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#I'm attached to this idea

scrivellc · 5 months

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Deep in my feels about Alive!Verse Orin and Audrey and their weird potential as exes who have to keep interacting with each other because I've decided Jason still exists in this AU, and Orin wants to be involved in his son's life, and Audrey is tentatively okay with this as long as Orin is kept on a short leash and is not allowed in her home. There's just so much meat there. Also the idea of Orin finally taking time to deal with his shit after almost dying and being dumped for the guy who only decided not to let him die at the last second. He's reading self help books and maybe going to a lil therapy and trying to figure out what kind of a dad he wants to be but also he's not the one who's "dad" to Jason most of the time and he feels more like an uncle to his own kid. And he's reconnecting with some old friends maybe since he knows he really can't rely on Audrey and her family for support since he knows he fucked up bad with her and just hopes to at least come to a truce at some point. And who knows? Maybe eventually he'll be allowed to go in the house but he's on thin ice and Audrey let's him know it which like, totally very fair. But it's a work in progress and they have so much history and a kid so they can never totally divorce themselves from each other even though they both understand they are never going to be a thing again. And Jason is just excited to have twice the amount of dads, one of which is very invested to making sure he sees him as fun and a positive presence.

#Orin is attempting to figure out who he is as a person at like 37 so this may take some work lol #And he's doing a lot if self reflecting and wow! This makes him feel awful! But well...makes sense people would want him dead #But by some grace he was spared and also hey guess what you also have a kid you'll only be marginally involved with #And how does that mesh with his desire to do better than his own dad #And also maybe actually opening up to Audrey a bit now that he's actually dealing with his emotions #Not like anything romantic but just trying to do right by her #And maybe even apologizing at some point!#Trying to get into her good graces both because he knows she deserves better and also so he can keep seeing his kid #I'm rambling but ya know #I'm attached to this idea #(Outta Skid Row) OOC

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aromantic-diaries · 10 months

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I remember when JaidenAnimations released her coming out video and I watched it, related to Almost Everything She Said and KNOWING I relate. And still going Ah my many experiences COINCIDENTALLY overlapping with that of many aromantic and asexual individuals is nothing to think about I am Most Certainly Bisexual

#aro #aromantic #arospec #ace #asexual #acespec #so um. younger and dumber me kinda latched onto the idea of being bisexual. i guess i was searching for some kind of identity #i got really attached to that label okay. not even actually wanting to date or have sex jusg The Idea™ of being bisexual #which is probably why i'm still drawn to bi musicians like a moth to the flame #but yeah that and my internalized arophobia which was a beast

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etherfall · 2 months

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do u think u can draw a smol boi n and alder?

Not sure if I interpreted this correctly, but here's a little AU where Alder finds & adopts N instead of Ghetsis!

#digital art #n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #unova #pokemon #pokemon fanart #pokemon black and white #pokemon bw #n pokemon #pokemon alder #alder pokemon #Honestly I'm kind of getting attached to this idea #alderadoptsnau

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omgahgase · 1 year

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au where ellie is somehow dropped into space with din and grogu, and joel is left on earth losing his fucking mind. he'd tear through the entire continent looking for her, y'all thought the hospital was bad? no, he's fucking up every single state only for din to find him, probably rampaging through tennessee. joel would, obviously, be super fucking wary of the n-1 fighter bc?? hello?? it's a damn spaceship?? but then he sees ellie in the passenger pod, pressing her face against the glass and screaming, "JOEL! I'M IN A FUCKING SPACESHIP! JOEL LOOK! I'M! IN! A! SPACESHIP!!"

din would hop out, blaster leveled at joel's head, exactly like how joel is pointing his shotgun at him, and all din says is, "please take your kid back. she's teaching my son weird words."

ellie, who pops her head out of the cockpit. "joel! isn't this fucking cool?" grogu, who appears on her shoulders, "fuck!"

#the last of us #tlou #joel miller #ellie williams #the mandalorian #grogu #din djarin #din and grogu #star wars #i'm so attached to this idea #grogu and ellie would be best friends #din and joel would try to kill each other #but they make up and everything's fine in the end

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sherlock-is-ace · 9 months

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So, @five-potatoes-high and I galaxy brained and decided the 15th Doctor should have a fish companion...

Let me introduce you to The Fish (they/them) 🧡

If you’d like, you can support me on Ko-Fi! ☕

#doctor who #15th doctor #this was supposed to be a silly sketch but it took hold of me #if 15 even interacts with a fish in his series i will go insane... i'm too attached to this idea now kdjfgfdg #my art #no longer signing it as senta on tumblr but gonna tag it for old times sake #senta art #doctor who fanart #ncuti gatwa

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nicercymybeloved · 3 months

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Very attached to the idea that if Percy had been a woman she would have been named Ariadne. Like, I know that Persephone is a popular fanon name for female Percy because it's a nice way to keep her nickname. I've also seen Andromeda used by some because she lives a long life with Perseus in the myths. But Sally would have at least considered it right? Because Ariadne's a popular female figure in mythology, linked to both Theseus and Dionysus, two other famous figures in mythology. She was a clever mortal princess who was dealt a bad hand because her father's arrogance allowed him to think that he could get away with defying a god, just like how Poseidon's arrogance allowed him to think that he could get away with breaking the pact he made with Zeus and Hades. And in the end, Ariadne survived both her family's legacy and Theseus's abandonment, becoming Dionysus's immortal wife in both the PJO universe and in many retellings of the myth of the Minotaur and Theseus in real life. Ariadne got to live out her happy ending just like how Perseus did in mythology, which is the main reason why Sally even gave Percy the name Perseus to begin with. Am I delusional to think that Sally would have given a female Percy the name Ariadne? Who the fuck knows. But I'm so attached to the idea that it literally just supersedes any other name I could have come up with

#if i am just let me believe. i'm just very attached to the idea of little 12 year old ariadne “ari” jackson meeting mr. d and being like #'wow. this is the husband of the woman i'm named after. why couldn't the gods at least let me think he was attractive'#'because dear god the way he's presenting himself is such a let down. ariadne girl i am questioning your taste'#oh my god percy would so drag this man and mentally just question everything when he finally brings homegirl up in titan's curse #also this may or may not be related to the lesbian nicercy canon divergent fic i'm constantly just writing in my mind #already re-imagined their interactions at percy's birthday so many times and god its so romantic in my head #pjo #female percy jackson #percy jackson #lesbian nicercy canon divergent au #yuri's ideas

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pianokantzart · 3 months

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Speaking of the mysterious Destiny Del Vecchio from high school, what are your thoughts on the theory that she could be the movieverse’s Princess Daisy?

Funny you should mention that...

______

Luigi followed the princess down the pier, hands clasped nervously in front of him as he tried to keep a respectful distance. He was unsure what to say, where to begin. He knew if he and Destiny ever came across each other again things would be a little different… …but not this different. “Destiny, I-”

“Ah ah ah! It’s Daisy now!” the princess corrected, still carrying a tiny hint of that thick Brooklyn accent.

“... Daisy,” Luigi corrected himself. “I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you back there, I-” “Hey! It’s been seven years, hasn’t it?” Daisy assured, arms spread wide in a friendly gesture, “Besides, I’ll bet this is the last place you expected to run into an old classmate, eh?”

“No kidding.” Luigi rubbed the back of his neck. “But it’s not just that… it’s... well, if you’d told me back then that you were going to grow your hair out, wear dresses, and change your name back to ‘Daisy,’ I’d have thought you were teasing me.” Luigi hoped she didn’t take offense in the observation. She didn’t. Daisy let out a laugh; that loud, hearty, genuine laugh that Luigi so greatly admired. “‘You disappointed?” “No no no! Just surprised! You look good!... you look really good.” Luigi emphasized his admiration in almost a whisper, reexamining his old crush in the flattering golden light of sunset that made her flowery dress and thick auburn hair shimmer like the ocean waves behind her. “I’m just wondering why.”

“C’mon Luigi, I’m no psychologist! I just like what I like when I like it, y’know?” Luigi suspected there was more to it than that. He allowed a silence to rest between them, giving Daisy time to ruminate before she, inevitably, kept talking. “I dunno, back in our world I felt like I had to carve away every girly part of me to get any sort of respect. I guess I worried so much about not being stereotyped that I wasn’t ever truly myself, y’know?”

Luigi nodded. He suspected as much. He understood the feeling of being perceived as something lesser the instant he showed any hint of being soft and feminine. They somewhat understood each other in that sense... it was part of how Luigi recognized her strong love for flowers, despite her efforts to bury it beneath black leather, metal spikes and loose fitting flannel. Back then, he had taken up a habit of handing her little bunches of sill-grown asters (in secret, of course, so as not to ruin her image.) When his little porch garden wasn’t in bloom, it was home made treats instead... muffins, cupcakes, and cookies, wrapped in cellophane or parchment paper. Daisy's sweet tooth was something she couldn’t keep secret if she wanted to, so she attempted to put a punk rock spin on it– holding lollipops in her teeth like cigarettes and sticking chewed gum to the lockers of anyone she didn’t like. Baked goods she ate with an aggressiveness that was almost comical, baring her teeth and biting down hard, like there was some sort of inherent, mockable "softness" in the simple act of eating a muffin. She never told Luigi “thank you” for these gifts, but always plucked them eagerly from his hand whenever they were offered. She was the type who would say it if she didn’t want something, loud and proud, so Luigi was fairly confident that his efforts were appreciated. In return, on the rare occasions Mario wasn’t by his side, Destiny Del Vecchio was there, feeding him compliments and threatening anyone who looked at him wrong with a swift trip to the emergency room. Luigi kicked his feet as he reminisced, a small blush spreading across his face. “You seem to be really happy here.”

“Mmmhm,” Daisy assented with a nod. Before anything else could be said, she doubled back and took Luigi by the arm, hurriedly ushering him in another direction. “C’mon!” She cheered, “There’s a great patisserie near the docks! You can show them how to make a proper Italian cream cake, I’ve been craving those bad boys since the day I got here!”

Luigi couldn’t help the large smile that crept across his face. So she did like them! She never said so before... Luigi straightened his cap with his free hand as he hurried to keep up with the excited princess. “Yes, your highness!” he said in a teasing tone, earning him a lighthearted nudge from his old friend.

“Ooh, none of that you big goofball!” she chided with an equally lighthearted giggle. “To you, it’s just Daisy.”

#so all in all yes #I'm a fan of that theory #and I have quite a few ideas attached to that theory #my writing #luaisy #destiny del vecchio #askbox #anon #Luigi #Super Mario Bros #Super Mario Brothers

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ursafootprints · 6 months

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One of my favorite things about Starker as a ship is how many angles there are to approach the ship from! We've got:

Light: minimal to no age-gap angst or drama, no one has a major issue with the relationship, healthy relationship, usually of-age Peter

Gray: moderate to heavy age-gap angst or drama, other characters concerned about the relationship (or it's expected that they would be,) may or may not be presented as ultimately healthy but it's at least a consideration to the characters because they'd like to be healthy

Dark: we all know what darkfic is lmao. Your grooming fics, your villain AUs, most Starkercest though some of those can ride the gray~dark line, outright unhealthy dynamics or your unrepentant characters/settings where the question of "healthy" doesn't even enter into the equation, etc. etc. etc.

They are all beautiful flavors and I've written for all of them, but I'm curious about y'all! Obviously the lines here can be a bit blurry/subjective, but in general if you had to choose:

#starker #polls #now that the poll has gotten off the ground and I'm not worried about influencing results:#I genuinely enjoy all of these flavors but gray is the juiciest to me #esp. for plotty stuff though my taste can run darker for PWP and short plotty things #like I'd classify YNYD as gray and my Starkercest as dark!#but I live for everyone being emotionally conflicted and having to navigate a billion different emotions and dynamics #so even with darkfic I prefer Still That but on the outright unhealthy end #I read and enjoy darkfic that's full unrepentant and gleeful in its darkness but writing-wise I wanna Grapple #and then I love reading light stuff but most of my ideas in that area are like. post-YNYD stuff haha.#so still attached to that gray-er base!

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sentientsky · 4 months

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Crowley + Attachment Style

I was talking to @actual-changeling the other day about attachment styles, and they confirmed my idea that Crowley is, contrary to popular belief, not someone with an anxious attachment style. Rather, like Aziraphale, he exhibits signs of a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style (just in a slightly different and less obvious way). I’ve had this draft kicking around since September (??? October?? time is an illusion), so enjoy my silly (not-so-little) ramblings. TW // discussion of child abuse (not explicit) Okay, I've seen a couple of discussions surrounding this (cue me doing a frantic, sleep-deprived Tumblr Literature Review approx. five minutes ago), so this is just me tossing two pennies into a fountain, shrugging, and walking away. I totally see how Crowley could be interpreted as having an anxious attachment style. At the same time, as someone with a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style (thanks, dad! <3), I believe there's space to explore that as a possibility.

My credentials, you ask?? Decades of trauma and an intimate knowledge of what it's like to have a disorganized attachment style (I'm WORKING ON IT, okay?? lol). Also a fuckton of research. All sources will be linked because I am a professional (<- LYING). Okay, so let's do a quick crash course on attachment theory as a concept itself, and then shift into manifestations of disorganized attachment style (I'm going to call it "DAS" for short bc I'm tired). I'm doing this as a formality, because let's be honest. Would you be in this fandom without having had experienced at least some measure of childhood trauma? What is Attachment Theory? (source) "Attachment theory, in developmental psychology, [is] the theory that humans are born with a need to form a close emotional bond with a caregiver and that such a bond will develop during the first six months of a child’s life if the caregiver is appropriately responsive." There are a variety of attachment styles, each of which differently predicts how an individual will react in interpersonal situations according to how they were raised. While there are, obviously, further nuances to this, a core group of four feature most prominently:

Let's go deeper. What does it mean to have a DAS? In short, a DAS (also known as "fearful-avoidant attachment style") often comes about as a result of childhood abuse. The child relies upon the caregiver to ensure their (the child's) survival. However, when the parent is abusive (physically, emotionally, verbally, etc.), this obviously poses a threat to the wellbeing of the child. So they develop this deep-rooted sense of distrust and fear. It helps me to think of it as a flame: you want to be warmed by the heat of the fire, but if you get too close, you'll get burnt. Consequently, you're trapped in this wavering "too close", "too far" situation. One of the best explanations I've read with regards to DAS is from this source:

Separation and abandonment (though most likely to produce an organized form of attachment, such as anxious or avoidant) can lead to the establishment of a DAS:

(source) After experiencing abuse and abandonment in Heaven, and again as a Fallen angel, Crowley has, like Aziraphale, been exposed to conditions that would create this particular attachment style (for a further explanation of Aziraphale's DAS, see this post). However, as I mentioned in the above linked post,

In contrast, Crowley has a more nuanced, consequentialist view of morality. Having Fallen, having intimately known the depths of what both Heaven and Hell are capable of (e.g., his time in Hell post-1827), he isn't living with this unpredictable "parent"--he solidly understands that the existing system is fundamentally wrong.

At times, he does experience what appears to be ambivalence (or, more likely, a sense of deep-rooted loss and abandonment):

However, the Final Fifteen emphasizes that this lingering mindset is overridden by the acknowledgment of an innately harmful structure:

Having established this, what does Crowley's DAS look like + how does it differ from Aziraphale's? Well, in my research, I would posit "compulsive caregiving" plays a role. Compulsive Caregiving What is "compulsive caregiving"? It's a form of DAS that emerges as a result of specific developmental conditions. Having their needs (or QUESTIONS) ignored or else punished by a caregiver, a child may learn to "never ask for anything", and instead care for others, often sacrificing their own wellbeing/needs for the sake of the other party (see further explanations below).

(Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4)

Here, we can see how Crowley might fall into the category of "compulsive care-giving". Both he and Azi try to protect each other to a severe degree, but Crowley's compulsivity might be a bit more apparent in this regard. He's learned not to ask for the things he wants (avoidant manifestation), but he also feels a desperate need to prove himself and protect Aziraphale through compulsive caregiving (anxious manifestation). It's only with his back pressed against the figurative wall in the Final Fifteen (or on the brink of Armageddon in season 1) that he is able to say it plainly. The Push-And-Pull of DAS As has been discussed so many times previously, this idea of ambivalence also features prominently in the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale themselves. There's a constant push-and-pull in their dynamic, as evidenced below: Aziraphale refers to him as a friend, he compliments him, exists in close quarters with him, etc...

But he also pushes Crowley away and consistently reiterates the categorical black-and-white thinking of Heaven/Hell.

[Disclaimer: I acknowledge that this wavering attitude, while infuriating and unfair to Crowley, is also largely as a result of religious trauma; Aziraphale needs some serious therapy. As we see exhibited throughout the Final Fifteen, Aziraphale still believes that Heaven is, fundamentally, good (or at least holds the capacity to become good). This doesn't negate the fact that he loves Crowley, but it does impact the way he views the two of them and their relationship, causing a significant strain and eventual break in their bond].

So we have the root, we have the manifestations within the other party, but how does this DAS figure within Crowley's character itself? Manifestations of DAS in Adulthood

Speaking from personal experience, DAS can manifest in adult life in several ways. In the present day, I tend to (But not always! I'm getting better, lol) attach myself to people who are touch-and-go; who variously show me affection and disinterest (*cough cough* my ex-bsf). Often, when I felt like the other person was pulling away/withdrawing, I would also pull away. Because my caregivers flipped between rage and calm, venom-spitting hatred and comforting affection very, very quickly and very, very easily, I had to constantly be on edge, anticipating my next move and ready to go into resolution/fawning mode ("compulsive caretaking") at the drop of a hat. And that notion of push-and-pull, "never really knowing where you stand" is what I grew up thinking of as love. This pulling away in the face of perceived rejection can also point to issues with self-esteem...

SIDEBAR: CROWLEY AND SELF-ESTEEM The way Crowley is written with regards to his trauma responses is so interesting and also so real to me. We have this entity who has spent the better part of six thousand years (likely more, because we don't have a definitive timeline for the Fall) believing he is so thoroughly and utterly unwanted as to be pushed to the underbelly of the Universe, hidden away amongst sulphur and agony and absence.

Speaking as someone with ah...childhood...uh. issues (sure, let's call it that. why not?), after being told that you are disgusting, horrible, unworthy, etc. so many times, you begin to believe it. And because, as children, we're forced to rely on primary caregivers, often the only way to maintain that connection lies in the internalization of that unworthiness, to the point where it's difficult to separate you from these ideas of worthlessness. And because you've experienced it so consistently throughout your life, you also come to anticipate rejection; you look for it everywhere, feeling as though it's right around the corner. Therefore, to kind of pre-emptively avoid emotional harm (or because you feel unworthy of asking for more or for reassurance), you cauterize the figurative wound and pull away. We'll come back to this idea in a couple moments! Returning to the main point, let's look at these markers of a DAS more broadly:

(source)

Let's go through each of these, step-by-step. Again, remember, not all of these symptoms have to be present all of the time. These are the ones I see most prominently in Crowley (of course, please, please, please feel free to correct me or build on this! i'm in NO way an expert).

"You find it difficult to open up to others" + "You tend to keep conversations on the surface level because it's uncomfortable to be vulnerable"

"You have a negative self-view of both yourself and others" (mostly himself, in this case!)

"You often dissociate from your emotions" + "You withdraw when you feel vulnerable or emotional" For this one, I'm just going to invite you to read Alex's post here. They phrase it better than I ever could, lol.

SIDEBAR #2: Withdrawal + Good Omens Lockdown @yowlthinks also made an excellent point regarding something i said here. In the Good Omens Lockdown audio clip, we notice Crowley pushing the boundary line, forthrightly offering to come over to the bookshop and stay for a while at the height of the pandemic (see below):

When Aziraphale outright rejects him, Crowley recoils and quickly says goodbye, intending to set his alarm for July. Here, we see the way in which disorganized attachment operates as a fusion of both anxious and avoidant behaviours; despite wanting to be close, he pulls back immediately and (presumably) resolves not to discuss the fact that he lost his flat and is now sleeping in his Bentley. (As my former philosophy professors have tried to impress upon me so many times,) It's important we consider alternative explanations. It could be possible that this is just him respecting Aziraphale's boundaries and returning to practices that seek to remedy the whole "you go too fast for me" issue. However, this kind of behaviour occurs time and time again, establishing a pattern that goes beyond simply protecting Azi's boundaries, and may index a desire to keep himself safe through emotional avoidance. "You have a hard time self-soothing your emotions" [insert lightning scene here]. He's trying, you guys. He's trying so hard, but it's difficult (and i'd genuinely like to get a scene in s3 where he's allowed to be well and truly angry. no, i'm totally not projecting, why do you ask? what are u, a cop???)! It seems that he turns to repression in the absence of actual emotional processing or soothing (until it comes out all at once, in the case of the lightning). This makes sense, as well, considering there have been very few instances in which he's been truly comforted or soothed by others. Not having comfort modelled to him, combined with his pre-existing low self-esteem helps to illuminate why he turns to repression opposed to taking time to care for himself, etc. Broader Implications + S3 Speculation Alright, we're almost done, I promise! So we've established (or at the very least, put forth an argument for) disorganized attachment in Anthony Janthony Crowley. What does this mean in the context of where we left things off at the end of S2? From my perspective, it means that what happened was completely in-character for both of them. Aziraphale's DAS manifests in more of the traditional, hot-and-cold fearful-avoidance. For Crowley, his caretaking compulsivity finally snapped in the Final Fifteen; Heaven is one place he cannot follow, and exhausted, he walks away (only to stand out on the street, further pointing to the anxious/avoidant duality). I would argue that there was no trick, nothing in the coffee, no coded messages, etc. Rather, like humans, they are both shaped by their trauma and responded in accordance with this. (@actual-changeling has some excellent metas where they further expand on the idea that there was no trick involved in the final fifteen: x. this meta too!: x. massive credit to them, as always hehe)

What about in S3? Speaking from personal experience (because the surrounding literature wasn't super helpful haha), a disorganized attachment style must be unlearned, with a few key factors at play: Since DAS is grounded in formative experiences of volatility, the survival of the individual has to be decoupled from the preservation of connection (with family members, partners, friends, etc.); more specifically, your worth and ability to persist is not dependent on maintaining connection with another. This is incredibly difficult to unlearn when you've experienced it for a couple decades, let alone so many thousands of years. t h e r a p y (pls neil, i need an episode where it’s just Crowley going to see a psychiatrist and he breaks down crying and it’s like “oh yeah. that was really fucked up what happened to me”. again. totally not projecting! <- as always, don’t actually send stuff like this to Neil). Okay, finally. We're at the end. I apologize for the sheer length of this analysis. I had to cut it off here, because the original was going to be wayyyyy longer with more discussion/analysis/etc. However. I am TIRED. So here you go! ✨TaH DaH! ✨ (please don't yell at me ajsdlasjkd. i love azi and crowley both so much and this is just my own interpretation/opinion as someone with a disorganized attachment style lol)

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tiny-chubby-bird · 5 months

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So like a normal person I got kind of curious and looked at the names of the petrified drow so I could try looking for possible name meanings, but I'm no drow expert. I could only look at the Drow Names site and hope for any similarities. These are my best guesses:

Dhourn (Dhaun: infested, plague. Houn: magic, trail, way)

Izwae (izz: hidden, mask, masked. Wae: heir, inheritor, princess)

Moy (May: beautiful, beauty, silver. Mol: blue, storm, thunder, wind. oj: aura, cloak, hide, skin)

Arcagh (word arc: curve, bow. Akor/Alak: beloved, best, first. agh: breaker, destruction, end, omega)

Tecothy (like Timothy? Teb: blade, sharp, sword)

Artimezt (Inspired by Artemis maybe? zt: finder, hunter)

Important to note that some of the similar words/names I found and used here are the feminine versions, and I remember seeing a detailed post somewhere in which someone took Kar'niss' name and tried to translate it, in which they also mentioned what it means if a male drow uses a feminine name version, but I forgot...

#drowposting #bg3 drow #dnd drow #my personal favourite has to be arcagh #that's a great name lmao #like gagging and exclaiming “argh!”#i rlly wanna write a fic with these guys some day :(#no idea what but i'm kinda getting attached #why am i always like this #i always pick out some npcs that barely have any lines or info about them #and then get sorta obsessed #maybe because it's fun to interpret?#like it's fun to take a character with barely any info and just make up your own shit based on the little info you have #anyway i'm super normal about this

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