#Jason: bITCH-

[stormy-skyzzzzzz]

ate and left no crumbs. I swear Alfred is the most iconic batfamily member.

#batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #batman #red hood #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #dc robin #damian wayne #damian al ghul #alfred pennyworth #the baddest bitch #comics #dc comics #dc universe #robin

[swugflower]

Brucie Wayne gets interviewed and the question who, expect Batman, is his favorite Gotham hero.

After some awkward moments of silence, he blurts out that it’s Spoiler. Since she is the only one from the main active team that isn’t his kid and this way he avoids picking a favorite.

Meanwhile, the group chats explodes into chaos instantly.

#this post was supposed to be about who he thinks is the hottest #but a good chunk of them are still minors and I didn’t want anyone mad at me for a shit post written at 2am #so it turned into favorite #swugs ted talk #batman #bruce wayne #dc #batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #damian al ghul #duke Thomas #and yes I know Team Batman is way bigger but this is about the main bitches #stephanie brown #spoiler

[irn-bru]

my genuine reaction watching batman beat the ever loving fuck out of Jason in under the red hood when the only other batfam media I know is wayne family adventures

#im aware wfa is fanmade but like. i had severe delusions of bruce's ability as a dad #he threw him face first against all four walls and then the TOILET. die you bitch!!! #lego batman wouldnt have done this #im trying to get into more dc especially batman/batfam. im not really into comics and i prefer animation #but if anyone wants to send some recs my way id really appreciate it. especially some where bruce is nice!! #jason todd #red hood #batman #under the red hood #dc #beth.txt

[temperamentalaquarius]

Ugh the way fanon Jason calling Tim replacement v.s. canon Jason calling Tim pretender flattens Jason's motivations and the whole Jason and Tim relationship. 'Replacement' directs all of Jason's anger to Bruce. It makes Tim and Jason allies in victimhood. 'Here is this callous man that views us as interchangeable, can't you see that we're nothing to him?' 'Pretender' though... that holds Tim accountable for his role in making Jason's death meaningless. 'You saw everything I was, all that I gave, and you used it as a springboard to become what I should have been' is a lot more complex, and a lot more thematically accurate to Jason's whole deal. It's a larger gap for the characters to bridge, especially when Tim is coming from the perspective that his becoming Robin was not only right, it was necessary.

#jason todd #red hood #tim drake #Robin #Red Robin #(?) #idk what hero tag we're using for Tim these days #bitch i might wing #disclaimer cuz I'm tired of reading this comment #I AM VERY AWARE THAT HE IS ANGRY AT BRUCE I AM TALKING ABOUT TIM THO

[daydreamerwonderkid]

He has no fucking business looking this cute.

Motherfucker stuffed 8 heads into a duffle bag and then proceeded to have the most unnecessary/overblown homecoming party ever.

He's a literal crime lord. And yet.

#jason todd #red hood #the red hood #happy birthday #to the most pathetic bitch ever #lmao #dreamer queue #the batman who laughs

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.

#is this a post about Latinx Jason todd? Bitch it might be #Don't ask me about it tho cuz I'll deny it to my core #I imagine jason drunk off his ass belting No Me Queda Mas like he fuckin wrote the song #Dick's got Como la Flor Energy but he has ugly Sobbed NMQS too #they are so infamous for their drunk spanish ballads that they actually rub off on TIm #imagine young justice suprise when the whitest kid you've ever seen wasted on 7/11 liquor is hiccuping his way through a selena song #worst accent you've ever heard sounds like a dog from New Jersey learning to bark and yet the emotion is kinda on point #TIm denies it #refuses to believe he has ever done it #Dick and Jason get a copy of the video and someone edits a mash up of all three of them warble singing that banger #anyway this was a nothing post of nothing I made for myself #fr just for me #DC #Batman #Batfam #Jason todd #Tim drake #Dick Grayson

[sleepire]

"It don't bite" YES IT DO.

#red hood #jason todd #dc comics #batman #B is for bitch #this mf ain't even my favorite but his outfit #i live for it #hes so silly #hes also a murder #but sh #how do you tag

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 170

Once again on my Ras & Danny being training rivals thanks to time travel bullshit. 

Look, Danny knows about the league of Assassins, but he almost dies of laughter when he realizes it’s the modern name of the league of Shadows. He’s an adult now, has been for a while, he’s allowed to find the situation he’s found himself in amusing. Hell, his sparring buddy who is somehow still alive is laughing too. 

And no one else knows what’s going on, okay? This random man walked into their secret base, completely ignored the many assassins trying to stop him, and called their illustrious leader a “Little Bitch Man” and they are now fighting?

The fighting is familiar, but why the fuck is Ras cackling and saying things like “Ayreh Feek” back. Practically saying “Fuck you,” while laughing and oh Pit, they’re Bantering this is terrifying, why has Ras not won yet, why has this man not died yet and- bodies aren’t supposed to bend like that what the fuck- 

Ras on the other hand, has One friend, who is immortal like him, actually remembers the shit he complains about, is also down for saving endangered animals, and actually knows how to spar! It’s not a proper spar unless someone loses at least a hand that has to be reattached! And honestly, people nowadays should know that the proper greeting to an old friend is to instantly try to kill the other. 

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #Jason & Talia & the Assassins are just standing there in utter confusion #Dusan also standing there: Oh thank fuck his sparring buddy is back we kept losing operatives whenever Father decided to be affectionate #Most of the League is at least Ecto contaminated but the Al Ghuls are Liminal AF #Danny as a teen: Ur a lil bitch lmao #Ras as a teen: Well fuck you too I hope the earth swallows you where you stand #Danny as an adult when he sees his friend: Hey Bitch #Ras to everyone’s horror: Hey Fucker you’re a decade late #Danny: Had a king to kill you know how it is #Talia: Alright Jason time for you to go to Gotham I think there might be hallucinogens in the Base #Jason: No I want to see more of this this is comedy gold #Tiny Damian doing mental gymnastics: Is this Grandmother????? #No one knows how the fuck to describe their relationship- are they friends?? Rivals?? Lovers?? Just too dudes who apparently have known #each other for a Very long time????

[minnow-doodle-doo]

Middle school, especially Gotham Academy, can be the worst but they got each other.

#dc #SoA AU #robin #batfam #jason todd #tim drake #my art #theyre brothers #ride or die bitches that can't do anything not intensely #They met when Jason was 11 and Tim 9 (my other Sons of Anarchy posts has more about them) #the NPC comment was inspired by a 5th grader who put 'i like NPCs' on a post it note on someones back idk why but I think it was devastating #I literally threatened to quit my job if they moved me to the middle school (it was for a lot of reasons but a big one was that Middle schoo #is the worst)

[bruciemilf]

DC can shoot blockbuster movies, but only WFA is genius enough to introduce PTA mom! Bruce who's extremely competitive.

I need Battinson, youngest parent there by far, to roll in, smudged make up, bruises, a busted red lip.

No one thinks to link those marks to Batman. They're OBVIOUSLY evidence of a long night of fooling around in the club instead of caring for his young ward

Margie thinks that's funny, seeing as this guy obviously doesn't get out much. She tried putting him through the trial of Intimidating Mom Show Off and he just said, " I'm going to cry in the bathroom. Excuse me."

I'm sorry, but Bruce being openly affectionate with Dick, Jason, Damian, Cass, and Tim, -- kisses on the cheek, hugs that last until the teacher breaks them off, - would have the fathers cringing.

" Haha, I don't do that with my kids. I'm actually here because my wife bitched at me."

Bruce, straight up, " Don't you like your children?"

" Excuse me?!"

" Not yet. Why do you hate your kids?"

" I love my kids, I just can't wait to get away from them. Come on, you know how it's like."

" No. I love my babies. Why do you hate your babies? Why do you hate your wife. I'll pay for your divorce if you want."

Bruce gets reported VERY often to the principal and board for being inappropriate, and you know what? They refuse to do anything. It was about time someone raised hell around here.

Duke, age 8, watching a grown man throw a tantrum because Bruce called Dick 'baby' : Bruce. I can poke him with my sword

Bruce: Not yet, Duke

Jason tries exploding every kid he doesn't like with his mind. "Trust me, you won't like the alternative. Now be gone! My papi brought me lunch." It's a lunchbox full of books.

Bruce gets along the best with the mothers. They treat him like the class hamster

#bruce wayne #dc #batman #batdad #batfam #duke thomas #jason todd #jason uses Shakespeare language send tweet #text #let harley and martinez and selina be his back up for when he cant manage to come. someone makes the mistake of muttering #' whole family's a bunch of freaks' and harley does not hesitate okay. pull that bitch in the street and beat their ass #in front of their kids. do them dirty. in front of they bloodline #text post

[panakina]

It means so much to me that Jason is both very much a victim, and he is so loud and hurt and unrepentant over it. He isn’t interested in silently enduring like some kind of romantic martyr. There is no nobility in pain. It is not beautiful.

And the harder different writers have tried to retroactively make him mean and unsympathetic the more i love him. Yes! He’s angry and mean because his life has been cruel and unjust and that is worth getting angry about.

#‘jason should get over it already’ #y​ou should shut your bitch mouth #jason should scream louder actually #jason todd patron saint of victims #dc #red hood #jason todd #batman

[stormy-skyzzzzzz]

the man the myth the legend

(he was gonna straight up shoot a guy)

#alfred pennyworth #the baddest bitch #batfamily #batfam #comics #batman #dc comics #dc alfred #bruce wayne #dc robin #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #damian al ghul #kate kane #stephanie brown #duke thomas #the little star dude #the one who becomes robin #batman comics #dc batman #alfred always slays #sometimes literally

[burritowitch]

Okay so i hate that the batkids are rich purely because they dont have those classic siblings experiences. So here is me putting them in those horrible situations.

*the batkids are in a hotel room with only one bathroom*

Jason: DICKHEAD get the fuck out or im gonna piss in your suitcase!

Dick, over the sound of water: I'm taking a SHOWER

Tim: AND? Hurry it up assman, I gotta brush my teeth!

Damian: I hope you all eat shit and die. I've been waiting longer than all of you.

Meanwhile, in the girls room:

Steph, barging into the bathroom: i gotta take my makeup off and brush my teeth. Deal with it.

Babs, in the bathtub: i dont even know why i try to lock the door at this point.

Cass, slipping in to use the sink: making instant mac n cheese. None for you guys.

Steph: bitch.

Cass: whore :)

#batkids #tim drake #stephanie brown #jason todd #batfam #cassandra cain #damian wayne #dick grayson #barbara gordon #both of these have happened to me #also my sis always flushes the toilet while im in the shower to remove any hopes of water pressure i had #cause shes a bitch

[gilbirda]

Danny is the rightful Ghost King, but since he's not of age he needs a regent who is a) his species, b) his family, and c) an adult. The only adult haftas are Vlad or this Red Hood guy from Gotham that he's never heard of. Since Vlad is not going to happen looks like it's Red Hood, now how to make the guy count as family...

Jason has had a lot of weird shit happen to him over the years but a woman tracking him down as Red Hood to propose a temporary political marriage so he can be regent of a death dimension until her brother is old enough to rule in his own name is a new one for him. Of course he accepted. The only other option was apparently a creepy uncle figure. He's read enough romance to know a forced marriage of a woman to her creepy uncle never ends well. A forced marriage of a woman to a crime lord doesn't usually end much better, but he's ignoring that for now. He's going to woo and romance his spit fire of a wife with respect, spontaneous poetry, his damn good cooking, and by not being a Darcy. And he is going to rock not just this whole regent thing, but also and more importantly the mentoring her brother and his new ward on how to rule this dimension. Competence is always attractive. He runs a tight ship in his crime empire, surely running a dimension can't be that much harder.

He actually already has a plan on how he's going to handle the whole 'The USA declared war on the dimension he's regent of' thing. It's simple really he goes to the next family dinner and causes chaos. The faces everyone will make will be glorious when he drops that he's lord regent of a dimension, the USA is at war with his dimension, and it's such a shame that no one can meet Jason's wife or ward till there is a peace treaty. Then he just needs to sit back and watch the entertainment as his siblings realize he has forever won the position of favorite child by being the first married and first to give Bruce a grandkid. Also you know the chaos of Bruce willing to wage a one man war if necessary so he can meet his grandson. Jason figures it will take at most a month for the government to cave.

And like a cherry on top he's going to get on a medical treatment plan for the pit. Everything is looking great for him.

#submission by sarahlikesbugs-blog #this has been sitting in my inbox forever im so sorry #i was waiting to have something smart to add but guess what burnout is a bitch #anyway king regent Jason and his lovely go getter wife #he really said 'im going to make the most of this and take advantage as i can' #also making Bruce fix things for him? cherry on top #petty jason is so fun #jazz/jason #anger management ship #hardcover ship #jazz x jason #dpxdc

[temperamentalaquarius]

THE TRAGEDY OF BRUCE AND JASON'S RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THAT BRUCE DID NOT LOVE JASON ENOUGH ITS THAT BRUCE LOVED JASON SO MUCH THAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH BRUCE WANTED TO KILL THE JOKER, EVEN IN THE DEPTHS OF HIS DESPAIR AND HATRED, HE KNEW THAT IF HE DID HE WOULD BE IN PART SPITTING IN THE FACE OF THE IDEALS THAT HIS SON DIED FOR AND HE COULD NOT LET HIMSELF TO DESTROY THE HEROIC LEGACY OF JASON TODD, BUT WHEN JASON RETURNED HE TOOK BRUCE'S UNDYING DEVOTION AND SWALLOWED RAGE FOR APATHY

#jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #bitch i might wing

[outoftimewriting]

"oh jason almost murdered tim in titan's tower" well he might have carved him up a little, but tim absolutely send him back to his grave. tim looked at that fresh zombie ass and went "well guess who's back, the failure!"

#tim drake #red robin #batman #tim drake wayne #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #titan's tower #red hood #red hood attack on titan's tower #bitch tim was like #there's only one of us wearing yellow yoga pants from target #and it aint me #bitch tim drake #give us disrespectful #this boy was just #teen titans #young justice #yj