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beauty-and-passion · 7 months

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Selfishness v. Selflessness: Deceit’s reasons

And then, we finally reached the last episode of Sanders Sides.

Or what was the last official episode, until recently Mr. Sanders finally realized that hey, the Asides are following the main plot, maybe it’s time to consider them official episodes and not Asides.

And so, he changed the titles. If you check FWSA and DWIT now, you will find that their names are not followed by the title “Sanders Asides” anymore, but “Sanders Sides”.

While the infamous plushie episode which angered everyone because it was nothing more than an ad, magically became and Aside episode:

What can I say? Better late than ever, Mr. Sanders. This wouldn’t have happened at all if you planned everything from the start, you know that, right?

Oh, and in case you haven’t noticed: maybe you should also take FWSA and DWIT away from the Sanders Asides playlist. You know, just to keep it organized.

But let’s come back to Selfishness v. Selflessness: this was the first episode I ever wrote about - even if at the time it wasn’t a full analysis, but rather just some random, scattered thoughts. And they weren’t enough, because there is still a lot of stuff to talk about! Hence why, this post was needed.

This post will clarify a couple things I previously talked about, starting from the whole Wroammin thing which (sadly) turned out to be wrong. It can even be considered part of a triptych: THIS is the first part, THIS is the second one and the post you’re reading is the third and final part. Hope you will enjoy it and, as always, if you have anything else to add feel free to do it.

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Why did Deceit appear?

[Logan]: -pops up- Eh... Speaking for someone is a disagreeable practice, Patton. If Thomas would rather go to the wedding, then I, the brilliant Logan, think we should hear it straight from the horse's mouth. Thomas, the floor is yours. Wedding or callback?

My gosh, this man isn’t even trying. First, he drops a character lie (“I, the brilliant Logan”) which is the exact same kind of lie he used the first time. Then he uses two idioms in a row. And scolds Patton in the meantime (“Speaking for someone is a disagreeable practice, Patton”).

I suppose he just wanted to appear, but he couldn’t do it without being ✨ dramatique ✨

But now your question could be: why did he appear? Well, as I anticipated in the analysis of CLBG, Mr. Sanders explained in a tweet that Character!Thomas’ relationship with Lee and Mary Lee is as strong as the one with Joan. Once again, a very strong relationship is at risk. And, this time, there’s also an event that might bring a major change in Thomas’ life. Everything basically requested Deceit’s presence.

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The dark sides are all anime tsundere girls

[Deceit]: Virgil's very right. You can't trust me! It's not like I'm trying to look out for you or anything.

[Anxiety]: He thinks he’s so great. Well, he is not! Look, I’m just trying to look out for him. (Taking on ANXIETY)

Okay, jeez, fine, you definitely don’t know each other and you’re definitely not father and son. That’s all a huge coincidence, I surely believe that.

Now I can’t wait to see Orange saying: “it’s not like I’m looking out for you, baka!” to Thomas, then I can close everything and disappear forever 😂

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“He's against Nazis”

[Thomas]: ... Alright, he can stay. [Patton]: Hm? [Roman]: -incredulous laughter- Ah, wait, seriously? [Thomas]: Sounds like he's against Nazis, so... Why not hear him out? You know? [Virgil]: That... cannot be where the bar is!

I just love this part too much and it cracks me up everything. Remember, kids: you can be a snek, but if you’re against nazis, then everything is okay. I can’t wait for the moment Thomas will try to send Remus and Orange away, only for them to reply that, hey, they’re against Nazis too, so they deserve to stay! And Thomas will let them stay.

And then we will reach the lowest bar in the world and everything will be perfect.

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“Social engagement”

[Deceit]: Well, the bar for skipping an important opportunity should be higher than a... social engagement. [Patton]: Come on, a wedding is more than just a social engagement! [Virgil]: He knows that.

Of course he knows that, he bears the name of a god who presides over weddings. Which yes, it’s hilarious and I love it.

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Same area of expertise

[Patton]: What is this wacky talk? I- You don't mean any of this. I'm your morality, I wouldn't be here if you did! [Thomas]: Right, right. Yeah, you're right. I- I don't mean that. [Patton]: And Roman, I thought you fought for honor! Why are you pushing Thomas to be dishonest?

Deceit knows what Thomas truly wants and it’s to go to the wedding. However, two sentences from Patton were enough to make him understand that:

Patton is the one who is truly in charge

Patton’s ideas are strong enough to influence Thomas

Thomas could change his mind because of them

Roman desperately wants to go to the wedding

Roman could change his mind because of Patton

And so, Deceit intervenes and makes Patton aware of something: sure his presence means Thomas still thinks about his morals… but he’s not the only one here:

[Deceit]: Do you know who else is here? Me! So perhaps, Thomas... isn't so innocent. [Patton]: Well... Nobody's perfect... Except for Thomas! He loves his friends! [Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

And with this, Deceit:

proved he’s Thomas’ Side and not a random guy. He is a Side, just like all of them and he won’t go anywhere.

brought up the problem that will be solved in POF - i.e. Patton’s view of Thomas as a perfect, innocent boy.

moved the entire problem to a higher, moral level. This isn’t just a “choosing wedding or callback” problem anymore: this is Deceit’s way to prove Thomas’ fallibility and humanity.

And he wants to prove it to Patton. And if Thomas is confused about all of this, Patton is not:

[Thomas]: Um, I'm a little confused as to what this is all about. [Patton]: Basically, Deceit is trying to prove that you care more about yourself than your friends, but don't worry, kiddo, we'll show him.

Again: the supposedly stupid guy immediately understood what Deceit was trying to prove and followed him in his reasoning. Because, in case it wasn’t clear enough, these two work in the same area of expertise.

And if you need another confirmation that these two are a lot more similar than it seems:

[Deceit]: He's clearly manipulating the witness into doing what he thinks is best. Wait a minute. Who was it that was called a Scooby-Doo villain for doing the exact same thing? Oh, yeah! It was me... disguised as Patton.

So not only Deceit confirmed Patton isn’t perfect, but they are similar enough, he can do what Patton does and there would be no difference.

These two work in the same field and they’ve been hinting it here all the time, before clearly stating it in POF.

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Multiple arms

I forgot about this detail and thought that the multiple arms thing Remus brought up was a metaphor. Well… maybe it wasn’t. Maybe the noodle snek really has six arms.

This goddamn man, he really has one arm for each Side. And he probably uses them to smack the Sides in the head/stop them from doing something stupid. I love him.

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An attempt at maturity

[Thomas]: And that's what you stand for. Truth. [Patton]: But I don't know what's true at this point. I just know what I want to be true. I want to believe you're an honest person... but... Deceit's right! He's here... and that means something. [Thomas]: Are you serious? I- I've been following your lead this whole time. I'm in the dark here, Patton, and I need something to light my way! [Patton]: I'm sorry... b-but... I don't know the way. [Thomas]: I don't want to be a bad person. [Patton]: Okay, then I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're not.

Do you know what is this? This is the moment that led to POF.

Patton was getting Deceit’s message. He was starting to understand Thomas isn’t perfect. He even admitted he didn’t know the answer.

But Thomas was too scared, too afraid of being seen as a bad person. And so, Patton had a choice: to side with Deceit, accept that his morals have been too extreme and guide Thomas by giving him a more mature, multifaceted understanding… or doing POF:

[Patton]: Like I told you before, sometimes... I don't know the way. But... When I told you that, you were so scared. I couldn't bear it. So I said to myself... "Alright, Patton. Thomas needs you. You're responsible for his morality. You can never not have an answer for him." And then I promised you I'd keep fighting. Unfortunately... I learned the hard way that... giving too simple of answers to complicated questions... can do more harm than good.

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Virgil’s interrogation

[Deceit]: -chuckles- Very well. As Thomas' anxiety, do you have any relevant information about his norepinephrine levels in regards to these two conflicting commitments?

I’m pretty sure someone already said something about this hormone back when the episode came out, but I don’t remember - also, I found this very interesting paragraph from Wikipedia I would like to share:

“The general function of norepinephrine is to mobilize the brain and body for action. Norepinephrine release is lowest during sleep, rises during wakefulness, and reaches much higher levels during situations of stress or danger, in the so-called fight-or-flight response. In the brain, norepinephrine increases arousal and alertness, promotes vigilance, enhances formation and retrieval of memory, and focuses attention; it also increases restlessness and anxiety.”

As you can see, Virgil’s two main functions are both involved in this hormone. And norepinephrine has a spike during stressful situations - like, you know, choosing between a callback or a wedding.

But the mention of this particular hormone implies something else. Something very important, that will connect with the second part of this conversation.

Deceit mentioned an incredibly specific hormone and, by doing that, he proved how well he knows Virgil. He doesn’t know just his roles, but even the effects he has on a chemical level. It’s a bit like the difference between knowing your colleague from their job and knowing how many miles they can run on the weekends. It implies a much closer relationship.

Also, since he asked how high the levels of norepinephrine are, that means he knows Virgil is stressed. He knows this situation makes him more anxious and, with his questions, he wants to prove to Virgil (and to everyone else) that he is anxious because he knows what Thomas wants: to skip the wedding and go to the callback.

[Virgil]: I think it's ridiculous that anyone is entertaining any of this. Guys, he's a liar. You literally know him as Deceit. [Deceit]: Glass houses, Virgil. You yourself said that you are not a beacon of truth.

The famous “You literally know him as Deceit” line is a clear reply to Deceit’s question about norepinephrine. It’s Virgil’s way to say that yes, he knows him extremely well too. The others “know him as Deceit”, but he knows Deceit for who he is.

And, okay, now that’s probably me looking too much into things again, but the way Deceit replied by saying that he’s not always right and shaking his finger… it’s almost like a warning. A (maybe unconscious) way to say to Virgil to not reveal more, because he’s not always right.

And to further prove his point, he proceeds with a subtle threat:

[Deceit]: Oh, so you've never been reluctant to share anything with the group, then? [Virgil]: Don't. [Deceit]: What? I just meant your name. [Virgil]: Don't! [Deceit]: Maybe that's why it's so easy for you to recognize me for what I am. Like I said before... it takes a liar to know a liar.

And with that, Deceit proved to Virgil that:

He knows what he’s hiding from the group (i.e. that he was one of the Others)

He knows him extremely well, because he knows Virgil doesn’t want to talk about it yet

He has the upper hand, because if Virgil says something, he can immediately drop his secret and screw Virgil’s position in Thomas’ eyes.

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An unexpected help

So, after threatening his son and showing how much of a villain Deceit can be, what does Patton do?

He pushes him to show his soft side, by forcing him to reveal his agenda.

[Patton]: You... always seem to have some... bigger plan. Some... agenda. [Deceit]: Doesn't everyone? [Patton]: Well, not everyone is so secretive... about theirs. [Deceit]: Everything has a purpose, and sometimes fulfilling your purpose requires keeping things close to the chest. [Patton]: Well, you're under oath, which I think means you gotta tell us. Why the courtroom scenario? Why pick a setting where... uh, the truth comes to hang out?

As soon as Patton had the chance to ask him a question, he immediately ignored the wedding/callback thing and went straight to the point. And it makes sense, because the point of their conversation is a bit more important than a single choice.

Patton wants to know what this Side is trying to do. And when Deceit brought the conversation to a higher level by talking about society, Patton brought him back to the main topic: Thomas. What does Deceit want to do with Thomas?

And by forcing him to be a little more honest, Patton helped him. He helped Deceit to drop some of his convoluted plans, to clearly say he cares about Thomas.

[Patton]: Okay... What does any of this have to do with Thomas? [Deceit]: I don't want Thomas to be disadvantaged in a world where you can die for not following the laws made in the name of a lie.

That’s why I always say Patton is incredibly mature. He’s working against Deceit, they are literally against each other in this courtroom scenario… and yet, he helped him. He gave him a chance to show his soft side, to prove he’s not a bad guy. And to tell how useful he can be! A bit like “an inner coach that acts with the intention of self-preservation”, as Patton said in CLBG.

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Always and forever on Thomas' side

[Deceit]: Look, the point is, Thomas is an unconscious egoist and this dilemma is actually between something that serves him versus something else that serves him. Between looking and feeling like a good friend and a dream come true. If Thomas wanted to be seen as a good friend more than he wanted the role of a lifetime, well then I'm all for that. But I just don't buy it.

This part is extremely interesting, because Deceit said both choices are something Thomas wants. From one side, there’s personal gratification (Thomas wanting to be a good friend), from the other there’s personal fulfillment (Thomas doing something he loves). They are both selfish wants, in a way. So, if all Deceit cared about were selfish wants, he would have no problem with them. This whole courtroom scenario wouldn’t take place at all.

Be he has a problem because he wants what Thomas wants. And since Thomas is denying his want to do a different thing… well, that required Deceit’s intervention. As he said: if Thomas wanted to go to the wedding, he would’ve accepted that choice. He doesn’t care about Lee’s feelings, just like he didn’t care about Joan’s feelings in CLBG. The only feelings that matter for Deceit are Thomas’.

And only when Thomas finally admits his want, Deceit is satisfied.

[Thomas]: Fine! I want to go to the callback! I was planning on playing Word Crush on my phone during the wedding ceremony to keep my mind off the fact that I'm single. I don't want to go! I'm afraid to go. And on top of that, a dream come true fell into my lap scheduled on the same day. Anyone would want to go to the callback! So, yeah. I tried to force myself to forget about the wedding, and now I want to lie to my friends, so they don't hate me for not supporting them. I'm a liar. I'm a liar.

Deceit put on a whole courtroom, just to force Thomas to be more honest. This alone would be enough to prove he’s not just the embodiment of lies, but I suppose the correlation “snek = liar” was stronger than 200 proofs, so Roman did the wrong thing and made a choice no one wanted.

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A mature Side

[Roman]: It's my sworn duty to help Thomas achieve his hopes and dreams. But Thomas wouldn't dream of attaining his hopes through deceitful means. [Deceit]: But that's not true! [Virgil]: And you're a beacon of truth? [Deceit]: Oh, did I say that? I missed the part where I said that.

Please let’s focus on Deceit’s words because they are very, very interesting.

1) Deceit openly admitted his means weren’t deceitful. Just like when he asked Thomas, during the courtroom if he was “the snake come to trick you into sinning, or have you had your mind made up since the moment you received the news about the callback?”. Deceit had no intention of deceiving Thomas, from the first moment he appeared.

2) Deceit is a very mature Side. I talked about it during my POF analysis part 3, when he openly recognized his own mistakes. Here he openly admits what Thomas is having trouble admitting: that he’s not perfect. He never said he was. He never pretended to carry the truth. Even if he’s 100% right here, he still admits he’s flawed. He and Patton are truly the most mature Sides here.

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Caring and criminal

During the episode, he said that “fulfilling your purpose requires keeping things close to the chest”. And where did he keep his logo? On his chest. Even better, on his heart. What else does he have to do, to prove how deeply he loves and cares about Thomas? This man is the most caring Side.

[Deceit]: I'm not going anywhere. And there are smarter ways to get people to do what you want, anyway.

Uh, so “smarter ways to get people to do what you want” means “let’s release Remus”?

You know what? That really was a smarter way. With one decision, he introduced Remus, proved he’s harmless and even useful, showed Thomas that ignoring his needs leads to an increment of his intrusive thoughts and confirmed that he was right and Thomas should’ve listened to him.

This man is a criminal and I love him.

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Why Logan can’t work in the moral area

[Logan]: It's still difficult to believe that my participation was as restricted as it was. It was Deceit's doing, I'm sure. I would have been a more than worthy foil. Unlike him, I'm skeptical about whether a society could function without some sort of system of laws by which all of its citizens abide.

Oh Logan, you huge nerd. I love you, but this is why you don’t work in Deceit’s and Patton’s same area of expertise.

Deceit’s whole monologue about society wasn’t practical, but moral. He didn’t say “we should surrender to anarchy”, nor presented a point about why rules are bad: he said society is a concept and we all collectively choose to believe this concept was true. He talked about how scary the concept of society is. And he clearly saw it on a moral level, not a practical one.

And yes, we can add this to the list of reasons why Logan was pushed in the back: just imagine if, instead of talking with Patton, the other moral side, who was incredibly quick to get his points and ask him about his agenda, we got Logan: a neutral Side, more interested to practical things than metaphorical/moral ones. Deceit would’ve spent most of the time rephrasing everything and the conversation would’ve been just about this choice, rather than a multilayered conversation about selfishness, selflessness, Thomas’ fallibility, and choices in general.

Deceit needed Patton as interlocutor and he needed to remove the cold, straight logic from a conversation that was mostly about morals and emotions: two areas Logan is not an expert about - as he will admit in POF.

[Logan]: Well, determining what feels right or wrong for you isn't really my area of expertise.

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Truly taking care aka the wedding from Lee and Mary Lee’s perspective

[Patton]: Well, here's the thing, kiddo. People hurt all the time. By going to the wedding, you're making sure that two of your friends aren't hurt by the absence of someone they really care about.

Okay, time to put the most cynical part of me here.

Patton’s words are cute and nice and everything… but seriously. Come on.

Just imagine being the bride or the groom: you spent the previous days, weeks and months organizing for this event. Locations, entertainment, ceremony and everything. Then the day comes and you want to be 200% sure everything goes as smoothly as planned. You have people coming to ask you about this or that detail. You have to be sure your dress/make-up is okay, your best men/bridesmaids are okay, the photograph is here, the meal is good, the place is ready, the staff is preparared.

And, when it’s time, you have the ceremony, the people to greet, photos to take, meals, events, dances and so on.

Do you really, REALLY think that Lee and Mary Lee would be so devastated by Thomas’ absence? I’ve never been married, but I really doubt that one missing guest (and not a best man or a bridesmaid or another important guest: just a guest) would have made them feel so devastated. Weddings are huge, stressful events, a ton of things happen and the newlyweds barely have time to eat, let alone feel devastated by a missing guest.

And I would like to repeat that: a guest. Thomas didn’t play any important role. He wasn’t supposed to be Lee’s best man or anything else. He was just a guest.

Do you know what it would’ve happened, if Thomas skipped the wedding? That Lee and Mary Lee would’ve thought “Oh, Thomas didn’t come”, to completely forget about it two seconds later, because someone else would’ve called them to do something else.

And no, going anyway isn’t a question of empathy, but of naiveness - and egoism too. Thomas himself proved it in POF, when he showed his frustration, because he wanted a little more than a “hello”. He literally wanted them to throw him a party, just for coming! Who would ever think the newlyweds would give a damn about them, on such a huge day? No one, except for a very egoistical, naive person: egoistical enough to think they are the only one who matters, naive enough to think the bride and the groom have time to do a party for them. That’s childish, immature and very selfish, not empathetic.

Do you want to know what Character!Thomas could’ve done, if he wanted to show some empathy? Skip the wedding.

Think about it. What would’ve been better? Thomas moping around and not enjoying himself, thus ruining the party for everyone else… or Thomas not appearing at all and letting everyone enjoy the party? Which choice is the most empathetic? Call me a bad person, but I think the second one would’ve been a better way to care about other people’s feelings.

Also because Lee and Mary Lee noticed it:

[Lee]: Really? 'Cause you're sitting alone at the reception.

And, at least to me, that’s way worse than not attending it at all. Thomas was such a buzz kill, he ruined the party for the bridal couple too. That’s literally the most selfish, bad thing he could’ve done. And only because he didn’t want to listen to the snake boy.

This event deserved to leave strong consequences. And POF is proof of how huge the impact was on Thomas’ life and how deeply things will change from now on.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

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#sanders sides #sanders sides theory #rewatch #analysis #thomas sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #ts thomas #ts janus #ts patton #ts logan #ts roman #ts virgil #ts remus #selfishness vs selflessness

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aredlemon · 6 months

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A Part. Ao3

Summary:

Sure, it was only obvious that the breakup would hurt Patton. But did no one think about love itself?

The others forget Roman is literally love but his bro comforts him

Notes:

First fic! Pardon me if it isn’t up to par but I wanted to get something for you out. (Also some shit happens in my real life, oh and procrastination)

Cw: oblivious/ignorant sides, slight Patton bashing, descriptions of someone looking sick, Remus comforting his bro, Roman has self deprecating thoughts.

Pairings: none!

~~~

It had been only about a week since the breakup. Not that it mattered, the others were still furious. Rightly so. It was all his fault!

The window was open, a slight drift moving the curtains. The sun was setting, casting the room in a low, orange light. The floor was littered with tissues, an overflowing trash can not too far from them.

Roman lay on the bed staring up. His prince costume had long been discarded. His skin was pale, rosy cheeks stained with tears only accentuating that. His hair was disheveled, it looked to be less saturated than before.

“Why must you ruin everything…”

A chocked sob escaped Roman. His voice was barely above a whisper, throat aching after what must have been hours of crying. He let out a shaky breath before continuing his soliloquy.

“If only you had just…Done you *job*…”

Roman turned to his nightstand. There lay a letter. A love letter. Funny wasn’t it? How the one to call Thomas all those names was the same person who called him ‘love’. It didn’t matter anymore. Roman had failed at his sole purpose. Keeping Thomas happy.

———

Remus paced around his room. Not out of anxiety or worry. Janus had prohibited him from entering the living room after he brought in a second dead body. It wasn’t his fault the first one needed a friend!

“Wonder how he’s holding up…” he thought out loud.

Remus seemed to have been the only one to notice Roman’s sudden absence. He was his brother after all, plus Roman was his favourite person to annoy! The others seemed to be too preoccupied with Patton…That bastard. ‘Oh look at me so sad! I am feelings!’ Well, Roman was passion, love for fucks’s sake! It made Remus feel weird…He didn’t like Roman…but they were still brothers.

“That’s it” and with that, Remus quickly vanished from his room.

———

It was deafeningly silent. A tear made its way down Roman’s cheek. He didn’t even bother wiping it away this time, much too tired to move. He looked sick. White hairs had started appearing on his head, all colour having been drained from his eyes. There was no point in trying.

‘At least I won’t burden them anymore’, ‘It’s better like this’, ‘I deserve this’, thoughts like these were floating in Roman’s brain. His eyes slowly closed.

“I’m so fucking sorry Thomas.”

———

Few moments passed before Remus rose up. Morning star in hand, ready to cause trouble.

“Oh Ro-Bro~ Are yo-“ Remus was cut short.

The sight of his brother made his stomach churn, something not many things were able to achieve. No, that wasn’t his brother. His brother was lively, loud, happy…this…

A loud thud was heard as the morning star fell from his hands. Rushing to his brother he sighed in relief when the faint heartbeat and slight coldness of Roman’s breath against his hand alerted Remus he was still alive. He withdrew and placed a hand on Roman’s shoulder, shaking him lightly.

“Ro-Bro, get up.” Remus’ worries came back, since Roman didn’t seem to wake.

“Come on now,” he growled, “get up you fucker!” He shook him more violently, worry slipping into his voice despite his efforts to remain calm.

Why was he even so worried? Roman was still alive after all, and he probably would wake up…oh for the love of fuck! Remus allowed tears to spill from his eyes, voice coming out in a sob as he begged Ro to wake up.

———

Roman’s eyes slowly fluttered open. It must have been morning, perhaps early mid day? Whatever, it’s not like he really cared. His eyes took a bit to adjust to the light invading the room through the curtains. He felt light, almost as if he were floating. Was this a dream?

“Hmmmgg…Ro?” A voice startled him.

Turning his head ever so slightly he was met with Remus’ gaze staring down at him. It seemed as though he had just woken up, still rubbing his eyes. Dark circles framing them, still damp from tears cheeks accompanying them. He looked so…exhausted? Roman had never seen Remus like that, let alone crying. Roman looked at him, trying to ask what was wrong but his voice betrayed him. What came out was a slight whine, barely audible.

“Oh you fucker.” Remus dipped down and hugged him.

Resting his head in the space besides Roman’s head he wrapped his hands around the prince. He felt so relieved. Roman was ok. He quickly pulled back after a groan from his twin’s lips reminded him that he was crushing him. Sitting besides him, he helped Roman sit up on the bed, making sure not to move him too quickly.

Roman felt dizzy, as if his brain was melting in his head.

“What ‘re you doin’ here…?” He slurred out.

Remus stammered, bewildered. Was he really being serious? “You’re kidding right? Roman, you haven’t come out of your room in a week, I come in and find you barely alive, and you ask me why I am here!?”

He didn’t intend on sounding angry, let alone upset, but it happened to come out that way. But was he at fault? Roman was acting like such an idiot.

Roman jolted back a bit. He looked scared. Upset. Worst of all he looked sorry. Ready to break and start apologising, saying sorry for making Remus worry, sorry for being a burden, sorry for being a failure.

Tears spilled from his eyes. They had gained back some of their colour, same with his skin and hair, but he still looked sickly. He tried to speak, but all he could muster up was a faint “s-sorry”.

No, Remus must have misheard right? He all but lunged forward and embraced Roman.

“No. Stop. Just…it’s ok, I’m here” he said as Roman started to sob into his shoulder.

“Sorry for *hic* making you…w-worry” Roman’s words came out barely audible.

“Don’t be. You did nothing wrong, hear me? Nothing.”

Remus patted his twin’s back, humming softly to soothe him. Oh dear….He didn’t like seeing his brother like this. He missed the brave, annoying, over the top Roman. As he made a mental note to give the others a piece of his mind Roman spoke up, finally having calmed down a bit.

“You’re…not mad?”

‘Might as well have driven a dagger straight through my heart’ Remus thought. “No I’m not. Just…I’m sorry, I should have noticed sooner.”

Before Roman could protest Remus continued.

“Just, listen, you’re not a failure, a screw up, whatever. Thomas will find someone new. Shit happens ok? Just cause it’s a part of your job to be love doesn’t mean anything. That’s only a part of you. A part of the amazing Roman.” Remus chuckled. “The, very sadly, lesser of the twins~”

Roman chuckled and pushed Remus off of him.

“Fucker” he said while smiling. ‘Well, what did I expect?’ Roman thought. Remus was his brother after all, and as much as he wanted he couldn’t stay mad.

Plus, the teasing was a part of him, right?

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed! Again this is my first one so sorry for the bad writing. Also for the fact that it’s short, wanted to get it out this week.

-ARedLemon :)

#sanders sides #fanfic #ao3 #roman sanders #angst #roman angst #roman sanders angst #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #unsympathetic sides #unsympathetic patton #(had to add it)#my fic #my writing #first fic #ao3 link #ao3 fanfic

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orbmanson7 · 6 months

Text

Appreciation (Or Lack Thereof)

Word Count: 994

Notes: Have some delicious angst on this fine and lovely Logan Appreciation Day~

He really should get back to work.

The thought kept nagging at him, refusing to stay in the back of his mind so he could at least attempt to enjoy this day. But no, there it stayed, a constant reminder that this was a waste of time.

He looked over at the other sides, they continued to argue over something arbitrary. Logan had tried not to react, given how unnecessary the discussion had been. It didn't even involve Thomas - this was just about Roman being annoyed about the sides having identifiable colors, something about the meaning behind those colors... That was about the part where Logan's thoughts reminded him, yet again, how this was a waste of valuable time.

But, no, he stayed put. He had already decided on what he would do today, and that was spend time around the other sides.

"That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard you say--"

"Look who's talking!"

"Hey, come on now, that's not nice, we can hear him out..."

Logan sighed. Why had he decided to do this again?

He glanced behind him and into the kitchen where he could see a calendar.

November 3rd.

It was his "appreciation day" as they'd agreed to call it.

Just a simple little day to commemorate that Logan existed, that he was there, just like the rest of them...

Because it seemed to be difficult for them to remember otherwise, he supposed.

He really should get back to work.

He turned back to the others' conversation again. Now it seemed the topic had changed as Roman and Virgil attempted to explain why blueberries weren't actually the color blue.

There was a simple answer, but no one ever seemed to want to hear those. Not from him, anyway.

He glanced briefly at his watch.

He tried not to think about this being a waste of time again.

He failed.

"Logan! You probably know the answer," Roman scoffed. "You tell him!"

"Oh," Logan blinked. Right, of course, he could answer that, and appreciated the opportunity to join in. "Well, you see, they only appear to be somewhat blue due to an antioxidant that can be found on the skin of the--"

"Boring!" Roman grumbled, "Ugh, never mind. I should've known better than to ask you!"

Logan simply stopped speaking. Mouth shut, no need to continue or counter. There was no point arguing, he'd become well aware of that by now.

He glanced at his watch again and sighed.

Only speak when spoken to and only offer help when asked. It may have confused him before, the reason lost somewhere in something he'll probably never fully understand, but he got the picture fairly well nowadays.

This was just how things were. And that was okay.

It wasn't technically a waste of time if he had planned to spend this exact time with the others. He just had to remember that. He had chosen this, set aside a decent time in his schedule to just be with them for a while. He had wanted this.

He stared at them as the pointless conversation dragged on. Patton seemed a bit overwhelmed, but it didn't seem to be tainted by any particular emotion, or at least not one Logan recognized. That was probably a good thing. And Roman was acting like his usual self, if pushing to raise his ego a bit. Perhaps he was feeling a bit down today, if that's how that worked? And Virgil seemed amused somehow by the discussion, possibly because it appeared to be of no consequence to Thomas. That was good, he clearly deserved moments of calm.

He wondered absently how Janus and Remus were doing, as well. Neither of them much cared for spending time in this area of the mindscape. He couldn't blame them for sticking to what was comfortable and familiar, though.

And probably quieter. More productive, maybe.

He really should get back to work.

He fought the urge to look at his watch again. He knew barely any time had passed since he last checked.

He heard laughter and wanted to clue back into the other sides' conversation but... he already knew he probably wouldn't get it. He never did, after all.

Which was likely why they preferred to keep him out of the loop to begin with, really. He just simply wasn't needed, not for things like that - not for much of anything, apparently.

He had long since come to better terms about it, especially as the years had gone by. He has accepted it. It's fine, and fairly understandable, given much of the circumstances involved.

This was just how things were and he couldn't change that. He had tried for a while, but the time for resistance was over.

Now, all that mattered was making sure Thomas was safe and alive.

Logan and his insecurities mattered very little in comparison to something so necessary as Thomas' happiness and well-being.

Another laugh.

He was okay with that, though. Logan just needed to do his job and that should be satisfying enough. He should appreciate having everything made so simple for him, surely.

He really should get back to work.

One more check of his watch and, yeah, the time he allotted for today was just about up anyway. He did have to put off some of his work to be there today, so it was definitely a good idea to leave and get back to it.

He doubted anyone would mind, of course.

He'd only really hoped for one thing...

No goodbye to the others as they continued to talk as if he wasn't there, they wouldn't notice anyway. He just sunk out and rose back up in his room, ready to work. Ready to do what he was meant to do.

Thankfully, he made sure to get a lot done before his short break today. Really, he felt the break was almost warranted, given what day it was. He had not even considered how else he'd like to spend it than to try to have time with the other sides...or at least most of them, but he knew Janus and Remus weren't exactly fond of him, so he would take what he could get without bothering anyone any more than usual.

He hadn't gotten the opportunity lately to be around the other sides without all his focus and energy going towards having to address one of Thomas' ever constant dilemmas. He wanted that chance, just for today, to let them know he appreciated them, for acknowledging he existed.

He was thankful when they did that. There was something... satisfactory about being noticed.

He had to admit, he hadn't really planned for today to be productive by any means. Not that he was looking forward to a break or slacking off. He very much enjoyed his work, especially knowing how necessary it was.

To be appreciated.

He sat down at his desk and got back to work. What he wanted didn't really matter, and he knew that. It didn't matter what this day was for, he could simply appreciate that he has a day at all. If anything, this was just a good reminder that he should stick to what he's here to do for Thomas.

But, still, it would have been nice to do a little more today.

Oh, well. Maybe next year.

#logan sanders #logan angst #i couldnt resist even tho im literally in the middle of trying to do a nanowrimo update i just had to post logan angst too #sanders sides #logan appreciation day #as always we gotta have angst on this day its tradition by now #orbs thought bubbles #long post #fanfiction

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adamprrishcycle · 1 year

Note

Okay, you want to talk Ronsey, you better buckle up! (This is going to be long, sorry!)

As the formerly known TRK Anon, I can confidently say that trc is still somewhat fresh in my mind, so I have lots of examples to support my argument. Now, given that I have only read the series once, my character analysis might not be as deep or intense as yours.

If you don't know already, I am a huge Gansey lover/supporter/follower/fan/worshiper/bitch. (Will Patton’s rendition of Gansey drives me absolutely feral!!!!) I have loved him since the very first time we know about his existence (Which is page 15 of TRB). If Gansey is part of the equation, I ship it! Bluesey, Ronsey, Declansey, Adansey, HELL…even Chengsey (I could care less about Henry, so the fact that I acknowledge this ship is a big gesture on my part) I just want to make it clear that I am not an Adansey hater, it's just not my kind of jam (*shrugs*)

I know that what Gansey means to me, Adam is to you. But Adam was tough for me. Like REAL TOUGH to discern. It was not until halfway through TRK (practically when Pynch becomes canon) that I was finally able to appreciate him, to see him eye to eye and say: You ARE knowable. I will give it to Adam, he has the best, most memorable, character growth/development in the entire series (Ronan being a close second). But his stubbornness during TRB/TDT was so unbearable to me. He was such a DICK to Gansey. And yes, there were instances when Gansey deserved it (like the hospital scene) but most of their interactions (at the beginning of the series) are somewhat tense. They are constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to trigger/offend/provoke the other. There are MULTIPLE references to them fighting pre-canon, mostly about money, occasionally about who owns who. The whole DC trip was so stressful for all parties involved. In fact, Adam was so unapproachable that Gansey and Blue kept their relationship a secret because of how difficult he had been back then. (Honestly, I think he would have unalive them both) Plus, he is a hypocrite (I guess we all are) because when the rent thing happens, he goes to Gansey first and throws a fit about it!! But when he finds out that Ronan actually paid his rent, he is “cool” about it. He doesn’t argue with him. He doesn’t feel offended. He just accepts it (it being both the money and the fact). The one thing that really upsets me is Adam wanting the favor for himself. I understand why he wants it, but he knows it is Gansey’s life purpose to find Glendower. It feels like a betrayal, you know? I just cannot stand people being mean to Gansey, it triggers me!!!!

And yes, I get it, there are some good moments between them. Like the call with Mallory when Gansey is trying to make Adam laugh. Or Adam fixing/diagnosing the pig. Or the two of them being ushers on Raven Day. But these moments are so…normal (mundane?) that they don’t feel special.

To me, Adansey is a somewhat “toxic” ship. It is a one-sided relationship, because Gansey gives and gives and Adam refuses to take. Adam practically (and literally) loathes? abhors? despises? everything that Gansey stands for (money, friendship, status, family, you get the gist). How can you possibly love someone that is the poster child of everything you hate?! I think Adansey would be the perfect ship for enemies to friends to lovers.

But Ronsey, oh my dear Ronsey!!!! To me, Ronsey is all about Gansey and Ronan meeting before Niall’s death. The way Gansey describes Ronan before his father’s death is so intoxicating. Gansey mourning the joyful boy that Ronan used to be. Gansey getting emotional over Ronan’s laugh. Gansey being completely and utterly amazed by Ronan’s dream creations (“You incredible creature”). Ronan being unconditionally devoted to Gansey. Ronan being devastated that Gansey has other friends; that Gansey is going to DC with Adam and not him. Ronan and Gansey. Gansey and Ronan. Maybe I am not making any sense right now because my brain convulses just thinking about these two.

They have been through it all. God, there are so many moments pre-canon that I wish we could get to experience. Can you imagine Gansey panicking at the hospital with Ronan’s blood in his hands? Can you imagine Ronan teaching Gansey how to punch?! I can’t remember if canon ever confirms how Gansey acquired his journal, but can you imagine if Ronan bought it for him!?!?!

@singersargentboi said it best: “The thing I love about Ronsey is that even in the books theres this sort of unhinged devotion between them that toes the line at being romantic/sexual.” Let’s unpack this together. Exhibit A) Kavinsky’s substance party. O.M.G. Gansey being such a deranged version of himself that even Ronan cannot stop smiling about it. (“What is it my dog needs?” JUST KILL ME ALREADY) Exhibit B) Ronan dreaming the keys to the Camaro in such a steamy delicate way that I am pretty sure he woke up with a tent in his pants. Exhibit C) Gansey bribing a full-grown adult for Ronan. Exhibit D) Gansey constantly scolding/disciplining/bossing Ronan and somehow stopping the Lynch brothers from killing each other. Exhibit E) Ronan going back home against his dad’s wishes, but still turns to Gansey for comfort (“Can I go and see mom?”) And if all of this does not convince you, I’ll leave you with this: “Gansey was far more of a brother to Ronan than Declan had ever been.”

However, I come to you with a peace offering, a secret third option: RODANSEY. Throughout the series it is constantly noted that 3 is the perfect number for magic ;)

THANK YOU FOR SPILLING YOUR THOUGHTS INTO MY ASK BOX 😍 this is delish and wow a HOT TAKE (to me, a simple woman who will live and die on the hill of adam parrish 🫶) although I understand your grievances from a protect-gansey-at-all-costs point of view! I think you’re right about them having the potential to be a toxic ship because of how much they fight. What’s funny to me is how it seems like they don’t understand each other… yet there’s at least 3 times in TRB alone where they communicate just by looking at each other which is amazing considering from what we know they have only been friends a few years but they’re that close and on that exact same level together. But then… they’re not. I think Adam has just had to rely on himself for so long that he can’t reprogram his brain to think differently, and gansey has had loving parents and a good sibling relationship and intense friendships therefore he can’t even begin to understand adam. They’re on diff planets right? They can’t relate to each other in any way shape or form. But then…. love comes along and makes it work??!??! This is why I’m an adansey girl.

BUT everything you said about ronsey…. That ferocious love I will never ever be over it ever 🥹 unhinged devotion is exactly right. And we all know the when I’m gone dream me the world quote but FOR ME it’s “he couldn’t say it, though. There were a thousand reasons why he couldn’t say it” like???? We were just supposed to move on from that? I can’t I wont.

(side note cuz I gotta defend my boy declan and say he is the best brother ever and I will not expand at this time bc spoilers but the dreamer trilogy will)

Rodansey…… now you’re talking my language. Truce? 🤝 thank u for this ask it’s made my day xx

#living for rants like this #took me on a whole journey #adam parrish #ronan lynch #gansey #adansey #ronsey #rodansey #trc #the raven cycle #declan lynch #niall lynch #ask #meledde #pynch

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phantomhunting · 1 month

Text

ORANGE IS WRATH

Read on AO3

CW: violence, angst, neglect (they neglect Logan), implied prinxiety. this isn't beta read either so keep in mind there will be mistakes, feel free to point them out so i could fix them.

"Roman, I just don't get why you're saying that" Patton said softly. "Ac-" Logan tried to speak, but was instantly cut off by Roman. "Because he's evil!" Roman called. "Evil people can change!" Patton explained, trying to keep calm. "Ev-" Logan tried to speak again, being cut of by Patton. "Roman, give him a shot" Patton cried out. "If-" Logan was cut off again, by Roman. "I'm not going to, he hasn't earned it!" Roman exclaimed. "Pl-" Logan failed to speak again, this time he was cut off by Thomas. "He deserves a second chance, Roman, you know he does!" Thomas begged for Roman to understand. Patton, Thomas and Roman began speaking over each other, Logan trying to speak but being unlistened to. Virgil was trying to calm everyone down, but then he noticed Logan.

Logan's head was turned the other way, his body language indicating he's mad, angry huffs can be heard from him. "Logan? Are you.. okay?" Virgil asked quietly, the others didn't even notice Logan's rage. Logan turns to Virgil, opening his eyes. Virgil just waits for a response. Logan's eyes become watery, which never happened before as far as Virgil knew. Virgil is taken aback before noticing Logan's eye color, it changed from their usual brown to... bright Orange with a tech-y pattern. Virgil is instantly concerned. Logan smirks and sinks down without a word.

"Logan?" Patton says as Logan sinks down, the over lapping chatter stopping in an instant. "This is... Bad" Virgil closed his eyes, as if trying to remember a painful memory, but the momory was buried so deep down it seems impossible to find. "W-whats bad?" Thomas asked, looking Logan's spot up and down, like Logan is gonna reappear at any second. "Lo-" Virgil stopped himself, stuttering over what the right phrasing might be, he eventually gives up, "I need to go check on Logan, you three continue doing whatever you were doing, I'll be back" Virgil sank down before anyone could respond. "Now I'm scared... What happened to Logan? Is it something I did?" Patton whispered to himself, thinking about his day and what could've hurt Logan, finding nothing. The three continued to chat, more respectfully this time, giving time for each person's answers and not cutting anyone off. If only they've done that when Logan was there... A scream from Logan's room, it's clearly Virgil's. "Virgil?" Patton puts his hand on his mouth, he couldn't bare the thought of his kiddo getting hurt. "H- L- P- M- E-" cut off screams, still Virgil's, the room is silent waiting for answers. "BR- TH- R-" one last scream, Virgil seems to have disappeared. Thomas and Patton were motionless in shock, but Roman restless and scared.

"Uhh... We should go help him" Roman said, pulling out his sword. Patton nods and turns to Thomas, "do you think you can get us there?" He asked softly, scared of what they might find. Thomas nodded quietly and closed his eyes as they all sank down slowly, the air was thick with tension and fear, they all felt heavy and were dreading the moment they rise up in Logan's room.

But they didn't, instead they rose up in Virgil's room, a purple themed dark room full of spider webs. "Thomas!" Patton called accusingly. "Sorry, I'm too scared to think about anything else but Virgil" Thomas answered as he looked down in shame. "Its alright. Patton, you come with me to Logan's room. Thomas, you stay here in Virgil's room" Roman ordered and went towards the door. "Wait but I thought you needed me to get you to other rooms" Thomas questioned. "Yes... But that's only if we're outside, once we're inside we don't need you for transport." Roman spoke fast, trying to get Thomas to shut up so he could go find Virgil. "Oh.. but-" Thomas was cut off by Patton. "Thomas, I don't know if we have time to sit around and chat, Virgil might be in big trouble!" Patton explained, trying to stay calm. Patton and Roman opened Virgil's front door, which lead to a hallway with other doors, each colored uniquely with a sign handwritten with each side's name. the charged towards Logan's door, which was the last one, standing across from Patton's room. They tried to open it but it seems to have been locked. "Logan?" Roman called, waiting for a response. "Virgil?" Patton called as well, hoping his kiddo is okay. "I'm going to kick down the door. stay back" Roman asked and took a step back, standing right in front of the door. With a loud thud, Roman kick down Logan's door, revealing an orange lit room with books scattered all around the floor, soaked in thick red blood. "Virgil?" Roman asked quietly, silently hoping he could save him from whatever nightmare he has to go through. In front of them appeared a glitching version of their beloved friend (or more), Virgil, glitching in and out of existence. "I- T- S- H- M-" Virgil kept appearing and disappearing, making his words cut out. "Him? Are you sure?" Roman asked the glitchy Virgil. "Y- E-" Virgil disappeared and didn't reappear, but Roman seems to have understood what was the problem at hand. Roman turned to Patton, but before he could speak, a cold, soft hand touched Roman's shoulder.

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vinbee631 · 8 months

Text

Prodigal Sons and Daughters Alike

Hey!! Welcome to the masterpost for my contribution to the @tss-storytime Big Bang! This is one of the biggest projects I've ever completed, and the biggest one I've ever posted, so I really hope you enjoy it!

With that being said, chapter links under the cut! I'll be posting a chapter a day on AO3, so I'll be adding those links as I go!

The art inspired by this fic, made by the lovely @nandysparadox

AO3 Link

1 - I’m Never Gonna Not Dance Again - Prologue ~ Welcome to Sanders Academy! And welcome, the creativitwins

2 - I Can Show You the World (I Can Show You this Classroom) ~ Who would have thought school could actually be- not awful?

3 - What Is This Feeling? (So Sudden and New?) ~ Making friends is surprisingly easy and also Roman please calm down it's only the first day

4 - On the First Day of Mock School (My Roommates Gave to Me…) ~ Waking up is hard, at least they have each other now!

5 - Opening Up, Letting the Day In, Pour You a Cup and Say “Hello, How Ya Been?” ~ Now that they've all met each other, things get complicated (in a good way, they're just middle schoolers)

6 - You’ve Got a Friend in Me (But Maybe Not Him) ~ Remus makes new friends! Patton, not quite, but he's working on it!

7 - Ever Since I Was a Kid, I’ve Been a Brooding Basket Case ~ One stereotypical melodramatic teenager coming right up! (Now featuring a little more trauma than is strictly necessary for a thirteen-year-old prodigy!)

8 - Forgive Me If I Boast… On the Subject I Love Most (Getting to Know You) ~ Remus' persistence is highly admirable, but Virgil is not entertained.

9 - Why Do You Look at Me When You Hate Me? ~ Virgil is confused, and possibly has more unresolved trauma. Remus does not do art, but for once is okay with this fact

10 - Intermission: How Would You Like a Friendly Competition? (Let’s Take On the Song) ~ The twins are very competitive, but also very close. Remus gets a well-deserved break.

11 - I Feel Badly About You Feeling Badly About Me, Feeling Badly About You ~ Remus talks it out, and gets some sound advice.

12 - Looking for Something Worth It (The Algorithm is Perfect) ~ Conversation One: Virgil and Logan are now study buddies

13 - The Bar Isn’t the Best Place to Find Advice, Thank God We’re In the Hallway ~ Conversation Two: Janus is snarky, and apparently, so is his roommate

14 - You Know Time Crawls On When You’re Waiting for the Song to Start ~ Conversation Three: Roman has good taste in music, but bad taste in movies

15 - I Don’t Need No Love (All I Need Is a Sugar Rush) ~ Conversation Four/Existential Crisis: Baking Edition, feat. Patton

16 - Fear or Love, Baby? Don’t Say The Answer (Actions Speak Louder) ~ Conversation Five: Remus' biggest mistake

17 - Being Back Here Makes Me Hot in the Face ~ Conversation Six: Good God these boys need therapy.

18 - It’s the Story of One Who Turned from Hating (The Man Who Only Learned to Love) - Epilogue ~ There is no official conversation seven, but things work out anyway. At least, Virgil thinks so.

aand, that's all folks!

#sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides #tssstorytimesubmission2023 #tss storytime 2023 #tws and cws will be on each individual chapter!!#roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #emile picani #and others!#god i don't tag things well on tumblr what am i doing?

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beetlewine-art · 1 year

Text

At this point i just believe that the Roceit dynamic after svsRedux would be like the relationship between La Muerte/la Catrina and Xibalba from the book of Life. This two:

Like, so many lines they had in the movie fit perfectly with Roceit:

Virgil: i want my life back.

Roman: *looks at Janus* is only fair.

Janus: meh *turns away*

Roman: *hugging his arm and in a sweet voice* please Jani~

The other sides: Jani???

Janus: nop. Never.

Roman: *angry* You better do this.

Janus: nop.

-----------------------------------------------

Patton: i know about the bet, Janus cheated

Roman: He did WHAT?.

Logan: Yes, like the two-headed snake he is!

Roman: *visebly angry*

Virgil: You may wanna cover your ears right now.

Roman: *screeming* DE-CE-IIIIT!

Janus: *shows up with two glass cups and a boottle of wine* yes~ my love? *Sees the others* oh oh.

Roman: REPUGNANTE HIJO DE BURRO LEPROSO! you cheated! Again!

Janus: i would never do such thing!

Roman: *grabs a two-headed snake staff from behind his back*

Janus: o-oh, that! It has a mind of it's own... Or two.

-----------------------------------------------

Janus: please my dear, trade tasks with me, i beg you!

Roman: awww, you are so cute when you beg.

-----------------------------------------------

Janus: uh well, i believe you've won the waiger my love, along with my heart, all over again.

Roman: awww, Jani.

Janus: i am so sorry, my love, you deserve better than me. I know that now, will you ever forgive me? *Kisses Roman's hand*

Roman: i do *kisses him*

-----------------------------------------------

I could give more examples, but i think they fit perfectly.

Tag list: @emobeanwhoneedssleep @maze-arts @meowthefluffy @roman-can-gay @dorkyduckling16

#my post #sanders sides #roman sanders #beetlewine #beetlepost #janus sanders #deceit sanders #the book of life #la muerte #xibalba #roceit #la muerte x xibalba #ship dynamics

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fangirlwriting-stories · 11 months

Text

Protector

Chapter One

Chapter Thirty-Four:

Patton had never felt quite this lost before. There had been times when he’d been unsure, of course. But often he’d had Janus to help, and he couldn’t ask that of Janus right now. Janus needed time.

Patton recognized early on that he’d need to step up and keep things running in some ways. Logan and Roman had worked some of this out ahead of time, and while he imagined the heads up was kind of nice, it couldn’t be fun to see your worst fears come true right in front of you. Janus’ world could be doing no less than falling apart around him. Thomas had to be going through a major crisis— or he would at least, as soon as Anxiety got back. And until then he was… not good.

So Patton, as someone who’d had this dropped on him but could also recognize that there was not much he could have done differently, took a deep breath and did his thinking about things while he vacuumed the living room.

It was hard to decide how to feel about things overall. He’d felt hurt and betrayed by Anxiety before. He’d felt used when he’d tried to be caring and giving to someone he thought had deserved it— he had deserved it. Patton couldn’t doubt that anymore. The way Anxiety had handled the situation still didn’t feel very good, but Patton understood now. If he’d been put in a place where he had to hurt someone to help someone else, he doubted he would have handled it as well as Anxiety had. And Patton was also finding it more and more difficult to blame him for not handling it better now that he knew the headspace he’d been in.

Then of course, there was the part that didn’t involve Patton at all. He’d decided pretty shortly after that he wasn’t going to blame himself for it. It wouldn’t help anyone if he drowned himself in guilt, and there really hadn’t been much he could have done. He hadn’t known anything was happening, and it was far more important to focus on what he could do moving forward.

And right, now, he could make meals, keep the mindscape clean, and stop by where Anxiety’s door had been with gift baskets.

It had a couple basic things Patton imagined one would need after waking up from a week-long death (that’s how long Remus had said it would take at least). Food, water bottle, soft fluffy blankets, stuffed animals to have something to hug. And a note that said if Anxiety wanted to and if/when he was ready, Patton would like to see him to apologize. He hadn’t been sure for a while whether to put “apologize” or “talk,” but in the end he’d decided that Anxiety might like to hear one, and that he was very sorry for the things that happened to him, whether he was going to blame himself or not.

He replaced the two cookies daily, as while most of the items in there were non-perishable, Patton knew the benefit of a second cookie after a long hard day, and he didn’t imagine waking up from death was easy.

No one had really caught him doing so before, but he imagined everyone knew who the basket came from, which is why he wasn’t surprised when he found Remus outside his door one day holding it.

“Hello Remus,” Patton said, setting down the laundry basket that was now mostly empty, having delivered clothes to everyone else. “Can I help you with something?”

“What is this for?” Remus asked, hoisting the gift basket up.

“I thought it would be nice for Anxiety to have when he wakes up,” Patton said. “Did you want some cookies too? I was going to replace those after I put my clothes away, you can eat the ones that are in there now.”

Remus glared at him, but still grabbed a cookie and shoved it in his mouth. A second later his eyes widened slightly, and Patton couldn’t help a small smile.

“Do you like them?”

“Needs paprika,” Remus snapped, before shoving the other one in his mouth too. “Why do you care if Anxiety has food when he wakes up?”

Patton furrowed his brow. “Because it’s common decency?”

Remus looked down at the basket. “And you’d treat Anxiety with common decency, would you?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Patton said softly.

Remus, for some reason, looked like he knew that and agreed with it. Maybe Anxiety had told him.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because that’s what you do,” Patton murmured. “And you and Anxiety deserve kindness.”

Remus glared down at the gift basket. “Fine then,” he said, shoving it out towards Patton. “Go make your replacement cookies.”

Patton took the basket. “Would you like to help?”

“No.”

Patton nodded. “Okay.”

He went and put the basket back by where Anxiety’s door would reappear. By the time he was back to his room to grab the laundry basket, Remus was gone.

…

Remus may not have wanted to help Patton with the cookies, but that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve some, so Patton made a couple extra and put them outside his door, along with a spice shaker of paprika and a note with a winky face on it. Remus didn’t say anything, but the cookies were gone when he checked again, so Patton took that as a success and made a note to start making him cookies along with Anxiety’s. There were only a couple days left before he should reappear now, and hopefully things could start improving at least a little then. Though the way Remus had yelled at Janus yesterday hadn’t been a good sign for that.

Patton could give Remus a little grace with that. He understood being angry. Remus had a right to be.

But Janus also had a right to feel upset and take time to think. And while Patton had certainly gotten some perspective on Remus recently, he’d loved Janus for over fifteen years. That wasn’t going to stop because Janus had made some mistakes. Even if they were really bad ones.

But he also understood Janus needing some time, so he made sure Janus didn’t see him coming to take his laundry or leaving him food. Roman and Logan were making him food too, so there wasn’t a way to pin it on any one of them. The three of them should probably talk sometime, but for now they had to work damage control.

Which is why Patton took on a different job that it wasn’t really fair to ask of Janus right now.

“Hey kiddo,” Patton said gently, sitting down on the couch next to Thomas. It was his turn on shift. Logan had essentially child-proofed the apartment for the week, and Janus had recommended Thomas call in sick for the week before locking himself inside. His friends were bringing him food, meaning all Thomas had to do was rest.

Not that that was proving easy for anyone.

“You know what I’ve been wondering, Patton,” Thomas said, giving Patton a bright smile before turning back to the rubber band he was pulling back and forth between his fingers. “I’m wondering if a person like me is actually worthy of love.”

“You are, kiddo,” Patton murmured immediately, wrapping an arm around Thomas’ shoulders. “This isn’t your fault.”

“They’re parts of me though,” Thomas said with a casual shrug. “Those sides were parts of me, right? So doesn’t that kind of make it my fault, even indirectly?”

“Everyone is capable of doing bad things, Thomas,” Patton said. “You choose not to act on those parts of yourself. You can’t be faulted for those parts existing.”

Thomas laughed and flung the rubber band across the room. “You sound like Janus.”

“I’m trying to fill in,” Patton admitted, leaning back next to him. “Janus isn’t doing so well.”

“Oh, because he realized that he’d left two sides alone where they’d be badly hurt all the time and didn’t listen when they tried to tell him that’s what he’d done?”

Patton winced. “Yep.”

“Sorry. Don’t have much of a filter right now,” Thomas said, kicking his feet back and forth against the front of the couch.

“I know, kiddo. It’s okay.”

“You think I’d be used to this by now,” Thomas said lightly. “Wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, kiddo.”

“Well how does it work?” Thomas asked curiously, flipping around to lay down on the couch. “Where does he go? Is he just reforming in my subconscious or something? Is he just straight up gone? What if he never comes back? Am I just never going to be able to fully process how fucked up I am?”

“Thomas,” Patton said weakly.

“I don’t think I’ll ever know what to do, Patton,” Thomas said. He sniffed, and leaned back against the couch cushions as tears started to drip past his smile. “I don’t think I’m ever going to know what to do with this.”

Patton sniffed and laid down next to Thomas. “That’s okay, kiddo,” he whispered. “You’re not alone in that.”

“I want Anxiety back,” Thomas said.

“Me too, kiddo,” Patton murmured, squeezing Thomas gently. “He’ll be here soon.”

“Are you sure?”

And because Patton was filling in for Janus, and lying to himself was how Thomas needed to do self care right now, he squeezed Thomas a little tighter and murmured, “Yes.”

...

Chapter Thirty-Five

#sanders sides #patton sanders #remus sanders #character thomas sanders #platonic intruality #platonic patmas #?#I guess that's the tag?#my fic

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year

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Work of Art

Prompts: Hi! Umm firstly I just want to say I adore your fics! Especially the sanderside and Merlin ones 💜 Secondly, I don't know if you are taking promps right now but if you are I've had a idea bouncing around my head for a hurt/comfort Roman fic for... well longer then I care to admit 😅 I was thinking one were Roman in attempt to make amends he paints/draws everyone something representing how he thinks of them? In a kinda abstract but very positive way! (Extra points if everyone has already apologized to eachother but no one has apologized to him and he thinks he doesn't deserve any) and everyone loves the paintings but sadly Roman didn't do one representing himself so they can't have a set! except he very much did and it isn't flattering. I'm thinking some form of broken/rusting crown/sword and colors of brusing or some such. Followed up with realizations of how not great Roman is doing and much comfort. Sorry if this is to much but it feels like something you'd do really well if its not your vibe no worries and I hope you have a wonderful day! - ultrageekygirl

Hello, first of all I have to say I really really love your writing even if I don't leave any comments. I've had to have read all your work about 3 times now but I haven't much counted. I was wondering if maybe you could write some hurt/comfort with Logan? Like how he can't get a word in edge wise and it's no fault of the other sides they just don't seem to notice? And slowly he just learns to stop talking and contributing. And like maybe Roman notices and they have a heart to heart late at night? U don't like have to do this if u don't want to it's just an idea I suppose. -a dutiful reader

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-esteem issues, self-doubt

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 5741

Out of all the things that Roman could be doing right now, he finds himself staring at the easel in the corner of his room.

It’s just gone sunset and everyone’s split up after dinner to wind down for the evening. Dinner hadn’t been anything spectacularly good or bad, not really. No one got into a fight, no one was celebrating anything, it was the perfect small-talk-and-eat meal.

He tries not to feel too disappointed and then not to hate himself for feeling disappointment.

Deciding that there are far too many thoughts buzzing about his head for him to even think about going to sleep, he gets up and goes over to the easel, unfolding it and setting it up in the middle of his room. He snaps his fingers to get out of his prince costume and reaches for the paints and brushes on a nearby shelf.

As he sets them up, the buzzing begins to solidify.

Everyone has been—well, not quite walking on eggshells but wary around each other. As though the smallest thing could set off another argument that would lead to a massive disagreement that could shatter whatever tenuous peace they’ve achieved. He knows it’s making Virgil antsy as hell and it probably isn’t too much of a stretch to believe that it’s wearing on everyone else too. Patton, at least, who can very much tell that something’s up with Thomas and so something’s probably up with the Sides too. And Logan, who’s never been one to hold his tongue if he truly believes something is wrong. Janus…Janus probably knows too. He can hear every lie in the Mindscape and Roman knows that there have been a damn sight more flying around lately. And Remus…well, Remus thrives in chaos.

Chaos abounds.

He looks back at the easel, chewing on his lip.

What if…what if he helped?

Not in any obvious way, not in any proactive way, not anything that would actually do that much, he’s learned his lesson when it comes to making big swings, but…maybe just to let them know he doesn’t have any hard feelings about anything that’s happened? That he still loves them?

A white canvas appears on the easel and Roman reaches for a brush.

———

He finishes Patton’s first, maybe just because Patton and feelings go closely together, maybe because he found himself reaching for a light blue color first, or maybe just by chance.

“Um, hey, Patton?”

Patton looks up from a book in the living room, smile coming a little slowly to his face but no less genuinely. “Oh, hey, kiddo! What’s going on?”

“Can I show you something?”

A flicker of surprise crosses his face and he stands up quickly. “Yeah! Yeah, kiddo, you can show me anything. Is it in the Imagination? Where are we going today?”

Roman blinks, slightly taken aback by the sudden enthusiasm. He must pause for a second too long because Patton’s looking at him in concern.

“Roman? You—you okay?”

Snap out of it. “Yes, yes, sorry, I just—“ he scratches the back of his head— “I guess it’s been a while, huh?”

“Since you wanted to show me stuff? Yeah, kiddo, it’s been a while, but that’s why I’m so excited! I want to see what you made!”

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth and he bows, gesturing elegantly up the stairs. “Right this way, then.”

Patton beams and they make their way upstairs. He almost reaches for the door to the Imagination before Roman reaches out and shakes his head, tangling Patton’s fingers in his and leading him further down the hall.

“It’s in my room.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Are you…disappointed?”

“No! No, no, I still really want to see what you’ve made, I…” He shuffles a bit as they come to a stop. “Okay, maybe I’m a little disappointed.”

Something twitches in Roman’s chest. Has he really been so stingy with Imagination time? “After I show you, we could still go in the Imagination, there’s a, um, there’s a new forest that I think you’d like.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure.” He smiles and pushes open the door. “Come in, it’s right over here.”

Patton walks in and stops, his eyes glued to the canvas. His mouth drops open and he grabs Roman’s arm. “Roman—oh, kiddo, did you do this?”

“Yeah,” he says a bit sheepishly, scratching the back of his head again, “it’s, um…it’s you.”

His eyes widen even further. “It’s me?”

Roman gestures to the canvas, upon which an almost anatomically correct heart has been painted in soft blues, yellows, and purples. Surrounded by paint splatters that look almost like shadows, the heart seems to pulse in a mysterious blue aether when it catches the light just right.

“Yeah, Padre, that’s…well, I guess it’s kinda how I see you.”

Patton turns to look at him, his eyes reluctant to leave the canvas, staring up at Roman. Roman swallows.

“You…you’re—“ god, this is so much harder out loud— “you do a lot of work that goes unnoticed sometimes. Like just keeping us understanding that we’re having feelings and emotions but we’re not our feelings and emotions and—I don’t know, you just—you feel like a constant to me, you know?”

Silence follows his comments—that were not said to Patton’s face directly, he’s not brave enough for that—and Roman winces, worried he’s said something wrong or not said enough or maybe the colors are just wrong.

“I mean maybe it’s a bit too literal with the whole heart thing, so—“

A sniffle and a tight grip on his arm and Patton shakes his head wildly. “No, no, kiddo, it’s—it’s beautiful.”

“…you like it?”

“Oh, sweetheart, I love it!” Patton claps his hands and reaches out to squeeze Roman’s shoulder again. “It’s—it’s—well, gosh, I don’t have the words to describe it!”

The heaviness flickers as Roman smiles in relief, sagging a bit into Patton’s touch. “I’m happy you like it.”

“How could I not? Oh, kiddo, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“If you want help moving it, I can—“

“Moving it?” Patton looks up sharply. “What do you mean, moving it?”

“Well, it’s yours. You can put it wherever you want it.”

“Can we hang it in my room?”

“Yeah, Padre,” Roman says, trying to hide how giddy he is that Patton likes it so much he wants to hang it in his room, “we can put it in your room.”

Patton squeals excitedly and snaps on a pair of gloves as Roman carefully covers it with a sheet. They pick it up and walk it down to Patton’s room, carefully propping it against the bed as Patton looks around for where to hang it.

“Can I put it right above my bed?”

“Sure. Hold that side?”

“Here?”

“Yes. Let’s just—is that height right?”

“Looks good, yes.”

“Alright, and then let’s just…okay, there. That should be in the right spot.”

They step back to look at it and Patton throws his arms around Roman. “Oh, kiddo, I really do love it.”

Roman chuckles. “Still want to go to the Imagination?”

“Can I stand here and look at it for a little longer?”

“Sure, Padre.”

———

He finishes Logan’s next, probably because he was too lazy to wash all the blue off of one of his brushes and the buzzing decided it liked how it looked. He takes a bit longer with this one just because keeping his brushstrokes so even was much more time-consuming than he’d anticipated, but it’s worth it when he steps back to see the result.

He knocks on Logan’s door.

“Come in?”

Roman swallows and opens the door, smiling a bit when he sees Logan glancing over from his computer. “Hey, Specs. Can I borrow you for just a moment? Won’t be more than ten minutes, promise.”

“Ah, Roman, hello.” Logan glances at a clock. “Yes, I suppose I can spare ten minutes. What is it you need?”

“I want to show you something.”

Logan covers it well, but he falters a little as he gets up, quickly adjusting his tie. “Is this in the Imagination?”

“No, no, just in my room. Promise.”

“Alright.”

He tries not to fidget too obviously with his hands as he leads Logan back to his room, opening the door and gesturing for him to go through first. Logan accepts with a nod and goes in, glancing around before his eyes land on the easel.

“That’s it,” Roman says quietly as he shuts the door, “that’s what I wanted to show you. It’s for you.”

Logan doesn’t say anything, still looking at the canvas. A still body of water surrounded by mountains of galaxy, a single drop falling from some unknown height to make ripples that look as if they were molded from the fabric of the universe itself. Roman comes up hesitantly behind him, trying to get a glimpse of his face.

“It’s, um…it’s how I see you.”

Still nothing. Shit. Maybe he needs to explain more?

“You’re—you’re really clever, Logan, and not just in that you’re smart and you know a lot of things, but you—you get a bunch of stuff that goes way over my head and you always seem to know how it, like, fits? Like into the whole universe, you can just find the right place for a piece of information to go like you’re solving a puzzle and you make it look so—so—so natural.” He fiddles with his hands. “And I remembered that thing we were talking about with drops of water and how if you add another drop it’s still just one drop.”

Nice going, dunce. How are you connecting that to what you just said?

“A-and I know I’ve been—we’ve been—well, really, I’ve been pushing you more and more to the side and I know that’s not fair of me and I wanted you to know that I don’t just see you as there to provide the footnotes for a conversation or be just an encyclopedia or anything s-so I—“

Logan swallows.

“I—I mean—“

He cuts off when Logan turns to face him slowly with the softest expression he’s ever seen.

“…Specs?”

“Roman,” Logan says quietly, “this is magnificent.”

He swallows. “You…you like it?”

Logan just nods, looking back at the painting. “It’s extraordinary. The way you’ve used color and shadow to draw the focus to the center of the ripples, the way your scale has come together…”

Roman smiles helplessly as Logan begins to explain all the things he finds technically fascinating about the painting. He glances at the clock by his computer.

“Logan? I’m sorry, I don’t want to interrupt, but I did promise I wouldn’t take more than ten minutes.”

Logan just pauses and looks at him with a smile. “I think I can extend to fifteen.”

He really has missed getting to listen to Logan talk. He really needs to be better about that.

———

Virgil’s up next and Roman decides he’s never going to look at purple paint again unless he’s throwing it at a wall. He shakes his head and glances at all the tiny brushes and sponges and spends a good half an hour in the bathroom trying to get them all clean.

He texts Virgil when he’s done.

Me: hey are you really busy?

shadowling: no what do u want

Me: can i show you something?

shadowling: sure where

Me: my room

shadowling: k be rite there

Roman lets out a breath and glances at the painting one last time. This’ll be fine. This will be fine.

God, he hopes this is going to be fine.

A knock at the door. “Open up, Princey.”

“Coming!”

Virgil jerks his head at him. “Hey. What’d you want to show me?”

“Um…”

“Do not tell me you asked me here for no reason.”

“No, no, I just—oh, just come in.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow but does, stepping through. “I swear, Roman, if you just go the out of my room so Remus can put shit in there again, I’m gonna…”

His eyes land on the painting and his words trail off into silence. That’s…that’s probably a good sign, right?

Roman glances over again to see the massive spider in the middle of an expansive web dried just right, crouched in the middle of a shadowscape that seems to extend past the boundaries of the canvas. Silver glints off of some of the strands of the web, glitter packed carefully in tight little lines to catch the light just right.

“It’s for you.”

“Shut up.”

Roman slams his mouth shut. Okay. Maybe this isn’t a good thing. Is the spider too literal? Maybe he should’ve gone with something else.

“Shut up,” Virgil repeats, even though Roman hasn’t said anything, “shut up, Princey, you did not—you did not—“

He smacks Roman’s shoulder.

“You made this for me?”

“Y-yeah, it’s, um…” Fuck it. “It’s how I see you.”

“How you what?”

“You—you always talk about spiders being at the center of their webs so they can feel everything and I guess it just reminded me of you. Of how you, you know, you keep an eye on literally everything so you can warn us if there’s danger. I thought it was cool so I…”

Virgil mutters a curse under his breath. “Damn you, Princey, we were even.”

“We were what?”

“We were even.” Virgil smacks his shoulder again. “You go and do something this fucking incredible now? This—you made a fucking masterpiece for me and now I gotta deal with this? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Do you like it or not,” Roman asks weakly, “Virgil, I don’t—I don’t understand.”

“Of course I fucking like it, it’s fucking amazing.”

“Then why are you mad at me?”

“Oh, shit, Princey, I’m not—I’m not actually mad.” He knocks their elbows together. “I’m just—you know I’m bad with…stuff like this.”

“Like accepting things people give you?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit, I forgot about that. I’m sorry, I—“

“Don’t you fucking dare. This is great, I’m keeping it, you’re incredible, and now I’m gonna figure out some way to pay you back because I want to and you deserve it.”

Roman has absolutely no idea what’s going on anymore but Virgil seems to be happy with it so he’ll take it as a win.

“Do you want help moving it to your room?”

“Absolutely I do.”

———

Janus is up next and Roman is seriously considering getting one of those voice-activated light systems so he doesn’t have to keep getting up to turn the lights on and off.

He goes to knock on Janus’s door and fully startles when the door swings open unprompted.

“Roman,” Janus says smoothy, raising an eyebrow when he stumbles back, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

He takes a moment to catch his breath and looks back up. “I wanted to see if you were free.”

“Perhaps I am, what is it you wanted?”

“I wanted to show you something.”

The eyebrow just ticks higher.

“In my room.”

Now both eyebrows are raised.

“Not like that, Janus, I just—please?”

“Oh, alright,” he sighs, shutting the door and looking way too much like some aristocrat who’s been terribly put out, “but this better be worth it.”

I hope so too.

He opens the door to let Janus in and hovers by it, watching anxiously as Janus’s eyes land on the painting.

“…Roman, just you do this?”

He nods, then realizes Janus is currently facing away from him and so can’t see. “Yes. Yeah, I…I did it. It’s for you.”

“For me, you say?”

“Yeah, um…hold on.”

He flicks off the lights and Janus doesn’t have time to stifle his gasp.

What had once been a simple pair of hands reaching out into the vastness of an abstract cityscape now has glowing lines leading from each finger down to various corners of the canvas. Glistening knots tie around each finger and behind them all, lurking off in the shadows, is a single yellow eye with a slit pupil.

“I tried to pick out the paint so it would glow but it wouldn’t be too bright in the dark,” Roman explains, “and I tried to make it so it looks good in the dark or the light.”

Janus turns to look at him, barely visible in the dim light. Just by the intensity of it, Roman can tell he’s narrowed his eyes. “What do you want, Roman?”

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me,” Janus says, voice firm, “what is it that you want from me?”

“Nothing, I—ah!”

For Janus had reached out and taken his chin in the dark, jerking his head up, the grip startling him terribly as he fumbles for the light switch again. He turns it back on to see Janus staring hard at him.

“I don’t want anything,” he mumbles around the hand, “I just wanted to give it to you.”

“Why?”

“Because I—it’s how I see you, you should have it.”

“Some puppet master, pulling strings behind the scenes?”

“No!” Fuck, this went really badly. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. “I—you can see through things in ways that I can’t and you want—you want what you want and you know how to get it and I think that’s really cool and so I—Janus, I can’t breathe—“

He gasps as the hand leaves his chin, rubbing his neck a bit as Janus turns back to the painting. He’s quiet.

“…I think you’re cool,” he mumbles lamely, “so I…made it.”

“And this is…for me?”

“Yes.”

“No strings attached?”

“No, no strings.”

Janus turns to him again, hand raised to brush his chin and Roman does his best to stifle the flinch. He doesn’t grab him this time, just lifts it slightly so they can look each other in the eye.

“Thank you, Roman,” Janus says after what feels like ages, “I like it.”

“Can you just say that next time?”

“Now where’s the fun in that?”

———

Remus. Remus, Remus, Remus.

There’s really only one thing he can do.

When he’s finished, he doesn’t bother to clean the paint from himself or snap himself back into his prince costume. He just sinks out to Remus’s room and tackles his brother to the bed.

“What—Ro!” Remus shrieks in delight and tries to roll on top of him. “Ro-bro!”

“Hey, Re.” Roman doesn’t let him roll them, burying his head in Remus’s neck to make him laugh. “Got something to show you.”

“Imagination?”

“Nope. My room.”

“Ooh!”

Remus doesn’t bother to get up, just sinks them both back to Roman’s bed, almost crushing Roman into the mattress before he scrabbles up to hit him with a pillow.

“Whoa, hey, hey, careful! You’ll knock it over!”

“Knock what—oh.”

Remus goes still. Roman pushes himself up carefully to see Remus staring in shock at the painting.

A black and white landscape that looks like it’s black lines on paper, only for there to be a figure in the center with its hands dug into it. Out of the points of contact, wild colors spill out with reckless abandon, flooding the nearby whiteness until it almost hurts to look at.

“R-ro?”

“Yeah?”

“’S that—that me?”

Roman smiles and sits up, hugging his brother as Remus clings to him. “Yeah, Re. That’s you. That’s how I see you.”

“‘M not just a mess?”

“You’re a mess and it’s glorious.” Roman glances back at the painting. “I think I just missed you.”

“Aw, Ro, I missed you too!”

Roman laughs as Remus tackles him back to the bed. “So you like it?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes! If I could eat it, I would!”

“That’s the best compliment I could ever ask for.” He tries to move but Remus growls. “So you’re staying for a while, huh?”

“Yep. Put on a movie, we’re not going anywhere. My Ro-bro.”

Roman smiles and waves his hand to start a movie on his computer. Being Creativity with his brother is something he’ll never get tired of.

———

“I must say,” Logan remarks as he steps back, “they all look as though they fit.”

“Yeah, right?” Virgil leans against the couch. “I’m never doubting Princey again, jeez.”

“They do look really good.” Patton shakes his head and takes a drink of water. “Do you think he planned it that way?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me.”

“I dunno, he said he did them kinda one after the other. Maybe he just sees us in a way that fits.”

They turn as Janus and Remus appear, each carrying their own paintings. Janus pauses as he lays his down to be hung up next.

“…magnificent,” Logan murmurs, “aren’t they?”

Janus hums, eyes still roving over the paintings. “Why isn’t Thomas a painter if Roman can do this?”

“I presume it’s easier in the Mindscape than it would be to translate to Thomas’s hands.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Holy shit, J, that’s cool as fuck.”

“I know,” Janus preens, “it glows in the dark too.”

“Wait, for real? Lemme see!”

Patton flicks the light off and they all coo over the way Janus’s changes in the dark.

“Oh my god, that’s so cool.”

“Thank you.”

“Can it go next to mine? Spiders, strings, all that.”

“I don’t see why not.”

They quickly hoist Janus’s into place next to Virgil’s. Remus motions to the empty space next to Logan’s. “Can we put mine there?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Wait, let’s put it in between mine and yours, Logan,” Patton says, “the colors—“

“Yes, the colors.” Logan quickly shifts the two around. “Alright, Remus, let’s just—there.”

“These look so cool!” Patton claps his hands. “So, so, so cool!”

“What does?”

They all turn to look at Roman as he comes down the stairs, beaming and gesturing to their wall of paintings. Roman’s eyes widen as he sees all of their paintings hung up next to each other along one of the walls in the living room.

“…whoa.”

“Be proud of yourself,” Logan says softly, “you did an incredible job.”

“They look great together,” Virgil agrees, “you’re a wizard.”

“Now all we need is yours,” Patton says as he throws an arm around Roman’s shoulders, “and we’ll be all done?”

Something in Roman’s chest grows cold. “…mine?”

“Well, yeah, you silly, how else are we going to have a complete set?”

“O-oh.” Roman shifts out from under his arm. “You don’t…you don’t want mine up there.”

Janus frowns. “Why not?”

“It’s, um, it doesn’t go.”

“Wait, you did one for yourself already?” Virgil perks up. “Can we see it?”

“It won’t go with the rest of them, it’s okay, I’ll just keep that one in my room—“

“Roman,” Logan interrupts gently, “can we see it?”

“I, um—“ he looks around to see everyone staring at him hopefully— “yeah, yeah, you can see it.”

He isn’t expecting all of them to hop up and gather like a gaggle of ducklings, but he turns and trudges wearily back up the stairs to his room.

Don’t, a voice inside warns, don’t do this. You’ll ruin it. You’ll just ruin it. You said you weren’t going to do anything big and this is big. It’s selfish. Don’t make them look at it. Just lie and say you were wrong, say something, just don’t let them see.

But he’s already at his door and Janus is looking at him strangely.

“…what?”

“You were thinking about lying.”

“No, I wasn’t! Besides, you can’t hear that anyway.”

“No, I can’t, but you did just lie about not thinking about it.”

Fuck. Roman bites his lip and turns away, shame at being caught and tricked flushing his cheeks. He pushes open the door slightly harder than necessary and winces as it bangs against the wall.

“Roman,” Patton says slowly, “if you really don’t want to show us—“

“No, no, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I just—“

“Well, just because it seems like you—“

“He’s being vulnerable,” Remus growls suddenly, “give him a second to figure out what that means.”

Roman closes his eyes and thanks every single hope and dream he’s ever had for Remus.

When he’s gathered himself a bit more, he crosses the room to a canvas covered with a sheet and rests his hand on it. The fabric rubs against his fingers and he debates leaving it covered. He could say no. He could make something up. He could do a lot of things that aren’t showing them this painting.

Aren’t showing them him.

But then he looks back over to see all their expectant faces and he takes a deep breath.

The sheet swishes as he pulls it free.

———

A white canvas appears with an easel and Roman reaches for a brush.

Because really, what has he done lately? He just causes problems. He shuts Logan out so he can’t say a damn thing when he’s the closest hope they have to actually getting somewhere. He pokes at Virgil just to make him snap back so he has an excuse for ebbing as sassy as he wants. He shores Patton up like he’s some great paragon of virtue and then throws a tantrum when he scolds him for doing so. He’s like a child throwing a hissy fit with Janus, always jumping and climbing the walls to try and get away from him like he doesn’t deserve the scorn and ridicule.

And he treats Remus like he’s the worst thing to ever exist.

The brush flies across the canvas and he splatters paint across himself.

Why is he doing this, anyway? Is he doing this because he cares about them or only to make himself feel better? If he’s doing it for the latter, he might as well not do it at all.

He reaches for another brush and red drips off the bristles.

He shouldn’t be doing this, then, he should be doing something less selfish. Something better. Something that isn’t him. Or something that is him but is…better.

Maybe he just needs to get it out. Get all the him out so that there won’t be anything left when he goes to paint the others.

So he does.

He paints and he paints and he paints.

And when he steps back to see what he’s done, he falls to his knees and buries his face in his hands.

———

Roman turns away as soon as the painting is unveiled, folding the sheet to be put back in its place as the others let out little noises.

He knows what they’re looking at.

A crown, broken and mangled next to a rusted and bloodied blade. A hand lying limply next to it, fingertips rubbed red and raw, scratched and bruised with calluses split open. Fingers that reach toward the objects because they don’t know how to do anything else. Unlike the others, which veer much closer to abstract shapes and fantastical colors, this one is rendered faithfully to the grim tones of the possible.

He doesn’t want them to see him and yet he’s never been more exposed.

“Roman,” Logan says, softly, softly, too softly, “may I give you a hug?”

May he…what?

“Me too,” Patton says and oh, no, it sounds like he’s crying, “oh, sweetheart…”

“Come here, Roman,” Janus is bidding now and he feels himself begin to move before he stops and curls his arms closer to himself, “Roman, come here.”

“You’re scaring him, J,” comes Virgil’s voice, “you gotta let him have a second.”

Roman squeezes his eyes shut.

“Ro,” Remus says from much closer, “I’m gonna put my arms around you now.”

Remus leans against him, warm and solid, and his arms wrap around his waist. He rests his forehead against the back of Roman’s neck and breathes in deeply.

“Ro,” he mumbles, “you gotta…you gotta let me hug you more often.”

No. No, he doesn’t.

“Don’t lie, sweetie,” Janus murmurs and he’s closer now too, “don’t lie and say you don’t need it. Let us hug you, please?”

Selfish. Selfish and stupid and needy.

“You’re not,” he says, voice growing sharper, “you are not selfish for wanting to be comforted.”

“Oh, sweetheart—“ no, he’s made Patton upset— “come—come here, sweetheart, come here.”

“Don’t overwhelm him,” Virgil mumbles and oh, he’s closer too, “Princey, can you open your eyes?”

He shakes his head.

“Okay. Can you listen to me?”

He nods.

“You’re panicking. Let Remus just hold you, okay? We’re not going anywhere, we’re not gonna hurt you, but you gotta calm down.”

Remus is holding him. Remus is right here. Remus isn’t leaving. Remus squeezes him around the waist and tugs him down to the bed. Remus is here. Remus isn’t mad.

Janus takes his hands in his gloved ones and starts to squeeze gently. Janus isn’t hurting him. Janus doesn’t seem mad either. Janus is here.

Virgil is helping him breathe. Virgil told him to calm down. Virgil said they aren’t leaving. Virgil doesn’t seem to be mad.

Logan has a hand on his back. Logan is warm. Logan isn’t mad either. Logan is talking softly to him and calling him dear one. Logan doesn’t do that when he’s mad.

Patton must have turned off the lights. Patton cups his face and wipes away his tears. Patton is calling him sweetheart and Patton can��t be mad at him. Patton’s here.

Roman opens his eyes slowly and realizes oh, I am panicking.

Of course, as soon as he realizes it, he starts to hyperventilate in Patton’s hold and Remus quickly rolls them over so he can lean his whole weight on Roman’s chest. The deep pressure cuts through the worst of the haze until he can breathe again, gasping out that he’s sorry, he didn’t mean to be so dramatic, he really didn’t mean to—

“None of that, now,” Logan chides gently, “you’re upset and that’s alright. Take your time.”

Roman swallows painfully and Remus rubs his chest.

“You’re going great, Ro-bro, you really are.”

“I’m—I’m sorry, I just—I didn’t realize you’d—that you’d want to see and I—I—“

“Hey, Princey, it’s okay.” Virgil runs a hand through his hair. “You’re just kinda fragile right now and that’s okay.”

“B-but you don’t like me fragile, I’m not supposed to be—“

“We like you,” Janus interrupts, squeezing his hand again, “and that means you get to be a bit of a mess about it.”

“Janus,” Patton scolds, “be nice.”

“That is him being nice, unfortunately.”

Remus just hunkers down so Roman can breathe easier again. “You’re doing great. You don’t have to figure everything out right now.”

“We can figure everything out with the paintings later,” Logan agrees, “for now, let us be here for you.”

Roman has no idea what’s going on anymore but Remus is warm and solid and heavy and Logan is being nice and soft and Janus is still holding his hands and Virgil is telling him how to breathe and Patton is drawing the curtains so some of the soft light of the sunset comes in and maybe—

Maybe this is okay for right now.

———

(Later, Remus will quietly ask if that’s really how he sees himself. Roman might say nothing, but he might say yes.)

(Remus might politely call him a fucking idiot and tell him he looks like an explosion right when it’s happening and all you can see is light and feel the rush of energy through your body.)

(Logan might say that Roman is the whirl of electricity when you understand something for the first time and how it feels to see the dots connect in front of you.)

(Janus might say that Roman is the way you know your bed is going to be soft and warm at the end of a long cold day and you can’t wait to crawl into it.)

(Virgil might say that Roman is the buzz and bubble of excitement when you do something you thought you couldn’t for the first time.)

(Patton might say that Roman is the safety you feel when you’re out in a new place you don’t know and you find one friend that hovers by you the whole time in case you want someone to hug.)

(Roman might cry. Again.)

(And maybe he’ll be able to paint something that does finish the set with the others.)

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

#sanders sides #dragonbabbles #fic #roman sanders #roman angst #roman sanders angst #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #janus sanders

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victimsofyaoipoll · 10 months

Note

oh man this is the best tournament i have seen yet except i think literally every female character ever has to win? but my girl iris, frankly ms candice patton herself deserves an award for all the shit she had to deal with from the racists angry she was the best character on the show. it's not even just m/m ships! they literally saw the trailer saw one white woman in it and tried to get her to replace iris west the matriarch of the flash fam as barry's love interest just because of the racism. and she gets pushed away and erased in comics fandom too so people can ship her husband with his male best friend. and like there was canonically a point iris was dead in comics (it's comics she came back because time travel) so i can deal with this is set during the iris has died years but like you can't fully erase iris west then have wally west as barry's son he's barry's nephew by marriage barry literally wouldn't know him without iris. bart can't exist without iris that's his grandma there literally cannot be a flash fam without iris west. tv iris was the best character on that show, she's kind, and brave, and constantly putting everyone before herself even people who hurt her, stop making her selfish and mean in fics, canon put her through enough, let her be happy for once. anyway i'm in love with her

Whoooo Iris!!!

#not poll #propaganda

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virgeandhis-pocket-protector · 7 months

Text

Ayo @prince-rowan-of-the-forest tagged me in the "getting to know your fellow fanfic authors" writing tag game! I'm putting this in a new post cause the original one was gettin long.

Go see Rowan's answers here! (https://www.tumblr.com/prince-rowan-of-the-forest/730426008116822016/aaaaa-thanks-for-the-tag-when-did-you-post-your?)

My answers beneath the read more.

When did you post your first fanfic?

Lordy. Back in 2019, I posted an extremely rough draft of a multi-chapter Sanders Sides (or 'SaSi') fanfic called Kingdoms for a Mind (or 'KFAM') on Wattpad. Either that one or a now tossed SaSi fic called Fear No More (guess which side was the focus in that one. Guess. Hint: It's the anxious guy.)

First Character you wrote for:

Virgil from Sanders Sides, I thiiiiink? Although I wrote for most of the sides at that point, too. Virgil was my little baby boy though.

Main character(s) you're currently writing for:

Logan, Janus, Virgil, Patton, and Remus in the updated version of KFAM i'm working on, and Patton and Roman in a new SaSi/The Mechanisms crossover.

Character(s) you haven't written about before but plan on writing about soon:

Mostly non-SaSi stuff. I have some fic ideas for a Pure Vessel/Pale King angst (from the Hollow Knight video game) or Diggory and Percy from Hello from the Hallowoods (highly recommended queer drama podcast).

Fandom(s) you're currently writing for:

SANDERS SIDES and the mechansisms and star wars and someday probably hollow knight and hello from the hallowoods oh and me and my friend's D&D campaign, but that's mostly original stuff.

Platonic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Tehe. All SaSi platonic duos, pretty much, like the whole group. Platonic/familial Janus, Logan, and Virgil is a favorite though. And I love my creativitwins angst.

Romantic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Analogical, Anxceit, and Royality, among others like loceit, intruality, and prinxiety.

Your top three tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):

Character tags: 1. Original Characters 2. Morality | Patton Sanders 3. Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Relationship tags: 1. Analogical (romantic) 2. Virgil & Roman (platonic) 3. Creativitwins (platonic)

Your current platform where you post your works:

Archive of Our Own (Ao3)! Here's my acc.* (https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancakewithapen/profile) *PSA that I haven't posted anything new in a while. Feel free to read my 3-year-old stuff tho. And if you're feeling extra special, please please bully me about posting stuff I really gotta -v-

Snippet of A WIP you're currently working on:

"The fire cracks. Leaning against a fallen tree, only a few miles away from where their journey began all those weeks ago, Logan realizes he has forgotten how to lie to himself. With conscious, newfound honesty, Logan senses that he is not just uncomfortable. He is angry. Janus doesn’t need to know. Why, in a million years, would Janus even deserve to know? Logan’s feeling are private, they are his, and they do not have to be spoken to anyone. Ever. Logan looks down toward the grass. Why do you care? He almost spits out, but in his periphery, he can see Janus still looking towards the woods. The other’s hands are placed gingerly in his own lap. His mouth is turned down, but his eyes are wide and alert. Janus longs for Virgil to return, too, just as Logan is. He feels the same urges Logan feels. Janus must already know the answer to his question. He knows. He must hate that he knows. He thinks Logan will either save his feelings or put him out of his misery and either option is nicer than conscious ignorance. Perhaps Janus has come to find he can’t lie to himself either. Logan’s stomach churns. They must be talking about these feelings, once so sweet and freeing, in the bitterest configuration possible." (From "Kingdoms for a Mind 2" — a Sanders sides fic)

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

No-pressure tagging some of my favorite fanfic authors:

@i-will-physically-fight-you @late-to-the-fandom @anxious-mess19 @vinbee631 @groovyghostie @annaizscribbling @emo-nightmares @girlboypatton @lily-janus

This is also @pancakewithamace, btw, in case you don't recognize this blog!

#grey's writing #grey's zone #writing tag game #tag game #sanders sides fanfiction #sasi #fander stuff #sanders sides #the mechanisms #hollow knight #star wars #hello from the hallowoods #MY BELOVEDS !!! I AM WRITING AGAIN !!! :DDD

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calethelettuce · 7 months

Text

SaSi Prinxiety Week 3/7: Console Conundrums

Prompt: Arcade

Tags: @prinxietyweek

Synopsis: Roman and Virgil head to the newly built arcade in The Imagination on a date. Unbeknownst to them, Remus paid the area a little visit. The two set off to clean up (but not really) Forbidden Creativity's mess (and maybe see if they can play a game of Pacman together after).

Characters: Remus, Roman, Virgil

Relationships: Romantic Prinxiety

TW: Swearing, Remus existing

Virgil’s usual routine of sleeping until 3PM was interrupted by an awfully obnoxious knock at his door. He ignored it the first time, burrowing farther into his blanket fortress. As the annoying noise continued, this time faster and much louder, he heard someone call to him from outside.

“Virgil! My dark and stormy knight, it’s time to wake up!”

Virgil groaned. It was only 11! Far too early. “Screw off, Princey! Come back in four hours!”

“No sir! You, my lovely emo, have been requested!”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Whoever it is can wait!”

He heard footsteps while he and Roman stood there, yelling at each other through the door. He heard Roman mutter an apology to someone, before he continued, saying, “As your boyfriend, I am requesting access by knocking, however asserting my authority by coming in anyway!”

Virgil put a pillow over his head and screamed into a second one as Roman pulled open the door.

“Go away already!”

Roman sat down at the foot of Virgil’s bed, crossing his legs. “Too much extra work.”

“What the hell do you want, Princey?” Virgil eventually picked up his head, putting the pillow back into his spot as he partially sat up, hair even messier than normal. “You’re kinda interrupting me.”

Roman beamed at him, cupping the purple-clad side’s cheek with a hand. “You’re adorable when you’re mad at me.” He teased, winking, “But I’m here to invite you to something!”

Virgil gave him the most annoyed expression he could muster at the time. “Gee, wonderful. I’ll do it later.” He flopped back down, throwing a blanket over his head.

Roman laughed at the action, moving closer. “Come on, Virge, please?”

Virgil kicked him in the side.

“Ow! What the heck?!”

Virgil stifled a giggle. “Deserved.”

“Yes, but OW!”

Virgil was not happy to be awake. Roman led him down the sidewalk of their neighborhood in The Imagination, the prince talking excitedly about a new project he had just finished.

“I think you’ll like it! It has that one game where you have to cross the street!”

Virgil gave him a look. “It’s literally called Crossy Road, genius. Even Logan, who probably has never even touched a mobile game, knows that.”

“Whatever, it’s still there!”

“Yeah, but do you have DDR?”

“Of course I do! Patton and Janus requested it!”

“Project Diva?”

Roman paused. “Is that the Miku game?”

“No shit.”

“Uh…” he paused, snapping his fingers. A small spark emitted from his fingers. “Yes! It is most definitely there!”

"I'm gonna pretend like I didn't just watch you summon it." Virgil shoved his hands in his pockets, walking next to Roman. "I'm gonna kick your ass at Pacman though."

"I didn't take you for a gaming type," Roman mentioned, placing an arm around Virgil's shoulders, "I thought you were more of a .. well-"

"Someone who doesn't do much?" Virgil finished his sentence for him. "Yeah, I know. I like horror games the most."

"It matches your dark and dreary soul!"

As the sides talked, they neared the small, retro-style building. A large, neon sign out front read "Pixel Palace". Virgil wasn't surprised at the name.

"Something doesn't look right." Roman jogged over to the door, inspecting it. "Somebody was here."

Virgil peered in through the windows and curtains, squinting and trying to see as best he could. He certainly could sense something in there, but what? "Didn't you have the doors locked?" he questioned, tapping at the glass, "Who could have gotten in?"

"...well-"

Virgil turned to face the Prince. "So you're telling me that you didn't lock the doors?"

"It's an arcade! I shouldn't need to lock the doors! The only person I wouldn't trust is-" Roman stopped, thinking. "Remus."

Virgil raised his eyebrows. "Let's go in and get that idiot out of here then."

Roman pulled open the door, shouting, "I swear to god, Remus, if you're in here without permission I'm gonna fight you and win!"

A loud, annoying cackle came from the corner near a large claw machine.

Shattered glass and broken wires littered the entrance. The shards crunched under their shoes as they entered.

“I’m gonna kill him- REMUS!”

Virgil pulled his hood up, splitting up from Roman as he walked the opposite way. He wandered through the rows of broken arcade cabinets, noticing only one machine still working: The Project Diva Future Tone machine. He silently celebrated, opting to sit by it and watch the loading screen. He got bored within a few seconds and headed to the back wall to view the claw machines.

Most of them looked intact enough to use, he decided.

There were only a couple of them, most filled with random plushies, though one caught his eye. It was full of plushies of the sides themselves, even including Janus and Remus. He raised an eyebrow, heading toward it. This one was left untouched, the glass shiny a fingerprint-less.

“Weird.” He summoned a quarter, slotting it into the machine. The timer lit up, signaling the start. He played that machine for a while, trying to grab the biggest plushie (which happened to be a Roman plushie, though that didn’t surprise him much). He could hear the twins bickering behind him, but he kept feeding quarters into the machine as he kept going.

$6.25 later, he managed to get a good grab with the claw, picking up plushie Roman by the torso. The claw dropped the plush into the receiver tunnel. Virgil reached down as pulled the plushie up, admiring the seam work and the little details on the outfit. He hugged it to his chest, turned around, and went to find Roman.

By the sound of the shouting match and the evil cackling from Remus, he assumed they were by the prize counter.

“I banned you last week, you trashy fiend!”

“I do what I want to, Pissy!” Remus tossed his morningstar into the air. It got stuck in the ceiling, sending debris into the atmosphere.

Roman held back an annoyed scream. “Please just leave. Virgil and I-“

“Virgey’s here too?!” Remus’ smiled widened. “Oh this gonna be so much more fun!”

Oh shit. Virgil hopped up onto the top of a machine, deciding to stay up there for a while. He observed the twins quietly from his perch, sitting cross-legged on the metal platform. He cradled the plush in his arms.

“You go near him and I’ll kick your butt.”

Remus faked a hurt look. “Do you promise?”

“Shut up, you clown!”

“Awh, thanks!” Remus checked his watch, and by watch that meant the badly outlined sharpie watch he had drawn on himself out of pure boredom earlier. “Mm, actually I have to go and bother Jan-Jan!” He dropped a bomb into the middle of the floor, sinking out. “BYEEEEE!”

And The Duke was gone, the only evidence he was there being the unarmed bomb and the wreckage of the arcade.

Roman groaned, pulling the morningstar out of the ceiling. “Virgil, dear, you can come out now!” He wiped the debris out of his eyes as he made the weapon disappear.

Virgil stayed put up on his arcade pedestal, playing on his phone. It had just so happened that he was texting Patton at the time.

Popstar

V: I'm bored

Popstar: hi bored, I'm dad! 😃

V: nice

Popstar: I thought you and Roman were doing something?

V: busy yelling at Remus

Popstar: I told those two to stop fighting :(

Popstar: Oh! Before I forget, I wanted to try out this brownie recipe later!

V: ill help later ig if roman ever decides to let me go back to my house

V: oh shit gtg see ya later

"Are you okay up there?" Roman peered up at him from the floor. "How did you even get that high?"

"Fight or flight reflexes." Virgil shrugged, petting the top of his plushie's head.

Roman noticed the plush, and his face turned a bright red. "Say, where did you get that, Scaramore?"

"Claw machine in the corner." The emo gestured to the corner, where the large metal box stood. "It was the biggest one in there. Spent a fuckton of money on it."

"Oh! I can help with that!" Roman summoned a 10 dollar bill. "Here!"

Virgil leaned down to grab it from him, not realizing how close he really was to the edge of his little platform. "oH SHI-"

And he fell right off the console.

He shrieked as he toppled towards the ground. Luckily for him (and his bones), Roman was standing right under him and caught him almost right away. The prince side stumbled back a little at the sudden weight change, carrying the purple-clad side bridal style.

"Woah there, Hot Topic! You almost just took a tumble!"

Virgil let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "I'm clumsy as fuck, dude."

"Oh, that's okay!" Roman kissed Virgil on the forehead and handed him the money the emo nearly died to get. "I love you anyway."

"I uh... Appreciate the catch. Thanks I guess." Virgil's eyeshadow turned a deep purple. He noticed his plushie was missing. "Hey, where'd your plushie doppelganger go?"

Roman looked around, noticing the plushie by his feet. "Oh! Your plush companion is down here!"

"Oh, cool. Can you put me down?"

"No."

Virgil glared up at him. "Really? Are you, the mighty prince Roman, getting jealous over a plushie?"

"No!" The prince avoided Virgil's gaze.

"Liar." He smirked up at Roman. "You just want my attention, don't you?"

Roman scoffed. "Not true!" he paused for a moment. "..okay maybe."

"You're such a suck up, Princey." Virgil kissed him on the cheek.

"I know that!"

"Stop lying to yourself, you're going to summon Janus on accident. " Virgil watched as Roman faked a look of betrayal. "Actually though can you put me down-"

"Oh! Yes, I can." Roman gently set Virgil down onto his feet. "There you go, Gerard Gay."

"Awesome." Virgil picked up his plush, gesturing for the real Roman to follow him. "Here, let's go back to that claw machine. If you're gonna get that jealous over a plushie, I'll just go win you one."

Roman followed behind him. "I'm going to win this plushie all by myself!" he decided, putting his hands on his hips.

"You do you, hon." Virgil slotted the bill into the machine, the play token amount on the little LED screen lighting up. "I want to see if I can get another plushie, actually. Specifically Janus' because I want to dropkick it down a flight of stairs."

Roman held back a snicker at that statement. "I'll go after you, then."

It only took two turns this time for Virgil to be able to grab a small Janus plushie. He took it out of the prize receiver, holding it by the end of the cape. "It's cuter than our Janus."

Roman fully laughed at that one. "Don't let him hear you say that!"

"Or else what? He's gonna self care me to death?" Virgil rolled his eyes playfully and set Plush Janus next to Plush Roman. "Your turn, Princey."

Roman rolled up his sleeves, striding over to the claw machine. "Watch me do this in one go!" he boasted proudly, readying the console.

Quick note here, it did not take him one try.

A few minutes (and an extra 10 bucks) later, Roman held up his prize in triumph. "I did it!"

Virgil smiled at him as he looked up from his phone. "Good for you."

Roman held up Plushie Virgil next to him. "Look, now there's two emos!"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "You're hilarious."

"I've been taking lessons from Patton!"

The princely side walked over to another machine: a broken Pacman machine. With a wave of his hand, the console renewed itself and was playable. He turned back to Virgil with a smirk. "Who's going first?"

Virgil smirked back and cracked his knuckles. "Oh honey, you're going down."

What the heck this took me freaking ages-

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