#tw people pleasing

[golden-songbird]

since i love sanders sides and whump, here are the sides as whumpees, caretakers, or whumpers depending on which role i think they suit best!!

tw for mentions of catatonia, emotional abuse, physical torture, and extreme people pleasing.

roman: whumpee. roman is a golden child at heart, so he would do whatever it takes to please the whumper right away. he wouldn’t act weak or be a pushover, but he would try to be who he thinks the whumper wants him to be by going above and beyond on tasks and always doing things with a smile. but it wears on him, and as the torture gets worse, and roman realizes that his desire to please isn’t changing anything, he grows extremely distressed and his mind breaks into catatonia. he’s barely able to break out of it when he’s rescued, and he regularly falls into his appeasing habits, stuck in that desperate need to please people in order to avoid injury or pain.

patton: whumper. yep. i said it. it’s controversial but it’s just how i think it would work. patton would be the most terrifying whumper because he acts like the worlds sweetest little thing. nobody would even suspect that he tortures people and traumatizes them to the point of no return. his abuse would mostly be emotional, taking advantage of peoples phobias, convincing them that they’re worthless, or that they only deserve love and human decency when they’re perfect, obedient little pets. but i could also see him getting physical, and then hugging his whumpee and saying stuff like “i wish i didn’t have to do it, but you just make me”.

logan: whumpee. logan is a rules guy. as a whumpee, he would observe what gets him in trouble and what doesn’t, and mentally create rules for himself in order to stay safe. he doesn’t care about his wants or needs. just following the rules and staying alive. he’s not much of a reacter unless he’s getting extremely tortured, and whumpers make a game out of trying to get a reaction out of him. so logan learns the rule to react early to avoid further torture. when he’s rescued, he keeps his rules, just in case he needs them again.

janus: caretaker. ferociously protective over whumpees, more on the side of caring for whumpees than getting back at whumpers, but he has a very strong sense of justice. he’s the kind of caretaker who’s stern with most people, but is super gentle with whumpee, trying to play a sort of good cop role as he coaxes whumpee to eat more or get some sleep. he’s typically a secretive guy, but whumpees bring out the honesty in him as he tries to make himself seem more approachable and less scary to whumpees. he’s just a great guy.

virgil: caretaker. his approach is different from janus’ in the sense that he is absolutely a revenge person. if someone hurts his friends, then they’re in for it. virgil is also a bit more tough love than janus, and he’s not afraid of being the bad guy if something has to get done and nothing anybody else is doing for whumpee is working. his harshness can lead to bad things, but oftentimes, it’s necessary to really break whumpee out of bad habits. virgil also tends to lose sleep trying to care for whumpee and forget about taking care of himself, which is very bad. but he works on it.

remus: whumpee. he is the classic defiant whumpee, but it’s in a different way. he doesn’t act angry or “tough guy”, but he does pretend to be unbothered by torture. he puts on a front that he doesn’t care about anything, including his own well-being, and he’s really good at keeping it up, but inside, he’s terrified of his weaknesses being discovered and exploited. he doesn’t trust anybody after he’s rescued, ever really. the trauma sticks with him, and even after he’s rescued, he feels like he’s still there forever, always needing to pretend that he doesn’t care about anything at all.

#sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #unsympathetic patton #thomas sanders #writing #whump #whumpblr #whumpee #caretaker #whumper #tw catatonia #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw torture #tw people pleasing

[talking-incessantly]

Note to Self: Allow yourself to exist for your own needs and desires.

I feel like I’ve been existing for others forever. Like actually, I can’t remember a time where I put myself before others. Ya know what I’ve discovered about that?

It’s utterly exhausting.

There’s this whole warped idea in my head that in order to be a good, kind person, I have to help others whenever possible. If there’s something I can do, even if it only causes more trouble or pain or anxiety for myself, I should do it. I have to do it to be a good person.

That’s such bullshit.

I’ve come to realize that existing for others might as well mean I’m not existing at all. And not in the sense that I shouldn’t be alive, but in the sense of “what’s the point?” Why am I doing so much for others when I don’t do anything for myself? But even just writing that sentence makes me feel intense guilt.

But why should I feel guilty? Seriously, helping others exist to the point that I basically don’t only means that I’m letting people down later. I’m only hurting myself and in turn, causing stress for the people who care about me. Or building resentment towards others. Or letting people down bc I’m too tired to function sometimes. Or preventing myself from moving forward bc I’m trying to pull others along. Why should I feel guilty for trying to be happy and doing things that make me happy?

I always think “I can handle it. If it eases other’s burdens, if it helps other people, I can handle it.”

But I’m so tired.

Being a good person doesn’t mean that you’re completely selfless. Selfishness is necessary in order to exist in a happy and comfortable state.

So, here’s to trying to put myself first.

#adhd #actually adhd #adhd problems #mental health #note to self #people pleasing #tw rsd #tw people pleasing

[amicemetanoia]

I believe society had gaslit me into believing I am being selfish for not people pleasing

#tw people pleasing #being selfish #thoughts #embracing being a selfish bitch

[frownyalfred]

Alcohol tips for newbie writers (or non drinkers!):

At bars, people who order “chasers” after their shots are ordering something to wash down the taste of their shot with. This can be juice, soda, more alcohol, or even pickle juice

Hard liquor is generally sold in stores as shots (tiny bottles), fifths, liters, and handles or in ml (50, 100, 200 etc)

Most people can’t finish an entire fifth of hard liquor (vodka, etc) on their own without being very ill

Conversely, many people can finish an entire bottle of wine on their own without being ill

Liquor can be “bottom shelf” or “rail” or “well” -- all synonyms for the cheapest version of alcohol a bartender has. Bars generally keep several “levels” of alcohol stocked

You order a drink with the alcohol first, then the mix -- e.g., a “vodka soda” or a “Tito’s and tonic”

When you “close out a tab”, you pay for all of the drinks you’ve had that night. Either the bartender already has your card (you “opened a tab” earlier) or it was quiet enough that they just kept an eye on you and tallied your bill up at the end

“Doubles” are drinks or shots with double the standard pour of alcohol

In the US, most shots (pours) are 1.5 oz by default. 

Mixed drinks (gin and tonic, vodka lemonade, cosmos, etc) are generally made up of 1-2 shots and a mixer 

If you don’t specify which type of alcohol you’d like in a mixed drink (vodka cranberry, for example) the bartender will put whatever the “house” liquor is -- and this depends entirely on the establishment. A dive bar will pour rail by default, whereas a nicer tavern might make all vodka cranberries with Tito’s

PLEASE TIP YOUR BARTENDERS THEY WILL REMEMBER YOU I PROMISE

#especially if you throw up #please tip the hell out of your bartenders they have amazing memories #tips #writing tips #writing #fic #fic tips #fic ideas #alcohol #tw: alcohol #cw: alcohol #fandom #tips for newbie writers #or people who don't drink #but want to write about a bar scene #these are just some points I think are handy #and aren't really taught anywhere #they're just sort of learned along the way #am I missing anything? #add to this

[ara-line]

Stop glorifying the suicide of that US airman.

He grew up in a cult and never really left behind the mindset of that cult, even if his beliefs on the political spectrum shifted. According to a former member of the cult, it was common for members to leave and end up in the military. She described it as "going from one high control group to another" in the WaPo article linked.

In short, he never got help that he clearly needed. And from what I've heard about the military, his time in it may have worsened whatever issues he already had.

His suicide is a bigger reflection of this very strange pattern on the left to glorify self harm since others are suffering. It's one thing to see children in a playground and think about how there are children in refugee camps who don't get to enjoy those freedoms. This is another thing. Bushnell, unlike many other cases of self-immolation (ie the self immolation of Mohamed Bouazizi, the man whose death kickstarted the Arab Spring) was not directly affected by the bombings in Gaza. Yet he chose an extreme route that even those affected by the situation, whether through being related to the Israeli hostages or through having family in Gaza, would not go to. This is a reflection of a larger trend on this website of self punishment and forcing every last gory detail of horrific events on yourself because of a) this feeling of powerlessness over not being able to do much about the situation and b) wanting to show how much of a good leftist you are because you will subject yourself to horrific violence to show how much you care. In reality, it is mental self-destruction. I've seen this behaviour in true crime communities as well.

I think a lot of the leftists on this site grew up in conservative environments where it's all or nothing right wing extremism. Thus, much like Bushnell, their political beliefs have shifted, but not their mindset. That's why so many people on this site are glorifying his suicide.

The reason newspaper headlines aren't mentioning his name is because we already know many school shooters do what they do for infamy. Therefore, by not mentioning their names, the media wants to avoid copycats. It's the same line of thinking here. It's got nothing to do with Zionism, according to some people who probably had no idea what that is before Oct 7 and not now, controlling the media. No, Zionists do not control the news cycle. You're perpetuating antisemitism when you say that.

Inevitably, since people on this site have piss on the poor reading comprehension, I expect this post to go over well. If you're going to tell me to kill myself, just know that you will be blocked and reported. Any dialogue ended the moment you decided that was acceptable.

#on society #palestine #israel #stop making the left look bad you donkeys #aaron bushnell #tw #signal boost #kindly: please get a job. Some of you need to spend more time interacting with humans offline #or at least get a hobby im begging you #not jewish but tagging this as #jumblr #because i want as many people as possible to read this #leftist antisemitism #antisemitism #free palestine #free gaza #again with wanting people to read this and just stop and think about what they're posting for one moment

[probably-not-a-rutabaga]

the farmhouse

tw!! implied s/h

this has been on my mind since i started planning the farmhouse arc,,, was just a little nervous to actually do anything with it

#rutabaga art #tmnt aberration #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt iteration #tmnt raph #tmnt mikey #tw sh implied #tw sh #PLEASE LMK IF I NEED TO BE MORE SPECIFIC WITH TAGS OR ADD MORE WARNINGS #i wanna do everything i can to make sure people can still enjoy aberration even if this is smth that makes them uncomfortable- yk???

[unclewaynemunson]

CW for body issues and negative thoughts surrounding weight gaining

Cold autumn air has fallen over Hawkins for the first time in months. Steve reaches into the back of his closet to find his favorite sweater, the dark red one that his grandmother made him when he was in his junior year. The wool still feels just as soft in his hands as it was last year.

He pulls it over his head, welcoming the warmth it immediately gives off around him, but it feels tighter than he remembers it being. He pulls and adjusts the fabric, then gives himself a critical look in the mirror, and - fuck. It must've shrunk somehow. He messed up his favorite sweater.

But... The last time he wore it, on that one cold night at the end of April, it still fit him perfectly. He remembers that night clearly: they were all sitting around a campfire in the trailer park for Wayne's birthday, and Eddie had kept looking at him like that sweater was causing all kinds of unholy thoughts - partly the reason why it's Steve's favorite.

The sweater can't possibly have shrunk lying unused in the back of his closet for months. It didn't shrink; Steve has grown.

Suddenly, he looks at himself in the mirror and sees a whole other person. He zeroes in on all kinds of details he had never paid much attention to before, and he wonders how he could've ever missed what was happening to him: his expanding belly, the fat that has gathered around his hips, his stretched-out thighs... His upper legs are looking more chubby than muscled now that he stopped swimming regularly, and his sweater is tight around his upper arms and too narrow over his belly, the imprint of his belly button clearly visible in the stretched-out fabric.

He has no idea for how long he has been staring at himself when the bedroom door opens and Eddie comes in, still roughly brushing a towel over his wet hair. He's wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. Again, Steve wonders how he could ever have missed the way his body changed, especially next to Eddie: Eddie, who has always been lean, on the verge of being scrawny, his ribs almost visible underneath his tattooed skin and not a single curve in sight.

Eddie freezes in his tracks when he notices Steve, his eyes hovering over the red sweater. Steve feels caught, exposed under Eddie's gaze. He must be coming to the same conclusion that Steve had reached a minute before: that Steve's best days are behind him. That he's getting fat and that his body will only deteriorate further from now on. That he stopped taking good care of himself. That he's only going to get uglier with age.

'Sorry,' he's quick to say when Eddie won't stop staring. He turns his body away from Eddie's gaze, and starts rummaging around in his closet to find something with a looser fit. 'I didn't realize it wouldn't fit anymore, I'm gonna get changed right away. I suppose the red isn't really your color, but you can have it if you want to, I'm sure it'll fit you perfectly.'

He feels hands grabbing the underside of the sweater from behind.

'No.'

'What?'

He turns around, facing Eddie again, who now fists his hands into the sides of the fabric instead.

'Don't you dare take this off. Only one person is allowed to do that from now on, and that person is me.' There's a look in Eddie's eyes that Steve only recognizes from very different settings, like when he used to get home after a run all sweaty, or when one of them sinks to his knees in front of the other.

'What is happening?' he mumbles under his breath.

'You, in this tight sweater?' Eddie's voice is low and breathy. 'You are a fucking dream, Steve Harrington.'

Steve takes a step backwards, but Eddie's hands stay plastered right where they are.

'Are you making a fool of me?'

Eddie frowns and he finally lets his grip on Steve's sweater go.

'Why would you think that?'

Steve huffs, needlessly gestures to his own body. 'I look ridiculous!' he points out, unable to keep the frustration out of his voice. 'It doesn't fit anymore, I let myself get fat, I'm getting old and ugly, I–'

With one step, Eddie is right in front of Steve again, shutting him up by placing his index finger against Steve's lips.

'Not another word,' he says. 'I don't want to hear you talk like that about yourself ever again. You got it all wrong, you know. I mean, don't get me wrong, you were already hella sexy in your jock days, but your soft pillow belly is, like, the closest one can get to heaven here on earth.'

It should be too much, it should sound insincere because of how dramatic it is - but Steve is used to Eddie's dramatics and he can see that Eddie is being one hundred percent serious right now.

'You are the sexiest man I know, and every pound you've gained is a beautiful one. You are gorgeous, Steve – and you will keep being gorgeous and sexy in every shape you'll get.' His hands are roaming over Steve's sweater again, comforting and hungry at the same time. 'I do have to ask you not to wear this sweater outside of our house, though. It'll cause riots. People might die because of it.'

He looks dead serious saying it, and Steve can't help but laugh before he tugs Eddie closer and presses their lips together.

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #i saw people wanted the s2 red sweater to make an appearance again so here we go i guess #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #fruity ficlet #tw body issues #tw body image #tw weight #(lemme know if i forgot a tw please)

[uncanny-tranny]

Don't get me wrong, I think it's perfectly acceptable that trans people don't always have certain surgeries and procedures, but I think something is to be said about the amount of trans people I have seen bash a certain gender-affirming procedure.

It's totally fine to not want some or any surgeries, but it's still transphobic to say "I think the results are ugly/look mutilated" or that trans surgery is "rudimentary" or "experimental" - even if you're also trans.

The idea that certain gender-affirming surgeries are mutilation or experimental is a classic form of transphobia, so it really does hurt seeing other trans people propelling those same talking points.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i dunno i just want to find resources for gender-affirming care without hearing how my body is mutilated and gross #transphobia #transphobia tw #cis people can look but don't touch please #gender-affirming care is very much not experimental

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

I’m tired of autistic people being blamed for being blamed for being bullied…

Neurodivergent_lou

#autism #actually autistic #autism and being bullied #please don’t bully ND people #tw ableism #tw bullying #how bullying affects autistic people #autism and self esteem #autism awareness #autism acceptance #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent_lou (Facebook)

[legendoftherisingtide]

i am so sorry for the trans folk living in the uk. no matter if you’re fully transitioned, an adult, a minor, this has affected you and i am so so sorry. i know how scary it is right now and this shit has not made it any better.

trans people all around the world see you and hear you. in fact, even non-trans people, allies, professionals, people out of the community, all see you and know how wrong this is.

The world is not all against you. Please believe that there is hope. Because there is. Please keep yourself safe and please take care of yourself to the best of your abilities. You breathing is proof that you deserve to be here. You deserve to be here. You truly do.

Please. Be as okay as you can be right now.

#this post is meant to be a reminder to stay as safe as people can #I don’t know who this will reach. or if it will do anything at all #but i hope it reaches someone:) #I also tried to use the least triggering language possible but if it comes off as anything please tell me /srs #transphobia #tw transphobia #cass review #cass report #trans #trans rights #<- I don’t want to flood with negativity. but I’ve seen stuff being tagged like this so I will

[whaliiwatching]

memes in defiance of valentine’s day

(blood & artistic nudity under readmore)

#spider man: across the spider verse #spider punk #spider noir #hobie brown #noirpunk #hot bloody transmasc peter under cut #not doing anything risqué tho sorry lol #hobie brown’s spider getup includes four inch platforms thats why hes tall only when hes masked #otherwise theyre 5’8 which is still tall but not compared to their GIANT PARTNER whom they LOVE #did you know theyre so in love did you did you #that last no-color sketch is actually transfem peter but i dont think too many people will pick up on that #oh well. i do my work regardless of praise #(not true please love me) #these were a lot of fun and i do have more to post hehe #tw blood

[meekusleekus]

"Hi Pyro- oh! Yeah... it's good to see you too!"

(click for better quality!)

More of these silly goobers :)

#meekus art #tf2 #pyropauling #tf2 pyro #tf2 miss pauling #miss pauling #missfire #tf2 misfire #tf2 ms pauling #tf2 fanart #cesium #tw bright color #bright colors #let miss pauling be a flustered mess every now and then please #this is how I cope with barely any official content of her in game #headcanon that pyro likes to scoop up his favorite people

[stressfulsloth]

I really do think it's interesting that the way DE discusses ableism gets ignored by a lot of the fanbase. Because Harry is undeniably disabled and that's a core conflict of the game. He's living in an impossible situation that so many disabled people get caught in; he's physically disabled, even more so by the end of the game after being shot, but even at the beginning of the game he struggles with nerve damage, post-polio syndrome, partial paralysis in his jaw, withdrawals, and that's not even starting on the mental illness. He is sick and cannot ever properly heal under these circumstances because he cannot stop moving forward or he will start to sink. He's living in poverty. He has no safety net. No way out of the RCM. That night in Martinaise before the beginning of the game, he tries to quit- throw everything away. He tries to end his own life and drive his car into the sea because he cannot fathom a future where he's able to get out of this alive when he's so intrinsically bound to this abusive institution that he can't escape from.

And then comes Jean, deliberately forbidding anyone from jogging Harry's memory out of spite and anger, refusing to allow anyone else to help, calling him a fucking idiot and a psychopath, asking if he can go to the toilet on his own, telling him that he doesn't deserve his disability pension because it should go to cops who gave a shit instead (nevermind that Harry has been working at burnout pace for years, he's an addict so his contributions are essentially worthless, right?). He has a conversation with Judit, right in front of Harry, on whether or not he has learning disabilities.

This guy is a very interesting character! And I'm not denying that he's likely dealt with consequences at work from Harry's illness. But he also fulfils the narrative role of being a mouthpiece for the suspicion and even outright aggression that addicts face even while trying to recover. He fulfils the role of a representative of the RCM, with the ability to approve or deny Harry’s return and in turn essentially sentence him to a slow death in the seaside village. He is not there to help; he is there to judge and observe, and then blame Harry when things go bad even though his inaction is at least in part responsible for the deaths during the tribunal. And this is all very deliberate! The RCM, and by extension the Coalition, as an organisation is failing both its officers and its citizens- Jean, by extension, is one of the officers being failed! They are underfunded, overstretched, overworked, and shouldn't even exist in the first place. The expectation on partnered officers to provide emotional support to each other is ridiculous. But instead of directing his anger upwards towards the Coalition airships or superiors at the RCM, he directs it outwards, towards 'the liberals' or towards Harry, who as a disabled addict is a pretty convenient punching bag.

His vitriol towards Harry is not supposed to be sympathetic! At least the way I read it, you're not meant to look at him and think 'oh wow Harry's struggle has been so hard for him.' You're meant to question his language, to think more deeply about how society treats addicts, how punitive measures are never going to help someone get sober, about the importance of safety nets.

#disco elysium #idk man its the social murder game people keep saying this #this is not to say that youre never meant to sympathise with jean or question Harry's actions either #like clearly pre-martinaise harry did some pretty terrible things that's undeniable #but can we do some more blaming the occupying government and structural issues for Jean's issues #and less villanising one of the best portrayals of addiction that ive seen in a long time? #please? #harry du bois #personal #suicide tw #DE rambling

[belovedcarrion]

I hope that the teen wolf fandom has a sudden revival so that people can start writing new fics that aren't stuck in the mid-2000s found family dynamics that for some reason make Stiles into pack mom

like god it was one thing when I was reading it in a vacuum, but now that I've watched the show and actually understand Stiles and Derek as Characters it drives me crazy

I just want some freak4freak Sterek not this pack mom and dad bullshit. Derek grew up in a shack and doesn't understand how to act like a person and thinks his terrible jokes are the funniest and Stiles just gives off Serial Killer Waiting To Happen like no one else and the only reason he hasn't been put on All The Watchlists is because his dad is the sheriff

please let them be freaks together like they truly deserve

#my ramblings #please i just want to be able to read tw fics again #theyre both such disaster but for some reason people keep making one or both of them emotionally competent #its infuriating #teen wolf #derek hale #stiles stilinski #freak4freak #sterek

[weepingfishturtledragon]

Imagine if a villain was able to infiltrate Captain Marvel's mind and the Justice League had to go into his mind to save him. When they go in, they're greeted by two doors. One door is huge, made of marble and has delicate details carved in and the other is a small broken old wooden door with graffiti barely holding on to its hinges.

First, they enter the marble door and are transported into a battlefield with many of the old avatars of Shazam, all fighting monsters that seem to be trying to get to an orb of pure magic. With the help of the league, the monsters retreat for some time, but not forever. One of the past avatars tells the justice league that they need Captain Marvel to be able to stop the fight, but in order to do that, they need to find Billy Batson.

The team is sent back through the marble door to go through the wooden one. When they enter, they see a room in an abandoned building with very little inside and see a mirage of a little boy. They try to touch him but their hands go straight through, the boy starts to move to the door to leave and the team follows. They keep doing this, learning about Billy's life by going back in time to CPS meetings, foster homes, Billy's uncle's place, and finally to his family's home.

Where they see Billy's family and where Billy can see and interact with them, not as a mirage but his actual conscience. He's obviously reluctant to go, but they convince him it's what he needs to do. He goes back with them, reunited with the power where it fuses with him to create Captain Marvel and defeats the monsters, returning everything back to normal.

#billy batson #shazam #dc comcis #captain marvel #dc captain marvel #justice league #fanifiction idea #Billy and Captain Marvel are different people #Justice League discovering Cap's identity #the former avatars got his back #protect the baby boy #little bit of angst #tw long post #please ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes

[macfrog]

hellooo. i try to keep my blog free from this kind of discussion for a multitude of reasons, but i am quickly finding myself unable to hold my tongue and recently, this has become impossible to ignore.

i am fully aware as a writer that i will unavoidably create characters, situations, and plots that not every reader will agree with or like all of the time. i love this part of it! i love to hear what you think, who you're vibing with, what you hope or even fear might happen. so long as we're respectful about it, open conversation (kindness and constructive criticism!) is one of my favorite parts of reading and writing.

but, please, let me make one thing very, very clear:

if your reaction to a decision that any of my characters make, is to comment telling me that you want to physically assault them over it - remove yourself from my blog. exit the fic, unfollow me, block me if you think it'll stop you from commenting something so repulsive and downright triggering.

i've deleted i think seven comments so far across both tumblr and ao3 which, at best, were plain rude, and at worst, were pretty fucking triggering to read. these comments were all, incidentally, directed at only the women in the fics. zero of my male characters have ever been attacked with such vitriol and hostility. i'm not cool with that. do not come on my blog with that attitude.

i have no problem with anyone disagreeing with something in my fic, but please remember that things like physical violence are not jokes, they're not quirky reactions to silly twists in stories, and they're not fucking welcome on my blog.

#please remember that this community exists to provide escapism and safety for people #and that anyone might read your ‘funny’ reply about wanting to slap women #this is a safe space. idk how many times i have to fucking say it #tw discourse #tw violence #tw dv #makes me ill that i even have to post something like this