#I’m turning off reblogs bc y’all are getting in fights
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The hunger games: capitalism pits individuals against each other in order to prevent us from uniting against the systems in power that maintain our oppression
teen dystopian YA for the next decade: light hair good boy 😍??? Or dark hair bad boy 🫣😈😈
#I’m turning off reblogs bc y’all are getting in fights#the hunger games#katniss is actually such a well written character all things considered#She’s socially incompetent and rude and also the only female character I could relate to as a kid#Those books didn’t radicalize me at age 11 for everyone to lump them in with divergent smh
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Can u do play fighting w Dallas would include? :3 either nsfw or sfw is fine
heya birdie! when i saw this ask come in i was Y E L L I N G bc play fighting w. dally ngl scares the shit outta me and he’d play dirty asf, but also he’d kinda soft? here’s my mess - mae
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Play Fighting with Dallas Winston Headcanons:
° Alright, straight off the bat, if you think for one second that Dal’s gonna take it easy on you, you thought wrong asf!
° This guy freaking cheats like the word’s his damn middle name! Which it is, let’s be real lmaoo
° Probably German Suplex’s you onto your damn mattress for Christ sake! He broke the bed sajffjkds
° But do you play nice either? Hell no! There’s a war you’ve saddled up to, and you’re Dallas Winston’s s/o! Ofc you’re not letting him win without a good fight.
° This one time he made the fatal mistake of underestimating you the first time y’all both play fought. He was horrifically surprised when you managed to keep him in a headlock for a solid 20 seconds before he tickled your sides like a possessed man.
° “Is that how we’re playin’ things doll?”
° “You cheated!”
° “Course I did, I’m Dallas Winston!”
° istg you cringed sdhsahfsdf.
° “You make it sound like that’s something to be proud of.”
° “What’d you just say, you lil shit?!”
° Cue you running round the outside of your home and your neighbors thinking you’re a total freak, check!
° Play fights also turn into tickle fights, and you play dirty bc you know Dally has ticklish armpits.
° “I swear to God, you do that one more ti-”
° “Oooh! You swore to God- I thought you only swore to yourself.”
° You talk back a lot and Dally just has to accept it now lol
° If you play fight in front of others, like the gang for instance, Dally’s real mean about it, pinning you down in odd positions that make the boys tease you.
° So help anyone who’s an arms length away bc they’ll get kicked or punched.
° “Sorry Pony! Dally kept-”
° “We all know what Dally does to you in your free time.” Soda laughs wildly from the other end of the room.
° “What was that?!” You freeze, anger flashing across your countenance.
° “Sheesh, everyday you start soundin’ more and more like Dally, eh Two-bit?” Steve grins, elbowing his buddy playfully in the side.
° “Damn right! They’re lookin’ bout as ugly as him too!” Two-bit grins, dodging the empty beer can launched at his head by Dally.
° “What’d you say about me?!”
° Oftentimes play fighting is a playful activity for you and Dally since Dally can be quite relaxed. He doesn’t take things too personally. Even tho he’s a straight up Jackass.
° He let’s you win sometimes, especially if you reward him like kisses or get him a beer.
° “You tell anyone I did that, I’m skinnin’ ya!”
° “I’ll note it in my diary to tell Soda.”
° Play fighting occurred this one time he read your journal and it had some embarrassing shit in it about how you were in love with him. He got a right kick out of you shoving your face into his chest once he’d pinned your arms down by your side.
° “C’mon! It ain’t that bad!”
° “It’s worse than the time Soda puked on me in first grade!”
° Can’t go without saying that things turn sexual either bc this is Dallas Winston we’re talking about.
° Often times it ends with him pinning you down and starting a make out session.
° Or he’ll pin you down and be a little mean, staring down into your eyes with little words being said.
° “What?”
° “What do you mean, what?”
° “Dal, don’t be an ass!”
° “When am I not?”
° The times when he suddenly stops, lifts you up slightly and places you ontop of him. They’re v precious and I support these moments.
° Or the wild times when he throws you over his shoulder and slaps your ass like a champ!
° Play fighting with Dally is riddled with fun, playfulness and competition. He’s always looking to demonstrate how much stronger he is, but in a way that doesn’t hurt you or scare you because Dally just doesn’t get a kick outta scaring you like he does other people. You’re like Johnny, his soft spot.
° Play fighting is often relaxing and his way of teasing you. Touch is something kinda foreign to Dally, especially if it’s not in a sexual way. So, although play fighting can turn sexual, it allows for him to show affection towards you in a way that isn’t sexual.
° Dallas just sucks at speaking how he feels. So you can really tell her cares for you when he let’s you win a play fight in private or goes a little easier on you, particularly when he’s in a good mood.
° Just never bring that fact up though! Because if you do, he won’t go easy on you for awhile. Though it’s all done in good fun!
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
please like, reblog and follow for more!
requests: open!
#dallaswinston#mae.answers#ask#anon#anonymous#dallas winston#dallas winston headcanons#dallas winston imagines#dallas winston x reader#the outsiders#the outsiders imagines#the outsiders headcanons#the outsiders dallas#the outsiders dallas winston imagines#the outsiders dallas winston headcanons#the outsiders dallas winston x reader#the outsiders dallas imagines#the outsiders dallas headcanons#the outsiders dallas x reader
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500 follower celebration!!!
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i’ve reached 500 followers thanks to all your support. i feel like i’ve been here for so long sharing my creations for you all, but it’s really been very short so far. i’ve met so many amazing, kind, and talented friends on this platform and i can’t wait to meet more of you lovely humans. i’m giving each and every one of you a huge bear hug bc i love you all and i’m so thankful for you <3
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in honor of hitting 500, thanks to @multiyfandomgirl40 idea, i’m doing a short blurb request. send me a character or person and i’ll write a blurb with around 200-500 words. this time, i’m going to try and expand my creative abilities so you can send people i don’t usually write for as well. the main fandoms i’m a part of is marvel, harry potter, and little women as well as celebs, so send away. i’m open to many different options in hopes i can fulfill them. you can choose from the prompt list below or send in another idea you have, or even both. also this can be romantically/platonically/familial, sfw or nsfw, as well as angsty or fluffy, just clarify whichever you would like. i’m going to cap off requests after i feel like i get a decent amount i can handle, so most likely after a month, but i’ll reblog and let you all know when i’ll be ending the celebration. once again, thank you so much for making this happen and happy requesting :)
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also going to throw my get to know me post back out there since i reblog when i hit a follower milestones and i love when y’all ask me questions so go nuts bc there are plenty to choose from!
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↓ prompt list below ↓
“you smell good”
“your hands are cold”
“did i do something wrong?”
“would you just get over here and kiss me”
“what’s with the attitude?”
“you’re not hard to love”
“can you hold me?”
“i love it when you smile”
“please look at me”
“i can’t sleep”
“i feel safe with you”
“don’t leave me”
“you look like an idiot”
“do you trust me?”
“why is there blood on your shirt?”
“it would look better on the floor”
“don’t act surprised”
“open your eyes”
“what’s that on your face?”
“i’m pretty sure this is illegal”
“say the words and i’m yours”
“do you wanna fight?”
“you can’t tell anyone”
“you’re the worst”
“stay with me”
“i love you so much it hurts”
“you’re my favorite”
“you did what?!”
“i thought i almost lost you”
“you’re kinda turning me on”
“i would do anything for you”
“you’re so fun to mess with”
“make me”
“you look terrible”
“tell me where it hurts”
“please don’t cry”
“(insert name) thinks we’re dating”
“are you jealous?”
“let’s build a fort!”
“talk to me”
“you’re blushing”
“are you wearing my shirt?”
“you’re going to be the death of me”
“can i stay with you?”
“i just want you to be happy”
“this tastes like shit”
“you’re going to have to stay quiet”
“i missed you”
“don’t be a tease”
“you feel like home”
“is this okay?”
“i can’t stop thinking about you”
“can you dance with me?”
“you could never hurt me”
“are you lying to me?”
“you know you love me”
“stop laughing at me”
“do you want to get out of here?”
“i don’t hate you”
“i like you a lot”
“you make me happy”
“i’ve waited so long for this”
“you’re insane”
“stop distracting me”
“look what you do to me”
“watch your mouth”
“you can always talk to me”
“you’re the best”
“don’t make me regret it”
“let’s get you cleaned up”
“don’t you understand i care about you?”
“you promised me”
“stop yelling”
“i think i’m in love with you”
“were we ever meant to work out?”
“don’t even think about it”
“how bad do you want me?”
“i’m not in the mood”
“don’t be shy”
“i thought you’d never ask”
“why haven’t you kissed me yet?”
“you’re not going alone”
“i’ve got you”
“i’m nervous too”
“you never left my mind”
“please never forget about me”
“you give me butterflies”
“this is why i’m the smart one”
“have you always been like this?”
“tell me what you want”
“i have a surprise for you”
“we could get caught”
“let me help you”
“we make a pretty good team”
“i need a hug”
“this isn’t your fault”
“do you ever shut up?”
“thank you for being here”
“i never get tired of you”
anything else you could possibly think of!
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(a/n: to the anon that requested this, i’m so sorry this took me a million years to complete and post! i hope you find these and you enjoy them, thanks for requesting! - admin kat 🌙❣)
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Felix with a Human s/o that’s Afraid of Turning Headcanons:
° your fear of being changed into a vampire is definitely going to be an issue for felix. i mean, the man wants to literally spend forever with you and will not allow you to stay mortal. now that he’s found you, his mate, he genuinely would not be able to live without you.
° also, being a human in volterra is literally unheard of (apart from all the biancas a.k.a the secretaries) and there’re a lot of vampires prowling around the place so there’s a 110% chance that you could get bit or killed.
° which btw is a huge fear of felix’s. he wouldn’t forgive himself if you got killed by a vampire who fed on you or harmed you in any way. he’d literally rip them to pieces and burn them in two seconds flat. he’s not fucking around.
° it would be challenging for even him to not want to feed on you bc you smell tasty af lmaoo.
° but on a real note, your blood smells really good to him and he really doesn’t want to kill you.
° also, he’s a part of the guard, so he’s got a job to attend to, which he can’t do when he’s worried you’ll die every two seconds.
° when you first arrived in volterra he literally didn’t leave your side for 3 whole months, even when aro and the crew™ summoned him. he took you with him. alec and jane may have almost mistaken you for a snack and demetri struggled to hold him back from ripping the twins to shreds. fun times man! like y’all laugh about it now (minus felix who’s still mad af)
° whenever you get sick, he brings up changing you in 0.3 seconds.
° “you know if you’d let me change you, you’d never get sick.”
° “it’s just a cold, felix. get a grip.”
° “how can i get a grip when you’re so fragile? you know there’s no cure for the cold, right?”
° a lot of arguments ensue from the topic of changing you. felix takes this personally and begins to think that you believe he’s nothing but a monster. which he technically is and is a part of why you don’t want to turn.
° arguments often get heated between you two and felix has to walk away before they get too heated because without meaning to he could hurt you. as i said before, you’re fragile. like he doesn’t want to hurt you btw!
° even though he argues with you over your mortality, he adores a lot of things about it: like how your heart speeds up when he kisses you (lmaoo it stopped one time and he panicked bc he thought you died), he adores watching you sleep, how you need to eat three meals a day, etc.
° “i swear to god if you bring up me changing one more time i will shove my foot so far up your a-”
° boii is horny af though bc he can’t even get with you sexually bc he’d snap you in half.
° demetri teases tf out of him about it. you deffo join in
° like he eye fucks you now, which only makes you horny and now you’re suffering too.
° he’s frustrated also bc he can’t help to get you off either bc again he could literally kill you.
° felix doesn’t have much patience either, so if you don’t come to a decision he probably will make it for you or he’ll demand to know why you’re so afraid to change.
° also sexual tension™
° if you take too long deciding he’s going to just change you bc he’s savage af and kinda selfish. he’d rather you be mad at him for all eternity for changing you than have you die.
° but also he loves you and wants to respect your choices? so there’s a lot of turmoil over it, but i believe that his desire to spend forever with you would win.
° maybe you’re afraid of the pain, unclear of the whole process, etc.
° “what if i’m unlucky and i don’t make it through the process?”
° “that’s ridiculous! it works every time.”
° “okay... but what if i go on a murderous rampage-”
° “we have a process in place to teach newborns how to control their thirst.”
° “okay, okay! i totally understand that. but what if i end up being so out of control that i reveal the secret of vampires to humans? won’t i be killed then.”
° “that’s impossible, i won’t let that happen.”
° you’re kinda frustrated at this point bc for every inquiry of skepticism you have, he’s got an answer prepared.
° felix at some point begins to wonder if you feel the mate bond as deeply as he does. you feel an immense pull towards him, it’s unreal. you’re just afraid.
° “but wouldn’t you like me to fuck you?”
° “seriously?! in front of everyone?”
° “oh, we hear you guys argue about this fifty times a day. it’s nothing new, y/n.” demetri would guffaw.
° lmao felix literally brings that up so often in front of others you’re beginning to get immune to it.
° strong boii™ doesn’t want you to be turned by anyone else but him. so like he’ll practice to get the hang of it bc god forbid if he killed you-
° i mean, in the end you choose to allow him to turn you bc what would be better than spending forever with felix?
° “i swear to god, if you kill me i’m gonna come back from the grave and light you on fire...”
° “i won’t.”
° “you know i’ll be right here during the whole process, i won’t leave your side. and when you wake up, i’ll be the there too.”
° that honestly gives you so much comfort and even makes you smile.
° which gives him confidence too bc you trust him enough to do this when he could literally KILL YOU
° the process goes as great as it can go and like after you feel like you can fight god which felix has to remind you that you cANT’ JUST DEMAND TO FIGHT EVERY VAMPIRE YOU SEE WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT
° it’s good that you chose to get turned bc he was about to do it regardless lmaoo. (i know i’ve said this fifty times already but i’m not kidding boii really would’ve done it)
° y’all are the most chaotic couple, like aro and crew™ are entertained but also mildly very terrified.
° y’all fucked.. A LOT... just sayin
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
please like, reblog and follow for more!
requests: open!
#felix#felix imagines#felix headcanons#felix x reader#felix volturi#felix volturi imagines#felix volturi headcanons#felix volturi x reader#twilight#twilight imagines#twilight saga#twilight saga imagines#twilight felix#twilight felix imagines#hope you enjoyed#admin kat
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[rational catchy title hiding that the true meaning of this post is just an excuse for me to talk about my weird ass dreams]
i have had three dreams about one piece in the past three nights and i feel like i’m going a little insane considering i usually never dream so i’m shoving them all into this post. and if i dream more i’m gonna reblog this with the new dreams.
1: ZoSan | 2: apocalyptic one piece meets sonic meets inuyasha | 3: one piece meets age of calamity
dream one: literally just ZoSan. that’s it. stupidly soft. it was mid afternoon, the crew was all lazing about out on deck, i decided i wanted a snack so i made for the kitchen, but heard both their voices in the kitchen so i paused at the door. they were in the kitchen alone, sanji was cutting veggies for dinner, zoro was leaning back against the counter, his elbows up on it all relaxed like. they were bickering & teasing each other, quietly laughing. (for those who don’t know one piece, zoro & sanji are always fighting.) then a quiet came over them and zoro inched a little closer just so that their shoulders were touching and sanji smiled and zoro looked so relaxed he could fall asleep right then and there. it’s very important to know that (1) just watching them chit chat and tease each other I Knew. (2) i also knew that this thing between them was obviously private and if they caught me they would both kick my ass, and knowing this i woke up.
dream two, arguably the weirdest: this one is going to take a bit of explaining. a lot of my dreams are storyline esq, except when i’m in the dream i already know the backstory, y’all don’t so i have to lay this out. it’s apocalyptic, like the world has ended, and inuyasha-esq monsters are free roaming over the dirt and ruins of civilization. eggman is the evil mastermind who brought this havoc to the world. all humans are dead, but if all their bones are still in tact, they’ll come back to life as a skeleton (think sans and papyrus). most bones are not in tact because the monsters eat them. brook, a strawhat pirate who is already a living skeleton, is alive and well, and all my bones landed together when i died and no monsters ate them, so i am also a living skeleton. brook and i are the only strawhats who survived, but we’re determined to collect the bones of our friends to bring them back (so we can defeat eggman?). brook and i have recruited the help of sonic and co. (knuckles, tails, shadow, maybe others) to brave the perilous ruins (think elephant graveyard from lion king) to rescue our crewmates’ bones from the monsters. sonic & co. were unaffected by the apocalypse bc they’re not human. i have also somehow developed the ability to run very fast, like sonic fast. note about the bones: they all glow a certain color based on who they belong to. i think only brook and i could see this, or we could only see the strawhats’ bones, or something. anyway. all this was backstory.
the dream begins as we launch our rescue mission at the ruins. eggman is in hot pursuit. monsters are crawling eveywhere. brook slides down a huge bone, like a gigantic elephant husk, and veers away to the side, out of sight. i take off in a sprint, sonic is nearby, and i’m ducking under massive, house-sized bones and ruins and twisting away from monsters. i spot two glowing blue boots and grab them. (i don’t know how to explain this, other than that the boots were nami’s bones, and i had to have the full pair to bring nami back.) i then see one glowing red boot (luffy’s), and two glowing green boots (zoro’s). i am running at 50 mph and i am balancing five boots in my arms. sonic joins me at my side, and i grin, and we’re about to retreat, and then zoro’s boot comes loose from its precarious balance and flies behind me, back into the monster pit, but we can’t stop or we’re going to get caught.
i turn, and i see brook, standing victoriously on another ridiculously sized elephant husk, and he’s holding up zoro’s second greet boot. in his other arm is a second red boot. i grin, everybody reunites, and eggman curses us to hell and back as we retreat to the safety of our hideout (a suped up cave, i think). we’re going to revive nami, luffy, and zoro, and with half of our crew back with us, we’ll go back out and get the rest of our crew, and we’ll help sonic defeat eggman. we’ll win. knowing this, i woke up.
dream three: the strawhats and i are in a major battle. basically like a full scale war, drawn out over a humongous map. we are badly, badly outnumbered, but we’re strong. we’re all scattered across all corners of the map with our own enemies. i can barely see sanji’s silhouette over the horizon, and besides that, i’m alone. the earth is rattling with bombs and cannons falling like rain. somehow none of these projectiles hit any of us, and most of them fall too far away to worry about, but whenever they fall a little too close it’s so jarring that it feels like my skull has turned into a washing machine. by now i’ve finished off my section of the enemies, and i’m looking out at the horizon, the mountains, wondering where to even start. who do i help first? i don’t even know where anyone is. can we even win this? we’re strong, but there are so many enemies. then, zoro comes up beside me, presumably also finished with his enemies and has since found me. he doesn’t look even the slightest bit worried. instead, he’s got a little grin, and his swords are sheathed but his eyes are itching to get back in the fight. both of us look to where we can see sanji, doing just fine on his own despite being outnumbered 100 to 1. in the distance we can hear luffy’s yell, can see the thunderclouds form over a valley from nami’s clima-tact. “well,” zoro tells me, “we might as well go help those idiots.” and he starts to walk on ahead, leisurely as ever. i smile and start walking to catch up. i know that, despite the odds, we’re going to win, because losing simply in the cards for us. we’re the strawhat pirates; we don’t lose. knowing this, i woke up.
#long post#i'm sorry it's so long#my dreams are weird#and vivid#dreams#my dreams#dream post#dream journal#?#one piece#roanora zoro#strawhat#one piece strawhats#straw hat pirates#brook one piece#sonic#sonic and friends#zosan#zoro x sanji#i dont know what to tag this#apocalypse dream#weird dreams#really really weird dreams
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Shiver - One
Pairing: Werewolf!Calum Hood x Reader
Summary: The seasons always have changed too fast
Warnings: Swearing(?)
Requested: Nah
Disclaimer: The idea of how the werewolves change form comes from the fantastic Wolves of Mercy Falls series by Maggie Steifvater, as does the title of the series, though the plot of this mini series is mine. But you should all totally go and check out this series bc it’s fucking awesome
A/N: so this is the first official part of my werewolf!Cal series! I hope y’all are all as excited about it as I am! Sorry there was a bit of a delay in posting it on account of all the Valentines Day blurbs I was posting instead but I’m really proud of this and I can’t wait to see what y’all think so please remember to lmk - comment, reblog, send an ask, whatever! But please just let me know :) as always if you want to be tagged then please send an ASK - comments on this post or the series masterlist will be ignored and also remember what if you are already on the tag list and you don’t respond to this post (with a comment etc) I will be removing you out of the assumption you no longer want to be tagged :)
Prologue // One // Two // Three
Y/N pulled the blanket up to the man’s chin. She had taken off her coat the second she found him passed out in the snow, his lips turning blue and his fingers icy white from the lack of blood in them, and had draped it over him in a somewhat feeble attempt to help him regain some warmth.
The whole time she had dragged him back to her house - a long, painful process seeing as though the man was much larger and heavier than her, complete deadweight in her arms - her head was spinning with the possible explanations for the situation she found herself in.
There was no doubt in her mind that the whimper she had heard had been of the animal variety, and there was no chance at all that the hunt would have shot the man knowingly.
They were arseholes, yes, but none of them wanted a murder charge.
Once she had succeeded in dragging the man back to her house she had only managed so far as bringing him to the living room where she left him on the carpet in front of the fire, still with her coat draped over him in an attempt to preserve his modesty. She had then gone to grab a first aid kit, hoping to do the best she could with her feeble medical knowledge in an attempt to save his life.
Y/N had cleaned the wound and wrapped it as best she could but she knew that what she had done would not suffice but there was little more that she could manage with the man passed out. There was no way that she would be able to get him to a hospital without him being conscious.
So she had settled with her sloppy attempt at bandaging him and had placed a pillow under his head and piled blankets on top of him, desperately trying to get some heat back into his body.
Now, she looked at the man, allowing her eyes to drag over the features of his face. His messy brown hair, his darkish skin, his plump lips.
If Y/N wasn’t as terrified of what the man could be as she was she would have found him attractive.
If he was what Y/N thought he was then she was in trouble.
///
There was a crash from the living room and Y/N jumped up from her place sat at the kitchen table.
The man was crouched in the corner of the room in a defensive position, his eyes wide and scared, staring at his hands. His head snapped up when Y/N rushed in and he immediately assumed a more offensive stance, his teeth bared.
Y/N held up her hands, hearing her own heart thumping loudly and wildly in her chest.
“Who are you? What have you done to me?”
The man’s voice was low and husky. Danger seeped out of every word.
Y/N swallowed thickly. She wondered if she had made the right choice in trying to save his life.
“I’m… I’m Y/N,” she said, her eyes searching his distrustful brown ones. There was an animalistic gleam in them which scared and intrigued Y/N even more. “I… I tried to help you,” the words were a plea for him to listen to her, to realise that she hadn’t done… whatever it was that he seemed to be accusing her of.
The man launched himself at her, his hands pinning down on her shoulders, forcing her to the ground. He snarled at her and Y/N’s eyes began to water, fearful beyond belief.
“I found you outside! In the snow! You were shot!”
The final statement seemed to make something click in the man’s brain and he slowly moved away from her, his eyes dropping down to his bare stomach with its sloppy bandage.
“Did you do this?” He asked after a moment. Y/N swallowed again and nodded.
“I-I was going to take you to a hospital,” she rushed out and the man’s head snapped back up to her, his lips curled once more in a snarl, his eyes aflame with anger but Y/N could see the fear that floated in them as well.
“No hospital.”
“Okay… no hospital,” Y/N agreed gently, sitting up as slowly as she could. “Should I… should I get you some clothes?” She offered. It was only then that the man seemed to realise he was completely naked and he turned away from her, nodding, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Follow me.”
She led the man through her family home and to the bathroom, opening the door and allowing him to enter it.
“You can shower and… clean up and I’ll leave some clothes outside for you?” She suggested and the man nodded, distrust still lingered in his eyes but Y/N did her best to ignore it. She went to close the door but his hand shot out to stop her, shaking his head.
“Open.” He insisted.
It was definitely fear in his eyes as he spoke.
Y/N nodded, closing it a little further, the man moving with the door to make sure that he could still see her.
“How about there?” She asked, the door most of the way closed but she knew that he would still be able to see out into the hallway. The man hesitated for a moment before nodding. Y/N formed the best smile she could manage considering the circumstances and she was surprised at the man’s attempt to mimic it.
///
“Y/N,” she turned at the sound of her name, smiling nervously at the man.
“Hi.”
“I’m sorry,” he breathed and Y/N’s eyes widened. “Thank you for helping me,” his words sounded almost pained and there was a grimace on his face. Y/N’s eyes trailed down, locking on how one of his hands was resting on his side in the place he had been shot.
“You need to sit down,” she worried, approaching him. She wasn’t thinking when she took him by the arm and led him into the living room, seating him down in front of the fire. The man didn’t fight her, though, just allowed her to maneuver him. Y/N placed a blanket on top of him, watching how he curled up under it.
“Thank you,” he repeated, his eyes closing, his hands pulling the blanket tighter around him.
“Are you warm enough?” She asked nervously, remembering how freezing his skin had been when she first found him. The man nodded wordlessly. “Do you want some tea?” He gave another silent nod.
When Y/N returned with two steaming mugs of tea, the man peaked his eyes open and held out his hands, clasping his mug to his chest.
Instead of joining him in her usual space on the sofa, she instead sat on the armchair usually reserved for her father.
“Calum,” the man finally spoke up after a few minutes of silent observation on his part and silently pretending that she couldn’t feel the man’s eyes searching her on Y/N’s.
“Pardon?”
“My name’s Calum.”
“Y/N,” she said again, for lack of knowing what else she could offer him.
Calum’s lips curled up in a slight semblance of a smile, which made Y/N’s own lips quirk up in response. He had a nice smile.
“Calum…” it was Y/N who broke the awkward silence this time, having seen his eyes slip closed and the grimace of pain that his smile had morphed into. “I really think you need to go to the hospital.”
“I said no hospital,” Calum gritted out, his eyes still closed.
“They could help you.” Calum’s eyes shot open and he glared at the woman.
“They think I’ve been dead for four years.”
Silence fell between them again as Calum’s statement sunk in.
“I haven’t done enough, Calum… I don’t have any medical training.” Calum allowed his eyes to fall closed.
“It will do for now… it will work as we wait,” he assured her and Y/N was taken aback by his calm tone of voice.
“As… as we wait for what?” Y/N questioned, it was a reluctant question, though, as though she was scared of what Calum’s answer may be.
Calum let out a content, relaxed sigh.
“They’ll come… they have to come…”
It sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more than anything and Y/N swallowed, no idea what she should respond to him with.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Talk to me?”
“What?”
“Distract me as we wait?” He asked, peaking his eyes open again.
“What are we waiting for?” Y/N tried again and Calum’s expression was soft as he smiled at her.
“My family.”
“Do you want me to call someone?” Y/N offered but Calum shook his head, a wry laugh leaving his lips.
“They’ll find me.” He promised.
“Can I ask what you are?” Y/N ventured and Calum’s smile broadened a little.
“Well… I guess I owe you some sort of explanation to thank you for saving my life.” He mused, amusement twinkling in his eyes.
“I couldn’t have let you die.”
“Oh really?” Calum questioned.
“I mean I thought about it and then realised I had morals,” Y/N deadpanned. She was surprised by the laugh it brought from the wounded man on her sofa.
“I’m a werewolf.”
Y/N was clearly less shocked by the revelation than Calum had expected her to be.
“I thought werewolves changed on the full moon?”
“Some do,” Calum grunted out as he shifted in his spot on the sofa, his face contorting with pain. “But they’re from… other parts of the world,” he explained. “Around here we shift with the weather.”
“Seasonal werewolves?” Y/N asked and Calum shrugged.
“That’s one way of putting it I guess.” His voice was filled with laughter.
“So you change…”
“I turn into a wolf when it’s cold.” Calum deadpanned and Y/N nodded hesitantly, feeling a little light headed.
“Yeah… I thought that was what you were trying to tell me.”
Silence fell between them again as Calum’s announcement sunk in for Y/N.
“How come you’re human now, then?”
“When we die, we die in our human form… my body must have given up on me. It couldn’t sustain my wolf form and so shifted me back,” Calum theorised, though it was clear that he was equally unsure about the reasoning.
“That sucks.”
“Hm?”
“That even your own body has literally no faith in you,” Y/N supplied. Calum looked at her for a moment, taking in her sarcastic tone of voice before bursting out laughing.
“Yeah, I guess that is what happened.”
“Are you… are you warm enough now?” Y/N asked, clearly worried at the idea of Calum shifting back into a wolf in her living room. He let out another chuckle and nodded.
“Don’t worry - I’ll let you know if I start feeling particularly wolf-like,” he promised drily, shifting a little closer to the fire, his eyes dropping closed again.
“Should I put the TV on?” She offered quietly and Calum gave a stiff nod of his head.
They watched episodes of ‘Friends’ in silence, the jokes occasionally drawing a laugh from one or the other of them. About an hour in, however, Calum sat up.
“They’re here.” He looked over at her. “Help me up?” Y/N nodded, rising wordlessly from her seat, able, now to hear barking and growling outside her house and her heart thudded in her chest in fear and anticipation.
Calum’s arm rested around her shoulder, leaning heavily on the woman who had saved him. His other hand clutched at the blanket he had been under, keeping it secured around him. They half-walked-half-stumbled towards the glass door to her garden.
Y/N couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw five wolves congregated on the grass outside. In a split second, they turned all together, their eyes fixed first on her and her breath caught in her throat in complete fear when one of their lips curled up in a snarl. But then they slid across to Calum. The one stood at the front of the pack barked and leaned back on his back legs.
“This is about to blow your mind,” Calum’s words were a whisper, a proud smile curling at his lips as his eyes remained set on the wolves, the others having copied the stance of the wolf at the front.
Her heart was in her throat, her eyes wide and disbelieving as the wolves began to shift. Bones breaking and shifting from wolves to form a human structure, fur disappearing to be replaced with skin, paws replaced with hands and feet, firmly planted in the snow.
The wolf - the human at the front of the pack, the one who Y/N placed easily as being the leader - lifted his head, jet black hair tousled and falling in his eyes. Hazel eyes which had so terrified her when he was a wolf looked at both her and Calum before a grin formed on his face, dimples slicing his cheeks as he stood, uncaring of his lack of decency.
Calum pulled away from Y/N as the man walked towards them, the rest of the pack not far behind - a tall blond man who would have been somewhat intimidating to Y/N even if she hadn’t seen him just change from being a wolf, followed by a beautiful woman with long dark hair and soft features. The other man who stood walked just behind the leader had almost white-blond hair and pale skin, his eyes shifted untrustingly at Y/N and she placed him as the wolf who had snarled at her but before he could do that again, the woman who stood behind him with purple hair placed her hand on his arm, calming him down.
Calum almost fell from the lack of support he had from Y/N after he had pulled away from her but the pack leader let out a quiet laugh, dimples deepening as he stepped forwards quickly to catch him. Calum joined in on his laughter, though his seemed much more pained to Y/N’s sensitive ears.
“Thank fuck you’re okay.”
#courts writings#Shiver#Shiver Series#5 seconds of summer#5 seconds of summer fanfiction#5 seconds of summer imagine#calum hood#calum hood fanfiction#calum hood imagine#calum hood x reader#calum hood fanfic#calum hood imagines#calum hood x you#calum hood series#werewolf!Calum Hood#werewolf!5sos
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The Girl in The Blue Dress
Chapter 12: The Queen Has Fallen
Part 2!
Heheh @megatraven >:)). From the title,,,we know what happens:(. It includes death like always (not too graphic bc Im not like that) but there is some blood mentioned but not rlly in detail. Just warning just in case any of y’all (or you) don’t like blood. And dang while writing this even I was like “wow,,,Apollo really loves her and I’m so sorry Apollo,,,”. And idk if you read the first chapter bc I didn’t see a reblog and if you want fluff,,,I recommend that chapter at least bgfrkef. This one is just angst so hehe >:)). I read through it all but I still sometimes miss things so I hope its good :’’)
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Rose lets out a shout as she runs towards the king. He meets her with his sword as she meets his. The sound of metal reverberated throughout the room, even louder in their ears. Rose winced at the sound, but pushed it away as she pushed down on the kings sword. He looked surprised and faltered for a second, but caught himself and pushed her away with all his force. She was pushed a few feet away from him, but caught herself before she could fall. The king laughed at her. The laugh sounded just like the one that she heard those years ago, the one that echoed in the chamber, and now she wasn’t afraid of the laugh. She let out another growl as she ran towards the king, her sword raised again. He met her sword again, and they kept doing this over and over again. The kings arms began to grow tired as her swings kept coming.
“What’s wrong, King? Can’t handle it?” She shouted as her swings came faster and harder, all of them fueled with rage. The king scoffed at her but didn’t reply.
After two more swings, the third swing of Rose’s sword managed to strike him on his side. The king let out a loud scream even scaring Rose for a second. He fell to the floor and Rose grabbed his sword and threw it to the other side of the room. Rose was panting and it felt like her lungs were going to explode, but she spoke.
“I’m sorry it had to come to this,” she said, sadness in her voice. Rose leaned against the wall near the door and looked at the king. “What are you doing?” The king was confused and angry and he noticed sadness on her face. “I didn’t want it to end like this, ya know? I wanted peace and to fight for it peacefully, but you couldn’t have that could you?”
He scoffed at her. “Why would I? It’s always nice to go down with a fight, and you seemed to enjoy bringing me down.”
“I enjoyed putting your reign to an end,” she said with venom. He tried to trick her into thinking she wanted to kill him, but she never did. She wanted peace. That’s all she wanted. He shrugged his shoulders awkwardly. He was sitting down with his back against the wall near the balcony. He was clutching his side and seemed to be in a ton of pain, but didn’t show it. His time was coming to a close, and she had to watch as he died. She wanted to get help, tried to say it wasn’t too late, but the nurses were far away and wouldn’t have time to come here, so it was too late.
She got up slowly and grabbed her two coins from her tiny pocket in the armor. It was gold coins and only two for him. She walked to him and laid him on his back and placed the gold coins on his eyes.
“May your ride to the Underworld be peaceful.”
She then carried herself down the multiple stairs, wincing at the pain in her feet and back. When she got in front of the castle, she went to the gardens and saw some soldiers on the ground, dead, or wounded, and some of them were standing up. She looked around and was proud of what just took place. But she couldn’t stand there for long before she heard a voice behind her.
“Sweetie...we did it!” Rose turned around to see her mother behind her with a bright smile on her face. She had a few cuts and bruises, but she was alive and Rose hugged her as tight as she could. “We did it, Mom,” she said as she cried. They both let out their happy tears as they hugged. Melody pulled away first and laid her hand on her daughters cheek. “I’m so proud of you, Rose.”
She kissed Rose on her forehead and gave her a little pat on her cheek. “Now, theres someone else who needs to see you. I think he’s still in the castle. We got separated. Can you find him while I take care of the injured?” Rose nodded at her mother and her mother gave her one last kiss on her forehead as she left to go find Apollo. She looked around the castle for awhile until she ran into Apollo. Rose screamed and Apollo screamed. However, when they noticed it was each other, they sighed and gave each other a tight hug.
“You’re real, right?” Rose whispered the question as she buried her head in the crook of his neck. Apollo rested his cheek on her head and ran his hand down her back as the other was tangled in her hair. “Yes, Rose. I’m real. We’re both here.” They stayed in that hug for a few minutes before they pulled away. They looked at each other before Rose leaned in and kissed him. Apollo felt blessed. He had a chance to kiss her again. He forgot about the dagger in his holster and just held her while he could. However, they pulled apart when they heard a whimper come from a corner. They were in the huge dining room and they saw a little girl standing in the middle. Her clothes looked torn, there were bruises on her face, and she was looking around with fear.
Rose and Apollo ran to the little girl and Rose crouched to her level. “Are you okay? When did you get in here?” The girl looked at Rose and Apollo felt a feeling. A little feeling as if he’s seen this girl before. “I-I don’t know!” Rose looked at her confused. “You don’t know?” The girl nodded and wiped at her eyes. “My names Lumie and I’m scared!” Rose shushed the girl as she began to cry and she got back up and held her hand out for her. “Come with me. We’re going to get help, this is all over.” Lumie stared at her hand before she looked back up at Rose and motioned for her to come closer. Rose did and the girls frown turned into a smile. “The war may be over, but its not over for you.” The girls hand was pushed onto Rose’s chest and it looked like something was pushed into her chest.
Rose let out a gasp and coughed as she took a few steps back. Apollo tried to go near her, but Rose held her hand out meaning for him to stop. Lumie laughed and Apollo looked at her. The girl now had pink pigtails, a purple dress on, and lace gloves on. This was the creature he’d been seeing. The creature that cursed Rose in the first place. “Aw, I got you again didn’t I?” Apollo was still in shock, so he didn’t move, he just turned his look back towards Rose. She had her head held down, hands around her throat, even if she wasn’t coughing anymore, and she was silent. “Rose?”
Rose looked up at Lumie, and Apollo noticed that her eyes were now white. Her pupils and beautiful, blue eyes were gone and her smile was now a frown. Her face that almost always shown happiness towards everyone...now was wearing a face of anger. And as she looked at her, Lumie laughed and pointed at Apollo. Rose’s gaze turned to his.
“Get him, Rose!”
And as Apollo heard Lumie say that, the promise he made to Rose came to the front of his mind.
“Please, Kill me if something goes wrong.”
Rose let out a grunt as she pulled out her sword and ran towards Apollo. He rolled away from her and got his sword out. He met Roses sword just as it was about to hit him. She was now stronger than normal and only grunts came out of her. “Rose! Calm down,” he said as she pushed her sword down harder. He pushed back and she skidded a few feet away. “Rose, calm down. We don’t have to fight.” Apollo held his hand out and put the other with the sword down. Rose just shook her head and ran back towards him. He met her sword again, and he realized what he had to do. He had to kill her. Every time she striked, Apollo would put his hand on her armor and unlock it slowly. It took 10 hits, his arms getting weaker every moment even with his God strength, and her chest plate was off, revealing her torso and the cloth she wore covering her upper chest. He then managed to make her lose her balance and fall to the ground. He knocked her sword out of her hand and he gets on top of her and holds her hands together above her. She was struggling against him, grunts and curses coming from her mouth. Apollo hated to see her like this and he promised her.
Apollo sees his chance and he pulls out the blue dagger from its holster, it still shining its beautiful blue, the blue that matches Rose. He looked into Roses eyes.
“I’m so sorry.”
He then took the dagger and plunged it right in her stomach. Rose’s curses and anger filled voice went quiet. Her eyes went wide and her mouth was parted letting little whimpers seep through. As Apollo stared her in the eye, he slowly saw her blue eyes fade back in. When they were finally fully there, he knew Rose was back...and he started shaking. What he had done caught up to him. However, before he could say anything or do anything, Rose looked him in the eye and she smiled. She smiled at him as she was in pain. Apollo was holding her hands together with his godly strength to stop her from attacking him earlier, but he let her hands go and they went to his cheeks. She stroked one cheek with her thumb.
“Thank you.”
The tears Apollo held back slowly dropped down his cheeks as he heard her thank him.
“How can you thank me?!”
Rose would hold back the whimpers of pain as she laughed, even though it hurt so bad.
“You kept your promise to me. How can I not thank you for that? Now,” She let out a gasp of pain as she tried to move, “hold me?” She asked as if he would say no. He got off of her slowly trying not to hurt her. He got on his knees and pulled her so he was holding her in his arms. She let out little whimpers of pain whenever she moved, but she tried to hold them back as best as she could. She couldn’t show weakness...even in death.
“Rose, I-I’m so sorry. I couldn’t see a way out and I’m so sorry.” Apologies poured out of Apollo. Rose just smiled again and shushed him.
“It’s okay, Apollo. I think I always knew it would end like this. End with me losing it somehow...and then dying. But I never imagined a handsome man beside me,” she said with a little chuckle. She then laid her hands against the dagger that was still in her stomach. “And it sucks how my dagger will now be ruined...”.
Apollo let out a pained laugh. “I-I guess, yeah. And I’m sorry it has to be my fault.”
“Apollo,” Rose said with that tone of anger. That tone she used when Apollo was blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault...but this time it was his fault. However, Rose looked up to to the ceiling instead of saying anything after his name. Her eyes seemed a little unfocused, which made a Apollo worried. She was close. He didn’t need to be Hades to know that she was almost gone.
“I wonder what will happen after this,” Rose said after she let out a little whimper. She took in a shaky breath and continued. “Who will be the queen? What will happen to the people? Where will I go?”
“Where will you go?”
Rose looked at Apollo and was curious. “I’m dying. I’m gonna go somewhere...where do you believe we go?” Her question was genuine and Apollo knew Rose was scared. She believed in the gods but she doesn’t know the answers to everything. Heck, he doesn’t even know why she worships the gods. They don’t deserve it, but she kept hoping. Praying. And this is where it lead her.
Lead her to death...again, and again, and again, and again.
Apollo looked up at the ceiling as he thought. “Well, the underworld.”
“What will happen?” Apollo would look back down at Rose and shrug his shoulders. “I’m not sure, my dear. I’m not Hades himself,” he said, but he now knows a question he will be asking Hades when he goes back to Olympus. Rose lets out a breath through her nose along with another whimper.
“You know what I wish I could say to the Gods?” Rose looked him in the eye and he saw tears. Her blue eyes were glossy and he was glad to see it like that. He thought it was better than seeing her blue eyes erased, making only her eye visible and white, and full of anger. He shook his head and Rose looked back up at the ceiling.
“I’d ask them why.”
“Why?”
“Why did they abandon us? Why do they not hear us?” Rose’s voice cracked as her tears fell down her cheeks and her voice began to lower in volume. “I don’t know, Rose. I wish they were here now,” he said, as his own tears fell down his face. Rose noticed his tears and made a motion with her hand for him to lean down. He listened and Rose put one hand on Apollo’s cheek. She looked him in the eye and he saw love there, and she kissed his tears away. She was kissing his cheeks, under his eyes, his nose, and then his lips. She kissed every part of him, and when she pulled away, she said one more thing.
“I love you. Don’t forget that. And please,” she paused as she let out a whimper as she moved his hand down to her dagger, “don’t lose this. I know it’s a bad memory, but I don’t want anyone else to have it, okay? Promise me. Promise,” she said with urgency as she tightened her grip on his hand. She then felt her heart rate go up as if it was getting its last pumps in. Her vision began to blacken at the edges, blurrier as well. Her hearing sounded like she was under water, but she could still hear Apollo as he rested his forehead against hers, his last tears falling onto her cheeks, and whispered, “I promise, Rose. I’ll love you forever.”
She smiled at him one last time and didn’t even know how serious he was. He would love her forever, but she didn’t need to know what he was right now. He just wanted her to have peace. As she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand for the last time, she stopped breathing and her pain stopped. When he saw her chest not rise anymore, he looked up and wanted to scream, but it couldn’t come out. As he was holding her tight to him, he heard rushed footsteps coming from behind him that stopped before they reached him.
“Apollo? She finally found you!” It was Melody. Her voice sounded so worried and happy that she found him, but once she saw him curled over a body, her heart dropped. She ran to him and fell to her knees beside him. She began to shake as she saw her daughter, her dear daughter, pale and covered in blood...and dead. She noticed the dagger in her stomach and saw how Apollo and Roses hands were entwined together. Apollo couldn’t look Melody in the eye. He wouldn’t dare. He just looked down at Roses face, as if he could bring her back. But he couldn’t no matter how hard he wished he could. Melody let out a shaky breath, and sobs quickly came from her and Apollo still couldn’t look at her. He didn’t know how he could. He killed her daughter. However, he felt another hand grip his own. He finally looked over to Melody and noticed her nodding her head at him.
“I know, Apollo. I know,” she said, her voice soft and hoarse. He saw cuts and bruises on her face and knows that everyone has suffered in this. As Melody pulled Apollo close to her and rested her forehead on his shoulder, he began to cry quietly again.
After a few more minutes, Apollo slowly took the dagger out of Rose, as if she would wake up and scream how it hurts. Once he took it out, he put it in its holster and picked Rose up. He could still hear her cries when she tried to move, but he held her bridal style as he and Melody walked back to the group. Once they were there, people looked over to Apollo and saw Rose in his arms. Apollo sucked in a breath and let it out.
“The queen has fallen.”
It was silent in the garden, but many had looked like they wanted to speak. Then, sobs were heard as Apollo laid Rose on one of the bed rolls they had laid out for the wounded. People gathered around and stood in silence, sat in silence, or sobbed. They never called her the queen since she wanted to be one of the people she led, but she was their queen...and now she has fallen.
HEHE MEG!! ITS SO SAD AND I WAS LIKE “wow,,,I really wrote that,” LIKE BFIFIHO. I hurt myself but hey thats the point of this series. But it gets better and honestly a little cooler (in my opinion) in her final lifetime >:))). But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this and sorry for it being so long again :’). I love writing love stuff so much, so hope it’s not too long for your taste.
And sorry this took SO long to come out. I’ve literally had it sit in my drafts for so long jkefd. ANYWAYS YEAH LOVE YOUUU.
#my writing#The Girl in The Blue Dress#hMmMm. I'm actually sad bc hMMM APOLLO IM SO SORRY#But her final lifetime I've been able to think of and honestly..it's kinda cool. And it goes completely away from Greek#Mythology...like this whole series has lol. But it makes NO sense if you pay attention to the Greek mythology#so we're gonna act like it doesn't exist rn. But yeah loveee youuu. Goodnight <:3.#WELL ACTUALLY IT KINDA GOES ALONG WITH IT??? IN A WAY??? HMMM...my thoughts ramble
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A Sweet Suli Spice (Kanej GVBB)
A/N: AH I can’t believe the time has finally come for me to share this with you all! I had so much fun working on this in the midst of the worst and most stressful semester of my life!
Shout out to my gang, Spice of Life, for making this so much fun bc they are all so talented and easy to work with! The Corporalki both understood my writing which made the revising/editing process really smooth. They made sure the fic you’re about to read is actually understandable. They read this more than once and in the midst of their own crazy lives which I will never not be thankfull for. The Materialki are ridiculously talented. You HAVE to click their links to check out their work. I know they all worked really hard on them and it totally paid off.
Also big thank you to @grishaversebigbang for hosting this and being a terrifying yet wonderful Master of Tides.
Please feel free to comment, reblog, or message me your reactions to this! It’s the first super long pic that I’ve ever written and I’m really proud of it. Okay enough rambling…ik y’all just want the fic!
Corporalki: @ninxszenik , @ethereal-magia
Materialki: @theartistwitch @wavesofinkdrops @xan-drei
Masterlist: Don’t have an Ao3 but I do have a master list of all my fics.
Summary: Inej Ghafa hasn’t seen her family in four years. Not since she’s been taken. Now that it’s been so long since she’s seen them, Inej is scared and nervous to go back. One night, while sitting on the rooftop, Kaz asks her to teach him Suli. That inspires Inej to fight her nerves and finally find her family. She asks Kaz to go home with her and he takes this opportunity to learn more about her and her people. Once home, Inej is faced with a guilt of her past, the fear of family’s reactions, and the hope of finally being ghar (home).
The heart of Suli culture flowed with spice-flavored blood and beat to the sound of performance drums. It hummed through Inej’s body every time she whispered her native language to herself under Tante Heleen’s ring-clad fist. She stored the precious words so deep inside of her that she feared the garbled sounds of Kerch would drown out their melodious syllables.
Once she was under the employment of the Dregs, she would practice Suli as often as she could. Some nights she would stare into the mirror, barely recognizing the woman in front of her as she spoke in Suli to herself. She would even write letters to her family in the beautiful script they had taught her. Those letters were always burned before the ink could dry. The content didn’t matter to her. She didn’t write them for the sake of filling a paper with impossible hopes and dreams. She wrote them because she feared losing her mother tongue. It was an irrational fear that she had never been able to vocalize to anyone before. Well, at least before Kaz came into the picture. He had asked her one night if she could teach him Suli and noticed, as he always did, the change in her face at the mention of it.
“I understand if you don’t feel comfortable teaching me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Kaz reached out to place his hand on her leg.
Inej watched his pale, scarred knuckles rest on her knee. They had made their way up to the roof of the Crows Club, as they usually did when Inej was home. Whatever time wasn’t spent up there was used to carefully test the idea of being together.
“It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable. It’s that…” Inej’s words wandered away from her. She watched the way his thumb moved along the inside of her knee. It was such a small touch for someone else; for a different boy and a different girl that touch was meaningless. For them, it was everything.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“No. I want to. I’ve spent so many years away from Ravka and most of my people. I only ever get to speak Suli when I’m working with the Dregs or helping people escape a sinking slave ship. For years, I was afraid that one day, I would wake up and forget the language entirely.”
“Is that possible?” His deep voice sounded raspy but soothing against the black night. “Not to lose it in one day, but for you to just forget Suli that easily?”
Inej nodded slowly. “I already have.” It broke her heart to admit it. “When I first arrived to Ketterdam, everything came to me in Suli. Dreams, thoughts, speech. I had to learn to filter my words into Kerch. Now I find that more and more of my thoughts and dreams come in Kerch than they do in Suli.”
Kaz was silent for a few heartbeats. Inej felt as if she had stripped herself bare in front of the entire Barrel. It was odd to feel that way around Kaz now. He had seen and touched parts of her that no one else was ever given permission to. Kaz knew her like no other person could, yet this was a part of her she hadn’t accepted about herself, let alone explained to him. There was an intimacy that came with talking about her culture that made her feel exposed.
“The language is not the only thing that ties you to the culture, Inej. You will always be Suli as long as you carry it in your heart.”
Tears surprised Inej by burning the back of her eyelids. “Come home with me,” she spoke through the lump in her throat.
He looked taken aback. “Home? You mean Ravka?”
She nodded. Inej had felt confident the first time she asked the question, but the way Kaz was looking at her now made her doubt her request.
“Yes. To Ravka. To my family. I-I’ve been thinking about going back for a while now. I even asked Nina for her help in tracking my family down.”
“I didn’t know that,” Kaz’s eyebrows came together in a way that meant he was already calculating things. She recognized that look: scheming face.
“You may be Dirtyhands on this island, Brekker, but that doesn’t mean you’re privy to everything east of Kerch.”
Kaz grinned wickedly. “Maybe not east, but we all know that I was able to conquer the North quite easily.” This was also a new side of Kaz that she had gotten to know over the last few months: one that was playful without an edge of cruelty attached to it. The air around them changed and Inej no longer felt the sadness that usually came with thinking about home.
“We conquered the Ice Court together. With the help of some friends, which you had to beg for help from, if I remember correctly.”
Kaz looked appalled. “I never begged.”
“So you admit that you did need our help.”
“Need is a strong word, Inej. The only things I need in this world are food, air, and you.”
It was her turn to look speechless. Kaz was rarely ever so direct with her about his feelings for her. She knew, of course, that he cared for her as she did for him. It was one thing, however, for her to know it and another for him to be so forward about it.
“And because I need you, Inej, my answer is yes. I want to go to Ravka with you. I want to go everywhere and anywhere with you. We’ll conquer the world together if that’s what you want. I want to be wherever you need me to be.”
Kaz’s words echoed in her head. She would hear them every time she thought of home. Her real home. Thanks to Nina’s help, Inej was sailing to Ravka within months with Kaz by her side.
The Wraith soared through the water and, in what felt like one night’s rest, Inej’s crew was docking The Wraith in Os Kervo’s main dock. From the stern of her ship, Inej could hear the sound of her crew talking and moving. The water lapped against the underside of her ship, gently rocking her reflection back and forth.
Inej prayed in Suli as she strapped Sankt Petyr and Sankta Alina to her forearms. She tried to quell the anxious shake of her hands while Sankta Marya and Anastasia were readjusted on her thighs. Sankt Vladimir fit snugly into her boot, making Inej wonder what her mother would say at the sight of her in Fabrikator-made boots, not Suli slippers. Sankta Lizabeta with her rose-engraved handle sat at her belt, hidden under the folds of her black Suli wrap.
When not in front of a roaring crowd, the Suli were a reserved people. Despite Tante Heleen’s disgusting portrayal of her culture, Inej still loved the vibrant colors of Suli dupattas and embroidered kurtas. When she felt the jerk of the anchor settling into place, Inej realized how long it had been since she dressed in chiffon and silk. She didn’t recognize the Suli woman staring in the mirror staring back at her. For one, the sleeves were tailored to be much longer than she would have normally needed during Ravkan summers. However, she didn’t want anyone to see the network of scars that decorated her skin from years of violence. The second thing that threw off her reflection was the way she’d styled her hair. Though she performed with her hair in a braided coil, Inej knew her mother loved it best when it was wild and loose. Finally, the last time she had seen herself like this was when she was still an innocent girl who yearned to grow into a talented acrobat.
Inej was now so fundamentally different from that child. If anything, the dupatta she was wearing felt like a costume.
Knocking forced her to turn away from her damned reflection.
“Adara aaen,” Inej called out, already knowing who it would be before he stepped into the room.
“I assume that means ‘come in,’” Kaz’s slim figure filled her doorway. He was dressed in an inmanulate suit as usual, gloved hands resting on top of his crow’s head cane and a smirk on his face.
“What?” Inej hadn’t realized the words had come out in Suli instead of Kerch. It was rare for her to mix the languages up like that. The fact that it had even happened spoke of her nerves. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to translate everything into Suli to get some last minute practice.”
Kaz’s arrogant look slipped and he shook his head. “No need to apologize. I love hearing you speak Suli.”
Inej forced a smile to her face. “If the Saints allow it, soon that’s all you're going to hear.” She looked out the port window, watching the lazy rays of sun dance along the sky. Somehow the Ravkan sky seemed to shine brighter than the Kerch one.
“Don’t slip away from me,” Kaz prompted her gently. She realized that she had started to float off into her own thoughts, something she’d found herself doing more and more the closer they’d gotten to shore.
“Are you ready?”
“No. But I don’t think I ever will be.”
“We don’t have to do this, not if you don’t want us to. I’ll go and ask Getz to take The Wraith right back if you’ve changed your mind, or we can take a trip to Nina’s instead. Whatever you want to do, I'll be here for you.”
Inej shook her head. “I might be terrified, but I want to do this. I just feel out of place in a Suli outfit after not having worn one in so long.” Her fingers pulled at one of the tightly knitted seams.
Kaz leaned his cane against the wall, closing the door behind him. He went up to Inej and turned her to face the mirror. “I don’t think your parents will be any less happy to see you if you wore a dupatta or a kefta or a sack. They’ll be too excited to see you.” Kaz’s arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her body into his. Inej felt his warm, solid chest against her back. She inhaled his calming smell, grateful for his presence.
“In Suli, we have a saying for people who have betrayed their kind, who have disgraced them or turned their back on them. Kadema mehim. It’s the worst sort of punishment you could receive for your actions.” She shuddered at the thought of ever hearing those words said to her. Inej herself had only ever used them once.
“I am not the same little girl who was taken from them. They might realize that and see me as forsaken. As someone who has turned away from the Saints.”
Kaz brushed her hair off to one side to rest his head on her shoulder. Kaz’s reflection towered over Inej’s own in the mirror. His sable eyes looked stubborn and unwaveringly serious. “You are many things, Inej, but a traitor is not one of them. It’s true that you are not the same girl you were when they knew you. But they will see that you grew into a brave, strong woman who will stop at nothing to do what is right for the people she loves.
“They will see that you have fought against all the odds and have become an unstoppable force that they should feel blessed to have in their lives. They will love you, Inej. It is impossible for them to not love you.”
This time she didn’t stop the tears that slid down her cheeks. She took a shuddering breath and placed a hand against his jaw. The sharp line was lined with light stubble, but that didn’t stop her from running a finger against its curve. Her fingers traced the scar beneath the right edge of jaw, thinking about the other scars that peppered his skin. Many of those scars earned alongside her.
“They will love you, too, Kaz.” Inej knew that he was almost as nervous as she was to meet her family, though he would never voice it out loud.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” He kissed her cheek and pulled away. “They might think of me as the man who corrupted their daughter.”
She shook her head. “No, they will think of you as the man who has made their daughter too happy to put into words.”
Kaz stared at his gloves, refusing to make eye contact. “Will they? Have I?”
It was her turn to reach out to him. Inej wrapped her hands around his neck. “Yes and yes. You have made their daughter happier than she ever thought possible.”
Kaz’s hands tentatively grabbed her waist. His eyes were on her lips but he didn’t move. Not until she did. Inej leaned up, catching his mouth with hers. The sounds of the crew and the ocean were replaced by the sound of her heart in her chest. Kaz was always gentle with her. His kisses were soft like the petals of spring and sweet like caramel. He held her like there was nothing that could ever separate them.
Inej sighed, melting into his every touch. It was impossible to feel anxious or scared in his arms. His fingers pressed into her silk wrap and Inej released a gasp. Kaz took that opportunity to take everything she gave him. Her skin suddenly burned. The sweetness was still there, dancing with a fiery spice that surprised her. They had rarely ever held each other this long without the waters swallowing him up.
His hands buried themselves in her long hair. Inej reached into his jacket, feeling the muscles beneath his white shirt. Kaz then broke away, breathing hard and shuddering. His face was flushed and his lips looked deliciously swollen.
Inej, realizing what they had done, began to apologize for having been too forward.
“No. It wasn’t you. Believe me, it wasn’t that.” Kaz shook his head, gloved hands holding hers against his chest.
“But if it wasn’t...why did you stop?” Inej could feel a blush spreading across her cheeks.
“I really didn’t want to,” Kaz’s gaze made goosebumps dance across her skin. “But we need to leave soon if we want to make it to Ivets before dark. And to be quite honest with you, Wraith, I’m not sure how far we would have gone this time. I really didn’t want to stop.”
Inej laughed. “Neither did I. It’s okay. We’ll have time another day. We have the rest of our lives to do that and so much more.”
“Captain,” Getz called from outside her door. “The crew’s settled and waiting for your orders.”
“Duty calls, Wraith.” Kaz’s smile was as sharp as ever. He adjusted the tie she’d crinkled.
Inej pulled her shoulders back, stepped through the doorway and told her crew that they could do as they pleased for a few hours. Within the next hour, she and Kaz were on their way to Ivets, the city where Nina had informed Inej her family would be performing for the next week. Every road they passed brought her closer and closer to her family. Inej could hardly contain her excitement and nervousness. While passing a crowded marketplace, Inej almost barreled into a group of children running across the street.
“Whoa, Inej,” Kaz called as he held her back from stepping into the walkway. “Careful. I know you’re excited to see your family, but even I think it���s a little much to trample a few children along the way.”
“Could you imagine that after getting back to Ketterdam, the Wraith and Dirtyhands voyaged all the way to some unknown city in Ravka just to run over a few children?” she joked, though her voice wavered enough for Kaz to notice.
“When you put it like that...” Kaz’s eyes had the same spark in them that always appeared right before a job. “While that does sound tempting, I think my bloodthirsty reputation will survive despite having let them live.”
By sunset, Inej could hear the pounding of Suli drums. They had passed through the heart of Ivets’ main city before reaching the boundary of an open field. A golden tent heavily embroidered with thick swirls rose high over the clearing. Inej’s breath caught in her throat at the familiar sound of Suli folk music floating outside of its flowing entrance. Sweet curling smoke filled the air with the smell of fried dough, glazed fruits, and…
The smell of her family gatherings to celebrate the Saints. She envisioned her mother, kind and beautiful, carrying baskets full of fresh vegetables for dinner. Her father, strong and brave, chopping potatoes alongside his wife. Her cousins fighting over plates of food. Her aunts handing out sticky sweets. Her uncles setting up place settings.
The music reminded her of the first time she stood on a tightrope. The bottomless drop that yawned beneath her and the open sky that blanketed her. How it felt to be covered in performance glitter and to curl her hair to fall around her round cheeks. She remembered scrapping her hands on trees, trying to beat her cousins to the top. How it felt to look over the Ravkan landscape and see nothing but endless opportunities.
After years of darkness, years of bloodshed, years of the staccato sounds of Kerch, Inej Ghafa was finally home.
Home...and rooted to her spot at the edge of the circus grounds. Ravkans stood in line, waiting to be let into the performance tent; the same tent that she had spent countless days in during the early years of her life. A bronze-skinned man stepped out of the tent, dressed in loose fitted black pants and a thick, colorful coat. His voice was deep and stern as he hollered the rules of the performance out into the crowd of people.
Inej stared in wonder, unsure about who the man was. Chaacha Jilé was the one who used to tame the crowds before they entered the performance area. The man at the entrance was not her uncle.
“Hanzi,” the name came to her with a jolt.
Inej was suddenly flying. Or at least that’s what it felt like as the grass was crushed beneath her racing feet. One minute, she was standing beside Kaz and the next, she was running straight to her cousin, pushing through the crowd of guests until she stood at the very front.
“Hanzi,” she said again, this time facing the man whom she now recognized.
Her cousin’s words died on his lips and he froze, arms limp at his sides as looked at her. “Inej?”
A sob escaped her. She could hear the sound of the crowd’s confusion but she didn’t care.
“Hanzi,” was all that she could say.
His face broke into a smile. A roaring shout came from him as he yelled in Suli. “Inej! Inej is here! Masi Calla! Chaacha Baraz! Inej is home!”
Tears streamed down her face at the sound of her parents’ names: Calla and Baraz. Mama and Papa. Inej waited anxiously as the longest few seconds of her life passed. She could see from the sliver opening in the flaps a flurry of motion. She caught her name be repeated and questions thrown. Hanzi shouted again, tears in his own eyes.
Inej’s whole world froze as Mama and Papa came through the entrance. They stepped out, first looking at her cousin with an agonizing look of hope and confusion on their faces.
“Mama. Papa.”
They turned towards Inej as she called out to them. Her mother’s face was more wrinkled than it had been when she’d been taken. Her hair was still long and elegantly braided to the side. Her father’s beard was mixed with grays where it was once solid black. He was clutching his wife’s shoulder, eyes landing on his daughter for the first time in four years.
“Inej.” He didn’t say her name like Hanzi had. He said it with such certainty and conviction that it made Inej’s knees give out from under her.
Before her body could fully hit the ground, her parents’ arms were around her. She buried her face in her mother’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around her father’s waist.
“Esfir,” her mother whispered in her ear. Inej couldn’t describe the relief and joy that flooded through her at the word.
Esfir was Suli for ‘little star.’ Late at night, they used to tuck her under her covers with a kiss. Her mother used to say that Inej was her little star and her father would explain that she was their guiding light.
Inej didn’t know how long they sat in the damp grass, crying and hugging and whispering to each other.
“I’m home,” she would say.
“You’re home.” One of them would repeat.
“I prayed to all of the Saints that you would find your way home to us.” Her father said.
“They called us fools. Said that we would never see you again. They told us that you were taken too far for us to ever reach you again,” her mother cried.
“Never,” Inej promised. “I will never be too far to come back home. The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true. My heart is here.”
After some time, Inej realized that the rest of her family had come outside of the tent. Night had fallen and the crowd was now gone. Her older cousins looked as if Sankt Juris had come down to blow his blue flames. Disbelief filled their faces. Some of her younger cousins looked just as shocked, though less afraid of her. Inej also noticed the soft coos of the newest editions to her family. One toddler who must have born within the first year she was at the Menagerie. Two more who looked as though they came along while she was in service with the Dregs.
The Dregs. Kaz.
Inej pulled away from her parents, realizing who else she had forgotten about for the second time that night.
“Mama. Papa. I didn’t come here alone,” her words scratched against her throat. She hadn’t realized the tears had dried out her voice until that moment.
Inej turned around, knowing that Kaz would have waited as long as she needed him to. He still stood towards the edge of the trees. Inej called out to him in Kerch.
Kaz came forward, trying his best not to look like Dirtyhands under the cover of night with his crow’s head cane and thick gloves. Though he no longer needed them with her, Inej knew that he wasn’t ready to hug every member of her teary-eyed family.
Kaz stood beside her. Inej took his hand in hers and squeezed tightly.
“This is Kaz.” Inej had practiced this speech so many times in her head. She had carefully racked her brain for the proper words in Suli to say what she needed to say.
“Kaz and I...we have been through too many things together to explain in one night. Most of the last four years have been cruel and lonely. Kaz has been one of the few good things to come into my life since I was fourteen,” her words choked off. “I ask that you be kind to him and embrace him as a part of my life. He has saved it in many ways over the years. In some ways, it is thanks to him that I am here.”
Her father stood from where he was still crouched in the grass. He approached Kaz, looking more serious than Inej had ever seen him look in her life. He stood a few inches shorter than Kaz, but still managed to look down at him.
“Do you speak Suli?” Baraz asked him.
“No-” Inej was cut off by Kaz.
“Not fluently, but I am learning.” Kaz shocked her by responding in fluid Suli instead of Kerch. He gave her side-eyed look, clearly enjoying the shocked look on her face.
Her father nodded. “Then I can thank you properly. For helping my daughter return to us.”
Kaz bowed his head. “Inej is the wisest, most determined person I have ever met. She would have found her way back to you with or without me.”
Baraz laughed, “Esfir is just like her mother in that way. Nothing stands in the way of her and what she wants.”
Inej smiled in relief. “That is true. And right now, what I want is some stuffed peppers and goulash made the proper Suli way.”
Her mother laughed, standing to embrace Inej once again. “You can have whatever you would like, Inej.”
“My turn!” Hanzi called out from the cluster of cousins closest to her. Inej turned to find him now barreling towards her.
Inej froze for a second, not feeling entirely comfortable with the tight embrace. She tried her best to laugh through the rush of panic. It hadn’t even occurred to her until that moment how her homecoming would be full of physical touching that she wasn’t entirely ready for.
Her arms didn’t move from her sides, but at least she didn’t pull away until he did. Hanzi didn’t seem to register her tight shoulders.
“I can’t believe you’re really back, Inej! What took you so long? Adja has been driving me crazy. She thinks that she’s in charge now because she can do a handstand on the highwire, but now that you’re back, you can prove to her that you’re in charge. I even reminded her that you used to be able to do an entire double front routine on the high wire without a net.” While her older cousin may have gotten older, he still rambled half made up tales as though he hadn’t aged a day.
“I don’t even have the energy to explain how wrong that is,” Inej shook her head at her cousin’s infectious joy. Hanzi had always been one of her favorites because, no matter what, he could always tell some ridiculous story to make her laugh.
“First of all,” a female voice interjected, “I’ve been able to do a handstand on the high wire for years. Second, all I said was that you weren’t in charge, Hanzi.” Adja said from behind him. She was only two years younger than Inej, but she had been terrified of the high wire. While Inej had danced around it barefoot, Adja refused to step onto one.
“Come on, Nej. Remind Adja who the real master is!”
“No,” Calla stood in between her daughter and her nephew. “Inej has only been with us for a few minutes and already you are trying to get her in trouble,” her mother chided Hanzi.
Kaz chuckled from behind her. It was clear from his expression that, while he wasn’t able to understand all of their conversation, the sound of an upset mother seemed to be universally understood.
“Come, Esfir. We’re going to have a proper welcome dinner,” her mother nodded towards the rest of her family. “Disah and Remen, go to the Ivetan market…”
Inej allowed her mother to assign everyone their tasks while she looked back at Kaz. He was smiling, looking proud of her, but she couldn’t tell why.
“What?” she asked him in quiet Kerch.
“You didn’t pull away when he hugged you,” he truly looked proud of her. Inej looked towards Hanzi worriedly.
“No. I didn’t exactly hug him back.” It would have been a lie to act as though she wasn’t disappointed in her reaction to Hanzi’s embrace. It was an unexpected reality of what she had endured all those years ago. “Do you think they noticed?”
“He was too excited to have you back to notice,” Kaz shook his head. “That’s not the point. The point is that you didn’t pull away. It wasn’t easy, but you did it, Inej. You’re home and your family couldn’t be more happy to see you.”
She took a deep breath. She hadn’t even realized that her nervousness had started to creep up on her after Hanzi’s hug until now. For a while there, she had forgotten about all of her anxieties. Now that her family had split itself into their roles to prepare for her homecoming diner, she had a quiet moment to be reminded of them.
That was when Kaz, ever supportive and aware of how she was feeling, stepped in to ease her nerves. “Kaz, do you think I should tell them the truth?”
“You don’t owe anyone any explanations. You tell them as much as you want to. It’s your story to tell.”
Inej had known long before that night on the rooftop that she was in love with Kaz. She had known for quite some time. As she stared into his honest eyes, surrounded by the sounds of her family, Inej was reminded of how deep her love for Kaz Brekker went.
“What did I ever do for the Saints to bless me with you,” she wondered out loud.
It was hard to tell with the pale moonlight as her only source of light, but for a moment, Inej thought that she saw Kaz’s face blush. His gaze left her and landed on the starry Ravkan sky.
“I ask myself the same question about you every day that we are together, Inej.”
“Nej!” Adja yelled from the performance tent. “Masi Calla asked me to help you and your...friend...find new clothes.”
Inej looked down at her Suli dupatta. “What’s wrong with what we have on now?”
Adja eyed the Wraith and Dirtyhands with pursed lips. “You both look as though you’re going to a funeral. Tonight is a party, Nej. You need to be dressed in party clothes. Now let's go, Masi might cut the wire during our next performance if I don’t get you both dressed in time.”
Inej remembered how her mother used to fuss over her dirty silks when she came back inside from an afternoon spent playing outside. “You’re right. Mama would absolutely do something like that.”
“Where are we going?” Kaz asked her, keeping up with her hurried steps with his usual ease.
Inej glanced at him. “Oh, so you suddenly don’t speak Suli anymore?” They walked around the performance tent to the line of caravans far behind it.
Kaz smirked arrogantly. “I never said I did. Just that I was learning. You didn’t think that I was going to come and meet your entire family without at least attempting to familiarize myself with the language, did you? It’s not that difficult to memorize a few phrases here and there.”
She pushed him lightly with her shoulder. “How about on the boat? Were you faking then?”
Kaz shook his head. “Technically, I wasn’t faking. I know some words and phrases, but not everything. Not yet. Give me a few weeks with your family and I’ll be fluent.”
Inej rolled her eyes. “Not a chance, Brekker. My language is too poetic for a shevrati like you to con your way in that short amount of time. Memorizing a few parables is not the same thing as being able to use all the beautiful nuances we have.”
“It would be easier if I had some help from a beautiful and smart teacher.”
“You’re right. I think Hanzi would probably be willing to sign up.”
“It’s rude to speak in another language, you know,” Adja said from in front of them. The three of them finally stopped in front of Adja’s family caravan.
Kaz shot a glance at her cousin. Inej translated and he apologized in Suli.
“Not you,” Adja nodded towards Inej. “I meant Nej. She was always a quiet one, you know. At least you got her talking.”
Kaz nodded along pleasantly thought it was clear he didn’t understand. When Inej explained, his bitter coffee eyes looked amused.
“I wasn’t quiet, Adja. Hanzi was just usually screaming over me about nothing.”
Adja giggled and unlocked the door. “That is probably true. I was thinking, you should fit in my outfit from Sankta Day last year instead of just a normal dupatta. As for Ka-s,” she stumbled on his Kerch name, “He can borrow Papa’s performance kurta.”
Kaz looked somber, but didn’t argue. “Chaacha Micta used to make some interesting fashion choices,” Inej explained to him as her cousin went in search of the outfits.
“How so?”
Inej bit her lip, holding back laughter. “Let’s just say that he probably could take a few tips from Jesper.”
His eyes widened. “Inej-”
It was too late. Adja emerged from behind a curtain carrying multiple pieces of thick fabric. For Inej, she had a neatly folded Anarkali suit of rich burgundy. Sparkling gold embroidery lined the long, slightly flared skirt and traced the cuffs of the fitted sleeves. A light, white and gold wrap also came with the outfit. On top of it sat a pair of high heels that matched the wine-colored clothes. Inej took the clothes into her hands, feeling the soft yet firm fabrics that were saved for more festive clothing in her culture.
“It might be a little long for you,” Adja eyed Inej’s smaller frame. “But it will do.”
“Thank you, Adja.”
She shrugged off her cousin’s thanks. Her other hand still held Kaz’s outfit. He was standing dangerously still beside Inej. His face was blank of any reaction, but Inej could only imagine what was going through his head. While her outfit was designed with elegance and grace in mind, Kaz’s was made for a true showman. Or at least for a color blind one.
Chaacha Micta had a performance kurta that was radiant white with orange and green gems cascading down the sleeves. Sunset colored pants were folded to match the sparkling jewels. It was both bright and sparkly, two things Kaz hated in clothing.
“Dhanyavaad,” Kaz mimicked Inej’s Suli to thank Adja. Inej was reminded of how good of a liar he was because if she hadn’t known better, she would have thought Kaz looked almost excited to wear her uncle’s kurta.
Adja beamed, looking between the two. “I don’t think Chaacha Baraz or Masi Calla would be okay with me leaving you two in here alone to change but…” Her cousin broke off and shrugged. “If you brought, Ka-s all the way here, I have to assume that it is not the first time you’ve been left alone.”
Heat flooded Inej’s cheeks. She couldn’t meet Adja’s eyes when she nodded. “It’s okay. Mama and Papa won’t know if you don’t tell.”
Adja continued to look between them. It was the same look Nina had given them before Inej had actually opened up about her relationship with Kaz. A look that said that Adja could see something they couldn’t. She was used to getting that look from her friends or other Dregs, but it was a little unnerving to see that look in the eyes of someone she hadn’t seen in years.
“Just don’t take too long. Chaacha and Masi will seriously cut the rope if they find out about this,” she pointed between Kaz and Inej. She swiftly ran out of the caravan, giggling at Inej’s eye roll.
Once she was out the door, Inej’s focus was back on Kaz. His polite smile dropped with Adja out of sight.
Kaz spoke seriously, “Inej, you know that I care for you deeply. More than anything in this world, I care for you.”
Warmth filled her heart, but her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.
“Because I care for you, I want your family to like me.”
“I already told you-”
“Yes, I know. I’m wonderful. A trickster god amongst men. But that’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Then what is it?”
Kaz looked at her in disbelief. “Do you even have to ask me that question? This,” Kaz raised the clothes in his hands to meet her eye level. “I’ve never seen anything so…”
Laughter burst out from Inej. She quickly moved to cover her mouth with her hands, but there was no concealing the way her body shook from amusement.
“That is a traditional Suli kurta, Kaz. It’s an important part of my culture.”
He shook his head. “I have seen kurtas. This does not look like that. This looks like some nightmare Jesper and Nina would have designed.”
“Poor Dirtyhands is too insecure to wear something so dazzling,” Inej placed a hand on his cheek. She ran a finger down the sharp cut of his jawline. “I’m sure you’ll look great. Not as good as Chaacha would in it, but a close second.”
Kaz’s eyes held a playful fury. His ebony eyes only ever fixed on her that way. It was a look that promised both a punishment and sweet reward for her words.
“If the Dregs ever find out about this…”
A wicked smile broke onto her face. “I can’t imagine how they would. I keep all your secrets.”
“Don’t even think about telling them, Wraith.” One of Kaz’s arms found her waist.
“Jesper, on the other hand,” her fingers moved to run through his hair. “Jesper is a bit of a big mouth. If this somehow got to him, I don’t think there is any way of stopping him.”
“I can think of at least twelve different ways I could stop him with this kurta alone.” His face moved closer to hers.
Inej turned so his lips landed on her cheek. “No time for that, Brekker. We have to get dressed.”
He sighed and gave the bedazzled shirt a weary look. “If you ever doubt how I feel about you, Inej, just remember this moment.” Before she could respond, Kaz gestured towards the room Adja had gone into to find the clothes. “I’ll change in there.”
Time and time again, Kaz reminded her of why she fell for him in the first place. He had seen every part of her and touched almost all of her, yet Kaz never made assumptions about her limits. No matter how far they had or hadn’t gone, Kaz always asked for permission. On the nights when all she could do was hold his hand, he never pushed her to go further. Even now, after what had happened on the boat and having had met her family, Kaz gave Inej the privacy she needed without hesitation.
With Kaz gone from her sight, Inej was left to unstrap her daggers and quickly dressed into Adja’s Anarkali suit. After a few minutes, Inej stopped hearing Kaz’s quiet cursing.
“I’m almost ready.” She called to him through the curtain.
He shuffled around on his side of the caravan. “This looks even worse than I imagined.”
Inej ignored him, debating whether or not to strap on her beloved blades for the feast.
“Inej?”
“I’m almost ready, you can come out.”
Kaz had been right. The kurta had looked worse than she had imagined. The shirt hung at little too loose from his slight frame, but the pants were too short for his tall stature. They stopped just above his ankles, showing a peak of his white socks.
“Oh.” Inej cringed. “You were not joking.”
Kaz looked at her intently. “You look beautiful, Inej.”
Inej had yet to see herself in the mirror, but Kaz’s reaction was all she needed to confirm what she had already suspected. Adja was slim like Inej but stood a few inches over Inej . The rest of her outfit fit as it was tailored to. The top complimented her figure while the bottom flared out into an elegant skirt that pooled around Inej’s feet more than she would have normally allowed. It wasn’t perfect, but she loved it regardless.
“Traditionally, I would have special Sankta Day earrings that have some sort of token to represent a Saint.” Inej absentmindedly tugged at her ears. “Though, I haven’t worn any earrings since leaving the Menagerie.”
His look softened. Kaz forgot all about his unfortunate attire. “Would you like to? I’m sure Adja would let you borrow hers.”
“The holes have closed by now. It’s okay. I don’t need them. I have these.” She slid Sankt Petyr, the dagger he had given her so long ago, into place. She tried to ignore the fact that it took her far less time to strap all seven of her blades into place than it had to properly dress herself in the Sankta Day skirt.
“I’ll tell Adja we’re ready.”
“Wait,” Kaz’s fingers intertwined with hers. He reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a matingkia made of expensive gold and rich-colored stones. It was simple, as far as Suli headpieces went, with one clear diamond in the middle of a small ruby flower.
“Kaz,” Inej’s breath caught in her throat. “Where did you find this?” Her fingers curved delicately around the precious metal.
“A vendor in Ketterdam had a tent full of Suli jewelry. He has a Suli wife that makes all the items to sell.”
“Do you believe him?” It was more than possible that the vendor’s story was a ruse to get more money from gullible tourists visiting the island.
“I’ve met her.”
“You did?”
“Yes. When I asked her to make this one for you.”
The matingka felt heavier in her hand than it had moments ago. “You asked her to make this for me?” Inej tried to envision Dirtyhands entering a Kerch market to meet with an ederlly Suli woman. She thought of how long he must have spent picking the design, and then jewels to place in it.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered to him. “She’s clearly very talented.”
Kaz tried not to look too smug which was a change for him. “Only the best for my Wraith.”
“Sometimes we wear them for special holidays.” Inej debated whether or not to say the next part. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by making any assumptions. “These are traditionally given to Suli women by their father or husbands.”
She saw him nod nervously. “I know. The woman, Gintha, explained to me the tradition. She said fathers would give them to their daughters and pray that the Saints would give them wisdom as they grew into strong women.”
“Did she tell you why husbands give them to their brides?” She couldn’t deny the fear or eagerness that she felt waiting for his answer.
“To symbolize the love and respect he promises to show her every day after they are wed. The same love and respect that I have felt for you every day for too many years to count.”
Inej’s body was frozen with emotion. Love. Kaz loved her. He didn’t just love her. He respected her. Respected her boundaries and dreams and goals.
“Nej! Are you done yet?” Adja suddenly banged against the door of the caravan.
The reality of her situation flooded back to Inej. For a few moments, she had forgotten who she was. Where she was. Inej took the head piece, not bothering to hide her flustered look as she pushed Kaz back behind the curtain.
“Get out of those clothes. Hurry!” Kaz laughed and she realized how her words sounded. “No! That’s not what I meant. I mean change back into yours! My family will just have to deal with your Kerch suit during dinner.”
She rushed back to the door and let Adja in. “I’m almost ready.”
Adja looked her up and down. “It fits better than I thought. And Ka-s?”
“The clothes didn’t fit him so he’s changing back into his. Here,” she handed Adja the matingka. “Can you help me put this on?”
“Did he give this to you?” she pointed towards the curtain.
“Yes. Now help me put it on. I’ve never put one on myself. Papa only ever put it on me once.”
Adja waved her off. “It’s easy.” She spun Inej around and took a few hair pins from her own brown hair to fasten it into place. “There! Done! Just in time.”
Kaz walked into the room, looking much less miserable now that he was dressed in his own clothes.
“Tell her that her father’s wardrobe should be burned.”
“He says that he loved the kurta and is sorry that it didn’t fit,” Inej easily lied. “Also your tie is crooked again.”
He cursed under his breath and nervously put into place as her cousin spoke.
Adja beamed at her. “I don’t believe that’s true, but it doesn’t matter. Come on! Everyone is waiting for you.”
Inej’s stomach turned over nervously. She had been so overcome with emotions when she’d first greeted her family. Those emotions were starting to settle, but in their place grew the seeds of anxiety once again.
Inej and Kaz trailed behind Adja as they made their way back from the caravan section of their carnival to the performance area. Inej looked around the cool night air, keeping track of all the things that looked familiar and different at the same time.
She pointed to a smaller performance tent made of a thick white sheet. “What’s that?” she asked Adja.
“We started to tour with a second family about two years ago. Hanzi is engaged to the daughter of their paira vaala.” A breeze opened the flap of the white tent and Inej could see the bed of coals used for the paira vaala, or fire walker.
“Hanzi’s getting married?” Inej couldn’t imagine her cousin as she had last known him having a fiancé. He was always too loud and playful when around his family, but unearthly quiet around other girls their age.
“I know! We were all just as surprised as you were. Chaacha Jilē almost fainted.”
“He didn’t tell them that he was seeing her?” Inej’s surprise only grew. While she may not have gotten her parents’ permission before choosing to be with Kaz, her situation hadn’t given the option of choosing the favored Suli traditions.
“He didn’t even tell me! And I’m his favorite bhara. At least I have been since you…” Left? Were taken? Disappeared? Inej could hear the end of Adja’s sentence even if her cousin didn’t want to fill it in.
“I remember that,” Inej awkwardly filled the silence. She pointed to a section of tents reserved for carnival games. “Kila,” one of their older cousins, “once bet me thirteen kruge that I couldn’t win every game in the tent.”
“Kroog?” It wasn’t until the word left Adja’s mouth that Inej realized that she’d forgotten the Suli word for currency or money. It was such a small thing to forget, but it made her stop in her tracks.
“I-” she started to explain. “I’m sorry. I guess I just haven’t used that word in Suli in a few years. Uhm,” Inej racked her brain, digging deep into her memories to find the right word.
“What’s wrong?” Kaz, who had been silently listening to their conversation, spoke up. He couldn’t understand them, but he could see Inej’s face change. “I think I heard you say ‘kruge.’”
She shook her head, momentarily confused as Suli and Kerch collided with each other in her head. Rupe. The word finally came to her in a blunt memory. “I forgot the Suli word for money,” she said to him in Kerch and then explained it to her cousin again.
“Oh!” Adja didn’t seem fazed by her cousin’s slip up. “Kila was such a gambler. A terrible one too. Though I guess he doesn’t need to worry about that anymore. He married a wealthy Shu family. How he wiggled his way into that, I have no idea.”
Inej nodded along as Adja rambled. She was no longer listening to her cousin’s end of the conversation. Instead, she began filing through the mental dictionary in her brain. What other words had she forgotten?
Bread? Roti. Butterfly? Titali. Bowl? Katora. Horse? Ghora. Ocean? Samudara.
Random words were tossed and turned in her head. Adja continued to talk about their uncles and aunts. She went through family gossip as quickly as Nina went through maple-drizzled waffles. Inej didn’t hear any of it. All she could hear was the sound of her Suli-Kerch dictionary flipping page after page.
Torsion wrench? What was the Suli word for the little tool she had used numerous times to pick a lock? Had she ever known the word? Had she ever needed to use that word in her native language before? Would she even need to say torsion wrench during dinner tonight?
Ketterdam isn’t all that bad. At least I learned how to pick locks using a torsion wrench.
No, there was no way she could even imagine herself saying something like that to her family. Inej realized that she had let her nerves run a little too wild. Adja hadn’t even noticed when she said “kruge” instead of “rupe”. The odds of her family being upset with her for not remembering a word here and there were small.
Kaz tugged on the fabric of her skirt, drawing her attention to him once again. His dark eyes met hers, silently asking her once again if she was okay. This time she didn’t have to force a smile on her face to reassure him.
“How did Mama put together a dinner so quickly?” Inej said the moment the smell of paprika, garlic and bell peppers hit her. They had circled back around to the performance tent. Instead of it holding a crowd of entertained Ravkans, tonight, the tent would be used to spread out a Saints-worthy feast.
Adja beamed at her. “Masi Calla asked all of our masis and chaachas that were cooking dinner for after the show to add extra coals to the fires. Some of the food had to be bought from the markets so it won’t be exactly like you’re used to, but it’s all that we could get together so quickly.”
“It’s perfect. You could have fed me rocks and I would have been just as happy to be home.”
The heavy tent flaps were pulled wide open and she could see dark-haired figures moving frantically around the tent. The round seats used for audience members were stacked on top of each other. Inej remembered how long it took to carry the iron seats from the caravans to place them in their rows. She had been too small to carry them herself, so she would hold the bottom half of a stack while Hanzi carried the brunt of the weight.
The high ropes were still strung up from their looming poles. She itched to climb up and test her technique. The chaacha who had first taught her how to balance was strict about proper posture. Though she had no real use for it when sleuthing for the Dregs, she could still hear his sharp calls to straighten her spine or keep her gaze forward.
“Make room! Inej the Great has entered the tent!” Hanzi exclaimed. His voice cut through the flurry of her family’s movement. Inej realized why her uncle had stepped down to let Hanzi handle the crowds. His deep voice was effective when it came to getting a crowd’s attention.
Toffee and hazel eyes all met hers. All of her family, almost twice as many as earlier, froze where they were to stare at her and Kaz. His gloved fingers curved in hers, but no one seemed to care at that gesture as much as they cared about the dazzling headpiece sparkling in the candlelight. Her parents had tears in their eyes as if it was the first time they were seeing her again. Inej had to hold back tears of her own. She saw the circle of food splayed out around the lush carpets dragged from Saints know where to cushion the hard ground.
Sarma, stuffed peppers, bogacha, and xaimoko were still in their metallic cooking pots, steaming as if the fire had just been dosed from under them. Pirogo and xaritsa sat in porcelain crockery that Inej suspected came from the Ivetan market her cousin had mentioned. Silver kettles of chao filled the room with a lingering sweet smell. Dark cups of kafa were already served and in the hands of some to her cousins.
The meal flooded her with too many memories to catch at once. She was swimming in a stream of random memories. Her tongue burning from spicy stuffed peppers and then from chugging a fresh cup of chao in a vain attempt to ease the sting. Mama teaching her how to prepare the sarma properly. Papa stiring a pot of goulash.
“Why are you just standing there? Come! Sit!” Papa gestured to a spot right in front of Inej’s favorite platter.
She blinked back tears. No more tears. Tonight was for celebrating all that she had come back to, not for mourning the years she had lost.
“Some of it had to be bought so it won’t taste exactly like you remember but-” Her mother rushed to her side, holding her daughter’s hand and pulling her and Kaz towards her father.
“Mama, I don’t care how the food tastes. This is already so much more than I could ask for. Just being with you and Papa and everyone else is enough for me.”
Her mother’s dark brows furrowed. She took great pride in her cooking, as a Suli should. “Yes, yes, but still...If you had sent us some sort of message so we could have been prepared, the food would have all been ready. We would have canceled the show much sooner. But no, leave it to our little Esfir to show up as if the Saints had let her fall from their very sky at random.” The novelty of Inej’s arrival was definitely wearing off if her mother was already scolding her.
She laughed despite her mother’s pointed words. Inej settled in her seat comfortably. Kaz sat beside her, looking so out of place in this bright colored tent surrounded by equally colorful kurtas. She couldn’t believe the sight in front of her. Kaz Brekker being handed a steaming cup of chao in his crisp, black suit.
Her own hands were already clutching a plate overflowing with food. Her father had served her heaping spoonfuls of every dish that sat before her. He paused, looking at Kaz curiously.
“Eh...food?” Her father surprised her with the Kerch word. She hadn’t known he spoke any Kerch.
Kaz nodded, “Krpya.”
Her father looked excited by his answer. He piled almost as much food on his plate as he had on hers. Kaz was excellent at hiding his emotions, but there was no hiding the amusement in his eyes. He took the plate with open arms. Everyone, including Inej, watched as Kaz lifted a fork to take a scoop of the rice-stuffed green pepper. He didn’t even flinch at what she could assume to be the spiciest bite of food he’d ever had. He chewed slowly, ignoring the flush that creeped up his neck. Judging from the smell, her family hadn’t held back when it came to spices that night. Finally he smiled, thanking her father for the food.
That seemed to be the cue her family had been waiting for. Everyone unfroze and went for a plate.
Kaz waited until they were no longer staring at him to reach for the tea. She had to bite back a laugh as he gulped down the entire cup.
“Spicy?” She asked, already knowing the answer.
Kaz looked at her as if she had grown an extra ear. “Spicy? Inej, I thought I was going to die.”
This time she couldn’t hold back the laugh. Everything about the night filled her with so much joy and laughter that Inej had to put down her food for a second. Her stomach burned from the giggles that shook her body. Kaz was actually blushing as her cousins closests to her looked at them.
“Kaz said the food almost killed him.” She explained to them. “The Kerch prefer their food much less seasoned. Mostly a hint of salt and pepper. It’s actually very sad.”
All of them broke out into smiles.
Her mother who was still standing behind them said, “Tell Ka-s that he’ll have to get used to real food if he’s decided to stay with you.” She placed a hand on Kaz’s shoulder affectionately.
Kaz, clearly not expecting the sudden touch, went still. His body tensed beneath the touch and his jaw tightened. Her mother noticed the change in his posture and jerked her hand back. She looked at her daughter quickly, but Inej could see the hurt and confusion in her eyes even if it was just for a second.
“It’s not you, Mama.” She rushed to explain for Kaz. His eyes had dropped to the plate resting on his lap.
“I told you that our life in Ketterdam wasn’t easy.” She tried to find a way of explaining without revealing too much of Kaz’s past. “He isn’t used to people touching him unless they’re trying to hurt him. Give him time, Mama.” That part was at least true.
Her mother nodded, looking apologetic but no less confused. This time she was looking at the visible scars along Inej’s arms. Her cousin’s outfit didn’t hide them the way her earlier outfit had.
Hanzi, who was watching the whole exchange from across the tent, spoke out. “What was it like, Nej? In Ketterdam?”
His father, Chaacha Jilé, used a serving spoon to give him a hard tap on the head. “Hanzi!”
“What? We were all thinking it!”
His father shook his head. “You know better than to ask that kind of question.”
“It’s okay.” Inej cut in before her uncle could use the spoon again. “Hanzi is right. You all want to know what happened. I don’t blame you.”
“See!” Hanzi pointed a vindicated finger towards Inej.
“Hush!” His father waved the spoon in front of his son.
She bit back a smile and continued. Inej looked at Kaz. His rigid spine loosened a bit, but he still looked a bit on edge. “I’m going to tell them.”
A small smile tugged on his mouth. “You know I support whatever decision you make.”
It was all the encouragement she needed. “Mama, Papa, you may want to sit down. It’s a long story and most of it isn’t pleasant.”
Her mother worriedly sat beside her. Her father put an arm around her shoulders, physically supporting his wife in the same way Kaz had just supported her.
“I was taken by slavers. They broke in and took me just as the sun had started to rise. They brought me to Ketterdam, where I was sold to a heartless woman who made me do unspeakable things for terrible men. Kaz worked for a group of young men trying to build a new business and went to meet with the woman at the request of his boss. I realized I could escape with his help, so I offered him my skills as an acrobat. He agreed to employ me legally and without having to do any of the things that I was doing there. He taught me how to defend myself. I worked as his spy and I was good at it.
“Ketterdam… it can be an ugly place that brings the ugliness out of even the best people. I’ve done things I pray the Saints will one day forgive me for; but I’m not the same girl I was when I was taken. If I was, I don’t think I would have made it through the first night in that city. I will never be that girl again, no matter how hard I try. And I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.
“I was able to eventually afford a ship and a crew to run it. Now, I'm the captain of a crew of people dedicated to keeping other people from having to go through what I went through. I hope that the work I do at sea can help weaken any shadows I have created during my years in Ketterdam.”
Inej had, of course, changed a few details in her story. There was no way she was going to tell her entire family that the “business” Kaz was running was actually a deadly street gang. She was also never going to explain to them exactly how good at her job she had gotten. They would never understand the things she had done. In fact, if they could see the crimson stains on her hands, they’d probably be so repulsed that they would kick her out on the spot.
Her mother was crying again. Her father looked heartbroken as if all of his worst fears had come true.
“Inej…” Adja spoke first. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
Inej was surprised to realize that she wasn’t in tears as she feared she would have been. “It’s not your fault.” She looked at her parents, realizing that they must have carried some guilt with her disappearance just as she carried the shame of the things she had done.
“Nor is it yours. We couldn’t have known those slavers were going to break into our home. You two did everything you were supposed to. When things were at their worst, I could hear your voices teaching me how to pray to the Saints. I was able to survive so long because I always carried the hope you taught me to hold on to. The hope that I would one day return to you.”
Her father looked furiously stubborn as he said, “And you have. You are home, Inej. That’s all that matters. We don’t care what you had to do to get here. As long as you are here with us again.”
“The Saints don’t punish actions done to survive.” Her mother agreed. “You don’t need to ask them or us for forgiveness. Forgiveness is earned, Inej, and you have been through more than enough to deserve it. We know you. We know you have a good heart. We love who you are now because it brought you back to us.”
“You will always be our esfir.” Her father held his daughter's trembling hands.
Those words were like the first bite of bread after a year long fast. Inej hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear them, or how much it would mean to hear them from her parents. Her father’s touch didn’t wipe away any of the blood on her hands nor did it take away the dark memories she would always carry. But it did make her feel hopeful for the future. For so long she feared that she could never return home; she feared her family would reject the woman she was sharpened into. Her parents didn’t look like they were ready to throw her out. In fact, they looked like they were ready to hold her tighter than ever.
“Wait a second,” Hanzi once again drew all the attention in the room back to him. “You said you were a spy and now a ship captain?”
Inej wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “Yes.”
“And that Ka-s...runs a business?”
“Yes, Hanzi.”
He looked suspiciously between Kaz and Inej. Then at the leather gloves and silver crow’s head of his cane. His jaw dropped. “Inej, you’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?”
She bit her lip, unsure of how to answer.
“He knows, doesn’t he?” Kaz’s gravelly voice was full of pride at being recognized.
“Don’t look so smug. I don’t think he recognized you until I said that I was a ship captain.”
“INEJ!”
She turned back to Hanzi. He was almost buzzing with excitement to hear her answer. “Are you who I think you are? Is he who I think he is?”
Her mother narrowed her eyes at her nephew.“Inej is whoever she wants to be. As for Ka-s, he’s Inej’s...”
Inej looked to Kaz for the answer. They had never felt the need to use a word to explain their relationship. Everyone on their tiny stretch of an island knew better than to question Dirtyhands or the Wraith. Their friends didn’t need an explanation. What she shared with Kaz went deeper than anything she could describe.
“What?”
“They want to know what you are to me.”
“Then tell them.”
“What do you want me to tell them?”
“What do you want to tell them?”
“That you’re the person I love most in this world.”
His smile was blinding. “I’m more than okay with that answer.”
“Kaz is my heart.”
Adja cooed, clutching her heart. Her mother looked approvingly at Kaz. Her father looked relieved by the answer. Hanzi still looked unsatisfied by it.
“Why are you all just staring at us? Let’s eat!” She mimicked her father’s earlier remark. The silence was once again filled with her family’s celebratory cheers.
“Thank you for coming with me. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
Kaz looked smug. “I love you.”
Inej smiled, looking around the circle of happiness brought together by a bond that went deeper than blood. “I love you, too.”
A/N Pt 2: Hi hello! If you happened to have read this before January 2, 2020 then you might remember that there used to be a long paragraph at the end of this fic where I acknowledged all of the cultures that I read about as inspiration to flesh out the Suli culture in this fic. Welp, because Tumblr enjoys to make life difficult, it actually decided to erase the entirety of this fic, leaving only the title. Why? I have no idea!!!! But that means I had to do everything and luckily I had all of the fic saved except for this second A/N bc I added it in right before uploading. While I’m incredibly annoyed by Tumblr glitch and am not able to fully write the original acknowledgment, I still want to give add a smaller version of the previous one.
All of cultures I drew from for this fic can be found listed here. The Suli language was a modified mixture of Hindi and Punjabi. The foods are mostly Romani in origin. The names are a mixture of Turkish, Hindi, Romani, and Slavic names. The clothing have all been specifically named. The head piece Inej wore was directly inspired by a South Asian maang tikka however out of respect for this real cultural practice, I changed the name/origin for the fic. Any parables/customs/religious beliefs explained in the fic are completely fictional that were either pulled directly from the SOC series or made up for this fic. Any connection/similarities to real cultural practices are completely coincidental unless I specifically said so. I believe that was everything important that I had in the original acknowledgment. I’m so sorry if anything was left out. If you do feel that I forgot to mention anything in this rewritten version, please let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it immediately!
#grishabigbang#gvbb#gvbbfic#booklovingturtle writes#leigh Bardugo#Grishaverse#six of crows#crooked kingdom#soc#ck#Kaz Brekker#kaz rietveld#kaz#dirtyhands#ketterdam#inej ghafa#inej#suli#the wraith#wraith#ravka#kanji fic#kanej#kaz x inej#inej x kaz#gvbbcreation
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ok i don’t like any of the photo posts in the tag to reblog w my thoughts, so i’ll just write my own post for painter of the night. following from my last post just now, i was wondering what manhwas recently i’ve been following and have some opinion on and i was like oh right this one. mainly i’m just screaming at nakyum every chapter now to just LEAVE AND NEVER GO BACK. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN EITHER YOUR CRUSH OR SEUNGHO. YOU CAN LIVE OFF OF YOUR ART SOMEWHERE AND BE HAPPY AND INDEPENDENT.
i forgot why i started actively following this manhwa, i feel like i’ve been vaguely following since the 1st few chapters but really started paying attention around the time when seungho started taking a sexual interest in nakyum. prob bc the art is pretty nice and nakyum is cute, like some panels i’m like wow ok this is really well-drawn and nakyum looks nice. at this point in time i’m still betting they’re gonna pull the typical asshole-turns-nice-and-therefore-is-valid-love-interest-material for seungho and they already have another trope of the excuse ‘oh he’s been through some shit so that’s why he acts shitty’ but i do have to admit they’re not really following that trope to a T bc seungho seems to have some degree of remorse for raping nakyum (i mean... like you normally should but this isn’t following BL logic) and we’re getting a slow development of seungho actually developing some kind of feelings for nakyum other than lust. thankfully they’re still maintaining the asshole personality for him bc unrealistic for complete 180 change in personality so i’m interested to see how they develop him further. the other thing i’m not liking though is that they’re kind of making nakyum “fall” for seungho really through the bridge suspension effect (i have certain emotions when i have sex, i have sex with him, transference of those emotions) which i mean it happens but also ugh i hope seungho convinces nakyum to like him through better means which i mean they’re kind of starting w the whole family drama and nakyum not revealing everything to the teacher dude. (teacher dude is a whole other fucking story. god. absolute trash. i hate him for treating nakyum like this)
i think my most recent story detail appreciation was them revealing that nakyum was born in and grew up in a brothel. i haven’t really been reading translations (i’ve only been following through IG posts like usual lol) so idk if maybe i’m just missing details but i believe that’s the 1st time it’s been mentioned and gives reason i suppose to why nakyum knows how to draw sexual stuff apparently pretty well. i love ppl giving backstories to their characters’ behaviors/actions/knowledge and i hope nakyum further gets developed, which i mean will happen for sure bc i don’t think we really know much abt how nayum and teacher dude met/know each other. also i get the vibe they’re gonna pair up teacher dude and seungho’s younger bro which is killing me ... or they could pair up teacher dude and seungho’s side dude which would a pairing of ultimate assholes. anyway intrigued to see where this story goes and i hope nakyum gets some real love in the end !! i’m also glad nakyum kind of has one “ally” in that bearded servant who’s def aware that nakyum and seungho are fucking and takes care of nakyum sometimes afterwards bc y’all know our boy needs SOME support.
also as i was writing this, i realize it kind of reminds me of bj alex for whatever reason (prob bc i was reminded of that manhwa earlier) which i ABSOLUTELY hated but i think i like this one bc nakyum at least fights back a bit while dg (ider their names other than alex tbh lmao) ... didn’t. he just let alex step all over him and it absolutely killed me to read snippets of the scenes where he dumped alex and was literally fucking happier for it but yet he accepted that trash back into his life... i mean yeah alex had changed at that point but fuck off....
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i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him
omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)
any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm
HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana
his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear
since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)
i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends
(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)
ok back to the topic at hand. platano.
i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them
the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow
i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke
so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me”
that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful.
(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)
i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.
so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least
(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)
on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now
“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground.
“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??”
“I can do that?”
“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands.
“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.
“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.”
Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could.
His dads were never worried.
hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene
he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake
i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well
it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn
yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it
OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE
so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie
(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)
ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.
here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO
“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed.
why is it bolded. anyway.
i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs.
i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????”
some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin
looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im tired lol)
OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku
uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca. ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now
He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.
“Banana, mango,
Each tasting amazingly.
A taste of evil.”
Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.
it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.
actually that’s all i will write. i could do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)
#I REALLY WENT SLIGHTLY OFF-TOPIC#like i went broader then refocused in at the end#so if you want the basics its just. right at the end#my brain's out of work mode now it's going into the deepfry machine#melon-official
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Rivals
A/N: THAT GODDAMNED TONGUE IN THE GIF shfishdfisfhijdfis ok I edited the bulleted scenario that I submitted to @nctdoingthings my lovely best friend instead of doing my homework skksdkjskskjdksjdksjskks
Warning: I swear a whole fucking lot
Idk how long it is but it is pretty fluffy and cute! Enemies to lovers! My no.1 au
Ok so you and Mr Kim Doyoung go to the same school/uni idk bro its your imagination I’m just a guideline okay
Y’all generally smart, he’s not in all your classes, just some
Neither of you are TOP of the class like this ain’t some no.1 in the school rivalry I don’t— bitch I don’t have to motivation to even TRY to be no.1 we gotta make this attainable ok?? Y’all just pretty high up there
He sits the table behind you and gets kinda pissed when you laugh obnoxiously with your friends (this is a personal attack @ myself ok)
You try to get along with him but sometimes he just gives you that Look™ where u can tell he’s judging you and thinking ‘damn she dumb wow ok’ (he’s probably not) (maybe a little)
Eventually you gave up because you got exams and fuck I forgot where I was going with this
Oh yeah so y’all just don’t speak. Like you acknowledge each others presences but you just— don’t speak to each other and give each other distasteful looks, you’re not each other’s cups of tea ok fuck it not everyone’s gonna like u suck it up u lil bitch ok I’ll stop
You go to the library to revise for the exams, only free space is next to him so you plop your butt down n get cracking uno
You get stuck on a question and you try textbooks, you try handouts, you try google, you try everything and you just?? Don’t??? Get it???? So you suck up your damned pride and you tap his shoulder like
“Yo so u see this question that we had for homework yeah I don’t understand it, like at ALL, so would you mind helping me please?”
And he just kinda stares at you for a few seconds because he just didn’t,, expect you to actually uno, talk to him never mind like ACTUALLY ask him for help
So he’s like ‘um sure’ ‘okay yeah so you blah blah blah bc the blah blah and the blah blah?’ And you just stare at him for a few seconds back like ‘um what?’
So he takes a deep breath and turns in his seat so he’s facing you more directly and takes the handout from that lesson and explains the whole thing. It kind of seems like he’s getting pissed at your ??? Faces but you don’t say anything because your grades are too important lol
You fiNALLy understand it and say thanks and then continue working
Then it happens agAIN (another day) excEPT ;))) he’s asking yOU for help
I’m making this up as I go along somebody help me
And you really wanna smirk and be all smug but your like to yourself ‘yn, no you gotta CHILL you don’t wanna piss him off’ and you help him anf all is good
THEN the 2 questions you helped each other in came up in the exam and when you get to class you high five because,, uno,, fun!!
So y’all are on an acquaintance level now, and it’s cool, you don’t really speak much but no more distasteful looks thank GOD
Aight so the library stuff doesn’t happen again because, uno, this ain’t to all the boys I’ve loved before ok
We gonna make it kinda realistic
So both of y’all are ill which sucks since y’all did wanna go to school but whatever so you go to your teacher during lunch to get the handout and catchup
Your teacher is like ‘it’s an easy topic I’m sure you guys will get it but how about you sit down and work through it together and if you have questions ask me, ignore the people on the other side of the room they have detention’
Your like aight yeet so you mainly work in silence apart from just checking your answers with each other’s until there’s a question where you both got differing answers so you ask the teacher and they’re like ok let’s go through it on the whiteboard and your and Doyoung’s differing points get him rEally confused
y’all kinda riled up and angry at each other thinking ‘you’re being such a dickhead’ but at each other, with your eyes, idk fam
So the teacher is tryna work it out and you and Doyoung are lowkey/highkey because the passive aggressiveness ain’t subtle insulting each other it was aLL GOING GOOD UNTIL THIS ONE DAMN QUESTION FFS DOYOUNG WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN IT
then one of the kids in the detention are like ‘oooh lovers quarrel’ and snicker so you turn around like ‘bitch come at me do you wanna fight? Like legit I will fight you right now let’s fucking go I’m not joking let’s fucking gO IM READY SQUARE UP MOTHERFUCKER’ ok but obviously less agressive that’s just me and my 4 fire signs
Doyoung is kinda like “?? Why you so sensitive do you like me or something lol and you just give him the bIGGEST EYEROLL LIKE BITCH NOT EVERYTHING’S ABOUT YOU PERHAPS I’M STRESSED BECAUSE IM NOT GETTING THE QUESTION RIGHT DON’T FUCKING FLATTER YOURSELF” and he gets kinda embarrassed and the kids in detention are like ‘oooooh bro you better say sorry or she’ll break up w you’
So you roll your eyes agAIN and mumble ‘just when I started thinking you were actually cool but no you became an arrogant dickhead again, fucking wanker’ y’all I’m sorry I swear too much but there’s nothing I can do
Y’all just sit quietly and the teacher’s like ok start of the next lesson I’ll go through it because I need to ask the other teachers but if y’all are done you can go
So you angrily but quietly pack your shit up and go and Doyoung’s eyes follow you but ofc you don’t notice, you’re angry as shit
When you leave he walks after you and goes “hey y/n Im sorry for pissing you off, but seriously it’s not that deep?” and you just,,,
Because this bitch really hit you with the ‘it’s not that deep’ so you just kinda puff your chest out and walk up to him like ‘excuse you? “It’s not that deep” who do you think you are?’ and he’s just staring down at u
He doesn’t reply, you’re looking him in the eyes but his eyes are a little lower uno ;))) HE’S STARING AT YOUR SOFT LIPS
So you and your filterless mouth decided to say the first thing that pops in your head and go “Kim Doyoung do you like me?” and he fucking snAPS like his eyes widen and he takes 3 steps back
He has the dumbest face like ‘pshh no where’d you get that idea from?’
And you smirk you are sOoooooo smug right now because it all cLICKS NOW
He made a joke saying “do you like me or something” because he wanted to see if you would be up for it and kinda gauge how you feel about him
So you’re like “oh my god Kim Doyoung has a crush on the dumb obnoxious girl who sits in front of him”
And he reddens and quietly says ‘no’ because he wants to deny it but bITCH ITS TOO LATE YOU CAUGHT ON
So u smirk (for the 17th time) and say “we shall see, Kim Doyoung”
And you leave and he’s like scARED SHITLESS BC HE HAS N O IDEA WTF YOU’RE GONNA DO
Y’all roll up to class the next day all chill, neither of you say anything but he’s watching youuuuu and you’re very aware of it so you’re thinking hmm maybe I’ll tease him a little it’d be fun so you go up to ask the teacher a question and as you’re walking back, everyone’s got their head down working uno, you wink at him cheekily and it sends him fucking wiLD like he jumps in his seat and the person sitting next to him is like bro you good???
So he just has to play it off like oh yeah I just thought I saw a spider
Meidbddhsid you love playing with kdy bc you’RE in control now
You maKE the library thing happen again (basically you just willingly sit next to him) because you wanna see him flustered again like when you winked because it’s funny but like,, also,, kinda cute? Shdidbdj Maybe you kinda like him too?? Shut up no you dONT (u totally do)
The ppl who sit closest to you guys in class have kinda noticed this weird energy where y’all don’t speak but you make a lOT of eye contact so they might perhaps bring it up Doyoung and he’s like “whAT no I just- she’s annoying so I- And the lesson- the, Yeah.”
They just ignore him like fuck it whatever it’s his life
After that class he decides to confront you because he’s a little tired of being teased so he pulls you out of the corridor and into another one after class
He says ‘hey look, yes I like you, I think you’re cute and smart and funny and you might not like me back but I need some kind of answer I’ve been waiting for a while for some kind of answer you know’
Suddenly you feel kinda bad for teasing him for such a long time so you go ‘ugh Kim Doyoung you big dope I might kinda maybe like u too? But idk yet? Plus you know school is really important and idk if either of us have time for a relationship…’ and he nods ‘yeah I understand and you’re right actually, wanna walk to the bus stop together?’
So you do that but you’re both mainly silent, it’s kinda awkward
Next day you take the seat next to him in the library and maybe just maybe your hands touch a little and you end up going to the library together like everyday almost like a study date
You guys don’t speak you just work together quietly next to each other
And then perhaps get some food after
Maybe even watch a movie every now and then
Perhaps kiss a little ;))
You might not have time for a full relationship but what’s wrong with a little fun??
A/N: I might do a little bonus cutesy scene where y’all hold hands in the library and kiss while having a coffee break
Feedback is very much appreciated and welcomed, or even just a reblog💚
Masterlist
Want to read something similar?
#kim doyoung#doyoung#nct#fluff#nct fluff#nct scenario#doyoung scenario#doyoung fluff#nct 127#nct u#kim dongyoung#nct drabble#nct imagines#doyoung drabble#doyoung imagine#doyoung enemies to lovers#nct enemies to lovers#enemies to lovers#nct scenarios#enemies to lovers au#high school au#university au#nct au
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I figured if your bored, can u write fluffy Soriku about Sora being cute and all which Riku finds him amusing yet adorable at the same time? OwO
Hell yeah boo❤️. It'll probably be bad or okay so I'm sorry rkwnqjabwv. I like writing for these 2 but then at the same time it's hard BC...Riku elwjbbs. It's hard to write him properly so if he isn't like he is in the games then I'm sorry rkwnqjabwv. Also Sora may be oblivious to his feelings bC he’s just a little dumb like that XD.
Just had to get that out there in the beginning.
Plus it's irony how I didn't write this until the next day ekwjwhwg. Btw this is as if Sora and Kairi didn’t disappear in KH 3 bc...Fuck that ending. That ending was SAD. Also I can’t remember if Riku stopped sitting on the tree branch bc he came too tall but that was the excuse so my bad fkwnwnwb.
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Riku remembered when they were kids. They would practice fight and Riku would win all the time. Sora would get angry and pout and he couldn't lie...he found the sight adorable. Even back then he loved Sora. He loved him before he even knew what Love was. Whenever Sora would fall asleep on the beach, tiny Riku would pick up tiny Sora and take him back to his house and put him in his bed. He would be snoring and would cling to Riku and he wouldn’t mind one bit. He loved to take care of him because...he loved him. He loved him so much. He would hang out with Kairi every once and awhile but he still loved to be alone with Sora. Especially when they went adventuring.
They went adventuring one time and they found a paupo bush. Riku and Sora were just kids and never had one. Sora looked at it excitedly and went over to it to grab one and ran back to Riku. He looked at Riku with excitement and said, “Why don’t we share it?” Riku stared at him and smiled. “Of course,” he said. He knew of the legend, but didn’t know if Sora did. It was that if two people shared the fruit, then their destinies would be bound for life and that they would never be out of their life. He wanted that. He wanted to be with Sora no matter what. Sora held it up to his face and took a bite of the small fruit and Riku did it at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled. Riku loved the sweet taste and so did Sora. Sora suddenly hugged Riku and he was shocked for a second, but he hugged him back. “Now we won’t be separated!” Riku smiled and kissed the top of his head.
“Yeah, we’ll never be separated.”
Now, years later, Riku and Sora were back on the island. They’d been through so much but they liked to visit from time to time and just relax. Sora was sitting on the tree branch that had the paupo fruit and Riku was standing right next to Sora. They were watching the sunset and just...enjoying each other’s company. “Hey, Riku, why don’t you join me up here?” Riku stopped sitting up there because he became too tall for it. “You know I’m too tall to sit up there,” he said with a smirk. He looked at Sora and saw a sad little frown. “No, please don’t do that. You know that’s my weakness,” thought Riku. Sora being sad was his weakness because he never wanted to see it. He’d do anything to keep him smiling.
“Pleeeasseeee?” Sora said while putting his hand on Rikus shoulder and shaking him back and forth. Riku laughed and put his hand on Soras hand. “Fine,” he said, faking being annoyed. He jumped himself on there and looked at Sora and saw him smiling so hard that his eyes closed. Riku couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face too. God, Sora was so adorable. “You always do this to me,” Riku said, accidentally speaking his thoughts. This caused Riku to widen his eyes and blush a bit. Sora looked at him with his head tilted a bit. “What do you mean?” Riku smiled at his obliviousness. He was so dumb sometimes and he found it adorable and amusing.
He flicked Soras temple with his fingers and Sora little out a little “hey” and laughed. Riku couldn’t help but laugh as well. “You make me always do whatever you want for your happiness,” said Riku, finally opening up to Sora. He was always honest with Sora, never afraid to be honest. But talking about his feelings towards Sora...that was difficult. But, maybe it was time? Sora looked at him and blushed a bit. He moved so he was sitting crossed legged on the tree and facing Riku. “Really? You’d do anything for me?” Sora started to remember what happened at that battle. Well, what did happen but was reversed. Riku gave his life for him. He gave up his light and life by protecting him from the heartless tornado. It still pained him to think about it but seeing Riku here, alive, and being with him made him so happy. Riku blushed and looked at him with a shy look. “Of course I would.” It was even sadder because Riku couldn’t remember it.
Sora blushed and got an idea. He jumped off the branch and walked over to the other side of Riku. He jumped back on and grabbed a paupo fruit. The fruit was sticky but it had a very sweet smell to it. He couldn’t remember if he had one before, but he wanted to share one with Riku. He got cross legged again and put the fruit between them. “I don’t know if we’ve ever shared one, and I want to now,” he said with a blush. He couldn’t look Riku in the eye, he didn’t know why though. He didn’t know why he felt embarrassed to do such things in front of his best friend. Before his mind could spin out of control, Riku sat just like Sora did and grabbed his wrist gently. Sora looked up at him, surprised. Riku led Soras hand to his mouth, and looked him in the eye as he took a small bite out of the paupo fruit.
Riku and Sora had matching blushes on their face. “Your turn,” Riku said, voice soft and shy. Sora looked at Riku like he was in a trance. He shook his head to snap out of it and grabbed a bite as well. The fruit tasted very soft and mushy, but had a very sweet taste to it. It felt sort of familiar, but he knew that he never had one. Or not that he could remember. Sora smiled and looked him in the eyes. “Now we’ll never be apart!” Riku smiled. He saw young Sora in front of him again. He never changed did he? He just remembered how excited he was then and how happy he was now. But he knew he didn’t remember. He smiled inwardly about that. He had the worst memory ever.
The two boys moved so they were still crisscrossed but now facing the sunset. Riku laid his hand on the branch and soon felt warmth. He looked down and noticed that Sora put his hand on top of Rikus. He tensed a bit, not used to the contact. He looked at Sora but Sora wasn’t looking at him. He noticed a blush on his face and he began to blush too. Maybe he had feelings too? He breathed in, sighed, and became less tense. He missed this and enjoyed this. He remembered wanting to leave the island for as long as he can remember. He wanted to get stronger for Sora and Kairi (mainly Sora) to protect them. He got that and now he was excited to be back. Excited to enjoy this sunset again and excited to be back with his best friend. He tightened his hand around Soras and Sora squeezed his hand too. He wanted to say that he loved him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “Maybe another day,” he thought.
“But right now...I just want to enjoy this moment with him.”
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AAAAAAH. I hope you enjoyed this and this is what you wanted! If it’s not then tell me and I’ll retry to do it! It’s like 12:00 PM and I’ve been working on this since like 10:20 fkwnwnwb. I tried to make it long because I love long fics. But not too long. There’s a bunch of little paragraphs bc I didn’t want to make big ones bc there may be people like me out there who lose their places when they read big paragraphs. Ik I do fkwnwnwb. But anyway I hope you liked this!!
And anyone who read this far down, I love you❤️. And even if you didn’t, I still love you❤️. Okay my ask box is open 24/7 y’all and I hope I see you in my ask box again soon boo~.
If you reblog...leave me a nice little tag. I love to see them
#kh#kingdom hearts#riku x sora#sora x riku#soriku#My writing#my writing#aaah these 2 bois#theyre so sweet#and Sora doesnt understand his feelings#that poor boi#but Riku does#(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#anyway#I hope you enjoyed this#leave me a good little tag if you reblog#theyre gay disasters#but I love them#and they love each other#even if Sora is confused fjsjsnw
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fujimi's design is really detailed, i love it! could you do a few asks from your extremely detailed oc ask meme reblog? mainly 3, 11, 14, 13, 14, 17, 27, 49-51, and 53-56! im super interested in where you came up with the inspiration to create such a deep backstory for her!
AHHHHHH thank you so much!!!!!! whbadghsbdadgwv ;;~;; yall make my heart all wibbly when y’all love my girls but anyway! answer under readmore bc it gets long
3. Orientation and Relationship status (single, taken (by who?), crush (on who?))
ahaaaaaaaaaa….. It’s Complicated.
She definitely has a thing with Genichiro but I don’t even know if I’d call it a crush? Maybe back when she first met Genichiro (he was the one who gave her a naginata in the first place) but after all these years….. idk. I feel like having a crush has this sort of pining attached to it that simply isn’t there as she would exist in the game proper because of their lengthy history. The two are thick as thieves though, and honestly…… are basically married just sans a confession or like. Actual Romantic stuff.
As the Bride of Ashina (the….. country, not Genichiro or Isshin LOL) her actual status is a kind of…… nun-like/Jeanne d’Arc type of figure? I mean taking the religious aspect out of it there’s this piety toward her country and because she’s “Ashina’s Bride” that’s “who” she’s committed to, and no other person can encroach upon that union.
Also she does have a complex because she is, well, the vessel of a whole village’s worth of kegare accumulated over generations and is thus “unclean”. Even if Genichiro were to propose marriage, she’d turn it down because she could not bring herself to sully him.
11. Do they have any notable features, like horns, tails, or so on?
Aside from being Very Albino……. not usually. Certain actions taken in the fake Black Mortal Blade DLC can put her on one of two paths - one where she remains a vessel for kegare, and one where she is purified. Purified, she is able to call upon Benzaiten for help, and while it is up to the goddess to answer that call, if she does respond, Fujimi has a whopping 8 whole entire arms and is a Giant Woman.
Corrupted… Well her corrupted form isn’t just corrupted by kegare, but the cycle of war, and a big thing is the exploration of one of my favorite quotes “When desire is stripped of its humanity… all that remains is war.” and so it’s also accumulation of desire. And, when this transformation takes place, it’s at a time where desire hangs thick in the air - “I don’t want to die” “Please, someone save me” “I want to kill them all” “Someone, please avenge me” “Someone, please save Ashina”. Hundreds of voices all ringing out with that sentiment……. And she, as the Vessel, bears them all upon her body to sooth their souls. But there’s only so much even someone built for containing that much rage, hatred, corruption, anguish can hold……. It overflows, overflows, spilling out, and turns her into a monster……… From her hips down, her body is that of a serpent’s, her skin patched with scales, with four arms, mouth split at the sides allowing her to unhinge her jaw like a snake, with hooked teeth
though the hooked teeth and mouth split can also occur for a certain ritual….. More or less, the curse of Ayame village can be bestowed upon an outsider via the Gatekeeper. Obviously, Fujimi can’t normally do this, but by devouring her sister’s still-beating heart, she gets a single “charge” of that power.
13. Have any kids?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh not………. in the main game. or dlc. but endings……….. well. thinking emoji
14. Can they cook? Can they bake?
She can cook very well! Come with the territory of being trained to be a wife.
17 Can they fight?
Already answered here!
27. What’s their family like? Who’s in it? What’s their relationship with them?
The people of Ayame village tend to live slightly longer (natural) lifespans than normal humans (it’s that good good cursed blood). Her family before she was sent off consisted of her great grandmother, grandparents, parents, and sister. Her great grandmother was the previous Gatekeeper…… As evidenced by the other details of her childhood, her family is Not Great. She barely remembers her parents - in her memory they exist only as voices, ghosts looming over her shoulder, watching her advances in various skills with a careful eye. She…… had a good relationship with her sister before she left since she and one other were the only children who would play with her in the village (bc of her spiritual uncleanliness), and she would sometimes sibling swap with her sister, but as detailed here, that good relationship is not reciprocated any longer
49. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?
Kegare, duality/mirrors/mirroring, the intersection of divine/holy and sin/corruption, monstrosity vs. humanity, wearing masks/acting in a role, cycles of death/war/fate, desire as war
50. What are some motifs associated with your character?
Snakes or other serpentine patterns, water especially the sea, irises, wisteria, indigo…… I think that’s it?
51. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?
Already answered here!
53. Expectations vs Reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?
Expectation: I wanted a character that I could use to explore the more supernatural elements of Sekiro, as well as a side of “they gave me so much bride imagery and lore but no bride so I am going to give them Genichiro’s a bride”
Reality: my bride now
no but really………. I guess there were no expectations to break because I didn’t really have a clear image of her when I started. I wanted someone who would allow me to play in this world, and I guess how I wanted to play shaped who she is. I suppose, if anything, I didn’t expect her individual pieces to end up lining up and clicking into place as easily as it did concerning lore details?
I guess I also didn’t expect to love her this much……. I often create OCs to understand a world I dearly love better, and that’s how I interact with it (I did this with KH, Monogatari series, and others) but the fact I’ve never shown them off tells you exactly how much I care about them. It’s not that I don’t work hard on them, but I work hard crafting, figuring them out, figuring all the pieces that fit, but once I’m done and satisfied with everything, they sit on a shelf collecting dust because they’ve done what they came here to do. Madora is special because she’s different in that I never tire of thinking about her. Fujimi is shaping up to be the same way - she’s a bit of a special case because I love Sekiro so much I don’t want to change the ending and there’s not much for her after the ending, but I still like thinking of AUs, detailing her time before the fall of Ashina, etc.
In a sense I think the greatest surprise is how much I ended up liking her.
54. What does your character want, and what do they need?
Mmmmm. This is gonna sound weird but. What she wants is to die. I don’t think she’s actively suicidal or depressed or anything like that but….. There’s certain parts of her that long for death. Death because she was meant to die at 8 anyway. Death because it’s what’s needed to ensure the safety of her village. Death because she forsook her duty and in turn, her village. Death because there is a part of her buried deep down inside that knows she isn’t human and she sees people like Genichiro and Gyoubu and the Ashina troops willing to lay down their lives for Ashina, to shed their humanity to protect it, and she wants that, wants to shine as brilliantly as those humans, rushing to their deaths with their fragile bodies, do.
What she needs is…… to live. She was given and continues (due to various circumstances) to be given a new lease on life. She tethers herself to things to die for so she doesn’t need to think about how to live - she only needs to think about how she will die. But she needs to learn to untether herself, and face the terrifying reality of being alive. In a sense, she needs to learn to surrender.
55. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? When happens when these all interact with each other?
Already answered here!
56. What’s your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?
As stated before, the only goal was to explore The Lore. As for a happy ending....... aha. Is that really possible when she’s team Ashina......? Well. I actually planned out alternate endings depending on player choice in the Black Mortal Blade DLC I’ve been planning :3
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concert mum friend advice:
okay for real though, if there’s one place where I turn into the mum friend of a group, it’s a concert. I’ve been to a few during my time including a couple of local shows, so here’s some concert mum friends advice:
•HYDRATION: you know what I’m buying first? a bottle of water. so that myself and whoever I go with don’t have to fight through the crowd to get to the free water (if the venue provides some, which they should do) during a set. always stay hydrated y’all and I’ll be your hydration station after your first drink of the night (like a cider or a beer or whatever).
the short of it: always buy a bottle of water first before entering a show. you might look like a bit of dickhead (especially at an over 18s show in australia where the first orders are obvs something alcoholic) but it saves a fuck load of time having your own water bottle and it’s always good to be hydrated in a stifiling hot and sweaty venue. it also saves battling it out for a cup of free water at the barriers if you’re in the front row.
•BAGS/BACKPACKS: ’yall need somewhere to put the jacket that you brought with you to wait outside the venue? or to put your new merch that you just bought? didn’t bring a bag to put your wallet or phone in? no worries, put it in my bag.
or in general, always take your own backpack or small shoulder bag if you want to keep your stuff safe, ladies. unless the venue has a no bag policy or something odd like that, then don’t. if you’re lucky enough to have pockets somewhere on you, use those. (also if this fails use your bra girls). if the venue has a cloak room I suppose leave your stuff in there, but remember to pick it up after the show.
•FOOTWEAR: the shoes I’m wearing? safe, secure and comfortable footwear like converses or flat boots.
honestly though, this one took me two concerts in high school (ATL and amity affliction in 2009) of wearing ballet flats that were too big for me, to learn. chasing my shoes around all night was not a fun part of the experience lol. if you’re going to punk or metal shows, the crowd will get rough and you can easily lose a shoe during the show. this mostly applies if you’re in the mosh pit or close to it or stage diving/crowd-surfing. also good footwear keeps your feet safe from people stepping on them lol.
but i guess the same goes for any concert though. always wear good footwear that will last out the night and won’t strain your legs if it’s a mostly standing room only venue.
(like they’ll obvs have seats somewhere if it’s a bar/good concert venue/an arena etc etc. but the area in front of the stage is largely/generally standing room only in some venues most of the time depending where it’s at. also you might want to stand in your spot all night so that you don’t lose it (this applied to me back in high school bc i always stood in the front row with my friends), so it’s like 4-5 solid hours worth of standing.) again I repeat, always wear good, comfortable shoes.
there’s a lot more I could say about shoes, but I’ll keep it at this mini essay.
•CLOTHING: generally since I’ve been going to punk shows, I always wear jeans or shorts with a shirt. so if I try and crowd surf or something, I don’t flash people. lmao. and generally that’s largely the style of the scene anyway. and they’re some of the sweatiest shows tbh hahaha. but wear what you feel comfortable with.
I guess all I can say is maybe wear something that isn’t skin tight/body con (except for skinny jeans if it’s a punk show, never forget) in such a crowded room. I’ve done this a couple of times and it wasn’t the best idea bc it’s impossible to cool off comfortably during the show and after it.
honestly, band shirts are generally some of the best things to wear during shows, especially if they’re unisex sizing... which most of them generally are bc they’re usually loose. a lot of them are sold in “youth size” (and unisex like I said above) which teenage me took to mean teenage size. but now I think youth size actually means someone in their 20s bc all of those band shirts that i bought at shows in HS fit me now, whereas at ages 13-18 they were literally down to my knees, almost dress length in size lmao.)
I know that all of these sound like obvious common sense things.... but if you’re just starting out with going to concerts in your teens, I hope this was helpful.
to end, this has been some advice from a concert mum friend. have a good time staying safe at concerts y’all. for other older concertgoers, feel free to reblog and add your own advice!
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