#I dunno how to feel about it. I feel so many ways | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

itgetzweird08 · 2 days

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“You shouldn’t be up this late”

Bakugo’s voice whispered, filling the silence in the dorm kitchen. He was right, and usually you weren’t. You valued your sleep, often being one of the first in the class to call it a night. But tonight was different. Your thoughts, your heart, was restless. Despite following your nighttime routine, which was curated specifically to help you wind down and rest, you still found yourself tossing and turning. Not even your ocean sounds could help you drift to sleep. Thats why when Bakugo spoke, you sighed heavily and let your shoulders droop.

“Yeah. I know.”

He took a few steps toward you, leaning against the countertop. “So what’s got you awake?” You shrugged at him, watching the water in the electric kettle begin to form small bubbles. “Dunno…just can’t sleep I guess.” You looked over to him, taking soft note of his tired eyes and disheveled hair. “And you? You aren’t usually awake at this time either.” He shrugged right back at you. “Dunno…can’t sleep I guess” he echoed your words, and it made you smile just a bit.

You both knew why the other was awake, or at least you both had some inkling. Between how the ambush attack played out and Midoriya running away, neither of you have had time to really process all of what has gone on. You haven’t had time to think about how your lives had been flipped one eighty. But since Midoriya was back safe and sound, and there was no real information on the League or their next move, everything was at a standstill. That meant your brain was finally coming up to speed on what had gone on recently…and it was overwhelming. It felt like your mind was in over drive, thinking so many thoughts at once that it was causing you to lose sleep.

“…There’s a lot of water in this kettle. Would you like some tea?” Bakugo didn’t answer, just walked over to the mug cabinet and grabbed both of your designated mugs. Yours had your hero insignia, and he had his. It was Nezu’s Christmas gift for all of the hero course students. Bakugo opened the tea drawer, grabbing you each a packet of sleepytime zen tea before walking back over to you. You worked in silence then, enjoying each other’s company as you made your own cups.

Your relationship with Bakugo was unique. You admired him, even when he was a bit of an asshole at the beginning of the school year. You’ve enjoyed watching him grow and working beside him as a teammate. You were inspired by his tenacity and drive. You liked how smart and witty he was, and how he could be funny even when he didn’t realize it. It also didn’t hurt that he was actually pretty cute. And all of the same things went for you in his eyes. He admired your kindness and your courage. He was inspired by the way you had such a big heart but you were no push over, standing up to him when he got too rough with his words or during training. In his eyes, it was like you were one of the only people to give him a chance, getting to know him past his rough exterior. You two had gotten closer during the year, training and studying together sometimes. You began to sit next to him for lunch, stealing small pieces of chicken from his plate while he stole beef from yours. You were the only one with that privilege. Eventually, you became this unlabeled, unspoken thing. You didn’t have to confess your feelings because he knew, and you knew how he felt about you even if he’s never admitted it.

You softly sipped your tea, allowing the warm liquid to run down your throat and causing you to sigh. He stirred his own cup, watching the spoon go around and around. Technically, there was nothing else for you two to do in the kitchen. Technically, you could’ve parted ways right here and drank your own cups in your rooms. But you couldn’t bear to leave him. Deep down, you both didn’t want to be alone tonight.

“Bakugo?” He looked up as you said his name. “Could I sleep over in your room tonight? I don’t think I want to be alone”

All he did was scoff, pick up his mug and began walking towards the staircase. When he realized you weren’t following, he scowled and turned to look at you.

“Let’s go brat. I’m missing out on my beauty sleep”

—————

Ps: im starting to do requests! So if you have an idea for me, go ahead and put it in my asks <3

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buckleysbitch · 2 days

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summary - short n sweet ellie x swiftie!reader fluff for your souls!!

listen to ellie’s taylor swift playlist here 🫶🏻

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“ellieee,” you groan, her nu metal practically shaking her side mirrors, how she hasn’t blown out the speakers is beyond you. “i love you. i love your music. if i hear limp bizkit for one more minute i might die.”

your girlfriend sighs, and changes gears on her old beat up truck as you reach a red light, out in what seems to be, well, the middle of nowhere. ellie’s late night drives were always perfect, she always found the most majestic looking places without even trying. tonight was perfect, a sweet, crisp summer evening. somehow, you made it up a gorgeous mountain, the late setting sun painting a lavender and peach hazy sky.

“alright….just this once.”

one thing about ellie? do NOT mess with her radio while she’s driving. but when you gaze up at her with those doe eyes and puffy lips, she can’t help but give in to you.

giggling, you plug your phone into the aux, immediately going to a playlist you made just for the occasion. you’ve been waiting for your opportunity.

taylist (ellie’s version) 🌿

“dude! seriously?” she chuckles, her calloused hand palming the wheel, face flushed.

“whaaat! i need to convert you!” you whine, shuffling the playlist, one of the many folklore songs you added popping up on the dashboard.

cardigan - folklore

⇄ ◁◁ I I ▷▷ ↻

⁰⁰ ²⁵ ━━●━━━━━━━━ ⁰² ⁰⁸

humming along, you follow the moons perch up in the sky, fleeting through trees and houses.

as the chorus begins, ellie’s demeanor softens. she never disliked taylor, but it wasn’t really her style. but this…was music she could feel. the way you knew every note like it was the story of your life was magnetizing. it was nothing like the pop hits she usually heard the blonde belting out on the radio.

as ellie reaches another red light, she grips your chin softly, pulling you into an enchanting kiss, the glow of the stop light in the distance.

“well what was all that for, stupid?” you giggle into her lips, her eyes glued to you the entire time.

“i dunno….the song just made me feel that way….i guess?” she chuckles, the light turning a bright green. after a moment of hesitation, ellie speaks again.

“can…can we listen to more?”

“i converted you!! i KNEW IT!”

join my taglist!

@ellies2missingfingers @ellieslob @elliewilliamsloverrrrrrr @pretty-forest-nymph @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @luvhyekook @drunkonnatasha @seraphicsentences @elliewilliamsmaingirl @lasting_lover @asmrgirl @tragedyslut @asher353 @paqerings @elsdoll @marsworlddd @hi-so-idk @claymoreshaze @ariariarr @kaitlynsposi @g414xii @ilovephoebebridgerrrs

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frikatilhi · 3 days

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good morning, is sad bojere bitches working hours yet? Is the office open? *banging on a door✊️*

I keep thinking about that "Bojan where are you send me something!"... What if the calls really stopped and it's been not a week but a month or more? The last time they tried to make a call something was always in a way on both ends so they just said they'll try again next time, but without fixing a date. And Jere tried sending couple of memes but Bojan was busy recording so he replied only much later and only a reaction... And now it feels to Jere like he might be bothering him so he's trying not to reach out anymore 😭 but he's missing Bojan so much especially now with all the shit that gone down and all the anniversaries 😭😭 he's thinking "of course Bojan doesn't need someone who keeps landing in a mess, it's been a year anyway he's much younger and much prettier it's okay if he has to move on" 😭😭😭 but Jere is waiting of course, grabbing his phone at every vibration... hoping it's him this time... Maybe he can even make the trip to Slovenia happen this year instead of next year... will it be too late? will Bojan even want him there? *Jere's voice inside his head* 😭😭😭😭

Come on in, we're open for business!

*reads the rest*

HEY NOW WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT---

I absolutely refuse to accept this, but let's say for the sake of the argument that meanwhile, on Bojan's side, he's missing Jere like crazy but since he's left him on read too many times now he doesn't know what to say, and he doens't go on insta or twitter so he doesn't even know everything that's going on... But then they post the new song online and watch the esc final and it hits him how it's the anniversary of everything, and this time Jere is there without him, and it seems like such a shitshow, is he holding up okay???

And he finally picks up the phone and calls and they talk all through the night, about everything, and Bojan says Jere's doing so well despite everything and it'll all be alright and I'm with you no matter what, okay??

And Jere says that his fall tour dates are published soon and there's a Ljubljana date there with a few spare days around it, and if Bojan's up for it he could maybe show him around..?

And Bojan pretends to think about it, I dunno man I might be busy??

To which Jere says he's a little shit and smells like it too and all is well the end

#ask #sad bojere bitches support group #goddammit anon

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rwby-encrusted-blog · 1 day

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We've seen Jaune's extended family and We've seen _NPR's extended family....

BUT

What about Ozpin's extended family? I can totally see Gojo and Raiden (MGRR) being openly related to Ozpin. Gojo would DEFINITELY try and hit on Glynda just to piss of Ironwood lmao

Hmm. I dunno about Raiden. It's not just about looks, it's also about Powers, Vibes, and fighting style. Gojo Makes sense, Raiden feels more like a Schnee Cousin or one of Adam's relatives.

~~~~~

Yang: There's no way they're younger than 55.

Nora: Look at them! Look at their smooth skin and brilliant smiles and tell me that they're old!

Ozpin: Frieren, it has been too long since we last talked.

Frieren: It has been. You seem to be doing well.

Ozpin: Indeed I am. My apprentice has been doing well.

Frieren: Oh yes, that Pine boy. How old is he now?

Ozpin: Uhh ... Fourteen I believe.

Frieren: Hmm. "Time does Fly" as they say.

Ozpin: How has Fern Been?

Frieren: Very well. Developing into a fine young woman.

Ozpin: ...

Frieren: ... Your students are following us.

Ozpin: I'm quite aware.

*Bush_Rustle.MP3*

Ozpin: And now, they are not.

Frieren: I can tell. I can also tell that you are Tired.

Ozpin: I have been tired for a long time.

Frieren: ...

Ozpin: ...

Frieren: I will find a way to free you. I haven't stopped looking.

Ozpin: I know. And you know what I'll tell you about that, right?

Frieren: "I know how to free myself, I'm still just figuring it out."

Ozpin: It's good to know your memory hasn't faded with age.

Frieren: I'd say the same, but your wit is lacking it's sharpness, you foolhardy coot.

Ozpin: What can I say? It is nice to see an old friend after so many years.

Frieren: *smiling in silence*

Ozpin: *Smiling with her*

???: *Distantly* EXPLOOOOSION!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*

Ozpin: Ah, It seem is I may need to check on another visitor. Apologies for cutting our time short, but I know well we are not lacking in it's supply. Good day.

Frieren: A good day to you as well Ozma.

~~~~~

Gojo: *Laying on Ozpin's desk* Hey Hey! If it isn't the most Cursed man himself, and I've got to say, you are looking pretty alright for your age.

Ozpin: Thank you Mister Satoru. Please get out of my office.

Gojo: I'm just checkin' in, making sure you don't have anything you shouldn't. Your office seems clean!

Ozpin: I should certainly hope so. Glynda!

Gojo: Hey hey hey, There's no need to be so rough with your Cousin!

Glynda: *Lifting Gojo with her semblance* You know you aren't supposed to be in here.

Gojo: *Not resisting her* Fine, I'll go at the request of such a gorgeous lady~

Glynda: *Flinging him into the elavator* Out.

Gojo: Wait a minute!

Ozpin: WHAT!

???: *Distantly* EXPLOOOOSION!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*

Gojo: You should go check on that.

Glynda: ... That girl is infuriating.

Ozpin: Not as much as her teammates.

~~~~~~

Marcille: *Shoveling food into her mouth*

Ozpin: You must be hungry.

Marcille: *Gulp* For something Normal? Absolutely! This is like a Cheat day without Senshi to scold me for eating things that aren't balanced. *Overdramatic Sniffle* It's been so long since I had chocolate ...

Ozpin: Well ... just try not to overeat. I know it can be tempting to have more than your fill of luxury, but do try not to make yourself ill.

Marcille: ... *Sigh* Fine. How have you been?

Ozpin: Tired, but things have been improving. It is nice to see you again my dear.

Marcille: "My Dear"? You are old.

Ozpin: Yes, yes I am. How has Falin been recovering?

Marcille: Fairly well, Laios has been by her side day and night. He's not been sleeping well, and when he does he has nightmares. I worry for him.

Ozpin: Ah yes, I have a current student that is quite like Mr Touden, though he is a bit more charming with people.

Marcille: "A bit?"

Ozpin: Yes, He's not as well read, but he is somewhat better at reading people-

???: *Distantly* EXPLOOOOSION!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*

Ozpin: *White Knuckling Long Memory* I swear if my hair wasn't already white- I'm afraid I have to go check Someone Marcille. Please eat until you're full and comfortable, then give Falin, Laios, Senshi, and Chilchuck my greetings and well wishes.

~~~~~

???: Excuse me Headmaster Ozpin, I have an Inquiry.

Ozpin: Oh- Oh hello. I see my reputation proceeds me, What is you're name miss ...

2B: I am referred to as 2B. I am searching for one "Pietro Polendina."

Ozpin: He'll be with the Atlesians, over-

???: EXPLOOOOSION!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*

Ozpin: WHERE IS SHE!

2B: *Sword at the ready* The source of that detonation came from that direction.

Ozpin: Thank you! I will handle this myself, you may go.

2B: Is that an Order?

Ozpin: Yes!

2B: *Sheathing her sword* Very well.

~~~~~

???: Move it Kazuma!

Kazuma: I'm going, I'm going! Calm down.

Ozpin: You two!

Megumin: Aw crud

Ozpin: Have you been launching those explosions off?

Kazuma: Megumin has. Why?

Ozpin: You've been causing disturbances, damaging property, and driving me to near madness!

Kazuma: Well Megumin said she she got perm-

Kazuma: You lied didn't you?

Megumin: ... I didn't think anyone would care ...

Kazuma: Really? Again Megumin!

Ozpin: Mr. Sato, please go on back the dormitories. I will take the young mage here to be written up for her infractions and returned to her cousins.

Kazuma: *Dropping her* Alright, sounds good to me.

Megumin: Jerk!

Ozpin: Come on, Let's get you back to Miss Rose and Miss Xiao-long.

Megumin: *Grumble*

#crossover #rwby crossover #rwby #ozpin #professor ozpin #frieren #megumin #kazuma satou #2b #yorha no.2 type b #gojo satoru #glynda goodwitch #marcille donato #asks and answers #rwbysworld #rwby au #remnant's extended families

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kosmicdream · 2 days

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I love manga and comics, but I gotta say. So many of the series i have found most influential to my work either won’t finish, have not finished, or finished in a sort of unsatisfying way. Even if they’re fine, its usually not like.. IT. This is a pretty common experience. I have had a lot more luck watching movies that have endings that felt worth the experience and I’ve started to try to read in hopes to get more exposure to “good endings”.. But i do wish it was more common in my favorite medium to like, have that experience! Even when the endings are pretty good (and there are some, i personally think “paradise kiss” had a great ending that makes me return to the series multiple times over the decades) - I also am like.. I dunno. Its never the highlight of the story, you know. Its not the main reason why you’d read it, is the ending. I would assume most stories across all mediums, the ending isn’t going to be the “best part” anyway. However, after finally finishing watching UTENA earlier this year, I can say that at least for that series (no movie spoilers pls, i still havent seen it ;n;) the ending was in fact, the best part to me and made the entire experience even more memorable and worthwhile to watch. Months later, I’m still kinda amazed that happened! Wish it was not so rare, but also what a treat to get to see something like that felt like what i think an ending to a story should be. Still not a manga/comic ofc, but y’kno. Still good.

Other strong endings for me were: Paradise Kiss (as I said above), There will be blood, Monster, NGE (specifically end of evangelion) … umm! I don’t know.. Is that really it for me? I like the 98’ Trigun end, but i also hated it as a teenager. So its more of a “nostalgic” one to me, same with Princess Mononoke. I’ll include those just for the sake of having more to think of. There’s plenty more i am fine with and enjoy fine enough.. but i guess its a lot harder for me to find ones that last in my head as what i find to be a satisfying & impressive end.. Of course, endings are all based on taste. Maybe i just haven’t seen enough endings. I think this contributes, along with a plethora of other elements, why writing endings are so hard! There’s just a lot you want to say and it is such a long journey to get there anyway. You are filled with doubt with your executions of ideas, or maybe find the ending you thought of less satisfying than you used to think it was. The longer you spend with something, the more you might find issues. Plus, it really is so hard just to get there. You’re usually falling over with exhaustion just to get to the finish line, let alone do the ending of your dreams. I know when i get to the ends of my chapters, i’m usually so desperate just to get there, i end up feeling like they come out poorly vrs my vision for them.

Yes.. i have been thinking about endings a lot. Its just something that’s always on my mind, with NRD nearing its close. It still is going to take time of course, but as I revise the last chapters I’m still like left with a lot of feelings with wondering how it’ll come out, if i can even do it, ect. I know i will, its inevitable. But after that, well, my big struggle with FFAK will continue. I know that NRD has given me more tools to handle a series as long as FFAK, but its still getting older and it can be harder to understand all the things I wanted to say with it, what I still can say with it and what is the most valuable to say with it. I can’t do everything! And i certainly have more ideas for it than I could draw, I’m excited to have the story close too. Before it used to make me too upset to even think it i’d cry.. But now i’m like yeah! I wanna know too. I want to share what I thought of, even if its not what readers might have thought it was going to be like. Honestly, with every choice i make in the story, i always have had at least 1 or 2 other options, and I get attached to the other versions of the story that i dont get to make. They all end up very different ends, but still more or less the same story regardless.

Anyway, just some thoughts on writing and comics today…

#ffak #feast for a king #nasty red dogs #writing thoughts

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neversetyoufree · 1 year

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New VnC teaser on Mochijun’s twitter go look at it and then scream with me under the cut

First of all. Noé holding Domi’s face and making THAT expression is going to drive me genuinely fucking insane. Holy hell.

We get a DomiNoé talk next chapter. They're going to talk and, given that this spread looks like a scene transition, the scene where they talk ends like this. Noé looking down at Domi with his hand on her face.

Also, the shot of the quill and the text boxes mean that we're getting more narration from future Noé. I'm like 95% sure that hasn't happened since the end of chapter 12, so like. !!. I have been waiting for this for so long. I'm obsessed with future Noé showing up once every forty-ish chapters just to drop some ominous foreshadowing in the narration. Genuinely so psyched for this.

Not even getting into the shots of the Lady Archiviste, these two panels alone have me losing my absolute mind.

#that shot of Domi and Noé has me feeling sooo #I dunno how to feel about it. I feel so many ways #it's impossible to really glean anything from a single panel with no context or dialogue. but like #on one hand it's very very good that they're talking and this very much could be a shot from a happy moment #but at the same time something about it is unsettling me #It's the blocking it's the eyebrows it's the way she's below him and we can't see her face #this moment could go so many ways there could be so many different implications depending on how this ends up fitting into context #I'm so fucking excited you guys #vnc #mochitwit #ID in alt text #theory #<<kinda. in the 'it's about future events' sense at least

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macadam · 2 years

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I think why I’m so elated by every piece of weird ass transformers lore I learn about is that I enjoy seeing what writers can get away with in such a big-name franchise. It’s gotten exhausting watching every franchise slowly lose its charm over the ages in pursuit of being palatable to the masses.

There’s definitely something to be said about how writers don’t get to put their all into these mainstream stories because they have to be so palatable. It’s hard to enjoy what you make when it has to walk the tightrope between being a compelling story, and pleasing shareholders. Stories lose their heart, when writers can’t make it theirs, y’know?

Seeing the stuff that slides in transformers media, the weird shit that is still slipping through the cracks, jro in his entirety, feels like a deviation from that. The first thought that always goes through my head is “haha how is this official canon media. Who okayed this?” And the answer is probably no one, really. The writers get to have fun. We still get to see a glimpse of the insane well why not quirky 80s toy ad that transformers started off as. It brings me a lot of joy to see that the goofiness and absurdity is still there, somewhere.

The fact that so much of the weird lore sits right on the surface is so wonderful, too. These aren’t some obscure side comics, or a failed tv show. So much of it is at the very front of the franchise.

It’s nice to see transformers writers still winning, I guess.

#weird shit feels real #and well loved #and it’s funny #I dunno #mac thinks too much #transformers #thinking about how when I first read tf fanfics #well there was a lot of canon stuff I thought there was no way was canon #but like #holoforms? that’s in tfa. front and centre #but I thought there’s no way that’s canon cause it felt so quirky #and there’s an endless selection of other examples I could give #where I was like there’s no way this was allowed to exist. it’s too odd #but it does #transformers is allowed to push the envelope in so many ways #explore the whole nature of how sentient robots would work #it’s very refreshing after existing in like.. starwars and dc spaces where all the fantastical stuff #was annexed in favour of a more mainstream palatable story #won’t even start on marvel #transformers is a little oasis. all the official writers are insane (for better or worse)#it’s amazing

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blujayonthewing · 6 months

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extremely important to me that my satyr is completely sweet and naive and gentle and innocent and is still a satyr who loves to drink and do drugs and have as much sex as possible, likewise extremely important to me that my goofy little kooky mad scientist archetype wizard with a silly voice and funny eccentricities is also unironically beautiful and desirable and capable of sincere attraction and love, extremely and equally important to me for different reasons that are the same reason

#feeling so normal about the way I'm perceived by others tonight lol lmao #I think about 'nott is child coded' shipping discourse all the fucking time #in some ways she seemed naive and childlike #and in other ways I think she was just A Weirdo in a way female characters often don't get to be #and from either angle the result is someone who makes people extremely uncomfortable to imagine as having a sex life or even a libido #as a grown woman who is in many ways both childlike and just unappealingly weird. I think about it a lot.#hey maybe people who seem soft and sweet and gentle are also fully realized people with thoughts and depth and life experiences #hey maybe people who seem weird in a way *you* find unattractive are also fully realized people with thoughts and depth and life experience #maybe when you in real life are the quirky and deeply unsexy weirdo side character of a person this all feels very personal to you #I know I've talked about this before and I'm sure I will again #I don't know how else to think about things except repeatedly and aloud #I don't know what else I can do about feeling like I don't get to be seen as a whole person except talk about it #... ironic as doing so through the lens of my fictional characters may be #I dunno. I dunno. I need to go to sleep #about me #my OCs #nyssa #melliwyk

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the-dragon-invasion-is-near · 3 months

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Every now and then i think about the songs that the broadway production of Jekyll & Hyde changed/removed and i get Strong Feelings (tm) about "Bring on the men" and "The world has gone insane"

#and then the Feelings expand to almost all of the songs in the Anthony Warlow's version #augaugahg there are so many things that were just better #but i get specially strong feelings about the world has gone insane #is just such a good and fun song #i would love to see an actor on stage perform it #a dragon chirps #the broadway version pains me #some o the actors are really good tho #also there has to be a better way to do confrontation #the spinning is just not it #the kermit version is way better #an Joey's on shitty broadway #jekyll and hyde #jekyll & hyde #dunno how to tag te damn musical #jekyll and hyde musical #musical theatre

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zincbot · 25 days

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the hits stop coming and they don't stop coming

#every time i think i can't feel worse i discover a new blow #TO BE FAIR. IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN THAT BAD #i'm just like. really sensitive or something annoying like that #the worst part is that usually when i'm feeling low i can hinge my feelings on smth like 'if this happens that means everything will be okay #but then sometimes. it happens. and i still feel like the world is ending. so that didn't work now what do i do #ugh i didn't even feel this bad when i was like in the hospital a few months ago and it's literally just like. (in summary)#2 people i love are mad at me. i did really poorly in my exams and might lose my gpa. my car (highly attached) is breaking down and i need #get a new one #i start a new job tomorrow and i heard bad things about it from my classmates who started before me #+ i have serious doubts in my ability to dress neatly and well with all my shitty poorman clothes #+ i started breaking out #+ i just noticed i lost a bunch of weight likely from my hospital stay and i dunno how to get that back #+ my doctor said i'm not likely to get full mobility back at this point and it's upsetting me #also my spare tires are missing #ugh i'll be fine. i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine. i'll be fine #i'm good at dealing BUT ONLY WITH SOME OF THESE. i can deal with the car and the job and the health. but interpersonal shit?#which is the thing upsetting me the most? wow surprise surprise local autist doesn't do people good #UGH anyway sorry for complaints on main i just feel like i got too many straws rn #it's 10:30pm i'm sure i'll feel better in the morning (ignoring the fact that i've been feeling almost exactly like this for days)#ugh. it's fine. i'll deal. only way out is through or whatever

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tokyoteddywolf · 2 months

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22 isn't very much at all, I think.

#5am rambles #anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out #first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay #cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope #i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.

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sysig · 4 months

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Oh heck yeah

So y’know how how every Sim made as an adult starts out with the generic “Mystery Sim” as their teenage love?

(Which I mean. Is fine. Personally I’d prefer nothing but it’s not bad as such lol)

Well I finally dug around in the SimPE memory tab to see what I could mess with without - hopefully - breaking anything this time, and well :3

Hehe ♪

And as further proof that that wasn’t just him getting rejected after I put them on the lot (though “Very First Kiss” is only a teen option and I made them both as adults) -

I modified his very first memory to be meeting Dex!

I also gave him this very rare memory of being attracted to Dex for funsies hehe ♥

#WPTS2 #WPVG #The Sims #The Sims 2 #I love SimPE <3 #Apparently that ''Attracted to'' memory can be flagged in the game but it's really hard to come by!#From the very cursory glance I took around it seems like it's initiated by seeing a Sim - not necessarily meeting them - with 2+ attraction #So at least two lightning bolts - and Sims tend only to notice other Sims when they use ''Scope Room''#The chances of seeing another Sim with enough for 2+ bolts is pretty low admittedly haha - it's cute tho! I like it :D #And I especially like the idea of Max meeting Dex and being like ''Oh. OH'' lol #Oh I just realized the ''Be Rejected'' memory is green oops - I'll have to go back in and see what setting I missed lol #I'm just pleased I was able to mess with them at all! :D Definitely planning to do this with the Vargases and the ''official'' Helix boys ♪#I've moved Max in! I found a custom house in my lots that had basically the exact driveway that I had envisioned so I had to use it ♥#The house itself could probably use some work - honestly I'd like to sit down and make a floorplan of how I see the Helix house sometime #But the point is!! I can make and modify memories!! Excellent!!#I dunno if it quite aligns with my Sap personality trait but I do feel some kind of way about being able to modify Max's memories like this #Like how he canonically tried to kiss Dexter as a teen and that is reflected here in the teen-specific memory I fjslafjd #Does make me wonder haha Max is based on ZEX and while he was broken up about it - could that have really been his first kiss?#Sheltered poor little rich kid hmmm ♪♫ How many people would he even have access to kiss haha #Helix #SCII

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pilotstreets · 1 year

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god. not to be sad online. but im sad online

#um. sorry i went on a really really long rant abt my emotions in the tags. hehehoho im sad!#im just like. there's no way im getting older. i feel like i haven't changed since i was 14 and i feel so disconnected from everything #my birthday is in like 3 weeks but i keep thinking im turning 15 or 16 again and i'll be able to live my teenage years again and #do it right this time or something but no! that's not how that works! obviously!#when my best friend turned 18 she immediately started saying ''im an adult im different im older'' but like #i think about how i'll be 18 soon and im just scared and im going to be holding onto teenage years and #fantasies about them that will never happen and it's just exhausting #i know i sound like such a dramatic teenager but i AM a dramatic teenager!#i had so much shit happen to me that made me lose out on so much of being a teenager and it's like #crushing that i'll never get those years back and other peoples choices ruined my life before i had a chance to have much of one #and i've missed out on so many experiences that all my friends got and i feel such a barrier between me and other people #for that reason and i also feel a disconnect between me and literally everybody i know #and making friends is literally impossible for me anymore and i just feel like i keep losing friends and one day i'll wake up and #i won't have anyone anymore. and i find it hard to talk to people who were my best friends for awhile and i just fall deeper into this #pit of loneliness every day and there's nothing i can do so i just give up. i dunno #im so tired and im just so so lonely and done with. existing #and im also never anybody's first choice which is always annoying but #and it's just.... heartbreaking to think about how my best friend will never choose me when her other best friend is there and #how when we all hang out they're both actually mean to me and there's just nothing i can do other than text my mom and cry #and it makes me doubt how much she cares if she gets that way so easily y'know?#ugh it's all juvenile problems but they just weigh so heavily on me :/#okay enough oversharing online for the night im going to sleep now. then tomorrow i'll just #have the same thoughts and it'll only get worse

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quibbs126 · 2 years

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Actually, speaking of Claire, another thing that kind of bothered me is how 3 separate characters were in love with her

Like, okay, she was Hershel’s girlfriend. Aight. Oh, Don Paolo had a thing for her too and that’s why he hates Layton? I mean all right, I can see that for Don Paolo. But then you tell me Dimitri also was in love with Claire, and this starts to feel a bit weird. Like I’m not saying someone can’t have three people in love with them, just look at Lucy in Dracula; it’s just that we have three characters here motivated by their love for one lady, and I feel like that’s a bit too many

#like I first saw Dimitri in a fic before getting to Unwound Future and it said something about him loving Claire #whom I already knew was Layton’s girlfriend at the time #but there I thought it was some sort of platonic love #like I don’t know how to describe what I understood it as #the fic told me she was an intern at his research lab so I assumed there was at least a few years between them #so I think I saw it as him thinking she was a bright young woman with a promising future ahead of her and I care deeply for her #and want to see her succeed #like he loved her but not in a romantic way #but they weren’t close enough that you could give them a pseudo familial relationship #does that make sense?#I just don’t see why we needed this many characters all motivated by a girl they liked #like I think Claire’s neat nothing against her but did she really deserve this much meaning to everyone’s lives #I feel like that sounds meaner than I intend again I mean no offense to Claire she seems li #*like a neat character #I dunno just something that irks me #professor layton #professor layton and the unwound future #claire foley #dimitri allen #hershel layton #don paolo

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mrs-kelly · 1 year

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Good morning ❤️❤️❤️ at some point yesterday like. When I woke up from my nap. My feelings for Charlie just. Suddenly got even stronger. And. I don’t even know what to do or say about it adfhjkl

#idk if it’s bc I’m leaning on him so much this week with starting school and still working #but I’m feeling soemthing for him that like. I’ve never experienced before #I already felt soemthing different for him than my other f/o’s but like. this is something else even than that #idek how to describe it.#I just. man. it’s like I love him EVEN MORE #and I didn’t know it was possible to love him more than I did #like he’s already on my mind 24/7 and I’ve already got the always Charlie sets and his shirt #and I watch the clips every day and imagine him with me all the time like #how is there even more love?? how do I feel even more love??#usually going that hard would lead me to burning out but it’s only made me love him MORE #and it’s amazing like… it makes me really happy #but it’s also like. what do I DO with more of these feelings ahdjffl #am I just. gonna be even gushier than normal. I have so many more feelings in my hands and I dunno where to put them #like last night I fell asleep imagining I was sleeping on his chest…#and I woke up laying the same way like an hour later. just bc I was dreaming and suddenly thought about him #and it was like my brain activity shot up so high that I couldn’t stay asleep. I had to wake up and really think about him #so I laid there for awhile and thought about him until I passed back out ahfjfl #and then I didn’t dream of him but just. the feeling of him was permeated all throughout my dreams #I was dreaming of other things but just thinking about him in every spare moment #and then I woke up and I didn’t even feel annoyed about going to work like #I was just excited to be able to spend another day with Charlie. which. I mean that’s normal but #I feel literally unbothered by anything I have to do today. just bc I get to think about him today #and my power is back on so I get to make a set and write about him and…#man I’m like. getting ridiculously happy thinking about it ahfjfl #I just. man. I’m falling deeper and deeper in love with him I guess #idk he just. he makes me so happy. he brings me so much joy #having Charlie in my life has only brought me so much goodness and sunshine…#I’m so. aaaa 🥺 I’m so in love with him…#ren speaks #renlie

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westywallowing · 2 years

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Male audience of Naruto here (when it first came out), most of me and my male friends just hated the fact that Sasuke ruined the characters around him which turned into hate of the characters that were ruined by him. Like why did Sakura and Naruto revolve around him so much that they ditched important parts of their characters? Disgusting. Friendship shouldn't mean sticking by a disgusting a-hole so much so that you forget your own morals. I want a reboot of Naruto without Sasuke lmao.

yeaaaahhhh he definitely has the most conflicting part in the storyline. on one hand, half of the plot revolved around him so characters wouldn't have gotten to grow and develope without him. but on the other hand he spends 95% of the series being a complete piece of shit who honestly doesn't deserve the devotion his friends gave him 😒

#like i feel like there are so many more interesting ways to write his story #i like the fact that hes a deeply complex and twisted person because of his trauma and sorrow #but i dunno. something about how it was written has never sat right with me #he really just beat down every character around him #ask #anon #anime talk

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