#I hope as I meet more trans people and actively include trans community in my life I can meet trans people far older than me

[bisexualamy]

I am so deeply blessed to have so many trans people in their 20s and 30s in my life. To hear all of their different coming out and gender journeys and watch them become the people they were meant to be at the time they’re meant to be it. I used to feel so much imposter syndrome about the fact that it took going through nearly all of first puberty to learn that I was trans. That it meant my gender was fake, that the time had passed me by, that it took two years of slowly coming out as nb only then to realize that no, I’m a man, and by then I was 19. 19 is so young. One day 26 will be so young. You have so much time.

#if there is ever a week for reflections like this it is this one #I hope as I meet more trans people and actively include trans community in my life I can meet trans people far older than me #I have met so many trans children and teens. Kids who also escaped from when I grew up. Kids who only know me bc my mother is unashamed tha #I’m her son and their parents know to speak to her about their own trans children #I’m so happy we are all here. I’m so happy you are here. Whenever you join us know that we’re lucky to have you #ren speaks

[rott1ngbra1n]

First off! I wanna go ahead and drop some fun art stuff I’ve been doing as I’ve been watching Dragons Rising season 2, which I’ve been loving!

I did a version of Arin before but it wasn’t my favorite so a redo! More AlleyCat stuff and obligatory Cole, because I love him.

I do have more Ninjago Art I want to do (Still need to finish that Cole and Morro friend piece-) and I have some other fandom art I also want to do, but I’ll explain more under the cut as well as why I’ve been gone or a bit less active everywhere. This is optional you do not have to read under the cut!

TW// Transphobia

For those unaware I am a trans man, I go by a different name: both online and IRL (online for privacy’s sake), I also work as a barista due to being a college student and needing to save money for moving away from my own transphobic parents. That’s a whole other story. But at work there was a coworker of mine who was consistently transphobic towards me whenever we worked together. It had been going on since June of last year (The irony of it starting during pride month made me and my friends laugh) but it escalated after I returned from New York, so much so I had to go to management.

Myself. Management had been informed by my best friend (who also works with me) about it and was told it was “gossip”. Ok. Sure- So I informed management of the new incidents and was told I had options, the first being to have a meeting with me, the transphobe, and my manager to discuss the issues. I said no so my manager went to the DM to find another solution. To give even more context, the transphobe couldn’t even be transphobic to my face most times it was always told behind my back to my best friend.

That’s how I knew my manager talked to the transphobe one on one, cause the transphobe right after the meeting went to said best friend. Telling her “not to tell me as she didn’t want to start drama” Cool, I feel so cool. I was very mad, went back to my manager with it, had that meeting with myself, the transphobe, and manager. Where my emotions were downplayed and the transphobe said she had “never interacted with a trans person before and didn’t know what she said was wrong.” OK.

SURE.

After that we assumed it was over, my manager made an incident report, but it didn’t stop the transphobe still kept talking behind my back to others. Despite me talking respectfully of her. More context all the talking behind my back happened at work while on the clock. After a while I just went about my day, then Ethics and Compliance called. They spoke to everyone involved, including me and I relayed more about my testimony. They said they would be investigating and I assumed it would take a while, then finally. I was informed that the transphobe was in fact fired.

This whole situation, along with other personal stuff going on with me, caused so much stress. To the point I tended to fallback into habits I had thought I fixed, mainly regarding my physical health. Even at points hating myself for just existing and having been born wrong.

I’m thankfully doing so much better now and have recently gotten diagnosed with Autism, something I knew I had but didn’t fully understand for a while. I’ve been getting better existing in a world knowing the people that are my blood hate me, knowing that eventually, I will never be able to be loved by my parents or sister. I have friends and coworkers who support me and I want to support other people in this community.

With that said I’m back to making more art! I’m building a portfolio for animation and to intern next year, I also will be trying to post more animations to here when I finish them! I also will still be active in the Ninjago fandom, I’ve loved this show since it came out in 2011 y’all can pry it from my cold dead hands-

But I do want to make more original work, I want to do more Star Wars work, QSMP art and animations, and more Musical Theater art whether it be Broadway or Indie productions. I hope people enjoy what I make, especially some of my original characters as I’ve gotten to work on Cybernetic more thanks to my animation class. You’ll see more of it as we go!

Thank you if you’ve read this and thank you for supporting me!

#art #my art #digital art #fanart #lego ninjago #lego ninjago fanart #lego ninjago lloyd #lego ninjago morro #ninjago #lego ninjago cole #ninjago fanart #ninjago cole #ninjago lloyd #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising fanart #dragons rising #ninjago arin #life update

[eli-writes-sometimes]

Eli Writes Sometimes - Updated Intro/Masterpost

Last updated - 23/1/24

UPDATE - I'm on a bit of a writing hiatus, I've been exhausted recently and not had much motivation, so I haven't been writing as much. This blog is now mainly reblogs, but I am hoping to get back into original writing soon when I'm less tired all the time. Thanks for understanding :)

(normal intro below)

Hi! I'm Eli! I write sometimes (as the name would suggest)! I'm trying to be more active here on writblr, so I'm redoing my intro so it's more up to date with what I'm writing now.

About me

My name is Elias, but I go by Eli most of the time

My pronouns are it/he (interchangeable, but please don't just use he/him)

I'm a minor, so please be respectful of that

When not writing, I play the flute and the piccolo

This is the picrew I made my icon with

@ev-enhotterthanyou is the best no 1 fan I could ask for <3

Where to find me

I have a shitpost/fandom blog at @eli-is-an-idiot

Currently planning to upload my stories online somewhere, working on that at the moment, check back soon for an update!

About this blog

As you might have guessed, this is a writblr!

I'm aiming to read and reblog other's writing, as well as posting more of my own original writing

I primarily write fantasy, with a focus on queer characters, found family and magic, as well as stories based on my own experiences

WIPs under the cut

I have a lot of old ideas and rambles about stories on here, so if you see something from a few months ago and don't see it here, I've either given up on it or just not had any ideas for it recently and it felt wrong having it in my intro

Ok with:

Being tagged in tag games - I love these, and I want to try and interact with other people in this community more, so if you want to tag me in anything, please do!

On a similar note, feel free to send me asks or DMs about your WIPs or OCs, or just anything you want to talk about, I'm always happy to listen!

On the other hand, if you want to ask questions about my WIPs, I'd love that :)

Not ok with:

Any kind of hate speech or prejudice

TERFS, transphobes, homophobes, ableists, racists or anyone that doesn't respect other people's existence - unkindly fuck off

Bullying

Entirely NSFW or 18+ blogs (I'm a minor)

Wips and navigation under the cut:

Tags:

There is quite a noticeable pattern in my tags, if you couldn't tell

General writing things - #eli writes sometimes

Things that don't include my writing (including games) - #eli doesnt write sometimes

Tag games - #eli tags sometimes

Ask games - #eli answers sometimes

Art - #eli arts sometimes

Reading- #eli reads sometimes

Each WIP has its own specific tag

WIPs:

I have a lot of old, dead or on-hiatus WIPs, so if you see anything about God of Chaos, Face the Music, For All In-Tents and Purposes or Jason King's Guide to the Supernatural, then those are all old stories of mine that I do want to go back to someday, but these are my main ones:

The Princess, the Pauper, and the Pirate

My main WIP, currently working on it the most and doing a nanowrimo-like challenge where I try to write 50000 words in three months rather than one

Three strangers. Three stories.  When Kai, Vera, and Rune’s paths cross in the middle of the forest, the three of them share stories and swear to help each other, come what may, as allies in a world out to get them. Together, they face everything from pirates to cruel parents, and work to try and take down the system that stacked the cards against them from the start.  Will they succeed, or will they be crushed like everyone else? 

Intro post HERE

Genre - High fantasy

Status - First draft

Specific WIP tag - #wip ppp

Face the Music

My NaNo WIP, I hit 50K and then immediately started working on something else, so there will be stuff about it, but not as much as PPP

When Miles Baldwin, a quiet kid who keeps to himself, is sent to a three-week long music camp, it sounds like a death sentence. But as he meets new friends, including trans boy Finn who is loud and proud about his identity, he starts to come around, even beginning to question his own gender. Irritatingly, not everyone is as open to change as Miles and his friends, and as the music swells and tension builds before the final concert, can Miles come to terms with his identity without falling victim to the bigoted nature of his fellow players?

intro post HERE

Status - First draft

Specific WIP tag - #face the music (I also used #eli does nano 2023 for other nano stuff)

Superlosers

Four roommates, each with a unique power, each with their own set of wildly different personalities. They barely know each other, the rent is due, and an egomaniacal villain is threatening to destroy everything they hold dear - and only they seem to care or want to do anything about it. For the sake of the world, let's hope they can get their priorities straight.

Intro post HERE

Genre - Urban fantasy

Specific WIP tag - #superlosers

The Remnants of Shadows

When beloved Alya Maxwell, renowned pillar of the small community of Blackburn, disappears with only shadows swarming around her house to give any idea of her fate, no one really seems to care, giving up on her as a lost cause.  But two teenagers, both from totally different background and both with their separate reasons for trusting her, don’t accept this, and they begin to dig into what really happened. But when old, buried secrets begin to emerge, how far will any of them go for the truth?

Intro post HERE

Genre - Fantasy

Status - First draft/having a crisis over the plot

Specific WIP tag - #wip tros

That's all for now, thanks for bothering to read this far :)

#eli doesnt write sometimes #intro #writblr intro #writing community #new pinned post lets go

[polyamorouspunk]

ur right and i hope u don't get any hate for it. besides some trans people still like harry potter while not supporting it which is a whole other thing. like sometimes u feel emotionally connected to something that was important to u as a kid while still knowing the person who made it is bad. its so much more complicated than "only bad people like this movie and if u like it u become a bad person right away"

Yeah I mean I just made a post on that. I mean like there’s so much nuance I don’t want to get into but like yeah in your daily life you’re going to run into someone who is like “oh well my family was sitting down for movie night and was watching Harry Potter on our DVDs from 2010 and therefore not actively Duncan Italy supporting JKR and in that moment I decided it was better to sit down and watch a movie I enjoyed as a kid with my family than to make it a political debate” and like. How exactly are you going to treat that person IRL. Are you going to snub them? Are you going to post about them later and be like “I can’t believe a trans person didn’t want to start a fight with their family so they watched a Harry Potter DVD from 10+ years ago”. You’re going to meet trans people who are like “My mom dragged me to Hobby Lobby because she needed something and bought something and I didn’t tell her that she’s supporting gay people’s deaths because I’m 15 and I can’t afford to start a fight with a parent who controls my entire life including my finances and where I live and could possibly kick me out” and are you going to tell them they should have said something and risked their livelihood for the greater good of all gay people? You’re going to meet trans people who are like “my family unanimously decided that we’re stopping at Chick-Fil-A and this was the only chance I was going to have to eat dinner so I had to eat some” are you going to tell them they should have starved themselves? Like I understand these are really drastic things but also I’ve been in all of these scenarios so like it’s REALLY not that uncommon. Like there is nuance. Like listen. My cousin works at Chick-Fil-A. She’s developmentally disabled. She worked at Lowe’s for a time but quit because they were bullying her. She loves working at Chick-Fil-A because her coworkers are kind to her despite her disabilities. Are you really going to tell me I shouldn’t love and support her because she works at a corporation that sends money to conversion therapy camps. My own developmentally delayed cousin. I have a friend who literally told me she doesn’t think people should be gay because it’s against the Bible. But she loves and supports me anyway. I’m a work place where actual gay people working there make snide comments to me, make ableist remarks to me, and treat me like dog shit, she watches and says “I’m really sorry that people are treating you like this. I see it happened to you.” And she goes and reports it and supports me when I vent about it. Nuance. There are going to be good people out there who like Harry Potter and bad people out there who reject it and whether or not someone likes Harry Potter shouldn’t be the basis of whether or not they are a good or a bad person. Of course, you are FULLY within your right on tumblr.com to unfollow someone because they like Harry Potter and you think that’s bad. And you are well within your right to go to that person and say “I think you’re a bad person for liking Harry Potter”. And quite honestly I DO think that if you are choosing to financially support JKR in any way you ARE part of the problem even as a fellow trans person. But when it comes to something as small as a trans person who goes out of their way to be an activist on and offline simply answering what their hogwarts house is and you feel like that’s directly harming the trans community because you DARED to acknowledge it exists. Like idk yeah get offline maybe.

[muyokobandicoot2]

So, people don't know what my sub-header is about so umm... Hi? I'm HoneyNutFemios and I left here initially in 2018 due to the anti-NSFW-art policy that they had.

I am hoping to be more active here over time despite the lack of NSFW content; Twitter is just becoming a giant 'Fuck you' to its users. I am growing tired of following the news on there and seeing the anti-trans nightmare that is going on in America. I am tired of Elon Musk agreeing with it because he is a South African apartheid douchebag living off Daddy's emerald mine money and he has no empathy for anyone that isn't him. I followed for NSFW content but at what cost?

I moved to a different state since I last wrote a post and I also started working more in the RPGMaker community. I have developed an itch.io page where you all can play my games:

I am a fan of HawkZombie so you may have seen a couple of the games I produced through his streams. I am a bit of a weirdo on them in chat though.

I also was active in many other fandoms in the stratosphere including Fire Emblem Three Houses. You can ask about who I love best (spoilers, it's the handsome and talented Lorenz Hellman Gloucester! A ha ha!) Or who I like the least (Eww. It's Felix.)

Twisted Wonderland, HuniePop and many others is something I like diving into as well. I recently wrote self insertion fan fiction in the HuniePop fan community, where I met a wide array of people that found out how much I love having fun. I had a fallout with a couple of them but the people that are still my friends in that community seem to love my art so I might continue posting art in the meantime.

I still love Pokemon. I want to find SeamountShipping content on here again as I love Team Magma Admin Tabitha and Team Aqua Admin Matt still. However, I also played Pokemon Legends Arceus and Pokemon Violet and share a love with the Great Melli, specifically the Great Melli bottoming for either Adaman or the female Player. Either way, I might be the one with the unpopular opinion on not caring for Ingo/Emmett in the shipping shenanigans with Melli not because I don't like Ingo/Emmett but because I never got to meet them in my Pokemon Black/White and Black2/White2 playthrough and I feel like I am not in on the reference like everyone else that ship Melli with Info/Emmett do.

Anyway, here's a commission I drew for a friend on Discord of a character in my upcoming RPGMaker visual novel series I am working with a friend. It's a sequel to one of my projects on Itch and it's already looking better than my last project in this intense of a collaboration.

#rpg maker #introducing myself #HoneyNutFemios #fandom list #oh my god #the tagging system is just like on weasyl

[nothorses]

Are there actually more than a handful of transfems who support a more intersectional and nuanced take on the trans community and inclusion of a term for transmascs to describe their experiences? Because I feel like I'm not running into very many and it's depressing.

There are! tbh even though most folks who aren't, like, actively talking about it on the internet, I can pretty confidently say that all the transfemmes I know or have met in real life (minus, like, a singular deeply online 19 year old I met briefly three years ago) are supportive of transmascs and the words we use to talk about our experiences. (I mean, hell, my friends regularly joke with me about some of the stuff that goes on here. They know I love them.)

It's not about taking anything away from transfemmes. It's not about pinning the actions of a few on the whole community, it's not about blaming them for the environment that has been created by pressures from cissexism, and it's not about erasing or speaking over their experiences- including negative experiences with transmascs.

It's about us, and a word to talk about our unique experiences, and building solidarity within the trans community. Most transfems I have met, online and off, are pretty grounded and compassionate people. I would go so far as to say that the majority of the transfem community is pretty grounded and compassionate.

So even if they don't understand all this stuff, I think people are usually pretty willing to listen, learn, and take it seriously.

I'm sorry you haven't had that experience. I hope you're able to meet more good folks! And it might be worth reaching out to transfems who aren't online to form those connections; I know there are some rough spaces offline too, but I find people who are less full of twitter trans community brainrot are generally a lot easier to talk to.

#if you want recs lemme know but I think I have posted a list recently #maybe try searching my blog a bit

[bbygirldahyun]

with something like this, there never feels like a right time, and i don’t know if i’ll ever feel well and truly prepared to talk about these things, but i’ll give it a shot. here is my experience with reza and the entire situation.

i say none of this with malice, and i would hope nobody else does either. nobody but those who were directly involved can understand, talking about this is hard, but it’s weighing me down not to. so please, don’t send anyone hate or interact with her at all. i just want to express what happened and move on.

i became friends with reza awhile ago, probably over a year ago at least if my memory serves me correctly. unlike many others in this situation, we were very close. we spoke nearly everyday. we have spoken on the phone, she has met my girlfriend over the phone, we shared a lot of personal things. we even talked about meeting in person at one point. so trust me when i say, this has brought me an intense amount of sorrow, loss, and guilt.

i know people throw around words like gaslighting and manipulative a lot, but i truly mean it when i say she manipulated many of us. she made me feel absolutely insane sometimes, like i couldn’t trust my own memories, perspectives, and experiences. what i said i thought happened never mattered. experiences i had with someone were never considered unless they aligned with her predetermined narrative. she would convince me i said or did things i didn’t, or at least didnt remember saying. she told people i was angry at her about something when i had no recollection of it. i’m not an angry person, i couldn’t imagine being truly angry and harsh with her ever.

it seemed every few weeks or months, she picked a new person to dislike and she wanted everyone else to dislike them too. she used to tell me frequently how nobody ever believed her about anything, so at first when she would tell me about not liking someone for some reason i always tried to validate her and believe what she said. i wanted her to know i was a good friend, i wanted to be a good friend. but the more it went on, the more i started to question things. people i didn’t know very well i easily believed what she said, because i’m very trusting. i had no reason not to trust her, really. but then it became people who were my friends that were the targets of her distaste.

if i ever had a small problem with someone, she blew it way out of proportion. of course all friends have issues, everyone has issues. so i would confide in her when other people i was friends with had upset me somehow, and she always responded with incredibly petty insults about the person whether it be their writing, their art, or about them as a person. it was very odd. but i learned very quickly i couldn’t ever defend any of my other friends, because that angered her severely. she has talked poorly about just about every single person on this website in this community, including her own friends. i know sometimes you just need a place to vent, i understand that, i’ve done that myself. but she was often rude, petty, and insulting about these people. it wasn’t just venting, it was true distaste and malice.

if she wasn’t responding with petty insults, she would become very intense about the situation. she would almost always instruct me to not trust that person anymore, or to cut them off, or even sometimes go as far as to “handle” the situation herself. another writer mentioned in their post that they were kicked from a groupchat because of her, and i was in that groupchat, and she did it simply because a joke that was made had upset me slightly. she took things from 0 to 100 in seconds, before i could even protest. sometimes when she did things like that, i felt perhaps that’s what friends did? i didn’t have many friends growing up, so i guess i didn’t really know. but it often felt as if she treated me like someone who couldn’t fight my own battles when really, i’m just not a fighter by choice. i’d rather talk things out, especially with someone who was a friend of mine who i cherish deeply.

i confided in her that i was very trusting and thought everyone had good intentions due to being autistic and taking what people say at face value. i told her that’s how i ended up in my abusive relationship, because i was too trusting. she told me she hated that anyone had done that to me, and then went and did it herself. she took advantage of the fact i can’t tell easily when i’m being manipulated. she attempted to plant seeds of distrust within me towards every single other friend i had, even my girlfriend. i spoke to her once about an issue my girlfriend and i had had a long time ago, and she immediately said in essence she didn’t think my girlfriend was good for me. this was one issue within a nearly 5 year relationship. it felt insanely isolating, to be told at every turn that anyone in my life was bad for me, except for her.

it’s also worthy of pointing that all of these people who she would talk so poorly about to me and to just about anyone who would listen, she is more than willing to turn around and kiss their feet when she lost all her friends. duckie was a particular target of hers in terms of her attempts to get me to cut my friendship off with. some of the things she said to me, i don’t even want to repeat, though of course i have told duckie about it. she has said nasty things about her, about me, about our entire friendship. and yet, the second she didn’t have her friends on here anymore, she was tagging duckie in a praising post, surely in the hopes somebody might take her side i can only assume. that really boiled my blood — all of those nasty words, only to turn around and do that. and duckie isn’t even the only one, she’s just the one i’m closest to who reza did that with.

she has accused so many of us of being clout obsessed or chasing clout. i am no professional, nor can i make claims with 100% certainty, but i would go out on a limb and say i’m fairly positive those accusations are heavy projection. many of her accusations are, to be frank. she has always been seeking “clout”, attention really, ever since the beginning. she used to tell me her biggest dream was to end up on one of those writer reccomendation lists and so it doesn’t surprise me at all that her supposed final straw with lu was being excluded from one, even accidentally. but of course, she’s certainly accused all of us time and time again that we’re obsessed with clout, that we’re all only friends with each other for clout. and it’s sad to me, that that’s how she sees friendship, a means for exchange. but it’s clear that’s how she treats friendships.

she also accused someone of copying art. now whether they did or not, i have absolutely no clue. but when she showed me the supposedly copied art, i told her i wasn’t an artist and i’m also pretty face blind so i wasn’t sure if i was the best judge of whether it was copied or not. she got very angry at me for not believing her, and i tried to reassure her i trusted her perspectives i just couldn’t make the call myself. this became a repetitive situation between us — her making an accusation, me trying to dispute or to even just deflect and move on in conversation, and she’d get mad at me or just straight up stop replying. it was exhausting.

the rumors she has spread about me and others on here are horrible. some of the things she’s said about me have me absolutely floored. there’s things i’d love to address, but i don’t want to throw the person who told me what she said under the bus. but what i will say, is she basically acts as if i’m incompetent without her. i hate to throw around accusing words, but in retrospect many of the things she did and said to me and things she’s said and done since ending our friendship feel incredibly ableist and infantalizing.

now onto what really brought all of this to head. i’m sure all of you have seen the posts referring her calling a trans poc a nazi, but that’s not my story to tell really. my story is what happened after. she dmed me in the midst of that situation to complain to me about the person she accused of being a nazi, and i essentially told her not to bring me in the middle of it. at the time they were both my friends, and i thought she was acting incredibly out of pocket. of course, she grew upset, but insisted she wasn’t trying to bring me into it. i told her i didn’t think her accusation was fair, she told me that this person blocking her was “proof” that they were a nazi supporter, and i basically told her that was quite a leap. we didn’t talk for awhile after that, until she reached out again saying she didn’t want to lose me as a friend and this very long, nice message. i told her i valued her friendship a lot and as her friend, i felt it was my duty to tell her she fucked up and that she should apologized. she admitted to me she knew she was wrong. she admitted it. but she said something like it was too late to do anything about it. one of our last dm exchanges was her saying i was the one person she didn’t want to lose. then she blocked everyone.

so when she tells people i blocked her, or i ended the friendship, or whatever, that’s not true. i didn’t block her until she blocked me. i was never mean to her, not even at the very bitter end. if she thinks i was a bad friend, by all means she can think that, but i tried my best day in and day out to be a good friend. i wanted to make things work so badly, i truly loved reza as a best friend, we had so many good memories together. it broke my heart to watch her behave that way and go on to behave how she’s behaved since. i thought she was better than all of that.

she’s thrown out all sorts of wild accusations towards nearly everyone on here, including claiming we’re all lesbophobic for not supporting her gofundme. this is where her hypocrisy becomes evident. her close friend who has since deactivated had made a post basically claiming that posting “a few words” isnt activism right in the middle of when many of us on here were sharing donation links of black people in need in the aftermath of the chauvin verdict, which reza reblogged. both reza and her friend shared their own gofundmes mere days after that post. i thought that was absolutely despicable. not to mention the amount of times she’s accused lu of being transphobic and a bad ally, or reblogged posts of her cis friend claiming lu is a bad ally, which just isn’t true in the slightest. lu is an upstanding individual, and truly the pinnacle of allyship in my mind. she doesn’t just reblog a post to look good, she’s truly an amazing and supportive friend. couldn’t ask for better than that.

reza is hypocritical in so many other, smaller ways. she attacked someone for simply watching a critical review of attack on titan but continues to stan groups and people who have problematic or questionable pasts or elements to them. of course, media has problematic elements and we can engage with that critically, but the problem is she seems to think only she can do that and other people are free game to jump on and make wild accusations about. she claimed softblocking people was dumb, only to softblock me herself days later. the expectations she places on others she feels no obligation to uphold herself.

she has made attempts to entice new writers into this community by promoting them, praising their work, and claiming they can be the biggest writer etc all the while on her twitter tweeting things to the effect of all the writing on hc tumblr is boring now, or twice fic isn’t as good anymore, dreamcatcher fics are better etc etc. it’s disgusting. she brought innocent people fresh to the community into this nonsense and the second they didn’t validate her entire pov she deleted everything relating to them on her blog, all her promotions, and tweeted she’ll never help a new writer again. it was horrible to watch how many people became involved in this messy web and got hurt because of it.

i want to end all of this by apologizing from the bottom of my heart to anybody who i was swayed into a wrong opinion of by reza, to anyone who i spoke on without realizing i was being clouded by her manipulation, and to all of my friends who she spoke so poorly about. i did everything i thought i could to defend the people i cared about, but as many others can attest to she’s incredibly hard to argue against. it’s painful, and sometimes i hit a point of exhaustion. i am so sorry. i am truly, truly sorry to anyone who has been hurt by this situation, by reza or any of her friends or anybody. it was terrible being stuck in that cycle of awfulness, and i feel so much guilt thinking that i could’ve ever contributed to her poor actions and words about others. i trusted her with so many private things and i regret it more than anything.

that’s the hardest part of this, that i trusted her with so much. i trusted her with many things i would hardly share with anyone else. i told her embarrassing stories, shared much of my traumas to her, told her about my sister and my family and my girlfriend and all of these personal things. she told me so many things in return, but i know who i am. i know i would never share any of those things, none of the embarrassing stuff or the private stuff, nor would i laugh at it even to myself. but i know who she is, and that makes me feel like someone who i can’t trust holds so many things i shared in comfort, a comfort i no longer have. it’s difficult to grapple with.

and reza, if you’re reading this and i’m pretty positive you will be — i hope you find peace within yourself so you don’t have to treat people this way. perhaps i’m too optimistic, too kind and too trusting and too easily tricked, but i would rather be that than live the way you have, paranoid and bitter inside towards everyone. i hope you find a way beyond that, and i mean that genuinely.

#me

[raddesmoines]

super cool! i’m not in des moines, i’m in the QC, but it’s really neat to see radfems (somewhat) near my area. can you elaborate more on what you intend to do with this group?

Absolutely ! Here are my goals as of now:

Information spreading: Right now I'm working on building the Rad Des Moines website with very entry-level, easily digestible information about feminism for a wide audience (ie, people who don't know much about feminism in general or people who have been misinformed about "terfs"). I've been putting up some stickers around town with cute little slogans and links to the site with the idea being to expose women to these ideas in a gentle and accessible way. Once I get more women involved, I want to get into making zines/fliers/etc. I'm also interested in expanding the website to include poetry, art, and writings from women other than me. I'm focusing on a positive, pro-female message about radical feminism rather than an anti-trans one.

In-person community: There is no substitute for gathering with women in real life. Online spaces are great but I wouldn't consider them to be communities. The goal is to plan meet-ups in public places like coffee shops or libraries and maybe eventually (once we get to know each other) hosting potlucks or things like that at women's houses. These types of meet-ups can be whatever we decide and would of course be open to any women who are willing to travel close to DSM (or perhaps Ankeny or Ames?). I'm imagining we could chat about feminism and stuff, but also just hang out, play games, do crafts, get to know each other, enjoy the company of other women. We could also go to protests together, volunteer, and do actual material activism. I'm hoping to organize these through our mailing list, so please sign up for that to stay in the loop!

I'd also like to make clear that I'm "out" as a lesbian feminist in real life, so "doxxing" is not a concern for me, but I'm trying to make this as safe as possible for women who can't be fully open about their beliefs. Your identity will not be shared and I'm generally trying to avoid any messaging that could get women in trouble (or immediately turn women off) for being "terfy." My goal is for this to be a space for women who are curious about radical/lesbian feminism to be able to explore these ideas without judgement and I don't expect every woman who is interested in this group to agree with me on every feminist topic.

Thanks for the question and let me know if you'd like me to elaborate further!

#asks #radfem

[metanoiyed-archive]

CURRENT EVENTS - updated 9/23/2021

Ecology/Environmental Activism/Environmental Racism

Oil Project Threatens Russia's Arctic Indigenous Communities

Climate change is affecting mothers and unborn children in the Brazilian rainforest.

We Need to Indigenize Land Conservation.

Ecological Degradation of the Dust-Bowl and other countries: They Knew, by fatehbaz.

Environmentalism, Racism, and Veganism by fandomsandfeminism with contribution from apathetic-at-my-best.

White-Washed Hope: Infographic on Climate Change and Environmentalism.

Decolonizing ecology.

Post by 01030104 about ecofascism.

Dam Removal Win in Washington posted by pacificnorthwestcore.

Returning Native Land is Protecting Nature

StopLine3.org / riceislifecarrd / stopline3: link tree

Indigenous Resistance Has Cut US & Canada's Annual Emissisions

Mushroom Beehives Could Save Honeybees.

Sign this petition to protect Pololu Valley in Hawai'i.

Graphene sucks out Uranium From Contaminated Water

“Blackness & The Bomb”: Nuclear Power and Environmental Racism

Wasp PSA by Symbolone

WATER HUNTERS: Water Conservation video by IBRIDO

Private Space Travel is Irredeemable by lesbianboboberens.

Giving Mountains Their Names Back

Amid Climate Related Concerns of Displacement, Tribes say the US is Ignoring Climate Threats

No Warming, No War: Climate Militarism PDF

Lake Uru Uru is More Plastic Than Water by solarpunkfairy

Mountain Valley Pipeline Defenders / Fight Continues Against Mountain Valley Pipeline (2019) / MVP would Desecrate Native American Grounds (2019)• Fight Brewing Over Damage to Aquifer by Mountain Valley Pipeline (2021) / Protestors Arrested After Rally Against MVP (2021) / Send a Letter to the Virginia Attorney General • MVP sues landowners to gain access for pipeline (2017)

Environmental Racism & Nuclear Testing by bihet-dragonize with additions from baepsaebot, nonbinarymerbabe & betweenparallels

Phytoremediation by lunefrog, contribution by pastrypuppy about gardening and how to use native plants.

Indigenous Sovereignty / Abolition / Settler Colonialism / Land Back

Japan’s Indigenous Ainu community don’t want a theme park – they want their rights.

“The Anglo American mining company destroys forests, rivers and indigenous peoples. We are inside [our territory] and will continue to be. Anglo American—Get Out! Demarcation Now! The people will go on resisting", say Munduruku leaders including [twitter @Alkorap1] in a meeting they held.

Resources put together by head-smashed-in-buffalo-thighs and effectiveresistance on settler colonialism and land back.

Connection between TERFs/radfems and colonialism, by wetpinkorthodoxy and contribution by clatterbane.

Atheism and Settler-Colonial Denial (Don’t Be An Asshole, Basically) by neechees with contributions from konowiw and azu303.

From allthecanadianpolitics: “When Victorians used to dig up Indigenous bones for fun.” With an unnerving addition by normal-horoscopes.

From neeches, cottagecore discourse; how it fetishizes the idea of Native land.

Imperialism Resources put together by lgbtmazight.

Quote by Corrina Gould from hexenmeisterer.

Support the Sovereign Likhts’amisyu and their own land back movement! Donate to their GFM.

Donate and help protect & support the waters and lands of the Sápmi. There is an ongoing struggle right now with the government over their land.

Donate and share this land back movement, Camp Mni Luzahan.

Donate to Survival International, an organization dedicated to educating about tribal peoples and their right to their lands. They have a general action-list link you can check out here, too.

Obligatory COVID Reading:

Kids are not only able to be spreaders, but are often symptomless.

Children more likely to spread COVID-19.

Other Resources & Neat Things

How to use Shinigami Eyes by technogenic-mess

Sci-Hub and Other Resources by elinaline

How to download music by aesthonaut

LGBTQ+ On a more happy note, have some trans musicians who are redefining pop music.

Donate to help provide to & save the Gully Queens of Jamaica, a group made for and by Black Trans Women in Jamaica.

Donate to this organization, the Transgender Gender-Variant & Intersex Justice Project (TGIJP) who work to protect and support trans and intersex people who are going through and out of the legal system (especially POC.)

Donate to this organization the Trans Women of Color Collective!

Donate to the Trans Housing Coalition!

People to follow:

[*keep in mind these are my personal recommendations and individuals are not spokespeople, they are people. be respectful. also i ran out of link space so some of them dont have links but are found on social media.]

Giniw Collective Instagram/Twitter

HonortheEarth Instagram/Twitter

Resist Line 3 Instagram/Twitter

Niitsítapi Water Protectors Instagram/Twitter

Lakota Law Project

mmiwhoismissing Instagram • Link Tree

yintah_access Instagram • Link Tree

wetsuweten_checkpoint Instagram • Link Tree

melaninmvskoke Instagram • Twitter • Link Tree

campmigizi Instagram

IndigenousRising Instagram • Link Tree

Fairycreek Blockade Instagram

Rainforest Flying Squad Instagram • Link Tree

nowhitesaviors Instagram • Link Tree

seedingsovereignty Instagram • Twitter • Link Tree

Choctaw Freedmen Twitter • Link Tree

Intersapphic Tumblr

olowan-waphiya Tumblr

uzizitkah Tumblr

ar-menias Tumblr

mishiikenhkwe Tumblr • Twitter

NativeNews Tumblr

akajustmerry Tumblr

conjuringsigns Twitter

Artists/Shops/Authors

Directory of Native beadwork/art shops put together by uzizitkah/mathosapa beads (here)

Mishiikenhkwe (artist/shop)

JohnnieJae (artist/shop)

niibidoon (artist/shop)

Shop Palestine

The Spirit Trail (music)

mathosapabeads (artist/shop)

The Heritage Center (gift shop)

Akwaeke Emezi

Mount Pleasant Library Friends

Jamie Nole (Artist/Shop)

#that seems good #environmentalism #imperialism #anti-imperialism #colonialism #farmers protest #ecology #decolonizing ecology #decolonization #long post #so i finally made that post of resources i wanted to make

[agiar2000]

Resistance to Violence

I just saw this video, and I found it very intriguing and impactful, intellectually. It actually did get me thinking differently about the main issue therein. https://youtu.be/YJSehRlU34w

When this video was published, I was probably already quite convinced of the virtue of non-violent resistance.

In recent years, however, I have seen more and more of how non-violent protesters have not only been subjected to oppressive violence in retaliation, but have also been publicly blamed for the violence being done to and around them, so that the corrupt media has successfully managed to redirect the sympathy that ought to be conferred on those who are bravely and peacefully standing in the face of violence and oppression, and twist it into even more support for the oppressive system. I have seen how violent regimes are perfectly willing to brutalize peaceful people just to assert and demonstrate their dominance, and then I see them getting praise from large swaths of the population who support that oppression.

On the other hand, I have also been thinking more about situations where violence was the catalyst to finally make progress for equality and justice. The Confederate States of America, the Nazis of Germany, and the various unconscionable horrors they wrought were not stopped by people protesting peacefully, by seeking common ground, by seeking to understand them better and make them comfortable. They were stopped by a sufficient opposing army slaughtering them until they ceased to be willing and able to pose a continuing threat to humanity.

It's also helpful, I think to contrast the end of the Confederacy with the end of the Nazis. Starting with the Confederacy: While slavery and white supremacy were certainly overtly stated goals of the Confederacy's rebellion, the Union was (and still is) hardly an anti-racist country, and it has been noted that their goal in fighting the Confederacy was more about retaining the Union than about ending slavery. In the end, when the Confederacy surrendered, there was an attempt by the victors to ease the feelings of the erstwhile rebels, to allow them to retain a great deal of "Southern pride". For that, we get the Daughters of the Confederacy whitewashing and rewriting history, the Ku Klux Klan continuing to wage terror across the country, and many of the various monuments and other dedications to honor Confederate leaders. The meaning of these symbols is clearly white supremacy, and not merely "Southern pride", as evidenced by how they're used. Many of these monuments were erected in the former Confederacy as part of the backlash against the civil rights movement in the 20th century, and some people even outside of America proudly wave the Confederacy's navy jack flag. Why would non-Americans wave that flag? Because they want to wave a flag for white supremacy, and they can't legally wave the flag of the Nazis.

The Nazis, by contrast, were obliterated. They were not allowed to retain "Nazi pride" after the fall of their heinous regime. The symbols of their monstrosity were banned. A standard of basic human decency was granted greater priority than the "freedom" of terrible people to do horrible things. Nazism was destroyed, not simply because it opposed other powers that wanted to control them, but because they were evil, and they needed to be stopped for the good of the world. The result is that now, less than 8 decades after the fall of the Nazis, Germany is a far more decent, pro-social democracy than the former Confederate states, which continue to stand for right-wing oppression, even over 15 decades after the surrender of the Confederacy.

Another example, though less of a dramatic one, is that of the Stonewall riot. The LGBTQ community did not start gaining rights and freedom from a horrifically oppressive regime because they were kind, nice, and peaceful, gently appealing to the better angels of their murderers and oppressors, making the effort to try to understand them and to meet them in the middle. What kicked off their victories at this time was Black trans women of color throwing bricks at police.

Considering all that, I found Chenoweth's presentation difficult to reconcile. When the oppressive regime has control over the media, when they make every peaceful protester look like a violent, dangerous terrorist, and they convince large portions of the population to be willing to fight for fascism, convincing them that it is actually "freedom", and that efforts for justice are actually an attack on their very identity, how can one possibly proceed? When those in power do murder peaceful protesters, do you keep showing up to protest peacefully? If you see someone going around shooting people left and right, do you stand there and demand verbally that the shooter stop?

So, what to do? We live in a violent society that has normalized routine violence against the poor, minorities, people of color, and all of the most marginalized and vulnerable in society. We only need 3.5% of the population to actively resist? Already 5.8% of the American population is in deep poverty, with 9.2% in poverty, generally. Globally, these numbers are even more horrifying, with 9.2% in deep poverty and nearly 17% in a state of being "multidimensionally poor", and nearly half living on less than the equivalent of US$5.50 per day. Couldn't we count on those people, at the very least, to oppose their own oppression? No, we cannot, partly because part of being so oppressed is being kept so weak and powerless that you don't have the energy to resist and being provided just enough that you're terrified to lose what little you have by daring to stand up, but also because so many of them have been brainwashed and corrupted into voting against their own interests and being willing to fight against the people who are trying to help them, and blame the even more marginalized among them or phantoms of foreign powers for all of their problems. Maybe if they knew what was really going on, we would have won long before now.

Now, regarding the topic of the video, the success of non-violent resistance, I very much appreciate that Chenoweth's presentation relied on statistical data from studies of hundreds of events rather than the mere anecdotes that were foremost in my mind when I started watching, and I also appreciate that she started by talking about the mindset from which she started, which closely resembled my own, including good examples of violent revolutions that ended corrupt regimes. I don't know exactly how the data she used to reach her conclusion were gathered and classified, and I retain some skepticism, but I would very much like to believe that her data are, in fact, representative, accurate, and actionable. I would very much like to believe that we can, in fact, win freedom and justice through peaceful means, though I have a hard time really being confident in it. I want to believe that she's right because otherwise, I see very little hope at all. We are very close to a point at which total environmental collapse is inevitable, with the majority of global power still putting the pedal to the metal to drive us off that cliff as fast as possible. The most aggressive policy proposals to save the planet involve easing up on the gas slightly, far too little far too late, and even those are being defeated by the regressive death cult of neoliberals, conservatives, and fascists. At this point, it is hard to see how any future can exist that does not involve tremendous destruction. Either the forces of evil win outright and destroy everything, or the forces that oppose them are forced to wreak so much destruction in order to stop them that they might as well have lost anyway. It's hard to imagine sometimes that we have not already completely lost, that the world is not already completely doomed, and all that is left is to watch as the monsters responsible for it just keep making things worse until the very end.

I guess the answer is just to have faith and to do whatever we can to give humanity the best possible chance, and that means two main strategic goals: 1. Motivate and influence enough people to reach that 3.5% threshold to actually resist for the change that we all need. 2. Determine an actual action plan for those people to carry out that will have the desired effect with a minimum of collateral damage and harmful side effects.

Sadly, I have no idea how to do either of those things, and anything I can think of still feels either depressingly small and insufficient or worrying for its potential to cause unintended harm.

[nonbinaryresource]

A friend is parent to a 12 year old child who has informed them that they are NB. I've had conversations with this friend previously about TG - they had read about gender being a social construct, and this had led them to struggle to understand why gender ID actually matters to people. I've copied down some of the links you have already posted, to help explain NB, but wondered whether you could suggest anything specifically on this aspect? Also, are you aware of any online groups for parents?

Basically everything is a social construct because that is how we make sense of and understand the world. How we sort human biology is a social construct. Vegetables are a social construct. Language is a social construct. Moral systems are a social construct. Government is a social construct. Money is a social construct. The scientific method is a social construct.

Calling something a social construct doesn’t mean “unimportant” or “fake”. It means “not inherently defined by nature and therefore flexible and open to interpretation, change, and growth in our understanding”. It means “created and/or defined by a society, in which it would otherwise not be a concept”. Of course, fruits and vegetables would exist regardless of if humans defined and sorted food into fruits or vegetables, but the idea of these foods having clearly defined separations easily sorted into two simple categories would not exist without humans having created, defined, and taught this system of categorization.

Your friend also appears to be falling into the trap of “it doesn’t really matter to me, so how can it matter to anyone?” Maybe your friend’s kid loves or loved roblox, minecraft, power ranger, my little pony, shera, pokemon - or anything like that. It’s doubtful your friend loved all those things or was even interested in all of those things. But that doesn’t erase that those things could be important to your friend’s kid, and that is to be respected because different things are important to different people for different reasons. Did your friend’s kid need to prove why they loved the thing they loved? I hope not! Your friend likely respected that passion - and even encouraged it and/or pretended to be interested in it simply because it did matter to their kid.

None of this is a judgement on your friend, by the by! These are... weird and difficult concepts to understand - much like gender itself!

As for parenting groups, groups like PFLAG are not parent-specific, but still a great resource for people dipping into the queer community and becoming an active ally. They also often hold regular meetings (now remote for now) where people can talk about their experiences, ask questions, get support, and just listen to others. Online, there’s Cis Parents of Trans Kids on reddit. Gender Spectrum is a site dedicated to questioning and trans/nonbinary and ally support, and the page I linked has a lot of resources as well as forums/groups - both for kids and for parents. TransParent is more of a resource than a group but is to help parents of questioning and trans/nonbinary kids. There’s also TransPulse which is a forum to support questioning and trans/nonbinary folk which includes a section for supportive parents. Finally, it looks like there’s actually a fair amount of groups available for parents of trans/nonbinary kids on facebook, too.

Followers, any other parental groups you know if that you want to suggest?

~Pluto

#mod pluto #parenting #parenthood #ally #allies #allyhood #resource #community #groups #support groups #mod tera #anonymous #ask #answered #asked #nonbinary #social construct

[vampireqrow-moved]

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

#if u have follow up questions ill probably answer them 2morrow #if u ask something just be nice its my birthday 🙄🙄 #anyways time to tag this lol ! #pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #q slur #long post #my post #ask to tag maybe??

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Jungwoo, Mark & Haechan’s interview with Star1 June 2020 issue!

It's the first time for you three to do a shoot together. It's a different combination. Mark: It's really nice that the warm weather is seen in the pictures and it was fun to shoot with this fresh combination. Jungwoo: I really like it because it seems like the chemistry between us was well shown. Haechan: It's been a very long time since I had a shoot so I was a little nervous but on the other hand, also excited. I think I had a lot of fun because I was together with the hyungs.

You finished all the promotions for the 2nd full album <NCT#127 NeoZone>, how was it? Jungwoo: We were able to show NCT 127's color clearly through the title song 'Kick It'. All the side tracks had a very diverse feel too, and the promotion period was very meaningful because, matching with the 'NCT 127' name, it seemed to represent a new NCT 127 well in the aspects of music, choreography, stage composition, and so on. Mark: It was a comeback after a long time with a full album, so as much as the fans waited for it, we worked hard in the preparations to show many good sides. Of course, it was a shame we couldn't meet the fans on the music shows. Haechan: So, during the repackage promotion period, we will try various ways to communicate with the fans.

You also achieved some great things during these promotions, in particular, ranking no.5 on the Billboard 200 Mark: The last album ranked at no.11, and to see that it gradually improved to rank no.5, I was even more proud and happy. It gave me a great sense of achievement. I was as grateful and as happy as much as it was the result of the feeling loved and receiving attention from around the world.

Soon, you will be making a comeback with the repackage album < NeoZone: The Final Round>, what kind of song is the title song 'Punch'? Haechan: It's a very hip and strong song. Also, it has an ambiance of feeling like a different song due to some elements that are in the middle, so it's a fun song to listen to. Jungwoo: As much as it is a title song, I put my all in it. There were many changes made during the preparations, including the recording process. We worked hard to make it complete. Mark: As much as 'Kick It' was well received by the fans, I think 'Punch' will be as well and will deliver the finishing blow.

In addition to 'Punch', there are also other new side songs, how is it different compared to the 2nd full album [NeoZone]? Haechan: First off,  for the new songs on the repackage album, there is a new charming ballad song 'Make Your Day' and there is a song with a different feeling called 'NonStop'. You will be able to feel the diversity. Mark: That's right. 'Make Your Day' is a song where you will receive healing through the sweet voices of the vocal members. Jungwoo: It's a great song to listen to in the summer.

Then what is the key point of 'Punch'? Haechan: I think the chorus is the most memorable. It's repeated a lot, so I think it's nice when you listen to it excitingly. Jungwoo: I think 'Punch' [is the song with] the most killing parts. There are many parts that stick right to your ears. Please enjoy the killing part. Mark: Your ears might get hurt since it's addicting. haha

Is there something you want to show to the public through this album? Haechan: That I am really grateful for the support we received during 'Kick It' and that I was really happy. During the upcoming promotions too, I want to take that energy and show NCT 127's performance that will K.O. everyone. Of course, there are burdens when you receive great support, but regardless of the results, we are doing the best we can as always, so if you keep supporting us, we will show you our K.O. performance.

Was there ever a life changing "punch", if so when? Mark: As I was preparing for this song, I was reminded of the trainee days a lot. I was a trainee for almost three years, and I'm normally the type of person to beat myself down. I think that's when I threw [myself] the most “punches”. In order not to lose myself in front of the mirror I pushed myself and tried to overcome and grow. So while preparing for this song, I really related to it a lot. Jungwoo: I think it was during my debut for me. I was introduced for the first time during 'Boss'. I wanted to have an impact on many people so I really worked hard. When I think about it now, I didn't have to be so nervous, I was really worried. I am reminded of the time where I wanted to throw an impactful punch as big as I was nervous so I tried to double the effort.

What is a hot topic among NCT 127 lately? Mark: We're almost finished preparing for the repackage album, and all the members are working hard in perfecting the choreography. And we are also preparing for Beyond Live. Other than that, since the members are home a lot, we're getting into cooking more than ever (laughs). These days, Taeil hyung has really fallen for cooking. Once, when I returned home after practice, there was the smell of pasta coming from the dorm and it turns out that Taeil was making pasta by himself. I was even surprised at how delicious it was. haha

The world tour was also completed successfully Mark: It's hard to go overseas these days so I kinda miss it, and I often think about how nice it would be to tour soon again. It was a rare opportunity and a joyful journey. It's not easy to meet fans in person so it was a thing I'm really grateful for. It was also nice to eat a lot of delicious food with the members.

Is there a difference between preparing before the world tour and after? Mark: It's like, you know a lot after you've seen a lot. Aside from the stages, there were many things I felt. While meeting various cultures and people, our own team's unity has improved and our teamwork has gotten better too. There were a lot of physical challenges. Looking back after overcoming those hardships, all of them are beautiful memories. If you ask what's different or what has changed, it's that the teamwork has become better, and I think each member has gradually grown during the tour. Jungwoo: As expected personally, I think I grew a lot myself and it's true that I learned a lot while being on various stages. Instead of performing the same thing on each stage, I tried to change my facial expression and tried to change many things. Although we grew a lot as a team, I gained a lot of self-confidence too. To be honest, I was really nervous before leaving, but as I met a lot of fans from various countries I felt very grateful to be welcomed and supported. Haechan: My mindset has changed. Before I used to do a lot of things for 'the future'. After the world, I tend to focus on 'us'. We are working hard and having fun showing us and our way.  

NCT 127 members are all skilled in various areas. If you could steal a talent from each other, what would it be? Haechan: Jungwoo hyung’s innocence. Haha. When Jungwoo hyung’s ‘Pure Beauty’ shines, that's when I get envious. I think Mark hyung’s biggest asset is consistency. Doing anything consistently is a skill in my opinion, so I’m envious of this side of Mark hyung. Jungwoo: As for me, Mark’s dancing skills or English? Haha. Mark: I already told Jungwoo before, but he has this special aura about him. I’m just very thankful to have him next to me. It’s a precious thing. Haha. Even in a stiff situation he can elevate the mood. It’s not that I want to take it from him, it’s just that I like it when he’s next to me like that.

What are the unexpected sides of the members? Haechan: Mark hyung is consistently good at everything. The only thing he can't do is gaming. He is really bad at gaming. I don't think he has any talent for gaming. Jungwoo: Also, Mark is surprisingly delicate and detailed. There might be some people who already know, but he is more delicate than you can imagine. Haechan: Jungwoo looks innocent and seems quiet, but surprisingly he has many sturdy/bold sides. He is the type of person where those two sides coexist. Although he is still shy in front of the fans, when he feels comfortable, he is more active and energetic. That's his unexpected side.

To me, NCT 127 is? Haechan: It’s the foundation of my growth. When I was with hyungs I could see a lot of aspects where I was lacking, but because hyungs helped me so much I think I was able to grow. Jungwoo: I think we make each other shine. When someone is lacking the others fill in the gaps, when it’s hard we help each other, I think. Mark: I think we became a team that are friends and hyungs for life. I’m very thankful that we became like friends not just in NCT 127, but in everyday life. Jungwoo: Right. Us meeting seems like fate. Mark: We were all born and raised in different places, how else would we meet as a team like this.

As half of 2020 has passed, what are your goals both goals personally and as an artist? Haechan: I want to be busy and work hard in 2020. As an artist I’d like for it to be a year where I improve internally or work on my skills. Jungwoo: As a team I’d like for us to be introduced to more fans and grow a lot through performances. I’m also looking forward to see the results. I also wish this would be the year when I progress and take care of myself a lot. Mark: I want to play music for even more fans and I also want approval. Wherever we go I want to show performances without embarrassment, without seeming lame when I look back later, I always want to work hard. I hope the members become more proud of themselves as they should, and that we promote happily too. 

Translation: Esmee, Alex @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Star1 Scans — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

#NCT #jungwoo #mark #haechan #t:trans #t:interview #Star1 #Star1: June 2020

[theaespaupdate]

[TRANS] 201117 SM Naver Post - [Interview] aespa, If you become fan during ‘Black Mamba’, you are our debut fan!

November 17th at 6PM KST

Introducing to the world, aespa’s first single ‘Black Mamba’ has been released!

[Who is aespa?]

aespa is a name that combines 'æ' which expresses 'Avatar X Experience' and the English word ‘Aspect’ which means two-side.

it’s based on the worldview where you meet your other self, avatar, an experience the new world.

Then, shall we meet the members of aespa?

카리나 (KARINA) Karina is 20 years old this years Not only vocal, but she can rap and dance as well She have a versatile charm! 

 지젤 (GISELLE)   Giselle is 20 years old this year. 지젤은 올해 만 20세로 She has strong rap skill and fluent in Korean, Japanese and English

 윈터 (WINTER)   Winter is 19 yeats old 윈터는 올해 나이 만 19세로 She has vocal and dance skill! Please look forward to her performance.

 닝닝 (NINGNING)   aespa’s maknae Ningning is 18 years old this year she has an excellent singing ability! She’s going to captivate you with her charming voice.

[Black MAMBA]

Black Mamba is powerful dance track with catchy hook that seems to memorize a spell.

The lyrics include the begining of an adventure that unfolds as it learns that ‘Black Mamba’ is the one who interferes the connection betweet aespa and avatar ‘ae’ and threatens the world.

[We invite you to the world of aespa]

Q1. Who is ae-?

aespa has story in which aespa members in the real world and the avatar ‘ae’ in the virtual world communicated through ‘SYNK’

we want to know what kind of exciting journey they’re going to take!

so, from here you have a question right?

Q2, KARINA and ae-KARINA are the same?

The answer is... No, they’re not!

ae is another self in the virtual world based on human data, they think and lives on their own way.

Q3. How did they meet with ‘ae’?

The most precious to each other aespa and ae!

How did they meet? It’s about amazing first meeting. Let’s take a look the conversation in MY, KARINA!

KARINA There are names we addressed each other.  What was it...BF? ae-KARINA MY. That’s how we called each other. KARINA When I first received a SYNK message from ae-KARINA my heart was bearing so fast.

In the real world, KARINA received a SYNK message from ae-KARINA and they started communicating.

and become a bestfriend ‘MY’!

Q4. Who is ‘NAVIS’?

S/he is the mysterious one in the virtual world that acts as a reliable helper or guide to support aespa and ae-aespa in the virtual world.

ae-KARINA : Navis told me about my another me, KARINA. And the first day I found out about SYNK, I was so nervous that I couldn’t fall asleep.

KARINA: Because you were thinking of meeting me? ae-KARINA KARINA and I are connected through SYNK, and if NAVIS never helped... KARINA and I would have never met. NAVIS. I love you~❤️

Navis will show how to SYNI with the existence of aespa. aespa and ae-aespa life has completely different!

Q5. How can we meet Avatar ‘ae’ in the real world?

Through a constant communication with aespa aespa ae with higher SYNK level, can be REKALLed to the real world.

ae-KARINA : Spending time with KARINA is so blissful. I hope this REKALL time never ends. Aaackk the REKALL time is over...! See you again! Bbyong! 

Even though the REKALL time is already set, the memories we have together is so precious♥

The more you know, the more you are curious about aespa! We’re curious about their feeling of releasing first single. That’s why we prepared this!

[ Interview Ⅰ aespa ]

  KARINA

Hello, I’m KARINA of aespa! Sometimes there are lacks part in everyday life but, I’ll show you a lot of strong leadership! Please give aespa a lot of love♥

Q. How do you feel when your debut was confirmed?

I feel a pressure and excited at the same time. And more than anything, the thought of  “I could be on stage with my own song” makes me happy.

Q. Do you have pose that you practiced before the (MV) filming?

I practiced sitting poses a lot. I am not able to squat down. I think I did a lot of research to see if there’s any unique poses to do while sitting and practicing to keep my body from shaking.

Q. First MV filming! Do you have any memorable moments ?

The first shoot was a solo shoot, I was literally frozen at that time. I remembered that I missed my members (crying)

Our song, that usually only played in our practice room, then hearing it play at the filming set and seeing the staff humming to our song, it made me proud and happy.

Q. What are your future plans and dreams?

I want to become an artist who bring happiness to someone. Even it’s only one person who is comfort because of us and hearing “I want to become an artist like aespa”, I think I would be happy. 

GISELLE

Hello, I am Giselle of aespa!

Sometimes I heard that my first impression are arrogant and cold (crying). I am a cute person with a lot of aegyo and bright charms!

Please give me a lot of love.

Q. How do you feel when your debut was confirmed?

It still feels like a dream. At that time, everything did not seem real, I kept focused on the fact that I had to work hard.

Q. Do you have pose that you practiced before the (MV) filming? 

Instead doing nothing, I practiced.

I have a habit touching my hair. If I had to shoot 50 cuts for diverse poses, I practiced touching my hair only 3 times!

But it doesn’t always happen (crying)

Q. First MV filming! Do you have any memorable moments ? 

I still remember the feeling when I took my first solo shot.

Of course, the image shown with the members is the most importan but, I felt nervous and excited that I should show myself well since I’m the only one who takes the individual shot.

Q. What are your future plans and dreams? 

I will work hard and meet you as soon as possible, hold a concert, and meet our fans from various countries❤

WINTER  

Hello! aespa’s winter, I am Winter! I am the mood maker with bright energy in the team! I can’t wait to meet all of you and give you my bright energy❤

Q. How do you feel when your debut was confirmed?

To be honest, I really wanted to debut, and then they told me that I was going to debut. I had thought “are my skill are enough to debut now... I’m in a big trouble...” I think it was an opportunity for me to practice more harder.

Q. Do you have pose that you practiced before the (MV) filming?

Since it’s my first time,  There are some parts that looks awakward, so I tried my best to look as natural as possible.

Q. First MV filming! Do you have any memorable moments ?

Since it’s our music video, I don’t know that it was difficult to made, we got help from many staff members in each scene.

There were a lot of things that weren’t good enough, but I was really thankful that a lot of staff members helped me. I am looking forward for future activities!

Q. What are your future plans and dreams?

I want to meet and communicate with fans all around the world often! And I want to show you a lot of great performance ♥

NINGNING

Hello! I am the maknae of aespa, I am Ningning who loves to sing♥

Q. How do you feel when your debut was confirmed?

I was so proud and excited at the thought that I finally be able to show you my efforts so far! And I wanted to work more harder and show a great performance to many people!

Q. Do you have pose that you practiced before the (MV) filming?

Originally I like to take pictures, so rather than practicing posing, I already prepared it so that I can move my body naturally.

Q. First MV filming! Do you have any memorable moments ?

We filmed on a set with a lot of bumpy floors.

It was little difficult to dance, but the members cheered and encouraged, so it makes my heart warm.

The members who worked hard until the end were so cool!

Q. What are your future plans and dreams?

I want to show the best side of aespa to many people. And also my dream is that I hope everyone likes us and support us a lot.

______

Pit-a-pat aespa’s interview that filled with excitement Did you enjoy reading it?

It was precious time to get SYNK with the members!

Please give a lot of love to aespa and Black Mamba, who will make you happy with their unique stages ♥

source: smtown naver post rough trans by: jiyul @AESPAUPDATE_ May contain inaccuracies

#aespa #ae aespa #karina #ae karina #giselle #ae giselle #winter #ae winter #ningning #ae ningning #t: trans #era: black mamba #201117

[hellomynameisbisexual]

I’d go so far as to say that the nomination probably saved the site, in fact. For those who need a little background: despite being a small voluntary project the site was nominated for the 2014 Publication of the Year award by Stonewall, the UK’s largest LGBT charity, just nine months after its inception. This was a landmark step in Stonewall’s positive new direction on bi issues. To the best of my knowledge, this was the first time Stonewall had specifically nominated a specifically bi publication or organisation for an award. At this point my co-founder, who was taking care of the business side of things, had recently jumped ship and I was seriously considering packing the whole thing in. I won’t lie, I was astonished to read the email.

I’d worked on a publication which won the award under my editorship a few years previously. Unlike Biscuit, however, g3 magazine – at the time one of the two leading print mags for lesbian and bi women in the UK – had an estimated readership of 140,000, had been going for eight years and boasted full-time paid office staff and regular paid freelancers. Biscuit, by contrast, was being dragged along by one weary unpaid editor and a bunch of unpaid writers who understandably, for the most part, couldn’t commit to regularly submitting work.

Little Biscuit’s enormous competition for the award consisted of Buzzfeed, Attitude.co.uk, iNewspaper and Property Week. We didn’t win – that accolade went to iNewspaper – but the nomination was nevertheless, as I say, a huge catalyst to continue with the site. I launched a crowdfunder, which finished way off target. I sold one ad space, for two months. Then nothing. I attempted in vain to recruit a sales manager but nobody wanted to work on commission. Some wonderful writers came and went. There were periods of tumbleweed when I frantically had to fill the site with my own writing, thereby completely defeating the object of providing a platform for a wide range of bi voices.

The Stonewall Award nomination persuaded me to keep going with the site

The departure of the webmaster was another blow. Thankfully by this point I had a co-editor on board – the amazing Libby – so I was persuaded to stick with it. And here we are now. I don’t actually know where the next article is coming from. That’s not a good feeling. But, apart from for Biscuit, I try not to write for free anymore myself, so I understand exactly why that is. As a freelance journo trying to make a living I’ve had to be strict with myself about that. I regularly post on the “Stop Working For Free” Facebook group and often feel a pang of misplaced guilt because I ask my writers to write for free, even though I’m working on the site for free myself, and losing valuable time I could be spending on looking for paid work.

Biscuit hasn’t exactly been a stranger to controversy, in addition to its financial and staffing issues. Its original tagline – “for girls who like girls and boys” – was considered cis-centric by some, leading to accusations that the site had some kind of trans/genderqueer*-phobic agenda. Which was amusing, as at the height of this a) we’d just had two articles about non-binary issues published and b) I was actually engaged to a genderqueer partner, a fact they were clearly unaware of. Now the site is under fire from various pansexual activists who object to the term “bisexual”. To clarify – “girl and boys” was supposed to imply a spectrum and, no, we don’t think “bi” applies only to an attraction to binary folk. The site aims the main part of its content at female-spectrum readers attracted to more than one gender because this group does have specific needs. But there is something here for EVERYONE bisexual. Anyway, it’s a shame all of this gossip was relayed secondhand, and the people in question didn’t think to confront me about it (which at least the pan activists have bothered to do). We damage our community immeasurably with these kinds of Chinese whispers.

Biscuit ed Libby, being amazing

Whilst trying to keep the site afloat, I’ve also been building on the work I started right back when I edited g3, and trying to improve bi visibility in other media outlets. I’ve recently had articles published by Cosmopolitan, SheWired, The F-Word, GayStar News and Women Make Waves and I’m constantly emailing other sites which I’ve not yet written for with bi pitches. Unfortunately, although I am over the moon to be writing for mainstream outlets such as Cosmo about bi issues, it’s been an uphill struggle trying to persuade some editors out there that they have more readers to whom bi-interest stories apply than they might think. It’s an incredibly exhausting and frustrating process.

Libby and I are doing our best with Biscuit. I can’t guarantee that I would be doing anything at all with it if Libby hadn’t arrived on the scene, so once again I would like to mention how fabulous she is. But we desperately need more writers. We need some help with site design and tech issues. We need a hand with the business and sales side of things. We can’t do it without you. And if you know any rich bisexual heiresses who read Biscuit, please do send them our way. 😉

Grant Denkinson’s story

denkinsonpanel

Grant speaks on a panel chaired by Biscuit’s Lottie at a Bi Visibility Day event

So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in. 


“I’ve been involved with bisexual community organising for a bit over 20 years. Some has been within community: writing for and editing our national newsletter, organising events for bisexuals and helping others with their events by running workshop sessions or offering services such as 1st aid. I’ve spoken to the media about bisexuality and organised bi contingents at LGBT Pride events (sometimes just me in a bi T-shirt!). I’ve helped organise and participated in bi activist weekends and trainings. I’ve help train professionals about bisexuality. I’ve also piped up about bisexuality a lot when organising within wider LGBT and gender and sexuality and relationship diversity umbrellas. I’ve been a supportive bi person on-line and in person for other bi folks. I’ve been out and visibly bi for some time. I’ve helped fund bi activists to meet, publish and travel. I’ve funded advertising for bi events. I’ve set up companies and charities for or including bi people. I’ve personally supported other bi activists.”


What made you get involved?

“
In some ways I was looking for a way to be outside the norm and to make a difference and coming out as bi gave me something to push against. I’ve been less down on myself when feeling attacked. I’ve also found the bi community very welcoming and where I can be myself and so wanted to organise with friends and to give others a similar experience. There weren’t too many others already doing everything better than I could.”

How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?

“There have been great changes for same-sex attracted people legally and socially and these have happened quickly. Bi people have been involved with making that happen and benefit from it. We can also be hidden by gay advances or actively erased. We still have bi people not knowing many or any other local bi people, not seeing other bisexuals in the mainstream or LGT worlds and not knowing or being able to access community things with other bis. We are little represented in books or the media and people don’t know about the books and zines and magazines already available. The internet has made it easy to find like-minded people but also limited privacy and I think is really fragmented and siloed. It is hard to find bisexuals who aren’t women actors, harmful or fucked up men or women in pornography designed for straight men. We have persistent and high quality bi events but they are sparse and small.”

What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?

“I’m fed up of bi things just not happening if I don’t do them. Not everything should be in my style and voice and I shouldn’t be doing it all. I and other activists campaign for bi people to be more OK and don’t take care of ourselves enough while doing so. People are so convinced we don’t exist they don’t bother with a simple search that would find us. We have little resources while having some of the worst outcomes of any group. I don’t want to spend my entire life being the one person who reminds people about bisexuals, including our so-called allies. I’m not impressed with the problem resolution skills in our communities and while we talk about being welcoming I’m not sure we’re very effective at it. I’m fed up with mouthing the very basics and never getting into depth about bi lives and being one who supports but who is not supported. I’m all for lowering barriers but at a certain point if people don’t actively want to do bi community volunteering it won’t happen. Some people are great critics but build little.”

What do you want to say to other activists about this?

“Why are we doing this personally? I’m not sure we know. How long will we hope rather than do? Honestly, are there so few who care? Alternatively should we stop the trying to do bi stuff and either do some self-analysis, be happy to accept being what we are now as a community, chill out and just let stuff happen or give up and go and do something else instead.”

Patrick Richards-Fink’s story

085d4de So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in.

“Mostly internet – I am a Label Warrior, a theorist and educator. Here’s how I described it on my blog: “One of the reasons that I am a bisexual activist rather than a more general queer activist is because I see every day people just like me being told they don’t belong. It doesn’t mean I don’t work on the basic issues that we all struggle against — homophobia, heterosexism, classism, out-of-control oligarchy, racism, misogyny, this list in in no particular order and is by no means comprehensive. But I have found that I can be most effective if I focus, work towards understanding the deep issues that drive the problems that affect people who identify the same way that I have ever since I started to understand who I am. I find that I’m not a community organizer type of activist or a storm the capitol with a petition in one hand and a bullhorn in the other activist — I’m much better at poring over studies and writing long wall-o’-text articles and occasionally presenting what I’ve gleaned to groups of students until my voice is so hoarse that I can barely do more than croak.” So internet, and when I was still in school, a lot of on-campus stuff. Now I’m moving into a new phase where my activism is more subtle – I’m working as a therapist, and so my social justice lens informs my treatment, especially of bi and trans people.”

What made you get involved?

“I can’t not be.”

How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?

“I feel like we made a couple strides, and every time that happens the attacks renewed. I hionestly think the constant attempts to divide the bisexual community into ‘good pansexuals’ and ‘bad bisexuals’ and ‘holy no-labels’ is the thing that’s most likely to screw us.”

What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?



“It is literally everywhere I turn – colleges redefining bisexuality on their LGBT Center pages, news articles quoting how ‘Bi=2 and pan=all therefore pan=better’, everybloodywhere I turn I see it every day. The word bi is being taken out of the names of organisations now, by the next group of up-and-comers who haven’t bothered to learn their history and understand that if you erase our past, you take away our present. Celebrities come out as No Label, wtf is that. Don’t they make kids read 1984 anymore? It’s gotten to the point now that even seeing the word pansexual in print triggers me. I’m reaching the point now that if someone really wants to be offended when all I am trying to do is welcome them on board, then I don’t have time for it.”

What do you want to say to other activists about this?

“Stay strong, and don’t give them a goddamned inch. I honestly think that the bi organizations – even, truth be told, the one I am with – are enabling this level of bullshit by attempting to be conciliatory, saying things that end up reinforcing the idea that bi and pan are separate communities. We try to be too careful not to offend anyone. Like the thing about Freddie Mercury. Gay people say ‘He was gay.’ Bi people say ‘Um, begging your pardon, good sirs and madams and gentlefolk of other genders, but Freddie was bi.’ And they respond ‘DON’T GIVE HIM A LABEL HE DIDN’T CLAIM WAAHHH WAAHHH!’ And yet… Freddie Mercury never used the label ‘gay’, but it’s OK when they do it. And he WAS bisexual by any measure you want to use. But we back down. And 2.5% of the bisexual population decides pansexual is a better word, and instead of educating them, we add ‘pan’ to our organisation names and descriptions. Now, this is clearly a dissenting view – I will always be part of a united front where my organization is concerned. But everyone knows how I feel, and I think it’s totally valid to be loyal and in dissent at the same time. Not exactly a typically American viewpoint, but everyone says I’d be a lot more at home in Britain than I am here anyway.”

#bisexual activism #bisexual activist #bi tumblr #bisexual tumblr #bisexuality #bi #support bisexuality #bisexuality is valid #bi pride #pride #lgbtq pride #lgbtq #lgbtq community #bisexual education #bisexual nation #bisexual rights #support bisexual #bisexual people #support bisexual people #respect bisexual people #bisexual injustice #bisexual justice #bisexual youth #bisexual women #bisexual men #bisexual representation #bisexual #bisexual community #bisexual facts #bisexual info

[sexedforbiguys]

Dating and sex during COVID – Sex Ed for Bi Guys

Original image source

Published January 8, 2020.

This is the SFW version of this post. You can view the sexually explicit version here on Pillowfort.

Based on my conversations on r/BisexualMen and our Discord, many of bi+ and bicurious men date and explore their sexuality despite the pandemic. Many – not all – public health guidelines are the equivalent of abstinence-only sex education, shaming people who follow anything other than the strictest of practices, providing no information for those who take risks on how to minimize those risks nonetheless, and dismissing costs and risks of being deprived of intimate human contact. Here are tools to decide what risk level you’re comfortable with if you choose to date or have sex during COVID-19, and to reduce risks that comes with activities you choose to undertake.

It’s tempting to judge or shame people for making decisions that are risky during a pandemic but if shaming worked, we would have stopped HIV dead in its tracks in the 1980s. Shaming people is bad public health policy that leads to worse outcomes, while meeting people where they’re at has been proven to work time and time again.

The science and best practices on the pandemic evolve constantly, and I am not a healthcare professional. It’s possible information in this guide will become outdated. Keep tabs on the current situation with the virus and on the most up-to-date public health recommendations in your area for minimizing pandemic risk.

The obvious

When there is community transmission in your area, it’s safest to not meet anyone indoors besides your own household and to follow to the letter public health guidelines. Your safest sex partner is yourself, followed by someone from your household. Any kind of prolonged, close physical contact with someone from outside your bubble is risky. There can be legal consequences also to breaking public health ordinances.

Risk

Risk is relative and it’s a spectrum. It has different dimensions too: you can act safer on some dimensions to somewhat offset risks you take in other dimensions. Yet safety has costs. When people take risks, it’s often because they have decided the cost of safety in that instance – boredom, loneliness, touch starvation, sexual frustration, deteriorating mental health, etc. – was higher than risks. People make these calculations all the time. Stay informed to make enlightened decisions about what risks there are to your health and that of others, and how they can be reduced. Then choose what risks you are willing to take and which you aren’t.

Men having sex with other men more often during the pandemic and increased substance use are linked. Think of getting mental health support if you’re using to cope, especially when the result is taking risks you wouldn’t take otherwise. You deserve support, even when your behaviour involves higher risk. Continue your usual STI prevention methods too, like condoms, PrEP, regular testing or other prevention tactics you use, even if you f**k less often. My friend works in a STI clinic and they are swamped despite the COVID pandemic.

Talk with people you plan to meet

How do you each protect yourselves from COVID? How many people are in your respective bubbles? How many people do you each see outside of that bubble? Under what conditions? Were you tested for COVID in the last few days? What risk level is acceptable for each of you? How fast or how slowly do you want to take things? In what ways do you want to be in contact for now?

Talk with people in your bubble

COVID can infect people you share spaces with. So tell these people you are thinking of dating or maybe even having sexual encounters, explain how you are planning to reduce risks, and agree with them on what risks are acceptable and what safety practices they want you to take when you do this. It is possible they won’t be comfortable with anything other than online contact, or masked, physically distanced outdoor meetings. Also, maybe it’s not possible for you to share details of your romantic and sexual life with folks in your bubble: maybe you’re closeted, for example. Sadly, their safety is on the line when it comes to this. Whatever decisions you make, weigh the risks you take keeping in mind you are exposing them to these risks also, and that they trust you too keep your bubble as safe as possible.

Tactics for minimizing risk

Knowledge. Read more complete documents than this post on safer sex during COVID and look for more up-to-date information. Check news and public health websites to know what community transmission rates are in your area, along with current public health guidelines and ordinances. The higher community transmission rates are, the more risk-aware you need to be. Learn where and how to get tested as well.

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Number of partners. Having a single dating or sex partner that you integrate in your bubble is safer than seeing a new person every week, and it makes intimate physical contact less risky. Also, group sex is very risky when it’s with people from outside your bubble, so discuss with participants what other tactics you can use to reduce COVID risk.

Physical distance. Many contacts can happen from a distance. You can message dates and partners. You can video chat. You can meet and keep a 2-meter distance. When sex is involved, you can sext each other, trade nudes and videos, roleplay fantasies or have a domination/submission relationship over chat if you’re all into that, put on a live cam show for each other, etc. These activities are safe from COVID (be mindful of privacy and leaked chats, pics or vids). In the same room, you could decide to keep at least a two-meter distance, and put on a sexy show for each other as well. If you eliminate physical distance, you will have to rely on other tactics.

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Environment. Outdoors is far safer than indoors. A small room is riskier than a large room. A space with poor ventilation is riskier than a well-ventilated space. Many people meet outdoors physically distanced for the first few dates before deciding if they want more intimacy. I would never advise you to break the law or more importantly, to neglect safeguarding unwilling people from witnessing your sexual activities but technically, sex outdoors is safer than sex indoors...

Barriers. A mask covering your mouth and nose makes a difference, even if you’re physically right next to each other or f**king. Unless you have access to N95 respirators https://www.menshealth.com/health/a34247889/n95-vs-kn95-masks-covid/ and know how to use them properly, your mask protects others from your own breath and saliva, and their mask protects you from theirs, but not the other way around. So everyone having their mask on is safer than some people taking off their masks. If you’ve ever wanted to roleplay those masked post-apocalyptic or riot sex fantasies, now has never been a better time! Also, anonymous sex carries other risks than COVID, but glory holes are an effective barrier.

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Washing. Wash your hands before and after touching each other. Same with your bodies when mouths and hands have been roaming on them.

Sex acts and positioning. The closer your faces are to each other, even masked, the riskier the proximity is. So some positions for sexual intimacy are less risky. Kissing is the riskiest. If you’re not having sex, but would like less risky physical contact that still has some intimacy, sitting back-to-back while holding hands and talking about intimate stuff is an option. Semen and feces can contain the COVID virus, but it’s unknown if vaginal or anal sex can transmit it – wearing condoms along with keeping semen out of your mouth and your mouth off buttholes could help (on top of reducing STI and unplanned pregnancy risk). Oral sex and sex positions that keep your faces away from each other (doggy style or 69, anyone?) are less risky. BDSM practices that involve masks, doing thing to someone’s back or behind, or any practice where faces can stay away from one another, can carry less risk also.

Testing, vaccination and immunity. Getting tested for COVID in the days before a physical meeting helps, but it’s not fool-proof. As vaccination is rolling out, get the vaccine as soon as you become eligible for it. Science on how well or how long people are immune to COVID after an infection has uncertainty, but recent findings are encouraging. Dating and sex among people who have recently recovered could be a risk-reduction tactic.

For many bisexual, pansexual and polysexual men discovering their own sexuality and coming to term with their orientation, COVID put a stop to any exploration they had been dreaming of. You deserve the tools you need to protect your health, no matter your decisions. A healthcare practitioner that you trust with not being judgmental is an invaluable source of advice too. I hope you find the right balance between meeting your needs for companionship, love, touch, intimacy, and sex, and staying safe during this pandemic.

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