#I’d feel so broken and sad. This world just isn’t the same without you
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Hi! Can I request a fic where the fem!reader helps Luffy to deal with the trauma of losing his brother?
omg first fic after i randomly left for 2 months!! but im back to writing angst again im in an angst phase
also i ended up not specifying anything gendered for reader, hope that’s chill that it’s x gn! i mostly reserve gendered language for smut
wake up @nina-ya i finished the fic i said i’d finish 2 months ago
nightmares - luffy x gn!reader
angst, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending
❕SPOILERS FOR MARINEFORD❕
summary: the trauma of marineford gives luffy nightmares, and you need to comfort him while he’s vulnerable and scared
contains: luffy in a distressing emotional situation, luffy is traumatized, references to marineford/ace’s death/timeskip
words: 2k
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Luffy never used to remember his dreams. They were hazy and soft, they made him feel warm and fuzzy when he woke up, he would stretch and yawn and they’d go away so fast and so gently like butterflies flying away. And then he’d see you and hold you and kiss you until you were awake too, as excited to see you and his heart so warm and full of love.
And you were there to enjoy his dreams, he was a noisy sleeper who mumbled happy little thoughts unintelligibly into your neck, he would kick and pinch and squeeze in his sleep which you had to learn to live with because he couldn’t go to sleep without a hug and you’d be the one to give it to him all night. But he’d often end up moving and rolling around, tangling himself uncomfortably, protective instincts kicking in he'd get on top of you and lay there, starfish. When he awoke in the night he’d assume his most comfortable and close position with lazy kisses. He was so, so happy every night.
That was two years ago.
He’s still the same boy he was then, still giving you all those awkward little affections during the night that you missed so much while you were away. But now there’s more. Now, sometimes, he has nightmares. Awful ones that torment him every so often and make him upset and sad when he awakes in the dark, make him begin to cry when he realizes you aren’t in his arms anymore. You always pray for nights when he’s calm like he used to be, you make sure to massage him and kiss him as he falls asleep to coax those good dreams back and help him heal. Of course those years ago he’d get upset and scared and sometimes he wouldn’t feel well when he woke up, but that was so rare, that was when something bad had just happened and he was very stressed but it was so rare because he was so, so happy.
Luffy’s happy now, too. He hasn’t changed much, really, still an excitable, bouncy kid, always smiling, but now you have to worry about the night. You have to worry about dark thoughts and memories bubbling over when he’s most vulnerable until his body shakes and even your affection is barely enough. This is terrible for you, so unbearably terrible. You have to learn how to soothe something broken, something you love with every fraction of your shattered heart.
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You’re asleep, a dull, unbreakable sleep, you’d curled up in Luffy’s arms when it was time for bed and you’d cuddled together and giggled and kissed until you both fell asleep in a joyful pile. Now you’re so content, you don’t even notice how Luffy had accidentally rolled away from you in the night, sheets all tangled up with you and keeping a distracting warmth.
Luffy’s dream isn’t bad at first. It’s the kind where you’re not quite there, floating above the world in just a dull picture, no sound or feeling or touch. It’s just the ocean, a bird over the sea. But suddenly the ocean is stone and the sky is fire and he’s disoriented, where is he? What’s happening? He looks at his hands and they’re red and he’s frozen in fear like you sometimes are in nightmares. He knows in his fractured, cloudy little mind that something bad is going to happen and he’s going to see that picture again. A thousand flashbulb memories are going to explode at once, in fire. In the waking world in bed he’s twitching and sweating and his eyes are shifting furiously beneath his lids, and you don’t know, you aren’t there to hold him.
Ace. Ace’s smile and his soft black eyes and they’re playing in the jungle together and running and running and now that’s gone, the fire’s back. It all happens at once, so much blood, holding something fading and dying. Heartsick over a goodbye. It’s one of those nightmares where you cry and scream so much and as loud as you can because everything’s happening to you at once, but you can’t make any sound, you’re just in a tidal wave of amplified agony. And that’s how Luffy lives in this moment, unable to make out much of anything except darkness and pain, shaking and overheating in his sleep.
But the anguish bursts all around him and then suddenly the fire’s gone and everything is quiet again and Luffy’s awake, tangled uncomfortably in the blankets, face covered in tears. He can’t catch his breath and his mind is full and blurry and empty all at once. Suddenly the darkness of the cabin is all encompassing, sickly, he wants it to be day again and for the world to feel safe and happy and oh, where are you?
Fear squeezes his heart as he tries to find you in the darkness, are you gone? He can’t handle being alone right now, he can’t do this, he searches with his hands in the dark and cries and feels the panic burning a hole in his stomach but finally he turns to his left and there you are. Sleeping. Despite all of this you’re still sleeping, curled up and breathing slowly, unaware and at peace. Luffy wants to wake you up so badly because he doesn’t want to be alone but he doesn’t want to worry you.
So he climbs into your arms and breathes you in. He buries his face in your chest and tries to calm his injured heart.
Biting his lip and shaking he tries so hard not to cry. He can’t bother you, he knows you’ll be sad and worried which he really doesn’t want. But his whole body hurts, he wants your arms to be tighter, he squeezes and squeezes begging silently for relief and for everything to go away but it wasn’t just a night terror it was a memory and memories don’t just go away. So he cries.
You’re stirred from sleep because the sound of Luffy crying is the worst thing you could possibly hear, a thousand of your own memories are brought back and some deep instinct is triggered within you, pulling you, you wake up immediately and the first thing you do is get on top of him and lock him in your arms, trying to breathe slowly so he will too.
He twitches beneath you, cloudy realization that he’s no longer alone. His arms are around you, fingers digging in, sharp pain, he’s trying so hard to make his tears stop as you hold him and stroke his face. But he’s a possessive, needy boyfriend who’s comforted by protecting who he loves. He sits up, taking you with him, he wraps his arms around you tighter and tighter and then his legs. He’s breathing heavily on your face, eyes closed, sad still but resilient. You’re pinned to him, unable to move, but you massage the tension out of his back and shoulders as best you can.
“Did you have a nightmare?” you whisper and he nods against you and holds you even tighter if that’s possible, “…do you wanna talk about it?”
So he nods very gently but he doesn’t say anything. His hands are twitching against you, scratching at your back in leftover desperation.
“Was it about him?”
Luffy leans against you, hopeless and drained, you don’t need him to answer so you just press your cheek against his and pet his hair. And his shoulders shake as he cries silently in your arms.
You rest there for a few minutes, unable to do much other than just hold him, and he whispers in your ear, “I miss him so much.” Which wets your eyes because there’s so much pain in those five words. His voice is breathy, far away.
“I know, Lu… I’m sorry.” You’re not good at this, you think. You never really know what to say because this goes deeper than words can touch.
Luffy bites his lips. He doesn’t want to cause you pain and knowing that he is, it’s just piling on top of his despair. There’s so many times he’s oblivious to how you’re feeling but when things are broken, when you’re in distress, reality tugs at the inside of his heart.
“I’ve got you,” you whisper, fingers in his hair, you kiss his neck gently and the warmth is getting through to him, so gradually.
“I want him here. I just…” Luffy’s voice is breaking. And you taste fresh tears as you move your lips higher. “I miss him,” he says again.
“I know how much he meant to you. Hey, Luffy…” The slow rise and fall of your chest is slowly steadier his breath now. He looks up at you, that sadness in his eyes is almost too painful to handle but you look at him anyways, eye contact with something beautiful soothes his soul. “He’d be so proud of you. And how strong you are.”
He’s heard this before. Luffy sniffles, he knows it’s true but only so much of that can help.
“He’d be proud of you, because you never gave up, right? You kept going and you got stronger.” And you’re not talking about his physical strength, really. You tap the side of his head gently. “Up here.”
Luffy nods subtly, his tears are stopping slowly as he clings to the comfort of your words, his greatest comfort in the world is protecting people he loves, being there for someone. He’s still guilt ridden at letting his brother die for him but as long as he keeps living he’s living for Ace, honoring him, being there for him even if he’s gone.
And that’s what you say next, reading his mind. “What matters is that you’re alive. You didn’t let what he did for you go to waste, he’d be so proud of that. This is exactly what he wanted, yeah?” Your hands trace circles on Luffy’s back as you feel him relax very slowly.
“I’m so happy you’re still here,” you whisper right in his ear.
“Mhm…” Luffy’s lips find yours, hovering, just touching you. “I’m not letting you go, ‘kay?” His words are so deep and genuine. There’s heartache there but an impenetrable love, most of all. His arms are flexed around your body, he’s squeezing you and it’s almost uncomfortable but you have to let him right now.
“I’m not going anywhere.” You manage a smile which makes him smile too.
It seemed impossible for Luffy to get even more loving but he definitely was when you saw him again. You’re the one who’s getting it all, all the affection he wanted to give to his brother.
“You wanna hang out for a while?” You offer because you’re scared to let him sleep again. “It’s ok to stay up. If you’re tired tomorrow I’ll take a nap with you.”
He likes that idea. Maybe you’ll get something to eat, even take a walk on the deck if it’s not too cold. He just wants your company. He wants to spend as much time with you as he physically can to make up for everything and to show you how much love he has to give.
“I love you, mh, let’s stay up an’ hang out,” his words are quiet and gravelly from sleep and tears but what matters is he’s smiling now. He’s back to living in the moment tonight, and you’re his moment.
The next morning he’ll be completely back to himself. He’ll kiss you good morning but he’ll act like the night never happened, probably, because it’s nicer to be happy and enjoy the day. He has you, he knows everything’s going to be alright.
#luffy x reader angst#luffy x reader#one piece#luffy#one piece x reader#one piece fanfiction#luffy x y/n#luffy x you#luffy x gn!reader#luffy angst#one piece angst
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allow me to dive into the haley gets lonely and eventually cheats discourse (she cheated to me bc you’re right, anyone else wouldn’t have hung up the home phone the instant Aaron picks up)
haley knew before they had Jack what Aaron was like. She knew he loved his job and he felt a sense of responsibility to every victim and every case and that he CHANGED CAREERS FROM LAW TO CRIMINOLOGY because he so deeply wanted to be making a real difference. Both of those careers have equally insane hours and she knew that. Like admittedly my own jealousy of Haley bleeds into this conversation A LOT.
But I almost think she had the baby as an attempt to get Aaron to change, but she knew he wouldn’t. I think Jack was Haley’s attempt to get Aaron to change jobs and be there for her more, and for their son more, and it failed. Because Aaron is still the noble, chivalrous, never-give-up, determined man she met and married all those years ago. He was never going to change to be anybody but himself. Obviously he did at times in his career try to change courses for Jack but the reality is Haley knew her husband. She knew he loves his job and that it gives him all his sense of purpose and accomplishment in the world.
I also think that they both knew it was over when Haley started giving him ultimatums, before she moved out I really think Aaron knew that no amount of early nights or homestay cases would bring Haley back to him, she was already walking away. The phone ringing scene is just the straw that broke that camels back in my opinion. That was the nail in the coffin of their marriage for me, that was when Aaron knew that no matter how hard he would try to be home and be present in Haley and Jack’s lives, nothing could fix what she had already decided to do. She was walking away. whether that was another man or a divorce attorney or a girlfriend wanting to dish about haleys husband, she was hiding things from him.
hiii rome!! 🫶🏻
the theory that they had jack to save their marriage honestly makes a lot of sense to me. aaron was fully dedicated to his job since day one and without jack i feel like it would be even harder for haley to get him to be around more. but in the end the result was the same.
when i blame haley it’s mostly bc like you said i’m jealous of her, and also bc i love aaron sooo so much, so i’m always on his side :( but if i want to be real, i get her. i watched that episode the other day where she was sick, while being pregnant and was talking with aaron on the phone. she was super sweet, not blaming him for not being with her. imagine being pregnant and feeling sick and your husband isn’t there to comfort you bc he’s working. i would be crying.
or when he was supposed to take a few days off when the team went on vacation in season 1, but then he had to leave way too soon. i just try to put myself in her shoes and i know i would be so excited, making plans about all the things we would do together. excited that we’d get to cuddle and sleep together and wake up in each other’s arms. and then he left. i’d be so sad and disappointed. or when he literally forgot about jack being sick and at the hospital?
i love aaron more than anything but the truth is he made mistakes too. he loved them - i know he did! but i understand that it hurt not having around the person you’re supposed to do life with.
but the thing is i wouldn’t cheat. cheating is just the worst form of betrayal :/ she should have just ended things. even if she didn’t cheat the whole secrets/weird phone calls thing just shows there wasn’t trust between them. like that’s your husband. it felt like something was broken between them after this and it would never be the way it was before again.
oh also. not letting him see jack? that’s just a no. the only scenario this would make sense would be if he was abusive. but aaron loves jack so much and that was just a terrible punishment.
aaron loving his job as much as he does really is who he is. and she knew this man since they were teenagers. she knew him. so even if he switched careers, she still should have known. but i think she expected him to change. which would never happen. not even their kid changed that.
i could keep going but the truth is haley is not my favourite but it’s mostly because i simply don’t like seeing aaron in love with someone else 💀 (same reason i feel unwell when i see him with beth). but i would be lying if i said i don’t understand her. if aaron was real i’d wanna be around him all the time. i’d want all his love and attention. and if he left me all alone at home running back to his team every time i thought i’f have him all to myself, i would be heartbroken.
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@megfeiny left this comment on one of my posts:
“If you're up for it, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the Lucia scene in S1.E5. Simon's exasperation combined with his inability to resist Wilhelm's vulnerability is so powerful. And that hug!!! Oh my god. I have no words. It's just beautiful.”
So I thought I’d write a little installment of my intimate scene analysis series about this scene. (You can find the other posts in this series here, here, and here). I was especially interested to revisit it because I know some people really love it, but I haven’t really thought about it separate from the other things going on in that episode before. So let’s dive in and see what we can discover.
The atmosphere of this scene is really off the charts, isn’t it? Sometimes I feel like a broken record talking about the beautiful lighting in all of the intimate scenes but it’s incredible here. I like that there are some candles lit on the windowsill of the classroom, giving an in-universe light source so it feels natural. But there’s also no way just a few candles could create such a soft, golden effect across the entire classroom. So hats off to the cinematographer for making the lighting feel both realistic and heightened at once. I love the way it transforms the classroom, which has often been a place where the differences between Simon and Wilhelm are reinforced (think about Simon realizing he has to basically bribe the teacher to give him the same grades as the rich kids) into a private sanctuary where they are equals.
I think it’s worth pointing out too that this scene isn’t without its strife; I think you can tell that Simon especially feels conflicted about Alexander taking the blame for the drugs. But as @megfeiny points out, Wilhelm’s total emotional vulnerability is what allows Simon to still connect to him, despite those conflicting feelings. And the way that the classroom feels out of time, separated from the rest of the school, reinforces that this is the only place that Wilhelm feels like he can be that vulnerable.
The image of both boys in their Lucia gowns is also really striking. They look like angels, which reinforces the idea that they’re in their own sacred world. White is also the color of innocence, and the gowns have very childish looking collars. This is the last moment of innocence that Wilhelm and Simon have together before the video. I also think it’s significant that everyone is wearing a Lucia gown in this episode except August. I am not Swedish and am not super familiar with the Lucia tradition, but I know it’s about bringing light in the long, dark winter. That’s a thing that Wilhelm and Simon are both about to need, and August is the one causing the darkness in their lives.
I’ve already written about the needle drop used here, Samurai Swords, in my post about the music in the show. But I love how it seems to apply to both Wilhelm and Simon and August, and how its melody really captures the sadness and desperation of the scene.
I also think one of the reasons this scene is so effective is the editing. The way it cuts back and forth between Wilmon and August uploading the video creates a sense of urgency. These two events are happening at the same time, and we can feel Wilhelm and Simon’s time together running out. I also love how Sara and Felice both have significant scenes in this sequence as well (Sara seeing August, Felice giving Sara the role of Lucia). This is one of the moments where all five characters feel perfectly balanced. (Another editing/camera thing that I love, that isn’t about Wilhelm/Simon: the slow push into Sara watching August upload the video through the door of the library. It lets us feel the emotional and physical distance between Sara and August in that moment, but also captures her curiosity and his feeling of doom at being caught).
I also just have to shout out Edvin and Omar’s acting in this scene. The way Simon sighs with frustration when Wilhelm says that Simon is “the only person here he can actually talk to” even as he stands up to embrace him, and the way that Wilhelm is kind of shrunk into himself from all the stress, is just so well done. And of course the way they’re hanging on to each other for dear life in that hug is so affecting.
I think those are all of my thoughts! If you have another scene you want me to look at in more depth, my ask box is open.
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Some Thoughts About Saints Row 2022
Some thoughts about… Saints Row (2022)
Despite being a big big fan of Saints Row the Third and 4 (and finding Gat Out of Hell… tolerable, since you could play as Kinzie), the previews for the new Saints Row series did not grab me. The trailers lacked style, substance, or humor and the new cast felt like they were rejected from a Ubisoft game. But the sales are here now, so I gave SR a chance!
To get the big complaint out in the open from the beginning, the new Saints Row doesn’t try to really do anything exciting. No interesting story, characters, or game mechanics. It’s a very tried and true open world crime game that won’t rock the boat or surprise you. And that’s not inherently an awful thing. However, because it isn’t daring and sticks to the basics so heavily, all the broken and bad things in it really stand out. I tried to not make my write-up just pages of every bug, bad decision, poor balancing, or janky bit I came across, but I think that because the game is so by-the-numbers, calling all that out is really important. If the game had been daring, really tried for something new, or gone all out, I’d have been so much more forgiving of its problems. But because it’s so plain AND they couldn’t execute on that without so many problems, I’m fine calling out its many faults.
Boss creation is less cartoony and more limited, despite having tons of options but mostly for stuff that doesn’t lend itself for a character I want to be. The inclusion of prosthetics is great, but I don’t need fantastical skin textures or materials. Having a thousand options doesn’t matter if only 2 of them are good. And despite all the work, the Boss still comes out wrinkly and veiny or their face looks distorted in some cutscenes. My boss got stuck with a permanently angry face after completing a mission and it only went away after reloading the game.
I made my character in the Boss Factory app, started playing the game, unlocked a new clothing item by completing a challenge, for some reason this removed all the custom colors on my outfit (a bug that occurs EVERY time you buy a clothing item), I remade my outfit but didn’t have the clothing options from the app so it’s a worse outfit, saved it so I didn’t have to do that again, and it wrote over the Boss I made in the app so I lost it and that clothing. The clothing options feel a lot less varied and interesting than before and you don’t have access to certain shops until the final third of the game, so all the time spent customizing things and having them constantly be deleted just feels so much more wasteful because at the end of the day, your boss isn’t going to have any cool styles anyway.
While it does get better, SR suffers from a really weak opening. Your first few missions have too much combat with really weak and uninteresting weapons so the opening sections drag on. It takes so long to get to anything interesting, that you’re given some strong vibes that maybe, there just won’t be anything that is new and interesting to come. The new characters stink. I hated 2/3s of the crew from the start and Neenah only got a pass because the game doesn’t really do much with her beyond “she’s good with cars and like art”. I’m not sure who the writers were trying to appeal to, but Eli and Kev are extremely unappealing people, your Boss is a severely watered down version of Bosses past, and the supporting cast are lots of one-note characters that mainly exist for gameplay reasons so missions have somebody for you to fight. The game treats all of it as fluff, repeating the same one-note jokes for each crew member, but then there are a few moments where the game tries to pull out a sad backstory and it… just does not earn any of it. The scenes fall so flat and the game almost acknowledges that because it gives you the “sad” moment and then never brings it up again and dangles the next action mission at you. Neenah had a sad reason for coming to Santo Ileso, right? Aaanyway, you just completed a challenge and earned a perk, and go check your phone for a new mission! Kev had a sad childhood, eh? Hey, here’s a trophy and go check your phone for a new mission!
The events that kick off the formation of the Saints don't make sense if they're played straight. I spent most of the game thinking we’d be uncovering a setup and trying to figure out who was running the double-cross, and then getting annoyed that none of the characters were investigating it. But then... nope. Played straight. It's just bad writing.
That’s not to say there isn’t funny content in the game, it’s just few and far between and when it does get a genuine laugh, it makes you sad that there are writers here that clearly understand actual comedy and so much of the game is… less than that. There are little snippits like seeing the horrible board game the crew plays and they are exactly the kind of insufferable people that would play board games like that. Then your crew’s reaction to watching footage of your Boss doing her thing and “being good at murder”. Or the lady on the bounty hunter app that you help shoot her husband. Or when the bounty hunter app is turned against you and NPCs in the city start trying to murder you. There’s funny material buried in all the bland stuff, but the funny bits are still outnumbered by, ugh, just the lamest reference-based humor and awful characters. There’s a veeery extended Portal/Still Alive joke in the game if you need an idea how outdated the writing is.
There’s good story potential about gig economy gangsters, franchising, and the corporatization of crime, but the game doesn’t go for it. There’s a late game deconstruction of your Boss having to deal with somebody that acts the same way she does, but it comes very late in the game. The funnier/most Saints way to handle a reboot would have been to make this new crew franchising the Saints name to expand to a new area and just never mention the time travel, aliens, and spaceships. The new crew even goes from a gang of nobodies to invincible empire that nobody even bothers to try to bring down over the course of one mission. A big part of the middle of the story is that “the Saints” are essentially a corporate entity that can be legally owned, so the game treats the new gang the same way the old Saints worked. The original Saints built up to the empire and only achieved corporate status after taking over an actual corporation at the end of the second game, but this reboot wants to have it both ways and reach the same status as the original crew in just half a game. The “origin story” part of the new game is weak, so you could keep all their existing motivations to form a gang but use the franchise route rather than them just stumbling on the name and logo. This would help speed things up, have the business side of the story make sense, and inject a bit more energy into the game early on. There’s a section where you do a battle royale and it seems like it’s going to be the game’s version of Prof. Genki, but it’s a pretty staid and no frills combat arena. It could have been so much more. But “could have been so much more” is practically this game’s motto. The story feels like it was written by multiple people at the same time and they never shared notes. Characters and events are set up to be significant and then never amount to anything. By the time the game ends, it feels like everybody had run out of time and it was pencils down no matter what.
You also hit the level cap less than 50% of the way through the game. It feels like the company decided the game was too short and inflated the costs and task counts to pad out the game, but then forgot to adjust how much experience it takes to level up. And all the bonus tasks in Side Hustles pay out experience rather than money, so they really don’t feel worth doing. They’re not fun, they slow things down or risk failing the mission, and their rewards are useless, so just skip them and try to finish things as quick as possible.
The evil gangs don’t really stand out. They’re antagonists but it just feels like they’re there for the sake of being there. Outside of a few missions, your main interactions with them are that they populate an area and you have to kill everybody in that area to complete your task. If you’re expecting anything like the gangs from SR3, you’re not going to get that. The hypocritical anarchists are the best of the three and they’re… dumb Instagram versions of Miller’s gang. The car thief gang is pretty generic. And the dirtbag private military corp is just a lesser private version of STAG from SR3.
For the city, the desert is a pretty boring environment. Large parts of the map are empty and you’re going to be doing a lot of aimless driving around the outskirts trying to uncover the missions. It’s just a pain to drive around too due to hills and rocks. Your car is constantly either coming to a full stop because it bumped into a hill or it will flip because you glanced at a rock. The game’s version of the STAG hover bikes can’t fly anymore so your only option for getting up cliffs is to fly everywhere in a helicopter. I’m all for doing something other than a normal city, but a plain desert isn’t fun or interesting. The city parts need some cartoon Vegas. Even in the most Vegas-y area, it’s still fairly generic. Steelport, with its skyscraper ads and glowing neon in the main district, had more of a Vegas feel than Santo Ileso.
Vehicle control is… weird. Your car is either indestructible or it flips over if you even look at a bump in the road. The big addition is being able to side swipe cars, but it’s not a “move”, you just hold a button and manually drive into their side. Most of the time, it just causes you to spin out so it’s not exactly helpful. The way the game talks up its importance, I was expecting the side swipe to be something like shunting your car side to side like in The Wheelman and I was all excited for that, but it turns out to be little more than a different kind of braking. The move doesn’t even work well. There are times you can be going full speed and you swipe into the side of an enemy aaand they take 0 damage. Other times, you can be going slower and slightly bump into a car and it will explode and fly into the sky. I failed a chase mission because a cop car (on its own) bumped into a bus, this caused the cop car to explode, which then caused the bus to explode, and since I was pulling up next to the bus, my car exploded. All of this happened in less than a second so there wasn’t much I could do about it. There’s also no reason to try to drive evasively, or even well, because cops in this game can just straight up teleport. I was doing a mission with a chase in it, drifted onto a side street to lose the cop car behind me, it failed to make the turn, and I felt really good watching their dot on the minimap go past my street. ...Until the red dot on the map disappeared and then reappeared on my street traveling at normal speed. In a car with nitro? Well it doesn’t matter because enemies keep up with you no matter what you’re driving and even if you’re in a sports car going full blast with nitro. All this means that using the side swipes is the only way to stop enemies from bumping into your car and causing it to spin out.
So far, Saints Row 2022 has really watered down what was in previous games, so what does it add?
The best things are the game customization/accessibility options. They give you a lot of control over different aspects of difficulty like how the aiming snap works, how much health things have, how much ammo enemies drop, and timers (which sadly only works for some mission types but not others).
The wingsuit. It… exists? The game never puts it to good use so it just seems like a worse and less useful version of floating in SR4 because you don’t have the super jump to go with it. It takes a while to deploy too so it’s not something you use at will. Outside of missions or challenges that require it, I didn’t once use the wingsuit while playing normally.
They’ve added takedowns, where you earn meter over time and for killing enemies and then you press a button next to an enemy to do a takedown. It’s an instant kill on normal enemies, but you can just kill them with a few headshots anyway. For “Tough” enemies, you have to hurt them enough to drain their armor before you can do a takedown on them, and you’re probably trying to fight them at a distance anyway, so that’s not great either. The only thing it’s good for is that it gives you some health back. The animations are also pretty long, so I found myself not wanting to do them because it’s faster to just shoot everybody not hiding behind a shield.
Instead of permanent upgrades, you now equip up to five perks. You can swap them out at any time, but there are only a handful that are useful or do anything unique, so I stuck with the same perks for most of the game. You also have super moves that also refill as you do damage, but I constantly forgot they existed and almost never used them outside of some very specific instances. They’re not as interesting as the super powers from SR4. It’s mainly basic things like “throw a grenade” or “do a quick draw” or “do extra damage for X seconds” or “summon two helpers”.
Criminal Ventures make up most of the focus of the game and it’s neat, in theory, to set up evil businesses around town, but the execution is more tedious than fun. They’re suuuper expensive to create to the point that multiple times I considered leaving the game running over night to generate idle income for them, and it saps your ability to do much else. I passed up buying clothes for my character, unlocking perks, and upgrading weapons because creating the next business cost so much so there was a constant pressure to save money. For the actual content, their repetition is the main problem. So many are just “steal a thing and drive it back with a wanted rating”. The ones that are kind of unique are super short, like two or three steps short, but the ones that are repetitive seem like they go on forever. The waste disposal one makes you slowly drive a dozen trucks back to the business, but it could have been like four and that would have been plenty. And then the Planet Saints Venture is to… steal a dozen of a different kind of truck and drive them back to the business. There isn’t enough repetition in the simple tasks for the business and then multiple businesses use the same task so it’s just tedious. Between the unlock cost and inflated task counts, it really feels like the company used these to artificially pad out the length of the game, and the product suffers for it. And they ruined Insurance Fraud. Getting hit knocks you away from traffic and doesn’t pop you in the air as much. The camera is also awful and your characters shadow isn’t easily visible so it’s difficult to line up bounces and you have less air control. Then sometimes your character just gets stuck and won’t get up or run, so your entire Adrenaline boost is wasted because the character won’t move. It’s just a really bad version of something you’ve done a lot in the series so you know what it’s like when it’s fun versus what you get here.
The payouts for Ventures also don’t scale as you get deeper into the game. Unlocking the next tier of Venture is gated by your story progress, so it’s not like you can just do them all up front so the designers knew where you are in the game when you can complete each one. Completing a tier 1 Venture pays out $30K, which is exactly enough to buy another tier 1 Venture. Yay, that’s great. Completing a tier 3 Venture also pays out $30K but now another tier 4 Venture costs $400K, so you have 2-3 hours of killing time until your idle income generates enough money to continue. The small tasks around the map only pay out $5K so they really only feel like time wasters to give you something to do while you wait. Even at the very end of the game, story missions might pay out $200K when the final Ventures cost $1.4 million.
And, while considerably less important than the gameplay issues, music has been a big part of Saints Row as a series and 2022 disappoints again. Saints Row 3 and 4 made electronica and dubstep fun. There are songs fthat I discovered through Saints Row and now listen to on their own thanks to the fantastic soundtracks. In 2022, I mostly stuck to the synthwave station, but it’s all really generic stuff. At one point, the game bugged out and kept playing the same song on loop and it took me about ten minutes to realize what was happening. Even the DJs have no personality. They just read a message out about the song and play it. The newscaster is also so so dry. She comments on news stories related to the outcome of missions you’ve done, but the vast majority of them are little more than “this thing happened” and that’s all. There’s no extra follow-up or consequence and no jokes to build off the stupid thing you were involved in. Jane Valderamma she is not.
Even if you’re in the mood for a wholly generic and bland open world crime game, Saints Row 2022 is just a sloppy and buggy game. I had multiple crashes that took my system a good minute or more to even process that it had crashed and then recover from it. Save after EVERY task you complete! I also had a rare but reoccurring issue where my controller would just disconnect in the middle of gameplay. I’d be driving along and then my headphones would go quite and the game was still going, but then you quickly realize that even though the car is still driving forward, you can’t steer it. After about 30 seconds, it pops up a message that says the controller disconnected and you can just tap the home button and everything recovers. Outside of the dozen people you just ran over because your car was hurtling straight forward the whole time. Sorry, not really my fault! I’m a benevolent murderous crime boss.
Missions just break. You’ll be doing a drive-along mission and the AI gets the car in a place where it can’t just drive forward and it can’t back up, so you’re stuck and have to restart the whole mission and lose progress on your goals and there’s nothing you can do about it because the AI is the driver and you can’t influence how it drives. You’ll start a mission and it just won’t go and none of the buttons work, you can’t pause, and you have to force close the game. On almost every one of the getaway driver missions, the AI partners wouldn’t appear after the heist but the game acted like they were in the car and forced me to drive away. All of the in-car chatter would be silent but then halfway through the escape, dialogue would play about the partners still being at the crime scene. Without them there to play the dialogue about where to go, I’d fail the mission due to the strict time limits, but when I restarted the checkpoint, the partners would be in the car and the dialogue would play normally.
I also got into a state where I couldn’t pick up collectibles. The prompt was on them and the character animated when I pressed the button, but they stayed on the map and I couldn’t get them. I was able to go back and “re”-collect them eventually.
There are a number of missions where you have to hold down a position and you’ll fail if you leave the zone. The problem is that enemies spawn from outside the zone and FREQUENTLY get stuck trying to get close to you. They’ll get out of their vehicles far away from you but then never walk towards you so they’re well out of the range of normal guns. They’ll get stuck behind obstacles like rocks and not be able to path around it (so now you can’t kill them because there’s a rock between them and you). ALWAYS carry a sniper rifle just because of these missions. Or just fail the mission and be forced to redo the whole thing and hope it works a second time.
With so many of the missions being “drive to point X, get vehicle, drive it back to the start”, the game is really bad about putting markers on the map or showing the GPS. Some times it puts an icon at the final destination, most of the times it doesn’t. At the start of each mission, you have to open the map, slowly scroll to the destination, place your marker, and then after getting the vehicle, open the map back up, slowly scroll to the return point, and place another marker.
Oh man, why does the map scroll so slowly!?
It doesn’t show you bonus objectives for missions during the task, only if you return to the mission menu after starting a mission.
I had a lot of trouble getting my character to reload. Sometimes it takes three or four button presses to get them to do it. That’s pretty bad in a game with a lot of shooting.
One of the Venture mission lines forces a specific special move on you in a specific equipment slot, but it was a move I already had mapped to a different slot. Once I cleared the Venture, I went to put the move back in my preferred slot but the game had unequipped it and wouldn’t allow me to equip it to any slot. I could put other moves in the preferred slot and in the mission slot but I couldn’t interact with that move until I quit the game and relaunched it.
The game is bad about showing you perks or skills you unlock. It says you can hold the menu button to jump to it, but that rarely worked. So I had to manually enter the menu and hunt down the skill across multiple categories and try to find the new one because the new one isn’t marked until you enter the specific slot it goes in.
Challenges frequently just don’t count progress. One challenge is to steal three specific car types and the first two worked but it wouldn’t count the third. I had to steal it multiple times across sessions until one time it just marked off as complete. I have no idea how to progress one challenge to sideswipe cars with a specific truck. The pop-up appears that I’ve sideswiped the car and I get experience for it, but then when I check the challenge, I’m still at 0/50. On top of how weird getting them to register is, you also can’t make progress on challenges until the game specifically presents them to you. A lot of the challenges are tedious “do X thing Z times” and you may have fulfilled the conditions several times over, but once the challenge appears, it always starts at 0.
There’s a mission in the game, “Bad Cop”, where you have to tether a car and damage it to intimidate the person inside, and it’s one of the most frustrating and broken missions I’ve played in a while. Phase one is that you have to smash the car into shipping containers, but the game won’t register the hit but crates are already destroyed so you have to quit and restart the mission. Phase two is that you have to slam the car into smoke stacks, but the tether randomly breaks and then the car instantly explodes and you fail and have to restart the mission. Phase three is that you have to dangle the car in fire, but the game can fail to recognize the car is in the fire and for some reason this causes the mission to fail and you have to restart it. There are no checkpoints in this mission, it has a lot of unskippable dialogue, and it’s not fun to do any of these things. I was so, so mad by the sixth or seventh attempt when I finally got lucky enough for each step to work.
And maybe my favorite minor bug, the final boss’s death doesn’t work properly. When you shoot the final boss, instead of being hurt or reacting, the boss starts playing an idle animation where they look around bored and confused. I thought I did something wrong or the joke was that your character actually missed the shot and that was the funniest thing the game had done. But no, once the scene switches, the boss is suddenly on the ground bleeding out. You can really tell how much care went into this game.
Not to get all “and the portions are so small” but for as bland as the story is, they don’t even give you a reason to replay it. When I first played SR3, I beat it, and then immediately started a new game so I could go through the story again making different choices. SR2022 has a single choice, where the bad option is explicitly spelled out for you that it won’t work but then you can still choose it anyway. It doesn’t even end up affecting gameplay or the story. Choosing the bad choice just cuts the next part of the cutscene short and the game ignores everything it told you about the choice not working.
I could go on and on about minor stuff like guns on your weapon wheel turning invisible, the game constantly unequipping weapons from you, guns being invisible while you’re holding/shooting them, fast travel not working to get you to the start of a mission, and so forth but this write-up is too long and I think you get my points by now.
Yeah, so, my wrap-up is that Saints Row 2022 is not just a bad game or a poorly made game, but even if you fixed those issues and bugs, it’s still just a game with no ambition. What was the point of rebooting Saints Row so flat? What did they want to say or do? After finishing it, I still don’t know the answer. SR3 seemed to be about making a game where the decisions were made based on what was the more fun option. SR4 seemed to be a commentary on open world game where they just went right for the power fantasy and bypassed tropes, and gave you powers to get over conforming to the rules of the genre. But Saints Row 2022 doesn’t really DO anything. It has all the bits of an open world game, it has mechanics, and it has missions, but it also seems totally uninterested in sticking its neck out, trying something new, having something to say, or having an impact. It’s a game of checkboxes and at the end of development, somebody figured enough boxes were checked and the game was launched, bugs and all. If you’re in the mood for a “just another one of those kind of games” open world game, give it several months for updates to come and then play it in short doses because “turn it off and back on again” is an important rule in this one.
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It’s nearly a year !
A year ago, it was impossible for me to know how I would feel today. Part of me wondered if the pain of losing my sole-mate would be still be as raw as the day I lost him. Another part of me wondered if I’d be fully healed and back to my normal self. I’d never lost someone I loved so much before, and I had no idea what to expect. Now that it’s only a few weeks until I said goodbye, I’d like to share my thoughts. In those earliest days, there was a certain numbness that kept me going although there was tears I was far from stoic. The grief threatened to engulf me, and I let it out. I still do at times. Over time I adapted to being by myself by being busy . There have been days when I’d have to take breaks to deal with sudden bursts of devastation and self check my reality. This week has been very hard and I have felt very alone although my children have kept me sane by reaching out. I also found a bit of power washing and a trip to the supermarket to buy food for a family meal and a few nights in the camper helped.Almost a year since I kissed him goodbye and I definitely wouldn’t say that the numbness and anger are gone. People seem to expect some magical healing to happen after that first anniversary of a death, and for some it does, but it's not going to be that for me. I have times when I am coping and living for sure and find enjoyment and purpose but then it hits me out of the blue and I feel more anxious, enraged and sad. I’m realising that I’m still angry about some of the things that happened around the time of his death, and I’m not sure that will ever fully go away. For months, it was as though I was walking around in a fog. It kept me from seeing clearly or thinking straight. Now that it’s lifted, reality has set in and I’m finding a new normal. Rather than stabbing, searing pain, my grief is similar to that dull ache you have on ageing aching leg and you have to realise it will always be there. At times when you have over done it the pain is intense and the flare ups are really difficult to handle.
When Daz first died, the first thing I thought was, “How can I live without him? How can the world continue to exist if he’s gone?” It was so hard for me to believe that, despite the fact that this beautiful human being had left the Earth, nothing changed. The world kept on spinning without him. The children blossom and friends are doing the things me and Daryl did. That was surprisingly hard for me to grasp. I did have the same feelings when Pat my mum died but I had Daryl’s support so I navigated it better. Now, instead of wondering how I could ever go on, I’m terrified that I’m forgetting him. It’s a great fear. When I tell a story from his life, the details that used to feel so sharp are getting fuzzy. I’m horrified by the idea of misquoting him or getting something wrong. Sometimes, I think I’ll just need to call Daryl to tell him I have been camping or seen a film — and then I remember. There will be no more phone calls. His legacy lives in my imperfect, forgetful mind and there’s a pressure to not mess It up. While I’ve accepted that I’ll never be able to hug or talk to him again, there are many times when, out of the corner of my eye, I’ll wonder if he is there. I worry about broken relationships and Daryl’s celebration of life party brought together some key people and I loved it but there were absences that I need to accept . Sometimes, the person who died was the one thing holding everyone together. After they’re gone, people might scatter. I find this hard but I need to accept this. In my personal experience, grieving my husband has resurrected many of my buried pains. I’m dealing with emotional baggage that I’d forgotten even existed because Daryl supported me. Regardless of whether or not there’s drama relationships change. It’s incredible how petty we can become when we’re in pain and alone. My therapist thinks I have a complicated grief ? Isn’t it always ? The theory suggests “some people who are taking care of a loved one with a long-term illness, complicated grief can actually start while their loved One is still alive.” I agree I was grieving when Daryl was diagnosed and especially this time last year when he was so sick. I suffered great trauma.I do I guess have some of the symptoms associated with complicated grief including continued emotional disbelief that this has happened. I have become this week terribly preoccupied with the details of the death and re think it continually. I feel intense emotional pain and sorrow, sometimes with anger and bitterness and want to be with him ( not acting on this of course). I am struggling remembering the good times and am feeling very isolated from people. I struggle to see my future and yearn for Daz day and night and feel loss of purpose. There’s absolutely no shame in feeling this way and I know this will pass as I have turned the corner before. I have opened up with the kids and do get group and individual support. Daryl would want me to live my life to the fullest. It’s one of the best ways we can honour his memory and for this reason on the anniversary of his death I will go to a festival. I will sit in a field and look at the sky remembering when we were the most happiest. I am finding a new normal as I know how much I cry the tears will not bring him back Gradually, though, acceptance is setting in and I’m realising that, yes, this is real and I am learning to process the changes to who I am as a person and what my life now looks like. Reminders can be hard, but it’s important to find ways of coping in those moments. Sometimes I get teary-eyed and sometimes I’m okay. Either way, I don’t judge myself for how I cope. I’m doing the best I can to get through each day.
I’m not sure what the future holds, but I know that I’ll always miss my Dazzerman. There is no expiration date on grief, and I’m learning to navigate these choppy waters without shame or pressuring myself to speed through the process. Thank you to all who’ve reached out and shown support over this past year. Words can never explain how much it’s meant. I just need to know you are there especially right now. Tracey xxx
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Let Me Show You - A Theo Raeken Imagine
Characters: Theo Raeken x Reader
Word Count: 3469
Summary: Reader is feeling stressed and insecure, so Theo wants to be there for her and make her feel perfect.
Warnings: Smut (female-receiving oral and vaginal), insecurity, mentions of IED
Written by: Josie
A/N: Keep reading after the cut 👀
Disclaimer: GIF isn’t ours - credit to who it belongs to
Y/N sighed as the puffy red eyes of her reflection stared back at her through the mirror. This week had been… different. Every little thing had been going wrong, and each day brought more and more emotion, stress and insecurity. Her under-eyes were dark with exhaustion and her smile wasn’t as bright as it usually was - that is, when it showed itself anyway.
She didn’t even hear when her bedroom door opened and closed softly, didn’t register the light footsteps across her carpet moving toward her; not until the eyes of her boyfriend met hers in the mirror, round with concern. Seeing him so suddenly would usually have elicited a wide grin from Y/N, and she would jump into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Yet, in the state she was in, his arrival made her feel as if she could finally let it all out. Her emotions overwhelmed her like a tidal wave, and her eyes prickled with tears.
“Theo,” she whispered, her voice cracking, and hurriedly turned around to bury her head in his neck. Almost like a reflex, Theo held her tightly to his chest as she cried, his hand rubbing up and down her trembling back. He slowly walked them backward until his legs hit the edge of her bed, and pulled her shaking body onto his lap.
“Shh, baby,” Theo hushed her sobs tenderly. “It’s okay.” Her head had made its way back to his neck, Y/N couldn’t even look up at him. He wouldn’t show it, because he had to be strong for her, but seeing his girl like this broke him to pieces inside. She was the only person who saw the good in him when everyone else tossed him aside as either a failure or a villain. Either way, he was a lost cause in the eyes of most people. Everyone really… well, everyone except her. Out of all of the people Theo had met in his life, he knew Y/N deserved to be happy more than anyone. She deserved to be cared for, celebrated, loved. As someone who dragged him out of his darkest places, Theo wanted nothing more than to help her out of hers.
Y/N sniffled, and slowly lifted her head from Theo’s shoulder, her eyes staring downward and avoiding the gaze of her boyfriend. She knew it hurt him to see her like this and she wished she could just… stop.
“Hey,” she heard him say. “Look at me Y/N.” His voice was rich with worry for the girl he loved, and she flinched at the thought of causing him grief. It was quick, but Theo saw it, and his heart snapped once again. Slowly, he raised his hand to her cheek, running his thumb along her cheekbone softly, collecting the tears that were slowly drying on her face. She subtly leaned into his touch without even realising she did it, it was like her body moved off it’s own accord, drawn to him. Gently, Theo moved his hand to Y/N’s chin and turned her head to face him.
For the first time since he’d arrived, Y/N finally let Theo see the pain in her eyes. They were glossy and slightly bloodshot, and Theo’s gaze softened at the sight of her vulnerability. “What’s wrong?” He asked a simply question, not wanting to overwhelm her.
“Everything,” she breathed. Theo’s fingers ran themselves through her hair, encouraging her to keep going. Initially she wanted to shrug him off and succumb to her feelings again, but she let him comfort her. “I’m just feeling everything all at once. Theo, I can’t-“
“It’s okay baby, it’s okay,” He held her cheeks delicately, scared to break her fragile form. “Breathe with me.”
It was something Theo had learned over the months. Sometimes Y/N really needed to calm down and just breathe slowly, in and out, exhaling the intensity of her feelings as much as her brain would allow. Though she hadn’t admitted it, Y/N realised that the method worked better when Theo led her through it.
After a minute or so of long, deep breaths, Y/N was no longer jolting with the ghosts of sobs from earlier. Theo continued to hold her close, remaining gentle but tight enough to always remind her that he was there for her. No matter what.
“This week has been so bad,” She began, and Theo stayed silent, realising that she was finally feeling comfortable enough to talk. He felt a small surge of pride flow through him at this, knowing that it was hard for her at times. “I’m stressed. I still have so much work to do, and deadlines are creeping up on me like a freakin’ predator. I’m worried for my brother, he’s struggling with his IED and he’s even been taking his meds, but they keep needing to up the dose and it kills me to see him in the state he gets. I keep screwing up too, like earlier I kept stalling the car, and I broke a photo frame yesterday morning, and I forgot to submit an assignment for grading at the beginning of the week. And I can’t sleep at night… Theo, I’m so tired.”
“Hey, come here,” Theo whispered, pulling her into another hug. “Okay, first of all, you are so smart and every time you get stressed about an assessment, you always go and smash it, don’t you?”
A smile threatened to pull at her lips at his confidence in her, and she nodded.
“Right,” Theo grinned. “Next thing, Liam is resilient, just like you. He won’t let one little setback get him down, and his meds will be sorted before you know it. Plus, he’s lucky to have you as a sister, you know that? You’re always there for him, everyone sees it.”
Y/N shifted on Theo’s lap, looking into his eyes as he spoke. “And,” He continued. “Everyone has weeks where they feel like they mess everything up, even super cool badasses like me.” Y/N giggled, spurring Theo on. “Someone as perfect as you doesn’t need to worry about a few little mistakes. They’re nothing, okay? Not important.” His hand moved soothingly up and down her arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Is that everything?”
“Um, yeah…” Y/N trailed off quietly, suddenly avoiding her boyfriend’s eyes and sinking into herself. Theo knew her so well at this point that not a single subtle movement would go unnoticed, so he raised his eyebrows at her response. He knew she was holding back, and she knew that he knew. Sighing, Y/N gave in a little. “It’s stupid.”
“What have I always told you?” He said, smiling at her. “You can tell me anything. Anything at all. I’ll be there for you no matter what. You know that, don’t you?”
Y/N nodded and breathed in, slightly shakily. “I feel ugly, Theo.”
“What?” Theo whispered in disbelief, his eyes the size of saucers. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it wasn’t that. “Baby-“
“I told you it was stupid-“
“No, it’s not that, it’s just-“ Theo searched for the words in his brain. He never thought he’d have to convince the most beautiful girl in the world that that’s what she was. He thought it was just common knowledge, really. “You and ‘ugly’ would never even fit in the same category. Not even in the same universe.”
“That’s just not true though,” Y/N stated, shaking her head, her eyes tired. “I can’t even look in the mirror at the moment. I feel like when I look, I’m not looking back at me. And it makes me cry. I’d rather not see myself at all than to look at that reflection.”
If Theo’s heart wasn’t broken before, the damage was definitely done now. Hearing Y/N, his girl, say that she wasn’t pretty, but ugly, made him feel all kinds of lost and confused, but more so sad, because he wished he could take away her pain and make it all disappear. Unfortunately, his powers of pain transference only worked on physical pain, and he silently cursed that fact.
“How can you not see what I see…” He whispered, almost more to himself than to her. “You know, the first time I saw you Y/N, even from a distance I knew I’d never see anyone as beautiful as you. And now I’m looking at you, months later, and I still think you’re just as stunning. You are gorgeous. You hear me? The most gorgeous ever.” Theo placed kisses on her nose, her cheeks, her forehead as he spoke, causing Y/N’s heart to flutter. His words stirred something in her, and the intensity of his eyes boring into hers made her forget about everything she was worried about. A wave of adoration for her boyfriend washed over her, and she cupped his cheeks delicately, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.
Y/N didn’t have the words at that moment, all the emotion was caught in her throat, so she did what she felt conveyed her feelings best. She leaned forward and kissed him, Theo’s lips moving against hers immediately, as if by instinct. It was so soft, so pure, light as a feather. She pulled away from him all too soon, their eyes meeting each other once again, but Theo didn’t feel like stopping. “I want to show you how beautiful you really are,” He spoke lowly, holding her hand and giving a gentle squeeze. “Please baby. Let me show you.”
He didn’t have to explicitly say what he really meant by that for both of them to know, and his request sent warm shivers through her body. She spoke only one word: “Okay.”
Theo connected their lips again, harder this time. Even with just a kiss, he wanted to pour every ounce of love he had for her in it. He would make sure that he made her feel exactly how she deserves to feel. Her hands had moved to the back of his neck, plucking at the hairs on his head, while Theo held her as close as their bodies would allow.
His fingers slid up her t-shirt slightly, brushing the skin underneath. Theo’s fingers were so cold that Y/N gasped against his lips, so her boyfriend took the chance to slip his tongue into her mouth and explore. Slowly, he lifted her shirt up further and further until they were forced to pull away so Theo could tug it over her head and toss it on her bedroom floor.
Of course, Theo wanted to marvel her brilliance as best he could, so he gripped her by the waist and moved her carefully so she was laying flat on her bed, looking up at him. “So beautiful,” he murmured, and waisted no time in resuming their kiss. His hands travelled down her sides as their lips moved in sync like a perfectly choreographed dance, and his hips ground into hers - gently still, yet hard enough to give Y/N friction where she needed it the most.
He dragged his lips to her neck, sucking and biting on the skin to create dark marks to decorate her already perfect body. Theo considered it his finishing touch to her, as he knew she needed him as much as he needed her, which was what made them so perfect. Y/N’s hands roamed his back, one leg secured over his hip to keep him close, and Theo reached around to unclip her bra. His eyes widened - he would never get used to seeing her body like this, and she wasn’t even fully exposed to him yet.
“I love these so much,” He said, lowering his head to one breast and closing his mouth over her nipple, his tongue sliding across her sensitive skin. Y/N moaned as he simultaneously kneaded her other breast with his hand. “I love this one,” He said, moving away from the one he was playing with. “And I love this one.” Theo reattached his lips to her other breast, her rapidly increasing breaths spurring him on.
Y/N’s hips involuntarily bucked up at Theo’s, and he chuckled lightly against her skin at the movement. He trailed his lips back up to her collarbone, her neck, her jaw, all while dragging her leggings and her panties down her legs as far as he could. He pulled away from Y/N’s lips to crawl down the bed until he could completely reveal her entire body. Her leggings and panties discarded on the floor, Theo looked his girl in the eyes as he placed his hands on her thighs and lightly encouraged her legs apart.
Shivering with anticipation, Y/N watched her boyfriend wide-eyed as he licked one long stripe up her centre. Her eyelids fluttered, but she couldn’t bring herself to break the intense eye contact she held with Theo, until he began to flick his tongue against her clit. Her head fell back onto her pillow, arms flying down to grab onto Theo’s hair, feeling his head moving between her legs. She moaned as he licked and sucked at her clit, doing everything in his power to make her feel good, and it was music to his ears. He soon replaced his tongue with his fingers, rubbing her clit quickly, and started licking along her core, like it was his whole life’s purpose to do so.
“Fuck, Theo,” She whimpered, and Theo groaned against her at the sound of her saying his name in such a situation. Her voice held so much vulnerability yet so much excitement, so much feeling, so much love. The vibrations against her core sent waves of pleasure racing through her, and Theo watched through his eyelashes as her back arched off the bed.
Theo removed his mouth from her core, and her head whipped up briefly at the loss of contact, her eyes wide and pleading for something, anything. Barely moment after, Theo pushed two fingers inside her, pumping them at a quick pace. Y/N moaned louder, and Theo pulled himself up so his head was level with hers, staring directly into her eyes as his fingers worked their magic. “How good does this feel Princess?”
“So good,” Y/N breathed, barely being able to find it in herself to speak. She gripped onto his biceps as he continued his work between her legs, moaning with every thrust of his fingers. “It feels amazing.”
Theo smirked slightly, content that he was getting exactly the reaction from her that he set out to get, and leaned down to capture her lips with his once again. He added another finger and picked up the pace of his actions, his mouth drowning her voice as she cried out. He kissed her hard, drawing the breath out of her almost completely, and she could taste herself on his tongue which only brought her closer to the edge.
Feeling her walls clench around his fingers, Theo moved his lips around to her ear. “Are you gonna cum?” He said, his voice rough with his own arousal. He knew the answer, but he also knew that Y/N loved to hear his voice, and it somehow turned her on even more. All she could do at this point was nod frantically, her moans and whimpers making it impossible to get the words out. Theo sped up his actions even further, trying with everything he had to send her over the edge. “Cum for me baby.”
The words uttered into her ear sent her into ecstasy, and she let go screaming Theo’s name. He watched with his mouth hung open as her body pulsed and jolted as her orgasm washed over her in waves, her cries slowing into whimpers and her contorted face relaxing into one of sheer bliss.
A few moments later when Y/N had caught her breath, she reached down and palmed Theo’s bulge through his joggers, eyes widening when she realised how hard he already was. He groaned, dropping his head to her shoulder and tensing at her touch. “N- no, baby,” He stuttered out, voice rough from the feeling. Y/N was confused as he slowly moved her hand away, tilting her head to the side in a silent question. “Tonight is about you.”
Usually she would protest and say that they both need to be pleasured equally, but she wanted him so badly that she didn’t have it in her to argue. Frantically, she yanked his head down and smashed her lips against his, tongue and teeth clashing in desperation. All she wanted was him, and she didn’t want to wait any longer.
She pulled his shirt up his body, almost ripping the fabric with her speed, and he pulled away so she could pull it over his head. She loved to admire Theo’s toned chest and stomach, so she reached her hand down to feel up his abs. She tried to look, but Theo was adamant on her being the one who was worshipped, so he dipped his head and began sucking on her neck once again, causing her head to fall back and a moan to fall from her lips.
As he painted her neck with purple bruises, Y/N reached down and played with the waistband of his joggers, fiddling with the drawstrings. Theo felt her fingers brush him and growled against her neck, hurriedly standing up to yank them and his boxers to the ground, completely exposed before her.
Y/N whimpered at the sight of him, naked and ready for her, and he crawled back over her just as quickly as he’d stood up. Theo looked at her with dark eyes, wordlessly asking for permission to treat her to just what she deserved. “Please, Theo,” She whispered, and of course, Theo didn’t want to deny her anything she wanted, especially when she asked so nicely.
The two of them moaned in harmony, jaws dropped open, as Theo pushed himself inside her, easily sliding in due to her wetness. He moved all the way in until he felt like he was inside Y/N’s stomach, pausing there as they both breathed heavily from the sensation. “Feeling better?” Theo spoke thinly, smiling at his girlfriend’s expression of pure pleasure.
“Miles better,” She replied, thrusting her hips up at Theo, making it known that she wanted more. The chimera began to move, pushing in and out of her at an ever-increasing pace, making sure she felt every single inch of him to give her the best sex possible. Y/N hands roamed his back, nails scratching at it and breaking the skin as she moaned and cursed into his ear.
“Always so tight and wet for me,” Theo groaned, his hair falling messily over his forehead as he moved. “So perfect. Every inch of you is perfect.” He sped up his movements, making sure to hit the spot that gets her screaming, and grabbed at her breast with one hand and delicately stroking her cheek with the other. “I love you.”
Theo was going so deep and fast now, Y/N was so close. Her nails dug into his back as her release approached, unable to tear her eyes away from his as they glowed yellow from the adrenaline. “I love you too,” She spoke shakily, so nearly there, when Theo kissed her hard, knowing she was reaching her orgasm from her clenching walls.
“Now,” He spoke against her lips, and as soon as the word had left his lips, Y/N screamed out Theo’s name at the most euphoric feeling she had ever experienced, shaking and quivering around him. Moments later, as she was still feeling the high, she felt Theo slow his movements as he spilled into her, his own release washing through him like a tidal wave.
After coming down from their high, Theo flopped down next to her in bed, immediately pulling her close to rest her head on his chest, which was still rising and falling. He kissed her head lightly, stroking her hair affectionately, and then pulled the covers over their bodies. He knew Y/N was exhausted, not just from their activities but from her whole week. Her breathing had slowed and he realised she had already fallen into a relaxed slumber.
Theo smiled to himself - seeing his girl finally calm with no stress lines pulling at her face made his heart soar. He hated seeing her so upset, in fact it was his least favourite thing to see in the world, so he vowed to always be the one to lift her back up again.
Theo would always be there for her: rain or shine, any day, any time. And one day it’ll be ‘til death do them part. His smile lingered on his lips as he let his own eyelids closed and he joined her in her slumber, meeting her in her dream.
#teen wolf#teen wolf imagines#teen wolf imagine#theo raeken#theo raeken imagines#theo raeken imagine#teen wolf smut#theo raeken smut#theo raeken x reader#cody christian
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He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 1
Bakugou x f!reader
Warnings - Angst, Physical Harm, Cursing, accused Cheating, Katsuki’s insecurities
BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST
A/N: This is my first writing piece but this has been stuck in my mind since v-day is coming up so I had to get it out. Plz enjoy!!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Summary: Y/N is so busy around Valentine’s, her lack of attention towards her Pomeranian is causing him to freak out and do the worst of the worst
Love is in the air! The birds are singing, The breeze is blowing, the setting sun is shining, and the explosive teen is.....well, bruting.
Can you blame him though? Y/N’s been a little distant ever since February started. Even right now, instead of enjoying their time together in a quiet park, she’s staring down at her phone doing who knows what.
Why? Was he not good enough? Has she gotten tired of him? They’ve only been together for a little over a year. Is she talking to someon- no. Katsuki stopped himself from thinking like that. There’s no way his precious teddy bear would ever do that. Not only that, he was the best there is. Why would she even try to go?
“You dumbass. You’re missing this.” Bakugou sighed. “Huh? What? Missing what?” Y/N looked around looking for whatever “this” was until Bakugou grabbed her chin to force her to look him in the eyes. “THIS DUMBASS! US! You’re so focused on that dumb phone. Jeez, can’t a guy just get his girl’s attention.” Bakugou said dramatically.
It wasn’t that Y/N wasn’t giving him attention, it’s that it wasn’t the same. Yea she right there snuggled into his arm. And yea she was petting his hair just the way he liked. And YES, she was peppering his face with kisses from time to time. But it all felt off? Like only half her energy was put into the love and affection.
“Suki, aren’t u being a little dramatic. I’m right here with you baby. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. Come here dummy.” And as Y/N pulls Bakugou in for a tighter hug all he can do is release a “hmph” while falling into it...until her phone went (ding!) once again. And she went to check it. Once again.
Bakugou was getting tired so he got up and suggested they’d head back to UA. Y/N only got up and began to walk beside him, hand in hand, while still checking her phone time to time. And Bakugou was getting sick of it
*Wtf is she doing on that piece of junk? What could be so important she would half ass our entire evening together? .....Could she possibly be talking to someone else?............no.* Bakugou let those negative thoughts die down as they continued their journey back.
——————————————————————————
A few days later
“COME ON!!” Bakugou screamed as he realeased a blast towards Kirishima. When Bakugou invited him to train, The red head initially thought it was to ...you know..TRAIN. But after some time, the blonde’s best friend began to see the bigger picture.
“Dude. What’s up with you man? We always go full on during training, but it’s not even like you’re trying to hit me. It feels like you’re just taking your anger out on me.” Kirishima said.
“Congrats on noticing shitty hair, I’m glad somebody’s noticing my damn mood.” Weirded out by his friend’s unusual openness, the red head continued to ask.
“So what’s up?”
“Nothing.”
“But you just-“
“NOPE!”
Bakugou exclaimed as he began to gather his stuff to leave the training area. “BAKUGOU!” Kiri shouted. “WHAT!” “.......it’s Y/N isn’t it?”
Upon hearing that, the blonde turned to look at his best friend with this sad puppy dog look. And man, if Katsuki had doggy ears, everyone would see how low they’d go. His best friend didn’t need to see it though, he could tell those ears would be 6 ft under if they were actually there bc there’s nothing hiding Katsuki’s vulnerability when it comes to Y/N. As the two best friends go to sit on the bleachers, Bakugou takes a deep breath before saying his thoughts.
“I think Y/N is cheating on me.”
“................HUH???!!!!”
Kirishima went from “caring and considerate” to “WHATDIDHESAYYY” in seconds. Y/N L/N?? Cheating?? Ok. Y/N was one fiesty girl, and she definitely had sass, power, attitude, and a little mischief, but she also had kindness, compassion, consideration, and honesty flowing though her. Not to mention extreme loyalty. There’s no way.
“Look man, with all due respect, I think you’ve finally lost it.” The red head laughed. “I’m being serious shitty hair.” The blonde stated. “She’s been so distracted lately. She’s always with me but it’s like her mind is also somewhere else. And not to mention that damn phone she’s always on now. She can’t go 30 minutes without checking it at least twice. And not only that, when she does leave to do whatever, she’s gone for hours at a time! What’s a guy supposed to think with all of that?! I mean it’d make sense if she wanted to leave. I get it, I can get loud, and yell, and I get angry a lot but.. she knows I never mean it, right? I call her a dumbass like i do everyone else...ugh but she isn’t just everyone else, she’s my girlfriend and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.....SO WHY TF IS SHE CHEATIN-“ before the blonde could continue, his best friend cut him off.
“BAKUGOU” “WHAT??!!” “....talk to her.” Kirishima said. “What?” Bakugou asked. Kirishima continued. “Cheating is a real sensitive topic in a relationship. I don’t wanna give my opinion on something that could ruin something amazing. C’mon man, we both know Y/N isn’t like that but who am I to tell you what to do. I wanna help, I do, but I think it’s best if you go to her with all this. Honestly though, if you asked me, Y/N would be the last person I’d ever think of when it came to cheating on ANYTHING. Especially the guy she cares so much about.” And with that last sentence, Kirishima stood up from his spot and pat Bakugou on his shoulder before exiting.
With Bakugou left with nothing but his thoughts and Kirishima’s advice, he left and headed straight towards your room.
——————————————————————————
“Shut up!” You excitingly screamed though the phone. “You really found the last part?”
“Yup, it only took about 6 different stores across the entire city.” Shinsou sarcastically replied. “You owe me.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know and I appreciate it. Katsuki’s gonna love his gift!” You said.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you’ve been preparing only the best Valentine’s Day surprise for the best boyfriend in the world. You’ve been so busy planning your surprise that I guess you could say you haven’t been giving Katsuki the massive amount of attention he’s used to from you, but you can definitely say it’ll all be worth it when he sees one of his presents that you’ve been working on. A silencer for his gauntlet blasts that not only decreases the volume of his attacks, but also increases his attack power. You remember how Bakugou had vented about his attacks being too loud that they scare people, but when he tried to keep them quiet, the attack isn’t as powerful so saving can be quite difficult. He only spoke about it once, but you could see the look on his face whenever he was out using his quirk around civilians. So why not give him a device that’ll help with his loud little problem. Now were you a support class student who knew how to make support items? Hell no. But were you a loving girlfriend willing to give her man the best Valentine’s Day ever? Hell yeah.
The piece of gear would’ve been easier to make IF it weren’t for a pesky piece of the project getting destroyed by Shinsou after he made Denki electrocute himself while he was right next to your prototype on the table. So to make it up to you, Shinsou went all around town looking for the piece you needed to complete your support item for Katsuki. Finally, all pieces had come together.
“He better. That damn bastard doesn’t know how amazing his girlfriend is. Instead of ignoring his ass these past few weeks, you sent ME to get all this shit for you so you could keep your precious Pomeranian happy.” Shinsou said while rolling his baggy eyes.
As Bakugou approached the outside of your dorm room’s door, he heard your voice.
“You know, you’re so right. That Pomeranian is unaware of just exactly how amazing I am. I really could’ve left whenever but I stuck around.” You snorted. “Well I’m glad I had you with me through it all Shinsou.”
*Pomeranian? SHINSOU?!? Through IT ALL?!?!? YOU WERE WITH THAT PURPLE HAIRED, SLEEP DEPRIVED ASS MIND CONTROLLING FREAK?!?? AND YOU WERE WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME YOU’VE BEEN DATING BAKUGOU?!?*
Oh to say Katsuki was pissed was an understatement. He felt all these emotions hitting him all at once. Anger, Disgust, Pain, Betrayal. It all became too much for him before Katsuki ran away from your down with his bed down and silent tears hitting the floor. When he let himself fall to the floor in the privacy of his room he screamed into his hands. His first love, his first real relationship, his teddy bear betraying his love, loyalty, and trust for over an entire year. After hours of crying, Katsuki was able to pull himself into bed. He couldn’t even bring himself to shower even though he spent all that time in the gym with Kirishima. He just wanted to sleep to escape reality. As he looked at his phone, he saw 1 missed call from Y/N, and 1 text saying “Goodnight love💗💥!” Bakugou scoffed at the text. Figuring u must be texting Shinsou the same thing. As Bakugou placed his phone down, an evil thought came to mind. Ruin her.
Bakugou smirked to himself as he had this pyscho and sinister look on his face. He would ruin Y/N. They haven’t officially broken up yet, so he could hurt her just as she hurt him. And Bakugou wasn’t stupid or so he thought he’s aware Valentine’s is coming up, so why not break little Y/N L/N’s heart on a day dedicated to nothing but love and happiness. It’ll be the perfect revenge on a little satin like her. Bakugou finally turned on his side with an evil, satisfied smile, and fat tears in his eyes once more.
——————————————————————————
The next morning, Katsuki got up with a broken heart, but he figured if he wanted his plan to work, he had to fake this smile. Getting up, getting ready, and getting dressed was business as usual, but meeting up with Y/N in the morning was now off the schedule. Instead of going into her room to check on her like he usually does, he just went straight to breakfast and straight to class without speaking to anyone.
With Class 1-A seated and Mr.Aizawa at the head of the classroom, the students can finally start their first lesson of the day. Until, the door slid wide open. There stood an exhausted and quite frankly dishelved Y/N. “My apologies sensei. I was up late last night and overslept. Please forgive me.” Y/N said as she bowed her head in sorry. “Just take your seat L/N.” The tired eye teacher said.
As Y/N walked to her desk, she noticed Bakugou wouldn’t even glance her way. She was a little thrown off since it would be normal for him to at least give her a judgemental look for sleeping in, but no. Nothing.
Bakugou on the other hand was writhing in agony. Oh how he wanted to check on Y/N and make sure everything was fine, but that voice in the back of his head couldn’t help but tell him to ignore her since she’s a cheater. She may have been the girl he’s loved dearest, but she was also the one causing his heart to shatter.
After a few classes, Y/N tried to approach Bakugou several times, but each time he brushed her off. And when the bell finally rang for lunch, you can bet Katsuki was the first one out the door. Y/N followed him of course, in worry and concern.
“Babe! Baby! Katsuuu!!! KATSUKII!” Y/N whined for her boyfriend to at least look at her but once again. Nothing. Bakugou wanted to hug her and hold her tight but he couldn’t. Not after what she’s done. Right before Bakugou entered the cafeteria, Y/N pulled him aside and held onto his wrists.
“Baby? Hey, what’s up with you? I’ve been calling your name and trying to talk to you but you keep brushing me off. You also didn’t stop by this morning. Is something wrong, love?” Y/N was hoping for something. ANYTHING at this point. And it was like the gods heard her prayer because she definitely got....something. “My bad.” The blonde haired boy dryly replied. “....Oh, um, ok suki.” The poor girl just thought her dear boyfriend was having a bad day, so she just left it alone and let him go. But still, even on his worse days he would at least visit her in the mornings. As they sat down with the bakusquad, the entire table noticed how Bakugou sat up and moved across from Y/N after she chose to sit next to him like usual. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Kirishima could already feel what had gone down. He at least knew his bro didn’t talk to his girl. Not manly at all.
——————————————————————————
Valentine’s Day
During lunch, Kirishima has finally decided to speak to Bakugou about this whole thing. He hasn’t been getting any updates since their time in the gym, so when it was just him and his best friend having lunch together, he went for it.
“Man what the hell is going on with you and Y/N? I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding her like crazy,” Kirishima said while stuffing his face, nervous about the answer. “I was right all along.” The blonde sadly spoke. “She’s been cheating on me since the start of our entire relationship. And with that baggy eyed freak from 1-B.”
Kirishima couldnt believe what he was hearing. He almost choked on his food. Y/N was actually cheating. I guess people don’t know people as well as he thought. “.....wow...I’m sorry man.” The red haired friend said. He was at a lost for words and didn’t know what else to say. *sigh* “don’t be. It all goes down tonight.” Bakugou said with a sad smile. “What do you mean?” His friend asked. The blonde looked at him right in his red eyes. “I’m breaking her heart tonight, on the one day of the year dedicated to love.”
Meanwhile
Instead of going to lunch, Y/N spent her time finishing up Katsuki’s surprise in his room. Yeah, he’s been having a bad past few days so why not bring him a smile with these amazing gifts on the day of love. Although Y/N didn’t really feel the love today (due to Katsuki again being so distant and ignoring her “good morning blasty💥💗!” And “Happy Valentine’s Day my love♥️!” Texts) she was determined to make sure Katsuki knew just exactly how much she loved him. She was almost done setting up in his room. Rose petals on the bed, Candles everywhere, 4 different gifts including his new support item made by you, his favorite meal is going to be set here on his table, and you and him together spending every loving second with each other. Y/N didn’t realize that because of her setup, she missed the entire rest of the day. “Meh, so worth it when I see the look on Suki’s face.” Tonight is going to be perfect.....or so you thought.
You didn’t expect to find Katsuki in your room, sitting on the edge of you bed waiting for you with his head hanging low and his shoulders slumped.
*maybe he has a surprise for me....? Yea that has to be it!* Y/N happily thought as she closed the door.
“Suki!! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Y/N said with all the love in her heart as she ran and jumped on the boy for a hug. But Bakugou didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He just glanced back up at her, giving her this cold stare. Y/N was too busy professing her undying love for her boyfriend to even notice his scary silence. “Suki I’m really glad it’s you who I have in my life,” the love sicken girl bashfully spoke while looking at the ground. “You make me so happy and I feel so blessed being able to spend my life with you in it. I really hope you know just how much I care and lov-“ Bakugou couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore. He pushed Y/N off of him just before she could say those 3 words that would get him to break.
“Hey! Suki? Why would you do that?!” Y/N exclaimed while standing back up. “I hate you.” The blonde spoke coldly. As those words left his mouth, Y/N heart and world were falling apart. Her eyes went wide open and her jaw slightly dropped. As she was about to say something else, Katsuki cut her off with “I’m breaking up with your dumbass. Right here. Right now!” Bakugou yelled. Y/N was in shock. She felt hurt, pain, she was just feeling so broken.
As tears filled her eyes, she asked “w-why?” as she tried to reach out to him. “Why? WHY?!” Bakugou screamed as he stood up above her slapping her hand away. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY, Y/N. YOU’RE A FUCKING CHEATER, THATS WHY!” The blonde yelled in her face. Y/N couldn’t believe it. He thought she was cheating? Why would she even do that? She already has the best person in the world for her so why? “DONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT “it didn’t mean anything, Suki!” BULLSHIT. I DONT GIVE A FUCK, CUZ YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AND PLAYING ME FOR A DAMN FOOL THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!” Bakugou went on as his voice began to crack while tears flowed down his porcelain face. “YOU LIED TO ME. I GAVE YOU MY ENTIRE BEING AND YOU FUCKING LIED. YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, I CANT BELIEVE I EVER LOVED A SORRY EXCUSE OF A PERSON LIKE YOU. I HATE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I SAW IN YOU!” Y/N’s heart hit the ground. No actually, it went 6 ft under because after all that he’s said, her heart is dead. Broken. In agony. “Suki I-“ “DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT L/N.” Hearing him refer to her with her family name hit so hard. “KATSUKI PLEASE! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I SWEA-“ as Y/N tried to reach out to him, he interrupted her again and pushed her hand away. “I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT!”
The blonde yelled, except this time....he didn’t only yell. The burning scent of smoke came into his nose and the loud explosion could be heard throughout the building. The product of what he just did came to him. He just attacked the love of his life. As much as Y/N hurt him, Katsuki still loved her with his everything. And the fact that he subconsciously attacked her broke him even more. Y/N’s screams of pain reached his ears, as he looked down and saw his precious teddy bear with a burned arm and fat tears on her face, crying in pain.
Bakugou ran down to her level to try and help her. “Y/N! Hey, hey teddy bear look I’m so-“ Y/N pushed him away before he could continue. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BAKUGOU?!” Ouch. His family name felt like poison coming from your tongue. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ “SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK FOR ONCE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Y/N screamed as she stood up to face him. “I DIDNT FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU. WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT WHEN YOU’RE THE BEST DAMN THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME?!..ah!” Y/N was cut off by the stinging of her wound, and Bakugou couldn’t do anything but stare. Y/N grabbed onto her wound before continuing. “I love you Bakugou. I wouldn’t even dream about doing wrong by you. I thought I was a good girlfriend or at least a good person-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted “No! Y/N you are, I just-“ “If I am then what the hell made you even think of me so lowly? What the hell did I do to make you question my loyalty? What the hell did I do that was worthy of you burning my fucking arm?!” Y/N cried out.
Silence fell upon the room. It felt like hours before anybody said anything. Both people had heavy tears in their face now. One crying because he realized he was an idiot and harmed the girl who did nothing wrong, and One crying because she did nothing wrong but ended up being a villain in her loved one’s life. Y/N broke the silence with a scoff.
“You know what Suki?” Y/N said looking him in the eyes. “Yes teddy bear?” Bakugou quickly replied with wide, desperate eyes upon hearing the loving nickname, thinking they would move on from this horrible incident. “Get the fuck out.” Y/N said in a low voice. Bakugou was shocked. He knew he fucked up horribly but after realizing the truth, he can’t leave you! He loves you too damn much for that! “What? Y/N please listen to me, I’m sor-“ “I DONT GIVE A FUCK! Leave..please.” The sad girl cried. Bakugou grabbed onto her shoulders begging her to not end this. “Y/N please! Please princess! I’m so fucking sorry! I’m an idiot, I know, and I definitely don’t deserve you but please I can’t lose you.” Bakugou said with tears falling down his face. “Please don’t do this to us. Please don’t do this to me, I’m BEGGING YOU.” “Bakugou-“ The sad boy cut you off, shaking his head, “ NO ITS SUKI. YOUR SUKI. YOUR KATSUKI.......please teddy bear I need you.......h-here let me help yo-”
You harshly pushed the boy off of you and as he tried to desperately go back to you, you used your quirk to keep him at bay. “Bakugou Katsuki. I’m leaving this room since you won’t, and I won’t come back until I know you’re out of my room.” Y/N began as she looked at him with cold, sad eyes. “From now on, you won’t have to worry about this bitch because I’ll stay out of your life, I swear. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, DONT EVEN TALK TO ME. Just leave me alone....we’re done.” And with that Y/N ran out of her room, and out of the building, needing to get away from the place for a little bit. She could deal with her wound later. She just needed to get away. Bakugou just stood there in sadness and shock. As much as he wanted to run after you, he figured he’d give you a little breather. You guys could fix things in the morning...right?
Bakugou waited an hour in your room waiting for you, but you were right. You really weren’t coming back until he left your private area. So that’s what he did. With a heavy heart, he picked himself up and dragged his feet back to his dorm. He looked like a mess. He knew he did. Messy hair, red swollen eyes, dry lips. His entire body screamed heartbroken. When he open the door, instant regret and love hit him at once. His room was covered with rose petals and flowers, there were candles everywhere, heart shaped balloons all around, he had 4 different boxes of gifts, and two plates of extra spicy curry was set on his table, obviously cold now. What caught his eye was that one of the gift boxes had a note attached to it. With tears in his eyes, he read it.
Hey Suki! It’s Valentine’s Day! I love you to the moon and back and so much more. There’s no words that are able to describe the way I feel about you. You drive me insane in all the right ways and I love it! Lol. I hope you like your Valentine’s Day surprise. I’ve been working for weeks on it, so I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. I know I’ve been kinda absent these past few days but I promise I’ll make it up to you love! Hopefully I can start with this gift that I’ve been working on. Enjoy your brand new grenade silencer! Made it myself just for you. There’s nothing else in the world like this. I love you Bakugou Katsuki!
(P.S. If Shinsou from 1-B gives you shit about it, it’s because I made him drag his ass everywhere to look for a missing part so I wouldn’t have to leave you so much)
XOXO, Your forever teddy bear <3
As he quickly opened the gift, he saw it. A silencer that would attach to his gauntlets to make the sound quieter and the blast even more powerful. It was incredible. You are incredible. He only ever mentioned the sound of his blasts once, and you listened and you fixed it.
Bakugou shook as tears began to fall onto the paper. He couldn’t believe it. Everything started coming together now. The reason you were so distracted was because you were setting this up for him. You were always on the phone because you were assembling pieces and ordering gifts for him. You weren’t cheating on him with Shinsou. You were making sure he could find something that you needed for him. Y/N L/N was truly the best girlfriend in the world. Scratch that, she is the best girlfriend in the world. No scratch that too, she’s just the best, period. And Bakugou’s idiotic self ruined everything for him. All because he couldn’t have a little faith in his teddy bear. As Katsuki cried and cried, he set everything aside.
He took the petals off his bed. He didn’t deserve it. He blew out the candles around his room. He didn’t deserve it. He popped the balloons, and ignored the food. He laid in bed with more tears than ever, and looked at the ceiling. He finally turned to his side to fall asleep, but not before grabbing the picture on his bedside nightstand. A picture of you and him. He remembers that picture oh so clearly. It was his birthday, and while he didn’t want to celebrate, you did everything in your power to make it the best one yet. And you did just that. Bakugou hugged that picture so tight, because he didn’t have you in his arms tonight. He didn’t think he would ever have you in his arms again. So Bakugou Katsuki continued to cry until he was asleep, escaping from the reality of him losing his love, his teddy bear, his princess, and his Y/N.
Bakugou Katsuki never lost, no. He’s always been ahead, always number one, always the best. He always won and achieved and nothing ever stopped him. Except this time, the only thing that stopped him and caused him to lose, was himself. He lost. He lost his everything. His world, his rock, his heart, his Y/N. He’s lost without her in his life, and at this point he thinks he’s lost at life. There was nothing that could fix him unless it was you coming back to him.
Bakugou Katsuki? He’s lost.
A/N: HOLY SHIT! That was my very first writing piece and it was just a Drabble of a thought I’ve been having. Sorry if it’s a little off and weird, I’m still new to writing but hopefully I’ll get better. This was NOT spell checked so my apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thx for the love!
#bakugou angst#bakugou oneshot#bakugou imagine#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#my hero academia#my hero fanfic#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero x reader#bakugou x y/n#bhna bakugou#bakugo angst#bakugou fanfiction#bnha angst
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Tranquility
A/n about time i wrote something for my privateer,, my love, Nikolai Lantsov
Summary: You and Nikolai are masters of being a couple without actually dating, and the only thing threatening that is the way Nikolai gets after having a nightmare.
--
Tranquility. So rare for a world on the cusp of war. I guess that’s what the difference between a world at war and a world only boarding on it, the occasional glimmers of goodness, peace. I shift cautiously, careful to not disturb Nikolai. He is tranquility, especially in the few moments in which he allows himself to rest. Not long ago, I found his trips to my bed in the middle of the night strange. But now I only think of the oddness of it when I can’t fall asleep and I find myself enjoying the peaceful lull of his even breaths more than I should. I think a lot of things we do are more indulgent than they should be.
Nikolai only comes to visit me when the bags under his eyes become noticeable and his humor falls flatter than normal. I tell myself he takes my comfort because he trusts me to some extent and I give it to him willingly when he seeks it. I’m not fully innocent. I take his peace, his touch and warm sentiments, when they are offered to me. But now I’m bordering on something else. Something much more devastating.
This isn’t something I can afford to think about, to weigh on. Not now when war is on its way and Nikolai already has so much to worry about. Perhaps I’ll mention this to Alina and she’ll manage to give me some type of perspective, but that isn’t something I should do now. When the world has ended or is made safe, then I will sort through the significance of the way my heart stalls or speeds up for him and him alone.
I should just try to fall asleep again. If I do, when I wake up again Nikolai will either already be gone because of his duties or he’ll make some kind of joke about how fortunate I am to wake up to such a sight before trying to coax me back to bed. I shouldn’t want that.
Ugh. He’s so pretty, I hate it. It’s unfair--one cannot expect someone to have someone like Nikolai dote on them, playfully or otherwise, and not catch some type of connection. Even in sleep, with his golden hair disheveled, parted lips, and fluttering eyelids he’s unfairly attractive. I sigh, the irony of the situation twisting my stomach--if he knew my thoughts his ego would bask in them.
As if he can feel my conflict, his defined eyebrows draw together, his placid expression turning harsh. I tense, watching as that look only hardens. Is he...okay? It wouldn’t be the first time he’s had some kind of nightmare. Nikolai’s lips press together, and then he makes a noise. A sad, discomforted sigh.
The remnants of my drowsiness disappear at that. I place a hand on his shoulder thoughtlessly, shaking him once. “Nikolai.” I keep my voice low and soft. His expression stays hard, “Wake up, it’s not…” He lets out another broken sound. I shake him a little more determinedly. “It’s not real.”
Nikolai’s eyelids flutter once more, and he’s pushing himself upwards, sitting up and breathing harshly. My hand falls off his shoulder, but I think it’s better this way. He needs space to realize that he’s safe.
Taking two shallow breaths, Nikolai turns his head. I watch him carefully, resisting the instinctual urge to help him, to comfort him and chase away the darkness that wants to engulf him.
“Y/n?” His voice is so fragile a part of me doesn’t recognize it as his.
I nod my head once, folding my hands in my lap to avoid reaching for him. “You’re okay. It was just a dream.”
His gaze flits from my face to the ruffled blankets draped over me. He’s silent and still. Two things he should never be for a long period of time. Nikolai shifts slowly, as if still trapped in a daze. I let his hand take mine from my lap and pull it towards him. He squeezes my hand once, bringing my knuckles to his lips. I inhale sharply as he exhales, warm breath burning my skin. And then his lips brush against each knuckle. I let him, fighting not to let myself be reduced to a puddle.
Nikolai lifts my hand, coaxing my palm open before placing it on his cheek. I brush my thumb down his cheek. He lets out a breath, the sound is soft yet it leaves my heart raw.
I don’t say anything as he moves his hand down my arm, fingertips leaving my skin electrically charged as he always does. He pauses once his hand is on my shoulder. I let him grip me harder than I normally would. It feels like I am an anchor, weighing him in place so that the dark cannot take him away from me.
My lips part, but I have no words to offer him, not when I don’t know the extent of his torment. Nikolai’s hand brushes past the sleeve of my nightgown and across my collarbone. I swallow once, dropping my gaze to avoid the sharpness of the look he’s giving me.
“You’re heavy sometimes,” I keep my voice low, “I wish I could--”
“You do,” his voice leaves no room for argument. The tone is filled with a tension that he has never used on me. “You do everything.”
“And you are everything.” His expression softens at my words. It feels like a reward in a way.
Nikolai moves forward, the bed makes a noise as he rustles the sheet. I don’t bother asking what he’s doing. He’s always touchier than usual after a nightmare, breaking even more social rules than normal. I let him place his head in the crook of my neck while ignoring the warmth that pushes itself into my chest as he adjusts himself against me. I hesitate before placing my hand on his back even though I know he’d never reject me. He lets out a breath at the additional contact, adjusting himself so that he’s even more against me. I move my hand up and down his back.
The urge to ask him about what his dreams are about bubbles in my chest, but I ignore it. If he wanted to speak about it, he would.
“Things are easier with you.” His voice is so delicate it’s almost hard to bear. His hand presses into my side and my breathing stiffens as a result.“I’m glad you’re here.”
I meet his gaze as he tilts his head upwards. “Of course I am, how could I ever resist someone as wonderful as you?”
The corner of Nikolai’s lips tug upwards, a sign that he appreciates my attempt at humor. “You’re not wrong, darling.” I roll my eyes as he grins, ignoring the way my stomach tightens as he presses his face into my shoulder to hide his amusement. “You’re the wonderful one.”
I smile slightly, sarcastic retort dying in the back of my throat as something in Nikolai shifts. His eyes have taken on a simple, dark quality. I’ve seen this tension in him before, but I’ve never understood it. Nikolai tilts his head slightly, regarding me with more intensity than I know how to deal with. He shifts closer until I can feel his breath on the edge of my jaw. And then I feel his lips brush against skin. Testing, cautious. I don’t move. He must take this as a good sign because he then presses his lips further up my jaw. Again and again, always gentle, always fragile--always more welcomed than it should be.
I close my eyes, indulging in the feel of his touch, and then I feel him touch my cheek. The contact is feather light as my eyes flutter open. He’s close in a different way now, lips two centimeters away from mine.
This means nothing to him, this is nothing to him. It is just a way to push through pain he refuses to share with me. “Nikolai.” It’s meant to be a warning, but it comes out as a breathy sigh. “Nikolai…” A little stronger, he pauses, face a centimeter from my face.
“Y/n.” My name is soft grace on his lips.
My eyes shut. “You can’t--you can’t kiss me just because you need to be distracted.”
His eyebrows draw together and then he straightens. The distance between us leaves me colder than before. “Do you really think that?”
I press my lips together. “We should just go back to sleep--”
“Y/n,” he sighs once, “Is that what you think?”
I stare at the blankets, gripping the fabric. “Does it matter?”
“Yes.” His voice is hard, losing all touches of irony. “It matters.” I stay silent, avoiding Nikolai’s gaze. “Out of all the reasons I want to kiss you, being distracted isn’t even on the list.”
My head snaps in his direction. What is he implying? “What?”
“Y/n,” his hand is on my arm, warm and tempting, “I want to kiss you because when you smile it feels like all the bad goes away. I want to kiss you because you bite your bottom lip when you’re thinking and then that’s the only thing I can think about. I want to kiss you for the same reason I come to your room whenever I want to rest. You’re my tranquility.” My eyes soften at his words, my mind racing at the implications of them. “You’re biting your lip again, darling, and it’s torture.”
On instinct, my lips part slightly. He doesn’t move closer or farther away. I exhale slowly, trying to push away the electric current the potential of this moment is stirring. Nikolai’s hand moves up my arm and settles on my cheek.
His thumb brushes against my cheek, making me melt. “I want to kiss you because when I’m with you all of the bad, all of the uncertainty disappears.”
Nikolai leans forward slightly, breath warm near my skin. “Is that all?”
If his touch wasn’t so enticing I’d roll my eyes at such a blatant attempt to get a compliment. But his touch is all consuming, especially when he moves to run his thumb across my bottom lip. “No--you’re also ridiculously enticing, but something tells me you don’t need me to add to your ego.”
He grins, shifting impossibly closer before finally letting his lips meet mine. The contact is everything I’ve ever needed, his lips warm and inviting and eager. I kiss him back easily, melting into him like that’s where I’ve always belonged. Nikolai pulls away slowly, drawing out the kiss and letting his teeth graze my bottom lip.
“For the record, you’re the only ego boost I need.” He smiles lazily, hand not leaving my cheek. “You’re my peace, y/n,” he exhales flatly, “Please remember that.”
There’s something strangely sleepy yet revered about his tone. “Of course I will,” I hum, letting him rest his head against my chest, “You’re my peace, too.”
“Sometimes when I dream I see you and then I lose you.” Nikolai’s tone leaves my heart sore as he adjusts against me.
“You’re not losing me,” I whisper, eyes fluttering shut. “Ever.” He exhales gently. “Get some sleep--you never get enough rest.”
He squeezes me once, pressing a quick kiss to my collar. “Whatever you want.”
I half roll my eyes, too tired to to call him out on his teasing, the lull of sleep strengthened only by the weight of him against my chest.
--
general tag list: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33
#nikolai lantsov#nikolai lantsov x reader#shadow and bone#shadow and bone x reader#shadow and bone imagine#shadow and bone x you#shadow and bone netflix#shadow and bone show#grishaverse#grishaverse x reader#grishaverse imagine#grisha#grishaverse x you#my works#six of crows imagine#grishaverse imagines
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um the one shot based off of champagne problems was bloody amazing !!! please do a part 2 😩
the amount of requests i got for a part two was scarily high, so here it is;
Harry woke up from another nightmare.
His skin sweating and his hair messy, he had to double check his room and make sure he was safe. He’s bolted up so fast in bed that he was worried he’d knock himself unconscious. When he did a survey of his surroundings and laid back down onto his bed, he cried.
He cried and cried and cried.
Harry let his eyes close and recall that same evening he was having nightmares over.
I couldn’t feel anything.
I was numb to the touch. I felt nauseous. Light-headed. I needed someone to pinch me that this was actually happening, but I was worried I wouldn’t feel anything at all because I knew it was happening. It had happened.
Y/N had left. She’d gone. No, is what she’d said.
The whole in my heart from where Y/N had filled made me feel completely empty and useless. I wouldn’t find a purpose now. I always thought it was going to be Y/M, I was so sure. I thought she’d been sure. Yet, i’d ruined it and now she was gone and all that was left of her was the dark void in my burnt out chest.
My hands shook as I reached into my jacket pocket to pull out the ring box. It’s black velvet coating was dusty, because it was the my grandfathers. It was supposed to mean something, because she meant everything. Yet, she left me. She said no. The one most important person in my life and she’d left me. And fuck did I need her so bad. She was my fucking other half and my soulmate but she’d gone. She said no.
I threw the box into the wall, watching the ring bounce out and onto the floor. I screamed. I let my pain release itself upon me. I wanted to feel something to help me release i’m not as numb as I thought. I crashed onto the floor, knees banging hard on the wooden floorboards. I cried. Eyes stinging and mouth screaming my heartbreaking cries. I was in so much pain and yet had never felt so empty.
I noticed my mum and Gemma run up the stairs first. Mum dropped down next to me whilst Gemma collected the ring and the box, piecing it back together like it wasn’t broken - like it could just be fixed. No. This was unfixable. I was broken.
“Harry breathe hun.” Mum spoke softly and repeated over and over again. I wasn’t short of breathe, I was just extremely numb. Empty. So much pain though. I appreciated that she wasn’t telling me it was okay, but we both knew that was far from the truth. My person, my favourite person, had left me just like that. So quickly.
5 minutes. That’s all it had taken.
A couple of other guests came rushing upstairs, desperate to see a broken man. They were most likely curious as to what had happened to the surprise, but there was none. No surprise, because there was no engagement. It was over and I was done. Finished. Why bother trying to love any more when all it ends is in heartbreak? It must be me. I just must be unlovable.
My hands shook and my cries continued, but it was a friend’s voice that brought me out of my trance.
“She would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame shes fucked in the head.”
I saw red.
How dare they speak about her that way. How far they treat get that way. Y/N may have left me but my heart still fucking beat for her. It bled for her. I was burning for her. I needed her, fuck I needed her.
I got up and ran down the stairs, ignoring everybody. I picked up a bottle of champagne and ran out of the front door. I popped the cork, sending it flying and I walked. I walked and walked and walked. I drank and walked.
The bottle was half empty when I made it onto her driveway.
I didn’t even realise I was here until I was here. I put the bottle down on the floor and straightened my tie, making sure I looked presentable for when I got my already broken heart broken even more. I was ready this time. But I fucking wasn’t. I couldn’t even raise my hand to the doorbell, crying before even lifting it. I cried for me. I cried my shitty heart. I cried because I love Y/N so much. She is my everything.
“H-Harry?” Her voice shot through my body and sent tingles running all up my spine.
I spun around to see her standing half-way down her driveway and eyes so heavy from crying. Her eyes were as bloodshot red as her dress. She looked perfect. Absolutely stunning. Even looking so broken and so…sad, she turned my world on it’s axis and kept me spinning. Looking at her I knew she was my home. My comfort. My person. It was just so hard to understand how 5 minutes could’ve made her feel anything but that for me.
“Y/N.” I tried to say her name firmly, but my voice cracked at the sight of her so broken. At the sight of us so broken.
“Harry w-what are you doing here?” She stuttered, wiping some of her mascara away so she didn’t look so tired and upset.
“5 minutes.” I whispered.
“Sorry wh—”
“I’m just trying to understand how everything fell apart in 5 minutes.”
“It didn’t.” She answered back, making my eyes flicker from the stone cold ground to her breathtakingly beautiful face. She was actually an angel if ever I saw one. The moon shone upon her like it had chosen her specifically to love on. I was jealous. Even the moon could touch what I couldn’t.
“What?” I asked confused.
“Forget it, Harry. We— I can’t do this.”
“Do what?” I begged for answers, moving closer to her and feeling somewhat happy when she didn’t move away from me. It made me relieved that she wasn’t entirely neglectful of me.
“Us, Harry. I can’t— It’s—” And then she started crying really harsh tears. She cupped her delicate hand over her eyes so I couldn’t see those beauties anymore. My heart broken at the sight of my sad girl. I hated it so much. I should be angry, furious, cross, upset. Yet, all I felt was sorrow and hurt for my girl. My Y/N. I moved towards her and hesitated before wrapping my arms around her, enclosing her in the tightest bear hug I could manage. I wanted her to feel loved, at least for a moment.
“Please talk to me, Y/N. I’m begging.” I cried as I rested my head on top of hers. I wanted her to know I was really hurting - that I was just as broken as her.
“I’m so sorry. So sorry Harry.” She just cried and cried, making me cry and cry. Her arms didn’t wrap around me and that stung a little, but I got to hold her so that was enough for me.
“You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” I reassured her, trying to be brave for the both of us.
“I d-don’t deserve to be.” She whimpered and it cracked my heart even more. I was going to need so many fucking plasters for this breakup. And wine. And cigarettes.
“Don’t say that. It’s not true. You just fell out of love with me and—”
She pushed away from me with a strong push, freezing me and making me widen my eyes at both her outburst and strength. “I didn’t!” She shouted, surely the neighbours were hearing this from inside their homes. I didn’t care though. I was focused on her and her alone.
“But...”
“I-I didn’t.” She cried and cried. “I love you. So much Harry. But…”
My heart didn’t know what to do now. Did it hurt for before? Did it hurt for the future? Or should it burn for the emotional tug of war my heart strings were playing?
“But what, baby? Huh? Because I fucking love you so much. Isn’t that enough?” I shouted, trying to get through to her. I needed her. Wanted her. I loved her.
“It is.” She bravely smiled before continuing. “It’s just i’m not enough.” She wobbled her lips about to start crying again but I didn’t let her. I caught up to her and held her cheeks in my palms. Her words hurt even more than a simple no.
“Never say that to me again. Ever. You hear me?” She nodded her head as her eyes clouded over again and mine followed suit. “I love you, Y/N L/N. If you never want to become my wife, that is okay. I am okay with that. I would love to see you walk down an aisle, but not at the cost of this. I’m not loosing you. I won’t. I- I can’t, okay? A world without you… Shit.” I had to stop and breathe to catch my breathe, Y/N still looking at me with starry eyes. “A world without you isn’t with living properly.”
“Harrry…”
“No Y/N. I mean it. Please. I love you. You love me. Why can’t that be enough for us?”
“It is. I-I want it to be.” Y/N stuttered.
“Then what is it?” I asked urgently, not understanding why this was all happening. And now. “What happened in those 5 minutes Y/N?”
“Harry!”
Harry was brought out of his daze, or more of a nightmare, bu shaking hands on his shoulders. His face was wet with tears and his body sweaty. He was okay, though. He tried to push the nightmare away. Far away. It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter, because you were currently straddling his waist looking at him with sorry eyes as you woke him from the nightmare.
You were here.
“Baby…” He whispered, raising an arm to cup your cheek and you leaned into his softly. You gave it a kiss and he welcomed it with all his heart.
“Another nightmare?” You asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah.” He sadly answered and you nodded sadly.
“I’m so sorry.” You spoke quietly, guilt laced rich onto your voice.
“No. Don’t do that. Stop.” Harry ordered, sitting up so that his body pressed against yours. He was so close you could taste the minty toothpaste he used before bed last night.
“It’s just.. Every nightmare you have, I can’t help but feel so guilty.” You frowned, looking to see his head shake at your words.
“Listen to me,” Harry stroked a hand over your hair and left it cupped at the back of your neck for support. “That night, sure, didn’t go as planned. I got hurt, but so did you. It wasn’t just me who had to leave because the heartache was too bad, it was you also. Sure, you were the one to say no, but I was the one who didn’t notice how sad you were. We both made mistakes that night and I won’t let you go another single fucking day thinking that your mistakes were worse than mine. We both hurt that night. We hurt each other. I just don’t ever want to lose you again. That’s why I have the nightmares, because I can’t see you leave me again, angel.”
With teary eyes you looked at him with so much awe. He had fixed your broken heart and you, his. “I love you.” And you meant it.
“I love you.” And he meant it.
He slowly picked up your hand resting it on his cheek for comfort. He loved the feeling of your soft and delicate skin there. You looked into his eyes and knew that he meant every word he’d spoken in the last 5 minutes. He loved you and forever would. The kiss he left to the ring on your finger proved just exactly that.
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfic#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fanfiction#finelinevogue#finelinevogue harry styles#harry blurb#harry oneshot#harry styles concept#ask finelinevogue#ask harry styles#anon response#harry styles champagne problems#champagne problems#champagne problems taylor swift#harry styles taylor swift#part two champagne problems#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles proposal blurb#harry styles proposal
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in the frosty air | a jjk drabble
summary: two weeks ago you and your roommate slept together. which would be fine, if you knew you both felt the same about each other. but you don’t. and now it’s christmas, and jungkook is still gorgeous and gentle and wonderful and here, and and you don’t really know what to do about that.
{college!au, roommates!au}
pairing: jungkook x reader
genre: this is just an angst train tbh, but it has a happy ending!
word count: 1.6k
warnings: mentions of past alcohol consumption, this centers around everyone’s favorite capitalist holiday, being sad in the wintertime
a/n: OHHHHHHHHHH *internet breaks* anyway yeah i’m back baby!!! here’s a little drabble to celebrate because i can’t help myself when it comes to jungkook. love me or we both go down coming soon!
“This Christmas is pretty fucking lame, isn’t it?”
You whip around at the sound of his voice. “Oh, hey. I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I figured,” Jungkook chuckles, bending his head down as he crawls through the open window to join you on the fire escape. The temperature is freezing and the wind is stinging your skin, but it didn’t really feel right to be spending tonight inside. “Saw the window open. Thought you might be here.”
“Yeah. I was probably gonna head inside soon, though.” In the hopes that you would be curled up in your bedroom before Jungkook even got home. Seeing him lately has been hard. “How did your final go?”
“It was alright.” You don’t have to keep looking at him to feel Jungkook taking a seat next to you, crossing his legs over each other as he stares out into the city below you. It snowed a few days ago, and the sidewalks are still covered in that dirty slush that always lingers, wet and cold and black from car tires. Just being beside you makes your heart race, makes your chest tighten. “I was pretty stressed out about it, but then I just sort of remembered that I did my best and that was all I could do, you know?”
“That’s good.” You wish you had that mindset. You spend days studying for an exam and once it’s over, you spend days dwelling on all the things you might have gotten wrong. It’s a philosophy you apply to most aspects of your life. Why you did the thing you did. Why doing the thing you did was the worst thing you could have done. How you will recover from it. If you even will.
Jungkook sighs. You turn to look at him, just briefly, glance at his side figure, and notice he’s wearing nothing but a giant zip-up hoodie. Isn’t he cold? “It doesn’t really feel like Christmas.”
“Yeah.” You don’t have anything else to say to that. It doesn’t. Which is a damn shame, because you and Jungkook spent the entire beginning of this month turning your tiny, two-bedroom apartment into a winter wonderland. You got a tree to put up next to your TV and decorated with the weirdest ornaments you could find. You hung up those dangly white Christmas lights on the balcony of your fire escape, the ones meant to look like icicles dripping from the metal railing. The radio has been playing nothing but Michael Bublé and Mariah Carey. And yet.
It’s not hard to wonder why this Christmas is such shit. Your spring internship fell through a week ago. Your parents rented a lake house and assumed you wouldn’t be coming with. All of your other friends have gone home already. And Jungkook, perhaps the last person in this whole goddamn city you would have wanted to spend time with, you can’t even bear to look at.
“How did your finals go?” Jungkook asks, trying to keep the conversation going.
“They were fine.” At least that torture is over. But living with Jungkook, seeing him every day and knowing that what you have done you can never undo--it’s endless.
There’s silence. It’s like the two of you simultaneously have no idea and know exactly what to say. Like the words are lingering on the tips of your tongues but your lips are sealed shut. Opening them won’t be like a can of worms. It will be a dam, a waterfall of I’m sorrys and What nows. One week ago, in the heat of the night and in the haze of drink after drink, you and Jungkook made the worst mistake two roommates could ever make.
“Are you going home this break?” You blurt out the words before you can stop yourself.
Jungkook sighs. “I’m not sure.”
“It’s okay if you want to.” I get it. I’m not sure if I’d want to hang around and see me either.
He shrugs. “I just haven’t decided yet.”
He knows that you’re staying. The two of you were so looking forward to spending Christmas together. Now look at you. Jungkook was the perfect roommate. Then everything changed.
“Okay.” He’s probably just trying to figure out a way to let you down easy.
Next to you, Jungkook rustles a hand through his pocket. “By the way, uh--I just remembered. I got you something.”
You don’t even have time to object before Jungkook is placing a small fabric box into your open palm, resting on your lap. You look down at the item, at the way your hand seems to envelop it.
“You didn’t have to--”
“I wanted to.” Jungkook is firm in his response. “Besides, I got it a while ago. Figured now is as good a time as any to give it to you.”
There’s not really anything else to do except open it. Carefully, with trembling fingers, you pull off the lid. Inside sits a dainty silver locket resting amongst a pile of folded tissue paper. You gasp, your breath coming out in smoke in the cold winter air.
“Oh my God, I--”
“I overheard you talking on the phone saying you wanted one,” Jungkook admits sheepishly. “I wanted to give it to you before I forgot.”
Fingers shaking from the cold, you pull the locket from the box. It dangles from its chain, a delicate little thing, barely the size of a fingerprint. Even on this hazy winter evening, it still catches the light.
For the first time tonight, you look up at him. His eyes are a swirling brown, a deep chocolate. They are unreadable. He offers a small, guarded smile your way, lips pink in the chilly air. “Thank you,” you tell him honestly. This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for you.
You can’t accept this without returning the favor. Wordlessly, you get up from the fire escape, rushing indoors for a moment as you grab your gift from your bedroom. It’s been sitting in there for at least two weeks now. You hold your hand behind your back as you make your way back to the fire escape, sitting down next to him once more.
With a small flourish, you reveal your own present. They’re drumsticks.
“For you,” you tell him, that same small grin on your face. “Since you’re always drumming on everything. Thought you could use something to do that with.”
Jungkook looks positively starstruck. He takes the sticks in his hands, feels the wood with his fingers, tracing over the logo at the bottom. You aren’t very well versed in the world of drum equipment, but your friend in the orchestra told you it was a good brand.
“Wow, Y/N,” he says, mouth agape. “This is... this is the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever gotten me. Thank you.”
“Always.”
And that’s the truth, isn’t it? No matter what you do, no matter what you say, you will always be there to give Jungkook what he deserves. To make his life just the tiniest bit better. Doing thoughtful things for him has never required effort on your part. There is just a part of you that will do them, because he deserves it. Because he is so gentle, and loving, and kind, and wonderful.
You sit there for a little while longer, relishing in the brief respite of your gift exchange. It’s softened the ice, warmed the air, broken the tension. Even if only a little. But it’s enough to keep you out here, sitting next to him. It’s enough to keep you from drifting away.
“I don’t regret that night.”
The words feel like biting wind.
“What?” You turn to him.
“I don’t. I’d do it again. A thousand times over.” Jungkook is resolute. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed in determination.
“Jungkook, what happened that night--”
“Is something I’ll never forget,” he finishes. “Do you know how fucking long I had been waiting to do that? To hold you? Kiss you? To spend the night with you?”
Each syllable presses deeper into your chest, imprinting themselves on your heart. You stare back at him, too shocked to say anything at all.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same,” Jungkook adds on, quickly backtracking. “I sort of... got that message when I woke up that morning and you were gone. But I just wanted you to know that that night didn’t change anything about how I feel about you.”
Jungkook’s got it all wrong. You were the one who fucked up. You were the one whose feelings won’t change. “I thought you were the one who didn’t feel the same.”
Jungkook chuckles, this sad, forced cough. “Are you kidding? I’d do anything to relive that night. You’re my favorite person in this whole world, Y/N.”
If the weather were just a little bit warmer, if the wind wasn’t as dry, perhaps tears would fall. But instead, you blink back at him and it feels at once like your heart weighs a million pounds and nothing at all. “Me too,” you choke out. “I never want to be without you.”
Your fire escape is barely big enough for one person, let alone two, but that doesn’t stop Jungkook from reaching over and pulling you in, pressing a chilly kiss to your frozen lips, the heat of his mouth warming you up from the inside out. It’s cold tonight, yes. But Jungkook makes you feel like it’s summer all year long.
You smile against his lips. They feel like home. They taste like peppermint lip balm and coffee and ice.
“Do you want me to stay?” He asks. As if he was even thinking about going home anyway.
“Yes,” you whisper back.
It feels a lot more like Christmas now.
“Then I’ll stay.”
↳ don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback! i missed you guys!
#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#bts fluff#bts angst#bts scenario#jungkook scenario#bts imagine#jungkook imagine#bts au#jungkook au#not me writing this because i felt like some jk college angst and also wanted to celebrate my return with more than just a text post#w: in the frosty air#DOES IT REALLY DESERVE A W: TAG??? ITS A DRABBLE
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Streamer Eren Headcanon pt 2
`❥ AU: Modern!AU
`❥ Genre: Fluff
`❥ Pairing: Streamer!Eren x Black!Reader
`❥ Warnings Include: Profanity, Established relationship, Eren is a dork
`❥ Author Note: You guys loved the first one so much I decided to do it again. Sorry if it isn't as good as the first one, I'm working on other projects at the same time
Eren met you during college and was instantly smitten
You were a foreign student studying abroad
He spent months trying to learn English just to properly talk to you
You finally cave in and go on dates with him because slfkssrlw how could you not when he's that sweet
Having said that, when you're frustrated whilst he streams, to check on you he'll switch over to English.
"Hey pretty girl whats wrong?"
"I can't find the letters for my cross word."
"....Aha lemme see."
He is trying his hardest not to laugh at your cute little scrunched up face as he helps you find the word.
During his charity streams, by popular vote, he lets you do his make up
Despite the stream being 24 hrs long people continue to watch because the interactions are too cute.
" 'Ren stay still."
"It feels moist."
"Never say that again."
"Wait. Babe. I want the thingy on my eyes."
"Thingy?"
"Yeah the sharp shit and the stuff on my lashes."
"Its called wing liner and mascara, Eren."
"Yeah that shit."
"Don't swear. Kids are watching."
"Man fuck them-"
"Yeager."
"....Ahem... sorry."
He is definitely the baddest bitch after you finish <3
Kept the make up on even after the stream finished
He may be a COD player but he does not have toxic masculinity
LOVES how he looks when pampered and whilst he'll never go out of his way to do make up or use your products; if you ever offer he's down
"What that's shit on your face?"
"It's an Indian face mask."
"It looks like throw up."
"Do you wanna try it?"
"Yes."
Once talked shit about braids not hurting that bad.
So the only natural solution was to make a bet
You styled his beautiful long hair into nice and neat cornrows (if you can't braid, take him to the africans)
He couldn't even sit through the procedure, literally got up and left midway through
"Fuck no. I like pain as much as the next guy but hell no."
"Aw baby what wrong? I thought it wasn't that bad."
Went on stream the next day to talk about the experience and why he wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Everyone can tell that your relationship is serious when you accidentally broke his PS5
Like he gets absolutely livid and wants to do nothing more than yell at you
But after seeing your teary eyed expression and your broken apologies in German
He just accepts it and steps completely out of the room to keep from blowing up on you.
It takes a few days and even though you feel completely like shit, you dont bother him
He finally comes around and just holds you tightly
No words or anything
His gesture is enough to let you know he forgives you.
He gets a new one immediately and is more careful when it comes to letting you mess with alone though lmao
Decides to do the little draw my life video and moves people to tears without trying
He thought his trauma was normal pfft
While that gets to people, what really affects his audience is when he get to how you make him feel
"If I can describe Y/n with one word, I'd have to say sunshine. You know that feeling when you've seen nothing but depressing rainstorms for months at a time but just that one day, the sun pokes out and shows that the world isn't so gloomy and bad. It's actually quite beautiful. The sun manages to make those sad raindrops look like diamonds. Thats Y/n to me. She makes the days where I feel at my worst better in every way. "
Eren suffers from a couple mental illnesses which is why he donates to their respected charities
He suffers from ADHD, Depression, and Anger issues.
Now you can't just magically make all of his issues go away but you being around does soothe him in a special way
Not many people can do that and LOTS have tried
But you just manage to get him in ways he cant explain
Even the videos with all of his friends involved, his focus on you
Fans can tell when you guys are not together during streams
Eren's temper is a lot shorter and he pops off quickly.
And of course he just so happens to play "getting over it"
This is one of those times he gets cancelled
Coochie-manz63: wow ur trash
"You're literally someone who hides behind a fucking screen to talk shit but I know if I was in front of you; there would be no exchange because if you so much looked at me wrong, I would have beaten your ass into fucking next year, you dyslexic fucking waste of space. Learn how to goddamn spell before you try to talk shit again."
IloveYEAGGGGER23: Damn..
You ended up being the one to clean up his mess, yet again
"Eren is very sorry for his actions, He understands how his words can be hurtful to others.. Right babe?"
"Huh? Oh um yeah.. My bad ig."
After the apology video, you give Eren one of your famous lectures.
"Eren you can't treat others like that just because you get a little upset. Remember what your therapist said about controlling your temper. You can't just do it when I'm around, you have to do it all the time.
Now Eren loves you to pieces but your lectures just do not help his ADHD mind.
So to shut you up, he does the only thing he knows how
Takes your breath and thoughts away with his passionate kisses.
His pattern is always the same
He pretends to listen, nodding occasionally, stands up and moves closer to you.
Grabs your jaw gently and tips your head back before capturing your lips into a sheering kiss that always leaves you breathless
"What were we talking about?"
"We were just going to get some food."
You're just as weak for Eren as he is for you <3
#eren x black reader#eren jaeger#eren aot#snk#aot headcanons#eren headcanons#eren yeager x black reader#black reader#eren has anger issues but is still sweet
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as someone who shipped sambucky since civil war, I feel like I have to recommend the best pre-tfatws sambucky fics I've read on ao3
double back by flowermasters
Sam gets stuck in a time loop. In 1943.
Things could be worse, but they could certainly be better.
quick time by flowermasters
He’s never bought Sam a drink in any of the other loops—all ten of them, now. Maybe he should’ve tried that earlier.
Companion to double back.
Thanks by TheHedgehogSong
He opens the door to find Sam standing on the other side. "Me and the others are going to watch some movies in the living area if you're interested." Sam says by way of greeting.
"Steve ask you to keep an eye on me?"
"Yep." Sam replies simply. "So if you could come and sit with us it would make my job a lot easier."
"You're so charming." Bucky deadpans and Sam smiles at him.
"Hey when I'm putting on the charm you'll know." Sam says and jerks his head in the direction of the living area. "Come on, otherwise Clint will start the movie without us and if I miss the start I'm going to be pissed." With that Sam walks away. Bucky watches him for a moment before trailing after him – he guesses there's worst ways to spend the day.
Marriage Counseling for the Inept and Oblivious by ToriCeratops
Or: How Steve Rogers likes to play matchmaker for his infuriating best friends.
my love language is annoying the shit out of you by desastrista
There's a lot of nuances of human romance that Vision doesn't understand, but he thinks he can see what is developing between Sam and Bucky. Even if no one else does.
semi-cataclysmic events by wilsonsnest
It took time travel for Steve to figure his shit out, so Bucky doesn’t think he’s doing too bad.
feat. Old!Steve, Cap!Sam and Pining!Bucky
Flesh And Bones by asgardianthot
in a world where people bond with their soulmates through physical pain, living in the same compound makes the search much easier (or it should, if they weren't so damn stubborn)
When I'm With You (i'm who i want to be) by theappleppielifestyle
Threat, his mind says, but Sam Wilson makes him feel the opposite a threat makes him feel, like he's safer than he has been in seventy years.
Honey, Til I Die You'll Have Me Too by Ithinkwehaveanemergency
Five of Bucky's Friday nights in the months following the battle of Upstate New York.
“You stayed for me?” Sam's voice is a whisper. His eyes are more open and vulnerable than Bucky has ever seen.
“Eh.” Bucky smirks, trying to escape the heaviness of the conversation. “Mostly didn't wanna go back to an era where I wasn't an honorary citizen of Wakanda. God, I love that place .”
three words that became hard to say by suzukiblu
“I wanna step out with Wilson,” Bucky says, audibly traumatized. Steve blinks again, and lowers the shield.
“Uh,” he says. “Come again?”
I just couldn't say it out loud. by ashers_kiss
“Are you flirting with me?”
“Yes?” Bucky tries.
Are you both courting? by daredeviltrash
Gamora and Mantis asks bird boy and metal arm guy if they're dating. hilarity and sad stuff ensues.
farmhouse by Tazmaster
"You know, I think I'd want a farmhouse."
"A what?" Sam turns to look at him, slightly annoyed. This was the first thing Bucky has said in the past hour and a half they've been cramped in this god forsaken car. He had a knack for impulsively voicing his dumb thoughts at the worst times, but whenever you wanted to know what was actually going on in that head of his, he'd never say.
They were staking out the front gate of a large mansion, very much not a farmhouse. It was mind numbingly boring, being stuck in a beetle with absolutely nothing else to do than stare at the gaudy gates of some rich asshole.
"A farmhouse," Bucky repeats nonchalantly, "If we ever get out of this business, or you know, live long enough to retire maybe--- I want a farmhouse. With a lot of animals."
---
Bucky keeps talking about a farmhouse and it drives Sam crazy, that is until he finally asks why.
These Walls are Shakin' with My Heartbeat by Ithinkwehaveanemergency
“Well now I need to know.” Sam rolls his eyes. “Please, enlighten me. Explain why an eighteen year old is so invested in our non-existent sexual relationship.”
“She’s almost twenty. You were at her nineteenth birthday party.” Bucky frowns at Sam, disappointed.
Or
Sam tries to process Shuri's inappropriate suggestion that he should have sex with Bucky, and Bucky won't stop eating his fucking pizza.
6PM/8PM by captainafroelf
Sam gets a call from a world away.
If I'm the Last One Standing, I Would Want to Watch it Burn With You by Ithinkwehaveanemergency
Just before the final fight in Infinity War, Sam and Bucky have a moment.
Or
My canon compliant explanation for why Sam and Bucky are so cozy and content with what happened in Endgame.
Just an illusion by Llixale
Bucky and Sam are back from the Soul stone, unaware that they shared more than the experience of being snapped.
The Simple Life by through_shadows_falling
One year since the Accords, and Steve asks Sam to check up on Bucky in Wakanda. Sam agrees, but the man he finds is the not the man he expected...though that's not exactly a bad thing.
Bucky is a peaceful goat farmer who enjoys the simple life, and who happens to be attractive as hell.
Sam is so freaking screwed.
Takes place between Civil War and Infinity War Part 1.
Alone, With You by cruxcantare
Sam's pretty sure they're dead. Bucky disagrees. But whatever this is, it isn't living.
warm blood (feels good, i can't control it anymore) by notcaycepollard
Sam's just chilling watching TV one evening when Bucky comes in and stares at him silently for a minute or two before sitting down on the couch. He's pretty close to Sam.
Okay, he's really close to Sam. Like, Sam would be using the word 'cuddling' if it wasn't so bizarre.
"What," he says, carefully not looking at Bucky, and Bucky huffs a sigh.
"Steve's not here," he says as if it's obvious. "Don't make it weird. Just- shut up."
Unexpected Houseguest by faeryn
When Sam comes across Bucky in the strangest of places, his first instincts are to run, and to call Steve. He does neither, and in doing so manages to form a strange bond with the Soviet assassin who once tried to kill him. Bucky is broken, a shell of his former self, and Sam wants nothing more than to help return him to himself. But can he maintain a respectable and responsible distance from the man, despite how Bucky draws him in, in order to help him? Or will he falter, and shatter all the progress he has made by giving in to his own desires?
The Multiverse of the Falcon and the Winter Soldier by OhHelloFandoms123
Sam and Bucky find themselves trapped in alternate realities of their lives due to Dr Strange, they have to find out how to get back to their reality.
or
“How come in every fucking universe we’re married?” Sam said, looking around the place, raising his arms in anger and confusion.
“I’m not sure, maybe it’s trying to tell us something.” Bucky replied, shuffling his feet, looking at the ground.
a couple more fics that I remembered later
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everything happens for a reason part 6 - zuko x fem!reader
The thing about forever is that it's a fucking lie
part 5 | masterlist | part 7
a/n: you all know whats coming lmao i got nothing to say for myself
wc: 3.5k
warning(s): pakku's usual sexism, typical siege of the north stuff, mostly angst but a lil bit of fluff in there
chapter title comes from forever is a lie by bea miller!
“I can’t believe that your tribe doesn’t teach waterbending to women!” Katara fumed, the snow beneath her feet packed tightly from her continuous pacing. “I mean, how can they even do that? Master Pakku’s all about ‘his culture and his teachings’ but his teachings are completely sexist!”
Y/N just nodded along as she listened to Katara — Master Pakku had refused to teach Katara, and after a disappointing healing lesson she had found Y/N to rant. “Yep. It’s unfair, but there’s not much we can do about it.”
Katara frowned and stopped in her tracks. “Don’t you want to learn how to fight too? I love being able to heal and help people, don’t get me wrong, but healing isn’t all I want to do.”
A shaky sigh fell from her lips and she shrugged, adjusting her position on the platform of ice she had made to sit on. “Well… yeah, I guess. I know a couple of martial moves, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to know more. But Katara, I—”
Y/N was silent for a moment as flashes of the past played behind her eyelids. “I’m not like you. I’m not the kind of person to challenge the rules. Not anymore.”
Katara shook her head, already back to her pacing. “I think you’re selling yourself short. I saw your healing during your class — you’re really talented, Y/N, and I know that skill will transfer over to fighting.”
“Thank you, but— but it doesn’t matter how good we are. Master Pakku is just as stubborn as he is talented, and I think he’d rather die than be a decent person. It’s a shame though. I’d really like to see someone knock some sense into him.”
“Yeah…” Katara sighed. “Hopefully Aang is having a better time than I am.” She looked up at the sky then fixed Y/N with a wry smile. “Speaking of Aang, I should probably get back to him and my brother. Sorry for talking your ear off the whole night.”
Y/N waved her hand around nonchalantly. “Don’t worry about it. You have my permission to rant to me any time you want while you’re here.”
Katara grinned and offered her hand, which Y/N took with a small smile as she got up from her ice platform. With a slight movement of her hand she bent it back into the ground, and the two girls began their walk back to the city. “I just wish I knew how to get Pakku to let up.”
“You’ll think of something,” Y/N reassured.
-
Katara did indeed think of something. Y/N’s wish of Pakku getting some sense knocked into him was granted when Katara challenged him to a fight, which was quite possibly the best thing that Y/N had ever witnessed. Though she ultimately lost, he still decided to take her on as a student — and in a move that Y/N would forever be grateful for, Katara had gotten Pakku to take her on as well. Katara made history that day, and she felt a shining sense of admiration for the girl for shaking things up.
And now, her days consisted of early mornings spent training, afternoons in classes, and nights doing homework, as well as fitting in time to hang out with Yue — it was a miracle she had any free time at all.
Lately though, it seemed like all Yue could talk about was Sokka. She liked him just as much as he liked her, but Yue was good — no matter how much she cared for someone, her tribe would always come first.
(“Did I hear that you and Sokka have a date later tonight?” she teased. “Aren’t you moving a little too fast?” Yue was silent at her attempt at humor and Y/N frowned. “Yue, are you okay?”
Silence lingered in the air for so long that Y/N almost thought she didn’t hear her, but finally the princess spoke as she pulled down the collar of her jacket to reveal an engagement necklace. Y/N gasped.
“It’s from Hahn,” she said quietly. “He proposed an hour ago, and I accepted.”
“You what?” Y/N cried, prompting a slight grimace from Yue. “Hahn— you can’t stand him!”
“Y/N, please,” Yue sighed. “He’s not that bad — he’s handsome, I guess. And he’s the son of a noble, and he’ll be really good for the tribe.”
“Yue, you’re the one who has to deal with him. He proposed to you, not the tribe — Spirits, half the boys in this tribe like you, why him?”
“It’s best for the tribe,” she repeated, her words an attempt to convince Y/N as much as herself.
“But what’s best for you?” Y/N countered.
Yue hadn’t answered, and had made up some half-baked excuse that she had to be somewhere. She had watched her go sadly, hoping that she would figure something out with Sokka.)
And it’s not like she wasn’t happy that her friend had found someone, it was just…
Y/N was upset that someone wasn’t her. And she didn’t know how to deal with that revelation.
But one morning, while making idle conversation with Katara as their lesson came to an end, a matter much more pressing came to hand.
Black snow. Soot raining down from the sky, tarnishing everything it touched.
A feeling all too familiar brewed in her chest as she met her friend’s eyes, and one thing was clear.
The Fire Nation was coming.
-
The air was even more frigid than usual with the knowledge of an imminent invasion, and Y/N had parted ways with her friends once they reached the town hall to be with her grandparents. The tension in the air was thick as Chief Arnook stepped up to address the people.
“The day we have feared for so long has arrived — the Fire Nation is on our doorstep. It is with great sadness I call my family here before me, knowing well that some of these faces are about to vanish from our tribe, but they will never vanish from our hearts. Now, as we approach the battle for our existence, I call upon the great spirits. Spirit of the Ocean! Spirit of the Moon! Be with us! I'm going to need volunteers for a dangerous mission.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, Sokka stood up. “Count me in.”
Her eyes widened as she met Katara’s from across the room, and she looked equally surprised. “Sokka…”
“Be warned: many of you will not return.” Several other men stood up after Sokka, including her grandfather. Despite his age he was a skilled fighter, but that was no comfort to Y/N. She reached up for his hand and shook her head almost desperately, but he smiled sadly and squeezed her hand, a sentiment to express words unsaid. “Come forward to receive my mark, if you accept the task.”
As he walked forward to join the line, she found the only solace she could in her grandmother’s open arms, burying her face in the fur of her jacket. “He will be okay,” she soothed. “He’s just as strong as he is brave. You have to have faith.”
She hoped that her grandmother was right. She couldn’t handle another loss.
Once all the men had received their marks, they left to confer about the battle plan. Y/N found her way up to the stage where a tearful Yue sat. It pained Y/N to see her in such a way, and when she sat down and offered her hand the princess immediately took it.
“I saw that your grandfather volunteered,” she said after a beat of silence. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too. For Sokka.” Y/N adjusted her position so their shoulders were touching, and she sighed heavily. “I can’t stop thinking about my village. My father.” She met Yue’s eyes, her own beginning to tear up.
“What if it happens again?” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I can’t— I can’t do it again.”
Yue let go of her hand to wrap the girl in a hug, the warmth of the embrace managing to chip away at some of their hopelessness. “You won’t have to do it again,” she stated, the reassurance seeming like the truth when coming from her. “You’re not alone this time.”
She finally pulled away from the hug as she wiped the tears off her face, and Y/N nodded. Yue somehow always knew exactly what to say. “What would I do without you?” she asked, her voice slightly watery.
“You’re never going to know,” the princess smiled. “Because whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me.” That got a laugh out of Y/N and the two of them stood up as Yue gestured outside with her head. “I think I saw Aang and my father out there. It’ll help to talk with them — I think you need some fresh air anyways.”
Y/N nodded and the two girls walked out hand in hand, a small reprieve from carrying the weight of the world.
-
Things were so much worse than she had been anticipating.
After a short talk outside the hall with Katara, Aang, and the Chief, Yue had been transported somewhere safer as Y/N steeled herself for the front lines. After all, as a student of Master Pakku, she could fight damn well — it was just a matter of putting it into action.
But a line of warriors and children alike were no match for the strength of the Fire Nation from afar, and the first few fireballs had done their job at disrupting both the fighters and the wall — Seeing her home get destroyed hurt nearly as much as constantly getting thrown around.
After Aang had taken off on Appa and Chief Arnook took a section of his soldiers off for a different plan, the work on the ground began. The fleet of ships seemed endless , and the same went for their artillery — the fight went long into the day as Y/N worked with various other waterbenders to stop fireballs and repair broken parts of the city’s infrastructure, but just as the full moon began to show, the attacks stopped coming. Limbs heavy with exhaustion from their work in the field, Y/N and Katara met up with the princess back at the balcony of the palace.
“They’ve stopped firing,” Yue noted as they all gazed off into the distance.
“Thank the spirits,” Y/N muttered as she worked out a knot in her shoulder. “I don’t know how much longer I could’ve kept going.”
Just then, Appa came into view and a grin spread across Katara’s face. “Aang!”
He landed below them and the three girls hurried down to meet him. Aang landed on the ground, exhaustion clear in every part of him. “I can’t do it,” he muttered as he placed his head in his hands. “I can’t do it.”
“What happened?” Katara asked as she ran up to him, Yue and Y/N close behind.
“I must’ve taken out a dozen Fire Navy ships, but there’s just too many of them!” His large grey eyes were full of hopelessness, and Y/N’s heart ached for the boy. “I can’t fight them all.”
“But— you have to!” Yue pleaded. “You’re the Avatar.”
“I’m just one kid,” Aang countered wearily. He buried his face in his arms and Katara kneeled next to him in an attempt to comfort him. Y/N could almost forget about the pain in her body at that moment, feeling an odd responsibility to this boy as she looked down at him.
“Aang,” she muttered, following Katara’s example and kneeling next to him. “You’ve already done so much for us. Just by being here, you’ve inspired hundreds of people — you’re a beacon of hope all on your own! We don’t expect you to take out this whole navy by yourself. As long as you’re here, fighting with us? You’re helping us more than you know.”
He managed a slight smile at that and he took her outstretched hand, getting pulled back to his feet with her help.
“We’ll have a better view from up there,” Katara noted, pointing back up to the balcony. “You can help us keep watch, Aang — in case they start attacking again.”
He nodded and the four of them began the walk, the Avatar in slightly better spirits.
“The legends say the moon was the first waterbender,” Yue said once they had reached the balcony, all of them gazing at the sky. “Our ancestors saw how it pushed and pulled the tides and learned how to do it themselves.”
“I’ve always noticed my waterbending is stronger at night,” Katara mused, causing Y/N to hum in agreement.
“Our strength from the spirit of the moon, our life from the spirit of the ocean,” she said. “They work together to keep balance.
Aang’s expression brightened at her words as he popped up from the ground. “The spirits! Maybe I can find them and get their help!”
“How can you do that?” Y/N questioned.
“The Avatar is the bridge between our world and the Spirit World,” Katara explained excitedly. “Aang can talk to them!”
“Maybe they’ll give you the wisdom to win this battle!” Yue exclaimed.
“Or maybe they'll unleash a crazy amazing spirit attack on the Fire Nation!” At that, all three girls met him with strange looks. Aang coughed and straightened his posture. “Or wisdom. That's good, too.”
“The only problem is, last time you got to the Spirit World by accident,” Katara said with a frown. “How are you going to get there this time?”
Yue’s eyes lit up and she looked at them with a smile. “I have an idea. Follow me.”
-
A few minutes later, they were standing in the Spirit Oasis, the most spiritual place in all of the North. Yue, Y/N, and Katara all shed their coats as Aang walked around, marvelling at the beauty.
“I can feel… something,” Aang said as he sat down, getting into a meditating position. “It’s so tranquil.”
Soon enough, after a few moments of silence, Aang’s eyes as well as the arrow on his head began to glow.
“Is he okay?” Yue gasped.
“He’s crossing into the Spirit World,” Katara reassured. “He’ll be fine as long as we don’t move his body. That’s his way back to the physical world.”
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Y/N whispered, astonishment etched into her face. For as much as she had been taught about the ocean spirits, she wasn’t well-versed in the Spirit World as a whole — she was thoroughly fascinated by every part of this.
“Maybe we should get some help,” Yue suggested, still on edge as she took a few steps away from the gate.
“No, he’s my friend. I’m perfectly capable of protecting him. Besides, I already have some help here.” She smiled at Y/N, a sentiment that she returned happily.
A deep voice, almost mocking, broke the silence as it echoed throughout the oasis. “Well, aren’t you a big girl now? Even got yourself a little student.”
The three girls all whipped around to find the source of the voice, and Katara’s whole body stiffened. “No…”
“Yes. Hand him over and I don’t have to hurt you.”
Y/N immediately eased into a bending stance along with Katara as the princess fled to get help, but her confidence faltered when she took the time to focus on their assailant.
She almost didn’t recognize him — it had been nearly four years since she had last set eyes upon the boy, but it was as if he had become a completely different person. His head was shaved completely save for a ponytail, and blues and reds marked his skin in various cuts and bruises. His eyes held an anger she had never seen before, an expression only heightened with the addition of a large red scar across his left eye.
“Zuko?” she breathed, her chest tightening up beneath the weight of the revelation. Katara stared at her in bewilderment — she had no idea that Y/N knew the prince that had chased them halfway across the world, but Katara supposed that she had no reason to ever suspect she did.
His eyes flashed with recognition as they ran over her, and it seemed as if he had a similar epiphany as he staggered backwards. “I… I thought you were dead.”
“You’re with them,” she muttered, blood turning to ice. “Your nation is invading, and you’re helping them— you’re after the Avatar? What are you doing, Zuko?!”
The momentary surprise was replaced by steely determination as he shifted his weight forward and kicked up his leg, sending a blast of fire that she barely managed to dodge. “You know nothing!”
Y/N fell back into position next to Katara, but the newfound knowledge was like a fog over her mind. “Whoever he was when you knew him, that’s not him anymore!” Katara yelled as she bent water out of the pond and blocked his following attacks. “He won’t hesitate to hurt you, so you can’t either!”
“O-okay!” she stammered. This was the moment she had been waiting for, wasn’t it? After training with both Katara and Pakku, her martial skill had increased tenfold, and she was desperate to try it out — she only wished her first opponent didn’t have to be him. But another fire blast snapped her out of her paralysis, and she jumped into action.
The two girls worked impossibly well together, one stepping forward when the other fell back, the bending between them nearly seamless. Any fire that the prince sent their way was quickly extinguished, and with two against one on home turf, Y/N and Katara were able to hold him off with relative ease.
Y/N bent another jet of water up from the oasis and shot it at Zuko, the force of which knocked him several feet back. Katara took the opening and froze his feet to the ground, then began to move her arms about as she formed a ball of water around him — one more movement and it was frozen solid.
“You little peasant,” he growled. “You’ve found a master, haven’t you?”
The orb of ice began to glow, the air around them becoming hotter and hotter until it melted around him. Blasts of fire were flying at them as soon as Zuko hit the ground, and they were forced to retreat back towards the oasis as they grew more intense.
Y/N drew up a shield of water, extinguishing the flames on impact. Zuko dodged around them, his fingers inches away from Aang’s collar. Y/N propelled the water already at her fingertips towards Zuko with a grunt of effort, which sent him flying into the shallows on the other side of the oasis. She conjured up a large wave and sent it towards the prince, sending him up the side of the wall and trapping him once Katara froze it.
She breathed a sigh of relief and let her arms fall, a part of her wondering how they were still connected after the tediousness of the earlier battle. But this, one on one in a fight with real stakes? It was as exhilarating as it was nerve wracking, and she had never been so thankful that Katara had gotten her in with Master Pakku. Y/N felt intensely guilty over the pain she had inflicted on Zuko, but she tried her best to push it out of her mind — like Katara said, he would’ve done worse if she hadn’t fought back.
“You fought well,” Katara smiled. “I told you that you were talented.”
She chuckled and shrugged, cheeks heating up slightly at the praise. “It’s not exactly my first fight, just… the most intense.” It reminded her of the early mornings and late nights spent sparring with Zuko, a memory that only twisted the dagger in her heart even more.
The two girls smiled at each other as they began to walk back over to Aang — it seemed the boy was undisturbed by the fight by virtue of his glowing tattoos and closed eyes — when Y/N found herself squinting from the rays of light filtering in.
“Huh,” she mumbled. “The sun’s out. The sun’s out— Katara!”
Y/N turned to find the prince free from the ice, and the pair barely had time to draw water from the pond to shield themselves from the impending flames. But it was too little too late, and the power of the blast sent them back several feet. They slammed into either side of the gate, the force of it immediately knocking Katara out.
Y/N gasped in pain as she tried to push herself up, but the fight combined with the impact of her landing had taken a toll on her and she collapsed once more against the gate. When the smoke from the fire cleared, Zuko was there with Aang’s collar in his grasp.
“You rise with the moon,” he muttered, his face tinged with the slightest bit of guilt as he met her eyes. “I rise with the sun.”
The last thing she saw before her consciousness faded out was the boy she loved escaping with the Avatar.
-
why did i make yue and y/n like this when i KNOW what i have to write next omg i hate myself
perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77
ehfar: @chandies-sideblog @persica27 @anzanity @randomthingssss @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @shanksfav @shephard17895 @ilovespideyyy
atla: @marianne1806
#zuko x reader#zuko x you#zuko x y/n#zuko x reader fic#zuko#zuko fic#avatar#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fic#avatar fic#avatar the last airbender fic#avatar x reader#sadie writes#ehfar#i already had this chapter half written so thats why its out so soon lmao#SOMEONE doesnt know how to hold their chapters and wants to release them as soon as she finishes them#its me. im someone
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Saturn and narcissism
Many people have a faulty perception as to what narcissism really is. It is usually described in terms of overt behavior of self-aggrandizement, vanity and excessive self-love. This would be the over-simplified and non-helpful way to describe it, because it doesn’t pinpoint the reason for, or encompass the complexity of this character trait or “personality disorder”. When it comes to narcissism, the overt self-inflation is not really what it seems because it doesn’t spring from a true sense of grandeur. It stems from a deep sense of lack and insecurity, which the person has over-compensated for. There’s a difference between a person who is genuinely self-loving and someone who needs to focus excessively on the self and one’s success in order to not feel inferior.
Saturn (and Capricorn for that matter) in the natal chart seems to me to be in line with what one could label “narcissism” because he is generally associated with struggle and deprivation. Saturn is indicative of a psychic lack, which can manifest itself in different ways depending on the sign placement, house placement and aspects made to other planets. Usually, there’s deep inadequacy that is felt, some void that is not filled and coped with through clever defenses. I’d like to think that most people have narcissistic traits; I have certainly not met a single person that hasn’t displayed some kind of cold and walled-off behavior. Of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone can be said to have the personality disorder, but, everyone has Saturn somewhere in their chart and his placement indicates where we have built the most rigid defenses, where we are painfully serious and where we are the most vulnerable. It is also the place where we feel the most undeveloped and infantile, and it’s often hidden behind a façade of competence or proclaimed superiority (or inferiority designed to instill guilt in other people for being better or more “accomplished”).
Narcissistic individuals can be very controlling, manipulative, false and uncaring. They can lead double lives and twist the truth to their liking. This is understandable since they are buffering themselves from a (seemingly) permanent inner wound and can’t live their lives from a place of authenticity – the pain of the void in annihilating and needs to be covered over. Feelings of guilt and shame are usually carefully contained within, but sometimes these surface in response to something small, and there’s an over-reaction that is obviously stemming from something more serious than the “superficial” trigger. Typically, people who are involved with this person feels like they have to walk on eggshells around them and might become hyper alert as to not say something that would provoke the narcissistic injury. The rage storms, critique, pessimism, skepticism and double messages are commonly displayed within personal relationships, rather than publicly, but there certainly are cold, competitive and authoritarian people in the work place and on the public arena as well. The negative traits are typically mixed with charming and likable qualities that cause confusion and cognitive dissonance in others.
In extreme cases of narcissism, to the point where it could appropriately be labeled a disorder, the person might be unable to be in touch with any sense of guilt or remorse for inflicting other people pain. This coldness is more often than not an adaptation to a very unforgiving and controlling early environment that caused the individual to put up high walls between the self and other people. When emotions are continuously taken advantage of and there’s no room for developing something real, the person must emotionally disconnect from life because the world is ruthless and non-conducive to well-being. The price for walling oneself off is internal isolation, emotional starvation and deep depression – but it’s sometimes better to be “voluntarily” starving than to be starved by the world. Although lack is usually seen as a bad thing, it comes with its own hidden treasure. It invites the opportunity to build something that is resilient and reliable that will stand the test of time, something that isn’t reliant on circumstances to exist. If anything, Saturn lends itself to being self-motivated because everyone in the external is a threat and would take pleasure (even if it’s not admitted to) in seeing another fail. Humans are quick to take delight, however slight, in another person’s relative disadvantage and weakness. People feed off of the pain of others, to varying degrees of severity.
In my own experience, I’ve found that people can be very nice and encouraging and openly supportive, only to make you feel at ease, and then they use that openness to that they’ve created in order to disempower you through instilling doubt and shame when it suits them. This is exactly how Saturn works. His function is to disarm the “opponent” (everyone is a potential threat) in order to protect the personal ego from facing annihilation. His attempt is essentially to strip away everything that isn’t real and pure within through playing the devil’s advocate. People play this ruthless game of the “devil” with each other all the time – especially when they feel vulnerable and need to drag someone down in the pit of self-doubt with them. People point out each other’s shortcomings, their deficiencies, their falsity and their hypocrisy. No one is as keen to point out the wrong doings of others than the Saturnian because he is striving for realness and substance. Everything that is built on shaky ground will be destroyed in his presence. The same can be said about the narcissistic individual – he will accuse others of being or doing the very things he is afraid are his own sins, primarily to deflect the shame, but also to test the other person’s realness or integrity. That which shatters under pressure is not very reliable and the Saturnian is looking for quality and substance. The sad thing is that just about anything can be dismantled and broken in this world – except that which can’t. What that is exactly is for people to find out for themselves.
It is often said that people with narcissism live in a false reality where everything is taken personally and the slightest hint at criticism and disapproval will tip them over into frenzy. The reaction isn’t false nor is it purely due to living in a false reality; it is a fact that people in general aren’t full-fledged saints. I have yet to meet a person that is so completely void of an ego that they don’t have any sore spots and won’t bite back if they feel that they’ve been attacked. I also haven’t met any person who has 100% altruistic motives. People nudge and coax each other all the time, which can be seen as quite innocent, but it still stems from a desire to get one’s own way. In a sense, one could claim that people only seem to care about another if there has been some kind of identification and projection of inner subconscious qualities on the other – and even that is not true caring because one really does it for the self, even if it doesn’t seem like it because it’s unconscious. A narcissistic individual with apparent difficulty to include other’s well-being as their own is perhaps more capable to do something purely altruistic because it would not give them any pleasure to be “selfless”. In other words, there is no secondary gain in genuinely acting in someone else’s best interest for these types – not even emotional satisfaction. Empathy that comes naturally is beautiful, but when it doesn’t and has to be acquired against all odds, there’s opportunity for great growth. This opportunity is character building and humbling – it really is the opportunity of building something of substance from the ground up.
Lack is not ultimately a bad thing if its treasures are valued instead of dismissed and ignored as meaningless. Being “without” is an opportunity if one can stretch one’s perception beyond the discomfort of the present. The psychic void of shame that is felt can only be filled from the inside. By cutting out the middle man (that is, “external supply”) the person becomes truly self-sufficient and non-complacent in dealing with life. Saturn is not a bad planet per se, even though it is traditionally labeled “malefic”. It simply requires more consciousness on the part of the individual and more deliberate effort. Narcissism can be a byproduct of the Saturnian dynamic, but its ugliness can be a blessing in disguise.
—————
Note: I’m not ”blaming astrology” for causing a mental disorder in this post, I’m simply exploring the Saturnian archetype and how it correlates with certain behaviors. I don’t believe any planet ”causes” specific behavior but I think that it can point to an underlying archetypal pattern at the core of certain behavioral dynamics. As stated, Saturn is representative of lack, defences and restriction in astrology - which are all necessary psychological functions. Like any function, they can be effective and healthy, but there’s always a downside to any function. I’m exploring the downside in this post.
#saturn#narcissism#saturn and narcissism#capricorn#lack#deprivation#inner void#astrology#saturn in astrology#planets in astrology#isolation#loneliness#hidden treasure#narcissistic injury#malefic planets
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Daddy Issues
Purely based off of the vibes the song gives off
———————————————————————————
Take you like a drug
I taste you on my tongue
Yunho was addicting, everything you wanted in a man. He protected you, comforted you, provided for you. He was there for you in ways you couldn’t be for yourself.
His soft lips were pressed against your chapped ones as tears stream down your face. You felt so lost without him, you were glad you had him. Gripping onto his shirt tightly you close your eyes, melting into the kiss. He felt safe but it also scared you. What if he needed you? Would you be able to provide that?
You ask me what I'm thinking about
I tell you that I'm thinking about
Whatever you're thinking about
You sit beside Yunho who looked lost and dazed. You had never seen him this way. He didn’t mean for you to see him like this either. He knew you needed comfort yourself and he didn’t want to burden you. He tried his hardest to hold it in and he failed. He failed you.
“Nothing, I’m not thinking about anything in particular.” He says, his facade slipping as your eyebrows furrow. He wanted to stay strong, for you.
Tell me something that I'll forget
And you might have to tell me again
It's crazy what you'll do for a friend
How crazy it is that you two weren’t even dating? How crazy is it that he only harbored feelings for you as a friend and was acting like he was in love with you? At least, that’s how you saw it. If he loved you truly, he would be with you. He would promise to never leave you.
In reality, Yunho isn’t with you because he’s broken himself. Whenever you’re in his presence he feels another part of his breaking. He doesn’t want to lose all of himself to save you. He wanted to save himself too.
Go ahead and cry,
Nobody does it like you do
Your cry was unlike anything he had ever seen. Never had he seen someone so broken. Not even himself. You shook violently as sobs escaped from your lips. Face buried in the palm of your hands. How sad you looked. How sad you were.
I know how much it matters to you
I know that you got daddy issues
And if you were my little girl
I'd do whatever I could do
Yunho smiles brightly at you as he took you to the amusement park. Going tonight meant a lot to you. This place acting as your sanctuary before Yunho was around. Your eyes glistened but for once it wasn’t with tears, it was with excitement. Yunho just adored it. How fucked up was your father to make you feel any way other than this? This sight was the prettiest thing he had ever seen. From that point on, he vowed that he would give his future child everything they could every want. He didn’t want them to turn out like you…like him.
I tried to write your name in the rain
But the rain never came
For some odd reason, the rain never made you said. It actually provided comfort for you. While Yunho was away, you had promised him that you would do something to remember him bye everyday until he comes back.
You had checked the weather forecast and when you saw it was raining, you become excited. You wanted to write Yunho’s name with the rain and then watch it wash away so you could do it again and again.
Always comes at the worst time
You were freaking out, your mother had called you about a topic you liked to stay far away from, your father. Yunho wouldn’t be home for a few more hours. You felt alone, confused, scared. Why had she brought up the topic? He hurt her just as much as he hurt you. Why would he does he want back in now and why is she letting him?
You ask me what I'm thinking about
I tell you that I'm thinking about
Whatever you're thinking about
Pain filled Yunho’s hurt as he heard your statement. The same one he gave you when he felt broken, at his worst. How cruel the world was to them both. He took you into his arms, kissing your temple he whispered sweet nothings into your ear.
Nobody does it like you do
I know how much it matters to you
You had to see him and Yunho knew that. You were looking for clarity and he might provide that. You couldn’t pass up on that opportunity.
Unfortunately, that opportunity passed you up instead. A few days after he had arrived, the day you were supposed to talk to him, visit him. He passed, tears filled your eyes at the news. You would never get your clarity now that he was gone.
I love that she's got daddy issues
Maybe Yunho was sick in the head. Maybe being in this environment changed him more than he had thought. He didn’t mind that you had daddy issues, that you moped around. It helped him feel normal, he had daddy issues too. You made him feel superior in a way, perhaps that’s why he liked you so much. Maybe that’s the real reason why he kept you around.
Where did my daddy go?
Go ahead and cry, little boy
Yunho’s tears soaked your shirt as he trembled in your arms. You were freaked out again. It was the only the second time you had seen him this way. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t even know what the problem was. But you did what he always did for you.
You both sat there for hours as he cried in your arms. The cycle would never truly end. Your father was dead, you would never get clarity. His father was alive, he would never escape from the clarity of his situation. How cruel life is to the both of you, how cruel you both were to each other.
I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too
#yunho x reader#yunho angst#yunho fluff#ateez angst#ateez fluff#fluff#angst#kpop#Kpop angst#Kpop fluff#yunho scenarios#yunho blurbs#yunho imagines#yunho reactions#yunho drabbles#jeong yunho#jeong yunho ateez#yeong yunho angst#yeong yunho fluff#ateez drabbles#ateez blurbs#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#jeong yunho x reader
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♪ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓. ♪
pairings: sim jaeyoon x fem!reader.
genre: pure angst, songfic.
word count: 1.1k.
warnings: themes of falling out of love, implied major character deaths and suicide (and its overall just a puzzle of a trippy story kinda?? nothing related to gore or violence though!!)
notes from vie: guys. don't let this flop besties. it's my new hymn for the missing hahaha i love it as much as that old kun fic. anyways, idk why this got buried in my drafts for so long, so here you go.
i love hearing your thoughts about my fics, be it in your reblogs or in the replies, so do leave feedback if you're up for it <3 otherwise, hope you enjoy!
listen to 'one more night' by demian for the full experience please!!
taglist: @junityy @igyus @intokook @leavethemonsteralive @iuwon @envirae @fairyjunn @rutosruru-world @daystiny @luvholicz @imdamconfused @renjunvrse @honeyseungz @dweio @rae-blogging @ikigyus @enhyseob @jitaros @jdyunvrs @yunntext @yourlocalhotgf @strwberrydinosaur @mark-lees-world @beomgyuv @chileangring4 @99swinwin @jakeycore @99outros @heejojo @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @strqyverse @tyongishs @jiminisyourangel @yutaalove @yangianwon @icywhatim @sunshine-skz @hwallswrld @twntycm @sooblvr @injanggarden @whoe-dis @thegracerammy @k2oi (click here to be added)
There is something eerily peaceful about a night without stars splattered in the far and wide distance to decorate the blanket of darkness, lit only by the moon drowning behind the wisps of ashy clouds. It doesn’t bother you much, though.
He’s with you, that man. He’s right here on the seat next to you, the steering wheel in his hands, heart in yours. He’s here, stripped of his labels and titles, laid bare and clean in front of you, wholly himself and not an image of what everyone else thinks he is when he wears his mask and shield of defiance and authority.
He’s here alone, together with you and so heartbreakingly broken in his essence. He sits on the leather seat, the back of his head resting against the cushion.
One more night, for all our lies.
“I love you.” It’s a beautiful sort of deception, one for the both of you who desperately cling onto any remains of what once had been. It’s there to fill the growing silence, to attempt to close the distance of where you stand, so far away from him and out of his reach.
“I love you too.” He stays numb even when he says those four words, defeat crawling up his skin, biting into it like the cold that creeped up on the edge of the cliff you are perched on top on, the crashing of the waves heard loud and clear. He says it so quietly, words engraved with a dreaded acceptance.
One more say, to close our days.
“I love you.” He blurts it out first this time, just barely holding onto the quiver in his voice, begging his vocal chords not to fail him this night. It’s not the easiest of tasks, though he manages to get those three flowery words out again like a broken recorder.
“I love you too.” You gulp the burning guilt down your throat, feeling parched and drowning at the same time. You feel as though you are drenched in all of the vile things in the world, acid dripping out of your lips like it’s nothing. You wonder if he is hurting more than you are. He probably is in an agony much deeper than yours, you come to realize with a heavy heart.
If I’d be ‘him and you’d be ‘her.
“You’re my moon.” It’s your turn to say something, if only to feel something again. His eyes are trained on the glow that filters through the dreary and hopeless night sky with an ironic smile on his lips. He supposes this isn’t the worst it could have been.
“You’re my sun.” He follows your lead, delivering a sting far more effective than a slap on your face could have ever been. You take your time to digest it, a breathless and humourless laugh escaping your throat without your own consent. It hurts more, because you are aware that your pain is nothing compared to his.
It won’t be hard, the last.
He is your moon, only there when you need his comfort and feel the drape of his peace in times when you are aching. He is just a moon, a fragment of the galaxy that would forever remain insignificant. You are his sun, a raging fire that burns him the closer he gets.
You paint him red and black with your heat and grey as he dissolves into ashes, flames engulfing his being when he dares take a step closer to you, to love you more. You are the sun and yet all he feels is the chilling burn on his skin anytime he wraps his arms around your frame.
One more day for all our times.
“I need you.” He whispers one more time, palm cupping the side of your face and angling his body to face yours. His heart quivers when he feels you nuzzling into his hold, still oh-so madly infatuated by your expressive eyes that look at him, mirroring the tear in his soul. You’re hurting just as much as he is. Why?
“I don’t.” And it crushes you to say those words at him, not that it ever could ever match his rueful gaze, heart far too battered to shed any more tears. He leans in, closer towards the sun and willing to let his wings melt off as if he is Icarus himself, closer to graze his chapped lips on your softer ones. He doesn’t know if he’s freezing or burning, oddly enough.
Why aren’t you pulling away?
I know we’re gone, but ‘gones’ are priceless.
“I miss you.” He reaches his hand to caress your hair gently. You look away, “I’m still here.”
He deflects, “No, you are not. I miss you.”
Ah, there it is, another crack on the glass. He misses you, the one that is gone with the wind. He misses the you that is no more, yet loves the you that remains just as much. He is puzzling and yet, as open to read as your favorite book. “I miss us.”
Be brightly sad, leave this mess.
He smiles and so do you, his light far too contagious not to mimic despite the roar of the engine you note hearing as you get lost in his eyes. He has pretty ones, you know, but the spark isn’t there to twinkle at you anymore. “Let’s be happy again.”
You stare at his hands on the wheel, thinking back on the life you had led so far. It’s not hard to accept, nothing ever has been. And so you nod, reassuring him as his foot presses on the pedal, shifting gears, “Okay.”
Warm my name, the last.
“Let’s try again.” You breathe in, looking at the moon that was finally uncovered for one final time, listening to the crashes of the waves beneath the cliff that seem to be getting closer and closer.
“Let’s be happy again, Jake.” He smiles, pure, lips stretching into a wide grin as the edge comes closer and closer the more he presses on the pedal, speeding. It’s there, the edge, he notices.
He looks into your eyes one last time and then you’re soaring far above the merciless waves for a few peaceful seconds that feel like an eternity. One more night, for the last time in this broken and shattered world.
for eternity in your next.
#enhypennetwork#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen angst#enhypen jake angst#enhypen jake imagines#enhypen writing#enhypen writings#enhypen#sim jaeyun#sim jake#enhypen jake x reader#enhypen jake
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