#I cannot STRESS how often i think about this

[anemoiashifts]

mental health check-in for reality shifting.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

as we all know, reality shifting is generally neural thing but tends to be glorified & romanized by a select few due to people wanting to have a better situation or a more desirable life.

that in itself is totally fine but this post is created with the intent to make sure the community has a healthy relationship with shifting & if not possible solutions.

if mental health is left unchecked it can lead to destructive behaviors & can worsen preexisting mental health concerns. for me personally, that’s not what shifting is about. you can learn about yourself & grow without even shifting. the expansion of your perspective & becoming more empathetic to yourself is something i believe is extremely important.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ how often do you think about shifting ?

while it’s fun to daydream & think about your desired reality — does it consume your life or take away from other tasks that need to get done in this reality? if you’re somebody who has maladaptive daydreaming disorder (like myself!) it can exacerbate the fantasy-like aspect of thinking about shifting.

if you’re someone whose mind wanders a lot do something productive. this could be finishing some homework that you’ve been putting off for a long time or rearranging your bedroom. stuff like partaking in hobbies while listening to youtube videos in the background may help too.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ why are you shifting ?

is it because you’re searching for something bigger ? maybe you’re looking for friends ? while you probably aren’t going to be able to meet your favorite characters here, you can meet lots of other people & make new connections at anytime. if it’s in person or even if it’s in an online space , i bet there are lots of people in this comment section or any shifting video who would love to be your friend.

defining why you want to shift can do wonders for uncovering more about yourself. 90% of the things people want to shift for are & can be found here & you’re more then worthy of them. just because you want something like love or a sense of belonging doesn’t mean you have to travel the multiverse for it.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ “i want to k!ll myself because i can’t shift.”

while i understand frustration, extremes that result in life altering & ending choices are never good and quite frankly, frightening for a creator to see in their comment sections. most sv!c!des are committed on impulse. we go through so many emotions on the daily & process so much information a day. taking a moment alone to think & break down thought process & long term effects your actions will have is a nice way to come back down to earth.

meditation is also a great tool to calm down. you can even use shifting guided meditations without the actual intention to shift. breath work has also been helpful to me.

i understand these suggestions aren’t long term fixes but if you’re someone who has echoed these words & truly meant it then i cannot recommend therapy & possible taking a break from shifting even more to focus on yourself right here where you are. this may not be the answer you’d like to hear but it’s the one that is possibly needed.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ timing.

there is no specific time frame that you have to shift. both children & adults do hold the capability to shift. if someone tells you, you can’t shift because ___ or that you’ll age out of something its simply not true. things take time & it’s okay if your journey doesn’t look like everyone else’s. there’s no need to stress yourself out. try to enjoy the journey as well as being excited for the outcome. essentially, a large part of the shifting journey is meditation & affirmations which are both beneficial to your mental & physical self. try to sprinkle in some self love affirmations or general positive thoughts too. even if you need to take a step away from shifting & pick it up at a later date, i encourage you to do so if it’s stressing you out or you’re only focusing on shifting or neglecting your life / responsibilities here.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ shadow & trauma work.

answering questions that are meant to make you think & deeply reflect are tools that hi light some issues you may not even realize you’ve had. i have a tumblr post here with some, but for tiktok, ill list some on the next side. these ones are specifically for shifting but i encourage you to venture out to discover some more personal ones to expand upon your answers to these.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

i should also mention, i’m not a therapist so take what i say as non-professional advice & mere suggestions & a starting point to truly expand what shifting has done for you, negatively & positivity. im a huge advocate for therapy & if you feel comfortable enough expand upon these conversations in sessions if you feel comfortable.

i understand my audience is varied in age but i do notice a lot of you are younger then myself. it’s hurts to see people who are so young stress themselves out this much over trying to shift. i really do care about you & want to see all of you happy — with or without shifting.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

#reality shifting #desired reality #shifting #shiftblr #shiftok #shifting motivation #shifting realities #shifter

[stelladess]

On power creep, card games (mostly as an example) and gacha. Also how to prioritize what characters/cards to try and get. Kinda felt the discussion around power creep in the context of gacha is often kind of... incendiary and not very helpful, we are all here to have a good time.

So, this was mostly some stuff I have been thinking about in relation to Arknights, because I do not play Star Rail as seriously and play no other gachas then those two. I have played the yu-gi-oh card game since I was a little kid (some of my earliest memories is learning the game from my brothers or playing Kaiba the revenge on PC) so I am coming at this from a primarily TCG perspective and with the prior background of "has played game which has been made unrecognizable by power creep, and still loved playing it." So obviously, this already predisposes me to not see power creep as the biggest deal.

So... first of all, the incentives that causes power creep! Well this is pretty straightforward, the way a trading card game or a gacha makes money is by making you want to spend money on new cards/characters. You also need to have a solid team or deck as a whole, usually you cannot just brute force your way on a single powerful card or character. As a result to prevent players from just getting one strong team/deck and then never updating again is why we end up with power creep, since the option of just outright banning cards tends to piss people off even more and is straight up not a thing they do in gacha games. As a result, since players will usually not want to spend money/pulls on a character who will not improve their team/deck, especially when its so often chance based what you even get, it means that to make people keep pulling packs you gotta upgrade the power over time of new units. Generally the developers want to keep this at a slower pace, since it feels bad if someone gets a great character/card and then one month later they are weak, and if people feel like what they put in do not pay off they will not keep playing. But occasionally there are bigger bursts of power creep to kind of bring the state of the game to a new level, often brought on by accidentally making something too strong, at least that is how I think this goes from my experience. But for example, if when Typhon came out her damage was worse or just on par with Rosa, how many would have pulled for her? Sure you´d get some who would because they like her story, personality, design, etc. But not that many would have if we are being completely honest here.

This is not to say that power creep cannot be a problem, especially if too severe, as already touched on earlier it feels really bad when your favorites no longer hold up. I just want to highlight that it is an inherent part of the game that cannot really be avoided. It can also add a big pressure to feel like you have to keep up by getting all the new characters or cards, which can cause a lot of stress due to the random nature of who you get. Which is where the other thing I wanted to talk about comes in....

You do not need every strong or limited character. And in fact you wont use most of them because you have finite team space. In a trading card game you focus in on a playstyle you like, or a few if its affordable enough, and then focus on building and enhancing those instead of getting every good card in the game. I think this is the healthiest way to view it in a gacha too. Prioritize who suits your playstyle and your team, or to fill weak spots you got (or you just like as a character of course). You do not need all the top tier characters in the game. You can skip multiple top tier characters in fact and still do just fine, these games are not balanced around the assumption you have *every* single one of the best characters or cards. And in fact, having to slowly make adjustments to better suit your needs is, to me at least, one of the most fun parts. And a lot of the strategy and fun of these kinds of games disappear if you have access to all the strongest options and can just brute force things. It is not healthy for your mental state to fret over having to have all the best options and it makes the game less fun, to me at least. These games assume you only have maybe half of the top tier options, and you can beat pretty much everything with that if you put some effort into strategizing, which is fun~!

#arknights #i think tagging it as arknights is appropriate here at least? #my “gambling preys on people in bad ways” vs how the limitations caused by the randomness adds a fun level of strategy for me opinions clas

[silverydragonheart-blog]

yknow technically cloning works alot like artificial insemination or like fertilization treatments from what ive seen/been told by my mom so by that logic timkon clone baby absolutely couldve been more than one and has a higher chance of being say twins or triplets than not which means in a dcxdp crossover you can absolutely have dan dani and danny and it haunts me that no one else noticed this

Edit please note that I am not a doctor or anything I just had a slight fixation and tried my best to learn what I could which resulted in me knowing more about surrogates, adoption, and fertility treatments than anything else except I was very much a kid and didn't like knowing the full reasons of things so I'd learn enough and then guess the rest so on one hand I absolutely know how one thing works however I have absolutely no fucking idea how it happens its essentially like how we all treat the Talk I took one look at learning the ins and outs of these treatments and went "I know enough" and dropped it so if anythings wrong yeah that's why

#Like i had a fixation after learning my mom needed the treatments cause my parents have 2 different blood types #It was like ab and a but one was neg and the other pos and we have NO idea who got what #Dcxdp #Yall be sleeping on shit #Like is cloning not just fertility treatments but grown in a test tube???? #You start multiple hope one makes it and sometimes they ALL survive or half #Me seeing a timkon clone fic/fanart: i know what you couldve been #I cannot STRESS how often i think about this #Tim expecting maybe one or none to survive: oh no #tim now with like 3 kids: oh my God ive made a mistake #timkon #Tim drake #dc #I want it on record I knew how adoption fertility treatments adoption and actual birth worked #BEFORE I KNEW HOW BABIES WERE MADE #Like I did NOT care for the ins and outs I only cared for the end result #The fact I also knew how sex worked before how babies were made is an outlier and I'm not counting it

[lbhslefttiddie]

youve heard of sex flowers get ready for the flower that makes you into a celestial shoujo herione complete with particle effects you cannot turn the fuck off and creates a wifebeam so powerful it can incapacitate and maim and keeps making you burst into tears and fall on your ass which makes the wifebeam More Powerful and you also cannot turn this off either. and is also still, sort of, a sex flower

from one of my favorite fanfictions, Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam, a fic that defies description in the best possible way

#arts #shen qingqiu #svsss #listen im not saying that ive spent a cumulative half a year reading this fic and then trying to make an arts for it #and then getting frustrated and stopping because i couldn't figure out how to make sqq shimmery enough #but like. im not NOT saying that #this is the FOURTH time ive started something for this bitch it haunts my fucking dreams and yet the opalescent glittery sqq evades me #perhaps you o unlearned fool look at this and say hmm that's too many colour layers and glowy effects but oh how wrong you are #if it doesnt make you literally fall over yourself at how otherworldly and radiant he is then there is room for improvement yet #perhaps you look at this and you think Wow!!! this gives me literally NO ideas what this fic is about #well Let Me Tell You. i have no fucking idea how to summarize this fic #its not often the tags in a fic give me pause but i saw this and as i read the tags i was increasingly just like What #but i have no idea how to describe it. the tags arent NOT accurate but i was SO unprepared for what happened in like an extremely pos way #if i were tagging this i think i would give it the no archive warnings apply label if that matters to you #the author seemed they wanted to leaned towards over caution rather than risk missing anything re tags because This Is A Weird Fic #but oh my fucking god #i am gripping you by the shoulders i cannot stress enough how charming it is #brilliant characterization especially with airplane in the first scene #and also so much fucking funnier than i thought possible for the general setting summary tags and buildup #its just. ough. its good

[essektheylyss]

It is wild to me how many people are like, "hahaha op's speech did nothing," as if I am running and participating in these polls to get validation for my blorbo. If I just wanted to be content with my blorbo, I would absolutely not be tossing him up on a platform to be heckled for a week straight. I would be retreating to some echo chamber Discord server to experience the emotional equivalent of everyone gathering around and petting a puppy.

I literally do not think Essek is going to win this poll! I do not think he is going to win the tournament! I seeded Laerryn number one for a reason! For a number of factors I think it would be very difficult for anyone to beat her! I literally put him and Laerryn on the same side of the bracket so that they would not end up in the final, because I did not think it was going to be an interesting fight! We as a fandom beat "Laerryn could smash any wizard in Exandria without contest" into the ground weeks ago! I considered writing a stump speech just for kicks for every semifinalist, because I like to argue things and I love playing up a ridiculous and meaningless kayfabe!

But like, Laerryn has swept many polls, and it's deeply boring to me if she wins in a landslide. I am a polling nerd, and I can confirm that no one watches landslide races. They are not interesting. And this is fully just for the fun of it, so I am gonna make it interesting.

If there's no challenge, no consideration of how the other side might win, then what the fuck is the point of running a tournament?

In conclusion:

#this is incidentally also why I am campaigning on behalf of veth's big naturals. #it's also why I pushed for oremid hass to take ludinus out in the first round! #I am here for my own amusement and no other reason #like tbh too much opinion in fandom these days that everything is about 'winning' #your ship becoming canon ahead of all the other ships. your fave coming out on top. NO. #fandom is about having fun and making up fictional shit with no stakes for your own amusement. #like this has happened in other places where people get SO vicious when something turns out other than someone was lobbying for #in this weird schadenfreude kind of way #and it's like...... this says more about how seriously those people are taking it than anything else lol #also it's a weird comment to make anyway cuz essek has gained 3 or 4 percent since I posted that lmfao #which was genuinely more than I expected lol #anyway wild anyone thinks I'd be pressed about writing one speech when I write so much goddamn fic regardless of whether people read it #(people often do! which is great and lovely! but there are plenty of things that no one read lol and I still love them) #cannot stress enough that I am HERE FOR FUN.

[nexus-nebulae]

odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets

#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually #we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive #i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth #like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system #so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier #like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON #and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time #we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton #it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes #like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks #but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier #we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it #and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking #side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it #like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great #i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully #and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot #also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao

[manicdragondreamgirl]

Nothing can make a bitch more hateful than a SINGLE hour —the FIRST HOUR OF A DAY—at a job where everyone pretends they can do her job better than she’s been doing it because they read something in the news recently

#it’s the inherent sexism in this industry for one part #for the second part it’s that everyone thinks they’re better than me which is only so true #I’m not better than anyone but I certainly have gotten results #but everyone forgets that the minute an article crosses someone’s feed and they think why aren’t we doing anything about this #newsflash! I actually was already doing stuff about this thing before they even knew about it #I have even mentioned as much! #but no I now have to do more bullshit busywork to appease idiots who think they can do my job because they saw an article #everyone’s got my job title and I’m worthless and do nothing #how silly I am to have forgotten that no matter what I do I have a curse #the curse of everyone constantly getting in my lane #manufacturing management is real game of thrones shit #I am very good at the game but I’m not in a position where I can smack people back often without being considered resistant or difficult #so whatever I’ll do the extra bullshit but everyone’s making me MAD about it #literally cannot stress how irritated I am that I’ve had no joke like six people talk to me about the same thing since yesterday #when the thing was on my radar a month ago and i was already working on it #I fucking loathe people I hate it here I want the swift embrace of death to take me

[skrunksthatwunk]

"hey HEY what do you have in your mouth!!! sit SIT. SPIT IT OUT GIVE IT—" but instead of talking to a dog it's me about my parents using the word overstimulated as nothing but another way to make fun of our anxious traumatized dog for doing things they find inconvenient or unreasonable or illogical (and, by extension, everyone who uses the term for legitimate reasons). (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE I DON'T USE IT AROUND THEM On Purpose BECAUSE I KNOW THEY'D BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

#cannot stress enough that they are ill informed. they do not know what they're talking about and would not accept it if i told them #they're not accomodating to sensory needs and do not fucking know the context of capital o Overstimulation in regards to like. ppl with #sensory difficulties. like. c'mon man. if i told you i was overstimulated you'd tell me it wasn't that bad and i should just sit still and #shut up. but suddenly it's fine when you're making jokes about??? completely unrelated things??? i mean. dogs can probably be #overstimulated. i think everyone can in kind of a general sense. but they act like her getting up from the couch or smth is some frantic #strange action. they're super fucking weird about her actually they'll like. tease(?) her about how needy and pathetic and unloved she is #and how 'traumatized' she is and how that makes her act in ways that bother them in kind of an eye roll-y way which like. #SHE *IS* TRAUMATIZED. WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT SHE HAS REASON TO ACT LIKE THIS #like 'haha she's soooo afraid we'll abandon her she's so ridiculous' what like how she was ditched as a puppy and lived on the streets for #like a year? you don't think that could've affected her at all #fucking psych major bullshit ass. 'formative experiences actually don't affect you lol' go fuck yourself #im not saying you can't tease your pets but they're treating her like her anxiety and even basic affection seeking is some huge burden #when it's absolutely not. they just want to be mean to her because they don't want her to act that way and don't care about how she feels #because they think they know better and she has no immediate reason to feel that way. god i wonder if THAT has any relevance to how they #raised their children. christ on a cracker man what the fuck #how to create an environment where your children feel safe expressing their problems (a goal they supposedly have): #1) not whatever this shit is. what the fuck is wrong with you #look maybe it doesn't sound that bad but it's been going on for years and it's been pissing me off for years. they're so cruel and for what #it's such a double standard. our other (male) dog seeks affection about as often and they don't ever make fun of him for it #and they've gotten more and more entitled about her showing affection. like it's commanded now. it's gross to me okay i don't like it #she's a sweet and kind and loving girl and i don't get why they feel the need to act like her wanting their love is so horrible when they #literally want that from her and scold her when she doesn't do it #this general attitude that ppl are over exaggerating their trauma or their feelings or their needs/wants/boundaries is so pervasive w them #that complete disregard for/invalidation of how others feel if you can't personally relate to or understand it. the mockery and cruelty #they wouldn't do it if she could understand them. i think they just like having that power over smth small that loves them #so *i* have to be like 'ohhh i love u ur so good!! im so happy ur here' to her to balance it and then thats also seen as ridiculous. wtf #skrunks' parents be considerate and introspective to ppl without risk of rejection if unkind & also don't be ableist challenge (impossible) #they will call low/no empathy ppl frightening monsters and then do this shit. empathy is not necessary for kindness and frankly if that's #your only reason to care about the wellbeing of others i think that's worse. bitch IM low empathy. at least i give a shit #im so glad my mom didnt puruse psychology after her bachelor's she woulda hurt so many people. or maybe she'd be better idk. fucks sake

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

Nothing is funnier to me than being incredibly self aware and still acting a fool. Taking an L across the board

#no bc like. i spend a Lot of time thinking. which isn’t a bad thing for me! i enjoy thinking and it does not bring me stress #often times I spend a lot of time thinking before writing these. like meditation to me #though I do find typing out my thoughts creates much more fleshed out thoughts that make sense bc I feel as if someone were to read it #they should be able to understand both the situation and my thought process and any other things which gives me a better view too #anyways I understand myself really good which is great! that wasn’t always the case #unfortunately. this does not mean that I am so smart about what I do and say #bc something will happen. I’ll know how I want to respond in a positive manner. and then I will be so very awkward and I’m like oh girl no #and what’s worse! i can be like. oh that comes from this. hmm. this will happen again #like for example! I cannot tell a person ‘I love you’ I cannot do it #i can only say those words as if they are a science specimen or if it’s like. I’m obviously teasing/flirting with someone to get a reaction #this also extends to if someone tells me they love me just as like a kind appreciative gesture that I’m just like 🧍‍♀️ #like. i will say thank you. and that is all. it is so bad. oh god #no bc I have this coworker who is so nice to me and I swear whenever something goes wrong she just appears and is like I can fix that for u #and she’s also funny so like if she ever asks me for something I’ll go out of my way to make it happen #and whenever I do she’s just like you know I love you! #and I’m over here like 🧍‍♀️ thank you :) #like girl ur one of my favorite people I am so sorry I am like this I will continue to be like this #oh god there was one time I was like what if I say ‘you too’ theoretically I can say that yes? no. it sounded like a squeak #and the entire time I’m just sitting here like oh cool cool here comes my mouth to open and not say what I want it to say #and then be like. ooh. that one hurt to hear. yikes #my family dynamic is not verbally affectionate whatsoever. so that’s like. not something I’ve ever said. also I’m very detached about things #so it’s very out of my usual. i had to teach myself to tell my best friend I loved her. fun fact if I ever see her again it’ll be too soon! #so. watching myself make clown moves on the regular and knowing exactly why. ooh. man it’s hard to watch but I will remain like this #I’m like oh I know it’s coming I know why it’s coming and then it does and I’m like oh boy I did it again why #also like. its nice to be appreciated I will say. i like hearing it. i just need to disappear on the spot for a moment #soup talks #typing this out the entire time also I wanted to show more examples and I definitely ran out of space. here is a very in depth explanation #bc it just occurred not that long ago. shoutout to where I work I like the people a lot #but also I’ll sooner die than be like hey wanna know why I am the way I am i have issues #i started to tell another story and needing only a few tags. hit thirty. ouch

[albedobeheading]

guys I am. So horribly emotionally unwell

#I was having a fine day!! like a lil stressed and whatever!! #but then I try to ask my dad for advice like should I move this date or next month?? #and I say like I don’t know if I have the money for this but also staying here and hearing you and my mom yelling at each other is tough!! #and then he’s obviously not gonna be happy about me saying that bc I’ve deluded myself into thinking that my dad is a different person #than who he actually is and guess what!!! he fuckin makes the point that I need support from roommates but also living with them is #detrimental and says that in a way that he’s starting to get pissed off #like GOD dude!!!! #I feel like!!! my parents should be able to see how often I cry!!! and think huh? yanno maybe we’re contributing to this!! #but they don’t give a shit and I should move out sooner than later because I need to be out of here and that money will return to me at some #some point and eventually everything will be fine for me I just need to work hard and I’ll be living with someone who loves me very soon #because hey!!! right now I’m living with people who love me but are also mean to me!!! #I’m gonna hang out with my boyfriend tomorrow and I just. cannot fucking wait #it’s very possible that I’m incredibly dependent on him but that’s almost certainly just because living with my parents has made me lose #a lot of character development and independence I got from one fucking year of living alone #I’m so mad. #and so sad #ugh. I. I feel sick #I’m gonna cry so much I’ll end up with eye bags tomorrow morning #I just. need everything to work out

[mellowwillowy]

Yan! Lawyer Husband x GN Spouse Reader HCs

CW: mafia related stuffs

—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕

Yan! Husband is a gentle soul to you, he can't and will never lay a finger with the meaning to hurt you! He just doesn't have the strength to do so, almost as though he was set to be so. It's another whole story when it comes to the others though, can you guess how many times he has pulled the trigger of a gun?

Yan! Husband who spoils you rotten with everything you could ever think of. Luxuries, reputations but never the forbodden knowledge he has tried so hard to keep away from you. No, he won't clip your wings. You are his songbird who gets to only fly inside the gilded cage but never in the outside world. He will create a stage of the outside world for you, but never the real deal.

Yan! Husband who paints a portrait of you whenever he's stressed over the cases he has to handle. To move the brush without any problem as your form starts to appear on the blank canvas, he has no trouble remembering you. Sculpting is no problem for him as well. He has spent all his lives honing his artistic skill just to eternalize you as pieces of art.

Yan! Husband loves you so much that he deems children as a burden and bothersome (adoptive too). He only needs you to build a family, he had no need for children to continue this lineage. His whole life revolves around you. If you pass away, he too, will pass away shortly after. That's how much he loves you to the point that death cannot separate you two.

Yan! Husband who might not look like he's able to do it but he is actually an S-rank gaslighter. He will trick you into believing that what he is suggesting is only to keep you safe! He doesn't really enjoy taking your autonomy directly unless it's needed (of course, in a way where you will not confront him about it).

Yan! Husband who will cover and remove all your bad track records (if you have any). He has the power and connection to erase any kind of dirt that is on you, you are his pristine pure lily-of-the-valley and you should not be defiled with those records. Live without any worry clouded in your mind dear, the laws will never tarnish your reputation when you have this lawyer backing you ^^

Yan! Husband who adores any sort of physical touch when it comes to you, yes, anything. Even if you hit him silly, he'd still love every moment your skin feels his. He loves hugging you the most, his face buried into the crook of your neck while taking a scent of you.

Yan! Husband who enjoys humming lullaby of yours to the point everyone's ears around him is bleeding from the repeating lullaby. Can this guy please hum something else for once?

Yan! Husband who will read for you whenever he has the time to sleep with you. He doesn't know what to say to you as his work is either foreign to your brain or a tad too shady. Childhood memories are not great too as he has long forgotten about everything the moment he pledges eternal vow to love you. He abandoned everything and lives only for you.

Yan! Husband who prioritizes you as his number one, even above his own well-being and career. He can still live even if he falls ill, his career would never fall out of track as he has the mafia under his grasp, but you can slip out of his grasp. And he doesn't want that to happen again.

Yan! Husband is without a doubt an infamous lawyer. Especially with how many times he has let the ringleader of that renowned mafia group slip out from the prosecutor and judge's grip? If you seriously think you'll be pronounced guilty of that murder, you better throw that thought out just like how he throws all the scapegoats and falsified evidence into the court. (Should I write a fic for this?)

Yan! Husband who will always make time for the two of you. While vacations are not as often as he wishes he could have, cuddles and tea parties sound nice enough for him to kill time with you.

Yan! Husband who has this cute journal that's filled with what you have been doing every day instead of his own daily stuff. Oh, your diary is almost his if you know how he reads it daily like a refreshment.

Yan! Husband who as much as he hates having to show you to the people at the official parties and events he has to attend, he just can't shake away the butterflies in his stomach as well! You are not just some trophy spouse, you are his beloved! A hand on your waist and a face that is seen whispering sweet nothings into your ear with a glass in his other hand. Oh, he looks so o-godly-handsome like a man who comes out from a romance novel!

Yan! Husband who is a man of greed, the embodiment of Mammon. Wealth is not something that he has never not possessed. So whatever the fuck you do, gambling or blowing it off somewhere in a dumb investment or stock, he won't make a fuss out of it. Instead, he'll teach you more about money management instead :/

"Do you want to learn how to invest? I know a way or two from my predecessor."

He will let you play all the money game you want and gives you the illusion of success despite all the trials and errors you made (he's the one who clean up all the mess lol)

I know that this is AFAB! oriented BUT Yan! Husband never wishes to impregnate you even once. No, he doesn't like the idea of you being in pain over a damn baby(ies) that could just take your life as well. He does enjoy fucking you without any protection on but that is after he tracks your safe day (man is literally fighting the fate of having you pregnant). He prefers you to not consume any birth control for just in case it causes harm rather than good to you. (Shots are a pass if you are scared of syringes)

He is A-OK with adopting if you are persistent enough about this matter and is B-OK if you want to get pregnant (AFAB). He just can't refuse and upset you...

So please don't imagine what would happen if darling dies during delivery :)

Yan! Husband who will always open his pocketwatch and kiss the picture of you in his pocket watch. How many times and lives had passed just for him to enjoy the solace of being your husband?

𝐀 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫.

Yulian de Alpheus is a man of ambition. While he does share the same look as his 'father', the ambition he has is the complete opposite of Castiel. Castiel created him to seek the truth of life, Adam existed to be the Genesis of Life, Alan existed to be someone he didn't recognize and Yulian existed to live beneath the shadow of his spouse.

𝐘𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Taglist: @vinivave @destructa1 @szde8-blog @luminous011 @ush0 @annbourbon @randomnl @cassanderasblog @maam-appreciator @lem-hhn @fanatic-fan @flesh-eating-ladybug

(send ask/message to be removed from taglist)

#yandere male #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #yandere imagines #male yandere #yandere insert #yandere oc #yandere headcanons #yandere works #yandere writing #reader insert #x reader #oc #x gn reader #LIfE Project #yandere husband #Yulian the Corruption

[headspace-hotel]

Problems like climate change, where solving them requires millions of people to collectively work at hundreds of different solutions at once, are black holes for internal peacefulness because they give you a type of frustration where you alternately become bitter towards yourself or everyone around you. "If only I could work harder to fix the problem!" makes you exhausted, so you must become angry at others: "If only they cared about the problem!"

People who are already working on fixing climate change need to convince more people to work on it. And a popular thing is to share writings that describe how doomed we all are if climate change is not fixed, how terrible everything will be because of climate change, and how quickly all the treasures of our world are being lost.

There is a particular understanding of human behavior that is being accepted here without thinking about it hard enough. Popular news media shows headlines with terrible prophecies, written that way in hopes of getting the attention of otherwise disinterested people, who will then be "motivated" to fix climate change.

The trouble is that fear is no good for motivating thoughtful, patient, steady commitment to solving a problem. Fear is made to cause an organism to avoid things that might harm it. It creates a brief and explosive pulse of action where the organism's energy pours out as it instinctively, thoughtlessly reacts to escape the danger as fast as possible.

It's silly to blame people for avoiding thinking about climate change. The point of an organism responding to stressors is to avoid them. Oftentimes, the only tool people are presented with is personal choices about what products to buy, which inevitably is horribly frustrating and stressful, since a person will frequently be coerced by their situation into buying a certain product, and even if they don't they see others doing it all the time.

Relentless exposure to imminent threats that cannot be escaped causes Trauma, which severely impacts a person's ability to be resilient to stressors.

I think there is definitely a type of trauma associated with being constantly aware of the destruction of the environment and feeling helpless to do anything about it, especially since we as humans have a deep need for contact with other living things and aspects of the natural world, such as trees, water, flowers, and animals—a need that is often totally denied and treated as merely a Want or a hobby meant only for certain people who enjoy particular activities, like Hiking or Gardening.

We need to expand our minds on how this disconnection can hurt a human being. Imagine if a child's need to be loved by their caregivers, a person's need to be loved by their friends and family, was treated as a desire for indulgence or luxury, or a certain use of free time!

Yes, yes, one person has a condition that makes it hard to walk up hills, another doesn't like the bright sunshine, another is allergic to the grass or fungal components of the outdoor world, but WE ARE PART OF THE FAMILY OF ALL LIFE ON EARTH and WE EXIST IN SYMBIOSIS WITH THE ENVIRONMENT WHICH TAKES CARE OF US. Who showed you what beauty was, who taught you to feel peace and relief inside you in the form of a caressing breeze and rustle of leaves, who gave you awe and wonder at seeing the stars or the mountains? Where does every delicious food come from but the soil teeming with creatures? Isn't the most perfectly sweet berry grown from a plant, nurtured by the soil and pollinated by the bugs? Don't you feel delight at seeing a springy carpet of moss, a little mushroom, or a tiny bird? Think of all that the trees give us. Whose breath do you breathe? Whose body frames your home?

The writings of Indigenous writers such as the book by Mary Siisip Genuisz I am reading right now show me that the other life forms are our family. They take care of us and provide for us, and they would miss us if our species disappeared. Isn't that a powerful, healing fact? I think everybody is so enthusiastic about the book Braiding Sweetgrass because it is a worldview that those of us coming from the dominant colonizer culture are straight up ravenous, starving to death for.

Maybe, I think to myself, humans can experience a kind of trauma from being deprived a relationship with their Earth, just as they would experience trauma from being deprived relationships with other humans.

I really believe that it hurts us to be surrounded by concrete instead of soil, to see a majestic tree cut down on a whim without any justice possible, to see wild animals mostly in the form of mangled corpses on the roadside, to have poison sprayed everywhere to kill the insects that life depends on, to hear traffic and lawn mowers and weed whackers instead of birds and flowing water.

We KNOW that this is physically bad for our health, the stifling, polluted, and stressful environments of a civilization that doesn't know the ways of the plants, but I think it's a kind of moral injury too, right? To see a beautiful field turned into a housing development of ugly, big, expensive houses—no thought given to the butterflies and sparrows and quail of the field? To see a big old tree cut down, a pond full of frogs obliterated and turned into a drainage ditch beside a gas station? They aren't just things, they are lives, and while expansion and profit and progress are "necessary," a nice old field of wildflowers or a pond full of frogs are a different kind of necessary. I remember feeling this as a child without words for it—the sheer cruelty of a world that is totally without reverence for the other creatures.

"They own the property, they can cut down the tree" "They bought the land, they can do what they want with it" <but it can also be wrong, and many people know this on some level, even though our culture doesn't provide us with the framework.

Fear could never give people the motivation to fix climate change. Constant fear of what will happen in the future forces a person to protect themselves from the relentless stress by shutting it out entirely or developing apathy.

A fear based argument for fixing climate change either causes a worldview of nature with no bond of kinship at all, based on the physical and practical dependence on Nature as a "resource," or forces people to experience their kinship with Nature only through grief.

Fear tells us that we want to live—it does not tell us WHY to live. If a person tries to live on fear alone, they will eventually find the desire to live burdensome and painful in itself. I see this emerging on a society wide scale in the USA, feeding on influences from the Christian evangelicalism that sees the Earth as something already sullied and worthless, to be thrown away like a dirty tissue, and on the looming monolith of nuclear winter that gave our parents recurring nightmares as children.

If you go to r/collapse on Reddit (don't do that) you will see a whole community of people who cope with the threat of climate change by fantasizing about it, imagining it as a collective punishment for all humanity and a cathartic release from the present painful situation.

We cannot learn to live without seeing the reason for living. We cannot save the Earth without loving it. We cannot heal nature without caring for it. In order to collectively take action against climate change, we must be moved by something other than fear—and that something is love. Not just love of the outdoors as an activity, but love of the Earth as something that loves us.

The dominant Western culture cannot borrow Indigenous land stewardship techniques as though they are just one climate resilience strategy, without being also willing to change its dreadfully impoverished way of viewing human relationships with Nature.

What right have we to think, "Huh, maybe those guys were on to something with the multi-level polyculture systems and controlled burns" while still thinking humans are nothing but a disease on the Earth, and that Earth would be happy to be rid of us? The sustainable ways of using the land practiced traditionally by cultures who have lived in relationship with their ecosystems for many generations work because humans can exist in mutualistic symbiosis with the life forms around them. We care for them. They care for us.

I know for a fact that plants seek relationships with us, and I was taught by them to see how interconnected everything really is, and how I was made to be a caretaker of my ecosystem. I was, a few years ago, just as I describe above. Too scared and pessimistic about the future of nature to bother loving it, and because of this, I could not realize my niche in the ecosystem. It felt for many years like I could do nothing—i believed in climate change, but I felt hopeless, so I put it out of my mind. But when I began to cultivate a love and reverence for the sad, scraggly, beaten-down fragments of Nature around me, everything changed. So much became possible.

I am still learning and exploring, trying to open my mind to ideas totally different than the ones I knew growing up, paying close attention to every plant and learning its ways. And it stuns me to think—some people write about climate change without this process.

The author of the book "The Uninhabitable Earth" (a scary book about how doomed the Earth is because of climate change) says in the beginning of the book that he is not very much of a nature lover. You fool, love is our most powerful evolutionary adaptation!

#climate change #the ways of the plants #plants #nature #environment #symbiosis

[hanggarae]

WAYS WE CAN HELP PALESTINE:

as of 9am today, 8131 palestinians were killed, 20438 are injured and 1.4 million have been displaced. it’s important for all of us to help palestine in as many ways as we can.

i also cannot stress how much just spreading awareness in general can help. staying silent because of your discomfort is not an excuse to sit by while a genocide takes place. when we learn about these events in history we often think “how was this allowed to happen?” but that’s exactly what’s happening now and it’s our responsibility to not sit by and let an entire country be wiped out. i will continue adding more ways to help to this post and i’d really appreciate it if anyone can spread this as much as possible.

it’s important to get educated on everything going on in palestine right now, here are some sources that could help!

decolonize palestine - made by two palestinians, answers a lot of questions regarding everything right now (including debunking a lot of myths from biased news stations) and provides a lot of historical context.

list of documentaries to watch if you want to gain further knowledge

list of accounts to follow on twitter that can also provide information

linktree with information

you can also donate to organisations! even if you can’t donate tons of money, you can help by spreading these links so others can also try to donate!

red crescent

PCRF

MAP

doctors w/o borders

palestinian social fund

palestinian in pain launch good

this website is free and uses ad revenue for donations, all you need to do is click it once daily!

some more places you can donate to and some more

boycotting will also help!! also some of the kpop idols we stan have brand deals with ones that support 🇮🇱 so please let’s not interact with their posts with those brands

list from BDS of companies to boycott

signing petitions!

write to representatives and demand they retract their support of 🇮🇱

ways to contact local governments about helping palestine

if you’re in the uk here’s a link to contact your local MP

change org ceasefire petition

Text "CEASEFIRE" to 51905 if you live in America. The link provided leads you to a page to sign and call for a ceasefire once the goal is met. They are so close to meeting its goal!!

here's a link that lets you send a letter directly to your state representatives

here are some threads that will also give you ways to help.

thread of things we can do to help palestine

HOW TO HELP PALESTINE!! resources and links to other threads on how to donate and spread awareness of what's happening in palestine currently!!! a thread 🧵

here’s what we know, and links to donate to help aid palestinians, a thread:

Here is a list of list of resources and people you can follow to educate yourself on what’s going on in Palestine RIGHT NOW🇵🇸

Ways US, Canada, and UK residents can reach out to their state representatives and MPs to call for ceasefire in Gaza:

if there are any more sources that you would like me to add pls send me an ask or dm me !!

#free palestine #palestine resources #ways to help palestine #resources #palestine #seventeen #bts #nct #exo #twice #blackpink

[sy-on-boy]

Real talk: the fact that Anya expects to read Demetrius’ mind but sees nothing is kind of sad because Demetrius saw his 6yo brother approach and congratulate him, and had zero thoughts in his brain. But that doesn’t mean Demetrius doesn’t care about him. When Damian stutters, Demetrius initiates conversation by talking about Damian’s grades, showing that he indeed pays attention.

Demetrius seems almost resentful by Damian’s insistence to impress Donovan, giving out a snarky, passive aggressive, teen appropriate response: “How would I know? It’s not as if I’m in regular contact with him.” This is like the passive aggressive version of whatever is going on with Melinda. Damian is a relatively innocent 6yo kid seeking his father’s approval, but both his mother and his brother appear to be seriously affected (in a bad way) by Donovan, and they avoid talking about Donovan even as Damian repeatedly mentions him. Demetrius doesn’t understand Damian’s desire for their father’s approval. He also doesn’t understand his father, hinting at some sort of disconnect between them.

What also saddens me a bit is how Demetrius barely acknowledged Damian’s friends talking to him. Like, they’re six year old kids trying to make a good impression. Still, Demetrius didn’t completely ignore them, just gave a meaningless “oh” and decided to stop thinking about people. It’s very much giving “stressed (and depressed) to the point of apathy”. When facing the innocence (ignorance?) and optimism of 6yo kids, Demetrius doesn’t understand. (And maybe he doesn’t understand friendship, which is what Damian has?)

I mentioned before that characters Anya met are probably “good” characters on the side of Forgers or at least are sympathetic to readers. Because if Anya met a “bad” character and read their mind, she would be too OP and the plot could be quickly solved. It’s like how we all thought Melinda was suspicious when she met Yor, but then Anya met Melinda and read her mind to reveal that she cares about Damian (even if it’s in a twisted way). Demetrius is interesting because he subverts what I said above by thinking very little, so Anya cannot really read him. But so far, I think his portrayal is that of a typical middle schooler with middle school angst, and he cares about Damian even if he has zero thoughts on his brain (and doesn’t like the way Damian craves fatherly approval). He is still a child and presumably a victim of his father’s parenting.

The framing is also interesting. Damian telling his friends to go on without him while he waits for Demetrius. The panel of Demetrius towering over a stuttering Damian. Demetrius going away, showing a panel of him as a small figure in an otherwise blank background. That panel when Anya thinks Damian’s relatives are weird has her looking at Damian while he’s some distance away from her (and the rest of his friends). The brothers feel disconnected. Damian is both eager and nervous to talk to Demetrius. Demetrius is nonchalant and apathetic, but not impolite or outwardly wholly dismissive.

Given Damian’s wacky family situation, I’m glad he has friends at Eden. Ewen and Emile of course are steadfast and loyal companions, always eager to back up their beloved boss man. Anya can read his mind and she knows about his insecurities (and also his weird family).

Becky is also good as a friend because she doesn’t care about sucking up to Damian, she often calls him out, but she also supports Damian when he deserves it. A sweet scene here is Damian saying he’s a Desmond so he’s expected to get a star, and Becky adding “it’s still a great achievement. Congrats!”. Becky is validating his success and telling Damian it’s okay to be proud and happy for himself. Even though she’s usually judgemental towards Damian, she’s still kind to him because that’s who she is as a character.

In the end, Damian still wants his father’s attention. He had no idea Demetrius wasn’t that close to their father… I would assume Demetrius spent most of his time at Eden and this is Damian’s first year at Eden, so he actually gets to interact with his brother instead of hearing things about him?

So far, Demetrius seems like a very jaded character in contrast to Damian who feels like a beam of sunshine now. He’s the heir so he’s got more troubles. But it’s nice that he’s finally debuted and no longer in mystery. Can’t wait to see what Endo has in store for him :)

#spy x family #this got so long?? #damian desmond #demetrius desmond #becky blackbell #yeah im tagging them #uh #spy x family spoilers #long post #meta #sxf analysis

[harmoonix]

Stars Waterfall

°Short Astrology Observations°

✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶

🌃 - Scorpio Ascendant in your Venus persona chart makes people to envy your beauty, or to be obsessed/manipulative with you

🌃 - Taurus Mercury/Mercury in the 4th house can have the most cutest voice ever, their voice can be light and soft and also very cute (for both genders, men with these placements are 10000/10 omg)

🌃 - Aquarius Risings with their trendsetter style, they inspire a lot of people, their mindset/clothes/personality Inspire people, and they have a really great influence in the society

🌃 - Mercury square/opposite Moon can be prone to sharing secrets/gossip/ and talking bad behind others back, they can aslo be the type of person who's always talking about someone

🌃 - How can people with Sun in the 12th house be so magnetic?? They're always surrounded with mystery and striking beauty, they pull you towards them without realizing

🌃 - Jupiter/Sagittarius in the 11th house are so good at manifesting things, and they have luck for this aswell, they're full of desires

🌃 - If you are attracted by men and you have Jupiter in Libra/Jupiter in the 7th house, you may want your partner to be romantic. I cannot imagine these natives not getting in relationships with non - romantic people

🌃 - Chiron in the 9th/12th house can be religiously wounded, they can often believe that "God" abandoned them or that he doesn't love them etc..

🌃 - Chiron in the 12th house can heal with sleep, like sleeping is the best method to do when you're hurt because while you sleep your body tries to heal so just sleep or idk transform into the sleeping beauty but don't let the prince to wake up...

🌃 - Saturn in the 4th house/Saturn in Cancer can have an very nurturing yet hurt soul, like they have this nurturing/healing/soft energy but also some of pain/sadness/nostalgic in them

🌃 - Gemini Rising natives can often look younger than they actually are, so people can mistake their age a lot like for example you're 19 and people think you're 16/17 because you look younger than that

🌃 - Leo Sun/Moon/Rising like to be everyone's favorite, they're cute but they can get so jealous if someone dear spends time with someone else rather than them...

🌃 - Pisces Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus are very clingy people, if they are not clingy it's probably because they're either very shy or introvert to be clingy

🌃 - Pisces Midheaven or MC in Pisces Degrees 12°, 24° can find themselves being attracted to multiple things at once, especially in their career/job, one moment they can like art, the next moment they may like acting/singing etc..

🌃 - Pluto conjunct/trine/sextile Mercury are very revengeful in words, when they hurt they can say things they may regret but omg, their words have a very big impact on others

🌃 - Pluto aspecting the ascendant can have that rbf (resting bitch face), to show when they're irritated, angry, overwhelmed...

🌃 - If your Dad has any earth placements especially an Earth Moon/Earth Saturn they may like country music, or just that type of old music that people listen in the old times

🌃 - Ascendant at 4°. 16°, 28° degrees > gosh I just know these natives have really beautiful eyes, they look very feminine, no matter the gender, they're gracious

🌃 - Jupiter in the 9th house can end up to travel the world around with their partners? Maybe they can end up like those couples on YouTube who travel around the world with their van or something

🌃 - Moon in the 8th house people don't fw with people who seem suspicious at first, they're very picky at people and don't like to share their time with people who seem "bad"

🌃 - Uranus in your 4th house > This placement can manifesting as you have so many ideas about your home and you don't know how to put all of them in work. It may be a bit stressing for you to decorate your house because you have too many ideas

🌃 - Mercury in the 11th house > They have the most funniest conversations ever, these natives can connect so easily with other people

🌃 - Earth Moon/Venus may enjoy traditional music. Especially if you have it placed in your 4th house, they love culture/traditions and things that remind them of their home

🌃 - Pluto in your 1st/11th house > You can get envy just because of being yourself, you have a very powerful presence in other people's lives

🌃 - Mars in 1st/2nd/10th house can have a very gorgeous body. Especially if they work on their bodies. It ends up with good results

✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶

🌃 - I love making spiritual posts because they are giving such a good vibe, its always this comforting energy coming in!🌃

🌃 Hope you all have a good day full of blessings to everyone reading my notes 🌃

- H a r m o o n i x

#astrology #astro observations #birth chart #astrology observations #fyp2023 #astro notes #placements #astro community #horoscope #ascendant #venus #fyp #astro

[writingwithcolor]

Not all Second-Language Speakers are Made Equal.

@waltzshouldbewriting asked:

Hello! I’m writing a story that features a character who’s first language is not English. He’s East African, specifically from Nairobi, Kenya, and is pretty fluent in English but it’s not his primary language, and he grew up speaking Swahili first. I’m struggling to figure out if it’s appropriate or in character to show him forgetting English words or grammar. From what I’ve researched, English is commonly spoken in Nairobi, but it wouldn’t be what was most spoken in his home. For context, this is an action/superhero type story, so he (and other characters) are often getting tired, stressed, and emotional. He also speaks more than two languages, so it makes sense to me that it would be easier to get confused, especially in a language that wasn’t his first. But I’m worried about ending up into stereotypes or tropes. For additional context: I’m monolingual, I’ve tried to learn a second language and it’s hard. A lot of how I’m approaching this comes from my own challenges correctly speaking my own, first and only language.

Diversity in Second-Language English

You seem to have an underlying assumption that second language acquisition happens the same for everyone. 

The way your character speaks English depends on so many unknown factors: 

Where does your story take place? You mention other characters; are they also Kenyan, or are they all from different countries?

Assuming the setting is not Kenya, is English the dominant language of your setting? 

How long has your character lived in Kenya vs. where he is now? 

What are his parents’ occupations? 

What level of schooling did he reach in Nairobi before emigrating? 

What type of school(s) did he go to, public or private? Private is more likely than you think. 

Did his schooling follow the national curriculum structure or a British one? Depends on school type and time period. 

Does he have familiarity with Kenyan English, or only the British English taught in school? 

Is this a contemporary setting with internet and social media?

I bring up this list not with the expectation that you should have had all of this in your ask, but to show you that second language acquisition of English, postcolonial global English acquisition in particular, is complex. 

My wording is also intentional: the way your character speaks English. To me, exploring how his background affects what his English specifically looks like is far more culturally interesting to me than deciding whether it makes him Good or Bad at the language. 

L2 Acquisition and Fluency

But let’s talk about fluency anyway: how expressive the individual is in this language, and adherence to fundamental structural rules of the language.

Fun fact: Japanese is my first language. The language I’m more fluent in today? English. Don’t assume that an ESL individual will be less fluent in English compared to their L1 counterparts on the basis that 1) it’s their second language, or 2) they don’t speak English at home. 

There’s even a word for this—circumstantial bilingualism, where a second language is acquired by necessity due to an individual’s environment. The mechanisms of learning and outcomes are completely different. 

You said you tried learning a second language and it was hard. You cannot compare circumstantial bilingualism to a monolingual speaker’s attempts to electively learn a second language. 

Motivations?

I understand that your motivation for giving this character difficulties with English is your own personal experience. However, there are completely different social factors at play.

The judgments made towards a native speaker forgetting words or using grammar differently are rooted in ableism and classism (that the speaker must be poor, uneducated, or unintelligent). That alone is a hefty subject to cover. And I trust you to be able to cover that!

But on top of that, for a second language speaker, it’s racism and xenophobia, which often lend themselves to their own ableist or classist assumptions (that those of the speaker’s race/ethnicity must be collectively unintelligent, that they are uneducated or low class due to the occupations where they could find work, or conversely that they are snobby and isolationist and can't be bothered to learn a new language). Intersections, intersections.

If you want to explore your experiences in your writing, give a monolingual English speaker in your cast a learning disability or some other difficulty learning language, whatever you most relate with. And sure, multilingual folks can occasionally forget words like anyone else does, or think of a word in one language and take a second to come up with it in the other language. But do not assume that multilinguals, immigrants, or multiethnic individuals inherently struggle with English or with multiple languages just because you do.

~ Rina

#asks #accents #speech #language #languages #bilingual #bilingualism #ESL #immigration #east africa #african #writeblr