She runs upstairs.

Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Hallway

Sharon: Haah, haah, haah...

( Say, God...? )

( Is this my penalty...? )

( Are you punishing me for my crimes of the past...? )

Monologue

I just kept on running and running.

As said question repeated itself inside my head.

That must be it.

Those guys were exactly right. 

Humans are foolish. I was foolish. 

Foolish to believe I would be given a new home.

After all, people like me.

ーー They don’t deserve a happy ending.

ーー PROLOGUE: END ーー

[ Dark Prologue ] ->

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers oc #sharon's route #(( aaaah it's starting !! )) #(( feedback is welcome and encouraged <33 )) #(( this general prologue focuses on her arrival at the S manor and her first meeting with the boys )) #(( dark prologue will touch upon her backstory a little and her first time attending the academy )) #(( then the other dark scenarios will develop her relationship with all 6 brothers through different scenarios )) #(( if there's a specific idea you have for a fun scenario idea )) #(( please let me know!! ))

[emilia3546]

The Rest of Our Lives - Nessian

Happy #nessianmonth guys! Thanks @illyrianet for organising!

Here we go with the first one: nessian’s mating ceremony, finally filling the gap that Sarah left us with at the end of ACOSF. 

*****

The temple was absolutely beautiful, Rhys really had come through on this one, this was sure to be the most extravagant party Nesta had ever been to, and that was saying something. She glanced around, checking that everything was ready, nothing could go wrong, everything was perfect, all she needed now was to calm her nerves and get on with it.

"Nesta?" Nesta whirled at the sound of Feyre's voice behind her, "Do you want a hand getting dressed?" Right, because she was supposed to already be dressed, had told Emerie that she was, even while she'd just been staring at the dress, nerves racing through her. She nodded,

"Thank you,"

"Come on," Feyre squeezed her hand gently, "Let the guys finish off here, everything's perfect, okay?"

"Okay," Nesta squeezed her eyes shut when Feyre winnowed them back to the River House, to the room she'd slept in last night, "I don't get the tradition of not being allowed to see him before the ceremony," she muttered,

"Honestly, me neither, but we don't want one of you to chicken out and you guys to end up mating beforehand, then to go to the ceremony with you both riled up with a new mating bond," Feyre chuckled, "Rhys was bad enough, but I dread to think what you two will be like,"

"Oh hush," Nesta muttered, "We're not that violent,"

"Not usually, but you never know," Feyre teased, "Dress, c'mon," Nesta nodded, turning her gaze back to the dress waiting for her, she gingerly took it from its stand, stepping behind the curtain to slip it on, but stepped back out to let Feyre help her with the clasps and ties at the back. She almost didn't want to look at the mirror, if she did, her nerves would catch up to her again, but Feyre offered a little encouraging smile,

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Nesta laughed, "I don't even know why,"

"You look stunning," Feyre breathed, "And that feeling's normal, I think," her sister was right, no matter what anyone could say, Nesta was beautiful, with the fitted bodice rising just above her breasts, cinched in the back to accentuate her figure, whorls of silver thread forming Illyrian runes across the bodice. Runes for luck, prosperity, love, Cassian might not be much of an artist, but she knew full well that he'd helped Feyre designing the dress, especially with the occasional rune for witchcraft, or more violent things having slipped past her sister's notice,

"You can't read Illyrian, can you?"

"No, Rhys has tried to teach me, but his particular style of teaching doesn't work so well with the runes, I know some, but not many, did I get one wrong?"

"No," Nesta laughed, "I'd just be surprised that you'd let Cass call me a witch on my wedding dress," Feyre flushed bright red,

"He what?"

"This one, it means witch,"

"It does not, he said that it meant loyalty," Nesta stifled another laugh,

"He lied, aww you believed him, he definitely lied to you about a few of these runes then, you should know better than to take his word at face value,"

"I did check with Azriel,"

"Oh he was probably in on it, knowing them, the idiots," she chuckled again, spinning around in front of the mirror, "I love it, and I would never have suggested he help if I didn't want something a bit less formal, it's not like anyone will be able to read the runes, it's just for us,"

"Right, sit," Nesta just about managed to lift the skirts of her gown before Feyre tugged her across to the chair waiting for her, mountains of cosmetics beside it, "I asked Elain what she thought would work, then Mor, and they're both wrong,"

"Is that so?"

"Mhhm," Feyre was hardly listening as she dusted something along Nesta's cheekbones, the tang of magic filling the air, "I'm just setting it in place, not even Cass can fuck this up later," Nesta snorted at that, but Feyre held her head still, "Stop it, you're going to make me mess up," she hissed just as the door opened,

"You told me you were already dressed!"

"I lied,"

"Shush, I can't do this if you keep moving," Nesta did fall silent, but held Emerie's disapproving gaze while Feyre finished, twisting her hair up onto her head in a knot of intricate braids, setting gemstones through it, Nesta had no words when Feyre span the chair around for Nesta to see her handiwork, those jewels caught the light, making her hair shine and glimmer as she moved. She almost couldn't believe the person who was staring back at her, she'd changed so much over the last year, the person staring back at her was beautiful, confident, tears formed in her eyes, "Nesta,"

"I'm okay, I just, it feels like some stupid dream and I'll wake up any minute back in that apartment," Feyre threw an arm around her shoulders,

"It's real, I promise it's real, enjoy it, Nesta, you've earned it," she glanced back at the female in the mirror, the way her eyes sparkled with life, her cheeks glowing with health, especially with the rouge that Feyre had dusted onto them. Feyre had painted her lips red, an almost sinful color, and she blushed at the thought of exactly what Cassian would be thinking when he saw her,

"There we go," Emerie laughed, "Dirty mind, she's fine,"

"Oh shush," Nesta laughed, but didn't deny it, "You're just as bad as I am,"

"While that may be true, I'm not the one about to get married." Married. She was about to get married, shit. She didn't know what she was doing. What if she tripped? What if she forgot her vows? What if she panicked and froze up? What if she embarrassed herself, embarrassed Cassian? "Deep breath," this time it was Emerie, "Still your mind," she did, closing her eyes, deep breath, deep breath, she was the rock against which the surf crashes, she was a Valkyrie, and she could not be broken, not by the Blood Rite, not by marriage. "Drink this," Emerie handed her a foul-smelling tonic of some sort,

"What is it?"

"Just an anti-sickness tonic, for your nerves, but you'll fine once you get there," Nesta wasn't so sure of that and downed it in one, the effect almost instant,

"Are you drugging her, Em?" Nesta almost spat it out at the sound of another voice, "Everything's ready, you look beautiful, Nesta," Azriel smiled as he spoke, "Cass won't know what's hit him,"

"Thank you," Nesta ran through the ceremony again in her mind, automatically finding everything that could go wrong, "Em, I'm gonna fuck up,"

"No you're not,"

"Easy for you to say, you've never done this,"

"I have," Feyre said, squeezing Nesta's shoulder, and Nesta almost winced at the memory that she hadn't bee there when Feyre and Rhys had had a proper ceremony, being too lost to her fears to care or even notice, "You'll be fine, Nesta," It's okay that you weren't there, you're her with us now, Nesta started at Feyre's voice in her mind, and she nodded, still not quite believing her, but if Feyre forgave her, she could start to forgive herself for everything she'd missed this last year. "Just ignore everyone, focus on Cass, okay?"

"Okay,"

"Step-by-step, walk up to him, let him say his vows, say your vows, exchange rings, food, kiss him, and walk back, you can do that,"

"Yeah, yeah I can do that, thank you, I'll be fine," she shot a grateful glance at Azriel as he offered her an arm, but she still squeezed her eyes shut when he winnowed them back to the temple, just outside the door,

"Ready?" Nesta took in one last breath and squeezed Azriel's arm,

"Yeah, and thank you,"

"For what?"

"This. Walking me down the aisle," she refused to allow herself to tear up at the thought that her father should be the one doing that,

"I'm honestly honored that you asked me,"

"There would be no-one else I would want to," she mumbled,

"Oh, so I'm the last resort, I see," Nesta chuckled when he finally stepped forwards, and was still laughing when they crossed into the temple. Everyone was there, everyone was watching her, but she remembered Feyre's words, gripping Azriel's arm tighter as she lifted her gaze to the end of the aisle, to Cassian. The moment she locked eyes with him, Nesta forgot to be scared, forgot that she was nervous, excitement taking over, and she lessened the vice-like grip on Azriel's arm, earning a soft chuckle. Each step took her closer to that dais, to Cassian. Each step took her closer to the first day of the rest of her life. Each step brought her closer to finally stepping out of the shadow of the war. Each step brought her closer to her mate.

At the top of the dais Azriel released her arm, and Nesta almost swayed on her feet, a sort of dizzy feeling washing over her at the prospect of saying the proper words, words that she had been waiting for longer than she'd care to admit to say. She clasped Cassian's hands in her own, holding on tight, reassuring herself that this was all real, that he was real. She hardly noticed the movement beside her until Rhys spoke,

"Nesta, do you come to this place of your own free will, with love in your heart to wed this male?"

"Yes," she breathed, "I do," she was still staring at Cassian and hardly registered the same question being asked of him, until he gently squeezed her fingers and started to speak,

"I, Cassian, swear to love, to cherish, and to protect you, when you actually need it," he added with a smirk, and Nesta had to hold back a fit of giggles, "I swear to love you through the best and worst the world can throw at us." With the official words said, he continued to add his own, "I never knew what was coming that day I first met you, Nes, when we arrived to ask for help, and I didn't find just a human woman, but an Illyrian without her wings, honestly I think I started falling right then, and kept falling with everything since. It didn't take long for me to figure out what you were to me, but long before that, I'd already decided that I wanted you, just you, mate or not, and I cannot thank the Cauldron enough that it saw fit to bless us with that bond." Nesta blinked tears out of her eyes, losing track of the murmurs around them, "You, Nesta, are everything I could have possibly dreamed of, and more besides, your courage, your strength, I don't know what I would have done without you at this point, I knew full well that I loved you when you refused to back down, when you made sure to protect your family from anything you thought was a threat, even me," Nesta let out a little chuckle at that,

"You didn't exactly correct me," she laughed,

"I'm not finished, Nes, it's your turn in a minute," she snorted, but allowed him to finish, "I have loved you through everything, but I never once believed that you could return that love and I promise, Nesta, that I will continue to love you until my last breath and beyond." Nesta couldn't stop the tears now flooding down her face, and thanked the Mother for Feyre's shield to protect her make-up from ruination. When he finished, she took a few breaths before beginning her own vows,

"I, Nesta Archeron, swear to love, to cherish, and protect you, because gods know you do need it." Nesta grinned at the mutterings among the few Illyrians chosen to represent their people at her changed vows, never 'obey', not for them, never for them, protect, yes, but never obey. "I swear to love you though the best and worst the world can throw at us." She grinned again when Cassian laughed, "I knew I loved you when I feared I might lose you, and I was so scared that you wouldn't want my love, that I didn't deserve yours, but thank the Cauldron that you reached me, I really don't know what I would have done this past year without you, and I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. I promise to love you until my last breath and beyond, until this world is nothing but a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, until whatever end, I will love you."

Nesta's vision was still blurred as Emerie stepped to her side, handing her a ring, its partner in Cassian's hand as Azriel stepped back. She let her tears fall as Cassian slipped the ring onto her finger, a beautiful red stone capturing the light, surrounded by seven smaller silver ones, the reverse true of the one she placed on Cassian's finger.

"The red stone is hewn form my siphons," he murmured, "So that I'll always be by your side, I had them made specially," Nesta had no words as she held his gaze,

"Now, Lord and Lady Archeron, I declare you husband and wife now-" Nesta couldn't wait any longer, surging towards Cassian and showing him how she felt in the only way she really knew how. Rhys sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Do that, I guess,"

"Sorry, Rhys," Cassian chuckled when he stepped back, keeping a hold of Nesta's right hand as they both turned to face Rhys, taking the twin biscuits offered by Feyre and Elain. Nesta had insisted on the biscuits, just for the look on Cassian's face when he realized what she'd made,

"Witch," he muttered,

"Brute," she responded, breaking off a bit of the biscuit to feed him, hoping desperately that it tasted alright, but relaxed when he fed her piece of the other one, it was okay, nothing like Elain's cooking, but it was hers, she'd made it, for him. Cassian held her gaze as Rhys cleared his throat, the black ribbon in his hands the final piece they needed, the last thing before they could be declared officially mated.

Nesta wasn't sure that her heart was beating as he tied it around their joined hands, grinning, even when he met Nesta's eyes. Her brother, that was what he was, even more now, and she smiled at him as Cassian swept her into his arms to carry her back down the aisle,

"I can walk," she laughed,

"I know, I want to carry you," he laughed,

"Oh really, husband,"

"Yes, wife, I wouldn't want you trip, it's bad luck you know," Nesta laughed again as Cassian stepped outside, the first day of the rest of their lives, that's exactly what this was, and she wasn't scared anymore.

#fanfic #fanfiction #acotar #acosf #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #nesta #nesta archeron #nessian #nesta x cassian #cassian #wedding #nessianmonth #nessian month

[edenmemes]

the witcher 3: wild hunt starters

including quotes from the dlcs hearts of stone & blood and wine

❝  you were always an unruly child. i adored that about you.  ❞ ❝  mmm. yes. of course. the excuse you resort to when you’d rather not talk about something.  ❞ ❝  how many have you killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  you know who i am. and why i’m here.  ❞ ❝  you're a madman and always have been. a cruel, cold-blooded killer.  ❞ ❝  a man should frame his wishes carefully. it forestalls disappointment.  ❞ ❝  no argument. you knew what you were signing up for.  ❞ ❝  maybe once, in a different time...i’d have helped.  ❞ ❝  don’t train alone, it only embeds your errors.  ❞ ❝  wanna get drunk off my ass. and it’s gotta be on cheap wine.  ❞ ❝  you’re a heartless bastard.  ❞ ❝  try to trick me anyway, anyhow, you won’t go anywhere, you know that. ‘cause i’ll take your head off right where it meets your neck.  ❞ ❝  sorry. i don’t want to talk about it. not now, at least.  ❞ ❝  we are more like a family.   we support each other and help each other survive tough moments.  ❞ ❝  so how’s it feel to be the village witch?  ❞ ❝  realize, please, that you were made for great things.  ❞ ❝  folks say a curse has fallen on that place, a dark power brought down by the bestiality of the murders it beheld.  ❞ ❝  so, now you’ve threatened me and all...are you in or are you not?  ❞ ❝  i know it must sound foolish, but in the dream - well, it was all too real...  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  it’s always been about you. only you.  ❞ ❝  i remember finding your sense of humor both groan-worthy...and somehow endearing.  ❞ ❝  kings die, realms fall, but magic endures.  ❞ ❝  i detest banquets. vacuous conversation, food portions fit for a mouse, drinks that taste like piss...  ❞ ❝  despite what you’ve heard, i don’t lunge at every monster i see, sword in hand.  ❞ ❝  each day’s more dangerous than the last.  ❞ ❝  it’s folks like you that restore my faith in humankind.  ❞ ❝  my power lies in possessing knowledge, not sharing it.  ❞ ❝  the rotten smell brings back childhood memories.  ❞ ❝  awfully noble of you, showing so much concern for the needy.  ❞ ❝  no need to thank me. always glad to save your ass. you’re welcome.  ❞ ❝  i may be inhumanely beautiful, but i don’t have super human senses.  ❞ ❝  anyone can be made to talk, even a corpse. one must simply know how.  ❞ ❝  we’ve done the hardest part. only got the pleasant bits now.  ❞ ❝  there are few causes worth saving. even fewer men.  ❞ ❝  don’t treat me like a child.  ❞ ❝  there’s strange men lurking outside the house. watching me.  ❞ ❝  you must be careful what you wish for lest your wish be granted.    for there are consequences.  ❞ ❝  shall i be free of the suffering? the sadness?  ❞ ❝  i wish to gaze into those eyes, eyes the devil would be proud to have.  ❞ ❝  you were born with a great gift. and only you can decide how to use it.  ❞ ❝  any other words of wisdom? or can we go?  ❞ ❝  what i need is an ally. and something tells me i shall find none better than you.  ❞ ❝  i can see no row can occur here without your participation.  ❞ ❝  i and what concerns me have not been a concern of yours for some time now.  ❞ ❝  if you’d not arrived in time, things might have ended considerably worse.  ❞ ❝  if they can bleed, they can die.  ❞ ❝  a man must display some madness from time to time --- it helps him feel alive.  ❞ ❝  i was deeply troubled. you’ve no idea.  ❞ ❝  done that so many times, but...it felt like our first kiss to me.  ❞ ❝  don’t need to play tough on me.  ❞ ❝  i've lost too many mates already. i won’t risk it, i can't.  ❞ ❝  there’s just not enough of us. it’ll be a hard fight.  ❞ ❝  in lonely woods, screams carry long.  ❞ ❝  things used to be simpler.    monsters were bad, humans good.   now, everything’s all confused.  ❞ ❝  as for your missteps --- i don't rightly see why i shouldn't laugh if they're amusing..  ❞ ❝  i’ve no gold to offer you in reward...but i shall be ever so grateful.  ❞ ❝  if you’re scared, turn back. i’m gonna go on.  ❞ ❝  if anything happens, i’ll defend you.  ❞ ❝  once you say "i love you," a kiss has to taste differently.  ❞ ❝  maybe we should sit? you look a bit dazed...  ❞ ❝  drink it off, sleep it off, whatever it takes...just get yourself together and think things        through.  ❞ ❝  i shall join later, if it’s no trouble. i don’t yet feel strong enough to venture out.  ❞ ❝  awake at last. you writhed like a squirrel caught in a snare.  ❞ ❝  again you plan without even asking what i think!  ❞ ❝  come to see how i’m feelin'? thanks, not bad.  ❞ ❝  i remember that day quite well...there was a light drizzle, yet the cold tore right through you.  ❞ ❝  you gotta keep your eyes peeled wide open. someone’s taken an interest in your work.  ❞ ❝  oof...for a minute, i actually thought we were doomed.  ❞ ❝  you shouldn’t worry yourself --- it tarnishes your beauty.  ❞ ❝  i’d even embrace you...were you not covered in blood.  ❞ ❝  guess i could’ve been someone worse...just a shame i had no choice.  ❞ ❝  facts interest me. not fairytales.  ❞ ❝  hm, odd smell. blend of alcohol, blood and monster stench.  ❞ ❝  i’m old and i am wealthy. i may say what i please.  ❞ ❝  now, be so kind and leave me to my thoughts.  ❞ ❝  in your shoes i’d pack it up and go hide somewhere far away.  ❞ ❝  forgive me, but that's the blatherin' of someone who clearly can't snap out of it after a tragic loss.  ❞ ❝  that all you gotta say? i saved your life.  ❞ ❝  i swear on all that is holy: we shall be together forever.  ❞ ❝  think of me as part of the decor.  ❞ ❝  anyone who’s bold enough to fight is already a hero.  ❞ ❝  if this is a trap of some sort...  ❞ ❝  you can count on me, you know? always.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how much it means...to have someone you can rely on in this fucking city.  ❞ ❝  i know you. you have no heart.  ❞ ❝  no room for friendship in this business.  ❞ ❝  evil is evil. lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. the degree is arbitrary, the definitions blurred.  ❞ ❝  hands off, or i'll cut them off.  ❞ ❝  i’ll need to clear my head first. after those deranged dreams, i feel it’s full of cobwebs.  ❞ ❝  on your way? or will you stay longer? it’s far safer with you around...  ❞ ❝  really sad story, but something’s not right. got a feeling you’re not telling me everything.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit, there’s something about you. you’re...different.  ❞ ❝  with each arrow i shoot, i think of my dad. he’d be proud, i think.  ❞ ❝  i merely know when to indulge my pride, and when to swallow it.  ❞ ❝  you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  these’re dark, grim times. no room for knights pure of heart or happily-ever-afters.  ❞ ❝  a life without liquor’s like loving without licking.  ❞ ❝  my certainty i walk the right path grows strong as iron, firm as steel.  ❞ ❝  few make me feel awkward, but in your presence, i feel anxiety, discomfort.  ❞ ❝  some men have got good reason to fear their own shadows.  ❞ ❝  some men cannot admit defeat. some keep fighting from beyond the grave.  ❞ ❝  stare into their eyes, feast on their terror. then go in for the kill.  ❞ ❝  forget not that you are a person right and honorable, devoted to doing good.  ❞ ❝  ash shall fertilize the soil. by spring, the valley shall bloom once more.  ❞ ❝  there’s lots of wraiths here. i hear them whispering every night.  ❞ ❝  no one has the courage to face this threat! yet we must kill them, or sooner or later we will all die.  ❞ ❝  you are a step away from losing your head. speak the truth and you might yet keep it.  ❞ ❝  you carry within you the weight of a terrible tragedy. you are a good person, but lost. which is why you come across as grim.  ❞ ❝  if i understand you correctly, you would rather help a monster than kill it?  ❞ ❝  discouraged after a mere eight attempts?  ❞ ❝  easier to pat someone on the back and hope things will work out than it is to face the truth.  ❞ ❝  know that they can’t teach an old dog new tricks?  ❞ ❝  my, you’ve grown beautiful.  ❞ ❝  my swords a promise --- if i reach for it, heads will roll.  ❞ ❝  one condition: no one dies. that clear?  ❞ ❝  patience happens to be my weakness. so dispense with the dramatic pauses and talk.  ❞ ❝  you proved today you can take care of yourself.  ❞ ❝  you under the delusion you’ll complete your tasks, live happily ever after?  ❞ ❝  i will not sit and twiddle my thumbs. i'm sick of waiting, sick of hiding!  ❞ ❝  glad you know who i am. haven’t introduced yourself, though.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen a great deal --- cruelty, cynicism, greed.  ❞ ❝  you tempt fate, because at heart you are unhappy.  ❞ ❝  we had our chance, but...let it go.  ❞ ❝  come now, you didn’t expect it to be that easy, did you?  ❞ ❝  promise me one thing --- you’ll stop risking your life for others.  ❞ ❝  instead of dwelling on the future, i’d rather live in the moment.  ❞ ❝  i adore love stories. especially the ones that end happily ever after.  ❞ ❝  we are drops of rain that together make a ferocious storm.  ❞ ❝  the path to freedom is paved in blood, not ink.  ❞ ❝  we’ll get our happy ending. one day.  ❞ ❝  i’ll never forget what you did for me...and what we had together.  ❞ ❝  don’t meddle in other people’s lives.  ❞ ❝  i don’t get attached to places. just people.  ❞ ❝  it’s dangerous, there are risks involved. understand that, don’t you?  ❞ ❝  and here i hoped someone would finally take pity on me.  ❞ ❝  seen a lot of dead in my time, but that must’ve been hard.  ❞ ❝  air is strange...like dropping into a deep cellar on a hot day...  ❞ ❝  wouldn’t carry a sword if i didn’t know how to use it.  ❞ ❝  take it you didn't summon me to reminisce about the good old days, so...  ❞ ❝  i was attacked --- had to defend myself.  ❞ ❝  guards have never stopped me, you know that.  ❞ ❝  treating the ill and wounded...it’s my calling.  ❞ ❝  you think it’s enchanted?  ❞ ❝  there are times when a woman should simply not explain her decision.  ❞ ❝  won’t find too many comforts, but try to feel at home.  ❞ ❝  i was looking for you...sometimes i thought you were just a step away. other times, i felt like i was going around in circles.  ❞ ❝  i’ll remember you. always with a smile.  ❞ ❝  i’d rather you not make anymore trouble --- for yourself, or us both.  ❞ ❝  got the stench of corpes on you.  ❞ ❝  you stood to gain --- that is why you saved me.  ❞ ❝  sages invariably have hidden agendas. altruism is simply not part of their constitution.  ❞ ❝  the gods have abandoned us. the mighty of this earth care not for our fate.  ❞ ❝  is that admiration i hear in your voice?  ❞ ❝  i started off heading in the opposite direction, but then turned around.  ❞ ❝  i’m fed up. i won’t have others deciding for me behind my back.  ❞ ❝  where’d you get this idea? what’s gotten into you?  ❞ ❝  i don't expect you to commit now. think it over, what you've heard, what you feel.  ❞ ❝  head torn clear off...takes incredible strength.  ❞ ❝  desperate fathers have been known to do a lot to find their daughters.  ❞ ❝  you cannot kill me. you know this...  ❞ ❝  "i give you my heart”? what kind of spell is that?  ❞ ❝  i’d go anywhere with you.  ❞ ❝  why? because i am a woman? in a frock, rather than plate? i can take care of myself, i assure you.  ❞ ❝  everything we discussed here, hope you’ll keep it to yourself. counting on it, in fact.  ❞ ❝  trusted you once. won’t make that mistake again.  ❞ ❝  shut up. i’ve heard enough of your bullshit. draw your weapon, let’s get this over with.  ❞ ❝  exaggerating for effect, right?  ❞ ❝  well, well...when cornered, you can bite.  ❞ ❝  you cannot win...even if you kill me.  ❞ ❝  you know i’m good at accomplishing the impossible.  ❞ ❝  it’s nothing, really. you’d have done the same for me.  ❞ ❝  you are not ready. you do not control your powers.  ❞ ❝  you’re a tool in their hands, even if you don’t see it.  ❞ ❝  i’d do anything for you, i would. you know that well.  ❞ ❝  this is a land where the fantastic is normal, and the impossible occurs daily...  ❞ ❝  know when a legend becomes a prophecy? when it gain believers.  ❞ ❝  i thought you’d become a stranger to me. that i’d look at you and not feel a thing. but it’s not like that at all. nothing’s changed.  ❞ ❝  to be honest, i just wanted to go on a walk with you.  ❞ ❝  what i really want is to be with you, to...to be together and...  ❞ ❝  this is not the kind of offer one refuses.  ❞ ❝  despair devours you like maggots devour a corpse.  ❞ ❝  before long every soul will kneel before you.  ❞ ❝  i run into dilemmas all the time. situations where it's hard to judge, hard to know what's right, make a decision. this is not one of them. you disgust me. and deserve to die.  ❞ ❝  you know me. i’m rare to praise, but when i do, it’s sincere.  ❞ ❝  i'm not a thug for hire.  ❞ ❝  i like being on adventures, sleeping under the stars, waking up with dew on my face.  ❞ ❝  the dream's within reach now. i’m not about to let it go.  ❞ ❝  unlike you, killing gives me no pleasure.  ❞ ❝  can't speak for the world you inhabit, but in mine, nothing is ever black and white.  ❞ ❝  you cannot possibly imagine how much i detest this place.  ❞ ❝  stones you’ve got. but i didn’t think you’d have the stomach for a massacre.  ❞ ❝  the dead man --- looked like a monster attacked him recently.  ❞ ❝  finish all your business before you die. bid loved ones farewell. write your will. apologize to those you’ve wronged. otherwise, you’ll never truly leave this world.  ❞ ❝  i've had nothing but nightmares lately. pretty horrible.  ❞ ❝  i was wandering through the forest, breathing deep the air, and then i heard a strange sound, unsettling.  ❞ ❝  had a few nice dreams. for example, in one we sat around a fire, drinking good wine, and all around people danced and laughed.  ❞ ❝  they’re all dead! mountains of corpses. yet here i stand alone. all alone.  ❞ ❝  this isn’t a game. men have died.  ❞ ❝  if you wanna listen, listen, if not --- i'd rather you spared me your wit and throw me out now.  ❞ ❝  you fed me, cared for me, had my wounds looked after. we're even now.  ❞ ❝  you’ll return, you shall. our fates are bound.  ❞ ❝  i’ve nothing left. not a fucking thing.  ❞ ❝  i don’t question your abilities. i simply don’t trust you.  ❞ ❝  what foolish things men sometimes do.  ❞ ❝  dare harm me, and against you will rise all the powers of nature.  ❞ ❝  did you destroy the evil powers? have you brought peace to my domain?  ❞ ❝  well, perhaps i shall tell you about it one day. one day, but not today..  ❞ ❝  times like these, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  ❞ ❝  you worry too much. what will be, will be.  ❞ ❝  have you gone completely mad? we must leave here at once!  ❞ ❝  time eats away at memories, distorts them. sometimes we only remember the good... sometimes only the bad.  ❞ ❝  you don’t need magic to strip men of their humanity. i’ve seen plenty of examples.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to choose between one evil and another, i’d rather not choose at all.  ❞ ❝  see what i’ve got on my back? wolves fear it. kings do, too.  ❞ ❝  i missed those awkward compliments of yours.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i think it’s all too lovely to be true…that something’s bound to happen, another war or some other horror.  ❞ ❝  took you a while. did you run into trouble?  ❞ ❝  i just travel a lot. and i don't always happen upon such good and civil company.  ❞ ❝  what can you know about saving the world, silly?  ❞ ❝  done my share of fighting. wouldn't carry a sword if i didn't know to use it.  ❞ ❝  all right, perhaps i wasn’t completely honest.  ❞ ❝  ever thought this day would come? me and you...peace and quiet...bees buzzing, birds chirping.  ❞ ❝  i detect a shadow of impatience in your face.  ❞ ❝  took me a long time to find you. wasn't an easy road to travel.  ❞ ❝  wipe that frown off your face, or i might think you don’t like me anymore.  ❞ ❝  always believed attack was the best defense.  ❞ ❝  once it’s all over, if we survive ... i wish to leave, go far away.   and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  naturally, you suspect me of the worst. i don’t deserve that.  ❞ ❝  we can fight another time, in another place, where the walls have no ears.  ❞ ❝  once i was free...i shall be free once more.  ❞ ❝  believe me...a tavern, mulled wine, our boots drying by the fire --- i’d like nothing better.  ❞ ❝  prove it. kiss me.  ❞ ❝  the prophecies do not lie...you cannot survive this struggle.  ❞ ❝  i know you better than you think.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  what’s happened? it’s so quiet, all of a sudden.  ❞ ❝  thank you, for coming with me.  ❞ ❝  i cannot do everything for you. use your head.  ❞ ❝  i'm angry and tired. had to kill a lot of people along the way.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’d be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  i sense your pain. i see your fear.  ❞ ❝  how’s this for an answer: kiss my ass.  ❞ ❝  how many have you already killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  i'm quite alive and extraordinarily well. better than i've ever been in this rotten life of mine.  ❞ ❝  i like it when you smile. come here. everything will be all right.  ❞ ❝  ugh. don’t fall in love with me.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like you. in fact, i feel like slapping you.  ❞ ❝  i'm too old to play the blushing bride...unless you ask nicely.  ❞ ❝  that bit of my life --- forgotten it already.  ❞ ❝  the world doesn’t need a hero. it needs a professional.  ❞ ❝  next time you wonder why i’m so bitter...well, there's your answer.  ❞ ❝  nothing wrong with having a drink in good company.  ❞ ❝  i want you behind those rocks. and keep your mouth shut.  ❞ ❝  nice of you to worry...but i've made my decision, and i won't change it.  ❞ ❝  this is my story, not yours. you must let me finish telling it.  ❞ ❝  after all that toil, i believe we deserve a bit of a rest.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  we’ve all some stain on our conscience.  ❞ ❝  leaving the castle walls means certain death.  ❞ ❝  right good jest. had us a laugh. now fuck off.  ❞ ❝  i’ve heard about you. you bring trouble, or thus far have, always.  ❞ ❝  ah, you’ve struck a raw nerve.    memories of a time long past to which i’d rather not return now.  ❞ ❝  we meet again. and it seems you need my help. again.  ❞ ❝  got a relative i can talk to? someone - how do i say this - a smidgen less irritating?  ❞ ❝  miss the target, you owe me fifty push-ups. hit it, you owe me twenty.  ❞ ❝  oh. serious talk coming.  ❞ ❝  i feel like one more lie'd be the last bitter drop in a chalice full of sorrow.  ❞ ❝  romantic? thought we came here as friends.  ❞ ❝  you’re hiding something. and that’s one thing i can’t stand.  ❞ ❝  tell me, how do you do it? always manage to pull yourself together, focus, no matter what’s happening?  ❞ ❝  i go wherever i please, whenever i please.  ❞ ❝  uh oh. i know that look.  ❞ ❝  sounds tempting. so tempting i don’t think i can refuse.  ❞ ❝  so, what do you say to a moonlight ride on horseback...and dinner?  ❞ ❝  perhaps...perhaps you’d stay just a bit longer?  ❞ ❝  how are you feeling? sleep well?  ❞ ❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...  simply shouldn’t have.  ❞

❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...i simply shouldn’t have --- not during our romantic dinner.  ❞ ❝  got it. a bit of blackmail --- just your style.  ❞ ❝  it’s the crack of dawn. where do you wanna go?  ❞ ❝  shut up before you wake someone. last thing we need is a crowd.  ❞ ❝  watch what you say. the trees have ears.  ❞ ❝  no bow at hand, no spear. my sword was all i had.  ❞ ❝  never expected you’d take such an interest in my private life.  ❞ ❝  i’m special. always was the rare beauty.  ❞ ❝  damn. been ages since we last saw each other.  ❞ ❝  some charming orchards nearby. in bloom, even, so you almost can't smell the corpses.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  man spends his whole life learning.  ❞ ❝  if only i was as skilled with my words as i am with my blade.  ❞ ❝  i wished to know what was going on in that head of yours. i thought perhaps i could help.  ❞ ❝  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ❞ ❝  dangerous times. each thinks five times before sticking their neck out.   and i can’t blame them.  ❞ ❝  now i care not in the slightest how you think or feel.  ❞ ❝  i no longer know if i still hate you.  ❞ ❝  i see how you look at me, and i see you wither.  ❞ ❝  one last bit of advice --- find a new tavern. everyone here knows you.  ❞ ❝  you won. no point bothering with ‘what ifs’.  ❞ ❝  it’s time i took fate into my own hands. lived life anew...and truly, this time.  ❞ ❝  ahh, 'cause you thought you'd killed me that time. surprise, sur-fucking-prise.  ❞ ❝  who...who’s that? gods, i’m hallucinating.  ❞ ❝  it’s no exaggeration to say i’ve never met a warrior like you in my life. you’re lithe as an eel and strong as a bear.  ❞ ❝  i’ve a heart again, yet all it feels is grief, sadness and defeat. my life is a ruin.  ❞ ❝  sought only to protect myself. in doing so, i put you in harm’s way. forgive me.  ❞ ❝  there’s a charming grove nearby where  kisses  taste  sweeter than anywhere else in the world.  ❞ ❝  you’ve handled tougher situations. you’ll figure this one out.  ❞ ❝  who you are and why you’ve come matter little. for you’ll not leave this place alive.  ❞ ❝  i’m not panicking. just trying to be realistic.  ❞ ❝  hahahahaha...i can’t believe you fell for that!  ❞ ❝  i was actually going to recite an anthem praising your glory, but if you’re not in the mood...  ❞ ❝  lying didn’t always come so easily to you.  ❞ ❝  everyone wants to rule. i can do that better than any monarch.  ❞ ❝  tell me what you want already, and make it quick.  ❞ ❝  what a mess we made of it all...if i’d only known then how it would end...  ❞ ❝  seems a faded dream now, but there were a time where i was happy.  ❞ ❝  why’d you leave me? you claimed you loved me.  ❞ ❝  never liked boats. not one bit.  ❞ ❝  you must be mad. i’ve no intention to make things easier for you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t wish to look at your face any longer than i must.  ❞ ❝  please, no. i can’t stand spells.  ❞ ❝  we agreed not to keep any secrets from one another. we promised.  ❞ ❝  that i like! a man who boldly dares, damn the risks!  ❞ ❝  i thought you bowed before no man.  ❞ ❝  smile a bit wider. ...you were meant to smile, not bare your teeth.  ❞ ❝  is that blood? have you hurt yourself?  ❞ ❝  no reason to trouble the guards. i’ll go willingly.  ❞ ❝  look at me. promise you’ll stay out of it.  ❞ ❝  the minute we’re in trouble, you make me responsible for getting us out.  ❞ ❝  they say they don’t fear the wrath of the gods. and you, do you fear it?  ❞ ❝  i’ll let that pass. i know grief eats at your heart.  ❞ ❝  we all lie sometimes. but lying to yourself is running away, whereas there’s really nowhere to run.  ❞ ❝  don’t need your sympathy, just your help.  ❞ ❝  your loss -- it must hurt, bad. but there wasn't anything we could do.  ❞ ❝  i wish to leave, go far away. and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  i trust you have an explanation for this. a very good one.  ❞ ❝  lot of bitterness in you.  ❞ ❝  i assure you, you’re excellent at covering your tracks --- though not terribly subtle. but i’m even better at uncovering them.  ❞ ❝  glad to see you happy...but i don’t think what we did was right.  ❞ ❝  i look at you, and...and feel like i am exactly where i am supposed to be. at long last.  ❞ ❝  i’m no coward. i'll not run this time.  ❞ ❝  yes, i know you’ve trained with swords. but you’re still shit with them.  ❞ ❝  how many innocents have you cut down?  ❞ ❝  problem is, you’re not ordinary. you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  not too late to surrender.  ❞ ❝  men turn honest when they feel a blade at their throat.  ❞ ❝  i'm not gonna drink. why dull my senses when i’m in such pleasant company?  ❞ ❝  it’s bound to come in handy, and each time it does, you’ll think of me.  ❞ ❝  lie still or you will bleed to death.  ❞ ❝  your life is yours, exclusively. you choose who you are.  ❞ ❝  for a minute there, was almost sure you’d leave me to die.  ❞ ❝  there is never a second opportunity to make a first impression.  ❞ ❝  it’s all because of that secretiveness of yours.  ❞ ❝  plead the gods spare us, for without their favor we shall most certainly perish.  ❞ ❝  i must say -- seen a lot, but nothing like this, never.  ❞ ❝  you don’t look like you can get home on your own. i’ll walk you.  ❞ ❝  all’s in the past, never to be restored.  ❞ ❝  you know full well i never hold a grudge. i forgive you.  ❞ ❝  the good gods sent you to me.  ❞ ❝  and the guilt, the responsibility of all this, lies with me.  ❞ ❝  you’ve only been here five minutes, and you’ve already managed to offend me twice.  ❞ ❝  you will certainly fetch me a higher bounty alive.  ❞ ❝  what's wrong with my beard? always thought it added to my dignity.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to die today, i wish to look smashing for the occasion.  ❞ ❝  i was stupid. stupidity costs a lot.  ❞ ❝  even your humblest requests seem like threats.  ❞ ❝  your motives do not interest me. only results.  ❞ ❝  and you laughed, oh, how sweetly, how brightly you laughed!  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how it is. to see someone you love die. because of you, for you.  ❞ ❝  to have a scapegoat --- that’s the key.  ❞ ❝  no need to fear me.  ❞ ❝  sorry, but -- your life story? just not interested.  ❞ ❝  with you...it was love at first sight.  ❞ ❝  gotta understand. you don’t betray people like me.  ❞ ❝  i struggled long to find a place where i’d feel safe, needed. until i finally arrived here.  ❞ ❝  just don’t faint on me.  ❞ ❝  could never be there for you everyday. but i’m happy to see you always. and today, i’m all yours.  ❞ ❝  what others think...your image...that’s all you care about.  ❞ ❝  in these foul times one must be wary, even of their friends.  ❞ ❝  come on, don’t get angry - it’s not good for you..  ❞ ❝  so, apart from the sword play, you know potions and all that?  ❞ ❝  i actually envy your sense of wonder --- common in children, and morons.  ❞ ❝  a lot of misfortune for a small village.  ❞ ❝  who are you? do you seek to hurt me as well?  ❞ ❝  the hand that feeds can also strike its wayward wards.  ❞ ❝  shh. eat now. we’ll speak once you’ve rested.  ❞ ❝  brother has turned against brother, the land is soaked in blood. evil reigns stronger than ever before.  ❞ ❝  good looking and clever. where’ve you been hiding?  ❞ ❝  doesn’t bother you, having monsters for neighbours?  ❞ ❝  stay here --- no matter what happens.  ❞ ❝  i never told you this, but i’ve always felt it: i love you.  ❞ ❝  listen to me this once -- don't take matters into your own hands.  ❞ ❝  love these moments. the air before a battle -- nothing smells as sweet.  ❞ ❝  they tried to get in through the main gate. i’m afraid they could succeed next time.  ❞ ❝  too many claim you’re evil.  ❞ ❝  why are you so eager to help strangers? sit your ass down or there’ll be misfortune.  ❞ ❝  you'd never have managed without me, would you? come, now, admit it.  ❞ ❝  for those who remain, death should never take precedence over life.  ❞ ❝  thanks for coming. thanks for risking your life for me.  ❞ ❝  don’t force me to speak of it. no more, please.  ❞ ❝  when doubt plagues your mind, follow your instincts. should they steer you wrong and land you in muck, you'll land at peace with yourself. and that's most important.  ❞ ❝   just know that i know you're here. one misstep, one error...you'll make a mistake, it's inevitable...i'll be the first to learn it.  ❞ ❝  i do not know you. i’ve done you no harm.  ❞ ❝  try not to panic...just doesn’t suit you.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’ll be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  had i known what would happen here, i'd never have come.  ❞ ❝  i can say i’ve seen it all now.  ❞ ❝  these scars have long yearned for your tender caress.  ❞ ❝  i don’t fall victim to curses. i cast them.  ❞ ❝  come outside. we can hold hands and stare at the sky.  ❞ ❝  we’ll work well together --- i can see that already.  ❞ ❝  from the first moment i set eyes upon you that fateful evening, my heart has only beaten for you.  ❞ ❝  i trust you as much as you trust me --- not at all.  ❞ ❝  you’ve gone all red in the face just for talking about it.  ❞ ❝  wake up. it’s just a dream. wake up!  ❞ ❝  i still don’t believe everything that happened.  ❞ ❝  i never miss twice.  ❞ ❝  bit too old to believe in bedtime stories, aren’t you?  ❞ ❝  you humans have...unusual tastes.  ❞ ❝  didn’t think it worthwhile to tell me, warn me of your plans?  ❞ ❝  i think you will not attack one unarmed.  ❞ ❝  the deeper i get into this, the more i gotta wonder...why’re you even helping me?  ❞ ❝  to live in peace, we first must kill.  ❞ ❝  at times fate muddles our path, and life turns toilsome, hard to bear.  ❞ ❝  i fight for whoever’s paying the best. or whoever’s easier to rob.  ❞ ❝  do not let my beauty distract your aim.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen what is to come, i know destruction approaches.  ❞ ❝  the war awoke an ancient power. an evil one that feeds on bloodshed.  ❞ ❝  guess you’re no stranger to fury, either.  ❞ ❝  think i’m gonna fall for that? no chance, you’re wrong.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit --- you do pretty well with a sword.  ❞ ❝  you dare tell me to calm down?! you?!  ❞ ❝  let's say i go about my business, and when there's coin to be earned, i don't readily turn it down.  ❞ ❝  i wish to know the truth...be it sweet, be it painful, i wish to know.  ❞ ❝  men, the polite ones at least, would call me a monster.  ❞ ❝  even i grow ill at the sight of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m going on a walk. or is that not allowed either? because i could break my leg?  ❞ ❝  plan’s crazier than it is sane...but there’s an irrestistible charm to it.  ❞ ❝  unbelievable! you said something romantic! you!  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  if anything should happen to you...  ❞ ❝  there’s not been a dark cloud yet that didn’t have a silver lining.  ❞ ❝  those are some fresh lookin’ scars you’ve got there.  ❞ ❝  no. no more about the battle. just hold me. and say something nice.  ❞ ❝  stay. this is the only home we’ve ever had.  ❞ ❝  you’re so charming when you try to be funny.  ❞ ❝  not proud of it...yet i considered all the options and found none better.  ❞ ❝  i look far different from when you last saw me.  ❞ ❝  i admire your optimism. wish i shared it.  ❞ ❝  and...try not to draw any attention to yourself.  ❞ ❝  nightmares haunt our nights and days. folk sleepwalk from their homes, never to return.  ❞ ❝  forgive me. it couldn’t be avoided. i truly am sorry.  ❞ ❝  well i’ve departed, escaped, been forced to flee so many times…yet i always returned. you ought to be used to it by now.  ❞ ❝  the human mind is as wild and unexplored a place as any land far beyond the sea.  ❞ ❝  you think you’ve won. you are wrong. i can’t die.  ❞ ❝  you’re something more. something more.  ❞ ❝  barely nicked me, i’ll be fine.  ❞ ❝  it’s just that i felt...stifled, in your shadow. i’d have suffocated had i stayed.  ❞ ❝  come, don’t just stand there. i want a hug.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely here! i could stay forever.  ❞ ❝  do what you will, but leave me out of this.  ❞ ❝  we should end this discussion -- before i say something i'll regret.  ❞ ❝  you all right? you’re as pale as death.  ❞ ❝  let’s get back to the hut. i’ll protect you along the way.  ❞ ❝  not to keen on talking about it, are you?  ❞ ❝  it’s better to die than to live in the knowledge that you’ve done something that needs forgiveness.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  at times one must use reason, rather than blades.  ❞ ❝  need some peace. gotta prepare.  ❞ ❝  i suspected it might not be the best idea, but i was desperate, had no choice.  ❞ ❝  so tell me how it happened. step by step.  ❞ ❝  it was a bit of a lark, a jest. i meant to bring it all back, i swear.  ❞ ❝  if i wanted to kill you, you'd be long dead by now.  ❞ ❝  that is precisely one of the reasons why i abhor your world.    your senseless brutality.  ❞ ❝  i won’t let them take you, you know that?  ❞ ❝  magic...childish hocus-pocus. it’s just not interesting. what i find fascinating are true tales of true human lives.  ❞ ❝  save your praise for others. i couldn’t give a shit.  ❞ ❝  well, well, i am impressed. doubted you still had it in you, frankly.  ❞ ❝  i like you. don’t make me hurt you.  ❞ ❝  you know very little can hurt you being immortal, so you take wild risks, chase extreme sensations. there comes a point you’ve done it all, and all seems boring and monotonous.  ❞ ❝  with you i finally feel...harmony. a calm. feel like things are the way they're supposed to be.  ❞ ❝  i'm afraid the dishwater’s as good as it gets in this establishment.  ❞ ❝  sorry to take so long, but i had to deal with the guards.  ❞ ❝  i’d never miss a chance to spend a pleasant evening with you.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. yet one more reason why you must die.  ❞ ❝  or perhaps you seek to trick me.  ❞ ❝  if you acknowledge any gods...start praying, now.  ❞ ❝  it’s very simple. you either deceived me...or not.  ❞ ❝  i am known neither for my sense of humor nor for my patience.  ❞ ❝  naturally, it would be easier with your help, but...you irritate me.  ❞ ❝  love questions like that. am i holding up? what, my dick?  ❞ ❝  we never hunt in these woods. not even if it means the whole village starves.  ❞ ❝  we’re only ever the ones to know the truth about ourselves.  ❞ ❝  you’re insolent because you believe i cannot afford to hurt you. and you’re right.  ❞ ❝  i detest graveyards, especially wandering them alone.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. you impede me too often. and i find your arrogance an annoyance.  ❞ ❝  i know it’s wartime, but try not to be a hero, all right?  ❞ ❝  i don’t know that i’ll make for engaging company. in truth, i rarely talk to men.  ❞ ❝  you know...had a dream about you recently.  ❞ ❝  i thought i could at least count on you to treat me seriously.  ❞ ❝  don’t ask questions you know the answers to. it makes you look stupid.  ❞ ❝  you’re nosy. starting to piss me off, you know?  ❞ ❝  what did i do to deserve this? have i given you cause to doubt my intentions?  ❞ ❝  don’t fret about me. i always get by somehow, right?  ❞ ❝  i wanted to go with you --- that was my idea.  ❞ ❝  i shan’t stray a step from your side.  ❞ ❝  if that’s what it takes to save the world, it’s better to let that world die.  ❞ ❝  what’s that supposed to mean? that a threat?  ❞ ❝  i’m offering a great and true adventure, an experience like no other, the fate of only the chosen few.  ❞ ❝  that’s like choosing between pestilence and the plague.  ❞ ❝  what’s it matter? i only ever thought of you.  ❞ ❝  did you know you’ve gained twenty-seven new scars since we’ve last saw each other?  ❞ ❝  i need to know the details if you want me to get my hands dirty.  ❞ ❝  don’t know you. go away.  ❞ ❝  ever vigilant, even in your sleep. quite vampire-like, in fact.  ❞ ❝  gotten used to people treating me like a freak, an outcast.  ❞ ❝  we share a cause, then. just like the old days.  ❞ ❝  ever considered becoming a burglar? skill like that’d come in awful handy.  ❞ ❝  there’s never been a frown that couldn’t be turned upside down.  ❞ ❝  honesty's an attribute of the truly brave --- and thus the privilege of the very few.  ❞ ❝  you do not have a monopoly in altruism, my friend.  ❞ ❝  great love demands great sacrifices.  ❞ ❝  i believe it wise at times to share one’s secrets, unburden oneself to those one can trust.  ❞ ❝  it would be nice from time to time if you could sit back and enjoy life, instead of going around solving everyone’s problems.  ❞ ❝  we shall dance until the break of dawn!  ❞ ❝  a man could lose his head for a lass like you.  ❞ ❝  don’t have to come if you don’t want. wait here.  ❞ ❝  never seen this side of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m to kiss the ground you walk on, is that it? but you just did your duty.  ❞ ❝  the day you give me a smile...that moment, that’s what i’m waiting for.  ❞ ❝  i need a soul intelligent and clever, an individual who fears no dare. someone like you.  ❞ ❝  if i was you i’d catch some shut-eye, not go on flapping my tongue.  ❞ ❝  the plan is simple...which does not mean it will be easy to execute.  ❞ ❝  sometimes you really get on my nerves, you know.  ❞ ❝  you shall not turn on me, use what i say against me? you shall not tell anyone?  ❞ ❝  gave you a chance. should’ve taken it.  ❞ ❝  always better to do a bit more and even gain nothing by it,    than to do too little and face regret.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely out here. the birds singing, the bees buzzing...blissful, really.  ❞ ❝  what a lovely dress. the color suits you exquisitely.  ❞ ❝  pretty fantastic tale. hard as hell to believe.  ❞ ❝  it’s time you discovered my romantic side.  ❞ ❝  you gotta understand the whole world doesn’t revolve around you.  ❞ ❝  can you not see i am out of my mind with worry?  ❞ ❝  every rose has its thorn, and there are no happy endings.  ❞ ❝  pretty quick to reject help. why is that?  ❞ ❝  don’t need to like each other. just gotta do our jobs.  ❞ ❝  frankly, if i can do something for you, i'll do it, willingly.  ❞ ❝  you were hired you kill me, were you not?  ❞ ❝  what’s it like, going toe to toe with a monster? knowing you’ve only two options --- to kill or be killed?  ❞ ❝  this place --- there’s evil here. death hangs in the air.  ❞ ❝  intellect counts as much as strength.  ❞ ❝  i run back inside, hasp the doors, and then i hear it --- someone whispering my name.  ❞ ❝  you know i like you. unlike the rest of this lot, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders.  ❞ ❝  if you love somebody, set them free.  ❞ ❝  if you hate me so deeply, why don’t you tell me to my face?  ❞ ❝  i’m afraid you’d not realize which way the wind was blowing if you pissed straight into it.  ❞ ❝  that was courageous. i'd never expect it from you.  ❞ ❝  i am not easily impressed, but i must admit you have succeeded, my dear.  ❞ ❝  kill me if you must. i’ve nothing to live for anyway.  ❞ ❝  aren’t you an extraordinary beauty.  ❞ ❝  never suspected you believed such things.  ❞ ❝  wait...you want to go with me? out of the question.  ❞ ❝  used to it. not the first time i’ve been hunted.  ❞ ❝  enough of this hesitation, this fretting, these feelings of guilt!  ❞ ❝  strange working with you. strange, but great.  ❞ ❝  give me a moment. i must don something more appropiate and concealing.  ❞ ❝  killing comes as naturally to me as blowing my nose.  ❞ ❝  ......   another tale of a life compromised and ultimately claimed by greed and ambition.  ❞ ❝  in the future, though, remember this --- i can look after myself  ❞ ❝  you'd really worry about me if i went on alone?  ❞ ❝  you have many merits. you merely hide them from the world very diligently.  ❞ ❝  is it true virtue always trumps villainy?  ❞ ❝  watch my movements. i’m spry as a cat and sly as a fox.  ❞ ❝  ah, if only this could last forever.  ❞ ❝  few i can rely on like i can on you. kinda hoping you think the same of me.  ❞ ❝  you are angry at the whole world. you feel inferior, feel pain, though you mask this with confidence, arrogance, even.  ❞ ❝  there exist worries for which there quite simply is no other medicine.  ❞ ❝  your bones look thin, your breathing’s wheezy. afraid one punch might kill you.  ❞ ❝  to love is to build a house of cards, or play a game of chess, but one word or ill-thought move and you must start it all afresh.  ❞ ❝  i’m doing what i ever wanted to do, being who i wanted to be. i believe that’s one definition of happiness.  ❞ ❝  you’ve not an ounce of refinement in you, have you?  ❞ ❝  pain rules the body, but fear is born in the heart.  ❞ ❝  either i get burned, or i’ll burn all else down. no other options.  ❞ ❝  should you decide your sword is the sole solution, i shall not stand in your way.  ❞ ❝  c’mon, come closer.  ❞ ❝  would you prefer i treated you like the lying manipulater you are?  ❞ ❝  i regret nothing. one lives but once.  ❞ ❝  i just hope this tale has a happy ending. for me, for you. for everyone.  ❞ ❝  just gonna go our seperate ways? no parting words?  ❞ ❝  you still stand to be quite useful to me.  ❞ ❝  i suppose you wanted to frighten me...alas, you didn’t in the least. after all, i’m a monster too, am i not?  ❞ ❝  i trust no one. learned that long ago.  ❞ ❝  it cannot be! you actually have a sense of humor.  ❞ ❝  didn’t ask for a lecture on probability. need a simple answer --- yes or no.  ❞ ❝  another word, and i shall spill even more blood. yours.  ❞ ❝  you feel resentment, i understand, but we shall work through all the unfortunate matters of the past.  ❞ ❝  stop playing dumb. i know everything...your plan.  ❞ ❝  honestly can’t see what all those dames see in you --- you’re a stick in the mud.  ❞ ❝  not showy, lovely location...perfect for romantic getaways.  ❞ ❝  i hope you’re not upset i came like this, without warning...  ❞ ❝  i’m still a long way from mastering anything. but i am trying.  ❞ ❝  now i know how you do it. just annoy your opponents to death.  ❞ ❝  word on the street is there’s a hefty bounty on your head.  ❞ ❝  for a few days now i’ve been having dizzy spells.  ❞ ❝  i’ve always had a way with ostensibly dangerous types.  ❞ ❝  wound doesn’t look good.    patch that up quick if i were you, before it starts festering.  ❞ ❝  always seemed to me you were a very complicated creature, by nature. not one to resort to such simple methods like drinking your worries away.  ❞ ❝  may i be honest? yes, i’m nervous. i really would prefer to just run off.  ❞ ❝  father always said a wise man learns from others’ mistakes, so here i am, learning from his.  ❞ ❝  ever since that horrid night...everything has changed.  ❞ ❝  what’s wrong? afraid? gut feeling queasy?  ❞ ❝  used to bother me, all your secrets...now i know if you have something to tell me, you’ll tell me.  ❞ ❝  i so don’t feel like going anywhere. sit here a while longer?  ❞ ❝  there’s something i’d like to know...how can you be so damned calm?  ❞ ❝  my knees quake like a carnival rattle.  ❞ ❝  honestly didn’t think this’d work. doubted anything would happen.  ❞

#roleplay starters #roleplay meme #long post for ts /

[recovering-catholic]

Never Again

I am tired of my body being a debate stage

My uterus a qualifier for how much woman I am

It seems as though no matter what I do

I can be so easily reduced to just my body

My value fluctuating depending on it

I am empty, waiting to be filled and given purpose

I am defined by what I can hold or carry

My entire life a countdown, a ticking clock

Choose your fetters, sister - you will be told you will regret it either way

When I say I am pro-choice,

I think of the stories I'm not supposed to know

My great-grandmother found on the bathroom floor of the farmhouse

The bottle of lye

The price she paid

The children who lost their mother that day

We cannot go back there

My auntie telling me how she walked alone into the clinic, pulling her hijab over her face as she passed the screaming protesters

Tearing a sign out of someone's hands

I'm sick of these debates

This isn't just a theoretical discussion, this is real fucking life

And might I remind you that the senators' mistresses will always be given a choice

Forgive me for not being inspired by Kylie Jenner's one billion

By Beyonce's sweatshop feminism

For not caring about the number of women governors or CEOs

The path to the glass ceiling is a pile of bodies

The bodies of my working class sisters and siblings

The women who swore to lift us up instead using us as stairs to climb

Digging red bottomed heels into our backs to finally reach the top

I'm bruised

I'm sore

I'm tired

I'm tired

I want to sleep and dream of a better world

In which we are united and the struggle is over

"Woman free from man

All free from capital"

Because when I wake up, there will be work to do.

#emily speaks #my poetry #i wrote this a while ago #i hate that it's still relevant #texas abortion ban #pro choice #tw: pro life #excatholic #exchristian #ex catholic #ex christian #exvangelical #apostate #deconstruction #deconversion #religious trauma #deconvert #women and deconstruction

[rhube]

Sometimes I think about Moffatt (I try not to, but he's left a deep scar over Who) and the way that I grew up in a world where every adult programme was sexist (most of them extremely so) and though cartoon usually did better (often in surprising ways) they at least supported gender norms, even if they tried to position girls as being as important as boys. And because the cartoons were better than the adult tv it took me a while to realise, but I reckon around the age of 8 I had figured it out. But you told yourself, because the teachers told you and the cartoons told you, that these were 'outdated views' and things were 'getting better'.

But then it was the 90s, and there was, of all things, a backlash against the feminism of the 70s and 80s. Women had gone 'too far' or women *could* have power, as long as it was feminine and sexy. Spice Girls and girl power and Buffy whose strength was magical (but lol, actual girls and women cannot be strong) but Ellen Ripley and Sarah Connor must go back in this box - let us never speak of 'strong women' again without a million caveats about how you don't *really* mean women who are strong, because if you mean women who are strong you ONLY mean women who are physically strong, right? (Doesn't matter if you never did, that phrase is poisoned now and you can't take it back.)

And for a moment - a MOMENT - we saw a shift. Battlestar Galactica and the novel concept of a RANGE of powerful women. Feminine, not-feminine, older, younger, some of them not even white... Women who were capable of being sexy, but not bound by sex. There was something burgeoning there...

And New Who picked it up. For all the faults towards the end of RTD's era, his vision was bold and uncompromising progressive. Rose and Martha and Donna and Harriet Jones Flydale-North - all of them bold and powerful and very different from each other.

And then... and then a companion who's a kiss-a-gram. A doctor who will exclaim 'Women!' And that's the ENTIRE joke. Women who are love interests and mothers and whose lives revolve around breathless gasps of the Doctor's name. A show runner who unabashedly states that all women - all of us - have the end goal of trapping men in marriage. (As a woman who thought marriage is antithetical to love and a patriarchal construct, you can imagine my confusion and rage*. It's bad enough that all the romcoms end with the 'I don't believe in marriage' person getting cornered into it - yes, I identify with the men in those films, and yes, the denial of happy ending for a long-term relationship without marriage spoils it for me.)

And the worst thing was not simply that for the first time I could no longer watch all the Doctor Who episodes there were to watch, it was all the fans who were saying 'Well, these things take time. He's a bit old-fashioned but he writes good stories. You have to allow the older generation...'

No I fucking do not.

Because I received that message loud and clear when I was 8, and now I know it's a lie.

Those old ideals don't go away if you give them time, they put down roots.

And I'm just so fucking sad because if you talked about sexism in Doctor Who at conventions people would try to hush you up around the big names: 'They're friends with Moffatt! It distresses them to hear people knocking their friend.' And...

This is not walking around saying 'Moffatt can't write.' Or 'Moffatt isn't true enough to Who canon' or 'It's not like it is in the old days' or 'Why doesn't this kids show fit my adult preferences'.

I get when people are put out by criticisms like that.

This is: this person is writing hurtful things about people of my sex - he's writing hurtful things about me and people like me - and he's putting them in a kids show from which kids will come to understand how they view the world. It might not be nice to hear about it, but you don't get a free pass to never hear your friend get calling out if he's walking around hurting people.

But now you can't say you're really into Doctor Who if you didn't watch all of the Moffatt years. The people who get invited to talk on panels and podcasts are the ones who can't just talk your ear off about the show, but are the people who will say the RIGHT things about the show. The mainstream acceptable things.

And I am left wondering how, in this day and age, the mainstream acceptable thing for a family TV show is a patriarchal figure making jokes where the punchline is simply 'Women!'

And I know we've moved past that now, and Jodie was great. But you still couldn't mention her without 5 hundred million men piping up to say 'I'm not sexist, BUT'. And... it's left a scar.

There are episodes I can't watch, and ones that make me feel sick because I did. And that portion of fandom that's accepted as 'BNFs' is still like 'I can't believe people who say Doctor Who wasn't just as sexist in the past!' And I want to SCREAM. Because, firstly, it really wasn't. Ace and Teagan and Nyssa as the companions of my childhood, out there representing a range of ways to be cool and interesting (and yes, fucking strong) as women and the Doctor never once making jokes about them being women. Each of them having their own reasons to travel with the doctor that didn't boil down to 'He's just so cool and my life revolves around HIM'.

But also, EVEN IF IT WAS sexist 30 years ago, guess what? TIME PASSED. People told us back then to be patient and just wait and to just tell ourselves things would get better.

And yet there we were again.

So now, when I just see a gif set from better times... it's still tarnished with sadness. That things went so wrong, and people made the exact same excuses for ot that they had when I was a child.

It's heartbreaking. And I loved Doctor Who SO MUCH. As soon as the internet made them available I was downloading missing episodes and listening just to the audio. I was gonna have consumed every episode of Doctor Who that ever existed.

That won't happen now. That can't be me. It's too painful. And I resent that.

There's no happy ending to this post. Just an enduring sadness.

Never be satisfied with saying it's OK because someone is from a different generation. It isn't true that you just have to put up with a certain amount of abuse just to consume escapist content.

You're right to be mad. You have a right to your anger. Things SHOULD be better.

*I also think you should do what makes you and your partner happy, though. I'm not preaching to anyone.

#rant #doctor who #sexism

[chloebeale]

won’t you sing me your sweet lullaby

rating: T

word count: 1.6k

read below or on ao3!

*

Chloe had been warned on many occasions, by many people, that growing a child in her body would absolutely not be the most comfortable of situations, and at just over four months into her pregnancy, she is beginning to see just how right all of those statements actually were.

Not that she would change anything, of course. The terrible bouts of morning sickness, the almost unbearably sore boobs, the aching back, it is all worth it for the baby she and Beca have been trying to add to their family for what feels like forever now. They have so much love to give, so much love for each other, their baby truly is going to be showered with endless affection, too. So, it is worth it. It is all worth it, and Chloe outright refuses to complain.

Fortunately, despite being the one carrying their unborn child, Chloe is not left to suffer alone. No, maybe Beca does not feel the physical pain, doesn’t experience the mental exhaustion, but she has been the total definition of the perfect, doting wife throughout. It seems that all Chloe has to do is think about ice cream and Beca is suddenly right there with at least three different flavors for her to choose from; her face contorts into an unintentional wince and Beca is immediately there to rub her back.

In fact, Beca is so focused on Chloe and the baby, so intent on making sure that they are okay and that they have everything they need, that her own needs seem to be falling to the wayside.

And it really is so sweet of her to care so wholeheartedly, so incredibly nice of her to want to do her share, but Chloe is adamant on making sure Beca knows that she is just as important, too.

Chloe has never been the type to nap throughout the day. A morning person through and through, Chloe wakes up with the sun and seizes the day, but with the added exhaustion of growing an entire human, afternoon naps have kind of become routine. She fought them for a while, insistent that she could make it to bedtime on copious yawning alone, but it became quickly clear that she needed that time to recharge, and honestly, Beca kind of needed the break, too.

It is when Chloe is napping that Beca seems to be her most productive, it is when she takes the time for herself to do what she wants to do, and sometimes Chloe will prolong her time in bed, simply lying there post-nap and comfortable with her own thoughts, for the sake of allowing Beca that extra bit of downtime.

It proves difficult this afternoon, though, when Chloe hears the soft sound of melodic music floating throughout their home, for her not to want to go and see.

Music is an important part of their lives, it is what brought the two of them together. While Chloe still adores it, while she still sings constantly, it is something more of a hobby for her now. She has her veterinary career to keep her busy in a vocational sense, but music has remained everything to Beca. It is her job, it is in the way Beca expresses herself, and to hear Beca Mitchell make music is to know true, unbridled passion. It is the purest, most beautiful joy to behold, and Chloe cannot help but follow the soft sound floating from the living room to witness Beca when she is truly in her element.

She pads slowly at first, not wanting to disturb Beca’s musical flow, but apparently Beca must mess up a part of her song, something Chloe genuinely wouldn’t even notice if it was not for the way Beca quickly stops and mutters out an aggravated curse, the room effectively growing quiet and lending attention to the soft sound of Chloe’s bare feet tapping against the wood of the floor.

“Shit, sorry,” Beca says through a defeated sigh, shoulders slumping as she turns on her small piano bench to shoot an apologetic look in Chloe’s direction. “I knew I shouldn’t have done this while you were sleeping, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No,” Chloe shakes her head, shuffling closer to rest a hand delicately against Beca’s tensed shoulder. “You didn’t wake me.”

The scrunch to Beca’s nose tells Chloe that she doesn’t altogether believe her, but she chooses not to press, so Chloe only offers her a gentle smile, before padding over to slip comfortably into the space on the bench beside Beca.

“What were you playing?” Chloe hums, body melting beneath the way Beca turns her head to press a soft kiss to Chloe’s shoulder. “It sounded really beautiful, Bec.”

“Something new,” Beca murmurs, mouth still resting delicately against her shoulder. “Still needs some work. How was your nap?”

“It was good,” Chloe shrugs, though she is far more interested in Beca, far more interested in prolonging the amount of time Beca puts the focus on herself. “Will you play it for me?” she motions toward the piano, then glances down to the way Beca is still resting against her, gray-blue hues staring up at her through fanned lashes.

“Uh, I don’t know, Chlo,” Beca frowns, “Like I said, it still needs some work. Like, a lot of work,” she chuckles quietly, though they are both very well aware of how difficult a time Beca has when it comes to saying no to Chloe. All it takes is an exaggerated pout and a bat of her lashes for Beca to suck in a deep breath through her nose, and to easily relent. “You’re a pain,” she teases, shooting Chloe a heatless glare, before pushing another soft peck to her shoulder, then dutifully straightening up.

“I am,” Chloe agrees proudly, shuffling comfortably on the spot as she waits for Beca to begin to play.

Beca positions her fingers against the white keys, and Chloe’s gaze naturally follows her movements, hand instinctively settling over her small yet rapidly growing bump.

Chloe doesn’t play piano. She doesn’t play any instruments, in fact, so it always serves to amaze her as she watches Beca playing so expertly, so beautifully. It is like watching magic unfold, the way Beca’s fingers dance along the keys in such a fluid motion, and as the soft melody plays out around them, Chloe finds her own fingers gently tapping against her stomach, keeping time with Beca’s slow, somehow haunting creation.

She does this often; cradles the growing bump protruding from her small frame. Chloe does not know whether it is a protective thing or simply a form of comfort, but regardless, she does it a lot. As Beca plays, though, this is the first time Chloe has ever felt such a distinct movement back.

“Bec,” Chloe cuts into the soft sound, with Beca immediately pausing the rhythm of her fingers. Chloe glances down toward her stomach with a slightly hanging jaw.

“What? What happened?” Beca jumps instantly into natural panic mode, body twisting to better face Chloe. “Is it the baby? What’s going on?”

Chloe’s eyes are still trained on her stomach, hand still settled in the exact same place as another soft kick pushes against her palm.

“The baby kicked, they’re kicking,” Chloe says in a voice filled with awe. She doesn’t want to stop touching, doesn’t want to stop feeling the most incredible, most exciting sensation she has ever experienced, but she wants Beca to experience it, too. Quickly lifting her other arm over her middle, Chloe’s fingers wrap coddlingly around Beca’s hand to place gently by her own.

“Holy shit,” Beca practically chokes, hand slipping beneath Chloe’s to feel the movement directly. She glances upward through widened irises swirling with amazement, and Chloe responds with the kind of smile that will not stay at bay even beneath the way her teeth have sunk slowly into her bottom lip.

Beca’s body twists closer, free hand moving to rest over Chloe’s bump now, too. “Babe, oh my God,” she gasps, words quiet and awestricken. “I feel them. That’s…”

“I know,” Chloe nods gently, watching the interaction between her wife and their unborn child with a kind of love she cannot even fathom, that she cannot even attempt to put into words.

And Chloe has heard about these milestones, always thought it would be an adorable thing to get to feel for herself, but nothing could’ve prepared her for that look of utter wonder on the face of the woman she loves. Nobody could’ve ever told her how much true adoration she would be filled with as a shiny film of joyful tears swept over Beca’s gaze, causing the same to well up in Chloe’s brightened eyes, too.

“God,” Beca breathes, one hand slipping from Chloe’s stomach to instead grasp tenderly at her cheek, until she can stretch up and brush a slow peck to Chloe’s curved lips. “That’s so fucking cool.”

Chloe giggles quietly into the small kiss, head nodding gently. “It’s very cool,” she agrees, fingers brushing against Beca’s where their hands both splay protectively across her bump. “Bec, I think our baby really liked your song.”

Beca’s soft chuckle in response precedes her other hand rising to Chloe’s opposite cheek, until she can cup her face in the most delicate grasp. She pulls back from her lips, two sets of glossy blue eyes boring into one another. They do not need words, don’t need to verbalize anything to know how they are both feeling. They simply stare in a wordless exchange, Beca’s head gently nodding to tell Chloe that whatever she is thinking, however she is feeling, Beca is feeling it, too.

They have always been on the same page like that; their immeasurable love for their baby is no exception.

It really is all so, so worth it. It is so worth it for this.

#beca mitchell #chloe beale #bechloe #bechloe fic #bechloe ficlet #mine #mine:writing #mine:ficlet #won't you sing me your sweet lullaby

[hikarimiyanaga]

I'll Always Be Yours (Part 5)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Fifth Song: Dahan (Gently)

You stop trying to fight your stubborn heart. Just wanting to live a lonely life without her.

A/N: Officially completed and I'm starting on my Wanda fic now!!

Might take weeks to finish that one though...

Oh well.

Dialogues that are in parenthesis are spoken in Japanese.

Warning: Angst

No more tears

I won't force it anymore

You are my love

Until eternity

No more listening

My mind is confused

I hope you know

You are the one I love

-

You hum as you draw. It took you a week until you can finally draw your sketches again. Another week to pick up a paintbrush and actually paint.

It’s been four months since then. Your only missing at least two more paintings so you could open another art exhibit. You hum as you take a sip of your coffee.

“Shouldn’t you stop?” You raise an eyebrow at Silvia.

“That’s your third cup already and it’s only 11 am.” You shrug at her and continue sketching.

“Will the last one be Natasha?” You stop and contemplate Miyuki’s words. You haven’t sketched her since you broke down.

“Most probably.” You’ll probably use one of your older sketches. The ones where the woman you draw was the one you knew. Not Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow and Avenger but just Natalia, the little girl who turned into a gorgeous woman. Natalia whom you loved with your every being.

“Maybe sell it this time?” You frown at Silvia. “You rejected the last offer for the portrait!” You shrug. “It was 20 million!” Miyuki whistles at you and you smile.

“I still don’t want anyone to monopolize her.” Silvia sighs in defeat and Miyuki consoles her.

-

You start painting her portrait again and you can’t help but smile. You just hope that wherever she is. Whomever she was with. That you’re still holding onto your promise with her. You’ll always be waiting for her. Loving her. You stretch your body as you pause for the day. You really did meant forever.

“Silvia?” Silvia opens your door and peeks inside.

“Yeah?”

“Can you contact Professor Asuna? See if there’s any willing gallery that I can rent for a week?”

“Okay. Got it.”

“Thanks, even though you’re only my bodyguard.”

“It’s called assisting. I do that too.”

“I know!” You chuckle as she closes the door. You open your phone and lay down on the floor. You begin watching videos of the love of your life.

-

“Natasha.” Nat ignores Clint and stares at her portrait. “Hey.”

“What?”

“There’s a kid that wants to interview you?” Natasha sighs and turns around.

“Why?”

“About the painting, I think.”

“Where?”

“In front of Mona Lisa.”

-

Natasha approaches the kid who smiles at her.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Colette. A big fan of Master Y/N.”

“Have you met her?” Natasha sits besides the kid and they both look at Mona Lisa.

“Yes. Many times. Through her exhibitions. Never got to buy any of original painting though, just the postcards one.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Just answers.”

“To what?”

“Do you and Master Y/N know each other?”

“Knew.” Natasha answers with a sigh. “Before I became an Avenger, I knew her.” Colette hums.

“To what extent?”

“What?”

“Your relationship? Friends? Lovers? Enemies?”

“Lovers.” Natasha says with a sad smile.

“Ah. I knew it.”

“What do you mean?” Colette shrugs and smiles.

“Do you know that she still loves you?” Natasha gulps and looks at Colette. Colette smiles and gives Natasha an envelope. “It’s all just postcards but you can compare them to your portrait here. The strokes and the color aren’t matching. She must’ve spent days on your portraits and only hours on the landscapes. Granted they’re the ones she sells all the time.”

“She never sells my portraits?” Colette chuckles.

“Never. She said to a buyer once that she doesn’t want anyone to monopolize you. That you’re better taken care of if you’re seen by the world.” Colette bids her goodbye and Natasha looks at the miniature version of your paintings, she goes back to her portrait and her heart stops. Colette was right.

You do still love her. She can’t stop her smile and Clint smiles at her.

“You okay?” Natasha smiles.

“I’m good.”

-

And if it’s not for me

The love that you offer

Then I won’t hope anymore

To be kissed again

-

You sigh as Silvia and Miyuki cuddle each other while you were behind them. You insisted on this arrangement so you could deny that you know them. You pay attention to the screen and flinches when Steve appears. He says that warning that every movie theater does before showing the movie itself. You sigh and you look and see that the two are looking at you. You chuck them a piece of your popcorn and they look at the screen.

-

“The movie was so good!” You yawn as Silvia gushes about the movie.

“Yeah!” Miyuki agrees as you stretch your body.

“Boss? You going back?”

“Yep. You two go on a date or something.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. I’ll go take a nap before painting.”

“How many more days till you finish it?” You grin at them.

“Probably just one more.”

-

You wake up and see Natasha’s portrait staring down at you. You yawn and smile. Your phone rings and you see that it’s Asuna.

(“Hey.”)

(“You ready for it?”)

(“Yup. I’m just going to have the final one in center.”) Asuna hums.

(“Another portrait of her?”) You look at it and smile.

(“Always.”) After you hang up, you send an email to Tony Stark, confirming his invitation to your new exhibition.

-

Slowly release

My heart can't resist

Because once you left

It’s been Extremely difficult

-

You put on your suit and hum at yourself. You clean up nice.

“Is that an appreciative hum for my fashion sense or are you just being narcissistic?” Silvia asks and you roll your eyes. You get out of your room and Asuna smiles at you.

(“Finally. After hours.”)

(“Only an hour. Don’t compare me to you.”) Asuna gasps and Miyuki snickers.

(“Hush, you. Now, come on.”) You smile as you all leave the Ryokan and into your gallery. You laugh as you look around and your new paintings are displayed.

(“Asuna! Thank you! This is amazing!”)

(“On such short notice too.”)

(“Anything for the master. As long as you save me one painting.”)

(“Pick one.”)

(“Wait, seriously?”)

(“Yeah? There are a lot more than the usual so pick one.”)

(“This one then.”) She presents the portrait and you raise an eyebrow.

(“Anything except that one.”) They laugh and you shake your head.

(“This one then.”)

(“Ah. Your hometown?”) Asuna hums and you nod at her.

(“It’s yours. I’ll tell Norah not to auction that one.”)

(“Thank you, Y/N.”) She hugs you and you smile.

(“Okay, then! Two more hours till we open the doors!”) Miyuki shouts and you smile.

-

“Are you sure about this?”

“Of course.”

“It’s your call.” Natasha hums as she approaches the gallery with Tony.

-

You smile as visitors gush about your paintings. Exhibitions are still the one thing that you do make an appearance at. You were about to be approached when you see her. Natasha… she’s alone and looking at her portrait. Your heart beats faster and everything seemed to close in on you. FUCK. She’s here. DAMN IT!

“Boss?” Silvia calls out but you don’t hear her. “Y/N?” She shakes you and you finally look at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Air.” You simply answer and Silvia nods. She escorts you out of the gallery and Miyuki follows after.

-

You clutch your chest as you try to breathe normally.

“In and out, Y/N.” Silvia guides you through your sudden attack.

“Did something trigger it?”

“Not something.” You answer with hoarse voice then drink the water that Silvia gave you. “Someone.”

“Natasha?” You nod in confirmation. “Damn it.” You stop Silvia from going back inside.

“Don’t kick her out. Don’t be rude.”

“Then-“

“I’ll leave. I’ll come back tomorrow.” They nod and you sigh. “Tell them that I got sick or something. Just go.”

“You’ll be okay by yourself?” You nod and bid them goodbye. You walk back to the Ryokan to clear your head.

-

Natasha looks at the stage where Asuna got a hold of the mic.

(“I’m sorry to announce that Master Y/N cannot be here tonight.”) She hears disappointed murmurs go through the crowd. (“It seems that she suddenly got sick and had to leave early. She did say though that she’ll try her best to be here tomorrow.”) Asuna gives back the mic to the Dj and goes among the crowd again.

Natasha tries to find her and sees that Tony actually got to her first.

“Excuse me, Miss-?”

“Ah. Yuuki. Asuna Yuuki.” Natasha shakes her hand and they nod.

“What exactly happened to Master Y/N?”

“I don’t exactly know. Her bodyguards just told me that she got sick and left early.”

“Is she okay? Did something bad happen? Where is she-?” Tony gets ahold of her arm.

“Okay. Sorry for the sudden barrage miss Yuuki. We’ll be going now.” Tony drags Natasha away from Asuna.

-

I will not allow it anymore

You hurt me

That again and forget

Our past

Can't you hear

My chest throbbed

It's getting away from you

My feelings

-

You take a deep breath and fix your suit.

(“You ready, Y/N?”)You nod at Asuna and she opens the doors to your gallery once again. People immediately flock to you. They’re asking how you’re feeling. Some about the paintings. Some about the portrait.

“PEOPLE!” Silvia’s booming voice freeze them and she drags you away from them. (“Stop mobbing the master! She’ll talk to you if she’s feeling any better! Understood?”) They nod simultaneously and Miyuki gives you a glass of water.

“You okay?” You nod and drink the glass in one go.

“You sure about that?” You nod again and give the empty glass back to Miyuki.

“I’m fine now.” You tell them and go to a visitor.

-

You’ve managed to avoid both Tony and Natasha as you talk to everyone else and it’s the last day of your exhibition.

“Miss Y/LN.” You hum as Tony approaches you. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“You’re with miss Romanoff.”

“Ah… do you not like her?” You scoff.

“It’s nothing.”

“She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” You sigh and wave your hand.

“As I promised, a million dollars.” He gives you a check and you shake your head.

“No. The exhibition is free for all. Keep it.”

“You sure?” You nod. “Then I’ll just have to bid all of your paintings.” You chuckle.

“And where will you put them?”

“Avengers’ Compound and Stark Industries.” You hum. He bids his goodbye and you smile.

-

You laugh as Tony bid 5 million on the last painting that Norah auctioned… he just spent 125 million dollars on all of your paintings.

“How about the portrait? A special gift for someone who just got you 125 million?” You go to the stage and Norah gives you the mic.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark. But that portrait will be donated, not bought.”

“Come on, Y/LN!” Silvia growls and you put up your hand to stop her. “125 million! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“It means everything Mr. Stark. But that woman in those portraits also meant everything to me.” You get off the stage and get something from Miyuki.

“Instead of that, please accept this.” You give him the canvas that is covered.

“And this is?”

“A painting for her. I know she’s with you.”

“She had to leave early tonight because of an emergency mission.” You smile.

“And you can just half all of your bids, I don’t mind.”

“No. You earned those 125 million. Pepper will be happy with these pieces.” You hum.

“Mr. Stark.”

“Yeah?”

“Please tell her not to come looking for me again.” You bid him goodbye and leave.

-

Tony tried to find you again but he huffs in frustration. You were too good at hiding your own trail. He hoped to find you before Natasha gets back from her mission but as he hears the Quinjet land softly, he knew that he failed. He runs a hand through his hair and look at your paintings.

You really were a master.

#Natasha Romanoff x reader #Marvel #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #Black Widow x Reader #mcu #natasha x you

[ffangirlingsince2001]

The Princess and the Witcher: Extinquished

*not my gif*

Geralt x Reader

Geralt of Rivia is not a babysitter, he is not a bodyguard, and he has no interest in transporting princesses across the continent. Until gold is offered and for the next 90 days he’s saddled with a chirpy, bubbly, princess, who is betrothed to the prince of Narok and has a desire to see everything before she’s trapped behind another set of walls.

A/N: A little early post to ease off the cliff hanger from the last post, but I am also sorry to say, this is the end, so please enjoy (as much as you can)

Warnings: ANGST

“You’re here to kill me.”

Geralt didn’t think he had heard her at first.

What his ears were convinced they had heard was so absurd he wanted to howl with laughter until no sound came out and he was just shaking. This was all some silly joke, she was trying to get back at him for something, no doubt.

It was a trick, to calm him down after she dropped the news about the prince, or the lack thereof. She was afraid and it was the first lie her childish mind had come up with, something so absurd it was only told in stories about Witcher’s that were meant to frighten children. Now, she was just trying to spare herself his wrath, and honestly, he was prepared to forgive her for everything. There was no prince and she was all his, they even had a home to grow in.

He knew he would live much longer than her, but every moment would be worth it. He would bask in every moment that he could love her. He would enjoy every smile, every soft touch, every worried look she would cast him when he came home from a particularly detrimental kill. She would be his wife, of course. They couldn’t have children, but that wouldn’t stop them from trying. Oh, he was already toying with all the ways they could try to have children. In the loft, in the fields to the west, on the beach to the east, and here in this little house that they would make a home.

All he had to do was forgive her, and hold her, and assure her he was mad no longer, and then they could begin their life together. But, when he moved forward to hug her, she took a solemn step back, tears still running down her face.

“Y/N, I’m not mad, there is no need to lie,” he whispered but all she did was drop to the table and bury her face in her hands, sobbing without restrain. He wasn’t sure what to do. She was lying… and yet. No, she had to be lying. There was no way she could be telling the truth, not when this proclamation was so horrible his hands shook at the thought of it. “Y/N…”

“Please, sit down,” she cried, still hiccupping with tears. He did as she said without a word, dropping his sword for good measure. She eyed it and then turned the teary irises back to him. “I’m not lying. I wish I was, but I am not.”

“Then I have misunderstood you.”

“You have not.”

“Then you must have hit your head as you fled.”

“Geralt, you have to kill me,” she snapped, slamming her clenched fists against the table. He was silent as he stared at her hands, they were so small and undamaged.

“What makes you say such terrible things, Princess?”

“Because they’re true. That’s why we’re here. That’s why you were chosen.”

“Chosen for what?” he yelled, irritation growing as he grew more frantic. He just wanted her to admit it was all a sick joke.

“Do you remember the first night we laid together, in the inn?” she asked, and he nodded. “I told you, you were chosen because you would do whatever it takes, this is what it takes. You were chosen because my father, his advisors, and I all knew that you would do it, when the final hour is upon us you will draw up your sword and end my life.” Geralt stood from the table, shoving it into her stomach as he did so.

“If you are to die, why the trip, why not kill you in your home?”

“Because I wanted to see the world before mine came to an end. It was never to end up like this, you were never supposed to know, not until the very end. And I never meant to become so close, it was supposed to be easy, it was supposed to be easy,” she cried, reaching for him.

“You’re lying. You’re fucking lying, you don’t want to be married so badly that you want me to believe I am supposed to kill you, to end your life before someone can control you. Well, you’ve made one error, I do not kill people, I kill monsters.”

“All the better,” she replied, voice dangerously steady as she straightened herself in the stiff, wooden chair. There were still tears in her eyes, but she meant business. “Please sit down, so I can explain.” He considered leaving, shearing off a piece of her hair and marching back to her father to demand the gold he had promised him, but instead he sat as instructed. She tried to take his hands, but he pulled away. Hurt etched itself across her face but he did not search for restitution.

“It happened before I was born, I didn’t even know it had occurred until a few years ago, and even then, I found out on accident. I assume they wouldn’t have told me until today if they could have avoided it, they would want to spare my sensibilities.”

“Tell you about what?” he snapped, jerking her out of her ramblings.

“The curse.” There was a beat of silence as she waited for him to respond but when he remained quiet, she continued. “Like I said it was a few years before I was born, my father was trying to find a queen to rule along side him. He was looking for someone with royal blood, but even commoners were invited to the parties he was throwing, in hopes of creating something so extravagant that it would attract a woman just as lively as the parties.

“Among the guests was this woman. My father says she looked like an angel that had dropped from heaven like gold from a sunset. He was captivated and mesmerized, so taken aback he was nervous to approach her. He thought about it the entire first night, never quite prepared to introduce himself to the woman he was sure he would marry.

“Because he failed the first night, he hosted another party the following week, and then the one after that, trying to produce something that would be as magnificent as her. On the third week he finally succeeded in approaching her. He introduced himself, and as he nervously stumbled over his name, she must have grown enchanted, because the parties ceased, and she was brought to the palace to be prepared for the wedding.

“Much to the disgrace of the royal family, she was a commoner, nothing more than a milkmaid, but my father was enamored, unwilling to part with her even when his father threatened to send the couple far, far away. The wedding drew nearer, and they were both so happy, so in love.

“And then war broke out. Our borders were shredded to nothing more than desolation, fires ripping across our crops until our farmlands were black scars against the rich earth. The wedding was postponed and for her safety, the lovely bride was sent away to hide. She waited years, and suddenly the war abruptly ended, and she returned to the palace, prepared to wed my father. Yet, when she entered the throne room, she found another sitting on her throne. My mother, the princess of the warring country, had stolen away her place by my father’s side. A marriage of treaty was formed while she was away, and she was left heartbroken and alone, an outcast in the palace that had once welcomed her as their future queen.

“I don’t know if she was a witch or a mage, or maybe she hired someone to do it for her, but the curse was cast on me. A curse that now hangs on the cusp of erupting into violence and bloodshed, a curse that you must end before it begins.”

“What is the curse?”

“A transformation.”

“Of what kind?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Then how do you know it is worth your life? How do you know your death is undisputable?”

“Because I know it’s bad. I can feel it in my bones. I could feel it when I killed the monster. I can feel it every time I look in the mirror and my eyes seem a little more animalistic. I just know, call it intuition, call it paranoia, I know that I am destined to be a monster.”

Geralt roared in frustration, slamming the blade of his sword into the door, lodging it in the soft wood. “You can’t know that.”

“I do.”

“I cannot kill you, especially not on the gut feeling of a princess who has not left the palace before three months ago.”

“We’ll know tomorrow, and you will have to be prepared. If you are right and it is nothing more than ugliness you can leave with your sword clean, but if it is what I know it to be, you must kill me. You cannot allow another monster to exist in this world.”

“There must be a way to break the curse, there is always a way,” he growled, head resting against the split his sword had created. He could hear her standing, inching her way towards him.

“You don’t think we have tried? You don’t think my father spent eighteen years trying to find a way to free me of his mistakes? We have tried, I’ve taken every motion, endured every experiment. It still lingers just beneath my skin like thick, black smoke, ready to turn me into a nightmare.”

“I can’t kill you,” he whispered and she took his face in her hands.

“You must, for the world and for me. I would rather die than ever have to kill another living creature.”

“You are so selfish it hurts.”

“I know, but I need you to do what it takes, and I need to remember what you promised me.”

“What have I promised you?”

“That you will not linger on those you kill. You must forget me, move on and continue to do good in this world.”

“Y/N, I love you, you cannot dare to ask me to kill you, let alone forget you.” She seemed taken aback by his confession, but as she pressed her lips to his he could feel the return of her feelings.

“You must, for the world and for me.”

 *******************************************************************************************

Gold is not gold.

Some is tainted with blood and loss.

And Geralt had no interest in coins that would cause him agony to spend. He was not even sure if he had wanted the gold if he would be able to enter the throne room without severing the kings head.

They had spent the night before her birthday making love. They had whispered confessions into one another’s ears long into the evening and into the night, basking in the secrecy of their affair. When she laid beneath him, he was unable to imagine her dead. She was so full of life, even with the sadness that settled itself in her eyes.

They imagined a future together, both silently and aloud. He could imagine her old and still kicking, like age couldn’t hold her back and she spoke of a twin on each hip, a boy and a girl that would talk just as much as she had when they first met. Beneath the candlelight and the peppering of kisses it was almost easy to forget it was all fake.

Then, the night had begun to draw to a close and she had lead him to the shackles attached to the wall, the hooks he had once mistaken as a tether for horses. He had begged her not to make him to do this, all while he assured her she would be okay.

The chains were tight and as the sun rose over the mountains, she was proven correct. In between screams of agony as her body transformed into a creature of no natural creation, she promised she loved him, that she would be with him, that even as his blade ended her life she would know him for nothing but sincerity and kindness.

And then he killed her, staring back into the eyes that did not change with the transformation. They seemed grateful, relieved that he went through with it, she clearly had doubts that he would be able to do whatever it took.

He buried her, it was the only life he had ever taken that he had buried, but he felt unable to leave without hiding her beneath the earth.

And then he left, in the opposite direction he had come, knowing that he would only be able to keep half of his promise.

He could kill her, but never in his lifetime would he forget her.

                                                        The End

@mallorydoesstuff @facelessfiction @aphadriel-fanfic @raspberrydreamclouds @thegreattodd @saint-hardy @ravenclawsstolemybunies @queenofmankind @britty443 @lonewolf471 @utterlyhopeful-fics @persephonehemingway @fuck-me-gently-with-a-slurpee @josis-teacup @gabbysblogthingy @sadttitude​ 

#the witcher #the witcher angst #the witcher x reader #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher fanfic #the witcher imagine #the witcher fluff #the witcher smut #Geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt of rivia smut #geralt x reader #geralt of rivia fanfiction #geralt fanfic #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia fanfic #geralt of rivia angst #geralt of rivia fluff

[imeverywoman420]

Talking to a pisces about relationships as a virgo is so funny like they really seek structure and support in relationships and its easy for them to get because theyre so go with the flow and like they have no problem making themselves softer.

Like i realized that is not me and thats not an issue. I was like miranda i am literally hannibal lecter about men i like.... I dont have a healthy gauge that tells me “oh when we reach this step of the dating game i will feel this way and then he feels this way and then boom” like it cant just be that simple. Like TO ME that doesnt make sense. Why would you want to be with someone who wants to use you as an ego boost.

Like she tried to say well the reason ur not in a relationship is because you dont make guys wait. Like... duh? Why would i want to be with someone who can control themselves around me. I want love and passion not a business contract. If the man im with doesnt own me and possess me on his OWN FREE WILL i dont want him. If i have to withold sex and make myself into an object for him... how could i be happy with myself. Like i could not see the man im with as a dog that i have to train, a man child that i tricked into “loving” and providing for me.

If relationships arent an area of my life where its acceptable to be myself (slut intense possessive obsessive etc) i dont see the point in getting in one. Like isnt the point of a relationship to meet your emotional needs?

My emotional needs:

get fucked (regularly every day), let me explain hannibal to you, ride in the passenger seat of your sick ass car (tahoes mustangs camaros etc etc), lay in bed with u until 12 pm on our days off, constant physical affection, analyze and dissect your brain so i understand your every thought

Like honestly i cannot understand the mindset of someone whos scared of intensity and would be like Yea ill take the farmers daughter rube nothing girl that makes me wait to have sex with her and reminds me of my mom and after the first 3 years i feel nothing for her. Im literally every woman. I WANT to kill for you. I want to find a man worthy of that devotion. And all the dating advice thats like wel u just cant want it too much :/... Who do i look like. Some little bitch?

[laequiem]

Mal d’amour - Part 5

/5 times the High King of Elfhame missed his exiled wife + 1 time she had enough.

The package is there, on the front porch, but it clearly was not delivered by the postal service. There is no address, just a name: her name in elegant cursive letters. The same handwriting that is on the note she keeps on her nightstand.

Cardan’s.

read on ao3 • masterlist • part 1 • part 2 • part 3 • part 4 • last part

Cardan

It was already dark when I woke up from my dream and gave the package to Liliver. Due to mortals’ strange habit of living during the day, we have to wait the entire night before one of the spies can deliver the package. 

Needless to say, I do not pay much attention to the various meetings and meals I attend during the night. I doubt courtiers notice, given my usual blasé attitude. 

My participation in today’s revel consists mostly of drinking wine and asking the servants for more wine. Whenever someone approaches me for requests or conversation, I reply so shortly that they leave quickly. Nearing sunrise, the Ghost approaches and tells me the package is on its way.

I try to look like I am at least enjoying the revel in front of me. My tail is curled around my calf to prevent it from lashing wildly and betraying my nervousness. My fingers drum absentmindedly on the armrests of the throne as I stare distantly at nothing.

I only last half an hour after the Ghost’s appearance before I retreat from the throne room. 

The Bomb

The air of Portland, Maine stinks of iron and gasoline. Nothing like the mossy and flowery scent of Elfhame. Liliver lifts her scarf over her glamoured face, hoping the fabric will filter some of the iron out. It doesn't work, not really, but at least she will not be staying here for long.

High King Cardan has assigned her the task of delivering a package, as if her talents weren't better used elsewhere. She had agreed, or course—money is money. Plus, she hopes to sneak a glimpse of Jude and assess how her friend is doing. 

Ever since she left, she has been fighting the urge to peek at the contents of the package. It is about the size and weight of a dinner plate and is delicately wrapped in dark green fabric. Seeing how the King hid the thing, it must be quite valuable.

From the rooftop of the building opposite Vivienne Duarte’s apartment, Liliver can see Jude. She is sprawled on an old couch, numbly looking at some square box with moving images. She seems to be the only person in the small house right now—the perfect moment to deliver the package. The High King has made it clear that Jude has to be seen receiving it. Liliver cannot blame him for being careful. 

She makes her way across the street, climbing the stairs as quietly as she can. After placing the box on the floor, she presses the button next to the door and knocks twice. She then jumps to the roof of the adjacent building, making sure she has a good view of the door.

And then she waits.

Jude

Jude groans as she gets up from her spot on the couch for the first time since waking up this morning. Vivi left for work hours ago. Usually, she tells Jude when she is expecting a delivery. Maybe the person rang the wrong doorbell. Still, Jude makes her way to the front door. A peek through the peephole reveals that nobody is on the other side. 

It’s been 30 seconds, they better not have put one of those “sorry we missed you!” notices or else she swears—

The package is there, on the front porch, but it clearly was not delivered by the postal service. There is no address, just a name: her name in elegant cursive letters. The same handwriting that is on the note she keeps on her nightstand. 

Cardan’s.

Her chest tightens and she takes a deep breath. Is this hope or fear? It is her first time hearing from Cardan in more than six months. Part of her hopes that he will revoke her banishment and ask her to come back, but why would he? He is finally free to rule the kingdom by himself and be as cruel and unhinged as he wants to be.

The package looks out of place here, everything from the dried flowers used to decorate it to its delicate grassy smell scream Faerieland.

Jude closes the door behind her as she brings the package inside, certain that someone is out there watching her. She won’t give them the satisfaction of seeing her reaction. She shoves the clutter off the coffee table and puts the package on it as she sits on the couch once again.

For a few minutes, she just stares at it, wondering if it isn’t better to just throw it out. 

Like he threw me out, she hears the intrusive thought over the roaring in her head, loud and unwelcome. 

She clenches her jaw, then undoes the strings tying the fabric together. Inside is a nicely carved wooden box topped by a folded piece of paper. She picks up the piece of paper and unfolds it. Her hands are shaking slightly, with fear or rage she does not know. 

When she reads it, however, the rage takes over.

I miss you.

Your devoted servant,

Cardan

Jude crumples the piece of paper in her hand and lets it fall to the floor. She opens the box and immediately sees red. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she screams to herself as she picks up the crown, its jewels sparkling in the artificial light of Vivienne’s apartment.

She has never seen it before. Cardan either found it deep in the vault or he had it made only to send it to her as a sick joke. In a fit of rage, she throws the crown against the wall and storms to her room. 

Her clothes are scattered everywhere, some of them lying on her air mattress for what might have been weeks. She picks out the darkest, most flexible clothes, then reaches under her mattress for Nightfell.

If it’s trouble he’s after, he’ll find her. 

Cardan

“I almost feel bad, Your Majesty,” the Roach says, “pay up.”

I knew trying to sleep was useless, so I headed for the Court of Shadow headquarters instead, where I have been playing cards with the Roach and the Ghost for hours now.

“I hope you’re not cheating,” the Ghost replies, “the punishment could be deadly.”

I lost every single game.

I am not paying enough attention to win.

The cards in my hands are blurry, their numbers and designs utterly meaningless. 

All I can think about is Jude.

Jude, opening my package and packing her things to come back here. 

Jude, opening my package and immediately throwing it out. 

Jude, immediately throwing the package out without looking inside.

This woman has occupied my every thought for years, and I still cannot predict her moves. She is a puzzle, a challenge I want to lose myself in solving. All I can hope for is that she opened it, at least. 

My last letter. My last gift. My last chance.

If this is all the time I had with her, I royally (urgh) fucked up. 

The Roach gathers the jewels from the middle of the table and brings them to his side.

I discard my hand and reach out to shuffle the deck when his attention snaps to the door, to the small form who just entered.

Immediately, I get up and walk to meet the Bomb.

“Did you find her?” I ask

“Yes,” she says, “She picked it up. I could not confirm that she opened it, but she brought it inside.”

“How is she?” I cannot stop the questions from pouring out of me.

“She looks… different,” she frowns.

I understand she is trying to find a way to phrase it without upsetting me. I do not even know what would upset me more, her being happy in the Mortal Realm, or her being miserable. 

“I see,” I sigh, “Thank you.”

The words feel wrong coming from me—yet they seem right in the moment. I do not know if I have ever thanked someone before. But these people, Jude’s spies, have been dealing with me for the last half-year. They have seen me at my lowest. I cannot go much lower than crying after a particularly gruesome nightmare.

I did not tell them this was my last time reaching out to Jude. From the look of pity in the Bomb’s eyes, she knows. I can’t stand it. I walk past her and leave the Court of Shadows.

The hallways are almost empty as I make my way to the cellars. The guards stand straighter as I pass the various rooms, but none of them stop me or try to talk to me. 

When I get to the cellars, I grab the worst bottle I can find. I wish the royal cellars had some really low quality alcohol—a budding brewer’s first try, anything that would taste as bad as I feel—but even the worst of the collection is still good. I drink the whole bottle.

Then another.

I drink until I forget.

Forget the responsibilities, the kingdom resting on my unworthy shoulders.

I try to forget about Jude, but I black out before I can.

#the folk of the air #tfota #cardan greenbriar #jude duarte #jurdan #judecardan #holly black #the cruel prince #the wicked king #fanfiction #angst #fanfic #cardan

[rextasywrites]

Little Darling 3 - a Lady Dimitrescu x Mia Winters fanfiction

"Mia trashed around in her sleep, not able to find a minute of rest. ‘No...no...Rosy...Ethan…’, her whimpers were heard all over the floor, making Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters look up from their studies. The daughters shared looks while Lady Dimitrescu let out a sigh, standing up. “Let me handle this. I know how she is feeling.”, as she walked to the room Mia was staying in. Cold sweat covered the woman’s forehead, her face pulled into a grimace. ‘Oh Mia, how similar we are’, Lady Dimitrescu thought as she walked over to the woman caught in a nightmare called life."

two chapters in one day? this fic has taken over all my creative ideas atm! :D <3 <3 <3 hope you enjoy it! !!!Flashbacks are written in cursive!!!

Warnings: tw for the turning of Lady Dimitrescu and the abuse and torture she had to face before!

Part 1 Part 2

“No! No! Get away from me!”, Alcina cried out as the men stepped closer to her. Armed to the teeth and not in the mood to take prisoners. Dorina clung to her mother’s leg, not understanding what was going on. As Alcina had her back against the wall, she knew she was losing.

“Get here, witch. Go without a fight and we might let you live. But only might!”, a round of disgusting laughter spilled from the lips of the knights. In no time, they had Alcina and her children tied up, on horseback transported to the castle of the king. Once they arrived, everything went black for Alcina the moment a heavy piece of iron hit the back of her head.

The next thing she knew was darkness and pain. Alcina’s head throbbed as she looked left and right - she was the only one in a dark cell, sitting in some kind of unknown fluid that was staining her dress, leaving her shivering and feeling filthy. But at least these knights let her keep her clothes, which was an improvement to the last time she had been taken for ‘witchcraft crimes’. The only reason why she managed to walk free was because she helped the king with a serious illness. ‘Leave this kingdom and never come back’, they said to her. And that’s what she did. Barefoot and pregnant, she ran for her life and never looked back. But the past would always come to haunt her.

A small light was flickering in the hallway leading to the cell, once the candle reached a certain height, it managed to illuminate the cell a tiny bit. Mold was growing in a corner of the cell, making Alcina cough at the mere sight. Staying in here for too long would make her sick for life. How long has she already been in here?

The door to the cell was thrown open, some knights marching in. They wordlessly ripped the restraints off Alcina’s body, pushing her with them. Fighting back would get her killed, so she remained silent. Just let them do, and maybe they realize the mistakes they are making. But Alcina realized her mistakes the moment she laid eyes on the dead bodies of her children.

Mia trashed around in her sleep, not able to find a minute of rest. ‘No...no...Rosy...Ethan…’, her whimpers were heard all over the floor, making Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters look up from their studies. The daughters shared looks while Lady Dimitrescu let out a sigh, standing up. “Let me handle this. I know how she is feeling.”, as she walked to the room Mia was staying in. Cold sweat covered the woman’s forehead, her face pulled into a grimace. ‘Oh Mia, how similar we are’, Lady Dimitrescu thought as she walked over to the woman caught in a nightmare called life.

The knife was probably rusty but still good enough to cut into prisoners’ body. Alcina screamed in pain as her wrist was cut open, the blood pouring on the floor under the table she was restrained against. A man dressed like a plague doctor came up to her, pressing an unidentified ‘plant’ against the open wound. The wound sealed upon its touch, taking in the ‘plant’ under scraps of blood and regrowing skin. It felt like Alcina could feel the plant growing under her skin, sprawling through her bloodstream, burning like the fire she had used to keep herself warm just mere hours ago. Was it the mold she had seen in her cell?

And suddenly, the restraints felt like warm butter against her body, and with a quick movement, Alcina ripped them off her body. The changes were instantly present. Her muscle mass doubled in mere seconds, and any attack from the knights in the room felt like someone was brushing against her. Alcina threw the men against the walls of the mysterious room, breaking their necks with a few simple strikes. Once all the knights in the room were dead, Alcina broke free, noticing how her height was slowly increasing. Centimeter by centimeter, she felt larger and stronger than anyone or anything she had ever seen before. The feeling of power was something she could get used to.

After running amok in the castle, killing everyone and everything that came into her sight, Alcina threw all the dead bodies into the cellar to rot. Her babies got a funeral in the backyard of the castle, and word spread fast. A monster was living in the castle of Dimitrescu, ready to kill anyone that came close enough for it to smell the human. Was it a vampire? The locals tended to stay away from the castle, not in the mood to be murdered by a monster. And Alcina, now called Lady Dimitrescu in memory of the king she had slaughtered with her bare hands, only killed when she was very thirsty.

Mia gasped and sat up on her bed, shock and fear written across her face. Lady Dimitrescu was leaning against the doorframe, watching her with so much pity. She remembered the pain she had to go through hundreds of years ago as if it was yesterday. “Mia.”, Lady Dimitrescu whispered as she stepped closer to the woman in the bed, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Tears welled up in Mia’s eyes as she thought of her dream. Ethan. Rosy. Slaughtered by the same man who slaughtered her like some pig in a den. “I-”, Mia choked out, but Lady Dimitrescu just placed a hand on her shoulder, showing her as much comfort as she could.

“You don’t have to say anything. I have been through the same pain before. It’s okay. Just let it out, Mia.”, and with those words, every dam in Mia’s body broke. Sobbing against the chest of a fucking vampire, Mia let out all the feelings she had kept hidden and locked away inside of her.

“It’s not fair! It’s not fucking fair! I just want a damn family and not deal with bio weapons!”, she cried as Lady Dimitrescu tightened her hug a little bit, staining her dress with tears and snot. “Ethan nearly died because of me before! Rosy might die because of me! What an useless bitch I am! I cannot even keep my family safe!”

Her cries of hate and sorrow filled the halls of the castle as she begged to every God out there for mercy and to let this nightmare end. But Lady Dimitrescu knew, any God had abandoned humans a long time ago. With soft ‘let it out’s, she was able to calm down Mia sooner or later, until the woman was exhausted from all the screaming and crying she had done.

“Here”, the door was suddenly opened with Cassandra standing in it. She was carrying a glass of cold water, handing it to Mia as she dried her face off the tears and snot in a handkerchief. “You must be thirsty after so much crying.”, instead of waiting for an answer, Cassandra left the room in a hurry, leaving Lady Dimitrescu and Mia alone again. Mia gladly drank some of the water, the incoming headache from crying already around the corner.

“You should try to rest now, Mia.”, Lady Dimitrescu said while she stroked over Mia’s back, giving her at least some comfort in these horrible times.

“Can you stay here? I am so scared.”, Mia asked the vampire lady to her surprise. But who was she to deny such a sweet request?

“Of course, Mia Winters.”, she chuckled. With a quick movement, she took off her heels and moved with Mia under the blanket, an arm around the woman. Lady Dimitrescu was cold all over, but this helped Mia with her incoming headache as she slowly relaxed into sleep. “Good night.”, Lady Dimitrescu said before she placed a kiss on Mia’s forehead, and for a moment, Mia could pretend she wasn’t in a castle in Romania with her family in danger.

#lady dimitrescu #resident evil #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #mia winters

[unstablepzycho]

In another life (Shanks)

Shanks x Reader

Angst

Word count: 1033

Red. That is how I always described her as. The fiery color suited her fiery attitude more than anyone in this life. And it was also the same color I despised on her as I looked at her back.

“Is this how you accept your fate, Y/N?” I asked, as I watched her slowly drifting away in the pools of blood. But before she succumbed in the deep red that tainted her skin, she looked at me with a fierce, determined eyes. The eye that I once fell in love with.

“No, Akagami. This is who I really am.” She said, and with a scream she forced her way to a battle where she knew she can never win from. I watched as she slowly turn into a monster that neither I can recognize.

“To the fallen soldiers.” Screamed by someone at the distance.

“To our freedom.” Answered the civilians.

“And to the justice we deserved!” Y/N said, almightily. I watched and watched as the once four thousand men slowly turn into small numbers of groups, until only one person stood tall.

“This is what I told you, Y/N. Why fight, when we can negotiate and bring ourselves the freedom and peace that we want.” A blonde man said.

“I cannot imagine negotiate and celestial dragons in a sentence, Your Highness. And for the record, we cannot find peace to the person who ordered to kill our men.”

“You brought them to their own death, General. Don’t go blaming us, when all we wanted was to negotiate with the likes of you.” A celestial Dragon sneered.

“Negotiate? Is this how celestial dragons negotiate? You befriended us to learn our powers, and now you’re using our weaknesses against us to follow every sick joke you wanted in your life. Are we a fucking clown to you?!” Y/N screamed with pure hatred dripping in her voice. The Celestial Dragon looked at her with fear as Y/N slowly went to his side.

“Draken, seize your general or our negotiation would end up null and void!” He ordered to the blonde and naïve prince. The little prince looked at his only true general, as the men of the celestial dragon kept on stabbing her with their spears. Slowly, the prince stood up as he unseated his sword. He slashed through her body again and again, until Y/N coughed out blood on his shirt trying to speak did he stop.

The said woman looked at the prince with tired eyes as she still stood tall in front of him.

“Y/N, please stop going against them. I know you’re regretting it, so I’ll give you a chance. Please stop it, right now.”

“I have no regrets in sacrificing everything, Draken. The only regret that I have is choosing you as the protector of my country. You aren’t fit to become the king, Draken. I sacrificed the life of my soldiers for a peaceful and independent country. I didn’t sacrifice myself in war to have the very own person I trust to kill me. Draken... I am not the enemy.”

The prince looked at her all dazed, as he sink into the ground with regret written in his face. Slowly, I stood up from my chair and walked towards the two person as I took a sword from the soldier and went in front of them. Y/N looked at my figure with loving eyes as I watched her blood dripping down on my hand. I looked at her with pain clear in my face, and grabbed her falling body as she recited the words she promised in our past life.

“If I am not yours in the past, then I’ll be yours in the present. If I died without fulfilling it, then kill me in the future.” She recited. “Shanks.” She whispered as I softly grabbed and caress her face as tears fell down my face. “You are the only person I wish to be with, but I guess destiny has everything planned for us. Be free, Shanks. For I shall also be free in my next life. Do not search for me anymore. Our journey together is over. Be happy, and be who you wanted to be. No one can dictate your life but yourself. I love you still, and I have loved you since the very beginning. Wherever you are and whoever you might become next, just know my heart will always belong to you and no one else. I love you, Shanks, be the most free person in the world.”

And with a kiss on my palm, I watched as my lover died on my own hands. I stood up and went to the Prince side, and saluted in front of him with one hand as I carry the dead body of my lover to the other hand.

“General Shank, you’ve done a good job.” The celestial dragon praised.

“Your Highness, I wish to be free.” I firmly said. The prince looked at me with shock hearing the only surviving General wanting to resign.

“Was it really bad?” He asked as he blankly stared at me.

“Yes, Your Highness.” I answered back.

“You... You’re permitted to leave.” He said. I nodded at him and went to the dead body of my friends and I piled their body at a wagon.

After an hour of travelling, I stopped at a spot we usually rest, and buried them there. I stood at a cliff as I contemplated what to do next. I looked behind me and saw the body of my lover slowly turning purple. And picturing her once glowing body and face made me broke down as I made a grave for my lover at a cliff and slowly put her their.

“If we were to meet again in the next life. I promise you, I will be the freest person you’ll ever meet. And even with that next life, I promise that you will always be the only woman in my life and no one else. I will protect you without any hesitation. So wait for me, Y/N. I’ll come back for you.” And with that, I put her picture beside her and cover her.

“Thank you for loving me, Y/N.”

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