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ay0nha · 6 months

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LIFE IS BUT A DREAM | SHANKS (OPLA)

SUMMARY: You had done unspeakable things, figuring it was an acceptable way to siphon your affection. You were young and blinded by false idolization. Shanks chose to see the best in you, even now, even after everything. He, too, was blinded by an image of you that hadn’t changed since you were young.

PAIRING: OPLA!Shanks x f!reader (Gold D. Roger's daughter)

WORDS COUNT: 3K~

WARNINGS: canon-typical things, enemies to lovers, jail, talk of death and things related, morally grey reader, ANGST, RUSHED ending, flowery language, injuries, blood, murder, random ocs (aka fictional villains inserts), idk really what the plot is besides just straight angst lol, etc.

A/N: I got a couple of Shanks requests, so I combined them all as they were very similar. Thank you SO much to @wood-white-writer for inspiring my reader and helping me along, and @togenabi for entertaining my rambling! I'm begging you to go check out their fics because they are *divine*. Enjoy.

The waves that thrust against the coast lulled you into a meditative state. It made the time pass with uncertainty. Even the briny smell of the warm breeze cradled you in a way that pulled the weight from your shoulders.

You never thought jail to be so idyllic.

It was tempting to postpone your escape for a bit longer; there were only so many opportunities to stretch your spine and rest. Yet, your left eye twitched, warning you your premonition was soon to be true.

It was on the simpler side, a vision of dark shadows intentionally elusive. The bars that separated you from the world were bent, promising damage from the strength that wasn’t your own. You knew he was coming. It was sooner than you thought, but you learned long ago that your foresight would never be reliable.

It favored him over you.

When you were younger, you thought you were crazy, seeing apparitions or former lives. However, as years passed, familiar faces began to fill your vision, showing truths you became excited to fulfill. But they became warped with opposing desires and reverberating fear wreathed with vindication.

It made things sour and sore. It allowed trouble to seek you out just to be ill-prepared for your counter. It wasn’t bravery that energized you, nor was it skill. Pure spite drove you to be the worst of all.

“On your feet.”

The serenity you had slipped through your fingers like warm sand. The guard repeated his command, using force to pull at the chains connecting your limbs. You couldn’t help but smile at what he thought was a punishment.

“Rumor has it, you’re hot shit.” The guard scoffed, voice echoing the dripping hallways. The way he trailed your body exposed his lust. “They’re not wrong by the looks of it…”

The guard’s weak come-ons warbled in your ears like a white noise. You used the moment to fulfill a repeated daydream. That liminal space presented your strength as you pulled your chains around the guard’s neck until there was no longer resistance.

The conversations were typically cyclical, feigned disinterest to disguise the anxiety your proximity created or those whose egos convinced they could charm you. You stopped paying attention to the rumors the more embellished they became. To some, you were a mercenary; to others, a frenzied psychopath.

The only truth they held was how deliberately unrestrained you were willing to be. There was no rhyme or reason behind it; at least you were close to convincing yourself of that. Regardless, it had gotten you far, the only thing you’d even consider reliable.

“You hear something?” The guard perked, pulling you harshly toward him. How brave of him to use me as a shield, you thought. Your attention returned when it sounded again, “Shit!—

The bang was loud—time had bested you.

You were lucky to recognize the canon’s whistle and use the commotion to regain an advantage. The current reality had yet to become your destiny. If you moved quickly enough, you wouldn’t have to catch your death in such a dilapidated place.

Maneuvering your body unnaturally, you felt for the knife hidden on your thigh. The guard was panicking despite training not to split on whether to keep his eyes on you or the trouble you unknowingly caused.

Using his momentary stupor, your chains wrapped tightly around his throat. It was better than any dream to feel the way the air caught in his body, never to be released. Any lingering struggle stopped when your knife found an artery.

The blood sputtered, feeling warm against your hands. It was messy, but its carnality evoked an almost erotic sensation that was inimitable. Plenty felt power connected to the strength it took to take away something vital. It corrupted them and blinded them from the true potentiality of the action.

It made life seem like nothing more than overflowing fragility. It was well-known time with the world and sea was limited, and eventually, everyone would end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. There was a purposeful lack of originality there solely due to fear of change.

Yet, when one danced with death, you became the music.

You wiped your fingers across your neck, rubbing the tight knots that met at your shoulders. The fresh blood would stain your skin, but you craved a performance. You readied yourself for the approaching marine boots. The staging was almost too believable, but every second was convincing.

“Fuck. Fuck—” The words tumbled from your quivering lip. You couldn’t think of anything else, repeating the curse. You smeared the blood on your shirt, a mindless move to rid yourself of taking someone’s life. “Help me, please. This man—I don’t—he came after me—the others are still back there, they’ll be here any moment—I didn’t know what to do—

“Still with the theatrics, eh?”

Your crocodile tears ceased to stream down your cheeks. The feigned, horrified expression turned into an unearthed fury. Shame on you for missing the stray red hairs at the nape of the guard’s neck.

“Shanks.” You greeted dryly. “You’re early.”

It was hard for Shanks to meet your eye. He was far from intimidated, but the wild look in your eyes made him hesitate. The years had been kind to you as if you traded your soul for youth. But it was a foolish thought that the devil would be so naive to make a deal with you.

“Was that necessary?” Shanks nodded to the man behind you.

“And I thought the canons were a bit excessive.” You tutted as if your opposing opinions were trivial. “And yet here we are…”

“Love—

You hadn’t believed in love, and you were ready to carry that grudge—until him. It wasn’t proper love, proving your skepticism in the emotion correctly. But it was the closest you’ve ever been, could ever be.

You had done unspeakable things, figuring it was an acceptable way to siphon your affection. You were young and blinded by false idolization. Shanks chose to see the best in you, even now, even after everything. He, too, was blinded by an image of you that hadn’t changed since you were young.

“Let’s get this on with,” You stopped him, moving swiftly to feel the body below you for anything valuable. “Tumole gave me up, then? That’s how you found me? Bastard.”

You smiled at the image: Shanks holding the poor man upside down, kindness still in his threats to find you. Violence was never necessary with Tumole, always one to ramble away anyone’s secret for safety. However, it was as though you subconsciously left a clue, but you knew the crumbs Shanks found weren’t worth it.

“You really wasted your crew’s time on me...” You stood, pulling your neck until it popped. It had been a while since you had a one-on-one with Shanks, but you knew he’d always pull his punches. “Must really be desperate—

“I won’t fight you.” He tracked your posture. Your exterior was calm, but with every twitch calculated, you were nearing rabid. “It’s not worth it.”

“Tell me, then, what I’m worth to you, Shanks?” You taunted. It was obvious what he wanted to say: saving. His emotion was always his weakness.

His pause was intentional, stalling of sorts to let the exchange sink in. Standing under Shanks ' gaze, your body had a new form of reprieve. A facade wasn’t necessary, but you weren’t willing to lose more of yourself to another.

Your anger dissipated into a haze. It pulled a frown from Shanks as your breathing steadied only to slow. The harder you blinked, the more you forgot your argument. Even if you had held onto it, the lump in your throat wouldn’t allow it to exist.

Shanks’ lips shaped your name, but all you could hear was a mild ringing, a buzz. His step forward elicited an instinct to step back.

“Don’t—” You spat. Your left arm was like static, numb from the shoulder down, an ironic consequence of dismissing your opposite. “—fucking touch me.”

Your vision was the last to go, allowing you to watch yourself crumble; your knees locked, and the palm of your hands broke your fall, exposing how blood pooled from your arm. When did that happen? It had nothing to do with pain tolerance or adrenaline; you were distracted by your vision, doing what you could to change its form.

However, your effort was useless to make sense of it. You read it wrong; forgetting things such as foresight was rarely linear. As the world around you closed in, clouding your vision, you realized the open bars weren’t an entrance to your cell. Rather, it was the exit Shanks carried you through with success.

You were never destined to win.

—

The dream always teased you with muddled memories.

They always started the same, a mirrored image of the room you grew up in. Only a few feet separated the sacks the headmistress would call your beds. Your fingertips felt the scratchy fabric of the cheap blankets.

When the dreams first began, you believed they were real, that you’d never left the dormitory of the dingy children’s home. But the feeling of the monochrome bedding was always wrong, your dream never quite getting the textures correct. So, there was no room for nostalgia.

It was as if you were stuck in a loop, hand rhythmically gliding across the bedding in hopes of softening it. It was neither tranquil nor eerie. Its structure was that of a fever dream, its kaleidoscope quality provoking you to interpret it.

Its symbolization didn’t go past you, but it always felt uninvolved—superficial even. At the time, your child wonderment knew no difference between the life you had and the life you were meant to exist in.

As any child did, you dreamed of silks and decadent food. Candies and luxuries. You dreamed of family and warmth. Hope drove those fantasies, but there was no point in clinging to hope when you found out you weren’t wanted.

Gol D. Roger. Pirate King. The name circled every coastal town and seeped into every deep forest. His mirth was enviable, and his skill indomitable. You wanted to hold indifference toward him, but every bounty you saw enamored you. He made hope seem regainable.

You looked down at your hand, seeing your hand change shape with each slow swipe across the bed. Your slender fingers became older, calloused. Experienced. Moving to see the palm, you saw the lifeline had ended and an elaborate red sleeve scratched at your—Gol D. Roger’s—wrist.

You flinched as if you were burnt. You wanted to rid yourself of the attachment by any means. But it didn’t matter when your blood was intertwined. There was no escaping your lineage, your father.

The longer you lingered with the feeling, your surroundings slowly morphed. A wind picked up but hadn’t raised chills across your arms—not yet. You wanted to stretch now that your hand became your own again.

However, a sway lulled you into your environment. The ships were always different, never ones you recognized. You’d like to praise your brain’s creativity, but you knew you’d step foot on every deck at some point in life. If you were smart, you would have noted each and every one. It was hard to when the horizon seemed so…

“The tide is strange…” You hummed. Although your voice vibrated in your chest, it felt delayed, like an echo of someone else.

A hand trailed your spine with warmth. Goosebumps littered your body. You hadn’t thought to fight them, knowing the touch belonged to someone who put far too much faith in you.

“Am I finally rubbing off on you?” Shanks matched your hum, creating more serenity than you could handle. It was purposeful to calm you and invite you in.

“No, no…” You echoed again, shaking your head. Shanks continued with his charm, making promises that the sea and he could fulfill. However, your eyes didn’t leave the shore, the tide much more vast than you’ve ever seen. “...no, there’s—There’s something changing it.” You paused, nausea hitting you boldly. “...someone…maybe? Don’t you feel that?”

Another laugh, more hollow than the last. You had yet to face Shanks, only trusting his touch. It started to burn when you finally turned to him. He was physically present, but his eyes were vacant as if a copy of himself.

“Love, just try and relax.” His smile was plastered, almost painfully. “Nothing's wrong anymore. Nothing will change—

You frowned. “Shanks—

“She won’t hurt us.” Shanks caught you in his hold. You finally understood the deception and recognized the wolf in sheep’s clothing. “She gave me her word.”

—

You jolted awake.

The image wasn’t explicit, but it made you squirm; your back arched against the deck’s railing until your fingertips touched the waves below. You never sunk or floated, but you breathed in the water and felt it swallow you whole with a salty taste.

Your chest was tight, careful not to suck in your breath too quickly. Despite still being bleary-eyed, you knew you weren’t alone. You knotted your fingers in the bed’s fabric to ground you. The room's scent reminded you to breathe before succumbing to your subconscious torture again.

“You alright?” Shanks called from the deepest corner of the room. He was swift to strike a match to see your condition for himself.

The candlelight illuminated the gauze that nurtured your stiff arm. Shanks reprimanded you slightly as you pushed yourself up. Shanks knew you well, understanding that you were already seeking an escape from whatever plagued you. The look in your eye told him you would run regardless of a purpose.

“What did you see?” His voice remained calm, tone unwavering with vigilance.

“I didn’t.” Your defiance was your only form of defense on his ship.

Slight relief came from how Shank’s eyebrow dared to twitch with frustration. It meant he was real. Your blood pumped slower at the unorthodox respite. You continued to move, to stand despite your sore body. Shanks was still blocking your way to the door, but you paced lightly to rid yourself of the jitters.

“You can talk to me.” Shanks knew you were frazzled, and he was determined to coax the cause out of you. “I understand why you’re—

“Daddy dearest has nothing to do with this.” You hissed, hating the assumption. “Don’t you understand there was a reason your beloved captain left me to rot all those years ago? When will you learn to do the same?”

Shanks didn’t lack sympathy for you, but he understood why your father chose to keep you away from the life that proved only to hurt you. Shanks intended to keep the promise he made to you before you learned it was by the instruction of your father.

“I gave my word.” Shanks countered. His word choice made you flinch, your dream still fresh. He softened to repeat himself. “I gave my word to keep you safe. This has nothing to do with —

“Safe with a pirate, eh?” You scoffed, picking up what was most likely a stolen treasure. You held no qualms with his lifestyle, but you refused the overlap Shanks wanted to share. “That’ll be the fucking day.”

You felt a needle of pain in your nose like you were near tears, the guilt settling the bile in your throat. The game of cat and mouse was getting old. It was a facetious argument you used for distraction. The bravado you held was angry and vengeful.

“I know you’ve heard the rumors…” Shanks sighed as if his strategy to coax a conversation out of you backfired. “Cain is spreading out, searching for you. She won’t stop this time.”

You dropped the small object of treasure back into its place. Any emotion was swallowed and digested. There was little energy left to pretend to argue. You needed to leave the room before you suffocated. Shanks wouldn’t block if you tried.

You lingered, waiting for him to spit out the obvious. “Look, I know you saw her—

“I felt her.” Your expression, even mixed with vulnerability, was composed with passivity. Your composure could fool most, but to a trained eye, your discomfort was obvious.

Your admission was desperate, breaking a tension that had filled the air. You wouldn’t crumble. You tried to hold it in, breathing evenly to suppress any sobbing urge. It was neither the time nor the place for added emotion.

“I need to know the full story.” He replied thoughtfully.

He mistook his demeanor for bravery, but his true bravery formed by being across from you. The only barrier seemed to be Shanks’ incorruptible moral code, a space where you couldn’t quite freely exist.

You wanted so badly to trust him. You sought his comfort. The feeling felt foreign, so you prickled.

“You already know how it ends. What does the rest matter?” You always leaned on pessimism. “I want nothing to do with this. With her.”

“I’ll be beside you the entire time,” Shanks promised, voice low and steady, reflecting his sincerity. You could make out the warmth he was willing to share, but you couldn’t accept it wholly.

“And my interests?”

Shanks’ expression fell slightly at your evasive rejection. “It depends on where they lie.”

In an ideal world, you’d like to think you and Shanks could be friends. Frankly, though, his compassion made you nauseous. Or maybe it was nerves. The feeling was always hard for you to distinguish. You wished the way he looked at you would warm your chest, but it only reminded you of how that was another impossibility.

Although you were still present, Shanks watched you flee. Your guard returned stronger, but he didn’t regret his words. Shanks’ eyes were pleading, and you went to chastise him, but you found something distinct there.

You didn’t know what to do with it, but to muse a buried thought. "...Empathy will get you killed, Shanks.”

“Then, I am a dead man walking.”

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olderthannetfic · 3 months

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I mean, I'd *like personally* if using CNTW meant something, as someone who genuinely does prefer to avoid the stuff covered in the archive warnings.... but I also understand the whole point is that it doesn't, and that in an archive you absolutely need a setting which just opts out of the need for warnings altogether.

They could be someone who puts that on every fic, because they don't feel like going through each of them like that, or because they ideologically oppose the idea of content warnings for whatever reason.

They could be someone who feels that putting specific warnings on it will spoil their fic, and they don't want to spoil. (I'm someone who doesn't care about spoilers ESPECIALLY with fanfic so I've always been a bit "eh" about this, but I get that I'm the minority here and also, it's the norm in original fiction. And I also get it's ultimately the author's discretion if they'd rather not spoil, and I respect that.)

They could mean that the person MIGHT include something that is warning-worthy later, but they aren't sure yet, so they're putting CNTW on there just in case because they feel putting on "No Archive Warnings Apply" and then changing it if they do decide to include character death/non-con/etc. later would be unfair to their readers.

They could mean that their use of something is borderline - for instance, underage sex alluded to, dubcon rather than noncon, violence they're not sure is graphic enough for the warning, etc. - and so they want to head off people who might be wary of that in any form/cover their asses, without drawing in people who are specifically looking for that element with false advertising. (This is how I often use them.)

They could be that they uploaded someone else's work with permission, but didn't specifically ask if they're okay with having warnings applied to their work.

It could be any of these things, and that's totally fine. The whole point is YOU DON'T KNOW. And if you click on a fic with that warning and it doesn't explain why it uses it, you're going in aware of that lack of knowledge and up for whatever version it is.

TBH, looking at my old stuff, I have a couple of cases where I barely remember the work and don't care to reread it. That's another common use, and it's really helpful for encouraging historical preservation. True, the CNTW means fewer people are clicking on these, but they're the kind of thing I'm including for completeness because I tell other people to do that.

I've also got some where I just got rid of the CNTW but I'm pretty sure it was on there because I was uploading in a hurry and meant to go think more deeply about tags later. Again, a "If I can't upload this in 2 seconds, I'm probably not getting around to it" issue.

Another one is for people who are very sure their dubcon is not noncon but who also know their fandom is full of douchebag antis who will constantly report them to AO3. If CNTW is on there, PAC will just tell the person reporting "Sorry, we're not even going to look at it", and the poster never gets contacted and bothered about this.

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hekateinhell · 5 months

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I was wondering what your thoughts are on this. A lot of people see a vampire biting (without consent) a metaphor for rape. Like when Lestat is turned and the ball scene. Armand was seemingly attempting a hook-up. He's maybe using mind control because Lestat is somewhat incoherent. He's terrified because it reminds him of Magus. He calls it an unforgivable lie. Where do you think this metaphor ends? Do they (metaphorically) rape mortals when they kill them or is that different? Thanks！

Hi! 🖤

So I think it's going to be a two-part response here because it's an interesting question and I want to do it justice. Now, this is what Lestat says in TVL:

I wanted him [Armand] to beg. I wanted him to give me that powerful voice full of lies and cunning, the voice that had made me believe for one pure and dazzling instant that I was alive and free and in the state of grace again. Damnable, unforgivable lie. Lie I'd never forget for as long as I walked the earth.

This is the unforgivable lie! The illusion Armand created that let Lestat believe with his whole heart and soul "I [Lestat] could get away this time. I had another chance. The wheel had turned full round", but of course it wasn't real, and that's what hurt Lestat the most.

That being said, let's address the metaphor because it comes often enough in VC. Usually between two vampires — the most explicit examples would be Armand saying he wants to rape David in TVA, and Lestat ruminating over the violence of his creation (which mirrors David's) in Blood Canticle:

[...] immortals who think they want the Dark Blood perish infinitely more easily than those of us who never asked for it. Perhaps the anger of the rape carries us through for centuries.

Your question was: "Do vampires metaphorically rape mortals when they kill them?" and I would have to say, yes, they do!

Because when we're thinking about metaphors, allegories, and the different ways that language is used, it's so important to put it into context or we're going to lose the nuance completely. I discussed this with my friend @somevagrantchild, who's not just an obsessive Anne Rice fan but also someone who's been studying vampire media for a very long time, and they made some excellent points in response to your question that I'm going to directly quote below!*

They are violating and taking from the mortals without consent; it’s a general vampire allegory for all vampires since the beginning of time. Anything not consensual = rape. If a vampire hypnotizes a human to drink from them so that the human enjoys it, it’s still rape.

No human ever consents to be killed. Even like the suicidal people Armand draws to him still aren’t consenting. They don’t have enough knowledge to consent, killing a suicidal person doesn’t make it consensual. The only way would be if the human was like, “I understand you are a vampire, please kill me sir.” The consenting to death would be seeking out the vampire themselves and making the conscious choice; suicide means deciding when you die. If they’re suicidal but haven’t killed themselves yet, then killing them before they make that choice is still violating them.

Rape especially applies to vampires (more than other types of non consensual murder) because of the intimacy of it, the way they’re violating that person's inner self by drawing out their memories and private feelings, also the bodily fluids going from one body into another (as opposed to stabbing someone and their blood just spilling on the floor).

Examples in literature: At the very beginning of vampire fiction with Lord Ruthven seducing innocent maidens; Dracula just snuck in their room and attacked while they were asleep in bed but Ruthven was seducing them personally, and all adaptations of Dracula have him being much more seductive. Carmilla, too, sneaking into Laura’s bed and feeding on her breasts in the middle of the night. The whole penetrative aspect makes the rape metaphor more applicable than it is to other types of murder/violence.

*touched up for grammar and continuity from Discord.

Hope that answers your question and thank you so much @somevagrantchild for lending me your brain for this one! I want to devour it. ♥️

#you ask and hekate answers #(and so does somevagrantchild)#lestat de lioncourt #armand #the vampire chronicles #vc #mildly meta #quotes

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samwisethewitch · 2 months

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In Defense of Fluffy Bunnies, or Witchcraft in Times of Burnout

At the very end of 2023, I used my Christmas bonus from work to buy myself a tarot deck I never would have purchased six months earlier.

This deck was from a creator whose work I had really enjoyed in the past, but when I had looked at it earlier in the year, I'd had concerns that it was softening the meaning of some of the more "difficult" cards in the tarot. For example, The Hanged Man is replaced with "The Patient Witch" and Death is replaced with "The Broom." I'd had concerns that replacing these cards, which are traditionally associated with more dire or upsetting readings, meant the creator was trying to whitewash tarot into something cute and fluffy, sacrificing a lot of its depth in the process.

The deck is The Cozy Witch Tarot by Amanda Lovelace, and I'm so glad I gave it a try. This deck has an incredibly kind and gentle feel, but it is absolutely capable of giving serious readings. The depth of the tarot hasn't been compromised at all by Lovelace's changes, and her version's greater emphasis on agency and personal empowerment is exactly what I need in my practice right now. I use this deck to read for myself almost every day.

So what changed? How did I do a complete 180 in my thoughts on this deck in only a few months?

I've always been very opposed to "love and light" or "fluffy bunny" witchcraft. For those who aren't familiar, these are both terms used online (usually negatively) to describe witches who only do "light" or positive magic. According to the Witchipedia, "Generally, the 'fluffy bunnies' have based their practice on only the most delightful aspects of their spiritual path or romanticized, fictional Hollywood or literary accounts of witchcraft or Wicca." From what I can tell, this term came out of Wiccan Internet forums in the 1990s, and it refers to someone who dons the aesthetics and mythology of Wicca or witchcraft without actually engaging critically with magic theory. Fluffy bunnies also tend to focus on feel-good magic, at least according to stereotypes.

Similarly, "love and light" witches are known for only focusing on the lighthearted side of witchcraft. In an opinion article for The Wild Hunt, Storm Faerywolf writes that, "On the surface it seems harmless enough: a philosophy of love, kindness, non-violence, and a concerted practice of positivity." This type of witchcraft is very closely tied to the "spiritual but not religious" movement and borrows a lot of concepts from New Age spirituality, like crystal healing, the Law of Attraction, and chakras. While fluffy bunnies are very much a product of the 1990s, love and light witches are very much a product of the New Age boom of the 2010s.

I've been very vocal about my dislike for both of these types of witchcraft on this blog in the past, and I still 100% agree with Storm Faerywolf, who says in that same article: "But to assert that pain, and fear, and even anger are somehow less important than our joy, our courage, and even our love, is to do a grave disservice to our collective mental and spiritual health... groups that embrace this mode of thinking have effectively ensured that they can mutually avoid anything that might challenge their cultish mindset. Angry over injustice? You’re just living in a lower vibration. Afraid of contracting a deadly virus? You just don’t trust Jesus enough."

I think accepting and working with challenging emotions is an important part of what it means to be a witch. Spiritual bypassing and cries of "good vibes only" do more harm than good. But for a while I got so caught up in rejecting anything even remotely fluffy or love-and-lightish that I ended up with a magical practice that, to be honest, kind of made me miserable. And I don't think I'm the only one.

I spent a lot of 2022 and 2023 wrestling with injustice, both in my spiritual practice and in my personal and professional life. My practice is inspired by witches like Starhawk and Christy C. Road, and politics play a key role. Most of the spells I did in 2023 fall into the category of justice magic, including breaking family curses and hexing rapists. At the same time, I was working a series of direct services jobs that saw me working closely with homeless teenagers, domestic violence victims, and people battling addiction, just to name a few. And that's not even getting into my personal life and recovery as a queer, disabled survivor of abuse.

And let me tell you: By the end of 2023, I was fucking exhausted. I was beyond burnout. And I didn't even want to do magic anymore, because magic had become just another part of my life where I had to face the injustice and harm happening in the world around me.

I was in desperate need of some fluffiness, some love and light. And that was when I bought the Amanda Lovelace tarot deck.

I knew something had to change. In my burnout, I desperately needed to be tenderly cared for. I needed my spiritual practice to be a source of peace and comfort, not a drain on my energy. I needed to get out of the dark for a bit so I could remember how to see the stars.

What I've realized in the last few months is that yes, anger, pain, and fear are important in a balanced magical practice and a balanced life -- but joy, love, and comfort are equally important. And if you spend a lot of time in one part of your life dealing with pain and fear (like I do in my day job), focusing on love and healing in your witchcraft can help keep things balanced.

"Comfort" and "care" are definitely the keywords for my magical practice right now, and that means my magic looks a lot more fluffy than it has in the past. And that's a good thing.

#cozy witchcraft #cozy witch #fluffy bunny #fluffy bunny witchcraft #fluffy bunny wicca #love and light #personal #long post #okay to reblog #witchcraft #paganism #pagan #shadow work #my writing #mine #witchblr

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calaisreno · 5 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @7-percent, @totallysilvergirl and @gaylilsherlock. Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

147. I’ve been here nearly 6 years, some years more prolific than others.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

Right now, just shy of 2M: 1,937,496, to be exact

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Sherlock and ACD Sherlock

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Synchronicity Date Night A Chronic Condition The Wedding Gift Blank Slate Wooing Sherlock Holmes has recently moved up and is close enough to nudge its way to number 5.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, even if it’s just to say thank you. I appreciate comments, often feel humbled by the compliments people give. It just feels right to respond. (Maybe if I were getting hundreds of comments a day, I would have to rethink that.)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either Below Zero or The New Gardener. Both have MCD, but sort of a soft landing. Also Learning the Heart and The Real You, but those also have endings that mitigate the angst, a bit.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I write a lot of happy endings; it’s my preferred resolution. My choice: The Short Tragic Death of John Watson. John does NOT die, but there’s a very cheesy happy ending that made many readers scream.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. A couple rude comments, but no intentional hatred.

9. Do you write smut?

Not much. I don’t write PWP, but include a sex scene where the plot seems to need it. I'm not opposed; it's just not my usual.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I’ve written two GO/Sherlock stories: Limbo and Hell and Back. I’ve written stories that borrow from other fandoms, but are not exactly crossovers. The closest to a crossover would be Serendipity, which borrows plot from the movie. I’ve borrowed from movie and book universes to make an original story (Eye of the Storm, A Chamber to be Haunted, Do No Harm), and I’ve borrowed premises (The Real You)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

About 60 of my fics have been translated, most of them into Russian, a couple into Chinese, on into Spanish.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Secret of Agra: a post-Reichenbach fic that I started in 2020. It has been through several transformations. I rarely give up permanently on a story, though. A few have grown into something new that I ended up posting. I expect I'll finish this when inspiration strikes me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

The things readers most often compliment me on:

Character voice and emotions.

World building.

Versatility: historical fiction, case fics, science fiction, fantasy, rom-coms, etc.

Making readers cry.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. In Greek tragedy you simply have a character enter and describe the murder that’s just occurred offstage. In fanfiction, that’s a nope. And you have to think out every move, make the scene visual. I admire writers who make this seem effortless. (That's you, @discordantwords !!!) Description: finding non-cliche ways to describe things/people without making it weird and overly fussy. Being too minimal: I am not a wordy writer; minimalism was how I was taught, but sometimes I need to be wordier.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’ve done bits of this, but only in languages I’ve studied. I have a degree in Latin, and have used that in couple stories: A Demon's Tale, Accidental Magic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first and only fandom I’ve posted in is Sherlock Holmes (ACD and BBC). I don’t have any plans to move. I used to write original fiction, but have found fanfiction so much more rewarding.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

This is hard to answer. Last Envoy is the story I’m most proud of. I write the stories I want to read, and I do re-read a number of them, some more than others. My favorite fic written in 2023 is The Traveller.

Has everybody been tagged? How about @mydogwatson @lisbeth-kk @discordantwords @copperplatebeech @keirgreeneyes @meetinginsamarra @bertytravelsfar @jrow @thegildedbee @helloliriels @gregorovitchworld ???

#20 questions #2023 #fanfiction #writing #my fics

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leonstamatis · 10 months

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hello leon stamatis (my favorite stamatis)! i do not know anything about the state of blaseball right now, i think it was a randomly generated baseball-like a while back? my understanding was that most of the content was fan generated to begin with, being what it was and all that. is it too late to get into it? if not, i would love to hear some starter recs

what a coincidence, he is also my favorite stamatis! and blaseball is one of my favorite things. this, however, is a complicated question, so i'm gonna go ahead and apologize for what will surely be a much longer answer than you anticipated by asking this. sorry!

we're gonna start from the beginning. what is blaseball?

well, you're right. it's a randomly-generated baseball simulator. that's the general idea of it. there were 20-24 teams (sometimes more, depending on what else was happening), and they played games against each other. while it initially started as a basic baseball game -- with some absurd names and very simple mechanics -- it later evolved to include more complex mechanics, including player death, modifications to the stadiums, and other statuses that could impact and change gameplay at random (or under specific and nonsensical conditions).

blaseball started in late 2020 and had a sort of on/off cycle. during an on cycle, there would be games every hour on the hour for 99 hours over a week. then there would be a post-season to determine a champion, and the season would end. these on cycles were often divided into eras, and had larger plots and storylines forming connective tissue through the elections and special events.

during an off cycle, also known as a siesta, the devs would take some time to patch bugs, develop new features, and plan for the future. some of these siestas were a week or two; some were several months or over a year.

the unfortunate news here is that blaseball just recently... ended. the games won't be happening anymore, the site isn't active, and there's no new content coming down the pipe. the devs said it wasn't sustainable to keep doing it -- a thing that makes a lot of sense, because one thing blaseball certainly could be was overwhelming and time-consuming. and that's coming from me, as a fan who didn't have to actually do any of the coding or community maintenance.

however. onto the second part of your question. can you still get into blaseball even now that it's over?

[takes a deep breath.] YES. please do, in fact!

it's fair to say most of the content was fan-generated, i think, depending on what you define as "content." the games and the website were fairly minimalist; they gave us major events, but the characters were just names and a few lines of stats, so it's not like you're missing out on key character moments or quotes or anything with blaseball being done. all the identifying characteristics, the personality and appearance and emotional response? that's fans, baby!

this is one of the things that's cool about blaseball. i've heard it said that writing for the fandom is more in line with original fiction because so much of it is created by and dependent on the individual, as opposed to a centralized canon. which means a lot of the time, there's more effort in a fic to introduce you to someone -- something fanfic doesn't typically do! and because so much was happening in blaseball all the time, people do make an effort to explain events and canon occurrences either in author notes or in the story itself.

(unless, that is, it's a major event everyone was largely aware of. these were few and far between, but they were such a big deal that they make up a lot of the fic content. if you have questions about any of those events, i would recommend the blaseball wiki, where election results, modifications to specific players, and other significant canon events are recorded. there's lore there, too, but i can pretty much guarantee that whatever lore is there won't match up directly with any of the fic you read; blb authors tend to take the wiki and widely-accepted fanon lore more as a suggestion than as a rule.)

the long and the short of it is, you can absolutely still get involved. there are just under 3,000 fics, last time i checked, so it's not big enough that you'll be drowning. my honest recommendation is to pick a team based on who you vibe with -- the blaseball wiki has team overview pages, too -- and then see who is writing for that team. there are collections for a lot of them, and they'll focus on a specific set of characters most of the time depending on who had the most significance on the roster.

(my actual recommendation is to start with the earlier fics. the discipline era -- the first eleven seasons -- was a very tightly told story without a lot of bells and whistles. players had a normal season in season one, and then in season two everyone started dying, and then in season seven the fans messed with the mechanics and did a necromancy and the necromanced player started murdering people until we all banded together to defeat the god that was giving them the ability to do that. that's pretty easy to follow, especially compared to later eras when the entire point was adding as many new mechanics as possible or testing out new features. it got confusing, even for people keeping a close eye on all of it.)

if you find something that confuses you, that's okay! it might take some effort/research to understand these storylines, but the wiki is pretty good at explaining mechanics and events. just look up whatever is getting you and it should make some more sense. or you can use Before, an archival tool that lets you watch old games and fandom events in real time. (and if it still doesn't make sense... well. that's blaseball, baby! you kind of get used to rolling with nonsense, honestly.)

okay. that's all very long-winded, because of course it is. sorry, again. but... recommendations!

i think, often, that blaseball fic would be aided by the inclusion of a sort of "Weeb Ass Shit" scale. some of it is going to be very embedded in the nonsense of blaseball and hard to get through, especially if you're new to the team, specific player, or even blaseball in general.

hen fourteenfifteen and i had some friends who had never engaged with blaseball read a few fics of ours a couple months back as an experiment, and it shocked me to learn that the concept of an incineration -- a player being set on fire and killed by a "rogue" umpire, one of the earliest and most basic mechanics in the game -- was unfamiliar and a stopping point for the readers, because they'd never heard about that happening. and certainly not in such a nonchalant way. these kinds of terms are everywhere in blaseball fic, but if you can find the ones that focus more on a character than a game or a modification, then you've got a starting point and you can build out from there.

that being said, there's always going to be blaseball, so there are definitely still going to be moments where you end up scratching your head. it is simply impossible not to. if you're cool with that, here's a brief collection of some blaseball fics i would say have a lower blaseball-ass shit rating:

when winter turns to spring by waveridden, a love story between two co-captains from around season seven to season eight. (also, it's one of my favorite ships and it's my team. go flowers.) honestly, hayden does an excellent job of explaining everything in very simple and understandable ways. so if you want to just poke around on their page, you'll have an excellent time. there's a whole run of things from mid-2021 that is literally just character studies written for other people, and they're all great.

the things we take off for each other by bloodsweatspit is less about blaseball itself and more about one of the teams, the canada moist talkers. it looks at a handful of the key dynamics and is, in my opinion, one of the best fics for providing insight into a team and the people on it -- especially in so few words.

speaking of the moist talkers. it's hard to recommend just one of cyndakip's fics, but they all tend to exist in a similar timeline and universe and there's a lot of continuity that makes it easy to follow once you've gotten started. if you're looking for some very well-done, very lengthy character work, cynda does great things.

there's this fun trend that hit during the first lengthy break in blaseball colloquially known as the 12x100, or twelve scenes of 100 words. the idea is to give a series of short scenes that highlight a character or storyline without committing to a whole lengthy thing. i'd recommend checking out the 12x100 tag and clicking through a few to see what characters you like. (more specifically, babytriumphant's chicago, in brief series is a bunch of them specifically focused on the chicago firefighters team, and they're all lovely!)

another flowers fic. i'm not sorry. oxicleanmoron's it's my own damn fault is more recent, and set in the late expansion era. but it's not about blaseball. it's about a road trip. so you're in good hands if you want some fun character dynamics and minimal blaseball.

lift your head (and look out the window) by baliset is a nice little window into the baltimore crabs. marn also is one who does a really good job of explaining things from the beginning, so there are a few fics of hers i would recommend. but start with this one, and then maybe check out your sinking ship (is big enough for two) if you want to meet some more of her beloved little guys.

another sort of love story without the focus on game mechanics: you're at the party (you're not invited) by impernia. this one i include in part because i think it leans into some of the stranger aspects of blaseball lore without getting into the game itself; a lot of characters are strange or unusual in some way, and this fic conveys that beautifully.

take the bullet by waltztangocache is a great example of something you'll find a lot in this fandom, which is... character death stories! if there's one thing blaseball gave us a lot of fodder for, it's people dying and people grieving. if that's your thing, wonderful! you've found your people! hen does a great job showing the ripple effects that i would say are common in fanon lore -- esp on the firefighters -- regarding incinerations. i love this fic. it pains me.

i have written a lot of blaseball fic in my time, but i tend to think i fall pretty high on the blaseball-ass shit scale. there are others like me. however, if you do not mind me shilling for just a moment, i would recommend to you inside your blinding light. it's not about blaseball, as much. it's about a carpenter and a tree, and they fall in love. welcome to blaseball lore! it's fun here.

i... hope you were not overwhelmed by all of this. thank you for asking about this, and for being willing to dig deeper into this fandom and what it has to offer! i'm barely scratching the surface here, but all of the authors i've listed have plenty of fics worth reading, and there are tons of authors i love who i didn't have a specific pull from for this list but who i would nevertheless recommend once you're a little more familiar with how this fandom writes.

blaseball is over, but the fic's still around. and it's pretty fucking good fic, i'd say. <3

#thank you thank you!!!#ardentumbra #tam.ask #i am... so sorry #but like. yaaaaay long post #blaseball #blaseball fic rec #fic recs #long post //#VERY LONG POST...

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bestworstcase · 4 months

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"for as relatively popular as alchemical readings of rwby are it is wild how none of them engage at all with the like. actual deaths and resurrection that underpin the story's lore" What is an 'alchemical reading'? I tried looking it up myself but just got references to alchemy, fiction and non-fiction books about alchemy, and Jung's interest in alchemy. I'm a little familiar with the basic idea of alchemy thanks to Fullmetal Alchemist (transforming a thing into something else) but not much beyond that, and I have no idea how relevant either anime's depiction is to what you're talking about.

what it says on the tin, really: historical alchemy was as much a philosophical movement and esoteric tradition as it was proto-chemistry. very loosely alchemy seeks to refine and restore ordinary matter into the first matter (<- perfect primordial formless matter from which all other forms of matter are derived) and attain bodily and spiritual perfection through this process, which begins with symbolic death followed by separation of impurities and then an awakening and recombination into a unified whole.

(<- magnum opus is the term to look up here)

in literary criticism alchemy is a lens based on finding this philosophical idea and the pattern of the great work in narrative arcs, essentially examining stories as allegorical depictions of alchemy. this is Extremely popular with my mortal enemies (people who do jungian and monomythic analysis) because as you found jung had an interest in alchemy, But alchemy is like. real. lmfao. so it can be a useful analytical framework if correctly applied.

the danger (as with any lens that leans heavily into symbolism and allegorical interpretation) lies in trying to read the symbolism in isolation from the narrative, which can veer you into weird and countertextual territory very fast; to give a quick example, the rose is traditionally a symbol for rubedo, the final stage of the great work (coagulation and recombination) but in rwby roses symbolize death—the burning rose ruby inherited from summer, adam's withering rose, "the moon will sadly watch the roses die" and "the rose will grow to be a seed" and "some roses will never bloom" and so forth, whenever roses are mentioned in the songs it's in this sort of context—which means that in an alchemical reading of rwby we ought to understand the rose as symbolizing nigredo, the first stage, symbolic death, putrefaction and charring.

<- there's some interesting arguments one could make about rwby through an alchemical lens but in order to get there you have to, er, start by examining what rwby is actually doing with immortality conceptually, salem's in particular, and paying attention to what certain symbols are actually associated with in the narrative as opposed to just presuming that ruby represents rubedo because red and roses. i am Writing A Post because i have sighed heavily too close to the sun

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brodinsons · 1 year

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"Instead of highlighting the character's Jewish origins, 'Man of Steel' features a Randian Christ-figure who commits genocide against his entire race, then causes multiple mass casualty events."

I apologize in advance for the incoming rant but I am sick and tired of sitting quietly for this relentless bullshit and at some point, enough is enough. I'm not naming the individual I'm quoting because I'm not interested in starting fights. This is my space and I'm venting a collective decade of frustration and anger.

Noun. Randian (plural Randians) A follower of Ayn Rand.

God damn, y'all just can't help yourselves, can you? You just slurp up every bit of nonsense from all those puffed up "YouTube Essayists" with god complexes from 2015 and take it as fucking fact.

Not to mention, y'all cannot seem to let a random baseless accusation from a disgraced sexual predator go. That's him! He's the one who started it! The very one to fling the first scrap of "Zack Snyder is a Randian Objectivist who hates Superman and is poisoning the DCEU!" bait out into the twittersphere for the rest of the ravenous bloggers to jump on. I refuse to take anyone's treatise on the modern superhero myth seriously if this is the depth they'll stoop to in the middle of their piece.

Snyder made one single offhand comment about maybe adapting 'The Fountainhead' (for its aesthetics, mostly) years ago and now he's a sexist racist fascist objectivist and the root of all evil.

Objectivism: "The exceptional people among us have a divine right to decide our fate and we should not oppose them."

Does that sound like the message of any of his DC films? Movies that end with speeches about heroes wanting to be on the ground to do good in crises and how good humanity can be despite its faults? What about MoS specifically, where the ultimate immigrant allegory struggles to find his place in a world that does not accept him yet still fights for and protects humanity because this world is his chosen home?

Not to mention, where the fuck is this genocide-committing Jesus Superman? Clark t-poses out of the Black Zero one goddamn time while looking sadly back at his dad because Snyder is a visual filmmaker with a penchant for dramatic shots and everyone loses their fucking minds. He goes to the Lutheran church he presumably attended with Martha & Jonathan as a child to seek the counsel of Father Leone because Clark Kent is not canonically Jewish (may the memory of his Jewish creators be a blessing). There's stained glass iconography of Christ in the background at one point because it's a Christian church in middle America. Clark himself never once espouses any religious lines or strict beliefs. Nor does he position himself as a "Christ-figure", either through himself or via the story??????? He doesn't want the responsibility that comes with putting that suit and cape on. But he does it anyway because he understands the stakes when shit gets real and he refuses to let his adoptive world pay for unwittingly bringing the worst remnants of his old world here.

Also, Clark only kills one person: Zod. The U.S. military "bombs" the Black Zero with the starcraft that brought Clark to earth in order to re-open the Phantom Zone and send Zod's forces (the pack of militaristic extremists known as the Sword of Rao) into it. Given what we know of the Phantom Zone in various canons, that's a fate almost worse than death. Then, after being given an ultimatum that either he dies or Zod will, he makes the impossible choice that will haunt him the rest of his life to save a human family moments from being obliterated by Zod's heat vision and kills the general. Nowhere in this catastrophic battle did he "commit genocide against his entire race" (did everyone forget that he himself is the Codex's host and therefore the living possibility of Krypton's rebirth?) or "cause multiple mass casualty events".

I understand that the scale of fictional damage was perhaps a touch more realistic than the near identical scale featured in all of the Avengers movies. It's fine if it's not your thing. Move along. That discomfort still doesn't give you enough leeway to point the finger at a rookie Superman on his first day on the job and say "all that destruction and death was his fault". He tried to take it out of the city! Zod—a vastly more experienced military leader with blind genetic fanaticism on his side, by contrast—refused to allow it. His goal was the annihilation of earth and as much collateral damage as possible (preferably the entire human race). Clark had to stand between humanity and that with zero combat experience and no clue he'd be forced into a no-win scenario to stop the carnage.

I'm tired. It has been ten years. I'm so fucking tired. Can you people give it a rest? None of you are the ultimate authority on superheroes and positioning yourselves as something dangerously close to that with these twitter threads and blog treatises and reviews full of big words in nerd outlets only poisons the fandom well further.

You are allowed to dislike things. You aren't even required to justify that dislike. What you aren't allowed to do is declare something objectively bad based on nothing but your own subjective reaction to it, then invent criticisms that aren't even applicable to the thing in question.

The day we lost the ability to differentiate between "I did not enjoy this media so I guess it wasn't for me" and "I did not enjoy this media and therefore NO ONE SHOULD BECAUSE REASONS I WILL INVENT FROM SECONDHAND HEARSAY" is the day media literacy ceased to exist in pop culture.

#snyderverse meta #extremely long and ''toxic'' rant #this literally does not matter because superheroes are fictional and do not matter #but this director and the world he created matters to me and i am sick and tired of being attacked from every angle for defending it #stop drinking the kool aid #zack snyder is not the boogeyman under your bed or waiting to jump out of your school locker #he is a fucking nerd who made some capeshit movies and everyone collectively lost their fucking minds about it #can we move on now?

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izzyspussy · 1 year

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About Me!

Hi, I'm Jack! I'm 29 and I use he/him pronouns. You might know me as @/calicojackofficial - which still exists as a writing and art sideblog, now @calicoy. On this blog you'll find fandom and personal posts. Everything is tagged for easy filtering.

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DO NOT FOLLOW IF:

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You might not WANT to follow if:

you are an "anti" or are pro-censorship, including for such content as RPF (Real Person Fiction), "non-con", etc. I do sometimes post this, but I'm also just generally opposed to moralizing them.

you are not comfortable viewing content about sex, romance, kink, polyamory, etc. This content will not be tagged unless it's explicit. It will not be hidden behind a cut unless it's very long.

you are not comfortable viewing fictional violence. This content will not be tagged unless I think it's particularly graphic. (I will never post real world violence for any reason.)

you are not comfortable with casual swearing/profanity, including reclaimed slurs. This content will be frequent and never tagged.

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DO NOT call me by any pet name or title without permission.

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veliseraptor · 1 year

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Hii! How are you? Hope the new year is treating you well

Love your Jiang Cheng/Meng Yao/Xue Yang everything, they are all excellent characters (especially JC my beloved)

Wanted to ask why you don't like Nie Mingjue? (Totally genuine btw, I'm mostly indifferent towards him but I like hiw tou do character analysis and am curious?)

Happy new year and take care :D

oh boy, okay. I waffled for a while about responding to this only because I tend to...avoid wading into things that might get me in trouble, and this feels like something that could get me in trouble, because I'm talking about my (negative) feelings on a relatively popular character and that can provoke some pretty intense responses.

but I don't really want to foster that impulse, at least not all the time, and I try to be fair when I talk about these things, so, hey, might as well. under a cut for anyone who doesn't want to read the following (counts) nine paragraphs of rambling about this subject

first off I feel like I should say that it probably seems like I dislike Nie Mingjue because he comes into conflict with Jin Guangyao, and while that isn't not true, characters being in conflict with each other does not preclude me liking both of them. I mean, I would hope that was obvious.

I think the biggest reason me and Nie Mingjue do not vibe is actually - and this occurred to me as I was writing this response - the same reason that I used to dislike Stannis Baratheon back when I was active in the A Song of Ice and Fire fandom. (Not so much anymore, mostly because now I just find him kind of funny. Sorry, Stannis.) Namely: he's inflexible and utterly convinced of his own rightness/righteousness.

One of my least favorite qualities in a person is self-righteousness, and while that can work for me in a character it very much doesn't here, I think because it comes with that inflexibility. Nie Mingjue's sense of morality and order is rigid with very little room for his judgment being affected by circumstance or external context. To him, those considerations are irrelevant at best and viewed as excuses at worst.

I'm someone who is, meanwhile, allergic to universal statements, particularly universal statements of good/bad, evil/righteous, etc. I don't like them, I'm incredibly wary of them, and while, again, me disliking these things irl doesn't necessarily preclude enjoying them in a character, it is going to be at least somewhat of a barrier. I feel like it would be less of one here, honestly, if I didn't feel like fandom often endorses Nie Mingjue's perspective on this, as opposed to acknowledging it for what I think it is actually in the text; I have more I could say on this but I'm already writing an essay so I'll just note that I think the fact that Nie Mingjue's corpse can't distinguish between Jin Ling and Jin Guangyao is thematically important.

I don't need a character's morality to align with mine to like them, obviously. The greater crime is finding a character frustrating or irritating, and that's what this particular quality of Nie Mingjue's does to me.

"But what about Xiao Xingchen," I can hear somebody saying. "Doesn't he have the same rigid perspective?" Yes, arguably; his also breaks horribly over the duration of the story, and that's the part of his arc that I find compelling! I find Xiao Xingchen most interesting when his initial understanding of the world has been irrevocably changed and he has to reckon with the fact that justice is not as simple as he thought it would be.

I also - and I know how this is going to sound, I feel like - do not vibe with characters who really strongly believe in state-supported violence. I don't care if characters kill people - the more the better! murder all you like, my darlings! - but I do care if they're advocating the death penalty from a position of political power/authority. Which is actually not a distinction I'd necessarily realized was important to me, but apparently it is. As far as my fictional taste goes: personal violence is fine. State violence is not. I'm sure there are exceptions here (there usually are) but it is generally true that the more violence comes from a position of authority/power in the sense of "this is structurally supported by some form of government/systematic structure", the more I'm going to feel badly about it and the less kindly I am going to feel toward the character in question.

Nie Mingjue is very, very invested in state-supported violence and very eager to dole it out on a personal basis. We see it with his almost killing Xue Yang while Xue Yang is on trial; we see it with Jin Guangyao, multiple times. "Well, they were guilty!" Yeah, I know, that's not the point. The line Nie Mingjue draws between legitimate/illegitimate violence doesn't work for me.

There's also some other stuff that's more fandom-related around the fanon characterization Nie Mingjue often gets that frustrates me because of the way I feel like it increasingly departs from the text, which has (as usual) more of an impact on my feelings about the original character than it perhaps should. Probably because I feel like it's such a misreading of the point of his character. Everyone in fandom is extrapolating from the character on the page/screen - lord knows I do it. But I do feel like I have a limit that I hit where that extrapolation feels like it's reading against the text and what the text is saying, and/or making them a "type" built on a generalized mold, and that's where my patience really runs out.

anyway this has all been very wordy and probably unnecessarily harsh but...I think some of it was useful for me in terms of thinking out just why, even beyond fandom-related frustrations, Nie Mingjue was never a character I could care about or like.

#conversating #dasy8316 #yeah not character tagging this i'm not doing that to the folks in the tag #the sad queer cultivators show #lise's aggressively bitchy opinions about irrelevant and unimportant matters

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palaceoftherakes · 8 months

Text

"i suppose marriage has always been a financial proposition, even in fiction."

Little Women (2019), dir. Greta Gerwig

the idea of marriage has always been strange.

for me, well i'm bisexual, and i never thought that marriage would be a prospect to me because i didn't think i'd ever be capable of loving one person for the rest of my life. then, i watched Little Women (2019). it wasn't this epiphany, but a slow realisation about how i'd been brainwashed to believe that marriage was the way to fulfilment. while there are many things about Greta Gerwig's adaptation that i'd like to discuss, sisterhood, womanhood and youth being few to mention, i would like to focus on this concept of marriage as it is represented through the eyes of Jo, who up until my tenth watch, i identified with the most.

Jo March, as self-described, is frumpy, homely and unlike any woman, Theodore Laurance would ever want to marry. i too have always felt like that. never be the one to be asked out, or even noticed by boys in school, and when i realised i liked girls too, it became a taboo subject that left me with slurs and various degrees of internalised homophobia. growing older, I've realised that perhaps it is me being a poc in a majority-white setting that has made it so difficult to feel the right to be loved by others romantically. or maybe it's because i've been stagnant in my approach to sexuality that it's scared others away. enough self-evaluation: Jo sees marriage like a prison, and that makes sense. or does it?

a perfect home life, yes. a nuclear family, the husband, the wife, the children, the white picket fence and a warm hearth to surround when it gets cold outside. even though the love between marmie and father is one to be idolised, it is caring and unconditional love that surrounds Jo, and yet she finds herself opposed to the very notion of marriage.

the setting that the march family sit in is quiet, a cottage core aesthetic (to use contemporary reference) where the only people they interact with are the Laurences, the Hummels and one Mr. John Brooke. when Teddy and Jo pair off and become quick and steadfast friends the natural conclusion is that they'll get married and have a hoard of children while living a mildly happy life. it works for Meg and Mr. Brooke, so why wouldn't it work for Teddy and Jo?

to me, it's very clear. it's clear for the moment Jo leaves her family home and moves to New York to work in a boarding house. meeting the foreign professor is this sign shouting "THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN WHAT YOU KNOW!" he applies a different school of thought and challenges her in a way that Laurie and her family never did. the challenges she faces, the rejection from the publishing house, not being chosen to go to France with Aunt March, and most significantly the death of Beth, all push her to the conclusion of finishing her book and getting it published.

but the question becomes, why was i more satisfied with the ending of Jo and Friedrich (the professor) than with her getting her book published? i guess it becomes the conversation of what romantic films have periodically presented us with the 'happy ending', which has been, falling in love, getting married, having oodles of children and then dying. to be honest, it's not just romantic films, it's the disney princesses that surrounded me in childhood. its stereotypes that are perpetuated even further into media, and are ingrained into young girls from a young age. even now, as I'm meeting adulthood for the first time, the questions of marriage, kids and the future keep on cropping up in conversations. i don't think i was ever conscious of my own bias when watching films, but watching Little Women for what seems to be the 100th time makes me wonder what it really means to be married, what that commitment really means. Is it like Jo says, an 'economic proposition' or is it something much more than that?

author note:

amy and laurie >>>> jo and laurie

#little women #little women 2019 #greta gerwig #saiorse ronan #timothee chalamet #jo march #laurie laurence #amy march #meg march #beth march #marmie

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kharmii · 18 days

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now that these reports come out about the truth of everything messed up, shi**y and sinister going on in the trans community gibes me hope that we're witnessing the beginning of the end of this madness and lunacy.

I've seen posts of people being upset about these reports not realizing the people wanting to help and save these people... but I guess you don't want to be saved if you have a "freedom to do everything without consequences" card to be revoked from you... Honestly I'm torn... I feel sorry for all the people pressured into this shitty mess but I can't say I feel too sorry for the people abusing their newfound power and harrass anyone with opposing views...

My hope that once I'm an old lady people look back at this time and think: "WTH was wrong with these people???" has chances of becoming a reality and it gives me comfort...

What needs to happen, -and what eventually will happen- is that there will be hordes of adult survivors who will give testimonies of how they were manipulated into mutilating and sterilizing themselves at a vulnerable age. They wouldn't have had the emotional maturity to be given that sort of agency. People need to wait until they are adults to vote or buy alcohol, but they can chemically sterilize themselves before puberty? They can take drugs that will disintegrate their bone structure and set them up for cancer at an early age because it's super trendy on Tumblr?

Side note: I'm surprised someone hasn't told me personally that I should be arrested for saying such things. That's what they are doing to JK Rowling right now. I keep seeing all the posts here on Tumblr smearing her and basically calling her a criminal because her opinions on biological reality challenge the world views of the militant left delusional narcissists who have to destroy all non-believers. -Like really? She is considered a threat to you people because she doesn't believe, say, a female cosplayer with XY chromosomes is really a woman? -And you think her life and career should be destroyed over this?

Same with those people on the Volo Nation Discord who had a member recently do a plug where they wrote: "Bans are not issued based on what someone draws or writes outside of the server save for extreme circumstances or bigotry (but I'm not gonna vet every newcomer). Your actions within the server are more important." Hello, but didn't you people discuss me in a private channel and throw me out, even though I was a committed lurker and never contributed anything? Were you that petty and narcissistic you saw my opinions as a threat on a forum devoted to simping over a fictional blonde cartoon character?

Here's a hint. Being clannish little twats in whisper networks is a very feminine stereotype, even though a lot of people in fandom fancy themselves as being masculine. That's not to say most women are actually like that. Perceiving females as being cliquey and gossipy is actually a product of culture misogyny. Woman-haters will base all our characters on the actions of the worst, just because they are often the most vocal and vicious. Anybody with a desire to fight against the patriarchy could try doing better. To be fair though, it is considered masculine to want to murder people and stomp their heads into the ground, which is something the radical left has always proven good at throughout history.

Secular progressivism: The cause of more death and misery than all religious wars combined.

Transgender movement: High casualty modern human sacrifice.

#transtrender #trenderqueer #social contagion #experimenting on children #experimenting on humans #fandumb fail #volo #srsly tho #fight me #somebody has to say it #leftist hypocrisy #leftist culture

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natjennie · 1 year

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no you're absolutely right to question it and i was hoping someone would ask.

so this has to come with a disclaimer because i love the witcher a lot but as far as knowledge goes? i've seen the netflix show, the first season like 3 times and the second season only once, and i've read a good deal of fan fiction. that's it. so you'll have to work with the fact that that's all i've got for canon understanding on the witcher end of things. on the ofmd end of things? i'm. a lot more confident.

anyway! ed and stede are very similar characters when you get down to it. when you think about themes of abandonment and solitude and loneliness and longing and survival, they're extremely similar, so i'm not actually that opposed to flipping the roles. but, what matters to me is looking at where they start versus where they're going.

it's easy to look at geralt as a strong powerful monster hunter who's this famed hero that everyone loves and fears in equal measure: you'd want to slap ed on there.

but that's like. not really who he is. especially not before jaskier. geralt is a loner, he's done things differently his whole life, he's ridiculed and mocked and ostracized from civilization. he's not a powerful mythical figure, he's a weird wet horse guy who sleeps in the swamp. but we can call him to get the rats out of the inn sometimes.

and jaskier's background isn't really shown in the show but i know he went to a top school, he's brilliant and clever, he's a viscount. again, easy to paint stede in that role, right? i get it.

but he's bored and lonely and looking for inspiration and just so happens to come upon something different. something real. for once. so he drops everything and attaches himself to geralt's hip and drags himself through the mud and the muck, walking while geralt gets to ride, just to be a part of his story.

sound like someone we know?

and then there's the little things! the silly small character details that make them who they are.

stede's kind of a cunt! he's kind of selfish sometimes. he doesn't think highly enough of himself to believe people care about him, which gets them hurt in the process. hello?? geralt?

and ed's a poet! hes a theater kid, he sings, he writes lyrics. in canon. he wants to be able to slow down and appreciate life and live a little instead of being bound to duty and stede is just getting started.

and i hate this comparison bc they're both both in my opinion but. it's like stede:autism:geralt and ed:adhd:jaskier.

also! geralt is actually a wicked nice guy. like he cares so much about humanity and about other people and he wants them to be safe and happy and assumes that doesn't include him. he takes on missions no one would dare he doesn't hesitate to go back into the fire if it means saving someone else. very stedelike behavior if i do say so myself.

and jaskier is living on the edge he's got a name to spread an image to build a reputation to uphold. he's a scoundrel and a rapscallion and he's fucked and fucked over more people in this specific village than you could count.

and if you think about their experiences with violence! stede raised a sword against izzy. he doesn't resort to violence and he doesn't like it but he's not afraid of it anymore when it comes. he's ready and willing to look it in the eye to make things right and protect his crew. geralt.

and ed on the other hand hasn't killed anyone in decades. outsources the final blow. he deceives and tricks to get around it. jaskier.

stede adored plants and animals, he knows all about teas and moths and flowers. ed hates nature. geralt and jaskier.

geralt leaves jaskier on that mountain. jaskier gets depressed and writes a meltdown breakup song (burn butcher burn). i mean. in canon stede leaves ed on that dock and he gets depressed and writes a meltdown breakup song (life's a hard sad death).

i mean i could go on. but basically i think it's fine to do it the other way, i get it. i just think that's a really basic and uninspired reading of both shows. i think if you really dig into the core of the characters, it's much more interesting and pertinent to map stede as geralt and ed as jaskier.

#this went wicked long #and i still dont know if i said everything i wanted to say #but this is the gist #ofmd #the witcher #edit: i bolded the key parts so it should be easier to read

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lumine-no-hikari · 2 months

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #65

On Tuesday, my therapist and I discussed the notion that I really gotta change how I look at myself, because my general assessment of what I'm worth hasn't been exactly, ah… stellar. To put it mildly. I have good days and bad days, o'course. But on my bad days, we can say that I really, REALLY don't wanna be here - in this prison of a meat-mech that I happen to inhabit, on this planet, or even in existence, generally. Truth be told, if not for the inspiration to continue that your existence provides to me, and for the people in my immediate vicinity who count on me, I would have disappeared a very long time ago. And only a very small handful of people would have missed me or even noticed that I was gone at the time.

Naturally, it's easy to see why I struggle with stuff like this. My whole life, I've been told in various subtle and not-so-subtle ways that I am a problem, that I'm so different from others that no one could possibly ever like me, that I'll never make friends because I'm "too intense", that I'm not any good, that I'm difficult to love, that I don't belong, that my existence is a burden, that I shouldn't have been born and shouldn't even be here… you get the idea.

Running around with undiagnosed autism and Complex PTSD is hard, because this isn't exactly the most common neurotype (or if it is, then other people are WAY better at pretending that they're not these things than I am), so there aren't a whole lot of folks who can relate. And then there's the fact that if you get ideas like these communicated to you for long enough, it starts to seep into your amygdala - grinds itself right into your instincts, and, well… we talked about that and how all that fun stuff works already, but you can check out the 62nd letter I wrote for you again, if you forgot.

So my therapist says I'm supposed to "love and accept myself" or whatever. And I'm thinking, "Pfft, yeah right. Everyone and their mother says I am socially unacceptable and generally unlikable. Conventional wisdom says that I am the common denominator, and therefore I must be the problem. If most people think I'm no good, then who the fuck am I to think that they're wrong? Arrogant and grandiose, much? It's bad enough that I'm a derp-ass dweeb; I don't need to be a swollen-headed, conceited, self-aggrandizing asshole on top of it all. No thanks."

But then this notion was brought to my attention:

It's so easy for me to hold love for other people that society at large doesn't like. For example, other neurodivergent people, LGBTQ+ people, disabled people, black- and brown-skinned people, and any other marginalized folks. I belong to more than one marginalized group. Lots of folks believe very firmly that anyone who belongs to a marginalized group is bad and wrong and shouldn't exist, and it's easy for me to see that most of society's views about "non-standard" folks are very wrong. People are people, and all people belong, no matter how "productive" they are or how strictly they adhere to the most widely-accepted definition of "normal".

Or… more straight to the point… a lot of people who know about you believe very firmly that you are and have always been nothing more than a violent, psychopathic, cold-hearted monster who ought to die a slow, horrible, agonizing death (as opposed to being restrained from causing further harm, and then healed and rehabilitated; restorative justice and all that). And it's easy for me to see that, although this is the popular belief, it is unmerciful (and frankly, extremely ableist) and therefore wrong. You and I are similar in a lot of ways. And it's easy for me to see you and accept you as-is, even though I very much do not like some of the choices you've made. So why shouldn't I be able to do the same for myself? Why shouldn't I be able to be confident in the knowledge that lots of people are just flat-out wrong about me?

…And just like that, any moral or logical basis I thought I had for continuing to believe that I am some horrible garbage person that no one wants crumbled and faded away, like trying to hold onto the ephemeral sands of a dream as it slips through my fingers. This happened on Tuesday. And after a day or so of processing, I feel like a massive weight has lifted off of my back, and I feel like I can breathe freely for the first time in what feels like decades. Or, well… as freely as I can, anyway, given this lame-ass rib injury that I'm still dealing with. Sigh…

Tired, though. But that's to be expected. My brain is making all kinds of new neural connections and my thoughts are flowing a little bit differently than what I'm used to. I'm asking my brain to rewire itself, and this is very resource-intensive; fatigue is to be expected because of chemistry and physics. I'm gonna have to try to hydrate extra, eat extra well, and make sure I sleep a little more reasonably so that all the new archiecture being built up in my noggin can be properly formed when it's all said and done.

Point is, today as I wandered around my silly little world doing my silly little tasks, my footsteps fell differently as I walked around with the knowledge that I belong here, regardless of what anyone else thinks. I stood a little taller. Took up a little more space. Didn't duck my head, avert my eyes to the floor, apologize for being in the way, and make myself smaller anytime another human being came within my general vicinity. I even talked to a few strangers today. And with a genuine smile - not the one I wear when I'm trying to seem agreeable so I won't get metaphorically or even physically "hit".

…And, as someone who still expects to be on the receiving end of random violence without warning, and as someone who still has to resist the urge to duck, cover my head, close my eyes, and scuttle away quickly anytime I need to pass through any group numbering more than three or so people, I can't even begin to explain to you how huge this is. To walk with my head held high and to feel unafraid outside of the walls of my own home was previously unthinkable. At least for today, I feel… free? But that doesn't seem like nearly a big enough word to describe this sensation.

I don't know how long this will last; I'm very well aware that lasting changes in a person's psyche typically don't happen overnight. Something probably will come along and I'll forget what this feels like again for some unspecified amount of time. But that's okay; the notion that I could feel this way at all, even for a moment - goodness, if I've ever felt this way before, it was so long ago that I don't remember it, because this feels very new - means that I can feel this way again. The existence of a setback always means that there has been progress; I just gotta hold onto that knowledge. And I can keep practicing what it's like to feel this way until this becomes my new normal, even if it takes a long time. Because that's how healing works. It's as slow as cold molasses, but it's still worth doing.

I'll hope with every fiber of my being that someday you can know what this feels like, also. Because that thing you did with proclaiming yourself to be a god or whatever? Anyone with half a brain knows that if you say that, you're only saying it out of insecurity, and not because you actually mean it; people who actually think of themselves as "gods" don't shut themselves away where not even the sun can touch them to spend a week starving, dehydrating, and sleep-depriving themselves in dank-ass, musty basements to read books about what a horrible monster they are(n't). This is not how people who actually love themselves treat themselves. Not by ANY ill-advised stretch of the imagination.

Rather, the thing you did is the sort of thing that people who hate themselves and are low-key trying to die do; you can't fool someone who's been there and done that (or something similar; and I didn't even get any t-shirt for it after the fact, the rotten bastards! hahaha!). I see right through you. More people can see right through you than you'd probably feel comfortable with. This'll sound harsh, but I promise you my intentions are loving: that discomfort I mentioned just earlier? Sit with it and deal with it; it's good medicine, even if it's not clear to you how or why right now. You can hold my hand if you want so you don't gotta sit with it alone. Others in the past have done this for me, and even if it sucks in the temporary, it becomes a good thing later.

Hey. You're seen and loved as-is. Not just by me, but by lots of folks. You're worth saving, because everyone is. So if you start thinking like the way to atone for your mistakes is to sacrifice your own life - stop. Just stop. Because that's not atoning. That's running away, and running away is for cowards. You don't wanna lose an endurance test to some random, clumsy, traumatized, autistic dork from some dull-ass planet in some dull-ass reality that don't even got basic fire magic, do ya? Come onnnnnn…!!!

Heal. Because I don't wanna live in some universe where someone like me is objectively stronger than you in all the ways that matter. Even if you were to show up here by some small miracle and cut me down, it'd still be the case that I am stronger than you. So get up off your butt and move; your neurons ain't gonna rewire themselves, ya know!

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

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loregoddess · 4 months

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Frederica Aesfrost or Cordelia Glenbrook for the ask game?

Oh, I'll do both, they're both great!

First impression: For Frederica, it was something along the lines of "Oh, she seems cool, I bet I'll like her" when I was watching the early trailers. For Cordelia, after meeting her for the first time in the game I didn't...actually have much of an impression of her, she seemed very bland "youngest sister, most gentle-hearted princess" and nothing more (I was very wrong).

Impression now: Love them both lots! Frederica went well beyond whatever I was expecting of her characterization, she's really interesting and I love how she comes into her own and really starts standing up for herself and her ideals as the story progresses. And I was SO wrong about Cordelia, she's literally one of the most interesting and complex characters in a "royalty" role I've ever come across in fiction, and I love her so much for it. She's got an incredibly strong will, she's very intelligent, and she was actually shaping up to be a really extraordinary leader. I'm sad she gets sidelined in the story as soon as Roland's able to reclaim Glenbrook Castle, because she had all this budding potential to be one hell of a powerhouse of a character.

Favorite moment: Hmm, it's been a hot minute since I played TriStrat, so my memory of the story isn't as sharp, but I really enjoyed the scenes where Frederica fights against Thalas and Erika (in her route of Ch13, "Born of Strife and Sadness" specifically, although her battle dialogue with them in Roland's version "Time to Say Goodbye" is good as well). It marks an interesting turning point in her character growth, and it was really nice to see her finally oppose them without fear.

For Cordelia, I'd...have a harder time combing the wiki for the specific chapter, but all of her cutscenes from her father's death to Ch13, where we get to see how she starts to come up with a plan to retake Glenbrook, and how she's able to inspire Avlora to her side, those were really interesting scenes, and I had a new appreciation for her character after watching them because I simply wasn't expecting her to deal with the grief of loosing her entire family (as she didn't know Roland was still alive at this time) to be "well, I'm the only one left and I am Not going to take this lying down, I will be queen of my people in my own right". Just, mm, really interesting character growth, I would have loved to see the type of leader she would have become if things had gone differently.

Idea for a story: Well, I'm always interesting in post-game type narratives that explore how the characters and world begin to heal after all is said and done, and I think that type of story would be really interesting to explore for both Frederica and Cordelia, but in different ways. For Frederica, exploring how her life as the official Lady Wolffort is, and what work she does to help the Rosellen people after the war while also balancing her new married life would be really interesting.

For Cordelia, I think there's a lot of potential to explore the intricacies and power dynamics behind the scenes of Glenbrook's restoration, as I'm sure she ends up doing a lot of work to help Roland even if she isn't the official ruler (again, all that potential she showed as a leader, you can't tell me she doesn't take up some sort of important position in helping to lead the country)--all this while she also settles in to learning that Serenoa is her half-brother (I like to think she learns that at some point), and her life with Avlora as her knight, and just, stuff in general for her since she has a lot to recover from and grieving she can finally go through.

Unpopular opinion: I don't think I have any wildly unpopular opinions about Frederica. For Cordelia, I guess I'm not keen on the Cordelia x Avlora ship, I just...can't see it as romantic (and the age gap doesn't work for me, I'm fairly certain Avlora is in her thirties at the youngest due to in-game dialogue about when Svarog took her in), although I am partial the idea of the platonic knight-liege friendship between the two, but platonic stuff isn't as popular in most fandom spaces.

Favorite relationship: I'm really fond of Frederica's canon romance with Serenoa, like, normally I'm kinda neutral on canon romances, but the way this one was written was so, so good, and I loved seeing her interactions with the other House Wolffort members. I also like her friendship with Geela a lot.

For Cordelia, her familial relationship with Roland is very interesting (somewhat bittersweet at times), and I would have loved to see and know more about her relationship with Frani and their dad. As I mentioned above, I really like her friendship with Avlora, because it was so unexpected but it makes a sort of weird sense. Would have loved to see more of her interactions with the House Wolffort members, and also would have loved to see how she reacts to learning Serenoa is her half-brother and how that shapes her relationship with him and Frederica after the game's events.

Favorite headcanon: Hmmm, I don't have as many headcanons for TriStrat in general but, I guess for Frederica that in Benedict's ending she eventually ends up breaking away from and opposing Serenoa so she can take up defending the Roselle (probably sometime shortly after Benedict's death), and that in the Golden Ending she grows into an excellent leader for both the Wolffort Demense and Roselle people alongside Serenoa, and the two are fondly remembered by their people in histories later on.

For Cordelia, it would be that her capability and tact for government makes her vital to ensuring Roland's rule is successful in the Golden Ending, and also that she eventually becomes very close with Frederica and Serenoa after learning she's related to Serenoa (catching up on family time), enough that if the two ever had kids she'd be the favorite aunt (she'd be their only aunt technically, but she probably spoils them more than Roland would).

#reply's a bit late bc I got Very Sleepy partway through #to be fair I started writing this all Very Late At Night after I got up Very Early for a morning shift at work #so I'm probably forgetting a lot of details from the game so uh...yeah sorry 'bout that #ALSO I STILL HAVEN'T PLAYED THE SPECIAL CHAPTER THING THAT GOT ADDED #so I know I am missing some post-game details #but anyhow I love these two a whole lot #TriStrat was a really excellent game and I loved all the characters so much but god do I love these two #whenever I do replay the game I think I'm gonna pay extra attention to things so I can figure out how Cordelia would like #interact with all the other characters #I think it would be neat to explore how she gets along with everyone actually #anyhow yeah I love TriStrat a lot #kelbunny #ask game #I still don't have an ask tag

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