#I dont think I'll ever be able to forget this fic like ever even if i tried my best to

[ikigaisvt]

seventeen as tropes – vocal unit

starring: jeonghan, joshua, jihoon, dokyeom & seungkwan + gn!reader / (mention of mingyu in dk's) words count: 3.5k in total (between 400 - 800 each, expect seungkwan's 1.3k..,,.,..,, dont comment on that pls) content: fluff, non-idol!au warnings: everything is soft tbh? skinship (cheek kiss, kissing, holding hands), teasing, pining, rivalry, shitty team mates/friends, crying, lots of blushing lmao, very very very very sappy note: seventeen as tropes has been sitting in my drafts since 2022 and i'm FINALLY letting it out,, i hope everyone enjoy it! i decided to post it by units or else the post would get Too long (i already went off on this one lmao) don't worry hhu unit and pfu unit is already in the making hehe >.< pls don't come for me if some members have more words than others! inspiration isn't going to be the same for every tropes so i hope everyone can keep that mind! minors can interact with this fic but please don't follow or i'll hard block you. ignore any mistakes pls my brain is Dead rn,,, pls enjoy this piece of mine and don't forget to leave a like/reblog/comment! mwah mwah mwah good reading~

Jeonghan: Blind date

Jeonghan never loses bets and everyone in his friend group knows that which is why no one ever makes bets with him. He is just an extremely lucky person and he can always get his way out of any situation; expect when the person he made a bet with is Joshua – I taught him too well, he thinks to himself. It’s all because of a lost bet that he finds himself going on a blind date on this Thursday afternoon. That was the bet – to go on a blind date with someone the other picked. To say he was nervous was an understatement. All he’s hoping for is that Joshua didn’t prank him and sent like Seungkwan as his date. That would be awkward, he thinks as he makes his way quicker to the café.

As for you? Well, here you are, waiting for Joshua’s friend in this new café that opened in the neighbor. You don’t really know what went through your mind when you agreed to this blind date; something about Joshua’s words, probably. He can be a bit too convincing at times, something he apparently learned from this special friend – Jeonghan. You’ve never met the guy but oh have you heard countless stories about him. You know he’s one of Joshua’s closest friends so maybe you won’t get a relationship out of this but you will be able to talk about Joshua’s weird antics – in hopes Jeonghan isn’t worse, somehow, than your best friend.

You’re lost in your thoughts when a voice softly calls your name. You look up to see the most beautiful man ever and he quickly introduces himself as Jeonghan, as he sits down in front of you. You don’t really notice how Jeonghan looks at you, like you’re the most beautiful human he has ever seen or how a slight blush creeps up on his ears. And Jeonghan doesn’t notice the blush on your cheeks or how you slightly smile to yourself every time he tells you something. You two talk for hours; complaining about Joshua’s behavior – and you don’t let Jeonghan get away with turning him into a little devil, talking about how cute Sylvanian families are – he even shows you the ones he has, he rants about Legos, too, while he lets you tell him about that last book you read – something about a fae prince and a human falling in love. The staffs at the café breaks you both out of your conversation, letting you know they are closing in 10 minutes – it’s only when she comes around that you realize you are the only customers left. You quickly gather your stuffs, expecting to say goodbye to Jeonghan in front of the café but he naturally walks you back to your place. It’s when you’re leaned on your front door that he asks for your number – I thought he would never make a move, and he promises to see you soon before leaning in to give you a kiss on your cheek. It’s only when Jeonghan leaves you that he realizes luck was, once again, on his side.

Joshua: Coworkers

You’re very grateful for your coworkers at your new job. It’s only been a few months since you joined the finance team at this new company but everyone treats you like you have been part of the team for a long time. Everyone helps you out in new tasks, especially Joshua. Whenever you have to do something you aren’t used to, Joshua comes running to help you out and he cheers you up every time you have a hard time. You never really questioned how he acts as you always thought he was just being nice – as he is with anyone else. However, as your coworkers have known him longer than you, they know how you always get a special treatment from him; he makes you coffee when you start working and after lunch, he brings you your favorite chocolate, he prints out your folders for you and makes sure you always have your favorite pens working. His crush on you is known to everyone but you.

That all comes to light on a company dinner where Joshua special dots on you even in a restaurant far from work – he gets you food, fills up your plate and your glasses, lends you his jacket when you get cold and even offer to walk you home. All of these little attention gets him teased by your coworkers while you are still as oblivious as before. Joshua wears a profound blush on his ears all night but once again, you still don’t notice the pink tint of his ears (you honestly think it’s a cause of his drinking) and Joshua is entirely too happy about you being so clueless.

A few hours later he walks you home – as he promised. However, you surprise him by asking why everyone was teasing him back there. He stumbles on his words, the blush going to his cheeks until he finally admits it’s because he has a crush on you ever since you walked into the office on your first day. And now you’re the one with the blush, stuttering an answer – I like you too, but Joshua takes you by surprise by kissing you.

Jihoon: Acquaintances

You have known Jihoon since middle school; he was just always around in your group of friends and yet you didn’t know him at all. All you knew about him is that he liked music and as much as you thought he was nice, you never thought about making friends with him – if you didn’t all this time, why now? But when you’re in your first year of college, walking into your liberal arts class and you see only one familiar face – Jihoon’s, you walk up to him because it’s always good to know someone in every classes – to get notes or for future project.

So, you put on your best smile, sit down next to him – hope to god he remembers you – while starting to rant about how glad you are he’s here. However, all you’re met with is a blushing and stuttering Jihoon; “Sorry, I- uh- I forgot to water my dog- I mean, no- Forgot to give water to my dog! Bye!” before he runs out of the auditorium. It’s an understatement to say you are confused about his behavior, hoping he doesn’t secretly hate you – and is currently at the college’s administration to beg for a transfer. He’s cute, after all.

Next week, you are standing in front of the door of that same auditorium wondering if you’re going to find Jihoon in there. You don’t give yourself time to run away, pushing the door open and promising yourself to try and make a friend in this class today. You sit down, not trying to find Jihoon among the students. You didn’t even finish pulling out your laptop that the chair beside you is pushed back – Someone sat down next to me! – and you look to see who your new best friend is, only to see Jihoon looking at you, smiling. He greets you, asks you how your morning went before apologizing for last week – something about him being stressed. You let him know it’s alright – you can’t just hold grudges against him. And he’s cute today too. That’s how you two become friends after more than 10 years of being in each other’s life – or like background. And so, because Jihoon never feels like he apologizes enough, he does anything you ask of him for weeks: he buys you food, lends you his notes, makes you playlists but most importantly, when you ask to see his studio, he accepts.

On a Friday night, he picks you up and you two walk together to the studio, as you ask him about music – all these years, you always saw him with a guitar or humming songs and yet you never knew how it all started. And so, he answers all your questions, he talks, again and again, he tells you everything because it’s you. When you get to the studio, you walk around, touching every instrument, asking more questions while he sets up his computer. He goes out for a moment – letting you know you can play around on his computer – to pick up dinner at the fast food down the street. Of course, you take his offer, settling down on his chair and you open Youtube, play some songs before trying to make a simple track. It’s when you open his files to add one of his samples that you stumble across a file named after you; you can’t resist the urge to open it, finding songs after songs – Run to you, Darl+ing, Lean On Me, Adore U.

Jihoon comes in a few minutes after, the computer still shining with all these songs. And that’s when he knows – he knows he can’t hide it anymore, he knows all these years he spent at a distance from you can’t happen again, he knows he has to tell you. So, he tells you – he never talked this much in a night – he tells you he always liked you, he never forgot that first day he saw you in middle school, he explains how much he tried to not be in your life but he always felt himself be pulled in. He confesses that’s how he started music – because nothing but this could describe what he feels in his chest when you’re there. And you have tears in your eyes, you feel like your heart is going to implode from the love he gives you and you tell him; someway, somehow, your life has always felt empty when he was missing. When college came around you were scared you were never going to see him again. So, when you saw him, you knew this was destiny. You knew the world pulled strings for you two. (You spend the night at his studio, listening to every song he made for you while you two build a new world together.)

Dokyeom: Love at first sight/Meet cute

Dokyeom knows it; he’s in love. Okay, he hasn’t been in love before but he is pretty damn sure if love is something then it’s this; your chest tightens, you feel tingles in your stomach and you can’t stop looking at everything they do. That’s what he feels right now, when he sees you reading your book in that coffee shop.

He’s here with his best friend who tries so hard to get his attention but nothing can make him look away. I’m not being a weirdo, he reassures himself. You’re just so pretty, sitting there while reacting to that book – at one point, he saw tears pooling in your eyes – while you sip on your tea, your headphones on. You stay there, reading away while he watches you, then stops looking when he feels like you’ll notice him but he finds himself looking at you soon enough, never being able to really stop.

It's when you get up, making your way to the bathroom that he breaks from his daze – I need to get a grip. So, he focuses on his best friend’s rant, listening, actually answering his questions. But when he misses you, he looks back to your spot only to find it empty, only your book left behind. He gets up immediately and make his way to your spot, not even caring about Mingyu’s complaint. He picks up your book – Me Before You, he reads – and hurriedly makes his way out of the café. As he looks around, trying to find you, he notices you at the end of the street, a few meters away, waiting to cross the road. He runs up to you, not wanting to let you get away and as he gets to your level, he gets weirdly nervous; it’s not like he’s gonna make any move, right? He lightly taps your shoulder to get your attention. You turn around, a natural smile hanging on your lips as an answer. Dokyeom feels his heart beat faster right away and he knows it’s not even the nervousness, it’s you – Hi, uh- I- I was in that café, he starts as he points behind himself, I think that’s yours, he says as he holds out the book between the two of you. Immediately, you react, your face twisting in something between surprise and gratitude as you grab it and you never stop thanking him, again and again, asking him how you can repay him. Nothing, he answers, stars in his eyes knowing he will never be that close to the sun again, just- enjoy that book, okay? he finishes, turning around to go back to his best friend and his cappuccino. He walks slowly, almost as he expects you to catch up to him, almost as he wants you to – and he does. It’s when he pulls the door of the café open that he feels a light touch on his shoulder, his body reacting to you before his eyes can even see you. His lips pull up, his eyes shine again and he turns around, his heart reacting the same way again, before you extend a piece of paper between your bodies, stuttering; You forgot something too, the blush on your ears deepens, my number.

Seungkwan: Rivals

Seungkwan has always loved badminton; at this point, he talks about it so often, the whole school knows. Which you might be bitter about – only because you don’t like sharing something in common with him – but it’s only normal people do know about it; after all, he’s the captain of the boy’s badminton team. Now, what people of this school don’t know is that there is also a girl’s badminton team in the school – however, they are about to know. You have been leading the team so well, even though it has only been two years since it first got together, that you now get to share the court in your school’s sports hall to practice with your girls. Your coach – which is also the boy’s team, also lets you know that you’ll be meeting the other team every 2 weeks for friendly matches so the girls could improve in their skills.

It's the next day when you walk onto the court, already prepared for practice – you just need to take care of a few things as you are the team captain. Unfortunately, you stumble onto Seungkwan when you least expect it – you thought the team had classes at this time (not that you know his schedule, of course). Seungkwan doesn’t understand what you’re doing on his ground and he asks you to leave or else he will tell the coach – as if he had any kind of weight on her. Go tell the coach I’m here, go, you scoff at him, knowing she will only let him know what’s really going on. A few minutes later he comes back, the coach by his side, as he rolls his eyes at, probably, the thought of sharing anything with you.

And that’s how the rivalry between the two of you gets worse – if that was even possible. Your team meet every other day, practicing side by side and sharing laughter – expect you and Seungkwan. You both make your possible to annoy each other – you take the best spot first, you help the coach, you give advices to his team mates, you even go as far as to use him as something not to do on the field. On his side, he refuses to say your name, he keeps reprimanding your girls, he even says how even a toddler could play better than you and even go as far as to flirt with your team mate. Fortunately, even through all this fight with him, you and your girls train hard and your skills are rapidly improving. Time passes by so fast and it’s already time for your first match against the boys. You gather your team, let them know you believe in them and to not get intimidated by their playing – they are going to play hard and we need to hit back as much as them. It’s when Seungkwan sees you like this, so serious, so sure of yourself and so proud of your team, even when they lose points that he notices you in a different way. The way you burn with passion and yet how your eyes still shine with love when one of your team needs words of encouragement. He didn’t think he would ever feel like this but right now, you are distracting him from the match. And nothing, distract him from badminton.

The match is fierce, the room is burning with pride and want for the win; which the girls get. You cheer again and again, even the boys are congratulating your team – only Seungkwan doesn’t as he gathers his stuff and leaves first – which somehow, stings. You think it’s because his pride is hurt but it’s only because he can’t bear to see you anymore when he feels like this – heart fluttering, lips forming into a smile – at the sight of you.

The training keeps going after that win, the matches too; you keep annoying him and he does too, even though is comments are more helpful than anything; don’t do it like this, you’ll get hurt or even tell them to coordinate their moves, it will make them better – but you don’t notice, you only do the contrary of what he wants you to. The 5th match comes faster than any of you expect and you fight for the win with your team – you haven’t won these past 3 ones and it’s taking a toll on the team spirit – but the luck isn’t on your side when you sprain your ankle. The match stops as soon as you yelp, your team mates too surprised to react right away. Through the pain, you open your eyes when you feel a hand touch at your ankle delicately, trying to evaluate how hurt you are. You expect to see your coach but you meet a pair of brown worried eyes – Seungkwan. Are you hurt somewhere else? he asks softly, before turning around and telling everyone else to give you space, talk to me, please, he pleads, his big brown eyes fixed on your face. The after shock of the fall passes by as you stutter; why do you care? before asking for two of your team members to help to the infirmary – the coach letting everyone know the match is postponed, as you go through the door.

A few hours later you’re sat down on the cold bed, waiting for one of your friends to get out of class so she can drive you home – two weeks without walking and a month with no badminton, at least, the nurse told you earlier, but please go see a doctor, she finished before leaving you alone in the room to rest. You’re lost in your thoughts when you hear a knock on the door, thinking it’s your friend that’s here to bring you back home – finally. You’re more than surprised when you’re met with Seungkwan’s figure at the door as he asks you if he can come in, which you answer with a nod. He walks in and sats down on the chair at the end of the bed; what did she say? he asks, nervous at the thought of talking to you normally – and also, at the thought of not seeing you for practice anymore. 2 weeks with crutches and a month without playing, at best, you whisper, trying to fight back the tears. Oh- I’m so sorry, he says, sounding sincere. It’s not like you have anything to do with that, you sneer, wiping a tear off your cheek, do you? He sits back, now realizing how far your rivalry had gone for you to thin he could hurt you; no, of course not. I would never, he says seriously, as he sits down at the foot of your bed. Yeah, sorry, you apologize, your voice breaking in the middle, I thought that was what we did. Hurt each other. He takes in your pain which is much more than physical right now; your heart is on the verge of breaking and it’s mostly because of him; Not anymore. I don’t want to do that anymore; he starts as you lookconfused by his words. So, he explains; how his aversion for you came to be because you were a better captain, how people compared you two together, how some of his old team mates wished to have you instead of him. How he found himself to be as admirative of you as people are, how he finally understood everyone when he saw you play, how badminton was made for you, the same way you were for him. How these feelings bloomed in a place he thought was burned by the spite of others. How he wishes he could take everything back but since he can’t how he hopes you can give him a chance to do better, in the future. So, you do; you hold his hand as you both stay silent; he starts to come up with way to fix your broken heart and you, coming up with a plan to keep the flowers blooming even in winter. Maybe love is the way to it all.

thank you so much for reading! leave me a like/reblog/comment if you want and you'll have my unconditional love forever 🫶

#sammy's words #seventeen #seventeen reactions #seventeen tropes #seventeen vocal unit #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #jeonghan tropes #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #joshua tropes #joshua scenarios #joshua x reader #joshua imagines #joshua fluff #woozi tropes #woozi fluff #woozi x reader #woozi imagines #woozi scenarios #dokyeom x reader #dokyeom fluff #dokyeom scenarios #dokyeom imagines #dokyeom tropes #seungkwan tropes

[aothotties]

Drunk Texting

Heyyyyy! Im Rachel, the other half of AOTHOTTIES. Like she said this is very much 18+ so minors DNI :)

I hope you enjoy this fic about your ex, Connie drunk texting you :)

CW: NSFW, oral (f. receiving), lil bit of overstimulation, pet names (daddy,papi,mami,baby, etc), creampie <3

also all the stuff in italics is flashback :)))) & there is a tiny crumb of Spanish in this cause Connie is literally Dominican idc.

Bitch fucj yoi

I hat evrythif about u 

Baby plse i muss you sm

I nevrw ment the things isaid to you

Fine syipid bitvh dont reply i literlt dont care 

Thats why i fckd spooo many bitcjes since i lefy your sorry ass

Y/N please answer me

You stared blankly at the multiple texts you received from your ex, Connie. You knew he was drunk, it seemed to be the only thing he did since you broke up. Messages like this were a common occurrence at this point.

Constance, get a fucking grip please 

You get a gril. You mak me sivk

Im begging you to get yourself together 

Shut up

I missyou sobmuch

Y/N im sorry

You’re fucking pathetic

Mami….

Turning on DND, throwing your phone to the opposite end of the couch you decided you were done with this sorry ass conversation. This was every fucking day. Connie spends the morning completely unbothered by you but by nightfall, an influx of jumbled messages that get progressively worse as the night goes on. If you're lucky you'll get a 10-minute-long voicemail that ranges from sweet words of him expressing his love to you all the way down to him cursing your name as he explains how much he hates you. You understood the apologies and the million i-love-yous, you deserved it. You were the best thing to ever happen to him and you both knew it. It was the anger and hatred that got to you. It didn't hurt your feelings, but it pissed you off. How could he be angry when he's the one in the wrong? He was the one that hurt you and he didn't deserve to be angry, you did. 

“Why the fuck are YOU angry, dickhead. You make me so fucking mad”, you mumbled to yourself as you thought about the day you broke up

“Baby, text my mom and let her know i’ll meet her at the airport at 8am and remind her not to forget my passport this time. And do your best to say it in spanish you know her ass can't speak english”

You were sad your man was leaving you to go to DR but his grandfather had passed and he was going to his funeral and to spend time with his family. His parents invited you to tag along but you weren't able to get the time off work at such a short notice. 

“Ok so i tried my best but i promise you she probably will know its me trying to speak spanish”

You laughed as you placed his phone back on the charger next to you. He shrugged his shoulders and chuckled and he continued playing his game as you sat next to him watching him lose for the 3rd time

His phone dinged next to you. You picked it up assuming it was his mom, but it was from an unsaved number.

“ what she say?” he asked also thinking his mother had responded

“It's not her it's just a random number”“Who is it?”

“I don't know I'll look”

Papi, te extraño.

Y extraño el bicho que me diste la ultima vez

Your heart dropped into your stomach. You didn't speak Spanish, but he had taught you enough to understand exactly what was happening. You couldn’t believe what you were reading as you felt tears well up in your eyes. Before you could even speak another message came in. a picture of her ass in the smallest thong you’ve seen with “Connie ❤️” tattooed on the cheek. At this point you couldn't stop yourself from crying.

Remembering seeing that image on his phone brought you to tears. “Dirty cheating bastard” you mumbled while you got up to wash your face in the bathroom. You kept replaying that moment in your head no matter how much you hated it, it was a day you'd never forget.

“Connie what the fuck? Are you serious?” yelling as you tossed his phone at him. He paused his game and shot you a confusing look then you watched as a guilty look washed over his expression when he looked at the phone

“Mami please, i can explain”

“Nah. save it. Get all your shit and get the fuck out”

You unplugged his xbox and removed it from your dresser. You tore through every drawer grabbing anything that was his and tossed it directly at him 

“Y/N please listen to me. It's not what it looks like Y/N i promise you. Baby please, look at me, please listen”

His words went in one ear and out the other as pain boiled over into anger and rage. The closet contained most of his things and you yanked the door open and began tearing all his clothes off the hangars, some ripping in the process

“Oh my god, Y/N you have to hear me ou – “

“I don't have to hear shit” you cut him off not wanting to hear another word out his mouth. “What can you even tell me right now? You're just going to explain something I can clearly see. There’s some bitch in DR you fucked when you stayed with your grandparents over the summer. Right now, she's eagerly waiting on you, missing the dick you gave her last time.”

Connie looked shocked and sad at the same time. He’s never seen you so angry before, you've always handled your emotions so well but this was the first time seeing you completely blow up

“Oh you thought i wouldn't understand what she said?” you laughed in his face. “ i know enough to see you're a piece of shit, get your shit off the fucking floor and get out connie” you tried to walk out but he grabbed you and pushed you against the wall

“No Y/N let me explain,please” tears ran down his cheeks as he begged you to listen. You tried to squirm out of his grip but he was too strong

“ i don't want to hear –”

“No please listen”

There was no escaping his grasp and you found yourself stuck listening to what he had to say.

You stared at your pathetic expression in the mirror as water trickled down your face. Could you really be here crying over a cheater? Was it seriously still affecting you after 5 months? Defeated, you slid down the wall in the bathroom and pulled your knees to your chest. With your face buried in your hand the tears began spilling as you continued to relive one of the most heartbreaking moments of your life 

“Y/N i know it looks bad but this is a misunderstanding”

It made you sick just looking at him. A cheating piece of shit staring down at you trying to make up some lies to get him out of the situation. If it wasn't for him having you pushed up against the wall you would have walked out, not even caring to listen.

“Look ok, we broke up that summer, remember? And I was kind of upset, so  my uncle decided to take me out to clear my head and I met her at a club. Y/N i don’t even know her real name. She goes by a nickname and I never even talked to her enough to find out – “ he was interrupted by you getting even angrier than before.

“So you don't even know this bitch? You just stuck your dick in the first person you saw when you got there? And don't give me that “we broke up” bullshit, Connie we talked the entire summer you were there and you know this. You called me every day to tell me how much you miss me and couldn't wait to come back so we can work on ourselves, just for it to be lies. You obviously didn't miss me enough to stop fucking around.”

“This was before that, it was when I literally first got there. Before I called you that one night, remember when I called you and we spent the entire night on the phone? That's when we started talking again. I had met her before that night and it was dumb but yes, I slept with her. But it meant nothing baby i promise you”

He started crying again as he was explaining what happened. You felt nothing while watching him fall apart in front of you. Even though he was practically falling to his knees there was something in your gut that made you feel like this was so much deeper that what he tried to make it 

“It was still  wrong, connie!” ,you found yourself screaming at this point, “if you KNEW you were on the island fucking with someone why would you even call me again? You knew exactly what the fuck you were doing!”

“Y/N, please listen, it was nothing. It was a stupid summer fling –”

Just like that..he told on himself. The situation he tried to pass off as a one-time quick fuck was actually a long term fling that lasted the entire time he was on vacation. 

In that instance you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. Tears began flooding from your eyes and you barely found the strength to whisper, “so it happened more than once?”

He swallowed hard before responding, “Yes Y/N, it did. And I know we were still talking but we still weren't technically together so i didn't think it was wrong. And she got the tattoo without even telling me, okay? She made it more important than what it really was. And when I came home I never spoke to her again. I can show you the messages i do not talk to this girl. I'm not even sure how she knows I'm coming again.”

With every word he spoke your heart broke more. He wanted to dismiss the situation and downplay it. This was obviously more than a summer fling to her and he must have given her reason to believe so. Connie was the love of your life and you never expected him to do something like this. You knew he was the one when you first met him. He treated you better than anyone ever had and no matter the ups and downs he was patient with you. He understood you were constantly at war with yourself, but he always calmed your storm and brought silence to your chaos. Yet here he was, standing in front of you, trying to justify infidelity. Anger arose in you again and you felt rage you've never felt before.

“Get your sorry ass out!”, you screamed as you slapped him across the face. He clenched his jaw and balled his fist and for a split second you though he was going to hit you back. But then he released the tension in his body and dawned a cold demeaner

“You know what Y/N, fuck you. And fuck this relationship. You're trying to make me the bad guy for acting single when i was….single. And as I'm here in front of you apologizing trying to show you that it was nothing, you act like the hard headed bitch you always are. I can't keep dealing with your bullshit, Y/N. so ill gladly get the fuck out because truthfully i fucking hate you.”

He grabbed your hand and slipped the ring off your finger then he turned to walk out of the closet as you stood there shocked. He had never spoken to you like this in the 4 years you were together. You had so much to say in that moment because how could he have the audacity to be angry right now, but you were unable to speak. You stood, dumbfounded, as you watched him grab his keys and walk out the door.

After that you didn't hear from him for 2 months straight. He reached out to you to genuinely check on you but in those months you had begun to heal and love yourself. You started therapy and worked closely with her to get over what he said and done. When you ignored the first message the angry, drunk, message started. 

You continued to sob on the floor. In these 5 months you gained so much strength, but you still had nights like this. Your broken heart still lingered no matter how much you thought you were over it and him. Every part of you still loved him and you wished you never saw the messages that day. You'd be married to the love of your life if you didn't. But instead of a happy life with him you were sitting on a cold floor crying so hard it was difficult to breathe. You decided to indulge in his coping mechanism. You pulled yourself up off the floor and went into the kitchen. You swung the freezer door open and grabbed the bottle of crown peach, it was his favorite and you avoided drinking it so as to not remind yourself of him. But you felt different tonight. In some sick way his favorite liquor made you feel as if you still had a part of him with you. The smooth liquor burned as you drank it straight from the bottle. As the liquor began coursing through your body you had an urge to text him. It was your turn to send the angry drunk texts and give him a taste of his own medicine. 

As you feverishly typed you heard your front door unlocking. Your best friend had a spare key but it wasn't like her to show up unexpected. You shrugged it off and locked your phone, taking her surprise visit as a sign you should just leave him alone. You heard footsteps through the hall that grew louder as they approached the kitchen. You turned to greet her but was shocked at the sight before. Connie, with bags under his eyes, was standing right in front of you, looking at you as if he’d seen an angel.  A few seconds of silence had passed as neither one of you knew what to say. A small part of you wanted to run into his arms, kiss him and tell him how much you missed him. But he cheated on you and told you he hated you. And he had to leave your house immediately.

“Connie leave. I forgot you still had your key, but you can leave it on the counter before you go”

There was no feeling in your voice and no expression on your face. You couldn't show him your hand and he had to believe you were over him. He started walking closer to you with tears pooling in his eyes.

“Y/N, i missed you so much. I'm sorry for barging in like this but I just had to see you.” words were spilling out of his mouth and he walked closer, “I'm a piece of shit okay? I know what i did was fucked up and not a day goes by that i don't regret it but baby i promise you she was nothing. I was wrong for being with her while promising you we’d get back together and I feel like such a dick. I hurt the only person I've ever loved and I'll never forgive myself for that but Y/N i can't stop loving you. I don't deserve it but please forgive me, please tell me you still love me as much as you did before this”, he sobbed, “i don't want to be with anyone else. I want you to marry me, Y/N. you're supposed to be my wife, we’re supposed to spend the rest of our lives together.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring he had given you before. He grabbed your hand to put it on your finger but you pulled away. At this point you were crying too. Those are words you wanted to hear this whole time. You spent many nights crying into your pillow wishing he’d call you to say that exact same thing to you. You wanted to take him back but you knew better than to give in

“How can we be together again, Connie?”, you spoke through tears, “I'll never be able to trust you again. You broke me, and I don't know if I can forgive you.” 

He grabbed your hands, fell to his knees and looked up at you as he pleaded, “Y/N please! I need you, I can't go on without you. I'll apologize every day for the rest of my life so you’ll forgive me, mami please I'm so sorry. I never meant the things i said to you before i left, i could never hate you, mami, you're the love of my life. The drunk texts were stupid, and all lies. I haven’t been with anyone since you because I can't get you off my mind. Please, please give me another chance, baby i promise i wont fuck it up this time. Please, I'll do anything to get you to forgive me” his sobs were uncontrollable as he begged for your forgiveness.

You looked down at him as he begged and cried. Unsure if it was the liquor in you or the lack of dick since he left but you became aroused at the sight in front of you. This man looking so pathetic on his knees, crying and begging for you to be with him again made a pool of wetness form in your panties. You stepped closer to him until his face touched your pelvis and you quietly thanked yourself for not wearing pants. 

“Anything?’ you seductively asked. Connie grabbed your hips to pull you closer as he took a deep breath of your scent. A bulge formed in his pants as your sweet smell filled his nose. He began kissing your clothed clit. A soft moan escaped your lips from the pleasure and was in this moment you realized how much you missed having his face between your thighs. His tongue darted out of his mouth and he licked your cunt through your panties. You whined, desperately wanting to feel his tongue again.

Connie grew hungry and couldn't bother to take your panties off. He moved the soaked fabric to the side and attached his mouth to your swollen clit. You let out a high pitched “baby” as the pleasure consumed you. His tongue licked from your hole up to your clit then back down. He continued this as your moans grew louder. The sound of your wetness echoed through your kitchen and Connie's dick pressed hard against the fabric of his pants that were now wet from his precum. 

He started to fuck your hole slowly with his tongue and you moved you hips up and down, grinding yourself on his face. Connie knew you loved this and knew it would bring you to your peak.

“Mm papi, just like that. please don't stop” you begged as your budding orgasm came close to the edge. “Cum for me mami, right in my mouth," he responded between licks. You put your leg over his shoulder for balance as you drew closer to your climax. His hands squeezed your thighs as your cunt clenched around his tongue, he knew from that alone you were about to cum for him. “Fuck baby, im cumming ah –” you shivered as your cum spilled into his mouth. He licked your juices making sure to not waste a drop.

He stood up and crashed his lips on yours. Connie kissed you as if it were the first time, the passion was tense between the two of you. You missed each other and your bodies missed each other too. He grabbed your thighs and lifted you up. He started kissing the spot on your neck that he knew would make you melt. You threw your head back and moaned his name, knowing that would awaken the beast in him. He carried you to the room you once shared and laid you on the bed. You spread your thighs as he crawled between them. You could feel his dick pressing on your core and started grinding on him. 

“connie , i need it” you panted, grinding on him even faster.

“Un uh mami, you know you have to give me another one before i fuck you. Don't act like you forgot the rules”

He lifted your shirt and kissed from your neck to your chest. He brought his lips to your left nipple and pinched the right then switched to ensure they both got love. He planted kisses down your abdomen until he reached your cunt. He removed your panties wasting no time before latching again to your now sensitive clit. 

“Fuck mami you taste better than before. I missed tasting your sweet pussy every night” 

“ i m-missed squirting - mmm - on your face” you brokenly responded through your moans. You passed your fingers through his short silver hair, instinctively pushing his face deeper into your pussy. 

The overstimulation from his mouth was too much. “Connie baby! Too much – daddy please!” tears ran down your face as you squirmed under him. Your thighs tried to close to escape the stimulation, but he pinned your thighs to the mattress, “you can do it mami, one more time, just for papi. Can you give me another, princess?”, he slid his fingers in your cunt and curled them to hit your g-spot. His mouth found its way back to your clit as he finger fucked you harder. “Papi, ‘m gonna cum again” your body began shaking and your climax washed over you. You squirted on his face and he lapped it up as it spilled out of you. “good girl” he whispered as he came back up to kiss your cheek.

He slid off the bed and dropped his pants, taking his boxers down with them. Your mouth watered as you watched his dick spring out from its confines. He crawled back on top of you and lined his tip with your entrance, soaking it with your slick.

“Baby please don't tease” you begged as he rubbed his dick up and down your folds. Pleasure overcoming him, he slid into your cunt, sighing at the feeling of you clenching around his length. 

“Diablo, mami” he groaned as he came down to kiss you. He slipped his tongue in your mouth and deepened his strokes. You felt his tip hitting your cervix causing you to jump at the feeling.

“connie – fuck right there baby you're hitting it just right” you whined.

Hearing you say those words drove him insane. He picked up his pace and began bullying his dick into you. Your moans turned to slight screams and his groans grew louder.

“Oh mami”, he sighed, “i missed this pussy so much. You feel so good on my dick.”

Your walls began spasming as you reached your third orgasm for the night. Your hand clung to his back leaving scratches. Connie was fucking into you like a wild person. The look in his eyes was feral and the only thing on his mind was how good you felt taking his cock.

“ ‘M cumming papi, ah-, mm cant take it baby'.  you were a mess, tears staining your face, drool pooling on your chin. Your fucked out expression brought connie to his peak.

 “I'm gonna cum inside you baby. You want that? You want to feel me cum inside that tight little pussy?”

“Yes, cum inside me please baby, wan’ to feel your cum inside of me”

He groaned loudly as he came deep inside of you, hot ropes filling you to your brim. He slid himself out slowly and stared at your cunt, watching his sticky cum spill out of your fucked out hole. He rolled off and laid next to you. He pulled you to his chest and wrapped his arms around you

“ i really am sorry Y/N for everything” he said while tracing circles on your back

You grabbed his jaw and turned his face towards you then planted a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I know baby. Lets work on us, i want to be with you forever.” you whispered as you broke the kiss

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and closed his eyes to stop his tears from falling.

“I love you”, he whispered.

“I love you too” you responded as you drifted off to sleep with the love of your life

#aot #aot smut #connie springer #connie x you #connie x reader #connie x reader smut

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Here's some more angst for ya 😌

S/O was in an accident and Rogue thought they had died, turns out S/O survived but have no memories of them or what happened. Your picks 😘

(Is this the general plot of my angst fic? Yes. Yes it is. Ehehehehehehehe)

Time takes all things...even memories.

You had slept for a long time. Forgetting a little bit more every minute. Now you were strangers again but a stranger with memories that only the Rogues had. You looked at him with empty eyes, he was a stranger to you once more. You looked at him like you hadn't given him the world. The truth was that to him, you had died in that accident. To him you were nothing but a ghost. You had no recollection of him or your life before. You weren't even the same person you were from before. Even your name didn't hold the same meaning it had before. You were different and only now could he really bare that perhaps that's okay.

The Riddler: When this all started, he wished you had died. Stupidly, he thought it would hurt less. That mourning your loss, had you have died would be so much easier than knowing you were alive with no knowledge of the life the two of you had together. To him, that was worth than your death. It was selfish but true. It didnt feel possible that one day he'd be able to feel relief that even if you wouldnt end up with him, youd be alive and that meant one day you could be happy. Even if it wasnt with him. You had no idea what you lost and that hurt him. It hurt that you didn't even know what you had lost. You had the greatest man in Gotham and now had nothing to show for it. If anyone could create a big speech, it was the Riddler. If the world had the time, he would talk about every little moment the two of you had. It wasn't as though they didn't hold meaning. Those moments meant everything to him. There was a lack of point. There was no point in telling you all the things Edward held dear to his heart. All of which involving you in one way or another. There was no point in telling you those memories or feelings. You couldn't remember them. In the end, there was nothing left to say. For a man who needed to be loved, this was cruel. For fate to decide he'd love you but that you, in the end, couldn't do the same. It grew anger that he didn't think he'd ever be able to subside. Yet he couldn't be angry with you. Not for one moment. You looked at him like a stranger, fearful and distant as you shivered in the cold rain. He couldn't feel it, not yet. Not when he was flooded with warmth upon seeing you. His sadness was ever present but for that brief moment he could utter words of what resounded to him as defeat. If anyone knew the Riddler- he could never admit defeat. He cupped your chin, tilting to towards him as he always did. "Know that you're loved." Just as quickly, he released you and walked away. He walked quickly- he had to. It was too painful otherwise.

Scarecrow: "Thank you for timing my arrest so perfectly." Jonathan turned to Batman who didn't respond but Jonathan knew. The delay was Batman and entirely on purpose. Just so he could cross paths with you in the hospital. "You...you told me that you gave this to me." You began quietly, removing your necklace and he nodded. "I did." He said softly. "It's beautiful and I love it but I think you should have it back." You spoke gently. "So that you can give to someone who you'll spend the rest of your life with and they can love it like I do but appreciate it more than I ever could. I hate that i dont remember you and that i've lost the sentiment this necklace had. You will find someone Jonathan, I promise. I'm just a chapter of your story and I'll pale in comparison to the one you spend your life with." Jonathan exhaled with a soft smile. "Of all things to keep, you kept your optimism? How annoying." You giggled in response and he took the necklace from you. "You did a lot for me but can I ask you one last favour?" He asked and your smile fell at the sight of his sadness, his heartbreak. "I'd like to say goodbye." He said quietly. You nodded. If you could do anything to heal his pain for his loss. You would. It was a sentiment you couldnt explain but it was there. Jonathan leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek. Lingering for a moment as he squeezed his eyes shut before any tears could fall.

Two-Face: Even when you had no memory or knowledge of your history with Two-Face, your eyes held the same sympathy they had then. He told you about his loss and how much he loved the person before they were gone. Yet he never spoke of them by name nor did he give any hint of who it could have been. However you remembered that Harvey was once married. Naturally, you pieced together that the person he held so highly was Gilda. You could listen to him for hours talk about his wife. Even if it hurt to see him so sad and broken. Sometimes there wasn't much that couldn't be said, the words would not heal that pain. Sometimes it was kinder just to sit and appreciate the pain. Simply be present. However one thing did come to mind. "I hope someone will love me the way you loved your wife, one day." You smiled and he slowly nodded with a small teary smile. You didn't understand and you didn't know the pain in his chest. He wasn't talking about his wife. He was talking about you. It helped a little to be able to reminiscent to you even if he couldn't with you. However reality came crashing down when you said that. That even if he told you, he couldn't bring you back to those moments. You were alive but gone.

Black Mask: You always noticed it when your mind was quiet...like a small hum in the back of your mind. Only at nights was the word quiet enough for you to listen and you did. One night curiosity got the better of you. You let that tiny hum take control. You couldnt explain it, but you followed, like it was a small fading trail of the life you wondered about having before the accident. It led to who you were before, you were fairly certain but you knew you could never really know the life you had before. It was gone and this, despite being so new, was reminiscing. Perhaps mourning was a better word but could you mourn something you have no recollection of? Red alarms struck everywhere when it led you to the offices of Roman Sionis. Doors opened for you easily. People looked at you with familiarity. You continued to follow that small feeling as difficult as it had become to follow. You had the faint notion that you were looking for something here but couldn't remember what it was. The distant whim that something was in this room you had been looking for but even looking at the place didn't remind you what you were looking for. Even as you were face to face with Black Mask, you were just as confused as you had been before. The whole time he was silent as he let you look around. The notion had run cold. You had hit a dead end. You apologised and left, feeling just as empty as you had when you first woke up. Even still, Roman said nothing. Silently, he let you go.

Mad Hatter: You bumped into Jervis Tetch a few times. You didn't know who he was, only by face. To you, he was likely a drunk since he hardly seemed sober each time you did pass by him. He'd tell you time and time again that he had lost someone. Someone important. Although he never elaborated on who or gave a description. Yet with each encounter he'd tell a little bit more about his special friend as he sometimes referred to them as. It was apparent, this person was actually his lover, his partner in life. His soul mate. "I'd bump into them all the time. It was like fate, like magic." He grinned with a twinkle in his eyes. "When i lost them...it was beyond tragic." You tilted your head. "Where did they go?" You asked. Jervis smiled sadly. "I haven't the faintest idea. If i knew maybe i could tell them what i shoukd have said more often." You tilted your head. "Oh? What's that then?" You asked. Suddenly your phone buzzed loudly making you dig into your pocket. "Oh, im sorry, sir. I have to go. Um, I hope you find this special friend of yours!" You turned around and begab to walk away. "I love you." Jervis said and that made you turn. "That's what I never got to tell them." He said weakly. You smiled softly. He missed that smile so much. "Don't worry, I'm sure they know...wherever they are." You assured him. Even after everything, fate interwined you both. Yet Jervis felt a weight off his shoulders for having finally told you...even if you didn't realise it. Even if you didn't remember him at all.

Joker: You watched as he was chased by the Batman. You had fled to the roof for safety. The last thing you expected was for the Joker to come bursting through the door with a cackle. He slowed to a stop when he locked eyes with you. Everything evil about him melted away until he was just a broken man in make up. All before your very eyes. You were certain this was the end, dodging death once and now it followed, waiting for you to return. Yet he did nothing but smile. It wasn't a malicious grin. A genuine smile. You had thought the Joker was ever capable of that. He pressed his fingertips to his mouth, pressing a kiss to them before blowing it to you. His eyes tearing up. You had never seen such emotion from the Joker before. It was confusing and terrifying. Without warning he sprinted to the roofs edge and jumped with a maniacal laugh. You screamed in shock, barely having time to process the Batman jumping off the roof right behind him.

#request #batman #batman villains #batman scenarios #the riddler #scarecrow #two face #the joker #black mask #mad hatter #edward nygma #jonathan crane #harvey dent #roman sionis #jervis tetch

[falcqns]

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐲

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: with you i serve, with you i fall down. watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: hint of autistic!Bucky, inaccurate medical writing by me (pls dont resusitate someone by hitting and punching their chest ok), internalized homophobia but only briefly, violence, blood, hospitals, nightmares. mentions of murder, and weapons.

✰ 𝐚/𝐧: just me channelling my inner @musette22 honestly. inspired by this convo with @natashasera. will probably include a part two at some point.

to who ever reads this: don't bother asking for a part two, you won't get it. i am the owner of this fic, and this blog, and I, and only I, will decided what fic gets a part two and when. respect me and my wishes or get off my blog. thanks!

don't forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.

The Asset collapsed beside The Target's body, watching it's shallow breathing. It knows it should flee, but The Target is important. not just important to it's handlers, but to The Asset as well. The Target knew The Asset, and carried an expression on its face that The Asset had never seen before.

The Target coughed, blood spurting from its mouth. The Target wheezed, and before The Asset could think about his actions, he was pulling on Steve's arm, and rolling him onto his side, maneuvering him into the recovery position.

Bucky blinked, confused. where was he? what had happened? he looked around him, and saw large skyscrapers reaching into the heavens. his breathing was now as shallow as Steve's was only moments ago, which made him look back at Steve, not being able to hear Steve's rattling chest anymore. the same rattling chest that kept him up at night, the two of them crammed into a small twin sized bed because thats all they could afford.

he pushed Steve on his back, and flesh hand shook, trying to remember what Sarah, Steve's mom and the best second parent Bucky could have asked for, taught him to do if her son ever stopped breathing. he choked out a sob, leaning down and listening for breathing. he choked out a laugh, hearing the steady rise and fall of his lungs, smooth and healthy. his eyes roamed over Steve's body, and he slowly began to piece together that had happened since the last time they were in their cozy Brooklyn apartment.

the war, the draft, the serum. the train, the metal bar breaking and plunging him into the snowy depths below. seeing Steve's break out into terror and desperation, and the ground came rushing towards him faster than a leaf falling from a tree.

he looked down, feeling warmth surround one of his knees. thick, scarlet blood was pouring from an injury on Steve's side, and there was too much blood. too much for him, even.

"fuck, Stevie," Bucky whimpered, and rolled him over. Bucky's body almost crumpled seeing the gunshot wound in Steve's side. "no, no, no," he gasped, pressing his hands to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. Steve was pale, too pale. paler than when he got tuberculosis, and Bucky lost Steve twice in one night, bringing him back each time with a combination of CPR, praying, and slapping his white skin.

"Stevie, don't do this," he begged, just like he had then. "jus' stay with me. stay with me, i'll get you help. c'mon," he said, pushing all his body weight on the wound.

suddenly, he heard footsteps approaching from behind him. his head whipped around, and his eyes landed on a man in a SHIELD uniform. hope filled his tired body, and he broke out into a smile.

"sir," he gasped for air, feeling 10 years old again, and helping Steve after some playground bullies beat him up. "i need help. i think he's bleeding out," he said.

his eyes were so focused on the other man, that he didn't notice the bleeding stop. he also didn't notice blue eyes gazing up at him, filled with love.

"h-he needs help," Bucky gasped, not understanding why the man wasn't moving. "he's gonna die, and i can't lose him, please!" he begged, and watched as the man groaned.

"man, Pierce is gonna kill me," the man groaned, and walked towards Bucky. Bucky went to smile, but all the muscles in his face relaxed and contorted into terror as the man grabbed his tac suit on the shoulder, and began to drag him away.

Bucky shook his head, a scream ripping from his throat.

"NO!" he shouted, trying to get away. "you have to help him! he's gonna die!"

the man groaned, and reached for his gun. "can't believe i got roped into doing this shit," he growled, but before he could as much as pull his gun out of his holster, he was interrupted by a deep, smooth voice.

"don't even think about it, Rumlow." Steve said, struggling to keep his voice steady, pointing his own gun at the rogue agent.

"it's not-" Rumlow began, releasing Bucky, and letting him crash onto his dislocated arm, pain shooting up his torso.

"it's not personal?" Steve growled, moaning in pain and inching closer to Rumlow, the gun pressing closer to him. "it sure feels like it. especially if you're going after the one person i'd burn the world for if it meant i could save him."

"Cap, i'm just following orders." Rumlow tried to reason, but before he could finish his defence, a gun shot rang out, and Rumlow fell to the ground, dead before he even made contact with the wet grass.

Bucky broke out into sobs, grabbing onto Steve's tac suit with his flesh hand.

"Stevie-" he gasped, and Steve fell to his knees. his hands grabbed onto Bucky, and he pulled him close.

"'m here," Steve said, voice growing weak. "'s all right, you're safe."

"don't leave." Bucky begged, soaking Steve's dirty suit with his tears.

Steve went to answer, but was interrupted by Sam running into the clearing where they were. upon seeing Bucky, he pulled his gun out, but was stopped by Steve.

"don't," Steve said. "he's fine. it's him, not the other one." Sam nodded, and called over his comm his location to Nat, Fury, and Maria.

"are you hurt," Sam asked, approaching them. Steve nodded.

"he is too," Steve said, motioning to Bucky. "his arm is dislocated."

Sam got on his knees and nodded. "okay. Bucky, can you roll over so i can put your arm back in the socket?" he asked, and Bucky looked warily up at Steve, but when Steve nodded, he complied, his hand still gripping Steve's suit.

"3...2...1..." Sam counted down, before pushing on his arm, and popping it back in place. Bucky let out a shout, hot tears rolling down his face at the pain. Steve shushed him and wiped his tears as a helicopter approached. as they were brought inside the helicopter and the door slid shut behind him, Bucky didn't let go of Steve, and continue to cry into his chest, afraid that Steve would slip away if he let go of him.

"no!" Bucky said, readjusting his grip on Steve's suit. "don'! don't take him!" Bucky cried, breathing heavy.

"Bucky," Sam said, his hand wrapping around Bucky's and trying to get him to release Steve. they'd made it to the hospital, and the nurses had tried to wheel Steve away for surgery, but Bucky refused to part with him. "he's gonna be okay. they're just gonna take him into surger-"

"NO!" Bucky screeched, flinging himself ontop of Steve. "you can't!" he exclaimed, and Sam and Nat shared a confused look. "the last t-time he went into surgery he got sepsis and almost d-died!" Bucky sobbed, and Nat sighed, before slowly walking up to him, and gently prying his hand off of Steve, allowing the nurses to wheel him away.

"it's okay, James," she whispered, seeing the terror and heartbreak on Bucky's face as Steve was wheeled away. Bucky tried to pull away, but his body remained where it was, exhausted. "he's strong. super strong, remember?" she said, moving his dirty hair from his face. "remember how he got the serum, and he wasn't sick anymore?" she prompted, and Sam, realizing what she was doing, sat down on Bucky's other side, and rubbed his shoulder.

"he just needs to get the bullet removed, and get some stitches," Sam said. "once that's done, you can go see him again, okay?" Sam said, and him and Natasha smiled at each other when he began to relax into their arms. "he's going to be okay." Sam said, and looked at Nat as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"why don't we go back to my place and get you cleaned up?" she offered. "Steve's going to be in surgery for a while, and he'll be happy to see you clean," she said. Bucky pondered it for a moment, before agreeing, and letting Sam help him stand up, and the three of them slowly made their way out of the hospital, and into Nat's car.

"can you tell me the last thing you remember," Nat asked as she washed Bucky's hair in the kitchen sink. "before the draft?" Bucky nodded, and thought back.

"i remember saving Steve from a fight behind some diner. i guess he had heard someone cat calling one of our old school friends, and decided to give him a piece of his mind. but, like always, he ended up black and blue because he never got the fact that he was 80 pounds and the size of a tree branch through his thick skull.” Bucky said, sighing as Nat’s nails scratched at his scalp.

“is he really going to be okay?” Bucky asked, his eyes focusing on some of the light blue paint on the eggshell white ceiling of Nat’s apartment.

Nat nodded. “he’s going to be fine. he’ll pull through, he always has, hasn’t he?”

Bucky nodded. “yeah he has.” Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat before he spoke again. “has he told you about the time when he died twice in one night?”

Nat shook her head, concerned. “no he hasn’t.”

Bucky chuckled quietly, his flesh forefinger tracing the plates of his metal hand. “he had tuberculosis. he’d had it a few times, but this time was by far the worst. he hadn’t been feeling well all day, and he was getting worse and worse as the day went on. Sarah helped as much as she could, but eventually she had to go to work, so it was just me and Stevie in the apartment.”

Nat helped Bucky sit up and wrapped a towel around his head, drying the freshly cleaned hair. Bucky continued talking while Natasha ran a wide toothed comb through his hair, trying to detangle it.

“it was around 3 when i noticed his breathing change. i monitored it for a little bit, but ended up falling asleep. about 20 minutes later, i woke up, and something didn’t feel right. i looked over at S-Stevie, and his lips were turning blue. i remember starting cpr immediately and screaming for him to wake up. i don’t know how long i did cpr for but eventually he came back, and was weak but okay. i was going to call his ma but he told me no, and to let her work, being the jerk that he was. i stayed in the bed with him, and around 4 it happened again. i’d broken a few of his ribs while doing cpr and i didn’t want them to puncture his lung, so i just started shaking him and slapping him. i pounded his chest, above his heart a few times as hard as i could, and eventually he came back. he was stronger, and his breathing was better and a little smoother, and i knew he’d be okay.

"i just..." Bucky said, looking down at his hand and sniffling. "i just remember holding him and not wanting to let go. i wanted to tell him then," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "th-that i-uhm..."

"that you loved him?" Natasha said, maneuvering his shoulder length hair into a braid.

"y-yeah," Bucky stuttered, tear burning his eyes. "i know we'll never be able to be open about it, or get married, but i just want him to know."

"well," Natasha said, tying the braid off with an elastic. "you may not be able to get married yet, but you're allowed to be open about it," Natasha said.

Bucky jerked his head to look behind him. "w-what?"

"gay marriage isn't legalized yet, but it's legal to be in a relationship with who ever you want, as long as you're both consenting adults." Natasha said as she climbed off of the stool behind him. "so, when he wakes up, you can tell him how you feel." she said, giving Bucky a warm smile.

before Bucky could respond, Sam walked through the front door of the apartment.

"he's awake," Sam said, a smile on his face as he looked at the other two. "he's still a little groggy, but he's going to be okay, and the doctor said we can go visit him."

a smile broke out on Bucky's face, and it grew bigger when Nat patted him on the shoulder to get him to stand up.

"we can take my car," Nat said, swiping her keys off of the counter top where she'd dropped them earlier. Sam made a rebuttal as Bucky walked over to the shoe rack and grabbed his combat boots. did he want to put them back on? no, but it wasn't like he had other options.

he slid the boots on, and followed Natasha and Sam out the door. the ride to the hospital was quiet. Sam and Nat discussed what they needed to do about Bucky, and Bucky kept quiet, trying to present as though he didn't care what happened to him, but on the inside, his stomach was churning violently.

what would happen to him? he asked himself. would the judicial system understand what he went through, and understand that he wasn't a bad person, that he was forced to do bad things? or would they see him as a violent criminal who could snap at any moment and send him back to a cell for the rest of his life?

bad thoughts like that continued to swirl in his brain as Natasha's car slowed to a stop in the hospital parking lot. his stomach started to do flipflops as he followed the couple through the hallways, attempting to find Steve's hospital room. would Steve hate him? he didn't seem to hate him on the riverbank, which must mean he didn't. Bucky really hoped that he didn't. he really hoped that the Steve he was about to see would be the same Steve that went through Project Rebirth, and then infiltrated a HYDRA base by himself just to save Bucky. he hoped to God, that nothing has changed his Steve.

they came to a stop in front of the door, and Sam and Nat looked at him expectantly.

"well?" Nat asked, with a smirk.

"well, what?" Bucky asked, confused, looking between the two people.

"are you going to go in and see your man?" she asked, and Bucky had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

"he's not my man." Bucky stated, and Sam snorted from where he was standing beside Nat.

"man, you spent the entire time Nat was washing your hair talking about Steve. you proclaimed you were in love with him, and basically admitted you want to marry him. how does that not make Steve 'your man?'" Sam said, and Bucky looked at him indignantly.

"me confessing my feelings doesn't mean he shares those same feelings," Bucky said, his eyes turning towards the closed hospital door. "as much as I wish he did."

"well, you're never going to know unless you ask him." Nat said. Bucky laughed.

"and ruin a friendship with my longest, and now only, friend? no. it's better to keep my feelings to myself. it'll hurt less eventually." Bucky resigned, and Sam chuckled next to him.

"conceal don't feel, don't let it show, right?" Sam said, and both him and Nat cracked up. Bucky looked between the two of them, feeling as if he'd missed something.

"...huh?" he said, and Nat had to bite her lip to stop from laughing.

"nothing. go see Steve." she said, pushing his shoulder. Bucky nodded slowly, confused, but turned to open the door. he stepped through, his eyes locked on the floor.

"go get 'em, Elsa!" he heard Sam shout through the doorway, and furrowed his brows again, confused on what Sam was talking about, but his face relaxed when he saw Steve, sitting up in bed, reading The Hobbit.

"S-Steve," Bucky said quietly. Steve looked over at him, and Bucky felt nauseous as his eyes lit up and his face broke out into a smile.

"hey, Buck. how are you feeling?" he said, placing the book down. Bucky gulped. he didn't know what to say. what could he say to Steve? the last time he was fully himself and spoke to Steve, it was 1945, and they talked about their trip to Coney Island, and how Steve threw up after Bucky made him go on the Cyclone.

the memory, while there, was extremely fuzzy, the only thing he could make out being the small, skinny, and pale face of his Stevie.

Stevie, the only man he'd ever loved. he loved him when he was small, and he loved him after he got the serum. as much as he loved the thought of him sitting in their apartment in New York waiting for him to come home like a dame would, it made him even happier (internally, on the outside he was still mad) to have Steve with him, fighting beside him. he loved him when he didn't know who he was. he loved him when he didn't know what was love was, because that had been successfully trained out of him. he loved him when he was sitting alone in his cell, confused about the pull he was feeling in his lower stomach. he loved Steven Grant Rogers, and the thought terrified him.

the thought that Steve wouldn't return his feelings. the thought that Steve would be like all those super 'macho' guys that they went to school with, who believed anyone who didn't fit their narrative of a normal person, would go to hell, which made no sense. how was Steve any different from him? yet, he still got made fun of because instead of playing with his blocks, or building a tower, he chose to line them up, or make a circle with them. Bucky felt himself start to spiral, and the only thoughts in his head were "Steve""i love you""don't hate me".

they repeated over and over again. taunting him, begging him to confess, to make a fool out of himself, even though he has distinct memories of the two of them finding a young, gay, couple being tormented by an older man, and despite all the energy Bucky was exerting while beating the literal shit out of this oversized bully, the most prominent image in his head is Steve throwing the first punch, and then Steve asking the couple if they were okay.

instead of rationalizing with himself, his focus shifted suddenly to the buzzing in his ears. the pain in his chest. the black spots in his vision. the last thing he saw before he squeezed his eyes shut was Steve standing up and grasping his shoulders.

"Buck-" he heard. "Buck wha-"

"you sho-" Bucky wheezed, trying to pull in air to stop this horrid pain in his chest. "you should be laying down."

Bucky didn't hear Steve's response, the buzzing turning to ringing, and drowning out any and all noises other than the high pitched ring.

he reopened his eyes when he felt something warm and soft pressed against his forehead. his breath hitched when he saw bright pink, plump lips inches away from his own. his eyes zeroed in on the movement that they were making, before realizing Steve was speaking to him.

the ringing dimmed slightly, and other sounds were finally allowed inside his mind, and he quickly realized that the sensation was Steve's forehead pressed against his own, and why Steve was doing it.

Bucky was having an attack, and Steve was trying to calm him down, just like he always did. a lump formed in his throat and tears welled in his eyes as he felt Steve wrap his arms around him as the pain in his chest retreated slightly, and it became easier to breathe. his breath hitched as he came out from the attack, and tried not to collapse into Steve's arm like he used to. Steve, thinking like a Captain (always one step ahead), strengthened his hold on Bucky, and walked them back towards the bed.

Steve sat down, and brushed a stray hair away from Bucky's face, Bucky focused his eyes on Steve and sniffled seeing the soft and loving look Steve was giving him.

"it's okay," Steve whispered. "it's okay, baby." he said, and Bucky felt himself crumple. Steve wasted no time in scooping him up into his lap, and letting him nuzzle his head into his neck and cry out his pain.

he cried. he cried and cried, feeling 70 years of anguish pour out from his body as he was finally allowed to have emotions and express them. his hands fisted in Steve's hospital gown, curling up as he felt the pleasant warmth radiating from the thin material.

a few minutes later, his tears finally stopped, and he was then fighting to keep his eyes open. it wasn't that he didn't want to look at Steve, it was that he was just so comfortable. he was warm, he felt content for the first time in years, and he felt as if he could fall asleep right there.

"Buck?" Steve asked again, startling the half asleep soldier on his lap. "can you look at me?" he asked, but Bucky shook his head with a childish whine. he tensed once he realized the noise he made, but was pleasantly surprised when nothing happened.

Steve moved past the whine as if it didn't happen. his left hand started to cradle the back of Bucky's head, and his right began rubbing up and down.

"okay," Steve said. "it's okay, you don't have to look at me, but I don't want you to feel ashamed for crying or any-" he said before Bucky cut him off.

"'m jus' comfy." Bucky said sleepily, and Steve chuckled. he felt his right hand leave his back, reaching to grab something before relaxing back.

"okay, bud." Steve said. Bucky sniffled, before he felt a straw poking at his mouth. Bucky cracked his eyes open and accepted the straw, sucking down the ice cold water. he sighed in relief after, and went to stand up as Steve set the water cup down, but was stopped as Steve wrapped both arms around him, and the two of them laid back against the hospital bed.

Bucky whimpered, and snuggled closer. Steve chuckled, and Bucky listened to it reverberate through his chest. "missed you," Bucky said, keeping his words short, feeling the emotions build again.

"i missed you too, Buck. every day." he said, his thumb swiping over Bucky's swollen upper cheek.

"i'm sorry," Bucky said, the guilt returning. "i'm sorry i hurt you, i didn't want to, i-"

"shhh, it's okay. i know you didn't mean to." he assured. "nothing that happened was your fault."

Bucky just nodded, unsure what to say to that. while he knew those words were true, it didn't feel like it. they felt fake, like an attempt at cheering him up. he knew they were the truth, so why couldn't he bring himself to believe them?

Bucky didn't know what to say after that, so he said nothing. he kept quiet, even when Nat and Sam came in. when Maria came in, and told them that Bucky could go with Steve, that her and someone named Fury would take care of getting him a pardon. with a name like Fury, Bucky certainly wasn't going to refuse the offer, not that he would anyways. going home with his Stevie, even though he didn't know where 'home' was, was certainly better than being alone in a cold dark cell.

he cuddled in closer to Steve, and listened to him discuss his living situation with Sam and Nat.

"my apartment's not safe," Steve said.

"it's just a window," Sam said, "we could get it fixed."

"no, it's not that, Sam." Nat said. "Bucky was there, the night Fury faked his death. if Bucky was there, then Rumlow and one of his other handlers was definitely there as well. it's not safe to send them back there, especially when we just brought down HYDRA and Shield."

"he had handlers?" Sam asked, and Bucky involuntarily shivered, thinking of Rumlow and Rollins.

"yeah," Nat said. "don't forget, i knew him when i was still in the Red Room. the handlers changed over time, but he always had 2 handlers with him. if you look at it from their perspective, it makes sense. even as the soldier, he didn't want to be there. they couldn't send him out on missions alone."

"yeah, makes sense." Sam said, with a sigh.

"where are we going to go then?" Steve asked, his hand still rubbing Bucky's back.

"i'll call Stark, see if that offer for a place in that fancy new compound still stands," Nat said, and he heard her stand up, and exit the room, likely to call Stark.

Stark...

that name sounded familiar to Bucky. he just didn't know why it felt so familiar. the thought remained on his mind until he drifted to sleep in Steve's arms, comforted by the sound of his steady, healthy heartbeat.

longing

december. night time. long winding road.

rusted

the roar of a machine underneath the asset. 'look down,' the voice says. it complies. leather seats. the roar. motorcycle.

seventeen

white car. wooden pole. security camera.

daybreak

the asset pulls up beside the car. punches through the window. the car veers off the road, and into the pole.

furnace

target one crawling on the gravel, blood dripping.

nine

'Sergeant Barnes?' the target says. a name. it's name? no time to ponder. target two is crying for target one.

two punches for target one. squeeze of a throat for target two.

benign

hand. gun. security camera. point, shoot.

homecoming

the camera is destroyed.

one

metal case with familiar blue liquid.

freight car

mission complete.

well done, soldat.

Bucky jolts awake. Stark. Howard Stark. he sits up. his head falls into his hands.

he killed Howard Stark.

'but,' he thinks. 'if Howard is dead, who is the Stark that they were talking about?'

his question answers itself when he opens his eyes, and sees and unfamiliar room. he looks beside him, and see's Steve sitting up to comfort him.

"w-" Bucky begins, but Steve finishes.

"we're at Tony's compound." he said.

Tony.

Howard's son.

"are we-" Bucky asked, and Steve nodded.

"we're safe, bud." Steve assured, pulling Bucky close to his chest. "we're safe."

Bucky forgets about the dream by the next time he wakes.

he wakes up before Steve this time, and he just stares. he's pretty. so, so pretty. he suddenly wishes that he had paper and a pencil, so he could draw Steve. he was no art prodigy like Steve, but being in art school when he was younger certainly left him with some drawing ability.

he lifted his flesh hand, and traced it tentatively over his jaw. over his chin, around his lips. a chuckle startled him, disturbing his quiet admiration.

"i can feel that, you know." Steve said, opening his eyes, a smile cracking on his lips.

Bucky gulped. he could back out now, ignore it, pretend he's sleeping.

but he doesn't want to.

he can love whoever he wants now. he can love Steve openly, and without fear of being caught. and that was exactly what he was going to do.

"you're just so pretty, Stevie." he whispered. "wish i had a pencil and paper so i could draw you."

Steve smiled up at him. "i could grab you one. i'm sure i have a spare one somewhere."

"nah," Bucky said, shaking his head. "wouldn't do your beauty justice."

a light red tinge appeared on Steve's cheeks, and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Bucky's thumb had a mind of its own, and rubbed over Steve's plump, pink, bottom lip. his eyes flicked up to meet Steve's, and unlike when kissing a girl, he felt no nerves. no uncertainty.

he felt safe, loved, comfortable. he felt at home. tears rimmed his eyes as he looked at the man he loved. the man who was once smaller than him. the man who he wanted to marry. to have kids with, to spend the rest of his days with.

the man who had only ever made him feel safe. the man who risked everything to save him, more than once. the man he'd been dying to kiss since he knew what kissing, and love was. since he'd realized he'd only ever felt it for Steve.

"'m gonna kiss you now," he whispered, his head dipping slightly. "is that okay?" he asked, not wanting Steve to feel uncomfortable, despite the hardness pressing against his hip which proved that Steve was far from uncomfortable.

"yeah," Steve rasped. he swallowed, his heart rate speeding up. "yeah, that's okay."

their lips touched for the first time, and Bucky felt as if he'd been born again.

#natashasera #bucky barnes angst #stucky angst #stucky fanfiction #stucky fluff #stucky fandom #stevebucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky fanfic #bucky x steve #stucky #steve rogers rp #captain america #winter soldier #bucky #captain america the first avenger #captain america civil war #catws #sam wilson

[actualbird]

Hello, Zak!! "Reviews for Time's Antiquities" is absolutely hilarious and now you've ignited a desire for me to find more fics told in a series of reviews like this dtudutdit

Oh my god making the old woman who mentions Luke feeding the cats be the one to say the meme is perfect. Luke does have a good heart that five star review is more than deserved!!

"Adequate" being the nicest thing Vyn has ever said to Luke is so fitting drsuteut he'll go full Marius in this fic for mc and mc only, everyone else has to be content with just being satisfactory.

If Vyn put the gnomes outside the NXX building I wonder if it'd scare away some of the people who keep intruding into the building somehow.

MARIUS' REVIEW HELPPP I love it so much!!!! He's just waxing poetic about Luke in the reviews section and you know what Luke deserves it.

Look if GrannyofCats' review was allowed to stay up I think Luke should allow Aaron's review to stay up too it's only fair.

Ted has a point what is wrong with Stellis. It feels like every single chapter brings headlining news with it and some of them occur back to back. Anonymous get out while you still can.

Fhifyifgif poor Kanon, what did he do to deserve Artem's disdain.

You know what I think we should all give Anonymous a pat on the back for watching all this go down without having a single clue about what is going on. Hell of a welcome to Stellis, at least they know exactly where to find extremely vague and worrying information about Stellis' latest big crime.

Absolutely wonderful fic, thank you for writing this. I wish I had the brainpower to pull a Marius and wax poetic for this fic but alas I do not so I'll just leave this instead: 5 Stars!

🌌

eyyo milkyway :D!!! thank u for reading "reviews for Time's Antiquities, South Stellis | Average Rating: 4.8 Stars" and jhvJKVKJH WE BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE UNCOMMON FIC FORMATS!!

uncommon fic formats, especially ones that are told thru online medias, will always be my guilty pleasure (sans the guilt but u get what i mean). theyre just such Immense fun, whether it be a serious story or a silly one. online media fics my beloved...

GrannyOfCats is SO RIGHT. vyn is also so funny for writing a review thats straight up praise and rating 5 stars and then he gets hit was his allergy of outright sincerity and is like "alright, reel it back"

oh my god, gnomes as NXX GUARD STATUES JHVKJHFDS!! i adore that so much, but it'll come with the caveat of luke walking past them So Very Fast and not making eye contact bc he finds them so inexplicably creepy. he doesnt even mod the gnomes to have cctv or be able to shoot tranq darts, hes sure that the gnomes, by virture of being off putting gnomes, is enough to ward away most people

marius' wall of text review was by far my favorite thing to write. i never forget hes an art student and that he has in canon said some beautiful ass lines chock full of romance and adoration. and hes really sorry for eating luke's sweets.

aaron left that review cuz luke has been ignoring his texts abt the whole deal. one day, aaron will physically drag luke to therapy and wait outside to make sure luke doesnt jump-tuck-and-roll out thru the window. but that day is not today.

ted being the one to break it to anonymous reviewer that stellis is whack is wholly inspired by his one line back in luke's perso story 3 when luke was fucking beating up aran audibly and ted was like "UHHHHHH..." and mc was just like "//eye twitch. dont worry about it, dont think about it too hard"

artem having beef with kanon is forever gonna be my favorite minor detail in tot. like, yea i know it was only mentioned in ssr atmospherics, but it's just so funny to me to think that artem held that grudge for Forever. he shld get to have his petty moments, methinks

and YEP, anonymous reviewer is rlly going thru it JHVSKJHFSVDJF. welcome to stellis, anonymous reviewer. it only gets weirder from here on out

thank u so much for this lovely comment and 5 star rating hehe :'D

#milkyway!anon #commints #//tucks this away in my little hoard of validation ehe #asks

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 😴

So are you wonder woman? Always wondering where you left something? Hahaha just kidding.

Good that you remembered about changing up the stuff in the carry on. Are you going to write when you're on vacation??

I'm surprisingly still awake. Lots of things going on in my head. You know, I hate overthinking and not being able to voice out my thoughts to people.

I'll give those a listen. Is crazy in love a cover? And you're already thinking of a new fic with Natasha? Any spoilers for that one? Ahahah just kidding.

For karaoke, my go to song would be she will be love by maroon 5 or if you're not the one by Daniel Beddingfield.

Name 3 songs that remind you of your happiest moments.

-CuriousGeorge

Hi corn-punn! Oh wow, u r still awake! Yaay!

Lol sadly, i am. Even though i'm not a fan of DC. 😅

I have bad memories, so i forget easy but what's weird sometimes i remember small details about certain stuff or people. I'm pretty good on remember people's voice despite my hearing problem 😅

I might write if i have the chance.. thats why i only bring my tablet not my laptop. Hopefully i can write in the whole flight. I remember the fic "The best Christmas" i started that fic in flight to texas from california. 😅 n i wrote pretty good amount. My first dark fic "I Love You Too Much" was also started when i was in flight but on the way back from texas to cali (different trip though).

Oh nooo..r u okay? Do u wanna talk about it?i'm her3 for u if u need someone to talk to. 😊

I totally understand how u feel. That's how i feel most of the time.. n thats never fun.😔

Yeah try to listen to those songs.. it was so good. Special the first one. I love that song so much. N guess what, it's in my Lost In Assistance series smut.😅 also yes, that crazy in love is a cover.

Well, yeah it's just an idea that i got when i listen to the song. I dont know when im gonna write though. But it will probably a short smut, simple one. It's like a soft slow smut with not many extreme kinks. Something passionate n strong desire R n Nat. With some details.😊 okay that's all spoiler u can get haha. I dont know if u get the feel like that when u listen to the song. Let me know what u think about the song.

Haha we sing one same song.. omg, that beddingfield song. I even still remember his voice. 😅

Hmm 3 songs that remind me of happiest moment

1. Annie's Song (wedding day)

2. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Celine Dion (Em was born)

3. Lucky by Jason Mraz (whn i started talking with my ex gf.)

What bout urs?

Next question?

Cheerio!

#chellez answers #ask answered #anon answered #curious george anon

[certifiedceraunophile]

The Stubborn Grace of Being Loved Regardless by @helpless-in-sleep

or @YesYouMakeMeCryTearsOfHope

“Did you mean what you told me at the ball?” she asks, checking the spray setting on the garden hose before she waters the sunflowers. Klaus is a few feet away, a clawed hand breaking through the earth and loosening the topsoil, curls sticking to his sweaty forehead, and he looks startled. Blushing, Caroline says, “You said I was strong, and beautiful–”

“And full of light,” Klaus finishes, his eyes soft as gold slips into the blue and then out again in a moment.

She tries to tell herself that she’s flushed from the heat of the Virginia sun, but it’s a half-hearted thought at best even if they are in a weird hot flash. The mist from the hose only helps so much.

He goes silent, so she looks over to him again, only he’s standing next to her in a moment, the sunflower stalks swaying slightly. For a second, she thinks that he’s going to kiss her, and her heart launches into her throat because she has no idea whether she wants that or not, which is terrifying.

Instead of leaning over to brush their lips together, Klaus tilts his head until their foreheads are barely touching. Caroline looks down to avoid seeing his expression and then shuts her eyes entirely when he whispers, “I did. I still do.”

#srishti's endless list of obssessions #fic: the stubborn grace of being loved regardless #helpless-in-sleep #klarolineedits #kcedits #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline shippers club #klaus x caroline #Hi jenn #you know how much i adore Hope fic #with all my heart and all my scars #the peace the catharsis the oneness and mainly the hope i feel #reading this #I s t g it's definitely god looking down upon me and wanting me to be healed #I love you for this fic and will always cherish it and protect in my heart #I dont think I'll ever be able to forget this fic like ever even if i tried my best to #it will stubbornly stick w me every day as i grow and heal #thank you for this #truly 💖💓 #also my pitch for this fic: #asdfghjkl this story by jenn is very very very special to me #I call it my hope fic #bc honestly this fic is literally as close I will get to believeing in things like healing crystals #bc that is exactly what it is #it's comfort and healing and solidarity and love and kindness all perfectly heart achingly wrapped into poetic lines that #reach into your heart and either twist it or caress it #it's a story of strength and survival #and then of thriving and snatching back what was taken from you #this fic is simply put; hope and light #and please do yourself a favour and read it

[kpostedsum]

daddy issues; D.M

summary: you and draco bond over issues in 6th year

word count: 2.4k

warnings: err angst, comfort, illusions to sex

song: daddy issues (the remix) - the neighbourhood

a/n: i tried not to make it stereotypical bc i didn’t wanna make it seem all “i like older men lol”, probably my fav fic i’ve written, also arent these anime gifs so cute

masterlist | taglist

Take you like a drug

I taste you on my tongue

Tongues battling for dominance, bodies rubbing against each other searching for a feeling. It’s become routine now, a different person in your dorm swallowing a new pill, entangling limbs with someone just to feel something.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

It was a constant cycle, putting yourself out there seeking the male attention you crave, seeking validation, constant reassurance and trusting too easily. That’s how you ended up with a different guy who always in the end leaves. You trusted too easily and people took advantage of how trusting and naive you are just for a quick shag.

You wished it wasn’t like this but that’s all you knew, wanting to be the best version of yourself for someone just to feel needed, no matter if the person was good or bad for you. You didn’t care, you wanted love from anyone you could get it from even if it just hurt you more.

You’re familiar with the absence, something stable made you feel a bit wary. It wasn’t something you were used to. Your father wasn’t the most present in your life, and even though he's there, he's never really there.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

You always wondered where you went wrong, he preferred your siblings over you and doesn't pay you a piece of his mind. Constantly going out of your way to get his attention whether it was academically or acting a certain way just to get some sort of reaction. But he was too preoccupied with his other children, even if they were from your mom or his affairs.

That’s how you found yourself right now sitting in the astronomy tower past curfew watching the rain fall, trying to clear your head while humming softly to yourself to keep yourself distracted.

You hear distant chattering from below and quickly get up from where you were sitting and make your way to your dorm unnoticed by anyone.

Except one person, Draco Malfoy.

I tried to write your name in the rain

But the rain never came

So I made with the sun

The shade

Always comes at the worst time

He’s seen you before, you’re known around Hogwarts for how you put yourself out there and how ‘desperate’ you are for some affection. He almost feels bad for you, but he’s in no place to judge. With his dad in Azkaban Draco had so much more to worry about, like his task and how he can succeed. But there was something about you that intrigued him that he couldn't ignore.

He saw you again in transfiguration the next day and noticed a few hickeys littering your neck that you had tried to cover but it didn’t work. He wondered why you gave yourself up to so many people, but once again he was in no place to judge. He noticed the way your tongue would stick out when you focused extra hard, the way your hands would tighten around your quill when you got a question wrong and your face.

The same face that many boys including the older years would fawn over, the face that entranced and attracted many, the face of someone who would do anything for someone for some affection and the face of someone who seeked out all the wrong things.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

You walk out of transfiguration on your way to the owlery to send a letter to your parents and feel eyes watching you everywhere. You like it, the attention, it’s something that you thrived in, but you couldn’t help but feel a new set of eyes on you.

Once you reached the owlery you realized you weren't the only one there, Draco Malfoy was also there sending a letter to who you assumed was his mother.

“y/n, right?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

“Yea, listen i’m sorry about what happened with your father i know you really looked up--”

“Dont worry about it, he wasn’t as good an influence as I made him out to be,” he sighed, looking away.

“My dad isn’t the best either if i’m being honest, i guess we’re in the same boat” you let out a light chuckle.

And that’s how you found yourself hanging out with draco malfoy bonding over your shared issues.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues

It’s been weeks since you two started hanging out since the interaction in the owlery and have been getting closer ever since. You both sat down together in the astronomy tower, backed against the wall as the cool wind blew against your faces. The aura between you two was calm, a comfortable silence.

“So tell me about your dad, how is it with him in Azkaban?” you asked, tilting your head towards him.

“Mother’s not taking it well” he frowned. “I can’t even say potter’s wrong for getting him locked up because he deserves it. All my life he praised the dark lord and taught me to be selfish and always defend my blood, but he was never there for me when I needed him. I would have done everything just to hear ‘i’m proud of you’ but it never came. It’s worse now because mother’s all alone. I wish I could have stayed with her” he sighed looking out the tower watching the stars twinkle.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been much quieter this year as well, you stopped making fun of people. It’s not that nice on the receiving end huh?” you said with a teasing look on your face.

He shook his head at you scooting closer to you, it’s like the demeanor between you two have changed over the past few weeks. You found yourself pining over him rather than being in someone's bed. But this is how the cycle always goes, you get attached and they leave, you couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the situation this time.

“Tell me about your father”

Daddy stuck around but he wasn't present

Cheated on your mom but she never left him

First I didn't get it, now I understand

He broke her heart, left money in her hand

So everything got paid for

She made sure you and your brother had way more

Than she ever had growing up

And when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

“ I don't know if i’d even call him my father at this point, he doesn't want me.” you sighed. “He's been cheating on my mum for years now and she still won't leave him because she thinks they can work it out. He’s had affairs with different pureblood women and has children with them. But what hurts the most is how he treats them as his own children and treats me as if I don't exist” you said, looking down as tears pooled your eyes.

Draco moved closer to you and brought his arm around your shoulders for a sense of comfort and waited for you to catch your breath so you can continue.

“I just want him to love me” you cried. “I go out my way to try and get his attention with my school work but it never works. That's why I get along with so many guys. I seek the validation, the comfort and the reassurance that I can get from him from others and I am so tired of it. I just want him to want me draco.” tears slipping out your eyes as you looked up at him, you’ve never confessed this to anyone before.

“Everyone always leaves, please don't leave me” you cried

“I’m not going anywhere” he turned his face towards you, leaning forward cautiously as if you were made of glass.

You leaned forward, wanting the exact same thing. Both very hesitant he gently pressed his soft lips against yours and they moved together in sequence, only taking a break to go back to his dorm and to breathe, limbs tangled together for the rest of the night until the sun rose.

I can see it on your face it was rough left a bad taste on your tongue

And she didn't even take any drug

She would rain all day

Couldn't wait for her son to shine

And you made it shine

There when she cried, you saved her life

It's been a week since that night in the astronomy tower and draco had already been avoiding you. It’s humiliating, but you should have known. You thought the ‘bond’ you had with him would last, it felt so genuine this time. So real.

You’d see him around the halls snogging pansy on your way back to the ravenclaw tower, lowering your head down so he wouldn’t be able to see you so you could get by quickly and unnoticed.

But he saw you.

He stared you right down in your teary eyes as he made out with pansy. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, for someone who promised he wouldn’t leave you like everyone else, he did the exact same.

You did the only thing you knew of, you ran.

I keep on trying to let you go

I'm dying to let you know

How I'm getting on

I didn't cry when you left at first

But now that you're dead it hurts

This time I gotta know

Where did my daddy go?

I'm not entirely here

Half of me has disappeared

Draco followed you to the girls lavatory, hearing your shallow cries coming from one of the stalls. He approached the stall you were in trying not to make too much noise so he doesn't startle you.

He felt awful.

He promised he would never leave you, after you both poured your hearts out to each other but he still left. He had too, he was putting you in danger just by being with him. If Voldemort ever found out about you and hurt you he wouldn't be able to live with himself, that's why he took it upon himself to hurt you first.

“y/n are you in here?” he called out even though he knew the answer.

You recognized that familiar voice anywhere. “What do you want draco?” you said, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just crying.

“I want to talk to you, please”

“No,” you said getting up and pushing yourself out of the stall. “You don't get to just throw me away after I told you everything and just come back into my life like nothing ever happened. Just go away, that's all you guys are good for” you spat.

“Just listen to me, it was to keep you safe. I didn;t want to but i couldn't bear seeing you hurt” he tried to explain.

“Safe?” you laughed. “ and what exactly do i need saving from, malfoy.”

“From me” he said as he pulled up his sleeve revealing his dark mark to you. Your body instantly tensed, you knew he was having problems and his family was involved with the dark lord but you never knew it was like this.

“Draco i-” you tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat. He stood there looking at you desperately like he was waiting for you to tell him everything was okay, you wanted to be there for him but you didn’t know what to do. You trusted him with everything but he couldn't trust you with this? You thought the bond you had made would have made him trust you in the slightest, but clearly it's always you who’s more trusting.

“Why didn't you tell me?” you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

“I thought you’d leave me, you were the only good thing i had. Please don't leave me” he begged, salty tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks as he looked at you with desperation.

“So you thought pushing me away by snogging pansy was better?” you yelled, as he continued to look at you slightly taken aback by your lashing out.

“You know what, go ahead and cry little boy. You know that your daddy did too, you know what your mama went through. You gotta let it out soon, just let it out” you taunted walking closer to him looking straight into his teary eyes.

“This time I'll be the one that leaves.” and with that you were gone.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

It’s been months since that night in the girls lavatory, and you missed him. You wanted to visit him in the hospital wing once you heard what happened with Harry Potter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. He left you, and you were tired of always going back to people who just hurt you.

Now here you were at the battle of Hogwarts, standing with everyone while Voldemort and his death eaters stood across from you all.

“Draco, draco come here” you heard narcissa call from across the scene. He looked hesitant, as if he was waiting for someone to stop him but no one did. So he started walking over to his parents.

But you grabbed his hand.

“Stay please” you whispered looking up into his eyes.

He looked back at his parents and back at you like he was contemplating his answer.

“I’ll stay”

If you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

—————-

tagging fun ppl nd ppl who interacted (so srry if u don’t wanna be tagged)

@hellohellook @astoria-malfcy @justfangirlthingies @sfdlm @falling-loki @notvasi @gwlvr @malfoytookmyheart

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco fuckingmalfoy #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy smut #draco lucius malfoy #harry potter #fred x hermione #fred weasley #george weasley #ron weasly x reader #remus x sirius #the mauraders #sirius black #james potter #harry x ginny #pansy parkinson #blaise x y/n #theodore nott #draco malfoy imagine #draco x y/n

[transsexualhamlet]

there's a song! I forgot

AND I'D ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE UR ANALYTIC THINGY

this is a great opportunity to compliment your analytic capabilities as well! I have read some and they all happened to be top-notch!

sorry that i'm being like this

JSJSJS NO DONT APOLOGIZE I LOVE ATTENTION also I'd be very interested in that song, who's the artist?

I don't have every song done yet but here's just the one for skeleton appreciation day and then I'll rb with the shorter ones i have for the others

(this is under a cut cause boy howdy it is long and the corpse fic is Not For Everybody)

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones)-

This is the only one I'm gonna actually do a lyric breakdown of, the others will just be short paragraphs but this one's full because Ah God Will Wood Moment. The whole song really does capture the feeling I was going for with the corpse fic. Especially the tone of this song, which feels almost as though the singer is so lightheaded and about to faint, barely standing, tottering around searching for something he cannot see.

To cut down on my silhouette, my favorite foods are smoke and hearts

My leftover frets forget stiletto-self vendettas,

While my cracking backbone lacks but backs up my false starts

All nightmares start as dreams and I hear my subconscious screaming

They say that beauty's just skin deep

So naturally, please show me your bones, bones, bones

Let me see your bones

Well I don't wanna know if the feeling follows home

Bones, bones, bones

Hell, we're all alone

If I come home, baby, will you show your bones?

For the way he must kill Fyodor, for the way they love. He is starving himself of Fyodor by killing him. Nikolai sees that attraction in his body as something he could somehow pry out and purify even though he knows it will make him so sick and weak, as if peeling open the insides of his lover could somehow reveal the truth of why they love like this. To kill him means to be free of him, but it's really only halfway, the way he keeps him around to begin with, cause he thinks he might be able to wean himself off Fyodor after a little, just a little bit more, when well, of course he cant. He thinks this might get him answers- Why are they so self contradictory, why is it so difficult for him, why is this the only way they manage to exist is this terrifying codependent state? He searches for this so hard but he fears actually getting an answer, to the bones, so much that he kills the only one who might provide it for him.

Lumps in throats and petticoats, your baby teeth would pray for you

At the beginning of the third chapter when Nikolai is trying his hardest to talk to Fyodor, and how every bit of advice he gets back is only an echo from deep in the past. He holds the past so dearly, nothing he's doing feels real, through all the makeup he applies and the pretty dresses he puts that rotting fucking corpse in, though he's nearly to tears, and the dynamic and the dysfunctionality of how they existed together reveals itself.

A selfish book is always open

And some of the best liars only want the truth

Nikolai is the "selfish book". Nikolai weaves this extensive web of intentions and metaphors into his existence in this way that he's so sure he's hoodwinked himself and the world about his true feelings and thoughts, but especially to Fyodor and honestly to anyone who gets a look at him to an extent, it is painfully obvious the direction he is going and how viscerally clear his emotions are. Fyodor has seen this from the beginning, he always knew how doomed and contradictory that train of thought was.

And Fyodor is the "best liar". Though he is so closely guarded himself, someone who Nikolai never entirely managed to unravel even after his death, he truly only ever had the sweetest intentions with Nikolai. Yes, he's hurt him, lied to and manipulated him expertly, let him do this all to himself, but in the end he was only ever giving Nikolai what he wanted. Nikolai is a sinful ability user himself, and he knows that Nikolai is a paradox who will only ever suffer surviving. This is his mercy, and he feels that deeply. The truth of their love and the world is right there for Nikolai, left posthumously for when he finally decides to accept it.

All love starts as a scheme, so wake me up, I'm tired of sleeping

They say that beauty's just skin deep

So I feel asleep, please show me your bones, bones, bones

Let me see your bones

Well I don't wanna know if the feeling follows home

Bones, bones, bones

Hell, we're all alone

If I come home, baby, will you show your bones?

Nikolai has found it difficult to parse apart his own delusions and rose-colored view of Fyodor from reality, and it breaks here where he seeks this consul from Fyodor. Fyodor is so vague and far away it feels like a dream, even though all Nikolai's been doing in this whole endeavor was trying to wake up. This love of his was the "scheme" he was trying to break free of, and killing Fyodor was supposed to "wake him up" from that brainwashing. But it hasn't, it won't, that feeling doesn't go away. He wants that truth, he is begging for Fyodor to reveal it, what else must he do to receive it? But Fyodor has told him time and time again, is he really prepared to hear it?

All nightmares start as dreams, all love starts as a scheme

Give me all your LSD so I can feel my mind unweave again

This dream of Nikolai's, this ideal to reach this ascendant state of humanity where he basically ignores every scream of his own flesh and blood just for that idea of free will has become an utter nightmare all around him. The consequences are glaring and he is witnessing the world burn down and he is the one burning it. (i am he forest and i am the fire and) Everything is falling apart and he does not know how to survive without the world utterly scrambled around him. Without Fyodor, an acid trip seems necessary just to stay sane, or in his case, to keep away from that terrible clarity as much as possible and to stay living that dream without seeing the nightmare underneath…

They say that beauty's just skin deep

So Ana stands and rends the rancid meat from her bones, bones, bones

…Yet under that influence, the nightmare grows even worse, as he tears himself apart through this idea, throwing away anything he finds offensive to the delusion. I'm assuming here that Ana was meant to be a personification of anorexia, that the singer's own disorder has grown so prominent she is a whole being who acts as him, they are one and the same person. For Nikolai this certainly applies, to someone who feels at this point to be a hollowed out corpse piloted by pure delusion. And he acts out to purify his vision, to keep that idea of Fyodor and himself intact, he wounds and tricks and pushes Sigma away. In his vision Sigma has turned against him like rancid meat, yet in reality he is ripping away the very thing keeping him alive.

Let me see your bones

Well I don't wanna know if the feeling follows home

Bones, bones, bones, hell, we're all alone

If I come home, baby, will you show your bones, bones, bones?

I can see my bones

Well I don't wanna know if the feeling follows home

Bones, bones, bones, hell, we're all alone

If I come home, baby, will you show your bones?

My bones, your bones

Tell me you can see my bones

My bones, your bones

Tell me you can see them

This whole ending bit is that hard descent, the repetition, the spiral at the end, the way he's conceding to Fyodor, where his aversion to the truth and his seeking the truth meets. And that feeling does follow home, he's going to follow that feeling home and there is no one left to stop him. There is nothing left in that world but Nikolai and the dripping thing he's personified, at this point he's wrecked his own health so badly that he recognizes himself in the corpse more than in that old polaroid. And he's giving in with that plea: if he comes home, please tell him, would they be together again? He's begging with all his life that Fyodor somehow is watching him and everything he's become, that he might somehow embrace and understand him. In utter doom, might he at least have companionship in the grave?

#rowan's hyperfixation essays

[saintshigaraki]

BRUH I ACCIDENTALLY UNFOLLOWED WHILE TRYING TO SEND THIS ASK IM GONNA SUE TUMBLR

anyways.

i read your tags on my sad rambling and i just wanted to come here and give you everything i have to offer which is a bruised heart and 3.45$ (i think that's enough to buy two coffee depending on where you live, maybe if we're lucky we can even get a donut to split) 💕💞💓💗💖💘

i really really love dabi so so much and i just keep thinking about how badly i want to remind him that he's a person too. even though he's this big bad villain who's committed so many crimes my heart always hurts at the thought of how young he was when he left home,,, and i think touya is still trying to look for home again,,, even if there's a physical house he's in it's still not home, a feeling of being able to finally rest. i want dabi to finally go home. i want to give him the warmth and safety that every person, every child, deserves.

i know it's silly and that his abuse doesn't justify his actions, but at the same time i find it so incredibly unfair. there's no empathy for him, no understanding that he's built up all these walls because there's a heart that's desperate to not be hurt again. he can detach himself from his humanity but i think he'll always crave the intimacy of wanting to be seen, wanting to be understood. and i think it's such a disservice to him if we forget the fact that before a villain, before a criminal, he was just a little boy with a dream.

i know some people think dabi is a playboy and wouldn't care about a potential s/o (not that i think there's anything wrong with writing him like that) but the soft part in me always thinks that while dabi would try to push you away, it's because he can't understand why someone would want him. because if he spent his entire teen/early twenties convincing himself that his hands are made for destruction, how could he possibly convince himself that those same hands can hold you? it scares him, a bit, that you would die for him - because every life he's taken has always been taken, never given.

(i am so sorry for spamming your inbox jsdhfkshjksd i didn't mean to ramble this much but i just wanted to add that i don't think i'll ever be anywhere near your level of understanding poetry and writing beautiful prose, but i read this and the third stanza made me think of dabi <3)

-nilani <3

(i accidently unfollow ppl all the time when i send them asks. tumblr really hates us rip)

i dont think my heart ever wont hurt for dabi. obviously, like you said, the abuse he experienced doesn't justify his crimes and im not and will never try to justify or excuse some of the things hes done (even though i joke that dabi has never done anything wrong and if he did no he didnt)

'i want dabi to finally go home' god. you just really hit the nail on the head with that. i think home & healing go hand in hand with his character. and in a way, i think healing for him can be a sort of home.

'he'll always crave the intimacy of wanting to be seen' yes absolutely i love this take more than i can put into words. dabi wants to be seen. dabi desperately wants to be heard. by the world but mostly by the person he loves. i feel like that’s a core part of his character.

tbh i don’t really get the whole…dabi canonically wouldn’t care for his s/o take that seems to go around. of course, any and all characterizations are completely fine, and we have no way of really knowing how he’d act in a romantic relationship, but i feel like things have gotten to the point where ppl are labeling any and all instances of dabi not being downright awful to his s/o as ooc which is kind of frustrating. it’s a disservice to his character to say as he can only act one way with all ppl otherwise it’s ooc.

personally, i think dabi fears vulnerability more than anything else. which is why he automatically pushes ppl away but once someone manages to wiggle their way past those defenses it’s game over. he’s not letting go until he absolutely has to. and even then…it’d take an army.

nilani!! i can not put into words how beautiful that dabi fic was. i’ve been thinking about it since you posted it. your take on dabi is one of if not my absolute favorite. please PLEASE never apologize for talking about him with me

#nilani i’m so so in love with your take on dabi like. i had to leave this in my inbox for a few days so i could put together #a semi decent answer #nilani 🌻 #angelmidoriya #ask

[leotssukinaga]

Friendship Bracelet

Makoto Yuuki x Reader

A/N: I literally dont know where this fic came from, it just popped into my head a few hours ago and now its here. Disclaimer that I don’t know Yuuki that well as a character so I’m not entirely sure how well I wrote him. This ends so cheesy but its cute so I stand by my choices Summary: Makoto and you have been best friends for years, even when you couldn’t see each other often your friendship held firm. There’s just one issue... Makoto doesn’t know if it’ll survive the romantic feelings he’s developed for you. Tags: Fluff, teeny tiny bit of angst, cheesy as hell, childhood friends to lovers Word Count: 1.7k

Makoto wasn't sure whether to smile or frown as he stared at the bracelet adorning his wrist, fiddling with it with his other hand. It was a little worn, though you could hardly see where he'd had to mend it when he caught it on that fence last year and it snapped, but even after 4 years of wearing it constantly the colours were as bright as the day you'd given it to him, the green heart embedded in the blue standing out as much as ever. It had been on his mind a lot recently- or rather, what you'd said when you gave it to him had.

-

You hopped up to him at lunch time, a sad sort of smile on your face. He knew why. You were graduating middle school in two days, and you weren't going to the same high school. You'd admitted to him a few weeks before that you were scared to face the world without him, that you didn't want him to stop being your friend just because you didn't see each other every day. He'd been a little too embarrassed to admit that he felt the exact same way. "Hey, I made you something. It's a little silly but... I want you to wear it all the time, okay? So that even when you're old and you can't remember your own name, you'll have a reminder that once upon a time, in middle school, we were best friends." He grinned as you showed him the blue friendship bracelet. He didn't even know you knew how to make them, but he admired your handiwork and held his wrist out for you to tie it on. It was only when you'd done so that he was the green heart you'd sewn onto it. "Not just in middle school," he reassured you, "just because we're going to different high schools doesn't mean I'll forget about you."

-

He'd been right, too. The two of you were in your third year now, and your friendship was as firm as ever. Of course, the different high schools situation had changed once Yumenosaki had opened up the producer course and you'd transferred (something you hadn't told him until you surprised him on your first day there), but even in your first year he'd cycled over to your house every night he had free. You'd always fussed over how he had the energy to do that, with how strenuous idol work can be, but he was insistent that you didn't worry about him too much. And now you were at Yumenosaki, he walked you home every day, just like he had in middle school. He was grateful for your ongoing presence in his life, but recently... He wanted things to change. Not in the sense that he didn't want you around anymore- as if he could ever want that- it was more like he wanted to see you more, if that was even possible.

He'd often catch himself thinking about you in a way he didn't know he could- about holding your hand or waking up next to you, about how nice it would be to be your boyfriend. It was bugging him endlessly. How could he fall in love with his best friend? That was something that belonged in slice of life manga and cheesy sitcoms, not real life. Not his life. Not when you had so many better options out there than him, when half the guys in your year were vying for your attention for less than professional reasons- and he knew that every one of them was likely better suited to you than he was. "Hey, what's on your mind?" Makoto nearly jumped out of his seat when you appeared next to  him, a concerned look on your face "O-oh! Nothings wrong, I'm fine." "I didn't ask if anything was wrong, doofus, but the fact that you answered like I did tells me you definitely just lied to my face. Cmon, out with it." "No really, I-I'm okay!" You frowned at him, pulling out the chair next to him and taking a seat. "When did you start hiding things from me?" "W-what?" "I feel like you don't tell me anything anymore... What happened to the Makoto who'd tell me everything, right down to how long it took you to eat your lunch? When did you stop wanting to share things with me?" You looked sad- heartbroken even- as you stared at your best friend. But that was just it. He'd always be your best friend, and nothing more. He'd thought he was okay with that, but he was beginning to realise he wasn't. "I don't know, I... I guess people just grow apart." He knew, the second he said it, that it was the wrong thing to say, and the tears pricking your eyes as you nodded and silently left the classroom confirmed it.

You didn't wait for him that evening. He arrived at the spot the two of you had used as a meeting place since you'd started at Yumenosaki and found nobody there. You didn't pick up when he called you, either, and the walk home was painfully silent without your company. He'd screwed up majorly, all because he couldn't stand to tell you he was in love with you. And he didn't know whether he'd be able to pick up the pieces or not.

But he knew he had to try.

This wasn't like him. Normally he'd call you before heading to your house, it was rude to drop by unannounced, but this time he didn't even think about it. (You'd likely not pick up anyway.) It wasn't until he turned onto your street that he even realised what he was doing, that he'd cycled all the way here without making a conscious choice to do so. Whether it was the fear of losing you forever or some miraculous bout of previously unfound confidence that saw him climbing the tree outside your window and knocking on it like some anime protagonist you guys would definitely make fun of together, he didn't know. All he knew was that when you opened the curtains you looked like you'd been crying- and that you shut them again the second you saw him. He slumped back on the branch he was sitting on, not ready to give up but feeling a little defeated, when he heard the door open below him.

"Makoto! What the hell are you doing up there?!" "I need to talk to you." "Ever heard of knocking?" "I didn't think you'd answer." "You could've tried!  Ugh, will you just get down from there, please? I'm having horrible visions of you with your head splattered on the sidewalk." He nodded and made his way out of the tree, trying not to think about how cute it was when you covered your eyes so you wouldn't have to see if he fell.

"I...I didn't mean what I said earlier." "I know." "You do?" "Yeah! I mean, come on. I know you better than anyone- if that was really how you felt you’d wanna talk about it, give me the reasons. You’re always so gentle with people, even when you don’t like them." "When you didn't walk home with me today I thought maybe I'd messed up beyond repair." "I was upset. Even if you didn't mean it, it hurt. And you've been so distant lately. I don't wanna lose you. Ever." "I don't wanna lose you either." The way you smiled at him warmed his heart, but your next words put a knife right through it. "Good. You're stuck with me as a best friend forever, whether you like it or not."

Makoto couldn't take it. He knew he wasn't good enough for you. You deserved a boyfriend who could sweep you off your feet, not some dork who's only romantic knowledge came from manga. But... even if it was unfounded, he had to have hope. He had to tell you how he felt.

"Y/N, look, I- I need to tell you something." "What is it?" "I-" The words stuck in his throat. You stared at him expectantly as he tried to get them out, but they wouldn't go, no matter how much he stuttered. Now was not the time for him to freak out and forget how to speak. He'd cycled over here and climbed a tree, for God's sake, and now he couldn't even say what he wanted to. He couldn't help but think that this was why you deserved better than him. "Makoto? Are you okay?" "Yes, I just-” He took a deep breath before finally blurting it out, so fast you could barely make out what he was saying. “I'm in love with you and I have been for like a year and I thought I could be okay with just being your best friend- and if you tell me to shut up and never talk about this again then I will, I'll be happy to be in your life in any capacity- but I knew I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try, you know? You're just so perfect and I know you deserve better than what I can offer you and it's so stupid for me to think I have a chance in hell but-" "Makoto!" "Y-yes?" "Will you shut the hell up and kiss me already?" "I- what?" "Oh, I have to do everything myself, don't I?" He was still processing what you'd said when you pulled him in for a kiss, cupping his face gently with your hands. It took him a minute to come to terms with the fact that you were kissing him, but eventually he settled his arms around your waist and melted into it. You pulled away abruptly when something cold and wet landed on your forehead, squinting up at the sky. As if the night hadn't played out enough like some cheesy romance film, snow began to fall around you.

"I probably should’ve worn a coat, huh..." "Oh my god, come inside before we both freeze to death!" "Will your parents be okay with that?" "Of course they will, it's you." You reached for his hand to pull him inside, but stopped when you noticed something. "Hey... you're still wearing the bracelet." "'Course I am. You told me to wear it all the time." You grinned up at him, giving him a soft peck on the lips. "I guess that heart means something different now, though." Makoto's real heart swelled in his chest. Being with you was... Well, it felt like something out of a fairytale, or one of those dreams that waking up from upsets you because it's not real. "Yeah. I guess it does."

#💎 writes #makoto yuuki #yuuki makoto #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars imagine #ensemble stars imagine #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #makoto yuuki imagine #makoto yuuki x reader

[mull3ts]

Ok errbody,  it's the peachy family's or neocrackheads group chat's 2nd month anniversary 🍷✨

*insert wine glass clinking coz fuck it*

Peachy family in a nutshell 🍑:

We’re all just Pokemon that type like  t h i s 

LETTUCE BEGIN!

@nct127grass | GRACE! 😎

Oh lord- OK SO gracie sweetie ✨ hello :D aH yEs the first person to litterally type

"hey fam 😎" with that exact emoji

Grace, you've lingered on my blog for a while honestly ahEm ik what u be doin to the point where I can say: I've known abt your existence before the gc. You've honestly made me feel like I'm in middle school again saying "fam" and "dope" so congrats ✨. anYwhOdLeZ you're vv nice and could be one of the nicest people I've ever met 👀. You're always vv supportive and understanding so I thank you for that 🤧 I dAre to say that sometimes, you're like the internet sister i've always wanted 👁💧👄💧👁.

What remindes me of grace: earrings, plushies, sharkies, smuts, more importantly my smuts 😏, asks, anons, cute goth lolita kinda things, bangchan from straykids dont ask, wedding rings

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@sunflowerhae | GWEN! 👼🏻

Hai gwennie :D The time we evolved from ot4 to ot5, thank you for being our pokemon evolution 🤧💫

Gwennnnnn, you just keep it real 💅🏻. The owner of the "👼🏻" emoji 😔✋. Gwen legit, I love you death. (boop period.) (but i wuv all of you to death so,,, 😌). You're the only calm-ish one. And I also feel like you're if not ooper then kinda adventurous with your collabs and ✨jazz✨. And I vibe 🤧. I shant forget when the group chat was so heated on everyone's face 😌. In a summary: I wuv you gwendolyn.

Gwen thingz: tarot cards, the sun, the movie lolita, bright ass crayons, sunflowers, zenon the movie, yellow pencils

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@nanajaems0308 | JUJU!

Part one out of two for accepting them into the gc coz you think your kids know them 😌

Juju, hello :D. You were actually the first person that I talked to oUt of the gc, as in, sending eachother asks but them bAm we got discord 🔥. I've probably had the weirdest convos w you so thanks for accepting my "crackhead nature". and you're sucessfully my bro's favourite niece so congrats ✨ AND WE'VE TALKED AT WINX CLUB AND THE BARBIE MOVIES 😌✋ I FUCKING STAN. pLus you're on your way to becoming a comedic legend 😎 so in a summary: juju you're vv easy to talk to and you're ooper nice and i will deck any dood or woman or anYOne that tries to come @ you

Juju TiNgZ: my laptop 👁👄👁, my lotion 👁👄👁, haircombs, jaemin, seventeen's dino wtf ik , hulahoops, strawberries, the color teal or turquoise

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@kunswifegwen | GWEN/GGTRJ!

Part 2 out of 2 of accepting hoomans into the gc coz you assumes your kids knew them so you added them

GGTRJ HIIIII HOE~sOO idk if you count as my child or in law, but I'll count you as an in law just incase gwen and grace wanna adopt you 👀. anywaySSSsSsSs I distinctly remember having kinda of a awkward convo w you in the gc coz there was just a bunch of exchanges of "fam" and mOviNg oN. I'd be down to virtualy sip wine with you anyway fam 😎 you just give me those "clink clink bitch" sorta vibes. You've only been in the gc for like a month but whatever, wuv ya.

ggtrj tinGz: dilf jeno, pewdiepie, frogs, Lionel Richie, the titanic, Versace, that one juul ad i always see on tiktok, dinosaurs

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@huangvibez | Zainab

oMG hi! Lmao im sorry anywOdLez *iNhALe* an ot4 member 👁💧👄💧👁 hol up im switching tomy laptop coz tumblr's being wonky

oK IM NOW GOING TO MAKE THINGS SHORT SWEET N KINDA SAPPY

HAI ZAINAB you’re vv easy to talk to and I vibe w it. A moment I remember the most abt you is when I told you that Robert Paterson would yell at me if his ketchup packet was 1.4 ounces instead of 1 ounce and when you wanted to see a vampire fic and I told you I had a Jeno one and it still lays in my drafts to this day. Yeehaw wuv ya <3

Zainab tinGz: Zayn Malik idk, big time rush, blue pens, renjun’s shoulders, grapes, hello kitty lunch boxes, soccos, lemons and socks.

@bbjisungg​ | CISSY!

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oK sO,,,,we honestly don’t talk much but lEgiT i really don’t care tho coz I still wuv you thy talented child :D

cissy tiNgZ: grass, trees, basically pLants, bunnies, glitter, the we go up era, gummy bears

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@bbyyangiex2​ | ELIE! 🍄

O heY elie :D sO Imma start off by saying that honestly,,,,you’d be gr8 friends with npc me 😌. She’s like me but only 4 months older than you 🤩. Anywhodlez let’s gOoOooOoo 

oK so elie, you’re vv talented likE IDC WHAT OTHER HOOMANS SAY BUT I THINK YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Like stop stfu- yOu cAnt cHangE mY minD eLiE yOure dOpe. Anywhodlez, I remember that one time although idk if you’d know but whAtEvEr. When we were dropping pics of ourselves and you suggested that i was like one of those ullzangs? idk, but then I got a pic of one and you didn’t question in so i was kinda sitting there like 👁👄👁 and proceeded to laugh my bOOty off. Dw tho, I still wuv ya sweetie, I wouldn’t question it either tbh ;-;

Elie tiNgZ: WayV, toenails, sprite, boba, matcha boba, any boba, eyeliner, the middle finger, roller skates, Yangyang, orange juice?, a kid that’s able to hold a convo with me even when you pee (if you know you know)

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OK SO mkAy peachy family! Hi it’s just mEeeeEeEeEe so in a summary I wuv you all...alot 💖💖💖

sincerely,

abi your resident milf <3 

#peachy family anniversary #200812

[coffeecrusadeclub]

Falling For You - Tyrus fic

<I got this idea from @ghost-of-fire-and-sea

Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Together at LAST > <<its basically the stages of greif crush style>> <<<peep the screenshot at the end if u dont get it>>>

TJ's POV:

"I just- being around him makes me so happy and nervous at the same time ya know??" I looked my friend, Reed, with hopeful eyes. Being around Cyrus has been giving me all sorts of weird feelings lately. Its weird.

"Look Kippen, either you admit youre crushing on him or I am going to literally MAKE you."

"Nono you're totally tripping dude i don't like him that way. Hes me friend, my pal. Its totally platonic" I said to assure him although it soundes more like I was trying to convince myself.

A couple days later I was hanging out with Cyrus, and Reed's words echoed through my head. I didnt have a crush on him did I? I mean sure hes cute and his eyes shine perfectly from every angle and...

I DO have a crush on him. Why am I like this!? No this is his fault if he wasnt just so adorable all the time I wouldn't have a crush on him. If Buffy hadn't made me get him that muffin that day I probably wouldnt have even met him. Its her fault.

I sighed at put my chin in my knees. He was talking about the dinosaur exhibit he went to over the weekend. His words coming out so full of passion and excitement.

This is only a crush right? It'll go away, I'll totally get over it. I'll just pretend not to notice how cute he is until I forget that I think he's cute.. and probably the nicest person I have met. The most selfless person I will ever meet. God this is gona be hard. Thats okay, I'll just not hang out with him for a few days, the feelings will go away. I only feel like this because of the things Reed said. Yeah its just because of what he said, I didnt actually fall for Cyrus, Reed just got in my head. These feelings are temporary.

----

After a couple of weeks of not being able to hang out with Cyrus, not because I didnt want to, I flopped at that part, but just because we were both genuinely busy, we decided to hang out at the Spoon. I got there and he was already waiting for me.

I noticed him before he had noticed me. I stood there quietly admiring him for a couple seconds before shaking myself out of it. What am I doing? This is gona ruin our friendship. I can't like him I simply cant.

Nervously I made my way to him and sat across from him in the booth. Usually I'd have sat next to him, but today I just couldnt.

"Hey TJ! I missed you!!" His voice was high, I could hear the affection in it. We were best friends how could I let this happen? What was I thinking?

"Hey I missed you too Underdog. What've you been up to?" I said, smiling softly at him.

"Oh well I have mostly been studying for finals. Andi was teaching me how to do different crafts and I made you this!" He pulled a small handmade shadow box out from under the table. It was made from what looked like popsicle sticks and toothpicks. Glitter and pompoms covered the surface.

"Well actually, Andi made it but I helped! And i decorated it" he said enthusiastically, handing me the box. I turned it around and saw he hand painted basketballs in random places and my school jersey number on the back. The backdrop of the box was a picture of us.

I smiled, I dont deserve him as a friend. Maybe that's why the universe had me fall for him. Because I simply dont deserve him

Thats okay though actually. Hes my friend and I can live with that. I can be hopelessly in love and just be his friend. Thats good enough right? I'll die alone but at least he still gets to be in my life.

When we got up and left. We ended up heading to the park. While we were walking Cyrus tripped, and in an attempt to save him I ended up tripping myself and pulling him towards me at the same time. He landed flat ontop of me and it took me a second to process what had happened. Then suddenly it hit me, we were kissing. I pulled away and attempted to pull myself out from under him.

"I-I am so sorry" we both murmured out in unison. He got off of me and stood up. I stood myself up and dusted my clothes off. Did that really happen?

"Im so sorry TJ- I didnt mean to do we were just so close and i just- I dont know what came over me" wait what? He kissed me we didnt land like that. I replayed the event in my head, the initial shock now worn off.

He had tripped, I grabbed his arm and also tripped, pulling him towards me he landed on me instead of the ground. I was filled with panic but he didnt land with his lips against mine. He leaned in- he kissed me and I was kissing back. I didnt even realize.

"Dont be sorry- I- Are you okay? You didnt get hurt"

"I'm fine-youre the one who hit the ground. Finish youre thought? You what?"

"I kinda-I liked it. The kiss I mean. I- I have a crush on you. I was trying to hide it because I know theres no way you like me back but I-"

"TJ what? No way I like you back? I literally just kissed you. And here I thought Jonah was oblivious" he laughed, god i love his smile.

"I- wait you like me back?" I asked him hopefully.

"Duh! How could I not ??" He smiled- no he beamed at me.

"Well- i just- what am I meant to do with this information?"

"You can ask me on a date"

"i can ask you on a date? Ask you on a date.. OH Ask you- Will you go on a date with me?" I rambled, eventually getting to the point.

"Yes, definitely" he smiled.

Well who wouldve thought, maybe crushes work out sometimes after all.

#cyrus goodman #tj kippen #tyrus #andi mack #cyrus kippen #cyrus smitten #tj goodman #tj smitten #tyrus andi mack #tyrus moodboard #tyrus aesthetic #tj x cyrus