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#I know that they’d say I am but I’m just not sure
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mission (im)possible (April 30th prompt; Rational) @jilymicrofics
Lily shares a quick look with James, both of them now seated at the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, facing their son.
Their almost seventeen years old son.
“So…what’s up Snitch?” James asks, and as always, he seems perfectly able to keep his grin on, although Lily knows they both feel uneasy.
In fact, they’d both hardly been able to think of anything other than this moment for the entire day, ever since Harry’s asked them about a chat after dinner.
Now, he looks just as worried as them. Though, Lily would think that that’s hardly possible.
“I’ve got a plan.” he replies his Dad, clasping his hands together on the table. “And…you probably won’t like it.”
Lily purses her lips. She is already sure she won’t like it. “A plan?” she asks, raising her brow. “What for?”
It’s unnecessary really, to ask that, for it could only ever be one thing, yet Lily still hopes it wouldn’t be that.
Anything but that.
James stirs next to her, leaning onto his elbows. “You’re not dropping out, kid, are you?” he jokes, chuckling amusedly—
Until they both see the sinister look on Harry’s face.
James falls quiet at once, glancing over at her before he looks back at their son. “You’re not—“
“I am.” Harry‘s decisive voice cuts James off. “I’m sorry, but I have to.”
Lily can only stare back at him — at the boy, their boy, with way too many burdens, all unjustly placed upon his young shoulders. It’s painfully overwhelming, because she still remembers, like it was yesterday, how he used to be so much smaller. How he’d held onto her hand whilst going out, or asked for bedtime stories and good night cuddles.
Lily’s heart clenches. How fast did the years pass? Spiting any rational thought, she can’t help but wish she could have frozen time, just for a little while.
Because now, she can’t help but mourn for the carefree little boy Harry had been. How could she not? When her son looks so utterly worn and tired these days.
“You don’t have to,” James protests, and Lily can hear the frustration clear in his voice.
She places her hand upon his arm to calm him, whilst her eyes bore intently into Harry‘s. “Why do you think that?” she asks him calmly.
Harry looks away, towards the small kitchen window. “I…can’t tell you.”
James sighs, before he takes Harry‘s hand into his over the table. “Yes, you can. Common Snitch, you know we want to help.” he tries. “Tell us.”
Lily nods her head eagerly. “Your Dad’s right, love.” she adds, taking his other hand. “You can tell us.”
For a moment, when their son‘s green eyes flicker up to look at her and James, he seems so close to tell them — tell them everything that’s been worrying him so much. But it’s too fleeting a moment for Lily to even be sure she hadn’t just imagined it.
“I can’t.” he insists instead, pulling his hands away. “I’m sorry, I really am.”
Lily can see the truly apologetic look in his eyes, though that doesn’t help to ease her worries.
“I promised Dumbledore I wouldn’t.”
Dumbledore?
Lily’s eyes flutter closed for just a second, as she silently curses the man that, although he’d always been a good friend, had more than once now disappointed her.
Even in death, his mysterious plans still seem to be continued, with Harry as their main act — which goes against everything she and James have wanted for their boy.
James’s hand clutches into a fist on the table. “What?” he asks angrily. “Why would he want you to promise him that?”
He’s angry. Lily can tell that he’s so very short of raising his voice. She can understand him for it too, for she feels just as frustrated.
Harry on the other hand remains almost stoically calm. “Because he knew it wouldn’t help if I did,” he explains. “You can’t help me this time.”
And just like that, Lily’s resolve crumbles.
“Don’t say that.” she argues fiercely, her unnaturally pitched tone a clear reflection of her own despair.
“Mum, it’s fine—“ Harry sighs tiredly, as though he’d known this would happen. As though no matter what Lily says, he’d already made up his mind.
“It’s far from fine!” she retorts anyways, fighting best she can the sudden feeling of tears in her eyes. “I don’t care what Albus told you. We can help, and we will.”
Harry opens his mouth to reply, but Lily’s too deeply upset to let him. “You can’t just decide to do this on your own, Harry. I won’t let you. We’re in this together, we’ve always been—“
“We’ve never been in it together!” Harry interrupts, jumping to his feet.
Lily can’t help but flinch, her words dying on her tongue as she stares at him, utterly shocked by his uncharacteristic outburst. She can’t recall him ever reacting like this in her presence before.
“Harry,” James warns. “Don’t talk to your Mum like that.”
But Harry only shoots him a quick look, ignoring his warning, before his blazing eyes lock with her’s once more. “You can’t help me.” he insists. “And you should stop trying to convince yourselves otherwise.”
His words rip Lily’s heart into shreds. Not only because he’d said it with such unwavering conviction, but because deep down, Lily knows he’s right.
It hurts worse than any torture curse ever could.
“Harry!” James exclaims loudly, standing up as well.
“What?” he bites back, but where any other person might see anger, Lily now sees her son‘s very best attempt to steel himself.
It’s better they’d be angry with him, rather than heartbroken, before he’d leave. Suddenly, it all makes sense.
Slowly, she stands up, and without another word, walks around the table until she’s just an arm’s length away from her son. “You don’t have to go.” she says quietly, tears once again filling her eyes. “Please, sweetheart.”
Harry turns away from James to look at her with sad, but unwavering eyes. “Mum—“
“No, please,” Lily repeats quickly, taking hold of his arms. “We’ll figure it out. I promise. You can’t— Dumbledore could be wrong.” she implies, biting her lower lip. “I can’t let you go.”
It’s finally out. Lily can’t let go, not when there’s a chance that she’d never—
“I can’t let you risk your life.” she says fiercely, as she pulls him closer to her, until their foreheads almost touch.
“Like you did?” Harry asks knowingly.
Lily curses her son‘s wit in that moment. “It’s different,” she argues, although she knows that really, it isn’t different at all. “I wanted to protect you—“
“I know.” Harry smiles slightly. “And now, I can finally return the favour.”
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kumquatqueenb · 17 hours
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I have a fic idea,
what if instead of in season 5 when Chimney was tortured and Hen had to watch; Buck was tortured and someone had to watch. all while the others are breaking down trying to find him. Buddie ofc could/would happen but what do you think?
Ok so first of all, let me just say, I immensely enjoyed the Hen&Chim arc in season 5. Anything featuring their bestie-ism and unwavering support of each other is something that I would sell my soul for.
Second of all, ok, I am running with you on this fic idea, potentially in a different direction than what you originally intended, but I am running ok?!
So to set the scene, we’ve got Buck who somehow got kidnapped, I haven’t figured out why or how yet, but it happened. The rest of the 118 finds out, don’t know how either, but they did, and now they are consequently freaking out. Bobby is stressed but trying to keep his cool so he can keep the rest of the team functional so they can do whatever is necessary to get Buck back. Hen and Chim have a full crime board set up trying to put the pieces together. Eddie is going back and forth between helping Hen and Chim with the crime board and just generally spiraling over potentially losing the love of his life.
Things are not pretty, but there is still hope! Something that Bobby has been fervently reminding them of.
“118! Heads held high, we are going to get through this! We will find him!” Bobby calls to his coworkers gathered around in Buck’s trashed loft.
“Yes Cap.” Hen and Chim parrot dutifully.
Eddie is staring somewhere middle distance and not at all paying attention.
“Hen, Chim, make sure Eddie is breathing please.” Bobby sighed, running a hand through his hair to try and deal with his restless energy, “And nobody start panicking, I’m going to call Athena and she’ll know what to do.”
“Did anyone turn on the TV?” Eddie asked, voice so blank that it tore Bobby’s attention from where he was scrolling through his phone to get to his wife’s contact.
Bobby turned and found that the TV was showing a staticky screen, which was weird because Bobby could’ve sworn it had been off when they’d entered the apartment.
“Uh, that was off before, right?” Chim asked, panic creeping into his voice as he glanced around the apartment nervously, “Eddie, Buck hasn’t mentioned his place being potentially haunted lately, right?”
“Obviously not. Ghosts aren’t real.” Eddie said, gaze still fixed unwaveringly on the TV.
“Look, it’s fine. It’s just some static.” Bobby said in his calmest voice, “I’m sure we just… missed it, when we came in.”
“Right. A group of first responders who are all trained to take in an entire scene in seconds all just… missed it.” Hen said, eyebrows raised to show her skepticism.
She was right, of course she was, Hen was rarely ever wrong, but for the sake of keeping everyone calm and rational he really didn’t need her poking holes in his explanations. In fairness though, Hen being overly critical and suspicious was her own way of panicking in these types of situations. Sometimes he just forgot that because she rarely ever panicked.
“Either way, it’s fine.” He said, taking a deep breath as he turned his back on the TV to face them, “It’s just some static, it isn’t going to hurt us.”
It was right as he finished his sentence that they all gasped and rushed past him to huddle around the TV screen. He whipped around to see what had startled them so much and found that the static had been replaced. Now, displayed across Buck’s flat screen was Buck himself.
He was tied to a chair that was bolted down to the floor and he was gagged with what looked like some cloth and duct tape. He had also clearly been beaten and there was blood and bruises all over him.
“Jesus, kid.” Bobby muttered as he darted forward to get closer to the screen like the others. “What did they do to you?”
“I’m going to rip whoever did this to shreds.” Eddie muttered darkly, and the others just nodded along.
“Bobby, it’s time to call Athena.” Hen said, not daring to take her eyes off the screen, “Buck doesn’t look great, we need to get him to a hospital.”
Bobby didn’t bother arguing with her, instead unlocking his phone which was still in his hand and tapping the call button on Athena’s contact. The phone rang once in his ear before Bobby was hearing Athena’s ringtone.
That made no sense though, because Athena wasn’t here so why would her phone be?
Hen straightened, shooting Bobby a puzzled look having also recognized the ringtone as her friend’s. “Bobby, what-”
Hen cut herself off as there was a sudden movement on the screen. There was a gloved finger being ticked back and forth in front of the camera in a ‘no no no’ motion. Then the camera was swinging sickeningly fast and the screen showed a new person sitting in an identical chair tied up and gagged.
It was Athena. She looked decidedly better than Buck did with no visible injuries and enough wherewithal to glare at the camera with enough fire to melt the world. The gloved hand came back into view, holding Athena’s phone this time with the screen lit up showing an incoming call from Bobby. The hand waited a minute, probably to give them enough time to see what he was holding before it pulled away and then the phone was smashing against the wall by Athena’s head.
To her credit, she didn’t even flinch, her fiery gaze unwavering on whoever was behind the camera. Then suddenly the image froze and then the screen turned black once more.
It was dead silent in Buck’s apartment before Chimney asked, “Uh, Bobby? Is it time to panic now?”
“Yes.” Bobby breathed out before he could think better of it, panic clawing its way up his own throat as his breaths turned shallow and ragged.
He couldn’t do this, not again. He couldn’t lose his wife and his kid again, he wouldn’t survive it this time.
“Ok, woah! No one panic!” Hen called, snapping her fingers in front of all their faces as forcefully as she could.
“Bobby, calling your wife obviously isn’t going to work.” Hen pointed out, “So now it’s time to call mine.”
Cue Karen coming in and kicking ass with her investigative skills and her ability to create investigative computer programs. Then we get Bobby&Eddie double teaming saving the people they love while Hen&Chim provide back up. Maddie comes in about halfway through when Chim panics and tells her what’s going on and she gets dispatch to help Karen&Co with her investigation. Buck is super injured by the time they got to him, Athena is ok but incredibly pissed because she wasn’t rly the target. The kidnapper knew the 118 and knew that Athena would be able to find them cause she’s awesome so they just kidnapped her too as a precaution. Unfortunately they underestimated the rest of the 118. But anyway, happy tearful reunions for all and plenty of buddie, Bathena, Henren, and even a bit of Madney content.
Anyway, tysm for this ask, this was fun to write :)
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decembermoonskz · 8 months
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seilon · 8 months
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got another job interview tomorrow. pray 4 me
#it was originally for a busser or server job at a cocktail bar in a luxury hotel but the manager on the phone seemed like she wanted to#interview me for the position of host so. yeah#I’m a little intimidated by that role because I am not the most social person on earth to say the least but. I may be able to get used to it#and I will admit. I am kind of motivated by the pay and tips from being a host. cause holy hell it’s 18 bucks an hour plus tips#and that’s plus tips at a 4 star hotel. where the menu is pretty pricy and the people coming there Well Off.#I didn’t really consider that before but hhhhhhh……………that sure is enticing#hoo boy but anyway. a little nervous about this interview cause I’ve never done a host or server job before#but my conversation with the manager over the phone seemed to go pretty well i think so hey#kibumblabs#oh yeah I also cut my hair short last minute and i can’t tell if that was a horrible idea or not yet#it’s not nearly as finished as I’d want it to be but. here we are I guess#I havent legit cut my own hair (let alone this Much of it) in like. a couple years now I think#I think it looks fine but I’m just hoping I don’t regret it#I know it’ll grow out again eventually but idk#I did this kinda impulsively because of the job interview tomorrow. like I was kinda worried for such a nice place they’d be a little#picky with their appearance preferences and like. I didn’t want it to look like my hair was overgrown and unstyled like it was + most of#the bleached parts are cut off now so it looks a little more sophisticated I guess#but also I’ve been getting a little dysphoric lately because I haven’t been passing despite being almost 2 years on t and I think my hair#being longish wasn’t helping#now you can see my jawline and the haircut is more traditionally masculine and etc so. praying I am not called ma’am or anything at the#store or whatever anymore.
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places-people · 11 months
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need a guy w large muscles to hug me for between 15 business minutes and 8 business hours
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munamania · 2 years
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sorry bitterness consumes the soul etc etc <33 i will say though. depending on what is going through her head this could all be really fucking cruel lmfao
#like. alright. idk if she Knows i have feelings for her but given the whole blocked stories thing and whatever like. who knows#what bf said. and whether she is or was at any point genuinely confused or something because she does like him but we. hit it off. and it#was all just a Lot. like that doesn’t give the excuse for the times when it felt like she was sorta.. leading me on. yk. though maybe i was#truly delusional and stupid last semester i don’t know. maybe she just also enjoys talking to me on a friendly level and that’s fine and all#but it’d be really weird if she like. also refuses to acknowledge me outside of class? or anything like that..#or like. basically was just using me to stroke her ego in that sense if she does Know. like that would be shitty#would i like to be friends sure do i think this would absolutely crush my soul probably.#and i’d like to say ohh i don’t think she’s doing xy or z but i truly don’t know her. you know. beyond the little bits#of time we’ve had to talk about our lives and whatever#and anyway. it is stupid that i’ve spent so long trying to guess at what’s on her mind cause i’ll never know unless you know.#we’re ever close enough that we can talk about it or. whatever.#so. i definitely think when i see her again i’m going to take any chance i can to say something about last semester. um yk. in a way that#makes sense i’m not just insane. though i do hope that i can subtly make boyfriend seem really paranoid and weird. sorry. lol. but he was!#honestly if i were hitting on her or trying to make a move i’d understand him being like that but i was polite and friendly#so he has no business getting involved in my personal feelings! yeah i#don’t like him yeah i have feelings for his gf but you get what i mean i’m not. Trying to be an asshole here.#do i wish they’d break up? if she’s not happy. but am i going to like literally be a homewrecker? obviously not again who knows#if i even have the sway to. SORRY i’m being soooo insane one thing about me i can talk about a topic#a million times. anyway.#i just hope it’s not insane emotional manipulation or anything on anyones part i don’t know.#we have a really easy banter so i think it’ll be easy enough to talk to her and then hopefully. have a little bit more clarity as to where#we stand. yk.#abby talks#might delete this later if i decide i’m being a little tooooo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫#i guess what i’m trying to say is. because this isn’t all the clear and obviously it’d be fine if we’re just friends. but the way we#interact is a little. idk. like we tease each other a lot and it’s like girl idk u tho… i’m having fun but huh?
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fulokis · 10 months
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I got added to a book group and I’m not sure why, like I struggle so badly with reading it’s not funny. Maybe it’s cause I write but like even then it’s not original shit it’s just piggybacking on other stuff and I haven’t posted any of it in ages
#I’m confused#like I like feeling included and shit but like also I don’t understand what possessed them to add me#I kinda wonder if it was their our friend and we don’t want to keep secrets sorta thing#which is nice and all but like I’m totally okay with not being in it#also it’s some people I’ve never talked to so like it’s exhausting enough having met a new online friend this week much less three#idk i might lurk but I honestly am confused by the social interaction#also I typed she for myself and I wanted to throw my phone#it’s cause they don’t know I’m nb and I’m not sure they’d understand#also I find it so much easier to get along with guys than girls so like there’s that#and the more I think about this paired with the videos on autism I was watching today the more it seems likely#I just still hesitate to self diagnose because of past experiences self diagnosing with depression and anxiety#like I was literally told if it’s not by a doctor it’s not valid by my then best friend#just for the bitch years latter to come to me and say I understand what you meant about the depression#my best friend now tho when I brought up the possibility of autism was like yeah I can see it#although her adhd ass still gets annoyed when I’m too low energy to even socialize with her#I really need to find a therapist but first a doctor because I’m about to run out of meds#like technically a psychiatrist would be able to do that too but it was originally my doctor who did so that’s going to be less painful#that is if I can figure that shit out#all I know is it won’t before my meds run out
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sleyu · 9 months
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no thoughts just mean!bf remus mocking your cries n whimpers as he fucks into you n tells you how desperate you are for him
i genuinely needed to sit down and stare at my phone for a good two minutes to process this i am going crazy.
he would be so, so, so mean. the gag is that he’s the one who initiates everything and is, in fact, equally if not more desperate. but, mean ! remus loves ignoring this and instead, mocks you for your every cry and whine.
remus’ cock is so big, both in length and width. every time he’s inside you, it feels like the first time all over again because his size is just so overwhelming. remus sometimes feels bad for doing this, but his cock throbs at the sight of you struggling to take him and he often loses self-control and meanly laughs in your face when you cry out at the feeling of him suddenly pushing into you. every time you would tell him to slow down, he’d only go faster, laughing breathlessly at your whines and the tears on your cheeks.
‘telling me to stop but i’m sure you like this, don’t you, baby? cunt’s so fuckin’ wet.’
‘does it hurt, dove? thought you said you could take me?’
just imagine remus calling you his fussy little baby; every time you paw at his thighs, attempting to tell him that you need him while he’s studying, he’d just sigh in annoyance and bend you over his desk to fuck you stupid :( i don’t know if remus would slap you or not, but he would definitely tug your hair to force you to look up at him every time he takes you from behind !
‘is that what you needed, hm? all you fuckin’ think about is getting filled up—is this what my baby needed? such a fuckin’ brat, no patience at all.’
he genuinely has to control himself from busting inside you at the sight of your wobbly lips and furrowed eyebrows, paired with your teary eyes and the quiet mewls coming out from your mouth. you just look so fucked out and cute, he has to resist leaning down and peppering kisses all over your face.
i know this is a little unhinged but all i’ve been thinking about is remus fucking you in your childhood bedroom and calling you gross and disgusting for enjoying it when he ruins you as your parents are downstairs.
‘fuck—imagine what they’d say when they see their little girl slutting herself out like this. i’ve completely ruined you, haven’t i? no longer their innocent baby, are you, honey?’ BRRRRR i need psychiatric help.
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thelaisydazy · 2 months
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Firefighter!Simon Riley x Reader - Locked Out Pt. 2
Johnny drags you inside the station, ignoring the confused looks he gets from the other men inside. He walks you over to the oldest of them, a man with a beard sporting a hat, and introduces you. 
“This is oor captain, Price,” Johnny says, his arm still over your shoulder. “Cap, bonnie ‘ere lost their keys doon th’ drain. Can we gi’ them a hand?”
“I’m sure Gary could get to them,” Price says, offering a warm smile and his hand to shake, which you do. “You rest here mux.” He turned to the couch where a man with dark, curly hair sat. “Kyle, keep our guest company, we’ll be back.” He pats Johnny on the shoulder and the two leave to find Gary and retrieve your keys. 
Kyle stands from the couch and walks over. He’s handsome, pretty you think. He definitely knows it too as he catches you staring, giving you a smile. “Hungry?” he asks.
---
Simon emerged from the showers, wearing only a pair of sweatpants, his damp towel slung over his broad shoulders as his blond hair was still dripping wet. The station house was quiet. Johnny must still be out walking Riley. 
A quiet laugh broke that silence though. One that made his stony heart skip a beat. Simon made his way towards the common area, finding the one thing he never expected. You. 
Kyle was sitting with one arm on the couch behind you, the other on his leg. You hadn’t noticed Simon yet, too engrossed in Kyle’s story about the time Riley climbed into the open window of a cop car to get into a bag of treats the officer had hidden under his seat.
“So Riley was hanging halfway out this cop’s car, an’ Johnny’s trying to get him out before the cop gets back,” Kyle said. “Turns out, the cop had a bag of treats in the car. Found out when Simon called Riley over. Rascal had the bag hanging out his mouth.” 
The sound of your laugh makes Simon’s heart race and he finds himself jealous of the way your fingers gently scratched behind Riley’s ear as the dog’s head lays in your lap. 
Simon can’t help but stare. He’d always known how pretty you were, but seeing you here in the station.. He only wished he was the one you were sitting with. That he was the one making you laugh so easily. 
“Bonnie! We got yer keys!” Johnny calls, coming up behind Simon. 
Your head whips around, catching a glimpse of Simon as he turns on his heels and retreats deeper into the station. 
---
In his room, Simon’s heart pounds in his chest. He runs a large hand through his blond hair, his mind racing. All he’d wanted these past few months was to know you better, though he’d never been able to bring himself to speak more than a few words to you. Never had he thought he’d see you in the firehouse, much less cozied up on their couch. What were you even doing here? 
A knock on his door brought his answer. Simon quickly pulled on his privacy mask, some part of him hoping it was you. Instead he saw Johnny. 
“Aye, Si, did ye see we git a guest?” Johnny asked with that cheeky grin of his. Ah. That was it. Johnny brought you here. 
“I saw..” Simon said, keeping his voice measured despite his urge to to tear Johnny in half for getting up the nerve to talk to you before he could. 
“Ye never told me tha’ wee thing wis so cuit,” Johnny pressed. “S’already git Kyle wrapped ‘round their wee finger.”
Simon’s dark eyes sharpened. Johnny always knew just how to get under his thick skin. 
“Am sure they’d lek t’ see ye,” Johnny continued. “Looked a might fash when ye stormed off.”
“Didn’t ‘ave m’ mask,” Simon muttered. “Wasn’t expecting them..”
“Aye, ha t’ git Gary t’ rescue their keys,” Johnny explained. His blue eyes briefly looked Simon up and down. “Y’should say ‘ello. Am sure they’d lek t’ see ye.”
Johnny was dense but he wasn’t stupid. He knew Simon could get anyone he wanted, he had the looks to make just about anyone, including Johnny himself, melt. If only Simon had the confidence to actually talk to anyone. 
When Simon didn’t budge, Johnny decided to push further. “Aye wis think’n, LT,” he started. “I might ask ‘em oot fer coffee.” Johnny shrugged as he watched Simon tense. 
Simon shoved past Johnny, making his way to the common area again. Leaving Johnny grinning at his door.
---
“Coffee.”
Simon’s gruff voice startles you. You hadn’t seen him enter the room, much less hear him walk up behind where you were sitting on the couch. 
You blink those pretty eyes up at him. “What?”
“With me.” He doesn’t seem to be asking by his tone, but his eyes are almost pleading. 
“Uh.. sure,” you say, unable to keep the smile from your lips. 
The tension in Simon’s shoulders melted away. If he had a tail, it would be wagging.
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scuderiahoney · 3 months
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Ache
Oscar Piastri x female reader
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Summary: Leaving you behind makes Oscar’s chest hurt. Sometimes coming home is just as hard. Word Count: 1.9k
a/n: Remember a while ago when I threatened promised Oscar angst? I finally followed through.
Warnings: angst, sexual content minors do not interact!, cockwarming (who am I?)
Oscar stumbles into the apartment as quietly as he can. It’s nearing 3am, and the entire world is asleep, including you. He’s careful with his suitcase, opting to carry it instead of rolling it, trying his best to not make any noise. Somehow, though, when he looks up, he finds you standing in the hallway.
You’re in one of his hoodies, the sleeves hanging over your hands. He’s pretty sure you’re wearing his sweatpants, too, just based on the way they hang low and loose on your hips. He catches sight of a pair of soft pink panties beneath that, ones that would have him absolutely drooling in any other situation. Your hair is a mess, and he winces at the sleepy look on your face.
“You waited up,” he says with a sigh.
You nod and rub at one of your eyes as you fight a yawn. “Missed you.”
Something in his heart breaks at the raw sound of your voice. He knows if he looked hard enough he’d find tear tracks on your cheeks. They’d be his to take the blame for. He left four days ago as you held onto his arm and tried to convince him not to go. He knows you know he didn’t want to leave. That it’s his job, that he had to go. It doesn’t mean the leaving hurts any less.
Now he stands in the hallway of your shared apartment and feels the guilt all over again. He can put it out of his mind most race weekends, too busy and pumped up on adrenaline to really feel it. But he comes home exhausted and finds you like this, and it stabs him in the gut again.
“I missed you too,” he says, quietly. “More than you even understand.”
He winces when he says it, because he’s said it before and gotten varying responses. You insist that it’s easier on him, because he’s busy and having fun, and you’re at home, just waiting for him to come back. The first season of F1 has been hard on you both, an endless push and pull, tug of war. You come to the races when you can, but you have your own life. Oscar doesn’t want to take that away, but…
When he goes to bed alone, in an empty hotel room, and thinks of you on your own, too, it tears him apart.
He’s home now. For two weeks, he’s home. He’s waiting for you to make the first move. Sometimes he comes home and you fling yourself into his arms. Other times you sit on the couch and cry until you fall asleep, and then he carries you to bed. He wishes he knew what to do, how to fix it. He’s gone as far to ask Lando for advice- his teammate just smiled sadly at him, squeezed his upper arm, and admitted he was the worst person to ask.
You rub your cheek softly with your fingers. Oscar’s hand twitches. He wants to reach out and cup your face himself. The sweatpants you’re wearing slip down your hip, and you let them fall. He swallows tightly.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
You shake your head. “You’re not sorry.”
His eyes flicker up to the ceiling. His head hurts, right along with his chest.
“I don’t want you to be sorry, Osc,” you say. “I know you can’t change it. I just…”
He nods. “I know. I’m not sorry I was gone. But I am sorry that I hurt you so much when I leave.”
Those seem to be the magic words tonight. You stumble across the gap between the two of you and nearly tackle him with the force of your hug. He lets out a noise between a laugh and a sob. He wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the top of your head, breathes you in and lets the feeling wash over him. The weight of you soothes the ache in his chest just a little bit.
He starts to shuffle the two of you towards the bedroom, step by precarious step. He’s unwilling to let go of you, because he knows if he does you’ll start crying and that pain will be back in his heart. He carefully dodges the piles of clothes on the bedroom floor, and the two of you fall onto the bed with soft groans. He collapses on top of you. The weight of the world is on his shoulders. It feels better when he rests against you.
You reach up and run your hand through his hair. “I’m sorry I was such a baby when you left.”
He groans into the crook of your neck. “Can we talk about it tomorrow?”
He really does want to talk about it, because it hurts to leave and he knows it hurts you, too, but the way you beg him to stay makes it a million times worse. He’s torn, because he doesn’t want you to stop telling him how you feel, but the weight of your anxiety over his absence is so heavy on his chest every time.
But right now he’s here, and he’s laying on top of you, and this is all he’s wanted for days. Since the second he left the apartment, he’s been dreaming about this. He doesn’t want to ruin it with a difficult conversation.
You nod. He sighs again and rubs his nose against your jaw, presses a soft kiss to your pulse point. You sigh in response.
Daniel said it gets easier- the leaving, the distance. He also made a reference to money making it easier, to the idea that maybe eventually, you won’t feel the need to work and that you could just travel with Oscar. He wonders if that’s something you’d ever want. If you’d give up the other parts of your life, the independence, just to avoid saying goodbye. God knows he loves to have you within arms reach, attached at the hip, but he doesn’t want it to be at the cost of who you are, all the things he loves and admires about you.
He wonders if there’s a reasonable solution, a compromise in the middle, one that doesn’t leave him feeling so disconnected. The video calls aren’t enough- just a reminder of the distance when he sees the sun low in the sky in your background while he still has half a day ahead of him. The voicemails he listens to after he misses your calls sting like needle pricks on fingertips. There has to be a fix. Something he can do to make it better. He’s scared you won’t be able to go on like this forever.
The hoodie you’re wearing smells like him, but your perfume and shampoo overpower the scent. You kiss his temple and he groans at the feeling, the soft press of your lips against his skin. He pushes himself up so he can reach your lips with his. He kisses you hungrily, in a way that he hopes shows how much he aches for this every second he’s gone.
You meet him eagerly, lips insistent against his. When he swipes his tongue against the seam of your mouth, you open up for him, hands dragging down his shoulders as he sighs into your mouth. He’s exhausted, too tired to make it any good, but he still finds himself rolling his hips against yours, just to feel you, just to feel something. You laugh when he bites at your lower lip, and you wrap one leg around his waist and grind upwards in a way that makes him let out a whine.
“You’re too sleepy,” you say when you break away, even as your hand is brushing over the front of his pants.
He nods, chest heaving as he mouths at your jaw. “Mhm. But I- I wanna be close. I need-“
“Yeah,” you agree. He nips at the hinge of your jaw and you throw your head back. “Please?”
The sweatpants slip easily down your hips, barely hanging on. He tugs your panties off with exhaustion-shaky hands as you shove at his own pants. He doesn’t bother pulling them all the way off, doesn’t bother getting your hoodie off, doesn’t bother with anything other than you. He slips his fingers through the wetness between your thighs, just to make sure you're ready, and groans at the feeling, at the way you arch your hips against his hand. He can’t hold back, then, can’t wait any longer. You sigh happily when he slips the head of his cock into you, and he groans into your shoulder as he pushes all the way in.
This is coming home. This is safe and warm and right where he belongs. You’re the reason he’ll never quite feel comfortable in another country, another city, another empty hotel bed. He could cry with the way the weight falls off his shoulders, the way his headache and chest pain melt away. It’s not about sex. He doesn’t even move. He just buries himself inside you, buries his face in the curve of your neck, and breathes in.
“I miss you all the time,” he tells you, hoping he can find the right words this time, the ones that make it all okay. “Every second I’m not here.”
“I know,” you say into his shoulder. “I do, too.”
He’d carry you around in his pocket if he could. But he loves the way you light up when you talk about your friends, too, or when you tell him a story about work. He won’t ask you to change who you are for him. He just needs to find a way to fit your lives back together, in a way that makes some sort of sense. He’ll figure it out.
“We’ll figure this out,” he says, eyelids feeling heavy, lips against your skin. “You and I. We’ll figure it out.”
“I know,” you say softly.
He wonders if you believe him, or if the ache is too strong right now. He’ll believe it enough for the both of you if he has to. The two of you will figure it out. He won’t accept any other possible option.
“I love you,” you say against his temple, sleep coating your voice. “So much. And I’m so proud of you.”
The last of the tension in his body melts away. Sleep is creeping up his spine. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes- tears of exhaustion and frustration and all the emotions of coming home to you.
“I love you,” he answers, closing his eyes, teetering on the edge of sleep. “More than anything, I love you.”
He falls asleep like that, face buried in your skin, with you wrapped around him in every way possible. In the morning, when the sun rises, you brush your lips against his forehead and apologize, and promise to be nicer the next time he has to leave. He tells you the truth- that he understands, that he wishes he didn’t have to go, that he wants you there with him all the time. There’s no good solution, at least not at that moment. But for now, it’ll be enough. It has to be.
He clings to you the whole time he’s home and tries not to dread the day he has to pry himself out of your grip. Then, he tries not to imagine a day where you’re not there begging him to stay. He knows which one would be worse. So when he kisses you goodbye to head for another race, when he lets go of your hand, he decides he can live with the ache in his chest and the guilt in his gut. It’s better to hate leaving you than to not have you there to leave. It’ll get easier, eventually. He’ll figure it out. He has to.
Taglist: @4-mula1 @struggling-with-delia @lovekt @i-wish-this-was-me @forzalando @iloveyou3000morgan @callsign-scully @ggaslyp1
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lovebugism · 4 months
Note
Smut request idea: Eddie worshipping reader's tits, who is insecure about their small size (lol totally not projecting 😅)
ty for requesting :D — eddie 'heart eyes' munson sees your boobs for the first time (cw for nudity, but no real smut, 18+ mdni, 1.1k)
bug's one year celebration ♡
On a rainy, post-show night, in the back of Eddie Munson’s van, you decide to be brave.
Buzzing with alcohol, adrenaline, and adoration — a wild concoction rushing like fire through your veins — you take your shirt off for the very first time in front of him. Mostly because your sweater was getting itchy, so you’re not entirely sure how brave that makes you. But your skin burns still, empty like a blank sky, yearning for a warmer touch to fall over you like stars.
In the simplest, most human way, you need Eddie to touch you like you need to breathe air. 
So, when you tugged the fuzzy sweater up and over your head, you hadn’t thought much about doing it. You were too full of need, too unthinking. Head clouded with longing until you developed something short of tunnel vision for the boy underneath you.
It wasn’t that big a deal, right? Isn’t this what girlfriends do with boyfriends?
Eddie’s silence is not reassuring. It feels more like a knife lodged in the very center of your sternum.
You lay the sweater beside you and cross your arms slowly over yourself. Equal parts to hide what you’d just revealed to him and to shield your bleeding, stinging heart.
Eddie’s face twists, pained features swirling like a hurt puppy. “Wait— What are you doing?” he asks in an unabashed whine. His less-than-subtle pout deepens as his chocolate-button eyes flit up to yours.
You keep curling in on yourself, but from where you straddle his thighs, he’s impossible to run away from. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” you wonder in a tiny voice, distantly fearful of the answer. 
You don’t have the kind of chest people put on magazines. Maybe you should’ve just kept the shirt on.
Eddie’s ringed fingers smooth around your bare waist. He realizes he’s holding you there for the very first time without any fabric covering you. His chest starts to sparkle. His thumbs rub gently at your ribcage, just below the arms still concealing yourself.
“‘Cause I’m too busy enjoying the view, honey,” he answers with a plush pink and crooked smile. His words are slightly slurred, weighed down by fatigue and desire. “How am I supposed to think when I’m looking at you, huh?”
You make a faint, grumbly noise, features scrunching in disdain at his compliment.
He smiles wider and curls his fingers around the wrists you hold over yourself. There is little force behind his touch, no eagerness to tug your hands away. Instead he just holds you, in a distinctly quiet embrace, telling you silently that you can let your guard down whenever you’re ready.
“So you don’t think they’re weird?”
He answers with an immediate scoff. “No, I don’t think they’re weird— I think they’re beautiful! I think every part of you is beautiful.”
You grow less and less tense in his hold. Your hands start to slip. You let them. 
Bare again in front of him, the boyish glimmer in Eddie’s dark eyes returns. 
The wild cadence of rain on the rusted tin roof resembles the rapid patter of his pounding heart as he ogles at you. And, with his back propped against the driver’s seat, he has the most perfect view of you.
The pale hands along your ribcage slowly start to rise. His warm touch leaves sparkling goosebumps in its wake. He doesn’t stop until his thumbs are settled neatly beneath your breasts.
“I mean— I always knew they’d be pretty, you know?” he mumbles, getting lost in you all over again. You don’t know if he’s talking to you, or if he even knows he’s rambling. “‘Cause when you’d let me feel you up, you know, over the shirt— I always imagined what you’d look like under it…”
He trails off then, forgets how to make words when his thumb rubs over your soft nipple. The gentle stimulation makes it stiffen beneath his touch. Eddie smiles to himself, all boyishly giddy.
“…But I couldn’t’ve, in my wildest imagination, expected this.”
Your chest warms with his affection. You scoff about it, anyway. “You’re such a boy,” you laugh.
“It’s not my fault you’re so pretty…” 
Still cupping your chest, Eddie leans down to kiss you there. A chaste, open-mouthed peck to your pebbled nipple. His heart swells when he hears you moan above him — your nose buried in the strands of his wild hair, fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. 
Eddie licks his rosy lips when he pulls back from you. 
“See? You’re gonna kill me one day, doll— I swear,” he teases in a joking tone, but means every bit of it. He loves you so much it makes his chest ache. You’ll give him a goddamn heart attack one day if he’s not careful. “Can’t believe you’ve been hiding from me this whole time…”
You’re not sure either, now. 
“I was just scared that… I don’t know,” you stammer, clammy hands fidgetting with his intentionally tattered Corroded Coffin t-shirt. You’d helped him cut rips into the white fabric before the show. You distract yourself with the pink lipstick smudge you’d pressed along the neck of it, rubbing hopelessly at a stain that’ll never come off. 
“I was scared that you’d think I was less pretty or something. I don’t know.”
“No,” Eddie recoils immediately, face twisting in abhorrence of the thought. He shakes his wild head at you. “No way. That’s not possible. I think you’re fucking— perfect. And I think that…”
His eyes fall to your chest again. He loses the rest of his words.
A smile blossoms on your face. You don’t think you’ve ever felt prettier than you do right now.
“You think that what?” you tease, hands rising again to twist in his deep brown curls.
Eddie’s button eyes flit back up to you. His ringed hands lift to cup your breasts in his wide palms. They fit just perfect in his hands — like he was made to hold you there. The width of his beam rivals your own. 
“That I just found Corroded Coffin’s next album cover,” he answers.
The sound of your laughter fills the van. Sunshine compared to the rolling rain outside.
“No. No way. That’s not happening,” you refuse, still smiling, as Eddie leans into you again.
You wrap your arms around his neck when he puts his mouth on you. He buries his own laughter against the plush of your breast — along with so many little kisses. 
He doesn’t mind your light-hearted rejection. The only thing Eddie likes more than showing you off is keeping you totally to himself.
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screampied · 4 months
Note
can we get a jealous toji drabble pretty pls with a cherry on top 🙏
꒰  warnings . . fem!reader, ex bf toji, mdni.
Tumblr media
imagine a jealous!toji who’s obsessed with you, he doesn’t know how to move on—and it makes his jaw tightens at seeing you move on and not him.
he’d spam your phone with numerous voicemails, and they’d last minutes long. he’d just talk and talk. about how much he misses you, your touch, and the way he always knew how to make your back arch of course.
“hey. sooo you two are like a thing now?” he’d gruff, his tone sounded faux, but it was sheer amusement each second he spoke. “i saw you posting about him. good for you though, that’s good. fuckin’ good.”
you could tell he was jealous judging from his tone, his breathing against the phone. how rough and jagged it was. there’d be dramatic pauses time and time again before he speaks again, before out of nowhere he’d say something slick like. “does he fuck like me…?” and a low guffaw would leave his throat, but he genuinely sounded like he wanted to know—of course, it wasn’t a phone call, so you couldn’t reply. he knew that. “he looks like he’s never touched a woman. bet ya fake y’er orgasms for him, girl.”
the more toji spoke, the more jealousy and bitterness dripped from his tone, you could just imagine his expression.
the way his darkened eyebrows would part together in frustration, yet that same sly smirk would press against his lips.
“i miss you baby,” he breathes, and he’d start rambling through the other line—such filthy words leaving his mouth, “miss tasting you. miss the way i’d just have ya sit on my face for hours, makin' y’er cute legs go all limp, and when i’m finished i give you a little kiss on your mouth so you can taste how fuckin’ wet you were.. all on my tongue.”
his tone was raspy and deep, a low kind that was enough to make you squeeze your legs together tightly.
toji being a jealous ex-boyfriend, was definitely something—he could never stop loving you. after all, he was always one with a bit of attachment issues.
“but i am happy for you,” he hums against the phone. “kidding, that was a lie. but part of me wonders you’re probably playin’ with yourself right now to my voice. ‘coz your lil’ boy toy doesn’t know how to take care of you like i can, baby. y’know i’m only just one phone call away.”
he sounded so sure of himself—you could practically see the annoying grin plaster on his lips. “we were just together two weeks ago, don’t you remember that? you even left your pretty panties over here like a dumb girl,” and then he chuckles. “…this your way of leaving something to remember you by? y’er nastier than i thought, doll.”
each second before it ends, he’d always end the recording with a, “i love you baby girl. he doesn’t. but like i said, i am happy for you. i’ll see you later tonight.”
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wicchyy · 4 months
Text
—0.3 boundary less ; james potter
sum: you and James are best friends. right? /bestfriend!James
warnings: none rly
notes: i fully believe in being best friends with james yall will not have boundaries
You’ve been friends with James Potter for as long as you can remember. Since you were in diapers, perhaps. You’d bathe and splash around in the bath with him when you were younger. Your mums were close and you’d spend almost every holiday with the Potter family. It wasn’t a strange thing for you to be seen with James after all. You’d already been apart of James’ life since day one. You knew the marauders of course, the rest of them. But you chose not to be apart of their group, deciding that they could have their own fun of pranks and troublesome adventures.
You however always sat on the couch late at night, when the boys were out doing something you’d prefer not to take part in. Then when the clock struck midnight, they’d come inside with their hushed voices and footsteps trying not to alert anyone. But you would always be there to see none other than James.
If he’d been hurt or in need of a good night hug, you’d wait just a while before your bedtime to see his face. At least if you wanted your morning the next day to be a pleasant one. He was your best friend, your lucky charm, your favorite person.
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter stepped inside the commons just to see your usual presence. But this time you weren’t practicing your charms or reading a muggle book. You were tucked in nicely with a big knit blanket, hair splayed on the pillows, snug in James’ warm quidditch sweater.
“I’m heading straight to bed, boys. Absolutely knackered.” Peter whispered, patting Remus on the back and saying his goodbyes quickly.
The other joined you on the couch. Remus grabbing the book from the floor, clearly after your use. He settled on the single chair beside you and Sirius quickly joined him, planting his arse on the floor and leaning against his boyfriend’s feet. They knew James’ routine so well, knowing he’d want to spend the few moment with you and waiting up for him.
James made his few steps toward you, brushing stray hairs from your face before blowing at it. He knew it was just the thing to wake you up. Your eyes fluttered immediately, waking up to seeing James Potter’s pretty face. It certainly was a way to wake you up.
“Jamie!” You slapped his chest, straightening up your body and rubbing sleep away from your eyes. James took his place comfortable beside you, placing your foot atop his lap and smiling softly at you.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He replied, “You sure y’not tired? I’ll take you up upstairs if you are.” James always had a way of making your heart beat faster with the way he expressed his care.
“I’m quite fine. I was waiting for you guys, y’know.” You sighed softly, leaning back comfortably.
“Missed you darlin’, your loverboy here has decided on some new pranks we’d like to put in action next week.” Remus chimed from behind you.
“Mm. Remind me again, Y/n. Why aren’t you ever present for our wonderful tricks?” Sirius says in his tired tone.
James chuckles, answering for you. “Because, Pads, she’s a good girl.” He pats your knee.
You smiled at your best friend, “Yes, Jamie. I am. But also, because I prefer the solitude of the commons rather than running around and creating trouble around the castle.”
“Mhm. I thought your preferred solitude was with me.” James smiles.
You retracted your legs from his lap and changed your position to sit beside him. Thighs touching, warmth immediately radiating off him and you were impatient for him to wrap his arms around you. James took your change of position as a sign to immediately circle his arm around your shoulders. “Certainly one of my favorite.”
Remus simply smiles at you while Sirius rolls his eyes. They’ve become used to this behavior by now. The absence of boundaries between you and James’ friendship was somewhat of a regular routine for their eyes.
James dips his head at the curve of your neck, his nose prodding at your soft skin. You can feel his mouth curving up to form a smile. James breathes out a soft sigh, the feeling causing shivers all over your skin. “You smell nice, sweetheart.” He lays his head on your shoulder and your hand starts to mess with his curls.
The intimacy of this— of your friendship, was something you’d always treasure between you two. You’ve been chastised by Sirius many times as he’s told you about the attachment you and James have. How both of you had been unable to secure a significant other as you played the part well in looking so.
“Wearing your sweater, so technically you smell nice.”
“Mm, no. ‘S just you, honey.”
You laughed lightly, your fingers still messing around with his hair. He loved it as well as you.
“Oi, can you both just get it over with? Go get a room and snog or some—“ Sirius complains.
“What Pads means is that perhaps we should bid you goodnight now. He’s quite tired.” Remus cuts in, pulling at Sirius’ shoulder and getting him to stand up.
Sirius starts, but hes quickly being pulled up the staircase by Remus. “What—? That’s not what I mean, Moons.”
James waves his friends off, relaxing now that no one ought to judge him for the version of himself when he’s with you.
“Christ, I never want to leave from your arms.” James flirts.
Your fingers stop messing with his curls, but instead grabs at the arm he has around your shoulders and pulls his face closer. You set his head on your lap, his face gazing up at you.
“Sorry, Jamie. Y’know how you make my lap warm.”
James just smiles softly up at you, taking your hands to both of his cheeks. He likes the warmth of your palms that have been lying beneath the blankets and near the fireplace. “Missed you today, sweetheart.”
“You always miss me, Jamesie.”
He smiles with his perfect lips, pouting like a baby knowing that you find his ridiculous look adoring. “True. However, I only have one class with you on Fridays and I have clubs the whole day after. And I promised the boys I’d discuss forward our plan today.”
“Too occupied to see me, hm?”
“Never. I truly am sorry, honey.”
You pinched his cheeks lightly, glancing just barely at his plump lips you so badly want to kiss. “You only have time for me when it’s late, James?”
“Oh, come on. You know it’s our time when it’s late.”
True. Nights like these were reserved for you and James only. And you wouldn’t have it any other way, truly.
“I guess I can accept your apology. With only one more request.”
James smiles up at you. “Stay at my dorm tonight?”
“Obviously.” You laughed, tracing James’ soft skin with your fingertips. “I’ve got my period today, need your aiding cuddles.”
“Course, sweetheart. I’ve always got ya, haven’t I?”
James positions his body to sit up and he places a quick, featherlight kiss on your cheek. He stands up from the place in your lap. “Come on now, up you go honey. Much warmer in my dorm.”
You grab his hand and intertwine them, standing up as James envelops you on his arms.
You’d never need anyone else if you would always have James with you, just like this.
💌 thanks for reading lovie! support me by reblogging <3
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nereidprinc3ss · 24 days
Text
come on home
in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid
inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers
wc 2857
warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending
a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3
She hung up on you. 
Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after you’d called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel word—just for your mother to hang up on you. And it’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do, so you shouldn’t be surprised. An ache, you’d expect—but it shouldn’t sting like this. You thought you knew better. 
Now you’re in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. There’s no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the evening—which is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, you’re sure that’s the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. They’d even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person you’re about to run to for comfort, either. 
You try to pretend, while you’re thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isn’t on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you don’t care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dust—the end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and you’re friendly, but you haven’t texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts.  
So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truth—when your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you don’t regret it.  
What you’re not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring. 
“Hi,” you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. There’s a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if that’s what he wants. As long as he’s there. 
“Hi.” Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a question—and you’d like to hear him speak again. “...am I allowed to ask if you’re okay?” 
Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that you’re distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows. 
“No. Yes. I mean... I guess that’s why I called you. But you don’t have to ask me about it.” You sniff again and take a deep breath. “How was your day? What state are you in?” 
“I’m in the district,” he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesn’t feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. “My day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.” 
You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside. 
“Nice, nice. What else?” 
“Let’s see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of Thrones—I don’t know why I did that. I’m never going to like that book.” 
“Masochist,” you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening. 
“Oh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.” 
A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. It’s not what you meant to do, and out of context it’s sort of mean, but you actually think it’s incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself. 
“I swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.” 
“No, no, that’s not... I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or your mom. That’s really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.” 
When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice. 
“I will.” Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversation—instead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. “Do I get to find out what’s on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?”  
You bite the inside of your cheek. 
“Um... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didn’t go so well,” you laugh halfheartedly, “I know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.” 
“Why’d you call your mom?” he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice. 
“Mm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.” 
Spencer’s knowing sigh does little to make you feel better. 
“You know you can always talk to me, right? I know it’s... it’s different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.” 
Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry. 
“I appreciate that, but I can’t talk to you about everything.” 
“Why not?” he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like it’s his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anyway—choked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless. 
“Because I’m trying really hard to stop missing you so much.” 
Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollow—a cage for your hummingbird heart. 
“If it hurts too much to talk to me, you don’t need to do that to yourself. But I also don’t want you to hurt yourself thinking you’re alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I can—whether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.” 
Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress you’d been pretending to make. You can be strong—you've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it won’t hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, they’ll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you can’t undo the damage, maybe one day you’ll be soft again. 
“What if I vaguely want you right now?” you sniffle. 
Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life. 
“Then I’m on my way.” 
Twenty four minutes later, there’s a soft knock at your door.  
After the call had ended, you’d wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasn’t actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone you’ve grieved for can’t just come back—there are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime. 
You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. It’s a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you can’t seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and he’s perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you don’t have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door.  
“Sweetheart...” he sighs, because you can’t hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant you’re rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. It’s terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. “What’s wrong? What did she say?” 
You shake your head and gasp a small sob. 
Truthfully, you’re not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. You’re back to square one, the reason you’d called your mother to begin with—you miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders. 
His hand smooths over the back of your hair. 
“Okay. That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.” 
You stay like that—content even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels right—or perhaps it’s just familiar. You don’t know which is worse.  
Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chuckling—it vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear. 
“Nice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.” 
“Are you gonna ask for it back?” you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting you’d more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really don’t want him to take it home. It’s the most overt Spencer memorabilia you’d allowed yourself to keep in plain sight. 
“No, baby. You can keep it.” The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you can’t seem to get him close enough. “What can I do?” he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. “Can I make you tea? Have you eaten?” 
“Will you just... stay for a little bit? I’ll—I promise I’ll stop crying.” 
There is an unexpected lull where you thought you’d receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask what’s wrong, he murmurs, “yeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.” 
You wonder if you’re imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You don’t mention it—it all boils down to the same unspoken idea. 
Don’t let me stay, because I might not leave. 
“I will,” you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know he’s not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end.  
At least, until he goes home. 
Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time you’d had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldn’t last. There had been one or two false bottoms already—the first when you’d yawned around nine, and the second when you’d gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then he’d just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course he’d insisted on helping you clean up. 
“I should go,” he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice.  
“Is your carriage turning into a pumpkin?” you tease gently, to hide how much you don’t want him to leave. He smiles—a small, weary thing—but genuinely and endlessly charmed by you. 
“That among other things.” 
“Would you—would you walk me to my room first?” 
The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, but you're sure he’s really going to leave in a moment and you’re also sure he won’t deny you this one small thing before he does. 
“Okay.” 
It’s a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him.  
“Thanks,” you murmur.  
His lips pull into a melancholy smile. 
“Anytime.” 
There’s nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as he’ll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are.  
But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like you’d thought you never would again. It seems he’s doing the same—losing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close. 
“Will you kiss me goodnight?” you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know it’s a fool’s errand. Spencer strokes your waist. 
“I can’t do that, honey.” 
“Why not?” 
His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently. 
“Because we’re not together anymore.” 
“Why not?” 
Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. You’re not proud, but you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But it’s like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, that’s just how it is. 
Spencer’s eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down. 
“We can’t do this again, sweetheart. You know why we’re not together.” 
In theory—yes. You’d had so many conversations when you’d broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away again—the words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.
“But I don’t think I’m getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder and—and we weren’t sure about it then, and I don’t think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. I’m—it’s not getting better without you. Nothing got better.” 
He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. You’re breathless and your heart is pounding after your confession—you can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke. 
“Everything is worse,” he agrees shakily. “Everything. I’m—I’m getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like I’m a child because I can’t focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.” 
You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until he’s yours again. 
“Then come back. Please come back, Spencer.” 
Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales. 
“I don’t think I knew how to leave in the first place.” 
When he kisses you, it feels like home. 
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augustinewrites · 8 months
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repost of an old drabble bcs shibuya arc is starting and i am thinking of nanami (head in hands sobbing)
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“that was reckless of you. dangerous, even.”
nanami’s tone is firm yet gentle, but you recognize a reprimand when you hear one.
“i’m fine,” you insist, even as you lift the hem of your shirt to press the cloth to the edges of the cut on your side. it’s shallow, thankfully, but everytime you turn you know it’s going to sting. “isn’t that all that matters at the end of the day?”
“you very well could not have been.” there’s a vein of irritation lacing his voice, you aren’t sure if it’s directed at you or the situation, but it puts you on edge.
shifting a little on the countertop, you twist the tap on to run your cloth under cool water again. “yeah, well, the chances of me dying were low, anyway.”
“low, but not zero,” he says shortly, placing the first aid kit beside you. “if you’d just let me—”
“let you what, kento?” you snap, wringing the pink-tinged cloth over the sink. you can’t exactly blame him for being worried. shallow as the wound may be, the amount of blood that’s soaked through your shirt made it look a lot worse than it actually felt. “let you die?”
the straight line his mouth is pressed in twitches into a grimace. “that’s not the point.”
“you would have done the same for me, right?”
he doesn’t hesitate when he says, “of course.”
“then that’s the point,” you counter. “you look out for me, i look out for you. i don’t regret what i did.”
a frustrated sigh slips past his lips, and you hiss slightly as you press the cloth to the cut once more, trying to clean up the last of the blood. you’ll have to patch it up as best you can before going to see shoko, lest you bleed out on the way there.
you’re reaching for the first aid kit when nanami catches your wrist. his expression is hard to read as ever, but he’s watching you carefully, meeting your gaze with a hesitance that’s unlike him.
“it would be easier if i did it.”
wordlessly, you nod and let him take the cloth from you. nanami quietly moves to your side, letting you hold onto his shoulder while he lightly dabs at the edges of the cut. he does it so carefully, hands moving deftly and efficiently as he cleans up the mess on your skin, apologizing softly whenever you so much as wince.
you wonder, briefly, if this is the same man you know as the 7:3 sorcerer. as a fighter, he’s cold, ruthless. you’ve seen him slice through curses with the ease of a hot knife going through butter. you’ve seen him put his fist through the thickest of concrete, perform a black flash four consecutive times.
but this man, this torrential force of jujutsu sorcery, handles you so tenderly. delicately. as if he’s afraid you’ll shatter in his grasp.
“you shouldn’t do that again,” he murmurs as he cuts a strip of gauze and a few pieces of medical tape.
“almost get my side split open by a curse?” you chuckle. “i don’t plan to, no.”
his lips turn down into a frown as he carefully smooths the gauze onto your cut. “don’t sacrifice yourself like that for me. please.”
the playful smile on your face is quick to fade. “sacrifice? i took a blow i knew would be non-lethal.”
he shakes his head, pulling back to let your hand fall from his shoulder. “non-lethal this time, but what if there’s a next time? you shouldn’t risk your life to make up for my own shortcomings as a sorcerer. if i lost you–”
your brows raise when he cuts himself off, clearing his throat and trying again. “if the school lost you, it’d be rather unfortunate.”
“for the school?” you repeat.
he shrugs as he begins packing away the supplies. “they’d be stuck with gojo as their sole teacher.” there’s a blush bleeding past the collar of your his as he averts his gaze, and for some reason, it makes you smile.
“well, we don’t want that, do we?” you ask softly, slipping off the counter and patting his bicep. “come on, i’m going to need a ride to the school to see shoko.”
nanami just nods, his hand automatically moving to your lower back, gently guiding you out the door.
“gojo isn’t that bad of a teacher,” you say off-handedly.
his gaze briefly flicks to yours, as if to check if you’re serious.
you can’t hold back the laughter fighting its way up your throat, and nanami cracks an amused grin, chuckling, “i didn’t believe you for a second. handling him without you is…taxing.”
you nudge him slightly. “so you admit you need me, huh?”
the hand on your back circles around your waist, carefully pulling you closer. “more than you know.”
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bigfatbimbo · 1 month
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saw ur post ab the vees and i wasn't sure if u wanted nsfw rambles or sfw rambles so like... i'll send the sfw rambles in a separate ask 😭
anywaysss im thinking ab putting them all in their place.... maybe they're all arguing over you or being pissy to eachother in general so you punish them all- seperately ofc, u cant have them getting off in eachothers pleasure bc ik damn well they'd be into watching you fuck someone else especially another one of the vees
i am always willing to rant about the vees🙏🙏🙏
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summary — The Vees being humbled by the reader in the form of loose, unprofessional headcanons and vague thoughts.
warnings — dom reader, sub… everyone else, very messy, not proofread, read at the risk of incoherence
a/n — I HATE THEM SO MUCH!! THEY’RE THE WORST!! Let’s as a society fuck them to tears.
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So, unpopular opinion, I’ve see a few ideas of being the vees collective lay or ‘plaything’ fucktoy, and the idea is so much more fun with a dom reader.
And i’m saying that objectively too, like not just as a dom reader blog. Because these are three people who make up the worst aspects of society, and lowkey are basically just manipulation tactics personified. Propaganda the trio!
Looking at these cocky assholes, who are the embodiment of what is considered terrible people, and who all have unmatched mathematically impossibly high egos, would it just be so fun to fuck the pride out of them?
Especially, for example, let’s say you’re around a lot and you’ve become a trusted person a good fuck for the Vees. They all have terrible attention seeking tendencies, so it would be safe to assume they’d be all over you.
Vox would be trying to talk to you about whatever particular subject he thinks is most interesting (about himself) to capture your attention, while Velvette would be close to you as well, flicking her phone your direction to show you something she finds funny or hot, but mainly as a subtle power-play to get your attention off Vox and onto her.
Valentino would be much less subtle, of course, by nature. He’d be all up around you, touching you, running his hands along your shoulder blades as he walks past, and probably the type to ‘drop something’ and bend over to flash you his fishnets and panties.
Needless to say, they’re all pissing each other off immensely. Obviously, being short tempered people, this leads to an argument because Velvette was ‘talking to you first’ but Vox had ‘actually important things to say’ and according to Valentino ‘the two of you were boring them out of their minds’ and he had to ‘spice your day up.’
Unfortunately for the Vees, you don’t do your one ‘job.’ Your attention isn’t given to any one of them. Yet. You just simply sit on the couch, scrolling through your phone and flicking through channels. Maybe you even actually leave the tower and go eat out or something.
Of course, until later when you pick them off one by one. And no matter who you decide to fuck senseless first, they will be so obviously loud just to be petty because, after all, you did choose them first. Like they would be being obnoxiously vocal about how ‘full they are’ or how ‘you’re going so fast!’ or some other fake shit like that. It’s honestly a whole show. Now, I feel like fucking all of them at the same time is kind of inevitable, because they’re all deprived horny freaks on the lowkey. (Except for Val it’s very highkey.) But I think there would be little mannerisms that appear on one on one sessions that they would NEVER show during a foursome. For example, Vox’s certain… titles he uses. mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink. Because he would literally die before calling you mommy or daddy in front of Velvette or Val. It’s okay when it’s just you because it’d be easier to be vulnerable around someone he trusts to set his dominance fully aside for.
And like, yeah, the other Vees know he gets fucked just like the rest of them, but it’s simpler for him to keep his illusion of dominance and respect out side of the bedroom, if the more shamefully submissive aspects of himself stayed hidden.
Also, I think Valentinos would have an easier time actually giving into to subbing during one on one sessions. Like yes, he does sub when it’s with you all the time. That’s the point of the fic.
But he’s less of a power bottom, and his flirtatious, incredibly disgusting remarks subside much faster into whimpers and whining.
Because, although less professional than Vox, he does still have an image. And when it’s just you fucking him, his vile horny comments disappear into whines for your attention in no time. Well actually a lot of time, but the point is that they actually do. And similar to Valentinos, Velvette’s confidence when bottoming alone with you is increasingly less apparent. Yea, she’s still bossy and definitely a power bottom, but there’s more of a recognition that she isn’t in charge. Honestly, she’s such a princess I think she’d actually have a very hard time going into subspace, even when alone. Because degradation just pisses her off. Why aren’t you worshipping her like you should be? But then it’s, what the fuck, why aren’t you worshiping her like you should be?? It makes her brat out even harder, which she does show in front of the other Vees, until she’s actually just needy to be pleased and given pleasure, making her twice as whiny. That aspect she does not show in front of the vees. But let’s talk about group sex with the Vees. Probably only used as a severe punishment, or a surprisingly giving reward. I have a very particular scene for the severe punishment aspect, however. So they’ve all been bad, but let’s say, for the sake of specifics to set the scene, Val has been worse. It is still a punishment for Vox and Velvette, but punishing them all to the same extent when Val has misbehaved clearly more would be wrong, would it not? They’re all greedy, selfish assholes, so you’ve concocted the perfect form of torture for your useless brats; they don’t receive anything until they’re good. Especially Val. Velvette has a strap on, so she can’t even feel anything but minor friction when you slide your worked open ass onto the plastic dick and open your legs, exposing your empty pussy to none other than Vox. He eats you out reluctantly, while rutting into the mattress as fast as he could, all while you cockwarm (and sometimes roll your hips to press the strap against her pussy uncomfortably) Velvette. Oh, and where’s Valentino? Tied up in a chair in front of the bed, getting a perfect shot while being totally naked and hard. You have a gag in his mouth too, because otherwise he’d be complaining the whole time. Because that’s just not fair, is it? He does this all day for a living. Seriously, he watches people fuck all day. It was his turn to feel something! And you would only have punished him more if he’d done something about this at work today. (Yikes..) I mean, this sounds like complete and utter bullshit. A lose-lose situation! But, it actually is completely fair. And as you’re receiving all the pleasure, from Velvettes feelingless, fake dick, Vox’s tongue while he humps the bed pathetically, and Val’s whines in complaint, you know the punishment is working. You’ve bothered them behind belief, you’ve hit a spot you knew would leave a message. Because none of the attention is on our poor little trio at all. These naturally selfish, greedy people, have to finally give. And god, they’re becoming more desperate for your attention and praise by the second.
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a/n — We all know I love sub Vox. But this opened by eyes to how much I love sub Velvette and Valentino. REQUEST THEM ALL MORE.
Also, Rose, I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU FOR A FIRE ASF PROMPT.
if this flops im throwing myself out of a window btw
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