#I don’t normally like using afab to describe people but it was the best way to get my point across | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clumsyraccoon · 5 months

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OK, here it is...

Kusakabe Atsuya (JuJutsu Kaisen) x AFAB!reader

Reader is afab but I tried to keep anything else as gender neutral as possible, so description of body should be ambiguous. "pussy", "cunt" and "clit" used to describe genitalia. No pronouns used.

Adding details: reader is a foreigner sorcerer, mentions of previous make out session (I said it was self indulgent… >.>”), mentions of alcohol

Smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, THANK YOU): fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex

Words: 2630

[I swear to the gods I don't know what (or who) possessed me while writing this O_O It's honestly my first time ever finishing a smut piece, so if you have comments and/or constructive criticisms, as always I will be more than welcome to hear them! ^^]

[Ah, yes, not beta read, minor edit just to not post a complete mess XD]

The now empty boxes of your take-out are set aside in a corner of the table, to make room for all the preparatory paperwork for the mission. Forms, applications, and all the paperwork required: you also had to learn all the bureaucratic minutiae in order to become a full-fledged sorcerer. You flanked several professional sorcerers since you arrived at Tokyo JuJutsu High, to better understand all the various processes and to see how every individual had their way of doing the work, and for the mission at hand it was Kusakabe-san turn.

After the end of class for that day, you both opted go to the home of one of the two: as much as JuJutsu High provided rooms and offices for their personnel, the both of you wanted somewhere more cosy and relaxed, as winter was fast approaching and being in the office when it was already so dark outside spoiled the mood of the man paired with you.

In that first year in Japan, you had the chance to meet a variety of exceptional and extravagant people that left you almost without breath sometimes, first above anyone else the person that scouted you: Gojo Satoru. But Kusakabe was somehow...different. He was indeed a powerful and skilled sorcerer, a Grade 1 nonetheless, but his demeanor was so in contrast with people like Gojo or Mei-Mei that he seemed almost...normal. And that was kind of a relief, especially for a foreigner that has been oblivious about the jujutsu society for most of their life. He was a good teacher and when he came to you, he used the same patience and tranquility in explaining things: just as he didn't treat any of his students as stupid (maybe apart from the occasional times when they drove him nuts), he never made you feel inferior, putting you at the same level of every other sorcerer and explaining things calmly and clearly.

“Now, we begin with filling the Prearranged Team Management Form.” his low voice takes you out of your own thoughts, bringing you back to the delightfully bureaucratic filled present. He slides a blank folder under your nose, pointing with his finger the protocol number. “It serves to organise who will be in the team and leave a track of which exact people will be at which exact location. Obviously 99% of the time it is filled out after the mission is over, due to the lack of advance notice...but I have to teach you properly, so here it is.”

As much as he hates missions, he is a very thorough individual. Every paper is neatly placed in front of you, a small semi-transparent differently coloured post-it at the corner of every folder, a way to categorise them depending on their function and who they should be delivered to in the office. You nod, trying to memorise number and use of said form, while Kusakabe lends you a pen. “Experience is the best teacher – he says, a small grin appearing on his lips – so I’ll let you do the honor” Another nod from you, while you put all the concentration you’re capable of into filling the form out. He snorts at your face, a smile tugging at he corners of his lips “Don’t worry, you’re not under exam.”

---

A couple of hours later and the atmosphere is far more relaxed, thanks to the majority of the papers being taken care of...and also to the couple of bottles of red wine you had brought from your country.

“There - you say, stretching and lying on the floor, since sitting on a chabudai for too long was something your body was still not that used to – should be the last one, right?” The wine in your system is not that much, you would not call yourself drunk right now, but it leaves a pleasant buzz throughout your whole body, your senses slightly enhanced by the alcohol. There’s also a pleasant warmth that radiates form you and, even if you’re wearing just a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, you feel it slowly increasing. Turning your head towards him, you take the chance to glance at Kusakabe while he’s still preoccupied with checking papers: your gaze start from the hand on the floor he’s putting his weight on, then slowly trails up his hairy forearm (when did he took of his suit jacket and rolled his sleeves up?!?), the slightly unbuttoned shirt, revealing just a hint of his also hairy chest…

“Yep, everything seems fine to me”

...his neck and jaw, idly moving whenever he turned his lollipop around in his mouth...(his neck and jaw that you explored oh so well in an half-drunk yet very aroused state after Ieiri’s birthday party...)

“Y/N?”

You snap out of your trance and meet his questioning gaze, the warmth inside of you making a sudden surge. But, somehow, you don’t feel embarrassed nor guilty. You never felt like that with him, always making you feel at ease, as if he was something solid, something certain that brings stability in the frenzy of life.

“Yes?”

“Are you drunk?”

A heartfelt laugh escapes your lips, while you pat the futon at your side, inviting him to join you on the floor. “No, just happy we finally finished all the boring stuff.” you answer, while he lies on his side near you, propped up on one elbow, hand supporting his head. You look up at him, trying to ignore the warmth that heavily radiates from his body as well.

“Thank you, Kusakabe-san” you murmur.

“Ah, I’ve already told you – he retorts, a small grimace on his features, while he takes the stick of his now finished lollipop out of his mouth – you can call me Atsuya.”

“Well, then... thank you, Atsuya.”

The way you say his given name is not even consciously intended, but it slips out of your lips nonetheless, taking down the raising heat by a couple degrees...but not in an unpleasant manner. Your own voice send a shiver down your spine, the way you said his name probably giving away way more than you had intended to, and you search his gaze, to see and assess how much damage you have done. His brown eyes are instantly locked into yours, a flick of hesitation already fleeting away to give space to...to… You don’t know how to describe what you see, you just feel the warmth of his body raising again and his already wide pupils taking over his irises completely, two dark pools you’re sure you’ll drown into, if you’re not careful. He doesn’t say anything, just exhales a tad too loudly than normal, while still not breaking eye-contact with you. His free hand slowly reaches for you and you don’t notice, still too enthralled by the soft, welcoming abyss of his eyes, until his fingertips brush against the exposed skin between your t-shirt and jeans, fingertips so hot they threaten to burn holes into your flesh, so hot they send another, more powerful this time, shiver up you spine. It’s your time now to exhale loudly, anticipation already making you squirm under his touch.

“Atsuya”

His name rolls out of your tongue another time, more shyly yet more pleading, a whisper that becomes a prayer on his ears and in his heart. How can he deny you, resist you anymore when you say his name oh so nicely? How can he find the strength to stop the both of you once again when you’re here, on his futon, looking up at him with that gaze, calling his name with that tone? How can he withdraw from your warmth? How can he suppress all that turmoil you cause in his heart every damn time he sees you?

He, simply, can’t.

So, finally, instead of fighting back what he now knows to be unbeatable, he surrender. He surrender himself to your smile that goes with your every “Good morning!”, he surrender himself to electricity that surges every time your hands brush by accident, he surrender himself to the optimism you sport every time you go on a mission together. He surrender himself to you, completely and undeniably.

The fingertips on your skin become a palm, sneaking under the hem of your t-shirt and gently caressing what’s underneath it. Your answer wants to be a soft gasp, but there’s no time for it to form before his lips descend on yours. The kiss is so sweet it is almost chaste, that first contact delivering all the feelings the both of you have tried to store away in the depths of your hearts, finally revealing what you have always been afraid to say. It feels liberating to finally let go, and you feel Kusakabe’s muscles relax in sync with yours, months of pining quickly dissolving from your bodies and souls.

One of your hand finds its way to his hair and gently tugs at it, with the result of making him part his lips and moan into your mouth, giving you the chance to deepen the kiss. The flavour of his lollipop floods your taste buds and you devour each other, almost like teenagers at their first shot at kissing, and your body already ask, no scream for so much more that you try to turn on your side to have a better position, but Kusakabe’s hand keeps you firmly in place. He pulls away just enough to look at you “Please, let me…” he murmurs against your lips. And in his tone there’s a plea that sink right into your heart and turns it into jelly. Replying with a nod you let yourself relax again on the futon, while his hand lifts your shirt all the way up, leaving your flushed chest exposed to him. He takes a moment to feel your erratic beating heart, palm pressed right in the middle of your chest, before resuming his exploration of your skin.

Despite the callousness of his hands, his touch is gentle, almost feather-like. Fingertips lightly brush against your skin, trailing around your nipples, but never touching them, down towards your navel, to your hips, up your sides. No haste nor hurry, but taking their damn time into exploring every inch of you, as if they were explorers into territory unknown to mankind up until now. They then skim just above the hem of your jeans, goosebumps now covering the entirety of your body, while his mouth descends to leave warm kisses on your chest. They are almost shy at first, sealed lips barely touching your skin, but as soon as your hand find its place in his hair again, they become more bold, tongue poking out to wet the path.

It takes a few minutes of kisses placed with utter adoration all over your exposed body, before Kusakabe muster the courage to latch on one of your nipples. And when he does, you start to sing. A moan finally fall freely from your parted lips, your body arching into his touch, craving him not only there, but everywhere on your burning body. Your free hand joins the other and entangles itself in his brown locks, instinctively squeezing every time you feel his teeth grazing against your sensitive flesh and receiving a pleased grunt from him in exchange.

There’s a trickle of saliva connecting your nipple to his tongue when he parts from you, and you look at it glimmering in the room’s light, almost enraptured by the vision, before your attention is diverted from it by the man’s hand. Slowly, he’s unbuttoning your jeans, his gaze fixated on you and, as you reciprocate his look, the thought that crosses your mind is that he’s insanely handsome. A blush covers the majority of his face and the tips of his ears, his hair is ruffled by all of your toying, and in his eyes you can see the real feeling he always nurtured for you.

Warm fingers slip past the waistband of your panties and push the clothes down enough your tights to leave your core exposed, the sudden chill air against you heated skin sending a shiver up your spine. Cupping his face with your hands, you kiss Kusakabe deeply, pulling him closer to you, while his fingers start to roam your tight like they previously did on your chest. Your focus shifts from his mouth to his neck (god how you missed it) and you unbutton his shirt, trying to spur him, but his touches are painstakingly slow, fingers too far away from where you wanted them most. Undaunted, you continue your attack, tongue tracing pathways of pleasure into his skin, teeth scarping and sinking, lips comforting and eliciting.

Circles are drawn on the canvas of your skin, smaller and smaller, until he finally reaches your cunt and you start to loose track of time, his fingers teasing your folds but never entering, caresses on your clit that never turns into that something more enough for you to finally cum. Squirming and whimpering through the sweet anguish he persists in doing, yet you hear the first signs of capitulations in his own grunts and moans.

Yet he persists.

Your breaths are hot and short against each other, the temperature of both your bodies so high now you might have a fever. Your face nuzzle in the crook of his neck, his ministration starting to make you see stars in your vision, while you desperately cling to his now exposed chest, hair soft under your touch.

“A-atsuya...p-pleeease…”

Deft fingers continue to caress your sex, eliciting a new series of moans and cries out of your mouth, his tongue trailing from your ear down your neck, leaving the skin burning in its wake. And you know that, if he continues to torture you like that, it’s no long before you come undone under him. So, with the last remnants of your will, the leg trapped in between his tries to grind against his hard, still clothed, cock, while one of your hand tries to get a hold of his forearm, in a futile attempt to slow him down or hurry him up, you’re not even sure of what you want to do anymore. You just now that you will not resist a second more.

As if he reads your mind, Kusakabe finally finally push a finger past your folds and inside your aching pussy, your lewd cry of pleasure making his dick throb in his pants. There’s no need for a second digit, as your orgasm hits you suddenly and violently, leaving you shaking so bad you cling to him for dear life.

You stay like that for a couple of minutes, but as soon as the shivers start to subside, you look up at him “Need you...inside...pl-please…” is all you manage to say in between your broken breaths. A soft kiss on your temple “Are you sure?”

Just a nod from you and he’s unbuckling his pants, letting his cock finally free. Impatient hands pull him closer and he’s already lined up to your entrance and ready, but he takes his time to smile down and then softly kiss you, before entering in one go in your wet hole. It’s your turn now to moan into his mouth, while he hooks your legs over his arms, a mating press the best way to deal with all the too many clothes you two still wear.

It doesn’t take long for the both of you to reach your peaks, pent-up as you are, moans and cries being swallowed into hungry kisses, bodies trembling in unison. And as your breath slowly come back to normal and you both descend from your high, the way Kusakabe embraces you tells you everything you wanted to hear from him.

#JuJutsu Kaisen #Kusakabe Atsuya #JuJutsu Kaisen x reader #Kusakabe Atsuya x reader #x reader #re-reading this it feel a lot like an attack of word vomiting >.>#I genuinely have mixed feelings about this text #oh well I guess brainrot for this man is too strong rn to care XD

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theraccoonslair · 2 months

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Working with you (NSFW)

Characters: Kusakabe Atsuya x AFAB!reader

Synopsis: As much as he hates missions, he is a very thorough individual. Every paper is neatly placed in front of you, a small semi-transparent differently coloured post-it at the corner of every folder, a way to categorise them depending on their function and who they should be delivered to in the office. You nod, trying to memorise number and use of said form, while Kusakabe lends you a pen. “Experience is the best teacher – he says, a small grin appearing on his lips – so I’ll let you do the honor”

Words: 2600⁓

Note: Reader is afab but I tried to keep anything else as gender neutral as possible, so description of body should be ambiguous. "pussy", "cunt" and "clit" used to describe genitalia. No pronouns used. Reader is a foreigner sorcerer, mentions of previous make out session, mentions of alcohol. This is a NSFW text, so please MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, THANK YOU.

---

“Yep, everything seems fine to me”

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Are you drunk?”

“Thank you, Kusakabe-san” you murmur.

“Ah, I’ve already told you – he retorts, a small grimace on his features, while he takes the stick of his now finished lollipop out of his mouth – you can call me Atsuya.”

“Well, then... thank you, Atsuya.”

“Atsuya”

He, simply, can’t.

Yet he persists.

“A-atsuya...p-pleeease…”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #kusakabe atsuya #kusakabe atsuya x reader #Coony scribbles

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xcherryerim · 1 month

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this isn’t a request, more of a question! How do you start off a tumblr for writing? Smuts and what not. Any tips? I especially like the way you decorate each post and space it out!

Hello! thank you so much for asking me this omg

I will mostly talk about smut content because that is mainly what I write but some tips can be used for fluff, angst and what not! (also pls keep in mind I started writing like a month ago so i’m new to this too!)

So…

1. I will always recommend to read other people’s work!

This is the best way to see how other people describe certain feelings, settings, emotions and even characters!

2. Write in the perspective of the reader, not the writer.

What this means is make sure to be detailed on your writing, and also try to be inclusive as possible. Doesn’t matter if you’re writing for gn!reader, afab, fem, amab etc. For example, don’t describe the reader (if you’re writing for readers ofc) that they’re skinny, pale, that their flesh is pink (for smuts), that their ‘chest is big’ because that might not the the case for everyone. I would say lean more on the surroundings, the noises, and the sensations rather than the body itself.

3. Do your research!

if you’re writing for gn!readers for example, try to look up for tips on how to write for them. This is what I normally use.

When it comes to smut, one of the hardest things for me is to come up with the positions. So, I look for sexual positions online (the examples are drawn out) or watch actual porn. AND IK HOW IT SOUNDS BUT come on, I’m writing literal porn. This is to see visually how the body reacts realistically to certain positions.

(Yes, i’m a visual learner)

4. This is more if you have a ton of ideas like me. Anytime you come up with something WRITE IT OUT ASAP (if you can ofc) doesn’t have to be dialogue or too specific. It can be as simple as “He is your roommate and ends up having shower sex with the reader.” (this is taken out of my ideas list lmao)

I also wanted to say that if you really want to write a scenario that has been overdone (Derek x reader assistant or a story related to Mike and his vest) that does not mean you can't write it, just make it unique and yours!

5. Finally, do not get discouraged. Writing at first is overwhelming, and if you’re like me you’ll always think your writing isn’t good enough but remember, there will always be someone out there willing to read and appreciate your work.

Also if we get more technical, I use Google Docs, Grammarly, and Nautral Reader (when I’m tired of reading my work).

Hope this helped, and if you have more questions, please let me know! Again, thank you so much for asking me about this.

#I literally just woke up #writing smut #smut writing #smut writing tips #smut tips #writing tips #writers on tumblr

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saspitite · 9 months

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CARRD | PRONOUNS | ART FIGHT | COHOST

plain text/screenreader friendly version will be made soon i promise

hi, i'm saspitite, but you can call me sas, saph, or cadaver!! genderqueer shrimp has breached the internet!!! i use any pronouns but she/her :)

current icon: #062 from Drowned Shrimp

current header: a post-concert photo of Heavysaurus

➸ this mess is a place just so you know. i will be reblogging All sorts of shit. i try my best to tag so you can filter for your own curated experience but i am not perfect 👍

this is not completely a politically-based blog but i might occasionally reblog that kinda stuff. hide #shrimpolitics if you don't wanna see it.

i also love to post about gay things and the Good Ol Leftist Agenda so there's that. i don't really have a tag for it yet so, uh, suffer for now. serious/heavy issues are tagged as #serious stuff... if i can remember to use that one

and i also love posting about shrimp/crustaceans!! my general posting tag is #shrimposting and my general reblogging tag is #shimpy shemps (note that these aren't EXCLUSIVELY just for shrimp, but for other crustaceans too sometimes). if you see a shrimp in a post and wanna know what species it is (or if there's just general context in relation to shrimp missing) you can tag me and i'll probably be able to answer because i'm just that normal about them lol

(more tag info found towards the bottom)

➸ messages and asks are always open, please just don’t spam me, it makes me nervous!!

➸ non-mutuals won't be able to message me (because i get way too fucking many porn bot messages, its exhausting) so if you wanna PM me and i don't follow you, just send an ask that has your @ in it + preferably an explanation as to why you want to reach out, and i'll follow you so we can talk! i won't answer the ask, i'll just read and then trash it, so dw!!

➸ also pretty please pleaseeee send me asks in general i love answering them!! (/nf)

➸ i do my best to add image descriptions for any images/gifs i add in my posts, but i may occasionally forget to/don't know how to describe them. do let me know if i should add/fix an id for anything in any of my posts!!

➸ mutuals are free to ask about any possible phobias/triggers i need tagged if they'd like, i just removed that information publicly for safety reasons.

➸ btw i love all trans people and aros and aces and mspec lesbians and bi lesbians and afab transfems/amab transmascs and multigender people and queer poc and disabled queers and fat queers and neurodivergent queers! i do not care what people say about you i love you forever!!!!!!!

➸ also i say faggot and dyke and tranny a lot. so uhm idk block me if you're a coward

➸ i don't really do DNIs because they're pretty useless and redundant but if i don't like you i might just block you. so just don't be gross!! terfs, transmeds, nazis, israel supporters, and idiots of the like will all be blocked on sight <3 and i'm not "debating" you either lol

tags

(reblogs)

"#giggle" - posts i think are especially funny

"#gold star sticker" - my all time faves

"#shimpy shemps" - posts about shrimp/crustaceans not made by me

"#shrimpolitics" - political bullshit

"#serious stuff" - posts touching on serious or heavy topics, may sometimes contain triggering subjects

"#identifying shrimp / identifying crustaceans" - me adding the species of a shrimp/crustacean found in a post (if its not already outright stated) !!

"#out of all the posts out there this is certainly one of them" - posts that took me like 300 rereads to mildly comprehend and i still don't fully get what's happening. yet i reblog

"#(____) wunk" - i have no clue how but this became my tag for rabbits.

(posts)

"#sas says" - just a normal post i'll make, maybe a random life update or a funny joke i wanted to share

"#sas scavenging" - me showing off something i recently found/bought, which could be anything from t-shirts to rocks

"#shrimposting" - me blabbing about various crustaceans, typically fun facts and whatnot

"#shrimping" - any of my irl activities and whatnot that involves me wearing my shrimp costumes (like conventions and events!!) *haven't used yet

"#venusposting" - posts of my cat venus

"#sas spiels" - writing/creative concepts that might not be fully fleshed out, just me sharing some thoughts i had in my head

"#sas stories" - my writing!!

"#sas scribbles" - my art!!

"#sas songs" - my music!!

"#a terrible thing has happened" - a terrible thing has happened

"#cosmic intertwines" - my eldritch horror universe (note that this is an umbrella name for all of my fictional worlds listed below and may be tagged in posts that focus on other worlds, but is usually reserved for the gods and outer activity of my fictional universe)

“#machina mundi” - an advanced post-apocalyptic robot world

"#hotel mabiya" - my flight rising clan

"#belet's dream" - a world of diverse anthropomorphic animals

"#the inter galactic voyagers" - the saga of a group of friends and their exploration of the cosmos! (takes place in the same world as "belet's dream")

sideblogs

@ebiquest - game project blog

@hotelmabiya - in-character flight rising clan lore blog

#intro post #gifs #arthropods #shrimp

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kaijurakunsobs · 3 years

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If requests are open could you do a Heisenberg fic with a teen or young adult reader(no older than 20 please) who stumbles into the village trying to get away from their parents and after they get attacked by Lycans Heisenberg patches them up and takes them in trying to hide them from his sister and mother miranda. Could you please do it with an AFAB reader who doesn’t identify as female? I am currently dealing with borderline verbal abuse from my conservative father who doesnt like that though I am AFAB I don’t identify as female.

first, baby, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I know how bad and mentally taxing that kind of living situation can get, I was in a similar situation and somehow managed to pull through.

you are not alone, you are loved and I hope everything gets better, never forget that it's you who defines yourself, your self worth should NEVER be defined by others

All you can think is...how cold everything is around you, how the freezing air burns your skin and lungs, but, you have endured something worst, physical pain can be healed with time, emotional and psychological pain is what hurts the most, what feels eternal and haunting, it coils around you, it grows and never let's go, like being branded, it leaves marks that never go away.

Running aimlessly through the snow feels like nothing.

What made you get out of the car?

Was it anger?

Desperation?

Does that even matter anymore?

You can't hear their voices anymore, so that's a win.

Farther away you see smoke and fain lights, distant sounds beckoning you closer to that place, and you let yourself smile widely when the silhouette of someone standing so close to you, you could get help, start somewhere new, be happy!

But it's so short-lived, that you question if there's divine retribution, karma, or just the universe laughing in your face.

Your "savior" is covered in blood, a man with a perpetual expression of agony lays in the snow, dead. The monster turns to you and finally the cold freezes you where you stand, it's not alone, and all the other creatures are looking at you, dark soulless eyes fixated on their new prey.

You have felt like that before under his gaze like if you were vermin, it made you furious how you were treated and consider as something lesser than a person. These things look at you the same like you are just a speck of dust in their path, and maybe you are, if the mangled body is any indication that taking a life will be nothing for them.

You see it from the corner of your eye, one of them lunges for you, and then? everything is a blur.

You remember kicking and punching wildly, adrenaline making you forget about the pain of the bites and scratches, there are memories of you running and using something to smash the head of one of the monsters, a rock, perhaps? But in the end, cold, blood loss, and exhaustion are enough to bring you to your knees. One of them grabs a fistful of hair and roars in your face and you know, that, this is it, you fought and did your best, but this is the end of your travesty...so much for your new life of freedom.

"Get the fuck away...I SAID FUCK OFF!" his voice is so loud that it makes you whimper and recoil "LET GO, CAN'T YOU HEAR ME? LET GO, DAMN IT!" the smell of blood and a warm liquid hits you hard, but at least you are free, letting your body hit the snow

"What do we have here?...this one is alive, but ya ain't from around here, do you?" he's smoking and something small and silly wants you to tell him that smoking is bad, which makes you smile so softly "...Interesting"

Heisenberg rarely gets intrigued by anything, he hasn't found anything to spark his curiosity in so long, so of course, he had to come and see what was causing such a commotion. What he thought to be a villager, fist fighting the lycans so valiantly, turned out to be a teenager, he saw you from afar, furiously kicking lycan after lycan, you didn't even notice the growing red spots in your clothes and the black eye, it was survival and feral like behavior. Truly interesting.

Now, what made him pick you up with care? years from today he will say it was just "Scientific interest kiddo! nothing more", but, it's the pain in your face that makes him act so soft, it's not the agony brought by your wounds, this goes deeper, it's different and he knows it very well.

Under normal circumstances, he would have taken you to Moreau, but he knows the loud mouth will give you to that bitch Miranda and that will be it for you. Dimitrescu is OUT of the equation, so does Beneviento, hell knows what her psychotic ass would do to you. So he brings you back to his home and takes time to clean your wounds, true, his stitching abilities are amazing...on corpses, and a lack of anesthesia and your occasional movements makes it hard for him to stitch you properly, but by the end of everything, you are bandaged and clean, isn't that the important part?

He’s done his part, the rest is on you. If you had the strength to fight and even kill a lycan, you might live to see another day

How long were you out?

You are warm and so fucking sore, cracking your eyes open is a big task and even harder to sit up in the bed you are laying on. The room is black and smells like tobacco, oil, and something you can’t place but it’s nice.

Barefoot and curious you start to get up, wincing deep and loud when pain floods your body, but you get up non-less, you feel the cold air hit your legs, and immediately pull down the shirt to cover yourself. Then it fully clicks, the jagged memories of what happened slaps you in the face and make you lose your footing, falling back on the bed you pry the shirt off from your body, you see bandages and patches placed on smaller wounds, your head is killing you and your right eye hurts like crazy.

With small breathes you pull the shirt back on and force your body to get up and investigate the room. There are piles of clothes and pieces of paper everywhere, picking one of the pants you sigh, these are yours, but they have been destroyed either by the beasts or by however brought you here. Looking around there’s nothing more, time to go out.

The only door leads you to an open room, the kitchen and living room placed together, in one of the sofas you can see someone laying down, their chest rising and falling softly, their face obscured by an old hat.

You try to be as quiet and sneaky as possible when getting back into the room “Where do you think you are going, kid?” his voice is thick with sleep but the sound is enough to make you yelp, slamming your shoulder against the door frame, the man jumps up and in a couple of strides he’s beside you “Can you more fucking careful? the stitches gonna get open and if you get an infection I ain’t risking my neck to get you meds”

He’s a bit taller than you with squared and wide shoulders, his face is stern and it seems like he’s annoyed about something, is it you? Did you anger him? You try to remember what could you have done to make him so mad but nothing comes to you, is not like you remember much, and what you do, is better to be left forgotten.

Heisenberg has seen many people look at him with fear, reverence even, but he has never been in the receiving end of a look like yours, he has to close his eyes for a second, carefully grabbing your wrist and dragging you to the kitchen, almost forcing you to take a seat in on of the wobbly chairs he owns.

“Well now that you are back with us, I can finally cook something to eat. You must be starving! I would too after the way you fought back there” he lets out a howl while he busies himself with pulling ingredients for whatever he’s cooking “I saw ya, you know? That was one hell of a show and I know about putting up good entertainment, you gave those lycans a good beating”

Lycans? So those things have names...uuuh, who would have thought.

"What's your name kid?" you get pulled out of your mind by his voice and the smell of cooking eggs, for a moment you wonder and think, that this is the time to be addressed by YOUR name "...I'm Y/N, sir"

"Cut the sir bullshit, you ain't trying to impress nobody here, you can call me Heisenberg, Karl if you wanna get my attention quickly, got it?"

"Yes...Heisenberg?"

He's rather harsh from what little you have seen of him, but he's careful when serving you breakfast, a steady hand serves you tea and makes quick work of a loaf of bread, whit that you two eat in relative silence, he eats like a wolf and that's enough to make you hide a smile.

"Once you are...better..." he's speaking between bites, eew "I'm taking you to get some new clothes, staying here ain't gonna be free, ok?" with his fork pointing at you he waits and continues without you answering "I'll have to teach you...that's gonna take time..."

"I'm a faster learner!"

Heisenberg laughs at the offended tone in your voice, taking a big gulp from his mug once he stops "I like ya kid, there's a fire in you and I respect that, we gonna get along"

It takes you almost 2 weeks to fully recover and be able to move without crying out in pain. On the day he announces that he must take off your stitches, he's kind when pulling on the thread, talking about how that same day he's taking you to the seamstress cuz he's "done" having you wear his stuff.

The seamstress in the Village seems flabbergasted when "Lord Heisenberg" comes into her house, demanding she makes you good sturdy pants and easy to move in shirts. From that sole visit is enough for people to call you "Heisenberg's assistant" whenever you are sent to the village or just went spotted by anyone. The Duke, the merchant that sometimes you have found yourself talking to, does nothing but fuel the rumor, people already fear Heisenberg on a god day, now they fear you might be spying for him.

You would be lying by saying that, Heisenberg is a normal man, he's flamboyant and loud, filled with pride, and what you can describe as...showmanship, he speaks with passion when explaining to you the ins and outs of the factory. He's always close, never breathing down your neck, just close enough to hear if you need help.

The first time you see him use his gift is the most embarrassing and awkward moment of your life.

You are working on some molds for pieces he needs to make from scratch, he taught you where you should work on that, away from whatever lurks in the lower areas of the factory. You were so engrossed in getting the mold out perfectly, tongue sticking out and heavy gloves helping you to pry open the damn thing open, you don't even jump when a hand lands on your shoulder, but you do when the ghoulish face of a corpse appears beside you.

He's running the second he hears you, a high pitched sound tearing through the noise of the machinery, he sees you bolting it towards him and a Zwei Soldat quickly catching up with you, the drill in its arm too close to your back, the moment you are close enough he pulls you towards and behind him, a metal sheet flying to the thing and beheading it in an instant.

"Kid...Kid, look at me, hey, eyes on me" you are not crying, there's no blood anywhere and nothing seems to be missing, you seem more startled than anything else, but you listen to him, concentrated on him and his voice "Y/N, it's ok kid, I'm here"

Then it happens, you let it slip. "Thanks...thanks dad"

You feel him go tense, the hands-on your shoulders shake for a second and embarrassment comes crashing down on you, you are ready for him to yell or push you away and order you to see if the mold is still useful, but he pulls you close, patting your back like you never said anything.

There are days when you can hear him talking on the phone, his voice growing irritated, and his explosive temper getting worst.

You are curled up in the crawlspace that he turned into your room, listening to him talking with someone, he sounds exasperated and nervous. This time he takes longer to come out from his room, a new cigar in his mouth and hammer over his shoulder, usually, he would tell you that he's leaving for a couple of hours, this time he's just there, tapping his foot and sparing quick glances at you.

"Get your coat, we need to leave"

That's new...he never takes you with him to wherever he goes, but you don't feel like arguing and do as he says, slipping your boots on and grabbing your coat.

Heisenberg is unusually quiet this time, only the snow crunching under your feet make enough sound to fill in the void, he takes you farther from the village and into a rundown church, you can hear new voices and the unforgettable sounds of the lycans snarling.

Inside the candlelight is soft and cast strange shadows of the people already waiting inside. There's a woman in a white dress that probably towers over you, another lady dressed in black and her covered, she sits in a corner with a creepy doll on her lap, and finally, a shy man who battles to cover himself with the torn cloth of his jacket.

"Is this why mother Miranda called us? Did you brought a new toy and never informed her? what a bad dog you are Heisenberg"

"Non of your business, Dimitrescu" Karl does everything to keep you behind him, away from the doll or the twisted man, but especially from the woman, Dimitrescu as he called her.

From where you stood, you could see how beautiful and regal she is, sitting with grace and a sarcastic smile plastered on her face. Noticing you, she moved slightly to get a better look, narrowing her eyes, making you feel small and like food. Before she can't even speak the sound of feathers caught your attention, giving Karl enough time to guide you to one of the pews, making you take a seat beside him.

The four adults greeted the new woman, the infamous mother Miranda, you have heard about her in the village and through small stories shared by the Duke, but mostly, you have heard Heisenberg curse the woman and call her every single name under the sun.

"Usually I wouldn't care for what my children do in their dominions, but, Karl, I must say I'm disappointed in you...to hide this child and avoid telling us?"

"I apologize, Miranda, the right opportunity never came" ooooh he's pissed

"I say you take his toy, Mother Miranda, and if possible, give me that lovely lady to me?" at that your gut twist uncomfortably, it's been some time since you were...addressed like that

"Excuse me?" Heisenberg cocks his head to the side, looking at Dimitrescu over his shades "Are you talking about my SON?"

"YOUR SON?! Don't make laugh, child, I can smell the sweet maiden blood running through her veins, that's a lady not one of your dirty lycans"

"And you are bitch no matter how well you dress!"

"ENOUGH!" Miranda's voice breaks them apart, everyone looking at her "Care to elaborate, Heisenberg?"

Karl takes a second to take a drag from his cigar and blow a cloud of some into the air "I found Y/N here, they fought hard to survive and I took them in, just like Alcina, and her lovely daughters...I decided it was my time to have a child of my own"

"That doesn't change the fact that you brought an outsider and didn't inform mother, and now you are trying to do what exactly? have...them...play house with you?"

"Lady Dimitrescu, that's enough" she's looking at you, mother Miranda in staring, and Heisenberg as a hand on your back, suddenly you are hyper-aware of everything, the sounds and smells, the movements each person in the room does, the way the candles flicker "I allow it, may this never happen again, Heisenberg. Next time there will be consequences"

You feel like passing out after that, the screams of Dimitrescu and the doll get drown by the ringing in your ears, everything keeping you together is Heisenberg's hand on yours cursing up a storm as he pulls you along with him.

The cold air feeling nice against your burning skin.

"Kid? I think you are ready" you are halfway through the trek back to the factory when he speaks again

"Ready for what?"

"To be introduced to the Heisenberg family true work, of course! What kind of father I would be if I don't involve you in our family's business"

You trip with your feet hearing him say that, so...he meant it? what he said in the church...that you are his son?

"Come on Y/N, I won't go easy on you because you are my kid now, quick quick"

Catching up to him is easy and you feel at peace when one of his arms wraps around you, he begins to talk about how many things he's gonna teach you and how exciting is to have a young mind to shape.

For the first time, you are eager to get back home.

#karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg #x reader #heisendad #resident evil 8 #re8 #answer stuff #request stuff #reader is a teen #trans reader

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stonedregulus · 2 years

Note

Hi, this is a bit personal so feel free to ignore me!! I've seen you be fairly open about being trans so I thought you might be a good person to ask...how did you realize you were trans? I have been kinda lightly questioning lately for the first time and I'm struggling with whether this is legit questioning my gender or just experiencing normal gender envy of being a girl because dicks just seem easier! Also maybe I just read way too much smut with exclusively dicks? I'm also asexual and think that relates cause sex involving my body sounds like ew gross sometimes but if I had a dick... that'd be better lol. Sorry for just dumping this legit novel on anon in your inbox wow!!

Hey anon! Sorry I’ve been sitting on this ask for a few days trying to figure out how to answer you. I think it was just sort of a combination of pronouns that felt right and body dysphoria and then body euphoria when using a packer and binder/trans tape.

I’m not sure how to describe it. Saying I was a trans man just felt right.

I’m putting the next part under the cut because it’s about sex and about me personally and I know that may really bother people but I also feel like it’s important and one of the things that helped me realize I was trans.

I talked to some of my other trans/non-binary/genderfluid AFAB friends about this a few months ago because I was trying to figure this out and many of them agreed with me with how I was feeling. Also, I feel like no one fucking talks about this and maybe we just should so it would be easier for people to figure things out.

But like penatrative sex does literally nothing for me. Like it’s fine or whatever but I cannot come and it’s not even that enjoyable. And it’s not that I don’t have a partner who knows what they’re doing because they do, and also I have been with many different people of different genders but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t find it enjoyable. I can and do get off on clitoral stimulation but what it feels like is… Idk, the best way I can describe it is like when people who have lost a limb due to amputation talk about phantom itching on their limb that no longer exists. It’s like having a phantom dick. Like I feel like I have a phantom boner and if I could just jack myself off, that would be that. And I’ve talked to multiple people who feel the same way.

And no I am definitely not asexual. I like sex, I want to have sex, I just want to have sex in a way I am physically unable to do so. There’s nothing wrong with being asexual, I’m just not. Also you can be trans AND be asexual. Everyone’s bodies are different, so you can still be trans and what I’m describing here could make no sense to you and you don’t feel that way.

Idk I just feel like this kind of stuff should be talked about and maybe would help other people, hopefully it helped you and I hope I didn’t freak anyone out too badly. Sorry 🙈

#trans stuff #transmasc #transgender

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bamsywrites · 3 years

Text

Mistakes Like These

Summary: Kakyoin never paid much attention to the younger Kujo. Who knew stockings and short skirt were all it would take change that

Rating: 18+, nsfw

Words: 4877

Warnings: cannabis mention, alcohol use

Tags: afab, fem pronouns, modern!au , doesn’t follow the canon like at all, very au, brother!jotaro x sister!reader, kakyoin x reader, soft dom kak, lots of pet names, plus size reader

Notes: I haven’t written any fanfiction in over five years so this might be rusty. I’m sorry for any mistakes made or if its not how the characters would act. I’m still new to the Jojos fandom but had this idea pop in my head and decided to get it out. I want to turn this in to a multi part story and have several parts already planned out, I just want to have feedback to see if people actually like it.

“Have a happy Holidays. Make sure to check in with your financial advisor about the spring semester.”

A sigh escaped your lips as you read the most recent email in your student inbox. Patience may be a virtue, but it was sure one you didn’t possess. At least not right now anyway. Tsking your tongue against the roof of your mouth, you moved the mouse over to the refresh button and clicked. Your eyes followed the downloading icon in circles, fingers tapping anxiously over the desk.

“Have a happy Holidays. Make sure to check in with your financial advisor about the spring semester.”

You exhaled angrily through your nose and leaned back in your chair. Your eyes fixed on the ceiling for a few moments before you looked over to your bed where your cat, Miso, had woken up from his nap.

“I know I should be more patient. But this grade is what determines if I move on to the next course which I need if I want to graduate soon and get out of this apartment.” You spoke as if your cat had scolded you for your impatience.

Your apartment was nice. Super nice. Your friends often described it as “apartment goals.” You could have never afforded it on your own. Hell, you couldn’t afford it even when you graduated and got a job. Two large bedrooms with a spacious living room, modern kitchen, and a balcony that overlooked the cities skyline. There were only two major downsides: there was only one bathroom which had to be shared with your roommate and your roommate happened to be your older brother, Jotaro.

Now, you didn’t exactly hate your brother. He was like any older brother, he thought you were extremely annoying and wanted nothing to do with you most of the time, though there were times growing up where he’d come home with scrapes and bruises after dealing with someone who picked on you at school. As you were both older, you found each other more bearable than you did when you were younger. That didn’t mean, however, you wanted to live with him. Especially while you were in college, which was supposed to be your time to let loose and have fun while still receiving an education, of course. Your grandfather, however, had other plans.

Joseph Joestar was a real estate mogul and had some serious money to his name. He loved to dote on his two grandchildren and was upset that for the most part your parents chose to give you a “normal” life without the extravagance that he offered. Birthdays and christmas he would buy you each a present, until Jotaro turned 15 and started asking for money instead. He made your mother an offer that he knew she couldn’t deny: he would pay for the entirety of your schooling, from associates degree to PhD if thats what you wanted, in order for the two of you to focus on your studies he’d also give you a weekly allowance so that you wouldn’t have to work, and he’d buy you each your own apartment and pay to furnish it how you liked. Holly couldn’t turn down the offer, what kind of mother would deny her children an opportunity like that? However, she did ask that her father only buy a single apartment for her children to share. Her hopes were that it would strengthen your relationship and it also meant she could see both her darling children whenever she desired.

You didn’t want to seem ungrateful at all for what Jiji had done for you. You knew you were extremely privileged to have the opportunities that he provided you but, fuck, sometimes you wished you had your own place. You wanted the independence, to know you earned something but also because sharing a bathroom with Jojo was infuriating. He always moved your stuff, never cleaned the shower, and he never had patience for you to get ready in the mornings. A wishful sigh left your lips as you thought of your future, with just you, Miso, and the ability to use the bathroom whenever you wanted.

Your eyes moved back to the computer screen, clicking refresh, and rolling your eyes when you read the same email from the dean again. Like you expected anything different, you just turned the term paper in yesterday. You brought your cup of tea up to your lips but furrowed your eyebrows when you realized there was none left.

Pushing yourself up out of your chair you formulated a plan for the rest of your evening. You would refill your cup of tea, hop back on your computer to play Overwatch with your friends until the early hours of the morning, and then cuddle up with Miso and look at TikToks until you fell asleep. It was foolproof. No way that you would even think about your term paper grade.

And if you did, you could always refresh your email in between matches.

-----------

Your finger tapped your lip as you looked over all the snack foods in the pantry. While waiting for your tea, you realized that the only thing that could make your plan better was a good snack. You had just gone shopping so it meant that all the poky, ramen, and chips you desired were on the shelves and it made the decision extra hard.

In the middle of your contemplation, you heard the front door turn and the sound of your brother and his friends entering the apartment.

“You know it's true, Jotaro. Your apartments bigger. Its nicer. It has that view that drives the ladies wild. Our apartment is cramped and it smells like weed.” Polnareff’s voice was the first you heard as the trio entered the house.

“Don’t forget the upstairs neighbors who are always playing loud polish music.” Kakyoin added, plopping down to sit on one of the chairs in the living room.

You heard your brother sigh and could feel his annoyance. You never understood how the trio became friends, it was a mystery to everyone including them but they had been together since their days in primary school and the bond they shared was one that intrigued you.

“Yes, yes. The polish,” Polnareff nodded. “Known around the world for their ability to ruin the mood with a hurdy-gurdy.”

There was silence, and you could tell your brother was not budging a bit. A party was not Jotaros thing. Kakyoin wasn’t a partier either, from what you gathered he’d much rather stay at home playing video games and smoking weed. Sucking your bottom lip in your mouth, you made your decision, grabbing a bag of chips and a box of strawberry pocky. You did your best to hold those in one hand and your cup of tea in the other.

“Feel that Christmas spirit, Jo. Help Pol in his never ending crusade to get laid. The poorman is gonna end this year with, what, a batting average of zero. He’ll be a disgrace to French men everywhere.” The teasing tone Kakyoins voice almost made you laugh.

“Hey! Batting average of 3. You know this,” Polnareff shot back, causing his roommate to throw his hands up in mock surrender.

“Jotaro,” The french man turned his attention back to your brother, who simply turned on the TV in what seemed to be an attempt to drown out the sound of his friend's voice, “C’mon. I’ll buy your cigarettes for a month…..Two months?” His voice was getting more desperate, his head turned toward you. A smile stretched across his features as he jumped off the couch and threw his arms around your shoulder.

God, you just wanted to go to your room.

“New deal,” Polernaff declared, squeezing you to the side of his body as you tried not to splash your tea all over the floor. Kakyoin looked away from the TV, eyebrow raised, Jotaros attention never faltered from the knock-off Viagra commercial. “If you agree to a Christmas Eve party I will buy you cigarettes for three months, I will never ask anything of you ever again, and I will stop flirting with your sister.”

Kakyoin snorted, shaking his head and turning his attention to Jotaro. Since you had moved in with Jotaro, the frenchman hadn’t stopped making comments about how beautiful he thought you were or just giving you flirty winks whenever you walked through the room. You found it annoying at first, but you quickly got over it when you realized he did the same thing with every girl, and boy, that he saw.

“Good grief,” Jotaro sighed. “Its a deal.”

------------------

“I can’t believe you agreed to this.” Kakyoin mumbled as he and Jotaro watched their friend place the final touches on the decorations and food for the party. Y/N had already put up Christmas decorations earlier that month, there was some snowmen set out on the dining table and a cute tree with some presents neatly wrapped under it. However, Polnareff had decided that wasn’t enough. He had hung up snowflakes to come down from the ceiling, there was garland hung on every wall, and so much fucking mistletoe.

Polnareff had even requested that his friends dress festive. Jotaro, of course, didn’t listen and wore what he always wore. Kakyoin decided to humor his friend and wore a Santa hat along with a dark green v-neck and dark wash jeans.

“You don’t need the money, right? Grandpa Joestar’s allowance has to be enough for cigarettes.” He continued, watching his roommate place a bowl of peppermints by the door.

“I just wanted to get him to shut up,” Jotaro said with a roll of his eyes.

“You think he’ll actually follow through on leaving Y/N alone?”

Jotaro shook his head, “Out of all the people in this city, you’d think he’d leave the only one of limits alone.”

Kakyoin simply nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

-----------

You smoothed your hands over your outfit, turning to the side to get it from a different angle. You couldn’t decide if you liked it or not. The sweater was cute, it was red with a deep green christmas tree that had colorful little puff balls as the ornaments. Your make-up and hair looked nice, too. That wasn’t what concerned you. It was the white pleated skirt and tight red stockings that caused you pause. You grabbed at your love handles that spilled over the top of the skirt a bit and your eyes traveled to how your thighs looked in the stockings.

Polnareff had told you you could invite some friends over. Which, of course you could, this was your apartment and you didn’t need his permission. You had told him as such and invited over your three closest friends.

You turned around to your bed and looked at Miso, who was comfortably curled up. “How do I look?” You waited a moment before turning back to the mirror and smacking your lips together. You were tempted to take off the skirt and tights and throw a pair of jeans on but something changed your mind last minute. Instead of heading to your closet to change, you instead grabbed the reindeer antler hand band and slipped it on top of your hair before heading out of the safety of your bedroom.

You were so distracted with the new decorations that you didn’t notice the pair of eyes that were glued to your form.

------

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime was playing for what seemed like the fifth time. Kakyoin had never hated Paul McCartney more than he did now. He was just now starting to feel the buzz of all the drinks he had had but it didn’t make the party any more bearable.

“She,” Kakyoin pointed to a blonde girl in a Santa dress, “is gonna hook up with him,” He pointed to a dark haired main that had for some reason felt the need to take his shirt off.

Jotaro simply grunted before eyeing more of the members of the party. This was a game they’d been playing for the past hour and a half, making bets on who was gonna hook up with who and who was gonna get the most shit faced.

“He’s gonna end up passed out in my bathtub,” The dark haired man stated, pointing to the only person dancing to the playlist Polnareff had created.

Kakyoin broke a smile as he watched the clearly wasted man's horrible dance moves. His attention was brought away from the scene by the sound of Y/N’s laugh. For what had to be the millionth time that night, the red haired man eyed her up and down. That outfit looked so fucking good on her but the smile streched out across her lips looked even better.

I wonder what the lipstick would look like smeared on my cock.

The thought slipped into his head and he couldn’t stop from staring at the red painted on your lips.

Does she feel as soft as she looks?

He took a sip from his cup. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about his hands running over her thighs or his fingers digging into her hips. It was strange that he was having these thoughts. He’d never viewed Y/N as more than just Jotaro’s younger sister. He never thought she was ugly, in fact there were multiple times that he thought she was down right gorgeous but it had never turned sexual. Something about that outfit had sent him over that edge.

The sound of Last Christmas brought him out of his trance. Kakyoin almost immediately rolled his eyes. He almost missed the hurdy-gurdy.

“Good grief,” Jotaro mumbled and grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the coffee table. “I’m heading out for a smoke.”

Kakyoin watched as his best friend got up but instead of heading for the balcony, Jotaro went out the front door. The red haired man was tempted to follow but as soon as that thought popped into his mind he heard the drunk voice of his other best friend call to him.

“Kak, you gotta show these guys the cherry thing!”

---------

It was well past 3. The party had ended and most of the attendants took an Uber home. The only people in the apartment were you, Polnareff, and Kakyoin. Jotaro had still not returned from that smoke he said he was going to take hours ago. The buzz had long worn off and the reality sank in that you had to clean the disaster of an apartment that was left in the christmas party’s wake.

There were red solo cups strewn about various surfaces and all over the floor, glitter seemed to have gotten everywhere, there were plates of food left half eaten, and there was a candy cane just stuck to the wall. Looking at the destruction, you almost wondered if the fun you had had was worth it. With your parents coming over tomorrow...or, well, today…..for Christmas, you had really no other option than to clean it, with that thought in your head you grabbed a garbage bag and started cleaning.

After a few minutes, you heard the familiar rustle of plastic as someone was opening a trash bag and you turned to see Kakyoin helping you with your task.

“Thanks,” You told him as you threw a plate of half eaten cake into the bag.

“No problem. Pol is passed out in the hallway and I gotta make sure Jo makes it home safe, so I’m kinda stuck here.”

You simply nodded in response and kept about your task in silence. A silence which seemingly bothered Kakyoin because a few minutes later he cleared his throat and broke the silence.

“So I, uh, noticed your man wasn’t here tonight.” He almost smacked himself for asking the question. You thought he was just making small talk, the thought of him having more devious reasons behind asking if you were single hadn’t crossed your mind.

“My….My man?” You quirked an eyebrow, looking back over your shoulder at him.

“Yeah, your man. I saw you with some guy a while back,” Kakyoin had put down the now full trash bag and was leaning against the counter top with his arms crossed as he spoke.

“Oh,” You suddenly realized who exactly he was talking about, “Yeah, um, we broke up six months ago,” You said with a laugh.

“Oh...Six months?” He titled his head to the side, “Are you sure? Hmm… Well, sorry I didn’t notice...I uh guess I should be more observant.

You shook your head, placing down your own bag and heading past him to the pantry to grab another. “Its alright, I’m not offended. I’m sure you find me as annoying as I find Jotaros friends.”

Kakyoin raised his eyebrows at your statement, “You find me annoying? I mean, Pol, I get. Yeah. He’s one of my closest friends and even I can’t handle him sometimes. But me? I never talk to you.”

You had busied yourself with cleaning the rest of the cups off the counter, “ I don’t know. You’re just…” You looked up and noticed his eyes quickly flick down to your lips before making eye contact with you again. “I mean, you did one time give me oregano and told me it was weed.”

“First,” Kakyoin started, his body shifted so it was turned toward you, “Thats not annoying. I would call that immature, maybe. But annoying? Nah. Second,” he threw up two fingers to emphasize his point, “ In my defense, you were 15 and I was worried about you finding our stash under Jo’s bed and I thought it would lessen that chance if I gave you your own stash.”

You laughed, setting the bag down and turning to look at him. You couldn’t help but notice how good he looked in that dark green shirt but you quickly willed that thought away. “Kakyoin, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Hey, at the time it did.”

You tilted your head to the side, you had plenty of stories that you could use as proof that he was annoying, “ What about that time you and Jojo left me stranded at school because the new playstation came out?”

“Thats not fair,” He noticed the playful hint your voice was taking and it caused a small smile to tug at his lips.

“How about the time that you threw up in my make up bag?”

“Hey, that was all Frenchie. Not me.”

“Or…..” You were silenced by Kakyoin pressing a finger to your lips. You hadn’t noticed that the two of you had just kept moving closer and closer as you were talking. You could get a better look at him now, his eyes looked tired but there was a mischievous glint to them, proof to you that he found this just as amusing as you did.

“What about you, huh? You saying that you’ve never been annoying?” He cocked an eyebrow, giving you a knowing look that let you know he had as many stories about you that you had about him.

“Look, I never once implied that I wasn’t annoying. I’ll own up to it,” You shrugged, “I was a total brat.”

Kakyoin snorted, “Don’t act like you’re not still a brat.”

“How?!” You looked almost taken aback, “How am I still a brat? You hardly see me!”

Kakyoin loved banter and teasing with his friends, it was kind of his thing. It was how he showed affection. If he didn’t gently bully you how was he supposed to show that he cared? But this, this teasing between the two of you was different. It made the room seem hotter and his pants feel tighter. That coupled with how fucking cute you looked in that damn outfit, even if your make up had worn off a bit and the lipstick was smugged. He couldn't deny it was doing things to him.

“I see you now,” His voice was deep, his tongue sticking out to wet his bottom lip as his eyes trailed you up and down.

Your cheeks immediately turned a blushy pink and your skin was hot under his gaze. Your lips parted but no words came out. This was Jotaros best friend, there was no way he was flirting with you.

Kakyoin took a few steps forward so he was as close to you as he could be without touching you. “I see you now,” He repeated in the same low voice, this time keeping eye contact with you, “And I see a brat.”

He pushes a few strands of hair out of your face and behind your ear, a gasp hitching in your throat as his heated skin touched your check briefly, “Unless you’re gonna show me otherwise.”

“I…” You swallowed the lump in your throat, suddenly weak at his gaze. “H-how?”

You look into his eyes and you can see it. You can see how much he wants you and how intense that want is. No one has ever looked at you that way before and it made your stomach erupt in butterflies. Quickly, you turn your head away not being able to handle the intensity of his stare. You feel his fingers on your chin guiding you to look back up at him, holding you there so he can take in all the features of your face. Its like he’s looking at you for the first time. His fingers move gently from your chin down to your neck, your breathing hitched in your throat when you felt the soft pad of his thumb move across your lips.

“If you want me to stop, tell me sweetheart,” He’s eyes had gotten a few shades darker and his voice seemed more strained than usual. Kakyoins free hand traveled under the sweater your were wearing, fingers lightly dancing along your side as his other hand stayed on you face, gently tracing the outline of your lips with his thumb. “Tell me right now and I’ll go back to pitching solo cups and scrubbing counters.”

In the pit of your stomach you knew you shouldn’t. You knew that if Jojo ever found out he’d flip, he’d always done his best to keep you and his friends separate. You always thought it was because you annoyed him and he didn’t want to have to be around you more than you already were, Kakyoin knew that it was because no matter how the man acted, he deeply cared for you and would do anything to protect you. These thoughts of Jotaro’s reaction filtered through your mind but your brother wasn’t here right now.

You acted on impulse, your tongue peaking out of your mouth to coax Kakyoins thumb between your lips. He watched with heavy lidded eyes as you gently sucked on the digit, swiping your tongue along the length of it. His breathing picked up for a moment before mumbling a quiet, “Fuck.”

Almost instantly you were hoisted on the counter with his lips against yours and wasting no time to swipe his tongue into your mouth. His hands quickly traveled up your thighs, pushing your skirt to pool at your hips and quickly ripping the stockings down the middle. Your legs hooked around his waist, pulling him as close to you as possible as your fingers worked at undoing his belt.

He pulls away from your lips for a moment to help you pull down his boxers and jeans. You licked your lips as you admired his cock, already hard and glistening with precum. You felt his fingers on your face again directing you to look at him.

“My cock needs to be inside you, sweetheart. Can I do that?” He was breathing heavy, he had never wanted someone so much in his life. All he wanted right now was to feel your pussy around his cock. Consequences be damned. “Can I fuck you, princess?”

You whine when you hear him speak, his voice is like nothing you ever heard before. Lust and want seemed to be dripping off every word. The whole situation leaves you speechless. At the nod of your head, Kakyoin pulls your panties to the side and slides inside you. His moan and your whimper are the only noises in the quiet apartment, his eyes watching your face intently for any sign of discomfort or desire to stop.

“Fuck me,” You breath out when your vocie finally comes to you. “Please, Kakyoin. Fuck me.”

He groans and happily obliges, rocking his cock in and out of you. Your small gasps and whimpers only egg him on more as he increases the speed of this thrust, your hands bracing yourself against the countertop. His eyes break from your face to watch his own cock slide in and out, the sight of his cock slick with your wetness makes him moan.

“Thats a perfect fucking pussy, sweetheart.” He breaths out so soft you almost can’t hear him over the slick sound of his skin on yours. His eyes find yours again, hand moving back to rest on your jawline and hold you in his gaze. He leans close and sucks your lip into his mouth, his teeth nipping at the soft flesh before soothing it with his tongue.

“You’re such a good girl,” Kakyoin tells you before pressing his lips against yours again. He picks up the pace because, goddammit, he wants to feel you cum on his cock. He pulls aways, resting his forehead against yours. Your moans are soft and the whimpers that follow cause him to smirk.

“Oh, fuck. That feels so good,” You whisper, looking into his eyes. He can see you getting closer and closer and its making it hard for him to keep composed.

“You take a cock so well, princess,” His lips brush against yours, he tilts your head to the side so that he can kiss down your neck, and then back up again. His lips find the lobe of your ear and gently suck on it. Your moans are getting more and more erratic, every now and then you’ll gasp out his name.

“You gonna be a good girl and cum on my cock,” Kakyoin whispers into your ear, his lips brushing against the shell of it. “Shit, sweetheart, I wanna feel that pretty fucking pusy come on my cock.”

It’s the sound of his voice whispering those dirty things in your ear that sends you over the edge.

“Thats it, princess. Fuck, sweetheart…I’m...shit. Can I….?” The red heads voice is ragged and incoherent but you knew what he was asking.

“Fuck, yes, please,” Its all you can do to get the words out. “Please, I wanna feel you come in me.”

You both come hard, his fingers digging roughly into the skin of your thighs and loud moans filling the space of the kitchen. The warmth of him spilling inside of you is enough to make you want a round two. After a few moments the two of you are left breathing heavy, his forehead resting on your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath.

You stay like that for a moment, trying to regain your composure and come to terms with everything that had just happened. This was a development in events that neither of you ever saw coming. Its you that make the move to separate, pushing against his chest and moving off the counter. You avoid eye contact with him, flating your skirt back down and picking up your, now ruined, stockings off the tiled floor. You could feel his cum drip out of you down to your thighs.

“That was….” Kakyoin broke the silence, buckling his belt and running a hand through his hair. You noticed he too was looking at anything but you.

“Yeah,” You nodded your head in response.

“You know we can’t uh…-”

“Yup.”

“Like, ever.”

“Trust me, I’m aware.”

“H-Happy...Happy Christmas.”

You just nod and quickly retreat to your room, throwing yourself on your bed and groaning into your pillows. After a moment, you crawled under the blankets and pulled your cat into your chest.

“Miso. I think I’m a slut….”

--------

Kakyoin watched as you retreated away down the hallway, his mind still wrapping around what had happened. The fact that he was the one that instigated it. He was the one that made all the moves and god, he shouldn’t have. But he had wanted to. He had wanted to get you in that position all night.

It was at that moment that Jotaro entered the apartment again, smelling of cigarettes and….perfume? Kakyoin was gonna have to ask him about that one later. “

“The prodigal son has returned,” The redhead teased his friend, doing his best to hide the guilt he had for what he had just done.

“Shut up,” Jotaro mumbled. He eyed his friend curiously, he was very observant and it was very naive of Kakyoin to think that he wouldn’t notice the change in his friend. “What’s wrong with you?”

I just busted a big one in your sister. And would probably do it again if the chance presented itself. No biggie.

“I’m, uh, I’m just tired.”

-----------

Thank you so much for reading this! I appreciate it very much. Let me know what you think of it and if I should continue the story. Merry Christmas!

#kakyoin x reader #noriaki kakyoin #noriaki kakyoin x reader #kakyoin #jjba #jjba x reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo #jotaro #jojo #stardust crusaders

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fandomshatelgbtqpeople · 3 years

Note

It's normal for a non-binary person to love the trans flag but not be comfortable using it for themselves ? I know I'm trans in theory but I feel like an invader.

Sorry that this answer has been sitting in the drafts so long but I honestly intended to do research on it and then became distracted by life.

First, let me start off by affirming that the only one who can decide your identity is you. So in essence, if you as a nonbinary person do not feel like trans is an identity that describes you then you are valid.

Secondly, it is also perfectly normal for some nonbinary people to feel like trans is not an identity that describes them. For example, I am an AFAB nonbinary person who presents more feminine and while I understand nonbinary is under the trans umbrella and that is a valid way to describe my identity, I don't particularly relate to it. There are other people with similar identities, expressions and presentations who do relate to being trans and that's fine too.

Third, there is a level of gatekeeping of trans identify, often rooted in transmedicalism, that posits that there is only one way to be trans and that way is usually binary trans people who medical transition. I think that's where a lot of the narrative about nonbinary people not being trans enough comes from. So that is all to say that no one should gatekeep your identity and you are definitely not an "invader" in trans spaces, whether or not you personally view yourself as trans. Nonbinary falls under the trans umbrella so if you feel trans then you are trans.

Four, the trans flag is very pretty. IMHO it is the most aesthetically pleasing flags. That being said liking a flag and using/claiming a flag for yourself are two different things. You should use whatever flag you like the most and best represents you. There are many nonbinary people who use the trans flag but there are also a lot who don't and both are valid.

I'm sure that there are other mods or followers of this blog who have different experiences and opinion and I would love to hear them. Also if I missed anything or got anything wrong, please feel free to correct me. Please feel free to reblog and add to the conversation.

-Mod J

#mod j

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yandere-sins · 3 years

Text

The Fox Wedding - Run away with Atsumu

Summary: You are to marry the fox spirit Kita Shinsuke after you accidentally agreed to become his wife by signing the deed to your new home. A contract is a contract, he says, but is there more to this marriage than you know? Will you be whisked away by one of the foxy twins instead, or have to marry Kita after all? Can you be with a creature that only seems tender on the surface, or will you try to run even if it might cost you your life? Choose your route carefully, you never know what these foxes are up to!

Characters: Kitsune!Miya Atsumu x afab!Reader

Rating: Explicit Warnings for this chapter: Yandere, Kidnapping, Forced/Unhealthy Relationship, Rough Handling, Verbal Insults, Mention of blood, Manipulation, Narcissistic behavior, Idolization

With your head bumping against the wall every time you finally slipped into sleep, your night wasn’t a particularly restful one. You wished for a soft bed, a mattress even, but all you had was that one corner in the cell you deemed ‘safe’. At least, you couldn’t be seen from the window or reached through the bars. It would give you enough time to wake up and get ready when someone came around to bother you again.

The short clips of dreams you experienced were both colorful depictions of a better life than you were currently in, and at the same time, nightmares of shadows and claws reaching for you. Neither truly made the reality any better, but you were glad to at least get some kind of rest after everything that had happened.

For probably an hour after your late-night visit at the window, had you continued to pace the cell. Some part of you had expected that there would be someone coming to free you after all. But the sparks of anticipation never completely started a fire of hope inside of you, and after a while, you realized no one was going to rescue you, no matter how long you waited. It was the point where you could only sigh, hug yourself and cower into your corner, wishing for the morning to come faster than the sadness and hopelessness you felt.

Undeniable, the thing that you feared the most was the feeling of acceptance that slowly but surely crept through your night. The longer you had to sit around and do nothing, the more you felt the despair of the situation. So you really would have to marry this man you barely knew? Was your life really going to take such a strange and undesired curve? Could you become happy here, under the fox spirits? Live a more or less ‘normal’ life with them? Even if you didn’t want it, for the sake of not having to fear for your well-being every second of your life, would you be able to accept it?

Those all were the thoughts weighing heavily on your mind. Other people had years to make life decisions like this - marriage, joining a new family and culture. And you had… hours, at best. The life you had wanted and imagined before was now in crumbling ruins. In contrast, you hadn’t even started building the new one, and that was not only tearing at your nerves but also ignited anxiety beyond comparison to anything you ever did before, inside of you.

“Hey,” you heard a soft voice in your dreams. It sounded so close and familiar, you were tempted to listen to it longer. So far, the voices in your dreams hadn’t been good in any way, but this one was welcoming to you for unknown reasons. Just like it was the touch to your cheek, warm and gentle, a palm keeping your head from bumping into the wall any longer.

“Wakey-wakey ~” the voice cooed, caressing your cheeks in its hands as you slowly tore yourself out of your dreams. That was a peculiar instruction for a dream. After all, the whole point of dreaming was being asleep! You squeezed your eyes together tightly, groaning lightly under your mind awakening. Instantly, the heaviness of the situation returned, reminding you of the future and the burdensome expectations on your shoulders. It wasn’t so much a gentle awakening than it was an exhausting pull back into reality.

No wonder that when you blinked your heavy eyelids a few times, focusing your gaze on your immediate proximity, the scare of the century overcame you, seeing a face only inches from you. Your body, immediately alert, began to struggle, but your throat acted up as you wanted to scream, and a hand covered your mouth before you could go through with it. Your heart was about to leap out of your chest from the surprise, and you instinctively clasped your hand around the arm, digging your nails in.

“Whoa! It’s me! It’s me, calm down!”

Were you supposed to know this person? Yes, the voice sounded familiar, but in the darkness, it was hard to make out any features aside from strands of light blonde hair and an eerie shine coming from the person’s eyes. Blonde hair? Where had you seen that before?

“We met at the window, remember?”

Slowly, cautiously, you began to nod. Yeah, you remembered now. With your mind waking up, you remembered the encounter you had with the twin-like fox spirits, who got ushered away by Kita. One of them, the one who promised to come and get you, had been blonde. Your eyes grew wide as you nodded more strongly, letting off his arm, and he too put down his hand from your mouth, now that you both were sure you wouldn’t scream and alert anyone.

“You came back...” you whispered, unbelieving. With the reality dawning on you, you couldn’t quite believe what was happening. He really kept his word. He really came to get you. “You- You…”

Feeling the tears of relief well up in your eyes, you didn’t think twice before throwing yourself at him. No matter how inappropriate or out of place this action was, you were hit with unspeakable joy that someone would come for you. That there was at least one spirit with good intentions in all of this was as unbelievable as it suddenly was real, and you hugged him tightly with your arms slung around his neck.

For a moment, you were hit with stunned silence until you realized what you were doing. You were just about to pull away when you felt his arms snake around you, pulling you in close. One hand rested against your lower back, the other on the back of your head. Completely enveloped in his arms, you could feel yourself relax a little, breathing in the earthy yet strangely sweet smell that came from him. Warmth spread all over your body, from head to toe, as he embraced you, and you felt safe and comforted in his arms, even if the situation was still far from it.

But eventually, it was he who pulled away first, hand falling from your hair to your cheek shortly to caress it for a moment. The spirit kept you close, whispering into your ear to minimize the risk of someone else hearing you talk. “It sucks to stop now, but we have to go. I’ll hold you all you want later though!”

With a soft gasp, you pushed your hands into his chest, and you heard him chuckle while you felt yourself grow hot from embarrassment. When you moved, he let you go but kept his hand on your right elbow to pull you up into a stand. “Keep quiet and don’t let go,” he instructed, his hand falling to yours. Sparks of fear overcame you as you realized you’d have to hold his hand, simply because you expected that same sharpness of claws on his as on everyone else.

But when you laid your palm in his, he gently clasped it around your hand, squeezing it without cutting or hurting you. You could hold his just as tenderly, and yet you weren’t afraid anymore, not even about him maybe letting go of you.

Pulling you along, you made one step before you used your weight to stop the movement immediately. “Wait!” you called out, softening your voice. Having stepped into the moonlight coming in through the window, you could see his ears twitch as you thought, the young man turning around confused about what could be.

“What…” Suddenly you felt almost ashamed to ask, and you avoided looking at him. Perhaps you were seeing him in a totally new light now. From the feared fox spirits, he had turned into something more of a prince, rescuing you, the princess, from the evil sorcerer - or so. Still, you were caught off-guard by his expressive face and the cute, moving ears on his head, the light almost coating him in a warm shimmer. You hadn’t noticed before, but he really was… handsome - if that was a word that could be used on spirits.

You almost forgot all about what kind of spirit he was.

“What’s your name…?” you asked coyly, and his lips curled up into a grin almost immediately. “Call me Atsumu,” he told you carefreely, and you couldn’t help yourself from smiling too.

“Then… Thank you, Atsumu-san.”

“Don’t thank me yet.”

Before you could question him, he turned around, pulling you towards the bars. Only now did you notice the gap he created, and you wondered if he could use the same kind of magic Kita used on them before. He helped you step outside, keeping you from bumping your head on them in the dark, and led you up the stairs where he waited. “Where are we going?” you asked, cowering next to him as he checked that no one was near.

“The forest. So far away that they can’t follow.”

“Should we go back to my house first? If… If it’s a longer journey, maybe we’ll need to prepare.”

Carefully, he opened up the door. There was no audible sound coming from it, which calmed you down as you feared someone spying you immediately. “That’s the first place they’d look. Where we’re going--” Atsumu paused, his ears twitched as he tensed, suddenly in high alert. The next seconds seemed like a small eternity to you as you instantly feared getting caught already. No words could describe the relief you felt as he relaxed again, turning to you and smiling wildly.

“You won’t need anything ’long as I am around!”

Somehow, his chipper nature was contagious. You felt immediately better, not as overcome with worries. As if you could put yourself into his care without thinking twice, and you smiled back at him, giving a single nod in understanding.

“Let’s go,” he whispered, squeezing your hand encouragingly, and you followed him as quietly as you could.

You would have followed him anywhere at this point.

“A-Atsumu--!”

You did your best. You really truly gave it your all. But how could he expect you to run for as long and fast as he did? Even if you put all your energy into it, you still couldn’t keep up, your only saving grace being his hand that pulled you along. “Can’t you go faster?” he asked, pulling you by the hand roughly, so you had to set out a step to jump forward.

“I- No! No, I can’t! I need a break!”

“Come on!” he moaned, and you saw the disappointment showing on his face, making you bite your lip. He wasn’t wrong. You really couldn’t complain. He was just trying to help, and you were currently risking you both by asking for a break. By now, the village could have already noticed you being gone and started to search. You didn’t want to think about what would happen to you two if they found you.

“Humans…” you heard him grumble in front of you, tearing you out of your thoughts. Though you strained yourself to listen to the end of the sentence, you couldn’t understand it, asking, “I’m sorry?”

“I said--” With a rough tug on your hand, he made you stumble to his side, a surprised squawk escaping you. Only briefly, while you still tried to comprehend the situation, did you feel his lips fall against your temple, your eyes widening as you repeated himself.

“Humans are so pathetic.”

“W- What--” you tried to stutter, perplex by this statement, but Atsumu didn’t bother with waiting for you to comprehend what he said, quickly continuing to drag you along. However, other than you were used to from Kita by now, Atsumu had no intention of hiding his thoughts from you, speaking them out loudly without hesitations.

“You humans are so pathetic, you don’t stand a chance against us. You’re lucky that Kita liked you, and you’re pretty. Otherwise, I don’t think he’d ever considered marrying you. What good are you? Can’t run, can’t use magic, can’t fight or hunt or at least bite! Would’ve let yourself be married off without even a bit of hissing and clawing, huh?”

“That…” You felt yourself puff up in anger as his words worked through your mind. “That’s so mean!” you complained, wanting to shake your hand free, but his hold on you stayed.

“Oh, it wasn’t meant to be nice,” he assured you boldly, not decorating the fact that he knew he was insulting you.

“How dare you!” you croaked in horror. Up till now, you had found him to be so nice and caring. Where was this coming from all of a sudden, you wondered? Stemming your whole weight into the next step you did, you wanted to inconvenience him by slowing him down. Even so, Atsumu easily pulled you over the ground, your heel digging into the dirt from the polar influences of strength.

A quick, patronizing sigh fell out of his mouth before he turned around, his everlasting smile on his face. “Now, now, don’t be upset. I was merely saying the truth, alright? Look…”

Atsumu closed in the arm-length between you, and you wanted to take a precautious step back but scrambled to keep your footing on the uneven ground. Without any hesitation, he wrapped an arm around you, keeping you steady and - for you - uncomfortably close.

“I like you,” he revealed. The small peck he left on your lips was barely noticeable before it was over again. “I like you a lot even, I think.”

His free hand came up, his pointer finger landing down on the middle of your forehead. There was a creeping nervosity as you felt the fingertip slide down between your brows and to the tip of your nose while you were aware of the sharp end of each of his fingers.

“Without me, where would you be? What would become of you? You needed my help, and now you need me too. What do you think will happen to such a pathetic, fragile, powerless human like you if they find you after you run away?”

You gulped. There was more than one reason for you to do so. For the first time, it dawned on you that this man was no prince at all, in fact, and you wished you had realized that earlier, he was just as much a fox as all the others. This situation for you was very much out of the frying pan and into the fire. Staying in the village and running away was both as terrible of a decision, despite the realization only now revealing itself to you as Atsumu uncovered how he truly felt about you.

“Stay here and let them find you so you can be killed and eaten, or come with me. The choice is yours,” Atsumu whispered, bringing his face closer to yours as if he was about to kiss you again. With his breath on your face, you felt yourself beginning to shake, overwhelmed with the situation and the choices he was giving you. You never felt so close to death than when you heard about what they’d do to you, but going with him also didn’t sound as appealing anymore as it did before.

“I--” you started, but a sudden jolt went through Atsumu and, therefore, also through you as he suddenly perked up, his ears moving to high alert before you could finish. For a moment, everything around you went quiet as you held your breath. Atsumu subtly moved his head around, trying to make out sounds while he listened for them.

“Chill, ‘Tsumu,” a voice rang out from behind you, and you flinched all while Atsumu relaxed a little, looking more annoyed than happy about who was interrupting.

“‘Samu, you bastard. Did you follow us all this time?”

Finally, you caught a glimpse over your shoulder, noticing the other twin you remembered from the window earlier that night. “Nah,” he yawned, massaging the back of his neck. “Just caught up with you because you decided to stand in the middle of the territory flirtin’.”

“Damn it,” Atsumu mumbled, not really to anyone, but his gaze lowered back down to you as he thought for a moment. “They started looking for us,” he explained, and you noticeably froze up. The fear must have shown on your face, but he seemed unmoved by it. “It’s time to make a choice, Princess,” he sighed, finally pulling his arm away and letting you go.

Immediately, you spun on your heels, running back to the grey-haired fox spirit. “Please! You have to help--”

Before you could even finish your plead, you noticed the sudden strange spark in his eyes as he raised an arm in front of his face. It was too late when you realized that he wasn’t as comfortable around you as his brother, claws lashing out for your face as you came too close for comfort to him, just like with a wild animal.

Your eyes closed the second you realized you’d be hit, but nothing happened. Instead, you felt a gust of wind, followed by a hand pulling you back. “Woah there, Osamu.”

When you opened your eyelids again, you were staring at Atsumu’s back, shielding you from his brother and having caught his hand just a second too late after getting some scratches on his cheek already from the impact. However, he merely wiped the blood away with his sleeve, flinching from the pain. “You’re my brother,” Atsumu noted nonchalantly.

“But if you lay even one hand on her, I won’t hesitate to tear off your arm.”

“I want to see that,” Osamu replied, shaking out his wrist from Atsumu’s grip.

“Get back,” Atsumu hushed to you, pushing you back carefully by walking backwards, never letting go of your hand. You spared a glance over your savior’s shoulder, meeting his brother’s gaze head-on.

“Just so you know, I ain’t helping you with this,” he said, clearly talking to you. Then he turned his gaze to Atsumu, brows furrowing more in distaste. “It’s your problem.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Atsumu purred before getting serious again for a moment. “You’re not coming with us then?”

“Not happenin’.”

“... Alright then.”

Turning his back to his brother, Atsumu finally focused on you again, a never before seen frown on his face. “So what will it be? You comin’ with me, or do you want that scrub to drag you back to the village? He might eat you along the way, though.”

You felt your heart race as you looked at Atsumu for some time before glancing back at his brother Osamu. The latter didn’t seem too interested in the deals his brother was making, only waiting for your decision also. “I--” you whispered, trying to make the decision of your life. You never wanted to go back to this village, become the clan head’s wife, or even worse: Dinner. But was going with Atsumu really a good idea? If you knew anything about him now, he was far worse when it came to moodiness than Kita, and his real intentions were hidden by his smile.

But still.

Your hand reaching for his sleeve, and immediately he bloomed up, his face showing a broad grin from ear to ear as he quickly reached for your hand again. With a quick wave and glance over his shoulder, he yelled, “See ya, ‘Samu!” before dragging you off again. You gave the twin another glance too, and whatever moved you to it, bowed your head briefly before trying to follow after Atsumu. Osamu merely sighed, mumbling something about ‘always having to clean up the mess’ before turning and leaving in the opposite direction, not giving you any more seconds of his mind.

It wasn’t a decision you liked making, but in the end, your life was still more important to you than… whatever it was that Atsumu was planning. He, at least, hummed happily after you chose him, his fast pace never ceasing even when you struggled. “Will he not tell them where we are?” you asked, glancing back over your shoulder nervously, not seeing any trace of life behind you any longer.

“Why would he?” Atsumu replied, and you figured that was the end of the discussion, even though it still made you uncomfortable not knowing what was going on.

“What am I going to do from now on…” you whispered to yourself, feeling an overwhelming dread rise in your heart. The anxiety of the unknown and fear that maybe even after all that happened, you’d still be found and captured again. And what was the deal with Atsumu anyway? It was so hard to trust him again, even though it was precisely what you needed to do at that moment.

“Don’t worry!” he suddenly chimed from the front as if he read your mind, and only now did you realize his lingering gaze on you, paired with an ever-casual smile. “We’ll hide somewhere no one can find us.”

“For how long?” you asked cautiously, still hoping that it would be possible to go back into your normal life someday.

“Hm? Who knows?” Atsumu replied, laughter falling from his lips right after he said that. That didn’t give you a good feeling, but he squeezed your hand tightly and simply kept moving forward as if nothing was wrong at all.

“At least--” he laughed, the forest suddenly clearing up and revealing the great, white moon above you, once again making Atsumu seem like the beautiful being he was. However, by now, you had your doubts about it. No matter how pretty his looks were, his personality seemed to lack in many places you had yet all to uncover.

“We’ll have a lot of time to keep the promise of hugging it out, right?”

He winked at you, and as the morning began to dawn, you realized your life would never be the same.

➤ Be safe

➤ Go back to the prologue to change your fate

➤ ?

Read other routes first to unlock more fates

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writterings · 3 years

Note

Hi I appreciate this is a personal question so if you’re not comfortable answering there is absolutely no pressure to, but how did you know you were a trans guy and not a butch lesbian? Because I’m having a bit of an identity crisis atm and I’m finding it hard to find resources etc to help me. I hope you’re having a pleasant day/evening/night

well first i figured out that i wasn't a lesbian to begin with. i genuinely was attracted to men, but i didn't really acknowledge that aspect of myself because loving women felt more radical to me and, tbh, i was also afraid of men at that point in my life for trauma reasons. also i had been raised catholic and so loving girls when i was a girl was just so liberating to me and felt so good. but i was still attracted to men and getting a crush on a dude helped me first realize i wasn't a lesbian. this is obviously just my experience, of course, and isn't universal.

and of course, there can be GNC/butch bi women - but this next part is what really cinched it to me.

when i had a crush on that guy i mentioned, he actually had assumed i was a trans guy/non-binary but trans masc leaning. and he was gay, so he was only attracted to me if i was a man/man-aligned. we didn't know each other that well so there was so there was a lot of miscommunication on each of our parts about my gender and his sexuality. but him seeing me as a guy and me liking that he was attracted to me as a guy -- well, just opened up a whole new world of gender euphoria. i had never conceptualized myself as a guy before and having someone else view me as such without me telling them explicitly how i wanted to be viewed?? that was gender euphoria to the max. again, not everyone's experience, but that was mine.

after that, i started experimenting more. changed my identity to "nb trans masc bisexual" or smth along those lines. it probably switched per week and i probably even went back to butch lesbian at times just because it felt right. (this guy and i never dated, and i wasn't dating anyone else at the time so i had a bit more freedom in switch my labels without people being like "if you're a lesbian why are you dating a guy??") eventually my mom "accused" me of being a trans guy (she wasn't accepting at first but now is very supportive) and pointed out all the obvious "facts" towards it and i was like "oh fuck i guess i'm a trans guy, huh"

("facts" here being stereotypes and the assumption that just because an AFAB person dresses masculine that they're trans, but that's besides the point)

but even after that, i still struggled with whether i was actually a butch lesbian/bi woman or a trans man. this is mainly because in my relative case, being a butch lesbian would have been easier as my parents at the time would have preferred me being GNC & gay but cis (or nb but not open about it), instead of outright trans. (again this is in my relative case, and is not a statement that reflects everyone's reality nor how systemic oppression works)

right now i'm happy as a trans man and i think this is the label that describes my experiences the best and it's the label i prefer. i'll probably die with this label, though the one for my sexuality often changes.

SO basically i just said all this to kinda give you an idea of how fucky gender can be, especially with the added equation of figuring out your sexuality. as a society, we often associate loving women with being a man, and loving men with being a woman, so we always have to deconstruct these internalized aspects of ourselves whenever figuring something out like this. or, at least, that's how i feel about it as i only realized i was a man when another man i wanted to love recognized me as one, shattering the internalized idea (that i wasn't even aware of) i had that if i loved a man, that it made me a woman. so, basically, if you're struggling then i recommend analyzing your sexuality a bit too and your concepts of how love/sex relates to gender for you.

also, if i'm honest, a good way start to determining your gender is just finding out what label is the easiest for you to exist in. i identified as a butch lesbian for a long time because it was the easiest for me to identify as, and because it felt better than anything i knew before. when i realized i wasn't a butch lesbian, and even after i realized i was a trans guy, i still didn't give people a label if they asked me. it wasn't their business and i was ultimately unsure. it was easier that way to identify unaligned or as another gender, despite how it wasn't reflective of how i actually felt. and that's a valid experience in itself!

but after you are finally to a point in which you don't have to care about "easy" over "happiness" then i recommend trying to discover what gender/label makes you the happiest. being a trans man has been hard and the opposite of easy, especially in the early years when it came to my parents and me acknowledging my gender dysphoria, but it is what makes me the happiest. being a butch lesbian was a great experience for me, and i have a lot of love for that version of myself. however, being a man is a whole other level for me - to the point where every moment ISN'T euphoric. it's just normal, it's just right, it's just who i am. i no longer get excited when being gendered or seen as a man - just because it's normal. the happiness of it is just now a regular part of my life. whereas when i was a a butch lesbian, i was constantly aware of how happy my presentation made me feel - or how unhappy i was still being seen as a woman.

at the end of the day, you don't need a label unless you want one. you're allowed to just exist however you are. you can even use multiple labels, mess with typical ones, or even make stuff up. there's no rules to this shit.

anyways, again, these are all just my experiences and my life. my advice may not be applicable towards you, but i still hope there was something you could glean out of it. good luck on everything!

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onelastbreath-writes · 3 years

Text

I Spy

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales/Fem!Reader (AFAB, no y/n)

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: Brief mention of bad(abusive/manipulative) parents, general adult topics, swearing.

Summary: You meet a cute guy at a bar, you date, you fall in love, and oops, it turns out you’ve both been lying about your careers. Classified only stays classified until you get assigned a mission together. (SpecOps&Spies, with Young!Frankie)

A/N: Hey guys, I was bad and started another fic. Whoops. This one is for Triple Frontier because I love that soft boi Francisco. The flavour of this fic, the vibe if you will, is basically the spiderman pointing meme. I’ve vaguely set the timeline to like mid-2000s? so I’ll be trying my best to stay true to technology and aesthetic of the era. There was so much denim. Anyways, that means I’m trying to write for about a 27-33 year old Frankie and a similarly aged reader. I don’t see this series being more than a couple chapters at best, so it’ll be short and sweet. Also, like, very little angst if I can help it; I just want this one to be a good, cute, fun read. Hope y’all enjoy! Xoxo

[AO3][Masterlist]

“So, you’re coming out tonight, right? You’re not busy or anything?”

“Please don’t say it like that, you know how busy work actually is. And I’m a grown woman; if I didn’t want to go to a shady dive bar with you and your very loud friends from the office, I’d say so,” You loved your best friend, and you missed spending time together, but you really couldn’t say the same for her co-workers.

You had nothing against the women she worked with, and you found that they were all perfectly lovely and usually quite fun to be around… it was just that when the alcohol came out, the volume control and verbal filters disappeared.

You wouldn’t say that barhopping was what you’d prefer to be doing tonight, along with more or less babysitting your friend and her friends, but you didn’t know when you’d next be able to squeeze in a night off to just hang out and have fun, so this was happening. You would laugh and smile and keep the drunk secretaries from going home with questionable people, and then you would look back on your ladies’ night with fond memories until you could eventually attend another.

You had known when you picked your career that it would be an around-the-clock, all-day, every-day sort of thing. You never deluded yourself into thinking you would have much of a social life or long-term relationships. Most partners, hell even most friends, would have a problem with you jetting off for weekends, or disappearing for days at a time under mountains of paperwork and appointments.

It just made your best friend that much more important to you. You’d met as kids, went through years of school beside each other, hung out, did stupid teenager things and then stupid young adult things together. You’d cried and laughed and fought and made up a million times, you’d gone to different colleges and still kept in touch, moved away, moved back, and you were still going strong. She was your ride-or-die, your anchor and your parachute and everything in between, so if you could use some of your precious, hoarded, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it time off to see her, that’s just what you’d do.

“You should take some of that fire, and direct it at your boss. Tell him no for a change. I’d love to see his face at that!” She meant well, always trying to look out for you and your health when it came to your beyond demanding job. You weren’t even allowed to tell her a fraction of what you were doing in your professional life, and she knew it, but that didn’t stop her from being ready to throw fists at your employer at a moment’s notice.

“One does not simply tell the über-rich that they don’t need to fly to Paris, again. Being a PA is a full-time nannying gig, except your charge is an adult who can argue when you say no, and you cannot put them on timeout when they’re being a brat. Where he goes, I go, and unless something drastic happens, it will probably continue on like that for a while.” She laughed at your jokes, and your heart hurt a little less at her glee. You knew she would never give up on you or blame you for your work being unpredictable, but that didn’t make the sting of last-minute cancels and missed outings hurt any less, for either of you.

“But it must be nice, just getting on a plane and going somewhere amazing at the drop of a hat. Travelling the world like a superstar, meeting people, having amazing adventures with mysterious strangers…”

“Easy there, Mamma Mia, your wanderlust is showing. And I’d take you with me in a heartbeat if I could. You were born to be a jetsetter, not to be stuck in this town with nothing but the office cubicle beside you to stare at. And I still think you should apply for one of those immersive culture grants you keep mooning over. They’d be fools not to fund your writing expedition!” She was an incredible person, three full degrees to her name in the time it took a normal student to get one, and a brain that could run miles around the rest of the professionals in her field. But she was tethered to this quiet backwater town, and she wasn’t free to fly like she deserved.

“You know I can’t just… go, like you can. My mom, it’d just break her heart… I don’t want to leave her alone, not after Dad,” You honestly doubted that you’d ever meet a woman more horrible and undeserving of her own daughter’s kindness. Helen was a parasite full of lies and manipulations and greed, and she had attached herself like a bad rash to your friend after she’d chased away the rest of her family members.

Your friend searched for the good in everyone, but you wished she’d stop looking for it at that home.

“You deserve your own happiness and freedom, and she should be encouraging you to spread your wings if and when you’re ready.” Politicking your friend was never something you enjoyed. She was the last person you wanted to use your negotiating credentials and sly subterfuge tactics against, but you wanted, needed, her safety and health more. You considered it almost bribery; dangling her dream future in front of her in exchange of being rid of the garbage in her life.

“Hey now, we’re getting way too deep into sad-drunk night conversations, and this is strictly a happy-fun-drunk night. Please leave all baggage and woes at the door, thank you!” You admitted your defeat and surrendered your verbal power point on Why Helen Needs to Disappear. You would get her next time for sure, give her the accelerant to burn down that bridge. “Anyways, the reason I called was to remind you of our haunt for the night. One of the girls, Kelly, you remember Kelly, found this adorable little hole in the wall. A total boys’ club apparently: darts, pool, sports games on the TV, but Kelly’s sister’s friend’s brother Tyler said the place was a favourite of the local army guys. So, if nothing else, we’ll at least have some hunks to look at for a while. It’ll be great!”

You jotted down the directions to the bar as she listed them, and the time you were expected to arrive there.

“Oh! And wear that cute little blue number you bought last spring; I know you still have it so don’t you dare lie. It makes your ass and legs look divine, and I think you could stand to make a new acquaintance tonight.” That Little Blue Number was buried in the back of your closet where you had hoped it would remain forever, but luck was not on your side tonight it seemed. But it did make you look, and feel, fantastic. It was just so… breezy. “And heels! Real ones, not your cute little personal assistant kitten heels. Those black strappy ones would work like a dream!” You just sighed dramatically into the receiver and agreed to her demands.

“I’ll let you go now, and yes, I suppose I can be presentable tonight, dress and all. See-ya later!”

---

Hole in the wall was right. This place was basically underground it was so on the D.L. It was warm inside though, and in the middle of autumn with so much skin on display, you could not be more pleased to get away from the chilled outside air.

You would describe the interior as comfortable with a hint of rustic; lots of warm dark wood and low lights, mixed with the soft Latin music crooning in the background and the few patrons’ conversations adding to the ambience.

All in all, it was probably the nicest dive bar you’d been to in your hometown.

Your party was easy to spot where they had claimed a group of pushed together tables towards the far side of the establishment, and you carefully made your way over to them in your tricky high heels.

You said your hellos to returning faces and introduced yourself to the new additions, and accepted the chair you were pointed to and the drink pressed into your hand.

And so, the hours rolled.

You had enjoyed two fruity cocktails and a flaming shot before you called it quits on the alcohol for the night. You still had a few hours to sober up enough to drive home safely, and you would be able to help the girls get to their rides and ways home too. You appreciated having a social drink or two, but you didn’t care for hangovers and would happily take slightly tipsy over party-hard drunk anytime. Plus, your contract stated you were on-call, always, and you could be required to navigate high-stress negotiations at the drop of a hat. It was just better to cut yourself off, then reap the consequences of your actions later.

You tapped your friend’s shoulder as you walked past and leaned over to talk into her ear. “I’m getting some water for the table; do you want anything else?”

“Mmmm, no I think we’re good for now, thanks!” She was plastered already, but she had a huge grin on her face and was laughing at her co-workers’ stories, so you considered it a win of a night. You gave her a pat goodbye and swayed your way to the bar.

But you just were not accounting for the uneven floorboards, or how much your heels affected your currently less than steady equilibrium, and before you could blink you were teetering over into a nasty fall.

“Whoa there, easy does it, muñequita” Arms wrapped around you and pulled you back into a warm chest. “Careful now, don’t go twisting an ankle in those fancy shoes.”

You certainly did not account for the man you turned around to face. Wow.

His hands glided respectfully from where he had caught you around the waist to your still bent and held out elbows, steadying you as you swayed dangerously again.

Warm brown eyes, soft brown curls, and the sweetest smile you’d ever seen. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest, and you knew that it wasn’t left over adrenaline from your near wipeout. He was gorgeous and handling you so gently, and you wanted to spend forever in that moment.

“Hey there, palomita, I’m Frankie, can I buy you a drink?”

[Next Part]

#triple frontier #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales #frankie morales x you #Pedro Pascal #triple frontier fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader

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kirencer · 3 years

Text

febuary seventh (i’m seeing you)

Y/n and Spencer's relationship collide around a single day: the one where they first looked into each others eyes.

[Or, the all of the secret love letters they wrote during the beginning of their relationship]

Word count: (part one and two) 9.2k

Warnings: Language

Rating: Gen audiences

A/N: it was too long for tumblr, so I broke it into two parts!! Enjoy. GN! Afab reader (it’s important, trust me)

Part Two

Y/n looked up. They had just finished reading Spencer’s journal, the one dedicated to them. Spencer was kneeling and in his hand was a small box, the dainty ring he’d gotten years ago from his mom sat in between the white.

“Will you, Y/n L/n, do me the greatest pleasure by marrying me?” Spencer said with his anxiety showing through. Y/n gasped and threw themself at Spencer, wrapping their arms tight around him.

“Yes!” they cried, pulling away for Spencer to slide the ring on their finger. Then they took a deep breath. “Wait here.”

They disappeared into the two’s bedroom, rummaging through some things before running back with a black binder in hand. “It’s only fair if you see my unsent love letters, too.”

Spencer grasped it and flipped the binder open as Y/n guided him to the couch.

“They’re in order but aren’t as neatly organized as yours - I stopped writing before you did, though.”

————————————————

For Spencer Reid, february 8th 2008 10:17 am

It was yesterday, a little more than 24 hours ago at 6 am that I was on a bus. Tiny, white and cramped, but now I realize it was actually a ferry to the love of my life. Even though at the moment all I cared about was when I was going to get to stretch my legs next, it still buzzed with excitement because I was about to be in your city even if you didn’t come to see me, that would’ve been enough. Being three feet away from you is more than enough. Being Two inches away from you is bliss. But your head on my shoulder is nirvana.

But then, only two hours after I had started my d&d campaign (the moon isles or something) there was an urge to look behind me. I tried to ignore it but I looked anyway.

What I saw scared me. Not because I’m afraid of you Spencer, but because I was scared of myself. I wanted to run to you and hug you, but I was too scared of scaring you away that I didn’t. My head seemed to spin as a second glance felt like a hundred years. Then a smile broke out on my face and I looked away. At first I didn’t think it could be you, I half screamed at the two people sitting on the left side of me. “Don’t look now, but my boyfriend’s here” of course they looked and Sophia told me that you were walking over here.

My insecurities flared up, but I remembered that you love me, even though I'm tired and probably covered in acne. She said you sat down behind me and I risked a quick glance, or two, or three times every two minutes. I tried to act as normal as possible even though if I looked back I would see the smile that lifted your cheeks when I looked at you. It was hard to focus on my campaign because it’s cliche, but I could sense you behind me and I was shaking. My friends were hyping me up to say Hi and I was trying to not scream. I ran to the bathroom, splashed water on my face and tried to calm down. I ran back, probably looking a little too excited. Ok, I was totally too excited.

My campaign finished up, you caught me staring at you a few times and my friends told me you were looking at me anytime we all made a loudish noise. After that, you followed us to lunch, well, followed me. You stood beside me and I said Hi, you replied the same. Then you grabbed your stuff and seemed to have left. I visibly deflated, my one chance to see you and I missed it. Then you came back, with a takeout bag in hand and some fries. I didn’t mention it already but you looked adorable in your glasses, from afar they look too big for you but then you see the big warm eyes behind them. Your cheekbones are so nice and everything about you is handsome, even more than I could have imagined. Photographs don’t do you justice. I hoped you had liked your dice, I got the red and black ones but I was scared you didn’t like yours.

You sat directly in front of me and my friends (Deriasia and Emma) immediately made fun of me and I almost died. At that moment. When you smiled and laughed. My friends gave us their blessing, which kinda fit because you were as tense as if you were meeting my parents.

I asked you to sit with me during the next campaign and you did (we snuck you in without paying). You played with the first character I ever played (Bida the high elf wizard). I was almost too distracted to really compete in all the things, instead focusing on you. You let me use your journal to doodle, a weird eye and a girl. Did you notice me fiddling with my hands? If I didn't keep them busy I probably would’ve put my hands in your hair or grab your hand. I remember you asking me if I needed a hug. I said yes and I think that hug is the most important one I've ever had. You laid on me and I didn’t care what my friends would say, all that matters was you.

My skin in two weeks will not remember the feel of your hair, my lips will not remember your cheek, but my brain forever will. At that moment, physical immortality is not as important as the immortalization of those touches.

They linger in my head, fuzzy and soft on my skin but they’re there.

I remember you telling me not to buy you anything (i still got you a resin skull magnet and dice) I remember flirting with you, i remember it all. I remember how you know all of Sappho’s poems and fragments, I want to remember everything about you. I know I won’t, you’re the one with the crazy good memory, after all.

I wish I would’ve looked in your eyes and told you that I saw you. I wish I would’ve pressed my lips to yours, but then again there’s always next time. And next time I will, even if it’s right in front of the whole world. Because I love you. I really fucking love you and everyone can suck it. I love you.

And I think that’s all that matters.

____

I have waited almost six months to hold you in my arms, and now I wait longer. I hate myself, I didn't hug you. I should’ve.

I didn’t tell you I love you enough, I didn’t kiss you properly. I wish I did.

Currently my arms ache to hold you, my eyes burn to see you and my lips yearn to touch yours. I can’t wait to indulge myself in thousands of kisses, I hope they are as sweet as your skin. Kinda licked my lips after kissing your nose, cheek, and right under your neck. You taste sweet, I think I'm addicted.

I still feel the ghosts of your touch on my skin, I love it. I love you. I want to have your actual skin under my fingertips, to hold you when you wake up from a bad dream, to dance with you under the stars. Decide what song is ours and argue over how cheesy it is. Cry on the day we say our vows, cry at the birth of our first child, cry when they go to school, cry when they grow up, cry when I realize that we did it. I can’t wait to have life with you.

If there’s such a thing as soulmates then the word was made to describe us.

I love you.

____

I fell asleep, I woke up right before you texted me. I dreamt about you, in my mind I fell asleep with you in my arms. In my mind I am sitting in a cafe, right across from you drinking tea.

I prefer it to real life, by about an infinite percent. My friend came in and basically yelled at me to let him use my box, I told him to fuck off. I know I won’t be able to fall back asleep but I do hope to continue my dream tonight. Currently im trying to believe that you think i’m “stunning” it’s starting to work it’s way into my mind that i’m not ugly.

Spencer, I love you.

You have such an effect on me, the first week we were together you weaseled your way into my mind. You sprouted a tree that is still a sapling but has rooted to the core of my mind, slipping into my heart and spreading through my limbs. You’re almost a drug (the only one I approve of).

You’re poison, searing through my veins and warning my skin. But you’re not toxic, you’re candy, sugary sweet, something tangible that almost floats in and out of existence.

If you are a God, I am your most loyal patron.

____

Time is meaningless but it goes so fast, only eight minutes left to talk then my day ends. So many more ‘I love you’s I could say.

But time will not permit our love, that’s fine, I’ll wait it out till the end.

You’re worth it.

Seven Minutes

____

You always deny that you’re adorable, and that’s so adorable.

It’s frustrating sometimes because you’re so beautiful you deserve to know it. But oh well, i’ll just have to prove you are.

I told you I’d rather go on a date with you first before doing anything sexual. you also deserve to know your love is all I need, not your body (that’s just a perk)

You’re hot, sue me!

____

In the shower, I have most of my daydreams. Ranging from cotton candy clouds to a place where my parents accept me. However, the best daydream i’ve ever had is about a boy. A boy with chocolate brown eyes and a beautiful smile. Ding Ding Ding, his name is Spencer.

My dream is about his last name, well it involves it. I imagine myself talking to him while I say an important speech, in front of a crowd of people. I’m talking about our relationship, about how much I love you, and how much I can’t wait for the next chapter of our life to start. I always tear up when everyone is quiet at the end, and then you say what you have to say. It’s fuzzy and I don’t remember any of it (kinda want you to make your own in the future) but after you say it. It's time.

You say two words, so low only I and the person standing next to us can hear, “I do”

That’s the best day dream I’ve ever had, because I know it won’t be just a dream (I hope)

____

The best part of my day is looking at any photos from you: they always make me smile. Even when my day has been utterly terrible, your bright eyes are always a light in the dark.

I often don’t even need to think about you to have your smile in my mind, it’s just there, like a constant bright sunshiny beam. A single thought about you makes my day, a single touch my year, remembering that you’re mine makes my life a whole much better.

You, make living better.

I live for you, you’re all I ever want to have.

Je suis fou amoureux de toi.

____

So uh, you might have noticed but I don’t know how to talk to people, let alone talk to you.

It’s not that I have nothing to say, I have too much to say. It all bubbles in my mind and makes me jump on topic every three seconds. But when it comes to you, I'm stuck on which way to tell you I love you.

So, how about all of them?

I don’t need to focus on a single part of your face to know that it’s beautiful, but I do. All the parts work in harmony, like a choir. But individually they are still beautiful. I love every single inch of your face, individually and together.

I love you for your personality, I fell in love with a genius who is so much more than his memory or intelligence. Then I fell in love with a sweet boy who whined when I said self deprecating things. When we first met, I instantly fell in love again, with a shy boy who would look up at me from under his lashes.

Fuck, my mind is racing too much to distinguish anymore. But, I hoped I showed you.

That, I love you now, and forever will.

Happy Valentine’s day, my love.

____

Happy anniversary, god I can’t believe it’s been five months already. It seems just yesterday I was crying over whether or not I should continue liking you (i had told myself I wasn’t good enough for you).

Well, turns out I was wrong. I’m just enough for you. It doesn’t matter to me anymore if you’ll ever leave me, well, it does, `but there’s something more important, you being loved and being happy is what matters. And I can’t wait to give you what matters.

I love you babe! I’ll try to write more to show it.

____

My mind is a cavern of echoes, words (well a name) revertibrating in my skull.

The things used to be about art, school, anything slightly important.

But now, it’s filled with the most important person in my life. Analyzing the color of his hair (a warm brown), thinking of his eyes, thinking of his name and my name with a change; Spencer Reid (and sometimes Y/n Reid) has taken over my mind and burrowed into my soul.

I think if the red string of fate was real then we’d have been connected when we first met. Fuck, we are connected.

If we weren’t why would I have fallen in love with you? It was fate that I sent a letter to a wrong address, fate that I stumbled upon the boy that would change my life for the better.

Our souls are connected, being pulled because of the distance though, and I can’t wait to be with you. Not two halves of a whole, but two souls that fit like a puzzle piece.

I love you, and you love me. Even though I'm a coward.

When we have a daughter, her name should be Rhiannon. We will both dote on her like the goddess she is. Just a thought :>

____

You were in my house today. I think I'm dying, I'm wearing your sweater. It smells like you. I think you left it behind on purpose.

You smell really nice. It’s not like a cologne or anything, but it's nice. You’re nice

You kissed me. You’re a really good kisser. You should do it again and again and again.

I got the news yesterday, my transfer went in, I'm sending my letter to you tomorrow. I know you’re in my city but I'd rather it be like this.

I don’t think i'm going to write any more, don’t think that means i don’t love you!!

I am going to hold you for hours, I promise, I love you.

————————————————

Spencer finished reading and smiled up at his new fiance. “We were such dorks! It's crazy how similar we thought.”

Y/n nodded and looked down at their ring. “We were dorks in love! Um, so how do you feel about the name Rhiannon?”

“It’s pretty, but I don’t think we need to be worrying about baby names - we need to figure out how to tell my team we’re engaged.” Spencer quipped, wrapping his arms around Y/n before it hit him.

Y/n’s morning sickness, the weird secretive doctors appointment, and what they had just said. “No!” he whispers, a smile growing on his face, “I’m gonna be a dad?”

They nod and bury their head into Spencer’s chest. Spencer can’t stop the smile that beams across his face. He grabs Y/n and spins them around in his arms, “This is the best news!!”

He pressed a deep kiss to Y/n’s lips, then went onto his knees to wrap his arms around Y/n. “Jason Derek Reid if it’s a boy and Rhiannon Penelope Reid if it’s a girl.”

Y/n smiles and nods, “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Let’s be on the same page, forever from now on, okay?”

They nodded, Spencer’s hands finding place on their back as he pressed his lips right below Y/n’s navel. Y/n’s hand’s dug into his hair: “Forever.”

Years later the two do indeed wake up on a Saturday morning to impatient kids who demand to be made pancakes. Sometimes after a hard case they do dance at three am in their underwear. Sometimes they do a lot of things in their underwear. They’re together in every way imaginable.

And to them? It’s the most important thing that could ever be possible.

The End

part one

#spencer x you #spencer reid x reader #ao3 #reader insert #writing #pregnancy

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dog-teeth · 3 years

Note

I asked this question before but I think it got eaten plus I wanna add to it anyways because. Oversharing to strangers online woo hoo

How did you figure out you were genderfluid? I'm an AFAB nonbinary but I'm still feminine leaning (I have trauma with he/him pronouns and being called a boy cause I got bullied for looking like a [t slur]) and go by they/them and suffer a lot of dysphoria at times, but sometimes I dont feel much dysphoria if at all and feel much more comfortable with she/her. I worry that if I say I'm gonna try to use she/they pronouns everyone will just call me a she/her and assume I was lying even though I'd prefer they/them in most settings... I dunno I also just struggle with validation or just knowing these things so lmk if this sounds like. Genderfluid stuff or if I'm just overthinking JFNDIFNW

being nonbinary is different to each person, and so is being genderfluid. i think people often forget that being nonbinary is not one monolithic, completely-androgynous gender. it’s definitely normal to have your dysphoria fluctuate, both in how intense it is & how it affects your gender presentation (like pronouns). you don’t have to use the label of genderfluid just because you feel dysphoria differently at different times and use different pronouns at other times. that’s normal and fine for any nonbinary person. but that also is a genderfluid thing, and if you identify with the label, and you think it helps you explain yourself, go ahead and use it!! that’s fine!! labels serve the purpose of helping people explain how they feel, both for self-understanding and to communicate with other people. you’re free to use no labels, or try different ones out, it’s fine if you don’t want to use them later! your description does seem like you could be genderfluid, & remember that both genderfluid and nonbinary are umbrella terms and highly individual experiences, so however you feel & relate to them is fine! there’s also words like demigirl (gender between or mixing female and nonbinary) & genderfae (genderfluid but never feeling masculine/male-aligned). but anything you want to use to call urself is fine!

as for pronouns, i know it’s hard to feel confident in asserting your identity and how you want other people to refer to you, but it’s totally fine to use both sets of pronouns and speak up about what makes you most comfortable. people who respect you will do their best to use your pronouns and won’t think you’re lying or faking. if they do, they’re transphobic, and you don’t need their understanding or approval to be valid. it’s ok to have a complex relationship with gender and presentation.

personally, i started leaning more into the genderfluid label when i realized i had been trying to find the right label for myself for years and none of them felt completely right, and i felt very differently at different points in time, both in the long-term and short-term. i felt like i could never pin it down. i still don’t even identify 100% as genderfluid - i’m too genderweird to feel fully explained by one label, or even multiple! i also use the terms genderqueer, agender, genderfaun, & trans, and i also feel like none of these words fully describe my gender, and trying to use words for it doesn’t always work. the way i feel gender and dysphoria changes a lot (although its been more consistent recently, but i don’t trust it to stay in one place too long), and what i want for my gender presentation / for how ppl perceive me also changes, again this is a general nonbinary thing and a genderfluidity thing.

tldr; you could be genderfluid and this is also normal for nonbinary people and u can do whatever u want

#i took a bong rip a few minutes ago so i really hope this makes sense and isnt rambling #long post #transphobia tw #ez answers #advice #gender stuff #Anonymous

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ichayalovesyou · 3 years

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Hey so from your blog I understand you are neurodivergent? Correct me if I'm wrong. If you are, sometimes I wonder if I have Asperger's Syndrome. When I look back on my childhood there are some questionable aspects that I got over, I think, but with a lot of effort. For example I used to watch the same movie over and over again till I had big chunks of it memorized and I played it in my head when I went to sleep? And I was obsessed with puzzles, I did and redid them many times. And lots of repetitive things. Also I don't know if I was just being sensitive or something, but I always cried at the tiniest disapproval of adults.

I'm sorry if this comes off as stereotypical, but those are things my peers found weird and not actually "normal" and it was pretty hard for me to get over them.

Lol I don't even know where this is going, I guess I'd like to see some insights from a neurodivergent person, because I've never had the chance to interact with one. How did you figure out you were neurodivergent? Can a person on the autism spectrum learn to communicate effectively with other people on their own? (because I think I can do that, but it's not always a pleasure haha).

Feel free not to respond to this, I don't want to bother, but you seem..... Approachable😂. I'm not one of those people who self-diagnose through an internet quiz and try to make themselves appear special....You know the ones. I'm genuinely curious haha. I'm probably fine, it would still be interesting to see your response. Thanks.

I’m going to be perfectly real with you

I do not have an official diagnosis for anything aside from “generalized anxiety” but I only got the chance (until very recently) to get therapy for a year.

But I do feel like there’s a difference between wanting to feel “special” and going into self-diagnosis territory half-cocked. And looking at your life, tallying up the evidence, making an educated guess, and then making an effort on finding out whether or not you’re guess is correct from a professional.

For instance, in my case (I’m about to get into “tragic” backstory stuff just to give a clear picture):

I come from an emotionally abusive situation in which, even when I had teachers, pediatricians or other moms suggest I (at the very least) had ADHD my mother got offended, denied it and insisted I was fine. In fact, the only way in which she has treated my as any sort of neurodivergent is the “generalized anxiety” diagnosis I got from the six months of therapy I got 7 years ago. Even then she uses it as a tool to invalidate my feelings. She never considered it may be a symptom rather than a source until my baby brother got diagnosed with autism.

My family has a loooooong history of autism/adhd and other mental illnesses, all of my siblings and cousins above the age of 3 have one or both, I also wouldn’t be surprised if my father has autism and my mother has ADHD even if they went undiagnosed from the same stigma that kept my mother from getting me help (and only getting my younger sibling help when essentially forced by the school system.)

It was only really when my brother exhibited behaviors and got an autism diagnosis (and my mother and I started reading up on the topic) that I realized just how many of my behaviors were associated with textbook autism. I looked at my baby brother and I saw myself, the biggest difference between us is that I was hyper verbal (talking a bit before 18 months) and he was totally nonverbal until he was almost three (both of which, are symptoms of autism) that I really considered the possibility. Even my mother suggested I may be right, better late then never I guess.

I exhibit many of the exact behaviors you describe that are associated with both adhd and autism, I lined up toys, I drew the same picture on one sheet over and over. I take comfort in compulsively watching movies and shows over and over, I (for lack of a better words) stim sing and use movie quotes and references as eccholalia as stress relievers (especially in new social situations). I cried at the drop of a hat, when I was angry I’d repeatedly hurt myself by banging my head and arms against the myself or walls. I also do the “happy flappy arms” when I’m excited or nervous, I have a special interest in writing and making music (I have a hard time thinking about pretty much anything else). I had lots of trouble socially until about high school and none of my friends are neurotypical (or straight lol). So, I think it’s safe to say that I am either on the spectrum, have ADHD (which exhibits a lot of similar symptoms).

When I found this out, I started treating myself like I had these things instead of beating myself up for being “weird” and my mental health improved significantly. Mind you, it’s still not great because I am not (yet) in therapy and live in an overcrowded, emotionally abusive household, but I am making concerted efforts to remedy both. I’ve got my first therapy session in almost a decade arranged for next week and plan on moving in with another, less crowded, less abusive parent.

The best thing I can suggest is, read up on what you think you may have, look at the symptoms, compare them to you’re own, write it down, write how you feel about it. But more importantly read other people’s experiences with autism and ADHD, while medical professionals can help you get access to diagnosis and (if you need it) medication, sometimes the personal aspects get lost in the machine. At the same time of course be careful who you listen to, there are a lot of organizations and people out there who want to “help” by trying to force us to act “normal”, acting neurotypical does NOT equal living to enjoying your life to its fullest potential. On the flipside there of course people out there with and without diagnosis that will promote unhealthy thinking patterns and coping mechanisms, you’ve got to think critically and decide what is best for you.

Not all of us can get therapy, not all of us will get diagnosed even if we do, especially if you’re AFAB and have autism, or if you’re “well behaved” (ie pass as neurotypical) we slip through the cracks all the time. Try to get therapy anyway, a diagnosis can be really helpful (but in the case of autism it can also be detrimental because of the sheer amount of ableism around it, again, read other people’s experiences).

It’s okay to act on the idea that something is wrong, you know when something isn’t right with you, not even your parents can define that for you (I learned that the hard way). As long as you don’t wallow in it, operating under the assumption you have autism and/or adhd, using the tried and true coping mechanisms, being gentle with yourself, can be very, very helpful.

Hope this helped <3 💚🖖🏻💚

#personal log #serious post #ask ichayalovesyou #adhd #autism #autism self-help #self advocacy #tw emotional abuse #believe yourself when your body tells you you’re not fine #believe it #autism/adhd #self help #get therapy #but be careful #critical thinking #self love #advice

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oli-iw · 3 years

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TALKING ABOUT GENDER TRANSITION

The use of vocabulary like “they identify as a woman / man / non-binary” and “they prefer she/her / he/him / they/them pronouns” invalidates transgender identities by implying that they are up for debate.

I found this diagram on the Instagram account of Schuyler Bailar, a transgender American swimmer. He also had a very helpful list of transgender-related vocabulary on his website.

Transgender – an adjective that describes a person who does not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth.

Cisgender – an adjective that describes a person who identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth.

Transition – any step(s) a person takes to affirm their gender identity; this may or may not include changes in one’s name, pronouns, physical appearance, taking hormones, undergoing surgery, among many other things. There is no one way to transition.

Sex – usually refers to biology, but there is no one way to define biological sex. Most people attempt to define biological sex one way (usually with external genitalia or chromosomes), but the reality is there are five main major components of biological sex: chromosomes, hormones, expression of hormones, internal genitalia, and external genitalia. Most folks exist in within two binaries of classically ‘male’ and ‘female,’ but biological sex is a spectrum, and many people exist between the two main categories. These folks are called “intersex.” There is nothing wrong with their bodies, this is just a normal and natural expression of human biological diversity.

Intersex – an adjective used to describe someone born with reproductive anatomy that does not fit typical definitions of “male” or “female.” There is nothing wrong with their bodies, this is just a normal and natural expression of human biological diversity. It’s important to realize that intersex anatomy isn’t always discovered at birth! Sometimes a person isn’t found to have intersex anatomy until puberty, or finds themselves infertile as an adult, or even until a post-mortem autopsy. Some people live and die with intersex anatomy without anyone (including themselves) ever knowing they are intersex.

Gender (identity) – the gender that a person is born with; a part of who someone is. This does not have to match “biological sex,” though it often does as most people are not transgender.

Gender expression – a societal box we check or don’t to try to communicate our gender with others. This is culturally, temporally, and geographically constrained and is best defined by social construct.

Trans man – a person assigned female at birth but identifies as male.

Trans woman – a person assigned male at birth but identifies as female.

Transvestite/crossdresser – a person who portrays the “opposite” gender expression, but who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth.

Cis guy/man – a person who was assigned male at birth and identifies as male.

Cis girl/woman – a person who was assigned female at birth and identifies as female.

FTM* – this stands for “Female to Male” and it refers to people assigned female at birth but who identify as male. I personally have grown to dislike this term because it implies that I was once female, which does not feel accurate. Of course, I was assigned female at birth, and haven’t always had the language or resources or safety to explain my identity as man, but I have always felt like a boy, like myself.

Trans masculine (abv: trans masc) – a person who was assigned female at birth but identifies on the masculine end of gender expression (this is usually considered more a inclusive and less rigid term than “trans man”/”trans male.”)

MTF* – this stands for “Male to Female” and it refers to people assigned male at birth but identify as female.

Trans feminine (abv: trans femme) – a personal who was assigned male at birth but identifies on the feminine side of the gender spectrum (again, this is usually considered more a inclusive and less rigid term than “trans woman.”)

Nonbinary – describes someone who does not identify within the gender binary. For some folks this means identifying somewhere between the binary ”ends” (male and female), for some it means identifying as a combination of genders, and for others it means feeling a complete lack of a gender. For many folks, being nonbinary entails liberation from the stereotypes and gender roles attached to the gender they were assigned at birth. Note: Many folks use the term “enby” as a short term for nonbinary. This is the spelling of the abbreviation “NB” but folks have strayed away from using “NB” to refer to nonbinary folks as “NB” is used more widely as an abbreviation for non-Black folks.

(Gender) Dysphoria – the discomfort or distress that arises from the incongruence of gender identity and gender assigned at birth.

Top surgery – a mastectomy for transmasculine folks, a “masculinization” of chest. Often includes nipple grafts.

Bottom surgery – surgery to change the genitalia of one’s body. Previously referred to as “sex reassignment surgery” or “genital reassignment surgery,” but bottom surgery is a more inclusive term that also doesn’t medicalize the experience quite as much. Many trans folks dislike the “sex-reassignment” terminology as well as this is an inaccurate representation of what ‘sex’ is. Biological sex is more than just one’s genitals.

HRT – hormone replacement therapy — usually testosterone for trans masc folks, and estrogen for trans femme folks.

T or E – common abbreviations for testosterone and estrogen, respectively.

Womxn – in the 1970s feminists who wanted to remove the word ‘men’ from the word ‘women’ began using ‘womyn.’ This quickly became associated with (cisgender) white feminism and thus ‘womxn’ was adopted in an attempt to be inclusive of women of color and trans women. However this effort has backfired in many ways, namely through implicitly asserting that the original word ‘women’ is not inclusive women of color and trans women, which is false. Trans women are women. Women of color are women. Thus, I’d advise NOT using this term because it is often too loaded. If you mean to call out trans women or women of color or cis women specifically, do so.

Misgender –the act of referring to someone in a way that does not reflect that person’s gender identity. For example, using incorrect pronouns, calling someone by an old name (a deadname), using an incorrect prefix (e.g. Mr. or Ms.). Misgendering can be especially painful for trans individuals because it calls forth a history of not being seen as who we truly are.

Deadname – refers to the name someone was given or used before they transitioned and/or discovered their true gender identity. This term is an adjustment to the term, ‘birth name” for a few reasons, namely that these names are dead. Some people also feel that when deadnamed, a small part of them dies. Like misgendering, deadnames often drag forth a great deal of pain and trauma for trans folks of having to live as someone they are not. Some folks also refer to deadnames as “old names.”

*I noticed that this list doesn’t include AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth) or AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth).

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